#Past Child Abuse

[wangxianficrecs]

the world wags on by justdoityoufucker

🔒 the world wags on

by justdoityoufucker (orphan_account)

T, 5k, Wangxian & Wei Changze/Lan Qiren

Summary: Wei Ying learns quickly that he cannot be seen by the Jiang. Or, more specifically, he can’t be seen by Madam Yu, who seems to be around the streets of the city more than she ever had been before. Her seeing him will result in the usual spoken barbs, but also in lashings with the sparking purple of Zidian if there are few around. - Or, the one where Wei Changze returns. Kay's comments: Recently re-read this gem and loved it just as much as I did when the story first came out. Having Wei Changze and Lan Qiren getting together works surprisingly well and of course it's a delight to have Wei Ying grow up in Gusu, as a Lan. It starts out heart-breaking and then it turns out so soft and the petty part of me enjoyed watching the Jiangs flounder as well. Excerpt: Qiren looks as if he’s seen a ghost when the disciple leads Wei Changze into his office, dropping his brush. In a way, he has seen a ghost. “Changze,” he gasps, stumbling to his feet, nearly overturning his desk in his haste, “you—how? The boy??” “She’s gone, a-Ren,” and he can’t keep the grief out of his voice. He’s had five years, yes, but really he’s only had the past week. “I almost died during the hunt; I didn’t remember anything—not until a week ago. a-Ying—” He almost feels like he’s going to collapse if he has to think about what a-Ying went through for months, years, when he should’ve been loved and cared for. “Sit,” Qiren says, leading him to the table, hand remaining on his arm as if when he lets go, Wei Changze will disappear again. “a-Ren, they threw him out,” he says, because he has not been able to talk about this with anyone else and he cannot hold back any longer. “Fengmian didn’t even know if he still lived; my son, like he was naught but some trash!”

pov wei changze, canon divergence, pov wei wuxian, wei changze lives, lan qiren/wei changze, somebody lives/not everybody dies, dysfunctional jiang family, jiang family bashing, past child abuse, parent-child relationship, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, childhood friends

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[celtic-crossbow]

Whumpuary Day 25-26 & 29-31

Prompts: Can’t stay awake | “You’re safe.”

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Drugging, Overdose, Allusions to past child abuse

gif by @daryl-dixon-daydreams

“What the fuck are you doing?!” You shouted, keeping your eyes on Daryl while Tomi loudly rummaged through cabinets and drawers behind you. “Daryl. Daryl, stay awake.”

“M’tired.” The archer mumbled, eyelids heavy, breaths slowing before your eyes. 

“Tomi!” You snapped again. 

“They injected him with some sort of opioid. I need narcan.” Things were flying around, hitting the floor as the surgeon continued his frantic search. “How’s his breathing?”

“Too slow.” You shook Daryl again. Each time he responded, you felt a short lived relief but it never lasted long. “Daryl, stay with me. Look at me.”

“Y/N…tired…”

“I know but you can’t sleep.” Those normally sharp blues were dull, his pupils contracted to barely there black dots inside the pale cerulean. His eyes closed, head lolling forward. “Daryl? Daryl!” He inhaled sharply, giving you hope that he might regain a normal breathing pattern. 

He didn’t. 

“Can’t…can’t stay…”

“You have to. Just for a few more minutes okay?” You hadn’t seen when the man had used the syringe, only catching Daryl yanking it from his neck to angrily toss it aside before plunging his knife through the attacker’s skull. It wasn’t even a minute before the archer staggered back against the wall and slid down to where he still sat. “Tomi!” When Daryl’s eyes closed this time, he didn’t reopen them. 

“I’m trying!”

“Daryl!” His breaths were further and further apart, agonizing torture to know that one would eventually be his last. 

“If he stops breathing, you need to breathe for him.”

“Al-alright.” You could do that. You placed two fingers to his neck, counting the beats over and over, witnessing that number fall each time. “Please, please.”

“Got it!” Tomi dropped down beside the archer, foregoing any measure of sterilizing to just jab the needle into the muscle of Daryl’s bicep. 

“What now?”

“We wait. He never stopped breathing. The narcan should level him out enough to move him safely.” The nod you gave was curt and unbidden, your sole focus was the rise and fall of Daryl’s chest. “Okay. Okay, good. It’s picking up. I’ll get a stretcher. Keep watching his breathing.” Another nod. 

“Daryl, can you hear me?” Unresponsive. At least each breath was coming in at a slow, but steady pace. You could work with that for now. The wheels of the stretcher were loud in the otherwise empty hospital.

“Vitals are stable for now. I grabbed all the narcan but we need to have access to intubation supplies and IV fluids.” At your confused expression, he added, “I’ll need to insert a tube to help him breathe for a while if he struggles to on his own.”

You nodded calmly before the two of you struggled and fumbled to get Daryl onto the stretcher. Truthfully, the thought of Daryl needing a machine to keep breathing was horrifying. For that moment, you just continued to watch his chest, breaths remaining steady and unlabored. 

It took only moments for an IV to be inserted and fluids to begin running into the archer’s hand. His breathing slowed only once more and one last dose of narcan was administered. 

Hours later, Tomi concluded that Daryl was out of danger and would likely wake up at any moment. So you waited, instinctively listening for danger as employees returned to the hospital, the walkers having been cleared as well as the living threats, thanks in part to the man on the bed in front of you. 

You couldn’t wait to get him home and sleep for at least a day, snug against his side with your head over his heart, able to hear each beat and feel each breath. 

Finally, his fingers twitched in your hold, his head rolling back and forth on the pillow, face scrunching. 

“Daryl?” You stood, leaning over him. He hated hospitals. The memories of so many visits when he was a child, broken bones and open wounds at the hands of his father. You wanted to be the first person he saw and heard, in hopes of easing that anxiety. 

His eyes were clouded, tired and unfocused, when they finally landed on you. “Where ‘m I?” He slurred, still appearing to be exhausted and slightly influenced by the drug working its way through his system. 

“You’re in the hospital. You’re safe and you’re gonna be okay.” You squeezed his hand, smiling when he weakly reciprocated. 

“Tell me what happened?” His eyes were already trying to close, most likely without his permission but leaving him with no choice. 

“When you wake up. I’ll tell you everything when you wake up.”

Daryl hummed and inhaled deeply before settling into a peaceful sleep; one you didn’t fear and from which you knew he would wake. For now, though, you’d rest your head on the hand holding his and count his breaths like counting sheep until you joined him in blissful unawareness. 

[morgansunflower]

So Much Love

Wally West X Wife! Batsis! Reader

Warnings:suggestive content, past child abuse mention, explicit language and angst.

Words:1463

Arthur's notes! Third P. O. V

Y/N is 5 months pregnant with Wally's baby. She confronts her husband after he becomes distant from her.

The news of her pregnancy was a complete delight to not only the Wayne family(adopted included) and the Allen's but also to the team. During the news of her pregnancy Wally was overjoyed but as she began to show more..

He barely touched her. Barely even looked at her. She had enough and she needed answers before she exploded at him. Y/N stands with her arms folded looking to Wally who had guiltily expression on his face.

"do you even want to have a baby Wally? Because these last few weeks you barely even look at me. You avoid talking about names. You haven't gone with me to my appointments in weeks... You have to be honest with me!"

"I.. I..I.. I know" he didn't know what to say or how to form the right words of how truly scared he is "I.. I don't know how... To say.. "

"well until you do. Don't sleep with me!" she snapped tears running down her face

Wally feels absolutely sick. Damaged as she slammed their bedroom door shut.. He speeded out of their home. He stood in front Roy's house. He knew Grayson would worry too much and is too close to Barbara who is close to Y/N. Barry was currently off planet with a justice league mission. Roy was more of his older brother figure over the years. He didn't feel like running his emotions out.

It's 2:45 a:m. He moved his hand to ring the doorbell. He then stopped realizing Lian is probably asleep right now.. Oh right Lian. Best she doesn't see her uncle like this. He sits on the step to the porch.

"get your shit together West" he sighed to himself with a bitter laugh while pinching the bridge of his nose.

Donna Harper maiden name Troy wakes as she heard footsteps on their porch. She shakes her husband's shoulder

"hmm already ready for round two Don" he yawned with a smirk

She roll her eyes scoffing "not that! I hear someone on our porch Roy"

"what?.." he said still not registering what his wife said.

"oh for the love of--" he cut her off

"relax Don I got it now"

Roy sat up and pulled up the security camera to the front porch.

"Wally?" the couple both said

Roy quickly gets out of the bed. She followed suit putting on her robe as Roy put on his sweatpants. Roy and Don step to the kitchen. He opens the fridge grabbing two drinks with a box of cold leftover pizza. Don kisses his lips.

"you know the drill"

Wally hears the entrance door open and then heard the door shut.

"couldn't have called us West?" he asked with a soft laugh "you ok kid?"

He sits next to him and offers the drink to him. He gives Wally the box of pizza! He snatched the box opening it and grabbed a piece. He began to devour the pizza. Wally swallow hard and put the empty box behind him. Wally drinks some of the beverage

"what's going on kid?" Roy further questioned his deeply stressed friend

Wally ran his fingers through his short red hair "I'm not in the mood to fucking talk about my feelings Roy" Wally scoffed lying. He did, he needed to confide in his brother.

"when you gonna stop lying to me kid? I told you can trust me" Wally then began thinking back to when he was getting abused by his dad.. The source of what was bothering him.. Roy was there for Wally. He always is.

Angered he extend his arm glaring off in the distance "it's not that fucking simple Roy. I promised her I was happy but--" he sighed heavily his throat shaking

"Wally you two will work things out" he said with a shrug to his shoulders "she loves you enough to put up with you"

"I don't want to be him ok" Wally said shallow breath "I look at her and I think about the baby. Then my joy is absolutely ripped away as I think about..."

"West.. You're--" he cut him off

"don't, just don't." he hissed "I'm fine Roy. I acted like a complete dumbass. I deserve to feel like this" his voice broken

"no your not and no you don't. Wally listen to me man. Just tell her what's going on. It's not gonna stop hurting but it will get easier" Roy promised him.

"I am so fucked up right now Roy. I keep having nightmares of me turning into.. Him" Wally lightly shakes his head being honest with himself "I don't know how.. " he feels so broken. Like he's sick. He takes another gulp of his drink "I am going to lose her" he strutted clenching his face.

"go home West, be honest with her.." Roy yawns taking the empty drinks and boxed pizza. Wally gently nodded taking his friends advice "well I'm exhausted some kid-idiot woke me up" he sarcastically said Roy stands ruffling Wally's hair like he did when he was a kid "go home, talk to your wife. Fix this. You're gonna be a great Dad Wallman. You're great with kids and honestly you're not ever going to be like him"

As he opens the door "you got me out of the storm again Red" Wally thanked

"I'm always here to be your therapist but try to come at normal hours.."

It's 4 o'clock in the morning. Y/N sits on the recliner chair rubbing her bump lovingly. She had fresh tears running down her face. Y/N feels a gush a wind seeing Wally with food from her favorite restaurant. He knew the baby always was kicking at this time of night and she would be having cravings.

"I know I've severely fucked up, I know this won't fix it"

He fixes her a plate and a glass of water. Wally gave her the plate of food and sat the glass on the coffee table. Wally sits on the couch still trying to convince himself he won't ever be like his parents. Y/N finished her plate of food. Wally speeded to take, her plate to the sink and clean it.. Then he puts, it away and comes back to sit on the couch.

"do you not want the baby?" she asked yet again trying not to sob "are you not happy anymore?"

The speedsters heart physically heavies. He made her feel like that. Wally shakes his head as his eyes became glassy. Wally kneels beside her taking her hand and gently kisses the palm of her hand.

"babe I am so sorry I made you feel like I wasn't happy with you.. I couldn't be happier. I just am scared.. Of hurting you and our baby" his eyes shake. He tried so hard to keep from crying. He stuttered choking back a cry "I'm so scared of becoming him Y/N... I didn't know how to tell you.. I just tried to block all my emotions and ignore them.. I don't want to hurt you or our baby.. Because I love you.. And our baby so much. If anything would ever happen to you or our baby it'd kill me"

She takes his hand.. With so much love and a hint of sympathy. How is she still in love with him?

"Wally, you're my love. You are so much full of light and love.. You are nothing like him. You are my other half and I love you. Our baby will love you"

She pulled him closer into a hug. He lays on her chest letting himself cry. He kisses her bump feeling the baby kick for the first time. Then guilt hits her hard enough to make her cry.

"I should have told you sooner I just you'd been distant from me and I.."

"what's wrong? Is something wrong with the b-baby?" he asked his voice became heavier as a tear falls down.

"I'm not pregnant with just one baby" she admits

A wide smile came to his lips.

Months later...

It was late in the night Wally was cuddled up next to his wife after patrol with Nightwing. She had just told him to be quiet so he didn't wake up their son. As Wally finally felt rested he hears a gentle cooing sound from the baby monitor.

Wally speeded into the nursery. He lifts his daughter into his arms. He loved to hold her. To hold his son.. He loved them so much it was better than getting struck by lightning, better than anything. The fact that his wife went through what she did to bring them into the world.. He began to cry. He never thought he could feel so much adoration and love.

[whump-tr0pes]

Honor Bound 6 - 25

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound, Honor Bound 2, Honor Bound 3, Honor Bound 4, Honor Bound 5, and the prequel Vera.

AO3

Masterlist

Contents: PTSD, Ellis is pregnant and also a grumpy asshole, themes of self-harm, Ellis being cringe, past captivity, past child abuse, fucky coping mechanisms around past child abuse, discussion of murder, angst, recovery

~

It kept occurring to Isaac that there really wasn’t much to the town of Laporte. Not the proper downtown area, anyway. There was the general store, the post office that doubled as the gathering space, the clothing and alterations shop, the feed and machinery shop, the tannery, and a few other buildings that Isaac couldn’t deduce the use for just from looking at them. He wondered if some of them had a seasonal use, or if some of them stood empty. The town had the look of a place that had been abandoned for a long time and was only now starting to fill up with people again. Still, it had never been large to begin with – that much was obvious. He could see the entire town at once, glancing down the street. There were so few places to run, to hide, to find cover.

As if Gavin could sense his unease, he nudged Isaac’s shoulder. “You okay?” Gavin murmured.

“Of course,” Isaac said flatly. “Just looking around.” General store, clothing shop, post office. Feed and machine shop, tannery. Right side of the street, left. He tried to tell himself that his eyes were sweeping both sides of the street equally, that he was giving equal attention to each building as he looked around casually for threats.

He tried to tell himself that his eyes weren’t flicking to the door of the post office every few seconds.

Gavin followed Isaac’s gaze with his own and squeezed Isaac’s hand. “I… I don’t need to be in town, Isaac, I just wanted to be outside—”

“No,” Isaac snapped. He bit his tongue, regret flooding him. “I’m sorry. No. It’s alright.”

Gavin held Isaac’s gaze for a long moment. Isaac’s stomach clenched as he realized Gavin’s lips were thin, his grip shaking. “Oh… Gavin, are you--?”

“Just cold,” Gavin huffed. His head fell forward, and Isaac pressed a kiss to his forehead. “But I don’t care. I want to be outside in the sun.”

Isaac blew out a slow breath through his nose and pulled Gavin close to his side, sliding an arm around his waist to support him. “Of course. Of course. Let’s… yeah. Outside.” He glanced up, tilting his face back for the warm rays that pushed away the fall chill.

The door to the post office swung open. Isaac’s head snapped forward. His stomach twisted. Ice choked his veins, and his hand closed around the gun in his waistband.

“Well, if it isn’t bitchboy out of bed at last,” came a voice he recognized. His muscles ached from how hard they were locked, holding him in place.

“Hey, Ellis,” came Gavin’s reply beside him. Isaac blinked, and he was staring at Finn and Ellis as they strolled out of the post office – Ellis looking uneasily at Gavin, and Finn with a concerned look at Isaac.

Isaac numbly released the gun. It remained tucked in his waistband. He hadn’t frozen that badly in years, not since—

Turn the corner. There was a guard there, shocked. Didn’t know Isaac was coming. Reached for his gun. Isaac raised his. Finger tightened on the trigger.

He can’t.

He can’t.

Isaac blinked away sudden tears as Finn and Ellis approached them. “Hey,” he croaked. “Hey, guys,” he tried again, and his voice cooperated this time.

“Hey yourself,” Ellis said with a groan. “Guess who’s got back pain today?” They looked around. “Oh? Just me? Thank god, whenever I ask that around Vera or Gray they never let me hear the end of it.”

“How are you two?” Finn asked, but they were looking only at Isaac. “Were you, um… expecting someone else? Edrissa doesn’t come into town, not without—”

“We weren’t… expecting Edrissa,” Isaac said weakly. The fresh cuts on his arms itched. The unbroken skin between them itched more.

Finn’s eyes narrowed. “Then… why…?”

“How’re you feeling, your highness?” Ellis said with another less-than-gentle nudge to Gavin. “You’re up, which is… more than I was expecting, actually.” They let out a laugh with a slightly manic edge that finally broke through the fog in Isaac’s mind.

He blinked. “Jesus, Ellis. You haven’t called him ‘your highness,’ in…”

“Yeah, maybe not in the greatest of taste…” Finn said gently.

Ellis let out a shrill laugh. “Yeah, no, totally, I’m just… trying to make him feel like old times, like… nothing’s changed, we’re still just… you know, you’re our bitchboy, we’re all one big happy family, like… um… b-before.” They lapsed into silence just as quickly as they had spoken and stared at the ground between their feet.

Isaac’s throat ached as he swallowed hard, looking between Gavin and Ellis. Finn was staring at their partner with their mouth slightly open. Gavin shivered against Isaac’s side, just as he had been doing almost every moment for the days since Isaac had pulled him from the basement.

Gavin stepped forward and put a thin hand on Ellis’s shoulder. “You have no idea how many times I wished I could have another chance to be the family’s bitchboy again,” he said, with a deeply solemn tone.

Ellis’s head snapped up with speed that rivaled a gunshot. Their eyes were wide, lips parted, and they stared at Gavin, unmoving.

“Oh,” they gasped. “Oh, you’re making a joke. Oh, thank fuck. I thought that fucker really did fuck with your head.”

Gavin managed a painful-sounding laugh. “Not like that,” he said, voice softening.

Isaac blinked, seeing the basement, the barrel of Schiester’s gun pointed at his heart.

“I w-want to be with him,” he croaked, his eyes fixed on Schiester. “I w-want…” He swallowed thickly. The words burned his tongue, but he pushed them out. “I want to… Please, l-let me be his… his plaything… again. Please… h-hurt me… for him.”

Isaac swallowed again. Today is a rough day. I’m aware of myself enough to know that today is a rough day. And that’s… something, at least. His hand shook in Gavin’s, and he loosened his grip. He forced himself to take a deep breath and let it out.

“So you’re doing, um… better, then,” Ellis said weakly, their frenetic jokes gone. They chewed their lip as they glanced at the retraced scars on Gavin’s face. “You look… better.”

“Yeah, Ellis,” Gavin said. He offered them a soft smile. “Thanks for asking. I’m… I’m doing okay.”

“Good.” Ellis nodded slowly. “That’s good.”

Finn spoke, their eyes searching Isaac’s face. “And you, Isaac? You doing alright?”

Isaac’s throat tightened. He pulled Gavin closer to him, happier to keep everyone focused on Gavin. “Um, yeah,” he said. He winced internally as his voice broke. “Yeah. I’m okay. Just… relieved to have Gavin back.” He stared at the ground, ignoring how he could now feel all of their gazes on his face like a physical touch.

Gavin’s gaze was heaviest. He knew about the… the scars. Vera didn’t even know about them yet, although Isaac knew they would probably all find out eventually. A finger of shame crept up his spine. Goosebumps crawled across his skin and pricked the cuts on his arms.

The door to the post office slammed open, and Isaac flinched like he’d been slapped. Laughter poured out of the open door. Two people who Isaac didn’t recognize came out, waving back to someone inside, smiles wide and boisterous. Finn turned to follow Isaac’s gaze.

“Relax, Isaac,” Ellis said, a hint of sarcasm returning to their voice. “Your boy’s back.”

Isaac swallowed hard as his gaze shifted to the ground again. “Yeah, I know,” he murmured. He wanted to leave, to hide. Not to seek cover, as he would from spraying bullets – but as he had once wanted to hide from Rosa, when her fury at him burned hottest, and he knew he could not buy a reprieve with a cleaner shot, a harder hit, a tidier room.

He never hid, though. After he ran from his mother, he never ran from his problems again. Until he ran from the guard who killed Jordan.

“Fuck,” he breathed, and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Who’s here, Isaac?” Finn whispered. Gravel scraped under their shoe, and Isaac forced himself to open his eyes and look at them. Their face was pale, their eyes wide, and their hand was wrapped around Ellis’s wrist. “Is it not safe here?”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Ellis spat through their teeth. “Are you—”

“No,” Isaac said, holding out a hand to them both. His head spun. Gavin is safe, but is anyone safe at all with Rosa here…? He pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head to clear it. “No. Fuck, I’m sorry, I’m just… having a rough day. Can we… can we maybe… keep talking and just… walk towards the house?”

“Do we need to call the others?” Finn murmured.

“Fuck, no,” Isaac ground out. His throat clogged with frustration. “No, just… it’s just hard for me to think right now. The others are fine. Just. Gavin, come on and—” He didn’t wait for an answer before he turned and half-dragged Gavin in the opposite direction they had just come. Ellis and Finn jogged to keep up.

“Okay, we’re fine and just going for a nice run with a pregnant person. Cool,” Ellis groused.

“Sorry,” Isaac huffed. He slowed his stride. “Sorry.” He forced himself to take a deep breath. As much as it made the hair on the back of his neck prickle to have his back to the post office, he found his chest didn’t feel nearly so tight now that he was walking away from it. With another deep inhale and exhale, his arm around Gavin’s waist relaxed a little as well. “Sorry,” he whispered, just for Gavin, and pressed a kiss into Gavin’s hair.

Gavin said nothing, just looked at Isaac with unfathomable worry in his eyes. Isaac’s heart twisted.

They were already out of downtown Laporte and down the lane surrounded by wooded forest once more. They left the road and wove between the trees. Isaac slowed his steps even further. The sun dappled the bed of dead pine needles on the ground, and a cool breeze ruffled the strands of Isaac’s hair that had pulled free of the elastic. He cleared his throat and slipped his arm from around Gavin’s waist so he could squeeze his hand.

“So, um, Rosa lives here,” he said softly.

Finn stopped dead in their tracks. Ellis kept walking straight into a branch at face-level and let out a squawk.

“…the Rosa?” Finn finally managed.

“Yup,” Isaac said.

For a long moment, the only sound was the wind blowing through the canopy of the trees above. Then, Ellis said to Gavin, “Did you know about this?”

“Yes,” Gavin murmured.

“And she’s still alive?” Ellis snapped.

Gavin’s jaw flexed. “He wouldn’t—”

“What fuckin’ good are you if she’s still—”

“Hey,” Isaac snarled, stepping between them both and drawing himself up to his full height until he towered over Ellis.

Ellis rolled their eyes and crossed their arms over their chest. “I was mostly joking, Isaac, calm down.” They jutted their chin out at Gavin. “I’m just surprised he didn’t take a run at her, that’s all. Any one of us would have—”

“He did,” Isaac said through his teeth. “He wasn’t exactly in the best condition to challenge her for my soul.”

“Not your soul,” Finn said with a shrug. “But, like… your childhood.”

“I wasn’t a child,” Isaac said helplessly.

“For fuck’s sake, Isaac,” Gavin said with a groan. He threw a look at Finn and Ellis. “This is not the first time we’ve had this conversation.”

“Wait, you can’t just…” Isaac spread his hands.

“But that’s why you’re so jumpy today, huh?” Finn said softly. Isaac fell silent and nodded. He dug a toe into the layer of pine needles, all the way down to the topsoil. The top of his boot came away wet and stained.

Everyone was silent for a long time. After a while, Ellis began walking again, and Isaac was grateful to no longer have everyone’s eyes on him. Gavin’s fingers were cold where they entwined with his, but Gavin was smiling; nothing could have torn Isaac away from his side, walking with his family through a peaceful forest with nothing to fear but his own past.

“So… what are we gonna do about this?” Ellis said.

Isaac pushed out a slow breath. “There’s nothing to be done,” he mumbled. “It’s not like she’s a syndicate leader or something. She fights against the syndicates, or at least she did at some point. We can’t just kill her.”

Ellis chuckled. “I asked what we were going to do, not whether we were going to kill her. But I’m glad to see your brain moving in the right direction. No, I mean… so, are we moving again?”

“No,” Isaac said quickly. “No way. This is the safest place for Gavin, and Zachariah. It’s the first chance we’ve had at some real community. Besides.” He squeezed Gavin’s hand. “We just got here.”

“You used to live on the road, and I’m okay with people being less than enthused about me if you don’t have to live like this,” Gavin replied.

“Don’t listen to him, I’m not moving again while I’m pregnant,” Ellis called from ahead.

Finn rolled their eyes. “Real nice, Ellis.”

“Fine, but you’re moving all the boxes,” Ellis griped.

“What, all two of them?” Finn shot back.

“Here’s what I want to know,” Ellis said, finally turning around. “Does Vera know?”

Finn looked at Isaac. He froze under the attention. Gavin’s thumb moved back and forth against his hand, and he pulled Gavin close against his side again.

“No,” Isaac said roughly.

Ellis’s head fell back in a raucous laugh. “Hoo boy, I can’t wait to see her reaction. That bitch’ll be dead within an hour, just you wait.”

“I need to talk to her about a few things tonight, maybe we’ll get to it,” Isaac murmured. Gavin pressed a kiss to his shoulder. His stomach bucked at the simple touch.

If she’s still willing to talk to me after she finds out I decided to punish myself for losing Gavin after all, I’ll tell her about Rosa.

“Well, fill me in on how it goes,” Ellis said, their laughter not yet died down. “I need a play-by-play of how exactly she intends on handling this situation. And then obviously ask her if she needs help dumping the body.”

Isaac forced a smile. “Yeah. Obviously. Thanks for, um… for listening.”

“Of course,” Finn said. They pulled Isaac into a hug. He unwound his arm from around Gavin’s waist and crushed Finn in his embrace before pulling away, feeling only a little shaky.

“Any time,” Ellis said with a rare tone of solemnity. “You’re family, Isaac. Someone fucks with one of us… especially the baby version of one of us…” They shrugged tightly. “I don’t know, dude. It’s fucked up, what she did. I mean, I’m an asshole, but I still can’t imagine doing what she did to a fucking kid. Maybe it’s because I’m a parent. I don’t know. But… still.” Ellis lightly punched Isaac on the arm. He offered them a hesitant smile. “We’re here for you. Obviously.”

“Thanks, Ellis,” he whispered.

“Yeah, shut up,” they whimpered, their voice suddenly tight. They turned in an abrupt about-face and headed back to the lane towards their house. “Fucking pregnancy hormones,” they hissed, and dashed tears from their eyes.

Gavin smiled and returned to Isaac’s side once more. It felt… perfect, easy, safe. As Isaac’s slung his arm around Gavin’s waist once more, and Gavin turned his head to place a kiss on Isaac’s shoulder, it felt like the one thing that made sense in the uneasy noise of Isaac’s mind. He couldn’t suppress a smile as he followed Ellis and Finn down the sun-streaked lane as the wind blew the autumn leaves about their feet.

Continued here

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[not-poignant]

Constellations 02 on AO3! (FFS universe, Efnisien + Gwyn)

Title: Constellations (Falling Falling Stars sequel re: Gwyn + Efnisien)

Rating: Mature

Tags: Contemporary, trauma recovery, men in therapy, references to BDSM relationships, past trauma recovery, complex family relationships, hurt/comfort, angst, historical child abuse, historical familial abuse, reconciliation, Gwyn’s a stalker for five seconds

Summary: (Will make little sense if you haven’t read Falling Falling Stars) It’s been around ten years since the events of Falling Falling Stars, and Efnisien and Gwyn are living their respective lives, and haven’t really been in touch since. Over time, Gwyn becomes more curious about his cousin, especially after learning something he hopes isn’t true, and after seeing him by chance in a park, kicks off a series of events that helps create new opportunities for reconciliation, and discovering what it really means to be family. 

–

Constellations - 02 - Unexpected Acknowledgement (Gwyn + Efnisien reconcilation) on AO3

In which Gwyn is caught out in his behaviour, and given some options - some good, some threatening - by Arden Mercury, who will no longer tolerate the 'spying at the park.' Gwyn makes his decision, after talking it out with Augus.

–

EARLY ACCESS: Constellations - 05 - Debrief at the Lake on Patreon and Ream:

Constellations 05 on Patreon

Constellations 05 on Ream

In this chapter, Mika and Efnisien debrief about the meeting with Gwyn, as well as future meetings. Efnisien reveals some of his insecurities, and also reveals that he's far more stable in therapy now than he used to be.

– Thanks to all the Patreon and Ream supporters for making this (and my other writing) possible!

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Good Dreams

The Motherfucking Gallaghers Masterlist

CW: Referenced past child abuse / past withholding food as an abuse tactic, child of whumper

Kieran and Jax belong to @comfy-whumpee and, as always, are used with their permission and oversight. The format of this piece is heavily inspired by Morg's Echoes, which you should go read right now. I'll wait.

-

Izzy Gallagher wakes without a gasp, or a cry. She doesn't sit straight up in bed, or flail around. Lying perfectly still on her side, her eyes simply pop open all at once.

Heart in her throat, she holds her breath and listens. 

She can still feel the cobwebs she had been pushing through, desperate to escape the canvas-covered furniture in the monster room in her mother's house. It's been ten years since her father took she and Jamie to the train station and saved them, seven years since the trial sent Savannah Marcoset to prison, life without possibility of parole, a prayer Izzy turns to when she is most frightened… but she still remembers the feel of dusty cloth beneath her fingers and the grime that would settle on her cheeks, cut through by her tears. 

Then she hears it. 

There's water running in the kitchen, a subtle sound, but Izzy follows it out of bed, padding on awkward long legs in her short pyjama bottoms and sweatshirt into the hallway, arms crossed in front of her as if trying to disappear into the dubious safety of her own body and the oversized cotton she wears.

Her mother's fingertips brush the back of her neck. Even after waking, Savvie is still reaching for her, wailing why ever did you cut off all your beautiful hair?

Izzy steps out of the dark hall and into the soft yellowed light of the kitchen, searching for her father to chase the memory of her mother away. 

Kieran, glass of water in hand, turns to look at her with crinkly wrinkles starting at the corners of his eyes and a soft smile. He wears a jumper in dark forest green over black pyjama bottoms, has some gray in his hair, and everything in him is love. "Hey, Izzy. Did I wake you?"

"No." Her voice is still husky and deep with sleep. "I woke up and then heard you."

Izzy swallows and stops in the doorway, leaning towards him but the memory of her nightmare keeps her from holding out her arms. She's fourteen, she's too old for this, but...

She had a nightmare, she is still trembling and frightened, and she wants one of her fathers to hold her. 

A much smaller Izzy Gallagher wakes with the tiniest whimper, throwing herself from her blankets and fleeing the dream on her hands and knees. She crawls across the living room. past where her father and brother lay on the makeshift bed on the floor.

Jamie, already nearly as big as his sister even though he's three years younger, curls against Jax's side, making little snuffly noises with his nose, still stuffy from a cold he's getting over. 

Izzy can be very, very quiet, when she needs to be. 

She can be as silent as a mouse, moving quick as a blink. Her daddy's sleeping face stays relaxed, and his body isn't all blocky like wood, how he is sometimes when he hears something and has to remember Mommy isn't here. 

Her dream keeps trying to grab her back, to make her think about the big long table, her itchy lace dress and too-tight shoes, plates and plates of food all around that she isn't allowed to eat. Her dream tries to make her remember her mother's hands closed tight around her arms, keeping her in Savvie's lap, suffocating her with hair while her tummy rumbles but the food is grown-up food, too good for children, and Savvie won't let her eat. 

Izzy won't think about that. 

She sees the sofa across the room and remembers there's a space between it and the wall behind it, the perfect amount of space for a little Izzy to curl up in. 

It had been a great hiding spot earlier during hide-and-seek. Jamie hadn’t found her at all and she’d had to come out when he got scared and thought she’d run off and left him alone looking for her.

Izzy would never do that, but he doesn’t know that yet. He’s too little, and it’s her job to teach him. So she had come back out and said, here I am, you were so close! You were so close to finding me! and he had laughed, relieved, his tears drying as fast as they appeared.

Izzy's daddy and her daddy's-... friend… Kieran, who her father promises is not like her mother and never will be, had looked at each other and smiled, a little. Or maybe only Kieran had. 

Izzy had been watching him. 

Kieran nods, slowly, taking her in as she watches him right back. Her sleep-rumpled short hair sticking up in spiky angles, her eyes all brown like her father's, her face all angles and lines. The girls at school are soft and pretty in ways that make Izzy's stomach twist in knots when she tries to talk to them, fingers buzzing with every brush of fingers, but her own face has never seemed soft to her. 

Izzy thinks of herself as always looking like a frightened deer or something. She feels like one now. 

"Tea?" He offers, in his gentle voice. Izzy shakes her head and hugs herself more, her lower lip trembling a little before she bites down on it to stop it, bites down with her top teeth until it hurts. 

His expression shifts, then. He understands what she isn't saying, what she can't make herself say, and he holds his arms out to her.

Izzy runs into them, bare feet slapping on kitchen tile, and he catches her. 

"Do you want to tell me about it?" He asks in a murmur against her hair. 

Izzy can be very small, when she needs to be. She curls into the tiniest ball she can manage in the space between the couch and the wall. She knows hiding, she learned how to be invisible when her mother didn’t want to see her, or when she was angry at Jax and Izzy had to disappear until her mother's rage passed like the Big Bad Wolf. Then she could come out and see Jax, her daddy blown apart like a house made of sticks.

Izzy can read the little pigs book. The other kids read faster than she does, and they read better, but she’s trying. Sometimes they laugh at her but not because of reading. Because she is Izzy Fraidy-Cat, who jumps at every loud sound or has to not cry on purpose when the teacher gets mad. 

But not the reading. No one minds she is slow at reading, and she is always trying to be better. 

She hears the door down the hall open, and freezes in place, brown eyes wide as saucers in the darkness. 

It must be Kieran, her daddy’s-... boyfriend. Not friend, not really, he is something different than that. Kieran is like kissing and holding hands more than friends, he and Jax like-like each other, but he is not another mommy.

There won't be another mommy, not ever ever again. Jax promised her with pinkie swears and crossed his heart and she is sure he means it. He wouldn’t have promised so hard if he didn’t mean it. Izzy's daddy keeps every promise, now that he is allowed to. 

Kieran isn't a new mommy, but he is a boyfriend, which is scary. But… if Kieran is what boyfriends are, then maybe those aren’t so bad.

He moves to the bathroom, and she listens intently. Her knees are almost at her chin and her hands pressed against the sides of her own neck. She doesn’t breathe except in thin quick inhales, lighter than the air she pulls into herself, exhaled all at once.

There’s a pause. Sound of water moving through pipes, running out of the sink. The bathroom door opens again, and she waits for him to go back to bed.

But he doesn’t.

Kieran walks with her back to her room, reassuring warmth beside and behind her. When Izzy climbs back into bed, he pulls the covers down and then up again to cover her. She watches his face, cataloging every bit of warmth he shows that pushes back the nightmare's final touches. 

Then he climbs into bed beside her, seated on top of the covers, ankles crossed at the end. He turns to look at her, leaning against the headboard. She shifts herself up and leans against him, tipping her head until it rests on his shoulder. 

His smile is still in his voice. "Talk to me, love."

Kieran's feet - she can see them moving - carry him to the kitchen. Her own legs are starting to hurt and she closes her eyes shut tight and tries to breathe even less, even though it makes her dizzy. Like hiding from her mother, when she had to be so, so quiet. She and her daddy played the quiet game over and over and Izzy was always the best player, a good helper, keeping hidden until he said it was safe for her and Jamie to be seen again. 

There’s a little light over the sink he turns on, dim as the nightlight Izzy has to have so she can go to sleep. Her mother’s shadow is in the dark, and the nightlights chase her away. 

She and Daddy have talked about how monsters lose their power if you turn on the light to show everyone what they really are. 

Her legs are starting to hurt, all bent like this for so long. Her toes wiggle where they stick out the bottom of her pyjama pants, trying to find a way to be comfortable without being seen.

Water runs again.

She hears her daddy moving in the little floor-bed they made of pillows and blankets. “Kieran.” His slightly rough voice isn’t a question, but it is a question, too. 

“Just a glass of water,” Kieran replies, a voice soft like the rose petals that Izzy runs her fingers over when they bloom outside her mother’s house, and there are roses here, too. No one here thinks it’s funny when she pricks her fingers on the thorns. “That’s all.”

“Okay. Wait." A pause. "Izzy."

“Izzy?” Kieran sounds puzzled, moving closer. She sees his shadow moving along the floor, where he leans over, looking at the puddle of blankets where she had been before her mother found her in dreams and made her say please and thank you but she never says it right, she never has, and she isn't allowed to eat until her mother says she's earned it.

She chokes on her mother’s hair in dreams, it goes down her throat and steals all the air for Mommy and none for anyone else. 

Kieran hums. “Oh. I just came from the bathroom…"

“Fuck,” Her daddy whispers. He's already moving, hands searching almost blindly until he finds Jamie, who makes a little whimpering sound. Her daddy's hands move over his soft straight hair, his warm face, find his back. But his eyes are still on the empty place where Izzy had been. His face doesn't show it, not right away, but Izzy knows how it sounds when he is afraid. “Shit. Where is she, where-"

“I’m here!” Izzy pushes frantically forwards, guilt driving her to wriggle like a worm to get out faster. Her pajamas catch on something at the edge of the sofa-back and she feels it tear but shoves out anyway. “I’m right here! I’m here, Daddy!”

Kieran startles, almost spilling his water, looking at her with slightly wide eyes. Then he relaxes, and smiles. "Oh, thank God. Right here in the room with us."

Izzy doesn’t answer him. He is not her daddy and it is her daddy she has frightened. It's Jax who needs her to help him. 

She crawls right back to him, sees his eyes catch hers in the dim middle-of-the-night mix of moonlight and the soft kitchen light whose shine just barely touches them all here. She sees his shoulders relax, a little, one of his hands start to uncurl fingers from palm. “Hey, kiddo,” He says, a soft exhale sound of relief. 

“I’m so sorry, Daddy.” Tears strike but she tries not to cry them outside of her, embarrassed that Kieran might see. 

Izzy is very, very good at not crying, when she has to be, so that the grown-ups won’t become angry and scream or lock her up or laugh at her. Even though Jax promises they won’t do that here. “I was having a dream, Daddy. I, I-" She swallows back all the things she wants to say. That there was so much food but she couldn't have any, that her mother held her so hard it hurt her, that she was in trouble and scared of being put in the room for time out all night again. Kieran isn't their family. She can't tell him this, can't say it in front of him. Instead, she says, "I… woke up and I wanted to hide. I am so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

Jax’s eyes flicker up to Kieran and then back to her. He knows there are things she doesn't say in front of other grownups, grownups who aren't her doctors or her grandpa or daddy. 

“Makes sense,” Is all Jax says out loud, and opens an arm for her when she makes it to him, sliding it around her shoulders and holding on tight. 

“Good thing tomorrow’s a Saturday,” Kieran offers, kind as can be, his voice gentle and soft. He has a voice like a hug, and she doesn’t like to admit it but she likes him very much. As long as he stays this way and doesn't turn mean later. Maybe he won't. Izzy has started to hope that he is always kind and they can stay friends and boyfriends and whatever forever. 

Not that she'll say it out loud. 

Izzy smiles - she isn’t very good at smiling, but sometimes like now she can’t help it. He sees her smile, and smiles right back at her until she hides her face against Jax’s side and listens to him walk back down the hall to his room, closing the door when he and his glass of water go inside. 

"I dreamed about her," Izzy murmurs, barely speaking. Kie hums, a sign that he's listening, but he doesn't ask for details, just waits. After a pause, she keeps talking. Her throat feels tight. "I dreamed I was back in the house, running and running from her, but every door I opened was the monster room… my, uh, my time-out room-"

"Mhmm." Has she told him about it before? Right now, in the fuzzy middle of the night, she can't remember. If she hasn't, he doesn't ask. 

It helps.

"I couldn't find my way out. It was all cobwebs and dust, and the cobwebs kept turning into her hair, sticking to me, and I couldn't-..." Her voice hitches, and he has an arm around her shoulder and holds her close. He smells like his cologne, and he and Jax smell like home in a deep-down way that she loves. "I couldn't get outside. And I knew… if I could just leave, she couldn't follow me out, but I couldn't escape and she kept getting closer and louder and... she was, she kept grabbing at me..." She swallows. "Then I woke up, just as she caught me."

"That does sound pretty frightening." He doesn't sound like he thinks it was a silly dream, or she is silly for being a fourteen year old still scared of the dark, who still has a little light plugged into the wall. 

"I was so scared when I woke up, but then… I heard you." 

"I'm glad I woke up thirsty, then," He teases, gentle and loving. Kieran rests his cheek on her hair. "A well-timed middle-of-the-night water break."

“I’m sorry,” Izzy whispers again. She is very good at apologizing right away. “That I scared you. I am, Daddy. I am so sorry…" 

“Nah,” Jax replies. "I get it." When he shifts to lay back down, so does she, watching his wide-awake eyes, just like hers, as he looks towards the ceiling. Jamie has never even blinked his eyes open. “Might do the same, if I could, but I can’t fit behind the couch."

He looks at her, and they have the same eyes, and his have a gleam of moonlight and humor and his love for them both. "I’d get stuck. You'd have to put butter on my head to get me out."

She giggles behind her hands at the idea of him stuck back there with his feet out and his hair all covered in butter from the dish. His smile is tired, but she loves it better than any other smile in the world. 

She isn’t very good at going back to sleep after bad dreams, but tonight she lays in her daddy's arms and her bad dream fades away. The rest of her dreams are good ones. 

"Thanks for sitting with me." Izzy's voice is blurred now, lips barely moving. "Sorry for burying you in my mom shit at three in the morning. I know you have work tomorrow."

"That's all right. Maybe I can sneak a nap, hide under my desk and put a sign up that I'm out for lunch."

Izzy smiles at the unimaginable idea of Kieran skiving off without even leaving his office, and snuggles in close. "Hey, Kie?"

She's barely still awake, and it's the only reason she has the courage to say exactly what she is thinking out loud, here, in the dimly-lit dark. 

"Hm?"

"You're a really good dad. Love you." 

"Love you, too," He murmurs back to her, and if his voice sounds a little tight and he blinks his eyes rapidly, she is too nearly back asleep to either hear or see it. 

She feels him press a kiss to the top of her head as he eases her back to lying down under the covers. She misses Jax in the doorway and the question in his eyes. She doesn't see the look they share, the way Kieran smiles and puts a finger to his lips before the two men head back to their own bedroom together. 

The rest of Izzy's dreams that night are good ones. 

@whumptober day 20: Found Family

[zyrafowe-sny]

Jagodzianka's Whumptober 2023 Completionist Post

I wrote thirty-one 100 word drabbles based on Whumptober prompts, spread across two fandoms and twelve fics.

The Owl House

Rescue: a connected sequence of six Hunter and Camila-centered drabbles (prompts 17, 26, 4, 14, 25, 31)

Reunion: one drabble from Evelyn's POV after Philip kills Caleb (prompt 28)

no one there except the moon: The Collector doesn't like the Titan's new game (prompt 3)

Freedom: eight Vee-centric drabbles (prompts 21, alt - Lab Rat, alt - Reluctant Whumper, 24, 23, 30, 11, 9)

Simile Marks: Raine (and Hunter) have trouble sleeping after Belos is defeated (prompts 12, 27)

Nimona

Home: On different days, Ballister and Nimona wake up on the same couch and have their worlds turned upside down (prompts 29 and 20)

Hindsight: Ambrosius comes to a realization after he sees the full recording (prompt 6)

Broken: a connected sequence of four drabbles following Ambrosius as the Wall falls and during the immediate aftermath (prompts 5, 1, 8, 16)

Infection: three drabbles following Ballister after the arm-chopping incident (prompts 15, 13, 2)

one final step: Nimona has suicidal thoughts (prompt 19)

Chickadee: Todd leads his squad to Ballister's evil lair (prompt 18)

Naive: Ballister looks back on his first attempt to prove his innocence (prompt 10)

[snowdice]

Face the Music (Sometimes Labels Shift Series)

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Logan/Patton, (background) Patton & Virgil, Logan & Virgil

Characters: 

Main: Patton, Logan

Mentioned: Virgil

Summary: Patton and Logan have a small chat about healing between Wind Symphony and Wind Symphony: The Sequel.

This is a dealing with events set after my story Sometimes Labels Fail.

Notes: Superhero AU (not that it matters), past emotional abuse, references to a nontypical trigger, though said trigger has been dealt with in therapy and is mostly under control though not gone

“You don’t have to go,” Logan said when Patton was halfway through pulling off his shirt. Patton finished pulling off the shirt to squint at him. He wasn’t wearing his glasses, so Logan’s form was blurry, but he was sitting on their bed looking at him.

“I know I don’t have to go,” said Patton. He turned to grab the sleeping shirt he’d set out and pulled it over his head.

“Virgil wouldn’t care,” Logan said. “I would be the more likely candidate to take him shopping for such a thing considering the research I’ve done into the topic anyway. I doubt he has any expectations that you will come.”

Patton frowned as he slipped his glasses back onto his face, turning Logan from a blurry mess of blue into a man wearing a blue t-shirt. “Maybe he wouldn’t,” Patton said, “but you don’t know that.”

“Patton,” Logan said, his brow creased in the way that it did only when he was attempting to do a very difficult math equation or was trying to process emotions on the fly. “You once almost had a panic attack because a musician attempted to hand you a violin.”

“That was years ago,” Patton bristled, “and I’d been having a bad day. The violin was not the problem.”

“Perhaps not,” Logan agreed, “but it was a problem.”

“A music shop is not a house of horrors for me,” Patton said. It was the truth even if it felt just a bit like a lie. What he remembered from the music shop of his childhood, the one he’d have to go to for new music books every time he completed his old ones, was an old man who would freeze Patton in place with his gaze (even when he wasn’t actually doing so with his powers), ancient instruments on the walls that Patton’s young mind had imagined being used in blood rituals, and an overwhelming sense of foreboding. He thought normal music shops probably were not like that.

Logan was still frowning, so Patton crossed to the bed and reached for his face. He kissed him on the nose.

“I want to be there,” he told Logan. “Playing the clarinet is something that Virgil loves, and I want to support him in every way I can. I will not be like my mother and that both means not making him play an instrument if he doesn’t want to and encouraging him to do so if he does want to.”

It was easier said than done. If Patton had ever gotten joy from playing a violin, he did not remember it. Thoughts of playing a musical instrument filled him with an uncomfortable squirming sensation even after all of these years. It was a knee-jerk reaction to not want Virgil to experience the same thing, but he was not his knee-jerk reactions. He’d been very careful to keep his instinctual thoughts to himself (and occasionally to Logan when it felt unhealthy to keep them bottled up).

Virgil liked playing music. It made him happy. Sometimes Patton had to remind himself of that in order to react appropriately, but that was okay. It was a little more effort in an area most people wouldn’t even have to think about, but it was worth it.

“He does want to,” Patton continued, “so even if that desire isn’t something I will ever be able to relate to, I still need to show up.”

The face between Patton’s hands still seemed unsure. “This is just a small thing,” Logan said. “We already know you’ll be going to all of his performances. You can show up for him without going on this specific outing.”

“Life is made up of small things,” Patton said, shaking his head, “and it’s also short. I am a 56-year-old man. I refuse to live my life in fear of a string instrument. Anymore.”

“Still,” Logan said, reaching up to cup Patton’s hand still on his cheek.

Patton just rolled his eyes fondly. “I appreciate the concern,” he said, “but I’m going.”

Logan opened his mouth to speak.

“No more talking,” Patton said, using his hands to gently push Logan back onto the bed. He leaned most of his weight on him, though his toes still touched the floor. “Just cuddles.”

Logan hesitated, but then gave in. “Very well,” he agreed and then paused a moment. “Could we perhaps cuddle in a more reasonable position?”

“No,” said Patton, tucking his head into Logan’s chest with a smile. Logan sighed under him and reached up to pat his hair.

Patton knew he’d be able to face any music store as long as Logan was with him.

“Face the music,” Patton whispered with a giggle. Logan groaned.

Want to read more? Click below!

Labeled Master Post.

My Masterpost.

[phanficlovep5]

Rose and Rot

Title of Fic: Rose and Rot

Author Name: sixteenjuniper

Link to fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48254281/chapters/121693708

Ao3 Rating: M

Major content warning(s): No Archive Warnings Apply

Your rating: 14/10

Two-Sentence Summary: Goro Akechi lives, and explores a forest where he atones by learning the stories of those he killed/aided in killing accidentally, and he helps them pass on to the realm of the dead. Ren is on the search for him: Extreme slowburn. It hurts.

Review: ITS SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO GOOD. THERES SO MUCH SYMBOLISM WITH HIM AND CROWS AND READING BOTH REN & GORO'S SIDES HURT BECAUSE REN'S WRONG AND GORO'S STILL HURTING

Submitted By: Anonymous

Approved By: Ace

Have a fanfic you'd like featured on the blog? Send us an ask to request a fanfic , or submit a review of your own!

[wangxianficrecs]

💙 shelter by hauntedotamatone

💙 shelter

by hauntedotamatone

T, 5k, Wangxian

Summary: “They are gone,” a low voice sounds from above him, joined by the warm weight of a hand on his back. “It’s safe now.” A-Ying carefully removes his hands from the soft fabric bunched up in his grip and proceeds to wipe away the tears and snot from his face. It’s only now that he realizes he’s smeared bright red blood all over the stranger’s nice, white robes. The thing about people in nice robes is that they don’t take kindly to dirty hands grasping at them, let alone hands dirty with blood. “S-sorry,” he says around the thick lump that still sits in his throat. “A-Ying is sorry.” The hand at his back grows stiff. “There is no need for ‘sorry’,” the stranger tells him. “Robes can be cleaned.” Kay's comments: Listed as one of those fanfics that never fail to make me bawl my eyes out. Here we have little A-Ying, during his time of the streets, escaping from dogs and running to someone for help and that someone turns out to be grown-up Wangxian, who then take care of him, treating his wounds, feeding him some proper food and comforting him and it's all very heart-breaking. Healing your inner child by taking care of your child-self, kind of. The fic takes place post-canon though and Wangxian were thrown into one of Wei Wuxian's memories. Fics that take a real look at those years that Wei Wuxian lived on the street always get me and this one is my absolute favourite. No sugar-coating and yet still so true to Wei Wuxian as a character. Excerpt: “Oh,” he says, climbing down from his perch to kneel right in front of A-Ying in the street. “Oh, little one.” He doesn’t know either of these people, but it’s been so long since anyone has spoken to him like this, since anyone has treated him like a child and not a pest. The man in front of him wears a red ribbon in his hair, just like his mother used to. Perhaps he should know better after all the time he’s spent alone at the mercy of others, but all of his carefully honed wariness and caution shatters in an instant. He crumples up, pitching forward with the single sob he hasn’t managed to hold back. A-Ying all but falls into the man’s arms, but he doesn’t truly expect to be caught until he finds himself held tight. No one has held him in a very long time. He knows that he must have been held at least once, but he can’t remember what it felt like in the slightest. “I’m scared of them too,” the man says. “But, this pretty gege in white is very good at keeping them away, they won’t come around again.”

pov wei wuxian, canon compliant, post-canon, established relationship, homelessness, food insecurity, childhood trauma, character study, past child abuse, emotional hurt/comfort, memory related, loss of parents, wei wuxian has a fear of dogs, child wei wuxian, sad, angst, blood and injury, night hunts, ghosts, protective lan wangji, caring lan wangji, angst with a happy ending, @hauntotamatone

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[topgunruinedme]

Screaming in Silence

Summary: If anyone asked Jake how four words had impacted his life, he wouldn't have been able to tell them.

FebWhump Prompt - Day 12: "Can you hear me?".

//

No one questioned Jake about his tattoo, he knew it was weird. It was unusual, worrying for people who didn't understand it. He had been asked to see a psychologist and he had seen the odd looks people give him.

But no one knew the significance behind those four words. The four words that had changed his life forever. The four words that had been the first thing that wasn’t shouted in abuse at him.

From the cop who gently pulled him out from under his bed and wrapped him in his own jacket.

‘Seresin’

The man who saved his life, who took him away from his abusive foster home, who adopted him and gave him a life he had once thought could only happen in a fairy tale. 

It all started with four words. “Can you hear me?”.

It started when he was 7. Hiding under his bed terrified as the police raided the house, his foster parents were screaming and flailing making a fuss. 

Jake held his breath as a pair of black boots stopped In front of his bed. He pressed himself back further against the wall. The shine of the flashlight the man was holding was pointed at the floor.

He watched in bated breaths as the man knelt down carefully and sucked his head under the bed.

Jake stared at him terrified, his chest caving under the stress of breathing and his heart pounded as every instinct in his body told him to run. To fight, to escape this hell he was trapped in. 

“Can you hear me?” The man asked gently with a small smile, he seemed generous perhaps if Jake was compliment he would receive less of a beating.

With a jolty head movement he nodded in his cramped space under the bed.

The man looked around before moving back, providing him more space between them.

Ensuring he didn’t feel crowded, Jake realized in awe.

“Hey bud, can you come out for me?” He asked softly, Jake watched the man lower the flashlight to see him more clearly. It was pointed away from him but the light still made him wince.

The cop grimaced “Sorry buddy, I can’t do much about that. I have to be able to see you”.

He shifted so he was down on his stomach copying Jake's position, urging the boy out softly, both of them attempting to ignore the yelling and sound of things crashing in the other room. It was slightly muffled, as the man extended a hand out to him.

Jake flinched, yanking himself away from the man watching the man tentatively for any movement that could hint towards the man hitting him. He found none. 

The man patiently waited for Jake to examine him before Jake shook his head at him, his eyes filled with terror, no he couldn’t go with him. They would take him, it would be worse, so much worse.

“No?” The officer asked “That's alright we can stay here”. He seemed almost laid back, keeping his hand extended out as an olive branch as he rested his chin on top of his hand just watching. Waiting. “My name is David Seresin, I’m an Officer for LAPD. What’s your name?”

Jake shifted uncomfortably “Jacob” he said quietly biting down the the feeling of a car to heavy tongue and cottonmouth,

“Jacob” David tilted his head “That’s a nice name, so you like it?” 

Thinking through all the abuse and names his fosters had screamed at him, he shook his head nervously. 

David smiled calmly at him “Would you rather me call you something else?”

“Jay?” He requested hesitantly. He had always been ‘Jacob’, ‘that boy’, ‘Foster’. He had never had a nickname before.

“Alright Jay, why don’t we get you out from under there now yeah?” David smiled, wiggling his fingers enticingly.

Hesitantly Jay reached out clawing their hand together letting David lead him out from Under the bed watching the man’s slow calculated movements carefully as the man helped him stand. Shrugging off his jacket and wrapping it around him. It was heavy on his shoulders far too big, then again he was far too small for his age.

“Come on kid, let’s get you out of here” David wrapped an arm around him protectively as he led him out of the house that had housed his own personal hell.

He let David walk him out to a new leaf off his life. The better half, the half where David took him in and encouraged his love for flying. It was a slow process but he was there, every event, every graduation without fail, right up until he got shot in the line of duty. 

Jake stood in front of David’s body laying on a slab, his hand pulled back the sheet and brushed the stray lock of hair off his fathers check.

David always hated how wild his hair was, he was cold to the touch. He had gone out saving a friend, a colleague. Just as he would have wanted too, he had saved another person. 

It all started with 4 words, “Can you hear me?”.

[morgansunflower]

Valentine

Wally West X Batsis! Wife! Reader

Warnings:suggestive content, explicit language, angst

Words:1313

Arthur's notes! Wally was abused as a kid Iris and Barry adopted him when he was a teen.

The Batfamily try to comfort Y/N during the romantic holiday knowing she misses her husband. Even with the love and support.. She begins to remember when they thought he wasn't coming home.

"Jai! Irey! It's time to go!" Y/N announced to her twin children

The twins both speed to their mother as she intentionally held in a yelp by their sudden appearance. She had been married to Wally for 8 years and had been dating him prior for 4 years.. She still could never not be startled by a speedsters, well speed.

"your still wearing your pajamas?" she asked quirking her eyebrow.

Just a few seconds went by as they were gone and then returned fully dressed.

"ready now!" Jai proudly said

"I can see that" his mom chuckled

As the, West family minus one, arrive at the Manor. Each leave out of the parked car. Jai speeds to the entrance door to the Manor, opening it for his mom and sister

"maladies!" he playfully said

Y/N laughed softly being reminded of her husband in her son.

"thank you kind sir" she smiled rubbing his forehead sweetly

Her smile faded once inside missing Wally. It'd been 6 weeks since they last saw him. He had been absent for league missions as it was his turn to be Flash. Both Barry and Wally took turns every so often. Though unfortunately Wally was held up with responsibilities more than usual and had only enough time to call his wife every few days.

Soon thereafter being greeted by her family Y/N departs to the empty family. She sits alone on the couch. Her mood worsens as she rest her hand on her chin. Even in her bitterness she was grateful for her family was supporting her while her husband was away. It was the day after Valentines Day. Alfred insisted to cook dinner and have all the family together. Because of the romantic holiday.. They knew she would likely be feeling more lonelier than she already is. Which they weren't entirely wrong.

"you ok Kitten?" Selina asked her daughter

She lowers her hand as to not look as gloom as she feels. She softly smiled not answering her as she did not want to lie. Selina sits next to her.

She gently shakes her head angered she was becoming emotional "I know he's coming back"

"but it reminds you of when we thought he wasn't" she said

~

"man Y/N is so gonna kill me! Don't even get me started on you and the family"

"Wally?" Barry looked to his adopted son

"just tell them ok" Wally said has Barry reached out to his son, he was gone.

Y/N then sees only chrysalis's energy disappearing. Her eyes only saw Barry with Bart. She looks hoping to see her husband. Barry slowly approached her with dread. He feels his body is in shock. Her eyes begin shaking as, his hand came to her shoulder.

"Y/N, he wanted me to tell you--"

"NO!!" she begin to sob, in a instant her grief shakes her, causing her to kneel down to the ground

Dick hurried to her and leaned down to comfort his sister. She couldn't move as she could hardly breathe. She felt as though she was suffocating.

Bruce adjusted his tie sighing heavily. He was so worried for his daughter losing her other half and for his son losing his best friend. He then sees her in his reflection.

"I wanted to be here for you and for her" Selina said softly

Bruce hurried to her in complete adoration and embraced her. The former thief embraced the dark knight. He kisses her as he had too much to say to her in gratitude..

"she'll be OK, Bat" Selina promised

"what if she isn't, Cat? What if Dick isn't? How can I.. How can.." help them? Love them? Comfort them? Nothing seemed to be enough, he was scared to say the wrong thing.

"you be there as a shoulder for them to cry on. You be their comfort and you deny them to think for a moment their alone"

Y/N sits in the chair staring at the gravestone dedicated to her husband. Wally's adopted parents Barry and Iris were nearby her as they both were in tears.

She had cried for so long that now she felt nothing but complete brokenness. She had her arms folded as chest felt it would cave in just from her heart beating so rapidly. Right behind her she could hear Dick crying as Barbara was consoling him. Alfred sits beside her as he could see the horror on his granddaughters face. He touches her shoulder to comfort her.

Bruce sat with Selina while looking at his daughter and his son. He looked angered but inside he was truly worried for them.

As everyone began to leave Y/N stood by the gravestone, alone. All she could think about was there last moments together.

Bruce sees Dick sitting in his car barely moving as he tried to remember where is keys are.. He doesn't need to be driving..

"I took the keys from him earlier.. I'll drive him home" Barbara said to Bruce

He gently nodded trusting her to take care of his son. Bruce sees his daughter just as he hears thunder. A obvious sign that the storm from above is nearing closer to them. Though he understood her reasoning for not reacting to her surroundings. Bruce takes his umbrella opening it. Selina kisses he side of his face

"I'll be home" she ensured, and he knew she wasn't referring to her apartment.

Bruce softly smiled to her and then steps to his daughter.

Y/N feels drops touch her hair and then her skin. Then she doesn't feel the rain on her skin. She looks to her dad who was holding the umbrella over both of them.

As if she was a defenseless child she clings to her father, needing his comfort. He held her with one arm kissing her head.

Shortly thereafter she found out, she was pregnant with twins.. It wasn't until they were 5 months old that they were finally able to meet their dad.

~

The door to the Manor lightly creaks open by Wally. Who was holding chocolates with a bouquet of his wife's favorite flowers. Dick sees his best friend and softly smiled. Wally motions him to be quiet.

"go get her" Dick proudly said

Wally hears his kids in the family room he peeps his head in. The were both unaware of their father's presence while playing games with Damian. Wally grabbed a wrapped piece of chocolate and tossed it Iris's forehead and the Jai's neck.

The twins picked up the pieces of chocolate confused. They turned seeing him and gasped "DADDY!!!"

"hi my sweet princess!! Hi buddy!!" Wally grinned opening his arms as he knelt down.

The twins speed to hug their father. Wally was, in tears as he held them. Y/N had heard her children and wanted to stand onto her feet. She wants to run as fast as she can.. Though she began to sob to such a degree it shakes her weakening her greatly.

Wally gives his kids a tight hug before taking the flowers and chocolates to his wife. He hears her crying.. Wally speeds to her kneeling right in front of her. She looks at him unable to calm herself down. He puts down the flowers and chocolates on the coffee table.

Wally reaches his hands up to her face and kisses her. She hugs him with such a tightness it twisted his heart to ache as he realized.. What she was thinking about and what was bothering her.

"I missed you so much babe. I am completely and genuinely so very sorry" he apologized

"it's OK" she dried her tears and kisses his lips ".. Thank you for the flowers and the chocolates" she softly laughs

"yes I know today is not Valentines!" he defends playfully. "but I had to make up for lost time" he smiled softly.

[quietly-by-myself]

Across the Silence of the Valley of Dreams - Chapter 3

Masterlist

CW: past child abuse, past slavery, past kidnapping, defiant whumpee, nonhuman whumpee, creepy whumper, carewhumper, shapeshifter whump, lab whump, fantasy whump, medical whump, fictional religion, shock collar, washing mouth with soap, mentioned past suicide attempt, fantasy racism, emeto, electrocution whump

===

“You’re hurt.”

June hardly remembered falling asleep. However, he knew well that he was asleep when he saw the black-pelted deer in front of him. Her legs were bound in chains and, on her head, the skull and horns of a male deer adorned her head.

“Goddess-”

The look in the shadowy, pitch black eyes of his goddess softened a little. “My dear, what have you gotten yourself into?”

“I’ll get out- I swear, Goddess. I will.” Panic rose in his chest. He couldn’t lose his status, his magic, his protection. He’d dedicated his life to this.

“June.” His name was more like a command coming from his goddess’ mouth. “Listen to me.”

June had hardly realized himself beginning to hyperventilate. Calling on that familiar magic that came to him in that space between life and death, the domain of the Forgotten Gods, June took a few breaths and forced his head to clear. A few more breaths cleared his head completely. He was fine. Here, he was safe. June was a friend of the Forgotten Gods.

All the while, his Goddess watched him from behind her skull mask, quietly observing June. Even after June had calmed down, she stayed quiet, as if she was debating some great response.

“June, my dear, you’re safe here. You’ve proven yourself. I gave you my blessing. You have my protection here. I’m not abandoning you. I’m not like your father.”

His father. The bastard that put him in this situation in the first place. June would never trust a non-witch. Never again. Not after him.

Of course, his Goddess understood without either of them saying anything. She knew that June’s liver was adiposed with hatred and resentment. After all, why would she have chosen June if not for the hatred he stored in his liver? Away from his heart to hope for a bit more hope for life?

What was June supposed to say? He took a breath, trying to ground himself.

“I’m sorry for doubting you, Goddess.”

The deer considered him for a moment. “June. It’s okay. I know you’re hurt and you’re hurting. I’ve seen bitterness consume people. You must carry out your duty. You cannot let bitterness consume your heart.” 

Carefully approaching him, his Goddess laid her head on June’s shoulder. Hesitantly, June touched his Goddess’ neck. Even if he’d touched her before, each time still felt strange. A being with so much power robbed from her allowed him to touch her. It was a vulnerability and tenderness unbecoming of a Forgotten God.

“I want to go see my mother.” June’s voice broke a bit on the words. His mother was an ocean away, a trek that June would never be able to make. “I miss her.”

“I know you do, June. When things like what you went through happen to us, there’s a child left inside us. That child holds the emotions, the memories you felt then. Your child is still full of anger and spite for what happened. You keep trying to silence that child, but you must listen to it.”

Listen to it. How could June listen to it? Whenever he did… “He sold me into slavery because I’m a half-blood! He planned for me to be used against my mother.” June’s heart sank. “That- that can’t be what Linden has planned.”

His Goddess sighed. “I don’t know what they have planned. I cannot see more of the mortal realm than you can, my dear June. Even then, I was never clairvoyant.”

Taking heaving breaths, trying to prevent himself from crying, June stepped back from his Goddess, that doe wearing a buck’s skull and horns. “Is she even still looking for you?”

His Goddess paused. “I knew her at one point, June. Your mother is an old witch. She… she was there when the magician’s gods drove us away. She’s a bitter person.” If a deer could smile, his Goddess certainly was. “You take after her in many ways, June.”

June looked down. 

“June, I cannot be with you much longer. You will wake soon. However, I want you to know that you’re stronger than you think you are. You’ll survive and you’ll triumph.”

“No, Goddess!”

However, that dark space faded as June awoke to the solitary cell Linden had locked him in. Burying his hands in his face, June felt tears rolling down his face, wetting the bandages over his eye. 

“What are you crying for? You’re going to ruin your bandages.”

June’s head snapped up, searching for Linden. He was sitting in a chair, watching June.

“The fuck? Were you watching me sleep?”

“My subjects have often been suicidal their first night with me, so yes. I did watch you sleep. I wanted to ensure you wouldn’t do anything stupid.”

The small amount of kindness Linden had shown June was gone. June found himself growling a bit.

“Creepy much?”

“I’m a doctor and a scientist, June. I have to ensure your well-being. That includes strictly monitored meals, medication, and yes, watching you sleep if I believe you to be a suicide risk. It’s a precaution.”

June’s growl turned into a snarl. He didn’t have much time, though, before he went crashing to the ground, spasming in every part of his body. Electricity coursed through him, making every nerve fire off painful signals.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck.”

Up went the intensity. June couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think. Everything was agony and there was nothing he could do. He was helpless against the shocks. 

When the electricity finally stopped, June didn’t have a moment to catch his breath. Linden was dragging him to the bathroom, grabbing the bar of soap from the sink. Forcing June’s mouth open, Linden shoved the bar of soap in June’s mouth, scrubbing while June gagged and choked on the soap. It burned his mouth so much.

“Watch your language,” Linden hissed in his ear. “You will not swear around me. I understand that your… kind has less manners, but you will have manners in my presence.”

By the time that Linden had taken the soap out of June’s mouth, June was ready to vomit. Heave after heave of bile came out of his stomach and into the sink, his mouth a soapy, vomit-filled mess. Burning and not burning, the taste of soap and his own vomit making him only vomit more.

Linden chuckled. “Are you ready to go to the lab, little fox?”

June glared, the lights from the bathroom buzzing and causing his head to pound. When had Linden turned the lights on?

“In your-”

June fell to the ground as an even stronger shock filled his body. He wanted to scream out, curse Linden for doing this to him, but he knew it would get him nowhere. So, he just waited, feeling that bitterness and hatred for magicians in his heart.

In his heart, the anger consumed him. He needed to be smart. He needed to be wise. He needed to make his goddess proud. 

So, when Linden yanked June up, June obeyed. He didn’t put up a fight. Linden looked at him with a raised eyebrow, but June tried to ignore it. 

Even when Linden brought him down the hall by the collar, rubbing against the spot burned by the shocks, and into the lab, June didn’t fight. Today, he couldn’t fight. He needed to watch and learn.

How had he forgotten that?

===

Taglist: @i-can-even-burn-salad @whumpsday @pigeonwhumps @oddsconvert

[whump-tr0pes]

Honor Bound 6 - 24

Honor Bound 6 - 24 (Not Used to Freedom) - @badthingshappenbingo

Requested by @who-needs-a-life-anyways

Red X for posted, white X for requested! Send in your requests! If you don’t see a prompt here that you already requested, please send it again!

~

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound, Honor Bound 2, Honor Bound 3, Honor Bound 4, Honor Bound 5, and the prequel Vera.

AO3

Masterlist

Contents: past captivity, themes of self-harm, past hallucinations, angst, recovery, Gavin being a feral Pomeranian with Isaac desperately holding the leash, frank discussion of murder, past child abuse, complicated feelings about abusers, Isaac "it's not my fault my love language is Acts of Service and all I know how to do is kill" Moore, discussion of dead parents

~

For the third time in three days, Gavin woke with no collar around his neck. He woke with a soft mattress beneath him and a thick, warm blanket over him, and the golden late-September sun creeping into the window. The shades were pulled back, so that the sun could come in and so that he could see out, see that he wasn’t in a small windowless basement with stairs up to a single door, a high ceiling, and a gallows against one wall.

Most importantly, he woke next to the warm, strong body of the man who had saved him, and he told himself yet again like a fervent prayer that this wasn’t Schiester’s cruelest hallucination yet.

Gavin rolled closer to Isaac and tucked his head in the hollow of Isaac’s throat. He didn’t know if Isaac was awake, or if it was simple unconscious instinct that had Isaac’s arms drawing around him and holding him close, but he didn’t care. He breathed out a shaky sigh and allowed himself to be held. There was warmth, here, unlike anything he had ever felt in the depths of Schiester’s basement. Even with the blankets he had earned with his desperate, often false confessions, nothing had ever felt even close to this warm. It had only ever been the chill of the air and of Schiester’s gaze, and the fire of the cane, the knife, the beatings. Then the chill, again, of being so completely, utterly alone.

Tears wet the pillow beneath Gavin’s head, and he sniffled. He hadn’t meant to start crying.

A hand cradled his cheek, and he pressed his lips to Isaac’s palm. The tears flowed freely now. His face screwed up and he buried it against Isaac’s chest.

“Gavin?” Isaac’s chest rumbled against Gavin’s ear. Gentle fingers slid through Gavin’s short hair, and he shivered at the soft touch. It had been days of soft touch, of clean clothes, of a warm bed, of hot food… Surely Schiester wouldn’t let him feel this relief for days. The only price had been watching Isaac’s pain as he reeled from his memories of Rosa, watching Isaac as he struggled so, so hard not to punish himself for all the shame that threatened to crush him – and nearly losing his own life again at the hands of another specter with cold blue eyes.

But that was Edrissa, not Schiester. And Sam said they really don’t think she’s going to try again.

“Are you alright?” Isaac rasped, tilting Gavin’s face up so he could get a good look. Isaac’s eyebrows pulled together over dark eyes and darker circles beneath them. The kindness in his eyes, the concern, fully undid him. Gavin’s throat closed around a sob.

“No, look,” Isaac said, his own voice tight. He guided Gavin’s face up, tilted it so he was looking at the room, dimly lit by the sun. “This is real. You’re safe, Gavin, you’re—”

“N-no, I, I know,” Gavin whispered. “I think… I know.” Isaac let out a breath. “I’m just…” Gavin pulled Isaac close again, buried his face in his neck. Tears wet the collar of Isaac’s sleeping shirt. “I was just… so scared. So alone.”

“I know,” Isaac said brokenly.

“I thought was going to die,” Gavin whimpered.

“I kn-know,” came the reply. Isaac’s arms tightened around him.

“I thought… I thought I… I thought I broke you, I thought I made you hate me so much you’d l-leave me there…”

Count yourself lucky.

Ice clutched Gavin’s chest, threatened to drag him away from Isaac’s arms and down, down into the depths of Schiester’s basement again. It was always waiting for him, always there. He simply had to close his eyes and let himself be pulled in.

A hand, gentle as a kiss but strong as iron, slid under Gavin’s jaw and lifted his face until his eyes met Isaac’s again. Isaac’s lips trembled as he said, “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry that he… that he ever made you feel that way. That he ever made it possible. But Gavin… no. No. You didn’t break me. And I could…” The hand on Gavin’s jaw began to shake. “I could never… leave you there, Gavin, I’m… sorry it took me so long to—”

“Don’t,” Gavin breathed, and shook his head. “Don’t.” He reached up and twined his fingers through Isaac’s, kissing each scarred knuckle. Gavin’s breaths were shaky and ragged, and Isaac’s matched his.

Gavin forced himself to draw in a slow breath through his nose.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

Nothing smelled like Isaac in the basement, but Gavin could smell Isaac all around him now. It calmed him, slowed the stuttering beat of his heart. He scrubbed at the tears with his sleeve and met Isaac’s eyes again.

“I want to go outside again today,” he said with an uncertain smile.

Isaac’s lips curved up. “That sounds nice. Any particular place, or…?”

“Just outside,” Gavin said. “Anywhere. The town again, or…” He trailed off as Isaac’s smile froze. “Or the woods, maybe…”

“We can go into town,” Isaac said thickly. “We can, um…” He swallowed hard. His thumb rubbed along his forearm over his long sleeve, back and forth, and unconscious movement that made Gavin’s own scars itch. “If you want—”

“I don’t want to run into Rosa again,” Gavin said as he gently took Isaac’s wrist in his hand. Isaac went rigid and met Gavin’s eyes with a startled look. “I… that’s the last thing I want.”

Isaac swallowed hard and squeezed his eyes shut. “If we, um, r-run into her while we’re out, then—”

“I don’t want to run into her again if not allowed to kill her, Isaac,” Gavin said, as calmly as he could muster.

Isaac’s eyes flew open. His pulse raced under Gavin’s fingers. “S-sorry?” he mumbled.

“After what she did to you?” Gavin said, feeling rage coiling inside him like an injured predator. He thought his fury had been beaten out of him, cut out of him.

Not when it comes to my family. Not when it comes to Isaac.

He cleared his throat and took a steadying breath. “After what she… did to you,” he murmured, “I don’t want to see her again unless you’ll let me at her next time.”

“You could barely stand,” Isaac huffed, incredulous.

“I could have done damage,” Gavin said. His stomach roiled with bitter hatred for the woman who had looked at Isaac as he fell apart in front of her, because of what she had done to him, and laughed.

Laughed.

“You don’t know her,” Isaac said, shifting his gaze down. “She made me, um, who I am.”

“Bullshit she did, Isaac,” Gavin snapped. “She taught you how to handle a weapon and take inhuman amounts of punishment, and she cheated because you were already ready to do the second thing. And she couldn’t even beat you in a fair fight, so I think I stand a fair chance at half strength.”

“She can… but I…” Isaac shook his head as if dazed. “You’re not at half strength, Gavin.”

Gavin snorted, his eyes still blazing. “Fine. A quarter. My point still stands, she’s a fucking piss-ant weakling that couldn’t beat you with one arm tied behind your back, so you should have let me at least try while I had my shot at her. I don’t know if I’ll get another chance.”

Isaac’s brow furrowed. “Why do you keep… She’s not weak, she used to beat me every fucking night. She used to beat me into the fucking ground. And—”

“First off, that’s fucking horrifying, so I hope you registered what you just said.” Isaac opened his mouth, but Gavin kept going. “Second, how old were you when that was happening?”

Isaac blinked. “Um… I mean, I was… younger, but… even once I got a little older, she could still take me with the others, she could still—”

“So she could beat you as long as there were multiple other people you were fighting? Along with her?” Gavin’s head was beginning to throb.

“I mean… sometimes it was one-on-one with her, at the end of the night, when—”

“When you were tired?”

Isaac looked at Gavin helplessly. “I mean… yes, when I was tired, but sometimes you have to fight when you’re tired—”

“But I’m guessing she was always fresh when this happened.” Gavin’s jaw ached, too. He forced himself to relax it.

“I… I don’t remember, but… yeah, I guess she was fresh more often than not…?”

Gavin was shaking with rage. “Why didn’t you let me fucking kill this woman?” he breathed. “Who hurt you and used you and made you think, after all of this, that she was somehow stronger than you, so you were too scared to fight back against all of it?”

“I wouldn’t have fought back,” Isaac said as he shook his head. “I would have lost the family if I… if I ever…”

Gavin fell silent. He had no answer, no retort for the words that faded between them. Gavin had never fought back, either. He had never even considered it. He had been so young when his parents first made him afraid that he never remembered there being another option.

And, just like Isaac, he had been saved when his family cast him out when he failed to be what they made him.

“S-sorry,” Gavin rasped, and pressed his lips to Isaac’s scarred knuckles again. “I’m… I’m just… angry. At what she did to you.”

“Yeah,” Isaac said softly. “I’m getting that.”

“You’re not angry?” Gavin’s eyes flicked up to Isaac’s.

“Um…” Isaac wouldn’t meet his eyes. “I am. A little. But mostly there’s just… shame.” He seemed to be trying very, very hard not to press on the newest cuts on his forearms – the ones not left by Gavin, but by Isaac himself. “I mean… are you angry at your parents?”

“Yes,” Gavin answered, without hesitation. Then, “But… mostly for… what they did to you. The family.”

Isaac huffed and pressed a kiss to Gavin’s hair. “Feelings about the people who hurt us doesn’t ever seem to make much sense. I wasn’t angry at my mother for… years. I mean… I didn’t realize I felt anything but guilt for her until this year, and even then it’s… hard.”

“Yeah,” Gavin whispered. He drew in a deep breath and let it out.

“For what it’s worth, while we’re on the topic of parents and killing people,” Isaac said, “I know this might be… kind of a weird thing to say.” He gently cradled Gavin’s face and pressed their foreheads together. “But for what your parents did to you… I’m jealous that Vera got to kill both of them. Doesn’t seem fair.”

Grief, familiar and faded, washed through Gavin’s chest. A bitter laugh tightened in his throat. “That’s fair,” he said. “And definitely the most romantic thing you’ve said all morning.”

“I do what I can,” Isaac said with an equally tense laugh, but the arms around Gavin were careful and warm. Gavin fit into them like Isaac’s arms were home – the only home he’d ever known. All his parents’ homes, his warehouse in the east prairie, the Crayton house, the lake house – they had all been places he’d laid his head, but none of them had ever been home. The only place that he had ever rested, the only place he had ever found peace, was in the arms of the man who held him now – the arms of the man he thought he had broken a second time. Tears burned in his eyes again and he blinked them away. He didn’t want to spend the morning crying and angry. He wanted to spend the morning outside with the sun on his face and his hand twined with Isaac’s.

“I want to get up,” Gavin said softly, and pushed himself upright. “We don’t have to go into town, but… please, Isaac, let’s—”

“No, we can go into town,” Isaac said with a shaky smile. “If Rosa lives here, then… I’ll have to find a way to make peace with that. And if you want to go into town, then… for fuck’s sake, we’re going into town, and no one is going to stop us.” He leaned forward and brushed his lips against Gavin’s cheek. Gavin turned his head and caught Isaac’s mouth in a kiss that Isaac broke after only a moment.

Gavin’s smile faltered. “To town it is,” he said softly. “And then it would be good to visit with Vera and Tori?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Isaac said. He groaned as he rolled out of bed and stripped off his shirt. “We have some stuff to catch them up on.”

“Yeah,” Gavin said as he averted his eyes from Isaac’s scars. “Yeah, we do.”

Continued here

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[not-poignant]

Constellations 01 LAUNCH on AO3! (FFS universe, Efnisien + Gwyn)

Title: Constellations (Falling Falling Stars sequel re: Gwyn + Efnisien)

Rating: Mature

Tags: Contemporary, trauma recovery, men in therapy, references to BDSM relationships, past trauma recovery, complex family relationships, hurt/comfort, angst, historical child abuse, historical familial abuse, reconciliation, Gwyn’s a stalker for five seconds

Summary: (Will make little sense if you haven’t read Falling Falling Stars) It’s been around ten years since the events of Falling Falling Stars, and Efnisien and Gwyn are living their respective lives, and haven’t really been in touch since. Over time, Gwyn becomes more curious about his cousin, especially after learning something he hopes isn’t true, and after seeing him by chance in a park, kicks off a series of events that helps create new opportunities for reconciliation, and discovering what it really means to be family. 

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Constellations - 01 - A Stalking Star (Gwyn + Efnisien reconcilation) on AO3

In which Gwyn accidentally finds out that Efnisien may have been molested at Hillview, doesn’t know how to deal with it, and then sees him by accident at a park and maybe just…keeps invisibly trying to watch him at that park during subsequent weekends, because he wants to get to know who his cousin really is and doesn’t quite know how to be normal about it.

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EARLY ACCESS: Constellations - 04 - Debrief in the Woods on Patreon and Ream:

Constellations 04 on Patreon

Constellations 04 on Ream

In this chapter, Gwyn and Augus debrief together while taking Fleet for a walk in a forest. Gwyn reflects on this 'new' Efnisien he's meeting, and Augus begins to realise he may never have had a proper picture of Efnisien in the first place.

– Thanks to all the Patreon and Ream supporters for making this (and my other writing) possible!

[wolfstarshipping]

The Things We'd Do For A Coffee Maker (6805 words) by AllThisAndLoveTooWillRuinUs Rating: General Audiences Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, minor James Potter/Lily Evans Potter muggle AU, fake dating

Summary: In which to cover up a lie to Lily, Sirius and Remus have No Choice but to get fake married.   “So what you’re saying is, you’re planning to marry Sirius for. . . fun?” “And for a coffee maker, yes.”

Comment: This fic had everything I want from a fake dating fic, and the premise of Sirius sending Lily a fake wedding invite to get a free coffee maker is just so hilarious, if you haven't read it already I highly recommend reading it!