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#Obi-Wan watched Qui-Gon die
tragedy-for-sale · 7 months
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Lingering Pain
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Whoever decided to have Obi-Wan's hair fall out of place to symbolize when he himself is falling apart is genius.
When he's fighting Maul, he doesn't want to defeat him, he wants to kill him. He's so angry, flashes of Qui-Gon lying lifeless on the floor go through his head and suddenly he's 25 again losing the only father he'd ever known. Suddenly, he's channeling all the rage of his youth and it consumes him because this isn't Maul versus Obi-Wan now, this is Maul versus a young man who'd never known loss like this.
Now notice all the lightsaber marks, and notice how they all come from Obi-Wan. Maul doesn't slash the wall. Maul has the advantage, he's calm, collected and he knew exactly what to say that would rile Obi-Wan, and it worked. All that trauma Obi-Wan went through with Qui-Gon's death, there wasn't a Jedi that could help him in the way he needed. So he buried all of it, but then Maul came back from the dead, and so did all that pain.
Maul still being alive isn't fair. It isn't fair that he got cut in half and was able to live when Qui-Gon didn't survive. Obi-Wan finds himself so angry because how does a creature so evil get to live and his master didn't? You see can it in his rage, it isn't fair, you can see the mournful root of his anger, it isn't fair, you can see it with each careless, striken blow, It isn't fair.
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pandora15 · 5 months
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i would just like it if one time. ONE TIME
if qui-gon would just like. not die during TPM?????
like I went to watch it in theaters for the 25th anniversary thing and honestly I was like really hoping that he'd survive this time but NOPE. i've been baited by the star war once again
and now obi-wan's sad. why would they do that to him.
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kraftykelpie · 22 days
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Sobbing like a fool laying in my bed because I had the sad thought of Ben and Cody on Tatooine in their old age (pre-ANH) and them going to sleep, holding hands.
Cody passes in his sleep. Obi-wan/Ben, feeling Cody's bright presence suddenly blink out in the force, shoots awake, palming for a heartbeat where he knows there is no longer one. They had talked about it, Cody had known his time was coming to a close, he was content with how the rest of his short life had panned out, by his beloved general's side, married and at peace (kind of). Ben saw it. He knew. When it would happen seemed indeterminate; if Ben knew when Cody was passing, perhaps he could have prepared to be ready for it. But real life doesn't often work like that.
Gently cradling Cody's cooling face in one of his palms, uttering quiet "why's" into the dark, and, "i wasn't ready to let you go".
A final keldabe kiss in farewell as he combs his fingers through Cody's curls for the last time.
Just like with Qui Gon, Satine, Anakin, Padmé (we'll be here all night if I list them all), the emotional gut punch of watching the light die (metaphorical in Anakin's case) in the eyes of people Obi-Wan deeply cared about. It caps off at Cody. This is why to me, he was so ready to face off against Vader (including normal plot relevant reasons), because not only was he getting Too Old For This Shit Anymore, but one of the strongest lights (love) in his life had died a few years prior. So instead of offing himself like a coward or giving into his grief all those years ago, and when Cody passed, he became a “self-sacrificial jedi” one last time. Whereupon he would pass into the Force, where hopefully, Cody would be waiting.
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frostbitebakery · 6 months
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Loud.
part one two three four five
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“Why are you buttering me up, Master?” Obi-Wan signs, taking another careful sip of the cookie shake.
Master Tholme unfolds his hands on the table, cane resting against his leg. “Because I understand that you might not want to participate in this mission,” he signs back. It must be one of those days where he doesn’t want to talk. Obi-Wan understands and lets the silence engulf them. “But the Council and I feel that this is where you need to be.”
.
“Master,” Obi-Wan signs and bows.
“Hello, Obi-Wan.”
It’s not the first time he’s seen Qui-Gon again after Melidaan’s parting gift almost killed him. Of course they’ve seen each other. Qui-Gon had been there for him while he recovered, had hovered over Master Tholme’s shoulder like a shadow.
“A particularly annoying shadow,” Master Tholme had commented drily back then. “Which is funny, considering.“
Obi-Wan opens his arms and Qui-Gon’s tall frame closes around him. Maybe a queezing too tight but… but that doesn’t matter. “How are you,” he taps on a broad shoulder.
He’s abruptly let go. Not pushed back, thankfully.
“I am well, thank you.” Qui-Gon falls silent.
Obi-Wan has forced himself to stop trying to make the awkwardness between them less uncomfortable by the time he turned sixteen and Master Tholme sat him down to explain why he should let Qui-Gon come to grips with everything that has happened between them on his own until Qui-Gon reaches out to him.
“How are you?” And the caring and heartbreak lingering in Qui-Gon’s eyes is too much.
“I feel prepared to accompany you on this mission.”
It had been Qui-Gon who had taught him sign language in different iterations useful across the galaxy, before and later. Tholme has taught him tap code, after.
“Then let’s not waste any time,” Qui-Gon says, eyes on his long padawan braid.
.
Meeting Anakin feels… weird in the Force.
“So you don’t talk? Ever?”
Obi-Wan shakes his head, amusement crinkling his eyes.
“You don’t want to or you can’t?” the boy asks before his eyes widen. “Both are fine!”
“Cannot,” he signs carefully, settling on an Outer Rim dialect.
“Oh, ok!”
It’s the beginning of a never ending nightmare. Tatooine. Naboo. The desperate attempts to stop a war from happening.
He keeps to the background, inconspicuous and invisible.
Which is the only reason he ends up in the plasma refinery complex.
.
“It’ll be alright, little one,” Qui-Gon murmurs, gentle fingers wiping tears away before they reach the mask. “Just squeeze my hand.”
“Master,” he taps, hiccups threatening to disrupt something in his throat.
“Take care of the boy.”
.
So he does.
He brings Anakin back to the Temple, watches over his nightmares in silence.
He kneels as Master Tholme cuts his braid.
He explains to the Council what he thinks.
Anakin is bright. Smart and a beacon in the Force. He’s older than usual, granted. But his connection to the Force is palpably vast and potentially dangerous if he isn’t trained to handle that connection. He’s safer in the Temple where they can watch over him and teach him.
The Council agrees.
.
He introduces Anakin to Depa.
Her dry wit has the boy relaxing. Her no-nonsense attitude is a guiding light, a steady framework he can lean on and count on.
Depa delights in showing him the Temple, the opportunities to learn and try out new experiences.
.
Shadow work piles up and suddenly Obi-Wan is running around the galaxy trying to put out fires.
When he’s slumped in the back door of an abandoned factory in the shady part of an Outer Rim planet, struggling to breathe and feeling like he’s dying, lightsaber in a death grip, he makes the decision to return to the Temple. The mask has to change or he will die because he is out of breath. Unacceptable.
The technicians look at him chagrined and apologetic, explain that this is all they can do at the moment, maybe he can take it a bit easier?
“No, you need to adjust the valves on—“ a small voice peeps up from behind his shoulder.
Obi-Wan has been aware Anakin is clinging to his back like a monkey bear. He’s ignored the looks he’s gotten on the way to the tech complex.
“Have at it, then,” he signs.
Anakin looks at him like he’s personally chosen every star in the galaxy as he hands over the mask.
.
“An order.”
“A strong suggestion,” Mace corrects.
“Call it what it is,” Obi-Wan signs, cutting through the air with his hands he’s so furious. “Chancellor Palpatine has no business wanting to spend time with Anakin.”
Mace sighs, leans back in the chair. “I’m aware, Obi-Wan.” He taps his fingers against the armrest but he’s releasing energy, focusing his thoughts, not code. “How are you feeling?”
The renewed esophagus has him out of the mission count for a bit yet, he’s slowly weaned off the artificial nutrition. Overall, he’s starting to feel a bit restless.
“Perhaps you want to enjoy Coruscant’s scenery while you’re here?” Mace asks, a twinkle in his eye. “Though I beg you to not get into trouble,” he adds with a frown. “Too much trouble, I mean. I forgot for a second who I was talking to.”
Spying on the Chancellor is not on Bant’s list of approved activities but what she doesn’t know…
Obi-Wan touches his chin and brings his hand forward.
.
“So you can either sign in the dark or write tap code with these gloves. You can adjust the brightness and still sneak around.”
“Thank you, Ani.” It’s one of the best gifts he’s ever had the honor of receiving. It solves a lot of problems on missions. He hugs the boy close and feels swept up in the thoughtfulness. “I don’t sneak.”
“You totally do and it’s so wizard!”
.
“You were supposed to be my Master!”
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One thing I do like about TOTJ's take on Dooku's fall is that it really highlights that the Dark Side makes you absolutely masochistic. (Mega long post ahead).
One thing TOTJ establishes is that Qui-Gon's death is absolutely on Dooku (no matter if the show itself doesn't seem to be aware of it).
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His tone is concerned and his attitude sympathetic and supportive, but he knows. He knows it's a Sith Lord (he even knows Maul's name). He knows Qui-Gon almost died and is marching right into another trap, but he asks questions anyway and affects ignorance.
"I've been warning them about the coming darkness for years," he says, "never to be taken seriously." Using the Council's skepticism as an occasion to complain about how they didn't believe him while lying by omission is a great case of that hypocrisy Dooku loves denouncing in others. Dooku would rather Qui-Gon share his disillusionment with the Jedi than actually do anything to help Qui-Gon. The Council don't believe him? Okay, Dooku, but YOU DO. You can just tell him what's going on.
But he doesn't.
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On some level, Dooku has to be aware of what's about to happen. Qui-Gon is walking into grave danger, and Dooku's response to that - before it happens, when there is still time to stop it - is to put the blame on the people who don't know shit while not doing shit himself. (Why can't Dooku be there to protect Qui-Gon, other than because he's already slavishly loyal to Sidious' plans?)
And this moment puts every subsequent action of Dooku's throughout the Prequels in perspective - particularly his relationships with Obi-Wan, Ventress and Yoda.
Dooku is a glutton for punishment.
I've written here about why I think the 'Box' from TCW 4x17 is meant to parallel Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon's mission on Naboo. The dioxis, ventilation shafts, the catwalks and lightsabers, the ray shields, the fire pit... Dooku's idea of a test to find the best mercenaries around is to have them survive what killed Qui-Gon (what he allowed to happen).
During the challenge, it's pretty obvious he starts to suspect Hardeen is Obi-Wan.
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Or at the very least, he's taking an interest in the man who supposedly killed Qui-Gon's own apprentice - Dooku's spiritual grandson (see RotS novelization), whom he's been trying very hard to either recruit or kill himself. And what does he do with that interest? Tries to push "Hardeen" to kill Eval in anger.
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Dooku, who still mourns the Padawan he knowingly let walk away to his death, watches a pantomime of his Padawan's death, while putting in mortal danger all he has left of said apprentice. If he knows Hardeen is Obi-Wan (and it's pretty obvious that he does), he tries to get Obi-Wan to Fall (or potentially die) in a scenario reenacting Qui-Gon's death. If he doesn't know for sure, then he's encouraging his all but grandson's killer to win the tournament because he admires him (for killing someone Dooku wanted by his side).
Whatever the outcome, Dooku chooses to relive his guilt and chooses to make the same choice to kill his loved one all over again, even though we know he hates that he made this choice:
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He misses Qui-Gon and needs him but tries to kill or destroy Obi-Wan, whom he needs and wants by his side. (I haven't counted just how many time he does try killing Obi-Wan in TCW while still expressing his indefectible admiration for him - it's frequent, the Box just stands out to me as one of the most noteworthy occasions.)
And he keeps doing stuff like that!! He keeps choosing the path that causes him the most pain. He does it with Sifo-Dyas, he does it with Yaddle, he does it with Yoda and he does it with Ventress.
Just look at him confronting Sidious about Qui-Gon's death:
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He KNOWS following Sidious got Qui-Gon murdered and he KNOWS Sidious will continue to kill or order him to kill people close to him. And yet he's quick to reassure Sidious that this doesn't change anything. Securing his position with Sidious matters more than his rage and grief. The ONLY WAY this behavior makes sense is if Dooku is fully aware that he had a choice about Qui-Gon's fate, and decides that this is the path he's on now: Sidious might make him kill everyone he cares about, but he's going to do it. Every time, things will play out the same.
Sidious tells him to kill Ventress, his new apprentice? Sure, why not!
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(And it's not even out of true loyalty for Sidious, because he constantly tries to double-cross him later on. It's pure self-destruction:)
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He hates it, Sidious promises him more of it, and he goes along with it!
This is why Yaddle's attempts at bringing him back don't work, in my opinion:
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"Whatever lies he's told you, whatever you have done, you can make up for it now by bringing him to justice." This might convince a man who is looking for atonement, except Dooku isn't. He is looking for punishment.
Killing or harming those close to him leaves him broken, furious or in pain? He'll just keep doing it.
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Sidious offers him nothing more than agonizing slavery? He'll keep on kneeling.
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That's when Yaddle literally offers him the Light - the light that is so much more powerful than the Dark that it has Sidious cowering, the light that can save him if he wants - Dooku just strikes her down, even though he was heartbroken over thinking he had killed her just a moment ago.
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He chooses to kill her, regrets it and hates himself for it, and chooses to kill her again. HE KEEPS MAKING THE CHOICE THAT HE KNOWS WILL HURT.
His remedy to guilt is to pick a shovel, because by God if he hasn't hit rock bottom yet he's going to dig!
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sp1d3rpu7k · 3 months
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What ultimately gets me every time about Star Wars(including the Star Wars Jedi Apprentice series) is how much Obi-Wan suffered throughout it all, as well as his destiny of infinite sadness. From before he had even become a man, he was fighting for the light and for good and it backfired in every instance. He worked hard as an initiate to find a master to take him on, but was ultimately unsuccessful until Bandomeer where Qui-Gon finally decided to take him. He did his best to be a good padawan and still follow the will of the force, especially once Melida/Daan happened and he chose to stay with the Young to help them fight. He still ended up leaving the order and breaking his bond with Qui-Gon to stay and help the Young. But Cerasi still ended up dead anyway and so he went back to the Jedi. We also know that Obi-Wan had a mission on Mandalore when he was still a padawan, where he was assigned to protect Duchess Satine Kryze, and where he consequently fell in love with her. Obi-Wan himself confirmed that he would have left the order(again) and chosen to stay with Satine if she had only asked him, but she never did. Obi-Wan wasn’t allowed that happiness or love. Then later Obi-Wan has to watch Satine be murdered by Maul right in front of him as he is helpless. He had to watch as Qui-Gon freed Anakin from slavery and decided to take Anakin on and thrust Obi-Wan into the knighting trials when he was clearly not ready. Obi-Wan had to watch as Qui-Gon dropped dead from Maul’s killing strike while protecting him and Anakin that same week. Obi-Wan had to promise to Qui-Gon to train Anakin, a challenge that Obi-Wan was in no way prepared or ready for as a freshly padawan-turned-knight. Obi-Wan had to suffer through slavery on Zygerria with Rex, an experience where he became severely injured and suffered immensely from both his physical injuries and the mental and emotional injuries of witnessing the other slaves hurting too. How about the Rako Hardeen mission? Obi-Wan had to do what the council(and the chancellor) asked and follow through with the mission, changing himself bodily and suffering mentally in the process. Obi-Wan was harassed over the mission and the fact that he did not inform people of the mission prior. Yet he was only doing what he had to- an undercover mission where the details HAD to be classified. How about Anakin’s betrayal? Obi-Wan had to watch as the boy he RAISED and loved like his own son or younger brother fell. Watched him turn so dark that he had to put him down. Obi-Wan had to force himself to do what needed to be done to keep Anakin from taking any further harmful and murderous actions. Obi-Wan had to deal with the fallout of his SON falling hard to the point where he slaughtered the jedi younglings in cold blood and turned away from everything Obi-Wan had taught him. Obi-Wan had to help Padme through her pregnancy and then urgently rush to find them good homes where they can be raised safely away from their father. Obi-Wan had to suffer through Order 66 and watching his men that he cared deeply for turn on him. Obi-Wan had to witness the chaos of Jedi masters and knights and padawans dropping one after the other from the betrayal of the clones(since the Jedi did not know of the inhibitor chips at the time- making it even more heartbreaking for them). Obi-Wan had to exile himself on Tatooine after everything that had gone down, withering away in both appearance and spirit. And then, he had to die, die by being killed by his own ex-padawan- his son.
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talkfastwalkfaster · 7 months
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Serenity ~ Ben Kenobi x Reader
☾ ⋆*・゚:⋆*・゚☾ ⋆・゚:⋆・゚☾ ⋆・゚:⋆・゚☾ ⋆・゚:⋆・゚☾ ⋆・゚:⋆・゚☾ ⋆・゚:⋆・゚☾ ⋆・゚:⋆・゚☾ ⋆・゚:⋆・゚
A/N: this is set about 5 years after rots. reader is about 27 & obi-wan is 43. i was going to make a valentine anakin fic but that plan moved so enjoy my other love, hermit obi-wan. this is my first time writing smut so it might not be the best. also, if you have any feedback, it's welcomed & appreciated :)♡ WC: 3,041 Warnings: MDNI, smut, some angst
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☾ ⋆*・゚:⋆*・゚☾ ⋆・゚:⋆・゚☾ ⋆・゚:⋆・゚☾ ⋆・゚:⋆・゚☾ ⋆・゚:⋆・゚☾ ⋆・゚:⋆・゚☾ ⋆・゚:⋆・゚☾ ⋆・゚:⋆・゚
Tatooine was known for its extremely warm temperatures, but today was worse than ever. Ben was drenched in sweat the entire day, making him wish they could afford a cooling system to install within their home. 
He noticed you never seemed to sweat as extensively as he did. He assumed it was because you were a native of the planet. 
“(y/n), are you certain that our animals will survive this weather?" Ben called out from the entrance of your home. His thoughts were consumed by his trusted stead, Eopie may have been able to sustain this weather in previous times, but that didn't ease his worries.
Ben headed into your house and over to the kitchen where you had been for the past few minutes. 
He rested his hand on your lower back and peered over your shoulder to watch you chop up some vegetables for dinner. If he was honest, he was a little envious that this heat was seemingly not affecting you as it was him.
Your mouth formed into a small smile as you continued cutting vegetables, “I’m certain, Ben, they’ve survived hotter weather than this before. They’ll be fine.”
He exhaled, his shoulders deflating as he continued to gaze at you. He knew his worries were futile, yet his concerns wouldn’t falter. “I know, I know. I just can’t help but worry for them.” 
This was his life now, he had accepted becoming a farmer ages ago, but there was still a lot more that he would have to come to terms with; he was still haunted by memories of the war, watching Anakin fall to the dark side, watching Qui-Gon die, watching Satine die, watching his beloved Commander and battalion turn against him in the blink of an eye…
He rubbed the back of his neck, attempting to shake the weight that always seemed to be weighing him down. “I suppose it’s just the heat getting on my nerves. It feels as though the heat of a hundred suns is shining down. I don’t know how you’re acting all nonchalant, I feel like I might as well be burning and yet you’ve barely broken a sweat.”
You glanced over your shoulder to look at him, “Well I have lived here all my life, I’m used to the heat.” The truth was that the heat always did manage to bother you a little, but you had grown up in the scalding temperatures, you were, unfortunately, accustomed to them. It made no sense for you to complain about it. 
“I don’t know how you do it if it’s not the heat that’s unbearable, it’s the awful sandstorms that are always passing through here,” Ben complained. Despite having lived on Tatooine for a while now, it seemed as though no matter what he did, he could never get used to the heat. His mind digressed toward Anakin and his hatred toward this planet, and he finally seemed to understand his point of view. But Ben quickly pushed that thought away as his heart ached each time his mind brought up his former student. 
He was brought out of his trance by the sound of your voice. “You’ll get used to them. Sure, they might not be ideal but Tatooine isn’t as bad as it could be. I mean the war never came here and the Empire has little interest in this planet. The weather may not be perfect and there are always things that could be improved here, but i can’t think of living anywhere else,” You mused. You knew that Ben got stuck in his head easily and you’ve known him long enough to see the signs of it. 
His brow always started to furrow and he stroked his beard, seemingly without even realizing it. You’ve figured out that the best way to bring him back to the present was to talk about where you are. Even though you’re not necessarily fond of praising Tatooine, he needs it, and that’s all that matters to you. 
“I wish I had as much patience as you do, my dear,” he sighed, taking in another deep breath. 
It all seemed so normal, this was a conversation that any couple could have. To any outsiders, you two would be seen as a regular husband and wife, like any other married couple in the galaxy. Ben was slowly starting to feel content with his life here, he could almost forget everything that happened five years prior. He could almost pretend that he did not come to Tatooine because of his failure, that he didn’t have to go into hiding, and that his life didn’t completely spiral because of one order.
Your face softened, knowing how difficult it’s been for Ben. It always seemed as though he was unable to completely move forward, despite his best attempts, because of whatever happened in his past. “Well, you've only been here what, 5 years? You have to give yourself time to adjust, sweetheart."
A faint smile stretched across his lips when you called him ‘sweetheart’. It was the most endearing pet name you had ever given him and he felt a warmness throughout his chest whenever you used it. It made him feel normal, he didn’t have to worry about his former life as Jedi Master and General Obi-Wan Kenobi anymore, he could just be Ben, your husband.
He chuckled softly, watching as you began to cook the vegetables before wrapping his arms around your waist from behind. “I know, darling, I know…” he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck and sighed, breathing in the scent of you, something that always relaxed him.
As you cooked, your mind briefly wandered to Coruscant, Ben had once mentioned that he was born and lived most of his life there. You wondered if the planet was anything similar to Tatooine or if it was the complete opposite. You had always wanted to ask him more about his past, what he was like before you met him 3 years ago, and yet, for some reason, you could never bring yourself to give in to those desires.
However, as the two of you stood in the kitchen, you believed that now would be a better time than any to ask him, seeing as this was the first time in a while that he was truly beginning to relax. You hummed softly, attempting to keep the peaceful environment that had been created, “You said you were from Coruscant right? Is it very different from here?”
Ben stiffened slightly from his position behind you before forcing himself to relax, he knew you had no ill intent with your question. If this was any other time, he would have avoided your prodding, but for once, he decided to indulge you, even if only slightly. “It’s very different from here, my dear.” he held you tighter and kept his head resting in the crook of your neck, your familiar scent had always given him a sense of peace and calmness, something which he craved, wishing he could forever be engulfed in it.
“Coruscant makes Tatooine look like a ghost town. It’s full of large buildings and many different levels. You could always hear the buzzing of speeders and people clamoring to numerous places,” Ben paused for a second, wondering how much more he should tell you, before ultimately deciding it’s best to keep it brief, “Let’s just say there was never a dull moment there, my love.”
You decided to push your luck, desperately wanting to know more about your husband. You murmured, as if trying not to startle Ben with your next question, “Do you ever miss it?”
His heart immediately constricted at the thought, though he quickly dismissed it. There was no reason for him to start dwelling on what-ifs, this was his life now, and there was no changing the past. “My life there? No, not at all,” he replied quickly, the lie coming out easy. 
This has become a type of dance for him, every once in a while you would try to inquire about his past and he would always find ways to avoid giving too much detail. He would only ever respond vaguely enough to not make you suspicious while also satisfying your curiosity. He couldn’t bring himself to tell you what his past life actually entailed, it was still too raw, too painful. He didn’t want you to worry either. He knew that he couldn’t hide who he once was from you forever, but he couldn’t tell you today, not now. 
Ben rested his chin on your shoulder and muttered “I wouldn’t want to go back.” A half-truth, he’s not as fond of the planet as he used to be, but it still holds some sentimental value to him. It’s not that he would never want to go back to Coruscant, it’s that he can’t. If he ever tried he knew the Empire would be on him as soon as he was even remotely close to the planet’s atmosphere. 
You finished cooking the vegetables and raised your eyebrows slightly surprised, not expecting that answer from him. “Never?” you inquired, feeling slightly bewildered. “You’d really never want to go back? Was it that bad?”
Ben held you tighter and exhaled, that part of him died years ago. To him, Obi-Wan died the moment he left Anakin to die on Mustafar — he had been, in a way, reborn as Ben. He was just Ben Kenobi, a simple farmer, and your husband. Nothing more, nothing less. “It was fine, nothing particularly interesting happened to me when I lived there,” he lied again, giving you a soft kiss on the side of your neck hoping that this topic of discussion would die out soon.
You sighed at his words and murmured, “Dinner’s ready.” You decided to let the topic drop, knowing that he wasn’t exactly telling you the truth, but you hoped that one day he would trust you enough to let you completely in. 
The two of you ate dinner in silence, both of you seemingly lost in your thoughts. Ben had intrigued you from the start. You had met him at a market in Mos Espa, and he immediately stood out to you. From the way that he held himself to the way he talked. He looked like someone who had seen the galaxy, who had actually experienced life, something you had always wished to do but never had the luxury. His eyes — his beautiful, entrancing sapphire grey eyes that were like pools of sorrow. They showed a variety of complex emotions, something that made you want nothing more than to break down his highly built-walls and see who he truly was. 
Ben was never one to speak much while eating, he felt there was no need to fill the silence with meaningless chatter — he wanted to just enjoy being with you, you were everything to him. 
He had never thought that he would be able to have this, that he’d be able to feel happy again. For the first two years that he had lived on Tatooine, he had expected that he would be alone forever, that he had deserved to live a life of isolation. But then you came along and completely wrecked all those painful thoughts. 
Ben hadn’t realized that he was being completely quiet, he was still processing that he was married and a farmer — he never thought this was how his life would turn out. “Thank you for the dinner dear,” he remarked appreciatively. 
The corners of your mouth turned upward and your eyes brightened ever so slightly at his gratitude, “You’re welcome. I’m sorry though, I know it’s not much-”
He interrupted, “Don’t worry yourself, it’s perfect… You’re the best, you know that?”
You held back a smile, unable to resist teasing him a little. “Am I now?”
Ben brought your hand up to his lips and kissed the palm gently, “You certainly are, my dear. You are the best thing to happen to me in years and I wouldn’t have it any other way."
You leaned forward and kissed him, deciding that no words would be able to encapsulate how you felt towards him.
His heart fluttered as you kissed him, it was so tender and he was more than willing to return it. Your lips were soft and inviting, and he couldn’t resist pulling you into his lap, his hands gently caressing your face. In response, you wrapped your arms around his neck, desperately wanting to be closer to him.
You couldn’t help but moan softly into the kiss, your body was reacting to his and you were so comfortable being in his arms. He was all you needed in life, there wasn’t anything else that mattered. His hands slowly drifted down and began rubbing small circles on the small of your back. 
Your heartbeat quickened as the two of you pulled apart, the feeling of kissing him was intoxicating. You started to subtly grind your hips down, desperate for any type of friction. 
Ben gasped softly at your ministrations and quickly connected your lips again. The kiss between the two of you was full of love and passion. Your hands were everywhere, one wrapped behind his neck and your other around his shoulder, as if you were trying to entangle yourself with him.
Ben deepened the kiss, his tongue darting out and exploring your mouth. He couldn’t take it anymore and picked you up, heading straight for your shared bedroom. Your arms were tightly wrapped around his neck and you kissed all over his face and neck as he took you to the room. 
Once you reached the bedroom he gently laid you down on the bed and slowly made his way on top of you, wanting to savor each moment. He propped himself up on his elbows and looked at you with an expression that could only be described as pure, devoted love before lowering himself and kissing you again, this time slower and more intimate than he had previously. 
Without breaking the kiss, he started to tenderly remove your tunic from your body, revealing your naked top to his gaze. The rest of your clothes were quickly removed and thrown off the bed as Ben began to kiss you everywhere — your neck, your shoulders, your chest, anywhere he could get his lips on. His hands slowly made their way down your chest, squeezing and massaging your breasts before finally heading towards your neglected pussy. You were completely entranced by his touch, his hands were sending shivers throughout your entire body, making you tremble with anticipation.
You whimpered in pleasure as his hands moved downward and he inserted one finger into your dripping folds while lightly rubbing circles on your clit with his thumb.  You hastily tugged on his own tunic, stripping him until both of you were naked on the bed. You grasped his shoulders and spread your legs open wider, inviting him to come closer. Ben slotted himself in between your thighs and hovered on top of you, his arms caging you in. 
Ben shifted slightly, slipping one hand in between your bodies to grasp his cock. He dragged the tip of it through your folds a couple of times before finally sinking into you. You moaned as he pressed himself closer to you, wrapping your legs around his waist as you adjusted to the size of his cock. 
You gripped his shoulders tighter, nails digging into his skin as you begged, “Ben, please, move.”
He slowly began to rock his hips, not wanting to rush this moment. The love between the two of you was palpable, your bodies fit together perfectly as if you were made for each other.  He moved his head to your neck, pressing soft kisses into the crook of it. He knew right then that everything he went through was worth it if this was his fate. All of his struggles and hardships faded away as if all that mattered was you and him. 
Your moans grew louder as he gradually picked up his pace, the wet squelching sounds of your skin meeting filled the room. Your nails raked down his back, pleasure completely filling your senses, the only thought on your mind was Ben. 
As your lips met again, the kiss was tender yet rough, a juxtaposition that seemed to also perfectly describe your husband. You could feel your orgasm looming, squeezing his cock and pulling him deeper into you. He moaned into the kiss, his hips stuttered, spilling inside of you, coating your insides with his cum. His orgasm triggered your own, whining loudly as you spasmed around him, your whole body trembling as you rode out your high.
The two of you laid there for a while, basking in each other’s presence before he slowly pulled out of you, the mixture of your cum slowly running down your pussy and thighs. 
You leaned up and gently kissed the side of his mouth, “I love you, Ben.”
A soft smile grew on his lips, his heart was overflowing with his love for you. He had never felt like this with anyone but you — you were his person and he was yours, you were perfectly suited. He had no doubt in his mind that you were his soulmate, and he’d thank the Maker that the Force led him to you. “I love you too, my dear.”
You looked up at him lovingly, knowing that this was where you were meant to be, everything seemed right, everything made sense, when you were with him and you wouldn’t have it any other way. You knew in the back of your mind that you still had ways to go with Ben, but in this moment, none of that mattered, you’d have him in any way you could.
He exhaled and pressed his forehead against your shoulder — leaning against you in this way felt very nice. His body, mind, and soul felt rejuvenated just by being in your presence.
The two of you shifted so that you were laying your head on his chest and your legs were intertwined. Slowly you and Ben drifted asleep, your bodies, minds, and souls forever entwined.
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artemisdesari-blog · 2 months
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The trouble with writing a long AU is sometimes it sparks ideas for others based off narrative choices. In this case; what would have happened if the deal between Dooku and Fett in Careless To Let It Fall had been allowed to happen.
After killing Komari, Fett encounters Dooku who offers him the job of being the progenitor and trainer of an army of clones. So good, so canon. In Careless this is expanded on as a deal where two hundred thousand men are grown and trained purely for the purpose of overthrowing the Republic Senate who are responsible for, among many things, supporting the New Mandalorian's take over of Mandalore (leading to something of a cultural genocide) and the mission to Galidraan where Dooku was given all the wrong information as part of a Death Watch trap, but Jango shot first. Obviously there are more issues than that, and Jango is in full on revenge and not thinking clearly mode, but that's the base of it. As Jango’s payment for helping the Jedi effectively overthrow the Senate (cesspool of corruption that it is) Jango will be given fifty thousand of those men to use to wipe out any Death Watch in hiding and take back Mandalore. Obviously, neither Dooku nor Jango mean to keep their end of the deal. Dooku knows Palpatine has bigger plans and will work on Jango as much as possible to make a larger army and Jango intends to just abscond with every clone when the time comes and wipe out any Jedi who come for them.
This where Careless and whatever this AU is would diverge. In Careless Qui-Gon Jinn lives, Obi-Wan goes off to do his own thing, and Fett gets aggressively mind wiped and controlled by Dooku and Sidious so that he truly becomes the major asshole we all love. There's other stuff, but that hasn't been revealed yet even though I'm at chapter 100.
In this universe, Qui-Gon would die and the Trade Federation, humiliated by how Sidious used them, would find a way to off the Chancellor of the Republic as a final fuck you. Maybe Palpatine’s death is just an accident. Either way, Sidious is out of the picture but the clones are already in production and the Senate is still a total cesspool of corruption and arrogance and greed. Without Sidious to help facilitate the plan of playing one side of a conflict against the other, Dooku has to rethink and do it fast. He rejoins the order (or stays, some agree he left before Qui-Gon died and just stopped by to visit, others think it was what caused him to leave and I am too tired and lazy to check which is correct), forms a relationship with Obi-Wan even though he doesn’t bring him into the plan because he can tell Obi doesn't have time due to Anakin’s everything, because I am trash for Grandpa Dooku stuff, and begins to quietly convince younger and more idealistic Jedi that the Senate needs an overhaul, usually approaching them after missions gone wrong, while periodically checking in on Jango and the clones.
All on Kamino appears to be going according to the revised plan, except its actually going according to Jango’s plan. Jango pulls in the trainers and spends a couple of years weeding out the ones he can't actually trust as much as he hoped while quietly adopting a few dozen clones, including many fan faves. Other trainers adopt other clones, those clones adopt brothers, they basically become a group of clans with Jango as their Mand'alor. Dooku’s Jedi come for their one hundred and fifty thousand soldiers who will help them overturn the Senate and the clones turn on the Jedi, capture them, and head off to Mandalore to take what Jango has promised them with Fett as their leader and Cody as his right hand. Predictably, Obi-Wan is sent to Mandalore to deal with the fall out while the rest of the Jedi Council try to work out what the actual fuck happened and how Dooku managed it.
In all likelihood this would result in the Jedi leaving the Republic because the fact that Dooku managed to draw a good number of them into the mess would catch attention and make things very difficult. We would probably end up with some Codywan (because this is me) but that would probably only be implied at the end rather than the focus.
But, yes, the danger of long form AUs and the ideas that narrative choices spark. Another one for the maybe some day pile.
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the-greatest-8 · 4 months
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I love the fact Obi-wan Kenobi seems to have this permanent inability to not sass anyone within his vicinity. The Sith? Prime sass material. Other Jedi? The man dabbles respectfully. Other Council members? Bit scary, but it can be done. The Clones and any sentient he comes across? A perfect opportunity.
It doesn't quit, I fully believe half the reason Yoda wanted Obi-wan on his lineage was the sheer sass the little tyke emitted. Yoda was likely chilling with all the kids in the creche when in comes Obi-wan, the walking disaster. Yoda probably spent 10 minutes with this kid and decided, 'Oh yeah, this one's mine.' I'm delusional but you can't take that theory from me.
I'm all for (gremlin)Yoda, and initiate Obi-wan working together on pranks. I want that so badly.
It feels like a lot of people forget that Yoda loves Obi-wan, like he loved Qui-Gon and Dooku(Despite the rocky/soured relationship). I won't pretend I agree with how he pushed Qui-Gon and Obi-wan together, but Yoda was never intentionally malicious(how was he to know Qui-gons and Obi-wans bad luck would merge to something's completely batshit insane?), dudes like 900 years old- In his mind, he likely grew up around a completely different set of what's acceptable for children. Yeah, all the official sources says Yoda held Obi-wan in 'high regards' and 'respected' him, but he also trained him, and watched him grow. How could you not love someone after that? I truthfully believe Yoda loved a lot of people- and knew almost all of them no doubt, because he was in the creches, he watched many of his fellow Council members grow- had likely seen many die.
Damn, this started off as a Obi-wan is a sassy little mess to Yoda has likely lost a lot of people he loved.
Honestly tho debate me if you have a different take I like hearing other perspectives!
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gffa · 1 year
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This week’s Ahsoka episode unfortunately reignited those tiresome “Jedi child soldiers” accusations in the fandom and of course demonizes the Jedi. What are your thoughts?
Honestly, I thought it was fine. I get why a lot of us have had our nerves scraped raw by fandom constantly harassing us and trying to scream us into bad faith arguments on stuff like this, so I'm hardly going to wag my finger at anyone feeling further scraped raw by this, but genuinely didn't bother me because the show never blamed the Jedi for the position they were put in, hell, Anakin even basically defended it. I get it, it's Felony, we're used to often assuming the worst about him and who knows maybe it was meant as an indictment, but it genuinely didn't come across that way to me and, further, Filoni has proven himself to have drifted far enough from Lucas' core narratives on enough subjects that he now has to prove himself every time to me before I take his word of god commentary into consideration, so if he tries to say otherwise, no he didn't goodbye felony. And, yeah, fandom has been demonizing the Jedi with this, but there's nothing some people in the fandom won't use to demonize the Jedi with, so I'm not going to live my life anymore by what bad faith actors have to say, and instead focus on what's in the show. Where, in the show itself, Ahsoka is a child put into a war that the Jedi never wanted for her, but it was literally fight or die. Lucas even says that that's the quandary the Jedi are put into, that it goes against their morals to get into a war, but it was either compromise on that or everyone dies. When Ahsoka asks, "What if I wanna stop fighting?" the answer is, "Then you'll die." I saw that as a straight line from what Lucas said was the point of putting the Jedi into the war, that it's a shitty position for them to be in, it's against their principles, it's what led to their deaths, but it was that or everyone dies. What kind of choice is that? So, that's the context of Ahsoka being 14 here (as well as we have to remember that Star Wars is a story for children and having younger protagonists is to give their audience a character to latch onto, not everything is a "child soldier" just because a young kid is fighting, GENRE TROPES EXISTS OUTSIDE OF THE NARRATIVE), it's not "the Jedi didn't care about their children", it was "the Jedi were desperately trying to save lives and they weren't perfect about it because NOBODY CAN BE PERFECT and we shouldn't try to make people be perfect because that only leads to disaster, but it still hurt to watch". Ultimately, the point of the episode was that Ahsoka chose to keep fighting, chose to keep fighting to live, chose to accept Anakin's words about how death and destruction were part of her, but she was more than that, too. The show specifically says she's more than that through Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Qui-Gon. The show says that she's more than just a soldier through having everything of all those Jedi in her. For me, that's pretty Jedi-positive, to have Ahsoka come to her choice to live by having her Master say, yeah, Vader's part of us, but so are the rest of the Jedi, and that's what allows her to rise above everything she's been struggling with. Ahsoka was a soldier as a child, but her entire culture is part of her, and her entire culture was more than just soldiers, she was a Jedi, she had thousands of years of Jedi putting all of themselves into her, she has their philosophies, their art, their rites, their customs, their words, their history, their compassion, she literally has their thousand-year-old Padawan training droid with her. The whole point is that the Jedi were forced to be soldiers and that hurt like hell, it created a terrible scar that they'll always carry with them and their legacy, but that ultimately the Jedi Order is more than that one war. Anakin and Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon and Dooku and Yoda are more than that. And Ahsoka is more than that, too, because she is all of them and more, just as any Padawan she may take will be all of them and more, too.
And that's so Jedi, that's why teaching is so foundational to who they are (and I love that that's why Ahsoka gets so hurt by Anakin's joke about how teaching isn't all it's cracked up to be, it feels like a dig at her specifically, but it's also part of the theme of how over and over and over we see how much Jedi LOVE teaching as a fundamental of their entire culture), that you pass on what you've learned, that every Jedi who comes after you is everything you can give them and then more.
I love that so much!! And fandom acting in bad faith about it isn't going to take it away from me!! 😂
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lastminutestarwarsfan · 7 months
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Its honestly so painful to me, the sheer amount of turmoil that Anakin has experienced in his life. If you really sit down and think about what he's been through, he truly is one of the most tragic characters in fiction.
Born a slave to a single mother on a backwater, forgotten, barren world with no opportunities (Sidenote as much as we laugh at the "I don't like sand" meme, it actually is a meaningful line. He hates that world, that life, wants to put it behind him. Can't help but think of the mother he abandoned there)
Forced to choose between freedom and leaving his mother to her fate. A ridiculous amount of pressure to put on a 9 year old
Loses the only father figure he's had, and ultimately the only person to truly show faith in him, almost immediately after finding him
Becomes a burden and disappointment to a reluctant, inexperienced master (Before you come at me, I ADORE Obi-Wans and Anakins relationship. I love their banter, and I truly think they loved one another ridiculously and my heart breaks at what they became. But I do think that Anakin felt like a burden and disappointment sometimes. Especially at the beginning, Obi-Wan only really takes him on out of duty to Qui-Gon, it wouldn't have been his own choice. He didn't believe in him the way Qui-Gon did. And because Obi himself was grieving and young and inexperienced, he didn't have the confidence to guide Anakin the way he should have. He falls back on the rules too much, after bending them to take him on in the first place. He's too strict with him, too harsh. He doesn't tell him how much he loved him until it's too late, which just adds to the angst)
Is constantly told that he needs to let go of his attachment to his mother whilst being plagued my dreams of her death.
Watches his mother die in his arms with the knowledge if only he could have done something sooner he could have saved her (and this is the moment I think, pivotally, that his capacity for the dark side becomes real. Not the moment when he kills the Tuscans in anger just after. But in this quiet moment of death. The moment that voice in his head starts burrowing like a worm "Not enough, more, better, faster, stronger". If he could just burn hotter, brighter, push harder, then no one else would die.)
Is thrust into a war at 19
Is entrusted with a 14 year old apprentice at 20. Loves her like family only to watch the order he gave up everything for, the order that let his mother die, the order that is the reason he cannot have a normal life with his wife, drive his little sister away from him.
Plagued to madness by visions of his wife dying. Goes insane to try to save her only to be her own downfall. Is cut into pieces and left to burn alive by his brother. Suffers excruciating pain being pieced back together. Is forced to live with the knowledge that he led to the love of his life's death, where every breath is a reminder of the monster he has become.
Becomes increasingly aware that his new master, the only person he has left, the person he betrayed everyone for, the person he trusted in his times of need and thought understood him, would toss him away without a second thought and replace him with Luke.
That smile when he takes off the mask and looks at Luke in Return of the Jedi means so much. It's so pure, and light and carefree for those few seconds. The first time we've ever seen him truly at peace. He is finally free from the pain.
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tragedy-for-sale · 7 months
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I'm never getting over how sick he looks
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It's a very dull looking scene, almost grayscale. That choice shows you just how sickening this mission is to Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan is hunched over, head between his knees. He looks physically sick. Everyone looks to him, he can say 'no,' but how could he possibly deny them? His life is the Jedi, and in the pursuit of peace he's asked to do something he cannot but a Jedi Master can, without question, Obi-Wan Kenobi can and he must.
The second shot, that's the face of resignation. He can't even speak, you can see he almost opens his mouth but all he can do is nod. This is where we see the line of duty and the individual. When challenged, Obi-Wan chooses the light, at the expense of himself, at the expense of those he loves.
He knows Anakin will never forgive because when challenged, Anakin doesn't choose the light, he chooses who he loves. And Obi-Wan cannot tell Anakin that choosing those you love isn't the correct choice.
This is the hero sacrificing you to save the world, this is Obi-Wan sacrificing himself, sacrificing Anakin for the greater good. But what's so good about letting your best friend think you've slipped away into death, mere feet from his grasp? Where's the good in watching someone you love die?
Obi-Wan remembers watching Qui-Gon's last breath leave his body, he never recovered. Where's the good in knowing all the pain your about to put your best friend through? The good in always seeing your ghost?
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thecleverqueer · 1 year
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Y’all.
The point of the Clone Wars flashback in the Ahsoka series was partially fan service. Yes. But, those of you that are mad that Obi-Wan and Cody and Waxer and Boil and Mace Windu and Ursa Wren and Gar Saxon and Maul and Bo-Katan Kryze and Rook Cast weren’t in it missed the whole goddamned point of the flashback, so let me explain:
Everyone has bitched tirelessly about Ahsoka being stoic and reserved and “not like herself” (I will die on the “she’s in her forties…leave my baby girl alone… she’s tired, sore and premenopausal…” hill, still…)
Ultimately, she’s been “out of character” because she was carrying all of the Anakin trauma around like a two hundred pound weight on her shoulders. She blamed herself, and she feared who she was so much so that she was unwilling to get close to others and spread the wisdom that the years have afforded her…something a Jedi just does. She couldn’t bring herself to do it.
Enter this sequence… the moment she FINALLY lets go of the Anakin guilt/ hang ups.
I knew something like this was coming. Some moment that changed her back to the more recognizable Ahsoka. The one that embraced her friends. The one that was willing to share the lessons that she learned with others. The one that would have loved to have a padawan of her own. The one that wasn’t always running away, being flaky.
This was it. And, there were two big takeaways from the moment.
1.) Anakin was always Vader, and Vader was always Anakin… and she had nothing to do with that. Her leaving the order played literally no role. It wasn’t on her. It never was. He was already teetering on that line way before she entered his life. I mean, he slaughtered an entire village of Tuskens down to the last woman and child. He said and did questionable shit to Ahsoka herself too throughout their time together. Was he like a brother to her? Sure. Was he borderline abusive at times? Also, yes. Regardless, her eyes were opened in that first battle…where he basically told her to fight or die. Fair, under the circumstances… still, Ahsoka was trained to be a Jedi, not a murderer. Anakin relished in it. She didn’t really, especially when it came to losing her own men in battle. The clones were her friends, her brothers. Anakin didn’t seem to give a shit about the clones. Unsurprising.
2.) She realized that it wasn’t just Anakin’s legacy that she would carry on. She has her own legacy. It doesn’t have to be one of death and destruction. Is Ahsoka a lot like Anakin? Yes. She’s impulsive, hot-headed, stubborn, emotional, and intense, but that’s not all. Ahsoka is caring, patient, understanding, and loving in a compassionate sense. She’s grown wise, strong and sage. Anakin isn’t the only part of her line and that legacy… Obi-Wan is a part. Qui-Gon is a part. Yoda is a part. Ahsoka is a little bit of all of them. It made her realize that she’s so much more than just a warrior. She’s a great Jedi like the ones that came before her. Inevitably, she has a choice. She can choose not to serve the dark, despite it being part of that legacy, and she can pass on what she has learned without fear.
The moment was about just that. It wasn’t meant to actually be an episode of The Clone Wars. The flashback served a very specific purpose as laid out above. There are 133 episodes of The Clone Wars if you want to watch a Clone Wars episode with all the characters of the Clone Wars. This moment was about Ahsoka overcoming her guilt and fear caused by Anakin becoming what he became so that Ahsoka could actually embrace who she is. Specifically.
Now we have a happy, more well-rounded, Gandalf-like Ahsoka that has slayed her Balrog. Now we get to see her be the Jedi she has always been inside. Now we will see her be there for her friends. Now we will see her mentor and share her wisdom and teach the ways of the ones that came before her without fear.
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vodika-vibes · 26 days
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So, I had a thought.
Imagine
The situation on Mandalore is becoming untenable. Young Duchess Satine has a death mark on her head, and the jedi tasked with guarding her know that they need to get her off planet.
Qui-Gon's plan is simple. Obi-Wan and Satine go one way, making their way to a spaceport to get off planet, while he goes the other acting as a diversion for the teenagers to escape.
It's a good plan, Obi-Wan agrees. He's skilled enough to get the Duchess to safety, and his Master is skilled enough to not die.
Unfortunately, no plan survives first contact with the enemy.
When the assassins strike, Obi-Wan goes one way, thinking Satine is on his heels. Qui-Gon goes the other, sure that Satine is with Obi-Wan.
And when the dust clears...Obi-Wan is alone, and Qui-Gon has a spooked politician hiding behind him.
Luckily, Obi-Wan isn't unused to surviving on his own. As he runs, leading the assassins aware from his Master and Satine, he sheds the robes and tunics that mark his as a jedi, replacing them with stolen and looted armor, and his saber gets hidden at the base of his back, replaced with a stolen blaster.
All he has to do is hold out until his Master returns. Easy.
Except there are other people on Mandalore. People who aren't willing to look the other way as a teenager (thin and scrawny, even under his stolen armor) flees from Death Watch assassins.
Obi-Wan comes face to face with Kal Skirata after the older man saves him from being murdered by a Deatg Watch soldier (he zigged when he should have zagged, Obi-Wan won't make that mistake again).
Obi-Wan gives his name as Ben and claims that he has no clan. It's the wrong thing to say, as he's promptly adopted on the spot by Clan Skirata.
And then the situation becomes more complicated as Kal'buir introduces him to a heavily injured older woman. He introduces her as Arla Fett, the true Mand'alor of Mandalore, now that her brother is dead.
And as much as Obi-Wan wants to ask about Satine and the New Mandalorians, he holds his tongue. He can learn more by staying quiet after all.
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popculturestew · 2 months
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Oh, I really hate (and love at the same time) the moment Qui-Gon died. I liked the guy at first, but now-
Obi-Wan watched him die and felt helpless. Out of rage and grief he killed the Sith, alone. And the Master's last words to his Padawan were not "I'm proud of you" or "I love you", but a request to train Anakin, the boy for whom Qui-Gon was willing to give up Obi-Wan and didn't even hide it. For the love of the Force, he literally talked about it in front of the Council, with Obi-Wan right next to him.
And even when Qui-Gon touches his Padawan's face, he continues to speak only of Anakin.
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cloudmancy · 4 months
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obi wan as a depressed 25 year old adoptive single father to a traumatized nine year old is my favorite thing in the world. the worst idea in the galaxy. was never going to end well. hes not the stepdad hes just the dad who stepped up. he’s even gay. wow.
IT'S THE FUNNIEST THING IN THE WORLDDD I'M OBSESSED WITH HIM 😭😭😭 imagine you're a council member and this 25 yr old rocks up 3 hours after he's been knighted and goes 'hey I heard you're thinking about sending anakin skywalker back to tattooine. don't do that. you owe me one I watched my master die in front of my eyes AND killed the first sith in a century. so if you don't let me train him I'm going to kill myself and then I'm going to leave the order and train him anyway. do you want that? do you want your great grandpadawan to kill himself?' and yoda's like 'what the fuck' and qui-gon's force ghost is like 'he makes a good point. do you want your great grandpadawan to kill himself?' and mace windu's like 'yoda I think we have to let him these shatterpoints in the force say he's gonna do something drastic if we don't 🤒' and kit fisto is like 👽. and THAT'S how obi wan becomes the world's most fucked up 25 yr old single mother of a 9 yr old with undiagnosed bpd
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