#So I'm sure not being able to be fully present because he was so pained was horrible for everyone involved

[saltpepperbeard]

Stede + His Babies

[k0juki]

It's just a vase

Kimi Räikkönen x fem!reader

gn is alright too!

Warnings: blood, sad reader, maybe slight panic attack, mentions of y/n BUT soft Kimi that loves y/n so mutch. And one Google translate

Hurt/Comfort angst and bit of fluff I guess? It's longer than I wanted it to be, but 💁‍♀️

summary: Kimi calmly reassure reader when she drop a glass, gently checking her hands for any injury.

Words: 680

---

It wasn't her fault, it really wasn't. That stupid vase just slipped out of her hands.

That's what she told herself. 

And y/n being y/n, clumsy as always didn't mean to destroy it, even if it was by an  accident, she still feels horrible. It's just a stupid glass, nothing that you can repair, but still, she feels horrible.

 She doesn't want him to know that she broke his favorite one, the one that she gave him on his birthday, as a present from her.

And what she doesn't want him to know, is that she had accidentally cut herself when she started to clean up the shards.

Y/n told herself that she's gonna clean it up before Kimi comes back. But her hand hurts and is still bleeding. At first it didn't hurt at all and the bleeding wasn't that bad, but the more she tried to help, the more it bled and hurt.

She couldn't do anything more than sit there, lean back against the couch and cry. She felt pathetic, "why i wasn't more careful?" now, fully crying, she didn't heard that Kimi came back from his training. 

When he opened the door, he knew something wasn't right, maybe it's because he didn't got his "hey Kimi, you're finally home, I made your favorite" or "we can now watch that new movie you were talking about", no, the only think he heard was soft cries from the next room.

Without a second thought, Kimi storm to the living room of your shared apartment, to find you sitting on the floor crying with bloody hand and about millions of shards next to you. The bood now staining the new carpet she bought last week and how happy she was when they bought it, to their home.

"Hey, hey it's alright, y/n you hear me? It's alright ". Kimi said, calmly reassuring, kneeling in front of her. "Let me see your hand okay? It's alright I promise". He took her hand and examined it, upon seeing the large but not deep cut he knew it wasn't anything serious, but was still careful and conscious of the pain she must be feeling in the moment.

Carefully, he helped y/n stand up and go around the shards. "I'm sorry " was all she was able to say. "It's all right love, there's nothing to be sorry for". He got her shaking form to the bathroom and gently picked her up, to make her sit on the counter. "What happened Lumihiutale?". Kimi said as he started wrapping bandage around her hand, after he disinfected it.

Y/n looked at him, when her cries died after while, but was still shaking and had lump in her throat. "Well I-I was cleaning" she started speaking, voice weak and wobbly "a-and I accidentally dropped the vase and then it s-shattered and tried to clean it, but I had cut myself and it hurt a-and I..." she almost started to cry again, but Kimi had stopped it before she could. 

"Hey, hey, look at me, it's alright, it's just a vase, yeah? A vase." He softly said to her. Putting his hands on each side of her head, looking straight to her eyes, his piercing blues looking into hers, kissing her slowly. 

"Don't apologize, okay? I'm just glad that you are alright now" he said after he pulled away. Helping her down and making sure she was fine he said "c'mon i will clean it up and then we'll watch some movie, how about that, hm?"

Now when y/n wasn't crying anymore, she turned to him, carefully wrapping both of her hands around his torso and resting her head on his shoulder. Finally feeling better after the mess she accidentally made. 

"Thank you Kimi" she whispered as she felt his arms wrapping around her, his left hand holding the back of her head, gently massaging her scalp and his other wrapping around her waist, kissing the top of her head.

"There's nothing to be thanking for Lumihiutale, I love you, alright?"

"Love you too Kimi".

---

Lumihiutale = snow flake

DO NOT COPY OR TRANSLATE MY WORK!

I promised nsfw, but I felt angsty...so tomorrow or maybe later today will be nsfw 🙏 bear with me

English is not my first language so feel free to point out any mistakes or errors!

The picture is not mine! Credit goes to owner!

[herebutnothere]

This scene in S7 E5 is so so important to the bridge between who Rick and Michonne were as people before each other and who Rick and Michonne are as individuals and a unit once they find and learn each other.

At this point in their journey they're at a crossroads. The Saviors have just murdered their friends and have put their community under a constant state of danger and strife. The very life and freedom they walked the extra 100 miles for is at risk.

And yet...

Rick is willing to accept it. He's already lost so much and he can't see a way out that doesn't include more losses that he's not sure he can handle.

But Michonne is willing to fight. While she too has lost so much, she can't see a way forward that includes rolling over.

Rolling over like Mike (who cost her her son).

Or rolling over like Andrea (who cost her the trust and friendship she carefully opened herself up to).

So here, when Rick says that he's going to go find things to appease this force weighing on them, that he's using his time and energy and power to essentially surrender, they're at odds.

For Rick, this comes with self-doubt, self-consciousness, and embarrassment. Maybe he can't keep them safe.

For Michonne, this comes with self-doubt, fear, and hesitation. Maybe she'll lose everything again.

But it's important to note that they're at odds with the method, not at odds with each other.

So. Back to this scene.

Rick says that if you change your mind, you can join us. You can join me. (Please don't leave. Please don't doubt me. That's a pain I can't handle.)

For him, Negan's presence is the manifestation of all his internal doubts. And we've seen what happened before when those internal doubts were presented in human form (Shane x Lori).

Lori turned from him. She doubted him. She lost faith in him. She, for all intents and purposes, left him.

So when he sees Michonne's doubt and hesitations, he thinks it's happening again. That she's turning from him. That she's doubting him. That she's lost faith in him. That she'll leave him. That she's disgusted by his "weakness". That she's at odds with him because we know that he internalizes his decisions as a reflection of himself.

That she can't handle, accept, or love this side of him.

But Michonne isn't even focused on that. She's stuck on her way of doing things. Of not being able to trust anyone and needing to be the only person who can step up. She's trying to not lose Rick and Carl and the others the same way she lost her son. She's reverting to hyper-independence.

So when she shifts his peck on the cheek to kiss him fully, when she holds his face and looks into his eyes, it's her saying "I see you. I understand. And I still need to do this for myself." (I'm not at odds with you. I'm trying to prove myself wrong. I need to see it through.)

His "thank you" is for her wordless affirmation. For her grace. For her love. For her acceptance of what he thinks he needs to do and who he thinks he needs to be in this moment to keep them all safe.

And with this, the bridge between them is strengthened. The Rick who still struggles with the weight of leadership that's been thrust upon him and the Michonne who hasn't fully trusted this new world around her begin to settle. And when each comes back at the end of the day having played out their individual methods and seen the proof they need firsthand, they have a new understanding of what they're facing.

Because this time is different.

Rick didn't have her before and Michonne didn't have him.

But now, they have each other. That's why she says that together they can defeat the Saviors. They need each other. His strength and hers. Different forms of strength made more powerful and amplified by the individual experiences they've had.

Le sigh.

This is one of my favorite scenes of theirs and in my mind lays the foundation for how everything in TOWL played out, from his escape attempts to her being able to break through his trauma. Simple perfection.

[satureja13]

Jack is still visiting the temple regularly to get help with his pain. Arturo doesn't ask questions about the Boys' stay here in the otherworld - but since Kiyoshi is fully back from the tree, Arturo knows all of this had shaken them up. So he invited them to a little dinner party.

Arturo: "Friends - we have a celebration today. Our diety returned into the worlds again. Many obstacles lie behind - new tasks lie ahead. But today lets just be joyful!" All listened up. Saiwa: "A diety? Kiyoshi?" Jack in his little Armadillo Bubble thinks this is good news. Kiyoshi being a diety means he'll be far far away from him and he can heal in peace...

Kiyoshi: "What?" Arturo: "What 'what'? You have your temple here, your servants. Your believers make their ardous way here to the Otherworld to worship you and see your wonders. To ask for healing and help. To see the tree that you lived in and lit up for decades."

Saiwa asked Arturo what this means for them. Dtui said they should stay together until Kiyoshi 'learned' from his mistakes and Other Jeb also urged them to stay together to avoid some of them getting killed. Arturo: "Oh, the Master doesn't have to stay here. The believers are used to not getting to see him. They believe in the tree, you know?" Saiwa doesn't know. This is so weird... Arturo: "The tree is fine without the Master all time around. It still does it's wonders. I was able to heal Jack and help other believers that came here - even when Kiyosho wasn't here. Just take him with you and when you're able to help me a bit around here - I'd be grateful." Saiwa: "Of course we'll do that. Thank you for everything, Arturo."

Kiyoshi doesn't know what to think anymore. He went to the otherworld to forget about Jack and reflect on his mistakes after he got banned from the Temple in Mount Komorebi because he lost control over his demon. And now he's a diety? (That's not the first time such things happen, Kiyoshi ^^' Even though you are far from being enlightened.) Arturo: "Now let's eat and be joyful - the Master returned!" He didn't need to say this twice to Jack (there's pizza!) and the goats. The others are not so sure if they can eat now ö.Ö'

Little Goat: "He said we can eat anything today!" Little Goat: "What a great party!" Little Goat: "Long live the Master!"

After dinner Arturo cleaned up and the others are doing their chores around the temple.

Before they left, Arturo took Saiwa aside. Arturo: "I'm a bit busy with all the visitors we have here at the temple since the Master is back and I know you can't tell me about anything that's going on with you, but here is a little present for you. Put this circuit board in a device that's strong enough and it will help you through this." Saiwa: "Ok? Thank you."

'When you are old enough to read these words Their meaning will unfold

These words are all that's left and though we've never met, my only son. I hope you know that I would have been there to watch you grow But my call was heard and I did go Now your mission lies ahead of you As it did mine so long ago

To help the helpless ones, who all look up to you And to defend them to the end

Defender Ride like the wind. Fight proud, my son You're the defender God has sent'

Defender - Manowar

From the Beginning  ~  Underwater Love ~  Latest 🛺 'Home happy Home' from the beginning ▶️ here 📚 Previous Chapters: 🛺 'Home crappy Home' from the beginning ▶️ here 🌴 'The Expedition' from the beginning ▶️ here 🎤 'Putting the Boys Back together' from the beginning ▶️ here 🥀 'Disbandment of the Group' from the beginning ▶️ here

[joojeans]

could i request hyung line during and/or after a fight? like them and f!reader have been so busy with their own jobs and dont have time with eo and theyre stressed and tired and everything? i need me sum angst :] thank you! <3

since you didn't request comfort or a fluff ending, this is pure angst!

&team hyung line: fighting w s/o because they miss each other

k: the first moments of silence in the last hour pass. the tension in the air is thick, your hands curling into little frustrated fists as you stand awkwardly on the other side of the room from k. "k, i just think—" you're interrupted by a loud groan as k leans his head back into the couch and forces his eyes shut as if he would cease to hear you if he couldn't see you. your heart aches. would he really wish you away right now if it was so easy? "y/n, today has been the longest day as it is. can you please not drain the last bit of energy i have?" your heart somehow sinks further, your lips pursing as you try to fight back tears. "i just thought we could make more intentional efforts to see each other even when we're busy. it's not easy, k, but we didn't sign up for easy." your tone is devoid of any feeling, k's eyes opening and looking over to you. he doesn't say anything, so you give up for the moment, heading in the direction of the front door as he watches you with sad eyes—eyes reflecting loss and a sense of having no control over his pain.

fuma: "i didn't realize i was asking for so much," you grumble, hissing when you accidentally touch the hot pot on the stove, minorly searing one of your fingers. "fuck!" you've reached your breaking point and it's obvious to you and fuma alike. fuma reaches for your hand as he stands next to you, but you yank your hand away, stepping away from him. "don't. i want to spend time with you just to be together. i don't want it just when you feel like you need to rescue me." your words sting. fuma has surely spent many more days of you being together showing you that he cares so much. all the days of missing each other that have been piling up shouldn't be able to make your strong foundation collapse... right? he stares at the side of your face as you examine your finger, your jaw tense. "you and i both know that's not fair, y/n, but i understand that you're saying it because you're hurt. let me know when you actually want to talk, because i'm not here to be your punching bag."

nicholas: you push nicholas's hands away with a frown instead of laughing like you usually do when he tickles you. his hands freeze in place, hovering in the air before he slowly moves them to rest on his thighs, turning his head to the side to look at you. you're sitting next to him but you're not really there. "y/n? are you okay?" you sigh, avoiding his gaze. "i'm just really not in the mood to pretend like everything's all happy and normal when you haven't had time for me for the last few weeks. feels like shit, nicholas." nicholas looks down to his lap, fingers nervously fiddling with themselves as he speaks quietly. "i'm sorry, y/n. i didn't mean for it to be so long. you know i'd always rather be with you." you feel a pang of guilt, but you're not over your hurt feelings enough yet to accept his words of apology. "if you wanted to be with me, you could've found time. you didn't." nicholas nods, resigned. "i'm sorry," he mumbles again softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

euijoo: you're trying so hard to focus on the movie you're watching with euijoo. it's your first night together in too long, so you want to enjoy it, but everything feels awkward. off. he's not smiling at you like he usually does, too tired from work to be fully present. before you can stop it, tears well up in your eyes and fall silently down your cheeks. it doesn't take euijoo long to notice—he's been glancing at you every few seconds all night, obviously trying to make sure he's making you happy. "y-y/n?" his voice is so soft, concerned. he's watching you cry but he's frozen. "what's wrong?" you shake your head and swallow the lump in your throat. "i just miss you, euijoo." his eyes are darting all over your face, searching for answers. "but... i'm right here." the worry on his face makes you feel ashamed. he hasn't actually done anything wrong, but you can't help how you feel. you nod, trying to force a smile as you look at him with glossy eyes. "i know, euijoo. i know."

[just-a-sleepy-idiot]

grabber has a crush on reader /maxs girlfriend

Content/Warnings: F!Reader, Corruption kink, Kidnapping, Yandere kind of obsession

The Grabber Drabble: Having a crush on Max's Girlfriend and kidnapping you

Ever since you accompanied Max to his brothers house for the first time the man who was only known to the city as 'the Grabber' was deeply intrigued by you.

You were a gentle person by nature, presenting yourself to be so pleasantly mild mannered even at the most idiotic things his brother did. You had something so.. wreck able to you that made his chest tighten with exhilaration.

He wanted to take control over this lovely being, be your protector and your punisher at the same time and paint this body with his marks.

But you were taken by none other than his brother, a nice person for sure, but certainly not cut out to treat you the way you should be. Because surely others had set their eyes on you as well, as did the Grabber, without his brother taking notice of it.

If you were his he would make sure that no other man could even consider you, he would immerse you fully with his control.

It was when you were alone for the first time that he knew he had to take you.

He had asked Max and you to come over for dinner, but you arrived alone because your boyfriend would be late. You could have waited for Max to be back again, but you came nonetheless to help with the cooking.

He could just keep on observing you next to him, and he felt that he couldn't take it once you left his house again to return to Max instead. He just could not let that happen.

You turned around for a moment and he stared at the back of his head- he knew he had to take you now.

He closed the distance between you and pressed his large hand over your mouth, wrapping his arm around your front. Your scream was muffled as you were completely taken by surprise, your feet getting off the ground and kicking the air when he lifted you up against his chest.

You struggled against him, punching the air in an attempt to get a hold of him as he carried you backwards out the kitchen, looking over his shoulder to the basement door. A relieved laugh escaped him, you were finally about to be his!! He squeezed you, his breath quickening with you finally in his arms.

You felt him burying his face in your hair, lightly pressing his nose against your throat, taking in your scent.

"You have to understand that this is for the best Darling." He spoke with something darkened to his voice, a raspiness that you wouldn't have expected in him.

"You will come to understand that you need me. I will take better care of you now."

When he reached the door he let go a little to properly open the door, at that moment you broke free and ran with a scream echoing through the dimly lit hall. You heard the creaking of the floor behind you as he caught up with ease and slammed you against the wall.

You cried out in pain as your back hit the wall and his hands loudly smashed against the surface next to your head, trapping you there before you could try to run again.

He leaned down and grabbed you by the back of your thighs. In the next moment he threw you over his shoulder and carried you back to the basement door.

"No! No please!" You pleaded, hitting the wall, hitting his back, watching the kitchen move further away into the lengthening hallway. Further away from being seen ever again by the world outside.

"Why are you doing this??" You cried as he walked down the stairs with you, seeing how concrete walls started surrounding you.

He carefully slid you off his shoulder and softly let you fall on the mattress, eyeing this beautiful panicked expression on your face as you saw him, saw his true colors for the first time.

"I'm there! I'm sorry for taking so long!" Max called back from the kitchen and both of your eyes shot up to the still open basement door. The room was sound proof, but only when the doors were closed.

You inhaled, were about to scream when he pressed his hand on your mouth and put the other one on the back of your head.

"Don't strain that pretty voice, I still want you to be able to call out my name." He said mischievously, taking the hand from your head to unwrap a piece of clothing to shut your mouth with it.

Your screams were muffled against the fabric and he seemed satisfied with that for now. "I know.. I know you're scared. I promised you don't have to be gagged for long. I'll come back later with some of the food we cooked, be a darling and hold on till then."

With that he rose to his feet again and hurried to get upstairs, closing the doors tight behind him before meeting his brother.

"Max, didn't you bring Y/n?" His brother looked surprised, "I thought she would have already come over." The Grabber shook his head, returning to the stove.

"No, I haven't seen her."

***

I hope you liked how this turned out! Sry if this is dark xD Tell me what you thought!

[freakurodani]

Kageyama + Suga + Park + Yellow

"You remind me of my little brother sometimes, Kageyama."

"Huh?"

"Yup! He's still in middle school, but he's only a year younger than you. He's *also* a little prodigy." Sugawara's chuckle was warm. Kageyama was going to miss it. He couldn't *really* say that he made friends with all his teammates, but as a senpai, he secretly considered Sugawara his favorite.

"Though, my brother is into debate, rather than volleyball. Our parents are already planning his political future. They're aiming for Prime Minister, of course."

"... That doesn't sound like me at all?" The unsaid question was punctuated with the *bap* of the ball against his arms. His mouth and brows pinched, trying to piece together whatever puzzle Sugawara had presented him.

"Well, two are more different than similar. Like, I think I took all the tall genes before he could get them. He's still so small, it makes me feel really nice coming home to him after spending all day with you giants. I hope he never grows up, he's really cute!"

"Suga-san."

"Dang it, lost the lead again," Sugawara had the decency to at least sound apologetic, even if he was still smiling, after a year, Kageyama still hadn't figured out why Sugawara had so many different kinds of smiles. "You and my brother, you both work so hard, you know? And you inspire me to work hard, to be braver and fight for what I want."

Kageyama's cheeks felt warm. He decided to blame the setting sun, and not the praise. "Ah."

"I fully believe that the both of you can go anywhere you want in life." Sugawara caught the ball and turned his full attention to Kageyama. "I also want you both to remember me once your famous! When you get interviewed, remember to tell them Suga-senpai taught you all you know!"

Sugawara was winking at him. He was pretty sure he was being teased, but in the way meant to show affection rather than disdain. His mind couldn't help but compare the way Sugawara called him cute or made fun of him as a backwards way of praising him, to the way Oikawa would compliment him as a way of antagonizing him.

"You didn't though."

"Cheeky!!"

"Yeah," because he was. He was absolutely being cheeky. Somehow, Sugawara got him in a headlock and was giving him a noogie in retaliation. It wasn't painful, but he's *seen* bruises on Azumane's sides in the clubroom. He wasn't sure Sugawara knew how strong he was.

"Brat! You're such a brat! Just like my brother this way too!" But Sugawara didn't sound angry. It was nothing like the intense scolding he witnessed on the court. This was like when he'd complain to Daichi-san about being lumped with the trouble makers or calling Azumane a coward.

The assault didn't last long. They take a seat in the grass, by a tree. The shadows are growing longer. "You didn't teach me everything. But..." Sugawara's head is tilted toward him, attentive. "...You taught me a lot of very important things. How to communicate and pay attention to the spikers.H-how to earn their trust." Kageyama looked to the ball in his lap. "You didn't have to. We were competing for the same position. And... You made me better. Even though I'm the reason you didn't get to play a lot your third year. I'm sor-"

"Don't you dare apologize, Kageyama."

He felt himself stiffen. He was stuck in Sugawara's furious gaze. Eyes that usually felt so gentle burned him. He didn't shrink away, but he felt a little smaller.

"I got to play. Period. I got to see my team make the national stage, and maybe it wasn't exactly how I wanted it, but you guys... We were there. I've been asked why I stuck around, since I guess from an outside perspective, there was nothing in it for me. But let me assure you, Kageyama, I got *so much* out of this year. Indescribable as it is. So don't you apologize for that. Don't you apologize for your skill, for what you were able to help *our* team achieve. "

Kageyama exhaled. "You know, Sugawara-san... You remind me of someone too."

[oaxleaf]

mag 158 - panopticon

we're starting the trio of incredibly intense and dense episodes! the end of season four really is the turning point of the show. it's the climax of so many character arcs (martin, melanie, daisy) and also really plot-heavy. i'm not someone who really cares about spoilers and the first time i listened to the show was in oct/nov 2021, so i did probably have a vague idea of the plot twists (even if i don't think i myself at the time even really was sure about what i knew already lol) but this must have been really intense for those of you following along with show as it released

i did not see the whole body-jumping thing coming. to be honest, i never really followed along with rayner's whole thing, so i never even fully understood it. but one of the things i really appreciate about tma is that pretty much everything gets fully explained sooner or later, so i did eventually get it and until then i was happy to just follow along

i've gone on and on before about how daisy and jon are 100% paralllels and how the beats in her arc mirror what's to come for him, but god does this final scene of her make me go insane. i don't think daisy was ever going to be able to leave - she's just not the type of character and story to get a full redemption and happy ending - and i think there'd be no way to write her character that didn't end badly. and i really like that her giving in is a failure! for so many characters in her moral space, this would have been a sacrifice and a redemption, but daisy has already gotten her chance of redemption, has already gotten as far as the narrative would ever allow her, and this is not a heroic moment. it's regression and it's tragedy and it's her giving in to her worst nature. it was always going to end like this, and both her and basira knew it

martin, meanwhile, has reached full potential. which does not mean that he's happy or in a good place. god no. that's the other type of tragedy presented - only being able to reach good things by going through so much pain and simontaneously breaking yourself down. still, martin, who's been so loyal and complicit and really quite passive and naive a lot of the time, rebels. which, yeah, ends badly, but once again, that's sort of the point. also, this is not the first time he's done something like this (see mag 118), but it is certainly the biggest moment of it. and those previous times are important to establish that this is something he can do without it being out of character, which is really important here since it's sort of a twist

really excited for mag 159 and mag 160 now, and also really excited to get a day of rest after that because although i love this section of the show, it really came at the most inconvenient time in my personal life lol

[aliceknowsn0thing]

So, decided to *actually* post on Tumblr instead of just scrolling after confirming it was actually cool. I actually think we should talk about something serious, topic of the moment being why s&m isn't *good* for anyone, for any means.

I mean yeah, I get it, everyone has their turn ons, but the reason people are sadists is because they've been conditioned (usually men btw) that their partners pain will bring them pleasure. For reasonable, but mislead people, it's "well they like being hurt." But for others it's just hurting their partner with no second thoughts. I'm not 100% sure where this started, but honestly we can just look at p0rn and how things are marketed towards men, as well as how women/fems/afabs have been conditioned to feel, think, and act.

[[I only group afabs and fems because it's just a "been in the need to be feminine role" at some point.]]

So in the sense of masochism, led by my last sentence, people are masochists usually because they've been conditioned as such. Seeing roles that are supposed to be you, being hurt, brutalized and objectified during something that's meant to be full of love, and for aromantics something enjoyed by both parties. When sex is introduced as what we usually see, it is not unlikely for many to adhere to this, convincing themselves and finally being attracted to these things. I know this because that is what happened to me, and putting the pieces together, it finally makes sense.

I saw a post about a month ago, probably about two, saying that you could "cute yourself" from masochism. It didn't make sense to me because why would you want to? I had just left a very sexual relationship then, and things such as this topic, *not conversation*, were present. Now that I've left that relationship and am now in a much healthier one, it finally clicked into place. Now when I think of masochism like I had before, I instead question why the hell the person who loves me would want to hurt me in that way for their own pleasure? Why would that be okay? Why was I okay with that? I truly think it takes understanding through experience to be able to actually understand your own thoughts. And research, of course, because having both makes it easier to move on from that part of me.

Anyhow, if you're into s&m, please try to see why, avoid it. And another thing is, lgbtqia+ people and poc are especially sensitive to this as well, women of course, but that's implied. Black women, women of color generally, truly, are more likely to be brutalized at all, let alone by their partner. Through the more extensive way things are shown to people of color, how they are marginalized, makes this so much worse. Then we move to gay men. Gay men, or men who are in a mlm relationship, are at risk if they're a masochist because they are also with a man and could very easily be brutalized in the same way. Perhaps, he could realize how fucked it is, or, like everyone else, think it's normal. Everything is fucked and it's time we fully realized. Nothing is how it seems and these conversations matter.

Before I leave you here, I want to disclaim any mistakes I made, I

1. Am 15

2. Have horrid fucking memory issues

3. Can't understand all people's issues, as I am a white person, but am lgbtqia+

This doesn't exempt me from anything, but please tell me if I've messed up somewhere. I love having these conversations, and want to hear feedback, good/bad, negative/positive, agree/disagree.

#why is the world like this #the problems with relationship dynamics #like Jesus Christ wtf #discussion #feminism #blm

[sunskate]

CPom podcast- This Week in Skating

Anthony had surgery on the talus joint in his right ankle - 6 weeks no weight on the ankle. spent post-surgery in Colorado Springs. It was 10-12 weeks to walk without crutches or a boot. Started with skating 20 min only on two feet for the first week. difficult knowing he could do more but knew itnot benefit him in the long run. They made sure the return to the ice was correct. only finished choreography and were able to do run throughs mid August 2022

Scott and the medical staff kept him in it, motivated him. when things got tough- seeing competitors full on in their prep and season was difficult, but his team helped him, said you're on your own plan, that they had a heavy 2nd half of the season planned, and now is for recovery and getting better. Anthony- Christina was so patient with me. She skated by herself for months. Having everyone around me like that helped me in the long run.

C: trusting the process. went in July to MTL to get choreo-- they were getting starting choreo while everyone else was getting ready for camps. MF said you need to take your time, don't need to skate full out when you're just learning steps. that calmness helped

Set some goals at Champs Camp- it was a distant goal, a distant dream to go to Worlds, almost just like a dream- they were skipping elements at Champs Camp because they weren't ready. and here they are now in Montreal doing run throughs with some of the best in the world now- it's an honor. they took it one competition at a time.

When did you find out you were going to Worlds? After 4CC all the coaches talked and told them to be ready just in case. learned the week HB announced their withdrawal that they were going

They've made a lot of changes in the RD, small ones in the FD. loved not having the pattern - a blessing that they didn't have the compulsary dance because training the pattern usually takes an hour a day, hour and a half-- so with this injury not having to do the drilling, give the effort and time for the season they've had- loved not having the compulsory. usually they really focus on key points- with the choreo step- adds life to the program.

Changed coaches and moved to London-- 13 min

Time for a new environment and new coaches. Made the decision to leave after Nationals in 2021. Spoke a lot with Scott and Patch who told them the transition would be difficult because the approach was very different. It was really hard- last year you saw some growing pains. This year we feel more comfortable, coming into our own, skating better.

Being with a coach so long, it's hard to change everyting- everything we learned was with Igor. New environment, new style was difficult. How well we're doing now is the payment for that- we had to learn, to grow, get comfortable, also the addition of Madi and Adrian was great- put a bow on the new training camp, helped in a big way.

How have they helped you this season- C: Helped so much- I'm so happy to have Madi work with me every day- she's truly the best female skater. Everything from how she handles the partner to the way she skates and presents herself- having her teach me every day is so important and so so helpful. And i don't think we would have had the season we had without her or Adrian

A: they're extremely hard workers- let's say Scott gives them Monday off, and they're in Toronto, they'll come home early and work from home and fill documents and this and that. they're truly embracing this new path of life, they're fully committed, and the energy they bring is just fantastic. I don't think we'd have the results and the programs we have now if it weren't for them

[arcxnumvitae]

Making like the hamburgler and stealing this idea from @thewolfisawake. Since I came to the painful realization that all my fae would qualify as "important to political goings ons" I will probably do this in parts. Oh I signed myself up for this.

Part 1

A cheat sheet for the fae's views on:

Names - On their true names and if they have any other names

Glamor/Nature - Usage of their glamor and what their nature aspect(s) is (are)

Glamored Humans - A hot topic at least in the Seelie but is present within the Unseelie as well

Seelie/Unseelie Specifics - For Seelie this is more about the opening of the Seelie. Or anything that only happened because they are in the Seelie. For the Unseelie this is more about 'reversion,' or losing oneself to their nature. As well as where they are from in the Unseelie. Both also cover any thought about the opposite court.

Other Races and Worlds - If they have any particular thoughts about contact with other beings (usually nonhumans) and getting to know or visiting other worlds

Names - He has no real thoughts or feelings on his true name in particular and he hasn't shared it with anyone. When he woke up as an amnesiac in the mortal plane, he was granted the name "Aur" by Tannim ( one of @thewolfisawake's muses). It's a placeholder name, the Welsh word for gold since Aur A. woke up in Wales and B. I mean, look at his hair. He started going by Camhlaidh again once he regained his memories and returned to Seelie, but those who know him from those days spent working with the Bastion of the Veil may still call him Aur.

Glamor/Nature - He glamoured himself when in the mortal plane, but now is generally fully unglamoured. It's sort of a strategic move on his part since all of his fae features look, as Kirei once put it, 'majestic af', and he's actually sort of trying to create a more imposing, austere, and overall "I'm a powerful king who knows what he's doing please believe me don't I look regal?" impression. Bless his heart.

Glamored Humans - Previously thought nothing of them, but his opinion has since changed since his time spent living among mortals. Funny how interacting with people at length makes you realize that they're complex beings who maybe shouldn't be subjugated cruelly. Weird! Anyways, Aur's first order of business upon taking the crown was outlawing the use of glamoured humans as servants. He's basically been working to enforce that, and also working out logistics for the previously glamoured mortals but I'll put that in its own post.

Seelie/Unseelie Specifics - Haha, opening Seelie. He totally doesn't regret it. Jokes aside, it is something he feels passionate about. Aur is basically that kid who went on a vacation to Europe during his gap year and came back talking about all the ways they do X and Y differently, but less annoying. He thinks Seelie can grow so much from interacting with others, and he ultimately wants the best for his land and his people. Even if opening up Seelie has, ahahahaha, caused more problems than it's solved at the current moment.

Other Races and Worlds - Going to the above point, he would like to create more alliances with other lands. As for how well that's going currently...? Well, he's still learning, and his advisor isn't very helpful. Aur would also like to be able to see more lands but he understands he can't be everywhere at once, and due to how busy he is (and the fact that he's both king and actually can't be away from Seelie for too long), he's accepted he'll have to live vicariously through the ambassadors he sends out. Once he gets around to that.

Names - Fitting on one part, ironic surely on the other. He hasn't shared it with anyone.

Glamor/Nature - Ruaidhri only begrudgingly glamours himself when in the mortal plane, but other than that she remains fully unglamoured. He's absolutely gorgeous, why would he cover that up?

Glamored Humans - He has no thoughts on them. After all, he's had his fair share of fun toying with silly little mortals and glamouring them in the past too.

Seelie/Unseelie Specifics - Also very little thoughts on Seelie opening, other than wondering why on earth Camhlaidh would put such a big, annoying headache like that on his plate. He'd think not to fix something if it wasn't broken, and everything worked just fine previously with Seelie keeping to itself. But it's whatever, so long as Camhlaidh doesn't keep giving him work to do because of it. He has no thoughts on the Unseelie, other than the fact that their ruler and his generals are absolutely gorgeous.

Other Races and Worlds - Nnnnnnope, yeah, no thoughts. He also doesn't particularly care about other beings, although he does have the Seelie-bred bit of revulsion to vampires, demons, and any undead or "unnatural" or "against nature" beings.

Names - Loves her true name. Loves it in conjunction with the meaning of her given name too. She hasn't shared her true name with anyone.

Glamor/Nature - It is only because her parents, greatly stressed, impressed upon her when she was younger that mortals will freak out and try to kill her if they see her unglamoured that she even bothers. Even then, she still forgets every now and then and has absolutely started plenty a local legend and ghost story. Creepypasta too. She's always fully unglamoured when in Seelie.

Glamored Humans - Also no thoughts. They blend into the background for her since she finds them pretty boring. She's played pranks on them a time or two, but it's not as amusing when the subject of your prank doesn't even realize that they've been pranked.

Seelie/Unseelie Specifics - 'Why does Camhlaidh hate himself?' But seriously, she'll give him props at least because the old guard among the gentry can be real nuisances who love keeping the status quo, and Seelie being left to its own devices was a real big status quo. She had no thoughts about Seelie opening, that was, until she realized she could get into more mischief with more interactions between nations happening.

Other Races and Worlds - Eilidh is oddly among one of the few fae that doesn't have an issue with vampires, demons, etc. like most other fae. A lot of people chalked that up as just another one of her eccentricities, which is true I guess. She likewise hadn't thought anything of traveling abroad or meeting other beings......until she realized the mischief she could get into with that.

[tremendouskoalachild]

list of everything i didn't like about avatar: the way of water

(sorry avatar head mutuals, love you guys but i have very little positive to say about it)

(this is just me venting because i have Thoughts in my head and nobody i know irl has seen it. i wanna enter the new year with a cleansed mind i guess)

(for context i saw it because i had an opportunity to see it for free and went, fuck it. i am not a fan of the first film and haven't seen it since 2010. i also do not vibe with james cameron movies in general)

ruins the any day now meme by actually coming out :(

is an hour longer than it needs to be and two hours longer than it should be. i get that it's about the experience and all but pretty blue people admiring majestic creatures does, in fact, get old eventually

james cameron can't help himself i guess. the amount of underwater exploration scenes is borderline masturbatory, not to mention the whole finale taking place on a sinking ship

please tell me they didn't use the actual papyrus font for the subtitles. idk how noticeable it is in the original but watching the film subtitled is painful until you get desensitized to it

colonialism is apparently not enough to make us root against the humans. no we gotta show them gleefully murder a space whale momma (who composes music 🥺🥺) and her baby

the fact that the destruction of nature is treated as more heinous than the attempted genocide of the na'vi (who are pretty transparently stand ins for native americans) is to be expected from the franchise... i still hate it though.

bad guy lady disappears like midway through. and i had such high hopes for her after she was shown using her mech suit arm to drink coffee. slay queen

for such a ruthless piece of shit (affectionate) the main bad guy doesn't know what to do with a hostage. buddy you could have ended the fight like four separate times. you even had redundancy because they always manage to capture several kids at once 😭

the character accused by every video essayist alive of being a white savior wears dreadlocks now. idk kinda tone deaf if you ask me

the decision to just have the Na'vi speak english is cowardly as fuck. didn't you guys make a fully functional conlang for the first movie??

it also makes it more difficlut to tell what language is being spoken in various scenes. literally what is going on and who understands whom

neytiri was done dirty. barely present most of the film and underdeveloped.

even though the original movie apparently fucked over the hired composers i can't deny that its music fucked. can't remember a single melody from the sequel though

main villain being able to commune with nature without any self-reflection sucks ass. you could say he just subdued the flying thing through it comes back later and is apparently loyal so what was that

the spider situation is really weird. his adopted family don't really seem to care about his abduction much (was jake sully being more literal than i realized when he called spider basically the family's stray cat?? idk neytiri sure doesn't seem to give a fuck about him). the weirder thing though is how he is not restrained or even really supervised while captured despite being open about his loyalties

not to out myself as a space racist but i couldn't tell the two brothers apart until like halfway through at which point one got a lot more spotlight and it became clear the other was done for. rip son number 2 i literally don't remember your name

does this decanonize the avatar theme park 🥺 (this is a joke. all i know about the park is from that one jenny nicholson video and the lore does not seem all that good)

the love interest girl's character is said like once or twice in the whole movie. i was listening for it since i was crushing on her (because neytiri is barely in the movie)

there are multiple instances of a boat being thrown into the air and none of them look real

i swear they say "four fingers" when they mean five at some point. yeah i'm reaching here

the plot is paper thin and so many of the situations are incredibly basic

[udunie]

Omega Stiles where once an Omega is mated, they're property of whoever mates them. And Alpha Peter seduces Stiles and Stiles thinks he's a good man so he lets Peter mate him. Only for the next day Peter to take him to the hospital for a laundry list of modifications. All done while Stiles is conscious but paralyzed, of course. Everything from docking his cock to a permanent urethral plug to getting his arms and legs cut off? Maybe some super painful fertility tests? (1/?)

Like maybe they stick needles into his cervix to loosen him up to "make sure" he'll be a good breeder. Have Peter stick his fingers into Stiles' cervix. Talk about flooding his womb with doggy come because Peter shouldn't waste his Good Alpha Seed on something that might not even be able to carry to term. Getting his tongue cut out because good bitches don't talk back. Subcutaneous implant to release hormones to keep him in a 24/7 heat. (2/3)

Not only do they dock his penis but also they use huge catheters on it so Peter can stick a finger up it. It's a useless little thing anyways. And without any limbs, it doesn't matter if he can't hold his piss by himself - that's what the urethra plug is for. Peter doesn't take Stiles' balls, but they are pumped full of saline until they're huge, swollen targets. Then Peter (and the doctors) use them as stress balls. (3/3)

Ooooh okay, there are a lot of things I love about this!

calling it docking? Absolutely brilliant!!!! I mean, that would be such a lovely, humiliating detail in an AU where omegas are given a penectomy when they present, ya know?? In the mind of society, it's just like docking a dog's tail/ears - some claim it's mostly aesthetic, some say it's important for an omega's job (they don't get distracted so easily by pesky little things like their own pleasure) but everyone agrees it should be done as soon as possible lol

I adore extensive medical testing (especially of sexual capacity/fertility) And one of my new obsessions is stiles (or whoever) being pretty much fully aware - though under local anesthesia - during serious medical procedures. I can just seeeeee Stiles laying there with a little courtesy curtain drawn or something so he doesn't actually see what they are doing. Of course Peter would be sitting beside him and narrating every fucking thing. ("Oh, did you feel that crack, darling? They just broke your pelvis! Oh, don't be so fussy, they will reset it so you will have wider hips for child bearing!")

I'm not that much a fan of amputation or cutting out the tongue in an omega breeder au, cause I imagine omegas would be expected to take care of any children they produce to at least some capacity, and well. I think oral wouldn't be that enjoyable if he didn't have a pretty pink tongue to pillow that fat cock on...

[van-zieksy]

Hello van zieksy how are you? Iťs me your dear Reaper-san anon. Do you still remember me? I am sorry that this letter is not going to try to be written in more traditional manner than those better but recently tragedy befallen my household. My dearest companion, my first ever dog Ben died. He was old and one accident was his sudden downfall. I hope I am not bothering you but if you feel up to it I’d really like to hear how would Lord van Zieks comfort his dearest friend or lover if they lost a pet. I know it’s selfish request of mine but it’d make me feel slightly better. As they say time will heal all wound and surely the second dog we recently bought a week before this tragedy is gonna make me and my family happier. I wish you a wonderful day and lots if love because this life is short and now I understand we need to cherish it to the fullest with ones we love.

Yours dearest devoted follower

Reaper-san

Hello Reaper-san!

Of course I remember you. I was actually thinking how you were doing the other day. <3

You have my deepest condolences for losing your treasured friend Ben. I am sure he was a lovely dog, going by his owner. :) Losing a loved one is always challenging and makes us question what life is really about, what actually matters. "[...]because this life is short and now I understand we need to cherish it to the fullest with ones we love." I fully agree with that sentiment. I can relate to what you're going through as I've been there before; I think most of us have.

Even with Ben gone, there is something that will always remain with you: the beautiful memories of him. One thing I've realised in life is that (positive) memories are one of the most invaluable aspects of life. As I grow older, I often find myself thinking about past experiences as well as lost loved ones. They may be the past, but they have become a natural part of daily life and hence live on forever. They shape us. No one can ever take that away from us. Ben may no longer be around physically, yet he will forever live on in your memories and your heart.

I think Barok would be of a similar mindset. All his obligations suddenly become secondary to being there for his grieving loved one. Because the pet was a vital aspect of his loved one's life, in extension, it became a part of his life as well. Barok is very much familiar with loss and grief, as he has lost so much, which motivates him to offer words of understanding and time to his loved one.

After having physically and emotionally supported his loved one during the first few days after losing their pet, which are undeniably the hardest to get through, he suggests his loved one write down the most precious memories with their pet, if possible also create a small photo album with their favourite photos. If his loved one is an avid writer, he recommends for them to write a poem or a story that focuses on their time together. I'm sure the pet had a favourite toy. He offers to hold onto this toy and put it in a small, beautiful box with the rest of the memorabilia. That way his loved one is not constantly reminded of their loss, but has the option to pull out the box to look at the things in it and reminisce about what once was.

We (as humans) may have a few pets during our lifetime because we can grow quite old, but each one of our pets spent their whole life with us. That's significant. Barok reminds his loved one that their pet was able to live a long, happy life, thanks to their wonderful owner.

We can't reverse time or change the past, and maybe we shouldn't, but we can ensure that our experiences become a treasured part of our present. It's up to us to decide if and how we want lost loved ones to remain a part of our lives. I am sure Ben had a good life thanks to you, as I can sense that you're a lovely person. Take comfort in that. As time passes on, so does the initial pain. The memories stop hurting. Rather, they become a beautiful reminder of a most precious time together that no one will ever take away from you.

You're in my thoughts. All the best to you your family, and your new companion. <3

Yours truly,

Zieksy

[tetrisfinished]

i want to write, but i don't want to write, but i really want to write.

that's my headspace right now - not sure what level of word vomit is about to come out. consider this a fair warning.

so i guess let's start with that - yasir's gone to pakistan for a few months! so i'm flying solo as far as parenting goes these days. he left last saturday (today marks exactly one week) and will return at the end of january.

i gotta say, it's actually been really great!

i have the capacity and i'm capable of doing all the tasks i need to have done on a daily basis and it's really really FUN to "play house" for real actually. even the accomplishment or happiness of taking out the trash.

it's been peaceful and nice, minus esa's tantrums but all within reason.

the thing that has SUCKED though is watching esa search for his baba on a daily basis many times a day.

today the doorbell rang and esa said "it must be baba".

last night he came into my room and the comforter was squished up to one side and he thought it was yasir sleeping under there.

the first monday and tuesday he came home from daycare, came in the door and yelled "babaaaa"

today he made like 3 pieces of art works and came and showed every single one to me and told me "this is for dad". and i said i love it baby, and baba will love it too.

at the third one, he said "i know baba is in pakistan".

it's so weird to feel truly truly empathetic for someone. i am an empathetic person, but it is so weird to have absolutely no freaking idea what sort of pain esa must be feeling while at the same time feel the same exact soul crushing pain that he must be feeling.

it takes my breath away a little every single time.

my kid is in a pain i cannot relate to, and yet i can feel his pain in my being. i can see the momentary hope and happiness fly away from his eyes when the thing he thought was his baba is actually not his baba.

leading up to when yasir left, we had a lot of fights between us. and on the last day i guess they sort of dissipated and while he was in the plane, i asked him to forgive me for the grief i gave him. and he asked me to forgive him for the two hard months.

it's not hard. and if it is, i forgive yasir in an instant. i can handle my kid being a kid. i can handle whatever tantrum, lack of sleep, diva behaviour he will throw my way.

there is nothing to forgive in my brain for any of that stuff because i'm parenting and i want to do it. it's tough and hard and i would love a break here and there, but i'm okay and i'm handling it.

but i don't know that i'll ever be able to forgive seeing esa so sad for two months straight. i won't ever want to forgive it, and i won't likely forget it anytime soon. or ever.

and these moments will stew in my brain until they fully tenderize and i start to protect esa from his own father.

even now, i have half a mind to cut off calling yasir cold turkey so that i can shield esa from later pain and just get him used to yasir not being physically around.

because frankly even when he's physically present, what good is it when he is never mentally present. having a physically present parent be absorbed in his device 24/7 is not much better than having a physically absent parent.

but i won't do that. i will continue to receive his calls and call him when esa wants to speak with him. i'm just praying and hoping to GOD that yasir realizes what he's done. and how he's making his own child feel.

and that's all i want to say on that.

good night.

-k

[one-abuse-survivor]

tw verbal abuse & possible neglect mention

i think my dad was verbally abusive to me and both of my parents were like, kinda neglectful towards me in some ways. and honestly, its not happening so much anymore, mostly bc i stopped talking to both of my parents for the most part and i go to therapy as well so my dad is scared to talk to me (bc he's uncomfortable that i go to therapy) and my mom talks to me but only a little (bc she thinks its her fault i 'have to' go to therapy).

but even though the neglect and verbal abuse isn't going on so much anymore, i still have to live with them (bc im severely disabled) and it just still hurts. like i don't know how to STOP the hurting. especially now that i can actually think 'yeah that was probably abusive yeah that was probably neglect' it HURTS, it fucking tears me up inside. like how could you do that, why would you do that. and technically, my mom didn't abuse me, i think she neglected me some, but i also think some of that was out of her control. but i also dont think i can forgive her for standing by while my dad was verbally abusing me-like she would be right there, mostly just ignoring it bc while she thought it was rude, she didn't think he was wrong and she didn't want to argue with him, so she would just let him tear me down. and neither of them apologized or anything, they just mostly dont talk to me anymore.

i just. it hurts. i don't know how to make it stop hurting and i hate it. i hate that i have to deal with this when its not even my FAULT, like i didn't ask for them to do this to me. they didn't apologize, they don't even really think they were wrong but im the only one going to therapy and the only one considered broken and im supposed to forgive and forget but i just hurt all the time and no one gives af. im sorry for ranting, i just so tired. i wondered if you have any advice for working on NOT hurting so much, on healing after being hurt by your parents even if they aren't apologizing or anything?

I'm Jax btw.

Hey, Jax!

I'm glad to hear you're going to therapy. This situation sounds really complicated and really unfair to you. You're right, none of this is your fault, and it sucks that you're the one who has to deal with all of this hurt now when they were the ones who hurt you. I'm glad you could express some of that hurt here, at least.

I'm not sure I have any useful advice, because I've been privileged enough to be able to unpack my trauma away from my abuser. I'm not sure I would've been able to work through my pain while still sharing a roof with her.

What I can say is that, while I think it's a good idea to look for ways to help you process your hurt so it becomes less painful, I really hope you know that you shouldn't be expected to "forgive and forget" and just be fine. You're still actively living with the people who abused and neglected you, and they continue to deny it ever happened. They haven't apologised for hurting you and they're not trying to be better. So, please, don't beat yourself up for continuing to show and feel signs of trauma. It's okay to not be able to fully heal—and it would be really unfair to expect you to, given your circumstances.

All that being said, I can list some exercises that have helped me personally process and overcome some of my hurt, in case they might be helpful:

Writing down a list of all the separate emotions I feel when I'm feeling hurt (anger, sadness, fear, hatred, disgust...) and then writing down in a paragraph what each separate emotion is saying in my head, in order to give it a voice and the space to exist. (After doing this a couple of times, my therapist suggested adding one last voice called "self-care" and writing down what such a voice would say if it was present in my head, and it helped).

Assigning each of my emotions a colour and painting abstract colour blobs, pouring out all the different emotions (and the ways they intertwine) on the paper.

Writing fictional stories that explore trauma and recovery in-depth.

Reclaiming the "abuse survivor" label and talking openly about my trauma (with people's consent, without trauma-dumping).

My new therapist is also going to guide me through an exercise on processing anger on our next session, so I might share my experience with that eventually, if I find it useful. Maybe it can help others! Especially if you already have a therapist you can suggest this exercise to.

Does anyone have any other advice for Jax?

Take care ❤️