#Sirius black felt guilty all the time honestly

[chasingthestarss]

Sirius loving Remus was very hard. Because he wanted to give Remus everything he had and it felt like betraying James, who had always been there for him. And Sirius never felt that way for James ever, but still loving another one of his friends felt like betraying James.

Regulus watching Sirius’ guilt and hating that Sirius could feel bad for loving someone more than he loved James but not feel guilty for loving James as a brother more than he loved Regulus

[wisteria-cherry]

Sirius and Regulus fighting over reader (or James if you ship that, not picky honestly) please.

love your work ❤️

omg tysm ily <33 ive never written regulus, i hope i do him justice!!

sirius x reader x regulus

oh, now sirius wished he could pull the age card. really, he wished there was any reason at all why regulus shouldn’t be able to like you. but there wasn’t; you were a year younger than sirius and a year older than regulus. sirius was normally quite good with reading people, but you were an abnormality; he had no idea which black brother you fancied more.

regulus, on the other hand, was content. as the more level-headed black brother, he knew that he could try, but, overall, you had the last say in which brother you chose. did regulus hope with all his heart that it would be him and not sirius? yes. would that affect his behavior towards you and sirius? of course not.

or would it?

“ditch reg, let’s go out.” sirius plopped down next to you in the library, where regulus sat next to you.

“i’m right here.” regulus looked up from his book.

“i can’t, sirius, i’ve got to study.” you reply apologetically. “regulus is tutoring me.”

“i’ll tutor you, then.” sirius decided, leaning over to catch a glance at your book.

“you’re hardly in class, how do you expect to be a tutor if you don’t know the content?” regulus frowned.

“i know it.” sirius replied, as though that answered the question.

“go away, sirius. you’re being distracting.” regulus’ frown deepened. regulus liked spending time with you; he didn’t like how sirius was being so intrusive.

“maybe a distraction was necessary, right, love?” sirius grinned his most charming grin, disregarding regulus in favor of you.

“i suppose i could use a break..” you begin, and sirius’ expression brightens. “…but not yet.” sirius sighs dramatically.

“c’mon, don’t you want to have some fun? lemme you out, love, i swear it’ll be the best date of your life.” sirius insisted. you only smile. truth be told, it was flattering to have both regulus and sirius pursuing you, but you felt somewhat guilty; you didn’t want to make a choice like this, not publicly, not when their relationship was so incredibly tense.

“you don’t have to go out to have a fun date.” regulus interrupted. “it can be something just like this, minus the bothersome interruptions by someone.” you look to regulus as he spoke. now that you thought about it, this could easily be considered a date— you and regulus, side by side, studying together. you did recall a few times where his hand went on yours in order to guide your hand to the proper spot on a page.

“are you saying this is a date? this isn’t a date, right?” sirius immediately turned back to you, having finished scowling at regulus.

“i…” you trail off. “i’m not sure. is it?” you look to regulus for support, whose gaze softens upon seeing your confusion. regulus notes that you seemed to be getting a little overwhelmed by the pressure of both boys insisting on your company at the same time.

“i considered it such.” regulus admits.

“dates are a two-way street, reggie, everyone knows that.” sirius rolls his eyes. “which is why i’m actually asking instead of assuming.”

“you act like you never assume things.”

“assume things like what?” sirius grinned.

“assuming that my study partner,” regulus answered, gesturing to you, “would rather go out than actually do something worth doing.”

“going out is worth doing.” sirius retorted. “in fact, it’s necessary if you don’t want to end up a total stick-in-the-mud.”

“forgive me for not skipping every class i’ve got.” regulus replied dryly, returning to the potions book, flipping through the pages to find the one he’d been looking for.

“don’t listen to him, dove, let’s go have fun.” sirius pulled up a chair in between you and regulus and sat down, tossing his arm around your shoulders. “take a break.”

“sirius.” regulus stood up, glaring coldly. sirius’ nonchalant expression changed into a sly smirk and narrowed eyes— gray, like regulus’, but warmer; sirius’ were a stormy sort of gray, and regulus’ had a cool undertone that made them look almost icy blue.

“hm? what’s wrong, reggie?” sirius asked innocently.

“sirius, would you leave? i’m quite done with you interrupting my—“ regulus stopped himself before he could call you his partner. romantic partner. a boy could dream, couldn’t he? “—my study partner. go find some other girl to get drunk with, or maybe smoke with, i don’t care, just— just leave.”

part of you wanted to intervene. you knew that there was a very real chance that things could turn ugly; sirius wasn’t afraid of a duel, and nor was regulus (although he was more quiet about his opinion). at the same time, however, you figured it’d be good for them to get this off their chests.

“your study buddy doesn’t belong to you, reg,” sirius replied casually, pulling you a bit closer via the arm he had around your shoulders. “you can share, i promise.”

“this isn’t a matter of— of ownership.” regulus’ nose scrunched as his expression contorted in disgust at the idea, the idea that you were something to be owned and kept. “it’s a matter of letting us have time alone without being interrupted by you.”

“oh yeah?” sirius finally stood up, his fingers brushing his wand pocket.

“yeah.” regulus pulled his wand out. okay, so it had taken a turn for the worse.

“boys.” you stood up finally, and both boys’ stances relaxed. regulus put his wand down on the table, seemingly just now realizing how ridiculous a duel in the library would’ve been. you frown.

“this is ridiculous. you can’t be arguing in the library, there are people trying to study.” you glance from regulus to sirius.

“like we were before sirius showed up.” regulus grumbled. admittedly, his sulking was something you were surprised to find very cute.

“yes, we were, and sirius had no right to interrupt that.” you give a pointed look towards sirius, who looked away, somewhat embarrassed you hadn’t taken his side (seemingly).

“so this is how it’s going to go: regulus and i will finish our study session,” you decide. “and then this evening, sirius, we can hang out. sound good?”

“sounds good,” the boys reluctantly agreed, still glaring quite fiercely at one another.

“i’m glad we could resolve this together.” you sigh, sitting back down, quite worn out from hearing the two bicker. “now, regulus, about that potion…”

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

I think when Sirius ran away, and he went to live with the Potters, he got very attached to Euphemia. She went through a similar things when she ran away from her own home. My headcanon is that she grew up in a very strict misogynistic environment. And she ran to the UK to fulfill her dream of being a nurse. So Sirius felt comfortable to tell her about his family (he was embarrassed to tell James or anyone else).

Sirius was constantly after her, asking her things and trying to spend time with her. It got to the point that James started getting jealous. Of course as a privileged kid with good parents, he had no idea what Sirius craved. And sometimes he didn't appreciate what he had.

James found his mother showing Sirius some pictures and telling him about her life. They were sitting so close and she ocassionately touched his chin delicately. James felt a pang of jealousy rushing through him.

"Hey! What's up, what are you doing?" James got inside interrupting them.

"Oh James! I was showing Sirius some old pictures"

"Effie, you were very pretty..."

"Watch it, Black! That's my mum! What do you mean, pretty?" James asked and Sirius shrugged "And what do you mean was? Look at this woman now. She is gorgeous"

Euphemia smiled. Sirius nodded.

"Say it! Say my mum is gorgeous"

"James..." Effie warned.

"She's gorgeous..." Sirius said, blushing a little.

"Watch it, Black. That's my mum you're talking about." James teased.

"Bloody hell, James" Effie rose to her feet "Please stop teasing this poor boy" she hit her son's arm slightly.

"What do you mean? I love Sirius"

James walked over to Sirius, patted his cheek affectionately and put an arm around him. Sirius rolled his eyes with a smile.

"Right" Euphemia sighed as the boys grinned "You must be hungry. I'll fix you some snacks"

"Thank you, mummy!"

"You are the best, Effie. Thank you"

When Euphemia walked out of the room, James laid on the bed and Sirius took a seat, looking fondly at the door.

"Your mum is really cool, Potter" Sirius said.

James was still kind of jealous.

"I know she is cool. She is my mum. Mine" James snapped.

"Yeah" Sirius smiled "Did you know her story? She was telling me just now... She's been really brave..."

"Yeah, Sirius. She's told me many times about her life. I know everything about her"

"Okay... Don't get jelaous, Prongsie"

"Jealous?" James asked, sounding pretty jealous "No. Not at all. I mean, I am glad you've become close..." he faked a smile. "Cool cool... MY mum is really wicked."

Sirius sighed "It's not fair, I really wish I had her as my mum. But I got the wicked witch instead..." he tutted.

"Come on, Pads" James added, feeling a bit guilty "Don't exaggerate..."

"I am not exaggerating. Walburga Black is the worst! And so as Orion!" Sirius snapped furiously "Honestly, Potter. You don't know how lucky you are... You're lucky to have a mother like Effie. Make the most out of it."

"I do appreciate my mum, Black" James spat "I don't know what you mean"

"Okay..." Sirius shrugged. And luckily they changed the subject.

But that conversation got James thinking and that night, Sirius found James with Effie when he went to get some water to the kitchen. He found them laughing and talking about something. Then he saw James hugging his mother.

"Love you, mum"

"And what's the reason of the sudden affection?" Euphemia asked.

"Don't act like I never give you a hug, woman" James tutted. Euphemia smiled "Remember when I was little and I used to cuddle on your lap, and you told me a story?"

Euphemia nodded as she smiled. "Of course I remember, love"

"Can we do that now?"

Euphemia raised an eyebrow "I thought the grown-up man was too old for that kind of stuff." she teased.

"No" James pouted "I am never old for that"

"Wouldn't you get embarrassed?" Effie asked as James placed his head on his mother's lap anyway. She immediately ran her fingers through his hair.

"I don't mind" James answered "As long as you don't tell anyone..." he added, making his mother laugh.

"You are always going to be my baby, James." she said, giving him a kiss on his forehead. "I love you."

"Love you more, mummy"

That was when Sirius realized that he could have the best relationship with Euphemia. He could wish to be considered her son and sometimes be treated like one. But he was never going to be her actual son. James was. James was her son and only him. James was Monty's son. It was so unfair. What did James do to have those parents while Sirius got the Blacks? Sirius would always be Walburga and Orion's son. And they would never love him like Effie and Monty loved James.

That realization made Sirius ran upstairs and cry until he was to tired to do so and he fell asleep.

[annaallicce]

Memories - Chapter 3

Sirius Black x Reader

- The characters belong to  J.K. Rowling, English is not my first language, so, sorry for any mistakes and constructive criticism is welcome.

Chapter 1 , Chapter 2

It was night, they were bringing Harry who was surprised to see 12 Grimmauld Place open and as they entered to the screams of the paintings, he could see Sirius laughing in the kitchen and y/n and Remus beside him.

"Sirius? y/n?" Harry whispered confused.

y/n looked at him and smiled and Sirius smiling nodded at him.

Mrs. Weasley agitatedly after silencing the paintings walked over to Harry.

"Ok, Ron, dear, take Harry to his room so he can get settled. The adults need to talk now."

Then Molly closed the door, leaving the children outside.

After a while…

Everyone looked serious, but when they saw Harry, they all smiled, of course it didn't go unnoticed by him, it was always like that, always hiding something from him. He entered the room and gave a small smile back, all the adults started to leave the kitchen except Sirius and Y/n.

''Well, we'll let you three talks now'' Arthur spoke as he left the room.

As they left y/n broke the silence "hi"

"you two know each other..." he looked confused

"A long time" Sirius replied and pointed to the chair for Harry to sit in.

Y/n and Sirius sat down facing him.

"I was friends with your parents, more of Lilian the truth is I hated Sirius Black" y/n said and Sirius laughed.

"So, you knew my parents too..." Harry still looked confused

y/n nodded and continued "me and Lily were inseparable, however she met James... and honestly they were the cutest couple in Hogwarts, the big problem was that apart from Lily I didn't have any other friends, so when she started spending a lot of time with your dad, they both felt guilty about my loneliness and stuck Sirius, Remus and Peter in to keep me company, the problem was that hanging out with them was the same as hanging out with confusion, so I walked away from them, but Sirius didn't walk away”

"The truth is I was starting to like her; I didn't want to see her alone and I didn't want to be away from her" y/n smiled at Sirius' words

"So, you guys are a couple?" Harry asked expectantly

They were about to answer when they heard a noise at the door

"Alohomora" Y/n said pointing his wand at the door, the door opened showing Ron and Hermione and they smiled Ron embarrassed and now red waved his hand, y/n smiled and waved back and Sirius had an amused look on his face.

"It's Crookshanks fault" Ron said still embarrassed scratching his head "he came here and we came to get him..." Crookshanks jumped up on the table and walked over to Sirius.

"Crookshanks my friend! Very good to see you" Sirius said excitedly

"you guys can come in if you want" Y/n spoke as he stroked the cat.

They walked in and sat down next to Harry

"So, you two are a couple?" Hermione asked curiously, Sirius still seemed amused by the situation and y/n nodded

"Even though you hate him..." Hermione continued excitedly

"you guys have been trying to get Crookshanks behind the door for a while now, haven't you? Y/n asked smiling

"We got him but the story started to get interesting..." Hermione said embarrassed

"Yeah, we're a couple" y/n replied still smiling, both Sirius and Y/n were having fun with the situation.

"Can you guys tell us the story of how you became a couple?" Hermione asked excitedly

Sirius looked at y/n with an amused look

"Hermione loves those stories made my parents tell theirs too" Ron said.

Sirius saw that the three were looking at him expectantly and replied "fine, but it's not a pretty story Y/n was mean to me"

Y/n turned to him " what? you were the one who loved to torment me"

Sirius laughed " because I loved seeing you angry, you looked pretty angry, you still do"

Y/n rolled her eyes and then smiled.

"Well then, right after I walked away from Remus and Peter, Sirius insisted on staying in my company.

Sirius saw Y/n reading a book and she looked quite frustrated, he then walked over to her and sat down facing her.

"Now is not a good time, Black" said y/n

"You look confused"

"I'm fine! I don't need any help, it's fine" Y/n spoke with determination, but looked stressed and worried

"You look quite stressed, not well at all..." Sirius spoke looking at her worriedly.

She sighed "ok, ok, but please don't laugh at me"

"I promise" he spoke giving her a small encouraging smile, so she kept talking.

"I'm terrible at herbology, I see people talking they understand it with an ease, everyone can understand it, and herbology just doesn't enter my head, it makes me frustrated, how dumb I am, because I read and read and read, and I can't..."

"Ok, I get it, calm down, breathe" Sirius spoke interrupting her "Firstly, you're not dumb, I've watched you in potions classes, defense against the dark arts and I see an unusual ease you have in learning those subjects, and let's face it DADA isn't that easy, you have ease in subjects most find difficult and difficulty in just one subject most find simple.... Your brain, I admit, maybe it's different he switched things up..." Y/n laughed which made Sirius feel proud of himself, he loved to see her smile and laugh.

"But you're in luck, I'm willing to help you"

"In exchange for what?" Y/n asked squinting her eyes suspiciously

"See more of your smile" Sirius replied which made y/n feel butterflies in her stomach so he continued "and go on a date with me" y/n now looked quite uncomfortable and Sirius noticed on the spot "ok, I'm just kidding, let's stick with the part where I help you with herbology and appreciate your smile, alright?" she nodded.

 The next day y/n was in the library and Sirius smiled as he saw her reading the herbology book like she was going to die, he then sat down facing her and placed a plant in front of her.

"Do you remember the name of this plant?" he asked

"I remember seeing a picture about it... I even remember being frustrated that it couldn't just be called a cactus" Sirius smiled at y/n's drama

"That's a Mimbulus Mimbletonia"

She sighed "right... that's the one that squirts a liquid"

"Yeah!" Sirius replied excitedly.

Y/n not at all excited continued "so if I'm not incorrect, this plant will squirt a green liquid on me if it feels threatened, and this liquid will make me stink" she spoke still not excited

"Exactly, I must say I am proud and I must remind you that the name of the liquid is stinksap" he said smiling

Y/n whispered "of course it is" and rolled her eyes, Sirius was having fun with the situation.

"The method of study you taught me is really useful, however I would be happier if you brought me a picture of the plant rather than the plant itself.

"Well, there's a spell that if you know how to do it won't have any effect on you" Sirius shrugged nonchalantly

"I'm not going to threaten that plant, Sirius" she spoke defensively

"Exactly, I will threaten the plant and you will only think about the spell"

"No, no, no way" Y/n got up from her chair

"Yes, yes, I will count to 10, when I get to 10, I will poke the plant, if you don't remember the spell, it will be stinky, you said you followed my method of study and you studied everything about these types of spells, you will do well" He spoke with conviction

"I accept on one condition; you sit next to me in case I don't remember we will both be affected"

"Okay, I trust you" he sat down beside her

"I appreciate your vote of confidence, now stay closer, so there's no way to escape" she spoke smiling and he approached her smiling too

"Very well, I will poke the plant when I get to 10.... 1.. 2.. 3.." On 5 Y/a's eyes widened "Oh my god, it went blank, calm down... well..." Sirius continued counting

"Imperivius!" she said confidently and Sirius grimaced  

"8.. 9.. 10" he nudged the plant

"Impervius!" Y/n closed her eyes right after the spell, then she realized her clothes were dry, it worked... she opened her eyes.

"It worked" she spoke as she touched her clothes free of stinking liquid "I'll never forget that spell again” She then looked at Sirius and held back her laughter, Sirius had a frown on his face.

"It worked on you on me it didn't" Sirius had his clothes full of stinksap liquid, and he realized that Y/n was wanting to laugh at him

"Do you want to laugh? I'm going to hug you, after all I'm very happy you made it"

"No, no" Y/n spoke laughing and stood up quickly leaving the library, Sirius went after her, and she walked quickly running away from him while laughing

"It was your fault" she said still laughing

"Of course not!" Despite her stinking liquid Sirius was enjoying the situation and smiling, as he was catching up to her, she pointed her wand at him.

He clenched his eyes and smiled "what a rude act, y/l/n" he stepped closer "What will you do?" He was still smiling

"It was your idea, I liked it, it worked and I'm dying to hug you to thank you, but not with that smell, Merlin! Mimbulus Mimbletonia are powerful" Y/n still pointed her wand at him

"You managed to remember the name"

"I'll never forget it, thanks to you" She smiled and continued

"Evanescet odorem casia" and the liquid flowed out of Sirius

"That smells good" he said, she then hugged him.

"I got the smell off, thanks for helping me" he smiled and hugged her back and spoke "that was the easiest thing in the world, you are very smart Y/n, just emphasizing in case you didn't notice" she looked at him and he was sure she was going to kiss him, then she spotted the boys and moved away, Sirius was confused.

"Hi Sirius, Hi Y/n" it was Peter's voice, Sirius nodded and Y/n did too

"I have to go, ah that smell is lavender, if you want me to take it off..."

"No, it's fine... the smell is good"

Y/n waved goodbye to everyone and hurriedly left.

James and Remus approached

"Are you guys together?" James asked.

"No, we were studying" Sirius replied

"In that close proximity? Remus asked smiling

Sirius just smiled.

The next day Y/n was in the communal hall when Lily sat down next to her "hi" Lily spoke smiling

"Hi there, disappeared" Y/n said feigning surprise that she was there "I imagine things between you and James are going well"

"They're going really well! Who would have thought I'd be dating the guy I found most annoying, that I'd like him so much..."

Y/n smiled "honestly, you talked about him so much I figured"

Lilian laughed "I did, didn't I? And you put up with me"

"That's what best friends are for" Y/n said laughing "besides, I always thought you guys were cute, when you argued, James' passionate face always amused me"

Lily's smile widened and then narrowed "I'm sorry I walked away"

"It's no problem, Lily seriously, it's nice to see a friend so happy, I'm happy for you" Lily hugs her

"He asked me to the dance, you're going, right?"

"No one asked me" Y/n shrugged "and I couldn't find anyone to ask... "

"Sirius! You two have been hanging out so much that I thought you were dating" Lilian spoke as if it was obvious.

"He's just helping me with herbology, Sirius doesn't seem to like to be only with one girl, nor to like serious relationships, he seems to like to play with the feelings of others, no matter how much I like to be with him I always feel this insecurity that he just wants to play with me, you know? I don’t want to get me involved with that, but he's very intelligent, I managed to learn herbology quite easily with him ... and ok he's very handsome too, and makes me smile" Y/n had a lost look, then shook his head to scare away these thoughts " but no... he just wants to play, anyway..." Y/n sighed and looked at Lily, and she had a pitying look on her face

"What's wrong, why are you looking at me like that? Y/n asked

"You like him Y/n"

"No, no, why do you think that?"

"The way you talk about him, you practically dreamed in front of me"

"No, I was just... just" Lily interrupted her

"And he's coming here" Lily smiled and waved and Y/n turned to see him, and saw Sirius smiling

"Hi girls, Lily can I steal Y/n? I wanted to show her something, about herbology"

"Sure, sure... I had to go to the library right now, good studies"

"You too" Sirius replied and she left.

He now turned to Y/n "Shall we?"

"Where to?"                                                                                                                     

"To look for pure soil”

She looked at him confused and he took her by the hand, thus leading her to a place with few people outside Hogwarts, he then let go of her hand and touched the ground, Y/n still looked confused, he then smiled

"That one is pure"

He took some seeds from his pocket and buried them

"Regimen Radix" Sirius spoke with his wand pointed at the soil, and a sprout grew and within seconds there were several large lavenders in that spot, Y/n's eyes widened she moved closer, she touched the lavenders.

"That’s incredible Sirius! Can you do it with any plant?"

"Yes, but it will only work if the soil is pure" he replied and she nodded

"Regimen Radix" She whispered, happily looking at the lavenders "I really liked that spell, it made me like herbology a bit".

Sirius smiled and then he picked the lavenders that were there and gave them to her.

"Thanks Sirius, I really like those"

"Y/n, would you like to go to the ball with me?" Sirius asked flatly

"Wha...what?" y/n asked in surprise

"The ball... Would you like to go with me?" Sirius looked hopeful

She was silent for a while, and the confidence Sirius was feeling at the moment was waning

"I... I can't Sirius" She looked upset

"Will you go with someone else?" He asked with a squeeze in his heart

"No... I just..." she was walking away from him, she then left, leaving Sirius confused and sad.

 Sirius was walking around Hogwarts still confused, then he saw James and Lily and went over to them

" From 0 to 10 how much do Y/n hate me?" He asked without even greeting them.

"Why? Lily asked

"I called her to the ball and she just said she couldn't, but she looked sad, like I did something wrong, did I? She left me alone all confused"

"Own my baby Sirius all in love" James said propping his cheek on his crossed hands sighing dreamily

"Shut up James"

Lily held back her smile and then turned serious "do you really like her Sirius? Or is she just another one? Because with your history with the girls here... and I'm not going to let you hurt my friend"

"No, she's definitely not just another one, I wouldn't ask her to the ball if she was, I really like her" Sirius spoke confidently

"Well then make it clear to her, seriously, be more open about your feelings" Lily replied

"Right" he then left there and went to look for Y/n, he saw Remus and asked "are you with the map? I need to find someone"

"Y/n?" Remus asked already knowing the answer Sirius just nodded

"Sirius Black in love, who would have guessed!” Remus spoke excitedly

"You and James are two peas in a pod " Sirius said and picked up the marauder's map and walked out of there then he could see on the map Y/n's feet in a place further away from everyone and went to her, arriving there Sirius saw her sitting and sat down next to her it was a place that could see the lagoon and the mountains perfectly.

"Nice place" said Sirius to break the silence, she looked at him and still looked upset

"How did you find me?"

Sirius shrugged "the important thing is that I found it"

They were silent for a while again just looking at the landscape then Sirius broke the silence again

"I like you Y/n and I thought you liked me too, that's why I asked you to the ball, I didn't mean to offend you actually I'm quite confused by your reaction, did I offend you?"

Y/n shook her head and looked surprised "do you like me?"

Sirius smiled "I thought it was explicit, I like hanging out with you and before we started studying, I asked you out"

She was still surprised "I thought you were joking, just like the invitation to the ball, I thought you were playing some bad joke"

It was Sirius' turn to be surprised "why would I joke about that?"

"I don't know Sirius, you're always with someone different fooling some girl out there, I felt insecure, I didn't think you would really like me" Y/n stood up and Sirius did the same

"I would never do that to you, because I really like being with you, I really like you." He held her hands.

Y/n smiled at his action "Well, I'm sorry for my attitude earlier, for leaving you alone, in this case, would you like to go to the ball with me?"

Sirius made a thoughtful face and then let go of their hands and walked away, such an attitude made Y/n look indignant, so he soon returned "I’m just kidding, too soon?" Y/n still had an indignant expression on her face but when she saw his big smile she smiled too.

"I would love to go to the ball with you" Then he kissed her

"that's cute" Hermione said

Y/n smiled "Well it's getting late, I think you guys better go to sleep"

"If you were my mom's best friend and you're with Sirius, then she probably asked you to be my godmother, no?" Harry asked.

"Yes..." Y/n replied, so Harry continued

"I understand why Sirius didn't look for me, but why didn't you help me didn't tell me you were my godmother? Didn't help me with the Dursleys..”

Sirius interrupted him "Harry, things are more complicated than they seem"

"So, explain to me! You always get off topic when I ask” they then heard another voice

"Why haven't you gone to sleep yet?

Y/n replied "Molly it's my fault we were telling stories and I lost track of time"

"Well, you three go to sleep, it's late and we'll be up early" Molly said authoritatively, they nodded and went to their rooms, when everyone went upstairs Sirius saw Y/n looking thoughtfully at the wall

"Baby, he's just stressed" Sirius said

"I know and quite rightly, I think I'll explain everything to him tomorrow"

Sirius nodded "we'll remind him it's my fault too, the Ministry of Magic was nagging you because of me"

"It wasn't your fault Sirius, it wasn't mine, it was Pedro's, it was my choice to protect you and I wouldn't change that, we can't blame ourselves for the consequences of his betrayal, otherwise we'll be unhappy forever, we have to move on I love remembering past but let's just keep the good things, ok? It's not worth remembering the bad ones because we've had enough in the present and I'm here with you and you with me, and I've never been happier, let's settle with Harry and talk about him spending the holidays here with us and fill him with love because he needs and deserves it, and maybe I didn't worry so much because he has great friends and Molly and Arthur are like family to him too, that makes me happy, that's what we should focus"

Sirius looked at her with so much love "I love you" he said smiling Y/n smiled "I love you too".

[letterstotheflre]

my drug is my baby

summary: sirius is glad he was patient enough with you and takes part of what he has been craving most

warnings: daddy kink, a smidge of religious references, dacryphilia, overstimulation, fingering and oral sex (fem receiver), innocence/corruption kink

word count: 3.2k

a/n: i kinda hate this now but i think it’s because i read it too many times, idk || i think it's a universal experience to not being able to cum from your own fingers... right?? and we all know that sirius has a crying kink... also i think it’s so hot when they make you thank them for letting you cum, sue me!!

Sirius Black liked to believe he was a patient man when he needed to be.

He was known for being reckless, always jumping into the next adventure without much thought, ready to follow James wherever he went. Most of the time he spoke without thinking, especially if he knew his comments would make his parents red with rage. Sometimes he didn’t even mean what he said, he just spewed whatever progressive or controversial opinion he had in hopes of making his mother’s heart stop beating.

He revelled in making rash decisions, somehow always ending up being benefited by them. He never gave much thought to anything: always doing his homework last minute yet somehow still getting top marks, taking some jokes too far, never taking into consideration other people’s safety unless they were close friends.

Some may call him selfish, but he liked not having to put too much thought into every single action. He spent most of his childhood walking on eggshells, afraid of saying the wrong thing and being punished or worse, Regulus taking the beating for him. But now that he finally escaped the Black family, he enjoyed the freedom that came with leaving Grimmauld Place.

He enjoyed breaking rules and creating chaos. It made him feel mighty, knowing he had the power to make all of those choices, still coming out on top, and see how they affected certain people. Most applauded him, revered him for being so spontaneous and adventurous; others couldn’t stand him, complaining about his mean jabs and sometimes harmful pranks.

Yet he knew how to wait for the things he deemed important or worthy. He knew that it was best to wait for Euphemia’s cherry pie to cool down before eating it, to wait for three days after the full moon to make a werewolf joke to Remus, to wait a few hours after James lost a Quidditch match to suggest a quick trip to The Three Broomsticks. And he knew it was best to wait for you.

Good things come to those who wait, that was his mantra. Of course, most of his restraint when it came to you was because he cared deeply about you and your comfort, but his conscience also drove him to keep his hands to himself. Every time his hands were about to go under your skirt, every time he heard your breathy moans when he kissed your neck, every time you looked at him with pouty lips begging for a kiss and his fingers craved to squeeze your neck, he took a step back. He felt so guilty for tainting something that in his mind was so pure, so he just held you close and peppered your face with kisses until you giggled.

But the thought of you being so untouched and how bashful you looked when he teased you or someone made a sexual comment made him want to ruin your innocence. Something inside him craved to see you tainted, to have you writhing under him as he rolled his hips against yours while you clutched his shoulders. He wanted to take that holiness you had and turn it into something so sinful that there was no way for you to ask for redemption.

And when you opened the door and took the first step, who was he to deny you?

He dragged everything out. Since the day when he taught you how to touch yourself, he wanted to make you wait for every sexual act that followed. He wanted to see how long it would take for you to beg him for some relief.

So today during a lecture when you looked at him with glazed over eyes and begged him to help you relieve the strange ache you felt in your stomach since you woke, he decided to be benevolent and give you some relief. He swiftly moved his hand under your skirt (thanking God that most of your closet consisted of that particular piece of clothing and dresses) and pushed aside your underwear before his fingers made way between your dripping folds. He didn’t enter you, just played with your clit until you had to bite the back of your hand to muffle your moans.

But when you whispered a small “thank you, daddy” and pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek, the only thing he wanted to do was take you back to his room and press you to the bed until your legs shook and tears ran down your cheeks. His eyes quickly scanned the classroom to make sure no one saw or heard anything, shoulders tense because of your words. All he could see were students with their own glassy eyes as they listened to whatever the professor was talking about. Fucking tease, Sirius thought.

And now, as he watched you on your knees and clutching his leg, lips pouty and cheek nuzzling his jean covered thigh, he was thankful for being patient enough.

“Please, Sirius, they’re back,” you said. He knew exactly what you were talking about, but played dumb as one hand petted your hair. “What’s back, baby?”

“The tingles,” you explained.

“And you need me to fix it, hm?” A small taunt was evident in his tone. “Your hands aren’t enough anymore, right bunny?”

Your cheeks warmed up at the implication, nevertheless, you shook your head. You still managed to make yourself cum, but the way Sirius could play with your clit like an experienced musician and how his big hands moved your hips along his jean covered leg would never compare to your dainty digits. The thought of his big fingers inside of you was enough to increase the tingles, and your hands pressed down on your stomach trying to soothe the pain.

“Please, Sirius, it hurts so bad,” you whimpered.

“Use your words, angel. Be good,” he said. You looked up at him with watery eyes, your mind already slipping and not letting you form too many coherent thoughts. “Please, daddy,” you sniffled.

He kept petting your head. “What do you want, angel?” He asked, looking almost bored with the situation as he listened to your pleads. “Anything,” you whined.

He shook his head, mocking disappointment. “You know you have to ask for what you want, puppy.” Even though he wasn’t angry, honestly a little amused at your desperation, his voice was stern, trying to engrave his rules in your fuzzy brain.

Your hands squeezed his leg, “I need you… down there.”

“You need to be clearer.''

You closed your eyes. You hated being so crass, but Sirius certainly had no qualms about it. “I need you… in my pussy,” you got out. But it wasn’t enough, not for Sirius who longed to ruin every aspect of your innocence. “What do you want, baby? D’ya want my fingers or my tongue?”

“Both,” you whined. Bingo, he thought with a dark smirk that would’ve sent shivers down your spine if you weren’t absolutely drenching and desperate for his touch. “Up you get, puppy,” he said, “lay on the bed f’me.”

You got on the bed right next to him, your head laying on one of your fluffy pillows. Your dress rode up a bit with your movements, but it didn’t really matter, and you pressed your legs together trying to relieve some of the tension while you waited for Sirius to do something. He simply watched you, taking in the image of you wriggling in place and toying with the rings he bought you for your birthday.

You felt a soft touch on your calves, and it gave you a fluttering feeling in your stomach. Sirius’s hands were moving slowly up your legs, nudging them apart without needing much force since you complied immediately. You were about to burst, ready to scream at him to just get on with it, but decided to keep quiet.

One of his hands made its way to the edge of your dress, swiftly going under it and his fingers slightly grazing your clothed pussy. Your hips bucked at the soft touch, but then just as quickly as it came it was gone. “No, come back!” you implored, reaching for Sirius’s wrist but being too slow.

Sirius arched one eyebrow, “What was that?”

“I’m sorry!” you cried out, “M’sorry, I just need you so bad. It hurts.” But Sirius remained where he was, arms now crossed over his chest as he looked at you. His eyes were full of disappointment and you wanted to cry, “What’s gotten into you today? You were so demanding in class before, so bratty, I don’t think you deserve it at all.” He was stretching the truth, you were by far the least bratty person he had ever been with, but he couldn’t help himself when he saw how much his words affected you.

A few tears fell at his words, “No, no, m’not bratty. I’m a good girl, daddy. I promise I’ll be so so good, your best girl! I won’t ask for anything more, m’sorry.'' You were saying anything you could to convince him that you were still his good girl, his angel.

Your lips were quivering and your chest was heaving with sobs you tried to keep inside; babbling apologies and trying to convince him that you would never act like this again, and he finally took pity on you. His hands gripped your ankles and opened your legs so he could lay comfortably between them. He could see a dark patch on your lavender underwear, and he huffed out a laugh with a slightly amused shake of his head. “I forgive you, bunny, but you’ll have to take everything that I give you. D’you think you can do that f’me?”

You nodded eagerly, choking a small ‘thank you’ as you tried to control your breath. He grabbed the ends of your dress and bunched it up over your waist, not bothering to take it off. He licked a strip over your underwear and the combination of his warm tongue with the friction of the cotton cloth was enough to make you mewl.

Sirius could not deny that he had been craving to taste you once more after he licked your fingers clean that day, and now only getting a smidge of your taste from what seeped through your underwear drove him insane. He needed to taste you completely, so he quickly pulled them off and pocketed them in the back of his jeans.

He used his fingers to spread your folds wide open, staring hungrily at all the slick that had gathered. “Oh puppy, look at the mess you’ve already made,” he crooned. “Y’re dripping, d’ya really need me this bad?”

“Yes, so so bad. Please, daddy.” He was so close, his warm breath hitting your wet folds and making you tremble in anticipation.

You watched, using your elbows to raise yourself a little, as he slowly started to take his rings off. “Hold ‘em for me, bunny, don’t want them to get dirty,” he said as he slid his chunky rings into your fingers. The metal dangled a little because of the size difference, so you closed your hands to keep them from falling.

Finally, his tongue made contact with your clit and you sighed in relief. It was followed by a moan when he started to suck on it, making sure to swirl his tongue all around before slurping. He looked like a starved man that finally came into contact with some sweet fruit, moving his head around your pussy to have you gushing on him. The ache in your tummy was slowly decreasing, now replaced with a nice fluttering feeling.

Your whines and moans echoed through his ears, resembling the most beautiful angel choir he had ever heard. He pulled away for a moment, “I’ve been waiting to taste you for days, puppy. S’better than I remembered.”

The more he pushed his tongue inside you, the more your legs shook. You involuntarily closed them, your pillowy thighs acting as earmuffs around Sirius’s head. He let them rest there for a few seconds before pushing them open once more, adding more fervour to his movements, eager to drink your sweet ambrosia.

Your closed fists went to his head, and you opened them a little to grip his hair, trying to ground yourself. “Gonna cum, daddy, can I?” You breathed out. Sirius just hummed, sending vibrations that were enough to make you let go. You tried to close your legs once more, but his shoulders prevented you from doing so. You felt like you were floating, your brain shutting off for a few seconds before returning to earth.

But Sirius didn’t stop moving his tongue, one of his fingers circling your hole before entering you slowly. Just one of his fingers felt like two of yours, even though you knew it wasn’t an accurate comparison. The stretch this time burned more than when you touched yourself, and you whined while shaking your head. “Too much, s’too much.”

Sirius paused for a moment so he could press your legs to your chest with one hand while the other kept moving in and out of you. The sudden switch in position made you gasp, but not as much as when Sirius thrust his fingers hard. “Are you dumb? I told you you had to take everything I gave you. D’you want to make me mad again?”

More tears fell when he curled his fingers, expertly finding that spongy spot inside you that pumped white heat through your veins. The way they twisted resembled a musician fiddling with a harp, your needy whines accompanying them like the main act. “No no, I can take it” you gasped, drowning in bliss as his fingers kept hitting the perfect spots.

You were already so close, Sirius giving you no respite as he quickly pushed his fingers. Your hand gripped his arm, fingertips digging the ink-covered skin. “C-close,” you whined, eyes rolling back and mouth open as you felt the tension ready to break.

“Going to make more of a mess, angel?” he grumbled, and you tried to nod as much as you could in your constricted position. Sirius chuckled, “Dirty little thing. Go on, I’ve got you.”

You whimpered brokenly as he pulled another orgasm from you. It felt like his fingertips were scrapping your insides to drag it out, and your feet dangled in the air as you swung them while trying to grab his wrist to stop him from moving.

Sirius couldn’t tear his eyes from you, with your pretty tears dripping down your cheeks and your chest heaving with small sobs from how good you felt. For him, all for him and only ever for him, because no one had ever touched you like he has and no one else ever would. “You look so pretty like this,” he cooed. “God I love your tears, baby, look how hard you make me.”

Your eyes moved down his body—when had he taken off his shirt? His tattoos splayed over his toned muscles made you clench around his fingers. You adored the small drawings that covered most of his body, they looked so beautiful on him and you just wanted to cry even more at how pretty your boyfriend was. When your eyes moved lower, following his previous instruction, you could see there was already a bulge in his pants that you knew was his cock, and your mouth watered at the thought of it just resting against his stomach like it did the first time you sucked him.

“I wanna feel you,” you cried while stretching your hands to touch him. He let you, your soft palms going over his chest and grabbing his shoulders so you could pull him down. “Kissie,” you breathed, letting his lips hover over yours for a second before kissing you hard and messily. His tongue played with yours and it only added more fuel to the fire inside you.

A moan broke you apart when his fingers resumed their pace, “P-please, no more” you babbled, the stimulation too much to bear.

“How are you gonna take my cock if you can’t take my fingers, hm?” He asked and you whined, his fingers burying themselves up to his knuckles and making your eyes roll back once more. Your mouth was dry from being constantly open, whimpers and moans constantly escaping from the open cavity. “Come on, one more, I know you have it in you. My good girl aren’t you?”

The squelching sounds were so dirty and they rang through your ears,  yet even through your fuzzy mind you could discern the important words, “Y-your good girl,” you managed to get out with a smile, glad to be praised by him.

His other hand pressed down on your legs even more, and now you could see the way the digits moved in and out of you, a slight sheen coating the skin every time they came out. “God, you were right, bunny, you are tight,” he grunted, “I don’t think I’ll ever fit, m’gonna break you.”

At that, your eyes widened. “No no, you’ll fit, daddy!” But he just chuckled at your desperation, “M’gonna break you in half, angel. Do you want that? Do you want me to split you open?”

A small chant of ’yes’ and ‘please’ echoed through the room. You could feel another wave coming, ready to wash over you as your toes curled in anticipation. It was like you were dangling on the edge, your hands holding on for dear life as you tried to hold on, and your moans grew louder and louder with every thrust Sirius gave.

Your clenching walls around his digits were warning enough for him, and he kept his eyes on your form as you struggled to keep it at bay, waiting for his permission. He watched as your ring clad fingers scrambled to the sheets, gripping them tightly as your head moved from side to side. “That’s it, bunny, let go f’me” and with one harsh thrust, you slackened the hold you had on your release and finally let go.

If you felt like you were still on your body you would’ve screamed. A white heat engulfed you as your vision grew hazy, your hips raising of their own accord and aiding Sirius in dragging your orgasm out. You looked so beautiful like this, a sweaty sheen on your skin and now tangled up hair sticking to your forehead. Sirius leant down, tongue cleaning the fallen tears before they dried, and you couldn’t help the moan that escaped you.

He grabbed your face, squishing your spit covered cheeks. “What do you say, angel?”

With a shuddering breath, you looked into his stormy eyes as he cleaned your release from his fingers with his tongue. “Thank you, daddy.”

You tried to lower your legs, but Sirius kept them in place. You stared at him, confused, yet he was staring at your puffy cunt, all shiny and stretched out for him. A smirk covered his lips as he finally looked at you, “I think y’re finally ready for m’cock, angel.”

TAGLIST: @ildm4ev @capsmischief @dracosafety @dracoxgeorge @roonilwazlibswhore @lovelylupinx @sarcasmismyon1ydefence @marxy-06 @remusjlupinisdead @mattefic @artisancowbells @zzzfour @emmaev @gxtitobxby @sam-hollandsgirl —if you want to be tagged tap here

[imaslutforremusandsirius]

For their pleasure part 2

I had no business reading wattpad and ao3 when i was like 11 yrs old

xinasvoice on ao3 is my guilty pleasure check her out!!!!!!

Part one

Warning: 18+

---

It had been days without any of your Doms touching you and James was seconds away from breaking the rules. You, of course, being the responsible one told him to calm down, trying to distract him whenever he raged about the punishment. You went as far as cuffing him to yourself at night to make sure that he wouldn‘t masturbate, because Remus would find out.

Sirius and Remus were rubbing it in your face, making out in front of you any chance they had, making you watch when they sucked each other off. James and you had been begging on your knees to at least touch them, but even that request was denied immediately.

„We need Sirius on our side“ James mused. „He‘s a switch, he knows how we feel. No chance in swaying Moony.“

That was true, Remus was the epitome of Dom, ruthless when it came to punishments. He would go out of his way to make the both of you suffer. Sadistic ass.

„I figured as much“ you said, absentmindedly playing with your necklace „but how?“

James smirked at you and bit his lip. „They never said that we couldn‘t touch each other. They only said not to cum.“

You perked up at that in momentary disbelief that James had found a loophole. Remus never made a mistake like that, he knew too damn well that James, being a marauder, would try to wiggle his way out of a punishment without breaking the rules. Unbelievable, you had found a way!

„So you‘re saying-“

„That we should catch Pads alone and make him wanna join us. He‘s our Dom too you know, he gets to bend the rules.“

You squealed at the idea and threw yourself at your fellow sub, both of you laughing with relief. You pressed kisses all over his face, smashing your lips on his.

„I fucking love you Potter.“

James hugged you back in excitement and gave you an arrogant grin. „You better, baby.“

---

Everything was set. Remus had a study date today, which meant that he‘d be gone the entire afternoon. James somehow managed to bribe Peter out of the dorm as well. Honestly you were too scared to ask how, so you just accepted it and Sirius should be back any second from his last class of the day.

You had chosen Sirius‘ favorite underwear set, simply black, but very revealing and lacey. James had dimmed the natural light in the room, putting up candles that made you both glow, shadows flickering gently against the walls.

Sirius might be dominant towards you both, but he really was easier to sway then Remus. He had told you often times that seeing you and James together is, in his words, unbelievably hot and makes me want to fuck you both so bad.

And by the looks of it he wasn‘t the only one who lost his composure around you. You let your eyes wander over James‘ naked body appreciatively, watching the way his muscles rippled under the smooth tan skin. He caught you staring and held his hand out, waving you over to him. Now it was his turn to admire your curves, hands twitching as if he was fighting himself to not ravish you on the floor, fuck the rules. Sometimes you wondered how he could be a sub.

„Come here“ James muttered lowly, pulling you to straddle his lap. „You look amazing. Your body is amazing.“

You kissed him back equally as deep, trying to pull away, but his lips kept pulling you back, much like a magnet.

„We should wait“ you moaned between kisses, changing your mind when his hands stroked down your body do grab your ass.

„I can‘t“ James groaned, burying his face in your neck to breathe you in. „I can‘t stay away from you any longer. I might go insane.“

He sucked at your skin as he talked breathlessly, your hips grinding against his cock on their own. Fuck, it‘s been so long. The way your were holding each other, not a single part of your skin untouched, made it pretty clear how desperate you were.

„My, my..“

Your turned around surprised that you hadn‘t heared Sirius come in. James looked up over your shoulder, hands digging into your skin to keep you seated.

„Sirius“ James grinned, „welcome.“

Sirius caught his bottom lip between his teeth, leaning against the door with one shoulder, head cocked to the side. The sight made him ache for his beautiful partners, he wanted to get lost in their touch. This has been hard on him as well, even if he had Remus to please him. But this was a four way relationship for a reason, which meant that he just needs the three of you equally. Sirius simply had too much love and desire in him to be chained to one partner in this lifetime.

He pushed himself off the wall and made his way over to James‘ bed. His pace was slow, a predatory glint in his grey eyes.

„You knew that I‘d be back by now...“ he stated, voice hoarse. His hands came up to stroke through your hair gently making you lean into his touch. God, it‘s been so long that even this felt like a rush of electricity.

Sirius’ dazed expression darkened as he observed the look of bliss on both of your faces. His hands tightened and he tugged hard, exposing your throats to him.

„What the fuck is this then?“ He asked sweetly, his eyes blazing with desire and rage. „Thought you could secretly get off?“

He tugged harshly when he saw James smirk and the boy cursed, eyes tearing slightly. „No. You said that we weren‘t allowed to cum, you never said that there should be no touching..“

There was a fleeting look of realization on his face, before he snarled angrily and let go of your hair to grasp at the side of James‘ face.

„God, James you have no idea just how much I want to make you bleed right now. Why can‘t you be good?“

His tone was full of rage, voice trembling a little and you dug your nails into James‘ shoulder to warn him from responding anything that would make your Dom lose his temper. But this was James, of fucking course he would.

„But Sirius“ he grinned, eyes focused on Sirius‘ mouth, „I am good.“

Sirius huffed, not able to deny the thruth.

„If any of you cum“ he growls out menacingly „I won‘t stop punishing until I break your skin. Understood?“ His hand yanked at James‘ hair again, the other squeezing around your neck.

„Yes, Sir.“ you gasped out when you noticed that James was too busy moaning at the pain. Fucking masochist.

Sirius gave you one last glare before he let go, seating himself on the opposite bed to watch. He waved his hands impatiently with an unbothered expression on his face, but secretly bursting with excitement to watch his subs play.

„What are you waiting for? Play.“ He lit himself a cigarette, leaning back against the headboard with his legs splayed wide open.

You didn’t have time to process the words before James flipped you over on your back, lips instantly on yours. He was uncoordinated, so desperate that his hands couldn’t stop shaking with lust as they trembled on your body. He was kissing you so deeply, as if he tried to consume your soul through your mouth, whining when his cock bumped into your inner thighs with every grind of your hips.

„Fuck baby, careful“ James whimpered, sinking his teeth into your jaw. „Or I‘ll cum before we start.“

God, James was so needy it made you melt. His callous hands were all over your legs, stopping to play with the hem of your underwear. He pulled back a centimeter only, grinning at you.

„Ready to start?“ You smiled back and nodded, watching him get back up on his knees and help you down the bed.

Your hands played with the edges of your bra, pulling at your garter belts. You made your way over to your stunned Dom, swaying your hips with every step to flaunt your body.

Sirius had long forgotten about the burning cigarette in his hand, head tilting up as you knelt before him on the bed between his open legs. You said nothing as you took his wrist and guided the cigarette to your lips, staring down at him. His lips parted as he watched your lips wrap around the drug, hollowing your cheeks obscenely. Fuck, Sirius felt like dying.

He cleared his throat and licked his lips. „You should share baby“ he rasped, Adams apple bobbing as he gulped.

You smirked and leaned in, pressing your lips to his and he opened his mouth, breathing in the smoke. The contact made him jerk out of his haze and he threw the cigarette to the side, kissing you hard. His lips were all over your face, returning to your mouth every few seconds.

„Fuck, I‘ve missed your taste“ he moaned, licking your lips. He let you pull away reluctantly, head banging against the headboard as he tried to control himself.

„James“ you called, eyes still on Sirius‘, „Join me..“

You heard his heavy footsteps approach the bed and Sirius’ eyes flickered behind you, biting his lip when he saw that James was completely naked. James wrapped his strong arms around your waist, pulling your back flush against his warm chest. Your head fell back in satisfaction, goosebumps forming on your skin when James’ hands trailed down your breasts to your lower stomach.

„So soft“ James whispered, kissing the side of your neck, „Smell so good..“

Sirius‘ breathing got harder when you moaned and he glared at James, daring him to tease him further.

„Take off her lingerie“ Sirius commanded, not able to suppress the slight needy tone in his voice.

„Yes, Sir“ James chuckled, sitting back on his ass to pull you between his legs. You bend your legs and let James pull your panties off, the underwear sticking on your wet cunt. Sirius breathing got even harder, hands flexing and his eyes focused on your pussy when you spread it with your fingers.

„James“ you whined, lips twitching into a smile when Sirius‘ eyes narrowed, „Please, touch me. Want it so bad..“

James hands replaced your hands, middle finger rubbing your clit and you jerked, leaning further into his chest.

„Yes, so good“ you moan, staring into Sirius‘ dilated pupils.

James pushed a finger inside, taking off your bra to play with your nipples. He rested his chin on your head, the both of you holding eye contact with your Dom. Sirius was so overwhelmed with what he saw that his eyes flickered between yours every second, not knowing who he wanted to settle on.

„May I fuck her, Sirius?“ James asked sweetly.

Sirius glared at him sharply, raising a brow. His voice was strict when he responded, not a trace of weakness in it although his hand trembled when he palmed his cock through his pants.

„What makes you think you deserve that?“

Well fuck. James‘ face fell, he didn‘t expect that answer. Sirius wasn‘t as easy as he thought.

„Let me deserve it then“ James begged, „Please, I‘d do anything!“

Sirius stretched his hand out, beckoning him close.

„Let me look at you, boy.“

You protested a little when James pulled his fingers out, nipping at your ear in warning. He muttered a silent, „Behave“ in your ear and crawled his way over to his Dom.

„James, baby“ Sirius stroked James‘ cheek, „I want you to suck my cock.“

James closed his eyes and let out a loud whine, hands pulling down Sirius‘ pants eagerly. Sirius’ caught his hands, thumb brushing over James’ bottom lip, smirking softly when he saw the look of submission on his usually bratty face.

„Do not breathe a single word of this to Daddy, you hear me?“

The demand was meant for you, you being the one who addressed Remus as Daddy, but James didn‘t mind referring to him in that way.

James nodded, tongue peaking out to suck the finger in his mouth, teeth nipping a little.

„Never, Sir.“

You let out a breathy, „Yes, Sir“ and crawled tonwards them as well, leaning your head against Sirius‘ inner thigh to watch closely. God, really wanted to be James right now.

Sirius crossed his arms behind his head, relaxing when James‘ wet lips wrapped around him. James began slow, eyes closing in enjoyment the moment his taste buds registered the taste of Sirius‘ precum, his muscle memory instantly activated. His pink lips stayed wrapped around the head, his tongue licking the underside of Sirius‘ hard cock.

You whined softly, leaving kisses along his inner thighs and blinked up at him. Sirius paid you no mind, turning your head towards James again to make you watch. James, that fucker, still somehow managed to look smug with Sirius‘ cock stuffing his mouth. You could feel the amusement drip off him in waves.

Not able to contain yourself you let your hands trail over your Doms leg towards his cock, feeling along the vein. Sirius hissed at the gentle caress, hands tangling in your hair to pull your face closer to his. You groaned at the pain, gripping him tighter and his eyes fell shut for a moment, before he opened them again.

„You wanna touch my cock so bad? Hm? Is that why you‘re acting like a greedy whore?“

You wrapped your hand around his balls, squeezing them in your soft palms. Leaning in you brushed your lips against his, gazing deeply into his nearly black eyes. Sirius couldn’t concentrate like this, feeling James sucking his cock and having you so close made him dizzy with desire.

„Let us take care of you“ you purred softly, feeling your hand get wet with James‘ spit as he started to suck harder, clearly done with waiting. „Don‘t deny yourself what you want...“

Now that seemed to pull him out of his state and he pushed you down by your shoulders, forcing James‘ head down so far that his nose was smushed against the skin of his abdomen. He pushed your head down farther and you licked at his balls, sucking them messily. Sirius was writhing now, head thrown back and his mouth wide open, moans echoing in the soft glow of the room.

„Ah fuck yes there James-“

He trusted up into James mouth, voice breaking as he moaned the boys name, nearly sobbing with pleasure. He was finally giving in, spreading his legs to give you both space.

You tangled your hand in James‘ hair and pulled him off, glaring at him.

„I want him too.“

James glared back at you, not willing to share Sirius, but you beat him to it, wrapping your lips over the tip. Sirius whined, a high pitched, needy and absolutely filthy sound. James kissed the shaft, licking, spitting, jerking him off.

Your lips met as you sucked him, kissing with the tip of his cock between your open mouths and Sirius whimpered under you, seconds away from begging his subs, when James took him into his hot mouth and you went down on his balls. Sirius' head tilted back, face wide with an expression of sheer ecstasy. He came loudly, shouting out your names, spilling out onto your overlapping mouths.

„Fuck yes yes yes“ Sirius was wild with the force of his orgasm, not letting you back up until ever last drop of his cum was down your throats. Suddenly he pulled you up by your necks, heaving with effort.

„Show me.“

You opened your mouths and Sirius‘ face was so full of pleasure your thought that he was about to cum again. Groaning, he pressed your lips together and watched you kiss deeply, licking his cum from each others mouths.

„I will let you fuck“ he rasped „because you truly earned it. However, you will come when I say it. Yes?“

You and James immediately leaned forward to kiss him, making him chuckle at your eagerness. No wonder why he was the favorite Dom. Sirius sent a silent prayer to whoever was listening, begging the universe to never let Remus know of this. There is a reason for Sirius being a switch.

Sirius wasn‘t done with requesting and sat up against the headboard, pulling you to straddle his hips.

„You‘ll fuck her on my lap, James. I want to watch her come...“

James didn‘t really care and instead busied himself with fingering you, preparing your for his cock. You moaned loudly, wrapping your arms around Sirius‘ strong shoulders, doing your best not to cum on the spot. You couldn‘t stop yourself from shaking when James‘ thick fingers fucked your sweet spot with every push of his hand, your clit rubbing across Sirius‘ pubic bone.

„Already shaking, love?“ James mocked you, pushing in deeper to watch you crumble. „I haven‘t even started yet.“

Sirius raised his brow, daring him to go further. „If I recall correctly James, you were begging me mere minutes ago to suck my cock.“

James‘ eyes narrowed but he shut up, taking his anger out on you. He ripped his fingers out and instantly replaced them with his cock, making you scream at the stimulation. He didn‘t let you get used to him, not caring if you were hurting when he was feeling so fucking good.

Sirius kissed you, talking against your lips. „Don‘t scream, you wanted to be fucked. Here you go, baby.“

You were clawing all over Sirius‘ flesh, pushing back against James, your pleasure escaping you in sharp cries. James was feral, chasing his high, addicted to the feeling of your wet heat wrapped around his pulsing cock. His hands crushed your hips, his hand came up to push you down on Sirius‘ chest. Angling his hips he pounded in you and oh, he was hitting every spot inside of you with so much precision that you started to cry.

„Please“ you wailed „Please please let me cum!“

Sirius took your face in his hands, wiping away the tears as he stared at you, breathing hard as he watched James fuck you into pieces. He couldn‘t deny you this, not when you had that expression on your face and he caved, nodding curtly.

You came immediately, biting his wrist to keep in your screams and James‘ pace faltered. He keened and spilled himself inside of your cunt, pressing his face closer to Sirius. Sirius kissed him fiercely, wrapping his arms tightly around the both of you to keep you close to his strong chest.

„Well done, pups“ Sirius said softly, kissing your sweaty temples. „So good, so beautiful. Both of you, so special.“

James and you basked in his soft words, cuddling close, for once not arguing.

Sirius tapped your chins up, giving you a stern look, but his tone was somewhat humorous.

„Daddy can‘t know.“

---

There will be a part 3 (last part)

[proserpina-magnus]

☘️peter pettigrew

Hii! Like my other nsfw alphabets, this is a bit choppy and horribly edited. I hope you enjoy, mwah.

Peter Pettigrew Nsfw Alphabet

Reader: tried to make it nb as much as possible

Warning: pure smut and no editing.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Super sweet and gentle, definitely encourages you to take a nap and he'll bring you a snack or get you some water. He’ll rub your back and kiss your hot skin to cool you off. He definitely loves giving you praises and he’s spoil you rotten with his words.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves your hands, for some odd reason he just finds them so cute whenever you grip his hand for support as you climax or hold his cock.

His favourite body part on himself delphiers between days, but he’s usually very fond of his eyes. He’s very fortunate that he can look at you in such a lewd manner.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He usually always cums in a condom, but he loves cream pies. He, not so surprisingly, likes giving you oral for the exact reason he can taste you, he actually thinks he’s addicted to it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He’s ashamed to admit, but once he was talking to James about a certain time when he fucked you in the library and James got a hard on. He swore he wouldn’t tell and it’ll be their secret, but he always felt guilty for sexualizing you like that.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s okay, he knew some of the terminology due to the other Marauders but with actual hands on experience; he had no idea. He felt a bit nervous during your first time but he didn’t need much help, he’d just pay attention to your reactions and get a clear view of what you’d like and focus on that.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He likes when you ride him, he likes to hold your hips and just let you use him for your heart's desire. If he had to choose another, doggy would be his favourite.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Peter doesn’t know he’s being funny until you have to stop and laugh, he’ll be confused on what he’d say and get a goofy smile on his lips while watching you laugh. Sometimes just the first awkward start of sex and the small giggles feel better than the serious times, but Peter can be really gentle and intimate if he wanted to be.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He’s somewhat groomed, he doesn’t necessarily care for your hair down there or his own. It’s a bit darker than his head hair, but he trims it sometimes just to keep it neat.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Lots of neck kisses, he needs to constant “I love you’s” during sex even if it’s rough. He’s actually pretty gentle during some moments and cares about your pleasure over his.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He actually never liked it, he likes your mouth a lot more even if it was just for cock warming. He’d enjoy your hands better than his, but he also has a somewhat size kink and seeing your much smaller hands take his cock please him a lot more.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

There isn’t necessarily a set number of kinks, he’d love to try anything that isn’t too “weird” as he would call it. He never really likes to stick to one kink, more like spreading them out depending on his mood. One day he’d want to tie you up and the other he’d let you do whatever you wanted. He adores pillow prince(ss) though.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Anywhere, he’d fuck you in honey dukes, the three break sticks, closets, near the black lake, behind trees and bushes, his bed, your bed, his friends bed, shower, desks, professors desks, anywhere anytime.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Feminine clothing, something about it makes his head spin and he just loves fucking you in dresses. He also has a clothes kink, he’d love to fuck you in his clothes. Don’t even get him started on if you ever decide to wear sexual clothing, it’ll drive him crazy.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Major dom and sub roles (like day to day life style) feels him out, he can’t distribute or give out rules, he doesn’t like that type of control over someone or giving someone that control of him. He likes some parts of d/s and he’d definitely be comfortable with some aspects, but not full on life changing.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He prefers receiving oral sometimes, but he doesn’t expect it everytime. He loves giving, since he feels like it’s the only thing he’s good at. He’ll run his tongue and suck your sensitive flesh until he’s satisfied, giving you oral is more of a pleasure for himself.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Peter’s sex is soft yet rough, sometimes he just takes his time with dragging his cock deep inside of you and pulling it out. Others he just likes to bend you over and fuck you till your dumb. Sometimes he lacks compassion for how you’d take his cock, yet after he’s careful to check you over and soothe out any aches.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Only thing he looks forward to on school days. He’s already emotionally tired but getting a good fuck in a empty classroom or a bathroom stall always helps him get through the day, especially if you tell him you’d wait for him in his dorm later that night.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

It depends what the risk is, Peter likes to fuck you all over the place if he can. He definitely been given warnings by prefects way to many times.James and Sirius always say his animagi should be a bunny with all the fucking they catch you guys doing. Greatest risk he ever took was fucking you during a quidditch game behind the bleachers.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can go for a couple of rounds, depending if it’s just oral or penetration. He can spend hours just focusing on you, exploring your body and roping out orgasm after orgasm.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He definitely likes using a vibrator, dildos aren’t really his thing. He does have a few anal plugs, but he doesn’t use them as much as he would like too. He usually uses them for your pleasure, but he wouldn’t be opposed to having a cock ring on.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He’s actually a huge tease, he likes to place his hand on your thigh during class and just mindlessly rub his thumb right near your goods. He gives a dumb look like he doesn’t know what he’s doing, but his smirk whenever he catches your heavy breaths are apparent he knows exactly what he’s doing.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

The whimpers are the best part, he rarely moans, just mumble’s of “oh fuck” and heavy breaths. Especially the early morning sex, because his sensitivity is heightened and he’s just making gurgled whined and deep groans.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Honestly, he’d probably want to fuck you infront of his friends. Especially the days when they flirt or tease you, he’d just get this immediate thought to show them that he isn’t sharing you.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I’d estimate a good 7-9 inches, the exact number isn’t known but all I can say is the girth is the best part.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

It’s in and out, most months it’s normal for a teenage boy but other months he can go days without it, sometimes even weeks. But on the months he’s active, sex is a pretty regular thing everyday to day.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Peter is nocturnal, so it rarely depends on what time of day you guys had sex. If it’s on the weekends during midday, he probably will take a nap until dinner. If it’s in the morning… I don’t even think he could stay awake long enough to finish. But late at night it’s a whole new thing, he would probably cuddle you for a few moments until he knew you were asleep and work on his assignments and homework.

--

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[seriouslysnape]

Miscommunication (pt.2)

James Potter x Remus Lupin x Sirius Black x Fem! Reader

Warnings: Language. Poly! relationship. 

A/N: Part 1 is here!

Word Count: 3,376

“But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.”

It had been three weeks since you had stormed out of the boys’ dorm in a scurry of anger. It had also been three weeks since you had touched, talked to, or even spared Sirius a passing glance. As far as you were concerned, he didn’t even exist. Despite your dramatic exit, Sirius was confident that you’d crack soon enough and come running back to him, begging for forgiveness. But the more time that passed, the more that he was beginning to realize that might not be the case.

In a general sense, life continued on as it always had. You walked through the Hogwarts’ corridors with the three Gryffindors, laughing at James’ jokes and blushing red under Remus’ kisses. You gave all your love and time to James and Remus, not offering Sirius a drop of your attention. 

He tried to ignore it. He tried to brush it off like it didn’t bother him and like it didn’t make a difference whether you were with him or not. His attempts to drown you out the way you had been drowning him out were successful at first, but it only took about a week for him to realize how much this was killing him.

In the mornings, you woke James or Remus up (depending on whose bed you slept in the night before) with bubbly kisses and sweet giggles, something that you had always done for all three of the boys’ wake up calls. Sirius had gone almost 23 days (but not like he was COUNTING or anything) since he had any kind of interaction with you.

No cuddles.

No hugs.

No kisses.

Nothing.

The whole situation put James and Remus into a bit of an awkward position. You were on great terms with the two of them, considering they hadn’t insulted you and invalidated your feelings right in your face. This was a difficult challenge to tackle, because they felt guilty for continuing to love up on you when Sirius wasn’t getting his usual share. This was a rather particular arrangement that had taken lots of trial and error to make the right adjustments. Now that the balance had been thrown off, the whole thing didn’t feel right.

James and Remus had both tried to convince you to talk things out with Sirius. They knew that deep down this wasn’t what you wanted, and things couldn’t go on like this forever. James and Remus knew Sirius better than anybody. They were fully aware that Sirius was regretting what he had done and was kicking himself for it...even if Sirius wouldn’t show it or admit to it. 

Sirius was beginning to lose precious sleep over this. He tossed and turned in his bed that had grown so lonely without you. His arms felt so empty not being wrapped around you, holding you snugly to his body. Suddenly, he didn’t have anyone to help him with his Potions homework or someone to remind him about his Transfiguration exam coming up. He didn’t have the girl that completed the complex puzzle that was Sirius Black. He felt so unfinished without you.

He missed you.

But his pride was winning out.

“How’s the brat today?” Sirius questioned dryly, not even looking up from his Herbology textbook in his lap.

“Sirius.” Remus and James echoed, clearly displeased at Sirius’ cold name for you.

Over the last three weeks, Sirius would ask about you when you weren’t around and he was alone with the boys. He would ask how you were doing, but what he really wanted to know was if you had said anything about him or given any indications that you were close to giving in. James and Remus were growing impatient with Sirius. They had tried to step back, allowing both yourself and Sirius to have time to allow your fog of frustration to air out. They had hoped that Sirius would come around to realize that he had been wrong in all kinds of ways, and you both could work it out on your own.

Between stepping all over your feelings like they were a sidewalk and calling you a bitch for being rightfully upset, Sirius had one too many strikeouts on his record.

“What? If she’s going to act like a child, then I’ll treat her like one.” Sirius growled.

James crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back in the chair that he was sitting in by the common room’s fireplace. Remus watched the two of them from over the rim of his cup that contained his favorite hot tea. 

“She’s hurt, Sirius. You hurt her,” James snarled, eyebrows furrowed in agitation, “I don’t blame her for not wanting to talk to you.”

“Did you not hear the things she said to me? She was totally out of line.” Sirius argued, his demeanor going rigid and his defensive mode kicking into high gear.

“Because you pushed her too hard,” Remus cut in, “She has every right to be upset.”

Sirius was shocked that they were taking your side over his. You were never allowed to speak to any of them the way you had talked to Sirius that day. You weren’t allowed to talk back, get an attitude, touch yourself without permission, as well as other rules that had been established early on in the relationship. They all took the rules very seriously, and the fact that James and Remus were brushing it off was mind boggling to Sirius.

“I didn’t push her at all. She caught an attitude with me.” Sirius remarked tossing his textbook aside.

“Because you don’t always treat her the way you should,” Remus snapped, “All she wanted was for you to listen and talk to her.” 

“Do I not already do enough for her? I walk her to class, I let her sleep with me, not to mention that I fuck her pretty much whenever she wants,” Sirius pointed out, “And now I’m still not doing enough?”

James shook his head, sighing harshly. He was disappointed that he still wasn’t getting it. 

“She’s our girl, Padfoot. She responds so well to Moony and me because she knows how much we love her,” James explained, “You’ve got to start treating her like you love her.”

Sirius’ hardened features went light at what James was saying. He looked between his two best friends, who were sharing matching expressions of urgency. Sirius felt a sickening feeling creeping into his stomach that he could feel all the way up into his throat. Had you gone this whole time thinking that he didn’t love you like the other two did?

“But...I do love her.” Sirius spoke, almost in a whisper.

James and Remus looked at one another briefly, a bit relieved that he was maybe starting to see clearly now.

“She doesn’t know that. You’re going to lose her for good if you don’t change some things, Pads.” Remus added once he saw that Sirius was beginning to have a serious breakthrough moment.

That surely got Sirius’ attention. That wasn’t something he wanted at all. It made his heart hurt even to think about possibly never being with you again. He had to fix this, no matter what he had to do or say.

He just hoped that it wasn’t too late.

The remorse and the contrition that he was feeling that had been building up in him over the last three weeks was finally seeping through the cracks of the surface. It was like a fire that just kept spreading and spreading until the only thing he could see were the hot, orange flames and black smoke that would suffocate him if he breathed in too hard. It was like a switch had flipped. He couldn’t stand it anymore. He didn’t care about his pride or his image or his dignity. 

He just wanted you back.

So, the boys began to devise a plan. Sirius admitted that he didn’t know how to even begin apologizing to you. He wasn’t great with apologies, considering that even the word ‘sorry’ probably had only fallen from his mouth only a couple of times in his life. This was going to take some calculation and planning to get it right. 

You had been doing a bang up job of ensuring that you weren’t ever alone with Sirius. You made sure that either James or Remus was by your side whenever you were in Sirius’ presence, to avoid being forced to speak to him. Remus and James were confident that they could get you two in a room alone together. That was the easy part. The hard part would fall to Sirius, which came down to the actual apology.

James and Remus knew you’d be suspicious if Sirius apologized first. You’d likely only think he was apologizing because he was touch starved and wanted sex, not because he cared about you and was terrified of losing you. In their eyes though, as long as he was honest and didn’t lose his cool, you’d be able to see his real intentions.

Remus had told you to meet him in their dorm, and that no one would be there until later in the day. That seemed pretty normal to you, so you didn’t even give it a second thought. The dorm was empty when you arrived, prompting you to slip out of your uniform and into one of Remus’ sweaters all while getting comfortable on his bed. Shortly after you were settled, the three boys congregated just outside the door, whispering in their semi-circle formation.

“You got this, mate. Just be normal and be honest,” James instructed, “I guarantee you that she’s missing you just as much.”

Sirius was nervous. Not because he didn’t know what to say or what to do, but because he had half convinced himself that you had already decided he wasn’t worth your time anymore. He couldn’t live with himself if he was the reason you had left him.

“We’ll be out here just in case you need us,” Remus piped up, “It’s gonna be fine, Pads.”

James and Remus gave Sirius reassuring grins as Sirius took a deep breath before turning the knob of the door. He entered the small dorm room, his heart fluttering when he saw you sitting on Remus’ mattress. Your head snapped up, your face full of delightful expectation for Remus, but it faded just as fast as it came when you saw it was Sirius. He definitely noticed, but tried not to take it to heart. Your eyes were locked in with his, and you could already tell something was up.

“Hey.” Sirius said plainly, and in a bit of a squeak.

“Hi.” You replied.

He was honestly surprised that you actually gave him an answer. He thought you might’ve ignored him completely. The joyous relief that he felt from you actually talking to him was almost enough to send him to his knees, pleading for you to give him another chance. 

His gaze did shift to the book that was placed next to you. It was your Herbology textbook, the same one that Sirius had been studying from earlier that day.

“Studying for Herbology?” Sirius asked, but obviously that wasn’t what he wanted to talk about.

“Yeah,” You answered, unsure of what exactly was happening, “I was just waiting for Remus.”

Sirius nodded, avoiding the sting that burned in his chest at the reminder that he hadn’t truly seen you in almost a month. You looked so comfortable in the large sweater and the blanket that was draped over your lap. Your hair was slightly messy from the breeze outside that you had walked through to get here. Your skin was glowing from the warmth of their room and the sudden interaction you were having with Sirius.

You looked perfect to him.

He knew he needed to say something now. He needed to kick start this conversation before things got awkward and weird. Although, he never minded silence as long as he had you to occupy his every thought. All the things that he had planned to say were abruptly wiped from his mind. He was going out on a limb here, totally about to wing this. He just had to go for it.

“Can I sit?” He questioned, referring to the slight open space next to you.

You nodded hesitantly, shifting over so he could have a little more room. He sat down just about a foot in front of you, both of you turning to face each other. James and Remus were just outside the door, their ears pressed up against the door to be sure they didn’t miss anything.

Sirius looked at you for a few moments, taking in your curious, attentive behavior. He took a breath, and spoke again, but it came out as more of a ramble.

“Baby, I know I’ve hurt your feelings. I didn’t want or mean to hurt your feelings, but sometimes I just say stupid shit and then I’m too proud to admit that I said something stupid and...” He trailed off when he realized that so far he wasn’t saying anything that you didn’t already know. 

This was yet another reminder that Sirius wasn’t a great talker. But he wanted to let you know the things that you didn’t already know. He wanted you to know that he was truly sorry. He was sorry for ever making you feel like you weren’t worth anything to him. 

He wanted you to know that you were his world.

“I miss you,” He began again, preparing for any possible reaction from you,  “I’m sorry for everything I said. I’m sorry that I hurt you...I never, ever wanted to do that.”

Your silence wasn’t because you weren’t believing what he was saying or because you didn’t want to listen. You were silent because you were floored that this was happening. Never in a million years did you think that you’d be sitting here listening to a real, heartfelt apology from Sirius Black. The thought of you leaving him had really scared him, and you could see it.

“I know I’m different from Moony and Prongs. They’re a bit better at this than I am,” He admitted, “But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.”

Truth be told, you weren’t really mad at Sirius anymore. You could never stay angry at him. Your whole avoid-Sirius-at-all-costs routine hadn’t exactly been a walk in the park for you either. There were several times where you were tempted to just let it go and forget about it. But now you were glad that you hadn’t done that, because you would’ve lost this opportunity to understand one another a little better.

“All I had wanted that day was to talk to you. I like talking to you,” You explained, “I just get frustrated when you don’t want to listen and the only thing you can think about is fucking me.”

Sirius sighed, his eyes diverting to his hands that were fiddling with the edge of the blanket in your lap. He had known that the other two boys were right, but hearing it come from you made him feel even more guilty.

“I know. I guess I’m just not good at talking. It’s not that I didn’t want to, it’s just...not what I’m good at. I’m sorry that I made you feel like you weren’t important,” Sirius confessed, “But I do love you. And I don’t want to go another day without you.”

Another silence filled the room, one that had Sirius’ heart pounding in his chest. He felt like his entire life was on the line. Like, his entire fate was resting on whatever you were going to say or do next. You had every right to get up and walk out and never speak to him again. He knew he had crossed so many lines so many times that it was a wonder you were still here. He just hoped that you’d give him another chance. He hoped that he deserved another chance.

You were starstruck. You were completely touched and moved by what he had said. Maybe it wasn’t the most flawless apology ever. Maybe it was a little rough around the edges with a couple of hiccups. But deep down it was true, honest, and pure. 

Just like the Sirius Black that you had come to love.

He didn’t have anything else to say, and he hoped that what he had said was enough. Your warm hand came to his face, his head lulling into your palm when you brought his worried eyes to look at you once more. 

“I love you. I promise you don’t have to go without me anymore.” You smiled, accepting his apology and offering your forgiveness.

All color returned to Sirius’ face, his shoulders relaxing and his chest releasing a bated breath. You captured his lips into a needy kiss, one that was nothing short of long awaited. Sirius’ hands came to the side of your neck, his blood pumping in his ears. He had missed this. 

He had missed you.

He was even more thrilled when you crawled over into his lap, his hands guiding your legs around him as he refused to let you go from his lips. Although, when the other two boys came bursting in, your hot make out session was forced to a halt. They came in as if they had no idea what was going on, fake surprised expressions plastered on their faces.

“Well, hello there.” James chided with a smirk.

“Did we miss something?” Remus asked.

You and Sirius only laughed, as the four of you crammed together on Remus’ bed. Sirius continued to pepper kisses wherever he could while you craned your head to look at James as he spoke.

“So, I guess the two of you got things worked out?” James acquired. 

“We sure did.” You smiled, giggling when Sirius’ kisses brushed against a particularly sensitive spot on your neck.

Your lips found his again, Sirius leaning you back onto the mattress and keeping secured there. When your breathing began to get heavy and your noises became a little hungrier, James and Remus announced their exit.

“Well, I suppose Prongs and I will leave you to it.” Remus winked.

Sirius broke the kiss only to respond, but that didn’t stop you from leaning upwards to suck on his pulse point, not even phased by what Remus had said.

“You two aren’t going to stick around?” Sirius wondered, groaning as your hips rolled into his quickly hardening dick through his pants.

James shrugged.

“We’ll let it slide this time,” He said triumphantly, ushering Remus out the door, “Besides, the two of you have some catching up to do.”

Sirius let out a guttural laugh as he took a moment to look down at you. You looked so beautiful sprawled out underneath him; your lips swollen from the kissing and your eyes blown with lustful expectation. He knew he’d never be able to take you for granted again.

“My pretty girl...” He mewled, “I love you. A million times over I’ll tell you that I love you.”

“I love you, Siri,” You hummed, swiping a loose piece of hair from his forehead, “Now make me cum the way I know you know how to.”

Sirius chuckled lowly at your boldness, his pupils dilating at the flush of arousal that sent through him. You knew better than to tell him how to run his show, but he knew this was a special occasion, so he didn’t mind taking an order or two. 

“Well, now, what happened to ‘sex doesn’t fix everything’?” Sirius joked.

“It doesn’t, but we already fixed what needed to be fixed by talking,” You smiled, “Now we just both get something we want.”

Sirius laughed out loud, continuing his shower of kisses and swiping your skirt off in one swift move, your body squirming with anticipation. He felt confident that things would be better now. He was more than thankful that he had another shot at this. He was happy he had you back, and the four of you could go back to normal.

And now things would be even better than before.

***

Tags: @justadreamyhufflepuff​ @satellitespidey​ @blackpinkdolan​ @gubleryum​ @gxtitobxby​ @risingtripletaurus​​

[theresthesnitch]

October 28, 1981

We can figure everything out together, I said. James and I, I said. 

And Sirius, apparently. 

I shouldn’t feel angry. Sirius visiting shouldn’t bother me. It doesn’t bother me. I love it when Sirius visits, and it’s so good for James. 

Normally. 

Except the potion is ready and James and I could figure this out. Instead, Sirius is here, and we won’t tell him before we know and we can’t find out while he is still here invading our space. 

~~~

I feel a bit guilty about what I said about Sirius. I mean, a bit. He doesn’t know that he’s invading, or that I am secretly dying to know what the potion will say. He didn’t deserve my ire. 

~~~

He’s leaving he’s leaving he’s leaving he’s leaving

GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, BLACK. 

~~~

Continue reading on page 6. 

Fuck. 

The test is positive. 

I’m pregnant. 

James and I have a lot to talk about. 

~~~

We talked, and somehow it hasn’t made me any less terrified. I don’t know how…

James and I were worried the first time, with Harry. We were just kids, and soldiers, and having a baby was a big endeavor. That was before we knew what having a baby really meant. 

Having Harry is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I thought I knew what I was getting into, but I honestly had no idea. It was simultaneously the hardest and most wonderful thing I’ve ever done. There were days that he would just not stop crying, no matter what I did or said. But then, the tears would break, and he would smile that gummy little smile at me, and it would all be worth it. I’ve never felt so weak and also so strong. To do it all over again, while also fighting a war or hiding from a war. I don’t even know how we would cope. 

James says we will cope because we have no choice to do anything other than cope, but I don’t know that it is enough. We didn’t plan for this, and there is so much that uncertainty with having a second baby in the situation we are in. How can we possibly have a baby now?

What’s worse

What’s worse is I know that it may not matter. I don’t know that James and I will get out of this. I don’t see a way that we possibly can, what with Harry being the one fated to kill him. If I die before this baby is born, then the baby won’t survive either. It couldn’t survive either. 

Maybe I should fight harder for myself to live, but I don’t even know what fighting will look like. If it is as simple as staying here, safe behind our charm, then I will do it as long as is necessary to protect my children--both of them, for as long as I can. 

If I must fight for Harry, then I will. I will still place myself in front of him and fight to delay my inevitable death. 

This new baby, the little Snitch, as James calls it, deserves a chance at life. I just hope I can give it to them. 

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

TW: Eating Disorders

Being friends with James Potter and Sirius Black was exhausting. Peter had followed them around like a lost puppy after he was rescued by them from some bullies. Peter thought they were the coolest lads he had met. There was something about the way they thought they could do anything, like they were unstoppable, that made them attractive to be around. When Peter started being included, he felt at the top of the world. It felt incredible. When they got the nickname for him Wormtail, (he was the first) and they started calling themselves The Marauders, Peter felt like he could be part of something.

But at the same time, Peter felt he could never be at their same level. James and Sirius had a secret language he couldn't reach. It would always be James and Sirius, plus Peter.

When James and Sirius teased him, Peter felt special somehow. Even though sometimes Peter felt like an idiot afterwards. He wasn't cool as them. He wasn't handsome and flirty as Sirius. He wasn't funny and confident like James. He often compared himself with his friends. The way girls were attracted to them and didn't even pay attention to Peter. Peter wasn't attractive, interesting, funny or smart. The only thing he had were his ocean blue eyes.

When Remus came along, things started changing within the group. A fourth member complicated things. Especially for Peter. Remus was special for Sirius. Sirius worshipped him. And even if James didn’t want to include a new member within The Marauders, Remus soon won over his heart. And Remus quickly became the solid third place.

Peter didn't hate Remus. He was a good lad. But he was jealous of the way it was so easy for him to be part of The Marauders.

"Okay, Wormy... How are you?" James grinned suspiciously. James was using that comforting smile of his. While Sirius and Remus where behind him, looking worried and concerned.

"I am doing fantastic, Prongs" Peter answered sarcastically "What is going on?"

The three boys looked between each other. Peter hated the way he was left out.

"Well..."

"This is an intervention, Wormtail" Sirius spat.

"Yeah... Yes, my mate" James scratched his head nervously "We are a bit... Slightly worried about you..."

Peter's eyes immediately went to Remus. He told them. He promised he wouldn't say anything and he did. Actually Remus never technically promised but Peter assumed he wouldn't say a thing.

"We have been noticing... That you... Have been eating... Less and less..." James swallowed.

"What the fuck, Wormtail? Are you starving yourself?" Sirius asked.

"Padfoot..." James warned.

"I want to know..."

Peter looked at Remus.

"You told them, didn't you?" he was furious.

Now Remus looked guilty. But he didn't answer.

"You promised, Remus!" Peter yelled now "You fucking promised"

"I had to tell them, Pete" Remus murmured.

Somehow with Remus it was easy. The two of them knew that they didn't actually belong in The Marauders as much as James and Sirius did. They were just there out of coincide. That gave them a special bond. But Remus had betrayed him.

"And we deserve to know, Peter!" Sirius spat "We are your friends. Us Marauders support each other, don't we?"

Sometimes Peter really hated Sirius. He was so selfish. Like he told them everything anyway. Sirius was always hiding his own problems.

"We just want to know if you have a problem, so we will be able to help you" James gave him a sweet smile.

James' only issue was that the girl he fancied didn't like him back. But he had everything. Honestly, he could pick anyone else. Plenty of birds would die for Prongs.

"I don't know what Remus told you" Peter shrugged "I am fine... I've just been a little stressed with exams lately and other stuff and that made me lose my appetite a bit... That's all"

Peter didn't want to be judged. Peter didn't want to be weak. Peter didn't want to be the fat kid that had eating problems.

"Are you?" James asked carefully "Because I actually have been noticing you have lost appetite..."

"Have you?" Peter interrupted "Because all you notice are Evans' boobs!"

Sirius giggled with that "True", but Peter was being serious.

"And you, Padfoot! You only care about your stupid hair"

"Hey!"

"Peter..." James sighed

"No!" Peter snapped irritated, standing up "It is all you do... You think about yourselves and your issues. And none of mine matter, so leave me the fuck alone..."

"Your issues matter, Peter" Remus spoke as Peter was walking away. He stopped "Not eating is not okay... And are just trying to understand to be there for you because we are your friends!"

Peter didn't want to have this issue. He was so embarrassed and he felt like he wanted to cry.

"Peter, you are important to us" James added "I would choose you guys before anything and anyone... Including Evans, okay?"

"Sorry for being harsh, Pete" Sirius said apologetically "You know me being an idiot and making jokes of things I shouldn't. But I do care about you"

Peter turned around slowly and looked at his friends concerned faces. Peter loved them even if sometimes he hated them for being what he wished he was. But they couldn't help who they were. Peter was the one who was insecure. He thought he wasn't enough. Even as a Marauder. And now he was sick. Perhaps he was sick. And he hated that.

Peter couldn't take it anymore and he began crying, covering his face.

"I am sorry..." he sobbed.

Seconds passed until he felt his friends' arms around him.

"I don't know what to do. I don't know how to stop... I don't want you to be worried.... I am sorry"

"It's okay, Wormy" James kissed his head "We will figure it out"

"This is what friends are for" Remus added.

"We love you, Wormy" Sirius added, stroking his hair.

"I love you too" Peter whispered. And he let himself be embraced by them.

Being a Marauder was the best thing that had happened to him. Even though James and Sirius acted like idiots, they were good people. They were the kind of people that would accept Peter for who he was. Even with his problem. And Remus was an incredible boy as well.

Peter did have the best friends in the world.

[miamlfy]

Finally

A/N: After nearly three months of not posting, I finally completed a fic. Feel free to give me feedback on this and just know my inbox is always open.

Pairing: Sirius Black x Fem!Reader

Summary: Sirius finally gives you the ring he promised you two years ago.

Warnings: THIS IS A PART TWO TO FUTURE TALK - read part one before this one! Mentions of death and most likely mistakes I missed

Word Count: 1,1k

Masterlist

Enjoy!

(Not my gif, credit to whoever made it)

Two years have passed since the war ended. None of you thought to see the day when you could safely leave your house without having the sickly thought of being followed. Although it felt nice to no longer be at risk, most of the order was gone. A lot of lives were taken in order for war to end. The deaths of Marlene and Dorcas hit you the hardest, and you only wished they could once again live their lives unafraid.

Sirius also wished the same for his kid brother, Regulus. He felt so proud of him when it became known that it was Regulus who betrayed Voldemort and helped destroy him but that didn’t stop Sirius from feeling guilty, he left Regulus alone when he should have been there protecting him from the evil world.

James and Lily were finally safe to come out of hiding, and Remus could finally spend another full moon with his friends altogether. It became known that Peter was working alongside Voldemort, however he was still a part of your family and the five of you began to work on forgiving and trusting him again.

Since that night you and Sirius spoke about your futures together, Sirius has been waiting for the perfect time to go ring shopping and pick out the perfect one for you. He only hoped that you didn’t forget about that night and that your engagement, if he could call it that was still on. He just waited on the perfect day to go to the jewelry store.

Thankfully distracting you wasn’t a difficult task as you took up the duty on renovating the Grimmauld Place during the weekends with the help of Kreacher—somehow the house elf took a liking for you. The only issue now was trying to get James to go with him, ever since Lily became pregnant with their second child James has become clingier then ever and demands to be at his wife’s side 24/7.

“C’mon James, this is a special moment for me, and I need you, as my future best man, to accompany me!” Sirius pleaded.

James stood for a moment thinking with a finger over his lips. “No.” He said. Sirius let out a frustrated sigh.

“I went with you! Why won’t you come with me?”

“Because Sirius, what if Lily needs something and she can’t get it or what if Harry gets into something he isn’t supposed to get into?” James proceeded to look over to his three-year-old who was inches away from pulling their cat’s tail. James ran to move Harry away and placed him on his hip.

“James if you don’t come with me, I won’t visit you for a week and I’ll take Harry with me!” Sirius said in a semi threatening tone.

“You wouldn’t?!”

“Oh, I would, without hesitation James. Without hesitation.” Sirius began taking Harry out of his father’s arms, making James grip his son slightly tighter.

“Fine, I’ll go…if Lily gives me permission.” Sirius rolled his eyes as James ran to where Lily was.

Convincing Lily only took three seconds, which wasn’t very surprising considering she would complain to you on how annoying James was becoming and she needed a break from him. James and Sirius were now entering their fifth jewelry store, Sirius was having the hardest time finding the perfect ring for you.

Sirius was extremely close into taking home an Emerald ring with a silver band until James said it looked too Slytherin. However, James was becoming incredibly picky with any ring Sirius was close to buying.

“James, I hope you know this ring is for Y/n and not for you.” Sirius said slightly annoyed.

After visiting three more stores, Sirius and James both found a ring that they would both agree on. The ring would perfectly match your skin tone along with the stone. The next step on his plan was to figure out a good way to propose to you.

Sirius spent at least two weeks coming up with ideas, but nothing seemed good enough until he remembered the exact words, he said to you two years prior.

“I want you to marry me after this god-awful war, I want to marry you and I want to have children with you. I want the happiness, the love, the joy, the tears, and even the sadness and anger. I want it all with you. Take this as a proposal or whatever but I want to marry you after all this.”

Sirius thought to himself if it was a good idea to do it this way, but he promised you a ring and he’s going to give you said ring. Stuffing the ring into this jacket, he apparated to where you were as you were starting to spend more days renovating the once horrid house.

Entering the house, he noticed the walls were freshly painted and furniture that was more up to date. Hearing your softs singing coming the kitchen, Sirius ran down the hallway ignoring Kreacher’s comments towards him running in the house.

He stood by the entrance for a few seconds, admiring you as you were in your own world painting the cabinets. Taking out the ring box from his jacket, he opened it looking at the ring once more before placing it front of you.

Slightly confused at what was blocking your view, you pushed Sirius’ hand back to have a clear look at what he was trying to show you.

“Sirius what is this?” You asked, still staring at the ring.

“It’s the ring I promised you, my love.” He spoke softly. You felt your heart start to pound at his words. “Two weeks ago, I went out to buy it with Prongs just how I said I would.”

Tears began to fill your eyes as you turned around to face him, you honestly didn’t think he remembered since none of those thoughts were never spoken about since that night.

“I want to continue being with you for the rest of my life, you’re already working on our future home and it’s only fair that we live in it as a married couple. So, will you ma— “

“Sirius just put the damn ring on me already! Of course, I’ll marry you!” You said excitedly, cutting him off.

Sirius laughed as he took the ring out of the box and placed it on your finger. You held your left hand up, admiring the beautiful ring he chose for you.

“It’s perfect darling. I love you and can’t wait for what the future brings us” You said, kissing him afterwards.

“I love you too and I can’t wait either.” Sirius and you held each other tightly, not wanting the moment to end.

“We’re still naming our future kid Elvendork, right?” You said, breaking the silence.

“For Merlin’s sake Y/n, when are you letting the name go?”

[lovely-jily]

"Enjoying yourself?"

"Jesus!" Lily jumped at the sound of his voice, the hairs on the back of her neck standing up in reaction to his breath against her ear. She turned to face him, smacking his chest with the hand that wasn't holding her drink, "You've got to give a girl some warning!"

James laughed. Although it wasn't his intention to scare her, he wasn't necessarily upset that he had, "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you."

She rolled her green eyes, "Sure you didn't."

She looked absolutely stunning, donning a form-fitting, silky, black dress with a slit up the side that stopped at her mid-thigh. It also left most of her back exposed, which meant that James had spent most of Slughorn's party not only looking at the way it accentuated her body, but he was also trying his damn hardest to ignore the fact that she probably didn't have a bra on.

The room was big, busy with excited teenagers talking to their dates and many of the guests Slughorn had invited. James wasn't really interested in any of them, as Lily's dress was also sleeveless, revealing not only most of her chest but also some slight cleavage. While the boy tried his absolute hardest to focus on other things and felt immensely guilty every time he stole a forbidden glance and thought of dirty things, he was seventeen, and no amount of magic couldn't really stop him.

It also didn't help that the pair had gotten quite cozy in a broom closet and an empty classroom one or two times. While they weren't dating, the two discovered some of the many physical benefits the other could bring to the table.

"Honestly, though, are you having any fun?" James leaned against the small table set up for couples to stand and enjoy some of the many hors d'oeuvres that were being served. He noticed Lily had been there for a while and seemed to be stewing over something while her date, Jeffery Biers, was nowhere to be seen.

Prick.

Lily sighed and faced the party again. Her glass was half empty of whatever carbonated beverage she was drinking. Her red hair was in a sort of updo on the base of her neck, exposing it and therefore not helping James in his ever losing battle of Stop-Sexualizing-Evans-And-Be-The-Respectful-Young-Man-Your-Mother-Taught-You-To-Be.

"It's alright. Although a while ago, my date seemed to accidentally stumble into Joan Fisher, and I haven't seen him since."

James felt his jaw tighten, one of the few giveaways he had when it came to his emotions. No one in their right mind would ditch or take advantage of Lily Evans. Not only was her date given the blessing of going out with the witch, but he was also dumb enough to take advantage of it. James would never.

"That's no fun. Not a good move on his part, ditching you and flirting with another person's date."

"Isn't that what you're doing right now?" The girl turned her face to him, a mischievous twinkle in her green eyes, her smirk enticing. What James would give to be able to taste her lipgloss...

"Sirius doesn't mind. Besides, I'm not flirting," The boy leaned into her ear, the corners of his mouth pulling up slightly to form the smirk that had driven Lily Evans crazy for the past seven years. Of course, recently, it made her crazy in the I-Want-To-Take-Off-All-Your-Clothes sort of way and not the I-Am-Going-To-Murder-You way.

"Unless you'd like me to," he whispered softly, the sound of his amusement clear. He saw Lily's skin get goosebumps and felt a swell in his chest. He took pride in his ability to make her feel the way she made him feel.

"Now, that wouldn't be appropriate with such an audience around, would it?" She smirked back, glancing at his lips for a second and then back to his eyes. James remembered how they felt against his: hard, fast, passionate. Ever since their last "special" moment together, his lips had felt so empty without hers on them.

James decided that if she was going to increase the tension, then he would too. It wouldn't be fair to allow her to be the only one teasing. He brought his eyes to her neck, where faint purple bruises were still visible from their enjoyable escapade in a broom closet the other night.

He brought his hand to touch them gingerly, knowing what and how his light touch could make her feel. His attempts to rouse something up in her seemed to be working as she bit her lip subconsciously. His smirk was still painted on his face.

"You covered those up well."

"Ah, yes," She smiled, trying to focus as James delicately traced his fingers over the faded love bites, "Hickeys aren't very Head Girl appropriate."

"That wasn't what you said the other night."

She turned around, leaning against her forearms and getting close to his face. James recognized the mischievous glint in her eye and prepared for her to say something that he knew would do him in.

"Speaking of head-"

"Lily!"

James silently cursed Jeffery Biers for ruining the moment because for a second, it seemed like Lily Evans, Head Girl, was going to make a pun about oral sex, and it was incredibly unlikely that James would ever be in this situation again.

As he approached the pair of them, James didn't try to hide his glare. While it went right over Jeffery's head, Lily seemed to be taking some enjoyment from James's lack of amusement.

"Care for a dance?" He asked Lily.

"Of course, Jeff, I'd be delighted," she turned to look at James, who was doing a terrible job at hiding his jealously, "Meet me in the Heads office after this, and we can discuss that important business that you wanted to talk about, yeah?"

She winked as she walked away with Biers, causing James to forget about his jealousy and a particular appendage of his rather excited.

[siriuslystarbucks]

Every ‘I Love You’

Written for Starbuck Ship Week run by @prongsfoot-discord Day 1: Time Loops. I’ve never done a time loop fic before lol

Pairing: James Potter/Sirius Black

Tags: AU: No Voldemort, Love Confessions, Time Loop, Angst, Confusion, First Kiss, Communication, Getting Together

Summary: One night, James tells Sirius that he loves him. He does it again the next night. And the next and the next, and Sirius doesn't know how long he's been living this day, but he would like it to stop, thanks, because he still doesn't know what to reply. 

Read below or on AO3

James woke him up that morning. Not by shaking him awake-- which was something he'd done plenty of times because he claimed that having to be the only one up was a horrible fate-- but by whistling. He was in an overly cheerful mood this morning, and he was whistling tunelessly as he walked about the room, getting ready.

Sirius pulled his curtains open but didn't otherwise try to rouse himself. He was perfectly comfortable where he was.

"Sod off with that!" Moony yelled, throwing a pillow at James.

It hit him harmlessly in the side. James paused whistling for long enough to pick it up, then he started whistling again-- louder, this time, to prove a point about how untouchable his happiness was-- and he walked over to Moony's bed, then started whacking his legs with the pillow. "You've got to get up if you want breakfast," he said, practically singing the words.

Sirius grinned, too tired to join in on the teasing but enjoying it all the same.

James looked over at him, as if sensing that he was watching, and his smile widened. He winked, whacked Moony one more time, then dropped it at the side of his bed to continue getting ready.

"Ready for another thrilling day of classes?" James asked him as he got closer.

"As thrilling as they ever are," Sirius responded around a yawn. Not one of his best replies, but James was smiling at him like it was award-winning.

Classes were as boring as advertised, and that night, they were down in the common room, tucked away on a couch together, doing their homework.

"I love you," James said. He looked at Sirius with hearts in his eyes. He was so sincere that it made Sirius's chest hurt.

"I-" Merlin, what was he going to say? "I'm sorry," he said by rote. It's what he said to the people that confessed their feelings to him. Half the time he didn't even recognise them, so it wasn't hard to let them down easy. Even for the people he knew, it wasn't that difficult to tell them that he was sorry, but he didn't feel the same. Looking at James was completely different. James meant something to him; James meant the world to him, and as soon as he said the word 'sorry', James looked crushed.

"Oh. I- no I'm the one that's sorry. I thought... I mean, I thought that you were- well, I was wrong. Doesn't matter." He turned back to his book. His shoulders hunched up towards his shoulders as his face burned red.

Normally, when he was upset, Sirius would try to make him feel better. Since he was the cause this time, he thought it would be for the best that he didn't try to comfort him.

After a minute of awkward silence, James muttered, "I'm calling it an early night."

"Goodnight," Sirius mumbled, just as quietly.

He shuffled away and up the stairs to the dormitory, looking defeated.

Sirius felt like scum. He well and truly did. He didn't know what he could've said to James that would've been better, but he did feel bad about it. By the time he went up to the dormitory-- after giving it plenty of time-- James's curtains were drawn, and he seemed to be asleep.

The next morning, Sirius knew that the air would be fragile. He pulled his own curtains open first thing, but he took plenty of time getting ready. He didn't want for James to think that he'd rushed to get away from seeing him or summat.

When James woke, he seemed... cheerful. He was even whistling tunelessly to himself, just like he'd done yesterday. Sirius only remembered that he'd been whistling yesterday because it had annoyed Moony so much that he'd-

"Sod off with that!" Moony yelled, throwing a pillow at him.

It hit James harmlessly in the side. Just like it had yesterday. James paused whistling for long enough to pick it up, then he started whistling again as he walked over to Moony's bed and started whacking his legs with the pillow. "You've got to get up if you want breakfast," he sang.

This was just like yesterday. Sirius frowned as a feeling of dread crawled over him. It was like yesterday had never happened.

James looked over to Sirius with a grin, but it faded after a few seconds.

Okay, so he'd just been being paranoid. James remembered what happened yesterday. He'd just been trying to pretend like everything was still normal. Sirius sent him a weak smile.

"Are you alright?" James asked, walking over in concern.

"Yeah. I just didn't want to make things awkward for you. After last night."

The concern was replaced with confusion. "What do you mean, last night?"

"When we... y'know, talked. In the common room."

"We weren't in the common room last night. We went for a run in the Forbidden Forest, remember? Went straight up to bed when we got back." James wasn't messing with him. His expression was one hundred percent serious. He wasn't joking around or playing a weird prank. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Fine," Sirius said automatically. What he 'remembered' from yesterday must've been a dream. A horrendously vivid dream, but a dream all the same. "A little tired, I guess."

...But if it had been a dream, then why had Prongs and Moony's interaction been the exact same this morning?

*

"I love you," James said.

"Why?" Sirius asked. He was curious. He honestly couldn't wrap his head around it. The first time James said it, he'd been blindsided. It still didn't sit right with him. There was a twist in his stomach when James said it. Three little words, and he was taken entirely out of himself. James said 'I love you' and Sirius had no confidence, not for himself, not for James, and absolutely none for their relationship. He was second guessing all of it, and without James being able to remember it when a new day dawned, he couldn't move past it. He'd gotten used to James listening and giving him advice.

James smiled faintly at him when he asked. "It's not any one thing."

"No, but... why me? Surely there's someone else out there that you'd rather be with."

"I can't imagine being in love with someone else," James said, which made the knot in Sirius's stomach squeeze tighter. "Isn't it what everyone wants? To be with their best mate?"

"I don't think so," Sirius said honestly. It sounded... very James, but not like anyone else. He couldn't imagine Moony or Wormtail wanting to date their best friend.

*

“I love you,” James said, looking over at Sirius earnestly. It was the first time he’d ever said it. At least, as far James was concerned, that was true.

Sirius had been living this day over and over. Each Tuesday night, no matter what he did in the day, James would confess to him. He’d done this at least ten times already, and he still didn’t know what to say in response.

James’s expression fell a little at his extended silence. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”

“What would you like for me to say?” He wasn't careful with his tone. It didn't have any of the fondness that he felt for James. He said it flatly, like he didn't care about James in the slightest.

Sometimes, James got sad. Right now, he got angry. His expression hardened. "Fine. Be like that. You could've told me flat out that you didn't feel the same." He slammed his textbook shut and grabbed his bag. It looked like he was juggling all his items as he stormed out of the library.

Sirius sighed, putting his elbow on the table and leaning into his hand. He'd chosen the library this time with the specific hope that James wouldn't want to say anything when they were so far away from Gryffindor Tower and didn't have an easy way out.

He went to bed that night, keeping his head down and feeling guilty.

He knew that in the morning, James would be whistling like nothing happened, and he'd have to sit through the same exact lectures again. They'd been boring the first time he heard them. One repetition had been annoying, but he was convinced he was going to claw his eyes out before he managed to get out of this.

*

"It's a time loop," Sirius said. He didn't like going to Professor Dumbledore, but he was desperate. He'd skivved classes and spent all day in the library. He'd spent several days in the library. Over a week, possibly; it's not like he was keeping count, but it occurred to him too late that maybe he should've been trying to keep track. He'd been through every book about time travel, time loops, and time related curses. There was nothing useful. He had a better chance of getting answers by talking to Dumbledore than he did sneaking out and trying to find more books elsewhere.

"Curious," Dumbledore said. His brow had furrowed slightly, and he was looking at Sirius intently instead of with his usual casualness. "I know that you dabble in a certain amount of- ahem, experimental and high level magicks. Is there anything you've done that might have triggered this? The smallest footnote in an old ritual can have side effects."

Sirius shook his head without needing to think about it. After reliving the day for the third time, he had considered that option. Unfortunately, things had been quiet on the Marauders side of things. They hadn't done anything in the week-- or even month-- leading up to this stupid Tuesday that they hadn't done a dozen times before. "I'm sure that it's nothing I've done. I haven't done anything new leading up to this for weeks."

"It's... possible that someone else is reliving this day, and you were caught up in it."

He shook his head again. "Everyone else is the same. They only change if I do." He'd checked once, just to be sure. Of course, he couldn't remember everything he'd done the first day, but he'd tried his best, and it had been enough for him to be convinced that he was the only one that knew they were doing this more than once.

"I imagine you'll have to analyze your day then, Mister Black."

Sirius grimaced. He knew that it was his last name, but he hated being called that.

"Whatever the answer is, I think it'll come from your own actions. Not a spell or ritual."

"But this is a magical problem."

"Humans possess a kind of magic all unto themselves. Something that has nothing to do with wands or potions. We have the power to change, at will and deliberately."

Sirius blinked. He hadn't wanted to have a counseling session, he'd wanted a fix to this.

"I believe that when you find the change you need, the loop will be broken."

"Seriously? That's it?" Sirius asked, not bothering to be nice. It's nice like the Headmaster would remember this in the morning, after all. "That's your great advice? Change myself?"

"A simple answer, but not an easy one," he said, apparently unbothered.

*

"I love you," James said.

"So what? You're a sodding teenager. You'll fall out of love in a month."

James looked at him like he didn't recognise him. "Are you joking right now? Because if you are, it's not funny."

"And if I'm not?" Sirius asked, looking at him challengingly.

James didn't answer for a moment. He just looked at Sirius as sadness creeped into his features. "I don't know what I did to make you care so little about me."

"I-" Sirius startled, taken aback. "Of course I care."

"You're not acting like it. I don't want for you to lie. I'm not asking for you to claim that you return my feelings when you don't, but I expect for you to act like my friend, to act like the person I fell in love with." James paused, considering as a thought occurred to him. "Are you feeling alright? You've been acting off all day. I thought you already suspected how I felt, so I thought it would be best to come out with it, but I was wrong, wasn't I?"

It was kind. As kind as James always was to him, even when he didn't deserve it. If Sirius thought that he would wake up tomorrow to a new day instead of the same day, yet again, then he would latch onto this. He would tell James that he was sorry, but yes, that's what it was; he wasn't feeling well and he'd been on edge all day.

But this wasn't anything new, and they would do some horrid exchange tomorrow like nothing had changed-- because as far as James was concerned, there was absolutely nothing that had.

"I don't know what you want me to say, James," Sirius said, exhausted. If James would just tell him what he wanted to hear, then he could do that next time and hopefully it would break the loop. It was, after all, the only big event in this day. "Tell me what you want me to say, and I'll say it."

"I don't know either," James replied, but Sirius could tell it was a lie. He was heartbroken though, and it was Sirius's fault, so he didn't push.

He could work on it the next morning.

*

"Let's play hooky today," Sirius said, one hand on James's arm and trying to smile like he didn't have a care in the world.

James grinned back freely. "Sure."

It was nice to finally have a break from classes, but Sirius finally let himself relax around James again. Ever since that first 'I love you', Sirius had been tied up in knots worrying about it. He didn't want to hurt James's feelings, but by trying to push him away, all he'd done was make himself miserable.

They had fun that day. Sirius pressed a kiss to James's mouth before they tried to sneak back in.

"Sirius," James whispered, when they were still standing so close together they could feel the other's warmth. "If we're doing this-"

"I don't know if we are," Sirius said. He kept his tone gentle, but there was no denying the panic that shot through him. "You're my best mate, but I don't..." He didn't know if he wanted to date James. If he was willing to take the chance.

James swallowed thickly. "Right. You can think about it. I've got time."

James might not know it, but right now, they had nothing but time.

They got caught sneaking back in and got detention for a week for going off the grounds and skipping their classes. It didn't matter. The only one who would remember in the morning, was Sirius.

*

Sirius had done this enough times that he knew the look James got before confessing. Before James had a chance to say it this time, Sirius asked, "Do you ever get scared that you'll ruin something?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like us. Our friendship."

A beat. "I do. Sometimes. I think any risk would be worth it, in the end."

"Even if you don't get the answer you want?"

James frowned. "What're you getting at?"

Sirius didn't look up at him. He looked at his own hands, twirling a quill between his fingers absently. "I know how you feel about me."

Silence.

He still didn't look up at him. He wasn't sure he wanted to see his reaction. "And it terrifies me. The way you look at me sometimes... it's like I could bugger up everything under the sun and you'd still love me."

"That would be true even if we were mates and that's where my feelings stopped," James said quietly.

"And that doesn't scare you?"

"You feel the same for me."

That was- sod it, that was the truth. Sirius was beyond confused for how he felt for James ever since this time loop had started, but he cared about him. He loved him. He would do anything and everything for James if only he knew how. "I do," he admitted. "And it's terrifying."

"What about it scares you?"

"I don't know. I've never felt like this for anyone else. I feel like it could destroy both of us, and there would be nothing left."

"Rather bold of you to assume that we'd let that happen," James said. "What makes you think either of us would be willing to lose our friendship?"

"Fair enough," Sirius said, finally looking up so he could give James a smile.

James looked subdued, but he smiled back. 'How much you love me scares me' wasn't the response he'd been hoping for. Sirius knew that, even if he didn't know what James had actually wanted. Probably 'I love you too', but despite the countless times he'd confessed, Sirius had never been able to get him to admit that that's what he wanted to hear.

It's part of what confused him, and a big part of why it terrified him. To anyone else, what Sirius said just now would've been crushing. James looked a little sad and disappointed, but not heartbroken. 

He wished that he could keep this time. No recrimination, no hard feelings. James knew that Sirius knew how he felt, and he also knew that Sirius was beyond confused about his own feelings.

He sighed and went back to copying down the passage from the textbook. It wouldn't last till morning, but it gave him something to do while he kept James company.

Sirius woke up the next day, wondering how the hell he was supposed to get through this. He didn't know how to look James in the eye like everything was fine when he was so utterly lost.

He pushed his curtains open and rolled to his feet. He was so out of it that he didn't notice things were different until he ran into James in the loo. He frowned.

This wasn't right.

James was supposed to be happily whistling to himself and annoying Remus, not standing morosely in front of the mirror as he tiredly brushed his teeth. "Morning," James mumbled.

Sirius blinked.

"You okay?"

"Are you? I thought you'd be in a better mood."

James's brow creased. "Did we have a different conversation last night than the one I remember?"

Last night. Oh Merlin, he remembered. "What day is it?"

"Wednesday? You know, the day that comes after Tuesday?"

The relief Sirius felt was instantaneous. He didn't think about it, just wrapped his arms around James and rested his head against his shoulder. "Thank Merlin."

"Are you still asleep or summat?"

"More like I just woke up from a nightmare," Sirius muttered. A beat. "I don't know how you even know what love is. How do you know liking me a friend was different than fancying me?"

"I don't know," James said, which wasn't the most encouraging thing Sirius had ever heard. "I thought about it, and it seemed like it fit. Don't look at me like I have all the answers, Padfoot. I'm guessing most of the time, too."

"You always seemed so sure," Sirius said without really thinking about it. James had told him that he loved him a hundred different times, and not once had Sirius thought that he wasn't one hundred percent certain about it.

"What?"

Sirius shook his head.

That night, he asked James if he could kiss him instead of going for it without warning, and James said yes.

"So," James said, clearing his throat, "do I get an Acceptable?"

"Don't be stupid. You get an Outstanding."

"Even though you're not sure how you feel?" James asked.

"I know how I feel, I just... don't know if I'd call it in love or not. It might be more like halfway between in love and just loving you. How should I know?"

James only chuckled. "Well, whatever it is, it's good enough for me. If you're wanting to give this a try, that is."

"I am." He'd spent so many days trying to avoid James's confession, and all he'd needed to do was think about how he felt, not worry about what James wanted to hear him say. 

[casualmaraudering]

you'd better write a fluffy thing of Remus calming down and doing back and admitting that of course that's what he wants but he feels like he doesn't deserve it and then Sirius asks again and he says yes or so help me god...

@cunningambitousdetermined

whoops this is LATe but anyways, here it is at last, i reread that and felt guilty so here is a happier ending

sequel to this, but can be read as a standalone!

*

In retrospect, Remus agrees he could’ve handled things a little differently.

In his defence, though, it really hasn’t been a great week.

He didn’t get a refill of his anxiety medication because the pharmacy near his flat closed, and so he didn’t take any and turned into an overly emotional mess, and he got his period, so he’s been a fucking wreck. His electric kettle broke on Tuesday so he couldn’t make any tea in the morning. Then his cat got sick, and Remus nearly cried when she hadn’t eaten her breakfast for the second day in a row and then didn’t even protest when he took her to the vet. And, on top of all that, his neighbours had a party on Saturday, and Remus woke up on Sunday with a throbbing headache and the most unpleasant mood he’s been in in months.

And then Sirius came over, dragging him out to dinner - Remus just wanted to lay in bed. But Sirius insisted, and, as usual, if Sirius wanted something, he usually got it. 

The dinner was bearable, though added more to Remus’s irritation and headache - everything was noisy, smelled too strong, and he was tired. The end of the meal was a blessing, and Remus couldn’t even argue about Sirius paying (he was fairly sure it was his turn to pay for a date, but he just didn’t care that day). Sirius drove them to Remus’s flat, and Remus was ready to crawl into bed, maybe inviting Sirius with him if he was up for a cuddle.

He hadn’t exactly expected to be sitting on the couch with Sirius in front of him on one knee, a black box with a shiny ring inside of it in his hand.

And once he initially flinched, and knew that Sirius saw that he did, he panicked. 

It’s not that I don’t want to! It’s just- it’s a bit early. We don’t even live together, a-and we’re still figuring things out, I don’t think it’d be wise to get married now.  Hell, do we really need to get married? I think it’s a bit obnoxious and stupid, we don’t want that, I don’t think I want that.

He went a bit overboard, yes, but it was a shitty week and once he saw the hesitation on Sirius’s face, he started babbling whatever came to his mind.

It’s been on his mind constantly since then - and it’s been days now. Sirius hadn’t texted, nor called, but it’s not like Remus can blame him. He fucked up. He wouldn’t be surprised if Sirius chose to dump him now.

What a way to just flush six years down the drain.

On day 8 since then, Remus wakes up to Lily sitting at his kitchen table, sipping a cup of coffee.

“I’ve heard you broke someone’s heart recently.”

Remus groans, taking a seat opposite her, laying his head on the table. He loves her, but she’d always been incredibly straightforward, and that’s not what he needs right now.

“I fucked up, is that what you want to hear?”

“Not necessarily,” she says calmly, sipping her coffee. “You’ve no obligation to say yes when someone proposes to you. I was, however, under the impression that it’s what you want. You’ve dated him for, what, seven years now?”

“Seven in August, yeah,” Remus mumbles, burying his face into the corner of his elbow - he’s been wearing the same sweater for days now, and it’s starting to smell stale. “I mean. Would be, if I didn’t just do that.”

“Are you over, then?”

“I doubt he wants to date me after this.”

“Have you talked to him at all?”

“No.”

“Tell me what happened, then,” Lily puts her mug down and crosses her arms. “He’s really hurt and thinks you said no cause he’s not good husband material. And,” she smiles slightly at him. “I know you. And I know you were looking at wedding bands when we went to get my necklace fixed last month. So spill.”

Remus runs a hand through his hair, feeling his face heat up.

“I had an awful week and it just- bad timing, I guess,” he says defeatedly. “I know it’s a bad excuse but I was a mess and then in comes he and drops this huge thing on me and I just… I panicked. And once I didn’t say anything and I saw the fucking defeated look in his eyes I started talking, and that just made it worse.”

Lily sighs, but she has a smile on her face still.

“Typical you,” she replies, amused. “You could’ve told him you just didn’t expect it.”

“Well, when have I ever reacted well in a stressful situation?”

“Talk to him,” Lily ignores him. “You’re getting dressed, and we’re going over to his flat, where you’re going to tell him that you’ll marry him, buy a house with a picket fence and have a bunch of babies together. Simple as that.”

“What makes you think he even wants to see me?” Remus protests. “You didn’t see the look on his face, he was crushed-”

“And it’s why you need to fix it right now. Come on. Shoes on, I’m taking you to his place.”

*

When Sirius opens the door, Remus feels like his heart will drum out of his chest and drop right in front of his feet. Sirius doesn’t shut the door on him when he sees him, but neither of them say anything for a touch too long, to the point Remus starts feeling unbelievably awkward.

“Uhm,” Sirius starts, his cheeks already red, dropping his gaze to the floor. “Hi.” 

He steps to the side, letting Remus in. He notices Sirius is still in the clothes he usually sleeps in, which is rather odd - usually he’d be out of bed long ago. 

“So, what do you-”

“I panicked,” Remus says quickly, before his anxiety can talk him out of it. “I had the worst week ever, Sugar got sick, my stomach was cramping, I was out of my meds, I was tired and my head was hurting and I just wanted to go to sleep but I didn’t want to be rude so I went to that restaurant with you and then I was so exhausted but then you- and I-I… I didn’t know what to do,” Remus breathes out, blinking rapidly and hoping he won’t cry. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to leave you hanging or say anything I’ve said, I-I just… it was the worst possible timing in the world and I don’t do well with things springing on me unexpectedly. I don’t know what you want to do now, you can break up with me cause I hurt you in like the most possible way but that’s honestly what-”

He stops talking as Sirius pulls him into his arms, crushing him into a hug. Remus blinks, confused at first, but then finds his head resting on Sirius’s shoulder - he’s missed that so damn much.

“You should’ve said,” Sirius says weakly - Remus thinks he hears a hint of tears in his voice, but he can’t be sure. 

“I panicked,” Remus mumbles. “And by the time I started rambling, I couldn’t stop and didn’t even know what I was saying.”

“So, uhm- if I- if I asked-”

“Yes,” he immediately replies, pulling away so he can look at Sirius’s face.  “Sirius Black, you’re the love of my goddamn life and I would love to marry you. As long as you don’t mind me being, well… me.”

“You being you is the best part,” Sirius whispers - and he is crying, now. “Can I kiss you?”

“You don’t have to ask.”

“I just want to make sure,” he smiles. “Last time I asked something I was sure you’d say yes to, you said no, so I have to double check.”

“Okay, now I might say no, you ass.”

Sirius laughs, and nuzzles their noses together, pressing his lips to Remus’s for a short moment. 

“We’re telling everyone that we got engaged in a restaurant, though,” Sirius tells him. “It was extremely romantic, you said yes and cried.”

“Only if you also cried. And we can always do that,” Remus glances at the clock he knows is on Sirius’s hallway wall. “Less of a surprise this time, so I won’t panic. We might even get a free dessert. And you can make that cute speech again.”

Sirius’s bites his lip, his cheeks turning a pinkish shade.

“If you promise me you’ll say yes this time.”

Remus smiles, and kisses Sirius again.

“Cross my heart.”

[acciofanfics]

Tormented (Sirius Black x Reader) Part Nine

Summary: (Y/N) leaves home right out of Hogwarts due to circumstances Sirius could definitely relate to. When he opens his home to her, things don’t go exactly as planned.

Pairing: Post Azkaban Sirius Black x FemReader

Warnings: I’m struggling with whether this is NSFW or not?? Like sexual themes for sure and maybe language but not gonna lie I kinda lost steam writing the smut part.

A/N: Sooo I wanted this to be smutty and I started but I kinda lost steam writing it... I’ve been struggling with writing smut for a bit. But I am trying bear with me! I just wanted to end it and get it up and not be so MIA. Long rant over! Enjoy! -S

———————————————————————

It was almost comical how quickly something good be ruined. It could take days, weeks, months, or even years to build and poof. One little match and a whole forest could be nothing but a pile of ash. Sirius supposed this wasn’t exactly the same thing, but he was worried it had potential. It was probably his job to be the one to break the ice, since he was the one to freeze the conversation, “About earlier...”

“You didn’t mean it?” (Y/N) interrupted him and Sirius wasn’t sure if she sounded hopeful or maybe if she was trying to give him an out. Maybe he should take it...

“I wasn’t going to say that.” Sirius wasn’t sure if he was making a mistake or not. However he doubted they could go back to pretending to be oblivious anymore.

“So you meant it?” (Y/N) wasn’t sure what got into her. Perhaps it was all the scenarios she played in her head, but she couldn’t wait anymore. She needed him to be straight with her. “If you did mean it, I’m worried you only think that because you’re not really around anyone else.”

“You can’t honestly think that?” Sirius was a little shocked. She always seemed so sure of herself. Of course he always assumed that everyone had their own insecurities, it was only logical. Truthfully, if he was twelve years younger he’d understand. He never really had a reputation for being a long term type of guy... he couldn’t recall sharing too much of that with her though. He was particularly proud of it now that he thought himself to be quite a bit different. “I don’t fancy being stuck in here, and it’s never been my intention of ignoring Dumbledore’s wishes, but I don’t plan on being here forever.”

“That doesn’t really answer my question, does it?”

“I meant it.” Sirius tried to mentally prepare himself for what would come next. Maybe it’d be fine? Surely if she was worried about it that meant she felt something? Or maybe she was trying to talk him down off a ledge and he’d just leapt to his death regardless of any and every warning she gave him.

(Y/N) had gotten her answer. The next step would probably be to try and say something in return. “I love you too... I’m sorry I’m not trying to be so- You really caught me off guard earlier and I’ve been planning what to say when you told me you didn’t mean it-“

Sirius drew closer to her, a smile growing on his face as she her rambling came to a halt. “I do apologize for putting you on the spot. I promise you it wasn’t my intention.”

(Y/N) was glad that some of the normality was returning. She was jealous that he seemed to have a much easier time regaining him composure and cutting through tension that she did, but she wouldn’t dwell too much on it since she was definitely reaping the benefits at the moment. “It’s okay... you could make it up to me?”

Sirius almost wanted to laugh. It was almost comical how quickly somethings could be fixed. Minutes ago he thought he had broken something that had been one of the only bright things in his world full of darkness. Now, the girl who’d shown him a bit of doubt was back to her normal confident self; feigning innocence and drawing him in like a moth to a flame. Normally he’d like to mess with her, ask her what she wanted from him, but he didn’t know if he had the willpower to do so today.

She felt her eyelids get heavier and the air thicken as Sirius’ mouth drew closer and closer to hers. His lips were soft against hers, almost teasing in how gentle the kiss was, but it didn’t take long for the tempo to change. Their lips moved quickly against each other, almost as if they could anticipate each other’s movements.

Sirius’ hands found her hips. His fingers dug gently into her as he carefully guided her to the dining room table. They only broke away when the back of (Y/N)’s legs hit the wood and she gracefully toppled onto it. A oomph and a giggle fell from her swollen lips as she adjusted herself to a comfortable position sitting on the tabletop. “Sorry.”

Sirius smiled against her lips, feeling a bit guilty about her tumble. They both seemed to forget about it whenever Sirius found his place between her legs. Sirius’ fingers tangled in her hair and he tugged just enough to pull her close to him again, closing the gap between them. (Y/N)’s hands fumbled with the buttons on his shirt, haphazardly undoing them and exploring the newly exposed skin. They hadn’t been going at it for even a five minutes and she was ready to undress him. Honestly, she’d never been a patient person anyways and there was something about hearing that he loved her that made her want him even more.

He seemed to concur that they were moving to slow, because as soon as she’d finished he eagerly shed the article of clothing. (Y/N) shivered against him when his fingertips skimmed across her skin after snaking their way under her shirt. It was funny how his fingers were cold yet somehow felt like a torch as they moved across her sides and back, stopping only when he reached the closure of her bra which he skillfully snapped open leaving the garment hanging loosely enough for hands to easily slip under. Sirius’ lips slipped down to her ear, “I honestly am hopelessly in love with you.”

(Y/N) let out a content moan, partially due to his words and partially because his fingers were starting to tease her breasts under her bra. She knew she was in for quite the night with the man she loved and that was utter bliss in that moment.

Tag List: @iamabeautifulperson18 @susceptible-but-siriusexual @acciovisio @rexorangecouny @kissyourdemons @snapeshoe69 @siriuslypadfootmc @f-reka @jxsminedrxgon @scrunchinn @siriusblacksworld @criminalyetminimal @samnblack @harrypotter289 @levylovegood

[heyitssmiller]

Clandestine: Chapter Three

The first mission doesn’t exactly go as planned. Also, Logan has a thing for glasses, apparently.

@lumosinlove Thank you for letting me run away with your characters! <3

Again, @donttouchmycarrots is my hero and the best proofreader ever! This fic wouldn’t be what it is without her.

Clandestine Masterlist

.

The bank was quiet, save for the soft murmurings of tellers and customers. Sunlight filtered through the windows of the storefront, light and hazy. The office plant by the front door was growing way too big for its pot. There were a few people waiting in line, absently scrolling through their phones. Others were sitting in the waiting area, mindlessly taking in their surroundings. It was calm, peaceful.

Or it was, until a redhead came sprinting out of the men’s restroom, screaming “Fire!” at the top of his lungs.

The bank then descended into madness.

A man watched from the driver’s seat of his car as people frantically streamed out of the building and onto the sidewalk. He sighed, taking a second to rest his forehead against the steering wheel. “Damnit, O’Hara. This wasn’t part of the plan.”

29 Hours Earlier

“Good morning, cubs!”

“Fuck you, Black.” Logan muttered into his cup of coffee. “It’s too early to be that excited.”

Leo smiled a little and set a paper bag on the table. Logan stared at it. Where had it come from? He hadn’t seen Leo carrying it into the briefing room, but it was too big to stuff into his pockets. He didn’t have a bag or anything – the only thing he was carrying with him was a notebook and a pen. How did he manage to smuggle it in?

Logan was so confused, and it was still too early.

“I brought muffins.” Leo explained, opening the bag and handing one to Finn. “They’re cinnamon swirl.”

“Nut, did you make these?” Finn asked, removing the wrapper and taking a big bite. Leo shrugged.

“I like to cook.”

Black looked up at him in awe. “These are amazing.” He cradled the muffin in his hand like it was something precious.

“I can give you the recipe, if you want.”

Logan grabbed a muffin, looking up quickly at Remus’ snort. “He can’t cook.”

“Neither can you.” Sirius shot back, a little more hostile than his usual teasing manner. Logan glanced back and forth between the pair, tearing off a piece of muffin and popping it into his mouth. Fuck, that was good.

His partners had clearly picked up on the tension, too, but neither of them brought it up. Leo twirled his pen around in his hand, eyes moving from the pair to Finn. He smiled as the redhead enthusiastically grabbed another muffin. Logan snapped his gaze back to Sirius. “Can we get started, please?” He asked pointedly. “If you make me get up this early, we’d better be doing something productive.”

Finn laughed at him, nose scrunching. “Are you always this grumpy in the morning?”

Green eyes rimmed with dark, dark lashes glared back at him. Logan didn’t say a word but took a long sip of coffee instead, refusing to break eye contact. Finn let himself stare a little longer than he probably should have. He wasn’t lying when he told Logan he was a sucker for green eyes.

Sirius finally broke the tension-filled staring competition between himself and Loops and looked down at his files. Remus started the projector without a word, only speaking up when he was ready to begin his presentation. “We’re starting you three off with the easiest flash drives to retrieve – the two in the banks.”

He moved to a picture of the layout of one of the banks, pointing at a small room tucked away in a corner of the building. “So the safe is back here in this room. You can’t get back there without permission or an escort, which makes it a little trickier. The security system is also very high-grade, so I don’t think trying to break in after hours is our best bet here. There’s too many little things we might miss.

“The plan is to go undercover. Leo and Finn, you’ll be infiltrating this bank. Logan, you’ll be lookout. Leo, you’re going to pretend to be a safe specialist. Tell them the make and model of the safe Riddle uses is faulty and the company sent you to see if this one needs to be replaced. I don’t really care what you say, just make it believable.”

“What kind of safe is it?” Leo asked.

Sirius looked down at his notes. “It’s a… Tigerking Digital Security safe. Does that mean anything to you?”

Leo grinned. “Makes my job a hell of a lot easier. They’ve got a weak spot.”

“What am I doing during all of this?” Finn asked through a mouthful of muffin, crumbs stuck to his mouth. He swiped at them with his tongue before speaking again, “Distraction?”

“Yeah. It’ll have to be big – big enough to get Leo alone with that safe. How long do you think it’ll take to crack, Knut?”

He shrugged. “Ten minutes, tops. It’s got this small hole at the back where bolts are fed through. I can get a stiff wire through that hole and hit the reset button. Then I can reset the code of the safe and open it without leaving a trace.”

Finn smiled, mischief in his eyes. “I think I can manage a ten-minute distraction.”

That… that didn’t sound good.

Finn took one look at Logan’s fearful face and laughed. “Relax, it’s nothing too dramatic. I’ll probably just ask for whoever takes Leo back to look at the safe and then throw a fit when they say he’s not available. And then I’ll drag out our conversation to give our dear Nut enough time. Simple.”

“That… actually works.”

Finn scoffed, giving Remus a look. “Why do you sound so surprised?”

“Because you’re Finn O’Hara.”

Finn thought about it for a second, then shrugged. “That’s fair.”

“Nut, when you open the safe you need to replace the real flash drive with this decoy.” Sirius said, holding up a blue flash drive. “This op might take weeks or months – if Riddle comes to check on this drive, he needs to see one instead of an empty safe. Now, if he actually checks the information on the flash drives… well, we’re screwed. Hopefully it won’t come to that. He doesn’t usually check the flash drives unless absolutely necessary – it’s too much of a hassle.”

“And I’ll loop the security camera footage when you get there, so there won’t be any evidence of you tampering with the safe.” Remus said. “Get in, get out. Not too hard, right? And we’ll both be with you every step of the way. You’ll have microphones and earpieces so that we can all communicate.”

Finn couldn’t tell if the bouncing of Leo’s leg was his normal restlessness or nerves. His face was a mask of calm that revealed nothing. For someone who didn’t have any previous experience in espionage or conning people, he sure was good at hiding how he was feeling.

Finn handed him another muffin anyways.

The dimpled smile he got in return was nothing but genuine.

***

Remus sat down on his couch with his dinner, sighing to himself as he stretched out his back. It had been a long day, but he finally felt ready for tomorrow. Their plan was solid, the cubs were as ready as they were ever going to be, he had his video loop for the security camera in the safe room, the rest of his tech had been checked over and deemed ready to go. There wasn’t much else he could do besides get a good night’s sleep if he could.

That would be easier said than done, though.

Sirius chose that moment to throw open the door and close it loudly behind him. Remus glared at him. “Is that really necessary?” He asked, but didn’t add anything else on as Sirius slammed down a stack of hand-written pages onto Remus’ coffee table. 

“You want me to open up? Fine. There’s all you need to know about me.”

Remus looked down at the pages and instantly felt guilty. How long had he been working on this? “You didn’t have to-”

“You said you couldn’t trust me.” Sirius interrupted coolly. “I can’t get my brother to safety if you guys don’t trust me.”

It appeared that his brother was his sole motivation. For all of this. Remus could understand that. He’d stop at nothing if the safety of his own brother was put into question.

“Yeah, but you didn’t have to do this.” Remus looked up at him, at the stiff set to his shoulders, the detached look in his eyes. He went too far the last time they’d talked about this, hadn’t he? “Look, we got along for over a week when you first got here. I think we can do that again, right?”

At Sirius’ skeptical face, he sighed. “This is on me just as much as you. I… I don’t trust easily.” He had to laugh at that massive understatement. “Perks of being a spy. But I feel like we can manage learning to trust each other the old-fashioned way.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow. “And what’s that?”

“Getting totally, outrageously drunk and sharing all our secrets.”

Sirius’ straight face only lasted for about a second before he busted out laughing. “You go from wanting my entire life story to wanting to get drunk together?”

“It’s a failproof way to gain someone’s trust.” Remus said solemnly, cracking a smile when Sirius laughed again, incredulous. “But not tonight. We’ve got a big day tomorrow.”

“This Friday, then?”

He couldn’t help but notice the hopeful look on Sirius’ face. Had he ever done this with someone before? Did he have any friends besides his brother previously? He put up this excitable, outgoing façade, but Remus honestly had no idea what lay underneath. He nodded decisively. “This Friday.”

Sirius hesitated, then spoke again. “Do you think they’re ready?”

“I think so. And we’ll be there if something goes wrong.” Remus met his eyes, trying to instill confidence into the ex-Snake. “No matter what happens, we’re going to do our best to get your brother out safely.”

“And what if that’s not enough?” Sirius asked, eyes haunted.

That was exactly why Remus hadn’t made any strict promises. There was no way to guarantee that they would get Regulus back. If Remus was in Sirius’ shoes, if this this was Jules instead of Regulus, what would Remus most want to hear?

“We’re going to do everything we can, I promise.” He said, soft but firm. “I know that’s not enough, but it’s the best we can do as of right now.”

Sirius stared back, then nodded. “Thank you.” He looked down at Remus’ food. “What’s for dinner? I’m starving.”

Remus laughed, shoving him away. “Get your own, you leech. This is mine.”

“Leech?” Sirius demanded, dramatizing his offence. “I can’t believe you called me a leech. You were the one who offered to house me, after all.”

That was true. Even if he hated to admit it, Remus was lonely. He lived in this apartment all by himself, worked mostly on his own, and his family lived miles and miles away. And being a spy didn’t exactly make it easy to find friends. He was distrusting and cautious by nature, especially after... well. After he left fieldwork and transitioned to a desk job.

He didn’t know why he’d offered to let Sirius stay, honestly. He just got this gut feeling that it was the right thing to do.

And Remus Lupin always trusted his gut.

“Worst decision I’ve ever made.” He quipped, laughing as Sirius threw a pillow at him. Sirius was a horrible roommate. He left dishes in the sink, beard trimmings on the bathroom counter, and his shoes haphazardly strewn about the living room.

But he always had hot water on the stovetop in the mornings when Remus woke up, always let him pick what they watched on tv at nights, and always replaced anything he had used up without being asked. And, if Remus was being completely honest with himself, soft gray eyes paired with an even softer smile weren’t exactly a terrible thing to wake up to.

So far, this whole roommate business wasn’t too bad.

***

Logan hated nothing more than being lookout.

He watched on as Finn and Leo geared up, testing their mics and earpieces and making adjustments accordingly. He was supposed to be watching the entrance to make sure no Snakes entered the building. They were doing the first bank heist while Logan was stuck here, in the car parked on the street, where he couldn’t see what was going on or if his partners were in trouble.

Their first mission, and he was stuck outside.

Ugh.

“You ready for this?” Finn asked Leo as he discreetly tucked a wire under his collar and out of sight. Leo had his eyes trained on the building across from them, wrapped in his coat and a thick scarf, fingers drumming out a staccato beat on his thigh. He didn’t seem to have heard Finn.

“Nut?”

Leo swiveled his head to look back at them. “Hmm?”

“You ok?” Logan asked, watching the blond’s face for signs of nervousness or stress. But his gaze was steady, determined. For someone on their first mission, he was remarkably calm. Either that or a much better actor than Logan had given him credit for. But then his expression flickered and a shadow of doubt crept in.

“I’m fine.” He said, and Logan couldn’t tell if he was trying to convince them or himself. He reached out and gave the blond’s shoulder a squeeze, letting his hand linger before trailing it down his arm and pulling away.

“You’re fine.” Logan reassured with a smile and watched the resolve build back up in Leo’s eyes, causing the knot in Logan’s chest to ease up a little.

That was better.

Finn looked at him for a second, then took his glasses off. “Here, put these on. I feel like your cover story requires glasses.” He gently eased them onto the other boy’s face. Leo blinked rapidly, then squinted and widened his eyes to adjust to the lenses.

“Jesus, what prescription is this?”

“It’s not that bad.” Finn said, ruffling Leo’s hair in retaliation. He took a step back to see the finished product and whistled lowly. “Damn, maybe we should take those off again. We’re supposed to be unmemorable when we’re undercover. No one will be able to take their eyes off you with those on.”

Logan had to agree there. Soft blue eyes blinked back at them from behind tortoiseshell frames, looking larger than they normally did. Leo buried his nose in his scarf in an attempt to hide the blush caused by Finn’s flirtatious words.

The sight did strange things to Logan’s stomach.

Remus’ voice reached them through their com link, startling all three of them. “You guys ready to go?”

Leo took a deep, steadying breath. “Let’s do this.” He looked back at Logan, eyes fierce – a stark contrast to the soft look of only a few seconds ago. Logan sucked in a breath of his own. This kid sure was something.

“See you in a bit.”

“See you in a bit.” Logan echoed, grabbing the car keys out of his pocket and letting his lips twitch up into a smile at Finn’s cheery salute. He leaned against the car door and watched the pair make their way around the corner and towards the bank without glancing back.

He got back into the car and moved it around the same corner before putting it in park. His eyes shifted between the street in front of him and his rearview mirror, a book in his lap to keep from raising suspicions, and settled in to worry and wait.

***

Leo shoved his hands in his pockets to keep from fidgeting and made his way to the front desk. Ignoring his pounding heart as best he could, he locked eyes with the teller and smiled. “Hi there. Is your manager here?” He asked, dragging his accent out slow and sweet like molasses. “I’ve got a few questions about your safes.”

She smiled back. “Sure thing. I’ll go grab him.” Leo thanked her as she left, looking around while he waited and trying his hardest not to squint too much in Finn’s glasses. 

“Nut, between the accent and the glasses - plus your looks in general - I think that girl is half in love with you already.” Sirius’ voice teased, causing Leo to flinch slightly. He needed to get used to hearing the voices of people he couldn’t see during these missions.

“She is not.” He muttered back as he pretended to rub his nose, covering his mouth as he spoke so that no one else could see it. His hand absentmindedly played with the old, frayed bracelet on his wrist.

“You can do better, Nut.” Logan chimed in, voice a little gruff.

“How do you know?” Sirius asked. “You can’t even see her.”

“I’m using my imagination.”

Sirius barked out a laugh while Remus just sighed and requested that they all stay focused. Leo glanced around at the lobby again. Finn was standing in line behind him, looking at something on his phone. He forced himself not to look at his partner too long and kept scanning the rest of the lobby. It seemed to be a pretty quiet day - there weren’t too many people inside. A few people were seated in the waiting area and some were waiting in line behind Finn. Leo saw the teller and a short, balding man who must have been the bank manager making their way back towards him.

Leo stuck his hand out when they reached him, which the manager shook with a fake smile on his face.

“Hi, how are you doing?” Leo asked, withdrawing his hand. “I’m Fred Decker with Tigerking Digital Security. I have on record that you’re currently using one of our safes, is that correct?”

“Fred?” Sirius’ voice asked incredulously. “Of all the aliases you could use, you choose Fred? Nut, you should be ashamed of yourself.”

Remus hissed at him to shut up. Leo ignored it.

“Yes, that’s right.” The manager said, a bit stiff. “What’s this about?”

“There’s a recall on a few of our safes. I was wondering if I could take a look at yours and see if it needs to be replaced. Free of charge, of course. This is an error on our part, and we want to do all we can to fix it.”

The manager hesitated, then nodded. “This way.”

Leo followed the man through a set of doors into a hallway, spotting Finn out of the corner of his eye as he approached the front desk and sent Leo a quick wink. That, more than anything, calmed Leo’s nerves. If Finn was acting like this was just run-of-the-mill and not a big deal, then they must’ve been doing something right. The door closed behind Leo, blocking his vision of the lobby. He took a fortifying breath and followed the manager into the safe room, secluded from the rest of the bank.

“Here we are,” The manager said, then pointed to a safe wedged into the corner of the room. “And there’s your safe.”

“The camera in the safe room is already on a loop, Leo. You’re all set.” Remus’ voice said, steady and calm. Leo looked the safe over, stalling as he waited for Finn’s distraction.

“Fuck,” he heard through his earpiece. “Leo, you’re going to have to hang in there for a few more seconds. The planned distraction didn’t work.”

Leo swallowed, looking back up at the manager. “So there’s these holes in the back, see?” He said, figuring a sure-fire way for him to stall was to talk about the safe. He could keep up a conversation like this for hours. “They’re used to bolt the safes into the wall. A few of our older models have larger holes.”

He grabbed the stiff coil of wire out of his pocket. “Some thieves have learned that you can get to the reset button in these older models if you use a tough wire like this and insert it through one of the holes. Basically all I want to do today is see if a thief could potentially do that with this safe. Is that all right with you?”

“Yes, of course! If there’s a problem, our client would want that fixed immediately.”

“I’m sure they would.” Leo said absentmindedly as he started fiddling with the wire for as long as he possibly could. He straightened it out from it’s coil, looked down it’s length, and then pretended to straighten some kinks out.

Don’t panic don’t panic don’t panic-

Remus’ voice was a little more tense now. “Finn, where’s that distraction?”

Finn, who was in the men’s bathroom grabbing handful after handful of paper towels and shoving them into a trash can, grumbled, “I’m working on it, ok? Sirius was right - that teller definitely has a type, and it sure as hell isn’t me. I had to improvise.”

“What does that mean?” Logan asked warily. Finn could practically see him gripping the steering wheel in a white-knuckled grip as he forced himself to stay put. “What are you doing?”

Finn grabbed the bottle of hand sanitizer on the bathroom sink and took the top off, dumping the contents into the trash can as well. He grabbed the lighter in his pocket (he liked to be prepared, thank you very much) and produced a small flame.

“Something stupid.”

He lowered the lighter to the trashcan and prepared to run.

Leo could hear the shouting from Finn’s distraction all the way back in the safe room. He looked up at the manager, pretending to be confused. “What’s going on?”

“I’m not sure.” The manager frowned, shifting from foot to foot nervously as he looked towards the commotion. “I’m going to check it out. I’ll be right back, ok?”

Leo waved him off with a reassuring smile. “I’ll be right here.” He messed around with the safe until the door closed, then hissed, “Finn, what the hell is going on out there?” He moved Finn’s glasses to perch on top of his head and shoved the wire through one hole in the back of the safe. He grabbed his flashlight to look through the hole on the other side, searching for a small red button.

“I might’ve started a fire in the men’s restroom.”

“You what?” Leo demanded, finally finding the reset button and moving the wire steadily closer to it. “You do realize that does the exact opposite of give me more time, right?” Sure enough, the fire alarm sounded, loud and clear.

“Fuck me.” Leo muttered as he jabbed the reset button with the wire. Someone - Leo thought it might be Finn, but he wasn’t sure - muttered something too soft and muffled to be picked up by their mic. Leo didn’t have the time to question it. The safe door opened with a soft click. He quickly switched the flash drive with the replica and closed the door again. The wire got recoiled and shoved back into his pocket, Finn’s glasses returned to resting on his nose. He climbed to his feet and made his way towards the lobby at a quick pace. “I’ve got it.”

“Nice work, Nut.” He heard Logan say, and couldn’t repress the jittery feeling he always got after a successful job. He exited the bank, looking around for the manager. He seemed busy as he talked to his employees in an attempt to get the situation under control. He caught Leo’s eyes and stepped towards him. “Mr. Decker! I was looking for you.”

Leo only just remembered to over-exaggerate his accent. “I heard the alarm and high-tailed it out here. Was it a prank?”

“No,” He said after a beat of hesitation, “Someone actually started a fire in the men’s bathroom. The fire department is on its way. Hopefully it won’t take too long and you can get back to looking at that safe.”

“No need, I already finished. The holes were too small for the wire, so y’all should be fine. Anything thinner than the wire I used will be too flimsy to press that reset button.” Leo glanced down at his watch. “I do have six more banks to visit today, though, so I’m afraid this is where I leave you. Thank you for being so cooperative.” He held out his hand for the manager to shake again and gave one last smile before walking back down the street towards their designated rendezvous, trying to look casual and not like he was running away from the scene of a theft.

Sure enough, a non-descript gray car was waiting for him, right where it was supposed to be. Without a word, he climbed into the back and sprawled across all three seats, throwing an arm over his eyes as Logan put the car into drive.

The three of them were silent for a few seconds before Leo cracked a smile and laughed. “The one thing – the one thing that could get me kicked out of that safe room too fast, and that’s what you decided would make a perfect distraction?”

Finn looked back at the back seat with a grin, which softened when he laid eyes on the blond. His hair shone in the late-morning sunlight, highlighting a streak of gray at his temple. Those long legs of his took up most of the back row, and even then he still had to bend his knees to fit all the way. His eyes were blocked by his arm, but Finn could’ve seen those dimples via satellite image from space. 

“Hey, cut me some slack. I was making it up as I went.” This sent Leo into another fit of laughter, causing Finn’s smile to broaden.

“Besides,” Logan added, “You’re quick with your hands. You didn’t need all ten minutes, you barely needed three.”

Leo shrugged, which looked really strange in his current position on his back. “Got lucky. Found that reset button faster than I usually do.” He adjusted Finn’s glasses, which were still resting on his nose. “Maybe I need glasses, too.”

“Shut up. Those glasses are a statement piece, thank you very much.”

Logan snorted, watching Leo’s hand reach over the center console to return the glasses to their rightful owner. “Maybe that’s why you’re a terrible marksman, O’Hara. When’s the last time you got that prescription checked?”

Finn gasped in offense. Logan glanced over briefly and noticed the tips of his ears getting red. Cute.

“How dare you! I am not a terrible marksman!”

“That’s not what your file says.”

“What?”

“The evidence doesn’t lie.” Logan said, struggling to bite back his grin. Finn was just so fun to tease.

“Screw debriefing. When we get back to the office, we’re going to the shooting range.” Finn crossed his arms over his chest sulkily. “Terrible marksman. How dare they. Nutter Butter, back me up here.”

Leo blinked at the new nickname, but he couldn’t say he minded it too much. Especially when Finn said it like that, with such unfiltered affection. He watched the redhead turn around in his seat to look at him with big Bambi eyes, only then remembering that he was looking for an answer from Leo.

He put on a show of thinking about it, then shrugged. “I dunno, Finn. The evidence doesn’t lie.”

“Et tu, Brute?” Finn whined. “Betrayed by both of my partners. Unbelievable.”

Leo wished there was another word for partner. Maybe he should refer to them as just coworkers now. The term partner was giving him ideas. 

Ideas he couldn’t afford to be having for the first and quite possibly the biggest op of his life.

“Also, you’re one to talk!” Leo looked back up at Finn when he realized he was talking to him. “Have you ever shot a gun before, rookie?” He stopped suddenly, then grinned broadly. “Oh man, please tell me you’ve shot a gator when you were back in Louisiana. That’s so badass.”

Leo arched an eyebrow.

“Just because there’s horror stories about gators doesn’t mean they deserve to be shot.” Logan said, switching his turn signal on and waiting for the left turn light to change from red to green. “They’re a big part of the ecosystem.”

“And they kill people.”

“Oh come on, when’s the last time you heard of someone being killed by a gator?”

“Literally last week, down in Florida.”

“Well, that’s Florida. Crazy stuff like that happens in Florida all the time.”

“Did you hear about that guy from Florida who made a beer run while holding a gator?”

Logan chuckled, glancing over at his partner in disbelief. “What?”

“You heard me! Apparently he walked in, looked around and asked ‘Y’all ain’t out of beer, are you?’ But then the story gets weirder!”

Leo just sat in the backseat and laughed at Finn’s dramatic retelling of Florida news as building after building flashed by outside their windows, feeling lighter than air. His first mission was a success. He grabbed the small, innocuous flash drive out of his pocket, twirling it in his hand. One down, six more to go. If all missions were like this, taking down the Snakes wouldn’t be so bad.

He should’ve knocked on wood after having that thought.