#REALITY Part 1 Compilation | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

4dbarbie-archive · 2 years ago

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4dbarbie remix: How to realise Self?

Disclaimer: This remix/mashup post was compiled by me, a student of 4dbarbie as a way to make sense of everything and to understand how to apply the knowledge practically. I went through all her posts and answered asks to make this which is made up of various parts of 25 49 (omg lol there was a lot of good stuff) different posts and answered asks. It is not an original post by 4dbarbie herself but all words are directly from her various posts and answered asks (except for my clarification notes which are in purple text in brackets & the last section after the last divider where I make some closing comments). Hopefully the way I've organised the information in this post makes sense and helps some Vanessas out there. ♡

Fair warning as this is a pretty long post essay (!) so maybe grab a cup of tea or something :) If you are really new to all this then take some time to really process it, there is no rush. My personal notes and highlights are in pink for main points and purple for 'action' points.

May we all realize our Self ♡

There would be no steps necessary, no process to undertake if you would just establish yourself in the I AM alone. You are so lost in your play you forget reality. 1 If you are "I AM", it means you are not the person experiencing the world/thoughts/circumstances, you never were. 2

The external world, you control it (because it is you!, in you), you make it, fully, even when you tell yourself you don't. 3 To know yourself as the source of all that is, you have to first remove the veil of what's stopping you from seeing it in the first place. To know your real being, you have to first abandon what you thought yourself to be. 4 There is no external life, there is no need to use any methods to recondition or train your mind. It is much faster, much easier and you are hundreds times happier just letting go of the mind. 5 The process is one of letting go more and more until you find yourself having nothing, being nothing. The thing about nothing though is that it's the only thing that can take the shape of everything. 6

A jeweler who wants to refashion an ornament, first melts it down to shapeless gold. Similarly, one must return to one's original state before a new name and form can emerge. The only way to renewal lies through destruction. You must melt down the old jewellery into formless gold before you can mold a new one. What refuses to die cannot be reborn. - I Am That, Nisargadatta Maharaj 7

Stop thinking you are Vanessa, the thoughts of needing this or that drop away. By thinking you are it, you create a character who desires and then identify yourself with it. You can only have when you let go of thinking that you don't. To change, you need to give up this conviction of being this person. You need to disbelieve. 9

Most of you can't change because you are so desperate TO change... but there is nothing to want to change. Things just are. Don't work with changing self, just realize who self actually is. 10

You have it, all is well. Just stop believing the illusions born out of thinking you're a person. 11

Unless they understand who they really are, that Vanessa is a habit and nothing more - that nothing has existence outside of awareness, including her, that awareness assigns reality and is the only reality - they're always going to struggle to control something and get frustrated they don't see what they think they're aware of. What you're aware of is what you're being. You can't be aware of being something new while also being Vanessa. 12

Knowing is being. If you really knew, the thing you knew would be materialized. You know you are Vanessa so you're being Vanessa. Would you want Vanessa if you were her? No. You are her so you don't desire her. And you won't be able to be Vanessa 2.0 if you don't shed this Vanessa first. That is, let go of thinking the thoughts are yours. 8

Your memories of the life Vanessa lived are now and not in a past. You are imagining her past being now. Her past exists now because you are aware of it now. If you were Lara you would be aware of a different past, still now. Basically there was no yesterday and you are imagining "a past having been" today. 13

Anon: "Do I have to endure the world while I know my self as awareness and disbelieve that I am Vanessa???" Ada: THE POINT OF KNOWING YOURSELF AS AWARENESS IS TO DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT AT ALL TIMES, FOREVER. It's complete, incomparable freedom and power. It's the only real love. 14

You are either your Self with nothing attached to it or you're an ego. Disbelieve you were ever her. See what happens. 41

A lot of beliefs are subconscious. "I am a body", "I am Vanessa", "There is a world" are all subconscious, automatic beliefs. Upon investigation you can get rid of any belief (by making them conscious and then dropping them). 15 How do you drop a belief? (see part 1 and part 2)

HOW TO STOP?

The body and the mind are only symptoms of ignorance, of misapprehension. Behave as if you were pure awareness, bodiless and mindless, spaceless and timeless, beyond 'where' and 'when' and 'how'. Dwell on it, think of it, learn to accept its reality. Don't oppose it and deny it all the time. Keep an open mind at least. Make your mind and body express the real which is ALL and beyond all. By doing, you succeed. - I Am That, Nisargadatta Maharaj

You need not take time to meditate or put time aside to contemplate and "apply". All you need to do is detach from this form during the day, let life happen as it happens while reminding yourself it's a dream, a dream that doesn't have to be yours. 16 It is your own desire to hold on to it that creates the problem. Let go. Stop imagining that the dream is yours. As long as you give reality to dreams, you are their slave; see all as a dream and stay out of it. 17

You imagine that there is an external world in which the you that you're identified with lives, but all of that is in your mind. Stop imagining it's true and it dissolves, which can only mean it never was. Which can only mean you assigned reality to it by thinking you're it 18

I've said it before, you don't have to convince Vanessa that she's unreal. Just stop taking the thoughts you don't like for truth or reality. There is no convincing involved, it is all letting go... you're holding so tightly onto your ideas now, that's why you can't see their falsity. 19 You don't have to convince anyone of anything. What I teach here is to leave your mind alone, that is all. Don't go along with it. 2 Thoughts will keep on coming for a while, just now you know they have nothing to do with you. Get into a habit of watching, letting them be but not identifying with them. If you can observe them, it means you are not them. 32 Doesn't matter what the thought is, leave it alone, ignore it BUT not by force of will, just indifference. We've established you aren't the ego, alright? Thoughts, right now, are from the ego. 20

Thoughts of the past life come, remember they no longer have anything to do with you. Literal full delusion (I only call it that because after being identified with a person for so long, it's mind-blowing to grasp you are not that). Thoughts are not yours, complete indifference - no need to fight them. Where they come from, none of your business. Only know they are not yours. YOU not being in your desired reality is a thought, got it? This body and this world are not forced onto you, they exist through your identification with them. Not yours, remember? Repeat. Not yours. You won't lose your mind, you'll only lose your misery. After you've detached, you'll easily shift to as many realities as you want - don't put any on a pedestal of desire, they are equal. See this world and the body as not real first. What is true is only what I AM is identified with, right now this body which is not in that TV show (referring to anon's desire). Correct this first by letting go of thinking it's you. 21

You don't need to convince yourself they're unreal, just dismiss them as not yours. They will disappear more and more through your newfound indifference, then their physical counterparts will, too. Detachment is by doubt and indifference. First you start doubting "the facts", then you become indifferent to the facts, lastly there are no facts anymore and you can establish your own. 20

Start letting go bit by bit, just to see what happens, you won't start "acting crazy" just because you become uninterested in thoughts, I promise 22

What I recommend you to do is bring your self into focus, become aware of your own existence. See how you function, watch the motives and the results of your actions. Study the prison you have built around yourself because of credulity. By knowing what you are not, you come to know your self. The way back to your self is through refusal and rejection. 23

Here's a scale of emotions you go through, from bottom to top: apathy, grief, fear, hostility, anger, indifference, acceptance, freedom finally - and then unlimited, independent joy. You can review this to see where you are on the journey and what should come next. You can't skip them, all of them have to happen for you to have the all. 14

Do not try to understand any more, just be. And let other things be as they are. Even if you're not happy about what you see, there is no way around it besides accepting it. As long as you fight it and try so hard & incessantly to change it, you're only giving it further reality. 14

If you are angry or in pain, separate yourself from anger and pain and watch them. Step away and look. The physical events will go on happening, but by themselves they have no importance. It is your mind alone that matters. When you identify yourself with them, you are their slave, you think you have to act on them. When you stand apart, you are their master. 24

One thing is certain: the real is not imaginary, it is not a product of the mind. 23

You are beyond the mind. Mind and body become your servants once you discover your Self. The present moment is all that is, so yes - become aware of having never been the ego, of your ego being just one of your creations. Ego is the concept of individuality, of separation from the “I", and the All. Therefore ego is a false assumption. We are really the Supreme Reality, we are not separate from It. To "fix" the separation, reject what you are not. Only look at who you are, over and over and over until it becomes the permanent identification and replaces the ego. 25

Once you are convinced that you cannot say truthfully about your self anything except ‘I am’, and that nothing that can be pointed at, can be your self, the need for the ‘I am’ is over — you are no longer intent on verbalising what you are. All you need is to get rid of the tendency to define your self. All definitions apply to your body only and to its expressions. Once this obsession with the body goes, you will revert to your natural state, spontaneously and effortlessly. 23

Drop the false ideas first and watch. After what keeps you stuck goes, you can do whatever you want. You can think the ugliest thoughts and nothing will happen if you know yourself as who you are. It's your identification with the thought that causes the thought to be true. 26

The guilt is because you think you're running out of time and you need to change "your" life now. Be patient with yourself because you don't lose any time, just get to that place I'm telling you about and then you can just go back in time if you so wish. All worry is pointless! And there is nothing to fear, things just happen, do not claim them as yours for a while. Unclutter your mind, it becomes your servant after you've freed it enough. 27

She (Vanessa) will vanish yes, you ask how because you still think waking is more real than a dream. Do your dreams not vanish? Do you wonder how they vanish? They just stop existing all of a sudden when you go into another dream (waking). What if you've lived all your life as Ada and woke up one morning and were suddenly Vanessa with no memory of Ada, would you know anybody vanished? Nope. All you know is who you are right now (because present is all that is), which is Vanessa. 28 Leave poor Vanessa alone, with both her desires and fears, disbelieve you are her until reality becomes self-obvious.

By being your Self you gain the freedom of existing as anything, anytime. You don't lose Vanessa's pretty body if you don't want to stop imagining yourself as being Vanessa with her pretty body. 29

Nothing is lost, awareness just shifts. You can always go back. We're just removing the obstacles that stop you from having this freedom of choice (your identification with this person). You can completely wipe out Vanessa's existence as well. Later if you change your mind, you can make it so that she actually existed again. You are no form, you are formless, the form only is when you imagine there is a form, be your favorite form and dream beautiful dreams :) 30

There is no difference between sleeping and waking, awareness is the background of both. You just think the waking state more real because you've dreamt it over and over and reinforced your belief. They're equally imaginary. Become aware of this and life will forever be a breeze. 31

All depends on you. It is by your consent that the world exists. Withdraw your belief in its reality and it will dissolve like a dream. Cease from looking for happiness and reality in a dream and you will wake up. - I Am That, Nisargadatta Maharaj 17

Your next step will be realizing there is nothing to learn in a dream. You'll find yourself having less and less thoughts, then none at all. Then, only if you want, you will be able to reinstall the mind, now of your choice, and change the dream. 16

Past doesn't come up anymore, memories don't come up anymore after you've ignored (thoughts) & detached yourself enough. They just don't. You can think freely now about being something different. If you can't, don't get mad, don't blame, only know that the one that's doubting isn't you, so the doubts are totally fine to be. They'll be for a while and then they dissolve too, because by ignoring, not getting involved - you forget. And by forgetting not only do you free up so much mental space, but possibilities of what can be, become unnumbered. 36 Anon: Is it okay to feel completely indifferent after learning about this stuff? Like, not feeling as worried about what is playing in front of me since I know its not me Ada: That's the goal. Then become indifferent to the thoughts you get as well. Those aren't yours either. You'll become aware they've dissolved & you can reconstruct the mind however you want because you have no attachment to past beliefs anymore. 33

Even the process is very beautiful... but the very best is when your Self becomes the permanent background instead of Vanessa. Now you always return to Vanessa, later you'll forget to consider her ♡ Dream not of a character who wants and desires, there is nothing to long for — only things to be. 16

To not depend on anything but everything to depend on you is a top state you can grasp with no method. 5 The experience is of being empty, uncluttered by memories and expectations; it is like the happiness of open spaces, of being young, of having all the time and energy for doing things, for discovery, for adventure. A sense of 'there is nothing wrong with me. I have nothing to worry about'. But not one you condition yourself into like you conditioned yourself into a body, it is one that naturally and effortlessly dawns on you by itself when you reject all else, because it is your natural state. 34 Real freedom and real love only emerge when you're not identified with a transient ego. 35

All you are doing is becoming lucid. Becoming able to control the dream. You won't be able to, unless you step out of it. That is, stop thinking this story you tell yourself is true. When Vanessa is no longer all you are, you'll be able to 'change reality' the way you change the film in a video projector. You'll be able to have as much fun in the play as you want to, change it when you no longer want this one specifically. The emotions of the character are fun and welcomed, because they no longer imprison you, there's the background of love to it all - that once you gain, it can't be lost, it's ever present. 36

What you are identified with materializes. If you are not, it disappears. 37

Just let go of the ego, that’s how simple it is. All you need to fix is your wrong identification. There isn't anyone who couldn’t materialize anything right now if he or she would just let go of identifying as the limited body. 38

Only by letting go of all do you gain everything. But once it's done, it's done irreversibly. Fear is no more, control is fully yours. You are free, completely. And with the bliss of freedom no human pleasure compares. You become full love, full power. The absolute and only power. Sooner or later, you will arrive at the same conclusion. You can't stop being what you are, all else can stop existing, but you can't. The only thing you have a choice in is delaying seeing it by thinking you are this or that. Only see it (I Am), then you can imagine whatever you want and it will be. 39

If you project the world, it is within your power to change it. But you must stop identifying yourself with it first. Go beyond, then you have all the power to destroy and recreate. All everybody wants is to be free, but to do that you must know two things: what you are to be free from and what keeps you bound. 2

Your own self is your ultimate teacher, the outer teacher is merely a milestone. It is only your inner teacher that will walk with you to the goal, because he is the goal. - Nisargadatta Maharaj 40

Got more questions? Recommended reading:

Ada's recommended guides on realizing Self: 1, 2, 3

My recommended posts from Ada*: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

All references from the remix post

Books: I Am That by Nisargadatta Maharaj** and Keys to The Ultimate Freedom by Lester Levenson

*in addition to the sources linked in the post **a lot of her posts incorporate quotes and excerpts from this book, moreso than Lester Levenson's Keys to The Ultimate Freedom and she also shared a lot of excerpts from the book

What does this look like when applied?

Experience is the best teacher and learning from other's experiences and how they applied this knowledge can be really valuable and insightful. I don't define success based on materialising things necessarily although that is one result of realizing Self.

From 4dbarbie students: see the tag

Other: 1, 2

Okay, what to do after reading all this?

Apply apply apply. Don't wait, nothing will happen by waiting. There is only now. Inquire who is causing trouble and to whom. You can't think yourself into realization. 'You' are beyond the mind. You are the creator of the mind. It must be experienced.

#remix #4dbarbie #nonduality #non duality #nondualism #non dualism

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svnghxxn · 4 days ago

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ᯓ𐙚 . ˙ Lucky I’m your soulmate. . . Pt 1

SOULMATE AU

f!reader X soft!sunghoon

Read part 2 here !!

Content :: Fluff, worshipful Sunghoon, SUNGHOON HELPING YOU BATHE but not in a sexual way ifywim

Note :: I have written fanfics before but it’s been a while, I have no idea how to navigate this app, I kinda had a thought and I made the acc, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE give me feedback (but don’t be harsh) I know I’m not the best but I want to improve. Also tell me how to be aesthetic that’s my main inspo ANDDD give me Enha fic suggestions if you wanna idk how this works so pretend you’re talking to a 5 year old pls no abbreviations 😔

— — —

Everyone knows they have a soulmate from birth. Nobody is given a sign or hint about who their soulmate is, when they will show up, what they will be like, did I mention that they appear randomly? It’s not even an introduction, they just.. appear in your house! Pretty creepy, right?

This whole soulmate thing is universal. Scientists have been trying to find out what causes soulmates to appear. Is it based on the menstrual cycle? What if it’s based off spiritual beliefs? Who knows! All that we know is that soulmates appear randomly, and are supposed to be your other half, or whatever.

You, on the other hand, are waiting painfully for your soulmate to “appear,” maybe he could make all the troubles go away, you’ve always been a hopeless romantic, so watching compilations of soulmates “appearing” behind their beloveds while alone in your bedroom wrapped in blankets helped with your delusion that maybe you could have a cute moment like that, too. Even daydreams of your soulmate holding you as you slept helped you relax and find comfort on the hard mattress you called your bed every night.

You never imagined what your soulmate would look like, you didn’t want to set up unnatural expectations, and you wanted a little surprise! Though it was a low chance that your soulmate would look exactly how you expected, but still! You also hoped that he would have.. at least an average cock- come on! A girl has needs!!

It was the evening when you got home from work this sunny Friday. The sweltering heat making your seat buckle unbearable and almost suffocating as you rushed home, the AC wouldn’t help, your hair was down and it was like a furnace, making the back of your neck sweat like crazy. You almost fell asleep a couple times as you waited for the red lights to turn green. The honking of angry drivers behind you shook you back to reality. Your palms were sweaty as you held onto the steering wheel tightly, as if it were a lifeline, the only thing grounding you to reality.

Your schedule is stretched thin, all taken up by your stupid workplace, your routine consisted of waking up, brushing your teeth, doing your shift, going home, dinner, falling asleep. Sometimes you fell asleep in your work clothes, other times you would skip dinner to take a shower, you’ve been neglecting your health badly for the extra paychecks.

Thankfully today was your last day of painful shifts that make your legs hurt and pride hurt even more. Retail wasn’t the best way of making money, and the customers definitely didn’t help, it took everything in you not to spit back insults at those horrid people, but you bit your tongue and told yourself your job would be on the line.

You got home around 7:22 pm, the sun was still up in the sky but it felt like your day was already over. You managed to find motivation to do something before bed, to help yourself relax and start the next morning off on a good note. You had the weekend for yourself, might as well make the best of it.

You started by setting something up for dinner. You forgot to stop at the grocery store so you couldn’t make much, you mentally cursed yourself at the realization. You settled for something simple, easy on the stomach, you might need something light after only eating instant ramen and microwaveable meals the past week.

You got the ingredients ready, pots set up, and you stopped in front of the sink to wash your hands, it seemed your mind was on other things as the soap lathered and washed away the work of the day. Lost in your thoughts, you didn’t even notice a man next to you, watching your every move, it wasn’t until he reached out to touch your hand that you snapped back to reality.

“The fuck- AH!!” You yelped when you saw a hand reach out from seemingly nowhere, you stepped back abruptly, away from the man, and snapped your head in the direction of where the hand came from, to find an unassuming, very handsome, young man.

Your fear quickly turned to shock when it clicked, that wasn’t just a random man that broke in, it’s your soulmate! He looked at you with slightly widened eyes, his surprise didn’t meet his lips, his hand still hovering in the air from when he tried to touch your hand, but still, as if he’s waiting for your permission to touch him.

He has a quiet aura to him. His expressions are muted, barely there, but you can tell exactly what he’s feeling as if you two are connected—most likely from your soulmate link. His eyebrows, thick and dark, were the first place your eyes went to, it contracted with his pale skin, accentuating how his color palette was so elegant and attractive. His jawline was sharper than a knife, cleanly shaven. His lips are plump, slightly parted, they look divine, you’re too stunned to realize you’re leaning in slightly, your body already wanting a taste before your mind can catch up. His eyes are a gentle but deep brown, it makes you wonder how beautiful his eyes would look in the sunlight, or how innocent he would look with a shimmer in his eyes. His skin looks smooth and spotless, except for a few moles, one on his cheekbone, another one on the side of his nose, and one last mole near the corner of his mouth. His hair is dyed blonde, which looked absolutely stunning on him, it gave him another layer of innocence that you wanted to take away so desperately.

“You alright now?” Your soulmate says, his honeyed, deep voice filling the air, breaking the silence, breaking you out of your trance. “Oh- I’m good.” You lie, your voice escaping you in short breaths. You blink your surprise away, straightening yourself now that you’re practically melting under his gaze.

It’s not until you brush your hair out of your face that you realize how messy you look, still in your work clothes, hair greasy, sweaty from the car ride home, you most likely have eye bags from the quality of sleep your getting, and you probably broke out, you were too busy the past week to pay attention to something as tedious as skincare. Shame and embarrassment fills you and you squeak, immediately darting past him, not wanting to make a bad first impression, you sprint down the hallway to the bathroom.

“Wait- I want to know your name!” You hear your soulmate shout as you run past, you shout back an excuse. “Gotta shower! Later!” You stop in your tracks, the bathroom door almost closed when you hear his voice approaching the bathroom. “Can I help?” Your heart skips a beat at the thought. He doesn’t even know your name but he wants to help you shower?

The image burns itself into your mind. You, naked, relaxing under the water as his elegant, smooth hands run over your body—his voice snaps you out of your daydreams. “I’ll behave myself, I won’t do anything you wouldn’t want, Princess.” The pet name nearly makes your knees buckle. You never knew you had a thing for pet names, or was it the fact that he was your soulmate? Whatever, that was all it takes before you start to crack the door open more, and find your handsome, well groomed soulmate standing in front of the door, looking hopeful, almost eager to help.

“Come in.” You say after a moment, your mind running with dirty thoughts that would make a prostitute blush. He steps in once the gap is big enough for him to fit in, and you catch him glancing at your body, curiously, reverently, as if he’s undressing you with his eyes. “Thank you.” He says with a small, soft smirk.

“Oh- should I-“ you cut yourself off as your eyes widen, realizing that you might need to take your clothes off to let him help you shower. Your soulmate, wanting to watch you strip down, hesitates before turning around to give you privacy, as if he isn’t about to see you, touch you, in a few moments. You unbutton the work shirt you’re wearing, shimmying out of the uncomfortable pants you also have to wear. You unclasp your bra and let it fall to the ground, your panties discarded quickly after. He seems to know when you’re done, and turns around, not giving you a moment to say you’re done.

The moment he sees your body, it’s like the wind is knocked out of him. His calm, put together demeanor cracks when his eyes catch on your pert nipples, already hardening from the cool air, his gaze drifts down, drinking in the sight of your bare skin, gentle curves, his breath quickening with each moment, his eyes widening slightly like earlier, his hands twitch at his sides, as if holding back the urge to reach out and touch your soft, supple skin. You notice his wandering gaze and your cheeks warm up, you turn towards the shower and step in it, not giving him any more time to ogle your body.

“I’m behaving- I promise Princess.” He calls out with that teasing nickname that makes your thighs press together, ashamed that he got caught checking you out already, he tries to make it up to you. You don’t respond, still trying to process the fact that he’s seeing you, really seeing you, you step into the shower and turn the knob, the warm water beginning to spray out the shower head. Your soulmate takes the hint and follows you, stopping beside the shower, you hesitate before you turn to him, your heart skipping a beat when you see the look in his eyes, concealed lust, masked with an equally as real look of admiration. As if he wants to care for you and fuck you dumb at the same time.

“Can I?” He gestures to the loofa hung up in the shower, presumably asking to wash you, watching as the water starts to sprinkle from the shower head, cascading down your soft body, the same body he wants to worship and make love to. You turn to him, reading his expression before you nod. You would love for him to wash you. You’ve been waiting years to finally have your soulmate, and he’s here! You want to do anything and everything with him, helping you shower is the least of it, not even scratching the surface of your daydreams.

He immediately reaches for the loofa, squeezing some coconut scented body wash onto the loofa before lathering it, giving your body a once over before he looks up at you, slowly lowering the sudsy loofa onto your shoulder, your eyes drift to his face, his handsome, reverent expression, dark eyes locked on your body as the loofa drags across your skin, washing your arms and shoulders. His eyes have a fire to them, burning in your skin, as if he’s holding back the urge to do something.

Once he’s done with your arms and shoulders, his other hand finds your waist as he washes behind your ears, in your ears, your neck, the neck he desperately wants to mark, your collarbone, he hesitates before the loofa dips between the valley of your breasts, his other hand dragging up along your side to gently cup your breast, your breath catches in response, and his eyes flick to yours, as if checking if your okay, before the loofa begins or trace the curve of your breast. His movements aren’t sexual or romantic, just caring, like he’s nurturing somebody, not pleasuring them.

The loofa explores your chest, your abdomen, it travels to the small of your back, up your spine, and through it all, your soulmate looks determined, reverent, as he washes your body head to toe. He doesn’t seem to react as he moves down to your thighs, gently maneuvering your limbs so he can reach your inner thighs, not paying attention to the heat between your legs, before he moves down to your calfs, his free hand holding your hip.

For the first time since he started, he says something. His voice is softer, as if the words slipped out before he could stop them. “You look like a goddess..” His hand pauses on your other calf, glancing up at you with a hint of embarrassment at his words he couldn’t stop in time. You respond with a blank stare, your body reaching to the sight of him on his knees, performing such an intimate act before you, and that compliment? Your knees are weak. He doesn’t dwell on it, tilting his head back down as he finishes washing your lower half. After a while of watching his elegant hands travel your body, he stands back up. Meeting your eyes again.

“Do you feel better?” His voice is soft like last time, but his words are more intentional, meant for you. You step under the water, rinsing the body wash off as you nod. “Better than usual.” You admit with a smile, even if you daydreamed about many things with him, you wouldn’t, you cant act on them. It’s as if your body wants to keep the moment intimate, sensual but not sexual. Your not even sure if your prepared yet.

“Good. Let me wash your hair.” He says with a small smirk. You close your eyes and turn around, tilting your head up as he grabs the shampoo and squeezes some in his hand, he starts to work the shampoo into your scalp, the sound of the shower running and his hands massaging your scalp fill the air, and you let out a soft, almost inaudible moan as he moves his hands against your hairline in such a way that seems practiced, as if he’s done this before. He doesn’t seem to react immediately, feeling a warmth deep in his lower belly before he shuffles behind you, letting out a heavy breath before he continues to wash your hair.

“You should really tell me your name.” He whispers, as if the words are meant for you, only you. You come back to reality, forgetting that you don’t know his either. “Only if you tell me yours.” You respond, staring up at the ceiling as you feel his elegant fingers thread through your hair, expertly washing your hair. You hear your soulmate lean in slightly before he speaks in your ear, his voice deep, low, intimate. “I’m Sunghoon. Now what’s your name, pretty girl?” He quirks his head, a teasing smile on Sunghoon’s lips. The tone of his voice makes your fingers twitch and your whole body shudder, you close your eyes before you answer. “Y/N.” You hear him exhale and lean back, gently guiding your head under the water to rinse the shampoo.

“Pretty name for a pretty princess~” Sunghoon lets out an airy chuckle before shuffling again. You don’t seem to register his chuckle, or the way he seems to have a brick in his pants. This week has been long and a shower is exactly what you need. Your soulmate is just a bonus. Once he’s done with your hair, he moves to turn off the shower, stealing a glance at the curve of your ass before stepping back, unable to take his eyes off you as he fetches a clean towel from under the sink, and unfolds it, reverently wrapping it around you, like your a fragile thing. He grunts as he manages to pick you up, his biceps flexing at the effort. You gasp at the sudden change and wrap your arms around his neck, your damp hair clinging to your skin.

He gives you a cocky smile as he carries you down the hallway and into your bedroom, you shiver along the way, not giving you any chance to react before he sets you down on his bed. “Dry yourself before I find some PJ’s, don’t want you to be cold, Y/N.” Sunghoon says gently, keeping his eyes locked on yours before he leans in and presses his soft, plump lips to your forehead, lingering on your skin before he pulls back and stands up, the kiss is a gesture that makes your heart skip a beat, a gesture that makes you stop and replay the moment over and over again. He turns around with an effortless grace, like it’s natural for him. He approaches your slightly ajar closet and begins to rummage through it.

As he gets to the closet, you can’t help but notice the ripple of his muscles as he sifts through the choices in your closet, and you thank the universe greatly for their choice in a soulmate. He’s absolutely perfect, he respects boundaries, he’s caring, he’s handsome, he’s the whole package!! and I bet he’s packing too.. You shake the unholy thoughts away and abruptly stand up, patting yourself dry, hurriedly towel drying your hair. In no time Sunghoon turns around with a soft smile, his eyes lingering on your skin before approaches you and sets an outfit on the bed.

It’s an oversized shirt, short shorts, and a matching pair of undergarments. Of course he would choose the most casual but enticing option. You don’t seem to care as you let the towel fall to the ground, Sunghoon turning around to give you more privacy before you slip on the panties, clasp the bra behind you, stepping into the shorts and pulling them up, and finally putting on the shirt. The short shorts aren’t visible as the oversized shirt swallows you whole, which is exactly what Sunghoon wanted when he picked out the outfit. He thought that maybe no shorts was a bit daring, so he compromised.

Like always, he knew when you were done, and turned around, his deep eyes roaming your body appreciatively before he steps forward. His toned arm slips around your waist and pulls you into his chest, your breath catches, but feeling his lips on the top of his head makes you relax, you huff against his chest before you wrap your arms around him, your arms are barely able to fully grasp him before he runs his fingers along your spine, through the oversized shirt, making your skin tingle and your body shudder from the intimate, light touches.

You feel Sunghoon’s lips smirk against your scalp, before he grips your waist tightly, lifting you with ease, your hands grab at his flexing biceps for stability as your startled again from his sudden actions, you quickly relax when he lays you down on the bed. Slipping beside you, his arms find their way around your waist again, pulling you against him yet again, his face nuzzling in your freshly washed hair. “Mm.. so pretty.” Sunghoon mumbles against your scalp, his voice intimate, smooth, his words meant for you, only you, his soulmate. “So lucky I’m your soulmate.”

Barely any time passes before you fall asleep in your soulmates arms, just as you fantasized before. Being wrapped in your soulmates warmth, his breath light against the back of your neck, his hard body pressed against your gentle curves, it’s like a dream come true. All your rough work days and sore feet are forgotten as you bask in Sunghoon’s embrace.

— — —

AGAIN PLS GIVE FEEDBACK I WANNA IMPROVE and also taking more Enha req, also smut coming next chapter if I’m not ashamed by the time I’m finished

#sunghoon x reader #first fanfic #help idk what im doing #enhypen #sunghoon #sunghoon fanfic #sunghoon fluff #soulmates #feedback please

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summerclementine27 · 9 months ago

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Meet Me in The Hallway🌷pt. 1

summary: Mr. Styles has possibly interested Y/N more than his literature classes and she finds herself pining for him over the months.

pairings: professor!harry, student!reader

warnings: small age difference, mentions of smut

word count: 4.7k

note: i wanted to make this one part but it will be too long so there will have to be a part 2

part 2: https://www.tumblr.com/summerclementine27/757559698881986560/meet-me-in-the-hallway-pt2

Tender days of mid-October

As I took my seat in the large lecture hall, a sense of anticipation loomed over me. Today, Mr. Styles was giving us the results of the last literature and theory criticism coursework I had handed in the previous week. This was my third class with him, one of two this school year, the other being Contemporary Literature. Last year, he taught me Introduction to Literature, a mandatory class for my degree. Though I dreaded it at first due to his choice of reading list, I ended up falling in love with the course because of the way he taught it. Some works I initially criticized him for choosing, he ended up using as examples and critiqued them himself, like "The Awakening" by Kate Chopin. Plus, it helped that he was impossibly handsome with his tall frame, tousled brown hair, and piercing green eyes.

When my friends noticed how much I liked his class, they were unfazed. However, as I became somewhat of a teacher’s pet in a class rudimentary compared to the others I took this year—such as Feminism and Literature, Historical Narratives in Fiction, and Postcolonial Literary Criticism—they realized that maybe the tall, green-eyed man was what had really piqued my interest, not discussing "Middlemarch" for four classes.

On days when I had his class, I dressed extra nicely, sometimes even daring to pair a clean collared shirt with a shorter-than-usual skirt. One time, I even left my wool trench coat on during the first period and stood up from my auditorium seat to take it off. Sitting in the back, the rows of chairs likely covered the lower part of my body, but I was sure the space between my long boots and short skirt was visible from his vantage point. Surely, my abrupt standing would grab his attention. What I didn’t anticipate was him pausing in the middle of a long train of thought to stare, then quickly catching himself and stuttering before continuing seamlessly as I knew he would. My friend Anika, seated in one of the front rows, noticed and turned to see what had caught his attention. To her dismay, I was playing games with someone totally unattainable again. But she knew I thrived on academic validation, and this little crush of mine would only drive me to excel in more classes.

"Are you serious, Y/N? He's our professor." she exclaimed once.

"I know, but he's just... different."

"Different? Or is it the way he looks at you when you answer a question?"

"Maybe both. Besides, this crush is making me work harder. You can't argue with the results."

"Just be careful. I don't want you getting hurt."

In fact, it drove me to do more than that. One time, Mr. Styles noticed my passion for poetry after I shamelessly defended the works of Sylvia Plath with a controversial view that modern poetry should not shy away from the stark realities of mental health. He gave me a few poetry anthologies and compilations, including his annotated copies. I fawned over reading his notes and even emailed him once, pretending that I had "accidentally" annotated something, forgetting it wasn’t my own copy after losing myself in the literature. He replied kindly:

Mr. Styles: "Please, feel free to annotate as much as you like. I would be honored to have your opinions inked on my favorite copies."

By the next semester, after encouraging me to join the poetry society, Mr. Styles nominated me for president, and I was thrilled to win. He insisted on celebrating, gently grasping my upper arm and smiling warmly as he said he expected nothing less. I brought a bottle of wine to his office, where he had asked me to meet him, only to find the entire poetry society there, ready to congratulate me. The gathering lingered for a few delightful hours before everyone left, leaving just the two of us to clean up.

"You really impressed everyone tonight, Y/N. Not that I'm surprised." He began once we were truly all alone.

"Thank you, Mr. Styles. I couldn't have done it without your support."

"Well, you deserve it. By the way, outside of class and school hours, you can call me Harry." He said in his thick Manchester accent.

"Only if you stop calling me Ms. Y/L/N." I joked.

"Hey! I only do that sometimes. Plus, I can't call out to you in class like, 'Y/N, will you read the next slide?' People will think..."

"...think I’m the teacher’s favorite?" I finished his sentence with a teasing smile.

I couldn’t take the lingering stares and supposedly accidental touches we were both guilty of. But I knew that if I really wanted this, if I wanted to be more than just a student he regretted being tempted by when I graduated, then I had to play the long game.

And indeed I did. I kept up my habit of always showing up well-dressed in elegant coats and well-fitting clothing. I accentuated my features with a light coat of makeup, even if I had to apply it on a bumpy bus ride to campus. I even signed up for his office hours, despite really not needing them, just to exchange thoughts and opinions under the guise of “wanting to make sure I'm on the right track.” I wanted him to get to know me more, to realize that despite my youth, I was mature and thoughtful.

At the start of the second year, he emailed me to come to campus a few times in August, a month before the start of term, to discuss my responsibilities as the founder of the debate team. The idea sparked in his mind after I excelled in the heated debate he chose to hold as our first-year final assessment. He was so in awe that he went as far as saying I could compete at a national level on the English debate team, which neither of us was certain of, but I accepted the compliment.

Our earlier meetings were spent cooped up in his office, reviewing why the last debate team failed almost a decade ago and planning the structure for the new team. We discussed everything from team dynamics to potential debate topics, ensuring we were prepared for any challenge.

On one of the hotter days in August, we took our meeting to the university courtyard, having grown tired of experiencing the last bursts of England’s so-called summer from his office window. It was a beautiful window, and a big one at that, but it didn’t compare to actually being outside. That day, I realized the majority of planning for the next few months had already been accomplished in our first few meetings, and I got the hint that he didn’t actually need my help now that I had settled everything I could that wasn’t on an administrative level. So naturally, I decided to have a little fun.

I was wearing penny loafers with black tailored pants that I got fitted for when I visited my mum in London in July. I had paired them with a light knit sweater that fit slightly loosely over my shoulders, often falling down to reveal a collarbone. When I saw him take off his blazer and loosen his tie, I took that as my green light to take off something of my own, knowing I was wearing a neat white tank top underneath. As I slipped the sweater off, covering my face with the fabric, I could see his face through the thin material, making out his features and briefly noticing his eyes on my body. Sitting up straight, I managed to remove the sweater from over my head neatly. Once he saw my face, a soft blush made it to his own.

"Did I mess up my hair?" I asked, as if I hadn’t planned on brushing down the strands that had likely gone astray or as if I was oblivious to the fact that I had just taken off my sweater in front of him.

"Um, yeah, a bit at the top," he said, chuckling as if he wasn’t just clearing his throat in a flustered manner before my face was revealed from under the sweater.

To my surprise, he reached out, inching himself closer to where I was sitting on the bench we shared. With two fingers, his index and middle, he gently brushed down the messy hair on either side of the top of my head.

"Thank you, Harry," I said softly.

However, nothing could have prepared me for what would happen later this year.

As the class settled down to receive their marks on the literature and theory criticism coursework, Mr. Styles walked in, dressed in a well-fitted navy suit with a crisp white shirt. He took off his coat and placed it on the edge of his desk, a departure from his usual habit of draping it over the back of his chair. He wasted no time before pulling out the papers from his leather satchel and making his way down the aisles of the lecture hall, passing out the papers to everyone. When he read out my name, I watched as his eyes searched for me across the hall, darting from one side of the room to the other. It was unlike me to skip his class, so he knew all he had to do was find me. I hadn’t planned this specific event, but I enjoyed it, nonetheless. Once he found me, he smiled sheepishly, yet much more subtly than he did when we were alone and made his way to me.

"Excellent work, Y/L/N," he said as he gently placed the papers on my desk. "I especially appreciate the effort of handwriting this," he remarked, although everyone knew he didn’t care if papers were written by hand or typed on a computer.

I had deliberately written my paper by hand after he replied to an email of mine. I had thanked him for letting me borrow his books, and his response was a charming note saying he’d enjoyed reading my annotations and adored my handwriting. For once, I was glad that my all-girls school had emphasized cursive writing, as I used it to add a romantic touch to my work.

When I finally read his comments and feedback, I was met with admiration and praise. In one of the margins, he had written, “Your insights are so compelling, it’s impossible not to fall in love with your analysis.” On the final page, at the bottom, he had added, “It’s a privilege to be your professor. Your brilliance shines so brightly that it’s clear this paper is a testament to your exceptional talent.”

Often times I worried that there actually was something going on between us, and that his praise and charming were remarks were not that of a proud professor, but of an infatuated man instead. So that day, I decided to address it.

As the lecture drew to a close, I lingered in my seat, carefully packing up my belongings with deliberate slowness. The classroom slowly emptied, the murmur of students’ conversations fading into the background as they made their way out. I wanted to be alone with Mr. Styles, to discuss something that had been weighing on my mind. By the time I made my way down the row of seats to his desk, the room was empty except for the two of us.

“Mr. Styles,” I began hesitantly, catching his eye as he gathered his papers. “I was hoping to ask you something.”

He looked up, a faint smile playing on his lips. “Of course, go ahead. I’m actually glad you stayed behind. There’s something I’d like to ask you as well.”

A sudden rush of anxiety gripped me. The possibility of crossing a line—whether I had done so with my subtle flirtations or if he were about to make a move that could alter our dynamic—was almost too much to bear.

My fantasies of him flashed through my mind. I had dreamt of intimate moments with him like kissing him, waking up in his bed, or better yet, on the couch in his office after a late romantic night together. I had once pictured us sitting on the floor around his small coffee table as we did one time when they ordered takeout during one of our August meetings except this time I would slip my shoes off casually and find a way to stroke my foot, clothed thin leggings, against his leg, looking at him with doe eyes as I dare to not so innocently asks if he ever thought about me sexually.

Hell, I even pictured him going down on me after laying me on his desk and even touched myself to the idea of riding him while he sat on his office chair. I would sneak into the small space between him and his desk and shut off his laptop while he graded my papers, cockily saying “We already know I got an A” – despite my crippling self-doubt without tangible affirmation – as I sit on his lap. In this fantasy he would laugh at my remark and gladly embrace me with a hand on my ass, the other intertwined among thick locks of my long hair, messing it up as I teasingly kiss him, ever so aware of the friction I’m creating between our crotches.

But still, to think that he would propose something to me in that moment, sexual or romantic, casually after class as if I haven’t been pining for two Octobers made me incredibly nervous.

I cleared my throat, trying to steady my voice as I met his gaze. “Mr. Styles, well, first of all this has nothing to do with the actual course itself, maybe a bit but...” I trailed off “It’s... it’s been on my mind for a while.”

He raised an eyebrow, curiosity evident in his expression. “Sure, go ahead. I’m happy to answer anything.” He smiled shyly to comfort me.

I took a deep breath, my heart pounding as I prepared to voice my concerns. “Do you think that maybe my behavior in class, my enthusiasm, or even my approach to your feedback has influenced you to… um… maybe to favor me? Over other students I mean.” I began nervously, desperately searching for an expression on his blank face.

“Maybe sometimes I get a little excited and forget that you are my professor and not my friend or something, I think I may have overstepped my boundaries but… but you treat me as an equal which, by the way, I have always greatly appreciated. I mean, it has offered me an opportunity to grow as a student like no other, but I still worry…”I trailed off, now a stern look evident on his face and possibly even hurt.

He paused for a moment, his gaze thoughtful as he considered my words. “I appreciate your honesty and self-awareness,” he said finally, his voice steady but soft. “It’s clear that you’re passionate and dedicated, and I value that. But it’s important to remember that I strive to maintain fairness in all my interactions with students.”

I bit my lip, feeling a mix of relief and apprehension. “I understand, Mr. Styles. I just want to make sure that if I take pride in these academic accomplishments… if I want to revel in the fact that I always receive praise from you and rarely any criticism – like todays feedback for example, which included no criticism, I want to make sure it is because I am worthy of it. And not because I won you over by involving myself in your extracurriculars or because we are… uh.. friendly.”

He looked at me with a reassuring smile, his gaze steady and sincere. “First of all, let me assure you that you are never inappropriate. The friendship we’ve developed is separate from our academic interactions. Outside of school hours, I call you by your first name to maintain that distinction. In the classroom, I evaluate you purely on your merit.”

He leaned forward slightly, his tone earnest. “The reason your feedback today contained no criticism is that your paper was truly flawless. If there had been any weaknesses or areas for improvement, I would have pointed them out without hesitation. I hold you in very high regard academically, and that respect extends to all aspects of your work. If I ever notice any shortcomings, I will address them so you have the opportunity to refine and grow.”

His expression softened, a touch of concern in his eyes. “The only issue I see here is that you are doubting yourself. Your achievements and the praise you receive are well-deserved. You have a remarkable ability, and I believe in your potential. My only hope is that you start to see in yourself what I see in you – a brilliant, dedicated student who deserves every bit of recognition they receive.”

I nodded, feeling a sense of relief and a renewed confidence. When I looked down at my lap I heard him continue:

“And of course I value the relationship we have fostered outside of class. Would I be the man I am today if you hadn’t introduced me to the wonders of Moroccan cuisine?” He tried to joke to ease the tension and unsurprisingly it worked as it earned him a soft chuckle of honest amusement.

“Theres the y/n I know and love” he bantered though I cant say my heart didn’t skip a beat at the mention of the word “love”.

“You know, there are many other cuisines you’re yet to try,” I said with a playful glint in my eye. “For someone who’s so well-traveled and cultured, it’s surprising how much you’ve missed out on when it comes to food.” I teased.

“Well, perhaps you’ll tell me all about it when we’re in Amsterdam for the debate competition,” he said with a smile, his eyes twinkling with genuine excitement.

I blinked, momentarily stunned. “Wait, what? You secured that for us?” My voice wavered slightly as my heart leaped with joy. “I can’t believe it! I’m so excited. This is incredible news!”

He chuckled, clearly pleased with my reaction. “I thought you’d like that. It’s an excellent opportunity, and I know how much you’ve been looking forward to it.”

I couldn’t help but beam, my excitement bubbling over. “This is amazing, truly. Thank you so much!” I stepped closer, touched by his thoughtfulness and dedication.

As I reached out, our hands brushed briefly, a fleeting touch that sent a shiver through me. His gaze softened, and I could see the sincerity in his eyes. “I’m just glad we get to share this experience together,” he said softly.

The moment felt charged, filled with unspoken words and mutual appreciation. I nodded, my heart full of gratitude and warmth. “Me too,” I murmured, feeling the depth of our connection more than ever before.

Time jump – December is getting ready for Christmas.

As we stepped into the hotel lobby, the excitement was palpable among the debate team. Amsterdam was already charming me, even though I’d only glimpsed it through the bus window. The streets were lined with picturesque canals and quaint buildings, each one more enchanting than the last. I couldn’t help but talk animatedly about how I’d dreamed of visiting the Netherlands ever since my father told me stories about the blooming flower fields when I was a child.

Harry, who had been sitting beside me on the bus, watched with a fond smile. “You really seem to love the city,” he said. “Maybe we could find a couple of free days between the training and the competition to visit the flower fields.”

My eyes widened in delight. “Really? That would be incredible. But managing a whole field trip with the debate team might be a bit complicated.”

He grinned, a glint of mischief in his eyes. “Well, we could go alone. Just you and me. A little escape from the team.” He added. “We could explore some other things too if we’d like.”

The thought of spending time alone with him, wandering through a sea of flowers, made my heart race. I felt a warm blush creep up my cheeks. “That sounds amazing. I’d love that.”

When we checked into the hotel and were given our room keys, Anika, my vice president, and I realized that Harry and I had rooms on a separate floor. In fact, they were deluxe rooms though him and I booked standard rooms for everyone when we went over the budget. Anika seemed particularly perplexed by this.

“Why did you get such a nice room and I didn’t?” Anika questioned, her tone tinged with curiosity as she approached me in the lobby.

I shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant. “Maybe Mr. Styles thought I needed a little extra comfort. You know, as president” I joked, not really sure if that was the case. “Besides, he probably just had to make decisions based on what was available.” I found myself lying, knowing I was curious myself.”

Anika raised an eyebrow. “Or maybe he’s using the budget money to splurge on you. I’ve noticed you two have become quite friendly. Could it be that he has a thing for you?” she teased, knowing I have spent months pining and flirting.

I laughed, shaking my head. “I don’t think so, Anika. We’re friends, and that’s all it is. I don’t think he feels anything else.” I said, confidant of my words for the first time in this conversation. “Plus, you are the only person other than me and Harry that got her own room. Others are sharing and you likely have a king bed all to yourself.”

“Harry? Is that his name now?” she smirked. “I guess you forgot to tell me you are on a first name basis. Are you holding out on me Y/L/N?” she joked though she was never oblivious to the fact that you kept some encounters with Harry to yourself, as if it would fuel the fantasy somehow.

I raised an eyebrow and gave her a playful grin. “Oh, come on. You have to admit everyone in the poetry society calls him that when we are outside the university.” I said, knowing that it was only one guy who was a family friend of Harry’s who got the honor.

She chuckled, but there was a hint of curiosity in her gaze. “Right. But you can’t deny there’s something a bit… special about how you two interact. Just saying.”

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t suppress a smile. “Well, if it makes you feel any better, I’m not holding my breath for anything more on this trip. We’re here for the debate, remember? That’s the focus. But if anything happens later…” I shrugged playfully as she returned my knowing smile.

“Fair enough. Just keep your eyes open anyway, okay? Sometimes things happen when you least expect them to.”

I heard Harry calling my name from the end of the hall. I turned around to see him walking towards me with a thoughtful expression.

“Hey, do you still want to gather the debate team for a brief practice session before the afternoon debate?” he asked, his tone carrying a hint of concern.

I shook my head, smiling. “No, no need. You were right; they need a break. Plus, everyone has their notecards and seems prepared.”

Harry nodded, his smile relaxing into a satisfied grin. “Alright then. Let’s head to the elevator; it’ll be a bit quieter now anyway.”

We walked to the elevator together, and once inside, he pressed the button for my floor. The confined space seemed to amplify the gentle hum of the elevator, making it feel intimate.

Harry glanced at me with a soft smile, his eyes lingering a moment longer than usual. “Your hair looks different today. Did you do something special with it?” he asked, his voice carrying a playful undertone.

I felt a tinge of embarrassment, my cheeks warming slightly. “I just blow-dried it differently since I was in a rush this morning,” I replied, trying to sound casual.

Harry’s smile grew, his eyes twinkling with a mix of admiration and something else I couldn’t quite place. “Well, it looks beautiful. I wouldn’t have guessed it was rushed.”

His compliment made my heart flutter, and I couldn’t help but smile. “Thanks, Harry. That makes me feel a lot better about this hectic morning” I tried to divert the conversation, feeling nervous at his focus on me.

“Yeah, well, at least you have matching socks,” he joked, and before I could ask him what the hell he was talking about, he lifted his foot, revealing his own mismatched socks with a playful grin.

I couldn’t help but laugh. “You and your accidental fashion choices,” I said, shaking my head with a smile, remembering that time I complimented his shoes only to find out he ordered the wrong ones online and couldn’t get them returned. He looked handsome in them anyway, I had told him.

He shrugged, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “What can I say? I like to keep things interesting. And besides, it’s a good thing someone’s got their fashion game on point around here.” He said, brushing off the fact that it was a rushed accident.

I playfully nudged him. “Well, I guess I’ll take that as a compliment. And for the record, I do have matching socks today, just in case you were wondering.”

Harry’s eyes softened as he looked at me, a warmth in his gaze that made my heart flutter. “Well, I must say, your socks are a lot less distracting than mine.”

I chuckled, feeling the tension between us ease into something more comfortable and light-hearted.

As the elevator chimed and the doors slid open to my floor, Harry didn’t make a move to exit. Instead, he turned to me with a charming grin, his eyes sparkling with warmth. “Let me walk you to your room. It’s the least I can do. After all, it’s not every day I get to be a gentleman,” he said, completely ignoring the fact that his room was directly across from the elevator.

I laughed softly, touched by his thoughtfulness. “You’re too kind, Harry. It’s just down the hall here,” I said, gesturing toward my door, which was a short distance away from his.

As we walked together down the hallway, the atmosphere felt lighter, filled with a quiet, pleasant tension. Harry’s presence beside me was comforting, and I found myself appreciating the little things—like how he occasionally glanced my way, as if trying to make the moment last just a bit longer.

When we reached my door, Harry reached out and brushed his hand lightly against mine as he opened the door for me. “Even so, a little extra time with you—well, when else can I talk about my accidental shenanigans and have someone listen intently?” His voice was low and warm, and his gaze lingered on me with an intensity that sent a thrill down my spine.

I felt a flutter in my chest at his words but remained blissfully unaware of the deeper implications behind his gaze. “Well,” I said, smiling as I unlocked the door and stepped inside. “Thanks for walking me. It’s always nice to have a bit of company, especially when the company is as pleasant as yours.”

Harry’s smile grew softer, and he took a step back, still holding my gaze. “Anytime, y/n. I’ll see you in a few hours. Get some rest.

“You too, Harry.” I said as he walked back to his own room.

——————————————————————

PART TWO IS NOW UP 🌷🌷

#harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles smut #harry styles x reader #harry styles #harry styles story #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic rec

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starmocha · 5 months ago

Text

For the self-loathing players who want to read deep dives of Sylus' myth, Beyond Cloudfall, and suffer even more, this is for you, babe. ❤️‍🩹 A compilation of all the Sylus-related posts/analysis/recaps I made about the myth (so far???).

SPOILERS FOR SYLUS' MYTH - BEYOND CLOUDFALL

Recaps

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapters 7-8 (see Abyssal Blossom deep dive below) Chapter 9

Thoughts

Young Sylus thoughts Things That Fucked Me Up Deep dive of Abyssal Blossom: dream or reality? (Includes recaps of chapters 7-8)

References between myth and main story/memories

Allusions to Sylus' Past

Long-Awaited Revelry Chapter 2.12 Continuous Symphony "A wounded person might never wake up again if they fall asleep." video clip "Was it this song?" (includes video/audio of the reverie) Lost Oasis Sylus drawing "Do you think we're talking about the same world?" "I'm thinking about what you were like before you became the N109 Zone's Sylus." "By knowing someone's past, you can understand their present self."

Parallels

Long-Awaited Revelry + Continuous Symphony: Vision Long-Awaited Revelry + Continuous Symphony: Remembering Long-Awaited Revelry + Lost Oasis: This WorldIntrusive Thoughts

Answering asks related to the myth

Why did Sylus use MC to kill himself? Is main story Sylus suicidal? — Counterpoint + Additional Commentary

Healing Sylus Posts For Post-Reading

Sylus post I look at when I'm sad "Are you satisfied with it, my beloved?" Audio "You should know very well that I adore you." Audio 🎶 Rock-a-bye baby 🎶 Audio Girlie pop Sylus Audio Meo-aww! Audio Meow meow Audio Meow-hmph Audio Soft Sylus supremacy, part 1 Soft Sylus supremacy, part 2 His smile 🥹 Sylus being perfect I just like his face 💁‍♀️ Big fan of this actually 🥹 Subjecting the fandom to my hand fetish, part 3 Zero fucking context Down bad for Sylus

☆ Will update as needed. I live in this pit of despair now. I will be dissecting this myth until I die I guess. 💔

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace sylus #lads — beyond cloudfall #lads — abyssal mark #lads — abyssal blossom #lads spoilers #lnds spoilers #masterpost #this is my purgatory #i will just be dissecting the myth forever i guess #💁‍♀️

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dollyichi · 4 months ago

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MY HERO ACADEMIA MASTERLIST

MAIN MASTERLIST ᯓ★ this blog is strictly m—dni ! all characters are written as adults

#bnha thirsts are compilations of unlisted works and asks from you! [ ❤︎ ] — are n—sfw

ᯓ★ ONESHOTS

“ all yours “ ft. kaminari denki ⋮ 1.6k words ⋮ denki adores his girlfriend who tends to let her shyness get in the way at times. but today, for the first time, you asked him for something as bravely as you could—and he gladly gives it to you. [ ❤︎ ]

“ better than a blanket “ ft. bakugou katsuki ⋮ 1.04k words ⋮ sleepy domestic boyfriend katsuki

“ dream-like “ ft. todoroki shouto ⋮ 1.1k words ⋮ making your boyfriend’s dreams a reality early in the morning [ ❤︎ ]

“ i just got a crush! “ ft. bakugou katsuki ⋮ 1.02k words ⋮ everyone finds out about dynamight’s internet crush because of an accident (which he made)

“ just shut up! “ ft. kirishima eijirou ⋮ 1.8k words ⋮ always talks you through it. maybe a bit too much. [ ❤︎ ]

“ in-store exclusive “ ft. bakugou katsuki ⋮ 1.7k words ⋮ you catch him buying your merch during a morning patrol.

“ mad pup “ ft. kaminari denki ⋮ 2.7k words ⋮ your boyfriend’s sulky and playing hard to get because of a little misunderstanding. that’s fine, you always know how to get your way in the end. [ ❤︎ ]

“ oh katsuki “ ft. bakugou katsuki ⋮ 3.7k words ⋮ you just broke up with your ex, and your roommate’s boyfriend is miles away. having fun together shouldn’t be too bad, right? [ ❤︎ ]

ᯓ★ DRABBLES

only kisses with tamaki [ ❤︎ ]

calling your bf “your husband” with bakugou

three peas in a pod with bakugou

late send with todoroki (spin-off from three peas in a pod!)

teaching you how to touch yourself with denki [ ❤︎ ]

when he matches your freak with denki [ ❤︎ ]

earliest horniest moment with bakugou [ ❤︎ ]

tender moments with bakugou

extra lessons with midoriya [ ❤︎ ] (smau)

pet-names with kirishima [ ❤︎ ]

doggy style with bakugou [ ❤︎ ]

dumb petals with bakugou

ily = ? with bakugou

in a press conference with bakugou

late night reports with bakugou

ᯓ★ MULTIPLE CHARACTERS

we listen and we don’t judge : bakugou, denki, midoriya, todoroki, tamaki, nejire, and kirishima [ ❤︎ ]

undercover (smau) : mina messes with your phone while you sleep! part 1 with bakugou, sero, and kaminari + part 2 with todoroki, kirishima, and midoriya

i want something else : kirishima, bakugou, kaminari, midoriya, sero, and todoroki [ ❤︎ ]

ᯓ★ SERIES

dynamight x actress reader masterlist ⋮ an anthology of this au!

do not copy, plagiarize, translate, or repost my works. likes and reblogs are always appreciated, thank you for supporting my writing as always!

#ᦾִ⁠❤︎ by cola #bnha thirsts

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ireadyabooks · 2 days ago

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Books That Make You Feel Less Alone 💚

To celebrate Mental Health Awareness Month, our community at I read YA has compiled some of our favorite books from this year that make us feel less alone. This list includes important and moving novels that speak honestly and powerfully about mental health. We recognize that sometimes all it takes is just a few words to make us feel like we are not alone, so we encourage you to spend some extra time with these special reads this month.

What are some books that make you feel less alone? 💚

One Last Chance to Live by Francisco X. Stork

What would you do if you had one last chance to live?

Nico has always believed in his dreams. Especially the dream he has of becoming a writer; it's the reason why he started taking a creative writing class his senior year of high school. But then Nico has a dream about his own funeral. A dream that feels too real to ignore.

In it, Rosario is beckoning to him. Rosario was Nico's neighbor, his best friend's girlfriend, and his inspiration. She was also the girl that Nico was in love with. And Rosario died last year.

Nico becomes obsessed with figuring out what Rosario was trying to say to him, and how she died. Surely if he can make sense of her death, he can find a way to prevent his own?

But at the same time, Nico's mom is sick, and his brother is falling down a bad path with a local gang. Nico knows it's on him to step up and take care of his family -- but how can he keep it together when, like Rosario, he sees how easy it might be to just let go of it all.

Start reading One Last Chance to Live now!

I Was Born for This by Alice Oseman

For Angel Rahimi life is about one thing: The Ark -- a boy band that's taking the world by storm. Being part of The Ark's fandom has given her everything she loves -- her friend Juliet, her dreams, her place in the world. Her Muslim family doesn't understand the band's allure -- but Angel feels there are things about her they'll never understand.

Jimmy Kaga-Ricci owes everything to The Ark. He's their frontman -- and playing in a band with his mates is all he ever dreamed of doing, even if it only amplifies his anxiety. The fans are very accepting that he's trans -- but they also keep shipping him with his longtime friend and bandmate, Rowan. But Jimmy and Rowan are just friends -- and Rowan has a secret girlfriend the fans can never know about. Dreams don't always turn out the way you think and when Jimmy and Angel are unexpectedly thrust together, they find out how strange and surprising facing up to reality can be.

Start reading I Was Born for This now!

Rainbow! Volume 1 by Sunny & Gloomy

Teenager Boo Meadows has pink hair and a very vivid imagination -- she has trouble separating from the real world. In her daydreams, she dances beautifully at balls or fights monsters as a magical girl. In reality, she has a complicated home life, work stress, school stress, and a wicked crush on the girl of her dreams. When a new student, Mimi, arrives at school, Boo starts exploring a side of herself that she never considered before. As she grows closer with Mimi, it may finally be time for Boo to face reality . . . Who is the real Mimi? The one in her dreams? Or the one in real life?

Start reading Rainbow! Volume 1 now!

Rainbow! Volume 2 by Sunny & Gloomy

Teenager Boo Meadows's story continues in this second volume! With pink hair and a very vivid imagination, Boo has trouble separating from the real world. In her daydreams, she dances beautifully at balls or fights monsters as a magical girl. In reality, she has a complicated home life, work stress, school stress, and a wicked crush on the girl of her dreams.

After life became too toxic to endure, Boo has moved out of her alcoholic mother's house. Can Boo and Mimi stick together? And is dealing with Mimi's unapproving mother any better than Boo's mom?

Start reading Rainbow! Volume 2 now!

Your Final Moments by Jay Coles

Hakeem goes to Narcotics Anonymous meetings to keep his addictions in check. But when his best friend Miles kills himself, Hakeem finds the days harder and harder to get through. He loved Miles -- maybe even loved loved him -- and he's haunted by the fact that there might have been something he could have done to ease his friend's pain. He meets a girl named Eliza in his NA meetings, and she is there for him when something truly out-there happens... Hakeem calls Miles's old phone number. And Miles not only calls back from beyond the grave, but has news to share: He didn’t kill himself. He was murdered.

Finding out the truth about Miles might end up helping Hakeem find his way to his own truth... and further strength to stay alive himself. But as his relationship with Eliza grows, other cracks begin to show... and holding his world together may be even harder than he thought it would be.

Pre-order Your Final Moments now!

#I read YA #ya books #Mental Health Awareness Month #mental health #books that make you feel less alone #One Last Chance to Live #Francisco X. Stork #I Was Born for This #Alice Oseman #Rainbow! Vol. 1 #Rainbow! Vol. 2 #Sunny & Gloomy #Your Final Moments #Jay Coles

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unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240 · 1 year ago

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Ever since October 7th, the amount of misinformation and disinformation about Jews, Israel, Judaism, and even just like, basic facts about reality have been so intense that it's really dredging up a lot of my gaslighting trauma.

(No, not in the memic sense that it's been distorted into, but the kind of gaslighting that leads you to detransition and think it was your choice despite drowning in dysphoria, the kind that warps and changes and erases memories, and makes it so that you dissociate for literal months at a time to escape the pain. That kind.)

And I recognized this because I keep finding myself arguing facts and trying to reason with people who say that they're part of the compassionate left and care about working on antisemitism but yet spew the kind of antisemitism that would be totally at home on Stormfront.

It's that first arguing stage of gaslighting, where the abuser keeps saying outrageous, untrue things and you're still fighting to try and get them to empathize with you and seek mutual understanding. This:

A gaslighter does not simply need to be right. He or she also needs for you to believe that they are right. In stage 1, you know that they are being ridiculous, but you argue anyways. You argue for hours, without resolution. You argue over things that shouldn’t be up for debate — your feelings, your opinions, your experience of the world. You argue because you need to be right, you need to be understood, or you need to get their approval. In stage 1, you still believe yourself, but you also unwittingly put that belief up for debate.

(bolding mine) (source)

This is a pattern I recognize in myself in personal relationships and even within communities, but what's happening right now is a lot bigger and more diffuse. It's not one abuser or even a shitty cohort of abusive people who are monopolizing a community space. This is being encouraged in a frighteningly large number of non-Jewish progressive spaces. In the same way that stochastic terrorism adds up very quickly, this type of cultural gaslighting and stochastic emotional abuse feels like a deluge.

But if you look at history, this is not new, for Jews. This is but the latest version of a very long game of Why Won't You Just Give Up and Assimilate or Die that Jews have thus far prevailed on at great cost to ourselves.

Anyway I'm done arguing with goyim about things that absolutely should not be up for debate: Jewish history, Jewish culture, what certain religious concepts in Judaism mean, Jewish lived experiences, what is and isn't antisemitism. If you aren't willing to engage in a genuine way that seeks mutual understanding, I'm not interested. I'm done.

You are engaging in violent behavior and lying to yourself about it and calling it activism. Well I am no longer going to participate. You can lie to yourself all you want, but you are a bad person and I don't forgive you, and you can do that alone.

You are acting from a mob mentality and a mob cannot be reasoned with. You are drunk on your tiny bit of power and social capital, and years down the line you'll lie to yourself and pretend that you cared about us.

You didn't. And deep down you know it, too.

Instead of arguing with people who refuse to see facts or reason and put our experiences up for debate, I am going to work on compiling a resource for people who want to actually learn.

Everyone else can fuck off.

#fuck around on this post and find out

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sauronpasta · 5 months ago

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Rings of Power Sauron/Galadriel Fic Rec Post of Fics that are Exactly my Taste: Part 1/? Canon Compliant/Divergent One-Shots

Since I have torn through too many Rings of Power fics to count since the season 2 finale, I thought it was time to compile the best of them into some lists and send it out into the universe. I think I'm the last person on earth who doesn't know how to make fancy photo edits, but I am over-caffeinated and sleep deprived and will provide semi-detailed reviews for each fic to make up for my post being plain and simple. So don't scroll by! All of these fics deserve to be read and re-read, and please leave these great writers comments if you do partake! Also, if you know of these authors having tumblr handles, please let me know so that I can tag them!

ouroboros by Amuria, 17k, E: Post-S2 Finale Time Loop Fic. Galadriel keeps ending up on the raft with Halbrand and tries to change what happened. The best part of this fic, other than the gorgeous prose, is that it takes a well-loved fanfic trope, the time loop, and really ups the stakes with relentless pacing. It's not just a different versions of the raft scene, but short loops, long loops, loops where she tries to kill Sauron, and loops where they find that they are good partners. It's disorienting in a good way, because you are along for the ride with Galadriel.

salt by thefudge, 2.5k, E: HIGHLY recommend, one of my favorite pieces of fan fiction ever. One word to describe this fic: trippy. It takes place on the raft, after the storm and before Halbrand and Galadriel are rescued by Elendil. Galadriel falls deeper and deeper into various deceptions of Sauron, leading her into an un-reality where time is meaningless. The very definition of Sauron playing with his food. Artsy porn at its finest, mind the tags on this one, but definitely give it a read if it's up your alley.

Dragged by the Crown by fawningbruises, 12k, E: This is more of a Sauron character study, with a bit of Morgoth/Sauron and Sauron/Galadriel. So many great descriptions of first age Silmarillion stories and locations from Sauron's POV. If you enjoy Sauron being slightly snarky and an often exhausted evil bureaucrat, this is the fic for you.

Half Life by audreystark, 7k, E: Porn with Plot at its finest. Galadriel is making trouble for Sauron while he travels around Harad distributing the nine rings. I like that this fic explores the particular Halbrand/Galadriel dynamic, but post-season 2 rather than backtracking to season 1. I also like that Halbrand is hot as hell and Galadriel fights him tooth and nail the entire time, but still wants him. Just a great quick read.

The Waiting Game by ninathena (@athenasnina), 2.5k, G: I love a touch of sadness and tragedy with my Sauron/Galadriel stories, and this little fic explores the potential for a moment that I think about a lot. Would Galadriel feel it when Sauron is finally defeated in the third age? More importantly, would they be able to see each other one last time? The biggest tragedy with them is that no matter what, they are still bonded. I won't give anything more away here, go read! You will feel things.

I will make a separate list for multi-chapter fics and AUs. Happy reading!

#rings of power fanfiction #saurondriel #haladriel #saurondriel fanfic #haladriel fanfic #fic rec #completed one shots only

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somebodys-nightmare · 11 months ago

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Those Chosen by the Planet: Are Cloud & Tifa Soulmates?

We know from the OG/Compilation that Cloud & Tifa share a deep emotional and spiritual bond. But after Rebirth, I am curious about the true nature of their connection and how soul-bound they really are - and why.

In order to organize this efficiently, I’ve broken this down into parts to best explain both background information as well as specific events that have led me to my conclusions/thoughts. The outline is as follows:

Part 1: The Lifestream (Background)

Part 2: What’s Happening with Cloud?

Part 3: The Lifestream Scene (Chapter 9)

Part 4: The Reunion Flower & Tifa’s Trial

Part 5: The Ending

Part 6: The Lifestream Scene (OG/Part 3)

Part 7: Those Chosen by The Planet: Soul-bound

Let's get started!

Part 1: The Lifestream (Background)

To set the context, I want to first explain my thoughts on the nature of the Lifestream, which is the primary worldbuilding and lore context of FFVII and in particular, how it is being explored in the FF7R trilogy.

In the FFVII Rebirth Ultimania, scenario writer Mr. Nojima shares that he studied Buddhism’s Yogacara & Jung’s theory of the ‘collective unconscious’. He states these concepts inform the “worldview” of the story and give hints about the mysteries and the ending of the trilogy.

I believe that he is referring specifically to the multiple “worlds” that we see in FF7R, which in turn are manifestations of the Lifestream. Let’s break these down first. I will try to explain these concepts as succinctly and relevantly to FFVII as possible.

Yogacara is a school of Buddhist philosophy that states our experiences of the world are shaped entirely by our mind. What we perceive as the external world is really a projection of our consciousness. Thus, everything we experience is a result of mental activities & states.

There are 8 levels of ‘consciousness’ in the Yogacara philosophy:

1-5: The 5 Senses Consciousness: Sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch. These are the things we “experience” in reality through our body’s physical perceptions.

6: The Mind Consciousness: The mental process that integrates and interprets the above sensory information. This is how our mind translates the Sense consciousness of what we see, hear, feel, etc.

7: The Self Consciousness: The aspect of consciousness that involves the sense of self and ego. This is the level of consciousness that revolves around our identity and how it relates to everything else.

8: The Storehouse Consciousness: The deepest level of consciousness that stores all past experiences and ‘karmic seeds’, influencing current and future experiences. These also shape and store an individual's hopes and dreams.

I believe that the Yogacara philosophy forms the lore’s basis of the ‘individual’ consciousness of a person, or their soul, as it relates to the Lifestream. Every human being has their own individual “Lifestream” which becomes a part of the “collective” Lifestream at death.

In this process, a person’s consciousness diffuses into the collective consciousness of the Lifestream. Considering what is happening to Cloud in the game, it is important to understand how the Yogacara and its levels of consciousness influence this lore.

Additionally, it's important to understand that both Sephiroth & Aerith are able to maintain their individual consciousness & not “diffuse” into the Lifestream. This is why after death they are still both ‘whole’ & able to traverse the Lifestream “worlds”.

Which brings me to…

The Collective Unconscious: In psychology, Jung’s collective unconscious describes the part of the unconscious mind that contains shared memories and archetypes common to all humanity.

These universal symbols & experiences influence our thoughts, feelings, & behaviors, connecting us to the broader human experience. It explains why people from different cultures or time periods can share myths, symbols, & themes in their stories and dreams.

I believe these both set basis for the “collective consciousness” of the Lifestream & its relation to the indivdual, which contains the essence of the planet & the memories, emotions, & knowledge of all who lived on it. In Rebirth, we see two representations of the Lifestream:

1. The Physical Lifestream: below ground, represented by ethereal green liquid, energy wisps, and rocky landscapes of the planet’s core. This is where Tifa falls in Gongaga, where the WEAPONs & Whispers are fighting, and where Sephiroth’s true form is.

It is also where Tifa sees fixed memories represented by holographs. This also seems to be the form of Lifestream reality in which the OG Lifestream scene takes place, again seen by the physical structures and the manner in which Cloud and Tifa fell into it in Mideel.

I believe the manifestations of individual consciousness/soul, or an individual’s lifestream, are seen here. Note that there is a physical battle between “the planet & its enemies” seen here and that Sephiroth is seen fighting perhaps more strenuously & aggressively than anywhere else, where we typically do not see his true form.

2. The Metaphysical Lifestream: This seems to be the “plane” of existence that manifests in infinite branches & paths, represented by rainbow imagery we see throughout the game & manifests the “worlds” present in 'Zack’s Story', each marked by a different breed of Stamp.

I believe that this is the manifestation of the “collective” Lifestream, thus containing memories, emotions, knowledge, AND hopes and dreams of the collective spirits within it.

This is where Zack’s realities manifest, representing, it seems, unfulfilled desires or unfinished business, creating a purgatory of sorts or a confluence of memories and emotions. Sephiroth and Aerith seem to have great power in and over these manifestations in different ways, which I believe is also a source of the conflict involving Zack (a separate conversation).

Now that we understand how the Lifestream seems to be functioning, this brings me to…

Part 2: What’s happening with Cloud?

Cloud’s true self/spirit/psyche is currently shattered within the collective unconscious of the metaphysical Lifestream. This is the definition of mako-poisoning, especially in a severe case like Cloud’s.

We see this explained with Jessie’s dad, as well as with Cloud in Mideel in the OG. When a person comes into prolonged contact with mako, they are at risk for information overload from the knowledge of the collective of the Lifestream.

This can cause a person to lose their sense of self, similar to how a person’s consciousness/soul diffuses into the Lifestream upon death. In the case of a living person who cannot withstand the mako poisoning, however, they become “trapped” or “shattered” in the Lifestream.

At this stage, Cloud is still functioning because his contact with Tifa allows him to “wake up” & build a persona, aided by the Jenova cells reading her memories, by his own desires & delusions of grandeur, and his memories of Zack’s experience.

However, we see his true, broken consciousness throughout the collective unconscious of the metaphysical Lifestream (Zack’s side story).

Tifa’s role, as we know, is to help Cloud restore his sense of self after further mako poisoning following the events of the Northern Crater when his false persona is broken and he falls into the Lifestream.

Which brings me to…

Part 3: The Lifestream Scene (Chapter 9)

There’s a lot to say about Chapter 9 and Gongaga, but Tifa falling into the Lifestream is arguably the most important scene in the game as far as foreshadowing for the final installment of the trilogy.

This scene’s purpose is to solidify Tifa’s heroine role for the third game and to prepare her for the task she will undertake, while giving basis for it - a basis that was famously unexplained in the OG but has now been fleshed out.

Tifa falls into the reactor’s mako pool & is carried directly into the physical Lifestream by the WEAPON in the earth’s core. Here, she sees her fixed memories, represented directly in the rocky terrain of the planet, & surrounded by energy wisps and liquid of the Lifestream.

While locations are fixed, images of memories are represented and play out with green holograms, and voices by green pulsing energy wisps. She also sees the white Whispers of the planet & the black Whispers of Sephiroth/Jenova fighting, & Sephiroth’s corruption of the Lifestream via Jenova, aka “Black” or “Negative” Lifestream, represented by purple energy.

Note that Sephiroth, in his true form, physically attacks Tifa & the WEAPON carrying her here.

I can’t say for sure, but while these are definitely Tifa’s memories, they also seem to be Cloud’s. Before Tifa falls into the Lifestream, Cloud becomes vulnerable to Sephiroth’s mental attack because of the effects of the mako fumes in the reactor. This leads me to believe there is an opening for Cloud’s consciousness in the Lifestream to be connected to Tifa's, and that the Planet took the opportunity of Tifa being pushed into the mako (by Cloud) to connect them.

The memories Tifa sees are her own but are also Cloud’s, and given the context of Gongaga but also Cloud’s identity crisis and the entire internal conflict, this is significant and what we must focus on.

The perspectives of the memories are more Cloud-centric - in 2 out of 3 the camera is behind Cloud (bridge and Tifa’s house) and in the third, the memory focuses on what Tifa is saying to Cloud (water tower).

We also have to consider Tifa’s lack of awareness of events and her memory loss during these memories. The Planet seems to be showing her these scenes from Cloud’s perspective to inform and prepare her prior to her duty in disc 2/part 3.

There are also untouched memory locations you can spot in the scene: the gates of Nibelheim, Stargazer Heights, and Seventh Heaven. The Nibelheim gates we know are important for Cloud’s identity from the OG Lifestream scene.

Stargazer Heights is where Cloud tells Tifa he remembers the promise (curiously, that memory is placed close to the water tower memory.)

And while Cloud and Tifa have obviously a lot of interactions in Seventh Heaven, I think the critical moments are actually those seen in Ever Crisis after Tifa finds Cloud at the train station, as those memories directly influence Cloud’s identity.

The “planet and its enemies” - The WEAPONs, Whispers, and Sephiroth and Jenova - are physically fighting over these memories. Sephiroth tries to kill Tifa here. We see the purple corruption of Lifestream Black occurring in this scene.

We see Tifa on the brink of death and seeing Cloud’s spirit being led away from her and her voice silenced from him by Sephiroth.

It seems to me that following this event, Cloud and Tifa’s consciousness’ are already linked. Tifa also has been given preemptive strength and knowledge to save Cloud when the time comes in part three.

Which brings me to…

Part 4: The Reunion Flower

The Reunion Lily appears on the mailbox of Tifa’s house twice: In Cloud’s flawed flashback of the Nibelheim Incident in Kalm, and during Tifa’s Trial in the Temple of the Ancients.

It does not appear at her house during the fixed memory in the Chapter 9 Lifestream scene. I think this is because the flower wasn’t actually there, but is rather a “totem” or marker of Cloud’s psyche.

Cloud knows from events in Remake what the flower symbolizes. In his flashback, he falsely remembers that he and Tifa reunited with him being a SOLDIER, though we know this isn’t true because he hid himself from her.

The flower reappears during Tifa’s Trial in the ToTA. Her trial takes place during the promise scene & the Nibelheim Incident, the same period as Cloud’s flashback, and when she was hoping to reunite with him - but thinks that she did not (because Cloud hid himself).

In the OG, the appearance of young Cloud is representative of the Real Cloud and his psyche. My belief is that his appearance here is another indication that after Tifa falls into the Lifestream, Cloud and Tifa are mentally and spiritually connected.

Next...

Part 5: The Ending

While the ending may be confusing, several replays make it clear to me that Aerith is dead & that once again, the metaphysical Lifestream (indicated by rainbows) is in play in what we see.

Cloud, who is shattered in the collective unconscious of the metaphysical Lifestream, can see what is “manifested” in these worlds. Similarly, these worlds are influenced not only by memories, and knowledge, but by hopes, dreams, and desires.

Without going off on another tangent, I think Cloud is seeing the manifestation of his desire to save Aerith’s life in the metaphysical Lifestream & that she is temporarily aiding him in this delusion (remember, Aerith can maintain her sense of self within the LS after death).

After the murder, Barret & Tifa run up & we are given BOTH of their perspectives of this death scene. Barret very clearly only sees the real-world scene - Aerith dead, bleeding, etc.

However, when we get Tifa’s perspective, she sees glimpses of what Cloud sees - including his mental static - with interspersed scenes of the real-world death and the rainbow Lifestream where Aerith is not dead or bleeding but is "saved”.

Tifa is quite confused & horrified but seems to accept the actual scene - her death. She is not deluded or blocking things out, she knows what is real.

It’s confusing but it is purposefully clear to me that Tifa is seeing, or can see, what Cloud sees. It is not revealed how much Tifa knows is Cloud’s delusion but it is clear that she is deeply affected, not only by the murder of her friend but by something else.

And Tifa remains disturbingly distraught for the rest of the game. In fact, when she calls Aerith’s name in this scene it’s her last line in the game - she does not speak again. Once again, this is a clue to me that Cloud & Tifa are soul-bonded bc of the chapter 9 events.

In the ending CGI, Cloud tells the group not to look up. Barret does and says he doesn’t see anything. Tifa looks up but doesn’t comment, instead continues to look distressed. Does she also see the rift that Cloud sees? Her behavior is the most jarring of the entire party.

In the penultimate cinematics, we see the WEAPONS circling Tifa & Cloud’s memories again, trying to protect them from “the planet’s enemies”. We can see Tifa’s house, the bridge, and the gates of Nibelheim under them.

These sequences are plot arrows for what we should expect to see in Part 3. It should be lost on no one that the planet is actively fighting to protect Cloud & Tifa’s precious memories, especially after personally guiding Tifa through them.

Which brings me to...

Part 6: The Lifestream Scene (OG/Part 3)

All of the above has led me to conclude that Cloud & Tifa are now spiritually or “soul-bound” in some way, explicitly for the preparation of the Lifestream Scene of Part 3.

Tifa’s role is to help Cloud “restore his sense of self” by entering his individual Lifestream and navigating their fixed memories and the truth about his identity in the physical Lifestream, which occurs when they fall in Mideel.

Rebirth has not only prepared Tifa for this role, but has given us the navigation, insight, and background lore for how it will occur and what the experience might actually entail. This may include elements of both the physical and Metaphysical Lifestream mentioned above.

It has set the stage for an in-depth expansion of the original scene that does not solely focus on what happened when rebuilding Cloud’s psyche, but the why behind his choices and decisions that let them to this moment.

These scenes have also demonstrated why Cloud’s consciousness - his individual Lifestream consciousness that contains his “self-consciousness” and “storehouse consciousness”- is and will remain closed off to anyone other than Tifa.

This is where Cloud’s true desires are concealed and must be revealed to Tifa in the Lifestream scene to facilitate his restoration and their reunion and reconciliation.

Which brings me to…

Part 7: Those Chosen by The Planet- Soulmates?

Why is all of this happening? Cloud is the boy who is destined to save the planet, and Tifa is destined to save him. If the planet has memories of the future as well as the past, then it knows this.

Just like the planet knows that it needs the last Cetra in the Lifestream to help save it, it also knows that it needs Cloud to defeat Sephiroth. And I think the planet has known this for a long time.

Is it far-fetched to wonder if the planet is somewhat responsible for the genesis of Cloud and Tifa’s bond? That, in keeping with the theme of fate, it has influenced the circumstances that have both brought them together and pulled them apart throughout the Compilation?

Is it possible that the planet kept baby Cloud and Tifa alive during the bridge incident? Now, with the context of the Remake Trilogy, I don’t see how two small children survived that fall.

Are Cloud and Tifa chosen by the Planet?

Are they soul mates?

Maybe we’ll find out.

Thanks for reading!

#ffvii #cloti #cloud strife #tifa lockhart #final fantasy vii #ffviir #ffvii remake #ffvii rebirth #theories #ffvii theory #lifestream

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rowayneau · 5 months ago

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Hazbin Hotel x Twisted Wonderland -Ramshackle Hotel Dorm (Part 1)

--The Ramshackle Dorm is now called the Ramshackle Hotel. Which it’s somewhat accurate for both buildings as both are in reality, really old buildings that are falling apart

--The Ramshackle Hotel is the tallest dorm in the campus now

--The Hazbin keeps the secret that they are demons from Hell. Don’t want to freak the kids out about the demon and afterlife.

--Yuu is the unofficial gofer for the hotel and is responsible for Grim so that he doesn’t burn the building down

--Yuu gets bossed around at the Hotel until Charlie puts a stop to it. They still get bossed around from time to time

--Grim usually hangs out with Keekee, Fat Nuggets, Razzle and Dazzle when Yuu is busy

--The pet gang has their own MagiCam page with tons of followers. Cater is one of them

--Charlie usually holds her redemption class and activities with the hotel staff and guests after school

--Yuu and Grim are dragged along for the classes. They aren’t happy about it, it’s just more school….with morals

--Ace and Deuce come over so often that they have their own room, should they want to spend the night there.

--They are also forced to participate Charlie’s class and activities

--You can imagine how these classes went with the boys, especially with Ace and Grim

--Ace, Deuce, Yuu and Grim will be later become known as The Idiots

--Charlie makes sure The Idiots finish their homework and her class before letting them off to do what they want. Since she is part of the school staff, she is informed how much there is homework for that day.

--When Riddle finds out what is happening at the Ramshackle Hotel, he makes sure that Ace and Deuce attend all of Charlie’s classes and to bring their homework along. This is a very good chance to discipline the two troublemakers.

--Charlie being Yuu's caretaker is usually the one being contacted when Yuu is in or causes trouble. But since The Idiots are joined to the hip, whenever something happens it’s always all of the at the same time

--Charlie is now the secondary contact for Ace and Deuce when Riddle and Trey are unavailable.

--There was once instance where Alastor tried to weasel a deal out from The Idiots

--Luckily, he is stopped in time and Charlie actually use her authority the Princess, to order Alastor to not make a deal with anyone else in this world

--Due to his deal with that person, Alastor has to no choice but to compile to Charlie’s order

--Ace and Deuce now know the Hazbin are demons. (Thanks a lot Alastor..)

--This has Charlie teaching The Idiots about contracts, deals and loopholes. She really pound into the idea of reading the whole contract and it’s fine print and thinking thoroughly before making a deal

--She teaches them to look out for shady deals and fancy lettering that might hide a loophole.

--Husk even chimes in and gives a run down what to look out for. He doesn’t want these kids to end up in a situation like him. Angel also add in his two cents about contracts and shady deals

--With so many people really going into the subject and adding in their opinion into this, The Idiots now actually have a solid idea on what to do with deals and contracts now.

--And how to avoid an obvious trap when presented with one…. *cough**cough* (This action will change the course of a certain incident happening in the future)

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georgewashingtonsnudes · 2 months ago

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~ Tainted Love ~ Dio Brando ~ PT. II ~

Pt 1 - Pt 2 - Pt 3 (I may post the full version on AO3, but we’ll see)

a/n: Thank you to everyone who showed support on PT. 1, hopefully pt 2 is received well, still finishing part 3. I chose a different version of the same song bc I think the Marilyn version fucks. I’m thinking of compiling all three parts and posting on AO3, so lmk if you’d be interested in that. Again, I’m still new to this so don’t hesitate to tell me what I’m doing wrong, Anyways— enjoy this super drawn out bullshit, you vampire sluts.

Likes, comments, shares, and reblogs are welcome and much appreciated. Please let me know how I can improve from here. <3

DO NOT COPY MY WORK ANYWHERE

WC: 3,777

Summary: DIO saves reader from captivity and is now training them to use their Stand to endure torture/pain; but such a power can have many creative applications. They’re rewarded in the end for being a fast learner.

(If you care to read into the specs of the intended stand or you want a quick reference for better understanding while reading it’s at the very end of each part. If not…sorry? Idk dude.)

CW: 18+ NSFW warning minors/ageless accounts DNI, p0rn w a plot, sort of a song fic, GN reader/Gender not specified (they/them/their pronouns used), (AFAB sorta? Just to cover my bases), reader is a stand user, inappropriate use of stands, prior to stardust crusaders, lots of positions, begging, degrading (more so tough love), praise, sub reader/dom DIO, hair pulling, lots of teasing, edging?, no direct smut in pts. 1/2 but very heavy nsfw (they hold hands), dry humping/grinding, mention of naked body (again body is GN), blood play [LOTS OF BLOOD], breath play?, choking, punishment, heavy biting, scratching, clothes ripping, pain/endurance play, maybe a little bit of Stockholm syndrome/yandre (idk if it qualifies but just to be safe), use of pet names (dear one, pet, my lord, master, lord god, maybe others), idk how to do tags lmk if I missed any ahhhhh.

Please don’t do these things in real life unless you are a consenting adult with another consenting adult. Please be wise and safe <3

Heart pounding erratically, they leaned further into his chest, his arms still holding them wantonly. Darkness bled into their vision, limbs alive in a blissful tingling, like stardust swirling just beneath their skin. Their consciousness a blur, seemingly floating above themself in a heavenly cloud of delight, bone-chilling fingertips seared against their burning skin—bringing them back to reality. His face began to traverse their bloodied bust, cleaning his mess with a hurried tongue as springs of carmine leaked like a Venetian fountain.

Exploring further, his hands danced across their exposed stomach in a deliberate, almost hypnotic way, leaving a trail of burgundy in their wake. The pigment, thick and foreboding, latched onto them like a second layer of skin, delicately shimmering under the candlelight. With a gentle, practiced hand, he glided his fingers across the hem of their ruined intimates, soaked with a deep layer of blood, priming for his next move.

Hands falling limply to their sides, DIO continued to enrapture their body, leaving no space—no air—between the two of them. Expecting rash defiance, thrashing, writhing, and agonized begging, he waits, golden eyes finding their heaving chest. Messily adorned with ruby, their listless body reclined like a forgotten dream, half-formed and drifting in that space between sleep and restlessness, the world around them gently flowing in the stillness of his embrace. As though DIO’s figure beneath them was a part of their very being, their body melted into his, languid and serene, filling his chest with pride.

“Tell me,” he whispered devilishly close to their ear, his dark voice breaking the heavy silence between them.

“Is it that you have a proclivity for masochism,” cold fingertips teasing at the latex strip, “or are you simply too naive to comprehend what a compromising position you’re in?” Dipping ever so slightly past the hem, he hooked the border of fabric around the tip of his finger. They remained silent, basking in his divinity.

Gently dragging a finger along their waistline, his knuckle pulled another line of vermeil along to mirror the band. “Any person with their sanity intact would tremble in fear in such a vulnerable state, testing death, but you...” casting his gaze along their body, like a hunter analyzing his prey, “You’re so pliant, so still, trying to remain silent,” his hand stopping adjacent to their navel, “you’re waiting for more—aren’t you?”

Bringing movement forth again, he pierces the surface of their flesh with a single nail, their eyes snapping open, meeting his own brilliant shade of amber. “What does that say about you?” Trailing the nail alongside a parallel gash, carving an equal line of much more permanence. But instead of a pained cry falling from their plump lips, a long moan was pulled from deep in their chest, wrenching their head forward with a gasp of relief. As if he had released an excruciating build up of pressure within them.

“What a curious thing—my dear one.” Retracting a finger immersed in a deep cherry, he returned it to sit at obeying lips, opening and closing gently around it.

“Listen now and closely,” pushing his index further against their tongue, “I will not allot for insolence, so if you believe in nothing, believe this: you will always be shown the consequences of crossing me.” Using the leverage of his hand in their mouth, he brought their head back against his substantial shoulder, his other hand still firmly in place on their neck.

“I wonder how long this game will last. How far can you be taken before you break?” Burning spread across their neck as the tips of his fingers moved along the ridges of their broken tissue. “Will you beg for my mercy, or will you try to defy me? Either way, my victory has been predetermined.”

Seemingly thinking aloud, his train of thought danced around the possibilities of how he could break through them, never alluding to his true vision. Drawing back his finger from their pouted lips, his thoughts spun, flitting through every possible scene in his mind, finding the right path.

“We both know you’re playing a game you’ll never win." As their doe-like look locked with his sharp gaze, his direction became clear to him; a plan had formed. “But by all means, go ahead. Persist in trying to impress me; it may just work if you can prove your devotion.”

A now clean hand traveled back down to the last of their clothing, gripping the cincture tightly at the hip. “But here is the truth your naivety has blinded you to—“ In one fluid movement, he shifted his hand forward to rip whatever remained to preserve their decency.

“Your resistance is futile.”

Completely exposed to him, they dropped their full weight into his arms, entirely submitting to his will. “Keep testing your limits; be my guest, but it is only a matter of time before you realize this game was never for you to win.” The ice-cold hand on their neck began to wistfully snake through their hair. “It was simply for me to play with you, my darling toy.” Their stomach fluttered at the notion as his fingers interlaced roughly with their tresses. “And what a quaint little doll you are.”

Feeling their soul nudging at their walls of security, they pushed back at the Stand that tried to bring itself forth. The floor beneath them began to quake, shaking both of their bodies tightly entangled with one another. Fighting every human instinct that would tell them to fight, to flee, to beg for their life, they submitted to whatever he could deal.

Pain. Ecstasy. Torture. Euphoria. Death. Heaven.

Willing their stand’s compliance, they tried to force their spirit behind lock and key. Instead, sending the vibration elsewhere.

“Your impotence is simply charming, admirable even—and that is precisely why I can’t wait to watch you crumble.”

Redirecting the feeling inwards, their body began to shiver from the inside out, muscles twitching uncontrollably. Auburn-flamed candles seemed to beam brighter than before. Smelling warm frankincense married with the coppery red that covered them both, their senses exploded. A pin drop could be heard, with the only accompanying sound being their ragged breathing, shuddering from the quake under their skin.

Diligent fingers danced across their scalp, leaving a numbing tingle in their trail. His free hand teased along their bare skin, fingertips exploring their exposed body, sending a shiver through their veins. Holding their neck as their shaking began to steady, DIO’s patience wore thin, punctuating his eagerness with a sharp nail into their collar and gripping their hair tightly. Overwhelmed, their cry shattered the air, unable to withstand the myriad of sensations running along their nerves.

Voice jagged, their wail softly melded into a moan as they leaned into the sensation, concentrating a resonance overload within their chest. The sensation was unlike any other; searing pain bled out to different reaches of their middle, consistent and never growing; it spread like a shiver rippling down their spine. An overwhelming elation washed over them as the pain dispersed, the shaking dissipating throughout their body in a soft tremor.

Their focus was broken by a melodic sound flowering in their ears, his placid laugh, insincere but gentle. Coveting the sound, they locked the echo within a chamber of their ears, repeating like a song as raw, searing pain bled down from their neck once again, their concentration altering. Arching his back, he relied on gravity to hold their bodies together as his hands fell from them. As if nailed to a cross, their limp arms spread across to each side of his chest; letting the force that held them have its way, they slid down his body.

In an unnoticeable movement, he slotted both hands in the crooks of their hips, legs wrapping securely around his hips, pressing them firmly to his lap as he moved their bodies forward. Face threatening to meet the unforgiving marble, a golden apparition cushioned their impact before swiftly disappearing as they reached the floor. A stillness washed over the room while he leaned back, assuming his former position.

Willing the world to wait, DIO’s eyes took their time devouring their nakedness, drinking in their motionless body. While one hand splayed itself across one side of their hip, the other, with deft fingers, charted a map of blood across their back.

“I can only imagine how frustrated you must be, dear one,” he said, time running short, his stationary hand clamping down on the pliant flesh. “You’re unable to see your abilities’ full potential.”

One.

Painting a rosy weave along the length of their back, his fingertips slowly began to dig deeper into their skin. Thin lines of blood brought forth from his touch threatened to fall, yet there was no gravity to pull them free. He only stopped when he reached the small of their back, placing his thumbs in the two picturesque dimples adorned there.

Two.

“I could help you—“ Abstaining from using his whole strength, his hand stilled, fingers curling possessively around their curves.

Three.

“But where would be the fun in that?” The hourglass his pawn—he played with them in the space between, pulling the strings of his delicate puppet.

Four.

Time resumed its agonizing crawl, prolonging their suffering and appeasing DIO’s self-indulgence as they choked back a cry. Their face twisted in anguish as scorching pain ran down their spine, DIO’s movements coming to a halt. His gaze couldn’t find a single place to stay, their breathless body becoming his own work of art, drawing the eye to each line on their back. How he wished to paint every inch of his perfect canvas.

Holding back their whines, trying to remain still, the pain throbbed and tingled throughout their back. Pins and needles adorned their aching muscles as they tried to regain their composure; in turn, Soft Cell released a harmonic blast from under them. The foundation of the room absorbed the collapse, sending a shockwave to shake the room beneath the two, face and hands pressed firmly against the trembling floor.

“Do not forget—“ his voice tranquil and tempered, “the longer it takes for you to compose yourself, the more difficult you will make this for the both of us.” Familiar words spoken with far more patience than he had ever exercised before.

“Understand this, dear one,” his nails harrowing their hips to punctuate the name, bringing a surprised yelp from them.

“I will not repeat myself again.”

Releasing them from his grasp, they croaked out a moan, hot breath fogging the glassy marble. Concentrating on the stark white floor, the rumbling from underneath began to diminish, seemingly retracting from the stone into their pounding skull. He remained still, nothing holding them together but shaking legs, threatening to release from around his trimmed waist. The absence of his hands crowded their mind with desire, desperation, and longing—their pain pushed behind a wall of want.

Yearning for the ice in his touch, they slid their hands away from the sides of their head and back to reach towards him. Fully absorbing all surrounding vibrations into their head, their traveling hands acted as a guide for the pulsating to disperse throughout the rest of their body. Radio static blurred itself down their spine, seeping into their arms, hips, and legs—unforgiving persistence matched with unrelenting lust, sustaining it within themself. As their hands were nearly even with their hips, their wrists were caught in his frigid grasp, breath hitching in their throat as he squeezed lightly.

“And precisely what were you planning to do just now?” Hardening his grip, he pulled them backwards, stretching the splitting skin on their back further in all different directions as he leaned to whisper closer to their ear.

“Ahhh, I see,” sighing playfully as if coming to a realization, “how gracious of you to help me use you better, dear one.” Chuckling lightly, he guided shaking hands to grip their ankles, pressing them as far against their rear as possible.

Their chest pressed harshly into the cruel floor, sensitive nipples hardening and bruising against cold tile. Muscles twitching uncontrollably, they squirmed pleasantly on his lap, making it all the harder for them to stop. As they tried to control themself, DIO could not pay their actions any mind, simply admiring his improved view between their legs. A sight for only his eyes, a tool reserved for his use alone, the filthy secret that hides their desire for him.

Frustration riddled their nerves as his hands left them again, pain returning to adorn each line he had laid across their back. Whining behind wired jaws, the even vibration they sustained began to fluctuate as their concentration fractured. Different volumes of resonance emanated through their muscles, dancing along their nerves, shockwaves pulsating inside of their bones. While certain parts of their body went completely numb, other areas were overcome with sensations of pain, sharp pins and needles, or tingling warmth under the skin that would make any man mad.

Refocusing their mind, the sensations in their body began to bubble up, threatening to explode. DIO studied each movement and sound as his hyperaware nerves followed every broken vibration, bringing an egregious heat forth when the reverberations met the space between his thighs. With a satisfied hum he allowed the throbbing to settle into his lap, where they connected, slowly moving towards his growing need.

They try again to gain control of their stand while DIO sits in a satisfied silence, ogling at the way they writhe against him. Instinctively, they pushed into his waist, using his body as an anchor to ground their power. With a malicious laugh, he begins to push them down further onto his lap, hands completely encasing each side of their rear, their most sensitive area brushing against him. Guiding their waist, the vibrations sputter and whirl in their stomach, flowing down to where their bodies joined.

DIO gripped them painfully hard, firmness pressed between their legs; only his tightening pants separated the two. Gravity reaches their heart as Soft Cell’s power vibrates sinfully between their laps, a rouge rushing towards their heated cheeks. Switching the searing pain to pleasurable tingles became second nature in nearly an instant, achieving the vampire's sinister goal.

Control.

“It seems you finally understand, dear one.” He continues to grind into their center unapologetically, not nearly enough to pleasure them fully, but enough to make them hold back ragged moans.

Their knuckles whitened as their grip on their legs began to weaken, along with their will to keep their touch from finding him. They needed to feel his skin, disgracefully painted in their blood, a crimson damask draped against that gelid alabaster. Daring to look behind them, they turned their head despite the floor, remaining silent as their eyes locked, pleading with his. Clicking his tongue, he moved to grab their wrists again, trembling from the strain.

“Shhh,” as if to calm a sniffling child, his thumbs began to move against their skin, a comforting but calculated gesture. “Haven’t you heard that patience is a virtue? And that the greatest rewards in life are granted to those who wait?”

Pleading eyes let up their struggle at his proverbial words, slightly glinting at his prospect of reward. Any gift from their Lord would be well received, but imagining what a hard-earned reward could entail gave them a renewed hold on their ankles. With a satisfied chuckle, he moved to release their bruising grip, exhausted arms and legs hitting the floor. Matching his eyes again, they were met with cold amusement as he pulled them flush against his lap, sending their arms forward to brace themself.

Completely still, fearing him to renege on his words, they pressed their hands uncomfortably into the marble. As they regained their breath, curious fingers continued their leisurely dance across their skin, eyes still locked. Every move subtly becoming deeper and more sensual, each of them curated with deft precision in order to elicit their reactions. Intimidating golden eyes pierced through them, both theirs and his closing as he leaned close.

“You are quite the enigma,” he sighed in their ear, his body only a breath away. “So defiant, yet so responsive, a rare union. Then again, you have proven to be quite rare yourself.”

Gentle, methodical caresses passed along their sides, down their body. The fire under their skin burned as his languid touches became torturously drawn out, making them squirm. “Quite rare. And quite obedient.”

He placed two fingers at the junction of their neck before drawing a soft, slow line down their spine, pain erupting along their muscles.

“You are a most intriguing specimen.” They could only contemplate the odd compliment for a moment before a swift hand brought their attention back to him.

A strong sting breaks out against their rear, settling for a second as he returns to sitting straight up, only for another hard swat to join in the same place. Composure slipping, they yelped slightly at the first and inhaled sharply at the second. As they fought against a choked gasp, his hand rubbed soothingly against the bruising pain, stopping splayed against the fatty flesh.

Unexpectedly, his thumb began to reach towards the valley between their legs, halting to pull the plump skin aside, exposing their entrance to him. So small compared to what he had to give; the thought of it slowly stretching around him, rousing his lips to curve into a smirk. Moving gently, his delicate touch deceivingly dragged all the way down to cover each side of their rear before steadily piercing the skin with his nails as he spread them apart to expose them again.

“I look forward to breaking you.” His dearest pet, so oblivious, yet so shamelessly submissive to every sinful possibility he could consider a reward.

DIO’s mind wandered wildly, his eyes following suit, once more admiring his masterpiece. And taking his time doing it. Short, harsh spanks met their rear every so often, keen chuckles from behind following soon after. If his fervid chortle hadn’t sent a chill down their spine, his cold hands gliding up to find their neck surely would have. Pulling them back towards him sent a harsh puff of air from their lungs, the rushed movement catching them by surprise. Their imbalance would’ve sent them toppling, were it not for his arm securing strongly around their waist, stabilizing them tightly to his chest.

Still on his knees, he turned his face into the crook of their neck, opposite his hand holding onto their throat firmly. The thought of snapping it quickly appeared in his mind as he watched their heated face flush red. Blood pumping a mile a minute, the smell filling him with want. It left as quickly as it had come, their pulse racing under his palm, drawing his attention to their shaking body. Their focus had broken, eyes falling downwards to where their arms hung and laps met.

“Focus.” He commanded, fingers standing against their neck as if to play a piano. “Now.”

The new position brought a closeness that they deeply craved from DIO, their imagination running wild, debauched daydreams thoroughly distracting them. It took longer than either of them would’ve liked to revert from their lapse in concentration, both growing more impatient by the minute. With every second they waited, DIO stabbed his nails further into their neck, searing pain filling them despite this offense being sparing by past comparison. Droplets of blood fell before his eyes, dripping with precision onto his waiting tongue, nearly curing his boredom. Lapping the rest up, he pulled their body against him even further, drinking of them passionately. The thought of crushing them flickered in his mind as their blood danced along his tastebuds.

He could end their life now. End his waiting. Finish his meal. But that’s making the outcome sound much easier than it would be in reality. He’d lose his dearest pawn.

Enshrouding their body in his arms, he released their neck, holding them so fiercely he feared he may envelop them within his skin. His touch, his voice, his smell, his temperature, his growing need parted from them only by ruined pants, the burning pain his nails sent running along their nerves—it was all so much. Attempts to steel themself against their vertigo only pulled them further into the dizzying vortex, sending them into a maelstrom of sensation. As the whirlpool of feeling threatened to consume them, their body made an instinctive switch.

Focus. Now. Focus on him. Only him. Only his touch. His voice. His smell. His aura. His divinity.

Locked in a chamber of sound, his echoed words turned into a sweet hum, soothing their nerves and sending a comforting shiver throughout their limbs. The pain was non-existent, all feeling concentrated on the heated throbbing from where they needed him most. His tongue licked a slow, cold strip against their wounded neck—icy-hot pain muddled into needle pricks of pleasure as the feeling sunk deep into their bones.

DIO moved his hands about them, lingering where blood seeped out, adoring his work. He worked his hand around to their chin, pulling it to face him as his other arm went to secure them firmly to his lap. Their eyes locked, a passionate, frenzied gaze exchanged between the two as DIO began to flagrantly grind himself into them. Awestruck by his sudden indulgence, they tried to suppress a breathless moan, to little success.

A devilish smirk decorated his ornate face; eyes never ceasing their lecherous study of his prey. “Tell me, dear one,” his tone a gentle whisper laced with dark promise, “do you wish for more? Or are you content to merely endure?”

Pulse racing, they begged their exterior to disguise the desperate instinct they had to scream out for him. To beg. Beg for every inch of him. But they knew they walked a fine line—any game of his was a dangerous one; rewards were only granted to those whom he deemed worthy. Not just anyone who would grovel at his feet. Regardless of restraint, the need for DIO’s intoxicating touch became compulsory.

A sorrowful whine nearly bled into the shaky breath they let out at their eyes meeting, voice hardly above a whisper. “More,” their tone dripping with desperation, but eyes filled with trepidation. “Please, my Lord.”

Gazing down, he noticed a fierce desire, hidden yet sparkling, deeply within their hesitant eyes. “I beg you more, my Lord God.” Raising their voice slightly at the last three words.

Oh, how three syllables can sway God so quickly.

DIO’s smile only deepened, a hint of mischievous fulfillment embellishing his face. “Very well,” he purred, voice collected and still. “But remember, this is a reward, not a surrender. You will earn every touch, every sensation, every rapture.”

“Do you understand, Pet?”

Thank you for reading this far, you dirty thing, you. Please like, share, and reblog <3

Specs Summary

(TLDR: anything important to the plot or for quick reference is highlighted in pink.)

Stand name: Soft Cell

Appearance:

A multicolored, unsettling humanoid figure with a metallic body featuring glowing cracks and circular ripple patterns. It has only a jagged glowing scar across its face and semi-liquid chains around its wrists and ankles that fade into a dark mist.

Stand Ability: "Pulse of Dissonance"

Soft Cell manipulates vibrations and frequencies, influencing physical and emotional states.

Primary Effects:

1. Emotional Manipulation:

Opponent: Uses low-frequency vibrations to alter emotions, turning happiness into mania, fear into panic, and anger into rage.

Self-inflicted: Can affect the users mental state by inducing euphoria, anxiety, or rage.

2. Physical Manipulation:

Opponent: Vibrates objects or opponents to cause structural damage or disorientation. (Ie. shattering materials or inducing vertigo)

Self-inflicted: Can cause internal shuddering, disorienting vertigo, or chronic pain by focusing vibrations on specific body parts.

3. Harmonic Collapse:

Opponent: Creates destructive resonance waves, damaging anything within a 5-meter radius of the Stand.

Self-inflicted: Can result in self-destructive resonance or explosive disruptions within the user's body.

4. Combat Applications:

- Ripple Propagation: Attacks enemies by sending vibrations through solid surfaces.

- Tuning Shift: Affects specific targets while avoiding allies/vulnerable areas.

- Chamber Lock: Traps targets in a feedback loop of sound or vibration, immobilizing them.

Self-inflicted application:

- Enhances speed and strength through vibrations but risks self-imprisonment or internal strain.

Pleasure Applications:

1. Amplified Euphoria: Intensifies pleasure during intimate moments.

2. Sensory Misdirection: Shifts sensations to different body parts, enhancing excitement.

3. Pain Channeling: Transforms pain into pleasure, adding thrill to experiences.

4. Harmonic Resonance: Builds waves of pleasure leading to intense climaxes.

5. Nerve Distortion: Alters perception of pleasure, creating unique sensory experiences.

6. Ripple Propagation: Channels pleasure through surfaces, enhancing intimacy.

7. Emotional Manipulation: Deepens emotional connection during romantic moments.

8. Self-Induced Vertigo: Adds excitement through mild disorientation.

9. Pain Suppression: Ensures enjoyment by suppressing discomfort.

10. Feedback Loop: Intensifies and prolongs sensations of pleasure.

Weaknesses:

Opponent: Less effective against chaotic opponents, reduced impact in open spaces, and strong-willed individuals can resist emotional effects.

Self-inflicted: Requires precise control to avoid self-harm, less effective in open areas, and emotional resistance demands mental discipline. User must use careful precision as to not hurt allies alongside enemies during combat operations.

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure and its characters belong to Hirohiko Araki, I do not claim to own this work.

#dio brando smut #dio brando #jojo's bizarre adventure smut #jojo no kimyou na bouken #jojo's bizarre adventure #jjba smut #stardust crusaders #dio x reader #jjba part 3 #jjba #smut #jjba x reader #jjba oc #jojo smut #jojos bizarre adventure #jojo x reader #phantom blood #Dio

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fumifooms · 1 year ago

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Thistle & Falin

Just my narrative of Thistle & Falin, collection of shippy thoughts and dynamic analysis. Creating some imagery and threads, etc. What if we both made devotion to our loved ones our purpose, what if we both hadn’t lived for ourselves in a long, long time. Who are we? Beyond who we love and our powers, what are we?

Background info: a short Falin analysis touching on Faligon and Thistle + an old thistlin post, compiling most of their moments. Here I delve into further thoughts but for base analysis of what they have in canon and in potential those are good starts. If you want I also have a full Falin analysis.

Disclaimer: Beyond the nebulous 1000 years I place Thistle as a young adult, and though I agree Falin mothers him to some degree I don’t think it’s unsimilar to the way that Marcille is a mom friend that sometimes mothers Falin and Izutsumi especially. Their relationship has layers like every other one in Dunmeshi, reducing it to being incestuously motherly or age discoursy to justify it being problematic is so funny to me, hello did you miss the mind control. Ah yes I love the 1090 yo with godlike powers being groomed by his chicken slave. You can have your own interpretation but canon is ambiguous enough, and dare I say intentionally ambiguous, that I have no qualms with not infantilizing Thistle, same with Yaad at the end of canon. I do ship Thistle and Falin, and although it’s in a nebulous qpr-or-other third secret thing situationship instead of conventionally romantic way, like, I puke on anything giving them a parental framing so don’t come shitting on my doorstep, kid-Thistle truthers be warned. Only nuance enjoyers allowed on this post. It’s valid if you’re uncomfortable with the ship!! Don’t make your issue others’ problem.

I thankfully finished my Falin analysis before posting this, but besides that I also have an analysis coming on the whole Thistle age thing which I think is interesting, beyond the well being poisoned there are things to explore there, idk in how long that’ll be done though. That’s all for plans that are relevant to this, now let’s get into it.

Part 1

So my favorite Falin things are Faligon + her sense of being like a pawn/misplaced, going on autopilot to follow the wishes of others, a feeling of identity being a burden and sort of fleeing from that, and her not really caring in the way/with the intensity that she’s "supposed" to (as per the points I go over in my Falin analysis). Meanwhile, Thistle has a lot of shit going on already but then there’s also how being a dungeon lord is highly wearing on his mind. As Faligon and as dungeon lord Thistle, the way they’re both so out of touch with reality in different ways holy shit?? They have power imbalance between them and it very much comes from mind control lol, but it’s also not something Thistle is fully aware of himself, because the powers are driving him unstable and he’s not even aware there’s someone in front of him really. He’s so out of it that he can’t even recognize that the dragon has been fused with a human and she’s so out of it we can’t even tell how conscious of her actions she is.

And then the interesting thing is that they’re kind of in it together… Mostly from Falin’s standpoint. We see that he does rely on the dragon increasingly so, hanging out with it, being saved by it and embraced by her etc. When he lets them both fall after breaking the web they were hanging from, he automatically, fully and wordlessly trusts her to catch him, instead of relying on magic or anything, and she does. Falin devotes herself to him but he’s devoted to The Cause which is just chasing ghosts at this point. But despite it all there’s a weird comfort here too… From the guy who in his last moment of lucidity reached out for someone, anyone’s hand, from the guy who hasn’t felt companionship in hundreds of years probably, hasn’t taken it slow and slept and eaten in who knows how long, from the girl who feels compelled to care after him like she’s always done with others… And the beast-ness allows her to have some freedom to figure herself out in a weird way, to simply enjoy being beside someone and doing anything her own whims tell her to.

It’s very destructive and weird and layered but like…. I can see the sliver where it works out. Where her kindness reaches him and he has a moment of lucidity where he sees her and it’s like, wait, who are you, you’re not the dragon?? Where finding someone else who feels just as messed up and devoted as them, like they’re just trudging along life like it’s a dream following their loved one, heals them a bit. Where caring for the other becomes a way to care for themselves too, a dark mirror of each other that shows you, oh, this is how bad it can get and I want to choose something else for myself actually. To grow to see the person standing in front of you, instead of only searching with your eyes in what way they’ll reflect on you. In helping each other, finding some companionship that’s weirdly vulnerable and self-healing. He gets her in touch with herself and her own needs again through the arc and conflict they have, and she gets him in touch with the world and his surroundings again. They have clashing ways to be selfless, very self-sacrificial from Falin meanwhike self-centered with Thistle (he ‘knows best’, ‘everything needs to be left to him’, etc etc, he needs the control, but he does it all for others, meanwhile Falin leaves that control to others and only grabs it for herself in exceptional cases like sacrificing herself to the dragon for Laios).

Like just let yourself be, damn!!! So then them being like, zombie mentally stunted babies kind of enhances that theme in a way too lol. The way they communicate together is very… Instinctive and basic, and I’d love to see how it could develop into a functional dynamic. They’re in ‘learning to be your own person’ kindergarten together to me. Thistle looking at her coloring wildly outside the lines and being like "you’re doing it wrong" and then you look at his and he colored everything a weird color. The precision is scary but then his crayon goes 1 mm out of the lines and he blows up into tears. Ok the metaphor has run its course

So yeah like the ship/brotp is very, them being isolated and against the world together and like… Slowly regaining their minds together. Getting their sense of identity grounded into them again. In my mind they have a 50k words adventure where they hang out and he slowly realizes there’s more to her than just dragon and she encourages him to dawdle around and eventually just play in water and shit and it’s like, starting to see life again beyond the laser focus you limited yourself to… And she’s allowed to just chill out and do whatever she wants besides the whole searching for Delgal thing. You can’t tie down a dragon! They are a duo they are an unit‼️ He’d have been fucked without her and at this point in time he sort of made her and he’s her world. Traumabonded kittens do not separate but it’s onesided in different ways haha. Honestly it’s sort of reflavored mickuro wait fuck…

If nothing else, they’re a very interesting dynamic to ponder. The depths of it all… I want to use them as a social experiment. I want them to stop to smell at the flowers and learn to work together… They’re master and servant they’re owner and pet they’re mothering and mothered (in a guardian hound way, in a mom friend way) they’re both incredibly (emotionally and physically) vulnerable in different ways…… Master and monster if you will. Mostly I see them as guardian & leader. Like I said I ship them but it’s not really romantic atp I think but it’s not quite qpr either it’s truly a weird secret third thing… What if we were sort of coworkers but also ?!!!>??????! You should hate me but you fiercely protect me I should appreciate you but I only see you as a tool WHAT IS GOING ONNN IN THERE

He wants to be protected even if he can’t really admit it. Here the catalyst was emotional distress moreso than physical threat. Notice how he lays there under her wing for a bit as he (refuses to) processes what Mithrun told him about Delgal dying and betraying him. She’s becoming his safety net, his comfort hound. Somehow, the both of them find they’re soothed in each other’s presence.

It kills me. Them being so toxic at the start of it, then somehow ambiguously just hinting towards how things could have went on to be better, could have been headed somewhere nice and healing and healthier, she dies and he dies everyone fucking dies and they forget each other and it ends there they never speak of each other again. Canon wanted me dead specifically. Like remember too that I was there when the last chapters where being released, my ass really was like "Oh I wonder how Falin will react seeing Thistle after being revived!" 🤡 But yess at least that means there’s a lot of Unsaid, a lot of space for speculation, and I want to see what could have been. I want to see it so so bad. It’s so interesting

Post-canon is also so interesting, where they’re sort of recovered but not fully not really, them actually getting to know each other… And she doesn’t remember him but he doesn’t remember her either, in a way they’ve never met even though they have, even though she was the first one on his side since so long, the first hint of companionship he’s had, companionship that he’s so unused to getting that he can’t even recognize it for what it is. He couldn’t even recognize a human standing in front of him!! He is so disconnected from others and the world!! He spoke to ghosts like they had no worries in the world and everyone was ok!! He’s out of touch, tone-deaf af!! Has always been tone-deaf!! Being tone-deaf when he was younger, a stick in the mud, caused him to be more isolated than he already was… Autism4autism, anyways—

It’s them not knowing why or how to express it but being drawn together, a bond forged together by the fire of circumstances and coincidences— or is it only that? No one can know for certain but there’s a grip they have on each other there somehow. Weird distant caring thing. I dont know who you are but I feel like I should know you

It’s like my headcanon that she doesn’t know why, but on her travels she feels something when she comes across wild thistle flowers… There are just faint remnants, whispers of feelings like ghosts.

They should be remnants in each other’s lives. A deja vu of a person in the way Falin hugs small dolls to her chest, or how Thistle reminisces of something when he sees bird feathers discarded on the ground. < This paragraph courtesy of @cabinette’s huge brain

He canonically writes poems btw… Poems would be such a good way for him to get in touch with himself again post-canon, find desires in again and get creative fulfillment. He should make poems about her. To explore and vent and express all the vague feelings and memories he has, both those of during canon and after canon. He doesn’t remember her but he remembers her, slivers of kind eyes and warm gentle hands and healing magic like a blanket…

Yaad, an unlicensed therapist but the best you're gonna get in fantasy land: Maybe you should try journaling.

And too the thing is their relationship with each other in a way is ONLY about themselves, even when Falin is being self-sacrifical it’s less about him and more about how she generally is, that sort of instinct to latch onto someone and just follow along with whatever they do and ask, meanwhile to Thistle she’s only ever been a factor in his plans. Idk idk them getting to that point where they see and know each other, stumbling into that through canon or actively working towards it post-canon, there’s weird beauty in that Like. Thistle cares about her because he’ll take anyone as long as they fit the job description well enough, he’s desperate to find Delgal and will grasp at straws to find him. In a similar way that he’ll reach for someone, anyone’s hand on the verge of death, she seeks to protect someone, anyone. That’s how she centers herself, makes someone her compass and her world. Falin wants to protect someone and Thistle would use anyone, pushed to the states they were in they would latch onto anyone for comfort (caring for him, grabbing Marcille’s hand).

Mirrors truly truly. And Thistle likes to shatter those, and silence anyone who tries to talk to him about reality, so then the option left is to be by him quietly and subtly gradually, gently (her specialty) nudge him in the right direction … Nooo but actually why did he shatter those mirrors. Very interesting to think about. Would seeing himself in others anger him?

I like to call him a ghost of who he was sometimes, a ghost of the past, he’s so haunted, and I think there’s fun imagery there too. The care she offers Thistle somewhat reminds me of the one she offers ghosts. I wonder if part of it is that she sees herself in ghosts, that she wants to offer them freedom and peace of mind she can’t get for herself.

And of course meanwhile on her end, the thistlin arc is also about growing self-respect. I don’t want to see Thistle as a lost cause in saying that her efforts are wasted on him, but being so permissive and invested in him is obviously not healthy for her. She needs to learn when to put her foot down

Oooh, just realized that choosing to eat in this scene was a big character moment all things considered. By eating she faltered in her task, stood up for herself and her needs, was selfish for once (/positive go get your damn food girl). She chose to eat. Anyways

I bet he’s the one who healed her wounds after the Shuro party fight. And on that note— it’s interesting he could change her form from Falin to Faligon without touching her isn’t it? Healing by everyone else like Marcille and Falin always required touch, physical contact between the healer and healee, which some like Chilchuck say is a negative, but… The dungeon lord not needing to touch to heal makes a nice metaphor for how isolating the powers are I think. Truly clinical instead of warm. Theme of community and freely offering affection in Dungeon Meshi etc etc. Like I said, Thistle is out of touch.

The way that he has the powers to change her form and heal and like soo much magic power but he can’t even realize when he’s hurting himself and she’s the one who has to heal him. He’s so fully devoted to the cause even when he acts selfishly that he neglects himself too, and she has to remind him to take care of himself, to eat, etc. That she feeds him. Eating is an act of love to yourself and to life. The berries, the curry, the soup that Thistle refuses to eat—

Do you see the vision. Do you see all the narrative relevance and themes and parallels of their dynamic. To chase ghosts, to cling onto them so they stay with you no matter how warped and ugly they get, and to soothe souls, purifying them and helping them depart for the afterlife… Both magic prodigies whose lives revolve around protecting and caring after their loved ones more than anything else. A family member who looks elsewhere while they are their whole world. They can flee their emotional issues together 🤝 Who are we? Beyond who we love and our power, what are we? I think about the way she cradled him in her arms just before they fell down into the dungeon all the time idk idk

^ End notes from the one fic I wrote about them so far: Slivers, on AO3. For a moment, they were both slivers of themselves, bound together.

Thistle feverishly holding onto ghosts of the past and his source of power, meanwhile Falin cradles the people she can protect in the now with the powers that reside in her… Him cradling his book, her cradling her master……… Parallels

Interlude

And yess it’s important to remember too, Thistle became a mage only after delgal asked… He had innate talent, but moreso than Falin it’s through studies that he learned to actually harness his magic etc. Idk I think it’s an interesting parallel that could have interesting stuff be done on it. People often characterize him as predominantly bratty but. He’s smart and composed he’s mainly smart and composed… He’s unstable and everything during canon was happening all at once with the winged lion being freed and Laios’ party and the canaries and agh </3 He can have a meltdown as a treat he’s smart and cool-headed if it wasn’t for the dungeon wearing on his mind ok… Obvi I love my chars with anger issues but saying he’s overly childish is having tunnel vision I think

Ok so the elephant in the room… First of all how present is Falin in Falugon exactly…… We have no clue. The end sequence does show her in purgatory with a dragon foot holding her down, which can easily be read as it suppressing her personality- with how it’s shown though it feels like she’d be fully suppressed by that? And we know that’s not the case, since not only does she recognize Laios and calls out to him, she hesitates to hurt Kuro because of the dog association, she’s excessively kind towards Thistle, the latter which her Adventurer’s Bible profile confirm to be "her kind nature remaining as the chimera". Maybe it’s a dream-like state? Maybe the dragon is the driving force with the instincts, and it’s only bits of Falin and her personality that show through? A state of mind very primal and not very think-y, even if Falin has enough brains to think of sharing the berries, gesturing and oh- of course, casting magic. No issues with controlling the human half of her body as well. To some degree, her and the dragon are working in tandem. My own preferred interpretation is the driven by instincts one, a state of mind like an actual dragon’s, which in my Falin analysis I delve into the significance of it for other parts of Dunmeshi too. So yeah, dreamlike mindless autopilot… I think exploring her pov as Faligon would go super hard. Aware of her surroundings but sort of disconnected with it, and disconnected from herself too, entirely living in the present… And like with her talking to Laios— the only time she speaks in her chimera form, a simple observation, "Laios, brother", sometimes her human thoughts peek through more sharply, short moments of lucidity… I think it’d be interesting to see an arc where as the chimera, she learns to share the "brainspace" more with the dragon.

It’s also unclear if Thistle had a say in how much of ‘Falin the human’ is in control? He very well might have suppressed her somehow when he changed her form to be more dragonlike. That might also be due to just getting back the dragon meat though— and the dragon meat itself might be why/how the brainspace is shared. There is a lot less of Falin’s body in the chimera than there is of the dragon, body mass wise. Dungeon Meshi is a lot about physicality so I wouldn’t be surprised with this reasoning. But there’s the whole mind control soul bond situation too…

The mind bond is another thing that’s left mostly to interpretation when it comes to the details. She feels compelled to listen to the dungeon lord’s orders as a monster created and owned by it, like the dragons Thistle summoned during the fight at his house, but again like we see with the dragons, if the monster has a "strong will" it can disobey to some level without being punished by the bind or anything. The eyes of the magician, the small wyverns, level-of-control wise can’t be accurate examples because they’re sort of like familiars, Thistle can see through their eyes in real time no matter where they are but it’s only this species as far as we know. So otherwise the mind bond is more subtle… There’s also the question of how much the control is shared between the dungeon lord and the demon, which again Thistle’s situation is exceptional because he managed to seal his demon in a book, presumably all the power goes through Thistle without the intermediate of the winged lion, though we do see he has some reach since he reaches Laios through his dreams. ANYWAYS all that to say. I do really ponder about how a dungeon lord's monsters get their orders, like... For the fight on the first floor, did Falin just feel Thistle's agony in her bones and came clawing and barging her way in desperately and angrily to protect him because of his distress, or did he more directly demand she come, consciously or not?! Idk, since Falin is actively protective of him unlike the dragons who reluctantly listen to him, her being very fast and intense about it doesn’t have to be forced… It’d be interesting if she can sense his feelings, wants or thoughts, bc I don’t think it’s as conscious as like, telepathically communicating "hey you, do this"…? Pondering, pondering. Mind bond <3 Soulbound <3

They’re both very trapped in the past… I wonder if as Faligon a lot of her mind goes back to memories of Laios and such, if she’s in a dreamlike state and not just sort of absent, where would her mind retreat... I don’t think so like I said I think she’s mostly driven by dragonlike mindlessness, but still… Thistle stuck in the search of Delgal, thinking back to everything they’ve shared and where it all went wrong obsessively, and Falin, sort of larping that she’s still beside Laios, not unlike how Thistle treats having the corpses of the royal family at his house like them being safe. Delusions. Idk I just want more character studies.

The metaphors in this truly… It’s not literal, like def not something that happens during canon at no point are they or could be ever atop a mountain of frames and paintings of the Golden Kingdom’s royal family and fine art lmaoo, so then like the meaning behind it all… She offers him reprieve, an outsider from all the Golden Kingdom expectations and drama, just someone warm to lean on, someone who’ll stay…….. I love Faligon pushing him to rest and nap so much. Man has first nap in a thousand years. Feather duvet like a nice warm pillow. The peace she offers him man……. Live in the present bbygirl Unfortunately it doesn't help. Look at them eyebags… Man needs to sleep!!

Part 2

^ This panels drives me crazy It’s the possessivity. It’s the "my". It’s the "stealing".

What if you have fear of abandonment and think you have to prove your worth for people to stay by your side. What if belonging to someone makes you feel like you belong and you feel loved and soothed by it lowkey, feel like it makes things easy. What if I was bought as a slave and servant but I was adopted into a pretty loving family. What if ownership is what love looks like to me. What if that’s why I have no problem rationalizing keeping people against their will in a glorified kingdom-prison, because that’s just what someone with the power who Knows Better does, and… Did he always call her his dragon hello? Feelings

He is not letting it go damn He hates when people mess with what's his. Or Delgal’s.

But imagine. The dragon is like, the last thing he has. The Golden Kingdom has moved on from him, everything is shit, but his dragon is the last thing he still has some realm of like. Ownership over. But that ownership is kinda just his sense of belonging. His role, his duty. So it’s like "Don’t steal the last thing I have" especially if post-canon… It’s thinking from his time as a jester bought into a loving family that ownership is natural in love and care. It’s thinking that’s the way you get to belong beside someone, beside earning that through achievements and being useful and capable. Everything is being stolen away from him. Control and things and people and even the importance he has to the Golden Kingdom as he becomes part of the background & past history and the kingdom switches into new hands aka Laios’…

My dragon, not the dragon. I do like to imagine especially after the berries he’s starting to feel differently about her. He keeps being like "you’re acting odd, dragon". His dragon is special. She’s not just another regular monster npc to easily replace, there’s human contact in there. His dragon just for him. <3

I do think Falin has some issues with like, asking to be with the people she loves, feeling safe in asking for that, that she’s worth that. She follows them and is quiet and just takes the crumbs of love that they offer, she doesn’t ask Marcille at the academy to spend lunches with her, doesn’t ask anything of her distant busy father and ill anxious mother… The person she did ask things of, Laios, who she always asked to go travel the world with him and whatnot, left her behind. Like how Delgal left Thistle. Theme of leaving </3 theme of family and abandonment issues </3 So she just follows and cares after them and makes herself useful and is grateful she gets to be beside them at all. So yeah what I’m saying is being owned/belonging to someone might feel yeah like, belonging. Being One Person's. He’s seen her at her worst and most bloody and raw, and still wants her? Very comforting And especially post-canon he doesn’t need her to be witty or useful or such, he just needs her love and that’s what she has lots to give.

Do you think Falin wants to be needed… Do you think she’s a little restless if she doesn’t feel like she is, like she thinks just like Laios people might leave you behind and you never see them again. It’s also because of what she said, that she put others before herself, that she just followed/imprinted on her parents/Laios/Marcille. She avoided conflict, she wanted to be liked and live in peace. The only times she was selfish, she hurt people (left school for Laios, sacrificed herself for them, teleported them out despite possibly hurting people on the surface), so she chooses to be selfless instead. "One of the most selfish things i've ever done was barely even for the sake of myself" - Falin and Toshiro both hah Falin is often told she doesn’t care the right way or not enough, you’re cutting classes Falin, I’m upset you left me and you don’t even seem to think it’s a big deal Falin, you shouldn’t have sacrificed yourself to save me (her not noticing her ostracization in her village wasn’t told to her but I’m including it also). And with Toshiro when considering her proposal, she was worried to accept because yeah it’s have been convenient but she wouldn’t be reciprocating his feelings in the way he wants and expected her to with what he asked of her… And she’s worried it wouldn’t be right… Bc she doesn’t care about the proposal on the same level he does….. I just think that’s neat I think that Falin caring both too little and too much, with laser focus on Laios & Marcille neglecting even herself, is a big part of her. She focuses on others and their emotional needs so so much always, babygirl be selfish for a while…

Thistle’s interaction with Laios is interesting too, especiaoly when Kaios heals him. How he looks at his shoulder, surprised and confused… Guy who's used to not having his personal needs met because he's so busy doing everything for the people he cares about receives care??? Woah that’s crazy Something something being so unused to human contact and affection that you don’t know how to process it and don’t recognize it when it happens/stares you right in the face. Thistle the Toudens are gonna make you open up ur heart to humans again on god…

What if… He doesn’t want to admit she’s not the dragon. If he admits it’s not the dragon that means giving up some control… This was not in his plan, he doesn’t know how well he can control a chimera rather than a dragon, it’s weakness it’s vulnerability it’s feeling like he’s losing his grip on everything again and thus losing his place and purpose. Hmm…

Finding yourself through someone else… Because defining yourself through others is what you’ve always done… Yeah. Yeah.

I do love it tying into Falin’s arc of finding herself. Like, she doesn’t remember her time as a chimera, she just remembers this guy she has conflicted but fond feelings of for some reason, so say if they travel post-canon, traveling with him would also be a way to figure out more how she’s feeling, and then there’s how when looking at him she gets the feeling that it’s been a long time he hasn’t lived for himself either… And like for him traveling is about seeing the world a bit too. Seeing it not as something to control or always dangerous but something to explore, and just enjoy the little things instead of worrying about the court. And just. Aghhhh. He hasn’t had someone on his side for centuries. Sighs. Of course Yaad also becomes that largely but traveling post-canon with Falin… Would love to see that in fancontent

Them growing to SEE each other, with the film in front of their eyes slowly fading away. Both of them coming out of it more genuine than they’d been even before meeting, before becoming warped, growing more comfortable in their skin and with the thought of connecting with others. It’s the mutual care <33 it’s having been on each other’s side at both your ugliest <3 Unconventional caring...

Toshiro saying "you can’t tie down a dragon" is always so good… Someone should so do stuff with that. "But you can tame it" / "I tried to once" / "but she chose to stay with me anyways"… Musical theme of How to Train your Dragon starts playing in the distance

When/after they get together, I feel like their relationship isn’t something they like to label… If anything it’s like. Partner. Or calling each other by name… Him calling her my dragon, except now it’s warm and personal would be so. Aughh <3 But then that just also makes the first time he calls her by name so huge.

Conclusion

They and their relationship is weird and unusual but that’s just how they are, and how they need to accept themselves (again: as they are) and roll with it! And make a place in the world for them anyways!

Magic forced them to be vulnerable in front of each other but it’s them who have to like… Be pushed out of their passivity and do something with that vulnerability.

BROTHERSSS THEY’RE BOTH ALL ABOUT BROTHERS. LEAVING. OUT OF TOUCH WITH REALITY. OUT OF TOUCH WITH THEMSELVES AND THEIR OWN IDENTITY. In a twisted way only the other would understand what it’s like.

Thistlin is so crazy, in humanizing you it humanizes me, in recognizing you for what you are I get more back in touch with the world again.

Flighted birds have hollow bones. With freedom there are risks and drawbacks. Thistle was Falin’s.

It’s not everyday you can have a ship where both characters are out of touch with reality and others and themselves and have this weird almost innate bond of her being compelled to protect him and care for him and him holding onto that unknowingly… Even if he didn’t need to, keeping her by himself and sitting on her while he plans and has a panic attack….. And also he owns her and robbed her of her freedom & body & full mind but she still wuvs him. Weird intimacy with the guy who horrifically changed you into something else, and yet is not even aware he has done it.

Falin loves nature and Thistle is named after a flower… Her post-canon coming across wild thistles and feeling a rush of fondness and she doesn’t know why… Thistles have thorns, but they taste sweet. Just gotta peel them off and enjoys the sweet taste of it once it’s open <3 Eat it like them honeysuckles

Slice of life 40k words thistlin sitcom I need you. Don’t make me write it myself. Sob

You are so so close sweetie…

wutiwant

I don't know what I want But I know it's not this These words don't mean nothing Once they left my lips More awake inside of my dreams Was that really you, next to me? Give me what I want, who am I supposed to please? Who am I supposed to please? Who am I? Who am I? I? Give me what I want Give me what I want

Some links, since the pair is small enough that finding stuff for them can be hard: Falin & Thistle search on pixiv Falin & Thistle search on danbooru Ao3: Thistle x Falin, Thistle & Falin Ship names: ファリシス / シスファリ. Thistlin

My own spotify playlists: Thistle & Falin, Thistle, Falin

source v

#Early thistle my beloved #Qpr or romo who knows Thistle has a job so he don’t really care about that rn #They’re only allowed to send each other mind waves and feed each other’s deep seated loneliness in ways neither can express #Like how do u even begin talking about these two damn. Sighhh. Looking wistfully out my window #Fumi rambles #Thistle #falin touden #thistlin #falisle #Maybe lol #thistle x falin #A buddy said they’re like ghibli romance and then my mind got consumed by a spirited away au for them #Sissel #Dunmeshi rarepairs #Analysis #Like I often say I love to explore a character through a relationship and for Thistle that’s Falin to me #The arc of it all… “are you even a dragon or what’ you’ve been acting strange since you changed forms” progress omg…. You are so close #Making castles out of the building blocks canon gave us #They’re both devoted body and soul to their brothers like augh. They both drive themselves into the ground for them #This is really just a collection of thoughts and i repeat myself a lil. The structure of this is so shite feel free to just skim or whateve #Their lives are centered around otherssss i can’t get over it #Psspspsps thistlin fans come you are sweet now my sweet child. If anyone wants 5.5k words of thistlin meta here u go #Happy 1 year in the dunmeshi fandom to me. Going back to my roots #Spoilers

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marwyn · 3 months ago

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Even in addition to her youthful appearance which belies “years beyond count,” Melisandre possesses many traits commonly seen in vampires (especially female ones), which is probably unsurprising given her interest in people’s blood. Just for fun I decided to compile some examples:

1. Red eyes

Even her eyes were red ... (ACOK prologue)

His red eyes again! (Bram Stoker, Dracula)

…red eyes, which to a lesser extent has become a standard (though by no means unanimous) aspect of the vampire’s appearance, especially in motion pictures. (J. Gordon Melton, The Vampire Book)

2. Copper/lustrous red hair

Her hair was not the orange or strawberry color of common red-haired men, but a deep burnished copper that shone in the light of the torches. (ACOK prologue)

…brushing and re-brushing her copious copper-coloured hair…. (Robert Louis Stevenson, “Olalla”)

…her wonderful red hair, hair such as one hardly ever sees outside of Italy—not the Celtic red—and it was so long that it reached to her feet, and it had an extraordinary gloss upon it so that it seemed almost to have individual life of its own. (Alice and Claude Askew, “Aylmer Vance and the Vampire”)

…her long hair, which shone red-gold in the dim light from above…. (Anne Crawford, “A Mystery of the Campagna”)

3. Supernatural and “terrible” beauty, sometimes accompanied by pallor, slenderness, grace, height and the impression of royalty despite the absence of a crown

…her skin was smooth and white, unblemished, pale as cream. Slender she was, graceful, taller than most knights, with full breasts and narrow waist and a heart-shaped face. Men’s eyes that once found her did not quickly look away, not even a maester’s eyes. Many called her beautiful. She was not beautiful. She was red, and terrible, and red. (ACOK prologue)

Lady Melisandre wore no crown, but every man there knew that she was Stannis Baratheon’s real queen, not the homely woman he had left to shiver at Eastwatch-by-the-Sea. (ADWD, Jon III)

Her figure was very slim and strong, and of a just proportion; red tresses lay like a crown over her brow; her eyes, of a very golden brown, held mine with a look; and her face, which was perfectly shaped, was yet marred by a cruel, sullen, and sensual expression….The first light of the morning shone full upon the portrait, and, as I lay awake, my eyes continued to dwell upon it with growing complacency; its beauty crept about my heart insidiously, silencing my scruples one after another….Day after day the double knowledge of her wickedness and of my weakness grew clearer.…it was often a glad thought to me that my enchantress was safe in the grave, her wand of beauty broken, her lips closed in silence, her philtre spilt. And yet I had a half-lingering terror that she might not be dead after all, but re-arisen in the body of some descendant. (“Olalla”)

Oh, how beautiful she was! The greatest painters, who followed ideal beauty into heaven itself, and thence brought back to earth the true portrait of the Madonna, never in their delineations even approached that wildly beautiful reality which I saw before me.…She was rather tall, with a form and bearing of a goddess. Her hair, of a soft blonde hue, was parted in the midst and flowed back over her temples in two rivers of rippling gold; she seemed a diademed queen….What eyes! With a single flash they could have decided a man’s destiny. They had a life, a limpidity, an ardour, a humid light which I have never seen in human eyes; they shot forth rays like arrows, which I could distinctly see enter my heart. I know not if the fire which illumined them came from heaven or from hell, but assuredly it came from one or the other. (Théophile Gautier, “La Morte Amoreuse,” trans. Lafcadio Hearn)

…a tall, supremely graceful woman with red-lighted black hair in a bun at her nape, a woman of impressive figure and assurance. (Manly Wade Wellman, “Chastel”)

She was above the middle height of women. I shall begin by describing her. She was slender, and wonderfully graceful. (Sheridan Le Fanu, Carmilla)

A violent shudder thrilled through him; before him lay a form of such beauty as is seldom seen upon earth. It seemed to him that never in a single face had so much intensity of expression and harmony of feature been united. Her brow, soft as snow and pure as silver, seemed to be thinking; the fine, regular eyebrows shadowed proudly the closed eyes, whose lashes gently rested on her cheeks, which seemed to glow with secret longing; her lips still appeared to smile. But at the same time he saw something in these features which appalled him; a terrible depression seized his heart, as when in the midst of dance and song someone begins to chant a dirge. He felt as though those ruby lips were coloured with his own heart’s blood…What terrible and extraordinary beauty! (Nikolai Gogol, “The Viy,” trans. Claud Field)

4. Deep and musical voice

…her deep voice flavored with the music of the Jade Sea. (ACOK prologue)

…the voice, though deeper than usual with women, was still both youthful and womanly. She spoke in a rich chord; golden contralto strains mingled with hoarseness.… (“Olalla”)

Her murmured words sounded like a lullaby in my ear…one clear voice, of a female’s, very deep…. (Carmilla)

5. Mastery over wolves

“He will not harm me. You call him Ghost, yes?” “Yes, but …” “Ghost.” Melisandre made the word a song. The direwolf padded toward her. Wary, he stalked about her in a circle, sniffing. When she held out her hand he smelled that too, then shoved his nose against her fingers. Jon let out a white breath. “He is not always so …” “… warm? Warmth calls to warmth, Jon Snow.” Her eyes were two red stars, shining in the dark. At her throat, her ruby gleamed, a third eye glowing brighter than the others. Jon had seen Ghost's eyes blazing red the same way, when they caught the light just right. “Ghost,” he called. “To me.” The direwolf looked at him as if he were a stranger. (ADWD, Jon VI)

…I came upon the Princess in the house where the Siberian wolves are kept. She had climbed inside the barrier and was stroking the animals through the bars of the cage. I was amazed to see the ferocious beasts behaving like huge dogs—groveling at her touch and licking her hands. “Be careful,” I exclaimed as I approached. “Surely it is hardly safe to tempt them with such dainty morsels.” “They will not hurt me,” she replied. “I am used to wolves and know when they are dangerous.” (Frederick Cowles, “Princess of Darkness”)

I heard his voice raised in a tone of imperious command, and looking towards the sound, saw him stand in the roadway. As he swept his long arms, as though brushing aside some impalpable obstacle, the wolves fell back and back further still. (Dracula)

If the party were astonished at his sudden appearance, they were still more so at what followed. As soon as the stranger appeared the wolves gave over their pursuit, tumbled over each other, and set up a fearful howl. The stranger now raised his hand, appeared to wave it, and the wild animals crawled back into the thickets like a pack of beaten hounds. (Anonymous, “The Mysterious Stranger”)

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