#Ranpo x gender neutral reader

[six-eyed-samurai]

SUMMARY: At this point it's practically confirmed Ranpo hates the new intern, seeing as he runs off at the very sight of them...so of course Dazai just had to pair them up for the next mission! A/N:This took forever and honestly I feel like it's rushed...oh well... WARNINGS: Maybe Dazai and suicide (?)

Edogawa Ranpo: the ADA’s finest investigator; solver of crimes galore; consumer of way too many candies that could be considered healthy.

Sure, he couldn’t navigate through a train station if his life depended on it and there really was no point in trying to convincing him to crack a case if he decided it was too boring and he had a really weird hyper fixation on needing to wear his glasses even though his eyesight was fine but hey, surely he could handle showing the new intern at the agency around, right?

“Ranpo-kun! This is our newest member. Atsushi-kun was supposed to show them around but Dazai called him away and Kenji and Naomi are on a mission, so it’s up to you to show them the ropes!” Yosano leaned down with a sigh, swiftly swiping away Ranpo’s bag of potato chips and finally gaining his attention from the sudoku puzzle.

“Hey! Give it back!” Ranpo crossed his arms and pouted childishly.

“I’ll be back in an hour or two, so try not to make to make them feel like an idiot, alright?” Yosano snapped her fingers, tutting, but handed back the bag of chips. Ranpo snatched it eagerly with an indignant scowl. Best to keep him happy lest he crush the new intern’s soul with his usual arrogant teasing if he didn’t like them.

“Fine, fine, I’m the world’s greatest detective! I’m sure I can show them the ropes best!” If Ranpo were a bird he’d puff up his chest. Yosano rolled her eyes and moved aside to reveal the intern previously hiding behind her.

“Treat them nice, Ranpo, or you’ll be my next experiment!” With that she waved goodbye to Ranpo and smiled sadistically, pinching their cheek on their way out. “Don’t worry, he’s not all that bad.”

They stepped forward, a nervous yet cheerful grin bright enough to turn the sunlight seeping through the blinds into shadows. “Hi! So you’re the world’s greatest detective who can show me the ropes best?”

Ranpo gently set away his bag of chips, gaze never once wavering from theirs although his eyes were slowly widening. They waited, smile turning awkward as the rehearsed usual introductions of names and “I’m really glad to be working here, what should I start with?” in their heads began to spiral into “shit, I must have something on my face” and intense panic.

And the world’s greatest detective ran away.

***

”Yosano-sensei, I found Ranpo-san!”

“GOOD, BECAUSE I’M GOING TO CHOP OFF ALL HIS LIMBS AND HAVE THEM FOR LUNCH WASHED DOWN WITH WINE; DON’T LET HIM GO, ATSUSHI-KUN!!!”

“What - Yosano-san, it’s fine! It’s not that big of a deal!”

“Don’t worry, dear, he’ll be fine.”

“…I hope…Ranpo-san sure is in for it for leaving them to figure everything out themselves…”

***

“Dazai, stop slacking off. Ranpo won’t take this case so the President needs you on it,” Kunikida snapped, pushing up his glasses and throwing the stack of reports at the lounging suicidal detective. “There is no one else to take it, as much as it pains me to ask you.”

Dazai continued to sing aloud off-tune, rolling over on his side. “Go ask Atsushi-kun, I just finished a case not too long ago!”

“That case was a week ago!” Kunikida bellowed, then took a deep breath and straightened his tie. “The kid is too new. We need someone experienced to take the newbie out on the field.”

“Huh?” Dazai opened his eyes with a sly grin. “The newbie’s coming along? Ah…”

“Yes, and thank god for that. I wouldn’t trust you to handle this case on your own.”

“Kunikida-san! Are you really doubting my skills in negotiation?!”

“You are far too childish to be trusted with anything,” Kunikida grumbled. “And you would take any chance to provoke the Port Mafia. But with nobody else free it all falls to you, at least until Ranpo wakes up from whatever depression he’s wallowing in lately.”

“What depression? His refusal to speak to the newbie at all? His rejections to all cases the newbie is on? His inability to do anything else but sit on his chair and eat sweets?” Dazai’s eyes glinted as he feigned drama. “My, my, Kunikida, you really don’t know human emotions.”

“YOU BANDAGE SQUANDERING FOOL-” Kunikida exploded another pen, eyes twitching and positively vibrating from fury.

“Oh well, only someone as perceptive and expert as me would’ve noticed it anyway!” Dazai cackled, causing Kunikida to suddenly cool down due to surprise and confusion. “Forget it…but if I can convince Ranpo to take this case, will you left me off it? There’s a new suicide method I just read about and I was sooo looking forward to try it.”

“If you even can.”

“Trust me, Kunikida-san, I absolutely will! Now, where’s that newbie?”

Kunikida frowned, bewildered as Dazai leapt off the couch and pranced off to go perform whatever devilry he had cooking up his sleeves. Well, he thought grudgingly, if Dazai can rouse whatever funk Ranpo had been in since last week, he might not be completely useless. He glanced behind him, eyebrows knitting together, wondering whatever crap Dazai was boasting about to the newbie.

Better not be a request for double suicide.

***

“Hey, Dazai-san! Are you looking for a file or something? I’ve been sorting through these shelves all week that I’m pretty sure I could find anything you name, heh.”

“While that sounds absolutely delightful, I’m actually here about our case!”

“That? Right! I’m pretty nervous about it, so I’m sorry in advance if I mess anything up!”

“Oh, you shouldn’t be sorry to me~ You and Ranpo are going together~”

“Eh, what? I thought he refused the case?”

“Not if you ask!”

***

Dazai had almost immediately abandoned them both at their destination, quick enough to be suspicious. Very suspicious.

They scuffed at the ground with their shoe, awkwardly sticking their hands into their pockets. This section of Yokohama comprised of mostly warehouses of boxes and objects long forgotten and half-finished roads, dark and dingy with no sign of life anywhere save the occasional cry of the crow. Very Port Mafia like.

Checking their watch, they wondered when the supposed informant, the key to the latest smuggling affair, would be showing up. They were a little early, but it was fast approaching the meeting time and if there was anyone around they must be invisible.

Wait, invisible?

“So, uh, Ranpo-san, didn’t Kunikida say the informant had an invisibility ability?” They pulled out the file, flipping through the pages and began reading out. “Kosuke Kindaichi, captain of the ship that was suspected to be carrying the Port Mafia’s latest illegal cargo. Ability, the Inugami Curse, which allows the user to be invisible in light but not in dark areas - well, that explains why he chose to show up at this time of the afternoon. He’s agreed to give us information on their next smuggling if we help protect - Ranpo-san, are you even listening?”

Ranpo abruptly turned away, intensifying the loudness of his chewing. Those chips must really be spicy for his face to turn so red like that.

“Okay, never mind, you probably know all this already,” they said sheepishly, embarrassed at his lack of response. This was who he’d been treating them the whole time they’d been here…they really must have done something to piss him off. “Um, anyways, how do we know if he’s here?”

“Mmmph.” Ranpo cleared his throat and wiped his mouth, glancing back as if to reply. His expression twitched and he quickly turned away again.

“Okay, you don’t have to talk to me,” they sighed. “We’ll just get this over with. I’ll go look over there, you can take here.” With that they began to walk off.

“Wai-wait!” Ranpo? Speaking to them? The surprise of it all was what made them spin around, really. He inhaled sharply and pulled out his glasses, slipping them onto his face. “He’s there. Beside the green container to the left.”

“Woah, Ranpo-san, you’re right.” They beamed at him excitedly, running off. “You’re really observant! How’d you even see him?”

“I didn’t. Just because he’s invisible though doesn’t mean his shadow isn’t.”

“Genius! Come on, let’s go meet this informant!”

“…I suppose I am?”

From in front of the monitor Dazai was sprawled in front of, his jaw fell open and he adjusted the quality of the sounds being transmitted from the secret bug he had dropped into their pocket during the train. He had suspected something was going on and had taken the opportunity to prove it, even through unscrupulous means.

What a good idea: because when has Ranpo ever sounded unsure about receiving praise?!

***

“Kunikida-a-a! Come listen to this!”

“No.”

“Tanizaki, get over here!”

“Sorry, Dazai, Naomi’s calling me!”

“Is no one interested in what’s going on between Ranpo and the newbie? Once again I am alone in my perceptive endeavors - Yosano-sensei, over here!”

“What is it this time, Dazai?! Ow, hey, don’t slam your headphones on my head like that!”

“Ouch, you didn’t have to hit me so hard! Just listen!”

***

Ranpo was about to explode and it wasn’t going to be from sugar rush like Yosano had always said.

No, it was going to be from simply being near them.

They’d never stood so close to him before and it was making him terribly nervous - no, his palms were just sweaty from the summer heat. Same thing for his red ears. He was also digging his nails so hard into his coat because he was…well, something. Definitely not because he was so infatuated with them that it was taking every ounce of self control to not shout it to them and the world and the Port Mafia member waiting for them over there.

He had gotten his wish after all, wanting to show them just how amazingly smart and observant he was, but Ranpo never got a chance to before. Which, he admitted to himself, was mostly due to his complete inability to even exchange more than a few words with them without having to run away or freeze embarrassingly. Now he could show off to them why he was the world’s best detective without having to say much or mess up!

It wasn’t too much to ask that cocoons too would hatch in their stomach and have those pesky butterflies energetically flutter around, right? It was only fair, after all, they made him feel that way all the time!

Ranpo hunched his shoulders. Yeah, probably too much to hope for. They hadn’t said much to him at all when Dazai had dumped them here, and when the other ADA member had been there they had spoken so much, so happily with him! Of course Ranpo delighted in learning a little more about them and they looked so cute with that bright smile that came with talking about their hobbies and friends, but did it really only have to happen with Dazai?

…considering his behavior to them in the past it was a small wonder, honestly. And the odds of them reciprocating after just one display of impressive detective work were really low.

Okay, okay! He’d just have to work harder to impress them!

What had Dazai said about wooing ladies again? For once that suicidal idiot had actually proven himself useful with his blabber. Be her knight in shining armour. Yeah, that’s right.

“I - I -”

“Hmm?” Their head tilted towards him and he nearly died. “You were saying something, Ranpo-san?”

“I’ll go first! Then if anything happens you can watch my back - we don’t know if this is really genuine or a trap,” Ranpo announced with a sudden burst of confidence and a self-satisfied smile. Well, he had done it! Well done him!

“That’s a good idea! I won’t let anyone hurt you, that’s for sure,” they laughed.

Even Kindaichi quirked an eyebrow at Ranpo’s pink face.

***

“You promise you won’t arrest my crew? None of them know what’s actually going on, that Port Mafia man only entrusted me. I don’t want them getting into trouble because of my stupidity in signing the deal, even though I didn’t know it at that time.”

“I’m sure that can be arranged as long as you cooperate. However we were told that you had information on what the Port Mafia are smuggling, so I don’t understand why you specifically asked for a detective to solve a case…?”

“They’re connected! I’m sure of it. You see, the last shipment was of weapons. Guns and the like -”

“You’re lying. All of this is a hoax to get our attention. You’re a captain like I’m a Port Mafia member! We have to get out of here.”

“I don’t think so.”

***

Ranpo watched helplessly as they pounded and kicked at the door of the dingy, dark container uselessly. Stupid, he cursed himself. If he hadn’t been so distracted he would’ve smelled a rat long ago, not when they were both caught off guard and defenseless, especially not when they were going to wind up in trouble too.

But what could he do? Ranpo had never wished to be someone else before, but maybe if he were Kunikida he’d figure out a way to disarm that hat-wearing ginger Port Mafia member and his gun. Hell, even Atsushi could’ve kicked it out of his hand with tiger jutsu or something.

He sighed. There would be time to sulk later - now he had to get them out.

Nakahara had triumphantly revealed that the Port Mafia would be holding the both of them hostage in return for the ADA turning a blind eye to their smuggling affairs. The “detective” Kindaichi had requested for could’ve been any ADA member, but based off Nakahara’s complaints he had been hoping to kidnap Dazai.

Alright, they’d just have to be gone before the both of them returned.

He approached the doors and motioned for them to step aside (of course now of all times he’d lose the ability to speak to them, dammit; at least it was too dim for them to see his scarlet face at how close he come to brushing against their hand). Ranpo bent down and examined the slit between the container doors.

“How’d you know it was a trap, by the way?”

They’d need something thin enough to slip into the hole and yet strong enough to push up the bar outside like a lever. He glanced around the container, determinedly not looking at them.

“Ranpo-san?”

Just get them out, just get them out, he chanted to himself. Pretending he didn’t hear the hurt in their voice he went on constructing possible plans for an escape. Once they escaped he’d gain their admiration for his ingenuity for sure!

“…um, okay, this is really quiet…and awkward…I’m sorry if I’ve done something to offend you but I really need to know. Every time I come close to you you run away, you won’t look at me; actually I doubt you’ve ever even said more than fifty words to me the entire time. I feel like you hate me or something. Have I done anything wrong? Or am I not smart enough to be talking to you?”

What? No, no, no, that wasn’t how it was at all!

“You could never do anything wrong! The only thing wrong is that I can’t look at you for more than ten seconds without turning into a tomato because you’re too pretty and I really want to listen to you talk but I can’t because I can’t concentrate and there’s no way I can tell you this-”

Ranpo slapped a hand over his mouth, flustered by his sudden blurt. He really was such a lovesick schoolboy, huh? He even had the cheesy accidental confession going for him.

“Well…I wasn’t expecting - why are you hiding your face?”

Two hands suddenly lifted his own away from his face and Ranpo found himself staring into their surprised but pleased grin, a little confused but relieved.

“I’m happy to know you didn’t hate me all this time and that you think I’m pretty.” Their lips twitched.

He sprang on that like an overeager puppy. “Can we get married and have about ten thousand kids and will you bake for me every day like those cookies you made the other day and I promise I’ll take on all the cases so we’ve got money and I can buy you whatever you want-”

“Woah, woah, slow down there, Ranpo-san.” Mortified, Ranpo’s face burned as they doubled over in awkward laughter. “Maybe a dessert date after we get out of here, yeah?”

“Sure! I already figured out a way!”

This was his territory now - he could finally show off. He pointed at the slit between the doors and explained his thinking. Thankfully the container was littered with bits of metal and junk, abandoned construction tools and similar items. It wouldn’t be hard to find something that could help them, right?

Usually Ranpo was the one who ate up praised but he’d be the first to admit he did go a little overboard with his compliments when all they did was find the somewhat perfect tool to use in order to break themselves out. With a little maneuvering they managed to push half the thick rusted stick under the bar and the both of them began to struggle to push the bar up.

“Hey, Ranpo-san.” He looked up, breathless from the exertion but brightening at the sound of his name flowing from their mouth. “You never did answer my question though. How’d you figure out it was a trap?”

“There were the initials “S.Y.” embroidered on that handkerchief he took out to wipe his forehead with. If his name was Kosuke Kindaichi, it should’ve been “K.K.”. Coincidentally the Port Mafia had recently gotten a new recruit who had made it to the news not too long ago: Seishi Yokomizo, who was the appointed leader of their smuggling ring.”

“You figured everything out just from a handkerchief?” They stopped their work to stare at him in disbelief and - aha! - admiration. “I never would’ve noticed something like that; no wonder you’re the world’s greatest detective, huh?”

“I think the bar is moving,” Ranpo said as casually as he could in a feeble attempt to change the subject. They chuckled but began to heave harder.

“One, two, three!”

The doors flew open with a bang and revealed a stunned Yosano wielding her giant knife and Dazai dragging an unconscious Yokomizo by his feet.

“How did you get here?” The words slipped out simultaneously from theirs and Ranpo’s mouth.

“Dazai here -” Yosano smacked the man in question with the flat of her blade, displeased “-stuck a bug onto one of you to eavesdrop for gods only know why, but it turned out to be a good idea seeing as this was all a sneaky trap. Then again the two of you have already broken out. I’m off to find Nakahara; he ruined my new shoes.”

“That’s Chuuya for you,” Dazia hummed, throwing aside Yokomizo’s feet to lean exaggeratedly too close to them both. “Well? Any tea to spill?”

They snort and shake their head. “I love Yosano-sensei, but she’s very scary sometimes.”

“She’s scariest when you go shopping with her.”

“Or drunk. Drunk Yosano-sensei is quite a bloodthirsty person.”

“Hah-”

“You said we could go on a date once we broke out,” Ranpo interrupted abruptly, then sheepishly turned away. He hadn’t imagined that, had he?

“Eh?” Their eyes widened, then crinkled up into a smile. “Of course! I know a place.”

“WAIT, I MISSED OUT ON THE CONFESSION?!” Dazai screeched.

***

“To think I was the one who set them up and go through all that effort with the bug and end up missing the best part! Argh!”

“I’m just happy Ranpo is happy now - pining Ranpo was quite the drag. You, on the other hand…”

“Yosanooooo, can you feel bad for me for even a moment?!”

[flxwxr-bxy]

Hii hru?? If I may, can I request chuuya and ranpo having a crush then confessing Hcs? GN!reader too :>

Feel free to decline ^^ and have a great day :D

— BLUE SALVIA ☆

☾ Hi! Ty so much for your request and support I really appreciate it☆

☆ Genre: Fluff

☾ Character: Chuuya x Gn! Reader / Ranpo x Gn! Reader

☆ Warning: None!

☾ I am not a native English speaker, so I apologize if you find any spelling mistakes.☆

— Chuuya ☆

The kind of guy who asks for permission to court you.

It didn't take him long to realize his feelings for you, after all he doesn't spend much time with many people, so when he realized that he felt more at ease when he was with you and that he didn't have the need to go home if he was in the same room with you, it was a matter of time before he realized his crush

At first, he didn't know exactly what to do, but after figuring out that he couldn't keep it to himself, he decided that asking you for a date was definitely the best option.

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't nervous that you'd reject him, but it wasn't as if keeping his feelings to himself was any better, so he confidently walked up to you and looking deep into your eyes asked you out on a date.

Relieved the moment you accepted his offer, he made sure to make his feelings quite clear with actions and gifts, gifting you items you mentioned you liked and inviting you frequently to dinners.

This would continue for some time until he was certainly sure that your feelings for each other were the same, he confessed quite casually in one of your late night conversations and without helping himself he gave you a soft smile when his confession was accepted.

“I'm sure by now you should have realized my feelings for you, although I'm not going to lie and say I'm not scared about it, and what it might imply for our future, I can't pretend they don't exist either, so with that in mind what do you say, would you go out with me?”

— Ranpo ☆

Completely oblivious to his feelings

when I say it would take ranpo a long time to realize his crush, I mean it, he wouldn't question his feelings for you much because he also enjoys spending time with the other members of Ada, but what he couldn't realize was the way he treated you slightly differently than everyone else

inviting you to his research without realizing that he liked to brag about his ability and your praise, sometimes giving you some of his candy if you were feeling bad or just hungry and feeling a rather new sense of affection whenever you were around, or shared some of your food with him

he only started to question it if someone else mentioned these things to him, it wasn't until Poe mentioned how relaxed he looked every time you were around that he finally truly questioned whether he was in love

after coming to the conclusion that yes, he was in love with you, he decided that the best option (even if he already deduced it) was to see if you felt the same way, after all his ability was never wrong, was it? Yeah, that didn't make him any less anxious

You were quite surprised by his sudden confession, but you couldn't say you weren't relieved that he felt the same, so the two decided to go on a date the next day and parted ways.

Ranpo relieved that he wasn't the only one in love, decided to show you his feelings in the best way he could think of, actions

trying to spend more time with you in what he hoped was a not-so-obvious action, or if you let him hug you from time to time, even sleeping on your shoulder on the days he really didn't have much to do. At some point, even Ada's members wondered if you were already dating and just didn't mention it, hoping everyone would assume.

Even if he wasn't oblivious to your feelings for him now, it didn't make him any less anxious the moment he asked you out, what if you decided you didn't want him anymore? How could he face you after you turned him down? So on one of your dates he decided to ease his heart and talk about how he really felt, and with one of the happiest smiles you've ever seen him have, you accepted his confession.

“Hey, I know this is pretty sudden, but I can't keep it to myself any longer, I'm in love with you, and I'd love to go out with you, that's if you accept my feelings. How about it? It's not such a bad idea, right?”.

☾ Author's note: Blue salvia is a flower that means "thinking of you" . Pls reblog and follow if you want, I hope you have a lovely day or night. :) ☆

All works belong to @ flxwxr-bxy don't copy, translate or repost in other sites without my permission. Thanks ♡

[harmeu]

Falling Tears

(BSD MEN REACT TO THEIR SPOUSE CRYING)

(GN!Reader)

Dazai Osamu:

We all know Dazai is one to shrug off people's problems as if it were a measly little thing that was nothing to fuss over. The casual “You’ll be fine~!” But we all also know that Dazai cares for you. He loves you. If you were to sob in front of him it’d send him into an overdrive of broken worry.

You were tired. Sick and tired. It felt as if everyone was shrugging you off of your problems and you ran to the agency bathroom because your throat closed up and felt water appearing in your eyes. 

THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.

You knew those footsteps. It was your boyfriend. Dazai. You immediately began trying to wipe the tears, imagining that if Dazai were to see he’d try to stifle his laughter because of all those times he waved off your problems and vents. Sadly the tears couldn’t stop and now you were a flushed mess looking down to avoid his gaze. It was piercing.

“Darling what's this? Why’re you trying to hide your pretty face from meee~?” He cooed tilting your head up, having a playful smile but it broke as he noticed your tears. 

“Oh..what happened.?” 

“No one listens or takes me seriously. Not even you! I’m tired. Go away.” You try to shrug him off but he grasps your hands pulling you onto his chest.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He frowned, his face softening. “I’m the asshole for ignoring. I should've known.” Worry was evident on his handsome face and you flushed at his words. You really needed to hear that. As Dazai apologized he peppered your face with kisses.

“Next time slap me if I brush off your problems. I might like it if you slap me though.” He winked which you scoffed at, holding back a chuckle.

Chuuya Nakahara:

Chuuya, despite being someone who definitely needs anger management classes will get immensely suspicious if you were to get the tiniest bit of a frown on your face. “Are you alright?” He’d constantly ask and once you break down his heart shatters.

You collapsed onto your bed spasming a bit from trying to hold back your tears. You knew you could tell Chuuya your love about your problems. Though there was a thing inside of you that said that he would be forcing himself to comfort you so you kept your mouth shut silently sobbing into a pillow curled up.

You flinched as the door knob cranked open revealing your boyfriend with wide eyes as he saw you so disheveled.

“What's wrong doll?” He murmured going to you and sitting beside you on the bed taking his gloved fingers to stroke your back delicately.

“I-I’m sorry I don’t wanna bother.” You mumble back looking back down at the pillow you sobbed into.

“Tell me who did it.” Chuuyas glare becomes more pronounced as seconds pass and you almost chuckle at his overprotectiveness.

“I’m just tired.” You say averting your gaze.

“I can be your stress relief.” He stared and flushed at his own words, scowling. “Not like that! Like..my arms are free for you.”

You laughed and dug yourself deep into his chest nuzzling as Chuuya put his chin on your head, kissing it gently.

Ranpo Edogawa:

This piece of shit of an egotistical man will KNOW your sad but won’t do anything about it. He’ll brush it off like Dazai in a more childish way. “I have better things to do!” He’d say casually sucking on his lollipop. But those once closed eyes would widen at the sight of your tears coming on display.

Everything and everyone was so mean. Why can’t they just understand you're tired?! You’ve tried. So. Many. Times. To talk to your boyfriend about your problems but he’d change the topic with what he was busy with.

Thinking no one was here you buried yourself into your desk of the agency, silent tears slipping out your eyes as you took a shaky breath, hands trembling beneath the desk. You sniffled but then heard a drop of some kind of food. Ice cream. Splat on the ground as you lift your head to see your boyfriend staring at you wide eyed, his glasses barely holding on.

“What?” You say annoyed wiping your tears so you don’t embarrass yourself further.

“You're crying.” He said as if it weren't the most obvious thing in the world.

“No shit.” You rubbed your eyes frantically realizing the tears wouldn’t stop which turned into a sniffle fest and you averted your body from him in a fluster.

Footsteps came closer and you felt arms wrap around your waist from behind and a face nuzzle into your neck.

“Did I do it.?” Ranpo mumbled a childish tone evident in his voice.

“Your part of it.” You said between tears and then your boyfriend kissed the back of your neck sending shivers down you. You try to glare but he uses the puppy dog look to manipulate you. Damn it.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled averting his gaze.

You didn’t fully accept his apology but you did accept the kisses he kept giving you during this encounter making you flush.

(FIRST POST IN LIKE MONTHSOMG anyway)

[rashoumon-homo]

BSD Men - Would they be good at giving head?

BSD x Gender Neutral Reader, NSFW

Includes: Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo, Chuuya, Sigma, Nikolai, Atsushi, Fyodor, and Akutagawa

Author’s Note: Just a quick lil headcanons post to fill the void of content while I work on Bottom Dazai Week! A little low-effort compared to what I usually post, hope that’s alright :)

NSFW CONTENT AHEAD - READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

(Ranked roughly from best to worst)

Dazai

Holy FUCK bro, YES.

He’s good at it and he knows it

He moans into it like he’s the one getting off

He’ll have you coming on his tongue in less than 2 minutes

And he swallows too- gladly! He insists you taste amazing

Knows his anatomy too - all the spots to lick and suck to get your toes curling

Kunikida

Way more skilled than expected

This man literally sat down and studied before even his first attempt

Knows your anatomy better than a doctor atp

You had to remind him to relax at first because even though he was doing everything right, he was as mechanical as a robot

As he got more comfortable with it, you both had more fun

Prefers other types of sex but will gladly give you head if you ask

Ranpo

Absolutely - if he feels like it

You know how he is, picky with taste and texture of things he puts in his mouth and whatnot

But if he’s into it, he’s hella skilled

Definitely won’t swallow, but he’ll give you head for longggg periods of time, making you cum over and over

He’s just having fun with the tactile experience and with seeing you come undone under his touch. Boosts his ego a little lol

Chuuya

Oh yeah for sure

He gives head to tease though, not to get you to finish

Always looking up at you from under his lashes because he knows it gets you flustered

For some reason gives better head when he’s drunk

But he usually stops before you can cum because for him, oral is ideally just foreplay

Points docked for that :(

Sigma

Yes and no

He’s more inexperienced, so the first few times are a little clumsy

But he’s determined to learn how to please you

With practice and guidance from you, he’ll come to be really good at it! You just have to get through the awkward phase first

Nikolai

Duh

Y’all already know he’s a freak

He’s got plenty of skill and enthusiasm but he gets bored quickly

If it’s taking too long to get you to cum, he will flat out give up

He’s always coming up with new ways to do it as well (don’t ask what that means) so hopefully you’re willing to put up with his weird-ass, occasionally morally concerning ideas

Atsushi

Not perfect initially but eager to learn

Inexperienced and over enthusiastic (too much teeth 😬)

Wants so badly to please you

Probably needs some guidance at first

Fyodor

Good luck convincing him…

He sees giving head as a sign of submission so he’ll likely flat out refuse for a very very long time

If you can sway him, he’s about average in skill

Not much experience, since he hates doing it, but he picks up the skill quickly

Surprisingly gentle and cautious with his mouth (whether for your sake or his is unclear)

Do not cum in his mouth. He will pointedly spit it out because he’s grossed out and will likely sulk about it after

Akutagawa

This guy does not enjoy giving head and it shows

He’ll do it on rare occasions but his discomfort is palpable and kind of makes it not fun

If you finish in his mouth, he’s spitting that shit out. No offense to you personally, he just finds the idea of swallowing gross in general

Stick to other types of sex I beg of you

Tag List: @suru1990 @little-miss-chaoss

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[juniperstale]

i blinked, and suddenly i had a valentine — dazai, chuuya, ranpo

⋆ in which you get a valentine from someone else [ . . . gn!reader, sfw, lowercase intended, profanity, fluff, lowkey crack i think . . . ]

DAZAI cannot allow this. he is immediately pouty when he sees the flowers on your desk as the two of you walk into the office together. he concocts a plan silently, maybe he'll go through all the security footage and leave the son of a bitch a series of threatening messages till they quit or maybe he'll interrogate everyone throughout the day or maybe he'll- you're reading the message on the flowers. dazai panics, hurriedly moving to be back by your side again. what if you fall for them and leave him? his nerves settle when he notices you throw them out with an eye roll before turning to him.

"finish your work fast today, i made us reservations at your favorite restaurant, okay?" oh, looks like you're the one down bad for him. so he has nothing to worry about, after all.

CHUUYA makes a competition of it. this suitor thinks they can out love him? now that's called being delusional. they sent you a flower? expect a bouquet of your favorite flowers coming in the next 30 minutes. chocolates? chuuya already brought out all of your favorites, its literally out of stock everywhere. they brought you a card? chuuya will handwrite you a 100 page letter explaining how you're the best thing to happen to him. and if the suitors dares to ask you out in person? their world will be turned upside down. literally. chuuya will turn them upside down. its what they deserve, after all.

at the end of the day though, he is still human (? idk i haven't read stormbringer) and though he denies it, he does need a bit of comfort after fighting for you all day. it is you though. he will always fight for you.

RANPO doesn't mind. i mean, he's going to be the one eating the chocolates in the end so does it really matter? it does. it matters the minute you get bored of working and decide to read the letter the bozo left with the chocolates. he watches as a small smile creeps up onto your face and you let out a silent laugh. oh no, its time to put his detective skills to good use. within a few minutes he finds the scoundrel who sent you that letter based off the handwriting and... well he doesn't really have a plan after that so he tell the guy off and returns to your side.

he comes home a little later that night, with flowers and chocolates that he would also end up eating. but you don't mind. your just happy he's with you.

05.05.24. "a valentine fic in may?? what kind of brownie did u eat juni??" chuuyas was low key inspired by that one barbie life in the dreamhouse episode where ken and ryan are fighting to give her better valentines day presents. im so sleepy i'll check my grammar tmrw, gnight!

[with-my-calamitous-love]

YOU’RE IN THE KITCHEN HUMMING

osamu dazai x reader

you show dazai the beauty in domestic life

inspired by sweet nothing

when dazai pictured his future, he pictured it short.

a mastermind of people, he knew that that the universe would eventually catch up to him. to his crimes, his wrongdoings, and all of his faults. truth be told, he pictured himself in some sort of prison, bleeding out on a stake of revenge, or simply just gone. he never exactly rejected death in the first place. he accepted it with open arms.

so to think he’d find himself, washing dishes from leftover marinated crab meat and glasses stained with sake while you do the laundry is more of a surprise than anything else. every now and then he looks over his shoulder, watching how you handle the delicate fabric of his brown vest with such care. you always use unscented soap. though you certainly have the money to buy lavender, or bergamot, the two of you enjoyed the simplicity of regular soap. because then, it has the scent of home.

but what exactly does home smell like? for so many years, he couldn’t answer that question. how do you match a scent to something that doesn’t exist? maybe he’d say it smelt like the port mafia hallways, or the smell of old bandages. maybe dazai felt that home smelled like it wasn’t there to stay.

now, home smells like you. it smells like the face mask you make him use because he takes shit care of himself. it smells like your bare shoulder in the morning, the patch of skin he always insists he kisses you awake on. it smells like your laughter, your smile, your beautiful eyes. you were home.

“samu?” you quip, pulling your boyfriend out of his trances. he blinks, his lazily draped arms subconsciously tightening around you.

“yes bella?” he asks, his voice lazy and his brown eyes tired from the day. if he could melt and simply become apart of you, he would. you’re the only part of himself he actually seems to love, anyway.

“were you listening?” you chuckle, knowing that he’s a thinker. he loves you for understanding that, for knowing the signs when he’s lost in his own brain. his nail biting, his wandering eyes, his occasional hums. you know it all, maybe better than dazai knows it about himself. you’d give anything to see what he’s thinking, the beautiful equations in his brain.

his lips curve into a smile, refocusing on you as you laid in his lap all tuckered out. “i’m sorry.”

you sigh, half disappointed but half too-love-struck-to-care. he pulls you flush against his chest, letting you listen to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. oh, how beautiful it sounds.

“i was saying we should go down to that new bakery.” you hum, not minding to recount your experiences for him. “atsushi told me kyouka really likes the crepes there.”

you know he’s listening this time, evident by the way his slender fingers travel through your hair. he loves the silky feel of it, how it may be the softest thing he’s ever felt after years of strangling throats and pulling triggers.

he melts onto that couch with you. the only other sound that can be heard is the occasional drip and drop from the sink. he makes a mental note to check on it in the morning, making sure its not leaking too much.

in his experience, everyone was up to something. no person was just kind for the sake of being kind. and for all his life, people wanted things from dazai. he was used and shaped into a demon when all he’s ever wanted was just to disappear. he insists he’s fine, and that this is just the person he is. he assures everyone that the voices he hears, in and external, don’t bother him at all.

but to you he can admit, that sometimes, he’s just too soft for all of it.

you built a home from the ground up with him. you sheltered and fed a man who never knew what it was like to be loved without condition. all you ever wanted from dazai was nothing. sweet, sweet nothings. and he knew he’d give you everything he is and more in return for that love, for those sweet nothings.

[lit3rallyll0yd]

๋࣭ ⭑ bad period cramps. bsd x reader

gender: gender neutral

type: headcanons

characters: poe, ranpo, dazai, chuuya, atsushi, and akutagawa

warnings: unedited writing, cursing, ooc characters(?), misspelt words :(

๋࣭ ⭑ edgar allen poe 🖋

"oh, dear..." he whispered to himself.

there you were. clutching your stomach tight, your head thrown back on the large sofa cushions.

you were silenty sitting their, suffering. there were some fresh and dry tears falling down your face.

he watched your from afar, watching you taking deep breaths in and out.

he saw pills on the drawer and a un-plugged heating pad that has fallen of you stomach, he assumed you were using it from your stomach.

"y/n..dear?" he called out, your head turning toward him. he locked eyes with your glossy ones has he walked toward you from the door.

when he reached you and knealt down close to your head, karl jumped off his shoulder and jumped onto the arm of the couch and huddled in on himself.

before he could reach his hand over and rub your stomach, you grabbed his hand and placed it on your stomach.

he smiled softly and started to rub, "you told me you were fine..." he sighed sadly, his cheek leaning against the arm of the couch that your head pillow was resting on.

you whined at the pain again before smiling softly, "i'm sorry, dear...:

"do you need anything?" he asked, looking up at you as he waited for a response.

you shake your head, "you're all i need right now.."

๋࣭ ⭑ ranpo edogawa 🔍

"it hurts!"

"i know.."

"it's hurts so damn much!"

"i could only imagine..:

"ranpo!" you whined, leaning your head against the work desk you at in. ranpo was sitting on the table across from yours, you and him the only ones in the room.

it was only hour 3 of your full day shift at the agency and you already want to bury yourself six feet under.

the detective eyed you, sucking on his lolipop.

he squints his eyes, watching you clutch your stomach tight and moving side to side slowly.

"then why did you come to work today?" he asked, the lolipop still in his mouth.

you sighed, leaning your head up and rested it on your palm.

"because kunikida will literally have my head if i'm not in...but i don't want to tell him about my period cramps because their embbarssing!"

and your head was back on the desk.

ranpo dug a hand into his pockets on his pants pulled out another sucker. he hoped off the table with a 'hmft!' and waltzed toward your suffering body and tapped your head with the lolipop.

you looked up from the desk, "it always helps me when i'm in pain." he winked, handing it to you and circled around you.

before you could say anything, you felt him lift the chair up and pratically knock you off.

"ah! ranpo-?"

he shuts your mouth with his own sucker and smiled, "you go home and relax, i'll let kunikida know you left early."

"but..i can't just.."

"yup! yes you can, because i said you can! don't worry, i'll talk with kunikida.."

but talk he means just say you left because of period cramps

he kissed your lips and winked, "now go, i got this."

๋࣭ ⭑ osamu dazai 🩹

"awh~ is my belladonna on their period~?" dazai asked, kneeling down close to your face, which was smushed up against the pillow of your shared bed.

almost pratically making out with it, thats how close you were to it.

you groaned loudly into the pillow hearing your boyfriends words.

he watched you enter the apartment with your bag hugged against your stomach, and small tears dared to fall from the corner of your eyes.

without a word, you stomped into the bedroom and slammed the door. dazai smiled to himself, stirring the tea he held in his hand, hot and ready for you to drink. however...you never even noticed he was here.

that was, until he walked in the room a couple minutes later with two cups of tea for him and you.

he's stands up striaght, walking toward the door to switch off the light. with a click, the room turned dim, the only light was the evening sunlight and the screensaver on the TV that hung high above the ground.

"you do know...a hot bath could help~?" of course, he meant that in a way to calm you down and show you a bright side, however you could'nt help but blush slightly hearing it come out of his mouth like that.

he waited for you to reply, walking back toward you, however you said nothing and just shrugged.

he said nothing as well as he laid in bed with you, however he laid on his back while you lied on your stomach.

"don't put to much pressure on it." he said, talking about your stomach. "it's better to have something soft and light on it..."

he smiled as he watched you slowly turn on your side and cuddle into his side. he followed you, mirroring your actions and grabbed a pillow and gently placed it on your stomach and rubbed the top and back of your head.

sooner or later, you fell asleep...getting a good talking to from kunikida for sleeping in late the next morning.

๋࣭ ⭑ chuuya nakahara 🍷BESTFUCKINPARTNERPLZ-IWANTHHIM

"does it hurt that bad? chuuya asked softly, rubbing your stomach gently as you laid in between his legs. your back was resting against his chest, feeling his heart beat once, then twice...and so forth.

you whined softly, grabbing his wrists, following his hands as he rubbed your stomach.

he kissed your ear when he saw a tear fall from your eye and down your cheek.

"sshh.." he shushed your, his breath tickling your ear.

"it hurts!" you cried, resting your head on his shoulder. "it hurts fucking hurts.."

"i know..." he whispered, "i know, baby."

over an hour went by with your cramps literally killing you, and in the moment chuuya's been thinking of ways to help.

you've had period cramps before, and chuuya's been there for you when he's not at work or has a break, or as a day off!

he hates seeing you in pain. when your hurt, he's hurt 10x worse.

he leaned forward, you being forced to follow in his actions and watched him pull out a towel from the drawer.

"i can run you a warm bath? relaxing your muscles should help with your cramps." chuuya said, rubbing your stomach once again before kissing your temple.

"can we havce mcdonalds for dinner?" you looked up at him with pouty lips, your knees close to your chest.

he chuckled, "your a sucker for them fries, aren't you?"

he taps your butt, "now, go get changed! i'll get the bath ready."

before he could leave, once he stepped out of bed he kissed your lips real quick.

"i love you.."

"i love you, too..."

๋࣭ ⭑ atsushi nakajima 🐅

"do you really not need anything else, y/n? a heating pad? food? i can make you some chicken soup? how about more pads? tampons? i have trouble going to the store and grabbing you some-"

"atsushi!" you snapped, cudding closer to him and rubbing his arm as he held you like a baby in his lap.

he shuts up real quick, rubbing your sides and stomach gently to calm the pain.

"sorry...i just-" he sighed, kissing your cheek before talking again, "i hate seeing you in pain..."

you were quiet for a moment, resting your head to his chest near his heart, taking a breath in and out feeling the sharp pain in your abdomen again.

"i know baby, i'm sorry, i know your trying to help.." you whispered, feeling his chin move a little on your head.

atsushi leaned his back against the bedframe of your shared room and apartment.

"can i be honest?" you asked, and your boyfriend hummed in response, his eyes closed as he rubbed your stomach in a circle.

"having you here is much more then i need to feel better..."

you closed your eyes after saying this, your legs tangled up with atsushi's.

he blushed slightly hearing your words, however he smiled and kissed your temple, leaving his lips there for a little bit bfore putting his chin back on your head.

"i'm gald...i love you."

you smiled, eyes still closed, "i love you more.."

๋࣭ ⭑ akutagawa ryūnosuke 🩸

"i don't know how to hold you..." he spoke nothing but the truth.

he sat criss-cross on your bed while you were lying on his lap, your head basically in between his legs near his thighs.

he had his hands in the air, almost like he was meditating, which made you laugh despite the sudden pain in your stomach.

"just.." you took his hand and placed it on your head, moving it up and down for him.

he froze, feeling a blush creep up to his face but he covered it with his free hand, coughing and looking toward the open window of your apartment.

once you let go of his hand and rested them on your stomach, he rubbed his fingers into your hair and skull.

you smiled happily, melting to his touch.

he was quiet for a moment, listening to the sound of your breathing.

"i'm sorry...i don't know how to help you properly..." he confessed, feeling bad he can't do more for you.

you almost forgot to respond, feeling his other hand rest on your shoulder and gently rub it.

you scruched your shoulder up when he got close to your neck, and pulled away both hands in fear he may have hurt you.

"aku~..." you laughed, leaning up and pushing yourself closer to him, taking his hands and smiled, "you being here to at least try and help me is all i need from you."

he kissed your lips out of embbaressement and leaned his forehead to yours.

"i only wish i could help you more.."

you thought for a moment,

"pay for my takeout, take a bath with me, and you've done everything to help me!"

"anything!"

[syoounn]

Morning kisses~

•Morning kisses with bsd men

•Characters: Ranpo, Nikolai, Fyodor

(Part 1)

˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*

Ranpo

You were in the living room watching tv as you left Ranpo in the bedroom and still asleep. It was too early to make some breakfast, so you decided to watch some of your favourite show and wait for him to be awake. You heard a footstep coming and saw Ranpo looking at you rather upset and immediately cling to you.

"Why you didn't wake me up..." He said while he snuggled up to you tight.

"I didn't wanna disturb you.." You said.

His breath was warm on your neck. When he looked up at you, he had a small smile on his face. Ranpo rubbed his hand on your head, pushing the hair out of your eyes.

He then looked at you with half-lidded eyes and spoke. "You forgot something"

You smiled as you gave him a soft smile as he pulled you up and kissed your neck. Ranpo was surprisingly passionate despite his childish demeanour. Ranpo's warm lips left a trail of goosebumps all along your body. He pulled his lips away ever so slightly.

"You are mine."

You were flushed by his words but he looks so adorable as you showered him with kisses while he still snuggled up to you. After a while, you decided to get up and prepare some breakfast but Ranpo is not planning of letting you go yet.

You sigh.. as you spoke. "Don't you not want to eat breakfast..?"

He didn't say anything as he keeps snuggling. "Fine.. i guess.. no more sweet delicious pancakes for you"

He looked at you, and his eyes widened as he slowly let go of you with a pout and slight blush on his cheeks. You chuckled as you got up to prepare him for some pancakes... you didn't expect that will work to make him let go, tho.

˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*

Nikolai

You did have a good sleep.. therefore waking up and seeing Nikolai staring at you, makes you flustered as you just woke up.

"Good morning dove~" He said while still looking at you.

Seeing him smiling at you and seem excited about something makes you sigh... he's full of surprises after all. You opened your arms as he immediately cling to you and he gives you a little kiss on your forehead before kissing you gently on your lips.

"Hmm.. dove.. you know how adorable you were while you're asleep?"

He then proceeds to plant more kisses across your cheek, leaning down to your ear to whisper and kiss that as well.

After that he begins placing and giving kisses all over your neck, slowly and softly to make sure to tease you even more.

You were giggling as his kisses were ticklish. Hearing you just giggling make Nikolai tease you more and smiling at you.. he admired you more and more you're so precious dove he wants.

He gives you another kiss on your cheek before pulling away to see your reaction.

���Guess what I’m going to do now~?”

"Hmm.. another ki-..." Before you can even finishe your words Nikolai kissed you on the lips, as both of you pulled away breathless. You can never forget that morning with him..

˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*

Fyodor

As the sun risen you woke up seeing Fyodor already awake and seem in the deep thought. He noticed you started getting up as he smiled.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked as you nodded and immediately cling to him.

Fyodor sighs at the sudden display of affection. Though, even as he does so, he wraps an arm around you and pulls you gently towards him. His voice is soft, almost pleasant, as he speaks. "My, someone is clingy today.."

"Hmm.. can i get my morning kisses?" You said pleading.

"Mm. Very well. You can have your kisses." His hands caress your waist, and his head tilts down. With no warning, he claims your lips in a passionate kiss, his grip tightening around your body.

"Mmmh... How good that is." Fyodor breaks the kiss with a low murmur. His dark eyes flicker with something akin to satisfaction, their gaze moving over your body. He grins a little before speaking once more.

You were satisfied and wished every morning was always like this, but even sometimes he's busy he always give you that morning kiss. As Fyodor gets up and gently take your hand.

"Now come on Myshka.. let's fetch some tea and breakfast.." As you get up.. both of you enjoyed your romantic breakfast together.

˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*

[kentopedia]

nightly rituals

ft. dazai, chuuya, sigma, ranpo, fyodor

summary — little things you do together before going to sleep

contents — very sweet, domestic moments !! sfw.

notes — another subpar short piece from me while i finish up some wips. i wrote this kind of quickly so pls forgive any errors !! :(

₊˚⊹♡ DAZAI + reading

“osamu.” you glanced up at him from under his book, drawing his name out as you rested your head on his lap.

until that point, you’d been scrolling through your phone, hoping he'd be annoyed by the lack of your attention. instead, dazai picked up the book you'd been reading together, and started from where you left off.

your ridiculous ploy for his affection had turned on you, and now, you were the one that was desperate to hear his voice.

dazai looked down at you, his eyes playful as he smiled. “what?”

you stared back at him, disgruntled by the fact that he’d so quickly figured out your silly little game and made it his own. "nothing."

dazai twisted a piece of your hair on his finger, patient, and shrugged, returning to the novel, looking far too interested in the pages.

you groaned, poking him in the stomach. “you’re just going to read ahead without me?”

“you didn’t seem to mind when you were on your phone instead.” he frowned, though most of his disappointment was feigned, and amusement lingered at the edges of his expression.

“you were in the shower!" you scoffed.

dazai laughed, and shifted the book to his other hand, and leaned over to kiss you softly. “i'm not anymore.”

though you usually indulged him in his antics, you were tired, and just wanted to close out the night with another chapter of the story you'd been so invested in. it was much better when it came straight from his lips.

“i can see that.” you rolled your eyes, frowning. “are you going to read to me now, osamu?”

dazai brightened, proud of himself for finally getting you to admit what you wanted. "well, you could've asked a little nicer, but since i love you..."

he flipped to the previous page, the one you'd both been at the night before, and you realized he hadn't even been reading at all.

you huffed out a laugh, burying your head further into his thighs, but dazai didn't start reading. he remained staring at you with a pointed expression.

"what's the matter now?"

"you didn't say it back." dazai's lips drew down theatrically.

you sighed, and pulled at the collar of his shirt, stretching your waist to kiss him, lazily, missing his lips by a mile. "you already know i love you too, osamu. that's the only reason you get away with annoying me all the time."

dazai, finally satisfied, let you fall back against him, and began reading the next chapter to you.

though you'd wanted to stay awake for a while longer, the minute he began, you were already dozing off, so warm in his arms.

“your voice is so nice,” you said sleepily, closing your eyes as he read. “like a lullaby.”

dazai laughed quietly, but he softened, smiling as he read. he held the book in one hand, and massaged your scalp with the other, delicate fingers threading through your hair until you fell asleep.

₊˚⊹♡ CHUUYA + skincare

“let me do it this time, chuuya," you said, staring him down with the sweet eyes of yours that you knew he could never resist.

chuuya could have easily stolen the tub of moisturizer away from you, but he let you hold it far out of his reach, his smile soft. “but i like doing it.”

“yeah, well, you do it every night. i want a turn.”

chuuya said nothing for a moment, his gaze sharp. then, he relented and sighed. “fine.” he leaned against the counter, resting his weight on it. “think you can ask me for whatever you want, and i'll just give it you, huh?”

you laughed, smiling as you unscrewed the lid. “i think we both know the answer to that.”

though you were only teasing him, chuuya softened, kissing your forehead. he placed his hands on your hips, drawing you closer and closer.

“you’re right,” he said, his eyelashes fluttering over his cheeks as you slathered the moisturizer over his smooth skin. “i can’t say no to you, baby.”

you shook your head, amused, and massaged his cheeks lightly. chuuya relaxed into your touch, the tightness in his jaw alleviating.

"don't fall asleep," you teased, running your thumb over his full bottom lip.

"'m not," he said, letting out a small breath. but his eyes were glazed when he opened them again, far too tender for such a powerful man. "your hands just feel so soft."

"i can't carry you to bed," you warned. "you'll have to sleep on the cold counter."

"you wouldn't let me stay here all night long." he slid his hands over your hips, down your back, grinning. "you hate sleeping in that bed without me."

₊˚⊹♡ SIGMA + making tea

“do you want honey in it, love?”

you hummed a yes, squeezing your arms around his waist, hugging him tighter from behind. his hair was soft against your cheek as you rested your head on his back.

sigma poured the water, letting the tea steep.

you leaned your weight on him, yawning. “how was your day?”

he craned his neck to see you, but didn’t move otherwise, letting you get comfortable as you waited for the tea to finish. “it was alright.” he laced his free hand with yours, shifting. “a little stressful. better, now that i get to see you.”

you smiled, kissing a notch in his spine, too lazy to move any further. “why'd you leave before i could say goodbye this morning?”

though you didn't really mind, sigma seemed genuinely apologetic, and squeezed your hand. “sorry. i had to be in early today. did you see my note?”

you smiled, and nodded, listening to the rhythmic beat of his blood pumping, the very sign that he was just as human as the rest of you.

"i did. it was sweet." with a sigh, you straightened your back to look at him completely. for the first time since you’d gotten home, you realized how tired he was, how drained he’d been this entire week. you ran your fingers through his hair gently, your voice like a purr. “you need to get some rest. i've barely seen you this week.”

“i have work to do.” he frowned. “they need me there.”

“i know." you watched as sigma took out the tea bags, throwing them into the trash. “i need you too, though.”

sigma paused, momentarily, as he stirred the honey in, before shaking his thoughts and blinking back at you. “i didn’t realize—”

you stopped him before he could spiral into another apology, the tension in his brow obvious. "i'm not upset." when the small tangles had been brushed out, you began braiding a small section of his hair, the strands silky in your palm. “just promise me you’ll take care of yourself too.”

sigma stared from over his shoulder for a moment more before acquiescing. he handed a steaming mug to you, turning around to surprise you with a gentle kiss. "okay," he said against your lips, the touch so tender. "i promise."

₊˚⊹♡ RANPO + video games

“you’re so bad at this.” ranpo threw another handful of candy into his mouth, watching your avatar on the screen as you continued to fail.

frowning, you pressed another button vigorously, not quite sure if it was the right one to achieve your goal.

of course, nothing seemed to happen, and instead, you’re barraged by the enemy, your health going down to a level that seemed almost irrecoverable.

you leaned back into ranpo’s chest, pinching your eyebrows together. “i don’t play this as much as you do.” you said from where sat between his thighs, still trying to figure out how to win his favorite game. “cut me some slack.”

ranpo laughed, his breath tickling the lobe of your ear as he leaned forward. he slid your thumb to a different button, brushing your skin lightly. “try that, sweets.”

it seemed to be the obvious solution, and you made a face at him, momentarily distracted. "your genius never fails to amaze me."

though, when you glanced back at the screen, you’ were back to where you started, all your progress lost. “ranpo,” you said, his name coming out on the edge of a whine. “what happened?”

he took the controller from you, not even giving you a moment to try again. quickly, he moved towards the next checkpoint, knowing exactly where to go, a seasoned professional. “you got killed. too busy staring at me.”

you sighed, reaching for the controller, but he held it out of your reach, grinning at you mockingly.

“let me try again, ranpo!”

“i’ll get you to the next part. you’ve tried this three times already.”

it wasn’t as fun watching as it was playing, but you sighed, and let him take over. as he went through the remaining quests, you rested your head back onto his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

ranpo made it through the rest of that level in mere minutes.

“here, it should be easier now.” though when he went to hand the game over to you, you’d fallen asleep in his lap, your breathing even and light.

₊˚⊹♡ FYODOR + playing the cello

“you play so beautifully.”

fyodor opened his eyes, watching you from under dark lashes. though his hands didn’t stop moving, the beginnings of a smile formed on his lips.

“i wish i could play an instrument,” you continued mindlessly, stretched over the couch. your head rested on the throw pillows, side aching from how long you'd been laying there, listening to the cello.

fyodor was across the room, relaxed completely in the chair he always played in. beside him, he was surrounded by evidence of his hobby. sheet music, scribbled and messy, rested on the table, stained with coffee rings. candle light flickered through the room.

he hesitated, the bow softly coming to a stop across the strings. “i can teach you.” fyodor's pause was brief, and he began playing once more, slower this time, like a serenade. a piece of hair fell over his face, between his eyebrows, distracting you.

you shivered, mind filled with thoughts of him standing behind you, directing your hands towards the right movements, whispering instructions in your ears.

but you shook your head, wrapping the blanket tighter around you. “maybe,” you said, your smile wistful. “but i won’t be as good as you. i’d rather listen.”

“alright.” he let out a short laugh, blinking his eyes shut again to return his attention to the piece. he came to the last few measures, approaching the conclusion. “is there any piece you’d like to hear?” fyodor said, his voice softer than usual, almost like he didn’t want to disturb his own playing.

you thought back on everything you’d heard him play before. he’d told you the names, but it was hard to remember. so many of them sounded the same, titled by numbers and words you didn't understand.

it didn't matter, though. you thought everything he played sounded beautiful. often, he was even better than any recordings you’d ever heard.

“something that makes you think of me,” you said in a hushed whisper, placing your chin on your arms to see him better. "if that's alright."

fyodor, then, smiled more fully, his eyes full of an affection that eclipsed his otherwise gloomy features. “there are many things that make me think of you,” he said, slowing once more to transition into a richer, smoother melody. one that would, inevitably, put you into a deep, peaceful sleep. “but, perhaps this one fits the moment best.”

i haven't written for fyodor, sigma or ranpo before, so i hope this is okay !! im trying to get over my fear of making sure every single action & dialogue is perfectly in character :,)

[livelaughlovesubs]

How do u think the bsd men would react if u randomly said " Stop that your turning me on... " When they do something cute during a conversation ?

The flustered ones:

How could you say something like that so easily, how bold do you want to be? Isn’t it embarrassing? And what do you mean it turns you on? All they did was being themselves…!

Atsushi, Poe, Eckleburg

The confused ones:

Huh? You mean them? What? What exactly did they do to make you.. uhhh.. feel that way? Are you sure it isn’t just a stomach ache? What?

Akutagawa, Rimbaud, Bram, Oda

The stunned ones:

They are a little awkward, like, okay… so what now. Should they keep doing exactly that or what exactly is it that you want them to do? Also the initial shock was too much to handle.

Fyodor, sigma, kunikida, Nathaniel, Tachihara

They laugh it off:

Haha! You are funny, it turns you on? Man, what are you, a high school student? ha-haha… (secretly actually the flustered type)

Ranpo, jouno, Mushitaro, Shibusawa (or maybe the one below this)

Flirting back:

Ohh, is that so? My my, I didn’t expect you to be so direct about it! You find me quite endearing huh? Shall I keep doing it for you then, sweetheart?

Dazai, Nikolai, Mark, Ayatsuji

The ones who ignore it:

They just simply ignore your comment. Because they didn’t want to hear it, don’t know how to respond, or is too flustered and want to change the subject.

Fukuzawa, Ango, Tetcho

[akutasoda]

BSD men with a self-sacrificial healer s/o? Like, healing others drains them drastically but they push forward and ignore the pain to soothe others.

pain of healing

synopsis - how are they with an s/o who is a 'self-sacrificing' healer

includes - dazai, ranpo, akutagawa, tecchou

warnings - gn!reader, fluff, slight angst, small mentions of injuries, wc - 725

osamu dazai ★↷

↪at first, he thought that having a healing ability was pretty cool, it didn't require much to use and it certainly could come in handy. but he didn't like it all that much when he found out that it hurt you in return.

↪now he preferred you to not use your ability unless absolutely necessary, but he knew that was an unrealistic ask. you used your ability to help your coworkers and friends, he loved that about you but sometimes he wished that you weren't so willing.

↪even if he was injured, he'd prefer you not to use your ability on him. he hated the way you became so tired, practically on the verge of passing out and in pain. he'd rather be in pain than see you in pain because you were trying to help him.

↪whenever he is on a field mission with you and notices you healing someone, he waits an exact amount of time before he walks over and nullifies your ability. he knows exactly when it starts hurting you and he can't bear it.

ranpo edogawa ★↷

↪he despised your ability. ranpo wouldn't say it to your face, he would but he held himself back from doing so, because he knew that it wasn't your fault. you didn't ask for your ability but sometimes he really wished you didn't use it.

↪he didn't exactly join you on field missions or when you were helping yosano, but he knew exactly what happened anytime an injury occurred. he knew that you would push your body to it's limits just to ensure your coworkers safety, put yourself through the pain and fatigue just to heal them.

↪for once he wished you were selfish. that you put your own health above those around you and save yourself that pain. he may never bring it up, but you could tell it bothered him - you weren't too keen on your abilities' drawback but you wanted to help.

↪you'd start noticing that you were put on less missions, immediately you knew that ranpo was purposefully putting a word in and so you quickly confronted him.

↪he hated the fact that you overexerted yourself for others, he worried for you. you'd have to promise to him that you wouldn't put yourself through so much pain.

ryūnosuke akutagawa ★↷

↪he doesn't exactly care what your ability is, but something about the fact that most of the port mafia rely upon your ability for injuries, makes him rather annoyed. not because you're helping others, but because it hurts you.

↪he won't say anything, it's not his place and he doesn't exactly know how to, but you can tell by the obvious look on his face - the one that turns into a scowl, not directed at you, if he's in the vicinity of you healing someone.

↪akutagawa would always find a way to tell you off for overdoing it whenever he catches you afterwards. you always look tired and in so much pain that he hates that you sacrifice your health for the sake of some insignificant people.

↪but he knows that you won't listen, and he can't make you. all he can do is scold you each and every time, making sure that he gets the point across in his own way.

tecchou suehiro ★↷

↪he was quite indifferent about your ability, it was nice that you had one but at the end of the day, it wasn't exactly the most important thing. although when he learnt about the conditions and drawbacks, he didn't like your ability as much as he would like to.

↪tecchou understood that you wanted to help people so he never said anything but he hated how you always seemed drained of all energy and in pain afterwards each time. he knew it wasn't exactly his place but he wished he would actually say something.

↪however, he was content to always be near you if you two were on a mission, he wanted to be able to be near you just in case you needed help. he could be fine with you healing overs but he wouldn't be okay if something major happened to you in the process.

taglist - @little-miss-chaoss, @vi-chan07

[drearycrow]

How bsd men act when they have a crush on you headcanons

Notes: I forgot to post this yesterday. I'm trying to write different characters from bsd instead of the usual ones I write for. Requests are open

⚔️Tecchou⚔️

⚔️- He acts like everything is normal

⚔️- Keeps a stoic face when you're around but deep down inside butterflies flutter in his stomach

⚔️- Jouno often nags him for his heart beating fast when you're around. He knows about his little crush on you

⚔️- Offers you food with weird combinations

⚔️- Walks you home everyday to ensure you're safe

❄Tanizaki❄

❄- Gets visibly nervous when you're around. He starts to stutter when he speaks to you

❄- Likes you give you little gifts

❄- Often cooks for you when you go to his dorm

❄ - Blushes easily when you get close to him

❄- It's very obvious to everyone in the Agency that he has a crush on you

❄- He doesn't hide it very well

❄- Is willing to kill anyone that dares to hurt you in anyway

❄- Makes a little card for you with a written confession and leaves it on your desk. He crosses his fingers hoping you don't throw it away and accepts his feelings towards you

🩹Tachihara🩹

🩹-Finds any excuse to hang out with you whenever he's free

🩹- Takes you to the arcade to have fun if you're feeling down or having a bad day

🩹- Gives you his jacket when you are cold

🩹- Tries to act cool when you talk to another guy but deep down he is burning with jealousy

🩹- Is there with you no matter how bad the situation is

🩹- Hopes that one day you will be his partner in crime

🍭Ranpo🍭

🍭- Shares his sweets with you which is a shocker to everyone since he never shares with anybody

🍭- Likes to tease you

🍭- Gets very clingy to you when he wants your attention

🍭- Praises you when you do a good job

🍭- Memorized all of your likes and dislikes

🍭- Gets pouty when you aren't around

🎰Sigma🎰

🎰- He is very shy around you and tries his best to not talk to you at all

🎰- It makes him feel guilty to avoid you like that but he's afraid that you will be grossed out by him

🎰- Makes an effort to spend more time with you when he realizes he was hurting you

🎰- Let's you stay at the Sky Casino for free

🎰- He will play any games or slot machines with you whenever you visit him

🎰- Gets frustrated when he can't muster up the courage to confess his feelings

[cloudyyoimiya]

hi, i love your writing!

could you do yandere ranpo, chuuya, dazai and atsushi with a s/o who’s really sleepy all the time? basically like, anemic like fyodor 💀

no stop this ask is like a callout post. i sleep all of the time during the day and i stay up all night… i should probably fix that LMAO. anon, you and i may or may not be anemic. /j anyways yes i love this request! thank you for requesting!! <3

Their Darling Is Always Sleepy; Osamu Dazai, Ranpo Edogawa, Atsushi Nakajima, and Chuuya Nakahara

Format: Headcanons

Possible warnings: Yandere content, dark themes, mentions of kidnapping, mentions of non-consensual drug usage

Osamu Dazai

When he first met you he took note of your trait of sleeping all of the time. At first it concerned him since he thought that it might have been a health condition, but when he found out that it wasn't, he found it absolutely adorable.

He would bring you pillows so you can nap comfortably on your desk, or sometimes he’d even bring a spare blanket to the agency for you.

Sometimes he’d find you sleeping around the agency’s office, or he’d find you sleeping in a booth at the café downstairs. He’d of course let you sleep because someone as adorable as you deserves your beauty rest, no?

Though, sometimes he’d get slightly frustrated because he wanted to spend more time with you. You would know when you ticked him off by his tone of voice. If he was more whiny then usual, then that was your telltale sign of to stay awake for him.

More often than not you’d wake up to his coat draped on your shoulders, acting as a makeshift blanket. You told him more than once that he didn’t need to do this for you, but he insisted on doing this for you.

Eventually when he fell in love with you, he’d become paranoid about your sleeping habits. He knew that you were very capable of protecting yourself, but what if someone took advantage of you while you were sleeping? And what if he wasn’t there to protect you? He absolutely hated the thought.

After all, evil expects evil.

He didn’t want anything bad happening to you. You may have not known it then, but you were his lifeline. If something happened to you, then he wouldn’t know what to do with himself.

After a few weeks of contemplating on what he should do, he eventually kidnapped you.

Terribly enough, he took you while you were napping. He did exactly what he feared what would happen to you. A part of him felt awful, but another part was happy that you were finally safe in his arms.

He knew that you’d never leave him.

You like him far too much for that.

Ranpo Edogawa

To put it in short, he absolutely loved your ability to sleep anywhere. In fact it’s one of the reasons why he fell so head over heels for you. He found it absolutely adorable! How could he not?! He got to see your adorable sleeping face!

In fact, seeing you nap was his motivation for each day. He absolutely loved seeing you so at peace. He wouldn’t trade it for the world.

When you two first got into a more normal relationship, he’d often nap with you if he wasn’t on a case. He absolutely loved to snuggle up to you and close his eyes. It was very relaxing to him.

Ranpo would keep a blanket and two pillows in a closet reserved only for the two of you. Fukuzawa of course approved of this for some reason. Maybe it was because Ranpo talked him into it?

Sometimes you’d find that you were more tired than usual. This would always happen after Ranpo offered you a drink as well. Surly he wouldn’t drug you just so he could cuddle you, right? He’s not that insane, right?

If you ever wanted to snack on something right after you woke up, then he’d let you eat some of his food. He is obsessed with you after all. Why wouldn’t he show you his love like this?

When you started to not want to nap with anymore, that’s when his obsessive tendencies started to kick in. How dare you not want to cuddle with the greatest detective anymore? You said it was because that you were starting to get sweaty from the constant affections since it was the summer months, but he didn’t want to hear any of it.

After all, he is quite childish.

When he decided to kidnap you, he gave you a higher dosage of the sleeping drug that he would give you. It wasn’t enough to cause permanent damage, no, but it was enough to have you asleep for a whole day if he was lucky.

Now that you’re with him, he’ll make sure that the two of you nap and or cuddle whenever he gets the chance. He’s very clingy towards you because he loves you oh so much.

And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Atsushi Nakajima

When he first met you, you were napping at your desk. Originally he didn’t believe in love at first sight, but you somehow managed to change his view on that just by being lazy and sleeping while on the clock.

He absolutely found your ability to sleep anywhere adorable, but also slightly concerning. He was overly cautious of what might happen to you. What if the Port Mafia went to strike while you were sleeping? What if the agency got in danger? What if some one tried to kill you?

He got very anxious because of these things. He knew he wasn’t being rational, but still, those thoughts clouded his brain. He couldn’t get them out of his head, and he hated it.

When you went home for the day to take yet another nap, he would follow you home and watch you through a window. He knew what he was doing was wrong, but he had to make sure that you’d be alright.

You’re the light of his life.

When you were sleeping in the office, he’d always make sure to move right near you just in case of an emergency. Though, he’d do this once he was sure that you were asleep. Because of his ability allowing him to hear slightly better than others, he’d only come near you once your breathing became more steady.

Sometimes your coworkers would coo at the two of you. They honestly thought that you were dating because of how clingy the weretiger was.

You’d have to explain to them that you’re just friends, and that wounded Atsushi. He wouldn’t let that show though.

Atsushi wouldn’t resort to kidnapping out of worry for you. No, not at all. What he’d do is make sure to stay near you at all times. He’s guilt trip you into moving in with him because he was just that worried about you.

Once he was able to always keep a watchful eye on you, he’d start to relax. He’d let you sleep without any worrying on his end.

Just don’t leave him, alright?

He wouldn’t know what to do with himself if you left.

Chuuya Nakahara

When he first found out about your tendencies to sleep anywhere at any given time, he was a tad bit concerned for your health. He knew that wasn’t normal, so when he asked you about it you made sure to assure him that it’s just something you do. You had to repeatedly tell him that you’re fine.

Once he got more used to your ability to sleep like that, he found it adorable. He liked that you trusted him enough to nap around him without a care in the world. He liked that if anything happened, he would be the one to save you.

Much like Dazai, sometimes he’d drape his coat over your shoulders so you could have a makeshift blanket. Or if it just so happened to be too bright in the room, he’d give you his hat so you could put it over your face to block out the light.

Though, sometimes he’d find your constant napping somewhat annoying. He wanted to spend time with you, especially on his rare days off! He didn’t just want to watch you sleep.

Because of this, on his days off you are forced to stay awake and be with him at all times. If you fell asleep or strayed away from him, then he’d get quite angry with you. He wouldn’t hurt you, no not in the slightest, but he’d lightly threaten you. After a few times you got the message and you’ve been by his side ever since.

More often than not he’d coax you into sleeping over at his place. The reasons he gave you to do so were simple; his house was on the larger side, and you’d be more comfortable.

Those reasons were true, yes, but he also left out the part where he’d watch you nap almost obsessively.

Sometimes he’d carry you to his bed and tuck you in for the night. He loved moments like those because it made him feel like your actual boyfriend.

Chuuya wouldn’t kidnap you because of your tendencies to sleep whenever you get the chance. Well, maybe he would if something bad happened to you, but that would be in the future and it would be a huge ‘what if’ scenario.

Just don’t leave your guard dog, alright?

[weird-grapejuice]

WAN!FUKUZAWA WILL BE MY DOWNFALL. It shows his skrunkly side that I did not know I needed until I saw his cute face (I̶ d̶i̶d̶n̶’t̶ n̶e̶e̶d̶ i̶t̶ u̶n̶t̶i̶l̶ m̶y̶ d̶a̶d̶ l̶e̶f̶t̶).

Anyways I fully believe that he would be the type of man that would show his softer side to his lover because he trusts that they will still respect him as a leader. H̶e̶ a̶l̶s̶o̶ w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶n̶’t̶ b̶e̶ a̶n̶ a̶s̶s̶h̶o̶l̶e̶ w̶h̶o̶ a̶b̶a̶n̶d̶o̶n̶s̶ h̶i̶s̶ f̶a̶m̶i̶l̶y̶. I̶’m̶ l̶o̶o̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ a̶t̶ y̶o̶u̶, D̶a̶d̶.

Images and GIFS are not mine!

[sleepingdeath-light]

ranpo edogawa smut hcs ; 18+

requested by ; nobody / self indulgent

fandom(s) ; bungo stray dogs

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; ranpo edogawa

outline ; “smut hcs for ranpo”

note ; may be a bit shaky in terms of characterisation as i haven’t written for this character before, may come back and tweak this in the future…

warning(s) ; sexually explicit content, dominant-leaning!ranpo, mean dom!ranpo, brat!ranpo, food play, somnophilia, praise kink, edging, overstimulation

minors and ageless blogs will be blocked

ranpo is a switch by nature but it’s not often that you’ll get the chance to truly dominate him in the bedroom — of course there are times where he wants nothing more than to sit back and be pampered by his adoring dom/domme after a long day of solving cases that everyone else is too stupid to crack themselves, and there are certainly times where he’ll get all whiny and bratty in an effort to get your attention back on him when he feels like you’re neglecting him, but nine times out of ten when you two are being intimate its the world’s greatest detective that’s holding the reins

a lazy lover by nature, ranpo prefers to have sex with you on top doing most (or even all) of the work — ideally this means you riding him in the ‘cowgirl’ or ‘reverse cowgirl’ position while he gets to sit back and take in the view, but if you ask him nicely enough then he can be convinced to spread his legs and let you fuck him with your strap/cock (just don’t expect him to get any more active now that you’re inside of him, if anything he becomes even more of a pillow prince when you do this)

as a dom he can get rather mean, putting his powers of observation to good use by ensuring you never have a moment’s peace when you’re in his vicinity (unless you use a safe word, of course; he may be cruel, but he’s not a monster!) — this usually translates to him teasing the hell out of you in public in ways that are subtle enough to not tip anyone else off about what he’s really saying and doing, but he also uses his intense familiarity with you and your body to edge and deny you in the bedroom until he gets whatever it is he wants from you

as touched upon earlier, when he’s in a more submissive mood ranpo gets extremely needy and demanding of your attention and affection — and if you happen to be distracted by something (or someone) else and he feels at all neglected by you as a result then he’ll turn into a complete and utter brat who can and will make your life a whole lot more difficult than it needs to be until you either give into his demands (ideal for him) or put him in his place (not ideal but still enjoyable enough for him)

he’s a big fan of food play and often goes out of his way to bring home sweet foods that he knows are completely safe for you both to play with — of course there are the standard items like whipped cream or chocolate sauce, but ranpo is much more adventurous than that and is always eager to branch out and test out which new flavour and texture combinations work best with the taste of your release (frankly this is one of the only times where ranpo will be active and engaged in the bedroom, so enjoy it while it lasts!)

ranpo excels at dirty talk because he’s quick to pick up on what gets you hot and bothered — whether you’re more into degradation or praise or if you prefer him to mix them together, whether you get harder/wetter from his voice when he’s whispering his words against the shell of your ear or when he’s teasing you in his normal speaking voice, what you like him to call you and what tone he should use when he’s saying it, what phrases get the best reactions out of you, and so on… all things that he picks up on pretty much the first time you two sleep together and that he continues to make use of for the rest of your relationship

he loves being woken up by you either fucking yourself on his cock or sucking him off after he’s had a wet dream — nothing beats it in his eyes and he swears waking up like that gives him much more energy to deal with the day ahead of him

he can enjoy giving and receiving mild amounts of pain (e.g. playful spanking, leaving hickeys on each other, and some light hair pulling), but refuses to engage in anything more extreme (such as knife play or breath play) — yes he knows how to participate in those kinks safely, and yes he can understand the appeal of those kinks on paper, but he refuses to engage in anything that runs a risk of causing either of you real harm and that’s one limit of his that will never change

ranpo has a massive praise kink and loves hearing you tell him how good he’s making you feel, how amazing he is, how much you love him, and so on — and if you happen to combine it with some begging for his touch (bonus points if it’s for his frustratingly talented tongue or his cock) then you’re all but guaranteed to have an eventful evening ahead of you

because of his intimate familiarity with your body ranpo is extremely good at both edging and overstimulating you, skills that he takes full advantage of when he’s dominating you — e.g. edging you until you say what he wants you to or until he’s bored of doing so, and then overstimulating you until you’re in tears and either clearly too far gone to continue or lucid enough to call the safe word before you get to that point

his approach to aftercare varies depending on what role he was in and how intense your session together was — e.g. if he was submitting to you then he expects to be pampered and will act rather childish and entitled to the ‘princess treatment’ from you, whereas if he was dominating you he’ll remain lighthearted and teasing while also subtly checking you over for any injuries and just generally making sure you’re okay (he might even share some of his snacks with you if he’s feeling nice enough… might being the key word there)

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

Two detectives in your bed

Self-Aware! Edogawa Ranpo x GN! Reader x Self-Aware! Dazai Osamu

Description: You wanted to take a nap. But, there are two detectives in your bed. And all of your blankets and pillows are gone.

Fluff. Silly short fic.

Sequel to Delayed package

Warning: OOC. English is my second language.

______

You just wanted to take a nap.

You just wanted to lay down on your bed, cover yourself with the blanket, put your head on a pillow and have a nice nap. Because you deserved this nap. You are working hard in the university. And you are helping with the house chores. You deserved to have a small rest.

The plan was simple. Go into your room - Lay down on the bed - Cover yourself with the blanket - Lay your head on a pillow - Sleep.

Pretty simple plan, right?

Well, wrong! You were wrong!

You shake your head, hoping, that you were just too tired and started seeing things. It must be a mistake and your room should be empty.

You opened your eyes and stare on your bed.

They were still there.

Dazai Osamu and Ranpo Edogawa were laying in your bed. Ranpo was lying across the bed, while Dazai was laying on his side, looking at you with a sly grin.

It's not like you were against their company. Or against anyone's company. It wasn't even the problem, that they were in your room. Or in your bed.

You knew that some of BSD Cast find your room shooting. They love spending time here. They like staying here. And you allowed them to go into your room, while you weren't there.

A few times you returned to your room, finding Lucy reading a book here, or Kunikida, taking notes in his notebook, or Tetchou taking a nap in your bed.

Of course, they have some restrictions. They weren't allowed to search through the drawers, and they must ask if they want to take something from your room to theirs, be it a textbook or a laptop. And, as long as these rules are followed, there were no problems.

So, you weren't angry, that Ranpo and Dazai got into your room when you weren't here. You were angry, that your blanket and pillow were gone.

And, if Ranpo's and Dazai's sly smirks imply something, that they were the reason, they are gone.

You frowned and looked at two 'intruders'.

"What are you two doing in my bed?"

Ranpo rolls on his side and turn his head in your detection. He smirked.

"Oh, you know, just hanging around. Waiting for you."

You rolled your eyes. There is no Purple Sigh on your door, so these two aren't in distress. And it doesn't explain the missing blanket and pillow.

"Why? And where are my blanket and pillow?"

Ranpo's smirk became bigger.

"Somewhere. I wonder where... Do you know where they are, Dazai?"

Dazai chuckled and looked at your direction. He looked as sly as Ranpo.

"Have no idea, Ranpo."

Ranpo hummed.

"Oh, I remember! Kids were building a pillow fort? I recall they were asking for a permission to took blankets and pillows."

You rub your temples. You recall, how Sakura asked your permission to take some blankets and pillows for the pillow fort. Okay, you can do this. It's not like kids took all your blankets and pillows.

You start searching through your shelves, trying to find a blanket and a pillow. You must have a few more somewhere there.

During your search, you felt Ranpo's and Dazai's gazes on you.

Ranpo yawned and looked at Dazai.

"Dazai, have you heard about what happened yesterday? You see, Fyodor and Nikolai were visiting [Y/N]'s old house, trying to retrieve something..."

You let out a nervous whine and feel, like you were burning up. Your cheeks and ears were on fire. You try to focus on anything else, not paying attention to Ranpo.

"... And when they got back home..."

Where are the blankets and pillows?

"... We didn't see [Y/N], Fyodor and Nikolai for the rest of the day and night..."

Maybe they are in this wardrobe?

"... And [Y/N] appeared only at the morning..."

Why you can't find blankets and pillows?!

"... Do you think you can explain, what happened, [Y/N]?"

You turned back and looked at two detectives on your bed. Dazai and Ranpo both looked like two cats, that ate all sour cream in the house. Your face still felt like it was on fire.

You breathe in and out.

"Where... Where are the rest..."

Ranpo grinned and finally opened his eyes.

"Kids wanted to make a huge pillow fort. They took all blankets in the house."

What? Were kids trying to make a fort that is big enough to live in? The idea of going to them and took one pillow and blanket was rejected immediately. It's still daytime, let the kids play.

But, you want to be nice and cozy while taking a nap.

Two detectives noticed your face expression. Dazai dramatically raise both of his hands up.

"Oh, My Dear Iris Flower, don't worry, you won't be cold or uncomfortable! I will be your blanket and Ranpo..."

What? A blanket?

Ranpo waves his hand.

"And I will be your pillow"

You will repeat. What? A pillow?

You blinked owlishly. Dazai open his arms, inviting you to hug him.

"Don't be shy, [Y/N]! Come here and hug me. Look, that I am soft and warm. A perfect blanket."

Ranpo lift his shirt up, showing his stomach.

"And my belly is soft. Softer, than any pillow you will ever have."

Ranpo opened his eyes slightly.

"And, both Dazai and I are much more good-looking than any... print on a pillow case you could find."

YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT BSD CAST WERE SELF-AWARE, WHEN YOU ORDER TWO DAKIMAKURAS WITH FYODOR AND NIKOLAI ALMOST A YEAR AGO!

AND, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, THAT PACKAGE GOT DELAYED, AND, WHEN IT FINALLY ARRIVED, YOU NOT ONLY FORGET WHAT SHOULD BE INSIDE, BUT ASKED FYODOR AND NIKOLAI TO GET IT FROM YOUR PREVIOUS NEIGHBORS!

AND, YOU DIDN'T KNOW, THAT YOU WERE SHOP'S 5000 CLIENT AND, AS A PRESENT, YOU GET PILLOW CASES FOR DAKIMAKURAS WITH DIFFERENT BSD CHARACTERS!

You feel a chill running down your spine. Yesterday, you spent half of the day and all night, cuddling Fyodor and Nikolai. Well, to be more specific, you were wrapped into a blanket and stuck between Fyodor and Nikolai, that wanted to show you, that they are better than any pillow. And prettier. And clingier. It was the best cuddles you ever had. Almost. All their teasing were unbearable!

You don't want to know, how Ranpo and Dazai learn about the pillows and pillow cases. Either, because they are Dazai and Ranpo. Or because Fyodor and Nikolai told them. It doesn't matter right now.

...

You probably could take a nap in the living room. On the couch. With no pillows and blankets.

Or, you can give up and have a nap with Ranpo and Dazai. And, once again, cuddled for the rest of the day.

Ranpo, whose eyes were still opened, laughed.

"There are no free blankets or pillows in the house. Your nap on the couch will be cold. Besides," Ranpo had a tight grin on his face. "Is it really that bad to sleep with us?"

You massage your temples. It wasn't bad, just... They will never let you live the dakimakuras incident down, right?

Dazai give you the best puppy dog eyes he can.

"Are you tired, Dear [Y/N]?" Dazai cooed, opening his arms for a hug again. "Take a nap. You will feel better!"

You give up and plopped down on your bed, rolled to Dazai and put your head on Ranpo's stomach.

He was soft and warm. You still can't believe, that BSD Gang were real, breathing, living people.

Dazai nested on top of you, pinning your hands between his chest and yours. Dazai's face pressed against the crook of your neck.

Ranpo's fingers started running through your hair.

"Aren't we better, than any pillow or blanket you will ever have? Or any pillow case?"

You let out a tiny groan.

"I already explained it, that I forgot about the package! It took almost a year to be delivered!"

Ranpo chuckled and Dazai rub his nose against your throat.

"Dear Iris Flower, don't be embarrassed. You gift us a great opportunity to cuddle with you more!"

You rolled your eyes.

"Yea, it's not like we don't snuggle almost every day"

Ranpo and Dazai laugh a little. Dazai kissed the tip of your nose.

"Well, I still want more cuddles!"

Ranpo poked your cheek.

"So am I."

You mumble something, but close your eyes and doze off. Dazai and Ranpo were great as a blanket and pillow.

Right before falling in Dream Kingdom, you heard Ranpo's voice.

"Sleep tight, [Y/N]. Have a good dreams."