#OOOOF DID I HATE HOW IT CAME OUT

[floydsteeth]

To celebrate finishing Gils route Saturday!!!

>:3

[fareehaandspaniards]

Hi Fareeha! I was wondering, about your bloodborne ships what was your first impressions of them?

What intrigued you and what happen that made you like them that much now? Or did it just came naturally? ;)

I am sorry it took so long! It's 1 PM right now, I managed to GOT up somehow lol... Don't even remember how fell asleep yesterday. Also was occupied with fanfic, trying my best, etc... But to the topic:

Since my first ship was gehrmaria, I’ll start with it.

Romance, sadness, age difference... An old hunter grieving for his beloved who has passed away. All this reminded me of old european ballads that I was reading in my 16... A very beautiful story, unexpectedly romantic for Bloodborne (although it can be interpreted in different ways, not only romantically, but still it is fascinating). Let me add that they both look aesthetically stunning! They are classical, they are tragical, they are... perfection.

First impression for all other ships was: "How do you guys know anything about them?? There is nothing in game about them!!! How can you ship Caryll, mf is not even NPC?? Where do you get an information?? Who tf is Edgar? Oh, I killed him?..."

I swear I was shocked, when learned that fandom has CRAZY amount of ships. First Playtrough I barely got who is Laurence lmao, what IS Healing Church and so on... I can say sincerely - I started to Really understand, why is Valtr insane, why Laurence is VICAR, not bishop, why Annalise's hair are white and not brown, who tf can be siblings in a damned Research Hall and etc ONLY because of @katyahina timeline. My brain can't contain SO MANY info I swear, but I am trying, getting Insight every time I read this (in a good way ofc, I want to see Amygdalas in my sweet Yharnam-like city!)

So. Ships with Micolash. At first I brought him together with my hunter, Guillermo, and was pleased with myself - my story for them sounded convincing, thoughtful and hot xdd Guillermo - a madly in love hunter who, for seeing a drop of light in Micolash (in his past) and hearing Kos's whispers, is ready to die a hundred times, endure literally everything... Poor man! xD And Micolash who is insane enough to feel neverending cycle of NewGames, I mean, that he may even remember that he died already from hunter's hand, that hunter killed him 4 different ways, and I think Micolash would be frightened and lost? He genuinely thought that Nightmare is a perfect realm, HIS realm, but it turns out that someone else is good as Micolash himself to eat cords and ascend but succesfully. Oooof. I like that, Love and Despair, Love/Hate and etc. Oc x canon is really fine, when there are FEELINGS and TENSION between your char and canonical char.

After some time I got to know that silly guy with glasses on from a bridge is somehow really interesting deep character! xD And he's a cutie himself! (I mean look at him. My sweet accountant, my beloved nerd, and it's not a sarcasm!! He looks exquisite) I really like Edgar x Micolash for my beloved love/hate theme, slight toxicity and Edgar’s unspoken dependence on his enemy (Micolash is often made too “submissive” in their pairing. He may be and even must be bottom, but he is too much dominant as a person to be so naive and crying because Edgar-senpai is ignoring him). Edgar is a choir boy, soft, afraid of Micolash, is angry with him, but inside he cannot live without his attention. And Micolash - I think he liked Edgar as something unusual, fresh in his life (or death), something absolutely different from everything he had seen. Moreover, a spy. Moreover, he is so confident in the Church. But can change his opinion and most likely will. A perfect object of entertainment and moral debate. You can break him and win him over to your side. Nice pairing. I'm still in love.

Laurence x Micolash - kjdsflak;sdjfwernmfklaaaawoooooo!!!11!1! This ship is driving me crazy, I can't!! xD They look great together, they are similar, they are two brilliant minds seeking for knowledge, two scientists, two rivals, two assholes. But it seems to me that they would definitely have separated, because such similar people are unlikely to be together for a long time. I mean, they both need primacy too much. And it would destroy them. I also don't like Laurence, I can't help it. Maybe because I still don't fully understand his character?.. Maybe.

Damian x Micolash - amazing! I am now captivated by this pairing and am writing a story based on it. They are beautiful combination of an adult, serious Damian and an energetic, hot-tempered Micolash, as a couple they are divine. Damian... still waters run deep and all that. He is strong, thoughtful, cold, he can knock out any threat to his loved one. As a former Tomb Prospector and a Mensis Scholar, a byrgerkinght student, he must be really educated and smart, but also well-built and powerful, graceful and deadly. Micolash is his master and also a little boy. I headcanon that Damian is like 15 years older than him? And that's great. Wonderful, soft ship with a deep conflict of Damian's humanity and Micolash's curiosity and confidence.

Am I shipping anything else? With such passion - no. But in general, I like Laurence/Ludwig, Caryll/Rom, recently one nice person helped me realize the potential of Micolash/Adeline and I am kinda hmmmmm interested? XD I need more time to think of it. I met this pairing earlier but was like "pppft they couldn't even met!", don't blame me :'D

I respect all pairings, if they have something like plot in them. It’s especially nice to see when an artist or writer is truly devoted to his favorite couple and describes it with soul, it just makes you look at the couple from a different angle and start scrutiny.

[disco-tea]

What's your take on Spike in LMPTM? Cause it's always an ep I struggle with. I can see the viewpoint that Spike lacks true remorse and the way he speaks of Nikki is horrible, but at the same time, part of me thinks most of his rant is deliberately antagonistic and full of bluster and bullshit solely because of HOW Robin sought revenge. It always came off to me very much like "you want to fuck with my brain, I'll do the same to you". I feel like it was the action of trying to turn Spike into something he's not in order to justify the kill that makes Spike as cruel as he is in that ep.

Oooof yeah…Lies My Parents Told Me is…an episode for sure. I totally get struggling with it because honestly it’s all in the writing…it’s Like That™️ because of the writer. So just a bit of background info here: LMPTM was written by David Fury and he really hated Spike, or rather specifically the way the audience had sympathy for Spike (and that people shipped him with Buffy). And he admitted he wrote Spike that way in that episode because he ‘wanted to show the audience Spike was still a bad person even with a soul.’ He also did some other crappy stuff with that episode like deliberately casting an actress to play Anne that Fury thought looked like SMG because he thought he was making some sort of cLeVeR commentary on Spuffy. And also that’s why he named her Anne.

Anywho, it’s a little hard for me (personally) to look past the Doylistexplanation which is the writer was being an ass and wanted to get one last jab in before the series was over. And tbh even Fury aside…I don’t know what they were trying to do with Robin, I’m not sure the writers even knew tbh. I think they were just kinda throwing stuff at the wall and seeing what stuck. I don’t think they planned out Robin’s arc or role or development very well, and it probably would’ve been handled better had the episode that concluded that arc not been given to Fury, because ultimately instead of trying to write a good story, he turned it into a weapon to use against the audience like Fury does with so many of his episodes. Like see, see how horrible he is, why don’t you hate him? He’s a terrible person. So yeah, the whole thing really could’ve been handled better.

BUT, looking for a in-universe explanation, I think that is a good one. I mean the First was already messing with Spike’s head, and Robin just used that against him for revenge without really thinking of the implications outside of that.

I think in some ways the episode gets close to hitting Spike’s characterization for the season (but misses because it’s written in the interest of villainizing the character) which is that, no, Spike doesn’t want forgiveness or ‘redemption’…because he doesn’t think he deserves it. He doesn’t ask for forgiveness because he doesn’t want to be forgiven, he doesn’t think having a soul and being sorry makes up for what he’s done to anybody. That’s why he tries to hide the fact he has a soul from Buffy, why he tries to pretend multiple times in the season that nothing has changed about him. He’s not there to be forgiven or absolved, he’s there to help and try to do the right thing now and help save the world (or die trying).

Anyway, that’s my take on it. I know it’s not a very definitive one, but I think LMPTM is really one of those episodes everybody (who likes Spike at least) has to find their own interpretation of because it wasn’t written with good intentions or in the interest of a cohesive or positive character arc.

[lurkingteapot]

Only Friends เพื่อนต้องห้าม Ep 4

Nearly two weeks late and I'm finally, finally getting around to catching up with my favourite mess.

Live watch notes!

Oh wow, we're starting out right away on the heavy stuff, huh

oh god Khaotung's acting, He's so good.

there's that word again, "burden"

thank fuck Mew cottoned on to this being a goodbye

I somehow fully expected Ray to just drop the phone into the tub

he's sitting in the EMPTY tub??? was this just for mess prevention? oh Ray, oh baby.

No, love, no, your mum did not die because of you.

HELL YEAH CHEUAM'S A LESBIAN (sorry, I'm just so excited to hear a girl actually SAY it) (but also Ray being a hit with the wlw tracks)

ooh wait wait, these shirts-- is this the make-out night?

also Ray I get you probably don't mean it like that, but you're sorta … guilt-tripping Mew here.

love the way this kinda tells us audience members a) the backstory of Ray taking that call b) that Mew's rejected Ray before c) that Ray was so desperately seeking connection that he came off weirdly manipulative about it

GOD Khaotungggg

this is shot very prettily but also what the fuck, Boston, is EVERYTHING blackmail material to you

adfsadfa LOVE Mew calling Ray out on the shirt

sleepover!!

"not your type" huh. HUH.

Ray really is hung up on him, huh.

Proud of Mew for setting that boundary.

Sand is not buying it.

Oh Sand, oh Sand.

Ooop put your foot in it

Nick, what are you lying to Sand about that?

oof "he's not normal, his reputation is bad"

oh man the employees all wai'ing the boss's son … urgh god I hate rich people, sorry Top I'm sure you're not actually that bad but URGH (also yes I'm aware of the double standard I've got going here, the way just-as-rich-kid Ray is my little meow meow)

wait, is this the photo booth where Top and Boston made out?

is this just a common architecture feature in spensive hotels, or is this the same hotel they shot Chaan's apartment in LoA with?

ooooh that plane is Boston's, isn't it

Ray and Sand may be doomed by the narrative but I love every second I get out of them anyway.

I love Sand so muchhhh

First is really good at that searching eye contact thing

ถ้ามึงอยากเป็นเพื่อนกับกูอยู่นะ คิดถึงความรู้สึกกูบ้าง BOUNDARIES we love to see them

the way they put the asshole angle on Boston here, I love it

oooh you made Boston mad just now

hookups so you can sleep, hookups to let off steam

oh man, Nick, oh man, this is not okay behaviour and you KNOW it

"I can't" -> the way it's put in Thai is กูไม่สดวก which is basically 都合が悪い but feels like 困る. Gotta ask teacher about that one.

is this why physical pictures are all you deal with, or are you just … talking out your ass because you know Nick is dtf either way for a bit yet

Mark Pakin, the actor you are

this is not news but I'd like to reiterate that I love how we have Rich Boys and Poor Boys are a theme here

asdfadfasdf "stay away from Boston" Nick, Top's been TRYING

but oh man Top is an arrogant ass. like. scary slick.

Ohhhh wow Nick, wow, wow wow. at least you're self-aware? ish?

Oh fuck of course he ran over Sand

Go go go Sand

oooof there's history here, I see. I still think it's about someone Sand liked before.

I really hope Sand's bike is fine

Nickkkkk how about you don't lie to Sand? but urgh you're also getting him in trouble which. ooof I can see this making things really complicated for him and Ray going forward.

Sand is like "oh bruv NO"

CALLED IT

Mew is so unimpressed. I'm impressed with Ray for owning up to it though, and for apologising – it's so easy to fall into the "I'm an awful person and they'll hate me anyway" spiral.

okay so at least Sand and Ray can bond over hating Top

Mew, please get mad about Top being a controlling ass like that

You've got nothing to hide, right, Top? Right?

sooo was that Not Mew in the car with Ray, then? Photoshop?

oh we're going here, huh

oh wait, was that him again just now?

that's a really good line to draw, Mew, and also you've got an excellent point about addiction here

oh man oh man oh man I'm really liking Mew more and more this ep and Top is doing nothing to endear himself to me.

oh man, someone's gonna drink that water and it's going to be a Situation™

Top, you asshole, if you could not question every single one boundary Mew sets, that'd be ace

so the thing is. Top. Why would you think Mew would believe that? you talk big.

!! this is a song from the playlist!!

fuck, Sand is so gone on him alreadyyyy, I really thought he had more distance than that, but nope nope nope

I continue to be so impressed with this show. The preview is nerve wracking, but I'm going to be strong and only watch that when I've got another 5k or so of work words done. One more ep, and then I'll have a day to wade into the tag! EXCITED.

[shinra-makonoid]

I did my first day as a first aid volunteer and it was at a horse race and I haven't been able to see any race at all lmao

I was with a group full of guys and oooof do I hate some guys. They started talking about women like they're pieces of meat, but the worst was the 50+ COP. Said hings like "all women are beautiful doggy style" guy talking about how he'd want to fuck some young women in the group (I'm not against attraction to younger women but it's kinda uncomfortable to be so loud about it to strangers/fellow volunteers). And also the "I wanted to fuck a black girl and a fat girl some day, well I managed to fuck a fat black girl" like bro wtf.

It's just annoying. And when they were with girls they would flirt and it was just weird because they'd be kinda gross and the women would be happy about it.

Then there was the psychophobia. A girl came to us talking about getting a crisis of tetany and then after the doc took her, they had a whole discussion about her psych meds, the fact she came out of a psychiatric hospital and stopped her treatment. Like please shut the fuck up.

Other than that it was fine and a bit boring because there was nothing to do but walk around.

[oonajaeadira]

For the Love of Fic: September 11

Oooof. I did a lot of Pero last week and I’ll be spending the next week focusing on another Pedro. So this week it’s a miscellany...with bonus non-Pedros....what?

MULTI

Euclidian Geometry by @leslie-lyman Okay, sure, there’s some smut involved, but really, the way Pero, Jack, and Frankie need each other, find solace in each other and in the reader...I can’t tell you what a beautiful surprise it was to expect wall-to-wall sex but be given deep, deeeep feelings. Not usually a reader of poly-fic myself, but I trust Leslie and if she goes there, I will follow. So glad I did.

How Did You Love 7 by @writeforfandoms This time it’s Jack’s turn to make a play for the chance to stay by your side. As always with Jen’s Jack, I just wanna bask in his warm protectiveness all damn day. And as much as I love Ezra, I have to say he irritated me a little this time...

The Infinity Cube Part 20 by @littlemisspascal Apart from an epilogue coming, this is the final chapter...and it’s a great one. Rae has stolen my heart with this fic...and trapped it inside. If you haven’t started on this one yet and have been waiting for a conclusion, now’s your time.

You’re the Light (Dragonrancher Jack Daniels universe) by @writeforfandoms Now we’re really getting into some mystery as the Thief shows up with some important information about Eggsy and his mom...

Formula 101 - Prologue: September by @littlemisspascal  Rae’s coming strong out of the gate on this one, the first “media fic” AND the first sport / driving fic I’ve ever delved into. It’s teeming with easter eggs not only with its media format and clickable links, but in characters and places from the Pedro universe (as well as a couple of other universes) and some other recognizable faces come up.  So much fun. And if you don’t know anything about F1 racing, you will be taken care of here as Rae uses the format to explain the basics in a format that’s quick and easy. GET IT.

.

JOEL MILLER

Loss by @radiowallet I feel like when Joel hits there will be so much beautiful angst in this fandom. Cat is starting us out strong by jumping off that “you have no idea what loss is” line from the teaser. Short and poetic, she’ll break your heart with every word.

A Fascination by @iamskyereads  Even though I’m not familiar with the character, I feel like this fic takes the time it needs for Joel to open up and let someone in. And when he does, whoo boy, it is savory and sweet in all the right spicy ways.

.

DIETER BRAVO

Locked Down Part 17: The Bubble, Part 18: The Return, Part 19: The Carpet, Part 20: The Admission and Part 21: The Reveal by @something-tofightfor​ Okay, I meant to read like two chapters per FTLOF, but I had to stand in some long lines this week and needed reading material and I can’t get enough of these two. So now I’m caught up and I want more and I am just hooked on how much these two love and trust one another. How they acknowledge what’s hard and what’s unconventional and how they take care of each other through it even if they’re not together. I’m so in awe of this story and the whole relationship, it feels so alive...

.

MAX PHILLIPS

Long Term Position by @blueeyesatnight I love a Max fic where the reader hates him intensely and for good reason, but in the end he’s able to break down barriers and get through to the heart by being no less shitty than he always is. I don’t know how Blue weaves this magic, but here it is.

.

MARCUS MORENO

A Good Man: 4 Days West by @radiowallet I admit that I came upon Cat a little late to jump on the Poorly Wired Circuit wagon (but am looking forward to the novelization!!!!) so I’m excited to be able to get on board at the start of this one. I don’t read Marcus often, but Cat’s gorgeous writing always pulls me in and she has such a deep love of the character that I know I’m in good hands. And a western AU to boot? Yee haw. Sign me up.

.

THE THIEF

An Unexpected Surprise by @mandosmistress A fun and flirty cat and mouse exchange between the Thief and a security systems expert in the wine cellar of a wealthy client...with a delicious little twist at the end.

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PERO TOVAR

The Debt by @prolix-yuy This is one of my new favorites. Pero is such a perfect blend of grumpy and touched here. He’s such an ass but at the same time, knows when to spend his moments of sincerity. I love the subtle yearning, the respect, the unspoken camaraderie. And I love a lady badass. Chef’s kisses and cakes.

.

BONUS BAILEY CORNER - NON-PEDROS (with a pinch of Din)

KHONSHU

Like a Prayer by @unhinged-summer-fun Bailey could have written a straight up, full stop, beak-fucking fic, and she kinda did, but really, that’s just a small part of it. The path there is a lovely build of modern-day magic; the way the life of an everyday woman can catch the ear of an ancient god. And his eye. And his soul. And other parts.

.

BOBA FETT

The Book of Boba Fett (Bailey’s Version) by @snarwor Look. I am just fine with TBOBF. I liked it just fine and I enjoyed watching it. But I think it could have been so much better. Bailey does too...and she nails it. From letting the Tuskens live, to getting them involved in the fight, giving Boba motivation for redemption, giving Din reason to choose his path, making Cobb and Fennec more active players, and just cutting out the gristle. I love this version. I kind of wish I hadn’t read it because I really really want this to be canon....

.

[newtonsheffield]

I have no doubt that you will be able to salvage an HEA for "Through the Wire"... but, boy oh boy, are your snippets giving me anxiety cuz Anthony's life seems to be in absolute shambles after he fucks up with Kate. Like, it's to the point where I am morbidly happy that the accident happened (though I'm obviously glad it wasn't fatal) because I truly don't know how long Anthony would go on living if he lost Kate (which he did) and his family (some of which he did).

Oooof I'm not going to lie to you: Anthony's life hasn't been good since Kate left.

He knew when he broke up with her that he'd never love anyone else, and he also knew that he seemed to be the kind of person that clung to grief, while others slowly let it go. It sat with him forever, slowly tearing tiny pieces off him until he was red raw and bleeding all over the carpet.

He couldn't bring himself to change anything that she had left, though edwina had come and taken most of her things, occasionally tossing him a snide Is this Kate's?! when she couldn't be sure. But he couldn't touch anything else. Left everything just the way it had been. He'd left her shampoo and conditioner in the shower, kept using it actually, so it felt like she was still there. So her pillow still smelled a little bit like her.

He came home from work, sat at the kitchen counter and stared into space mostly, his fingers drumming occasionally on the tabletop. Then he'd slowly, even though he knew how wrong it was, go back through Kate's social media, looking at the pictures of them together, their lips brushing, their fingers intertwined. He watched the videos of her, perched on his back as he piggy backed her around on holiday, her chin perched on his head. and he can almost feel it, the love she felt for him, still in the room, still pressed against his chest. Until one day he can't see her profile anymore.

He gets new bobby pins, new hair ties and leaves them in the dresser in the bathroom, keeps buying the brand of orange juice Kate liked even though he never drinks it. He barely drinks anything these days. Barely eats. Properly grows out his beard, and eventually stops caring for himself at all.

Even when his mother stands in front of him and basically begs him, begs him to just try he can't. Or won't.

"Anthony, this is hurting me. Seeing you like this is hurting me, do you understand that?"

And it stings at his chest, of course it does. Cuts him open again until there's nothing left.

But still, he just stares at the wall. Where the picture she took of him hangs.

"So stop looking then."

He sits there, all night, with his fist around the necklace she'd ripped off her neck the night she'd left, thrown it at him while she screamed.

I hate you, Anthony. I fucking hate you!

The word scrawled in cursive that had been a joke between them, a joke when he'd given it to her if he was honest. Two months ago at Valentine's day.

Wifey

But Kate had laughed, putting it around her neck before she'd disappeared into the bathroom, returning stripped down to black lace, and the way she'd moved above him with that necklace hanging around her neck would be branded in his mind forever.

She'd never taken it off again.

And every moment lived in his mind, torturing him forever. Right up until his car gets hit, rolling across the street until he's hanging upside down, pain shooting through his body his last words before he closes his eyes

You deserve this

And Finally, he knows peace.

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

Hi Ella! I just finished reading My Policeman, and while I thought it was so heart-wrenchingly beautiful (I very genuinely cried several time during Patrick’s sections), I wanted to ask your thoughts on Marion being the primary storyteller. I had a really hard time sympathizing with her, but it almost felt like that was what the reader was supposed to do? And I know she tells Tom that it’s her confession, but she spends almost the entire time reflecting on her own feelings and trying very hard to justify them, and then just up and leaves them to figure the rest out. I think it’s implied that she’s supposed to be remorseful, but I just couldn’t really feel it. I guess it kind of came across as a straight woman talking about herself with an incredibly tragic love story happening in the background. I really did like the book and am SO excited to see Harry in the movie, but I would be really interested in hearing your thoughts!

oooof yeah omg. marion. i hate her guts, and i truly think that's what the reader is supposed to feel hahaha

OKAY SPOILERS DON'T READ BC I IMPLY WHAT HAPPENS

first of all, as you said: from the start, she's self-absorbed and only interested in her own little feelings and own little life. she'll hurt others if it means she gets what she wants, or even just gets to stay in her own bubble of blindness. it's also totally the writer's intention, imo, to paint her as this selfish, rigid person. someone who wants to keep a lover, not actually love a person. it's in the little things that the reader is shown what a bad person she is, seeding what she does in the end. how she treats the kids her class, even her colleague and friend. how she makes decisions, like life is nothing but a perfect puzzle she has to complete.

i think the author chose her pov as one of the two main ones to serve as a stark contrast to patrick, who genuinely loves tom for who he really is. bc marion has a relationship with the idea of tom. this is, of course, bc tom hides a lot of himself, but it's also bc marion simply isn't interested in digging deeper than the image she has of him. he's her sporty policeman, handsome, diligent and kind, and that's all she needs to know. patrick truly gets to know tom because he wants to, because he slowly urges tom to open up to him, until he finally does. he put effort into their relationship, and loved tom's flaws too.

AND of course she was picked because she is the voice of a lot of english people at that time: homophobic just because it's the norm, the law. because everyone else is. because straying from the path laid out from birth can only mean you're going to hell. not everyone at that time would have turned someone in with the police, because they all knew what horrible consequences came of that, but then that's why marion's character is basically sociopathically horrible. after discovering patrick and tom’s secret, instead of making her way out of the relationship and building something of her own, she ruins patrick’s life and tom’s happiness, just so she can keep tom and their life where everything goes to plan (lol). she literally knows tom can’t love her and goes through with all of her actions. i think she likes the idea of being remorseful at the end of her life, but imo it’s more in line with the catholic confession. lay out your sins and you’re forgiven, right? they’re all gone, poof? no more repercussions. apart from the lives she destroyed, of course. 

i LOVED the book as well hahahah and the fact that marion is so infuriating is a testament to the writer being amazing. she captured two drastically different points of view so believably. i want to reread it atm and i’m trying to bring up the courage to handle it. i just yearn to read the beautiful parts again :’) 

[transcending-time]

All I’ve Ever Known - Obi-Wan x Reader (5)

Ch 5. Modern Tea Shop AU

Pairing: Fem Reader x Obi-Wan

Trigger Warning: Emotional abuse

Description: (Y/N) has been working in a tea shop for the past couple of months while living with her mother. On the outside, everything seems wonderful. (Y/N) is a positive and smiley individual who just wants to make others happy. But looks can be deceiving. Underneath that positive smile is hurt and vulnerability from a living situation that is less than ideal. One day a stranger enters the shop and changes her life forever.

Authors Note:  Oooof this one hurt to write but also was one that I loved to write because of some fluff that happens hehe Sorry this one is late posting today. I had some things to do today. Also I was feeling a bit insecure about my writing fjsdfjdsfjs so had to fight myself to actually post it hahah As promised, readers doodle will be included in the story hehe ahaha Anyways hope you like!

Previous Chapter: Ch 4

Tag List: @where-fantasy-meets-reality @s-r-clowns @mrskenobi19 @stomponmemommy

        (Y/N) doodled in her book, sitting on the stool behind the counter. It had been a couple of days since the piano lesson. A dreamy smile came to her face. She could still feel the warmth of his hands over hers, his arms wrapped around her. The feeling of absolute excited nervousness and warmth spread across her chest. She hadn’t felt this sort of excitement in...well...a long time. He was such an amazing man, that Obi-Wan. 

She looked down at her doodle of the man who had captivated her attention. She was pretty proud of her drawing. Her index finger lightly dragged along the cheek bone of her drawing. 

        ‘Get yourself together, (Y/N). He’s just being nice, especially now that he knows you are friends with Anakin and Padme. He’s not actually interested that way’ she thought to herself, sighing softly. This negative self talk always seemed to come to bring her doubt whenever she was trying to think of something nice. She hated how negative she could be to herself, not that she would show anyone how she truly felt. Despite these thoughts, she pushed them aside as much as she could. Even if he was being nice, that was so sweet of him to do, he didn’t have to.

And now they had plans for Monday. Another lesson and lunch? Was it a date? Or was it just a friendly hang out? She wasn’t sure, but it excited her nonetheless. She heard the timer go off for the oven and quickly made her way to the kitchen, putting on her oven mitts and took out the Ricotta cheese strudel. They smelled delicious. 

Ding.

        She raised an eyebrow curiously and quickly set the tray of strudel onto the counter and looked down at her phone. She smiled. It was a text from Obi-Wan. 

Good morning, (Y/N). Are you working today?

I am. You?

I just had one class scheduled today. Have you had many customers?

No. Not really. Today’s shift usually has the least amount of people. Kinda boring haha But I did just make some Ricotta strudel 

Sounds delightful. I should be there in a few minutes, if you don’t mind the company of course

She smiled.

I would love the company. Would you like the usual?

Maybe something different today. Perhaps surprise me?

Sounds good ;) Have the perfect thing in mind

               She walked up to the front of the store and looked at the assortment of teas on the wall, tapping her chin. What would Obi like? Blood orange maybe? Or Strawberry? Or perhaps their new addition of Lavender Earl Grey? Maybe add some sugar and a bit of milk? Yes. That’s what she would do. (Y/N) prepared the tea, letting it steep for a bit before pouring it into the cup and placing it on the saucer. 

She went back to the kitchen where the strudel was cooling and sliced it up, placed it onto a display tray and brought it out, grabbing one slice and placing it onto the saucer for Obi-Wan. Hopefully he would like them both. She brought both to his usual table. 

Ring

        The ring of the bell to the front door rang and she turned around with a smile, seeing the smiling face of Obi-Wan. 

        “Great timing. The tea is ready and there’s a strudel with your name on it” she giggled and smiled.

        “I have been told I have a flair for dramatic timing” he chuckled and went over to sit down. “Why don’t you join me? At least until you get more customers”

        “I’d love to,” she smiled and sat in the seat across from him. 

        “How have you been?” Obi asked.

        “Oh I’m ok just been working a lot...And doing some drawings and such…” she ran her fingers through her hair. Obi-Wan smiled, but that smile soon turned into concern as she saw a bandage on her finger. 

        “What happened there?” he took her hand in his gently, running his thumb gently across the skin of her hand. His blue eyes staring intently at the finger.

        “With what? Oh...my finger…? Oh it’s ummm…I just…” she bit her lip “I just cut it on something. No big deal…”

        Obi-Wan wasn’t quite convinced, but he wouldn’t push her further if she didn’t wish to speak of it. He gently let her hands go and gave a gentle smile “Well let’s try this strudel shall we?” He took it in his hand and took a bite. “Mmmm...this is quite good. I think it’s one of my favourites”

        “I’m glad,” she smiled. “Oh. The tea is Lavender Earl Grey. It’s one of our new ones” 

        “It smells good” 

        Suddenly a ring at the door sounded and they both turned their heads to see who it was. (Y/N)’s face visibly paled and she stood up, walking to get behind the counter. 

        “Mom? What...are you doing here?”

                                                                    --

        “What am I not allowed to be here?” the woman smiled at her daughter. Her smile was that of a kind mother, but something about the way (Y/N) tensed at her words, made Obi-Wan think that there was more going on. More going on that had to do with the bandaged finger. He didn’t know for certain, and didn’t want to make assumptions, but it was clear that her mother made her nervous.

Obi-Wan sat up and walked over to the counter as silent support to (Y/N). Their eyes met for a brief second. 

        “Oh...umm mom...This is Obi-Wan. A... friend of mine I met here at the shop…” (Y/N) blushed lightly and smiled softly at Obi-Wan for a moment.

        “A friend huh?” (Y/N)’s mother looked him up and down. “Nice to meet you, I’m Theresa. (Y/N)’s mom”

        He gave a small smile, not wanting to add to the tense atmosphere. Even though he knew something was going on beyond appearances, he didn’t want to exacerbate any possible situation for (Y/N). She looked like she was upset enough. “You too”

        “Did you need something?” (Y/N) asked. 

        “I’ll get some of the cinnamon tea and 4 of that strudel there. Make sure you don’t eat it though. I need it for if I have guests over” 

        “...I wasn’t planning to…”

        “Just wanted to let you know. No need to be grumpy ” she smiled sweetly.

        Obi-Wan frowned at the exchange and saw (Y/N)’s face fall. His heart hurt seeing her heart hurt like it did. “I’ll be back in a moment. I’m just going to wash my hands”

        “Ok” (Y/N) smiled. “Bathroom is just around the corner” she pointed towards the bathroom, to which he gave a soft smile as he walked off towards the washroom.

 He opened the door, went over to the sink and ran the warm water over his hands. He sighed and took some paper towels to dry them. He could hear the two women talking in hushed tones. Obi-Wan opened up the door slightly to be able to hear the conversation, and he did not enjoy what he was hearing. 

        “Don’t you dare try to embarrass me like that again. You are acting like an entitled brat” her mother growled lightly.

        “I didn’t even do anything! I was just saying that I wasn’t going to eat them”

        “You gave me attitude”

        “But I didn’t”

        “You did. And to top it off you didn’t even do the dishes this morning!” 

        Her heart sank. She had meant to do them but she completely forgot. She held her head in shame “Sorry I was running late this morning. I’ll do them when I get home”

        “That’s not good enough, (Y/N). You should’ve done them immediately”

        “Like I said I was late. And only one of those dishes are actually mine”

        “Oh so it’s going to be like that? I don’t care that only one is yours! I do so much for you and you can’t even wash my dishes?”

        “I...I didn’t say that I just…”

        “No you know what. I’m so sick of you pulling this crap. If you can’t take care of the dishes properly then you aren’t allowed to use any of my dishes. And you know what else? Don’t even think about touching the food in my fridge. Stuff your face with takeout. You are so ungrateful for what I do for you. When you were in University I was there for you. If it weren’t for me you wouldn’t have gotten through that. Who was there for you at 3 am when you were crying on the phone every night? That’s right me”

        “Y...you were yelling at me every time” (Y/N) said in a soft, meek voice. 

         “That is a bold faced lie. I was there for you. You are so selfish. I can’t believe that you turned out this way. You’re just like your father. Now get me my stuff so I can go”

         “But…” she sighed. 

         It became silent then, apart from (Y/N) shuffling her feet along the floor and ringing her mom's items out. Obi-Wan walked out the door then as (Y/N) was handing her mother her items. Theresa’s eyes went to Obi-Wan and she smiled. 

         “It was nice to meet you, Obi-Wan” she turned to (Y/N) “See you later, boo” 

         (Y/N) made no attempt to say goodbye and soon her mother left. (Y/N) walked from behind the counter. “I...Do...do you want another tea? Your tea must be cold...I’m sorry...I…”

               Obi-Wan frowned and slowly approached her, (Y/N)’s eyes met his, clearly trying to hold back her emotions. He reached out for her hands and pulled her close, gently wrapping them around her with a soft, gentle touch and her eyes widened as he did so, but she soon melted into his touch and wrapped her arms around his middle. Gentle hands stroked her back affectionately, letting her lean her weight into him. He didn’t mind, he wanted her to feel safe with him. 

        “You know what...How about we get out of here? Maybe go for some ice cream?” 

        “I...I couldn--”

        “Please. It’ll be my treat” he pulled back gently and looked into her eyes softly. She opened her mouth to object, but seeing the softness in his eyes made her close it again. She nodded in agreement. Cynthia always told her that if it was slow that she could close the shop early. She usually never left early, but she supposed it wouldn’t hurt doing it just this once.

                                                                  --

        The two of them walked in silence, (Y/N) tried to keep a smile on her face, but Obi-Wan could notice the pain in her eyes. She felt like she was overreacting with the hurt in her heart, perhaps she did deserve it, she had forgotten to do the dishes after all. She felt so incompetent. 

Casually he reached down and took her small hand in his, entwining his fingers with hers, taking her away from her thoughts. Her eyes looked up into his, and she smiled, her cheeks flushing lightly and she flicked her eyes away shyly. He let out a chuckle, finding it incredibly adorable. 

        “We’re almost there. They have very good ice cream and the owners are quite lovely” 

        “I love ice cream. So I’m pretty excited about it” she smiled. 

         When they finally arrived, they walked up to the door and Obi-Wan held the door open for her.

         “Thank you” (Y/N) smiled lightly.

        “Ahhh! Obi-Wan, my friend! It is good to see you!” a man who looked around his late 50’s came to the counter. “And who is this lovely lady with you?”

         “Hi, I’m (Y/N). Nice to meet you” (Y/N) smiled brightly. Obi-Wan’s heart fluttered at seeing that smile, a smile that could easily light up a room with it’s vibrancy.

        “And you little lady. I’m Pete. Any friend of Obi-Wan is a friend of mine. What can I get for you two?”

        “I’ll have a vanilla soft serve on a cone” he turned to (Y/N) with a smile “ What would you like, darling?”

         Her cheeks flushed at the nickname and she couldn’t help but let out a tiny giggle “Oh...Umm...I’ll have a double scoop of mint chocolate chip please. But in a cup if that’s ok?”

        “More than ok. I’ll get right to it '' Pete smiled as he walked to the back to get the ice creams. 

        She turned and looked at Obi-Wan curiously, smirking lightly “Just vanilla soft serve?” 

Obi Wan chuckled “Call me a traditionalist. I like things...soft... and sweet…” he smirked, giving her a sly wink that made her entire face go red.  

        “You are incorrigible” she could stop herself from giggling like a schoolgirl, her heart beating quickly in her chest as she pushed him teasingly. He swayed lightly and let out a laugh. 

        “Your face is a delightful shade of red. It was worth it. You’re worth it” he smiled as their eyes met. Both smiled at each other warmly, before Pete came back and handed them their ice creams. 

Perhaps this wouldn’t be such a bad day afterall.

[secondgenerationnerd]

@wasnt-expecting-that requested this and I can’t say no to her 😘😘

—————————

To say Damian, Maya, and Sin had unusual childhoods would be an understatement. The things they learned to do, were forced to do, and experienced go beyond anything their teammates grew up with. Not a bad thing, but definitely isolating at times.

How do you explain to people that their lives have a price? That they can be cut down before they realize what’s happening? How do you, a child, explain to an adult that you needed protecting long ago; no one came then, why now be different.

They understood each other.

Once a month, the three of them meet up. Always on a rooftop, always in their civilian clothes. They trade off on who brings snacks and drinks. Sometimes they’d just talk about what was going on in their lives. Sometimes they’d confess to the things they did, the things they witnessed, the things they experienced.

Then there’s times like this.

“Alright, Damian,” Maya points a celery stick at him, “Dream job?”

“Easy. A vet.” The boy wonder sips his water, not bothering to hide his grin. “Figure working with animals is better than humans. What about you, Sin?”

“Oooof…A streamer, possibly a video game designer.” Sin catches the sandwich Maya tosses at her. “Maya?”

“Kathy and I have the flower shop. That and the farmers market so we’re set.” Maya feels her heart flutter at her girlfriend’s name.

“Branden is treating you properly, correct?”

The girls snort at Damian’s question. Maya throws an orange at him, “Yes, Dames, she’s wonderful. Just because we were betrothed doesn’t mean you have to worry.”

“Oh, I worry for Branden’s safety, frankly.” He grins and throws the orange back at her, “Have you thought about marriage—“

“If you’re asking, Dames, I hate to break it to you—“

“-tt—“

“Ooooo,” Sin laughs, “You got a -tt- out of him.”

“What I meant was ‘have you thought about marrying anyone in the future?’” Damian asks.

Maya smiles warmly, looking down, “Yeah. Kathy and I have already talked about it. She wants to get married in a few years.”

“Have you talked about kids?” It’s Sin’s question this time. Maya nods. “And?”

“We both want them, which we knew before we started dating. We even talked about some names.” Maya nudges the other girl’s foot with her own. “What about you? Kids? A partner?”

“Nah. I have you guys, my parents, and now Connor.” Sin grins, still thrilled to have a brother…even if he’s from another dimension, “I have a lot of things I want to do…and honestly I don’t think kids or a partner are part of those plans.”

“That’s fair.” Damian looks out on the city, his leg dangling over the edge. Relaxed, Maya and Sin can understand why people find him attractive. Handsome isn’t the right word in their opinions. Beautiful fits better.

“What about you, Damian?” Maya asks.

“What about me?”

“Do you want kids one day?” They weren’t really sure what to expect. A smile plays on his lips and, surprisingly, he nods.

“Really?” Sin feels his forehead, “Maya, I think he’s hallucinating—“

“Oh, fuck off.” Damian laughs, swatting her hand away. “It’s not that important”

“For other people maybe. For us…” Maya doesn’t finish her sentence. She doesn’t need too. “Would you want a boy or a girl?”

Considering the question for a moment, Damian shrugs, “I believe I’m supposed to say ‘I don’t care so long as they’re healthy.’ Which is true.”

“But…” Sin presses.

“….I would like a daughter.”

For whatever reason, the image of Damian with a baby girl makes them laugh. Not meanly, never that, but for whatever reason, if he had a child, they would have thought he’d want a boy more than anything.

“A little girl, huh?” Maya teases, “Sure you can handle that?”

“Yeah, tea parties can get intense.”

Chuckling, Damian just shakes his head, “I have a younger sister and three nieces. I’m accustomed to more ‘girly’ things than you might think. In any case, Mar’i made me do tea parties with her when we were young.”

“I’m almost afraid to ask,”Maya snorts.

“Well, if I ever rejoin the League of Assassins, Tamaran will be a neutral force. All it took was three chocolate chip cookies and mustard.” They laugh at that image. Damian and Mar’i might refer to themselves as uncle and niece, but they behave more like siblings. She was his first real friend after arriving at his father’s home.

Maya gets it. Kathy and Jon were her first friends after her father died. Sin had some friends from school, but joining Epsilon is what made her feel…not alone.

“Is there a reason you’d want a girl?” Sin asks, breaking the silence.

“…I worry I might be too harsh on a son.” He looks at them, “There’s still many of Grandfather’s ‘lessons’ I’m unlearning. Most misogynistic, but none the less, I would like to think that…I’m not sure really.”

“That having a girl would help break the cycle?” Maya guesses. She hates how easy it is for her to get in people’s brains. When Damian nods, she looks out at the city with him, “I get it. I told Kathy, when we have kids, I want to carry. Like…like I need to have physical proof that I was here and real. Is that bad?”

“Maybe.” Sin shrugs. “Depends on a lot of factors. If you’re just having kids to make yourself feel better, don’t have them. If you’re having kids because you want to be better, then you’re fine.”

They consider that for a while. The sun sets slowly over the buildings, illuminating the trio with its fading rays.

As children, they learned night was their friend. Easier to sneak through the shadows. To sneak up on a target. To get what they need. They learned what horrors can happen when the sun sets. But, no matter what, it would always rise. Always a new day with new possibilities. A new future to be made.

“If I have a child…” Damian starts softly, “I hope I can be the parent they need. Not just the parent I want to be.”

“Me too.” Maya agrees.

“If it helps, I think you two will be great parents one day.” Sin nudges them both with her shoulders, “Even if it means we have to accept that our polygamist marriage will never happen.”

That makes the other two laugh, easing the tension in their chests. Maya winks at Sin, “I’m sure you’re heart broken that we can’t be sister wives.”

“Pretty sure Irey secured her spot as Damian’s one and only.” Sin fake sighs, “Suppose it was bound to happen. After all, both your types are ‘dorky girls that can also kill me’ and mine is ‘no.’”

“I’m bi, ma’am—“

“Name one boy we know you’d consider dumping Kathy for.”

“….Fuck you.”

“Not interested.”

Soon it will be time for them to go. Back to routines, chores, school. Back to the mundane reality of their civilian lives.

Lives they never thought they’d get to have.

[drakewalkerfantasy]

My little angels (Tatum x Claire)

Summary: Two births. Two different experiences. Two sisters. And only 3 years and 3 month apart.

Prompt: 43. A kiss pressed to the top of the head.

Words: 2442

Rating: PG

Warning: labour / emergency c-section / childbirth / pain

A/N: Thank you, dear anon for your request. I hope you will like it, I’m not sure if I’m particularly happy with all parts, and it got too raw too quickly. I literally wrote what I felt, so sorry for any kind of mistakes. Read under the cut

The crucifying pain shot through Claire in a flush, knocking the air out of her lungs and leaving her breathless.

Her breath caught in her throat and the dry lump of emotions formed there with the tears that started to burn at the corners of her eyes, while the feeling of another inevitable bout of pain washed over her. Getting ready to tear through her with the sob and the plea, that she couldn’t push back anymore.

But before she could say anything or plead for mercy... the seconds before she could feel another fit of pain rip through her, she felt two strong hands gently wrapping around her bringing her closer to a firm muscled chest, soothing her… calming her, and just for a second making her forget about the pain... just for a second.

“You are doing so great,” whispered a familiar voice, breaking through the fog of agony she was into. “I’m in such an awe of you,” said the man pressing a soft affectionate kiss to the top of her head.

Her forehead dropped onto his chest while she was breathing heavily, feeling his fingers drawing soft soothing circles into her scalp, making the pain step back for a little bit longer. Her eyes closed from exhaustion, while she tried to breath.

“I cannot...,” she half-sobbed, half-whispered into his chest. Her voice hoarse and dry from all the pain and emotions. The lump still blocked her throat making it almost painful to speak, while his hands gently tightened around her feeling how her body stiffened with another rush of pain. “It hurts... so much,” Claire breathed. Her fingers curl around the crisp material of his shirt, and the pain is so strong that she almost forgets how to breathe. Opening and closing her mouth in a futile attempt. Her eyes squeezed shut, hoping that if they will remain like that, then the pain will not come.

“Hey, look at me, breathe.... just breathe. One in... and one out,” Tatum murmured, cupping her face in his hand. His voice is calming and soothing, guiding her through the process, breathing in unison with her. So gently... so carefully... Her rock... her strength…

One in... and one out. One in... and one out.

“You are almost there,” Claire heard another voice breaking through the fog of her mind and she prepared herself for another wave of pain. Squeezing her eyes even firmer, but breathing at last. 

One in... and one out.

“Soon we will finally meet our little girl,” Claire breathed, finally opening her eyes and raising them to meet Tatum’s, smiling weakly at him. Her hands still curled around the material of his shirt, while she breathed in and out, feeling the calming movements of his chest with every breath he took.

She could feel how another rush of contractions surged onto her. Her forehead wrinkled from pain and her eyes squeezed shut, while she grunted into Tatum’s shirt. Their breathes synced, calming her as nothing else could before another command to push followed after another excruciating wave of pain struck her.

Push... push... push... followed after every contraction and she did just so... following without questions, bravely meeting the pain, but still no result, and she almost wants to give up. Just to close her eyes... and forget all the pain... rewind the days and try next time... but she doesn't.

Instead Claire squeezes her eyes, and pushes with the last bit of strength left in her before collapsing back into Tatum’s arms. Feeling, how they softly curl around her offering her all the strength and support he can... all the strength and support she needs.

“Sorry... I can’t... I just.... make it stop... please just make it stop,” she sobbed into his shirt, while he brushed the strands of hair out of her eyes. His hand cupping her cheek gently, making her look at him, while they still had time before another command and another contraction would inevitably follow.

“Honey, you can do that. I know you can,” he whispered softly, locking his eyes with hers, before pressing their foreheads together. They breathes synced, while another command followed only a second later and she pushed. Her hands dug into his. Her nails breaking the skin of his forearms, while she cried out and pushed with the last effort and strength she could find in her.

Her body fell into Tatum’s embrace in exhaustion and her eyes snapped open, focusing on the midwife and the small figure covered in a red bloody substance in her hands. Both waiting with the bated breath, while the seconds were ticking.

One... two...thr... faint soft sigh... cry.

The baby was crying. Their baby was crying.

And they could feel how they finally could breathe again. Feeling how their own tears started to flow, while Tatum pressed a soft kiss to the top of Claire’s head, to her forehead, her nose and then finally to her lips.

Murmuring the words of gratitude and love over and over, while covering her in small, affectionate kisses. Their tears mixing together before the baby, cleaned and wrapped into the blanket, was finally brought to them and put into Tatum’s hands.

“You did it,” he said in a voice full of awe and love. His cheeks still stricken by tears and his eyes moist, while he pressed a soft kiss to the baby’s forehead.

“We did it,” murmured Claire looking at Tatum with a weak loving smile, before dropping her eyes to their baby girl, letting her small little hand wrap around her finger. “Hey, Lilibeth. Welcome to the world.”

Lilibeth, the filipino name that mixes Lily and Beth, his mum’s favourite flowers and the name of Claire’s grandmother from her father’s side.

————————————————

3 years and 3 months later, same hospital and she once again in pain. Claire’s hand firmly gripping Tatum’s, doubling with a scream, while waiting for someone to come after them. She wasn’t so far into the labour and another three weeks till her due date, but the pain is so much worse than with their first and she knows... or at least she suspects that it’s only the beginning.

Her forehead covered in beads of sweat, while she gritted her teeth. Her waters broke an hour ago, but pain seems to jump from zero to ten in one go... with the gush of water to the kitchen floor where she was laughing till her sides hurt only a second before with Denise and her father in law over one of Tatum’s childhood memories. While he was scowling just meters away, mumbling something under his breath before he heard her gasp and he was right next to her in a flash. Cradling her in his strong, comforting arms before she screamed, feeling how her abdomen tensed and the pain shoot through her, making another young man rush to them with the panicked look on his face.

Should I have coloured my hair back to my natural colour or should I let them wash out... the sudden thought strikes her. The thought that seems to be coming from nowhere through the flush of another spasm and pain. Her brow furrowed in concentration trying to determine where it even came from. Doing everything she could to get distracted from pain. And even though she knows that Tatum loves her in any form and appearance, the doubt still creeping, overlapping with another contraction in her abdomen, that makes it rock solid, and the grip on his hand bone-crashingly firm.

“Everything will be okay. Doctor will be here in a moment,” tries to calm her Tatum, easing her hand gently while it didn't break any bones in his.

“You are the one to talk,” Claire snapped, bracing herself for another wave of pain, her stomach getting firmer and she could feel the pain rushing onto her like a wrecked train. The tears welling on her eyes, while she tried to breathe. “God... how did I even let you do that to me again...,” she sobbed, gripping his hand firmer, while another gripped the lapels of his jacket. “Never again... Oooof.... fuck you and yours.... Oh God...,” she panted, feeling his hand squeezing hers, while another wraps around her waist, letting her bury her face on his chest, whimpering softly.

“I think that was the reason why we got into that position in the first place,” chuckled Tatum into Claire’s hair, rubbing her back softly and kissing the top of head.

Realising the mistake of his words only an instance later, when she hit him hard in his chest. Baffling him only a second later, when he heard a muffled bark of hoarse laugh against his chest. But before he could say anything his eyes stopped on the midwife who was finally approaching them with Blaine hot on her heels. And he could feel how some of the tension left his body, thankful to Blaine for getting someone to finally look at them using his status. The thing Tatum knew for a fact Blaine hated to do, but still done for them.

“Thank you,” said Tatum, turning to Blaine as soon as Claire was put into the wheelchair and rolled to the examination room. “Hey, she will be okay,” tried to convince him Tatum, or was it he himself who needed that, or both when he met a panicked look on Blaine’s face. But before he could say anything else or followed after his wife and midwife they heard an alarm coming from the room where Claire disappeared. Tatum felt instantly numb feeling how the fear that something happened washed over him and they both ran into the room.

The scene they were both met with, made Blaine instantly look away while Tatum froze, the words failing him and he could distantly hear the question that he was asked.

“Yes... yes, I’m her husband,” numbly said Tatum, watching how Claire was moved to the gourmet.

“You shouldn’t worry, we will make sure...,” said the woman placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, but he didn’t hear her, as the only sounds in his ears were the pounding of his own heart and the roaring of his blood.

He didn’t feel how Blaine led him to the waiting area, didn’t hear him trying to comfort him and he didn’t know how much time had passed. The only thing he could feel and hear was a paralysing fear, the one he never felt before, the one that grabbed him with a stranglehold and did not let go... the one that made his breath shallow and his vision blurred... the one he didn’t know how to deal with.

It was minutes... or hours... or seconds. He didn’t know... he just didn’t... the fear unlike any other gripped at his throat, when he felt a hand placed carefully at his shoulder bringing him back to present... tearing him away from the thoughts he was having...

He couldn’t lose her... Their little girl cannot lose her... 

The fear punched holes in his heart, and his breathing hollows, almost like a panic attack he didn’t have in years... since the early childhood after his mother’s death, after he needed to become strong for Claire... and now he was losing her... them...

Distantly he could feel someone’s hand on his, but he couldn’t move, trying to breath, until the hand squeezed his firmer, and he could hear someone’s voice trying to break through to him... through the beating of his heart in his ears... through the fear... until he felt something small got placed in his hands, helping him held something... someone, realisation dawned at him a second later. His eyes dropped to the baby, the small bundle in his hands before raising them to meet Blaine’s gaze who was squatting in front of him, preventing his arms from shaking, helping him to hold the baby... smiling.

“She is okay. Both of them,” replied Blaine to an unasked question, watching how relief washed over Tatum.

“Can I...,” the question stuck in Tatum’s throat while he raised his eyes watching over Blaine’s shoulder at the elderly woman behind him.

“Mrs. Mendoza is still recovering from anaesthesia, but you can see her,” sounded a reply. “She suffered some minor blood loss, but other than that both her and baby are feeling good and will be able to go home within a day or two,” the woman said, while Tatum carefully stood up holding their newborn girl and following the nurse toward the ward.

First what she felt was the dryness of her throat, like she didn’t have anything to drink for days... weeks even or if she would spend some time in a desert.

The second, was the heaviness of her eyelids. And the feeling that she wouldn’t be able to open them even if she would try. So heavy that she kept them closed, trying to adjust her other senses first.

And the last, she felt a fear that quickly turned into relief when Claire heard the voice of her husband... her Tatum, cooing with someone... their daughter. Thanks God... she wanted to cry and laugh at the same time, relief rolling over her in waves together with a raspy cough ripping through her throat before she cleared it.

“Hey,” she spoke, her voice raspy and hoarse and cutting her throat as nothing else did. Her eyes still closed before she tried to flutter them open. “Is she okay?”

“Yes, she is. She is precious,” she hears next to her and she tries to sit or at least she thinks she tries to do that before she feels a warm hand over hers. “You did it,” Tatum’s voice so close to her now, and she can feel his soft lips pressing to her forehead in a lingering kiss, while her eyes finally flutter open to meet his, and to look at their girl.

“We...,” she tries to object, but the soft press of his lips to hers cut her off.

“You did it,” murmurs Tatum against her lips. His arms holding hers securing them around their daughter, helping her to hold their girl.

“She is perfect,” Claire murmurs still hoarsely,

“Yes, she is... and as strong and brave just like her mother,” he whispers, leaning toward the little girl cradled in their arms, pressing a softest kiss to her forehead. His murmur like a rustle of leaves on the wind. “Hey, Ana. Welcome to the word.”

Ana... Anita, the name of the Spanish origin, the middle name of her mother’s, as strong and as brave like the woman who gave her life and who he loves.

Tagging: @kowshikha @sophxwithers​ @itsjustwinter @ramseysrookiex​​​ @lahelasaveiro​ @mercury84choices​ @choices-bound​ @jamespotterthefirst​ @starrystarrytrouble​

[ievaxol]

What lessons did they learn from their time on the First?

oooof Seike goes through an immense amount of growth during her time in the First but where she gains understanding and learns new skills, she also backslides a lot into self destructive behaviours. I think, however, that the biggest takeaway for her is how easily she could have become Emet-Selch. After seeing the Scions collapse and nearly stabbing the Crystal Exarch for it she can sympathize with him in a way she doesn't really want to examine. If her back was against the wall and everyone else was gone and there was even a sliver of hope that she might bring them back - she wants to say that she wouldn't kill for it but seeing what time has done to Emet she's suddenly not too sure. She hates the Azem soul crystal and she blocks out whatever feelings resonate from her Ancient self completely, even so Seike can't help but pity him from her own heart. She would never admit that she does - especially knowing what the Ascians have done to Thancred, she keeps it to herself. On another note she also learns why she was so drawn to Ardbert when they came to the Source and his company helps her heal in a way that someone who isn't of the same soul would ever understand. Ardbert keeps her sane and stable during a majority of the time and later, when G'raha works up the courage to ask about the Warrior of Darkness from the First she simply murmurs 'I love him', into her cup. How could she not? And in loving Ardbert she is forced to love parts of herself, too, which is very healthy and needed at that point.

[mego42]

fav lines tag

RULES: share your favorite sentence/paragraph from each one of your fics and tag 6 other fic writers to do it too :)

tagged by the talented brilliant incredible @foxmagpie (💖)

tagging: @pynkhues @hypermania @bethsuglywigs @riosnecktattoo @missmaxime @sothischickshe @joeyjoeylee

some ground rules: I’m only doing brio fic bc at some point when I wasn’t paying attention I wrote a metric fuckton of it and we’re already gonna be here all day bc my other ground rule is I’m allowed to interpret the concept of a line however i want. i’m also gonna tell you why i picked them bc no one can stop me. cool? cool. good talk. 

your monster looks like mine

okay so my first choice for fav would be the entire ~conversation around whether or not beth had a choice when she set rio up bc oooof I just love how that came out so! much! BUT if I’m limiting myself to something closer to a line, I’m going with this one. i love what it establishes for rio’s emotional state when it comes to beth, i love how it captures their push/pull constant one upping battle, I love the rhythm of the flow of it and the grandiose verbiage (i was having a frankly unreasonable amount of fun with natural phenomena imagery throughout the whole fic and this captures a bit of it). idk I just think it’s neat.

The words rip through him, a bright, blazing comet trail whipped across his sky, illuminatin’ his landscape, impossible to ignore.

Elizabeth’s spread out on the bed below him, golden hair tumblin’ around her face, mouth red and swollen, lookin’ up at him like she’s got him. Like she’s figured some shit out. Like she fuckin’ did something by putting that together.

Like Rio doesn’t fuckin’ know. Like that doesn’t fuckin’ haunt him, torment him, mock him every time she pulls some of her bullshit and he’s left picking up the pieces, knowin’ damn well what the right answer is but also knowin’ he’s always gonna be wrong when it comes to her.

--

a song inside the halls of the dark

another one where I’d pick a whole scene if I could BUT if  the whole opening flashback isn’t on the table (idk I love it for 14,000 reasons including how it sets up the bookend structure for the chapter, how it sets up a bunch of the final payoffs, the tone of it, idk everything about it came out exactly how I wanted it to and I really love how it tees up the ending), then I’m going with this bit from the final brio scene. it ties back in a whole bunch of threads that have been woven in and out all the way back to the first chapter and closes them out in a way that also feels (to me) like a beginning which I love bc the whole theme of the chapter is it’s a beginning, not the end.

What does it mean then, that he’s slept so soundly beside her?

The playhouse glows softly. She wonders how many more times she can get away with sanding it before it weakens past the point of supporting the kids’ weight and the whole thing collapses.

Behind it, she can see the long shadow it casts reaching for the boxwoods bordering the yard. The lines of the structure frame windows of bright moonlight on the grass, eerily reminiscent of the windows that loomed large in the nightmares Beth abruptly realizes she hasn’t had in weeks. Not since that last night at Rio’s loft. And that’d been the last one since...his car. Canada. The night all of this started.

Beth blinks. What does it mean that she’s slept so soundly beside him?

A-live, alive, alive, I—

Her breath catches.

—

pills’n’potions

I don’t have any grand reasoning for why I picked this bit from the 4th (i think?) ~ch as my fav, I just really like writing annie and rio interacting and I especially love writing them with annie like, intellectually aware that she should probably be afraid of him but also spiritually incapable of not being herself and rio being wildly annoyed by it

"What?" He asks, giving the t an edge sharp enough to cut.

There's a pause. "What like you didn't hear me, or what like what do I want?"

[...]

"Hello?"

Now the sister sounds like she's getting annoyed, and Rio's really gotta do somethin' about the two of them runnin' 'round actin' like he's someone they can get away with not takin' seriously. Like he's some sort of pet. Defanged. Declawed. Fuckin' neutered.

"Get to the point."

"I mean, I kind of did in the message."

—

trade my heart for honey

the only thing sexier than rio being good at pool is beth being a fucking shark and rio being out of control turned on by it.

Dropping all pretense at being less than she is, Beth grabs the cue ball, positioning it slightly to the left of center where the felt is slightly more worn. Even without the tell, she's seen Rio put it there enough times to know it's the table's sweet spot. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Rio shift his weight before she tunes him out entirely, drawing the stick back and letting it fly.

It's as close to a perfect break as she's probably ever managed. The cue ball connects dead on, scattering the rest far and wide. The one and the six drop neatly into pockets, the four and five coming to a stop right on the edge of the left side and far left corner, nearly closing off that whole side of the table.

Every stripe remains in play.

"Solids," she says, not letting herself dwell on the way Rio's mouth hangs slightly open, his eyes glazed over.

—

swaying evergreens

the whole theme of this fic is the terrifying intimacy and vulnerability of sharing your most precious moments and memories with someone you care about and I like how this touches on that along with sort of nutshelling the double edged sword of grief-tinted memory which is another major theme

There's somethin' extra about these unguarded moments. That Elizabeth trusts Rio enough to drop her guard completely and give him this completely unvarnished look at her. It's been over a year since he's been back in her bed, since the first time he'd slept here, but there's still somethin' tentative about it. Like there's a part of him that's never going to be all the way over the first time he'd been here, that can't fully believe how far they've come, that this isn't going to crumble, melt, drain away.

Truthfully, Rio doesn't mind it, that faint edge. He's well acquainted with the different flavors of loss, and the threat of it's a counterpoint that keeps him sharp. Lets him know this is real but not somethin' he'll take for granted.

—

swear on a silver knife

there were a couple of sexy tension bits that made for strong contenders but ultimately this won bc I’m obsessed with how this reference to 306 came out.

“I told you. I got my own debts to pay.” He bit off the words like it cost him something to repeat them.

Beth shivered, abruptly right back at that picnic table, cheeks wet and staring at him, searching for any hint of the man she’d—she’d—anyone besides the cold, unfeeling stranger sitting beside her, blood so fresh on his hands she could nearly smell it underneath the scent of the cold, misty night rain falling around them, blurring her eyes, beading in her hair and on his eyelashes.

—

listening through the air shaft

this was a really hard one to narrow down but I ultimately went with this but bc I love it for a culminating look at how beth and rio’s relationship has evolved throughout the fic and also bc a version of this scene was the first thing I wrote for the whole fic so it was fun to finally get there with everything in place behind it. I also just love it as a reference for the dichotomy of both beth and rio and also how complicated that is makes being around them for everyone else

They aren't even doing anything, just quietly working side by side, but there's a synchronicity to their movements, a quiet peace that makes Dean feel more like an intruder than anything else that's happened today, and he hates it.

It’s so far from the guy that’d broken into his home, beaten him up. Who’d looked at him with those terrifying, blank, shark eyes before casually shooting him in the chest like it was nothing right where they’re about to sit down and share a meal.

A guy, Dean suddenly realizes, he hasn’t seen any hint of in a long, long time. It’s not that he doesn’t think that part of him isn’t there, it’s just...it’s weird, is all, how completely he puts it away.

It reminds Dean of Beth, actually, now that he’s thinking about it.

God. They look so...so domestic. Sweet. Disarming in a way that completely undermines everything Dean thought he'd known about the guy and their whole...thing.  

He just—he doesn't get it, what Beth sees in him.

—

now use both hands

idk I just like this bit let me live

"What are you—what service?"

He makes himself take the route through the showroom that brings him right past her, leaning in and softly brushing a lock of hair out of her face for the first time in longer than he can remember.

Her eyes flutter shut, and he feels absolutely nothing.

"Helping sad, lonely housewives get off once their husbands are done with them."

Her eyes snap open, and he makes himself look at her long enough to watch the hit land and the hurt bloom.

He's empty, untouchable, she's nothing to him.

Rio doesn't look back.

—

I'd give her a HA! And a HI-YA!

you can take my made up backstory for rio and mick from me when you pry it from my cold dead hands.

Mick had been there the first time Rio'd had to get his hands all the way dirty and had kept an eye on him when he'd gotten blackout drunk after, and Rio'd done the same for him. Every bloody, grimy step Rio'd climbed, Mick had been right there with him, watching his back all the way to the top.

The point is Rio's Mick's brother in every way that counts.

Mick'd seen him twisted up over business and twisted up over personal shit, but he's never seen him let both get twisted up like he had since that fuckin' weasel Boomer'd got his ass handed to him and Rio'd gotten curious about it.

—

as the world turns, the blunt burns

I pull this every time I have to pick a fav and I can’t even really explain it aside from I think I’m really, really funny and that’s enough

Beth suddenly sobers as much as she can when she feels like she's simultaneously floating away and sinking into the Earth and wipes her eyes. "Are you gonna get in trouble?"

"You're in the house, ain't you?" He's answering Beth but looking at Rio.

"Mick," Beth frantically tugs at his pant leg because apparently, he doesn't have all of the information. "We're in the yard."

"Yeah, Mick," Rio says, glaring. "You're in the yard."

Mick shrugs, and Beth realizes he isn't scared of Rio at all. That's a neat trick. How does he do that? Maybe he can teach her.

—

smoke, fire, it’s all going up

there are realistically many other better lines in this fic but this one never fails to make me laugh so it remains my fav.

"You- you-" She sputters at him, flailing around a little. "You were the one that started mailing me pieces of a dead body."

"You blocked my number." Rio snarls, which is not what he'd meant to say, and he hates that she trips him up.

"That is not a proportionate response!"

—

got a kiss (with your name on it)

it was this or the text exchange at the beginning of the fic bc I strongly believe established relationship brio would continually roast each other for their past dumbassery but the elizabeth kink won out

"Come here," Rio's voice is thick but insistent in a way that brings every cell of Beth's body to attention. She hooks her thumb over her bottom teeth and drags her lower lip a little, a gesture full of who me mock innocence, waiting for him to say-

"Elizabeth." There it is.

There's an endless amount of things that Beth finds ferociously, irresistibly sexy about Rio, but when he says her full name in that commanding tone? Even if she's pissed the fuck off and has no intention of doing what he wants, it gives her goosebumps.

—

say it’s all in my head (i remember what you said)

I will be real with y’all, I forget I wrote this fic a lot of the time hahahaha but! that means every time I’m reminded I go back and am like oh yeah! I like this! anyway there isn’t like, one specific but I really love most as much as I really like the tentative breathless nervousness and then also overwhelming so muchness and I like how this but captures both of those

For a single, breathless moment, she stands in the middle of the room, alone and terrified.

Then Rio wets his lips and comes towards her, moving with that languid grace she's never been able to look away from even before she had any idea why that could be.

All of the fear collapses like a dying star, sending a supernova of relief and molten heat zinging through her from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. Her head swims, and every cell in her body feels like it's leaning towards him- like she's made of magnets on a molecular level and he's the lodestone.

He gently pushes her bangs off of her forehead, slowly running his fingertip down the side of her face, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. He tilts his head towards hers and stops, going no further than halfway, leaving it up to her to close the distance.

She lets her eyes fall shut as she leans into him and tentatively touches her mouth to his for the first time.

—

the world is on fire (and no one can save me) / what a wicked game you played (to make me feel this way)

two for one!!! idk if either of these is my number one favorite line from either fic individually but I really like how they both play together. I like writing beth and rio pov and having them mirror each other’s narration both in thought and structure a lot bc I like thinking of them as two versions of the same

Beth checks her phone, nothing from Rhea, and sends a quick I'm here, text me when you're close, and I'll grab a table before wetting a paper towel and wiping away the last of her smeared mascara. With precise, brisk movements, she snaps open her bag and fishes out her compact, her lipstick, and her mascara; lining them up click, click, click on the tiny shelf below the mirror.

She can live with this; she has to live like this; she will live like this.

She flips open the compact and methodically dabs away the flush and pallor and shadows that are not grief, are not loss, are not anything other than shock and horror that she'd gone so far, that she'd lost control, that she'd killed a man (that man).

and

So what the fuck had he been doin' with Elizabeth fuckin' Boland, giving her chance after chance to cross the line? What the fuck was the point of a line if it might as well not be there at all? All because he liked her big blue eyes and the way she worked a tight sweater? Nah, that ain't him. That can't be him. That's the kind of shit that'll get you killed, and he's got three spent bullets in his pocket and a scar next to his heart if he ever needs the reminder again. 

He shifts in the driver's seat, reaching into his pocket and fishing the bullets out. Lining them up on the dashboard with a definitive click, click, click. He looks past them to the brightly lit valet station. He's been parked in the back of the lot for ten minutes now, waiting for Rhea to give him the go sign. He ain't hiding, doesn't need to, Elizabeth ain't lookin' for him, he just wants to make sure he sees her before she sees him. Get a good look first, so he can size up the situation.

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

Hello! So, I mean, this might be out of the blue, ambiguous and crazy to answer (but it's something I think about a lot, and you touched upon it in a previous ask and would love your further perspective on!) but let's say, at the end of The Return of The King, Grima lived! What do you personally think his journey and path would look like from there?

Grima asks are never out of the blue - I always want them <3 Thank you so much for asking!!

--

man ok - well Grima at the end of ROTK is in a really dark place. Frodo, Gandalf et al first run into Grima and Saruman on the road near the misty mountains as the make their slow return journey from Gondor. 

As they (Frodo, Merry, Pippin, Gandalf) came out again into the open country at sundown they overtook an old man leaning on a staff, and he was clothed in rags of grey or dirty white, and at his heels went another beggar, slouching and whining. 

[...]

‘Get up you idiot!’ he (Saruman) shouted to the other beggar, who had sat down on the ground; and he struck him with his staff. ‘Turn about! If these fine folk are going our way, then we will take another. Get on, or I’ll give you no crust for your supper!’ 

The beggar turned and slouched past whimpering: ‘Poor old Grima! Poor old Grima! Always beaten and cursed. How I hate him! I wish I could leave him!’ 

‘Then leave him!’ said Gandalf. 

a man who has never been in an abusive situation in his life, clearly. 

‘One thief deserves another,’ said Saruman (to Merry), and turned his back on Merry, and kicked Wormtongue, and went away towards the wood. 

Great guy, Saruman. 

And the famous scouring of the Shire bit that everyone on here misremembers when it comes to Grima’s whole situation: 

But Frodo said: (...) But I will not have him (Saruman) slain. It is useless to meet revenge with revenge: it will heal nothing. Go Saruman, by the speediest way!’ 

‘Worm! Worm!’ Saruman called; and out of a nearby hut came Wormtongue, crawling, almost like a dog. ‘To the road again, Worm!’ Said Saruman. ‘These fine fellows and lordlings are turning us adrift again. Come along!’ 

[Saruman tries to stab Frodo as he leaves and Sam gets ready to shank a bitch. Frodo stops him saying: ‘...He is fallen, and his cure is beyond us; but I would still spare him, in the hope that he may find it.’ ...]

He (Saruman) walked away, and the hobbits made a lane for him to pass; but their knuckles whitened as they gripped on their weapons. Wormtongue hesitated, and then followed his master. 

‘Wormtongue!’ called Frodo. ‘You need not follow him. I know of no evil you have done to me. You can rest and food here a while, until you are stronger and can go your own ways.’ 

Wormtongue halted and looked back at him, half prepared to stay. Saruman turned. ‘No evil?’ he cackled. ‘Oh no! Even when he sneaks out at night it is only to look at the stars. But did I hear someone ask where poor Lotho is hiding? You know, don’t you Worm? Will you tell them?’ 

Wormtongue cowered down and whimpered: ‘No, no!’

‘Then I will,’ said Saruman. ‘Worm killed your chief, poor little fellow, your nice little Boss. Didn’t you, Worm? Stabbed him in his sleep, I believe. Buried him, I hope; though Worm has been very hungry lately. No, Worm is not really nice. You had better leave him to me.’ 

A look of wild hate came into Wormtongue’s red eyes. ‘You told me to; you made me do it,’ he hissed. 

Saruman laughed. ‘You do what Sharkey says, always, don’t you, Worm? Well, now he says: follow!’ He kicked Wormtongue in the face as he grovelled, and turned and made off. But at that something snapped: suddenly Wormtongue rose up, drawing a hidden knife, and then with a snarl like a dog he sprang on Saruman’s back, jerked his head back, cut his throat, and with a yell ran off down the lane. Before Frodo could recover or speak a word, three hobbit-bows twanged and Wormtongue fell dead. 

A sad end to a very sad life. 

-

So that’s the canon ending, obviously. A very neat, pat ending where all the baddies are dead, everyone who is broken will disappear into an asylum and/or die take a boat to the grey havens and life will move on. 

How nice. 

-

Alright, now for the speculation! My favourite thing. 

Assuming Grima lived, god knows what his journey afterwards would look like. He’s mentally (and physically) in a bad way after having been physically (and emotionally) abused and starved by Saruman for the last year/two years. Saruman may have lost his powers, but he’s still terrifying force to be reckoned with. I don’t know how much Grima would be capable of on his own in terms of survival. 

That said, Grima’s made it this far. He’s clearly got something in him that’s keeping him alive. Something in him wants to live. It might not know how to go about doing that, but it’s there, and that’s important. 

So he’s stabbed Saruman, A+ work. The hobbits don’t shoot him. The question is then: does he take up Frodo’s offer or does his fuck off into the wilderness. 

I can see him going either direction, honestly. But I suspect, given that he’s starving and in a bad way physically, I suspect he’d stay for a time. Now, considering what’s happened to him in the general vicinity of Bagend, I’m not sure how long Grima will stay, but I do think he’d rest there for a short while. Get a proper meal or two in him. Take a bath. That sort of thing. 

From there he could go to somewhere like Bree or Dale, take up a new name/new life and try and move on, as much as a person can in a world that has absolutely no support networks for people who have gone through bad shit. 

If he stayed for a longer period with Frodo? I could see Sam putting him to work. 

‘I need someone to help me garden.’ 

‘...I know about horses?’

‘Plants are easier, trust me.’ 

‘....Are they though?’ 

Considering the fact that Grima has been dehumanized (Worm; like a dog; cur) and treated as worthless/unworthy by one of the more powerful beings in Middle Earth - and one who was once Great! Who was once wise and wonderful! I suspect he’s going to have a difficult time accepting kindness? 

Frodo, of course, would be generous and understanding, because it’s Frodo and that’s the measure of man he is. Truly one of the nicest and most forgiving and tender people in the series. 

Aragorn said of Grima that if he walked out of Orthanc alive it would be too good for him. 

(Everyone is a lot meaner in the books. Funnier, yes, but also meaner. Then there’s the weird Faramir moment where he’s all up on that “Numenorian Blood Quantum Is Important” nonsense (tell that to your brother who has no blood of the Westernese in him...) There’s a lot of Oooof moments). 

Frodo, though, Frodo is one of the genuinely kind and loving people who would never think such cruel things about anyone. 

But back to Grima, I think the line Gillian Flynn wrote about how when you’re weaned on poison, it makes kindness seem like a cruelty is very relevant here. The first step to healing is allowing yourself to admit that you deserve to be healed, that you deserve love. That’s a very hard thing to allow, to acknowledge is something you are worthy of having. 

And so it would be difficult, for him, to accept kindness and gentleness from Frodo, or anyone else. But if he was doing something to “earn” it, that might make it more palatable. 

Which is a shame, since if there is anyone who understands the power and allure of the dark lord/Saruman etc. and how that can mess you up and contort you into someone you don’t recognize anymore, it’s Frodo.

-

Would Grima go back to Rohan? I don’t think so. Unless there were some wild, unexpected circumstances that brought him there, I truly don’t see him returning home. He’s torched that bridge pretty successfully - at least, I’m sure that’s how he sees it. 

Now if he did. If something Bat Shit happened - and he went back. It would be wild and very emotional.  

A Rider of Rohan, lost in the shire: I’m looking for a Mr Baggins? I understand he might know where Gandalf is? We sort of need some magic help in Rohan. 

Hobbit: Turn left at the end of the lane, go past Grubby Harold’s llama farm, stop at the intersection with the red sign, take the third exit of the roundabout, turn right, turn left, turn left again, take the second switch back up the hill, at the crest of the hill, take the path that turns left at the big tree that someone carved Fuck Lobelia into and that should get you close. 

Rider: 

Rider: Right. 

Rider eventually shows up, Grima’s out front updating Sam on some shit that Pansy Fielding said to Fardulf Braceblower, an ongoing war that has existed since the Dawn of Time. Sam is like “Please never stop telling me all the gossip, I live for this shit.”

Frodo: How did you hear about this? 

Grima: I might have set up an informant’s network but it’s solely to trawl for entertaining gossip.  

Rider approaches: Oh dear gods. 

Grima: 

Grima: Go get fucked, Gundahar. 

Sam: Friend? 

Grima & Gundahar: No. 

Anyway. The rider tells Frodo that he’s after Gandalf because XYZ is happening in Rohan and Eomer-king is annoyed and “wants it dealt with, preferably yesterday”. Grima knows what’s up because you know, resident Spook Master also he was spending a lot of time around a lore-filled Wizard. Might as well get something for the years of mistreatment. 

Gundahar: He’s not coming back to Rohan. 

Frodo: We’re going on a road trip, Sam. Let’s get packed. 

Sam: I’m so ready for this. 

Grima: But I’m not going back to Rohan. 

Gundahar: He’s not coming back to Rohan. 

Frodo: Too late, he’s coming with us. Neither of us can be left alone for too long or we go weird in the head. 

Merry: Oh we’re going to Rohan? Well, as a member of the royal court I’m coming. 

Gundahar: .... How is this happening? 

Grima: Hobbits, they move in herds. 

Pippin: WAIT FOR ME! 

Gandalf is UPSET that he has to travel with Grima. Grima says it’s mutual. He doesn’t like wizards. Especially wizards in white. He gets weird about hoarding food when Gandalf is around. 

Grima then has to visit Theoden’s grave and have a lot of emotions about everything and it’s a Lot.

I don’t think he’d stay, though. Either he’d go back with Frodo or he might go on to Gondor or out east or something. Travel for a while. 

- 

I’ve gone off on some tangents here. Ahem. 

But in general, I see his journey going in one of two directions: one where he fucks off after murdering Saruman and takes up a life somewhere else like Bree, or wherever, probably drinks too much and is miserable until he dies. 

The other is where he accepts Frodo’s offer and either just chills in the Shire being the resident gossip-monger and mischief maker (Frodo: NO MISCHIEF. Grima: we can make a little mischief .., as a treat?) or he accepts the offer, stays for a while to get back on his feet and shake off some of the darkness, then goes off to travel around. Maybe he settles somewhere, maybe he doesn’t. Regardless if he stays or goes, it is a better ending to his life than he probably hoped for or expected. 

And it shows the power and importance of kindness and love. Healing only happens if there is love and gentleness. And it’s terrifying - of course it is - but it’s so necessary. 

-

Ok I am so sorry for my dissertation on Grima. I love talking about him so much.  

Thank you!! <3 <3 

[dialux]

Fic Writer Asks

Oooof tagged by four excellent writers- @ferrame, @skyeventide, @stormwarnings, and @tol-himling- so do check ALL of them out when you get a free mo (which I don’t have enough of!!!! Sadly!!!). Still, yk, it’s Friday, I’m home from my first week of work, and there isn’t anything really pressing to do apart from another 15k on that last TRSB fic which I’ve been procrastinating for too long..........

Here we go!

how many works do you have on AO3?

65

what’s your total AO3 word count?

1035292, which means I crossed a million words this year! I hadn’t realized that lmao

how many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Hell, I’ve written for too many. Top three are definitely ASOIAF, Tolkien and HP, but there are a couple others sprinkled through like... Fleabag (Yuletide fic), King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (Yuletide), Jodhaa Akbar (Yuletide), Padmaavat (me, losing my fucking mind over Mehrunissa in that movie), and... Good Omens? The Old Guard, too, for a while there. Oh, and let’s not forget the MCU that dragged me to AO3 in the first place

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I had no idea before I went looking, but- 

1. if you try to break me, you will bleed - the fic that will haunt me to the day I DIE

2. a tempest, a cyclone, a goddamned hurricane - that Sansa can see ghosts story

3. made weak by time and fate, but strong in will - the fic where James and Lily Potter live and defeat Voldemort through the power of lightning, rings and friendship

4. one burning candle, one wind-whipped flame - TOG fic!! I enjoyed this one, but still cannot believe it has more kudos than that Booker character study

5. we do not surrender - second in the time travel series, probably just because of sheer exposure lmao

do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to! Sometimes it’s late (....very late) but usually I do get to all of them. Unless I have no idea of what to say, at which point I mark it as read just so I can get that sweet, sweet “0″ in my ao3 inbox

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Enh, I don’t like sad endings, so... let’s just say none of them

do you write crossovers? if so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

One crossover. ONE. The one where Sansa lands in Middle-Earth and mistakes Boromir for her dad, kicks ass, takes names, drags Arwen out of Rivendell. The whole shebang

have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes! Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it isn’t, but it’s not like I wasn’t blooded in HP fandom circa early 2000s and that was a vicious set of reviewers on ff.net, so I don’t, like, mind. Keeps my ego from getting too big.

do you write smut? if so what kind?

Not often, and certainly not well, but everything that has been written has been.... very much more evocative than descriptive. Let’s put it that way.

have you ever had a fic stolen?

One GO fic that existed on a locked community in LJ- I think, like, 10 people had access to fic once it went private or something- I don’t remember the correct nomenclature- but I did see something being recced when the first season came out that just made me go “hm” for a second lol. NOT that it matters, or that I care- I certainly am happy to have all my stories from those dark times disassociated from my name- but it is an interesting thing to happen

have you ever had a fic translated?

Four- all into Russian, by a very, very sweet person that I don’t think is on tumblr at all, or I’d link them!

have you ever co-written a fic before?

One, recently, with @nienna324. It was definitely a very fun- and different experience- and one that made me grow as an author <33

what’s your all time favorite ship?

Lmao I’m more of a sibling / parental relationship author, with the attention span of a magpie. All time is literally until I see the next shiny thing!

what’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

That GODDAMN JonxSansaxSatin AU. It has everything done for it, all the plot, it’s gorgeous, but I’ve got no ideas for the dialogue and probably never will because I managed to write myself into a corner

what are your writing strengths?

Probably turns of phrase. Some think it’s purple prose, probably, but I call it poetry and turn my nose up at their snobbishness XD

what are your writing weaknesses?

Expository writing sucks ASS like you’d never believe

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Fun? esp if you’re willing to put in that effort

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter- no, I refuse to be embarrassed XD

what’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Right now? Got to be the Caranthir post-rebirth character study. There’s another trsb fic with Aredhel that I’m SUPER proud of, but it’s not published yet- which reminds me that I need to get back to that!!! 

Haven’t been on here in a while and have zero idea of who’s been tagged/finished this already, but do it if you haven’t already! 

[lumilasi]

I saw this in my feed and since I was pretty bored and FINALLY free from the said boredom, figured I could do this one. I generally enjoy question based tags, especially if they relate to art/writing/fandom/are some general things about favorite colors, music, foods, things about your home country etc.

(basically, you can tag me in stuff similar to listed above things and I’ll probably do them if I see them/have time lmao)

Fic Writer Questions!

How many works do you have on AO3? 

44 total. I used to have more but I’ve deleted an old Bleach one I knew I’d never continue to write, and two bnha ones for the same reason (those two were also at the very beginning stages so nobody missed a lot anyway)

What's your total AO3 wordcount? 

4 269 068......wow. It’s even MORE than I even imagined. Over 4 million words. 

....Someone take my writing tools away from me lmao

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

 Three. I started with MCU, moved on to Bleach and now I’ve done most ofr BNHA

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 

Crossroads - 3069 

Family Secrets - 3015 

Reanimate - 1534 

The neighbor - 809 

Espada and Fraccion - 782

.....Admittedly this list surprised me. Not the first three but the last two. The fifth is an one shot for Bleach that I wrote AGES ago. I also for some reason expected this list to match the bookmark list more lmao

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I always try to respond to every comment I get, but often times when it’s just one word or a heart emoji I don’t really know what to say, so I might not reply to those. I do appreciate every comment I get, and read every single one, even if I don’t respond

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? 

I don’t do angst endings typically, but Family Secrets is probs the most obvious choice, given what happens at the end. 

- and its not even the real end, because I couldn’t help myself and made two more stories for the AU that was like “hey! this character I made you all love so much actually DIDN’T die, he just had unfinished business back home” lmao

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you've ever written? 

Rarely, typically they’re between my own fics (the story that crosses the paths of Crossroads and Family Secrets AU’s, literally titled Crossover, creative name I know OTL I was out of ideas) 

Or between me and other people’s fics. Currently there’s two, both with Crossroads: one with Theteapotofdoom’s fic Something Good, and another with leontheneon’s fic Here with you. Both stories are basically a two part series that is non canon to actual Crossroads. The first story is finished, second one has two chapters left...that...I uh...struggle to write it seems OTL

(not tagging either person into this because Tea is very busy IRL right now so I don’t want to bother her, and Leon hasn’t been around in ages, IDK if they even use tumblr anymore)

Have you ever received hate on a fic? 

Not really no? I can only remember one time with somebody kind of demanding me to completely rewrite one fic in the past. It wasn’t really hate, more just...kinda unreasonable in my eyes? This was years ago by now.

While I did understand their side and the particular struggle they had (once they actually explained it, the first comment at the time came off pretty rude and demanding), I still feel them wanting me to re-write an entire multi-chapter fic just for them is a bit unreasonable, like said.

Like it wasn’t just couple of grammatical errors that was their issue, we’re talking weeks and even months long process of completely reworking multi-chapter story, because the grammar wasn’t tip top perfect. (I’m not a native speaker so there’s bound to be some mistakes; pointing out small occasional things is one thing - asking me to rewrite an entire multi-chapter story is another)

You can imagine that is not exactly high on my priorities list with IRL responsibilities and being more focused on the actual content of what I write, the ongoing stories I’m updating. This fic isn’t even finished yet either, so...yeah. Like after they explained their side of the story I was a bit more understanding, but its still....a bit ridiculous and unreasonable in my eyes to ask somebody to do such a massive overhaul when the story isn’t even finished yet?? Like maybe once its done and I have time I can go and edit it, but not when I haven’t even finished it lmao

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Nah. I don’t care about smut a whole lot personally. I much more enjoy writing emotional scenes, character interactions and mystery. Plot over porn basically lmao 

Have you ever had a fic stolen? 

I don’t...do people actually do this? It feels like such a weird and pointless thing to do. It’s fanfic. stuff you write for fun and for free, for people to read for free. I’d also imagine its pretty easy to get caught given AO3 shows when you first posted your story. 

Have you ever had a fic translated?

 Yes, a couple of times. In Russian and I think other one was Chinese?

Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

Writing the crossovers was kinda that? Like I asked feedback from Tea and Leon on how to write them. there was also actually third crossover story that was supposed to happen (only I wasn’t going to be the one to write it) but this project has been shelved as the other person had to drop majority of online activity due to some IRL health related things. (I’m just glad they recently contacted me to inform they were doing better)

What’s your all time favorite ship? 

Right now it’s..probably pretty obvious its Shigadabi, but I can never really say any ship is my all time fave, as it always changes depending on the fandom lmao. 

I guess my favorite character x proper sleep/emotional stability/happiness will always be the OTP

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Oof. I always try to finish every single one, and if I absolutely know I won’t, I tend to just delete them. Thankfully I’ve only done it thrice. Which I guess is still a lot, but compared to how much I write, in context not really? 

What are your writing strengths?

From what I’ve gathered of feedback, its typically emotional moments/character dialogue and interaction/character arcs and so. Mystery plots too. Or maybe that last one is just me lmao

What are your writing weakness?

Personally, while I tend to get positive feedback on both, sometimes I feel like I struggle to choose a good pacing for a fic, and fight scenes are always a pain. Namely, I might struggle with making the pace too long-winded and slow sometimes. Ironically, my IRL update pacing is probs a bit too fast in turn. (To add another layer of irony, I got an update ready for Unravel that I’ll post after making this tag)

Also writing shorter stories. I’ve been trying to write one-shots more (like the Spinaraki series thing) to kinda try and get myself to pack up my stories better and not let them always spiral out of control haha

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I did try to do that once with a fic I deleted, I had a native speaker help me with the canadian french bits. This person is no longer active on tumblr, and I deleted that fic because I realized I’d never finish it. 

Technically tho, as a non-native English speaker, EVERY word is in other language to me lmao. I could only add Finnish as an extra one easily, and it rarely makes sense to do so anyway.

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for? 

MCU. It’s what I originally made my AO3 for, as I felt brave enough to post things. I also can’t remember writing fandom related stuff before that, it was typically more oc related. Writing fics has helped me learn a lot about world-building, character consistency and all that stuff, without having to make everything from scratch (tho I do enjoy doing that as well of course). I feel like my original work writing has improved too thanks to my fic writing shenanigans in a way lmao. Tho that might just be me, IDK

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? 

Oooof. This changes a lot depending on the time. I can never really pick just one either: my current favorites are Stringmaster, The neighbor and Family Secrets

Stringmaster because I love building the Steampunk AU, and Tomura’s relationship with Dabi and his Sensei, The neighbor because I personally think the romance build up in that one is probably one of the best I’ve done so far (the character dialogue in that is among my favorites I’ve written as well) and FS, because it taught me a lot about character building through writing a character like Hisashi.

 Plus I just really like Hisashi. 

And baby Izuku and little Tenko are super adorable. 

And Inko is the best mum.

 Also the fact the whole story is so ironic in a sense its still kinda funny to me. 

The only writer I know that might be around rn is @nightlilly0110 soo...I guess I’ll tag them if they want to do this! Anybody who’s a writer can snatch this too of course ;)