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gyaruoriki · 14 days

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i had sex with a demon!?

incubus!nishimura riki x fem!witch!reader | smut

wc: 2.3k

warnings: incubus!riki, witch!reader, noncon elements, creampie, vaginal fingering, oral (fem receiving), mating press, cervix kissing, multiple orgasms, squirting, rikis a bit mean.. not proofread, sawry!

DON’T LIKE? DON’T READ!

“okay, don’t fuck this up ____” i whisper to myself as i light the final candle.

halloween night. i know what you’re thinking, girls your age are out partying and having a good time dressing as slutty as they could with little to no consequences. and you’re at home.

in all honesty, i would’ve joined them. smoked a bit, fooled around and maybe even fucked someone. but tonight i have better priorities. i am going to summon a demon.

i’ve been planning this for months and tonight is my only chance to get it right until next year and i’m determined to summon my first demon as soon as possible.

i mentally prepare myself before closing my eyes and reciting the saying i had memorized and chanting a name three times.

“noa. noa. noa.”

once i opened my eyes the first thing im greeted with is darkness. my candles had went out leaving a smokey scent. however before i could react my lights had began to flicker and the room started to lightly rumble against my bottom.

soon everything comes to a stop and i feel a breeze along my back as goosebumps slowly appeared across my skin.

“___..” i heard an ominous voice whisper in my ear in a low tone. slowly, ghosting touches begin to linger on my skin. a hand, trailing up my arms and shoulders leaving almost burning touches against them. the almost freezing room feeling hot as my skin burns to the touch.

not quite confident in answering to the voice, i hesitantly respond, “who are you?”

the voice chuckles sinisterly before responding. “im the one you called, of course.”

soon after that response the candles suddenly relight themselves revealing the mysterious figure in all its glory. a 6’3 Japanese boy dressed in a black muscle tee gray sweatpants with slightly chipped horns atop his head.

“riki?”

why is riki, my classmate, standing in this middle of the room? And more importantly why am i becoming aroused being in his presence?

he chuckles, sending chills down your spine. he takes long but slow paced strides across the room. eyes boring into your soul as he places a hand on your cheek, caressing your face.

“why are you shocked to see me? i’ve been here the whole entire time.”

you look at him confused before the memories start coming back.

“____ im sure you’ve heard of our our new student, nishimura riki before?” the assistant principal says as we walk towards office where i see an awkward looking japanese boy sitting one of the waiting chairs outside of the office.

i open my mouth to answer but before i can she cuts me off, “i’m sure you have. anyway i want you to show him around and make him feel welcome.” she says.

i glance over at the kid, sighing i begin to walk over to him. “hi my name is ____. im supposed to show you around” i say as i cross my arms waiting for him to acknowledge me.

the boy looks up, and he has a red glint in his eyes? wait, thats not right.

suddenly you’re pulled out of your memories when you feel a faint sting on your cheek and your head feeling dizzy.

“or should we refer back to the earlier part of this week?”

“have you guys ever noticed how odd that riki kid is?” i ask as i look down and pick at my food.

“who?” your friend, hanni, asks.

“riki?” i say confused as i look up at my friends, “the new kid in the class across the hall?” i question further.

“____we haven’t had a new kid since.. i don’t know when..” your other friend, rei, says.

i groan in frustration, “i understand he doesn’t exactly have a social status but now you guys are just being ridiculous” i say as i point behind them to riki who’s sitting in the corner table of the lunchroom.

rei and hanni look back before sharing a look and turning back to you. “ooookay..” rei says as she starts to put all her trash in the tray.

hanni follows her actions and begins to speak, “look ____, i dont know what you smoked before you came to school or if this is one of your witchy thing but you have to stop doing it before school because it’s seriously fucking with your mental.”.

they leave you alone at the table as you sit there dumbfounded with lingering eyes on you.

you feel yet another slap to your face, this one slightly harder as you lose balance and fall backwards onto your bottom.

he walks up to you again, kneeling down placing a hand between your legs causing you to instinctively clamp your legs around it.

he tsks, “i can’t tell if you fear me or if you want to fuck me..” he presses the palm of his hand into your clothed heat and proceeds to rub the tip of his middle finger up and down your clit.

he mutters to himself, “not that it matters, i’m just gonna fuck you anyway.”

your eyes start to swell with tears as soft sobs start to leave your mouth. “please dont.. “, you hiccup, “why are you here? why are you doing this to me?” you cry out.

he stops his ministrations, looking you dead in the eyes he responds, “because you desired me. you manifested me. you did this to yourself ____.” he moves his hands to tug at the waistband of your skirt and underwear roughly pulling them down.

“crying but you’re loving this treatment. you wanted to be fucked by me. thats why you summoned me right?” he lets out a dry laugh as he begins rubbing your folds up and down once more, this time spreading your wetness from your slick hole to your clit.

you sob out as you arch your back subconsciously, “s..stop” you cry out once more as you clamp your legs around him again and move your hands to wrap around his wrist, using all your strength to push him away.

“you’re too weak. how about instead of trying to act like you don’t want this, you just take it like you know you want to?” he says before delivering another smack to your face, this one just as hard as the first two smacks.

he then uses his free hand to cover your mouth and muffle your cries, “you’re so fucking annoying when you cry. it’s not like it’s gonna make me stop.” he mumbles as he suddenly thrusts two fingers into your hole.

you whine out against his hand, once again bucking your hips against his fingers and allowing your legs to spread open as you fall apart on his fingers.

“thats right.. just let it happen” he whispers as he removes his hand from your mouth and quickly replacing it with his own mouth.

the kiss is messy and heated, your saliva exchanging and your breaths heavy. his hand makes its way to your nape as to keep you from moving away from him. you didn’t plan on moving though. the kiss felt too good

he pulls away allowing you to moan into his mouth as your lips and the inside of your mouth tingle with an unfamiliar pleasure. you feel your body start to heighten its senses.

suddenly your shirt feels too tight around your body as your now hardened nipples rub up against it and your clit feeling way more sensitive as its exposed to the cool air in your room mixed with rikis warm occasional touches.

you wrap your arms around rikis neck and go to kiss him again but instead whining as you shift upwards and allow your nipples to rub and create a friction against your shirt.

“im.. im close..” you whimper out and pant as riki thrusts his fingers in and out of you at a fast speed.

riki takes the initiative and kisses you again, taking advantage of your open mouth to slip his tongue in. exploring your mouth as he snakes his free hand up your body, groping your breast and playing with your hardened nipples over your shirt.

you quickly pull away, moaning out louder than ever as your orgasm hits you unexpectedly. bucking your hips up and feeling squirts of your orgasm hit your thigh, coating both your inner thighs and rikis arm in your arousal.

riki slowly stops his fingers, riding you through your orgasm and gives you another kiss before removing his hand. he pops his fingers into his mouth groaning around them as he tastes you on his fingers.

he uses his hands to remove your shirt before pushing your bare body onto the cool hardwood floor. he watches as you arch your back off the floor and whine out as the cold air hits your now fully naked body.

he position his hands under your breast pushing them together before putting his thumb and index fingers on your nipples and pinching them.

“s..stop!” you mewl out at the pain and pleasure on your chest and bring your hands up ontop of his in an attempt to stop him.

he removes one of his hands and slaps you. he takes his now free hand and takes both of your wrist in it. he latches his mouth onto the new free nipple as he rolls and teases the other one between his fingers.

once your nipple is in his mouth, your back finally relaxes onto the floor. his tongue swirls around your areola and his teeth grazing across your nipple. in the midst of his wispy bangs he can see your mouth opened in pure pleasure, but no sound was heard.

unsatisfied with your reactions he bites your nipple somewhat harshly, forcing you to arch your back once more, and let out a loud whimper.

“such pretty noises from someone who seemingly didn’t want this” he teases before sticking his tongue out and licking your torso in small sections going downwards until he sits comfortably between your thighs.

he wraps his arms around your thighs before biting your inner thighs, occasionally sucking to soothe the bites and aid in marking you up.

his bites slowly get closer to your heat, his hot breath fanning over you. he lets himself take in the sight of you before diving in. his tongue runs over your folds and hovers over your clit. he licks small circles around your clit, making you squirm at the sensation.

he takes your clit into his mouth lightly sucking it causing you to arch your back. you let out soft breathy pants as he circles his tongue around your sensitive parts feeling his saliva start to drip out of his mouth and down into your hole.

he removes his mouth from sucking and licking on your clit downwards, collecting his saliva and your wetness before spitting the mix on your clit and going back to sucking on your clit.

you moan out as your hands fly to riki’s hair, guiding him back and forth as you spread your legs more. you buck your hips against his face while your eyes roll to the back of your head.

“i’m gonna cum again..” you whimper as you remove your hands from rikis hair to cover your mouth as tears swell up in your eyes.

as you reach your high, you attempt to buck your hips once more. only this time your hips are held down by riki, who had thrown an arm over your pelvis to keep you down as he licks and sucks you through your orgasm.

once you’ve calmed down, he pulls away, leaving a string of saliva as he pants and breathes against your cunt. he gives your clit one more suck before removing himself before between your thighs and onto his knees to kiss your lips once more.

before kissing you he starts to undress, starting by removing his shirt and revealing his toned body. he kisses you as he pulls his sweatpants and boxers down mid thigh.

riki hooks his hands under your knees and pushes them upwards towards your head.

he breaks the kiss and looks down at your messy cunt. “so messy..” he whispers before spitting on it and using his hand to guide his erection to rub against your clit and smear his precum and spit all over.

he kisses you again as he inserts his entire length inside of you without a warning, swallowing your moans and cries while doing so.

he pulls away from the kiss and listens to your moans, groaning as he feeds off your sexual energy. while allowing you to get used to his size, you could tell he’s easily larger than the few guys you’ve been with.

he starts his thrust again and with each thrust in and out of your cunt, you could feel you losing yourself with every fast hard thrust. after building a rhythm, he comfortably sits on his knees and pushes your knees farther upwards towards your head, going as deep as he possibly could.

after a particularly hard thrust, you feel the tip of his cock start to occasionally kiss your cervix, forcing you to let out loud, almost pornographic moans. riki groans to himself listening to your screams of pleasure and feeling you clench around his cock.

“i’m getting close..” you whine out as tears start to form and threaten to fall with each thrust. “cum for me baby. just let it all go..” riki whispers.

you orgasm and as you do you can feel yourself squirt once more, this time much more intense as your legs start to shake and twitch in rikis hands. your reactions send riki into his orgasm, making you feel full and warm. riki gives a couple more thrust before he pulls out.

“you did so good..” he smirks. “see? now we’re both happy. i got what i wanted and you got a good fuck.”

“h- huh..?” you say in your dazed and confused state.

“you really are stupid, aren’t you?” he asked sarcastically. “you fucked an incubus.” he chuckled before the lights flickered once more and turned off.

the lights cut back on and leaves you in the room alone forcing you to realize the reality of the situation. “holy shit.. i just fucked a demon..” you mumbled to yourself.

#𝜗𝜚 gyaruoriki #enhypen #enhypen smut #ni-ki #ni-ki x reader #ni-ki smut #nishimura riki #nishimura riki x reader #nishimura riki smut #riki #riki x reader #riki smut #riki hard thoughts

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lutiaslayton · 6 months

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Hello! You seem to be knowledgeable about Japan-exclusive Layton stuff so I wanted to ask if you knew how many chapters were there in Mansion Of The Deathly Mirror? I tried to look it up myself but I couldn't find an actual answer

Thank you for all your translations btw I really appreciate them!

Hi, and thanks! <3 There are six chapters in total. For more info, I will simply give you (and anyone else who reads this) a Reddit post:

This post explains everything we know about Mansion of the Deathly Mirror and how to deal with the fact that this game is lost media.

That link aside, I have a transcript planned for Mansion of the Deathly Mirror just like I did with Chelmey's Casebook and London Holiday, but I don't even have the full first chapter completed yet, so I'll have to catch up whenever I have the time and materials to do so. I haven't had the time to work on it in many months, but don't worry, I haven't forgotten about it and I WILL make a better, FULL version of the translation, as soon as I can get to it (but right now I'm kinda supposed to be preparing for my PhD defence hahahahaha).

Now for some ramblings related to the above-linked Reddit post. Long story short: we have chances of securing the game. But for that to happen, we need to be patient, and we need to be silent. If you ever find footage of the game on youtube or elsewhere, no matter what you do, leave the player alone.

Let them upload at their pace and gather the crumbs as they fall off the table, because asking for them to let you eat the whole cake has never worked in the past. By that I mean: asking someone who owns the game "hey can I see your cool shiny thing asap plz plz plz" will result in that person blocking you, no longer posting any footage or content related to that cool shiny thing, and possibly disappearing off the face of the entire internet forever. I am neither joking, nor exaggerating.

I'm not talking that much about MotDM because we don't want to get too much attention drawn to it for the time being. But don't worry, if this game ever is found (and we have a whole team searching for it, we're just secretive on purpose -- for the reasons I mentioned here and for those that are explained in more detail in the Reddit post), we WILL make sure that the fandom knows about it. It's mostly just that right now, the only person we know who has the game and is somewhat willing to make a playthrough does not want any unwanted attention, and this person is not a friend of ours. They will stop uploading if people ask for them to upload faster, and they already threatened once to delete all their videos when someone asked them if they could "share the ROM." (No. No they won't. And even if they were willing to, we can't even make anything out of a ROM yet because of the hardware being stupidly complicated anyway.)

---

So there you have it -- your answer is "6," and I could have left it at that because I have no strict obligation to say anything more since you didn't ask for any other info haha.

Unless you want to dive into this endless rabbit hole, I highly suggest you just keep that answer, leave it at that for now, and go about your day minding literally anything else. We will get back to you and the rest of the fandom once we have real news about it! It's just that for now we're all stuck in limbo hahaha, there's some stuff done in the shadows but nothing worth hyping about until we're done with it. I mean -- we can't do anything until the one (1) person who owns the game decides to upload more footage of it. Given how desperately lost this game is, we should actually be happy we get to have anything at all, even if even NWoS might come out before it.

[EDIT] Needless to say, the player who is sharing some gameplay footage does NOT know that I have a website with the beginning of a fan-translation, and if they learn even so little that it exists, they are going to have a heart attack and will likely delete their entire playthrough. And nobody wants that.

I personally won't celebrate and heave a real breath of relief before footage of the full game from start to finish with as much content as possible is secured, which is why I don't talk about it a lot. I'm just paranoid that something might go wrong like it already has multiple times in the past hahaha

---

DO NOT show my website link around at random until I say it's ok to do so. And if you share it with friends, ALWAYS mention that I am the one running it. That way if you or your friends have questions, you know who to ask for explanations.

#professor layton and the mansion of the deathly mirror #mansion of the deathly mirror #deathly mirror #lutiasreplies #lutiasgithub

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aerodaltonimperial · 2 months

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so, when i could tell the writing was on the wall (lol) when it came to me and the publishing industry, i told my therapist that i needed to find something else to do with that time, and that i thought i might get really into running again. it seemed like a decent thing to do with my new time AND gave me the possibility to actually achieve goals and find success. he agreed whole-heartedly that this sounded VERY GOOD lol thanks bro you got my back. i decided i would join a seasonal running event through run across america (runs about 2.5 months).

i did the fall one last year! it was a great way to get me back into things again, but i set my goal as 50km and i just BARELY made it between vacations and getting sick. i set my spring goal at 50km again. it's been 2 weeks, and i'm at 35km already. ???? LOL looks like i'm going to need to up that goal to 100km. but not only that!! i am hitting sub-10 minute miles with WAY less effort than it feels like they should be. even on the treadmill, which i HATE and am so slow on because it's so boring, i can pound out 10-minute miles just to keep my speed through the bad weather spells when i can't run outside.

even when i was running 10ks, i never got down sub-10 on miles. i could hold a pretty decent 10:20 average mile pace, and would MUCH rather have run longer rather than faster. now, i have less time to run because of parenting (i can't run until 7:30 PM most nights) so now it's faster or nothing hahaha. and turns out, i can actually do that. i've gotten to some not super duper hard 9:20 miles which is really good for me. i'm SO happy that i was right. this is finally actual success! i feel good!! i'm seeing actual results from my hard work!!!! i WANT to run, half because i'm so desperate for those endorphins to feel normal BUT ALSO because i'm feeling so amazing after i do it knowing i've already come so far!!! i could cry. i'm so happy about this. this is BY FAR the healthiest thing i could have done in the wake of the fucking misery of losing my publishing dream. CONGRATS KATY ON FINALLY MAKING BETTER CHOICES IN YOUR LIFE. TOOK YOU WAY TOO MANY DECADES TO FIGURE IT OUT LOL

positive effects of this: the brain chemicals are the only thing making me feel like myself these days, which is quite huge. also i'm drinking WAY less beer because i know i have to run later. my clothes are fitting differently??? negative effects: MY FUCKING LEGS AND FEET HURT. so much fucking laundry??? i am so fucking HUNGRY all the TIME. i get sleepy and i collapse and i get nothing else done. i am COLD CONSTANTLY.

so if you wanna help pump me up!!!! i am feeling good!!! sometimes i don't want to go on the treadmill but i do it anyway and then i tell myself i have to keep going!!! this is the most consistency i have had since before i left japan!!! i believe in myself and everyone else, too!!! lol

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cephalonheadquarters · 5 months

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post that is me talking about ratchet and clank

Hi for the past twelve days I have been on a marathon of checking out every main Ratchet & Clank game. I do not know why I decided to get into this series. The idea appeared into my mind one day and I went Ok. Time to gaming. And then typed out my thoughts after finishing each game

So here are my thoughts on all the games I’ve seen (includes spoilers and a lot of words)

TL;DR: The Ratchet & Clank series are both the best and worst games I have ever experienced and I only recommend the first and last game

FIRST OFF; I will not be commenting on the gameplay itself because! I have never played these myself! I cannot afford to play them myself 😁. However I think the gimmick(?) of the gameplay like constantly switching between guns and leveling them up and stuff is extremely cool. OK Thinking

Ratchet & Clank (2002)

Nice and simple. I like how rustic it felt. Awesome anti capitalism. Ratchet is a jerk which I like because character development happens later on. For some reason I found it difficult to like Clank at first?? Overall though it is very good. Captain Quark needs to die

Going Commando

Story was paced weird but it was made in 10 months and they didn’t have actual writers apparently so I understand. It got better near the ending. I liked Angela she was cool and silly. Captain Quark needs to die

Up Your Arsenal

Very good, great introduction to Dr. Nefarious. I like him he is funny. I love his contrast with his butler Lawrence and the fact that he insults Nefarious in the most passive aggressive way but also follows his orders anyway. A lot of random pointless stuff though but the secret agent Clank thing was cute I liked the levels for him. Britney Spears knockoff (Courtney Gears) was there I guess I liked the level aesthetic for her. Captain Quark needs to die

Tools of Destruction

I like to ignore this one.

Quest for Booty

Pirates were there. I didn’t even pay attention to the story I just remember Clank appearing out of thin air and leaving (I skipped nearly the entire game and only saw the first and last part I cared for none of it)

A Crack in Time

Really good. Animation was amazing, especially for Dr. Nefarious. The Clank levels were very cool and I love that he actually gets a weapon. I like Sigmund also he reminds me of Filbo Bugsnax and I am glad he got promoted in the end. The time stuff was a bit messy but all the games are messy so I don’t give a darn. I really liked the reunion with Ratchet and Clank and how Ratchet was so tired and they just sorta laid there on the ground for a bit. I also really liked when Clank reached out his hand for a handshake and Ratchet hugged him instead 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 I LOVE STRONG FRIENDSHIPS And the whole part with Clank watching Ratchet sorta die right in front of him made me jawdrop. And I think Ratchet should have been glad that Azimuth died too. I seriously enjoyed the ending cutscene though with Ratchet about to leave by himself all sad and Clank running to join him 🥹🥹 I liked it a lot. Very very good game I loved the Ratchet and Clank’s friendship-focused parts a ton and Nefarious’s silly movements he was really good. Captain Quark needs to die

Into the Nexus

The story was simple I don’t really have a strong opinion on it. It sure was an Into the Nexus! Captain Quark needs to die

Rift Apart

Oh my goodness.Wow . Wow. Wow. WOW. What A Game. I thoroughly enjoyed it from start to finish. The story was extremely good, lots of layers to it.

I'm having trouble forming thoughts right now it is late at night at the time of typing this up so I'm putting it in a list but some of them are paragraphs ok Also out of order they don't make sense

-Ratchet's characterization was... Interesting?? I don't really mind too much since I'm able to ignore it, but I feel like he was out of character for most of the game. I still love him, though. Clank mostly stayed the same to me, at least. I liked his interactions with Rivet during the time they spent together, with Rivet being all suspicious of him in the beginning and Clank only trying to help and later gaining her trust and them becoming a decent team.

-I enjoyed the Clank puzzles and I liked Gary, he's silly. The thing with the Plumber actually being Gary's dad was a surprise LOL I like the running gag of him showing up or being mentioned throughout the games

-I'm also a sucker for when robots feel emotions, so the parts with Clank or Kit feeling bad always get me ☹️☹️☹️☹️

-Speaking of Kit, I really like how Rivet and Kit's relationship was handled. I like that they didn't know they had met one another before the events of Rift Apart. I like that they had genuine conflict with one another, with Rivet attempting to patch things up but it didn't go how she wanted, and so she got frustrated and just left Kit behind like that. It made me sad to see her without Kit and that Kit wasn't even there when everyone else was all together at Zurkie's just before the final fight :(

-I thought it was cute when Rivet was practicing saying "Hi" to Ratchet before they met face to face aueee AND WHEN THEY DID MEET UP AND SHE MET KIT AND aiuauuaeee it was so cute i love them forever

-I LOVE JUICE AND JUNK BOT AND I MISS THEM SO MUCH AUAUEEEE I LOVE i love junk bot. Junky. I miss him i miss him he;s one of my favorite side characters

-Clank swearing was unexpected but welcome

-I liked Emperor Nefarious & Dr. Nefarious's Doofenshmirtz-type relationship like in that one P&F movie

-Captain Quantum is miles better than Quark and I like that he was also some sort of pirate captain

-Where Talwyn .?? She's not a favorite of mine but I was kind of confused when she was just Gone except for in the credits. Lol ?

-I liked Pierre he was extremely annoying but in a good way

-Goons-4-Less guys were funny I love their stupid dialogue

-WAIT I ALSO REALLY LOVE Emperor nefarious enemy troops THEY'RE SO ENTHUSIASTIC i love them and their voices

-All the planets were absolutely FANTASTICAL. I LOVED THE ENVIRONMENTS SO MUCH AND HOW THE CRYSTAL THINGY worked i forgot what it was called but it was so crazy how an entirely different world just instantly loaded like that. Wow wow wow

-The pirate trials gave me secondhand embarrassment

-I like that Kit wasn't a defective war bot like how Clank was. Which is probably obvious that she wouldn't be a defective bot considering this is supposed to be opposite dimension stuff but watever I still like it

-Music good

-ZURKON JR I LOVE ZURKON JR. Invader zim

-I LOVED THE WHOLE SEQUENCE WITH THE GRIND RAILS AND THE FIXER AAHHH THAT WAS AWESOME HOW EVERYTHING Was falling apart around you and that brief moment of Rivet sliding across his shoulders like a bridge to another side that was so so so so SO cool

-Glitch segments were cute

-Final boss was AMAZING. THE GIANT ROBOT. WONDERFUL

-Dr. Nefarious also being against Emperor Nefarious was very good and that last part with him kicking Emperor off the cliff was Perfect

-End credits song was a pleasant surprise. Enjoyed very much

-CLANK'S NEW ARM MATCHING RIVET'S AND KIT'S COLOR SCHEMEEEEE AIUAHUJHHGUUGHJGHJJBHBHGBBHHBHJHFJHNHJNGFHJNFDNNF 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

-THE CREDITS ART WAS SO SO SO CUTEEEE^^^^

-And, of course, Captain Quark needs to die

Uhuhhmm that is all I can think of and I am tired! And if I did think of any more, this list would be far longer than it already is because there's just so many crazy things in this game

Wait also my tierlist because i felt like i had to make one:

Ok. NOW that;s all. Goodbye no more ratchet & clank EVER (I plan on watching the movie at some point just to see how terrible it is (Im sure its terrible because why wouldnt it be LOL)

#ratchet and clank #r&c #It took me two hours to type out my thoughts on rift apart ummm...ok!!

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m1dnyt3-w0lf · 8 months

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Chapter 1: Moving In

Word count: 4,948

I prepared my surroundings to be at least presentable. I fiddled with this and fiddled with that. At this point, I was nervously cleaning. How could I tell? Because my room was already spotless. I gulped and attempted to take a calming breath, sitting at my desk to look at my open laptop. I was moving to New York City soon for school in the fall, and I needed to find a roommate. I tried looking for an apartment, but I was not able to afford any of the available apartments, so rooming with someone was my best bet. I glanced at the time. Eleven-fifty-five. Five more minutes, and I'll be on a call with, hopefully, my future roommate. I got up again and started to pace. I needed to release the nerves. I shook out my hands, then twisted them together, then shook them out again. I'm not sure when, but I started to mutter to myself, just started voicing my thoughts out loud. Like, what if I'm not able to find a roommate? What if this one doesn't work out like the rest? What if he's a creep like the others? What if-

BEDOO-DOO…BEDOO-DOO…

I lunged for my laptop and quickly answered, shifting in my seat to sit correctly and smile. Although, I was sure my hair was a mess from the rush.

"Hi." I say, looking at the man in front of me. He had dark brown hair that was brushed back with one strand falling forward over his forehead. His dark brown eyes held a cold and calculated look that made me nervous but excited at the same time. His face was nothing short of a model, high cheekbones, full lips, the whole works! I wouldn't put it past him if he was awarded the most handsome man on earth. He also seemed to have quite broad shoulders with the way he took up the screen.

"Hello, you're Ashley Hernandez, correct?" He asked, his voice a deep lull that sounded on the brink of boredom, his accent not helping in his overall tone. I gulped.

"Yes, I am! And you're…" Shit, what was his name?! "Manuel?" My own accent seeped out.

"Miguel." He corrected, annoyance leaking into his voice as his eyes seemed to gaze into my soul. The blood drained from my face. "Miguel O'Hara."

"Oh, right. Heh, sorry, I'm not the best at names." I let out a nervous chuckle. He looked unimpressed. So much for first impressions.

"Right. Well, you'll have time to learn it soon enough." He said, taking a sip from his mug. I assumed it was coffee. I bit the inside of my cheek, trying not to laugh or snicker at his words.

It's a dirty joke just waiting to happen! I thought. I took a slow breath. No, I can't do that. I don't even know the guy! Or if he'll even get the joke. How old was he anyway? Forty? Fifty? Whatever, he was old.

"I will?" I ask him instead, destroying my train of thought. His eyes flashed to me as he set his mug down.

"Yes, just looking at your application tells me you're the perfect candidate for my new roommate."

"I am?!" I yelp out. I quickly cleared my throat and backtracked, speaking in a much calmer tone. "I am?"

Somehow, my shenanigans pulled at a small smile from my future roommate, seemingly amused. But just as quickly as it appeared, it disappeared. I could feel his eyes boring into me after that. It made me feel the need to shift my shirt slightly, making it appear baggier than it already was.

"When should I expect you to move in?" He asks finally.

"Uh," my nervousness seeps into my voice. I clear my throat once again. "In about a month."

"A month? Why not immediately? I was under the impression it would be immediately." He questions, confusion seeping into his voice.

"Well, it would be a bit hard to move in immediately since I currently live in California, and I didn't expect to actually be accepted to being your new roommate. And, anyway, I've got things to pack and ship out before I can make my way over." I ranted to him, waving my arms about as I spoke. He listened until I had finished speaking, nodding.

"I wasn't aware you were across the country." He looked at me, brown eyes looking into my own blue ones. "Alright, I'll wait until then. Any designated date of when you'll be here?"

"On the thirtieth of July, or rather, the thirty-first for you." I told him with a firm nod.

"I suppose I'll see you then."

"Miguel?"

"Yes?"

"Would you mind picking me up from the airport on the thirty-first?" He looked taken aback. "I promise to pay back the gas and trouble."

"No need." He tells me, holding his hand up to stop any other words. Geez, his hand looked huge. I couldn't help glancing at my own hand, tiny compared to his.

"I'll gladly pick you up, just let me know when your arrival time will be and I'll be there."

~~~One Month Later…~~~

"Miss? Miss, we'll be landing soon." The stewardess gently shook my arm, successfully waking me.

"Hm? Oh, okay." I say softly, rubbing my eyes as I sit up. I yawned into the back of my hand as I looked out the window beside the other passenger. He was an old man reading a book, though he was only now in the middle of the book from where he started at first. My gaze looked out the window, eyes widening at the sight of all the twinkling lights of the Big Apple. My breath caught in my throat. I was here. I finally made it. I've officially completed one of my dreams. A small smile appeared on my face as tears brimmed my eyes.

I did it! Me! I thought. The old man looked at me and smiled.

"I know that look." He said, chuckling. I look at him, sheepish.

"Ah, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your reading." I say in apology.

"No worries, I was done for the night." He says with a chuckle. "What are you coming to New York for?"

"Schooling. I plan to be a writer someday." I told him. The plane starts to descend.

"Oh, maybe I'll read a book of yours soon." He says with a bright smile.

"What about you, sir? What brings you to New York?"

"Ah, it is the place I grew up. I have family waiting for me." He smiled nostalgically.

"That's sweet."

"How about you?"

"Pardon?" The plane landed.

"Do you have anyone waiting for you?" He asked. I looked into his eyes. They were a handsome hazel that dazzled in the dim plane lights and shone dull from his years.

"Um, no. Just a roommate. He's picking me up." I told him.

"Oh, a 'he!'" He chuckled. I felt my cheeks burn with heat.

"Oh, it's not like that! He's just a roommate." I quickly told him. The old man only chuckled as the plane stopped.

"I only tease! An old man can joke." He chuckled more. I chuckled with him as the surrounding people started to get up to get their things.

"Right, right." It took roughly five minutes for the crowd to disperse. During this time, I turned on my data and turned off my ringtone. I didn't want to disturb anyone if I got a buttload of messages which, knowing my family, I would have many. I helped the old man up and asked if he had a carry-on with him. He said he didn't but thanked me for the sentiment anyway. He then walked away as I turned to my duffle bag in the luggage compartment.

It was an old one I used to use when visiting family. It was small but could hold at least a week's worth of clothing in it, along with some essentials. I plan to hit the market this morning so I can buy the other necessities I couldn't exactly bring with me.

With my bag in hand, I make my way out of the plane and out into the waiting area. I moved out of the way for the remaining passengers as I surveyed the area. No Miguel. I should've known he wouldn't have come to greet me like that. He's just here to pick me up. I hurried on to the designated pick-up location, checking my phone to see if he sent a message. Nothing. I chewed my lip as I wondered if I should send another text. Maybe he was still sleeping? Maybe he forgot? I walked out into the lot, looking around but not seeing that man anywhere. I started to get worried even though I just got there.

"Ashley?" A voice says from behind me.

"Yeah?" I turn around, eyes landing on a large chest. "Oh my-"

I looked up, needing to crane my neck slightly to meet Miguel's eyes. He was tall and buff. He wore a fitted, black crew-neck shirt with gray, flannel pajama bottoms. He took my breath away, just the sheer size of him was enough to dwarf me. I wasn't the only one staring either. Many people were staring. I backed up away from him slightly to give some ease on my neck.

"Miguel?" I asked in astonishment. He only nods.

"Shall we go now?"

"Uh, yeah, sure." I quickly say, adjusting the strap of my duffle bag. He wordlessly led me to his car. A sleek black car that shined under the lights. I wasn't a car person, but it looked beautiful.

"Nice car." I complimented as Miguel unlocked his car, opening his trunk.

"Thank you. Bag?"

"Hm? Oh, here!" I quickly handed him my bag. Once placed in, he closed the trunk and walked over to open the passenger door.

"Ah, thanks." I tell him, flushing a bit from embarrassment. I hurry in, hearing some lady passing by as I get in.

"Lucky girl." I felt even more embarrassed, but Miguel seemed unaffected. Did he get those kinds of comments all the time? I mean, he must, right?

He got in the driver's seat and started the car, driving out of the parking space and driving off onto the highway. For a while, we stayed silent. I looked out my window, settling into the thought that I literally knew no one except Miguel. Well, actually, not even him. I hoped I could change it, but between school and my hunt for a job, I doubted I'd even have enough time for socializing.

"Hungry?" Miguel asked, tearing me out of my thoughts. I looked at him.

"A little bit." He only nods and starts merging into the next two lanes.

"Wait, where are we going?" I ask him.

"I know a place to eat."

"This late at night?" It was two in the morning. What the heck was going to be open?

"I know a place." He simply repeated. I felt uneasy. Was I supposed to just let him take me somewhere foreign in a foreign place trapped in a foreign land? Foreign sounds weird now, doesn't it? It wasn't like I could stop him anyway. I was stuck under his mercy. All I could do was hope he wasn't going to murder me. I tried to keep a tab on all the turns and street names passing by, but nothing stuck. I was never the best with directions. I watched street after street pass by until, finally, Miguel slowed the car to a stop by a small shop. From the outside, it wasn't much. There was a blocked and barred window with an open sign on it. The door was wide open and emitted a sickly, pale light.

"This is the place." Miguel killed the engine and got out. I went to do the same, taking my mini backpack with me. However, my movement came to a complete standstill as my nose was assaulted by the most delicious smells I've ever smelled in my life. Miguel had come around by then, sticking a hand into his pocket. It was then that my stomach chose to growl loudly. Miguel held open the door as he looked at me with a mildly amused expression.

"Sounds like you're hungrier than a little bit." He repeats my words in a teasing tone. I huff and get out of his car.

"Oh, hush it." I tell him, flushing from embarrassment. I've been in this man's presence for only thirty minutes, and I've felt nothing but embarrassment. Miguel lifted his hand up in defense, waiting until I was out of the car to close the passenger door and lock the car.

"After you." He offered. I give him a smile as thanks and head inside. I felt Miguel's presence loom behind me and give me a shiver. I walk into the shop and give a look around. The shop was small. On my right, there were a few empty tables and some chairs pushed into them. There was a long counter on my left, the dish pans inside holding varying meats, veggies, and salsas. I look up to the menu above the counter and see Mexican meals from tacos to burros ahogadas to even menudo. Obviously, that's only on the weekend. My mouth started to water as I read through all the familiar foods.

"Señor O'Hara!" A lady who seemed to be in her fifties walked up to the counter from the kitchen and smiled. "¿Como estas, hijo?"

"¿Muy bien, y gusted?" He asked her. I looked between the two as they spoke, feeling like a sore thumb between them. They spoke civilly until the lady's attention was on me.

"¿Y quien es esta dama tan bonita?" She asked. Miguel opened his mouth to speak, but I beat him to it, a blush on my cheeks as I spoke.

"Hola, soy Ashley." I said simply with a wave and a shy smile. Miguel gave me a look, his expression unreadable.

"¡Ah, hola Ashley! Soy Betitua, pero me puedes llamar Beti." Beti said with a smile. I giggle slightly, my nerves easing. She chuckled and reverted to English, her accent a little on the thick side. "What can I get you both?"

"The usual, Beti." Miguel told her then looked at me. I quickly looked back up to the menu, chewing my lip in thought. They all sounded so good! Then my eyes landed on the prices.

Oh. That's expensive. I thought as my heart sank. I was smart and had saved some money for necessities and groceries and whatnot, but if just this shop was this expensive, then what was the rest going to look? Worry began to seep into my head. What if I wasn't ready for this? What if I failed? What if I go broke?

A hand rested gently on my shoulder, making me jump and pull me out of my thoughts.

I looked up and met Miguel's eyes. They shined with kindness, an odd softness I didn't think he was capable of.

"I offered to go eat, I'm paying. Choose what you want." Miguel crouched slightly as he spoke to me. Damn my shortness.

"Oh, no, Miguel, I couldn't-" A gentle squeeze from his hand halted me. He looked into my eyes, sincerity pooled deeply within those chocolate drops.

"I insist." He rumbled. I gulped. "Besides, it'd be rude to deny a nice act from your roommate."

Conflict plagued my brain. On one hand, I was raised to never take handouts as that would make me a beggar. On the other hand, I was also raised to never be rude in any way. Oh, he had me cornered, but my hunger won out. I look away from his eyes in defeat and let out a sigh.

"Alright, alright." I look up at the menu again, choosing one of the cheap options. "May I have a burro de birria?"

"Coming right up!" Beti said before walking back into the kitchen. Miguel straightened and finally removed his hand from my shoulder. He walked to one of the tables and sat. I quickly did the same, sitting across from him and laying my bag down between my feet. Silence befell us, and with the silence came my fidgeting. With nothing to distract me, I start to look around, bouncing my leg and twisting my fingers this way and that. The shop was simple, some pictures hung on the wall for random landscapes and a mural on the far end of the shop. There was a fridge behind the counter that held many drinks and desserts within it. After seeing everything there was to see, I grew bored.

I tried not to glance at Miguel, but I found it impossible to. I kept giving quick flashes at him, observing him in quick spurts. He simply sat there, not really staring at anything. At one point, I stopped giving quick glances and started to get bold. I stared for longer and took in his features. His high cheekbones, the way his hair fell over his forehead, his eyebrows that seemed to cling to the top of his eyes, everything. At this point, I memorized his features. I tried to read for any sign that may indicate his emotions, but he was about as blank as a piece of wood. Scratch that, wood had more emotion than he did at this moment.

Then his eyes met mine.

It happened so fast. I jumped and quickly looked away, pointedly moving my body away from him as my cheeks burned from embarrassment. I'm such a fucking idiot, how could I allow myself to stare?!

Ugh, he probably thinks I'm a weirdo now. I thought as I thinned my lips. We sat in a more awkward silence. I knew I did this, I hated it.

Say something, damn it! I screamed in my head. But just as I started to think about what to say, Miguel spoke.

"What part of California are you from?" Miguel asked. I looked back at him, surprised to see calm eyes looking back. I shifted in my seat to better face him.

"In Gardena, around the Los Angeles area." I answer.

"What's it like there?"

"Uh, it's warm practically year round. It's kinda on the poor side. I lived right by the beach, so that's kinda cool. Morning fogs during the spring and fall seasons." I tell him, brows furrowed as I try to think of everything.

"Sounds nice. Why come all the way out here?" He sounded almost accusatory. I bit my tongue to stop any retort from escaping. I needed to stay civil.

"I'm going to school here. I heard Fordham University was the way to go for my writing major." I say a bit tersely.

"Writing? Like journalism." He had a small scowl on his face.

"No, creative writing, like stories." I huff out.

"And how do you plan for this degree to help you?" Now he was just jabbing at me.

"It's helping me better my craft."

"Oh, so you came with the dead end."

"Dead end?!"

"You can't become a writer overnight."

"I'm willing to put in the work."

"And if it takes you nowhere?"

"It will."

"How do you know?"

"I-"

"Here's your food!" Beti said suddenly, placing the plates of food in front of me and Miguel. I immediately turned to Beti with a warm smile.

"Thank you, it smells really good." I say. It smelled just like how my grandma made it. It made me a little homesick, but I suppose that's a good thing with food. Beti returned the smile and gave my cheek a loving pat.

"You're welcome, mi linda. Is there anything else I can get you?" I shake my head.

"No, thank you."

"Por su puesto, mi hijita." She turned to Miguel and gave him a very disapproving glare. "Comportaté."

I shot him a smug look as his face reflected offense, staring at the lady's back as she walked away.

"¿Y yo qué hice?" He called after her. He turned to me and glared as I smugly grabbed my utensils and dug in. Miguel huffed and ate as well. The entire meal went by in silence. There wasn't much room for me to talk anyway as I shoveled bite after bite into my mouth. I hadn't eaten since yesterday morning due to nerves, and now that I was here and safe, I had nothing to worry about. I told my parents I'd be fine.

Shit! My fork and knife fell with a clatter as I hurriedly dug my phone out of my bag. Miguel glanced up at me, his taco inches away from his mouth for his next bite.

"Are you alright?" He asked, eyeing me as I quickly unlocked my phone and typed away. I chewed my lip as my leg bounced with nerves.

'I've landed safe and sound! Currently eating some food with my new roommate'

"Fine, just letting-" I was cut off by my phone's ringtone going off. I look at the caller ID and see my mom's contact. What the hell is she doing still up?! I answered quickly and put the phone to my ear. "Hey, mom!"

"Oh, it's so good to hear from you! Why didn't you text me as soon as you landed?!" She reprimanded. I chuckled nervously, trying to avoid Miguel's questioning look. How could he arch his eyebrow that high when they seemed to be glued to his eyes?

"I'm sorry, I got distracted." I tell her nervously. If there's one thing you don't mess with, it's a Latina mom.

"Ay, you and being distracted. What am I going to do with you?" I opened my mouth to speak but heard my dad on the other end and stopped, knowing he was going to take the phone next.

"Hi, mija, we're glad you landed safely."

"Hi, papí." I didn't miss how Miguel nearly choked on his food. I spared him a glance before focusing back on the conversation at hand. "How's everything on your end?"

"Oh, you know, same old same old." My dad said. I could imagine him waving his hand to dismiss my question, the image making me smile softly.

"Mhm, that so?" I asked, not believing him.

"Okay, okay, you got me. We miss you muchos, mijita." He admitted. I smiled sadly, missing them just as much.

"I miss you guys too. I promise you the holidays will come by faster than you think!" I reassure them, my tone light and happy while my face showed just how devastated I was that I wouldn't be able to see them until then. Miguel watched me, something simmering in his eyes I couldn't quite catch. I was still trying to avoid his eye, obviously.

"Bueno, ojala, it is soon." My dad tells me, his voice full of sadness.

"It will be, I promise you that." I was barely keeping myself together. "Alright, I have to go. It's pretty rude of me to be talking on the phone while with company."

"Ah, sí, of course, of course." My dad said with a chuckle. "Enjoy your date."

"He's not-" I started but was interrupted by the click of the hangup sound. My cheeks erupted in pink as I put my phone down, clearing my throat.

Every damn time. He's not my boyfriend, dad! I thought in my head as I plastered a smile on my face.

"Sorry about that, you know how family is." I explain quickly, going back to my food. Miguel only nodded.

"Feeling homesick after hearing from them?" He simply asked. I hesitated.

"A little bit. But this is something I have to do. I can't quit now." I say with a determined voice. I worked way too hard and way too much for a little homesickness to tear it all down. No, I will see this through! Miguel only nodded and went back to his food. I did the same, though I was no longer hungry. I picked at my food more than I ate it. When Miguel had finished his meal, I asked for a box and packed up what I couldn't finish. Miguel paid, and we were back on our way to the apartment. We were silent again, simply in our own minds, as music played softly through the radio. I could feel my mind starting to overthink my decision to come out here.

What if it's not all it's cracked up to be? What if I'm not able to wow everyone here like I did back home? What if I'm actually a mediocre writer with an inflated ego? Oh gods, what will I do then?!

"What do you write about?" Miguel asked me suddenly, making me jump. I looked at him, blinking away the remnants of my thoughts.

"Uh, any sort of fiction, really. I've only written short stories before." I told him. If you could call fanfiction that.

"Maybe you should let me read something." I looked at him suspiciously. When did he suddenly have an interest in my writing? The last time I checked, he thought it was a dead-end career.

"What's the catch?" I ask him. He sighs.

"The way I talked to you wasn't fair. I just want to avoid seeing you fail. I'm sure you've got plenty of potential, but I don't want your hopes and dreams crushed. Call it the father instinct in me." He says with a shrug.

"You've got a kid?" I ask him. I wasn't expecting to room with a dad, that wasn't in the advertisement he put out. His lips thinned as his gaze hardened on the road.

"No." He went silent after that, so I didn't press. Was he experiencing baby fever because I was around? That doesn't make sense, I'm twenty-three. How could he be? My eyes slunk back out the window as the air between us grew awkward and left a sour taste in my mouth.

Quick, think of something! I chew my lip in thought before looking over at Miguel again.

"So, what do you do for work?" I ask, thinking an icebreaker question will alleviate the tension building up. Miguel glanced at him, his gaze softening ever so slightly before he looked back out to the road. It was something, at least.

"I'm a bioengineer." He says. I couldn't help the look of disbelief that took over as I gave him a once over.

"You? A bioengineer?"

"Yes, I study the-"

"I know what they do, Miguel, I just don't believe you are one."

"And why is that?"

"I mean, look at you! You're the spitting image of a gym rat." I joked. Though, that quickly died down as he gave me another glance with an unamused expression this time.

"And what is a bioengineer supposed to look like?" Miguel questioned, his eyes narrowed on the road as if challenging me to answer.

"Uh…like a nerd?" I tried. I chuckled nervously as this only caused Miguel to look more pissed off than before. I gulped.

"I'm starting to rethink this arrangement." He said with an annoyed tone.

"No, no, please! I'm sorry, I was only joking, I swear!" I quickly told him. I couldn't lose this apartment, I had nowhere else to go!

"So was I." He smirks. An offended look makes my jaw drop.

"You didn't sound like you were joking."

"I sounded like that to myself." He said with a shrug. I huff and look back out the window, crossing my arms.

"It wasn't funny." I mumble.

What an asshole. I think, glaring out my window. Silence falls between us as Miguel continues the drive back to his apartment.

I take my phone out and click on Tumblr. It was the only place where I posted my works. Mostly fanfiction, really, but I was working on a book. I had high hopes I'd be finished by Christmas. But hope and reality were two different things. I sigh and click on the "notes" of my most recent post. I read through the comments and reblogs, smiling to myself at the positive feedback I received. The piece was of that Spider-Man guy. The news had been crazy about recently. I noticed a goldmine of fans obsessed for any bit of work to thirst over, so I figured, why not? Might as well give some fan service. The post had reached higher numbers than I expected. It satisfied me. I didn't care about the numbers or anything, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't boost my ego. I smirk to myself. Miguel didn't know what he was talking about, I knew I could make it.

After reading through all the feedback, I lock my phone and look out the window once more. I realized with a shock that I was in New York. Home of Spider-Man. How weird, right? I mean, here I am, a fanfiction writer, in the homestate of Spider-Man, the very man I wrote my recent piece about. What are the chances I'd actually see him in action? It's probably slim, but a girl can hope. Hell, it would help with learning his moves and better portray him in my writing. Clips can only do so much justice, and, what can I say, I'm a sucker for accuracy.

I yawn into the back of my hand, getting more comfortable and sinking into the seat. I'm sure just resting my eyes for a few moments wouldn't hurt. Just a moment to let my mind think of new ideas and whatnot. Just…a few…moments.

Before I knew it, I was out like a light.

Translations

If you'd like to be tagged/untagged let me know!

Ch 2

Tags: @crocs-blogs @madschiavelique @arithestrawberry @eveandtheturtles @myownsimp @thel0velykey190 @obi-mom-kenobi @thelaundrybitch @raphsmuneca @symmetricalkazekage

#m1dnyte w0lf #m1dnyt3 w0lf fanfic #miguel o'hara #miguel ohara x self insert #miguel ohara x ashley hernandez #across the spiderverse #spiderman 2099 #atsv miguel #atsv #atsv fanfiction

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 1 year

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weird question but do you know any place i can find a summary of chapter 5? or if you have one? i dont like vil so i cant really make myself sit and read the whole chapter but i wanna move forward and read chapter 6 but ALSO feel like i should know the important plot points so im not like "wtf is going on"

I mean 🥲 I don’t like Vil either, but I’d still highly encourage you to read episode 5! Getting a summary isn’t really the same as experiencing the story for yourself; the visuals, songs, and voice acting really helps to sell the emotions and the stakes. Who knows, maybe you’ll leave episode 5 with a little more appreciation for Vil (or the other characters; they all have various cute or heroic moments)? He’ll come back to play a major role in episode 6 anyway, and his character moments won’t hit as hard if you didn’t read 5. For example, there’s a particular line of Rook’s in 5 that Vil repeats in 6 which really hammers home his character development since 5.

… Although I won’t lie, episode 5 has veeery slow pacing because it’s basically one long, dragged out training arc 😂 so I’ll summarize what happens anyway; just know that I’d still recommend actually playing through the story yourself, especially if any of these plot points seem too cool or too interesting to not witness yourself. I’ll be glossing over things that aren’t relevant to the main conflict, so 💦 please keep that in mind!

Sooo Yuu starts off Book 5: A Beautiful Tyrant by finally starting to put the pieces together; they visit the Great Seven statues and confirm their own suspicions that the figures in their dreams are the same as the people depicted in the G7 statues (though their actions are framed as more “evil” in the dreams).

Yuu tells Adeuce and Grim about Mickey! They suggest that Yuu takes a picture of Mickey with the Ghost Camera so they can use it to investigate who or what he is.

There’s a dorm leader meeting to give exposition about an upcoming event. NRC will be having a two-day cultural festival in about two months! They will put on a bunch of activities, as well as showcase their clubs and give presentations on the art and research their students have produced.

One of the biggest events is the Vocal and Dance Championship (VDC). In EN, this has been changed to Song and Dance Championship (SDC), so I will refer to it by the English name to avoid confusion. It’s basically the music industry equivalent to what the Magical Shift/Spelldrive tournament was in episode 2; it’s a golden opportunity to launch many people’s singing careers in the entertainment industry. (A lot of talent agencies will apparently clamor to sign you on for a professional debut if you’re a SDC finalist!) The favorites to win this year are Vil and Neige Leblanche (twisted from Snow White).

I won’t mention every single time this happens, but throughout the chapter Vil has these segments where he asks his phone assistant Mira (TWST Alexa or Siri, basically) who the fairest of them all is. Mira always replies with “Neige Leblanche”, which seems to greatly frustrate Vil.

Anyway, Adeuce and Grim are interested in entering SDC because if the team representing their school makes it to the finals, they’ll get a cash prize of 50,000 thaumarks (5 million madol in JP).

Ace and Grim are pumped about trying out for NRC’s team, but Deuce is hesitant and bails.

The group eats lunch and then chills in the courtyard; it’s here that they hear singing and follow the song. It was Epel who was singing down a well (a Snow White reference), because he thought the well would help project his voice more clearly.

Deuce recognizes Epel as the crying boy he ran into at the end of episode 4! Epel says he recognizes Yuu and co. from the Magical Shift/Spelldrive tournament; he also heard about them from his classmate Jack.

Epel tells them about how his dorm leader Vil wants him to practice singing and that he’ll be a part of the SDC auditions. However, it seems that Epel isn’t eager to do this (which Deuce notices).

Vil comes to check on Epel and catches him talking to Yuu and co,; he is disappointed in Epel for “slacking off” and tries to drag him off. When Epel resists, Vil reminds him of a promise they made, which makes Epel fall into line.

Ace, ever the nosy one, picks a fight with Vil (because he doesn’t think he should be bossing Epel around). Epel begs everyone to not do it, but they fight anyway and Vil is, of course, victorious.

This reinvigorates Deuce’s motivation to be in SDC; he wants to help Epel, who seemed to be so hesitant about taking part.

Adeuce and Grim practice dancing on the basketball court. Here they run into Kalim and Jamil, who are also planning on auditioning since they already enjoy singing and dancing. The Scarabia boys give some pointers on dancing to Adeuce and Grim.

Azul shows up; he needed to find Jamil (they’re classmates) because Professor Trein needed his help with handing papers out. The boys banter a bit and Azul reveals that he was bluffing in episode 4 about live streaming Jamil’s breakdown and OB to the world. Only the Scarabia dorm members are aware of the incident.

Tying up loose ends from the ending of 4!! Kalim was able to convince everyone to let Jamil stay on as vice and to give him a second chance. Jamil claims that he is behaving for now to atone what he did, though he also says he will work hard to prove his worth.

The Scarabia boys tell Adeuce to sign up for SDC auditions via a “Rook Hunt”, who is in class 3-A. They go and do this and uh (well, Leona cameo but that’s not important) 🤡 well, Rook does what he does best and spooks them.

Cut to the VDC auditions! We see other competitors, one of which is Lilia (who delivered a holiday card from “M.D.” to Yuu) and Cater! They share some tea about the mysterious Shroud brothers, who enrolled at the same time and seem to do everything together.

Cater wants to show Grim a video, but he’s forced to sit through an ad first. It’s an advertisement for an apple soda featuring Neige (who, if you’ll recall, is one of the favorites to win SDC).

We get to hear various characters (Cater, Ruggie, Kalim, Jamil, Epel, Ortho, and Lilia) sing part of TWST’s opening song, Piece of My World!

Auditions wrap up and at first Vil wants to pick only the best performers, a she believes this will give him the greatest chance of beating Neige. However, Rook stops him and suggests that he instead pick people who are rough around the edges so Vil can polish them to perfection. Rook points out that he sees a lot of potential in Adeuce in particular.

Rook shoots an arrow at Adeuce with a letter attached to it letting them know they passed auditions, so they should report to Pomefiore dorm. Yuu is also told to come along.

The gang pulls up to Pomefiore and meet Kalim and Jamil there. Turns out the Scarabia duo have also passed!

A bunch of Pomefiore students start attacking them, but they manage to battle their way to Pomefiore’s ballroom where Vil is waiting. This was all a test he arranged so they could prove their worth to him.

So the SDC team is: Vil, Rook, Epel, Jamil, Kalim, Ace, and Deuce.

There’s only a month left until SDC. Crowley wants Yuu to let the NRC team hold their training camp at Ramshackle, since he is convinced that living together will help them build teamwork. He originally thought of holding the camp at Pomefiore, but he didn’t want some students to feel out of their element. They get bribed with a cut of the prize money and the promise of Ramshackle renovations 😂 so Yuu’s like “Okay, sure. C’mon in.”

Everyone moves in, and Vil starts imposing new rules on the SDC team members. For example, he takes away their snacks (including an apple pie and chocolate cake that Trey sent with Adeuce) and says he has designed low calorie yet nutritional meals for them. (I want to be clear here: some people misinterpret this part as “Vil is starving them like Mama Rosehearts starved Riddle!” which is NOT true. Rook says that this is not a diet in that sense, but to help them be in shape. Vil wants them to eat healthily so they can perform at their best.)

Vil gets a phone call from his manager who says he has been offered a role in a biiig movie production… as the villain. The hero for this movie will be played by Neige. Upon learning this, Vil becomes irritated and insists his manager reject the offer. He doesn’t care how much money he could earn from this, he says that all he wants to do is “stand the stage until the very end”. Vil then tells his manager to not contact him again until SDC is over.

It is revealed that the voting for SDC is done via audience poll, not by professional judges. This is an important detail to keep in mind for later.

Vil shows the group an original song (Absolutely Beautiful). In EN, he says he commissioned it but in JP he is more vague with his wording, which has led some fans to conclude that Vil personally worked on producing this song. (Uhhh, they also sing Piece of My World at some point.)

He tries to show them a video to help everyone get a feel for the dance choreography, and another ad featuring Neige plays. The boys talk about how Neige is such a popular celeb these days, and how he’s a student of Royal Sword Academy so that makes him their rival. Vil says something cryptic about how he’ll finally defeat Neige this time.

Vil picks himself, Epel, and Jamil as the main vocalists. Jamil is surprised and starts to say that Kalim should be picked instead of him, but Jamil stops himself and accepts the role.

Epel says he isn’t sure about being picked, but Vil again brings up their promise which makes him comply.

They keep practicing and Epel pisses Vil off when he says the dance is too girly. Vil chews Epel out for having outdated views on gender and then places him on a solo ballet regimen. Deuce asks to join Epel for his ballet lessons!

A ghost delivers 10 crates of apple juice to Epel. This is unsold stock from his family’s business, which is struggling at the moment. They all chill and sip on the apple juice!

Vil interrupts to lecture them on skincare. Ace asks isn’t there magic to make them instantly beautiful? This seems to annoy Vil, who says that he’s not interested in “beauty that only lasts until the strike of midnight”.

Yuu wakes up in the middle of the night to find Kalim singing outside Ramshackle. He confesses that he’s frustrated about not being chosen as a main vocalist. Kalim’s so used to having everything handed to him that the experience of being overlooked surprised him. He says that he wants to try hard so that he will genuinely be picked for something because he’s actually the best choice for it.

It’s revealed that Jamil was listening in on Kalim!

Adeuce sneak bites of Trey’s apple pie and chocolate cake. Vil catches them in the act 🤡 Adeuce suddenly fall over and can’t move!! Vil tells them he put a curse on the baked goods using his unique magic/signature spell. Fairest One of All allows Vil to lay a curse for anything he touches. The conditions he sets must be fulfilled, for even the original caster cannot lift it. (Vil cursed the pie and cake so that if anyone eats it, they cannot move until morning comes.)

Yuu sees Mickey in the mirror again but fails to take a picture of him. They begin to wonder how their original world and Mickey’s may be connected.

This isn’t relevant in the story of 5, but it may be important overall lore-wise. Apparently it is possible to transfer into NRC; Kalim originally did not go to NRC but the dark carriage came for him one month after Jamil enrolled.

Epel becomes frustrated with practice and wants to quit the team. He fights with Vil and loses, prompting Epel to run off.

Deuce suggests maybe Vil be nicer, but Vil snaps that Deuce has no room to be worrying about others or taking back when he’s falling behind the rest of the team. Vil compares Deuce to Ace, saying that the difference between them is too obvious. Ace tells Deuce to focus on himself more, and Deuce gets mad because someone naturally gifted like Ace wouldn’t understand him.

The team is really fractured at this point, so Jamil suggests taking a break. During this break, Rook advises Vil that he show Epel “the power of beauty”, to which Vil agrees.

Rook and Kalim give Deuce a pep talk! It leads Deuce to nabbing a magical wheel (blastcycle?) from Ignihyde and driving himself and Epel to a local beach. (They also see RSA on the way!)

The two shout their frustrations at the sea, and Epel’s dialect comes out full force which shocks Deuce. Epel then explains how he doesn’t want people to underestimate him because of his looks. On his first day (before he was sorted into a dorm), Vil tells him to button up his shirt and comments on his cute face, which causes Epel to instigate a fight.

Vil wins and tells Epel that “the weak obey the strong”, so until Epel is able to beat him, he has to listen to everything Vil says. This explains why Epel usually hides his dialect; Vil says that he doesn’t have a problem with Epel’s love for his hometown, but that there is a time and place for the dialect and his rude attitude. In this case, he must address his superiors properly.

The two first years have a heart-to-heart! Epel talks about wanting to become stronger, and Deuce talks about how how his own strength is how amazingly stupid and stubborn he is.

Epel gets a phone call from his mom!! Their business was suddenly flooded with orders from all over the world, and she says a customer told her it was because of “Vil”, whom Mrs. Felmier recognized as Epel’s dorm leader. She asks him to thank Vil for her.

Vil made a Magicam post featuring the Felmier family apple juice! All of his fans want to try the same juice, so they’re buying it en masse. This is the “power of beauty” Vil wanted to show him, that being beautiful and being strong can be powerful in their own rights, and that until Epel understands that, he can never defeat Vil.

They’re interrupted by some random NPCs that want to ride on Deuce’s (borrowed) ride. The NPCs get aggressive, but Epel is able to catch them off-guard with his cutesy looks. This lets Epel get some hits in!

The NPCs are beating them 😔 but suddenly…?! Deuce’s magical power overflows…!!

We cut to a later point that day when Epel and Deuce return, apologize to Vil, and rejoin the SDC group. Deuce confronts Ace and swears to him that he doesn’t plan on losing to him!

Crowley gives everyone in the team tickets for them to invite people to see the show. Yuu gives their ticket to Malleus.

The cultural festival has arrived at last! Yuu spends some time looking around at the attractions with Grim. We get a bunch of cameos from other characters.

While looking through some of the exhibitions, they see some NRC mob students bullying some short RSA students. The NRC boys intervene, and then Chenya comes to pick up the short kids (which are twisted versions of the Seven Dwarves).

Yuu and co. go to the SDC location (the Purple Stage) for rehearsals. Surprise?! Neige appears!! Vil is curt but professional with him.

NRC does their practice run and, for a brief moment, Vil is considered “most beautiful” (he checks with Mira). Buuut then Neige and the dwarves do their practice run (EN removed the song Minna de Yahoo), and Neige is on top again 😭 (Their performance isn’t even that well-executed, they’re very clumsy and everything. The song also isn’t very unique; it’s an arrangement of a popular children’s song from the Shaftlands. However, it still makes the filming staff feel nostalgic and they gush about how cute Neige is and how pure he makes them feel.)

Vil gets a scary look on his face and leaves; Rook, Kalim, and Jamil notice the look he made 👁️ 👄 👁️ Errr, Vil shatters his phone (“mirror”) in a fit of rage.

Yuu follows Vil backstage because they have a bad feeling. They see Vil offering apple juice from Epel’s family to Neige.

Neige is about to drink it until Rook intervenes and tells him (his “Snow White”) to hurry away because the staff need him. Rook takes the juice for himself and tries to drink it, but then Kalim cuts in and knocks the glass out of his hand.

It starts bubbling on the ground 💀 Vil cursed the apple juice! Kalim says he recognized the face Vil was making; it’s just like Jamil before he went mad over winter break.

Rook says he wanted to drink the juice even knowing it would harm him because he wants to believe that Vil wouldn’t tarnish his beauty and hard work by stooping so low.

The spilled juice vaporizes into a toxic mist, and Vil begins to Overblot 😔 He is different than the previous Overblots in that he is somewhat self-aware of what is happening to him (he shouts at everyone to not look at him, at his “ugliness”; the ugliness here is not literal, Vil is most likely referring to his “ugly” actions (ie the attempt to poison Neige, perhaps even kill him).

Jamil comes on the magic carpet to whisk everyone somewhere safe! He lets them know he used Snake Whisper to get Neige to put on a performance. This performance lured people away to watch him (plus, the first years went around getting rid of loiterers), so the SDC stadium is empty except for OB Vil, Grim, Yuu, and the NRC SDC group.

Deuce saves the day by directing the damage he has taken so far back at Vil…! This is the unique magic/signature spell he unlocked on the beach, Bet the Limit (Double Down in EN).

In the post-OB flashback sequence, we learn that Vil’s dad was a famous actor as well! It seems that Vil has consistently been casted as the villain ever since he started his own acting career. He resents this, because according to him, “a villain never stands on the stage until the very end, they can only watch the happy ending from the sidelines”.

Vil was also bullied in the past, although it is a different kind of bullying than Azul suffered. Other kids assumed he was as cold and cruel as the villains he portrayed in films, dramas, and musicals. (We see young Jack defending Vil!) He worked very hard in hopes of landing a hero role—but he was still never chosen.

Vil wakes up and finds himself upon a ruined Purple Stage. SDC can’t happen like this…

Malleus shows up with his ticket and uses his magic to repair the stage—he came to see their performance, after all. (It is also here when Yuu finally learns who “Tsunotaro/Hornton” truly is.)

SDC happens!! More cameos from characters in the audience as they vote.

RSA wins by one vote. That deciding vote was… Rook! Now, he gets a lot of hate for this move, but 🥲 he explains that he couldn’t lie to himself; he was genuinely moved more by Neige than his own group’s performance. Additionally, he says that even if they technically didn’t win a competition or get the most votes, so long as Vil has the strength to believe in himself… then no matter how old or disheveled Vil is, he will always be fairest of them all.

Vil collapses and cries…

Neige comes over and??? Turns out that Rook is a HUGE Neige fan 😂 (When first moving into Ramshackle, Vil remarks on a thick book Rook brought with him. They never looked at what was inside, but it was a bunch of Neige bromides.) Neige says he recognized Rook as his fan (“R”) because Rook called him “Snow White”.

Aaand Neige says everyone should sing together :)) (Again, this was removed from EN.) Vil suffers a lot :)))

Crowley is mulling over another loss to RSA and encounters its headmaster, Ambrose the 63rd (twisted from… Merlin???). Ambrose remarks that he senses strong magic in the area (probably residual from either Malleus or OB Vil) and that he’ll have to keep an eye on Crowley’s students.

Yuu finally grabs a picture of Mickey, but then notices Grim is missing so they leave to find him.

They see Grim on the Purple Stage eating Vil’s OB stone. When Grim notices Yuu there, he attacks them.

We finish off on a preview to Ignihyde. Idia gave a presentation at the cultural festival that made a lot of people interested in having him as an intern. Ortho offers to read the email opportunities to him, but in a resigned tone, Idia says to delete them all because he thinks he “doesn’t belong anywhere” so it’s not worth trying to.

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aliceindaisychains999 · 7 months

Note

I’ve come to ask a question to our beloved himbo, Tank (could be both ultimis and primis), what was the moment yall knew you were in love with Maddie?

Also hi Maddie!! Hope you’re have a wonderful day and I want you to know you’re amazing and a great friend 🥺🥺💖💖💖

(HI HAZARD!!!! You are such an amazing and special friend of mine! I had a nice walk today and I’m planning to work on a Christmas wreath for myself tonight. I hope you have a wonderful day too💖💖💖☺️)

Well, you mentioned both. But I think the Dempsey I bond with the most should answer first.

Who, me?

Yes, you! You know it too grinning like that.

*heartily laughs* Okay! We’ve been together since the beginning. Funny coincidence too being this is our anniversary month. The very moment was definitely when she and I were laughing off all the bullshit we dealt with earlier. I got in a bad fight with Richtofen. Maddie waited until I cooled off to talk to me and we ended up doing really bad impressions of the other guys with us. And then, well, she then shyly handed me this little letter she wrote up from one of the typewriters nearby. It was the most beautiful thing I ever read. Hell, it nearly brought a tear to my eye. It was in that moment I realized this was my ride or die for life.

You really thought so soon?

Life’s short, Dempsey. It was one of those now or never moments. I couldn’t bear to let the love of my life walk right by me.

*sighs lightheartedly* You’ve got a good point there, Tank. For me it would take a bit more time to build up realization that it was more than just a crush. You see, in our timeline, back where everything went to shit, there was no running off. But on our little expedition, I learned more about her at a steady pace. Maddie’s pretty. She’s also a strong woman who isn’t afraid to get dirty with serious business. That really means a lot to me. She’s one of a kind. That “aha” moment for me was her just talking during one of our steak-out nights. I don’t know how it happened but our once light conversation got deep. Her profound point of views about taking life by the horns and her humble compassion just… you know, meant everything to me.

Are you blushing too, Tank?

Y-Yeah! *nervous laughter* Congrats on being the only woman to break down my macho walls. What took you so long to open up to me anyways?

What do you mean? As an f/o?

Well, yeah!

I always did but you were so levelheaded and sweet and… I worried I wasn’t good enough

WHAT?!

YOU LISTEN HERE! If you can handle one Tank, you can have the whole thing, baby!

But I got extra nervous because how how flustered I feel around him. It was on overdrive! And I can barely figure out a neat way to understand Primis’ story as I am STILL years later having to restudy the whole conveluded thing

I’ll give you that on the whole time and space crap. I barely understand it myself. I just pulled myself by the bootstraps and worked through whatever I could to fix everything. Maybe this is a chance for you to open up a little more to me, ok? Seriously. I mean it. Let this be the beginning of you and I getting closer. I promise to be that stable rock you never had.

#ironpetals

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lemony-snickers · 2 years

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it has been funny reading thru these survey results (the one referenced in this post).

full disclosure, i do not follow the blog that conducted the survey & didn’t know it was happening, i’ve just been perusing the answers on and off since seeing that post.

also gonna put this shit under a cut because nobody needs to hear my meandering thoughts on a thing that does not actually concern me asldfjasd

anyway.

sooooo many of the salty responses (and these are not the majority, they are just louder than the rest), the people who are complaining complaining about writers “not doing their job” and similar sorts of things seem typically to be upset about the following:

writers not writing enough

writers not writing the specific content they want to see

writers having other interests

writers lamenting burnout and lack of engagement, which they perceive as the writer’s fault

and like. i just want to know.

how much is someone supposed to write? how much is enough writing?

because when i started this blog i posted almost once a day. an utterly & totally unsustainable pace. burnout is real. it really happens. even when you love something a lot, it can still weigh you down.

and it is so easy, i think, to get caught up in the feedback loop. to think “oh people like what i am doing, therefore i shoul do more of it.”

but at a certain point that is literally not possible. i did burn myself out. i had to step back because what i was doing could not be maintained.

i have posted approximately 5k-10k words per week on average, over the last two-ish months. maybe that doesn’t seem like a lot to some people, but from an objective perspective, i’m gonna go out on a limb and say it is. (and, you know, for once i will say i actually know what i’m talking about.)

is that enough? should i be doing more?

more than half of the writing i have posted to this blog has been based on requests received. and you know what? more than half of those posted this year, i have never heard from the person who requested them. anon requests, i understand, are submitted in such a way for a variety of reasons. and i’m not expecting someone to “out” themselves on their blog by rb’ing their smutty kakashi/reader request onto their wholesome recipe blog or whatever.

but until recently, my ask box was open. and i still did not receive asks from the folks who requested some of these fics. just a, “hey that was nice. :)”

i used to, but somewhere along the way, i lost that and i don’t know what i did wrong, you know? because according to these folks, i am doing something wrong.

am i expecting too much? i spend hours writing. i spend hours and hours and hours creating content for other people. i do not have a ko-fi. i cannot offer commissions.

is hoping for some recognition of the labor that goes into writing really so much to ask?

writing as a whole is entirely devalued in our society. there is this expectation that anyone can write.

and you know what? i am actually one of those people. when i lost my job as a freelance writer, i thought, “that makes sense. i’m not that special.”

but the time it takes is still time. the effort it takes is still effort. even if everyone can sit down and write 50k words of smutty fanfiction, most people won’t.

the idea that burnout is “not real” or that writers need to “just post consistently” in order to maintain interest in their work is absurd.

i write almost every single day, but not every day is as productive as i would like it to be. i recently had to help care for a loved one in hospice. it was incredibly stressful; i travelled out of state, lived on an air mattress away from my spouse for a week while being under intense emotional and physical stress (dementia is a fucking monster, y’all). i came home, stayed a week, returned the following weekend to say my goodbyes, drove back home, learned of my loved one’s death on the drive and cried in a rest stop parking lot, spent another week at home, and then returned for the memorial service where i had to give the eulogy because no one else in my family could.

it was exhausting. and i worked every day but one that entire time, remotely or in the office. i took phone calls from my grandmother’s bedroom and while i signed for hospital equipment and morphine refills.

and still i posted fanfic. still��i wrote requests for people even though all i wanted to do was chuck myself over a cliff.

is that not enough? will it ever be enough? will anything?

is it so absurd that i would post about that? is grief a reasonable enough excuse to post something annoying and not what people followed me for?

idk. listen, i think i am a garbage human with no talent, lol. the fact that people do not comment much on my work, do not reblog it, always lands on my shoulders as a cloak of, “told you you were worthless.”

and, obviously, that is my own thing. that is its own problem. but what else is a person supposed to think? when you spend countless hours writing something only to post it with the highest hopes and to hear nothing in return?

what is that supposed to mean if not, “sorry, but not good enough?”

in the end, all we can control is what we ourselves do. the energy we put out into the world. and i just cannot imagine being so hateful or judgemental or cruel. i cannot tell you how often i have had someone say, “i’d love a sequel to this!” without sparing just a moment to tell me why.

the why matters, you know. if someone’s work is good enough for you to read, good enough for you to ask for.

oughtn’t it be good enough for you to say why?

i’ve not been great at keeping up with my fellow writers lately and for that i do apologize. but i hope you all know from my past screaming comments and reblogs and recommendations how much i value the work you do. how much i see the effort you put in.

because someone should tell you it is. someone should tell you that it’s okay to feel burned out or sad or to stop writing for a while because you need to do something else.

i’ll tell you. i’m not great at telling myself, yet, but maybe eventually i’ll get there.

ramble over. ily all very much, take care of yourselves. <3

#lemony rambles #tldr; don't read #instead of reading this actually just #support your content creators #because they deserve it <3

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em-dashes · 1 year

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03.25.2023 - March Update

Total Word Count: 30330 (+4689 since last update)

I finally broke into 30k eyyyyy! The projected word count was 40k but now I’m thinking it might be longer. This might end up being....a regular novel? I have no idea. I guess we’ll see.

Usually I post an update at the end of the month, but since I got so much progress, I got too excited about sharing it hehe

Firstly, here’s a comic sans slideshow I made for this wip!

The further I get into this draft, the harder it’ll be for me to talk about plot specifics without spoilers. But I’ll try my best anyway. Rambling and excerpt below!

So for a while, I’ve been stuck on a chapter where Zahira’s car breaks down, and this has to lead into a big bonding moment for Dany and Zahira, and it has to lead into the next chunk of the story, which takes place somewhere that is pretty different from the rest of the setting.

There were two problems. First, there was no real lead-up to The Bonding Moment. This wasn’t a problem I realized existed until I wrote in a new bit of Dany starting to like Zahira and went “Huh. I think I really needed this scene.” Good job, shower!me who came up with this randomly.

The second problem was that this chapter was overcomplicated. I knew it for a while, but surprise! Un-complicating a chapter is preeeettttyyyy dang hard. Especially when I had to keep the same amount of vital information. Originally they had this whole thing about going to the auto shop to get Zahira’s car fixed, but I removed this once I pinned it down as the biggest complicating factor. The only thing about the setting that really mattered anyway was that they needed to be close to a parking lot. And that could be anywhere!

The next few chapters were technically easier, but I found that I had some trouble with finding when chapters / parts should end. I was imagining the story as a TV show with the parts acting as episode breaks, as I’ve said before, but something that works for a TV show isn’t necessarily going to work for a book. I was getting too attached to the idea of this wip as a show, and I had to break myself out of that mindset.

The original break between parts 2 and 3 made the last chapter of part 2 feel veeeery rushed, so I moved the break a little earlier, and that allowed me more space to explore that chapter more. I actually ended up splitting that chapter into two chapters, and that made the pacing work so much better.

Oh yeah, this was all for the main present storyline by the way. The flashback stuff with Marisa have always been easier to write. That part of the story is getting quite sad at the moment :^(

Anyway, quick small excerpt! Context: Dany is not having a good time and Zahira is trying to comfort them.

C’est touttttt I’m gonna turn off the computer and go read now :^D

-Emily

#em dashes #suddence #suddence update

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kelmcdonald · 1 year

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See You at VanCAF

This is copy pasted from my newletter.

Hey all! My main thing is I'll be at VanCAF which is in Vancouver, British Columbia on May 20&21. They haven't posted con maps yet, so I don't know what my table number is. But I'll be there and it's free to get into. So stop by!

Like I said the big thing this month is going to VanCAF. The rest of the month is mostly keeping my nose to the grindstone.

This month's full moon movie is The Wolfman again. This time the remake. While watching the original Wolf Man, myself and other folks in the discord talked about some of the stuff that was changed in the remake (stuff like the remake is twice as long.) So I figured doing a back to back would be kinda fun. So if you wanna join, we'll be watching it May 5th at 6pm PST. Join the discord if you want.

As always I'll be streaming art on Twitch. My schedule is currently the following:

Tuesday 8pm-10pm PST

Wednesday 8pm-10pm PST

Thursday 6pm-9pm PST (during the Iron Circus Geekshow)

I mentioned last month that I was redoing the live reading of Fame and Misfortune. My mic worked this time so I've saved it and posted it on my youtube. We go over through the whole story in about 30 mins. Then I answer some questions from fans.

I'll definitely doing something like this for The Better to Find You With. As I'll get to in the next section, I got a lot of stuff on my plate. It will probably be some time in the fall.

I spent a lot of April still playing catching up on things. I was really backed up on my work for Seven Seas. I think I got it handled now, but Blue Moon is still not done. I think that has to be my primary focus this month. I was hoping to get the current chapter of You are the Chosen One last month, but that didn't happen. It's penciled so for the next few Fridays I'll post the pencils of the rest of chapter.

By the time those go up, I'll hopefully be done with Blue Moon and can give You are the Chosen One more attention. I hate to do it, but I have to put something on hold. The City Between being free means it gets me more new readers/attention and You are the Chosen One takes longer. And after I write Blue Moon, I should probably make sure the next batch of You are the Chosen One script are ready for drawing. So here's my to do list/priority:

Write Blue Moon

Keep up with The City Between

Freelance thing that is NDA

Clean up Murky Water to make a book

Finish Chapter 3 of You are the Chosen One

Review next few chapters of You are the Chosen One

Anyway, that's quite a lot. I barely had time to read or watch new stuff this month. So kinda a short list this month.

Darling by Olivia Stephens - Darling is a Western Horror about a black woman who's living as a werewolf to escape the racism of 1800s America. She meets a black man on the run and the two have an instant connection Olivia art is excellent and rendering makes every page look both beautiful and haunting. It's one of the best werewolf comics I've read. You should all go back it here.

Love is Hard for Otaku - This is one checked out because Mangasplaining did an episode on it. They had a kinda mixed opinion of it, but I was curious to look into it myself. It's about a gal who's a big nerd but is hiding it from her day job because her last boyfriend dumped her for being too nerdy. A nerdy guy friend proposes they date each other because since they are both nerds she won't have to worry about him dumping her for it. There is a manga and an anime. The manga is a little rough. The pacing seems to be kinda wonky. The anime does a better job landing the jokes, mostly because a lot of the jokes involved references to anime. So the joke works better when they can copy the scene from Evangelion shot for shot, rather than translation the animation into a comic. I don't 100% buy the characters as a couple so I'm on the fence about continuing to watch it.

Nope - This was something that was on my I should get around to seeing this movie since it came out. It was streaming so I made a point to watch it. It's less than a year old so I won't go into details about the plot. But I really liked the point it makes about random chance and nature. I also really liked the relationship between the two main siblings. It was a good mix for conflict, frustration, and affection.

Anyway, thanks for sticking with me through the big workload that's going on. Please back my Patreon if you can. Every little bit helps!

#newsletter #kel mcdonald newletter #werewolves #comics #webcomics #fame and misfortune #the city between #you are the chosen one #nope movie #love is hard for otaku #olivia stephens

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sillybillycanadian · 1 year

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TW: depression, sui ideation, the big sad, etc etc

I hate schoolwork. It’s petty, it’s silly, it’s beneath me, but I am so fed up with it. I am 20 years old and I haven’t graduated high school. There are so many good messages on here about not needing to meet any artificial timetable. That we can do things in our own time. But holy crap guys I’ve been stagnating for so long. I’ve been fighting an uphill battle with this part of high school for three years now.

I started homeschooling halfway through Grade 10. I have self-guided courses that I can do on my own time which still earn me credits to go towards my high school diploma. When I started, I was working at a pace that (if maintained) would have let me graduate a year early. I was masking ADHD, anxiety, and depression so all of that slowly leaked out. I was procrastinating, oversleeping some days then under-sleeping others. I developed an unhealthy habit of eating when I felt bored and like I needed a distraction. Some life things happened like my mom getting cancer (she’s alive and well, but her neutral state of “healthy” will never be the same) and my dad kicking out the three of us (mom, brother, and me) for a while because my dad and brother had a fight.

Those nights were the closest I got to killing myself. We had nothing but the clothes on our backs and some cash we were able to use for a hotel. He did this to his immunocompromised wife during the height of the pandemic. He didn’t care. Even when we were let back in the house (because we threatened to involve the police) he didn’t speak to us for days. I was hardly eating. A family friend talked to all of us over Zoom and referred to my dad’s doings as a “hiccup”. I want to be a forgiving person. I like to think that everyone deserves a second chance. But I can’t say honestly that I’ve forgiven my father. I don’t think I’ve even forgiven the family friend for calling it a “hiccup”. He probably didn’t even know the whole situation, but it stung so bad. And I hugged my father that day. As if it was fine. As if he doesn’t still scare me and I lose the air in my lungs when he stands behind me.

Ever since then my life has been derailed. In the summer of 2020 I started treatment for depression and anxiety. The summer I should have graduated. Some time in 2021 I was diagnosed with ADHD twice because the first person to do it never kept proper records and then left the hospital she was working at. So it was as if my diagnosis never happened. So 6 months after the first time, the second diagnosis finally happened. I’m on medication for it now. I thought it was helping, but I’ve been so useless again for months now and with no changes in meds to explain it. I also might have undiagnosed autism, which really stings because I was neglected when I was younger and the excuse was that my brother needed the attention since he’s autistic. Anyway. I don’t have the energy to shower regularly. I hate needing to make food for myself. I literally have two courses left then I’m done high school for good. 5 basic-ass assignments then it’s over. But instead I watch YouTube and try to make stupid music on my laptop to get a tiny hit of dopamine. I search “help” and sort by latest on Tumblr to see if there is anyone I can comfort or cheer up. Is it actually altruism? Or am I just so starved for attention and validation and companionship that I try to please anyone I can? Do I try to help others because I may as well since I’m the only person I can’t come through for?

With all of this, I have friends who are pressuring me to move out very very quickly. They know how much living at home is making me hurt and ache so I know they’re coming from a good place. But I can hardly take care of my own health and hygiene, how they hell do they expect I can take care of a home and hold a job?

That’s why I don’t just hate schoolwork. I definitely do, but that’s not all of it. I hate schoolwork because it’s a testament to just how stuck I am in life. In this one place. Writing a few sentences to an essay each day if I’m lucky. I hate it. I just hate it so much.

One of those friends. We like each other. So so much. We want a future together. Her and I. But she is one of the ones trying to rush me. I know we both want me to be in a good place before starting a relationship. But she also doesn’t want to be in limbo forever while I work out my issues. So it’s like an ultimatum. At this rate I need to move out in the next month or two or I’m gonna lose her for good, it seems. That’s as far as one of our mutual friends of the group knows. So now I have another point of pressure to get my act together before things crash and burn even more. But it had the opposite effect because I feel lost and stuck and like I can’t do anything.

This is just to vent. Cause idk what else to do than rant and maybe just maybe I’ll stop being a piece of trash. God. I hate myself so much rn. I’m such a stupid worthless prick. Dammit.

#just ranting #personal rant #tw depressing thoughts #tw sui ideation #haha now I’m the one screaming out for help cause I feel lost and like nothing is worth anything now ahaha

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noodlecontuco · 1 year

Text

impostor syndrome, love languages and other issues

Lately, I've been thinking about my own desires and how I thought I knew what I wanted. How did I went from crying over the fear of not making friends to complain about the ones I've got? Now, I know I might seem like an asshole to you right now, but give me a chance to explain myself. Then, if you want to, you can keep on hating me.

Last summer, I went on a full-on crisis over the fact that I find it so difficult to make new friends. Over the last months of highschool, my closest friend group was falling apart. We were all trying to make it look like it wasn't, still hanging out together and so, but truth is, we were about to start a new chapter of our lives. And they were all going to the same place, while I had to move to another city. Besides, I was experiencing the fallout of one of my longest relationships with my best friend at the moment. That's when I began to worry (too late) about the fact that I didn't have any more friends than those three. And that was the moment the anxiety hit.

"What if I don't make any friends?", "I have such a hard time talking first to someone I don't know, what if no one talks to me during the first week of college and then, before I can notice, everyone has their friend group and I get left out?", "How is it that you make friends anyway? I sure as hell don't know, I haven't done it since I was twelve" etcetera, etcetera. I made all these questions to my therapist. She said that I should stop worrying so much, that things would develop at their own pace and that I would definitely make some new friends. The idea of not getting along with anyone in a classroom full of people that shared my passions was unfathomable, right? It was stupid to think like that, I know it now. But at the time, I was terrified. I felt like I was walking around in a dark, empty room, with my hands tied behind my back and my eyes covered. I spent the worst summer ever since 2018. I was alone with my thoughts for the entirety of the three months that you're supposed to spend with friends.

I ended up developing some kind of excessive attachment to a group of friends, all younger than me, that used to be my secondary friend group since I was 15. One of them specifically became my best friend, but she doesn't know it. I never told her. I don't want to make her think that she owes me something, because she doesn't. I'm fine with just loving her from the distance, thinking fondly of her whenever I hear someone talk about their best friend. I never told her because I know it isn't mutual. And it's okay, she has her own best friend, and so does everyone in that friend group. They are my first option, but I'm not and I have to learn to live with that. I have. It might seem like I'm complaining, but I assure you I'm not. It even feels better this way. Bittersweet, but better nonetheless, because lately I came to the realization that being some people's best friend is too much of a hassle. And that's how we get to the central subject for today.

Fast forward to the present, I'm two months in into the whole college experience, and I have made friends. On the second week, a girl and me started a conversation with another student over the subject of her shirt, that had a cool print on it. We all became friends, so I started to hang out with them more. And more. I suggested going to the theater together once, and getting together for a study session another time. I did this because I needed to do these things anyway and I figured that they would also find it useful. And that was my mistake. One of these girls became too attached to me. Right now, I think I might be her best friend in college. She has gifted me three cans of Sprite just because I once said I liked it. She has given me at least two paper hearts she made herself. She has gifted me a bar of chapstick because she saw my lips were cracked. Take note that she has bought all of these things right in front of me, also, which makes it even worse. Fun fact about me: I hate "just because" gifts. I probably have some kind of trauma when it comes to money, but I don't like other people buying things for me for absolutely no reason. I am very proud of my economic independence (hey, at least I got something good out of the trauma, right?). So, all of these gifts felt... Not right. But the worst part is that this girl has said to me, verbally, that she appreciates me a lot. And I can't brush that off with an awkward "ahh thank you!"

Two months. Only two months. She's sitting right next to me as I write. And I don't know, maybe I'm used to other kind of love, a kind of love that you don't see, so it might not even be love at all. I don't like this kind of love that she gives me. I'm uncomfortable with it, I'm physically and psychologically uncomfortable every time she names things she likes about me without me asking. And the noose tightens around my neck when she asks me to say things that I like about her because I don't know her too well to tell. She sees things in me that I'm not able to and I. Don't. Like. It.

I came to the realization that I'm fine with keeping everyone at arm's length. With having someone to talk to and no one to share a philosophical conversation with, at least until I find the right person, because I'm sure she's not. And yes, you might say that, considering the amount of effort it takes me to make a new friend, I can't afford to be picky, but I know for a fact that I don't want ANYONE to depend on me.

This has already happened, not so long ago. I let someone get too close. I should have told them that I didn't feel the same way earlier, but I didn't, and I'm pretty sure I hurt them even more than if I had just rejected them from the beginning. But if that's what I have to do with everyone that gets close, then what's my destiny? Am I so determined to keep this "I can do it alone" facade that I can't see the fact that I will actually end up alone? And it's so hard to explain to anyone else who is not me. Because if I put it in words, they would think that I'm doing it because I'm scared of getting hurt again. Even my therapist said that to me once. "Are you sure that you're uncomfortable with him getting attached or is it you the one who doesn't want to catch feelings?" At the moment, I didn't know what to answer. How do I know what my subconscious mind thinks? Maybe that is the reason, but the only thing I sure as hell know is that he made me uncomfortable. That she makes me uncomfortable. It's not even their fault. It's their way of showing love that I'm uncomfortable with. Why do they have to be so serious about how much they like me? Why can't they be like me? I do tell people I like them, don't misunderstand. A lot of people around me think that physical contact is my love language, but they're wrong. Physical contact is how I answer when people tell me nice things, because it's the only non-verbal and immediate alternative to words of affirmation and God knows I'm not good at talking.

When I want to express love, I normally do it in quality time or acts of service. Once in a while, you might even hear words of affirmation leave my mouth, but in a harsh, sometimes even blunt way. To make you feel like you don't need to answer. That I'm just telling you because I saw that part of you that I liked and I'm acknowledging it. Never in the way of complete devotion. That's too much responsibility to put on someone's shoulders.

Maybe it's the fact that I compare every single relationship I have now with what I used to have with my former best friend. I used to complain that she never showed she cared about me. Yeah, I know, I just can't be satisfied.

So, we circle back to the main question; what the actual fuck is wrong with me? Why does simple appreciation makes me feel so anxious, so guilty that my throat starts to close until I can no longer breathe? Why can't I stop believing that they're all lies? I don't deny that some people may actually believe I'm as cool as they describe me, but I know that it's not true. And no matter how much people keep on trying to make me believe the lie, I am simply not able to. None of my accomplishments feels real to me. Not even the biggest ones. Everytime I think I have accomplished something big, my brain tells me "Maybe you won only because the rest of them were mediocre. That doesn't make you good. That makes you good in comparison, which is totally different".

Yeah, my brain is a bitch.

The only good thing about it, it's that it pushes me to try even harder to earn what I think haven't earned yet. I only fear that I end up giving up on life for the stupid reason of not being enough for my own standars.

Let's hope we don't get to that.

----------------------------------------------------------

21/05/23

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cyanoscarlet · 2 years

Text

alive, awake, alert

(Or, in our language, "conscious, coherent, cooperative".

Not enthusiastic, though. Much too late in the day for that.)

Felt physically fine after my bout with COVID last month. Was immensely demotivated for some reason, though. Always retired early everyday despite not being sleepy at all. I knew I was wasting time by not working on my slowly-piling academic output (hello, 0% written Graduation Thesis), but I couldn't muster the motivation to drag my ass to my desk beyond 9pm.

Today's the first day I properly set up my workstation. I already feel fulfilled. Hope this is a sign things get better for me again. I really, really, really need to get my shit together.

Last three months in residency - crossing fingers.

- (more rambling under the cut)

- Since I don't want to bother making another post anymore, have some more words from moi while I still remember my Tumblr exists lol.

Twitter Presence

Or rather, my sort-of lack thereof. The accounts are still up, but I haven't posted at all in months, for those who've noticed. Been busy IRL, and I find Twitter's pace too fast and too toxic for comfort these days.

Funnily, around once or twice a month I'd decide to end my Twitter hiatus and post just once to get the ball rolling, but every time I'd log in, the timeline would overwhelm me so much I end up nope-ing out again, so.

cyano scarlet

*** WIPED AND LOCKED. It's there only as a placeholder now. *** I don't really have a fandom account anymore. *** A lot of things happened- mainly drifting from the BSD fandom and the friends I made on it, for almost the same reasons I left the YOI fandom in the past. For a while after, I kept getting the nagging feeling that I really shouldn't have given in to my over-enthusiasm over BSD back then and made that damn account. *** Engaging in fandom made me lose confidence in my writing again for a while, then I became so busy with IRL (residency) that I eventually lost interest in writing fan fiction altogether. (That I'll write about as a separate post when time allows- got a lot of thoughts to unpack and unravel regarding my relationship with creative writing in general at this point. I hope this is just because I'm worn out from residency and not a sign of something deeper going on. IDK.)

choon xie

*** It's the public version of my IRL account, minus all the specific self-incriminating stuff, as well as all the fandom-related stuff. *** Originally just a "nom de plume account", but it's now basically just "me" except with a different surname. (My IRL surname's a whole boatload of complicated I don't want to explain again and again to people anymore. *** When I locked cyano scarlet for good, I decided to not complicate things anymore. Being my IRL self means I can and should be able to talk about and retweet whatever the hell I want on MY space, so if I want to talk about fandom or other non-mainstream / professional (MD) / original writing-related stuff, I'd do it all as "me" and not as some partially-sanitized version of myself. (i.e. "Oh, Doc Therese is a fujo / fangirl / stan / whatever?" Yes, She Is. Deal With It.) *** That said, it's currently DORMANT / ON HIATUS. Too busy.

Real IRL Account

*** My REAL account. Also my very first one- had it since college, so around 11 years ago. *** It's the unfiltered version of choon xie, including but not limited to: specific self-incriminating stuff, regular breakdowns over residenshit, Anxiety and Depression(TM), petty whining, and more. Locked private ever since, for a reason. (That said, I whine about everything on Tumblr these days, so yeah everyone knows now anyway - if anyone's even reading.) *** Followed only by people I know IRL, and fandom / online people whom I consider close enough to let into my "real" world. You know who you are. *** Also DORMANT / ON HIATUS.

Aerial Arts

Ah, yes, happier life update. I've started taking Aerial Classes at a pole dance stuido!

I actually took some classes in 2018 as a graduation gift to myself after med school. I wasn't actually working yet then, so I only limited myself to what I could afford with my meager allowance + red envelopes saved through the years. The day I filed for my medical license, I swore to myself I'd attend regularly and pay for it all myself.

(Then, of course, pandemic happened, and everything closed down. And of course residenshit's obviously an energy-draining bitch, but apparently I'd sorely underestimated how busy it could get, despite people saying Family Medicine's "just an easy program". Was only able to adjust properly now, sometime in the middle of senior year.)

So far the class I'm taking most regularly is aerial silks (tissue). It's the apparatus I was most drawn to in 2018, and for some reason I find myself gravitating back to it. (Also, silks classes for beginners are every Saturday, and I'm almost always available only on Saturdays, so there's really no other choice lol.)

Of course I also equally enjoy aerial hoop (lyra) and aerial hammock. They both involve a lot of spinning! Thing is, those classes happen on days I'm not available (just for now in residency!), so I don't get to attend them as regularly as I do aerial silks. I plan to attend classes for both hoop and hammock when I graduate, since I don't have hospital duties anymore by then - and hopefully will be earning more than I do now!

There's also pole, of course, which is actually the most popular class there! (Obviously.) I have my reasons for not doing pole - but who knows?

(Another reason why I'm not on Twitter or Tumblr anymore is because I'm using my Instagram again! Funny things is that I used to be inactive there instead, in favor of the two abovementioned sites, but now it's the reverse lol. I post all my aerial class videos there, despite it being locked to only IRL people.)

I believe this has been long enough. Have work tomorrow.

#cyanospeaks #basically another life update post lol

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misqnon · 2 months

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hi, i just read all of ur posts tagged as misqnon's one piece liveblogging and it was so much fun T-T. im here to rant about one piece and im sorry.

i really love seeing people react to content i am caught up with and hold close to my heart.

i got into the 800s in the anime and stopped watching, took a break and then read the manga up to around 1060. but last month i decided to read the whole thing from the beginning and it is genuinely SO WORTH IT.

after u have caught up completely its super rewarding to go back and look at previous chapters bc its constant "oh my god look what was foreshadowed here??" and "now i understand the context behind this!!!" and "this interaction is so much more meaningful now that i know their relationship!!". yes it did take me a whole month of nearly nonstop reading to catch back up but i have 0 regrets.

wano and the arc after it are both super fun and interesting and i think ur gonna love it. the lore is crazy. i hope u dont see any spoilers bc going into it completely blind will probably be way more exciting, especially with the most recent arc since its kinda suspenseful and mysterious,,.

anyways thats all i have to say how do you end these things.. take care!!

AAAAA ANON THIS IS SUCH A FUN MESSAGE TO RECIEVE THANK YOU...

I ended up talking a lot so I'll put this under a cut lol

I used to be the person who said I would never watch one piece 😭😭 I've been into anime since I was like 12 and I'm almost 24 now (fuck . That's like half my life) and obviously it's always been on my radar but I always thought it was 1. Too popular 2. Too Long 3. Hated how oda draws women lmao so I was fine ignoring it and only knowing the basics from just Being On The Internet

I think sometime early on I caved and attempted to watch it- I got to alabasta and stopped bc the anime pacing wasn't doing it for me (though I liked it up until then, but didn't LOVE it)

cut to high-school where a couple of my good friends liked it but we never really talked about it, it was a lifelong interest for one of them bc he'd started reading it on like 4th grade

Well I'm still friends with them (shoutout to sam and seb) and they convinced me to watch one piece film red with them in like July or August of last year bc they were showing me the songs and I, ado fan bc I'm a retired weaboo and a vocaloid Stan, was like "haha that sounds like ado" and they went "IT IS!!!!??" so I had to watch it for her.

again, I was like oh this is fun I like this :^) but no IMMEDIATE interest, more of a passive thing... until the live action came out a month or so later and I watched it just because and DAMN I FELL IN LOVE FAST

I went back to the anime and rewatched the beginning, then skipped back to alabasta where I had left off years and years ago and now I'm Here 🧍

I watched up through part of dressrosa before I started reading the manga, and now I'm doing that while watching certain episodes of just the parts I really wanna see animated

It's been. So Fun

I am now that person who's like Hey You Should Watch One Piece. I get it now. I so get it lmao. And you know the weirdest part is that with it being divided up into arcs like it is I find myself thinking it really doesn't feel that long!?!? Am I insane,

anyways. It's been a while since I was in an active fandom or even in a fandom at all - ESPECIALLY such a big one!?! (I was in college for 4 years and Busy).

but it's. Crazy. I'm writing fanfics and joining discord servers and I've never done that before. it's been very fun and rewarding tbh...I don't like a lot of things about oda and aspects he included and ofc one piece isn't perfect or unproblematic but it IS a really awesome epic of a story about friendship and found family and anti authority and its just.

I'm also a person who's always loved reaction videos or just even seeing otherppl react to things I like so I RELATE AND IM SO GLAD I CAN BE THAT FOR U...

I'm ngl as I've been reading I've been wanting to look up some old one piece forums dated the time certain reveals happened bc I want to see how people felt as this shit came out holy Shit....

it's additionally funny bc this blog is about 10 years old and has amassed a decent amount of followers over the years who were just into some of the other random stuff I've been into but I know a fair amount of them were thinking we were on the same page of not being into one piece and now here I am. Ruining that. And with the pervert character as my favorite no less. lmao SORRYYYY YALL <3

I'll leave u with this message I sent into the discord I share with some friends the other day, none of which really watch op, when asked to explain something about the show. In fact, I think the reasoning for this message was BECAUSE I was explaining to a friend just how much oda foreshadows things!! jinbei, kaido, haki, sanjis backstory, ALL being mentioned by name or referenced DECADES/YEARS BEFORE APPEARING ON SCREEN...HUNDREDS OF CHAPTERS APART....I could rant on more but I'll stop for now.

thank u for the message and feel free to dm me to talk about this silly show anytime bc its sunken its claws into me 😭

#ive been saying since like thriller bark how excited i am to get caught up andYea. its even stronger now #misqnon's one piece liveblog #im going to be going insane as we enter wci and posting more reactions most likely so.#hope u emjoy that 👍#microphone effect #replies #asks #march anon

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nicomrade · 8 months

Note

I don't think my original message was sent (or maybe I'm getting confused, haha). My question is, how do you interpret the gap between chapter 538 and 539? What is your perspective on the ending? And most of all, how do you think Baku is still alive? Some believe that Baku really died and lives symbolically in Souichi (I recommend you read Waty's review of Usogui to better understand this point, you can find it on AniList) and others that he faked his death.

As a personal theory, I think the one who says the words "Welcome back, Madarame Baku" in chapter 537 is not Gonen, but Anoma (in fact, on the last page of that chapter we can see Anoma + Gonen + the welcome phrase, which is curious, since Anoma has no relation to the scene). I think Sako has been misleading us with the timeline, making us think that Abi Khan and Anoma's conversation happens in parallel with Baku's "death", but what if that's in the past? And Anoma (for whatever reason, I still can't tell you why he decided to do that) revives Baku with a defibrillator device like Marco did with Hal and hence his words of "Welcome back, Madarame Baku". Baku returned from a death that seemed final. It should also be added that the phrase he uses refers to Baku in a formal way, but not in a close or hierarchical relationship (he does not call him Leader or Baku-san, for example).

Another good point would be that Sako may have planned from the beginning that Baku would survive, since in chapter 147 (epilogue of the Labyrinth arc) we see a flashforward in which Baku is visiting an awakened Yukiide (he woke up during STL) in spring (hence the cherry trees), so it's been a few months since he became the Leader of Kakerou. So, this scene could take place after Baku's "death", close to leaving for Las Vegas to meet Kaji, Marco and Hal. Also, we never see his right hand (he has it in his pocket) so Sako doesn't show us his missing finger.

i couldnt find the anilist review, if you have a link to it i will hapilly read through!

the ending is very fast paced and (purposefully) doesnt give us a lot of answers, i dont think much about it because im personally not interested in speculating on what happens after/in between the gaps BUT i will try my best to answer everything you brought up!

im not OPPOSED to highly symbolic readings (god knows i love symbolism myself) but i do like the much more literal interpretation better. baku is alive with kaji & marco at the end because he is literally alive, and survived somehow, the same way he "survived somehow" the first STL, because baku always finds a way to live. but also- while i DO think the epilogue is trying to make us think baku dies after gonen pulls out the joker, i dont see how the dialogue actually supports this idea that baku was also betting his life here? gonen is asked to bet his OWN life so hes allowed to join in the gamble and flip the card but i dont see a confirmation that bakus own life is ever in the balance in that particular bet with gonen specifically. it IS the moment where gonen (literally) beats baku and (symbolically) takes his place (as the bigger evil and as the gambler who keeps on winning- also his spot as the one fighting against kakerou and souichi, and bakus "heart", etc.) but to me it at best maybe implies another gamble between them that isnt shown instead? like i dont think the joker was flipped and they shot baku here & there lol (and i highly doubt it was a STL game). theres a whole aftermarth to this we are not shown. what i wanna get to here is just asking, am i the one missing something? where does it say/imply baku is also betting his life VS gonen? i could just be silly & missing something i definitely dont notice everything going on in usogui its very dense lol the only thing i get is the prince bee narration saying he "never got up again"?

i love your theory about anoma being the one talking, like i dont think gonen would welcome baku back ever? not in this context anyway? and again, the epilogue is so vague on purpose there are probably a 100 hints with no pay-off/reveals. misdirections and foreshadowing are usoguis bread and butter and i think its very fitting for the epilogue to give us SO MUCH while actually saying SO LITTLE. it could 100% be anoma talking here i agree, and hinting at some involvement he had that we dont see.

i also love what you said about chapter 147 i didnt catch that (i straight up forgot this happened at all cause i never finished my minotaur labyrinth reread its the arc i like the least for some reason?) thank you for telling me about it, especially the cherry tree that serves as a season indication is 100% true but i wouldnt have caught it myself cause i always forget about this kind of time indication. i wonder if it happens before or after the gonen gamble indeed? this is very interesting to me because i have a whole thing about the parallels between souichi and yukiide (sorry yukiide for only liking you for the role you can fill for me.... i swear i also like him as a character but im always looking at his plot beats in the context of him being a mirror character for souichi)

last thing is ill try to answer this bit: "how do you interpret the gap between chapter 538 and 539? What is your perspective on the ending?" so i think we can think of the gap between 538 and 539 similarly to the gap between, like, the 2001 STL and the start of the story. baku has done this before, he will lay low and hide in the shadows before being ready to put his big plan in motion. in hangman he says he planned to stay in the shadow for longer but seeing souichi face to face he had to change his plans- i think this gap is something similar to this. theres a wrestling poster thats visible in the las vegas shots too, right? i think we can know what year the las vegas stuff happens in that way, and that will give a lot of information on what that gap looked like. i wish i had more of a big analysis about this but filling the gaps in the epilogue has never been my priority. what i DO care about in the epilogue is the uhm heart transplant stuff lol. under the cut cause its my own personal rant where i argue for why a part of the epilogue shouldnt be considered canon (which is a pretty heretical position to defend, im aware)

so uhm, the heart transplant stuff, uh? i kind of have hated that reveal/retcon ever since i read it and its always sat weirdly with me but i didnt think about it much, like blocking it out of my mind, except for during my 2nd read through (and the times id reread the epilogue like some morbid curiosity- maybe this time itll go differently? maybe this time they wont try to lie to me?) not that i think its BAD i like the epilogue as a WHOLE but the heart transplant thing ugh i always just skim over unconsciously i dont wanna engage with it too much because so heres the thing

that line about how its totally real cause "baku shouldve been taking medication quite frequently" and its like. well he HASNT? been doing that? and its drawn super similarly to how baku eats his kariume. are you trying to tell me that his kariume was heart medication all along? what about his obsession with plums in general, and on protoporos when he imports kariume for himself? about protoporos actually- how did a man with a diseased heart who has to take medication survive 24 days on an island with no access to said meds. including a couple days of running outside in the rain chased by a literal angry mob? and then drowning?. baku, as written in the story, DEMONSTRABLY DOES NOT! have a diseased heart. when did this transplant happen???????

baku literally already struggles with sprinting when he first meets hal in 1998- souichi EASILY follows after him and is barely tired when baku is on the floor shaking for his life. are you telling me the heart transplant happened BEFORE this????????? or he already had poor stamina even before and then it cant be appropriate foreshadowing for this. so you were just lying to me about the hints and it really does come out of nowhere. ok.

i dont even mind when/if usogui does retcon stuff (/have reveals that were very much not planned from chapter 1) it is OKAY to write new stuff in your story and about your characters as you go along. it is foolish to try to argue only stuff planned from even before you ever started writing is canon and true. this is not my point. my point is that this reveal CONTRADICTS the actual text that came BEFORE. it has retroactive impact that is nonsensical and downright absurd. this is the exact kind of writing i criticize in stuff like one outs or liar game, but praise usogui in comparison. usogui does lie to you about stuff sometimes, but that misdirection, those lies, ADD meaning to the text. (im always talking about this on twitter i can pull up threads if i need to explain this stuff more) the heart transplant reveal REMOVES meaning. so what meaning does it remove exactly?

one of Usogui's (manga) thesis statements is that to be human is to be FLAWED. this is why hangman ends the way it does (and why its kind of bad they changed it in the movie- though i do get it) its what kyara's arc in protoporos is about, and its what souichis entire character journey shows. i dislike calling souichi "the ultimate human being" because his character arc is about accepting that he ISNT, actually, perfect. that he, too, is flawed and can lose and is scared of dying and is HUMAN. souichi loses drop the handkerchief because he had this weakness (chronic memory loss) that usogui exploited. and for all he tried to make up for it, or make it into a weapon instead, it was still a flaw. and its what made him human. and for him to believe himself capable of not being human anymore, of transcending it, is a lie. and usogui ate that lie. and he reminded souichi that hes human- and loved. and loved. and so so loved. and that he has the potential to become so much greater still- BECAUSE hes human and BECAUSE he tasted defeat and is flawed. thats the basic gist behind drop the handkerchief.

and this weakness of souichi, his chronic memory loss, is inherent to him. theres no reason it happened. textually theres no reason to it. its, yeah, the pressure of having to be Perfect, and being the Leader of kakerou, but we know from the doctor's email that medically they couldnt find a reason for it- yes there are reasons for it, but theyre so inherent to him, to his bloodline, that he couldnt be souichi and NOT have this flaw. there is no version of souichi (or hachina, or hal) that does NOT struggle with memory loss. he has this weakness simply because hes alive.

bakus one core flaw is his weak constitution. baku cant run up stairs (see the abandonned building arc) anything that COULD be life-threatening becomes a death sentence for him (see the minotaur labyrinth arc) he CANNOT defend himself (marco & kyaras roles as bodyguards + all the times someone threatened him with violence) his body is WEAK. it just is. what the heart transplant does is take all of this and make it the result of losing a gamble once, years ago. is this inherent to him? was this always fated to happen? we dont even SEE the gamble this happened in! it CANNOT be this important! but if we forget about the heart transplant for a second, his weak body becomes just a part of his character, with no visible cause. maybe its a side effect of how he grew up on his own without anyone to play with so he never exercised, and possibly malnourished & homeless half of the time. but either way its a cause thats so at the core of who he is that for that not to have happened he wouldnt be usogui (or madarame baku) anymore. there is no version of him who had a happy, safe childhood and is still usogui. sounds familiar? and for souichis weakness to be mental and bakus weakness to be physical.. isnt it meaningful to have their fates mirrored and tied in that way?

baku & souichi(/hal) fates being tied together is also another CORE aspect of usogui's story! not just with the ship glasses on its literally just... the emotional core of the story is their relationship (whether romantic or platonic or whatever). if your reveal in chapter 538 out of 539 (i repeat, its in the second to LAST chapter) is contradicted by its own "foreshadowing", does not stand on its own, and weakens TWO very important aspects of your story, then i think im allowed to consider it not canon or true. uhm, "youre a big liar, arent you?" if you will.

#usogui meta #ask #lkingyoya #you dont have to read the whole tangent about the heart transplant if ure not interested i just need to like #exorcise it out of my brain 😭i think its half of why i dont engage w the epilogue much i really dislike it so much

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