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scapegrace74-blog · 3 years

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New Ways of Turning into Stone, Chapter 3

A/N As promised, Jamie returns in this chapter. He has an appointment to keep, after all. Because I can’t think of anything more creative, this chapter is entitled “Second Appointment”. For previous chapters, your best bet is to check out the story on my AO3 page.

The week both crept and flew past, like one of those dreams in which she ran until her lungs burned, but never managed to get anywhere. Kinetic motion trapped in amber. Claire never did tell Geillis about her excursion to Corstorphine Hill over the weekend, embarrassed by how it had ended.

And now it was Thursday. She’d opted for a protein smoothie for lunch, a meal with no chance of leaving leafy residue between her teeth. It was likely wasted vanity. As two o’clock drew near, she bargained with herself to abandon any hope she may be harbouring. Jamie Fraser had shown no interest in participating in the psychiatric process during his first appointment. Fraternal obligation had brought him to her office once, but he didn’t strike her as a man who yielded the reins of his life easily. It wasn’t likely he would return.

When it came his distinctive knock, crisp and insistent, caught her unawares, even though she’d just been staring at his name in her planner. She hastily pushed the items on her desk to one side, patted uselessly at her curls, and called out for him to enter.

“Good afternoon, Doctor Beauchamp,” he greeted cautiously. “Miss Duncan told me tae come straight in.”

There was something different about him today. His clothing, certainly. Instead of casual wear, he wore trousers and a button down, wet splotches over the shoulders attesting to the fact that it had begun raining again. And while he still took up an inordinate amount of space in her small office, he seemed... diminished, somehow. A paler echo of the fireworks display of his first visit.

“Of course. Please have a seat, Mister Fraser.”

“Jamie, if you will,” he corrected as he settled gingerly into the armchair. “Mister Fraser was my Da.”

Something about his tone and the fact his laser blue eyes wouldn’t meet her own as he spoke the words caused her to lean into his statement.

“Did your father pass away recently, Jamie?”

A moment, an indrawn breath of panic, and then it was cleverly masked with a wry glance.

“Aye, last year. An’ yer no’ very subtle, doctor.”

“I didn’t realize subtlety was called for,” she parried. “You made another appointment, and I specialize in grief counselling. Why else would you be here?”

Despite the fact that it wasn’t productive from a psychiatric point of view, she enjoyed his reluctance to hastily expose his inner demons. Too often, her practice required her to work carefully in order to avoid shaping the pliable emotions of her patients. While obviously hurting, Jamie had an unflinching, unalterable quality that she admired. Not to mention that the intellectual game of cat and mouse they were playing was wildly stimulating.

“I suppose I enjoyed our conversation,” Jamie teased. “An’ Miss Duncan’s shortbread.”

With an awkward squint that she imagined was meant to be a wink, her patient rose to investigate the current offerings on her tea table.

“Och, petit fours!” he exclaimed with childlike glee and perfect French pronunciation. “There was a café none too far from my flat in Paris tha’ made these. I’d often grab some on my way tae the office.”

He returned to the desk with a small plate of the pastries, pushing it towards her as he settled into his seat.

“No, thank you. I’ve just eaten.”

Like a searchlight, his bright eyes didn’t miss much. He glanced significantly at the half-empty plastic smoothie container to one side of her desk. Rather than chide her for her austerity, as Geillis frequently did, he instead made a show of biting into each of the four little squares until there was nothing left but crumbs. Her stomach muttered in complaint.

“What did you do in Paris?” she asked as he finished his snack with a contented sigh.

“Oh, a wee bit of this and that,” he demurred. In response to her exasperated look, he continued, “I started out at the Bourse. Futures, options, arbitrage, that sort of thing. I have a good ear fer languages, sae from there I went into foreign exchange. Import export, and the like.”

“You’re a financier?” she asked, somewhat more incredulous than she ought to be. She wasn’t certain what she had pictured James Fraser doing for a living, but greasing the wheels of capitalism definitely wasn’t it.

“Was,” he corrected. “I quit an’ came home tae Scotland last year.”

“When your father died,” she guessed.

“Aye.”

She once again had the sense of standing in front of a locked door that Jamie had no intention of opening. Rather than hammer uselessly on its stubborn surface, she nimbly diverted the conversation sideways.

“What do you do for work now?”

A slow blink followed by a dawning smile indicated he was aware of her stratagem.

“I’m a carpenter.”

It was rare for Claire to be truly surprised by people. She made a living reading their unspoken cues. Twice in the same conversation was unheard of.

“A carpenter?” she repeated as though she hadn’t heard him perfectly well the first time.

“Aye. Like Jesus, ye ken?”

With a quicksilver grin, Jamie launched into a description of his current occupation, which involved the making of reproduction antiques and custom pieces for clients around Scotland. She realized with a start that she’d read an article about his business in a popular local magazine.

International financier. Self-made entrepreneur. Tall drink of water. James Fraser had a lot of things going for him. And yet here he sat, paying her by the hour to listen to him avoid talking about whatever hardship had befallen him.

She mentally composed a list of the topics he was deftly avoiding with his charming anecdotes. His father’s recent death. The reason behind a radical change in career. Living in the city on account of unspoken ‘family obligations’, even though his verbal reminiscence of the Highlands was so poetic it damn near made her cry. There was something raw just below the surface of his nonchalance, and her innate curiosity cried out to find out what it was.

“You told me last week that your sister, Jenny, insisted you attend counselling. But you said that you’re handling matters fine on your own. Can you tell me why your sister believes otherwise?”

It might have been amusing to see such a large man squirm in different circumstances. His left hand furrowed through his hair, setting the autumn waves on end. His mouth, so recently relaxed and mobile as he eagerly shared the details of his craft, froze in a pained frown. She considered whether she had pushed too hard too soon.

“I gave a lot of thought tae what ye said when we parted last week,” Jamie began at last. “Tae be honest, it haunted me. Jen kens me better than anyone, an’ while I like tae complain tha’ she meddles where she doesna belong, the truth is she’s truly scared fer me. An’ even if I dinna agree tha’ my lifestyle is cause fer concern, I owe it tae her tae try tae sort myself out. I owe her far more than that,” he finished with a rueful shake of his head.

“What kind of lifestyle has your sister so worried?” she probed.

“Whisky, women and song,” he quipped, before adding, “Weel, I canna carry a tune, but twa out of three isna half bad.”

He tried to smile away the awkward tension that descended on the office, the air ripe with unspoken words. Claire felt disappointment whirlpool in her gut. Just another charming rake, after all. It really shouldn’t matter, and yet somehow it did. More than she dared to admit.

“Yes, well, the road of excess leads to the palace of consequences, ” she sniffed at last, angry at herself for sounding like a schoolmarm. What a bore she must seem to him, with her regimented behaviour and rigid morals.

Jamie rose abruptly, and for a half-second she imagined he might lunge at her, or storm from the room. Instead, he spun around to face the door. Without a word, he untucked his shirt and began to expose his lower back.

Claire was momentarily stunned silent. Just as she managed to draw a deep enough breath to censure Jamie for his highly inappropriate strip tease, the golden velour of his lower back transformed without warning into a furrowed landscape of scar tissue, ripples and craters left by some massive trauma. The air left her lungs on a questioning sigh.

“I ken all about consequences, Doctor Beauchamp,” he stated. “I live with them every moment of my life.”

Her fingers found the knotted skin, surprisingly warm and mobile beneath her touch. A shiver shimmered over the unmarred muscle of his flanks.

Before she could find any appropriate words of apology, the office door opened and Geillis stuck her head in. She barked a cough upon seeing Jamie’s state of undress and Claire’s position, leaning across her desk. Doctor and patient jumped apart like opposing magnets.

“Sae sorry for the interruption, but yer three o’clock is here. Should I tell her ye’ve been... delayed?”

Jamie muttered an obscenity under his breath which Claire whole-heartedly seconded. There was no way Geillis wasn’t going to be utterly insufferable about this.

“Mister Fraser was just leaving, Geillis.”

With a lewd wink and a nod, the door closed.

“Look, Jamie...” she began just as he apologized. “I’m sae sorry, lass.”

They both laughed nervously. Jamie finished tucking his shirt into his pants and turned to face the desk.

“I hope this willna cause ye any difficulties with Miss Duncan,” he began, eyes wide with concern.

“No more so than usual,” she sighed. “Geillis is a good friend. She just... doesn’t know when to quit, sometimes,” she explained.

“Sounds jus’ like my sister. Perhaps we should introduce them.”

She smiled, struggling to find something else to say to move past the moment. She could hear Geillis and her next patient conversing just outside the door. There was no time left for subtlety.

“Will I see you again next week, Jamie?” she asked, giving up on finding a more oblique way of phrasing the question that was reverberating through her mind.

Jamie’s bashful smile dipped towards the floor, causing his hair to fall in front of his eyes.

“Aye. I’ll even keep my clothes on, if ye ask nicely.”

It was that smile, that hair, those eyes, that carried her through the rest of her week, aloft on the anticipation of something utterly forbidden.

#my writing #outlander

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snuggetfish · 4 years

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Majidad family headcanons..? 🥺👉👈

Say no more 💖 This is LONG so I've put it under the cut!

First off, how many children would Majima want? Frankly, the man’s so happy to be given the chance at fatherhood in the first place that even just one would send him over the moon... but he wouldn’t say no to more. He’s paid enough visits to Kiryu to feel that twinge in his heart, hearing the echo of so many cheery voices around the orphanage.

So, if it at all possible, he’d love to see his dream about having his own little cuddle puddle of kids become a reality. He’ll maybe slightly underestimate how difficult it’d be to take care of them all, but he’s Majima Goro, moulded by fate to be one tenacious bastard. He’ll pull through, somehow, with the help of a loving partner willing to go the distance with him. However, if he did only have one kid, you can bet they’d be spoiled absolutely rotten. You might think that the roles of good cop/bad cop would be obvious in a crazy yakuza dad+presumably civilian spouse couple, but think again, because Majima is a complete pushover when faced with cute puppy eyes.

Extra serving of ice cream after dinner? He'll pile gigantic scoops into his bowl and then give up not even halfway through, sliding it towards his child. He can't really wink, but they get the picture. “Who in ever is gonna finish this for me?” Five minutes more at the park? Sure thing, they can have the whole hour and maybe Kiryu-chan might show up in the meantime too so they can... schedule their next fight. No throwing down in front of the kid! I think also once Majima becomes a dad, his priorities shift. Slightly, but noticeably. He still upholds his vicious reputation, but he isn't living at the edge any more, fighting through each day like it's his last, defusing bombs with little regard for safety. If surviving up until now was luck more than anything, with a child in his life, he's going to make damn sure it becomes a certainty. He's got something so very precious to stay alive for.

When they're still very young, Majima would be a great help in comforting them during the night. He typically gets back at late hours anyway and relishes the chance to spend a bit of time with his child, instead of immediately collapsing into a restless sleep like he always used to. If they're awake or crying he'll comfort them as best as he can, even with his whispered voice now hoarser than he remembers it and no knowledge of lullabies... but hey, pop songs will do too. 24h Cinderella anyone? Though if they're sound asleep, he'll stick to just holding their tiny hand for a while, feel it clasp gently around his fingers...

First things first, the gloves come off, always. "Skinship" is a Japanese word put together from English that I think is great for describing the kind of parent-child intimacy he'd want. On mornings where can afford to sleep in, it wouldn't be uncommon for his spouse to find him on the couch, dozing on and off with the baby nestled on his chest. He's afraid of falling fully asleep and missing the tenderness of the moment, plus his nightmares are not something he'd ever want his child to know... So he'll stay like that, stroking their back and peeking through a lidded eye at his partner who's busy making breakfast. Also on this topic, an idea that occurred to me recently: you know how Majima's tattoo has one of the snakes' heads on the left side of his chest? Well... call him superstitious, but he'd only hold the baby on the right side. Can't have it threatening his sweet pea. 🥺️

What about once they get older? Well probably Majima would start waking up with unexpected “extensions” made this his tattoo, in black marker. Possibly some scribbles on his eye patch as well, which he’ll still proudly wear to work. And if you know what’s good for you, you really don’t want to be the one making fun of a Mad Dog that’s sporting a little heart doodle on his face. Kisses? Yes, absolutely. As we learn from Dead Souls, Majima would not shy away from smooching his child. A “good night” kiss, a “good morning” kiss, a “have a nice day” kiss when they’re off to school. One day the kid complains that his beard’s too scratchy and Majima doesn’t even think twice before he goes back to being clean-shaven.

I think at some point they would also have to be introduced to the domain they're going to be ruling (though only as children!): the Majima Family. Nishida would be promoted to “designated driver", for a kid all too eager to ride on someone's shoulders while daddy's away in a meeting and the Kamurocho Hills construction site would be getting a new foreman. Their duties would include drawing on the blueprints and shouting words of "encouragement" at the men through dad's loudspeaker, whenever he needs a break. Bet Majima even gets them a little hard hat and everything, custom-made! Ok so it also doesn't take long for them to figure out a fun game to play with the new family members, a hazing ritual basically: show up on the day of their first office duty and annoy the hell out of them. Men were nervous to begin with, but now they're confused and pissed, like who the hell is this brat and who let them in? Kid plays the silent card: doesn't say a word about their name or their dad's, just keeps running around and getting in their business.

After chasing a lightning-fast kid all around the whole office, Majima comes in and they think they're saved. Surely the boss has 0 tolerance for little intruders.... Though, of course, the intruder immediately runs to daddy and it slowly... very slowly dawns on them. Kid’s grinning from behind a leather-clad leg and the poor newbies have gone white in the face mentally counting how many fingers they're gonna have to give up. But it’s all fun and games... mostly. Of course a Majima descendant would inherit his mischievous nature.

But hey at some point, uncle Saejima comes back. Though Majima’s maybe a little reluctant at first, eventually he can’t but see the value of his kid training with his kyodai in the dojo. For self-defense, but also to develop their athleticism. Saejima’s of course happy to spend time with his niece or nephew, though... you know how in Y4 one of dojo's mechanics is that the students can just skip your lessons if they're not feeling motivated enough? Majima’s munchkin would absolutely do that. Slide underneath the big tiger’s legs and make a run for it!

I think Majima would find it terribly endearing if the child at some point started dropping Kansai words here and there. And that’s in spite of Saejima chiding him that his own accent is fake and that the kid probably picked it up from the “real source”, a.k.a Saejima himself. Heh, dad and uncle might bicker sometimes, but they both make it clear just how much they love the little one.

Now, raising a child as a high-profile yakuza is obviously not going to be all rainbows and sunshine... I think Majima would love nothing more than to indulge in the cozy fantasy of being an ideal father, spending all his waking moments playing with his kid, putting his energy and creativity to good use, just generally making sure his son or daughter get the best childhood he's never had... but it's a fantasy for a reason, because he's grounded enough in reality to know that it's not going to work out as idyllically as that.

He's fulfilled his and Saejima's dream of climbing the yakuza ranks, although it's come at the cost of being a notorious figure, with scars both external and internal. How is he going to protect his family? How much time is he really going to be able to dedicate to his kids? How is he going to keep them from walking the same dark path he has? Not a day passes where he doesn’t ask himself all those questions... doubly so on nights where he comes home to find that they’ve wiggled in his bed as well, cozy and safe in his partner’s arms. And it hits him that they’ve already grown up so much and he fears he’s missed out on so much, on making a positive impact in their life...

Ultimately, I don’t believe Majima would want his kids to grow up involved in the yakuza. Yet at the same time he can’t entirely hide his career. Maybe that’s a good thing because it teaches him that it's never as black and white as "if I leave, they'll be safe; if I stay, they'll die". One can raise a child to be strong and, above all, make their own decisions and carve their own path, even as a dad who's for all intents and purposes a criminal. The yakuza are, after all, a fact of everyday living, hidden in plain sight, given how pervasive they are in business and politics. A kid that's seen the flip side of the coin (within reason, because you bet Majima would still be fiercely protective of them) would surely be well equipped for life. It’s what he hopes, at least. If I thought the last ask was long...oh boy. I’d like to deeply thank all my friends off whom I’ve been bouncing these privately ideas for months now!! 💙💙💙 I didn’t think there’d be much interest in Majidad headcanons, but I’m happy to have been proven wrong!

#majima goro #goro majima #dad majima #yakuza headcanons #HEY LISTEN #just last night I hurt myself deeply by modding Majima and the little girl from Dead Souls as Kiryu and Haruka in Kiwami...#screenshots are on my twitter but I might also post them here!#anon asks #answered

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fleursowl · 4 years

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illicit affairs

This is for @lumosinlove after I yelled in her asks that illicit affairs is such a perfect song for Sirius and Remus in her sweater weather fic, so I obviously had to write it myself and make myself cry over it (heartbreaking song!!

‘Make sure nobody sees you leave’

Remus whispered to Sirius, his knuckles brushing over Sirius’ cheekbone. Sirius nodded with a sad smile, turning his head to brush his lips against Remus’ hand. Remus let out a soft sigh, his eyes refusing to leave Sirius’, just drinking him in.

“Gotta go now, Loops,” Sirius whispered, hating that he had to break the moment they had created. Remus hummed sadly, leaning forward and pressing his lips softly against Sirius’, like he was afraid that if he went any harder he’d get caught up in the feel of Sirius and not let him go home.

“I’ll miss you,” he mumbled, ducking his head but smiling softly as Sirius reached up to press a kiss to his forehead.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, oui? At mine?” Sirius asked softly, like he was afraid Remus was going to say no. As if.

“See you soon, Cap.” he murmured, cupping Sirius’ cheek for a moment before stepping back and letting him leave.

Sirius gave him a last sad smile, longing look, and turned to go.

Hood over your head, keep your eyes down

Sirius reminded himself, tilting his cap down over his eyes and pulling his hoodie over it for good measure as he clambered to his car parked in the shadows. As he swung his legs onto the driver’ seat he thought about how he’d much rather be swinging them over Remus’ lap instead, grinning down at the blushing boy circling his waist in his arms and drawing him closer.

Tell your friends you're out for a run

You’ll be flushed when you return

“Remus, Remus, I really gotta-” Sirius cut himself off with a high whine, writhing underneath the boy looming over him on the bed, arms bracketing Sirius’ head and lips attached ferociously to his neck.

“Merde merde merde, oh- mon dieu, do that thing with your lips again or I’ll end you.” Sirius gasped out, whining again when Remus pulled away to smirk down at him, his thumb trailing proudly over the marks he’d made up and down Sirius’ neck and around his collarbone.

“Thought you really had to go? Potts will be waiting for you, hm?” he said smugly, letting out a small snort of laughter as Sirius groaned, reaching up to flick Remus’ cheek.

“I absolutely despise you, Re. Getting me all riled up before I have to go and sit down and have dinner with James and Lily and his parents, for mercy’s sake-” the breath was knocked out of Sirius’ chest when Remus collapsed onto him, groaning and curling his arms around Sirius’ neck.

“Then don’t go. Stay with me,” he mumbled into Sirius’ neck.

“Was that your plan all along, hm?” Sirius snorted, suddenly overwhelmed with a wave of affection for his boyfriend. His boyfriend.

“You know I’d get out of it if I could, but I owe Pott’s parents a lot, and-” yet again Sirius found him interrupted- could he even finish a sentence around here anymore? Jeez- by Remus’ lips pressing quickly against him to shut him up.

“Yeah yeah, I know. Was just joking, don’t worry. You’ll be back soon?” he said hopefully. Sirius huffed a laugh, burying his face in Remus, neck.

“Course I will, Loops. Nowhere I’d rather be, you know that.”

And when James made very loud remarks about Sirius’ lateness, flushed cheeks and bruised neck, he found he was too happy to care how poor his ‘I went for a run and tripped’ excuse was.

Take the road less travelled by

Tell yourself you can always stop

Remus sighed in happiness as Sirius kissed his hand that he was already holding as he kept his eyes on the road- and Remus was perfectly content to just stare at him.

“‘M glad we’re doing this, Re,” Sirius said, glancing over for a quick second to smile at Remus and then settling his hand on Remus’ thigh. Remus titled his head back in the seat, a broad content smile on his lips. If only he could live in this moment forever.

“Me too, Sirius.”

What started in beautiful rooms

Ends with meetings in parking lots

Sirius thinks about the start, the glancing at each other from across press conference rooms and the locker room but always missing the others’ gaze, as he drives through the night to meet Remus in an abandoned parking lot. They’d nearly been caught last time- and Remus was determined to not let it happen again. Sirius wasn’t entirely sure how to feel about that.

He eventually pulled into a space, sitting in the cold waiting for Remus and watching the way his breath curled in the cool winter air.

And that's the thing about illicit affairs

And clandestine meetings and longing stares

Remus let out a relieved breath when he finally arrived on foot at the parking lot as he saw Sirius’ car in the shadows, looking around before quickly jogging up to the car and knocking on the window. Sirius jumped and turned to Remus so quickly that Remus had to take a step back, but Sirius still scrambled over to yank open the car door, tugging Remus up and into the seat.

“Hey. Re. You made it.” he said softly, his hands cupping Remus’ cheeks. Remus hummed in response, and the two simply stared at each other for a while, taking in every small detail and feature in case it was a while before they got to see it up so close and they had to memorise it by heart.

It's born from just one single glance

But it dies and it dies and it dies

A million little times

Remus can’t stop thinking about the start, the start the start the start. He thinks about the start when he James and Sirius are all in an elevator together and Sirius won’t even meet his gaze, staring resolutely and steadily at James chattering on instead. He thinks about the start when Sirius flinches when Remus brushes his fingers across Sirius’ arm on the way to his seat on the plane, crumpling down next to the window and trying to pretend that he isn’t crumbling inside.

And that's the thing about illicit affairs

And clandestine meetings and stolen stares

“You asked for this! You signed up for this, Remus! You knew what you were getting yourself into!” Sirius says frustratedly. It’s their third fight this week on the same topic.

“That’s not-”

Sirius cuts him off. “I told you, I told you at the start that we wouldn’t bee able to tell anyone, no one, that we would have to be so careful, and you agreed anyway! You can’t go taking it back now that we’ve… now that I’ve… it’s not fair, Remus!” Sirius shouts, pushing Remus’ chest a little and just feeling even more irritated when it doesn’t budge Remus one iota.

“Yes, I signed up for that, but I didn’t sign up for you not even looking at me anymore, jumping away whenever I touch you- requesting a different physio? Really, Sirius?” Remus says harshly, scathingly, his arms folded over his chest as he glares at the boy in front of him- man in front of him.

They show their truth one single time

But they lie and they lie and they lie

A million little times

“I’m just- we just have to be-” Sirius stuttered, shocked by Remus’ confession of truth.

“We have to be what? Careful?” Remus snorted ironically, rolling his eyes. “You’re just using this as an excuse to not be near me or around me, and I don’t know why, but-”

And you wanna scream

Don't call me "kid," don't call me "baby"

Remus was stopped short by angry lips pressed to his, finding himself shoved back against the counter with Sirius’ body pressing against him.

“Remus John Lupin. Don’t ever doubt that I want you. That I want to be around you. I want to be around you, want you so much, that it feels too much sometimes. And I have to physically stop myself from just pulling you on top of me in the middle of the locker rooms in front of the whole team and all the press, okay? It scares me. So don’t tell me what I do and don’t want, Remus, I’m not a kid.” Sirius scowled.

Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me

You showed me colours you know I can't see with anyone else

Sirius let out a short burst of laughter, curling his hand around the back of Sirius’ neck.

“You’re such a fucking mess, Sirius Black,” he whispered, grinning at Sirius’ wounded pout.

“But so am I, remember? So now we match,” he said, finally meeting their lips again, revelling in the colours that exploded behind his closed eyelids as their lips moved against each other slowly again.

Don't call me "kid," don't call me "baby"

Look at this idiotic fool that you made me

They stayed in their moment of quiet bliss for a while, but eventually Sirius pulled back for breath, looking up at Remus with a gaze that took Remus’ breath away.

“You’re idiotic with words sometimes, you know that?” he smirked, kissing Remus again before he could protest.

You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else

Remus kissed him back happily, able to tell by Sirius’ own special language that the argument was over. They’d figure out the logistics of how to move forwards after, after after he’d just kissed Sirius some more.

And you know damn well

For you, I would ruin myself

A million little times

“I’d do anything for you,” Sirius whispered into the crook of Remus’ neck as they slow danced around Remus’ tiny kitchen to music only they could hear.

“Same for me. Goes without saying, Captain.” Remus replied softly, if a little teasingly.

Sirius smiled.

#sirius black #wolfstar #remus lupin #wolfstar fic #wolfstar ficlet #wolfstar song #illicit affairs #sweater weather #song fic #wolfstar song fic #sirius black fic #remus lupin fic #sirius black ficlet #remus lupin ficlet #sirius black song fic #remus lupin song fic

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amindofstone · 3 years

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Match up, No. 9

@starlightbydaybright hat gefragt:

Hello! Saw you were taking match-ups and I was wondering if I could request one. Only done one before for another fandom, and I was wondering who I’d align with for One Piece ^^

I'm an INFP and generally an introvert, finding it difficult to express myself when I'm around people I'm unfamiliar with or just not close to. I can be both quiet and shy; quiet when I have no interest in making good impression on that person (a stranger I'll see once and never again) and shy when I'm genuinely trying to make myself acceptable to them. But, I do trust easily, so it's not hard to get close enough with me that I'll open up about almost everything, so long as they understand have my boundaries (that'll shift depending on how close). I'm also very affectionate with people I'm close with, particularly through physical touch, since I've been pretty touch starved. If you're close friends with me, you can find me constantly looking for a hug, but I can respect boundaries since not everyone enjoys contact.

The situation would be a bit different romance wise, since I’d revert a bit back to my introverted side, but also very affection-seeking at the same time. I say affection seeking as in I’d crave time and activities spent together with them, but I’d be afraid to ask/initiate, at least during the early beginnings of the relationship. I’d be constantly seeking affirmation of their love, and since I’ve never been in a relationship before (but desperately wanted one), they’d be constantly receiving my love too ❤️

While being an introvert in reality, I find it much easier to speak with confidence online. as I actually have time to contemplate what I can say. It's when I'm either with close friends or on the internet, that I can go on passionate endless rants or show my passive aggressive side. I'm usually pacifist, but if something irks me enough, I can and will pitch in snide/sarcastic remark or two, or if it's more serious; I will write out whole sophisticated and well worded paragraph that'd sound all polite with a hidden snarky tone.

I'm pretty much a hopeless romantic, so there's lot of couple things I want to try when I find someone. Back hugs, bridal carry, tickle fights, you name it. While I do enjoy these displays of affection (comes with the happy kind of embarrassment aka. I feel embarrassed that others sees it but I’m happy because I know they’re not doing it out of maliciousness and because they truly love me), small gestures are appreciated too; a gentle squeeze of the hand, a passing smile, etc.

As for hobbies, I enjoy reading, writing, (occasionally) drawing, but most of all; probably singing. I enjoy a wide variety of songs, depending on what mood I'm in, but I particularly like songs about love. Looking for someone to sing the duet love songs with me, doesn't matter how good or bad they are at singing. They can be tone deaf for all I care, it's the thought that matters 😊

I'm very emotionally sensitive, and can both laugh and cry easily. A random stranger online wished me good day? I'll be in good mood for awhile. Watched a 'mildly' sad movie? (Extra emphasis on mildly) I better have new box of tissue on the side just in case. It'd be nice to have someone that can either comfort me or at least tolerate my emotions, so I wouldn't be irking them 😞

I don't really have a type when looking for significant other but being an INFP does make the romance thing complicated. It'd be nice to have someone that's far along on the extroverted side (just not happy go lucky and can be serious) since, despite being introverted, I like to experience new things. I'm just too afraid to try alone and prefer it if someone else recommends it first. Someone to prompt me and nudge me to do something, but won’t take it too far if I really looked uncomfortable. (I’m also a procrastinator so they gotta find out the right ratio between pushing vs. taking it too far 😅) In relationship, I'd value trust and loyalty the most, since both are important in keeping the healthy relationship. If both sides could equally trust and be trusted, then there wouldn't be place for insecurity or fear. This ties in with another part of me being an INFP; I want a relationship that lasts forever. While it's weird to decide how long lasting the love will be early in the relationship, I don't think I can fully commit myself to someone, knowing that it'll end (through the other side falling out of love with me, finding interest in someone else, etc.) (natural causes like death are fine, even though I will still be sad 🥲)

As for appearance, I’m a 5”4 female with slightly wavy black hair that reach nearly to my waist. I don’t think I’m particularly short, but then again, every anime character seems to be straight up giants XD (Man, I was born with the wrong genes) I’m overall very plain, with black hair, brown eyes, but I’ve always been told I had pretty long eyelashes and big bright eyes. Average weight for my height, and flat chested :’)

As for the preference for gender, I’m mainly attracted to guys. I had some (very few) crushes on a small selection of female anime characters, but that were very rare, like 3, compared to my (insert large number) male crushes

Thank you in advance and sorry for how long this is 😔

P.s. I feel like I need to emphasize I’m still an introvert, since the personality I described is only limited to my very small friend group

a/n:

Hey there? How are you doing? Thank you so much for requesting. First off I should be apologizing for making you wait so long. I hope you´re not mad at me but lately there is a lot happening in my life. In my private life but also in my college life. But let´s put that aside and get to your request.

I have to thank you for the detailed info about you because that helped me to choose a match up for you so much. Like I instantly could think of someone. Not only did it help me to match you up with someone but also to come up with a plot. So I came up with this little imagine/hedcanon… I really don´t know what to call my work for the imaginies so I go with work. XD Anyways I really don´t know what to do at this point. Your request and your personality gave me such a good idea for a plot that I tried my best to keep it short because I decided to turn this request and my ideas and thoughts that are flying around in my mind to an actual FANFICTION! AHHHHHHHH. I can´t stop thinking about it. The idea sounds so damn good in my head that it makes me smile like an idiot right now! Uff I can´t wait to find time writing it down. AHAHH, but I fear that I already gave aways so much with this!!!! *pouts Doesn´t matter I´ll do it anyways. AHHHHHHHHHHH Thank you so damn much for requesting!

Anyways! Back to my work now. If there is anything that bothers you or you simply hate please make sure to tell me so I can change it and give you whatever you´d like. Other than that happy reading my dear!

Match up rules can be found HERE.

Warning(s): Maybe grammatical or spelling mistakes since English is my third language and I´m still improving in every aspect (Please have mercy on that.)

!!! Please do not steal my idea or work. Credit me if this is shared or published in any other platform or any other way. Please respect me as the writer and my work. Picture is not mine. Credits to: I sadly don't know. Please tell me of you know so I can give credits. Thank you in advance. !!!

· I decided to pair you up with KILLER

· Like am I the only person that thinks that he is not getting the screen time and appreciation he deserves? Because that is the damn case! ODA GIVE THIS MAN THE LOVE AND APPRECIATION HE DESERVES. And while we´re at it I wouldn´t mind if I would get a bit more of Eustass Kid too… Thank you in advance. <3

· But that’s not the point. Please dear requesting beautiful human being give this man and me, your hopelessly dreamy author a chance. Thank you, I really appreciate. <3

· aNyWaYssssS.

· “y/n? Are you still awake?”, asked the blond man softly. “No worries I won´t make you carry me to bed again.”, you said with a giggle. You couldn´t see his face but you knew that he was smiling. “I don´t mind that you know? I like having you close to me without having to fear to see you hid under the blanket for who knows how long.”, you rolled you eyes and hit his arms. “That only happened because that idiot captain of yours annoyed the hell out of me. That was embarrassing Killer.”, you slowly put one leg over the railing and then the next one. Making sure you don´t fall down the ship. “What happened? Didn´t you drag me out our cabin to watch the stars?”, asked the muscular man who held you close to him while making sure you didn´t fell. “I did but now I´d like to look at something different. Something even more beautiful. Something that gives me warmth and happiness. Something that keeps me alive and always makes sure I am doing fine.”, talking to the blond pirate while sitting at the railing was one of the rare moments you were close to an eye level with him. “You mean my mask?”, asked the man with a tiled head that got you to roll your eyes and hit his chest. “Great you destroyed the sweet moment. I hate you. Make a step back so I can get down. I want to go back to bed and drown in regret of dating you.”, you tried to push him away but he was obviously stronger and threw you over his shoulder. “Of course you hate me. That was also the exact same thing you were moaning a while ago. Let´s go back to bed nerd.”

· As sweet and loving your relationship was now with the pirate it also started like that. Wanna know how? Alright let me get comfortable in my bed and get started. Story TIIMMMEEEE!!!

· An island well known for their universities and scientist. An island full of top ranked doctors.

· Physics, chemistry, biology, astrology was well thaught in the schools of the island. An island well known around the world. An island ruled by a powerful devil fruit user.

· An island in which every civilian had a talent in another field. And you? You sadly had an impressive talent for languages.

· Why sadly you wonder? Well the amount of times you had to run for your dear life because some pirates could come and kidnap you and make you read the poneglyphs is immense.

· Once even the infamous Red haired Shanks came and asked you with the hope to have someone who could read them. But sadly you couldn´t. You told him that you were done with pirates coming for you or your best friends. You regretted learning all of that and hated yourself for that. Shanks and Beckman to whom your were talking to really felt bad for you and claimed the island as their territory after they had a chat with ruler and made a deal.

· That was that saved you and your friends for years and made you happy. You were thankful to the red hair pirates and always treated them with meals and drinks when they came visiting the island. You were happy for 5 years. 5 years until these stupid reckless pirates came.

· And now? Now you hated yourself all over again

· You knew that not every pirate was like the red hair pirates. Nice and respectful. They didn´t kill innocent people and destroyed civilizations only to get some gold and diamonds. But these? These were horrible. Cold and cruel.

· “Someone make this btch talk otherwise I´ll do it by cutting her into pieces only stropping when IT actually starts to answer my god damn questions!”, screamed a tall and guy with red hair.

· You were scared. Tied on a mast on their ship, you feared for your life. Screaming for help was not an option since you were already on the sea since a while now.

· The man that was yelling at you none stop was now holding a blond man with a mask at his collar and growling at him. The man might have a mask on but you somehow had the feeling that he was talking to the man with the red fur coat. “Clear the deck! NOW!!”; yelled the man before he left inside the ship. Slowly every man on deck was leaving you alone. You wanted to ask them were or why the left but you knew that they wouldn´t give you an answer. You were a prisoner. A captive. A pathetic human they took on board. With the last pirate leaving you behind, a door that was located behind the mast you were tied on closed while the need to cry grew inside of you. How long am I here by now? One hour? Two or three? Was anyone missing me back at home? Were they already looking for me? Thoughts that occupied your mind were blurring your vision. You were looking right in front of you but also not. Your eyes were wide open but your vision was back at home. Home were you belonged.

· “Hey. Hey can you hear me? Hey you alright, woman? Hello?”, a man was squatting in front of you and waving with his hands in front of your face. You were deeply lost in your thoughts that you neither heard him coming nor saw him sitting right in front of you.

· But the moment he touched you tight you screamed and got back to reality. “Please don´t touch me. Please don´t hurt me. Please I beg you. Please.”, fear was written all over your face. You saw yourself death with a huge puddle of your blood. “Alright I won´t touch you. It´s just that I´ve been sitting in front of you for 5 minutes now and the only thing you did was breath and say no. Anyways here is something to drink. You´ve been her for four hours now. Half of the time unconscious and the other one either basically mute or in a trance.”, the guy in front of you was the same one who got the mad man to leave and clear the deck. It made you wonder who he was that he had such a power but you didn´t dare to ask. “Here I hold it for you and you drink.”, the glass was put on your lips and you drank. You didn´t knew how thirsty you were until your lungs were wetted by the water. Finished drinking he put a blanket over your legs since the position your were in didn´t allow you to cover yourself properly. And the fact that you were wearing a dress wasn´t helping at all.

· “Alright. You had something to drink I got you a blanket now tell me are you able to talk to me and answer my questions?”, you nodded. “Good. Now listen to me. There is this language that is called Krisanasy. As far as I know there is a tiny amount of people who are able to speak that and you are one of these. Am I right?”, you nodded. “How well are you in it?”, you gulped and looked at the man with the mask “I know the most important basics. I remember basic grammar rules and a good amount of vocabulary but I´m not that good in it. I didn´t worked with anything that included this language since years now.”, the masked man nodded and fully sat down now. “Would you be able to get back in it if you had some books and scripts to work with?”, slowly you understood where this was supposed to lead. You knew that if you said yes they would keep you as their prisoner and make your work for them. And if they had everything they would kill you because there would be no more use for you. But if you said no now and refused to talk to him he would probably also kill you. You were in a dilemma. You didn´t wanted to die but also didn´t wanted to die after you helped them. They were criminals. Feared and hated by the government and any human around the world. You looked down on your lap and let your head fall forward so your long black hair covered your face. “Hey I asked you something. Would you be able to do that?”, his voice was deep and rough but in the same time soft and gentle. That irritated you. it make you realize that him being nice to you now was just a way to get under your skin and make you do whatever they wanted. And then they simply would kill you in the most brutal and cruel way. “Hey, woman. Are you listening?”, you felt helpless. “I don´t want to die. Please let me go. Please. I beg you. Please.”, tears were streaming down you cheeks you couldn´t hold back anymore. He came closer and lifted you face. “Listen here you are a smart woman. Stop crying for fcks sake. If I would be you I would have made these pirates work for me. Use your damn brain and stop crying. Do you really think anyone in here would kill you? Heck no! They need your help. They need your brain because all of them are basically stupid. Like damn I need you to answer all of my questions before my captain with anger issues comes and beats the sht out of me. Now answer me woman. Are you able to get back in it if we got you some scripts to work on?”, you nodded while more tears streamed down you cheeks. You felt pathetic. You felt worthless and used. Helping them would turn you into a criminal too and ruin everything you worked on. Everything the emperor did for you and the island would be wasted. “See wasn’t that hard to answer.”

· The questioning went on for a while you didn´t know for how long but you knew that a long time passed since the sun stared to set. “Alright. Now I give you two options. One, stay here. Tied up on the mast no matter what kind of weather we face. Two you swear to obey me no matter what kind of order I give you and you will be able to sleep on a bed. You will get food and tomorrow you will start working on the scripts we give you. You choose.”, with your head hung lowly you said number two and instantly got released from the chains and handcuffs. He helped you stand up and covered you in the blanket before he led you into his cabin. “Wait here. Sit there and don´t do anything stupid as long as I´m not here. If you do anything stupid I won´t be able to help you. Got it?”, he didn´t even wait until you answered or gave any reaction he simply left and closed the door after him. So you waited while sitting with a lowly hung head. Minutes passed and he came back. “Your clothes are dirty. The bathroom is empty so you can take a bath or shower. Anything you want but I´ll be in the room with you. Because of one I have to make sure no one is coming in and secondly to watch over you and make sure you don´t do anything stupid. Got it. Fine. Take this towel and these clothes. We don´t have any female crewmates so you have to be wearing with my clothes until we dock on another island and you get to buy clothes.”

· The man with the mask took care of you for the rest of the day. He took you to shower and gave you fresh clothes. You had dinner with him alone in the kitchen when no one was around and got back to sleep. And no matter what you did he made sure to keep a respectful distance towards you. Whenever he had to come closer or touch you to take care of your wounds he would warn you. The day kept going like that. Nothing else was said about the following days and the thing they wanted you for. Only necessary things were said that were needed at the moment. And you only gave short replays or only answered with a head movement.

· Slowly the day passed by and the night took over with the moon putting the world alight. You were back in his cabin with him sitting on an armchair and you lying in bed sleeping with one hand tied up on the bed.

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365days365movies · 4 years

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March, 6, 2021: Wolfwalkers (2020) (Part One)

I love Cartoon Saloon so goddamn much.

Before I’d seen a single Ghibli film, I was a big fan of the Irish film studio because of their first film, The Secret of Kells. They’d also done a few TV series in the years prior (I’ve heard of Skunk Fu!, and have no interest in seeing it), and still make a few to this day, but the first time I’d heard of them was with Kells, a delightful movie that borrowed from both Irish history and folklore in their telling of the making of a famous illustrated version of the Bible, and a young boy’s friendship with a mysterious forest spirit.

And yeah, that movie is great, but I didn’t have much to go off of then. And then, 5 years later, they released their second film. And that one fucking BROKE me.

Song of the Sea is the second in what would become director Tomm Moore’s trilogy of movies based on Irish folklore, and was a bit more contemporary as compared to Kells. That one’s about a boy and his mute sister, whom he blames for the death of his mother. However, his mother is not dead, but is a selkie, a mythical Irish mermaid that becomes a seal when donning a magical coat. And it turns out that his sister is one as well!

And you think, “aww, look at the seals, they’re drawn so cute” FUCK ME IT’S BEAUTIFUL AND HEARTBREAKING. It takes a lot from Irish mythology, from giants to owl-women, and it’s a fantastic fuckin’ movie. And then, three years later...Tomm Moore’s directing partner stepped up.

See, while Moore was developing Song of the Sea, his partner from Kells, Nora Twomey, stepped in with her own solo project: The Breadwinner. We leave Ireland this time for a book adaptation based in Afghanistan in the 1990s, where a young girl is forced to pretend to be a boy in order to provide for her family (which was apparently a common practice). A LOT happens in this one, and it’s goddamn fantastic as well! It lost to Coco for Best Animated Feature at the Oscars, and...yeah, that’s fair. It’s hard to beat Coco.

But wow, a 2-D animated feature-based company! WHICH IS FANTASTIC! Seriously, in a landscape with fewer and fewer 2-D films in theaters, I’m overjoyed to see these guys hanging in there with some fantastic films! And just when I’d neared desperation for a new Cartoon Saloon feature...here comes Moore.

Ohhhhhh, let’s fucking GO! The last entry of the Irish Folklore Trilogy, today’s entry is Wolfwalkers, a film that was exclusively released to Apple TV, which I got SPECIFICALLY for this movie. It’s $5, I can afford it.

But I am absolutely pumped for this one. It’s based off of the legend of the Werewolves of Ossory, a kingdom in medieval Ireland in which there was a legendary tribe of people with the ability to turn into wolves to hunt in the forest. It’s also based upon the Irish wolf, a population of grey wolves (Canis lupus) on the island that were sadly extirpated in 1976. People, man. People.

But OK, let’s get this baby STARTED! Been wanting to watch this one since I heard about it, and I’m excited! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

Kilkenny, Ireland, in the Year of Our Lord 1650! A group of loggers are working in the gorgeous and atmospheric Irish forest, when they’re accosted by a pack of...honestly very cool looking and well-designed wolves. One of them is caught by the pack and scratched up, then they all retreat.

A large mysterious woman with big red hair and her young daughter stop the wolves from hurting the man further, and also heal up his scratches. He thanks them, and they flee with the wolf pack as the angry townsfolk chase after them.

Wolves are the enemy of the townsfolk, and those townsfolk include the newly-arrived Bill Goodfellowe (Sean Bean) and his daughter, Robyn (Honor Kneafsey), who’ve just moved from England. Bill is a hunter, and his daughter is eager to help him in his endeavors, armed with a crossbow and her falcon, Merlyn.

Bill is on the way to hunt wolves, as assigned by the Lord Protector of England. Robyn badly wants to join him, but it’s dangerous out there, and the Lord Protector forbids children beyond the walls of Kilkenny. Robyn wants out, though, as she’s an English outsider in the Irish village, and this is at a point where their relationship was at an all-time low.

Robyn, clever girl that she is, finds a way to use a group of bullies to distract the men guarding the gates, and sneaks out to the forest with Merlin. As she follows her father (currently unbeknownst to him), she hears a cry warning of a wolf. Robyn runs off to investigate.

A group of shepherds are being accosted by a pack of wolves. Robyn tries to shoot one of them, but the panicking sheep knock into her, and she fires her arrow at...Merlyn. Fuck! I already liked him! The commotion grows...until a distinctly human howl is heard from the forest, stopping the wolves in their tracks. Robyn looks over at the downed Merlyn.

The little girl takes Merlyn away, and retreats back into the woods. The wolves block Robyn’s path, and as they’re about to attack her, Bill arrives, and shoots one of them with his crossbow. The human howl is heard again, and the wolves retreat, one of them injured. Bill chides Robyn for going into the woods, and she tries to go back to get Merlyn. But Bill promised her mother that she’d keep her safe...which means that she’s almost certainly dead. Well, damn.

They leave the woods, only to be berated by the logger from the beginning, Seán Óg (Tommy Tiernan). He tells Bill off, as the increased logging under the Lord Protectorate has angered the wolves and the people who live with them, whom he refers to as “Wolfwalkers”. But Bill insists that the Lord Protectorate wants the woods cleared, and the wolves exterminated. Seán badmouths the Lord, and of course, who would show up but...

The Lord Protectorate is...oh dear FUCK, it’s Oliver Cromwell (Simon McBurney). Cromwell was a NOTORIOUS asshole for a lot of reasons, and he plays a big role in Ireland’s subjugation by England in the 1650s. I’m in no way educated enough to comment in detail on that, but like I said earlier: it’s a rough time in Irish history, and Oliver Cromwell, cruel, paranoid, but technically historically important douchebag that he was, was right at the center of it all.

Fun fact, Cromwell actually overthrew the Monarchy shortly after this, during the English Civil War, and became the ruler of the Commonwealth of England. After his 1658 death, his son took over, until he was overthrown by the return of the Monarchy, via King Charles II about 3 years later. And he was SO FUCKING PISSED at the whole affair, that they had Cromwell’s corpse dug up from Westminster Abbey (where kings and queens and Charles Darwin are buried), beheaded, and stuck on a pike on Westminster Hall! Damn.

Anyway, this Oliver Cromwell is just about to overthrow the Monarchy, and he wants Ireland under his heel. He’s commanded the woods to be cut down in order for farms to be established, and Goodfellowe is assigned to exterminate the wolves completely so that that will happen. Upon seeing Robyn, he commands the guards to take her to the scullery, where she’ll probably be trained as a scullery maid. Yay, child labor!

Seán, having just seen the girl with the wolves, tells Robyn who she is. He tells her that the Wolfwalkers can talk to wolves, and will also heal the injured with wild magic. To go back into the woods, she unlocks the cage that Seán Óg was thrown in for insulting Cromwell. His sheep are also in there, and the release of Seán and the sheep causes enough of a distraction for Robyn to flee into the woods.

Once there, she quickly finds Merlyn, who has indeed been healed by wild magic . Once there, a red wolf approaches her. Robyn readies her crossbow, but Merlyn prevents her from firing, and she gets caught in a snare as a result. During a struggle, the two clash, and the wolf bites Robyn.

She falls out of the snare, but also sees a new kind of vision, seeing the wolf as the girl from earlier in a beautifully animated type of vision. Her arm swirls with golden magic as well, emanating from the bite. Merlyn follows the wolf as they run away, and Robyn’s pursuit of the two leads her into a beautiful hidden grove, with a massive waterfall. Behind it is a cave, covered in drawings of humans and wolves. And that’s not all that’s in the cave.

At the center of the cave is the girl and her mother, sleeping and now surrounded by the wolves. The red wolf becomes yellow energy, and the energy goes into the little girl, who wakes up. Robyn is immediately found out, and the young girl approaches with the wolves at her back.

This is Mebh (pronounced “Maeve”) Óg MacTíre (Eva Whittaker), and I’ve IMMEDIATELY taken a liking to her, from her voice to her character design to her personality. Robyn doesn’t feel the same way, as the two clash. Mebh bit Robyn, but she was actually trying to get her out of the snare. The man are getting to close to the woods, which Mebh isn’t happy about, but Robyn says it’s “their” woods. Here we go.

Mebh uses her wild magic to fix the wound, before it’s too late. I get the feeling that it’s too late. Robyn tries to find out more, including who her mother is, but Mebh chases her off with her wolf pack in tow. And before I get to mention it, I just want to say that this is my favorite design for cartoon wolves. Real talk, I love this good bois. In the process of the chase, though, she’s again caught in a snare, which Mebh frees her from.

But as the two banter again, Mebh senses a “townie” like Robyn in the woods. It’s Bill, and Robyn goes to prevent the wolves from hurting her father. After a close call, Mebh points Robin back in the direction of the town, and blindfolds her to prevent truly discovering the location of the cave...this time. She guides Robyn back, but runs off when she smells food.

Robyn and Merlyn make their way back, and we overhear two shepherds from earlier talking about how one could turn into a wolf if bitten by a Wolfwalker. So, yeah, werewolf rules. Makes sense, given this story’s basis. The two shepherds also have Robyn’s crossbow and fresh bread. Mebh and Robyn work together to steal the food and crossbow, and run away together. Fast friends!

The two young girls bond, and share their struggles. Robyn wishes to go back to their simpler life in England, and wants to spend more time with her father, potentially in the woods. She warns Mebh that the forest is about to be cut down, endangering her and her pack. Mebh notes that her mother went to look for a new place for the pack to live, but hasn’t come back since. Robyn promises to tell her father about the Wolfwalkers and the struggles of the wolves. The two new friends part ways, promising to meet each other in the woods.

When she comes back home, Robyn prepares to tell her father her plan to get the wolves to leave without killing any of them. The preparation is entertaining, as she does a pretend back-and-forth with herself and her dad. Once he gets home, the reality is less great. When he finds out that Robyn never even went to the scullery, he doesn’t listen to her plan at all. He sends her to bed, and the plan is dead before it’s even proposed. Still, Robin promises Merlyn that they’ll find a way to help the wolves.

But that may be...harder than you’d think. As she sleeps, the golden magic comes back, and Robyn sees a wolf in her dreams. Pretty sure of where this is going. She wakes up with a start, and Bill hears this. He gets her up and takes her to the scullery, where she’s put to work.

Y’know, I’ve heard the term “scullery maid”, I’ve never once thought of what the term means. Apparently, it’s a kitchen or backroom in a house for housework, but where the hell is this? Is it, like, the town hall scullery? Not really clear, and it’s made more confusing when Robyn finds her way into a red-carpeted room with animal heads on the walls.

While there, her bite-mark glows, and a whisper of “giiiiiiiiirl” comes from a covered cage towards the front of the room. She approaches the cage, but is interrupted from checking it out by the head scullery maid. The Lord Protectorate has forbidden anyone from entering that room, and Imma call it now: that’s Mebh’s mom. I mean, yeah, no duh, but still. Calling it now.

That night, while asleep, the Wolfwalker’s magic officially takes hold, and Robyn wakes up as a wolf in her bedroom, while her human body sleeps. Her father hears the commotion in Robyn’s loft, and is about to literally kill her wolf-self, but she jumps out of a window and flees the city for the woods.

She quickly finds Mebh, who’s also panicking, as she thought she cured the bite. However, that panic subsides pretty quickly, as Mebh has never met another Wolfwalker before, and is excited to show Robyn how to be a wolf. And through Robyn’s eyes, we get a lovely view of the world through a wolf’s senses, backed by Aurora’s “Running with the Wolves”. And it’s...it’s lovely.

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Its also QUITE a good half-way point, so let’s put that right here! See you in Part 2!

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ivory-sunflower · 4 years

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Arty Art Things ✨

Hellooo!

I've decided to post some of the arty things I've done either recently or in the last few years, well the pieces I'm somewhat proud of at least. All my posts tend to be a lot more wordy than they need to be but hey it's what I do here!

Conchúr White

Anyone one who's been on this blog for a bit will have probably have seen me talk about this lovely Irish fella. The pencil drawing is actually a year old as of yesterday, I only know that because screenshots of me flipping out about Conchúr following me on twitter popped up in my memories yesterday. I think I'd sent it to him at about 3 in the morning (I was not in a good head space at that point in time), so probably not what he was expecting to see when he opened his phone in the morning aha

The biro version is much more recent: I got bored while sat at my desk and doing research about university courses, saw a biro, saw my old drawing of Conchúr, had an idea. I revisited my GCSE art techniques and here we are. Again, I put this up on Twitter and now (at the the time I'm writing this) when you google "Conchúr White" it's the third top image of him which is a bit mad really. I think I spent all of about 20 minutes on Conchúr but another 45 minutes on the words behind him. The words are the names of the songs on his EP 'Bikini Crops', he doesn't just really love the idea of Channing Tatum driving him around at night in a daisy print bikini... Well maybe he does but what he does in his spare time is none of my business...

TechDif

So I mentioned that the pencil drawing of Conchúr came from a rough patch in my mental health and this one is no different! In fact this one came from an even worse circumstance so we love to see it. I had a bad, bad time in July and this started as a way of distracting myself from what was going on in my head. Without it, I can't honestly say I'd still be here so even if the final product of this had been a terrible mess I would still love it for keeping me alive. However, it did not turn out to be a terrible mess!

Now that the origin of this is out the way, where do I start with TechDif? Unlike Conchúr, I haven't really talked about them on here (unless you count one brief post about Citation Needed) before so I guess I'll do it here. The Technical Difficulties are a wonderful group of 4 British fellas who have had their fair share of fun online and even before. They did a radio show at university together, which went on to become their Reverse Trivia Podcast, later moving on to a panel show called 'Citation Needed': and a game called 'Two of These People Are Lying'. All of which I would thoroughly reccomend, they're one of my go to things when I'm having a rough time. All 4 of them are excellent! Tom Scott (red top, blue jeans on the picture) has his own YouTube channel which does content aside from TechDif. If you're quite nerdy and like science, linguistics, computers, or any number of other things you may enjoy Tom's channel. He is probably best described as "The Moderator" of the group, much like a tired teacher he tries desperately to keep everyone on track with what they're meant to be doing, but usually it does not end well for him. Then we have Matt Gray (space top, holding an ice cream) who also has a channel away from TechDif stuff, he does techy electronic things and has a series called 'Will it Soft Serve?' where he puts all kinds of strange things through a soft serve machine. Matt brings a very specific energy to TechDif and I can't fully describe what that vibe is but I love it. Matt and Tom also share a YouTube channel where TOTPAL is posted and they had a series called 'The Park Bench'. Moving on to everybody's favourite Gary Brannan: Gary Brannan (SATIRE hoodie, glasses) and can I just say, what a fella he is! He's just excellent! He is the one that will argue and rip into Tom the most (not in a malicious way) and hilarity ensues. There are some episodes where he is absolutely on it, getting all the points and others where he very clearly has no idea and that's where some of his funniest quotes come from. Given how badly I was doing at the time I made this, his response to it on Twitter was so so lovely. I specifically remember one tweet where he said I'd made him happy and although it was probably a flippant comment, it just made feel alright for a bit. Yeah I might be feeling awful right now, but I've made someone else happy so that's a nice feeling. Then last but certainly not least, we have Chris Joel (buffalo check shirt, beard)! I would be lying if I said he isn’t my favourite... His sense of humor is the one I vibe with most, he can get rather dramatic in parts and can chat bollocks like a champion. He has absolutely no online presence away from TechDif and, like Rens from Temples, I fully believe he’s a cryptid and lives off in a tree somewhere.

The picture took me about 4 days to complete, well 4 nights because I did most of it between the hours of 12 a.m. and 7a.m. - I remember watching the sun come through my window each morning. It’s made up of lots of little pieces, all cut out and stuck on; even the sky and hills are made of separate pieces of paper. Nothing was actually drawn on the piece of paper it’s all stuck on, it’s not how I usually do things but if I messed up one little but I could just redraw it rather than ruining the whole thing. The most tedious parts to make were Chris’ shirt because I had to draw each square individually and then join the as well, and cutting out the ban-hammer in the bottom right was surprisingly hard. Every single detail of the picture is a reference to the podcast/shows, I still have the plan sketch and reference list knocking about somewhere. I listened to a lot of true crime videos while making it to the point that certain parts remind me of different cases: the brandy now reminds me of Peter Tobin, and the big spiral thing reminds me of Tim McLean (very harrowing case) - sorry that fact is a bit morbid but interesting nonetheless.

I did post this for a little bit back in July, but I received some rather awful messages so I took it down. Generally, Tom Scott/TechDif fans are lovely but there’s been a few that have taken a disliking to me for some reason so I’m hoping they don’t resurface again. I’m in a better head space now though, so even if they do I’m more equipped to deal with it this time.

Hozier

This was a quick sketch I did in April, I was getting bored with lockdown and decided to summon the bog man himself. There’s not really much more backstory than that, no poor mental health story, no fun twitter story - he’s just here. He’s vibing. I will say I’m particularly proud of his nose, I just think it’s one of the best noses I’ve ever drawn. His hand is okay, but I think that the hands on my Conchúr drawings are better. So there is the Hozi-Boi...

The Corpse Bry

I’ve talked about Bry on here before as well, I love him, he’s excellent, top lad. He is a living Tim Burton character, he’s 6′6, very skinny, and his legs are longer than my will to live. I was watching ‘The Corpse Bride’ a few weeks ago and suddenly had an idea and so ‘The Corpse Bry’ came to be. I gave him a little panda friend because the panda has always been his animal - he used to wear a panda beanie all the time and his album had a panda on the cover. Again, there’s not really a fun story behind this one, I guess it’s somewhat fun because it’s the first art I made after finishing my psychology exams in October so it was nice to actually have the time to draw.

James Bagshaw

Ginger talking about Temples for the third post in a row? it’s more likely than you think! I did this one last week, I’d had a bit of a wobbly day and had group therapy on Teams in the evening and I just couldn’t concentrate on what was going on and I ended up doodling Mr James E. Bagshaw, the glitter crying fraggle man himself. It’s a bare-bones drawing that I could definitely work into more but I’m happy with it as it is to be honest. I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit and add the individual bits of fringe to his jacket, just thinking about doing that makes me tired. Maybe I’ll get around to drawing the whole band at some point...

Alice in “Wonderland”

This one is from about 5(?) years ago, it’s not my typical style and was a “study” based on another artists work (basically i just had to copy this fellas work). I’ll be honest, this one has a sketchy backstory that I won’t go in to because it’s not exactly a nice one, and because of that I also won’t say who the artist is that it’s based on. Despite this, I’m still really proud of this one and I’m so sad that I never got this piece back after I got taken out the class. I’ve considered trying this style again, I’ve even joked about doing another Conchúr drawing in this style as a nod to my progression through GCSE art, eventually leading to Conchúr drawn in ink on music manuscript and stained with neon paint and dyes - it would be quite the project!

So this has been quite a lengthy post so apologies about that but life goes on. Similar to the vinyl post, I’ll probably add to this as and when I make more art. Even if no one is reading these posts, I’m enjoying making them so that’s the main thing. It’s just nice to document things and the feelings that go with them. 💕

~ Love Ginger xx

29/11/2020

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #408

“tied to the rat race / a big bird in a small cage”

Who, whether a person or company, emails you the most? I really don't check my email enough to even know. If you were given an assignment to draw anything besides stick figures or just doodles, what would you draw? A meerkat of course, ha ha. Do you play the games on MySpace/Facebook? I never did. Well no, I did play "Dragons of Atlantis" when Facebook bought it or whatever, but now that it's a mobile game, I don't play anything on there. When was the last time you were sunburnt? Ha, actually now. It's from riding an hour to and an hour back from the TMS office every weekday; the sun coming in through the window got my arm. Who all do you live with? My mom and my two pets. Has a guy ever let you wear his jacket? Yeah. It was so comforting when Jason gave me his leather jacket to wear if I was cold; it was pretty big on me at that time and just really cozy. Thanks survey, now I feel like crying. :^) How many friends do you have of the opposite sex? Like, one. Do you have bird feeders hanging up outside? What about any hanging plants? No. Does your house have sliding glass doors? No. Was the last food item you ate part of a meal or a snack? A snack. What color is your hair brush? I don't use a brush, but a white comb. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? I think I prefer sunny for the sake of helping keep my depression at bay, but sometimes I really do enjoy some nice steady rainfall at the window. Who’s the last person that you hugged, not family? I have no idea. What will your next piercing be? Probably getting my nostril re-pierced. How many people have you kissed, that you can HONESTLY say you loved? Two. Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot? uhhhhhhhhhh now What’s scarier: spiders or worms? Worms gross me out, but a spider is more likely to actually scare me, but at the same time fascinate me. Do you play poker for real money? No. If you were pregnant, how long would you wait to tell the dad? I'd tell him immediately. Would you ever date out of your own race? I have in the past, and I would again. Do you still watch movies intended for children? Yeah. Hell, more than half the time they're better than "grown up" movies. What’s your favorite movie trilogy? Uhhhh does TLK count? ha ha What would you like to take lessons in? German. Whose Facebook password do you have? Just my own. Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school? No. Have you ever crawled through a window? Yes. Are you too forgiving? Yuuuup. Ever have a sleepover with the opposite sex? Well, we were dating. Have you ever gotten someone suspended? No. Have you ever wanted to be a teacher? No. Would you live with someone without marrying them? Yes; I believe you really probably should before getting married so you see if you "fit" as far as household habits and such go. Have you ever wanted to strip naked in front of someone? Yeah no. I'd feel way too awkward. What are you listening to? A John Wolfe video. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? My mom. Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone? I mean possibly, it was a public place, and some people are definitely caught off-guard by seeing two girls kiss. Do either of your parents have any tattoos or piercings? No. Mom wants a tattoo, though, dedicated to all of us kids and her grandkids. Are you desperate for anyone’s approval, in particular? -_- Would you ever stalk a celebrity? Um, no???? You don't stalk ANYBODY. It's a violation of space, privacy, basic respect... Do you have any National Geographic magazines lying around? No. Have you ever been mistaken for the opposite gender? No. Do you use liquid foundation, mousse, or just powder? None. Have you ever picked out a song to listen to on a juke box? Maybe? I don't remember. Have you ever eaten 3 meals from 3 different fast food places in one day? Oh god, I hope not. I don't remember ever having done that. Have you ever ridden in a limo? No. I always wanted to as a kid. Have you ever tried to put a huge puzzle together? Yeah, I have. I used to like to do that with my mom especially. Ever wake up early on Saturdays to go garage sale shopping? Yes, actually. My family used to love to do that. Do you keep magazines by your toilet? No. Ya better just bring your phone. What did you last take a picture of with your camera? On my actual camera, a hydrangea bush. On the camera on my phone, I believe my cat. Are you proud of who you are? Not... really. If you were a waiter/waitress, would you make good tips? Nope. I'm too awkward and I would NEVER write the orders down quickly enough. I write so slow. What are the best kind of Girl Scout cookies? The chocolate and peanut butter ones. If you hit an animal while driving, would you stop to see if it was okay? Well I doubt it's okay, but I would absolutely stop to move it away from the road and sob my eyes out. I'd probably try to find some flowers to rest on it. What's your favorite kind of pasta? Spaghetti. Have you ever played computer solitaire for hours on end? I don't even know how to play solitaire. What's the dumbest thing you've heard of that supposedly causes cancer? Who the hell knows, everything does apparently. If you saw wet cement, would you place your handprint in it? No. Can you honestly tell the difference between DiGiorno and delivery pizza? Absolutely. Do you own a lava lamp? No, but I would looove one. What charity or cause would you donate $1,000 to if possible? Off the top of my head, the Trevor Project. I'd probably research before actually donating, though. What would you say is your greatest strength? I guess that I care a lot about people. What's one food that you find too disgusting to eat? Things like clams, es cargot, sashimi... just ew. What's something that will never bore you? Uhhhh good question. Pizza Hut or Domino's? Domino's, by a long shot. What's something that always, no matter what, makes you laugh? Stupid Vines, lol. Have you ever been in a canoe? No. How many vehicles does your family own? Just one, my mom's. Are you generally afraid of taking risks? Yes. Have you ever caught/swatted a fly in/with your hand? Ew, no. Would you ever dye your hair bubblegum pink? Yeah. What was the last thing to happen that you really weren't expecting? The woman whose wedding I shot TWO YEARS ago finally reaching out to me about buying some pictures. What does it mean when you start eating less? What does it mean when you start eating more? If I'm eating less, odds are I'm extremely serious about losing weight. If I'm eating more than usual, high odds are I'm depressed or bored. Or I'm on my period. What’s the strangest named pet you’ve ever had? Harry Potter, ha ha. He was a guinea pig. What are some defense mechanisms you find yourself using when in an argument with someone? I'm very likely to just metaphorically flee from it because I fear confrontation so much. Do you know if there is anyone who was once important to you that you will never talk to again, even though you could? If I have any say in it, I'm never talking to Colleen again. List the initials of every person you have ever kissed, from first kiss to most recent kiss. (Put “?”s in the place of initials you don’t know.) I'm not listing their last initial, but anyway: J, T, G, S. Does your face break out right before your period? Not "break out," no. I'll just get a pimple or two. What did you dream about last night? All I remember was that it focused on Jason and his late mother. I miss her so much. I hope so much that whatever exists beyond death, she found the peace she was so worthy of. Do you think the United States health care system needs reform? FUCK yes I do. Our health care system is a disgusting fucking nightmare. Who was the last person you cried over? Jason. My PTSD has been doing quite well, but I had an emotional episode recently nonetheless. Do you prefer ceiling fans or fans that stand up on the floor and you plug in? I use both, but I think my preference is ceiling ones. What would you do if your son was at home, crying all alone on the bedroom floor because he’s hungry, and the only way to feed him was to sleep with a man for a little bit of money? Hypothetically, if I had a child, if I'm totally honest, I probably would. I would hate it, but I'm not letting my child starve to death if I can do something about it. Why do you think evolution is true/false? Because there is substantial evidence for it and imo is the most logical theory we've thought up. Some things about it seem kinda far-fetched, but I still have faith in it. I trust scientists and the evolution we see firsthand, such as caterpillars to cocoons, tadpoles to frogs, etc. Who came through for you at a time when you really, really needed it? Colleen. She let me live with her when I was technically homeless. What turned out better than you thought? Good question. What object did you used to, or do you still, keep hidden? My drawings. I've flipped my shit when Mom's found them in the past, even though she went on and on about how "amazing" they were. I don't draw anything "bad" at all, but still, I don't like people seeing my creativity. Who can’t you figure out? My damn self. What are you hoping for? The most recent thing would be hoping Shonda buys a lot, if not all, the wedding photos I took. I desperately want to use the money along with what I have left from Christmas to buy Venus' terrarium and proper supplies all by myself. What’s the best physical object that you kept from a previous relationship? Idk, there's a few things. What is the most socially unacceptable thing that you have no problem with? Maybe women not shaving. Like I couldn't care less. What have you done that you surprised yourself by doing? *shrug* What used to be a secret about you? Hm. Anything that used to be a secret probably still is one. What is the most stalky thing you’ve ever done? Just Facebook digging, and that's not something I've done a lot off. What did you wind up liking that you didn’t want anything to do with at first? The only thing that comes to mind at the moment is something sexual, so let's not go into that. Who do you owe your life that you can never pay back? Mom and Jason have both saved me from what would've been suicide attempts.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''monkey tree'' by mother mother

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trensu · 4 years

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Episode 32: The One where the Moonlit Rooftop BETRAYS Us

Remember how the last episode brutally tore the heart right out of our collective chest?

Well get ready to dial that pain up to ELEVEN BC THIS TIME AROUND THEY RIP THE HEART RIGHT OUT OF US AND THEN CRUSHES IT BENEATH THEIR HEEL

And i can’t even skip most of it!! Bc it is crucially important to know what state of mind our beloved sunshine boy is in for everything to make sense!!

Especially for what’s going to happen in the next episode!

So we HAVE TO SUFFER. THERE’S NO WAY AROUND IT.

We start our episode at the super fun jin ancestral hall in lanling where jyl is mourning the death of her husband!!

Enjoy this bc this is literally the least painful moment in the entire episode!!!

My precious sunshine boy is lurking behind a pillar, guilt-ridden and alone

He can’t get any nearer bc of the guilt

But he can’t stay away bc that’s his sister, his most precious person

Too bad madam jin spots him

AND THEN JYL SEES HIM AND STARTS CRYING

WWX’S FACE HERE, OH GOD, I CAN’T EVEN DESCRIBE IT

STRICKEN? HEARTBROKEN? DESPAIRING?? WHATEVER IT IS, IT MAKES ME WANNA CRY

So he flees, he can’t face his sister, not when he’s the reason she’s grieving

We’re in the middle of a forest again! It’s even less fun than the last time we were in the forest!

MY DARLING WWX IS HALLUCINATING

HE’S HALLUCINATING HIS SISTER

HE’S SO DESPERATE FOR ANY SCRAP OF KINDNESS OR AFFECTION HERE.

HE’S SO ALONE.

THE RESENTFUL ENERGY IS TAUNTING HIM “LET US OUT, LET US HELP YOU. YOU CAN ONLY RELY ON US”

HE’S SCREAMING BACK AT THEM, “GET LOST, GET LOST, LEAVE ME ALONE”

IT’S AWFUL. I WANNA DIE.

Now we’re at Qishan, listening to a bunch of cultivators gossip

Again.

The Wens’ bodies are hanging from rafters, all out on display in the open

Because slaughtering them wasn’t horrifying enough, they had to humiliate them after death too. Fucking jin clan.

Wwx appears behind the group and scares the shit out of them (GOOD)

He calmly pulls out his demon flute and starts playing

Within three notes he’s got the entire group of gossips pinned to the ground. Then he played a little extra just for kicks.

THAT’S MY BOY, SHOW ‘EM WHO’S BOSS

Now he’s like, why’d y’all stop talking? Weren’t you saying how you were gonna stop me?

And some idiot rando is like, you think you’re hot shit bully us weaklings?? You should go fight the clan leaders at their big celebration.

Wwx starts to choke him out bc he’s annoying him but wwx gives us this epic line

“Every injustice has its perpetrator.”

And he ditches those basic bitches to hunt down the guys that killed his people

Now we’re watching all this pompous sect leaders celebrating the murder of innocent lives, but we’re not gonna get into it bc they piss me off and nobody needs to pay attention to jgs’s speeches ever

Although i will mention that lxc and jc both look very conflicted at the events that are going down

HANGUANG JUN!!!

We’re back with the basic bitches and lwj appears!!

Lwj: where is wei ying?

Of course his first words in the episode are about wei ying.

And they’re all aw, you just missed him bro, he left about an hour ago

Lwj: where did he go?

And they’re like, Nightless City to hang out with the sect leaders!

Lwj’s face here is just, Worry and Dread.

We’re back with the sect leaders. Jgs is talking again

Thankfully, wwx interrupts him with his mental breakdown!!

AND HE INTERRUPTS BY SHOWING UP ON A MOONLIT ROOFTOP

MOONLIT ROOFTOP, HOW COULD YOU??

YOU WERE SO KIND TO US BEFORE!! WE TRUSTED YOU!! WE LOVED YOU!!!

WHAT DID WE DO WRONG?? HOW COULD YOU BETRAY US THIS WAY??

Jgs: what are you doing here?

Wwx: why can’t i be here? don’t you guys want me here? I’m saving you the effort of hunting me down!

Then there’s a lot of back and forth with rando cultivators throwing accusations at him and wwx making Valid Points left and right

As we all know, Valid Points don’t make a smidge of difference against the incredibly stupid and obstinate.

We won’t get into too much detail here bc it honestly doesn’t even matter what they’re saying, but there are a couple cool lines that i wanted to include

Somebody says something about him having a grudge against Jin Zixun a year ago

Wwx: Little characters like him i forget in 3 days, much less a year.

Which, like, LOL bc he’s right, jz was an insignificant little worm except worms are good for soil so he’s MORE insignificant than a little worm (i’m sorry worms, i shouldn’t have insulted you that way!!)

Later somebody says something about how they had admired wwx before but now they hate him

Wwx: Both your hatred and admiration is so cheap!

WE DO GET A COOL SCENE HERE THO

Some basic bitch shoots him with an arrow and it hits him right in the chest

Wwx barely even flinches

He tears that arrow right back out and covers it with resentful energy

Then LITERALLY THROWS IT BACK AT THE GUY WHO SHOT HIM AND PIERCES HIS CHEST

IT WAS AWESOME

And then he gives us another cool line.

Someone calls him vicious for shooting the guy who shot him before and he says “you’re already branding me as someone who uses wicked tricks, you can’t be counting on my mercy to let it go, right?”

It’s basically a whole ‘you want a bad guy? I’LL SHOW YOU A BAD GUY’ moment. Which looks cool, right, but is also super upsetting bc THIS IS MY PRECIOUS SUNSHINE BOY

MY PRECIOUS SUNSHINE BOY WHO ONLY EVER WANTED TO PROTECT THE WEAK AND DEFENSELESS

Now there’s a battle breaking out! Between the cultivators and the resentful spirits wwx summons

WWX LOOKS SICK AF PLAYING HIS DEMON FLUTE AND SUMMONING SPIRITS, LIKE ALWAYS.

But we don’t care about this battle.

This battle doesn’t matter. Even if it does look pretty cool.

Because all the important stuff happens on rooftops, as we already know.

And on the rooftop WE SUDDENLY HAVE LWJ SHOW UP WITH HIS GUQIN

HE’S PLAYING MAGIC MUSIC.

HE’S FACING DOWN WWX.

Wwx: lan zhan, you’re here. You should have known i’d be immune to the Song of Clarity

Lwj whooshes his guqin away.

Wwx: lan zhan, i knew one day we were gonna have a real fight.

anD WWX STARTS PLAYING HIS DEMON FLUTE AGAINST LWJ

LWJ DRAWS BICHEN AND STARTS DIVING SWORD FIRST TOWARDS WWX

AND EVERYTHING HURTS

WWX SLAMS HIM BACK WITH RESENTFUL ENERGY BUT LWJ PUSHES RIGHT BACK

Lwj: wei ying, stop it!

Wwx doesn’t respond. In fact, he’s kept his eyes closed and unresponsive since he started playing his flute, PROBABLY BC HE CAN’T BEAR TO WATCH HIMSELF ATTACK HIS SOULMATE

I ALSO CAN’T BEAR TO WATCH HIM ATTACK HIS SOULMATE BUT HERE I AM WATCHING BC APPARENTLY I ENJOY SUFFERING

Lwj: wei ying, stop it now!

Wwx: lan zhan, do you think i have any other choice now?

Lwj: the situation has changed!

Wwx: what?

Lwj: trust me. It’s not that simple.

Wwx: what do you mean?

But before we can get any answers or clues or anything useful, we get interrupted by jyl’s voice crying “a-xian!”

And thus begins the world’s WORST, MOST PAINFUL GAME OF MARCO POLO EVER

Because jyl is on the battlefield, still in her mourning robes. And she’s calling for her brothers.

Both jc and wwx hear her and instantly start looking for her

Wwx ditches the rooftop (and lwj with it), gives up his high ground and dives into the battlefield to look for his sister

He gets attacked by some cultivators and we hear the strum of a guqin

Lwj followed him! And defended him against attacks, BC THAT’S WHAT HE DOES FOR HIS SOULMATE. THAT’S HIS WHOLE THING.

Lwj: wei ying, your flute!

What he means is, keep playing, i’ll protect you from attacks while you get to your sister

And wwx starts playing again, bc EVEN AFTER he and lwj fought one another with all they had, he still trusts lwj

Jyl, jc, and wwx all take turns calling each other’s names. MY YUNMENG SIBS ARE TRYING TO REUNITE

Meanwhile we see lwj flitting about the edges of the screen blocking attacks left and right, and keeping wwx safe

SUDDENLY, we hear the sound of a second flute pierce the air! And the puppets get more vicious. WWX IS NO LONGER IN CONTROL

Btw, apparently, we the audience are the only ones who can hear this second flute BC NOBODY ON-SCREEN SEEMS TO QUESTION THE FLUTE MUSIC PLAYING EVEN WHEN WWX VERY OBVIOUSLY DOESN’T HAVE THE FLUTE AT HIS MOUTH TO PLAY IT

IT’S SO FRUSTRATING. I THOUGHT THESE CULTIVATORS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE SOMEWHAT INTELLIGENT BUT NOTHING THEY’VE DONE EVER SHOWS THIS

And oh fuck, once the second flute takes over the puppets we get the SAD BACKGROUND MUSIC FROM “THE ONES WHERE WE GROSS SOB FOREVER”

FUCK

I CAN’T

I’VE BEEN FUCKING PAVLOV’D TO INSTANT TEARS AT THIS MUSIC, DAMN IT ALL.

NOOOO, NONONONONO I’M NOT READY, I’M NOT READY, I’M NOT READY

The yunmeng sibs are still crying out for each other as this Sad Music plays aND I JUST CAN’T.

They finally set eyes on one another, only to see a puppet come up behind jyl

Jc is begging wwx to stop the puppet bc he thinks wwx is still in control

Wwx is so desperate here that he doesn’t even use his flute, he just starts SCREAMING at the puppet to stop, “GO AWAY, DON’T TOUCH HER”

And lwj sees this all happening! He follows wwx’s line of sight and sees that jyl is about to get cut down by a puppet

LWJ SEES THIS AND IMMEDIATELY TRIES TO GO TO HER AID

BC HE KNOWS JYL IS WWX’S PRECIOUS PERSON. TO PROTECT HER IS TO PROTECT WWX’S HEART

Also i like to think that lwj and jyl bonded over their love for wwx way back in “the one where jyl captains the ship” so he’d want to protect his friend anyway

But he gets intercepted by two other puppets who attack him and keep him stalled far away from jyl and wwx

FUCK

WHY

GOD DAMN IT

The puppet cuts down jyl from behind

AND IT FUCKING HURTS ME IN THE DEEPEST PART MY SOUL

And wwx is in a state of shock bc HIS SISTER, HIS BELOVED SISTER IS HURT, HIS SISTER IS HURT

Wwx makes a mad dash towards her

But Lwj intercepts him and says “wei ying, stop your puppets! Stop them!”

Wwx doesn’t listen to him. He flings lwj’s arm away and keeps running

Wwx finally makes it to where jyl fell, where she’s now being cradled in jc’s arms

Wwx reaches for her but jc shoves him away

Jc: you said you could control them, you said there was no problem

He’s not even really yelling here, but his voice is all cracked, hoarse, and pained

Wwx: it’s not me, i don’t know! i didn’t make them kill people, why can’t i control them? I lost control of them!

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING

I’M HURTING SO MUCH RIGHT NOW

I’M SICK OF CRYING, SHOW, I’M SICK OF IT. PLEASE STOP. WHY MUST YOU HURT ME

Jyl is still alive!

Jyl: a-xian, xianxian

She reaches and puts her hand on the side of his face

Jyl: you ran so fast, i didn’t have enough time to look at you and talk to you

AND I’M FUCKING SOBBING BC SHE SOUNDS SO WEAK AND WWX HAS TEARS STREAMING DOWN HIS FACE AND EVERYTHING FUCKING HURTS

Jyl: i wanted to tell you--

But she doesn’t get to finish that sentence bc she sees someone aiming for wwx’s back and she shoves him out of the way to protect him

She gets a sword to the chest

And the rando cultivator holding the sword is all it’s not my fault, i was aiming for you, wwx this is your fault!

FUCK YOU RANDO CULTIVATOR FUCK YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL

Wwx starts to choke him out, which is good bc i wanted to do that myself too

And jc is sobbing, rocking his sister’s body

AND THIS IS WHERE THE EPISODE ENDS

WHAT

THE

FUCK

NO, I CNA’T, I CAN’T, I’M HURTING SO MUCH, COME BACK AND MAKE IT BETTER GOD DAMN IT

I HAVE NO MORE TISSUES!! TISSUES ARE CURRENTLY A HOT COMMODITY, I CAN’T JUST GO OUT AND BUY MORE

FUCK, JUST LEAVE ME HERE TO DIE. I CNA’T ANYMORE.

Return to Masterpost

#WangXiantics #wangxian #the untamed #cql

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elle-boll · 5 years

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Down in the Car Park - John Deacon

Good evening lovelies!! This is just a little something I’d been thinking of, I swear some Roger content is coming! I promise <3

Summary - A night out for drinks was a nice idea until you had crossed paths with the wrong girl, who else could you rely on...

Warnings - Swearing, detailed fight scene, mentions of sExUaL AcTiViTiEs !!

Word Count - 2k+

---

The air was crisp as you walked out of the pub, your joy was off the charts and you were simply bubbling with excitement. The boys quickly followed you out, followed by a couple of other friends that joined. Roger came out singing old country songs, he’d never expressed interest in tunes like those till he got a bit of drink into him. He sang loudly, stumbling over his own feet till he balanced himself against you. His arm weighing heavily on your shoulders.

“Come on boys and girls! We aren’t done!” He announced, laughing and hollering as the group went forward.

For the benefit of everyone else, John had stayed sober. He loved to have a drink but he knew someone was gonna throw up or lose a shoe and he needed to be there to pick up the pieces when that happened. He watched as you sang with Roger, the words were incoherent and not one was correct. He was so caught up in watching you lead the group, he never noticed that Brian had been calling his name. Brian wasn’t nearly as drunk as you or Roger, he was just a little tipsy, nothing terrible.

“Deacon! Finally! You sure you don’t just want a little something? It’d be a waste of a night” He grinned, coughing slightly. John just shook his head.

“Got stuff to do in the morning�� He lied, but Brian didn’t push further, simply calling it his loss as he continued on with casual conversation. The next pub was insight as you and Roger made a massive scene entering, hollering and bringing in a massive amount of hyperactive energy. The rest of the pub went along with it.

---

You had all decided to stay in the one pub, you had your head in Deacon’s lap, his fingers playing with your hair that had gone frizzy, occasionally handing you the drink when you wanted a sip. You just rested there, trying not to fall asleep as his fingers combed through and brushed against your forehead and sides of your neck. He watched as Freddie sobered up a little, he could tell as he had ran to the bathroom, coming out with his hair held back with a rubber band that he had kept in his pocket.

“I needa’ piss...I’m be right back, don’t worry bout’ me” You groaned as you sat up, his fingers leaving your hair as you pushed yourself up.

“Are you sure? Are you gonna get sick?” He asked, but was quickly shut down as you gave him a thumbs up, he was still a little bit sceptical. You disappeared behind the bathroom doors.

John sat with his leg bouncing slightly, a cigarette between his lips as he laughed with his bandmates. He did wonder where you’d gone, it’d been a bit longer than a few minutes. Even Roger had started to wonder where you were.

“Maybe she’s giving a quickie” He laughed, starting the chorus of laughter, John felt his stomach drop a little at the sentence. He laughed along anyways.

It had been more than 10 minutes. He started to get a bit fidgety. He looked towards the bathroom door every few seconds, before it finally opened, seeing you step out with a very stern face. He tried not to bounce off the seat and see if you’d puked your stomach out. You made your way over very calmly, not like you at all, all the boys went quiet as you sat back down next to John.

“So...I’m ‘bout to fight some bitch in the car park tonight,” You said calmly, but a sly smile made its way onto your face.

“You serious!?” Roger practically shrieked, before he was shushed. “No, am just havin’ a laugh, Rog…’course I’m serious!” You exclaimed, huffing as you sunk back into the sink, John turning to look at you.

“Where did this all come from?” He muttered, but he got no answer. “You’re gonna have to take my heels and earrings, don’t want anything to happen to them, and my necklace...I’m keeping the rings on,” You said with the same serious tone, your hands reaching to your ears to take out the earrings you had in. Ones that John had bought you as a thank you gift.

“Woah, woah, Y/N, why is this happening, it’s so sudden,” John told you, but took the earrings from your hand.

“Deaky-” He could melt at the way you said that nickname, but now wasn’t the time, “-just hold my things for me, you’d do that for me, wouldn’t you?” You tilted your head slightly, you could see how his face softened. Sure it was a little bit manipulative, making your voice all soft and using all the ways you knew he’d just go all mushy inside for him to get off your back, but it needed to be done.

“I guess so” He mumbled, helping you unclasp your necklace, the pub still bustling with people.

“Is it an app-appropriate, damn that’s a hard word, an appropriate time to ask if I can watch?” Roger interrupted, a shit-eating grin on his face, you could tell he was running on pure excitement at the idea of watching you scrap. You just nodded as you turned to face John, who put the items in his pockets. You could see he was nervous from the look in his eyes. Your arms wrapped around him, resting your head on his shoulder, embracing him and whispering how you’ll be okay and it isn’t your first rodeo. He just chuckled, but swallowed the ball of nerves that was building his throat.

---

Roger followed you out, taking hold of your high heels as you quickly tied your hair up, a messy bun, small baby hairs poking out from it. He hurried behind you as you seemed to storm off around the corner to the back of the car park. He saw a group of girls, but only one seemed to be separate from them.

She was slim and clearly drunk, but not enough to be completely out of it. She wore a bralette with low rise jeans, a drastic difference to your outfit. A dress that reached your mid-thigh, a sparkly black that you had no clue if it actually flattered you or not, it was just what you chose. You looked too overdressed to be fighting in a car park. You slowed down as you approached the group, watching as the girl eyed you up and down, Roger stood at a distance.

“Had’ta bring someone to help did ya’ love?” The girl mocked, looking over at Roger, who held the heels close to his side. You tutted, walking forward. You didn’t make a comment back, it was tense and quiet, before you had taken a step closer, grabbing her by the hair.

That’s when it started.

With wide eyes, Roger watched as you pulled her close to the ground, and her grab your leg to throw you off. Her nails scratched at your bare skin, enough to draw blood before she was shoved to the ground. You’d given her a sharp kick to the side before she rolled away slightly, pushing herself back up. She’d stormed towards you, bringing her knee up to push you up against your pubic bone. A small grunt left your lips before your elbow collided with her chest. It knocked her back a couple of steps.

There’d been a lot of tussling, blood drawn and bruises given. The last straw was when she had grabbed your head and knocked you to the ground.

Your nose hit the tarmac with an audible crack. You pushed yourself up when she was distracted, turning back to look at her group who egged her on. Roger stood in silence.

You punched her in the stomach, taking the air out of her. You dragged her to the ground, sitting on top of her, your knees either side of her, holding her down by the wrists.

“Tell everyone what you called me...go ahead” You ordered, your spit and blood from your nose splattering on her. She remained quiet.

“I am no slag, I am not a slut, I am not some one for all for a band...I don’t fuck any of ‘em” You spat, watching as her face fell in defeat. “I don’t throw myself around like some hooker, and I’d love to hear you make more remarks about my mates...cause I fuckin’ dare you!” Your hand collided with her face.

“Some of us got a little bit of respect, now, ladies, I have some business I need to tend to” You let your fist collide against her again, satisfied as her face had a worn-out expression and it rested on the tar.

You waited a few seconds before standing up, making your way towards Roger and taking him by the arm, limping away. Your nose was in a ton of pain, it was flowing like a faucet and a small lump had raised on the side of it. Your legs and arms were scratched up as if a cat had gone to town on it. Your thighs and upper arms were a myriad of bruises.

“I need a drink...and a tissue...and a hug” You mumbled, leaning against Roger as he placed an arm around you, rubbing your shoulder gently. He felt sober after watching it, and he also felt sick.

---

You kept your head down as you walked into the pub, trying to go unnoticed by everyone and taking a seat next to John. He was ready to pull you into his arms before he saw the small lump on the side of your nose and the stain of fresh blood seeping down your face and into your mouth. Without a moment’s notice, he had hurried you to stand up and he took your hand, dragging you to the bathroom.

He huddled into a stall with you in the men’s bathroom. He hadn’t said a word, he only held a tissue to your nostrils, his face read a look of worry and an expression of just...being upset. He never said a single thing as he held the tissue, changing it repeatedly. You just sat on the closed toilet and he kneeled down, staring at you while you stared at the ground.

“I know you’d never lie to me...but do you know how much I was hoping you were just joking…” He whispered, his voice was low, he sounded disappointed. “Do you know how much trouble you could’ve gotten in? How much damage that could’ve happened? Do you Y/N? Cause something tells me you don-” He paused his tangent when he saw your eyes beginning to well up, he knew you were capable of holding back, you weren’t one to just cry over nothing.

“Dove...please...I’m just worried about you, please don’t cry” He took his thumb to your eyes, catching the small tears that fell.

“I’m not a violent person...I just didn’t know what to do...so I told her to meet me ou’side...she called me a whore and said that the only reason I’m in touch with any of you guys is because everyone thinks I’m a boy-toy...but I’m not, I’m not...right?” Your voice went hoarse as you looked back at John, his face had fallen as his hand rested on your cheek. He just shook his head before taking you into his arms. You didn’t cry, just rested there, his arms around you.

“You’re nothing like that, nothing” He whispered to you, pressing a gentle kiss to your cheek as he pulled away from you. “You mean the world to me, and if I could wrap you up in bubble wrap and be sure no one would ever hurt you like that, I would” He chuckled, watching you smile a little.

The stall was knocked on. “It’s Freddie, do you guys want a, uhh, what’s it...a lift to the emergency room?” He asked, his shoes visible from under the stall door.

“Absolutely” You replied, watching how the blood had seeped onto John’s shirt. “Deaky and I are on our way” You added, looking at how his expression softened. He felt warm inside again.

#queen #queen imagine #queen one shot #one shot #john deacon x reader #john deacon #deaky #freddie mercury #brian may #roger taylor #rogerina #fem!reader #fanfic

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lesbicattiva · 5 years

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araki’s interview at luccacomics&games 2019 part two.

loose & imperfect transcript / translation of araki first interview (30th oct 2PM) at lucca comics & games 2019 at teatro del giglio about his main work: jojo’s bizarre adventures. (talk show translated from italian to english 2/5).

A: Good evening. Q: Good evening. Since we’re here to talk about it, I’d like to ask: how was JOJO’s Bizarre Adventure born? A: [ignores the question just to properly repeat ‘good evening’ again and then point at cosplayers] I think I recognize that character! Maybe I saw it on japanese tv! Q: [stammers] Uh.... my question? A: Oh right [laughs]. The idea of JOJO came because I wanted to draw characters with superpowers that can’t be seen. I wanted to draw that and shape those powers on paper. I did it on shōnen jump, where I debuted, and just tried to pick a name that could be easily remembered, something like with a double J and a double O.

Q: Continuing with the foundations of JOJO, as I was saying earlier, there’s a common theme in this year’s lucca comics and JOJO; the focus on ‘humanity’, its tight bond with ‘fate’ and the ‘immortality of the human spirit’. I’d like to know why these themes have been chosen and why you like them so much. A: Actually, it’s because I’ve been told to draw something like this, and so I did it [editor of JOJO laughs]. But only after drawing it I realized that “wow, I drew something really interesting!” a theme so deep such as ‘admiration for human beings’ and so on. It’s really a serious thing [him, the translator and the two editors laugh] but yeah, I only realized it later because at first I’d just been told to draw [head-editor of ultra jump speaks to araki and he nods]. Well, yes, actually this was the short version of the story, the longer one is that I actually wanted to draw the theme of the ‘affirmation of humans’, of ‘not rejecting your humanity’. And because of this there are ‘good’ characters, which are obviously appreciated, but even ‘evil’ characters have something that can be appreciated since they are human beings. And this was more or less the idea for JOJO’s theme. I gave a bit of a superficial answer at first but now it’s a good answer, isn’t it? [everyone laughs]

Q: Let’s remain on the theme of fate, of destiny, of how we humans are destined, or damned, if you will, to follow a certain path. In JOJO there isn't just the protagonists’ family, which moves from location to location, but there’s also another family.... the Zeppeli [audience laughs]. It’s good to see you guys taking it that way because they really.... don’t. Since, as you can hear, I’m from Napoli, I’m rather curious if their fate will always be the same or if they’ll be able to take control of it someday. A: I don’t mean to ‘persecute’ them, but they are complementary to the Joestar family. Them ending up dying serves to complete the flow of the story and to facilitate the path of the Joestars. Q: But do you see a possibility for them in the future.... I really care about them, you see. A: I’m glad that you’re a big fan of the Zeppeli as I am. But I think that the beauty of their family is in the very fact that, yes they will die, but they will also pass on those values and positive qualities through their deaths. The very act of dying for them allows that. Don’t you think too? Q: Yes. I too.... can’t wait to die. [audience laughs and so does araki, but he’s still a little concerned]

Q: In JOJO, compared to other mangas where characters fight, you made a precise choice; that is, the absence of a direct clash. You opted for a more studied, strategic way of fighting, almost like a chess match. And the cornerstones of that are stands. How do you manage to always find new powers and tactics? A: Having new ideas is my job. I get inspired by many things, especially during my everyday life: when I meet my friends or I see them do particular gestures, when I talk with my old neighbour or when I drink a glass of water and some gets stuck in my throat; then I think “hey! I could make a stand power out of that!”. Basically, I think observing little details is essential to my creative process.

Q: Many of the stories of JOJO are real travel diaries, since a huge variety of settings is present. How much the setting influences the writing and how fundamental is it? Do you start from there to create the story or is it just a plus? A: I was very inspired by the small trips I did when young. As a kid I would bike to various places, I’d climb up mountains, go around other cities.... This travelling process helped me a lot in my growth – from kid to adult, so for me the philosophy of a journey is very important because it allows the characters who partake in it to evolve and become adults, from the beginning to the end of the journey. As for the other part of the question, thinking about the creative process of the manga for more contained locations.... For example, if you stopped to camp during a trip and encountered one of your fears, you would have to face it directly. But I asked myself what would happen if that fear, that enemy, is the one hiding instead; maybe even in the apartment next to you. From this idea the setting of Morio-cho was born, to have an invisible enemy, a peaceful person who just waits silently somewhere in the background. This has been a different challenge compared to what I previously tackled regarding the process of a journey.

Q: Speaking of Morio-cho, would you like to live in this town you created? A: Yes. I’ve answered your question right away because it’s based on the town where I grew up, near Sendai, it was full of weird people [audience laughs] – well, they were all good people but [laughs a bit] still some were weird. Q: I see. I’m sure there were some Zeppelis there as well.

Q: Again, speaking of the creative process, it’s common knowledge that you listen to a lot of music while working. It’s also an interesting concept, since rhythm is essential to storytelling. How much music, and what type, influences your work? A: What influences me the most is the rhythm, and you can probably see it in the onomatopoeias that I use, which can go like [makes an index gesture] ‘tan-tan-pa’. They are all different types of rhythms that I listen to while writing, this of course influences my creative process as well.

Q: Okay. This is my last question, then I’ll leave the rest to fans. What will the future of JOJO be? A: I don’t know [laughs]. (note: translator suggests he might know but doesn’t want to reveal anything) Actually, I had a good idea of the beginning and a relatively clear idea of the end, but everything else in between is like a jazz concert: it’s a very spontaneous and in the moment creative process. But yes, the ending is pretty definite to me.

F: Hi. As we were saying, you are often inspired by ordinary things: your travels, your childhood, music.... In Diamond Is Unbreakable there's a stand called Bad Company and I remember seeing something similar in a Stephen King's story. I'd like to know if you took inspiration from that and if you like horror movies in general, and if they influence you in any way. (note: people say this guy was rude) A: No, I didn't know there was a story like that. But yes, I do like Stephen King. I enjoyed The Twilight Zone and I'm definitely influenced by horror for my work but I prefer movies like Chucky or Child's Play. I really love horror movies though.

F: Hi. I read online that the ending and opening songs for the anime are personally chosen by you. I'd like to know if there's an italian song that you like and maybe would use as an ending for the anime. A: An italian song? Mhh. I really like PFM. Was it Premiata? Premiata? [audience claps loudly and araki smiles] Premiata Forneria Marconi, that's it! I didn't decide it just now, I really do like it! [laughs] I also love Puccini's opera.

F: Hello. We know that clothes are one of the main characteristics of JOJO and that many are also inspired by famous brands, I'd like to know, then, what's the creative process behind the creation of those outfits. A: A thing that all of my clothes have in common is that they are comfortable and facilitate movement. In particular, for the protagonists, I always base myself on the model of a classic japanese student uniform, on which I then add other features, like ladybugs brooches or more fancy accessories. But the start is always the school uniform. When I was young I really liked “Babil Junior”, a manga where the protagonist wears a school uniform while in the desert. I found that truly beautiful and it inspired me a lot. To be able to draw these characters in school uniforms and have them go around desolate locations.... It really touched me and even made me cry a bit.

Q: While I search for the next person can I ask another quick question of my own? If you could choose your stand, what would it be? A: Judging by the weather here in Lucca, which has been pretty gloomy today, I’d say that I’d like the stand power of a ‘hare-otoko’ / 晴れ男 (lit. a man that brings good weather). In fact, forecasts said that it would rain a lot today, but since I’m here, thanks to me, there’s good weather [laughs]. (note: believe it or not, it always rains during lucca comics, but for the hours that araki was there, the weather was good. as soon as he finished his talk show, it started raining heavily. he really has a powerful stand.)

F: Hi. A straightforward question: since today's theme is ‘becoming human’ don't you think that Diavolo's punishment was a bit too much? (note: people say this guy was also rude) A: Oh, sorry, you don’t like his punishment? [laughs] I think he was such an evil character that he deserved to end like that. I’ve been told that his death was too harsh by japanese fans as well, however.... I think it was fitting for someone as evil as him. Sorry.

Q: Since time is almost up, allow me to ask the last questions. Is there a character that you think looks like you or just one that you can easily identify with? A: Rohan— [audience interrupts him by cheering loudly] NO NO NO [araki and the translator laugh]. I was saying that Rohan is who I aspire to be but it’s not who I am, sorry [araki and the translator laugh again]. There isn’t a character that I can really identify with but my favourite is Shigechi. [audience is kinda surprised] I like it when he collects the money that fell on the ground.

Q: Looking in hindsight at the work you’ve done on JOJO so far, is there any anecdotes that you’d like to share with us here today? A: I don’t know if it’s interesting but when I was writing for weekly shōnen jump the deadline was set to 19 pages of work each week. But every single time I just couldn’t limit myself to only 19 and always ended up doing 21. Like this, 2 pages were always going to be cut out. They wouldn’t even go in the next chapter because they were part of the current one and thus had to be cut out completely. Currently I’m very satisfied because I have 45 pages to work with in ultra jump. Although, actually, maybe now they’re a bit too many [everyone laughs].

Q: The last thing that I’ll ask you before saying goodbye is: if you could go back to the very first day in which you sat down at your desk and started working on JOJO, is there something that you would do differently? A: I would change the printing mistakes, for example ‘nani o suru da’ / 何をするだァーッ would often be written incorrectly as ‘nani o surun da’ / 何をするんだァーッ (where んだ got added) [laughs and jokingly blames the editor of JOJO, who takes responsibility. even though the editor wasn’t able to correct them at the time he still feels it was his responsibility nonetheless]. But yes, in the end, I would change little things like this, because in the first volumes there were many mistakes like this.

#hirohiko araki #jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #JOJO #hirohiko araki interview #jojo no kimyou na bouken #jojo no kimyō na bōken #jojo interview #luccacomics #luccacomics&games #luccacomics&games2019 #luccacg19 #lucca #jojo translation #my stuff

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heanv · 5 years

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lowkey

genre: angst, romance, enemies to lovers! au, secret lovers! au

BASED ON A BOOK! “ Letters to the Lost” by Brigid Kemmerer

warnings: typos,mentions of death, car accident, cursing, smoking

words count: 8k.

song: lowkey by Niki

requested by: @deniiiloves

“Me too.”

Everythings was shaking.The words, the sheet of paper you were holding was shaking,your hands.Your eyes burned in the sight of the foreign handwritting.You closed them tightly and tried to take a deep breath.

Someone read your letter.

It’s been two days since you last came here on the cemetry.The letter should have been taken by the wind or animals.But now it is in your hands once again and not only this but someone felt the need to put on a comment.This was unacceptable.This was private.Between you and your mother.

It was a boy.You were absolutely sure.There were greasy fingertips on the edges and the handwritting was ugly.It radiated arrogance.How could he even think about it. To insert himself out of nowhere into your grief and to have the guts to claim that he knows how it feels. He does not. He doesn’t even have the slightest idea what kind of pain this is.

You showed up late for school, with reddened,running make up and shuddering breath.Again.It was late September, months after your mother’s death but your desparate tries to get yourself together weren’t so successful. After school you went there again.After all you weren’t in the mood for homework nor to go at home and lock yourself in your room.There was something different this time.You feel colder than usual.You feel exposed,too vulnerable.Every single thing you want to say could be seen,read,judged.So this time instead writting to her, you wrote to him.

‘‘Privacy is an illusion.

Obviously you know this,since you read my letter.It wasn’t addressed to you.It wasn’t for you.It had nothing to do with you.It was between me and my mother.

I know she is dead.I know she can’t read the letters.I know there is very little I can do to feel close to here anymore.

Now I don’t even have this.

Do you understand what you’ve taken from me?Do you even have an idea? What you wrote implies that you undestand what agony is.

I do not think you do’‘

This was the first weekend you didn’t go to the cemetry.But you are glad you did this morning because you found a letter.

“What is this?” asked Mina.

“A letter.”

She said no more because she ptobably thought it was for my mother.I let her think that.

“I don’t think you understand agony yourself.If you did, you wouldn’t have interfered with me.

Did you ever think that my words weren’t meant for you to read,either?

Are you getting crazier than you already think you are? When you read the letter for the first time this morning instead of crying, you found yourself getting angry and you wanted to punch this damn loser in the face.The silence was making you even more furious because it only caused you to overthink even more.

The bell rang.You needed to move, you didn’t want another detention.Mina escorted you to your class not asking why you suddenly looked worse than normal, which you deeply appreciated.Of course during classes you were just physically attenting.Nothing really sparked your interest anymore, you notes were messy and you didn’t even feel bad.After the teacher dissmised the class you wanted to exit the classroom as fast as you can and so you did.

You felt a sharp burn and let out a cry as the hot liquid makes contacted your skin and clothes.A cup of coffee has exploaded over you and unconsciously you fell on something solid and you see scuffed black boots.

Lee Donghyuck, with his shirt and jacket were soaked also with coffee,was “shinning” in front of you.The star quarterback that had got a criminal record and a frequent seat in detention.He’s tall,amazingly handsome but mean enought to keep all the girls away, and not only.He was simultaneously trying to help you up and pull you away from him.He looks at you with face with absolute derision and with his rough voice half whispers.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

You are definetely not afraid of him,who does he think he is?

“You ran into me”

“I wasn’t the one running” he takes a sharp move forward which causes a great intensity humiliating and horrible.

Okay, maybe you were afraid of him, a little.

“Lee Donghyuck.Late.Again” Mrs.Kim,my freshman biology teacher.

“I wasn’t late.She ran into me”

Mrs.Kim pursed her lips, looked at us,probably notice the coffee stains and sighed.

“No food is allowed outside the cafeteria-“

“Coffee isn’t food” interrupted Donghyuck.

“Mr.Lee I believe you know the way to the principal’s office”

“Yeah, I could draw you a map.” his voice sharpened and you start wondering if he is going to hit the teacher.” But as I sad this is not my fault”

Then he left the conversation,throwing the paper cup into the trash can.

———————————•••———————————

“You are right.

I shouldn’t have interfered with your grief.I’m sorry.This doesn’t mean you are right to read my letter and I still kind of hate you for that.I have been thinking about your “me too” and what it meant and whether your pain is anything like mine.

Not that it is any of my business.”

———————————•••———————————

It was Sunday afternoon and you were sitting in the sunlight for two hours.It’s a popular day at the cemetry and you’ve been watching mourners come and go all after noon while re-reading your answer.

“I’d say you are kind of dark but I’m writting to a girl who leaves letters in a cemetry, so I guess that’s given.

You said you were wondering if my pain was like yours and honestly I dont’t know.

You lost your mother and I haven’t lost mine.Don’t you think it’s funny how people say “lost” as if they are just misplaced?

My sister died four years ago.My father killed her.She was ten. People assume we spent her last days in a hospital surrounded by doctors but we didn’t even know they were her last days.

Cancer didn’t kill her.My father did.And I could have stopped it, but I didn’t.

My dad is in prison now, and my mum is married to a dumbass.’’

I’ve read the letter seventeen times and I read it one more.

“Me too”

He’s lost his sister. Four years ago. She was ten so now she’d be fourteen. Is the Letter Guy an older brother- or a younger one? Your conversations were too mature there is no way you were writting to a twelve-year-old.Just no way.

———————————•••———————————

“I’ve started a 35 notes to you and they all start with “I’m 17” and no more.

I sound like an idiot.I just don’t wanna loose it . I don’t even know you but I understand you.

And I feel like you understand me. And that’s what I like so much about it.”

I couldn’t believe I actually did write this.But what I couldn’t believe more was the response.

“I don’t wanna loose it either. But maybe we could take it digital, so we are not at the mercy of the elements?

I set up an anonymous accont

[email protected]

your move,Cemetry girl.”

Wow.

The moring breeze qas chilly, and it ruffled the paper.You read it again.

Wow.Wow. Suddenly you needed to move. You kissed your palm and slapped it to the gravestone.

“Sorry Mom,gotta go.”

From: Cemetery girl <[email protected]>

To: The Dark <[email protected]>

Date: Wednesday,October 2 ; 7:17 AM

Subject: Going digital

The Dark? Don’t you think that’s kind of ghoulish?

———————————•••———————————

Mina was waiting for me while I was hopelessly seaching for one book of mine and that’s when I overheard the conversation of two girls next me.

“Do you know him?”

“Lee Donghyuck.Duh, who doesn’t?

“Is it true that he stole a car?”

“Yeah and not only he stole it but he ran it into an office building”

I did not heard the last asnwer and I honetly didn’t really have a choise because Hendery, a friend of Mina approached us.

“How are you girls doing?”

“We are fine, what about you?” Mina asked, while trying to hide her huge smile, failing miserably.

“Never been better.So...” he put his hands on his waist and gave me and Mina a glance “Are you two going to the homecoming tomorrow?”

Mina nudged me with her hip feeling my uncomfortable state.

“It doesn’t have to be a date. Just hanging out”

A dance? Now? Maybe it wasn’t that bad idea i neee some distraction.

“Sure”

“Really?” the both look at me,not believing what they heard. Honestly I didn’t beleive it either.

“Yeah,of course”

———————————•••———————————

From: The Dark <[email protected]>

To: Cemetery Girl <[email protected]>

Date: Wednesday,October 2 ; 8:16 AM

Subject: Ghoulish

We met by exchanging letter in a cemetry so I don’t think either of us is in position to call the other ghoulish.

Are you going to the Homecoming? I am. I know you probably don’t feel doing such a thing but I think that you deserve to feel something else beside grief, you deserve to have the normal life of a teenager.

You felt yourself blushing. He cared about you. And he was right, you felt guilty going to the Homecoming When you told your father that you were going, he looked like he was having a stroke and then he handed you his credit card and told you to get whatever you wanted. He seemed releived that you started opening up but you felt almost as if you are faking it.

———————————•••———————————

A blue-silver party factory exploaded in the school gym.Ballon bouquets hang everywhere,along with crepe-paper rosettes and streamers crisscrosedin every direction. It is so cheesy but secretly you really liked the way the tiny mirrors throw spots of light around the darkned gymnasium.

You haven’t seen Hendery yet, instead you were clinging to Mina. Then your eyes rake over the crowd. The Dark is here and he could be anyone.

“Are you looking for Hendery?” Mina leaned in close.

Not at all.

“Yes.Have you seen him yet?”

“No.Let’s go over by the food tables so he can find us.”

/ Wonder what I'll do when the cops come through/

Along the black wall,six long tables that have been set up were filled up various kind of snacks and bottled water. You picked up a cup of a punch and lifted it up to your lips,prepared to scan the crowd again. But you choke on the drink and almost cough it all over Donghyuck. I didn’t really expect him to comply with the dress code of the Homecoming, but he did. He was wearing a white shirt,khaki trousers, and blue-and-green-stripped tie. You did your best to get your heart rate under control.

“Stalker much?”

“Yeah” he says with his voice rough low and full of sarcasm. “ I’m stalking you at the food table” He moved to get past you.

“Looking to spike the punch?”

/ And the whiskey's run out/

That was a mistake and you realize it as soon as the words leave your mouth. You shoudn’t have said anything. Donghyuck looks like a dog ready to bite. With eyes made of ice he looked at you.

“No.” Then he moved past you again and walked away. You saw him how he gave a bottle of water to somebody, but it took you a moment to make out who it was.

It was Mark Lee, Donghyuck’s best and probably one friend. It was the first time for you to see him not wearing a hoodie and he is actually a very decent-looking guy.

‘‘ You guys look NICE” Hendery appeared all of a sudden.

“So do you” said Mina.

You spent some time trying to dance with Mina and Hendery but eventually you got tired and you didn’t wanted to ruin the fun the other two were having.

‘‘ I’m thirsty” you excused yourself.

You stepped off the dance floor and moved to the bleachers. There was a gap in the riser there,backed by the emergency doors.The lights didn’t reach there. You almost felt as if you are in a cave, all by yourself.

“ I don’t want to scare you” said a soft voice behind you and someone moved from the shadows. It was Mark Lee.

“It’s okay”.

Mark smiled softly at you and then you thought about it. If you had to compare Mark and Donghyuck, they’d be like white and black or day and night. You and Mark talked how was the night going and then you aked him if he had a date.

‘’ I don’t really date, I’m more like wingman’’ then he looked at the darkness behind him.

‘‘For who?’‘

‘‘No, for Hyuck.He’s outside,grabbing a cigarette.’‘

Then you heard steps.Donghyck freezed when he saw you and his eyes iced over again.

‘‘Stalker much?’‘

‘‘Hasn’t anyone ever told you that smoking will kill you?’‘ you told your cheeks not flush.

‘‘You are kidding. They should write that on the package.’‘

‘‘How can you be so mean?”

He’s closer suddenly you could smell his cigarette-stinking breath.

‘‘You know nothing about me”

You speak with thinking as fast as he takes one step back.

‘‘ I know you are a loser with a record.’‘

And here we go again. The guilt. How could he make you feel so guilty? You looked up and saw Donghyuck’s colder than normal. He made a sign to Mark and they both turned back to going back to the party. You ran after them, not sure why, and you shouted at them to stop, no of them actually doing so.

“What?” a sharp turn was made by Hyuck.

The apology was burning inside you throat but never came out.

“ I think it’s time for you to go back to the dancing floor, princess. Wouldn’t want anyone to catch you slumming with the losers?”

This felt like a slap. Everything tonight was a mistake, You shouldn’t have come here in first place.

———————————•••———————————

From: The Dark <[email protected]>

To: Cemetery Girl <[email protected]>

Date: Friday,October 4 ; 10:04 PM

Subject: You owe me,Cemetry girl

I hope you are having better night than I am.

The cemetry is well of silence. It was dark but you could find the way to your mother’s gravestone even if you were blind.There was nothing really to do there especially this late.You just sat, thinking you could handle the very chilly weather but the more time was passing the colder you felt.

You are not completely sure how to answer The Dark’s email but eventually you started typing but you stopped as some raindrops landed on your screen.Cold pours down from the darkness. You ran towards the car, shivering and then you put the key ready to go home.

And then the car won’t start.

What.The.Hell

Beat this, The Dark.

You breath shuddered. You flipped every dial you saw, killing everything.Then you inserted the key and gave the ignition a try again.

The car gives a pathetic rum-rum-rum sound but then flares to life.Victory! You kept both your hands on the wheel and peer into the darkness But a loud clunk sounded from beneath the car then the vehicle lurched sideways and began to spin.All you could see was darkness.

Help me, Mom.

It took you a while to unwrap your fingers from the steering wheel and then you noticed that your entire left tire is gone. You tried calling your dad.Three times but he doesn’t pick up. Then you called Mina.Straight to voice mail. You had no choise so you clicked the mailing app and told everything The Dark about you night.

He replies almost immediately trough chat.

The Dark: Are you OK? Cemetery Girl: That depends how broadly you are defining OK.

The Dark: Seriously. Please tell me you are not standing on the side of the road.

Cemetery Girl: I am in the car and the doors are locked.

The Dark: I am still in school. Do you want help?I can come to you.

Oh my God.

You didn’t know how to answer on such a thing. Did you want to see him? Defenetly. But you really liked is as it was.Anonymous. But you were desparate and stuck of the middle of nowhere.

Cemetery Girl: Yes.Please come and help me.

———————————•••———————————

Inbox: No new updates.

It’s been almost twenty minutes since you last messaged him. Where is he? Did he saw you from far and got disappointed ? You were already overthing what could have happened. The headlights had gone dim for minutes ago, which must be a sign the battery is getting ready to give up. Before you realise you were sobbing in your hands.You don’t stop the tears.

Knuckles rapped on your window. You gasped and jerked your hands down.There was a guy beside your car.

He’s here! Oh,he’s here! Thanks, God.

But then your vison started to clear. It’s not The Dark. It’s Lee Donghyuck.

/ 'Cause I've been lookin' at you since half past two/

‘‘Are you broken down?” he said loudly.

‘‘No, I’m fine.” you yelled back.

He didn’t particularly believed you.

‘‘Did your tire blow out? I saw the rubber on the road’.‘

‘‘I’ve already called s-someone.And he should be here any m-minute.”

‘‘So you don’t want my help?’‘ his eyes went darker.

‘‘No, I’m fine’‘ you suck a shaky breath through your teeth.

He looked up at you,standing there in the rain.

‘‘Suit yourself’‘ he swang your door and turned away.

You had two options. to sit there all night,shaking and freezing OR asking Donghyuck for help.

Damn it.

‘‘Wait!’‘

He turned to you and just stared.

‘‘Is your battery dead?” he said after a minute.

‘‘Yes, I haven’t replaced for a long time.’’

‘‘Shoking.’‘he jerked his head towards the car.’‘ Come and sit in my car, so you can warm up.’’

And so you did.

You expected his car to smell like cigarettes and to be some kind of miserable but it’s totally the opposite. It’s clean and smelled nice and it was kind of cosy? He slided into the driver’s seat and started the engine and than you let your your body welcome the warm feeling. You both sit in silence for the longest time untill he spoke up.

“Are you afraid of me?” for the first time his eyes weren’t as cold as ice , instead they were soft and unexpectidly beautiful. You just stood up there, thinking of possible answer.

“If I say yes, are you going to use it against me?”

“No” his voice was even.

“Then yes,a little.’’

/ Wanna take this downtown?/

He didn’t say anything. Silence,again.

“What happened? Why are you wet and how long have you been waiting?”

“I still don’t know this whole time I was trying to figure out what’s going on.”

“From the look of your tires, you are luck it wasn’t all four.”

“You are kidding. I was so busy memorizing the latest copy of Car and Driver before showing up at the Homecoming!”

He looked amused.

“You are kinda funny when you are not so busy being judgmental.”

/ This liquid courage got me way too honest/

Everything about him was so unexpected. He’so prickly and then he’ll startle you with words that sound dangerously close to concern. You watch him in silence fixing somethings in your car and when he was ready he told you he’d follow you home so he is sure you were okay and you couldn’t even say “thank you” because he never stopped as you reached your house.

From: Cemetery girl <[email protected]>

To: The Dark <[email protected]>

Date: Friday,October 4 ; 11:32 PM

Subject: Home

I wanted to let you know that I made it home safely. I hope you are okay.

By the morning the rain had moved out,leaving the temperature even colder.

From:The Dark <[email protected]>

To: Cemetery girl <[email protected]>

Date: Saturday,October 5 ; 01:06 AM

Subject: Tonight

I’m sorry I was late tonight, I had to drop a friend off first. He was flipping out about curfew. By the time I came to you, you were already gone. But if I’m honest, I’m glad we haven’t met yet.

———————————•••———————————

“Tell me again how he kissed you!” you said,smilling widly.” You must have left out some detail.”

Mina giggled and blushed. Then she started telling you the story again.

“Look. There is Hyuck’s weird friend.”

You followed her gaze and saw Mark, back in his hoodie. You hezitated for a moment but you went for it.

“Hi,Mark!”

He looked up in a surprise and almost seems to shrink into himself untill he located you,waving at him and his whole frame relaxes and he changes his course across the stree and up into Mina’s driveway.

“Hey.” he said.’’How’s your car?”

DongHyuck must’ve told him about yesterday.

‘‘It’s okay.My dad let me trade yard work for new tires and a battery.’‘

‘‘Your dad sounds like a nice guy.’‘ his eyebrows go up.

‘‘He is.’‘

‘‘ I’m glad you got you car taken care of. Hyuck said it was in pretty bad shape.’‘

‘‘It was...and tell him thanks.No one else stopped.’‘

Mark’s expression leaked out some tension but he nodded once.

‘‘I will.’‘

‘‘Come one Y/N’‘ said Mina.’‘We need to go inside for dinner.’‘

‘‘One sec,’‘ you said but when you turned Mark was on the sidewalk,moving away,heading home.

After Mina fell asleep you decided to write an email to The Dark to tell him about Lee Donghyuck because if he didn’t help you, you honestly did’t what could’ve happened.

———————————•••————————

During one of the breaks between the classes you were hanging out with Mina in the yard of the school.

“I have to go to the homeroom,” you said. “ I don’t need another detention.”

“Okay,see ya.”

You ended up in the path of Lee Donghyuck. You considered ducking away and losing yourself in the ocean of students, until you realised that he seemed to be considering the same thing.

“Hey.” you said.

“Hey.” His voice was quieter than you expected. You knew you were going to be late, but for a heartbeat, you didn’t want to move.

/ Be as quiet as you can, 'cause if anyone sees,they'll just blow shit up/

A breathless Mina caught your arm. “Y/N, what are you doing?” Her eyes flick dismissievely at Donghyuck. “I thought you didn’t want to be late.”

“Just a second.” you looked at her in a begging way and she let you arm free but when you turned Donghyuck was already gone.

It was absolutely killing you that you didn’t know who The Dark is. You could’ve just ask him who he is but you didn’t if you were ready for that. Maybe the mystery us part of what’s so attractive about him. Maybe you’d meet him and he’d be horrible.

He wouldn’t be. You just knew it. You found him fascinating.

———————————•••——————————

The parking lot is only half full by the time you left the building. The only cars left are students with sport or club obligations, of which you had none.

Oh, and Mark and Donghyuck.

There were standing behind Hyuck’s car ,leaning on the tailgate and Donghyuck has a cigarette between his lips. You didn’t really anticipate seeing them right now but you didn’t have a choise.

“Stalker much?” Donghyuck calls, but his voice isn’t cruel, he is teasing?

/ No one's gotta know, just us and the moon 'til the sun starts wakin up/

“You know you are not allowed to smoke on school property.” He took another drag and blowed smoke rings.

“You seem to be awfully concerned about my smoking habbit.”

“ I hate it. It’s disgusting.”

The words came out of your mouth before you really considered them. Donghyuck looked startled , and he tosses the cigarette on the ground and stoomped it out.

“Sorry I didn’t know.”

He could sprout wings and you’d have been less shocked right now.

“Thank you, I hate them too” Mark made a small clap.

“Stup up,Mark.By the way should we go?”

“Yeah,maybe”

“Where are you going?” you didn’t even know why you were asking them.

“ At my place,” said Mark.” Wanna come?”

‘‘Scared?’‘ taunted Hyuck,his eyes challenging.

‘‘Not at all,’You lied.’‘ Let’s go.’‘

———————————•••————————

Mark’s house was like a mirror image of Mina’s.Nothing about it is surprising.Mark said his mother would be working for the afternoon. She had a bright,welcoming smile,radiating so much warmth that I felt lucky to be invited inside. Then we went downstairs.

‘‘Do you want something to drink?”

You inhaled to asnwer- but your throat caught.Being in the pressence of a loving mother remended you of how much you’ve lost,Your brain locked up as a grief tangled up the gears inside your had.

You haven’t visited her for days.

Guilt punched you in the chest. It became worse when his mother same downstairs with a plate. You had to turn, inhaling deeply,bliking your tears away. Your body felt like it was on a hair trigger. You needed to get it together. You cannot have a panic attack when somebody asked you if you wanted a drink.

‘‘You are okay.’‘ You heard a voice beside you. Hyuck was there with his voice all soft that you’ve never heard of it. You blikned uo at him.

/ Wizard with words tellin' me my energy's so bewitchin' /

‘‘You are okay’‘ he said again.

You liked that, how he was so sure.Not Are you okay? No question about it.

‘‘How did you know?’‘ you slowly turned to face him.

He pursed his lips as if he was hesitating.

‘‘ I know...the signs.’‘

‘‘I’m going to get some sodas,’‘ said Mark.’‘ I’m going to bring you one.Blink once if that’s okay.’‘

You smiled, but it felt watery around the edges.He was teasing you, but it was a gentle teasing. Friendly. You blinked once.

This was okay. You were okay.Donghyuck was right.

‘‘Take it out on the punching bag’‘ said Hyuck after Mark went upstairs.

‘‘Really?’‘ your eyes went wide.

You weren’t a violent person.but hitting something sounded really good. You drew back a hand and swing,throwing your whole body into it.

Ow.

‘‘Whoa...,’‘ a hand caught your arm’‘ I don’t want to be sexist but I didn’t expect you throw a punch like that. For a moment I was worried you’d break your wrist.’‘

This whole moment with Hyuck was meaningful and you wanted to see more of that side of him.

/ So I'll go first, there's an open bar, let's close this distance /

Then his phone rang.

‘‘It’s my stepfather,’‘ he seemed hesitant to pick up.’‘ I don’t really get on well with him.’‘ But he did pick up.’‘ What happened?’‘ he seemed worried.’‘ I don’t care Alan,I’m coming.’‘

Mark was coming down the stairs when he saw his best friend leaving.

‘‘What happened?” asked Mark.

‘‘My mom collapsed while making dinner, I’m going to the hospital.’‘

Soon after Donghyuck left you excused myself and went back home.

———————————•••————————

From:The Dark <[email protected]>

To: Cemetery girl <[email protected]>

Date: Monday,October 7 ; 10:22 PM

Subject: Story Time

Marrige laws are funny. If you want to get married, you can go down to the courthous , sign a few papers,and be married in less than 15 minutes.But if you want to get divorces,you have to wait a year.Even if your husband is in prison. A dumb part thought Mom would wait Dad’s 10 years of sentence. To my know ledge she never visited him either, and I can understand her, he killed her child afterall.

After the first year my mum started dating. no one really lasted long until numer six.He tried to win me over and of course I didin’t let him and since then he hates me up to this day. How should I be grateful that yet another guy was swooping in to ruin my mother’s life?

Sometimes i wished I had died in the car with my sister. They got married last May. And now my mom is pregnant.

You were sitting in the dark,staring at his email and your heart is pounding like crazy. I sense that ‘’Congratulations’’ isn’t the right thing to say. You wanted to ask him more but he probably wan’t in the mood right now. Then something hit you. Donghyuck and The Dark were very similar. They both had stepfathers that they didn’t get along with shared an atittude. But if Donghyuck was The Dark why didn’t he tell you in the night of Homecoming? Also you’ve never heard Donghyuck mention a sister but then again, you haven’t mentioned your mother in front of him.

If The Dark is Donghyuck, is it a good thing? you could still hear the rasp in his voice. You are okay.

Then another thought tamped your heart down. If this isn’t Lee Donghyuck, what would that mean?

———————————•••———————————

From: Cemetery girl <[email protected]>

To: The Dark <[email protected]>

Date: Tuesday,October 8 ; 6:24 PM

Subject: Mothers

My mom was always on assignment ,so we never really had the opportunity to have a ‘’girls talk’’ althought I could’ve emailed her. When I was younger she encouraged me to send her letters, Most of the times a letter with a lot of foreign stamps was the highlight of the week. But in my letters,sometimes I lied.Her letters were full of grand advantures and she had photographs to prove every single one of them. ‘’Ian is sending me to Malaysia this week’’ or ‘’I’m going to be a few more days in Iran, Ian wants me to get some shots of those protests.’’ Ian is her editor. So I’d lie, like I’d tell her a photo of mine got and award from the city council and thinhs like this.Anything that could grab her attention. But know all of this was meaningless. I wish I’d just told her the truth. And now I lost her. So talk to your mother and tell her how you feel.

———————————•••———————————

Mina had to skip lunch becuase of her french teacher and you went to Donghyuck and Mark’s table.

‘‘Would you like to join us?’asked Donghyuck.

‘‘I will, thanks.’‘ you sat next to Mark.’’ Woah,Mark what’s all this?’’

‘‘Mom’s obsession.She always packs up enought to feed an army.Here,help yourself’‘ he pushed a small plastic (sorry!) plate to you,full of caprese salad.

You felt Donghyuck’s heave glare on you.

‘‘How’s your mother?’‘

‘‘She’s coming home this afternoon and what they are telling me is that it was just a dehydration.’‘

‘‘So you are seeing her today?’‘

“‘Maybe, I have a community service on Tuesday nights?’‘

Oh, you were curious.

‘‘What’s it like?’‘

‘‘I ride a lawn mover.’‘

‘‘And how long do you have to do it?’‘

‘‘Probably forever”

“90 hours’‘ corrected him Mark.

‘‘Is it okay if I ask you if they put you in jail for you know?’‘ you asked hesitantly.

‘‘Yes.’‘

‘‘Was it scary?’‘

‘‘Yes. I was there two nights.’‘

‘‘Your mom left you there?” your eyebrows went up.

‘‘Yes, maybe Alone made her. No one really bothered to get me out but whatever?’‘

You felt some tension in the air.

‘‘Can I say something?’‘ Mark spoke ,visibly trying to surpress feelings.’‘ Hyuck do even hear yourself sometimes? No one bothered to get you out? I would have gotten you out, my mum but you deicded to stay in a jail cell and pity yourself,calling no one,acting like a martyr.’‘

Hyuck’s hands tightened on the edge of the table.’’What’s your problem?”

‘‘You made choises to be there,so stop acting like such a damn victim.May twenty-fifth was one day.There are three hundred sixty-four ones.”“

‘‘I am the victim?” Hyuck looked like a thunder.’‘Who’s the one hiding in hoodies when it’s eighty degrees outside?’‘

I am frozen in place,my mind repeating that one sentence,my heart tripping along.It takes my a moment to get my voice to speak up but you achieved to whisper.

“What’s May twenty-fifth?’‘ you demanded.

‘‘The day I wrecked my father’s truck’‘ Donghyuck swalloed.

‘‘The day you got drunk? The day you crashed into a building? The day you barely remember?’‘ You were screaming,yet you couldn’t catch your breath. He doesn’t utter a word. The room started spinning. A hand cathes my my arm ‘‘ Y/N, Y/N’‘ a familiar male voice is speaking to me but my vision is not working properly.

May 25. The day my mother died in a hot-and-run crash.

———————————•••———————————

From: Cemetery girl <[email protected]>

To: The Dark <[email protected]>

Date: Tuesday,October 8 ; 3:28 PM

Subject: I need to know

Are you Lee Donghyuck? If you are, I don’t know if I can ever talk to you again.

———————————•••———————————

Your dad knocked on your door and you were so tempted to pretend you were sleeping but you call him to enter the bedroom.

‘‘Do you feel like company?’‘

No, you felt like crawling under you bed and sleeping there until you die.

‘‘No, Dad, I’m really tired.’‘

‘‘Okay then, I will tell them to leave.”

Them?

Your first thoughts are Hyuck and Mark and your heart skipped to quadruple time. ‘’Wait! Someone is here?’’

‘‘Yeah, Mina and some boy Henry...?

‘‘Hendery.Can you send them up?’’

‘‘Darn,we are coming in,’‘ Mina yelled from somewhere downstairs.’‘ You can ignore my calls, but you can’t ignore Nachos BellGrande.’‘

They showed up in your room,looking like they have just stepped out of a novel, an angel and a hipster sidekick. Your phone lit up suddenly.

The Dark: What happened are you okay? Cemetery Girl: I’m okay,Friends are over. Will write back latter.

‘‘So what was all this about?’‘ asked Mina.

You inhaled slowly.

‘‘Lee Donghyuck wrecked his car on the same night my mom was killed. That’s why I got so upset . I thought that maybe he can be involved because he was drunk and he blacked out.”

Mina stopped eating with a chip halfway to her mouth.

‘‘ I haven’‘t talked to anyone.I don’t know what to d-.’‘

‘‘Do you have a computer?’‘ asked Hendery.’‘ I could look it up.’‘

‘‘How?’‘you straightened.

‘‘I have the password to the local beat crime feed.From my internalship.We could see the both cases and the details.’‘

It doen’t take Hendery long to log on to the system.

‘‘Date?” he looked up at you.

Your mouth went dry. Could this be happening?

‘‘M-May twenty-fifth.’‘

He quickly tapped at the keys, then frowned at the screen.’’ I see hit-and-run report,but the victim’s last names as Wong and Kim. Who are they?

‘‘Maybe the drivers.She was taking a taxi home from the airport. Wong would have been the driver.’‘ You whispered.

Mina took your hand.

‘‘The accident took place on Hammonds Ferry Road, that’s weird because it isn’t on the way to the airport.I mean it’s not far but still.’‘

That’s really weird.

‘‘There is nothing really much more about this case.Let’s see that loser’s police report,and we’ll see if anything mathes up.’’

He is not a loser.You almost said it outloud.

Hendery was tyoing something when he said.’’ I don’t know if this is good or bad thing.’’

Just tell me please.

‘‘It’s not him.’‘

You were so relieved.’’ Just turn it off,okay? ‘’ And so did Hendery.

‘‘Is that your mothe’s gear?” Asked Hendery,nodding at a pile in the corner.

‘‘Yeah, her editor is trying to get it from us...-’‘

‘‘Did the cops search her memory cards? Like what if your mum was able to take a picture of the vehicle?

Your breath hitched.’’Do you think that’s possible?’’

‘‘I don’t see why not.’‘ answered Hendery,reaching for a bite of his taco. Then he looked at you a litle worried,as if he is afraid to say the next thing.

‘‘Say it,don’t worry.’‘

‘‘So, it’s written she died from internal bleeding,probably from the seatbelt. So there might have been time ,especially if she had her wits with her.’‘

Holy crap.

You picked up her digital camera but Hendery took it away from you,making things easier. He slided the cards free and then returned to the computer.When the program loaded you had the chance to see youe mother’s talent once again.All the photos were amazing just like always. But there was nothing connected to the crash.

‘‘Did she have more cameras?’‘ asked Hendery.

‘‘Just two cheap back-ups.’‘

‘‘What’s that?’‘ Mina pointed to where light glinted off a lens,poking from a canvas back.

‘‘Ít’s her film camera but we don’t have a dark room.’‘

‘‘But Mr.Geradi does.Do you want me to take it. I can develop it if you want?’‘

‘‘No’‘ you shook your head.’‘That’s her pictures.I want to do it.’‘

‘‘Okay’‘

You look up,inhaling deeply. ‘’Thank you guys for coming over.’’

———————————•••———————————

Cemetery Girl: I’m okay,False awarm. The Dark: What’s with the false alarm? Cemetery Girl: Lee Donghyuck didn’t do what I thought he did. The Dark; What did you think he did? Cemetery Girl: He got drunk and wrecked his car on the same night my mom died.I was worried he was involved somehow. The Dark: And he is not? Cemetery Girl: No.

Some minutes passed before he asnwered.

The Dark: How do you know? Cemetery Girl: My bestfreind’s boyfriend did an internership in a newsroom over the summer.He still has access to their crime beat database.He looked both cases up and the times don’t match.Mom died before he even got in his car. The Dark: Are you okay? Cemetery Girl: I don’t know what I am. Anyways did you talk to your mother? The Dark: No.Because I got home late from work, and my stepfather was practically standing sentry outside her door. Cemetery Girl: And you can’t tell him you want to talk to her? The Dark: It’s complicated. Cemetery Girl: It’s only as complicated as you make it. The Dark: Well, I guess I’m good at making things as complicated as possible.

/ So pick your poison, love, let's go somewhere a little more exclusive /

And with that he ended the conversation.

———————————•••———————————

From: Cemetery girl <[email protected]>

To: The Dark <[email protected]>

Date: Tuesday,October 8 ; 11:45 PM

Subject: What happened?

If I upset you, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.Please don’t stop talking to me.

———————————•••———————————

From:The Dark <[email protected]>

To: Cemetery girl <[email protected]>

Date: Wednesday,October 9 ; 07:22 AM

Subject: Talking

I don’t think I can do this anymore. You know nothing about me,nothing about the real me.You only know what I’ve shared,,only a snapshot and you’ve made a judgment of me , based on the little you’ve seen, and I think it’s all wrong.

I’m not a good person,Cememtery Girl.

You don’t need me.

You deserve better.

/ Tension so intense like an asteroid /

You quickly closed the email and went to the chatlist but there was no green light- his name had disappeared entirely.

WHAT.

You tried to type a email to him but the immeadiate respond wasn’t what you were expecting.

This user does not have a Freemail account.Please try again.

He couldn’t do this. Your chest was collapsing,and you started shaking.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” asked Mr.Gegardi. Your mom’s canvas bag with her film camerawas lying in the pile beside you,while you were trying to make your heart beat again.

‘‘Yeah,’‘ You cought.’‘I’m fine. But I came here to ask something.’‘ Mr.Gegardi nodded at you to continue,’‘Can I use the Dark Room?’ I know how to do it.”

Mr.Gegardi nodded once again.’‘ I am pretty sure you can.’’

Your heart was beating so fast that your chest ached.

‘‘Do you know what’s on the film’?”

‘‘Not really,maybe some graphic war zone shots,or they could be anything’‘

‘‘Oh’‘ he continued nodding while pouring chemicals.’’So this is your mother’s film?’‘

‘‘Yeah’‘

He set the bottles down and turned to face me fully.’‘ Do you want to start from the end? Like maybe the last 5 shots?’‘

‘‘Um.Sure’‘ your heart was still jumping around.

He cut the film and holded it up to the strip but it was impossible to tell what might have been on it in that moment.You put the strip into the enlarger,shined it onto the paper,then floated the paper in chemicals to bring the images out.

‘‘I could be wrong, but I don’t think these shots involve a car. It looks more like a person.’‘ said your teacher.

Maybe it was the person who hit her! Maybe she did take a picture of them!

‘‘Mr.Grgardi can I finish developing them alone?’‘

He seemed to hesitate for a moment but then he sighs.’‘Okay,I will walk down to the teacher’s room to get a coffee’‘

You nodded and looked down, the images were becoming clearer.And then you are alone.

The images had processed.

You blinked.And then you blinked again.

It’s my mother on the photos.Smilling.

Naked.

An arm covers one breast,but the other is unashamedly bare.

You stopped breathing.

The next tray developed.Another one of my mother,still naked ,a tangle of arms ,a blurred neck,some dark hairand the edge of a jaw.

The tears went cold on your cheeks.

These features are not my father’s.

The next tray..This one caught them both.You seized the picture with your hands.

It’s Ian.Mom’s editor.He is shirtless,holding her against him.

You thought of your father for the past mounths.She was cheating on him.Cheating.

It felt like she was cheating on you too.How could she? You stood there,sobbing into your hands. You see something else. Her boardng pass,laying on the ground, probably it had fallen from the bag.

Right there the boarding pass was a wet mess but the date was in huge letters, right in the middle.

WEDS MAY 22.

Wait.

You blinked a few times,as if your tears had somehow turned ‘‘SAT’‘ into ‘‘WED’‘ or ‘‘25′‘ into ‘‘22′‘.

Your breath hitched again. Three days ealier than we expected her.Three days before she died.

All of a sudden Hendery’s voice echoed in your head.

‘‘Hummonds Ferry Road isn’t on the way to the airport’.‘

She came home early,exactly like you’d begged her to do.She came home three days early. Just not to be with you.

———————————•••———————————

You were running. And you couldn’t stop. You were out of your mind.You reached the cemetry and ran even fast to reach that gravestone.You were screaming. You fell into the rough grass and started punching the gravestone really hard. You saw your fingers were bleeding but you didn’t care.You were furious. Tears were streaking down to your face and you didn’t understand exactly what you were screaming but you punched the gravestone again.

Then something happened. Someone grabbed you,pulling you against them.Instead of fighting,you collapsed against the persone,sobbing into their chest.

‘‘It’s okay’‘ he whisperes and you know exactly who he is.’’Do you wanna sit down?’‘ he asked you.

‘‘Not near her.’‘ you both sat a few yards back to an old gravestone.

You leaned into him and after a while he asked.

‘‘Do you wanna talk about it?’‘

‘‘No’‘

He brushed a strand of your hair awat from your eyes and then you lose it.

‘‘She was cheating’‘ you whisper.

‘‘What?’‘

‘‘She was cheating.On me father.She came three days earlier than we thought.I developed the photos in her film camera. They were shots of her ans her editor in the bed’‘

His eyebrows practically hit his hairline.’’Wow’‘

You grasped your hair.’‘Gosh, what am i’m going to tell dad.’‘

‘‘Do you have to tell him anythng?’‘

‘‘I don’t know.’‘

Silence fell for a while.

‘‘‘How did you know I was here.” you asked him.

‘‘I didn’t.I saw you.I work here,sort of.’‘

‘‘Community service’‘ you whispered and he nodded.

‘‘Y/N!’‘ you saw your father running to you’‘ Y/N I was so worried. Your teacher told me you ran out leaving a mess, and we’ve been searching for you.’‘

You started crying once again.’‘I am so sorry’‘He was hugging you tightly and that was all you wanted in that moment.

‘‘It’s okay.’‘ your father patted you hair.’‘Let’s go home’‘

You saw how Donghyuck was making steps backwards , fetching his globes.

‘‘Wait!’‘ you pulled away from your father and once again you were standing ,breathless in front of Hyuck. You closed the distance and pull him over to whisper. ‘‘We were wrong. You make your own path.’‘

The spell is broken.

———————————•••———————————

When you got at home you and your father had a long talk. You told him what you knew and what shocked you was the fact that he knew it already.

‘‘Y/N , please don’t doubt your mather’s love, she loved you so much that she stayed with me.Your mother was just- a bit of a free spirit.’‘

‘‘How long did that go on?’‘

Your dad shruged.’‘ I don’t know.Forever,probably.But I didn’t know untill a few years ago.’‘

You continue the painful conversation and sadly you were really disappointed in her.

But you had your father.You threw yourself into his arms and it was the best feeling in the world.

———————————•••———————————

From: Lee Donghyuck <[email protected]>

To: Y/N Y/L/N <Y/N.Y/L/[email protected]>

Date: Wednesday,October 9, 10:27 PM

Subject: Making new paths

I thought i’d be spending the night at Mark’s tonight. I had a huge fight with Alan and mum in the morning.Forget making a path- this morning’s conversation was like aftermath of nuclear bomb. But Alan’s car broke down and I helped him fix it and we talked, we’ve never done this before.

It feels harder to write under my own name but here I am,not hidding anymore. I should have told you at the Homecoming night but I wasn’t ready to let go of what we had.

———————————•••———————————

From: Y/N Y/L/N <Y/N.Y/L/[email protected]>

To: Lee Donghyuck <[email protected]>

Date:Tuesday,October 10, 5:52AM

Subject: Letting go

I’m glad you never told me. I didn’t want to let go either. In fact I’m still kinda sad that It’s over. I keep thinking about our conversations and I probably will never stop.

There is a lot you don’t show the world,you know and I think you should.Give them a new snapshot.Show them what you showed me.

And on that note...what now?

———————————•••———————————

INBOX - Y/N Y/L/N

No new messages.

By lunchtime, he hasn’t writtien back. You had no idea what that means.Neither he nor Mark were in the cafeteria.

You were sitiing with Mina and Hendery who were feeding or kissing each other and it was hard for you to keep yourself from sighing heavily.

Then a denim-clad leg swung over the bench, and weight droped beside you. Somehow surprised,yet not at all, Donghyuck was straddling the bench.

‘‘Feel like taking a walk?’‘ he said and you nodded eargerly.

And then he surprised you by taking your hand and you went out in the school yeard.

‘‘You didn’t email.’‘ you started.

‘‘I wanted to talk to you.’‘ you hardly noticed the pink tint on his cheeks.’‘And now that I am not The Dark I don’t really know what to say.’‘

‘‘It’s okay’‘ you said softly.’‘We don’t have to talk’‘

He was thinking.

‘‘Wait,’‘he said.’‘I have an idea.’‘

He turned to you, and before you were ready for it,he moved close.Very close.So close that his cheek was against yours and one of his hands was on your neck.His breath tickled his ear.

‘‘Is this okay?’‘he whispered.

‘‘More than okay.’‘

His thumb brushed against your neck in a soothing rhythm.’‘I like you.’‘

‘‘I like you too.’‘

‘‘You were the first person to see all of me,Y/N. The first person to make me feel like this. The way you saw me as The Dark was worth more than a reputation and a record.I don’t know if anyone will ever see me the way you did.’‘

You drew back and put both of your hands on his cheeks.’‘I see all of you, and I’m looking at you that way now.”

He took your hand and put it on his heart and closed his heart.’‘You are killing me ,Y/N.”

“Look at me’‘ you teased.’‘You cannot mae your own path with your eyes closed.’‘

‘‘Watch me’‘ then he leaned and captured you mouth with his.

/as long as we keep it lowkey/

masterlist

———————————•••———————————

so hello guys! this is the first scenario,based on a book. I highly recommend ‘‘Letters to the Lost’‘ , 10/10. If you want to know how the book actually starts, or to see the things from Declan Murphy’s (Lee Donghyuck) POV and a lot of more interesting moments , you should definetely read it. Than you so much fore reading this! <3

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harrypotterandthefandomaccount · 5 years

Text

What I Got

request: Hi!! I'd like to say I whole heartedly enjoy all of your writings and was wondering if you could possibly make a snape x artist! reader! Maybe through out their years at Hogwarts they'd doodle in his class because they always finish their work quickly and did really well? He always hangs them up in his classroom and it makes the reader really flustered that he likes them ? Basically all the fluff in this one haha

Warning: none tbh, slight teacher x student if you squint, favoritism

Note: this was so cute to write :’))) I care so much for this teacher who I kinda “dedicated” this to lmao

You sat on your chair, leaning over the cauldron of you and Hermione’s potion. Currently in Potions class, you were brewing Wideye Potion. It was fairly simple, Snape deciding it was an easy day today. Hogwarts and everyone in it had started to run on low fuel, and considering it was Friday, everyone agreed it should be an easy day.

While Hermione and you finished, you leaned down and grabbed your notebook from your bag. Hermione giggled, “already?”

You hummed, “the ingredients seem to be in a different order today. Gives me something to draw for him.”

Hermione leaned over your shoulder as you began to shift your pencil over the paper, taking shape of the corner of Snape’s room where the ingredients were. “Are his pictures of you and him together not enough?” Hermione asked, making your face flush red.

You gave Hermione a glance, “I consider us besties.”

That being said, the young muggle let out a laugh but covered it with a cough. “I cannot believe you just called Severus Snape your bestie.”

As the words left her mouth, the both of you laughed together, realizing how hilarious the sentence itself sounded. Snape then made his way over to the desk as you continued sketching, “something funny over here?”

You giggled, “nothing, sir. Just talking about potions.”

Snape tilted his head, “never knew potions could be amusing, Miss L/N. . . a new drawing to add to my collection?”

Hermione nudged your arm as you showed him the simple sketch so far, “just something I noticed; your ingredients are on different shelves today.”

Snape nodded, “may I request?”

You sat there with a blank mind until Hermione answered for you, “of course, Professor! Anything from the artist herself!”

Snape let out a chuckle as he handed you his favorite photo of the both of you; it was at the Yule Ball last year, your 6th year at Hogwarts. You smiled, “it’ll be done by Monday, Professor Snape.”

Snape tapped the desk you and Hermione were sitting at, “looking forward to seeing the finished product.”

As the Professor walked away, Hermione smiled at you, “I never understood how you got him to adore you.”

You laughed, “well, I do my work, respectfully ask if I can do my work, and then I sometimes leave it here for him to look at. Eventually, he hung them up.”

Hermione seemed to enjoy the short story, having a small smile on her face as she listened. As classes ended for the day, you grabbed your books and the photo, heading to your commonroom. It was relatively quiet, everyone outside in the nice weather.

Lounging on the couch, you took out the photo Snape had given you from the Yule Ball. You had gone with Ron Weasley, you both having plenty of fun with the trio. During the night, you made it your mission to make some teachers dance.

One of those being Severus Snape.

The music was elegant and loud, conversations drowning in the sound. You had gotten done dancing with Hagrid, the dance floor making room for you two. Afterwards, you spotted your next victim.

With confidence, you skipped up to Snape, “care to dance, Professor?”

Dumbledore was standing beside Snape before he could say no, “go on, dance with the girl Severus.”

Snape hummed, “you have another year; you can wait.”

You wouldn’t give up, “bummer, looks like I won’t be able to draw for you anymore then.” You went to go walk away until Snape walked beside you, “you speak nothing of this.”

With a laugh, you both stood in the middle of the dancefloor, dancing with the tune of the orchestra. Your bodies swayed as his hand intertwined with yours, his other on your waist. At one point, he twirled you around and brought you back on, a laugh leaving your lips.

You both heard and saw the flash from a camera, looking towards Dumbledore who now held a photo of you and Snape dancing together. As the song ended, Snape grabbed the photo, allowing you to look over his shoulder.

You giggled, “we look good, Professor. Keep that.”

Snape looked down at you, “are you sure, Miss L/N? We can take another one.”

Shaking your head, you smiled at your professor, “don’t worry about it! We’re taking many more at graduation.”

Snape’s face seemed to drop at the mention of you leaving, “right, well, go have fun.”

With a laugh, you skipped back onto the dancefloor, joining your friends with a smile on your face.

As you looked at the photo while lounging, you got to work, focusing on Snape first and then you. He was a bit taller so you made sure that was evident, capturing his jawline and hair, including the way he looked at you.

Next was both of your bodies and the outfits. While it wasn’t colored, you added as much detail as you could see and remember. Facial features were then added, smiles from each of you evident.

Finishing with the background, you found your eyes getting glossy. You knew you didn’t want to leave Hogwarts – or the professors and friends. Just then, your housemates walked in, saying their “hellos” and “goodnights.”

With that, you gathered up your things and headed to Snape’s classroom, knocking a certain way. You heard a chuckle, “come in.”

You smiled at Snape, “hi Professor Snape. I have the finished product.”

The man gave a smile and closed his eyes, holding out his hands. You laughed, “child at heart.” You took the drawing and photo out of your book and put them in his hands.

Snape opened his eyes, looking at your drawing. He leaned back in his chair he sat in, “wow.”

You raised an eyebrow, “is it bad? I probably should have spent more time on it.”

He shook his head, “no! No, no. This is amazing, Y/N. Absolutely incredible.”

A sigh of relief left your body, “you scared me!”

Snape chuckled, “I’m definitely hanging this up.” He grabbed some sticky putty and made sure your drawing hung on the wall perfectly.

Turning around, Snape smiled at you as he handed you the original photo, “keep this. I can tell you’ve been crying.”

You scoffed, “I was not! My eyes were only glossy.”

Rolling his eyes, Snape replied, “just take the damn photo.”

“I’ll miss you next year,” you said, holding the photo of you two in your hands.

Snape shrugged, “I don’t miss students.”

You gasped, “hey!”

He laughed, “you know I’m kidding, you dunderhead. I’ll miss you too.”

With a smile, you looked over your drawings from your years at Hogwarts, “keep in touch?”

Snape nodded, “of course. How could I lose touch with my favorite artist?”

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porkchop-ao3 · 5 years

Text

A Thrill I’ve Never Known (Chapter 27)

Jemima Jones IV

Another con! This one with Micah. This chapter contains criminal activity and mature topics of conversation.

(All chapters tagged with #ATINK and also posted on Ao3, username PorkChop)

When I woke up, it was to Hosea's voice and gentle shaking of my shoulder. I'd fallen asleep in the chair by Arthur's bed, head cradled by my folded arms up against the nearest storage crate. I blearily lifted my head and blinked at my surroundings, momentarily confused. I remembered quickly, though, eyes immediately finding Arthur who was laying awake already, the morning sun pouring through the canvas of his tent.

"There she is, thought I was gonna have to toss a bucket of water. Out like a light, though I don't know how, that can't be comfortable," Hosea greeted me, gesturing to the twisted, hunched position I'd woken up in. I stretched and grunted, putting my spine back in the right order, it felt like.

"Sorry, I'm in the way," I noted, realising the man was here to check on Arthur.

I stood up and ambled past him, letting him sit down in my place.

"Surprised it ain't Grimshaw bustin' in here, putting you to work. It's late," Arthur said as Hosea gingerly pulled back his wound's dressing.

"It is?" I murmured guiltily. "I should start on my chores."

"She knows you're not slacking, I think a late start is perfectly acceptable given the circumstances," Hosea assured me, pressing the back of his hand to Arthur's forehead.

"You have my permission to milk this," Arthur said, and I snorted.

"I don't mind chores," I shrugged, watching as Hosea tilted Arthur's head up and felt around under his jaw, checking for swollen glands.

"Well, there's no sign of infection so far. How're you feeling?" He asked.

"'Bout as well as you'd expect."

"You're in pain, I imagine, but other than that?" Hosea clarified, gaining a one-shouldered shrug from Arthur. "Okay. Well, let us know if you start feeling unwell."

"Will do."

"We'll get you some food, you gotta eat to get your strength up," Hosea patted his forearm then stood up.

"I ain't hungry," Arthur grimaced. "Especially not for whatever Pearson's rustling up."

"I don't care. We'll make you some oatmeal."

"I'll slice up some apple to go in, to sweeten it up and make it taste of something," I added.

"I don't need no fuss, just leave me here to fester and I'm sure I'll surface in a couple weeks," Arthur grumbled. I sighed and walked over to him, leaning over his bed.

"Let us take care of you, Arthur. Everyone cares about you making a recovery," I told him softly. He blinked up at me, an unhappy crease in his forehead.

"Who'll still care when I need someone to stop me rolling into a ditch when I'm trying to take a damn piss?" He grumbled. My brows raised and I paused for a moment before shrugging.

"I'll help you," I said. Arthur snorted.

"Uh, no. You won't. I draw the line there," he hissed. I straightened up and nodded in acceptance.

"I'll do it. You go and make him that oatmeal," Hosea volunteered, patting my elbow and sending me on my way. "Come on, big guy."

I heard Arthur's groan of frustration as I left, and Hosea began helping him to his feet. I felt awful, seeing him so reliant on others when it was clear to me he was fiercely independent and did not like to trouble those he cared about. I wished he would see that he wasn't putting anyone out. He was injured, and we wanted to help.

I prepared his oatmeal and brought it to him, he was pleased that he didn't need it feeding to him, because once he was propped up on some pillows he could use his good arm to feed himself. He waved me off to go about my day, though I felt reluctant to leave him alone in his tent. I did notice other members of the gang going in and keeping him company every now and then, though, notably Charles, John and Javier. Dutch too, of course, as well as the girls. They brought him books to read and candy to lift his spirits. Jack had visited with Abigail, and I was standing close enough that I could hear his curious questions and Arthur's sweet patience in answering them. Even the one asking whether he could see through the hole in his shoulder. I was pretty sure I'd seen everyone at least poke their head into the tent to ask how he was feeling. Even Micah.

A week or so passed and he was slowly getting better, more mobile. He was still confined to his bed for the most part, mainly under the orders of Hosea who insisted he take it easy and avoid unnecessary strain. I kept Arthur company most evenings, sometimes falling asleep in his tent, but whenever he caught me dozing before he fell asleep he'd send me to my bedroll. In the daytime, sometimes he'd venture out of the tent to stretch his legs and keep from going completely mad, but he'd lost a fair amount of blood and taken quite a beating and he tired easily, so his walks were short and few.

I hadn't left camp since my trip into town to get those supplies for Arthur, and I felt stir-crazy, not used to being in the same place without a change of scenery. I spared a lot of thoughts for Arthur at that, wondering if he felt the same way. I had been doing general chores around camp to do my bit, but I certainly felt ready for something different halfway through the second week of such routine. So, when Micah approached me one afternoon when I was sat by Arthur doing some sewing, I was inclined to agree with whatever scheme he had cooking up.

"Reckon I could pull you away from the resident colander for a few hours?" He'd greeted us, gaining a stern look from myself and complete ignorance from Arthur.

"Depends, it gonna get me out of here?" I replied.

"Of course. I've been itching for another one of our jobs, we always work so well together, you and I," he touted, voice a praising drawl.

"What did you have in mind?" I asked, seeing Arthur's chest rise in a heavy breath from the corner of my eye. I glanced at him, and he was just staring at the top of the tent from his reclined position in bed. I realised how rude it was to discuss getting out of camp while Arthur had no option to do so, so I quickly rose to my feet, leaving my sewing on the table next to me.

"Well, actually–"

"We should leave Arthur in peace," I quickly interjected, giving Arthur a nod and a smile before I left. He just watched me go with an expression I couldn't read.

As we walked away, Micah continued, "I was thinking we could go to the Parlour House, pull a little something like you did with John."

"Yeah? Like what?" I asked. He stopped walking and turned to face me head on, an impish smile on his face. I stared blankly for a moment, then cocked my brow. "Oh, you want me to think of something?"

"You have such a way with these things," he flattered me, putting his hands on my upper arms and giving them an encouraging squeeze.

I brought my hand up to my mouth, idly running my fingers across my lips in thought. Micah's tongue peeked out, brushing against the bristles of his moustache at the corner of his mouth as he stared at me expectantly. I shrugged his hands off of me, a frown forming on my face.

"Give me a second, I hate being put on the spot," I grumbled, eyes flittering around the camp for a source of inspiration, as if the perfect plan would jump out at me from the sight of Molly preening in the mirror, or Charles constructing fire arrows, or Swanson tripping over his own feet as he stumbled by, singing a loud, slurred song.

My lips curved into a smile when magically, an idea did emerge at the glint of light bouncing off a beer bottle in Uncle's hand.

Gathering the materials for the con was easy enough. I found an empty box in one of the wagons and asked around for any pretty gift bags; which Molly could provide. I asked Uncle to drain his beer, wrapped the bottle in a piece of cloth and swung it against the ground so it shattered. Finally, I poured the broken glass into the box, sealed it up, and put it away in the gift bag; all the while, Micah followed me around camp, curious and confused, but quiet.

"Train station," I said to Micah once the prop was ready and he gave me a quizzical look. "It's better than the Parlour House, plus I don't wanna seem suspicious, in case anyone saw what I did last time."

"Sure, you gonna explain what we're doing?" He cocked a brow.

"On the way," I smirked, then padded off to dress in something a little prettier; corset, petticoat and all, with a few pieces of borrowed jewellery too.

We arrived by horseback at the train station and I'd brought Micah up to speed. He'd laughed at my plan, not out of malice but because he thought it was brilliant. We were sat in the train station, waiting for the right time to strike. We needed someone who looked like they had money, of course, and with the town being close to Saint Denis, I was sure we'd find someone suitable passing through the station.

I left it to Micah to pick the mark, he sat by me, watching the doors behind us and preparing to give the signal for me to move. It was a simple plan, neat and tidy how I liked them with little room for things to go wrong, relying on acting skills. I was sitting in my finest clothes with the gift bag on my lap and my back to the doors, even Micah had dressed up a little sharper than usual just to add to the believability of our job. I was well rehearsed, having pulled a similar job on my own before I'd joined the gang, excited anticipation twisted in my stomach and made me feel just a little bit sick.

Micah's knee suddenly bumped against mine; it was show time. Without so much as a pause I suddenly rose to my feet, turning to step out from the end of the bench without a glance back. There was a thump and a crash, of course, the pretty gift bag hitting the ground just a second after a body collided with my own. I stumbled for effect, crying out as I tumbled onto my side, hip hitting the floor, limbs sprawling out and making one heck of a scene. Heads turned, the man who'd bumped into me froze, eyes widening and a number of emotions passing across his face. Shock, confusion, annoyance.

"Watch where you're damn well going, woman!" He yelled at me, not giving a fig about the fact I was laying on the floor. Ah, well at least I didn't have robbing a kind gentleman on my conscience.

I winced, shifting onto my other side and rubbing at my hip, then froze, eyes settling on my bag.

"No!" I shouted, moving quickly to grab the bag, making sure that everyone could hear the tinkling of broken glass as I moved it.

"Angel, are you alright?" Micah was quick to jump into action, crouching down next to me and putting his hand on my shoulder.

"I'm… I'm fine. I'll probably have a bruise but I'll live. That's more than I can say for my gift," I told him sadly, holding the bag up to him. Micah's head swivelled to the man.

"Don't just stand there, you moron!" He spat, shaming the man into reaching out, taking my elbow in his hand and working with Micah to help me back to my feet.

"I didn't even get to open it!" I bemoaned, staring down at the bag in my hands.

"Oh… oh, I'm sorry, angel. These things happen, maybe we can, uh, buy you a new one," Micah said, his tone edged with nervousness. "Just sit yourself down, dear, that was a nasty fall."

Micah guided me into my seat, as everyone stared, gawping. The mark fidgeted in his spot, cheeks reddening as people scowled and tutted at him.

"You, uh, you alright, ma'am?" He asked awkwardly. I kept my head down, turning away just a bit as if to pretend he wasn't there.

"You just yelled at the poor girl, leave her be, let's you and I just have a little chat," Micah grumbled at him, taking the bag from me and shoving the guy's shoulder to get him moving in the opposite direction.

Despite him being on the other side of the room, I could hear every word from Micah's mouth. He wasn't concerned about being quiet, the more onlookers the better.

"You any idea how much this thing cost? How long I scrimped and saved to straggle together enough cash to make my lady's birthday a special one?" He began, shaking the rattly bag for effect.

"Hey, she stood up right in fr–"

"Don't you for one second think about blaming her for this. Be a man! Take responsibility!" He snapped his interruption then gave a heavy sigh. "She's been wanting it for weeks, it's this pretty little vase from this place in Saint Denis…"

"Are you alright, miss?" A gentleman nearby asked, distracting me from my eavesdropping.

"Oh, yes, I'll be fine. Thank you, sir," I said, disappointment seeping into my tone. "Today had been so special, this is all such a shame!"

"It's your birthday?" He asked, and I nodded. The man glanced over at Micah, then rose to his feet. "I'll go see if I can lend a hand, see if we can talk some sense into that man. I heard the way he yelled at you, that's no way to speak to a lady; 'specially not one just been knocked over."

My lips parted and I watched him walk over to join Micah, giving his two cents and urging the mark to cough up some cash to go towards a new vase. I had not been expecting that. Soon enough, another feller joined in. I almost felt guilty, but this was what we did. This was how we made money! The mark looked plenty rich enough, in an expensive looking suit, a gold ring on almost every finger. The attention he'd drawn had him pulling out a billfold and pushing it into Micah's eager hand with an angry hiss of acceptance, before he was storming out of the station muttering about not being able to miss his train.

Micah pocketed the cash, uttering his thanks to the other men who'd stepped in before he was gliding on over to me, a smile threatening to lift his moustache. He held his hand out to me and I took it, he helped me up, dusting his lips across the back of my knuckles in a way I'd have to have words with him about.

"My lady, I'm sorry about all that. Tomorrow I will go and get a replacement for your gift, for now, perhaps you'd like to get out of here and get a drink with me, take some of the edge off such a stressful situation?" He suggested. I smiled, giving a small curtsy.

"Perhaps," I nodded. Micah straightened up, guiding me from the station with a hand on the small of my back.

"I cannot believe that man stepped in to help you," I was saying to Micah, sat upstairs out on the balcony of Rhodes Parlour House, over a bottle of beer.

"What a sucker," he chuckled.

"Poor man. He had no idea what he was doing," I shook my head, biting my lip.

"I almost lost it right there, you're lucky I never laughed, missy," he teased.

"How much did you get?" I asked, leaning forwards, elbows on the table. He leaned forwards too, smirking.

"Sixty. Not too bad for free money, huh?"

"Not bad at all," I agreed, brushing my fingers up and down the side of my beer bottle idly.

"How's your hip? You hit the floor pretty hard there," he asked, eyes dipping down my body though the table was blocking his view.

"A little sore, actually, never meant to act that part out so well," I admitted with a snort.

"Well, I guess it earned you a few sympathy points. And no one can say you aren't committed to your role, you did good, darlin'," he drawled, sipping his beer and licking his lips as he locked his eyes on mine.

"I think I may have found my calling; I should be joining the theatre," I laughed.

"No, no, you're staying with us. You're far too valuable an asset," he told me, and I gave an awkward huff at the flattery. "I'm serious, you've brought in a decent sum of cash since you've been rolling with us, I like your attitude."

I shrugged my shoulders, "I just do what I can. I owe my life to the gang, I don't wanna be a freeloader."

"You do more than your fair share. Between you and me, I reckon most'a the women back at camp are holding us back, they don't put in graft like the rest of us," he leaned in conspiratorially and spoke under his breath. "That's why you're a breath of fresh air."

"Oh, now that ain't fair, the girls do plenty, it just goes unnoticed," I defended, frowning at him.

"Maybe they do, but you ask me I don't reckon it balances out too well," he shrugged, "we could probably get on just fine without the women."

"You ain't forgotten you're speaking to one of the women, have you?" I cocked a brow and Micah acknowledged me with a gaze that was unnerving in its shameless assessment of me.

"Oh it's mighty hard to forget that I'm in the company of a woman," his tone was bold, a little vulgar, even, and he was smirking at me. "But I don't class you as one of the women," he made air quotations with his fingers as if to categorise them as an entity all of their own.

"Oh? Then what am I?" I queried, genuinely curious about his response.

"You, you're somethin' special. I can see you really going places in this gang, you keep doing what you do. Especially if you stick by my side."

I didn't say anything for a while, not entirely sure what to say. Micah kept on staring at me, a smile plastered across his lips, beer on his breath as he leaned across the table, taking up some of my personal space where I was leaning on the table too.

"Anyone ever told you, you got a real pretty face?" He suddenly said, taking me by surprise. "Especially those eyes. Real nice eyes."

My brows raised and I leaned back a little, my back meeting the chair. "Oh, well that's kind of you to say," I murmured.

"You ever think about that kiss we shared?" He asked, though he received silence as an answer. "You tasted nice, was good while it lasted, weren't it? Even though you made out like it bothered you."

"Well, it did bother me. But that's in the past, ain't it? Not worth talking about, let's forget about it."

"You think? I thought people were supposed to always remember their first kiss."

"If it's all the same to you, Micah, I'd rather not count that one," I told him curtly, and a smile settled across his features that was amused and more than a little predatory.

I thought for a moment he was finished, with the resulting silence, but it did not last long. He took a deep breath and leaned back in his chair, resting his beer bottle on his belly.

"You know, I think it's sweet you're a woman of little experience, you don't see that all too much, not with the company we keep. Ladies like Miss Abigail; I ain't got a problem with a woman who sells herself but, well, you know. There's something mighty appealing about a pretty thing who ain't ever been sullied by the hands of another man," Micah licked his lips, his expression decidedly lascivious.

"Micah, this ain't a proper topic of conversation," I huffed, getting warm in the face and shifting uncomfortably.

"I suspect you're curious. 'Bout what a man can do," he continued, ignoring my discomfort, "be honest."

"This ain't proper," I reiterated, speaking under my breath, "where on Earth has this come from?" I balked. He let out a dirty laugh.

"You're a sweet little thing, ain't you?" He said, then sat up, draining his beer. "You and I, we have fun together, don't we?"

"Fun?" I repeated. "I guess so, sometimes."

"Yeah, we do. I reckon we could have all sorts of fun, I could show you what you've been missing out on all these years, if you'd let me," he offered, gesturing to me with the neck of his bottle, "how about it? You can trust me, you'll have a nice time. Just a little fun between you and I."

I narrowed my eyes at him, rendered speechless.

"Would you like that? We could pay for a room here, head back later and nobody has to know about it but us, it'd be like uhh… like a private celebration of our own," he carried on, and I couldn't comprehend how blind he was to my obvious displeasure.

"Just so I'm clear; are you asking if I wanna have sex with you; here? Now?" I asked bluntly, seeing him flinch just a little at the way I asked, no frills or nothing.

"I'm asking if you'd like to have a little harmless fun with a trusted friend, it don't gotta be put as brash as that," he rephrased and I sighed.

"Put it how you like, the answer's the same. I'm not sleeping with you, Micah. Nice try, though. The pep talk was nice, I was even a little flattered," I told him drily. His shoulders sagged and his smile dropped.

"Fair enough, your loss," he grunted, casting off any charm he may have had. I snorted, amused more than anything.

His eyes wandered back to me at my laugh, and he couldn't help but smile a little too. "Something special," he echoed from earlier, shaking his head.

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