#THEN I HAD TO WRITE THIS LOG

[christronomy]

the angel's wings flutter slightly as shivers go down his spine, and he let's out a shaky breath. "we shouldn't be doing this..." is what he was about to say, but his breath hitches in his throat when you lean in to kiss his neck, the light pressure of your soft lips against his skin making him bite his lip and lean his head back subconsciously, providing some more room for you to kiss. his skin wasn't like a human's, in the sense that it was extremely clear, almost textureless, like porcelain, and soft like silk. it was also extremely warm and radiant, like he had been doused in a pool of light.

you'd always wondered what it would be like to touch him like this for as long as you can remember, and even now that you're finally doing it, it feels completely unreal. it doesn't feel wrong in this moment, but it also doesn't feel like it should even be possible to begin with. how someone like you, ended up with your hands on an angel—a holy entity, of all things... the odds really were in your favor. if this was a dream, you really didn't want to wake up.

he wasn't even trying to stop you as your hands trailed over his clothed body aimlessly, feeling the firmness in the muscles on his arms, on his abdomen, his thighs... even through the thick fabric of his tunic, you could tell his body was very well toned, and it made you ache for him even more.

you let your hands roave his body, pressing soft kisses against his collarbone until you reached his lips, perfectly plump and soft, like a cloud. like he was made of pieces of heaven. his tongue was already prodding at yours, wanting to taste you, and the more you touched and kissed him, the more he wanted. it was extremely dangerous for a being like him to do something like this, but it's you, and he's already so deeply in love... so maybe it's okay just this once, right?

he's so caught up his thoughts that he suddenly flinches, almost pulling away from you completely when he feels your hands trail up his back and touch the base of his wings.

hyunjin's wings are extremely sensitive to human touch, and you'd completely forgotten how much of a huge pet peeve it is for him when people attempted to touch them without his permission. you learned this in one of your earliest encounters, when he snuck into your room in the middle of the night again, the sound of the window opening startling you awake. it was the first night you realized his visits would become more frequent.

"jinnie?" you whine groggily, to which he lets out a soft chuckle as he sits on the edge of your bed, folding his large wings behind his back. your room always seemed a little brighter when he was in it, it's like he has a natural glow to his pretty pale skin. "hey you," he says softly, pinching your cheek affectionately when you scoot up to sit next to him.

"what brings you here at this time?" you ask, and he shrugs, smiling at you, his feathers fluttering a little as he does so. "it's just been a while," he says simply, leaning his head on your shoulder and unfolding one of his wings, wrapping it around you. it was a habit he'd picked up not too long after he met you, which was surprising to him, considering the fact that he never really liked physical touch all too much. being an angel who's job was to interact with humans eventually made you hate being touched, since for some reason humans always got handsy during encounters.

"it has..." you say, yawning a little as you lean into him, absentmindedly moving your hand up to play with his hair. the way it looks like it's made of pure gold has always intrigued you, and he secretly liked it when you ran your fingers through it for the first time, although it kind of annoyed him at first, since you did it without asking. but he understood that it was because you were curious. he'll only allow it if it's you, and you know that now, because he didn't pull away or jolt at your touch this time around.

but his wings were a different story. you'd noticed a stray feather that was clinging onto the wing he had draped over your shoulders, and didn't think about it before you reached out to brush it off, a soft gasp escaping your lips when he suddenly yanked it away from you, grumbling a harsh "don't...!"

you'd apologized and he was okay with it, but he was hesitant to even unfold his wings around you after that night. he recalled how scared you looked at first to even touch him after the way he'd chastised you so harshly for doing so, and he felt horrible for it, but now that this newfound desire between the two of you was rising a little more with every passing moment, the way you were kissing him made him feel things in his body he'd never felt before, and that meant that touching his wings made that feeling ten times harder to manage.

but now, he realized this time he didn't almost pull away because the sensation bothered him, it was because these new things he was feeling made them so sensitive to the touch, he almost let out a soft moan when your hand caressed his feathers. you opted for keeping your hand on the small of his back for now, your other hand trailing down to feel his thighs, tentatively inching upwards, and you let out a soft, shaky breath when you feel the bulge under the thick frabric of his tunic.

the way hyunjin is looking at you now is so full of danger. you're not even sure if this is right or wrong. your mind is too clouded from this intense desire you're experiencing to even think straight, but he hasn't stopped you, and you're too far into this to even want turn back now, but by the way he's looking at you, you can tell that he doesn't want you to either. it's almost as if he can feel the divine essence draining away from his body, being consumed by lust, dimming the light in his eyes but he can't resist you.

before he can even process what's really happening, he's got you pinned to your bed, one hand pressing against your lower abdomen, the other gripping your thigh tightly as his tongue teases you relentlessly, skillfully. it's as though he's done this before, like he already knows your body to a T. your moans are like music to his ears, and he knows what real music sounds like. he's an angel, for fucks sake—he knows what a real choir of angels singing sounds like, and it's nothing like anything in this world. but even then, your moans, the way his name drips off of your lips, sweet as honey, sounds so much better. the way you're tugging at his golden locks, pulling him impossibly closer is so much better than he could have imagined.

now he's inside of you, after having made you come on his tongue twice, and you're so sensitive you can't help the way your walls tremble and clench around him when he finally bottoms out. you feel divine. he's not sure if he'll ever be able to recover from this, although he knows he's too far gone now. his creator is surely not going to be happy when he confesses, although a certain part of him wonders if he'll have at least a little bit of mercy. love is a dangerous thing when there's too much of it, but love is also what makes up the very essense of him. surely the Creator should understand that, right?

you on the other hand, still can't believe this is even real, it's like you're living a dream within a dream. you can't help the way your hands instinctively move to touch the base of his wings when he gives you that first thrust, his cock kissing that gummy spot inside of you immediately. the sensation of your hands caressing the most sensitive part of him paired with your warmth gripping him so tightly have his head swimming in pleasure, and he can't help the sharp hiss that escapes him. he has to come inside you, claim you as his own, even if it costs him his entire existence.

"hey, jinnie... i'm curious. is being in heaven better than being here, on earth?" you ask, your voice barely a whisper as you cuddle closer to him, nuzzling your cheek against his bare chest. he nods, even though you can't really see his face. "i guess i can say it is better, in a way, because we're limitless up there. there's no pain or sickness... but if i had to choose, i'd say that this, being here with you..." he starts, staring up at the ceiling as he trails off, his fingers playing with your hair absentmindedly. some part of him is begging his god, his creator for mercy, forgiveness, and the other part of him could really give less of a fuck. you're the love of his life, but also the very thing that is going to make him lose everything, and probably end up turning him into something ugly. a monster... a demon. the very thing he'd feared his entire life. but he knows now that even if the whole world is against him, even if a god rejects him, you will still love him, regardless of what he becomes.

"this feels so much better. a thousand times better. everything is better with you, my muse."

[blueberryspyder]

Listening to Rusty Quill Gaming holiday episodes has me like

I’ve gotten into some niche shit before, but this? This is a bit much even for me

[spitblaze]

Listen. Listen to me. Having privilege in one form or another, even situational and conditional privilege, doesn't de facto make you a bad person. A transmasc that applies to a job with their chosen name, whether or not that transmasc passes otherwise, will have privilege over a transfem applying to that same job, because of societal sexism. That doesn't suddenly mean that transmasc is a violent asshole putting transfems at risk, it just means that as a transmasc you gotta be more cognizant of how you navigate the world. It doesn't mean you don't experience oppression. It doesn't even mean you don't experience oppression unique to being transmasc! What it DOES mean is that whether you like it or not, your relationship to women and non-men are inherently different than they would be if you were a woman. And you're gonna have to reckon with that. You can't stop women you don't know from viewing you as a potential threat, but you can use what privilege you may have if you're stealth or pass to advocate for women, and trans women, and other trans men, and to. Y'know. Check yourself once in a while and make sure you're not falling into the toxic masculinity and patriarchal mindset so many of us have already suffered at the hands of.

[calamitoustide]

Lily, oh Lily I just loathe you lately...

microfic - jegulily/regulily - 1.7k

  It started with a kiss. 

One Regulus wasn’t even included in. He wasn’t even there, he didn’t see it, and yet he replays it in his head almost constantly. It’s the first thought he has in the morning, he carries it with him through lunch. White knuckles braced against the table as he stares longing towards the other side of the hall, his ears ringing and he can’t hear anything anyone is trying to say to him. His friends all make comments but he doesn’t notice them. His mind is too loud, thinking of soft skin and eyes that bite. He forgets his notes, it doesn’t matter, they’re not even there. He lays awake at night unable to close his eyes without thinking, thinking, thinking. 

He should be thinking about James. He should be obsessively counting his every step. It’s how this whole thing started. James is everything, he hung the moon, and every single star in the night sky. He walks around the halls calling out to everyone by name, his smile hung wide across his face. And yes, Regulus thinks of him. He thinks of his sweat covered skin as he skips off to the locker rooms after practice. He thinks of him drunkenly coming up to him, leaning close to his ear to whisper nonsense. Even if he can’t understand it Regulus clings onto every single word. He thinks of how he looks in the morning, a sight Regulus has only seen a handful of times and yet he cherishes it like it’s the world. He thinks of his hair all messed up, and his eyes wide and soft like an infant. He thinks of him stretching out his exhaustion and the little moment his shirt lifts up to reveal what’s underneath. He thinks and he thinks and he thinks, but he’s not looking over at him. He’s looking at her. 

The rumors of James Potter and Lily Evans finally working it out spread like wildfire. It’s embers branching out until there wasn’t a single person who didn’t know about it. Their kiss happened in the middle of the Gryffindor common room, apparently no one was there, but there are always sources. Always whispers. Regulus woke up to a burn to his cheek, and a crackling outside of his window. His friends looked over at him, pity drowning in their eyes, but none of them said anything. None of them knew how. It was Pandora who finally brought him over, holding his hands gently as she broke him the news. He can’t remember his reaction. He just remembers the moment his face dropped, but he wasn’t thinking of him, he was thinking about her. 

He never minded Lily Evans before, he barely gave her a second glance. He saw her sometimes in the library, she always sat alone, pushed in the back. Even in the darkest parts of the castle the sunlight always tended to reach her. It covered her and highlighted every freckle on her face. Her eyes were always soft with contemplation, but Regulus didn’t care for her much. He always heard about James’ crush on her, of course he did, but he never cared. He didn’t think it would go anywhere. He thought to himself Lily Evans was as blind as a person can be for rejecting James. He could never understand it. How could she get James to even so much as look at her and not truly understand what that meant. How much other people would die for him to look at them like that. Resentment climbed in his liver, it overwhelmed him. Before it was a scoff at any remark. It was an eye roll at the stupidity of Lily for thinking James would just be there when she realized how daft she was truly being. 

Though the only stupid person truly was Regulus, for James was there waiting for when Lily finally opened her eyes. He was there to chase after her, like the tail-end of a shooting star. James ran circles around her, watching her like she was everything, like she was his entire world. He held open every single door for her. He’d make himself bleed for an ounce of her attention, and she never never cared. She never cared before now, but Regulus has been here. He’s been here and Lily just walked the epitome of angel dust to smile and beckon James over to her like he’s a dog on a leash she’s holding. 

“Regulus,” Pandora’s voice catches him out of his retched mind. 

“What?” Regulus snaps, not taking his eyes off her. Her with her perfect skin. Her with her perfect everything. 

“You’re going to drill a hole in her head, you know,” She comments. 

Regulus finally releases his gaze, “What are you talking about?” 

It’s just the two of them. Barty and Evan ran off somewhere, and Dorcas well she’s always with Marlene now anyway. Pandora looks over at him softly, her eyes filled with pity, “You don’t have to pretend you’re looking at James when it’s just me.” 

Regulus furrows his eyebrows, shaking his head, “I’m not just looking at her.” 

“You’re looking at both of them?” Pandora suggests. 

“Yeah,” Regulus answers, lies dripping from his mouth. 

Pandora smiles, “James walked away five minutes ago.” 

Regulus head whips aside to find her right. It’s only Lily, laughing at something one of her friends are telling her. She throws her head back like she’s a little kid. Coated in innocence in a kind of nostalgia not many people can reach towards. Sunlight nips at her face as her nose crinkles in a laugh. Her beauty endless, it’s like a knife to Regulus’ skin. Every perfection he finds in her is a scar on him. 

“Regulus?” Pandora calls out again, as if she’s talking to a child. “Is there something you need to tell me?” 

“Like what?” Regulus grumbles, looking back down at his plate, trying to fight the pull to look over at her. It’s like he’s under a spell, he’s certain she’s behind it. She wants him to look at her. She wants for all of this. She’s out to get him. He looks up again. She’s still sitting there. Why is she still there? Shouldn’t she be off chasing after James? Shouldn’t she be at his feet beck and call? Shouldn’t she be giving him the world right now? Why is she still just sitting there? 

Pandora hums, “Nothing.” 

Regulus looks over at her, “What’s your problem?” 

“You’re torturing yourself,” Pandora tells him. 

Regulus hesitates, he opens his mouth to speak but no words come out. In any other world this would be torture. He’s staring off at the girl who’s got the one thing he’s been begging for his entire life. He’s never wanted something as much as he’s wanted James. Looking over at Lily should be torture. It should kill him. It is. It’s the sweetest kind of torture. It’s a twisted lullaby. It’s a stinging on his cheek. 

“Unless,” Pandora starts, “You want to be looking at her.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Regulus says quickly. 

Pandora reaches out to grab his hand,  “I’m gonna hold your hand while I tell you this.” 

“Shut the fuck up,” Regulus tries to cut her off but when Pandora gets something in her mind it’s hard to resist it. 

“I did it with James,” Pandora explains quickly. “I’ll do the same now. You’re in love with Lily Evans.” 

“I am not in love with Lily Evans,” Regulus argues. 

Pandora narrows her eyes, “You’re not?” 

“No.” 

“Why are you staring at her?” Pandora asks. 

“She’s with James,” Regulus answers weakly. 

“Why aren’t you watching him then?” Pandora questions. “Do you even know where he is? You used to always know, you used to have his schedule perfect.” 

Regulus shrugs, “I’ve gotten busy.” 

“Right,” Pandora scoffs. “So you wouldn’t mind if I called her over here.” 

“Pan—“ 

Before he can even finish Pandora is raising her hand. Shouting out across the hall, “Hey, Evans!” 

Regulus scrambles for something to hold, to bring Pandora’s hand down and stop her from this, but it doesn’t do any good. Lily’s already looking over, her eyes dazzling in the sun. The rest happens like a dream as she leans over to her friends explaining that she’ll be going. She walks over on clouds and then she’s in front of him. His stomach ties itself together. His mouth opens but nothing comes out. 

“Hey,” Lily says, leaning across the bench to put her hands on the table. Her perfume reaches Regulus’ nose and it’s overwhelming, it’s making him slip back, like he’s in an ocean, drowning in all the waves. 

“Hi,” Pandora replies. 

Both of their gazes go towards him, but Regulus is only looking at her. 

Lily smiles with his silence, he wants to kill her. She looks away and he wants to kill her even more, “You still working on that potion?” 

“You know it,” Pandora tells her. “It’s close to being done now.” 

Regulus doesn’t care what they’re saying. He just watches Lily. He can’t look away. She’s the greatest thing that’s ever existed, and she’s got James Potter wrapped around her finger. Its should be him. 

She doesn’t stay long. Before she leaves she looks back over at Regulus, “Goodbye, Regulus.” 

“Bye,” he forces out, his tongue resting uncomfortably in his mouth. 

She laughs, it’s as soft as fresh daisies and she’s doing him in, “You’re cute,” she says, like it’s nothing, like it’s not eating Regulus whole. “I’ll see you two around.” 

Then she’s gone again. Walking down the hall, her hair blowing behind her like a fucking magazine ad. There can’t be someone that perfect. She’s just a person. She’s nobody. She’s the one James wants. She won his heart over. She’s the one lying beside him. And all Regulus wants is to lie when she lies. Lily Evans is poison and it’s slowly driving Regulus mad. She’s everywhere, like a call of the wind. He’s nothing worshipping at her feet, it makes him uneasy. 

“So,” Pandora breaks the echoing silence. “Not in love.” 

Regulus swallows thickly, his eyes still stuck in the last place she was, even if she’s moved on, “Not in love,” he forces out. 

The ache is endless, and bullets line his skin. A scar for every beauty, for which Lily Evans has infinite. 

[dumplingsjinson]

List of “so… this is how a situationship feels like, and it sucks” prompts 

“See… The thing is, if we ever “break up”, I’d be devastated. Not because we were ever together, but because I’d be wondering about the what ifs and could haves and the potential we could have had. I think that’s what would hurt the most: wondering if we could have been the best thing out there, and not being able to see that come into fruition.” 

“I mean, I’d rather be as we are than lose you entirely.” 

“You’re confusing the shit out of me! Like, do you like me, or do you not? Do you want me or what the fuck? What are we?” 

“You broke my heart, but we weren’t even fucking together in the first place, which makes this all the shittier. You played me, then moved on like you didn’t leave a mark turned scar on me.” 

“So like… Are we just going to dance around our feelings and act like we don’t want something more? Or is it just me who feels this way?”

“I feel like if you truly wanted to be with me then it wouldn’t be so hard for me to have you around me for even just a minute, you know?”

“Maybe you should end things with them? Before you get hurt.“ “Well, I know I’m probably going to get my heart broken at the end of this but I also like to suffer. Actually, to be honest, I’m already hurt, but thanks for worrying about me!”

“I get this rush when I talk to you. It’s a high I chase, and I know it’s unhealthy, but I can’t stop.”

“So apparently I don’t know how to respect myself, because I’m wanting someone who doesn’t want me back as much, if at all.” 

“Some stupid part of me believes one day this could become something more, so then I end up hurting myself because it’s apparently what I do best, because I know this isn’t going to become something more. I’m deluding myself.”

“I say I’m going to get over them when they stop responding for a while, but I damn well know I’d run back to them the moment they hit me up again.”

“I’ve long accepted the fact that we won’t ever move past this stage, but then you do shit like that and it gives me hope, and that fucking hurts.” 

“You want the security a relationship gives you, and everything else it has to offer, but you don’t want a relationship. Well, at least with me. What the hell? You don’t get to string me along like this, you fucking asshole.” 

“Well, I’m sick and tired of this shit. Either we become official or you lose me.” 

[slimeandsadness]

Handedness in DanAndPhilCrafts - Slime

A documentation and analysis of the hands that Dan and Phil use in the new Crafts video. Obviously some of this stuff is just due to filming and seating angles, but as with so much else about this video, I think some really interesting things can be intuited from it. Sorry if anyone has already done this!

This whole idea came from a post @lesbaurinkos pointing out that Dan - who's left handed - uses his right hand to sacrifice Phil, and comparing it to this exchange from Glitter Faces:

Phil: If you're left handed, ask a friend. Dan: Why am I left handed? Phil: Everybody makes mistakes.

This implies that there is something wrong with Dan's left handedness, and I've seen some suggest that this is what leads him to do rituals with his right. Others still say that perhaps this shows a transition of some sort, so that he is not the same person. While these are valid and interesting readings, I'd like to put forward a different theory.

Traditionally, the left hand has been seen as sinister (literally the Latin word for left, while the right was 'dexter'), so one would think that Dan's left handedness would actually be a boon for a Satanic ritual. It's a mark of otherness, of queerness, that was historically punished by a Christian society who saw it as deviant and wicked.

Indeed, it isn't just Dan who uses a hand different from his dominant one for ritualistic practice. Although we don't see Phil make the cut on Dan's hand, when he holds the knife, he holds it in his left hand.

Likewise, once it cuts to the next shot, the knife is at an angle that suggests it having been put down from his left.

Dan's wound is on his right hand, and he uses this hand for many of the ritualistic elements to come, including - while still in Crafts mode - anointing himself and Phil in slime and holding the knife while telling us that He wants it 'straight from the source'.

This might be because his left hand is out of action due to all that blue slime on it. How did that blue slime get there? First, a word on the slime itself.

The two slimes serve different purposes. Dan's slime is intended to be a vessel and Phil's will be 'fun to touch'. Thus, while the red slime is only for Him, I would argue that the blue slime is for Them. After all, creativity is nothing without friendship.

That homoerotic hand grab with Phil - which squishes together the friendship slime, the same colour as Phil's eyes, as Dan points out - represents 'friendship' as the other force alongside Him. In this hand grab, Dan's dominant hand becomes covered in slime, leaving only his non-dominant hand for ritual purposes.

Interestingly, Phil is using his left hand here (his ritual hand), perhaps a sign of their differing priorities. I won't go into too much detail here, but I've seen others make interesting posts about Phil doing things for Him, and Dan doing them for Phil. This isn't too important here, as it's Dan's deliberate choices after this about which hand to use that become particularly interesting.

Indeed, after this, Dan draws the sigils on the walls with his right hand, and he also walks into the room to complete the sacrifice holding the knife in his right hand. If his right hand is his ritual hand, this makes sense.

However, and I haven't seen anyone mention this yet, he leaves the room with it in his left hand.

I think this is fascinating, since - as with the cut in Dan's hand - we don't see what happens between these two shots. We hear Phil scream and assume Dan has stabbed him as planned, but we don't get to see which hand he actually wields the knife with. Going with my above thesis, perhaps this is because it is muddy and unknowable to what extent Dan is doing this for Him (the right hand) and to what extent he's doing it for Phil (the left).

We can also view this in contrast with the hand cut from earlier, where the discarded knife indicates that Phil completed the whole thing with his left (ritual) hand.

Dan also has a bloody handprint on his shirt, presumably from Phil in his final moments, and it's a right hand print. This is Phil's 'friendship' hand. Despite Phil's ultimate devotion to Him, during the moment of his greatest sacrifice, it is the deep intimacy of this act between the two of them that is most important.

In the final ritual scene, Dan begins by holding the knife in his right hand (his ritual hand).

However, he then holds it in both hands, just as he holds Phil's heart in both hands a moment later. Both ritual and friendship are working together here, and he continues for the rest of the scene to use both hands to anoint them in Phil's heart's blood.

In the final shot, they are stood in their usual formation (Dan on stage right, Phil on stage left) and they each hold an item of ritualistic significance in their non-dominant, ritual hand. Dan holds Phil's heart in his right hand; Phil holds the knife in his left. What they each hold in their dominant hands is each other.

As a few others have pointed out, the rope of Baphomet behind them also evokes imagery of handfasting. That suggests that this is not just a summoning of Baphomet, but also a marriage ceremony of sorts. They are bound not just to Baphomet, but to each other.

A lot of this is, of course, because of their standard way round of sitting, so that their dominant hands are always between them, but it is fascinating that they made the choice to continue with this motif even once they were roaming free.

This is my final thesis, then, that throughout the video they both use their non-dominant hands for acts of ritualistic significance, while their dominant hands become important for their relationship. This is especially true for Dan, whose devotion often seems split between Him and Phil. Dan's left handedness could additionally act as a metaphor for queerness, so it's especially notable the way that this hand is reserved only for Phil.

Basically:

[silusvesuius]

unleashing the same hellscape i did on my notes app here it's my nelvas thinking dump i wrote just for fun and to keep track of what i view them as up 2 this point. Might change my mind on it later on it has a lot of things written in brackets for no reason . it's like ~2500 words long which isn't much but i think i said everything i've had in my mind for now read it for fun if you like to have fun leik me :) And talvas :) And nelothxP

retyping what i said in the tags of those last text posts and rearranging those thoughts a bit: in my train of thought that's been going steady since early 2024 i'm almost certain that neloth might see talvas as the epitome of being morally Clean (before that changes because of neloth's influence over him) and generally pure as a person. pure not used in the Pervert way; neloth is just a veeery big fan of talvas having absolutely no backbone and being very docile when it comes to him. which is r expected traits 4 someone if they find themselves under neloth's thumb as an apprentice, but it being written that he isn't at all catty and defiant to his face is cute. all talvas manages to do is shit talk neloth to others and pray neloth doesn't find out he meant the things he said but also can’t help feeling bad about it, even though neloth doesn't and wouldn't care, if he found out. neloth is happy with being an obnoxious & disgusting person. truly.. him growing obsessed with talvas' docile and innocent nature doesn't necessarily have to add up to him wanting to Taint or Ruin him (and if it happens ((it does)) it's not done on purpose, neloth can't hold that much control and power of his actions in that specific department). he encounters difficulties when he realizes he actually wants that Elven Twink.. it's too far gone to fix anything after he's tampered with talvas' patience and stability, and even then he can't be honest with talvas about anything, because he still wants to hold a great deal of power over him (neloth essentials for survival).

Might be the type to just want talvas to magically(haha) think it's okay that his wizard master desires him and expect that energy right back without talvas actually acknowledging it because it'd make neloth feel insanely cringy and embarrassed.. humiliated.. EVEN. but that's just in a deep deep dark corner of his mind, he isn't stupid. when trying to gain 'access' to his apprentice ("*His* apprentice" is also kinda funny way of viewing his mind too. just cause talvas is working as an apprentice under him neloth probably already feels a concerning sense of ownership over him that makes him feel very good) he can't even make the signs of interest be apparent to talvas because he's insanely inept at being Soft and honest for obvious reasons. he can tell what possibly could make talvas warm up to him even after he treats him like shit for eons but there's no way he's bringing himself to do it (change is embarrassing, especially in their formal dynamic, and especially at his age). so it's a half-assed attempt (actually he's trying his hardest🙄) to try and make talvas be (at least) less afraid of him. not that talvas has any other place that we know of that he "Belongs" to, he just sticks with neloth regardless of anything. neloth watching him as he sleeps ensues . Guys what do i do to make my apprentice let me hit because all of the eye contact i do with him while gripping his arm or petting his knee isn't helping. 

if we were to go back to how that spark is ignited in neloth swamp of a heart, brain… idk, it has to be when he realizes talvas' capability of forgiveness and 'Sucking it up' instead of lashing out at neloth after .. anything, but perhaps physical abuse in particular. neloth a 100% has absolutely no problem putting his hands on anyone, especially someone he sees so often, such as talvas. not that talvas really annoys him (his clear and voiced obedience pleases neloth as anyone can tell), but he just doesn't see it as too much of a big deal. the physical mistreatment that happens once in a blue moon isn't intense enough to scare off talvas for sure anyways. neloth is a bitch so all he can so is smack him at the back of the head (talvas finds it very normal) and slap him if he's feeling festive (something talvas finds kinda extreme but not that it happens often. he sometimes feels like he deserves it, or that neloth is warranted to do as he pleases. he tosses around it being justified or pitying himself, though). May be possible that neloth would realize he Like Likes talvas once he slaps him, mayhaps, for the first time, but talvas' immediate reaction to being treated like that is just sadness mixed with feeling shame for tearing up/crying in front of someone he respects *bishoujo sparkles sfx*. talvas is a delicate soul so he can't hold warranted emotions like that for long, and even tho it's expected of him to be making eye contact w/ neloth in a setting like that, he wouldn't be able 2 bring himself to do it because looking at neloth would make him wanna burst out in tears like a weeeee baby. Booo hooo.. talvas is the 19th century (4th era) damsel that runs out of the ball in tears after no young cavalier invited her to dance. watch this bleed into the most awkward and silent week of neloth's entire life because talvas doesn't even really feel like speaking to him or looking at him, but neloth doesn't wanna brute force the usual respectful etiquette out of him cus he thinks that's just gonna make talvas hurl himself down on some rough rocks at the seashore. Good thing talvas is very spineless and forgiving (especially in relation to neloth… i mean.. who r YOU to not forgive him) so that might just last a day or two. the hurt always stays tho. neloth this is why talvas doesn't wanna smash you.. you might've made some conclusions about what elven twink you like but talvas is just even more scared of you now. was your Pervert awakening worth it. and even if we do backflips and jump thru the point where everything is too far gone for either of them to go back, dude is still too afraid to make out with his apprentice. Deserve. but why though because talvas wouldn't refuse. for what reason? we may never know

^^^ this makes me feel like i love seeing characters i reaaaalllly love (elenwen and talvas in this case) as enigmas in situations where they're confronted with something so ""Intimate"". elenwen's stance on this is final tho cause she's a grown ass woman and there's no way you could reshape her brain. ulfric left her mind plane in SHAMBLES. talvas has more right (in the literal sense) to be erratic or inconsistent with his actions. maybe he likes to be desired. Also i strongly believe that talvas has probably never been in love (for any reason rly but it's mostly him not having actual time for it + not seeing it as something that is important to him at that point in his life)… i want neloth to be his first experience with Love so that it ruin his view on it forever. can't get myself to say he'd be in love with neloth at any point though. From his standpoint it really should feel empowering and 'nice' that neloth wants him in many ways (ew).. cause that's a man with status.. power.. ability to do anything rly . talvas is in no condition to be playing mind games with him or anything tho so don't get that idea. he's not strong enough of a person to be Tricking anyone or to be Playing with anyone's feelings. neloth would be immune to that, too. neloth can just kinda tell talvas is too good and … UNTAINTED. talvas wants to see the best in everyone. too bad he genuinely detests you, neloth.. so: he doesn't actually love neloth but wouldn't be happy to see his tombstone either. SO (PART TWO): if you time it right he wouldn't be against getting Freakkkkyyyy with you okay?but no promises

even if @ some point talvas develops indistinct feelings towards neloth cause of neloth's own incessant weird-mild advances it wouldn't have to mean he just likes old men permanently now. actually it kinda does. i can sorta feel it rearranging his braincells and making him unable to normally interact with people in his age range. he probably already had a hard time talking to others in hopes of developing a friendship just cause he's timid but after neloth's nonstop abuse and Accidental romance mind games he morphs into a whole new type of guy. it's hard to notice at first but he'd probably just start to leech off of neloth's prissy and unbearable personality in a natural course of things + neloth is the only person he sees and talks to on the regular pretty much. < this can just be reworded as just the cycle of abuse and whatnot. if he notices an opening in the abilities and Smarts of another person, especially someone his age/younger, he will automatically see them as umm…stupid. and also insult your abilities to your face if he snaps. he strikes me as the type to be afraid to say what he really thinks (another consequence of being glued to neloth all the time when all talvas does is act like he totally respects anything he says) and gets scared if anything slips out his mouth but is proud in letting the "Truth" be known because he already figured out you're a lesser being than him. he's just cloning neloth's verbal abuse braincells though he would never put his hands on someone. his desire to be mean and see himself as superior stems from neloth always disparaging him obviously.. talvas 4 that reason is very self conscious of his abilities and doesn't rly think he's all that useful or talented. his self doubt then would play into how he doesn't know when to believe what others are saying to and about him.. i wanna imagine that talvas is very oblivious to neloth's weirdo status just cause he partly doesn't even want that thought to cross his mind. i bet everyone but him sees it and finds it gross😕 but nobody in the vicinity is strong enough to tell neloth that he should be ashamed LMFAO. if you would try and even hint to talvas that it's happening he'd never take you seriously and just get mad. he's protective of neloth's image more than neloth himself is; not that people knowing neloth has abnormal sodomistic inclinations toward his apprentice would make his public image worse than it already is (everyone already thinks he's weird so it's not shocking at all) but talvas still wouldn't wanna hear it cause he thinks it's just false. maybe he's just ashamed that he's being brought into the whole thing. also because he doesn't wanna face the reality EJI23JRIO32KJ Well talvas when neloth makes an actual move on you don't say that we didn't warn you.. we're all waiting till neloth's status as an obvious apprentice-pervert becomes obvious to you

even if he's willingly ignorant of the fact he still thinks of the 'accusations' a lot when he feels like it. and unknowingly begins feeling even more uncomfortable in neloth's presence. heart starts beating faster and everything. neloth could come up to him meters away and talvas would still cover his mouth in realization and be like "i knew it… the DB told me but i didn't wanna believe it …..😦 so you really do like young men … and you're in love with me ..😨" *Neloth wakes up from this fever dream drenched in sweat* < neloth doesn't want (obvi) talvas to react that way at any point because he himself would just get scared so they'd just be staring at each other wide eyed. but talvas jumping into his advances isn't what he wants either (that'll also scare him). neloth is still relying on talvas' politeness to let him do as he pleases. but it is impossible for talvas to let it slide without questioning anything regardless so🤷‍♀️ take your few Ls and move on. neloth just wants talvas to sit on his lap. wants to spoonfeed him soup. he's so romantic. he also wants to(sniper on rooftop blows my head to bits). neloth is actually a pretty touchy feely person when he's feeling Frisky (=deranged about talvas). I'm certain his favorite part of talvas' body is his legs. talvas has beautiful young man skipping leg day legs. so nothing special at all but neloth wants to touch them lol.. let your master wizard squeeze your calves and he might just be occupied enough like a kid playing with a fidget toy to not abuse you verbally for 3 seconds. as i said befoar neloth is unpleasant with his touch because he doesn't know how to be soft + doesn't even want it to necessarily feel very 'rewarding' as to not pamper talvas. petting talvas kinda turns into a nervous habit for himself and an instrument of some sort of Reassurance 4 talvas when he wants him to know he’s not mad, for example. non-vebal confirmation. talvas still finds it weird but thinks it’s a charm point too. neloth wouldn't even be against touching him familiarly in front of others but only in a "older male figure" ways ex. touching his knee or putting his hand at the back of his neck (talvas sees it as some sort of disciplinary tactic though). physical touch that matches neloth's age and is enough for it to be seen as not necessarily romantic / overtly weird. 

there'ssssss no saving talvas after such a powerful person gets his hands on him. any will to leave would leave HIM either out of fear or out of attachment and neloth wouldn't just let him go (Alive at least) since he knows the things he knows. if talvas were to escape i'm a Truther of him not feeling in place and wanting to go back cause it's the stability that he's used to. but tbh if he encounters neloth on accident anywhere he's gonna start running. I was drinking tea while writing this and started choking on it i just nearly died writing this are youhappy. anyways, nelvas is a never-ending abusive relationship that doesn’t even have High highs, all it has is low lows. neloth always mistreats talvas for any reason but is never genuinely kind from the heart or out of remorse. .. hmm……yeah. I forgot to type this back out from my posts tags > talvas might just start viewing neloth as fuck crazy and demented after he Finally notices at least one molecular sign of gay attention from him . like ‘Oh wow Master Neloth obviously doesn’t get any female attention or anything cus he’s a sick fuck why does he have to search for it from me Can varona take the hit for me 🥺 *sees her dead body being dragged by the DB* hmm i guess not well i’ll figure something out i guess’ (he doesn’t) also the dialogue talvas has with varona after he steals neloth’s book trying to conjure some bs up will always be so cute to me he’s so defensive and afraid of neloth finding out. Him trying to decipher neloth’s handwriting is cute TOO ik their 19th century love letters to each other would go crazy and make sense to anyone but each other but i’m not gonna talk about 19th century girl talvas x neloth rn it’s too much . what ever. i think i’m done thank you i should just go back to drawing them as grecian pottery red figures or smthj Fun stats for you 4 getting to the end: times the word ‘abuse’ is used: 6

[bisexuallsokka]

Hi I’m not looking to fuck right now, but my bathroom sink is currently flooding my bathroom I know it’s random, but can I borrow a flathead screwdriver? I don’t know my neighbors and you’re the closest person to me on Grindr. Zuko cringes as soon as he sends the last message. What is he thinking? His bathroom is getting worse by the minute, maybe he should suck it up and— Yeah why not

written for day one of @zukkaweek for the modern au prompt! inspired by this post <3

[mercymaker]

trying to make bg3 work for me today got me like

[littledeadling]

I had a weird dream last night about a picture book @okamiwolven really wanted me to read. It was about a worm skull thing who kept adding more skulls to itself every page & getting scared as it started filling up too much space, a la ‘There’s A Monster at the End of This Book’. (the pages were rly long. To fit more skulls). It looked like this:

[somebluemelodies]

▯▯/▯▯/20▯▯

OFFICIAL FEDERATION LOG

It would appear there has been a compromise in the Federation.

Several important documents regarding Cellbit ▮▮▮▮▮▮, Roier Brown de Luque, and their respective alter-egos have been stolen from the Federation facilitation. It should also be noted that both ▮▮▮▮▮▮ and Brown de Luque have been in the wind since ▯▯/▯▯, and no one has been able to trace their location, including Agent Bluebird.

According to CCTV footage, ▮▮▮▮▮▮ and Brown de Luque were last seen in an elevator at the west end of the facility, presumably heading down towards the basement. However, this is the last-known footage of them we have, as the majority of the cameras in the basement were found to be blocked off by a silky substance similar to that of Brown de Luque's webs.

This can also be backed up by traces of data interference in the keycard logs. It would appear the data cannot be recovered by even our most advanced technicians, but it can be safely assumed that ▮▮▮▮▮▮ used his keycard to enter the archive room that our files have been stolen from.

We believe the effects of both ▮▮▮▮▮▮ and Brown de Luque's procedures have been undone, although the how and why of the undoing is unknown. Dr. ▮▮▮▮▮ believes the documents may have something to do with it, although I have a hard time fully believing just those documents could fully reinstate their memories.

▮▮▮▮▮▮ and Brown de Luque were not separated and monitored as well as they should have been. I believe this to be a catalyst for recent events.

Dr. ▮▮▮▮▮ and Dr. ▮▮▮▮ have placed themselves in charge of searching for ▮▮▮▮▮▮ and Brown de Luque and tracking their whereabouts. I am to be one of their lead assistants in doing so, although I have yet to be informed of what will happen should ▮▮▮▮▮▮ and Brown de Luque reenter Federation custody. This is exclusive information between the Drs, do not request it.

The Drs have informed that they have a plan, however - one that will result in no more future compromises, and will ultimately ensure the Federation's state of perfection.

Should this plan be successful, all traces of Paradox will be completely wiped from public mind and record, and any information regarding this alter-ego will be kept with Dr. ▮▮▮▮ rather than the facility archives. There will be no more backlash from Detective ▮▮▮▮▮▮ or Spider-Man.

As this log is being recorded, Dr. ▮▮▮▮ is discussing with Agent Bluebird the subject of tracking ▮▮▮▮▮▮ and Brown de Luque's location. We believe she will be a crucial element in this search.

Word of this search does not extend past the facility. Answer no public commentary on the whereabouts of Detective ▮▮▮▮▮▮ or Spider-Man if questions begin to arise. Leave it to the Drs and other higher-ups to handle accordingly.

Agent 18 [ WB18 ]

[hailsatanacab]

Damn it, #1 was sniped. Okay okay, I'll pick #2, that's my runner-up, lmao

I was so close to posting your last ask, I'm glad you got this in before I did!!

woof, okay, so I wasn't lying when I said that this is the most self-indulgent fic I could come up with - I was in the mood for some good self-care and unfortunately for my blorbos that means putting someone in the torture machine 😬

(oh no I just opened the doc and it turns out that, while this premise has been rotating in my mind like a rotisserie chicken for the past several months, I haven't actually written anything for it other than a brief outline, that's so disappointing, I'm so sorry)

(this is lowkey what spawned the family dinners post! so I guess that's where my writing for this went 🙄😒)

so in lieu of a snippet, here's a little summary instead:

After an accidental reveal, Jack and Maddie decide that they love their son—but they can’t accept his ghost side. So, they enlist the help of their all-too-eager friend Vlad and sign over Danny’s guardianship on the terms that he takes Danny far away so that the GIW never find him (because while they want to dissect all the ghosts, they just can’t bring themselves to do it to their son). Danny tries his best to persuade his parents to send him to his Uncle Constantine instead, but is forced to agree when things start to get heated. He’s not happy, no one’s happy… except Vlad, really.

But, since this is a post-Future Dan fic, Danny knows a few of the JL's identities - Batman being one of them. Vlad is pretty easily persuaded to move to Gotham with Danny and Danny puts his "befriend the Waynes and somehow use them to get Constantine's number because dear Ancient's he needs to hide somewhere from Vlad and the House seems like the best bet" plan into action!

Things do not go smoothly at all.

[defiledtomb]

WE LIVE. WE DIE. WE LIVE AGAIN

[ow1et]

sorry i haven't been around much !! got pretty sick for a bit and have been helping out with a kids' camp in the afternoons. i hope everything is going well for y'all !! i miss being here but i should be around a more normal amount this weekend and onward <3

[moni-logues]

My sister woke up this morning because Dog 4 was barking

Dog 1 was attacking Dog 3... Like, seriously attacking ...

Dog 1 has been put down but Dog 3 is so not out of the woods yet. They've been transfusing blood but they need him to be more stable on order to x ray him. They suspect a shoulder or neck fracture... The fact that he's even still alive now is surprising tbh: Dog 1 is a huge staffy/lurcher/bull terrier type mix and Dog 3 is a fucking Manchester terrier 💀

Keep your fingers crossed for little dog 3 🤞🏻

[ivanttakethis]

Before Round 10 - Tov’s Log

Tov (?) vs. Minori (?) - ??? Win

————————————————————

Tov thought she had more time.

She thought she had one more round.

One more round to mourn.

One more round to ignore what was coming.

Then she got the call about Round 9’s cancellation.

Ji Woo lost to Khoi in Round 8.

29 - 70

It was the worst score disparity all season.

But somehow, Ji Woo got ahold of a gun and killed the guard that was about to execute him.

He took Ryu with him when he ran off.

That was the least surprising part of the story to Tov. There was no Ji Woo without Ryu, and vice versa.

Because Ryu escaped, Lark won Round 9 automatically. And the producers needed a new round tonight.

Now she was only a few minutes away from being thrusted under the same bright, hot spotlight that Tallis was.

“A fucking gun,” Cassio cursed, fastening the buttons on the back of her dress. “All of this rushing because no one realized they lost a gun?”

Tov wasn’t really paying attention. She was still in her head, replaying her earlier conversation with Himei.

She was surprised to see her friend, not only so soon but also so… different.

Himei’s hair lost its shine and had started to fall out in clumps. The dark bags under her eyes looked worse than the ones under Tov’s, a feat in and of itself. She’d lost a noticeable amount of weight as well.

It had only been a few days. Why had she looked like she hadn’t slept or eaten in a week or more?

Tallis’s death destroyed her. Isolation had only made it worse.

And she was still wearing that damn collar too.

Tov promised Himei that she would win for her, and for Tallis.

If she didn’t, who knows what they would do if Himei lashed out again?

Tov couldn’t let that happen.

“Okay, all done.” Cassio said, sounding pleased. “Face the mirror and tell me what you think.”

She turned to the trifold mirror to look at her reflection.

The floor-length dress was a made of crushed velvet and dyed a deep midnight blue; her favorite color. A matching corset fit snuggly around her waist.

Small diamonds sewn across her chest and on her long sleeves twinkled like stars as they caught the backstage lights.

Tov would look like a swath of the night sky out on stage.

It was beautiful.

She said as much to Cassio.

“Why thank you,” Her guardian smiled, “Not too bad for a last minute fitting.” They muttered the last part.

Cassio ushered Tov off the small podium and toward the left side of the stage where she would enter from.

All of the lights were off, leaving the stage almost entirely in the dark.

“Hold the lights!” They called over their shoulder to the crew.

They rested their hands on her shoulders and leaned down to whisper, “Good luck.”

Tov simply nodded.

She didn’t look back as she made her way to the small blue mark on the floor of the stage.

It was just like in practice. The only differences now were the crowd, the cameras, and the song.

Tov changed her song choice earlier that day, after her talk with Himei.

If she was singing for Tallis, she wanted the song to mean something.

She wanted the song to be about love.

Tov gently grasped the glass microphone stand in her left hand and the base of the microphone itself in her right.

Moonlight spilled across the stage.

Tov hadn’t so much as glanced at the sky since Round 7. But it was hard not to be drawn to look now.

It was her personal siren song.

Slowly, Tov raised her head.

A sea of stars unfolded above her, stretching out across the deep black yawn of space.

She found the North Star with ease and instinctively followed it eastward, until her gaze fell upon a familiar order of stars. Tallis’s constellation…

It looked brighter tonight.

The sight knocked all of the air out of Tov’s lungs.

Is this why you wanted them to keep the lights off, Cassio? Is this what you wanted me to see?

Tears sprung to her eyes, but she quickly blinked them away.

She needed to focus.

She needed to win.

The music started soft and slow.

Soon the lights would come on, Minori would join her, and the fight for their lives would truly begin.

But for the moment, it was just Tov, the music, and the constellation of the boy who meant the world to her.

Even if he wasn’t with her anymore.

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and began to sing about a falling star…

————————————————————

*slides this over to you guys several days late* Hey everyone 😁

In case you were wondering what prompted Tov to change her Round 10 song, it was because of what she promised Himei in this log (thank you to @lookatmysillies for unknowingly setting this up for me perfectly).

You can read my lyrical analysis of her new Round 10 song Cosmic Love by Florence + The Machine and how to relates to Tov’s story here.

Also, Cassio had the crew hold the stage lights on purpose so Tov could look at the stars before the round started.

They know Tov was absolutely gutted by Tallis’s death and has withdrawn from pretty much everything.

They also know she hasn’t been stargazing like she usually does and that’s a huge red flag to them, so they decide to try doing something about it. They hope her seeing the stars again will help Tov start to heal.

A log for after Round 10 is currently in the works. Stay tuned!

Himei and Tallis belong to @lookatmysillies.

Minori belongs to @minori-dash.

Ji Woo and Ryu belong to @starry-skiez.

Khoi belongs to @junebluues.

Lark belongs to @kamersona.