#ONLY WHEN I GOT HOME I REALISED WE WERE IN DECEMBER

[bbaycon]

Some riz au lait doodle for the start of december

It was chocolate flavoured tea

[hedgehog-moss]

I volunteered to help the florist with her Mother's Day deliveries today, it was fun! My favourite parts of the experience:

early this morning I delivered flowers to women who were busy with morning farm chores, usually out in the barn; some had forgotten it was Mother's Day and were pleasantly surprised to see me show up holding a bunch of flowers above my head (so it wouldn't get eaten by barn animals on the way)

speaking of: one woman let a cow smell the flowers, then said "they're probably treated with chemicals—better not have a taste" with an apologetic look (at her cow)

a little boy opened the door at one point and I said, flowers for your mum! and he called her and while waiting for her to come downstairs, he said, "I learnt a Mother's Day poem at school", so I said, let's hear it! And apparently he hadn't expected that, and he lit up upon realising he would get higher returns on his poem investment than expected. He thought he'd recited it once and it was over but here was a fresh new audience!

a woman whom I found at the back of her garden hanging out with ducks deplored the fact that she didn't have a coin in her pocket for a tip, then said "Do you want to see my baby pigeons?" Yes of course I want to see your baby pigeons. That's a good tip

I delivered a bouquet to someone and a woman next door, who was in her garden, turned to the open window of her house and said, "[Neighbour's name] got flowers! For MOTHER'S DAY."

I later had to return to that street after a last-minute order was placed to this woman's address. Whomever she was talking to inside the house got the message loud and clear :)

at one point I entered a barn that seemed empty (except for cows), said "Is anyone here?" and a goat SPRUNG UP out of nowhere and poked me with her hoof and gave me a heart attack

I returned to the shop and the florist let me pick a couple of plants as thanks, and we had the usual conversation—"Would this cheerful yellow plant thrive in my house?" "No. Your house is under 10°C. Try this one instead." Me: "This one isn't yellow :( It's more austere" Her: "So is your house" (She entered my non-heated kitchen in December once, and ever since I've been trying to convince her that it's not always like that) (just six months per year)

as I sat in the shop waiting for more bouquets to deliver, a man came in to buy roses and the florist started wrapping a ribbon around the bunch and the man asked, could you put a ribbon around each rose? I said aw they're for several mums? :) And he said yeah—that he was going to visit his mum at the retirement home and he wanted to get something "for all her friends too, why not!" It made everyone smile

admiring the florist's skill as she quickly put together a bouquet for a new order, I said something like "at least AI won't steal your job" and she said "with quantum computing, you don't know... not sure what it is but I read an article and it sounded scary." I said, I heard it's still impractical because the quantum computer particles need to be kept in very cold environments, like close to absolute zero, and she said "Quantum plants would thrive in your house."

Florist: "I'll accompany you for this delivery because the person who filled the form gave a 'turn left after the third mossy rock'-type of address"

I was invited at her house for lunch, and I asked warily "Does your husband still have swans?" She said "No, we only kept the geese. We have just 3. They're evil too but not as bad as the swans"

one of my favourite interactions was when I delivered flowers in a hamlet that could fit in my pocket, and a young girl who came to the door asked me in what village I lived, and I said, it's not a village, just a lone house in the woods, and she sighed "I wish I could live away from civilisation." I looked around us. Asked, how many people live in this village? She said, "Sixty." I said, "That's too many?" She said, "Yeah."

Final stats for today: I was offered a coffee 4 times, Mother's Day chocolates 2 times, and 1 meeting with baby pigeons; was startled by 1 goat and terrorised by 3 geese; petted 2 windowsill cats, and was asked if Pampérigouste was currently in her pasture 4 times.

[pink-sparkly-witch]

Tequila

Summary: Tequila has a lot to answer for when Y/N wakes up naked in Dean’s bed, but once the shock wears off, she realises that maybe it’s not such a bad thing.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female Reader

Rating: Teen

Warnings: alcohol consumption, mentions of smut, angst, fluff, feelings, friends to lovers

Word Count: 1k

A/N: Another December Drabble for you all to enjoy!

My Masterlist     AO3    Ko-Fi

Consider reblogging to spread this far and wide around this Hellsite, or leaving a comment. It really does fuel a creative’s muse. If you’re too shy or too cool for people to know you read fanfic and you don’t want it showing on your blog, you can submit an anonymous ask or drop me a DM 💖

The sun streams through the motel’s threadbare curtains, rudely awakening you from a deep, drunken sleep. Your head is pounding, and there’s a ringing in your ears that comes with the vague memory of the loud music playing at the bar last night.

It’d been a hard hunt to stomach: Lamia, a child-eating demon, had decided to take up residence in Grangeville, Idaho, and once you’d blasted her ass back to hell, you and Dean really, really needed to let off a lot of steam.

Luckily, there was a dive bar next door to the motel, so neither of you had to stay sober enough to drive home, and you’d both been well and truly shit-faced. You’d hustled a small fortune playing pool; he’d sung karaoke, and there were tequila shots… lots and lots of tequila shots.

A snore from behind you made you freeze. It sounded like Dean, but that couldn’t be right. Why would you and Dean be in the same bed? Whoever it was rolled over and slid their arm over your waist, pulling you into their body. You could feel something hard poke the back of your thigh… at least he’s packing, you thought before the mystery man spoke.

“Good morning, sweetheart.” Suddenly, the whole night’s events come flooding back to you at once.

One tequila shot turned into two. Two turned to four. Four turned to six, and before you knew it, you were stumbling through the door to Dean’s room, lips attached to his, nails raking through his hair and over his scalp and neck, tongues dancing a passionate tango while your clothes flew in every direction.

Dean made love to you so deliciously good. He was sweet and gentle at times. Rough and hard when you needed it. In all the years you’d known him, this was the first time you’d ended up in his bed, yet he knew your body better than you did. 

The green-eyed hunter had known how to pleasure you better than anyone had before him. Touching places no one had ever touched before. Taking you higher than you’d ever been, making you scream his name so loud the occupant next door had banged the wall.

It’s overwhelming, and you can feel last night’s alcohol swirl dangerously in your stomach, threatening to make an appearance. You lifted the covers and glanced down. Yep, definitely naked.

Pulling the sheet tighter to your body, you cautiously turn around, your worst fear confirmed as Dean’s twinkling green orbs and cocky smirk greet you.

“Well, this changes things!” he grins, and you can’t decide if you want to punch his painfully beautiful face or kiss him.

“Oh, God!” you gasp, covering your face with your hands. “This can’t be happening.”

“Y/N?” Dean asks, concern evident in his voice. “You okay?”

“I can’t believe I did you—I mean that. I can’t believe I did that,” you mumble.

“Come on, don’t be like that! We had a great time. I got you off six times, sweetheart! That’s a personal record for me!”

Dean’s words are meant to be comforting, but they do the opposite and only embarrass you more. The urge to kiss him is gone, leaving you wanting to punch his painfully beautiful, smug face.

“Seriously, Y/N, are you okay? Did I hurt you in any way? Did you not want that to happen? Because I gotta say, you were all over me at the bar, and I get that we had a lot of tequila and were drunk, but I thought you wanted me, too?”

Now that Dean had put his cocky persona aside and the real Dean was in the room, you’d changed your mind again and wanted to kiss him.

“No, Dean. I wanted it to happen. I have for an embarrassingly long time. What I don’t want is to be just another notch on your bedpost. It’s why I’ve never given in to your very persuasive charms over the years. Because I want to be more than just one night to you. And I know that’s not what you want—”

“Woah, Y/N, slow down!” Dean shot up on the bed and turned you to face him. “Did you not hear me when I said this changes things? Do you honestly think I’d risk what we have for one night? I’ve wanted you since the day we met, and last night was the first time since we met that you’ve shown any interest in me. And sweetheart, I haven’t been shy in pulling out my best moves for you.” His words and body language are so expressive and genuine, and you know he’s not feeding you a line. He likes you and he’s wanted you for a long time. All of his flirting and come-ons were real.

“And I thought ‘this is it. I finally get to call her my girl’. Maybe I shouldn’t have followed through with it when we were drunk, but I don’t regret taking my chance with you. Please tell me you don’t regret what happened.” Dean cups your cheeks to keep your gaze on his. The pain crossing his features breaks your heart. You want to tell him you feel the same way, but it’s risky.

“Honestly, I don’t remember much from last night, just bits and pieces, but I know enough to know that if that happened, I wanted it to happen,” you say, trying to ignore the look of Dean’s disappointment at your lack of memory from the night before.

“Do you really want me?” you ask, terrified this was a tequila-induced dream.

“Since the day I met you. And if you’re interested, I’d like to see where we’d go. Together. As a couple.” For once, Dean looks incredibly shy and vulnerable, making your heart swell.

“I’d like that too, De,” you smile, giggling when he grins boyishly.

“Yeah?” he checks, and you nod.

“Yeah,” you confirm.

“Then, I think you should lay back and let me refresh your memory of last night,” Dean grins as he gently pushes you back down on the mattress and pulls your legs apart.

Tags: @acitygrownwillow @akshi8278 @ashbatz @candy-coated-misery0731 @chriszgirl92 @deans-baby-momma @deans-spinster-witch @deansbbyx @deanwanddamons @duncanhillscoffeecups @foxyjwls007 @giggles1026 @globetrotter28 @hobby27 @hoboal87 @impala67rollingthroughtown @iprobablyshipit91 @jackles010378 @jamerlynn @jc-winchester @k-slla @kazsrm67 @kmc1989 @lacilou @ladysparkles78 @leigh70 @lyarr24 @michecolegate @mrsjenniferwinchester @nancymcl @negans-lucille-tblr @nelachu2423 @octoberclidan @perpetualabsurdity @roseblue373 @sandlee44 @sexyvixen7 @snackles87 @spnbaby-67 @spnwoman @stixnstripesworld @stoneyggirl2 @suckitands33 @synmorite @tristanrosspada-ackles @twinkleinadiamondsky @waters-2567 @winchestergirl1720

[sc0tters]

Best Yet | Luke Hughes

summary: when luke gets the wrong idea of your friendship with ethan you can't help but let your feelings for luke slip.

request: yes/no

warnings: swearing, underage drinking.

word count: 2.53k

authors note: just like that we are back with the regular fics! this one has been staring at me from my inbox for a while now so it felt right to get it done. I know a lot of you guys wanted it to be done in one part but it didn't feel like the vibes meshed well so due to that keep your eyes peeled for part two soon!

part two

Being Luke’s best friend was the role you had your entire life.

Your moms went to college together so when they learnt they were pregnant at the same time it was of course a matter of destiny. When you were five you moved to Toronto and ended up having Luke a treehouse away from you. Quickly the two of you got known as each others other half as you were never seen too far away from Luke and he the same with you.

Life came at you both quickly as you ended up forever in Luke’s corner and his number one fan who was now watching him almost live out his dreams. Both Quinn and Jack had paved the way for him to become the third Hughes brother in the NHL and Luke wasn’t going to let the opportunity pass him by.

Draft day was finally upon you both and it was suffice to say that Luke was a nervous wreck. You had been in Toronto still after he moved to Michigan.

It was tough on you both having to watch him leave you “I can come visit?” Luke’s proposal was honestly there to make him feel better too as tears formed in his eyes “you better.” You nodded pulling him into a hug as tears streamed down your face. Ellen and your mom couldn’t help but feel bad about separating you two as it now meant you were no longer y/n and Luke who do everything together. You were now going to have to be y/n and Luke who only see each other twice a year “I’ll text you when I land.” Luke offered making you nod “no you better call me!” To the untrained eye they would think you two had never left each others sides. But you had, and the two months he spent in Michigan over the summer two years ago were total hell for the both of you.

Jack and Quinn couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of their younger brother “dude you’ll see her in December!” Plans had already been made for you to spend Christmas with the Hughes family but not even that felt like enough “now move over and let us hug her.” Jack nodded in agreement as he ruffled his hand through your hair making you groan.

But life had found itself getting in the way of your friendship when you were in Greece the same summer of the draft. Luke was crushed when he realised that you weren’t meant to be back until the week after the draft “Luke honey could you get the door please?” Ellen called out as she heard the knock. With the pandemic it meant the draft was happening from peoples homes “why should I have to?” Luke groaned getting up as he saw that Quinn and Jack were both closer to the door.

Yet when Ellen sent her son an unimpressed look Luke knew that he was best to go and see what was up “yes I’m coming!” Luke complained rolling his eyes until he froze upon opening the door.

There you were with a golden tan that he was certain you got whilst in Europe “surprise?” You smiled bringing your hands up as you shrugged “what are you doing here?” Luke asked as he rubbed his eyes trying to see if he was dreaming or not as he looked at you “you really thought I’d let you get drafted without me here?” You laughed as you shook your head.

What you two didn’t notice was that Jack and Quinn were watching “just hug her you idiot!” Jack groaned as he rolled his eyes waiting to see you hug his brother. Luke didn’t wait for another second as he pulled you into a hug where he continued kissing your head like if he didn’t you would disappear.

The point was that through everything, even the draft, you were there. Even when you were both applying to university you were together.

It was a warm morning when you and Luke hopped onto a FaceTime call “you got your college?” You asked tucking your hair behind your ears as you smiled looking at him. You were in one of his old sweaters as you bounced your legs waiting for him to answer “yep.” He nodded shutting his door as you two agreed to only tell each other about your university applications until you accepted one.

Your moms agreed that it might sway your decisions about where you were going to go if you each knew what the other was doing “promise you wont get sad if I’m not at your college?” You teased making him scoff “I made peace with you not coming to Michigan months ago.” Luke rolled his eyes as your face dropped.

When you didn’t respond it made him raise his eyebrows “you didn’t apply to Michigan did you?” He blinked as you nodded “Umich.” You really didn’t remember the last time that Luke cheered the way that he did hearing you say that “me too!” It was one of those moments that you two seriously wished you were together so you could celebrate this.

Everyone laughed upon hearing the news that you and Luke were finally going to be back together. You were happy to have him back in your life sure. It was great having him back to only being a couple of minutes away from you. But what you never could have taken into account was that you would develop feelings for him.

Sure everyone predicted that it would eventually happen. Even Jack and Quinn were smart enough to know that this was on the cards for you and their brother. But not even having it in big bright letters would have made you believe it. Lo and behold though you were in the midst of watching your love grow strained as Luke found himself trying to get with other girls.

Every party came with Luke flirting with a new girl as he fully lived out his time as a college boy. It was clear he never wanted to settle down. With each new girl who took his attention it only seemed to land up with you hurt. And to top it all off Luke couldn’t even bother to pick up on it “you deserve better peach.” Ethan sighed as he pushed off of the wall to see you quietly nursing a beer.

It made you stare at the ground as you shook your head “doesn’t matter when it’s not what I want.” You had turned down every guy who looked at you since April of your freshman year. You thought that if you showed Luke that you wanted him then maybe, just maybe he would want you too “maybe you’re looking in the wrong place.” Ethan shrugged wanting you to see that you were wanted by someone who was right in front of you.

But as Luke’s laughter echoed in your ears you couldn’t help but shake your head “this is stupid.” You chewed at the inside of your cheek “I’m gonna go.” Ethan watched as you went to leave “let’s to do something tomorrow.” His offer made a smile form of your face.

You nodded as he squeezed your shoulder “I’ll text you the details then.” Ethan announced as if he didn’t already have something planned for his time with you.

The boys were leaving for Tampa the next day so of course the moment the final skate ended Luke was back in your dorm as he sat on your bed helping you get ready for this date. All of the dresses in your closet weren’t worthy as Luke stayed stolen for way too long before muttering something along the lines of “it’s okay.” Before he would point out something he didn’t like about it “since when do you dislike my entire closet?” You scoffed as Luke bought you two of the dresses that he had turned down.

Luke felt bile rise into his throat as he shook his head remembering how the last two hugged your body in all of the right places. It looked a little too good on you for Luke to even consider letting you wear it. If it was up to Luke he would have burnt the red satin fabric so nothing could see you in it again “why do you even care about looking good for Ethan?” Last night when he got back to the house Luke was less than impressed to hear about how Ethan was taking his best friend out.

The one and only rule Luke made the team agree to was that you were meant to be off limits. It had always been the rule amongst his teammates as Luke knew what some guys were like and you deserved better than that “I want to look good for myself.” You corrected him as you had been raised on the idea that dressing up for yourself meant more than dressing up for a guy who didn’t want you.

You hated how quiet Luke was as he sat cross legged on your bed with your duck plushy on his lap. Quacky was something he won for you when you guys were seven at the town fair. Quinn joked that it was your guys’ first chance at being parents to your child. At the time it was something that you brushed off as the sheer thought of becoming a mom especially to Luke’s kids. It actually made you laugh when you looked back on it, going from thinking that the boy had cooties to now having your world revolve around him had you feeling sick.

As you stared at Quacky, Luke couldn’t help but let his mind come out in the form of word vomit “if I didn’t know any better I’d say you like Ethan.” Luke teased watching the color drain from your face. It was the way that the smug look sat perched proudly on his face yet in actuality he was so far away from the truth that you almost wanted to laugh “not him.” You shook your head raking your fingers through your hair.

That answer made Luke feel sick as he raised his eyebrows trying to mask his surprise “is it Luca?” It was clear that the Fantilli boy had always had a thing for you from the moment he met you. The way he left himself tongue tied after most attempts to talk to you had everyone laughing in amusement as they teased him, well everyone but you did and Luke thought he finally knew the reason behind it.

You couldn’t help but pinch the bridge of your nose “Rutger is a guy that could be your type too.” Luke thought aloud as he nodded to himself remembering the times you went for tall blonde guys “no god dammit!” You snapped finally hitting your palm flat against your table as you rolled your eyes. You had to chew at the inside of your cheek in an effort to stop the tears from rolling in.

Part of you refused to let Luke see you like that and the other part of you knew you wouldn’t have enough time to fix your makeup. Once you let your floodgates open you knew they weren’t going to shut.

An irritated laugh left your lips as Luke clearly scanned your face as he grew concerned by your outbreak "you're the one I like!" You blurted out for the first time in your life leaving Luke absolutely speechless. It was crazy how five words could do that to someone you have known your entire life, the one person who is meant to know you better than you know yourself is left with their lips sealed shut and their eyes wide. As if that wasn't meant to bring you comfort already you instead opted to dig the hole you were forming around yourself deeper "which I don't know why I am telling you because it's not like you have even noticed it as you've got your head shoved so far up these girls asses that I'm pretty sure you could see the light of day if you looked hard enough." The efforts you made to not cry were officially thrown out of the window as you raised the back of your hand to wipe your cheek.

Still Luke didn't know what to say, honestly a little surprised that you felt so strongly about the girls he saw "which kills me because you really are a great guy but you aren't letting anyone, even yourself see it anymore!" You were going through an emotional roller coaster similar to grief as you now found yourself getting angry "Ethan saw that I was upset at the party and he said we should go out." Your words finally made sense to him as Luke finally found comfort in the fact that you were going out with one of his best friends in just under thirty minutes.

Your fists clenched as the boy remained silent now staring at the floor as he processed your confession making the room feel heavy "would you just say something please?" You begged as you went to touch his shoulder but the boy was quicker as he pulled away "I-I-I need to think." Luke shook his head as he got up, his ears were ringing and his skull felt like it was closing in on his brain. He was waiting for you to say that this was some kind of sick prank, some kind of joke. Like the YouTube videos where someone jumps out of the bushes with a camera, they reveal that it was all just some big setup.

But as tears streamed down your face and your lip began to quiver Luke felt the pit form in his stomach as reality sunk in. You were in love with him "I'm sorry." Luke didn't know what he was meant to say as he pushed past you when he went for the door of your dorm. He didn't dare look back as he could feel the sound of your sobs attack his heartstrings. Through your blurred vision, you reached for your phone when you collapsed onto the floor needing to call someone, literally anyone to talk to you. But in that moment you knew there was only one person that you could have spoken to "Ethan?" It wasn't clear why you were so hurt by this. You had prepared yourself for rejection as you knew you weren't Luke's type.

Yet even as you had done that, it still wasn't enough. That day Luke hadn't rejected you, but he also didn't tell you he felt the same way. It left you feeling like you were in this awful state of limbo going back and forth between the two options. But not even four days on, Luke no longer needed to tell you how he felt.

The radio silence and the message that you had to get from one of his brothers sealed his feelings towards you practically on the dotted line.

quinny 🧸: what do you think about Luke going to Jersey?

[spnexploration]

A Christmas Case

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: None

Summary: Dean drags you out of bed to go to a case, ruining your Christmas plans. But does he have a plan to make up for it?

Words: 1.1k

This is my submission for @spnfanficpond Secret Santa 2023 (ignore the fact it was posted in Jan 2024...) and is a gift for @apocalypseornaw ❤ Sorry for the delay!

Supernatural writing masterlist

“Come on, we’ve got a case,” Dean said, shaking you awake.

“Fu’ offfff,” you grumbled at him. “You’re not allowed in my room.” What you’d really like was Dean to stay in your room permanently, maybe some ravishing… But that was never going to happen.

He chuckled, “Just channel that energy to the monster. We leave in twenty.”

---

You sulked in the backseat. It was December 23rd, why the hell were you off on a case? You’d put in a little bit of effort at the bunker, getting a tree and some dollar shop baubles. That was all for naught, now.

Dean caught sight of you in the rear-view mirror. “What’s up with you, princess? We interrupt your beauty sleep?” You didn’t appreciate his teasing.

“I don’t see why monsters couldn’t give us the bloody holidays off.”

“It’s just another day in our line of work, don’t know why you got your hopes up.”

You glared at him. “Yes, how could I, when known Scrooge, Dean Winchester, was going to be trawling for cases at 6am on Christmas Eve Eve.” It was his own damn fault he wouldn’t be getting the present you’d spent a lot of time choosing for him.

“Hey! I didn’t even find it!”

You turned your glare to Sam, “Got anything to say, Second Scrooge Winchester?”

“I just have some google alerts set up, sorry.”

You crossed your arms.

“You might have been expecting a bit too much from a Christmas at the Bunker anyway,” Dean said in a tone of voice as if he was trying to make you feel better. “We’re not very good at Christmases.”

You rolled your eyes and looked out the window. The boys decided to let you be.

---

You decided to keep a tally of how many people said something about the FBI making you work so close to Christmas: you were already up to 4 and it was only mid-afternoon on the first day. Happily the drive hadn’t been too long from the bunker to the crappy town where the case was, so you’d been able to get started straight away.

There was a giant Christmas tree in the main street of town. You felt like it was mocking you.

You dragged your feet as you followed the boys into the library, conveniently still open. You wondered if Dean even realised everything was going to be closed on Christmas Day. Serve him right if he couldn’t get pie that day.

You half-heartedly trawled some books, not really contributing to the research effort.

“Sorry,” Sam said quietly as he came to sit by you. “I didn’t mean to ruin your holidays.”

“It’s alright,” you said, not really feeling it but not wanting to sound petty, either.

“I can tell you’re upset. Hell, even Dean can tell you’re upset.”

“You know, Dean’s better at reading people than people give him credit for,” you said, always quick to defend inappropriate criticism of Dean.

“Ok, you’re right, that was a low blow. But you’re still upset, and I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, well, solve the case fast enough and maybe we can do Christmas on Boxing Day at least.”

He gave your arm a friendly squeeze before standing up again and heading back to the shelves.

“I think I found it!” Dean called from somewhere. You stood to go find him.

---

It turned out to be a very quick case, over by late evening Christmas Eve. It was late enough that ordinarily you’d all head back to the motel room and go home early the next morning, but Dean suggested something different. “How about we head back to the bunker tonight, I’ll drive.”

“It’s pretty late,” Sam said, nursing a couple of injuries.

“You can sleep in the backseat until we get there. Won’t it be better to get to sleep in your own bed?”

“If you’re doing this for me, you don’t have to,” you said. “It’s fine, it’s just a stupid day. You don’t have to kill yourself driving late at night just for me.”

“No, come on, it’ll be nice to be back home.” He gave you that beautiful smile and you couldn’t help but melt.

You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak. Sam mumbled agreement and so you all piled into the Impala, Sam stretched out on the backseat. He was asleep almost instantly, and you weren’t too far behind.

---

“Hey, hey,” you woke to Dean whispering your name and gently shaking your shoulder. “Wake up.”

You looked around blearily, this wasn’t the bunker. It looked like the middle of nowhere. You started to ask Dean, but he held up his hand.

“Shh, don’t wake Sam,” he said, still whispering. “Come out of the car for a sec, I’ll explain it all.”

You looked at him quizzically but followed, closing the door as quietly as you could behind yourself. Dean took your hand and pulled you around to the front of the car. Your heart was racing; this was different…

“I’m sorry Sam and I ruined the Christmas you had planned,” he said, standing very close to you. You looked up into his stunningly gorgeous face wanting nothing more than to kiss him, but knowing that he saw you like a little sister. “But I thought we could look for Santa delivering presents,” he said, gesturing to the huge expanse of the night sky you could see.

You laughed, “What am I, 7?”

“Well, ok, it doesn’t have to be Santa. But it’s a nice night for stargazing, and I wanted to make it up to you.” He reached up and brushed his thumb over your cheek. This was definitely new. You nodded in agreement and he took your hand again, pulling you up on to the top of the bonnet.

He scooted very close to you. You could feel his body heat, which was good in the freezing night air. You felt a wave of goosebumps break out over your skin, but you weren’t entirely sure if they were because of the cold or the proximity of Dean.

He reached behind him and grabbed a blanket you hadn’t seen was there, then put his arms around you and draped it across your shoulders. He was so close, so beautifully close. And yet, always so far.

He didn’t put his arms back down, like you were expecting.

He put a hand on your shoulder. What was he doing? He put his other hand on your cheek. So warm, so close. So... intimate.

You looked up into his big, green eyes.

He leaned in close.

Oh. Oh! This was happening!

His soft, Adonis-like lips were suddenly on yours. You closed your eyes and leant into the moment.

He pulled away, “Merry Christmas. Hope this makes up for having to be on the road.”

“Oh, this definitely makes up for it,” you said before capturing his lips again.

The stars looked down from above, forgotten.

.

.

.

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[callmewrinkles3]

When Emma Falls in Love - DR3 x Fem!OC

Summary: Christmas involves the same thing every year for Em. A week in Liverpool, formal clothing, and returning to her apartment to shower and have a bottle of wine to forget how bad it was. But this year she's spending it in Australia with Dan and his family. No big deal.

Words: 11.4k

Warnings: Mentions of past bad relationships, mentions of cheating, mentions of toxic family relationships. Panic attacks, worry, mentions of sex (but nothing explicit) and mentions of sex toys.

AN: HEEEEEEEYYYYYYYY remember us? First things first - apologies for how long this took. The plan was Christmas, but life has been ridiculous and too busy and we just apologise. Thank you for still being here and enjoying reading more about Em and Dan!

December 2018

When she was growing up, Em never kept a diary. She was the odd one out for many reasons in primary school, that was just one of them. She was too afraid of her mother finding it when “cleaning”, reading what was on her mind and telling her to stop. She hadn’t started it as a kid, and it didn’t begin when she was an adult either. But if she did have one, the first words on the page for December 22, 2018, would have been "I think I'm in love with Dan." And to say "I think" would have been a blatant lie because she knew.

She knew that night in the bar for his birthday that she was going to fall for him. She knew in Philadelphia as she sang that she only bought that dress for him to take off. She knew in Austin when he kissed her in front of another woman.

That morning in July when she woke up from one of the greatest nights of sleep in her life with Dan’s arms around her and his snoring lulling her back to sleep like white noise. Every single time he let Blake out of their shared taxi first and circled the block to come into hers when he got back from travelling. The way he never arrived home without a bouquet of flowers because she’d once said she never thought she could buy herself some. But that afternoon in Perth she couldn’t hide from the realisation anymore.

She’d been working in the early afternoon after she made lunch for the two of them and Isaac, coming out to find her boys napping on the couch. The plan had been for them to watch a film while they waited for her but toddlers were not known for their patience. She couldn’t blame Isaac for sleeping, and once Dan got comfy he could nod off anywhere.

The two of them had been up early that morning picking Isaac up for a day out and a sleepover to let Michelle finish getting ready for Christmas. Once they made it back to the farm it was running around and playing at the pool with a stop for lunch. Em had prepped sandwiches for their lunch before disappearing to work for a few hours so she didn’t fall even further behind. And now they were fast asleep, blond curls against Dan’s off season stubble.

The craving to curl up on the couch and cuddle into them was overwhelming. There was nothing else she wanted at that moment, just hug them and kiss Dan and stay there forever. But she couldn’t.

Yes, she was Auntie Emmy to Isaac - a fact he’d announced to them that morning running to greet her with chubby cheeks and “ANNIE EMMYYYYYYYY” - but Auntie Emmy was Uncle Dan’s friend. And nothing else.

She was just his friend. Even though she was the only one sleeping in his bed, even when he was basically living in her crappy flat in London. Even when it was her name he groaned out when they were together as he pulled her close. And that was why she couldn’t admit it to him. Admitting it to herself felt nearly too much.

It hurt. Oh it ached. But it was better to hurt a little bit and enjoy getting to have Danny in the way that so many people didn’t know Daniel Ricciardo, than say how she felt and break the spell. She could suck it up and bury her feelings and stay by his side as his best friend. If she didn’t say it out loud then it wasn’t real and if it wasn’t real then it couldn’t hurt her badly.

And she couldn’t tell him. She couldn’t see his face fall, couldn’t hear “we said we were just friends, nothing more.”. Couldn’t bear to have to leave people who for the first time in her life seemed to actually like her because she’d ruined it. So she’d stay quiet and get to have Christmas with people who seemed to want her there. She’d enjoy summer in December and have those weeks. Especially if it meant she got time with Isaac.

Em had fallen in love with him the first time she met him in real life in Abu Dhabi, and the feeling was mutual. She could count how many times she’d seen him in person on both hands, but he was as crazy about her as she was about him. His cheeky smile warmed up her heart. The way he ran to give her a hug after the first time they met was one of her favourite things in the world. How he reached out to her so she would hold him during the insanity of that first weekend. But it was the way that he was so much like Dan that made her heart grow ten sizes.

Physically they didn’t look alike apart from those curls they’d all inherited from Grace, but their personalities were identical. Dan joked it was why Isaac liked spending so much time with her, but she smiled and brushed it off. For her own sanity she couldn’t let that get into her head. She couldn’t do it. Not when whatever they were had an expiration date and she didn’t know how long it would last.

All of that combined meant she couldn’t resist watching them for an extra couple of moments, enjoying how relaxed they were snoozing together. She took a photo of them with her phone to secure the memory forever. She wasn’t sure what caused him to stir, if it was the small noise from the camera or if it was her moving, but Dan opened his eyes slowly and focused on her. A smile began to go across his face.

“Wanna join us? We can stay like this for a while.”

She desperately wanted to say yes. She wanted to lie down next to Dan and fall asleep with his arm around her. But she shouldn’t and she couldn’t. Anything that wasn’t at least platonic seeming had to stay just them. Sure Dan had put an arm around her shoulder or waist with his parents, but not with Isaac. She didn’t want that with him. He was too small and she didn’t want to confuse him with acting like a couple when they weren’t. If she couldn’t explain what was happening to herself then she couldn’t to him.

“I’m gonna get a start on dinner,” Em whispered, blurting out the first excuse she could think of. “Is pasta ok?”

The moment the words left her lips, she made her one fatal mistake. Kissing the top of Dan's head and then Isaac's cheek. It was supposed to be the briefest moment, a peck and then go to the kitchen. But the moment she leaned down to kiss Isaac's head his litttle hand reached out for her, not letting go. He didn't say anything, just grumbled and rubbed his head against Dan's chest before settling back down.

"I think you have to stay for a while. C'mon." He shifted slightly to let her slip beside them, settling down. "I know what you're thinking. It's fine."

"Danny-"

"I promise. It's fine." She should have stood straight up and headed out. Before she could even think about moving away Isaac woke up enough to smile at her, moving across to have half his body over Em, half on Dan. Then she was definitely not going anywhere, not when his tiny hand clung to her shirt to hold her there.

"I always knew he'd be a heartbreaker and steal someone's girl at some point in his life. I just never imagined it'd be mine."

"He's got that Ricciardo grin and those curls, what can I say?" Dan chuckled lowly at her words, his chest shaking as he held it back.

"That's not fair, I saw you first."

"I'm not some toy, you don't need to fight him over me."

"I mean if I need to I will." It was Em's turn to keep her laughter down, swallowing it so she didn't wake the sleeping toddler.

"No, it's fine. You don't need to."

"Just had to be sure."

She really didn't mean to fall asleep. She shouldn't have, she wanted to just stay for five minutes before carefully moving Isaac across and standing up to do something. But having Dan's chest as a pillow and Isaac as a tiny weighted blanket didn't help her. Dan smelled like the shower gel they were using and home, Isaac's baby shampoo mixing and making her feel peaceful and dozing off easily.

When she opened her eyes she thought she'd find her fast asleep boys, but instead they were wide awake. The youngest was staring at the film he hadn't finished, the oldest looking straight down at her when Em looked up.

How was she not supposed to fall in love with him? That broad smile and big eyes and how was she supposed to keep it platonic when he looked at her like she hung the moon and stars every single day. He called her his moon once and the compliment made her blush for a week. It was impossible to not fall in love with him, and that was the moment she admitted it. The way he stole tiny kisses while Isaac was distracted. She was gone.

They stayed like that for the afternoon, what was supposed to be a homemade meal turning into driving out for pizza for the three of them. Isaac stayed on her hip until they got him into a highchair, laughing and enjoying his food. She felt at home and happy and was so glad she was there.

It was why she said yes when he asked her what she was doing for Christmas and if she wanted to come to Australia with him. She missed him when he had a double header abroad, she couldn't imagine spending six weeks apart when he went home for Christmas. They could have done it and would have been fine. They'd done it before, but that was before feelings and sex and friends with benefits was added to the mix they had going on.

Em missed him back when they just texted and had a couple of calls, so she had to say yes. But it was terrifying to get on that plane with Dan to go to Perth. It took a call from Grace insisting she wanted Em there and everyone was looking forward to seeing her to make Em feel like it was ok.

Once she made the decision to go to Australia to spend weeks there with Dan it wasn't too scary, but the fact that she was introduced to Dan's world was. Especially now that she was slowly admitting that she'd fallen in love with him. Since the start Em had tried to deny it to herself, insist that it wasn't true. That she had no feelings for him apart from friendship and being proud of him.

But that was like saying the sun wasn't going to come out the next day. On those days where Em wasn't sure about it herself, he made her sure. If she didn't know better she'd think that was his own personal mission to make her fall in love with him. There were texts, calls, facetimes when he probably didn't have time. A text telling her to open the door because she had a delivery. How could she not fall for him?

The easiest way to fall in love with him was what he did every single trip home. She'd leave a sandwich in the fridge before she went to bed, and he came back to her tiny apartment. He had his own one that he could be in, he could go back to somewhere comfy and warm rather than her tiny one bed where the heating rarely worked. But he stayed with her. He took over doing things to make her life better, buying new sheets that were more expensive than she'd ever pay because they were softer and calling the landlord to make him fix the heating after he came back from Brazil and the apartment was freezing.

She couldn't help falling deeper and deeper in love with him when he slid into bed and wrapped his arms around her, whispering how happy he was to be back home. He could have been comfortable and warm in his apartment but instead he was there with her. The chill in the air was ignored as they pulled whatever clothes were on off, Dan marking her body as his. Week after week that was exactly what happened in beds around the world as she travelled to the US and Abu Dhabi to watch him race. She was starting to believe that maybe they did belong together as night after night they got into the same bed, whispering sweet nothings and bringing each other pleasure before curling up to sleep.

It's what happened at the farm when they were alone. Officially Em had a guest room to herself, but Dan's room became theirs. She spent so much of her days stepping outside of her comfort zone, it was exhausting and made her stomach ball up, but being with him was easy. Waking up with his arms around her was perfect. Getting into bed with him every night felt normal. It was terrifying and normal and brilliant. It was easy for her once she got over her worries, especially after that day with Isaac on the couch. His tiny hand over her chest became the reminder that what she thought would be a bad day wasn't so bad. It's part of why she wished Isaac could have been there the night she met Dan's friends.

She knew what coming to Australia when Dan went home for the winter break involved. And when she was invited she didn't even think about it, just went for it. She knew she was going to be introduced to his favourite places in his hometown, spending most of their nights out on the farm, getting to be around his family, and some nights out with his home friends to meet them. She could excuse herself once or twice from nights out because she was never a big fan of it, but she could let the social butterfly she was accompanying go out to hang out with people. He didn't get to see his friends for most of the year, she was more than happy to stay home with her huge to read list on her kindle or a good movie.

But Dan wanted her there. He wanted to spend time with her and his friends and have them all together, and she couldn't say no to those big brown eyes. Spending time with his family was easy, she knew most of them and those she didn't know at least knew of him. But the bigger issue was when she met his friends.

It was supposed to be easy. A get together with his mates so they could catch up and everyone who lived in Perth could finally meet the famous Em. There was just one problem.

Em wasn't good with people.

It wasn't that people didn't like her, it wasn't even that she didn't like people, it was that whenever she was around people she got tired quickly and couldn't deal with them for too long. Dan was one of the rare people she didn't hate being around for more than a few minutes. He'd promised it wouldn't be anything fancy or crazy, that she didn't need to stress about it, but she still worried.

She liked to think that it would have been different if they met somewhere else. In a bar or club where she could have made an excuse to go outside for a few minutes, be somewhere neutral. But meeting at the farm was somehow worse. Dan had told her to stay by his side and she did, but she felt like she was being a bother. He told her that she didn't need to do anything, she was a guest too, but her mother's words kept going around in her head. She should be helpful, she should be useful, she should be this that and the other. If she didn't help at gatherings then what use was she? Sitting next to Dan cutting tomatoes and onions for the burgers wasn't enough.

She shouldn't feel like she was suffocating when she was with his friends. They all seemed lovely, the guys who'd known Dan since he was a kid and told her stories about what he got up to in school, girlfriends who were genuinely sweet asking her about England and her work. But it felt like it was too much. The flickering light from the firepit and the music playing and the voices made her brain go a million miles an hour, all she wanted was to get out of there. Curl up and bed and read a book. She stood there smiling and she couldn't even lean against Dan because they were supposed to be just friends. They were friends. It's how he introduced her. Em, his friend from England. Not Emmy, that was only for him, but Em.

Nobody there had any idea that as soon as the parties and dinners were over he snuck into her bed. That when he got back from being all around the world he came to her home. She was just Em and she had no idea what she was doing there. She didn't know what they were but just friends didn't cut it anymore, and even being outside on the farm it felt like she couldn't get a deep breath into her lungs. The air slowly left her body and she could barely get it in.

She wouldn't forgive herself if she ruined Dan's night. He was so happy there, tanned and grinning as he talked to people. Em decided another beer to replace her empty one and a deep breath in the kitchen would help. Just two minutes away from the crowd. She went in, grabbed two bottles from the fridge and took a few deep breaths to calm herself down. She could do it. She'd be fine and she'd get through the rest of this night. She could do it.

"Thought you were into blondes, mate," it was clear as a bell even through the noise, a dagger hitting into Em's chest. Did she seem like just a girl?

"Shut up, it's not like that." She knew they were just friends. But hearing it like that was different. It was the straw that broke the camel's back and she didn't remember the last time she wanted to cry that badly. She wanted the ground to open up beneath her and just swallow her whole so she can hide but she wasn’t lucky enough. She blinked back tears, ignoring the knot growing in her stomach and the anxiety seeping into every pore. Em’s heart raced and she could hear the whooshing sound in her eardrums. Why was she there? The questions bubbled through her brain but that was the loudest. Why did Dan invite her there? Why was she there? Why did he want her to be in Perth?

Em couldn’t stay there anymore. If she stayed out with everyone she’d break down and start crying and the last thing Dan needed was her dramatics. She didn’t want to ruin the reunion and the good time he was having. So she took a deep breath, had a sip of her beer, and pretended she heard nothing. She just needed to keep it together for long enough so Dan didn’t suspect anything. She could smile and nod as if she didn’t care about what his mates said.

All she needed to do was pretend that she was fine, and then she could run back inside and be alone. She felt terrible just thinking about it. She couldn't do one fucking thing right and be a normal person for one night and have a normal night. It just made her feel awful for Dan because he had done everything to make her comfortable. Not just that night, but he'd changed his home so she felt at home. He insisted he was in charge of the burgers so that he could make one that was cooked the way she enjoyed it - a squirt of ketchup, one slice of cheese, wrapped in two napkins so her fingers didn't get greasy. He got her a Coke Zero or a lemon San Pellegrino so she had options when she didn't want a beer. There were even some of her favourite songs on his playlist for that night, Paramore playing out over the group. He did every single thing right. But she was ruining it all.

Em tried hiding how she was feeling but it was useless. The second she was back at Dan's side he knew something was wrong. The question was quiet, asking if she was ok, but her nod was too fast and she could tell that he didn't quite believe her. Dan's brown eyes stayed on her as she tipped the rest of her bottle back.

"Mind if I head to bed?" She was proud of how even her voice sounded.

"You sure you're ok? What's up?"

"I'm fine, just jetlagged and tired still. I'll be fine."

"See you in a lil bit?" She didn't answer him, making excuses and quick comments so she didn't start crying around new to her people. It was saying how lovely it was to meet them and saying they'd get coffee or meet before she went back to England. She was so polite and correct she almost sounded like her mother and it made her want to vomit. A final quick squeeze on Dan's shoulder and she was gone.

As soon as she was in the house she just had to do a quick trip to the bathroom, change her clothes, and go into bed. But she couldn’t go into the room she'd been sleeping in. That was Dan's bedroom and she couldn't switch the light on or people would see. So in the fading light of dusk she grabbed her pjs, the book she'd been reading, and the bottle of water she kept on her nightstand. From there she went to the guest room that was supposed to be her room. Dan had mentioned it'd be her room in Abu Dhabi, just across from his. That first night he'd insisted she didn't have to sleep there if she didn't want to and they'd ended up in his bedroom and Em didn't want to leave. But now she had to be in her own room. It'd be fine.

The last thing she wanted anyone to see was her crying. Somehow she got the door of the guest room closed without letting out a sob, panic growing in her chest. Stupid, stupid, stupid. She shouldn't be crying. She had no reason to cry. She knew what she was doing.

Her back slid against the door as she ended up on the ground. Her sobs turned to gasps as she struggled to get a deep breath, thoughts burning her head. She wanted to be curled up in the bed that she'd spent the last week sleeping in. She wanted Dan's arm around her, wanted to sit on his lap and sip from his beer bottle. Wanted to forget that the night had even happened. That the man who'd been sharing her bed for the last six months preferred blondes. That the man who she'd been falling in love with might not feel the same way, and they'd agreed they were just friends and said that they weren't going to break the rules and love each other but she had. She wanted her brain to shut up with the "why the fuck does he sleep with me then" that was filling her mind with doubts.

But more than all of that she wished she was brave enough to leave. Pack her bag and go to the airport and fly back to London. Because Dan deserved so much better than anything she could offer. He deserved a beautiful blonde woman who didn't freak out during a party and could afford to rent an apartment with working heating and didn't run away to hide and cry because she couldn't cope. Of course he wouldn't pick her.

But she could barely move. Somehow she managed to stand up once she'd caught her breath, pulling on her tshirt and leggings to sleep in. From there she made it to the bed, lying and pulling up the blanket to try cocoon herself as her tears kept falling. All she wanted was for Dan to magically appear and hold her to stop her chest from feeling so tight. A hug from Dan was magical, it'd make the pressure go away in no time. But he was with his friends and she didn't blame him. She was his friend. They were just friends and she had absolutely no right to be upset about it, but it hurt.

She wasn't planning on getting a lot of sleep that night. The awful feeling in her chest wasn't getting any better, her heart was still racing, and her head ached thanks to crying so much. Finally the tears stopped and she turned onto her side in the too big bed.

A knock on the door made her close her eyes and force her breathing to even out. She didn't want Dan to see her like that. She couldn't explain what she was feeling, she couldn't start rambling about it because then she'd have to admit how she felt and that wasn't going to happen. She couldn't admit that she'd broken every rule they'd come up with and fallen in love with him. She couldn't lose him. She couldn't lose his friendship and what they had so she had to stay quiet.

"Emmy? You awake?" Em should have known he wouldn't leave even if she didn't answer, listening as he padded around to her side of the bed and knelt down, his thumb brushing the still damp skin on her cheek.

**

The second Emmy squeezed his shoulder as she said she was still jetlagged and going to bed, Dan knew something was wrong. She hadn't been ok since she got back from the kitchen with their drinks, but watching her nod and fake smile as she went back inside felt so wrong. And then he stared at their room, waiting for a light to go on and the curtains to close. But nothing happened and it felt even worse.

He knew she wasn't a fan of big parties, his friends were more like him than her and were loud but she'd been ok. He made sure she was stuck to his side for the evening, she smiled when he handed her a perfectly wrapped burger made just the way she liked them. Dan knew it wasn't easy for her, she'd told him that she found big groups hard to deal with. She was the dictionary definition of an introvert who preferred to sit with a book in silence rather than be surrounded by loud people. But she was fine.

He'd asked a couple of times, not wanting to annoy her by constantly thinking something was wrong. He'd offered if she wanted to go inside and hide out for a while he'd make excuses but she insisted she was fine. Emmy ate her burger and snacked on some chips while chatting with his mates. He heard her laugh and one of the lads made a comment about how Dan kept staring at her. He was happy.

And Em was fine until she'd leaned over to offer to get him another beer when she was getting hers. He knew she heard what Mark said, his quip about blondes. The shut up didn't go fast enough and she'd been close enough to hear. She came back looking like someone had punched her in the stomach, big eyes sad even under her fake smile. There was nothing Dan could do to make her feel better.

What he wanted to do was pull her onto his lap, arms around her waist as they shared a drink. He'd tell her that yeah he'd slept with blondes before, dated some as well, but he was hers. He was so fucking crazy about her it was insane. Dan was absolutely in love with her, and terrified to say it because she could do so much better than him. They'd promised they'd stay friends, falling in love wasn't on the list.

But he couldn't even describe how much he loved her. He loved her long brown hair, the way it fell down her shoulders and back. He loved standing behind her and brushing it out to apologise for the mess he'd made it by wrapping it around his hand and pulling her hair the way that made her groan in all the right ways, using it as an excuse to kiss along her neck. He loved the way she smiled at him. How she made jokes and laughed at them herself. How she wrapped her arms around him and welcomed him home. The carefully covered sandwich that waited for him.

He didn't want any blondes. He wanted his gorgeous, brunette Wrinkles, and just maybe in the future if he was lucky enough he'd get to have gorgeous little babies with her hair and eyes and personality. He'd never, ever wanted that until now. And then it felt like she was slipping through his fingers with one evening.

She finished her beer, excused herself saying something about jetlag, was sweet and polite and so un-Emmy it hurt, and whispered to him that she was going to bed. The going to bed wasn't a surprised, she was still jetlagged and had been tired before they even got to Australia. She was the first to head to bed every night anyway. But the way she did it worried him.

Even around his family she kissed his head before she left the room to go to bed. It was what they did when there was people around and they couldn't actually kiss because of the comments. She'd move his curls from his forehead and give him a quick kiss there or on his cheek, or if he was sitting she'd kiss the top of his head. When they were alone he'd go to bed with her, but if he was staying up she'd peck his lips and wait for him in bed.

There was none of that. Instead she gave him a tiny, sad smile and squeezed his shoulder. Like they were just friends. Like she didn't share his bed every night. It was like a knife in his back, a kick in the stomach. That was enough to tell him that something was very, very wrong. He didn't expect a kiss, but he never thought that would be it.

It was all his fault, and the second he realised their bedroom light wasn't going on he knew it. She was nothing like his friends, his life was so different to hers, but he wanted his people to love her. He needed them to. He was so used to the way their lives were intertwined that he didn't think. He was so excited to be home and happy to see his friends and introduce them to her that he made the wrong choice. He should have had it at some neutral place, brought her to a bar to meet everyone. The way he'd done it when she met his family, how it was easier because it was a new place for them all. But he took the party to her one safe place in a foreign country and that wasn't fair on her.

It wasn't how he imagined the night ending. All he wanted to do was hold her. That was his plan for the night. Get into bed, hug his girl, steal some kisses, and call it a night. He wasn't even thinking about sex that night, just curling up with Em. He knew she'd be too tired to do anything and he'd probably have too many beers to make it good for her. So he wasn't even going to try to make a move. He'd hold her, sleep drooling into his pillow, and not have the alarm on so he could have a chill morning with her. Dan was too used to going to bed holding his Emmy, falling asleep with her in his arms and her hand against his chest. And then she was gone and he had the biggest hole in his chest knowing he'd ruined it all.

Dan had no idea what to do. He couldn’t kick his friends off the farm telling them his girl wasn’t ok and needed him. Firstly Em wasn’t his girl, not to them. He’d said over and over that they were friends and she was visiting. Nobody truly believed him, but it was the official story. He couldn’t make them leave but his brain was screaming that he needed to go to Em right then. Something was wrong and he needed to fix it. He needed to make sure she was ok. But all he could do was wait and yawn.

"You alright, DR?” One of the guys asked him.

“Yeah, just exhausted. Nightmare of a season if I’m honest. Looking forward to next year! Maybe I’m getting too old now I’m turning 30?” It was a half joke that got a laugh from the assembled guests. Fortunately they took it for what it was and started making their excuses to leave. An hour later he watched the last people leave as he waved. Once those lights were gone from the driveway he ran back to the house as quickly as he could get in.

His heart broke as he opened the bedroom door to find the empty room in complete darkness. When he switched the light on it was even worse, Em’s belongings still there. Her pillow, the blanket she loved, her Snorlax plushie he’d brought her back from Japan, even her Kindle. Only her water bottle and the book she was reading were gone.

It was a punch in the gut to realise the only other room she could be in was his least used guest room. The fact that Emmy thought she needed to stay in another room felt wrong. His room was their room. He’d made sure to decorate it to be similar to their room in London, parcels arriving to the farm the week before they arrived. The fairy lights, the purple curtains, the scented candles, the extra soft sheets and bed linen to make her smile. It was all for them. It was to make Emmy happy and feel like she was at home because in the back of his head there was a hope that it could be their home in the future. Dan had thought it was working, but now it felt like it was falling apart.

It took a few seconds for Dan to get the courage together to knock on the spare room door. He was scared Emmy would tell him to leave, would tell him to go away. But instead there was silence. He knocked again but the same lack of answer was the response so he decided to go in.

The room was in absolute darkness apart from the faint moonlight coming through the window. It was enough that Dan could make out Em resting on the bed, blankets up to her chin. All Dan wanted to do was get into bed with her, to spoon against her and hold her close, but he knew she wouldn’t like that. So instead he walked around to her side and knelt in front of her, stroking a lock of hair falling over her cheek. He didn’t know if she was in the mood for hugs, didn’t know if she wanted anyone, so he didn’t want to do too much. He saw how her eyes were closed and could feel her damp skin under his thumb. Em’s breathing was too even, she wasn’t really asleep.

“Emmy? I know you’re awake Baby girl.” It took a moment for her eyes to open as she looked up at him.

“I was tryna sleep.”

“I know. But why aren’t you in bed?”

“I am.” Her words were short. “This is a bed.”

“It’s not our bed, Beautiful.” She was at least looking at him, but something still wasn’t right. “C’mon back to bed.”

“I’m fine, D. Go on, it’s fine.”

“It’s not fine. You’ve been crying.” She looked like she was about to start crying again, Dan holding her hand and running his thumb along the back of it.

“I’m fine, Dan. I’m fine. I’m just tired, it’s been a long day. Go to bed.”

“Not without you.” He watched as her gaze softened slightly and he just wanted to kiss her to make her smile. “Can I like down here with you and give you a hug?”

“You don’t have to, Dan. We can just go to sleep.”

“But I want to. If you want me to.”

“…That’d be nice.” It took a few seconds for Em to respond and Dan was terrified she’d say no. He’d accept it, but he wouldn’t like it. He got in behind her, pulling Em against his chest. Her whole body was tense as he turned her around so they were in their usual sleeping position. She began to relax as his hand rubbed her back, Em’s head finally resting against his chest.

“You know, Snorlax is all alone in the other room. And our bed is way comfier than this one.” He kept his hand moving as she tensed up again, looking into Dan’s eyes.

“I’m too tired to move.”

“Nobody said you have to move. Trust me?” There was a nod and he pulled her over to the other side of the bed before stepping out. It was easy to pick her up and carry her out to their room, carefully depositing her back in their bed before he got in beside her. “See? Back where we belong and without you needing to move a single one of your cute toes. And back with your fluffy friend.”

It was quiet between them for a few moments, something Dan mostly expected. Whenever Em got like this she always went quiet while she thought. Finally he heard her bare whisper.

“I’m sorry I ruined your night.”

“You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. You didn’t ruin anything, you never could. I’m sorry I invited everyone around and had them all invading your space. I shouldn’t have.”

“Dan.” She leaned up and kissed his jaw to make him smile. “It’s your house and your friends, of course you should have. It’s fine.”

“No it’s not. I should have done it differently, we should have gone somewhere else. And believe me when I tell you that you can’t ruin anything. Even if you tried to ruin something you couldn’t.”

“You’re too nice to me.” The hollow way she said it broke a little part of Dan’s heart.

“Emmy I promise. Everyone should be nice to you because you deserve it. You deserve happiness and goodness. And a whole lot of cuddles.”

“Will you cuddle me?” He couldn’t help but hold her even closer at her request.

Dan had no idea which lucky star was looking out for them but it felt like there was a whole constellation instead of just one star. He knew Em wouldn’t do it but he was ready for her to kick him out of the room. Instead he was so damn lucky that he got to hold her while she dozed asleep. He didn’t have the guts to try to explain the comment she’d overheard, he wasn’t going to push his luck, but at least he got to hold her. They could keep going from there.

—

Em couldn’t remember when she actually fell asleep. She was positive that she wouldn’t sleep at all that night, but Dan’s arms around her and his heartbeat under her ear was the best sleeping pill to ever exist. She didn’t know how he did it but he always managed to make her drift off. Even on the worst nights when her brain wouldn’t shut up he did it.

She woke up too early, the sun barely rising and illuminating the room through the blinds. She shot awake at the realisation that Dan wasn’t against her back anymore. At some point in the night she moved from Dan spooning her to her turning around and cuddling into him like she always did. Her face was buried against Dan’s chest, his arms holding her tight, and their legs tangled between each other. She raised her head slightly, Dan grumbling at her moving, and kissed his chest before going back to sleep with him.

The next time she woke up it was full morning. The sun was coming in through slits in the blinds and felt completely opposite to her emotions. She was so exhausted. Em had cried herself to exhaustion, her anxiety and nerves filling her. All she wanted to do was curl up in bed with her book and preferably with Dan cuddling her. But she was so tired she barely even noticed Dan kissing her shoulder and gently leaving her in bed. He was probably just going to the bathroom before coming back to the warmth and cuddle her.

She must have dozed off, she had no idea how long he was gone for, but she woke up to kisses on her cheek and the scratch of his off season stubble against her skin. The smile on her face was automatic. Waking up that way was one of her favourite things in the world, kisses from the man she was falling for were the best feeling and she wouldn’t change it for anything in the universe.Without even thinking Em hugged him back, almost forgetting the words from the evening before. After a horrible night all she needed was Danny. Em just wanted her human weighted blanket over her.

“I made breakfast,” Dan whispered, lips still glued to her skin. “I’ve got your coffee and toast and that jam you like. Figured you wouldn’t want to get up so it’s here whenever you want it.::

“Huh? You didn’t have to do that.” She looked up at him with disbelieving wide eyes. How could he get up to make breakfast and bring it into her after everything that happened? He did it more often than not when they were in England, but she didn’t think he’d do it that morning.

“You always say that, and I always say I do it because I wanna. Are we gonna have this conversation again?”

“No, not really. Thanks for doing it anyway.” She caught him in a kiss but as she went to move he didn’t let her.

“Don’t thank me. Especially considering it’s gonna get cold cause I’m too comfy to move.”

“Dan…”

“Five minutes.”

Like every morning when Dan asked for five minutes in bed with her, those five turned into ten, then fifteen, and then she lost count. It started with kisses against Em’s neck and her hands running along his shoulders and back. But it ended with their clothes somewhere on the floor, fingers laced and moaning each other’s name. Coffee could be reheated, toast could be eaten cold or remade. But none of it mattered when Dan was inside her, whispering how good she felt and how she was the best girl, giving her another reminder that it was still them. Inside the walls of their bedroom it was always going to be them. If that was all she was going to get, it was going to have to be enough. Dan’s groans and gasps helped silence Em’s ghosts for a little while so she took advantage.

The rest of the day involved Dan looking after her while they had a lazy day. A few small excuses, a rescheduled afternoon with his family blamed on hangovers, and they decided to either stay in the bed or on the couch and do nothing. Dan insisted it was payback for the mess of the night before. Em didn’t particularly care about his reasons as long as she was by his side.

It was how they spent their days in Perth, mostly glued to each others sides except for if Dan was going to Michael to start working on a training plan or see his friends. She started to get used to being a part of his life in Australia. Dan made sure that none of the events were at the farm, always at a restaurant or bar unless it was just his family. Every single time they went anywhere Dan whispered in her ear before they went in that she was the one in charge. Say a word and they’d be on the way home. She was trying to fit into his life just like he was trying to keep her safe, and Em couldn’t thank him enough for it.

She was starting to get used to Perth, relaxing more as she spent more time there. But as Christmas got closer she lost her chill. Two days before Christmas she went through the clothes she’d brought with her and none of them were good enough for an event. She had no idea what a Ricciardo Christmas involved, but none of her outfits were right. She had some cute summer dresses, but they were normal everyday things. She’d wear them to the beach or to lunch or maybe even to dinner with Dan’s friends, but not for a proper day. There was nothing formal like what she’d wear to her family’s Christmas dinners that met her mother’s approval.

Em knew Dan would say she looked good in anything she wore, but she was terrified. All she wanted was for them to like her. The idea that Dan’s family might not like her was scary, and she needed to make sure that she was perfect. She couldn’t ruin it over clothing. Em had hidden most of the anxiety she had around being good enough for them but that night it was too much. Her stomach was in knots and she kept fidgeting in bed. The same page was read over and over, but she had no idea what it said. She pretended it was fine until Dan kissed her cheek, pulling her book from her hands as she jumped.

“Emmy what’s wrong?”

“Huh?” She shook her head and looked over at him.

“You haven’t turned the page in like fifteen minutes, you jumped when I kissed your cheek, and your feet keep moving. You’re overthinking. So talk to me, what’s going on?”

“What if they don’t like me? I didn’t bring anything proper to wear because you kept saying it was hot and I don’t look proper. I should have brought something proper with me.”

“If who doesn’t like you?” The concern in his voice made her want to melt.

“Your family, Dan.”

“Emmy…Baby you know they lo-like you already. Mum’s the one who invited you. Isaac absolutely loves you and is obsessed with you, ‘Chelle made a joke that you’re gonna have to have him on your lap when we’re eating. You can wear any of the dresses you’ve been wearing. You look phenomenal in them. I’m gonna wear shorts so you’ll be fine. What’s this about?” Her head spun. Shorts? At Christmas? No no no. What?

“Huh? Not a suit? Or at least trousers and a shirt? You’re wearing shorts?”

“I’m not wearing a fucking suit, it’s summer. It’s way too warm to do that.”

“Oh.”

“We can head out tomorrow, find a new dress for you if you want. But if you want my opinion you should wear that little red one you have, it’s cute. You look good in all your summer dresses, but red is kinda Christmassy, right?”

“But it’s a summer one?”

“And it’s probably gonna be like thirty. What’s wrong with that?”

Her head was filled with the reminder of the year before, of her mother’s glare at the heels Em made herself wear because if she didn’t she’d barely be allowed into the party. But they were only Primark so they weren’t good enough. And she didn’t have many presents for Dan’s family and

“Emmy. What’s up? Talk to me.”

“It’s stupid. But if I didn’t have changes for the different parts of Christmas Day and if I wasn’t wearing a formal dress and heels and men weren’t in suits then it wasn’t acceptable. Plus I only have little presents not proper gifts, I don’t know what to do.”

“Calm down. It’s ok. All you need to do is turn up as yourself, that’s it. We’re having a barbecue and hanging out by the pool cause it’s way too hot for anything else, I promise. We’ll be in swimwear most of the time.”

The next morning Em was still half convinced she should try to have something proper to wear, but Dan convinced her there was no need. If she wanted to go shopping he’d drive her in and help her choose, but she didn’t have to. She didn’t need to do it so his family would like her, they’d like her anyway. Instead it was a morning of soft kisses on the couch to convince her but Em agreed to wear the red dress Dan liked so much. It had a shallow v neck, was knee length, and the fabric had a white floral pattern. Dan insisted it looked wonderful with the soft tan she’d picked up since they got into the country. Pairing it with black slip on sandals meant she’d be ok. She’d look fine.

Which led her to the freak out of how could she appear at Joe and Grace’s home to stay a few nights without bringing anything as a thank you? She couldn’t do that. So they stood in the Cole’s checkout queue for far too long on the 23rd as Dan watched her pick out her baking ingredients. By that evening there was a berry tart and a three layer chocolate cake packaged up in the fridge awaiting delivery with them. It was entirely stress baking, even Dan knew it. But he didn’t make any comments. Instead he sat on the kitchen counter and watched, stealing strawberries and taste testing her concoctions.

Christmas Eve morning arrived and Em wasn’t as nervous as she thought she’d be. The full day of Dan talking to her about how it was going to be alright and everyone was looking forward to see her had helped. There were still nerves, but she was going to spend a couple of nights with people who wanted her there, wear cute clothes, and she had host presents to give as a thanks for being invited. Really she couldn’t wait.

Plus Dan had made it his personal job to make sure that she was completely relaxed that moaning. It started with slow morning sex, Em waking up to kisses along her shoulder and wandering hands. After that a shower for the two of them and waffles with her leftover berries for breakfast really helped, Em fully relaxed. She double checked that the presents were all perfectly wrapped and packed to go, and after lunch she decided to finally start getting ready for heading over.

Dan was sitting on the side of the bed switching between watching her put makeup on and fiddling with his phone. She knew she wanted to look mostly natural but she put a red lip on to go with her dress. She was put together and ready to go. She could do this. It was going to be good. As soon as she opened her lipstick up Dan spoke.

“You know red’s a risky colour when you consider I’m definitely stealing kisses under the mistletoe.”

“The package says it’s kiss proof. You’ll be fine stealing a peck.”

“Ah my sweet, innocent Emmy. You thinkI’m gonna steal just one little peck?” He grinned and kissed her briefly but filthily, tongue slipping between her lips as Em kissed him back.

“That’s the last one, your entire family will be around.”

“And?”

“And that means your family and kids. So no.”

“We’ll find somewhere, you’re not gonna make me go a full day without a kiss.” He pursed his lips at her but Em ignored them, focusing on making sure her liner was perfect and her lipstick matched it.

“You know you’re ridiculous, right?” It was supposed to be a joke, but he got the look on his face that she knew meant he’d done something.

“Talking about ridiculous, actually-“

“Daniel what did you do?” He went to his side of the wardrobe, pulling out a red glittery box from behind some bedsheets.

“Before you say anything, I did nothing. It was all Santa. Not me.” He handed Em the box and she looked up at him carefully. They’d agreed that he wasn’t getting her a present this year because he’d paid for her flights to Austin and Perth. She never wanted him to ever think that she was friends with him because of his money. None of it mattered to her.

“Dan we said.”

“I know. But it was Santa. And he couldn’t give this to you in front of everyone so it had to be now.”

“What have you done?”

She opened the box he’d handed her carefully, lifting the lid and pulling back two layers of tissue paper to reveal the gifts. The main one was some of the most beautiful lingerie she’d ever seen in her life. It was sage green and lacy, the fabric soft against her finger. The corset wasn’t a proper one, not boned but she knew it’d look amazing. A pair of stockings at the bottom of the box made her realise how perfect it would be.

“It’s nothing. I just wanted—“

“Oh this is pretty. This is really, really pretty.” She lifted the underwear out to let the lace catch the light, admiring the design through it.

“You like it??” Dan sounded nervous.

“I really like it. I mean, I could wear it Boxing Day when we get b…what’s this?” As she moved tissue paper a smaller box she hadn’t realised was there hit off her fingers. Em picked it up and looked at the sleek silver lettering. For her pleasure. When she opened the box there was a light lavender vibrator in the black box. A charging cable was neatly beside it along with a dust bag.

“Look if you don’t wanna use it, it’s fine. If you want to pretend that you never saw it and throw it away, that’s completely fine. But we were talking and you said you’d never tried one, so I thought why not? It could be an option for you.”

Em’s cheeks were on fire as she realised that Dan was doing it for her. She’d barely made it through the awkward conversation when he’d asked her what she liked in bed. It was impossible to explain how bad her sex life had been before him. She’d never thought it was, but the way he acted when she said it was ok for him to not worry about her orgasms had soon taught her the opposite. She still remembered the way Gregory looked at her when she said she wasn’t enjoying their sex life. Now she knew he’d been with Millie that entire time when he insisted she was enjoying herself.

She forced herself out of her thoughts, staring at Dan. He looked worried and she forced a smile. His face relaxed when he realised she was ok.

“Will you use it with me?” She felt like her body was about to rip apart from shakes and nerves as she got the words out but Dan’s grin made it worth it.

“Absolutely. We can do it right now.”

“We have to go to your parents, so when we get back. And thank you. But Dan you didn’t have to. I don’t need presents, you paid for my flights. That was enough.”

“I mean I think it’s technically more for us than just you, so it’s fine. Right?” She grinned at him and leaned against his shoulder for a moment before getting up.

“Get dressed or you’ll be late.” Em started to fix her makeup as Dan looked at her.

“Can I watch you get dressed first?”

“No touching, but you can.”

“You’re killing me here, woman!” It hurt to not just sit in his lap and kiss him but they were already starting to be late. She couldn’t be late for a visit that involved staying over.

As a little nod to his request, Em slicked on a light pink lipstick instead of the red one she planned on wearing before putting on her red dress. The no touching rule was ignored the second she moved past Dan. Instead he squeezed her butt and kissed her neck before going to get changed. As promised he was casual, one of his party shirts, a pair of shorts, and Vans. Effortlessly handsome as normal and Em was jealous of how good his slightly longer curls and stubble looked.

If she was honest to herself all she wanted to do was take her dress off, get rid of the stupidly expensive shirt he was wearing and spend the day kissing him. Ask him to use the new toy sitting in the box. But they couldn’t. They needed to get going. When they were about to head out the door Dan decided to steal a kiss. It was supposed to be just one final one, but it turned into two. Then three. Then Em was pinned against the wall, hands running through Dan’s hair as his hands gripped her hips and waist. She pushed her lips to wherever she could reach, kissing up the bridge of his nose and along his cheeks.

Em would never admit it in a month of Sundays to him, but it was the right decision to not wear the red lipstick. Her whole face would be red. They needed to go. Get in the car and leave, but he was addictive. It was one of the things she adored about him and sometimes hated, how hard he was to leave behind. Every time they said it was the last one there was just one more.

She knew they wouldn’t be able to do this for another two days. The plan was to stay with Grace and Joe for Christmas Eve and Day, so they could be around all the family for the festivities before coming back on Boxing Day. Which meant no touching or kissing, and she couldn’t say no to the last make out session for 48 whole hours. She giggled at Dan’s expression as he moved away, Em using her thumb to clean the sheen of lipstick from his lip.

The one thing she didn’t expect was Dan grabbing her hand when they walked to his truck, and holding it again in between shifting gears while he was driving. It had never been a thing for them until they arrived in Perth. They’d been grocery shopping and picking up last minute presents in a crowded supermarket, everyone out to prepare for the season. Out of the blue there were fingers linking hers, Dan holding her hand while they walked through the aisles. His fingers interlaced with hers until they got to the checkout, and then went back as they walked back to the truck.

Grabbing someone’s hand for a moment in a crowded place was fine. Friends did that in busy places so they didn’t lose each other, especially when one of them was new to a place. You don’t lace your fingers with them. And Em couldn’t bring herself to let it go while she tried to ignore the size difference or how good it felt.

She really did try not to think about it, but it was impossible while his thumb rubbed lazy circles against her skin. He was soft and warm and his long fingers were one of her favourite things in the world. Sitting in the car then she could admit it to herself, she loved him. She loved the way he made her feel about herself almost as much as she loved him. And then the playlist flipped over and a grin spread across her face while she heard the opening fiddle strains of Our Song.

Em didn’t even need to say anything. All she did was look over as Dan was intently staring at the road with a grin on his face to know he did it deliberately. He’d learned pretty early on that a surefire way to cheer her up was to put Taylor on. Em could still never thank him enough for that night in Philadelphia when they’d gotten to see Our Song live without the band. It had been magical. Dan started to sing along with his exaggerated accent to make her giggle. There was nobody else for her, all she could focus on was being happy. The nerves, the worry faded away as she sung with hi, and collapsed into giggles when they finished. Em sang it looking over at him, watching how he grinned and shimmied in his seat as they drove the road back to the city instead of staying out at the countryside. All she wanted was to kiss him silly and start her Christmas Day sharing a bed with him. It’d still be worth it, but it was weird.

She may not have gotten a Christmas Eve kiss from her favourite member of the family, but Isaac wouldn’t let her go and kept kissing her cheek. He insisted on sitting next to her at dinner, Dan on Em’s other side. Dan casually ran his hand along her thigh under the table cloth as they all ate. She joked and laughed along with everyone, getting Isaac to eat his veggies thanks to the joy of stealing from Auntie Emmy’s plate and not even realising what was happening.

The best part about the meal was nobody judged her for her plate of food. Everyone else was eating the Feast of the Seven Fishes, plates piled with seafood that she didn’t particularly enjoy. Instead Grace had handed her a plain one, with pasta and sauce and cheese. She smiled when she got it, getting a “enjoy”.

There was no pressure on Em to try new things. The serving platters were spread on the table for people to take what they liked. If she wanted something and it looked good to her she could have it. If she liked it, great. If not Dan was happy to eat off her plate. Once they started talking and sharing drinks she couldn’t remember why she was so nervous. She knew the Ricciardo’s. She’d spent days with them, relaxing and watching Dan race. This was just another dinner like the ones they’d had before, except here they had a celebration as an excuse.

When dessert came around Grace brought out Em’s cake and tart, placing them in the centre of the table.

“Em made these, so I’m saving the pav for tomorrow. I hadn’t put it together and these are fresh!” Grace announced as she handed out bowls, Joe cutting into the cake first and showing the layers. It was congratulations and compliments towards Em, Isaac grinning as he ate his tart. It felt strange to get complimented for what she’d done by people. Usually she stayed quiet and in the background because she didn’t want to speak too loudly.

Even with the worry that someone would ask questions Em could feel herself relaxing beside Dan. He had his arm resting on the back of her chair, hugging around her shoulders like it was nothing. She wanted to move away but she couldn’t, Isaac on her lap before she lifted him and carried him into the living room for Christmas Eve presents. They settled in on the sofa, Isaac waking up a bit more and looking around.

Em wasn’t expecting anything. They’d welcomed her into their home, offered her somewhere to stay and it was more than she thought. But as stockings were handed out Joe offered one over to her.

“Everyone gets a stocking. We guessed on the pjs, apologies if they’re too big.” She smiled as she opened it, Isaac handed back to Michelle so Em could open it. Inside was new shorts pjs with red and black checkers, shampoo and conditioner, and a mixture of sweets. There was also a new notebook and a smooth writing pen. She couldn’t believe it. It was presents chosen specifically for her. The tiny little gold E in the bottom right corner of the notebook cover proved that for her. It was the middle of summer, she was in Australia for Christmas, and there was a group of people together who genuinely liked each other and somehow liked her. It didn’t feel real.

As midnight hit it was hugs and congratulations, everyone heading towards their rooms as they were shooed away with the promise that Santa was on his way so everyone had to go to bed. For the first time in far too long she didn’t have to suppress a shudder as someone who wasn’t Dan hugged her, smiling at Grace and Joe and returning the hug. Michelle and her husband got a one armed one that she gave willingly. It felt magical. And it wasn’t weird that the biggest hug was from Dan. She wouldn’t kiss him in front of everyone, but once everyone was going to bed he followed her into the guest room she was staying in.

“Two hands or the hug doesn’t count, right?” Em asked as he pulled her into a hug. His head leaned against hers and Em pushed her head into the spot where his neck and shoulder met. Alone she was able to run her hands along his warm back, pulling him close as Dan nodded and squeezed her waist. “That’s my huggy boy.”

As he hugged she didn’t want to let go, holding onto him in the privacy. Dan pushed kisses to the top of her head and her shoulder as much as he could. Em was just glad to have him there. He made things easier for her. She’d come with him and been so nervous but it was easy with him. Terrifying, but easy. She looked up at him and saw the smile, reaching up on her toes to kiss him.

The smile on Dan’s face as he realised what was going on and what she was doing would sustain Em forever. He was contagiously happy as they kissed, and Em was so close to telling him everything. But for the first time in years she was going to have a good Christmas and she couldn’t say no. She couldn’t ruin that on herself. So she held onto him as he kissed the top of her head and pretended everything was fine. She could do it.

“You need to go back,” Em whispered, afraid of breaking the spell between them.

“Can I stay here?”

“You need to go. What if your parents find out?”

“It’ll be fine. I’ll go back to my room early in the morning. Please?” She couldn’t resist him and he knew that.

“Fine.” It was one more kiss before she went to get her pjs on. They were curled up in bed and Em heard him barely whisper.

“Merry Christmas, Emmy.”

“Merry Christmas, Dimples. Thanks for inviting me tonight,” she murmured before pushing a kiss to his shoulder and cuddling in to sleep.

“Any time, Wrinkles. It’s gonna be the first of many.”

-

Taglist

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[luellasplanet]

opposite’s attract. (aggie beever-jones)

word count: 1.9k

i think i changed the tense in this about ten times so let’s ignore that shall we x

aggie and y/n were never ever seen without each other. the duo were so similar yet so different. people often wondered how they became such good friends and later on girlfriends.

aggie was always with the boys at lunch time, jumping in the mud and leaves, creating an absolute mess of her uniform and overall being a total pain to the teachers, who were always shouting at her to behave herself.

whereas y/n was softer spoken than aggie, rather preferring to sit under the trees during lunch and talk about what she was going to do at netball later on that day or preferring to have her head stuck in a book and her head in the clouds.

the duo met on one random thursday in year three, aggie watched on from behind one of the trees as y/n gave into one of the year sevens who wanted her lunch. passing along the sandwich and chocolate bar with ease. the girls were easily a good half a foot taller than the year three so they towered over poor y/n.

from that day forward aggie vowed to be y/n’s knight in slightly muddy armour, always keeping an eye on her at lunch if she was by herself. forever standing up for y/n if someone was bullying her.

21 DECEMBER 2014

“aggie no! you wouldn’t!” the shorter girl was currently being pinned down to the bed as aggie threatened to pour the glass of water on her.

aggie was insistent that y/n had to be her defender for her in the garden, so that she could practise her shots. it was pissing down with rain and there was simply not a chance in hell that y/n would be getting sick this close to christmas.

y/n’s screaming and laughter had alerted aggie’s mother as she peered into the doorway. “aggie get off poor y/n right now.” the woman always had a soft spot for y/n, she was practically her third child after all.

grumbling under her breath, aggie flopped to the side and off of y/n, placing the glass down next to her. “dinner will be ready in five! come and set the table please.”

despite their differences in the sport they liked what the two had in common however, was their shared love for food. the duo raced down the stairs eager to eat supper.

after a more than filling meal and a very intense game of footsie under the table, tiredness starting to settle into their systems, a movie in front of the fireplace was just what was needed.

the four beever-jones’ and the honorary beever-jones all settled underneath various blankets and cushions on the two couches and love seat.

fire crackling softly, lighting the entire room is a soft orange hue while an old christmas movie played on the tv.

19 MAY 2017

today should’ve been one of the best days in y/n’s netball career, but instead after arriving at the wrong netball courts, then her team losing three out of four matches and her not being able to shoot more than five goals into the net, she was simply done with everyone and everything.

not a single word was spoken in the car on the way back to the y/l/n house, the only thing that could be heard was the soft buzz of the radio and the sound of other cars on the highway.

there was simply nothing anyone could say to make her feel better. seven months of training, for the biggest u14 netball competition, down the drain in a couple of hours was the most soul crushing experience for a fourteen year old.

the orange and pink uniform was digging into her shoulders and the seventh place certificate was placed haphazardly on the seat next to her.

y/n’s older brother tried to make a small joke but seeing the glint in her eyes he shut up immediately as he didn’t want to upset his sister even more.

the car ride was half an hour but it felt like an eternity. time didn’t feel real for y/n as she exited the car and grabbed her bag from the trunk.

taking refuge in her room when she got home, all she wanted right now was to have a nap and suddenly realise this was all a sick dream and she would wake up and all would be fine. but it wasn’t a sick dream it was a reality that she would have to face sooner or later.

loud footsteps could be heard from the staircase before her room door was roughly shoved open. “there’s my favourite netball star!” the sob that followed shortly after erased the smile from aggie’s face very quickly.

clearly no one had told her how the tournament had gone.

one look at y/n’s tear stained face and wobbly lip was the only thing that aggie needed to see before she dropped her sleepover bag on the floor and jumped onto the bed next to y/n.

“i messed up everything aggie, i’ve never seen my coach so upset with me in her entire life! i couldn’t even shoot properly and i kept getting blown for contact and stepping and-” aggie’s soothing hand on her back quickly stopped your rants. although your words were muffled because your face was smothered by the fluffy pillows, she could still make out how upset you were.

“oh y/n/n, i’m sure no one is upset with you, it’s only one tournament. i’m sure no one will remember this in a few months.” an idea struck to mind and with a teasing smile plastered on her face, aggie whispered to y/n “and besides you’ve been so busy crying you haven’t even noticed i’m sitting on your bed in my sweaty and muddy footy clothes!”

your head shot up immediately to notice that aggie was indeed sitting on your bed in her football clothes. it was tradition every saturday the two had a sleepover, rotating every week who’s house they would sleep at. “agh go shower you dickhead.”

placing a hand on her heart aggie placed a faux look of hurt on her face “you wound me y/n/n, you really do.” before getting up and going to the bathroom. where of course you had already laid out a fresh towel for aggie to use.

30 DECEMBER 2019

you had long grown out of her timid phase and was now the confident young woman your parents always told you she had to be.

your sixteenth birthday party was hopefully going to be the highlight of the entire christmas break, well besides christmas itself.

a rooftop party where none of your siblings would be present and no parents in sight sounded like the perfect idea to get a little drunk. (spoiler it wasn’t a little)

music blared out of the speaker, the base from the speakers sent shivers up everyone’s spines as they all mindlessly danced. after maybe four too many shots and a whole lot of encouragement from some out of school friends, y/n found herself in between a whole lot of sweaty bodies swaying and jumping to the music.

“i’m just heading to the bathroom quickly, i don’t feel too good.” you said to no one in particular before rushing off the dance floor and into the bathroom. the music in there was much softer and more calming, which helped with the upcoming headache forming behind your eyes.

barely managing to run into the nearest bathroom stall, back slumped against the wall as your hands gripped the porcelain toilet seat. trying to control your breathing and gain back the ability to see straight.

“y/n open the bloody door, right now!” aggie’s urgent voice and fist rattling hard against the wooden door increased the banging sensation in your head. blindly reaching up towards the lock of the door, you barely managed to turn the lock in order to let aggie into the small bathroom stall.

muttering a few curse words under her breath, aggie let herself into the bathroom before closing and locking the door behind her. bending down to your eye level. “who are you? i’m not sure my girlfriend would like it if she knew i was in a bathroom stall with a stranger you know…” y/n’s vision was blurred so she couldn’t quite see that it was her so called ‘girlfriend’ next to her.

“your girlfriend mm, now who would that be?” teasing tone very evident in aggie’s voice, but of course that completely washed over y/n’s head as another wave of nausea hit.

even with your head over the toilet seat and tears prickling in the corner of your eyes you still managed to mutter out how much you loved aggie and how extremely mad your dad would be if he saw you like this.

but of course this small interaction between the two of you would not be remembered in the morning, or how you had made it home in one piece after the night's events.

you didn’t remember how aggie had to keep her arm tightly around you as the two of you walked (stumbled) across the pebble stone sidewalk, how aggie’s jacket was draped over your shoulders and most of all when aggie dropped you off at your front door. the lingering kiss that you left on the corner of aggie’s mouth which sent butterflies into the blonde’s stomach.

CURRENT DAY

all those little memories were often reminisced at family dinners with both beever-jones and y/l/n family members present.

or in hushed conversations as the sunlight started to set on the bustling city of london, soft conversations about anything new or old as the room slowly began to lighten. rustling of freshly washed sheets and quiet laughter, before feet padding against the wooden floors and music could be heard.

the sounds of the frying pan sizzling with butter and the shower being turned on full blast.

y/n and aggie worked in perfect harmony, knowing each other's schedules like the back of their hands. you were fortunate enough to have an extra twenty minutes at home before you had to leave. which meant that you assisted aggie’s getting ready.

making sure the blonde had her protein shake prepped and ready, as well as making sure that her kit bag was clean and organised.

it was simply the little things that y/n did for aggie that meant the most to her. aggie would always press a lingering kiss to your lips before leaving the apartment, never forgetting to say “bye, i love you, see you later!” before she left.

then when the two of you got home later that evening, after giving the house a bit of TLC and aggie preparing dinner for them both. you would both settle down on the couch with a fluffy blanket draped over your legs.

a movie or series on in the background as the light from the tv, light the room in a soft hue of different colours. although the routine may seem boring and tedious to some, aggie and y/n wouldn’t have changed anything for the world.

the random saturday night dates, shopping on a wednesday or thursday, offering to pet sit y/n’s brother’s dogs when he was out of town and even the late night walks hand in hand to whatever destination their legs took them.

simply just y/n and aggie against the world, forever and always.

[alovesreading]

Chicken Shop Date | Part 4 |

By @imagine-that-100 and @alovesreading

Description of Part 1: Matty Healy x Reader (Female) | You and your best friend Amelia came up with a very simple idea of taking celebrities on awkward chicken shop dates, and somehow, it’s managed to become both of your jobs. In the past, you’ve found sitting across from some of the biggest stars on the planet and eating chicken nuggets easy. But then Amelia manages to score you a date with the man who you’ve been obsessed with since you were nineteen; Matty Healy.

Word Count: 18.7k

A/N: What better way to celebrate George’s birthday than a cute little Chicken Shop Date chapter! Me and @imagine-that-100 are so beyond excited to finally share this one with you lot, it’s such a wholesome one!!! We were giggling, blushing and kicking our feet writing it so we hope you love it! We absolutely love your reactions so please don’t be shy to share them with us, we’ve seen your love for this little story on here and on twitter and it makes us so giddy that you share our excitement over it. Hope you enjoy this one and thanks so much for reading! xx

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

| N’s Masterlist | A’s Masterlist |

~*~*~*~ December 25th ~*~*~*~

Christmas time never fails to fill you up with joy as you get to reunite with your family and just laugh, catch up and shower everyone with gifts, but you are completely sure it doesn’t come close to the way your heart swells up every time you get a new notification saying that you’ve got a message from Matty.

It all started when you woke up to a text of his that said, Why is sleeping at your parents home always so much better? x which made you cackle loudly.

Finding a way to twist his words to tease him, you text him back a quick, Is that a dig at my bed? You can stay on my settee then next time bitch xoxoxoxox

No, you can’t banish me to the settee again xx Matty fights back in a matter of seconds and continues to add, I simply refuse xx but what has you raising your eyebrows in surprise is when he finishes by saying, And call me a bitch again and I’ll have you on your knees apologising for it xxx

Biting your bottom lip, you type, Is that a threat or a promise? and shortly after that’s sent, you add a cheeky, … bitch x knowing just what that would mean.

He acted like he wasn’t impressed, and you could just picture his face as he sent, Wow, really? At 10am? xx

Hilarious you think that’d stop me xx You bite back and to add more fuel to the fire, you send him a petty, Plus you started it xxx to remind him it’s all his fault.

You clearly have forgotten his effect on you because your mind starts to wonder places it shouldn’t at this hour and you’re only brought back to reality when your Mum knocks on your door to tell you to come downstairs for breakfast.

Your family and the reminder of the plans for the rest of the week engrossed you enough to completely miss Matty’s text that he sent a little after your texting was interrupted.

It was time stamped an hour ago and it said, Thinking back to this, I shouldn't be surprised... and the whole spitting thing? x

The last bit has you frowning because you’re sure you’ve not told him about any of your preferences in that aspect. So you send him back a text that’s basically you playing dumb on it, Spitting thing?

Eagerly waiting for a response, you almost jump in your seat when ten minutes later he says, Is our date really not memorable to you at all? Ouch, I demand an apology.

Giggling at his dramatic ways, you continue to play dumb on it by saying, It is memorable but what are you talking about?

You can almost picture him rolling his eyes at you and sighing and you’re left hanging for a response for a couple of minutes until he comes back with the link to a video and a time stamp.

Clicking on it, you’re brought to your date and when you skip to the minute he’s instructed you to, you realise what he means.

The exact moment plays when you say, “And Amelia didn’t like the spit on the camera.” to which he answered, “Only Amelia didn’t like it? So you enjoyed it?” and right after you hear yourself answer with a, “Maybe.” you go back to your conversation with your cheeks heating up.

He added a, If that's not a spitting kink confession, idk what is baby x right after he sent the video and you have a quick think on how to conceal that.

How’d you know that wasn’t just a bit for the video? You try to play with him since you actually wanted to keep him guessing.

But he surprises you when he says, I can watch it back and tell exactly when you’re telling the truth now baby, you’re like an open book x And whilst you’re trying to gather yourself again after melting over that, he sends another text that has you burning up head to toe. This just assures us we’ll have proper fun later baby, so it’s a win really xx

So does this mean you’re into that… You almost hate how shy the text sounds but you’re once again completely overcome by the way he makes you feel.

Are the shows not proof enough? Comes through from him and his smirk comes to the forefront of your mind, completely sure he’s smirking at his screen after having sent that.

Trying to play it cool, you reply with, I think they only spark more questions x

You have to hold back a screech when he sends, Lucky for you baby, I have loads of answers xx

And this time, as you decide to go for a breather after it all, you give him exactly what he’s giving you back. I’d ask for a list but I sorta wanna work them out on the job xx

It was a mistake from you to not expect him to have a comeback to that so you choke on your spit when he says, You gonna get your hands dirty and find out? xx

But you’re fully determined to leave him breathless so with your self control clouded by your filthiest thoughts, you reply, Hands, chest, face, mouth… The list goes on xx

Fucking hell… If you had been on a call then you would’ve died at the groan he let out reading that, Baby why do you have to be so far away? x

On the other hand you are giggling away as your tummy flutters from his reaction and you continue teasing him to keep him on his toes. Alright control yourself, it’s only 2pm x

It bites you back when he sends, You’re a little brat, aren’t you? which has your heart going faster at the thought of hearing him say that to your face.

Hmm call me that again xx Your inhibitions are out of the picture at this point but he is making you go insane with such little effort. It was unfair really.

And what? He texts back, daring you to finish your statement.

But you don’t give him the pleasure of knowing, You’ll find out about that soon enough xx Now be good and go on celebrating baby Jesus’ birthday x.

As opposed to adult Jesus’ birthday? He answers to take the piss out of your wording, Also need I remind you I’m a raging atheist?x

You cackle out loud at the reminder of that Genius interview and you just can’t not send him a screenshot of the exact moment along with, Oh no need to remind me when this exists (I can hear that image) x

Matty knows just how to get you, though, because you’re blushing slightly embarrassed when he says, Obsessed much? You must’ve had that saved cause that was too quick x

You’d love that wouldn’t you? X You quickly reply not letting him get the pleasure of your silence so you’re the one to end the conversation with a bit more teasing, Go play with your new toys Matthew, talk to you in a bit xx

Even though you truly had wanted to text Matty again soon after that conversation took place, you’d gotten carried away around your family and it wasn’t until later in the evening that you’re able to sit down with a cup of tea beside you to talk with him.

You would’ve loved to continue teasing him through text but you want to see his face now so you decide to FaceTime him.

With the biggest grin on your face, you start the video call with a loud, “Merry Christmas!” as soon as he picks up and you can’t even find it in yourself to care how overly chipper you sound as you greet him.

“Merry Christmas baby!” Matty matches your enthusiasm and he’s beaming at you, he finds you glowing under the warm lights that come from the Christmas decorations around your parents home. “Have you had a nice day?” He asks with a soft look on his face, it was a joke how much he found himself to be missing you after he stayed at yours before you went away.

“Yeah it's been really good, how's your day been?” You’d rather hear him talk about his day since yours had been fairly normal, like any other Christmas.

“Yeah busy. So much family, so many questions.” Matty almost rolls his eyes, annoyed at the situation but now he’s escaped to his room for a bit and he gets to see you, he’s happy. But he pouts as he says, “Barely got to text you, but it’ll be more chill over the next few days.”

Pressing your lips together, you try to hide the big grin that wants to break on your face and you shake your head in amusement, “It's okay, my family have been keeping me busy too. I was forced into the kitchen, reason being I'm always eating too much fast food on my dates so my Grandma was making me cook.”

A smile tugs at the corner of his lips and he tilts his head to the side to ask, “She thinks you only eat chicken nuggets?”

Aware of how ridiculous that sounds, you chuckle “I think so.” And you’re about to say something else when you’re distracted by how adorable he looks with his messy curls, tired eyes and that soft smile of his. “You look cute by the way.”

Matty’s eyes crinkle at the corners when his smile gets bigger at your compliment, “Thanks baby, you do too.”

Right then you could only hope it was dark enough for him not to notice your cheeks tinting red. “What did you get for Christmas?” You switch the topic when you see the shadow of a smirk forming on his face.

“Got this nice cardigan that Mum had made for me.” He lifts one of his arms up to show the sleeves of the clothing piece and you can’t help but be in awe at the pretty pattern of it and how soft it looks.

“Looks very cosy.” You compliment effortlessly, wishing you could cuddle him at that very moment.

But then he lifts himself up more to show what he’s wearing under it, “Not as cosy as my hoodie.”

“Oh my god,” You giggle, “As if you have it on still.”

“Of course I do.” Matty assures with a slight frown to pretend like the prospect of not having it on still was ridiculous, “Best present I got, baby.”

Shaking your head in disagreement, you state, “I'm going out tomorrow to buy you something better.”

“No, don’t” He warns you sternly, “I’ll be fuming if you do.”

But you don’t listen to him, rolling your eyes you go against his wishes, “You can be fuming all you want, I've got something in mind that I think you'll like so I'll be getting it you, no arguments. I’m just sorry I didn't get it before.”

He pouts hearing you apologise for it, “You really don't have to get me anything.” Doing his best puppy eyes for you to listen to him.

Yet that doesn’t work, it only makes you want to get it for him even more. “I want to, so absolutely nothing more on the subject until I hand it to you.”

“And when will that be?” His inquiry is purely in hopes to know how long until he sees you again and maybe it being before what you’ve arranged on the last day of the year.

“New Year's Eve?” You reply but it sounds like a question since you’re not sure exactly when you’ll be coming back home.

He deflates a little at the fact that he won’t be able to see you earlier so he says, “I get home the day before?” in the same tone as your previous answer, again hoping the information brings you to see each other before the already planned day.

But you bite your bottom lip as you remember the texts you had earlier in the day, “Are you being cheeky again?”

“Only if you’ll let me.” Matty’s signature smirk is directed at you once again and you’re screeching on the inside.

“I’m going to refrain, you know… I think we should let the tension build.” Is your polite way of admitting that you could absolutely not be in bed with him and not fuck his lights out if he wanted to stay with you again.

He scoffs out a laugh, “Let the tension build or you can't trust yourself to keep your hands off me.”

“Okay, absolutely no need to call me out like that.” You point out in warning and then remind him in a simple way that it wasn’t only you with the wandering hands, “And speak for yourself.”

He doesn’t let you pin it all down on him though as he bluntly recalls, “I think it was you that pushed me down on your bed, not the other way around.”

“Matthew,” You hear the very distinctive voice of Denise ring through the phone and you want to die when she shouts, “I don't want or need to know that.”

“Oh my god, no.” Your hand is instantly over your mouth and your cheeks flame at what she’s just heard Matty say.

You know he’s got AirPods in so she couldn’t hear you but the fact she’d just heard him say that you’d pushed her son down onto your bed makes you want to curl up into a ball and die. That was not how you wanted Denise’s first impression of you to go.

“Don’t eavesdrop on a conversation then, Mum.” Matty scorns, his eyes presumably on her to the right of him and not on his phone at all.

“Maybe just close your bedroom door so I can’t hear in future.” You can hear Denise backchat, but then she asks, “Who’s the lucky lady anyway?”

Immediately, you want to hide under your blanket. This can’t be the way you meet his Mum. It can’t be, you’ll never live it down.

“Not on Christmas,” Matty thankfully saves you. But it seems she’s persistent as Matty stands up and starts moving around his bedroom so she can’t see his phone. Him scolding her does make you giggle though, “No Mum, absolutely not.”

And you hear a little of her argument, but ultimately Matty just ends up saying, “Baby, I’ll phone you back shortly.”

“Okay,” You nod, and he’s gone in a panic before you even have the chance to get your goodbye out.

You wait for him to call back as you scroll through your phone and catch up with Amelia on what your families have been like so far. You’re giggling away as she tells you what her Aunt got everyone when Matty calls you back about 40 minutes later.

He smiles when he hears your giggles die down as you answer, “Sorry about that, she wouldn’t leave me alone and I promised I'd protect you.”

You shake your head, not agreeing on how he’s putting it. “I honestly love Denise, Matty, it wouldn’t bother me.”

He raises his eyebrows like he’s concerned over your naivety, “It would, you just don't know it yet.”

“You’re so nasty.” You scold him but you’re trying not to laugh at the situation.

But Matty can just picture so clearly what would happen if you met his mum right then and continues to warn you, “You won't be saying that when she doesn’t stop texting you. She tends to go a bit too overboard far too quickly.”

“Listen if you’ve not scared me off I doubt your Mum will.” You take the opportunity to tease him and it makes you chuckle when he rolls his eyes at your antics.

“Yeah, sure. You keep telling yourself that.” His fake annoyance makes your laughter continue and you see how he can’t fight the smile that breaks out on his face.

Remembering how your conversation was cut short before, Matty asks, “What did you get off Dimz for Christmas?” wanting to hear more about your day.

“I don't know yet.” You sip on your tea, looking at the gifts you have for her untouched under your tree.

“How come?” Confusion written all over his face since he thought you were spending the day together too.

“We have our Christmas’ together tomorrow instead.” You start explaining, “We always want each other's reactions so we save our presents for each other for tomorrow.”

He grins knowing what this meant, “Perfect excuse to call again tomorrow and find out what you got.”

You melt inside at the way his face lights up at the prospect of another promised call, “You don’t have to have an excuse to phone me. Like even if you’re bored, it's fine. Me and Ames do it all the time.”

And you truly mean it. You would very much encourage it because the way that you feel every time he texts you is becoming your favourite thing.

“I'm afraid you’ll get tired of my voice.” Matty jokes to get a laugh out of you.

But his heart swells when you assure him, “If it's not happened in the past decade, I doubt it could happen now.”

He feels himself becoming more and more affected by the things you say so he plays it off like that was a boost of his ego and playfully says, “Obsessed!” He lets out a whistle exaggerating it all and your cheeks grow hot at his dramatic actions.

“You wish.” Is the only thing you can think of saying, aware that he has the advantage here with his knowledge of you.

And he proves just that when he smirks and backchats, “You’ve got a tattoo for one of my songs and a top exclusively stating that if anyone isn’t me, you’re not interested… So I don’t reckon I need to be wishing for anything, baby. It’s just facts.”

You sigh and roll your eyes, knowing this all was brought up to him by none other than your best friend, “I still want to kill Amelia for telling you that.” and you elect to not blame yourself for wearing said top to his gig a few weeks after he was told about it.

Matty just smirks at you through the phone, leaning closer when he says, “I have a feeling she has more to tell actually.”

Pressing your lips together you take half a second not to react to him because she knows far too much about you that you’re not entirely ready for Matty to know yet. He’s a big boy, he can find things out for himself.

“You better not even try to get her to speak.” You point a finger at him.

“Why?” Matty raises his eyebrows playfully, but there’s a suggestive tone to his voice when he asks, “What are you gonna do about it?”

You smirk back, not letting him affect you this time, you just flirt back, “It’ll end up poorly is all I’m saying.”

“Yeah whatever,” Matty narrows his eyes at you playfully, “I’m willing to bet your bedroom has at least one poster of me up on your wall.”

“Remind me to never FaceTime you in my bedroom whilst I’m here.” You allude to him being right without actually giving him confirmation and you make sure that he will never ever see your bedroom walls.

Matty laughs at that and the both of you fall into easy conversation. Him talking about his day and you both share lots of anecdotes about your friends and family.

Neither of you have it in you to stop grinning at the other, your laughter mixing together as more stories are shared which ends up in him promising to text Amelia so she can get him your funny childhood pictures you’ve just told him about. And it seems that the sole mention of her name was enough to summon her somehow.

A text from your best friend pops up at the top of your phone as you’re talking and your eyes go a little wide when you see, IF YOU'RE IGNORING ME BECAUSE YOU'RE ON THE PHONE TO YOUR MAN I'LL BE KEEPING YOUR CHRISTMAS PRESENTS WOMAN!!! LEAVING ME ON READ FOR AN HOUR! THERE'S ONLY ONE PERSON THAT’D MAKE YOU DO THAT!!! DON’T BECOME ONE OF THOSE GIRLS THAT GETS A MAN AND STARTS IGNORING THEIR BEST FRIENDS!!!!

“Oh Christ, she’s getting arsey I’m not texting her back. One second.” You swipe off FaceTime so Matty just appears in a small corner of your screen and you quickly tap on your iMessages.

“Don’t let your friendships die because of me.” Matty chuckles a little, knowing you well enough by now that you and Ameila love each other just as much as him and the guys love each other. Nothing on the planet could break you apart.

As Matty says that, you’re replying, Wow, calm your tits Dimz! Co-dependent much?!?!

“I was doing shots with her at one this morning, she can chill out.” As you send the text off, you shake your head a little, faking annoyance and tell Matty, “She’s coming round here tomorrow too, so she needs to calm down.”

“I’ll tell her to stop interrupting us if you want?” He can already imagine Amelia’s reaction to him telling her to leave you two alone and the way he could play it so she would freak out. “No don’t because that will open up another can of worms that I can't close.” You reply with a sigh, knowing she’d make such a big thing out of one single comment from him that would leave you to clean up the mess for weeks afterwards.

That sparks curiosity in him again, having the very brief knowledge about her incessant interrogation after what had happened yesterday. “She stopped questioning you about yesterday?”

You sigh a little before explaining, “Not for the whole ride home and she outed me to her Mum which was more embarrassing.” and you will your cheeks not to burn in response to you actually telling him this.

“Did you tell her what happened?” Matty can’t help but smirk when he asks you that.

At the same time, Amelia's reply comes through and it has you wanting to throw your phone and scream, Don’t be getting cocky with me now because you’ll be getting to reenact one of those smut scenes you used to read about religiously in a few days time x

“Yes,” You answer his question with a small faintly embarrassed smile, “And she still thinks I’m not telling her everything.” It makes the both of you chuckle, but then you remember what her Mum said and you tell him, “Linda thinks I was serious about being in my slut era.”

Not rising to her games, you just respond, Goodnight Amelia x and close the app before opening Matty back up to be your full screen, and you smile seeing his big grin at what you just said.

“Only for me I hope.” He says and your smile is switched for pursed lips and narrowed eyes.

And as he says that, you see another message come through at the top of your phone that reads, Stay grounded Y/N xxx and you can practically hear her laughing from your house. The little bitch.

You hate that she holds so much power over you. All you need is for her to not tell Matty how fucking crazy you once were until after your date on New Years. You’re so close, you can’t let her fuck it now.

You roll your eyes before you’re directing all your attention back to the man who loves teasing you. “And you can keep hoping.” You state with a forced blank face, trying to appear serious.

But he scoffs loudly and rolls his eyes at you, “As if you aren’t.” And he steals your refutation from your mouth when he adds, “Do I need to bring my previous arguments back?”

Your silence is loud as you bite your tongue remembering all that he knows and what he could find out so you just give up and settle for a defeated “No.”

Winning this has a triumphant smile glowing on his face and you wish you could be stronger and not give him the satisfaction of it causing your own smile. Matty hums and then finishes by saying, “That’s what I thought.” And even when you roll your eyes at him, your smile doesn’t falter, neither does your erratic heartbeat.

Matty Healy really is going to be the death of you.

~*~*~*~ December 26th ~*~*~*~

Just like he had promised he would do, Matty calls you the following day a few hours after Amelia left to go back to her parents. You’d once again been texting Matty all morning, so he knew when was best to FaceTime you, and as soon as he was able to escape from his family again, it was the first thing he did.

“What did you get off Dimz?” He eventually asks after greeting each other. Having thought about it for quite a bit now and the curiosity is eating away at him.

And it only gets worse when you instantly reply with, “I don't want to talk about it.”

“What’s that meant to mean?” He’s taken aback by your point blank refusal to answer a simple question, and he can only think it means Amelia has caused some trouble so his curiosity grows stronger by the second.

Your defeated sigh makes him glow in anticipation of the answer, “Let’s just say the presents were themed and you will never ever see them.”

“Oh my god, tell me what you got right now.” Matty can’t take you being vague with him now because it only makes him more eager to find out.

Seeing your face, he knows you’re keeping your ground so before you even have said “Nope.” his camera pauses for a few seconds and you know he’s minimised your Facetime call to go somewhere else and by the way you can see the camera slightly shake, you ask, “Who are you texting?”

“Your best mate.” He states bluntly, almost done with his text.

The second you hear that fall from his lips, you let out a loud, “No!” as your blood runs cold and your heart drops.

Matty shrugs, sending the text without caring about your reaction, “Too late.”

And he finds you so adorable when you huff and cross your arms in annoyance. You can only say, “I hope you get lost in her dms.” since it’s exactly what you’re hoping to happen so that it saves you some great embarrassment.

“Please,” Matty waves you off, “I’m on her close friend's story.”

Once he tells you that, your heart drops once more. “No, please tell me you’re not.”

“Oh I am.” He smirks as he nods his head, very satisfied by the content he’s gotten to see from both of you. “I’ve seen you drunkenly dancing to my songs baby. Please continue with those moves for me more often.” You know exactly what he means and it makes you have to hide behind your hands as your cheeks start burning up.

But then he makes it even worse for you when he cheekily adds, “Preferably when I’m there and you’re pressed against me.”

You have no idea how you don’t scream out loud at that because you certainly just hear a deafening scream inside you. Taking a deep breath, you let your hands fall from your face and you try your hardest to appear unaffected by his words. “Maybe if you stop pushing my buttons you’ll get some of that on a lucky day.”

It isn’t necessarily an empty promise because in all honesty you would absolutely love that, but you know it’ll be a guessing game to know when the chance for that to happen will appear.

He salutes like he’s just received orders from a general and then proceeds to ask, “What did you get Amelia?” with the fakest innocence as he’s now trying to play good boy.

You shake your head at him first, but then tell him, “Aitch merch.” and both of you burst out laughing. Eventually you end up telling him that you got her a lot more than some shit Aitch merch but that was the funniest thing you got her.

An hour after the subject moved on and you completely forgot about the curly haired singer trying to see what presents you got from your best friend, Matty takes you by surprise when he excitedly gasps, “Now that is the sexiest blanket in the world.”

“Nooooo,” Your eyes go wide immediately, not even needing context about what he’s clearly just seen because you just know.

Amelia’s Christmas presents… All you can think is, Kill me now.

You’re so embarrassed as you complain, “You’re not meant to see it! How have you found it?!”

He lets out a cackle first before he finally answers, “She sent it to me but she's just put it on her story too and tagged us.”

“No!” You throw a small hissy fit as you open Instagram to check the damage. And when you see the picture she took of you proudly holding up your new blanket with a big goofy smile on your face, you yell, “The little bitch.”

You want to die because this new blanket Amelia got you, wasn’t just any regular blanket. This one has the picture of you and Matty standing beside each other, with you in your Robbers girl get up, after your chicken shop date, and it's huge. Yes you absolutely love it, but you did not want Matty to see it.

“That’s fucking amazing,” He continues to laugh and though you love hearing his chuckles, you’re too mortified to properly appreciate them. “Why didn’t I think of that?”

You frown at him like he’s lacking all forms of critical thinking, “Because you’re not a fucking psycho like she is.”

“I can see you absolutely love it from these pictures, do not lie to me.” Matty defends Amelia then, and it’s just the best set scenario because he can just continue to take the piss out of you. “That's probably the best present you’ve ever received.”

Whilst he is correct, apart from the fact he bought you presents himself so they will hold a very special place in your heart forever, you don’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that.

“Oh right ‘cause it’s you?” You roll your eyes at him playfully as your sarcasm is painfully obvious in your tone.

But Matty doesn’t let it faze him because he says, “Anything to do with me it’s always the best baby, you should know this already.” with the most smug expression on his face.

Looking at him with an eyebrow raised, you answer with, “I wonder how you can walk around with such a big head.”

You should’ve expected him to be funny as he says, “I wobble a little sometimes but yeah it’s alright, thanks for asking.”

Fully having to swallow your laugh and bite the inside of your cheek to keep your stern face, you simply sigh, “I hate you.”

And it becomes another sigh when he smirks at you and replies, “Well, baby, I doubt that.”

~*~*~*~ December 27th ~*~*~*~

“Hey baby.” Matty greets you with a big smile on that cheeky face of his.

You grin, “Hey Matty.” and you want to silently scream at how good he looks today.

He looks well rested and really bright and happy. His curls are unruly, just how you like them and already you want to silently scream where he can’t see you because he looks so fucking fine.

No one should be looking so good at almost 1pm the day after boxing day. The 27th is a day to do fuck all. All you’ve done today so far is make breakfast for your family and wrap the present you went out and got Matty yesterday.

“What are you up to today?” Matty asks you and you give him the boring answer of answering your emails for upcoming work events and more celebrities you have to research before the Golden Globes.

But before you have to do that, you want to speak to him, so after you finish explaining your process, you ask him, “What are you up to anyway? Have you had a change in scenery?”

You’re sure he has. It doesn’t look like his childhood bedroom that you’ve come to know when he gave you a little room tour.

“Yeah,” Matty nods, smiling at the fact you could tell, and he spins himself around so his background changes behind him as he’s explaining, “We’re somewhere in the Peak District in this house that Mum rented out for Lincoln's birthday today. Big family meal later, chefs coming in and everything.”

“That sounds like so much fun.” You can imagine how big and stunning the house might be.

He shrugs, knowing already what it’s like to have these family events and how he does enjoy them but he half wishes you were there with him. The one thing keeping him from saying it out loud is how he knows if you were there you’d be suffocated with questions.

“Hope so, but until about an hour before I’m gunna be bored as fuck and you told me to call when I’m bored so here I am bothering you again.” Matty ends up saying with a soft smile on his face, hoping to see on your face that you’re just as excited to always be talking to him like he is.

Frowning slightly you correct him, “I’m literally doing fuck all you’re not bothering me.”

That has his smile growing bigger and as he settles on his bed, getting comfortable to continue speaking to you, he asks, “What have you been up to?”

“Other than what I already told you, I’ve been really lazy and napped after I had breakfast.” A little embarrassed smile shows on your face, still a bit shy when being so open and honest to him about simple things like that.

You don’t think you’ll ever be over the fact that he said he would listen to a podcast if you were the one talking, you’d like to think that comment on your date was real, and with the way he acts you’re certain it was sincere. You’re still breathless over the fact that he’s always so attentive when listening to you talk about your pretty tame days compared to what his days look like as a musician.

And right then Matty reminds you just why, despite it all, he makes you forget everything to just focus on the way he makes you feel. “Wrapped in your new blanket?” He teases you with that smirk of his and your cheeks instantly heat up.

Trying not to smile at his satisfaction from getting you blushy again, you roll your eyes and reply, “I’m going to need you to stop referencing it please and thank you.”

Matty hums like he’s thinking about it, lips pressed and brows furrowed for a few seconds, only for it all to turn back into a smirk when he finally says, “Never.”

Your facetime ends up turning into just keeping each other company, with the conversation never really dying out. Yes there were quiet minutes throughout the call, when you were typing out an important email or Matty was reading something or other that he didn’t want to bother you with.

But you found yourselves aimlessly chatting, with time passing you by far too quickly for either of you to notice. You were googling various actors and directors who were going to be in attendance at the Golden Globes and making notes on them and because Matty was curious, he made you tell him everything that you’d found on them. He wanted your opinions on what you’d seen and if you thought they were any good or not.

Both of you laughed when Andrew Garfield was mentioned and you told him straight up that you weren’t doing any research on him because you practically knew it all. You’ve seen his new show Under The Banner Of Heaven so you didn’t really have to do much more fact finding on him as he was certainly one of your and Amelia’s favourite actors.

That in itself though, sparked Matty’s curiosity about if you put this much effort into researching your chicken shop dates, and then the inevitable question of ‘did you research me?’ to which you found your cheeks burning when you admitted to him that you didn’t have to do any for him or the band. As Matty’s smirk grew, you’re sure his ego did too and you tried your best to get back to your work as he continued teasing you for it.

Matty kept you entertained by going back to your research and adding some of his knowledge about the people you were googling about. Films that he’d liked from certain directors or intricate facts about their careers and how they got to where they are now, some actors small roles when they were younger or parts they had auditioned for and didn’t get.

Once again, speaking to the curly haired man is the easiest thing in the world. So much so, that you don’t realise just how long you’ve been talking to him until your phone pops up with the alert that you only have 20% battery remaining. And knowing it was near enough fully charged before the call started made you look at the time and you gasped when you saw it was 5:47pm.

Matty questions you on your shocked expression, wondering what had you gasping, but then it’s him who has the same reaction as you ask almost rhetorically, “How the fuck has five hours passed?”

“You’re kidding?” His jaw drops and he taps the screen to check the time on his own phone and he’s genuinely just as surprised to see you were right.

Talking to you felt like no time at all. If Matty had to guess he would have taken a shot in the dark that you two had been talking for a little over an hour and a half but no more than that.

But now he looks out of the bedroom window and sees it's dark and he realises that he’s got to be downstairs in the next 10 minutes before his Mum will undoubtedly come and shout at him for not being punctual.

“Fucking hell,” Matty gasps, immediately putting his propping the phone up against the wall of the desk he was sitting at before he starts scrambling about, “I was meant to get changed before dinner.”

Despite your best efforts, when you see him pull his top over his head revealing his chest you pretend like it doesn’t make your heart stutter for a second. Immediately flustered, especially when his next move is to walk around to the suitcase on his bed and unbuckle his jeans and drop them, leaving him in just his black Calvins.

You try and fail to keep your eyes solely on your laptop instead of your phone, but as Matty is pulling on his black dress trousers, he’s smirking back at you trying to act unbothered when you so clearly are.

The curly haired man teases, “You’re entertaining trying to not look at your phone right now.”

To try and save some embarrassment at being called out, you just admit, “I’m just trying to be a decent human being.”

“Leave your morals elsewhere because I very much enjoy your eyes on me baby.” Is what you hear next and if that’s not a green light you don't know what is.

However, that does not mean that you’re okay when you look back at your phone to see him picking out his white shirt and shrugging it on, his chest still on display, and his new tattoo standing out even more to you.

You can feel just how hot your cheeks have gone with this view you have though, and the fact you were caught out makes your embarrassment worse, but you sort of embrace it as you let yourself shamelessly watch him button up his shirt.

At the same time, you ask him with mortification clear in your voice, “Will there ever be a day where you don’t make my cheeks burn?”

It’s not like it’s even your fault at this point. He just looks so good and he’s confident in the most casual way about flaunting his attractiveness off to you. His slutty little waist that becomes defined when he tucks his shirt in, not to mention the way those trousers hug that peachy arse of his.

You need it to be New Years Eve stat. You don’t know how much longer you can take.

“Not if I can help it.” Matty smirks at you getting closer, making you blush again when he winks at you. And after he chuckles at you hiding behind your hand for a moment, he sees that he really has to head down, so he announces, “I've gotta run baby. I’ll message you though.”

“No, just go and enjoy your night.” You tell him, not wanting him to be on his phone when he should be spending time with his family. Smiling, you say, “I hope the food is good.”

“Thank you, I'm sure it will be.” Matty grins and then blows you a kiss before waving, “See ya later baby.”

“Bye Matty.” You grin, catching his kiss before blowing one back at him.

Both of you end the call with massive smiles on your faces and hearts beating a lot faster than they should be.

~*~*~*~ December 28th ~*~*~*~

It’s a few minutes past 1am and you feel like you’re back in school since you’re still doing your research on the endless list of people from the film industry that’ll be attending the event.

After you’d ended your call with Matty earlier you had wanted to go back into it but your thoughts had distracted you and you had needed to go on your phone to aimlessly scroll so your brain would shut up.

After that, Amelia had given you a call just so you could update each other on how you were going about it and sharing the information you had so far on everyone. Though that had ended up on Amelia finding out you still had a third of people to properly look through and she gave you a playful scolding for ‘letting your man distract you from work’.

You’re almost done now, only two people left and since you’re really tired you decide to put everything away and get ready to go to bed, deciding to finish the last two early in the morning tomorrow. After you come back from the bathroom with your fingers cold from the freezing water, you practically throw yourself on bed and get under the covers the quickest you could.

Forcing your eyes to close so you could get to sleep faster ends up being interrupted by your phone vibrating next to you where it's placed on the bedside table.

Frowning, you fully think it’s Amelia again but you find it so weird she’d call this late considering how she is about her early sleep schedule when she’s not out. But once you turn your phone around to see who it is, you’re met with a facetime from Matty coming through.

Answering rather quickly, “Baby?” is the first thing he says in a loud whisper as if he was trying not to make noise but failing.

“Hey Matty.” Your voice sounds hoarse from how long you’ve not spoken as you’ve been keeping quiet for everyone sleeping at your parents’ house.

That’s when Matty realises you’re snuggled up in bed already and so his eyes widen and a worried expression appears on his face. “Did I wake you up? Shit sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up.”

You chuckle at the way he’s slurring his words, and now seeing how pink his cheeks are, you can tell he’s drunk. “It's fine, don't worry I’m just being a Grandma and going to sleep early.”

“Hottest fucking Grandma in the world if you’re calling yourself that.” He states with such conviction, it has you wanting to screech into your pillows.

You’re so glad it's dark in your room so he can’t see the way you get all embarrassed. You hide into your pillow a little more but you distract him anyway by asking, “How was your night?”

“Was fucking mental baby,” Matty tells you as he puts his phone down so he can still see you, and he starts unbuttoning his shirt as he explains, “These chefs started singing and it was like a full on opera… I’m so confused as to who actually cooked the meal for us because I really dont think it was them two now.”

Your eyes wander a little as he finishes undoing his shirt, “That sounds like so much fun.”

His smile turns into a pout as he takes his shirt off and tosses it somewhere behind him. “It would have been so much more fun if you were here too.” Right after he says that, he’s grabbing his phone and plopping himself down on the bed.

You grin as he rests his elbow on the bed and his chin on his hand, “You're cute, but I bet you had a great time with your family.”

“You would have loved it. Food was amazing,” Matty’s mouth water a little reminiscing about how good it all was but when his eyes are drawn back to your face–which he can barely see–, his chest tightens thinking about just how much he wants to see you again.

So in his drunk state, he confesses, “I miss you baby… so much.”

And you can’t hide from him the fact that you feel the exact same way, so you reply with an honest, “I miss you too.”

“Is that weird to say?” He asks out but before you can even assure him that it isn’t, he continues his ramble, “I hope it's not, I just really like you and I've not felt so myself around someone in a long time. You make it easy baby, I really miss you.”

You are melting hearing him so easily say that and it has you pinching yourself to make sure you aren’t dreaming.

The feeling is reciprocated and you make sure to tell him just that, “It's not weird to say at all. I feel the same, not felt as comfortable as I do around you with anyone new for a long time.”

Matty has the biggest smile on his face after you say that, his insides coating with this warmth he’s not felt in a while and as his eyes close from how big his grin is, he continues with his sincere words, “I really like you.”

Biting your lip, you feel your stomach doing somersaults, “I really like you too.”

“I just wish you were here. I wish I was cuddling you again. You keep me warm. Helps me sleep.” He admits it all, and it’s especially that last bit that has your heart growing in size because you’ve not heard that he has trouble finding sleep lately.

You’re sure if you try to give him a cohesive answer, you’ll fail so you go straight for a little joke so you can calm yourself down at least for a few seconds. “Maybe you should have got yourself a heated blanket.”

But Matty makes it so hard to collect yourself when he rolls over on his back and you see him shaking his head, “No, I’d rather have you.”

The way his curls fall messily over the pillow, and how pretty he looks as his face softens from his exhaustion, has you wishing so hard that you were there beside him and that time would go faster just so it could be New Years and you could have him all to yourself again.

“Me and my heated blanket?” You joke once again with a little smirk on your face that he can’t really see from how dark it is and the way his eyes keep closing against his will.

“Might consider if it was your better blanket.” Matty smirks and forces his eyes open to see your reaction, which ends up being a little giggle, “You know, the one with me all over.”

“Of course you do.” You reply with your smile still unwavering on your face.

In his drunken mind he gets the tiniest bit defensive then, “I’m better than that blanket though.”

And you give him the pleasure of agreeing with him, “Yeah, I prefer the real deal.” It’s not even a burden to admit that because you would take cuddling him over anything, any day.

Matty can’t stop his giggles and his grin grows bigger at your answer. “I'm so excited for New Years. I can't wait to take you out.”

It really is all he can think about, counting down the days wasn’t enough anymore and with the way he always keeps his eyes on the hours ticking by, knowing it was an hour closer he’d be in your company again. He’s at the point now where he’s eagerly awaiting a text back from you all the time, hoping it's you calling him and not someone else.

And hearing you say, “I'm excited too.” makes him happier than he’ll ever admit.

You’re just smiling so brightly at him and he can see it dimly lit by your phone, “I think you’re gorgeous you know?” Copying your position, he lays on his side and snuggles his pillow, “I really do. You’re hot as fuck but you’re also really gorgeous.”

You have to move your phone for a second, aiming the camera to the ceiling just so you can silently scream into your pillow and thanks to his hazy mind, he misses the few seconds it takes you to let it out.

“Thank you Matty.” You finally say after you’ve brought your phone back where he can see your face.

“See? Look at you!” The brightness of your phone lit up your face and Matty found it so fucking adorable seeing you with your cheek pressed against the pillow and your messy hair, tucked in with the covers up to your chin and that grin of yours he was growing obsessed with.

“I wish I could kiss you right now.” He confesses with a sigh, making your heart beat erratically in your chest.

“Matty…” Is all that you can mutter in almost a whine as if you’re pleading for mercy on your heart.

But he doesn’t stop and when he continues saying, “What? I really enjoy kissing that pretty face of yours.” You just hide your face into your pillow, needing to at least have a break of how he’s looking at you because you can only take so much.

“No, don’t hide.” He quietly complains, making you turn back to see him on your screen and you’re about to laugh at his frown but the second he catches a glimpse of your face again, he says, “There we go.” and you’re back being an utter mess.

Your free hand covers your face that’s burning up at every little thing he keeps saying and it’s your turn now to complain about it all, “It’s so unfair!”

It almost sounds like you’re throwing a fit and he finds that hilarious so he cackles before asking, “What’s unfair?”

There’s no reason for hiding anymore, not when you’ve both been admitting many things throughout the whole call. And you know he’s saying all this because of the alcohol making it easier for him to say this all out loud to her but you hope so much that you can hear him say all of it again when he’s sober.

So pouring a bit of your heart out you answer his question, “How easily you make me go like this.”

At this point you should really know that everything to come out his mouth will have you in shambles, because that’s exactly how you feel when he replies, “Well then it’s unfair for me too because I’m a proper mess for you baby.” And he gives you more to add to the list of things that will replay in your mind forever when he continues his confessions, “Think about you all the time.”

“I can’t.” You mumble instantly, everything sending you into a brief state of disbelief along with burning cheeks and a massive smile that won’t leave your face. You hide behind your hand once again and Matty giggles with a loopy smile, loving seeing you react to him like this, but his eyes keep closing from how tired he is.

It’s endearing watching him try and continue the conversation, and you answer him as you watch him try his best not to fall asleep on you. There's another few minutes of conversation before you get his attention again and his eyes reluctantly peel open.

“Yeah?” Matty asks, but when you see his eyes focus on his phone, your heart beats a little faster seeing the way he smiles in response to seeing you.

“You need to close your curtains and turn your big light off so you can go to sleep.” You tell him because at this rate he’s just going to fall asleep as he is.

Matty hums in response, knowing you’re right, but he also can’t help but tease, “You just want me to take my pants off.” because he realises he’s still half dressed.

And when you just stutter for a response, not expecting him to say that, Matty giggles a little and the noise makes you smile. “I love teasing you.” Matty says as he gets himself up, bringing you with him to draw the curtains.

“I know you do.” You smile, and the singer can tell you’re embarrassed by him admitting that. But he loves it when you say, “I’ll have to get you back soon.”

“You can tease me anytime you like, baby.” Matty grins as you watch as his screen descends into darkness accompanied by the noise of the light switch.

As your cheeks grow warmer, you also hear the sound of his trousers presumably being unzipped and the shuffle of him getting them off. But the camera eventually settles with just the faint glow of his phone on his pretty face which is snuggling into his pillow again.

“Come get in bed with me baby.” He tiredly mumbles, “I need a cuddle.”

“I’m there in spirit.” You tell him and you find it comical that the man that claims he doesn’t sleep well with no one beside him is once again almost asleep as soon as his head hits his pillow.

His eyes are closed again, and the more he talks the slower his words come which makes you smile. He’s clearly a tired boy and you’re tired yourself so you decide to call it a night.

You softly say, “Get some sleep Matty, yeah?”

“Okay baby.” Matty nods very slightly, his eyes still closed though. But he smiles as he says, “You too.”

“I will.” You assure him, your heart bursting during this whole interaction.

But it hits you a little more when after a beat of silence he repeats himself, “I miss you.”

“I miss you too.” Your chest is truly aching with all the feelings you have stored for him.

Despite him almost being asleep, he finds it in himself to tell you, “Imma call you again tomorrow so we can plan our date, okay?”

“Okay.” You nod, despite him not being able to see you.

The sincerity in his voice has you smiling too as he says, “I'm so excited for New Years.”

“Me too.” You grin.

“Night night baby, speak to you tomorrow.” Matty mumbles, his face fully pressed into his pillow now.

You take a few seconds to memorise the sight, before you softly say, “Goodnight Matty.” and end the call.

~*~*~*~

This morning you decided you would let Matty rest, as after a night drinking you usually want to stay in bed for the majority of the morning so you’ve left him to it. You wanted to text him wishing him good morning and that you hoped his head was okay after all the wine, but you didn’t want his phone to go off and disturb his sleep, so you left it.

Instead you busied yourself, you went out and did the food shopping for the family even though you were leaving in the next few days. Regardless, you went out and did it, and as you were half way through unpacking it all and putting it away into various cupboards, your phone starts vibrating and when you take it out of your pocket you see it’s Matty FaceTiming you.

“Morningggg!” You answer excitedly as the call connects and you prop your phone on the windowsill so he can see you.

Instantly you’re met with a loud groan, and when you look at your phone, you giggle seeing that Matty’s face is all scrunched up with his head still in his pillow.

“I’m far too hungover for you to be this chipper so early on.” Matty says as he turns his brightness down on his phone a little, his eyes being far too sensitive to your light setting. “I called because I thought you’d be half asleep like me.”

“I’m sorry baby, I’ve been out this morning.” You lean forward over the worktop so you can see him properly, and you grin seeing how cute and tired he is, “I'm ready for the day.”

You don’t realise you’ve even done it, but Matty grins at you when he asks, “Did you just call me baby?”

Knowing he was right and that you must have done it, you try to maintain some confidence instead of immediately shying away like you’re used to. You ask him with raised eyebrows, “Is that not allowed?”

“It’s allowed,” Matty nods, entirely amused yet he also really loves that you said it, “But I just didn’t expect it.”

You hum, letting yourself smile at him, but you change the subject, “How are you feeling?”

“Rough.” The curly haired brunette admits, “Had one too many glasses of wine.”

Even though you could tell that last night, you coo, “Aw no.” as you don’t want him feeling unwell.

Matty lets out a long sigh before he snuggles back into his pillow, he tells you, “I need a cuddle baby.”

“Wrap a blanket around yourself and consider me giving you one.”

“Not good enough, I need you in my arms.” He says as he pulls his duvet up around his shoulders and pouts at you.

You can’t stop smiling at him as you tell him, “If I could teleport, I’d be there in a heartbeat.”

It warms his heart immensely, but so does yours when he coos, “Need you.”

“Aw Matty,” You chest aches for him, you wish you could spend a full day cuddled beside him, it's a crime you can’t yet. “Don’t make me feel bad I can’t be there.”

The curly haired man chuckles a little, but he asks you, “Can you just take me about your day with you? Podcast me.”

And you’re really not going to argue with him. You chat a little as you put your shopping away, and you do it leisurely because you always find yourself looking back at him.

You both joke a little bit about the shit that you are doing and more boring plans for both of your days, but you’re not really surprised that after forty minutes or so Matty’s eyes have fallen shut. You only notice after you finish telling him a random story from your childhood, and you see that he’s doing the exact same thing as last night.

Even today, it's still just as endearing seeing him snuggled into his pillow, and it warms your heart that he feels comfortable enough to fall asleep around you. Once again, you take a mental picture of him like that, longing to be seeing him like this in person preferably with you in his arms again.

You watch him for another minute before you catch yourself and how odd it really is of you to do. All you can do is blame it on the mental turn of events that now somehow you get to see the man you’ve fancied since you were 19 on your phone falling asleep listening to your stories that he asked to hear.

Life is fucking crazy, but you’ve never been more grateful for everything thats happened for you to get here.

You whisper, “Sleep well Matty.” before you reluctantly end the call.

~*~*~*~

“Hi.” Matty shyly greets you when you pick up, you recognise he’s wearing his Chicken Shop Date hoodie, his curls look freshly washed and the visual makes you smile even harder.

“Heyyy!” You reply just as enthusiastically as you had earlier and it’s all because you’re really growing fond of these calls of yours and you think it’ll be a habit you’d really like to actually adopt and it not only being because you’re away for the holidays on the eve of your date.

He grins at your tone but it falters a bit when he says, “I’m so sorry I fell asleep on you.”

“Don’t apologise, it's fine. You were really tired, it's fine.” You assure it hadn’t been anything to apologise for, you actually are still thinking about how pretty he looked in his slumber, all calm and soft features. It had you asking time to run so you could see it next to you once more.

But he’s stubborn as he thinks it was rude of him to fall asleep when you were talking so he tries again, “It’s not fine, I apologise.”

You’re not having it so with a stern look on your face you simply say, “Matty.” to make him stop.

It’s a short-lived expression of yours because when he automatically replies, “Baby.” your cheeks start to burn and you have to look away.

Matty chuckles when he catches the way you roll your eyes and your hands come to press against your hot cheeks, “Really it just takes me calling you baby to get you all embarrassed?”

Shaking your head without looking at him, you only say, “No comment.” knowing that he already has an idea of that being a statement and there’s no need to ask about it.

A few seconds pass and your hands are still on your cheeks, only this time your hair has fallen over your face and he can’t properly see you, and he wants to see your face when he tells you about the news for your date on New Year's Day.

His voice is soft when he says, “Don’t hide baby.”

And you get flashbacks to the night before so, “Matty, not again.” leaves your lips subconsciously, once again with that subtle begging tone since you know that whenever he starts saying things like that your chest tightens in a way that you’re not sure is healthy.

“What do you mean again?” Matty frowns utterly confused, he doesn’t remember saying that earlier.

You pause for a second to see if he’s joking but seeing his face stay blank has you laughing. “Oh, you don’t remember all that you said last night?” You tease him about it, your brain already liking what this means.

“No.” He replies with a frown, wary of what he could’ve said for you to react like this.

“I mean, it wasn’t that bad.” You start saying, fighting hard against letting it show that you’re about to mess with him, taking the best out of this opportunity really. “Do you remember calling me a gilf?”

It hadn’t necessarily happened like that but referring to his hot grandma comment that way made his face contort in the funniest confused expression that made you almost burst out laughing.

“What the fuck no? Why would I call you a gilf?” Matty tries hard to think about any reason for him to call you that but he can’t come to any conclusions.

He wants to know the context but his curiosity is left unattended when you only shrug and say, “I don't know but you did.”

“Fucking hell.” He swears under his breath, scorning himself for being such a loose mouth when drunk.

Smirking, you continue the teasing recap, “Do you remember begging for a cuddle?”

“No but I'm not surprised, this room is freezing.” That one lets him find a bit of relief since it wasn’t weird and he hopes the rest of what he said stays the same.

But he’s laughed at by his past drunk self when you continue with, “What about how much you missed me?”

“Wow, I really play it cool when I’m drunk, don't I?” He chuckles a little but he focuses on the way you seem so satisfied remembering everything, like you actually liked hearing all of it and that is enough for him to feel settled about it all.

Until you decide to play with him a little.

“Wasn’t the half of it baby.” Your smirk grows, as the cogs in your brain turn and you finally think of something that could get the best reaction out of him, “You also said something about going through my Instagram… You know, for my pictures.”

His heart drops hearing you say that and you see him freeze like he’s been caught red handed, “I told you about that?!”

And it’s when his head goes into his hand that you’ve stumbled across something you never got a second imagined would be true.

You gasp loudly, “Oh my god! What?!” is all you can almost yell in disbelief and when you see him looking incredibly concerned about it all, you burst out laughing. “Matthew! You’re nasty!” You playfully scorn between loud cackles, you cannot believe he actually just admitted to that.

“Wait, what?!” He quickly says, not truly understanding why you’re reacting like this if he had said that the night before, “Didn’t you just say I said that?”

His eyes are wide and his jaw is hanging as he’s fully shocked, it all has you doubling over in laughter, truly incapable of catching your breath. “I was joking about that.” You clear up as you finally are able to calm down and then another cackle leaves you, knowing now you have something valuable to get him back whenever he tries to tease you.

You sigh, a smirk tugging at the corners of your lips, “Oh my fucking god.”

Matty’s hands are over his face again now, entirely embarrassed and he pleads, “Stopppp.” as his fingers drag down his cheeks.

But you’re absolutely loving this. “Oh this is so good to know.” You say excitedly.

“Why are you like this?” Matty sighs, his cheeks slowly getting more red and you’re absolutely loving every second.

“Can’t believe you just outed yourself like that,” You laugh, knowing that this fact that you’ve stumbled across is doing wonders for your ego, “You’re so easy, aren’t you?”

Matty pouts, “You’re being mean now.” as he tucks his curls behind his ear, something that you know by now he does when he’s a little nervous.

“If you think this is mean, you’ve seen nothing yet, big boy.” You tease, still smirking.

Matty grins and raises his eyebrows suggestively hearing you call him that, “You can call me that again.”

“Absolutely not.” You chuckle, but you keep the power you currently have over him when you state, “I’m curious now, though.”

“No you are not.” Matty shakes his head, knowing exactly what your next sentence is going to be.

“Yes,” You smirk, “And you’re gonna tell me what your favourite picture of mine is.”

“I’m not.” Matty shakes his head, trying not to show you his embarrassed smile and he can feel his face flame even more.

“Yes you are.” You demand, but he shakes his head again, so you plead, “Baby, please?”

How can he deny you when you call him baby and you’re just staring at him all doe eyed and eager. He embarrassingly admits, “The one at the Miu Miu party. Not you and Amelia, just the one of you.”

“Oh yes,” You smile, remembering what you were wearing and the picture you posted on Instagram fondly. You big yourself up, “I looked fucking hot in that mini skirt suit.”

“You certainly did, baby.” Matty smirks, agreeing with you after he unhides behind his hand and releases a long sigh.

“Right, wipe that smirk off your face because I want you embarrassed again.” You grin, not letting this go whilst his cheeks are still pink.

Matty puts on a brave face and acts unbothered now though, “Well I’m not anymore.”

“Sure you aren’t,” You tease him, “You’re sure you’re not embarrassed after you’ve just admitted to fucking your fist to my pictures?”

Phrasing it like that has Matty’s eyes jumping wide open. His dick twitches in response to your words and the various memories of him actually doing that whilst he was away on tour and the majority of this past week.

Matty says your name hoping it’ll make you stop, “Y/N.”

“Oh Y/N now is it?” You grin, finding him even more amusing now.

All he can do is sigh, and he looks straight at you as he admits, “You’re driving me insane.”

“I sure hope so.” You smile, enjoying every sweet second of his reaction, “Quite like this turn of events.”

Matty pleads, “Stop.”

“What?” You grin, acting all innocent, “I’m not saying anything.”

Matty runs his hand through his curls and sighs into the distance, as he can’t look directly at you for a few moments which amuses you further. And when he does look back at you, you love seeing him not be as cool and confident as you know he usually is with you.

“You’re never gonna let me live this down are you?” He asks you, and you hope that you’ll be able to draw this reaction out of him again sometime.

“Never.” You confirm, grinning like a fool, absolutely loving how sheepish he currently looks.

You understand why he likes doing this to you now.

“Can’t wait for you to see my Golden Globes dress.” You bite your lip loving the way his eyes seem to light up at the mere mention of it, but then roll back when you add, “Might ask for the thigh slit to be even higher.”

Matty lets out a groan of pleasure at the mere thought and the noise makes you press your thighs together. Thankfully the man can’t tell as his eyes are closed as he’s groaning, “You’re going to murder me.”

You chuckle a little at that and nod once he looks back at you. This might be the best news of your life.

Matty Healy has cum to the thought of you. Life goal achieved. Next goal is to make him cum in person, and hopefully he will return the favour so you can die a very very happy woman.

“What about the one where I'm in my GQ awards dress at the hotel?” You have to ask, because that is one of the others that you think he’d use. “Did you like that one?”

“Yeah, I liked those ones too.” Matty reluctantly admits, loving but hating the fact this has you all excited.

“Mhm, bet you did.” You tease him again, “Dirty boy.”

“Don’t start with that.” He sighs like it pains him to hear those words come from your mouth, but it’s a pain caused by not having you right there with him because a second later he’s smirking at you through the screen, “Are you trying to get me going?”

You match his smirk, your tummy fluttering at the way he’s looking at you, “Should I be?”

Matty continues teasing you so the previous conversation is dropped, smirking even more at the way you seem to be recoiling into yourself under his gaze, “Dunno, depends on which mood you’re in, baby.”

But you know what he’s trying to do, so you bring it all up over again, “I don’t think I really need to do much now, though. Can just show you my Instagram account from now on.”

He lets out a long sigh, his face completely falling after your words, “Oh you love knowing this, don’t you?”

To taunt him more, you nod eagerly with the biggest grin on your face, feeling triumphant really, “Absolutely. I have you right here.” You point at the palm of your hand, eyes narrowed playfully at him and nose slightly scrunched as if you’re taking the piss out of him.

All it takes for you to fold is him saying, “You sure do baby.” in such a sweet voice with the softest of smiles.

“Stop it.” You warn, pressing your lips together as you’re really holding back from reacting but you feel everything he says lighting up every nerve on your body.

Matty chuckles, his eyes still staring at you like it’s impossible for him to look somewhere else, “What?”

You roll your eyes at his attempt to appear innocent and you shake your head to say, “Just let me have my moment.”

“Right, sorry.” His hands are up as if he’s giving up yet a shit eating grin breaks on his face and his stare is so intense you have to look away.

You warn him before you even look back at your phone, “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” He tries to sound the most confused, “M’not doing anything.”

You point an accusing finger at him when you turn back, “You are! And you know exactly what it is.” He seems to grow even more amused at your reaction, making you sigh, “How have we gone from bullying you for getting off to my pictures to me not being able to look at you, fucking hell.”

He shrugs his shoulders, “I have that effect.”

“I don’t need you having a bigger ego, so stop it.” You try to make your statement serious but he can see straight through you and the way he’s got you right where he wanted.

“Do you really want me to stop though?” Matty plays with you, an eyebrow raised and you squirm in your seat in silence. He lets you sulk in the lack of words but when it gets longer than he expected, he just can’t hold back from teasing you even more, “Cat got your tongue?”

Keeping your stoic face the best that you can, you shake your head, “Just thinking of a way to shut you up.”

But your whole face falls when he replies, “If you were here baby, there’s loads of ways I would love for you to shut me up.”

His eyes scream mischief, and you cannot wait to find out what it is that he’s been thinking about and planning for weeks for your date that is so soon, you just can’t quite believe it, “Only two days now.” You bite your lip to conceal the massive smile that’s threatening to tug at the corner of your lips.

Yet you fail because seeing you smiling this big at him, has Matty matching it and his insides melt thinking about having you next to him once again, “Couldn’t go slower if you ask me.”

And you’re about to say how you feel the same way, like time is playing tricks on you when something seems to go off in his head and he continues, “Oh, that reminds me,” Matty smiles, “I have questions about New Year’s Eve?”

You raise your eyebrows curiously, and you lean forward giving him all your attention, “Go on.”

“So George and Charli are hosting their first party in their new house in the evening and I wondered if you wanted to go to that? And if you did, I still want to take you out so thought I could take you out to dinner earlier on and then we go to their party whenever.” Matty tells you but he also doesn’t want you to feel like you had to spend the night with other people when your original plan was to spend it with just him, “It’s honestly fine if you don't wanna go to theirs, I can take you out later on then, but if you did I will take you out earlier.”

You can see that the singer is rambling on for nothing though, because you nod, “I’m up for going to their party if they won't mind me coming.”

“They don't mind at all, George asked me to ask you.” Matty tells you, “He said Amelia can come too if she wants.”

And Matty is telling you the truth, when George asked him if he was coming, Matty point blank said no and that he was going on a date with you and then George told him to bring you with him afterwards. He said to invite Amelia too if she wasn’t already busy and Matty promised he would ask.

He’d been nervous about it though because he didn't want you to think that he was trying to get out of your date to go to his mates house. It was the complete opposite, he would rather spend the night with you, yet at the same time if you felt comfortable enough, he’d love for you to become friends with his friends too.

“I’ll ask her, thank you.” You smile, and clarify, “So we’re going out earlier?”

“Yeah,” Matty nods, and he suggests, “Maybe I could pick you up about four and we go out near you in Brixton somewhere? And you can stay at mine later when we get back from George’s?”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” You nod, trying not to smile like a fucking idiot.

You can feel your heart pounding in your chest at the mere thought. Never have you ever been more excited for a date, and you’ve been on a lot of them at this point.

“You ever been to The Laundry?” Matty asks, bringing you out of your thoughts.

Thinking about it for a moment, you remember the restaurant he’s talking about and nod, “I went in for drinks once last year I think. It’s nice.”

Matty smiles and raises his eyebrows curiously, “Would you let me take you there?”

As if he even needs to ask.

“I’d go to McDonalds with you, Matty.” You try and put it as plainly as possible how little you care about where it is you go. As long as you’re with him, you will have a great time, “I took you on a date in a Chicken Inn, anything is better.”

“Okay,” Matty chuckles, realising as well that it really doesn’t matter. He had fun on your last date and he knows that’s everything to do with you and not just the bit that the both of you were playing up to. So he smiles and nods, “I’ll book a table for like half four and then we can go to George’s afterwards. If that sounds okay with you?”

“Sounds perfect.” You bashfully grin, really letting yourself get excited about it now.

Matty grins right back, but it's more in reaction to your face in the corner of his screen as he’s putting in his details for the reservation that makes him pause. You look so fucking cute, he can’t help but tease you a tiny bit as he taps back onto the FaceTime so you take up his full screen again.

Matty asks, “What’s that smile for?”

At the risk of being cringe, you don’t hide your emotions from him this time. “I’m excited… I’m happy.” You shrug a little, feeling your cheeks heat up at the admission, but you ask, “Am I not allowed to smile?”

“Course you are.” Matty grins right back, and he takes a screenshot of how cute you look in this moment, before he ruins it by teasing you even more. “I just like knowing I'm the cause of it, baby.”

At this point, you drop your phone so he can’t see you anymore. You really just need to take a second to silently scream and not look all flustered in front of him.

You can hear him laugh and you silently scream into your hands for a moment before taking a deep breath and designing some composure. Matty laughs when you pick your phone up and you have your lips pressed together and you look all flustered.

Even more so when you whisper, “You’re going to be my cause of death.”

He teases you for a minute more until he goes back to finishing the reservation. You chat as he does it, and the both of you confirm the time of half 4 and then Matty books it.

Truly, you’ve never been so excited for a date. And Matty feels the exact same. Maybe it's because he’s never actually had to wait for a date this long, but also because he is genuinely so excited to be back in your company soon.

You spend the next half an hour talking about everything and nothing. But you do end up asking him about his plans, “What are you doing tomorrow?”

“We have to leave this house tomorrow, so I think because I’m not too far away from Sheffield imma go call and see Wheels and Alex,” Matty tells you, although he should probably text his best friend and ask if he can just gatecrash her day. The curly haired man explains, “I think they are up visiting her best friend and Alex’s family.”

“That sounds fun.” You smile, “You’ll have a great day.”

“I always do when I see her to be fair, she’s one of my best friends.” Matty smiles, “She’s a gem.”

You can’t help but think that’s pretty adorable of him. You’re aware she’s his ex-girlfriend, but she’s happily married to another legend and the way Matty still regards her so highly after so many years of not being together must mean she’s lovely.

And you’ve followed her for years, just like you had Matty, and you’ve always thought she was great. So there’s nothing stopping you from nodding and agreeing, “She seems it on her socials.”

Matty smiles hearing that, but he also gets a little excited when he realises and tells you, “You’ll meet her.”

“I will?” You raise your eyebrows questioningly.

“Yeah, I’m certain that she’s going to George and Charli’s.” Matty thinks out loud. “I’ll double check tomorrow.”

You hum in response to that, smiling and the thought just makes you even more excited for New Years. But you then get lost in your thoughts for a moment, wanting to know something but you don’t know whether you should ask or not.

After internally debating it for a few seconds, you just ask Matty, “Can I ask you a personal question?”

Matty nods, “Course you can.”

He has nothing to hide from you, and you’ve been hiding nothing from him so he doesn’t mind telling you things about himself.

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” You give him the option, not wanting to pry too much.

Matty brushes it off and encourages you, “Hit me baby.”

“Okay Britney Spears.” You chuckle a little before you go serious and ask him your question, “Do you get on with Alex now?”

“Because from an outsider's point of view - who obviously has no real insight into what was happening - it always seemed like a personal dislike you had between you. Like it wasn’t just for the sake of not liking each other, it was actually fuelled.” You look around your room as you find your words to ramble on but when you glance back at Matty and can’t quite gauge his reaction, immediately you backtrack, “I’m not explaining this well. Sorry… You don’t have to answer.”

“No, it’s okay.” Matty assures you and he goes on to say, “The simple short answer is yes. We get on, and everything is fine now.”

Matty continues with a small smile on his face when he explains, “Even I find it funny sometimes that after a decade of not liking him, he’s actually a really good mate now. Makes me laugh, can chat about things that aren’t just music and we can both embarrass Wheels so it’s quite funny too.”

You absolutely love that nickname he has for her. You sort of only know 1975 lore of where that nickname actually came from, but you’re sure you’ll ask him or her at some point if you do end up meeting her at George’s party.

“I’m sure one day I’ll tell you the full story, it’s too heavy for a FaceTime… I’d wanna tell you in person,” Matty pulls on the end of his curls before he tucks the ringlet beside his ear as he says that, which again you notice is his nervous behaviour, “But yeah, we’re friends and he’s actually a good laugh.”

Recognizing he was a little nervous saying that, you shake your head, “You don’t have to tell me anything… I wasn’t prying for details, I just wondered if you got on.”

Matty can see you starting to panic a little, so he eases your worries, “No, I know you weren’t, but I will tell you at some point… It’s everything that’s made me into who I am today so I don’t want to hide it from you.”

Hearing how sincerely he said that makes your chest ache. And you get the vibe the story will be a rollercoaster of emotions so the mere fact he actually felt comfortable enough with you to even discuss possibly telling you, means the world to you.

When you softly tell him, “As long as you’re comfortable with that.” Matty can’t get the smile off his face.

You're far too cute for your own good. All he wants to do is hug you and cuddle you into him and never let go.

He assures you, “You make me comfortable, baby.” and your heart proceeds to melt.

Christ knows how you’re going to make it through this date.

“Good, I’m glad…” You trail off, that smile now back on your lips as you're entirely obsessed with him. But that’s not to stop you from teasing again, “Will you sort out my dates with them tomorrow please?”

Of course Matty fakes an offended gasp then though and you have to bite your lip to stop yourself from laughing. The singer asks with wide eyes, “Can we have our second one first please?”

You laugh and nod, but instruct him, “Just plant the seed and I’ll do the rest.”

~*~*~*~ 29th December ~*~*~*~

Both you and Matty stayed up chatting again last night, both until you were almost falling asleep on each other again. And today with him being busy you’ve not FaceTimed because he had been busy with family in the morning, and he’d gone to Sheffield in the afternoon, and you were spending the evening and night over at Amelia’s.

Regardless though, you’ve been in contact most of the day, and it's been incredibly flirty. And that all started this morning after you’d already been messaging for a while and you moved on to the topic of the films you had to watch for the Golden Globes, but then the conversation changed to what your favourite films of all time were.

You seem to have pretty similar taste in films, despite the few niche ones that Matty name dropped that you had yet to see. He said that you could watch them together, but you said if that’s the case, then you’d be making him watch some Rom Coms that he’d yet to see because he thought they were too cringe, but he would trust your judgement.

You name a few, and Matty ends up scorning you for watching La La Land and you automatically defend it. Telling him that it has to be one of the ones that you watch together because it's full of music and romance, but then you warn him that he isn’t allowed to make fun of you when you inevitably cry at it.

Noooo baby, you can’t be upset when you’re with me, can’t have that xx Is the message you receive first, and he makes you coo at your phone but then he sends you another which makes you have a completely different reaction: However, I’m always here if you ever need a shoulder to put your legs on xxx

The gasp that you let out makes your family that you’re sitting around look at you and ask if you’re okay. Obviously, you just play it off like you’ve not just had a mini stroke in reaction to that message.

He really is going to be the death of you.

You take a minute to compose yourself, and you literally have nothing to reply to that other than scorning him. Because you really can’t be sexting him so early in the day.

Matthew…

It’s 11am!

His reply seems innocent, but you know he’s far from it. You can practically picture his smug grin as he typed out, Just giving you something to think about, take your mind off being sad x

You decide to scold him whilst also flirting, Yeah, and putting me in an entirely different mood xx

But Matty just teases you right back, Mhm good, think of me baby xx

You’re a menace xx You reply, biting your lip to try and stop the embarrassed smile that’s dying to make an appearance on your face.

When his reply comes through, all you can do is shake your head, You know it xxx

Flirting like this goes on for the rest of the day. Many times does he have your jaw dropping at his teasing messages, but you give it him right back most of the time.

You fear that he only liked you on your date because of your un-fussed humour that you can turn on and off, so you bring that back for some of your texts. You want to appear more confident to him and not always the embarrassed and flustered mess that you are most of the time when you FaceTime.

If anything continues after New Years, you’re sure that you’ll become accustomed to Matty and what he’s like, but you really don't want to get too ahead of yourself. So you just make yourself appear more in control of your emotions over text and you flirt with him first too when the opportunity arises, and Matty can’t lie he loves it. But he also loves when he can see that he’s got all flustered too. He just really likes you.

The day seems to pass the both of you by, never really being out of contact and before either of you know it, it’s quite late on in the evening and Matty has just crawled into the spare bedroom of his friend’s flat.

He’s just had a shower and he’s quite happy to actually just spend some time texting you without any other distractions. What are you up to baby? xx

Matty knows that you’re either still at Amelia’s family home, where you’d spent most of your afternoon and evening, or you’re about to be on your way home. Selfishly, he hopes that you’re alone again now so you can FaceTime each other.

But unfortunately that’s not going to happen as he finds out you’re still with your best friend when you reply:

Nothing just finding my 2022 dump pictures because Amelia is beside me pestering me to do one before the year is up x And a few seconds later, he also receives, What about you? xx

Matty tells you honestly, Still at Wheels and Alex’s flat, I had a drink so they said I could stay the night. Just got in bed xx

But he’s just gave you a nice opportunity to tease him so you say, Threesome sounds hot xx

And you’re left expecting a snarky comeback but your throat runs dry when he replies with a sarcastic, Please and a selfie of himself shirtless in bed, completely alone and follows it with, No sex for me tonight. I’d need you here baby xx

Biting your lip, you quickly type, Such a shame I’m not there, I’m sure you’ll survive xxx

You’re trying so hard not to react so Amelia doesn’t pry into your conversation but he makes it so hard for you when the next thing he says is, Don’t think I will, wanna facetime? xx

For your own sake you decide to make a joke out of it, just in hopes to get your heart rate back to normal and your cheeks to not be burning, Wow somewhere in the distance I can hear Too Shy playing xxx

Yet that continues to not work out for you because he has your breath hitching in your throat and your heart racing even faster when his text comes through and it says: Mmm no, I need to fuck you properly first before we do it over the phone xxx

Fucking hell.

You close your eyes and bite your tongue for a moment and will yourself not to have any reaction so your best friend doesn’t ask what was said. When you open your eyes you take a deep breath before typing out your reply as if that hadn’t taken your breath away and made you press your thighs together.

Have it all planned out do we? xx

And it’s barely a minute later he replies.

You know I do xx

The memory of him admitting to having enjoyed your pictures before, comes to the forefront of your mind then and now reading that text, you’re fully giddy knowing he wants you just as bad as you want him. So you ask for some more information, How’d you like to have me then? xx

Legs up and wide open for me preferably xx

Yep, you definitely need to go home.

Whilst you’d love to continue with the way this is going, you really can’t whilst you're still with Amelia. You end up responding a little sarcastically with, That sounds like a workout x

He replies with, You best be up for some cardio then baby x and you’re just glad it’s back to normal flirting that has you a bit more composed.

If it’s with you, can’t wait xx You cheekily say, a smirk on your face that he can’t see but he’s definitely picturing as he reads your text.

And it’s him saying, Awh yay, gym buddies! x next that has you hiccupping a laugh.

Fuck off, you dickhead😂 is all you say back, biting the inside of your cheek when Amelia looks up from her phone with a frown at the way you’re shaking from chuckles scaping your lips.

Thankfully she’s more entertained with what’s on her phone so when Matty says, Don’t start calling me that now, I might like it x back and you silently laugh at it, she ignores you.

You fake having known that and smartly reply, I was just trying to get you in the mood for what I’m about to post x

But his next text has you pausing and holding your breath as it says, I’m rock hard baby, don’t worry x and now all you’re left wondering is if he’s being honest or playful.

Trying not to hint the way that has you head scrambled, you tell him, I’ve got you covered baby x

A massive grin tugs at the corners of your lips when you see his next text reads, I hope I’m going to appear in it xx

But you want to keep teasing him some more so you only give him a vague, Maybe if I'm feeling generous xx to keep him on his toes.

If you could see him through your screen, you’d see the way he’s just smirking at his phone like a lunatic and how fast his fingers move on the keyboard to send, You better had baby xxx

Guess you’ll just have to wait and see xxx

You’re playing it so cool now but you’re very much looking forward to seeing his reaction to some of the pictures you’ve chosen to be in your next Instagram post.

You chuckle softly when he says, And how long will that wait be? xx

And Matty can hear your voice in his head when he reads that you reply with, Someone’s eager x

All he can say to that is the truth and it has you internally squealing when you read him say, For you? Always x

Matty is left to scroll though the things he’s missed whilst he’s been socialising today as you’re taking your time to reply. He likes to think he’s teased you enough to have you all flustered for him, but in reality you’re saying your goodbyes to Amelia and her family before getting in the car and driving a few minutes back to your parents.

As soon as you get in though, you select all the pictures you and Amelia had just chosen out and you post them captioning it as, 2022 you were the year dreams came true, onto my even more slutty 2023 x

Matty jumps as the notification comes through on his phone. He was waiting for your reply anyway but seeing that come up at the top of his screen has Matty wishing his phone would work faster so he could see what you’ve posted.

After a long agonising ten seconds, your profile loads along with your new post and he smiles at the caption you put on that all but quotes his words on your first date. But then his eyes are drawn up to the post itself and he’s eager to see what awaits and he likes it instantly.

The pictures you’ve posted range from cute to sinful, and Matty can’t help but love every single one. There's a few of you and Amelia, both of you having fun and it’s clear for anyone to see that you’re the best of friends and you love each other loads.

There's a few other behind the scenes pictures of a few of your dates. But Matty’s heart feels full when he gets to a picture where he can see you’ve got the Polaroids you and he took after your date pinned up. He’s so beyond glad he makes an appearance in these pictures.

There’s another picture of you in that Miu Miu mini skirt suit where you’re dramatically posing in the hallway of a hotel against the wall which has him groaning a little. There's another in your outfit from London Fashion Week, and then he’s met with a picture of you and Phoebe Bridgers taking a selfie where you’re pulling faces at your phone.

The second to last one makes him laugh too, and he knows it’s from Boxing day because it was a picture of your new blanket that features him on it. This time instead of you holding it up, it’s lay out on your bed and you have lay over yourself and you're grinning down at ‘him’ trying not to burst out laughing.

Matty is on his way to bully you for posting two pictures of him in your 2022 dump, and he’s about to call you a simp when he checks the last picture. And immediately you’ve got him in a chokehold.

His dick twitches in response to seeing it, and he palms himself to try and ease the way blood is rushing to it seeing this picture of you.

Whilst the second to last picture is a wholesome one of you lying down on your bed, this one is far from in. In this one, you’ve got your dress on that you wore for the GQ awards - and Matty knows it's the one because he’s looked at it far too many times at this point - and in this picture you’re propping yourself up on your elbow, whilst holding a rose down to your lips from above with your other arm.

It’s the dress that has Matty in pain though. The way your breasts look like their about to burst from the top of it, begging for the restricting material to be released, and the thigh slit of the dress is showing the curve of your arse as you’ve picked that leg up, crossing it over the other with your Louis Vuitton heels still on.

And now Matty is growing harder with the more he looks at you, and somehow he knows you’ve posted this one just for him. To toy with him, to edge him, to tease him, because that’s what he’s been doing to you all day.

Reluctantly, he tears his eyes off the picture of you to go back to message you, accusing, You did that last one on purpose x

Got my notifications on I see… It’s only been a minute since you posted so you decide to taunt him for it, Obsessed.

You’re certain he’s just rolled his eyes at you when he comes back with, Don’t let it go to your head xx

No way are you letting him get away with it though, instead you encourage him to do what he apparently normally does with your more revealing Instagram pictures. You reply, Enjoy yourself baby x

And you should be surprised, but you genuinely aren’t when he tells you, Call me that again please xx

You’re smirking at your phone at this point as you head upstairs to your room as you start typing out, Oh baby, do you also need my hand to take your mind off doing this at your best friend and her husband’s place? x

And then you throw yourself on bed to wait for his response, which comes back very quickly after and it hilariously says, Don’t be a smartarse baby, you’re making this weird x

You’re giggling to yourself, knowing he’s just trying to sneak his way out of the way you’re giving him a taste of his own medicine with your teasing so you call him out on it by sending him a text that reads, Even if I made it weird you’d enjoy it far more than you’d expect it, don’t fool yourself x

Just to toy with him a bit more and continue to test the waters with him, you make sure to add, I expect at least a thank you in return x

The, You can get a little more than that x that he sends next has you squealing into your pillow for a few seconds but when you bring yourself to look back at your screen and type a response, you see he’s sent something more that has you breathless.

It’s a picture of himself that reminds you quite a lot of the Consumption bit at the shows, for he has his free hand down his underwear and since he’s got no trousers on you can clearly see his We Are Kings tattoo in all its glory.

But what has your mouth going completely dry is the fact that it’s a live picture and when you curiously press on it to see if you can get anything else from it, you find yourself hearing Matty let out a soft moan of relief when his hand disappears under his pants.

All inhibitions are out of the window after that, and you let yourself be openly horny for him then when you say, I like that sound you made there x and as if that information wasn’t enough, you just need to let him know, I’ll be having fun with that later, thanks baby x

Matty had no idea noises could be hear from the picture so he pressed on it to hear it himself, cheeks blushing when he listens to what you’ve pointed out and in attempt to sound like he meant it, he types, I knew you’d enjoy that x

He finds himself thinking there had been a switch in you after he sent that and he loves to have it confirmed when he reads you’ve texted him, I hope you think of me the way I’ll be thinking of you later tonight x

Should I be expecting to hear my name all the way from Muswell Hill then? x He hopes you don’t hide back because this is just another taste of what he got that night in your room when you both got carried away and even though he stopped it before anything could happen, he’s been playing it on his mind and growing fonder of that side of you.

You decide you have to tease him then, because after the picture you just got, you want to give him something else to think about. Opening your camera, you immediately turn off live pictures because you’re not having the same thing happen to you.

After pulling your top off, you ruffle up your hair, just enough so it’s not neat as it lies around your shoulders and you lean back against your pillows again. Picking your phone up, you turn it landscape and you take a few pictures of yourself that show off some cleavage but leave out what he’s dying to see.

And you settle on one picture in particular where half of your face is cut off, but your mouth is open and it almost looks like you’re moaning in the picture. Your fingers grazing your collarbone, hair sprawled out over your pillow and covers over you just enough for him to be left begging for them to come off.

Mhmm hope you heard it xxx Is what you add as a caption to the picture and it’s a lie to say that you aren’t biting on your thumb nervous to see his reaction.

Matty takes a good minute after the picture comes through to process it all. His instant reaction is a loud groan that has him throwing his head back and cursing under his breath. He isn’t sure what else to say back other than, Fuck me x since his head is all scrambled from seeing you like that.

In 2 days xx You cheekily reply, and still feeling the power you have over him, you continue with, Good things come to those who wait x

His text comes faster than the last one and it only says, Cum* xxx

You giggle seeing that message come through, but with him still replying to you, you don’t think he’s doing with that picture of yours as you intended, so you tease him, Replying still??? Don’t edge yourself on my account baby xx

Watching the three dots come up on your phone feels like edging itself though. You’re hanging off his every word but you can’t let yourself feel ashamed about it. Especially when you see his response.

Oh but I love a bit of edging xx

You choke when that comes through. You had your theories but to see it written down and the fact he’d said it makes your mouth a little dry and you’re trying not to get flustered at all the thoughts running round your head.

You bite your lip as you type your reply, almost nervous to even be this forward over text with him. Holding your breath, you tap send on, You’ll change your mind on that after I have you begging to cum xx

The squeal that you let out when you see it change from sent to seen is obscene, and you find that you can’t look at your phone because you’re a little scared for his reply. When you see the three dots bubble up in the corner of the screen you end up throwing your phone to the end of your bed as you can’t handle the anticipation.

After a minute, you collect your phone knowing his reply will have come through by now. And when you see his message, You can’t do this to me right now baby x you can’t help but laugh.

Reading back over that has you smirking to yourself and gathering some more courage, you end up reminding him, You started it x and you scold him and you have to tease him one last time before you call it a night, Don’t give what you can’t take xx

Once again he shows you just how everything you give him, he can give you back three times worse when his reply comes through and you read, I’ll show you all I can give on new years baby, promise xx

It’s pure excitement that bubbles in the pit of your stomach and you’re sure that tonight you’ll go to bed dreaming of what that day will be like.

It’s not teasing anymore when you leave him with a, Can’t wait xxx

You can only hope that when you wake up the next morning, the day magically rushes by and the hours shorten just so you can finally go on the second date you’ve been thinking about for ages.

~*~*~*~ 30th December ~*~*~*~

“You know,” Matty raises his eyebrows at you through and you can’t help but take a screenshot of how cute he looks, “I think it’s really rude that we’re both back in London and you won’t let me come see you.”

Both of you got home today, you around midday and Matty just a few hours ago as he’d been driving for most of the day. You’ve been on your FaceTime about an hour and a half now, and Matty keeps complaining how you won’t let him come over.

But you really can’t, you’ve got no self restraint left at this point, you would never make it to the date if he came over, so you just keep with your initial plan.

You shrug him off again and say, “I like to build tension. What can I say?”

Matty sighs, his chest deflating as he pouts again, “I should have just driven an extra hour and come straight to see you.”

“No,” You shake your head, “Because you can’t be trusted keeping those hands of yours to yourself. You have my Instagram at your disposal if you wanna get yourself off tonight.”

Not that you have a leg to stand on. You’re practically itching to get your hands on him again. You’re dying to fuck him after your conversation last night. This truly has been the longest week of your life.

Matty closes his eyes and dramatically falls back onto his settee as he says, “You’re never letting me live it down, are you?”

“Nope,” You grin victoriously and you love the way he opens his eyes and he pretends to be annoyed about it, but the more he looks at your smile the more he can’t help but grin at you. You tease him a little more as you say, “Hope you enjoyed last night's treat too.”

“Alright, enough.” Matty says a little louder before he brings his phone closer to his face and warms you, “I’ll make you pay for it tomorrow.”

You smirk at that, and despite knowing exactly how he meant it, you turn the comment on its head and play innocent, “I don’t mind paying for our food.”

“I wasn’t talking about the food.” Matty smirks right back, knowing what you’re up to and he loves the way you can’t work up the courage

“I’m excited to take you out.” Matty smiles wholesomely, dropping the act now to be genuine.

“I’m excited to finally be going out,” You grin, your heart beating a little faster at the mere thought of what tomorrow could hold. “It feels like the longest three months we’ve had this planned for.”

Matty hums in agreement, “Longest of my life.”

You’ve got a feeling that after tomorrow, your life won’t ever be the same again. And you can’t wait.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: We hope you enjoyed this one! Rest assured that New Years Eve is coming next, and it’s spicy! Thanks a million for reading, we can’t wait to hear your thoughts on this one! See you soon with the next part over at @imagine-that-100​ blog! xx

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[rookthorne]

⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐀𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐲

The holiday season was in full swing, and you were keen to make a head start for the coming days — each bouquet wouldn’t make itself, nor would the orders be filled if you stayed where it was warm and cosy. 

What you didn’t expect in your shop before the crack of dawn, however, was two men intent on sprucing up the space.

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𖠺 Tattoo Artist!CW!Bucky Barnes x Florist!F!Reader x Tattoo Artist!Nomad!Steve Rogers

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 𖠺 2.3k

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𖠺 Fluff, crack, they are not very good at surprises (like at all)

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆 𖠺 Another one thanks to @smutconnoisseur and I am so damn grateful. I loved writing this side of the boys.

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕 𖠺 @rookthorne's Merry Buckmas — Masterlist

𝐆𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐈𝐧𝐤 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

The sun had barely started to rise over the buildings as you made your way down the street, huddled in your coat, beanie, and scarf for warmth against the chilled breeze of a New York December morning. 

On any normal day, you would have taken the opportunity to be given a lift to work — anything to beat the damned snow. But both Bucky and Steve said last night, when they dropped you back home to your apartment, that they wouldn’t be opening the shop at the ‘normal hours’ that day, thanks to an engagement elsewhere. 

It didn’t bother you, truly, it didn’t, though you would give anything to be in the backseat of their luxury car to get out of the snow. 

Quartet’s Ink loomed closer, the dark woods and burnt reds contrasted harshly against the white of the snow. The lights were off, as you expected, and the blinds were drawn — not a single sign of life within the building. 

You walked past the parlour, observing the front facade where Christmas wreaths hung on every available hook and space (that you proudly placed), and you wondered distantly what your boys were up to. They sent a good morning voice message, and from the background noise in the audio, they were somewhere that echoed — similar to that of a warehouse, maybe they were picking up supplies for more decorating?

Regardless, you trudged on, and with your shop in sight, you were relieved to get out of the cold. 

You pulled up short when you realised something was off. All of the lights were off, when you would leave at least one on — if anything, the bouquet fridge lights should be at least visible, but they weren’t. The blinds were also drawn when they normally weren’t; a strange visage was over what you could see on the window, too. 

“Did I– Surely, I must have,” you mumbled, and you shrugged as you fumbled with the key. 

The lock unclicked, and the door swung open, barely making a sound in the quiet morning. Each flower display was as you left them the previous night — not a petal out of place. “Good morning, pretties,” you whispered, running your gloved finger over some of the leaves. “Today is a new day, I can’t wait–”

“Hurry up—the last thing we need is her coming in,” a voice said.

You froze. 

“I’m goin’! Just make sure you don’t fuck this up,” another voice said, their voice deeper and filled with exasperation. “This needs to be– Shit, grab that before it falls.”

There was a scuffling sound, like boots over tile, followed by the sound of air rushing. “Got it. Now hurry up. Our friend said that she will be in soon.”

What the hell?

Slowly, you reach for your phone in your pocket, the device your only saving grace against these intruders — Bucky and Steve were not far away. They said they weren’t leaving town, you remembered. 

Fear rooted you to the spot and you weren’t able to move yourself from your far too exposed position, you couldn’t hide; you were stuck and at the mercy of whoever was in the back room of your store. 

The screen lit up with the press from your thumb, and you glanced downwards to scroll and find Bucky’s number — he had less compunctions on moving like a bat out of hell to get to you, speed limits or not. 

“Do you think she– Wait, did you put the blinds down?” one of them asked.

There was a beat of silence, then the other replied. “Yeah, I did.”

Something was nagging at you from the back of your mind — those voices, they were familiar somehow, the tone and cadence, the warmth in their words. Only two people you knew spoke like that. 

The fear that roiled your stomach did not abate with the surge of doubts on the intruders or their identities. 

Your mind was still reeling with the danger you found yourself in, and the adrenaline that coursed through your veins turned your body rigid; pent up with the need to run, to get to safety. The impulse allowed you to take a singular step backwards, but you knocked into the edge of a shelf, and the pots wobbled precariously in their neat rows.

The voices in the back room ceased immediately, and a deafening silence followed. 

It was broken by one of them asking the other, “Did you hear that?”

“No, the only thing I hear is the devil on my shoulder tellin’ me to put you in a headlock for being so fuckin’ snappy.” You heard a quiet thump of something placed onto a hard surface. “Why? Do you think she’s here?” 

Wait–

“Never mind, jerk,” the other voice answered. 

“That can’t be right,” you mouthed, and your thumb hovered over your phone screen, right over the call button to Bucky’s phone. 

There were more footsteps, and then a quiet grunt of effort. “I sure fuckin’ hope you brought enough damn paint, Stevie.”

Panic still held you in a vice, but you hesitated — the use of Stevie too familiar, and the way the intruder was talking? That same thread of doubts held you fast. Your hesitation cost you a single second of time, and in that second, you saw shadows move behind the door, the reach of them could be seen between the bottom of the door and tiled floor. 

You pressed the call button, and your phone screen changed to a picture of you and the brunette embracing one another in their shop. The dial tone sounded, then, the ringtone Bucky assigned to you. “Shit!” Bucky cried, and your hand flew to your mouth to muffle any sound of surprise that you couldn’t bite back. “It’s her, shit– Babe, what do I do?”

“Oh no,” Steve rushed. You could hear his boots as he dashed to Bucky’s side. “We’ll text her back—tell ‘er we’re busy or something.”

The call ended, and you were left standing there in the middle of your shop with a hand over your mouth and a hand over your heart, unable to move from the shock that held you fast in place. Bucky and Steve, the very same men who told you they would be otherwise engaged with something else, were messing around in the back of your store with a secret. 

“Okay,” Steve sighed. “Let’s text her and get this done.”

Quickly, you switched your phone onto silent mode and waited. 

The two of them didn’t speak loud enough for you to hear, but your phone vibrated a minute later, and you were too occupied with watching the shadows between the crack of the door move closer and closer to look at your screen.  

“Right,” Bucky said at last, “That’s done, let’s finish this—I can’t wait to see her face, Stevie.”

Their footsteps neared the closed door, and you discerned a mention of flowers, glass, and paint — the thickness of a brush and how it would go over the delicate glass. 

“Shit, shit,” you mouthed, hurriedly backing away from the shelf you already bumped into. “Shit–” The sound of pottery falling from a shelf and landing on the tiled floor with an almighty crash made you audibly gasp behind your hand. 

“God fucking dammit,” Steve hissed just behind the door, exasperated. “You had one job, James.”

Laughter threatened to bubble up from your chest and you bit your cheek to keep yourself grounded — silence was imperative. 

Bucky groaned. “That was not my fault; it got in my way."

You bit down on your finger, desperate to keep the mirthful giggles at bay.

There was a thud of something being placed down onto a table — the same one where you would eat lunch from on busier days. Steve spoke up, his tone still exasperated but thoroughly amused, "You showed it—now get the damn broom, Buck."

“Yeah, yeah, impatient prick,” Bucky grumbled, and the door swung open, flooding the shop’s main room with light. “I will when we’re done—we can’t dawdle anymore.”

Steve sighed. “You’re right. C’mon, she’ll be–”

They stopped when they caught sight of you standing in the middle of the room, your hand over your mouth, the other holding your phone against your chest, that still had Bucky’s contact up on the screen. 

“Oh, fuck,” Bucky whispered. 

“Oh, shit,” Steve said at the same time. 

Both of them stared at you like deer caught in headlights; eyes comically wide and bodies frozen with shock. 

“Sweetheart,” Bucky greeted nervously.

“Doll,” Steve said at the same time. 

You blinked, looked between the two, and then glanced down at what they held in their arms: trays ladened and full of paints and brushes, as well as small buckets and tubs. There was a roll of coloured tape amongst the mess of it. 

Now that there was no distraction of strange voices in the space, you could hear a speaker faintly playing Christmas tunes; the tune one you’d heard a million times over. 

They stood stock still, like marble statues, as you scrutinised them. Bucky’s hair was in a messy updo, a paint brush stuck through the loop of hair at the top of his head, and Steve had a pencil behind his ear. 

“We can explain,” they both rushed, and the trays in their arms clattered as they rushed to put them down on the till counter. 

You weren’t jolted out of your stupor until the paint brush in Bucky’s hair slipped through his locks and clattered to the floor with a wet slap. He winced and put his hands up in a placating gesture, and Steve quickly bent down to pick up the paint brush, ignoring the mess it left behind. “Petal–”

You didn’t answer them. Instead, you continued to stare at them, bewildered at their presence in your shop before it was even open; in no way were you angry or scared, not at this point, but– “What the fuck is going on?”

There’s an explosion of noise when both of them rush to explain, each of them tripping over their words to speak and soothe the sound of irritation in your voice — a ruse at best, truly, you were overwhelmed with emotions that ranged from utter shock to glee. 

“Wait, wait, stop.” Their tirades stop when you hold your pointer finger up. “First of all, I thought you were out–”

Bucky stepped forward. “We weren’t—well, we were, we had to get some paints to– To, um–”

“We wanted to surprise you, Petal,” Steve said softly, his eyes wide and pleading. “We weren’t doing anything that would harm your flowers–”

“I didn’t think you were,” you rushed to reassure them, and this time, you stepped forward and grabbed one of their hands in yours — Bucky with your left, Steve with your right. “I would never think that I promise. You two just scared me—walking into my shop to hear voices? I thought the worst.”

Steve stepped closer and pulled you into his chest, kissing your temple. “Of course—we’re sorry, doll.” 

“Yeah,” Bucky rasped, looking at his feet. He leaned over and kissed you on the cheek. “Promise we wouldn’t cause trouble, not in here—not without you, you chaos queen.”

You hugged them both, and gave them a fleeting, chaste kiss on the lips before you looked around. “Well, do you wanna tell me what you’ve been up to?”

Bucky and Steve pulled out of your embrace and grabbed your hands, pulling you towards the front window of your shop where the blinds were drawn. You realised the window they led you to had the strange visage on it; unable to be deciphered by the lack of light. Outside the window was barely visible through the blind, but the streetlight outside made a faint, amber glow shine through; shadows danced and swayed in the flurries of falling snow. 

“Uh– Wanda, she let us in,” Steve started to explain, and his hand grabbed the lever to move the blind. Inwardly, you cursed your friend for not mentioning such a surprise; outwardly, you nodded. “And both of us, Buck and I, we’ve been working on this all morning. See, we wanted to have something– Well, we wanted you to have something from us, for your little haven, ‘cause we know how much you love and care for this place.”

Bucky put an arm around your waist and pulled you close. 

The whirl of the mechanics sounded from the window, and the blinds rose in tandem, revealing the bank of snow on the outside ledge. 

What gave you pause, however, was the strokes of paint over the glass, the feel distinctly stylish but whimsical with the white roses; a tinge of yellow in the hip of the bud and up through the centre petals gave the illusion of lumination. Angel wings cupped the dozen of flowers; the wings textured to look as soft as the feathers appeared. 

“Oh,” you gasped, and your hands flew over your mouth as tears stung your eyes. “Oh my– Boys!”

They looked bashful, the slight tinge of pink high on their cheeks. Bucky was the one to speak up this time, “We’re not done, sweetheart, but we thought it would spruce up the place even more for Christmas—Wanda assured us that you’d like it.”

“I fucking love it,” you gushed, unable to hold the tears back any longer. “Oh my god!”

You launched yourself into Bucky’s side, ignoring both Bucky’s surprised “Oof!” and Steve’s chuckle. 

A warm chest pushed up against your back, and you realised you were now between them both — front to Bucky’s chest, and your back to Steve’s chest. Their arms wove around you; holding you close and refusing to let go. 

“Thank you, boys,” you whispered. 

Steve kissed your temple, and Bucky squeezed you tight in reply.

⠈⠂⠄ 𝐢𝐧𝐛𝐨𝐱 | 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲 | 𝐚𝐨𝟑 ⠄⠂⠁

⠈⠂⠄ 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 ⠄⠂⠁

[cieloclercs]

𝐬𝐚𝐮𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐞 | chapter one

pairings: charles leclerc x senna!oc part: 1/? warnings: google translate portuguese, angsty word count: 5.7k

SAUDADE. in which childhood rivals turned best friends realise they were always meant to be something more

01. what’s past is past

author’s note. chapter 1 ✅ please let me know what you guys think! all your feedback is greatly appreciated <3

read it on wattpad!

next ➜ chapter 2

17 December 2020 Aston Martin Headquarters Silverstone, United Kingdom

THE SOUND OF her car engine roaring is one of the most beautiful things in the world. That is what Noêmia Senna Borges believes. The rush of adrenaline it sends coursing through her veins just to hear it purr as she presses on the accelerator is like nothing she has ever experienced – and ever will experience again. Children often cry at loud noises, but infant Noa had delighted in the roar of her father's Formula 1 car when he took her, perched on his shoulder as he walked around the paddock, to his final races before he retired. So it isn't an overstatement to say – she was born to drive.

It's a car of emerald green, not red as she had always hoped, that flies around the legendary Silverstone track on her final lap of the day. Noa likes to think that a Ferrari would feel like home beneath her hands – like an extension of herself. The Aston Martin she brings back into the garage isn't quite there yet, though, hearing her lap times replayed through the radio, it doesn't sound a long way off. Engineers and strategists bustle all around her as she steps through the garage, pulling her balaclava over her head, and letting her now unruly curls fall down around her shoulders. A few compliment her on her drive, but most stick to appreciative smiles or nods. Noa is perfectly content with that. She's been raised to accept praise when given, but never to seek it. She drives for herself, not for validation.

Her time on the track is over for the day, so Noa stays behind in the garage to watch Sebastian's test laps. She settles in her own little corner, far enough away from the hustle and bustle of his engineering team to be at peace, but equally, close enough that she can pick up on snippets of their data feedback. With her water bottle in her hand and her balaclava drawn up to her nose to ward off the cold (though she keeps having to pull it down to take sips from the straw) Noa goes almost unnoticed. That is, until her PR manager, Raffaella Di Angelo, appears to remind her of their scheduled afternoon meeting. She assures her she won't be late, and sends the Italian woman on her way again gladly, as her focus switches back to the emerald green car hurtling around the track. Raffaella shakes her head when she leaves. She's worked with a few Formula 1 drivers in her time, but they are all the same – hooked on the need for speed.

Sebastian's lap times are only marginally better than hers. This in itself seems to give her a spurt of hope, and she leaves the garage positively beaming. He tells her afterwards that she is one of the best rookies he's ever come across – Noa knows, of course, the other name that resides on Sebastian Vettel's prestigious list, but she chooses to ignore that for the moment. Nothing, not even him, can ruin this for her.

"You know, if you wanted to, we could compare our notes sometime." He says as they come to a halt in the lobby, and she turns to look him in the eye properly, "I often find it useful just to talk everything through with someone else."

"I'll definitely take you up on that offer." Noa smiles up at him, "I've – uh – got a meeting with Raffaella right now, though. And then I'm going to see a... friend in London. Could we take a rain check?"

"Yeah, no problem." Sebastian says with a dismissive wave of his hand, "Just come find me whenever you want. My door's always open."

Noa laughs, "Ok. I'll hold you to that."

He leaves her with a wave as he speeds off into the car park, where his Suzuki GT 750 is parked (because of course he drives a motorcycle to work). She watches until he is no more than a dot on the horizon, before turning back inside.

The marketing and media team's headquarters is normally bustling with activity, but today, it seems uncharacteristically quiet. Noa figures it must be because testing for the month is coming to an end – Christmas is approaching, after all, and people have families to spend time with. Though, of course, Raffaella stays. It only seems right, even if she hasn't known her for all that long, the PR manager is the most diligent, hardworking person she's ever met. There aren't many people in Formula 1 as young as her already so high up in the ranks, but Noa understands perfectly why she is the exception. Even now, when the rest of her team have headed home for the holidays, she sits in her pristine office, sorting through her perfectly arranged files as if there is nowhere else in the world she would rather be. Noa refuses to believe that's true, but she is grateful for it anyway.

"Hey." The driver says as she pushes open the door to Raffaella's office. Her PR manager looks up, "Taking the late shift today?" she teases.

"You know I'm always on the late shift." Raffaella rolls her eyes playfully, "I like it better when it's quiet – I can actually hear myself think."

Noa laughs. She takes her seat at the desk, opposite the Italian, who takes a moment to glance over the papers in front of her once more. Then she looks up, a smile gracing her face. The gold-rimmed glasses she always wears slip down her nose slightly, but she doesn't push them back up.

"So, just to recap everything from the last few meetings." She beams, "Your public image is skyrocketing, just as we predicted. Of course, your family name does have something to do with that, but it's mostly you."

I should hope so, Noa thinks, fighting off the urge to raise an eyebrow.

Contrary to popular belief, it isn't all bad being the only woman on the grid – or at least, not for her. Of course, she knows her family name has a significant part to play in that, but she genuinely believes it's not just her status as Gabriel Borges' daughter, or Ayrton Senna's niece that has earned her such worldwide recognition as she's getting now. The female audience in Formula 1 is growing massively; more than it has ever grown before, and that audience needs a role model to look towards. Many people have named her as this role model, this heiress to the throne of growth in women's motorsport.

"You're the perfect example." Raffaella had said to her the last time they met, "You've got everything: confidence, a pretty face, the right family name, and – more importantly – bucketloads of talent. There's a reason the fans are betting on you to become F1's next wonderkid. You quite literally have everything going for you."

From a media perspective it's true – Noa is gold dust. The product of two of the sport's greats; a generational talent, fighting against the stereotypes, strongarming her way to a Formula 1 seat like it's predestined that she should sit there. It's so simple really. Every big name nowadays is looking to support the minority (for the right reasons or not still remains to be seen). Fans have been concerned about the lack of female presence in motorsports for decades, and that concern is now beginning to escalate. In a society where women are re-gaining their deserved power, it would be, frankly, nothing short of a death wish to shun one of the movement's most influential and powerful figureheads.

Noa can't help but think sometimes, despite the difficulties she's faced actually getting to this point, perhaps being the only woman on the grid might even play into her hands. No one, no matter how good she is, ever truly expects her to be able to beat these men at their own game. Therefore she has absolutely nothing to lose. And if she does well – which she fully intends to do, and more – then her legacy on the sport will be just as lasting as either her father's or her uncle's. The first female World Champion; immortalised in the history books.

Make no mistake, Noa adores her family. Her idols. Gabriel and Ayrton have both played such a huge role in getting her to where she is today, and she'll forever be grateful for that. But sometimes, all she wants is to finally step out of their great, looming shadows – perhaps cast her own for a change. Make a name for herself. Noa doesn't want to be known as Gabriel Borges' daughter or Ayrton Senna's niece for the rest of her life. She wants her own piece of Formula 1 history, that will be remembered years later, just as they are.

"I can turn you into the biggest star this sport has seen in decades." Raffaella says earnestly, her dark eyes sparkling with excitement, "All you have to do is drive like I already know you can. Let me handle the rest."

Noa grins widely. This is the beginning of a new chapter in her life; she can feel it. A chapter where she finally gets to see all her dreams — which not so long ago, she had feared were unattainable — finally accomplished. The setbacks of the past year will be nothing but a distant, unpleasant memory. All she has to do now is keep looking forward.

"We've actually received a new contract proposition from a potential sponsor." Raffaella goes on, waiting just a moment to properly let her words sink in, "It's a big one."

Noa sits up straighter. A thrill of something like electricity shoots down her spine.

"Well don't keep me waiting!" she huffs when Raffaella keeps quiet for a few seconds, dragging out the suspense too much for her liking. She's never been a patient person — least of all with something like this. The Italian woman giggles.

"Dio, I can't believe I'm even saying this." she begins. Her own excitement is building up so much now that it leaves her a little short of breath, "You're gonna lose my mind when I tell you —"

"Just say it, caralho!" Noa cuts her off shrilly. Raffaella fights off the urge to burst out laughing again.

"Ok, ok!" she concedes, holding her hands up in surrender when the driver makes half a move as if to dive across the table and shake the withheld information out of her, "Chanel wants you to be the new face of No. 5!"

Noa's jaw all but drops open.

Holy shit.

"You're joking?" she laughs. It's disbelieving, and her hands fly automatically to cover her mouth, "Me? They want me?"

"Yes, you." Raffaella chuckles.

"...But why?"

Of all the people in the world who have been offered this opportunity in the past, Noa never for one second believed she would be asked to join them. Nicole Kidman. Brad Pitt. Even Marilyn Monroe herself. What put her, a promising but unproven rookie up with the likes of them?

"Why do you think?" Raffaella scoffs, as if her simply asking the question is ridiculous, "You're the daughter and niece of two of the greatest Formula 1 drivers ever. Let's not forget, you look like a model — the perfect poster girl. That's what brands like this look for: someone who everyone wants to either be or be with. Besides that, the world is crying out for more female role models like you. Chanel is just giving the people what they want. By sponsoring you, investing in you, they're also investing in one of the biggest industries in the world, with one of the richest fanbases! It's a no-brainer!"

Noa sits dumbfounded, listening to her PR manager with an expression of half-formed joy mixed with confusion, and utter shock. She opens her mouth to say something — although what, she isn't exactly sure of — but Raffaella is speaking again before the words have chance to form on her lips.

"You don't have to make a decision about it now, so don't worry." she assures her with a gentle smile, "If you want to sign the contract, you'll have to do it in London by no later than March of next year."

It takes Noa a moment to come to her senses, but as soon as the word contract is mentioned, she is brought back to reality with a jolt. Why does she even need to think about an offer like this? It's every girl's dream, is it not? To be the face of a brand that legendary. Surely she would be stupid not the drive into London right now and sign that contract on the spot.

So then why does Raffaella suddenly look so nervous?

"The reason I'm giving you time to think about this is that — well, there's a catch." the Italian woman sighs, her furrowed eyebrows softening in sympathy, "The deal has two parts: two partners, if you will. The first being you, and the second..." she trails off, wincing, "...the second being Charles Leclerc."

And just like that, every ounce of elation that had filled Noa's body at Raffaella's initial announcement dissipates into the open air. Of course it has to be him. Despite everything, he's the one person she doesn't seem to be able to forget about. It's like the universe is trying to torture her.

"Obviously Chanel is aware of your friendship." Raffaella continues hastily, deciding to take her silence as an opportunity to get a word in edgeways before the arguing starts, "Or, former friendship, that is..."

"They clearly didn't get the memo about that part." Noa grumbles under her breath.

"You wouldn't have to see him much." the PR manager reasons, "The contracts are separate for the most part, but there are a couple of overlaps, since you're representing the same brand. Photoshoots, a few interviews — nothing too invasive, though, I'll make that clear — maybe a public appearance at a gala or two later on in the season..." she trails off again. The frequent silences are beginning to make Noa's skin crawl, for the simple fact that it gives her too much time to think about the situation; to think about him.

"Like I said, you don't have to make any decisions right now—"

"It's ok." she cuts Raffaella off quickly, a weak smile appearing on her face that has the PR manager sighing with relief, "You'll have to give me a couple of weeks to, uh...weigh up my options." she looks away, biting down on her lower lip anxiously — a bad habit from her childhood, "I know what you're thinking. I'd be mad to turn it down."

Noa knows she would be. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and she's sure that if she doesn't take it, Chanel will have plenty of other people lined up who will.

"I just need to work out a couple of things with him first."

That's the sticking point. Given the way her friendship with Charles ended (and the unpleasant fallout following it) Noa doesn't even know if she's ready to see him again without punching him in the face. She doesn't have that much restraint, but especially not around him. Though once it had been one of her favourite things about him, it's now the thing that could potentially land her a lawsuit — her emotions are always dialled up to eleven whenever Charles Leclerc is around.

Raffaella pauses, a frown slowly pinching at her skin, drawing her perfectly arched eyebrows together, "Have you not spoken to him? At all?"

Noa's face falls. Almost in an instant, she begins to backtrack.

"Sorry, I know it's a sensitive subject —"

"It's ok." the driver repeats with a humourless laugh, "I haven't spoken to him since 2018. Not for lack of trying..." she trails off with a shake of her head, not wanting to dig up old graves when she should have well and truly buried them long ago, "But I'll figure something out. I promise."

Slowly, Raffaella nods. She seems to be trying to read Noa's face for a moment, her eyes squinting from behind her glasses. All she sees is that her words are truth. A small smile graces her lips — almost proud. If only she knew, Noa doesn't have any intention of figuring it out any time soon.

They move on from the topic of Charles before it can dampen the mood anymore. She's still curious about this sudden contract offer. It's so out of the blue, Noa doesn't know quite what to make of it. She half expects the day to turn out to be one of those dreams that seem so realistic at the time, that when you wake up, you miss the fantasy world like you have actually lived it. Noa waits and waits for reality to kick in — but it never does.

"Is it not a bit of a risky move?" she asks, biting down on her lower lip once again, "I mean, I haven't even made my full debut yet. What if I turn out to be a complete failure?" half-joking, she laughs. The sound is hollow.

"Oh, come on." Raffaella scoffs, "Let's be real here. You're a Senna Borges. You couldn't be a failure even if you tried."

The words are supposed to console her — they should console her. But Noa merely feels the old yet familiar sensation of doubt, like someone's bony fingers inching up her spine. She banishes it just as quickly. It's not the time to re-open that wound.

Soon enough, her hours at the factory are up. As it turns out, Raffaella is even more of a workaholic than she'd first thought, merely brushing away her offers of a lift back to her hotel when she laughed about how her old Kia Picanto is stuck in the garage for repairs, so she'll have to travel back by taxi — if she can even get one all the way out here. But no matter how much Noa insists, Raffaella's answer is always the same.

She leaves the stubborn Italian still working in her office with a disbelieving shake of her head, already making a mental note to get her to let loose a little bit when the season starts — she'll have Raffaella partying like a Brazilian before the end of the year, she swears it. Besides, there's really no better environment to do it in than at a Formula 1 after party; with the pick of the best clubs, the strongest alcohol, and the most glamorous company. Never mind Raffaella, Noa can't wait to get back to her old party lifestyle. God knows, she needs a pick-me-up after the year she's had.

The drive into London doesn't take too long; no more than an hour and a half, and her brand new Aston Martin DB11 makes light work of the journey. She types the address of the café where they arranged to meet into the car's built-in sat nav. It's low profile, out of the centre of London where the only people they're likely to bump into will most likely not even bat an eyelid at their presence. Noa is glad of that.

She climbs out of her car, locking it behind her, when the little café finally comes into view. There are a few people inside she can see, but no sign of him yet — she assumes he must be sat somewhere out of her eye-line, as he texted her not even a few minutes ago to let her know he was inside. The bell at the top of the door jingles as she pushes it open, smiling at the woman at the counter who greets her. Noa's eyes wander briefly around the room. It takes her a few moments to spot him, sat placidly in a booth in the corner of the room, but when she does, her face lights up.

As if he can sense her eyes on him, Arthur Leclerc is looking her way in the next instant. He shoots up from his seat, striding over to meet her halfway. He looks nervous, Noa notices. His mouth opens and closes as if he's searching within himself for something to say, but can't quite find the words.

In truth, Arthur is nervous. This is the first time he's seen his best friend, his sister in over two years. Sure, they've kept in touch a little, sending messages here and there for birthdays and family holidays, but it isn't the same. He misses the days that Noa and her family would be round at his house between every race, and the summer breaks they would spend lounging by the beach in Rio de Janeiro. Though they're long gone now, they live in his memory as clearly as if they happened yesterday. Arthur knows, of course, the reason why they can never happen again — thanks to his idiot of a brother — but that never stops him from wishing he could go back in time and stop everything from playing out in the way that it has. Charles often forgets, whenever Noa is brought up in conversation, that the rest of his family loved her too. He isn't the only one who lost his best friend.

Despite the overwhelming urge Arthur has to both cry and apologise profusely at the same time when he sees her walk towards him, he ends up not having to do either of those things — Noa makes the decision for him, as she jumps into his arms without hesitation. It feels so natural to rest his head on her shoulder, as she presses a tender kiss to the side of his head. It's just like how things used to be.

"I missed you, 'Thur." she whispers.

Arthur echoes the words back to her. He can't help but hold on that little bit tighter, desperate to savour this moment for as long as he can. After all, there's no guarantee that, after everything, they will be able to do this again once the season starts.

The other café-goers are beginning to stare, so they soon take their seats opposite each other in the booth. There's no time to talk further, as a waiter soon wanders over to take their orders. It comes as a surprise to Noa that Arthur's coffee order hasn't changed, even after two years — a nutella mocha with chocolate flakes sprinkled on top. Pretty much the sweetest coffee he ever could have picked. She can't help but tease him about his infamous sweet tooth, which she remembers got him into trouble frequently when they were younger. Arthur rolls his eyes fondly, before she orders a simple black coffee.

He starts off the conversation nervously again. It's been so long since they last properly talked in person, and he knows she's changed a lot in those two years. Even if he didn't know all the reasons why, he would have been able to tell anyway. Something in Noa's eyes has changed dramatically. They're duller than Arthur remembers — that bright, mischievous spark has faded. He's familiar with it, of course, because he watched the same thing happen to his own brother's eyes after their father's death; but it's so drastic in Noa. She had always been able to light up a room with her eyes and smile, almost like she was the sun. Now it's as if someone has turned down a dimmer on her glow. She's just a shadow of what she used to be, and that worries Arthur.

"I'm good, everyone's good." she says in reply to his question: How are you and your family? It feels too formal, but it's all he can think to say. Besides, the words that come out of Noa's mouth are a lie, and he knows it, "Pai's still fixing up those old cars — remember the garage he opened that one summer? Yeah that's still going strong."

But as much as Arthur wants to call her out, to ask her how she's really feeling, he can't bring himself to. So he merely lets her talk.

"We got a puppy for mãe's birthday to keep her company at home when we're away." Noa continues with a small smile, "A German Shepherd called Paco. He's adorable."

She shows him a picture on her phone, and they both spend a few minutes cooing over videos of the tiny puppy tripping over things on his still slightly wobbly legs. Noa makes some throwaway comment about taking him to meet Paco, but Arthur doesn't hold her to the words. He knows how unlikely she is to stick to them.

"Oh! Did I tell you Luiz has got a girlfriend now?" Noa says with a sudden gasp. She knew there was something she needed to tell him, but for someone reason, the memory had completely escaped her until now. Arthur's eyes widen to the size of dinner plates, and he slaps a hand over his mouth dramatically.

"You're joking! No way he beat me to it." the Monégasque says with a small, defeated sigh, making Noa giggle loudly. It almost takes Arthur off guard — he hasn't heard her laugh in so long.

"It's as much of a shock to me as it is to you." she muses, shaking her head in disbelief, "She's really nice, as well — his girlfriend. Her name's Eloísa. She's a painter."

Noa met her little brother Luiz's girlfriend in the summer, about a month after they first started dating. At first, she'd thought they might be moving a bit quick, considering this was their first proper relationship for the both of them, but as soon as she caught sight of Eloísa dos Santos Alves, Noa somehow knew she was perfect for her brother. And sure enough, almost six months later, they're still going strong.

Eloísa is the chalk to Luiz's cheese, in the best way possible. She's the only person Noa has ever met who can balance out his excitable, erratic nature, with her calm, soothing presence and soft voice. Equally, Luiz helps to bring her out of her shell a little, making her feel more comfortable being outspoken in front of unfamiliar people in a way she never would be otherwise. Noa has watched them communicate with no more than looks in their eyes across the dining room table. The level of trust they've managed to build in their relationship already is like nothing she's ever seen, except for in her parents. Sometimes, Noa quietly wonders to herself if she will ever experience something like that — but she never lets her mind linger on it for too long. She'll only end up upsetting herself.

“Tell him the next time we see each other he’s got to give up his secrets.” Arthur says, only half-joking, “There’s no way he’s managed to pull this girl without some level of coercion, right?”

Noa snorts in a distinctly unrefined manner at that, earning her more than a few strange looks.

“Aww, I’m sure you’ll find a girl stupid enough to put up with you at some point, ‘Thur.” she tells him in a voice of mock-sympathy, reaching forwards to pinch his cheek. He slaps her hand away.

“Or I’ll be single forever.” He retorts glumly. Noa can’t help but shake her head at his dramatics. It’s something in the Leclerc genes, she thinks.

“Well, then we can both be single forever together.” she offers brightly, a smile lighting up her face, but once again not quite reaching his eyes. Arthur tilts his head to one side curiously.

“So no boyfriend?” he asks.

Noa’s cheeks turn ever so slightly pink, “That’s a conversation for another time.” she mutters. For the moment, Arthur lets it slide. She’s right, they have more important things to talk about, and he thinks that now is as good a time as any to broach the topic he’s been trying to avoid this whole time.

Though, surprisingly, Noa beats him to it.

“There’s actually something else I need to tell you.” she sighs quietly, internally readying herself for a difficult conversation. Arthur’s ears almost prick up, sensing the newfound seriousness in her voice, and sits up straighter in his seat, “It involves Charles, so I thought you should know.”

He doesn’t miss the way Noa winces at the mere mention of his name. It’s the saddest thing of all, he thinks. Once, not so long ago, he’d watched her face radiate happiness and adoration whenever Charles was brought up in conversation. Now it’s as if just thinking about it him pains her. Though intrigued by this surprise announcement, Arthur can’t help the terror that runs up his spine as he waits with bated breath for her to keep talking. He’s reminded awfully of their last conversation, where Noa could barely even string a sentence together between her sobs of pure rage. Incidentally, that was the last time either she or Charles spoke of each other to him. It’s been radio silence ever since.

“I’ve been offered a sponsorship deal to become the new face of Chanel No.5.” Noa blurts out suddenly, all in one breath. Arthur freezes for a split second. His brain seems to lag behind as it tries to process the words that have just come out of her mouth. Now, he may not know a lot about fashion or brands, but he does know Chanel, and he does have a rough idea of the kind of celebrities who have represented them before. It takes him a moment to shake himself out of his stupor, but as soon as he does, pure joy fills his body and creeps onto his face in the form of a smile so wide it makes his cheeks ache.

“Noa! Merde, that’s incredible!” he cries. The briefest of smiles passes across her face, but it does not last nearly as long as he would have thought, and its soon replaced by anxiety. Arthur’s own grin begins to fall off his face, “Why am I sensing there’s a but in here somewhere…”

The corners of Noa’s mouth twitch up ruefully, “Charles has been offered the same contract.” She explains, “Which means that we'll have to — well, we'll be doing a lot of promotional stuff together...photoshoots and interviews, that kind of thing."

Arthur winces.

“So you see why I have a bit of a problem?” Noa laughs humourlessly, “This is…an incredible opportunity, but – I don’t know if I can do it with him there. Not yet, anyway.” She sighs wearily, running a hand through her unruly curls. Her balaclava has knotted it even more than usual, and her fingers snag more than a few tangles before they can brush through the ends, “And that’s not even considering how he’s going to react to all this.” her teeth sink into her lower lip, hard enough that she knows she’s in danger of drawing blood, “Has he said anything?” she asks, her voice filled with anxiety.

“No.” Arthur shakes his head slowly, “He doesn’t really tell us much now, to be honest. But Noa…” he trails off with a quiet sigh, pausing for just a moment to contemplate his next words, “…Surely it’s not worth giving this up just because of a feud.”

For a split second, she feels annoyance flare up in her chest. It’s a flash of white hot flame running from the base of her spine upwards, lingering over her heart. But just as soon as she feels it, she pushes the sensation down. Arthur means well, she knows that – and if she’s being honest, he’s right.

“I know, I know.” She concedes, “It still hurts, though. I don’t –“ Noa’s voice catches in the lump forming in her throat. She bites back her emotions quickly, sadness and grief quickly replaced by that all-too-familiar rage. She hates that it still affects her so much – that she still regrets every single word spoken that night. Noa wishes, more than anything on earth, that she could simply forget it ever happened; forget him. “– I don’t know if I’m ready to see him again, to be honest.”

“Not to sound harsh,” Arthur says, his eyebrows raising up towards his hairline, “But you’re gonna have to be ready pretty soon. Once the season starts, you won’t really have much of a choice in the matter.” he murmurs anxiously. Noa watches his eyes slip out of focus slightly, as he seems to be consumed in his thoughts. She nods once again, knowing he’s right. Then, he seems to come to life again, sitting bolt upright in his seat so quickly she almost jumps back in shock, “And, if you think about it, maybe this could be a good thing!” he grins so widely and brightly at the prospect, she can’t bring herself to cut him off, “Maybe this will help you both start to make amends for what happened. You could be friends again!”

Noa lets out a shaky breath. No matter how hard she tries to smile back at him, to match his seemingly boundless optimism, she simply can’t do it. It’s not as if she hasn’t tried – for the first six months of the year, she spent hours sat staring at her phone, waiting, hoping that Charles might call. Despite everything, despite all the hurtful words they both said that night, Noa always had faith that he would come through. For six months, she fully believed that she would get her best friend back. She believed he would reach out to her, because if he didn’t then, in the time she needed him most, then she figured he never would.

That’s why Noa has so little faith now. Charles never contacted her. Even when she called him, even when she texted, there was never any reply. He abandoned her. She’d been there for him when he needed her the most, but he couldn’t even be bothered to pick up the phone when their roles were reversed. So Arthur may be able to say the sun hasn’t set on their friendship; he may be able to hope that they could patch things up, go back to the way things used to be – but Noa isn’t stupid. She won’t get her hopes up again; she simply can’t. If Charles lets her down a second time, she doesn’t think she’ll survive it.

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[upsidedownwithsteve]

The First Day Of Christmas

Steve Harrington x fem!reader [1.3K]

“Babe,” Steve’s voice was soft, coaxing. “C’mon, can we just pick one? It’s freezing.”

It was sweet, the way Steve called you ‘babe,’ the way he tried not to grumble too much, the way he pressed his hand to the small of your back. 

‘Cause you weren’t exactly together, weren’t really dating — not yet anyway. It was that in-between stage, slightly awkward at times, always flirty, way too touchy, that butterfly stage, that flushed cheeks, bright eyes, soft smiles kinda stage. 

More than best friends, just missing the official title, the first date, the first kiss. And you were okay with waiting, ‘cause you’d realised early on that despite Steve’s willingness to flirt and smirk and crack bad jokes, the more you got to know him, the more scared he was to completely give in to falling in love again. 

Besides, Robin once told you that a group of Sports Illustrated models could walk in mid shift and Steve would still be staring longingly at the phone, wondering when you’d call. 

So yeah, you were okay with waiting… and being called sweet names and being touched all softly. 

“It’s not that cold, Steve,” you lied. You sniffed and blinked, eyes a little watery and nose numb from the chill but you needled your arm through the boy’s and led him through the makeshift forest. “I won’t be long, I promise.”

So Steve followed, mainly because you were so close and he could feel you brush up against his side, even through the thick layer of his sweater and coat. Plus you looked too cute, far too adorable to ever say no to. Bobble hat wiggling when you moved, your scarf - his scarf - trailing too long down your front, a wine red colour and knitted by El and Joyce. 

The parking lot of the town hall had been made into a Christmas market for the holidays, a collection of tiny huts and stalls that sold hot cider and chocolate, too big pretzels and warm doughnuts, covered with sticky sugar. The candles that Mrs Peterson was selling made everything smell like cinnamon and clove, candied apples and mulled wine. 

Then there was the tree farm, off to the side, a small jungle of evergreens that added to the cacophony of scents, the air all spruce, fir and pine. They were stacked by size, some as small as three feet, others stretching up to twelve. 

You’d looked at those first, the huge, bushy pine trees that had scattered needles at their bases and Steve had snorted and shook his head as he dragged you away. 

“That’s not fitting in your house, sweetheart, never mind on the top of my car.”

So you’d spent the last forty minutes pursuing each tree that was left, eyes bright as you inspected their branches, their trunks for stability and even going as far as to shake them a little too energetically, turning to Steve with a solemn expression to explain: 

“Hopper says you gotta check for rogue squirrels.”

But now it was late, the sun setting too quick in December and nighttime started at four o’clock. The dark sky brought stars and the moon and a new kind of chill in the air that made your breath linger, your ears numb, your feet sore. 

It was the kind of night where Steve wanted to be at home, as empty as it was, with the fire roaring and some kind of hot drink in his hand, definitely wearing some soft sweatpants rather than his Levi’s which were stiff with the cold. 

And maybe, just maybe, after he dropped off your chosen tree in your garage, he could tempt you back to his for a movie and some popcorn. A date that wasn’t really a date, only because he was still too scared to call it as such. Steve liked you, really, really liked you and it was as terrifying as it was exhilarating. ‘Cause you turned to him with flushed cheeks and wide, bright eyes, glittering with excitement. 

“What about this one?” You were holding the branch of a short, fat fir tree — it was the perfect green but the circumference of the thing was impossibly wide. 

Steve grimaced, head tilting this way and that as he examined your choice. The salesman was lingering, edging in closer like he could smell the dollar signs amongst the chestnuts and candy canes. Steve glared at him. 

“I don’t know, it’s a little… stumpy, no?” Steve tried not to grin when you huffed, offended for the tree. “I don’t think it’ll fit, babe, you won’t be able to move around the damn thing.”

And then it began again, tugging Steve by his cold hand around the lines of trees, expressing interest in all the ones that were too big and too tall and too expensive. So when the edges of the sidewalks started to crystallise, icing over with silver glass, Steve stood too close behind you and hooked his chin on your shoulder.

His cheeks were rosy, nose a little pink and it was freezing when he nudged it to your cheek. You squeaked but didn’t try to hide from it, welcoming every part of his closeness, cold skin be damned. 

“How much longer?” He pouted. Steve really hated being cold. “What do I have to do to make you pick the next tree you see, huh?”

You smiled, body warming despite the cold ‘cause Steve made it sound so much more salacious than the words needed to be. 

You turned, cheek pressed to his until you could see his lashes out of the corner of your eye, the pink of his lips, until his aftershave stayed on your coat for the rest of evening.  

“Depends what you’re offering, Harrington,” you replied. 

It was too easy to flirt, especially when Steve was as pretty as he was. It wasn’t new, the teasing tones, the scandalous words, the way you both looked at each other, yearning, wanting. But what Steve said next? That was very, very new. 

“I’ll give you a kiss,” it was whispered, sweet words pressed to the apple of your cheek, like a secret, like a promise. And then, even softer, a little less sure sounding, “if you want.”

You turned, eyes wide, searching Steve’s. You looked for the humour there, the joke you expected to see but the boy was looking nervous and serious, lips bitten and parted, cheeks pink from more than the cold. 

“Yeah?” You asked and it sounded like ‘it’s time?’

“Yeah,” Steve answered and it sounded like ‘I’m sorry I kept you waiting.’

You picked the next tree you saw, rounding the corner to see a sad looking pine, too skinny, a little lopsided but you grinned and paid the man the twenty dollars he asked for, ignoring his strange look, ‘cause all you could see was the way Steve was grinning, lighting up the night brighter than summer itself. 

You almost forgot about the tree. Walking away without it, laughing a little too loudly when Steve ran back for it and starting dragging the poor thing across the parking lot. And when he finally wrestled it onto the roof of his car, ropes strapping it down a little haphazardly, he turned to you and couldn’t help but grin. 

You didn’t speak, neither did he. But you moved like it was choreographed, like you knew what to do, like you could read each other perfectly after waiting for so long. You leaned in, pushed up on your toes and Steve ducked down, hands clasping your cold cheeks, his colder fingers pushed to your jaw and you heard his little sigh before his lips met yours — the softest sound, relief, anticipation, happiness. 

He tasted like peppermint hot chocolate, candy canes and Christmas, and his lips were so much warmer than the rest of him. 

[lulublack90]

Prompt - Ticket

@jegulus-microfic December 29 Word count 671

“Where’s my ticket?” James grumbled as he scrolled through hundreds of emails, trying to find it. He kept every single email he ever got. It drove Remus mad. “I swear it was so much easier when they sent you an actual real-life ticket.” He was still grumbling at his phone.

“It was only easier for you, James because they got sent to me, so you never had to worry where you put it. Honestly, if you’d had them we’d never have gone to any concerts.” Remus huffed. 

James was still scrolling, only half listening to Remus. Remus had had enough. He plucked James’s phone out of his hand and used the search option in the email app. “There you go, and I’ve sent it over to my account as well and taken a screenshot of it. You have zero way of losing it now.” Remus looked up, “Though knowing you, you’ll still manage.” James chuckled fondly.

“Yeah, yeah. You love me, I know. Right, are we ready then?”

Remus grabbed James’s keys and wallet and locked up the flat before they set off for the bus stop. 

It didn’t take them long to get to the venue. They were seeing a relatively new band, Fighting the Stars.

They somehow managed to get stood at the front of the crowd, almost touching the stage. 

The band emerged from the sides, and the plinks and bangs of instrument checks started. Then, a long-haired, skinny man walked to the microphone. Remus let out a small gasp. 

“Hello,” He said, his voice silky and smooth. “I’m Sirius, and this,” He gestured to the man with the guitar standing in shadow. “Is my brother Regulus, and we,” He swung his arms to show the rest of the band. “Are Fighting the Stars!”

They started playing. They were good, really good. James was bobbing along and enjoying the dramatic movements of Sirius as he belted out the lyrics. He turned to Remus to see what he thought. But he was stood still, his eyes locked on Sirius, enchanted.

James rolled his eyes and went back to watching the stage. Sirius had pulled the mic out of the stand and was trying to drag his brother forward. There was a slight scuffle between them. Neither missed a word or a chord, but in the end, Sirius won. Regulus wandered into the light. James felt his jaw drop. He didn’t think it was a real thing, just something films did to the main characters. But it happened. 

Regulus caught him staring. He raised his eyebrows and gave him a little knowing smirk before winking at him. 

James and Remus spent the rest of the set spellbound, unable to move. 

Sirius called goodnight to the crowd as the band walked off stage. James and Remus’s heads followed the brothers until they were out of sight. They both let out a huff of air like they’d forgotten to breathe. 

“Well, that was something,” James murmured. Remus couldn’t talk at all and just nodded. 

Before they could say anything else, Sirius’s head popped back around the curtain. He looked right at Remus, waved and beckoned him over. Remus turned to James and shrugged his shoulders before scrambling up onto the stage and disappearing with Sirius. 

James looked at the shadowy exit Remus left through, hoping, then sighed and pulled out his phone to text Remus that he was going home. When he looked back up, Regulus was watching him, barely visible. He didn’t come out past the curtain as Sirius had. James felt his heart skip a beat. Yet another film moment he hadn’t realised was real. 

Regulus crooked one finger at him. As though an invisible line was attached to his navel tugging him forward and towards the waiting Regulus, he started walking. 

Oh well, he thought, I couldn’t have gone home anyway. Remus has my keys.

He followed Regulus into the back. He didn’t know if it was a good or a bad idea, but he was doing it anyway.  

[chifuyudck]

CHRISTMAS WITH THE BROTHERS

obey me brothers x gn!mc ~ SFW

summary: after talking lots about christmas on how you can’t wait for it, one of the brothers asked you “what is a christmas.” you were shocked, they didnt know what christmas was?!

a/n: guys i wrote this fic in summer break and i didn’t even post it on time, no way!! anyways enjoy! (sorry for grammar mistakes, english isn’t my first language)

——————————————————————���———

you were outside together with mammon, after you kept bugging him to go outside with you, he finally agreed, you recall him saying something like “my human can’t go nowhere without me.” this was kinda true, because lucifer wouldn’t allow you outside alone, since the snowy weather is way more extreme in devildom than in the human realm.

even when you were wearing thick layers of clothing, you couldn’t help but to shiver, which didn’t go unnoticed by mammon. he sighed looking at you, with slight worry in his eyes. “oi, human, how are ya’ still cold with all those damn layers of clothing? i don’ get ya’ at all.”

“i cant help it mammon, it’s cold here.” you reply, a tiny cloud from condense slips from your slightly parted lips. “i’m not that blind, ya’ know?” he pulled you closer to him, wrapping his arm around your waist. “what’s better than havin’ the great mammon warm ya’ up when you’re cold?” his cocky façade rather quickly breaks as a warm blush appears on his cheeks.

you giggled softly and nodded in agreement, it was nice to have him warm you up, “what’s up with you wantin’ to go outside all the time anyways?” he suddenly asked. “umm.. i just love snow, and the month december in general, because it reminds me of christmas!” you said awfully excited. mammon slowly nodded, having no clue what christmas is, but it hurts his ego too much to ask a mere human what the meaning of the word is.

a notification was heard on both of your d.d.d, mammon grabbed his first, “hm? oh, levi says dinner is almost ready, ‘nd we should come home before beel starts eatin’ it all.” you both sighed, mammon because his alone time with you was over, and you because you haven’t spent much time in the snow, than you wish you could’ve.

luckily you were not that far away from the house of lamentation, as soon as you got inside you went towards your bedroom to take off all the layers of clothes you had put on. after you had freshen up and changed your clothes you walked into the dining room, which was quite chaotic since lucifer was the only brother not there yet.

you sat between satan and belphie, who were both saving a spot for you, “finally you’re here mc, it was boring without you.” satan said, having belphie nod in agreement. “mc, wanna do something to make us feel less bored?” you looked at belphie in confusion, “umm, sure?” you said not knowing what to expect from them.

“what! you want me to pie-face lucifer, are you crazy?” you said, causing a sigh slip from belphie’s lips. “it’s alright, no pressure mc.” satan said, although it would’ve been a funny sight seeing that happen to lucifer he understands your answer.

as soon as lucifer steps into the dining room, the brothers start devouring their foods, you start eating too, spacing a bit out while looking around in the dining room, you come to the realisation that there aren’t any christmas decorations in this room, no, there aren’t any christmas decorations in the whole house!

after swallowing the piece of food you had been chewing on, you part your lips to ask a question, “so why aren’t there any christmas decorations around the house? it’s almost christmas..” your question causes some eyes to pop up to you, and some are too focused on the meal before them.

your eyes shoot over to lucifer, as he clears his throat and seems like he’s about to say something, “i’m not quite sure what ‘a christmas’ is, mc.” then your eyes shoot over to asmo who seems like he’s about to say something too. “hmm, now that you mention it, i never really understood anything you said about this christmas thing, hon.”

you look at them in confusion, suddenly satan starts speaking, “i have read something about christmas before, it’s some sort of holiday, i didn’t really understand what it was all about though.” you were shocked, this must be some crazy prank they’re pulling on you… no.. lucifer wouldn’t play a part in pranks, and mammon has been awfully quiet, right… mammon knew what christmas was, right?

your eyes shot up to mammon, who tries to avoid looking in your eyes, “mammon, you know what christmas is right? we talked about it just now..” mammon simply nods, keeping quiet. you squint your eyes, he’s lying. you take a moment to think this through. “wait… am i about to introduce you all to christmas?!” only thinking about it makes you squeal in excitement.

all the brothers looked at you a bit confused, except for beel, who didn’t even mind gazing towards you since he was a bit too busy with finishing his 4th plate already.

——————————————————————————

LUCIFER

lucifers’ room was up for christmas decoration, all though you weren’t really sure if you’d even get him far enough to decorate his room. you knocked on his door twice, hearing a soft sentence of your approval to enter from him, you didn’t waste a second to open the door.

“lucifer, your room is up for christmas decoration!” you exclaim excitedly, you walk in with a box filled with different types of decorations. “i’m not that interested mc, you should spare it for the rest of the house instead.” you immediately shake your head, as expected, he’d make some form of an excuse.

“no excuses lucifer! i’m already unpacking. and is that classical music i’m hearing? didn’t i tell you to listen to christmas music instead?” you shake your head in disappointment. “i only listen to music from recorders, whereas i don’t own any christmas recorders.” lucifer said, you grabbed something from your box, a christmas recorder, “i got it just for you!” you walk over to swap the recorders, the first song that starts playing is joy to the world, you noticed lucifer looked a bit annoyed, he’ll get over it soon anyways.

you walked back to the box with decorations, you were going to keep it as small as possible since you knew lucifer would be upset if you made too many changes in his room. you reached out for a christmas sock you made for him, with his name sewn on it and having cute reindeer patterns.

you tip-toed to reach out for the part of the wall you wanted to hang it on, but to your surprise, you couldn’t quite reach it. your eyes went around the room, searching for something you could possibly stand on to hang the sock up. this didn’t go unnoticed by lucifer, he stood up from his desk and walked away from his office, into the bedroom that was attached to it, and where you were.

he took the sock from your hands and hung it perfectly on the spot where you wanted it to be, you smiled softly at him. “thank you, lucifer.” you said, he reflected your soft smile back to you, “it’s nothing.”

you pick up the box from the ground, ready to leave his room, as you turn around to leave, lucifer’s voice sounds, “hold on… is this everything my room gets?” he asks, he actually doesn’t really care about the decorations, he just likes it when you accompany him. “hm? i thought you wouldn’t like more decorations..” you say, actually surprised. “well, you’re wrong then, mc… i’ll help you decorate the rest of the house too... i just don’t want you to get injured, because that would be hurting lord diavolo’s image…” he says, you nod, excited. “alright, let's get started then!”

——————————————————————————

MAMMON & BEELZEBUB

you were humming a familiar christmas song quietly, while making your way to the kitchen. as you enter the room, like usual, beel is rummaging through differents cabins and the refrigerator. “hi, mc.” beel mumbles while chewing on some crisps satan had left on the counter.

your eyes quickly fall upon the box on the table, which pulls a relieved sigh from you. when you start opening the box, beel’s eyes shoot towards you, most likely because of the sound of the plastic wrap around the various foods. “what’s that?” beel asks curiously as he gets closer.

“a gingerbread house! do you want to make one together?” you ask him, and he quickly replies with an excited nod. he truly is adorable, no clue what a gingerbread house is, but still willing to play a part in making them.

as you start working on getting the gingerbread intact, beel unconsciously gets closer, really close to the point we’re he’s standing behind you, and towering over you, to reach the gingerbread house on the kitchen table.

a small blush creeps on your cheeks, however beel doesn’t even seem to notice how close you guys truly are. not like you mind, it’s peaceful working together like this.

that is until a loud mammon barges into the kitchen, “where’s mc- here ya are!” he says excitedly, beel unconsciously moves away from you as mammon gets closer. mammon points at the gingerbread house with raised eyebrows. “what’s that… thing?”

“a gingerbread house.” you and beel both say in union, mammon shrugs, still unsure what that means. “you wanna help? mc is really good at making them!” beel asks mammon, which turns your lips in a soft smile. mammon gazes at you for a second, and starts blushing, “leave it to me!”

now you have both mammon and beel standing behind you and towering over you, looking closely at your creation which you are still working on. with mammon’s rather special questions he comes up with, and beel eating the decoration, the three of you manage to finish the gingerbread house quickly.

——————————————————————————

LEVIATHAN & ASMODEUS

as you we’re tying your shoe laces together, a busy leviathan almost stumbled over your crouched figure. he lets out a gasp, dropping his phone, which he held horizontally, on the floor. “a-are y-you ok-kay?” he asks with a flushed face, flustered by what happened.

you let out a soft giggle as you nod, “i’m fine, levi.” he lets out a relieved sigh and fetches his phone from the ground. as you finish tying your shoes, you stand up and realise he’s wearing a coat. “are you heading out, levi?” you ask quite surprised, since levi barely goes outside, even for school.

“yeah, i’m going to a second-hand figurines store, supposedly there’s a rare TSL-figure of the lord of corruption from volume 2, you could only get one in a specific TSL-convention, sadly they ran out before i could get my hands on one.” he says in almost one breath, you chuckle softly, intrigued by how quickly levi starts oversharing when he’s excited.

“well since i’m heading out to buy christmas presents, we should go together?” you ask him, a blush creeps on his cheeks and before he can reply with loads of stuttering, asmodeus chirps throughout the hallway. “take me with you!”

you both turn towards an excited asmo, which makes you smile softly at him. “sure, come with us.” quickly the aura shifts, which gives you a frightened feeling, levi is envying asmo over this interreaction. you quickly place your hand in levi’s which makes him forget about asmo. and the three of you go outside.

asmo is hanging onto your arm, getting closer and closer by the second, while levi is barely holding your hand since he’s too flustered to strengthen his grip, the difference between them makes you giggle. “what’s so funny?” asmo asks, genuinely curious, “nothing.” you snicker.

——————————————————————————

SATAN

you’re in satan’s bedroom, sitting on his bed in particular. you’re just fiddling with your d.d.d while satan reads a book about different holidays. “who came up with the idea of bringing bad kids to spain if they misbehave?” your eyes shoot up to him as he suddenly starts quizzing you.

“what?” you let out a laugh as you crawl closer to him, to see where he got that information from. he looks at you with raised eyebrows as he’s unsure of what this means.

“i think this is a different traditional holiday, satan.” you snicker, and his eyes widen, “i think this one is from, the netherlands.” you tell him. he closes the book with a satisfying thud and lets a sigh as he lays down on his bed. “i hate to say it, but i don’t understand these holidays at all.” he says.

you chuckle and lay down next to you, fitting precisely between a pile of books and satan. “do you want me to explain it to you, again?” you ask him, he nods and turns towards you. although you’ve already explained it to him a few times, you don’t mind telling him again.

——————————————————————————

BELPHEGOR

on december 24th, everyone is getting ready for the evening you planned, it was christmas eve, you noticed everyone was busy getting ready except belphegor.

which a soft sigh you knock on the twins’ bedroom door, which beel immediately opens, “hi mc- wow, you look amazing.” he says, you smile softly as a blush creeps on your cheeks. “thanks beel.” you say.

beel unnanounced lets you into the bedroom, and your eyes fall upon belphie’s sleeping figure in his bed. as you make your way closer to him beel mentions that belphie has been napping for a while now. you sit on belphegor’s bed and pull his comforters away slightly. a chuckle errupts from you as you notice that belphie is already wearing a suit.

since you’re already ready to go, you decide to help belphie get ready. by starting off with combing his soft hair, you had never noticed how healthy it truly was. you use one of his colognes on him, which makes him sniffle a bit. beel looks at the both of you with admiration as he loves his favourite people caring about each other.

he continues sleeping peacefully until he stirs awake when you put a face mask on him. “mc? what are you doing here?” he mumbles, obviously still drowsy. “helping you get ready, you fell asleep belphie.” you tell him softly, and help him sit up while he lets out a yawn.

you remove the face mask from his now soft and glowing face while he stares at you in awe. “hmm, oh.. your mascara smudged.” he mumbles, and he wipes it away with his finger. now you’re both helping each other get ready.

[calmasyoghurt]

The joker out pride project.

One last chapter, in the form of letters. Also on ao3.

Chapter 30, prompt 27. Future/growing old.

January 4th 2023

My dear Nace. One month ago today I asked you to be my boyfriend. You said yes. It’s one of the best yes’s I’ve heard in my life. It got me the blessing of getting to stay over at your place, the blessing of kissing you good morning and good night, and the blessing of getting your mighty D. Sorry for that last part, but it had to be said. But that yes also got me a new years kiss. A new years kiss sweeter than any I’ve had before. When you pulled away, you didn’t wish me a happy new year, but a happy birthday instead. None of the other new year kisses I’ve had have even known my birthday. But you do, and you made sure to make that the subject of the first words you spoke this year.

One day I might let you know how special you make me feel. One day I might let you read this letter. One day I might tell you that I love you more than anyone I’ve ever loved before. Because I do. Maybe I’m a lovesick idiot, or maybe I’m a sick idiot in love. Either way, I want you in my life for as long as you’ll let me have you.

With love, from Jan.

***

February 3rd 2023

My dear Nace. Yesterday you officially met my parents for the first time. They absolutely loved you. It doesn’t surprise me, it’s quite difficult not to love you. Or maybe that’s just my opinion, seeing how I’m madly in love with you. I told you that yesterday too. Maybe I didn’t use those exact words, but as we were on our way to my parents house I told you that I love you for the first time. Your smile got so big, showing of those adorable dimples. Then you said you love me too and it made my heart melt. You make me so happy. Once again, I want you in my life for as long as you’ll let me have you.

With love, from Jan.

***

June 1st 2023

My dear Nace. Today is the first day of pride month. Today we told the rest of the band that we’re together. Of course, Kris already knew. You knew that Kris knew. I tell him everything about me the second it happens. But he’s a really good secret keeper, he didn’t even tell Bojan. But today we told Bojan and Jure too. They were nothing but happy for us. It would have been weird otherwise, seeing how they’re also in gay relationships with people in the band/crew. I'm so happy for us too. I'm happy that I finally found a guy that I can see a future with. Because I can, I see a future with you Nace. I can see us moving in together, growing old together, maybe even getting married. If we do get married, then I'll give you these letters then. I'll continue to write to you until that day.

With love, from Jan.

***

December 4th 2023

My dear Nace. One year ago today, you woke up and decided that after fucking me three times, you were finally sure that you were gay. You woke me up and told me so before fucking me once more. Just as we were coming down from our orgasms, I asked you to be my boyfriend. I was nervous for no reason, because you said yes. Now we've been together for a year, one of the best ones of my life. Not only because of you, but for the things we've achieved with the band. When we get back home, this time we'll come home to our home for the first time. You've moved in with me, and I couldn't be happier. You weren't spending that much time in your own place anyways. You're now officially my live in partner. I like that.

With love, from Jan.

***

Febuary 19th 2024

My dear Nace. We almost went public with our relationship. Damon took pictures of us, ones of us kissing. We almost posted them, but I got scared. I realised I'm not brave enough to have the entire world know. We're going on tour, and if we would have made it public, everyone would have asked questions I'm not comfortable answering. I hope you understand that. You said you do. I love you so much for always understanding. I love you so much for all the other things too. I want you in my life for as long as you’ll let me have you. Maybe I'll ask you to marry me sometime.

With love, from Jan.

***

December 4th 2024

My dear Nace. I haven’t written a letter like this for a long time. Instead I’ve spend time with the version of you I have right now. The best version of you, the one I’ve had, have, and will have right in front of me. It doesn’t matter if you change, the way you are when we’re alone, together, will always be my favorite version of you. Right now, you’re sleeping in my bed, our bed, and you’re as beautiful as usual. It’s almost weird to think how for the past year, my bed has also been your bed. You, who have been my love for the past two years. I’m looking forward to so many more. Now I'll try to go to bed so that you can wake me up with anniversary-breakfast-in-bed in the morning.

With love, from Jan.

***

June 2nd 2025

My dear Nace. We met your parents yesterday. You were so nervous. I was too, to be honest, but I tried not to let it show. I thought it would be akward, you were scared that they'd change their mind about being in contact. But everything went alright. Maybe they won't be walking a pride parade anytime soon, but at least they want you in their life again. They don't even seem to dislike me, so I'm satisfied with the visit. When we got home you were so happy. I was happy for you. Your family is not only made up of the band anymore, but your parents as well.

With love, from Jan

***

June 20th 2025

My dear Nace. It's been a weird couple of days. We've finally come out publicly. It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. We all did it together, the entire band. It feels better that way. I wrote in my Instagram post that I've found a boy I'm willing to marry. It's a true statement. For the first time ever I'm sure about wanting to get married. Yesterday I told you me and Kris were going out for coffee. In reality, we went to a jewler so that we both could buy engagement rings. I'll ask you to marry me when we go on vacation in August. I'm ready to spend the rest of my life with you.

With love, from Jan.

***

August 14th 2025

My dear Nace. It's rather comical how it all turned out. We went on a hike today, and I had planned to propose to you by a waterfall. But when we got there, you got to it before I could. You got down on one knee, and asked me to marry you. Of course I said yes. I decided that you couldn't completely steal my idea, so when you'd put the ring on my finger, I pulled my own ring box out of my pocket. By the time I was down on one knee, we were both laughing so much I could barley ask the question. But when I did, you said yes. So, you're officially not my boyfriend anymore. You're my beautiful fiancé who I'll love and cherish forever. I can't wait until we're husbands.

With love, from Jan.

***

May 3rd 2026

My dear Nace. We've managed to plan a wedding in just eight and a half months. Not that it will be a big one, but it has still been hectic. Tomorrow we'll be walking down the isle, together, to become husbands. We'll be getting ready together too. The guys will be there, but I'll make sure to get a moment alone for just the two of us. It's then that I'll give you these letters. I'll give you all of them, and I'll hope you'll like them. Now, one last sleep before you're mine and I'm yours until death do us apart.

With love, from Jan.

***

June 30th 2089

My dear Nace. It's your birthday today. You would have been 95. But you're not here anymore. I got more than 66 years with you, and I couldn't have enjoyed them more. Your smile and laugh could make my entire day better. Your smile was the last expression I ever saw you do. You said 'we'll meet again, soon'. I took your hand and it made you smile. Then you closed your eyes and suddenly you were just gone. I miss you so much, every day. But we'll meet again, soon. I'm not that young myself either, I won't be staying here for too long. Now I will wrap this letter up. Then our lovely granddaughter Sofia will take me to your grave so that I can leave this for you there. The head stone we got is really nice, just the way we said we would have it. My name and date of birth is already on it. They'll just have to add the day I die when they've put me down next to you. At some point we'll be together again. I still love you, so much.

With love, from Jan.

[morningshush]

Sirius Black would absolutely have a love-hate relationship with ABBA — they are literally singing about his life:

The album ABBA was released April 21, 1976, when Sirius was in his fourth year and he

1) finally kissed Remus:

So I made up my mind

It must come to an end

Look at me now, will I ever learn?

I don’t know how

But I suddenly lose control

There’s a fire within my soul

Just one look and I can hear a bell ring

One more look and I forget everything, whoa

Mamma mia, here I go again

My my, how can I resist you?

(Mamma Mia)

2) told Severus to go to the Whomping Willow during a full moon…

Where are those happy days

They seem so hard to find

I tried to reach for you, but you have closed your mind

Whatever happened to our love? I wish I understood

It used to be so nice, it used to be so good…

So, when you’re near me, darling, can’t you hear me

S.O.S.

The love you gave me, nothing else can save me, S.O.S.

[…]

You seem so far away though you are standing near

You made me feel alive, but something died I fear

(S.O.S.)

3) realised the he loved Remus and told him:

Love me or leave me, make your choice but believe me

I love you

I do, I do, I do, I do, I do

I can’t conceal it, don’t you see, can’t you feel it?

[…]

So come on, now let’s try it

I love you, can’t deny it

'Cause it's true

(I do, I do, I do, I do, I do)

The album Arrival was released October 11, 1976, when Sirius was in his sixth year.

First of all, he’s the dancing queen:

Night is young and the music’s high

With a bit of rock music, everything is fine

(Dancing Queen)

Secondly, he’s run away from home and Regulus joined the Death Eaters:

I’ve seen it on your face

Tells me more than any worn-out old phrase

So now we’ll go separate ways

Never again we two

Never again, nothing I can do…

Like an image passing by

My love, my life

In the mirror of your eyes

My love, my life

I can see it all so clearly

Answer me sincerely

Was it a dream, a lie?

[…]

But I know I don’t possess you

So go away, God bless you

You are still my love and my life

Still my one and only

(My Love, My Life)

The Album was released December 12, 1977.

About Sirius and Remus:

I was an impossible case

No one ever could reach me

[…]

I'm a bashful child beginning to grow

And you make me talk

And you make me feel

And you make me show

What I'm trying to conceal

If I trust in you

Would you let me down?

Would you laugh at me

If I said I care for you?

[…]

Your smile, and the sound of your voice

And the way you see through me

Got a feeling, you give me no choice

But it means a lot to me

(The Name of the Game)

Also I have no idea if there were karaoke-bars in England in 1977, but in my head the marauders go to a karaoke-bar and they encourage Lily to go up on stage and do a song, which she is reluctant to but then caves in and starts singing Thank You For The Music with the loveliest voice and most enticing eyes and James m e l t s

Voulez-vous was released April 23, 1979, the year Regulus dies.

Remus to Sirius:

How I hate to see you like this

There is no way you can deny it

I can see that you're oh, so sad, so quiet

[…]

You were always sure of yourself

Now I see you’ve broken a feather

(Chiquitita)

Super Trouper was released November 3, 1980.

About Sirius and Remus:

Touch my soul, you know how

Andante, andante

Go slowly with me now

I'm your music, I’m your song

Play me time and time again and make me strong

Make me sing, make me sound

Andante, andante

Tread lightly on my ground

Andante, andante

Oh, please don’t let me down

(Andante, Andante)

In the summer of 1981, Sirius got sick of the war and decided to take Remus with him for a weekend in Paris:

The summer air was soft and warm

The feeling right, the Paris night

Did its best to please us

And strolling down the Élysées

We had a drink in each café

And you, you talked of politics, philosophy and I smiled like Mona Lisa

We had our chance

It was a fine and true romance

[…]

I can still recall our last summer

I still see it all

Walks along the Seine, laughing in the rain

Our last summer

Memories that remain…

We made our way along the river

And we sat down in the grass

By the Eiffel tower

I was so happy we had met

[…]

We took the chance

Like we were dancing our last dance

I can still recall our last summer

I still see it all

In the tourist jam, round the Notre Dame

Our last summer

Walking hand in hand

Paris restaurants

Our last summer

Morning croissants

Living for the day

Worries far away…

(Our Last Summer)

They toasted to many more summers like those, but it really was their last…

The Visitors was released November 30, 1981. A month earlier, Lily and James were murdered, Peter disappeared and Sirius was imprisoned.

Sirius in Azkaban:

One of us is crying, one of us is lying

In her lonely bed

Staring at the ceiling

Wishing she was somewhere else instead

One of us is shaking with a heart that’s breaking

One of us is lonely, one of us is only

Waiting for a call

Sorry for herself, feeling stupid, feeling small

Wishing she had never left at all

(One of Us)

Remus:

Do I really see what’s in her mind?

Each time I think I’m close to knowing

She keeps on growing

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table

Barely awake, I let precious time go by

Then when she’s gone, there's that odd melancholy feeling

And a sense of guilt I can’t deny

What happened to the wonderful adventures

The places I had planned for us to go?

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Well, some of that we did, but most we didn’t

And why, I just don’t know

(Slipping Through My Fingers)

Bonus:

Knowing Me, Knowing You is Remus walking through Grimmauld Place after Sirius’s death:

No more carefree laughter

Silence ever after

Walking through an empty house

Tears in my eyes

Here is where the story ends, this is goodbye

[findafight]

Hey! Do you have any headcanons or ideas RE Mr & Mrs Buckley? (Or Mr & Mrs Harrington?)

I like to imagine that Robin’s parents have some suspicions that Robin *maybe* isn’t straight. Melissa *desperately* wants to say something, let Robin know that they love and accept her no matter what (when she finally does come Melissa’s like “You could become a cop or join the army and I’d still love you!”). Richard is very firm that they should leave it be and let Robin come to them if she’s ready.

This doesn’t stop Melissa from dropping hints, trying to prod Robin into opening up to her, but all Robin hears is “Mom is already scared I’m gonna die a spinster”.

This is part of the reason they’re wary of Steve when he starts hanging around. Like, he’s a nice enough boy - if they were sure that Robin liked boys, he’d be a lovely little son in law.

Oooh yes I love her parents I know the companion novels are only like. Half canon but greatest gift we got was Hippie Christmas. (I like to headcanon that Richard and Melissa have a bunch of friends who go by the names they choose in the 60s. Robin's got at least an aunt Periwinkle, and an uncle Salmon [goes by Sal for short!])

Mr. Buckley is the son of Italian immigrants and spoke it at home growing up, Mrs. Buckley was the daughter of French immigrants and did the same, which is how Robin first got her love of language speaking three different ones at home! Richard Buckley loves to cook and little chicklit Robin helped him with a special kitchen foot stool 🥺 and also he is very dad-shaped I think. Melissa probably is the one between the two to decide she's going to read war and peace in one sitting (original Russian optional) and make derisive noises at parts she doesn't like but won't elaborate on what happened. Also she is probably the one to play an instrument (maybe saxophone or bassoon?) There is at least one Buddha in the Buckley house.

I think her parents are supportive to the best of their abilities. Maybe they were in a really welcoming scene before Robin was born (also. Depending on when Robin was born [I've said she's a December 67 baby in a fic but I'm really not picky] she could be a summer of love baby and when she realised this she was horrified and refused to acknowledge it ever again lmao.) And so they pick up some...vibes when Robin was young and would moon over pretty teachers or princesses, give each other Significant Looks when she did.

Robin's line about her mom reminding her she rambles I think is just natural strain between parent and child, and possibly even her mom trying in an awkward and seemingly harsh way to protect her because Robin does have some clearly neurodivergent traits, which people can find off putting and she might be picked on for.

Love what you're putting down with Mrs. Buckley saying they'd always love her to show they'll stay by her if she comes out. But I think the delivery would be more. "Robin, we will always love you. Always..." Here she paused to think of something that isnt about being gay but would still convince Robin even if they thought it was bad they'd be there. "Even if you...decided you wanted to be a c-🤢 a cop. Or maybe even...🤢 Joined the🤮 military..." While Mr. Buckley is looking at his wife trying to charade to her that this is NOT a convincing speech!!

When they meet Steve and he and Robin are just hanging all over each other and bickering, and the Buckleys have to take a step back because did they get it wrong? They like Steve and he seems delighted to meet them and spend time with Robin and is so obviously fond of her... Of course people can like both but they were pretty sure Robin didn't...but her and Steve fit together so nicely.....except when Melissa brings up that it'd be perfectly alright for her to introduce Steve as her boyfriend Robin makes a gagging sound and screeches that he is her best friend and just because she sometimes want to crawl into his brain does not mean she ever wants to crawl into his pants.

Neither Melissa or Richard Buckley actually know what to do with that.