#People who know me irl no you do not perceive this lmao

[rachie-neyiea]

Considering the amount of reblogs on that Xedgin AU I figure I may as well post a link over here.

[butch-reidentified]

do you think it’s possible for a lesbian to be somewhat attracted to a trans woman (who passes well) if the only place she sees the tw is online/in videos/in pictures? i’m gender critical and i believe attraction is based on sex, but if somebody strongly resembles the same sex and you’re only seeing them from a physical distance, wouldn’t it make sense for somebody attracted to that sex to be able to find them attractive? (not referring to pursuing a relationship with them)

its almost 4am at the end of a long work week, and I'm still recovering from covid, so I hope this is coherent lmao

ik this will be controversial but I urge people to really mull over this before reacting in anger, though I really do understand the impulse:

honestly, as a (former) neuroscience researcher and someone still deeply passionate about neuroscience who likes to read neuroscience journal articles in her spare time... I think it's fucking complicated and there's a bit of intellectual dishonesty on both sides. the TRA side claims you can (only!) be attracted to someone's internal identity or ~gender feelings~ while the gc side claims that there is NO circumstance in which a person could pass well enough as the opposite sex to be perceived as attractive by someone whose orientation includes that "passing" sex.

and yet, I've had the experience of being at an lgbt bar or club and seeing someone I thought was a cute masc woman initially, only to realize it was an androgynous or slightly effeminate-appearing gay man - and many many lesbians I've told this to have shared similar experiences with me. I know a male transitioner online who is really cool and calls himself a eunuch rather than a woman or anything, and while I don't find him attractive, I have to admit that in the ~100ish photos I've seen of him (incl many candid full body ones taken by other people), I've not been able to "clock" any distinct male characteristics. maybe that would be different in person, but we live on totally different continents so idk.

I've known a TON of trans people irl, likely far more than most people on radblr or anywhere. this is partly because Florida has the second highest # of trans people in the country, and partly bc of where I went to college, and partly because my life is just strange like that. but I'll admit I've known a couple mt"f"-transitioned folks who I truly had no idea were male for quite some time - physically or behaviorally.

the reality is that your brain only knows what it perceives, and if it perceives a male as a female without your knowledge, and your orientation includes females, then it could be possible to feel attraction. however, I'm preeetty damn sure that would not persist beyond learning that person's sex is male, at which point you'd probably suddenly start noticing whatever male traits you were able to overlook initially. but I don't think it makes rational sense to claim that it's never possible to experience "mistaken" attraction for a period of time. there are known cases of historical women who lived as men who were flirted with by straight women who believed them to be male, for instance.

this is one of those situations where the truth (what I've said above) could be twisted and deliberately misinterpreted by the opposing party, which I believe to be why so few, if any, are willing to acknowledge this. but it's a question I've pondered a lot and this is the only logical conclusion I've reached. and it simply is not rational for anyone to act like anything I've said here implies that homosexuals can/should be open to dating/sleeping with the opposite sex. anyone who could come to that conclusion from this response needs a seriously intensive review of reading comprehension.

like I said I'm not fully awake so I'm sure I could have made my points here more clearly and I'm sure I'll get retaliation from people who want to nitpick my wording or whatever, like usual, but o well.

[back-on-my-autistic-bullshit]

Every time I think about Lance a little too hard I become an irl reenactment of these images

He's a very social butterfly type of character right? And a pretty decent source of comedy/jokes for the group

My adhd headcanon for Lance absolutely comes into play with this btw, I don't have it myself but my friends with adhd say they always felt this obligation to be a social butterfly/jokester to fit in/be "useful" and this fits Lance SO well are you kidding me

Lance is absolutely so smart and talented but he almost definitely doesn't seem to believe in himself nearly as much as he should (a bunch of different things show this, one I can think of rn is when he got insecure over not being called "the sharpshooter" by the other paladins despite his bayard (the weapon that literally changes to the best shape for its paladin) being a gun)

This is also to me why his rivalry with Keith was such a big think at the start of the series (it definitely evolves from that lmao but that's a topic for a different day)

It helps him feel better about himself and his skills when he gets one over on Keith, and thats something he desperately needs (that and Iverson has probably said that spiel about Lance being a fighter pilot as opposed to cargo because Keith flunked out more than once)

Anyway

He makes these jokes and socialises with everyone to be "useful" to the group and to compensate for his perceived lack of ability because sure he may be a bad pilot but if everyone loves him and he's friendly then they're less likely to get rid of him, right?

I mean, seriously, they all get transported to space millions of light years away from earth and his first reaction is to make jokes, act silly and flirt with Allura

Respectfully, that's definitely not his actual reaction? Internally, he is a scared teenager doing anything he can to stay useful to this group of people he probably doesn't really know (maybe excluding Hunk? But even then)

Voltron could have done so much with Lance but instead they made him Allura's love interest and stuck him as a FARMER on altea away from his FAMILY who are so so important to him! Lance has always wanted to be a pilot and losing his identity as a paladin probably hit him HARD because it made him feel worth something to people!!

At the very fucking least Lance would have went with Keith and the blades of marmora, helping people in a new, different way instead and find a way of finding worth without fighting but still helping people and flying through space

Wow that was longer than expected anyway

[beanghostprincess]

What are you most controversial/unpopular OP opinions??? Sorry if it was answered before

You want me to get canceled so bad-- If I speak-- But idk, I guess I'll say the controversial opinions I can say publicly without a bunch of people coming at me!

Zo$an is a bit... Overrated? And by overrated I mean extremely/annoyingly overrated. I like the ship and its canon dynamic but I think at least 80% of the fandom portrays them in a very mischaracterized way. Not to say that... The ship is literally everywhere and the shippers always look for every little thing to prove they're canon, even if the "proof" has literally nothing to do with them. It's not that I don't enjoy the ship (although I must admit I prefer other dynamics a lot more) I just can't stand shippers that go to extremes. It's funny because I think Zo$an's dynamic is way more interesting and romantic in canon than it will ever be in the fandom. It's a bit sad, ngl. I liked them a lot at first but it got so tiring and now I am pretty exhausted from seeing it everywhere. The people force it to be more than it is when the canon is already pretty fucking great.

Adding to the Zo$san thing. I think that relationship would only work if Luffy is there somehow but it wouldn't last a day without him in the relationship. Unless there's like, a ton of character development most of these people don't make them go through.

One Piece Film Z is my worst enemy. It's such a boring movie. The only good thing is the soundtrack and maybe the suits but God watching that was torture.

Boa hate is uhhhh weird. I mean, I get why the joke about her being in love with Luffy might be annoying, but I think most of you need to learn to understand that Oda's sense of humor is sometimes a bit too exaggerated (and not funny) and it has basically nothing to do with the actual canon dynamics between characters. Boa likes Luffy because he's one of the first men who has ever treated her right, so of course she confuses that feeling with love. And of course, yeah, it isn't canon. Whatever. Just read between the lines, maybe? And also, stop using words like "pedo" to describe her because using that term so lightly about 1) a fictional character and 2) somebody who's clearly not a pedo is fucked up. Lmao. Do you even know what that word means???

Once again complaining about Pudding hate and saying that it's stupid. I won't overanalyze because I always do it with her, but the only reason people hate her is for misogynistic reasons and because they're babying Sanji. Evil male characters are okay and hot and very traumatized but the second it's a woman she's the most evilest person ever! Because God forbid they make mistakes! Suddenly their character development isn't valid because they hurt their babygirl!

Now that we're talking about my dearest Pudding. Not tagging anybody of course, but I saw this post with so many interactions of people agreeing about Sanji considering violence as a sign of love which??? Doesn't make sense at all?? OP said it was because he couldn't tell the difference between love/abuse because of his family, but that's just... Not accurate. That could only happen if they had manipulated him into thinking abuse is a type of love, but he had healthy love growing up. Even when he was with the Vinsmokes (Sora and Reiju, I love you). And yet OP said Sanji considered Pudding's behavior flirting (wrong) and that's why he let her attack him (nope) and that it was proof of Zo$an. And okay, it's not a hugely popular theory, but a lot of people agreed with it and it bothered me a lot because it's both out of character and also using Pudding (complex female character) once again to try and prove the canon of a ship (that doesn't have anything to do with WCI either???). It just bothers me. People can perceive the story however they want but... Y'know.

OPLA isn't that good. Or good at all? I only like it because I like the cast and it's funny seeing my blorbos irl. But the script is simple and dull and just stupid most of the time. The characters are either simplified, mischaracterized, or forgotten. And tbh most of the shots are very awful and could be a lot better. The directing is also nonexistent. It's 6/10 and 3 of those points are because both the Zolu and the cast.

Apparently this is a very common theory about Nami's origins, but, uh, I don't think we need to know? What else do you need to know about her? People say she's a lost princess or something like that as if we didn't have a lost princess already (Sanji ily). Repeating the same plot would be boring and underwhelming, but also? It'd be extremely useless for the plot and it'd go against everything about Nami's story and the way Luffy reacts to it.

Luffy isn't canon aroace. In fact, the reasoning people use for him being "coded" is the same Oda uses for Zoro too and Zoro is almost never portrayed as the "idiot who doesn't know what sex is" the way Luffy often is. If you're calling Luffy canon aroace for what Oda said about him being focused on adventures, the same goes for Zoro being focused on his dream. They could be coded arospec but there's nothing confirmed and the constant discourse about it is stupid. Attacking others because of their ships just because you don't agree with them and saying it's wrong using our identity to do it is very fucked up. Especially since most of the time people complaining aren't even aroace. The only reason people do it (attacking others saying they can't ship Luffy and that it's "weird" and "wrong") is that they infantilize Luffy/Don't want him getting in between their ships (<- aroace person writing this) (also, it's very ableist since people agree on Luffy also being neurodivergent coded and treating him like a kid bc of that but this isn't about that now).

Somehow this is very common. Some fucking how. I can't believe I have to say this. I'm tired of people blaming Usopp for what happened in Water 7. Or in general hating Usopp. Actually, he's one of the best-written characters in the whole show and he's so underappreciated it's so frustrating.

Sanji's perv jokes are annoying af and we all know that, but people who hate the character and consider him a red flag for that are missing the point completely. The point being "Oda exaggerates jokes to an annoying extent and most of the time they don't even reflect the character". I understand they can make you uncomfortable (same here tbh) but reducing Sanji to only those jokes is a waste of his character. You need to take jokes less seriously.

If I see one of these "red flag OP boys" TikToks adding Law/Ace/Zoro/Sanji next to fucking Doffy I will riot. Also, stop adding Crocodile there. He's a mafioso, there's NO way he won't be a sweetheart to his lover.

Baron Omatsuri's artstyle and animation is amazing and it fits the plot and aesthetic of the movie perfectly and people saying it's ugly will forever bother me.

"Usopp is suddenly hot after timeskip!" He has always been hot what the fuck are you talking about.

People reduce Nami to her "mean"/"sarcastic" personality a lot when she's quite literally one of the most kind-hearted characters of all. That being said, morally speaking she's probably one of the worst. I could explain how that works but I don't want to do it now, the point is-- Let the girl be sweet instead of making her mean all the time. And also, let her be mean and selfish without making it her entire personality. There's something called "balance".

Film Red was kind of bad. Like, the songs are amazing (thanks, Ado) but the ending is awful and the plot is very meh. I'm only here for Uta and Shanks but the rest of the characters are just useless. I do appreciate Sanji's hair in the movie, though.

[cbk1000]

So, if you don’t mind, why would you not let anyone IRL read your fanfic? Obviously it is really good writing, so is it the subject matter then? Based on your other posts here, it doesn't seem like you are someone who would fear judgement for that? Or is it different IRL? (I understand not letting your mom or dad read the porn though, lol).

No, I wouldn't let my parents read the porn. Lol My parents are also both very homophobic, so even if I didn't mind people IRL reading my work, I'd just keep it from them full stop, because even if I gave them the sanitized version of something with the sex scenes cut out, they'd think it was disgusting because two men are in love.

It's not the subject matter; I just find the thought of anyone I know IRL, and regularly have to look in the eyes, reading my writing to be incredibly cringe. I'd let my sister, a fellow writer, read it if she really wanted to, but she would not be allowed to do it in front of me, and she would also not be allowed to talk about it afterward. Lmao

It's not shame about fandom, or subject matter; I've read plenty of off-the-wall stuff and happily terrorize the people who know me by talking about it. "Jenn writes and reads gay fanfic" would probably be one of the least surprising things my friends and family could learn about me. It's my writing specifically that I don't want them getting hold of, because I find the idea embarrassing. I do not, tbh, think it's that good; obviously I enjoy doing it, or I wouldn't have written close to a million words in the last few years, and I take joy in it, and there are lines or scenes I think are well-done, but I don't think readers really understand how I and my Imposter Syndrome perceive my writing. I don't think it's the worst thing in the world, because I have read some really REALLY terrible writing, but I do think it's kind of just mediocre and underwhelming overall, so I think really the motivation for not wanting anyone IRL to see it is that I would find it embarrassing for friends and family to find out I'm really not that great at a hobby they've seen me put so much time and effort into.

It's different with internet strangers, who don't see the alarming volume of medieval history and Arthurian literature I've collected to help with world building, or how many times a week, and for how long, I disappear into my room to write. I also don't have to live in the same house as them after they read my writing. And, too, my specific audience is full of fanfic readers, who are judging it as fanfic, and who are comparing it to other fanfic, a genre that has absolutely no quality control, and where just spell checking your work puts you ahead of a lot of the pack. It's being judged, by fanfic readers, on its merits as fanfic, and it's being compared to other fanfiction. Of course it looks good and polished under those circumstances; a lot of fanfiction is written by people who haven't even been alive as long as I've been writing. But most of the people in my life are not fanfic readers, and would be judging my writing against the actual books they've read. So I guess what I really worry about is when it breaks containment, and has to be judged on its own, just as a piece of writing, and not as fanfiction being compared to a lot of works written by inexperienced authors, it'll be obvious that it's not very good. Even as fanfic, if you were to compare my work fairly, to writers of a similar age (30s) who have been writing for decades, it doesn't really stand out. A lot of writers of that age and experience level are far more educated than me, and, even as hobbyists, often have actual degrees, or at least some kind of credentials, in creative writing or literature. Whereas I am just someone who reads a lot of books and loves to tell stories, and I think that's fairly obvious when you compare my work to people who actually have formal education or training in writing.

[doukeshi-kun]

Hey! I’m not sure if this falls into the “personal questions” category, if so, feel free to ignore this ask, and I’m sorry in advance!

You don’t have to get personal and speak about yourself at all, I’ve just been very clueless lately, about whether or not I might be aromantic. I’d say I’m pretty emotional and I do love, but the how romance is portrayed, and the idea of a “typical” romantic relationship has always seemed so shallow and meaningless to me. And I get second hand embarrassment from other people’s romantic relationships irl and in the media. And I can’t really tell platonic and romantic love apart, to me, romantic love is just love paired with sexual attraction (and sometimes it’s like super cringe too.)

I do crave connection with people who are “more special” to me than just friends, but I just don’t know if I’d call that romance, and I’ve never had a crush either. What would you consider the best way to feel less confused about this feeling of mine?

i'm actually happy to talk about aroace stuff because i know i won't be able to talk about it freely irl lmao. this is a bit long!

aromantic doesn't mean you're 100% not having any sort of romantic attraction towards someone—it generally means having little to no romantic attraction. besides, there are a lot more identities fall under the aromantic umbrella like grayromantic and demiromantic. i suggest you to read more into these identites if you're feeling conflicted and having those 'jumps' in your attraction.

these are all my opinions and experiences 👇 yours might differ bcs each human is unique to their own :)

i don't really want to get too personal here... but like a few years ago, there's this person whom i really wanted to befriend and i'm only ever interested in the idea of becoming his friend. however, people around me were taking my interest as something romantic and started shipping us together into a couple. it icked me so so badly because i knew i would enjoy being his friend but not his partner. i like the thought of being friends and that was it. that is all. no romantic relationship or anything. i have no desire to do romantic things with him, i have no desire to evolve the friendship or anything, i don't even like him romantically.

for me, that was my discovery of platonic attraction. i knew i wanted to form a friendship, and that was it. nothing more. i think the biggest sign that i feel stromgly that i'm aro is that i don't remember having a crush and i don't feel the need to pursue a relationship with someone else. like once someone started to make flirty comment on me irl, i'm repulsed by it.

i honestly don't know how exactly to describe romance or romantic feelings, mainly because i only perceive romance through medias and not through myself. i become sure i don't feel romantic attraction because i know how it feels to have platonic attraction and aesthetic attraction. i just don't know how it feels to have romantic attraction because well, i don't experience that, how would i know tsksgdjsjs💀

a lot of my friends are in relationships and when i listen to their experiences of anything like that, i could not relate at all. sometimes i'm like "why and how do you guys feel that way" or like "do you HAVE to be in a relationship with them? is it even necessary? is there any difference between being their friends and partner?"

there are more varieties of relationships that could be formed with someone whom you regard as "more special". romantic relationship isn't the only relationship —there are queerplatonic relationship as well. for me, relationship is basically having your intimate needs to be met lol

i really understand the confusion and the feeling of alienation when facing a romantic relationship irl. we're stuck in a world where everyone is into someone and someone is into everyone. the best way that i could think of to deal with this confusion is for you to figure out what kind of attraction you're feeling towards someone you happen to be interested with, be it for any reason really—because at least you can be certain about how some attractions feel like.

[crowtrobotx]

I know this is out of the blue, but thank you so much for being a real one 👍✨️

Like I have nothing against people who see Heisenberg as a gay man, they’re entitled to think that. But I draw the hard line at people who feel the need to bash others just because their views don't align, and then when confronted use the piss poor "it's just a joke" or "it's just an observation" excuses. If you're going to be a bitch at least have the balls to own up to it.

Anyway, loved your work since 2021 and wishing you all the good vibes. 🤗

Oh my goodness, thank you!!! This is such a kind message and I appreciate you so much. ❤️ Good vibes right back at you. I’m glad that my rantings have resonated with folks because sometimes I wonder if *spongebob voice* I’M the maniac. Getting dragged into this stuff really makes me feel like it sometimes, haha.

Yes! To be clear I also truly do not care what your HC’s are! I love that there are people for whom gay Heisy is their thing and I hope they are having fun and keep making their art/fic/etc! Even if I really can’t stand the popular fanon ship I’m so glad it exists for folks who enjoy it and I am not going to spend my time posting about what I don’t like/agree with when they’re not hurting me and I can spend my time on stuff I do like!

And like. I know. I KNOW a lot of these people are teenagers. And I struggle sometimes because “do not fight literal children” is a rule I try to live by lmao but I also really don’t like seeing people target and mock folks for harmless fun. (It’s on sight if a 25+ year old starts putting this shit in the tags tho. I know they’re out there.)

Still, it’s extremely weird because they always defend themselves with “it’s just a joke/it’s not that deep” or “oh my god no one is stopping you from liking x why are you so pressed 🙄 i can’t believe you’re letting my nasty opinions bother you just because i put them right where you can see them with the intent of insulting you.” 💀💀💀 Like what could possibly be the point of doing this if not to, at the very least, actively try to dissuade people you don’t like from engaging with the community? Obviously no one can stop me but if I know that there are dickbags out there who are going to vaguepost and make fun of me when I do, I don’t care how confident and thick skinned you are (and I am very,) it’s still going to sting!

People are not bothered because they’re disconnected from reality and think they’re really married to a pixel man, they’re upset because life is hard enough and you come into your hobby space to have a good time and then find lame ass idiots infesting it. I also think the whole “ohhh my god why are you so upset he’s/she’s not real!!” is a blatant attempt to discredit the hurt parties by once again insinuating that they are “crazy” which once again conveniently ignores multiple realities, chiefly that 1) most people are not upset by a simple opinion that their fave wouldn’t fuck them IRL, they are upset at the blatant meanness of the person making the accusations and 2) even if they are genuinely hurt by the thought because it’s a coping mechanism for them, why does that make it okay for you target them? What gives you the right to harass and mock people who are not bothering you? Do these people think they’re doing these folks a ‘favor’ by forcing them to contend with what they perceive to be some kind of delusion? Shut the hell up. Why do people decide it is their god given right to hold strangers on the internet accountable for psychological “problems” that they’ve completely made up.

Anyway SORRY I have a serious problem shutting the fuck up lol. I have never been good at phrasing my thoughts in a coherent way especially when I’m grumpy. I am very glad my little circle is full of awesome, open minded and levelheaded folks and not gatekeepers/weirdos (derogatory) who have decided that diversity of opinion in fandom is bad actually and that women and femmes specifically are enemy number one.

[vacantgodling]

🔥💜💋🧀🗺️for someone from TCOL!!

AHHHH THANK YOU!!! i think i'll use a randomizer for this since there's so many characters LMAO 👀 and look who we got--a blorbo i never get to talk about in depth <3

🔥Who was their first love? How did it turn out?

for erik, his first love was probably a girl that he knew back when he was growing up on diisai. i personally can't be assed to make a name for this random girl bc she's really not that important (as far as i can currently tell and unless i decide to shoot myself in the foot by making her important in some regard--) but they grew up together and learned the Diisaian long bow together, and they were always competing to see who would be the best at it. it was usually neck and neck and if it wasn't for her, erik probably wouldn't be as good an archer as he is today bc she constantly pushed him to get better. it wasn't really meant to be in a romantic sense though, she ended up falling for a different person in their village, and when the two got together, that's when erik finally decided that maybe he should leave home and try to make something of himself. he hasn't talked to hear in nearly 10 years at this point.

💋How romantic do they expect their partner(s) to be in a relationship? Is it a deal-breaker if expectations aren’t met?

well erik is a Bit of a glutton for punishment. he never really expects people to care as much about him as he cares about them. so it wouldn't be a TOTAL deal breaker if his partner wasn't particularly romantic or wasn't on the same level as him--he'd still treat them the same and respect their boundaries. but it does hurt him a little bit, sort of depending on what the things his partner doesn't want to do and doesn't care for are. he's definitely the kind of guy to suffer through a marriage for a decade or more and be totally unhappy but unwilling to let it go because he cares about the person. he should really want better for himself is kind of what i'm saying lol.

💜Do they have a “type” of person they tend to date?

unfortunately erik isn't very good at the actually getting into a relationship part of falling in love/having a crush. i think in his life he's had... 5 people he's really care about in some capacity. which would be the aforementioned longbow girl, miona, galen, fiametta, and dion. so i think if i compare all of those people: erik tends to fall for people who are capable in some way; prowess and capability tend to be turn ons for him. he's not like a full "please step on me" kind of person, but he does also tend to like people who have strong personalities and who are confident in themselves in some way. he's attracted to people who "don't need him" in some ways, and part of that is probably a little bit of self inflicted punishment, though he's not really intending to do that to himself, he just is a bit of a glutton for punishment. however, none of the people who he's ever liked would say that about him, that's just how he perceives things lol.

🧀What’s their cheesiest romantic fantasy? Do they want to recreate it in real life?

hmmm... the MOST ridiculous fantasy that he has would be someone picking him over someone else. like, lets say he's in love with person a and person a is in a relationship/bond with person b. he'd want person a to suddenly realize that they're in love with him and then leave person b to be with him. he realizes its definitely a bit messed up and he would never wish heartbreak on someone like that so he wouldn't want that to happen irl. but he can't help but daydream about it sometimes; being someone's first choice.

🗺️What are some cultural customs surrounding love and romance that they practice?

that's a very good question! i have to think more about some of the finer, nitty gritty details about how love and courtship and all that stuff goes, but i do know that diisai and kiskkaddon both have different practices around love and courtship because they splintered off from the rest of terranean society early on in its development. when i do figure it out tho there will be a post about it haha

[astraystayyh]

Eek more questions hehe I really like this new set

Really curious for #1, #7, #8, #10, #13, #21, #24, #28, #34, and #35!!

These were really good questions hehe

-💫

What inspired you to start writing fanfiction?

it was i think my 3rd month of being a stay? and I really loved reading ff on here even tho I had no idea how this app worked LMAO I've already told her but @rachalixie's hurt/comfort drabbles were my fav thing to read, she was one the first ppl I followed on here, and so, tmi, I was feeling so anxious and I wrote a channie helping u through an anxiety attack drabble (that I never posted AJSNJSB) and I was like hold on! this is fun! i can write what I want??? and post it for people to read...... like I was already writing some poems for a couple of years now but they were just for me yk, so i got super ambitious and i posted a long ass OT8 saying ily for the first time as my first fic akssjnjb i was so nervous like actually shaking and refreshing the notif bar every two seconds, i still rem the very first two comments i got, i think that's when it hit me that people actually READ stuff I wrote.

short answer, i've always loved writing and then stayblr -mainly anny inspired me to start writing too hehe

10. What's your favorite part about the fic writing process?

wahhhh probably coming up with lines i'm proud of?? i also loveee weaving parallels into my fics and for everything to come full circle, I love the symbolic aspects of fic writing in a way, thinking of mundane things and giving them an important significance for the characters!!! someone commented underneath Orange that they cannot believe they're crying over oranges and that rlly made me giggle!! that's the point HEHEH

13. What's the most challenging aspect of writing fanfiction for you?

for me it's descriptions ;;;; especially when it comes to sceneries or clothes or omg PLACES like decor and all,, I can't envision these things in my mind so I always worry I'm not describing them well in my fics,,, also the little transition scenes where nothing MAJOR happens but that are still pivotal to the right flow of the story ;;; yeah these mess with my head the most

21. Have you ever used fanfiction as a way to explore your own emotions or personal experiences?

hiii heyyy ofc i did ZJKNJD i think a lot of authors will relate but art cannot be completely separate from the artist, every work u read of mine has a little (or big) piece of me in it, that's why it's so vulnerable for writers to share their works on this scary place because u are perceived and judged for them and u hope that someone will find solace in ur struggles or relate to ur worries,,, and this is really helping me mend back my rp with love!!!

24. What advice would you give to someone who wants to start writing fanfiction?

JUST DO IT!!!! seriously go for it, you'll 100% cringe at ur earlier works later on but u will also improve and learn and discover things about urself that u would've never known otherwise!!! be self-indulgent and write things for urself and there will be always someone who will appreciate them

34. Are there any fic writing tips or tricks you've learned along the way that you'd like to share?

im trying to think of smtg i never mentioned before mmmm.... oh I think that trying to include bits and quirks of the member u are writing about is always so fun and makes the story more enjoyable for the reader!! ofc we don't know what these idols are like irl BUT there are some aspects of their personalities that we know of (like their interests or small habits) and it's always fun to incorporate into ur story, also helps with the characterization hehe

35. What do you enjoy most about being a fic writer?

THE FEEDBACK!!!!!!!!! nothing beats the feedback for me it's literally what makes the entire thinking, writing and editing process worth it!! the feedback is what keeps me going and fuels my motivation, it is so so important for writers I can't stress this enough,,, I'm so so grateful and lucky to have such sweet readers who leave me the most THOUGHTFUL feedback, like with just one rb u could erase SEAS OF DOUBTS in the writer's mind. i always say this but the only way for me to know if my fic is good is by reading u guys' opinions,,, so yeah the feedback is my fuel ;;;;

7. How do you handle writer's block or moments of creative stagnation? 8. Do you have any rituals or habits that help you get into the zone? 28. What's the most ambitious or challenging fic you've ever written

i answered these here and here <33

[velvetvexations]

Hell yeah late 90s and early 2000s kids things!! Literally cannot relate to older and younger people at all lmao. And the things we grew up with entering the Nostalgic Stuff™ makes me have mixed emotions nowadays haha

There's this Family Guy bit where they go to the Teen Choice Awards and the celebrities are people with names like Chad Chaddinson and Grace McLady and it's exactly how I feel learning about each new variation of the Brothers Paul.

It's funny because I almost politely disagreed with my things being kid's things in particular - there ARE kid's things I love from that era, some of which I think are spectacularly amazing - but then I remembered that teenagers are technically kids as well. It's funny that I want to be so much younger but the age range I identify with is also the one where you most want to be seen as an adult.

The idea of a teenager, regardless of the reality, is that it's all the fun of youth with much less of the drawbacks. It's probably no coincidence that the age I feel most specifically is 16, when you get you theoretically get your driver's license. There's a perceived balance. Also probably why I'm really interested in college life, which despite knowing the many plights of college students I still can't help but painfully weep at how I didn't get that experience, which is perceived as the fun of youth with practically none of the drawbacks.

None of it is rational or actually accurate. High schoolers and college students alike do not have it easy at all. But I had built up a perception of what being a teenager was like...it would have had to have been around when I was four.

I've been deeply obsessed with being a teenager since I was a toddler and just haven't stopped lol.

It adds to my fear of pedojacketing, which I had a really bad and damaging time with many years ago, because, like. Someone once said in all seriousness that me using slang from the 60s and 70s was trying to get close to The Youths, and someone who was older than me at one point claimed I "lost all interest" in them after they turned 18.

Anyway, my point is, it's even worse optics to go around talking about identifying with being a teen, so that's another reason I can get nervous sometimes being anywhere near minors, on the internet or IRL. But I've been making efforts to try not to let anxieties like that fuck me up, and talk about what I want while continuing to avoid minors.

[oiblackestsheep]

Letters to MBTI: ESFJ

Dear ESFJs,

My opposite! You and I... we don't tend to run in the same social circles, most of the time lmao. But you know what, that's okay! I recognize that just because we aren't incredibly close, doesn't mean I don't see you and appreciate everything you do.

Our cognitive functions appear in reverse order and nothing reminds me of that better than getting to spend time with one of you. You find ways to be pragmatic, punctual, and inclusive of everybody in ways that I can't even manage to do in my dreams.

And when I say inclusive of everybody, usually, that extra effort goes towards making sure that people like me are included and welcomed to the group/community activities, and I really can't express how grateful I am for that. Or rather, usually, I couldn't express that because it's hard to do that verbally when you feel socially awkward, but here, I'm gonna let it rip.

So let's get into it!

I've found myself in enough social situations where I felt a bit like an outcast wallflower (which can earn you points on the internet, but not so much irl lmao), and it's the healthy ESFJ who recognizes this and decides to make the concentrated effort to help break the ice when I'm not quite sure how.

You never run out questions to ask to keep the conversation going and you always find a way to make me (and probably the other introverts) feel like we have a voice and a place at the table in any social setting. Especially when everyone else present knows each other and I'm the new person. This is such an important skill you have and I don't think you hear enough thanks from the people you help, most likely because we don't always know how best to say it.

Not to mention that you are likely the one who organized whatever event is happening, which most people take for granted. It's not easy being the one to accommodate everyone's schedules and coordinate all of the necessary components for social gatherings.

Or business gatherings! It's not all just birthday parties and baby showers with you guys; you've got serious business to get through, and all the while have to remember things like dietary restrictions, seating arrangements, appropriate time slots for all facets of the gathering. You're the one who has planned out the whole day from start to finish, hearding everyone else around, and everyone else has the luxury of going along with all of it without even noticing.

An introverted perceiver like me doesn't know the half of the hard work it takes to make these things happen!

I hope that it is as helpful to you to have me brainstorming new, potential solutions to your technical problems as it is to me when you make sure that everything is going according to plan and everyone gets the chance to comfortably and genuinely participate in all of our collaborative events.

You really do examplify everything I'd like to be better at. Maybe we should hang out more! We may not always have the most in common with our interests, but I think we could learn a lot from each other. Keep doing what you're doing ESFJs. You really are the glue that holds us all together and makes everyone feel safe!

[v-arbellanaris]

you know sometimes when im here for too long i can feel tumblr bullshit infect my brain and then i have to go do adult & functional things like my job and not be here and i can feel the brainrot that accumulated here leave me and i can like. breathe again. like i have my personal opinions about things but ultimately im literally just here to have fun and thats what 98% of my choices in the games are about - angst or whats funny or whats interesting to me. i write big metas on how bioware writes the chantry or justinia or whatever because its interesting to me and i like to break things down and figure out how/why theyve done it, because thats interesting to me. i know there's ppl in this fandom whose politics lean left but all their pc choices are pro-chantry and i have to believe that their shipping interests or game choices arent reflective of their real life politics because that has to be a truth that applies to people who ship or like things or make decisions i dont like or find morally objectionable or whatever. i dont have to interact with it, either because my time and space online are to do with how i please. i just think its very weird!!! i think everyone in this fandom is that one war criminal post abt their da favs and they literally dont even realise it. everyone has ideas about what ships are toxic, which is fine, except everyone has decided people who ship x are also toxic and disgusting and dirtybadwrong because shipping things is reflective of something irl which is really tiring. and before anyone says anything, its happening on BOTH sides of the pro-mage/pro-circle side of fandom??? so dont even start acting like anyone is superior to anyone else lmao youre all using the same tactics and getting mad when The Other Side also uses those tactics. and when i have no energy, when im out of spoons, its really exhausting to be here!!! i dont have the time or energy to feel cringe about ships or what characters i like and i think its weird when other people spend so much of their limited time online bitching about what other people are shipping or liking. but whenever im here too long i can feel myself being Perceived By Fandom and it always affects my brain so badly esp in this fandom because im SO HYPERAWARE of how prevalent & dominating the entire "liking [character/ship] means you condone [real life atrocity] and are therefore also a [chosen bigoted identifier here]" thinking is here that making a single post abt anything i like makes me want to throw up

[ruthlesslistener]

Yo man you don’t have to answer this but just wanted to say that I think it’s valid if these things makes u uncomfortable and that is fine to express that especially when its in your blog lol, your analysis and writing are one of the most intricate and interesting I have seen, sorry if sometimes I tagged your things weirdly and made u uncomfortable,, just wanted to write you to tell u are a good dude and many don’t think you are annoying //sorry if I sounded weird lmao

Tags don't bother me anon, you're okay! Feel free to tag my posts however you like. It's just getting asks that bother me, because then I have to engage with/formulate a response to them. I mean, I guess I can just delete them, but I don't really like doing that much unless I genuinely have no response I can give because that just feels rude. I do not care about tags because then there's no expectation for me to engage with them, and the only times I do is usually bc people leave fun lil comments that I want to expand on or show off because I enjoy them. Otherwise I genuinely just do not pay attention to tags

Ty for the reassurance as well- I really am just a weird autistic dude who's here because there's very few places where I can scream about my interests, so I don't really have any idea about how I'm perceived or received. I just know that I have a track record of irritating people by being flat-toned/humourless/long-winded and obsessive about topics irl, so it would track if that was the same here. That's not really a self-hatred thing, it's more just a logical thing to conclude (like how I do know that people like listening to me bc I gain followers/notes/etc!), but I have no way to vibecheck it and that can be anxiety inducing on bad days. But again, it's my blog, and the block feature exists, so...

[cruelestpoetryever]

you should listen to Taylor’s advice and calm down a little. like seriously. no one’s saying Paul is tumblr’s supposed golden boy because afaik all Beatles fans have a lot — A LOT — of criticism towards them. you probably don’t know that because whenever someone comes here with facts you just say you don’t agree with them, and you probably don’t interact in good faith with people who disagree with you.

it’s also… well… NOBODY thinks the beatles or paul are the “patron saints of emo types” lmao they’re classic rock/rock, baby, not emo or goth — although everyone is free to listen to genres outside of their perceived niche.

you talk about skeletons in his closet and we kinda already know about them, because as i said, beatles fans tend to criticize them a lot — which is something swifties don’t do very often, and the ones that do are called fake fans or whatever (i should know because i like Taylor but i do have A LOT of criticism — just like i do with basically every artist, and that’s ok, because art is supposed to make you critical! —, and i get called a fake fan for that). so yeah talk about Lennon or Ringo or Harrison… we already know, we already criticize them, we already discuss it, you don’t know because, as you said, “young people don’t know them” and i assume you’re not active in other fandoms.

also, you deleted, but when i said we can’t excuse ignorance, I didn’t say you’re stupid, i said you’re ignorant in music history (which may be a language barrier because in my native language being ignorant in something means you don’t have knowledge about that thing, not that you’re dumb or whatever)

but seriously, stop with the beatles hate, it won’t bring you peace, just the same with the emo hate and the goth hate — you judge antis so quickly, look in the mirror, go outside yourself, live your life and write your poems, follow your passion, just stop putting yourself in this position (because you chose to post about emos and goths and beatles and that’s why people are coming to your inbox) — better yet, turn off anon asks and you’ll be free from anyone that’s bothering you.

this post is in good faith btw, i really mean no hate to you because it looks like you need a break. good luck with that.

Well I just don't agree because that's not my own experiences and plus Tumblr is my break most of the time BECAUSE EVERYONE ACTS LIKE THIS WITH ME IRL TOO where everytime I say anything I get a 90 page spoken essay about why I'm actually wrong and everyone else just knows so much more than me

[away-ward]

hey, a qna 285 follow-up. I looked through the mbti type links you posted and omfg, emmy is really most likely to be INFJ ☠️ like no wonder i cannot relate to her decisions lmfao! I said this because i'm an INTJ and as soon as i can relate to her perceiving her surroundings, she does something weird that caught me off guard like huhhhh? But im not mad at her yk, she just surprised me that's all. No because unsurprisingly, as an INTJ, i can understand where she came from, but her actions, words and thoughts are always so?? 🤣🫣 But not in a i-disagree-and-hate-this-character way but in a, ok-youre-kinda-relatable-but-why-did-you-choose-decision-a-instead-of-b-thats-not-rational, because just when i thought she should do rational a decision, she did b. EMORY's character always left me confused but surprisingly i understood her decisions and wasn't mad at her at all? Ngl, i wished she bullied Will more so that she can actually lived up to his pointy-finger claims and allegations 🙄 because will is so?? Lmao, he wouldn't have survived ME that's for sure. HAHAHAHAHAHA IDK! 

As an INTJ, how i can relate or not relate to her is: i feel like emmy's almost there, but not quite in her decisions as compared to what i would actually do irl! Interesting enough i have a friend in real life who's also an INFJ, and another one who's ENFJ, and guess what KO, they're all so similar!!! Omg!!!! Hahahahaah, cute! Another two of my friends are INFPs, another one was ENFP, and only one is ISTJ, and ngl, this T type is really strict ☠️ and we only got along after a lot of dumb petty fights and heart to heart sessions, but even then we're still very stubborn. She's my most reliable friend though so theres that. Do i just attract a certain MBTI or Cognitive Funtion types or something because whaaaat? 5 N-F friends is crazy! No because if they try to confront me, theyre the ones who'll run away first and cry? Like, what? LMFAO! Thats why i said, Emmy's understandably weird, and cute. Very compassionate, helpful, sincere, and kind too. Similar to my healthy N-F-J friends. Oh, and they're very persuasive, bossy and moody alright. When theyre happy, everyone's happy, when theyre sad, oof the whole room can feel that. Whew! Only, idgaf, i wasnt always affected by that. Wow, maybe their type is just like that in general, huh? Now i'm interested to know what people of their type think of me ngl. What about you KO, can you relate to Emmy or any DN characters in any way? Idk if you've disclosed this before, and if you don't mind me asking, what's your MBTI type?

Another interesting thought, as an INTJ, reading about a possible INFJ, Emory, her pov actually didnt make me feel like she put me through a wringer as much, but then maybe because i'm also almost similar to her? Intense, thats what we are. And very unyielding. Our perceiving functions, Ni and Se are the same, but our deciding functions that decide the way we make decisions are very different, hers being Fe and Ti, while mine being Te and Fi, hence why i can understand the things that she went through, i just cant relate to her actions in general, but still find her caharcter fascinating and amusing to read about. And my friends in life are also pretty intense and the insightful type? So Idk, i get this a lot so maybe because it's our kind of normal, thats why nightfall was quite a breeze read to me. I knew of people who read nightfall and cried themselves to tears, but icant lie, i never experienced that. Onky through booktok and booktwt that i knew how many of them reacted very strongly to this book. Interesting! This made me wonder, what were the readers of nightfall's cognitive functions or MBTIs' to be having them reacting the way they reacted with the text. 

When readers say they felt then cried so much for Emmy, i was shocked, and even more shock when they said they felt more sorry for will, because i wasnt sorry for him, almost, at ALL. Sure, i can see what emmy went through, but i don't have that strong emorions as others, my reactions were pretty similar to Emmy, especially when she doesnt look like she was feeling much even though her brain and heart was processing or going through a lot? Again, Similar, yet so different. Other than that, I thought what happened to Will was less sympathetic or empathetic to me because they are usually, 1. Consequences of his own bad decisions, and 2. Because he chose the wrong crowd to be around. It always lead back to him at some point, but he never seem to acknowledge that until noghtfall. But then that was the reason he liked emmy so much, and it couldnt be anyone else. Idk, if i was Will, no matter what background or how privileged i have or was, cognitively, i dont think i would ever feel as comfortable as him to be putting blame on everyone and everything about my life without admitting my wrongs. 

but then my INTJ type is also known for that; Being Accountable and responsible for my own stuff, but i do lack sensitivity when it comes to things like this, so maybe that's why i never bought Will's bullshit, because what he said he did didnt match up with what he actually did. I'm sure his brothers grew up happy too, but they were never labelled as coddled or spoiled or irresponsible so there's only so mich of wealth and privilege that he can hide behind before it shows his true personality that he needed to fix. even though i can understand where he came from, i still dont agree with will most of the time. In fact, i dont like flaky people like him irl. Maybe thats why his character annoys me very much. Maybe my opinion is also an outlier because my personality type is not even a common type, hence my opnion can be unpopular. So many maybes! I said unpopular because As much as there's a lot of criticism about Will or even damon on your account KO (and even booktwt), we're actually the outlier, we're probably the only group who thought this way, because if you check goodreads and storygraph, there were more criticisms of Emmy than Will, and even Damon 🫠 

I heard when Nightfall was released, so many people were against Emmy in PD's FB group and goodreads, and they wished Will ended up with Alex, and at first i thought it was joke, but when i filter through Goodreads reviews to the oldest, wow, it's really true! And i was not only shocked, but was sad about it because she's my favourite FMC in the whole series! I noticed that Emmy had only been slowly gaining fans a year after her character was published, and after she got promoted positively on social media by other Emory fans and promotion of fan edits on booktok. This might be the first time i feel like social media did my fav char justice, LOL! i wished i was there in 2020-2021 PD's FB group so i can see all nightfall criticims unfold LIVE myself. So when PD said that maybe their fans (possibly they made a conclusion based on the response in their FB group) didnt like when they wrote characters like Emmy or Aro, i believe them because we're actually in the minorities unfortunately. Not pnly in minorities, it took time for the emory fans before us to put the work for others to hear about how amazing she was. And Sure, the ones who like emmy are very loud now, but if we do a poll, Winter and Rika then and even now are still in the #1 and #2 spots everywhere. Side note, Even stans on twitter believe that Will's only fault was he loved too much... like bad Will in corrupt, hideaway and kill switch didnt exist? idk, i thought this opinion of theirs on him was dumb, because it dismiss his characterisation of being more accountable and responsible in his present and future, as compared to his embarrasing past mistakes, but hey, it's a fan space, anybody can think whatever they want. I just dont have to agree and engage with them. 

anyway, coming back to me saying reading nightfall felt like a breeze, when all that shit happened in blackchurch, in the train and even afterwords, my face and feeling was like 😠😕😟😶🥰😶😶😶❓❔ not 🤢🤮🥰😘😍🥺😢😫😖😣🤯🤬😡😰😱😨🫣😓🤥🫠🫨🥱😪🤤😵😵‍💫🤐🤮🤢🥴😷🤒🤠👹👹👹💩💩🤡☠️ you know what i mean. My feelings were pretty tame actually. I guess i did feel a lot and intensely, but not as variant and reactively like other readers? Because i feel that was how my reaction was vs others. And i think i'm pretty level-headed too, because a lot of things that people hate or were mad about nightfall (and theyre valid things to be mad about), i'm mostly indifferent about them. To me, the past is the past, and even though there are some things i wished were not there in nightfall, ultimately, idgaf anymore, and the greater good is more important. People evolve, and because of emmy, she made me ship will with her, and my willemmy shipper heart would always root for their happiness and what they want, even though i believe will needed some kicks in his ass still. But if he said he would improve and if emmy already believed that he will be on that path, and that path is the best for them, i'm chill. 

And even if i did have a strong opinion before, i just believe what i want to believe now and have fun with the books and the fandom. Even if i dont participate, i like to observe fans interactions. The only thing that made me angry recently are usually PDs rsponse to the fandom, epecially to willemmy. I might have gone through some thinking about them too, but ultimately, my experience is my space, so, i either dgaf or care enough to respond to them or i'll ponder but then move on pretty quickly after. My stance made me feel like the experience of watching the interactions of this fandom so interesting because you all are such passionate people, and it reminds me of why i love being in a fandom and being a fan of literature. Might be because i'm an INTJ. I dont believe in MBTI and Cogn Fxs to a T but i can see even clearly now how it shaped how i consume and react to literature and what i like and dislike about them. Pretty fun and insightful! Ugghhh! I love discussions, so thank you KO for mobilising it here 😊 Thank you too for your fanfics that you wrote during your free time, and other things you came up with to make the fandom experience more fun and discursive here!

Hey!!

I looked through the mbti type links you posted and omfg, emmy is really most likely to be INFJ

I’m so happy at least one person checked them out and that I’m not completely off about Emmy. The most confusing thing for me going through the characters was that Kai and Emmy both came out as INFJs. Obviously every individual is going to present differently, and I do think both are different levels of unhealthy, but it still gave me a lot of pause. I might have to revisit Kai eventually (or hope someone who has read more on him and understand better will do it for me…).

i can understand where she came from, but her actions, words and thoughts are always so?? 🤣🫣 But not in a i-disagree-and-hate-this-character way but in a, ok-youre-kinda-relatable-but-why-did-you-choose-decision-a-instead-of-b-thats-not-rational

Same. I loved her character from the start, but it took me a few read throughs, and seeing thoughts from others, to see the different layers of her character, and even wrap my head around some of her decisions. There are, of course, some things I will never understand or agree with from Emory, but I’m not expected to, so it’s no big deal.

Ngl, i wished she bullied Will more so that she can actually lived up to his pointy-finger claims and allegations

I think I would have loved some more banter from them in the present; something that wasn’t layered in years of misunderstanding and secrets, that showed how they’re going to be together once all that is resolved. The little bit in the epilogue was a small sample, but I wanted a feast. But one of my main headcanons for Willemmy is that he cannot let his guard down around her, because the second she catches him slipping, there’s no holding back. What, did he think she was going to be nice just because he put a ring on it? Boy has to be ready for any verbal, sparing because she’s always ready to call him out on his bs.

What about you KO, can you relate to Emmy or any DN characters in any way? Idk if you've disclosed this before, and if you don't mind me asking, what's your MBTI type?

Your friend group sounds really cute! In some ways, I can relate to Emory. I feel like we’re both people watchers/observers. I can sit for hours and watch people just live, or even when I’m out with my friends, after a while, I’ll sit back and just watch and listen, with not much to say. It’s not that I’m not interested in what’s going on, I just like…observing. The difference might be that I’m content doing that because I’m charmed by the life happening around me, while Emmy sometimes felt like she was missing out, and left on the outside looking in. Either way, we've both got some fly-on-the-wall tendancies.

At the same time, both Emmy and I get lost in our own thoughts and ideas. When I was searching for Emmy’s MBTI and read the first line for INFJ, for some reason Emmy during homecoming night came to mind; when her and Will are on the ride, and she has the idea for a tree of chandeliers. She’s got one night of freedom with a boy who she really likes and who really, really likes her…and she can’t help but think about future projects. Because that’s how inspiration works when you’re a creative person. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing, when it strikes, it consumes every thought. I can relate on that level. I felt so very seen in that scene. And I was especially swoony when she turned to tell Will her idea, and he was already looking at her, completely captivated by the look of wonderment and excitement at her idea that I imagine was on her face. That’s the dream. And it influences my willemmy greatly, because it tells me no matter what, Will is always going to support and be in awe of Emmy when she’s creating. Now that she’s got all the freedom to do that, it’s going to be a constant thing.

I believe I may have mentioned my MBTI type in the first MBTI post, but if I didn’t, I’m an INFP. However, all of my biggest influences in life have been TJs, so that does affect the way I go about doing things.

i just cant relate to her actions in general, but still find her caharcter fascinating and amusing to read about.

I mean… I wouldn’t make the same decisions as any of these characters. They and the situation they find themselves in are so over the top. That being said, even from a writer’s perspective, I would have taken the story and characters in different directions than PD. That might be one of the reasons I can’t bring myself to completely close the book on this, though. It’s so very different from what I would do, and sometimes it’s nice to be completely taken off the course you would naturally choose.

I knew of people who read nightfall and cried themselves to tears, but icant lie, i never experienced that. Onky through booktok and booktwt that i knew how many of them reacted very strongly to this book.

I get curious about people who had strong reactions as well. I assume it’s the moments of Emory’s abuse, but not to seem callous, they seemed very typical to me. I wasn’t ever overwhelmed with emotions reading any of the books. It’s not that I didn’t feel bad for what the characters were going through, because I did. I just… never needed to put the book down and process like I have with others.

i was Will, no matter what background or how privileged i have or was, cognitively, i dont think i would ever feel as comfortable as him to be putting blame on everyone and everything about my life without admitting my wrongs.

Will’s lack of accountability is definitely one of his main flaws throughout the series. It contrasts Kai’s crushing guilt over everything so well though. And I understand fully how people don’t feel sympathy for Will’s situation. He got himself there on his own. Even though Emmy signed that letter, he was long out of prison with a life set up for him that he nearly threw away just because he couldn’t not be Sad Boi #2 (of course, Damon gets first place because what else would we expect).

However, I loved high school Will and despite all common sense, will still feel for what happened to him, and those feelings have influenced my opinions on his story greatly. What can you do?

but i do lack sensitivity when it comes to things like this, so maybe that's why i never bought Will's bullshit, because what he said he did didnt match up with what he actually did. I'm sure his brothers grew up happy too, but they were never labelled as coddled or spoiled or irresponsible so there's only so mich of wealth and privilege that he can hide behind before it shows his true personality that he needed to fix.

It’s interesting that you bring up his brothers, because for me a big part of this series is that there’s something about this group people that doesn’t fit in with society as a whole, and that’s why they’re drawn together. The series speaks of the boys “finding” each other, as if they were searching for something they didn’t know they needed. I think Kai represents this the most because he tried so hard to hide it for so long. He also struggles with “its” existence, not because he doesn’t like it, but because he knows his parents won’t, and out of everyone, he respects them the most.

Anyway, all this is to say, Will’s brothers most likely don’t think or act like him. They don't hear the call of the void like he does. Unless my feelings about Thunder Bay are true, and there’s something in the water.

And while you may not be sensitive to some things, Will is, and it’s one of his main traits. Being sensitive also puts you at risk for getting hurt, which Will does frequently. Get hurt, I mean. But he still makes himself vulnerable, because that’s who he is. I think Will is aware that at some point, he can’t hide behind his privilege anymore. One of the reasons he went to Blackchurch – which was his idea from the start – was to put in the work where he’d only coasted before. Still, the whole thing was a mess after Emmy got there.

Maybe thats why his character annoys me very much. Maybe my opinion is also an outlier

Maybe out of the whole fandom, your opinion might be considered unpopular, but for those here, I think you’re right at home. More than a few have expressed the same thoughts. And isn’t that the point of fandom – to find people who will tolerate your wonky and out of the box opinions without trying to shame you?

Even though I sometimes act as though Will’s just a smol bean who never did anything wrong, I know he’s a highly flawed character with huge logical fallacies that annoy me to no end. Fangirling is a spectrum that I ride like a roller coaster.

As much as there's a lot of criticism about Will or even damon on your account KO (and even booktwt), we're actually the outlier, we're probably the only group who thought this way, because if you check goodreads and storygraph, there were more criticisms of Emmy than Will, and even Damon

I could not believe how much criticism was thrown at Emmy when I first read NF! And all of it because she was mean to Will? He was so nice blah, blah, blah, how could she not love him? Wah, wah, wah,

Helllllo? Did you not see what she was going through?

Did you not see the nine-year gap between them seeing each other; a gap neither did anything to close?

I just couldn’t process any of the Emory hatred. I’m better now. I don’t get it by any means. Let her be defensive; she’s earned her claws and fangs and anger. That’s for Will and Emmy to work out. He doesn’t need you, the reader, coming to his defenses. He still loves her because she’s so difficult -

*deep breath* But I’m better now. I was not at all surprised by how many people loved Will and Damon. And we all know why.

I heard when Nightfall was released, so many people were against Emmy in PD's FB group and goodreads, and they wished Will ended up with Alex, and at first i thought it was joke, but when i filter through Goodreads reviews to the oldest, wow, it's really true!

I saw the goodreads reviews, and thought I was going to be in the minority of Emmy lovers (hence my bio). But I’ve also heard the opposite – that there were a lot of people who hated it because PD included so much of Alex and not enough of Emmy. I think it’s probably split evenly. And then PD says it’s the fandom’s fault of putting the girls at odds with each other. Please just admit the story could have been written differently to avoid this, and we’ll all go home, I swear. PD doesn’t even have to say they would do it differently. I’ll be fine if they just admit that it’s not our fault there’s an Alex camp and an Emory camp, the two can’t cross enemy lines.

if we do a poll, Winter and Rika then and even now are still in the #1 and #2 spots everywhere.

This is so funny because while I believe it’s true, but any time I do a poll here, Emmy is always the winner/in the winning group. It’s especially true when I was playing the voting game. It didn’t seem to matter what group Emmy was in, that’s the one people wanted to be in.

Even stans on twitter believe that Will's only fault was he loved too much... like bad Will in corrupt, hideaway and kill switch didnt exist? idk, i thought this opinion of theirs on him was dumb, because it dismiss his characterisation of being more accountable and responsible in his present and future

Very true. If Will accepts that he made mistakes that were not just “I loved her too much” then…that’s what happened?

He messed up. He’s not a perfect and wholly good, sweet little angel boy that did not wrong but care too much. It’s okay to admit that he was immature and careless and blinded by privilege and pride (I’m not going to touch on the criminal things because as readers, we’re supposed to find those things cool and hot, so…).

It's okay to admit that his character changed! That’s what a character is supposed to do.

it's a fan space, anybody can think whatever they want. I just dont have to agree and engage with them.

Honestly, the best fandom rule you can have for yourself. I highly recommend it. And thank you for saying it.

a lot of things that people hate or were mad about nightfall (and theyre valid things to be mad about), i'm mostly indifferent about them. To me, the past is the past, and even though there are some things i wished were not there in nightfall, ultimately, idgaf anymore, and the greater good is more important. People evolve, and because of emmy, she made me ship will with her, and my willemmy shipper heart would always root for their happiness and what they want, even though i believe will needed some kicks in his ass still. But if he said he would improve and if emmy already believed that he will be on that path, and that path is the best for them, i'm chill.

Just... this whole paragraph. I was mad about the lack of Emmy when I finished NF. And I have my moments now, of course, when I’m thinking about something specific and putting pieces together that I might get upset about a realization or something. Realizing a character did something out of line, or seeing yet another plot hole…

But this has never ruined my day. I’ve never been unable to move on or talk about something else with my friends. It’s just interesting to me.

Anyway, willemmy will always be happy to me. That’s just how it is. We can go back and forth over whether Will "deserves" it but I just don't really care if he "deserves" it or not. I'm happier this way.

i just believe what i want to believe now and have fun with the books and the fandom. Even if i dont participate, i like to observe fans interactions... because you all are such passionate people, and it reminds me of why i love being in a fandom and being a fan of literature.

This is it! This is the reason being in fandom is so interesting. It’s a hobby, and it should just be a fun time to sit and chat about things that don’t really matter with people who also like the same things. I mean, I know hobbies have different levels of intensity, but this really should just be chill.

I also think of MBTI as more of a party game than anything else. It’s fun to sit around and ask those questions and discuss your results. It doesn’t really mean anything more than that.

I love discussions, so thank you KO for mobilising it here 😊 Thank you too for your fanfics that you wrote during your free time, and other things you came up with to make the fandom experience more fun and discursive here!

You’re so very welcome! But a bigger thank you goes to you and everyone else who has ever submitted an ask or message. Honestly, this blog would be nothing without them.

-KO

[goofyguppy]

recently I've been thinking about how like, it's pretty hard to describe my sexual orientation and gender

(long ruminating post under the cut lol)

gender wise I either feel neutral or masculine, so I feel like demiboy fits, but im also afab so i identify with being transmasc too

in terms of attraction, i have a LOT of platonic love for my friends, i love them so much. platonic love comes as naturally as breathing to me, i want to bond and know all of my friends deeply, i want to form strong attachments and feel really close to people even though its really hard to do that sometimes. but, that platonic love rarely ever becomes romantic love. doesn't matter how much I know someone, romantic feelings just don't happen often for me. sexual feelings are even rarer, AND i have to know someone really well first before sexual feelings can even happen. developing a romantic attraction also doesn't guarantee a sexual attraction will develop, it just has to happen first for there to even be a chance it will. its like a chance game on neopets, you have to win the first 1/1,000,000 chance roll for romance to even have a shot at the second 1/1,000,000 chance roll for sex lmao.

when romantic and sexual feelings for someone do happen though, gender isn't a determining factor. my love for every person ive ever loved has felt different but not because of their gender(s). so that means: demiromantic, demisexual, and pansexual

but how do you tell someone - especially irl - you're transmasc, demiboy, demiromantic, demisexual and pansexual, i mean that's so many words and im already really bad at talking to people, its easier to just say im queer, but im also really careful not to apply that label to other people unless i know they're ok with it, especially since i live in the south us

(and dont get me started on trying to explain and be included in conversations about experiencing life as a woman, since i didn't transition until i was in my mid 20s, so being seen and treated as a woman has been most of my life. like, i want to talk about how its been for me as a fem person whose entire career has been in tech and how that has affected me and affects fem people in such negative ways, but if it were up to me i wouldn't even be perceived as a fem person. but, i still am because i don't pass and can't come out at work, so that's still my experience interacting with everyone who doesn't know me personally outside work. i usually try to speak up in conversations about this anyway even though sometimes i don't feel welcome being part of the conversation bc of how i identify now.)

idk. it makes me feel really, really lucky that im married and my spouse and I have such a close and loving relationship and they understand me so intimately. i almost lost them to cancer a few years ago. i don't like to think about this at all, but i know 100% that if i lost them i would just be alone for the rest of my life.