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mendesblurb · 3 years

Note

Hi, I’m such a fan of your writing and honestly a little in love with coffee lol

so I was wondering if you’d be okay to write Shawn x reader where they just enjoy some morning coffee together (Fluff).

Morning Coffee

Shawn Mendes x female reader

Word Count: ~2.8k

Warning ⚠️: fluff, maybe grammar error and maybe some punctuation errors.

Masterlist

A/N: oof so sorry for the sudden disappearance, but irl things got busy and messy lol. Anyway, hope you guys enjoy this story! Love you all ♥️

There’s just something about coffee that made Shawn fall in love with it. Maybe it was the smell of it brewing in the bright sunny morning or the bitterness yet slightly addictive flavour.

It was his part of routine, even the fact that today was a Sunday and he could actually sleep in a little longer, and make that cup of coffee later.

The Coffee shop was a bustle of color, sound, and smells. The place was new, but it was able to give off a homey feeling, the one that made you feel instantly welcomed.

The lights were dimmed, so it would ensure an easy adjustment on one’s eyes after walking in the blinding sun's beams.

The sound of the soft jazz piano consistently playing in the background. Shawn felt glad he took Aaliyah’s advice about giving this new shop a chance. The smell of roasted coffee beans and sugar made Shawn inhaled all deeply before a familiar voice cutting through, interrupting his sensory bliss.

“Shawn?”

He spun in place to come face to face with the person.

“Y/N? Oh my god.” Shawn greeted you into a hug, his arms enveloping you into his chest, “How long has it been?”

“Basically since high school graduation.” You giggle, voice muffled in his sweater.

Shawn smiled to himself as he patiently watched how the steam from the boiling water started to rise above the kettle, swirling in the air.

You and Shawn lay there for a while, appreciating how the sky slipped from indigo to a rich, deep purple. For once, it was a clear and cloudy night and you could see almost every star in the sky.

“There’s the Big Dipper....” he said while laying down in the blanket and began pointing his finger up to the sky. Meanwhile, you began to move closer to him and lift your gaze up at the constellations he’s pointing out.

“That one’s Orion’s Belt..” pointing his finger up again.

“I know the constellations Shawn.” You said while giggling.

“Good. Because I only know those two.”

“Hey look! That's a shooting star. Make a wish Shawn!” you squealed, immediately squeezing your eyes shut.

Shawn chuckled at your adorable act for only a brief moment before letting his eyes close too.

Then after the high pitched 'ding' emitting from the machine, interrupting him from his thoughts. His hands were quick to work effortlessly, gently pouring the black liquid into two cups, and adding a splash of milk to only one of it.

“Thank you for walking me home,” You grabbed his hand and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth, brushing your thumb over his cheek, “I had a really good time tonight, Shawn.”

Shawn’s eyes could only widen by your sudden act, and cheeks reddening even further.

“Me too,” he said, nodding, and unable to contain his giddy smile, “Would you maybe..” tilting his head, eyeing you with curiosity. “Go on another date with me?” He asked.

“I’ll, uhm”-,” you said, trying to ignore that your face probably also brightens with color as well.

You both stayed silent for several moments, slight awkwardness filling the space between you.

“Oh goodness was I too blunt? I didn’t make you uncomfortable, did I? I just assume, I– “

You interrupted him with another soft, chaste kiss on his cheek. Just a second, just enough to smell the mint on his breath. You pulled away and smiled at him, lacing your fingers with his. “I’d love to.”

Absolutely perfect, he thought, leaning in for a sip. There really was just something satisfying about this that brought him so much warmth and happiness at just one sip.

It was a rather slow day for Shawn. He was just in bed, reading one of his favourite Harry Potter books, attached to his lap, was you who stubbornly decided that today was a clingy and cuddly day.

He loved slow days like this one, since it meant he could spend time with you without having to worry about writing new lyrics or attending interviews anytime soon. He wiggled slightly to get into a more comfortable position, effectively stirring you from your short nap.

Soon enough, the book he was reading disappears from his grasp, held in your arm before being transferred over the nightstand next to the bed, and Shawn is pulled down a little further into the bed.

“Cuddle now, read later,” You commanded, trapping him to the bed with your entire body weight and legs.

“If you say so, baby.” Shawn sighed, happily settling into your embrace.

His lips quivered into a smile as he brought the warm cup to his nose again, inhaling the pleasant tanginess of the coffee before bringing the cup back up to his lips, humming delightfully at its strong odor, continued wrapping his fingers around the heated mug and relaxed his shoulders at the pleasant bitterness coming from the warm beverage.

"I have to tell you something," Shawn mutters as your face is still mashed against his chest.

"What is it?" You ask, barely above a whisper, his hand still stroking slowly over your back.

"You're gorgeous," he says quietly, muffled a little as he speaks, "I love your smile, your dimples, your face, I love your scars and your arms and your cute butt and your legs and basically your everything."

You smile, looking up at him. "You think I have a cute butt?"

"Don't push it," Shawn yawns. "But I do love all of you. Now go to sleep."

”I think you have a cute butt too.” You giggled as you continued nuzzling your head on his chest, and pressing a light kiss on the spot just above where you could hear the rapid thud-thud sound, “I love every part of you too, Shawn.”

The feeling of joy continues engulfing his body, like the warmest hug, transporting him out of this world.

Shawn woke up lying on his back with a weight on his chest. One arm was slung around his shoulders as you used his chest as a pillow and tangled your legs with his.

“Y/N,” Shawn spoke softly, rubbing a hand up and down the arm he had wrapped around your waist. The only answer he received was a low grunt. “Babyyy,” he tried again, a little louder this time. “It's already morning.”

“So?” You asked, voice rough as you otherwise remained unmoving.

“Maybe we should get up?”

“No thank you,” Shaking your head, you tighten your arm around his middle and legs, locking him in place. Shawn wasn’t going anywhere without a struggle. “Come on,” He wheedled as he poked at your shoulder and ran a finger down to trace little patterns across your back. “Don’t you want breakfast?”

“Nope,” You said again, trying to get him to settle back down into his previous position. “And please stop wiggling, you’re a terrible pillow.”

“Just use one of your actual pillows!”

“It’s not as comfortable,” You smiled, before lifting your head to kiss the top of his head, “So please for now,” You grumbled, taking one of his hands that you could reach and locking your fingers together, “We should just stay here.”

“Okay fine,” Shawn sighed, giving in, lightly squeezing your hand. “Okay you were right, this is relaxing, peaceful and cozy. And I like that we are together. I like this. Just laying here with you even if we are so hungover right now.”

“Told you this could be nice.” You laughed

Shawn smiled hearing your response, and proceeded to settle back into a more comfortable position and pulled you even closer.

So much so that he didn’t feel that moment of tranquility was interrupted by a pair of arms enveloping him into an embrace. A smile forming on his lips to a familiar slight sigh that escaped his accompaniment.

“Shouldn't you be asleep? It's late.” Shawn said, barely looking up from the screens hoping for some type of progress, or any progress had been made. He rubbed his temples and sighed in mild frustration.

“I could ask you the same thing you know...but that's why I got you this..”

Shawn looked up to see what you had brought. It was a steaming mug of what smelled to be coffee. You handed the cup to him, ushering a brief warning of how hot it was. “It's nowhere as good as your coffee, but I tried…”

“Thank you, baby.” Shawn smiled, taking a sip and went back to work, feeling slightly more awake.

“Don’t overwork yourself too much, okay?” You said, leaving a light kiss on his forehead before moving across the room.

“Hey now, what are you doing?” Shawn asked when he heard the slight creak of a couch, “You should be sleeping.”

“I'm staying here with you.”

“You have two early meetings tomorrow, don’t stay up with me.”

“I took a day off. Don't worry, I promise not to disturb you. I'm just here if you want a refill on coffee.” You said picking up one of the books lying around.

It was your favorite sight in the morning. Shawn had gotten up before you and was in the kitchen, making some coffee.

You lean against the doorframe of the kitchen, head slightly tilted as watching him, your eyes travelling down his body. A smile spread across your lips as you stood there and stared at him for a second longer before slowly walking towards him.

There he was, his back to you, wearing only his black boxers. Your eyes danced across his broad shoulders, to the tight muscles of his back and down to his butt, god he was a vision like this.

"Thank you for the food." You said, sitting down at the table and started eating the piece of the chicken, “Didn’t expect to have a home cooked meal made by my lovely boyfriend after a long day at work.”

"Is... Is the chicken... alright?"

He actually knew it wasn't, and you probably knew too.

"It’s alright," You muttered, but clearly trying to shove down a glass of water right after taking a bite.

Shawn reached his own fork towards the dish. "You don’t have to finish it."

As if in defiance, You took another piece of the burnt chicken. "It’s okay," you said, choosing not to look at him, "It's... actually not bad, for a first try."

Shawn couldn't help it, he chuckled, “You must really love me.”

“That I do.” You smirked, “Because I truly never thought a chicken could possibly die twice.”

"Oh dear god." Shawn said, embarrassingly hid his red face behind a hand, but couldn't quite smother the smile on his lips. ”We are so ordering that pizza."

"Morning sleepy-head," he said, his voice cheerful but low.

"Morning," you responded, planting a kiss on the back of his head.

He loosened your hold on his waist and spun around, pulling you into an embrace and clutching you by your waist and lifting you effortlessly onto the counter as he stepped between your legs. His hands gently caressing your thighs, lips curved up into a smile.

“Hey, Y/N?” He says, voice quiet as both of you stand on the front porch of his childhood house, to watch the snowfall for a bit.

You glanced up at him with a questioning look,“Yeah?”

Without another word, he grabs your scarf and pulls you in for a sweet kiss. You were a little stunned, but eventually melting into the kiss anyway.

“What did you do that for?,” you whisper when you break the kiss, “Not that I didn’t love that.”

“Oh you know I just love kissing you,” he laughed, before pulling you back in for another kiss, “And maybe being close to you too.”

He held you like that for a moment, both of you savouring the contact, listening to each other breathe.

The warmth of the shower water flowed over your body and you hummed happily at the sensation. Your eyes closed as you allowed this moment to just relax before the beginning of your always hectic day.

Your hands were caught in his hair, combing the suds from it. Shawn was pressed up against your body, his body slick with water from the shower, his lips nudging at your neck, “Oh my god!” You pull away slightly, rubbing some water from your eyes with your hand, and glanced up at him, “I don’t have clothes for work.”

“Just wore what you wore yesterday,” His chuckles, lips choosing to stay from your mouth, before making its way down your neck, licking, biting and sucking the skin.

“I can’t,” You gasped for breath, chest rising and falling rapidly as his hands slid up your body, “I have to go,” You said, while you unwrapped your arms around his neck, trying to move away but Shawn was instead pulling you closer, restricting your movements.

“No, no, please don’t go yet,” Shawn pleaded, nibbling at your sweet spot. “Two more minutes maybe?” He tried to convince you, pressing into your skin before a calloused hand reached around and grabbed your butt while another grabbed your thigh and pulled you up, “Or you know maybe it’s time for you to move in?”

You pulled him away from your body, forcing him to look into your eyes. He was grinning widely, and had this slight blush covering his cheeks. “Are you…. serious?,” You asked, while placing a finger on his lips to stop him from distracting you with his kisses, “Ummm, that.. is a huge next step..”

“Yes I’m sure!” Shawn nodded before carefully setting you back on the ground. He reached out his hand, cradling your face in it, rubbing small, tender circles on your cheek, “So, what do you say?”

“I don’t know..” you purse your lips and put a finger to your chin as if you were contemplating and then you shake your head with a grin splitting your face, “I have mixed feelings about your sleep talking or you can be a messy person sometimes.”

“Please,” he responded, wrapping his arms around your middle and holding you tight, peppering kisses on whatever skin he could, “Please.” Kiss. “Please” kiss. “Please.”

“Hmm..” You smiled as you wrapped your arms around his neck, and captured his mouth with your own again, “Okay, I’ll move in with you.”

"I made coffee," he said, pulling away to look at your face and giving you the cup.

“Thank you,” you said, taking a sip of the coffee before signing deeply, surely enjoying the heavenly taste that slowly woke you up, “Uhmm it tastes a little bitter,” you said, arm wrapped around his shoulder, nose brushing against his. Your hand cupping his cheek, lips lingering on his soft skin, “I think I need a little sweetener.”

“Bitter huh?” He mumbled against your cheek before looking down at the cup of coffee in your hand, “Let me make it taste sweeter for you.” He smiles, carefully taking the cup out of your hand.

You were expecting him to add some sugar and taste to make it less bitter. Instead, he placed it on the counter, turning to face with your soft warm hand, noses brushing, and lips sharing the coffee filled air.

His lips parted, moving closer to your lips. His tongue peeked out of his mouth brushing along his bottom lip before disappearing and connected with yours, molding effortlessly.

His bottom lip tucked between yours as your heads titled in opposite directions, moving in the familiar rhythm. Your tongue pressed oh his, tasting the bitterness of the coffee. He then planted your lips on his once more before pulling away. Hand still resting on his cheek, slowly caressing.

“Shawn, what are you doing?” You call up from the bed, from where you had been watching some Netflix, “You are missing out on the movie.”

“Have you seen my blue hoodie?”

You immediately wince, not knowing that this was what all the fuss was about. You scrub a hand down your face and bite at your lip, feeling bad for having stolen the soft pullover, but it fit you so comfortably, the one that was so cozy and warm and it was just filled with your favourite cologne of his.

He’s waiting for an answer, you know, and your face crinkles up apologetically, “…No.”

“You’re wearing it, aren’t you?” He walks out of the closet, as you chew your lip.

“It’s literally snowing outside and your clothes are so soft, it also smells like you and – ” You start to explain yourself, but he only huffs out a little laugh, a small chuckle, “You’re so lucky I love you.” He says.

“There it should taste sweeter now,” he whispered, brushing his thumb on your cheek.

“Uhmm.” Your eyes were still closed, lips curved up into a smile and continued learning into his touch.

God, he could get used to this. Sharing a home, coming home to you, sleeping beside you, staying up all night with you and waking up beside you.

He wanted nothing more than It to be a forever kind of thing.

Thank you for reading guys... feel free to like, reblog, follow my account, leave a comment and my chat is always open for random chats or requests... appreciate every single one of you... ❤️

Taglist (open) : @monikamendes @holland-styles @bvttercupbby @lonelyreputation @badreputationlove @shawn-is-my-giant-jellybean @benito-mi-vida @swiftmendeshoran @yournameoneverypage @shawn-is-bruh @mendesbhraanth @perfectlywrongsm @imaginashawnn @smendes-forever @nervousmendes @whenyoureadyholland @shawn-youth @myboyshawn @camilalewiss @camilalewisss @theregoesmyherojd @nanijaac1 @shawnieeboyy @silverswallow @inlovewithmendes @mendeslol @mendesx123 @23kofmendes @jellyloml @chipofmendes @poohmendes @wutheringmendes @shawnmendesbuddy @chocochipcookie305

Story code: 120322103

#shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes fandom #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes story #shawn mendes smut #shawn mendes x y/n #shawn peter raul mendes

160 notes · View notes

sunfloweroranges · 3 years

Text

𝕋𝕙𝕖 ℂ𝕠𝕟𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤 𝕠𝕟 𝕐𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕤𝕜𝕚𝕟

𝙰/𝙽

𝚆𝚎𝚕𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎!!

𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚞𝚕𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚏𝚒𝚌.

𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚘 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠, 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚗𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞, 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚗'𝚝 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖.. ✨

𝙼𝚢 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚡𝚎𝚍 𝚜𝚘 𝚒𝚖 𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚍𝚍𝚎𝚗!

𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜:𝟸𝚔

𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝚑𝚞𝚛𝚝/𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝, 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚜𝚑𝚞𝚝 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗, 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚜𝚖, 𝚊 𝚕𝚘𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚌𝚛𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚋𝚊𝚍 𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜, 𝚋𝚒𝚐 𝚜𝚊𝚍

𝙴𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢!

𝕄𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥

· · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·

A shaky breath escaped their lips, with a small puff of steam, the air wasn’t that cold, it was so late though. The moon was far up on the star littered sky, but their eyes didn’t see them… Their hands fiddled with a ring of keys trying to see through the blur of tears which key to use, but when the keys fell from their hands so did the tears from their e/c eyes. Today was the worst, first the work, too many clients, almost every each one was yelling and angry at them for no reason or for a reason they didn’t control. Then the way back home, they caught a flat tire and stood on the busy highway for hours trying to find a way to change it just to find no internet signal while trying to look for youtube tutorials.

They did end up calling a roadwork help, of course it wasn’t cheap and they were questioning if their rent would be paid from what they had left. The workers weren’t nice either, all over rude and belittling. When y/n go back on road they had to drive another additional half an hour, because the mechanical shop was in the opposite direction. They placed the top of their hand to their mouth trying to hide the ugly cries, muffling them in process as well.. It was the small things that kept on piling up lately, from awful customers to even the smallest things, like takeout missing a piece of their order or even worse, messing up or missing part of their partners order, then to add salt to the bruise, they realized the mistakes or missing pieces halfway home. · · · · · ·

Y/n crouched to grab the keys, the concrete floor cold and disgustingly wet against their fingers, they quickly picked up the key, having a small raccoon charm hooked on it, the little plushy reminded them of their lover, the most gentle and kind person they knew, they shakily brushed the small plushy as clean as they could with their hands, while the tears blinded their vision between blinks. While quiet sobs left y/n, the door softly clicked and opened, Choso standing behind them with his messy hair and the tired eyes, that somehow looked livelier whenever he saw his beloved. His gaze looked around his eye height vision, where he expected their dearest to be, but, they weren’t there, rather, when his eyes slipped down he saw the shaking, crouched figure.

The familiar mess of h/c strands, shaking, in worse than ever disarrangement immediately flared an alarm in the towering male’s head, he crouched down and brushed his hands on their shoulders. “Y/n? Come inside, you’ll catch a cold if you stay out.” His words resonated like an echo in y/n’s mind, their head crowded with terrible thoughts like a horror ride with only a terrible end, but these words, the familiar voice they heard was like a sharp turn to a much calmer ‘ride’. They barely moved, all they did was tip forward, onto their knees, dirtying their pants from the wet concrete that felt unbelievably spiky on their legs.

Choso didn’t hesitate to catch the tilting lover in his arms, when these things happened he already knew what was going on. These shut downs happened very rarely for y/n, but when they did, all Choso could do was be patient and gentle towards his beloved, they talked about it ever since the first one happened years ago, when they barely met and y/n messed up their work project and had a lot of inside rumble piling up for a while. The male gently picked up y/n in his arms, with a grunt getting up and shutting the door with his foot almost stumbling to the ground but luckily catching balance.

Y/n kept on clinging to their keys and the raccoon plushy, even though their safe heaven was right there, holding them close, in these moments y/n curled up, didn’t speak, barely moved and would love to become invisible for the time being. These moment were like a last straw for their sanity and patience. From these moments they couldn’t come out themselves unharmed, but ever since Choso learned and grew to care for Y/n out of his own loving and kindness towards them, y/n survived these storms calmly and safely, even if the saving was from their own self. · · · · · ·

Choso knew one thing, silence was the worst that could happen now, it gave space, space that surprisingly quickly could be filled with the worst nightmares and most gruesome scenes by y/n’s troubled mind. The click of a kettle ensured to add a new noise, the blackette had already put on some soft playlist that y/n enjoyed, the rumble that slowly got louder was just one of the few factors that would help ground y/n. His beloved that was now curled up on the couch, waiting for Choso to appear again while ‘Leave me in Amsterdam’ played from the Bluetooth speaker on the table. Choso’s gaze softened seeing how Y/n, now drowning in his hoodie, that was still warm as he was wearing it just a moment ago, cradled the raccoon plush that Choso took off of the keys and promised to wash and dry tomorrow.

The water rumbled as its temperature rose, the pigtailed male walked up to the soft brown couch an crouched in front of y/n, gently placing his hands on their knees that were pulled close to their chest, his gaze, so soft and loving, so caring, everything he did towards y/n was as such. Choso gently brushed the thumb of his left hand against the thin material on their knee, y/n had to be helped, but got changed into more comfortable clothing and out of the dirty pants they had on. · · · · · ·

“A few years back, I remember you’ve asked me about my favorite flower… I asked you to guess, and you said Sunflowers. Truth be told, I didn’t have a favorite bloom, but ever since you’ve said that, I can’t help but look at the yellow pedals with a smile.” Choso’s voice as quiet, a gentle tone, reminiscing and confessing, another gentle tug onto Y/n’s mind to ground. A pair of e/c glassy orbs looked to the black ones, their darkness enticing, but somehow, keeping it shallow with their caring gaze, though blurred through the salty tears that balled in the corners of y/n’s eyes at these words.

A soft sob escaped their throat, their eyes feeling hot with tears and their nose runny as they curled into themselves more, their body tensing and limbs shaking as they clutched onto the small plushy, their knuckles turning white. Choso’s brows twitched in worry, just for a moment he thought he did something wrong, but seeing how y/n’s face changed just a bit, the tiniest way that their brows curled, he knew that they were just emotional, that these tears weren’t as sad, but rather touched the most vulnerable part of his lover.

The black haired male gently lifted on his feet and rested his knee on the edge of the couch, if he learned one thing, it was that even if these things that he did, seemed useless, they worked, bit by bit, slowly reeling in the loving and kind and sometimes too loud for most people’s liking y/n that reminded him a little of Yuji, that he knew and loved. · · · · · ·

The feeling of weight, of touch, of warmth.. The feeling of someone else, the feeling of Choso, it felt so foreign, so new and yet so safe and familiar. His arms have wrapped themselves around y/n, when they unveiled themselves from the curled up bean they’ve become because of crying. Their eyes burned and their nose did too from too much rubbing, but it didn’t matter, not when the soft lips kissed their eyelids soothingly, not when his kisses felt like the cure for any possible ache.

Y/n felt the tenseness of their body hurt, this tense shut façade that they subconsciously clawed at to hold up. Y/n was afraid, scared to show their vulnerability, shutting down, unable to speak nor show what was wrong. With Choso around things were different, with him they could slowly grow and show the weaknesses, say what upset them with no fear of judgment, or keep silent and be sure that he wouldn’t leave, he wouldn’t judge, that Choso would simply be there, support y/n in the ways he knew could help, even if just a little, even if it was just a millimeter pull away from the edge of a breakdown.

The next factor, the warm cup in their hands, the keychain raccoon hung off of their finger as they held the mug with two hands, they took a small sip, a simple tea, a warm beverage, not too sweet, not too bitter, the perfect tea just the way they liked it most. Choso knew just how to make it, and he also knew, after y/n told him, that drinking something, the warmer the better, makes their throat hurt less, as when they shut down their throat tensed and shut in a way speaking wasn’t possible, but drinking soothed it, not permanently, but definitely helped even just for a moment.

The soft breeze, cold, icy air making their breaths turn into small clouds before fading away. Y/n sighed shakily looking at the star littered sky, immediately spotting their favorite, orions belt. Choso took Y/n out, on the roof of their apartment complex, the sky looked so beautiful, here where the streetlamps didn’t work, here where the area was pitch black, the stars looked so bright, the milky way stretching across the sparkling roof.. Y/n hid their hands withing the long sleeves of the hoodie, slowly, the cold air grounded them, the smell of ground, of the nearby forest, of the world, cold, but refreshing, like a breath of life into the shell of their mortal body.

Choso looked to his beloved, his arms wrapped around them as he sat on the edge of the roof with an old blanket under them to keep them separated from sickly cold concrete of the roof. His dark eyes reflected the stars, but y/n’s showed him the most hidden and breathtaking galaxies, his hand gently resting under the dark hoodie y/n cuddle into, gently pulling the h/c figure close his fingers mindlessly mapped out the beauty marks on their side, he knew all of them, where each one was embedded into the vast universe of y/n’s skin.

He knew they would sometimes feel insecure, loose grounding, shut down, or have a bad day overall, but these moments just helped him prove y/n that truly, he wasn’t going anywhere, especially not away from the one he loved most. Y/n sniffled again, this pulled Choso out of his thoughts and mindless staring into the sky, his hand didn’t waver as he connected the small constellations on y/n’s skin “The Sky herself, is envious of The Constellations on Your skin”

With these words the sobs softly began again, but this time, y/n leaned into the awaiting embrace of the dark haired male, he didn’t expect it, he didn’t expect anything from y/n, not even letting him care for them. This time like many others, y/n managed to surprise him. Three soft squeezes onto his shoulder. That’s all it took for him to remember their little codeword, causing a gentle smile to break out onto his lips he buried his face into y/n’s hair and whisper, where no one else could hear, where the sky herself was watching them from above…“I love you too…”

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@ryosmne @love-amihan @falling4fandoms ||if youd like to be added to the tag list, comment, send an ask or a dm :))

#𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕗𝕝𝕠𝕨𝕖𝕣𝔹𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕣𝕪ℂ𝕚𝕥𝕣𝕦𝕤𝔽𝕒𝕓𝕝𝕖𝕤 #choso kamo x reader #choso x reader #kamo choso #jjk x reader #choso kamo jjk #choso jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen #choso fluff #choso x nb! reader #nb reader

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absinthehoney · 2 years

Text

upright

in the moments before it was upside down again it was all blue. in the car, on the roof, reclaiming songs and staring at the stars. i pointed out constellations and we held hands like we were praying. i showed you both orion’s belt, and the big dipper and i tried to remember the names for every star in between them. i picked lupines and got mobbed by mosquitos. we drove through the mud and the sky was so blue. i felt the blueness around me. blue is usually a sad color, but now blue reminds me of lakes, the color of the sky, and the screen behind this wall of text as i type this. blue used to remind me of mistakes, and pcp, and hitting a laced cart and having everything turn blue. blue reminded me of a horrible person’s eyes, and the sky, and the lake. blue is the color of the water when you look at it from on top of an impossibly tall hill. you want to go tumbling down it, through the golden grass and the potential snakes. i wanted to cannonball into the too shallow water, but i didnt. i dipped my fingers in instead. they find some empty bottles, and we fill them with sand. i tell them that the sand is our secrets, and we fill the bottles with our secrets and throw them into the water. we skipped rocks, and talked about secrets, and lakes. i thought about the ducks at the lake, feeding them candy and wanting to tell them happy easter. the water looks gold when you get up close to it. the sand shimmers like gold and jewels in your fingers as you push it into the bottle. when the sun sets the clouds are gold, and pink, and then they turn to blue and its beautiful. in the moments before the world reversed it was beautiful, and wonderful, and i was overcome with a sense of community, and realness, connection i hadn’t felt before. i felt seen, and heard, and my hands were warm as we spoke to god together. blue reminds me of them now. the green of the trees in my Untainted Places reminds me of them. pink reminds me of them, and the sky. purple is the flowers i quiz them on, pointing out the delicate lavender colored flowers every time i see them. yellow is the water, the golden hills, the sun when it shines off their hair. every color is them now. they’ve given me a whole new rainbow. we gave each other eulogies, and drove through those golden hills i used to detest. the brown is the mud, the dirt in the corner of my eyes, the beans in the taco bell food we devour like demons. in the moments before it was upside down again i was reminded how good life can be. i was taught about happiness again, being shown how to live life in the pursuit of Real Happiness and not just drug induced euphoria. even now as things are upside down we are right side up, and we help each other stay upright. on the hill as i almost slip, and drop, and slide down the hill i am kept upright, and i keep them upright.

#schizobabble #actually schizophrenic #rainbow #i love my friends

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mysterystarz · 3 years

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nova,

i love you from the bottom of my heart to expanding in the whole galaxy. i wish i could show you how much you mean to me, but words cannot describe such a fond feeling. or how i feel when you lay on me in the cold, or we start our own little book club to read and discuss books together like it’s our little secret.

i’m not so sure how to put the words together for when you look at things with so much purity and joy. may you look at me that way sometimes? possibly! but the way you look at freshly ground coffee beans or the way you study orion’s belt on the nights the sky is clear and we’re more than awake to go witness their beauty. i wish i could reciprocate that feeling into words, into art. but i’m not an artist great enough to capture your true beauty.

you have a face that belongs in the stars; permanent, illustrious, and heavenly. your eyes remind me of rich, dark chocolate melting into your coffee when the fire begins to lick the logs in the fireplace, or that feeling when a kitten begins massaging your arm or leg with it’s paws. it’s something only the greatest can feel, although i don’t know why you’d choose someone like me.

i love you more than the nearest galaxies and our own combined. i wish i had more words in the dictionary to help describe you, but alas. so all i have to offer, is this: i am only a man, a mere mortal compared to your simplicity. and i offer you my heart, undoubtedly yours, to make or break. to forever and beyond, my beautiful star.

-akaashi keiji

oh my god

i’m speechless

i want to cry seeing this so much because it’s so tender and loving and fuck i love you whoever wrote this and i love you keiji and always will

i have no words other than to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for this

#keinova ❣️#he #he’s so #he knows me so well #you author know me so well #i’m #melting #might cry about this later #happy tears #i feel so *known*#thank you #so muchb

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that-scouse-wizard · 3 years

Note

💝: How about Lizzie getting LFC tickets for her best football mate?

Sure thing, thanks for the ask! Hope you like it! With a brief mention of Katriona (@kc-needs-coffee).

"David!" The voice of one Lizzie Jameson enthusiastically called out through the warm interior of the Hufflepuff common room. The beater turned to his teammate, still chewing on a Bertie Botts Every Flavour Bean, watermelon, not his favourite but far from unpleasant.

"What is it, Liz?" He asked to his beaming friend, with their exams out the way, there wasn't much left to do but relax. What had her so excited, David couldn't pinpoint.

In her hands, Lizzie proudly displayed an envelope, "I had a chat with KC and well, see for yourself."

David took the envelope, opening it up. Immediately, his eyes went wide at a familiar sight, red , white and green crest of Liverpool Football Club. The Liver Bird's wings stretched out in triumph. There were six tickets in total, the unlucky sods they were due to play for the game come the next football season being Manchester United.

Lizzie didn't have time to react as David swept her up in a bone-crushing hug. Though initially letting out a squeal of surprise, she soon found herself laughing along with her friend.

"You like it?" Lizzie asked rhetorically, his answer being sufficient, "There's one for you, me, Orion, KC, Murphy and... I was thinking Merula could take the last spot."

David smiled appreciatively at that, though she found Muggle Studies completely boring, she at least seemed interested in aspects of muggle culture David told her about.

"Though, I should say," Lizzie spoke up, "KC is planning to support Man U!" She said in comical regret.

David shook his head, "I thought she had better taste than that... d'you want to go belt out You'll Never Walk Alone at her until she agrees to support LFC?"

Lizzie wordlessly offered him her arm, soon interlocking it with his own, they had a certain Ravenclaw to irritate.

#harry potter hogwarts mystery #hphm #jacob's sibling #david willows #lizzie jameson

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theclassyissue · 3 years

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#Spotify

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knightofameris · 4 years

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among the stars — sugawara koushi

✎ gender. neutral ✎ contains. pestablished relationship, uneahlthy familial relationships (mention), anxiety of a college kid, self indulgent, not edited ✎ wc. 1.7k

✎ summary. with so much anxiety and uncertainties on earth, what to do, how to do it, you always looked up to the stars for answers.

✎ ameris’ notes. just something self indulgent. not my best work but, it’s kay! also tried to keep reader’s interests as vague as possible, but I can only do so much lol.

The Miyagi air was sharp against your skin. Piercing. Cold. It felt like if water fell from your eyes then it would immediately freeze over.

That was one motivator to hold your tears in.

You swallowed down the very lump in your throat because you knew that if it escaped, the dam would break loose. And again, you did not want your tears to freeze on your face. A sigh left your mouth, the cold air apparent in front of your face as you walked past Ukai’s shop. There was still a light inside but you could tell that it was closed. After all, the world—or rather, Japan—was preparing to sleep for the night.

“Hey.”

With perked ears, you turned your head towards the source. Suga stood there with a gentle smile on his face, his little bean sprout (as you liked calling it) on top of his head. He donned his typical winter coat and blue scarf, topped with gloves on his hands. Clearly, he was more prepared for the winter temperatures of Miyagi than you. Considering you were just wearing a thin sweatshirt and jeans. But you ran out of your house too fast to think ahead of time.

“Koushi,” a ghost of a smile played at your lips until you remembered why you called him out. The two of you were back in Miyagi for winter break and at first you were excited to be back home from university, feeling like your relationship with your parents was starting to look up. That is, until you realized nothing changed at all.

After all, even your older brother who had a somewhat better relationship with your parents ended up with an estranged one.

They didn’t even go to his wedding.

Suga took off his coat, draping it around your shoulders. You tried to protest, claiming that he’ll end up with a cold but with a chaste kiss to your forehead, you accepted it reluctantly. The final icing on the cake was when he promptly wrapped his scarf around your neck. His gloved fingers brushed against your neck as he tucked it into the coat. And despite the clothed barrier, you were still able to feel the warmth and love that radiated from him.

With that big smile of his, he beamed at you, “There, all nice and warm.”

You rolled your eyes as you laced your hands with his before tucking it into your—or his—coat pocket. And the two of you set off, walking to wherever your feet took you.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked, glancing at you. You pursed your lips, your hand squeezed his. Ever so slightly, you walked closer to him, wanting the comfort of his presence.

You shake your head, “No, not yet.”

“Whenever you’re ready.” His thumb brushes against the back of your hand as the two of you approach an empty park with a large open field of grass. The very place the two of you met all those years ago. The very place the two of you would spend countless nights after his many volleyball practices. The very place the two of you confessed your feelings to one another.

You were glad to know that you knew him for over half your life and that he would continue to be a part of your life (at least you hoped so).

Despite the freezing weather, Suga sat on the ground, in the middle of the grass field and pulled you down with him to sit between his legs. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pressing you against his chest.

“I’ve missed you,” Suga murmured into your neck, letting his lips kiss you lightly. You let out a small giggle, telling him that it tickles. He didn’t care and started to press more kisses on your neck. Your laughter was music to his ears. As overused as that statement was. But he was just so happy to hear it in person instead of over the phone. It had been a long time waiting. For the both of you.

“Koussshhiii,” you whined, pushing his face away from you. He pouts but relents nonetheless. Your laughter dying down as you settle down and rest your head against his shoulder, looking up to the night sky.

“Hey, Koushi?” You ask, your eyes tracing the stars, trying to see if you’d be able to recognize any constellations despite the light pollution. The one that you’re always able to find during this time of year was always Orion’s belt. Before you knew it, the three stars entered your sight.

Suga hummed in response, prompting you to continue with your thought. You turned your head towards him, your eyes landing on his beauty mark that you always love leaving kisses on. Especially with how flustered he’d get after.

“Where do you think shooting stars land?”

There was a moment of silence. Suga looked up at the sky, used to your odd questions. A small smile made its way onto his face. Immediately, you knew what he was up to.

“Well, I’d say in your eyes, because you’re made of stardust.” He grinned as you let out a groan, you shook your head.

“You’re so cheesy, Kou-chan.”

“You love me.” He nuzzles his nose to your cheek.

“Yeah, yeah.”

Silence veiled over the two of you. A comfortable silence. Despite sitting on the cold ground, the two of you felt more warm than ever. Even if Suga gave his coat to you. But he was prepared, making sure to wear a few extra layers after past experience to how many times you’d sneak out of the house or just run away for space away from your parents.

His heart would break every time you’d run into his arms with tears. After all, all children want is for their parents to be proud of them, to support them, to love them in a way that’s healthy.

“My parents really want me to become a doctor,” you break the silence. His grip around you tightens.

“Do you want to?”

“I...” you trail off for a second, “I don’t know. I’m doing fine in all my classes, more than fine. I’ve got plenty of shadowing opportunities. I’m actually top of my class. But...”

“You want to do something else, right?” Suga finished for you, knowing all about your interests and what you’d rather do. The way your eyes would light up whenever you wanted to show him something new. You always loved how he’d support you through and through.

“Yeah, it’s just that, I don’t think I’m any good at it, even if I wanted to pursue it as a job. All the classes I have to take to become a doctor, that comes naturally. But not anything I’d want to do. I don’t know what I want out of life anymore.” You let out a sigh, trying to dig further into the comfort of Suga’s arms. His hands begin to play with your fingers. His gloves are long gone so you’re able to feel the pads of his finger tips, the callouses from his many years of playing volleyball. And yet, they were still soft.

Suga pressed his lips against your temple and you leaned into it.

“You remember our third year, when Kageyama became starting setter?” You nod your head. “Do you remember what you said to me when I felt so useless? When I couldn’t even play the sport that I love so much?” You close your eyes, remember that conversation distinctly. It did take place here, like every other memory.

“That you were still important and that you still had a lot to get out of the club.”

“Well, that’s the gist of it. Even then, the same could be applied to you. And you saw Hinata, he was terrible-” you laughed, remembering his many mistakes “-but he’s gotten so much better. He is in his last year now.”

Your laughter died down. “Fair but, Hinata’s sorta simple minded. No offense to him, he only has volleyball in his head. Besides, my parents hate all the things I’d be interested in.”

“That’s the thing about life and living, huh.” You turn your head to look at Suga, his eyes resting somewhere beyond the horizon as he continues to talk. “How should we live, how do we make the most of it. I know I can’t answer that for you, your parents can’t either. Only you can.”

That’s the weird thing about college and moving on from your small sheltered life. You found that even if you had some sort of plan after high school, for the most part once you hit nineteen, twenty, everything comes crashing down. Some of your friends who wanted to pursue STEM degrees found more meaning in the performing arts and some of those struggled with the means of getting there. Some people didn’t even know what they were doing, just trying to coast by. You question everything and you feel like you have to have everything figured out before you leave university. Or so you found within yourself and others near your age.

But it was in moments like these that you found your anxieties about the future calmed down, even if it was for a little while.

You hum, turning your gaze back at the stars. “Well, however I live in the future, there’s one thing I know about it.”

“Hmm? What’s that?” Suga asks, glancing at you, his fingers still fiddling with yours.

“I know I want you in it for the rest of my life, living by my side.”

Suga’s eyes widened. Sure, the two of you grew up together, found love in each other. And sure, he’s thought about maybe starting a family with you, break that generational scarring. Or at the very least, marrying you and moving in together. Waking up beside you, going to sleep with you in his arms or him in your arms. You’ve had the same thoughts as well, but not once have either of you even hinted at it. So knowing that you wanted what he did, well, it eased his anxieties about the future as well.

His fingers began to play with your left ring finger, rubbing over where the ring would go.

“I’d like that, a lot,” he murmurs with a hint of a smile dancing on his lips.

No matter what the future holds, you knew you wouldn’t have to go it alone.

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therealuniverse · 4 years

Photo

SCALE MODEL OF THE SOLAR SYSTEM How big is the solar system? Scientists have placed the edge of the solar system at the Kuiper Belt or the Oort Cloud. The Kuiper Belt is an asteroid belt beyond Pluto (today, Pluto is categorized as a member of the Kuiper Belt) and about 60 times as massive as the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter. The Oort Cloud is the theoretical mass of comets, asteroids and other debris beyond the Kuiper Belt. This puts the solar system's diameter at roughly 1.5 light years across, or about fifteen trillion kilometers.

In order to put this scale to a size that can be better related to, the Sun will be represented by a bowling ball about eight inches across. About 7.6 meters from the bowling ball is Mercury, represented by a pinhead. Another 6.9 meters is Venus, represented by a peppercorn, and Earth is 5.3 meters further, represented by another peppercorn (the moon is about 6.1 centimeters from the Earth, represented by a pinhead). At this point, Earth is almost 20 meters from the Sun. Continuing past the Earth 10.7 meters is find Mars, a second pinhead. Between Mars and Jupiter is the asteroid belt. The asteroid belt is about 41.5 meters from the Sun. However, the asteroid belt is mostly empty space. Thirty one meters past the asteroid belt, or 72.4 meters past Mars, is Jupiter, represented by a chestnut. To put this scale into perspective, Jupiter is 102.9 meters from the Sun and more than a city block from Mars. After Jupiter are the rest of the outer planets: Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune, represented by a hazelnut, a coffee bean, and a peanut, respectively. Saturn is 85.3 meters past Jupiter, with Uranus 189.7 meters past that and Neptune 214.1 meters past Uranus. Finally arrive at Pluto, represented by a pinhead 184.4 meters past Uranus. This point is one kilometer from the Sun. At this distance, the bowling ball is no longer visible, not even with binoculars. Less than a millimeter past Pluto are the Voyager probes. Of course, while the planets do not stay in a straight line (the Voyager probes used a unique aligning of the outer planets to their advantage), they generally stay about the same distance from the Sun and from each other. So, while Jupiter and Saturn can be as close as 85 meters together in this model, they can be as far as 391 meters apart when they are on opposite sides of the Sun from each other. The nearest star to the Sun is Proxima Centauri, at 4.2 light years. On this model, it is a whopping 6,759 kilometers from the bowling ball that represents the Sun. The star Arcturus, which is 58,996 kilometers from the bowling ball – about four and a half times the width of the Earth – would be five meters across, longer than a standard pickup truck. Rigel, which is over a million kilometers from the bowling ball – three times further away than the moon – would be ten meters across, about the length of a standard school bus. Betelgeuse, the red giant in the constellation Orion, would be about 158 meters across – twice the size of an American football field. Yet, in this model, the Earth is just the size of an ordinary peppercorn. The image compares the size of the Sun with all nine planets. - R. Atkinson Sources: http://voyager.jpl.nasa.gov/where/index.html http://www.exploratorium.edu/ronh/solar_system/ http://www.co-intelligence.org/newsletter/comparisons.html

#Solar system #scale model #planet #orb #example #distance #space is big #the universe #the real universe

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purplesurveys · 5 years

Text

656

Where is the last place you had a kiss? My girlfriend’s couch. I normally wouldn’t kiss her inside her house but we were alone, so it just happened. What did you eat for breakfast yesterday? I skipped breakfast yesterday and went straight to having a macchiato, which was a horrible idea considering I had a badddd hangover. My body made me pay for it soon enough when my stomach started unusually heating up, so I bought a sandwich by around lunch to help it feel better. When was the last time you were at an amusement park? 2013. I don’t like amusement parks so when my friends make plans I don’t go along with them. Two weeks ago I was at a school fair which kinda has the same amenities as an amusement park, but I guess it’s not the real thing so it doesn’t count. When was the last time you cried out of physical pain? Last Wednesday. My friend Leigh was trying to demonstrate for me the concept of just-noticeable difference by pinching the skin on my hand. I don’t like feeling pain anywhere on my body, so when she started amping up her pinching I had to yell out. Have you ever done anything to Support the Troops? No. Can’t relate.

Do you donate blood? Nooooo no nope. I just said I didn’t like feeling discomfort on any part of my body hahaha and getting pricked is the worst sensation for me. I wouldn’t be able to donate blood even if I wanted to either – as far as I know you have to be of a certain weight to be qualified, and I’ve never met that requirement. Are you wearing two shirts? No. It’s never too cold to be wearing two shirts here. The only time I had to really do this in a local sense was in Sagada. That weather was b r u t a l. It was the first time my dad turned on the heater in our car and I didn’t even know Filipino cars came with heaters lmaaaaaaao. This was a very long way of saying no. Have you ever owned the socks with toes on them? Never have. What were you the last time you went trick or treating? I went as my best friend at the time, Sofie. I didn’t have time (and wasn’t as extroverted as I am now) to come up with a detailed costume, so I went as her – black dress, eyebags, winged eyeliner, and thick hair that was never combed. It had the least effort of all my friends’ costumes, but I got the most compliments on social media lol. What's your favorite morning activity? I am so not a morning person, and I just like sleeping/lying in whenever I can. Can you cook? I am hopeless in that department. Is there a lot of laundry in your hamper? No. My mom’s laundry day is Friday, so it’s basically empty the whole weekend. When do you think you'll have children? In a little less than a decade, honestly. I’m pretty firm in my decision to have kids; it’s my biggest dream if anything. I mean I’m also willing to wait until I’m in my 30s because god knows how expensive everything is rapidly getting these days, but I just know I’ll end up having kids one way or another. Can you point out constellations in the night sky? No. The only thing I can safely point out for you is Orion’s Belt, and that’s because it’s essentially a giveaway lmao. What was your favorite part about studying ancient Greeks and Romans? Nothing. It’s one of my least favorite topics. The only thing that got me to enjoy them for a brief period was the Percy Jackson series, but when I finished the books my interest in that world waned fast. Have you ever eaten a gyro? Nah, but close enough – I’ve had shawarma. What's your favorite flavor of Tootsie pops? Mmmm not really a fan of Tootsie Pops, or like candy in general. What's the last thing you bought at a mall? If I remember correctly, I got a toasted siopao in Coffee Bean. Where did your mom go to high school? She went to Colegio de Santa Rosa in Makati. What's a subject you would never major in? Philosophy. My college curriculum required me to take one Philosophy elective, and not only was it the worst experience ever, but I got my second-lowest mark in college from that class. Is there someone who you can turn to for money and not be ashamed? No. I hate asking for money, even from my parents. When's the last time you took a bubble bath? A little over a year ago, probs. I love bubble baths when I manage to get settled in one, but because I’m usually in a hurry when I take showers, the concept of staying and relaxing in a bathtub is a little weird to me so I never do it haha. Have you ever swam in a river? I have photos of me when I was 1, my mom, her sisters-in-law, and their kids (my cousins) swimming in some river. Are there any dirty clothes underneathe your bed? No. I know I could be messy, but that’s just disgusting. What food do you love the smell of while it's cooking? Curry. What food do you hate the smell of uncooked? I just hate the smell of wasabi in general. Your #2--what's their occupation? Your #3--what color are their eyes? Your #1--what cartoon character would they be? Your #4--are they allergic to anything? All Myspace questions that I’m skipping, lmao. Has a bee ever stung you? No. That’s like one of my top 3 fears so I never allow myself to be near bees or wasps. If there’s any nearby I run the fuckkkkk away. Where did you last go camping? I have never been camping for real. In what month do you start Christmas shopping? Last year I had some stuff ordered by early November – but those were gifts for just my girlfriend. I bought everyone else’s gifts like a week before Christmas. Have you ever slept in a bed with someone with bad BO? I’m sure I have; I just don’t let it bother me because no one’s breath is supposed to smell great in the morning lmao. Do you have a favorite flavor at Baskin Robbins? I have never had Baskin Robbins and I dunno if I will, because it’s just so expensive. Philippine suppliers looove bringing foreign brands like Shake Shack and Baskin Robbins over here and slapping insanely high prices on them just so they’re seen as high-end lmao, it’s sad. Are there fast food wrappers/cups in your car? No not at the moment. If anything there are old receipts. Do you read the newspaper? Very seldom, but given that I’m a journalism student, I encounter newspapers a lot because they’re everywhere in the college. What search engine do you use? Google. Have you ever posted a question on Yahoo questions? Nope. But the website is useful and I just look for people asking the same question I have at the moment. Have you ever been on a dating website? I made a Tinder account a few years ago just to observe it and just for fun. I never needed it but I was curious, so I joined it but I used a fake name and a photo of a cat I saw in school as my profile picture so that no one knew who it was. Have you ever had a crush on a celebrity of the same sex? Save for CM Punk, I’ve only ever had crushes on female celebrities. What kind of flowers would you plant in your garden? I dunno, I’ve never felt interested in growing flowers...or a garden, in general. Would you rather have a flat tire or overheated car? Flat tire. As far as I know that can be fixed a little more easily than a completely overheated car. What's the safest form of transportation? Private car, lmao. That’s really your safest bet in this country. Do you believe that kids should be taught abstinence? They can be taught about it so they’re aware of what it means and asks of them, but kids should also be reminded that at the end of the day it’s an option that they can choose to take or not. When's the next time you'll go to the grocery store? I only ever go when my dad is home because he likes having us along, so maybe in a month or two. When's the last time you went to Chuck E. Cheese? Never. What's your favorite cheese or cheese flavored food? Mozzarella sticks. Do you like black licorice? It’s decent, at best. I won’t spit it out, but it’s not my first candy of choice either. Can you count to 100 in another language? Two, Filipino and Spanish. We use Spanish when referring to currency, so that’s why it’s easy to memorize. Like I’d say I have labing-limang (fifteen in Filipino) notebooks, but when I have to say fifteen pesos, we say it as kinse (fifteen in Spanish). Idk, it’s a weird quirk with Filipinos but yeah. What's the nearest thing to you that can bounce? I don’t think there is anything bouncy in the living room at the moment. Do you hate cleaning? If I have to do it I get lazy. But when I actually want to clean, it can be relaxing. Do you clear dishes in the garbage disposal or in the garbage can? My mom takes out the garbage. Do you watch anything on the E! network? I don’t think our cable comes with E! so the only times I get to encounter it is when we’re staying over at hotels. I like having Keeping Up With the Kardashians on when we do have that channel. Have you ever tried out or thought of trying out for American Idol? I loved the show during its peak days, but I never had the desire to join it. Where's your car keys? Upstairs, on my bedside drawer. Did you keep any momentos of high school dances? From my high school ball, yes. I still have my old gown, photos with Mike, the instrument he used to ask me to ball (a Starbucks cup with the proposal written on it by the barista), and my old corsage. I like keeping stuff like that around so that I don’t forget, not because I still like him lmao. My prom could fuck off, and I have nothing from that night. Do you still have clothes from your high school dances? I have no idea. My high school prom dress disappeared after a while, but I still have my ball gown. The last person you laid in bed with said... I don’t know what you’re referring to but our last conversation was her telling me to drive home safe. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? I can’t. Which celebrities would you want to hang out with at a bbq? The Friends cast. Do you think you could do better drawings than Napolean Dynamite? I have never seen the movie. What are you doing on Superbowl Sunday? Isn’t it over already? I saw my aunts and uncles post about it on Facebook so I’m pretty sure it’s over. Anyway, I don’t care for football. Ever been to the original 13 colonies? No. Have you ever been to a concert that got out of control? Not really. The most ‘rebellious’ thing that ever happened was at my One Direction concert. The organizers made the stupid decision of holding the show on FLAT concert grounds and not a stadium, for a concert that probably held 10,000-20,000 people. Can you imagine holding that on just the GROUND??? Anyway, my sister and I had the third best tickets which was supposed to bring us to the semi-front, but it turned out to be so far from the stage. Everyone from my section all the way to the back resorted to standing up on the monobloc chairs which really isn’t allowed, but duh it’s One Direction and we wanted to see them. Harry had to call us out and ask us to get down from the chairs and just stand on the ground for our safety, but we kept protesting until they just gave up and continued the show. What's the last thing you watched on tv? Titanic, but we watched it on Netflix. I haven’t seen cable TV in a whiiiiiiile.

Whose show should be cancelled? 13 Reasons Why. Do you like Lindsay Lohan as a blonde? It doesn’t bother me. When's the last time you ate fruit? Last Friday I tried some of Laurice’s green mango with bagoong. Can you jump rope double dutch? Nope. I know jump rope but I never went that far.

#survey #surveys

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wisepuma23 · 6 years

Text

The Butterfly’s Shelter Chapter 3

First Chapter - Previous Chapter

Notes:

puma - okay okay this is late! I know >.< But gosh darn it I made it longer so it’s worth the wait!! And a big round of applause for Tashi to draw two wonderful illustrations for this chapter. And her writing helped <33 So much!! Also, shout out to @my-happy-little-bean and @sher-soc-the-famder for being my betas for this chapter!! Love them. Also, I’m not going to make promises for the next chapter, but I do think it’s gonna be around the end of November. Hopefully! Also, I’m trying out a taglist so let me know if you want to be on it!

Tashi - I had so much fun working on this chapter and doing the illustrations for it! Thank you to the betas and for you followers who have been so patient! Also shout out to Puma cause they're always reminding me when my illustrations are inconsistent to what's in the fic so I can fix them! I appreciate it so much!

Warnings: Language, Minor Injury

Read on AO3

Logan opened his eyes to a wide blue sky. Grass waved in his vision as blurry confusion took hold of him. Where was he? Logan groaned as he sat up, clutching his head. Any knowledge he had slipped through his fingers. He rubbed his eyes as the wind whistled through the yellow grass in all directions.

He was in the middle of nowhere.

Fear clutched his heart as he stood up. Grass stretched to the horizon, no matter how much he spun around, the sight of fields in all directions. This...this wasn’t right! Logan’s mind raced as he took in the idyllic scenery. It was something straight out of one of Roman’s storybooks. But there were no houses. No cars. Nothing but the faint buzz of insects and the flowers.

‘Where...where was home?’

I want to go home.

Logan stumbled from the wave of homesickness that almost overtook him. This wasn’t home, but where was home? He...he didn’t remember.

God, I can’t be lost.

Logan patted his pockets but he had no phone, no compass, and certainly no money. The sun! Yes, the sun was important.

Logan blinked up at the wide open blue skies again. Birds flew up so high that they were nothing more than black dots. His world tilted as he saw himself from a bird’s eye. Small, unassuming, and a black dot in a yellow field that stretched to infinity. Nausea made his legs weak and with a thud, he fell down to the grass. The wind whipped through his hair as existential dread crawled up his spine and whispered in his ear.

You’re inconsequential.

Tiny in the grand design.

How can you ever be a good parent to--

Logan blinked. To who? He racked his brain. A name on the tip of his tongue. A knot of anger twisted in his chest as the name slipped through his fingers. Failed memory retrieval.

Logan pulled on his hair, an old habit from his formative years; pain pain pain. Who?! He almost yanked a fistful out when--

The sky shook.

Logan looked up to see a bright light streaking across the sky. Distant rumbling disturbed the quiet peace of the fields. A star! Logan walked forward as he followed the trails of dust scattered in the atmosphere. In one blink to the next, the sky went dark. Then, thousands of stars lit up the sky; but Logan only had eyes for one.

A star was falling.

Logan broke out into a run. Leaves and twigs broke under his shoes as the wind’s whistling grew louder. The rumbling in his ears marched like a heartbeat. He had to catch it! Logan held out his arms as he chased the star streaking far overhead. Questions wracked his brain as his breaths grew short.

All stars had names.

Logan looked up at the glittering constellations, vainly hoping to see an empty spot; was it Sirius? A or B? Canopus, Vega, Rigel?

‘No’, his gut answered, ‘that isn’t his name’. Polaris, Pollux, or even Alpha Centauri?

No, no, what was his name?! Think, think, think!! Remember.

The tip of his tongue burned with the word! If only he could find the empty space it left behind. Yet all the stars in Orion’s Belt, both Ursas, and in the Zodiacs were still there, offering him no clues to the star’s identity.

A wolf’s cry split the night. Invisible teeth nipped at his heels as the grass rustled with more wolves. The star grew brighter until it outshone all the others as it careened down further to the horizon in front of him. A hill rose up in the distance. Logan ran but he couldn’t outrun the wolves. They licked their chops as they stared up at the falling star.

No, no, he’s mine.

Logan snarled as he pushed ahead. Run, run, run! His thoughts were racing faster than him; if he jumped from the hill, he could catch him. Before wolves could ensnare the little celestial in their wide smiles and bury him in a place where no star could shine.

The hill rose up before him; so close! He outstretched his hands upwards.

Suddenly, he felt teeth tearing into his shins. He let out a scream as he crumpled to the ground. Jagged rocks bit into his arms as his shins burned with sparks.

Logan craned his head upwards towards the glittering star, the light refracting in his broken glasses. A heavy breath panted down the back of his neck. A stench of animal permeated the air as saliva dripped down his collar.

Logan raised a shaking hand up to the star as three wolves rushed past him. There was no time. Run, run, run away!

“Virgil!” Logan screamed before sharp teeth clamped around his throat.

His eyes snapped open as he clutched his throat. Confusion roiled through his mind as he felt smooth skin under his fingers instead.

A nightmare…

Logan drew in a shuddering breath as he leaned forward on the couch as he rubbed his temple. He’d never had one so vivid before. Logan didn’t take much stock in dreams; they were nothing more than hogwash and subconscious mutterings.

Logan took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He breathed in through his nose until his chest loosened.

The sound of the floorboards creaking echoed in his ears, and his head snapped up at the sound.

Standing in front of him was his sheepish best friend, frozen in place. His sunglasses almost slipping off his nose.

Logan glanced up at the clock; was it really Thursday already? Logan shook his head as Nate came closer and handed him a piping hot cup of green tea.

“How long have you been waiting?” Logan said as he took the cup. “I didn’t mean to sleep in so late.”

“.....Ten minutes,” Nate said, looking over his sunglasses with soulful brown eyes. “And you look like hell for a guy who slept till noon.”

“Five hours,” Logan murmured to himself. “A new record…”

Nate’s eyes narrowed as he pushed his sunglasses over his head.

“Please tell me you aren’t sleeping less than the recommended six to eight hours of sleep. Insomnia can be fatal.”

Logan quirked a smile.

“Perhaps in your shows, but you know I don’t have a history of chronic insomnia. It’s a rare disorder after all,” Logan took a sip of his tea, his shoulders relaxing as it settled in his stomach. “Virgil is the cause, and the only treatment is time. I’ll be fine.”

Nate raised an eyebrow at him.

Logan let out an exhausted exhale as he held his teacup tighter. Scrutiny always made his skin itch and led to him feeling a few sizes too small.

He pushed the memory of his father’s disappointed glare out of his mind. Nate wasn’t his father. Even if his observance skills were off the charts, his eyes held more kindness than his parents ever did. They weren’t awful by any stretch of the imagination, but they weren’t paradigms of greatness either.

“So, Daddio–” Logan snapped out of his thoughts as Nate sat next to him with a soft smile– “when will I see my godson, huh?”

Logan coughed on his gulp of scalding tea. “Oh, excuse me. Yes, we can go see him. His name is Virgil.”

“Yeah, I know,” Nate said as he helped Logan up from the couch. “You don’t shut up about him. His name was the first thing you said to me two days ago and it took you five minutes to stop gushing to tell me who Virgil was. Also you send blurry pictures of your son at 3 AM. And at 9 am. And at--”

Logan adjusted his half-made tie. “I may have gone overboard. Apologies.”

Nate threw off his leather coat onto a table to reveal a loose muscle shirt with dog tags clinking around his perpetually tanned neck. He waved away Logan’s apology like he never minded it at all in the first place. Logan pushed opened Virgil’s bedroom door a crack and then held up a finger to Nate. Quiet.

Logan padded over to Virgil’s bassinet and the exhaustion in his bones ebbed at the peaceful expression on Virgil’s face. His hair stuck up in all directions like a dark halo. His little fingers twitching in his sleep and the tiny little puffs from his tiny lungs paff paff paff in perfect rhythm...

Logan gently picked him up and almost sighed in relief that he hadn’t woken up. Nate watched him with wide eyes as Logan walked over to him.

“Here,” Logan whispered, and held back a laugh of dark amusement at Nate’s sudden anxiety. “Support his head with the crook of your arm and hold him close.”

“Okay, oKAY!” Nate said as he held Virgil in the crook of his defined arms. “Shit, I didn’t mean to be loud. Sorry, I should stop cursing around a baby. He’s just so fudging cute.”

Logan smirked. “Fuck.”

He muffled his laugh at Nate’s face.

“He won’t talk so soon,” he added, almost reassuringly.

“I don’t know,” Nate whispered as he ran a finger over Virgil’s face. “He’ll be as smart as his daddy. And I wouldn’t be surprised if he talks early.”

The tips of Logan’s ears burned at the praise, "We aren't biologically related."

Nate turned around with a smirk. "Like biological parents make any sort of difference. How they raise you– that makes a difference."

Logan held out his arms to take Virgil again, and Nate readily set Virgil back into Logan's waiting arms once more. Virgil sniffled in his sleep. Logan let out a breath, thankful that Virgil hadn't woken up. Logan set Virgil back onto his bassinet and pushed aside his wispy hair to kiss his head.

"Sweet dreams, son."

Virgil gurgled out a sleepy giggle.

These two minutes of pure bliss made up for the rest of the day's hard work of cleaning, changing, and feeding Virgil. Having a baby was no easy task. There were no allocated break times and sleep was inconsistent at best. Logan ran a hand through his greasy hair as he gestured to Nate to leave. Logan left the bedroom door open a crack in case Virgil cried. Even if he had the baby monitor, Logan preferred to be cautious.

Logan crossed his arms as they came to a stop. Nate rested a hand on Logan's arm, gentle and heartfelt. He looked away from Nate's all too piercing eyes. His best friend's remarkable intellect is how they became friends in the first place. However, it made him too perceptive when it came to things like this.

Nate knew Logan was in love before he even knew himself.

"Something is bothering you," Nate said, not even phrased as a question in the slightest of ways. "Spit it out."

Logan shifted in place and then craned upwards to meet Nate's eyes. He rubbed his neck as he sighed. No use dragging it out.

"I had a nightmare," Logan explained. "But it was nothing. Dreams are nonsensical mutterings and it would bore you and--"

"Logan."

Logan huffed out a breath, "Fine."

Nate guided Logan to the couch as Logan told him everything. Nate winced as his dear friend described the teeth at the end. Logan rubbed his arms; he didn't believe in hidden messages in dreams, but Nate had a way of interpreting them into meaningful advice. But it always started with…

"Did you drink water today?" Nate asked with one arm on the back of the couch.

"...No."

"And you haven't been sleeping right," Nate tsked. "Babe, you need to eat and sleep right. Wait, when was the last time you ate?"

"...I can’t remember."

"Sonova--" Nate clasped his hands in front of his face and then dropped it. "LOGAN!" He pulled out a lollipop from a pocket and popped it into Logan's mouth.

"Suck on this. It's cherry, your favorite, and I'll whip up some breakfast."

Logan's eyes widened then took the lollipop out to say. "It's noon."

Nate pushed his wrist to put the lollipop back in. "Time isn't real. But your bad eating habits are."

The sweet flavor of chemical cherry burst on his tongue. Logan sucked on it and immediately his hunger pangs ebbed away. It wouldn't be enough, but judging by Nate's march to the kitchen, he knew that he wouldn't need to wait much longer for real food.

A soft smile grew despite his own attempt to stamp it down. No one told him a side effect of having a son would be smiling much more.

His own mother certainly didn't exhibit the same symptoms.

Logan's smile disappeared. So much for smiling more.

Nate came back with a platter of buttered toast and milk. Logan took the tray with a grateful nod.

"Stress," Nate said as he took a bite from Logan's toast. "That's what your dream meant."

"But what about--"

"It's stress, baby!"

"The wolves---"

Nate shook his head with a cocky grin. "Stress wolves. Come on, when I ever been wrong?"

Logan shook his head, "You need to work on your cockiness."

"And you with your pride."

"Touche." Logan conceded with a nod. He took a bite of his toast, slathered with a heavy helping of Crofters jam, and the taste possessed him. Logan dug into his breakfast like a madman. One bite after another until nothing left but crumbs littered his plate. Nate laughed at the sticky jam around Logan’s face. He raised a napkin and wiped the jam off as Logan grumbled at his manhandling.

“Mmmph!” Logan glared at him, “You need to know the definition of boundaries. I am not an infant.”

Nate laughed a hearty sound from the depths of his stomach, and pulled Logan in for a hug, despite Logan’s incessant squirming. Logan giggled out protests as Nate’s strong arms encircled him; unfortunately, there was nothing to stop Nate’s affections. Logan laid breathless on Nate’s chest as he let a fuzzy feeling overtake him.

He’s never felt happier with a son sleeping in another room, his best friend hugging the daylights out of him, and as he snuggled deeper, the dread of Playdate Saturday faded away.

Logan sat in the driveway, fiddling with the keys, unable to turn them in the ignition. Virgil gurgled around a blue pacifier as he kicked in his car seat. Logan wondered what dreams went through his son's head. No, incorrect, dreams were illogical and nonsensical. However, he did wonder if Virgil had nightmares. Logan's insides froze, what if he had nightmares from the fire?

Logan shook his head, no; he spent every waking moment with him and he would've noticed if Virgil had distressing dreams. And he couldn't escape the feeling that his worry over this simple detail was nothing more than a distraction from what truly ate him up.

Patton's bakery was only a ten-minute drive at the edges of the market district. Yet Logan sat in his car and waited for any burst of courage to go face his best friend.

He watched his fingers glide along the wheel of the car, hyper-focused on the grounding texture. Logan bit back a sigh of frustration at his own cowardice. He knew Patton; he knew his kind smile, his eagerness, his excitability, and his deeply soulful eyes. He knew Patton like his own mind. Perhaps it was those very eyes he feared. Seeing his deep and bright blue eyes staring at him with, what? Shock? Confusion? Anger?

Patton’s kindness swelled from him with no end and tended to be very open-minded. He never hurt a soul in his life. So why did Logan’s palms sweat at the idea of telling him about Virgil? He could just get them both back into the house and call him first but what would he even say?

Why did this have to be so hard?

Then again, Logan did miss seeing Roman and his toothy grin. The kid was adorable too. However, the cardboard sword Roman made himself less so. He carried it everywhere, even to kindergarten, and Logan suffered many 'defeats' at the end of it. Five years of existence had done nothing to extinguish his bundle of energy. Perhaps in ten years, Roman would be less... dramatic.

The click of his seatbelt surprised him; he hadn't even realized that while lost in thoughts, the ice in his bones disappeared.

Logan looked up in the rearview mirror one last time to see Virgil properly strapped in. He looked far too tiny in the red car seat. The belts were fine but were they? Logan's fingers thrummed the wheel and with an exasperated sigh he clicked off his seatbelt again. He turned around and leaned into the backseat to check Virgil's straps for what must have been the umpteenth time. Luck favored the cautious after all.

Logan smiled at the outfit he had picked out for Virgil. It was a striped white and green onesie with a hoodie with two horns sewn on it. Daddy's Little Monster was written across it in a dark cursive script. There weren't many choices in the clearance aisle, but most were for upcoming holidays such as Halloween. Objectively, Logan had to say it looked cute on him. Positively adorable.

Logan pulled on the straps and breathed out as it didn't give. Good. That was good… Logan kissed Virgil's forehead and then settled himself back in the front. He clicked his belt back on. Now to turn the ignition on.

Now, to turn it on.

His thoughts drifted back to the memory of Roman's bright grin as he made grabby hands for Logan to pick him up.

The engine growled to life. Logan winced at the sound and resisted the urge to turn it back off. It would damage the ignition over time if he frivolously turned it off and on to his every nervous whim. Logan changed gears and reversed out of his parking spot. He pulled out of the parking lot and well on his way to Patton’s bakery.

Ten minutes later, Logan pulled into the parking lot of Patton’s bakery. Bright pink and blue umbrellas glowed against the backdrop of the grey sky. Logan turned the knob down to quiet the weather report on how it’d rain tomorrow. And the day after that. Logan turned the ignition off and let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding at the sudden silence.

Logan looked up at the neon shine of a pink cupcake with rainbow sprinkles adorned over the bakery. Milena’s Treats, it read in purple cursive below. Pink light spilled onto the dash of his car from the sign, soft rays catching on the bumps of his knuckles. A corner of his lip curled at the sight, if it were any brighter, Logan wouldn’t be surprised if the ungodly glow could be seen from space.

Logan craned his head over his shoulder to glance at Virgil one last time. He hadn’t woken up yet. He looked down at the car clock, three in the afternoon, a time when Virgil commonly fell asleep. His old routine had gone up in flames, and died screaming, so it stood to reason to create a new one around Virgil’s. He found that he didn’t mind the thought at all.

“We’re going to go see your...uncle,” Logan said as he unclicked his belt, “I’m sure you’ll love him. All the kids do, or at least, more than me.”

Logan stepped out of his car with a brown tote bag on one shoulder full of the usual supplies. He shut the door with a gentle click. Then opened the door to the back and picked up Virgil gingerly from his car seat and into his arms. Virgil’s little hands twitched against his dark purple sweater vest and his pacifier cool against his collarbone. Unable to resist, he pulled the hoodie up over Virgil’s head against the slight chill of the fall day.

Logan locked the door with a jingle of his keys. Once. Twice. Then three times to ensure the memory of his car being locked secured in his head. Logan rubbed Virgil’s back in circles as he walked toward the bakery doors. He stopped dead as he saw himself reflected in the windows. God, what even was his hair?

Logan wore a rumpled white dress shirt under his vest and he had rolled up his sleeves. Better to test milk bottles that way. Dark bags under his eyes was a new permanent fixation, no matter how many times Nate texted him the past week about better sleeping habits. Logan looked down and let out a sigh at the new spot of drool as Virgil slept against his chest. Another shirt to throw in the wash when he got home.

Logan didn’t look his best. A vast understatement on his part, no doubt. It mattered not, Logan needed to introduce Patton to his new son, Virgil Crofters.

A burst of giddiness bloomed at the back of his mind, far more subdued than the first time he held Virgil, but no doubt the shock will settle in eventually.

Surely so.

Logan took in a breath and opened the door. A bell ringed his arrival and the sound was enough for Virgil to grumble in his sleep. He knew babies slept deeply but he hadn’t realized they slept like the dead. He certainly didn’t get that impression when Roman at this age woke at every jolt and jingle and certainly had trouble believing it when Virgil spent half the night crying for Logan to feed him, change him and fetch his dropped pacifier. Logan shook his head, better not to look a gift horse in the mouth, he should count himself lucky he slept for four hours straight today.

The chatter of customers were quiet. Logan came after the lunch rush so he didn’t distract Patton from his job more than necessary. His eyes scanned around the bakery: more empty tables than taken, but no sight of his best friend. Kitchen, then.

Logan drifted to the counter as he rang the bell, “Patton?”

The back of his neck burned with the weight of heavy stares. Babies often garnered attention but he couldn’t help but shift in place. The chatter slipped into furtive whispers.

“Patton?” Logan called out again, “Are you there?”

The kitchen doors whooshed open as Patton walked backward out with his hands full of a fresh batch of sugar cookies. The frosting was an eye-searing orange that Logan squinted at. Patton had a sweet tooth even if it killed him someday. Patton opened the glass counter with his hips and pushed it in under the soft golden lights.

“One second Lolo!” Patton said, his pink tongue sticking out in concentration, “I didn’t realize the Spooky Sugar cookies would sell out so fast.”

“It’s September.”

Patton stood up, his smile wide.

“It’s never too early for Hallowe--whOA!” Patton paused in what he was doing and took off his oven mitts, placing them on the counter. His lips curled into a smile and he leaned over the display case, reaching his hand forward.

“Babysitting today?” Patton cooed. Logan took an instinctive step back from him. Patton glanced up at him, crestfallen, but moved back down to finish the display of cookies in the case. He wiped a few bat-shaped sprinkles off the plate to make it neater and popped them into his mouth, but he turned to pop one of the leftover cookies into a cute little bag and handed it to a woman who had been standing nearby waiting patiently for her order.

“Have a wonderfully spooky day!” Patton called after her and then wiped his hands on his apron and looked back at Logan. His crestfallen expression gone like it was never there. Patton turned to Logan with a smile bright enough that Logan almost believed it was real.

“Sorry about that,” he chuckled lightly, “so Logan, who’s this little fellow here?”

Logan faltered, “Uh, uhm. This is…”

Patton’s smile faded a little as he looked between Virgil and up at Logan, and it struck Logan that he might be perplexed at his continuing hesitation. He reached out a hand over the counter again; Logan leaned back on his heels. Hurt crossed Patton’s features before a new smile stretched over it, not quite reaching his eyes. Guilt and shame twisted Logan's stomach at knots. Here it comes.

He… he never meant to hurt him. Especially for a lie that had lasted for the past two years. Logan swallowed past the thickness in his throat.

“Patton, this….” It was now or never. Logan had to face this reality and Patton deserved to know. If he held back now they'd never truly be friends. He had to do this.

“This–” He let out a steadying breath– “is Virgil Crofters.” Logan didn’t even attempt to hide his smile as he said the words. “I adopted him last Sunday. He’s my son.”

Patton's face grew ashen as his jaw dropped. A strange sort of croaking fell out from his lips. It was a good thing he'd set the trays down already because he looked like he would have dropped them flat on the floor.

Patton shook his head as if he didn't believe it. He came around the counter and sat onto a stool and ran flour-covered hands through his brown curls. Logan grimaced at the action, no doubt he had to wash his hair later after that….

"What?" Patton whispered, and the sound broke Logan's heart with how much hurt there seemed to be beneath it. "Logan, what?"

Logan opened his mouth to try and speak when a loud sniffle broke his train of thought. Awake and sniffling, Virgil dug his face into his collarbone. He seemed to detect the tense atmosphere. Another thing that Logan had observed over their first week together: when frightened, Virgil clung onto him for dear life. Logan bounced him gently and rubbed his back.

"Shush, it's okay," Logan said, his voice neutral and serious in his low drawl, "Daddy is here. I got you."

Virgil blinked up at him with those grey eyes. Logan smiled as Virgil's hoodie fell down from the action. His cheeks looked rosier than the sickly color he first saw. Perhaps Virgil was recovering from Colic faster than he thought? He had read papers, articles, and even doctors’ case files on the illness and it was rare but not impossible. He rather hoped Virgil had a faster recovery than most because he wouldn’t be in constant pain anymore.

"Oh my goodness gracious." Patton had his hands over his mouth. "You aren't pulling my leg."

"Uh, no…?" Logan said, "And why would I pull your leg? What goal does that achieve? Would that not hurt?"

Logan covered Virgil's ears in time to shield Patton's high pitch squeal that made every dog bark in a ten block radius. Patton bounced in place as he threw around a million questions too quick for Logan to process. Virgil looked up at him and Logan rolled his eyes in return. Truly, why did he love this man?

Virgil giggled, a sort of laugh that tinkled like bells and was as light as a feather. He couldn't look away from the sight. His son's first laugh; among the thousands of the words in the English language, only one was enough. Wow...

"Oh my gosh!"

The two of them flinched. "Inside voices, Patton."

Logan looked up and he froze at the expression on Patton's face. His eyes sparkled alight as his hands were held up in his patented too cute, I'm going to die pose. If Patton sparkled any brighter, he would outshine his garish sign outside. Logan never felt so much like an exposed wire and wished he wore a tie or even a binder labeled "Taxes". He floundered as he gathered up Virgil closer as a shield.

"CUTE CUTE CUTE!!!" Patton hopped around Logan; he already had his phone out and the shutter went off every second. "God, Virgil is such a cutie pie!! Aren't you?" Patton cooed as he snapped another. "Yes you areeee, yes you are!! So handsome like his father."

Patton looked down at his phone, "Oh wow, you sure he's adopted?"

"What do you mean?"

Patton held up his phone to show him, "Both of you got the same look of utter contempt. Boy, he doesn't like the camera either. Like father like son!" His grinning was terribly insufferable.

Virgil squinted in the photo, his grey eyes held a piercing glare. While Logan squinted in much the same way. He never did like candid photos. Much more stressful than a scheduled photo like for his driver's license. Patton tapped at his phone and within a few moments later, Logan heard a buzz from his back pocket.

He mentally noted to save it as his new lock screen later.

Patton came closer and held out a finger to Virgil, "Awww, he's such a cute little bean!"

Virgil burst into tears and wailed. The customers flinched and some Logan could see were covering their ears. Patton winced and gestured for Logan to come behind the counter and into the kitchens. Logan bounced Virgil and shushed him quietly as they followed Patton inside.

Patton brushed his fingers against the small of Logan's back as he led them to a soft chair at the far back next to a spiral staircase upstairs. The touch burned in its wake. His face heated up as he took the seat with a grateful nod. Patton had a habit of giving Logan heart palpitations without him ever realizing he did so. Curse him.

Virgil wept against Logan's shoulder. "It will be alright, little starlight. Daddy's here," Logan rubbed his back in the hopes he relieved some of his boy's pain, "It's just Patton."

Logan squinted into Virgil's shiny eyes for any cloudiness of pain. Perhaps it was his Colic acting up, even if he's been recovering steadily. Logan bounced him on his knee as he talked to him. Patton went upstairs for a few minutes then came back down with something hidden behind his back.

"Hey there, Virgil." Patton cooed as he kneeled in between Logan's legs, Logan refused to acknowledge it even as he seared the image in his brain for later, "Look what I got you!"

Patton waved a stuffed lion in front of Virgil. The surprise was enough to startle Virgil out of crying. Logan pulled out a tissue from his pocket and wiped Virgil of snot and tears. His son scrunched his face up at the action. He would have to deal with it; cleanliness and hygiene were paramount to healthy living.

Virgil cooed as he reached out to grab the lion. His little fingers outstretched and had total faith in his dad's strong grip to hold him steady. Patton held it out to him as Virgil grabbed an ear of the lion. It promptly fell to the floor and out of his frankly uncoordinated handhold. He glared down at the lion as he pouted at his failure and made audible whimpering noises. If they weren’t careful he might burst into tears again.

"You'll figure it out, kiddo!" Patton beamed as he picked it up again, then looked up at Logan, "Yeah, Cow here used to be Roman's favorite until he learned about dragons and white horses." Patton slipped into one of his more fond smiles, "But you can have him."

"Cow?" Logan said as he took the lion, Virgil's eyes brightened as he grasped for it, "Are you quite sure, Patton? I quite remember Roman throwing a tantrum about him when he was three when it went 'missing'."

"He dragged the poor thing through the mud! I had to wash it!" Patton said, then blushed at his outburst, "All I'm saying is that I know you well enough to know that you might need some toys–" Logan opened his mouth but Patton pushed on– "that are not puzzles."

"It's never too early..." Logan mumbled.

Virgil giggled around his pacifier as Logan shook the lion in front of him. Fascinating. Patton held out his finger again but much more slowly than last time. Logan looked between them and hoped Virgil didn't hate him. Well, hate was a strong word, or if babies were even capable of hatred. Most likely they did but Logan didn't want to test that hypothesis out.

Virgil unsteadily reached out his hand and then gripped Patton's finger. He clung onto Logan's sweater for dear life with the other. Patton's face at that exact moment of acceptance went through several expressions that Logan couldn't describe. His wonderfully blue eyes went wide with surprise then grew shiny with stars. And tears, definitely tears. Logan now didn't feel so ashamed about crying profusely for the past week anymore.

Virgil simply had that effect on people it seemed.

Patton stood up and took off his glasses to look up at the ceiling. He blinked and Logan froze at the quiet sniffle. Patton easily cried, but unfortunately, when he cried, Logan soon followed. This cause and effect phenomenon made it hard for them to watch even remotely sad movies together.

Patton set his glasses back on with a rare expression of fragility. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He couldn’t seem to look up just then and that gnawed at Logan’s heartstrings but it was only fair as Logan couldn't meet his eyes. "I...I had expressed my desires in the past about fatherhood. But you told me to wait for a partner, romantic or not, to raise a child with."

The leaden weight of Patton's gaze shifting to look pointedly at him made his skin burn at the contact. Not in the pleasant yet stomach-flop kind of way. The sort that made him want to fling himself into the sun to repent for his sins. If Logan didn’t know embarrassed guilt before he sure knew it now. Love was funny like that.

Virgil's cooing echoed in his ears but it wasn't enough to drown out his own insecurities.

"Logan, I--"

"I couldn't find a partner, Patton." Logan said as his shoulders slumped, "Haven't you said it yourself once? Love has failed me." Patton flinched. "I don't need to fulfill societal milestones to the letter. I can’t simply wait for the one–" For you – "anymore! I...I need to do whatever in my control to live a happy and fulfilled life. And I simply thought you didn't support me in that endeavor..."

"I'm so sorry!!" Patton cried, and here came the waterworks; damn it all. "I was thinking about myself and how hard it was to raise Roman on my own. I didn't want the same thing to happen to you! Because it was hard Logan, it was really hard and it’s going to be really hard!"

Logan twisted his nose in his best attempt to stem the tears at the back of his throat, "But....you made it seem so easy."

Patton barked out a laugh, "It's not. It's really not..."

Logan huffed out a laugh. "I suppose you were right. I'm sorry too. I should've called you earlier." Logan looked up and finally met Patton's eyes head on as his voice wobbled. "I was a mess. I have no idea what I'm doing, I puked. Several times. Oh god, I never puked before and--"

Patton bent over at the waist and engulfed Logan into a hug, careful so he wouldn’t crush Virgil. Logan dropped Cow in shock. A few moments passed then Logan sank into the touch with a sigh and brought a free hand to grasp at the space between Patton's shoulder blades. His fingers shook like pool noodles in a storm. Patton shushed and rocked them gently. Virgil grumbled below the hug. Logan let out a wet giggle and couldn’t fight a smile off his face at imagining Virgil’s little pout.

The tangled mess of his thoughts and anxieties smoothed out as Patton hummed a lullaby in his ear. Every inch of contact they shared made Logan experience what he called "Heart Pat-pilations" and symptoms he had noted over time often included extensive blushing, processing errors, and a reluctance to let go. Such as now. He clutched Patton's shirt, hoping against hope it would never end.

Just for a few seconds longer. Please.

Patton pulled away, with a cheeky smile, "Hey, you can make it up to me by letting me see this goofball more often, huh?"

Logan released his white-knuckled grip of Patton’s shirt as he raised an eyebrow, "Consider it done."

The emptiness between his fingers from the lack of contact wailed. Logan picked up Cow off the floor again and hoped the stuffed lion would abate the feeling. However, nothing could replace the burning of Patton’s touch. That delectable taste of madness at the edge of his awareness. Tortured love life aside, Virgil seemed to enjoy the appearance of Cow again as his giggles filled the air.

Patton held out his arms with a shy smile. Logan hesitated then let Patton take Virgil from his arms at last. Patton beamed as he rubbed an absent thumb against Virgil's cheek. Logan stood up and clutched the stuffed lion in a death grip against his chest. Virgil tried to grab Patton's glasses but the baker saw it coming a mile already and leaned out of his reach.

Patton moved Virgil to rest in the crook of his arms despite his squirming, "Golly, I've missed Roman when he was this age. Full of wiggles and loud as can be. It's been so long."

"If I recall, both you and your ex-wife–" Patton winced as Logan cleared his throat– "didn't get a wink of sleep and went through living hell for the first year of Roman's life."

Patton leaned down to press his forehead against Virgil, "God, I missed that smell. You don't forget it."

"Patton?"

Patton wrenched his head up, his face beet red with embarrassment. Virgil's pacifier threatened to fall out from how much he giggled. Logan resisted the urge to palm Patton's cheek to feel the heat from his blush as he walked closer. Such a gorgeous flush against his unrequited love's freckles.

"Sorry," Patton said, his blush fading, "It's weird. I know it's weird. You can't just sniff people's babies without permission. No wait, I meant like--"

"Patton." Logan smiled as Patton's babbling came to a stop. "There isn't much I don't understand, and if or when there comes a day where I do, I'm sure I will respect it."

Patton broke out into a sunny smile, "Oh golly, you say the sweetest things! I'm the luckiest man alive to have you as my best friend!"

Logan's smile grew a little sadder. "I feel the same way."

A few beats of silence passed as the two of them shuffled in place. Logan squeezed Cow tighter; the stuffed lion was the same size as his son, but smelled too much like old pizza and spilled hot chocolate stains to be an exact replica of Virgil. Logan buried his face into Cow's head and hoped the ground would swallow him whole. Just end his suffering already.

Logan peeked over Cow to glance at Patton and Virgil. Logan couldn't decipher Patton's expression as he baby-talked down at Virgil. A mix of thoughtfulness and sadness, Logan could tell from the slight pinch at the corner of his eyes.

"What's his story?" Patton said, at last, his voice quiet. "He's so tiny, but why choose him? I don't understand how could anyone could give this little treasure up."

Logan squeezed Cow even tighter as he snarled, "No one did. His family-" He swallowed past the anger at the back of his throat.

"His family died in a fire. But his extended family believed Virgil to be a bad omen and–” He couldn’t help but let out a bitter huff at the word– “ abandoned him at the hospital." Logan took a breath as his voice grew more unsteady. "They...they didn't visit him even once when he could've been dying from the smoke. He could've passed away among strangers, all alone in a room with beeping machinery, scared and crying....”

The thought made Logan’s gut twist like he’d been stabbed and the knife twisted in circles. “But he didn't."

Logan looked up and balked at the sheer fire alit behind Patton's eyes. He wondered whether Patton still kept his shotgun hidden under the counter. He never had bullets since he never actually wanted to hurt anyone, but at this moment, Logan wouldn't be surprised if he did. Patton looked ready to march out and punch Virgil's old family's lights out.

Logan cleared his throat.

"As for why I chose him? Because he needed me. As simple as that." He brushed a hand over Virgil's head, "He was so small and he was the only one in that room that was going to be looked over because he was sick." His heart squeezed with a sting of pain. "How could I say no to eyes this big?”

Patton’s fire softened into embers. “...You’re a good man, Lo. And I think you made the right choice.”

Logan looked up into Patton’s eyes, that wonderful shade of blue that haunted his dreams. He...he said he made the right choice. Logan preened at the praise as the top of his ears burned. Logan’s palms grew sweaty against Cow’s knotted fur. Patton’s approval made his heart soar. His worries were for naught.

“Ah, that is ki-kind of you to say.” Logan started to say, his voice faltering in this rare moment between them, Patton’s soft look tangling his tongue. Then a loud slam echoed from the bakery. Patton looked away, their tender moment lost to life’s innumerable surprises, and his heart shriveled a little more.

“Daaaadd!!!” a voice shrieked, “You were late! I had to walk home!”

Patton glanced up at the clock. “Oh, shoot! I had to be there to walk Roman home five minutes ago. I better go see him.”

Logan gestured to the door, after you; Patton stuck out his tongue. Virgil’s little grey eyes shone with ire as they made their way back out to the front. Logan held the door open for Patton and they were greeted by the sight of Roman pressing his face against the glass of Patton’s display counter. Patton cleared his throat. Roman shot up and leveled a glare at his father as he crossed his arms petulantly. Logan set Cow aside on the counter.

“Where were you?!” Roman stomped his foot, his little Mickey Mouse backpack jingled on his back, “I can’t believe you forgot me!”

Logan pushed past Patton and kneeled down to Roman’s level and put his hands on Roman’s shoulder. “Did you walk home, Roman? You’re far too young to be doing that.”

Patton adjusted Virgil to lay against his chest to put a hand on his hip. “Who let you walk away? You should’ve waited for me.”

Roman glared up at Patton with tears stinging at the corner of his eyes. “You should’ve been there!”

“Roman,” Logan said sharply. “It’s far too dangerous for a child your age to be walking alone in the city. Next time wait patiently until your father picks you up.” Roman pouted and kicked his feet. “Even if he’s only a block away.”

A hand landed on Logan’s shoulder, “I’m his dad, but thank you.”

Logan jolted and then stood up.

“Excuse me, you’re right: it isn’t my place, I am sorry.” He let Patton walk past him as he rubbed his arms. Patton was more of a father than he could ever be, no matter how many books he read.

“Roman, it’s okay,” --It’s not, “Tell me who was the teacher on watch? You’re not in trouble.”

Logan raised an eyebrow but kept silent.

Roman rolled his eyes, “Mr. Trumpbull was. He sucked on a weird lollipop that glowed and smelled funny. Like winter. But bitter and gross.” Roman scrunched up his nose, “Didn’t like it so I walked home.”

Patton bounced Virgil gently as he ran a hand through Roman’s curls. “Well, I’m glad you made it home safely. I’ll call the school and see what I can do about it.”

Roman’s eyes sparkled. “You’re glad I walked home?!”

“Uh, no,” Logan said, his voice cold as ice. “You need to move schools, that teacher is incompetent and exposing children to secondhand smoke. Not only that–” Logan adjusted his glasses– “no one should’ve let you walk away at all. You could’ve been kidnapped or worse.” He squinted down at Roman over his glasses, “So incorrect, I personally am not glad you walked alone home.”

Roman let out a frustrated yell, “What! Dad, tell him he’s wrong!”

Patton coughed uncomfortably.

“Well, he’s right, kiddo. Even if I could have phrased it better.” Logan’s fuzzy feeling of pride drained away, Patton didn’t approve of his methods or his words. “But it was dangerous what you did. Go grab a cookie, okay?”

“A cookie?” Logan said aghast at Patton’s coddling, but then rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Very well.”

It wasn’t Logan’s place to do or say anything more. Patton’s glare over his glasses shut him up on the matter anyhow. Just because Logan was a father now too didn’t give him the right to chide Roman. Logan knew that. He shouldn’t have spoken up at all, but he couldn’t help speaking up on an important matter such as Roman’s safety.

However, Patton did spoil Roman far too much. It made the boy grow up into bit of a brat if he said so himself. Roman’s face lit up and opened up the counter to pluck up a Spooky Surprise cookie and bit into it. Black crumbs fell to the floor unceremoniously as Roman groaned at the sheer amount of sugar. Logan’s mouth twitched with a smile while Patton looked at his son with open fondness at Roman’s unabashed love for his dad’s cookies.

Roman turned around and finally zeroed in on Virgil. “What is that?"

“Oh! This is Virgil,” Patton said as Virgil gurgled, “He’s Logan’s son, so say hello to him! He’s just the cutest little thing ever.”

“Ew.” Roman wrinkled his nose as he looked up at Virgil in Patton’s arms, “Why do you have it?”

Logan raised an eyebrow, “Are you asking why I have Virgil? I adopted him.”

“Oh…” Roman took a bite out of his cookie thoughtfully, “When do you give him back? I know Ms. Applebee gave her hamster back after a few weeks.”

Patton giggled, “No, kiddo. This kind of adoption is forever I think.”

“It is forever.” Logan said firmly, no hint of hesitance in his voice.

“Do you want to hold him, Roman?” Patton said, “Oh, I almost forgot to ask, Logan, how old is he?”

“Three and a half months old,” Logan said, then picked up Roman as he squealed. “Up you go.” Logan set Roman on top of a stool and fought back a smile at the resulting giggles from the kindergartner, “Be very careful when holding Virgil, okay?”

Roman crossed his arms, “Okay, okay. I will, Lo! Geez, I’m not a baby.”

Patton walked over and bounced Virgil to soothe him. Logan’s hands twitched to take him back, but Patton was the more experienced father here. He had to concede to him. Logan instead focused on coaching Roman on how to hold Virgil properly. Within a few heartstopping moments, Virgil settled into Roman’s arms.

Virgil squirmed as he sniffled, Roman stuck out his tongue at him. “Are all babies this gross? Why is he crying?”

“He has Colic,” Logan said, both adults kneeling close to Roman in case anything were to go wrong, “It means his tummy is sensitive and he can be in great pain sometimes.”

“Aw, poor little guy.” Patton frowned.

Roman’s fingers were sticky with crumbs and frosting, staining his cute little onesie. Logan wished he had the foresight to wipe Roman’s fingers ahead of time. Then grimaced as he remembered how infectious playgrounds could be, he hoped Roman didn’t catch anything. Roman looked between the two of them, wheels turning behind his beautiful green eyes, then shouted, “Are you even looking at me?”

“What? Of course, sweetheart.” Patton said, but he kept glancing down at the squirming baby, “Virgil is just so small. Gah, he’s so adorable…”

"He is," Logan said, brushing a finger down his cheek. "I can hardly look away."

Roman huffed, "Is this why you haven't seen me in like fifty years?"

Patton and Logan glanced at each other. Virgil kicked his feet and squirmed in Roman's arms but Roman held him steadfast and true. Patton raised an eyebrow, Logan's shoulders dropped in response, fine, he needed to tell the truth.

"It’s only been two weeks. And yes, I had to baby proof my apartment. I wanted it to be a surprise," Logan said, "Which meant I had to decline our usual game nights at my place and visit county offices in my free time instead of coming here."

"Well, it was certainly a surprise," Patton muttered under his breath, "Hold his head a little higher, yes, that's it."

Logan couldn't read Roman's expression as he whispered, "So...you picked him over me?"

"Kiddo!"

"Preparing for an arrival of a baby takes extensive work and perhaps I should've warned ahead of time." Logan cleared his throat while Roman stared down at the baby in his arms. "Virgil will require a lot of my attention to make sure he's happy and cared for. And he'll come to our game nights too, regardless."

"What?!" Roman shouted, "But that's our thing! Not Vergil's!"

"Virgil."

"Whatever!" Roman's eyes shone, Logan bit back a sigh, children's emotions were so incredibly volatile and unpredictable that Logan didn't know what to say in response, "What about my happiness?! Do you even care?! You love this ugly little thing more than me!!" Then quieter, "Am I not good enough?"

"Roman," Patton cut in, "We talked about this. Sometimes Uncle Lolo might be busy but it's not because of you. Okay?"

"Yes, your father is right," Logan said, "Virgil is harmless. He doesn't have any teeth nor any capacity to replace you. I love him and I love you. Very much."

Roman glared down at Virgil, his jade eyes full of fire. Virgil kicked his feet and squealed in Roman’s arms. Then his cute little blue pacifier fell out his mouth. Oh no, that wouldn’t do! Logan dropped his eyes down to the floor and looked for it. It rolled under the chair. He reached a hand to grab it when Patton’s hand bumped against his.

“Oh--”

“Apologies--”

Patton pulled his hand back like it been burned. Logan ignored the slight sting of hurt at the action, his friend was simply being courteous. Logan picked up the pacifier gently and looked up at Patton’s soft smile. See? He was just being polite, he told his anxieties. Logan met Patton’s eyes and let a smile escape. Not for the first time he wondered if they could be together in another and more kinder life.

Roman screamed, “Ow! You little jerk!”

Patton’s eyes widened as the two of them realized they hadn’t looked at their sons in all this time. A whole minute unsupervised. They whipped up their heads back up to witness Roman’s index finger in Virgil’s mouth, and it looked like Virgil wasn’t letting go any time soon. Tears sprung at the edge of Roman’s eyes. Meanwhile, Virgil practically glowered.

Ah, it appeared like Logan was right after all. Like always. Babies were capable of hatred then. Logan grimaced, but he hadn’t expected it to be at the expense of Roman. In different circumstances, Logan would’ve laughed.

“Virgil!”--”Roman!!” the fathers said in unison.

Virgil let go of Roman’s finger with a slimy pop. Logan reached out to pick Virgil out of Roman’s arms. Patton brought Roman’s fingers closer to inspect. Both of them knew Virgil was far too young to have any teeth to bite but babies’ jaws were quite strong. Patton let out a sigh at the lack of blood on the tip of Roman’s finger. However, before Logan could carefully extract Virgil away from the unruly kindergartner--

“I’ll show you a real bite!” Roman shouted, then bit down on Virgil’s squirming arm, Virgil shrieked.

“ROMAN ALEXANDER MILENA!” Patton and Logan screeched in horror, then Roman released Virgil’s arm in shock. Virgil sobbed as blood welled up from two dark lines of teeth marks on his pink arm. He wailed, pain clouding his grey eyes, and his two small fists hit Roman’s stomach in his flailing. Roman held him tighter to stop him from falling onto the tiles below but it only made Virgil scream to such unholy pitches that the windows rattled.

“Roman, you are in so much trouble!” Patton said sternly, “Give him back to Logan,” Roman hesitated, “Now!”

Logan’s ears rang as he picked up his screaming son from Roman’s uncouth hold.

Blood. Roman bit down hard enough to make his son bleed. Virgil’s red face of total anger and fright already filed away for nightmare fuel for the next few weeks. Logan shushed him as Virgil clung to his sweater for dear life. Logan rubbed Virgil’s back and hoped against hope that his son’s Colic wouldn’t act up at the same time. Stomach pain and a laceration for a baby must be like absolute torture for him.

“What were you thinking?” Patton said aghast, “You can’t just bite a baby!”

Roman broke out into sobs; he never dealt with scoldings well. Patton never did it often enough since he preferred to give him cookies and make him feel all better. He wanted to see his son smile more often than cry. Logan picked up some tissues from the counter and cleaned up Virgil’s wound of Roman’s spit. Meanwhile, his own shoulder grew wet with snot and tears so much so that Logan considered just throwing the sweater out when he got home.

Patton turned around on his heel to face Logan, his eyes wide.

“Oh my god, Logan I’m so sorry!” Patton said, his voice high and frantic. “Roman, go find the medkit upstairs. It’s under the cabinet, you know where.”

Roman ran away with his jingling backpack growing distant with him. The customers in the bakery whispered among themselves even more. His son’s shrieks and cries made them uncomfortable. Logan abruptly stood up and walked into the back room. Away from the attention and from their stares.

Logan sat back down in the chair next to the stairs. Patton stayed up front to check up customers and to pretend everything was under control. Or more likely, to give Virgil some space to calm down with his Dad. Red and blotchy, his son’s face looked like a tomato, and his shrieks made Logan’s ears ring. Logan couldn’t help but feel like an absolute failure.

If only he wasn’t a lovesick fool and paid more attention! Why couldn’t he just be more attentive like an actual father should be?

“I’m sorry,” Logan said as he shushed Virgil’s cries and rocked him, “It was my fault. One week in and I already failed you.”

Virgil’s cries softened, not so shrill anymore, but he didn’t look like the giggly carefree baby from earlier either. Logan bounced him on his lap and talked to him. He was halfway through his rant about Galileo’s unfair treatment by the Church when Patton came to check on them. Virgil sniffled and his little lungs shuddered but his eyes fluttered with exhaustion. Almost lulled to sleep by Logan’s passionate lecture.

“I found it!” Roman shouted in triumph as he tettertottered down the spiral stairs with a medkit in hand, “I thought it was in the other cabinets but I found it!”

Patton tousled Roman’s hair and then opened it up. Logan held out Virgil’s arm and Patton bandaged and cleaned it up as gently he could. Best to protect it from any infections and germs. Virgil actively fought sleepiness against Logan’s chest at this point. Logan sighed, he needed to call Dr. Picani when he got home for an emergency appointment tomorrow. Or today. Maybe even a hospital. He didn't know.

“Roman…” Patton said as he pushed his son closer to them, “Now what do you say?”

“I’m sorry.” Roman kicked his feet, “That was really mean of me to do. But Virgil bit me first!” Patton glared, “But I’m still really sorry.”

Logan let out a pained sigh, “You’re forgiven, Roman. But don’t do it again. You understand? He’s incredibly delicate.”

“Sorry.” Roman pouted.

Logan stood up and held his sleeping son against his chest, “I have to get going. I’ll call you later, Patton.”

“Oh, of course!” Patton said, his smile a tad too wide, “I’m so sorry! I don’t know what got into him.” Roman huffed. “But you bet I’m going to have a very long talk with Roman.”

Logan adjusted his tote bag as he walked back out into the bakery. “I’ll see you both next time. It’s just...been a long week.”

He glanced at the forgotten stuffed lion, Cow, left on the counter. Logan slowed to a stop, Patton did offer it to him, but did he really mean it? Patton made the decision for him as he grabbed the lion and stuffed it into Logan’s bag for him. Logan’s bone-deep exhaustion dropped a little bit off his shoulders at the action.

“Hey!” Roman protested, “That’s mine!”

“It’s Virgil’s now,” Patton said, “He needs it, and you hardly ever play with Cow anymore. You have more than enough dragons in your room.”

“But-”

“No buts, Roman. That’s when you get older and you want him to be able to have something nice to play with right?”

“No…” Roman crossed his little arms and huffed but his shoulders sagged as a guilty expression crossed his soft features, “Yeah…. Okay…”

Logan tousled Roman’s curls, “Thank you. And I’ll see you next week, little minotaur.”

“HEY!”

Patton giggled, “Drive home safe!”

Logan waved goodbye and left the bakery without glancing back. He drove through the busy city streets as he went through various scenarios on how that first meeting could’ve gone better, or more commonly, much worse. At a stoplight, Logan dropped his head down to the wheel, his heart nearly stopped in his chest when he heard Virgil’s shriek of pain and fear.

He hoped to never hear it again in his life.

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