#Source: myself

[percabethconvos]

Annabeth IM-ing Thalia: Yeah I'm probably going to be a little late

Thalia: Why?

Annabeth: Percy and I were cuddling and he fell asleep on me

Thalia: So move him?

Annabeth: Absolutely not.

[bambinafangirls]

spencer: are you ok?

emily, sighing: last night i dreamt i was scissoring a coworker and now i don’t know if i can look her in the face

jj: hey guys!

emily, looking away: hi jj!

[mirrorcatcreditcard]

Ivan, pining for Till: I struggle with same sex attraction.

Till, oblivious and trying to help: Oh really? I'm quite good at it. Tell me if you need any help. I can give you a personal demonstration.

Ivan, internally: Dear lord, save me from my sinful thoughts...

[teenwolf-incorrectquotes]

Stiles: It's suck session Sunday! Scott: Oh, cool, I didn't know you watched Succession! Stiles: What are you talking about? I mean I'm going over to Derek's place tonight.

[leihaddock]

Trans Steve Rogers who wears ridiculously tight clothes because he’s finally in a body he can call home >>>>

[eterniravioli]

how to be happy as a max verstappen fan:

delete twitter

listen to f1tv commentators instead of sky sports

embrace your inner hater

[mythicalmagical-monkeyman]

Peng: Looks like the coward has come to die!

Macaque: I know, but don’t you think it seems kind of counterintuitive to call yourself a coward?

Peng: *Stutters in frustration* 

Macaque: *grinning like a maniac*

[sleepingin-cemeteries]

Jujutsu Kaisen as things my friends have said

nobara: “lesbian are cool”. just the one. it’s me.

~~~~

nobara: let’s play charades. i’m an animal *giraffe motions*

yuuji: elephant

~~~~

maki: i feel targetted

nobara: but you have nice boobs. i like your boobs

~~~~

megumi: teachers don’t get first names. they gave up that right when they decided to get a teaching degree

~~~~

yuuji: atheist. isn’t that spelled like athletes?

~~~~

gojo, after meeting megumi: i am being slut shamed by a four year old child

~~~~

yuuji: is there an among us kanji??

~~~~

yaga: hey, i’m not gonna have any male slut shaming...even if gojo is one

~~~~

yuki tsukumo: full time bisexual, part time lesbian

~~~~

shoko: liquor? i hardly know her

~~~~

yuuji: what does school stand for? suicide cool however under oath lame

~~~~

gojo: get yassified shitass

~~~~

gojo: 1 prop z interval to determine the hotness of presidents

~~~~

nobara: he looks so deeply sad it makes you want to fuck him more. keep in mind i’m a lesbian

~~~~

gojo: i’m descended from-

megumi: clowns

~~~~

yuuji: why would i take a photo of her boobs?

nobara: idk emotional support??

~~~~

yuuji: just deep fry things. don’t be a pussy, be an american

~~~~

megumi: i’m gonna be a hero amoungst the crunchy parents except i’ll be vaccinated

~~~~

gojo: some people use drugs. i use shamrock shakes

~~~~

nobara: it’s weird to hear people talk about being oppressed when they look like they’d call me a slur

~~~~

megumi: you’re not whipping, you’re just hitting me

~~~~

yuuji: my favorite drug: diet cocaine

nobara: now with less drugs

~~~~

gojo: you can’t be a whore if you’re dead

~~~~

yuuji, holding up a pair of sparkly red booty shorts: what are these?

gojo: my weekend plans

~~~~

yuuji: ieiri-sensei has suggested we eat actual food

megumi: excuse you...this *gestures to a bag of takis* has a lime on it

~~~~

gojo: we have new rules about abandonment bc i have issues

~~~~

megumi: who’s that guy sitting next to yoda? do i know him from somewhere?

yuuji: ........that’s samuel l jackson

~~~~

nobara: motherfucker, you can’t be gru when you’re the size of kevin

~~~~

nobara: i’d drown you inthe ocean’s water if i wasn’t so afraid of it

~~~~

bonus quote: spoiler for jujutsu kaisen. eren jeager got his hand chopped off

[nolongeronlyhereforthewhispangle]

Tangle: Hey Lanny, you have a crush on Barry or something? Lanolin, obviously flustered: Um... no… why do you, uh…, ask? Tangle: Your reaction to that question is exactly why I asked.

[nocontextrankinbass]

[percabethconvos]

Percy: There's a fine line between genius and insanity and Annabeth likes to jump rope with it

[bambinafangirls]

penelope: luke’s homosexual, actually!

luke, confused: i’m literally puerto rican?!??

[kupofdoodles]

how to tell if a writer loves a character

1. they giv the character lots of headcanons

2. they project onto the character a lot

3. they give character a f💥k ton of angst

[oldmanyaoi-jpeg]

youtube was a game changer for kids with undiagnosed autism and unrestricted internet access in the 2000s

[blueohs]

Jisung: drunk words are sober thoughts

Chan: you literally yelled "IDENTITY THEFT IS A CRIME, I KNOW YOU'RE AN IMPOSTOR" at our kitchen sponge yesterday because it's round and you thought it was trying to copy SpongeBob SquarePants...

Chan: if these are your everyday thoughts, I'd be a little worried...

[stumbleinethevampirequeen]

I work in a movie theater. Don't go to movie theaters.

fucking bonkers to me that people watch movies in theaters. you can't control the volume. you can't rewind when you miss something. you can't choose your own subtitles. you can't even pause to use the bathroom??? there's only like 7 movies to choose from????? and you must pay money for this privilege? grotesque. repugnance. act of torture.