#THEYRE SO COPE… SOBS

[br3adtoasty]

when i am crazy and say 💓 birdeye or ❣️ kiss on tha hand/finger for bonnelia😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎

ask game here!

Is it just me or did Bonnie’s cheeks get redder? Who knew dolls could blush…

[baeshijima]

no one touch me

im going insane over the s1 vs s2 load screens

[lvminisciel]

LAST REBLOG OMGGGGG TWST POKEMON AU AAAAAAAHHHHH GYM LEADER RIDDLE!!! I WILL NOT SHUT UP ABT IAUWHSJSJDKFKF IT'S SO GOOD SO BEAUTIFUL SO INTERESTING AAAAAAAA THE CONCEPT THE ROLES THE POKEMONS THE EVERYTHINGGGGGGGGGG

I LOVE EVERY SINGLE BITS OF IT I HOPE THE OP WOULDN'T BE ANNOYED OF MY YAPPING CZ I AM!!! THAT INTERESTED!!!! AND INTRIGUES OMGGGG THEY JST MADE MY WHOLE DAY ITS AWSOMEEEEW

[url0calpr0sh1tt3r]

saying “that’s a fair assumption” with gritted teeth rn

[clownery-and-fuckery]

Alright buckle up here's my actual genuine reaction....

First episode:

First of all, I regret asking for more Hemlock, this was fantastically awful, I will not be recovering.

Second of all, that shaved clone has done things to me. Horrible, horrid things that made me actually pause it and look away. It made me physically ill, it was the worst. Great, but the worst.

The passage of time really did fucking get to me BUT HER LITTLE PONYTAIL UGH

crosshair..... I need a moment

EMERIE !!!! CANT STAND HER !!!!!!!!!!! SNITCH ASS BITCH

I literally don't care that she was allowed to keep the doll, btw. I dont give a shit. I hope Emerie dies in a fire.

nala se.... ew............

I think the whole episode was just pure horror, it was so fucking disgusting to watch, idk about you guys but watching the clone who had probably faced the true horror of SCI-FI warfare crying alone in his cell genuinely had me pausing the episode. Really great work there, Jennifer, I will be billing you for my therapy

Crosshair and Omega bonding !!! The little "What's your mission objective" was definitely a tactic he used on his brothers to have them pay attention, I refuse to acknowledge that he's the youngest, he just isn't. That's big brother keeping his little brother(s) on task behaviour.

Everything about Hemlock gave me chills. I love him. I hate him. I hope his guts cover the screen. I am fascinated by him.

I had a sneaking suspicion Emerie was taken under Hemlock's wing, and her undoing will be her endless loyalty to him... they did not have to say it as obviously as that, though. Glad they did.

Crosshair is sick. There is no way you show us all these sick, dying clones then Crosshair and expect us not to figure that out. He's going to die. His shaking is just the first symptom. I am not ready.

I definitely have more smaller notes I will make once I am not sobbing hysterically about it !!!!

Episode two!!:

This is the one that made me cry, actually.

Watching Wrecker and Hunter march in, quiet and covered in countless injuries, made me so sad. I couldnt recognise them. Those aren't my lads.

Wrecker begging hunter not to go because people didn't make it back.... hunter I get you're desperate, but you will NOT survive another brother being killed. I can't bear to watch him tear himself apart and neither can Wrecker.

WEEPED LIKE AN ACTUAL BABY WHEN I SAW THOSE CLONE BABIES.... THEYRE TOO YOUNG.

"99ers???" THERES FUCKING MORE ??????? I want to know the lore behind this line particularly.

Theyre so cute..... they're so CUTE ugh sedate me immediately

THE WAY HUNTER WAS LOST AT THE START BTW WITH THE TECH AND HE WAS GETTING FRUSTRATED AND HE IMMEDIATELY LOOKED TO OMEGAS STUFF AND LET HIS GRIP LOOSEN ON THE DATAPAD HE WSS THINKING OF HIS YOUNGEST TWO SIBLINGS I WILL NEVER FUCKING RECOVER DAVID AND JENNIFER LET THEM BE HAPPY !!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyways that little fucker who was good with tech..... I see you. I love you.

They were so used to letting Tech do his thing.... they immediately moved to cover fire....... for a second they forgot it wasnt him, I'm weak

THE CRATE FROM S1 YOU HORRIBLE BASTARDS WHEN WILL YOU LET ME DIE

wrecker playing with the kids..... laughing with them....... ohh i will not cope when he dies.

Hes going to die, btw. In case you didn't know. I know. I am aware. I am unprepared. I dont want to discuss it.

PABU..... THEYRE GOING TO PABU WHEN I TELL YOU I SOBBED. MY MOTHER HAD TO HOLD ME. I WAS INCONSOLABLE FOR FIFTEEN WHOLE MINUTES!!!!!!

i cannot express my feelings for this episode.

Episode three!!!!!!:

I want that man. Yes, i do mean that masked man we saw for two seconds, I want him.

The Emperor had me actually screaming. I was so hyped. He scares me so bad.

Hemlock!!!!!! Evil !!!!!!!! CUNT !!!!!!!!!!!!

nala se was so obvious about her "Get tf out" speech..... why don't you say it louder, the whole fucking room couldn't hear you

The fucking timer. Chills. CHILLS.

Crosshair and Omega !!!! He was so unserious I love that

....sorry to all the lovers tho, have to say i DIED laughing at his "gUaRdS"

And the SCREAM he scrumpt when the door opened, who allowed that 😭😭 it was so fucking funny whbeisbwiba

They were so messy this entire ep, they're everything to me......

"Of course he did" DO YOU WANT ME TO FUCKING DIE ?!?!?!? WHO FUCKING GAVE YOU THE RIGHT CAUSE IT WASNT FUCKING ME

Crosshairs trigger finger shaking so bad he gave his position away....... that's a major fucking problem, isn't it? That's gonna bite him in the ass.

I want more of Hemlock having a damn tantrum, that was fantastic. Him this season has me in a chokehold. I can't wait to write more of him.

This entire season so far is amazing. I can't wait to watch more, there are so many more points I wanna make, I'm freaked. I'm so happy, I'm still crying, I can't wait I can't wait I can't wait !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Making more coherent thoughts about them soon <3

[neotomiccccc]

All Saints Street Infection Au!

I know I cant be the only one whose tiktok fyp is full of mlp infection videos atm and if theres one thing i love its SMASHING my interests together like theyre fucking cymbals SO HERES THE FIRST POST OF MY WSJ VIRUS/APOCALYPSE AU...

The breakdown is this:

A virus breaks out which can affect humans and monsters alike. There is no known cure except for swift amputation of the infected area. Once a certain amount of time has passed, it's too late for this to happen, and the diseased will slowly succumb to a mutated state, before finally death.

Angels, for the first few weeks of the viruses existence, are found to be naturally immune to the disease. It's theorised that this is because of their purifying properties.

Neil is infected with the disease by the fourth week since the outbreak, and by week five is in the middle stages. He hasn't told anyone out of fear, and also out of denial and the belief he'll just get better. He doesn't. At some point, he struggles to hide his symptoms anymore and Lily is the one to discover his infection. Together they make the difficult decision that Lily will have to kill Neil as an act of mercy before he gets any worse and becomes dangerous. Lynn hears Lily crying, and finds her sobbing over Neil's body. The two return to camp and are forced to tell Nick what happened - they are unable to bring Neil back with them because of the infection risk.

Lily has taken the role of defending the makeshift camp from the mutated late-stage diseased. She is ambitious, but Neil's death is traumatic for her and she often finds her brain foggy and dull where she used to be concentrated and sharp. After a small injury, Lynn begs and even forbids Lily from fighting off the diseased until she is fully healed, but Lily can't cope with the thought of putting more people, especially her brother, in danger by not fighting. While defending the base, Lily becomes overwhelmed and while her death is brutal, it is at the very least, swift.

Nick is bitten on the lower leg very early on, and Lynn has to amputate in order to stop the disease from spreading. This is successful, but it does leave Nick with a severe disadvantage. Despite this, he is very resourceful, a fast thinker and a great resource at the base. After Neil's death, he goes into denial, partially blaming himself for not keeping a closer eye on his little brother. As time goes on, the nightmares and dreams about Neil become too much for him, and he almost stops sleeping altogether. This only furthers his worsening mental health, and he slowly becomes more impulsive and aggressive.

Lynn originally served as a medic and healer for the group, being the one to deal with wounds and examine potential infections. Despite being the most calm and put-together individual at the start of the outbreak, he suffers a brutal downfall. Shortly after the news comes out that the virus has mutated so that angels are no longer immune, Lynn loses the vast majority of his wings to a mutant - and only a few days after, Lily is killed in a similar incident. After losing Lily and suffering severe physical and psychological trauma, Lynn is reduced to a state where he very rarely speaks or does anything other than stare off into the distance. Nick and he still spend a lot of time together despite this, even if there is not much conversation to be had.

Characters that I haven't drawn in this AU yet:

Abu's anxieties become his saviour - by barricading himself in his own shelter and rarely leaving, Abu manages to survive despite minor injuries through sheer isolation. This does mean however, that he is needed more and more as others begin to succumb to the illness. Will he be able to overcome his fear, or is it better to stay holed up until a cure is found?

Ira gets infected during the fifth week, but the virus goes unnoticed in him for quite a while, as he does not show regular symptoms and is a bit of an anomaly. He also does not know he has been infected until he begins to lose himself. By the time Ira knows what's happening, he's already too far gone.

Damao is infected by a stray dog very early into the outbreak. He quickly notices his body beginning to rot and fearing for the safety of his friends, he runs away and goes into hiding. The next time the group sees damao, he has to fight for internal control in order not to hurt anyone, and does so for just enough time for the group to escape. The time after that, the group run into a horribly mutated monster that barely resembles a canine anymore.

Luis is confused at first about his potential immunity - he's already a zombie, but as it would seem, this virus is a different beast entirely, so he's not as immune as he thought. He manages to last a while, despite losing several body parts, but he too eventually is infected by a mutant, and transforms before the group.

Momo was one of the first to be infected, catching the virus from a stray cat. She is the reason that the group realise the severity and true horror of the virus - seeing her mutilated state is enough to convince anyone to abandon the city and run for a rural area to go into hiding.

Crystal is tough and is used to fighting. She doesn't hesitate to put mutants out of their misery, even though their screams haunt her later. By virtue of her toughness and perseverance, she is able to be one of the few survivors, but she struggles to deal with the amount of blood on her hands, even if she knows it was the only thing she could have done.

[didishawn]

hiii, i've been reading ur work for awhile and theyre SO GOOOODDD, and so i just wanted to request a pedri x reader based on the song (set fire to the rain - adele) with good ending pls, the rest u can add anything u want!! Thank youu

Set fire to the rain (Pedri x Reader)

Warnings: angsty with happy ending, the two of you are honestly a bit toxic I suppose, some Spanish

Masterlist

Pedri is everything you have ever wanted, a true blessing who came into your life out of nowhere after you had just come out of a toxic relationship, your ex-boyfriend having cheated on you with the one who dared to call herself your best friend.

You had met on a club, your other friends having taken you out to drink away your sorrows, his teammates having basically forced him to go. He found you on the back alley, sobbing, took it into his own hands to make you smile again, with time becoming a close friend, a confidant until the truth couldn't be denied anymore and he conferessed on a storm day and kissed you under the rain.

Everything was perfect, seemed taken out of a fairytale, you going to his matches wearing his shirt, his family adored you, the same with yours, friend groups taking the other in.

But dating a football player, a celebrity if you will is never easy when everyone always have something to say and a loss seems like the end of the world.

Things become tense, injuries, bad matches, he is stressed and you look for a way to help, but nothing seems enough, fights behind closed door, once more using alcohol as coping mechanisms.

After a particular hard loss, everything just seemed to break, you honestly thought it was the end.

"¿Por qué no puto entiendes que tus palabras no me sirven de nada?" he had shouted at you when you tried to console it "Es inútil, solo me hace quererte perderte vista, no te aguanto de verdad" (why don't you fucking understand your words mean, nothing? It's useless, only makes me want to get you out from my sight, I really can't stand you)

He knew his words were wrong, but he wouldn't take them back, it all turned into a screaming match concluding in you picking up your stuff and leaving his home, Fer meeting your eye, apologies in his brother's behalf that you both knew meant nothing.

Days passed by, you completely ignoring him yet never being able to block him, you didn't want to see him, you knew it was him knocking on your front door, but refused to open.

It wasn't until your friends once more took you out to drink your sorrows away taht you saw him again, your eyes instantly meeting his over the sea of people, your presences always pulling in the other.

You were always meant to be.

It was a rainy day like the one you had your first kiss, you had gone out, to the back alley like the day you had met he of course followed, neither seemed to care about the rain.

No words were needed, his lips were on yours, body embracing yours to share his warmness, under the heavy, pouring rain, apologies were spoken and promises made.

[sand-boxed]

echo is such a good character. theoretically at least. actually the definition of wasted potential hes the most interesting member of cf99 and hes barely in the show im sobbing.

i wish there was actual buildup to echo leaving or something showing his dissatisfaction with being in the batch. like something about having to kill his brothers, or even with the whole being sold as a droid thing which i know its a haha funny bit but that shit was actually so fucked up ???? we dont talk about that one enough that was so insane of hunter 😭😭 if u think abt his backstory then it makes more sense but theres barely anything in his behavior that suggests conflict with his own goals and the interests of his team by the time he leaves. ig its also one of the issues is that the show doesnt have enough time. maybe echo should have left later on in the show or something but i can also think of some midder episodes that are just hunter and omega but again that could have been replaced to give this guy or wrecker some actual characterization. no shade to them ( kinda bc most of the best episodes are the ones where theyre not there) but save some for the rest of us bc they dont need half the show do they

also istg they (writers and the batch ) forgot echo used to be a "reg" i feel like its so strange for the batch to be all pissy abt reg clones and have a weird superiority complex early on in the show when like. echo is there he was once one of them and now hes not. theres so much the writers could have done to tackle echos feelings abt being othered by the reg clones and inadvertently ostracized by his team. theres so much he probably sees different from thebatch bc of their separate upbringings where echo was part of a collective and the batch were singled out as individuals. does he view killing other clones in a different light bc he was also the type to follow orders blindly once??? how does he feel abt the chips as a pow that spent around a year unable to control his thoughts, having his mind stolen from him??

something i wanted for his character was for him to have a connection pre-citadel that he loses during his time being frozen bc he would have to cope with that loss and adapt to the batch at the same time. yes this is another excuse for me to talk abt fives but who else. echo doesnt talk to anyone except him in basically every scene b4 the citadel. echo feeling messed up abt it bc just all of a sudden his world has been turned upside down and all he can do is move on. thats absolutely terrifying to think about bc the war has taken away most of everyone hes ever known. there was no goodbye, nothing for him, they were just here one moment and gone the next for him. too bad we dont get to see any of it lmaoooo

[fandomrouletteburrito]

Thinking about how in Tsubasa after reading the entire story how it changes how you feel about all the arcs. Spoilers for the ending and Nirai Kanai and xxxHolic below

There is no happiness in the way the arcs end especially once they reach Tokyo end, there is a sense of completeness but never like: ah yes we are happy now.

The best they get is a sense of satisfaction at having reached the goal and saving people but you know the final goal could potentially take decades and is seemingly endless and that is daunting for the cast.

And once shit starts hitting the fan theres nothing but tragedy after tragedy, the loss of Syaoran, Fai’s near death, Sakura’s loneliness and powerlessness, Kurogane’s anxiety for the other shoe to drop, the ENTIRETY OF CELES, knowing theyre all trying to cope as best as they can but every world they’ve visited since Tokyo has only faced a massacre in Clone!Syaoran’s wake and how traumatizing it is and the pain of knowing he would never do it if he was in control. Not to mention Clone!Syaoran’s inner conflict of knowing deep down he loves Sakura but despite the soul he made it takes losing her WATCHING her DIE to finally bring him to the front however briefly it is.

And in the final end, Clone!Sakura and Clone!Syaoran remain in a state of limbo, kind of dead if we’re being brutally honest.

Like Tsubasa isn’t a story of a happy ending, it’s literally just coping with tragedy and loss. And I think this is what makes me love it so much, that yes all four survived but the cost was two main characters. Its not a satisfying ending, its just tragic, after suffering so much and setting everything right and even being able to live in the original timeline, the two beings that helped them survive this long don’t get to be in this happy ending. Syaoran sacrified his parents, his childhood, his freedom, his time, his chance at a normal life and he still doesn’t get to be with his Sakura all the time. Clone! Syaoran himself said there was a timeline where Sakura and Syaorn can never be together and the knowledge that there was going to be an even worse timeline is so horrific after all that suffering…

And if we want to get into Nirai Kanai, I think this is the only part of Tsubasa I outright sobbed, the cruelty of Syaoran SEEING Clone!Syaoran or his father and needing to FIGHT him and him STAYING DEAD, was so painful. How much Syaoran didn’t want to do it but he had no choice. Not to mention Watanuki had to do the same with Yuuko to help Syaoran(they really do be the same person huh?)

[underoospeterparker]

i thought of another peter sutherland request while i was sending u the other one 😭 peter and neurodivergent reader? only if u feel comfortable writing that obviously! maybe she gets overstimulated/overwhelmed by something theyre both working on and starts to have a panic attack and he helps her breathe thru it and calm down…lots of cuddles because puppy loves to give cuddles. i also think puppy is such a cute pet name for him bc he’s literally a puppy

hi baby! i've actually never written for a neurodivergent reader so I'm not sure if this is written right, and i don't personally have any experience! but i've done some research & i hope this is okay:) if you could let me know what you think that would be great, i can write it again with your feedback if you hate it, lol! but otherwise I hope you enjoy it<3 also, if you could give me feedback that would be great, even if you do like it!

tw: please don’t read if you feel triggered by panic attacks described in detail

(reader has ADHD - attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder)

✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°

"baby, you okay?" peter's worried eyes met yours. snapping out of your daydream, you nodded lightly.

"sorry, jus' got a bit distracted," you murmured quietly, a faint blush of embarrassment coating your cheeks. your hand impulsively grabbed his index finger, anxious. peter let you play with his fingers, knowing it was one of your coping mechanisms. oh, he was the most supportive boyfriend. he was always there to listen, so deeply understanding and comforting when you got lost in your own world. it made you feel all tingly and happy, and you laughed quietly under your breath. peter's eyes brightened at the soft sound, however unexpected it was. "i'm sorry, what were you saying?"

he blinked, lost in his own thoughts, then started talking again. "hmm," he sighed, pulling you closer to him. "just that we have to stay here for a bit, at least until we know it's safe again."

safe. that word again. it was never safe, whatever you tried or did, and it was, was so difficult. all you wanted was a normal life. a normal life with peter, and it made you so mad, so annoyed, it was so sad to think that it was somehow wrong for you to want to have that life with him when you could be saving people, but you wanted it, you wanted it so badly it hurt.

peter noticed you getting worked up again, as you were squeezing his fingers too tight. he never complained. "sweetheart," he murmured. you sat up quickly, too quick from his chest, eyes already welling up.

your breathing grew too fast, too fast to be normal and everything was moving too fast and it was too much, too much. your breaths became shorter and more frequent, hands still clutching peter’s, squeezing, because you couldn’t breathe, couldn’t breathe, and it was too loud-

tears fell quickly down your cheeks. “shhh,” peter cooed lightly. your sobs were making it even harder to breathe. your boyfriend recognised the signs of your panic attack, trying to calm you down as best as he could. “it’s okay, sweetheart, just breathe with me.” you tried your best to follow his instructions, hiccuping slightly. “in, and out. deep breaths.”

you tried doing one, and you couldn’t, it was too tight around your throat. your eyes welled up even further. “it’s okay. we can try again,” he murmured, eyes filled only with concern and love for you. you nodded, unable to speak. “slowly, breathe in, and out.” taking a deep breath, you filled air into your lungs, and you felt this overwhelming surge of relief rush through you. “there you go, that’s my good girl,” peter praised, a small smile forming on his face, reassuring you everything was okay. “a few more, okay?”

after you had calmed down, you asked quietly, “can i have a hug, please?”

“of course, baby.” you fell into your boyfriend’s open arms, head resting on his shoulder. he nuzzled the top of your head with his chin, hands rubbing your back lightly.

and that was when you you knew that whatever happened, you would always be safe. because you were with him.

[manias-wordcount]

hiya! i really love your writing and i was wondering if you could do something about ramuda amemura w/ a s/o that lacks self worth/is struggling with mental health issues? they would be a lot like him as well, except they put on a lot of different sides for diff people/groups of people, and their true self is still unknown to them cause of the self manipulation, but theyre a rather soft hearted, kind, and insecure person in general. theyve had a long a rocky past, from being verbally/physically abused by parents, to being excluded at school. theyre also quite good at bottling up their emotions as well, so maybe the scene would start in the middle of a silent panic attack? (although he can tell cause mutual trust and dating for a while) if you arent comfy w/ this, i completely understand (its just a silly rq to help me cope im sorry dndbdjdnd), so please dont pressure yourself! ty for your time and have an amazing day/night!

Just Breathe (Ramuda Amemura x Reader)

𝗔/𝗡: 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗴𝗼!

𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚!!! 𝗱𝗲𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗱 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗮 𝗽𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗰 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗸. 𝘃𝗮𝗴𝘂𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝘀𝗼𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹, 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗹, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘂𝗺𝗮. 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗰𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻

𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚? ⇒ 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

𝙟𝙤𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙧?

𝙗𝙪𝙮 𝙢𝙚 𝙖 𝙘𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙚?

When you feel like you’re dying, you don’t like to be touched. 

  Even when you start to tremble. Even you feel find yourself silently slinking out of the room with your breaths running short and your eyes growing wide. Even as your heart beats and beats and  beats  against your chest as you look for a quiet place to hide away and exist. Even as your vision starts to blur with tears and you become dizzier and dizzier until the second you’re able to fall onto the ground. And  especially  when you start to grow scared. When you start to grow confused. When you start to  choke , you don’t like to be touched. You can’t be touched. You don’t  want  to be touched. You don’t want that to die. But you don’t want that to be the thing that kills you either.

  And yet…

  “Deep breath in…”

  …you still choose to let him in.

  “...deep breath out. And again. Here we go-”

  Most of the time, you could listen to Ramuda talk and hum and sing to you all day long. Oddly enough, this is one of those times. But as you sit on the hard pavement of a random back alleyway in Shibuya, tucked in between trashcans and forgotten pieces of junk, you find that no matter how hard you try, you just can’t focus. You just can’t  breathe . And you’re trying. You’re trying really, really, really,  really  hard to. You want to do what he says. You want to feel better. You don’t want to make him feel worried for you. But it’s  hard . It’s  hard,  and you hate it. You hate it, and you’re  scared . You’re scared, and you don’t want to  die.  

  It’s fear that boils up first in moments like these. Fear that hits you heavy and hits you hard as it overpowers all else in your mind overflowing so, so  much . Anger and Sadness fight to be tasted. Two strong flavors. Two strong emotions. They fight for who is next behind fear. They fight for who is more powerful. In the moment. For all time. But exhaustion? Exhaustion waits its turn. It has laid claim to the aftertaste. Soon it will lay claim to you. And right after? You know it won’t be death. You know it won’t be. 

  But it feels that way. 

  It feels like it’ll be something close to death. It feels like something worst than terror and nightmares itself. It feels that way so, so much right now. That you’re going to die in just a second. That you’re going to gasp on your last exhale. Choke on your inhale. Tears will be streaming down your face, but your body feels too warm, your heart beats too fast, and your body shakes too much, and you’ll  die.  Right here, and right now. With your hands in his. And his hands and yours. 

  You sob.

  “ Shh, shh…it’s okay,”  In an instant, Ramuda is shushing you. Your cries are quiet. You’ve learned to hide your tears well. You knew you would be punished if you did anything else. But that last cry cuts through the air like a knife. It pains you so. It squeezes at your throat with the stress. It squeezes at your heart with the fear. And then before you know it, it swallows up your everything in silence once more. To hide your emotions. To cover up your fears. And to do so much more. “We’ll get through this. We have each other. So breathe with me, okay?”

  You want to. You want to tell him that too. You want to tell him how you want nothing more but to breathe out the same air he fills his lungs with. You want to tell him how you want to follow his every order- his every direction- because you know much he cares for you. You want to.

  But a quiet sob mixed in between a deep inhale is all you can muster. A pitiful sound. Nothing short of a mere hiccup as your lips try to move. They try to make a sound. And when it doesn’t work out the first time, they try again. And again. And again. And again until all they can do is part in desperation to let out another cry. 

  Somehow your abusers of times past have claimed your tongue as their own. 

They’ve silenced you. They’ve silenced you and they’re not even here. They’ve silenced you and they haven’t paid for it yet. For your pain. For your suffering. For their sins. For their transgressions.

  You deserve better than this. You deserve more than this.  Words so easy to say. Words so hard to  mean . You can’t convince yourself of that message. You can’t promise yourself that you weren’t meant to be hurt. But that’s the thing. You don’t want to hurt. You don’t want to die. You don’t want this to be the end. You don’t want to choke. You don’t want to cry. You want to breathe. You want to smile. You want peace, not suffering. You want laughter, not anger. Your happiness, not sadness. But most of all?

  “Another deep breath in. We’ll be okay. I promise we’ll be okay.” 

  You hold your hands in his. He holds your hands in yours. You want him instead. 

  “I’ll do my best to protect you, I swear. So just breathe with me, alright?”

  You want him instead.

   It takes a couple of seconds, but you manage to nod your head, and you can almost  feel  the encouraging smile he offers you in exchange. Somewhere in the blurry mess of your vision, you’re able to see one of the only people to ever matter in your life. He speaks to you gently in this moment. He teaches you how to breathe in the same voice he sings to you in. You still feel like you’re dying. But the feeling is starting to ebb and flow with each word he says. With each breath he takes. Sometimes it’s there. Sometimes it’s not. Sometimes you’re afraid. Sometimes you’re not. Sometimes you’re happy. Sometimes angry. Sometimes you’re sad. Sometimes you’re a whole lot of things.

  But for now, you’re doing your best to breathe while Ramuda is doing his best to talk you down from the same bridge to hell that you’ve found him traversing on as often as you do. You’re still a lot of things right now. He’s still a lot of things too. But for now, you'll hold your hands in his. And he’ll hold your hands in yours. You have a long way to go to escape all of your pain. A long, long, long way. But if heaven is a place on earth for the two of you to witness?  Well…

  “Just breathe.”

  …you hope he sings you a song as the two of you drag each other along. 

  You hope more than anything. 

[halucynator]

OH MY GOD you love alexa and katie???? no because i rarely see anyone talks about that show *screams* i don’t know why i didn’t put that on my list, i used to be obsessed with it (the ending made me sob honestly). quick question, if you don’t mind, what’s your favorite ship from the show? <3

(sorry i went insane for a bit here 😭)

Hiii!! Yessss it's my comfort show xx I resonate so well with Alexa BC she's so reckless and reminds me of myself as a child lmao I used to be THE craziest kid and I honestly dk how my parents coped with me (sorry I'm slowly starting to digress)

I watch it whenever I'm sad and yes I have re-watched it multiple times and yes I still cry every single time at the ending lols I also re-watched it multiple times because PARIS BERELC IS SO GODDAMN GORGEOUS?!?! I love Isabel May as well they're both like so prettyyyy 😭😭

My favourite ship from the show is probably Aiden and Katie but omfg Spencer and Alexa is like tied with it (maybe even like #1) I also used to like Alexa and Dylan but like Alexa and Spencer is like the best bc they can like trauma bond and like Spencer understands her and how annoying it is and I find it so cute that Alexa got so annoyed bc people were calling him cancer boy 😭😭 AJSGAVAB

THEYRE SO CUTE TOGHETER WHAT

Anywaysss, what's yours?

(sorry I get really passionate about shows and end up writing like so much for a simple question lmao)

[im-gonna-squeet]

I still dont know who you are, I only know that I'm still lonely chap 2

Donnie has a bit of a late night breakdown, but all is well when they take care of their family, and theyre rewarded with twin cuddles (chap. 1)

Donnie couldn't sleep.

They should be excited. But they just felt numb. It's not fair.

Just a few hours ago they were fine. They were so excited! Happy!

But now they can barely feel anything.

Whilst they struggled with identifying emotions, they still felt them, in fact they were a rather emotional person, so it was very noticable when they were gone. And they didn't know what to do.

This has happend throughout their entire life, but has become far more frequent since The Technodrome.

You would think that having an issue for your entire life would mean youre able to cope with that issue. Especially having a sibling as well-versed in psychology and emotions as Michael is. But apparently, that isn't how it works.

Having awful emotional permanence surely didnt help. It's very hard to keep a diary of your feelings when you forget about them immediately after you stop feeling them. Which makes it really hard to ask for help.

Emotions are exhausting and confusing, but Donnie thought they preferred having them to not.

The only time they didn't want to feel was after Shelldon... NOPE! No. He's back. Hes ok. Hes alive. No need to go back there ever again.

They decided to go and get a drink... and maybe check on Shelldon on the way. And their siblings. And Papa. But only because they couldn't sleep, and they were heading that way anyways.

They swung their legs over the side of their bed to get up, realising their mistake a moment too late.

"SHIT!" They exclaimed as they fell to the floor, legs unable to hold their full weight.

They covered their eyes with their palms as they let out a shaky breath.

Fuck.

Why do rhey keep forgetting about that.

They let out a quiet sob as tears started to wet their palms and the shock made their emotion flood back. Desperately trying to comfort themself, they pulled their knees to their chest, grabbing their plesiosaur plush from their bed and holding it close, burying their face into the well-loved stuffed animal.

Its not fair. Its not fucking fair. They just wsnted to be a normal-ish teenager. Sure, they can still technically do most of the things they used to be able to do. But it was diffrrent. Which meant that they were different. And they didnt like change.

They cant skateboard anymore, and they might never be able to again. They loved skateboarding.

Logically, they knew that with their enhanced healing, they would more likely recover than not, but it had been a fucking year and they'd made barely any progress.

And sure, their family were very accommodating and understanding, but they didn't get it. Not in the way Donnie needed them to.

It made them angry, and they hated themself for it. Because its not their fault.

They would never want anyone to see what they saw, to feel what they felt. But it just sucked sometimes. It was so isolating and lonely. They just wanted someone to understand. To really, truly know them. To listen to them and go 'yeah, i get it'.

But they never would.

Because if The Technodrome was to be beleived, and they see no reason why she would lie, nobody else had seen what she showed them. Or if they did, they didnt survive to tell their story.

But they all went through horrific trauma that night. Raph was literally mind controlled and Leo was trapped in the prison dimension with Prime for fuck's sake! There was no way they were talking about this and risking bringing back those memories, they wouldn't do that to them. No matter how painful and isolating it was.

They stayed there for a little longer, breathing deep, shaky breaths and listening to their own heartbeat.

Now they really needed a drink.

Thankfully, they had created a new, more comfortable battle shell for prolonged use. Though it wasnt really a battle shell more like a get-around-the-lair shell. They kept it next to their bed so they could put it on when they woke up.

After taking a second to put their glasses on, they put their battle shell on, securing it.

They released the spider arms and made their way to the door (after tucking in the plesiosaur plush, of course).

The kitchen light was on when they got there, which wasn't surprising as the others tended to forget to turn them off after getting snacks.

Donnies hands shook slightly as they took out a glass from the cupboard, then the cordial from thr cupboard below it. The shaking persisted as they made their drink and put the cordial away. Thry took a sip. Then another. Then downed the whole thing. They hadn't realised just how thirsty they were.

They left the glass in the sink, far too exhausted to wash it right now.

Since Papa's room was closest, they decided to check on hin first, then Raph, then Mikey, and then check on Leo & Shelly at the other end.

Their dad always left his door open at night so that he could hear his children and they could hear him. Donnie stuck their head through the door and listened out for a moment, some of the tightness in their chest dissipating as they heard him snore. They didn't feel the need to check any further and turned to their next destination.

As they approaced Raph's room, they could already hear her snoring, but decided to go in and check on her anyway. Walking further in, they saw that Raph had dropped a couple of her stuffed animals in her sleep, and took moment to put them back properly.

Pulling the blanket over her a little more, they gently stroked the side of her head with their thumb, snoothing out the creases in her brow. Once Raph had settled down and started to smile slightly, Donnie got up and made their way out of the room and towards Mikeys, feeling lighter than before.

Mikey was a very quiet sleeper, so Donnie couldn't hear anything outside of his room.

Making their way in, Donnie made sure to tidy Mikeys desk whilst still leaving everything out and in view so he didnt forget about anything.

Mikey was sound asleep in his bed, completely sprawled out with the blanket tied up in ways Donnie wasnt sure they could do if they tried. Nevertheless, they managed to free Mikey from the blanket without waking him – thank you extra arms – and lay it over him instead so he didn't get cold.

They stayed for a moment longer, just watching him breathe, until they felt secure enough to leave him alone. It was truly incredible how much calmer they felt now compared to when they first got up.

Donnie, Leo, and Shelldon all had rooms on the opposite side of the layer, with theirs on the end closest to their lab, and Shelldons between them and Leo.

Leos room was on that side because of twin reasons. As much as they loved to make fun of eachother and get in dumb fights, they really were part of eachother. If either one needed any sort of comfort or help, the other – no matter how angry they may be, will always be there for them. They understood eachother like nobody else. And they will do anything to keep it that way.

Gently pushing open the door to Leos room, they made their way over to his bed. Leaving the haphazardly stacked comic books just the way he likes them. From the looks of it, Leo had fallen asleep on his phone, so Donnie made sure to put it on charge, gently removing Leos mask and fixing his blanket. But Leo was a much lighter sleeper than everyone else, and opened his eyes, blinking a few times before letting out a scratchy "Tello?"

Shit.

"Yeah, its me, Lee, sorry for waking you Ill-"

They were cut off by Leo gently grabbing the sides of their face, his face scrunching up in concern, " 'v you been crying?"

They cringed. Ah. Right. They didnt wash their eyeliner off. God they probably looked like such a mess right now. "Yeah, im- im- im okay now though. Go back to sleep."

Leo grabbed their hand and pulled gently, clearly inviting them to join him.

"Sigh. Alright, fine, but I have to go check on Shelldon first, ill be right back. Promise." They gave Leo a kiss on the head and stood to leave after he nodded.

Well, they were spending the night in Leos room now, they supposed. They were grateful for it to be honest, they didnt really want to be on their own right now.

As they entered Shelldon's room and saw the droid charging, they felt the last (biggest) bit of their anxiety melt away and they were so releived they could cry.

They quickly made their way to his bedside, lowering themself to kneel next to him.

Then they did start crying. He was there. Their son. Their baby. Safe and comfortable and alive. They gently caressed his face and neck, careful not to wake him. Leaning over, Donnie gently kissed him on the top of his head. He's right there. And he's okay.

Donnie stayed there for a few minutes, just watching him. They wanted desperately to hold him. To take him in their arms and never let go. To make sure nothing can never harm him ever again. But they didnt want to wake him.

Soon enough, they felt almost all of their anxiety leaving them, so they left back to Leos room.

When they got back, Leo wasnt asleep, and was clearly trying very hard to stay that way.

Donnie sat down on the edge of his bed where Leo cleared the blankets for them. They took their battle shell off very carefully so they didnt hit Leo and placed it next to the bed. Then they took their glasses off and put them on the bedside table before moving themself to lie next to Leo, resting their head on his bicep and wrapping their arms around him. "G'night. Love you." Leo managed to get out before immediately passing out. "Night Leo, I love you too." Donnie replied, feeling warm and safe and secure for the first time that night before they joined their beloved twin in sleep.

reblogs > likes

[sphylor]

sphy im literally sobbing over here this is so raindrop they love each other so much I can't cope😭

SHUT UPPP Rain looking after his sleepy boyfriend and making sure hes okay and well groomed aaaaaa theyre so gross and in love

[weebsinstash]

You: WAAAAAAA OFFICER THEYRE BOOLYING ME BACK AFTER I CALLED THEM A CUNT A BILLION TIMES, FATHERLESS/MOTHERLESS, SAID THEY DESERVED TO BE RAPED, SAID I HOPE THEY DIE, TOLD THEM TO KILL THEMSELVES, THREATENED TO HARM THEM (I have screenshots of you literally physically threatening me btw) CALLED THEM A LOSER, USED ABLEIST INSULTS CALLING AN ACTUAL AUTISTIC PERSON THE R WORD (which is REAL harassment and discrimination btw), CALLED THEM EVERY INSULT IMAGINABLE, CALLED THEM A HYSTERICAL WOMAN/ACTUAL MISOGYNISTIC INSULTS WAAAA ARREST THEM PLS OFFICER

Officer, a sane rational person: Erm ok if it bothers you that much have you considered apologising for what you said, or at least not insulting them anymore? Have you considered closing your ask box or deleting your blog if it bothers you that much? Have you considered that writing literal rape/stalker porn romanticizing abusers on a mainstream site is a controversial genre that many people will find offensive and want you to stop doing, have you considered stopping that or moving to a site specifically for that? Uh, no, you want to be able to say whatever you want to someone then cry if they do anything back or want to meet up with you irl to talk things out instead of online? Oh they said they were at a house you admit isn't yours and also you admit you knew it was fake and weren't scared? Uh sorry can't help you there ma'am please stop wasting our time

Have you considered that not a single person gives a fuck because you literally started bothering me forst

"Wow you shouldn't have been writing something controversial on a mainstream site" honey if someone writing porn online is what upsets you so bad you'll never succeed in the real world. "Waaaah fake stories about fake events upset me, wahhhhh, wahhhh I'm gonna harass people for months because my feelings are hurt, wahhh"

I'm going to the police and you're coping. You've been harassing me for months nonstop. Even when I haven't interacted with you for months, answered you for months, you kept harassing me

You literally started this amd continue to act a fool. No one cares about you. We all think you're acting like a hysterical little puritan child.

Second, stupid cunt, you've sent multiple addresses around, including in my inbox

Does it bother you when I call you a cunt, because you clearly can't control your temper. Someone hurt your feelings one time and you literally made it your entire personality to bother me and still do. You're obsessed with getting my attention. You keep coming back for more

It is honestly so sad to see how you are thinking and what you are telling yourself to justify acting like a psychotic freak. Literally no one is on your side, not even your own mother would approve of this.

As if I care about the alleged sob story of an anonymous face who has been exclusively harassing me and my friends because... her little baby feelings were hurt, who has lied repeatedly, admitting to lying repeatedly, and has gone through pathetic, degrading humiliating feats, just to.... try and get under my skin

Take your father's cock out of your mouth and log off, Jesus Christ

[pekodayz]

🌟😍💋💐💕☕️

offic- *gunshot* all of these will be that thx u.....

🌟: Who’s the tease in the relationship?

neither. theres something about them that makes it hard to make sexual remarks. oso calls aini flat in front of 5 ppl, aini makes fun of his boner at work in front of them too. they both start awkwardly laughing. scratching their arm. whole office laughs at them. oaky.. aini takes her break, oso follows. they start blaming each other on who fucked up the hardest, that was so embarrassing for them. ig when theyre drunk, oso would prob feel aini, just a bit. they agree on 5 secs, he touches her thigh, she touches his thigh. they get red and stop, busting out laugh and screaming. they walk home in shame.

😍: Name your three favorite things about your f/o

aini likes that oso is taller than her (4-5 inches), so she can stand behind him when they get caught skipping work, so he can get the blame. ough. ok she likes it when he puts his chin on her shoulder while she's staring at her computer. dead eyes. shes not gonna make it obv. nagging her to work faster, bugging her to help him with smth, can u print this out for me, im tired. yeah yeah. aini also likes it when oso uh persuades her to skip work, she enjoys being out with him for a day (even if that means not going to work, she doesnt care...she likes the company. secretly) aini likes that oso's color is red, bc she likes red too. they were like omg coincidence, pointing at each other uwahhh omggeee. then they argue on who owns it. whomp whomp.

💋: Where are your favorite places to kiss your f/o/where are their favorite places to kiss you?

they haven't kissed on the lips oughh. oso only kissed aini's forehead when she was sobbing for some reason and they were hugging. uh. even that almost killed them both. aini kissed oso's cheek once, as a joke. tsundere mode activated ew. i think aini had a fav spot, it would be her neck. oso would love aini kissing him just anywhere. thats not happening tho for either of them....unless theyre like drunk. super duper duper duper rare moment maybe. then they freak out. cooties. ewwww. then theyll prob be like...okay one more...looking stupid. shaking and sweating (fear), then they pass out.

💐: How did you two meet?

answered here :3

💕: Who’s the clingier one in the relationship?

both of them. cuddle when theyre on the train. (none of their coworkers can see them)uh aini lays her head on oso's lap sometimes....he strokes her hair or smth ugh. (they think this is what close friends do. to cope) aini has oso come over, they cuddle there, privately. ew......theyre arguing tho, so its okay. balances it out.

☕: How do you comfort each other on a bad day?

when aini is like super sad, oso can tell. since shes putting up a fake smug front. shes sulking all day at work aw. then when theyre walking out together, she cant rly look at him in the eye. trying to not cry like a baby to him. shes choking up sobs.. then she does. slams her face into his chest and muffle cries. he just holds her as she sobs and he says somethings to her.. big brother instincts isuppose. aini gets all weak mode and holds his hand, sniffling and stuff.

aini sees oso is dif. she knows he doesnt really like to talk abt his feelings, so she just has some mutual understanding with him. he knows. he doesnt snap around her, they go out for drinks. she doesnt insult him at all, he feels better eventually. he'll tell her some other time...