emmasure-blog

[royalarchivist]

I don't make going live posts for streamers normally, but Fit just went live and he's about to play Stardew. His Stardew streams are pretty calm and fun if folks still need some distraction after yesterday's events.

[natashaslittlegirl]

I need an assistant - Romanoff's Assistant

DO NOT COPY ANY OF MY WORKS. MINORS DNI +18 ONLY.

Summary: You find your dream job in a not-so-expected way.

Boss ! Natasha Romanoff x Assistant ! Reader

Warnings: none.

Natasha Romanoff's Masterlist RA Masterlist RA account Chapter I aesthetic

The morning started like any other, doing your skincare routine, going for a walk to your favorite coffee shop in the whole world, or well, at least in New York. With your beige coat, black dress pants and a white shirt. It's october, autumn is here, so the cold. You grabbed your handbag and your folder, say goodbye to Lena, your cat and start your way.

It's been a month since you graduated from uni in Psychology, so as you all may be thinking, yes, You're looking for a job.

You got in to The Barista, you've been coming here every day for about two years now, you'll see a student needs a lot of coffee and a quiet place to work, this is the ideal place.

"Y/N! Morning! the usual?" Kate asked you, she is a very special girl, always happy with a bright smile, you have known her since a year ago when she started working here, you became very close, you two go to get lunch or drinks together, fun fact, she loves to tease you even though you both know that you only share a beautiful friendship.

"Good morning, my favorite barista, yes please, I need your coffee." you wink at her, yes, you also like to tease her.

"I'm the only barista, of course I'm your favorite! Also, if you keep winking at me I'll start giving you free coffee every morning."

"Well, I think I'm going to keep doing it."

Kate moves to one side preparing your coffee to go, you have to go deliver your curriculum to some companies and studios that you have seen that need an assistant, yeah, you graduated in psychology, but first you have to make money to be able to have your own studio. Once you're called to pick up your drink, you hand Kate the money, but she tells you that's on the house, you thank her and continue your way to the front door. Distracted and without looking, you ended up bumping into a redhead making your folder with all your documents fall. Grateful that your coffee hasn't spilled, you see the woman in front of you bends down to pick up your things.

"I'm so sorry, let me help you." In your shorts twenty-one years on earth you have never seen a woman as beautiful as the one in front of me and for some reason you feel like you know her. You lock eyes as she stands up and hands you the papers, except for one. Your curriculum.

"Looking for a job, huh?" She says with raspy voice as she reads.

"Yeah, I was about to go deliver it."

"Well, I think today is your lucky day because, I need an assistant, Natasha Romanoff." And just like that your frozen in place, is this real? God, you seriously can't believe it. Since the beginning of your career you've been following her work, you have almost never seen photos just one, you think, that's why you feel strange about her, cause you do know who she is. Your dream was one day to be able to work with her. 

"I can't believe it, I was about to drop off my resume at your company, I'm Y/N Y/L/N, it's nice to finally meet you"

"Finally?" she asks you, confused.

"Uhm yes, since the beginning of my career I have followed your work, your research, you are my role model." You said excitedly, she smiles at you and looks at the sheet again.

"Okay, let me see," her gaze dropped to the written paper "So, you're just graduated in psychology with a master's degree in child psychology, criminology, neuropsychology and mindfulness. Impressive." You can't help but smile, at the same time you play with the rings on my fingers, a sign of your nervousness. "If you wait for me to get my coffee we can go to my company together. I'm very interested in what you have to offer and I would like to give you a chance."

You can't believe anything that is happening to you, the feel that at any moment your alarm is going to ring or you're going to fall out of my bed is tickling in your brain.

"Yes, of course, I'll wait, thank you very much, Miss Romanoff." And with nothing more to say, she hands you the foil and goes to order her coffee. You listened to her order, coffee with almond milk, extra hot, without sugar and only the cup 70% full, you made a mental reminder, just in case.

She hands Kate the money plus a generous tip once she receives her coffee, turns back and walks towards you. You open the door for her to go out first, turn your head to Kate, who is with a thumbs up and a smile from ear to ear muttering 'good luck'. You laughed at her enthusiasm, sure she heard everything

You get out and walk to Miss Romanoff's side. Her Company is only two avenues away, you go in silence, enjoying your coffee. As you get closer you see her building, tall mirrored glass floor to celling with at least 20 floors, Romanoff's company.

You go ahead and open the door for her, again she murmurs a thank you and leads your way. You entered to the elevator and as you thought, this building has more than twenty floors, twenty seven to be exact. That's the number Miss Romanoff rings, her office. When it opens the doors you see a long glass desk, behind a shelf with several folders, suppose are her patients. Computer, notebook and ipad, agenda and pens, highlighters, post it, everything an assistant would need.

Glass panels surround her office that separate it from the other one, although you can not see through it, they are mirrored.  She opens the door letting you in and closes it behind her, walks past you and sits at her large glass desk. Her office is minimalist. Excellent view towards central park, obviously, white sofa to one side, carpet under it, a small table in front and two armchairs. The furniture is white also the marble floor with shiny grayish tones without a trace of dust.

"Sit down, let's get started." She points to the chair in front of her desk. You sit and cross your legs, she scans you up and down until her eyes meet your, and you do no other than gulp, loud, Miss Romanoff smirks.

"Why do you want to work as an assistant and not as a psychologist?" She asks you and relaxes her posture by leaning back in her chair.

"I would like first to gain experience, gather all the knowledge I can to later develop myself better, I would like to open my own studio." You answer without hesitation, you're very clear about what you want.

"Why at Romanoff's company?" 

"As I said before, Miss Romanoff, I admire you, I admire your work, I would like to be able to learn as many things as possible and gain skills in the field. I would like to contribute all my knowledge and be able to be your help whenever you need it, I will do anything yo ask me."

"Anything I ask for?" She quicks an eyebrow.

"Yes, Miss Romanoff." She asks you for your foil again and you handed it to her, as she reads better than she did in the café, you take your time to scan her. Red straight hair, plump lips and green eyes with large lashes, delicate eyebrows, define jawline that looks it could cut. Her face is perfect, magazine worthy. Her large neck, adorned with a white shirt, two buttons undone, matching black suit and heels of the same color. She smells like vainilla, so intoxicating, you sigh and she looks at you, feeling the burn in your cheecks, shit.

Her eyes go back to the letters in the paper. "I'm massive impressive, Miss Y/L/N." and looks at you again, "How old are you exactly?"

"Twenty-one, Miss Romanoff." Her eyes open wide, she thought you were older.

"You're twenty-one and you already graduated from college with four masters degrees, always top of your class, Harvard. You have such a potencial" 

Now you can't believe what she's saying, it's what, 10am? And this day couldn't go any better. 

"I need you to know that I don't usually do this, but my previous assistant quit and I need one now. You got the Job, Miss Y/L/N, I want you here monday at 8am, you have a week-test, one day late, one mistake and your gone. Understand?" well, it went better.

"Yes, Miss Romanoff." You nodded.

"Great." She stands up and leads you to your new office. When you tell Kate all this she's not going to believe it. When you wake up this morning you didn't think that you were going to be hired, by no one else than the most powerful women on this country, if not the continent, to work for her in the company you always dreamed, all this happened too fast.

Miss Romanoff starts to tell you what you have to do. As you thought, receive calls, schedule appointments with patients, organize her agenda, see upcoming events and trips, nothing pretty much than the usual things an assistant does. She scolds you to the elevator door and that's the last glimpse of her until Monday, what a good form to start the day.

Next Chapter

[sardonic-sprite]

Dad!Tim AU chapter 5

Part 1

• While Damian and Bruce get Talia to the medbay, Babs calls the others home from patrol for a family meeting

• They all meet in the cave, everyone shocked to see Talia, and sure enough Jason's ready to lop off some heads if only they were closer

• Bruce explains, slightly pink in the face, about the altercation and admits to the secret marriage license

• I FUCKING KNEW IT Dick shrieks

• "I DID know it," Jason says, sticking out his tongue.

• Damian is pissed that he did not know it but he wanted it, so he says he knew it

• Tim is listening with wide eyes, clutching a sleeping Eira so so close against his chest and trembling slightly because, God, the league was HERE, they were going to TAKE HER AWAY and probably KILL HER or or use her against him, and...

• Steph quietly asks if she can hug him, and Tim sags in her arms

• Bruce and Babs and even Talia rush to reassure him that its ok. The records are in place now, that makes it DAMN hard for ra's to do anything, and once they... well they dont HAVE to but if they make it publicly known that Eira is TIMS the way Damian is BRUCES then Ras will well and truly be powerless

• Tim nods grimly. He knows what all the socialites will think, what the board will think, the general popualtion... he knows he's in for all the judgment and scrunity and insults that come with being a teen dad but if it keeps Eira safe then he doesn't fucking care

• He tucks her closer under his chin and she makes a sleepy itty bitty sound, tiny fingers fisting in his shirt. Her peach-fuzz hair is so so soft against his jaw. He imagines for a split second if he doesnt come out and claim her, if Ra's, if...

• He moves his hand to protect her head and dips his own head to kiss her. He wont let it happen. He cant.

• Babs clears her throat

• She explains that she had started a fake birth certificate a while back, but hadn't brought it to Tim yet because she didnt want to overwhelm him, thinking they had time. Shes got Eiras DOB, sex, height, weight, and Leslie's signature and date to say that she delivered the kid and saw her through to discharge

• She was going to have Tim physically sign it, but had to forge it instead

• Tim tells her thats fine. He can scribble right on top if they want, but she does good work.

• Babs still.looks uncomfy.

• A few others seem to realize why

• She explains softly that the reason she'd waited was because she didn't want to make him think about what to put down for Eira's mother.

• The room goes still

• Babs takes a deep breath and works through her split-second logic, eyes pleading for tim either to understand or forgive

• There was no way for her to forge something as Eira's birth mother, even if she had thought Tim would want that

• "I don't" he mutters. She doesn't deserve that. Not after she let Ra's (try to) KILL the baby she raped Tim to get

• Babs rushes, almost stumbles, through her explanation of why she didn't create a fictitious woman - how the hell to account for her and how they met, because there WOULD be questions, the possibility that Ra's could poke holes without a woman who could and would support the claim, the way it felt so degrading to Tim to make up some random rapist that would never be brought to justice or random lover who'd end up as some Unspoken Of Shame because a sympathetic human could never be produced...

• She takes a deep breath and says that if Tim had been older, she would have claimed Eira herself, be the one to take the "fall" for not having done the whole thing sooner. But Tim’s ten years her junior, she's been too publicly involved with Dick, and it would force them into a charade that would be too long and public and awkward for either of them

• Tim slowly nods and agrees, no offense babs, but he doesn't want to pretend he trysted with his big brother's girlfriend

• She nods and takes a deep breath and says that she... she forged Steph's signature for Eira's mother

• Tim's eyes widen

• Steph goes very still

• Barbara rushes to explain that she KNOWS they're not like that, but they ARE so so close, if it came to speaking up to something Ra's tried to pull, steph could and would, based on eira's looks, she COULD pass as their genetic daughter, steph already knows the whole story and wouldn't need to be brought up to speed, she already adores Eira, and Steph, she knows... she knows... she doesnt, she SWEARS she didnt choose her judt because...

• "Its ok" Steph says softly

• It... was a shock, for a minute. It still feels a bit weird, under her pounding heart. Because Steph already has a baby. Except she gave it up. Suddenly, in the eyes of... everyone, she's a mom again, but Eira isn't her kid. She didnt carry her, birth her, nurse her. Steph was not a person you trusted to be a mother

• At fifteen, she reminds herself. She's 18 now. She's 18, and her one act as a mother WAS to ensure her child went to a good, loving, stable home, the one she couldn't have provided.

• But now... she still doesn't have her act together, but this baby's dad is THERE. He's also got a huge family thats *there* and a house. Money for anything Eira needs. Steph... Steph isn't goingnto be tryijg to do it alone.

• And she and Tim aren't together, she doesn't know if they will again or wont but still, they've been best friends for years, they've gotten through their fights, and she KNOWS him. She loves him, and she loves Eira. And maybe that's enough. Just that she loves them and they love her, and *need* her too. Besides, Babs already signed her name

• Steph finds a smile, and hugs Tim and Eira a little tighter. His eyes are wide and worried, looking at her

• "Hey, I'll claim your lil cutie any day," she says

• Tim feels something unwind in his chest. He doesn't think he'd have ever asked but... but Steph feels right. He almost wishes it could be the way they're going to say it was. He can't summon a picture of mom and dad kind of love without wanting to throw up, but. He and Steph aren't and don't have to be that. She's the best friend hes ever had and... and best friends can raise a kid together

• Because he knows Steph will commit. If they're saying Tim is Eira's dad and Steph is Eira's mom... they used to talk about how their parents had done things, how they refused to follow those examples. But he and Steph have been a team for a long time. They can be a team in this. They're a good team.

• "She has your eyes," he jokes, rather weakly, but when their eyes meet, he knows they're both agreeing. They both look at babs and nod

• She looks incredibly relieved, even as she assures them both that she would have asked if she had ANY more time, and shes sorry she didn't

• But its ok. Tim looks around at his family. His dad, looking both sad and proud. His... stepmom? That'll take some getting used to, but Talia isn't Ras or Maat. Shes Damian and Jasons mom. She looks very mom like right now.

• His brothers, soft and only a little pained, Dick blinking very hard, Jason still looking understandably murderous, and Damian dazed as he holds Talia's hand

• His sisters, Babs relaxing and giving him a hesitant smile, Cass bouncing a little with what may either be rage or happiness, her face is too even to tell.

• His daughter, sleeping safe and sound against his heartbeat, untouched by the trauma that surrounds her

• His... His partner. Steady and warm at his side, determined and brave in this as she is in everything she cares about

• And for the first time, Tim really thinks it all might be ok.

[runnersnz]

"I first started running during my psychology doctorate. Before that I’d got into the gym, but probably more for aesthetic reasons than anything else. Clinical Psychology training was incredibly stressful: you're being evaluated all of the time and it took up so much headspace. I needed something that was just for me. My partner at the time was really into running, so I thought maybe I'll just give it a go and see if it's something that I enjoy too.

I started off running around the block. I remember the first time I ran 3km without stopping, and feeling like a superstar, thinking:, “Oh my God, I can run 3k, how amazing is this?”  Running was really different to any other form of exercise I'd done before. I think because I tend to have quite a busy brain, it was probably one of the only spaces where that busyness began to quiet down, and it just developed into being my happy place. It was where I could problem solve, and things that were stressful, didn't feel so stressful anymore. It was also an opportunity to be in the moment and forget about everything else; just  focus on running and moving my body.

Around 2010-2011  I hadn't been running very far, and  I decided to run a half marathon. I  thought “well, why not? Let's give it a go and see if I can do it.” It sounded like a wild impossible distance back then, but I did it with a group of friends while I was  in the UK. We all dressed up as superheroes; I dressed up as Wonder Woman and my friend was She-Ra,  we had a Spider Man and a Superman and it was just heaps of fun - I loved it. I followed a programme and trained really, really hard and the race went by quite quickly. That made me fall in love with running and got me thinking, “well I've done a half, what if I did a full marathon?” So I signed up for the Berlin Marathon! That was amazing, because of the crowds, and the support, and getting to travel.  I realised running marathons was a good reason to explore a new city, have a little holiday (and run as well). 

I met other psychologists through my doctorate training and after I’d qualified, who were   into running as well. We formed a little Psychologist running group and did heaps of road marathons together, Paris, Dublin and I've done London a couple of times too. I was definitely a road runner at the time. In London it’s a real effort to access wild nature spaces or trails!

Running was very much my happy space. It was time with friends. We all worked at hospitals at the time so we used to meet up after we'd finished some pretty challenging days and run home together (and then often go for pizza and wine!). It was just a really joyous fun thing to do and a way to unwind. 

For me, I really enjoy the mental side of running and the mental challenge of it. You can go through so many different emotions and thoughts while running. You can totally go to the “dark side” and have an absolutely awful time, and then you can do exactly the same amount of training, work just as hard, run the exact same distance, but be in a really positive headspace, and have the best time ever.  I find it so interesting how mindset impacts performance. And then there’s the human connection as well. I think that was probably what kept me running. 

Also working in physical health, paediatrics, and  with chronic illness, with people who couldn't run - it just gave you a real appreciation and gratitude that you could do this, and you didn't have to, it was a choice; that you can move your body and be so appreciative for what your body can do.

I moved to New Zealand in 2016 with my now husband. He is a Kiwi and poached me over, not that I needed too much convincing. I carried on with road marathons while living in Auckland, and then I saw the Tarawera 50km - it just popped up on Instagram and I thought, “oh that sounds exciting, I've never done that before!”

I had no idea how to train for a 50km, or elevation or on trails, but I just gave it a crack and loved it so much: the community around Tarawera, how beautiful it is, how far your two feet can carry you... and from there I completely converted to trail running. I 100% love the trails. There's so much to it, the scenery and the places you can go, but it's the people as well. I just think the trail community is so inclusive, embracing and friendly, and it feels like an entirely different attitude to running. When I was doing road running, my motivation was all about PB’s, pace, time and always wanting to get faster. Whereas trails for me feel  supportive, always chatting to new people and being immersed in nature (as well as the  mobile picnic).

I think I always had this drive to see what I can do. I did a few 50s and then thought “would it be crazy to try 100k?” I signed up to do the Taupō 100km and went into that thinking, “What am I doing? I have no concept of whether I can do this or how my body is going to cope!” But again, I had an awesome time and just loved it. There's a photo of me when I came across the finish line, just looking so shocked that I'd made it there. Then naturally, I thought, well, I've done 100k, let's give a Miler a go. But I had no idea how to train for 160km, so that's when I linked in with my coach, Vajin Armstrong, mid 2020. He's still my coach and he's awesome. The Miler is probably still my favourite experience. Definitely had some dark spaces and challenges within it. I hallucinated during the nighttime section - I saw, well, I thought I saw, sea turtles hatching eggs on the edge of the lake. The only reason that I didn't go closer to what I thought were sea turtles (luckily, as it was probably the edge of a cliff) was that David Attenborough was in my head saying you’re not supposed to disturb them. So I carried on. I saw my crew at the next checkpoint and very enthusiastically told them what an amazing, special experience I'd had, witnessing sea turtles... I think they patted me on the head and said, “OK, eat some potatoes”.  The Miler really emphasised how much ultramarathons are a team sport. There’s no way I could have got to the finish line without my crew.

It was that experience, the Miler, that made me want to get into sports psychology and have my own clinic. I think because you can train your body to a certain point, but you can't get any further unless you train your mind as well. My experience in running led me to think about performance and mindset, as well as all the other things that impact athletes such as eating concerns, body image, feeling confident in your body, plus injury recovery, complex pain and mood.

After the Miler I had a while where I felt like everything's easy now because I've done a Miler... Which is stupid because all distances are still a challenge and you still need to put in effort and training. I lacked motivation and lost a bit of my running mojo and went through a phase of not committing as much time to training, having an overly relaxed approach and then DNF-ing quite a lot. 

When we moved to Christchurch a couple of years ago my focus shifted. It turned much more into going on adventures, going to different places, doing lots of tramping and just trying to say yes to fun things. At one point I was doing a race nearly every month in the North Island, so I backed off from that and just tried to appreciate running, nature and moving my body again; not always having to be thinking about the next thing!

Having said that, I've now just signed up for a flurry of ultras and races. I've had my little racing hiatus, I’ve enjoyed adventures and exploring the mountains, but it’s time to work towards some races and new challenges again."

Lotte @ascent_psychology (Christchurch) Photo taken on the Kepler Track – Portraits of Runners + their stories @RunnersNZ

[camilieroart]

WELCOME TO COLORCODED (part 2)

Colorcoded 1st Masterpost : . Colorcoded 2nd unedited rant : Art of 2nd, 3rd, 6th and 10th images by @calista-222​ Under the cut : Infos about Metalhead, April, Casey and Splinter.

Colorcoded!Metalhead lore : -Meets for short -They/them -Is mute, communicate through their own invented sign language (3 fingers family)

-Backstory time :

Meets is a self-learning AI, proudly made by Donnie, that then grew scared of it because of superstition and well, movies. He decided to shut him down. Much to everyone's surprise, Metalhead isn't really kin on dying, so he fought back and escaped. At that point Donnie believes he created a powerful super-villain and he's full on having a panic meltdown. His brothers and friends reassures him and help him go looking for it. They all have a lot of trouble finding it, until they realize it's with the Mutanimals, hiding. They took it in thinking it was a really fucked up mutant. The turtle family bust in, explains the situation and the Mutanimals are like "... I don't know mate they seem pretty cool. Have you tried talking to them before going on a rampage ?" Donnie is confused (cough cough movies) and looks at Metalhead and they look DOWNRIGHT TERRIFIED. And then the turtle family looks at each other and go : oh. Ohhhhh we were huge assholes there for a hot minute. Anyway, they're adopted now. -Tiny metallic version of the turtles -Colorcoded Pink -No mouth but overly expressive eyes. -Raph is the best at learning the sign language, Donnie second, Mikey third and Leo is bad at it but he’s trying. -They’re interested in science for it’s capacity of Explaining Everything -They like the science of people as well. -They love gossiping with Raph, and can be quite obnoxious about it (abilities such as seeing through walls and enhanced hearing) -The reason Raph is the best at learning the language is because he’s very motivated by the idea of gossiping more with his sibling. -Share their room with Shelldon -Interested in “science” in the broad way, they like all fields. -Learn engineering with Don and go get infos about other fields elsewhere. -Donnie is the 2nd most motivated to learn the sign language because of when they work on a project together, he sometimes give a task to Metalhead but they can’t communicate about it and it frustrates Don. -Meets sometimes acts as the Mikey Babysitter tm. When Mikey fucks up Meets is usually the one to clean up. -Mikey is the one that tries his very best to make Meets feels welcome and part of the family. Meets deeply appreciate it. -Leo is put off by the whole situation and it takes him a while to warm up to them, which is why he’s the last at understanding the language, far, far behind Mikey. -Splinter immediatly saw them as the reasonnable spawn, and keeps their brothers away from stupid teen shit. He didn’t expect Metalhead to also do stupid teen shit. -April and Casey thinks the turtles getting a robot brother is hella metal. (Donnie picks up : “it is indeed pretty “metal”, since it’s a bot” For more infos about Metalhead, go check out the second part of the Colorcoded Unedited rant

Art by @calista-222​

Art by @calista-222​

Colorcoded!Casey lore : -Casey is American-Korean -Unofficial korean name (not on papers) is Deok-Su (덕수) -He has a little sister named Hye-Jin (혜진) -Casey’s mom is american and out of the picture (abusive) -Casey’s dad is Jong-Min (종민) -Their last name is Ra -Hye-Jin only speaks Korean, and Casey is bilingual. -Casey has a weird rivalry with Buckle, Raph’s pet dog-mouser. There’s a whole lore about that in Colorcoded Rant Part 2 (recommanded) Colorcoded!April lore : -April is Canadian -Her dad knows about the turtles, but not that they are a danger magnet. -April has no ninja training but she does help the team by being the Gun Person. -The gun’s name is Cassandra, Casey for short -April can get REALLY intense when talking about things she’s interested about, which got her bullied and left alone until Casey (the Jones), and the turtles. -If her friends gets “bullied” she can and will go into a blind rage and try to deck anyone that hurted them -She’s a stress cleaner For more infos about April and Casey, go check out the second part of the Colorcoded Unedited rant

(Not a lot of art of Splintey yet, because he’s scary to draw. I’ll get around it tho)

Colorcoded!Splinter lore : -In his story, Yoshi was actually the greedy and “evil” one, and learned from his mistake -Yoshi's life is basically : Good childhood ! Good clan ! Bad, leave clan Good, love new clan ! Bad, start war Bad, leave forever Bad, guilt for years Good, learn to live anyway Bad, spiraling back into guilt Good, found turtles Good, made family Good, changed for the better Good, is being the best dad I can be Good, happy :) -Really good dad and pays attention to his sons -He learned to cook food for them -When he noticed their interest in pizza he learned to make it -He encourages all kind of activities outside ninja training -Never closed his bedroom door in case they wanted to sleep with him because of nightmares or just because they wanted to -When they were small, read a story for them before bed. -Splinter took care of the boys’ education, learning more as world evolved to keep them up to date. -During the night Splinter would take them for picnics in an abandonned area when they expressed the desire to go outside -He did the Talk when April started to come by often. It was never a taboo subject and the kids were comfortable about it until Splinter explained the differences between theirs and humans anatomy with pictures. -Heavily respects their privacy. Always knocks on their doors, never go through any of their belongings. -He has a ton of pictures of them in his room. -He often tells them how proud he is -He hangs out with them most of the time unless they don’t want to. For more infos about Yoshi’s backtory, go check out second part of the Colorcoded Unedited rant

[padfoot-and-prongsie]

Noisy Neighbors || Fred Weasley College!AU

Character: Fred Weasley

Word Count: 1.5k

Requested: Yes!

Summary: You are summoned from your peaceful Friday evening to deal with the rowdy dorm boys next door.

Warnings: Cheeky Fred ;)

Disclaimer: I did not make this gif! Credit to the talented lovely who did

A/N: I'm back! Testing season is finally over and my writing time is here again. Thank you so much for being patient with me <3

PLEASE DO NOT COPY OR STEAL MY WORK. REBLOGS ARE JUST FINE :)

You settled onto your creaky dorm bed, a bowl of microwave popcorn in hand and your laptop tuned into the next episode of New Girl. It was a Friday night, you had no pressing homework, and you planned to binge the rest of season 4. 

“Who’s that girl, yeah who’s that girl,” you sang along with the theme song. Jessica Day was dancing along your laptop screen. “It’s Jess!” you finished dramatically, throwing several popcorn pieces into your mouth. 

There was a sharp knock on your door.

“You have got to be kidding me,” you muttered, pausing your favorite show.

You got off your bed, and slowly walked over to the door. You barely had it open when the person on the other side asked extremely quickly. “Are you the Residence Assistant?”

You blinked slowly, taking in the girl with the large bushy brown hair on the other side. “Is that what the sign says?” you asked boredly. 

You watched the girl’s eyes dart to the two letters “RA” that were stuck to your door. You had originally signed up for the position because it got you a cheaper room than renting an apartment would and let you live by yourself. You had thought it would be easy. What you hadn’t accounted for was the obnoxious residents like this girl who would pound at your door at every ungodly hour when they had a problem.

“If it’s a maintenance issue come back in the morning, nobody is here to fix that now,” you rattled off, having had to say that line several dozen times a month.

“Oh no it’s not that,” she said, furiously shaking her head. “The people next door to me are being extremely rowdy and obnoxious. I can’t focus enough to study.”

You sighed. “Have you tried the library?”

“That is beside the point,” she said quickly. “This is my dorm room and I expect a certain level of civility from the people sharing my walls.”

You could feel a headache coming on. It was a Friday night, she shouldn’t have her nose in a textbook.

“What’s the room number? I’ll go check it out in a little,” you said, having absolutely no intention of doing so. 

The girl scrunched up her nose to think. “Good heavens I can’t remember.”

Of course she can’t, you thought in annoyance.

“What’s your room number then?” you tried. “Are the people who are causing the issues on the left or right of you?”

“237,” she replied. “Now do you mean the left or right of when you’re in the hall or in my room looking out at the hall?”

“Bloody hell I don’t know,” you snapped. “Just pick one.”

Now you definitely were not going to check out the problem. This freshman was starting to get on your nerves.

“How about I come show you, it’ll be easier,” she decided.

“No, it would be easier if I checked later,” you corrected.

She ignored you. “Just come this way, I’m just over here.”

You groaned, but she was all the way down the hall.

“Are you coming?” she asked, turning to see why you weren’t directly beside her.

“Yes,” you muttered, cursing her in your head as you walked over to meet her.

She led you down to the end of the adjacent hall and took a left, finally stopping directly in front of room 236.

“This is them,” she said, pointing firmly at the wooden door.

“You can go back to your dorm now, I can take care of this,” you said. You were secretly hoping she would leave so you could go back to your show and popcorn.

“That’s okay, I can wait with you.”

Of course you can, you thought.

Accepting that she wasn’t going anywhere, you rapped loudly on the dorm room door.

You could hear the music that had been playing loudly turn off. There was a pad of footsteps and then the click of the door unlocking. The person behind it pulled it open. Your jaw dropped.

Standing on the other side and running a hand through his messy red hair was the most gorgeous guy you had ever seen. He had bright brown eyes that were taking you in in amusement and tousled red hair. His face was dotted in freckles that only seemed to soften his chiseled jaw. He was wearing a tight black shirt that did nothing to hide the defined muscles under it. You could see the outlines of his abs perfectly. 

You were not aware that you were staring until he reached out and closed your mouth with one long finger.

“Wouldn’t want to catch any flies there love,” he said, winking. 

You wanted to swoon.

He leaned against the door frame, crossing his arms in front of his chest. You were hyperly aware of his bulging biceps that were stretching against the fabric of his shirt.

“Can I help you?” he prompted.

“Huh- uh- what?” you managed to stutter. You shook her head sharply in an attempt to remind your brain to function.

He chuckled. “You’re the one who knocked on my door. I assume it wasn’t just to gawk.”

“She’s here to talk about you being disruptive,” the girl blurted out behind you. You had completely forgotten she was there.

“I was being disruptive?” he asked in amusement.

“Yes, your music is too loud,” she answered loudly. You turned around and glared at her. If she would just shut up for only a minute.

“Hmm really? I had no idea,” he mused.

You finally managed to pull yourself together. “You need to find a way to turn that sound system down because you’re disrupting the whole floor here.”

“The whole floor? That’s the first I’ve heard of this.”

“Listen, as the Resident Assistant it’s my job to make sure everyone on this floor is happy, and currently this one,” you pointed rather agitatedly at the bushy haired girl behind you, “is discontent with the volume of your music, so if you could please just turn it down for Pete’s sake.” 

The boy quirked an eyebrow, taking in the waves of annoyance that were seeping off you. “So you’re a Resident Assistant?” he asked.

“That’s not the point, your music is too loud!” the girl behind you interjected angrily.

You turned to her sharply. “Why don’t you go back to your room and let me handle this, you’ve done enough.”

Her cheeks turned a deep shade of red as she realized that she was getting on your nerves. Nodding softly, she turned and entered the room next door leaving you and the devilishly handsome redhead alone together in the hall.

“So you were sent to punish me?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

For some reason that question made your stomach flutter and your knees go weak 

“Uh, umm, I–” you stuttered, inwardly cursing yourself for letting him have this effect on you.

A smile quirked at his lips. “Are you trying to say something love?”

“Yes I am,” you respond, finding your voice again. “You gotta turn that music down buddy or else I’ll be hearing about it for the rest of night from her.” You jerked a thumb in the direction of the room the girl had just gone into.

He didn’t seem deterred. “Buddy?” he instead asked, letting out a chuckle.

God that was probably the hottest sound you had heard all day. You told your conscience to shut up.

“Well I wasn’t given a name, but that doesn’t matter anyways,” you said curtly. “Just turn the music down and I won’t come back and bother you.”

Now you seemed to catch his attention. “So you’re saying all I have to do is disruptively play my music and you’ll be pounding at my door?”

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, but I’ll be pissed if I have to come over here again.”

“Good thing you’re hot when you’re angry,” he winked. Your cheeks flushed red. “And when you’re flustered,” he added.

You couldn’t move for several seconds as your brain tried to start functioning again.

He raised an amused eyebrow. “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

“Uh yeah,” you muttered. You were annoyed with the effect he had on you. “I need your name for some paperwork I have to fill out.”

He grinned. “Fred Weasley.” Fred winked again. “I’m sure you’ll remember it.”

“That’ll do Weasley,” you said curtly. “Turn the music down and I’ll only write this up as a warning.”

“I appreciate your generosity there,” Fred grinned. “I’ll see you around RA.”

“Only if you disrupt your neighbors,” you said pointedly.

Fred smirked. “Then I’ll try to be as loud as possible if that gets you knocking on my door.”

~

Check out my other Fred Weasley fics:

Is That My Bra?

I Would Give You the World

Sneaking Around

Late Night Conversations

Drunken "I Do's"

Masterlist: Click Here

Other Fics:

Shut Up and Kiss Me -Sirius Black

You'd Probably Look Good in Green - Draco Malfoy

[mxtantrights]

past lives | 10

a/n: final part!! AHHHHHHH stay tuned for the epilogue!!! And thank you guys so much for coming on this journey with me. I really appreciate it and YOU! <3

You awoke to the smell of cement and dry wall. It smelled so bad you could feel it in your throat. Your eyes cleared up to the spectacle in front of you. It was Ra's and Nyssa with their arms crossed.

“Is this some sick parent teacher conference?” you joked.

“No games. You failed to deliver the package.” he said.

“You mean your grandson? The one who left of his own volition?”

“Nonsense he is the heir to everything I have. He can’t leave.”

You looked over more to your former friend, “Nice to see you too Nyssa.”

“Why didn’t you stick to the plan?” she asked.

You look at Ra’s and he’s already staring you down. You don’t think he’s told her. It would have been best not to. Withholding information is his favorite skill anyways.

You’re about to say something when Ra’s comes over and backhands you. It makes you curl in the chair they’ve put you in. You weren’t surprised, that didn’t make it any less worse however. 

He really doesn’t want her to know.

“All you had to do was seek him out. You couldn’t even do it.” 

His smack- you hate to say it- brought up a thought to the front of your mind. 

“When did you know about my father?” you asked.

It’s in words that Nyssa isn’t able to pick up on. You know. He knows. It’s clear he doesn’t want her to know. Another hint at telling her might earn you worse than a slap.

“After you came out of the pit. I looked into your identity some more and did some research.” he said.

“Tell me,” you move your arms bound to the back of the chair, “Did you spawn Damian afterwards because of me?”

“No, you’re not the reason. I had already been watching him for some time. You were just a happy coincidence.” he answered.

Ra's folds his hands behind his back and moves around Nyssa, and then around you. In a circle. The predator and the prey. What was Nyssa this time around?

“You never reached out.” you said directly to her.

“You left.” she shot back.

“He wanted me gone.” you nodded to her father.

“It was a test you imbecile!” she shouted.

It made you flinch. You realized that maybe Nyssa wasn’t going to let bygones be bygones. And from her stand point she didn’t have to. You hurt her. 

Ra’s circles around you once more. His eyes never left Nyssa though. It gave you a sickening feeling. How everyone was his pawns. Specifically Talia and Nyssa. The women in that family needed serious counseling after being brought up by a man like that.

“If it was a test then why did he let me live? The moment I stepped out the door I should have been dead!” you shouted back.

She stayed silent. So you continued.

“He’s lying to you Nyssa.” you said.

“She’s right I lied to you. It wasn’t part of some test.”

Nyssa turned to her father in shock. You were sat wondering why he would give himself up so easily. What did he have to play here?

Whatever it was could wait. He was far enough now to not strike you again. You needed to let her know.

“He wanted me as a back up for Damian. My half-brother.” you said.

Nyssa turned back to you and when she did Ra's smacked her too. You winced for her, his hand print would probably be on your face in a few minutes. Just like old times.

He turned to you.

“You ruined my plan to bring my grandson back. Now he knows I’m here.” he said.

“He ran away for good reason. I’m glad he did. I would've never handed him over to you anyways.” you spoke.

“You didn’t have to hand him to me, you were just going to serve him to me on a platter.”

“No. Because I know you were tracking me through my phone, both of them. You think I didn’t notice how heavy that flash drive is? I know a cloning device when I hold one. And the burner phone? That was cheap work.” 

He began to laugh. It made you sit further back in your seat. Him laughing was never a good sign. And it never sounded right. All those years in the pit must’ve done something to his laugh, along with the rest of his mind.

Ra's al Ghul came face to face with you. He wasn’t a pleasant man to look at. His breath even more telling on how close to death he is. But you looked him in the eye anyways.

“And that’s why you’re here. The bargaining chip. He’ll come for you, because just as you care for him he cares for you.”

He lets up and in the background you saw Nyssa shift her arm really quickly. You don’t know what it was for. 

-

The family had gotten a hit on your location. It had been four hours since you were taken. Everyone decided to suit up and hit the streets for the first two hours. Redhood and Red Robin took downtown, Nightwing enlisted the help of GCPD to search Midtown and Batman and Robin took Uptown. With the league they couldn’t be too careful.

In the middle of searching is when they got a comms message from Alfred. Your phone had pinged off a tower in Crime Alley. As Bruce and Damian were closest they began to head over to that neighborhood. The rest of the boys and some footmen from the GCPD were on their way over.

Batman and Robin got there and Alfred was able to narrow down the closest tower that your phone pinged off of. 

In the bat mobile Damian remained quiet. He had kept mum about the real reason you were there with him when Gotham Academy had caught on fire. Bruce could tell it was something he wanted to speak about alone.

“So what's the real reason?” 

Damian let out a sigh, “This isn’t our first meeting. We’ve had a relationship since I was born. Back on the island.”

“With the league?”

“Yes. It was sad when we could no longer see each other, grandfather had offered an out. I never thought we would see each other again.”

Bruce stayed quiet for a moment. All that could be heard was the engine of the batmobile. 

“Did you know you were related?”

“I found that out the same day as Gotham Academy. We had a conversation later that night.”

“You snuck out?” 

“I had to father. It was for good reason. We were able to put the pieces together. I said I would handle grandfather.” 

“Damian.”

“This has gone on for too long. It’s my fault. If something happens-”

“We’ll make it.”

Then he steps more on the gas.

- 

Your head lulled forward after the sixth blow he dealt you. It wasn’t like you earned it. He wanted to prove a point to Nyssa. That you were expendable to him. That in the grand scheme of things you didn’t matter.

“All that training, wasted! You can’t even get out of the restraints.” 

You swallowed the blood that was in your mouth, “What makes you think he’ll come for me?”

“We’re going to send a public ransom across all of Gotham. I figure a hundred thousand as the bounty will circulate enough to get to him. And then he’ll come and find you.”

“He’s just a child.”

“No he’s more than a child. He’s my grandson, the son of Bruce Wayne and Talia al Ghul.”

“And what does she think about all this?” 

“Enough!” he shouted.

You were punched again. 

“I’ll get someone to send the ransom around.” Nyssa’s voice said.

You lifted your head up to look at her but her back was already turned to you. This however did earn you another punch, to the gut this time, by Ra’s. You let out a disgusting sound at the impact.

“Instead of a coincidence you’ve become an inconvenience. This time I won’t put you in the pit.” 

“Why would you ever put me in there in the first place, huh? I was a no one! You  didn’t know me or my mother. You just snatched my body and made me one of your foot soldiers.” you screamed through the incoming headache.

He did that mechanical laugh again and you wanted to spit at him. You never thought he was a good man. All the things he did. The things he told you to do. You can’t absolve all of the blame but he was an undeniable reason why you did those things.

Drop offs turned into stake outs. Stake outs into undercover. Undercover into sedation. With him the lines were blurred, because there was supposed to be nothing you wouldn’t do for him. But you chose Damian. Or, you chose Damian’s new life over his old one. And he didn't like that one bit.

The door bused open and in came Batman. You didn't think you'd live to see him up close. It’s true that while in Gotham you would probably see him once or twice. But this?

You watched as Ra's attacked him on sight. It was like the two were in sync. Batman hit, Ra’s dodged. A kick here, a swerve there. They seemed to be equals. You know you could never pull that off. Ra’s would have you flat out in under a minute.

When Batman should have swerved he didn’t. And Ra’s got the best of him with a punch. This gave way to a kick to the side and a head pull into the ground. You struggled to get out of your restraints. It wasn’t looking good for either of you.

Ra’s picked him up, and you watched in horror as he hurled him toward you. Batman collided with you so hard that he broke the chair you were in. It sent you back into one of the many crates in the room.

Batman groaned as you lifted him off of you. You slid over to the side on the floor. He was definitely not light. He knocked the only wind out of you that remained after Ra’s punishment.

No more chair meant your hands were free.

You pulled your arms around to the front. You could try to take him like this. Even though you could hear him laughing in the foreground. 

“Here.” 

You looked over at Batman. He was holding out one of his knives, shaped like a bat. You took it without passing a comment on it. You passed the blade over the restraints and made quick work of them.

On your feet, the laughter stops. You inched closer and closer to him.

“I didn’t snatch your body, your mother handed you over when she found out you were murdered. She asked me for this!” he said.

You stopped. 

“What are you talking about?” 

“When you died she went to a very dark place. With how dark she got it didn’t take long for her to find one of my associates and get in contact with me. She begged for you to be brought back. Her child!”

You ran into the attack. The words that came from his mouth just made you see red. He threw his fists but you ducked and weaved. After weaving you landed multiple blows on him. You grabbed him by the shoulders and brought your knee into him. 

He went down a bit, only for a few seconds, then got his bearings back. Ra’s spit out the blood from his mouth.

“You’ll leave here with no parents. And it’ll be at my behest.” 

In through the door comes Robin. A robin with a face too familiar to hide behind a mask. 

“Grandfather!” the little robin shouted.

That makes you look behind you. At Batman. Bruce Wayne.

Your father was Batman. Your father.

[weclassybouquetfun]

Season 3. Three episodes. One crazy.

There was a run Justice League: The Rise of Arsenal where Green Arrow’s former sidekick Roy Harper/Arsenal’s daughter Lian is killed and in his grief he hallucinates that a dead cat is his daughter. To combat his grief he goes off to an alley to do heroin and fights off some baddies by using the aforementioned dead cat.   After that issue, someone commented, “Roy Harper making Jason Todd look sane.” Well, I think TITANS is giving Jason back the title of craziest sidekick. 

Call me Stephanie Brown because here be Spoiler(s).

How prescient was “Battle for the Cowl”?

I was late on watching the episodes but I saw some people on Twitter mad at the depiction of Bruce. I thought it was more complaints about the age of Iain Glen.

Kevin Conroy is six years older than Glen and no one complained about him as Bruce in BATWOMAN

Then as I continued watching I thought people were mad because of how quickly Bruce was seeking to replace Jason (which some are upset about).

credit to @dccomicsjokerm1 on Twitter

As if Bruce didn’t pick up wards like Alfred picked up socks.

But to me, it falls in line with how I view Bruce: an emotionally constipated person who has decided to divorce himself from attachments.  There was an issue of Batman pre-New 52 were Bruce called up all of his wards for a meeting where he told them he would no longer be Bruce Wayne, only Batman because he couldn’t have the people in his circle continually being used against him. I wish I could find the panel because everyone’s face was like, “Oh, Bruce’s being cray again - must be a day that ends with “y”.

But when I got to the end of the first (second?) episode I realized what it is that set everyone off.  Bruce finally did it - after Barbara told him he was as crazy as The Joker, and Dick finally co-signing on that, Bruce killed The Joker which was shocking for two reasons. We all know Batman doesn’t kill *directly*. Letting Ra’s al Ghul fall to his death in a careening train in “Batman Begins” is acceptable. Also, how about blaming Gotham’s poor infrastructure for that. Secondly shocking is that we could all surmise Arkham Asylum’s security was lax because The Joker and other inmates were always escaping, but Bruce killed The Joker inside Arkham and was able to stroll home to tell Dick with the weapon in hand like a dog bringing in a dead bird.

Arkham Guards to Bruce happy to be free of The Joker. 

People have decried the act as character assassination but I’m sanguine about it. There is 82 years of Batman stories canon and AUs; all valid. There is a Batman depiction for everyone. But Bruce’s behaviour in TITANS tracks to the depiction I like of Bruce.  Above all else Bruce lives for being Batman and there are stories over the ages where that is in-play.  Like the Superman and Batman story where Silver Banshee zaps Batman and Superman resulting in Bruce having Superman’s abilities and because Bruce is just a non-powered individual, Clark was able to be a civilian....which pissed Bruce off because with Superman’s abilities he was now free to go across the globe kicking people’s a**es like a vengeful Santa and couldn’t understand how Clark could dare want to live a peaceful life as Clark Kent when he could stamp out crime and stomp on people’s heads.   That left the JLA worried about Bruce so Dick volunteered to talk some sense into Bruce.

Didn’t work out so well for Dick.

There is a reason why Tim said this to Ra’s al Ghul.

Jason- Jason is my favourite Robin and while Jason is a killer he’s not in league with villains so this depiction was a bit jarring, but unlike Bruce who is so emotionally repressed, Jason is all emotion. So angry. 

It’s what killed him in the comics and what killed him in the show but unlike in the comics when he returned from the dead and wanted to kill Bruce for not avenging him, he’s killing Bruce’s legacy - his mission - everything he has lived for.  Which is why Jason let Bruce live in the comics - he wanted to be an ever present reminder of Bruce failing: his ward is now a killer. 

-It could just be coincidence but there were many moments that felt like direct homages to the comics and films like:

- Bomb device in Hank’s chest like the one The Joker implanted in that guy in “The Dark Knight”.  Same with the switcheroo with Dawn at the end of episode 3. 

Jason is the master of misdirection. In the comics he kidnapped Speedy/Mia Dearden, leading Bruce and Oliver on a chase to rescue her not realizing that Jason needed them busy while he let two rival gangs kill each other. 

And “Streets Run Red” where Jason, now a red-head for reasons - lets himself get arrested and sent Arkham so that he could kill a bunch of people. 

-Dick who is now more or less Batman, rushing to the building and one of Jason’s lackey’s falling onto his roof reminded me of the story where Jason maybe/probably/almost certainly pushed a pimp off the roof of a building as Batman was trying to reach them.

- Barbara and Dick talking about how Bruce screwed them up, which is something Bruce realized with Jason.

-How much smarter is it that Bruce would have a holographic dinosaur and coin? So much smarter. 

- I see what you did there. 

- As much as I didn’t like Hawk in season one I hate that he had to die.

Jason, you will never get a statue now. I mean, you didn’t get one before, but now you’re *really* not getting one. 

But I can see why they didn’t want to recast the role. 

I’m assuming Hawk is a goner because Ritchson will be too busy with the Jack Reacher series. 

where he reunites with Kristin Kreuk of SMALLVILLE.

Ritchson even reunited with the other cast recently.

[tearblossom]

Orbital Station Scene Analysis: Part 3

Lmao here we go again. Ready to fall even deeper down the rabbit hole that is this scene with me!? This one scene functions simultaneously as my source of joy and depression and I watch it more than I would care to admit. So, naturally, I have even more to say about it! It’s going to be long. Sorry.

Part 1- https://tearblossom.tumblr.com/post/645095661644251136/scene-analysis-this-is-just-what-i-personally-feel

Part 2- https://tearblossom.tumblr.com/post/645776311115186176/i-was-thinking-some-more-about-the-final-scene

In this one, I’ll be going into more detail explaining the emotional mask that I believe Takemura is trying so desperately to keep on during this scene (and undeniably fails at several times, with it coming off entirely upon the scene reaching a certain pivotal moment) and also pointing out the instances that I feel the mask slips occur. Honestly, it’s pretty easy to tell for reasons that I will explain. I’m going to reiterate the fact that I am not a facial expression/body language expert. This is just one human being looking at another human being and trying to figure them out. This is just my personal interpretation of this scene. Prepare yourself for many, many screenshots and gifs. Also, I will be using the same video sources as the other two posts because I don’t have my own footage. 

https://youtu.be/ra-Ij1KU8r4

https://youtu.be/PUmQqVOq5oY

I failed to mention before the reason that Takemura even had to put up the cruel facade in the first place because I didn’t want to state the obvious and insult everyone’s intelligence. We all know the reason but I’ll just say it here anyway: Arasaka. 

Arasaka is listening to Takemura’s every word so he literally cannot say shit to V that would hint at any sort of affection for him/her and absolutely nothing that would indicate any growing uncertainty in said corporation. Words mean nothing here. He has to speak through his eyes and expressions because that is all he has to offer, the only cards he has to play. That is why the meaning of this scene can be so easily missed and flies over so many people’s heads. I do not fault anyone that may have missed this on a first playthrough or even those that are still unaware of it whatsoever because Takemura is very, very convincing at first (his face becomes an open book once the contract gets brought out but we’ll get into that later) and besides, to truly understand something that involves emotions as complex as these caused by equally as complex reasons or anything involving subtext really, takes multiple viewings to truly appreciate.

In summary, what I believe is happening here is that during the entire scene up until the contract gets brought out, his mental state is constantly teetering on the edge of a cliff so to speak. He is trying so hard to fight his sentimentality and control his emotional responses not only to V’s misery and pain but also his own wavering faith in Arasaka because they are watching, listening, and monitoring. And he succeeds extremely well at first but it gets harder and harder for him to maintain the mask. The closer he physically gets to V, the harder it is to pretend, to hide. His eyes alone betray him on several occasions but eventually the whole facade just crumbles and he falls. And when the contract comes into play is when he truly, honestly looks at V and the communication through his eyes really begins.

Here is the key thing- it is the most important visual clue to understanding when things happen: When Takemura is feeling any doubt or his emotions begin to overwhelm him or he fears that they might, he promptly averts his eyes to get himself under control and readjusts the mask that has slipped. 

He looks away from V during these moments!

(Just to clarify, I don’t think that every single moment in the scene that he looks away from V has this deeper meaning behind it. When people talk it’s completely natural for them to turn their heads, avert their eyes to look at other things, etc. These are just some moments that particularly stood out to me as signs pointing to my little theory.) 

Okay...let’s start deciphering this conflicted, broken mess of a man.

Scene starts. Takemura is fiddling with the Rubik’s Cube. He puts it down. Expression cold as ice.

mask on full display in all of it’s glory

They talk about Saburo being back in the body of his son and have this exchange of words:

V: “Saw Saburo Arasaka’s back. In Yorinobu’s body.”

Goro: “Yes. Justice has been done.”

And then it happens for the first time...

(Could this be...doubt perhaps? Has justice really been done?)

Moving on- he walks over to stand behind the chair across from V, telling them of their imminent death.

Goro: “I will be blunt - the surgery did not help. You will be dead before winter.”

And then he proceeds to make this face immediately after...

(Lovely, isn’t it? Just full of sympathy. His mask game is strong. But don’t worry though because V wins in the end BIG TIME.)

Understandably, V gets very upset upon hearing this news.

V: “How... how’s that possible? Arasaka’s got the best and the brightest.”

And then something happens again. Whatever could it be, I wonder!

But wait, there’s more!

(He couldn’t even wait until he finished talking before looking away! It’s getting more difficult for him to look at V with a straight face every second! Also, his expression here is the most broken looking yet.) :(

He must not reveal what is hidden behind this emotional wall that he’s worked so hard to build up specifically for this meeting because the room they are speaking in may just as well be made of glass with Arasaka’s unrelenting gaze, an ever-present entity, on the other side of it. He will do so soon though, when he offers V salvation. The contract raises the stakes. The rules change. He feels the wall breaking and there isn’t anything he can do about it and he knows it.

IT’S CHAIR TIME, CHOOMS!

He looks away another 6 TIMES! Leaning more and more over that edge. Feast your eyes...

IT’S CONTRACT TIME, BABY!

Oh, shit!

It’s happening!!

He does look away here but there’s no mask on when he looks back...only despair.

It’s gone.

TO SIGN OR NOT TO SIGN

The disguise is off now. From this point onward, Takemura looks at V with his true feelings on display. This is where the ability to read the emotion portrayed solely through one’s eyes really comes into play because even though he’s not trying to hide anything anymore, he still can’t say what he really wants to say. We have to feel it through his expressions. His thoughts are so loud during these final moments of the scene that we don’t even need words to know what he’s saying.  

REFUSE TO SIGN

SIGN

HOLY GRAIL MOMENT!

(I’m literally going to copy and paste what I have in my part 2 analysis about this section because I explained my thoughts on it about as well as I am able to there and have nothing else to add. My apologies for repeating myself but I feel the exact same way about it so it still applies here.) 

These reactions make perfect sense because we’ve always known that he cares deeply for V and never stopped. He just couldn’t hide it! But even with this treasure trove of emotional mask slips and unintentional displays of affection, I still wasn’t sure exactly how deeply he cared for V. In other words- if he was actually in love with V or not.

Is he already in love or is he still in the process of falling in love? Is it just a friendly love? (hell no! I knew that was definitely not the case but I still had to ask just so I could cross it off the list!)

And then the two of them walked to the door and said their parting words.

V: “Gonna see each other again?”

Goro: “I believe we will.”

V: “So… see you.”

Goro: “Visit me in Kagawa - I will show you what is real food.”

And then…

he proceeded to make these faces…

HOLY

SHIT!

(The mask isn’t just gone now- it’s burned, splintered, shattered, exploded in a million pieces, disintegrated!)

This man just had the biggest revelation of his entire life: the realization that he is in love with V. These are looks of love and I will not be convinced otherwise. I’m not a facial expression expert or anything, only stating my humble opinions here, but are you seeing this!?

He realizes the truth and it catches him so off guard that he has to look away. He contemplates these newfound feelings and tries to sort them out in the few seconds that he has left with V. And he does. He accepts them. He welcomes them. The gentle, knowing look he gives V when he looks back at them is saying just this.

He also knows that he is now fucked because his love for V is going to complicate things so much more than they already were. Now that he is fully aware that he is in love, these feelings are going to directly conflict with his duties to Arasaka later if a situation arises that places V and Arasaka on opposing sides and I think we all know that is most definitely going to happen at some point.

And now he has to see the love of his life die and just leave this place and go on with his day. Damn. This is turning into one of the saddest love stories I’ve ever seen. Something major is going to happen in the dlc that is going to force his hand one way or another: V or Arasaka? I hope that Arasaka somehow fucks up so bad that it makes his choice easier but my heart breaks imagining the amount of conflict and torment that await him.

The Beginning and The End

[pennamesmith]

For Want of a Skeletor

Entrapta hosts a Princess Alliance meeting at the Crypto Castle and absolutely nothing goes wrong. More Skeletor stories!

*

The lights were on late in Dryl. 

Stars shone outside the windows. Entrapta sat hunched over her desk, studying datapads and readouts. A polite cough from the laboratory door caused her to look up from her work.

“Oh! I’m sorry Hordak, did I wake you?”

Her partner stepped softly into the room and shook his head. “Imp did. You know how he gets when either of us take too long to come to bed.” 

Hordak crossed the cluttered floor and joined Entrapta at the desk. He was holding Imp in his arms, and the smaller, winged clone whined plaintively when he saw her. Entrapta kept her screens on, but leaned gratefully into Hordak’s side and curled a tendril of hair around his waist. She yawned, despite herself. 

“I know. I just want to make sure I get everything right before the other princesses come over tomorrow.” She glanced back at the data, nervously tapping her fingertips together. “I’ve never hosted an Alliance meeting before! And this rescue will be our biggest mission since… well, you know. I don’t want to mess anything up.”

Hordak smiled. “Your diligence is admirable. But I also seem to recall someone telling me that imperfections are beautiful.”

Entrapta stuck out her tongue. “No fair.” 

“I’m afraid the science is sound. Come to bed, my dear.” 

The scientist scoffed, but she did not protest when Hordak gathered her up in his arms. She wrapped more of her hair around him, and Imp settled sleepily in the resulting nest. Entrapta could already feel herself drifting. 

“You will be a shining star tomorrow,” Hordak promised, as he carried his family back to rest. 

“Tomorrow,” echoed Imp.

*

The next day saw the Crypto Castle’s largest meeting room filled with princesses, dignitaries, and other honorary Alliance members. While Scorpia and Perfuma admired the tiny refreshments laid out for everyone, Mermista split her time between groaning at Sea Hawk’s boasts and trying every available chair to find the most comfortable one. Glimmer and Bow stepped uneasily around the edges of the room, watching carefully for anything that might be a trap, and Frosta followed their lead. Netossa and Spinnerella tried their best to find a chair Swift Wind could sit in. 

Adora and Catra, wearing increasingly baffled expressions, were conversing with two domestic-looking robots who sat at the head of the table next to Entrapta. One was tall and skinny, and the other wore a welded-on handlebar mustache. 

“Entrapta has parents?” Catra was asking, her face a galaxy of disbelief. 

“Adopted, technically. Or adapted,” the skinnier bot explained. “We’re Entrapta’s parental units. She built us when she was six. You must have seen the painting in the foyer.” 

“Yeah, we’ve been here pretty much the whole time,” the mustachioed model added. “You kids sure made a racket during your last few visits. What was that all about?” 

“Uh,” Adora faltered. 

To her immense relief, Hordak swept into the room at that very moment, flanked by Imp, Emily, and the reprogrammed Horde drone Entrapta had dubbed ‘Skeletor.’ 

“Welcome, everyone,” Hordak boomed, bringing the gathering to a respectful hush. 

“Witless fools! I’m in charge now! And if you know what’s good for you you’ll do as I say!” Skeletor shouted. 

Hordak scowled and shooed the fussing robot away from the table. “Pay no mind to that one,” he grumbled once he’d regained the floor. “Now then. Please allow me the honor of introducing the unparalleled mind who has made this operation possible, Princess Entrapta.” 

“Thank you all for coming!” Entrapta started, while everyone took their seats. “I know you’re all excited about what we’re planning, but there’s still a lot of preparation to do before we can take off. As the chief science officers for this mission, it’s vital that Hordak and I gather as much data on your abilities as possible! Interdimensional travel is severely unpredictable and —” 

“Hold on,” Mermista interrupted. “Exactly how high are the chances of us getting mutated by cosmic space energy or whatever? Because I only want cool mutations, not gross ones.” 

“Maybe thirty, thirty-five percent?” Entrapta guessed. She shrugged. “A lot of this is theoretical. You guys will be like my guinea pigs! By which I mean the small robotic animals in the castle I protect and care for. And experiment on, sometimes.” 

She laughed heartily. Glimmer and Bow shared a nervous glance. Perfuma turned slightly green. 

Entrapta regained her composure and pointed back to the display board. “Ahem. Anyway, the good news is we already know some things about where we’re going! Probably.” She shuffled her notes, gaining confidence as she spoke.

“Before Adora found the Sword of Protection, historians debated ancient records of She-Ra. Some claimed she was called ‘Her-Ra’ and fought for the ‘Power of Grayskull.’ But I theorize that what those archaeologists actually uncovered was evidence of —”

“I have a question!” Frosta yelled. “Will there be hunky guys in the other dimension? I’m asking for a friend.”

“It’s funny you mention that, actually,” Entrapta replied. “Listen, just let me finish and…” 

Unfortunately, anxious impatience had already gripped the assembled Alliance members. They clamored with questions, all talking at the same time. Entrapta shrank back in her seat and pulled her welding mask down, seeming to reach for something under the table. 

Hordak stood up. Just as it looked like he was about to do something violent, a loud alarm sounded and the lights in the room flashed red. 

“Uh-oh.” Entrapta glanced around at the assembled company. “Um, get ready to tuck and roll everybody!”

“Get ready to what?” Mermista cried out, but it was already too late. Multiple trap doors swung open across the meeting room floor, and with flailing limbs and startled shouts the guests were sent tumbling down chutes in every direction. In moments they had all vanished.

“I always feel so much better after doing something bad!” Skeletor cackled. “Now we begin phase two!” 

*

Adora and Catra, who had clung to each other as they fell, landed with a bump in a darkened, underground space. As soon as they arrived, bright lights flickered to life and a huge screen lit up against the wall. 

Entrapta’s face appeared on the monitor, larger than life. “Oh good! You’re alive,” she chirped when she saw the other two. 

Adora clambered to her feet. “Entrapta! What’s going on?” 

The scientist glanced away. “Well, I guess Skeletor didn’t like that we were ignoring him. So he stole my map of the castle and activated the security systems! Which means we’re all lost in the labyrinth until I can catch him. Isn’t that great?” 

“It’s something,” Catra groaned, rubbing her head. 

“Exactly! Now, without my map I can’t come find you. But if you can make it through the traps, the hallway you’re in should take you back to the meeting room. Then you’ll be safe until I can fix things!” 

The screen dimmed again before Catra or Adora could protest. Left with few other options, they turned to get a good look at whatever dangers lay ahead. 

They were standing at one end of a long corridor. Square blocks floated along its length, suspended in midair with anti-gravitational tech. An interrogative punctuation mark flashed on one, while a squat robot with painted-on angry eyebrows shambled slowly back and forth beneath it. 

Catra took it all in. “You have got to be kidding.” 

Adora had already drawn her sword and begun to venture forward. Catra was about to follow her, when something made her ears flick. A suspicious frown crossed her face.

“Hey, Adora!” Catra called. “Listen!” 

“What?” 

Catra pressed her ear to the wall. “There! Do you hear that?” 

“Obviously not,” Adora huffed. “Now stop dawdling, the first puzzle looks pretty easy.” 

Catra stayed where she was. “Hold on a second. This part of the castle feels familiar. I remember walking through here back when, uh, back when it was still Horde territory.” She coughed awkwardly, and then reached up to tilt the frame of a big-eyed kitten painting. “Look!” 

Something clicked and the wall slid open, revealing a new passageway. Distinctive laughter could be heard coming from the other end of it. A purple neon sign reading “Secret Entrance!!!” buzzed to life. 

Adora sighed and rolled her eyes. 

“One time Entrapta had me and Scorpia over for a life-size Snakemen and Ladders game that got a little out of hand,” Catra explained as they entered the tunnel. At the far end there was a brightly lit office; inside, it was filled with laboratory equipment, video monitors, and a humble but dignified desk. 

Hordak was sitting at the desk, in what appeared to be a smaller version of his old Fright Zone throne. It swiveled. Entrapta was sitting on the desk, and she waved as the other couple entered. 

“Myaah! Sleep gas and stun-rays only, my evil minions!” muttered Skeletor, who was busy working the video monitors. On closer inspection, Adora realized that each of them showed some of the other princesses as they traversed the castle labyrinth. 

“Welcome to mission control!” Entrapta sang, spreading her arms wide. “Hordak didn’t think you’d find us, but I had a hypothesis you might.” 

“It was a ruse!” Adora gasped, scandalized. “You’re not lost at all!” 

“You really need to hang out with Entrapta more if that still surprises you,” Catra observed. She looked at the monitors. “Ah, are they gonna be okay?” 

“Better than!” Entrapta sprang off the desk, hanging by her hair as she showed off multiple datapads. “Everyone was getting a little… distracted upstairs, so I just decided to speed things up a teensy bit! The princesses using their powers to escape the maze will let me get all the readings we need, and then we can have a nice little party! I had the baker make tiny cakes.” 

“I made sure Hordak’s doomberry pie was especially tasty!” Skeletor piped up. 

“And it’s all perfectly safe!” Entrapta promised. Discreetly, a ribbon of hair reached out to push a blinking button. On the monitors, Mermista and Sea Hawk were rescued from a robot shark attack by a convenient change of the currents. 

“This is hilarious,” Catra laughed, looking more closely. On one of the screens, Swift Wind was gleefully running loop-de-loops along a curving racetrack. “I think they’re actually having fun in there. Can we stay and watch?” 

“I’m afraid not,” Hordak said. She-Ra’s — and your — assessment is the most important of all. But we’d love to have you over to the castle for dinner soon. Shall we say eight o’clock next week?” 

“That sounds nice!” Adora chimed, before Catra could stop her. 

“Splendid. I’ll cook,” Hordak concluded. Then he pressed a button on his desk, and a trapdoor sent the younger women plummeting through the floor. 

Catra and Adora yelped in surprise, only for their fall to be cut short by an enormous pile of pillows on the level below. They struggled to their feet. Another corridor stretched away in front of them, filled with further challenges. Floating gold coins, each about four feet tall, indicated a pathway. 

“Try not to have too much fun,” Hordak called good-naturedly as the trapdoor slid shut. 

“Use the warp zone! It’s faster!” Entrapta added. 

“Have a nice trip down!” said Skeletor. 

*

Hordak settled back in his chair (it had soft armrests, and a cushion for lumbar support) and watched his partner at work. Entrapta flitted from screen to screen, taking notes and making adjustments. On one display, Bow and Glimmer had met up with Netossa and Spinnerella while navigating a cage minefield. On another, Frosta was making an ice bridge to help Perfuma and Scorpia cross a slow-moving spike trap. 

“I’m sorry you had to use your backup plan. They really are utter fools if they ever doubted your genius,” Hordak mused. 

“Different people have different strengths and weaknesses,” Entrapta replied, without looking up from her work. “And a good scientist collaborates whenever they can! Even if that requires a little creativity sometimes.” 

Hordak nodded. “Fair enough. Nevertheless, I would not blame you if you wished to have nothing more to do with the Princess Alliance. Even their attempts to help you can seem… insensitive. You’re not obligated to forgive that.” 

Skeletor looked up from his control panel and shook a fist. “Don’t you get awfully tired of being a hero all the time? Don’t you ever feel like doing something evil?” 

“They’re trying to be good friends,” Entrapta defended. “And so am I. And if I really did need their help, maybe things would be different. But I’ve got it all under control!” 

She vaulted across the room, flipping switches and turning dials along the way. On the monitors, Perfuma’s fall from a tall platform was gently broken by a sudden anti-gravitational field. 

“Besides, forgiveness isn’t always about the person being forgiven. It’s also about taking back potential energy that was lost.” 

“Did you learn that in my brother’s therapy group?” Hordak asked. 

Entrapta smirked. “Actually, he got it from me.” 

A pleasant ding sounded and Entrapta clapped her hair. “Hooray, everyone made it back! I’ll calculate the high scores and then we can continue the social experiment!” 

“You astonish me every day,” Hordak purred as he rose to follow her. Entrapta put out her hand, and he took it. 

“Wait for me!” Skeletor cried out. “You might get lost by yourself!” 

*

One week later, a much smaller gathering of royals met in Dryl. 

Catra and Adora sat together in one of the Crypto Castle’s least intimidating dining rooms, listening with barely-contained delight as Entrapta’s parental units thoroughly embarrassed their former boss. 

“...And so I said to him, ‘I have charging ports Hordak, can you download raw data offa me?’ Ha! Oh, you shoulda seen his face!” 

Hordak slouched in his chair. “I do not think we need to bore our guests with the details of this particular story,” he protested, feebly. 

“Oh, I’m not bored at all! I want to hear everything,” Catra said. She leaned forward, grinning. “So, was this before or after you hooked him up to the lie detector?” 

Entrapta giggled, and gave Hordak a gentle pat on the shoulder as she reached for another helping of his tiny quiche. All things considered, the night was going surprisingly well. 

It was exactly what Entrapta wanted. 

After dinner, wheeled bots carted away the leftovers and dirty dishes. Hordak poured coffee for himself and Adora, and the parental units retired to wherever it was they lived in the cavernous castle. Entrapta, lost in thought as usual, felt a familiar feline presence approach her. 

“Thank you,” Catra said, sincerely. “Not just for this. For everything. For being so nice all the time. For making this mission happen. It means a lot to me.” 

Entrapta smiled softly. “To me, too. Everyone makes mistakes. It would be a shame not to learn from them when we can.” 

“Did you say something?” Skeletor squawked, suddenly materializing in the doorway. 

Entrapta, unbothered, immediately produced a datapad. “Oh we’re just talking about the big rescue mission! Actually, you should probably take a look at my data, Skeletor. I haven’t told you much yet, and we might need you!” She held the blinking screen out happily. 

Skeletor looked at the datapad. At first he seemed confused; then he boggled as he registered the information in front of him. “Eternia?” he gasped in disbelief. “Grayskull?” 

His voice rose to a fevered pitch. “He-Man!”

For once, Skeletor had no words. He shrieked incomprehensibly instead, fists shaking. 

Hordak chuckled. “It’ll be just like the old days!” 

Skeletor screamed. 

[clouditae]

First Love | 03

Yoongi x reader | 18+ | college au | tattoo artist au | angst | fluff | swearing

Word: 2k

You first saw him in the multi-purpose room. Later learn his name, and on your third year, as he becomes your neighbor, you discover his lifestyle. Knowing your crush on him was nothing but that, you wanted to find the courage to look for love. Asking your friend for help, you’re pointed in the direction of the expert. Your neighbor, Min Yoongi

Chapter Index

You stare down at your phone in confusion. 

[5:29 pm] Jerk: Multi-purpose room. 9pm. 

“I thought he didn't want to meet in public?” you mumble, locking the screen to your phone before hopping into the shuttle. You take a seat at the front, sitting by the window. You can’t help but wonder what it is that he wants today—especially in the multi-purpose room where people hang out all the time.

 As the shuttle takes off, you watch the people pass by as the vehicle makes two more stops on campus before driving off campus and heading towards your dorm. The ride is rather quiet, with two or three people sitting further in the back as you listen to the melody of the song playing through your earphones.  

By the time you reach the dorms, the sun is gone, and you only have an hour to grab dinner before the dining hall closes. You're not expecting to study for so long, but with your first big exam coming up, you need to study as much as possible. Exiting the shuttle, you make your way straight towards the dining hall. After doing your usual routine: ID, food, sit and eat, you’re making your way towards your room. You check the time on your phone and can’t help but let out a sigh as you read the time. With only an hour of time to prepare before you throw yourself into the social world, you enter your room to lie in bed, your feet dangling off the edge, and charge yourself. 

“You’re going to bed already?” Ari asks, as you collapse face first on your bed. Your reply is a mumble, resulting in her saying, “What? I can’t understand you.”

You sigh, turning your head to look at her. “He wants to meet in the MPR,” you say again. 

“Oh. Ew. You have to socialize downstairs?” You let out a whiney moan in response. “What time are you supposed to meet him?” she questions. 

“Nine.”

You can see her look of disgust as she stares at you. “Who does that?” 

“Apparently him,” you tell her. “Can you text him for me and tell him I died?”

She laughs. “You think he won’t just come up here and drag you out? He is our neighbor after all.” 

“He is not that dedicated to helping me.”

“Helping you, probably not—no offence, but getting help from Hoseok just to help you? He’s beyond dedicated,” she informs.

You push yourself up, only to slide off the bed. “Hoseok is helping Yoongi just so Yoongi can help me because I asked Hoseok for help?”

You can see the slight look of confusion on her face from the way you worded the question, but she tells you, “Yeah. I told him he doesn’t have to, but he insisted, so you have to go through with this.” 

You want to tell her to have Hoseok stop. He shouldn’t have to go through such lengths just to help you, but when you remembered the excited look on his face when you asked for help, you can’t ask Ari to stop him. You run your hands through your hair. “Fine,” you mumble.

As nine creeps closer, your heart and mind race until eventually, it’s time for you to go downstairs. 

With all the courage you can muster, you leave your room with Ari giving you the thumbs up. That courage immediately dies when you reach the bottom step to the first floor. All you have to do is walk out the door, walk past the first floor laundry room, and past the mailboxes. Then you’re standing at the doorway to the MPR. When you finally exit the stairwell, the laundry room next to you with the sound of both the washers and dryers running, you can hear the large group of people. 

You feel like you’re going to throw up. Who knew that socializing would freak you out this much. It’s ridiculous. 

Taking in a deep breath, you make your way towards the doorway, but that doesn't stop your racing heart. When you enter the room, you’re not expecting this many people. Usually the room has a few people scattered around all doing their own thing, but this place looks like it’s supposed to be a club with how many people are dancing and chatting with each other. Some even have red cups in their hands. You can't help but wonder if they’re drinking alcohol since it isn't allowed with plenty of underage students. That doesn’t stop them though. It is college after all. 

“You got this,” you whisper to yourself, fists clenching as you enter the room. You’re so lost in your own anxiety that you don’t even notice the blasting music until you’re standing in the outskirts of the crowd, watching them dance. They all look like they’re having fun, and you wish you can have fun like them, but you’ve never liked parties all that much. Too many people in one place, all clustered together scares you. It makes you want to leave, and it drains you trying to speak with a few people. Even now, as you watch a boy approach you, you feel yourself draining and fighting the urge to leave. 

“Hey,” he somewhat yells over the blaring music. 

“Hi,” you force out. 

He’s rather tall, his brown hair slightly gelled backed, wearing a green hoodie and black jeans. He looks pleasant and extremely friendly. 

“I know this is so random of me to come up to you, a complete stranger, but my boyfriend is forcing me to introduce myself.” He sticks his hand out toward you. “I'm Christopher.”

You shake his hand a bit skeptical. “Y/N.” You shake your head. “Why is your boyfriend forcing you to introduce yourself to me?” you can't help but ask. 

He smiles awkwardly. “I'm trying to become an RA next year, so he's forcing me to practice my bright personality and be more friendly.” 

You nod. “Ah. Okay.”

Suddenly another person appears, a big expectant smile on his face. “How did he do?” 

“Uh… he was friendly,” you tell him. 

It seems to be all they need to hear as they chat to one another happily, seeming to ignore you after that. Giving you a sign to walk away, you quickly slip away from the excited couple and make yourself go deeper in the room, but still in the outskirts. 

Your eyes wander around the crowd, but there is no sign of Yoongi. Why did he tell you to come if he isn't even going to show up himself? You don't want to give him the benefit of the doubt, so you wait. 

That was the dumbest thing you've ever done. After standing around for almost an hour, staring at everyone like some creeper, your ball your hands into a fist. You’re fuming. “That jerk,” you whisper. Without much thought, you’re heading for the exit. 

You’re going to give him a piece of your mind when you see him again. What did you ever see in him in the first place? He’s a jerk who clearly only cares about himself. He's probably with some girl in his room. That only makes you even more mad. 

You quickly walk around the room and leave, leaving the happy and social crowd. You stomp your way past the mailboxes, past the window that shows into the small room that only contains a round table and several chairs where students study together or alone, and pass the door to the dorm supervisor before reaching the door that leads to the stairwell and the student dorms.

You pull out your ID, pressing it against the chip card reader. With the sound of a beep, you pull the door open and step into the stairwell. 

You walk up the two flights of stairs until you reach the third floor and make a right towards your hall. Before you can pass the doorway that leads to your hall, a voice calls out, “Not sociable at all.”

You jump, turning around to find the culprit. Sitting at the third flight of stairs that lead to the roof, Yoongi looks up from his phone at you, his elbows propped on his knees. After your heart slows to a normal pace, you glare at him. “Where were you? Why tell me to go to the MPR if you weren’t even going to show?” 

“I told you to arrive at the MPR so that I can see how you interact with others and how you act in a party.” He stands up, walking down the stairs until he reaches the last step. He stares down at you, hands in the pockets of his gray sweats. The way he stares at you makes your heart race. It’s ridiculous that even though you hate the way he acts since you’ve met him a month ago, your heart disobeys your thoughts and races whenever he looks at you. What are you to do? What are you supposed to do when your feelings for him still linger even though you know who he is?

He takes that final step, being one step closer to you, and forcing you to step back. He cocks his head ever so slightly  to the side. “Do you have social anxiety?”

You try to not look as shocked as you do, but you know your eyes are wide and mouth slightly open as if he caught you stealing. Are you that easy to read? How could he know? 

“What makes you think that?” you question, trying to play it off like you don’t. It isn’t working.

He crosses his arms over his chest. “A friend of mine has social anxiety. He glances at doors when he’s desperate to leave. In the MPR, I noticed you kept glancing at the door and your lips were slightly moving as if you were talking to yourself.” 

“And that gives you the idea that I have anxiety?”

“My friend does the same thing. He’ll talk to himself to keep himself from running out of that room. He doesn’t like being by himself. Everyone is different, but if I’m wrong, and you don’t have social anxiety, tell me now so that I can correct myself,” he tells you. 

“Correct yourself how?” you ask, voice not as confident as it was before.

“If you don’t have social anxiety, you’re going to a party so I can see how you flirt with people,” he answers, brow raised. 

He knows. The way he’s staring at you with that expression that just says he knows you do. If you deny his allegations, you’ll eventually end up at a party full of people trying to flirt. They’ll judge you harshly, and that is not what you want. You cross your arms over your chest, mimicking his stance. 

“Okay, so I have social anxiety, what does that have to do with anything?”

He sighs, “It means that I have to teach and evaluate everything myself. Lessons will be more private rather than me watching you and telling you what to do differently.” 

You stare at him for a moment, processing the words he just said. “Private?” you whisper. 

He nods. “We’ll be in my room a lot more that we both like,” he finishes, walking around you and down the hall towards his room. He leaves you there in complete and utter shock.  

What are you going to do? What in the world are you going to do?

You don’t have to do this. 

No one is forcing you. 

But if you were to quit, would Hoseok’s feelings be hurt because you quit?

You couldn’t do that to him.

The sound of laughter brings you out of your thoughts. You turn around and walk down the hallway and enter your room. Ari looks up from her phone, a leg dangling over her bed. 

“If I feel uncomfortable at any moment, I quit,” you tell her, with every ounce of courage you can muster. 

She nods. “Any ounce of discomfort, you quit immediately, and I kick Yoongi’s ass.” 

You let out a breath. 

You’re in for a rollercoaster.

[ceoofanticatradora]

We need more anti C//A who are Adora stans (like you seem to be) so that people can understand that C///A is bad for Adora. Heck C//A is bad for Catra too, but the shippers don't seem to realize it. If Catra had been able to let Adora go maybe she could have healed instead of her festering and the abuse may have ended instead of escalated.

Hello Dear, welcome on my Blog and a big thank you for your message! Firstly I wanna apologize that this response is reaching you more than three full days, almost four later. Just real life getting into the way of my online presence (at least I got my A-Levels admission!) but I assure you that replying to you was on my To Do List the entire time. And while I could've typed something quick, I thought you deserved a full length response just as much as the person before you received. That goes for anyone really to ask/write me anything in the future.

Adora is a character that has flaws, her own interests, things she struggles with/is insecure about etc. but she also still works on being better (up to Season 5). This makes her relatable, fleshed out and overall three dimensional. Overall for me that makes Adora very likeable. Which is funny because when I first watched the show I thought of her as too goofy and felt like she as a character was overall just flat. Her character design did not speak to me either, the ponytail with the weird hair poof and these pointy shoulders of her jacket just really were not my taste. Isn't it amazing how perceptions can change?

As you can guess from that description I did not always stan Adora and she's probably still not my favorite character but over the almost two years I've been in this fandom I've grown rather fond of her. Other important characters to me are Kyle (a very relatable comfort character of mine, he learned to stand up for himself and others and I support that, f*ck Season 5 for barely acknowledging his existence), Lonnie (apart from treating Kyle badly (which I really do NOT support or excuse) I really love her, man, some women just do me like that, I mean she really stood up to Catra like that), Entrapta (I'm autistic too! It's great to have some representation, seeing the ableism/treatment she experiences in the show is not so much though), Seahawk (I don't even know why, I have some issues with his behavior towards Mermista at times but overall I love this dork), Scorpia (she reminds me of myself so much and I really wanna give her hugs, I'm so glad she chose to no longer let Catra treat her like that even though I will be forever salty she just immediately forgave her), Peekablue (I can explain this even less than Seahawk, especially since it was not even really him in the end but his existence somehow helped me cope with Season 5, without him I probably would've left this fandom ... and also my favorite color is blue) and Double Trouble (now there's enough people already critcizing how they're not exactly great Non-binary representation but this dramatic lizard will forever be in my heart, that reality check they gave Catra, basically slapping her in the face with facts was satisfying as h*ck, also I like lizards overall).

Now there's plenty of characters I like, dislike (or even hate) or am simply indifferent about but after all this is not a tier list but me talking about Adora, Catra and Catradora. Adora started off as this girl that was so sure what she was doing is right but once she was taught differently she was willing to leave everything she knew (except Catra, because she valued her despite everything) behind. And not only that, she broke out of the abuse cycle that Catra tried so hard to keep upright. And that is exactly what makes Adora such a good role model. She teaches children (or people) that:

Your past doesn't define what/who you are or what/who you can become

-> Adora used to be a Horde soldier and did not know where she came from, but nonetheless she found herself a family and became a hero that saved thousands of people

You can always change your mind and start a new life if you feel disappointed in what you are doing/who you are as a person

-> Basically the exact same point, Adora started a new life as she saw what the Horde really was and changed her mind about who to fight for

You deserve love too, be it platonic or romantic (or se*ual???) (If you're aro and/or ace just ignore the part that does not work for you)

-> While Adora for various reasons thought her only use was to please others and meet their needs and expectations (mostly due to Shadow Weaver and Catra) she learned to accept that she too deserves love and validation (if the love aspect would not have been focused on it being romantic love so she could smooch Catra in the finale this would've been a billion times better because she got love from her friends that showed her her real value)

You can walk away from something/someone, that does not make you egoistic/selfish

-> Adora walked away from the Horde, after Catra stubbornly refused to come with her despite many offers (basically Catra broke the promise, not Adora) from her too and that did not make her a "traitor" or "selfish", h*ck, Adora in the end did this for a bigger purpose too, even if part of it was her not wanting to live with such wrong morals

Your opinions, feelings etc. about a person/something can change and that is perfectly fine and valid, being able to change is part of what makes someone human

-> Adora's views on many things changed throughout the show: The Horde and the Rebellion, the First Ones, Catra, being She-Ra, herself, her priorities and so on ... she actually makes use of her brain, which is why Catra saying "Don't you ge it?" or calling her an idiot and dumb never sat right with me, she's a realistic character for shifting with her thoughts, feelings etc. and sometimes just does not fully think things through

You don't have to let other people treat you like sh*t (just because they have some issues they never worked through does not give them any right to let it out on you)

-> This point is obviously centered mostly around Catra and her abusing Adora almost every chance she gets, which is why Adora standing up for herself and not letting Catra blame her for her own decisions and mistakes is so important, "You made your choice, now live with it" is one of the most powerful lines throughout all the five Seasons

Now I'm sure there is still more to Adora's character than what I just listed and unfortunately almost all the points basically got pushed aside, well, Adora as a character got pushed aside in Season 5. All her growth, the things that made me love her, see her as great role model for so many people robbed of their value for the sake of making everything revolve around Catra. That brings me to her and how you are absolutely right that Catradora is harmful to both characters. Of course Adora is affected most by it in the end but Catra too is obviously suffering under the fandoms obsession and just the overall idea of them being romantically involved.

Just like with Adora the stans make almost everything about Catra over her relationship with Adora. She too can barely exist outside of it and if she wasn't the fan favorite she'd most likely would too be mostly in Fanarts that include Adora and not just her (if you google "Catra Fanart" most content is still Catra and Catra only but here and there Catradora still peaks through). But for whatever reason the fandom still views her more as her own person as the other ones? Catrouble and Scorptra Shippers might actually still get less hate than Glimmadora Shippers (I'm not denying they don't get any, they most certaintly do) which is just plain hypocricy and favorism. Kinda like the: A woman needs to be loyal to her husband and her husband only but if the husband wants to be active with other women that is perfectly fine because "that is just how men are" or how i like to call it ... sexism. Now in this case they are both women so it's not sexism but yo do get my point.

But much more importantly, Catra has an unhealthy obsession with Adora. Signs of that are for example:

Constantly talking about Adora, even when said person is not around (to Shadow Weaver, Scorpia etc.)

Obsessing over having control over Adora like in that one Episode "Are you kidding? I finally got control over Adora, I'm not giving that up!"

Building her entire character and her actions around Adora "We need to take Adora down", "Adora left me", "I'd rather see the whole world end than see you win!", also shown in Season 5 where she states she does save Glimmer only for Adora and not for Glimmer or to do the right thing

Getting aggressive or very emotional over Adora like clawing the wall, having nightmares etc. (destructive behavior towards herself and others)

Having no or barely any characteristics outside of her relationship with Adora like, we don't know her interests or likes and dislikes outside of being evil, obsessed with Adora, being abused by Shadow Weaver ...

Trying to force Adora to meet her needs and expectations regardless of Adora's owns

Sacrificing her oppurtunity to be happy in the Crimson Waste for the sake of her Adora obsession and being better than her at all costs

So yes, you were very right with saying that not putting Catra in a relationship with Adora would've benefited both characters. Catra could've learned to exist on her own, develop interests and a life outside of Adora. Learn to accept herself and eventually come to terms with her childhood abuse. She could've been free and not "the abusive cat girl that ended up with the person she unhealthily obsessed over to the point of no return" she kinda is now. Even if we ignore the whole "dating your long term abuser" part from Adora's side and "being rewarded" for horrible behavior, Catra alone is not giving a good example to people watching. As much as I dislike Catra, disdain her even, an ending where she is dependent on Adora, unable to stand on her own two legs after she led armies in war is not what I would wish for her, even with a decent redemption arc (that she did not get).

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Queen of Masks ~ Alfie Solomons

Life as a woman, in any country really, isn’t the best, unless you score a jackpot with the most gentle, sweetest man and you become his housewife and agree to be some kind of baby factory and a maid, should he not have enough to provide for one, and a chef, nonetheless.

However, there are enough ambitious women who have enough spite in their veins to trample over anyone standing in their path of success, and would spit on graves and crush cadavers under their heeled boots that they wear with much pride and conviction.

That is exactly the case of Y/N, a gorgeous woman who won against all odds and became a Veterinary Physician in London, Camden, to be precise, and had to work under an older man who had a clinic - But it was fine, she got to learn loads, and interacting with animals on a daily basis was enough to keep her going and not to answer to any provocation from her male colleague who was far inferior to her, intellectually and intuitively speaking.

And one day, after tending to a gorgeous black race stallion, a tall and broad man walked in with a Bullmastiff boy who, upon seeing her, managed to snatch away his chain leash and jumped on her, trampling her to the ground and licking her all over her face.

The man jumped in shock, trying to pry away his pet from the poor woman, only to notice she was laughing and that he face was bright like the sun, as she tried to wipe away all the slobber from her face.

“I’m so sorry, aye, he’s never done somethin’ like this before. Here, let me help you up, right.” the man extended his hand for her to take, helping raise her up, then reprimanded his dog. “Don’t worry, mister, it’s quite alright. I kinda like when animals act so affectionate, it makes it feel as if I’m doing something right. What’s your name, darling? Let’s get you up on the table...Arghh...What a heavy baby...You’re gonna break every bone in my body...” the woman sweet talked the dog, struggling to hold him in her arms like a baby so she could put in on the table to examine. “He’s name’s Cyril, I got him last year. ‘S just a routine check up, but I think there’s a bump on his neck, yeah, right here.” the man explained, letting the girl palpate his dog and continuing to sweet talk him to calm him down. “Thyroid Carcinoma.” the male doctor spoke, which made the girl whip her head to him with a disturbed look. “Thyroid Cancer? Surely, you must be joking. Have you even been to Vet school?!” Y/N protested, shaking her head in protest at his sudden diagnosis. “What else could a bump in the thyroid area mean? Don’t play smart, just be humble and accept when you’re wrong.” the man rolled his eyes, not lifting his head from his papers. “First of all, even if it IS a tumour, it doesn’t HAVE to be cancer, it can still be completely harmless, thus, benign. Secondly, out of all tumours a dog can have, thyroid cancer is the least common one, the percentage going to maximum 2%. Therefore, NOT cancer! Besides, it could be hyperthyroidism, if you want to go over the top, but again, it could just be something the owner felt because something got stuck in his neck and-....Oh.” the girl then carefully touched the neck area, and smiled widely, looking down, nodding to herself. “What? You shut up ‘cause you finally realised I was right, despite your useless statistics?” the doctor grumbled in annoyance, not caring, obviously. “Wanna bet 100 pounds that it’s not cancer?” she asked, kissing Cyril’s head and playing with his floppy ears, action which made the dog bark playfully. “Ah, sorry, mister, I didn’t ask for your name and whether you find it insensitive or not for us to bet on a diagnosis.” she smiled awkwardly, extending her hand towards the bearded man who was watching the interaction carefully. “Alfie Solomons, lass, but call me just Alfie, right? So, yeah, ‘s fine, bet all you want, just make my boy better, eh?” Alfie shook the girl’s hand, seeing her cunningly going to the other doctor and spitting in her hand to shake and make the bet go through.  “Okay, Alfie, you might want to step to the side a bit...If you value your shoes, that it. They look pretty new.” she chuckled softly, signing him with her head to move to the side, and so he did, as she made the dog vomit, and thus, revealing a small ball. “Oi, I can’t believe it! You stupid dog, Cyril, aye, how could you manage to swallow your own toy, yeah?!” Alfie gasped, his brows furrowing from shock. “Weirdly enough, dogs, especially big ones, are prone to swallowing little things, just like human babies are. It was small enough to just make him cough, but it’s a good thing you got him here in time.” the girl started quickly cleaning up the floor as she explained everything, as the Jew was still staring in shock at the idiocy of some animals. “Well, lass, thank you for solving the mystery, yeah, of whatever the hell this was, right. So, then, tell me how much I have to pay you for this consult, aye.” Alfie asked, which made her snap her head upwards, looking up at him, her eyes wide in shock. “No, God, no, nothing, it’s on me! I mean, if it weren’t for you...” Y/N smirked, reminding Alfie of a vixen, as she twirled around and went to snatch away the hundred pounds banknotes from her employer’s hand, who was looking at her with anger and bitterness. “I wouldn’t have been paid more than I’m paid in 3 months in just one day! It’s the least I can do to thank you...And to also see Cyril again, because I think it’s a connection. Right, Cyril? You’re such a sweet baby boy-....ARGH, GODS, NO-...!” but before the girl could compose herself, Cyril jumped on her torso, knocking her down again, coating her face in yet another sleek coat of drool from the lickings. “Damn it, Cyril, you’re impossible! Let the poor lass live, eh? I know, I know, she’s pretty, but leave her alone, alright?” after he finally managed to pry away the canine, he helped the girl up, who, once again, was laughing. “Let me make it up to you, yeah, for all the trouble this prankster’s been giving you, right. I’ve this bakery, y’know, the one nearby, so, anything you want, yeah, anything, you ask for it, you say my name, right, you say Alfie owes you a favour, and it’s all on the house, eh. How’s that.” he spoke, and he could see that her overly confident and extra demeanour shattered in an instant, making her look down, her beautiful, long hair hiding her features, as she was most likely blushing and smiling. “O-Oh, then, if that’s your bakery, means I’ve heard of you, you’re THE Alfie Solomons. Yeah, I’d love that, if you’d have me, but I told you, you don’t have to. I used you to get money worth of about 3 months, or more, so really, I should be thanking you somehow, but I don’t really have anything else to offer, other than to pay for the consult myself.” her serious, boastful voice turned very soft and shy, as fast as the flick of her fingers, as she walked him out of the clinic, so only he would hear. “Your boss there...He seemed kinda...Angry, eh. Are you gonna be fine dealing with him, lass?” he asked, bending down a bit, speaking to her tone level. “I guess. What’s the worst he can do, anyway. Besides, I care more about this conversation right now, and...About this.” she smirked softly, showing off the rolled pounds from her coat’s chest pocket. “So, Mr. Gangster, is there any specific time you’d be okay with me coming by the bakery? Maybe...Under the pretext of yet another regular check up on Cyril? Or...The smell of freshly baked cookies just captured me enough to find myself senselessly walking into the place?” she asked, diving her hands into her pockets, waiting for an answer, too timid to look him in the eye. “Ahhh, I see you’ve heard of me. Well, lass, I guess I can’t pretend to be some ordinary man, right, but maybe we can still enjoy a nice chat once in a while, eh, it would be nice, right?” the corner of Alfie’s mouth turned upwards, extending his hand for her to shake. “Y/N L/N, it’s great meeting you, Alfie. And yeah, it would be great. I’ll be seeing you around, alright? Hope I’ll see you soon and maybe we can have a nice cup of tea and anything that you’ve baked. I’m looking forward to that.” she shook his hand, smiling brightly at him, gesture which he turned. “And I’ll be seeing you as well, sweetheart.” with that, she kissed Cyril’s head once again, before waving Alfie goodbye and walking back into the clinic. “And I’ll be seeing you too...Y/N.” the gangster muttered, grinning at his dog and praising him with a few pats on his head. “Cyril, my boy, you’re my lucky charm.”

A week passed, and Y/N walked into the bakery - However, it wasn’t the front up, the bakery shop that smelled heavenly - It meant the gangster warehouse where Alfie would usually conduct his business meetings. And, of course, it was shocking to him when heard the click of heels and saw a beautiful, slender woman, dressed in high-waisted pants, with a black turtleneck tucked in her pants, beautiful brown leather boots with heels and a black trench coat that elegantly, yet imposingly hung from her shoulders, as if she was some kind of mafia Queen - Elegant, but deadly.

“Hello, Alfie. I heard you have a job around this place. Not sure what it is...Medic? Secretary? Dog-walker? Maybe you could fill me in.” she asked, her hands in her pants, fidgeting in her spot. “Where’ve you heard about this...Supposed job, eh, lass? And why’d you quit your job from the clinic, eh?” he asked, his fingers intertwining as he leaned forward, elbows rested on his desk. “Ah, well...Y’know...I got my medical license pulled, so I need a way to make money, and you’re the only one that I trusted not to treat me like garbage, so here I am. I know there’s no job, but I had to try my luck and be comedic in a way. It’s probably about the only thing I’m good at, sort of. It’s fine if you don’t want to give me a job, I mean, you can’t trust me with your business info after just speaking to me once, I can imagine, and - “ she kept on ranting, until Alfie raised both his hands in the air to calm her down and stop her speaking, before he raised to his feet, getting in front of the desk and leaning back on it. “Well, I did owe you a favour, right, so, sure, you’re hired, right, I’ll find you something. While we’re at it, can you, yeah, can you fire a gun?” he asked, with a mix of seriousness and playfulness in his voice. “Is it...In the job requirements?” she asked, looking around the place with a fake kind of curiosity. “There’s no job seeking, yeah, so, therefore, no job requirements. I was just being curious, alright, y’know, I have to know what everyone around is capable of, okay.” he explained, which made her smirk and turn on her heel to look at him. “That’s only fair. After all, now that you know that I’m particularly incapable of defending myself against people in general, you’ll just have to be extra careful to keep me safe, right, Alfie? We wouldn’t want Cyril to grieve over me, would we?” she chuckled, extending her arms to her side in a dramatic manner. “Haha, yes, lass, I s’ppose you’re right. Can you handle more than one job, eh? I can hire you as a physician, right, but we don’t always have wounded men, yeah, so, you’re a smart woman, alright, I’m sure you are very capable of reading, writing, doing calculus and other stuff that involves using your head, right, so, I don’t know what name will this job have, but, maybe an assistant of sort, eh? Ollie here helps me out a lot, yeah, but he can’t do everything, he ain’t some God, y’know.” Alfie gesticulated, pointing towards Ollie, then tried to explain to her that things are serious, and not to be taken lightly. “Guess this is gonna be the thrill of my life, huh? I’m in, Alfie. At least I can get along with you without fearing having my license pulled-...Oh, wait, I have nothing to fear about anymore.” she chuckled in a self-deprecating way, making Alfie cross his arms to his chest. “You never told me what happened. Go on, tell me. I’m sure you didn’t kill a dog, or somethin’, you’re too smart a doctor to fuck up.” his curiosity got the better of him, as he saw her turning to look at him, her eyes wide, her mouth slightly agape, and he could almost see her brain gears moving, trying to think of a witty answer. “Didn’t you say something about freshly baked goodies and tea? I bet that’s gonna be a much more...Hospitable way of chatting with your new employee, wouldn’t it? Or better said, friendlier? I mean, this place is so...Ugly and humid...Only good for gangster business. The echo here, if you shout, can intimidate anyone, I’m sure. Come on, show me the actual bakery...And you better have a gramophone. I like music.” she smiled up at him, hooking her arm to his, pulling him in a random direction to urge him to guide her to the bakery, where the beautiful smell of bread and cookies mesmerised her, and she playfully swooned in her chair. “I see you’re enjoying this place very much, eh. Well, can’t say I expected you coming today, so I didn’t bake them myself, yeah, but I’ll make it up to you. Sure you want tea and not rum or somethin’?” Alfie asked, a bit awkward staying at the cute little table, with a cute, little cup of tea in his bear-like hands. “Yes, I’m quite sure, Alfie. But it’s fine, you don’t have to drink what I’m drinking, I won’t think of you any differently. In your home, you do as you please.” she chuckled at him, watching as he nodded solemnly, only to down that tea in one go, small droplets of liquid embedding themselves in his beard. “Right, right, I understand, y’er a people pleaser, you want everyone to like you, unless it goes against whatever scheme you have. You’re smart, alright. Very smart, and you’ve sharp eyes, and are cunning. I need someone like you around, yeah. But tell me, how’d you manage to lose your dream job in a week?” Alfie asked, extending his hand to gently grab her chin, pulling it so he could peer right into her gorgeous, vixen-like eyes. “Remember the bet I did when you came around with Cyril? Well, apparently that jerk got mad at me for, to quote, steal his money, so he filed a malpractice lawsuit to get his money back, 5 times more, and pulled away my license, to get revenge on me for humiliating him in front of a customer...Allegedly. Very petty, I know, but, as they say...C’est la vie. Not much to do about it, really. Now I’m seen as a con-artist thief who kills animals, so I have no way of getting a job anywhere anymore, hence why I’m here. Lovely, innit?” she snorted as she took a bit of the cookie, closing her eyes to savour it’s flavour. “And now, I think I died and went to heaven, ‘cause this is the best thing I’ve eaten in my life.” “You’re so hired, lass. Did ya pay the 500 pounds?” he asked, propping his jaw on his hand. “Yeah, thankfully. And by that, I mean I to sell my apartment so now I’m using my saving to stay at a cheap hotel, but, y’know, life’s life. At least I know I won and I was right. Maybe if I had the right connections, I could have won 10 times what I lost...But what do I know. I don’t really know how non-legal things go by.” she chuckled softly, scratching the back of her head in a playfully guilty manner. “Y’know, Y/N...I think we can solve that fairly quick, yeah. Tell me the name, and I’ll make sure things are sold. In the meantime, I’ve a nice, warm room where you can stay, right, and surely, Cyril’s gonna love your company.” Alfie smiled at her, signaling for her to follow him.

At that time, she had no idea this was actually his home, but when she did find out, she was more than grateful, if not, a bit awkward, for  having to rely so much on his kindness. However, just as he promised, Alfie managed to get that jerk of a doctor to pay her 10 times the money she paid him, and thus, she would have been able to get a very modern and luxurious place, only for herself, and even buy a dog, a cat, or hell, more of them.

But she refused, and asked to continue staying with him, if she wasn’t too much of a burden, since she really enjoyed spending time with him, and she had no idea, other than working 200% of her capabilities for her job, whatever that was, at the moment, and, of course, she would have missed Cyril too much.

It didn’t take long for Alfie’s people to realise the obvious chemistry between the two, and Ollie kept trying to convince him to ask her out, but things are always so difficult, aren’t they? Business and logics are much easier than subjective emotions.

It became sort of a routine for everyone around to see their boss writing and reading documents at his desk, while Y/N would sit on the desk, her legs resting on his chair’s back rest, as she would write on her clipboard whatever relevant things she thought were worth noting down, and would occasionally express her opinions regarding ideas that Alfie had, or some businesses that he was dealing with at the moment - All that, with, of course, the frequent witty comments they would exchange - And it was never anything hurtful, or reproachful jabs, only playful and domestic comments that always made her laugh.

“You never told me why you always look down when you interact with people, y’know, and by that, I don’t mean when you’re being some dramatic Queen, but when you’re being yourself. I mean, I haven’t seen women who let their hair so long these days, right, so I was curious about you. You do things much differently than most people, y’know that, don’t you?” Alfie asked, raising his head to look up at her, only to see, once again, trying to think of how to explain things that don’t rely on rational and objective behaviours. “Ah...Well...Uh...Y’know...I’m...My face is very expressive, y’know. So, like...I get embarrassed easily, or...Uhm...When I lie, or something, I tend to grin or laugh. I’m a messy failure who can’t do a pokerface, like, ever, so, since most people are taller than me, if I let my hair cover my face, they won’t see the truth. Or, well, y’know, at least that’s what I hope. I can’t look at them while hiding, so I’ve no way of telling whether it works or not. Contrary to me being flashy and dramatic, I’m kinda shy and terrible around people.” she chuckled awkwardly, looking away from him, bringing up her clipboard to cover half of her face. “Ahhh, I see, I see, so you go to real great lengths, yeah, to get what you want, and so far, you’ve done really well, eh. Is there anything you can’t do, lass? You’ve been doing this job for over a year, and business has improved with...Uh...Lemme see, how much did you say...Ah, yes, here, it says 23%.” he had his glasses on as his eyes scanned the documents on his desk. “I...Can’t socialise, I guess. And I can’t relax. I don’t know how to have fun. Uhm...I can’t human, I guess? I don’t know what to call it, but I think you get what I’m saying. Anyway, we have business work now, so read this paragraph here, I think we have to talk threaten Sabini a bit, he’s over his head now with power, someone has to humble him, give us a better percentage of his business, and -” Y/N tried to quickly redirect the conversation, hating when she had to talk about herself, but obviously, she couldn’t say no to the man who was always so kind and sweet with her, could she? “Nahhh, it’s fine, Y/N, let’s take a little break, right? We’ve been working since early morning, it’s evening now. Ollie, go make tea and bring those treats made today, eh. Now, lass, why don’t you tell me how did you get around to practicing medicine? I’ve always been curious by that, you know, you don’t see many women unafraid of stuff like that, yeah.” he pointed out, letting himself fall down on his chair’s seat, looking up at her. “Y’know, Y/N, you say you can hide your emotions when you hide your face from people taller than you, yeah? But what happens when they look at you from below? Gotta say, Y/N, sometimes, your worried face is rather pretty...Better now, let me look at you when you speak, yeah, we’re equals, when you go all meek on me, you make me feel like some kind o’ merciless boss or somethin’.” he chuckled, raising a bit to put her hair behind her ears, revealing a soft blush coating her cheeks, and god damn, he could feel his heart beating a bit faster. “Uhm...Okay, fine, sure, I owe you that much. Uhm...My dad was a medic too, so it became a family business for a while. And, uhm...Dad was recruited as a war medic, and went with my brother, while I and mum continued to take care of the people and animals from our city. When it was all over, I decided to get to London to practice properly, get more money and provide for my family better. They’re getting old and they need someone to take care of them, somehow.” she explained, but her eyes were darting around, and he could feel she was still hiding something because of her hesitance, but he wasn’t sure what exactly was it that she was trying to hide.

But before either of them could say anything about it anymore, a loud bang echoed through the warehouse, somewhere from the entrance, which made the girl jump in her place with a mouse-like squeak, slapping her hands over her ears.

It’s true, any person would get frightened by a gunshot that resounded so loudly through that place - And yet, this one looked like a panicked, scared fawn in the headlights - And Alfie, of course, noticed that and came to a few conclusions for himself.

However, before he could say anything, a man entered their field of vision, and he could feel Y/N tensing up, her face showing shock and disgust at the person who she clearly recognise. She turned her head to look at Alfie, and with pleading eyes, mouthing a few simple words that may or may not have shocked him.

“Let me kill him” she tried to say, but this mystery man spoke out faster than expected, and it was clear she was getting more and more angry and embarrassed by the moment. “Y/N, darling, what are you doing here? Whoring around with other men, getting into illicit business, thinking you’re superior to men just because you have some over the top ambitions that are completely unreachable, and now you think you can get rich by staying around wealthy old men, huh?” the man kept speaking, igniting an infernal fire into her eyes. “Alfie, I pride myself with my never ending patience, but I swear to God, if you don’t let me kill him...I don’t know what I’m gonna do.” Y/N muttered between her gritted teeth, shocking Alfie since he never saw her as the violent type. “I’m not doing any business with him, alright, do what you feel like doing, Y/N, he’s all yours.” Alfie sat back in his chair, his fingers intertwined over his stomach, watching with interest whatever she was going to do.

Y/N jumped off the desk and slowly prowled around it, her head hanging low, before she snapped it up, glaring lightnings at the man.

“Fuck off. Now. Or you’re dead. Do you understand this simple language, or do I need to put it in words that even a monkey would understand?” she crossed her arms, spitting poison at him. “What, can’t I be angry at my own girlfriend for being a bitch and leaving me alone? I mean, you really fucked up, y’know? You left me when I needed you the most, how tragic is that?!” he yelled at her, but she only rolled her eyes, scoffing. “Yeah, I left you ‘cause you were abusing me. The way I see it, you’re the one who sucks, not me. Now get the hell out of here. Before I do something you will regret.” her voice went an octave lower, threatening him the same way she learnt from Alfie over the time of business making. “Woaw, Y/N, woaw, that’s pathetic, even for you. You’ve never been able to even raise your voice at anyone. You were nothing more than a crybaby who couldn’t step up to anyone, and then you went to war, and what, you think you changed? You didn’t! Underneath this dumb, tough facade that you’re trying to pull in front of everyone else, you’re nothing more than the frightened little girl who needed to have everything in control and grasp a bit of power to feel superior to others after you got beaten up and had a gun pointed at your head by the Germa-” but he couldn’t continue speaking for, in the blink of an eye, she pulled out a gun for her trench coat and shot him in the head, his blood and brains shooting everywhere, all over her, on the walls and floor. “Well...Ask me anything and I will provide you with an answer that is completely honest this time. But, uhm...Take of your shirt, will you?” she had a solemn, pissed off expression as she threw off her coat before hurriedly taking off her shirt, nonchalantly cleaning up her face, then pulling it into a ball, throwing it on the cadaver, then stepped in front of a very shocked, yet impressed Alfie. “Go on, take off your shirt, will you? It’s clean. You promised I’ll never have to shoot a gun, and yet, I did, therefore I need a clean top, right? So, while I tell you the truth, don’t let me stay like this in front of you, okay?” extending her hand in front of her, while her other arm was over her chest, trying to cover her pretty white laced bra, it took a mirthful laugh out of the Jew for him to finally take off his shirt and put it around her, not caring that he was the topless one now. “Will you ever stop impressing and surprising me, lass?” Alfie asked, petting her head as a way to say she did well. “Once I stop shocking myself, sure. Until then...I believe you want to say something, don’t you?” she asked, slowly stepping in front of him, looking up at him as she properly put on his shirt that looked like a dress on her. “Yeah, lass, I think I did.”

With a gentle smile, he cupped her face, leaning down to plant a soft kiss on her lips, one hand stroking his fingers through her beautiful long hair, while the other caressed her soft visage. The tender look in his blue-green eyes felt like the safest, warmest haven she ever felt, and with an impulse decision that her heart made, she leaned forward, her arms slowly snaking around his torso, her head resting on his shoulder, and closing her eyes, she could finally feel her heart calming, for the first time in her life.

“It was you who went to war, wasn’t it?” Alfie muttered in her hair, holding her tightly. “Yeah. I don’t have a brother. It was me who went with my father to war, but he died, so I had to be the backbone of the troops. When I got home, my mum was devastated and she died of grief. I left that place to get rid of memories...And get rid of that fuckass. War left me with traumas, but it also made me strong enough to face up to who I am and stop taking everyone’s shit just because they think I’m lesser than them. Sometimes...When you talk about your time as a captain...I remember my time there...And...I realise how much I respect you...And also, how different you are from all the people I had contact with there.” she explained, her grip tightening around him, her heart quivering from the deep emotions she was feeling. “You’ve been through quite a lot in your life, haven’t you, lass? And you managed to make a life all for yourself, from the scratch, right, so, I think you’ve been doing great. France?” he asked, guiding her to a more private room, much warmer and cozier, while Ollie was to find him another shirt. “Yeah, France. Thing is...You went through all that, and it was worse for you, since you were a Captain, and you must have felt responsible for every death from your troops...And yet...Ever since we met, you’ve been sweeter than anyone has ever been, and that includes my own family. Don’t get me wrong, I loved them, but maybe...Maybe I’m just a bit softer than I let others think. And you managed to hit the right spot, in the good way, I mean. War changes everyone, and yet, you’re...I have no fitting word to describe how much I appreciate you, Alfie, but here...This thing here feels it, and I think you can feel what I’m feeling too.” she explained, resting her head on his shoulder once they sat down on the sofa, as he pulled her closer to his side, kissing her temple lovingly. “You know, Y/N...You’re not wrong. I tried not to think about my time there and the horrors I’ve seen, yeah, so, maybe it doesn’t come off as anything fantastic, and I still don’t think that being a decent person, right, to people who are close to me, is a big deal. But maybe sometimes we take things for granted, don’t we, so, maybe, you’re right. But that guy has no excuse for being a bastard. You’re safe now, Y/N, and when some day, when we’re done with this gangster mess...We can go to Margate and live a normal life there, eh. You, me and Cyril, and the sandy beach and the waves, right, and maybe, if we get bored, we can shoot those damned seagulls, yeah? They’re so annoying, I’m telling ya!” Alfie chuckled, which, in turn, made her grin at him lovingly. “I’d love to go to Margate with you, Alfie, and have seagull shooting contests together, and run barefoot on the shore, and if it’s enough light from the moon, we can swim a bit. Sounds like the perfect life if you ask me.” Y/N kissed his cheek, lovingly caressing his face before hugging his side. “That’s what I like to hear, lass. I’m sure Cyril would bark like a mad dog from happiness if he was hear, right. S’gonna be fun when we get home, eh.”

[hotchley]

hotchner’s hoodie

What’s up, I’m Sumayyah, I’ve been on CM tumblr for just over a year and I never cross-posted my first four fics until now, which is only because I changed my url, and now my laptop is going to die in 11 minutes so..

This is for @themetaphorgirl‘s PSOLC verse. You should read it. This is no longer compliant with that canon, but you know what, it is fine! I am literally doing this for the sake for a masterlist <3

Trigger Warnings: child abuse

read on ao3!

Aaron Hotchner was completely fine. He was not freaking out, he was not stressed and he most certainly was not about to burst into tears. He was a cool, calm and collected seventeen year old that was responsible, wise beyond his years and more mature than Alex Miller and James Blake put together. 

Okay maybe he wasn’t the last one, but he was still a responsible teenager. He was not a child. He would not start crying over stupid, insignificant events.

But he could not find his hoodie. On any other day, not knowing the location of his hoodie would be greeted with a shrug, and the general acceptance that it would turn up somewhere. One of the younger kids- most likely Spencer- would have taken it because they were cold and had forgotten to put in the laundry. And that was fine. It had been fine since he’d met them and realised they needed at least one responsible person in their lives, if only to keep them alive. 

But this wasn’t any other day, and as childish as it made him feel, he just really wanted to feel the soft and warm material of the hoodie against his bare arms. He wanted the familiar smell of the floral laundry detergent Lincoln House had ended up with when Penelope had worn the hoodie as soon as it came out of the wash and declared that they needed a new one. He wanted the one small piece of home that had not been tainted by memories of pain, tears and fear to remind himself why he went back there.

He would never tell the others, but the hoodie hadn’t been his choice. It had been Sean’s. They had gone together with his mother’s credit card- his father would never let him near his money- to buy him some extra clothes before he left for school. He’d spent the entire time worrying about what they would come home to and had been too stressed on making sure Sean was never out of his sight to properly look at what he was buying, just putting things that weren’t tacky or expensive in the basket and hoping for the best.

But then Sean had rubbed the front of the hoodie he was still searching for- he had could have sworn he left it in the bed drawer- and started laughing. Told him that it was so soft and nice and cuddly and warm that he had to buy it. And when he had hesitated, not sure whether buying something like that would land him in trouble, Sean had gasped. Said it was blue, just like his eyes and because he wouldn’t take a teddy to remind him of home, this could be the same thing.

He’d been unable to say no, so he’d gotten it, hidden it amongst the various textbooks and notebooks, and never taken it home. His father still didn’t know about the little indulgence. His mother did. She’d been so worried about him, but he’d been determined to take one good thing to the school with him.

So yes, he had never told anyone else why he was so attached to an old hoodie, but it was because he didn’t want them to know the truth. He didn’t want them to ask why he’d never said anything to the school, why he’d never trusted them enough to tell them, or the question that kept him laying awake at night: why had he left his mom and little brother in that house with that man?

His hands were starting to shake as he reached the bottom of the drawer with no sign of the hoodie and he reminded himself to breathe. It was just a hoodie, it wasn’t anything special. And if his father could see him… 

He didn’t want to think about that. Not when he had just been home for the weekend because his mother had told him about how Sean had been so brave when he had been getting his vaccines because he wanted to be like his big brother superhero and not ask for help. Most people would’ve found it endearing.

Hotch found it sickening. He’d never wanted Sean to be like him: a seventeen-year-old too afraid of rejection to ask for anything.

He pushed the thoughts of his father from his mind. He couldn’t find his hoodie anywhere in his room, which meant one of the kids had to have it. Lessons were finished, the library was closed, but there was still a decent amount of time before dinner, which meant that they would probably all be in the Lincoln House common room.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed the door open and went down. He could hear them all laughing about something from the hallway and smiled. They were an odd group, and he wasn’t entirely sure if he would be there had he not been the RA for his floor, but he loved them. And he never wanted to stop hearing that laughter.

Which was why it made sense that it stopped as soon as he walked in. Everyone was sat in their usual seat: Alex and James were snuggled up on one of the sofas with Spencer in her lap, Emily was laying next to them, doing something on her phone. JJ and Penelope were sat on the floor, Derek crouching behind them and Dave was watching them all fondly from the armchair.

“Hey guys,” he said, even though they were all aware of his presence. “I was just wondering if anyone had seen my hoodie.”

They all looked at each other, the younger kids sheepish, the older ones smirking. He fought back the urge to let the tears spill and swallowed the lump in his throat. He was meant to be the responsible one.

“Look if one of you kids was wearing it and got jelly or mud or whatever it was on there I won’t be mad just tell me so I can put it in the wash,” he said, trying to keep his tone as gentle as possible so he didn’t scare the younger kids.

Derek snickered.

He sighed. “If it was used to put out a kitchen fire, I will also not be mad.”

Emily looked like she was two seconds away from dying of repressed laughter.

“And if you put Spencer in it and then dragged him round because he didn’t want to move and then somehow got water all over it, I won’t shout.”

JJ and Penelope gave each other identical smiles.

“If you decorated it with football and unicorn stickers because you thought it needed a bit of brightening up, that is fine but can you please, please just tell me where it is?” he repeated, his tone turning pleading at the end.

Both Alex and James gave him a concerned look, probably wondering why he was getting so worked up, but neither said anything as he schooled his features back into neutrality.

“Oh go on, put him out of his misery,” Dave said.

Hotch breathed a sigh of relief. He would get his hoodie back and everything would be fine. He would be fine.

“Hey Aaron. You left it at Roosevelt when you came to practice and then I forgot to give it back earlier. I promise I kept it safe, I know how much it means to all of you over here,” a very beautiful female voice said.

Hotch felt his heart stop and he squeezed his eyes shut. No. This was not happening to him. Haley Brooks was not sat there, laughing with his friends when he wasn’t there. She had not heard him go over all the various trials and tribulations his hoodie had suffered through. She had not just told everyone that when he had said he needed to speak to Gideon, he’d been lying because he’d gone to meet her and practice so he didn’t look like an idiot. And she most definitely was not stood in front of him, wearing it.

“Aaron?” 

“I- yes. Erm, thank you. That was- that’s- it’s really, really nice on you,” he stuttered, already aware that his cheeks were completely red.

“On you?” she repeated with that angelic smile. 

Oh god, had he really said that?

“Of you. It’s really nice of you to bring it over here. And you, umm, you look really pretty wearing it. Not that you don’t look pretty when you don’t wear it, you do, and I never say anything but-“

She rubbed his arm. His bare arm. “It’s fine, Aaron. I know what you meant. And it wasn’t that much effort to walk over here. Besides, I got to see Penelope and meet the rest of your family. They’re all amazing by the way.”

He stopped staring at her eyes and started staring at his arm, willing the goose bumps to go down. “Well thank you anyways. And they are, aren’t they?”

He could’ve punched the air. He got a whole sentence out without stuttering once.

“So you seemed pretty desperate to get it back,” she said, starting to take it off. The t-shirt she wore underneath had some musical reference on it, he didn’t know what one but he swallowed as he tried to keep his eyes on her face, not any lower. “Any particular reason?”

“No, no reason. I just-“ he was just what? There was nothing he could say without sounding pathetic. “It’s nothing. In fact if you’re cold why don’t you keep it? I can just grab a different one or something, my room is just up there, it’s fine.”

“Aaron, it’s your hoodie, you have every right to wear it. Here, move your arm and I’ll even put it on for you.”

“Haley, it’s fine. If you don’t wear it you’re going to freeze and if you try to get to Kennedy then you’ll be late for dinner,” he said.

She laughed, and although it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever heard, he couldn’t help but feel like she was mocking him. “Come on Aaron, let me put it on you.”

No, she couldn’t do that. She just couldn’t. If she touched him, he would flinch at the pain and she would ask why. She would know. They all would.

“Yeah Aaron, let her,” Emily teased, having put her phone down to watch him and Haley.

Aaron. Aaron. Why was everyone calling him that? He squeezed his eyes shut. “Seriously, it’s fine. I’ll just grab a jacket from upstairs and then we can head to dinner.”

“Oh come on Hotch, stop being difficult, let Haley touch you,” Derek teased.

 Stop being so difficult you little bitch. Stop moving Aaron, or I’ll make it worse for you. Keep your mouth shut or Sean will wake up. Imagine what it would do to him if he saw his older brother crying like a little girl. That’s right. Don’t make a sound, or you’ll be sorry.

“Aaron, you’re shaking,” Haley said, concern colouring her voice.

Shaking like a little terrified child, you’re not a child anymore stop acting like one. You’re a disgrace to this family. You need to learn what happens to disgraces. They get hurt and nobody loves them, nobody ever respects them.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please don’t, I’ll be good, just don’t,” he mumbled, legs giving out as he fell to his knees, bowing his head, leaving his hands on his thighs, away from his back and face.

“Aaron?” Haley whispered as she knelt in front of him. 

He shook his head. He couldn’t. He just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t look at her, couldn’t see the rejection in her eyes as she realised he was damaged beyond repair.

“Hotch,” she said, this time more firmly.

He lifted his head just enough to see her mouth, pressed into a thin line as concern was written all over her face. When she realised he was looking at her, she smiled.

“Hey. There’s nothing to be sorry about okay? You haven’t done anything wrong. I promise. You’ve been absolutely perfect.”

“Weak,” he whispered.

“No, you’re so strong Aaron, you always have been. You’ve been strong for a little too long, that’s all. It’s okay though. You can let it go. You’re safe. I promise. Just let me hold you for a few minutes.”

And that was what broke the barrier. Feeling someone touch his back- a mess of scars and bruises- with a gentleness he’d only ever seen, never felt. 

He let himself cry, completely forgetting that the rest of his friends- no, his family- were right there. 

When the tears finally stopped falling, he realised he felt a lot warmer. At some point, Haley had slipped the hoodie onto him. He felt lighter now he was wearing it. He felt happier, knowing she hadn’t run, hadn’t questioned him, hadn’t had the response he had thought they would all have.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.

He jerked back to reality. She was still sat in front of him. The rest of the kids were watching them, the younger ones on the brink of crying. Dave and Emily looked like they were ready to break into his house and kill his dad. James and Alex were watching, the concern in their eyes enough to make him want to cry again. They cared. They loved him.

“No,” he managed to choke out.

“That’s okay. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. And you never have to hide around any of us anymore,” she said.

Hotch nodded, still feeling a bit like a ghost.

“We’re always going to be here if you want to talk about it,” Alex said softly.

“And if you want to punch something, I’ll join you,” Derek added. Emily and Dave nodded in agreement.

“You can always come home to mine,” JJ suggested. “I told my parents about you, they think you’re really cool.”

“If you ever want a soft toy to cuddle in the night, I have loads!” Penelope exclaimed. Hotch managed to laugh.

Spencer moved off Alex’s lap and walked towards Hotch, his own eyes full of unshed tears. Haley shifted to his side and Spencer threw his arms around the older boy in a tight hug. Hotch realised he was shaking as the tears fell.

“I may be small, but I’m a genius and if he ever hurts you again, I’ll work out a way to make his life a living hell,” he whispered.

Hotch started laughing at that too.

“See. We’re here for you, no matter what demons haunt you,” Haley said.

Everyone nodded.

He smiled. “Thank you. All of you.”

“We’re your friends. You don’t need to say thank you,” Emily said. When everyone stared at her, she flushed and started picking at her nail polish again.

“She’s right you know. They’re your friends.”

He picked up on the fact that she excluded herself. “And what are you?” he asked, wondering why he was asking. She was probably going to say something like acquaintance, and then he would just be sat there like an idiot.

“Are you going to be okay with them? It is a little bit cold- do not give me that look Aaron Hotchner- and I need to grab a hoodie. And don’t even try and give me yours, I want you to wear it, it’s cute on you.”

He blushed. “Thank you, I- yes. I mean yes I’ll be fine with them, not yes like you need a hoodie and you can go, because you don’t need me to tell you what you can and can’t do, like that wasn’t what I was trying-”

She pushed his hair off his forehead, laughing slightly. “I know. But you wanted to know what I am to you right? Maybe this’ll help you work it out.”

And then she kissed his forehead before waving goodbye to everyone and leaving.

Hotch remained sat there, completely shocked.

Penelope squealed and he winced at the sound.

“Get it!” Emily shouted.

His blush became even more prominent. “Shut up.”

“Err, no. Haley kissed Hotchner!” Derek said, laughing.

“Oh my gosh, Haley and Hotchner. You guys could be called Halner! No wait, how about Hotley?”

“Penelope, shut up,” he pleaded, but he smiled as he said it.

She matched his grin. Derek and Emily were high-fiving. Dave looked smug. Alex and James looked so proud. JJ had a small smile, one that showed she was happy for him but was still a little grossed out by the thought of romance. Spencer looked horrified. That made his smile even wider.

Things were far from perfect. And one kiss wasn’t going to solve his issues. But with a group of his friends that loved him, that he could trust with his life and a girl who had done the opposite of running for the hills, he could finally start to heal.

[kurlyfrasier]

Terrified: Part 4

Raph x Reader

Synopsis: Raph saves you from ruffians one night in an alley after watching out for you for weeks without you knowing. Which leads you to getting to know the guys and becoming part of the family. But Raph keeps a distance and you don’t understand why. 

Word Count: 1708

Warnings: None

I woke up later than intended- much later, as in waking in the afternoon later- red-eyed and weary from the tears shed the night before. I had decided, once I had calmed down enough to think beyond losing the boys- most especially Raph- that tonight would be my last movie night. At least, for a while. I also planned on telling them they need not walk me home after work. Granted, I had no idea how I planned on convincing them that they weren’t needed. 

Maybe I could tell them I’m moving? Getting a new job?

I sighed, looking into the mirror. If tonight was going to be my last night seeing Ra- them, then I would make the most of it. I decided I would look my best, without looking desperate...hopefully. Sadly, this meant I did not get to start my new book since l only had about an hour until Mikey would be here to pick me up. Yet another reason to stop burdening the boys. Regretting the fact that I wouldn’t get to wear pajamas like I usually do on movie nights, I trudged to my closet.

A little over an hour later Mikey found me in the middle of brushing just a tad bit of make-up on; to cover up my red-rimmed eyes. 

“Whoa angelcakes,” he drawled once I stepped out of the bathroom, eyeing my long, fitted sweater dress- because it gets cold in the lair- and warm leggings with comfortable Chuck Taylors. 

See? Not desperate. Comfy.

“Raph is gonna lov-” He stopped himself short when I gave him a quizzical look. “I mean, you look hot, dudette. Got any plans tonight?” he wiggled, what one would call, his eyebrows, erupting a giggle out of me. 

“Only to hang out with my besties, that’s all,” I shrugged, grabbing my phone, hoping he wouldn’t comment about my not-so-usual outfit once we got to the lair. I really did not want it made more obvious than it already is.

“Sounds like the best plan, but are you sure you don’t wanna bring pj’s for after?”

“I’m sure, Mikey,” I smiled reassuringly up at him as he plucked me up out of the window and onto the roof. “These are just as comfortable as pajamas, promise.”

“Okay then, let’s go,” he helped me onto his shell. “Can’t wait to beat you in a new racing game I got,” he hopped from roof to roof, holding me tight. I couldn’t help but compare his smaller, bulky size to Raph. I don’t think I would have been able to hold on to his shell quite as well.

“You’re on, man. But don’t come crying to me when you lose.”

He barked out a laugh and we stayed silent until we got to the man-hole cover.

“Hey, angelcakes,” Mikey started sheepishly when we got to the bottom of the ladder, scratching the back of his neck. “I wanted to ask…”

“Yeah?” I gave him an encouraging smile.

“Did somethin’ spook you last night?” He blurted out.

“No,” I furrowed my brows, confused about where this is coming from. Unless…

“Raph said you were running for your life after you got off the subway. I just wanted to make sure everything is okay.”

“Oh,” I tried thinking of an excuse, averting my gaze. “I just didn’t want to be a burden, is all.”

Not a complete lie.

“A burden?” He looked shocked as I turned toward their home and started walking that way, hoping to hide my despondency. “You’re not a burden, angelcakes! Besides, before that night in the alley, Raph was already-”

I stopped in my tracks as Mikey sauntered ahead.

“I mean, we like making sure you're okay. We don’t want a repeat of that night we first met,” he continued rambling, but I wasn’t listening. I wanted to know what he was gonna say about Raph. After a few steps he realized I wasn’t next to him anymore. “Come on, Y/n. Don’t want ya to get lost.”

I nodded, unwilling to ask my question as we continued our trek to the lair. I took a deep, calming breath to brace myself before entering the living room area where I knew Splinter, the wonderful father that he is, would be prepping for homemade pizza. Donnie had made an old brick oven not long ago and built it directly underneath a grate above that they only opened when baking pizza so the smoke would have an escape. I found it ingenious because now they could have pizza whenever they wanted. Which was always. A small smile formed at the thought.

Not five steps in and Raph blocked my path, arms crossed as he assessed me for injuries. I stared straight into his chest, unable to meet his all-seeing gaze. He would know something was wrong the moment we made eye contact, he always did.

“Bro, she’s fiiiine,” Mikey sang, lightly punching Raph’s shoulder as he walked by. “I would never let anything happen to her. She is my precious sister, after all.”

Raph ignored him, grunting in approval with a curt nod before walking away. Allowing me to breathe again, not realizing I had held my breath in the first place.

~~~~~~~~~~

Raph was anxious to see you. He had been attempting to work it off all day, to no avail. Everytime he closed his eyes he saw you, standing in front of him, looking small, keeping your thoughts to yourself. 

He growled in frustration, clenching his hands into fists. If only he knew what had you so utterly shattered last night.

He needed to see you.

He needed to know you were safe.

Raph breathed out a sigh of relief when he heard you and Mikey coming, but stopped short when he saw what you were wearing. Vaguely, he wondered where you had come from to be looking so good. That red sweater stuck to your form as if it was painted on. It may have covered almost every inch of skin from your thighs up, but it hardly left room for the imagination. Thos leggings did the same.

Where were your baggy pj’s?

Robotically, he blocked your path to determine if you had been hurt. Really though, it was all a ruse. He just wanted to have a good look at you. He crossed his arms over his chest to keep himself from holding you close. The fact that you wouldn’t meet his gaze had his blood running cold. You always at least gave him a tentative glance and a smile. Next to him, Mikey said something about you being his precious sister, but all he could think was that you were his precious everything. He didn’t even feel his brother’s light punch as he walked by.

He grunted as if saying “that’ll do” and walked away, wishing he knew what was wrong. Wishing he could make it all better.

“I’m gonna go help Donnie with something before we play, okay Mikey?” You spoke barely above a whisper before heading to Donnie’s lab. 

The moment you were out of sight he rounded on Mikey. “So wha’ didya find out?” he growled in in his face.

“Nothin’, bro!” Mikey held his hands up in surrender, backing away. “She said something like not wanting to be a burden. I don’t know. She was kinda quiet though. I barely got her to smile.”

“But nothin’ ‘bout wha’ scared her?” he asked low, peeking around to make sure you hadn’t decided to come back.

“Nadda. Just said she didn’t wanna be a burden. I told her she’s not. That we like takin’ her home, but,” he paused when he noticed Raph shaking, stiff as a board. “Uh-oh…”

Raph stomped away toward Donnie’s lab, barely able to comprehend what Mikey was telling him. 

You? A burden?

Never.

He planned on shaking you to your senses until he heard what you were saying to Donnie.

“...gonna take some self-defense classes so you guys don’t have to walk me home anymore. What do you think?”

Raph leaned against the wall, going to a whole new level of low with eavesdropping. He decided it was worth it if he could figure out what was wrong.

“We could teach you,” Donnie offered offhandedly. “Besides, we like taking you home. We can actually have a conversation as we protect you.”

“Nah, you guys are busy as it is,” you paused. “Plus, I don’t want to bother you guys even more.”

“What are you talking about, Y/n?” Something clattered, a sign that you have Donnie’s full attention. “You’re no bother. Did something happen?”

“No, nothing happened,” you sighed before continuing quietly. “I just- I might be getting another job-”

“You’re a terrible liar, you know that, right?” Donnie chuckled in an attempt to lighten the mood. “Is this about last night? I heard you were running from something.”

“Ugh! I wanted to get home faster! That’s all,” you fumed, stomping a foot, demanding why the boys kept asking you about last night.

“We’re worried, Y/n,” Donnie stated calmly. “You spend a lot of time with us. That could make you a target. Especially if anyone figures out how much you mean to Ra- uh… us.”

“Fine,” you seethed. “I’ll stop hanging out with you guys, then. That way nobody will have to worry about my safety.”

Donnie’s call for you fell on deaf ears as Raph snuck into the darkened room across from the lab, your steps echoed down the hall. He sunk low in the shadows and held his head close to his knees, eyes shut tight in a sad attempt to keep the tears from flowing freely. He couldn’t breathe. His heart felt as though it were being shattered into a million pieces.

You were leaving? The thought ricocheted through his brain.

What had happened to bring this about? Everything was fine until last night.

Maybe someone got to you already? The thought had his blood boiling. Allowed him to breathe. He had a purpose; to find out what happened in the ten minutes you were on the subway. He was determined to keep you close. Keep you safe. No matter the cost. Even if he had to lock you in his room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 5

[elsewhereuniversity]

Finding Joy

Her safename was Joy.

That worried people, when taken with her bubbly personality- the laughter that filled the heart, the smile that lit a room, blue eyes sparkling over freckled dimples. The silly hoodie, with huge blue ears that were taller than her head- “Easier to find me in a crowd, that way,” she’d said, and well, it’s not like she was wrong. More than once, the blue ear tips weaving through a sea of shoulders was the only way to find Joy, short as she was. The iron bell around her neck only helped a little- it’s ringing often swallowed by the noise.

Joy fit her, really.

And that was why they worried.

Her RA had spoken to her about it, of course. “Are you sure you want to go with Joy? You know the point is that they’re not supposed to fit, right?” And Joy had nodded in complete understanding, smiling brightly. “I read the introductory packet- if it starts to fit too well, I’ll change it, I promise! But I’m not too worried about that.” Another bright smile. A name, cautiously, added to the floor register. (Written in calligraphy, sprinkled with salt, locked in an iron drawer. Maybe Clip was paranoid, but she wasn’t losing any students that way ever again.)

The first meeting with the Gentry came a month in. Accidental, of course- she hadn’t been watching the trail they’d been following, locked in an animated conversation with her friend about the robotics project she’d been working on. “-so I’ve got it measuring soil conditions every three hours, now, and comparing it against the plants showing optimal growth, to match them- I think I can set up pre-programmed routines, with some more data, to keep soils on a prepared regime! The hard part will be getting the fertilizing-”

The rest of that sentence would never be heard. What was heard was a shout, crashing sounds, and a loud pair of dual thuds.

What was seen, was the gentleman who’d been crashed into and knocked to the ground, golden hair in disarray, blinking dazedly- and Joy, on top of him, where she’d crashed into the man, her papers scattered around her.

(Off to the side, her friend wasn’t sure whether to start filming or to grab Joy and run. She might have been too busy laughing, though.)

Joy had sprung away, then, like she’d been burned. “Oh my gosh, I am so- are you okay? Do you need to go to the nurse, did you hit your head? I should have been watching where I was going, my bad!” Snatching up her papers, she offered a hand down to the gentleman, who, still disoriented, took it, and pulled him to his lanky feet. Golden eyes blinked down at the girl, as he brushed dirt off his coat, clearing his throat.

“That will not be necessary, I assure you, miss…?”

“Oh! Right, Joy, you can call me Joy, I’m so- no, wait, I’m not supposed to say that, right, right.”

A gentle huff of laughter. A hand brushing dirt off a blue coated shoulder. “It suits you. No harm, no foul, as you children say. Run along, now.” A dazzling smile in return, as she ran off to catch up with her friend. Distantly, he could hear them chattering. “Dude! That was one of Them! Are you okay, you didn’t say anything you shouldn’t have, right?” “I’m fine! It’s fine, don’t worry about it, he wasn’t mad.” “You told him your name, though!” “Don’t be absurd. I told you, it doesn’t fit, that’s the whole point.”

Days passed. Her roommates watched her like a hawk. Weeks- caution started to ease. Months- and when October rolled around, it found the two girls sprawled out under a tree on the grounds.

“Coleslaw heard you crying the other night- what was that about?”

A shrug. Her stylus traced over her tablet, tracing out details. “Just a call from my godfather, no big deal.”

“You’re still homesick?”

“I guess. More than I thought, anyway.”

“Well, you know, fall break’s coming up soon. Maybe you can go visit?”

“Yeah, maybe.”

The conversation had turned, then. To the party coming up, a masquerade hosted by the drama majors- of course.

An idea took root.

Joy wasn’t much one for dancing- too small, she’d laughingly tell anyone who asked, “My partners would have to bend double to meet me!” It was an exaggeration- but not, to be fair, by that much. She contented herself, instead, drifting around the room, giddy in the face of her classmates happiness, and possibly the double-shot cookie-mocha she’d snagged from the snack bar.

It was because of her drifting that she saw the girl being led off by the golden haired gentleman, away from the courtyard, to the path leading to the Forest. Following wasn’t a decision- her legs moved almost of their own accord.

The pair went into the trees.

Joy hesitated, for half a breath- then lifted her chin, eyes flashing steel, and marched in after them.

The gold eyed gentleman grinned at her, across the ring of mushrooms. His hands rested on the shoulders of the girl he’d taken, her eyes wide and watery as she stared at Joy.

“Give her back. She isn’t yours to take.”

Teeth showed behind the predatory grin. “She came willingly, little butterfly. Stepped into my arms, to save her guardian from himself, wouldn’t you know? A life for a life. Her life, to save his from the bottle.”

Of course she’d made a Deal. Well, two can play at that game. “I’ll barter for her.”

The grin turned sly. He leaned forward, resting his chin on the girl’s head. “And what would you have to offer me, bold little butterfly? I told you already- a life for a life. Are you so willing, to trade your freedom for a stranger?”

A breath of hesitation. His grin grew. “Perhaps I’ll be generous. I’ll take your godfather, then- unless you’d care to give me your true name, Joy?”

Joy led the shaking girl through the forest, plucking her iron butterfly clips from the trees they’d marked the way from as they passed. Their absence had been noticed, by now- Clip’s eyes lit up in relief to see both students emerging down the path, Joy’s shawl wrapped around the other girl, and one of the girl’s friends ran forward to greet them, nearly tackling her in a hug. Joy stepped back to let them have their reunion, moved over to her RA. Looking up at Clip, she smiled a bit, sheepishly.

“Is it too late to register to stay over break?”

“So what do you think? Are you really going to join the Knights?”

The student traced her pen over the lines of the sign-up sheet, tip drumming against the page. It was already most of the way filled out- the reasons, the class schedule, the dorm number- there was only one thing left to write down. The question got her gaze to lift, and she nodded.

“I think so, yeah. I mean, I’ve already rescued one classmate- imagine what I could do with some support.”

“You mean imagine what they could do, with a few more engineering majors.”

“Po-tay-to, po-tah-to. I’m definitely looking into the blacksmithing elective next semester, I’m gonna build us armor.”

A laugh answered that, and her friend reached across the table, shoving her playfully. “Well then what are you waiting for? Hurry up and go turn it in!”

The student formerly known as Joy laughed, a sound like bells, as she wrote her name into the final blank. “Alright, alright! Come on, come with me- maybe they’ll know where to pick up a sign-up sheet for the Scribes for you.”

“Alright, I’m coming, I’m coming.”

Blue ink glittered as it dried, Iris written in gentle swoops across the top of the page.

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