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buckslafdhoodie · 3 months

Text

curtain’s closed (i’m watching you this time), a bucktommy fic!

length: 5,511 words

language: english

tags: fluff, mild hurt/comfort, exhausted! buck, soft buck, soft tommy, sleepy cuddles, date night, domestic vibes, buck-centric narrative, big spoon! tommy, little spoon! buck

site: ao3 (linked here!)

summary:

"That's not the job, Evan," Tommy turned his head, pressing his lips to the crown of Buck's head.

"That's all you, sweetheart." Tommy murmured into his hair and Buck? Buck was so gone for this man that it was a bit ridiculous. As he lay there, his face smushed against his gorgeous pilot boyfriend's neck, drawing lazy circles on Tommy's shoulder and grinning like a fool, Buck realized he could see a future here. Not a few weeks or months, but years of companionship, of kindness, of stories swapped and gentle embraces, inside jokes and shared closets and--

Oh, he'd done it now. Buck was well aware there was no backpedaling now that his mind had caught up with something he had subconsciously been tiptoeing around since the fateful cat-5 mouth static.

“B’careful there, Tommy… You keep saying stuff like that and I’ll start to think you like me.”

(or, Tommy comes over after a hard shift for Buck and has to herd his overworked boyfriend to bed. Buck gets to be the little spoon, Tommy gets to give his boyfriend the praise he desperately needs, and Buck is still tormented by his lack of a couch and his love of clipboards, somehow)

inspired by @breadandjamsforfrances’s post about buck being the little spoon for the first time and @buckevantommy’s request for some evan little spoon/human blanket fics!

Buck wasn’t nervous. He wasn’t! It wouldn’t be the first time that Tommy was in his apartment, between their first kiss and the subsequent dinner dates that he had hosted over the past month or so.

Okay, so maybe it was the first time that Tommy had texted Buck before the 118’s shift was even over asking to see him. It had been a hard shift, starting with a call to an electrical fire at a daycare that had Buck scouring the building for an unaccounted-for child until Bobby had to physically wrest him from the crumbling structure and only getting more hectic and taxing as the hours passed.

So it goes without saying that seeing the notification from his boyfriend (god, would that ever get old?) had been a welcome sight, even if the unexplained spontaneity was a bit unnerving. It certainly had not in any way triggered an afternoon of methodically going from one corner to the other of the loft, cleaning every speck of dust in sight, throwing his bedding in the wash, and even running to the store to pick up some beer and then promptly panicking, calling Eddie when the wall of bottles and cans towering over him all started to blur together.

Buck’s phone buzzed against the freshly cleaned counter. Peering over at it from his place in front of the sink, the man’s eyebrows furrowed a little bit when his eyes caught on Eddie’s name instead of Tommy’s, seeing as it was nearly seven and Tommy was not one to be late (barring the occasional massive forest fire, of course).

[18:50] tubbs (eddie): I hope he gets there before Clipboard Buck does

Buck audibly groaned, rolling his eyes fondly at the device as he finished drying the glass in his hand and set it on the drying rack before scooping up his phone and responding.

[18:50] crockett (buck): was the capitalization necessary???

[18:50] tubbs (eddie): Yes.

[18:51] crockett (buck): >:(

[18:51] crockett (buck): also, rude!!!!

[18:51] crockett (buck): your hatred towards my poor clipboard is cruel!

[18:52] tubbs (eddie): I don’t know what to tell you Buck!!!

[18:53] tubbs (eddie): Even the strongest of men cannot handle Clipboard Buck!

The fact that Buck could pinpoint the exact exasperated look on his best friend’s face in his mind was a bit concerning, honestly. In the relative quiet of his flat, though, surrounded by the whirring of fan blades and the quiet buzz of his appliances, the man couldn’t find it within himself to get self-conscious at the idea of caring that much about a friend like he would have up until joining the 118.

[18:54] crockett (buck): don’t u worry, the clipboard is safely stored away

[18:54] crockett (buck): it served its purpose well

[18:54] tubbs (eddie): I’m not even gonna ask.

Then, there was a lull in the texts. In place of the flow of banter, Buck’s mind went into overdrive once again, the doubts creeping into his brain like lichen in the cracks of a lone forest stone. The sound of his thumbs hitting the screen of his phone as he typed and deleted about a dozen different messages was oddly soothing. About halfway into a rambling and probably ill-advised text about Tommy’s fashion choices, Buck’s phone buzzed yet again.

[18:56] tubbs (eddie): Relax, man.

[18:56] tubbs (eddie): I think your typing bubble is going to seize if you keep doing whatever it is that you’re doing over there.

Buck snorted, feeling a bit of the tension coiling in his shoulders fall away. Still, the jittery, nervous energy was making itself heard, loud and clear, through his thumb’s jerky movements as he forced himself to type an actual response to Eddie and hit send like it was a life-or-death situation.

[18:57] crockett (buck): whatifhesbreakingupwithme?????

[18:57] tubbs (eddie): He isn’t.

[18:57] crockett (buck): HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?!?

[18:58] tubbs (eddie): He let you blow up his phone with the history of tornado alley at 4am…?

[18:58] crockett (buck): …

Had that really been 4am? A quick swipe into his and Tommy’s text thread showed that, yes, Buck had gone down that particular rabbit hole at 4:12 in the morning and for some reason his boyfriend had entertained it. The corners of his mouth twitched up into a soft smile as he returned to the conversation with Eddie.

[18:58] crockett (buck): fair point

[18:58] crockett (buck): i’m freaking out over nothing, aren’t i???

[18:59] tubbs (eddie): Yeah but that’s okay. It just feeds Hen’s golden retriever theory.

[18:59] crockett (buck): pfft thanks man

It was at that moment that Buck glanced up and caught sight of the glowing “6:59” of the oven’s clock. In a moment of panic, the man nearly dropped his phone as he fumbled to finish up his conversation with Eddie.

[18:59] crockett (buck): he’s probably on his way up now, gtg

[19:00] tubbs (eddie): Have fun, man!!

[19:00] tubbs (eddie): Not too much though lol.

No sooner had Buck placed the phone back on the counter when three quiet knocks sounded from the front door. The blonde didn’t even realize he was holding his breath until he pulled the door open and found himself standing face-to-face with Tommy. Tommy, who stood there in a simple gray tee shirt, a light-weight denim jacket, and jeans like he was unaware of his ability to make any outfit look like it was made for him, somehow. The pilot's usually immaculate hair was less styled than usual, a couple of loose little brown waves falling just below his hairline. Just looking at the man, his boyfriend, made Buck feel like the air in his lungs had been punched out of him.

"Hey, you." Tommy's voice jarred Buck out of his praise-filled train of thought, amused and warm in a way the younger man thought he would never fully get used to.

"Hi, hey, uh–" As Buck's voice cracked, he could already feel the warmth of what was undoubtedly an outrageous blush working its way up the back of his neck. “You made it with a minute to spare!”

“It would have been more but I spent about ten minutes driving ‘round the block,” Tommy accepted Buck’s silent invitation inside, stepping around him and stooping down to untie his boots. “Someone really needs to teach some of your neighbors parking etiquette. I didn’t realize that it was possible to park so perfectly in between two spots.”

“Oh my god, I know right?” Buck groused as he closed the door, idly listening to the deadbolt click into place while his eyes drank in the sight of Tommy’s jacket pulled taut across his shoulders.

‘God, Buck, let the man at least take off his shoes before you jump his bones–’ His inner voice which, at this moment, sounded suspiciously like Hen reminded him of his priorities as Tommy straightened up. Good boyfriend duties first, there was more than enough time for embarrassing amounts of thirsty thoughts and flirting later.

“Here, let me.” Buck reached out, tugging lightly on the collar of Tommy’s jacket and helping the man shuck it off his shoulders, thrilled to catch the sight of his boyfriend’s dimpled smile as he made his way to the dining table to carefully drape it over the back of one of the chairs.

The sound of Tommy following him across the room was the only warning that Buck got before two strong arms were curling themselves around his waist; a warm, sturdy weight that never failed to ignite the warm campfire in his chest. The culprit in question chuckled as the blonde realized he had practically melted back into the embrace.

“What’re you laughing at?” Buck questioned with no real accusation in his voice, carefully spinning around so that he could look at Tommy rather than stare out the window at the sun as it made its descent toward the horizon. He found himself hooking his right arm around his boyfriend’s neck while his left hand came to rest on Tommy’s bicep as if it were second nature.

Maybe it was, honestly.

“You know, if I didn’t know better, I would say you got off shift 12 minutes ago, not twelve hours. You seem… keyed up.” Tommy quirked an eyebrow at Buck, his bright blue eyes seeming to tear through the younger man’s outer facade like paper. Usually, that would send Buck on the defense but he found none of that nerve-wracking, prickly feeling crawling up his throat this time; instead, he chuckled sheepishly and used the hand behind Tommy’s head to gesture vaguely.

“I may have had too much energy and went on a bit of a cleaning spree,” Buck explained, his voice dropping down to match Tommy’s as he waited for the other man to glance around, judge the apartment, maybe make a quip about the place needing a good spruce up or something.

But of course, this was Tommy. If there was one thing Buck could count on Tommy for, the man could surprise him with even the smallest of acts.

“Your place is cleaner than like 95% of men in their thirties, Evan– how did you even manage to find eight hours worth of stuff to clean in here?” Tommy was looking right at him, his undivided attention pinned on Buck as his eyes hopped from point to point on his face, as if he were trying to solve a puzzle.

“I also went to the store, grabbed some groceries, a few different options for dinner if you haven’t already eaten which– shit, I should have asked you earlier! I can always just whip something up quick for myself later or if you aren’t feeling my cooking we could do takeou– mmh!” Tommy had apparently picked up on the easiest way to get Buck to stop running his mouth a mile a minute, as one second he was dividing his attention between the brunette’s amused expression and the fridge to his left, and the next he was instinctively closing his eyes as Tommy’s big palm curled around his jaw and he became suitably distracted by the feeling of slightly chapped lips pressed against his.

Buck genuinely couldn’t think of anything more enjoyable than this: being wrapped up in an embrace with his gorgeous, considerate, unfairly competent boyfriend, losing the seemingly constant edge of anxiety and stress that he carried around like a set of weights upon his shoulders under the more pressing weight of Tommy’s gentle yet insistent lips upon his, the scrape of stubble and the smell of aftershave like catnip to him.

Idly, Buck wondered what it was like for Tommy. Was he just as content being in Buck’s space? As easily lost in the simple act of being close and melting into each other with a familiarity that the blonde knew couldn’t just be his imagination. There was deep curiosity inside himself that urged him to beg Tommy for a glimpse inside his mind, to promise he’d listen to every word if the older man would let him. But even that voice was overpowered by the pure single-mindedness that kissing Tommy brought out in him.

Eventually, they pulled apart, although they didn’t go far, barely a few inches separating their faces as Tommy spoke, his eyes glinting in a way that Buck was finding hard to ignore.

“I don’t think I know of anyone else on the face of the planet that could work a twenty-four hour shift, clean his entire apartment, come up with and go grocery shopping for multiple meals, and still manage to be as energetic as you are, Evan. It’s equally impressive as it is mildly concerning.” Tommy ran his thumb across Buck’s cheek, tracing the bone beneath his stubbly skin with a reverence that had his earlier flush returning with a vengeance. “What’s your secret? Or is that just how you’ve always been?”

“I’ve gone a mile a minute since I was born, according to Maddie.” Buck laughed softly, his right hand coming up to idly scrape his fingernails through the short hair at the nape of Tommy’s neck as he continued, his voice taking on a softer edge: “Well, I mean… knowing you’d be here may have given me a pretty sizable boost as well, if I’m honest.”

For a moment, the silence between them made it feel like they were on pause, time going by around them while they stood still. Buck waited with bated breath, somehow nervous he had somehow messed up the moment by being too honest, or maybe he had shown his hand too early. And then, like the sun breaking through the clouds on an overcast day, Tommy smiled and the prettiest shade of pink spread from the tips of his ears to the apples of his cheeks. Buck couldn’t help it as his mouth split into a grin at the sight.

“You didn’t– Evan, you really didn’t have to do that for me. You just got off of a hectic shift and probably needed a nap more than the loft needed a deep clean.” Tommy tilted his head, taking his eyes off Buck for a few seconds to scan over the apartment loosely before returning his gaze to him. “I promise you that I don’t mind some dust or clutter or even an unmade bed.”

Buck gasped dramatically, lifting his hand off Tommy’s bicep to clutch his imaginary pearls, his commitment to the bit trumping his need to soak in his boyfriend’s proximity. “Tommy Kinard, if you think I’d ever let such a handsome guest in my home without making the bed, you must have a horrible impression of me and my hosting standards!” Buck wasn’t sure where the pompous attitude came from, in all honesty– maybe he had been watching too many of Maddie’s dramas.

Tommy barked out a laugh that had Buck melting on the inside before seemingly pulling his composure back into place, fixing the other man with a faux-serious look that, if Buck didn’t know better, he would have thought it was real.

“Evan Buckley, I know you would never willingly leave your bed unmade, you keep quite the tight ship around here. I was simply stating that even if you were a hoarder, I would still come over as often as I could manage.” The implied “for you” at the end of the sentence made Buck silently curse his light complexion as he was sure that he was probably redder than the 118’s engines.

A quiet laugh made its way out of Buck’s mouth as he dropped his hand back to Tommy’s arm: “Yeah, I don’t see myself becoming a hoarder any time soon– I have enough stuff scattered around here as it is!”

Tommy silently raised an eyebrow at him. Before he could even make the comment Buck knew was coming, the younger man surged forward to place a firm kiss on his boyfriend’s mouth, giving him a taste of his own medicine for once. This kiss broke off quicker as Buck pulled back to grumble playfully against Tommy’s jawline.

“If you even mention the C word in this house I am not cooking dinner, do you hear me, mister?”

“... Evan, you’re not cooking dinner either way– you’ve been awake for the better part of thirty-six hours– I am making you something quick and getting you to bed before you drop.” Tommy’s words baffled Buck. Weren’t they supposed to be having date night? Of course Buck would cook! He was not that tired!

“I did not just clean and buy groceries and make you drive all the way out here for you to spend a few minutes cooking and then leave like a maid!!” Buck said incredulously, eyebrows furrowed as he searched Tommy’s face for clues as to what was going through his head.

“Ev–” Tommy started to speak, Buck cutting him off, the metaphorical boulder inside his brain having already picked up too much speed to stop now.

“No, Tommy! Today has been long, sure– I did only get to sleep for maybe thirty minutes in between the 8-car pile up and the campers who nearly started a brush fire. Twice. But I have been really excited about getting to see you all day! Hell–”

“Evan–”

“I was so amped that I decided to buy a different beer than usual and called Eddie in a panic because I somehow don’t know what kind of beer you like which is kind of a problem we need to solve, by the way–”

“You didn’t have to–”

“-and now you’re here and I’m going to cook you whatever you want and we’re gonna watch some random documentary and cuddle and have a full night together while our days off line up, okay?!”

“Evan, I’m not going to leave!” Tommy’s hands went from Buck’s waist to cupping his jaw, gentle but insistent. “Now, will you breathe for a second, babe? You’re gonna go blue at this rate.” It took a second for Buck to process Tommy’s words, realizing his boyfriend was right. Taking a second to drop his head down on the other’s broad shoulder and taking a couple of deep breaths, the brunette’s hands came to rub up and down his back in a soothing manner.

“...’M sorry, didn’t mean to get so heated with you.” Buck apologized quietly, his voice muffled by the fabric of Tommy’s tee shirt. He couldn’t bring himself to pull away just yet, the weight of Tommy’s arms keeping him grounded.

“You’re good, I should have realized that being vague would set you into a spiral, especially with how little sleep you’re running on right now.” Tommy sighed softly, his tone just as apologetic as Buck’s, which didn’t seem right in the former’s mind but, like a wave a mile high, his little outburst had seemingly sapped the last of the energy from his body. He quickly realized he'd have to pick his fights carefully here before he embarrassed himself even further.

“You’re… not leaving?” Buck just had to clarify that. If he was getting shipped off to bed, did that mean Tommy planned on just… hanging around? Watching some TV? Reading a book? Taking embarrassing photos of him while he slept to send to Chimney and Eddie?

“No.” The way Tommy said that simple word made his knees weak; it was so unbelievably tender, like the idea in and of itself physically pained the pilot to even think about. Beneath Buck's forehead, Tommy’s muscles stiffened up. The sleepy blonde made an involuntary, confused noise in the back of his throat.

“I mean, unless you want me to…?” Oh.

Oh. Tommy thought Buck wanted to kick him out? That was so absurd that he couldn’t help but start laughing, hard enough that he could hear the chair behind him jostling against the table, creating a horrible, cacophonous sound with the echo of his near-delirious laughter.

After a few moments, Tommy joined in; it took them well over a minute to wind down, Buck’s head pressed against the side of his boyfriend’s neck and said boyfriend’s arms squeezing around his waist once again.

“I just went on a whole ramble about you not leaving, do I need to get a sign above the door that says ‘Tommy Kinard is ALWAYS Welcome’ on it or something?” Buck said, his tone teasing as he peeled himself away from Tommy’s neck, blinking his eyes a couple of times to try and discreetly fight the impending drowsiness seeping deep into his bones.

“I mean, I wouldn’t be opposed, but what about when I mention the couch?” Buck gasped dramatically, clumsily trying to cover Tommy’s mouth with his hand but missing. Badly. He somehow completely missed his boyfriend’s mouth, instead slapping his hand haphazardly on Tommy’s chin. After staring at his hand for a few seconds, Buck concluded that okay, maybe he was losing his fight against exhaustion a bit more than he thought.

“Alright, I think maybe dinner can wait– you are beyond exhausted.” Tommy echoed his sentiment sternly, dropping one of his arms from around Buck and using the other to nudge at the small of his back, pushing him towards the stairs.

Buck went willingly, mental flashes of him losing consciousness and cracking his skull open on the stairs or maybe the dining table acting as a great motivator for him to accept Tommy’s help getting to bed. Somewhere in the myriad of thoughts swirling around his exhausted mind, guilt was starting to seep into the forefront of his mind.

Even with Tommy’s reassurances and the soft pressure of his hand on Buck’s back, steadying him on their short trip up the stairs, his brain was sure that he’d fucked up. Tommy nudged him towards the bathroom as they reached the top of the stairs. He shuffled his way inside, listening to his mind idly pondering what Frank would have to say about this sudden bowling ball of guilt sitting in his stomach.

As the door clicked shut behind Buck, he could hear Tommy moving outside, the sound of fabric rustling, and the quiet humming of a tune that the blonde couldn’t place. Tragically, turning on the tap drowned out that heart-achingly domestic ambiance. The knowledge of what was waiting for him on the other side of the thin door spurred him through brushing his teeth and quickly washing his face. After some consideration, he stripped off the dark jeans he had tugged on earlier in favor of his boxers and the maroon tee shirt.

Stepping back into his bedroom, Buck was drawn immediately to the sight of his bed: the gray duvet had one corner flipped up from where it once was neatly tucked in. Not only that, but the water glass that habitually sat on his bedside table had been refilled, and the lights on the bottom floor of his loft were all turned off, leaving the small lamps on either end of his bed as the only light source in the apartment. Buck could already feel his lips curling up in a smile, touched by Tommy’s attention to detail and care no matter how many times the other man unknowingly put it on display.

Speaking of Tommy, Buck’s eyes drifted over to the man who stood by the short bookshelf mainly used as a TV stand. The pilot held a small stuffed animal, a cat Buck could have picked out from a lineup any day.

"That's probably one of my favorite things in this place." Buck walked over, bumping his shoulder against Tommy's as he came to stand side by side with his boyfriend.

"It was a gift from a little girl. Angel. She uh... She got trapped in a housefire way back when I first started with the LAFD," Tommy tilted his head to glance at Buck, eyes sparkling with interest so pure that the sleepy man couldn't help but continue, struggling to return his gaze to the toy as he spoke.

"She was this tiny little kid standing like right next to the engine, crying real bad and holding this little stuffed animal with a death grip. I stopped to make sure she wasn't injured and turned out, the poor kid's cat was still inside. So I ran in, the house was pretty much in shambles at that point... But I had this feeling, I guess," Buck could almost feel the flames of the home's hallways as he spoke, recalling Bobby's voice yelling at him through the comms under the sound of beams buckling and the fire roaring beside him.

"I ran into the room at the end of the hall and 'lo and behold, there was this giant tabby cat under the kid's bed." Buck made a vague gesture with his hands, recalling the fluffy beast he almost mistook as a winter jacket that got shoved under the bed. Beside him, Tommy huffed out a surprised laugh, looking between the blonde and the tiny tabby toy with amusement.

"I know, I know, I was just as surprised! I thought I was looking for a little kitten, maybe, or a smaller cat at least. It had to be some sorta Maine Coon or a Siberian or something-- It was the size of a backpack!" Buck couldn't help but laugh as well, dropping his head onto Tommy's shoulder as he did so, relishing in his ability to be the one leaning rather than the one being leaned on for a moment. It was nice, he had to admit.

"When I brought the cat out to her, she turned to me with the biggest, teariest smile and traded me. The toy for the cat. I tried to give it back but she said that she didn't need it, I'd given her the real thing back." Buck finished, his eyes suspiciously wet. Thankfully, Tommy didn't call him out on it. Instead, the older man carefully put the stuffed toy back in its place on the shelf and turned to face him, an indescribably soft expression on his face.

"I think you have the biggest heart of anyone I've met, Evan." The sincerity in Tommy's voice nearly bowled Buck over with its intensity. The part of Buck that always yearned to be seen and cared for was practically vibrating beneath his skin, fighting with the part of him that wanted to brush off Tommy's kindness, make some ill-placed joke, or perhaps a half-hearted denial.

"I- I'm not... I was just doing my job--" Buck croaked out, his hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck.

"Yeah, maybe at first. Checking in on her, making sure she wasn't hurt both definitely fall under doing your job," Tommy tugged on Buck's free hand, guiding him towards the side of the bed with the duvet flipped over, his clear eyes staying locked on Buck's even as he walked his way backward towards the bed.

"But you ran into a burning building alone, searching for a cat that you figured would be too small to see easily through the smoke, you hauled that cat out of there, alive." When Tommy nudged Buck onto the bed, he obliged, crawling into the bed with one hand still clutching Tommy's as if the man would disappear without it. Thankfully, it seemed Tommy felt the same way, following right behind him.

After a bit of shuffling and adjusting, including Tommy fighting with his jeans while Buck fought with the sheets he somehow already had tangled around his legs, they quickly found a comfortable balance. Buck was pretty much on top of Tommy, his head tucked under his boyfriend's stubble-covered chin. Their legs intertwined as Buck curled in towards Tommy, who was lying on his back with his arm around Buck's shoulders.

The rumble of Tommy's voice right beneath his ear was soft and soothing. Buck idly wondered if, in another life, Tommy had been a cat, the soft rumbling reminding his sleep-addled mind of a cat's purr. "You know how I really know you weren't just doing your job, Ev?" Buck craned his head back, his answering "No, how?" muffled against the column of Tommy's neck.

"When that girl gave you her stuffed animal, you kept it. You didn't leave it at the firehouse, or throw it out, or donate it. You put it right there in front of your bed, and stood there to tell me the story even though you're running on fumes. That's not the job, Evan," Tommy turned his head, pressing his lips to the crown of Buck's head.

Oh, he'd done it now. Buck was well aware there was no backpedaling now that his mind had caught up with something he had subconsciously been tiptoeing around since the fateful cat-5 mouth static.

“B’careful there, Tommy… You keep saying stuff like that and I’ll start to think you like me.” Buck mumbled, his voice coming out far softer than he had expected (and maybe a bit slurred but who could blame him, he was more comfortable lying there with his boyfriend than he had been since he couldn’t even remember when).

“I’m not dating you cause I feel ‘meh’ towards you, Ev– you know that, right?” Tommy’s hand squeezed Buck’s shoulder gently, a comforting gesture for the both of them.

“Mmhm… Don’t worry, Hen can’t tease you for liking me if I like you more.” If Buck was asked later where this comment came from, he’d blame it on being on the verge of falling asleep, and spew some facts about how exhaustion for over 18 can cause one to act similarly to someone at the legal limit for alcohol consumption. Secretly, Buck knew it was his way of letting Tommy know that he was in it, ready and willing to be teased and seen as a love-struck fool when it came to his boyfriend because… well, who wouldn’t?!

Buck didn’t stay awake long enough to hear Tommy’s response or to feel the other man carefully shift him onto his side so that he could flip off the lights and crawl right back into bed behind him, curling almost protectively around the firefighter with a grin hidden in the dark of the room as Buck practically burrowed himself back into the embrace with a tender, sleepy sound that could melt the ice caps.

As Buck and Tommy had both suspected would happen, the blonde-haired man slept for what would have been record-breaking amounts of time if it weren’t for the many injury-induced recovery comas that he’d been subject to over his time as an LAFD firefighter. Buck only woke once during the night, his eyes fluttering open to the faint light of the slowly lightening sky illuminating the loft. For a moment, the man didn’t register the body plastered to his back as anything more than an oddly moved pillow until the dull thump-thump-thump of Tommy’s heartbeat kickstarted his sleepy brain. It couldn’t have been later than three or four in the morning and Buck knew he should just close his eyes and let sleep drag him back under but the call of his boyfriend curled against him was more appealing.

Despite his many relationships and flings, Buck couldn’t recall ever being the little spoon. Once, when he and Taylor’s relationship was still new, he woke up to go on shift and found her arm thrown over his hip but that was nothing like this. From head to toe, he was engulfed by Tommy, his broad chest pressed flush to Buck’s back and one of his thighs slotting perfectly between his own. It was warm and all-encompassing and oddly, Buck felt protected in a way he couldn’t quite put words to.

It was almost like Tommy had found a way to bundle Buck up without making him feel trapped or suffocated, simply supported and cared for and loved in a way he had only ever felt in brief intangible moments in the past. Carefully, as to not disturb his lovely boyfriend, Buck rolled over, gazing up at Tommy through half-closed eyes, admiring him for so long it probably would have been creepy if it weren’t for the fact that it was mostly dark out and Tommy was peacefully dozing, unaware of his gaze.

After what could have been a second or an hour, Tommy’s arms squeezed around Buck’s waist, pulling him impossibly closer and Buck closed his eyes, humming happily as he slowly let himself fall back asleep, mentally ingraining the image of Tommy with his messy hair lit by the cool morning light into his brain, the serenity flooding his system like a drug he would never get enough of.

(Eventually, Buck woke up at nearly eleven in the morning on top of Tommy to the muted sound of the man in question typing something on his phone with one hand while the other rubbed circles on his lower back. He was confused as to how he got there, considering they had both been on their sides, but according to his boyfriend, Buck had crawled entirely on top of Tommy in protest after the man got up to use the bathroom. Although Tommy insisted it had been “frankly adorable, ten out of ten would get crushed by you anytime,” Buck rolled out of bed with a blush down to his chest, locking himself in the bathroom in his embarrassment at the cost of hearing Tommy’s teasing laughter but not being able to see his gorgeous smile.)

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