#TEW Day 4

[meadowlarkx]

grief and pride - embroidery for @tolkienekphrasisweek day 4, Gardening & Landscape Architecture! I was thinking about memory and how Elves might tell of particular places in adornments on clothing (imagining both of these designs on sleeves.)

First: Years of the Trees Fëanorian ornamentation, reminders of the Gardens of Lórien where Míriel lay, with Finwë's crest.

Second: Late First Age or Second Age Iathrim ornamentation, reminders of Menegroth and the First Kinslaying.

welcome to 'more photos and rambles at length'!!

Working on these little guys for a while I had time to think a fair amount about them. The concept of being literally clothed in one's sorrows feels very Elven and Tolkien to me. It's something about the long years and accumulating griefs, laying claim to and embodying them (powerful!), and the accompanying actions and grudges, and it's a thread that runs through both these groups. Fëanor is one of the first in the narrative to have this sort of memory/shadow on his heart, that of Míriel's passing. I love the similarities and connections between him and Míriel and the way she haunts the story, so I really enjoy the idea of Fëanor (and his sons!) reminding everyone of her absence subtly or unsubtly at every chance, including with their clothing--a mark of family loyalty which is also a nice fuck you to Indis and her children. Lórien is lush and verdant with golden flowers and mountain immortelle, don't @ me silvery tolkiengateway descriptions. I wanted this one to feel bright and vivid to echo the noontide of Valinor and the family's pride and brilliance. Finwë's crest got included in the design partly because it's less complicated than Fëanor's crest (shh), but also because I can completely see Fëanor making a(nother) claim to heirdom by wearing it.

Then of course he sets in motion greater horrors to remember. I am always thinking (@swanmaids has a great post about this) of the support Elwing canonically has in Sirion for her decision not to relinquish the Silmaril. And after seeing the 2nd kinslaying, it had to be a difficult, brave, potentially very controversial decision to hold on to it, but people are with her on this--I imagine motivated partly by real anger and grief over all they had lost and insistence upon memory, pride, dignity, identity etc. which probably remain with the few who survive the Sirion kinslaying too. And remembering Menegroth's beauty goes hand-in-hand with the grief--so I went for a bleaker look here, not the deep forest I usually picture (the 2 green vines, though, symbolizing in my head the surviving royal family/Peredhel!). This design being more of a picture of the place and less "abstract" was an attempt to gesture towards some cultural and stylistic differences in art, etc. I know this one isn't exactly a garden, but if we squint all of Doriath is an enclosed garden, so...!

Also here are the other pics. I'm imagining them bigger, but they are pretty little in real life!

[foamimi]

some Joseb content in the new house I spent literally 4+ hours building (UGH!) 

bonus more heated kissing below the cut:

[chryblossomjjk]

practice (pt. 3) | jjk

⇢ PAIRING: fuckboy!jk x inexperienced reader

⇢ RATING/GENRE: m/18+ | college au, fwb, smut, fluff, angst

⇢ WC: 12.8k sorry

⇢ WARNINGS: emotional at points, fighting rip, oc lowkey in her villain era, they both say mean things to eachother (nothing tew intense), jk is not a himbo >:(, characters are forced to face their insecurites </3, misunderstandings, finger sucking, oral sex (f and m recieving), 69 action if u squint, brief ass eating, a little manhandling, titty sucking (obvi), flavored lube, butt plug moment, miss hitachi is finally here !!!, unprotected sex, corruption kink, squirting, overstimulation, slight dom jk, a bit of manhandling, praise, creampie, maybe unrequited love, maybe not (lol jk u'll find out), where's waldo but instead of waldo its bam

⇢ SUMMARY: sparks fly as you try to forget about jungkook.

⇢ NOTES: it’s finally here! if you haven't read pt 2 in a while, i'd suggest rereading it before reading this part! maybe even pt 1 bc callbacks. you might miss a few things if you don't. kinda nervy to post this bc everyone was so conflicted. hopefully the ending is satisfying for all. also sorry if the smut is meh, this piece was more plot driven than other things i’ve written. thank you so much for the love and support on this series. seriously cannot thank you guys enough. very bittersweet to be saying goodbye to it but i hope you stick around. love you and as always feedback is v appreciated !! big ty to @floweryjeons for betaing !!

⇢ SERIES MASTERLIST

dumbo do u want lunch? i can drop it off in about 30

You were midway through a three hour lab and you really needed to focus. Unfortunately, the professor’s droning was easily overtaken by incessant vibrating. You peek at your phone with a scoff before shoving it back into your pocket. 

Jungkook doesn’t get the hint.

dumbo i’ll just get the usu

dumbo lol i forget… ur lab is in room 305 in the civic engagement building right?

Room 222 in the science building. You don’t correct him, though. 

It was difficult to ignore the sharp, self-inflicted stabs that pierced through your back whenever he texted you. But you had to rip the bandaid off before it had time to adhere to you entirely. You hadn’t talked to him in days. Not since he lied to you.

Whenever you had the urge to respond, you went through memories. Pictures of him looking unamused, pink pout scrunched up as you smushed his cheeks together. Videos of his nostrils fluttering as blaring snores filled your dorm room; your soft giggles in the background.

Little snapshots of the present that were now the past. 

You were slowly weaning yourself off of Jeon Jungkook.

Your phone goes off again during your break. 

dumbo hey i’ve been waiting for like 20 min

dumbo gonna head out since ur probably caught up. free until about 4 tho so text me if u want anything i’ll come back

dumbo or we can just get something after the showcase?

dumbo are you running late?

dumbo you know it starts at 7p right?

dumbo ik you hate being late so i’m starting to get nervous…

dumbo just let me know that you’re safe please

Those texts were sent nearly three hours ago. You’ve tried to distract yourself with homework, Sailor Moon, and the watermelon mask you were currently washing off your face. Nothing helped. The guilt lingering in your chest was heavy and you wish it would trickle down the drain like the abandoned products. 

You sigh, shaking your hands vigorously to flick off the excess water. A damp knuckle presses your phone screen. It’s 10 p.m. on a Friday. Back at square one. 

The scent of your green tea moisturizer fills your nostrils as you glide the creamy substance over your skin. Fingertips dancing gently across the surface of your plump cheeks. The touch is soft and delicate, just like his was-

Intrusive thoughts make you want to remove your frontal lobe.

You try to remind yourself that although vibrant and dashing, Jungkook was anything but your knight in shining armor. Greedy. Disgusting. Selfish. Just like the rest of the men who tried to conquer the tall brick walls of your heart, mind, and body. 

You look at yourself in the mirror. Despite the brightening mask, your dewy skin was dull. The inner corners of your big eyes were overtaken by winding red branches. The thick black bags under them appear even heftier than your beloved Playboy duffel. Your plump lips are coated in your Laniege lip mask. It’s candy-flavored, but it doesn’t taste as sweet anymore. You look lifeless. 

Did cutting Jungkook off really affect you that badly?

Or perhaps you always looked like this, and the loss of him made you realize how truly gloomy and lackluster things were before.

For the past two months, your reflections were filled with pearly white teeth and crinkled eyes. Being with Jungkook was careless and irresponsible in all the right ways. Whenever you were with him, the negative thoughts that often plagued your mind were forgotten, and you were just… free. 

But look where that got you.

The sound of your phone pinging brings you back to reality. 

dumbo tae said that you’re home with mina…

Taehyung. What a little snitch. You’ll make sure that Mina punishes him adequately. 

dumbo not sure what your deal is but i’m fucking heated

“What do you know, Taehyung?” You sneer his name like a curse; the nasty ‘T’ word.

“I know everything,” he responds nonchalantly, flipping through his absolute mammoth of a textbook. He nods his head toward the guilty party beside him. “Your bestie told me.” 

“Liar!” Mina gasps, smacking his sweater-clad bicep. Her voice lowers immediately when Taehyung shushes her. You were in the library after all. She looks at you exasperatedly. “I didn’t tell him like- ‘everything’ everything.”

“I don’t need to know everything.” He closes the hardcover book gingerly, peering at you over the thick black rim of his glasses. You’re convinced they’re a sham, and he only wears them to look professional and intellectual. “My keen deductive reasoning has led me to the conclusion that this situation is—in fact—fucking ridiculous.”

You gawk at bluntness. “Aren’t you literally studying to be a therapist?” 

“Psychiatrist,” he corrects with a cheesy grin. “I’m allowed to tell you when you’re being childish.”

“Tae, be nice.” Mina warns with a scowl, holding her index finger out right in front of his nose. “I know Jungkook is your friend, but he’s grimy.”

“I swear, I’m not trying to be a dick.”  Taehyung laughs, raising his hands up in surrender. “I’m just giving perspective. I care about you, __.”

“Sure you do.” You answer curtly, rolling your eyes. 

“And-,” Taehyung claps his large palms together, fingertips pointed towards you in an accusatory fashion. “-I know Jungkook better than both of you.” He gestures between you and Mina. “He’s not a bad dude.” 

“He-,”

“He ditched her to go to a party!” Mina beats you to the punch, voice whiny and frustrated. “And lied about it! He’s trash!”

“Thank you, Mina,” you whisper-shout, placing a finger over your lips to remind her, once again, that you were still in the library. As much as you love her, you didn’t necessarily want all of campus knowing your dirty laundry. Your eyes scan the dimly lit room for eavesdroppers. Luckily, it was fairly empty at this time of day. 

“Why don’t you just talk to him?” 

“It’s not that simple, Tae,” you sigh, turning your attention back to the empty word document on your laptop screen. In the twenty minutes you’ve been sitting here, you have only managed to type the essay’s title and your name. Spelled wrong. Sneakily, you correct the typo before anyone notices. 

“Maybe…” Mina starts, lips scrunching to the side in contemplation. She looks at her boyfriend innocently before tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear. Playing all the right cards. “Maybe… you could talk to him for her? Or do a little snoopy snoop to see what he’s up to?”

“There’s no way in hell I’m playing double agent for you guys.”  

“Come on, Tae!” Mina pouts. “It could be fun!”

“No,” Taehyung laughs, shaking his head. “I refuse to get in the mid-,”

“Hey!” 

Taehyung’s words are cut off by an uncomfortably familiar voice. Its usual soft, playful tone was laced with sternness. The sound makes your spine straighten. 

Jungkook. 

You were so distracted that you hadn’t heard his clunky black boots stomping towards you. The firm grip of tattooed fingers on your shoulder makes you look up. Even under the rim of his bucket hat, you can see the angry stars dancing in his black eyes. They’re hot and scalding with irritation. “Can we talk?”

“About?” You peep in feigned naivety. 

“Oh, please,” he scoffs loudly, laughing in disbelief. The seat beside you is yanked out with a startling screech. Jungkook plops down on it and turns to face you, knees digging into your outer thigh. Always so incredibly close. “Don’t give me that shit-,”

“Jungkook.” Taehyung calls, trying to stifle the bubbling lava in Jungkook’s stomach before he erupts. It was rare to see his happy-go-lucky friend so agitated. “Chill.”

His eyes soften at the warning. It’s like Jungkook hadn’t even registered how angry he had actually become. The entirety of his college experience has been spent distancing anger—and any other negative emotion—so far from his being that he couldn’t even detect the cues anymore. He inhales deeply through his nose, white t-shirt pulling tight at his chest, before exhaling. 

“You good?” Taehyung asks. 

“Yeah, I’m good.” Jungkook nods, bringing a hand up to massage slow circles into his temple. Despite how upset you are with him, the self-soothing mechanism makes your heart ache. “I promise, I’m calm. I just want to talk.”

His pupils dart between the two unmoving figures across from you.

“Alone, please.”

Jungkook and Taehyung lock eyes for a moment, communicating silently through some bro-telepathy that has you and Mina exchanging confused glances. Suddenly, the curly-haired boy nods, collecting his textbook and intertwining his fingers with Mina’s. “Let’s go, babe.”

“Tae, wait!” Mina protests, trying to wriggle out of Taehyung’s grasp. She looks at you apologetically as her boyfriend urges her towards the exit, unable to break free. “Call me after, okay?” She shoots Jungkook a threatening glare before turning away. 

And just like that, you were left alone with the man you’d been avidly avoiding for the past week and a half. 

“Are you mad at me?” Jungkook questions, silver piercing glimmering in the light as he gnaws on his bottom lip. The pink skin under his bunny teeth was already turning red. “Like… did I do something wrong?”

You look everywhere but him, mindlessly scrolling up and down the empty page on your laptop screen. It was a poor attempt to act unbothered, despite the heavy thumping in your chest. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“The showcase?”

“What about it?” 

Jungkook always took your attitude in stride, leveling your petty comments with kisses and playful eyerolls. This eye roll, however, paired with a painfully clenched jaw, is anything but playful. “Quit playing games, __. I’ve had enough,” he grits. 

He never calls you by your name. 

“Playing games,” you echo with a sarcastic laugh. In the pit of your stomach, you can feel the sadness morphing into a fit of heady anger. The words taste vile and sour on your tongue before they’re spewed at him. “That’s rich coming from you.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you can see the puzzled expression on his face. Eyebrow piercing twitching in confusion as the cogs in his brain spin, trying to make sense of your words. “I don’t understand…” 

How does he not understand?

“Why didn’t you come to the showcase?”

You huff out a sigh, gaze fluttering to the ceiling. 

“Answer me,” he urges, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, clearly trying to shift your attention back onto him. As if that wasn’t what landed you in this position in the first place.

“Jungkook-,” 

Your voice gets caught in your throat when you feel his sharp exhales fan across your cheek. Fast and restless. It makes you miss the deep, peaceful ones he would make when buried under your heavy duvet; hair disheveled from tossing and turning and the brush of your fingers as you lulled him to sleep. His breath smells like toothpaste and vanilla gum. You glance at your taskbar. It’s 12:23 p.m. and he hasn’t eaten yet.

“I didn’t go because this is unproductive,” you sigh, closing your laptop and finally gaining the courage to face the man beside you. “You being in my life is unproductive.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Unproductive.” When your eyes meet his big dark ones, you can’t stand them. You can’t stand him for what he’s done, for how he’s turned something so special to you, so ugly. It coaxes that equally ugly, scaly, green defensiveness out of you. You want to retreat, and rebuild the walls higher, so that your emotional security would never be destroyed again. Anyone who threatened it would be burned, including Jungkook, sitting before you with doe eyes as you prepared to breathe fire in his direction. “I know it’s a difficult word, but you’re a big boy. Sound it out.” 

The look on his face makes you regret the low blow instantly. 

“Jesus,” he huffs, taking his hat off and scrubbing his hands over his face like he’s trying to wake up from a nightmare. “Why are you being-”

You cringe, expecting a nasty insult.

“-so mean?”

Oh. 

Ow. 

For some reason, that hurt more than any curse word would. 

“I’m not mean.” 

“I know you’re not,” he lifts his head, searching your face for any remnant of the girl he’s spent the last two months with. “So why are you acting like this?”

Your silence eggs him further. 

“You know what, I’m so fucking sick of you treating me like I’m stupid,” his eyes squeeze closed when he swears, nails digging into his tattooed knuckles as he crosses his big hands. The confession rips through him and hits you like a physical blow. You suddenly remember all of the times you’ve teased Jungkook about his major or insulted his intelligence. 

‘What tests? You’re a photography major.’

‘You’re an idiot, Jungkook.’

‘Your major is showing.’

You didn’t mean any of it. Not one bit. They were just shitty efforts to conceal your feelings for him. You never realized that Jungkook was taking your comments to heart. But it was too little too late. You can’t turn back time and the floodgates have already opened. 

“Just because I’m not some big-shot science major, doesn’t mean that I’m fucking brainless. And it certainly doesn’t mean that you’re better than me.” With his hat sitting on the glossy wooden table, you can fully see the angry arch in his brows. The scrunch in his nose intensifies as he seethes. “What? You think you’re too good to go to the showcase? If you didn’t want to come you should’ve grown a pair and said something.”

“It’s not that,” you protest, chin quivering with ugly dents as you try to hold back tears. “I just… figured you’d bring someone else.”

Jungkook pauses for a moment, cogs coming to a halt when he finally comprehends your vague statements. “Stop acting like you can read my mind- or that you know me better than I know myself.” He snatches his hat and drops it back on his head, fingers gripping the rim to adjust the position. “Because you clearly don’t know shit about me.”

You watch silently as he scoots his chair back, standing up with urgency. How did things come to this? Two months ago you were casual friends, now you’re fighting in the middle of the school library. You would’ve never let him into your dorm room that night if you knew it would hurt this bad. 

“And I actually thought-,” Jungkook says, turning to face you. His lips open and then close promptly before he waves a hand at you. “Fuck it, nevermind. I’m done.” 

You look extremely suspect.

Speeding through campus with your hood up, sweater strings almost dangling to the floor with how tight you’ve pulled them. You can barely see where you’re going. The small fluffy peephole you’ve provided yourself is no good for navigating the winding halls of the dreaded liberal arts building. 

You’ve been sleeping in later and later; a recent habit. Most days you felt drained, barely able to muster the energy to crawl out of bed. That’s exactly what happened this morning, hence why you’re marching down this evil, forbidden shortcut, in hopes of making it to class on time. 

It’s a Tuesday. Jungkook doesn’t have classes on Tuesdays. But you’ve done everything in your power to avoid him and the places he frequents. You haven’t heard from him since the.. incident. Not a single text or call. It hurt like hell, but what did you expect? You weren’t exactly nice to him the last time you two spoke. And it wasn’t like he cared to begin with. He was probably already buried in someone else; moaning blissfully. Meanwhile, you can’t even leave your damn room without thinking about him. 

Shut up, evil brain. Back to the matter at hand—getting to class. 

You decide that music is the best method of distraction. An exaggerated sigh slips out as you yank your phone out of your pocket. You’re just about to crank your airpods up when a couple of distant voices catch your attention. 

“These are from this weekend's showcase, we’re taking them down next week…” A muffled response that you can’t comprehend. “Yep, all are my students.”

You stop dead in your tracks.

The professor’s prideful tone rings in your ears, drowning out whatever breakup playlist you were previously listening to. The mention of a showcase, the showcase, makes your heart drop with a painful thud. 

Fuck.

Your skull feels exponentially heavier than normal when you lift it, finally breaking eye contact with the dingy concrete floor underneath you. There are pictures hung all along the white walls of the campus center. No doubt leftover from an event you deliberately skipped. 

You roll your head back, attempting to loosen the uncomfortable tension in your muscles. Anxiously gnawing on your bottom lip, you take in your surroundings. Jittery hands pluck out your headphones and plop them back into your Luna-shaped airpod case. Underneath all the sadness and guilt, your body was teaming with curiosity. 

You never found out what Jungkook’s topic of choice was. And now that you think about it, you haven’t seen any of his photography. Ever. 

A quick look wouldn’t hurt, right?

Besides, maybe this was what you needed to move on. A final goodbye to the man who has held your mind captive for far too long. 

With a deep exhale and a heavy heart, you take the plunge and step forward. You lull along the walls, staring wide-eyed at each photo. Most of them take on a dark modern vibe, displaying people and objects in dreary settings. A sea of gray and black. Devoid of color. You glance at the labels above. The topics chosen were gloomy, too. 

Hm. Life imitates art. 

You wonder if those students have had their hearts broken as well. 

A vibrant splash of color makes you halt. Your eyebrows furrow as you stare at the canvas. There’s a blood-red rose. The lens is so zoomed in that the flower eats up the entire portrait. You place a manicured digit against it, tracing your fingertip along the jagged veins in the delicate petals. The imagery is surreal, almost comparable to a heart. Not a cutesy cartoon heart—the literal human organ. You think it’s stunning, standing out amongst the rest like a beautiful sore thumb. 

The printed black font along the border makes your breath hitch.

Love - Jeon Jungkook.

The subject confuses you, but the photography makes sense. Of course, this was Jungkook’s work. It’s obnoxious, lively, and so incredibly different from the rest. Stunning and enchanting, nonetheless. The next photo in his set is of two shadows, a bit distorted as they're splayed against the concrete. A couple holding hands. You recognize the silhouettes immediately; Mina and Taehyung. You can’t fight the smile spreading across your face. 

Next in the portfolio is a room, white walls decorated with faux ivy vines. The little, golden lights laced throughout them gives the picture a warm saturated glow. At the center of the photo is a woman laying underneath a cream duvet. Her bare back is facing the camera, messy hair sprawled on the pillow. It’s a bit risqué, but you get how it connects to his chosen subject. It’s the aftermath of the physical act of love.

To any other student or teacher strolling by, the woman in the picture was a stranger. But to you, she’s the farthest thing from a stranger.

She’s you.

Jungkook must have taken it while you were sleeping.

A wave of the most perplexing, juxtaposing emotions washes over you. Your palms turn clammy as you try to process what you’re witnessing. Why would he do this? Include a picture of you in a project, literally titled ‘love’, only to fucking lie to you? To take advantage of your affection and string you along while he entertained another person?

You find the answers to your aimless questions in the next photo.

Fireworks. 

The only time you remember seeing or hearing fireworks was… 

The night of the party. 

“Jungkook,” you sigh, pressing your damp forehead against the grainy wood of his door. You never thought you’d be in this position. Chasing after a man. It’s humiliating and out of character, but you need to make things right. “I know you’re in there…”

You’ve been standing outside of his dorm room for the past ten minutes. Knocking, pleading, begging. All to no avail. The sound of rustling blankets and footsteps on the other side makes you lift your head, eyes widening with hope. The optimism is lost once the soft noises stop completely. They only served to confirm your suspicions. Jungkook is home and he’s purposely ignoring you. 

Oh, the irony.

Earlier in the week, the roles were reversed. Jungkook was the one pining for your attention. Now, you know exactly how he must have felt that day in the library. And you don’t like it one bit. 

“Look,” you huff, shaking a few clumpy strands out of your face. “I know you probably don’t want to talk to me right now… but I’m really sorry.”

The only response you receive is the whoosh of running water. 

Your shoulders slump in defeat. Obviously, he’s not going to answer the door. Why would he? He had every right to be mad. You hadn’t hesitated to dismiss him, and his passions, when you were the one upset.

You come to the grim realization that maybe things are better this way.

Jungkook is completely, entirely, wholeheartedly different from you, and you from him. So much so that you were incompatible. You’ve barely dipped your toes into anything serious, yet the two of you were already fighting and miscommunicating. It would never work, whatever it is. It couldn’t.

Deep down in your heart, you know none of that is true.

As much as you try to rationalize the distance, you can’t convince yourself that your life is better like this—because whenever you picture a future with Jungkook or reflect on the past, you see and feel nothing but sunshine. The walls begin to crumble and you feel free. Maybe, the characteristics of Jungkook you deemed annoying and different, were what made being with him so euphoric.

But none of that matters anymore. Whatever chance you had at that, at something more with him, you've completely destroyed. With a grimace and an awful pit in your stomach, you decide the best thing you can do for him is leave him alone. You adjust the takeout bags in your hand and begin to head out. 

Just as you reach the end of the dingy hallway, you hear a click and a loud creak. You spin so fast you almost get whiplash. 

Jungkook is standing in his doorway, looking at you blankly with a toothbrush sticking out of his mouth. He’s shirtless, full muscles rippling under his milky skin. Normally you would ogle at the sight of his toned chest and defined abs, but your focus is elsewhere. Like on the red flannel sweatpants hanging loosely on his hips, sharp v-line peeking over the hem. You recognize them from the night you helped him study for an upcoming quiz. 

‘This is a conspiracy,’ he grumbled, convinced the test was an elaborate scheme by the school committee to punish him for his frequent drunken mishaps and countless guideline violations. You laughed, resting your head on his shoulder as you helped him memorize terms and ideas. You guys didn’t leave the library until 2 a.m.

He looks warm and cozy. Dark tresses swooping in messy waves across his forehead as he peers at you with doe eyes. After not seeing him or checking in on him for a while, you let out a sigh of relief. 

“Hi.” 

“Hey,” he mumbles softly, voice coming out muffled over the bristles of his toothbrush. He pulls it out, letting out a tiny ‘oops’ as a glob of toothpaste hits the floor. He wipes it away with his foot before continuing. “What are you doing here?”

“I…” Everything you wanted to say had trickled out of your mind like the little droplets of water running down your skin. 

He meets your silence with an unamused squint and starts to close the door. 

“Jungkook, wait!” You shout, taking a few frantic steps closer. “I saw the showcase!”

He pauses. “You did?” His thick brows slant in confusion. “How?”

“It’s still up in the liberal arts building.”

He nods his head slowly as an awkward quietness falls over the corridor. You can tell he’s still upset with you and the tension makes you queasy. 

“I have pancakes,” you offer nervously, lifting up the crinkled plastic bags in your hand. It’s so damn cheesy. But you're trying your best. You prayed that he understood the reference, and remembered how he showed up to your dorm in the same exact way. The fateful night that started it all. 

“Interesting.” His nose twitches as he tongues the little hoop on his bottom lip. Obviously fighting a smile. Thank God. “What kind?”

“Chocolate chip… your favorite.” 

He hums a contemplative noise, scanning you up and down. Your hair is dripping. The pink velvet hoodie you’re wearing is clinging to your figure in ways he knows it isn’t supposed to. “Why are you wet?”

“It’s raining,” you point out. 

Jungkook glances over his shoulder, glancing into his room and out the window at the cloudy, gray sky. There’s a change in his expression when he faces you again. “You walked here in the rain?”

You nod meekly. 

The harsh glint in his eyes softens. He sighs deeply, head dropping in defeat as he holds out a colorful arm, inked digits gesturing for you to come closer. “C’mere, Bambi. I’ll get you some clothes.���

Bambi. 

You’ve never been so elated to hear that nickname. 

“Thank you,” you peep, scurrying towards his open door before he changes his mind and sends you packing. Goosebumps form on your skin when your bicep brushes against his bare chest as you hastily enter the room. The light touch leaves your cheeks hot.

“Hold on,” he says, disappearing into his tiny bathroom. You set the pancakes on top of his nightstand, awkwardly standing in the middle of his dorm. This isn’t exactly how you envisioned your first time at Jungkook’s place would go.

While idly taking in your surroundings, you spot a little whiteboard above his bed. On it, scribbled in blue marker, is the biggest boobs you’ve ever seen in your life. There’s a heart eyes emoji tacked on in the corner. A good artistic detail, you think. You should be rolling your eyes at his boyishness. That’s what you always do. But an endeared laugh comes out instead. 

Why was a poorly drawn pair of tits making you soft?

Right underneath the whiteboard is a collage of taped pictures. You bend at the waist for a better look. There’s a polaroid of him and Taehyung, arms intertwining at the elbows, both downing a dark, probably alcoholic, beverage. How cute of them. The next photo is of Jungkook on a rollercoaster, tongue out and eyes crinkled as he middle fingers the camera. So wild and free. Your heart swells in familiarity. 

But the more you stumble upon, the more unfamiliar Jungkook becomes. There’s a few blurry pictures of a big black dog he’s never spoken about before. The next one has you gushing. It’s a candid image of baby-faced Jungkook, holding up his high school diploma with a proud, big, bunny smile. There’s an older woman in the frame kissing his cheek. You tilt your head in confusion. You wonder if it’s his mother. You had just assumed he couldn’t stand his parents and didn’t keep in contact with them.

Maybe… you don’t have Jungkook figured out like you thought you did. There’s still so much you have to learn. You make a mental note of all the questions you want to ask him later. 

That is if there even is a later. 

The bathroom door opens and Jungkook walks out. “Here,” he says, handing you a pile of neatly folded clothes. There’s an oversized black hoodie on top. Your favorite sweater, the one you always steal from him. You watch sullenly as he sits down on the edge of his bed. 

“I’m sorry,” you reiterate, absolutely loathing how weak and frail you sound. Jungkook doesn’t respond. He just stares into your soul with those scrutinizing eyes. “Can you talk to me, please?”

“I wanted to talk at the library,” he groans, arms jolting forward in frustration, fingers painfully flexed and hooked like claws. His bare chest flushed an angry red. “I’ve been trying to talk to you. All fucking week!”

Startled, you jump at his voice, dropping the stack of clothes you were holding. Jungkook’s eyes widen.

“Ah, I-'' he interrupts himself with a shameful hiss. You pick up the fallen fabrics with shaky hands, placing them on his nightstand with the forgotten pancakes. Jungkook digs the heels of his hands into his eyes, too apologetic and embarrassed for losing his cool to look at you. “I’m sorry.”

To be fair, he hadn’t been that loud. It was more abrupt than anything else. But your Jungkook was as happy and carefree as the wind. This side of him was new, and you were still figuring out how to navigate the uncharted waters. “It’s okay.” You can’t blame him. Not after everything you’ve done. “You’re allowed to be mad.” 

“I’m not mad,” he sighs. The tattooed fingers splayed over his eyes slide in to clamp the bridge of his nose. The other hand pats the spot next to him on the black comforter. “Come here.” 

“But,” you look down at the damp clothes, “I’m wet.”

“It’s fine. Sit down.”

You listen, cautiously sinking down into the bed. Despite the copious amounts of nude escapades, you’ve never felt more vulnerable with him. Usually, when you’re in bed with Jungkook, he’s panting above you, sleeping below you, or lying beside you. Head snuggled into your neck like an annoying, albeit affectionate, cat. Now, you make sure to keep your distance, anxiously picking at your chipped nail polish. 

“What happened?” He questions breathlessly, relieved to finally verbalize the words that were weighing heavy on his chest. “Everything was going great and then you switched up on me. Like the showcase? Really, Bambi? I was the only person there without a guest.”

The disappointment in his voice cuts you deep, but the vision of him at the event he had been so excited for, completely alone, hurts even worse. You were his muse, and you rejected him. Looking at him was an awful decision, because you get lost in his eyes immediately. Those beautiful, captivating, endless eyes. Filled with pain and uncertainty. You realize the only way to make that awful look disappear, is to confess…

“I really like you, Jungkook… a lot. Like- more than just friends…”

Once again, you’re met with silence. Jungkook’s face is unreadable yet so familiar. You've seen that expression before. You can’t pinpoint when or where exactly, but it makes your heart pound so loudly that your ears ring.

“So,” you continue shakily, “the last time we hung out—when you canceled our plans—I got really upset.”

“I was finishing my project.” 

“But then I saw a picture of you at a party-,”

“Yeah,” he defends, looking at you exasperatedly, unable to follow your train of thought. “I wanted to take pictures of the fireworks.” 

“I know that now,” you admit, shifting uncomfortably in your seat, “but the picture was from Nayeon’s Instagram.” 

“Nayeon?” He frowns. “I haven’t talked to Nayeon in months.”

“But you guys were-” your eyes dart around in search of the right phrasing. You settle on ‘a thing’, putting little air quotes around the ambiguous title. 

“Why does that matter?” He asks incredulously. “Her and I ended things before we even started hooking up. I haven’t had sex with anybody else since we’ve been a thing.” The last part is teasing, he mimics your air quotes as his pierced pout curls into a smirk. Ah, Jungkook gets it now. Your unbecoming actions over the course of the week were a product of jealousy and possessiveness. Any lingering trace of anger is washed away with the revelation. “I told you that.”

“Yeah, but…” After mulling over your thoughts, you hesitate to speak. You hadn’t realized how ridiculous and childish you were being until now. Taehyung was right after all. “I don’t know, the way you said it seemed… fishy.”  

Jungkook deadpans you before shaking his head, chuckling under his breath. You watch it all unfold awkwardly. How embarrassing. 

“It’s not funny, Jungkook!”

“Ah!” He echos your shouts through a laugh, cupping your head with his large hands and jittering it gently. “Stop thinking! Your brain is evil!”

Hm. Valid point. 

“In my defense,” you retort, cuffing his wrists with your tiny hands. His skin is warm and soft. You’ve missed touching him so much. “You literally mentioned Nayeon while we were having sex.”

The playful stars in his eyes combust. “Huh?”

“Oral fixation.” 

His eyes widen in remembrance. “Oh shit,” he groans, slumping down, hands dropping into his lap. “Looking back, that was so fucked, but I- I just thought it was funny. I swear I didn’t mean anything, like- bad by it. I-.” Frustrated by his own stuttering and lack of judgment, Jungkook mushes his fingers into his sockets before laying down in defeat. “That was so fucking stupid of me. I’m stupid. I’m sorry, Bambi.”

Stupid. 

That word coaxes a visceral reaction out of you. 

“Don’t say that,” you whisper. His tattooed fingers part in the middle as he hesitantly peeks at you. You giggle for a moment, and so does he, but then you feel the gravity of the situation. Sniffling, you look down at the beautiful boy. How could you have ever been so nasty to him? You push his bangs back gently. They’ve gotten longer. Cupping his cheek, you slowly brush your thumb across his soft skin. You’re afraid that if you’re too rough, he’ll slip right through your fingers. “You’re not stupid, Jungkook... I’ve never met anyone who sees the world how you do. You’re so creative and clever in your own right… I’m sorry if I made you feel like you weren’t, because I don’t think that at all.” Voice crack. “I never did.”  

“Hey,” Jungkook coos in concern. “It’s okay.” 

“No, it’s not okay,” you argue, blinking furiously to fight back the waterworks. “And I’m really sorry about the showcase. I know how important it was to you.” 

“Shh,” he shushes, “please don’t cry.” He catches your hand and brings it to his mouth, pressing the sweetest, gentlest kiss to your fingertips. “You apologized, so we’re good, yeah?” 

“Mhm,” you sniffle. It feels like a ton of bricks have been lifted off of your shoulders. “For what it’s worth, your portfolio was gorgeous.”

“Nah,” he teases, wrapping an arm around your waist and encouraging you to lay down with him. “You’re only saying that because you were in it.” You smile softly, thankful for his light-hearted banter. You stay like that for a while. Face to face. Just looking at one another. You think you could stay like this forever, basking in his beauty. His warmth. Jungkook speaks first. “Why didn’t you just talk to me about the picture?” 

“I guess, I was just scared of losing you… but then I just started ignoring you, which doesn’t make sense… so probably should’ve just talked to you about it.” The stream of consciousness makes him laugh. “I really like you, Jungkook.”

“I don’t do relationships.” 

You feel your heart shatter into a million, irreparable pieces. 

How cruel. 

“Wait, those aren’t the right words,” Jungkook shakes his head. “What I meant to say is that I’ve never actually been in a relationship.” The stammered admission has you stunned. Campus fuckboy Jungkook has never been in a relationship? “And I have no fucking clue what I’m doing but… I really like you, too. I want you, I do… I don’t know how good of a boyfriend I’ll be but,” he looks at you for the first time throughout his nervous ramble. His eyes are just as terrified as yours. “I’m willing to try if you are.”

You blink at him. Did he just say… boyfriend? 

“__,” Jungkook calls, anxiously toying with his lip ring. “Do you want this?”

You’ve never wanted anything more. 

Without warning, you smash your lips into his. This kiss is sloppy and brash, but he’s yours. Jungkook is yours. “I think you chipped my tooth,” he winces, chuckling breathlessly. “Is that a yes?”

You nod vehemently. 

“Okay,” he smiles, tilting your chin, “now give me a real kiss. None of that amateur shit you just pulled.” 

You kiss him again, head full of clouds and tummy full of butterflies. Jungkook grabs under your thighs, maneuvering you on top of him, knees on either side of his cinched waist. Your lips are more controlled this time. There’s a little tongue action. Nothing too dirty, just soft brushes and prods like you’re two virgins testing the waters. Everything is slow and unhurried. You feel like you’re floating, levitating, fucking astral projecting.

“There we go,” Jungkook grins, the rounded tip of his nose tickling yours. It’s so sappy, and you can only imagine how dumb you two look, staring at each other with sparkly eyes and goofy smiles.

Jungkook is still Jungkook, though.

A sneaky hand and the grinding of a zipper interrupts the cute moment.

“You perv!” You shriek, giggling wildly as you swat his naughty fingers away. The damage is done, and the sleeve of your open sweater slips down your bare shoulder. “Is sex all you think about?”

“Mm,” he hums in confirmation, placing a peck on the newly exposed skin. “Sex with you,” he specifies before peeling the damp material from your arms and tossing it onto the floor. You cringe at the clanging of your expensive, deadstock, Juicy Couture hoodie. “Why are you so covered up?” Jungkook sits up to suck on your erect nipple, right through your translucent, white tank top. Whimpering, you grind against him. “You gotta take this off…” he sighs dreamily, yanking the pesky shirt over your head.

Wow. He’s extra needy today. Not that you’re complaining. 

“Jungkook,” you complain, arms crossed over your chest. “Stop staring!”

“Why are you being so shy?” He does this often. Gawks at your naked body until your skin burns and your cheeks sting. It's a strange feeling. So uncomfortable yet so reassuring. You’ve never had a man look at you the way Jungkook does, like he’s trying to remember every birthmark, curve, and detail. That level of intimacy was scary. You can’t help but squirm under his intense gaze. “You’re my girl now, aren’t you, baby?

His girl. You swoon. 

“I am, it’s just kinda awkward.” 

“How so?” He patronizes, bottom lip jutting out in a deep pout. “Can’t I look?”

“You can just… don’t stare.”

“I do what I want.” The sudden switch in his voice makes your breath hitch. “Move your arms. Let me see you.”

Oh. He’s in one of those moods. 

You and Jungkook rarely dabbled in sub and dom dynamics. Maybe, he was too afraid of intimidating you. Maybe, you were too afraid to initiate. But boy was his aggressiveness a treat. The duality between the relaxed attitude he carried in his everyday life, and the occasional primal beast that came out during sex, made your mouth water. 

“Really?” He tuts his tongue when you counter him with a scowl, raising a threatening brow at you, code for ‘go ahead, test me’. You do, not moving a muscle. 

Jungkook physically pries your arms apart and twists them behind your back, holding your wrists together in one hand. The swift movement makes you gasp.

“This okay, Bambi?” 

All you can see over the bubbles of your cheeks is his tangled, black hair. His forehead rests against your collarbones, sharp exhales fanning across your chest. The hot gusts make your nipples pebble and the light stimulation sends a jolt of electricity coursing through your spine.

“Yes,” you whimper. 

Using his free hand, Jungkook grips your jaw, indulging you in a sweet kiss. “Good girl.” The whispered praise has your clit throbbing. He turns your face towards the sleek mirror mounted on the wall. “Look at you, baby.”

Insecurity looms over you like a black raincloud as you’re forced to look at the reflection. The sight of your nude body makes you feel icky. Instinctively, you try to jerk away.

 “Hey, stop-” he gruffs, tightening his grip to cement you in place. “Chill. Take a deep breath.” 

You obey, closing your eyes and inhaling deeply.

“Why are you so combative today?” The rough edge falters for a moment when Jungkook confirms that he ‘just learned that word yesterday from a synonym website’. You giggle. Why must he be so adorable? “Don’t I always take care of you?”

“You do.”

“Do you trust me?” You nod. “Use your words, baby.”

“I trust you, Jungkook.”

“Good girl,” he smiles, making you face the glass again. His touch is much more gentle this time, guiding you with a delicate finger on your chin. “Don’t look at me,” Jungkook chuckles when he catches you staring at him and then points at your bewildered expression, “eyes on you.”

Despite the initial resistance, looking own reflection isn't as difficult as it was the first time. There’s little things you pick up on, like the way your thick, fluffy hair lays. The way your chest looks so supple pressed against his. How your hips curve out at the right angle. Your skin is smooth and poreless. That Laneige toner is really out here doing the lord's work.

“Look at how beautiful you are.”

Although Jungkook’s words are sweet, you wouldn’t go that far. But you guess, one could say you’re cute—which is more credit than you’ve given yourself in a while.

“Aren’t you so beautiful, baby?”

You hum to appease him, but this experience was definitely a start. You’re gaining self-confidence, one baby step at a time. “You’re beautiful, too.”

“You think so?” He asks airily, flashing one of those teeny tiny smiles he does, where only his two front chompers poke out. You swear this man is an angel, or some mythical being that was too ethereal to exist on planet Earth. Mumbling a small ‘uh huh’, you peck at the corner of his mouth. His silver hoop feels icy against your lips, but his hands, rubbing soothing lines up your back, are so warm. “I wish you saw yourself the way I do,” he says with sparkly eyes. “How could I want anyone else, Bambi?”

Your heart swells two sizes too big and you don’t even know how to respond. 

“Alright, space girl,” Jungkook chuckles at your ditzy state, delivering a quick swat to your ass to bring you back to reality. An impatient, tattooed arm is hooked under your thigh, tossing you to the side before he gets to his feet. “Lay down. ‘S been a while since I ate that pussy.”

“Wait,” you say, unphased by his lewd comment. “Can I…” you look down at his crotch, “you know?”

“What?” He smirks at your vagueness. “Suck my dick?”

Foreplay normally consisted of Jungkook’s head between your thighs, his fingers milking your g-spot, or a shy handjob here and there. Now that he’s your boyfriend, you suppose it’s finally time to return the favor. Especially since he looks so delicious with his messy hair and his pretty tits out. 

“Please,” you choke, cheeks burning with embarrassment at how quickly the plead slipped out. 

“You don’t have to beg,” he purrs, stepping between your parted thighs sat at the edge of his bed. You gulp, nose aligned with his growing bulge. “Actually, yes, you do,” he retracts, swiping his big thumb across your bottom lip tauntingly. You’re dripping, already knowing where things are headed. “Been a bad girl lately, haven’t you?”

“Yeah,” you pout, shrinking under his beady eyes, peering right at you over his big nose. “But you said we’re passed that.”

“We are,” he agrees, “but I could use some reassurance. Wanna give me a little bit, baby?” 

“How?”

“Suck it,” he requests, tapping his thick digit against your deep frown, “show me how good you’re gonna blow me… just so I know…”

God, you can’t deny him. Not when his voice is drenched in lust and he looks that yummy.  Flicking your hair over your shoulder, you grab his wrist, taking his thumb into your mouth, all the way down to his palm. Moaning, you swirl your tongue around the pad. He plays along, plunging and pulling his finger into your wet suction. Your lips are going to look so fucking pretty around his cock, Jungkook thinks. 

“‘Kay, no more,” he says, voice strained as he yanks his hand away. The movement makes you accidentally bite your tongue. Asshole. He proceeds to tangle his spit-covered hand into your hair. Major asshole. With a thick fistful, Jungkook shoves you into his clean-shaven pelvis. “Am I hard yet? Check for me?”

He knows he’s hard. You know he’s hard. But you indulge him anyway, mushing a sloppy kiss into his v-line. The view of his eyes is disrupted by the heavy heaving of his chest, and his cute little nipples; spiked and erect. Dipping down, you place a loving peck on the tip through his pants. The red material is damp from his arousal. “Yep, hard.”

“Cute,” he laughs in reaction to how sweet and innocent you look down there. “Take it out, then.”

You tug his pants down, letting them pool at his ankles. His boner springs up with vigor, whacking you in the nose on its path up to his navel. “Oh fuck,” he gasps, smacking a hand over his mouth in guilt. You glare at him, suspicious of how genuine that ‘guilt’ really is. Something you’ve noticed about Jungkook is that his smiles reach his eyes first. You don’t need to see his lips to know he’s holding in a laugh. The little stars in his irises and the crinkles in the outer corners blow his facade. “You okay, Bambi?”

“Control your dick, Jeon,” you sneer.

“Can’t,” he pouts, wrapping his palm around his tree-trunk-sized base while kicking his pants aside, “he wants you.” You’re impressed at how quickly he steers the conversation back to sex. Also, personifying his dick? That’s new. Clicking his tongue, Jungkook measures his hard cock across the length of your face. If it wasn’t for the curve, his pretty pink tip would be touching your hairline. “How’s he gonna fit, baby? You sure you can take it?”

The questions were rhetorical, purely dirty talk, but they held a piece of the intimidating truth. “I don’t know,” you respond honestly. 

“Have you ever done this before?” Sensing your nerves, he pulls back a bit.

“Only once,” you shiver, recalling the questionable memory. “So I don’t know how good I’ll be at this…”

“Pfft,” he dismisses your concerns, “don’t worry about that.” He pets your cheek and you nuzzle into his touch, thankful for the comforting gesture. Then, Jungkook plops down, shimmying up the bed clumsily until he’s hunkered down in his pillows. Following suit, you turn to face him and begin tying your hair up. 

“Wait!” He hollers, stopping you at the elbow. His eyes widen at his own unexpected outburst. “Leave it, please. I like it down…” he coughs, “so pretty.” 

Out of the corner of your eye, you can see your frizzy baby hairs shooting wildly in all different directions. Pretty? Regardless, you let go, messy strands falling in loops against your chest and back.

“I have flavored lube if that helps. In my nightstand.”

Of course, Jungkook owns flavored lubricant. It's pretty on-brand for him. But your eyes nearly pop out of your skull when you open his top drawer, unveiling almost an entire Adam & Eve store. 

That’s a stretch and you’re dramatic.

Still, you stare in wonderment. There’s an unopened pack of condoms, ‘ribbed for her pleasure!’ printed on the front in purple letters. The blue and white wand next to it makes you choke. The Hitachi. It’s much bigger than you expected, but it makes sense. If it’s as powerful as Jungkook boasted, it must need a fucking car battery. You gulp. 

“Snooping through my things, Bambi?” 

“No,” you squeak, shaking your head. “You have quite the collection here, Mr. Jeon.”

“Mr. Jeon, that’s sexy,” he laughs, making you jump with an unexpected smack to your ass. “See anything you like?”

Cheeks ablaze, you stay focused, finally spotting the little aqua bottle of… blue raspberry flavored lubricant? You pick it up, causing a shiny piece of metal with a little glint of pink to roll out.

“Really, dude?” 

Jungkook’s brows furrow in confusion until he sees the silver butt plug, decorated with a pretty pink gem on the end. Absolutely perfect for you. “Oh, yeah,” he snatches the toy from your clammy hand and eyes it with pride. “Isn’t it pretty?”

“I can’t believe you actually bought one.”

“Why not? I said I was going to.”

“I know,” you huff with a nervous snicker, “but I didn’t think you were actually going to do it.”

“I mean,” he looks at you like you’re brainless, “you like anal, no?”

“No!” You shriek defensively. Anal play wasn’t even on your sexual radar...

Well, that’s not entirely truthful.

You enjoyed it the last time you had sex with Jungkook, in the shower, getting stretched out by his thick thumb in your butt. You remember how mindblowing and pleasurable it felt to be full. “Well, maybe. I don’t know.”

“That’s okay,” he smiles reassuringly. “We don’t have to use it. I just figured it’d be nice to have, in case you wanted to experiment, you know?” 

He’s so sweet and thoughtful it makes you ill. 

Now that you think about it, your sexuality is basically untapped. You’ve barely scratched the surface of self-discovery. Before Jungkook, you’ve never had a man care about your pleasure, or encourage you to take risks for your own sake. No ulterior motives. Being with Jungkook was like skydiving. Horrifying at first, life-changing once you took the plunge. With him, the parachute was there whether you decided to jump or not. You know that you’re safe, so why not take the plunge?

“Actually, Jungkook,” you stammer, “I kinda wanna try it… the butt plug.”

“You sure?” 

“I’m positive.”

The conviction in your voice is like a beautiful ballad in his ears. Brick by brick, you’re opening up. Every day spent together, the walls erode a bit more. 

“I got the smallest size I could find, see?” He holds the toy up to his thumb to demonstrate. It’s only a little longer, a little thicker. “So it’s not that far off from what you’re used to.”

“Thank you, baby,” you gush, planting a fat kiss on the dough of his cheek. The contrast between his bready, baby face and his razor-sharp jawline makes you dizzy. You need him in your mouth asap. “Can I suck your dick now?”

“Absolutely, but first can you-,” his index finger twirls in a circle. You blink at him blankly. “Ah, fuck it.” Deciding it’d be much easier to move you himself, Jungkook sits up at the waist to spin you until you're face to face with his third leg, resting patiently against his stomach. The modified 69 has you creaming. “Like that…” he mumbles dreamily, hooking his fingers into the waistband of your track pants, tugging them down your thighs to expose your perky behind and glowy cunt. 

“I don’t know where to start.”

“Innocent little thing…” he whispers, smoothing a palm over your lower back. He leans up to chomp on the fat of your ass cheek, leaving bunny-toothed dents in your skin. A predator eating its prey. “Want help?”

“Please,” you mewl, melting under his touch. 

“Spit,” he orders, cupping an inked hand under your mouth. Reluctantly, you spit into his palm. He uses your saliva to wet himself, coating his unbearably hard cock with a few languid pumps. Opening the cap, Jungkook squirts a little drop of lubricant onto his finger. “Taste.”

You softly suck on his fingertip. The liquid is sweet like a blue raspberry jolly rancher, but it’s not nearly as sweet as Jungkook’s deep guttural moan and hooded gaze. So worked up just for you. Only you. Yours.

“This, too,” he coos, bringing the butt plug up to your lips, “suck it.”

Seeing him this needy and touch-starved was doing things to you. Maybe you should ignore him more often, if it meant that he would be this feral. You comply, wrapping your lips around the icy metal.

“Being so good, baby,” he affirms, resting the drenched plug against his solid stomach before squirting a generous amount of lubricant onto his length, tugging until he’s glistening with a sticky blue sheen. Big and pretty. “Just start with the tip, alright? Go slow.” 

You nod, mesmerized by the little bead of dew resting on the slit of his pretty pink head. Well, it’s a bit blue now. Cotton candy. Yummy. 

“Stick your tongue out.” You do, hovering closer. Jungkook taps his length against your tongue with nasty, wet smacking noises. “You want me so bad, don’t you?” 

You nod impatiently, making your flat tongue brush against the crown of his leaking cock

“Fuck,” he groans, “put it in your mouth.”

There are a few reasons why you find blowjobs problematic. Unfortunately, you were cursed with an annoyingly overactive gag reflex. Very unideal for dick sucking. However, your primary concerns were taste and texture. But Jungkook’s cock feels like butter when you take it into your mouth. Smooth and silky. And the lubricant made him candy-flavored.

“You like that taste, Bambi?” Jungkook chuckles at how eager and dutiful you look, licking and sucking on his swollen tip like a lollipop. You hum in response, slowly swirling your tongue around his tip with purpose. Giving you a hand, literally and figuratively, Jungkook starts stroking the shaft, stimulating the parts of him you have yet to gobble up. “Want more?” You’re not sure what he’s referring to, but you agree anyway, completely entranced by him. With that, Jungkook squeezes under the tip, and you feel a tiny burst of precum hit your tastebuds. 

He’s so sexy you could die. 

Moaning, you clench your thighs together for some much needed friction, causing a single drop of wetness to trickle down your leg. Right before his very eyes. He’s never been so hungry, and it would be so easy to just…

“Jungkook!” You moan so loudly you’re sure everyone on campus can hear it. He had laid his tongue flat, trailing your arousal back up to your pussy and then sensually dipping between your folds in one hot lick. He even traces higher, prodding against your other hole until you’re seeing stars.

“Watch your teeth,” he winces when you get carried away, “be gentle, baby.” Peeping a shy apology, you curl your lips over your teeth and slide down past the tip until you’re halfway down his length. You focus on your breathing, nostrils expanding as you inhale deeply. “That’s it, take more.” 

So captivated by his ‘yeahs’ and ‘uh huhs’, you miss the sound of a cap clicking open. Suddenly, you feel a cold drizzle slide between your cheeks, before a pair of warm hands spread the slippery substance all over. He uses the residual to thoroughly coat the butt plug. 

“Gonna put it in now.” He spreads you open with one hand, pressing the silver against your clenched muscle. “Let me know if anything feels off.” 

The initial push is a bit much. You pull off of him with a wet pop, whimpering as he sluggishly inserts the foreign object. He stops at the sound of your whines. 

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah- fuck,” you grunt, “big, thas all. Please, keep going.”

“I mean, it’s not that big,” Jungkook chuckles, running some saliva over the toy for more moisture, “you’re taking it well, though.” Slowly but surely, he works you open. The noises you moan around his cock are obscene. Not because it hurts, but because it’s so satisfying. 

“Feels good, Koo…”

“Sheesh,” he breathes, staring in astonishment at the pink gem in your ass, “it’s so fucking pretty. So sexy.” In his fucked out, head empty state, Jungkook bucks up, shoving all eight of his curved inches down your throat. He doesn’t realize what happened until you pull off with a gag and teary eyes. 

“Bambi,” he coos wearily and fear ridden. “I didn’t mean to do that, I swear.” 

You send him the meanest, fiercest glare you can conjure up, hoping his conscience burns just as much as your throat does. 

“No, come on,” he pleads in despair, reaching for you as you crawl away, “I’m sorry. It was an accident. I wo-,” 

You shut him up by hoisting a shaky leg over his hip, straddling him. “You really can’t control yourself, can you?” You hover over him with a teasing smile. How could you possibly stay mad at him when he looked like Tuxedo Mask? The dreamy love interest of your favorite cartoon. 

He sighs in relief, panic leaving his body as fast as it came. “No, I can’t,” he smiles softly, shaking his head and snaking both arms around your waist, “not with you.”

And at that moment, you swear you’ve never been happier. 

The closeness you felt was indescribable. Not physically, although his python grip was warm and comfortable. It was all emotional. You’re spiraling out of control, heading flipping and stomach somersaulting, but it’s okay—a contained type of chaos. Jungkook feels it too. The shift in the air. The subtle, yet painfully obvious, change in your dynamic. You’re different this time around. A little more outgoing. A little more fearless, as you sit on top of him. He loves it. He thinks he might even love…

“You gonna ride me, Bambi?”

“Mhm.” You feel like a schoolgirl again when you kiss him. That nervousness, wrapped in unbearable excitement, whenever you passed your first crush in the halls. Yeah, that's how you feel right now, looking down at the most stunning person you’ve ever experienced. 

Sparks. Fireworks. Butterflies.  

You and Jungkook exchange shy smiles when your hands touch, reaching for his erection, desperate to close the gap and become one. So ready to connect your bodies, minds, and hearts in the most intimate way. Clumsily, you fail at first. You’re both so wet that his flushed tip slips, completely missing your entrance and sliding past your clit. 

“Sorry,” you chirp abashedly. 

“That’s okay,” he pipes, holding himself up for you, “try again.” Just the thick head of his cock resting against your folds is enough to know that there’s going to be an adjustment period. A stretch. There always was, Jungkook is fucking huge. But you have a feeling that this new position would hit differently, making him feel bigger, harder, longer. With a firm grip on your hip, he guides you down onto his piercing length. A symphony of moans and sighs fills the room. 

“How’s that?”

You’ve never felt so full.

The butt plug makes the squeeze even tighter, pushing his cock right into your g-spot. The burn ignited a mind-numbing fire inside of you. That, or he was just so deep that you felt him in your stomach. “‘S okay,” you whimper, gnawing on your lip and clinging onto him for stability, “really deep like this, Koo.”

“Take your time,” he gruffs, wincing under the dig of your petite fingers, making little crescent indents in his biceps. Amid sex, the tension in your body served as a reminder that you’re still learning. He was doing his best to be good, but the way your pussy just swallowed him up like that, triggered something primal. Tightest, wettest pussy he’s ever had the blessing of penetrating. Biting his tongue until his mouth tastes metallic, Jungkook battles the urge to thrust up into you until you’re dumb and drooling. He’s trying so hard to be good. The internal struggle is heard in his voice when he speaks, strained and gravely. “Start slow.” 

Eventually, the tiny licks of pain transform into a milky, insatiable hunger. When you look down at him, all you see is the base of his thick neck, head thrown back as he succumbs to the gratification of your walls. ‘Wow, what a man,’ you think to yourself. Your man. Encouraged by your eagerness to please, you begin sloppily jerking your hips at a fast pace. No flow or rhythm. 

“Easy, easy,” Jungkook shushes with a grin, stopping you at the waist. “Why are you in such a hurry, hm? We have all night.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing,” he laughs, grabbing the shaky hands that are resting awkwardly on your thighs. “Let’s get your form right first. Lean on me.” With the command, your palms are placed flat on his broad, solid pecs. Already, the angle and leverage work with his curve deliciously. “And it’ll probably feel better for you, if you moved like this instead,” Jungkook grips your ass, rocking you into a grinding motion. Instead of up and down, your cunt drags back and forth on his throbbing shaft. 

He’s right. It feels so much better like this. The dreamy sensation has you moaning and moving like a pornstar. 

To be honest, this wasn’t even the type of video Jungkook clicked on when looking through his PornHub feed in the mornings. Absently scrolling past orgies and blowjobs like the daily newspaper. He preferred things fast. Pummeling every inch into you before pulling out swiftly, leaving only the very tip inside to keep you needy and begging. But fuck, the slow, sensual rolls of your hips were turning his brain to mush. And the way you’re dripping down his balls might make him demote missionary to his second favorite position. He’s hypnotized, staring up at your perky tits, rippling and bouncing freely above him. 

“Yeah, baby…” you cheer, carding your fingers through his thick, healthy hair as he sits up at the waist, latching onto your nipple. The gentle runs turn into harsh tugs when he takes the sensitive teat between his teeth. The overstimulation makes you hiss. 

“Taste so good,” he huffs, “I can’t keep my mouth off of you.” Slicking his wispy bangs away, Jungkook leans back, stealing a naughty peek at you fucking yourself on him. Using him just how he likes. He spreads his legs apart, praying it’ll help you sink down even further, if possible. “Yeah, take it all…”

“Love taking it all…” 

That hot, gooey ballooning is already forming in his balls. The pooling in his shaft is a warning; he’s going to bust soon. Jungkook maintains a strict ladies first policy, so he needs to think of something. Fast. A lightbulb switches on in his head when your neglected clit glides across his smooth pelvis. 

“Hold on.” With a hand on your lower back, Jungkook squeezes you against him, preventing you from toppling over as he leans to the side and fiddles around in his special drawer. You gulp when he takes out the infamous vibrator. 

“You look terrified,” he jokes, pointing out your fearful gaze and plump lips, currently forming a cute little ‘o’ as you observe the wand. 

“Hm, I wonder why?” You scoff at him in fiend ignorance. “Oh, it’s superrr strong, most girls don’t even last five minutes,” you mimic in your best Jeon Jungkook impression. Voice dropping an octave to match his deep, even tone. You think it’s pretty accurate, but his melodic giggles say otherwise.

“I mean, it is,”  he confirms, powering on the vibrator, “but there’s different settings, like, here’s the lowest.” The white crown is placed on your inner thigh, letting you get accustomed to the movement before he uses it to destroy you, and your most private areas. The low rumble travels up the muscle in your leg until it reaches your clit with a faint hum. “See? Not bad, right?”

Wrong. 

The lack of foreplay on your end, had you teetering on the edge. So when Jungkook presses the strong, creamy buzz to your swollen bud, you’re a goner. 

“Fuck!” You wail. “This is the lowest speed?”

“Tell me how it feels.”

“I- oh!” Evilly, Jungkook moves the toy down, nudging the rounded corner underneath your hood, directly stimulating your little bundle of nerves. “I… don’t know… can’t… think right now…”

“Have nothing to say now, huh smart girl?”

Oh, so this was your punishment. 

If you could even call it that. You’ve never felt so fucking good. 

The rapture coursing through your vein forces you to stop, clawing at Jungkook’s shoulders. He picks up where you left off, rutting into you with vigor, hitting all of your sweet spots perfectly. That, combined with the smooth plug in your ass and the vibrator on your clit, has you overwhelmed and out of control. 

“Fuck! Jungkook, I can’t- too much.”

You’re cumming before he even has the chance to object. Thighs quivering. Arms shaking. Eyes rolling back into oblivion. The darkness is disrupted by lightning bolts of white, hot pleasure. Your entire body tingles like you’ve just stuck your acrylic into an outlet. Jungkook guides you to the light as you brace the crashing tsunami of your orgasm. 

A literal tsunami.

“You squirted.”

“I did?”

“A little.” Unfortunately, he didn’t get the chance to witness it. Just relished in the warm splashes on his pelvis, his upper thighs, and his cock. You nuzzle into his shoulder, groaning disgruntledly in shame. Jungkook humors you by resting his cheek on top of your head, swaying subtly as he holds you. “Guess you’re not my Bambi anymore. Deer can’t swim.”

“They can swim,” you murmur. “You don’t shit about deer, Jungkook.”

“You’re more like a fish or something,” he coos happily, ignoring your correction. “...Ponyo.”

“You like Studio Ghibli movies?” You ask, picking up your heavy head and looking at him with big, animated eyes. “Since when?”

“Since before my balls dropped,” he responds curtly.

“I didn’t know that…” 

“I think there’s a lot about me you don’t know yet, baby.” 

There’s no malice in his words. They’re not a sneaky jab, or an attempt to make you feel guilty. They’re just the truth.

“Can I ask you something, Kook?”

“Of course, you can,” he hums, friskily nipping at the apple of your cheek. 

‘Do you like anime in general? Or just Studio Ghibli?’

‘If so, what’s your favorite? Oh my God, this is so exciting!’

‘Is that your dog in those pictures?’

“You’re crazy, and yes, that’s my dog,” he chuckles at your endless string of curiosity. “But how about I nut first?” As if on cue, his member twitches inside of you, reminding you that he’s still hard and waiting patiently for his release. “And then you can interview me. Sounds good?”

“Yes,” you say, cheeks scalding. “Sorry.”

“Stop saying sorry,” Jungkook repeats, pecking you lovingly. "I'm gonna lay you down now..." Strategically, he maneuvers you onto your side, plopping down behind you. You curl into his frame, back arching with the rise and fall of his panting chest, his beautifully sketched arm wrapped around your waist. The other rests on the bed, sticking straight out for you to use as a pillow. Your top leg is thrown over his hip, spreading you enough to run his length over your puffy cunt. Grabbing the Hitachi, he brings it back to your engorged clit. The touch makes you yelp. 

“Mm, I love how sensitive you get,” he whispers, licking a hot, needy stripe against your cheek. You peep out a confused noise, cowering under his tongue. Yuck. He’s so gross… but so sexy. “It’s not even turned on yet, baby. What would happen if I put it all the way up?”

“I think I’d fall in love with you…”

His heavy breaths stop as locks eyes with you. You can't distinguish the iris from the pupil. It all blends together like the night sky, filled with little stars of raw emotion. He’s pondering something, dewy lips parting and closing as the thought fades. 

Nothing is said, but you don't mind. Because when he enters you, rocking into you with languid, passionate thrusts, you feel it. The unspoken words surround you like the weather. They’re warm like a summer breeze.

“Mine, isn’t it?” He speaks against your lips, Hitachi set to the max, going full throttle on your nub. “Say it.”

“This pussy is yours,” you cry, crystal streams clouding your vision and streaming down towards his arm.

“Not that,” he chokes through gritted teeth, trying to postpone his orgasm. Waiting for you to say the magic words and open Pandora’s box. “You, baby. Tell me that you’re mine.”

“I’m yours.”

“Yeah,” he nods, lips curling in as he bathes in your dripping cunt. His strokes become short and uneven as he reaches the point of no return. “I’m yours, too.”

The declaration of reciprocal affection and want fills your chest before shooting to your core. You cum together, sighing into each other's mouths as pure, intense bliss takes over every square inch of your body. Every cell tingles. You try to kiss, but the seal of your lips is broken by your needy cries. During the mutual orgasm, Jungkook trembles. Chest, legs, and arms all quivering in unison as he milks both of you dry. Painting your walls with warm, white spurts until he has nothing left to give. The Hitachi isn’t turned off until you beg. 

Euphoria. 

When you’re done, neither of you can bring yourself to disconnect. Sex left your sweaty bodies idle and fucked out, but the intimacy of it all kept you rooted in place. Airy kisses are planted on your shoulder. Light scratches outline his tattoos. His seed is hot inside you in the most disgustingly comfortable way. You don’t move for a while, laying in each other's aura until the rain clouds fade and the milky way can be seen by the naked eye. Twinkling lights of stars and headlights flicker against his skin as you count his breaths. They grow more steady as the minutes pass. 

“I have a plan.”

Intrigued, you crane your neck, quirking a brow at the man behind you. “A plan?

Without warning, Jungkook expertly gets to his knees. Your ankles are hauled up by your head, manicured toes tickling his cotton pillowcase. Folded in half at the waist.

“Jungkook!”

“Bambi,” he huffs above you, softening cock still tucked inside of you. “Hold your legs for me.”

Oh. You know what he wants.

“Baby,” you giggle flirtatiously, hands curling under your thighs to keep them in place, “what are you doing?” He must want another round. Excitement bubbles in your squished chest and cramped stomach at the thought of having him twice in one night. 

“If you stay like this, I should be able to run to the bathroom without getting cum on my bed.”

“Are you kidding me?” You spew in disbelief and disappointment.

“Baby, please,” he groans with pleading eyes. “It’ll take two seconds, I promise.” 

“Fine,” you oblige with an overexaggerated pout, “but hurry. This hurts!”

With your permission, he scurries off into the bathroom. A light turns on and the faucet runs. He must be getting something to clean up with. Despite your best efforts, and the ache in your bent neck, his baby juice leaks out of you, cascading down your butt with impeccable speed.

“Jungkook, It’s dripping!” 

The door slams against the wall with a loud thud as he bursts through, wet cloth in hand. A second too late. “No!” He sighs in annoyance, dropping to his knees on the mattress, angrily watching a fat white droplet splash onto his black comforter. “Really?”

“What was I supposed to do?” You shout back playfully. The whole situation was dumb and immature, but you can’t stop laughing. You cackle like a madwoman when he runs the damp towel through your folds. “‘M ticklish,” you respond dazily when he raises a brow at you. The giggles turn into a sharp hiss when he slowly removes the plug from your swollen hole.

“Does it hurt?” Jungkook coos, spreading your cheeks to get a better view of the slightly red, inflamed area. 

“A little, but I’m okay. I promise.” 

“Good,” he hums, smacking your ass, hinting that he wants you off the bed. “Go pee while I change the sheets.”

There’s a change in your appearance when you look in his bathroom mirror. The girl reflected, wearing her boyfriend’s black, pine-scented, oversized hoodie, seems… happy. She is happy. The resting bitch face that Mina often teased you for is completely gone. All you see is glowy skin, bright eyes, and puffy cheeks. A tiny hand comes up to massage them. Ow. They hurt from smiling so much. From laughing like a maniac. You’ve never seen yourself so lively. You’ve never felt so alive. 

With a content sigh, you skip back into the bedroom. 

Jungkook is already settled, snuggled under the clean bedding like a big baby. The sound of the door opening makes him jump, waking up from the two minute nap he accidentally fell into. Turning to you, he smiles lazily.

You’ll never get used to that face of his. That beautiful face.

“I’m knocked, Bambi,” he yawns, opening his big arms. “C’mere.”

Heart heavy with warmth, you climb between the sheets. You lay on your back, preparing for him to sink his head into your full breasts like feathered pillows. His favorite cuddle position. 

“We never ate the pancakes,” you frown, noticing the plastic bags on his nightstand when you reach over, shutting his lamp off.

“‘S okay. We’ll eat ‘em in the morning.”

“Ew, Jungkook,” you scoff revoltingly. “They’ll be rotten by then.”

“You’re rotten but I still eat you.”

Hm. Touche. 

“You know,” he lulls, lips smacking together. It’s a habit that only comes about when sleep clouds his mind. “I’ve had a crush on you since the day we met.”

“Liar,” you whisper with a smile, twirling the loose strands at the nape of his neck. Just the way he likes. “You called me a bitch, the day we met.”

“You’re so dramatic. I did not call you a bitch.” The way his tired, hooded eyes blare open at your false statement makes you laugh. “I said you were bitchy. There’s a difference.”

You recount the memory.

“You know what, I like you. You’re a little bitchy but-,” he slurred at the end of the night, helping you gather the discarded solo cups, "Also innocent. Kinda like a baby deer. What the fuck was that movie?”

“But underneath that attitude… I don’t know- There was just… something about you. Something special. And I knew that I could bring that side out of you, eventually."

“Bambi! Right… I can’t wait to ruin you.” 

God, why are you so emotional today? 

Tears pile into your waterline. They’re not from sadness or anger. 

Laying in bed with Jungkook, who’s sighing peacefully as he drifts off to sleep, you can’t believe that this is your life. 

After a few minutes of silence, you realize that there’s no way you’re following him into dreamland. You’re way too wired and ecstatic. Who could blame you?

“Jungkook,” you whisper.

No answer.

“Jungkook.”

A grunt of acknowledgment. 

“Are you awake?”

“No…”

“But you just responded, though...”

Silence.

“Can we watch Sailor Moon?”

Crickets.

"Jungkook?"

“Baby!” He whines, high-pitched and huffy as he turns his head in frustration. “‘M sleepin’!’”

“Jeez,” you roll your eyes, still sluggishly playing with his dark ropes. “Someone’s grumpy…” 

There’s another beat of silence before he speaks.

“Fine,” he groans dramatically, twisting back to his original position with a smushed frown against your boob. “I’ll watch one episode. One.” 

You squeak excitedly, pecking the top of his head in appreciation, pulling out your phone and turning on your favorite series with glee. He puts up a good fight; loopily murmuring ‘wow’ and ‘no way’ whenever you share a little fun fact about the character lore. Halfway through, the sound of Usagi and Rei arguing is overtaken by Jungkook’s soft snores. 

Soft for now. You know once he hits the REM phase, he’ll turn into a lawnmower. 

With a defeated sigh, you close the streaming app and put your phone away, cuddling closer to your boyfriend. 

Your boyfriend. 

You're dying to finish the season. At this rate, it's going to take you guys forever to watch Sailor Moon in its entirety. But that’s okay, you suppose, because forever with Jungkook doesn’t sound that bad at all. 

it's requited love yall :')

© chryblossomjjk 2022 [do not copy, translate or repost]

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Top 3 Are HEATING UP

Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Dec 2023 Wk 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

Honestly, 3 are neck & necking for top position! They are all so good in different ways. But The Sign had me hooting with laughter this week, so it scooped #1.

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 4 of 10 - This show is literally everything (except straight) all at once. It's BL, queer, band of brothers, romcom, erotica, paranormal, fated mates, mystery, suspense, slasher, and horror. It’s the king of genre mash-up chaos. I have no idea what I’m watching but I’m ON this ride. Is it a roller coaster? Is it a haunted house? Is it a twirl & hurl? Is there candy floss? Am I even tall enough? Who tf cares. All through the second scene, I was laughing. It was legit funny. Billy has great comedic timing. Guess he’s not just a pretty face.

Everyone should be watching this. Sure, it's madness but there is genius in it.

Last Twilight (Fri YT) ep 6 of 12 -  Yech. August may be one of GMMTV’s least likable characters ever (and that is saying something). Meanwhile, MOAR language play! They spoiling me!

Mhok letting Day go then walking away at the party hurt so bad.

Argh this show is great!

Ep 6 so that kiss was right on schedule. I’m looking forward to the boyfriend eps before doom & pain in the new year. Carry on GMMTV. 

Speaking of...

Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube) ep 2 of 12 - Oh they’re great. It’s great. It’s paced oddly, moving quickly through most of the key scenes of the original JBL in these first 2 eps. I think it’s intending to encompass more of the manga series than that one did. Which is good, cause that will get us all the way to The Library Kiss (TM). It's the best kiss in the manga. I also like the sides in this show (better than the JBL version). 

My Dear Gangster Oppa (Thurs iQIYI) ep 8fin - What a lovely slightly unhinged little show. Tew, can we talk? Un-ironic suspenders, that takes courage. Also, the revolver was a crazy gun choice. 

Final thoughts:

This show is just as ridiculous as its title. About a gaymer who falls in love with one of his in-game teammates, who just happens to be a IRL gangster. A real gangster, the kind that actually kills people regularly. The lead pair is doing their best with a ridiculous story and shoddy script, but I enjoyed it. Although I was grateful it wasn’t very long, what we got was oddly satisfying if, frankly, a little bit silly. Recommended. 8/10 

That said, what's important about this BL is not the show, but the production and style. Let me explain... no, too much, let me sum up.

This is a chimera BL. Regarding characters: it has Japan's style otaku + Korea's style gangster + Thailand's style friendship group. It used Thai talent + Korean money (Kakao) & IP (adapted from a manwha) but aired on a Chinese channel globally (iQIYI). I'm delighted by the eclectic insanity of this production and truly doubt that any other genre but BL could ever produce like this. It's like diplomat's BL and it's the great wonder of our age that it happened at all. This BL deserves its place in the history books on production alone, even if that place is only in the footnotes. A remarkable little monster.

For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 3 of 10 - The sides are… messy. Using the same actor for the old bf is… odd. But in the end, this show leaves me smiling. Which means, I like it despite myself. 

Bake Me Please (Mon Gaga) ep 4 of 6 - It's decent. It’s basically what I wanted Antique Bakery to be when I first watched that way back when (not to mention Bite Me). But there’s been so much BL since then that, for some reason, this is falling flat. I think it’s moving too fast for a Thai series. Although, say what you like, Ohm has to be one of the best soft kissers in the industry. He's just good at mouth tenderness.

Ugh, that doesn't sound right. But you know what I mean.

Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 7 of 10 - I love how First is so upset when Sprite starts chatting and being nice to Koh. Sprite is just a sweet easy-going likable boy. I enjoy Sprite as a main character, he’s a bubbly little communicator. And they had a cute kiss.  

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 5 of 14 - Because there was more Alan and Jeff and they were more key to the plot I was more into this ep. I do compare it to green smoothie down the pants in the Trash Watch.

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) ep 3 of 12 - Look OffGun are truly great. But I’m just not sure we need them in BL anymore. That said, it’s nice to see Off as "the one with the crush" for a change. Also, this show is only good when OffGun are on screen together, otherwise it kinda, well, sucks.

Night Dream (Sat YT) ep 1 of 6 - Cafe setting featuring a cook and a writer. *Seems awfully familiar.* Except these two are exes and this is a reunion romance. It’s stiff and very pulp but not bad (no crap sound effects) and I am a sucker for a reunion romance. That said, Rookie Thailand is not to be trusted, proceed with caution.

Absolute Zero (Weds iQIYI) ep 12fin - I'm grateful this is over. It was tense but for the wrong reasons - sadness and confusion. This final episode was fine, but that’s because it was mostly them being together + flashbacks. Plus all the familiar actor faces of the grown-up friends (hi, Karn my lovely, still stunning I see). But 2 of 12 episodes is not enough for the 10 of suffering and confusion that came before.

In conclusion:

A man is killed on his 10th anniversary resulting in a time paradox, for which the only solution is him never meeting his childhood sweetheart until later in life. Both lovers cycle back to the past at different ages, so that they each become their own 1st & 2nd great loves, but every time it ends in pain, until each also endures 10 years of separation. Finally it gets fixed, but leaves them with multiple memories of time's failures like temporal PTSD, and everyone around them has chronic deja vu. Me? I got both. This is one of those BLs that is high-quality with great acting but poor story. If you like your BL dwelling, maudlin, and tense due to angst and suffering, then you might enjoy this. But I just regret it, 6/10. Recommended only if you like confusing time travel emo pain.

In which case, just watch Tokyo in April is... instead. Give over Thailand, Japan does it better.

Middleman’s Love (Fri YT & iQIYI ep 6 of 8 - While our main couple isn’t working for me... the side couple isn’t working for me either. I really wanted to give LeoTai a chance, this is the 3rd show I’ve seen them in, and still nope. I like Jade a lot more when he’s sad. He’s a much more pleasant screen experience depressed. I would like him to stay hurt for a couple of eps, just so I can enjoy this show a tiny bit more. But then he just goes unhinged again. Argh. I just don’t like it. 

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Pisces of Me ep 17 of 24 - Codependent boyfriends in middle school planning for high school dealing with stuff. Including other boys being into them. 

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 5 of 14 eps - Dear Playboyy, it's not you, it’s me… I hate you. You’re about as deep (and as palatable) as a shot glass of cum. While I'm sure you’re someone’s kink, you're my weakest link. Goodbye. DNF 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

VIP Only (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 5 of 10 - It’s cute but I don’t think BL in this short format is Taiwan’s strength these days. And this is quite slow and dull. Perhaps they should have whacked it down to 6 eps, not 10.

Sahara-sensei to Toki-kun (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 3 of 8 - This is one of those JBLs that I should like on paper but is failing me. The drag bit was ridiculous but handled gently. The kiss was… well… something wasn’t it? It’s all very odd. I like the photographer cutie character. 

It's Airing But...

The Whisperer (Sun ????) 10 eps - Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). I don't think even the perfect single dimple can motivate me to watch. Word is... it's terrible.

7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) 10 eps - Giving me Luminous Solution vibes. I'm waiting to binge if it's safe.

Beyond The Star (Weds iQIYI) 8 eps - House of Stars meets Boyband. I was NOT impressed with ep 1. Been told I shouldn't bother.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - I find this series more fun to binge, so I'm waiting until after it completes its run next week.

Dear Kitakyushu (Thai/Japan movie) in theaters in country only, I know nothing about distribution.

Behind the Shadows (Korea movie) this is a historical I was interested in, but I've been told they kill the gay so I'm OUT.

Next Week Looks Like This

Still coming:

12/23 Dead Friend Forever (Thai horror) iQIYI

Original 2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED). With the end of the year upon us I'll do an "announced for 2023 but never happened list" soon.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

He so pretty.

I forgot how likable TayNew are, and frankly I think New is a better version of this role for me, personally. I like him a lot. He's a conscientious sweetheart. And a good egg. (Cherry Magic)

Ah the rooftop my old friend. (Last Twilight)

I would like to point out that it's no accident the naga's sex dream happened in the shower, he's a water creature after all. (The Sign)

(Last week)

[shotmrmiller]

Playing the the Sims 4 and making a Family with a Simon in the Cottage Living DLC and I’m just imagining Simon just watching me play this life simulator of him and I being married with the farm and all and him going like I can make that reality why you playing a video game when I’m here also he would be surprised at the triplets we ended up having just wanted to share this have a great day

surprised? no you're surprised. he's just like yep never do anything in halves round here lovie. 3 fat babies tew much you'd need a dairy cow later on like milk would be getting pricey

[loveinhawkins]

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 ao3 (Complete)

Eddie has a telephone voice, which Dustin finds absolutely hysterical. As the pizza place answers, his whole register switches into something a little smoother, over-pronouncing each word, and Dustin watches him with undisguised glee.

Eddie must read his thoughts because while their order is repeated back to him, he blushes, covers the receiver and mouths, “Oh, fuck off.”

When he hangs up, he playfully cuffs Dustin on the back of the head. “Do you mind? I was putting on the performance of a lifetime there.”

“What performance?” comes Steve’s voice, and Dustin turns to see him leaning against the counter, Tews following at his heels.

“That I’m a polite young man, of course,” Eddie says with a toothy smile.

Steve whistles, all faux impressed. “The Academy will be in touch, man.” He dodges Eddie’s attempt to trip him up, smirking—then yawns a bit into his palm. “Henderson, your cat’s like a sleeping pill or something.”

Dustin scoops up Tews, rocks him until he wriggles out of his arms. “Why can’t you be cute like that with me? You just claw at all my clothes, you little shit.”

“Dustin!” Eddie gasps, “don’t use such language around the baby.”

“Yeah, dude,” Steve snickers. “Don’t wanna offend Mr Polite Young Man’s delicate sensibilities.”

Eddie whacks him with the take-out menu.

Their back-and-forth hardly stops all throughout dinner. Eddie makes it look easy, Dustin thinks: how he delivers each quip so there’s never a lingering silence, yet still spaces them out so that Steve has more time to retort back.

And because Eddie keeps talking engagingly, Steve clears his plate without seeming to realise it; and Dustin feels himself calm at the sight of his eyes gradually brightening.

It’s not the only sight he takes note of.

Eddie is sitting close to Steve, their shoulders touching—and whenever he wants the box of pizza passed to him, or more soda, he just taps Steve’s arm in question, all while carrying on the conversation. Maybe before, Dustin wouldn’t think anything of it, but now he considers how Eddie had sat on the couch with Steve, his hand in his hair, how he’s been there for him the whole day; and a silent little lightbulb goes off in Dustin’s brain.

Because it goes both ways.

The girls Steve has dated wouldn’t do this—have never done this, at least as far as Dustin can tell, remembering flashes of dates he’d seen on the rare occasions Steve wasn’t driving him places, at the cinema or diner, or…

He gets the feeling that Steve has always been subtly holding some parts of himself back with them. He doesn’t do that with Eddie. He lets him in.  Dustin watches as Eddie tidies the counter, gently nudging Steve out of the way with his hip. It’s like finally solving a puzzle: now Dustin knows which way to look, he can’t believe how he didn’t notice it before.

Instead of saying anything, he busies himself with finding fresh blankets for Steve. As he shakes them out, it occurs to him that this is kind of what Steve must do for him every time he stays over—the difference being that he’s over often enough to have a set of pyjamas waiting for him in the guest room. Steve even ironed them once, which Dustin had teased him relentlessly for, but secretly found it… nice.

As it nears 10pm, Steve suddenly jolts from where he’s sitting on the couch, dislodging Tews from his lap again.

“Sorry, baby,” Steve says distractedly, gives Tews an apologetic pat. Dustin notices the little pinch of stress around his eyes again, and doesn’t mention the fact that Eddie’s already got him calling his cat ‘baby’, too.

“What’s up?” Eddie says. He’s lounging on the floor, has a few of Dustin’s comics spread out in front of him.

“I told Robin I was gonna pick her up, I forgot. Shit, she’ll be closing soon.”

“On it,” Eddie says, almost singsong. In one move, he leaps to his feet and retrieves the keys to his van. “Back quicker than you can say—”

“Jack Robinson,” Dustin finishes; Eddie says it a lot, probably picked it up from his uncle.

Eddie winks at him, turns to Steve and gives a dimpled little smile before leaving.

Steve looks off into the distance, still frowning.

After making sure Tews has safely moved over to his food bowl, Dustin jumps onto the couch, blankets and all.

“Oof,” Steve huffs, “you trying to crush me?” But though he acts like he’s going to shove Dustin off, he never once does.

They poke at each other, complaining about bony elbows and freezing feet. As Dustin adjusts the blankets, he shifts so that Steve’s the one on the inside of the couch. Steve has never mentioned anything, but Dustin’s suspected for a little while that he likes to sleep with his back against a surface; probably makes him feel less exposed.

Now that Eddie isn’t here, Dustin can’t stop his mind from wandering back to Steve, sitting alone in the junkyard. To the thought of him waking up in an empty house, terrified out of his mind.

“You know you can… like, stay over whenever, right?” Dustin says.

Steve has said pretty much the same to him, but Dustin knows there’s a bit of a difference: that maybe Steve finds it easier to offer than take something for himself.

He feels Steve shrug next to him.

“Uh, you sure? Don’t wanna cramp your style, little man.” His voice goes into his parody of a middle-aged suburban dad, and Dustin has a sudden clarity about what his aim is: to make Dustin scoff and roll his eyes at him, and forget about the offer.

But he doesn’t take the bait.

He leans briefly into Steve’s shoulder and says, “You know I’d be fine with it, right? Like, Mike and Nancy, they hang out all the time even if they don’t act like it, just barge into each other’s rooms. Same thing with Lucas and Erica. Like, sure, they annoy each other sometimes, but that kinda comes with the deal.”

“Oh,” Steve says softly, and Dustin glances to the side; he doesn’t know what it is that he’s said, but Steve looks deeply touched. “Thanks, Dustin. Really. Thanks.” Dustin takes a deep breath. Gathers his courage. “I get them, too.”

“Huh?”

Dustin sighs, turns a little into Steve’s side. “Nightmares,” he mumbles.

“Oh,” Steve says again, and he wraps an arm around Dustin. “Oh, bud, I’m sorry. You… you wanna talk about it?”

Dustin pauses. Nods.

Steve squeezes his shoulders. “I know what happened with… with Eddie was awful, man, it’s my fault you went through all that shit alone—”

“No,” Dustin interrupts, because making Steve feel guilty isn’t remotely his aim. “They’re not… they’re not only about Eddie.” He closes his eyes; he’s not told this to anyone. “Sometimes they’re about you. Losing you.”

Silence.

“Sometimes the bats get you, too. Or…” And it’s stupid that what he says next makes him falter—compared to the previous dreams, it’s hardly anything, no blood or gore, but…

“Or you’re—I can see you, and I-I can’t tell which one of us is in The Upside Down, but you… you can’t hear me.”

“Hey.” Steve gently prods Dustin in the cheek, holds his gaze. “I’d always hear you. You never have to doubt that, got it? I’ll always come find you.”

Dustin nods again—for a moment, doesn’t trust himself to speak. He wiggles a little closer, sniffs.

Steve pulls him into a proper hug. “I’m sorry, I just—fuck, I get so scared sometimes, Dustin. I don’t—” He swallows. “I know I don’t say it, but, God, I love you so damn much. I don’t want a-anything to happen to you.”

Dustin returns the hug. Pulls back and makes sure Steve is looking him in the eye when he says, deadpan, “Steve. I hate to break it to you, but so much has happened to me.”

Steve snorts. “You know what I—ugh, you’re the worst.”

Dustin pauses. “But if something ever did happen,” he says carefully, tries to measure his tone to show he doesn’t mean anything Upside Down-related, not anymore, “then we’d be okay, in the end, I swear. You’ve got me, I’ve got you, right?”

Steve exhales. Nods a little jerkily. “Right.”

And what the hell, Dustin figures he might as well say it now—it’s too important to just remain an unsaid, sort of mutually understood thing.

“Steve? I love you, too.”

It takes a second, and then Dustin feels Steve start to shake. This time, the tears aren’t hidden; he just… lets them be.

“Aw, goddamn it,” Steve laughs wetly, “why’d you have to go and say that?”

“You started it,” Dustin says.

“Shut up,” Steve says, lips trembling a bit as he smiles.

Dustin gives him time, just waits in the quiet until Steve’s breathing comes out steady again.

“J,” Steve says eventually.

“Jaws,” Dustin says.

“Oh, boo. Predictable, Henderson.”

“V.”

“…Damn it, all I can think of is Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?”

“That doesn’t start with V, dumbass.”

Steve lets out a long yawn, like it’s crept up on him. “I know, butthead.”

They go on like that, throwing out letters and movie titles like it’s a tennis match. Gradually, it takes longer and longer for Steve to reply, his voice growing mumbly until it trails off entirely; and Dustin feels him go slack and heavy with sleep.

He looks up at the ceiling, hears the front door softly open and close. Tews is in the hallway, greeting Eddie with a more vocal miaow, and Dustin laughs quietly as he hears Eddie croon, “Oh, baby, hello, aren’t you just the best, huh?”

When he enters the living room, Eddie spots that Steve’s fallen asleep immediately. His expression softens, and then he smiles, looks at Dustin and says, “You’re gonna get a crick in your neck if you keep laying all stiff like that.”

“Was worried I’d wake him up.”

“Nah, you won’t. Here, I’ll help.”

And Eddie very carefully manages to tilt Steve further against the back of the couch, giving Dustin just enough room to move away from the embrace so he can stretch out properly.

Eddie is about to head back to his spot on the floor, where he’s placed a sleeping bag from the van, when Steve makes a tiny, vague noise of distress.

Dustin and Eddie both freeze.

“M’gotta…” Steve sighs, face twitching. His eyes remain closed. “Car keys, where… they need… have to…”

“Shh. Hey, Steve, you’re okay.” Eddie reaches across, strokes Steve’s hair. “You’re… you’re just dreaming, sweetheart.”

“Hmm?”

“That’s it, go back to sleep. You’re at Dustin’s remember? Everyone’s safe.”

“Dustin,” Steve echoes faintly. “Safe…”

Eddie waits until Steve has settled back into a deep, hopefully dreamless sleep, then draws back his hand.

Dustin turns, watches him unzip the sleeping bag and lie down.

“Do you love him?” he asks.

Eddie stares up at him. Then: “Yeah,” he says simply.

“Good,” Dustin says.

Eddie’s mouth parts slightly. He blinks. “That’s it?” he whispers.

Dustin blinks back at him. “I mean, yeah? Should I… um, have said something else?”

Eddie exhales a laugh, smiles. “No, you’re good. That was… great.”

A moment of comfortable silence.

“Hey, Dustin.” Eddie lowers his voice further, even though Steve’s out for the count. “He, uh. He doesn’t know, okay? Not… not yet.”

“I kinda think he does, though,” Dustin says, then pulls back the blanket so he can raise one hand in acknowledgment. “But, like, I’m not gonna tell him. Swear on my mom.”

Eddie laughs again, and he somehow makes it sound thoughtful. “We’ll get there, man.”

And Dustin knows Eddie isn’t just referring to him and Steve, dancing around the beginning of something great.

Dustin thinks of Steve waking up and checking the news for car wrecks. Of the nightmares, shared between them all.

We’ll get there.

“You can come round whenever, too, obviously,” Dustin says. “Like, we could make it a thing? Saturdays or something, mom won’t mind. All three of us.”

Eddie’s expression goes soft again, his eyes overly bright. It kind of reminds Dustin of how his mom sometimes looks at him on the first day of school, or Christmas morning.

“What?”

Eddie smiles. “Nothing.” He sighs, closing his eyes. “Just… wish more people were as kind as you, Dustin Henderson.”

Dustin looks down at him, pride and affection welling in his chest. He can feel Steve’s light snores ruffling his hair, and he shuts his eyes, knows that two of the people he loves most in the world are on either side of him.

We’ll be okay. We’ll get there.

[lutawolf]

My Dear Gangster Oppa Commentary Ep 4

If you haven't seen my other commentary, you can find it here.

This makes me sad because what was special for Tew was the fact that Guy wasn't afraid of him. But here he is, afraid. Which clearly is upsetting to Tew.

As soon as Guy opens his eyes, they are drawn to the gun wound scar. The face that Tew gives him then...

And Guy's concern, then confusion. So much emotion in one frame.

Now they are sitting and communicating. Tew tells Guy that he didn't tell him that he was scared that it would put Guy in danger. Which confuses me because not knowing, knowing, is there really a difference in danger level?

Tew starts to explain his past and his joy of playing video game. Then his home life. While not rich, he had a loving father. Who clearly raised him right because he is so well-mannered. Oh no! Cough with blood.  

Damn... I was really hoping he would kick their asses, and get home to his dad.

I mean, we knew it was coming, but the fact that he didn't get to say goodbye. Oh damn, that really explains the previous episode where he came to meet Guy to say goodbye before his trip.

Ohhhh, Tew looks scary now.

OH! Who called it?!?!

And then he is shot!!! What!?!? I was not expecting that. Nor was I expecting the next part. I was kind of expecting him to have been forced into killing. Interesting. I wonder if Wish John Lennon was one of these kids???

So while bad boy is a rebel with a cause, he still a rebel. Then he just lays down to die.

I think it's safe to say that home dude was not thinking that day.

I think Guy gets it, but it will be interesting to see if he accepts it. He at least isn't scared of Tew anymore. Butt he more Tew explains, the more clearly you can see he is an anti-hero. Won't go so far as to call him a villain butttttt. He is no hero. Yay!!! This is my favorite type of character!

I am not sure what to think of the mob boss. He is putting a lot of trust into a kid, but he also appears to be giving him the keys to revenge. He is an interesting character to say the least.

The rules seem simple enough. No lying and no betrayal.

"Once you touch a gun. There is no going back to a normal life"

Then, Tew gives a little smirk and says that he doesn't plan on going back to a normal life anyway.

And Guy is seeing this. I think it's interesting because for some reason Tew really expected that Guy would absolutely understand. He is pretty spot on because Guy does understand.

Really Guy... You are going to be butt hurt over the restaurant lie??? I mean, I actually get where Guy is coming from. I'm just thinking it's funny to pick that after hearing Tew's story.

It apparently was not what Tew was expecting Guy to be upset about either. His face says he is completely dumbfounded. Honestly, in my opinion, Guy is latching onto something to use so he can run scared. I don't think he is scared of Tew, but of his own feelings that are happening too fast. I could be completely off base, but that's what I see from how he is acting and reacting.

Boy up in his feels getting sloppy drunk. Other boy is being emo in his bed. What a pair.

Oh, no! Boss man is not okay with the fake restaurant.

Home dude is not right in the head, is he?

I'll say it again. Mob boss daddy is interesting. He cares about Tew, but he isn't a push over.

I'm suspicious... How is a regular dude off the street not scared when goons show up???

Again, not a push over.

Now back to emo boy with his bed and his fish. Damn it Guy! That was a shit move to do to your guild!!! And his first thoughts when there is a knock at the door is Tew. That should tell you something, Guy! You're running from your feelings. Coward!

Nope. It's jackass Wahl, who I just know has something to do with stirring up shit. I know. He seems sweet, but how can he not tell that his bestie is upset??? Wahl is just too selfish for me to like him. I tried to like him, I really did, but I don't like selfish besties.

Discount Lennon out here trying to drown people.

See, I told you that Wahl was where this bullshit all started. He is being so condescending. Saying he is the most important person to him but then ditching him all the time. I really hope, at some point, Tew beats him up.

Did he drown him???

We're back to the guessing game of: Dead or Passed Out??? (If you said that in a game host voice, give yourself ten points.)

Oh! Not dead! Ohhhhh, another pissing contest in the wild!

I refuse to believe that Tew is that stupid... I hate Wahl because I feel like he is going to get a call from his gf and just leave Guy like he always does.

Ahhh... Nice. Tew planned ahead. Never mind, I take it back. Tew is stupid. Don't lie to the boss, especially not for Wish Lennon.

I don't like the fall troupe when it's Guy and Wahl.... Just saying.

Please, please, let Tew beat him up.

Yes, I agree. You need to put an end to your feelings. Oh, wow! Wahl didn't ditch Guy, but Guy ditched Wahl!!!

Sadly, though, Guy isn't answering Tew's phone calls either.

I really think that Tew should take this opportunity given to him and beat up Wahl.

The wrong person got punched! That did not go the way that I wanted.

Guy ran home. I can respect that. Except the fact that he is acting like a two-year-old. Awww, bless him. Well, at least now he is realizing that he is running away from everything.

Finally!!!

What does it say that Tew didn't stop till he found you Guy? LOVE, the communication going on. I love that Tew is calling out Guy, telling him that he feels this way and ran because he cares about him.

He called him little boy! And then gave him a real hug!!!

Ahhh, Tew confessing. Hot damn! They are making up for that shitty ending last episode!

OH SHIT.... He is going to quit the gangster life... I'm scared.

Never mind, we'll just shelve that concern for another day. Carry On. 💜💜💜

[buddhamethods]

10 BL Characters I Want Carnally

AKA I'm just a person with two keen eyes and dubious morals when it comes to enjoying media so don't take it seriously, I'm here for a good time.

Thank you @sndrys for tagging me! This was an eye opening experience putting this together. As it turns out I might have a type (ew).

1) Guy from Bake Me Please (2023)

The sole reason for me creating this list! Look, I dropped Bake Me Please almost immediately because it just wasn't for me BUT I've been lowkey watching through my dash. And let me tell you, my fingers gain consciousness and hit reblog everytime this baby's face pops up because...well...LOOK AT HIM. He is beautiful and he should get the guy (hehe get it) in the end idc.

2) Yok from Not Me (2021)

Yok is such a beloved character and for good reason! He is sexy, he is gay, he sets buildings on fire and steals cops' wallets on accident because HOW WAS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT GUY HE WAS STALKING WAS A COP??? I love you Yok, never change.

3) Palm from Never Let Me Go/ OurSkyy2 (2022-23)

The anger I felt for all the injustice and mistreatment our beautiful Palm had to face in this show took literal years off my life. It's rare for me to get this passionately protective over a character and yet here we are, in the Palm Protection Squad headquarters. Even Nueng is on the watchlist!

4) Tonhon from Tonhon Chonlatee (2020)

Not to out myself as an enjoyer of silly goofy times , but I did have fun watching Fish Upon The Sky and Secret Crush On You, so OFCOURSE I thought I would like this one too but GOD was it rough. Did I still finish it? Yes. Did I fawn over PoddKhao pairing and have been quietly praying for some kind of reunion ever since? Also yes. Was I foaming at the mouth barking everytime Tonhon AKA Podd was on my screen? I'm not gonna comment without lawyer present.

5) Tew from My Dear Gangster Oppa (2023)

Speaking of Tonhon Chonlatee...AH! Ai Long Nhai (TC's spiritual prequel of sorts) was sure...something. And by something I mean I saw Meen and decided I will never speak ill of men ever again, feminism quite literally left my body. And then a year later My Dear Gangster Oppa came out and guess what??! MEEN IS THE GANGSTER OPPA! Dreams really do come true, kids.

6) Wen from Moonlight Chicken (2023)

(or Tian from ATOATS or Mueang Nan fron FUTS). Mix...I will eat you. Always so dewy and healthy and sparkly-eyed. But Wen from Moonlight Chicken is something out of the realm of my imagination. The sex appeal? The maturity?? The gentleness??!! Somebody sedate me before I say something I will not be able to justify in court.

7) Vee from Love Mechanics (2022)

He is a pretty bisexual who makes the most abhorrent stupid decisions known to men and then weeps and suffers for them WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED? Once again, is the show flawless or even remotely coherent? Absolutely not. That being said Vee brought me so much joy by being stupid I'm forever grateful.

(also YinWar are so back GO WATCH JACK AND JOKER TRAILER)

8) Prapai from Love In The Air (2022)

To a certain extent I've enjoyed every MAME show I've watched. To do that you need to possess the rare ability called "I abandoned every shred of moral integrity to gawk at hot men". And Prapai? MAN is this bitch hot. Tall dark handsome? Check! Bisexual on a bike? Check! Stubborn and annoying? CHECK!

9) Xiang Hao Ting from HIStory3: Make Our Days Count (2019)

*incoherent wailing and sobbing* IM NOT EXPLAINING SHIT ABOUT HIM LEAVE ME ALONE

10) AlanJeff from Pit Babe (2023)

My newest obsession! I refuse to separate our local senior citizen and his favorite prophetic mechanic. Both of them are hot as shit in their own way. Alan is a sexy dilf with so much weight and responsibility on his shoulders it's a miracle he retained his optimism and youthful awkwardness. And Jeff is a prickly baby-cow-baby-deer eyed baby that is so touch starved it's actually a little funny. SO I GUESS ALANJEFF SANDWICH IT IS.

(don't be shy tag yourselves besties <3)

[since64bce]

Trumper HC: AOT CHARACTERS AS TRUMP SUPPORTERS

I'm not in Amurica or nothin so idek the guy. All I'm sayin is I think he's a funny man so lets go baby yeehaw

CHARACTERS??: CONNIE AND SASHA, MIKASA, ERWIN, REINER, BERTHOLDT, HISTORIA, PIXIS, FLOCH Warnings: Racism, Sexism, ageism, STEREOTYPING, homophobia, transphobia, swearing, soft porn, guns, terrorism, mentions of violence and molesting. (istg im nitpicking here) A/N: pls don't report me.

CONNIE + SASHA 🥹💃🕺 (Cowboy conspirators)

-I have to group them together Im sorry

-"We juhst tew keids werkin togeyther on ower dayddies raynch in teyxas"🤓🤠

-Sashas fam are a few hardened Trump veterans (it's in the braus bloodline) can you imagine her father NOT being a republican smth

-Connies fam is the same.

-Both of their dads are those weird uncles u only see @ thanksgiving once a year. NOT WEIRD IN A PEDO WAY. They the ones who talk abt the flouride makin the rats n frogs gay an whatnot. its a whole thing.

-BAsically con man🧍‍♂️ and sack nut🧍‍♀️ spend their days chewing on straw and standing outside abortion clinics. 👫

-They're probably like 12 or somthing idk

-But yes they really like trump. Hail trump✋. Worship trump🙏. Trump trump trump. Donald J trump💋. Love trump🫶. want trump👀. lick trump🫵. kiss trump🫵. Trump 4 life💪. Trump all day baby🫦. Trump👨🏽‍🦲.

-Honestly they wanna see trump more than trump wanna see them.

-Actually trump don't want to see them.

-He'd get molested, turn around and there'd be two skanky ass lookin children standing behind him how horrific.💀💀💀

-These children aren't normal

-God bless murica ✊✊ yeehaw

Mikasa es tu casa (Chilled out chad)

-Mikasa is one of them chill ones that just mind their own buisness

-Unproblematic chad😌

-She sets an example for the rest of society and shes ripped so lets all take a leaf out of mikasas book shall we

-This aint aot fr this is america 🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸 so she lived happily ever after with her mama and papa ok. no weird human traffickers or nothing🖕🖕. Her parents would've been quite traditional and conservative

-I think she'd believe in the nuclear family and gender roles and what not but her beliefs would be very mild

-You can't get her fuckin forearms from making sandwiches all day babes ❤️‍🔥💪

-but yeah shes a sweetheart ilhsm💋

-And lets just say her being a trumpee is like Gods way of containing this woman

-she wouldn't have missed fr🔫

-And God forbid if she did miss cuz otherwise she'd have gone up there and done it with her bare hands baby

-casual Trump enjoyer

Erwin👱‍♂️ (Facebook warrior)

-He's one a them grandaddy Trumps💪👴. There from the very beginning.❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

-You really think old people are bad at using technology?? WRONG.

-Levi helped him set up a facebook account 💋

-And It's the only fuckin thing he knows how to use on his computer. And he plays around on with his face this🤏 close to the screen, like gurl u don't need to do that 🧍‍♂️💀💀

-just use ur monacle or whatever🤷‍♀️

-But yeah whenever he comes upon gay 🌈🌈people posts on facebook my man has a heart attack. He clutches his chest falls outta his chair as he tries to get his breathing in control. 🤯😵

-Erwin will come across a post of two girls kissing an fickin collapse istg

-And then he'll get his talons out and start producing some juicy ass hate comments👹. He can't control himself, he's like a wild beast🥴😮‍💨, its like his arthiritis stricken claws have a gravitational pull towards that keyboard

-And he doesn't understand the whole algorithm thing either

There he squats with all these gay daddies on his facebook, hate spamming ALL of them AND HE STILL DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHY FACEBOOK KEEPS SHOWING HIM THESE POSTS🤬🤬😡🫣🤷‍♀️

-He suffering multiple heart attacks a day people get this man off facebook🙌

-And then Levi will come over and see that Erwin has been writing hate comments under pictures of mens bulges on his computer🧍‍♂️

-Who gave this guy the tech knowledge to b able to cyber bully but not to close his damn tabs sheesh

-He's also become a top poster on one of the Trump groups that he follows ✊✊

-Also he uses the N word a lot 🧍‍♂️

Mr big tits (Bible, BBQ and an AK47)

-Oh my dear lovely big breasted Reiner Braun🍒🍒

-tells everyone abt how his papi went to 'nam and died when in reality his papi waz just a bich and left early🤫

-Not enough valour for him ig

-Even tho homeboy aint in the army 🫡 anymore he still stocks up more ammo than his local police department. 🫶🫰

-Hes just a🔅 cutesy little😻 hoarder with a cuetsy little collection of firearms too. 🤤🥰💖🩷🩵💙

-he will also wear cammo vests to the supermarket just to buy himself some spinach. He's a cammo boy. It's all he wears. 😮‍💨

-Aside from his gun collection and cammo obession, Reiner also loves a bit of BBQ here and there.

-believes the Founding Fathers’ original intent included God, guns, and smoked brisket.💪💪🦅🦅

-And country music of course.

-He's just a casual guy nothing too extreme😎🤠

-He owns a pair of american flag speedos tho, is confused as to why people need so many pronouns and passively aggressively competes in lawn care comps with his neighbor

-Somebody make this guy a father pls🥵😳🫃

Bechtolsheim :))))🦒🦒(Wall enthusiast)

-Oh my berty boy whom i love love love😤💕

-Let us b true with ourselves guys mr daddy long legs🕷️here has all our hearts and souls encaptured in his nice ol sweaty palms. I can tell ya now he's a man of the lord. He's down on those knees for j-dawg night'n day bro 🙏. He daps up the homeboy holy spirit on his way to bible study wit Reiner. ✝️✝️🫰

-Boy sure knows how to resist those temptations. Satan who? Sorry, B-dawg doesn't know him

-Everyone just thinks he's a nice guy 🧍🏽... which he is obv 🙄

-(In the daytime🌞, he's bertholdt, just a normal gurl💅🫦, living a normal life😸😝... but theres ✨something✨👁️👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 about him🧌🥸😱 that, no one ⁉️knows yet⁉️.... 🤨🧐cause he has secrets🤭🥵🥵👹👹👹......)

-he used to b part of a terrorist group.

-☠️

-BUT HES IS(IS) A NICE GUY HE WAS JUS A LIL BIT CONFUSED BACK THEN an thats okay baby everyone gets a bit confused sometimes.

-AND this was before he met God mkay.

-But yeah, now bertholdt has a burning descrimination against muslims.

-Its the trauma man.

-His stereotyping and racism is like a festering cancer, he fights it everyday like a champ 💃💃✊

-And what does this have to do with being a trumpee you might ask?🧐

-Immigration.

-He wants em' all deported

-SOMETIMES Berts inner darkness wins out. He wants to forget his past, he wants to throw it right outta his window!... and out of his country....🦅🦅🇺🇸🤠🍟🍔

-This boy has seen some stuff🙇🏻🥺. And he's slowly getting better with his muslophobia. He tries. The lawd is his chemo, slowly trying to vanquish this dark dark part of himself 👿🦹, bit by bit.

-Never underestimate the power of the lord. Amen.😗

(All u christians go hard tho fr, mad respect. And all u muslims out there we buddies, go snatch that Quran and be a boss kachow)

Historian Reiss (Progress? Don't you mean bull-kaka?)

-SOMEBODY CALL THE TRAD WIFES UP IN HERE👰‍♂️👰‍♂️👰‍♂️👰‍♀️👰‍♀️👰‍♀️👰‍♀️👰‍♀️

-Girly says that the 1950s were PEAK even tho the closest thing to diversity back then was whether or not u liked jazz 🎶🎶😎

-Oh yeah she sure misses them polio days 🤤😻

-But in all seriousness she probs wears those big pantaloon undies😱🥶 like gurl u aint going parachuting thru the clouds just wear normal ones

-She's always googling how to make her child rearing hips bigger🤰🤰

-Not a single pair of pants in HER wardrobe. Not that she'd be able to wear them with her double storage solution underpants. Dresses and skirts ONLY.

-Also they must all be FLOOR length to hide those temptatious ankles🥵🥵😩

-Our modest queen🫡

-She aint trust no supermarket ultra processed shit food either she gets her eggs straight from her own chickens ass🦆 and she grows her own veggies n stuff. Good for her 🤙💪💪

-Although she did once collapse ffrom an iron deficiency cuz she couldn't find her own meat source poor girl

-she hit her head and was unconious for lik 3 days

-Her neighbors saw her undies before they saw her🪂🪂🪂

PIXIS (Mommy, can we put grandpa back into the retirement home now?)

-Bros worse than the braus and springer daddies👹👹👹👹

-He could not only write an entire 500-chapter-50k-words-per-chapter-ten-part book series abt gay frogs🫦, fake moon landings🙀, reptilian politicians🐸, 5G towers, Big pharma, chem trails🥵😷 ect ect ect but he could fact check the entire thing with blurry memes off facebook sent to him by his cousin randy

-He's a fuckin conspricay chad, unstoppable, admirable, irrestistable, alcoholic, crazy, cute🥺, chic, chadilicious bald man👨🏽‍🦲👨🏽‍🦲

-His children shipped him off to a home as soon as he turned 60 and his knee vaguely started hurting

-Hes too powerful

-Pixis does gets invited to special occasions tho cuz his family feel slightly bad

-He be an anti-science, pro magic, potter grade, wizard baby🧙‍♂️. Of course the government control the weather, of course climate change isn't real. 🤷‍♀️

-And he tell everryyyboodddyyy @ the dinner table baby👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

-There are actually 8 wonders of this world. His offspring. How the. frick did they turn out so normal?🤨

-Anyways he managed to manipulate his son in law once and accidently caused a divorce

-Now he only gets invited to christmas

-And somehow he sneaks flasks of whatever into his nursing home illegally seals them out to all his nursing home pals.

-He's got an army of at least 15 of them that he's planning a coup with.🥳😏

-He also owns a MAGAs hat and suffers from mild heartburn because he only eats steak

Floch (LIBERATE THE MEN, WOMEN ARE THOTS)

-Another country boy but hes a skinny country boy who doesn't own a diesel guzzling man truck or get high blood pressure from eating steak 24/7.

-He lives wit his mama and eats the pasta salad she makes him for sunday lunch. 🧑‍🌾

-But yes he's still a freaky lil fanatic👹🧑‍🌾

-Imagine he lives in a world without pimp-dawg Eren Tate-ger. Whose Floch supposed to follow??? huh??? Donald thats who. Donald trump💪🦵.

-And andrew tate of course👨🏽‍🦲

-He's one of them red pillers who can sniff out a womans virginity from a mile away

-"Wats ur body count???"

-and hes very patriotic too:

-TRUMP IS JESUS 2.0, MY MAN THONG HAS AN EAGLE ON IT,CKAWW CAWW CAWWWW SAY YOU CAN SEE BY THE DAWN EARLY LIGHT WHAT SO PROUDLY WE HAILED AND THE TWILIGHTS LAST GLEAMING🦅🦅🏈🏈🇺🇸🇺🇸???!!!!???? DADDY TRUMPS TAN IS NOT FAKE GUYS WTFFF😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🖕🖕🖕

-He's like a freaky little jehovah's witness guys

-he's so alpha dont you think?🐺🐺🐺

A/N: Sorry I think i fell off a bit at the end but I couldn't b bothered. Also yes ik the bertoldth one was a little wild but dont report me babes thank u very much. later losers.

[pickletrip]

1. Feed your sick boyfriend who has just been beaten up.

2. Is he looking at you .... looking at you..... Uhmmm

3. Dirty mind.

4. He hits you with a "This stuff has been on my mind all the time". How long have you been fantasizing Tew?

Oh wait, you knew you were down bad for him the first day you met him. So, yea. Makes sense.

5. Keep feeding him so that he doesn't get a break to think about kissing you.

[tartarusknight]

King of the Freaks | Part 7

Ao3 Link | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15

Steve had the guys over maybe twice a week as time went on, and Thanksgiving was just around the corner. Some days when they were over, Steve stayed out on purpose on others he curled up on one of the couches to watch them. And for the first time, he finds himself with others more than he is alone. Monday and Thursday are Hellfire. Steve still has swimming on Tuesday and Thursday but they already stopped doing Hellfire on Tuesday for him, he wasn’t going to let them shift to another day than Thursday. Most Wednesdays he spends with Dustin at the least. Sometimes more of the kids tag along but he doesn’t mind. He’ll give Max a ride home if Billy drives off without her. And he’ll babysit Will if both Jonathan and Joyce are busy.

 Weekends are still quiet but sometimes they radio him and ask for rides. But they’re generally quiet. He tries not to hate them but he does. He tries to stay busy by trying out recipes Jeff gave him or doing homework with the radio playing loudly but it never works. The sun goes down and Steve ends up next to the pool. He’ll sit and hug his legs to his chest. He’ll spiral until he’s shaking from the cold and barely awake. The sun starting to light up the sky. Then he’ll head in and head down to the couches in the basement. The radio on the floor next to the sofa as he passes out. Using the small throw pillows and blankets as he falls asleep.

 Rinse and repeat. Well, for the most part.

 Steve woke up from a pounding on his door and groaned. “Steve! I know you're in there!” Dustin’s voice called through the house and Steve stumbled up from the couch. He stopped at a mirror and ran his hands through his hair a few times before the pounding truly annoyed him. He pulled it open and on his steps were Dustin, Max, Lucas, Mike, and Will.

 He crossed his arms and noticed Will murmur, “told you he wasn’t going to be up yet.”

Lucas glared at the other, “everyone’s up early on Sundays.”

Steve ran a hand over his face, “nope. Now, what do you gremlins want? Please tell me that Tews hasn’t been eaten this time.” He sighed and got a few snickers but Dustin huffed.

“My mom has brunch with her friends,” Dustin starts.

“Our moms,” Lucas adds.

Dustin shoves at Lucas, “and we wanted to go shopping for Snowball.”

 Steve blinks but then Dustin’s pushing his way inside. “So, come on and get dressed.” He stated, heading up towards where Steve’s bedroom was.

“Hey, dipshit,” Steve calls and waves the others in before jogging up the stairs to see Dustin pulling out a sweater and jeans for Steve. “Wow, Steve I would totally appreciate it if you spent your Sunday taking me and my friends shopping. Would that be alright with you?” Steve said in a mocking, high-pitched tone.

 Dustin rolled his eyes, “why’s your bed made? Did you make it before answering the door?” He asked instead. Steve groaned but changed into the clothes Dustin grabbed.

“I fell asleep on the couch,” he shrugged and headed into his bathroom. Brushing his teeth and grabbing a few things for his hair.

As he multitasked, Dustin snooped. “Is this car your dream car?” Dustin questioned and Steve shook his head, mouth full. “Has your room always been this color?” Another shake of his head. “I always wanted to repaint my room, you think I could convince my mom? Is it hard? What did you do?”

 Steve didn’t want to say that his mom goes through phases about every two years where she redoes the house to her liking. The old furniture goes to the basement or is tossed out. The walls whatever design she saw in the magazine. That his dad lets her do it to keep her happy. That Steve had never once picked out anything for his room, not even his sheets. He just lets his mom toss everything out of his room and redo it however she wanted. Hanging up a stupid car because it’s a boy's room, Stephen.

 He rinses his mouth and moves on to his hair. “Your room looks nice,” he says instead and Dustin sighs before launching into why he wants something new. Steve stays silent, just listening. Then he hears rustling and looks over to see Dustin pulling out the nail bat. The one he hid under his bed but apparently not enough if Dustin was able to find it that easily. “Do you play baseball?”

Steve washed the products off his hands, “Not with that." He jokes but at the glare he answers, "yeah. Baseball, swimming, and basket- and I used to be in basketball.” He fixes his hair up a little more before turning to see Dustin swing the bat with no proper form. “Come on,” he motions Dustin out of his room before tossing the bat back under his bed.

 The others are all over his living room and Mike is snacking on some of the chips Jeff left. “Hey dumbass, those aren’t yours.” He glares and plucks the bag from his hands. Folding it and moving to put it away.

“Why do you have chips here if you don’t eat them?” Mike questions and Steve pauses, looking back with a confused face. “Nancy told me that you don’t eat junk food.” The words feel like ice flowing through his spine. Of course, Nancy noticed how little he ate… she just didn’t see the truth.

He clears his throat, “their leftovers from the other night. My-” Friend? He shrugs and shoves them into the pantry.

 “Let’s get a move on,” he orders and the kids shuffle to the car. Only for Steve to realize there’s not enough room in his car. He looks at the car and the group of kids who decided to make him a babysitter. Sure, he could make them squish but it’s more than just an arcade run. “Fuck it, I’m gonna call a friend, then we can use their van.” He sighs and the kids complain that he’s taking forever even though he’s sped through everything this morning for the little shits.

 He goes to the phone and stares at it for a long moment. What if Eddie was busy? What if he didn’t want to deal with Steve today? What if-

“Are you going to just stare at the phone or use it?” Max snarked and Steve snaps into motion. Dialing Eddie’s number with far more ease than he should have. He’s called the man a few times. And sure Eddie’s been calling him most nights to say good night but he shouldn’t be so used to calling.

 It rings and he is almost ready to give up when it clicks and he hears a gruff, "hello?"

Steve freezes, Eddie's Uncle must have answered. Fuck. "Uh, hi Mister Munson, is Eddie there?" He asks awkwardly and shifts, watching the kids pile around his island, watching him. 

Then a muted yell then another before he talks into the phone, "he's coming."

 There's shuffling, then a tired “yeah?” Then a big yawn.

Steve glances at the time and feels bad, 9:07. He clears his throat anyways. “Hey, um, it’s Steve?” He says awkwardly and gets a snort from Max. All the kids waiting impatiently next to her. He glares over at them and flips her off before he makes a big shooing motion. When none of them move he looks to Lucas and Will who take pity on him and shove the others out of the room.

 There’s a pause before a smack and “Steve? Hey, what’s up?” Eddie’s voice sounds cheerful and it’s a giant leap from earlier.

“Uh, yeah, I was- well the kids I babysit were wanting to go shopping for Snowball, you know the dance? And my car can’t fit all of them. I was wondering if you wanted to join me. Or if I could just borrow the van. You don’t have to waste your day on me. I just- It’s not safe and I-”

“Slow down, sweetheart. Of course, I want to spend the day with you.” Eddie cuts in and Steve’s chest does something funny.

 Steve blinks, trying to shake off the weird feeling, “right. Yeah, great. Uh, I can meet you at the trailer. Sorry it’s so early, they literally woke me up knocking on my door. They’re little shits,” he tries to laugh but he’s too tired to get it perfect.

“No, problem, Stevie. I’ll have enough time by the time you get here to get ready.” There’s muffled noise on the other side before a laugh from Eddie. “Yeah, Wayne told me to get out and get some sun so, sounds like a perfect thing to do. See ya soon, darling.” Then the phone disconnected and Steve was left with Eddie’s laugh in his mind. An echo of sweetheart, Stevie, and darling in his mind.

 He scrubbed a hand over his face before marching the kids out and letting them squish in with Max in the passenger seat. Max fiddles with the radio until she’s satisfied with a Blondie song. “So, this friend of yours…” Dustin drawls out and Steve glances back at him in the mirror.

“What?” Steve questions and Mike scoffs.

The little asshole looks disappointed before they even see Eddie. “We’re not gonna have to deal with another jock, are we?”

“I didn’t think you had any other friends,” Max said and Steve’s gaze snapped back to the road.

 His hands tighten on the wheel but he can’t get mad. He doesn’t even know if he and Eddie are really friends after all. Maybe Jeff is his friend but the rest of them… well, all of them could be pitying him. “Yeah, I get it. Laugh it up,” he says sarcastically. “Just behave, I don’t need you scaring him off before we even get in the van.” He states and puts on a mask that is well-worn.

 The kids complain and argue but when they come to a stop in front of the Munson trailer they do quiet down. They let Steve walk up to the door alone and he knocks softly. The door swings open and an older man stands there in a flannel and jeans. “Uh, you must be Wayne, er, Mister Munson, sir? I’m Steve, uh, Harrington. It’s nice to meet you, sir,” he says awkwardly and Wayne raises an eyebrow at the hand Steve offers before taking it.

“Just Wayne’s fine kid.” He says and waves Steve in. Steve glances back at the kids and makes an I’m watching you gesture before he slips into the trailer. “Ed’s just finishin’ up. He’s not an early bird,” Wayne muses and he picks up a chipped mug from a fishing tournament it seemed.

 “I’m so close to being done,” Eddie calls from the room in the back and Steve can’t help but smile.

Wayne clears his throat, “so, Harrington, huh?” He questions and Steve goes rigid. He looks over at the man and he seems to be looking for something. He must find something because he frowns a little and takes a sip from his mug. “I didn’t care for your daddy.”

Steve smiles weakly, “You wouldn’t be the only one.”

The older man nods and waves him towards Eddie’s room, “go hurry my boy up or you’ll be here all day.”

 Steve nods sharply and goes to head back but Wayne stops him one more time. “And kid, you’re always welcome here.” He states and Steve knows who Eddie got his sheep herding habits from. He smiles and nods before he knocks on the frame of what had to be Eddie’s room. The door swings in from the knock and he leans in the doorway, the perfect image of calm and cool.

 He takes in the mess, the posters, the guitar, and the fucking handcuffs. Steve swallows hard and looks at Eddie who’s digging through a pile of clothes. “Sorry, I’m not finding my wallet. I think it’s in a pair of jeans or maybe a hundred different places. I’m not actually sure. Like I’ve tried going back from when I last remember having it but…” Eddie groans as another pair of jeans is empty.

 Steve moves further into the room to offer a hand but when he clears his throat, something else comes out. “Can you not say anything about Billy?” He blurts out instead of an offer to help look or a joke. It comes out all nervous and awkward like it couldn’t be stopped.

Eddie pauses and looks over at Steve, “yeah, course. I wouldn’t make you seem uncool or-”

 Steve laughs a little dejected, “dude. Trust me when I say they don’t think I’m cool. They watched my ass get beat by Billy already. I just- I don’t need them to know that he’s still, you know?”

Eddie stands and looks like he wants to pull Steve into another hug like the other day. (A hug that Steve still didn't fully understand but liked anyways.) But he doesn’t, he just nods. “Don’t worry, you’re secret’s safe with me,” He promises.

 Then he leans in close to Steve, arm brushing Steve’s neck until he pulls back with his wallet in his hand. “My backpack,” he grins and Steve glances back to see the bag hooked on the back of the door. Steve can only nod, his mouth dry as Eddie heads back towards the front door. He shakes himself and follows after him.

 When they get out they see Lucas and Mike arguing, Max and Dustin looking into Eddie’s van, and Will awkwardly watching it all. Steve clears his throat loudly and puts his hands on his hips. They all give him an innocent smile that only Will makes convincing. “Dipshits, meet Eddie,” he gestures to Eddie who’s got his black ripped jeans, an iron maiden shirt, a red flannel, and his leather jacket over it all.

 Mike blinks and immediately is bitchy, “wow. I didn’t think you’d have non-preppy friends.”

Steve snaps his fingers and points at him, “Wheeler you’re on thin ice.” He states and glances over at Eddie with an apologetic face. “Eds meet Max, Dustin, Lucas, Mike, and the only nice one, Will.” He points them all out and Eddie’s face goes through a few different emotions.

 “Okay, so let me get this straight,” Eddie starts and glances over at Steve, then the kids, then back to Steve. “You babysit Nancy’s younger brother, Jonathan’s younger brother, and Billy’s younger-”

“Stepsister,” Max interrupts with a sour look on her face.

“And Steve’s our friend, not just a babysitter,” Dustin adds looking a little annoyed to be labeled as a kid Steve babysat.

Steve moves and ruffles Dustin’s hair, “course, Henderson.”

 Eddie nods and tosses the keys up into the air and catches them. “Well, little ones I believe it’s time to embark on our adventure.” He says in his DM voice that has Steve smiling. The kids perk up and once the doors are unlocked, they scramble into the crowded back. It's messy back there but Steve knows Eddie keeps it clean enough for the boys to fit in when they need to.

 Steve sits in the front seat and jumps as the van starts up with loud music blaring. Eddie swears and quickly turns it off. “Right, yep,” Eddie gives Steve a small, embarrassed smile. “Uh, where to?”

However, it’s not Steve who answers but Dustin. Dustin’s head peaks out from the back, “we’re looking for stylish dance attire.”

Steve mouths stylish dance attire to himself as Eddie glances at the kid with a smile of approval. “You know Dustin Henderson, I think you and I are going to be good friends.”

  @zerokrox-bloglog @cyranyxx @adaed5 @the-redthreadd @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaringceyoustopcaring @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshitorthisshit @failedstarsandgoldencloudsds @bisexualdisastersworldd @deadlydodoss @anythingyouwanttobee @nburkhardtt @bestwifehaverr @thehumblefigtreee @megzdoodlee @swimmingbirdrunningrockk @mightbeasleepp @bxlthazarar @autumnal-dawnn @chillichatss @nonbinary-eddie-munsonon @the-daydreamer-in-the-cornerner @eddie-munson-is-my-wifewife @a-little-unsteddiedie @sharingisntkaren @a-huge-nerdy-nerd @0o-queendean-o0 @beckkthewreck @vi-an-te @vampireinthesun @newtstabber @dinosareawesome2137  @spicemallow @hellomynameismoo  @luthienstormblessed @briceslayed @angeldreamsoffanfic @dbquills @prideandsensibility @iwouldsail @ponfarrtimeatthevulcannightclub @spectrum-spectre @the-chilly-kat @yearningagain @loopsmd @starlight-archer @sleepy-time @goodolefashionedloverboi  @crazyshipper67  @sherrylyn628  @bidisastersworld  @v3lnys  @n0connections  cherixxx69  theotalksalot  tailsfromthecrypt  ledleaf  grimmfitzz  @pyrohonk

(SORRY I CAN’T TAG ANYMORE PEOPLE!)

[devondespresso]

ITS TIME FOR SCOOPS TROOP (+ MAX) THOUGHTS BABEYYYY

sometimes i forget season 4 happens less than a year after Starcourt. meaning the party had yet to experience a little 1 year trauma anniversary of the horrors from that summer and a good few new members would be so out of the loop for it

thinking about Scoops Troop getting hit particularly hard by the anniversary of kidnapping and torture (and especially because the Russian shit is distinctly different scary than the upside down horrors that plague the party year-round) and Max's conflict with Billy's death, all of those feeling from right after starcourt coming back like it happened last week instead of last year

so with the resurgence of the old pain, Scoops Troop all decide to reuse their old coping mechanisms too

meaning for the first week of July they are physically inseparable again, the four having nightly sleepovers and basically living side-by-side. Camping out at Steve's or Robin's or Dustin's or even Erica's house different nights of the week (Steve and Robin asking the week off from work, claiming a family vacation if they can't trust their manager with the truth that its a PTSD Extravaganza)

Max joining in often to avoid being alone with her thoughts (she also hangs out with the rest of the party splitting her time up pretty evenly but ofc Scoops Troop is the ideal choice for those odd hours of the night) and all 5 (or 6, ofc Lucas joins too if they're at the Sinclair's) have fun distracting themselves most of the week with whatever they need. Silly kids movies and board games and card games, playing with Erica's dolls and discussing MLP, looking at all Dustin's science projects and playing with Tews, going through Robin's instrument collection and language books, Steve trying to teach everyone basketball or little games like horse (Lucas joins too ofc, Max watches mostly and is deemed the 'judge' of if something 'counts' aka Dustin and Erica keep barely missing and want credit for almost getting a shot)

but just like last year, distractions only last so long. every day they're doing something harmless and someone at some point breaks. maybe they let themselves space out and think a little too long, sometimes theres a reminder nobody could've avoided, sometimes they just went a little too long without acknowledging it. either way they all work with it no matter who it is or whats bothering them.

Steve and Dustin usually need to sit with whatever emotion broken them, let themselves feel after spending so much time keeping it together for the people around them. Steve needs to sit and cry, if he's around people he needs to feel like theres no rush to be better again, like he has all the time in the world to sit and cry and be useless. Dustin needs a cry with reassurance, that he did his best in a situation he had very little control over and having him there helped everyone so much. This means Steve's crys are pretty quiet, filled with hugs and soft silence that lets time slip away, while Dustin's crys have a soundtrack of gentle words with them

Robin also needs spoken reassurance. She spirals and catastrophizes very easily and needs to work through stuff out-loud without being allowed to work herself into a self-deprecating frenzy. Steve is used to working that balance of letting her let things out without getting out of hand, and Dustin and Erica are great at giving logical solutions whenever she starts catastrophizing

Erica is a middle ground between the two. She needs to sit and feel her emotions because she constantly feels she has a reputation to maintain, and she needs to work things out out-loud like Robin but doesn't catastrophize as easily. The hard part for her is getting support without pity, which has a learning curve but eventually Scoops Troop has it down and it helps her a lot having a guaranteed safety net for her more vulnerable moments

Max doesn't break around them nearly as often, partially because she's not spending all her time with the group but mostly because she grew up having to keep that stuff in for so long she still struggles being seen while vulnerable, and having open emotions is extra difficult when the person you're sad about is also responsible for your struggles being openly vulnerable.

when she does break, she needs the control over those moments. she needs to be able to control whos seeing and hearing her, how long she cries and how hard, how much she tells and who she's talking to. she prefers to be alone or with only one person with her, ideally Lucas because they have the most familiarity and trust built up. She'll either find a room to leave to or everyone will move to a different room for the time, and Lucas sits with her and lets her let everything out at her own pace. When Lucas isn't there and can't be, she'll pick someone else to sit with her, usually Robin because she's pretty easy to read and Max knows shes good at sitting and listening with Steve when he's breaking. Sometimes she'll get Steve if she needs reassurance, someone who'll know what to say to bring her out of it.

and sometimes multiple people break at once. Steve and Robin's trauma have similar triggers so often times its the two of them breaking and clinging to each other like the earth beneath them will crumble if they let go. Robin usually holds onto Steve like a little teddy bear, keeping him close so she can protect him, and Steve loves how she'll hold him and makes him feel safe. Dustin and Erica help talk Robin through her breakdown while she's holding onto Steve.

Dustin and Erica will sometimes break if they loose sight of Steve and Robin for a moment, prompting a more-talk-less-cling-and-sob pile with Robin and Steve going back and forth helping talk them through it and letting them cry it out

And if everyone breaks? chaos, at least from an outside perspective. lots of hugging and crying with the talkers working through their shit together and reassuring the others. from the outside it'd almost be comical if it weren't for the circumstances causing it

It all becomes an unspoken agreement, taking less than a day for Scoops Troop to get on the same page (after all, they're treating it basically like post-Starcourt part 2) and about a day and a half for Max to join them. Even as the emotions come back full swing, its a lot easier to deal with because of the general understanding from everyone. Their parents realize its the anniversary of The Fire and are better equipped to support their kids however they need (even if it means letting them have sleepovers all week, they learned the first time that it helps a lot and the intensity of it will pass). The Party also understands whats going on (they all have their own trauma anniversaries that hit harder like the end of November for Mike and the Byers) and being supportive too, like inviting Scoops Troop and Max to any get-togethers instead of just Dustin (so he doesn't have to awkwardly ask if they can come too) and in general inviting Max a lot so she always has the option to not be alone.

Hellfire though? and the newest party members (Eddie, Vickie, Argyle, maybe Chrissy too because i love her)? they're Lost™ at first.

Vickie is the first to kinda grasp whats going on, being closest to Robin (and Steve by extension dtjsjysj) she was hanging out with her when Robin realized she needed to be around all of Scoops Troop again to be able to calm the panic and she joined their first sleepover

Eddie and Chrissy next (assuming she joined Hellfire, which she so would) who noticed the Upside Down Trauma a mile away and just had to piece together the reason this time ("no its not back, its just the third and fourth marks a year since the Starcourt 'mall fire'- yeah no not really a fire. a lot worse actually')

Hellfire never really gets the full explanation of why Steve, Robin and Erica all also need to attend this weeks session specifically or why Gareth still isn't allowed to do a Russian accent for his Chaotic Neutral Halfling rouge Geörgov the Gruesome. Eddie gives him the most intense stink eye if he so much as attempts an accent close to it and when asked he just insists and throws in a new excuse every time thats so wild its comical and almost distracts from the fact that he's refusing to tell them

and once they actually witness Scoops Troop together (especially Steve and Robin 'what do you mean they're not dating? not even like crushes? nothing?) they just kinda have to accept that they're Just Like That Sometimes with the Party awkwardly deflecting and Eddie being amusingly cryptic

and Argyle is the last one to know, entirely because he just assumed they were close like that entirely unrelated to trauma. And everyone assumed he knew based on how chill he was. Until he asked what a Starcourt was, wondering if it was a new Star Wars thing he missed

Just Scoops Troop bonding like stray cats that should not be seperated. They've seen so many horrors at this point they definitely give No Fucks about how weird they look as long as the rest of their group doesn't have a problem

[cutiewutiepatootie]

helena x reader where reader is just trying to lure helena to bed (sleep & cuddles) after a long day of work even though helena has reports to fill out (that can totally be done later...) pls pls pls (no pressure if this is tew much though)

I should be asleep but uhm one request down woohooooo

Helena Harper x fem!reader Tags: none really, Reader is irritated with Helena who is tired

“Helena, just come to bed!”

It was late, 4:35 am to be exact. You had woke up in the middle of the night, typical, you could just go back to bed. But usually the bed you were resting in wasn’t empty at this time. Usually your girlfriend, Helena, had given up on reports for the night and headed to bed. But tonight, something about those reports, that could totally be finished later, kept her up.

“No..I need to finish these..” Helena, who was obviously very tired, returned. 

You stood behind Helena and grabbed her wrists, firmly gripping them and moving your head to look at her face. 

“Let go, I’ll only be a few more minutes.” Helena quietly pleaded, attempting to grab the reports that were just out of reach from her locked down hands.

The slight movement was enough for you to grip her wrists even harder, pushing her to just give it up for the night.

“Ow!” She muttered, “fine, I’ll go to sleep, but could you be any gentler.”

That was enough to change your demeanor from irritated, to happy. You instantly gentled your grip on her wrists, although not exactly freeing them as she got up. 

“Took you long enough.” You stated sarcastically, taking one wrist out of your grasp before leading her to your shared bed.

As if the two of you would get anymore sleep, or at least, she probably wouldn’t.

[dwaekki-bee]

10 bl boys I want carnally

I just wanted to do it

Not in any particular order

1. Prapai from Love in the air

He's not really my type in the looks department but I want to be treated like he treated Sky

2. Him from For him

(Nail too tho)

The show is losing me but the first post I posted about this show was that I thought Him was hot

3. Tew from my dear gangster oppa

He's hot. That's all I got for you

4. Yechan from Love Tractor

He's adorable

5. Segasaki Mizuki from my personal weatherman

He's so pretty it's unfair

6. SeungHyun from the new employee

He's also adorable

7. JongChan from the new employee

He's a good looking guy what can I say

8. Mhok from last twilight

I love his eyes and the way he treats and protects Day

9. Katori from Takara-kun & Amagi-kun

I will not explain

10. Ida from My Love Mix-up

When he said "I'll miss you" when he thought Aoki was switching courses 😭 that's when he got me

An honorable mention is King from Bed Friend

I also just have to mention this next guy even though he is not a bl boy

He Qiaoyan from Unforgettable Love

I wish I could put a picture because I am in love with him

[imminent-danger-came]

do you find mk's arc in s3 a tad repetitive? i saw this point brought up in a video essay on his series long arc

Naw man.

Progress isn't linear. MK more often than not makes progress in an area and then promptly regresses afterwards (like in ROTSQ MK learned that he was separate from SWK, and that he had to find "his own way to win", which he then completely abandons in the back half of s2. After Minor Scale it's all about becoming as powerful as Monkey King as quick as he can). I like to joke MK is "2 steps forward 4 steps back" the character. He'll say "We're stronger together" in 2x10, but by the time 4x08 rolls around he's wondering if he'll just end up hurting the people he cares about (and then he'll fail to apply this logic to why Wukong would choose to take similar actions, say during s2 or at the end of s3, being delightfully hypocritical).

Then there's where MK actually is development wise at the end of s2 vs s3. By the end of s2 he's lost all of his abilities and given LBD everything she needs to destroy the world, with the only good thing happening being Monkey King's return. Of course he's worried about facing the Lady Bone Demon like he is in s2—in fact, the threat got much worse. Not only is LBD more powerful, but both him and Monkey King are powerless. Their only hope is in an uncontrollable weapon they have to reforge.

In s1 MK is just trying to master his new role as the Monkey Kid (even then wanting to protect his friends and the city, thank you 1x01). In ROTSQ he believes he'll never be as good as Wukong, carrying this belief into s2. As the stakes keep growing, MK feels more and more pressure to live up to the legacy of Monkey King, and in that desperation becomes the perfect pawn in LBD's plans. He assumes he was the wrong choice, the wrong successor, and that Wukong knows that too. After he realizes Wukong left for him in s2, in s3 he then jumps to Wukong ditching him over being a "mere mortal" again. But, MK wants to help. He wants to save his friends. By the end of s3, we've still yet to acknowledge the core issue MK's had since the AHIB special: his self-confidence. His identity and his esteem. MK's never been happy with himself (except for that one time in ROTSQ):

But, after ROTSQ came Wukong leaving in 2x01, LBD's manipulation in 2x05, Macaque's manipulation in 2x07, his ultimate failure in 2x10, being powerless in 3x01, Wukong's lies throughout s3, Wukong and Mei both leaving at the end of 3x10, and then the "to pain scene" in 3x14.

And then in s4 we hammer the nail in the coffin further with 4x07 and 4x08 living up to LBD's words: doing what you think is right leads to pain.

I think the end of TEW will be another ROTSQ situation, where currently MK is okay leaving the world a little bit better than he found it, but it's a philosophy on a shaky foundation. All it'll take is one push to all come crumbling down (and we have SO many things at this point that could be that push—MK's origins/true identity, SWK and Macaque's true falling out, another world ending calamity [no 'ol half marathons here]). Because, at the end of the day, MK may leave the world better than he found it, but he still needs to be okay making mistakes and being MK. He needs to be okay with hurting the people he cares about, because that's what happens as a part of life. He's still so hung up on keeping everything the same. He wants a world where both him and his friends never have to struggle, which will just never happen.

Like, it's ridiculous to me how high of a note the s4 special ended on for everyone in the gang. It's like being on the final episode of a season and seeing that everything's resolved and great, but knowing there's 20 minutes left before the end. You just know it's all going to come crashing down. It's going to get worse before it gets better.

And you know what! I'll say this: being mentally ill is repetitive. And that's what MK is. He has anxiety. He has depression. I mean this seriously and sincerely. MK's running around in circles in his own mind trying to run away from himself (doing so quite literally in 4x07). But he can't man. None of us can.

[negrowhat]

15 Day BL Challenge 2K24

FULL CHALLENGE HERE. Only 5 is crazy, what was I thinking?

Day 13: Give 5 Good Boys A Gold Star ⭐

Gavreel Alarcon from Gameboys ⭐. My sweet dimply sunshine boy. Gav was just a great, understanding, happy, and supportive man. He could do absolutely no wrong in my eyes. And despite his past depression from very recently losing his grandmother and being hit with the quarantine at basically the same time he just kept a really positive attitude because he truly cared about the people in his life and I would literally fight anyone for Gav. Tita Susan better fucking watch out, I fight old people too. 1 Million Gold stars for Gav!

Cha Yeowoon from Love for Love's Sake ⭐. A sad boy rescued by another sad boy. I wasn't expecting for him to be such a smiley and soft boy because we really only got his cute side around Myungha until he got comfortable around his new friends. I really have to thank Myungha for introducing the world to this sweet and loving lil nugget. He is literally the best boy and all he wants to do is take care of Myunha and reciprocate the love, adoration, and devotion he was given. 4 Million Gold stars for Yeowoon.

Namnuea from Wedding Plan ⭐. All my boy wanted to do was eat and plan beautiful weddings. He believed so heavily in love and I loved that about him. Also he didn't take any bullshit and was outspoken and fought for himself. Nuea is just a great well-rounded character and I found myself falling in love with him instantly (like Sailom) and never did that love waver (like Sailom). 1 Billion Gold stars for Nuea.

Phumjai from Love in Translation ⭐. You will NEVER find a happier boy. He's a literal ray of sunshine with the hugest and kindest heart. He almost seemed carefree. He wore his heart on his sleeve and spoke his thoughts. I absolutely love how transparent he was with everyone around him, he didn't try hide anything. When his feeling changed for Tammy he informed her and apologized and also told Yang how he felt. He was just a smart and honest boy and I wouldn't have it any other way. 12 Billion Gold stars for Phumjai!

Guy from My Dear Gangster Oppa ⭐. Like Tew I WOULD FUCKING FIGHT A WAR FOR GUY! He's literally the sweetest most perfect boy in the entire world. He just had too much love to give and some people took advantage of that. He saw the best in everyone and he really pulled Tew out of his gangster persona and turned him into a simping man. Like I love Guy with all of my heart. 3.2 Trillion Gold stars for Guy!