#POST MADE WITH UNHAPPY INTENT TO BE CLEAR

[redrreign]

if they make h*ntlow real in s3 im blowing this whole building up

[descendant-of-truth]

Honestly? So much of Sonic Prime happens the way it does because Sonic is unabashedly, wholeheartedly neurodivergent, and I wanna talk about that in detail for several reasons

I think most people assume he has ADHD, and while I agree, I think they tend to leave it at "he's hyperactive and impulsive" when there's actually a lot more going on there.

For example, he lacks a filter. He says exactly what he's thinking, all the time, regardless of who's listening. I wouldn't be surprised if he does it as a type of vocal stim, considering that he talks to himself as much as he does to other people. Maybe he dislikes the way silence feels on his ears, too?

Something I noticed was that when Thorn gets on his case for this, asking if he ever stops talking, the way he says "eh, not really" sounds... almost resigned?

He could have easily said it in a more jokey way, but his tone (and the wide camera shot) gives me the impression that this isn't a trait of his that he feels especially positive about.

It's not cool or funny to him, at least not in this instance; it's just something he does, which further proves to me that it's more of an unconscious stim than anything else.

On the topic of the jungle world though, it also shows us a couple instances of him not being able to read others' intentions very well. Prim lies to him about knowing what the Prism shard is, and Thorn uses him to get to said shard - and despite how hostile they are, he takes both of them at their word.

He only realizes Thorn's intentions after she hits him across the clearing - not for the first time that day, mind you - and Sonic berates himself a little for not seeing this coming.

But it's not like this is the only time he has difficulty understanding intent; just look at his interactions with Shadow.

This is not the behavior of someone who understands why Shadow's picking a fight with him. He doesn't understand the implications of "you literally shook the world" because he doesn't know about the Weirder aspects of the explosion. In his mind, he just messed up a mountain.

Though I think his attitude implies another thing about his dynamic with Shadow that might explain why he was so quick to dismiss what he was talking about, which is. I don't think Sonic usually understands why they fight??

Shadow is a person of few words and Sonic has a hard time picking up on subtleties, that's a recipe for miscommunication already. And if Sonic's already predisposed to thinking that Shadow fights him Just Because, then of course he didn't take this particular instance seriously.

Though going back to "he only registered the physical effect of the explosion," Sonic is actually pretty consistent with understanding things that are tangible a lot better than anything else. Case in point: that One Palm Tree

His first reaction to seeing it presented as a gift is that it must be a trick. because he doesn't see the tangible point of the tree, and isn't enough of a symbolism guy to see the sentimental point of it, either.

Don't get me wrong, he is being insensitive here, but I don't think it's on purpose in any way. Look at his body language and expressions:

Even as he's getting on their case for being too sentimental, he's not unhappy or uncomfortable with them. He's just completely failing to recognize that this was supposed to be a big deal for them, so he's treating it way more casually than is appropriate.

Which is like. a classic social flub for neurodivergent folks

(Quick side note - this specific "huh" that he makes as Tails is flying away before Sonic realizes he's upset is a whole mood. I don't know how to explain it but this is Exactly what it feels like when you can sorta tell something's not clicking but you don't know what yet)

(Look at him. brain static)

I could go on with the detailed explanations but some of that would just be me repeating past posts I've made, so I'll leave it at "he is clearly not handling change well either" and link back to an example.

So anyway, this is what I meant when I said that so much of the show is impacted by Sonic being neurodivergent. It affects how we hear his thoughts as viewers, it affects his ability to understand and connect with his friends, it's why he dismisses Shadow, it's why he impulsively smashes the Paradox Prism, the list goes on.

And he's not stupid because of any of these traits, either. None of what I've described has to do with intelligence, but I've seen "Sonic is too dumb" as a reason to criticize the show, and that's just not what's happening here.

If anything, I'm actually really impressed with how well the writers have managed to portray a more nuanced take on what a character with ADHD would look like. Because he's not just being hyperactive and chatty, you can tell it affects how he perceives things too.

Which is a much bigger part of the overall experience, and it's really cool to see in a cartoon like this - and in the lovable main character, to boot! Who cherishes his friends despite his struggles to understand them! Why is it so good!

In conclusion Sonic is the ADHD king we both needed and deserved, thanks for coming to my TED talk

[atopvisenyashill]

If Jaehaerys was all about minimizing the power of Targaryen daughters but marrying them off to less-than-ideal suitors (love that idea), how do you think that applies to the match of Rhaenys and Corlys? Does it, even? Or does it need to, given expected Rhaenys's station at the time? He says she couldn't have picked a better man.

And, also, do you think this can be applied to Daemon's match with Rhea?

LETS DIG INNNN okay this got so longgggg but i was trying to be fair while also discussing like, so much sex crime-

So like the post said re: Alyssa & Baelon’s marriage, I think there's some interference from Alysanne here. Especially early on in their marriage, before she's made it clear that she can in fact live without his ass, I think we have several cases where he's ~indulging~ Alysanne's more romantic ideas about what ruling should look like and what being a targaryen should be about. Giving her wins that ultimately don’t cost him much (before she starts asking for things he doesn’t approve of).

I think by the time Rhaenys marries Corlys, Jaehaerys has already written her off as a potential heir, but if he denies her marriage to Corlys, that risks not only pissing off Corlys - who imo already has A Whole Thing about being Just As Valyrian As The Targaryens, so he will take offense - but also tips Alysanne off to the fact that he has no intention of letting the crown pass to Rhaenys or her sons. He knows this is a sore spot for her because she insisted that little Daenerys be considered crown princess and heir over Aemon, and Jaehaerys already brushed her off about that. So if he tries to marry Rhaenys off to like, a Tully who already has three heirs or some random Darry, Alysanne is going to argue that Rhaenys deserves a much loftier match given her status, and get really paranoid about why Rhaenys is getting a shitty match. I think he's trying to put off naming Baelon as his/Aemon’s heir for as long as possible because he knows it's going to be a fight, especially given that Alysanne is usually the one in charge of marriages, and this has precedent (that marriages are the Queen's domain - Visenya and Rhaenys made marriage matches as well).

But also. I think (and I can't believe I'm gonna do my man Ned dirty like this) that like Ned (bleh), Jaehaerys learns the "wrong lesson" from his sister. Rhaena married extremely beneath her and that caused major problems for her, so Jaehaerys is making sure that Rhaenys doesn't marry far beneath her as well. Because see, Rhaena spends much of her life miserable, without a direction in life, without even a castle to her name that she can hide out in. Everything that is hers is actually Jaehaerys' and it eats away at her until the day she dies. Beyond that, keeping Rhaena on as a guest is expensive because people want to see her, because she comes with her own household, and because she has a whole ass dragon that needs to be fed. So even if she wanted to live off the goodwill of others, that goodwill runs out quick due to logistics. She only gets Harrenhal because Maegor Towers is sickly and the last of his line, and even then, it's not really hers - it belongs to the crown.

I think Jaehaerys looked at how unhappy she was and what a huge pain in the ass it was, and figures he needs to give Rhaenys a consolation prize in a way he doesn’t need to give to the younger daughters, bc they never had a chance to inherit. Rhaenys has assumed the crown will pass if not to her then to her son, as has Alysanne, and I think its likely Aemon and Jocelyn also assumed that the crown would pass to Rhaenys' eventual son. Jaehaerys can’t just deny her all the trappings of being crown princess/mother to a king and expect her to take it lying down. And to be clear, I do think there’s some emotional aspect to this - I think he did feel guilty over stealing Rhaena’s crown and throne even if he felt he was doing it ~for the good of the realm bc Aegon had died. When Rhaena makes her “you are rhaenys i am visenya i have always known this” comment, she nails the dynamic, but I think Rhaena being the ~rejected bride~ does hurt Jaehaerys - she deserved, in his eyes, to grow old with their brother and have the power of a queen consort. BUT. At the same time, he’s a raging violent misogynist who believes Alysanne is the only exception to her gender, that it is simply right and natural that a woman only derives power from her husband. It’s why Baelon gets to claim Balerion when he’s young, but Alyssa is barred until her wedding. A dragon is a responsibility, a realm is a burden, and in his eyes Alyssa Velaryon, Rhaena, and Visenya all failed to live up to the challenge. So yes, he wants something good for Rhaenys - he wants her to have a happier life than Rhaena did, and he’s willing to gamble just like he did with the Baelon/Alyssa marriage, and indulge Rhaenys and Alysanne in giving her a dragon and a husband who could back her claim because she needs something to keep her calm when he inevitably usurps her, in contrast to the way Rhaena had absolutely nothing to distract her from her misery. And his gamble pays off is the thing - he neutralizes her dragon and her husband bc Corlys is off fighting still when the announcement is made, and Rhaenys is heavily pregnant and probably not really riding Meleys. He figured - bc of his love for Alyssa, Alysanne, and Rhaenys, however goddamn deranged and ultimately meaningless that love is - that he could move the pieces enough to get the outcome he thought was best and he was right!

For Daemon's part, I do think this is part of why Alysanne ships him off to the Vale yes. Notable to me that every marriage match does have a seat of their own, even if it's not an important one, unlike second son Androw Farman - Daella would have gotten the Eyrie, Viserra would have gotten White Harbor, and while none of Saera's matches were lofty they were all heirs with nice enough seats. But Daemon would run into a similar problem where it would be too expensive to keep him around if he marries some random noble lady living with her dad, but if he marries too high up that’s just as bad, so giving him an heiress and then kicking him the fuck out is a good way to deal with him.

BUT. I actually do have a conspiracy theory here that something happened at KL that caused a huge stir within the family and Alysanne dealt with it by shipping Daemon off. What happened? Well...obviously I think Viserys and Daemon got caught fucking lmao, I call myself a Visaemon truther for a reason. I do also think there's a chance that Alysanne suspected Daemon was fucking around with Gael as well - they're only a year apart, they grew up in King’s Landing together, Gael & Alysanne have been back at court a few years, Targaryens love to do that stuff, etc. I’m not saying he IS the father, the timeline is close enough that they could have fucked around but not close enough to have gotten her pregnant - he marries Rhea in 97 and Gael disappears from court in 99. But my other conspiracy about Jaehaerys being the father does kinda fit this too - that Alysanne noticed something was up but suspected the wrong man. I don't think Alysanne would ever want to even entertain the thought that Jaehaerys was raping one of her daughters, even if she realized what he had done to Alysanne herself was rape. Much easier to blame it on/suspect eternal Problem Child Daemon, especially if he's also being groomed by fucking Viserys; he's already an oversexed lecher who seduced gentle, married Viserys away from sweet Aemma, what else isn't he capable of? (and the double tap there of like, hypersexualization of bisexuality + Alysanne’s complete refusal to deal with how unhappy she is with Jaehaerys equals, to me, her constantly punishing her children and grandchildren because she can’t punish Jaehaerys, and proving this point to herself that she couldn’t have been manipulated into marrying him because look, her daughters are marrying the same way as well. And if she suspects even subconsciously that Jaehaerys is raping Gael? And punishes Daemon for ~seducing~ her poor sweet innocent Gael and stealing away Viserys from his sweet innocent wife Aemma? yeah that tracks with how she treats Saera and Viserra).

um tldr i think jaehaerys simply gambled that he could still control the situation when it came to defanging rhaenys, but also knew he couldn’t just give her nothing, if not for sentiment sake, then at least for logistics sake and to avoid a small rebellion, so when rhaenys & alysanne float the match, he can’t say no to it, so he just controls it. and i do think alysanne sent daemon off to the vale in part to defang him as well, yes, in addition to my not insane i’m right conspiracies about exactly what was cookin in king’s landing circa 97-99 ac (it was a lot of sex crimes, that’s what was cookin).

[theamityelf]

(Most of this post was made before I finished the movie. It gets addressed later.)

"Does it really count as being a good person if you're getting a reward for it?" This movie has an interesting attitude toward the activity of goodness where hardship is inherently moral and nothing you do actually counts; only the circumstances around it.

We are encouraged to feel sympathy for Red and ignore any wrongdoing because of her circumstances, and we are encouraged to ignore anything Chloe does right because her circumstances make it easy.

Which...I mean, I guess it's not the worst exploration of Attribution Theory, but it sets up this world where the only lesson to be learned is that anyone who does harm has a good heart and a sympathetic reason, except high school bullies I guess. There is no reason to feel any sympathy for school bullies. They are bullies because they are fundamentally unkind, and you are being bullied because you are fundamentally kind. The worst thing you can be is a school bully, and the meanest adults in your life are probably mean because they were bullied in school. Good news; because you're unhappy now, you're morally in the clear to make someone else's childhood unhappy when you grow up. They'll feel bad for you when they hear about how hard you had it.

Ella had a bad childhood and made sure her daughter's childhood was happy. Her daughter goes back in time to meet a young version of Ella who feels disdain for her privilege. Not inherently a bad thing; just maybe a weird zag on the happy scene from the beginning. It's like they wanted to teach Audrey or Chad a lesson but couldn't, so instead they used her.

If they wanted to teach Chloe some moral lesson other than "You should feel bad for having nice parents," the line Ella gave Red about how her mother is kind when others are unkind to her would be a much better choice! Instead of showing us a version of Bridget who is this angelic being who tolerates all manner of mistreatment, make that Ella. Because that's the actual story of Cinderella?!

Let Chloe react to Red's rudeness with dislike, the way she already did. She was nice to Red, Red was rude, Chloe immediately formed a negative judgement of her character. She goes back in time, sees her mother constantly taking the high road with mean people, hears that line about how hard it is, learns a lesson. That's so much more coherent with everything we already know than making Ella really wry and condescending toward pretty much everyone and giving Bridget the halo.

But I'm not going to post this until after I've finished watching the movie, in case they turn it around. If you're reading this, I've finished the movie and I still agree with myself, lol.

Okay this is me after the movie, and they did manage to pull something together as far as Chloe's arc being that she abandons her legalistic view of the world to a more utilitarian morality. There are aspects of the execution that I don't love, like I feel like they didn't do enough to set it up before the payoff, but they definitely did something coherent with her character. I might do a how-I-would-rewrite for this one.

I will say, the vase scene is the one my mind keeps going back to. Chloe breaks the vase. She does accidental harm. She apologizes and doesn't seem to fully understand that apologizing isn't going to fix it, because she was raised in a positive environment where intentions matter. Ella, angry about the vase, basically explains that her intention doesn't erase the harm. Okay.

But neither does penitence. The resolution of this scene is "Let's give her some space because she's mad," not "Let's do anything to make things better for her." Maybe helping her with her chores later was supposed to count as that, but it more reads as a learning montage for Chloe than any attempt at atoning for the accidental wrong she did.

Bridget is wronged and turns that into a dictatorship and abusive parenting. She has no agency in the harm she does; she is just a machine where if you input "unhappy school dance" she will output "evil queen". I kind of thought that preventing this one thing from happening to her in her teens was going to prove an ineffective way to change who she became, and maybe they were going to address some deeper issue with her worldview that would resonate with one of the protagonists. Maybe connect her lesson to Chloe's, since they seemed like they wanted to connect Ella's situation to Red's.

But no, this one incident at a school dance turned her from a cheerful, nice person to an evil queen, preventing it makes her nice again, there is nothing else to it.

For the record, I'm not mad; I'm fascinated.

That was a first watch, so who's to say how I'll feel later, lol.

[chorus-the-mutate]

This is an edited repost of the Erzsebet Bathory character analysis I wrote yesterday that I refuse to let go to waste. I tried doing the right thing and tagging all of the necessary trigger warnings only for this post to be completely hidden from the Castlevania Nocturne and Erzsebet Bathory tags. Since I can't afford to tag the proper trigger warnings without being punished please do not read this post if discussions of rape or sexual assault triggers or upsets you in any way. I don't take these topics lightly and they are vital to this analysis of Erzsebet Bathory.

This post also contains major spoilers for this first season of Castlevania Nocturne.

This may seem presumptive of me to say but this thought has been stuck in my head for several hours: Erzsebet Bathory is the most rapist adjacent villainess I've ever seen without her actually being a rapist.

The first and smallest point against her is how often she mentions virgins. I know that Erzsebet's initial mention of virgin sacrifices is supposed to tie into the origin of her alter ego and consumption of Sekhmet but it's super fucking weird that it played into why she wanted to sacrifice Maria.

Next point against her is the lawyer's daughter. I'm not sure if this lady was a virgin but when she's first brought to Erzsebet she's already terrified and too dazed to fight back. It's obvious that she doesn't want to be there and that even if she did that she can't really express that desire. But Erzsebet still takes this lady out of a literal gilded cage, sits down and sits this lady on her dress to admire her despair before drinking her blood. The next time we see the lady she's still dazed. The only differences are that she's dolled up and seems more suggestible. Even with hundreds of people in this ballroom scene the lady is literally ignored by everyone except for Erzsebet who dances with her and parades her around for her own amusement. Everyone else knows that Erzsebet likes to make her victims suffer and they still refuse to acknowledge the lady because Erzsebet has made it clear that she's her possession. Hell the only person who is unhappy enough with Erzsebet to go rogue at this point is Olrox and he STILL IGNORES THIS LADY. When the lady is dragged outside to be fed on again without anyone batting an eye it reminds me of a rapist roofying their target and proceeding to do everything in their power to seem interested in their victim's well-being in order to take them to a second location. And no one speaks up since Erzsebet is the Harvey Weinstein, Prince Andrew or Thomas Jefferson of the vampire world; the embodiment of people in power getting away with abuse until the damage has already been done.

The last and biggest point against Erzsebet is the entire scene where she turns Tera into a vampire. For me personally that is just an allegorical rape scene and it's executed very well. Erzsebet makes her entrance at the abbey as a lioness of a woman, a literal predator who wants to take Maria as a sacrifice and turn her into a vampire to ensure Emmanuel the Abbot's loyalty. Tera protests and offers herself to Erzsebet instead. This is such blatant coercion that Tera refers to herself as the ram Abraham sacrificed to God instead of Isaac. And the only question or concern Erzsebet has at this point is if her sacrifice should be a virgin. The only reasons she accepts the sacrifice are Emmanuel's genuine love for Tera and the fact that Tera is a powerful sorceress. Once Erzsebet settles for Tera and physically lifts her to her level no one can stop her. Maria gets knocked out for trying and Richter gets bodied immediately after. Their only option is to get the hell out of there once Annette makes an opening and Richter rightfully runs for his life. Even Maria, the only person that could look back and see Tera turn, is knocked out and that feels like an intentional writing choice to give Tera one last shred of dignity. Erzsebet holds Tera really close in this sort of hug as she feeds on her and once she's fed she literally sits Tera on her lap for her turn to feed. Then Erzsebet cuts herself and the blood starts dripping down on Tera, starting at her skirt, going to her blouse and reaching her face. At first Tera doesn't react but then her body responds to the blood and she feeds even though she doesn't want to. Even though no one wants this for her. And that is exactly what it's like when someone has an unwanted orgasm. Tera's body is protecting itself the same way a victim of assault would and that paired with the blood on her skirt being reminiscent of the blood on a woman's thigh in the aftermath of an assault hammers home the rape allegory. It's very sad and uncomfortable to think of Tera's turn to vampirism this way but the thought lingers hours after like a grimy film on my brain.

I 100,000% believe that Erzsebet would have been an actual rapist if Netflix Castlevania didn't romanticize Lenore raping Hector and ending their relationship on friendly terms. Not to mention Sumi and Taka's sudden shift from allies to sexually assaulting Alucard out of spite. Castlevania Nocturne seems to shy away from rape and sexual assault in favor of allegories or moments so brief that I missed them unlike its predecessor. So I'm blaming the gratuitous depictions of sexual assault in Castlevania on Warren Ellis, the creator of Netflix Castlevania, who doesn't work on this show for a very good reason.

Everything from her size as Sekhmet to her tendency to torture women and girls before killing them contributes to the allegory of Erzsebet being the vampire equivalent of a rapist. She exudes power and not only does she enjoy making others feel helpless she's also great at it. She is a sadist without honor, willing to parade her lady victim of choice around vampire high society or hang a young girl on hooks to drain dry rather than let any of them die a quick death. The dragged out, needless suffering Erzsebet inflicts along with her preference for women and virgins frames her feeding as something more sexual in nature than the other vampire nobles who simply indulge in their gluttony. Even Olrox feeding on his former boyfriend isn't framed sexually, it's framed as a desperate, romantic gesture to keep his lover alive. And every vampire I remember from Castlevania has their feeding framed as a tool for political power or sheer, simple gluttony. Even the vampire general Cho was shown to be more of a tyrant or a general sadist clinging to power in Japan than a deviant.

Erzsebet's sheer sadism actually contrasts quite well with Dracula's humanity and restraint. He understood humanity, only feeding to survive or strike down the merchants who slighted him. (He probably also used feeding as a tool for political power but I don't think we saw that directly.) Dracula ultimately came to understand humanity so well that he fell for Lisa Tepes, the exemplar of what it means to be human. And that love is why I believe he respected Lisa's wishes and let her keep that humanity instead of turning her into a vampire. And after Lisa's death Dracula stopped feeding entirely, hoping to extinguish his life and take out as many people as he could because he believed that humanity should've been better. He believed that the people who lived alongside Lisa would've stood up for her and they betrayed her out of a mix of fear, religious reverence and apathy. Meanwhile Erzsebet doesn't care about humanity, seeing people like the lawyer's daughter as possessions or people like Tera and Emmanuel the Abbot as pawns to further her own rule. She might be taken aback by Drolta's death once she learns of it but there's an equal chance that she wouldn't even bat an eye.

So what do these points of analysis mean for Erzsebet and Tera's future dynamic as master and pawn? The one thing that's certain is that Tera has been fundamentally changed, forced into an unprecedented nightmare scenario that will drag her down a dark path. But I'm an optimist and I believe that Tera will ultimately be redeemed. She may never be human again but her humanity, her love for her son and daughter will save her soul. Ultimately I hope that Tera lives and recovers from the trauma of Erzsebet turning her. I hope that she goes home to her children and is taken in with open arms. But if Tera dies she will die as Tera, not as a pawn, and that is because Erzsebet could never kill her humanity.

[dckweed]

girl where is the elijah smut you talked about i’m dying for it

it's right here baby:) sorry mamas been in a writers block bout and i was taking some time away to recover after surgery (i havent told my fiance bc he'll freak out but they took three biopsies of something while they were inside, completely unexpected but other than me swinging at my OR nurses when they took out my intubation tube, and the full body rash i got from the soap they use, that surgery went well) but im back bitches.

p.s. told y'all id post something today..

p.p.s yall don't understand how feral i am for elijah mikaelson 110% inspired by jack harlow saying 'sent her back to her boyfriend with my hand print on her ass cheek' and you're welcome for it

warnings: MINORS DO NOT READ. spanking kink, marking kink? idk if that's a thing or what it's called but it's in here. maybe choking kink? dominant elijah 100%. cheating reader.

PART TWO

"..let him see my hand print on your ass cheek.." elijah mikaelson x female!reader

Now look, you were a good girl okay? You loved your boyfriend, you'd been together for years and you had never once thought about leaving the man, that is until you met Elijah Mikaelson. You were a friend of Rebekah's, unintentionally dragged into her ancient family drama but more than happy to help nonetheless and you had liked all of her brothers, despite their attitudes from time to time. But Elijah? Elijah was something different.

The attraction had been there immediately, the way he made your heart race, and your skin flush, you pretended not to notice the way he had smirked at you, as if he knew (which of course, he did) that your body was reacting to him in ways that it had never reacted to anyone before, let alone your boyfriend. What started off as a polite relationship had quickly turned into a flirtatious fling, both of you becoming braver and beaver with each other and what your actions were, knowing full well what the consequences could be. And eventually, it turned into a full on affair.

Elijah was insatiable in bed, something you found out very quickly and something you didn't even know you longed for. You didn't realize how unhappy you were in your sexlife at home until you had started fucking Elijah, and when he had started showering you with dates and expensive gifts? You slowly realized how unhappy you were in your romantic life as well. You could never bring yourself to break up with him though, he was a nice guy, sweet and caring, you'd been dating since the middle of college but something just felt so empty between the two of you, so you managed to balance your life between both men, difficult as it was.

Today, your boyfriend was dropping you off at the Mikaelson family compound, you weren't expecting to see Elijah today, thinking he was off searching for something for Klaus, so you thought nothing of it when you let him walk you to the gate and give you a long kiss before sending you on your way, smacking your bottom playfully as you stepped inside.

"I'll see you this afternoon, honey!" You called over your shoulder, giving him one last smile before he moved out of view. You sighed in relief, turning around to face the house, only to find Elijah a few feet away from you. You jump, hand to your chest. "Jesus, Elijah, why are you just standing there like that?" You ask, looking at him with a half cocked smirk. You were happy to see him, though judging by the annoyed look about his face, he didn't seem too pleased to see you. "I thought you were out of town still.."

"I finished my trip early, there was nothing to be found, no reason to stay longer." He says, hands going into his pockets. He was truly beginning to become annoyed by your boyfriend being in your life, especially when he thought he had been making his intentions with you quite clear. "How was your weekend?"

You shrug, rolling your eyes. "Dull. We went antiquing with his mother." You say, and though you loved antiques and his mother, he had brushed off the plans you had been trying to make to do something more interesting and you were intensely bored the entire weekend.

Elijah hums, not feeling the least bit bad for you, though he would have much rather spent his weekend with you. "Antiquing? Sounds dreadfully dull." He says, his lips pursed as he looked you over. You did look divine in your yellow and white dress, and judging by the way he could smell you, you weren't even wearing panties. The thought made him want to go feral, he wanted to take you up to his room and absolutely wreck you for doing such a thing, how dare you go without panties around his brothers? around your boyfriend even? especially when you weren't even expecting him to be home. He had more self control than that. He swallows thickly. "Well, I'm sure you and Rebekah have something planned for today, I'll catch up with you later, darling."

You pout as he walks away, you had expected him to at least kiss you or something, like he normally did, you wondered if something was on his mind, he seemed more brooding than usual. Sighing, you make your way to Rebekah, you find her in her room, a couple bottles of your favorite wine already waiting for you.

"Why the face?" She asks as soon as you walk in, she was on her feet in an instant, pulling you to the couch. "Talk, love, you don't ever look like that.."

You furrow your eyebrows at her words, what did you look like? She shoves a wineglass into your hand, filled to the brim with your favorite white Riesling. "Is Elijah..upset with me?" You ask, looking up at her, bringing the glass to your lips at the mere thought of it. Your best friend of course knew of the relationship between you and her brother, the entire family knew, and none of them had ever made you feel any less welcomed, infact, they seemed to embrace you more, Klaus had even given you the 'always and forever' speech over a family lunch, winking at you in a way that you knew he meant it.

Rebekah furrows her brow this time, looking at you like you're insane. Upset with you? Elijah all but worshipped the ground you walked on, she had never seen him get cross with you, though he had been expressing annoyance towards your relationship, particularly the one with the man you called your boyfriend. "Well, love, if he is can you hardly blame him?" She asks, not trying to sound heartless but also trying to help our her brother some. "Y/N you just made out with your boyfriend right in front of him, i didn't have to see it, i can smell it on you.."

You closed hour eyes, throwing yourself back onto the couch. God, how could you not have put two and two together? "I'm an idiot." You sigh, downing half the glass in one go.

Rebekah hums as if agreeing with you. "Y/N, why do you even stay with him? You're clearly in more of a relationship with my brother than you are with him." She knew her brother was in love with you, but she also knew that he was too honorable of a guy to not let you make your own decisions about this, even if he was directly involved in this situation. "Elijah is a patient man and he would wait forever for you, but at this point, i feel like you're stringing them both along, it's unfair to both of them."

You stay quiet. She was right. You were in more of a relationship with Elijah than the man that you actually went home to, most of the time you couldnt even stand to be around him, the two of you barely even held a conversation anymore. So why hadn't you done it?

Why were you being so stupid?

Why weren't you thinking with your pussy and your head?

"Fuck, I'm an asshole aren't I?" You say, looking over at her. You had made up your mind. You were going to break up with your boyfriend tonight, you needed to tell Elijah. "You're right, it is unfair. There's only one thing that I want and it's to be around your brother twenty-four seven, I've let this whole thing go on for too long."

You get to your feet, downing the rest of your wine glass. "I'm going to talk to him, I'll be back in a bit Bekah."

"Do try not to be loud, it's disturbing knowing what my brother does in the bedroom." She calls after you, watching you walk away with a happy smile on her face, happy that she managed to kick some sense into you.

You roll your eyes, headed down the large hallway to the door that you knew was his. It was closed and at first you weren't sure if he was even in there but you raise your fist anyway, knocking gently on the thick wood.

After a few moments the door opens just a crack, Elijah appearing in the open space. His hand shoots out before you can even speak his name and grabs onto the poofy bits of your dress, pulling you in to his room.

You squeak, but the sound is covered by his lips, the vampire taking you into a kiss immediately, his strong arms tensing as they pull you flush against his body, holding you in place as he moves his mouth against yours. You can't help but moan, the possessiveness of the kiss alone making you weak in your knees as you let yourself go slack against him.

Elijah hardens at the sound, at the feel of your body against his own, though he can't help but growl in annoyance as he breathes you in. You smell like him, your boyfriend, the one who makes your life dull but yet you continue to stay with him. He had plans to change that though, if you weren't going to break up with him, then Elijah was going to give him a reason to break up with you.

In a flash he has you sat atop an ornate chest of drawers, his face buried in your neck as he left hickies in his trail across your skin. Even though it was dangerous, he had never once let you leave him without at least one of his marks on you, his own personal way of marking his territory he assumed.

You moan, feeling his large hands slide up your thighs, your legs spreading apart as he steps between them. You feel his fingers squeeze your flesh, fingertips digging in to your skin as they near your bare pussy, already quivering excitement for him.

Your hands go to his hair, pulling as you lift his head up, a moment of clarity as you catch your already heaving breath. "Elijah, I - oh.." You close your eyes, sinking back against the wall behind you as his fingers finally find your cunt, two of them sinking deep into your hole, your walls clenching around the missing size, already wanting his cock to be buried in you instead.

"Hm?" He hums, eyebrows raising in what you suspect is amusement, or perhaps patronization. "What were you saying darling?" His other hand trails around to your backside, squeezing the flesh of your ass tightly, his fingerprints indenting on the skin.

You clear your throat, voice shakey as you try to speak, your brain fuzzy as to why you had left Rebekah's room in the first place. And then he starts to move his fingers, curling them just the slightest bit as he moves them in and out, knuckle deep in your wet, squelchy cunt. Your hips move up against his hand, wanting more as you suddenly remember that he had asked you a question. "Uhm, I..I wanted to talk to you about..oh fuck..erm..him.."

His hand stops, and you hear the growl in his throat as he pulls his fingers out of you, the digits glistening with your slick juices. He looks at you, eyes darkened and for a brief moment you're scared that he's angry, because he is angry. "What of him, hm?" He asks, head cocked and voice low. His hands goes to your hips, your slick now coating the outside of your dress as he lifts you off of the dresser and and sets you on the floor. "He is quite literally the bane of my existence, why must we speak of him now, hm, when im trying to ruin you, love?"

He's looking down you, menacing aura surrounding you and you look away nervously as you feel his hand slide from your hip to your neck, his strong palm wrapping around your throat as his long fingers clutch your face, drumming your cheek just slightly. "Answer me, darling." He says, moving your face harshly to look up at him.

You swallow again, eyes looking over his face. His features are hard, his eyes dilated and dark. You can see how tense his jaw is, feel the emotions radiating from him. His grip on your throat and face is tight, but not enough to hurt you, but you can feel him restraining himself.

"I..wanted to apologize about earlier..should have stopped him.." You say, your voice shakey as you stumble over the words that you had seen so clearly in your mind before you had come into his room. Elijah hums, head cocking as if telling you to continue as his fingers tighten their hold just ever so slightly with a gentle flex of his hand. "I..don't want to be with him anymore.. ive been letting it go on too long, when ive had feelings for only you this entire time.."

Elijah's face changes, and he drops his hand from your face, moving it to cup behind your neck as he looks into your eyes, angling your head upwards as if searching for any trace of a lie.

"I want it to be just us, Elijah. I hate splitting my time between you because when im with him, all I think about is you and what we could be doing, and when im with you all i think about is how sad i am to go home." You ramble, wanting to let your words press in.

"Y/N.." He sighs, barely audible. You see his shoulders relax, his entire body untensing as he leans in to kiss you, it's one of complete and utter passion, his tongue dancing with yours as your lips move together in messy harmony. You moan, your body melding against his as he pulls you closer in his arms, pressing you tightly to his hard frame.

Elijah has a hand in your hair before you know it, you gasp as he pulls on it, moving your head to the side as he goes back to your neck, sucking on your pulse point for a moment, just long enough to leave a dark mark, the groan that escapes your mouth at even his slightest touch is one of absolute filth and you hear the growl in the back of his throat.

He still wanted to wreck you, and after a moment, he pulls away from your neck, looking down at you with the most shit eating smirk you'd ever seen adorn his face, he had quite the idea of how to break the news to your now ex-boyfriend.

"Maybe I can help you tell him, darling, let him know just how much you've been mine all these months.." He says, he wanted to let this man know just how much of an absolute love drunk, cock whore you were for him and only him. He wanted to ruin this man's year for having the audacity to kiss you in the way he had this morning, in front of his home no less.

"And just what exactly are you proposing?" You ask, voice lofty as your brain isn't fully with you anymore, focused solely on the man in front of you, waiting for him to have his way with you.

His smirk turns into that of a sinister grin. "Darling, you've been quite the bad girl today, don't you think?" He asks, voice coyly toying with you. His hand is still in your hair and he uses it to his advantage, turning you around and pushing you forward towards his bed, your bed now, he uses his grip in your hair to bend you forward, your face going downward into the mattress, arms supporting you still. "Bad girls," Elijah says, his voice a deep sultry tone as he presses his clothed crotch against your bottom, you feel his hard cock as he kneads a handful of your ass in his hand. "get punished, don't they baby?"

You whimper at his words, the forceful grip of his hand gripping your ass giving you more arousal than you could have thought in that moment. Elijah had always been the one in control when you were in bed, but this side of him was new to you, and oh so fucking sexy..you feel the want, the need for him building up in the bottom of your stomach as he presses his cock against your ass.

He hums appreciatively as you push your ass back against him. "Be a good girl and take it for me, yeah?" He says, the hand that wasnt squeezing you pushing the bottom of your dress up, the material laying on your waist, your bare ass and pussy on full display for the vampire above you.

Without warning you feel a stinging on your ass cheek, the sound of skin smacking ringing through the large bedroom and most likely down the hallway. You gasp, feeling his hand squeeze your cheek almost affectionately as your body reacts in the most glorious way for him.

Elijah had never really been one to spank you, he had smacked your ass a few times when he was fucking you from behind, like most men do, and sometimes even playfully in passing but this? You could just feel the arousal coming off of him as he towards the action a few times, on both cheeks.

His hand came down firmly, his whole hand leaving red imprints the harder and longer he did it for. You moaned after a few, the feeling of it getting to you in ways that you didn't even know it could, you hear him make a noise in the back of his throat when he finally decides he's finished, using both hands to squeeze and rub your stinging ass cheeks.

"Good girl, darling..." He had gotten out, you felt one hand leave you and hear him struggling with his pants for a moment, of which he grows quickly annoyed with and with a grunt he uses his vampire strength toi pull on the button, sending it flying as he pushes his pants and boxes briefs down, letting his cock finally spring free. "Look at how beautiful, all laid out for me, pussy so wet it's like a river, my marks on your ass.." He sighs in pleasure as he pushes his cock into your already gushing pussy, the sight turning into a full blown moan as he feels you clench around him immediately, already over stimulated just from the spanking alone.

Your moan isn't even a moan, it falls into some kind of high pitched noise as he starts rolling his hips, not quite fucking you roughly but not doing it gently either. His hand his back on your ass, squeezing and smacking lightly, not wanting to let the red ebb away just yet.

"Good fucking girl taking my cock so well, already so spent for me and we've barely just started.." He drawls out in that accent, setting a faster pace than he had before as he lays over top of you, his lips near your ear, hands on either side of your head as he boxes you in to hold himself up. "Gonna go home after this and show that silly man what I did? Send you back to him all fucked out nice and proper?" You moan at the words, the mere idea of it making you clench even tighter around him, it must feel good too because his words falter for a few seconds.

One of his hands goes back to your hair as he supports himself on one arm, pulling on it just enough to lift your head up off of the mattress to press your ear to his lips, moans and mewls escaping your throat every second. "Gonna let him see my handprints on your ass cheek, sweetheart?" He drawls out again, hips snapping into you at a new pace, the new angle of him over top of you having you on edge damn near immediately. "Tell him all about how you're all mine and you have been for the last year? Tell him all about how I've been fucking you, and loving you better than he ever did? Hm?"

The words for straight to your pussy, and it happens so fast that you can even tell him that you're cuming, he knows though, he can feel you gush down his length, your juices coating his pants as they brush against you. "Yes," You moan out, leaning your head back farther into him. "god, yes..all yours Elijah...only you.." Your words are broken but he understands the meaning, his grunts becoming deeper and his thrusts faltering in your pussy as the promise behind them hits him at his core.

He sits up, his hand giving one last slap to your ass cheek, the sight of the red outline of his hand sending him completely over the edge and he cums in a matter of seconds, a feral, filthy noise escaping his generally polite mouth as he does, letting his hot, thick cum coat the inside of your still sopping wet pussy, his hands gently kneading your ass once more before he pulls out, lowering himself to his knees. Gently, as if they're made of glass, he kisses each of your ass cheeks as if they're about to break before spreading them wide enough for him to get a view of your pussy, using his tongue to catch his cum as it slowly drips out of your aching hole, still glistening as he pushes it all back in with his tongue. You gasp, pressing back against his face, over stimulated to the point that your body is too weak to even hold its self up.

When he's satisfied, he pulls away, turning your over and taking you into his arms. "I was serious darling," He says, smirk still riding his lips as he plants gentle kisses on your face. "I'm going to send you home like this, let the message sink in as you pack your bags, heading over just enough for him to see what's marking your ass like a badge of honor, rub it in his filthy face when I come to the door to pick you up.."

You sigh, your hand going to his face. "People underrate you as an evil person, you know?" You say, a chuckle escaping both of you. You know damn fucking well you'll do it though, you were too down bad for this man, so dick whipped that you would do whatever he asked.

"I know, darling." He kisses you, all tongue and teeth for a moment before he helps fix your dress, giving you a gentle snack on the ass as he does.

part two????

[good-beans]

hiii ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ i've always loved your milgram posts and was hoping to hear you talk about them more. it's a bit of a vague question but i was hoping to hear your thoughts about the characters or songs? or really anything that's been on your mind! apart from that i hope you've been having a good day (or night!)

!!!!! Omg thank you so much?? This made me so happy ;----; I’m sorry if this is more than you bargained for LMAO, I planned on jotting down a few ideas and then I just kept on writing..... I hope you’re having a lovely day/night as well!✨

So, I’m actually not that great with coming up with crime-logistic theories (timelines, cause of death, etc), but I’ve been really interested in the insights we get on characterization from the visuals – specifically looking at the image of the self each prisoner creates. The videos come directly from inside their minds, so these self-portrayals aren’t biased with any manipulation, or how they want Es to view them. I’ve been bouncing these around in my head for a while, so thank you for the reason to actually put them down somewhere! So here are details I’ve gathered on each of them: (And as with everything in Milgram, this is just how I understood the symbolism – if people have other interpretations, I’d love to hear them!)

I've been adding edits as the videos come out, it's through Double now 👍

Haruka: In T1 he definitely views himself as guilty and dangerous. Though it’s dulled with crayon/mixed media, he conjurs a version of himself that’s committing acts of violence even in his suffering. The fact that his younger self takes place as the victim is huge to me. I know it could mean a lot of different things, but my personal interpretation is that Haruka sees his younger self in his little sister. He’s been in her shoes, at a time his mother loved him best. He believes he is the reason she stopped loving him, so he hates this younger version of himself. And this leads him to hate her now that he’s seeing the similarities. I believe the crimes happened extremely recently, so it’s interesting that he portrays himself as a child in much of AKAA. He’s not trying to gain any sympathy with it, he still genuinely feels like a child because of how much he struggles with everything. I don’t know what it means yet, but I’m really interested that despite all the water imagery he creates, he visualizes himself sinking, but never actually drowning/short of breath.

Yuno: Between both her videos, we only ever see her, her, her. This is because her motivations start and end with herself. I know her situation relies heavily on her clients, but in her mind, the one who was in control the whole time was only her. She’s the only one she can trust to take care of her and show her real love. She got into her line of work to benefit herself, and she went through with the abortion to benefit herself. She's taking the ultimate responsibility for everything that happened to her and everything that she did. Though it makes me happy to see it framed as all self love, it’s also clear that she’s unhappy with her decision. And, when everything revolves around versions of herself, there’s only one person she has to hate... 

Fuuta: His self-imagery makes it really clear how his mindset changed between trials. In T1 he genuinely saw himself as the hero, the perfect knight-in-shining-armor. Once doubt started to creep into his mind, though, he suddenly portrays himself as a criminal hiding/running in dark areas. It also emphasizes what he was saying about he and Es being the same: the girl that he accused of being guilty turned to ash after being sprayed with his paint, and he starts turning to ash along with Es’ accusation and paint spray. I know people took that as his suicidal intent, (and while that’s still a thing he does express in Backdraft,) I actually think his burning is just his fear that he’ll die at the end of Milgram. Another little detail, but someone mentioned Fuuta only lowered his mask in BIO while he’s looking at his phone, showing that he was comfortable being his true self online. Meaning, he had to hide some part of him in the rest of his life. The original post said it was his sexuality, but I feel as though it’s just his general paranoia of living around warriors for justice who are constantly evaluating everyone’s behavior. 

Muu: Like I said, the mvs are unaffected by how the prisoners want Es to see them, soI was confused when people accused Muu of lying in T1 – that’s really how she took the situation! In her mind, that pain and mistreatment made up everything in her. Her being a bully didn’t matter then, because it was her being a victim that led to the murder. In T2, it becomes obvious that she does harbor guilt. No innocent person would imagine themselves as a monstrous, destructive creature like that. If she really saw herself as ‘queen bee,’ her self-image would be flawless and lovable. INMF also showed she wasn’t exaggerating when she said the murder was to free her: we see her self-image undergo a full metamorphosis and sprout beautiful wings to fly away after she committed her crime. Though she feels guilty, she still believes it was necessary to free her and is grateful for it. 

Shidou: I’m still working on something more solid for him, but it’s neat that T1 he’s expressing so much guilt, yet his self-image is engaged in very abstract activities (like gardening and eating). In T2 he’s chilled out a bit, but that’s the video that death is literally following everywhere he goes (flowers dying behind him, ghosts surrounding him). It’s also worth noting he has his doctor’s coat on for most of Throw Down, and then the only time he has it in Triage is at the very end when he’s vowing to help the other prisoners. I’ll get back with a more solid conclusion on his soon…

Mahiru: Like Yuno (and semi-Haruka), the fact that she’s the only one to appear in her T1 mv means all her turmoil at that point was focused inward. She saw herself as the center of her story, which isn’t necessarily a selfish thing. It means she didn’t blame her boyfriend for anything that happened, even though we know it was likely both of their behaviors that led to the crime. Still, she’s taking all the focus on herself, showing off all the things she did and failed to do for him. The fact that everything is styled like magazine pages hints that she genuinely sees their relationship as the picture perfect example of love. After all, she was just “being herself” when she got him killed. Even that deep in her heart, she’s convinced love makes everything glossy and perfect. T2 is an exaggeration on both if these concepts -- she still places all the blame/responsibility on herself, but with the doubt creeping into her mind, she now paints herself as a villain who's actively causing harm. She still believes love can make things seem perfect, but you get the sense she's become more aware that love wasn't transforming her, it was blinding her.

Kazui: So this is an interesting one. I know that the performance aspect in Half is obviously taken as him acting that he loves his wife when he’s fallen in love with someone else. However, the fact that he’s singing the song about how he doesn’t love her, while still on stage/in costume, gives me a different idea. His emotions are so incredibly repressed and fucked up that even in the privacy of his own heart, he feels like he has to act sad about her death when he actually has more complex emotions than that. Not that he’s happy about it per se, but the feelings are too complex for him to show even himself. (We’ve all been there, where even in our private thoughts it’s embarrassing to be excited about something terrible and we pretend we aren’t.) That’s why I think he sounds so different in Cat – he’s able to start processing that he may be relieved, or freed that she’s gone. Or maybe he’s just realizing the murder was indirect, and he’s allowed to mourn her without feeling personally guilty for her death. So I agree the costumes represent hiding his emotions, but I think it symbolizes him lying to himself rather than just lying to his wife. Now with Cat out, he also shows a shift of seeing himself more guilty. Rather than a passive character, his self appears as someone known for manipulation/deception/trickery -- someone in charge of the situation. He's coming to terms with his active role in Hinako's death. There's also a lot of his vices shown explicitly, like his smoking and drinking. He's painting himself in a much worse light as his guilt gets to him. (There's also something to be said about the whole thing appearing under a filter of advertisement/magazine style, but I have yet to form a conclusion I'm happy with on that)

Amane: The major thing I took away from Magic was the idea that Amane really felt isolated in her cult. She saw herself as a normal girl, but no one else is like her. The other children are all animals, and the adults in charge are animalistic or robotic. There’s such a divide between her and everyone else. She’s not living up to their religious standards the way that everyone else seems to be. With the adults, it could be the general feeling that they never listen to or understand her because of her age. In T2, she presents a new idea: she's struggling with how complex and contradictory the self is. The human psyche has so many parts and motivations, all represented by the marching band members. She wants to be good. She's flawed. She wants to help. She's hurting. She knows she's made mistakes. She thinks she deserves punishment. That punishment is killing her. The adults around her make behaving look/sound so easy, but at her age it's so difficult to be a good girl! She wants to show this to Es, since she believes her own misbehavior + following the rules is what led to her murder.

Mikoto: He’s got So much going on with identity and sense of self, but I don’t have a ton on him that hasn’t already been said lol. I’ve joked that the reason Meme got the most views is because it’s the mv that shows the most skin, but on a serious note I think it’s really telling that there are so many bathing/showering/teeth brushing shots. Those are the stereotypical times we’re completely alone with ourselves – cleaning off everything external so that it’s just us in our purest form left when we’re done. An interesting switch I've noticed in Double is that the two major alters never appear beside each other -- there's the reflection in the mirror at one point (and I think they're face to face in the last shot?) but we never see both onscreen at the same time. This is because each one wants to distance themselves from the other: Bokukoto wants to show he's far from a killer, and Orekoto wants to make it clear he's the one who was violent. Neither wants to be mistaken for the other, but it's much easier to do so since they look exactly the same in this video (no color-coded clothes or eyes or lighting.) A minor detail, but the fact that his own mind conjured up quotes around the word "savior" makes it clear that Orekoto is slowly realizing his actions may have gotten Bokukoto into more trouble than they saved him from...

Kotoko: I don’t have too much on her at the moment since a lot of her scenes seem to be memories of her actual life and are already in line with what she’s admitted about herself. Still, I think the running-alongside-wolves scenes reveal a lot. She very clearly works alone, but wolves are known for hunting in a pack. Does she have a pack we haven’t seen yet? Is there a reason she’s no longer with them? Does she just dream of running with one because she craves that belonging so deeply? @tokyogruel pointed out that wolves are known for caring for weaker pack members, and that there have been analyses of the Harrow wolves being Kotoko's family members. This is revealing a more prominent focus on family than she's made known so far. She doesn't see herself as an elevated hero -- she always views herself as part of a team, which can be seen in her 'deal' with Es and all her T2 commentary of their partnership (despite being their prisoner). She's always been working with and for others.

[queen-mabs-revenge]

Anyway just sent a support ticket to staff about the new lightbox. Feel free to crib some/all of it if you want to send your own

Hi there,

First of all, I do want to say that there have been some amazing updates to this site of late -- polls stands out as something that has absolutely enhanced the Tumblr experience, and they've been implemented in a really thoughtful and clear way. These have made me happy to be a paying ad-free user.

However, I have to give feedback about the new lightbox feature that has been rolled out on mobile. I find it so hostile to the user experience that I've actually deleted the mobile app and am now accessing tumblr through my mobile browser.

When I click on an image, it's with the intention of removing all other distracting app features so I can focus on the image. With the new feature, the permanent post detail overlay covers part of the image/video and creates a cluttered and distracting experience. Also, if the image is of text, the text overlay makes it impossible to read the text in the image.

Also, I often click on an image with the intention to zoom in to either read small text or look at image details. The new lightbox feature destroys the capability to do either of those things without going through the circuitous process of clicking 'more' and then accessing the post through the person's blog rather than the dash. This makes the experience of viewing images actively difficult and circuitous instead of easy as it was with the previous lightbox experience. It deeply reduces accessibility.

Clicking on a video used to bring the video into focused view with sound automatically unmuted and gave the ability to scroll through the video by pulling left or right and pause with a tap. The new lightbox forces mute when opening a video, and the inability to easily track back and forth means that one is unable to rewind to hear the missed sound. Also, the ability to scrub back and forth through a video is essential for people who need more time to process sound and language. Again, the new lightbox removes accessibility.

With the new lightbox feature, the standard motion of flicking up to exit an image/video has been hijacked to introduce algorithmically-served content. The reason I am here on tumblr is because I can very carefully curate the content that I see. I choose not to use any other social media site because I find unavoidable algorithmically-served content hostile to the experience I would like to have online. I have chosen to pay for Tumblr services because I so strongly support the idea of a social media site where algorithmically-served content is not pushed onto you as a user. Not only has this lightbox feature removed a standard one-handed motion now requiring two-handed browsing, but it's actively antithetical to why I chose to financially support this site.

All of this added to the fact that on mobile images are still being served tiny and not being scaled up to full-width as they were previously, and the alt text indicator is still so dark and in a position where it's likely to cover text, means that the lightbox view is more important than ever. I was unhappy with the small images and obscuring alt text tag, but was able to push past that with the old lightbox view. Now the mobile app is unusable to me, hence deleting it.

If this is something that remains permanent, I can't see going back to using the mobile app and subsequently would drop my ad-free subscription.

I really hope that you consider going back to the previous iteration of the lightbox - it was simple, intuitive, accessible and didn't push algorithmically-chosen content. That's what people come to Tumblr for.

Thanks for your time and all the work you do,

queen-mabs-revenge

[you-heard-what-i-meant]

Triple Frontier - Breathe Again

Just a little cute brotherly thing with the Miller Boys!

Posted on AO3 Here!

When Reader / un-named original female character (referred to only as "she" or "her" throughout) has an asthma attack, Will does his best to help her until Benny can get her inhaler. The Millers think about their unhappy childhood and how it's made them who they are today. Happy Ending!

Trigger Warnings: Asthma Attack. Character struggles to breathe. Reference to anxiety attacks, child abuse, domestic abuse, death of parents, alcoholism, drug abuse and a near death experience for both of the Miller boys.

I don't own the Miller boys unfortunately, and as usual my work is un-beta'd so my apologies for any mistakes!

Please don't repost, reproduce, sample, or lay claim to any of my work - I pour my soul into these works (and yes, it's cheaper than therapy!), and it's heartbreaking when people do these things!

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Breathe Again

It’s lucky that Will’s hands are twice the size of hers and he’s still built like a soldier - she’s gripping his hand with surprising strength, and a less robust person would be feeling their bones screeching in protest. His other hand is rubbing large, soothing circles on her shaking back as he crouches in front of her, wishing they’d found somewhere more comfortable for her to sit than the stony concrete they were running on. Will’s clear blue eyes are alert and monitoring constantly, but his smile is soft and encouraging. Somewhere in the haze of panic and oxygen deprivation, a thought drifts into her chaotic mind - no wonder the Miller boys could have their pick of the ladies… and the men.

Will is grateful she’s not wearing lipgloss, or any makeup at all, so he can properly assess the pink creeping from her cheeks into the whites of her eyes, and the grey-blue tinge just barely visible around her mouth and through her lips. Her free hand is clutching at her ribs so tightly he can see the bones of her knuckles shining pearlescent through her skin. 

At some point he’ll need to make a judgement call - ambulance or not - and no matter how many brothers he’s held as they bled (his real brother unfortunately included), he never shakes the fear that he’ll make the wrong call or make it too late. 

“Hey-“ his soft voice filters in through her ringing ears, her eyes snapping up to meet his. “ - Breathe with me, c’mon.” He manages to loosen her grip on his hand just enough to press her palm flat against his chest with his own hand over the top, and starts to take exaggeratedly slow, deep breaths. He focuses on keeping his heart rate as slow and steady as he can - a skill that he’s finely honed in his years spent behind a rifle.

Their eyes are still locked, his face relaxed despite the tension of the situation, his blue eyes crystal clear. There’s always something almost mischievous in his eyes, a kind of twinkle like he’s about to make a joke or flirt with you.

Somewhere in the back of her mind she starts to register the steady, strong thumpa-thumpa-thumpa of his heart under her palm, the flexing and relaxing of the firm muscles of his chest as he breathes. And he’s so warm. It’s captivating, and for a moment she’s not so focused on the way her lungs are convulsing and seizing inside her or the feeling of a strap being pulled painfully, crushingly tight around her ribs, or the immediate fear of oh God I’m suffocating I’m going to die. No doubt this was Will’s intention, as he notices the tiny change in her and murmurs soft affirmations that fan his breath across her face. 

The almost intoxicating spell is broken by Benny’s running footsteps as he approaches from Will’s left, and the next second the younger man is dropping to a crouch beside them. His voice has a barely-detectable frantic edge under the steady exterior that’s been trained into him by the military - Will is better at hiding his emotions, controlling his fear, keeping his voice absolutely calm and even.

“The bag was in the locker like you said, took me a minute to find this though-” he’s holding out a small plastic inhaler, shaped like an “L” and with her name and date of birth identified on the printed label on the side. “- this was the only one in there.”

“Great, can you-” Will begins, but Benny is already yanking the cap off the inhaler and holding it out. “- Thanks. Alright…” 

Will’s hand leaves her back and takes the little device, giving it a hearty shake for a few seconds, before holding it out towards her. Her hand shakily releases its grip on her ribs and grabs the inhaler, Will’s long fingers curling around her own to steady it as she forms her lips around the mouthpiece. As she depresses the little canister protruding from the top, both Millers watch her intently. The hiss of the inhaler is somewhat lost in the rasping pull of her breath as struggles draw the medicine into her lungs. Will’s fingers tighten slightly on her own and gently pull the inhaler away from her lips. 

“Try and hold it in -” she manages maybe 2 seconds before her breath huffs back out in a rush, immediately replaced by another gasp of air and a round of coughing. “- Ok, let’s give it a few seconds to start working before the next one, ok?” She barely manages to acknowledge his words with a tiny nod of her head, so focused on trying to draw oxygen into her spasming lungs. 

Benny’s eyebrows are drawn into the slightest frown of worry as he watches her continue to fight for breath. He’s holding the cap of the inhaler carefully in his large hand, making sure to only touch the outside as his free hand occupies itself by taking up the soothing motions on her back that his brother had been administering moments before. A few more ragged breaths pass before Will is guiding the device back to her mouth again. “Ok, one more time. Breathe as deep as you can-” click, hiss, inhale, “- great, hold it as long as you can.”

This time when Will pulls the inhaler away she manages nearly 5 seconds before her breath is leaving her in a whoosh again. He manages to wriggle the device out of her grasp and drops it into Benny’s waiting palm. The younger Miller drops his hand from her back just long enough to deftly click the cap back on before he returns to his gentle ministrations, inhaler gripped tightly in his other hand. Will still has one hand holding hers to his chest, but the other is now cupping her face as his thumb gently glides back and forth along her cheekbone. 

“Great - you’re doing great.” The blonde murmurs encouragingly. Benny’s alarmed by how bloodshot the whites of her eyes are, but his anxious glance at his brother receives the tiniest shake of the head - Will’s silent acknowledgment of Benny’s communication and a response of ‘not now’. 

Their unbreakable bond and  “strange” silent communication is what had made the brothers the US Military’s most in-demand special ops team. They’d always been able to communicate in an odd, non-verbal way. It was almost a form of telepathy they’d developed as Will had essentially raised his baby brother alone, their father killed in combat when Benny was eight and Will was 13. Their mother had collapsed into a pit of grief that quickly led to violent drink-and-drug fuelled rages.

It had finally claimed her life a few months after Will’s 18th birthday. He’d joined the forces, and it had pushed her into a drugs binge so extreme she’d OD’d. Benny was 15 when he’d found her on the kitchen floor.  

Will was legally old enough to be his brother’s legal guardian, and he was lucky his CO saw the potential in him - pulling strings to make sure Will could start his military career and still look after Benny. 

But Benny had spiralled - causing trouble at school, fighting, doing illegal shit, getting arrested, fucking, drinking, drugs (both taking and dealing)… anything to quiet the demons in his head. 

When Benny was 17 Will had found him unconscious and barely breathing on his bedroom floor after a drink-and-drug-fuelled-bender of his own. His instincts and brand-new training had kicked in and he’d flipped his baby brother onto his side, pounding his back and stopping him choking to death on his own vomit just in time. In the quiet, broken aftermath on the bedroom floor Benny had confessed to feeling relieved when they no longer had to sneak around their mother, lest she fly into a rage and Will take a beating to protect him. Will had softly, achingly admitted he was relieved that he no longer had to fear what she would do to Benny while he was at school or work, but that he would always, always take the hits to protect him, forever. He’d had a new danger to protect his baby brother from, but this time he couldn’t take the bruises in Benny’s place. They talked until the sun rose, and that afternoon Benny cleaned himself up and they went to meet Will’s CO.

They’d rapidly risen through the ranks of the forces together, making it to top-tier special ops in just three years. Will made good on his promise to protect Benny too many times to count, but especially 5 years later when he took 2 bullets that were destined to send Benny to meet their parents again. As Benny quietly cried next to his brother’s hospital bed - a sadly familiar situation in their childhood - he realised it was the first time he’d had cause to do so since their mother died. 

Now, with his gaze entirely focused on her face, Benny feels the moment Will starts to relax. A second later there’s an audible change in the sound of her breathing as her chest finally starts to unlock, the strap around her ribs loosening and her lungs falling back into a shallow but steady rhythm. Benny trusts his brother - and his judgement -  unquestioningly, and allows himself to start to climb down from high alert.  

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Will’s hands have moved to her shoulders. With every ragged breath she seems to slump more and more, almost as if bearing her own weight is getting too tiring, and what started as a comforting tactile connection is fast becoming a grip to keep her upright.  

Benny shuffles to sit beside her on the stony concrete, his side flush against hers. He’s blessed with a body that works impeccably well, but knows from experience how exhausting an anxiety attack can be and expects that an asthma attack would feel similar. After all, they’re called “attacks” for a reason. 

He’s used to them from his own perspective, but to watch someone he loves so much fight not to goddamn suffocate… It’s always prickled at the back of his mind that it must be awful for Will when Benny has his anxiety attacks, but now, with the flayed-raw feeling of terror, adrenaline, and helplessness, he suddenly has a whole new appreciation for his big brother. 

She leans into him, and without hesitation Benny lifts his arm and loops it around the back of  her shoulders, tucking her securely against his body. Will slides his hands down her arms and grips both of her hands in his own, folding himself to sit cross-legged on the ground in front of her. He finds himself suddenly captured by her surprisingly steady gaze, intent clear in her face. After a few seconds she speaks. 

“Thank you. For looking after me.” It’s the first thing she’s been able to say since she came to an abrupt halt halfway through their run together, and her rasping voice is achingly sincere. She holds Will’s gaze for a moment, then twists to catch Benny’s eye too. 

Will’s heart squeezes in his chest, and he has to swallow hard around the lump in his throat. He waits to catch her gaze again before he speaks. “Always, sweetheart.”

Benny finds himself unable to speak when she looks up at him again, his insides suddenly crowded with so many feelings that he can’t express them. He’s not entirely sure they’re all his, certain that some of it is the empathetic absorption of what she’s feeling, what she’s projecting. Fear. Relief. The echo of pain. 

It occurs to him that this is how it feels to have a younger sibling. The responsibility. The terror when something’s wrong and you don’t know if you can fix it. 

Their gaze holds for a long moment before he has to close his burning eyes, and he presses his lips to her forehead until he can push down the tight feeling in his throat. As soon as his lips leave her skin her head droops, coming to rest in the joint of his shoulder with his pec muscle holding her in place. He notices her hands squeezing Will’s in some unheard rhythm, feels the slight tremors that run through her body. 

They stay that way for some time, until Benny’s ass has started to go numb and he’s wondering if she’s fallen asleep. He glances up and catches the glint in Will’s eyes - no doubt reading his mind again, and probably sympathising with his own numb ass. After a few seconds of unspoken communication, Will gives her hands a deliberately firm squeeze and Benny feels the weight of her head lift from his chest. 

The older Miller sibling tilts his head slightly to see her face better.  He can see the exhaustion in her features, the way she seems to struggle to focus on him like her brain keeps zoning in and out. He’s seen it before in so many situations, not least with Benny’s anxiety attacks. 

 He smiles softly, waits for her eyes to focus on his own, and gently inquires “How’re you feeling?”. 

“Yeah, fine.” She answers far too quickly. A conditioned response. Will raises an eyebrow and holds her gaze with his trademark raised-eyebrow-smirk. She relents under his stare with a huff.

“Tired. A bit weird, y’know? My chest and my legs. But I’ll be alright after a shower.”

Will’s nodding, as Benny adds “You should probably eat too, and drink some water.”

She nods jerkily and drops her head again. Will catches his brother’s gaze again, and he hesitates a moment, clearly considering his next words carefully. 

“... I know we were going out to eat with the guys tonight, but -” 

Her head shoots up from Benny’s chest, almost colliding with his chin. “ - No, no, I’ll be fine. I just need to get myself sorted -”

Will rushes to reassure her “ - no no no, I’m saying that I’m more than happy to have an excuse to stay in.”

She doesn’t immediately shoot him down again, but neither does she agree. Benny can practically hear the cogs whirring in her head as she weighs her options - not wanting to be the one who craps off their night out, but ludicrously tempted by the idea of a more casual evening with their friends. 

Will exchanges another look with Benny before giving her another get-out-of-jail-free-card.

“Frankie was making noises about getting take out and watching the new Mission Impossible movie on Sky. To be honest it sounds much better than a crowded, noisy bar.”

Benny jumps on the bandwagon. “Oh man, I was praying someone would take him up on that. I’m in.”

Will smirks, keeping with the easy banter. “Why didn’t you then?”

Benny shrugs just enough to slightly jostle her. “I know you old folk don’t get out much anymore, didn’t wanna get in the way of your retirement-club day trip.” Benny fires right back.  

“You’re technically retired too, y’know.” 

“Yeah but we all know I had to do that so the military wouldn’t notice I was letting you take all the glory for my genius.” 

Will outright laughs, and Benny feels the slight tremor of her giggle through the side of his body as he beams at their success. 

His grin softening, Will ducks his head to catch her gaze again. 

“You ready to head back?”

When she nods and starts to untangle herself from Benny, he jumps in to assure her.

“Hey now, there’s no rush -“

“-Nah my ass has gone numb.” She murmurs, gratefully accepting the two pairs of hands that help her to her feet and steady her when she sways slightly, her eyes going unfocused for a moment. 

“One of us can carry you -“

Benny never gets to finish his sentence. “- no no, I can walk.” She smiles sheepishly. “Thanks though.”

They both nod, but neither completely let go of her as they begin a steady trudge back to the Gym they set out from God only knows how long ago.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Thanks for reading!

There may or may not be an alternative version of this scene in which we learn a lot more about the original female character, but it's currently banging around in my head and my spicy brain takes months to actually work through these things, so please keep checking back!

[midwestmade29]

Choose Me (Part 2)

Christmas writing prompt: #20 (A couple broken up get invited to a Christmas party) Word count: 1,026 Divider by: @benkeibear Be sure to check out @madhatterbri’s [full list] of Christmas/New Year writing prompts!

No warnings really…just lots of angst 😂

Side note: I’m still trying to find the perfect GIF of Christian for this post 😭

The plot certainly thickens in part 2 😳

Christian looked as handsome as ever dressed in his black suit. You let out a dry laugh when you saw the silver tie he was wearing, which coincidentally matched what you were wearing perfectly. Kris stood behind you, staring daggers right into Christian. “Hi Kris.” He said plainly. “Hey Captain douche!” Kris yelled. Christian cleared his throat before speaking to you again, “That’s a really great dress. Is it new?” You scoffed and immediately snapped back “That’s a really nice watch you have on. I know that’s not new.” You could hear Kris snickering behind you, while Christian instinctively looked down at his wrist where the watch you bought him for his last birthday was. You could tell that he was embarrassed still holding onto something from when the two of you were together, you almost felt bad for being so harsh. Almost. “Look Y/N, I wanted to find you so we could talk. If you have a minute, I’d like…” was all he could say before he was interrupted by his date. Shayna (Wayne) linked her arm with Christian’s and smiled at you with disdain. She was well aware of what she was doing when she whispered something into Christian’s ear, keeping her eyes locked on you the whole time. It took a lot for you not to roll your eyes at her, but you didn’t want to give her that satisfaction.

Shayna and Christian had dated long before you and him had gotten together. She had her claws dug deep into him, manipulating him to stay with her since he was mentoring her son. In reality, that was only part of the reason. She enjoyed being Christian’s arm candy and being in the spotlight the storyline between the 3 of them provided. She used him for her own personal gain. When you first met Christian, he was clearly unhappy and broken down. Everything was complicated and messy between him and Shayna that it was no surprise he eventually ended things with her. When you and Christian started spending time together, he seemed so much happier and certainly better off. He was a completely different person! The two of you breathed life into one another and fell completely head over heels. As the months passed, you and Christian officially became a couple, and were inseparable! You knew starting a relationship with him would be tricky, but you dove in headfirst and never looked back. You hated that Shayna and Christian had a history, but you also knew you couldn’t change it. Whenever they were slated to work together for the sake of the storyline, you couldn’t help but be resentful towards her. You always had your suspicions about her and her intentions, even when she claimed she had no interest in Christian anymore.

You absolutely hate the way she treats him and if you’re being honest with yourself, you’re a little jealous of her too. Shayna is everything you’re not. Tall, blonde, and basically living breathing perfection. She turned heads whenever she walked into a room, and she used that to her advantage. Your insecurities about yourself were always at an all-time high whenever she was around, which only made you resent her more. Somewhere along the line of you and Christian being ridiculously happy together, she managed to rip him away from you. To this day, thinking about how fast everything went down still makes your head spin! Clearly your relationship with Christian wasn’t as solid as you thought it was, or else he would be at the party with you tonight instead. When he left you for her, he took a huge piece of your heart with him. You’ll never forget the agony you felt when he left you that night in your apartment and chose her instead. You’re forever grateful to Kris and your friends for trying to piece you back together, even when at times it’s seemed like an impossible task.

Still today, you’re not sure what she said or did to get Christian back. That part haunts you. Other than her looks and business cred, what does she have that you don’t? As hard as you try to convince yourself that the two of them deserve each other, you just can’t let Christian go. “Y/N? Are you okay?” Christian asked. You didn’t even realize you were so lost in thought or notice that Shayna had walked away. “Yes, yeah, I’m fine. Where’s Shayna?” “She told me she wanted me to introduce her to some of the Warner Brothers execs that are here tonight, and I told her that I was trying to talk to you. She got mad and stormed off, she’s probably somewhere pouting.” He shrugged. “I see, well you better get back to her then. I’d hate for her to get wrinkles from all that sulking.” You replied, your words dripping with sarcasm. “Would you really hate that?” he asked, and you immediately said “Nope.” causing both of you to burst out in laughter. God how you missed that sound! When you felt your guard slipping the slightest bit, you composed yourself and changed the subject. “Why did you want to talk to me?” “I wanted to explain myself to you. I didn’t get the chance to tell you everything that night in your apartment.” He said sheepishly. “Didn’t get a chance? Didn’t get a chance?! You’ve had months to talk to me and you chose not to. Not even once! You had all the chances in the world, Christian. I will not give you another!” your words were full of venom and pain. The fact that he had the audacity to even bring this up at the company’s Christmas party was absurd!

“We’re done here!” you said sternly before turning and walking away. “Nice job, jackass!” Kris yelled at Christian. You were certain she said more, but you were too deep in the crowd to hear anything else. When you found an opening in all the people, you took it and made your way towards the exit. As if the night couldn’t get any worse, Shayna suddenly stood in front of you, blocking your way…

Why yes, yes I did make Shayna Wayne the villain in this story 😂😂😂 (Someone had to do it...right?) Obviously there’s going to be a part 3 since this is turning out to be a whole thing…whoops!

[practicalmagicintuitions]

Reading on Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's marriage

DISCLAIMER: If you will send me an Anon, I will answer in the same tone as your ask, opinion is written.

All information and statements made in this reading or any other post of mine are all alleged until proven to be fact and for entertainment purposes & usage only. All information stated is based on my intuition and my tarot cards. Opinion only. The readings have no intention to cause any harm to the individuals, people featured in it.

Cards pulled on 27/05

1. Marriage: 2 of cups rx

I think you all know what this card means. There is no love between them. This card literally can mean separation or divorce. They are unhappy. With the rx cups, they can have a problem with drinking. This also means serious, unhealthy co-dependency which I think can be a factor here too. 

2. What’s next in their marriage?

The Tower, The Magician rx.

(I feel I should insert a gif here, I just haven’t found a proper one)

Serious trouble and destruction are coming. 

The Magician reversed is a trickster. Think about someone influential or charismatic but they use this in a bad way. In the worst-case scenario, this could be a person who has a very unbalanced personality. An imposter, a liar.

This marriage doesn’t perform the way they planned. I think this card is more likely Meghan, because let’s be fair, she is the mastermind behind all of this. And meanwhile, Harry clearly hates his brother he wasn’t clever enough to go true all of this by himself. He needed Meghan to command him what to do. The rx Magician has no plan or if he has those are half-cocked, not good, and cannot be delivered. It’s an abuse of power and I think this is the key here because we have the Tower card. First of all, if you see, the tower on the card has a crown which is falling off… Well, this could mean in my opinion that they will lose their title or that the relationship with the royal family will become even messier. I know, hard to believe but with these too, I can imagine anything. Maybe an attempt to prevent the reconnection between H and the royal family during the divorce. This falling crown can be Harry as a born royal, meaning he will be completely destroyed. The second thing is that there are 2 figures falling off from the tower. Well, these 2 figures are the couple from the Lovers and from The Devil card. So this is a very clear indication that this relationship is beyond repair. However, I thought for a moment that 2 figures ( one male and one female) can be actually Archie and Lilly who will greatly suffer from the divorce and may be used by the reversed magician aka MM. In its worse self, the rx Magician is out of touch with reality, has no morals etc. So I can see that MM will make up lies about her time with Harry. That he was abusive, alcoholic etc and she needed to run off with the kids. 

However because the Tower is coming right after the Devil card where the couple is chained, the fall also means they are chainless finally, and not tied to each other anymore. Again, a strong indication of divorce. The Tower look strong, but eventually, with the right force it’s destructible. As the Tower’s foundation is shaken, maybe the death of the Sussex brand and their marriage is not strong enough to survive this.  

3.MM’s next step

The Fool

Everything is new. A new chapter, new life, new hopes and dreams. I think she will have the same mentality when she entered into the RF and when she left, that this is her chance and now she will make it. Maybe this will be her “single mother who escaped from a bad marriage” act. Her new projects maybe will be about this, not about their love that conquered all, but her strength and ability to start over. Harry has no place in this anymore. This is a one-woman act. The Fool also has a staff and knapsack whit his belongings in it, so this suggests me a move as her next step. Going back is not an option after she made up her mind. If it’s not a move it could be a long holiday or travel abroad. The dog represents a friend or family who is trying to warn the Fool not to be reckless. I think she has sidekicks too, who maybe are more worried about this new beginning than she is. The Fool can represent a new love too.  

4.PH’s emotional state

King of Swords clarified with the Knight of Pentacles. 

This is a very very interesting combo and like every court card is not easy to unfold. Swords as a suit is Air, communication, and legal matters. Pentacles are Earth, materials, money, jobs etc. However: every king is earth and every knight is fire. And those elements are influencing the suits. So we have an Earth-influenced Air and a Fire-influenced Earth. Do you know what is missing here? Cups aka water aka emotions. So it feels PH’s positive emotions, love, caring etc have run dry and he is just unbalanced. When I drew the KnofP I immediately thought about disasters like earthquakes or volcano eruptions. Or the Earth itself as its core is hot, burning, bubbling lava. This is PH is now. Trying to be as cool and as level-headed as he can but he is very angry.  

KofSw is a sombre figure who is trying to focus outside rather than inside. Maybe he knows that some legal stuff is coming and he is trying to be a good boy, rebuilding a certain image meanwhile he almost explodes because of the internal conflicts he has. 

On the throne of the KofSw there is a butterfly motif. Butterflies are symbols of transformation. He is in a state of metamorphosis. Maybe he realised MM never loved him or that she will throw him under the bus without a second thought if she has to.

This combo can mean that his thoughts revolve around his legal cases as swords are legal matters. I also got the feeling that he is missing his bachelor days. Being a family man is not like what he imagined, he is definitely missing his military, single times when he could just get rid of unwanted women. 

5.MM’s emotional state

4 of Cups, Page of Wands

She is not interested in what her current life can offer. She is bored and fed up because her plans didn’t play out the way she wanted so she is making new plans now (PoW). If we think about the suits as a story sequence before this card there is the 3 of Cups, which is the high life, partying, drinking, and good times, and the 4 of C is the apathy after all of those fun times gone. She is there now. No one gives a damn about her anymore since she is not part of the Firm. So she needs plans. Pages are Air, so here we have an Air influenced Fire. Thoughts and actions at the same time. She cannot accept that the world is not her oyster anymore, so she needs to be seen as influential and impactful. The interesting thing with this Page is that he is all for the bigger picture but doesn’t care about the details. Like MM’s car chase story: being seen as the new Diana but she failed at the details. And this won’t change. Maybe she will be more careful for a while but overplaying everything is in her nature. This page loves drama and excitement so she is up for this. A broken fairytale marriage is a perfect opportunity to be the centre of attention and live for the drama.  This card also can mean travel, in the background those can be pyramids and I cannot help myself but my first thought was she will mention the disastrous Cleopatra “docu” on Netflix. I hope she is not that stupid though. Page of Wands and The Fool also shows some similarities, the staff, the potential travel, planning new things and the excitement because of it etc. This is a very strong theme here.

All in all, turbulent times are coming.

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

lol the irony… you guys are the ones who take the relationship too much to heart. You are the ones who go onto the freaking tarot blogs asking if Evan is in love with Natalie or if he’s serious with her and asking for details about the “soulmate” so you can try to match it up with yourselves. You watch Natalie like a hawk. You guys are the ones who make up narratives and theories about the type of person Natalie is and her intentions. You guys are the ones who make posts on the subreddit like “Do you think Evan’s gf reads what is said about her?” “Why doesn’t Michelle follow Natalie?” “It’s seems like disapproval of Natalie isn’t welcome here.” Please gain some perspective and self awareness. Over here we just want Evan to be happy whether that’s with Natalie or not. You guys are the ones who are vindictive, jealous, malicious, and are actively rooting for them to breakup and rooting for Evan to be unhappy. Get help.

⬆️THIS ⬆️ Thank you !!!!! Anybody praying for the downfall of Evan’s relationship with Natalie, when there isn’t even any information available to condemn her, are NOT fans of Evan, do not have his best interest at heart, do not want him to be happy and are only interested in their own needs and wants. Period! Y’all are selfish and nasty as fuck! Evan doesn’t want your ass! Evan will never want your ass! You’re only thinking of yourselves and satisfying some fucked up fetish you have with him. What Admin and a lot of the sane, respectful people on this blog have maintained is a positive openness to Natalie, because we have no reason not to!! Until that woman actually does something for us to look at her crazy, be nice, be respectful and be happy for them! Even if they amicably split, I am not going to fall apart over it. It will have ran its course and there’s nothing wrong with that. All you pathetic, ignorant outsiders quit coming here and being so damn negative. If you just don’t want to hear about Natalie, go somewhere else!! No one told you that you had to park your bitter ass here! I personally happen to like Natalie, she’s a cool smart girl, even without Evan. Leave Natalie alone!

preach, anon. 🙏🏼 take your miserable asses somewhere else. i’ve made my stance clear a million times - you have zero reason to be on my blog if you feel this way.

and don’t come into my ask box on an alt acting stunned if you’re suddenly blocked and banned from my blog. i’ve been cleaning house. turn your self right around, and go back to one of the numerous blogs that welcome your negativity and unjustified gripes, because that’s where you belong. this is just not a place you’re welcome to be rude and unfairly hate on women. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[rollercoasterwords]

hey, so. i was not planning to say anything about this, and i am still a bit wary of like...inserting myself into this conversation in any way beyond the one ask i've already answered. but. i know that some of my posts and words have been tied into the whole no post november thing, and i just...idk. i feel like i want to clarify some things about the intention of my tiktokification essay.

the fundamental basis of what i was trying to critique in that post was interacting with fanfiction through the framework of a consumer economy. that is the core of it. that is what i view as the root issue behind many of the instances of harassment and just all-around shitty behavior that i see in the marauders fandom. my personal stance is that we should be treating fanfiction + ao3 as a source of community outside of any consumer economy, which to me means that

there is no clear boundary between readers and writers. there is no clear delineation between producers and consumers. we are all meant to be in community with each other.

fanfiction should not be subject to the same sort of criticism that you might levy against media produced within a consumer economy. that's what i'm talking about in my tiktokification essay and a few other posts i've made, so i'm not going to go into detail here -- i feel like i've already made where i stand on this clear

there are no celebrities. there are no "big name" content creators. there are no influencers. someone having their work advertised without their knowledge on a different social media platform and suddenly finding themselves with an audience they never asked for does not mean we should suddenly start treating those people as if they are influencers who intentionally sought out "fandom fame." obviously, it's different if someone is advertising their work with an intent to grow some sort of following or audience, but if someone is just writing stories and posting them and hoping to foster some community where they get to talk about characters and stories they enjoy, i don't think it is fair to catapult those people into a limelight they never asked for.

so like. that is my perspective on fanfiction as a community. that is what i mean when i say fanfiction is meant to exist outside a consumer economy. and when i say i am wary of framing a stand against harassment as a strike, it is because striking is inerently tied to the framework of a consumer economy, and i do not think it's possible to undo that framework by working within it. i will reiterate - i think it is great to see writers standing in solidarity with each other. however, if my essay is going to be part of that stand against harassment (which i am okay with! i wrote it because i was unhappy about the harassment i was seeing) then i guess i just...want to make sure that people understand the core of what that essay is critiquing.

i'm going to leave my thoughts there for now. my intention with this post is not to engage in any sort of debate or argument--as i've said many times, the thoughts i post on my blog are nothing more than personal thoughts and opinions; i am not claiming to be any sort of expert, and i am never seeking anything other than conversation. i am happy to discuss my perspective on the frameworks we use to engage with fanfiction, and i know that once i post something on the internet i don't have control over the ways in which my words might be interpreted. but hopefully this helps to clarify the core issue that i was attempting to critique with my tiktokification essay for those who are now coming to my blog to read it amidst everything going on.

[findinginga]

A Self-Inflicted Injury…

...that was completely avoidable!

As I was drawing my last entry to a close, I made reference to the multiple dating site profiles which were active for Inga.  Whether she had a direct hand in creating these or, as she claimed, they were created on her behalf, only Ingeborga would know for certain.  However, what cannot be in dispute were the many social media accounts used by Inga on multiple platforms.  Likewise, she maintained several SMS-like accounts as well as email profiles.  What became abundantly clear through our communication was that Inga would not hesitate to abandon any one of these when she believed that the medium may have been compromised/discovered.  

I often wondered why someone would be so intent on breaking into one of her accounts.  Perhaps she was concerned about the reaction of her husband?  Was there a jealously obsessed former lover that she was dodging?  There was always the possibility she was covering her tracks to avoid exposure.  Inga addressed my curiosity by explaining that there had been many attempts to compromise her Google mail and other communication platforms.  For her, she explained, it was a matter of security.  It was an explanation but, as was the case with many of the answers supplied by Inga, there was little to no substance behind her words.  There seemed to be an expectation that her version of the truth would be accepted without challenge.  However, one only needed to consider her liberal use of aliases to be puzzled. 

Among the names Ingeborga used were Jackie Bonny, Anastasia Summer, Anastasia Winter, as well as Ingeborga Sosedova.  No doubt there were more.  During the time that Inga and I were routinely in communication, her preferred email platform was through Gmail.  She has since discontinued this account, likely in favor of a new one but, I will return to this point in a subsequent post.  As I noted previously, it was obvious she needed to feel in control of what people knew and who had access to her.  Did this truly reflect a degree of paranoia suggesting emotional pathology or were these the actions of someone who needed to hide her actions from others?

No, I am not stalling...

Now, I do not wish to give the impression I am procrastinating.  I realize I should advance the story beyond minute details and musings.  While these little detours may help to fill in some of the gaps, I fear I am merely trying to spare myself the embarrassment of further revealing my gullibility.  So, let me get back to the timeline.

I previously offered ample evidence of the need to stand clear of the speeding locomotive headed toward me.  Well, not only did I choose to be willfully oblivious to the onrushing danger, I actually walked out onto proverbial tracks to hasten the catastrophe.  Yes, I stood still only to have the train flatten me, again!  In retrospect, it was a real Wile E. Coyote move.

Encountering the Inga Express

As I wrote in my last entry, I elected to give Ingeborga a pass for everything up to that point in time.  It did not matter to me that she was married.  I was able to rationalize her marital status as a reflection of an unhappy marriage and her desire to seek a better life.  My acceptance of this ignored the real possibility that Inga was involved in criminal activity.  Whether alone or in concert with members of her family, she deliberately misled and falsified information for her own gain.  Disregarding these consequential factors, I was offering Ingeborga immunity, which she readily accepted.

Becoming an enabler...

After enduring an awkward week, Inga and I settled back into our routine pattern of email exchanges.  The volume was slow at first but then built back to pre-confrontation levels.  Normal of our interactions were discussions of clothes, particularly dresses.  Our discussions included her soliciting my opinions about her fashion choices with Inga including email attachments of dresses, lingerie and the like.  Victoria Secret, Zara and Selkie were websites she favored.  Inga would gleefully browse and add to her electronic shopping cart while I would finish the transaction by entering my credit card and shipping information.

In an effort to avoid having me reship items to an address where I knew she did not reside, Inga discovered the option of using a reshipper.  Rather than enter my residence as the delivery address, the contact information of the reshipper was used as her mailing address.  Once I placed the order, purchased items were sent to the service which would then contact Ingeborga.  She would pay a fee and the reshipper would repackage the items and forward them on to her in Pskov.  Inga would argue that this process avoided the inconvenience of me taking time from my work day to package and seal a shipping container to be sent on by the US Postal Service.  Of course, it really had the effect of blinding me to the actual destination.

Why was I so eager to be complicit in this make believe? 

[bugsandcoffee]

Not sure if anyone in particular will really care about this but I have decided to post my final Evanstan and Stucky works between now and April.

This fandom is clearly not gonna bring me the joy it used to anymore. I should have done the smart thing and left ages ago but I kept hoping I'd get that spark of joy again and that I'd somehow feel safe and happy again. It has become clear to me that that is not gonna happen.

I wanna fulfil some commitments and finish some things I started. But after that, it is time for me to move on.

I think I might delete this blog. I'm not 100% yet. For now it is running on a queue and I'll probably only log in to post fics and such. But you can talk to me if you want and I will try to respond.

I also want to add four more notes:

- I am sorry that I made people unhappy. That was never the intention. I just wanted to feel safe and enjoy fandom again.

- If I block someone on here or on Twitter it is probably because these websites keep recommending blogs / accounts, even when you are trying to respect boundaries, create boundaries or just choosing to not engage. It's not on those people. It's just weird websites not functioning properly.

- I won't be talked out of this. Like I said, I should just have done this a long time ago. I was weirdly optimistic about things and I think it just worsened things.

- I don't know what will happen to @evanstan-daily and @amazingstuckyevents. It kinda depends on whether Seashell, Piper and I make a mod account and on whether Seashell wants to keep running things or not. It's taking up a lot of spoons for us both, especially with Piper leaving and we gotta see if we have those spoons.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me and been my friend. Goodbye and good luck. You'll still see me between now and whenever I finish all my stuff. Just not much. It's time for me to move on.

[summersnow82]

The Scent of Roses - Part 8

Fanfiction_X-Men

Fictober 2023_Prompt 31: “It’s not your fault.”

Author's note: A kind anon let me know my posts weren't showing up in the tags recently. Here's hoping that'll change. Thanks for sticking with me.

.....

Sabrina had been right: her class was not ready to discuss And Then There Were None – which was a shame because it’s a phenomenal read. Instead they had questions, concerns, fears to address, and a nasty rumor about Rogue Sabrina intended to nip in the bud immediately.

“Quiet down, quiet down!” She called, gaining her students attention. “Now let’s be clear here – there’s enough bickering outside these mansion walls. It will not happen in my classroom, understood?” The students all reluctantly nodded. “And further more,” she looked directly at Rogue who was staring at her desk a bit too intently. “Rogue did nothing wrong. Rogue.” The young woman looked up, surprised she was being called out so directly. “It’s not your fault. I made a choice, and some of my team were unhappy about it.” She turned to look at the other students, taking the time to meet their eyes. “I made the choice. Me. So if you want someone to blame look right here.”

Sabrina sighed, raking a hand through her hair. She hadn’t had time to put it in a French twist or a high ponytail like she preferred. She’d barely had time to grab a suitable outfit, but the blue and white polka dot midi dress with a flared skirt, short white gloves, a pale pink cardigan, and navvy ballet flats would have to do for now. She’d deal with her hair later. She moved to the front of her desk, perching on the edge to survey her class. “We’re going to use this class to talk about your concerns with this cure. Your hopes, your fears, all of it. So,” she stood, flashing them a smile, “let’s move these desks into a circle, shall we?”

….

His political appointment as Secretary of Mutant Affairs left Hank with little free time, and for this reason he’d resigned as a full time teacher at Xavier’s school. Still, when he was home he would often take three or four students under his wing for mentoring and academic expansion. Charles had also given him a small drama class to conduct, which oftentimes paired with Jean’s public speaking class. He’d yet to speak to Charles about his news from the President, and to his credit, the older man had let Hank marinate in his thoughts without prompting. But he’d had his cup of coffee – more than one, actually – and time to mull over a number of rising concerns and issues, and now he needed to find his old friend.

And probably take care of some hygiene issues on the way. He glanced down at his rumpled clothes and grimaced.

Xavier’s school had a number of classrooms, but not all of them were presently being used. Several teachers had resigned or left, which wasn’t uncommon. Hank and Sabrina had both left at one point or another, as had Warren and Kurt. Logan consistently behaved as if the front door were a revolving door. Their staff numbers were currently lower than ever, and many teachers were taking on several classes to make sure the students educational needs were being met. Logan was tackling history and shop class; Jean had genetics and public speaking; Sabrina was teaching English while acting as the guidance counselor; Storm had environmental sciences and art; Scott had mathematics and physical education; and the Professor was teaching ethics and psychology. Each adult was part of a rotation for the Danger Room training for the older students, and they were always paired up differently. Hank would need to check his schedule again and see if he needed to trade shifts.

His thoughts consumed him as he headed towards his room, and he didn’t realize he was passing Sabrina’s classroom until he was walking by the doorway. His eyes tracked the way her hair fell around her shoulders, how her eyes lit up as she spoke to her students, and how her lips always seemed to have a touch of a smile as she engaged with them. “All these feelings and thoughts are completely valid, guys,” she said, looking around the room. “We’re in uncharted waters, but I promise you there’s no one better to navigate this than Professor Xavier and Dr. McCoy. You have the best of the best looking out for you.”

Hank couldn’t help himself. He turned on his heel, propped himself up in the classroom doorway, and crossed his arms across his broad chest. “Do you really think so, Professor Snow?” His deep baritone made everyone look his way, but none looked more startled than Sabrina herself. She hadn’t realized she had an audience for her class. A chorus of cheers went up from the students – Hank was arguably one of the more popular teachers at Xavier’s school – and with his political position he was currently a hot topic on campus. Hank regarded the students warmly before turning his attention back to Sabrina. “I apologize, Professor Snow. I didn’t mean to crash your class.” He held her gaze as he spoke, watched her take a deep breath before she forced a smile.

“Nonsense. You’re always welcome here.” Her tone told him he was actually not welcome at all, and a few of the students exchanged glances.

“Professor Snow, can Dr. McCoy join our conversation, too?” Kitty Pryde asked, glancing between the two of them. The younger woman was notably observant and direct.

Sabrina faltered for a moment, but then her mouth quirked up in a small smile. “Of course, Kitty. But I’m sure Dr. McCoy has many pressing items on his schedule. He probably doesn’t have the time.” She shot him a look that expressly told him to take the out she was offering. Instead, he all but smirked, pushing away from the door jamb and striding into the classroom like the cat who ate the canary. With amazing ease and grace he leapt in the air, somersaulted over the students heads, and came to stand next to Sabrina who was perched on her own desk.

“I’m never too busy for you,” he said to the class, but his eyes were on Sabrina’s. There wasn’t much she could do in front of the students without causing a scene; Hank knew it, she knew it, and he intended to take full advantage. “Now,” he said, projecting his voice and turning to face the kids. “What would you like to know?”

A number of hands shot up, and Hank chuckled. “What about you, Bobby?”

The younger man lowered his hand almost reluctantly, then said, “Are you going to get the cure, sir?”

Hank should’ve expected it, but he’d been too busy showboating and teasing Sabrina to consider the ramifications of this very serious topic. He probably looked as stunned as he felt, and for just a ghost of a moment Sabrina placed her gloved hand on his arm. “Bobby, that’s a very personal question,” she said gently.

“Yeah, but it kind of matters, right?” Kitty said. “I mean, if the teachers we’re learning from are considering getting it then maybe there’s some merit to it.”

Hank drew his mouth in a tight, firm line, and glanced over at Sabrina. “That’s a very good point, Kitty,” he said, rubbing his jaw. “If I’m being honest, I’ve thought of it, yes. I suppose every mutant with a visible mutation has considered it. It can be difficult when you can’t pass for a human. However,” he raised a finger. “There is still much we do not know about this so called cure. Will it last? Are there side effects? What else might it do to us?” He stepped away from the desk into the center of the desk-formed circle. “This cure has been released without – to our knowledge – long term testing, and perhaps questionable methods. I have been tasked with answering these questions, and more, and I will be leaving in a few days time to do just that.” He turned back to Sabrina, all seriousness and sincerity now. “I was hoping you might accompany me, Miss Snow. A talent like yours could prove invaluable to our team, and you have the credentials to back you up.” Sabrina’s eyes widened and her mouth dropped open for a moment before she clamped it shut. He gave her a small, genuine smile. “Something to consider, of course.”

More hands shot up in the air. Hank took his time answering a number of them, some technical, some incredibly simple, but all important to the students before him.

“What if they come for us here?” A young girl by the name of Jenna asked. Jenna was relatively new to the school, and still finding her voice, figuratively and literally.

The room got very quiet, and Hank rose to his full height. “Then I assure you, dear girl, that would be a most grave error on their part.”

“Professor Snow?” Rogue had been quiet for most of the class, but now she raised her eyes and looked Sabrina in the eye. “Are you going to get the cure?”

Hank turned to see Sabrina take a deep breath, let it loose, and hop down from her perch. She moved around the desk to the black board and began writing. “Anthony Smalls. Three years old. Taken from his home for a million dollar ransom.” Her hand moved quickly as she spoke, the clack-clack of the chalk the only sound other than her voice. “Violet Henries. Six years old. Taken from her school to sway a jury. Jonathan Edwards. Three months old. Taken by a jealous ex-wife. Julietta Gonzalez. Twelve years old. Taken for trafficking. Robert Sweat. Thirteen years old. Also taken for trafficking.” She continued on with a list of names and ages accompanying them with a reason for the kidnapping. The class was quiet as she worked, and Hank watched her as a new level of comprehension descended upon him.

Sabrina didn’t stop talking until the chalkboard – at least what she could reach of it – was filled with names. She turned back to the class. “These aren’t even half of the children I’ve been able to return to their homes and families alive because of my abilities. Another dozen were found postmortem, and the ability to bring their loved ones home offered the families a sense of closure.” She put the chalk down, dusted off her hands, and walked around her desk. She removed her gloves as she did so, securing them in her dress pockets. “I cannot touch anything or anyone,” her finger trailed over a desk causing her eyes to faintly glow. “Without taking something away. Memories, thoughts, emotions. In some cases, even talents and abilities. This makes relationships difficult.” She brushed by Hank as she spoke, and he tracked her path with curious eyes. “I walk into a room and I immediately can sense the atmosphere. This makes crowds difficult. I can’t go to concerts or movies on opening night or many special events. But I can assess danger quickly, read a person’s intentions, and bring children home to their families. Our lives as mutants are not easy ones; I know Professor Xavier has drilled this into you in his Ethics class. Oftentimes what we think is a curse is actually a gift. Maybe not for us, but for someone else.” She pointed at the chalkboard. “If I can do that, what can you do?” She turned to Rogue. “I won’t be getting the cure, no matter how much I might be tempted. Someone has to keep the real monsters at bay.”