#PLOT TWISTS ARE MY FAVE THINGS EVER

[nijacobs]

since we found out that the nuke isn't the same thing as the incident, i have two theories about it!

one is that dreamxd was responsible for "the incident" and he just whipped their asses out of there and brought them to a new world to save them. why? no idea.

OR c!karl was able to time travel back to that exact moment to save them but by doing so, he altered the entire server and now everyone's lost their memories and starting anew.

thoughts? anything? i'm grasping at straws here?

[themidnightcircusshow]

@heartofstanding tagged me in this meme months ago and unfortunately it took me this long to get to it because I had a mild crisis over how long it's been since I've read a novel, let alone one that I loved 😅 so this is nine of my favourite novels (not books, because if I included manga/short stories/comics/etc this would be giant)

0The Picture of Dorian Gray -- Oscar Wilde// Pyrrhus-- Mark Merlis//The Scarecrow--Ronald Hugh Morrieson//Unnatural History--Kate Osman//Tunnels of Blood--Darren Shan//The Coffin Dancer--Jeffery Deaver//Hero--Perry Moore//Frankenstein--Mary Shelley//One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest-- Ken Kasey

[miumura]

NOT THE TYPE ⌇K. SUNOO

( 🌐 ) SYNOPSIS > Sunoo was never the type to feel awkward around you, so you couldn’t quite understand why he was acting this way. If only you knew how he was just as bewildered as you were. He’s not the type to ever develop romantic feelings for his friends, but now he finds himself questioning how he felt about you. 

PAIRING best-friend!sunoo x fem!reader GENRE fluff, oblivious to love (?), friends to lovers WARNINGS none, just flustered sunoo <3 FEATURING jake from enhypen WORD COUNT 1.3K+ ( 1360 words )

SOPH'S NOTE > thought of this while listening to our by boynextdoor ^^ i needed to write more for sunoo and i think this idea suited him well <3 i think this is one of my faves lwk!!

“Are you okay, Sunoo?” you asked with concern, slowing your pace to get a better look at his face. Sunoo was rarely this quiet, especially during your walks back home. Normally, he'd have plenty to say—whether it was about the stray cat that always avoided his attempts to pet it or the latest dessert that was released from his favorite place. His unusual silence and lack of his usual cheerful chatter was a sign that something was off.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” he replied softly, glancing at you. He chuckled lightly at your confused expression, pressing his thumb gently against your glabella to smooth out your furrowed brows. “Stop making that face, you’ll get wrinkles.”

You relaxed your expression but remained skeptical as he smiled, attempting to convince you that he was merely zoning out. Despite his efforts, the slight pout on his lips betrayed him—it was a telltale sign that something was weighing on his mind. While it wasn't uncommon for him to make that face, he had been doing it much more frequently, especially when he was with you. You knew Sunoo was lying.

Sunoo was never one to lie, especially not to you.

He knew you had been more worried about him lately, always quick to catch his mood shifts. Sunoo never realized how transparent his feelings were through his facial expressions, but you always seemed to know. It was as if he were an open book, filled with endless plot twists that you still tried to keep up with, continuing to read despite the confusion. He hated leaving you in the dark about his feelings, especially since you constantly reminded him that you were there for him.

But this was different.

Would you still be there for him if he told you that he likes you?

He had never been conflicted about his feelings, and he probably wouldn’t have been if Jake hadn’t planted that stupid idea in his head. Ever since Jake asked whether he saw you in a different light—more than a friend—Sunoo couldn’t stop thinking about it. Despite constantly telling himself and others that he simply saw you as a close friend, he couldn’t help but doubt himself. He always brushed it off, but today, that question lingered endlessly in his mind.

What does he really think about you?

He wanted to finally answer the question that kept haunting him. So, he analyzed his feelings around you, trying to see if they were different from usual. When he arrived at your house to walk with you, he felt the familiar comfort of your presence. It wasn’t an unusual feeling, as Sunoo had always felt at ease with you. Although he tried to be cautious, he soon found himself naturally moving closer to you as you walked, thinking nothing of it.

Talking with you was always enjoyable, discussing things you both liked. He often caught himself pausing more than usual, trying to discern if his happiness meant something more. He was pretty sure you noticed too, given the curious looks you’d been giving him since he picked you up. Sunoo also thought he was acting strangely, so he decided to push the thoughts away.

Jake’s question was stupid anyway.

Naturally, he returned to his usual self as you both continued to chat while waiting for your orders. He found himself attentively listening to you, his eyes tracing your facial expressions. He watched the way your eyes creased when you smiled and how the corners of your lips tugged upward, making him smile too.

You were pretty.

Did he view you in a different light, more than a friend? That question popped up again when he found himself gazing into your eyes, leaving him momentarily shocked. He quickly looked away, feeling his face heat up as he tried to focus elsewhere. Sunoo tried to convince himself that he was just “caught up in the moment,” but his rapidly beating heart was betraying his words. He had never been so immersed in someone before, and now he realized the kind of look he’d always been giving you.

The way he never missed an opportunity to hang out with you, the way his smiles and laughs seemed more genuine and frequent around you, and the way he admired you without even realizing it—how could he have been so blind?

Coming to this realization and finally answering the question he’d been avoiding might have done more harm than good. Sunoo found himself increasingly wary of his actions, trying hard to hide his feelings around you.

But he was failing miserably.

He couldn’t even maintain eye contact with you for more than ten seconds without feeling nervous and worrying about a blush creeping onto his face. Instead, he was talking to you while only looking at his food, which he found to be quite rude himself. He wished he could have remained oblivious, but now he had to learn how to keep his composure.

Yet, he wasn’t sure if he could manage that, especially when his breath hitched every time your arm brushed against his. Simple tasks like walking you home became challenging as his thoughts clouded his mind. He always did it, but now his feelings made it difficult for him to think straight.

“Sunoo, we are here,” you finally broke the silence. As Sunoo’s thoughts swirled, he suddenly realized he was standing in front of your house. The familiar setting broke through his haze of confusion, and he blinked, momentarily disoriented. He had been so lost in his feelings and his struggle to keep himself composed that he hadn’t noticed the quiet walk from the cafe to your doorstep.

“Oh, yeah,” He cleared his throat, trying to steady his voice. He shifted nervously, his mind racing with what he wanted to say but couldn’t quite muster. “I’m sorry if I was too out of it today.”

“It’s okay,” you reassured him with a soft smile, one that felt different from the various looks you’d given him throughout the day. “Everyone has their days.”

Even though you had noticed he was off, you never wanted to bombard him with your worries. You respected his personal space, never wanting to intrude, especially if it seemed like he wasn’t ready to share. Sunoo would have been upset if a friend acted that way towards him, but you never seemed to get frustrated with him. His heart continued to race, and he found himself softening at your words, touched by your understanding and patience.

“Just know I’m always here if you want to talk about it, okay?” you said, looking into his eyes with a serious yet comforting expression.

Sunoo nodded quickly, his gaze darting away from yours again. He could hear you chuckle softly as your footsteps moved closer to your door. As you reached for the handle, Sunoo’s eyes lingered on you, feeling a mix of frustration and relief.

“I’ll see you soon,” he said, giving a quick, awkward wave. You turned to face him with a small, understanding smile and waved back. Once you closed the door, Sunoo felt a wave of relief wash over him, but it was quickly overshadowed by his anxiety.

He turned away from your house, his steps hurried as he made his way back down the path. Now that he was alone, he finally had the space to confront the thoughts he had been desperately trying to avoid. As he replayed the evening in his mind, he was coming to terms with his feelings.

He had always liked you, and it was a different kind of “like” compared to others. He had never recognized it because he was always with you, making it easy to overlook.

It’s because he always had you.

That realization hit him hard, and he felt a surge of regret for how he’d acted today. Once he arrived home, his hands flew to cover his face as he sank against a nearby wall, muffling a frustrated scream into his palms. His face burned with embarrassment, and he was overwhelmed by a mix of emotions.

Even now, he still couldn’t believe it.

He truly did fall for his best friend.

💬 : flustered!enha 😈

ENHA PERM TAGLIST (1) — @flwoie @ixomiyu @haruavrse @shinsou-rii @bearseulgs @ilovewonyo @yenqa @dimplewonie @bubblytaetae @wtfhyuck @ineedaherosavemeenow @ml8dy @starikizs @wonioml @chirokookie @xiaoderrrr @neozon3nha @en-chantedtomeetyou @millksea @enhaz1 @eundiarys @hyeosi @ja4hyvn @judeduartewannabe @j-wyoung @thia-aep @vampcharxter @softpia @officiallyjaehyuns @itsactuallylina @hsheart @sweetjaemss @ahnneyong @hanienie @jwnghyuns @kpoplover718 @jiawji @rikizm @haknom @yeokii @wvnkoi @whoschr @teddywonss @shinunoga-iie-wa @isoobie @skzenhalove @misokei @s00buwu @ox1-lovesick @miercerise @litttlestars @enhapocketz

[trinittyy]

fic recs

just a little assortment of my favorite works to keep track of them and also show love to the respective writers.

note - a majority, if not all, of the following works contain dark content that some could find triggering. tread carefully.

divider by @firefly-graphics

toxic affection - @love-toxin

warnings: harassment, bullying, some violence, forced relationship

pairing: yandere!bakugou x reader

literally unashamed to say that BNHA fanfiction is what brought me to Tumblr

but this was one of the first I found and it's epic

what's your escape - @gotnofucks

warnings: obsession, possessive behavior, non-con

pairing: dark!sherlock holmes x reader

the man is disastrously down bad for the poor reader

she was so witty and clever but in the end, he got what he wanted in the most satisfying way

infatuation - @darkficsyouneveraskedfor - masterlist

warnings: mentions of stalking, obsession, non-con

pairing: dark!clark kent x reader

poor girl didn't have a clue or a chance in the world to escape this man

sidenote: I can't add Roo to the recs without mentioning just how talented she is. She was the first proper introduction to dark fics in the Marvel fandom and I've been hooked ever since. The amount of detail and dedication that goes into her work is noticeable and she's a talent that deserves recognition. It's one thing to make me like a fic or two of my favorite Marvel men but another to have me thirst over shit I didn't think I'd like.

naughty ransom holiday tales - @jtargaryen18

warnings: kidnapping, non-con, dub-con

pairing: dark!ransom drysdale x reader

guilty pleasure series

hate to love ransom but I can't help it

what the king has - @sincerelythedarkside

warnings: dub-con, character death

pairing: soft!dark steve rogers x reader

royal au

love me a good jealous steve

plot twist shocked the shit outta me

smut was out of this fucking world

love bites - @cherienymphe - masterlist

warnings: character death, jealousy, non-con

pairing: dark!steve rogers x reader, peter parker x reader

modern vampire au (what's not to love there)

this actually made me cry like a bitch

ongoing series

sidenote: Seeing as Cherie will be on this list many times, I have to say it's difficult not to add every piece of work on this list because while some writers have a magnum opus, everything she writes is a work of art. Her range and the backstory she puts in her characters make each story feel like a movie I just can't get enough of. Will forever love her writing.

kryptonite - @cherienymphe

warnings: non-con, obsession

pairing: dark!bruce wayne x reader

the build-up and tension gave me actual chills

trailer park babydoll - @mypoisonedvine

warnings: dub-con, infidelity, age gap

pairing: wayne munson x reader

guilty pleasure fic

absolute filthy smut

wrath of the dragon - @straywords

warnings: non-con, chasing

pairing: dark!daemon targaryen x reader

yet another down bad man

overdue - @darkficsyouneveraskedfor

warnings: creepy curtis, non-con, obsessive behavior

pairing: dark!curtis everett x reader

there's little to nothing i love more than a good ole broody man with attachment issues

anxious - @syntheticavenger

warnings: stalking, kidnapping

pairing: dark!peter parker x reader

tasm peter

cutest in a way lol little fic

the dream that got away - @dotieeee

there's not nearly enough dark fics ft my fave peter so I love this one

warnings: dub-con, non-con, manipulation, controlling behavior, obsession

pairing: dark!morpheus x oc!mera

probably the first dark fic about morpheus

each chapter was a masterpiece

and i still haven't seen the show lol

thanks for the invite - @syntheticavenger

warnings: non-con, bitchy friend behavior, implied drugging (i think), oral (f receiving), slight bondage

pairing: dark!lloyd hansen x reader

a funny little unhinged lloyd fic

rsvp - @syntheticavenger

warnings: dub-con, hide and seek, exasperated bodyguard, exhibitionism (a bit)

sequel to the fic listed above

lloyd is still unhinged and reader is still suffering

[s-rosie]

TIG CRACK

helllooooo!!!! i hope you like these hcs and please let me know how i can improve. tysm

nash and jameson did the wap dance at his bachelor party

one time, xander put on a really dirty song on (like mad at me by sexyy red) in the car and gray almost had a stroke

the brothers, ave, libby, and max once had a nerf war that lasted for 72 hours straight (avery and jameson teamed up and won)

avery’s go-to karaoke songs are obsessed by Mariah Carrie, NO by megan trainer, etc. and jameson was like “is this targeted?” when they first did karaoke

one time max was listening to a spicy audio and it accidentally connected to the car with just her and avery and now she blackmails her with the memory

when they were younger, nash paid xander in ice cream to keep quiet about a hickey he had

libby always has to pee on road trips like im talking every 30 minutes and everyone debates on leaving her at the rest stop

ave once had a dream (if you know what i mean) about jameson before they were dating, and she couldn’t look him in the eye the next day

grayson once failed cooking so bad, he had sauce splattered on his suit and had to awkwardly walk to his room to change (while everyone made fun of him)

xander and jameson will randomly break out in song like they are in a musical or sum

libby and max watch anime together

rebecca once yelled because she was mad and everyone stopped in their tracks because she never yells

nash loves legally blond because it was alisa’s fave movie before she was a lawyer and she got him into it

grayson watches the golden girls as a guilty pleasure

nash watches soap operas and always gasps dramatically at every plot twist

thea only drinks black coffee because she thinks it makes her ✨qUiRkY✨ (she doesn’t even enjoy it)

rebecca and xander hold the world record for largest blanket fort ever built because of a sleepover they had when they were kids

max says things like “im just not like the other girls ✨💖😝🤪🤩🎀💝” ironically

jameson knows swear words in almost every language

one time, jameson started to tickle avery, so she pulled out a swich blade on him

max and avery have a system where they cover for each other no matter what, no questions asked (it saved both of their asses more times then they can count)

libby, max, and avery make up code names for everyone (code name list on next post) (jameson eventually figured out who all the code names were for and now listens to the conversations and gets all of the tea and the girls have no idea)

avery is flexible, and one time max said sum like “ave, your flexible, right” and avery eas like “yeah” and jameson started to think some not-so-g-rated-things (nash then elbowed him and told him to knock it off)

libby once messed up so bad dying her hair, a chunk of it came out

xander once made a robot spider to scare jameson (becauae i hc hes deathly afraid of spiders)

those are my hcsss! i hope upu liked them. please give me tips on how i can improve and please give me hc suggestions and recommendations so i can make more. tysmm!

[tinytennisskirt]

underrated tinytennisskirt fics you absolutely should read (if you haven't already) and why

The Card and The Heart

i know why this one flopped and maybe- one, it has to do with being the first fic I ever posted on here, and two, it's not 'x reader' it's written with pronouns like 'i' and 'my. it's self-insert, you have to imagine. i really like this one, it's long, it has a lot of backstory. It's Zweig Twin! Reader, so Patrick's twin sister who has liked Art since she was young. it has emotion, it's fun, there's a good storyline, and there's SMUT. yum. as well as a little bit of a full circle callback moment that makes you go 'oh my god'. i love it.

The Motions

this was a good fic but if you're not into the idea of having a child, then maybe I get why it wouldn't appeal. it's very domestic, very based in love and security and has some tasteful, meaningful smut scenes. scenes PLURAL. the fic is x reader w/Art and goes through early marriage, honeymoon, and pregnancy. he's a loving, supportive young husband and it's very cute. i think it's very cute. it goes through all of the motions and overall it is a very sweet, lovely little fic.

Fresh Laundry and Other Things

this one was sooo simple. slightly meetcute. instant chemistry and very sweet right off the bat. college era art and his time at the laundromat and a tennis playing reader who likes all the same things as him. he's smitten!!! sharing earbuds, are you kidding like that's so... i'm so genius for it. sharing WIRED earbuds. nervous flustered art my favourite baby.

Hall Pass

this Patrick Zweig fic is a little odd because it's x Art's GF! Reader. Pat is down bad for a girl Art snagged first but it's a party and they're drinking and reader cashes in her 'hall pass' with Art for some time with Patrick, who has been thinking about and waiting for this kind of thing for far too long. SMUT. smut. it's so good. it's diiiirty ;) it's like ethical cheating. she's got Art's permission.

Those Three Words <3

saying this is my third fave Patrick fic i've written is a little weird. it definitely comes after Sweetheart and Sweet Tooth, (ignoring how they are both sweet tf). It's based around Patrick Zweig who has BEEN a player for some time, fucking girls after going to clubs and bars and not ever committing. and ofc, along comes reader and for once things get taken slowly. he's got real feelings. and he is in it BAD for reader, wants her soooo bad and doesn't know what to do with that since he's so new to the real feelings thing. what i LOVE about this one is i love to write casual displays of affection and this has tons of that. it has a very real first kiss and a twist of angst when his three words aren't reciprocated. i'm very much obsessed with this fic. Player! Patrick to Loverboy! Patrick pipeline is sooo addictive to write. Please read this one if you haven't. Read again if you have.

last but not least, Vampire Art! Headcanons with a Plot

this baby is sooo niche and so silly. i loved writing it. it has vampy little art with feelings and sharp teeth he's so cute, he's so pretty n he wants you!!! i'm kind of weirdly obsessed with vampire boyfriend art donaldson like he lives in my brain. he looks a lil tired and he's pale, but he's still playing tennis. it's got all those little headcanons of being with him, but at the same time it's got the progression of time and feelings and some smut for sureeee, but not before him denying it to you over and over and over in fear that he'll hurt you. but that's all the fun!

mwah mwah mwah thank you all for being here <333

[forgotten-daydreamer]

"I hate how they're writing Damian in Batman #146, he can't be that dumb, he's so ooc."

I mean, they're writing him almost as if he were a literal child who wants, no, needs to believe that his father's ideals aren't as fucked up as his mother's, who blindly believes in the man whom he learnt to trust despite being raised with widely different beliefs and ideals for the majority of his so-far short life.

Almost as if Damian were a pre-teen, or young teen at most (because how old can he be here, 13? 14?) who desperately clings onto the belief, onto the hope that his father hasn't really abandoned him, because his father is Batman, and Batman always has a plan, doesn't he? Obscure, complex, but a plan nonetheless, and it (almost) always turns out fine, so Damian needs to trust him, he knows he can, he knows that Batman is safe.

Logically, everyone else is older; I think the one whose age he's closest to might be Tim here, who's about 18 as usual, I guess. But Damian is a child, he's a child who's overall relatively new to Batman's antics, and he's a child who (unfortunately) rarely saw the difference between Batman and Bruce Wayne, a child who rarely got to meet Bruce Wayne at all, if you think of it.

You (you readers, not the characters in the story - because it makes sense for them to be so lost in the plot of their world that they lose sight of things) cannot blame a child for being delusional for believing with his whole heart that his father is not an evil bastard who's attacking everyone, allies included, family included. Because again, Damian doesn't really have a clear idea of how Batman and Bruce Wayne differ, he rarely got the priviledge to be with his father, Bruce Wayne, and not with his work partner, Batman.

You (readers) cannot really tell me that you're putting the blame on a child for 'snapping out of it' so late.

Of course, everyone is free to have their opinions, and if you think that this version of Damian is ooc or whatever, it's a valid, let's agree to disagree. But from a narrative pov, you can't possibly deny that it makes sense for Damian to be acting like this. He's a child, a literal child.

Expecting him to regulate his emotions as well as his sibs do is messed up. Which, by the way, they don't. Dick is a mess but keeping it together - except for the whole "punching your father senseless" thing, but good for him, I'd have done the same there. Jason is a mess and doesn't try to hide it, Steph is baffled and Babs is exhausted. The others are nowhere to be seen (and I'd have done the same pt2). Tim's the only one with a plan that's actually somewhat good - hope he makes Bruce snap out of his fear-induced little gateaway once and for all.

I know not many are fans of this run, but honestly? I'm digging it, it's possibly one of my faves. I love the drama, love the angst, love the plot-twists, like Damian snapping out of it just for Zur to silence him? Backup Robin who grins suspiciously like Jason? Tim ditching his phone - which is ossibly the most shocking thing? I'm hyped as hell.

All of this endless yapping to say that, okay, feel free to hate this or whatever, but please be humble enough to admit that Damian is being written exactly like he should be. I get it, DCAU gave us "Damian who talks like an old man, who never smiles and doesn't understand his peers" and it's cool. He's a bit like that in the comics too. But newer comics have a (very welcome, imho) tendency to write him as 'awkward' while simultaneously keeping in mind that he's a teen. And it's the best thing ever.

I, for one, needed reassurance at Damian's age. I needed an anchor and that anchor were my parents - growing up, the dynamics shifted but it's not the point. At 13, 14, or whatever Damian's age is, you're just a child who needs reassurance, because you're changing, the world around you is changing, and you're disoriented as if lost at sea. Writing Damian like that makes sense, it's not even up for debate.

He's not ooc, and he's not dumb either.

He's just a child.

Feel free to dislike how they're writing him, feel free to dislike literally every single detail about everything, this is a free world. But please don't tell me that needing a parental figure to be there for you, and that siding with said parental figure no matter what because they're essentially all you got left (rip batfam I guess?) - is ooc for a child. Damian is a child, don't forget that.

[spockandawe]

Oh, this is interesting. To me. I'm not sure it's interesting to anyone else! But I'm on my computer for once and FULL of words again, and I'm delighted to talk to myself given half an excuse.

So, I made a post about Long Live Evil! Because I cracked open the book and was absolutely taken aback by how transparently it seemed to be an SVSSS reskin. I wrote up a goodreads thing (it's whatever, I'm going to rehash the main points here too), because I was also full of words and beans after finishing the book yesterday, and after polling online friends, I was surprised to see that the comparison didn't seem to have organically occurred to anyone else, when it was so naked to me. I know there’s a TON of transmigration and isekai stories out in the universe, and pointing at one single book was a big claim, so I just had to assemble all my thoughts! I find this so interesting! And I reblogged my initial one-off post with a little more elaboration about some of the things that jumped out at me, then got on with live and went back to chipping at ORV and GHG, and shotgunned MADK this afternoon.

This is a subtle nod and a wink to my passionate love for these kind of... morally grey main characters! Calling them villains might be a bit much, I don't think there are many true villain protagonists out there (LLE included), and even Devil Venerable has a demonic cultivator who's doing demonic shit and killing loads of people... but with the ultimate balance of the heavens and earth as his priority. This kind of story is my jam. I was recced this book on the basis of transmigration and sketchy protagonists being my thing. I can't rightfully call SVSSS the best cnovel I've ever read, but it is my favorite. And I've probably reread it more times than any other cnovel.

So, that SRB post, huh? I put Long Live Evil behind me, and honestly even following up on the sequel is mmmmmdoubtful, but THIS snagged my attention again. First, the comparisons she's calling out as incorrect are wild to me. Draco and Harry? What? Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian?? (I had to ponder that one for a hot minute, but I bet you anything it's about 'the golden cobra' and 'the last hope' and that's just silly, they're not wangxian, they're MOSHANG)

I was recced LLE in one friend group, but I had an anti-rec from my book club friend group. My book club friend hadn't been at all impressed by it! And she's cool, and I talk up svsss and mxtx to that crowd every so often, without really expecting them to read it. I talk about transmigration as a plot device that I love, and the things that can be done with it! But with that connection in mind between the books, as I started LLE, I was jokingly defending the honor of SVSSS to this crowd, so I admit I was primed to recognize similarities.

I really truly did not make it far in the book before locking it down. I was getting vibes basically from the moment Rae started gushing about her problematic fictional fave, I referenced 95% certainty shortly after she makes the jump to the fictional universe, the golden cobra was 98%, Lia Mingyan's, I mean Liu Mingyan's lack of sex scenes was 99%, and the first pov section for Marius-jun was where I gave up and called it as a sure thing.

It'll be very funny if I'm wrong! I don't think I'm wrong.

Plenty of spoilers to follow, because I identified this inspiration early, I guessed basically every plot twist early, I don't have the patience to dance around spoilers while explaining how it all lines up.

Now, I said this elsewhere, but it bears repeating: I don't think this is plagiarism. I think it's tasteless to accuse an author of stealing and repurposing characters to her face. But I think it's also tasteless to repurpose characters as nakedly as happened here! Again? If I'm wrong? That's why I'm talking to myself on my blog and not messaging her directly (?????? who even does that). What are the stakes for me being wrong here? I look like a clown online? That would be terrible, I've never done that before! It's not a crime to write in ways I find distasteful. It's not a crime to write a book I think is not good, even apart from the use of fictional influences. But I like talking about my feelings online, and I can't be stopped!

But there's two aspects of this that make me somewhat uncomfortable in a less fun way. Both are contingent on the big IF. If this is inspired by svsss, I think it's not a classy move to take a Chinese story in a Chinese setting, inspired by the modern Chinese literary scene and classical Chinese fantasy, and just dump the characters into a generic western setting. Fanfic? Have fun and try to be respectful. Profic, making money off it? Ehhhhh. The question of how much change is necessary is a tricky one! It's not one I'm equipped to answer, this is not my wheelhouse or my place to speak. But it doesn't make me feel good!

However, here's where I have more personal stake:

Again, if this is inspired by svsss. It really doesn't feel great to see a queer story (a smash hit in more than one country!) stripped down for parts and made into a heterosexual story. It's not all heterosexual, we get side lesbians, we get men with homoerotic tension. But the central ship is now a guy and a girl. And it... stings a little extra, because in the story of svsss, the idea of assumptions about default (hetero)sexuality are such a central theme. A queer man has written a trashy, oversexed stallion novel where the hottest guy in the universe collects the hottest women like pokemon, and it sells so much better than the more personal stories he tried to write. He has to write this pandering trash to make money to live, he can't live on the more authentic stories he tried to tell before. The protagonist is the projection of his own insecurities and self-hate, and the protagonist's right hand man is his projection of his own ideal man. Another man transmigrates into the book, assuming that he himself is straight, assuming the protagonist is straight, and the force of their love changes the course of the entire narrative. In retrospect, it's upsetting to see those load-bearing themes casually carved out of the story and the hollowed-out remains used like this.

Anyways, in their place, now we've got running gags about how the heroine's tits are BIGHUGE now and she can't keep her balance because her GIANT HONKERS keep tipping her over.

I'm a little more bothered than I was yesterday! On the other hand, since I saw SRB's post, I've been chewing on that central ship. Full disclosure, it was one of my favorite aspects of the novel! My other favorite aspect is the dynamic between the golden cobra and the last hope (the moshang, which I think some people misdiagnosed as wangxian).

I know that the central ship here is the thing that's LEAST comparable to svsss, and the biggest roadblock in the way of my theory. On the other hand, I think it was the thing that HAD to change if this story was going to repurpose svsss without getting called out for being a classic 'bro can i copy your homework' adventure.

For this section, let's assume that I'm right and let's roleplay an author trying to figure out how to change Bingqiu into something not-obviously-Bingqiu. How do we need to differentiate Rae and Key from Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe.

First, we eliminate the martial sect thing. Easy peasy! That's a wuxia concept, and this book goes full nondescript western fantasy. She's not his teacher, he's not her student. And if she's not his teacher and he's not her student, why does this woman have power over this man, to build up the resentment that inspires him to turn the tables on her later? Well, in nondescript western fantasy, she's a noblewoman of some kind, and he's a servant of some kind. Noble lady treats servant like garbage, servant resents her. Doing great.

And to loop back around to the beginning of this a little, I think it really is key to this reskinning that Rae is a SHE. If the central ship remained queer, it would be so, so hard to pull away from the most identifiable thematic aspects of svsss. And pieces of what remain are... kind of bizarre for a normie heterosexual ship where our protagonist is aware that she's transmigrated into an impossibly desirable sexpot character!

Shen Qingqiu never considers that Luo Binghe might be interested in him because Luo Binghe is about to have a HAREM of beautiful women, he's the most heterosexual man of all time, and Shen Qingqiu is straight too! Besides, Shen Qingqiu is his teacher! He half-raised Luo Binghe! Even if Luo Binghe was bent, he wouldn't be interested in an old man like Shen Qingqiu!

Rae is 20, occupying a 24-year-old body. Her character's sexiness is relentlessly remarked upon from start to finish. Key is 18. Why is Rae so sure that he looks up to her as... a mentor, as an older woman? He almost goes down on her! He makes out with her! And she's like 'ah yes, it means nothing. lol. so funny how these things happen.' Bruh, at least after Luo Binghe kissed Shen Qingqiu, Shen Qingqiu finally got hit with the clue stick. Binghe didn't try to blow him only for Shen Qingqiu to keep noodling on about how Binghe definitely isn't into him in any sense, even the most oblivious man in the universe managed to catch on.

Why doesn’t Rae think there’s any chance of genuine attraction here? Yeah, I get that she's coming back from terminal cancer. She's doing great. She knows that the fictional character she occupies is one of the most desirable ladies in the land. He’s a teenager. He’s not expressing disinterest. A lack of horny for sexy lady ought to be more surprising for her. But I guess she’s slightly older than him and that small age gap has been magnified by the transmigration, so she conceptualizes herself only as his teacher, I mean mentor.

I’m not even mad at this dynamic. I love their chemistry, the ‘boss’ thing is cute, but lordt, I have to wonder if it’s meant to substitute for ‘shizun.’ But you know where this comparison really falls apart? Key isn’t really THAT much Luo Binghe.

At least, he isn’t in terms of personality. I mean, we’ve got the mysterious magical heritage, the healing factor, the unbeatable fighting skills, being beaten repeatedly because of the protagonist (tbh it’s sexier when she’s responsible, rather than just being a bystander), being yeeted into the abyss, I mean the ravine, to rise again and assume power as the merciless ruler of all the land. Oh, and he comes back from the dead still bearing the scar that represents her betrayal. In the original novel, he turned on her the moment he got his opening and was responsible for coming up with her gruesome torment.

(Also, Shen Qingqiu being terminally ill isn’t canon, but it’s very popular fanon, and it’s hard to ignore that with how hard the narrative lingers over Rae’s terminal illness as her gateway into this fictional world)

But! But the things that are different! Luo Binghe is a smart and sweet teenager, who had a rough start on the streets and has a tragically deceased single adoptive parent, but that’s their only backstory parallel, he doesn’t blacken until he’s thrown into the abyss. Not like Key, Key is a murder-happy sociopath, a former street kid who fought the odds and made good, and who’s a lot sharper and cleverer than the upper classes think someone like him should be. He utterly destroyed a righteous cultivator clan, I mean glassblowing guild, for the sake of revenge. Once our heroine scores a number of trust points with him, we unlock secret backstory about how as a small child, he experienced deeply formative hand trauma.

He’s Xue Yang.

It took me a moment to process the wangxian allegations SRB mentions in her post, because I was trying to figure out how someone would be aware of wangxian, and read that backstory, and somehow miss it. But it’s fine, I’m pretty sure they were actually talking about the golden cobra and the last hope! So LET’S TALK MOSHANG.

It was so funny. I was liveblogging the book to friends, because honestly, I do not jive with the buffy-esque joss whedon relentless quip-quip-quip writing style. I was struggling to stay engaged when the narrative never took a moment to breathe. And I perked up at the introduction of this new character! He seemed kind of fun, kind of meta, Key came over to share Secret Info with him, and I messaged the friend who recced this to me (also an svsss appreciator) ‘lol, what if he’s shang qinghua. just straight from svsss shang qinghua.'

Reader, a second transmigrator has hit the narrative.

Now, in some ways, he’s a disappointment to me. He’s not nearly as interesting as Shang Qinghua. Adding the author to their own narrative is way more fascinating to me than just dropping a rando into the story. But I’ll take what I can get, I think multiple transmigrators are almost always a fun decision. And for the queer reasons I mentioned above, I think Shang Qinghua ties into the themes of his novel a lot more strongly than Eric does here. I don’t want to call him ‘the golden cobra’ every time, I get more self-conscious every time I write it. And honestly, the reveal of Eric’s full Eric Whatever name feels a little awkward and… pointed compared to the sheer opacity of Shang Qinghua’s existence. Never mind what his name was in the real world, we don’t even know his name before he was a Peak Lord. I’m not upset we got a name or anything, it would make certain fannish activities a lot easier if Shang Qinghua had additional canon names, but it was an interesting detail in light of how parallel the characters are.

Okay! He’s not the author! He’s still a super-fan. He transmigrated into the book years before the LLE main character, and has settled in pretty well. According to canon as Rae knows it, he’s fated to be killed by his own favorite character. He’s fast-thinking and fast-talking, and scattered and all over the place, but dangerous when cornered and more competent than he looks. He deals in information and manages a network of spies. He’s a creative! He and the main character banter relentlessly and get along like a house on fire. He and the king’s trusted ice-cold right hand man share a weird codependent dynamic that’s part hostile, part homoerotic.

Marius has complicated feelings about not-shang-qinghua. Eric is a coward, he’d rather talk fast and lie than stand up for anything, he cowers and cringes and isn’t honorable. He and Mobei-jun also shared a deeply formative experience in their youth, where as a teenager in distress, Eric/Shang Qinghua appeared before them and announced their devotion. In Shang Qinghua’s case, it was offering to serve him (and saving him from huan hua injuries), and in Eric’s case, it was declaring him to be his favorite character (and saving him from sad teenaged isolation), but man. And in the end, after a long, fraught relationship, Marius/Mobei-jun is furious and strangely distraught when Eric/Shang Qinghua abandons him.

Guys, it’s not wangxian.

I think it hits less hard when Marius’s themes of family violence aren’t allowed to sit directly in the narrative, and when it seems like some vague berserker rage thing rather than Linguang-jun just bluntly wanting to murder him for practical reasons, but hey! This was still, genuinely, one of my favorite parts of the story. I wanted more more more of them, I would read this moshang au any day.

After that, the parallels get a little more nebulous! The comparisons between the abyss and the ravine are pretty obvious. I’m not sure why we decided to build our city and palace right on top of the pit of people-eating ghouls rather than literally anywhere else, but it means we don’t need to take a special field trip to Jue Di Gorge, which means we can do the bait and switch where it turns out Key was a heavenly demon all along. The temperamental King Octavian, the young master of the palace, one might even say the xiao gongzhu if they were feeling spicy, jealously tries to romantically monopolize half our main ship and has the other half flogged with a magic whip.

I already mentioned that Rae brings up that Liu Mingyan — wait, I said I’d change some answers so it wasn’t obvious I copied — Lia doesn’t get a sex scene in the books even though loads of other people did, just like Shen Qingqiu praises Liu Mingyan for her untouchable image in such an oversexed, gratuitous book. I don’t think it would be right to call Liu Mingyan a white lotus heroine in either SVSSS or PIDW, but her archetype is in that wheelhouse, and Lia is just a white lotus rival played straight (and played deliberately, another touch I liked). We don’t have made up animals like black moon rhinoceros pythons in LLE, but we do have leucrotas, which are like a lion and a hyena and serve no narrative purpose.

Oh, you know what else I forgot to mention? Rae gives Key one of her red ruby earrings, and he refuses to sell it, and stubbornly holds onto it until the bitter end. Is this Xue Yang holding onto the last piece of candy Xiao Xingchen gave him, or is it Hua Cheng determinedly keeping Xie Lian’s red coral earring with him even through his own death? Por que no los dos?

There are things that are original in here. I know that this presentation undersells how much of the book is original. The trouble is, almost everything I thought was good is something that either was lifted from another person’s creative endeavors, or is being tainted by association with all the other naked lifts. Some of the noble ladies have an archery contest! That’s pretty new and fresh, huh? We didn’t have any archery contests in SVSSS!

Yeah, but we sure did in MDZS. And MDZS is already in play, because we’ve already got one character who’s just copy and paste Xue Yang.

There’s a thermocline of trust in this book that fell off for me sharply, and it turned a lot of this into a guessing game of ‘wait NOW what the refrance? owo'

I’m probably on a hair trigger by now, but I’ve also probably missed some things. And I’m sure this is a synthesis of multiple influences, because most stories are. But this feels like cooking and trying to season your dish with a little salt and then the container lid just falls off.

Emer isn’t a clear parallel to an existing character! Love that for her! Love a lady with an axe, especially if she gets a nice girlfriend! On the other hand, in terms of backstory? Wow, she’s been raised with our protagonist since early childhood, as not-quite-foster-siblings, but she was always the clear unfavorite and harbors a lot of resentment over that. Oh, and once Rae entered the story, Rae started trying to speedrun an enemies to 'hello hiiii we should bestiessss' arc with her. I think she had to have an axe, because a whip or a sword would make the Jiang Cheng and/or Liu Qingge vibes a little uncomfortably strong. She doesn’t follow their character arcs! But the disappointing thing is that it felt like she was just there to facilitate pasting the frankenstein patchwork of the narrative together rather than having an arc of her own.

(why did Marius stop to give her a sword lesson? Why did she immediately sneak onto the roof to eavesdrop on the king?? It’s hard to give her credit for being an original character when none of her original actions make sense in the greater universe)

Oh, I almost forgot, we’ve even got magic plot macguffin plants. While Binghe is in the abyss, Shen Qingqiu needs to get the Sun And Moon Dew Flower Seed so he can build an escape hatch for himself before Binghe wrecks his shit. Rae, on the other hand, needs to secure the Flower of Life and Death by an arbitrary deadline as an escape hatch so she can go back to her original life rather than being trapped here forever. Very different! There’s even little side tangents about how these plants can be so beneficial to others, Zhuzhi-lang is desperately trying to secure a seed to build a new body for Tianlang-jun (which Shen Qingqiu enables him to do, despite not knowing what he wants it for), and Rae thinks about how the flower could “save someone on the very doorstep of death,” and gives it away for that exact purpose. So different!

I need to cut myself off, otherwise I’ll keep going. Truly, there is original content in here. It was just all the stuff I didn’t like. The character quipping was. God. There sure was a lot of it! By sheer volume, that’s a lot of original content. Some of the extended cast was interesting, I enjoyed the Horrors and their brothers, I liked Valencia. Now, I didn’t like how basically every girl ADULT WOMAN in this cast was in shitty teen mean girl mode. I didn’t like how immature every character interaction period was. I lost track of how many times Rae was going around in sexy clothes and rando servants were like “HARLOT,” out loud about a favored noblewoman, you know, as you do. Especially when her bodyguard is pulling against his choke chain just waiting for an excuse to do a murder. I don’t need Rae to be the picture of flawless maturity. But nobody is mature, full stop, not even the set dressing servants.

For a less loaded example, the cumplane friendship dynamic is here, practically intact. Shen Qingqiu can't snipe about authorial choices, because Eric isn't the author, so instead Rae and Eric squabble about favorite scenes and favorite ships and such. But it isn't nearly as charming when we don't see these two characters dropping their dignified Peak Lord cultivator roleplay to talk shit with each other. Rae and Eric never have a filter once in this book. They are always Like This, it isn't a secret face that gets unlocked when they're bouncing off each other, they are never circumspect, never have a filter, never have any idea they shouldn't be speaking their full thoughts at full volume 24/7. Even after this starts to have material consequences when they're inevitably overheard! It's an immersion-breaking level of immaturity, which is terribly frustrating when the original dynamic that I loved is only changed in such minor ways.

And another thing that actually tastes way more sour than it did on first reading – Valencia is probably the least mean girl of all the women in the cast. She’s delightful. Too bad that in every scene but her last one, Rae, who repeatedly references her own experiences having her body and appearance ravaged by cancer, cannot for love or money stop talking about how uggo Valencia is.

I know this is an adult novel. The characters are, by age, adults. There’s almost an oral scene. God, I wish we’d gotten the oral scene. But by every other metric, the characters are all high schoolers and I’m an exhausted adult muttering to myself ‘they’ll grow out of it, please GOD let them grow out of it.’

Again, none of this is a crime! Nobody forced me to finish the book! And I did enjoy the book. Parts of it! But that very distinct partial enjoyment experience almost forced me to dissect my own emotional response. And truly, other than a few flashes like Valencia, almost everything I enjoyed about the book was something I could trace directly back to one author, and mostly to one book by that one author. I… enjoyed half of the book. And if I can track most of that half back to mxtx and svsss, I really think that says something about how much wasn’t done to make the inspiration behind this book the author’s own.

It's disappointing! I read this book because I like svsss, I read it because I want more books like svsss, I read it because I trawl the novelupdates tags looking for more books that will hit me the way svsss did. It doesn’t taste good to be served reheated svsss with expired buffy sauce drizzled on top. It tastes even less good once I have a minute to think about what turning an m/m meditation on sexuality and self-image and assumptions about others into a m/f snooze does to the themes I loved so much. It stings to see an author rehash a book that was/is so important to me, and see what they kept and what they threw out, and be like ‘oh, so… these were the elements that mattered to you?’

Again, I hate to be redundant with this, but. I think calling this book plagiarism would be overdoing it. I think it’s tasteless. I don’t think being tasteless is a crime. It remains wild to me that she’s getting messages calling out her supposed inspiration, even if I’m simultaneously criticizing the judgment of the people making those specific comparisons. And I ABSOLUTELY understand why she’s reluctant to own up to the specific inspirations behind this book, because good lord. If it was me, I’d be professionally embarrassed too.

It’s not my job to be the book quality police, but I think someone as experienced as this should be able to do a better job of synthesizing inspirations into something original. I dropped ‘can’t afford to offend my scheming disciple’ earlier this year, because that narrative couldn’t shake the taste of stale svsss fanfic, and it was much more subtle than this is. Once again, if I’m wrong, this post will be retroactively VERY funny and I’ll be all ears to see what her inspirations actually were. I don’t think I’m wrong.

[efingart]

Hey E! idkifishouldaskhereorinyourcodaccount BUT I’ll ask anyway. I’ve noticed you post a lot about Frank Woods, what made Woods be THE favorite character for you?

Hey no worries, I'm not exactly the most organized so it doesn't make a difference to me!

Oh my god where do I start? I'm going to try so hard to hold back because I will just tell you everything I like about him and this will take me even longer to write 😅

Frank falls into the unwanted child trope a bit. Not confirmed by Activision, but close enough and it is a trope that I find myself drawn to. The idea that he was a runaway, his home life must have been bad enough that the streets were better. Born right at the start of the Great Depression so his early life was never going to be easy. But he must have been resourceful and smart enough to survive. Another quality I like in my faves. It's interesting to think about that piece of his history that we will probably never get in any detail in canon. But that's ok, I'm happy to fill in the gaps with my own headcanons and fics.

Frank was then able to pick himself off the streets and enlist (his options were so limited, but he must have made the best choice for himself at the time.) Become such a standout that he was recruited into the CIA. And there, despite being a "self-reliant loner" he developed close friendships with Mason and Bowman. (as an aside, it is always funny when people hc he's an extrovert when he's very much not)

It's clear he cares for them deeply, even at the expense of his own well being as seen in 'Payback.' I do think he was still reeling from Bowman's death and that's why he acted with such reckless disregard for his own life. (But that's headcanon)

The way he reacts when anyone else is hurt or in danger, it's always them first him second, even in the middle of a firefight (redirecting Mason's attention to the pilot in 'Victor Charlie,' the kid on the PBR in 'Crash Site', the nurse during 'Suffer With Me' in BO2, multiple examples).

Then the way he treats Bell. I think he's the first person to deliver Bell a genuine compliment in the game (if you're a good shot). He knows his people and if I could ever get the damn sound bite again of him saying to Bell that he'd bet they'd like five minutes with the supercomputer to work again I'd link it here. How does he know Bell is such a nerd if he doesn't give a damn about his team?

He and Mason are the only ones who actually treat Bell as a member of the team. And that endeared me to him before I even knew about the plot twist.

And of course, the pain of Black Ops 2. He's just fucking dragged through the ringer isn't he? Everything, the shipping container, watching his entire team die, his tragic mistakes and how he reflects them as an old man. I really love that we get to see him as an old man. See him removed from his experiences in the 80s section of BO2. It's so interesting.

I mean even while he's still managing fresh life-changing injuries he still rallies for a kid who needs him. And he must have done a good job raising David because the kid turned out just fine in the end.

I probably could think of a half dozen more specific examples, his outrage at Project Greenlight for one: "Thousands dying in a flash and you're talking about fucking infrastructure."

Or how he has David's childhood drawings hung up in his room at the Vault.

I'm sure I'll have a dozen more after Black Ops 6 comes out if they deliver on the promised emotional journey storyline for Frank. (God, I'm so unbelievably happy he's in BO6.)

TL;DR

Frank is a complicated person. He has had it rough but doesn't wallow in self-pity. He's a smart and capable leader. He's imperfect. He knows how and when to keep things light. He takes care of his people. He rallies when he's most needed even if it's at his own expense. On the shallow end of things? He's hot, he's got great fashion sense.

Sorry, it took me a bit to get this all out. I think again I was trying to balance the urge to just dump every thought and feeling I have vs trying to be a bit more thoughtful about it. Also just cross-referencing things from the games to make sure I remembered them correctly. I'm sure there's a lot I left out. I'm planning on playing through 1, CW, & 2 again before BO6 comes out so I'm sure I'll have more thoughts to share. 😅

I genuinely appreciate you asking me about this, I love talking about Frank. Thank you so so much.

[xf-cases-solved]

S1E14: Gender Bender

Case: In what is arguably one of the most "why did you write this??" plots so far, our dynamic duo (per Mulder's request, I might add) investigate the deaths of five victims who appear to have, like... been fucked to death? Or something?

Actually I have to interrupt my own summary here, bc I just looked up the Wikipedia page (yes, bc I was trying to remember the state, shut up), and Glen Morgan is apparently quoted as saying he wanted "an episode with more of a sexy edge." How that ended up being this particular episode, I cannot say. That is an X-File in and of itself.

But I digress. People are dying of mb really high levels of pheromones caused by super mind-blowing sex. Sure. Also no one is sure if this killer is male or female. (They somehow manage to not even entertain the idea that any of the victims might have been gay, which I thought was an impressive feat of elephant avoidance.)

ANYWAY. Their investigation leads them to Massachusetts, where a bunch of sci-fi not-Amish people are chilling out doing not-Amish people things. Stuff kind of just snowballs from there. Mulder jumps down into the not-Amish people's ritual cellar with no backup and then proceeds to reprimand Scully for being reckless; Scully (for the first, but unfortunately not last time) almost bangs someone bc she is being manipulated due to some supernatural phenomenon; I laugh A LOT alone in my work office bc I had forgotten the stupid twist ending; and Nicholas Lea is a starving artist who has to take the roles he's offered if he ever wants to be bumped up to recurring character status. Sigh. Hustling the club scene used to be so simple...

Does someone die in the cold open: Yes. He is fucked to death. Or something.

Does Mulder present a slideshow: Yes! Of dead people! Who were fucked to death! Or something!

Does the evidence survive the investigation: The evidence doesn't even stay on this planet.

Whodunit: A horny alien cosplaying as a gender fluid Amish person. No, seriously.

Convictions: Zip.

Did they solve it: No. This is my very first explicit no with no qualifiers. They 1. did not figure out the cause of death definitively, 2. did not apprehend the suspect, 3. lost literally all of their evidence, and 4. the government wasn't even hiding anything this time, they just got outsmarted by some horny aliens and were left with nothing. In fact, I bet they actually know less now than when they started. Failure from top to bottom, guys, good work.

[how do i determine if a case is solved? check the scale here: x]

THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: Anxiously clenching your butthole while crossing your fingers and praying that your faves don't say anything TOO problematic. Are you educated in the systematic inequalities facing minorities in the world? Are you aware of how socially accepted language and behaviors have evolved over time to become more inclusive and less prejudiced? Do you also happen to be watching a show that was made pre-21st century, and "oh god, are they doing an episode that revolves around *gender*? Oh Christ. Oh no. Oh God"? Never fear! Anxiously clenching your butthole while crossing your fingers and praying that your faves don't say anything TOO problematic is here!

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Get clenchin'!

***

General Total Stats:

(green means stat has changed since last ep; red means new stat added to list)

Total Cases *Definitively* Solved So Far: 6 (streak ended. brutally)

Total Number of "Mulder/Scully, it's me" phone calls: 1

Total Number of Times Scully Has Conveniently Not Seen Something Crucial: 4

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Been in Mortal Danger: 5

Total Number of Times Scully Has Been in Mortal Danger: 4 (upped it another half point, bc i don't thiiiink the guy coercing her intended to put her life in danger. he just ("just") wanted to sexually assault her, but also apparently fucking those guys kills you, so. another toss up)

Total Number of Sexually Charged, Uncomfortably intimate, and/or Flirty Moments Between Friendly Coworkers: 8 (for an episode that was meant to have a "sexy edge," it was deeply unhorny all around, even between our good good coworkers. they should have brought back that horny fire expert from episode 12 to bring up the heat, pun not intended)

Total Number of Autopsies Scully Has Performed On Screen: 1

Total Number of Times Scully Plays Doctor: 1

Total Number of Times Mulder Talks to an Informant: 5

Total Number of Times People Making Out in a Car Are Hurt or Killed: 2 (when i made that stat, part of me was like "mb i am misremembering how often that happens, and it won't even come up that much," and then it happened in the very next episode)

Total Number of Nosebleeds: 4

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Tasted/Sniffed/Touched Something Questionable Without Following Proper Safety Procedures: 2 (don't touch and sniff the weird alien goo wall??? i know for a FACT you keep rubber gloves in your pocket)

Total Number of Times Someone Says "Trust No One": 1

Total Number of Times Someone Says "I Want to Believe": 2

Total Number of Cigarettes Cigarette Smoking Man Has Smoked: 2

Total Number of Maggie Scully Sightings: 1

Total Number of Alex Krycek Sightings: still 0, but like, uh... definitely the closest we've come so far

Total Number of Times I Had to Look Up What State the Episode Takes Place in Even Though I Literally Just Watched It: 4 ½ (yeah i couldn't even pretend that i paid attention)

Total Number of Times I Had to Look at an Episode's Wikipedia Page to Fill This Out Because It Was Fucking Confusing and/or Too Boring for Me to Pay Attention: 2 (i didn't need to, but i did read the wikipedia page anyway just out of pure curiosity, bc why did they write that episode? i mean like, i was entertained, which ig makes it a win, but also just... why?)

[gravityglitch-blog]

The Amazing Digital Circus, as seen by a Murder Drones fan

("Candy Carrier Chaos" inspired me to write this. Fair warning, it's a long one. Potential spoilers ahead)

I stumbled into the indie animation scene on YouTube by accident. It was like finding hidden treasure. I have no hate for the big-name studios, but everything I'd been seeing up until then seemed...homogenized...over-processed, somehow? It's hard to describe. Like eating fast food when you want a home cooked meal.

Now here were stories that were all wonderfully different, in subject matter and style. I started with "Lackadaisy", which was so beautiful, it left me stunned.

(The only reason you don't see more Lackadaisy fanart from me is because it's difficult drawing cats. I'm practicing, though.)

A few more clicks brought me to "Murder Drones", and it was love at first sight.

I connected to Uzi's character within her first minutes on-screen. Despite the dark tone of the story, I still hold out hope for a good ending.

Then I started seeing teasers for a new series, "The Amazing Digital Circus".

The art style and bright colors weren't my usual speed, but I decided to check it out anyway.

Personal confession, "Digital Circus" scares me more than "Murder Drones". While "Murder Drones" wears its horror inspirations on its sleeve, to me, it's more the "cool" kind of horror that I would scribble on my notebooks between classes.

Vampires, monsters, battling the forces of darkness while jamming to nightcore, you get the idea.

I have legitimately had nightmares that look like the "Digital Circus". Strange worlds of twisted colors and shapes, people I don't know, doors and staircases that lead nowhere.

All that said, I did enjoy the pilot, I found the setup and the characters interesting, and wanted to see more.

Side note, I know the studio sometimes seems to favor "Digital Circus", and it causes some resentment between the fandoms.

For myself, I see our fandoms as siblings. Let us watch our faves (hopefully) triumph over the horrors together.

This brings me to "Candy Carrier Chaos".

It happened to debut on one of my bad days, when I was feeling down, to put it mildly.

Like I didn't matter. Like no one would notice or remember me if I were gone.

And so that opening scene of Pomni's nightmare hit me like a punch in the gut.

I won't go into the episode's plot too much, as I'm sure others here have already done that and better than I ever could. The whole reason I'm writing this is because of that ending.

The members of the Circus take the time and care to remember the friend they lost in the pilot, apparently the latest of many.

They all feel the pain of loss, of being trapped in this strange world. But they still have each other. For now, at least.

The look on Pomni's face when she realizes she's not alone. When her vision replays, it has changed.

Now, there are helping hands to take hold of her. To pull her back up out of the darkness.

I honestly became a little teary-eyed at that scene. It got me thinking, "maybe the bad days are liars. Maybe I would be missed, after all."

The power of storytelling through animation. With all my heart, I hope this medium continues to grow and flourish. To any aspiring animators and artists out there, this random Tumblr person asks, please don't give up the dream. There are people out there that need to hear your stories.

In the meantime, Pomni remains where she is...and so do I. Thank you so much if you've read this whole thing. I really appreciate it.

[onceuponastory]

all i need to hear - bucky barnes x reader

'Cause it all means nothing, my dear If I can't be holding you near So tell me you love me, 'Cause that's all that I need to hear - all i need to hear by the 1975

Plot: A few months ago, Bucky broke up with Y/N, and he’s regretted it ever since. All he wants to do is tell her the truth about how he feels...if he can only work up the courage to. Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader Warnings: Mentions of a break up if that makes you sad, a few mentions of Bucky’s past as the winter soldier (but nothing too graphic), and the anxiety he has afterwards. As always, if I miss any triggers please let me know! Notes: I’ve had The 1975′s new album on repeat ever since it came out, and this is one of my fave songs from it, so I just had to write something for it. Not beta’d, so any and all mistakes are my own.

“Bucky, you’re staring again.” Sam’s voice cuts through Bucky’s thoughts. Bucky huffs.

“I do stare. As you keep telling me, it’s my thing, remember?”

“Okay, but you’ve been staring at Y/N for what feels like at least an hour now.” This time, Bucky doesn’t have a witty comeback for that. Because he knows it’s true. Noticing his lack of response, Sam’s face softens. “You really miss her, don’t you?” He does. He misses her so badly it hurts every part of him. This isn’t heartbreak anymore. It’s a full-blown aching, one that consumes his every waking moment. Sam doesn’t even need an answer. He can tell right away. “You know you could just tell her how you feel, right?” Bucky glances over at Y/N again, watching as she laughs with Sharon. She looks so happy. Bucky thought, hoped that she was missing him too. But she seems so happy without him. Maybe he doesn’t matter to her anymore. He wouldn’t blame her for that, though.

Things between them both started off so well. Then again, they always do. They were happy, and so in love. But Bucky just had to fuck everything up, just like usual. After everything that he did as the Winter Soldier, with so much blood shed because of him, Bucky Barnes convinced himself that he wasn’t deserving of love. Especially not from someone like Y/N. At first, he tried to hide those thoughts and push through, like he’s been doing ever since he escaped from HYDRA. Yet soon, those thoughts began to intensify, and soon they were eating him alive. 

“What if she left him after realising just how awful he is? What if someone from his past hurt her? Or worse, what if he lost control again and hurt her?”

So, Bucky broke up with her for her own safety. And he’s regretted it ever since. He wants to apologise to her in the hopes that they can start again. But he can’t. The look on her face as her eyes filled with tears and her bottom lip trembled as she tried to keep it together still haunts him to this day. It’s worse than it was with any of his victims. Because this time, he was in control the whole time. He was the one who took the knife and twisted it even deeper. That’s not what a good person does, someone who’s deserving of love. That’s what a monster does. He can’t put her through that pain again. What Bucky needs to do is suffer in silence, like he deserves.

Suddenly, Y/N looks over and catches Bucky staring. For a second, the tiniest flicker of a smile crosses her lips, and Bucky feels himself smiling too. For a moment, it’s as if things between them are back to normal, and that nothing ever happened. Once more, they’re in love, and happy again. That smile, the one he loves more than anything in the world, fills Bucky with an overwhelming desire to get up, walk over to Y/N and kiss her all over, just like he used to. A desire that fills his entire being. Yet, just as he’s about to get up, Y/N’s face falls and she looks away. That look tells him everything he needs to know about how she feels about him. Bucky suddenly feels a pit open up in the depths of his stomach. One that he wishes would swallow him whole. With one last look at Y/N, Bucky’s gaze shifts to his lap, and he fiddles with his fingers.

“No. I can’t.” He mumbles sadly.

~*~*~*~*~*~

A few days later, Bucky stands outside Y/N’s apartment, willing himself to knock. He holds the letter in his hands, running his non-metal hand along the edge of the paper. Inside is a complete explanation of why he broke up with her, an apology, and an admission that he still loves her. In fact, he never stopped loving her, not once. He’s written and rewritten it countless times, and even now, he’s not sure it makes any sense. It’s too late now though. Although he can already feel the familiar pit forming in his stomach by the minute, and he considers just dropping the letter at her door and running away. “No. I said I’d make amends, and here I am.” Of course, when his therapist told him to make amends, she meant everyone he hurt as the Winter Soldier. But Bucky hurt Y/N deeply too, and she deserves to read the truth, if even just for closure. 

That is, if he can work up the courage to knock on her fucking door. As he lightly raps the door, Bucky’s stomach churns whilst he thinks of her potential reaction. Either she starts crying and tells him to fuck off, or she punches him and then tells him to fuck off. He would deserve it, though. Of course, Bucky wants more than anything for her to tell him that she feels the same about him, and then they’ll be together again. That’s how things would go in an ideal world, the kind romanticised in fairytales and romcoms. But Bucky Barnes’ life has never been like that, and he knows there’s no way it’ll start now. He’s not the hero, he’s the villain.

The door opens, and Y/N and Bucky are soon face to face again. Bucky feels his breath hitch in his throat. She’s still so beautiful. “Oh. It’s you.” Y/N mumbles. Even though he knows she has every right to, Bucky hates how disappointed she sounds at the sight of him. “What is it?”

“Um, hi! This is for you.” Bucky announces, passing over the letter. He swears he almost has a paper cut from the amount of times he’s been fidgeting with it. “You don’t have to read it now…or ever. It’s just an explanation for everything.” 

“Thanks.” The air around them is suddenly even more awkward, something Bucky didn’t even think was possible. It makes him feel even more guilty. Only a few months ago, they could talk for hours and hours without getting bored with each other. And now, because of him, they’ll never be like that again.

“Y/N listen, I just want to say that-”

“What, Bucky? What do you want? You break up with me out of nowhere, give me complete radio silence, and now you’re here, weeks later?” She snaps. Her words sting, but Bucky knows he deserves them.

“I know. I have no right to be here, not now, or ever.” He agrees, his voice hitching as he feels a lump growing in his throat. “My letter explains it more, but even if you don’t read it, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for all the pain and hurt I’ve caused you. And…I understand if you never want to speak to me again.” As Y/N digests his words, her brows furrowing, Bucky can tell he’s about to start crying. Guilt fills his veins all over again. As he turns to go, he hesitates for a moment, before saying the one thing that’s been on his mind ever since the breakup. “For what it’s worth, I never stopped loving you, not even once. I regret what I did to you every day. I know it’s not an excuse, but please don’t ever think it was your fault, or that it was because I stopped caring for you.” 

“Bucky-”

“No. It’s okay.” He lies, cutting her off. “I just needed to tell you. Don’t worry, I’ll go.” Once he’s out of ear and eyeshot around the corner, Bucky hisses as the tears begin to roll down his cheeks. “I’m sorry.” He murmurs, even though he knows nobody can hear him. “I’m sorry.”

Later that night, Bucky sits alone in his apartment, just as he does every other night since he and Y/N broke up. It seems as if he’s destined to be alone forever now. It hurts, but that's what he deserves. Soft music plays from his record player, some old 40s music. Y/N used to love dancing to that kind of music…even though she thought it was old-fashioned. Bucky feels his stomach twisting again as more happy memories with Y/N fill his mind again. He’s the worst person in the world. 

Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door. When Bucky opens it, he’s surprised to see Y/N there. Her eyes are red from crying. Before he can even say anything, Y/N says: “You’re a fucking asshole, you know that, right? A complete, and utter, fucking asshole.” Although her words sting, Bucky knows he deserves them. “That was for not even talking to me about how you were feeling, and just letting me suffer in silence.” Bucky nods, still slightly dazed by her standing in front of him. “Sorry though.”

“No, no. I deserved that.”

“I know I can’t even begin to imagine the things you’ve gone through, but fuck, Bucky, if you’d have just talked to me, I would’ve helped you work through your fears! You didn’t have to suffer in silence. I love you, and as your girlfriend, I was there to help you!” Her choice of words makes Bucky’s eyebrows raise.

“Love? As in…present tense?” He mumbles.

“Well, yeah, I still love you. I didn’t stop either.” She admits. “I missed you dearly, Bucky, and I’m glad you gave me an explanation for why you did it. But that does not negate everything that happened. And it definitely doesn’t mean that everything is immediately okay between us, or that I’ve completely forgiven you.” Bucky nods. Yet, he can feel his heart rate increasing. She still loves him, despite everything that happened. Maybe he has a chance to make things right again. “Can we maybe grab a drink next week? Just for a chat.”

“Absolutely. We can take things as slow as you want.” She manages to crack a small smile at that, and Bucky feels one of his own growing too.

It’ll take a while, but maybe things will turn out okay after all.

~*~*~*~*~*~

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[wehangout]

Another @shamelessdvdcommentary requested by the wonderful @suzy-queued with questions made by the amazing @callivich! This one is for Slick back My Hair (You know the Devil's in There)! These are a lot of fun, so hit me up if you want to see this for a different fic 😘

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc)

Wrote it in 2015! It’s a long one-shot, and I think my second ever shameless big bang.

What was the initial inspiration for your story?

Okay. Took me a minute. I knew this was inspired by a one-shot I wrote for GW2015 that has since been taken down, but I also knew the one-shot was inspired by something and it took forever to go back and figure it out. Anyway, the initial one-shot was inspired by the Day 7 theme of “Imagine Your OTP – go to the website http://otpprompts.tumblr.com/ and choose a prompt!”. I don’t recall what the exact prompt was (I think digging a grave together), BUT apparently I still have the one-shot posted here on tumblr if you wanna read it! So, yeah, the Big Bang fic was inspired by this one-shot which was inspired by GW2015. Phew. That was a novel on its own

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character?

Mickey. Because I am me.

What was your favourite scene to write?

I’m not sure, but reading back, I really like the scenes with side characters as assasins. Sheila, Jimmy, and Angela. Fun stuff.

How did you come up with the title?

Ugh. This was back when iTunes was a thing lmao. I basically went through all my music, picking out songs I thought might fit the fic’s plot, then went through the lyrics.

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice?

Two! I had fake IDs with the names John Foley and Axel McClane which is a reference to John McClane and Axel Foley – Die Hard and Beverly Hills Cop respectively. And I also had this line “Two inches to the right and it would’ve hit your fucking heart, Ian.” "Two inches to the left and it would have missed me completely” which was reference to The Mighty Ducks. Only one reader picked up on these lol.

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this?

The Terry fight scene. And, honestly, I just pushed through it.

Favourite line in the story?

Okay, the “My hero” continuation, but also, back in 2015, I wrote, word for word, “Knew you’d come.” I mean, it’s Ian saying it, but obvi why it’s a fave lmao

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc)

I wouldn’t call them twists, but the little surprises that turn up along the way – Sheila being a badass, the texter being Mandy.

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share - e.g. what’s going on in a characters head in a certain scene or how you came to write a certain line?

At the end, where Mickey goes to save Ian. Ian’s “goodbye” is legit. Dude was sure they (at least he) was going to die.

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add?

It’s very quick. I’d probably add more depth to it. (also the title shh)

Would you ever write a sequel to this story?

I’ve considered it, but one half of the dynamic duo gets taken in this one. What other plot could there be?

Are there any ‘easter eggs’ in your story - e.g. references to other stories you’ve written, a trope you often use etc?

I think I did the big Oh moment in this, along with a few others. I think that’s about it.

If you’ve chosen your most popular story, are you surprised by the popularity?

This is definitely not my most popular, lol, but I appreciate the love it’s received!

Were you nervous or excited to post this story?

Oh, always excited

Did you have a beta or a friend who helped you as you wrote?

I did! Again, this was back in 2015 when my pal Ella @hubrisandwax was still around. We had similar time zones, so we’d Skype and write at night (poetry, bitch), and have our own little sprints. She was my cheerleader and beta!

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story?

I know this is an Ian and Mickey romance, but I actually preferred the scenes after Ian was taken. Getting into Mickey’s head when he’ll do literally anything to get Ian back? Including torture and murder his own brother? That shit was fun.

[moonshynecybin]

Who, in your opinion, are the top 5 best looking MotoGP riders

this is so funny but i AM drunk enough to answer. sorry i choose my faves with my PUSSY and not my moral compass…

1. bezz. PLOT TWIST !!!!! bezz looks to me like. hm okay this is revealing. bez looks to me like a kayaker. and the thing about me is that i’ve spent my entire life being subliminally conditioned to think kayakers are the sexiest kind of person to literally ever to exist. truly the kind of guy who would offer me a hit off his bong at a raft guide party at the beginning of the season and i would think about him every day for the rest of my lifeeeeeeee

2. marc. okay order restored. truly one of the hottest people to ever live but in a way that reminds me more of a statue than an actual person yknow? like he makes up for it by being so soso crazy but bez is hotter to me because he looks like someone i could conceivably meet in real life. marc is hot in a way where he should be modeling for a living so i don’t even bother feeling as insane about him (as far as being personally attracted 2 him). so it goes. also one of the most easily drawn faces for me like the geography of it makes sense so points in his favor. and him being crazy DOES goes a long way. again i love adrenaline addicted jocks…

3. enea. i am literally so obsessed with his nose/eyeball situation it’s insane. could look at him for a long time and not get bored. i literally love a NOSE and his is so good…. extremely smoochable face…

okay please hold on i have to go look at other pictures of people on the grid. imagine a LARGE gap

4. dani pedrosa. sure. love a dude with a dry wit and big brown eyes. sue me.

LARGER GAP

5. valentino rossi but kind of specifically in 2004 is when i think he’s hottest. attraction vacillates wildly based on sideburns and level of bald but like i do get it. like i would. but i’ve also literally never had a crush on anyone blonde (i don’t think two blonde people should fuck. there is an exception: a raft guide butch when i was 20 but she was a HOT BUTCH.) and i doubt it’ll start now

[hushed-chorus]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers (except me because obvs I have done it). Spread the self-love ❤

Ahhh thank you Ashton, it was so nice to get this Ask. Here are my personal faves in rough descending order. All Simon Snow, of course!

What Remains After The Storm (86K, M)

For me, getting a story idea is like being possessed, and the process of writing is the exorcism. Of everything I’ve written for the fandom, this is the one where the exorcism failed. This story still rattles around inside me. Something so tied to the moors, the ocean, the battle with inner demons, and the strangeness of the fae all just soothes my soul. That aside, I’m so happy with how the plotty plot plot came together, as well as the ‘getting together’ moment. I'm also so lucky to have @erzbethluna do so many beautiful illustrations for it, as well as a gorgeous piece by @artsyunderstudy. They make me so so happy.

Accidents Happen (42K, M) 

I’d not long finished the trilogy and got smacked by the idea for a CO-era time loop fic. I spent three days in an airbnb filling a notebook working out all the moving parts and honestly I’m pleased with how the plot came together (i.e. figuring out the best way to conduct the exorcism). It’s also the first time I pulled off twists and an ending that I'm almost entirely happy with. While there are a couple of teeny tiny things I’d now do differently, I’m very happy with how it came out.

The Danse Macabre (1.5K, T)

Pondering why the wraiths avoid Baz led to my first attempt at a ghost story since I was eight years old (yes, my teachers were worried). Also, I go long in my writing, but I managed to get this under 2K! So basically, I challenged myself in two ways with this one and I feel I pulled it off. Most importantly, this fic was the first time @erzbethluna and I worked together, so of course I love it for being the starting point for a beautiful friendship <3

Worst Disney Princess Ever (8.7K, T)

On a train and off my face on new meds, a really stupid crack idea came to me. One that involved well-meaning zombie rats and pigeons. And I write it. I then go back to it three weeks later and tidy up. I’d never written humour before so was so worried it was just weird or cringe, but my god I got such an amazing response. It made people laugh! That realisation was very good for me, and has taught me not to second-guess so much when I have a potentially witty thing to say. Also, @youarenevertooold did an absolutely wonderful podfic of this that I recommend! 

Blood, Salt and Hummingbirds (32K, T)

Oh man, I was so fed up by the time I had nearly finished writing this fic xD Which is partly why I feel so good about it now. This historical AU takes place on an island after a shipwreck. It needed a lot of research into survival, ecology, a natural historian’s trade and old techniques for making leather (brains and piss). Then I had to remind myself that romance should be happening amongst all this survival stuff. But I feel like I achieved what I set out to do - write a slow, thoughtful story steeped in nature and self-discovery. Basically, this story showed me that perseverance can really be worth it.

[pluckyredhead]

My Favorite Comics of 2023

Sometimes I think I should review all the comics I read as I read them. Then I realize I read like...40 comics a month and decide to not do that. But I figured I could at least round up my favorite books of 2023!

So as not to bury the lede...

My Favorite Comic of 2023: Green Arrow

Was there ever any question? All I have ever wanted for like 20 years at this point is Arrowfamily shenanigans, and this book has been all about reassembling the gang and letting them romp through the DC universe. This is an Ollie who is overflowing with love and bad ideas, and that's perfect. Every character and relationship has gotten a chance to shine so far, and I can't wait until they bring the girls in. I especially love how clear it is that Roy is Williamson and Izaakse's favorite. ME TOO, GUYS, ME TOO. The fact that this is now an ongoing instead of a limited series is the best gift DC could have given me.

The rest of my faves...

Alan Scott: The Green Lantern: I did not expect to be as moved by this book as I am. The overall plot is a bit hard to follow, but that's not really the point of the comic. What blows me away every issue is how unflinching and occasionally brutal the book is in its portrayal of 1940s-era homophobia, including Alan's internalized self-hatred, and yet how simultaneously incredibly kind the book is. The love and validation, especially in #2 and #3, is so generous and beautiful. Also, it's the best and most beautiful I've ever see Cian Tormey's art look - he gives everything such a hazy, heartbreaking softness here. Please read this book.

Batman/Superman: World's Finest: This continues to be one of the most enjoyable books DC is putting out right now. Mora is one of those artists, like Doc Shaner, who draws the DC universe exactly 100% the way it looks in my hindbrain, and Waid is absolutely in his sweet spot of classic heroes, Silver Age lore, and extremely comic book-y adventure. Plus, Tamra Bonvillain is doing that thing she does with colors that taps directly into the happiness center of my brain - they are so rich and sunny and joyful.

Birds of Prey: I love everything Kelly Thompson writes and I'm so glad we finally have her at DC. She is the absolute perfect writer for this book, too - she gives such good superheroine. The banter! The action! The way she mixes and matches her cast in such fun combinations! Leonardo Romero's layouts are so kinetic and fun, and Jordie Bellaire's colors, YOU GUYS, JORDIE BELLAIRE'S FUNKY SEVENTIES COLORS! I can hear the soundtrack of this book. Love love love.

The Flash: To be clear, I mean the Jeremy Adams run that ended earlier this year with #800. I will forever be salty that DC canceled this delightful book, which was all of the action and humor and heart and love of continuity that I crave in comics, in favor of the so far completely mid Spurrier series. RIP Adams run, you were too good for this world.

Fire & Ice: Welcome to Smallville: This book got off to a slightly slow start, in my opinion, but every issue just gets better and better. It is so funny, and I want Natacha Bustos to design every outfit I ever wear for the rest of my life. Plus, Tamra Bonvillain is doing the color thing here, too! I want to live in her world.

Poison Ivy: I trust G. Willow Wilson with my life. This is such a good, complex, nuanced take on Ivy. (Also messy and poly and queer.) I have no idea where this story is going but I'm on this ride 'til the end.

And finally...

Favorite Backlist Title: Starman (1994): You guys. YOU GUYS. I mainlined all 80 issues of this series this year at an absolutely blistering pace because I did not want to stop reading it for even a single second. It's everything I love about comics: truly serialized storytelling with a huge cast and lots of intertwining subplots, tons of twists and foreshadowing that pay off in immensely satisfying ways, a deep dive into continuity that's still accessible to people who know almost nothing about Starman (me), a love letter to a fictionopolis, and one funky little dude trying his best at the center of it. I am BEGGING you to read Starman. Please.