#Or just insanity

[emmaelix]

I Swear That's Not My Dead Body: Part One of Seven: Bakugo x Fem! Kirishima! Reader

I recently asked @aikugo on Tumblr what their favorite AUs are and one of their answers was Office au! I personally also love crime-solving and quirkless AUs, so I blended them all together into this mess! And to make sure I didn't abandon this poor fic I created an outline (although whether that will motivate me we shall soon see 👀)

Y/n Kirishima stood outside her new boss's door, hesitating to knock. Should she? At her last job, she wouldn't have done that, but she wasn't sure how "hero agencies" worked. She had gotten this job because of her prior training as a nurse, meaning she worked well enough in high-adrenaline situations. A hero agency worked alongside police and emergency medical services to help the victims of violent crimes and natural disasters.

Y/n decided to knock. "Hello? Mr," Y/n paused to look at the name on the door. "Mr. Yagi? Are you in there?"

A tall man in a black suit with bright blonde hair and blue eyes opened the door. He looked about forty but acted like he was still in his early twenties. "Hello! Yes, I'm Mr. Yagi, but I'd much prefer it if you called me Toshinori! I might be your boss, but I'm still your equal!"

Wow. This guy was as energetic as Ejirou. A second man, lean and shaggy-haired wearing jeans and an unbuttoned blazer walked out of Toshinori's office. "I'm Taishiro," He offered, grinning and taking a bite out of candy of some kind. He was also blonde and had brown eyes that shone so bright they almost looked yellow.

"Oh, nice to meet you Taishiro! I'm Y/n Kirishima, the new hire," Y/n said, smiling at the man but shaking her head no when he offered her some candy.

Taishiro waved a man who looked maybe two years older than Y/n over from the desk where he sat. "Tamaki! Come meet the new hire!"

How many people in this office had names that started with T? Y/n was relieved when she saw Tamaki. He had dark blue eyes and black hair that was dyed indigo on the tips. He wore slacks, a collared shirt, and a red tie. Tamaki smiled when he saw Taishiro and Toshinori. "Tamaki has been with us since he got out of medical school! He's a real prodigy, and graduated top of his class. He's calmer and has a more slow-demeanor, which you might enjoy since most of the rest of us are pretty fast."

Y/n chuckled softly at the blush spreading across Tamaki's cheeks. "Can I be shown to my desk? I'd like to get settled in before my first job."

Taishiro nodded and pointed to a desk in front of an angry-looking blonde man. "You'll be next to Katsuki. Be careful around him. He didn't get the nickname Pomeranian for his soft and caring attitude."

"This might be an even better job than I first thought," Y/n said, carrying her small box of items to her desk. The only pictures she had were of her and her brother or her brother and Mina, his girlfriend who they'd grown up with and who had become like a sister to Y/n.

Y/n and Mina had become so close Y/n had told her brother that if they ever broke up she'd marry Mina just to keep her in the family. Although Y/n doubted that would ever happen. Just last week she'd gone with her brother to pick out the engagement ring he wanted to give her on Sunday.

Y/n put her pens away and turned to her new deskmate of sorts. "Hello, I'm Y/n Kirishima. I just got this job last week and I was hoping to make some friends so-"

"I know who you are. You moved into the apartment beside mine. I'm 1-A, you're 1-B. I also know your brother. He and his girlfriend live in 2-A right above me."

It might be easier to make friends here than Y/n thought. "If you're coming over to my apartment it better be because I asked you over. I'm having wine and pasta tonight. Do you want to come? It'd probably be us, Tamaki, Eijirou, and Mina."

"Sure!" And thus began a beautiful friendship. Well, if you call neighbors and co-workers eating pasta together and cussing at tv characters on Friday nights a beautiful friendship. Which Mina Ashido certainly does.

---------------------

Y/n was talking on the phone with Mina two months after moving into her new apartment. "Yes, I've already chosen hand towels. Yes, Mina, of course, they're the same! I'm not spending money on new towels when I have old towels that work just as well! Hang on, someone's at the door. It's probably Kats."

Y/n could hear Mina snickering on the other end of the phone. She walked to her apartment door to see - as she'd thought - her neighbor Katsuki Bakugo standing in front of her. "Hey, Y/n. I need some help at my apartment."

Y/n had heard that she didn't know how many times. It was a ploy Bakugo used to get her to come over and eat with him when he didn't want to eat alone or had made too much food by accident. Since he often used his mother's recipes, which were designed for three to five people, he had leftovers almost every night. "Sure, Kats."

Y/n was about to hang up when Bakugo motioned for her to stay on the line. She was about to ask why when she noticed what was lying on Bakugo's floor. "Katsuki Bakugo! Is that an effing body? What the hell?"

Bakugo shrugged. "I don't know how it got here. I came home and she was just lying on my floor. Since there are maggots eating her I'm guessing she's dead."

Y/n made a disgusted noise. "Yep. She's dead. How did you not smell her? Yuck."

Alright. Chapter One/the prologue is finished. Next to come: Chapter Two, probably by the end of the month. (But don't hold me to that 😅)

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

[angrypeacepoetry]

[qrowpilled]

hate when you find a character whose so infuriatingly Your Type that its embarrassing like yeahg no one is gonna be surprised when i announce this is my new Guy Of The Month

[baristabomb]

...weird amount of dunmeshi fans have been saying being a caretaker in a relationship is the worst thing ever..marcille must want to killl everyone soo bad because doing things for people suuuucks sooo muchh

it's an act of love, not just a job i promise. we all want someone who's willing to take care of us in some way, just like how senshi shows care for others by cooking for them :'|

[kissofagirl]

[catmask]

when u go to write a mentally ill person in ur story you are presented two options. the first option is to write your mental illness realistically as you actually experience it with all the ups and downs and people who are like you will resonate with it and feel seen. except every person who reads instagram infographics on mental health that uses the phrase narcicisst for anyone who does anything that crosses them and unironically call themself a dark empath will call you scary and tell you that youre demonizing mentally ill people

the second option is to lie and write inspiration porn for those people to get hard to

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

do i ship these characters or do i want them to form a sketch comedy duo

[christadeguchi]

(✿◕‿◕) die (ꈍ ꒳ ꈍ✿)

[livingisboring]

[whirriscool]

im slowly losing it

[sneakertin]

the doctor, to the meep:

[sw1tez1anka]

[stickyvoidpaper]

Dick : Jasons been more, relaxed lately. It's unsettling.

Tim : Yeah, I've started spiking his water with mood stabilizers.

Dick : What

Tim : I've been thinking of doing it to the wider gotham water supply. Think about the crime rates.

[a1sart]

if there's one thing this last episode has affirmed for me about Alastor it's that he FUCKING HATES being reminded that he's not the most powerful creature in hell.

Like, he hates being ignored by Carmilla when she says she doesn't care why he was gone

He hates Lucifer ON SIGHT

He threatens to KILL Husk when he dares to mention that Alastor is working for someone more powerful than him

and now this.

Alastor freaking out because he almost died. Something almost killed him. He can fucking die. There is something more powerful than him out there. And it's not something he can ignore or brush off because it almost killed him.

Alastor hates the reminder that he's not as powerful as he tells people he is. He isn't indestructible, he isn't invincible. And he fucking hates that.

[tiger-grace]

Interviewer: as a father of many adopted kids from different social backgrounds than your own, what do you have to say about the concept of nature vs. nurture?

Bruce Wayne: well I love all my kids dearly and I’ve tried my best to see that they grown up responsibly so let me tell you-

(News plays footage of Dick swinging on the chandelier at a gala last week)

Bruce: let me tell you I’m just about nurturing a fucking headache at this point