#Stupid colonizer boy

[myhetaliaask]

he makes me so mentally ill

I can't stop drawing him 😭😭😭

UGH! THIS DRAWING, TOOK 7 FUCKING HOURS! I SPENT 7 HOURS FOR THIS LOSER WHY DO I LOVE HIM I WANNA STRANGLE HIM

[sluttylittlenewsboy]

[faggotry-enjoyer]

oh i'm definitely gonna lose some friends for this one huh

[evita-shelby]

Cuddling

Tommy shelby x wife!reader.

A continuation to Happy wife, Happy life

For context, reader is Irish and pro-irish freedom, so her criticism of grace for being a pro-english irishwoman (born from british citizens sent to colonize ireland) is perfectly valid

Tommy gets comfortable with you, cuddling with you after a long day trying to outwit the pigs and Kimber.

Once he is satisfied with every little thing that makes for great sleep in your arms, you bring up that thing from days ago when he came so drunk he forgot you were his wife.

“So the new barmaid, huh?” you continue to hold him even as he stills in panic.

“Who told you?” He asks thinking Polly or Lizzie had run to your with the gossip of the blonde twat trying to seduce your husband.

“You did, sweetie.” You answer. “You thought I was her and like the good boy you are, you rejected her saying you had a wife.”

Grace Burgess wasn’t deterred by that, but then again her folks do that. Else her English family wouldn’t be in Ireland killing those who want their country back.

If she hadn’t been so stupid as to show up with her real name, you wouldn’t have discovered the truth so easily.

One letter home and now you knew what sort of snake had invaded your garden.

“Is that why you’ve been asking around about her to your family back home?” he connects the dots like the brilliant man he is and sound impressed by how good your instincts still are.

“Had a hunch, especially after the IRA man was found dead by her block and the coppers covered it up.” You answer and wait for him to come to the right conclusion.

The way men think with their cocks never stopped annoying her, especially with how idiotic all were in accepting the broad into their lives because she was pretty and boring. Had Tommy not married a woman with a good head on her shoulders he’d been taken for a ride.

“Campbell sent her then. Assumed he’d be sending a man to do it. Suppose Arthur will have to fire her tomorrow and we’ll have to make sure she never comes back.” Even like this his mind is racing to think up a good strategy.

“You can leave that to me, sweetheart.” You say with a wicked smile.

Grace will wish you’d killed her when you’re done with her.

[seeingivy]

lovesick

actor!eren x reader

**part of my method acting series

an: come get yall juice

songs mentioned: lovesick by laufey!

previous part linked here

--

Ten minutes later and you’re all standing outside the house, as the blaring fire truck pulls up to the curb. And you give everyone an awkward sheepish smile, as you all shiver in the cold November night, as the firefighters march into the house. 

It seems that in your efforts to be…..symbolic, you accidentally set the fire alarm off. 

Which has the group of you outside, freezing in the November cold, as you wait for them to exit the house and safely turn the alarm off. 

“Right. So what exactly were you doing, Y/N?” Levi seethes, irritatedly rubbing his biceps in the cold of the night. He’s heroically given up his jacket for Hange, whose currently teasing Sasha and Niccolo about something. 

“Why do you think its me?” you respond. 

“It came from that room. And I know damn well Colt and Porco aren’t stupid enough to do something like that.” Levi responds. 

“Hey. Porco is plenty stupid.” 

“I heard that.” Porco grumbles. 

You shoot him a smile, as he walks over with Colt and the two of them reach forward to shove you. You shove back, the three of you laughing into the night as Levi grumbles some more about firefighters and the bills and walks away. 

“Colt. I’m cold.” you murmur. 

“Okay. Why don’t you go ahead and start another fire to generate some warmth?” Colt responds, glaring. 

“Or you could just be a good big brother and give me your jacket?” you respond, giving him a big smile. 

“Absolutely not, twerp. You literally set my room, that you are not welcome in, on fire.” Colt states. 

“Where else am I supposed to sleep? Do you want me to cuddle up with Eren?” 

Colt glares, before shoving you and responding. 

“Share with Mikasa. Stop being a little baby bitch about the maid of honor thing.” 

“I’m not being a baby bitch!” you respond. 

“You kind of are, love.” Porco responds. 

“You keep your stupid British butt out of this, innit love. I just don’t want to make her uncomfortable. She wants to room with her fiance and I’m going to let her.” you respond, mimicking Porco’s British accent. 

“Oh yeah. That’s why the two of you keep giving each other wistful, longing looks whenever you’re around each other. You’d think it was the two of you getting married.” Colt spits back, his breath materializing in the cold air. 

Colt aggressively rattles your head one last time before moving to where Gabi and Falco were standing as Porco makes a gesture to take his jacket off. Which has you yanking him by the ear and fervently whispering in his ear. 

“Are you fucking stupid?” you whisper. 

“Eh?” Porco responds. 

“If you are trying to romance Pieck, why are you giving me your jacket?” 

“You were just bitching about how you were cold.” Porco deadpans. 

“Well, go find out if she’s bitching about being cold. And give her your jacket. Must I do everything for you?” you respond, pinching his ear harder. 

Porco, you are quick to find out, has the same romantic capabilities as a valencia orange. Which means that in all the time you’ve spent freeloading in their room, Porco has enlisted your help in romancing Pieck, who has caught his eye. 

Porco rolls his eyes as he walks over, and you shoot him a satisfied smile when Pieck wraps his jacket around her cold arms, particularly pink in the cheeks as the two of them talk in the cold. 

Eren, Connie, Jean, and Mikasa, however, are not aware of this. Which has the four of them, particularly Eren, groaning from ten feet away at the sight of the two of you together, giving each other warm smiles in the cold. 

“Imagine losing the love of your life to a British guy. Twice.” Connie states. 

“Shut up.” Eren grumbles, shoving him in the side. 

“First he colonizes your country and then your girlfriend?” Jean asks. 

“She’s not my girlfriend, need I remind you.” Eren responds, glaring. 

“Just when we thought Y/N was done with London Boys…” Connie adds, earning an angry shove from both Eren and Mikasa. 

“The British are coming, Eren! The British are coming!” Jean screams, saluting Miksasa and Eren. 

“He’s not from London, dumbass.” Mikasa responds. 

“Her kid’s first word is going to be bruv…” Connie adds, putting on the thickest accent he can muster. 

“They’re not having kids!” Eren groans. 

“You guys are so mean! Leave Eren alone, you know how much it must hurt him to see something like that. Especially when he’s been so lonely and-” 

“Wow. Thank you, Mikasa. Your defense of me is so moving.” Eren states. 

Eren rolls his eyes, as the group of them snicker at his response, and they all immediately wrap their arms around him. A common habit the three of them have, knowing damn well that Eren’s mind is the worst place to be at times, and that sometimes their presence and stupid jokes is enough to put a damper on that internal monologue that plagues Eren constantly. 

“Go fight for your girl, Eren. She doesn’t even know what you did for her.” Mikasa states. 

“Correction. What I tried to do for her. And you go fight for your best friend. Who should be your maid of honor instead of that rodeo clown, Amy, by the way.” 

“Hey.” Mikasa states, glaring at him. 

“I swear to god, my feet have bruises from when we practiced walking down the aisle. I’m going to be in a wheelchair by the time we make it to the wedding, Mika.” 

“You’re just saying that because you want Y/N to be walking down with you instead of Amy.” Mikasa counters.

“Well, yes. Obviously. But even besides that, do you really want Amy to be at your side during your wedding, Mikasa? Y/N is your best friend. Mind you, this wedding wouldn’t even be happening without me and her. We’re the only reason you guys got to have all those sleepovers back in the day.” 

“You’re full of shit, Eren. You’re acting like you didn’t benefit from those sleepovers either.” Jean counters. 

“No one had a sleepover with me. Which is just fucking rude in my opinion.” Connie adds, rather unhelpfully. 

Eren frowns, as he looks over at you. Your head is angled up, staring at the stars littered across the sky and the tiniest crescent moon shining down on all of you. Eren swallows hard, trying his best to aid you in your efforts to make amends. 

“I’m just saying, Mikasa. This is your wedding. You only get married once ….do you really not want her to be a part of it?” Eren asks. 

Eren watches Mikasa, at the wistful look on her face, as she watches you stand there alone, crunching the rocks under your feet as you hop in the cold of the night. Eren gives Mikasa one last pointed glare before walking over and standing at your side. 

“Hi Margaret.” 

“Hi Bruce.” you respond. 

“Did you pick up arson as a hobby in your free time?” he asks. 

“Of course! Arson is good for the environment. I’m very passionate about climate change.” you respond, earning a laugh from him. 

“How so?” 

“Fires stimulate new growth. Recycles nutrients in the ground, clears the forest floors of debris, and opens it up to sunlight.” you murmur. 

“Oh, yeah. Porco’s carpet is really flourishing right now.” Eren responds. 

“Exactly! You get me.” you respond, as the two of you laugh into the night. 

Eren’s quick to take his own jacket off, wrapping it around your shoulders, as you give him a glare. 

“Just when I think you’ve reached the peaks of your cornniness, you always seem to astound me, Eren Jaeger.” 

“What can I say? I’m an overachiever, princess.” Eren responds, pinching the softness of your cheek. 

The two of you laugh as you both smile at each other, in the chill of the night. He’s about to speak, but on cue, the firefighters walk out of the house and you both get distracted, running to huddle back into the house. Levi murmurs something about hot chocolate, which has the group of you jumping in excitement, as you all settle into the kitchen and the dining table. 

And as always, Falco is scribbling some mess in his notebook, something you’ve found him doing almost everyday this week. You slide into the seat across from him and Niccolo, giving Gabi a polite smile at your side, as you look up at him. 

“Hi Coco.” 

“Hi Y/N.” 

“What are you up to?” you ask. 

Like a deer caught in headlights, Falco immediately slams the book shut and gives Gabi and Niccolo painstaking glares before awkwardly laughing.

“Nothing! Drawing!” Falco rambles. 

“Are you doing nothing or are you drawing?” you ask. 

“Nothing. I’m doing nothing.” he responds. 

You give Gabi and Niccolo a pointed glare. 

“You would tell me if he was writing my name a hundred times in the Death Note, right?” 

Gabi and Niccolo laugh, as Gabi and Falco immediately run off for their hot chocolate and you move to Niccolo’s side. The group of them join you with their steaming cups of hot chocolate and you shoot Connie a grateful smile when he sets one down in front of you. 

“He really isn’t plotting my death, is he?” you ask Niccolo. 

“No. No. Don’t be silly, Y/N.” he responds. 

You sigh, wrapping your fingers around the warm mug. 

“I know. I just haven’t…fought with him like this before. It’s weird to have an awkward air to us.” you respond. 

“You haven’t fought with Falco, ever. You guys both fight with me.” Colt corrects. 

“Well, you’re annoying, Colt.” you respond. 

You turn back to Niccolo, gesturing for him to give you an explanation. 

“Falco’s trying to impress you, Y/N.” Niccolo states. 

“Huh?” 

“He’s writing a song. Trying to prove to you that he should be here.” he states. 

You deflate. You never meant to make Falco feel like you thought he was untalented. That he didn’t deserve to be here. 

“Is the song good? Please tell me he’s a songbird and less of a…falcon.” Connie responds. 

“You’re not as funny as you think you are, Connie.” Mikasa deadpans, rolling her eyes. 

“Oh, it’s great. I can tell he has a lot of promise, this is the type of stuff we get in demos at the label.” Niccolo responds. 

“Label?” you ask. 

“I worked with a label for a while back as a producer. I kind of decided it wasn’t my thing a while ago and went into acting.” Niccolo states. 

“Would you happen to know anything about like…making deals regarding albums and stuff?” you ask. 

“Yeah. Why do you ask?” 

The smallest spark of hope flares in you. 

“I have a dilemma. I was wondering if you could shed some light on it for me?” you ask. 

“Sure. What’s up?” Niccolo asks. 

Eren and Connie give each other a look. 

“When I signed on with Danny and Sareen, I promised the label four albums. The thing is, I…kind of fired them before I got to the fourth one and then released that one independently.” 

“You fired them?” Gabi asks, eyes wide. 

“Yeah. They…they weren’t great. Anyways, they’re kind of claiming that they have ownership under the fourth album and that it’s in violation of my contract with them to have released something before the contract was up. So all of the royalties for streaming the songs goes to them but since I’m not technically an employee of the label anymore they…..they don’t pay me a cent of the money.” 

The group of them go silent, eyes wide as they stare back at you. You note that Levi and Hange’s ears perk up from where they’re standing too, five feet away in the kitchen with the mugs. 

“Which album is this, Y/N?” Annie asks. 

“The Lucky One.” 

“What?” Annie states. 

The group of them break out into their own chatter, Connie and Eren being noticeably silent in the mix. Annie and Armin are going on about how ridiculous it is, Porco making it a point to note that it’s your most streamed albums, that the money must be somewhere in the millions as you give them all a polite smile. 

“Is there anything I can do, Nico?” you ask. 

Niccolo sighs. 

“I don’t know many people who have been successful with this type of thing. But I’ll see what I can find out for you, okay? We’ll think of something.” Niccolo responds, his mouth upturned as he frowns at you. 

“Okay. Thanks Nico, I-I was just wondering. I’m not holding my breath about it or anything.” you respond. 

The group of them shuffle back into their own individual conversations, as Mikasa takes the empty seat at your side.

“Hey.” 

“I’m sorry you don’t get any of the money for the Lucky One, Y/N. It’s a really great album.” 

“Thank you, Mikasa. Really.” you respond, squeezing her hands in yours. 

You both lift your mugs, the silence enveloping the two of you as you try to think of the words. 

To make amends. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t come to your engagement party.” you respond. 

“Oh- that’s-” 

“Can I…can I explain?” you ask. 

Mikasa nods. 

“I found out that I didn’t own the album anymore the day before the party. And I had every intention of coming actually, I had packed the bags and bought a dress and booked a plane ticket but…” 

You sigh. 

“My music is the one thing that I owned. If there was any merit to me, if people called me fake and a slut and everything in between, there was….little they could say about the music. It was mine. I wrote it, I put my heart and soul into it just to…” you ramble. 

“I can imagine, Y/N.” Mikasa responds, softly. 

“It’s….it took so much out of me to make all four of those albums. And it’s not that I’m not proud of them but they were the reason it was so hard. To think that they still make money off of me, after everything they did is…” 

“A good reason not to come to an engagement party.” Mikasa finishes.

“I should have been there still. Or at least told you. About everything that happened and I’m really sorry about that but-” 

Mikasa sets her mug down at the table and immediately wraps her arms around you, her hands soft in your hairs as you deflate into your shoulder. When you look up, Connie, Jean, and Eren are smiling at the two of you and you make it a point to glare at them. Connie mouths something that looks an awful lot like “maid of honor” which has you rolling your eyes.  

When you all shuffle back into your rooms, Mikasa gives you a tight hug before you go to bed. And you relish in what you can get. 

--

“Your head is going to explode if you think any harder.” Levi states, crossing his legs as he sits beside you on the floor. 

You sigh, hiking your knees to your chest. You watch Falco and Kaya run around the set, playing with the extra ODM gear lying around the set. He’s laughing hard, excitedly panting as he runs along the perimeter of the room. 

“Talk.” Levi states. 

“Am I a cavewoman, Levi?” you mutter. 

“Evidently.” Levi responds. 

You sigh. 

“I’m just wondering how we’re going to protect Falco, Gabi, and Kaya from all this stuff.” you murmur. 

Levi meets your line of vision, watching the three of them now running around. And you and Levi rise to have the same conversation you had months ago, though relatively calmer this time around. 

“I understand why you want to, but you have to let go of that, Y/N.” Levi responds. 

“Why? He’s my brother, Levi. And Gabi and Kaya are so sweet, they’re so…full of life. I’d hate to see that ripped from them just because people are horrible.” you murmur. 

“Did you listen when I warned you, Y/N? Did Eren?” he asks. 

You rest your chin against the tops of your knees, as you hug your knees closer to your chest. 

“Levi…” 

“There are some lessons you have to learn on your own. You can’t learn their lessons for them. All you can do is be there to catch them if they fall.” Levi responds. 

You lean your head against the back wall. 

“It’s a touch pill to swallow and I get that. Trust me, I’ve been ten different levels of frustrated with myself when I wasn’t able to stop certain things from happening. But-” 

“None of those things were your fault, Levi.” you respond. 

“If something does happen to Falco and Gabi, it won’t be your fault either.” 

You sigh. 

“Everyone goes through things like this. These aren’t just…isolated to us because we’re famous. Granted, they are on public display for people to see, but everyone goes through this kind of thing. These are just the…obstacles that we’ve been given.” Levi responds. 

“Okay, Levi. I’ll try to get there.” you respond. 

Levi looks over at you, eyebrows raised. 

“You feeling okay? You’re listening to me without any pushback?” he states, lightly shoving you. 

“Shut up. I’m turning over a new leaf. Trying to do this thing called making amends.” you respond. 

Levi smiles in response, a hand coming down on your hair. 

“Consider us amended. So what’s your deal with Mikasa then?” he states. 

You groan. 

“She’s your cousin, Levi. You tell me what her deal is with me.” you respond. 

“I believe she picked our resident pain in the ass, Amy, as her maid of honor because she literally had to pick one. The wedding isn’t too far out and she needs the help since Jean can’t help when it comes to type of this thing.” Levi resopnds. 

You hum in response. 

“Not that Amy is any help either. Not that I hate my own family but…Amy’s always been a bit of a…tough nut to swallow. She’s made a couple of weird comments to Hange, so obviously I hate her. Just doesn’t understand the whole fame thing, that’s all.” 

You snort. 

“It’s weirdly nice to have her around. I- she asks me all these overbearing questions. Kind of prepares me for when I’ll start having to do press again.” you murmur. 

“I won’t send you on the press tour unless you’re ready for it. And you know there will be multiple with the season being split into three, so…don’t rush into it all.” Levi responds. 

You nod, giving him a polite smile. 

“Thank you, Levi. For always being there to catch me.” you respond. 

“Don’t thank me for basic human decency, brat.” Levi spits, standing up to join Hange on the other side of the room. 

You smile as you walk up to Connie, who is aggressively scribbling on the whiteboard. There’s two columns and his chicken scratch handwriting on the space. 

Father versus Daddy. 

“Is anyone going to explain?” you ask, settling into the seat between Mikasa and Sasha. 

“They’re ranking everyone’s new Season Four looks. But Connie’s insisting that you cannot compare fathers and daddies. And Jean is forcing us all to do it anyways.” Sasha explains. 

You hum in response, as you tune into Connie’s incessant rambling. 

“No, listen. Why would you compare Reiner and Eren? That’s not even the same playing field!” Connie shouts. 

“Well, if you’re making an objective list, you have to compare them.” Jean states. 

“Whose the daddy and the father between Reiner and Eren?” you ask. 

“Princess, don’t ask stupid questions.” Connie states, rolling his eyes. 

“What? It’s a valid question.” you deflect. 

“Eren is obviously the daddy. And Reiner is father. Look at that beard.” Connie states, grabbing Reiner by the cheeks and squishing his skin. 

You smile. 

“Facial hair really suits you, Reiner. Unlike some people.” 

There’s a good amount of laughter, as you look over at Eren who rolls his eyes at you. 

“Okay, everyone pick. Are we picking Eren or Reiner for the first spot?” Connie asks. 

“I still think it’s rude that I was eliminated at the last round. It’s very hard to pull off a mullet.” Jean states. 

“Stop quoting your fiance! You lost out fair and square.” Niccolo shouts. 

After Connie counts the votes, Reiner beats out Eren by one vote, to which Reiner’s satisfiedly smiles. Levi calls for Eren to start filming, as you turn on your seats to watch him film. 

The ends of Eren’s voice are lost to you as he takes his shirt off and the group of you go silent. 

Eren’s raking his fingers through his own hair as he secures it at the back of his neck, just for Connie to start hollering at him and Jean starts wolf whistling. There’s a pink flush climbing up Eren’s neck as he flips the two of them off, before turning back to Levi. 

“Can I change my vote?” Pieck asks, earning a fit of laughter from the group. 

And you’d love to relish in the discourse, because Eren’s clearly been working out, but you’re entirely distracted by the three, jagged pink scars running along the length of Eren’s back. The makeup team is quick to walk onto the set, quickly masking the scarred tissue as Eren shoots them a polite smile. 

“Eren was my celebrity crush when I was little.” Gabi states. 

“Me too!” Kaya responds, the two of them giggling into their hands. 

Falco is seething behind you at their admissions as Connie joins you at your side, picking up on your blank stare as you watch Eren lean forward on the sink. 

“Real cutie, isn’t he?” Connie asks, elbowing you in your side. 

You roll your eyes. 

“You can’t even say no. You voted for him.” Connie responds. 

“Yes. I’m aware, Connie.” 

Levi shoots you and Connie a glare, as you both apologize and quiet your voices. 

“The marks on Eren’s back, Connie.” you murmur, softly. 

Connie nods, almost too understanding of what’s plaguing you. 

“That’s Eren’s story to tell you. But it happened on set, a while back.” 

You look back at Eren, as him and Hange act out the scene. At the raised skin on his back, in between the tautness of his muscle. You absentmindedly think that if you were to run your hands on his bare back, it would no longer be a smooth surface like the last time you held him. There would be raised skin in the mix, that soft, pink tissue. 

“We should just count ourselves lucky that Hange and Levi never endangered our lives when they had us doing stunts.” Connie states. 

You nod, the thought sombering your mood all together when you realize what he means. 

That Eren was hurt by people being careless with his safety. 

“Ask him about it. He’ll tell you.” 

“He doesn’t tell me anything. We just kind of awkwardly pretend nothing happened.”

“Do you ask?” Connie states. 

“What am I supposed to say? Hey, remember when you said our entire relationship was fake on a really popular podcast? What did you mean by that?” 

Connie sighs. 

“Start small. There’s a lot for you both to unpack. It takes a second.” Connie murmurs. 

“There’s a lot for you to unpack too, Connie. Like the fact that you and Eren are best friends? Because the last time I saw you, you quite literally had just fist fought him a few days prior and said he was the reason you were even addicted in the first place.” you respond. 

Connie sighs. 

“I was wrong. When you came, mind you, I was already so far gone. And anything I was saying, you…you shouldn’t give merit to it. I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for Eren. He was the one who took me to rehab. And made sure that I stayed there. All while he was trying to help Lana and-”

Connie stops abruptly. 

“Just pressure him. He’s been preparing what he’s going to say to you for so long. And he’s just scared to let it all out after so long.” 

You frown, the irritation festering in you, as Eren walks up, a smile plastered on his face. Connie holds his shirt out for him before walking away, as Eren takes the seat next to you. 

“Hi Margaret.” 

“Hi Bruce.” you grumble, glaring at him. 

The two of you sit in silence as you ponder how to approach it, keeping your eyes fixed on the crew changing the set for the next scenes. 

“What happened to your back, Eren?” 

You notice Eren immediately tense up next to you, his hands tightly clasped together, as he swallows hard. 

“Y/N.” 

“I want to know what happened to your back. What you meant when you talked to me backstage at the awards show. Why you took me to that beach.” 

It’s almost like you’ve broken some wall between you, that tiny porcelain barrier that you and Eren never touch. Because Eren’s eyes go wide, his demeanour entirely different, like a downtrodden animal. And he looks just like he did at the awards show, a person who seems miles away. 

“I want to know why the fuck you went on that podcast and acted like you didn’t care about me. I want to know if you fucking care about me, Eren.” 

“Of course I care about you!” he murmurs. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, Eren. You insinuating you only wanted me for my body gave me a pause for a second there.” you spit. 

Eren shuts his eyes, in frustration or pain you can’t quite tell, as he unclasps his hands. 

“Why did you let me break up with you because Sareen and Danny asked me to?” you ask. 

“Why did you break up with me because Danny and Sareen told you to, Y/N?” Eren counters. 

Your throat burns. 

“Well, I-” 

“Why did you come to see me for my birthday, Y/N? Could you not tell that I didn’t want you there?” Eren asks. 

The embarrassment courses through you. 

“I came to tell you that I still loved you, Eren. I came there because I wanted to be with you.” you counter. 

“And I stopped talking to you, I pulled away because I couldn’t have you be there with me. That is the last place I could have you be, Y/N.” Eren responds, frustrated. 

“I get it. You don’t want to be with me. You don’t need to keep fucking rem-” 

“Do you have selective hearing? Where did I say that I didn’t want you? I said I couldn’t have you be there with me. Those are two different things.” he seethes. 

You glare at him. 

“You sound like a dumbass, Eren. Your actions were literally-” 

“What part of that trip made it seem like I didn’t fucking want you? If you critically think, for two seconds Y/N, you would realize that the fact that I fucking loved you so much I couldn’t even stay away when you showed up. But I couldn’t have you there. Because if it came down to it, when I had to pick between covering someone else or taking care of you, I’d pick you. And I…I couldn’t. There was too much at stake and-” Eren rambles. 

“You aren’t even making sense, Eren. What could possibly be at stake?” you shout. 

Eren sighs. 

“Everything, Y/N.” Eren responds, softly. 

He reaches down, taking one of his hands in yours, as he presses hard on your knuckles. There’s nothing behind his eyes, or rather something simmering deep down, as he avoids your gaze. And the entire…demeanour is enough to push back the wave of anger and let that small soft spot that you have for Eren rise up. 

That always coaxed him into talking. 

“Y/N.” 

“What?” 

“I’m asking you that when the time comes, you’ll hear me out. I-I have answers for you. All of them, almost every single one I just need you to wait. For me. Please.” Eren begs. 

You know the look in his eyes too well. The desperation. The same desperation that Eren had when he asked you if you still belonged to him, on that beach. 

And for a second time, you give in. 

“Don’t make me wait forever, Bruce.” 

The wall is back up. 

“I won’t, Margaret.” Eren responds. 

He drops your hands, before walking away with his hands shaking, as you swallow that acidic bile in your throat. And try to rack your mind for the hundredth time, trying to figure out what Eren means. 

--

There’s something about Sasha and Niccolo that makes your heart yearn.

You place your hands flat on Sasha’s shoulders, wrapping your coat around her arms, as she smiles at you in the mirror. You’ve braided the front of her hair, Mikasa’s twisted little flowers into the ends, and Gabi’s brushed all your sparkly makeup over her face to the best of her desires. 

Because Sasha and Niccolo are going on their first date. 

And there’s something about both of their demeanours, the way they act around each other, that leaves a pit in your chest. And comes with a mix of emotions - going every which way. 

First, an overwhelmingly abundant feeling of happiness for Sasha. Because if her words were any inkling to you, it seems like this agonizing want, to be held, to be loved, is something that has plagued Sasha for years. And being here - being around Jean and Mikasa, Levi and Hange, even you and Eren - you’re almost positive that Sasha’s been walking around with this pit, with this yearning in her chest her entire life. 

It almost makes it sweeter that she’s getting it now. 

Second, there’s some part of it that leaves you with this warm, soft feeling in your stomach. Because the group of you - Sasha, Mikasa, Annie, Pieck, and even Gabi - you’d spent all day together. Picking out Sasha’s outfit, letting her pick out the jewelery, and tell you all the things that Niccolo had planned for her. 

That the two of them were going to go on a picnic, by a lake nearby. That Niccolo had spent all this time planning the date with all the guys - that Eren told him about the place, that Jean picked out the food to make with him, that Connie’s been giving one liners to Niccolo to use the entire night. 

And third, it makes you long for something you don’t quite have anymore. That at one point, there was someone that filled you with that type of joy. That you know the full extents of her happiness, because you were once in that spot, and even worse, know exactly what could be waiting for her if things go south. 

It leaves you with many things. Longing, yearning, fear, and protectiveness. Over Sasha. 

Downstairs, Eren is having the same feelings, as the group of them threaten Niccolo at the dining table. Jean, Connie, Armin, and Eren made it a point to make sure that Niccolo, sweet sweet Niccolo, was going to show Sasha the time of her life tonight. 

Connie’s having way too much fun with it. Meaning, that he’s got a flood light that he stole from set that he’s shining in Niccolo’s face. Like he’s in an interrogation. 

“What are your intentions with Sasha, Niccolo? If that’s even your real name.” Connie seethes. 

“Niccolo is my real name. And I just want to take her on a date. M-make her feel special.” 

“Likely story, bitch boy.” Jean screams, slamming his fist down on the table. 

Eren looks over, giving Armin a weary look, as Jean and Connie continue. 

“What food did you make, lover boy?” Connie asks. 

“Um, Sasha once mentioned that she wanted to try ratatouille? Like from the movie? So I made that and the sides are mashed potatoes since she likes-”��

“How do you know she’s going to like it? What are you going to do if she doesn’t?” Jean asks. 

“Take her somewhere else. Make sure that she eats something she likes?” Niccolo asks, a bead of sweat on his forehead. 

Armin leans over, whispering in Eren’s ear. 

“They’re having way too much fun doing this. I almost feel bad for the guy.” Armin states. 

“I know. Sasha’s going to wring their necks out when she finds out they did this.” Eren responds. 

“That, I want a front row show for. Sasha always has the funniest insults.” 

“God, I know. I’m so lucky she wasn’t there when we were all talking about Hobo Eren for the first time. I’m afraid my self esteem wouldn’t be able to survive that.” Eren mutters back. 

Armin laughs, with has Eren’s chest writhing in ten different ways, as Connie starts interrogating Niccolo about where he’s going to place his hands on Sasha tonight. 

“Okay, Con. That’s enough.” Eren states, giving Armin a knowing look as they both take a seat across from Niccolo. 

“Ah. Right, I hope you know that I-I have the best intentions with Sasha tonight. I really, really like her and I would never do anything to hurt her.” Niccolo states, hands up in defense as he looks at Armin and Eren. 

Eren fights the urge to smile. 

“You better.” Eren states, face blank as he looks at Niccolo. 

“H-huh?” Niccolo asks. 

“You heard him. You better.” Armin repeats, mimicking Eren’s expression. 

“Right. I-I just said that I did.” Niccolo responds. 

“Great. Then we won’t have a problem. Do you want a problem, Niccolo?” Armin states, folding his hands on the table. 

“N-no.” he responds. 

“Why did you stutter, Niccolo?” Eren asks, pinching his eyes at him. 

On cue, Eren and Armin are cut off from their version of Jean and Connie’s interrogation, which they’re sure is more horrifying than theirs, as all the girls run down the stairs and start giggling. Eren’s thrown off by the excited look on your face, at your hands linked with Mikasa. 

“Oh! Oh, Nico stand up! You look so cute.” you state, squeezing Mikasa’s hands as you look at him. 

His soft blonde curls are tamed against his forehead, the tiniest bouquet of little flowers bunched up in his hands. You can tell that he’s a little nervous - from the way he’s awkwardly smiling at the group of you and the little flush on his cheeks - which has your heart squelching even more. 

“Sasha’s a lucky girl.” Mikasa agrees, a wide smile on her face. 

“Speaking of Sasha, I think she’s ready.” Annie states. 

The group of you all stand to the side, arm linked with Sasha’s, as Sasha stumbles down the stairs. Niccolo and Sasha have matching pink flushes rushing up their necks as they awkwardly smile at each other, Sasha stumbling over her words when Niccolo hands her the flowers and Niccolo nearly losing it over Sasha calling him handsome. 

“You two. If I found out you bothered him, I’m going to wring your necks out.” Sasha states, pointing over to the boys with a menacing glare. 

“We didn’t do anything!” Jean whines. 

“I’m not talking to you, Jean. I’m talking to you two.” Sasha states, accusingly pointing at Eren and Armin. 

“We didn’t do anything. Right, Niccolo?” Eren asks, giving him his best peachy smile. 

“Of course not!” Niccolo states, linking his hands with Sasha as the two of them give you all waves goodbye and you all clump by the door to watch them settle into the car. 

Armin and Eren are directly behind you, giggling about something, as the two of them drive off. 

“You guys are so mean. You probably scared the guy to death.” you state. 

“It was nothing that wasn’t necessary, Y/N.” Eren responds, crossing his hands over his chest. 

“If anything, I would argue it was noble. Wouldn’t you agree, Eren?” Armin states, leaning his elbow on Eren’s shoulder, like he’s deep in thought. 

“I think I would, Armin.” Eren responds, the two of them giving admonishing look. 

“He’s a sweet guy!” you whine. 

“We know that. But this is Sasha. I can’t have him going around thinking he’s in her league or something.” Eren states. 

“Sasha is basically a national treasure. We’re have to remind him of his place here.” Armin states. 

You roll your eyes, pushing past the both of them, as you roll your eyes. You pad into the kitchen, rummaging around for snacks, as Eren follows behind you. And right when you’re about to pour yourself a bowl of cereal, Eren’s quick to snatch the box from your hands. 

“Sorry. We’re eating proper food for dinner tonight.” Eren states, giving you a peachy smile. 

“You’re so annoying.” you grumble, trying to reach for the box again. 

“Cereal is good. But you have to balance it out. With some protein or add some fruits in it or something.” Eren adds. 

“Or I can just eat it right now and you can quit it.” 

“Nope. We’re eating pasta.” Eren states, now rummaging through all the cabinets as he sets out to make the food. 

You push up on the counter, dangling your feet off the edge, as you get a weird sense of deja vu. 

Of your first date with Eren. 

“Can I cut the vegetables?” 

Eren looks over, just to give you a pointed glare. And you fight the urge to laugh, and ignore that stirring in your chest, that he remembers. Or more appropriately, still doesn’t trust you to cook in the kitchen with him. 

“Do you think you’re some kind of comedian, Margaret?”

“No. I’m a really good cook now. You can trust me.” 

Eren leans against the counter, a hand on his hip, as you roll your eyes. 

“Right. Need I remind you, you almost set the house on fire a few days ago. God knows what you’re going to do if I let you do this.” Eren sneers. 

“You’re so-” 

“For all we know, you’re going to start a grease fire! And then try to throw water at it to put it out.” 

“Do you not put fires out with water?” 

Eren laughs. 

“Oil and water don’t mix, princess. Were you born yesterday?” 

You fight the urge to laugh, at how sassy Eren is being, as you reach for the vegetables lying directly to his side. And when you pull out the cutting board and the knife from the drawer, Eren’s scoffing at you. 

“Yeah, right. Use the safety knife.” Eren states. 

“Am I five years old, Eren?” 

“Litearlly yes. Give me like two minutes, I’ll do it.” Eren responds. 

You roll your eyes, as you attend to cutting the little vegetables, dicing the onions and the bell peppers to the best of your ability. 

“Do you think Sasha’s having fun?” you ask. 

“It’s Niccolo. I’m sure he’s putting on a good time for her. And if he isn’t, Armin and I are going to wring his neck out when he comes back.” 

“You and Armin, huh?” 

Eren’s shoulders deflate, the smallest makings of a smile on his face. 

“It’s not anything like that, Y/N. We just don’t play about Sasha, that’s all.” Eren responds. 

“Or, you two are making amends. Baby steps.” 

Eren smiles. 

“Maybe. I hope so.” he responds. 

“I love how you guys are all protective of Sasha. It’s really sweet, actually.” you murmur. 

“Well, it’s Sash. She’s basically like our little sister.” Eren responds. 

“I know. But it just reminds me of when we were younger and stuff. Sasha, she never really had someone interested in her like that. I think some part of her really internalized that type of stuff, so I’m glad we’re all able to make her feel special now.” you respond. 

“How so?” 

“I don’t know. I can’t really speak to it personally, but from what Sasha said, some part of her took it really seriously. That it was something about her, that it was her personality or her looks and that’s why people didn’t like her like that.” 

Eren frowns. 

“Sasha’s beautiful. And she’s funny. We’re so protective of her because she’s so special.” Eren responds. 

“I know that. I just mean, when you don’t get that type of attention, you tend to…let it stick with you. It even happens to people who haven’t been in relationships for a while. Like the yearning, the longing for something like that just makes you kind of…down.” you mumble. 

Eren looks over at you, green eyes peering into yours. 

“Are you down, Y/N?” he asks. 

“What?” 

“I was just asking if you were down. It’s been a while since you’ve been in a relationship.” Eren responds, the tone of his voice heartfelt. 

You sigh. 

“Okay, Mr. Long Term Relationship. I don’t want to seem like I’m jealous of Sasha, I’m actually really happy for her-” 

“I’m not in a long term relationsip.” Eren responds. 

“You’re not?” you ask. 

Eren looks over at you and frowns. 

“Did you really go into hibernation the two years you were gone? I haven’t been in a relationship for almost a year and a half now.” Eren responds. 

“Oh.” 

Eren smiles. 

“Yeah, oh. But continue with what you were saying.” Eren gestures. 

“I don’t know. Sometimes you just want someone to hold you.” you respond. 

You reach for the next set of vegetables, the slicing sound distracting you from that palpable tension in the air. 

“I get that. I feel that way too sometimes. Especially around Jean and Mikasa.” Eren responds. 

“God, don’t get me started. They’re so sweet it makes my stomach hurt.” you respond. 

You must have been too distracted by the premise, because you cut down into the softness of your fingers and immediately hiss in pain. Eren’s all too quick to move to your side, his head peering over your shoulder as he immediately starts scolding you. 

“You know, this is why I told you not to cut the vegetables, Margaret.”

“Are you really having an “I told you so moment” while I’m bleeding out, Bruce?” you deadpan. 

“You aren’t bleeding out, drama queen.” 

Eren’s quick to reach over you, pulling out the stack of alcohol wipes and bandaids from the cupboard. He places his hands on your shoulders, twisting you to face him as he holds his hand out. You instinctively high five his hand, which he rolls his eyes at. 

“Your other hand, Y/N.”

You roll your eyes as you place your injured hand in his, ignoring his featherlike touch on your fingers as he carefully wraps the Cinderella bandaid around your finger. When Eren’s all set and done, he lightly curls his hand around yours, just to immediately pull it back when he realizes what he’s done. 

“Thanks.” you respond. 

“No problem. Now move over and let me cut these before I have to put a tourniquet on you.” Eren states, sliding you slightly to the side. 

You watch Eren in silence, as he attentively makes the dinner for the two of you. And try to banish the thought from your mind, that if you and Eren were still together, that this is what every night would look like for the two of you. That he would have held you, when you said you wanted to be held. 

“Have you written any new music lately?” Eren asks, plating the food onto the dishes before picking up both and gesturing for you to follow. 

You shake your head, twisting the forks in your fingers. 

“I actually haven’t written anything since the Lucky One. Since happiness.” 

The two of you eat in silence, before Eren speaks again. 

“It’s a beautiful song, Y/N.” 

“Thank you.” you murmur. 

The interviews fresh on your mind, particularly the fact that you have confirmation now that Eren’s watched it, which has your words, rather embarrassingly, ringing in your mind. 

Eren Jaeger is the love of my life. He’s everything you want in the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and more. He’s kind, he’s sensitive, he’s all too willing to understand you. Too willing to meet you where you are, as you are, and look past all the bad parts of you. 

You look over at him. 

He’s still your Eren. 

“Have you met the new you yet, Y/N?” Eren asks. 

You understand what he means. 

Have you forgiven him yet? 

“I don’t know. There’s still some things I don’t know, Eren. And I’ve been patient but-” 

“Everyone’s leaving for the first press tour on Friday.” Eren states. 

You tilt your head to the side, in confusion. 

“Everyone except you and me.” Eren adds. 

“Oh.” 

“I’ll have your answers. I just…I can’t have anyone here when we talk about this. All of it and-” 

“Well, I wouldn’t want anyone here anyways. I can’t have any accomplices to my homicide.” you state. 

Eren laughs, reaching over to lightly shove your shoulder, as he gestures for you to keep eating.

“Just two more days, okay?” Eren whispers. 

“Okay, Eren.” you respond, a silent chill running down your spine. 

You tap his foot under the table on instinct. And he taps on your foot back. 

--

Falco’s seated at the piano, his entire demeanour a mix of nerves. His hairs a tousled mess, certainly from running his hands through it a hundred times, a sizable bead of sweat on his forehead, and his hands shaking underneath his legs. 

You’re all sat around him in a circle, everyone anticipating Gabi’s arrival, as you all watch Falco nervously twitch on the bench. Last night, after Levi had finished his press brief, preparing everyone for answers to common questions (the main one being about whether or not you’re returning for season four), Falco cleared his throat and asked you all for a special request. 

For everyone to gather on the set, early morning before everyone leaves for the press tour tomorrow. And after he shuffled out of the room, Niccolo made you all aware that he was planning on playing his new song for you. 

Naturally, you all obliged. You’re all stuck in your own conversations, quietly musing and sharing the extra blankets on set, as Eren settles down next to you, crossing his legs over one another as he sits at your side. He’s holding out an extra blanket for you, which you gratefully smile at him for, before wrapping around yourself. 

“Good morning, Margaret.” 

“Hi Bruce.” 

Eren smiles, his entire demeanour shifting. He’s the most calm you’ve seen him, at least in a while. You think it suits him. Meanwhile, you can’t help but feel like an anxious ball of nerves just being here next to him. 

“Ready?” Eren asks.

Your heart drops. 

“For?” 

“Hearing Falco’s song. I heard from Gabi that it’s really great.” Eren states. 

Right. He definitely wasn’t asking about the conversation you guys were going to have when everyone left. 

“Yeah. I’m excited.” you respond. 

“Me too.” 

You swallow hard, giving Falco a smile as he glances over at you. 

“And I didn’t forget, Y/N.” he adds, voice quiet so you’re the only one who can hear it. 

You nod in response, acknowledging his words, as the dryness overtakes your throat. And on cue, Gabi runs into set, her hood pulled over her head, as she all but rambles as she walks in. 

“Ah! Falco, guys. Oh my gosh, I’m so so sorry. I woke up late and then couldn’t find my clothes and-” 

“It’s okay, Gabi.” Falco responds, giving her a soft smile. 

“Oh, Falco. I really am sorry. But I’m here now. And you’ve got this!” she responds, holding her hand out. 

Falco smiles big, reaching forward as him and Gabi complete some long winded and complicated handshake. And when they’re done, Gabi settles into the seat right next to Eren, as he reaches forward to pull the hood of her jacket down and she gives him an excited smile. 

“Sorry for making you guys do this. I just-” 

Falco stops short, absentmindedly pressing on one of the keys. 

“Y/N has told me so much about what doing press is like. Before, when I was younger. That sometimes people would ask her questions that were weirdly inappropriate or…or ask her different questions than her male co-stars and…” 

Your heart clenches. 

“It bothered me so much to think that people said stuff like that to my sister. And now that I know all of you, I hate to think you’ve all been doing press like that too. I figure we’d all leave today on a high note? And I could share something I’ve been doing for a while with you, if that’s okay.” Falco rambles, the smallest flush creeping up his neck. 

You all smile, huddling closer into your blanket as Falco starts playing the piano. 

Floorboards creaking in my home Deathly silence when alone Oh, I wish that you were here right now So unlike me, somehow I Fell in love in just three nights Those November days still haunting me

Falco’s always been a great singer. He’s always been like this - so full of energy, his voice so full of life. And you’re sure that the tears falling down your cheeks, the smile creeping up on your face, is a byproduct of the hundreds of thoughts running across your mind, but mainly the pride swelling in your chest.

That Falco’s not five anymore and that he doesn’t need your help reaching the high cabinets. And that he may not always hold your hand like he did when he was seven, but he never flinches or denies you when you ask him to. Or that really, Falco’s grown up. 

And you’re almost positive that Falco’s in love. With Gabi, whose smiling at him in awe, the clear signs of pride on her face as she watches him press down on the keys, his soft voice filling the air. 

When the gold rays fell on your skin And my hair got caught in the wind The choir sang a melancholic hymn (ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah) In the morning, you would gone I'd be mourning, tryin' to hold on To the memory of your lips God, I'm so lovesick What have you done to me?

You look around the room to find Jean pulling Mikasa flesh against his chest, Sasha and Niccolo reaching to hold each other’s hands, Hange absentmindely leaning her head on Levi’s shoulder, just for him to bring his hand up to comb through her hair. 

You look over at Eren, the soft smile on his face as he lightly bobs his head to the music. You must have been staring at him full on, because he looks over at you and smiles. 

“When did Coco grow up?” he whispers. 

“I’m literally getting a stomach ache thinking about how he’s not a baby anymore.” you respond, frowning at Falco as he finishes singing. 

At how sweet he is. At how much you love him. And how you’re going to make sure, without a doubt, that no one gets to take this away from him. 

Everyone reaches to give Falco big hugs, tousling his hair and excitedly shaking his tiny frame, as he makes his way over to where you and Eren are sitting on the floor. He lands criss cross in front of you, the smile not leaving his face. 

“Did you like it, Y/N?” he asks, the look on his face hopeful. 

You reach forward, taking his hands in yours. 

“I loved it, Coco.” 

“Really?” 

“Are you crazy? It’s perfect. You’re perfect.” you respond, squeezing his hands hard. 

Falco excitedly rushes in to hug you, only to tackle you hard straight into the ground. You both laugh, a tangled mix of limbs, and you hug him as hard as you can, trying to squeeze that big writhing feeling of love in your chest right onto him with your arms. 

“I really love you, Y/N.” Falco murmurs. 

“I really love you too, Falco. You’re going to be amazing at this. Like, triple threat level.” you respond. 

“That’s rich coming from you.” Falco responds, pulling out of your arms as you pinch his cheek. 

“Takes one to know one.” you respond. 

You cup Falco’s face in your hands. 

“You’ve got this. Really.” you murmur. 

“I know.” 

“Good. And remember, if anyone says anything shitty to Gabi-” 

“I’ll defend her.” he responds. 

You smile. 

“I’ve taught you well. Though, you’ve never really needed my help. You’ve always been great on your own.” 

“I’m lucky to learn from the best. And to have you. To protect me from all the bad stuff.” he adds. 

You smile. 

“I wish someone got to do it for you.” Falco adds. 

“That’s okay. You were always there. You did more for me than you know.” 

Falco smiles. 

“Wanna know a secret?” Falco asks. 

You nod.

“I know everyone hated those two years that you were gone. But they were my favorite.” Falco responds. 

You smile hard, reaching forward to press a kiss to his cheek. 

“Me too. I finally know how to hit people on Roblox now.” 

Falco laughs, turning his head to respond to Gabi and Kaya who are calling him at your sides. Armin’s standing post with his camera, gesturing for him to join the picture. 

And little by little, you watch every last one of them pad out of the set, the group of them giving you wistful goodbyes and promises to tell at least one interviewer to go fuck themselves on your behalf, until you and Eren are left sitting alone, on the bench of the piano. 

He turns to you, green eyes wide and round, as they peer into yours. 

“Ready, Y/N?” 

You take a deep breath in. 

“Yeah. Where should we start?” you murmur. 

“We should start here.” Eren states, handing you a little plastic box. 

You take it in your hands, inspecting it in your fingers and flipping it over. It’s a little green CD, with unmistakable handwriting markered onto the top. 

Fine Line. 

You swallow hard. 

“Is that Sukuna’s handwriting?” you ask. 

“I’m going to pretend like you didn’t just say that.” Eren responds, rolling his eyes. 

“What?” 

“You two together has been a sore spot for me since I was sixteen. And I’m not even going to ask you why you’re able to recognize his handwriting straight off the bat.” Eren teases. 

You roll your eyes. 

“What is this, Eren?” you ask. 

“Anything you could possibly want to know is on there.” he responds. 

You nod, as the two of you stand up and march back to the townhouse in silence. You twist the little box in your fingers, the CD glimmering in the light outside. When you finally make it back, you push it into the little box and take a deep breath. 

Eren reaches for your hand and squeezes. Three times. 

And you press play.

--

next part linked here

an, again: ARE YOU READY FOR IT?? in the efforts of being charitable, here's the song line up for the next chapter: ever since new york by harry styles, clean by taylor swift, all of the girls you've loved before, last kiss by taylor swift, sparks by coldplay, and obviously, fine line by harry styles. make of that what you will.

taglist:

@k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06  @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha  @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-mori @sofiasber @bbybeeb @timetobegone @tee4str @ttokki2 @leave-rae-alone @ec3lipsy @officialsimpp @gojojang @yookayyo @lordbugs @multiplefandomthings @iobeyfandoms @camilo-uwu @justanotherkpopstanlol @mel-star636 @fvckingeetar @ttalgi @najaemism @ilovekimchi123 @youraggedybitch @xoyumiqls @leafguitar @mrksnctzen @spiidergirlsworld

pls comment on this post or any of the chapters if you want to be added to the taglist <3

[deacons-wig]

I'd prefer if we never got to see the origin of Vault Boy and Vault Tec's branding in the same way I'd rather not get a canon answer of who started the War or how. That's the point of War Never Changes.

Vault Boy is a sinister figure in his cheerful embrace of Armageddon. Giving the Vault Tec brand a face and a name and a backstory feels so unimportant to what is actually interesting about Fallout. What's important to me is the big picture pre war, and the details of what comes after.

What is interesting to me is exploring how propaganda is designed to convince people how close they are to annihilation--or homelessness, unemployment, obscurity, or being The Other and therefore destined to suffer--in hell, in oppressions, being ostracized. Honestly insert any sort of marginalization or suffering here. Crony capitalism uses propaganda to market products designed to manipulate people into buying distance between themselves and that annihilation. Putting themselves "behind the thumb" of Vault Boy, so to speak. Buying a lifestyle. Vault Boy does it with a wink and a smile, inviting those who can afford it to buy their way to safety while using capital and fear to perpetuate the cycle. I don't need the specifics to understand this.

Some ghoulnaysis below the cut:

I'll admit, my initial reaction to pre-war Ghoulgins being the inspiration for Vault Boy was funny! Mr. Cooper Howard, washed up actor experiencing an existential crisis being shoehorned into corporate propaganda that then haunts him for the next 200+ years? Selling manifest destiny, racism, the Rugged Individual, the revisionist history that cowboys were a) white and b) more than a brief footnote in the history of the colonization of North America's west. The commodification of entertainers/creatives/public figures. Selling identities to be packaged into a product that will outlive them? Only to have that person live alongside that role they regret (?) playing... kinda tasty, if we have to give Vault Boy a backstory, though I didn't get a clear sense of his actual feelings about being used as a propaganda guy which I think is a failure of the show to commit to the narrative they set up, which happens with a lot of the show's (lack of) engagement with Fallout's larger themes anyway.

But The Ghoul (stupid name!!! weird and boring choice!!!) is just such an uncompelling and repellent character to me. I love a good bad guy or even anti-hero, but honestly he lacks any interiority. He's an evil karma character (eats people, waterboards and mutilates people, sells people to organ harvesters...like? that literally makes you evil in the games...) but the narrative pushes him as an antihero or someone with gray morality because he what..."likes" dogs? And isn't as decayed or unsettling looking as other ghouls (implying handsome=good or interesting). People aren't afraid of him because he is a ghoul, they're afraid of him because he's evil and will hurt them! Sometimes for no reason! I see the callback to the director telling him to shoot his co-star and Cooper saying he's "the good guy," but is that why he becomes so fucking evil post war? Really?

I don't know why he does what he does other than...the world sucked before and sucks now so he might as well represent the basest of human behavior? That seems to be the thesis of the show--unless kindness and community is engendered (by the vaults, by Management, by a civic government, by corporations) people will descend into chaos.

So why have this poorly executed anti-hero be the origin of Vault Boy? What are the narrative choices being made here? Is it just Rule of Cool?

Personally I would like a pathetic, rotting wet cat of a ghoul, some sort of carved out husk of a washed up movie star either trying to relive his glory days, or avoid them--having given up hope of finding his family after 200 years--being dragged into Lucy's orbit and being constantly reminded of his Vault Boy fame, that she is a walking Vault Girl with her Okey Dokey's and Golden Rule. He'd be a joke, a footnote of the old world. He'd be mean and snarky, even unpredictable and uncooperative--have a public persona of friendly curiosity and a private, cynical one.

Pathetic Ghoulgins would remind audiences of the cost of capitalism and imperialism without resorting to the thesis that war never changes means that people are inherently cruel and will resort to violence, rather than existent corporate and political power structures intentionally create the conditions in which people accept perpetual cycles of exploitation and harm for the sake of their own safety and comfort, despite knowing the cost of maintaining the status quo, and not seeing or believing that distance between the status quo and total annihilation is measured by the smiling thumbs up of a cartoon mascot.

I'm sure there are other ways The Ghoul could have been a successful character as well but.... That's satire. That's interesting. That's Fallout.

[longing-for-rain]

ATLA Discourse Simulator: 2024 Revival Edition

🌊 katara-stan Follow

It’s sad to me how Katara was forced to take on so many responsibilities from a young age. I relate to it as an eldest daughter with trauma in my childhood.

👺 404-literacy-not-found Follow

How DARE you parentify Katara! She’s just a silly little 14 year old not mom friend!!!

74 notes

🌙 zutara-fan Follow

I like Zutara

🚓 avatar-fandom-police Follow

You’re not allowed to do this as it is personally offensive to me, a balding middle-aged man. Your femcel fantasies are pathetic and no man will ever want you. By the way I’m gay so I’m not sexist.

32 notes

🍼 aang-lover Follow

How DARE anyone criticize my perfect little angel boy, he never did anything wrong! Touching girls without their consent is just a SMALL MISTAKE and I’m sure his implied apology was really good!

🙏undercover-tradwife Follow

SO TRUE it’s so sad how many women want to ruin an innocent boy’s whole life over nothing 😢

12,547 notes

▪️zvtara-was-never-canon Follow

Zutara fans are such bitter harpies who self-project their desire to have a fulfilling relationship with a partner who respects them! It’s such a boring relationship anyway. I don’t care about it at all, which is why I made a whole blog dedicated to bashing it.

⛓️ basement-dwelling-pedo Follow

So true kitten! You put those stupid cunts in their place! By the way, when is the next chapter of your bdsm incest rape fetish fanfic updating? I’m getting thirsty 😩

▪️ zvtara-was-never-canon Follow

Don’t worry Daddy, I’ll service you soon. I can’t believe how horribly Zutara shippers characterize Aang. They should be more like me, and write Zuko as a pervert who rapes his sister instead. Please tell me how special and talented I am again, please please Daddy I need it!

29 notes

🔥 firelady-mai Follow

I love Zuko’s redemption arc so much! What a beautifully written story about breaking the cycle of abuse!

🌊 zutara-lover Follow

I really like Zuko too! I always admired his character 😊

🔥 firelady-mai Follow

Fuck you, I take it all back. Zuko is an evil racist toxic abuser. How dare you suggest he taint Katara’s purity with his colonizer genes?

976 notes

[captain-mj]

Do you have any headcanons for ghostsoap?

Oh boi do I

~~~~

Soap is the possessive one.

Ghost jokes about his mental health and its funny, but Soap tries not to laugh because he knows it encourages him.

Ghost can cook meat. Like... that’s it. The guy goes hunting all the time so he needs to be able to cook something out there, but I just really don’t think he can cook a single vegetable

Soap is pretty competent in the kitchen. He doesn’t like doing it though and they usually end up ordering 

Soap tried out daddy without thinking first and Ghost almost threw up. They avoid mentions of family in the bedroom now

Ghost refuses to learn Scotts. He’s secretly picked up the majority of it, but he can’t let Soap have the win.

One of Soap’s siblings makes a joke that he was colonized because Ghost is British and Soap had to lay down for a while

Ghost once apologized for his mental health issues and then just sighed “At least our sex is going to be phenomenal” Soap shut down and had to lay down again

Soap manages to convince Ghost to do dumb stuff with him a stupid amount. Ghost is always down to do something stupid as long as they’re off duty and no one else is around. It works vice versa as well.

They go cryptid hunting (Ghost’s idea). Soap actually plans a trip to Scotland explicitly to let Ghost see the Loch and try to find Nessie. They see a fish and both are utterly convinced. 

Ghost once jokingly gave Soap a dead guy’s ring, knowing Soap saw him take it off the corpse. Soap still wears it. Ghost hasn’t figured out how he feels about that yet. 

Ghost was big mad when Soap stole one of his masks until he saw him wear it (talking about the red one) and Ghost had a mini heart attack

Soap steals Ghost’s clothes. Has broken into Ghost’s apartment to get them before. Ghost is aware and leaves them organized so Soap takes his least favorite items

[somethinginworl]

He would not fucking say that - Kirby franchise edition (Results)

Well! Seems like a lot of people had a lot to say about mischaracterized Kirby characters, as a matter of fact, there were a whooping 57 entries! Well, let’s get going with them, shall we? Just,,, beware that this is a LOOONG post.

Haltmann

The dude 100% did fucked up shit and needs to be held accountable but people seem to so easily forget the degree he was influenced/corrupted by Star Dream. I don't understand why people hate Haltmann and love Star Dream who is arguably the actual reason HWC started colonizing and draining planets. Also the fact that Haltmann isn't conventionally attractive to the majority of the fandom makes him less sympathetic ig?? But the dude is a grieving father who made mistakes that sent him down a spiral into being corrupted and then deleted by a heartless machine. I can't help but pity him

Prince Fluff

Go on ao3. Look in his tag on tumblr. He exists only to be Kirby or Shadow Kirby's love interest most of the time, with no personality of his own.

He barely gets recognized anymore, and if he does, it's usually as a ship Prince Fluff was a big part of my childhood, with Epic Yarn being my first game. To me, he was Kirby's fellow main character, and they had a cool sibling/best friend relationship. But now, a lot of what I see of him is just . . . Kirfluff. Which is cool and all, but man's a prince! He can do more than be a boyfriend! Heck, he runs an entire kingdom by himself! One thing that I want to see more of is Fluff as a stressed but caring ruler, not just a sidekick/boyfriend to the pink puff. Give yarn boy his deserved appreciation!.

Dark Meta Knight

Hello! I am here to spread the good word of a character with no personality. It's the mirror thing. Of course.  Dark Meta Knight has No Personality. Zero. Nada. Zilch. He's Meta Knight but Dark. What does that mean? Your guess. He fights Meta Knight. And wins lmao skill issue blueboy. And fights Kirby. And loses a few times, which isn't surprising. He was dumb enough to split Kirby in four, though. Four times the Kirby is four times the amount your ass is grass. You're practically a forest at that point because you're so grass. So he's violent and has no personality outside of being violent. Woo! Triple Deluxe has him attack Dedede in Dededetour inside the Mirror. This has led people to think he fucked over Sectonia. This makes my heart bleed as much as Taranza probably did when he was punted off of Royal Road via Fuck You Lightning Ball. My man just has no sense of timing,,,, They just wanted to include a Meta Knight battle because Knight Battles are a Kirby standard at this point,,, You think a man that stupid can figure out how to take advantage of a woman's insecurity? I don't even know if he knows women exist. How many female Amazing Mirror characters are there??? Boxy??? Moley mentions having a wife once and Dameta doesn't know what he means. But other than being driven to immense violence and being scapegoated for the stuff his boss probably did, Dameta has other hobbies! Like whatever his motivation in Star Allies is. Something dastardly, I'm sure. People really like to pretend he's not part of the Star Ally club when my man is doodling with toddlers and posing with his less cool less edgy self. Would a villain have a silly little we heart kirby statue? No, didn't think so. Also I cannot imagine him as a dad to Shadkirby either. Do they even interact? I've seen both "Amazing dad" and "Outright abusive" as interpretations and I can't go with either. But I think that's because I don't enjoy Metadad that much. They're like awkward coworkers. He thinks they're student and mentor. They're not even that. Dameta barely knows Shadow exists.

Dark Meta Knight is very popularly characterized as like an abusive parent, usually physically abusive. Mainly to Shadow Kirby, of course. He's an asshole, yeah, but not THAT bad, christ. I've seen multiple fics where Shadow Kirby is some poor little hey what t the fuck hes fighting himself. um. Back to being a hater.

Shadow Kirby

Some folks still think he's shy/cowardly like from the Amazing Mirror Days. Not really true anymore. From what fans have seen from the ending of the game, he does protect the Mirror World. As for the spin off games that include him, he's pretty tough and even creates mischief sometimes.

Shadow Kirby is constantly treated as an "evil" Kirby. Especially bad after Fighters and fighters two. Not to mention "Parallel Kirby". There's also a strangely common trend of making them more sapient than pink Kirby, who tends to be infantilised to hell and back. Shadow Kirby also is often treated as a complete coward who can't do anything right, when they aren't called evil.

He's shown as completely different in several different occasions, not only in personality but in design I like shadow kirby he's purple and then he's not

Dark Taranza

Dark Taranza, gonna be honest what little characterization people give him are actually okay compared to the rest. But I'm still a hater and hang on im watching jerma clips. okay. He's like Sectonia if Sectonia was Taranza if that makes sense.

Shadow Dedede

Shadow Dedede barely gets shit but I'm going to be a little hater anyways. I don't like most characterizations. I see people make him like a dictator like bro he's literally just some guy.

Sectonia

have you seen how often people say that  sectonia and taranza were boyfriend and girlfriend in canon?????? they were never!!! shes the gosh dang final boss but shes only ever used to give taranza angst. she is her own person with a personality!!!! yes their backstories are interconnected but gosh!!!!

This not too prominent but I can't stand it when people portray her as an uwu shy girl pre-corruption. While she gave in her worst aspects, she was probably always a kind of vain, girlboss! I mean she knows how to fight with rapiers c'mon!!!

idk it just feels like lots of people just see her as Taranza's tragic dead wife and like nothing else you know? like she is more than that and I feel like what little content we have of her proves that (like the soul boss descriptions (especially the original japanese text of the 2nd phase!!) and the eternal dream song) - or maybe im reading too much into those because im hyperfixating on my blorbo whoops

Kine

I'm not sure how true this opinion is considering how little people talk about Kine, I feel this is partially the anime's fault, or maybe its because of how he just looks, but Kine is cool and is not some stupid loser fish. Before the days of Crystal Shards, Him, Kirby, Rick & Coo were the dream team at the time, always hanging out going, with various activities long before the days of Meta Knight or even Dedede. Kine is an awesome aquatic rep for the Kirby series not to mention drinking and being a pirate and Kine even has a Wife! Kine has got it! I guess this is a partial compliant of Ship of Theseus which can be applied with Rick & Coo too, but I feel Kine gets the most hate if any because of people who are unfamiliar just see a dopey fish and are unaware of his origins and his past with Kirby. I'm not upset with the current representation of the Kirby cast (I love the RTDL team being the main crew) but I do hope the animal buddies get some more love, Especially Kine.

Dedede

reduced to his significantly less in-depth and compelling characterization from the anime

Anime Dedede.

Magolor

one time i read a series of fanfictions where he called every female character in the story a bitch and was portrayed as the good guy in the story

Is it possible to both be flanderized and woobified at the same time? There is a lot of "removing his responsibility for his actions" but can we get better jokes than "hehe Microtransgolor hehe scammer egg”

Always an uwu soft boy. Like no that is a criminal not a catboy.

Bro would never be intimidated by Magolor

Marx

People either portray him as a edgy sociopath or constantly bored and annoyed. Portraying him as an adult or a teen kinda annoys me as well. I'm very picky about portrayals of Marx so don't get upset if you portray him as one of these I've listed.

Sometimes I see people only joking about the "hungry so he came along" thing with Marx and it's pretty overdone

They took one look at him and said “to the insane asylum bitch”. I don’t think he’s some crazy murder hobo rather a dude with questionable morals and puts his own mischief and fun before others it seems. Though Marx is indeed one of the least “character” characters when I mean he doesn’t have much depth in comparison to other characters. But you could do anything else than have him follow the Jevil path of him being crazy. Make him evil? Sure. Make him a cringefail idiot? Sure. Make him a crybaby bitch? Go ahead. But making him the definition of what a 14 year old white girl in New Jersey that probably is addicted to Instagram and thinks Webtoon comics are the highest level of art and storytelling’s definition of insane doesn’t cut it cuz. Slapping the spaz label without a thought of what’s being done on a character who fits the mark makes the Schizoid peeved who coulda known. As this is all coming from the one person who has likely ruined Marx’s character the most for Kirblur by making him a somewhat empathetic manchild who clings to both pipe dreams of normality and being a monster btw. (Also this doesn’t mean jokes, you can joke about him being a psycho like Jerma it’s when it’s taken 100% seriously is when it’s bad).    Also to add on, Woobification of Marx or any Kirby character period CAN be annoying if taken too far. I take full responsibility in the fact my variant is also woobifed to an extent but that train full of ticking bombs doesn’t bother me as much. Make him sadcry and be gay he deserves both those things. Send him to sad hell with the rest of them.

To the anon above... What?

Making him stupid or reducing him to just Silly Clown. Or just having him act in purely impulsive or spontaneous ways (which sometimes happens when juxtaposed with a more "collected" character like Magolor).

Daroach

this is something i’ve noticed specifically in chatfics, but when daroach is in the ensemble some of them tend to designate him as the Goofy Meme Dumbass for… idk, fandom quota? i really don’t know why it happens because he has a bunch of canon dialogue (and alternate continuity stuff like the novels) that show him to be cool and clever. i’m not saying he can’t have a sense of humor or anything (he’s definitely the type to have a bunch of quips), but it sucks when he’s mischaracterized because the fandom doesn’t give him that much attention as is. if you NEED a silly haha guy, marx is right there!”

Morpho Knight

"Morpho Knight is a creature of mercy. It's a benevolent entity putting tired souls to rest." NO?! I'm going to copy-paste some stuff I put in a post of my own. A while back, SYZekrom on Reddit translated Morpho Knight's entry, and it contains some... interesting information. Allow me to provide some excerpts. "He’s a red knight with butterfly wings, continuing from a pair of white wings like an angel’s, and a pair of azure wings with a bit of an evil feel." This is the first of two instances where Morpho Knight is outright stated to be evil. There's also stuff in the art book that supports my theory that Galacta and Morpho are permanently fused and the former is not dead, but I don't want to get carried away. These are its gacha figure descriptions in Forgotten Land: "The fluttering fiend that casts judgment upon final battles is drawn toward the isolated isles of Forgo Dreams. There, it feasts on the most powerful soul it finds and takes the fearsome form of a scarlet-clad knight… Let the most challenging battle of this new world begin!" –English "One of the dreaming birds, which are said to pass judgement upon decisive battles, drifts towards a forgotten, isolated isle as if summoned. There, it sips upon the strongest Soul and descends as a red knight. Finally, welcome the dusk… of the deadliest battle in this New World!"  –Japanese While at first glance there doesn't seem to be any information of note, the "fluttering fiend" bit in the English version is outright stating Morpho Knight is evil, and the phrase "he deadliest battle in this New World" doesn't sound particularly heroic. But I digress... Morpho is NOT a good person! This is clearly leading up to a villain vs hero confrontation! Which, may I add, implies that reaping Galacta Knight wasn't necessarily a good thing for it to do?!

Elfilis

elfilis is NOT entirely malicious. they would gladly accept hugs and kisses. being in a fucking capsule ALONE and AWARE for likely CENTURIES will DO SOMETHING TO YOU YOU KNOW?? god fucking DAMN dude... and after the ending of the true arena in the game, WILLINGLY GAVE THEMSELF UP TO ELFILIN. also they're not fucking DEAD you PSYCHOPAYHS elfilis is STILL VERY MUCH ALIVE!!!!!!! RUUAAAGGGH!!!!!!!!!!

Susie

Being Evil or being a Sad uwu girl who has had bad things happen to her seems to be the only way most people can portray this character.

Susie isn't a friend. She's selfish and wanted to take over the company. Her "redemption" is pointing Kirby at the world-ending machine, gives him armor, and then stands around. She doesn't even know his name. The closest she does for good is tell Kirby to do something he would've done on his own.

My girl really became the subject of hate thanks to a mistranslation. I mean yeah she likes robots and shit but the fact that people think she is a terrible person and that she's still colonizing planets makes me upset. i blame the translation team for everything.

When people say she has fully redeemed herself and is reduced to cishet, pretty girl??? Like no, star allies mistranslation my ass you fell for her corporate propaganda. The female characters in this franchise, while lovable, is not nearly as popular as a lot of the male ones. HAL literally gave us a morally grey girlboss who we can still sympathise with. She actually feels like a very real character in this fictional world.

You Know How People Are About Her

she's not even my blorbo!!!!!! everyone thinks she's a huge evil bitch who has done terrible genuinely unspeakable things. i read a fic that went on and on abt the horrible things she "did" to meta knight when he was mechanized (things so bad i cant even say) and i was pulling my hair out she did not fucking do any of that!!!! yes the universe can have pretty dark moments but good lord people only use her to woobify meta knight and give fuel to ship him with others and it pisses me off lol. or people go too far the other way and woobify HER to ship with him and aughhhh no one has a shred of media literacy. she's not purely good or purely evil she's such a complex character who did bad things because she was in a bad situation and the best example of a morally grey character who's on no one's side but herself and that will always be more interesting that 100% good or 100% evil. once again she's not even my blorbo but i've never seen a character butchered this badly by a fandom

Because of mistranslation (from what I've heard) Susie's whole mechanizing planets has been the number one thing when it came to susie hate and the only reason as to why people hate this girl so much. Honestly Susie's character has been fucked up immensely and no one has such a divided spread of opinions like she does. Some people brush away her backstory and make her a soulless being with no love whatsoever.

Oh my god. Oh my god. Susie Haltmann. I cannot with the fandom interpretations anymore. It's ridiculous how bad they've gotten. Susie is a two dimensional character. I absolutely despise seeing people portray her as some sort of greedy capitalist bastard and "the one with the braincell". In canon, she's consistently been portrayed as a sweet person (with a knack for violence, but EVERYONE in this series is like that). Everything bad she did in Planet Robobot was FOR WORK and the will of HER FATHER, and even if she did want to do the things she did, she's clearly not doing them any more. The "mechanizing planets and peoples" line in Star Allies is a mistranslation. And the "punishing savages" doesn't have to mean anything bad. It could mean she's punishing evildoers with her money and resources. In fact, I've seen some translations put it like that And Meta Knight... is just the straw that broke the camel's back. Oh lord. Why does everyone insist that he hates her? There's the little scene in Star Allies... but god, that isn't canon, it's clearly a joke. If anything, Susie might have been trying to talk to him and he was just trying to avoid her in a misinterpretation of the situation. It's supposed to be funny. Why are you imposing this onto people like this automatically makes Susie a devil incarnate and anything involving those two characters in problematic? Just shut up.

Meta Knight

Everyone thinks he’s just the ‘edgy character’ or ‘the uncaring mentor figure’ while in actuality he really does care for Kirby (and Bandana Dee) more than anyone gives him credit for!

Everyone either makes him all broody and lonesome, like shadow the hedgehog or batman; or they make him a goofy dad, like Dedede or Hugh Neutron. In reality, he's a weird uncle with unknown motivations, simultaneously selfish and practical. Also, he doesn't hide the fact that he likes sweets, he eats them away from everyone so no one steals them (Dedede and Squeak Squad).

He's not Kirby's fucking dad! He's an irresponsible uncle that hands out swords! And he is definitely in love with dedede, he is the only other dramatic bitch willing to build a skyscraper to beat up kirby (I am using intense anger for comedic effect) 

HES A FUCKING TWINK ASS FRUITY ASS MOTHERFUCKING CRINGEFAIL MAN. HE NEEDS TO HAVE HIS PERSONALITY INTERPRETED AS BOTH THE MANGA AND THE GAMES. YES HE IS MYSTERIOUS BUT HE ALSO WOULD TRIP AND FALL OVER HIMSELF. I NEED STAR ALLIES KICKING SWORD PISSED. I NEED MANGA ROSES BITCHASS META. I NEED THAT PARTICULAR VERSION OF MY BOY meat knight RIGHT NOW. meta knight is cringefail. half of the fandom agrees the other half does not. im explode.

He wants to look cool so bad but he is actually a huge fucking goofy goober. Any representation of Meta Knight being a badass is propaganda made by Meta Knight himself to convince you he’s cool. I mean have you seen his RTDL Deluxe pause screen description? King Dedede’s and Bandana Dee’s are in first person, but his is in third person? He’s literally talking about himself in the third person like hello????? Meta Knight is such a fucking lame goofy little man who thinks he’s the most badass motherfucker on the planet.

To fair this has been less common lately but back during 2014-2016 MK was usually portrayed in fanart/fanfic as either this wise veteran or cold edgelord. He is just an unhindged!!! Silly!!! Guy!!! He can be cool and cringefail!!! But he is also compassionate in his own aloof, awkward way!!! 

i am not a big fan of the metadede ship. i think people are shipping for the sake of having a ship and nothing else. As someone with a severely underrepresented orientation (aromantic and asexual), when I see a character I like, I will project onto said character. This is the case with my interpretation of Meta Knight. I saw a cool character that I liked who a) doesn’t have any canon love interests and b) didn’t really need a whole ton of friends/significant others to be happy with life. Meta Knight always seemed to be perfectly content with the friends he has on Popstar and his crew and everyone in the anime, so I looked to him for hope that I could live the same way. I was open to the metadede ship at first, but as time passed, I felt less and less comfortable with it. It seemed to me that people were so hungry for gay ships that they just pulled this one out of thin air courtesy of Kirby Fighters 2, which is to my knowledge the only piece of media that somewhat supports this. Why can’t people just be happy with MK and Dedede being friends or frenemies? I’m probably starting drama with this bc I know how popular metadede is on Tumblr so I apologize for upsetting you if that is the case.  But I also feel that I shouldn’t apologize just because I have a different opinion.

I dislike how "pathetic" the fandom has made him out to be. I don't like it when he's portrayed as overpowered but... "pathetic, whiny manlet" could not be further from the truth. How did we get to that?

Kirby

Often people make Kirby more dependent on others than he actually is. He's an extremely independent person that literally cannot be stopped by anyone who tries to get in his way

ik its been covered to death but matpat made that video about how kirby is evil and completely ignored the themes of friendship and kindness that are present throughout the entire series

dude hes not a baby. he drinks in the manga adukt kirbies are a fine interp god. and hes not a godkiller or some shit he just fights for his friends hes not some terrifying monster kirby is literally just some friendly guy. strong yeah but just some guy. he fights strong entities incidentally lol

The anime portrays them as a literal infant, and due to its overprevalence (despite not being in the same stream of canon as the games), this is often their characterization in the fandom.  Canonically, they indeed are a child (at most, they'd probably be a teen in the modern games), but they are old enough to talk, and they demonstrate a high amount of emotional and even technical intelligence.

Admittedly, this is one that usually only happens to people outside the fandom, but it bugs me when people portray Kirby as a sort of immoral monster who only does good things on accident. When it’s quite the opposite! He may not be incredibly bright, but he does his best to help people. Oddly enough, there’s not many cases of “he would not say that” in the fandom for me because of how loose Kirby’s story is. It is lore heavy but the actual characters aren’t super concrete save for a few and I think that’s perfectly fine

People forget that their air bullet!! is an attack!! its literally one of their only ways of dealing damage in DL1!!! I’m looking at you Smash Bros!!! Why isn’t it their nair?????????

making them a toddler who cant speak for themself

I swear everyone outside of the fandom sees Kirby as either a braincell infant or  a merciless force of mass destruction

Taranza

WHAT DIDN'T THEY DO!?!?!? Taranza, as we see him in Triple Deluxe, is such a fun villain. He's dramatic, arrogant, a total suck-up to Sectonia, and it's so. Fucking. Good. He's a devious bastard, he monologues!!! His animations in the Clash games are so fucking campy and dramatic it's chefs kiss!!!! Fanon Taranza is as plain as white bread. Sometimes as pale as it, looking at some of the gijinkas. No shade though! As little shade as there is melanin in him lmAO- He is flanderised to hell and back. There are so. Many. Fucking. Taranzas who happen to be nothing but sad and weepy about his evil dead wife. Where's the bite!!! The pizzazz!!! Even in canon, when he is a bit of a wet sack later on, he still hunts for an altar he can bring her back on. My boy's a wannabe necromancer!!! Write that shit in your lost lenore Sectonia fic you fucking cowards Queen's Phantom ain't just for show. The above is also evidence for woobification! The fucker is obviously sad his crush is dead! But can we pleeease focus on anything else. This is definitely not targeted at Hal Labs. Imagine being woobied so hard your creators backtrack your personality I would just die. "Ehehe he's the responsible mage!!" No the fuck he isn't he can't be trusted with anything he tries take control it WILL blow up in his face. He knows magic he's good at magic but is he responsible??? Fuck no my man's strongest attack is "Blow myself the fuck up via a giant burst of magic" and it shreds. Even worse is the "Taranza got mind-controlled by Sectonia" theory in tandem with this. That wasn't confirmed right. Right. God I hope not that would be embarrassing. He can't even have a moment to realise his devotion has gone too far and she doesn't love him or even care for him, and he has to finally make that decision to free himself from her like ain't that cool!!! And then making him all sad over her afterwards it's just a Little Fucked if you're tryna put it all together eh. Eh. And he's not suuuper objectified (That usually goes to Seccy rest in piss girlie) but the way he's treated in some ships is. Eugh. Fucking Magoranza amirite he's basically there to look responsible and cute (I've already explained my issue with this) and to fix the tortured soul who is Magolor (I do not like Magolor. Nor Magoranza.) Tbh Sectaranza does the same he's there to be tragic because his girlie's dead. When you give him less personality than the dead cardboard cutout you know you fucked up. Anyways these ramblings are here to remind you what Hal Labs stole from us: Taranza but not a TOTAL saddo. Theatre kid Taranza. Arrogant prick. He's even British.

For the anon above me, I just wanted to say that this entry is probably my favorite and lives rent free in my mind.

I'm definitely guilty of it and it's all we have to go off of but PLEASE he needs more than to be Sad. Give him hobbies and interests that aren't just gardening, at least. Make stuff up about him, please!

So, SO many people make him an absolute crybaby over Sectonia. Even though, yes, he has grief problems, it's not his whole freaking personality. Pretty sure they're forgetting the fact that he LITERALLY HELPED KILL HER.

Taranza is not just a little pathetic guy!! He’s a bitch— a little schemer if you will !!! He’s smug—he’s formal—he’s a little fucker!!! Taranza needs a new partner and that partner is me

Oddly enough I do think people make him out to be a bit too much of a goody two shoes. Like he has done some mean things in the past and it wasn’t all Sectonia’s fault, he literally *stole* the Dimensional Mirror after all. Don’t get me wrong I think he’s a good person in the end, but cmon. He has committed crimes

Taranza in some corners of the fandom has kinda been turned into this forever crying baby who can never recover from losing Joronia and like, I never see people who do that write about the recovery and being able to move on to the final stage of grief.

HE IS NOT A SIMP, MY GOD

Everyone needs to stop reducing him to pathetic simp. He is allowed to grieve but he's probably one of the more mature characters within the series???

People disregard everything else about his character to make his tragic relationship with sectonia his only character trait. Not sure if this quite counts as woobifying since he does canonically still mourn her (and obviously seeing a close friend/crush go down the path of self destruction and ultimately die from it WOULD NOT be something you'd get over quickly). But I'm so tired of taranza in fanart and the like being an uwu softboy with Crying as his main character trait. Like he's canonically more than that! He goes full cocky villain mode when you confront him near the end of triple deluxe and he can pack a punch in star allies with his magic! If you're going to write about him prove that you don't just know about the guy from twitter artwork!

And here’s a graph!

Anyways, thanks everyone for your submissions! What I’ve learned here is important: We’re all fucking delusional.

[howlingday]

Divine Schnee-Over

Weiss: Ugh! How can commoners sleep in such menial comfort?

Bleiss: It's not that bad.

Weiss: It's humiliating! And absurd! I, Weiss Schnee, heiress to the Schnee family name, attending a motel slumber party like some teenage harlot?

Bleiss: Okay, you are upsetting Stuffy Whitley, and he is NOT vibing with a single word you're saying.

Weiss: ...I'm going to bed.

Bleiss: Oh, come on, really?!

Weiss: (Under covers) Good night.

Bleiss: But sleepovers are supposed to be fun! Don't you want to, I don't know, watch a movie or play video games or order a pizza or even prank call a boy~?

Weiss: A Schnee has no time for such trivial activities. Good night, Bleiss.

Bleiss: Can you at least get the light before you-

Weiss: (Freezes lamp, Short circuits it)

Bleiss: Yeah, that- That works, too...

Bleiss: ...

Bleiss: What about karaoke?

Weiss: Why are you still up?! You do realize that it's almost midnight, right?!

Bleiss: Stuffy Whitley and I are thinking about things to do~. What do you think, Stuffy Whitley~?

Weiss: How about you both go to sleep?!

Bleiss: But we ordered pizza!

Weiss: (Flips covers) Excuse me?! Why would you-

Weiss: Is that pepperoni?

Bleiss: EXTRA pepperoni~.

Weiss: Oh, you bitch!

--------------------------------------------------

Weiss: Alright, let's keept his simple. This boy is a moron, right? So anything should work, really.

Bleiss: Oh, I've got this. Watch and learn~. (Dials scroll)

Sun: (Via scroll) Team SSSN! Team leader Sun speaking~!.

Bleiss: Oh, Sun, I'm afraid I've got some bad news~.

Sun: Huh? Weiss? You got a cold or something?.

Bleiss: It seems your LonelyHunters account just got hacked and everyone knows about your secret foot fetish~.

Sun: My Lonely-What? Weiss, are you pranking me?.

Weiss: (Watches Stuffy Whitley sink away, Watches him sink into shadows)

Bleiss: Oh, come on, are you really that stupid?! Why don't you touch some grass, banana brain?! Mabe learn a thing or two?

Sun: Oh, yeah, Weiss? You know I'm gonna touch? Your mom's fat tits! Hell, I just might grab her ass, too! Again! Now stop wasting my time with this bullshit!. (Hangs up)

Weiss: (Blinks, Stuffy Whitley next to her) You know, I don't have any idea what any of that meant. But it was kind of fun.

Bleiss: Not only did we potentially ruin a marriage, but we also made Jacques Schnee a cuck while doing it~.

Weiss: I see~.

Bleiss: Modern problems require modern solutions. Dumb bastard is probably looking up LonelyHunters right now. You're welcome, Mr. Wukong.

Weiss: The common folk are fools and easy to manipulate. Though, I still prefer Atlesian Conquest~.

Bleiss: You mean genocidal colonization?

Weiss: Well, yes, but I like Atlesian Conquest because it sounds better and makes it sound morally just.

Bleiss: Uh... Sure, let's go with that.

Weiss: (Eats pizza) God damn, this shit is bussin'!

Bleiss: Facts!

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: A Fable

[mysterious circle of robed figures] JK Rowling: hello children Rowling: today i want to introducce a very sspecial guessst- john boyne Rowling: author of the boy in the sstriped pajamassss John Boyne: ahem, that's the boy in the striped pajamas colon a fable Boyne: get it right!

Boyne: listen up people Boyne: Here’s a tip for anyone interacting with a novelist online Boyne: you can say our books suck   Boyne: you can call us bad writers Boyne: you can say we’re stupid, ugly or fat Boyne: you can say we're bald Boyne: you can say that we're lazy...

Boyne: you can say that we're plagiarists Boyne: you can say that we whitewash history Boyne: you can say that our work actively makes people dumber Rowling: where are you going with thiss Boyne: hold on i'm working up to something Boyne: you can say that we smell bad

Boyne: you can say that we're liars Boyne: you can say that we're pigs Boyne: but the one thing you cannot say is that we're cis Rowling: Rowling: well sssaid! well sssaid!

John Boyne: look, i wrote this really sympathetic book about how hard it is to be related to a trans person Boyne: i mean, if you think about it, being related to a trans person is really hard Boyne: probably harder than being trans Boyne: that just stands to reason

Boyne: anyway the trans didn't appreciate my hard work, so i don't like them now Rowling: how do you feel about the jewsss after they didn't appreciate the boy in the sstriped pajamass Boyne: ahem you mean the boy in the striped pajamas colon a fable Rowling: yess yess of coursse

Boyne: look i just think it's my duty to speak to the true victims of the holocaust Boyne: SS officers who might be really sad if they accidentally killed their sons when they meant to kill jews Boyne: i'm getting misty just thinking about it Boyne: [wiping tear] those poor guys

Boyne: i don't believe in the word cis Boyne: i just thought it was really important i weigh in on this controversy Boyne: this is in no way a diversion from my other scandals Boyne: my new book is about a guy trying to buy lamp oil, rope & bombs but he doesn't have enough rubies

[atla-confessions]

The fact that white zutaras felt completely comfortable making "Colonize my pussy" jokes about a little brown girl seriously gives me the ick. Like... oh, that's just white women laughing at blatant racism. Again. People get so brave with their "edgy humor".

As a brown woman, wtf is this? Where's this energy when Sokka 'a little brown boy' is being sexualized and called a backbender? Or when Aang is sexualized and his fans say he can 'get whatever he wants' for saving the world?

I'm tired of shippers especially Kataang shippers using us for your shitty little ship war and pretending to defend us. Stop. You don't actually care about us and we only matter when it's convenient to your stupid arguments.

X

[readreactrant]

I watched Code Geass but before I get to my short rant about the show and the ship you can pretty much guess this is about…. Let me just say….

This show peaked at the pseudo incest brocon subplot, I'm taking no arguments!

Fine, fine, that's definitely not entirely true but Rolo's death had me pausing the show and staring at the screen like for what reason?! Let the boy be hopelessly obsessed goddammit 😭😭😭

Now I've gotten that out of my system…

Guess who's the character I hate most?

shocker I know/sarc

I haven't hated one half of my otp ship in a piece of media this much since that one Episode Nagi panel of Reo's heart getting destroyed by Nagi's dumbass (Reo my love love I'd treat you so much better)

Suzaku's case is worse by several degrees because his idiocy and attitude only continued to stoke the flames of my annoyance for the whole two fucking seasons until like the three or two episodes at the end cause oh my fucking God I cried.

(That shit was a wild ride enough nothing is making me watch any spin offs or side stories I care that little)

From the first moment he entered that Lancelot suit and agreed to help the side that attempted to silence him by murder, I clocked his ass and marked him as the dumbest bitch to ever exist but we love a protective loyal dog Top don't we ladies?

"I want to change the system from the inside-" bitch shut up these are colonizers you ain't changing nothing 😭

Even after they they tried pining the murder on him to sentence him to death AGAIN!! BOY WENT BACK.

AND!

He refused Zero?!

HUH?!?

Now I'm not a particularly patriotic person (I hate my county so so much) but if we got neo colonized, No matter what merits I would never be friendly or cooperative with the other side.

Suzaku stopped his country fighting back (valid reason or not I don't remember, he killed his dad and that meant surrender ig) and proceeded to kiss up to brits, fall in love with one of them, and further hinder every attempt of his own people fighting back because 'Violence wrong' but it's okay when he does it because some made up ideal told him being subservient would make a change. And it did….just for him tho, all other 11s? no one cares.

And it didn't even matter because Lulu's methods were always the ones that brought things closer!

I know it's a kind of a commentary on something, I ain't stupid but I was still pissed.

Literally had me gritting my teeth almost every time he stepped on screen, especially when he went pseudo emo after becoming a knight of round or whatever.

Bottom line, he frustrated me as much as he did Lelouch but I still wanted to see them FUCK.

The last couple of episodes where genuinely the best things I've ever watched and a brilliant end to the series. I wouldn't say I grew to enjoy all the characters but God did the plot threads keep me going.

Trust I understood very little about the gate shit and the killing God aspect but when you're having a fun time everything just looks good.

To sum up SuzaLulu…

Giving me friends to enemies to lovers (correct me not I won't hear you) All mixed together with the palpable hatred and vitriol they held toward each other is just too much.

And Lelouch as a bottom is literally my type >.< psycho, pretty, and bad at sports (also having a natural inclination to dominate others)??? SIGN ME THE FUCK UP!!!

His dramatic ass had me gripped and his personality contrasted so beautifully with Suzaku's dumbass that while I did want to be sad about that redhead he might have liked dying….girl bye 👋 make way for the gay 🏳️‍🌈

(Srsly tho, I was sad for a sec, it was a very shocking scene to say the least but Rolo pulled such a Brocon move I was laughing for a solid minute.)

I very much didn't want to be like most other yaoi shippers that watched this shit when they were ten and went for the very obvious but still delicious low hanging fruit yaoi but I see enemies to lovers mixed with tragic yaoi and an undeniably fun story and brain stops functioning lmaooo. Turns out I'm very much like other fujins ;p

Closing thoughts: Umm…If you're going to defend Suzaku in the replies…go for it I'm down to listen but he'll forever be my bitch. I love Lelouch but Light is better, Orange x Lelouch is underratedand C.C. and Kallen should have gotten married.

[r7-b7]

Indigenous casual Star Wars fan Hot Takes

The women deserve to live.

The mothers deserve to live.

Trans/Aro/Ace/Intersex characters: we need them. They exist. They have always existed. We need more.

Creators need to hire indigenous actors and artists. Stop just being "influenced" by us and our stories- offer to work with us, and adequately compensate us.

Almost all SW media fans the flames of unregulated White Boy Emotions. Not only encouraging but rewarding Creep behavior and the White women who hold the hands of supremacist genocidal White men. You've gotta do mental gymnastics and 3 paragraphs of his "trauma" to try to justify their femicide.

The Empire moved so seamlessly into power partially because The Republic was already an empire with a galactic militarized police force that people felt they had no chance fighting against. Similar bone structure.

Dave Filoni's Ahsoka costume choices until she's an adult and wears appropriate battle outfits. At 14 she wears a tube top, upgraded to an upper cleavage cut out, whatever perv. He was wrong for that, that was a deliberate choice made again and again until it was retconned in live action. The dedication to the white male gaze and sexualization/adultification of indigenous and Black girls is sickening and prevalent in US media.

The Jedi Order was responsible for aiding the colonization of thousands of worlds on behalf of the Republic.

The Jedi Order is based on a barely-not-a-Boomer cishet white man's perception of a bunch of religions/spiritualities and then applied to fantasy space cops, colonizer mentality is oozing out of the cracks.

People who get really mad about the criticism of the Jedi are usually White and men.

These are only "hot takes" because Star Wars is catered to White Supremacy and those who uphold it.

---

Some people have a BIG issue when I talk about Star Wars and colonizers/aiding colonization. So here you go straight from your Lord Lucas's mouth:

“I have a strong feeling about interesting kids in space exploration. I want them to want it. I want them to get beyond the basic stupidities of the moment and think about colonizing Venus and Mars. And the only way it's going to happen is to have some dumb kid fantasize about it — to get his ray gun, jump in his ship and run off with this wookie into outer space. It's our only hope in a way."

Got an issue? Block me, and be gone. This wasn't for you.

[punkeropercyjackson]

Zutara arguments be like

Dadko is canon therefore Momtara should be too(Zuko being the Team Dad of the Gaang was a sign of character development by healing his inner child and breaking the cycle of abuse while Mom Friend Katara is a compulsive trauma induced trait she's always talking about hating and wanting to be just a kid)

Aang is too immature for Katara so Zuko is better fit for her(See above)

Katara can only like brown guys(Jet and Haru)as a stepping stone to Zuko or it's #problematique and not real interracial rep

They used to hate eachother so it's destiny

Red x blue and sun x moon(Symbolism with zero in-universe romantic connecations and afaik not common irl ones either)

Zuko is a boy and Katara is a girl=Opposites attract because complimentary

"Ugh i wish i didn't try to get oppressed for saying Zuko is STRAIGHT,i hate you STUPID GAYS"

Mai is a girl with the same personality as Zuko and this means she's abusive because REAL girls don't bite back or have non-quirky emotions

"Aang sexually assaulted Katara by kissing her and her and Zuko have repressed sexual feelings for eachother-No i am not a pedophile for refusing to not associate children with sex,why are you such an abuse apologist omg!!!"

Katara was a teenage anarchist with a gnc bf who was previously her first ever and also best friend instead of Zuko's rebellious gf he taught to truly understand him and to not judge a person just by their actions and beliefs but rather how much they fit into beauty standards and how hard their childhood was so the entire Atla crew are self-inserters who hate women

Calling Korrasami forced pandering bs and Asami a badly written character who's inherently colorist and overhyped in the fandom

Completely ignoring Ty Luko both as the most supported non-canon Zuko ship in-text and as a fandom rarepair so they can say every Zutara anti just has internalized misogyny while also being revolted by Aang's femininity and multigender/transfem egg hcs for him and even Zuko ironically enough despite claiming to love them for being 'a female fantasy'

"I'm [insert non native american/indigenous type of poc here] and i had crush on Zuko SO WE WERE ALL ROBBED!WHY DOES EVERYBODY CALL ME A COLONIZER APOLOGIST,ALL I SAID WAS KAT IS A CUTER NAME THAN KATARA!"

[bogbees]

i love Trinity Blood but if it gets popular in 2024 i will not be able to stand it. modern anime fans can not and will not be able to deal with any of it. the pope is a 20 yr old baby boy. there's hot 2000 lbs robot men going around killing vampires in the name of the Catholic church. Dietrich and the Radu are there. there's super toxic yaoi. not to mention the age gaps are like. 2000 yr old failed mars colonization human test subject and 16 yr old girl who happens to be the long lost crown princess to england who is a devout nun. neo nazis are the main bad guys.

i love it. formative media. Esther, Ion Fortuna duke of Memphis, Seth and Asta Duchess of Kiev, my stupid priests Tres, big sexy (Leon). but god.