#Online C++ Homework Help

[cpp-homework-help]

C++ Homework Help

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[yourlocalsonia2]

Tbh I would have such a better time in school if I wasn't forced to take a spanish class that erased my study period (i used to be a A's and B student but now I have 3 c's, 2 b's and only 1 A)

[onlineexamhelpers-tutor]

[assignmentwritingservicesblog]

[mathexamhelper-tutor]

[kisses4reid]

open up for once | ·˚ ༘ spencer reid ,,

synopsis - reader is used to doing things alone, working hard, never asking for help. the team gets worried when the behavior never changes, and few coincidences sets you off.

genre - angst w/ happy-ish ending, bau!reader x spencer,

warnings - crying, r hides emotions, works to hard, doesn’t ask for help. r has a tough childhood.

w/c - its short dw like barely 1k

a/n - sorry for my absence, graduating at the end of this year. i will write when i can!! thank u ❤️

Your eyes latched onto the man’s hands. Two files in his grip were angled towards Spencer.

“Here’s the basic case file. There’s boxes of evidence in interrogation room three, and more files can be found on our online system.” The man spoke to Spencer confidently and smiled, grabbing your attention. “If you need any help, give me a holler.” The peppered man grinned at Spencer like they had an inside joke, but Spencer didn’t react. He simply nodded, and started walking with you to the evidence filled room. A nerve ran down your spine.

“You okay?” Spencer glanced at you sideways and opened an oak door, revealing a room filled with boxes on boxes of labeled evidence. You shoulders sagged at the sight,

“Yeah, just tired.” You picked up the closest box and took it to the only free space on the table in the middle of the dim room. Spencer watched you from behind, eyes roaming your sage green blouse and the wrinkles that adjusted in your movements. He looked away.

You rolled your shoulders, thumbing through the files until you found one labeled with a victims surname. You leant on the desk and faced Spencer, ready to read out anything that stood out to you. But, something itched your brain.

“Do you want me to look at it?” He asked, moving towards you with one hand outstretched.

You clutched the file, the paper bending under your grasp. Seeing Spencer’s wider eyes, you cleared your throat and smiled, “No, it’s all good.”

You turned slightly, and ran a finger down the words in search for any connections. And for a minute you were focused, until Spencer took a file from the same box as you. You followed his hands with your sharp eyes and nearly rolled your eyes.

This was not like you, you did not roll your eyes. You don’t get angry, you didn’t get annoyed. Especially not at Spencer.

Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath and plastered on a smile, “Sorry, Spencer. I need to go get some air.”

What was it? Was it Hotch sending Spencer to help you? Was it the officer assuming Spencer was in charge? Was it Spencer choosing to help you when there were plenty of other boxes that could be sorted?

You didn’t need help, you never did. All throughout school you hated group projects, you never asked teachers for clarification, never asked your parents for help with homework. Not that they would.

You walked through the halls, the very sound of your heels agitating you even more. You had never felt a wave of rage wash over you like you had then, you thought the saying was a lie.

Spencer watched you from the doorway, getting the hint that you needed space, but he couldn’t stop himself from speculating. The tension, the nerves, the fact that you had been on edge since last week. Well, come to think of it, when have you ever not been on edge? Spencer sighed, ran a hand down his face, and against his better judgement, followed you.

He found you 8 minutes later, slightly impressed by your distance travelled in such a short time, on a balcony looking down on the streets of New York City. Another murderer in the concrete jungle where dreams were made of. ‘Concrete jungle wet dream tomato’, as you liked to insist it was. You had your back to the door, arms wrapped around yourself in the chill, and your ponytail flew in the breeze. You looked ethereal to Spencer, like always. Something about your slightly red nose and the way you glanced back at him made you look even better.

You looked away nearly immediately, shutting your eyes closed and taking a deep breath. You didn’t expect to be out there alone for long, but 8 minutes?

“You okay?” Spencer asked, but you stayed silent. He met you on the edge of the balcony, his hands in his pockets and shoulder so close to yours it felt almost magnetic. You didn’t meet his gaze.

The fact that he had to ask, meant that you weren’t okay. It also meant that you had failed at concealing your emotions. He cleared his throat and followed your gaze down onto the busy streets.

“Did you know that over 800 languages are spoken in New York City? It’s the most linguistically diverse city in the world” He clenched his jaw, not exactly used to talking to someone he’s so used to hearing. You nodded.

He sighs.

And you both stand there for a bit.

Before the sun starts to set, and you finally speak up.

“Do you think I’m bad at my job?”

“What?”

“Do you think that, compared to the others in our team, I’m the least valuable. Or needed?” You finally looked up at him now, trying to read his reaction of you opening up - you barely have any conversations that could gain such a response.

“No not at all.”

“Then why do you, and the team, and everyone else, treat me like I’m less than?”

You faced him fully now, which he returned in extreme confusion. It seemed to come out of nowhere. His mouth was agape, but he had no answer.

“You were partnered with me because Hotch doesn’t trust me, the officer gave you the files because he thinks you’re more inclined to take charge, you started going through files I had already started going through.” Your voice raised slightly, arms flailing at your sides. You were so unfamiliar with this, opening up. So much so, that when you started, you couldn’t stop, “My parents never let me make decisions by myself, I was constantly ridiculed for asking for help, I’m constantly compared to others, and just when I thought I had found people that believed in me, everything switches!”

“I have never asked for help, I have never given the team my work, I’ve stayed behind every day to finish my work and I have never, ever, complained about working. So why?” Your voice started cracking, tears lining your lashes, “Why doesn’t anybody believe in me? Why am I so underestimated? I have proven to everyone, for my entire life, that I am capable. I don’t need help, I don’t need support. I- I- am fine- doing everything, everything!- by myself. So why now, does everyone seem to doubt me? What have I done, Spencer? Why don’t you trust me?” You took a deep breath and widened your eyes when you realise how close you had gotten to Spencer, how loud you had gotten, how many tears had fallen, and how much you had just revealed to a man you wanted to protect from your flaws the most.

Your chest rises and falls at a rapid pace as you take a few steps back, gripping one hand on the concrete railing. “Sorry, I… I haven’t been getting sleep lately. Sorry.”

Spencer’s quiet, lets you breathe, the fact that you haven’t run away is already a good sign. He searches your face for any more reason, and starts.

“We don’t underestimate you, especially not me.”

You raise your head.

“We aren’t… doubting you. Hotch has been worried about you.”

Your eyebrows furrow, “Me?” Spencer’s heart nearly crumbles at your surprise that someone would be thinking about you.

“Yes. Like you said, you leave work late, you never ask for help, you’re the most closed off in the team. At first, we thought you were just nervous about being in a new team but it’s been… nearly two years.” He looks you up and down, “You haven’t opened up one bit. At least not to him… only, me. That’s why he partnered me with you, not because he doubted your intelligence or capabilities. He doubted your stability.”

Spencer watched your hair drag behind you as you avoided his eyes once again, pinning your attention on the street below. Your cheeks shone slightly from the unwiped tears.

“I chose to go through the same box as you because I wanted to stay close to you.” He admitted.

You blink, a wave of sadness, anger, and somewhat relief rolling over you. You took a deep breath. “I don’t know how to… open up. Opening up is weak- was weak. Crying, complaining, asking for help… everything was weak.” You met his eyes again and you swore he sighed from relief, “I’m sorry for crying, and yelling. I’m sorry for wasting your time. But…”

You closed your eyes, fighting your instincts and learnt avoidance.

“I’m not sorry, for telling you. You’re probably the best person this could’ve happened with. Thank you.”

Spencer nodded, and smiled slightly. He reached out, pushed a strand of loose hair behind your ear.

“That’s what I’m here for. Always.”

perm taglist (open!) - @jeffswh0re @reap3erslov3 @candyd1es @0108s22m @aurorsworld @theoraekenslover @c-losur3 @littlelearningbrat @khxna @laurakirsten0502 @cultish-corner

[dreamdolldeveloper]

back to basics

mostly free resources to help you learn the basics that i've gathered for myself so far that i think are cool

everyday

gcfglobal - about the internet, online safety and for kids, life skills like applying for jobs, career planning, resume writing, online learning, today's skills like 3d printing, photoshop, smartphone basics, microsoft office apps, and mac friendly. they have core skills like reading, math, science, language learning - some topics are sparse so hopefully they keep adding things on. great site to start off on learning.

handsonbanking - learn about finances. after highschool, credit, banking, investing, money management, debt, goal setting, loans, cars, small businesses, military, insurance, retirement, etc.

bbc - learning for all ages. primary to adult. arts, history, science, math, reading, english, french, all the way to functional and vocational skills for adults as well, great site!

education.ket - workplace essential skills

general education

mathsgenie - GCSE revision, grade 1-9, math stages 1-14, provides more resources! completely free.

khan academy - pre-k to college, life skills, test prep (sats, mcat, etc), get ready courses, AP, partner courses like NASA, etc. so much more!

aleks - k-12 + higher ed learning program. adapts to each student.

biology4kids - learn biology

cosmos4kids - learn astronomy basics

chem4kids - learn chemistry

physics4kids - learn physics

numbernut - math basics (arithmetic, fractions and decimals, roots and exponents, prealgebra)

education.ket - primary to adult. includes highschool equivalent test prep, the core skills. they have a free resource library and they sell workbooks. they have one on work-life essentials (high demand career sectors + soft skills)

youtube channels

the organic chemistry tutor

khanacademy

crashcourse

tabletclassmath

2minmaths

kevinmathscience

professor leonard

greenemath

mathantics

3blue1brown

literacy

readworks - reading comprehension, build background knowledge, grow your vocabulary, strengthen strategic reading

chompchomp - grammar knowledge

tutors

not the "free resource" part of this post but sometimes we forget we can be tutored especially as an adult. just because we don't have formal education does not mean we can't get 1:1 teaching! please do you research and don't be afraid to try out different tutors. and remember you're not dumb just because someone's teaching style doesn't match up with your learning style.

cambridge coaching - medical school, mba and business, law school, graduate, college academics, high school and college process, middle school and high school admissions

preply - language tutoring. affordable!

revolutionprep - math, science, english, history, computer science (ap, html/css, java, python c++), foreign languages (german, korean, french, italian, spanish, japanese, chinese, esl)

varsity tutors - k-5 subjects, ap, test prep, languages, math, science & engineering, coding, homeschool, college essays, essay editing, etc

chegg - biology, business, engineering/computer science, math, homework help, textbook support, rent and buying books

learn to be - k-12 subjects

for languages

lingq - app. created by steve kaufmann, a polygot (fluent in 20+ languages) an amazing language learning platform that compiles content in 20+ languages like podcasts, graded readers, story times, vlogs, radio, books, the feature to put in your own books! immersion, comprehensible input.

flexiclasses - option to study abroad, resources to learn, mandarin, cantonese, japanese, vietnamese, korean, italian, russian, taiwanese hokkien, shanghainese.

fluentin3months - bootcamp, consultation available, languages: spanish, french, korean, german, chinese, japanese, russian, italian.

fluenz - spanish immersion both online and in person - intensive.

pimsleur - not tutoring** online learning using apps and their method. up to 50 languages, free trial available.

incase time has passed since i last posted this, check on the original post (not the reblogs) to see if i updated link or added new resources. i think i want to add laguage resources at some point too but until then, happy learning!!

[pinkacademiaprincess]

Hiii I’m so sorry to bother you!, hope your day goes well <3 I just want to ask, how can I improve in maths? I’m preparing myself for the sat and I have trouble with understanding it. Any tips would be very much appreciated, thanku !! ♡

Become a Math Whiz: Acing Math Class & the SAT 📈✏️📚👩‍🏫

ty for the ask & the kind words! you are never a bother, i'm happy to help 🥰 i can def give some tips as someone who went from struggling w/ math to being good at it. and i’ve taken the SAT so i know that experience as well! i hope this helps 💗

take accountability

it’s very easy to try to shift blame & avoid taking responsibility for your grades/ performance. i used to think things like “the teacher is just bad!” or “i’m just not a math person!” but this mindset is just deflecting. some things are out of your control, like what teacher you have or preferring other subjects, but you have to step up & work hard to create your own success! remembering this will help you stay motivated and disciplined.

find your learning style

i talked about this in a previous post too, but there are different styles of learning - visual, auditory, hands-on, & reading/writing - and not all of them work for everyone. if you spend a ton of time studying and don’t see improvement or results, that’s a big sign that you’re studying wrong. a method that works for your friend or that your teacher uses might not actually be effective for you. so do some research into learning styles and study methods, and find implement strategies that work for you.

never fall behind

okay, easier said than done. but one of the biggest reasons i used to struggle is math is that i would get stuck on a concept, never fully master it, and then i’d stay behind. in math, a lot of topics build on each other. if you get stuck on a topic, it’s crucial that you figure it out asap or your confusion will snowball. you can’t build a solid structure on top of a wobbly foundation. the moment you encounter a problem area, study it until you’ve completely understood.

practice makes perfect

i try to steer clear of recommending specific study methods b/c everyone has different learning styles. but math is so dependent on problem solving & applications that you really have to master this skill in order to succeed. beyond just reviewing your notes & reading over concepts, you need to practice applying topics by solving problems. do the homework questions & do them for accuracy, even if it’s just graded for completion. find extra problems in the textbook, workbook, online, etc. redo questions from class or the hw that confused you until you can do them correctly without your notes. drill it until you can solve them AND understand how the steps work!

ask for help

i am clearly a big proponent of asking for help. in school, your teachers are gonna be one of the best resources you have. for one, they’re teachers for a reason, so even if you think they’re not too great at explaining stuff, they know the concepts. and besides that, your teachers the ones who are creating units, assigning your work, writing & grading your tests... they should be your go-to for questions. visit them during office hours or email to set up a meeting where you can discuss concepts. ask for extra practice problems, ask them to look over your work & let you know how it looks, talk through your work with them. aside from teachers, you can get help from a tutor, a classmate, whoever you can turn to. but pls don’t suffer alone! succeeding with help is still succeeding.

use the internet

so maybe your teacher truly sucks at explaining. maybe you don’t have classmates to help and can’t afford a tutor. or maybe you just wanna supplement your learning another way. i really really recommend utilizing free learning tools online!! khan academy is an obvious one for videos, practice problems, and more. you can also find tons of youtube videos explaining math topics. sometimes it helps to hear things explained another way. i also google “[math concept] practice problems” if i want extra questions to work through.

bonus: tips for SAT math

the SAT is a bit different b/c the math concepts aren’t actually too advanced. it’s all multiple choice so you don’t get to rely on partial points for showing your work. the SAT is testing your strategy & speed as much as it’s actually testing you on math concepts, so here are my best tips for that specifically:

use khan academy’s SAT prep tool - it’s free (!!!!!) and it links to your collegeboard account. it uses prior years’ SAT content so it’s very similar to the test itself. it helps you pace yourself, pinpoint your problem areas, learn & apply concepts, & track your progress. here's a screenshot from when i used it, as you can see my scores improved and i was able to ultimately get a superscore of 1450!

take practice tests - this helps you get familiar with the time constraint. khan academy has plenty!!

do a ton of SAT math practice questions - ideally, find a ton of questions used in prior SAT tests and just crank them out. the test's concepts are quite repetitive so if you just focus on the topics they usually test, you can master them

learn test-taking strategies - the SAT is multiple choice and has a tricky time constraint, so however you can save time will help. become good at using the process of elimination & other multiple choice test methods. you can find these sorts of tips online!

i hope this helps! know that you are completely capable of improving at math. i went from thinking i suck at it & doing poorly in math class to acing my calc courses & studying to enter a math-focused field. utilize your resources and figure out your best study style asap, and you WILL see improvements!

[twiishaa]

come here, mafuyu chan full fic because the og creator deleted it 💔

for ml @strxwberriiwithchocolate 💞😻

disclaimer i did NOT write this !!! credits to original writer !! this is just the infamous proseka meme 😻😻😻😻😻

I don't belong in this world, I'm just a waste of space. I'm just someone that happens to be here. I start sobbing. "*sob* I can't do anything! I'm just stupid and lazy! I can't do it! I don't want to try!!!"

My sobbing slowly turns into crying. I can't focus anymore. I leave my additional homework sitting on the desk. I can't even bother to take it off. Who even cares that it's there?. I land on my bed, crying. It's Friday afternoon and I'm crying. I shouldn't be crying.

I shouldn't be crying, this day is supposed to be happy and an amazing day. Yet, I'm still crying. I don't want to bother my online friends, I really don't want to.

"Mafuyu! I came here to gi-"

I slowly raise my head up. What a great time to be here, Akito. He's holding a little sack with some food inside. I don't feel like eating, I feel like dying.

"Go away"

"Mafuyu, I won't”

Akito keeps looking at me. I can't help but look at his eyes. They're beautiful and brave. Mine are wet, from the tears I just shed before.

"Mafuyu, I don't want those pretty eyes to be wet for tears, here"

Akito hands me a napkin. Why is he here? He's supposed to be playing videogames right now. He always plays them on Fridays. Yet, he's here. I place the napkin on my face and wipe off my tears. With him, I somehow immediately feel better.

"Hey, you know I always spend the Friday afternoon and night playing videogames with the rest of my friends, but today I want to spend it with my cute girlfriend Mafuyu"

"c-cute?"

My mouth rises up. I smile softly at his words. I almost never smile when I'm alone. When I'm in the sekai, with Miku. I never smile. Yet now I only feel like smiling.

"Your smile looks so pretty, you should smile more. I have some good, let's eat it in here and pretend we're having a picnic"

"This is..very nice of you, Akito-kun"

We place the sheet on the ground of my room. I turn on the lights.

"Hey, do you want to go outside, Mafuyu?"

"S-Sure! Let's go!"

This is the first the time I feel genuinely happy to go outside, especially when it's just with a person I care about. We now place the sheet in the garden's grass. The sun's light flashes on us, Akito's eyes are the prettiest in the sun. We place the food on the sheet.

"P-Pancakes.."

"Do you not like them?"

"Oh, of course I do, Akito-kun!" Akito laughs.

"I know you're used eating cheesecakes with Ena, right?"

"Yes, I do. But I wanna try this"

I grab the pancake with a fork and pop it into my mouth. The pancake is full of flavor. The chocolate that was put on it makes the flavor double, the sprinkles even more. It's the first time I see a pancake with chocolate on it. It tastes amazingly.

Soon after me, Akito eats his own pancake.

"Do you like them, Mafuyu?"

"They're..exceptional..I love them"

Akito smiles and giggles. We finished our pancakes soon and he pulls out some mountain dew and orange juice.

"Which do you want?"

"Oh, I'll take the orange juice"

"Hehe,I knew it"

I drink my orange juice. This feels just too nice, I don't know if I've ever been this happy. We chit chat about our bands and it's nighttime now.

"Hey, Mafuyu. Let's go at mines, Ena is at Tsukasa's house and my parents are at work, no one can see us!"

"Let's go, Akito"

We both hold each other's hands and head over to Akito's house. We enter and change. (I wear Akito's comfy sweater and pants to sleep)

"Mafuyu,you look so cute, in my clothing"

"Thank you. Before we go to sleep, c-can we...uh.."

"Yes?"

"Akito-kun, I want to hug you"

Akito giggles.

"Sure, come here, Mafuyu-chan"

Akito holds me and we cuddle in the sheets. My head is on his chest, as he pats me softly. And smiles, sometimes he giggles cutely. It's so comfy, the sheets are so warm.

He hugs me and I can't help but smile all out. He's too cute. He starts reaching for something on his desk.

He pulls out some air pods. He puts the left air pod on my ears and the right one on his. So they match our positions. He smiles at me and I smile back. That means we both agree to listen to some music before we go to sleep.

The music is calming and the piano notes are very nice. The song is a "Nocturne" by the composer Chopin.

The night sky travels though Akito's windows and the light of the stars shines on us, we look at each other and I quickly steal him a kiss on the lips, he kisses me back, as the night slowly starts to become dark and we fall asleep.

[leighlew3]

Hello. I just started screenwriting. It was a bit difficult since all I've been writing was prose all my life but I got used to it in a bit once I finished watching all the Youtube tutorials and kept studying scripts, especially superhero ones since that's what I write. I started screenwriting because I realized I think more visually (especially with my ADHD) and I wasn't writing as much as I used to. Plus my writing style sucks. Peroid.

Can you share tips for beginner screenwriters? Like writing tv show and episodic stories if you can? It will be highly appreciated.

Also, how did you get into screenwriting?

Hi!

Welcome to the circus! We're all clowns here.

Nah, but real talk -- I'd be sure to check in on some free resources online that offer invaluable information and tips. Whether it's just random sites found via Google, or podcasts. Two of the only ones I personally really pay much attn to:

John August's Blog Scriptnotes Podcast (eps are free but there's Premium extras)

First things first, MY tip to you is to learn to love and embrace research. A huge part of the craft and job itself is researching. So if you learn to be good at it, even right off the bat in looking up tips on structure, formatting (Screenwriter's Bible is a great book for the technical basics), etc -- you'll be able to slowly learn the basics, and then how to evolve as a writer, and so on. Everything I ever knew of screenwriting before becoming a professional was self-taught, so don't think that one has to spend a fortune, take classes, etc to do this. If you have the determination, the drive, the work ethic, a smidgen of talent, and the delusion to not give up -- you never know how far you could actually go.

When it comes to the TV space, I will say it's... evolving. Drastically and quickly. 'Rules' and standards in the industry that were rules 20 years ago changed 10 years ago. And they're changing again now as we speak. That being said there's always going to be the core basics.

I think a good resource some for the basics at this point in time can be found here.

Beyond all that, a very helpful thing to do is to download and read as many scripts in the vein of what you hope to write as possible. Make a list of your favorite shows or ones in the genre and style and format you hope to work in -- and check around online. You're sure to find some pilots, maybe even some early pitches or show bibles for those series. Seeing how it's actually done on the page will always be the most valuable way of learning, above all else.

If you have more specific questions, I'm around and can try to help further. As for how I got into screenwriting? I realized very young I wanted to be involved in the industry in a creative capacity. I loved writing short stories and poetry as a kid and won some stuff in school but I never really thought about writing professionally. That being said, I was studying box office results like it was math homework and reading the trades while my friends were reading teen magazines on fashion and celeb couples, lol. At first I thought perhaps I would be a director since I'm a visual person, but then I wrote some fanfiction as a teen, and so many people would say "I wish you wrote for the show!" so I started to think maybe I could be a writer, but I didn't think I had my own stories to tell. And then... one day I did. I dove into some original ideas by thinking on what I wasn't seeing enough of from Hollywood (female lead action and thrillers, etc at the time) and off I went...

I've worked in the industry in other capacities (social media, PR, marketing, etc) from afar (in TX) for many years but eventually really started to do everything I could to pursue the true dream and be a writer. Alas, I wanted to make it on my own without asking for favors nor hookups. I would avoid what I did, if I were you -- GO AHEAD AND ASK FOR HELP. Don't be afraid to. I stupidly took longer than needed b/c I didn't want to be that person that asked for help or yet another friend of a celebrity who needed / wanted something from them. That was dumb. I could've saved myself years of struggling and hustling alone -- alas, lesson learned. 😂

Anyway, I eventually landed a rep via cold email queries. The guy was awful. I've since upgraded to much better reps and have a lot of exciting things happening. Slowly. The pandemic and strikes sidelined a lot and made projects that would've happened 5+ years ago only now start to really happen, but hey -- better late than never.

So yeah, just know that it's a really really REALLY hard time in the industry right now, and the TV space is being hit the hardest. That being said -- somebody still has to write for television. And there's no saying it can't be you, or anyone else reading this. If you can learn the basics of formatting and structure, hone your craft, find your VOICE as a writer, and work really really hard and be patient as hell... you never know what you can accomplish.

[mathexamhelper-tutor]

[fursasaida]

was checking to see if there's some kind of online pedagogy platform for in-class essays - i.e., you can see that students are on the site and typing into it (to avoid just c/ped chatgpt responses and so on). I don't think I'd actually want to use such a thing, since the surveillance aspect squicks me out, but I was thinking about tactics teachers are using to avoid AI and how in-class essays is one, and how that would be difficult to translate to an online class. so I was wondering if it existed.

anyway, my poking around found 1) lots of sites to help students not do their homework 2) lots of navel-gazey essays by teachers about online teaching. a depressing venture overall

[ultimatebottom69]

I do a lot of venting nowadays...

I am tired. Sincerely. I never had any ambitions in life. When as a kid i was asked what i wanted to do...I didn't know at all. I took some shit like vet. The more i grow up the more I realize i truly have no passions. I enjoy playing video games, i woild dream of making one, i want to write and finish all my wips, i want to swim at the beach and geta sunburn....I never wanted to work.

I also knew i was weird when people talked about...Crushes and sex...I just get...Bored. like what's so great about it ? I went to date two guys. One when i was 11 (he asked me out. I said yes. I broke up with him because he would get into fights to defend my honor or whatever. Great gesture just fucking come tell me. Dunno if it was a lie since it was one of his friends who came to say that to me at 1pm during lunch break. I never saw that boy again.) And then at 13 a boy asked me out. I decided to say yes. I kissed him, felt squishy and very wet but overall a ok experince not anything to write books about or do a whole movie, felt boring.

I broke up with him within the hour because a very kind but random chinese gal that was in my tech class talked me out of it and told me I was too pretty to date him...That and he also asked to touch his penis while we were sharing our first official kiss together very tue-l'amour if you ask me.

He proceeded to sexually harass me for the rest of the year after the break up.

I didn't say anything, i was dealing with bullying from former friends, my dad going step mom hunting we were at number 3 and the nightmare half sister. My mkm was abroad studying...Overall my teenager years were not a cool experience and you will never pay me enough to do it again. Just put the razor blade on my tongue and leave at this point...

The reason I am venting right now is simply because my mom told me that me going to shower at 1 am wakes up my step dad (he snores so that's a lie) and during the day she also complained i go take showers specifically when they start to cook (which is the weirdest shit ever sorry you don't cook at fixed hours and I am not allowed to put on the damn AC. I am sweaty and gross from that 6 am shower, i had 7 hours of online classes witha woman who does not understand that no technology is anything but fast doll, oh and she talks and talks and uuurgh. And I am not allowed to take a shower when my class ends it has to be in the night. It's 31°C Cedric not everyone likes to be covered in grime the whole day) and don't get me started how she dares. DARES i say say, him and me are the same...Because of our zodiac sign. I am not kidding. This is her whole reasoning. I have common points with him...Namely I also hate to see his bitch ass in my vicinity. Like i dunno dude go smoke weed or act as if your life is so sad. You chose to be a manchild, you were born in misery this doesn't justify randomly yelling at my mom for no faults of her own you asshole. I would have said go fuck your mom, but you did bury her rascist narcisstic bitch ass just this october. Glad she died by the way, abusive cunt.

And now the ma'am who was doing my class just sent me 30 messages in a row since 11pm and is demanding a paper that I do not have for something that i am not obligated to give and everytime I point out to her how innefective and truly way too tile consuming what she is doing...

She replies "Oh that's how we do in our school". Everytime. It also doesn't help she calls every yoing person lazy, she gives us unrealistic deadlines, too much homework, we have 4 days of classes who all start at 7 am and ends at 2pm or 3pm. Saturday included.

I am excluding how my grandparents are, how my close family is (all of them are a shade of conservative except my fucking grandma somehow)

Before posting the post i quite litterally thought of ending it all right the fuck now, i got razor blades laying around, it was to remove my feet deadskin, that fucker loves barbecues so i have really sharp knives just in the kitchen...

I have to do so many rendez-vous with professionnals. Pole emploi just sent me some fuckery again that I did not open because my exams are in 3 weeks. I barely know the methods. I wanted to do school at my own pace but all my family was like "No you have to find a school or else you would not work-" which is so stupid BECAUSE the dumbasses now do not understand why i am taking weight, why i don't sleep, why i don't have time to go outside or do sports to lose weight (i swesr i have this talk every motherfucking week for the past 5 years) , why do i not ask for help like bitch you did this you are the reason I don't fucking ask for help and now here I am at 1:33 am convincing myself that life is worth living because i wanna write my silly stories, talk to my internet friends, screw around on tumblr, nature is worth living for, i wanna pet more cool animals.

And now at more then 18...I realize sinve I was 12. I was right about one thing :

I don't hate myself, i just hate it here.

now if you'll excuse me I have a degree to work for.

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[oneweekoneobsession]

DAY 4 : 30 Days of Autism Acceptance 2025

April 4th: What are your current special interests if you have any? What are some positive ways having special interests have affected your life? What are some negative ways that they have affected your life? How long do they tend to last for you? You could even talk about past special interests if you want.

Okay so this is actually a really interesting question! I feel like the word "Special Interest" is really frequently used, especially in online spaces, with not always the same definition in mind. SpIns are not the same as hobby or "regular" interests.

I like literature, but it is not a SpIn of mine. I like playing tennis, but it is not a SpIn of mine. I like piano, but it is not a SpIn of mine. For me, for an interest to be special it needs to be a) really intense, b) at least sometimes overwhelming (it impacts other aspects of life) and c) had an important identity or perception of the world impact (like glasses through which you understand others and yourself).

As a child, I spent years having a special interest on the world of Harry Potter. This interest was definitely very intense (many many hours every single day were dedicated to interacting with this subject, for years). It impacted every aspect of my life : my friends were my friends because they liked Harry Potter, but I stopped spending time with them as soon as they had other main interests or interacted with the series in ways that were different to mine (which was a very methodic learning of every fact about the world-building). But, most importantly, I defined myself through this special interest. I understood the world through the lens of this special interest. This is what made this so different than any other hobbies I could have. I not only invested time in this subject, but I gave it my whole soul. After a few years, especially when I found out about jkr's transphobia, the interest faded. It left me feeling very empty. I didn't know who I was, I didn't know how to interact with other people without this tool.

I don't think I ever found a SpIn that was as intense and important to me as Harry Potter ever was. So, I don't know if I can describe my actual interest as a SpIn, because it doesn't have the same importance to me.

In the last few years, I have developped an interest in whales. I invest a lot of time in learning about them, they bring me great emotional comfort, I know a lot about them, I love talking about them and they are an important part of my identity. However, I can go a few days without actively interacting with this subject. It makes me feel as though it isn't as intense as other interests have been. Most people I know don't have such intense interests as I do with whales and this interest was even picked up by the neuropsychologists who diagnosed me as an "unusually intense interest". So it would probably be considered a SpIn, but it feels weird for me calling it that because it's not as intense as my previous one. In both cases they lasted a few years (one is still going on).

I'm lucky because my SpIn don't have a lot of negative impact on my life. Aside from occasionally annoying people by talking about it and making it hard sometimes to focus on something else (like homework or people or anything else). As for positive impacts, interacting with my interest help me relax, calm down after a meltdown and generally bring me joy. It can also be useful as inspiration (I did many school works and works or art about whales).

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