#THEY ARE SO NICEYS TO ME….. people are so kind to me I don’t know what to sometimes … AUGHHHHH GRABS MY HEAD …..

[cupiidzbow]

im literally gonna cry so bad my friend modeled a lil monkie freddie as a gift for me …… ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️ they are the sweetest ever I’m going to sniffle and sob…….. monkey is real and irl ………….

[aroace-poly-show]

hellloooooo lovely meowtual may you please talk about hw tsukasa?!?!? as per ur request

hehehehhe. you guys are so so niceys to me btw. cries

awawawa so tsukasa tenma. world future star. he isn’t too different from canon tbh. he’s still loud as always, got that high ego, got those memory issues and everything. his past isn’t much different from canon either. his goal to be a star still came from wanting to make people smile like shows made saki smile, but he forgets that, etc etc you get how it goes. but yknow. n25 swap. he isn’t doing great.

he tends to set high standards for himself, and he’s been trying really hard to get into the acting scene, but it hasn’t been going well. the constant failures have slowly but surely been weighing on him. he’s got a lot of frustration building up, and all that has definitely hit him in the self esteem department *just a tad*, but he does not acknowledge that! cause of course he doesn’t. he’s tsukasa tenma, he’s going to be a star! a star like him doesn’t have time to worry about stuff like that. all he needs to do is keep pushing forward, keep trying harder and harder, just don’t think about the past and all the constant setbacks and he’ll be fine! probably. he has to be fine after all. what kind of a star would he be if he wasn’t?

saki and toya do notice smth’s up with him, saki especially, but tsukasa being tsukasa he lies to them, both intentionally and unintentionally. by that i mean like. like he genuinely Does Not Know he’s not fine. he is just avoiding thinking about his own negative feelings too much, so he just does not fucking realize. when he’s confronted with the idea that he might not actually be perfectly fine, he’s genuinely confused. so when he’s asked if he’s okay, he says yes, because he’s sure he is. and sure sometimes he gets a little down, and he does intentionally lie to them those times, but its simply nothing his siblings need to worry about, so there’s no point in telling them! they don’t need to know, cause he’ll be okay! he can deal with it on his own, he *has* to deal with it on his own, he’ll (repress it) get over it soon enough! no need to worry them :)

like i mentioned, tsukasa’s also the only one still actively doing theater at the time of the main story. he loves it, he’s dedicated to it, he hasn’t given up on it yet. and he gets to be the one to get hw back into it. yayayayay. i like to think hw is very fond of him, like rui and nene were w/ emu. here’s another one of their group who holds so much passion for theater and loves it, and who hasn’t given up on it. they believe in him. its like living vicariously through him. yk. they might not know each other too well yet, but they hope it goes well for him.

and like idk but the thing about tsukasa and theater is that its So important to him, he’s devoted so much of his life to it, he can’t see himself doing anything else. he doesn’t have a driving motivation for it, he can’t remember it, but all he’s sure of is that he has to reach this goal. so like. when faced with the idea that maybe he *isn’t* good enough to become a star like he wants to, its terrifying to him. so he just. doesn’t think about that. every failed audition, every rejection, every setback is a reminder of that though. main story gets him to his last straw. which is fun!

again. main story ideas are giving me trouble. and i’m still figuring stuff out. so not elaborating too much on what happens. but after a series of events tsukasa remembers and gets the rest of hw on board w/ trying to do shows again. cause like, again they don’t know each other that well but tsukasa does care about them, he wants to make people smile and his friends are included in that. he wants them to enjoy shows again. he wants his friends happy. and w/ enough persuasion hw joins him and yayy they become a theater troupe. yippee :3 

i might have more thoughts to add later. idk. i’d add a fun facts section but i already mentioned everything i had for him in past posts jdhfgdfjkgl

[captainclickycat]

I notice there’s still this assumption going round sometimes that people must only be interested in the things they post about on tumblr, or that you can find out everything important about a person and their interests just by looking at their tumblr posts. So you end up with people being Very Concerned that there are people who only enjoy a very specific type of fanfiction and aren’t broadening their horizons, when in actuality plenty of those people are going about their lives reading a pretty broad range of books and watching films and shows and engaging with all kinds of things, but the specific type of fanfiction is what they come to tumblr for.

Not that there aren’t people who will openly admit that they only read fanfiction or cutesy YA romance (and, you know, not my problem, you do you) but it’s definitely possible to get a very warped perception of what someone is up to if you use tumblr as your only reference point for that.

Like, I tend to avoid fanfiction with themes that I know I’d find discomfiting or disturbing or too sad or overly challenging or generally anything that ends unhappily. That doesn’t mean I don’t like dark disturbing media in general (I actually really do) just that it’s not something I look to fanfiction specifically for. For me personally, fanfiction comes under the heading of “fun pleasant story with characters you like that always ends happily and makes you go warm inside.” Literary comfort food, if you like. I don’t feel the need to pick out stuff that will challenge me because I’ve got other media for that. But if you went by my fic tastes alone you’d probably come to the conclusion that I have pretty simplistic, nicey-nice romantic and unchallenging tastes in reading matter. Meanwhile I’m out here feeling mildly disappointed because the horror film I just watched was too kind to its characters and the romantic subplot messed with the pacing.

[daisychainsandbowties]

You’re one of my favorite blogs. I read your tags. And I don’t know if you know this but you do have a tendency to Go Off (affectionate) in the tags. Of course I picked up on your love of sushi. My favorite is usually anything tempura fried. Gotta get that Crunch. I think on the surface caterpillar rolls are the most trans coded based on name alone. Something something metamorphosis.

😭niceys to me 😭😭 i’m so bad at taking compliments bc i feel like the most appropriate response is to burst into confetti and/or viscera and i haven’t found a way of doing that yet so, yeah i am very happy in a slightly speechless 💖💖💖💖💖 love heart spam kind of way

i 🤔 might have noticed that i tend to Go Off in the tags but !! it’s my favourite feature of this website it’s like a secret whisper space! kind of…the heckling from the audience for people who are not brave and i mean… i love reading tags too and i love leaving a little row of hearts and kisses 💖😘💖😘 on things people create. i do rather forget that anyone besides OP can read my tags though 😂😂

OH! caterpillar rolls i have not tried 👀 i am a big sushi fan but there really are not many sushi places where i live so i also spend a lot of time just staring enviously at pictures on the internet. (i also just 🥰 have terrible taste. like really bad gjdhfjdj) you’re so right though!! caterpillar rolls look cool and they also remind me of what my parents call my “Austim Birthday Cake.”

because this is the only cake in the world that i like so when i was a kid my parents used to absolutely lose the plot trying to secure one for my birthday. anything else i would look at and go 🙄 ‘uhm. this isn’t a caterpillar.’ it is actually the best cake in the world it’s chocolate swiss roll with a hard chocolate coating and knockoff chocolates on top and a GIANT face made of fondant 🥳 truly caterpillar things are the MOST

[shatterstar]

I love my friends so much this is the. Second time I’ve had the realization that people actually know me and love me the first being like junior year of undergrad. but it’s like. I’m scared. people will text me things that make it clear they really want to be around me and I feel like some kind of prey animal. it’s like. I need people to be really niceys to me but not too niceys I don’t know what to do with all that love

[lesbiancolumbo]

that post the other day comparing barton keyes to columbo is so right actually because the thing about columbo is that he’s not actually dumb or bumbling he’s actually quite smart. he’s smart in the same way keyes and walter neff are. the difference between keyes and walter is that they’re both so fucking smart and for walter this manifests in i’m so much smarter than everyone else and i’m going to prove it by gaming the system. for keyes this manifests in him knowing more than most people and using that to make sure the system is fair, that other people don’t game it for their own selfish reasons. that being said….. one of the things i always love about columbo is the sense of camaraderie between lieutenant firstname columbo and the killers he investigates. some of this is obviously columbo being nicey nicey to get access to them, but there’s also some things you just can’t fake. in try and catch me he mentions he even likes some of the killers he meets, likes and respects them. i think it’s the same respect that keyes and walter have…. the only kind of respect you could have for someone who you know you’re perhaps one hop step and a jump away from becoming.

[alisheaburgess]

Having a Grand Cross and Finding Balance - My Cardinal Grand Cross

So for a reference, I have a Cardinal Grand Cross with my Mercury in Libra (at my Asc), Neptune and Uranus in Capricorn (at my IC), Mars in Cancer (at my MC), and my Moon in Aries (on my Desc) and this is JUST MY EXPERIENCE with these placements!

Warning...this gets complicated...that's kinda the whole point I think... I am going to give examples because there really isn't much on Grand Crosses (at least that I could find).

If your have any of these placements/aspects keep in mind that these are just very basic ways these planets interact. There is so much more to learn about each planet and how it interacts with the others.

Having a Grand Cross means that you have two sets of planets that are opposing that are squared to each other (it will look like a big X inside a square on your birth chart). It means that the planets are in signs that behave so differently that it causes conflicting pulls...in 4 different directions.

Example: My Aries Moon would decide to be independent and stick up for myself but then my Libra Mercury goes "oh no, that's ok. Let's just do what you want to do." My Aries Moon would then push people away when I needed independence, no nicey nice. Grrrrrr

It's taken a long time and quite a bit of work to find even a little balance with it. I had to work on each planet individually and then their relationships with each other. I started with the Oppositions.

Example:

Working on my Libra Mercury by learning that my opinion and desires are valid and needed! And then with my Aries Moon learning that I need lighthearted competition to let out some of that energy cause...oh my, am I a handful (having an Aries Moon is said to be like having 2 Mars'...but my actual Mars is in Cancer...which is like not having a Mars at all so it's a bit backward). But also with Aries Moon learning that my feelings aren't the only feelings to consider. So then when I brought them together, I was able to communicate that I needed to be able to have freedom to make my own decisions and be my own person without going cranky little brat on people.

With Mars in Cancer I had to learn to go for what I wanted! Instead of being a scaredy cat. Not going after my dreams went hand in hand with putting myself into the not having freedom and and pushing people away spiral. With the two Outer Planet Uranus and Neptune I had to learn that not everything was as it seemed...and sometimes change is inevitable and needed. When bringing them together, it meant that I had to move forward even when I didn't fully feel comfortable (because that never really happened anyway) and that would help me understand the changes and make me more comfortable in the end.

Then I would try to work on Mars in with my Mercury and Moon (as these are my Inner Planets and the other two are Outer Planets)... it meant doing the things I wanted to do without being "babied" or needing anyone else's approval. While also allowing the right kind of help instead of trying to do it all myself. Follow where my heart was leading me. I had a tendency to need to know EVERYTHING about a situation before moving forward (made worse by several placements in my chart).

With Neptune...this one didn't so much have it's own thing but have really bad effects on the other planets in the Cross. I'll just share how it effected my Moon. I had to learn that it was far too easy for me to forget that someone had hurt me...to the point that they could keep doing the same thing over and over and I wouldn't remember. I also had to learn that my perception of people was based on what they could be, not what they are right now. This got a lot better when I started journaling. I would wright about things that happened and when I went back I would see how many times they did the same thing and how often it was and how malicious they really were being. I started writing down how they acted afterwards how they would purposely change their behavior so that it was easier to forget what had happened.

With Uranus I had to learn that I NEEDED change in these areas. And if I didn't allow change to happen...well it would anyway. So I try to not keep myself cooped up in any way (if possible). Because as soon as I have a restriction I immediately try to fight it.

And it is a spiral from here on out because each of the planets in the Cross effect all the others in what feels like the most chaotic story ever unwinding. I don't' think it actually ends but the more I work on balancing each planet's energy and then incorporating it into the mix the better it gets. I no longer have the same issues I struggled with for so many years but I am finding others that I should I work on. It's a constant balancing game. If I stop working on it...I find that I slip back into a pattern. It always gets easier to come out of it and get back on track each time though. None of this happened over night...it has been over a year of studying and working on it now and I can for sure see a difference where I had just about lost hope before I found Astrology.

If you have a Grand Cross PLEASE SHARE your experience!!! :)

[hoenursey]

NurseyChow prompt: comic 4.08

i can’t believe you made me look up what fucking comic that was, sending me this like i know shit lol

When Chowder comes home from class, there’s an ungodly stomping noise coming from the staircase, and the sound of someone kicking a cardboard box across the floor. The door shuts behind him, and Ford sticks her head out of the kitchen, smiling apologetically.

“Dex’s decided he’s tired of living with Nursey,” she said in lieu of a greeting, and Chris closes his eyes, fingers coming to the bridge of his nose tightly.

“Jesus Christ,” he mumbles, and joins her in the kitchen, where they’re talking about class of ‘16. Apparently, they’ve moved in together, and now that Dex has exploded, Chowder is strongly considering asking if he can move in with them. He misses Lardo.

Dex moving out takes the better part of the afternoon. In the evening, he stays locked in the basement, hammering and cutting and whatever else people who know how tools work do with them. It’s loud, and more than a little annoying, but no one wants to go downstairs and tell him to stop. Besides, it won’t work.

That’s the first time anyone sees Nursey.

Instantly, he knows something is wrong.

For one, he’s got on basketball shorts in October, which everyone knows he’s morally opposed to. He’s ranted about it several times; he could practically write a thesis on it.

Secondly, his eyes are bloodshot.

“Hey,” he says hoarsely, and Chris’ alarm skyrockets.

A chorus of greetings sounds, all some degree of concerned.

Nursey clears his throat. “Uh, i’m going to Annie’s,” he says, trying for normal. He almost accomplishes it. “If anyone wants anything, just text me. My treat.”

“Do you want someone to go with you?” Ford asks anxiously, before anyone can stop her, and Chris manages to kick the foot of her chair in time for her to blurt out, “Uh, to help you carry all those drinks, y’know?”

Nursey smiles wanly. He looks drawn. “Nah, Nicey, i’m good. I’ll see you later, guys.”

Scattered goodbyes go off, and he disappears out the door with hardly a sound.

Bitty turns immediately to Chowder.

“Would you mind--”

“I’m already texting him,” he says, and Bitty smiles worriedly, stacking another few cookies on his plate.

[ text: hot nurse ] hey, would you grab me a jasmine tea? i forgot to buy some at the grocery store !

He watches their chat-- Nursey doesn’t respond, but he does like the message. Satisfied, he taps out a “thanks <3″ and leaves Nursey alone for now.

It’s nearly an hour before Nursey comes back. He knocks briefly on Chris’ door, and he calls cheerfully for him to come in.

“Come on in, close the door! You can go through the bathroom later, I don’t wanna walk all the way over to close the door.”

Nursey nods, silent. Without so much as a greeting, he brings over the drink, mumbling, “here,” and handing it off.

Chris takes it one-handedly-- with the other, he catches Nursey’s wrist, holding him in place and peering up at him.

He looks a little better-- not much, mind-- but his eyes aren’t so red, and he makes eye contact for a few seconds.

“How are you? Really,” he asks evenly. Nursey laughs. There’s very little humor in it.

“I’ll be fine,” he says. “Just need some time, y’know.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

Nursey snaps. “Fine, I feel like shit, is that what you wanted? You wanna know so fucking bad? Did you even want a drink, Chowder, or what? Wanna fucking throw it at me? Did Dex want this fucking drink, and he just didn’t wanna say anything? What?!”

Chris waits until Nursey tires himself out, looking angry and heartbroken, and it hurts him to stay quiet like this, to let Nursey say the negative stuff that festers inside of himself, but he knows intrinsically that the other boy needs it.

Finally, Nursey’s rant ends, and instantly, he looks ashamed of himself, clenching up his jaw and looking away.

“Sorry,” he whispers. “I don’t... I didn’t mean to... y’know. Sorry.”

“Do you wanna sleep here tonight?”

He looks back to him. “Huh?”

“Do you wanna sleep here, with me? I just... I thought... I mean, it’s better than sleeping alone, right?” Chris puts on a brave smile, like his heart isn’t thumping, like it isn’t taking everything in him not to tremble at the sight of his teammate like this.

Nursey-- no, Derek, looks... lost. Like the kid they all kind of are, dressed up in grownup’s shoes.

“Dee?” he murmurs, hesitant, and Derek breaks, swallowing tightly; all at once, he nods, the green of his eyes warbling with unshed tears.

Hastily, Chris rises to hold him, and Derek’s weight sags against him the second he envelops him in his hold. He shudders, once, twice, lets out a muffled sob, and Chris squeezes him, presses him to his chest as Derek cries.

It takes time for Chris to get Derek into bed, but he does it, whispering gentle platitudes into his dark curls. Derek drops onto the mattress clumsily, and Chris kneels in front of him, squeezing his hands with gentle pressure. “Let’s get ready for bed,” he prompts, and his friend nods, and goes slowly to his clothing to undress.

Chris strips in record time, finding something for Derek amongst his own clothes. He’s a little bigger, a little more muscled, but he’s always been lean, and Chris himself wears baggy clothes sometimes. A pair of older shorts and a Sharks tee, and Derek is sitting at the edge of his bed, arms around himself tightly.

Chowder lifts the blankets on his side. “C’mon, babe,” he says, coaxing, a hand cupping his elbow. It isn’t until Derek is tucked into his side that Chris even notices the endearment, too caught up in taking care of the boy beside him.

Well, there’s no time for that. If Derek hadn’t noticed, it wasn’t important. He would worry about that... some other time. Sometime appropriate.

“Is this okay?”

Derek tenses; immediately, Chris pulls his arm from around his waist-- or tries to, anyways, but Derek’s hand catches his wrist, pulling him back. His grip is iron.

“Don’t,” he mumbles into Chris’ neck. “Please.”

Chris goes soft, tucks Derek into his arms and holds him while he shakes, while the hot tears drop wetly onto his own warm skin and Derek’s long fingers twist in the fabric of Chris’ tee.

“C?” Nursey rasps, after what feels like hours, and Chris looks down at him, startling.

Oh god, he even looks beautiful when he cries.

It was true: the red rimming his eyes made the green of his irises stand out, framed by tears darkening and crystallizing on his long lashes. Blood had rushed to his cheeks, flushing them, as well as his lips, giving them a reddened, kiss-swollen appearance. Chris’ own face goes hot; Derek bites his bottom lip and he can’t bear to draw his eyes away from it.

“Yeah?”

“...can you kiss me?”

Chris inhales sharply. “We shouldn’t--”

“I know.”

“You--”

Derek surges up and seals their mouths together. Every protest-- token and legitimate-- dies on his lips and is swiped away by Derek’s tongue. 

Every atom of him feels like it’s on fire. His own tongue curls around the expanse of Derek’s mouth, swallowing the hot gasp that pours from it-- Derek’s fingers tighten, fisting the fabric in his grasp near-desperately. His free hand sneaks into Chris’ jet black hair, folding silkily through the pin-straight strands and then, as Chris responds with a groan, catching his lip between his teeth, his fingers tighten, deliciously.

Before he knows it, Chris is half on top of Derek, pressing him into the bed with their lips melded together. By the time he realizes what he’s doing, he’s shoving a knee between Derek’s thighs and dragging him close by the waist.

Fuck.

Chowder pulls away with a curse. Derek’s eyes fly open, half a moan tearing out of his throat-- the pupils are blown black, skin wrought with an impassioned rush of blood. 

“I’m sorry,” Chris blurts out. “I’m sorry, Dee, but we- I- no. Not now, not-- not like this, okay? Not, like, never! But just... just not now. Not when you’re hurting like this.”

Derek swallows. “Right,” he says, suddenly quiet. “Sorry, you.. you probably want me to go.”

“No!”

Derek freezes. Chris gulps nervously, and then sits back on his calves, pulling Derek with him.

“Stay. Please.”

He hesitates. “I...”

“Derek.”

He bites his lip; quietly, after a few minutes, Derek nods. Chris breathes a sigh of relief.

“Thank you. C’mon, let’s sleep,” he says gratefully, and Nursey nods again, shifting to allow Chowder space on the bed. It takes time, but after a few moments of awkward shuffling, he pulls Nursey into his chest, fed up with discomfort and stiltedness. Nursey settles into it immediately, taking sharp little breaths that calm when he unconsciously syncs them up to Chris’.

Derek is asleep in minutes. Chris, spooned up behind him, follows just after between one breath and the next.

In the morning, when Chris wakes, he’s alone. Derek is gone. He’s clutching a pillow-- and drooled on it a little, which, embarrassing, he hopes he didn’t drool on Nursey-- and when he sits up, he sees a notebook at the end of the bed. 

It’s nothing to reach for it, so he does, rubbing sleep from his eyes. It doesn’t say much, but it’s clearly from Nursey.

Thanks. -DMN

[certifiedskywalker]

Academic Misgivings (Part Three) - Peter Parker

You and Peter Parker aren’t friends, but you’re not entirely enemies either. You don’t like him but he always tries to be nice to you. He has everything you’ve ever wanted and you’ll do anything to show him that you can make it on your own. But can you?

PART ONE / PART TWO

After a night of cheering, dining, and celebrating, the wake-up-call at seven in the morning was horrendous. Nails on a chalkboard would have been a more pleasant waking sound. The only thing that coaxed you out from under the covers was the promise of some coffee from the machine in the dining hall and the sunshine that peeked through the window. So you donned your pea colored sweatshirt over your t-shirt and moosied down to the lobby while MJ still tossed around in her bed.

It seemed that the rest of the team was still rolling off along the waves of victory as each table filled with Midtown students were awashed with chatter. Even Peter, as quiet as he was, was animatedly talking with the brightest smile on his features. The sight turned your legs to noodles and drove your to pry your eyes away as wrenched yourself in the direction of the nearest coffee pot. Which, with your luck, was empty. 

You cursed under your breath and sighed until the heaviness in your shoulders fades. “This is perfect, perfect.”

“You drink coffee?” You neck nearly cracked with the speed in which you turned to meet Peter’s eyes. There was a tender smile playing on his lips, the kind that stirrs bees in the stomach rather than butterflies.

“Not usually,” you lied, “just need a pick me up.” Peter nodded and grabbed an apple from a nearby basket.

“Yesterday was cool,” he said and, despite his neutral tone, you were filled with a prickling sense of anger. Peter was horribly chipper and his friendly expression made you sick. Envy crawled up your spine, whispered in your ear that it should have been you to bring home the win. So you pushed down any kindness that threatened to bubble over.

“Yeah it was,” you snapped, “I bet it was, for you especially, basking in everyone’s praise.” You glanced at Peter and saw a befuddled puppy instead. Dark eyes were squinted in confusion under furrowed brows. The expression amused you as you walked over to an empty table to mope. 

From your new look-out, you watched as a still-muddled Peter strode back over to his friends, the set now complete with MJ’s appearance in the dining hall. 

“What’s up losers?” Her signature greeting met your ears as she pulled out a chair beside Ned. You saw Peter opened his mouth to speak but Ned quickly spoke before him.

“We were talking about all the places we want to visit. Like the Art Institute? They have a fantastic Egyptian art collection and then the planetarium! There’s so much to do!” “You know we’re only here for the day right?” MJ asked and you heard Peter chuckle. You bit at the inside of your cheek, a habit you would have to break, to quell the jealousy swelling inside your chest. “Well I want to go to H. H. Holmes’ Murder Castle.”

Silence filled the table and, even with the distance, you could make out the worried expression Peter wore on his features. His slightly panicked eyes and the way he squirmed in his seat  made you smile. It was because you liked to see him nervous, you thought to yourself, it’s not because he’s cute.

“I-I…” Peter began, but MJ continued on.

“It burned down after he was hung in 1896, but I bet you can still like, feel it there.”

“What’s it?” Peter questioned and you felt compelled to walk over to their table, join in on their chatter. Everything Peter touched everyone he spoke to, seemed to be at ease. For once in your life you wanted to feel that same serenity. Sadly, it seemed you only attracted people that set you on edge.

“Morin' Y/N! You ready to see the sights!?” Flash plopped down in the empty seat as your side, holding his phone up to your face. Instinctually, you lifted your hand and pushed his phone to the side. “Hey! I was live streaming!”

“You’re going to get in trouble for that one day,” you grumbled before you returned your attention back to Peter’s table. He was red in the face with laughter as Ned was telling some story. MJ seemed amused but, as always, her face read as indifferent.

“Even his laugh is annoying,” Flash groaned beside you, “especially when he’s around...what’s her name? Mary?”

“Michelle,” you corrected, eyes still glued to the trio at the table a few paces away. 

“Ah yes,” Flash sighed, “that still doesn’t change how ‘quirky’ she tries to be. It’s like they were made to be together.”

“What?” Flash’s words pulled your attention away like the snapping of a twig in a silent forest. “What do you mean?”

“The dickwad and the alien,” Flash explained, but his clarification only served to confuse you further. “Peter and that Michelle, they’re flaky and perfect for each other.”

“You think so?” You gazed back over at their table and your breath caught when you saw MJ smiling. Her full lips were upturned to the point where there were crinkles by her eyes. She never smiles, at least not like that. 

“Y/N, I know so,” Flash droned on, “my mom had been married four times with the most expensive wedding your little mind could dream of and she never has looked at any of them like that.” He points towards Peter who, like MJ, was grinning. You felt your heart shatter, split like the Earth’s crust during a quake. All of the signs had been there and yet you had been blind to them.

MJ hadn’t asked you about liking Peter because she was curious; she wanted to keep you away from him. She wanted to know her competition just like you with Peter; but you weren’t her competition, you thought bitterly. Peter had even been texting her on the bus on the way to Chicago. You clenched your jaw as you recounted every instance you could remember. Leave it to Peter Parker to make you feel dumb. Flames of embarrassment and rage licked at your cheeks turning them red.

“Flash,” you began, meeting the dark-haired boy’s eyes, “after this, the trip and everything, I was wondering if you-”

“Oh, Y/N, please. I thought you would never ask.”

“Okay, so what’s the plan for dealing with-”

“Of course I’ll go out on a date with you.” 

“What?! No! I was,” you lower your voice, “I was talking about Peter.”

“You want to date Parker?” Flash asked, much too loudly for your liking. Your eyes widened with worried fury as you shook your head wildly.

No! No! I was talking about your offer. To,” you whispered then, “to get him off the team.” Flash’s eyes gleam with recognition as he exclaims in realization. 

“Okay, I got you now. Yeah, we can do that.” You nodded and kept staring at him as you waited for him to detail out the plan. Flash only looked back at you, clearly puzzled about what you were expecting. You cocked your head and leaned closer to him.

“So...the plan?”  

“Oh! Yeah, okay so I was thinking that we could make him late to our practices and stuff. I know some people that could help.” You quirked a brow at him, slightly concerned as to the people Flash ‘knew’. “And then one of us could befriend him, get access to his phone and delete the practice schedule from the school calendar. And, just for good measure, delete the group chat app Mr. Harrington assigned to the team.”

“That’s actually a somewhat solid plan,” you replied, keeping your voice low. People still flitted about the dining hall, a majority of which were your classmates. 

“I know,” Flash sighed, leaning back in the rickety wooden chair, “I’m a goddamn genius. No need to thank me.” You had to cut short an audible groan that threatened to spill past your lips. All you had to do was work with Flash until Peter was gone, out of your sight and out of your mind forever. You could do that.

“So you want to befriend him and do the phone thing?” You asked as you spared a glance over at Peter’s table once more. He stilled smiled, even as he turned his head and looked in your direction. The moment his eyes saw Flash sitting at your side, he pulled his eyes away. Flash laughed obnoxiously loud and you glared at him.

“No way! I would never associate my fine self with him! You can do the grunt work.” Your glare only intensified at his words.

“Just because I’m a woman you think you can give me a role and I’ll just have to be happy with it?” The sexism card was the easiest to pull, and true when it came to Flash. It was the perfect cover for the fact you really didn’t want to become friends with Peter, even if it was fake. You just didn’t want to be near him, you wanted to be done with him.

“N-No,” Flash stammered, visibly shaken by your accusation. “I just think it would be strange ya know, if I tried to be all nicey-nice with him after everything.”

“I’m in the same boat,” you fire back in an angry whisper. Flash shook his head at that.

“You defend him, sometimes. Like when we went to the pizza place. You’re friendly to him sometimes.You’d have an easier in.” You bit the inside of your cheek, wondering if you did it this much before the trip. Flash shifted in his seat before adding, “it’d be more believable.”

“I just…” you trailed off, eyes skirted over to Peter again. A soft smile played on his lips, the kind one he would give you as you passed him by in the halls at school. Peter Parker had been nothing but kind to you; and it was infuriating. He had everything you had ever wanted: a spot on the A team, an internship at a prestigious science-oriented company, and friends. If suffering a spot longer met you could have at least some of that, you’d do it. “Fine.”

“You mean, ‘fine’ as in you’ll do it?” Flash asked eagerly, dark brown eyes as wide as snow globes. 

“Yes,” you snapped, “now, how about-”

“Team? Is everyone down here?” Mr. Harrington’s voice interrupted your speech and drew your eyes to him. A clipboard was held tightly in his hands and you sighed. Ms. Lauren quickly did and head count and turned to Mr. Harrington. 

“They’re all here, Roger.”

“Great! Alright, I’ve taken the liberty of splitting you all into groups so we can see all of the sights that Chicago had to offer. Ms. Lauren will be taking one group that will start at Willis Tower. I will take the other to Millennium Park. We’ll meet for lunch then switch. Afterwards, we’ll meet at the Art Institute. Sound like a plan?”

The dragging plan was met with a chorus of groans and small voices that echoed a barely collective ‘yeah’. In the brief pause, you snuck a glance at Peter. His brown eyes met your gaze and you felt the heat that burned at your cheeks. 

“So the group coming with me to the park has Michelle, Ned, Betty, Abe, Sally, and Peter. Ms. Lauren will be taking Flash, Cindy, Charles, Y/N, and Brad to Willis Tower.”

“See,” Flash whispered and pulled lightly on your sleeve to get your attention, “the stupid that plays together stays together.” He tipped his head in the direction of Peter, MJ, and Ned who were happily chatting about Millennium Park. Although Flash hinted that it was the trio he was talking about, you couldn’t help but feel maybe it was you.

“Okay kiddos, who’s ready for the Tower!?” Ms. Lauren’s sing-song tone, only made your urge to chase after the bus as it drove away all the more insatiable. You imagined Peter laughing, as he most likely was, with Ned and MJ while they walked through Millennium Park. The phantom image made you feel cheated, scorned. 

It was hard to retain such a feeling as you dodged businessmen and women as Ms. Lauren lead the group down the block to the entrance of Willis Tower. Since you lived in New York City, you were used to building scraping the sky; but something about Willis Tower set you on edge. The paneling was that of dark obsidian and you half expected a winged demon to fly out from it’s doors, breathing fire and throwing brimstone. Fearfully, your eyes scanned up the height of the skyscraper until a bulky outcropping came into view.

“That’s the glass balcony we’re going to stand on,” Flash explained as he came up behind you. “It’s like an elevator.”

You cocked your head to the side, staring at Flash in confusion. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“As long as you don’t jump in it, you’ll be fine,” he teased. Flash clapped a hand on your shoulder. “C’mon! The view at the top is perfect for getting viewers!”

You figured that he was referencing a live stream, which, judging by the way he energetically spoke to his phone camera. Flash Thompson’s need for attention never ceased to appall you. His behavior wasn’t like yours, as you always felt the need to justify it. You simply wanted what you knew you deserved while Flash strived for something he was far too rude to ever achieve. As the group ascended the spiraling steps, you silently prayed that you wouldn’t end up like Flash. 

A few signs listing what could be done on the glass balcony and what, under any circumstances, should not be done served little in entertainment. Ms. Lauren would read along the plaques on the wall that detailed the tower’s construction and history. Nothing said peaked your interest. What did catch your attention was the final landing before the balcony. 

“This better be worth the hour wait,” Flash grumbled as he fiddled with his phone. He had lost reception a few floors down. Since then, he had only got crabby and red in the face. 

“Y-Yeah,” you agreed as you took a few shaky steps up the last flight of stairs. Had you ever been this high up in a building before? What floor was this? Ms. Lauren had said it earlier bt you had been too lost in thought to care. Why was Peter all your thought about now? How was it possible to have so many questions without answers? It was statistically impossible.

Soon, as you mounted the last step, statistics were thrown out the window. A security guard stopped you before you could walk any closer to the glass oning. Even from where you stood, you could see the tops of other buildings and clouds that hung lower than the rest. You were up high. Dangerously high.

“Only a few people at a time please,” the guard bellowed. He moved his arm, letting you, Flash, and Cindy pass through.

“Meet in the gift shop if we get separated!” Ms. Lauren’s directions fell on deaf ears as you, timidly, stepped on the clear surface of the balcony with your own phone clutched tightly in your hands.

The ground rushed up at you, building-roof teeth barred at it snapped at you in vertigo. Your head spun with dread and you leaned forwards to balance yourself against the similar clear wall that gave you a calming view of Lake Michigan. Only the waves looked more like daggers from that high up. Dark clouds litter the horizon and made the shadows dancing in your mind all the more manipulative of your depth perception. 

“Y/N?” You couldn’t tell who had spoken to you as your full attention was glued on the world below you. Cars more like ladybugs and bees, raced along pavement paths going everywhere while you, as a watchful raven, studied their little insect bodies as they scurried away. “Y/N, are you alright?”

You could almost taste the clouds, as light as angel food cake as you felt as if you floated above reality. The darker storm clouds that rolled in gave a sharp crack of thunder, followed by distant lighting as you blinked. A scream parted through your haze, one of pure fear. Despite the sound, you’re still whirling.

“Y/N!”

You see the long-bodied bus as it stops beside the tower. If the cars were bugs your classmates must be atoms. So small, barely even there until your peered closer, pressed your forehead against the glass. You swore you saw Peter the moment another crack of sharp lightning sounded as he rushed into the building. Another scream.

“Y/N!!”

A new crack of thunder, only this time you realize the storm clouds are over the lake and the lightning was only the white of your eyes as you blinked fear from them. The glass-plastic below you was now decorated in a spider web like pattern. You had only a second to admire it when you fell through the hole it had created. 

Before the free-fall took you, your fingers find the metal edge that connected two panels of glass together. Broken shards pierced the meat of your palm and you cried out. Your phone slipped from your grasp and fell down, down, down until you couldn’t make out it’s shape anymore. With both hands now freed, your grip tightened on the metal edge as you cried out for help. Screams filled your ears and the sounds of guards talking in their walkie-talkies did little to give you solace. The material you clung to creaked and dread pooled in your stomach. 

The wind didn’t help either. Playfully it tugged at your legs, pulled you this way and that until your hands shook with weakness. Your fingers began to slip as your mind grew fuzzy. You screamed to keep yourself conscious, but the effort seems to steal more air from your lungs. The blood smeared in your hand loosened your hold and then, you were falling.

Cold. A chilled sensation tickled along your skin as you raced downwards. You closed your eyes, hoping that, by some magic, it would dull the inevitable impact. Images of your life raced by but not the memories. All of the ‘could have beens’ and ‘what ifs’ filled your head as the ground came closer and closer. You didn’t dare open your eyes and then….

Warm. The wind still races by, chilled your skin but you were warm. Gravity’s forces seemed to be called back because the fall didn’t feel as great. Slowly, as if scared it was some cruel trick and you were still headed towards a swift death, you opened your eyes. Instead of vertically, you cut through the wind horizontally. You turned your head and screamed as two large, white eyes met yours.

“Hey! Hey! You’re alright, I gotcha!” You saw the mouth of the man move beneath the red fabric of his mask and you were instantly put at relative ease.

“You’re Spiderman!”

“I am!”

“Holy shi-”

“Hold on!” He swung quickly from building to building, gradually he lowered you both to the ground. Even when he feet hit the Earth, you clung tightly to him. 

“You’re okay now.”

You didn’t respond, not even as you untangled yourself from the man that had saved your life. When you stepped back, you realized Spiderman looked more like a boy. He was more thin than you had expected, but you weren’t in the right head-space to care much.

“I-I, got blood on your suit,” you mumbled, looking down at your bleeding hands. A shard of glass was still stuck in your flesh. 

“Oh god, are you okay?” His gloved hands carefully grabbed yours and studied your wounds. “I hear sirens, an ambulance. They can fix this.”

“Y-Yeah,” you stammered and you met the eyes of the mask. “What are you doing in Chi-”

“IS THAT SPIDERMAN?!” You turned your head and saw Flash, followed by the rest of the group, rushing towards you. They all seemed unharmed by the incident.

“I-I gotta go, Y/N. See ya around!” And just as quickly as he had swooped in to save you, Spiderman webbed away. His voice rang in your ears, echoed a sense of familiarity.

“Y/N! Sweetie! Are you alright?” Ms. Lauren panicked, touched your face to check for any obvious injuries before taking your hands. “Don’t worry! The police are on their way!”

When the emergency services arrived, you were quickly escorted into the back of an ambulance. Nurses scrambled, gave you check up and banaged the large gashes on your hand. You shed your green sweatshirt as a spry blonde woman took your blood pressure. It was then that an officer, whose badge shone under the hazy sky, came up to you.

“Ma’am, could you please tell us what exactly happened? At least as much as you remember, that is.” The Midwestern accent was thick, hints of what you assumed were the South Side splayed out when he spoke. You told him everything. The echoed crack of the glass, the shredding pain that ripped your through your hands, and Spiderman.

“He saved me,” you finished, just as the EMTs collected their things. You were fine, aside from the cuts on your palms. A few people had been cut as well, when the glass fell but, thanks to Spiderman, there were no fatalities. 

“Lucky for you, he seems to have a habit of saving kids on field trips,” the officer quipped, “thank you for being cooperative. Stay safe.” The policeman trailed off back toward his car and left you alone with his words as they echoed in your head. It was strange that, somehow, Spiderman had been at both Washington to save your teammates trapped in an elevator and Chicago, to save you. A thought twisted your stomach into knots so tight you feared you might never pull free. 

What if someone you knew on the team was Spiderman? He had known your name, after all. How else could he have known it otherwise? You weren’t like Peter, who got his name in the local paper every other week for some amazing feat. You lived in his shadow, so how had Spiderman known your name?

“Oh, Y/N! You’re alive! I wouldn’t be able to explain another one,” Mr. Harrington said in a rush as he stomped up to you. “I just needed to remind you that you signed the waiver for this trip so Midtown is not to blame for any-”

“I know, Mr. Harrington,” you said and pushed yourself off of the edge of the ambulance. “I think I just want to go back to the hotel.”

“We can do that! We can do that! Kids!” Mr. Harrington gathered the rest of the team while you stood idle by the remaining emergency vehicles. 

“Way to go, you ruined the trip,” MJ smirked as she came up to you. “It was boring anyway. The amount of cheesy ‘look at me under the Bean’ pictures that were taken was disturbing.” You chuckled weakly and frowned.

“Sorry,” you murmured, scratching at the back of your neck. 

“Hey,” MJ rested a calming hand on your shoulder, “I was kidding. Are you-”

“Oh my god, are you okay?” You looked past MJ and saw Peter, followed by Ned as they darted towards you. Peter’s eyes were wild, hair messed up as if it had been pulled around in a poor attempt to fix it.

“I am now,” you replied, too exhausted to maintain a steady disdain towards Peter. “More confused than anything else.”

“Confused? W-Why are you confused?” Peter’s mouth spewed more questions than drops of water from a leaky faucet. 

“He knew my name,” you stressed and glanced between the three people before you. 

“Spiderman knew your name?” MJ asked, her brown eyes as wide as planets. Never before had you seen her so shocked; or shocked in general.

“Yeah, he did. Then the officer pointed out that he was in Washington too...now here.”

“Huh, whatta a coincidence! Right, Peter?” Ned jabbed his friend with his elbow and the pale boy nodded.

“Yeah, it’s w-weird, but I mean it’s good. Right?” Peter’s voice sounded higher than normal, but you didn’t have the strength to question it.

“It is,” you agreed, “but...does that mean he’s….” Just as you trailed off, MJ picked up your thought.

“Spiderman is someone one the team.”

“NO!” Ned squawked and Peter shook his head. 

“No? It makes sense! He follows us on every trip!” Peter scratched at his cheek, never did he lift his eyes to meet anyone’s gaze.

“Yeah, but a teenager? A superhero teenager? Sounds pretty stupid to me,” Ned said, but even you didn’t believe what he said. He chuckled, humor unidentified in the sound. He gave Peter an almost sorry look, a sight you didn’t miss.

“You know what else makes sense?” You turned your attention back to MJ who’s dark eyes were trained on Peter. Chestnut colored irises seemed to expand in fear when Peter looked up. “Everytime Spiderman comes around, Pet-”

“C’mon kiddos! The bus is ready! Back to the hotel!” Ms. Lauren bounded up to the four of you and interrupted MJ’s thought.

“Thank God,” Ned exclaimed and rushed towards the bus. You almost smiled at the scene, felt the same relief as your peer, when you realized how tired you were. Eyes half-lidded, you wandered up to the bus with MJ at your side. She pulled you into a row of seats, gave you the window seat and leaned closer.

“I think Peter is Spiderman,” she whispered and before you could stop it, a laugh similar to that of a circus clown passed over your lips.

“That’s nuts,” you said, giggles still spilled out of your mouth until you managed to quiet yourself down. “He wouldn’t save me, I’m so mean to him.” 

“You’re rude, but I wouldn’t say mean, Y/N,” MJ grumbled as she settled into the seat. “It’s just a theory, maybe he’ll spill it one day. You could ask him, since, if he is, it was Peter that saved you.”

You scoffed and leant your pounding head against the cool surface of the window. “There’s no way Peter is Spiderman.”

MJ paid little attention to you reassertion and glanced a few seats down where the subject in question sat. You rolled your eyes and closed them, unable to combat the tiredness any longer. The echoing thought of Peter and Spiderman rang in your mind. No, Peter couldn’t be Spiderman. That boy had everything, he couldn’t be a superhero too. Then he would be too perfect.

To move along some sort of rest you thought back to Spiderman, the mystery man, himself. You remembered how safe you had felt, tucked in his arm. You had never felt that protected in your life. There was no way Peter Parker could make you feel that.

[somethingjustsouthofbrilliance]

Heartsick (chapter 2)

@tonystark5ever and I are back (finally) with another chapter.  (bet you, guys, didn’t see this coming 😉😜)

Link to chapter 1

Here you go, and let us know if anyone wants to be added to the tag.

Chapter Two

“Thank you, doctor,” the nurse says, her tone congratulatory, as Rhodey peels off his sterile gloves, his hands aching and tired with the tight, precise control he had them under for the past eight hours as he performed the delicate surgery.

“Thank you, Cindy.” He allows himself a moment to share a triumphant smile. Rolls his shoulders in an attempt to relax the tension pulling through his neck, shoulders, and back.  “Good work, everyone. After a week in the hospital, I think Mrs. Johnson will be going home to be with her grandkids and you helped get her there.”

The surgery was a delicate one; and there was a moment when it was touch and go. In times like that, when he is well aware that someone’s life is literally in his hands to win or lose, he always imagines he can feel death’s presence, a whisper of cold and shadows no matter how brightly lit the operating room.

And it’s natural for him in that moment to feel something like fear. His fear was learned at a steep cost--a six year old that had died on his table nearly ten years ago now. He had been clear about the risks with the family, and the boy surely would have died without the surgery anyway, but Rhodey vividly recalls the moment when the small body under his hands had lost its life force, his little heart too broken to function anymore and beyond Rhodey’s skill to fix. So, unlike some of his colleagues, Rhodey never tried to teach himself to not feel fear.  Because fear was warranted. Fear was good. Fear kept him grounded, kept him aware always of the gravity, of the consequences, of the devastation that any and all missteps on his part could bring.  

The specter of that child always seems to visit him during difficult surgeries like this one -- a warning or, perhaps, a reminder of sorts.  He doesn’t usually examine that too closely.  Today, however, it does bring to mind one Tony Stark, who had bumped a child down the list for his own selfish needs. The same Tony Stark still presumably waiting for his consultation.

From a logical standpoint, he knows he should go rest and eat before he attempts it. Hammer did say the boss wanted things nicey-nice with this guy. On the other hand, he feels his irritation is justified, and if he is angry and tired when he goes to meet the guy, it’s probably nothing less than what Stark deserves, considering what Rhodey knows about him.

A small voice in the back of his head warns him that perhaps he shouldn’t be so quick to judge the man based on Justin Hammer’s say-so, that perhaps meeting Tony Stark when he is in this state of mind is not the best idea.

He ignores it. Instead he finds himself growing more and more indignant, wondering who gave Tony Stark the authority to proclaim life or death on those younger and poorer than him. After the euphoria of completing a surgery to save someone’s life, it particularly rankled that this guy, this guy just snaps his fingers, gets a heart, fires Hammer like he owns the place. That’s some kind of entitlement the guys has. Probably just because he had money he thought he should get anything he wanted or needed, and his connections to Pepper Potts (whatever form that took) was only another way he circumvented the system designed to protect people from men like him.

“Nurse? What room is Stark in?” He asked as he stormed onto the busy unit, indignant now.

The nurse raises a surprised eyebrow at the irritation that seeps into his voice.  “Room 616,” she responds cautiously, “but I think he’s sleep--”

“Thank you,” he cuts her off with a dismissive wave, pulling up Stark’s chart for a quick review before heading for the room and ignoring the apprehensive call of “Doctor!” aimed at his retreating back.

***

“Mr. Stark!”

He squashes a tiny pang of guilt he feels at the way the man in bed jolts when he shoves open the door to his room hard enough to send a loud rattle through it. Watches as a tousled head turns sluggishly in his direction, two sleepy brown eyes blinking groggily at him from a haggard face.  The guy looks sick, Rhodey has to give him that: the unhealthy tint of his skin, the sunken cheeks, the dark bags of exhaustion under his eyes.  Still, doesn’t make him any less of an asshole.

“My name is Dr. Rhodes, Mr. Stark.  A colleague of mine, Dr. Hammer, asked me to review your case, so I wanted to stop by and chat with you, if you don’t mind.” He gives him a pointed look and Stark reaches over and turns on the light, easing to a sitting position in the bed.

A spark of dark amusement flashes in Stark’s eyes at the mention of the other surgeon, his lips twitching with disdain.  “And how is the good doctor Hammer?  Has he managed to kill any patients lately?”  His voice is raspy with sleep, but his eyes look clear, focused and annoyed.

Yep, Rhodey thinks, his own temper flaring with annoyance, definitely an asshole.

“Doctor Hammer is a renowned and respected surgeon, Mr. Stark, and you would do well to remember that,” he states, voice cold. Then adds in a quiet afterthought, just loud enough for the other to hear, “He was right to warn me about you.”

''Oh, this oughta be good.'' A sharp plastic smile twists Stark's lips. ''Well, by all means, share the good doctor's diagnosis with the class. I'm dying of suspense here.''

''I don’t need his opinion to know that you're ungrateful and entitled,'' Rhodey spits out, picking up the clipboard with Stark's chart to give his hands something to do lest he should lose control completely. ''You physically assaulted the surgeon who saved your life and--''

''Hammer told you that?'' There's a steel note of warning in Stark's voice, a hard glint in his eyes.

Rhodes ignores both.

''He told me enough.”

Stark cocks his head to the side, his eyes narrowing slightly. “I’m sorry, I guess I’m a bit confused, Doctor… Rhodes, is it?” he says waspishly, reading Rhodey’s name tag. “Did you say this was a consult? ‘Cause I kinda get the feeling that I’m on trial here, with you being judge, jury and executioner. How exactly are you qualified? If you’re playing second fiddle to Justin Hammer then I think I’d like to demand a third opinion.  There’s gotta be at least one competent surgeon at the Shield Hospital.”

The clipboard creaks dangerously in Rhodey’s grip.

“I see. So Dr. Hammer wasn’t the first or the last.  You insult the skills and intelligence of every surgeon tasked with saving your sorry life.” He takes a deep, calming breath.  Spits out, disdainful, “Seems he had you pegged right all along. And even if he hadn't warned me, the mere fact that you would push a sick kid down the donor list just so you could get your heart transplant first tells me everything I need to know about your character, Mr. Stark.”

Whatever response Rhodes has been expecting, the confused, quiet murmur of ''What?'' wasn't it.  It throws him a bit, makes him wonder for a moment if there isn't something that he's missing here.

But only for a moment.

''Peter Parker's 16 years old,” he hisses, the furious tremble in his voice just barely under control. “A bright kid with a bright future. Which you have stolen from him.''

A momentary flash of a memory flickers in his mind. The bright and promising smile of the six year old that had died ten years ago; that would make him about Peter’s age now. It seemed so wrong, so unfair, another life wasted and lost or at the very least put at risk. He feels the heat of anger in his chest, the dangerous flare of it.  Knows it’s time to go before he says or does something he would regret.

He snaps the chart closed with a bang. Tosses it carelessly at the bed, feeling only a tinge of remorse at the way Stark flinches when the clipboard hits him in the chest.

''I think I have all the information I need,'' he sneers, turning away from the man to head toward the door. ''There's a terminally ill organ donor at our partner hospital who's taken a turn for the worst today. I was told to expect the transplant team within the next 48-72 hours. Someone will be back to prep you for surgery then.''

He pauses, one hand already on the door handle. Turns to throw one last glance at Stark, who stares past him with an oddly lost, pensive look in his eyes.

''I'd say it was a pleasure to meet you,Mr. Stark, but I'm not in the habit of lying to my patients. Good day.''

***

Rhodey feels surprisingly better after his altercation with Stark; after all, if he is forced to do a surgery on someone who bumped a kid down the list, he can at least sleep easier having given the bastard a piece of his mind first. He’s a doctor. He’ll do his job and do it well. But he doesn’t have to like it.

He raises his eyebrows in challenge to the nurse as he walks by. There’s a pretty good chance she heard the entire conversation between him and Stark and for some unfathomable reason she appears to be unhappy with him. It doesn’t matter; Stark’s pockets are so deep, there were probably very few people he couldn’t buy or charm. Rhodey just happens to have a bit more integrity than the rest.

He heads to the doctors’ lounge. There was free food, sometimes even good stuff, and he is hungry and tired. He still has to visit the clinic and do some charting. The elation he felt from telling off Stark has settled in his chest, and he stubbornly tells himself it was a good thing. Just. Without the anger he felt in the moment, he kind of, maybe, feels a bit like a jerk about it now.  Even remorseful.

The feeling doesn’t last.

He has just finished eating and is washing his hands when he catches a glimpse in the hallway of someone that looks suspiciously like Stark, dressed in hospital issue pajama pants and a hoodie with the hood up. Cardiac ICU patients aren’t allowed to leave the unit, and if it is him, Rhodey will give him hell for it. Imagine thinking so much of yourself that you believe yourself to be above the hospital rules!

It takes him a moment to dry his hands and get out into the hallway, but Stark isn’t moving fast and Rhodey has no trouble tracking him, keeping close enough to follow him to see where the man is going but not so close that Stark would notice his scrutiny.

He slows down, nevertheless, allowing the gap between them to widen a bit, when he suddenly realizes where Stark is headed-- the Pediatric unit. And Rhodey can only think of one reason for Stark to be going that way; it has to have something to do with Parker. A horrible thought occurs to him in that moment: what if Stark plans to threaten or intimidate the boy somehow.  What if…?  

He clenches his fists, his nostrils flaring.  If that’s the case, if Stark tries to pull any crap like that, he’ll kick the guy’s out of this hospital so fast his head would spin.  He doesn’t care what Pepper Potts has to say about it.

He loses sight of Stark briefly as the man turns a corner and goes through the double doors leading to the Pediatric Unit. When Rhodes sees him again, Stark is already standing in front of the glassed in playroom, an area where non-contagious children are allowed to go and play or do craft projects to help keep them entertained while they are in the hospital. Several younger kids are in there now, playing with some Legos and stuffed animals.  Stark isn’t looking at them, however.  His attention seems to be glued to a teenage boy, sitting in the corner and tuning his guitar.

“Who wants to hear a song!” the teen says, and a few of the children exclaim their excitement and bring their toys over as the older boy begins to play.

And it is only then that Rhodey notices the IV hooked to the boy’s arm. So this… this has to be Peter Parker. And Stark just stands there, watching him without the kid noticing. It’s creepy, it’s...

It isn’t.

Stark looks... eviscerated, is the only thing Rhodey can think of. Like someone had sliced open his chest, reached in and crushed his heart. And he can swear there are tears in the man’s eyes.  Rhodey doesn’t understand it, any of it. Confused, he moves out of Stark’s line of sight, able to see him though not hear him clearly. He’s curious despite himself, intrigued to see how this will play out.

A curly haired man in a white doctor’s coat approaches Stark a moment later, coming up and shaking his hand. It’s Dr. Banner.  Rhodey recognizes him easily enough, he’s met him in a few conferences, spoke to him on several occasions. The man is a pediatric cardiac specialist, doubtless the one taking care of Peter. And that’s reassuring, Rhodey thinks.  He’s heard good things about Banner, and he’s had enough interactions with him to know the man’s as good as his reputation claims him to be.  He’s also known to be very protective of his patients, and Rhodey wonders if Banner is here to chase Stark out of the Pediatric wing.

Whatever the conversation that’s taking place between them, it’s less than pleasant.  Stark looks agitated and Banner appears to be the one on the defensive.

Baffled, Rhodey watches as Banner puts a placating hand on Stark’s shoulder, which the latter brushes off abruptly, turning to gesture at Parker. The noise and movement have attracted some attention, however, and when Stark turns around, he locks eyes with the bright eyed teenager. Peter seems to recognize Stark, and it isn’t the starry-eyed recognition of a celebrity one sees on television or YouTube. No. There’s a warm sparkle in the kid’s eyes that screams familiarity, and Rhodey feels his confusion deepen.

Peter waves happily in greeting, his face lighting up like a Christmas tree, and Stark gives him a weak, forced smile in return, waving and giving him a thumbs up to continue his concert. Peter nods and turns back to the kids, flicking his gaze occasionally back to Stark.

Banner says something again, holding up his hands in a placating gesture. Rhodey can’t make out what it is, but he thinks he hears Pepper mentioned. Stark opens his mouth as if to argue, then suddenly hunches over, as if in pain, his right hand clasped around his chest. Banner steps in closer, his hand gripping the man’s shoulder again.  Leans down, concerned. Stark shakes his head as if to dismiss the concern, but interrupts the motion half-way, grips Banner’s arm instead with his free hand, holding on tight.

Banner, looking positively alarmed now, waves over an orderly.  But Stark pushes away from him at that moment, straightens out with visible effort, gesturing the orderly away. Rhodey can see Bruce making an urgent argument.

“I refuse,” Stark grits out loudly enough for Rhodey to hear. “You can’t make me.”

Rhodey has had enough.

He pushes himself up to stand, walks over to the two men. “Dr. Banner,” he says in greeting. “Mr. Stark. I’d sure like to know what you’re doing out of your room.” Up close he can’t help but assess his patient’s state and he doesn’t like what he sees. The man is paler than ever, sweat dotting his upper lip and forehead from even the brief walk over.

“Would you?” Stark’s voice is dangerously low, anger etched in his face and fire in his eyes. “Your concern is duly noted, Doctor. But as I recall your services won’t be required for 48-72 hours, so in the meantime feel free to go to hell.”

Offended, Rhodey draws back, his own temper flaring.

Banner looks between them anxiously, one hand nervously pushing the glasses higher up on his nose. “Tony--”

“Save it,” Stark snaps, interrupting whatever it was that Banner was trying to say. “You’re lucky I don’t have every dime of funding for this place withdrawn. You should have told me. I trusted you.”

“Tony, it wasn’t like that--”

“Are you honestly threatening a pediatrician by saying you’re going to take away funding for his patients?” Rhodey interrupts, incredulous. “You’re... unbelievable!”

“You should talk with Hammer some more,” Stark spits out, his eyes almost black against the alarming pallor of his face, “he’ll tell you so many unbelievable things about me, you’ll be able to write a fucking book. Might even get you published.”  The pale lips twist in an ugly sneer, Stark pushing closer to the two men. “And since we’re getting along so swimmingly, Dr. Rhodes, you’re officially fired. Now there’s a decision we can all be happy with.”

Too surprised to speak or stop him, Rhodey just watches, stunned, as Stark stalks away, fury coloring his every step. Banner makes a move to go after him, then sighs, frustrated, as his beeper goes off.

“What the hell was that about?” Rhodey demands when he can finally find his tongue again.

“I’d love to tell you all about it but there’s an emergency.”  Banner sounds anxious, and somehow Rhodey doesn’t think that unease has much to do with the emergency at hand.  “Listen, Dr. Rhodes, Tony Stark is a good man, one the world needs.”

“Needs his money you mean,” Rhodey can’t help the disdain that slips into his voice.

“No.” Banner blinks at him, his brown eyes inexplicably disappointed and... sad. “I don’t mean that. I mean we need Tony. And I’m afraid if you don’t find a way to save him, no one will.”

Rhodey shrugs.  “Well he just fired my ass, so....”  The thought bothers him for some reason, even though he doesn’t like to admit it.

Banner nods, grim.  Turns away, already starting in the direction of the OR. Calls over his shoulder before his steps turn into a hurried jog, “You might think about trying to get yourself unfired, Doctor. If you’ve been listening to anything Justin Hammer has been saying about him… let’s just say you might want to get a second opinion.”

[ttaohuan]

good morning (it’s probably gonna be like 1am by the time i finish writing this) tbh i’m known around uni & to my friends as being late for everything so why did i expect this to be any different???

hi, i’m alex!! i’m 20, i suck at intros but i’ll give this a good go! i’m going into my third year of creative writing in september so everything we do here is actually great practice; thx for letting me & my son interact with y’all <3 

( CAI XUKUN / CISMALE / HE/HIM ). [ TAO HUAN ] is a [ TWENTY-THREE ] year old [ UNDERGRAD ] student studying [ VOCAL PERFORMANCE ]. they are known for being [ HARDWORKING & CONFIDENT ], but also being [ UNTRUSTWORTHY & TEMPERAMENTAL ]. if there was a song that described their life, it would be [ GIVE YOURSELF A TRY BY THE 1975 ]. ( ooc: ALEX / 20 / BST / HE/HIM )

first things first!

he’s a newish idol (singer) muse that i made to replace another boy i had no muse for, so i’m still kind of figuring him out tbh, bear with me

early life!

born in chengdu, china, but his mother moved them to new orleans when he was three

we can skip past the typical cute good upbringing; he was a happy kid, never really knew his mom was struggling @ Life until he was older

also probably a theatre kid when he was at school; always that annoying asshole that always got the lead in school musicals & hardcore gifted & talented

career!

he’s a member of 7-member boy group cherry (3 years) and 10-member co-ed group trap (1 year)

unlike most of his members, he wasn’t scouted on the street. actually, huan waited and auditioned for two different companies while they were doing int. auditions when he was 13 and 15, but despite getting through both times his mother never let him go to korea to pursue it 

it took him another year of begging for her to let him do it tbh so she pulled her savings and put him on a plane and uhhh as they say the rest is history!

jk, he got through, everything is good, he debuted at 20 after 4 years of intense training 

his boy group has super cute concepts though and as much fun as he’s having, it really isn’t huan’s style. he’s out there on stage wearing cute ass pastel outfits and blowing kisses into crowds but he’d rather harmonise about sucking dick on 3 different tracks

tbh that’s why trap kind of exists? everyone in trap is a member of other groups or a soloist usually known for being cute, but their concepts are hella dark & mature

both groups are currently on an extended hiatus because of individual projects; acting, comebacks, etc

beaumont!

originally, huan was supposed to take online classes in a different subject but bc he’s so free atm, he’s decided he’s good to physically attend school for a while. his management might pull some strings and get it switched to an online degree if anything in his life changes, but for now... he’s here! uwu

he studies vocal performance because he lowkey misses the intense vocal training from when he was a trainee & also bc it ensures he practices while being away from his groups

also kinda why he dances & he’s a part of the music society too. music is basically his entire life, he doesn’t know a world outside of it

hmmm... actually fills up on a lot of extracurriculars bc he’s very VERY LOWKEY scared ab the future of his career even tho he’s...doing very well

BUT IM HERE ACTING LIKE HE’S AN ANGEL LOL!

bottom line is no one at school has fuckin heard of cherry or trap or even know his name and face so he’s pretty much free to do whatever he wants. he’s all nicey nicey with his fans & friends but he can be pretty cold & reliant on his money & his looks to have a good time/make new friends

like, he doesn’t really take anything and anyone seriously. he knows he’s gonna be out of here in a few years time (tbh maybe even less bc conflicting schedules) so he’s not worried about repercussions

hence being the president of kappa theta, and he’s fucking good at it

the only time he’ll be soft is on new brothers or those going through hazing, but it’s on the down low because he’s generally pretty unapproachable since he keeps to himself and he thinks it’ll ruin kappa theta’s overall image if he allows himself to be 100% soft w everyone

but he throws the best fuckin parties! no one’s been to a shit tao huan party, gn

connections!

SOMEONE HE’S SOFT WITH even tho i said he’s not soft bc im... gay and i want fluff

i 100% believe he’s fucked someone & then fucked them over, either bc schedules in the past, or recently at school bc he don’t...give a shit ab anything

maybe some of his group members oops????

roommate? they hate how huan always leaves his clothes & towels & instruments literally everywhere. one time they found his aftershave & toothbrush & one (1) shoe in their bag. how? nobody knows. certainly not huan

actually going back to that kind-of-ex plot; he’s been all over the world but w focuses on america, china, japan & korea so if u want an angsty ex-bf or ex-friend plot hit me up bc huan is perfect for those

probably has one set group of people (apart from his bros!) that he goes to for parties n shit. probably ditches every time they’re out & they find him again at the end of the night. he’s like a fuckin dust bunny he’s cruisin everywhere & u lose him sometimes but not to worry...he still there

u already know to hit me up if there’s anything angsty..yum

he’s a good older bro tbh even tho he’s an only child so uhhh some ppl he always kinda looks out for even tho he doesn’t know why?

SOMEONE HE DOESN’T REALLY LIKE BUT LOOKS OUT FOR ANYWAY????? WHATS HE SO PROTECTIVE FOR???

someone who actually does know him as a musician.. whether they like him or not. a fan? cool. someone who’s not rlly a fan? cool again

honestly i haven’t been in a decent group rp for a hot minute & i already see some ppl i know from past rps in here so i know we’re gonna have a good time; just hit me up with whatever u want & we’ll work on it! uwu

[cinderboned]

🍲 🍎 🍆

Whoops. Sorry Roselle, just realized I never actually hit post on this. Been sitting on it all this time.

🍲: Are you patient? How far does your patience go? What is one thing that will tick you off no matter what?

Heh, maybe? I’m used to waiting for all kinds a things. Working towards my goals little by little is pretty much the only way I can do em. Full bore just…. burns me right out, so why get bothered over the interim, yeah? Same way with people. They’ve got their own shit going on, and I respect that. Try t’ meet them where they are. If that means y’ can’t get on wit em at first, fine. 

…But the point at which my patience ends is when a dude tries to take advantage, or plays at being nicey nice when they’ve got a knife in their hand. If you’re leaning on me just to see me bend, that shit gets old real fast. And I don’t sit well with people who look at folk like property.  If you treat people like party favors, we aren’t gonna get along for very long.

🍎: What, in your opinion, is your best quality? What do others say is your best quality? Do you agree with them?

Ahahaha, that’s a toughie! Honest to god, I don’t know. I used t’ be more than I am now, I feel like. I’ll go with loyalty, if you manage to earn it. 

As for others...? Who knows!I’ve heard I’m good at making folk feel like they’re being listened to.People’ve said I’m caring because of it, but... Well. Think what ya will. Thanks Rosie.

[masked-puppetmaster]

giant BATIM pre game headcannons post

So um I may have gotten carried away with this- 

This is gonna be a long post guys buckle up 

* When Bendy was first summoned, he was very anxious and shy. He really only trusted Joey at first, but grew to trust everyone else eventually. * Wally had the hardest time gaining Bendy's trust * After getting used to the studio and it's workers, bendy outgrew most of his shyness. He still gets pretty anxious, especially in crowds, but around the studio he's pretty comfortable. * Despite being a demon and all, bendy still has a few fears: stage fright, crowds, and heights (also abandonment but we'll get to that later) * Elaborating on that, bendy is fine preforming in front of a camera or anyone in the studio, but put on a stage in front of a large group of people he doesn't do so well. Living with a limited amount of people in a small studio, he tends to panic in large social situations. Crowds bother him also because he's very small. Heights taller than a table are a problem, mainly because he tends to always somehow get someplace high by accident and can't get down. The only real exception is Boris carrying him. Boris is very tall but bendy allows it. * Bendy is kind of claustrophobic (this gets worse after the events of the game but shh these are pre game headcannons) * Boris and Joey are the only ones who can carry bendy without him getting scared. Bendy will allow the others to carry him but it makes him very very uncomfortable. * Henry or Sammy carrying bendy on their shoulder is okay, but only if bendy climbs up there himself.

* Bendy hides behind Joey, Henry, or Sammy's leg like a five year old when he's nervous 

* Bendy also "melts" when experiencing negative emotions. Sometimes it's just drips, other times it's more severe, depending on how intense the emotions are * He can melt and change shape on his own accord too though. Like if he wanted to get into a locked room he could melt into a puddle and go underneath the door * All the toons can shift but bendy is the only one who can do it to that extent. The only shifting the others can do is like toon logic, like getting literally flattened by a safe and then immediately going back to their regular form * Toon logic/ hammer-space is something all the toons can do. * However they don't really use it too often * It normally doesn't take much work to use toon logic but doing too much too often can wear them out * Since bendy didn't use it very often, at first no one knew about toon logic. This led to bendy getting hit by a car and everyone flipping out, only for bendy to get right back up and be confused why everyone was so alarmed * Toon logic works to a certain extent in the real world. The toons can still feel pain and get injured, but things like getting safes dropped on them that would kill a regular human won't kill them. It still might hurt like hell through. Toon logic also allows the toons to be very strong at times, no matter what their size is. * Then toons are made of ink. They can't break bones because there are no bones to break. * All the toons have some sort of ink monster form, but it's literally almost never used. Maybe once or twice in a situation of genuine danger * Pretty much everyone in the studio can sing really well. The exception is Joey, who can't sing for shit * However, Joey can play the guitar and the piano * People never really want their kids around bendy (with him being a demon and all) but bendy is actually really great with kids * Bendy is very needy when it comes to attention. He constantly has to be paid attention to * He's got a pretty big fear of being left behind or abandoned (something that intensifies after the events of the Henry incident but shh we don't talk about that) * Even though he doesn't really like getting picked up, he does like cuddles. He is very small and will just kind of....curl into you like a cat * He likes warmth * In my own mind, bendy will always be some form of ace. But if he did date, I'd say he was pan. * Like he doesn't date but if he did he wouldn't give a shit about what gender you are * Bendy really likes animals. He especially likes dogs, but wether or not this is because his best friend is a wolf remains a mystery * Bendy and Boris don't get along super well in the show, but outside the show they are inseparable * Bendy and Boris didn't take an instant liking to each other. Boris was very open to being friends but bendy was too suspicious. After a while though bendy grew more comfortable and the friendship grew * After the friendship grew, they became best friends to the point of being brothers; they are insanely close, even if they make fun of each other a lot * Bendy is the "says they know what they're doing and to trust them and then immediately makes a complete fool of themselves because they didn't know what they were doing" friend * Boris is the "I'm much more sensible than you and will warn you if you're about to do something stupid" friend but he's also the "You mean a lot to me and I'd die to keep you safe but if you just ignore my warnings and make a total fool out of yourself as long as you're not severely injured I'm gonna laugh my ass off" friend * A lot of the times bendy will do something stupid and after confirming he's okay Boris will laugh really hard for a while * Bendy gets really offended like "*sniff* how dare you laugh at me" * Boris continues to laugh but still tries to make bendy feel better like "That was hilariously stupid you're an idiot now let's go get ice cream and watch movies k" * Boris is normally a kind, soft boi™ (if not somewhat savage at times) but you dare hurt someone he cares about (ex. Bendy) He is a ferocious beast ready to destroy you * Bendy also gets a lot of nightmares and Boris is ON IT * at the slightest sound of any distress Boris will get up and sleep with the bab and comfort him * Alice was harder. Alice and Boris got along pretty well since the beginning but bendy seemed to despise her. * This went along for a while, which upset Alice because she'd never done anything to bendy * Turns out bendy was just scared, mainly of being replaced. Bendy and Alice talked a while and after that gradually started to become friends * To anyone from the outside, it would look like bendy and Alice hated each other. This is, in fact, far from the truth. They care about one another a lot- they're just extremely competitive. * Everything with bendy and Alice is a competition. EVERYTHING. * As you may guess, this rarely ends well. * There's only ever been a serious accident once or twice. Most of the time they're just small mishaps that everyone laughs about later. * they stick out their tongues at each other like 5 year olds and everyone else in the room rolls their eyes * Sometimes it even gets a little ridiculous- bendy has the tutu because he got it just to prove he could look better in a skirt than Alice * They asked joey henry and Sammy to judge who looked better- Sammy took bendy's side, henry took Alice's side, and joey walked out of the room mumbling "is this seriously my life now?" * They're always playing a constant game of everything you can do I can do better * They insult each other a lot, but it's more in a sibling manner than anything else. * Alice isn't too nicey nicey towards bendy most of the time but if bendy is hurt or scared or upset She definitely shows how much she cares about him and tries to help in any way she can, even if all she can do is provide a little comfort (this goes the other way around too- Alice will comfort bendy and vice versa) * Alice and Boris always had a good relationship from the beginning * They weren't exactly best friends or anything but they were definitely friends * Boris always respected Alice- he always made every attempt to think of Alice and include her in things (despite knowing all too well bendy didn't like her much) He never looked at/thought of her differently just because she was a girl- he fully saw that she was very strong and capable of taking care of herself (although she was not above using her feminine charm and looks to get her way) * When bendy and Alice finally started getting along his response was basically "well it's about time you two" * Whenever bendy and Alice get into fights he just kind've rolls his eyes and doesn't get involved unless it gets physical, and even then both Alice and bendy are basically the size of small children so really all he has to do is sigh and stand in between them, pushing the two away from each other while they take no notice and continue to scream at each other and throw useless air punches * When Alice was upset that bendy disliked her when she'd done nothing she confided a lot in Boris (seeing as Boris was the closest to bendy) * Boris always tried to comfort her, insisting that "its not that he hates you, he just has a hard time trusting new people. He'll come around eventually." Boris eventually turns out to be right and even after Alice and bendy start getting along she continues to confide in him * Boris is always happy to pause anything he's doing and listen * He's a helper and tries to help in any possible way he can * Out of Sammy, Joey, and Henry, Sammy is the youngest of the three adults. He tends to act much more emotional and child-like than an adult should. He's very extreme: if he's happy he's singing and laughing and dancing, if he's sad he's crying an ocean * He likes to help- he gave bendy his tutu and Boris his overalls * Most clothes the toons have were given to them by Sammy, either Sammy had them already or he took them out to a store * Sammy has a large abundance of sweaters and bendy fucking loves sweaters 

*everyone has a closet at the studio, for extra clothes, pajamas, etc. bendy often sneaks into them and steals sweaters

*The toons are the only ones who actually live at the studio, but at least one human stays at the studio per night with the toons. They usually rotate but sometimes there's voulenteers. * Sammy is also super clumsy * The toons usually look to him for fun- he's always willing to play with them and assist them with pranks and shenanigans * Despite how he acts he's smart and he knows what he's doing * He's also amazing at comfort and singing: if the toons need some cheering up they go to Sammy, and there's been more than one occasion bendy woke up from come crazy nightmare and Sammy sang him back to sleep * Everyone HATES seeing Sammy sad * Its almost unbearable * He's basically the toons dad/cool older brother * He's also a bit of a mom too * Carries around ponchos and snacks and band aids and stuff like that in case anyone needs them * He also carries around bubbles literally everywhere * Like weirdmageddon could be happening and you could count on Sammy to have bubbles * He's a wonderful person (although somewhat salty at times) and an amazing musician and singer but a terrible horrible cook * But he loves to cook * And no one has the heart to tell him he can't cook for shit * Sometimes Sammy gets involved in the toon's shenanigans * He's more neutral when it comes to what side he's on but he tends to take bendy's side a teensy bit more * Henry is the oldest of the three adults, though not necessarily the most responsible * He likes to have fun: he likes taking the toons out places and is the one that does it the most often * He's very protective of the toons- he considers them to be like grandchildren * He's also been in the army before and he sometimes will entertain the toons with old war stories: the toons enjoy them and sometimes will just come in while henry is drawing and sit down and ask to hear one- henry is happy to oblige and will tell the story as he works * He adds sound effects and gestures to make the stories more entertaining * He wears glasses but he really only needs them for reading * The toons love henry and are always super happy to see him * He's also a bit of a teacher- if the toons have any questions about the human world Henry's always glad to explain * Joey is younger than Henry by about a year and half but is still a lot more responsible (he's honestly the most responsible one there) * He likes to have fun as much as everyone else but he actually cares about if they're getting work done and reminds everyone of their work and deadlines (TBH the studio would probably be completely gone/bankrupt if it wasn't for him because if it wasn't for him no work would get done smh) * Everyone makes fun of him being serious but they all love him anyway * Joey does have  a tiny bit of a temper- he's very easily frustrated and can be a little scary * He sometimes forces the toons to be pushed a little beyond their limits but the moment he realizes he's fucked up he feels really really bad * Despite coming off as serious and strict he cares about the toons very much, they're like his children (he actually has gotten used to referring to them as his kids and the toons have taken up a habit of calling him papa drew) (the first time they called him that he nearly cried because god they're precious) * He's very proud of his ink kids he loves them very very much even if he doesn't show it 24/7 * He also has a bit of anxiety and he gets panic attacks sometimes * (The only others prone to anxiety are bendy and Henry- while Joey's panic attacks aren't too frequent (though definitely not unheard of) bendy has a lot. Henry on the other hand has very little and only get them if something triggers a war flashback) * Joey needs glasses because he is 100% blind without them * He's very prone to losing them however and has to blindly fumble around Velma style to find them * The toons have stolen them a few times just because its funny * Sammy plays many instruments. Henry and Alice don't play anything but they sing. Joey and bendy play the piano. In addition to the piano, bendy can also play the violin (but he doesn't very often). Boris plays the clarinet. Joey, in addition to playing the piano, also plays the acoustic guitar. * Wally doesn't play anything. He can dance, but he rarely ever does (in front of other people at least) * Sammy is a serious musician. That being said, one of his favorite pastimes is kicking down the door to joeys room and playing careless whisper on the kazoo. * Bendy is the shortest of everyone, he's about the size of a four or five year old. Alice is about a head taller than bendy. Bendy is just a TINY bit smaller than the size of joeys leg, if that gives you any indication to how tall Joey is. Henry is a bit taller than Joey but not by too much. Wally is about the same height as Henry. Sammy and Boris are about the same height, and are taller than everyone * The toons are completely fine in regular water. * However, holy water hurts them. They can't step foot inside a church without nearly dying. * The toons mainly survive off of ink. They can eat regular human food but too much will make them sick. They also can't have sugar. Everyone learned both of these things the hard way. 

* Everyone finds it hilarious how much the toons are fascinated with the most normal things like touch activated lamps and microwaves * Sunsets and stars were a big deal to the toons they were so amazed the first time they saw them * Most of the studio is fine with fireworks. They exceptions are bendy and Henry. * Bendy doesn't like fireworks (they're too loud and scary) and Henry doesn't like them because the loud boom noises remind him of the war. So on the Fourth of July bendy and Henry have just made a habit of staying together in the studio and having their own small celebration with food and old movies. They both enjoy it.

[airbnbfestivals]

Had the most ridiculous guest to stay at my house. He is a self proclaimed ENERGY HEALER. When he got here, and I opened the door he mocked my reservation saying "I am a Vietnam vet and this 'affluent apartment' doesn't even have an elevator" PLS READ WHAT HE TEXTED ME (told me I was going to die)

So he complained the entire time he was here which thank god was only 1 night.

He sent me texts throughout the night asking "what about the second 'b' in airbnb" asking if I served coffee because he just noticed I have signs in my room (and ALL OVER MY LISTING) that the kitchen is off limits.

He admitted to not even looking at the listing and just booking with me (and in his reservation message was like "I love your energy") I told him I don't let people use the kitchen because of my extensive food allergies and then. is like "yes my healing energy sense that you do have allergies and other stressors in your life that do not serve you well"

Basically he was such an ass and so unhappy I was trying to do damage control to make sure he didn't mess up my 4.8, 5-time super host status by writing a nasty review.

This. Is. The. Text. He. Sent. Me. Telling me I'm going to die and his ties with Obama

(For reference He was 70 and had long hair and was plump)

****

"I am touched by the creative lengths you have gone to turn your apartment into an additional source of income and to draw on your talent for acting to create a setting that people have found hospitable according to your guest book.

I left so early because when I went into the bathroom to take a shower I couldn’t find a single product to wash with that wasn’t toxic.

That was after a night when I hoarse and was coughing from the toxic fumes of the products used to clean

And as I told you last night when I check psychically I can tell that your health suffers to a large degree from lifestyle choices about what you eat and personal care and household cleaning products.

Yes I pick up that you’ve had a difficult times in life and carry a lot of pain and I feel for you.

But you also made it clear that you were not interested even after I offered several times the information that I’m an energy healer.

Not so much as one question to inquire in the kind of help that might be available even after I offered.

I wasn’t marketing, simply showing concern given what I can pick up psychically.

So the evidence is clear you and I live in different worlds. I could not simply write a cheery nicey nicey entry in your guestbook. Or a glowing review on Airbnb. I realize that people like me who would need to be cautioned to stay away from your place because there’s not even a nontoxic bar of soap are not you’re likely clients anyway.

So I will pass up the request to post a review.

It is also clear that you are already stretched and challenged so I don’t need to add to that by saying anything in public that will bring you more pain.

I had high hopes in helping Obama get elected and what I knew about Michelle and what she would likely represent for the country would help spread information about self care.

But I also know that habits and addictions are not easy for people to change. And few people want to get unsolicited free advice from some old guy who’s claiming to know something that they don’t.

So I genuinely wish you blessings for the long-haul which for me includes this life and what’s beyond because it seems from the way you’re living you’re going to be moving on before too long."

****

WHAT. THE. HELL?!?1

Original post here =+-+= Get $20 off your first AirBnB stay.

[theworldoffostering]

First World Problems

One of the three bridesmaids I had in my wedding is getting married this weekend. Although we have drifted significantly since my marriage (mainly because DH and I have had a million children since getting married and have no time for anything else), we still played significant roles in one another’s lives and we want to be there. We initially RSVP’d yes, then two weeks ago I texted her and said we couldn’t make it because we couldn’t leave DS with anyone. Now I have a college aged cousin in town from the west coast and my mom offered to take DS. The cousin is willing to hang with the other three. Now we can go. This all transpired in the last 24 hours.

Today I was reminded of the dress code. DH is supposed to wear a suit. I think the only time I’ve ever seen him in a suit was for our wedding, and it was rented. I thought it was a khaki and button down with a tie kind of thing. Whoops! I’m stuck. I’m unsure of what I should wear, and have nothing that formal that actually fits me at this point. Prior to having kids, I was a pretty standard size 10. Now that I’ve had kids and have so many knee problems which limits my ability to exercise, I’m sitting at a 16. I don’t know how to dress with this body as I still haven’t adjusted to it even though H is three. I quit nursing last July and still don’t have any bras that work for me that aren’t nursing bras.

I’m in need of a wardrobe makeover. Now I’m really unsure of going to this wedding. There is a ton of additional pressure I’m putting on myself because all of these people from our old church that are friends with Ms. 6’s former adoptive home will be in attendance. You guys, I have not even had a pedicure since last July when I went to Mexico for the summer. I had a haircut sometime in February I think. I don’t know how to do make up. I tried today to get into a salon for an updo and makeup tomorrow and the only appointment they had was at 3:30, much too late to make it work for me.

What do I wear to this thing? The wedding is outside. It’s the same place DH and I got married. It’s on grass and it’s supposed to be in he 70s with a chance of rain. The reception is on a boat so there’s no escape. There is open bar but I’m not a big drinker. I don’t know how to make nicey nice with people I don’t actually like. And again, what am I supposed to wear? Think tall woman with no appropriate undergarments to pull off an off the shoulder or strapless gown. Think small town where I have a Target and s TJ Maxx. I need Pinterest.

[askdurianrider]

Man I watch the video of you and FL doing your q&a up the doi when she roasted you about being on Test and your reactions are so strange. Were you in denial or just saying off things to fool the audience? I mean she's basically saying "you're taking Test, it's fucking with your head, you've become someone else, you need to stop." Or was she just flat out lying? It's the weirdest 30 mins of footage I've ever watched haha

In my head I was thinking ‘Ive just invested the last 9 years into you, saved you from being a broke stripper in Sydney who was getting passed around amongst the meat head steroid bodybuilders of randwick fitness first, hide your lies, backed you up every day, taught you  how to eat and train to get the body you currently have  and helped you cure your eating disorder and NOW you are trying to pull this trick so you can sell more ebooks than me? Take me out of context on by pretending that I NEVER made those videos in late 2014 sharing my steroid experiments by going to the local family doctor and getting given AAS by them?  what next, delete me from my own website?’.

That is the stuff I was thinking. I was in shock AND denial that she would do something to me like that. Afterwards I said ‘you better put that in context tomorrow otherwise everyone is going to know about your botox and how you NEVER told anyone about that and lied to all their faces every time someone brought it up’. FL said ‘haha you wouldnt!’ and then I assured her that I would so if you watch the next days vid you see her basically put everything in context and backpedal faster than one of those italian tanks in WW2 that were designed to go faster backwards than forwards.

Watch my vids from day 1 and you will always see Im talking about diet and fitness and stirring the pot. Nothing has changed in my core delivery except I USED to think that if you swore on youtube that you WILL get deleted lol so I was all nicey nicey but once I saw Jenna Marbles swearing then I changed my delivery tone.

Watch my vids today and same time every year the last 6 years and its the same shit. Watch FL’s vid and you have to severely question her mental health. She can’t even zoom the expensive camera in or she doesnt notice it. Those face fillers and botox really have changed her and that is the main reason I no longer wanted to be with someone that lacked the self confidence just to let their face be natural when it looked fine in the first place. 

Doing botox and face fillers etc means there is something else going on inside. FL likes to pretend that I ‘forced her ‘into plastic surgery addiction but the reality is she got a boob job when she was just 21 so was obviously that kind of person before I even met her. I 10000% against botox and face fillers because to me it is DANGEROUS injecting something so close to the human brain. 

FL focuses now too much on money and looks and I got bored of that. She just rented an ENTIRE house and called it ‘minimalist’. Why didnt she let a homeless family stay downstairs for a bit? Find a legit homeless family who isnt on drugs but just needs a place to stay for a little bit whilst she rents it out. NAH! 

FL would probably let her own mother starve to death if it meant another botox shot could be afforded lol.

FL needs to have no wrinkles in her face to feel happy therefore she is addicted to botox. She will continue to lie about it because she has lied so big about it and she can’t handle the backlash if she came clean.

Me? I made videos about my steroid experiments back in late 2014. In those videos I show EXACTLY what I took, how I got them etc. I document how it killed my climbing and running abilities because it just stacked on muscle weight that even today is hard for me to shred off and that is why I don’t climb as fast as I used to like in 2013 and early 2014. When I was on steroids FL used to say how good I looked. In the past when she was angry she would call me a ‘skinny faggot’. I didnt want to stay on steroids though because I know the longterm health implications and risks. FL doesnt have much substance anymore so when I saw that I knew our time was soon to be over.  She is like most handbag/botox basics - they like guys who are on steroids but don’t ever want you to admit you are on them. 

Im not a professional cyclist or athlete so I don’t need to dope to compete with other dopers. My income isnt based on my physique like those fake natty people so I don’t need to dope to have that ‘aesthetic look’ like they do.

FL needs to stop the botox and stop lying. NOBODY in LA now wants to be associated with her publically. If she called up shane dawson, trisha, those 19 year old botox twins etc none of them would return her call or they would give some flakey LA based reasoning for them being ‘too busy’ or ‘Id love to but actually my camera is broken darling!’. She is the one who changed, I stayed the same. Sure Ive made my mistakes but Im the first person to come clean and put those mistakes up on youtube. 

FL? How about you do a video one day coming clean?