#Progesterone testing

[agapemastiffs]

A Comprehensive Guide to Progesterone Testing Machines

For devoted pet parents and animal breeders alike, the world of animal reproduction can be a fascinating, yet sometimes frustrating, journey. Understanding a pet's reproductive cycle is crucial for responsible breeding practices and timely veterinary intervention when necessary. 

Enter the realm of progesterone testing machines –  instruments that shine a light on the hormonal fluctuations within our furry companions, offering valuable insights into their reproductive health.  Whether you're a seasoned breeder or a curious pet owner, this comprehensive guide will equip you with the knowledge to navigate the world of progesterone testing machines.

Demystifying Progesterone:  The Hormone at the Heart of Reproduction

Progesterone is a vital hormone present in both female humans and animals.  During the reproductive cycle, progesterone plays a key role in preparing the uterus for pregnancy.  Its levels fluctuate significantly throughout the cycle, rising after ovulation and remaining high during pregnancy.  By monitoring these fluctuations, progesterone testing machines empower pet owners and breeders to gain valuable insights into:

Optimal Breeding Time:  Identifying the surge in progesterone levels after ovulation helps pinpoint the most fertile window for breeding, maximizing the chances of successful conception.  This information is especially valuable for breeders aiming for planned litters.

Detecting Pregnancy:  Elevated progesterone levels can be an indicator of pregnancy in some animals.  However, it's important to note that progesterone levels can be elevated due to other factors like certain medications or health conditions.  Veterinary confirmation through additional tests like ultrasounds is recommended for definitive pregnancy diagnosis.

Monitoring False Pregnancies:  False pregnancies, also known as pseudopregnancies, can occur in some animals after a heat cycle without actual conception.  Progesterone testing can help differentiate a true pregnancy from a false one by revealing the presence or absence of a sustained progesterone elevation.

Assessing Luteal Phase Defects:  The luteal phase is the period after ovulation when progesterone levels rise. Luteal phase defects occur when progesterone levels are insufficient to support a healthy pregnancy.  Progesterone testing can aid in identifying potential luteal phase defects, allowing for informed veterinary intervention if necessary.

Navigating the Maze:  Types of Progesterone Testing Machines

The world of progesterone testing machines offers a variety of options, each catering to specific needs and preferences.  Here's a breakdown of the most common types:

Chemiluminescence Immunoassay (CLIA) Analyzers:  These high-precision machines utilize a complex chemical reaction to measure progesterone levels in a blood sample.  CLIA analyzers offer the highest level of accuracy but often come with a heftier price tag and require veterinary expertise to operate.

Fluorescence Immunoassay (FIA) Analyzers:  Similar to CLIA analyzers, FIA machines use an antigen-antibody reaction to measure progesterone levels.  However, FIA analyzers are generally less expensive and more user-friendly, making them a popular option for some breeders and animal hospitals.

Immunofluorescence Quantitative Analyzers:  These portable machines offer a convenient and relatively affordable way to measure progesterone levels.  They utilize an antibody-based test strip that reacts with a blood sample, emitting light that can be quantified to determine progesterone concentration.  While accuracy may not be as high as CLIA or FIA analyzers, they provide a quick and easy way to get a general idea of progesterone levels.

Rapid Quantitative Progesterone Test Kits:  These kits often involve a simple finger prick blood collection and a test card that reacts with the blood, displaying results within minutes.  While convenient and readily available, these kits typically offer the least precise measurements and should be used for preliminary testing or alongside other methods for confirmation.

Choosing the Right Machine:  Factors to Consider

Selecting the most suitable progesterone testing machine depends on several factors:

Accuracy Needs:  For critical decisions like breeding or veterinary diagnosis, high-accuracy machines like CLIA analyzers might be preferred.  For general monitoring purposes, a less precise but user-friendly option might suffice.

Ease of Use:  Consider your experience level and comfort with technical equipment.  Some machines require specific training or veterinary expertise to operate, while others offer user-friendly interfaces suitable for home use.

Cost:  Progesterone testing machines range in price from affordable rapid test kits to high-end CLIA analyzers.  Determine your budget and prioritize features that align with your needs.

Portability:  If you require a machine for testing at breeding sites or animal shows, portability might be a crucial factor.  Consider the size and weight of the machine and its power source.

Beyond the Machine:  The Testing Process Explained

Once you've selected your progesterone testing machine, understanding the testing process is key. Here's a general overview:

Sample Collection:  Blood collection is the most common method for progesterone testing. A veterinarian can perform a blood draw, or some home test kits might utilize finger prick blood collection methods.  Always follow the specific instructions provided with your chosen machine.

Sample Preparation:  Depending on the machine, some level of sample preparation might be required.  This could involve diluting the blood sample with a designated solution or transferring a specific amount of blood to a test strip or cartridge.

Running the Test:  Follow the manufacturer's instructions for operating your specific machine.  This might involve inserting a test cartridge, initiating a test cycle, or waiting for a specific timeframe for the reaction to occur.

Interpreting Results:  The results will be displayed on the machine's screen or test strip readout.  Some machines offer a numerical value for progesterone concentration, while others might utilize color-coded indicators.  Always consult the user manual for proper interpretation of the results.

A Word of Caution: Limitations of Progesterone Testing

Progesterone testing machines are valuable tools, but it's important to understand their limitations.  Here are some points to consider:

Not a Diagnostic Tool:  Elevated progesterone levels can be caused by factors other than pregnancy.  Always consult your veterinarian for a definitive diagnosis, especially if breeding is not the intended outcome.

Accuracy Variations:  The accuracy of progesterone testing machines can vary depending on the type of machine and user technique.  For critical decisions, consider consulting a veterinarian for testing with high-precision machines.

Interpretation Expertise:  Interpreting progesterone results, especially in relation to optimal breeding times or potential health concerns, requires some level of knowledge about animal reproduction cycles and potential hormonal fluctuations.

Progesterone Testing for a Purpose: Responsible Breeding Practices

For breeders striving for healthy litters and responsible breeding practices, progesterone testing machines can be invaluable allies.  By monitoring progesterone levels, breeders can:

Identify the Fertile Window:  Pinpointing the optimal breeding time based on the progesterone surge after ovulation maximizes the chances of successful conception, reducing the need for unnecessary breedings.

Minimize Stress:  Repeated breedings outside the fertile window can be stressful for both the breeding animals and the breeder.  Progesterone testing helps target breeding attempts when the female is most receptive.

Promote Healthy Litters:  Understanding the hormonal fluctuations throughout the reproductive cycle allows breeders to make informed decisions about breeding practices that promote healthy pregnancies and deliveries.

Beyond Breeding:  Progesterone Testing for Overall Health

While commonly associated with breeding, progesterone testing machines can also play a role in monitoring a pet's overall health. Here are some examples:

Diagnosing Reproductive Issues:  Elevated progesterone levels outside of breeding cycles can indicate potential health problems like ovarian cysts or tumors.  Veterinarians can utilize progesterone testing alongside other diagnostic tools to identify and address underlying issues.

Monitoring False Pregnancies:  Progesterone testing can help differentiate a true pregnancy from a false pregnancy, allowing for appropriate veterinary intervention if necessary.

Evaluating Luteal Phase Defects:  Identifying insufficient progesterone levels during the luteal phase can help veterinarians diagnose luteal phase defects and recommend treatment options to improve pregnancy success rates.

The Future of Progesterone Testing:  Advancements and Accessibility

The world of progesterone testing is constantly evolving.  Here's a glimpse into what the future might hold:

Increased User-Friendliness:  Machine developers are continuously striving to create even more user-friendly and portable progesterone testing machines, making them more accessible for home use by pet owners and breeders.

Rapid and Accurate Results:  Advancements in technology might lead to even faster and more accurate progesterone testing machines, providing real-time results for breeders and veterinarians.

Integration with Breeding Management Systems:  Future progesterone testing machines might integrate seamlessly with breeding management software, allowing for easier data tracking and record-keeping for breeders.

The Final Verdict:  Progesterone Testing Machines – A Valuable Tool

Progesterone testing machines empower pet owners, breeders, and veterinarians with valuable insights into the hormonal fluctuations within animals.  By understanding the different types of machines, the testing process, and the limitations, you can leverage this technology to make informed decisions about breeding practices, monitor your pet's overall health, and ultimately, contribute to the well-being of your furry companions.  Remember, responsible pet ownership and breeding practices go hand-in-hand.  When used thoughtfully and in conjunction with veterinary guidance, progesterone testing machines can be a valuable tool in your pet care arsenal.

A Watchful Protector: For The Progression Of The Ages

Mastiffs, gentle giants with ancient roots, come in various breeds. Loyal guardians with calm temperaments, they require ample space, training, and experienced owners due to their size and strength. Though some breeds have wrinkles, all Mastiffs offer a lifetime of devotion.

[intriga-hounds]

between going back to work and ponzu babies i already can’t sleep, but the dogs all conspired to get me up at different times to potty even though they’ve been fine thru the night most of this past week. 😭

[bredforloyalty]

can somebody who has too much hope and joy transfuse some of it directly into me

[whentherewerebicycles]

wedding was wonderful but I’m very happy to be curled up in bed with the dogs now listening to the rain and finishing a novel. I give myself full permission to be a hermit all afternoon and then I think I’ll hang out and cook with my sister tonight. tomorrow I get bloodwork done in the morning and then will probably have a busy social day with liz + sam which is good as it’ll prevent me from being glued to my phone waiting for the results. at this point I don’t even know how to feel. I’ve read enough journal articles and forum posts to know that the odds are against me but that there is a small chance I’ll be one of the lucky ones whose body just follows a different course than your average pregnancy. I’m expecting to learn that I’m going to miscarry but obviously hoping against hope that I don’t… and also hoping, in a more clear-eyed realist sort of way, that if it has to happen it’s via miscarriage rather than an ectopic pregnancy, and that the process itself doesn’t take too long (so I can start again this summer instead of having to wait weeks or months). but ah well—I need to settle back into waiting mode, as I probably won’t get the test results back until tuesday morning and can’t change anything or make anything happen by obsessively googling in the meantime.

[faelyn42]

Yo my liver is fucking pristine

[mariasont]

They Think I'm Pregnant - A.H

a/n: i feel like this is kind of shitty but alas here we are!

masterlist

pairings: aaron hotchner x fem!reader

summary: the team thinks you're pregnant and you decide to have a little fun with it

warnings: reader is not preggers promise!, honestly the team gossiping is so lol, suggestive content per usual

wc: 1.3k

"I mean she has been kind of moody lately."

The gasp that rose in your surprise was quickly smothered as you pressed yourself against the wall, pushing into it as if that would make you invisible somehow.

"Well, interestingly enough, there has been considerable growth in her chest area. It's due to elevated levels of estrogen and progesterone, which I've noticed with her." Spencer stopped abruptly, the sound of Morgan's muffled laughter in the background. "I'm not saying I make a habit of such observations. Okay, um, don't tell Hotch I said that."

Casting a skeptical eye down your shirt, your frown deepened. Sure, your boobs had grown, but that was a testament to a little happy relationship weight, not the fodder of their theories. 

"Nice one, kid," came Rossi's voice, and you could almost see the smirk on his face.

"Oh my gosh, guys, this is like, the best news ever! A mini-agent in the making! Can you imagine how cute she's going to be? I'm going to get her the cutest  outfits!"

"Garcia, how do you know it's going to be a girl? Did the baby send you a text?"

The baby? Was rational thought absent among them? It must be. You crossed your arms defensively.

"Okay, maybe we should pump the breaks everyone. Why do we even think she's pregnant in the first place?"

JJ—your voice of reason. You could kiss the ground she walked on.

"I'm just putting two and two together. She walked out, and there was a pregnancy test in the trash that wasn't there before."

Your eyebrows drew down, and the increasing shuffle from the room prompted you to make a beeline for Hotch's office before anyone saw you snooping. But in your defense, Emily snooped first.

The moment the door clicked shut, you lunged for the blinds, bypassing any attempt at a greeting with Aaron. The blinds clattered shut, so fast you nearly gave yourself whiplash.

"Honey, what are you—?"

His words hung unfinished as you whirled around, pressing your pointer finger to your lips as if he were a kindergartner about to walk down the hall.

"They think I'm pregnant!" you hissed indignantly, jabbing a finger toward the door as if it were a portal to the rumor mill itself.

His face drained of color as his eyes darted from your face, down to your stomach, and finally rested on your tits. "Are you?"

You slapped his shoulder. "No!"

"Then why do they think that?"

You recounted every piece of evidence  they had collected, giving special attention to Spencer's bodily hypothesis as a subtle form of retaliation.

"He said what?"

You laughed, draping your arms around his neck as you made yourself at home on his lap. He leaned back in his chair, arranging you so your legs were stretched out across his lap.

"Focus," you said desperately. "They think I'm pregnant."

"Sweetheart," he chuckled, his hands finding their way to your waist. "Does it really matter what they're assuming?"

Your lower lip jutted out, fingers threading through your hair as you mulled it over.

"You're a genius." Your arms were around him in an instant once again, leaving a big, messy kiss on his cheek as you hopped down from his lap and strode towards the door.

Who cares if that's what they think?

So, you devoted your day to your greatest talent: stirring the pot. If they were set on believing you were pregnant, why should you interfere? Better yet, why not enjoy their theories and have some fun along the way?

You pulled every trick in the book.

In the morning, you bolted from the briefing room with a hand clamped over your mouth, you later reappeared, ginger ale and crackers in tow--which you knew JJ would understand. No one said a word.

In the afternoon, you turned up your nose when Emily offered you coffee, which in turn caused her eyes to bulge out of her head, but still she said nothing.

In the evening, you staged a sudden craving for the strangest of snacks, convincing Spencer of your dire need for pickles dipped in peanut butter. You sent him on a wild goose chase for it, and he did it, no questions asked.

All of these, as some would say--childish antics, lead to a big pile of nothing because no one was brave enough to just ask you.

So now that you were all gathered around Rossi's living room, with the day's efforts in vain, you were forced to drastic measures. 

The wine glass was mere inches from your lips when the whole lot of them were up in arms--a blabbering, spiraling mess.

Garcia, her mouth a perfect 'o' of scandalized red, was quick to wrestle it from your grasp, hoisting it just beyond reach as Morgan promptly confiscated it, placing it atop the tallest bookshelf, as if you were a child meddling with contraband.

"What are you thinking?"

"Are you crazy?"

"What are you doing?"

"Hotch, do you see this?"

Their words bombarded you all at once, a rapid-fire of overlapping sentences that was impossible to decipher. A giggle escaped you, hand instinctively rising to your lips. Sure, you had braced for a reaction, but this was beyond anything you had imagined.

You played dumb, your head canting to one side as your brows contracted. "What?"

You basked in Aaron's exasperated eye roll, his hands coming together as if in prayer while he let you revel in the moment. He was a good man.

"What do you mean what? I love you so much, but you have to be out of your mind," Garcia probed, her hands clutching on to her necklace as she looked side to side at the others.

You opened your mouth, ready to provoke her further, but Spencer beat you to it.

"Given the potential impact on blood volume and plasma osmolality, it's really not advised to drink alcohol, considering your condition," he said, fidgeting with his tie while nodding to your belly.

"What condition?"

"Oh, come on! We found your pregnancy test in the trash today!" This time it was Emily speaking, her hands on her hips as she gave you a knowing glance. She quickly muffled her exclamation. "Hold on, you've told Hotch, right? If not, I'm prepared to get on my hands and knees and beg for your forgiveness if necessary."

"You all are ridiculous!" you declared, rising from the couch and moving toward your abandoned wine. Aaron was quicker, offering the glass to you. "I'm not pregnant, and if you nosy nellies had bothered to ask rather than speculate, you'd know that.”

You took a large gulp of your wine. For emphasis. Your colleagues' mouth hung agape, all but Rossi, who smirked and toasted to the absurdity with his whiskey.

"You heard us?"

"Reid, let's just say, I'd appreciate if you would reserve those observational talents for the case files, not on my girlfriend's anatomy," Hotch suggested, the warmth of his hand seeping through the fabric at your back as he casually sipped his scotch.

You watched Reid's complexion turn a spectrum of pink hues, his apology barely above a whisper as laughter bubbled around us. 

"Wait so then whose pregnancy test did I find?" Emily's words caused a collective breath to catch, glances shifting suspiciously around the room.

JJ's hand shot up, laughing as Garcia barreled into her side, arms wrapping around her before she could even get the admittance out. The room buzzed with congratulatory cheers, everyone sharing hugs and kisses as JJ told the story.

Aaron chose that instant to lift his hand to his neck, his lips meeting yours in a kiss so gentle it turned your insides to jelly. He eased back, his breath mingling with yours as he mumbled, "you know, the idea of you pregnant...it's not something I'm opposed to."

You let out a soft giggle, nestling your head against his chest, the steady beat of his heart bleeding into your ear. Your gaze drifted to your friends, toasting with raised glasses--minus JJ--with laughter and chatter filling the air.

"Is that so? Cravings, mood, boobs and all?"

You felt the rumble of his chuckle through his chest, the sensation tingling against your cheek. "All of it."

Rising onto your toes, you reached up to cradle his ear, lips grazing lightly against it. "How about we head home and practice? And then if you put a ring on it, I’ll consider it.”

That was the first time you had Irish goodbye-d a party.

[myownwholewildworld]

what do we think about jackson!joel miller x make up sex? 👀

no because you REALLY had me thinking here, nonnie... fffffuck 😮‍💨 i was chewing my fist while writing this, i swear asdfghjkñ i hope you like it!! <3 thank you so much for sending this in!

old man!joel miller collection masterlist

tw/tags: 18+, mdni. pwp/filthy smut. breeding & pregnancy kink. public sex (someone sees you two fucking, oops). joel is a bit rough but he's trying to discipline you and fuck the anger out of you. makeup sex. creampie. implied age gap. some fluff at the end <3 reader is female but not described apart from wearing a sundress.

Joel was really testing your patience today. First, you had woken up to an empty bed, sheets cold with his absence. Not the best start to your day when you liked cuddling up in the morning, maybe getting him to bring you to a state of ecstasy so you would feel relaxed for the rest of the day. When you had gathered the strength to roll out of bed, you had tripped with his boots—mind you, they were neatly tucked away next to his nightstand, but they were still in the way.

With sleepy eyes, you had gotten to the bathroom, sat down on the toilet and almost fell into the bowl because he had left the seat up.

By that point you were fuming, so when you sauntered downstairs to the kitchen and found out the coffee had run out, you were about to fucking lose it.

Perhaps your levels of oestrogen and progesterone were fluctuating a bit too much, your mood swinging within a matter of minutes. But regardless of that, you found these little things annoying. Luckily Joel had already left for patrol, otherwise you’d have bit his head off and spat it out.

Once he had come back, you gave him the cold shoulder—not consciously, you were just not in the mood to socialise. And when you felt so edgy, it was better to be left alone. But Joel, being himself, would not let you be. He’d asked you a few times now what was wrong, but you had only shrugged, muttering a “nothing, m’just tired.”

Obviously, he hadn’t bought it. The fact that he was so attuned to you, so in sync with your body language, was both a blessing and a curse. Most of the time you didn’t need to voice what you wanted, because Joel was already on it before you opened your mouth.

Today though it was definitely a curse.

You both were in the community hall, helping to get the town ready for an early summer festivity. When the first waves of warmth arrived at Jackson and the sun kissed the streets, the town came to life beautifully. The council had proposed a barbeque, have the townsfolk gather together for some lunch and build up the community spirit.

“Sweetheart, can you pass me the salad bowl, please?” Joel interrupted your train of thought—not that you were thinking anything in particular, but it just added to your annoyance.

“Last time I checked you had hands to grab it yourself?” you snapped back, unable to rein in the words before they slipped out.

You realised your mistake when some subtle gasps rumbled around you. The rest of the people around the table pretended to not have heard your answer, but their expressions said it all.

Venturing a side glance at Joel, you saw how his brows bunched up, the crease between them deepening. His lips were pressed into a thin line, his jaw tight and the vein in his neck bulging. He was mad. And probably rightfully so.

You should have apologised but instead opted to retreat. To soothe your curt reply, you gave him the bowl he had asked for.

“Gotta check the stock room, see if there are any more napkins,” you mumbled, averting your eyes, before you scurried along to the back of the hall.

With every step, you felt Joel’s eyes on you, following your every movement like a rabid dog, but you kept your back straight and chin up—it was his fault for getting you pregnant, really. It didn’t matter that you had begged him to come inside multiple times because you wanted to carry his kids—no, right now it was solely his fault.

Once in the pantry, you left the door ajar as you trudged to the back of the room. Going on your tiptoes, you tried several times to reach for the wooden box on the top shelf unsuccessfully. Grunting now, you extended your arm as much as you could, your fingertips almost grabbing the handle.

“What the fuck was that about, hm?” Joel startled you, making you jump on the spot, your heart racing wildly.

Joel’s broad hands landed on your hipbones, pushing your ass back into him while you held onto a shelf. His fingers bunched up your sundress in his fists, the hem of your attire running up your thighs.

“You got so much fucking attitude today and I don’t even know why,” he growled, his teeth nipping at your ear.

You opened your mouth to reply, but he silenced you with a stern tut.

“Right now I don’t fucking care, honestly. That was so rude. And in front of everyone?” he went on. You heard some rustling behind you but couldn’t look over your shoulder—Joel had you pinned against the shelving. “Gotta teach you some manners. But first I’mma fuck the anger out of you so we can talk like civilised adults later.”

Joel lifted the back of your sundress and then you felt it—his hard length poking at your entrance over your panties. He moved them aside, his throbbing cock skidding on your wet slit.

Your eyes darted to the ajar door in a panic, but the lust pooling low in your pussy impeded your talking.

“Yeah, door’s open. If someone comes in and sees how I’m disciplining you, then you might learn the lesson,” Joel husked in your ear, his cockhead nudging your palpitating clit.

You gasped at the intimate touch, your fingers clutching the edge of the wooden shelf with a strength you didn’t know you had. Joel’s hips slanted back, the tip of his cock dragging along your dripping seam with ease.

Your eyes fluttered shut, the resolution of your anger slowly fading away, brushed away by a few strokes of his drumming dick on your slick folds. How you melted for him so effortlessly should have been somewhat infuriating, but reality was, this was exactly what you needed.

“You’re so fucking wet, desperately leaking onto my cock like that,” Joel’s breath caressed the shell of your ear, your pussy lips snugly hugging his glans, your hole mouthing for him. “Is that it? You’re upset ‘cause I didn’t fuck you stupid this morning, hm?”

You whimpered in response, grinding your ass onto his lower tummy, adjusting your position ever so slightly so his searing cockhead would kiss your opening. Silently begging him to stuff your cunt full of him.

“Yeah, that’s fucking it. You’re so desperate for your old man,” Joel purred, all of your hairs standing up in anticipation.

And with that, Joel thrusted in sharply, burying himself down to the hilt, his fists holding your dress up while the squelching sound of your bodies meeting filled the room. You moaned at the intrusion, threads of spit wetting the corners of your mouth.

“There you go, just what you needed,” Joel gritted, kissing the curve of your neck before he pushed back, then harshly back in.

You didn’t reply, just rested your forehead on the edge of the shelf while Joel fucked you from behind, your knees shaking with the burning passion melting your insides. Your crying pussy hugged him tight, clenching around his thick girth as if she never wanted to let him go. This was where he belonged.

Every time Joel jackhammered into your weeping cunt, you saw blinding stars behind your eyelids. The tip of his dick would shyly kiss your cervix, careful not to hurt you—keeping you on the sharp blade of the pleasure knife. He filled your entire pussy, stretching your walls apart to house the whole of him, cracking you open just for his own enjoyment and amusement.

And you’d let him. Wished he’d have you just like this every waking second of your day, the pregnancy hormones having you in a constant state of animalistic heat. It probably wasn’t normal, but you didn’t care.

Rutting into you, Joel built up a punishing pace. He was fucking you so hard now, the shelf you were holding onto for dear life began rattling, the glass jars clinking and moving around. Your legs started trembling too, the sheer force of his plunges draining the energy out of your cunt while the coil inside you tightened to breaking point.

Joel’s calloused hands moved from your hips, the skirt of your sundress cascading down your body, and he placed his palms right under your swollen belly. He held your pregnant tummy up, and you suddenly felt as if a heavy weight had been taken off your lower back, an instant release coursing through your system.

You signed heavily, and Joel picked up on it.

“My poor baby, carrying all this weight by herself. You look radiantly beautiful and sexy, so perfectly round with my kid. Our kid,” he added, licking the salt of your neck—your whole skin bristled. “I’d have you be pregnant forever, so everyone knows who you belong to. Who fucks you until your brain is blown out every single day of your life. Who has your sweet tight pussy drooling everywhere.”

“Y-yes, I want that too,” you managed to speak through chattering teeth, your ass meeting his hips every time he ploughed you. “F-fuck, Joel…” you groaned, looking down to see your juices running down your inner thighs.

“Yeah, I know you do, sweetheart—wanna carry my kids, make me a daddy,” your pussy fluttered around him with the last spoken word, your sobs louder. “That’s right, darling. Make me a fucking daddy. I want you swollen with my child all year round. I’d be destroying this sweet little cunt of yours every single day so my cum takes.”

Joel was diabolical, his dirty talk hitting right on that kink of yours—you wanted him to breed you, to fuck you stupid, to fill you with his sperm. Just the thought had you wantonly moaning. All his breeding talk had you gushing, your mind filled with a relaxing, buzzing noise as all thoughts vacated the premises.

Your eyes briefly shot to the ajar door and you could have sworn you’d seen someone peeking through the crack in the door. But after blinking, the mirage was gone. Perhaps you’d just imagined it.

An imminent warm sensation flushed through your veins, your attention drifting from the door, and your inner walls clamped around him, strangling his cock as you came—the big wave of your orgasm drowning you, your wails louder than they should be considering where you were. All taut muscles in your body relaxed at once, your knees almost giving way while your racing heart calmed down and your breathing stabilised.

Joel managed to keep you upright, his hands holding your belly while his hips pinned you against the standing shelf, fucking into you maddeningly quick. You felt the pulse surging through his shaft, announcing his climax, and to help him get there faster, you clutched your spent cunt around him.

“That’s it, sweetheart. Hug me tight like that,” he groaned in your ear, breathless and agitated.

You squeezed him hard again at his command, and soon enough he gifted you a warm, fresh load of his cum, painting your womb white. Joel leaked into you in spurts, tacky ropes filling you up.

Joel kissed your neck while you unclenched, releasing him from your grasp. His cock slowly started to soften inside you and carefully Joel pulled out. With one hand still below your belly to give you some much needed comfort, his other one travelled down your front to your groin, readjusting your panties.

“You’re gonna walk around here with your sweet pussy leaking my cum, soaking your laced panties, until we get home, darling. And then I’ll give you another load, see if you’re in a better mood then,” Joel muttered.

He let go of your tummy, the weight of your growing child pulling the muscles on your lower back again. You heard him zipping up his jeans and then he gently turned you around in his embrace.

“Care to explain now what the issue was?” he asked, peppering kisses around your mouth, but not on your lips.

You pouted, draping your arms around his neck.

“You left without saying goodbye, without… you know,” you whispered, pecking his jawline.

Joel laughed, a hearty one that filled you with joy and made you smile. “Without fucking you. Won’t happen again. Noted. Anything else?”

“I tripped with your boots,” you saw him opening his mouth to retort back, but you silenced him with a quick kiss. “I know, I know. They were tucked away. I still tripped anyway. Then I went to the toilet and the seat was up. I almost got my ass wet when I went to pee. And thinking it couldn’t get any worse than that… I go to the kitchen to find that we’ve run out of coffee?”

Your words were not accusing, not anymore. Joel and you knew how to talk things out—even the smallest details, so there wouldn’t be anything nagging neither of you. This was one of the strongest pillars of your relationship, and you loved being able to openly talk to him about absolutely anything.

“I see. I’ve been an ass today. M’sorry, sweetheart,” his apology was heartfelt, the guilt in his eyes evident.

You smiled at him, your fingers tracing the edge of his jawline.

“It’s okay. I forgive you, baby,” you mumbled lovingly.

You searched for his mouth and melted into a slow-paced, open-mouthed kiss that left you breathless. You had to pause to collect your thoughts when the kiss came to an end, Joel pecking the tip of your nose.

“What did you come here to get? We can’t leave empty-handed,” Joel joked, and you giggled before intertwining your fingers with his.

“The napkins. Can you grab them for me?”

[imstillalexcomic]

As a experienced trans lady can you give any tips for a newbie? Like getting HRT, clothes, ECT. I have no idea what I'm doing 😞

Hey!

While it seems like I'm older than most folks here, I'm pretty much a newbie to transitioning myself! I was questioning for about 8 years before realizing what my situation was, and then didn't actually come out to anyone for another 9 years, then didn't actually start my transition until this past year, which was 7 years after that!

Getting HRT

Your experience is going to vary depending on where you live, so I can only speak to my own situation. When I got my current doctor a couple years ago, it wasn't for any gender purposes, I just needed a new doctor since I had moved. When I had my appointment however, I noticed she was wearing a rainbow pin, so I made a mental note that she'd be a safe person to talk to if I ever decided I was ready to transition.

When the time came, I spoke with her on the topic. She was incredibly understanding and got me started right away. Did some blood tests first to see what my current levels were, and then was prescribed hormones based on those levels.

I'm about 9 months into HRT now. There are periodic blood tests to check levels and make adjustments to my prescriptions.

What am I taking?

Estradiol - Initially was doing the patch, but it was reacting pretty badly with my skin. Was breaking out under the patch and the itch was unbearable. I've since moved to doing weekly injections.

Spironolactone - Taken by pill in the morning with food.

Progesterone - Taken by pill at night.

Clothes

I am genuinely the worst person to ask about this lol. I kind of already dress the way I like, jeans/kahkis & a button down. I'm a plain gal and kind of a tomboy. That said, my wife has been helping me out with bras, and I'm realizing that I need to figure something out in the shirt department, since my "guy" shirts are starting to get uncomfortably snug around my chest.

I've tried some shirt tailored for women, but they don't really work with my frame lol. ALSO WHY ARE THE BUTTONS ON THE OTHER SIDE WHAT'S THE POINT OF THAT? Like, why are buttons gendered? My muscle memory for guy shirt buttons is too strong to overcome at the moment, so for now I'm holding off sticking with my guy tailored shirts until my chest doesn't allow for it anymore.

So... that's where I'm at! Again, your experience is very likely to vary from mine depending on where you live (and what your goals are!), so take everything I said with a grain of salt.

I'm wishing you the best on this journey we're on together!

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hey sex witch! disclaimer: I recognize that you are not a doctor. however, i live in a state that has systematically rid itself of almost all the relevant specialists, and i have seen literally everyone in my area already, so I guess I am wondering if you/any of your followers would have any ideas or similar experiences

I started my period at 10 and it just never regulated itself at all and then eventually when I was a teenager it stopped entirely. I am 26 now and while I did have an oral progesterone triggered period this spring, I have not had one since and before that i hadn’t had one since i was about 17 years old - between 13-17 i was on patch birth control to regulate it, which gave me a period on the off week about half the time?

All my hormones are “normal” according to multiple blood tests and ultrasounds didn’t find anything wrong either. I don’t have pain or anything. I sometimes feel like i’m having hormonal changes (mood swings or libido changes) but never even like the same week of the month every time regularly

I went to a bunch of doctors about it until eventually I tried the literal last specialist within 5 hours of where I live, a women’s health hospital and after a bunch of very expensive exams and blood tests my doctor just said she didn’t know and that I should keep taking progesterone regularly because it triggers a period in me about 1/3 of the time after I stop taking it

I guess I am wondering if you have heard about this or if anyone who sees this has, because i don’t know if this is a big deal at all. I’m not sure if it impacts my fertility or if it’s unhealthy to just never have a period? Since no one has found anything structural or hormonal to explain it I have no idea if it’s caused by something else. Is it possible for people to be born without?? needing a period??? Like some alexandrias genesis type shit?? Lol. Sorry this is so vague. Google has not helped me one bit and neither have forums or actual doctors so i understand if your response is 🤷‍♀️

hi anon,

you're right that I'm not a doctor, and I'm afraid I'm not qualified to take a guess here. but if anyone who sees this has experienced something similar and has some insight, that would be very appreciated!

[genderqueerdykes]

What is diy testosterone? Is it just like eating foods high in testosterone or smth

good question, diy hormone replacement therapy is when someone obtains testosterone, estrogen, progesterone, testosterone blockers, etc. in ways other than getting it prescribed by a doctor. some people may buy it online, from people they know irl, or get it gifted to them by other trans people. it's dangerous in that most people don't know where to start with dosing, and may not get their bloodwork tested often to see if their body is reacting in a negative way

i personally suggest finding out if it's possible to get it prescribed so you know it's safe, but if you can't, i don't necessarily want to stop someone if they live somewhere where it's impossible to get a prescription. especially if estrogen isn't illegal to buy there. it's something that i can't necessarily say i want to take away from people in countries where transition is illegal. its some peoples only option and i'd rather practice harm reduction

some people may do what you're suggesting, but i'm not sure. it's usually someone taking HRT into their own hands without medical guidance. it comes with its own risks but for some its their only option. hope that helps!

[mpreglover225]

Chapter 1: The Journey Begins—Understanding Conception in Expectant Fathers

Introduction

Embarking on the journey to parenthood is an exciting and transformative experience. For expectant fathers, understanding the intricacies of conception is the first step towards a healthy and fulfilling pregnancy. This chapter delves into the biological processes of male fertility, the various methods of conception—including natural intercourse, artificial insemination, and in vitro fertilization (IVF)—and the significance of the monthly heat cycle when ovulation occurs.

The Male Reproductive System: An Overview

Anatomy and Physiology

Understanding your body is essential for maximizing fertility and achieving conception.

Testes: Produce sperm and the hormone testosterone.

Ovaries (Male Ovaries): Specialized organs that release eggs (ova) during the heat cycle.

Heat Cycle: A monthly period of increased fertility when ovulation occurs.

Uterus (Male Uterus): The organ where a fertilized egg implants and develops into a fetus.

Anal Canal: Serves as the birth canal during delivery.

Hormonal Regulation

Testosterone: Influences sperm production and libido.

Estrogen and Progesterone: Regulate the heat cycle and prepare the uterus for pregnancy.

Luteinizing Hormone (LH) and Follicle-Stimulating Hormone (FSH): Control the release of eggs during ovulation.

The Heat Cycle: Timing is Everything

Understanding Ovulation

The heat cycle is a critical window for conception.

Duration: Typically lasts 5-7 days each month.

Ovulation: Occurs mid-cycle, releasing a mature egg ready for fertilization.

Signs of Heat:

Increased body temperature.

Heightened libido.

Mild abdominal discomfort.

Clear cervical mucus discharge.

Tracking Your Cycle

Calendar Method: Mark the start and end of each heat cycle to predict ovulation.

Basal Body Temperature: Measure daily temperature to detect the slight rise during ovulation.

Ovulation Predictor Kits: Detect LH surge indicating imminent ovulation.

Monitoring Symptoms: Be attentive to physical and emotional changes.

Natural Conception: The Traditional Path

Sexual Intercourse During Heat

Engaging in sexual activity during your heat cycle increases the likelihood of conception.

Optimal Timing: 1-2 days before and after ovulation.

Frequency: Regular intercourse every other day during the fertile window.

Positions for Conception:

Positions that allow deep penetration may facilitate sperm reaching the egg.

Remain lying down for 15-20 minutes post-intercourse to aid sperm travel.

Factors Affecting Fertility

Lifestyle Choices:

Nutrition: A balanced diet rich in vitamins and minerals supports reproductive health.

Exercise: Regular physical activity promotes hormonal balance but avoid excessive training.

Substance Use: Limit alcohol and avoid smoking or recreational drugs.

Health Conditions:

Hormonal Imbalances: Can affect ovulation and sperm quality.

Chronic Illnesses: Conditions like diabetes or thyroid disorders may impact fertility.

Medications: Certain prescriptions can interfere with reproductive function.

Assisted Reproductive Technologies (ART)

When natural conception is challenging, assisted methods offer alternative pathways to parenthood.

Artificial Insemination (AI)

Overview: Sperm is collected and directly inserted into the reproductive tract during ovulation.

Types:

Intrauterine Insemination (IUI): Sperm placed directly into the uterus.

Intracervical Insemination (ICI): Sperm deposited near the cervical opening.

Procedure:

Performed in a clinical setting by a healthcare professional.

Sperm can be from a partner or a donor.

Success Rates: Vary based on age, fertility issues, and sperm quality.

In Vitro Fertilization (IVF)

Overview: Eggs and sperm are combined outside the body, and the resulting embryo is implanted into the uterus.

Procedure:

Ovarian Stimulation: Medications stimulate multiple eggs to mature.

Egg Retrieval: Eggs are collected using a minor surgical procedure.

Fertilization: Eggs are combined with sperm in a lab.

Embryo Transfer: One or more embryos are placed into the uterus.

Considerations:

Time Commitment: IVF requires multiple clinic visits and procedures.

Emotional Impact: The process can be emotionally taxing; support is essential.

Cost: IVF can be expensive; explore insurance coverage and financing options.

Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection (ICSI)

Overview: A single sperm is injected directly into an egg during IVF.

Indications: Used when there are sperm quality or quantity issues.

Procedure: Similar to IVF with the additional step of sperm injection.

Preparing for Conception

Preconception Health Check

Medical Evaluation:

Visit a healthcare provider for a comprehensive health assessment.

Discuss medical history, medications, and any chronic conditions.

Fertility Testing:

Semen Analysis: Evaluates sperm count, motility, and morphology.

Hormonal Tests: Measures levels of testosterone, FSH, LH, estrogen, and progesterone.

Ultrasound Examination: Assesses the reproductive organs for any abnormalities.

Lifestyle Modifications

Nutrition:

Increase intake of folic acid, zinc, selenium, and antioxidants.

Consume plenty of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins.

Exercise:

Engage in moderate physical activity to maintain a healthy weight.

Stress Management:

Practice relaxation techniques like yoga, meditation, or deep-breathing exercises.

Avoid Environmental Toxins:

Limit exposure to pesticides, heavy metals, and endocrine-disrupting chemicals.

Supplements and Vitamins

Prenatal Vitamins:

Start taking prenatal vitamins at least three months before attempting conception.

Omega-3 Fatty Acids:

Support hormonal balance and fetal development.

Consult a Healthcare Provider:

Before starting any supplement regimen.

Emotional and Psychological Preparation

Communication with Your Partner

Shared Goals:

Discuss family planning desires and expectations.

Emotional Support:

Be open about feelings, fears, and hopes.

Intimacy:

Maintain a strong emotional and physical connection.

Coping with Challenges

Infertility Concerns:

Acknowledge that conception may take time.

Seek professional counseling if needed.

Managing Expectations:

Understand that each journey to parenthood is unique.

Building a Support Network

Family and Friends:

Share your plans with trusted individuals.

Support Groups:

Join communities of other expectant fathers or couples trying to conceive.

Professional Guidance:

Consult fertility specialists, counselors, and reproductive endocrinologists.

Conclusion

Understanding the process of making a baby empowers expectant fathers to take proactive steps towards achieving pregnancy. Whether through natural conception during the heat cycle or utilizing assisted reproductive technologies, being informed about your options and preparing both physically and emotionally are crucial components of this journey. Remember, patience and persistence are key, and seeking support along the way can make the experience more rewarding and less daunting.

Key Takeaways

Know Your Cycle: Understanding your heat cycle enhances your ability to conceive.

Healthy Lifestyle: Nutrition, exercise, and avoiding harmful substances improve fertility.

Explore Options: Familiarize yourself with both natural and assisted conception methods.

Emotional Preparedness: Open communication and emotional support are vital.

Professional Guidance: Regular consultations with healthcare providers ensure optimal care.

[transmutationisms]

these tags annoyed me to be honest

1. PCOS is a bad point of comparison because despite the name, diagnosis is not *supposed to be* done on the primary basis of finding cysts in the ovaries; these are common and not inherently of concern. instead, the more indicative biomarker is the hormone test (high levels of testosterone *throughout the menstrual period*, with corresponding disruption to the expected/typical fluctuations in estrogen/progesterone) but often diagnosis is done more on the basis of a physical exam ('exam') confirming characteristics such as hairiness or adiposity. this absolutely DOES result in PCOS overdiagnosis for some demographics; while a real biological condition, PCOS is also a load-bearing diagnostic term in the enforcement of very specific standards of (white) femininity and its use also frequently masks, for example, the frequency of hypothalamic amenorrhea (HA) secondary to chronic energy deficiency (as in anorexia), which doctors are loathe to diagnose because they view weight loss as prima facie good

2. the reason it matters that psychiatric diagnoses do not have a 'biology' is not because every disease must have a single specific biomarker; it is correct that some do not. however, the way patient complaints are sifted into categories labelled 'psychiatric' versus '(otherwise) medical' begins essentially with determining whether the distress is 'physical' or 'mental'. in other words, in the case of, say, the chronic fatigue syndrome (famously, lacking a known specific biomarker), the symptoms being investigated by the non-psychiatrist physician are still physical (PEM; mast cell dysregulation; pain; etc) whereas a diagnosis of depression may be accompanied by, but requires no, physical symptoms or presentation. the psychiatric claim that its diagnoses have biological causes and correlates is specifically a claim about the role of neurobiology in the causation of affective states; thus, the comparison to physical complaints is meaningless here

3. this person goes on to claim that depressives do in fact share, though not universally, certain biomarkers such as mitochondrial dysregulations. such claims typically come from various imaging studies plagued with systemic problems in the selection and definition of patient populations as well as the subjectivity of result interpretation and analysis. these claims are not well supported and typically rely on circular selection and definition of patient populations

4. speaking philosophically, it is in fact often correct to challenge the notion that a physical 'disease' chronically lacking a specific biomarker is indeed a disease, in any sense besides the colloquial one. that is, diseases that cannot be correlated with one cause or presentation are often better understood as 'syndromes', which is to say, as a taxonomical heuristic that is likely grouping together multiple disparate physical (anatomical, physiological, functional, &c) problems with multiple disparate causes. this is almost certainly the case for chronic fatigue syndrome, for example. this is a philosophical distinction that matters for research and understanding, and does not mean or imply anything to minimise or contradict the patient experience of the syndrome or symptoms. it matters because, for instance, CFS triggered by the epstein-barr virus may indeed turn out to have different disease mechanisms to CFS triggered by, say, covid-19, or may have different specific mechanisms when running in certain families, and so on. distinguishing these much more specific presentations, and possibly distinct diseases, from the current discursive schema of the overlying syndrome is potentially very good for patients, who likely have different needs and treatments to one another despite currently all sharing the same label in their charts

5. which goes back to an overlying point, which is that (despite frequent defensiveness to the contrary), whether or not something is a disease does not inherently tell us anything about its reality, its severity, its cause, the moral status of its sufferers, &c

[prolifeproliberty]

Hey, I was reading an old post of yours where are you linked a list of OBGYN’s who are committed to practicing actual medicine and not just putting everybody on birth control as a fix-all. The link is broken, but I would really like to see if there any providers on that list in my area.

Obviously if you can’t provide the list I understand. Thank you for your time!

If we’re thinking of the same post, I went and fixed the link after someone else brought it to my attention! But here’s the link again:

Scroll down to where it says “Find a Medical Consultant” and click that. I had initially linked to the list directly, but when they update the list it breaks the direct link.

One of the doctors on that list is in my area, and I have several friends who’ve had him as their doctor and had great experiences. I actually credit him with saving my friend’s baby. Before she started going to him, she’d had multiple miscarriages, and didn’t know what was causing them. As soon as he told him her history, he ordered hormone testing (and was incredulous that nobody had ordered those tests for her before). She ended up getting supplemental progesterone, and carried her baby safely to term.

So yeah, they’re good people.

[dxmedstudent]

Things to not say to infertile folks:

A lot of people don't really know what to say when discussing infertility, and a lot of people who are struggling with it complain that people say hurtful or triggering things to them - often unintentionally.

So I thought I'd write a guide about what not to say, taken , unfortunatelyfrom hearing or seeing people express these opinions:

You just need to relax/get drunk/go on holiday/not stress so much/not want it so much.

Telling someone to be more relaxed or less stressed doesn't work - kind of like telling someone to calm them down doesn't, in fact, calm them down. It also minimises the fact that a lot of people with fertility problems have actual medical problems causing the situation, which may require treatment or might even be untreatable.

It also comes with the (likely unintentional) implication that it's your fault for not conceiving because unlike everyone else, you're just not relaxing enough. You fail at relaxing. You're doing trying wrong.

So you can't have kids? Like, at all?

Putting aside that it is a little insensitive to say this, technically infertility means that a couple tried to have kids for a year or more but were unsuccessful. Infertility is reduced fertility, and sometimes the term subfertity is seen as more accurate.

People can be told that they have a condition that affects fertility like fibroids, PCOS or endometriosis, but they may still conceive if having unprotected PIV sex and should still use contraception if they do not wish to get pregnant.

This is also why folks on T and folks on oestrogen/progesterone HRT should talk to their team about contraception, whether they are cis or trans. Whilst taking HRT can sometimes reduce fertility it does NOT render you sterile and people often need to use an additional contraceptive.

Sterility means being completely unable to have kids - for example, if you have had both gonads removed.

Infertile couples can sometimes eventually have children unassisted, and most infertile couples manage to conceive with fertility treatment.

Have you tried having sex/tracking ovulation/insert absolutely beginner knowledge here)?

Oh crap, we've been mistakenly putting it up the ass this entire time! Silly me!

Unless you're the couple's doctor and your job is to walk them through every possible issue and make sure nothing is missed, please assume that they have done their research and have the basic stuff down.  Treat people as if they are sensible and competent. Believe people when they say there is a problem. Leave the diagnosing to their fertility team.

Because when you think about it, if a couple have been trying for like 3 years and you ask them if they've tried LH strips, it's kind of patronising.

You didn't become an expert just because you accidentally got pregnant 5 years ago or conceived first try with your second. People who have been struggling with a health problem for years have usually done a ton of reading, speaking to healthcare professionals and lots of tests - they almost certainly know a lot more than you about it.

Oh yeah, I know how you feel! I've been trying for 2 months / hope to have kids and I'm terrified of being infertile, I couldn't stand that. It would ruin my life!

There's a place for sharing your concerns, but please don't expect people suffering a condition to have to console you about how bad it would be for you to live their life. Infertile people don't want to hear that their life is your worst nightmare, it's just a rude thing to tell someone.

Don't tell people with coeliac you'd die if you couldn't eat pasta, don't tell people who are blind that you'd end yourself if you couldn't paint or watch TV. Just ... have some tact.

Ha, being a parent is hard, are you sure you want that? Would you take one of mine?

No, Debra.

Please stop making light of someone's personal grief or disability. This is like making boomer "I hate my wife" jokes to someone who just lost their spouse.

But what do I say, then? I don't know what to say!

I've legitimately seen people say the most insensitive thinfs and then turn around to say this.

But...

You don't have to say anything- believe it or not you don't have to offer an opinion or advice on sonething you know nothing about. They aren't waiting on YOU to fix their problem or give them advice on something a team of specialists hasn't been able to fix.

If someone tells you that they are having fertility issues, just tell them you're sorry to hear that and that you hope it works for them soon. Or ask them if they want to talk about it and let them know you are there to listen.

More things not to say after the cut...

My friend's aunt's cousin was about to have infertility treatment, then they just had twins! I'm sure that will happen for you, when you stop trying!

Everyone tells us their one in a million "miracle stories"... but they just aren't fun to hear, for many people with infertility. They may give some people hope, but they can make people feel even more isolated and unlucky because we KNOW how unlikely it is that we'll have that same luck.

Also for most of us, stopping trying would make actually conceiving and carrying to term extremely unlikely. Please don't discourage people from seeking medical help when they need it.

Well I don't think IVF/using a donor/single parent families/lgbtq families is right/natural.

It's great that you don't need it and don't have to have it, then! But your opinion is kind of irrelevant to everyone else.

Lots of modern medicine isn't natural - and as a doctor, I REALLY don't think "naturalness" or your personal comfort level with a treatment you are completely ignorant about is a relevant metric for how beneficial a medical treatment is to the people who need it. 

We've spent all of human civilisation working to give us more tools (and better ones) to help people. IVF is a tool. It's an accommodation for a disability or inability due to circumstances that lets some people overcome their medical conditions or circumstances.

Are you saying that to cancer patients? To people wearing a cast for their broken arm? To people wearing a prosthesis for their amputated leg? I absolutely hope not. Please do not do that.

Other people's medical treatments are between them and their clinicians. If you don't like it? You're free to not have said treatment. If you don't want kids, you are free to not have any. I'm a passionate advocate for access to reproductive care, contraception and abortion.

But if you're pro abortion, you cannot meaningfully be anti-fertility treatment. Because you either believe in bodily autonomy or you don't. You can't pick and choose only when it benefits you.

I just think that if you can't have kids naturally, then your body/nother nature/God is telling you something and you should just stop trying. Maybe your genes are just bad and shouldn't be spread. Maybe you just wouldn't make a great parent.

Look, nature is stupid. It gives kids type 1 diabetes and genetic conditions that kill them in infancy and gives your loved ones cancer. Do you go around telling everyone that they should just due or accept being permanently seriously ill or disabled because nature gave them an illness? Do you refuse all modern medicine because you should be listening to nature's plan for your body? I bloody well hope not, because that's dumb when modern medicine exists.

There are all sorts of dumb reasons why people are infertile - why would having a tube blocked by endometriosis or slow sperm make someone a bad parent? Why are you literally telling someone to their face, whose meducal problems you dont even understand, that you think they are just too defective to make a family?

Let's stay away from the eugenics, shall we? We could have a nuanced conversation about how genetic testing of embryos can potentially reduce or eliminate rare fatal diseases which kill children and have no hope of a life without significant suffering. And how most couples who have IVF successfully go on to have healthy chikdren who live normal lives. But no, Steve, stopping your mate with a mild varicocele from having children is not going to revolutionise the human race or fulfil some alternate divine fate.

Well, fertility is a first world problem, some people have real problems, we should be focusing on that instead.

Actually, it's a problem for millions of peole, around the world. The IVF industry is huge in certain parts of the Global south, for example India.

People think it's a white rich people problem because most of the people who can  afford to undergo fertility treatment privately or adopt...are the wealthy. But it's always been a problem - that affects people across cultures, socioeconomic groups and sexualities. And infertility has often been accompanied with shame and ostracisation. Stigmatising fertility care hurts everyone. Especially the poor.

Many LGBTQ couples need fertility care - whether because their gender affirming surgery or HRT or health complicates things, or they and their partner's combination of gametes makes things tricky. Making fertility care less taboo and more accessible helps them too. The conversation very often side tracks and ignores them but their struggle is valid too.

You people only want kids because they are brainwashed by the patriarchy. Infertility wouldn't be an issue if women were emancipated and not brainwashed by the patriarchy.

Look, I've been feminist in online spaces since before some of you were born. I'm not unaware of the patriarchy and how it colours our choices.

But we have to stop infantilising women abd removing their agency. I know single women and lesbians who have spent decades working through their issues with the patriarchy...who still want kids and are dealing with fertility treatment. Sure, we will never be entirely free from the many ways society affects us. But that doesn't mean we're all blindly falling into motherhood.

You don't want kids, that's great. But it doesn't mean that every single woman choosing to have them is brainwashed and unable to understand what she is getting into - and it's pretty misogynistic to frame it that way.

Nobody should be having kids because the economy/environment/etc

OK there's a conversation to be had about cutting our carbon footprint and being aware of how our choices affect others and the planet. We should all be trying to live more sustainably - I say as I wear thrifted clothes whilst typing this on the train.

But... are you saying that to able bodied people having kids? Are you sacrificing everything that you want for the cause? Or is the easiest thing to give up the thing that someone else wants? I'm all for encouraging everyone to be mindful of the planet but we shouldn't be restricting the rights of people with a disability to make that happen.

We make choices for ourselves, not for other people.

Why not adopt or foster? Adopt don't shop!

Well this is a whole post in itself...but basically, please assume that anyone who is trying for kids for a while... has at least considered adoption. Please tryst people to choose the right option for them and their family.

Children are not puppies, and the massive adoption industry isn't always ethical or safe, can be hugely expensive (often moreso than IVF in some places!), and also doesn't actually guarantee that they get to have a child at the end of it.

There can be a lot of trauma and complicated feelings for the adopted child and their birth family and many kids need very specialised support that not every potential adoptive parent can provide.

There are also far more infertile couples than kids who need adoption - so not every individualor couple could adopt. Many kids just need temporary fostering with the aim of placing them back with their family, which is important but very different.

I intend to flesh out this argument more in a separate post but IMO adoption should ideally be rare - because birth parents should have free access to contraception, abortion and be empowered and supported to look after and raise their kids within their communities if they want them. Adoption should serve the needs of the child, not the potential parents. And certainly not the agencies.

If you truly believe there are millions of kids out there needing a home, why aren't you adopting? Why aren't you clamouring for every fertile couples to adopt? Because on some level society still that's these kids as a consolation prize. And because many of the people judging infertile couples for having IVF over adoption aren't all that invested in actially learning about these kids or helping them.

Infertile people aren't solely responsible for solving complex societal problems on their own. This is something that we as a whole society need to address.

[pippindot]

I've met a few people who wanted to breed dogs irresponsibly- could you give us a few reasons not to?

(the particular people said they would do health testing and not crossbreed, but did not have the living space/money/etc to house puppies, so more into that if that's okay)

I am not the best person to speak on this because I myself have never bred a litter, but I am friends with lots of breeders.

The biggest thing is that breeding is very expensive to do right, even before puppies arrive. Health testing, progesterone testing, various AI methods if needed, prenatal workups, the possibility of a C-section, the possibility of an EMERGENCY C-section...all very costly. Then you gotta have all your whelping supplies and containment methods and enrichment for babies, food for mama and food for babies, cleaning supplies, some way to deal with the poop poop poop a pile of puppies will make.

In addition to the financial cost, there is always a danger to your bitch during breeding. Things can go wrong. She can get hurt, require surgery, go septic, or even die. Puppies can be stillborn, fail to thrive, have some unexpected defects, get sat on or munched by an inexperienced or confused dam. It's not for the faint of heart.

I have to add that I don't think crossbreeding itself is inherently unethical btw, it can be done thoughtfully and well and those puppies deserve to thrive just as much as any others.

Hope that helps!

[wordy-little-witch]

Random thoughts here, gonna add stuff for trigger warnings

Tw being trans pregnancy, I guess could he considered mpreg? Buggy identifies more masc but is AFAB. Nothing necessarily explicit

I just. Mm. Babies. Baby fever, lowkey. Can't have kids of my own, but I can day dream about my blorbos.

Buggy is trans, he's on T, but surgeries are wonky at best, uninteresting and frankly a liability. He'd be down for a good deal of time, something he isn't all too crazy about. When the dysphoria gets bad, he just chop-chops his chest and uses a packer ((his packer being, of course, a drawstring back of muggy balls, and opportunities for Many Jokes)).

Due to an event in his youth, pre Devil Fruit, he was told he's likely infertile ((Got stabbed a few times and a good chunk of his reproductive system is more scar tissue than actual organ tissue)). Between that, the difficulty for conception when a parent has a Devil Fruit, and his testosterone, he's decently certain it's not an option.

Of course, Buggy D Clown, the genius jester and Flashy Fool of the Seas, is a living embodiment of doing the impossible.

It starts with a sudden nausea when he smells his usual drink of choice. Alcohol was once something he adored, maybe in a little excess, but he was a pirate and pirates party. It's a given. Shanks' alcoholism was born from their shared past, and Buggy wasn't all too different on that front.

But suddenly, during lunch, when he went to take a sip of his rum, he caught a whiff of it and had to lean back and force down a gag. He exchanged it for a water, something not TOO unusual, as sometimes he'd have things he wanted to work on with a clear head, like in his workshop. Nobody really batted an eye.

Then he declined it at dinner. Then the next day. Then he was eying Crocodile's plate and his extra tomatoes, something he NEVER does, given his general dislike of the fruit. But now...? Mm.... it looks.. really good...........

Crocodile, thinking this is an opportunity to tease the other, offers a bite, expecting a dramatic recoil and complaint. But Buggy just absolutely beams at him, takes the bite, and damn near swoons. The logia user glances over to the swordsman, both uncertain but willing to roll with it. Not too big of a deal.

Then suddenly Buggy is more emotional than usual, something nobody was expecting. He's usually pretty expressive, all of his emotional responses keyed up to at least eleven. It's only noticed as off because he's crying a lot more, and hiding it far less. He happy cries, sad cries, angry cries. And it's like a switch is flipped. Something will happen and the clown is suddenly bawling. The first few times it happens with the crew, they all panic, but it's happy tears, infectious ones at that and so the men wind up crying too, offering embraces and spinning hugs of emotional care.

Crocodile and Mihawk share Looks.

Then Buggy is getting sick. Like. Throwing up almost every meal time, sick. The only things he can keep down are water, orange juice, and toast with honey or applesauce.

The two dark haired men finally put their foot down and demand the other go to a doctor. They expect a fight, expect tears or anger or yelling or something, but Buggy just nods, blinking slowly from his place curled into Mihawk's side, in one of Crocodile's shirts. He seems exhausted, shadows under his eyes from the newly worsened insomnia.

His easy acquiescence alarms them the most.

The next day, Buggy is seen, and there's a few tests and observations done, culminating into the doctor pursing her lips and ordering a urine sample.

Buggy, pale, head on Croc's chest while Mihawk toys absently with his hair, dozes off in the office while they wait on the results. An hour, and a nap, later, she returns with papers and a tentative air.

"Well... it's not a virus," she begins with. "Your hormone levels are elevated, specifically your progesterone and your chondrionic gonadotropin levels..."

Buggy stiffens, eyes wide. "I'm...?"

She sighs, smiling softly. "Congratulations, Chairman. You're in your first trimester of pregnancy, by the levels we can see here."

Buggy gapes. Crocodile is still as a statue. Mihawk had a thousand yard stare.

There is a soft sound, and suddenly Crocodile has vanished, now but a pile of sand on the floor and partially on Buggy. Mihawk looks faint himself. Buggy just glances between them numbly. "Oh."

"Mm. Quite."

Then, the world's greatest swordsman joins his logia partner in a tangle of limbs on the floor. Buggy stares for a moment. The doctor stares for a moment. Buggy flushes an angry red.

"Those motherfuckers couldn't even stay conscious long enough to get me back?!"

The doc tries to hide her laughter. "In their defense," she choked out, "they were quite worried about you and suddenly received such news. That said, I do have some smelling salts. Here..."

Buggy does not let either of them live it down, for obvious reasons, and they do have to announce it to the Guild because Buggy is now not allowed to have alcohol, can't do his typical tricks, and will need to cut back on a lot of the physical activities he does daily, let alone the topic of fighting. He's nervous about it, because it will involve both announcing a pregnancy as well as coming out. He's made damned sure his crew is inclusive for all sorts of people, regardless of love, color, age or body. But welcoming your fellow man (non gendered), is not necessarily the same as answering to a person like himself.

The reception is largely warm, though. The crew is over the moon, they don't even follow up with a "how does that happen, you're a man", they just immediately are screaming their congratulations and vows to step up and help as they can. Buggy winds up crying again, and Mihawk just wordlessly hands him a water bottle. Hydration is important, especially with all the tears.

His pregnancy is fairly typical, and the morning sickness passes fairly quickly, though the cravings get absolutely hog wild, and EVERYONE is suffering. Buggy tries not to be too needy but he can't control the responses and everyone else is hurting for him when he's so upset. He ends up absolutely obsessed with lemon-lavender ice cream, and the Guild keeps it on hand by the buckets full in the freezer.

When Buggy starts showing, Mihawk finds he has a new favorite place to nuzzle, finding the tiny little whirls of Haki within the clown's abdomen to be mesmerizing. He often finds himself cuddling in, Listening and Sensing, even talking softly to the little life growing within his lover, singing lullabies.

Crocodile near constantly has a hand or hook pressed over the growing swell. If Buggy is within arms reach, his touch is there, protective and mildly stunned. The paternity of the baby is unknown, but none of them particularly care. The baby will be theirs collectively regardless. That baby will be Crocodile's as much as it is Mihawks, as it is Buggy's. That baby is his, too. And he will protect this one ((the way he couldn't protect another, so long ago)).

Alvida, Galdino, Mohji and Cabaji are very hands on with everything. Al never wanted kids, but she is absolutely delighted to be the cool aunt, and the fella are excited to be uncles. It's Daz's quiet excitement that throws everyone for a loop. He's second only to Crocodile and Mihawk when it comes to pampering or spoiling Buggy. He still carries himself as a stoic stone faced man, but he is the one who brings the snacks, who offers a hand when Buggy gets to a size where standing is mildly more difficult, when it's time to convince the blue haired man to take it easy or rest. When asked, he will cite that he is merely doing his duties, but everyone could see when Buggy took Daz's hand and placed it on his bump when the baby was big enough to kick and haveit be felt by others. They saw the way the blade man's eyes widened, the shimmer there, the microexpression of wonder, of care, of brewing love. That baby would be safer than anyone else in the entirety of the grandline, of that nobody had a single doubt.

Shanks could not visit, but he made frequent calls and sent countless gifts, all of which made Buggy blubber like a child or rage like a harpy. Nothing was discarded, though, and in the nursery they set up is a small little bear with a red heart embroidered on the chest.

Rayleigh showing up unannounced was not anticipated. Nor was how Buggy remained blank faced despite the tears on his cheeks. The older man just smiled sadly, wiping away the tears, and handed over a small box. "Shakky and I worked together on this. It only felt right to pass this on. To new generations."

Inside is a stuffed cat, the fabric soft, yellow and worn. It was sun-bleached in some areas, little nose embroidered with red and eyes in blue. Buggy takes one look at the cat and crushes it to his chest, nearly doubled over as he let's out a heart broken keen, falling to his knees. Crocodile and Mihawk are quick to rush to his sides, but Rayleigh is closer and faster, falling down, wrapping around the other, queezing him tightly, softly, teary eyed himself.

"I know," he chokes, hugging his boy tighter, "I know, Blue, I miss him too, baby boy...."

Buggy clings to Rayleigh, holding the cat toy tenderly as he wails.

Ray stays for a few days before Buggy just tells him to pick a damned tent and hang out, damn it, his kid should get to meet at least one grandparent.

Ray doesn't cry but it is a close thing.

The pregnancy is an ordeal all across the board, from reopening wounds to general, typical difficulties, it's a wild ride start to finish and beyond.

There's more than one night of pure domesticity. One where Buggy and Mihawk are shooting baby names back and forth in the kitchen while Crocodile writes them down in the Yes, No or Maybe column. One where Croc and Mihawk are pouring over research for the baby. One where Buggy is in an oversized shirt, feet up on the tummy of a particularly big and spoiled 'wani, singing sea shanties softly as he tinkers with some harmless little trinkets, using his tummy as a table. One where Crocodile, pressed into Buggy's back, confesses to his past and breaks to pieces under dimmed lights in the clown's calloused hands to no judgement, only understanding, only compassion. Nights where Mihawk is wired so tightly by his own past that he sits upright in their bed, a sentinel of protection because he refuses to lose them the way he lost everything before.

You have to drain the infection, the bacteria, for a wound to truly heal.

It's difficult. It's painful. It's worth it.

The 9 months, the 26 hours of labor and the little bundle of life at the end was absolutely worth it.

Especially when newly named Bronwyn D. Crown ((their little Winnie)), with her midnight blue hair and pink little nose, her strawberry marks on fair skin, the curls of her locks and the shade of her lashes around sapphire eyes, is born into the world screaming her displeasure and only settles once clean, once swaddled, once brought back to her parents. She is small, smaller than expected, but every ounce of her body is the foundations of a fighter - she got her baba's temper, that much is certain.

Winnie is the apple of everyone's eye. Cute and small and bold and boasting a nose so much like Buggy's, almost everyone is taken with her. Rayleigh especially is wrapped around her finger within less than thirty minutes together. Shanks is absolutely in love even without seeing her first hand - he meets her the first time when she is two, and he cries because she threw an elephant toy at his head and cackled.

It's not easy. But by the Seas and Skies, it's absolutely worth it.