#Sheffield packing and moving

[chamberlainsremovals]

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[sophaeros]

arctic monkeys for q magazine, june 2011 (x) (x)

ARCTIC MONKEYS: Inside Alex Turner's Head

Words Sylvia Patterson Portrait John Wright

The day Arctic Monkeys moved into their six bedroom, Spanish-style villa in the Hollywood Hills, where the first-floor balcony looked over the patio swimming pool, they knew exactly what to do.

"From the balcony, you could get on t'roof and jump in't pool," chirps the Monkeys' most gregarious member, drummer Matt Helders, in his homely Yorkshire way. "We looked at it and said, That's definitely gonna happen. So by the end, we did a couple of 'em. Somersaults in t'pool, from the roof. At night time."

In January 2011, as Sheffield and the rest of Britain endured its bitterest winter in a century, Arctic Monkeys capered among the palm trees, eschewing hotels for a millionaire's Hollywood homestead as they recorded and mixed their fourth studio album, Suck It and See.

The four Monkeys, alongside producer James Ford and engineer James Brown, lived what they called the "American man thing": watched Super Bowl on giant TVs, played ping-pong, hired two Mustangs, cooked cartoon Tom And Jerry-sized steaks on barbecues on Sundays, had girlfriends over to visit, all cooking and drinking around the colossal outdoor kitchen area featuring a fridge and two dishwashers. Living atop the Hills, they could see the Pacific Ocean beyond by day, the infinite glittering lights of downtown LA by night.

Every day, en route to Sound City Studios, they'd travel in a seven-seater four-by-four through the mountains, via bohemian 60s enclave Laurel Canyon, blaring out the tunes: The Stones Roses, The Cramps, the Misfits' Hollywood Babylon. For the sometime teenage art-punk renegades whose guitarist, Jamie Cook, was once ejected from London's Met Bar for refusing to pay €22 for two beers, the comedy rock'n'roll life still feels, however, absolutely nothing like reality.

NICK O'MALLEY: "It were really as if we were on holiday. When we came back it's the most post-holiday blues I've ever had!"

JAMIE COOK: "It's hard to comment on that. It were just really good fun."

MATT HELDERS: "We always said, As soon as things like that feel normal, we're in trouble. But it's just funny. You might think it would get more and more serious as you get older but it's getting funnier. We've done four albums now and I'm still only 24, I'm still immature to an extent. So who cares?"

Alex? Al? Are you there?

ALEX TURNER: "Yeah, it were good times. But we were in the studio most of the time. So there's no real wild Hollywood stories. Hmn. Yeah."

Wednesday, 16 March 2011, Strongroom Bar, Shoreditch, East London, 11am. Alex Turner, 25, slips entirely alone into an empty art-crowd brasserie looking like an indie girl's indie dream boy: mop-top bouffant hair which coils, in curlicues, directly into his cheekbones, army-green waist-length jacket, baggy-arsed skinny jeans, black cord zip-up cardigan, simple gold chain, supermoon sized chocolate-brown eyes.

Almost six years after I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor became the indie-punk anthem of a generation (from the first of Arctic Monkeys' three Number 1 albums), and nothing prepares you for the curious phenomenon of Alex Turner "in conversation". Unlike so many of the Monkeys frenetic early songs, he operates in slow motion, seemingly underwater, carrying a protective shell on his back, perhaps indie rock's very own diamond-backed terrapin. The most celebrated young wordsmith in rock'n roll today talks fulsomely, in fact, only in shapeless, curling sentences punctuated with "maybe... hmn.. yeah", an anecdotal wilderness sketching pictures as vague as a cloud. He is, though, simultaneously adorable: amenable, gentle, graceful, and as Northern as a 70s grandpa who literally greets you with "ey oop?".

"People think I'm a miserable bastard," he notes, cheerfully, "but it's just the way me face falls." Still profoundly private, if not as hermetically sealed as a vacuum-packed length of Frankfurter, his fante-shy reticence extends not only to his personal life (his four-year relationship with It-girl/TV presenter Alexa Chung, whom he never mentions) but to insider details generally. Take the Monkeys’ Hollywood high jinks documented above: not one word of it was described by Turner. Before Q was informed by his other Monkey bandmates, Turner’s anecdotal aversion unfolded like this:

Describe the lovely villa you were in. AT: "Well... we certainly had a... good view."

Of what? AT: "Well, we were up quite high."

The downtown LA lights going on forever? AT: "I dunno. It was definitely that thing of getting a bit of sort of sunshine. Is it vitamin D? If you can get vitamin D on your record, you've got a bit of a head start. So we'd get up and drive to the studio."

What were you driving? AT: "Nothing... spectacular. But yeah, we'd drive up the studio, spend all day there and sort of, y know, get back. To be honest... we had limited time. So we spent as much time as possible kind of getting into it, like, in the studio.

So your favourite adventures were what? AT: "Well, they were really… minimal. We were working out there!"

Any nightclubs or anything, perhaps? AT: "You really want the goss 'ere, don't you?"

Yes, please. AT: "I could make some up. Nah!"

And this was on the second time of asking. It's perhaps obvious: Alex Turner, one of the most prolific songwriters of his generation (four Monkeys albums and two EPs in five years, The Last Shadow Puppets side-project, a bewitching acoustic soundtrack for his actor/video director friend Richard Ayoade's feature-length debut Submarine), is dedicated only to the cause – of being the best he can possibly be. He simply remembers the songs much more than the somersaults.

Throughout 2009, Arctic Monkeys toured third album Humbug – the record mostly made in the Californian desert with Queens Of The Stone Age man-monolith Josh Homme – across the planet. While hardly some cranium-blistering opus, its heavier sonic meanderings considerably slowed the Arctic Monkeys' live sets and on 23 August 2009, Q watched them headline the Lowlands Festival, Holland and witnessed a hitherto unthinkable sight – swathes of perplexed Monkeys fans trudging away from the stage. With the sludge rock mood matching their cascading dude-rock hair it seemed obvious: they'd smoked way too much outrageously strong weed in the desert.

"Heheheh, yeah," responds Turner, unperturbed. "That's your theory. You probably weren't alone."

Back in the Strongroom Bar, Turner's arm is now nonchalantly draped along the back of a beaten-up brown leather sofa. He ponders his band's somewhat contrary reputation…

"I think starting the headline set at Reading with a cover of a Nick Cave tune perhaps was a bit contrary. D'youknowhat Imean?! But to be honest, that summer, at those festivals, we had a great time. And I know some fans enjoyed those sets 10 times more. And you can't just do, y’know, another Mardy Bum or whatever. Because how could you, really?"

With Humbug, notes Turner, "I went into corners I hadn't before, because I needed to see what were there," but by spring 2010 he wanted their fourth album to be "more song-based" and less lyrically "removed". He was "organised this time", studied "the good songwriters" (from Nick Cave, The Byrds and Leonard Cohen to country colossi Johnny Cash and Patsy Cline), discovered "the other three strings" on his guitar, and wrote 12 songs through the spring and summer of 2010, mostly in the fourth-floor New York flat he shared with Chung before the couple moved back to London late last summer (the New York MTV show It's On With Alexa Chung was cancelled after two seasons). The result: major-key melodies, harmonised singing and classic song structures.

At the same time he revisited the opposite extreme: bands such as Black Sabbath and The Stooges ("we wanted a few wig-outs as well"); he was also still heavily influenced by the oil-thick grinder rock of Josh Homme, who is clearly now a permanent Monkeys hero. After four months' rehearsals in London, on 8 January the Monkeys relocated to LA for five swift weeks of production and Homme came to visit, singing backing vocals on All My Own Stunts. Tequila was involved.

"Tequila is probably me favourite," manages Turner, by way of an anecdote. "But it takes a certain climate... It's not the same... in the rain. Yeah. [Looks to be contemplating a lyric] Tequila in the rain."

Vocally, he developed the caramel richness first unveiled on The Last Shadow Puppets' Scott Walker-esque The Age Of The Understatement, finding a crooner's vibrato. "Everything before was so tight,” he notes, clutching his neck. "Probably just through nerves. That's just not there any more." Suck It and See contains at least four of the most glittering, sing-along, world-class pop songs (and obvious singles) of Arctic Monkeys' career: the towering, clanging She's Thunderstorms, the summertime stunner The Hellcat Spangled Shalalala, the heavenly harmonised title track and the Echo & The Bunnymen-esque jangly pop of closer That's Where You're Wrong.

Elsewhere, in typically contrary "fashion", there's preposterous head-banger bedlam (Brick By Brick, the rollicking faux-heavy rock download they released in March "just for fun", featuring vocals by Helders; Don't Sit Down 'Cause I've Moved Your Chair, and Library Pictures). News arrives that the first single proper will be Don't Sit Down 'Cause I've Moved Your Chair. Q is perplexed. Brilliantly titled, certainly, but arriving after Brick By Brick, the new album will appear to the planet as some comedy pastiche metal album for 12-year-old boys.

You've got all these colossal, summery, indie-pop classics and you've gone for... The Chair? AT: [Laughing uproariously] "The Chair! I'm now calling it The Chair, that's cool. Well for once it weren't even our suggestion. It was Laurence's (Bell, Domino label boss). And I were, Fucking too right! He's awesome. It'd be good to get a bit of fucking rock'n'roll out there, won't it? It's riffs. It's loud. It's funny."

If you don't release The Hellcat Spangled Shalalala as a single I'm going round Domino to kick Laurence's "awesome" butt. AT: "I think it'll be the next one!"

The record's title, meanwhile, could've been more enigmatically original than the un-loved phrase Suck It and See. The band, struggling with ideas due to the opposing sonic moods, invented an inspiration-conjuring ruse: to think of new names for effects pedals in the style of Tom Wolfe, Turner being long enamoured with the American author's legendarily psychedelic books The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test and The Kandy-Kolored Tangerine-Flake Streamline Baby, "cos that just sounds awesome".

"There's the Big Muff pedal," he elaborates, "That’s the classic. I've got the Valve Slapper. And there's the Tube Screamer. So we came up with the Thunder Suckle Fuzz Canyon. And… wait till I assemble it in me mind… em… it'll come to me… The Blonde-O-Sonic Shimmer Trap. So we were going for summat like that."

A wasted opportunity?

"Nah. Because some of those things ended up in the lyrics anyway. Suck It and See was just easier."

Alex Turner, rock'n'roll's premier descriptive art-poet, still writes his lyrics long-hand in spiral-bound notebooks. "Writing lyrics is a craft that I've practised a bit now," he avers. "In me notebook it looks like sums. Theories. There's words and arrows going everywhere. There's always a few possibilities and I write the word 'OR' in a square."

For our most celebrated colloquial sketch-writer of the everyday observation (all betting pencils, boy slags and ice-cream van aggravations) the more successful he becomes, the less he orbits the ordinary. "I'm not struggling with that, to be honest," he decides. "In fact I'm enjoying writing lyrics much more than I did. Stories. Describing a picture. Um. There's quite a bit of weather and time in this one. Which is probably not reassuring. 'Oh God, he's writing about the weather.' Maybe leave that out!"

There are also some direct, funny, romantic observations: "That's not a skirt, girl, that's a sawn-off shotgun/And I only hope you've got it aimed at me..." (from the title track).

Some of your romantic quips, now, must be about Alexa. AT: "Right. Yeah. Definitely. Well... there's always been that side to our songs, when we weren't writing about... the fucking taxi rank. It's kind of inevitably... people you're with." [At the mention of Chung's name, Turner is visibly aggrieved, head sliding into his neck, terrapin-esque indeed.]

It must have been very grounding being in a proper relationship through all this madness. Because if you weren't, girls would be jumping all over your head. AT: "Em. Hmn. Well, of course that helps you to... I don't really know.. what the other way would be."

Does Alexa wonder if the lyrics are about her? AT: "Oh there's none of that. Yeah, no, there's no looking over the shoulder."

She must be curious, at least. "Maybe."

Did you ever watch Popworld? AT: [Nervous laughter] "Em! Now and again."

Did you ever see the episode where she helps Paul McCartney write a song about shoes? AT: "Ah, yeah I think so, maybe I did see that."

Well, if I was you, I'd have been thinking, "She's the one for me." AT: "Well. Yeah... maybe that would've... sealed the deal! Hmn. But maybe that wasn't when i got the ray of light. When was? Nah [buries head in hands]. I might have to go for a cigarette..."

Q can't torture him any more and joins him for a snout. Turner smokes Camels from a crumpled, sad, soft-pack and resembles a teenager again. As early song You Probably Couldn't See For The Lights But You Were Staring Straight At Me says, "Never tenser/Could all go a bit Frank Spencer…”

In January 2006, when Arctic Monkeys' Number 1 album Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not became the fastest-selling debut in UK history, inadvertently redefining the concept of autonomy and further imploding the decimated music industry (& wasn't their idea to be "the MySpace band", it was their fans': the Monkeys merely kick-started viral marketing by giving away demos at gigs), the 19- and 20-year-old Monkeys were terrible at fame. They weren't so much insurrectionary teenage upstarts as teenage innocents culturally traumatised by the peak-era fame democracy.

To their generation (born in the mid-'80s) fame was now synonymous with some-twat-off-the-telly a world of foaming tabloid hysteria where renown and celebrity meant, in fact, you were talentless. Hence their interview diffidence and receiving awards via videos dressed up as the Wizard OfOz and the Village People. Which only, ironically, made them even more celebrated and famous. (“That were a product of us just trying to hold onto the reins," thinks Turner today. "Being uncooperative.")

Q meets The Other Three one morning at 11am, in the well-appointed, empty bar of the Bethnal Green, Bast London hotel they're staying in (all three live in Sheffield, with their girlfriends, in their own homes). First to arrive is the industrious, sensible and cheerful Helders, crunching into a hangover-curing green apple. He has recovered from last year's boxing accident at the gym, which left his broken arm requiring a fitted plate. Now impressively purple-scarred, the break felt "interesting" and the doctor couldn't resist the one-armed drummer jest: "D'you like Def Leppard?"

Currently enjoying an enduring bromance with Diddy, he still doesn't feel famous, "it just doesn't feel that real, there's no paparazzi waiting for me to trip up." He and Turner, during the four-month rehearsals last year, became an accomplished roast dinner cooking duo for the band. "I reckon we could have us our own cookbook," he beams. "Pictures of us stirring, with a whisk."

O'Malley, an agreeable, twinkly-eyed 25-year-old with a strikingly deep voice and a winningly huge smile, is still coyly embarrassed by the interview process. A replacement for the departed original bass player Andy Nicholson in May 2006, he went from Asda shelf-filler to Glastonbury headliner in 13 months and still finds the Monkeys "a massive adventure". His life in Sheffield is profoundly normal – he's delighted that his new home since last October has an open-hearth fireplace: "Me parents had electric bars." He has also discovered cooking. “I’m just a pretty shit-hot housewife, most of the time," he smiles. "I cook stews, fish combinations, curries, chillies. I made a beef pho noodle soup the other day, Vietnamese, I surprised meself, had some mates round for that."

Recently, at his dad's 50th birthday bash, the party band, made up of family and friends, insisted he join them onstage "for ...The Dancefloor. So I were up there [mimes playing bass, all sheepish] and it were the wrong pitch, they didn't know the words or 'owt, going, Makin eyes... er..." He has no extra-curricular musical ambitions. "I'm happy just playing bass," he smiles. "I've never had the skill of doing songs meself. It'd be shit!"

Cook, 25, is still spectacularly embarrassed by the interview process. He perches upright, with a fixed nervous smile, newly shorn of the beard and ponytail he sported in LA: "Rockin' a pone, yeah, because I could get away with it." With his classic preppy haircut and dapper green military coat (from London's swish department store, Liberty), he looks like a handsome '40s film star. (Turner deems Cook "the band heartbreaker" and had a word with him post-LA: "I said to him, Come on, mate, you've got to get that beard shaved off. Get the girls back into us. Shift some posters.")

His life in Sheffield is also profoundly normal. He still plays Sunday League football with his local pub team, The Pack Horse FC (position, left back), remains in his long-term relationship with page-three-model-turned-make-up-artist Katie Downes and "potters about" at home, refusing to describe said home, "cos I'll get burgled".

A tiler by trade, he always vowed, should the Monkeys sign a deal, that he'd throw his trowel in a Sheffield river on his last day of work. "I never did fling me trowel," he confirms. "Probably still in me shed." He's never considered what his band represents to his generation. "I'd go insane thinking about it, I'm pretty good at not thinking about it… Oh God. I'm terrible at this!"

Back in the Strongroom Bar, Alex Turner is cloudily describing his everyday life. "I just keep meself to meself," he confounds. He mostly stays indoors and his perfect night in with Alexa is "watching loads of Sopranos. And doing roast dinners".

No longer spindle-limbed, he attends a gym and has handsomely well-defined arms – "You have to look after yourself."

Suddenly, Crying Lightning from Humbug rumbles over the bar stereo. "Wow. How about that? I was quite happy the other morning cos Brick By Brick were on the round-up goals on Soccer AM. It's still exciting when that happens. It was like Brick By Brick is real."

He spends his days writing music, "listening to records", and recommends Blues Run The Game by doomed '60s minstrel Jackson C Frank ("who's that lass?... Laura Marling, she did a cover recently), a simple, acoustic, deep and regretful stunner about missing someone on the road.

Lyrically, he cites as an example of greatness the Nick Cave B-side Little Empty Boat [from ‘97 single Into My Arms ], a comically sinister paean to a sexual power struggle: "Your knowledge is impressive and your argument is good/But I am the resurrection babe and you're standing on my foot."

"I need a hobby," he suddenly decides. "I'd like to learn another language." Since his mum is a German teacher (his dad teaches music), surely he can speak some German? "I know how to ask somebody if they've had fun at Christmas." Go on, then. "Nah!"

Where Turner's creative gifts stem from remains a contemporary rock'n'roll mystery; he became a fledgling songwriter at 16, after the gift of a guitar at Christmas from his parents. An only child, did his folks, perhaps, foresee artistic greatness? "I doubt it!" he balks. "Cos I didn't. I wasn't... a show kid." Like the others, he doesn't analyse the past, or the future.

"You can't constantly be thinking about what's happened," he reasons, "it's just about getting on with it." The elaborate pinky ring he now constantly wears, however, a silver, gold and ruby metal-goth corker featuring the words DEATH RAMPS is a permanent reminder of he and his best friends’ past. The Death Ramps is not only a Monkeys pseudonym and B-side to Teddy Picker, but a place they used to ride their bikes in Sheffield as kids.

"Up in the woods near where we lived," he nods. "Just little hills. But when you're eight years old they're death ramps." The ring was custom made by a friend of his, who runs top-end rock'n'roll jewellery emporium The Great Frog near London's Carnaby Street. Ask Turner why he thinks the chase between his writing and speaking eloquence is quite so mesmerisingly vast and he attempts a theory.

"Well, writing isn't the same as speaking," he muses. "Not for me. I seem to struggle more and more with... conversation. Talking onstage... I can't do it any more. Hmn. I'll have to work on that."

The ever-helpful Helders has a better theory.

"Since he's been writing songs," he ponders, “It seems like he’s always thinking about that. So even when he’s talking to you now, he’s thinking about the next thing that rhymes with a word. Even when he’s driving. We joke he’s a bad driver, his focus is never 100 per cent on what he’s doing. Which is good for us cos it means he’s got another 12 songs up his sleeve. I think music must be the easiest way for him to be concise and get everything out. Otherwise his head would explode.”

The Shoreditch.com photo studios, 18 March. Alex Turner, today, is more ethereally distracted than ever, transfixed by the studio iPod, playing Led Zeppelin, The Rolling Stones, a version of I’d Rather Go Blind. Occasionally, he’ll completely lose his conversational thread, “Um. I’ve dropped a stitch.”

The first to arrive for Q’s photoshoot, he greets his incoming bandmates with enormous hugs (and also hugs them goodbye). Today, Q feels it’s pointless poking its pickaxe of serious enquiry further into Turner’s vacuum-packed soul and wonders if he’ll play, instead, a daft game. It’s called Popworld Questions, as first posed by someone he knows rather well.

“Oh, OK. Let’s do it,” he blinks, now perched in an empty dressing room. He then vigorously shakes his head, “Um…I’ve gotta snap back into it.”

Here, then, are some genuine “Alexa Chung on Popworld” questions (2006-2007), as originally posed to Matt Willis, Amy Winehouse, Robbie Williams, Pussycat Dolls, Kaiser Chiefs and Diddy.

Why do indie bands wear such tight jeans? AT: “Um. I supposed they do. They haven’t always. When we first were playing I was definitely in flares. You need to be quite tall to get the full effect, though. So, that's why this indie band wears such tight jeans, cos we've not got the legs for flares."

What makes you tick in the sexy department? AT: "Wow. Pass. What do I find most attractive in a woman? Something in the head? That's definitely a requirement. Well... Hmn. I'm struggling."

Tell us about all the lovely groupies. AT: "No!"

If dogs had human hands instead of paws, would you consider trying to teach them to play the piano? AT: "Absolutely. I'd teach Hey Jude."

How many plums d'you think you can comfortably fit in one hand? AT: "They're not very big. [Holds small, pale, girly hand up for inspection] It's a shame. Probably three. Diddy only managed two? Maybe not then. I can carry a lot of glasses at once, though. If they're small ones I can do four."

Are you cool? AT: "Not as much as I'd like to be. There's this clip where Clint Eastwood is on a talkshow and he gets asked, Everybody thinks of you as defining cool, what d'you think about that? And he gets his cigs out, takes one out, flicks it into his mouth, lights it and says, I have no idea what you're talking about."

Here, Turner locates his Camels soft-pack and attempts to do a Clint Eastwood. He flicks one upwards towards his mouth. And misses. Flicks another. And misses. "Third time lucky?" He misses. "I'll get it the next time." And succeeds. "Hey. Fourth time. Don't put that in! So there you go. I'm four steps away from where I wanna be."

Thank you very much for joining me here on Popworld, here's my clammy hand again. There it is, let it slip, hmmn. You can let go now. AT: "OK! Were you a Popworld fan, then? It was funny. Cool. What were we talking about, before?"

Blimey, Alex. What must you be like when you're completely stoned out of your head? AT: "Stoned? What d'you mean, cos I seem like that anyway? Yeah. A lot of people... tell me I'm a bit... dreamy. But I like the idea of that. Of being somewhere else."

Two days earlier, Turner had contemplated what he wanted from all this, in the end. Many seconds later he gave his deceptively ambitious answer.

"I just wanna write better songs," he decided. "And better lyrics. I just definitely wanna be good at it. Hmn. Yeah.”

—

RUFUS BLACK: AKA Matt Helders, on his ongoing bromance with Diddy

Matt Helders has known preposterous rap titan Diddy since they met in Miami in 2008. “He goes, Arctic Monkeys! Then he said summat about a B-side and I was like, He's not lying! I just thought, This is funny, I'm gonna go with this for a while." Last October Diddy texted Helders, suggesting he play drums with his Diddy Dirty Money band on Friday Night With Jonathan Ross, to give his own drummer a day off. “I were bowling with me girifriend at the time. In Sheffield, on a Sunday." On the day of recording, says Helder, "We had a musical director. That were one of the maddest times of my life. Next day Diddy said, Why don't you just stay? Come along with me. So I went everywhere with him." Diddy had "a convoy of cars" and made sure Helders was always in his. "He'd stop his car and go, Where's Matt? You're coming with me! So I'd get in his car. Just me, him, his security, driver." Diddy, by now, had given him a pseudonym - Rufus Black. "He kept saying, I don't wanna fuck up your image. And I'm, I don't think it's gonna do me any harm!" He stayed in Diddy's spectacularly expensive hotel. Some weeks later, Helders almost returned to the Dirty Money drumstool for a gig in Glasgow. "But we were rehearsing in London. I were like, I might come, how are you getting there? And he were like, Jet. Jump on t’jet with me. But I had to stay in Bethnal Green instead.”

Love’s young dream: Diddy (left) with Helders

[daisyblog]

We Made It

Our Story Masterlist Summary: YN and Harry's unexpected suprise.

For a week or so, Harry had noticed some changes with YN. She was crying at pretty much everything, like the other night tears were streaming down her face because they’d ran out of her favourite chocolate. 

In the last few days Harry had noticed that YN was saying she was tired a lot, almost sleeping the minute her head hit the pillow. She was complaining of having headaches and feeling nauseas. 

At first they thought it may have been a bug or something and her body needing a break. But something no one else would have noticed, but Harry knew YN’s body better than he knew his own, was that her breasts looked bigger. And that’s when the thoughts started swirling around in his head. 

At first he thought he may have been over reacting, but as the days passed and the symptoms had only gotten worse, he had a feeling he was right. 

Harry and YN had just finished packing for their weekend trip up North to watch Louis’ shows in Sheffield and Manchester. YN practically collapsed on the bed, complaining how tired she was, despite the fact that they hadn’t done much knowing how busy their weekend was about to be. 

Harry was in the en suite, and as he finished washing his hands at the sink he quickly looked to see if YN still had the tests in the cupboard. He was hesitant to say anything but it had been on his mind for a while, and he needed to know. 

“Hey babe!” Harry walked into their bedroom, with the test in his hand. “I think you need to take this.”

Harry held the test out towards her, but YN froze at the sight of a  pregnancy test. “What..why-why do-“.

“Babe, you’re feelings sick, you’re struggling to stay awake” Harry began to list the few symptoms, before adding another with a cheeky grin “And…those” he gestured towards her chest “are fucking massive”.

Even in this situation, YN couldn’t help but laugh at Harry’s cheeky comment, a loud giggle leaving her lips. “Do you really think I could be?”.

Harry shrugged his shoulders, “There’s only one way to find out”.

After peeing on the two sticks, YN sat them on the counter in front of them both. Taking YN into his arms, Harry left a soft loving peck to her temple. He had deja vu from when they had been in this situation before, waiting for the results of their future.

Breaking the silence, Harry’s timer on his phoned buzzed, letting them know that the three minutes was up. Not being able to wait any longer, they both reached for a stick each.

Both not believing what they were looking at, their eyes found each others. Eyes wide, mixed with excitement and nerves. “I’m pregnant”.

“We’re having a baby!” Harry pulled YN into his arms, holding her tight and covering her face with kisses, giggles leaving her lips as he did.

Almost like all the emotions had hit her at once, tears threatened to spill from her eyes. “I feel so overwhelmed.” YN admitted as she wiped the tear that slipped down her cheek.

“Hey, it’s okay…it’s normal to feel all these emotions.” Harry reached to wipe her cheek as another tear appeared. “I am so so happy…but I am absolutely fucking terrified”.

“You don’t need to be, you’re going to be the best Dad to this little one” YN complimented, his dimples appearing at her words. 

“And you’re going to be the best Mum.” Harry spoke, moving a loose piece of hair from her face. “Because you literally had the best.”

At his words, the tears poured. YN always knew how hard it would be if she were ever to become a Mum without her own by her side, but the reality of it had it her suddenly. She remembers Lottie feeling the same way and Phoebe, who too was currently pregnant. But now she see’s how Lottie’s light is back on and that’s all down to Lucky. 

For the rest of the night, Harry and YN laid together under the sheet, talking, crying and wondering who the little life was hiding away in her tummy. 

They had discussed wanting to keep it a secret until they had been for their scan and knew their little one was healthy and how far along YN was. But they had agreed on telling one person each about their news. It hadn’t taken them long to decide on who their person was going to be.

---

YN would have loved nothing more but to run to her Mum and share the news because again, her Mum would have been the best Nana. She had seen first hand how much she loved Freddie but sadly she accepted that would never be able to have that moment. She knew her Mum was by her side everyday, she could feel her and she knew she had sent her this little baby. 

So who else would YN turn to? Louis of course. Louis was not only YN’s brother, but her best friend too. They were one of a kind for siblings, growing up they bickered like any brother and sister would but as they got older they realised how important they were to each other. Louis protected her and YN worshiped the ground he walked on. Louis was the person YN looked to for advice, or to share an achievement with and the person who she wanted to go to when times were good and not so good. 

They had decided to share their news with Louis at his Sheffield show. They had travelled up the morning of the show and stopping at her grandparents house because that’s where they were staying that evening. YN found it hard not to let their little secret slip to her Nan, especially after she hugged her and the older woman said “There’s something different about you…you’re extra happy.”.

To be able to see Louis before everyone arrived, Harry and YN headed to the arena before the rest of her family as they were still waiting for Lottie, Lewis and Lucky to arrive. 

They had found Louis in his dressing room enjoying a few moments of silence, before the busy night ahead. The sound of the door opening caused Louis head to turn and his smile immediately showed.

“Oh here they are, c’mere” Louis stood from his place and motioned for YN to him. Wrapping his arms around her, swaying slightly, telling her how much he’d missed her. “Well someone’s chirpy today.”

“Fook off Lou” YN laughed as she sat down in the seat that Louis was just using. Louis and Harry sitting down on the sofa opposite.

“Excited for tonight?” Harry asked Louis, knowing exactly how he was feeling. But it was a nice feeling knowing Harry got to be apart of the crowd tonight and a fan, instead of the one entertaining. 

“I’m fookin’ buzzin’ man…just can’t wait to get out there.” Louis spoke quickly, the excitement surrounding him and evident in his tone.

“I have the best idea!” YN announced, emphasising the word best. Both boys turning their heads with unimpressed expressions, wondering what she was going to suggest. “You should both sing a One Direction so-“.

Louis interrupted her idea before she could finish. “And this is the reason why I kicked you out of the group chat you made for us”.

“Yeh that was fookin’ rude.” YN bit back, Harry shaking his head knowing that this could go back and forth all day. Instead picking up the gift bag that they had brought with them. “Babe, why don’t you give this to Louis?” He suggested, trying to change the topic. 

Taking the bag from Harry, she passed it to Louis with no further explanation. Louis looked between the pair, a frown written all over his face because he didn’t understand why they were giving him a gift. “Whot’s this for?”.

“Just open it!” YN smiled, encouraging her brother to open the box. She was excited for Louis’ reaction, but at the same time nervous because his opinion meant the most to her.

Louis reached in the bag and lifted out a plain white box, still looking at his sister and Harry with a frown. As he opened the box, he was met with a card and what he knew was a plain beige baby grow. Louis stared at the words, YN and Harry eager for his reaction. 

“No fookin’ way!” Louis eyes found YN. “You’re not!”. 

YN nodded softly, “I am”.

“I can’t believe it…fookin’ ‘ell Nan and Grandad need a bigger house for Christmas’ don’t they?” Louis joked at the realisation that their house was already full, and now two of his sisters were pregnant. 

“Are you happy?” YN asked, a spot of nervousness in her voice. Something Harry or Louis didn’t see often. 

“Happy…I’m fookin’ buzzin’ Tiny!” Louis was quick to wrap his arms around his sister once more. “You’re gonna be the best Mum and you deserve this more than anyone!”.

At his words, YN hugged Louis tighter as the tears ran down her cheeks. Those words meant the most coming from Louis because she knew it was from the heart. 

“And you c’mere man.” Louis gestures towards Harry, both pulling each other in for a brotherly hug. “Congratulations man…it’s the best feeling in the world and you’re gonna be the best Dad”.

“Thanks mate” Harry squeezed Louis and tapped his hand on his back, again appreciating the kind words.

---

It was no secret that Harry was a mama’s boy. Anne absolutely adored her children and vice versa. She always showed so much love, thought and kindness to everyone around her. Anne was the person that Harry turned to for everything, from happy times to sad times, she was his go to person. Since the passing of her Mum, she had taken YN under her arms like she was one of her own, giving her the motherly love she dearly missed. So obviously Harry wanted to tell his Mum the exciting news.

After watching Louis show last night, they had all hung out backstage eating pizza and very much enjoying some family time. But the next morning, Harry and YN travelled to Anne’s to spend the day with her, and to tell her the news, before they headed to Manchester to Louis’ show, Anne included. 

Anne greeted them both with a warm cuddle, as she opened the front door, welcoming them in. Like every time Harry came home, he went straight to the fridge to see what he could find. Anne made them all a cup of tea whilst they chatted. 

As they all sat in the cosy living room, the fire burning in the background. Anne looked at YN with a soft smile. “Are you alright my love, you look exhausted?” Noticing the dark circles that sat beneath her eyes.

YN glanced at Harry, knowing that this would probably the best time to tell her the news. Harry coughed into his hand, clearing his throat as a smile threatened to appear. “Uh, Mum, we’re…we have some news”.

Anne looked worried, especially because for once she couldn’t read Harry or YN’s expressions. “You’re scaring me”.

Harry and YN smiled at each other, knowing that once the words are spoken, Anne was going to be ecstatic. “Well… you know how Gemma’s pregnant?” Harry spoke the words casually, a smile threatening to show.

“Yes?” Anne’s eyes flicked between Harry and YN. “Wait…are you?”. At the realisation, her hands covered her mouth, hiding her shocked expression. YN and Harry laughing and smiling at her reaction, already knowing how much love Anne was going to give to their baby. “Are you…you’re pregnant?”.

With a smile on her lips, her cheeks hurting from the action, YN nodded. Anne got up from her seat and pulled YN into her arms, as tears ran down both their cheeks at the special moment. After hugging Harry and getting emotional again at the thought of her own baby with his own baby, Anne sat down in her seat as she rubbed underneath her eyes. 

“Oh I’m so happy, I can’t believe it” Anne repeated throughout the day, still in shock that she was not only going to be a Grandmother, but a Grandma to two little babies. Although she had agreed to keep the news to herself, she knew it was going to be difficult not to shout it from the roof tops.

Harry had always been protective over YN since they began dating, especially when it came to being out in public. But Anne doesn’t miss the way he’s right behind her on her every move, as they walk through the back entrance of the arena. The way he hold her hand a little tighter or how tense his shoulders get when someone hugs YN a light too tight. Anne can only put that down to the precious cargo YN is currently carrying. 

But what brought a tear to Anne’s eye was when she saw Harry’s hand discreetly on YN’s tummy, as he hugged her from behind whilst Louis sang “‘cause we made it”. 

They really had made it, and now it was their turn for a little happiness. It was a bittersweet time for Anne because she wished a special person was standing by her side to share this special moment with. 

Tag List: @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @harrys-flower @platinumbarbie143 @frickin-bats @harrysbbyh0ney @chronicallybubbly @goldensunflowe-r  @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @kaverichauhan @peterholland04 @panicattheuc @or-was-it-just-a-dream @hittiesontour @bunnyharold @fanfictioncafe @lilfreakjez @iamahallucinationnn @theekyliepage @indierockgirrl @buckybarnessimpp @ashleighsss @jerseygirlinca @fake-coolbeans @itsmytimetoodream

[stardustloserdoll]

cigarette with a number on it

“excuse me. sorry for bothering you but have you got a light?” i looked over to see a guy with shaggy hair standing next to me with a cigarette dangling from his lips. nervously playing with the chain around his neck.

“i do.” i fumbled in my pocket for the lighter, handing it over to him. he smiled taking it from me, flicking on the flame holding it up to the cigarette. the light from the flame slightly illuminating his face in the dark pub. he was cute. he took a drag from his cigarette before exhaling a cloud of smoke into the air. “thank you. everyone here looks scary…but then i saw you and you seemed more approachable.” he chuckled handing my lighter back. i laughed placing my lighter back into my pocket. “no problem.”

he leaned against the bar and continued smoking his cigarette, occasionally turning his head to look at me. “what’s your name?” he asked, “y/n.” he held out his hand for me to shake. “alex. lovely to meet you.” he said, the corner of his lips curling into a smile. i shook his hand “nice to meet you too.” we both stared at each other holding onto each others hand for a while. he cleared his throat dropping his hand. “im gonna head outside to finish this. wanna join?” he asked gesturing to the door. “yeah sure.”

as we both stepped outside we leaned against the wall not uttering a word to each other. i took out my box of cigarettes, grabbing a stick and lighting it up taking a long drag. “so.” he started, tapping the cigarette. “im guessing you’re not from around here.” he smiled holding the cigarette up to his lips “aw what gave it away.” i replied, making us both laugh. he moved closer, our shoulders brushing against each other. “what brings you to sheffield?”

“im here for a business trip.” i said blowing smoke. “you liking it here?” he asked, with curiosity in his tone. “yeah it’s nice. i just wish i had friends to go out with. it gets kinda lonely.” he hummed running a hand through his hair “well..now you have one friend.” he smiled, i smiled back feeling a blush creeping on my cheeks.

we continued talking, and alex told me some places to visit while i was here in sheffield. like the best places to eat and places that had beautiful scenery. we also got to know more about each other in the span of a few minutes. he suddenly stopped talking, mumbling a ‘sorry’ as he dug into his pocket to get his phone out reading something. he placed his phone back into his pocket and threw the cigarette down crushing it with his boot. “sorry. my friends are looking for me, i should prolly get back.”

i shook my head “it’s okay don’t worry. i gotta head out too, i have a busy day tomorrow.” i smiled finishing my cigarette. “thank you again for the cigarette.” i nodded my head “of course.”

i hesitated for a moment and reached for my pack again, opening it up to him. “one for the road?” he grinned taking one, “there’s a little something on there for you.” i smiled pointing to the side of the cigarette. as i began walking away i looked back seeing he was looking at the cigarette. a smile growing on his face, he looked up up sending a wave before stepping back inside.

after a few seconds i got a text message reading “hey it’s alex :D”

[blessedwithabadomen]

in love with the mess - day ten

summary : Aubrey is going on tour and, for once, she's decided to focus on having as much fun as possible. Oli can be a little shit but he does nothing short of adore Audrey and... well, maybe Noah a little, too. Noah likes the flirting, as long as no one gets too close, emotionally. But what will happen when the three of them take it too far?

content : smut (p in v, dirty talk, oral (f and m receiving), hints at anal play), angst, fluff

length : 10k

tags (let me know if you want to be tagged!) : @veronicaphoenix @cookiesupplier @lma1986 @jilliemiw86 @bngurngheart @lacktoesandtoddlerants @narcissisticbehavior81 @flowery-mess @shilohrosechicken @justeli6 @starvingarsyn @floatinglikeaswan @blacksoul-27 @somebodyels3 @kageyasma @spikeisdaddy @broken0mens

a/n : Hope you enjoy this one!! Comments and reblogs keep the writer writing 💕

•••

day ten

I was getting tired of unexpected knocks on my hotel room door. Especially when it was much too early and I was already rushing to get ready after something had prevented me from properly packing my suitcase last night. Now I had mere minutes until I needed to be downstairs with the rest of the crew and the band because Bring Me had an awfully early bus call to get to Sheffield. I couldn’t blame them for that - it was home, after all. Most of them were using the day off to visit friends and family, but Oli and, as far as I knew Matt too, were heading for the store for the day.

I ripped the door open as much as I could under the weight to find none other than Oli himself standing in the hallway, an amused smirk on his face.

“I don’t know how well you slept last night, but this hotel really has to work on soundproofing their walls,” he chuckled, letting himself in just past the doorway as I stood frozen. “‘Cause I was definitely wide awake hearing two people have the fuck of their lives. Like, holy shit, staying quiet definitely wasn’t part of their vocabulary at all. Did you hear them at all?”

“I…”

“Not gonna lie, it sounded pretty hot, I was almost a little tempted to, you know.”

He raised his eyebrows at me as he motioned toward his crotch.

“Oli-”

“Did you really not hear anything?”

The bathroom door opened so abruptly I almost jumped at the sound. Noah had freshened up but was still very much in yesterday’s clothes and extremely sleepy. I could basically see the gears turning in Oli’s head as he looked back and forth between us.

“That was you! Oh you dirty, dirty kids,” he laughed. Noah looked thoroughly confused, still standing in the doorway of the bathroom. Oli gave another chuckle, but something was amiss. I’d known him for years. I knew Oli’s teasing face, the way he sounded, the way his eyes crinkled in earnest. This wasn’t it. And it kept me silent, somehow.

“Well, bus call’s soon, so no time for a second round, eh?” His voice didn’t match his words. I couldn’t quite figure it out just yet, but it made me feel uncomfortable and awkward. Noah seemed to think the same as he stayed suspiciously silent, toying with the hem of his shirt.

“Yeah, no, I’ll… I’ll catch you downstairs, yeah?” I finally managed to vomit out. Oli simply nodded, raised his hand in what I assumed should be a form of goodbye and then vanished back into the hallway.

It was only when the door clicked back into its lock that Noah moved next to me. Grabbing whatever he had left in the room - he briefly paused as he saw the bottle of Hennessey, but ultimately decided not to touch it - he got ready as if his bus call was imminent.

“I keep fucking up,” he said, more to himself than anything else as he moved past me to put on his shoes.

“Noah, you’re-”

“No, I am. It’s- it’s fine, I just need to-”

My hand on his arm stopped him just before he reached the door. He looked so conflicted, so torn, that it broke my heart along with his. I wanted to tell him it was going to be okay, that we could be okay, that Oli would be okay, but even in my head it sounded like a lie. I couldn’t promise him something like that. All I could do was allow myself to be his for the taking if he ever decided to, well, take me on.

I pulled him down with a hand on his neck and put my lips on it and I hoped it would tell him everything I couldn’t say.

•••

Oli wasn’t waiting for me when I arrived downstairs. He wasn’t in the parking lot either. Or downstairs in the bus, or in the lounge. But the curtain of his bunk was pulled tightly shut and it worried me beyond belief. I wasn’t quite sure what exactly had caused him to withdraw, but my brain was providing me with a multitude of options, spinning through all of them at lighting speed as if it could make me decide on one of them, and it made me dizzy.

Especially because simply pulling away was so out of character for him. I’d expected him to make a fuss, pick a fight, get mean, argue with either me or Noah or both of us at such a volume that the rest of the hotel voluntarily evacuated, but none of that had happened. Not even a tiny remark shot our way. Not a single item thrown around the bus in frustration.

Either way, I was just so over not communicating.

Aubrey u up?

I was almost shaking waiting for his reply. It seemed silly, texting him the very thing he’d texted me that first night before the tour had really started, but I hoped he would recognise it and not consider my joking offensive when he was dealing with… something. When my phone displayed a new message, I almost threw it away in surprise, as if I’d been expecting radio silence.

Oli Is this a bootycall?

So - he didn’t hate me. And he remembered. It was a relief, really. With a slight smile playing on my face, I walked back towards his bunk and pulled the curtain back. He didn’t noticeably react, simply kept lying with his back turned to me. He did, however, shuffle forward just the tiniest bit and I took it as an invitation to climb in and shut the curtain behind me.

It was a tight fit, both of us in his bunk, especially since Oli had gotten noticeably more buff than the last time we’d done this on a tour, but with a bit of rearranging and me spooning him closely, we made it work. I placed my hand over his heart, feeling it beat underneath my fingertips, so fast it was almost concerning.

“Hey,” I whispered, quietly, as if anyone else could overhear us, as if it would matter if they did. Oli didn’t answer in words, but put his hand over mine, stroking the skin delicately. “Talk to me.”

“Don’t wanna,” he mumbled, like a stubborn little child. I couldn’t see his face, but I imagined him to be pouting as he spoke. Was this better than the explosions we usually faced when he got mad? I decided yes.

“Oli,” I replied, hoping his name in my mouth would sound vaguely scolding. “We talked about that. Communication and all that? Come on. I can’t bear it when you withdraw like this.”

He sighed so heavily it moved my body along with his.

“It’s embarrassing though.”

“And you can blush all you like, but you’re going to tell me. I’m not even looking at you. It literally won’t get better than this. And I won’t let you off the hook any time soon, I hope you know that.”

He grumbled for a little bit longer but I sat it out, knowing he’d come around sooner or later. The sooner was reached a lot more quickly than expected. I had been well prepared to spend most of the drive to Sheffield here, in silence, just holding him and waiting it out.

“It’s stupid, really, but seeing you with Noah this morning, knowing what you’d done…” He took a deep breath. I didn’t interrupt him even though the thoughts were already running through my head at high speed again. “I don’t mind that you fucked, you know. It just feels like… like he got something from you before I did and… it makes me feel like a leftover. Like the two of you don’t need me.”

I desperately tried to wrap my mind around what Oli was telling me. He was jealous that Noah got to have me first? That I’d decided - although it wasn’t much of a planned decision, but he couldn’t know that - to sleep with him before I considered Oli? That maybe I desired the other man more? Wanted him closer, in a more intimate setting, than Oli?

“And I know we’ve, like, done stuff before, all of us,” he continued. It seemed like now that he’d started, he barely managed to stop. “But I don’t just sleep with anyone and, fuck, this sounds so stupid, but I thought it might be special, sleeping with you for the first time, sleeping with both of you, and now I feel like I’m not really part of it anymore…”

He wasn’t just thinking about Noah being the first one to sleep with me. He was also thinking about me being the first one to sleep with Noah. I gave myself some time to think during the moments he stayed quiet. How would I have felt if they’d gotten together first? Leaving me as the odd one out, the one that hadn’t been present when they shared this new level of intimacy.

I probably would have felt rejected too.

“If it helps at all, neither of us planned to have sex last night,” I explained. “It was very much a spur of the moment thing after he crashed at mine because he’d been drinking. I think… I think I would have preferred it with you around as well.”

I hadn’t realised it until the words left my mouth, but it was true. Sleeping with Noah had been amazing - but if we’d shared that experience as a threesome, all sober and fully awake, it would have been phenomenal. I had no doubt about that.

“And you’re not second best. Not at all. You and Noah… I have so much love for both of you, in such different and such similar ways all at once. I could never prefer him over you, just like I could never prefer you over him. I’m sorry that it happened like this and that you had to find out like that.”

I didn’t know what else to say. How else to make him understand. I couldn’t take back what had happened. I couldn’t magically turn back time and turn Noah down, or make Oli appear in the room too. I could only try to make up for it moving forward. And I planned to.

“Dinner’s still on tonight, right? The three of us?”

Oli nodded. I wouldn’t have noticed if we’d not been so close. I pressed a kiss into his dark locks.

“We’ll make it up to you. Noah and I. Promise. Will you let us?”

It took a moment of Oli struggling for me to realise he was attempting to turn around. I almost slid off the edge, already imagining myself falling to the floor in the little walkway between bunks, but Oli quickly shifted and put an arm around me in the most complicated way to keep me safe. There was a lot more shuffling, trying to keep our limbs intact and our hair from getting caught up somewhere, until we settled on a final position, our legs intertwined, foreheads pressed against each other.

“As if I could ever resist you, Aubrey. You and Noah, both.”

•••

As it turned out, I didn’t have all that much to do when I travelled to the store with Oli and Mat. Most of the organisational matters had been taken care of by the local workers, those in charge of Drop Dead and everything around it, and I was barely much more than a glorified babysitter as I ushered Oli back and forth to where he was needed.

At least his mood had improved considerably. I hoped I had played some sort of part in it. When he talked to the people around him, waved to a couple of fans, studied the designs he’d helped with, I knew it wasn’t a facade. He was truly happy here, and I caught myself thinking that maybe he could be truly happy with me and Noah, too.

“I don’t really know how long this will take, but it might be a while, so if you want to leave, I don’t know, walk through the city, get a nap, you really don’t have to stay here,” Oli told me when I managed to catch up with him. I knew he meant it. He wasn’t one for playing games like that. “I can text you and Noah the address of the place I reserved at, and the time. How’s that sound?”

I agreed, not because I was bored but because I felt wholly unneeded and kept standing in the way. The question of what I was going to do with my time was answered much quicker than expected as I ran into Becky on the way out.

“You know, I think we get a discount on this stuff. And if not I’ll make Oli give you one,” I grinned as I watched her flip through some of the shirts.

“Thank god, because this shit is expensive,” she replied, immediately letting go of the fabric in ther hands. “What do you say we go for an equally as overpriced coffee instead?”

“I do love me a good dose of caffeine,” I admitted.

Becky held out her arm for me to take it and I complied with a giggle, leaving the store with her and wandering the streets, making small talk as we tried to find a coffee shop to our liking. When we finally located one, ordered and sat down, I felt all the exhaustion I’d been carrying with me take over. I sank deeper into the comfortable armchair, wondering if it’d be inappropriate to get in a little cat nap.

“Looks like Oli is keeping you up. Or was that Noah?”

I briefly panicked, wondering if, somehow, word had gotten around that I’d slept with Noah.

“You’re hanging out with both of them a lot. Now I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted trying to keep my one man at home happy, never mind two. And those two out of everyone! You truly picked the most exhausting ones to be friends with.”

I breathed a sigh of relief, hoping it wasn’t too visible and took a quick sip of coffee to hide my embarrassment.

“Yeah, they're… a handful. But I doubt it's much better for them, I'm sure I can be just as exhausting,” I laughed. “So you got a man at home, hm? Is he gonna visit on tour or has he already and I've simply missed him?”

“Oh no, he's going to be around in Dublin. It's where we live, actually. Got abducted to the other isle by an Irishman. In my defence though, he looks like Hozier's younger brother and he's just as tall, so really, how could I have resisted!”

“Tall men, eh,” I agreed, moving my cup to cheers with hers.

“Tall men, indeed.”

We stayed quiet for a moment, both of us lost in thoughts, but I wasn't a fan of the silence for long.

“Are you looking forward to going home then? We only have four more dates left, right?”

“So much. Unfortunately it's not for long. I'm leaving again on the 26th for the Bad Omens tour.”

“You’re heading on their tour with them?” This was news to me. I was well aware Bad Omens were still going to be in Europe for a while and I had absolutely been staring at those tour dates as they were selling out one by one, tempted to make a trip somewhere to see them headline, but with no work lined up it was impossible to plan. The fact that Becky had been hired by them hadn’t been relayed to me.

“Yeah, apparently they were looking for someone local and Bring Me suggested me since I’d already worked a few shows with them before. No rest for the wicked, eh!”

“No rest indeed,” I sighed. I wished I wouldn’t be getting any rest either. Maybe I should beg someone for a merch job on that tour. They probably had all their positions filled, but I was getting desperate at this point. Being away would also give me some time to find a new place to live. But did I have the guts to straight up beg for it, knownig I’d probably only get it because they took pity on me and not because they really needed me?

“So, you’re basically in a long-distance relationship then, with you being away so much, aren’t you?”

Becky exhaled into her cup of coffee. “We make it work, you know? It was tough in the beginning. He has a very steady, reliable, boring day job and I’m just all over the continent but we’ve accepted that about each other. We check in and I usually video call him in the evening. And, well you can get creative with what you do on video, too.”

I almost spewed out the coffee at her remark, knowing fully well by the tone in her voice what she was referring to. The wiggling eyebrows sealed the deal.

“Sorry,” she giggled. “Couldn’t help myself.”

“By all means, I’m glad you’re having a good sex life still.”

I put the cup back on the table. I wasn’t sure how long it had been empty for, but I knew I’d been holding onto it for no obvious reason.

“Did he ever mind? Knowing that being with you would mean being away from you for a long time?” I paused for a moment, suddenly feeling self-conscious about my questions. “Sorry, you don’t have to answer that, I’m just sitting here interrogating you like you’re on trial.”

“Oh, don’t worry about, darling. Ask all you want. For us, it was never a question, really. What can I say? We fell hard and fast. I could have moved to Australia and he would have made it work.”

I didn’t know why I felt like crying. I tried to hide the tears that were on the edge of emerging by organising the items on the little table in front of us until they had straightened out and seemed in order. Maybe that was more suspicious than me getting emotional.

“So, it’s all about love, isn’t it,” I said, trying hard not to sniffle. “As long as you love them enough, you make it happen.”

I only looked up when Becky put her hand over mine. Her eyes were soft, but there was no pity in them and I silently thanked her for it.

“Sometimes you have to realise just how in love you are first. Or allow yourself to admit it.”

•••

By pure luck and what I could only call a miracle, I bumped into Noah in the hallway of the hotel, on the way back to my room. He stopped immediately, and then let me into his room, assuring me it was empty for now, when he realised I didn’t want to have this conversation where we could possibly be overheard.

“Aubrey, I’m sorry,” he started but I held my hand up to stop him before he got any farther.

“I know. I know you are. I don’t know what kind of stuff you need to figure out for yourself, but I’m giving you the time to do it, okay? You’re always welcome in my room and, well, in my bed and just about everywhere else and if there’s things you want to discuss, I’ll make time for you. I’m just asking you not to keep going back and forth and changing your opinion and treating me like someone you’re dating as long as you’re not. Dating me that is. Alright?”

I took a deep breath, holding my head up high. Somewhere in the edges of my brain, I could almost hear Lia cheering me on, congratulating me for speaking my mind and putting up boundaries. I knew it was the right thing to do. For myself, for once.

“Alright,” he simply said. He deserved a little more space to think over what I’d just told him. I hoped he would.

“Well, in completely contrasting news, I hope you know we’re going out for dinner with Oli tonight?”

Noah nodded.

“Good. Because we’re going to treat him right, okay? He’s been… well, he feels a little left out of whatever the three of us have going on and that’s not happening on my watch. So we’re going to be real good to him tonight, whatever that entails and wherever we end up with. Anything to let him know he’s just as important and cherished. Is that something you can do?”

“Yeah… yeah, I think I can.”

“Good.” I gave him a smile, feeling the energy leave me as I finally got everything out I had come here to say. “Put on something nice. Apparently it’s a place that needed a reservation.” I walked a little closer, putting my hand on his chest. “I think we’d all enjoy the turtleneck a lot.”

•••

Oli and Noah looked positively divine when we met up at the restaurant later that night. Noah was every bit as gorgeous as I had hoped he’d be in the turtleneck. Even Oli gave him an appreciative whistle as he saw him, which once again caused Noah to sport a lovely little blush. Oli himself was wearing a white shirt that accentuated his broad shoulders and had entirely too few buttons opened. I briefly considered ignoring our dinner reservation as just taking them back to the hotel immediately and by the way the two of them were mustering me, those thoughts seemed to be mutual.

I’d made an effort. My black dress, thin, with lace and spaghetti straps, had an asymmetrical cut, showing off much more of my right thigh than my left. It was a shame I couldn’t wear it without tights, but the January cold simply wasn’t allowing it. The heels were the only ones I could walk in confidently, with a wide block heel, velvety and sexy. Both men still towered over me.

I’d also put on my dark red lipstick, at Oli’s request. The one that would smudge if touched. It might make dinner a little more complicated, but that was a challenge I was willing to accept.

Luckily, the place didn’t turn out to be too fancy, I realised as a waiter showed us to our seats, Oli’s hand on the small of my back and his other resting on Noah’s arm. Oli hadn’t needed a reservation because it was so impossibly packed during a random Thursday in January. He had needed one because he had asked for a very special table.

The waiter led us to a little platform on which sat what I could only describe as a bird-cage-esque structure, a hexagon of lightly coloured, wooden walls, two of them completely open and leading in and out of the main restaurant area, the other four adorned with a grid of windows. It seemed like there was a spotlight on it, right in the middle of the room, but as soon as I stepped inside and took my seat, I realised it also came with a lot of privacy. It was perfect.

“Bottle of wine?” Oli asked as we flipped through the drinks menu.

I looked over at Noah, but even before he could have seen me stare, he shook his head. “None for me today. I’s rather be sober.”

I wanted to tell him thank you and I know why but either would have opened up questions about what had happened the last two nights, things Oli wasn’t in the loop about, and it didn’t feel like my place to tell. Either way, Oli accepted quickly, ordering some water and and mocktails for the table, claiming that just because we were abstaining from alcohol didn’t mean we couldn’t have some fancy looking drinks.

“I can’t believe we only have four more shows on this run,” I sighed. I hadn’t meant to mention it really, but it was starting to weigh on my mind after my talk with Becky earlier. It had made me realise just how close we were to saying goodbye, going our separate ways. Oli back to recording the album, Noah still on tour, me… well, I’d have to figure that one out, too. So far my search for both a job and a place to stay hadn’t been very successful.

“Hey,” Oli interrupted my pondering, putting his hand over mine. Noah seemed to briefly feel left out, grabbing my other hand to mirror the sentiment. “No being sad at our date. It’s not like we’ll never see each other after.”

I wasn’t quite that confident in the future, but he was right. Now was not the time or place to start overthinking.

“Date, eh?” I joked instead. Deep down, I wanted confirmation, but I was too cowardly to ask outright. Then I remembered Noah’s hesitation to the idea of us going on a date before, but he was simply sipping his newly arrived drink, either ignoring the underlying question or being at peace with it. I couldn’t quite figure it out yet.

“I figured it should be one, you know,” Oli mused in fake contemplation. “Only seems fair to take you two out for dinner before I fuck you.”

If Noah had been slightly apathetic at the conversation before, he now put himself in the middle of it as he did a literal spit take, droplets of his mocktail landing on the wooden table. I was quick to mop it up with my napkin, trying to hold the laughter at bay. Oli didn’t care. He gave a bark that was loud enough to be heard by just about everyone in the restaurant. There were some spots on Noah’s turtleneck too and even though they would probably dry to be invisible on the dark shirt, I reached out to pat at it too.

He stood up a little abruptly, feeling the wet fabric with his fingers. “I’m just gonna head to the bathroom. Order me the chickenburger, yeah?”

Oli and I were still giggling by the time he disappeared from view.

“Should I go after him?” he questioned with a smirk. “Or is that gonna make things worse?”

“The latter probably,” I giggled. “He might think you’re trying to fuck him in the bathroom stalls.” Oli made a face that suggested he was thinking about it. I smacked my hand against his shoulder. “I’ll go check on him. Order me whatever, you know what I like.”

By the time I’d reached the toilets, Noah was already exiting the room again. I approached him slowly, a hand coming to rest on his chest when I was close enough.

“Oli a bit much for you?”

“When is he not,” he sighed but immediately followed it up with a smile. “It just came a little unexpectedly.”

His hand reached for mine, again, playing with my fingers and stroking the back of it as I kept it on his chest, heavy breathing underneath.

“You know he doesn’t expect anything of you, right? You don’t have to go home with him, or us. And if you do, no one’s making you do anything. He knows you’ve never, you know… been with a man like that.”

“I want to,” Noah stated, voice much more steadfast that I would have expected. “I really do. I’m just… nervous I won’t be any good.”

“Oli’s so into you, I don’t think he’d care even if you did everything wrong your possibly could,” I giggled. Relief flooded my veins when he joined in. “Besides, he’s no better off. He talks a lot of shit and he’s really good at pretending, but unless he has a whole other life he hasn’t shared with me, his experience with men doesn’t go further than some drunken make-out sessions either.”

Noah nodded, perhaps slightly unconvinced, but a lot less jittery than before. I pressed a kiss to his lips, delighted by the fact that I didn’t have to get on my usual tiptoes with the heels I was wearing. He kept me there, for a moment, with his hand at the nape of my neck, even when the kiss had ended. Simply breathing each other in. I allowed him to decide when to break the contact. I figured he needed it.

“Thank you”, he whispered.

“What for?”

“Just being you.”

•••

The rest of our outing continued much less dramatically, but filled with laughter and little flirts. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt so good, just by being around these two. Oli had ordered for all of us as the waiter had indeed come by while Noah and I were gone. There was a good chance I was making heart eyes at him when a plate of curry appeared in front of me. He’d known it was my favourite. He seemed to know it all, I realised.

We ended up squeezed in the backseat of a cab, each of us with a to-go back with desserts on our laps. Oli insisted on taking them, even though neither of us were thinking very much about eating right about now. The tension in the backseat was thick - not necessarily bad, considering growing arousal and excitement were pumping through my veins as I tried to imagine what was to come.

The car took a sharp turn, prompting a low gasp from Noah when my body pressed closer to his. On his exhale, a soft hum was pulled from his throat. A reminder that I wasn’t the only one who was about to benefit from this.

The scenery outside changed, restaurants and cafés and shops giving way to a residential area, little blocks of flat, small houses with tiny gardens in front. Not the industrial complexes, the hotels, the high-rise buildings I was expecting.

“This isn’t the way to the hotel.”

As I turned to Oli, I was caught off guard by the smirk on his face. That fucker. He had ordered the cab, he had planned this. Planned - what, though? He let out a chuckle at my confusion, clearly pleased with my reaction.

“Because we’re not going there.” Oli leaned in, lips brushing my ear, yet speaking loudly enough that Noah wouldn’t be left out of the conversation. “Did you really think I’d let you bed me in a random hotel room and not my place when we’re in Sheffield?”

Noah tensed next to me. As I turned to look at him, Oli’s lips once again brushing my skin, I realised he was clutching the takeaway container a little more desperately. He’d definitely heard. And by the way he was trying to press the box down against his crotch, it had gotten him just as hot as it had gotten me.

The driver announcing our arrival saved either of us from reacting to the fact that Oli had just all but told the driver we were going to hook up in some capacity or other. All of us scrambled to get out into the cold night, no thoughts left but to get inside as quickly as possible. All I wanted was to get those two undressed, get my hands on them, my lips, I didn’t care if it was going to be a bedroom or not. I was beyond superficial details like that.

Noah wrapped an arm around me as I shivered in my coat, both of us careful not to drop the desserts. The building towered over us, several stories high and quite obviously new. Much more expensive than I could ever afford. I hoped it would have more soul once we were inside. Oli unlocked the door, the little Powerpuff Girls charm dangling from his key ring, and led us to the lift. It went all the way to the top floor where he let us into his apartment.

It was… perfectly Oli. The place had a homely feel to it, not small enough to feel cramped, not big enough to get lost in the feeling of its vastness. I wanted to stay forever, go through his things, study the way he decorated, how he sorted his stuff, what he had kept over the years and what had gotten moved into a faraway closet that never got opened. All the things that made him tick.

The large bookcase was filled with novels that called out for me to leaf through, study their contents, let my fingers run along their spines, ask him which ones he had read yet, see how his collection compared to my much smaller one. Little trinkets and souvenirs from all over the world were placed in between. So many stories to tell. So many anecdotes I hadn’t gotten to hear yet.

My eyes fell on the floor-length windows. They provided a stunning view all over the city, lights twinkling in the dark. I could stay here and watch forever. If I could afford it, I’d surely get a place like this too. As I stepped closer, trying to avoid the glare from inside lights, the container in my hands almost bumped into the window pane. Right. The desserts.

“Oli, where do-”

While I had been exploring Oli’s living room, Noah had apparently started exploring Oli’s body. The takeaway boxes safely set on the counter of the open kitchen, the two of them were tightly intertwined. Oli was holding Noah close, his arms wrapped around the other’s waist as Noah perfectly molded himself to Oli’s chest. His own hands were impatiently touching his back, his arse, his shoulders, as if they couldn’t get enough of what they were feeling. It was a familiar sentiment.

I approached the pair, dropping the takeaway next to theirs, allowing my fingers to trail over both of their bodies. Noah pulled back when he realised, lips already red from the intense kiss.

“Bedroom?” I simply asked. Noah nodded enthusiastically as Oli untangled himself with a smirk. He led us through a short hallway, past his bathroom which seemed even more luxurious than the hotel ones I’d been fawning over, and into his bedroom, the second to last door.

It was much less decorated than the living area, but still drew me in. The dark carpet, heavy curtains that hid the window, the plush bed - the bed was large enough that, if I hadn’t known better, I would have assumed Oli had ordered it specifically for the three of us. We’d fit in much better than at the hotel which was more than an advantage for what we were planning to do that night.

Noah seemed to have the same thought as he pushed Oli onto the mattress, immediately dropping to his knees in front of him and starting to work on removing Oli’s trousers. Not wanting to be left out, I moved onto the bed as well, slowly unbuttoning Oli’s dress shirt, one by one, my fingers tracing over every inch of hot skin that revealed itself. Oli was already growing restless, one of his hands covering mine to speed up my movements, but I remained relentless.

I didn’t care to remove the shirt completely as I pushed the fabric away, revealing a chest full of tattoos I would never get sick of staring at. Oli’s breathing quickened as I let my fingertips run over the lines, his nipples, up his neck.

“Aubrey, I swear to god, if you don’t kiss me soon-”

I leaned down, letting my lips touch the shell of his ear, just as he had done in the cab.

“Yeah? Then what?”

I didn’t torture him by waiting for an answer, instead putting my lips on his with no further warning, immediately catching him in a passionate kiss. He sighed, then gasped into it, leaving me to wonder what Noah was currently up to, but when Oli tried to get me to open my mouth, deepen our connection further, I pulled back. His lips were tinted red now, a slight stain of my lipstick even on the skin around his mouth.

I wasn’t quite sure why yet, but it was a sight that utterly captivated me and made me adore him more. I wanted to kiss him stupid, leave my mark all over, see my lips all over his body, every day. I pressed another kiss on his cheek, then in the middle of the rose on his neck, where the red was losing itself in between the thicker, black lines, a colouring book I wanted to try all my shades on.

Looking behind me, I watched as Noah pulled Oli’s underwear down his legs, discarding them without much care, much too preoccupied with the way Oli’s dick bounced upward as it was freed from the fabric, already considerably hard and mouth-wateringly delicious. Feeling my stare on him, he managed to tear his gaze away, only to grin at me in the most devilish way, motioning for me to join him on the floor. I did without hesitation.

He pulled me in for a quick kiss, allowing me to leave more of my lipstick on him too, even though the marks were already becoming more faint in their intensity. I could only imagine the way my own face looked, colour shifting around my mouth, no precision left in the outline.

“Help me treat Oli right?” Noah whispered against my lips. “I bet he’ll love two mouths on his dick even more than one.”

He did. He couldn’t be blamed - I wasn’t sure how I’d cope if I had two pairs of lips, two tongues, playing with my pussy at the same time. As soon as Noah and I both started leaving teasing little kisses on Oli’s length, he dissolved into a puddle of moans. He was still propped up on his elbows, watching the two of us on our knees, so it was impossible to tell if it was just the feeling of it or the visual as well.

It wasn’t the most technically perfect blowjob in history as Noah and I kept clashing, getting more and more lost in our own lust of getting our mouths on Oli, tasting him, swallowing him, then licking him while the other person swallowed him. Oli’s hands were all over the place, completely uncoordinated as they grasped at the backs of our heads, our hair, the bedsheets, anything they could find. One of my hands had travelled to Noah’s crotch.

I was much too distracted to do much but enjoy the way he was growing in his trousers. Or how my knees were uncomfortably rubbing against the hard floor. My brain was clouded with lust and the need to get Oli to come. Tonight was going to be all about him, in away he’d let it, and just the thought of spending a few more hours with my hands on Oli, getting him high again and again, hopefully finally feeling his dick inside me, had me delirious.

“Fuck, I’m not gonna last,” Oli mumbled. When his hand found the back of my head again, gripping my hair and pulling me off him, it was with intention. His eyes were almost pleading when I looked up. “Can I-?”

I nodded before he posed the complete question. He could. In fact, I was gagging for it. As much as I’d enjoyed blowjobs before in my life, never had I been craving for their smells, their taste, their cum as much as I did with these two.

Noah pulled away, letting his fingers play with the part I wouldn’t manage to get in my mouth, fondling his balls, as I slowly took Oli as deep as I could without gagging, still missing a good portion, but all aspirations to swallow him whole would have to wait another day.

Oli wasn’t lying when he said he was close. His hips were starting to shift off the bed, fighting a losing battle as he tried to keep himself from fucking my mouth, his noises an amalgamation I wanted to record and put in a song. When he came, he did so with a punched-out sound, shallow thrusts that slowly stopped as I swallowed as much as I could. When I let him drop from my mouth, I could feel some of it dripping from my lips still. Noah caught me in a kiss, greedily licking at them until there was nothing left.

“Jesus Christ, you two are nasty,” Oli groaned, but all of us knew it was the opposite of a complaint. He sat up a little more, face flushed, looking utterly satisfied. “Now why the fuck are you still dressed?”

I stood up eagerly. The whole scene between the three of us had gotten me uncomfortably wet, my panties noticeably sticky. I didn’t care what exactly would follow, as long as it included an orgasm of my own sooner or later. I’d barely grasped the seam of my dress when Noah’s hands appeared on my legs. Their warmth seeped through my tights, mixing with the hotness of my own skin.

“Let me,” he whispered, still on his knees, hands travelling upward, slowly and teasingly, until they reached the hem of my tights. He rolled down the fabric, over my thighs, where he paused to press a kiss to the snake tattoo, over my knees, my shins. He only stopped to take off my boots, then resumed his task, until my feet and legs were bare.

For a moment, as I looked down, Noah on his knees before me, those big brown eyes staring up at me, adoration radiating from his whole being, his hands under my dress, it felt like a worship I wasn’t deserving of.

Then, he got up to pull the dress over my head before I could ruminate on it or start to cry. Noah never let me miss his touch for too long, toying with the clasp of my bra as he peppered kisses all over the side of my neck, finally unhooking and removing it completely, only for his lips to attach themselves to my nipples. I couldn’t seem to do much but take it all in, sighing at each and every touch, purely giving into pleasure.

His fingers were tracing over the fabric, so lightly I could barely feel it at all, but it was enough to cause my knees to buckle and my hands to grasp onto his body for fear of falling. I was so hopelessly turned on, every tiny thing had me losing my mind.

“She’s so fucking wet, she’s basically dripping on my fingers,” Noah chuckled. “Where do you want her?”

“Right here, on my face.”

I stiffened immediately, eyes snapping open and staring at Oli, who had gotten comfortable on the bed, in all his naked glory, motioning for me to join him. I felt equal parts insecure and excited - I’d never sat on anyone’s face. Not only had no one ever offered, I was also terrified of being too much. My thighs suffocating the other person. Looking awful from their angle. Not being able to come because I was so tense from holding myself up so desperately.

But Oli… Oli wasn’t just looking at me with lust. He wasn’t doing this for any reason but because he craved it. Because he knew he could make it good for me. And, even if my heart was beating out of my chest with nerves, I trusted him.

“I thought tonight was going to be all about you?” I teased, still stalling. Noah was busy pulling my underwear down my legs, tapping on each ankle in turn so I would lift my feet, aiding him in removing the item.

“Who said this is anything but a treat for me?”

Somehow, that sealed the deal. On slightly shaky legs, I crossed the short distance, climbed on the bed and then hesitated as I kneeled next to Oli’s body.

“How-”

I didn’t need to finish the question. Oli, once again, knew exactly what I was thinking.

“Face that way,” he ordered, motioning toward the room, toward the other man. “I’m sure Noah can think of something to make it even better for you.”

With a nod, I awkwardly climbed over Oli’s body, trying to position myself over his face, much too preoccupied with what I was doing and how it would look and whether I might squish Oli to watch the other man. I found myself shuffling, again and again, the muscles in my thighs straining as I held myself up. I didn’t know where to put my hands, or whether to lean in any particular way. Even Noah removing his tight turtleneck and shoving down his trousers couldn’t sufficiently distract me.

“Aubrey, what the fuck are you doing,” Oli mumbled from underneath me, making me halt in my movements.

“I just-”

“It’s called sitting on someone’s face, not hovering.”

I was about to protest, but then his hands heavily grasped onto my thighs, pulling me down so decidedly that I had no option to fight against it, and then, the words still on my tongue, he licked through my wetness and I was so over convincing him of anything that didn’t include his mouth on me.

A moan was ripped from my throat as I dropped my hands forward onto Oli’s chest. Fuck. I’d severely underestimated just how turned on I was. His tongue was flicking my clit ever so slightly, every now and then, before going back to explore the rest of my pussy, and I was already throbbing.

Noah crawled onto the bed next to us, fully naked now, his hard cock standing proudly, and somehow, the pure sight of it heightened my arousal. I ground my hips downward, unable to get enough of Oli, but his hands, clasped tightly on my thighs, kept me exactly where he wanted me. It was as exhilarating as it was frustrating.

I was desperate to come now. I was desperate to feel something inside of me, too, in addition to Oli’s tongue on my clit, but I didn’t want to beg. Not yet. And this night was about Oli - if he’d wanted his fingers in me, they would already be there. All I could do was let myself fall into the sensations, trust that his teasing would result in an orgasm, and study Noah, who was now climbing onto Oli’s frame as well.

I watched as he took his own cock in his hand, admiring the way his fingers looked wrapped around it, then he ground his hips against Oli’s. Oli’s dick gave a twitch in response, ready to grow hard once again, and the moan vibrated through me so deliciously that I felt like screaming. I kept eye contact with Noah through it, as difficult as it was becoming. His smile told me he knew exactly what he was doing - both to Oli and to me.

With a sly grin, Noah repeated his action. His whole body shuddered at the contact, obviously desperate for release, but his focus was solely on Oli and me. Oli moaned again, loud enough that I could both hear and feel it, and it was good, it was so much more than good, and I needed it badly, so, so badly. Noah knew. He grasped onto both of their dicks now, wrapping his long fingers about him and Oli, getting the other more and more hard, jacking both of them off.

Oli was growing restless again, his hips thrusting upward to meet Noah’s movements, his mouth now constantly moaning against me, his vibrations ever increasing. He closed his lips around my clit now, so delicately and yet strongly enough and I came, shouting and screaming and clawing at his chest as my legs trembled and then gave in, almost dropping fully on Oli’s body.

Noah was quicker, though, catching me easily, strong hands holding me up until I managed to drop onto the mattress as all of my muscles refused to work. Then he bent down toward Oli and I turned my head just quickly enough to see the wetness I had left on Oli’s face and how Noah proceeded to kiss all of it away.

Oli lost himself in it for a moment, but he wouldn’t let Noah have the upper hand for long. With a quick move, he turned the two of them around, trapping Noah against the mattress. Noah, so tall and broad, suddenly looked utterly smitten and small underneath him.

“How have we gone so long without my mouth on your dick,” Oli mused as he kissed his way down Noah’s chest. “You already got to suck me off twice.” He was now palming Noah’s dick, his mouth stilling somewhere along his hips. “Now it’s time for me to get mine. You gonna be a good boy, Noah? Keep your hips still so I can blow you? You better be or this is gonna be over before you know it.”

Noah nodded, eagerly, falling into this submissive role with ease, which I couldn’t help but take note of. It was fascinating watching him, who was always so self-assured and in control on stage, let go of it all and simply put himself into Oli’s hands, knowing and trusting he would get exactly what he needed, if not always what he wanted.

Oli’s mouth hovered over Noah’s dick now, his breath already hitting the tip, but before he gave into Noah’s wishes, he turned his head toward me. I’d since sat up, craving nothing more than a front-row seat to the spectacle as my body slowly came back to life.

“And you be a good girl too and prepare yourself for me, yeah? I’m going to fuck you when he’s finished and I’m not going to put any fingers in you first.”

My face was heating up with such intensity, I could only imagine how red it was. But I, too, nodded, shifting my body slightly and parting my legs, ready to do as he asked. What I was seeing in front of me would drench me once again in no time anyway.

Oli engulfed Noah’s tip without any further hesitation now. Noah’s hands flew to the back of Oli’s head, halting in their movements immediately but then relaxing into his hair as he realised Oli wasn’t going to scold him for it. I let my fingers wander between my thighs, another wave of wetness hitting me as I watched the two men. Oli had clearly done his research, expertly bobbing his head, taking Noah a little deeper, but keeping to the rules he had put to Noah just days before to save his voice for the rest of the tour and moving his hand to pleasure all of him.

When I slipped a finger inside of me, I found no resistance, just slick walls begging for more, begging to be filled properly, so I let another finger join. The noises of me pumping my fingers in and out were impossible to ignore, but they still paled in comparison to Noah’s low groans and the way Oli was starting to drool around Noah’s cock.

The third finger was a stretch, but Oli was big enough that I knew I needed it to take him comfortably. I didn’t mind it. I enjoyed it just that bit more if it was a little too much, a little too intense, a little too fast. I would probably love taking Oli without any preparation at all. I pushed the thought away for another day.

Noah was close now. I could tell from the noises that escaped his mouth, the way his fingers were all but tearing at Oli’s hair. He had trouble keeping his hips down, but if there was one thing to know about Oli is that his threats usually weren’t empty. Oli sped up further, both his mouth and his hand. I quickly removed my fingers from my pussy, just in time, as Noah came, moaning so beautifully, unable to stop thrusting into Oli’s mouth once, twice. I would have come on the spot too if I’d still been touching myself.

Oli pulled himself off, licking up everything that had escaped him from Noah’s cock, who whined pitifully. The way he wiped his mouth on his hand almost seemed obscene. Even after all that had transpired already. Noah was busy catching his breath, eyes closed, looking utterly satisfied. Oli, however, was far from done.

Crawling over to the bedside table, he opened the uppermost drawer. Filled with condoms, lube and wipes, as far as I could see, it obviously served as his closest assembly of anything he could need for spontaneous sex. Though I didn’t doubt he’d have a much bigger collection of things somewhere else. He blindly grabbed one of the condoms, tearing it open and rolling it onto his thick, hard erection. My mouth was watering already. In an instant, he was on me, pulling me into a bruising kiss.

“How did he fuck you, Aubrey?” His lips was wandering from my neck down to my chest, pushing me backwards until I was lying flat, then letting his teeth graze over my nipples. I cried out at the feeling, sensitive to a fault and yet not getting anywhere near enough. “Did you do it missionary, like an old couple? Did he make you ride him, watch your pretty tits bounce? No… He did you from behind, didn’t he?”

His hands harshly grabbed onto my hips and before I knew it, Oli had turned me on my front, pulling me up to my knees in front of him. I propped myself up on my elbows, ready to let him do whatever he wanted to me as long as it involved his dick in me. His fingertips were digging into my flesh now, hard enough that I knew it would leave bruises. I couldn’t wait to see them.

“Let’s see who can do it better, doll.”

I didn’t have any more time to prepare as he pushed in roughly, not stopping until he was entirely buried in me and I was crying out at the delicious stretch. He felt amazing in me, even without moving, but when he finally did, it brought me to new heights without any trouble at all. He didn’t show any mercy, thrusting so hard that the bed was moving along with us, the sound of skin slapping echoing the room. I gave myself over to him completely, allowing him to treat me however he liked, utterly brainless, unable to care about anything but the fire in my lower belly burning hotter and hotter.

I barely realised Noah was moving, much too distracted by the way Oli was fucking me to take note of anything else, until he appeared in my field of vision, fumbling with the drawer Oli had left open. Curious, I tried my best to lift my head to see what his plan was, but Oli gave me another hard thrust that caused my arms to falter completely, my chest hitting the mattress. I didn’t try to hoist myself up again.

I heard a click, some shuffling behind me, then-

“Fuck!” Oli exclaimed, pushing into me again with a shudder. “Oh, fuck.”

I didn’t know what had just changed, but suddenly, Oli was a mess, irregular in how he fucked me. I pushed back into him, missing the rhythm he had established, but he was still slightly distracted.

“Fuck, Noah, that’s-”

I allowed myself to turn my head, struggling with the position, but managing just enough to see Noah standing behind Oli. There was no way to see exactly what was happening, but with the way Oli was now arching both toward me and toward Noah, his body seemingly unable to decide which way to go and-

“Did Noah just put a finger in your arse?”

“Two, love. Two;” Oli moaned, losing control at the treatment. Then, as if remembering his main goal, he crowded against my back, positioning me just the way he liked and fucked me hard, again, bringing me to the brink of my orgasm in a matter of moments.

I was loving the sounds in the room, the filthy atmosphere, the way Oli and I were chasing our heights, the way Noah made himself part of it, how Oli faltered under it. It was only a matter of moments, my own hand reaching between my legs, and then I was clenching around Oli, crying out at the force that hit me, riding it until I felt utterly spent, letting Oli, who was now nothing but a sweaty mess against my back, fuck me harshly until he came too, shooting into the condom with high-pitched moans.

Oli just about managed to pull out before collapsing on my back, pressing me into the mattress, until I started struggling underneath him, his ever heavier growing figure leaving me gasping for a breath I wasn’t able to catch yet anyway. Noah was the one who ended up providing the most aftercare, stashing the lube he’d used on Oli, passing around wipes and water he got from somewhere I couldn’t quite follow, but he was also the only one out of us whose brain still seemed to work at least a little.

I ended up making grabby hands at him like a little child as the sweat on my body slowly turned cold, leaving an entirely different type of goosebumps to wreak havoc on my skin. Noah saw, pulling the plush blanket up with him as he got into bed next to me, making sure to tuck both me and Oli in before hugging close to me.

Oli was still on his back, staring at the ceiling, apparently questioning… his life, maybe? He certainly looked like it. I figured it might have had something to do with the surprise action he got from behind this time. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was a first for him.

Oli, who always seemed so experience, never showed any hesitation or shyness about anything we did, surely had his boundaries too. And letting someone finger his arse surely wasn’t something he casually shared with a lot of people. What would that mean for the two of them? Noah had taken a brave step today. All I could hope was that it would open a door to more between the two of them. I knew they wanted it; they simply needed to admit it too.

Noah was still nestled into my side when Oli finally decided it was time to cuddle for him as well. There was no room for talking, not tonight. All of the unspoken things were going to be left to fester in our brains for a little while more, threatening to become more clear as the post-orgasmic haze lifted bit by bit, but I was hoping we’d be drifting off to sleep before it engulfed us. Talking was for tomorrow. No travelling, very few things on the agenda, a hometown show at night. It could wait.

Oli’s mouth was on my neck, nuzzling his nose into my hair. But this time, his warm breath was comforting instead of arousing. Until he left a much-too-hard bite on my earlobe, obnoxious as usual, and I blindly swatted at his head.

I was just about to drift off, fully comfortable sandwiched between the two men, when Oli spoke up.

“So, who fucked you better, doll, me or Noah?”

I wanted to be appalled, offended or at least pretend I was, but all that happened was that an insane giggle left my mouth, shaking my whole body until it had spread to the sides and taken Oli and Noah as well. Noah buried his head into the other side of my neck as I awkwardly slung my arm around him. Turning my face toward Oli, I grabbed onto his chin just enough to move his mouth to mine, pressing a short but heavy kiss against it.

“Guess you’ll both have to fuck me during the same evening for optimal comparisons.”

[mistresskayla-blog1]

For Ursa's Benefit

Characters: Adam Price x OC Callisto

Lyn's Writing Event 2024 - Day 10 Week 2

May 10th: Week 2: Ursa Major (great bear)  “Callisto” constellation

Characters: Adam Price x OC Callisto  (Fem werebear)

Fandom: Richard Armitage – Adam Price - The Stranger

The character of Adam Price was created by Harlan Coben, and adapted for television by Danny Brocklehurst

OC Created by Kayla B Crowe – copyright protected

Location: A dense woods in the North of England  (Bleaklow – Peak District – West of Sheffield)

Warnings: werebear x known character, grief, romance, potential smut, survival tests, bisexual,

After his wife’s tragic death, Adam Price’s friends and family suggest he go on a personal retreat trip to renew himself. Both the boys were off to college, and he had mourned for 3 years now. It was time to get a life back, one where he could feel joy again. Adam packed up for the 3 days hike that the brochure had suggested. Parked in the designated parking area, and started off on the intended trail, following the geo tags his phone gave him. It felt like checkpoints in a game, and he shuddered to be thinking like his kids, then warmly to be thinking about the men they are becoming. About an hour into the hike; he heard some wood being chopped very aggressively, and smoke rose from a small wood cabin about 50 feet ahead of him on a ridge. He smiled, desperately needing some company, and a break.

As Adam got closer he saw the lone figure chopping some wood. She, which surprised him a bit was burly, tall, maybe 5’11", light brown hair, shorter, cut in a stylized mohawk across her crown, and landing in a braid down her back, that curved across her muscular shoulder. Her skin was a bit dirty, warmed by the sun, but olive and it glowed in the cascading sunlight that broke through the trees. She had some ink on her upper right arm, in scrolling lettering it read, “Stay strong”. Her tank top of grey jersey knit stretched against her pert bosom, and her thick thighs hugged the legs of her navy green cargo pants. The pockets gaping open on the sides, from use. She heaved the axe over her head and swung down again, splitting the large log in three pieces, some shavings skittering as her roar of triumph rung through the forest.

Adam’s mouth gaped a second, then he swallowed and walked a bit closer to her, before he spoke. She saw him right away, and swung the axes down again, after repositioning the larger chunk of the three, “Yeah? What can I do for you?” her voice was feminine but throaty, a mixture of high altitude and wood dust inhalation. As Adam answered, she swung down again grunting.

“Hi, I’m Adam”, paused with a smile, “I am on this hiking expedition, (he moved to show her his phone) and I was wondering if you knew about the summit part of this trail, also do you have a bathroom?” 

She stopped and wiped her brow, sort of squinting at his phone, “Yeah sure, come on in, I think I know that trail your talking about”. She started to trudge toward the house and Adam diligently followed, marking his first few steps with a “thank you”.

She shouldered her way into the cabin door, leaving it ajar as Adam entered behind her. He Set his rucksack down on the porch and walked in, feeling grateful to have a moment with the bag off.  She washed off her hands, and turned as he stopped just inside the door, having to duck a bit to clear it.   “The bathroom is over there” she said pointing towards an inward door. Adam nodded and went straight to it. In the shadowed light of the cabin, he could see her eyes, and smell her scent, a heady mixture of pine, grass and earth. It was in a word, intoxicating.

              Adam used the facilities, and washed his hands, drying them on a towel hanging near the toilet. Everything seemed to have a place, and it was “homey” but not, hmm.. Adam thought. There was something, different about this place, he just couldn’t figure it out, yet.

Adam came back out of the bathroom, shutting off the light. She looked up from her glass of ale, and visibly sniffed at him, “So how long is the hike?” She asked.

“oh, sorry, sorry. I meant to ask, what is your name?” Adam put his hand out in introduction again,

She readjusted her position on the bench seat of the kitchen table, and went to shake his hand, “I’m Callisto”, she said, taking a tug on the bottle of ale, she tipped one to him, “You want one?”

Adam shook his head, “No, thanks I’m fine. So, you live up here? Year round?” 

Callisto looked at him, amused, “Yeah. I do. What of it?”

Adam was captivated, she was gritty and gorgeous and peculiar, “Oh, no reason, jus curiosity I guess, thanks for the use of your, um, bathroom. So as I was saying there is this trail, (he pulled out his phone again)”.

Callisto looked at the screen and grinned, her bare teeth has an eerie glow of white against her tattooed neck and dark eyes, “Yeah, that’s the Peak trail to Bleaklow, I mean, if your interested I could take you up myself”. Her voice warmed a bit, looking at him now.

Adam, looked at his phone to reset his mind, “Um, sure, if its not too much trouble. A guide would be great. I have to tent up here, (he pointed at a checkpoint on his map) by tonight, so any help would be appreciated”. 

Callisto nodded, “Yeah I can get you there before night fall. Its nearing a new moon tonight, so you’ll have a chance to see the stars”. She winked at him, and Adam nearly blushed.

He nervously laughed, “Great. Well, um, I should go check my gear again, when did you want to start out?” 

Callisto looked at an army style multi watch on her right wrist, “We should head out in about 20 minutes”. Adam looked at his own watch, “Ok, sure. I’ll have snack then and rehydrate too”. Callisto finished her ale and set it down, “You do that” she chuckled mildly and stood up from the bench, moving her thighs across the bench and sweeping a leg up to cross back to the bins by the stove. A clatter of glass on glass rung through the cabin. Adam stood up and walked out the front door, still agape from their entering.

Callisto wiped her face and back of her neck off with the tap water cold. She ran her fingers through the top of her mohawk and sighed. He was a nice piece, she thought. Tall, and handsome, and, she laughed, fit. He looked like he could take her on, if she let him. A wry smile crossed her lips, “or maybe I’ll take him on”, she mused to herself. Callisto moved to the back room where her bed and wardrobe trunk were and gathered a small rucksack, throwing in some rope, a trail knife, some water bottles, and a first aid kit. She grabbed a hoodie over the footboard of her wood frame bed and shoved it into the rucksack as well.

Callisto returned to the main room of the cabin and grabbed a stick of salmon jerky off the counter, tearing into it with vigor, her large fangs exposed as she masticated the dried meat and scales. Adam was grumbling on the porch, she could hear him. Callisto walked to the entrance and stood in the doorway watching him repack his own rucksack.

“Trouble, dear?” her endearment playful and surreptitious.

Adam looked up, and smiled immediately, seeing her from this angle, at his knees, “No, I just swear I packed this other set of spikes, but I guess I didn’t. I’ll just have to hope the trail doesn’t get too loose footed higher up” he chuckled.

“It won’t. I know these trails pretty well. I’ll take you up to where you need to make camp”.

Adam, “And what about you? You get back to the cabin before dark?” his look of genuine concern was gentlemanly, Callisto noted that.

She scoffed, “I live here, remember, I can get back home by scent alone”, she snorted and tipped her nose up to him, crossing her arms against her chest.

Adam stood then, showing his true height and Callisto actually watched him this time as he rose. Adam turned and put the sack onto his back, “Well we’d best be off then, ya?”

Callisto put her sack on her own back, and shut her door, “yeah let’s get started”.

---

(dear readers I have much more I want to post for these two, but alas I had a double today and could not finish the last act of chapter 1. So more parts to come, hopefully after the weekend).

Lyn's Writing Event 2024

Tag list:

Please PM me if you want to be tagged for the remainder of the challenge this month.

@legolasbadass @scariusaquarius

@middleearthpixie @evenstaredits @sweetestgbye @lathalea

@riepu10

[grits-galraisedinthesouth]

"The Kate Effect:" Often imitated, never duplicated 👑

Determined to help, Kate has now persuaded 19 British brands to donate more than 10,000 NEW items to more than 40 baby banks across the UK.

The Duchess of Cambridge donned a mask, apron and gloves today as she launched a major initiative to support vulnerable babies and children. On a visit to the baby bank charity Baby Basics UK in Sheffield, she revealed how she was moved to tears by the stories of families she met during secret lockdown visits to its West Norfolk branch near her Anmer Hall home.

As she unloaded pallets and unpacked the first deliveries at the charity’s temporary distribution centre, she told volunteers: "It can get very emotional. I remember a couple of the families I met from King's Lynn and I went home and literally burst into tears, their stories were so moving. The struggles they have gone through, the bravery they have shown...in extraordinary circumstances. Helping their families through extraordinary times."

Volunteer-run baby banks provide essentials such as nappies, clothing and bedding to vulnerable families who are referred by health visitors, midwives and social workers. But while baby banks across the UK have seen an increase in demand during the Covid-19 outbreak, many have been unable to accept second-hand donations because of health and safety concerns.The Duchess also spoke via videocalls to Amy Cotton, who fled a violent home with only her baby son Ricky, now three, and received a buggy, clothing and toys from Little Village. She is now a volunteer for the charity and has a 12-week old daughter, Ellie-Rose.

Kate told her: "It is brave and not often the easiest thing to do but it is really fantastic that you've reached out, that you are so open about your own struggles but also the fact that you are in such a fantastic place now. I suppose it is real credit to you, the journey that you've undertaken and the courage and strength you've shown to get there. So well done. And I love the fact that you are volunteering too."

She also spoke to Ella-Mae Michalski, whose 21-month-old twin girls Bella and Ruby were born prematurely with chronic lung disease. Little Village provided them with a double pram, clothes, muslins and other essentials.

"As a mum the one thing you want to be able to do is to provide for your children and it was difficult not to be able to do that but Little Village helped," said Ella-Mae. "It's something as basic as getting a cup of tea when you come here and people asking how you are and being able to offload without fear of what people might think."After learning about the situation during private visits to her local branch, where she helped to pack Moses Baskets with essential products for babies, the Duchess spearheaded a campaign to get UK companies to donate items to baby banks run by Baby Basics UK, London-based Little Village and Aberdeenshire-based AberNecessities.

Retailers taking part include John Lewis, M&S, Tesco, Sainsbury's, The White Company, Matalan, Trotters, Boden, Frugi, Mamas & Papas, Jojo Maman Bébé and Kit & Kin. Green People (Organic Babies), My Little Coco, Bloom and Blossom, Kokoso Baby, Childs Farm and Bramley have also made donations, while DHL Express is providing transport.

In Sheffield, Baby Basics CEO Cat Ross told the Duchess: "Often in a world where there is a lot of judgement and stereotyping about being poor, that additional stress can be even more difficult for parents who are doing amazing things to keep their families going with such strength, such determination."

"Yes," agreed Kate, "One of the mums I met was a nurse. These are families who do fantastic jobs and even they are struggling."Talking about community spirit during lockdown, she added: "It is those small volunteering acts that everyone can contribute to that make such a difference. That inter-generational support system has been amazing. Knowing that you can make such a big difference to another family is wonderful."

Kate also met Ali Wartty and Sahara Hamawandy, and their one-year-old triplets San, Shan and Laveen. An emotional Sahara told the Duchess how she was referred to Baby Basics after struggling to cope. The charity provided them with a triple pram, Moses baskets and starter packs, as well as clothes and toiletries as the babies have grown.

"I was living on the 12th floor of a block of flats and trying to cope with the three of them," she told the Duchess. "It must have been so stressful," sympathised Kate.  

Sahara told her: "How do you take your three babies down from the 12th floor without a pram? We weren't able to go out at all." Speaking afterwards, Sahara said: "To give support to mum means giving support to the whole family. That’s why the charity has been so important to a mother like me. It gave me power. It transformed me. I just want to say thank you to everybody."A Little Village survey of more than 50 baby banks has found that 77% desperately need more nappies, mattresses and other products as demand for their services increases. The charity is set to support more than 6,000 children this year, double the number they helped in 2019.

Founder and Chief Executive Sophia Parker said: "The pandemic appears to be making the situation much, much worse for many families. Every child should have the right to a good childhood and this new initiative is a much welcomed step towards tackling child poverty in the under 5s."

Danielle Flecher-Horn, Founder of AberNecessities, added: "By providing parents with the resources to build a positive relationship with their children - from pregnancy and throughout the first years – we can make a real difference to a child’s development, health and overall happiness."Speaking aftewards, Baby Basics CEO Cat Ross said: "A lot of people have heard about food banks but don’t necessarily know about the baby banks and what we do. Having someone like the Duchess behind us is amazing and her helping us by getting in all these amazing brands has been incredible."

Announcing the initiative, Kate said: "Over recent months, I have heard from families who have been supported by baby banks through the most difficult of times and I have been deeply moved by their stories. Having somewhere to turn to for support is important for all families, and baby banks work every day, up and down the country, to provide immediate, tangible and practical help for parents and carers when they are most in need.

"Baby banks are driven by incredible volunteers, demonstrating the power of community spirit in supporting families and coming together to raise the next generation. Thanks to the generosity of the companies taking part in this initiative, baby banks across the UK will be able to support even more families through this particularly challenging time."

"In everything, then, do to others as you would have them do to you. For this is the essence of the Law and the Prophets."¹

@skippyv20 I remember when you told us to spot the difference. No photos of "the wife" out shopping with mom for baby items.🧐

¹Matthew 7:12

[themculibrary]

Christmas Eve Masterlist

A Very Barton Christmas (ao3) - angelshotgun T, 5k

Summary: It’s nearly Christmas when Kate breaks her leg and Clint totes her back to the Barton Family Farm to heal. Hijinks ensue.

Christmas Eve Will Find Me (ao3) - kahn steve/tony T, 11k

Summary: Steve walked into his apartment to find Tony sitting on his kitchen counter, cross-legged, facing the door and flicking his thumbs against the screen of his futuristic phone in a way that meant he was either playing a game or hacking the security of some undoubtedly highly dangerous and deeply hostile organization.

“Hi, Honey!” Tony trilled without looking up. “Welcome back!”

Steve comes home.

Clint Barton and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Christmas Eve (ao3) - coulsons-hawk (allyoop) clint/phil, steve/bucky T, 6k

Summary: A holiday adventure with the Avengers in which nothing goes right on Christmas Eve; a dragon destroys an island, two boys from Brooklyn go missing, and all Clint Barton wants for Christmas is thirty minutes of peace on earth.

evergreen (ao3) - OnlyForward G, 24k

Summary: the story of how Tony Stark is Scrooge reincarnated and how Peter Parker is determined to change that

ft. civil war angst, tony being lonely as fuck, fun christmas activities and a nice happy ending perfect for the holiday season

Feelings at Christmastime (ao3) - nadir_zenith matt/foggy G, 1k

Summary: Foggy invites Matt to come to Christmas (Eve) Dinner with the Nelsons.

Fell For You (ao3) - sadsongssaysomuch steve/bucky E, 4k

Summary: Bucky and Steve have always been best friends, but on Christmas Eve, Bucky wakes up to realize that the way he feels about Steve is more than just friendly.

Find Ourselves in the Winter Snow (ao3) - rainpaint leo/jemma T, 6k

Summary: After a whirlwind of packing and rushing to the airport and literally running to board the plane, two small children who think the entire thing is great fun in tow, here they are. An hour from Jemma’s parents’ house, which is still too far for her mum, who doesn’t drive in a centimeter of snow, much less the several that likely cover every road between here and Sheffield.

So in all likelihood they're stuck at the airport. With two small children. The night before Christmas Eve.

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like a Hallmark Christmas Movie (ao3) - cakeisnotpie clint/phil G, 13k

Summary: Phil Coulson is determined to get the big promotion; all he needs to do is spend a few days in a small town to close the deal then he'll be back in the Big Apple. Doesn't matter that it's two days before Christmas or that his best friend, Nick Fury, believes schmaltzy Hallmark movies are real life, he is not going to meet a handsome guy, fall madly in love, and move to the middle of nowhere.

Enter Clint Barton, dog trainer who runs a senior dog sanctuary and has biceps to die for.

Add a business mystery to solve.

Phil just might discover his happily ever after after all.

Memories that last forever (ao3) - ArabellaAM steve/tony G, 2k

Summary: Tony sighed, turning around all the way and asking with a tired, raspy voice, “Why am I hugging a pillow on Christmas Eve, Rogers?”

Or, Steve can't sleep and Tony asks him to tell him a story about his mom.

Mission - Steve and Bucky’s Best Christmas Ever (ao3) - LightningStriking steve/bucky G, 10k

Summary: Bucky has a plan. A carefully constructed, and meticulously plotted plan. Of how to give his best friend Steve the most wonderful, festive, and happy Christmas season ever. Culminating in a declaration of love, which hopefully will be returned. Can Bucky pull it off, and receive the best Christmas present of all - Steve as his boyfriend??

More Than Gravity (ao3) - JenTheSweetie steve/tony T, 20k

Summary: “Aw, time travel, no.”

On Christmas Eve, Tony came unstuck in time.

no sound, it’s all around (ao3) - winterkillz sam/bucky G, 9k

Summary: “They’re my relatives.” Bucky corrects bitterly and quietly. “I don’t… I haven’t had a family in a while.”

Sam pauses from his food and stares at Bucky. He would say that Bucky has always been an honorary Wilson, but he knows what he meant. Sam sips on his drink, making sure that he doesn’t drip orange soda on his newly dry-cleaned suit.

“You want me to go with you?” Sam offers instead.

(Or, Bucky gets invited to spend Christmas with Rebecca’s side of the family with Sam tagging along. Feelings ensue.)

On This Winter’s Night (ao3) - athena4lynn G, 6k

Summary: Five Times Clint Barton Found Something He Needed In A Church On Christmas Eve

Princess Perfect Pony Palace (ao3) -74days steve/bucky T, 3k

Summary: It’s Christmas Eve and Natasha’s daughter has just admitted to her parents that she asked Santa for a Princess Perfect Pony Palace. Which is currently out of stock in every store within 50 miles. It’s time for Uncle Bucky to step up and deliver the most wanted gift of the season - he just didn’t think he’d have to fight a hot blond for it.

Saved My Heart For You (ao3) - pensversusswords steve/tony T, 8k

Summary: Tony had been trying to propose for months, but it turned out that post-battle on Christmas Eve was the best time to pop the question.

Sorry About All The Sex Toys (ao3) - lola381pce clint/phil T, 2k

Summary: Clint draws Coulson’s name for the Avengers Secret Santa which in itself isn’t a bad thing. It’s just unfortunate he uses the same wrapping paper for Coulson’s gift as he does for Natasha’s. Regrettably, he doesn’t realise his mistake until the Secret Santa gift reveals on Christmas Eve with all the Avengers.

The Best Day of the Year (ao3) - orphan_account pepper/tony G, 2k

Summary: Tony finally mans up and proposes to Pepper on Christmas Eve.

Tony’s Christmas Carol (ao3) - kickcows pepper/tony G, 11k

Summary: Tony Stark was a mean, crotchety miser. He never felt he was doing wrong, until three spirits came to visit him on Christmas Eve, showing him otherwise. Or, a retelling of ‘A Christmas Carol’ set in the Marvel universe.

When the Snow Melts (ao3) - emptydistractions steve/bucky E, 4k

Summary: It’s the first time Bucky’s been off suppressants in nearly a century and all Steve wants is for his mate to be okay. Luckily, Christmas Eve has a little surprise in store for them.

You Are My Gift (ao3) - coeurlregina peggy/steve G, 757

Summary: 24th December, 1944

Captain America and The Howling Commandos were blessed with a moment's reprieve after their victory in the Battle of Metz (which came to an end on 13th December). They were sent back to Camp Lehigh to recoup and wait for further instructions, lucky for them, they were able to celebrate Christmas eve before being shipped off in the early morning.

[zaidshair]

ABOUT

[ KUKKUTARMA ]  [ INSPO]

BASICS: Name: Zaid Shair (Zah-eed Shayh-yeer) Age: 41years old. he's a cancer that's all I know so far Gender & Pronouns: Cis man - He/Him Place of birth: Sheffield, England PERSONAGE: Previous occupation: executive chef and owner of two fine-dining restaurants: - in London, Mango (successful) - in New York, Chutney (derisive) Powers: plasma blasts. Zaid passively absorbs cosmic energy, like a living storage cell. Energy must be released by force. Crystal bracelet: green malachite First impressions: Zaid can be intense, but soft-spoken and calm. He knows how to be friendly and personable. He can let his emotions get the best of him. He does have a Mr Hyde to his Dr Jekyll, but that only comes out in certain circumstances

PLOT IDEAS:

cooking baba: an obvious outcome for Zaid on the island. His passion for cooking is greatly diminished, but needs must for survival on a strange island, and everyone knows food boosts morale. Something to do with cuisine, be it connections pre-island, hunting/gathering, planning/rationing, food-sickness, cooking, etc!

fwb: Zaid is hurting, they're hurting too. good thing they're both attractive, because then pain becomes beautiful and sexy, right? power play: figuring out powers! working together or against each other! lots of room for experimentation here adventure time: I love adventure plots and there's ample grounds to explore and get in trouble together!

APPEARANCE: Height: 5'8" Eyes : brown Hair: black, worn short. Trimmed beard and moustache Build: compact Tattoos: tattoos on his arms, tbd

BACKGROUND: Nationality: Pakistani-British Family: Three grandparents, two parents, multiple younger siblings (tbd), loads of uncles, aunties, cousins, etc. A big family that he never quite got close to, except for that one unmarried quirky-dirky Jotie-Auntie.

BULLET POINTS:

- Zaid, eldest child in his family, first brought shame to the Shairs when he decided to eschew a degree in commerce, and went to cooking school instead - Coming out to his family was somehow less shameful than his career choice, because he still liked girls, mashallah! Zaid didn't mind the various arranged dates, but his ambition overshadowed finding a match. -He moved to Paris, then London in his early 20s to apprentice in restaurants, growing in rank and gaining respect as a dedicated, hard working line cook. He took an executive chef job at a boutique hotel in London in his late 20s - His first point of pride was opening his fine-dining restaurant Mango in 2015 in touristy Soho. Lauded in reviews for his insightful, delightful take on Pakistani cuisine, Mango became one of the trendiest eateries in London. - He refrained from the allure of 'celebrity chef' despite network and social media offers, aiming instead for that Michelin star status. He just wanted one, he was modest. - Gaining that one star should've been the biggest highlight of his life, but it was eclipsed when he met the real and only love of his life (so Zaid claims), Tej Virani. - In Zaid's mind, their romance was a firestarter, burning quick, bright, and hot. Zaid did everything to keep Tej living a comfortable life, and was proud of how he oh-so magnificently balanced work duties around Tej's whimsical needs. - After gaining his Michelin star, everything in Zaid's life seemed to bottleneck: the unexpected arrival of Tej's niece Inika, his PR agent's push for Zaid to move towards celebrity status (write that book! guest judge on Masterchef and Chopped! live-feed the cooking seminars at schools!), his own personal temptation to open a new restaurant in New York. - Zaid was convinced he could do it all. He packed up Tej and their little ward Inika and emigrated to New York. Surely he could pull this all together, with his usual efficiency and drive. - Surely, he could not. COVID happened. His relationship suffered, celebrity hopes were locked down; and with that, his new restaurant plans suffered. Chtuney eventually opened with a whimper rather than a bang, and the restaurant limped along for a year under poor leadership and red tape, as Zaid spiralled further into disarray in his personal life. Tej slipped out of his grasp and maybe it was for the better. Maybe not. - When he finally cracked from stress, he cracked hard. In a fit of spite, he stole Inika from Tej, headed to Montauk, and promised they'd never return. He and Inika would start a new life, back in London - no! In Sheffield! - and Tej would never see them again. - Tej's plaintive convincing made Zaid relinquish his mad plans, but by then it was too late. Zaid was so focused on Tej and their argument, he wasn't paying attention to the child. They lost Inika to the night waters of Montauk Beach. The child was gone, drowned, dead and Zaid was inconsolable and blamed Tej for all of it. - The funeral was for an empty casket, which was in many ways deeply symbolic for Zaid over the next few months of solitude and grief. - His New York restaurant in shambles, his relationship had long sailed. Zaid settled into trying to recoup his losses in New York. After which he intended to return to London with his tail between his legs. But instead, Zaid ended up on an entirely different island.

[cheesewritings]

Blackbird, Fly

Oh man...writing this chapter was cathartic as fuck. As many of you know I lost a close friend back in June and I channeled that trauma into Eowyn's trauma. Did I cry while writing this? Yes. Are you going to cry while reading? Also yes.

Summary: A flashback chapter that gives us some insight into Eowyn's trauma. Warnings: loss of a friend, loss of a brother in arms, loss, death, mild gore, grief, trauma, language

Taglist: @etherealglimmer @figmentofquinn, @quinnypixie (send a message to be added)

Fall 1985

"GO GO GO GO GO" shouts Eowyn as she directs her squad into the underdark on their latest recon mission. "Avoid the vine tentacle things. Touch it and you're dead, and remember the first rule." "Take cover or die" her squad answers. "Let's go boys" Eowyn calls as she jumps from the plane. She pulls her chute and as she descends she feels weightless. Ever since she was small she wanted to fly. She remembers when she and her cousin Sarah played fairies and she tried to fly off of the swingset and broke her wrist. The squad hits the ground and begins to scout. "Don't step on the vines!" she shouts as Sheffield almost walks right over one. He checks himself and realigns as they continue to scout through the desolate wasteland. "Look for survivors, and any evidence on this place. We know the bare minimum so any intel will benefit." she orders. She and Sheffield go left while Larson and Howell go right.

Eowyn and Sheffield approach a house, a house that seems familiar to her. The duo carefully approaches the house to investigate the mysterious glow seeping from the windows and cracks under the doors. Meticulously avoiding the vines they quickly learned were part of a hive mind, Eowyn and Sheffield slowly make their way to the front door and push it open. “Jesus fuck that’s bright what is that?!” Sheffield exclaims. “I have no idea. Goggles on.” She responds. They creep into the desolate living space, observing a home that is demolished yet frozen in time. “This doesn’t seem real.” Eowyn mutters. As Eowyn carefully moves throughout the home she spots a photograph on a table. She recognizes the girl in the photo as someone she knew from her childhood. "Barb.." Eowyn sighs. She had heard of her friend's passing shortly after it occurred, shame fills her as she remembers not even going to the funeral.

"Hey boss, we might have something over here." Sheffield calls over the coms. Eowyn makes her way over to him, watching her step as she meets him at his location. "What have you got Shef?" she asks. Sheffield just points up to a glowing mass anchored between the ceiling and the wall. Eowyn clicks on a body camera so she can capture the image for analysis. "Tread carefully for sample collection." she states. "Gotcha." Sheffield replies. He carefully opens his pack to pull out the tubes and gently swabs the glowing mass to collect the gloopy substance that coats it. "Watch yourself Shef." Eowyn says, noticing as he swabs the mass begins to pulse ever so slightly. She holds her breath as he puts away his equipment, and once he's clear, she calls over the coms, "Alright boys, we've got some good intel. Let's get out of here and head home." Eowyn and Sheffield make their way back to the plane to meet up with Larson and Howell.

The small squad loads up their equipment and themselves into the jet; however, Eowyn is still very much on edge. She feels a slight rumble beneath her feet as she begins to climb up into the jet. "Howell, start her up. We've got to go." she orders. Howell begins to raise the jet slightly as Eowyn and Sheffield grab hold of the ropes to climb their way up. The earth below them rumbles again and the house they had just investigated begins to glow even brighter. "Howell, can you get us out any faster? I don't like the look of what's below me!" she yells. Sheffield has made it to the landing and reaches to help Eowyn up. The rumbling grows louder, the glowing brighter, and suddenly the house the team had just occupied erupts with a cacophony of roars and vine like appendages break their way through the roof. "HOP!" Sheffield yells. "Shit shit shit shit. Not today not today!" Eowyn mutters to herself. Sheffield reaches for the rope Eowyn is dangling from as she swings to carefully avoid the tentacles.

Sheffield finally reaches her and pulls her up into the jet, screaming as he lifts her. Eowyn lands on her back and Sheffield on top of her. "Thanks Shef. I wasn't sure I was gonna make it!" she says. Sheffield is quiet as he rolls off of her and that's when Eowyn notices the blood. "Shef! You're injured! Howell, get us out of here fast. Larson get me the med kit." she orders. "No no no no no, Shef you're gonna be fine okay look at me. Keep your eyes on me huh? Let me see." She cuts open his shirt to examine the wound. "It's pretty bad huh Hop?" he chuckles sadly. "Shef, no! You're gonna be fine. You're okay." she whispers frantically. "Larson where's the fucking med kit?!" "Hop, it's too bad. He went right through me." Sheffield says. They both look down at the wound, and sure enough he's been run through. "No no no no no. Sheffield you can't die on me. Not today, remember?" she says as tears begin to fill her eyes.

"Hey, Win listen to me." Sheffield starts. Tears fall as he uses the nickname reserved for outside of missions. "You're going to do great things. You're going to live, destroy this hellhole and then you're going to be happy. You hear me?! Please be happy for me. You're my little sister, Hop. You always will be. I love you kid, you hear me? I love you." Eowyn can't control the flow of tears as Sheffield cries with her. "I love you too Shef. You're my big brother. I'm sorry, this is all my fault." she mumbles. "Hop this isn't your fault. We knew the risks going into this, okay? This is not your fault." he says as he reaches for her head and gently pulls it down toward him. "Look me in the eyes Win and say it." Eowyn reluctantly opens her eyes and sees the light of Sheffield's dimming by the second. "Its…it's not my fault." "Good, now c'mere" he says as he pulls her to his chest. Eowyn is now sobbing as he starts to sing.

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night

Take these broken wings and learn to fly

All your life

You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Blackbird singing in the dead of night

Take these sunken eyes and learn to see

All your life

You were only waiting for this moment to be free"

With his last breath, Sheffield says "Fly high, blackbird." And Eowyn shatters as they cross through the portal back to base. Medics rush to them as they land and her father has to pry her away from Sheffield's body. He just holds her and she clings to him sobbing, her tears leaving lines down her grime covered face. Eli holds her tight and presses a kiss to the top of her head, thinking to himself that this is the last thing he wanted his daughter to have to deal with.

Three days later, Eowyn is building a pyre so they can burn Sheffield's body. Her father tries to talk her out of it but knowing his daughter she won't relent. As Sheffield's body is placed on the pyre and the pyre lit, Eowyn stands and stares into the flames. Her father stands behind her and places a hand on her shoulder. Her stare hardens when she says "That place has taken too much from us and those we care about. I say we nuke the son of a bitch."

[chamberlainsremovals]

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[crjupdates]

Carly Rae Jepsen Dances Her Way Through Heartbreak on 'The Loneliest Time'

The latest album from the Canadian pop goddess delivers high-gloss pop with serious emotional punch

Rolling Stone • Rob Sheffield • October 20, 2022 • Photo: Meredith Jenks

Carly Rae Jepsen is one of the most exquisite joys of being a pop fan over the past decade. The Canadian pop goddess is one of our most underrated treasures—ten years after the world fell in love with this girl in “Call Me Maybe,” she still hasn’t made a single weak record or failed move. The Loneliest Time is her most emotionally adventurous music yet—high-gloss post-bubblegum synth-pop that packs a serious punch even at its fizziest. Carly Rae just keeps dancing her way through the heartbreak, a totally relatable adult romantic with too many feelings but zero illusions.

The Loneliest Time has the shiny electro-perk sheen of her 2015 classic Emotion, but more of the melancholy of 2019’s Dedicated. By now, she’s over every brand of bullshit, with hilariously blasé song titles like “Go Find Yourself or Whatever” and “No Thinking Over the Weekend.” These are the songs of a woman who’s been through some drama, but refuses to give up on the brighter days and hotter nights she deserves.

Jepsen had a miserable time during the pandemic, and she’s not the type of celebrity to lie about that. She lost her beloved grandmother, the woman who first taught her the joys of wearing feather boas; travel restrictions meant she couldn’t travel to grieve with her family. So even the most delightfully frivolous pop kicks here feel powerfully cathartic.

“Beach House” is a deliciously nasty tour of serial monogamy in the era of dating-app addiction. She scrolls from one worthless boy to another: the one whose mom fixed the mood for their date, the one who begs to borrow money, the one who wants to harvest her organs. She trips from Boy Number One to “Boy Number I Can’t Even Count Anymore.” 

She goes looking for romance out west, in the mellow California dreaming of “Joshua Tree” and “Western Wind.” She also hits the clubs, looking for emotional rescue in the dance-floor lust of “Bad Thing Twice.” The peak moment: “Shooting Star,” a Chic-style roller-disco groove where she chirps, “I might sleep with you tonight… Just because I still believe in my New York City!” It climaxes in her vocoder confessions at the end, where she blows all her fears away, bubbling over with excitement as she chants, “Do you wanna? Do you wanna?”

She duets with Rufus Wainwright in “The Loneliest Time,” where she sings about feeling like she’s in a Shakespeare tragedy. She also gets hung up on a fickle lover in “Go Find Yourself or Whatever,” over moody sitar-style guitar from collaborator Rostam Batmanglij. But for all the broken romances on The Loneliest Time, it’s an uplifting experience. Carly Rae Jepsen might have endured a couple too many sad girl summers lately. But she’s determined to throw herself a hell of a hot girl autumn.

[mira-nicodiangelo-grey]

I posted 3,570 times in 2022

That's 1,083 more posts than 2021!

44 posts created (1%)

3,526 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@congolife

@yonemurishiroku

@juilletdeux

@inthetags

@rowanrowland

I tagged 3,423 of my posts in 2022

Only 4% of my posts had no tags

#art - 900 posts

#nico di angelo - 567 posts

#artists on tumblr - 552 posts

#uquiz - 448 posts

#beautiful - 340 posts

#jason grace - 328 posts

#lil cuties - 292 posts

#bwahahahhahahaha - 281 posts

#jasico - 252 posts

#bwahahahaha - 246 posts

Longest Tag: 141 characters

#also: i don’t actually know how old merlin is.. this is me interpreting him as ~19 and arthur as ~21. if i’m wrong please don’t come at me 😔

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

write me your words of wonder

you want to be thought of with intent, for someone to sit down and want to share their thoughts with you specifically. and their thoughts about you, even more. for someone to Know you, or at least desire the knowledge. for them to write it out in a way that you can read as quickly or slowly as you desire. that you can reread again and again, or lock in a box and never read after that first quick consumption. you crave that tangibility. and the small moments that lead up to the letter being in your hand. to be told, 'it's in the mail' and then to have the simple joy of checking the mailbox to see if it has come today. to hold the envelope and feel the love within. there is a purpose of intent within physically written words, and it patches the parts of you that feel like you aren't worth thinking about. my darling, know that you are. you are worth intentional thought and cursive letters and an envelope sealed with a kiss.

4 notes - Posted June 30, 2022

#4

WITCH Season 2 - Nerissa’s revenge Rewrite

So this is a continuation of how CHYKN’s characterization is different from comics to tv show. And I fell into a tangent about how I’d change the tv show if I got to reboot WITCH. I don’t have ideas for Season 1 yet but I have stuff for season 2.

I am starting to think they tried to fit way too much in season two which is why it flopped but I get it. They wanted to make an action packed season like the first one but also darker. I can think of ideas on how to pay homage to the ex guardians and giving each a nice story to get to know their characters better. It would have been nice to have an episode or two that focused on the five of them and their stories. Perhaps seeing them in school, how they learned of their destiny and how they worked together as a team. It would also be nice to have like hints in the background like how they do in the Owl House. Eventually we could get to the tragedy and the falling out. In the end of the two parter, we’d see how the remaining three decided to remain friends but to distance from each other, a big mistake they didn’t realize until Nerissa came back and corrupted each of them. We could combine elements from the Tv show and the comics. Season two would obviously focus on trauma. The WITCH girls but their stuff would be paralleled by CHYKN’s story. We’d learn about the old guardians and have the new ones learn from the old ones’ mistakes which is what the comics emphasized.

Kadma and Halinor are the couple of the group. Cassidy and Nerissa were star crossed lovers doomed from the beginning but Kalinor were the envy of all of Sheffield. And it’s 2022 so we want healthy wlw representation up in here. These two are all about battling the patriarchy and its backwards, archaic, hypocritic rules. They could be the foundation of the group. They knew and loved each since elementary when Kadma first moved to Heatherfield. Then they met Nerissa, a queer baby they had to take under their wing and the adorable Cassidy who easily melted their hearts and soundly absorbed her into their group. Yan Lin was the final addition to the team and they all loved her greatly as their newest sister. Kadma had reservations about becoming a guardian but it’s Halinor who convinced her how much good they could with this opportunity beyond just Earth. The Guardians have more than often been a group of magical women doing good across the infinite dimensions, how could Halinor say no to that. While growing up, they’d start the Rising Star Foundation. The two were guardians and life partners. No one could really pull them apart. They were Earth and Fire melded together. Nothing was more precious to them than each other. Nothing but their fellow guardians. They were all so incredibly close in a way only other guardian groups could understand. Which is why the tragedy with Nerissa and Cassidy shook their couple hard. Without their heart, even the foundation crumbled. Yan Lin was all about harmony and she desperately wanted to keep that but Kalinin began drifting apart but that was in vain. They just didn’t work as cohesively as a trio. They stood together for many things starting with denouncing the oracle but things just weren’t the same anymore. Kadma began hardened and dispassioned about magic and Halinor no longer recognized the women she once loved and stopped believing in Kadma. The final straw that promptly led to their breakup was Kadma taking up the crown of Zamballah. They were going to leave the whole magical business behind and Kadma takes this up? Halinor and Yan Lin end up becoming a duo for a few more years until they both decide it’s time to end their guardianship. Yan Lin stays in Heatherfield while Halinor moves away. Kadma visits her old friends but quite rarely. And Halinor and Yan Lin are called from time to time to Kandrakar to discuss certain issues. Halinor May still have reservations but she still recognizes the good and honor Kandrakar does, even years after she spoke out against the oracle. I won’t write everything I have planned for season two here but I know I still want Nerissa to come after her old friends and collect them for her team of guardians to take over the magical universe. Nerissa would want to capture Cassidy’s soul first. But when couldn’t corrupt her soul, she let her go and created an Altermere that got to live and love for a bit while she collected the others. I imagine she’d attack Halinor and Kadma together. She’ll threaten Zamballa and make a show of it on Kandrakar. Halinor would be the first to fall into Nerissa’s corruption and this is how she gets revealed as a threat. Next up, Zamballa where Nerissa still preys upon Kadma’s inflated arrogance from years untreated grief and trauma. She could have used her love for Halinor but she knew without Halinor to balance her out, Kadma is practically defenseless. Next she goes to Yan Lin. Yan Lin was known for her strength of character too. Nerissa couldn’t corrupt her either and was forced to build a second altermere. This use of flagrant use of magic to copy a life distabilizes Nerissa further. Then easily she corrupts Cassidy’s altermere.

The team’s all back together and with double WITCH’s power. But in time, Irma wakes them up from Nerissa’s thrall and more in fighting begins with the five of them. It seems like Nerissa is about to lose when she absorbs all four of her friends into Meridian’s heart and gains all of their powers. She continues to build an army against Kandrakar when Will remembers she wants the heart of Kandrakar specifically. The girls have managed to delay her takeover but for how long. In the current circumstances, it’s best to just give Nerissa the heart and she gives up the heart of Zamballa. That’s where real Cassidy steps in with her copy of the heart, her Star. This gives the girls the power to return to Kandrakar and fight Nerissa. Nerissa brings terror and nightmare to the temple like in the comics but what she didn’t count on was the heart of meridian cracking and the ex guardians + real Yan Lin and Elyon escape (yes she was trapped in there too like in the show). This makes Nerissa susceptible to the Terrors she unleashed on everyone too. During the nightmare sequences she gave everyone, we get to see what unknown forces pushed Nerissa to evil and we get to understand her personal traumas better. In this sequence the old and new guardians come together to fight Nerissa and her goons. The new guardians are fighting to defeat her, the old ones are fighting to possibly heal their old friend. They nearly succeed when altermere Cassidy gets killed. This awakens Nerissa’s heart and her evil side gets detached from her long enough for the new guardians to destroy Nerissa for good. Real Cassidy appears and absorbs altermere Cassidy which allows her to linger just a bit longer in the real world. The dreamscape ends and everyone is back in the temple. The old guardians gather around a dying Nerissa who’s back to the self before she was corrupted. She acknowledges the horrors she unleashed upon the world and apologizes for destroying their group, saying she let her heart decay since childhood.Cassidy mentions the two of them were opposites on the good and evil scales and purely existed to balance each other. Kadma asks where did she hear that, the oracle? No Cassidy learned that in death. She helps her friends see that their story, albeit tragic and painful made way to a beautiful future and to an even more powerful group of guardians. Had they not been, A darkness would have led to the fall of kandrakar and WITCH would not have existed. Cassidy urges Kadma and Halinor to make up, because they still love each other dearly. Nerissa couldn’t have corrupted either if they weren’t each other’s greatness strength and weakness. Cassidy can’t linger much longer but she smiles brightly telling her friends she’s missed them all greatly, and while she’s ecstatic Nerissa will be joining her, she will wait patiently for the remaining three to cross over. Nerissa finds it beautiful that she gets to end her life with the people dearest to her heart in their most beautiful selves, exactly how she held them in her memory. The five ex guardians hug one last time uttering a saying they hold dearly to their hearts (like an inside joke). Their trauma may not be completely healed, but at least it’s not unbearable to think about anymore.

By the end of the season, Cassidy and Nerissa remain blissful in death, Yan Lin is still living her life with her granddaughter and new guardians in Heatherfield while also making plans to join Kandrakar, and Halinor and Kadma are back together, living in Fadden Hills as advisors to Rising Star but also coming to Heatherfield to visit Yan Lin from time to time.

4 notes - Posted May 31, 2022

#3

THEY ARE BACK FOR A BIT, LIVE AT HAMPTON COURT PALACE! I AM SO HAPPY.

I am so excited 😆

22 notes - Posted March 20, 2022

#2

SIX THE MUSICAL FILMED!!!

With the original west end cast too. This exactly what I wanted when it involves SIX. I am so happy. I wonder where will the recording be released. Anyways I’m here for it.

31 notes - Posted June 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Thalia approving Jasico

Since I can’t find it, I’ll rewrite it myself just so I know it’s on my blog. It’s such a good concept: When Jason and Nico got together, you’d think Thalia would give Nico the shovel talk. So it came to everyone’s surprise that it was Jason who got the rough treatment.

Thalia: look here you little shit. This angel has been through so much. He deserves some happiness in his life so if you do anything to break his heart, I will personally escort you to Tartarus and dump you there.

Jason, sweating nervously: You’re MY sister Thals, WTF?

Just more Nico di Angelo Protection Squad shenanigans cause we deserve to see it.

36 notes - Posted March 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

May 3, 2023 edit: I’ve been fucking looking for this post. Why did it take me this long? The year in review tag didn’t appear when i searched for it.

[tyjkkvape]

How to Pack a Pipe: A Step-by-Step Guide for Beginners

How To Properly Pack A Tobacco Pipe

Today I want to discuss how to properly pack a pipe; a very important skill for every pipe smoker.Many new pipe smokers today face the situation where the fresh pipe tobacco they buy either barely burns or goes out after a few puffs. The most common reason is improper pipe packing, and now I want to provide you with all my experience so that you can also enjoy the wonderful experience of perfect packing.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROrr_CnmWMQ

What tools do I need to properly pack a tobacco pipe?

When it comes to properly packing a tobacco pipe, some basic tools are essential.First, you need a pipe tool, which is a multifunctional tool used to tamp, scrape, and clean pipes. Here I recommend the MUXIANG 3-In-1 Pipe Tool.The MUXIANG 3-in-1 Pipe Tool packs the three essentials - tamper, reamer, and pick - into one little accessory. The tamper lets you press the tobacco evenly into the bowl as you smoke for consistent burns. The reamer pokes and scrapes out ash, dottle, and cake buildup in the bowl and shank. And the pick cleanly clears gunk from the airways and stem.It's handy for sure, but doesn't have the same performance and durability as fancier tools. Separate dedicated tampers and reamers like the affordable Czech tamper and Buntner reamer actually work better in my experience. The Czech tool's shape gives you maximum leverage when tamping mid-smoke. And the sharp blades on the Buntner reamer cut back buildup way better than generic multi-tool ones for removing cake.You can also get beautiful all-in-one tools handcrafted like Sheffield pipe knives and Laguiole. But as a new pipe smoker, you probably don't need all those bells and whistles yet. The MUXIANG gives you a cheap way to get the basic trio of tamper, reamer, and pick in a small portable size.More seasoned hobbyists may upgrade eventually. But this is a solid starter option for any new piper looking for an affordable, handy 3-in-1 maintenance kit.

What is the best way to pack a tobacco pipe?

three pinch method

How you pack your pipe is really about personal preference and changes over time, my friend. Lots of beginners start with the basic three-pinch method, just sprinkling in pinches of tobacco to fill the bowl and gently pressing with a thumb.But here's a key tip: always start loose and tamp gently at first. For the bottom two-thirds of the bowl, lightly sprinkle your ribbon cuts or rubbed flakes and pack with minimal pressure, just letting the tamper weight press it down. Ribbons can handle more density than delicate flakes. Ribbons tend to spring back like crumpled newspaper, while pressing flakes too hard can clog the airflow. Pack flakes lightly like stacking flat newspaper pages. Go easy on tamping flakes since they pack denser with less space between. Over-tamping quickly makes the draw too tight. So for best results, pack ribbons like crumpled newspaper and flakes like flat newspaper pages.Being gentle on the initial tamp ensures an open draw from beginning to end. Over-packing can cause tongue bite, sore throat, and a hot smoke. Underpacking makes the tobacco burn fast. A good pack has slight natural resistance but not too much effort on the draw.

Frank Method

Another popular packing method is the "Frank method," where you softly drop shredded tobacco from above so it gravity-settles in the bowl. This gives great results, but you still gotta check it and make tweaks.The thing is, as you gain more experience, you will find that some techniques may be more suitable for you than this method, such as the gravity method I have been using now.

gravity method

One of the easiest ways to pack your pipe for an even, seamless smoke is the gravity method, my friend. Just start by putting some shredded tobacco in your palm. Then invert the bowl over it and gently press down while moving in circles. This lets gravity naturally suck the tobacco up into the bowl evenly as you go. Once full, use your thumb to lightly tamp it down and check the draw to make sure airflow is good. Finally, sprinkle a little loose shreds on top and gently tamp with just your thumb. Give the draw one final check - it should have just the right resistance.This packing method takes out all the guesswork of other techniques. The tobacco lights perfectly and burns nice and slow all the way to the bottom. Gravity packing is quick, clean, and always gives you an ideal smoke. No more fussy multiple steps or uneven packing.Give it a try next time you want an effortless, consistent bowl. I think you'll be amazed at how easily it packs and how evenly it smokes. No packing method is easier or more effective in my experience. Read the full article

[renewingagain]

monday 12 august 2024 // 22:14pm

feeling some emotions today

tomorrow is my last day at work!!!! and then i leave sheffield IN 5 DAYS

wow i havent even started packing yet gosshhhh i cba lol but gotta be done

hate that i keep writing about benjamin lol but gotta be honest w myself anyway he appears on my insta every now and then cus i still follow a couple of his mates .. hes in london now i think which is amazing to see but hes essentially living what i wanna do now and ugh i still think about him !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i miss his smell

anyway im just also feeling lots of emotions because the future is still soooo uncertain.....honestly have no idea what im gonna be doing when i move and idk its scary, im looking forward to having a break but its still scary

i am extremely grateful that i can take some time away from work and live at home with my parents who wont charge me any rent or anything like that. but im still scared.

lets think. what am i scared of?

im scared i'll never get in to the career i want to get into, im scared about living at home and maybe being a bit depressed again, im scared about hiding myself a bit ... its not like i can have a boy around or anything like that

but again, what is just a few months of grafting and working out a plan in comparison to the absolute rest of my life!

i have a lot of friends who care about me and a lot of family, i need to stop feeling alone. i am safe and well and i am loved. but sometimes i do feel lonely and i dont know why. is it just the affection that i am missing

i am very nervous about leaving sheffield because it is such a big change, i dont know when i will get my next level of independence. but it is incredibly important to remain positive in times like this. i think it is better to be optimistic then pessimistic. its never really that good to be catastrophizing all the time because you truly never know what is going to happen in life.. you have to learn to let go of that control

i know i dont really believe in God that much any more but there is a small part of me that still does, and to let go and to let God can actually bring some comfort in to it all...

i just hope i have enough money to get through the next few months and i hope things work out

WHO CARES if i have to take a low paying apprenticeship. who cares! i have vision, drive, ambition. i can create goals. again, i want to be very grateful that i can live somewhere for cheap and do an apprenticeship and start over. not many people get that opportunity!!!!!!!!!!!

i am looking forward to looking after myself when i head home. no drinking, back on running and working out. NO SUGAR. strictly water and getting fit

music stuff will absolutely work out too :)

everything is going to be ok

[ravenhillremovalsunitedkingdom]

Can Commercial Removal Companies Move It Equipment Safely?

Moving a whole office or business place can be very hard, especially when it includes delicate and costly IT stuff. Things like servers, computers, and other tech items need to be moved carefully so they don't get damaged. So, can commercial removal companies move IT equipment safely? 

Specialized training and expertise

One big reason why Ravenhill Removals can transport IT equipment safely is because they have special training and skills. They understand how to unplug, pack up, move, and set up IT equipment without causing harm. When you choose a moving company, ask about their experience with handling IT gear and any special training their workers have received.

Proper packing materials

Proper packing is very important for protecting IT equipment when moving. Commercial removal Sheffield uses really good, special packing materials to keep delicate items safe. This has anti-static bubble wrap, special crates made to fit, and soft packing materials. 

Custom crating solutions

For very valuable or delicate IT equipment, using custom crates is often the smartest choice. Commercial removal Glossop can make crates that fit your equipment's exact size perfectly. Custom crating is very helpful for things like servers and big monitors.

Secure transportation

Another important thing for safely moving IT equipment is secure transportation. Commercial removal Sheffield has vehicles that come with special suspension systems to reduce shaking and bouncing. Using straps and padding to secure the equipment inside the vehicle also makes sure it remains safe while traveling.

Insurance and liability

Even with the best careful steps, accidents can still happen. This is why Commercial removal Glossop provides many insurance choices. This insurance protects against any damage that happens during the move. 

Detailed inventory management

Keeping track of all your IT equipment during a move is very important. Usually, commercial removal companies provide thorough inventory management services for this purpose. They make a list of each thing, writing down how it looks before moving. 

Commercial removal Sheffield