#TV Sookie is fine

[fan-girl-moments]

Ohh...the amount of feelings I had the minute I finished watching Gilmore Girls... But some time has passed and overall I really think few first season were enjoyable. It gave me this comfy vibe of watching a TV show that you can just chill with. But then more situations happend that I just couldn’t comprehend.. Naming just a few: Rory and Dean having s*x while he was very much married, Richard and Emily acting all high & mighty around Lor’s who was very much capable of handling her own life. And...the ending for LANE KIM! I mean..wtf was that??? Hello?? LANE DESERVED BETTER STORYLINE !!!

[robin33r]

TAURTIS.

Taurtis isn't talked about enough. He's genuinely gotten drowned out and it's golly awful!!! Everyone's so focused on Sam and grian and their stuff taurtis gets drowned out.

Taurtis is such an anomaly and he is MORE than just some silly guy who's Sam's best friend. I'd argue he's just as bad or maybe even a tad bit worse. Hear me out.

Straight up at the beginning of the series, no one mentions (outside of like 2 people) that taurtis has killed someone and made it on TV while getting away with it. Bros the first murderer we see in the season revealed and hey, this can imply he's done it before and never gotten caught. Taurtis knows damn well how things are and id argue hes the result behind Sam's behavior. Not Yuki, while she did also heavily influence him, he did a lot more damage.

No one ever mentions ot though because he's just a "silly little guy"

Even from the start Taurtis has been seen making these decisions for Sam but the way they work is making it look like the others independent when I can argue they're both codependent on eachother in a way. Taurtis even convinces and forces the idea of Sam doing things for to a sense someone can see "for his (Sam's) own good" When Sam was in love with Sookie and found out she was into women, he was bummed out, however Taurtis was the one who suggested he could chop her up or get Sam to dress as a girl in which; he even protested at first and kept denying. Taurtis in the beginning had a small weird obsession with when things went wrong; they could resort to "chop chop" It is known and we all talk about Sam and Yuki being a yandere but what about Taurtis being one potentially? I know this can be diminished by the nice treatment Salex (I have a whole another yap session about salex and him and sam) The second Sam said he had no chance with Sookie, Taurtis asked about using force and deceiving to help get Sam what he wants. Also for whatever reason he has a TON of images of Sam on his phone canonically?? Am I the only one who's taking that into acc?

Sam is EASILY one of the most quick-to-influence characters in the series and can easily be manipulated, despite being described as a manipulator himself. And the person who's been with him the most in life and who's been living ALONE with for who knows what time? For Sam to having gone down the rabbit hole he is, the person who'd have tk influence that would have to be Taurtis. He encourages and excuses everything and I'd argue he even partakes in stuff in his own time. There's also the fact he has no problem hurting his own friends as well, he's CONSTANTLY being physical with Sam and he doesn't even care with Stabbing him off a building as a friendly gesture to a sense. There's also the fact he literally doesn't care if someone (coughs SAM) plays dress up with him whenever they want, it's fine its whatever right?? He could care less about that stuff

HOWEVER in the end he's still a teenager, he's a genuinely insecure teenager. It's not directly stated however it is very much implied with his reactions and interactions and his need/drive to impress others and for them to be impressed by and to want him. He almost needs people to need him and that's probably part of what makes him happy about Sam's codependency because he knows Sam needs Taurtis. Taurtis needs someone to need him, which is probably what started his infatuation with salex because she always praised and flirted with him and fueled his confidence; that's what he wants or "needs." That's part of where I think not only Sam but TAURTIS is also codependent in his own way. It's an eye for an eye. He gives what he wants and expects that to be given back in its own way. He's more than happy with being popular and having Sam do so much, hell that helps boost his confidence. He's got his own demands and we've seen instances where he makes Sam supply hjm or give him his own food (which my friend has pointed out that Sam's willing to even starve for taurtis if it meant taurtis could feel full/get what he wanted.) We see Taurtis even being insecure when Sam and Grian point things out (like when he went bald and how horrible it looked) and he instantly jumped on trying to find ways to quickly grow his hair back. He doesn't want that imperfection. He's quick to jump to conclusions too because when Sam makes a small comment he INSTANTLY retorts. (Example; "you have a great chewwy/ you'd be a great chewwy-chewbaca" "are you saying I'm hairy/fat???) He's still an insecure teenager, despite his popular and having someone straight up need him to be even the slightest bit okay, I dont think he'd willingly abandon that

I have so much more to say but rn this is what I'm giving, I could go into his relationship with Sam, his acts/interests, hus family and childhood but that's for another episode

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, Season 2, Episode 17, "Dead Uncles and Vegetables”, Part 4

There are about 7 minutes left in Dead Uncles and Vegetables, let's wrap this up. Emily got swept up in Sookie's wedding planning because she never had the opportunity to plan a wedding for Lorelai (of COURSE. why didn't that click for me? It's so obvious.) Emily lays on the passive-aggressiveness thickly, "I gave up on you having a wedding a long time ago", "If you ever do get married you're just going to have the wedding in this diner and serve burgers and fries to the guests", "Let me tell you about the wedding that I had always envisioned for you" yada yada yada, typical Emily shit. Despite this, Lorelai is still being unusually patient and reasaonble with her mother. I'm still not convinced she's feeling well.

And there it is.

Dirty. I mean, she did just leave work in the middle of the day to help him look at coffins. And apartments. Just gonna go on the record that the Luke/ Lorelai build up until the point they started going out was SOO GOOD (Teen Girl Squad voice) and then shortly after it finally happened, the magic quickly deflated like a popped balloon.

And then what, they broke up in season 6 and didn't get back together for good until the final 30 seconds of the last episode of the series? Am I remembering this correctly? It's been 3 years since I've bothered with the Yale/Logan/Insufferable Rory/Garbage Seasons. Sadly this is pretty typical in many tv series, the will they wont they is infinitely more satisfying than watching some boring couple have a relationship and get married and wash dishes together and shit. Lorelai is like "Luke did you feed Paul Anka" and he's like "Yeah" and she's like "Okay, can you pick up more dog food at Walmart? And don't forget to take the garbage out.". and Luke is like "Tomorrow's Wednesday, garbage day is Friday." I know you don't want to think about it too much, but the same thing would happen if Rory and Jess got married.

Don't get me started on the precious little I still remember from a Year In the Life.

Friends leave work in the middle of the day to help friends look at coffins for their uncles. Just friendly friend things.

Friends, friends, friendly friends, time to meet my friends!

Oh pity my dear Lucas. What kind of Therapist's Wet Dream did you just walk into?

A crystal clear #TomatosSign and a face that says it all.

Luke: "Whatever you say, mother of one of my customers."

LOL, that squint. You're thinking about killing her right now, aren't you Lorelai?

God help me, I love these two. In the conclusion of the episode, Lorelai is the only person to accompany Luke to Dead Louie's burial, which was awfully nice of her.

Stop! This is so tender. Luke worries that like Dead Louie one day he's going to die alone and nobody will come to his funeral. You're mind is clouded with grief Lucas, that's not you, you must be thinking of Dean Forrester. His own family won't come to his funeral. Clara might but she will kick his coffin. You'll be fine. Just had the thought that Jess is definitely going to be the one to plan his funeral but eh let's not dwell on that.

So am I. You're fine. Lorelai runs down all the ways Luke has showed up for her : Making Rory's birthday cake, helping her around the house, building her a chuppah, taking in Jess. Ugh I'm getting a misty eyed. I'm not used to this show inspiring such sappy feelings in me. The Convention of the Male Karens/War Re-Enactors who just spent several minutes yesterday reminding Luke that his uncle was a piece of shit and that they were happy to see him croak have shown up to send him off. Welcome to Stars Hollow where everyone you meet is a two faced phony. The sign welcoming you into the town says "Welcome to Stars Hollow. Trust no one." This must be the longest weekend ever because Rory has not gone to school in like 4 days.

Hippie has packed up his farmer's market. He tells Taylor he just grows the vegetables in his backyard as a hobby. He sold them off to make money for traveling. Taylor: If this was only temporary, why did you put me through all that hoo ha at the town meeting? Hippie: You bought it on yourself, Taylor. *calmly walks away* If we can't end the episode with Jess taking Rory down a peg over her weird power trip, then fine, I'll take someone humbling Taylor.

I love it when Jess bears his naked forearm like such a saucy strumpet. Good little vegetarian loading his plate with bread and beans.

Jess organized the wake himself? is that what I'm hearing? Is that the reason behind Rory's power trip? Just so in the last 2 minutes of the episode she could be like "Even though you're 17 years old and your work ethic is so ridiculously solid that it will eventually cause you to drop out of high school, a work ethic which surely violates some child labor laws in the state of Connecticut and Luke should be investigated, a work ethic which has arisen out of sheer survival because your mother is an unemployed alcoholic and you had to help pay her bills, and even though I'm Miss Rory No Job Gilmore, you took some breaks, so I thought you were a slacker. But I see you put together this wake, so I guess you're actually capable of doing stuff."

She said it in fewer words, but you know.

I know that voice of unflappable modesty. He claims he only unlocked the door for Miss Patty and then he went back to sleep. Is sleeping code for jerking off now? He's been doing a lot of sleeping.

#AdmireTheBaby

Baby, you did such a good job unlocking that door. I love you. Have a cookie.🍪 And my hand in marriage.

NOOOOOOOOOOO. Do not assimilate!!!!! DANGER. DANGER.

Milo told AmyShermanPalladino he wanted Jess to die after getting stabbed in the neck so I wouldn't be surprised if he floated the idea of a botched liquor store robbery. I actually had to google it because I will swear up and down I read that "killed in a botched robbery" was one of his ideas, but I only found "stabbed in the neck" or "hit by a bus." This episode was so nice. It was funny. It was sweet and touching. There was no Dean. Rory was a pest to Jess but everyone else left him alone. I honestly didn't even recall that this episode existed before I started this rewatch, but now that I've seen it again, I'll stick it in my top 10 episodes (which I should post soon). The end.

[bonniebird]

Alcide x Reader

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“Just stay inside ok. There’s a lot of werewolves around here.” Alcide said as he headed out towards his car.

“No kidding.” You said sarcastically. Alcide frowned at you and shook his head. “I think I’ll be fine.” 

Alcide got in his truck and drove off. You headed back inside and for a while, you were content with watching TV and nosing around his house. But as the night went on you could hear weird noises and talking somewhere outside. Sookie had insisted that you stay with Alcide while She, Tara, Jason and Bill looked for the vampire that was following you. It had been by chance that Jason had found the vampire trying to climb into your house through a window despite not being invited in. All it took was for him to pause at a red light and a glance to his left. If he hadn’t he would have missed it. Not that the vampire could have gotten in but even after he was caught and questioned he escaped and came after you. So they insisted that you stay with Alcide. Since you had been staying with him the vampire had vanished and you thought maybe you could go home. However, everyone disagreed and all said they would rather you stay with Alcide and let them find the vampire first. 

Despite this, you opened the back door and went out onto the porch. The sounds continued and you curiously pressed forward. It sounded a little like when Sam had shifted and fought off some kind of creature. You hadn’t caught a glimpse of it as you and Tara had hurried to safety with Arlene’s kids.

The further into the woods backing Alcide’s house that you got the louder the sound was. You walked so far that when you turned back you couldn’t see any of the houses or even the lights from the houses. Turning back you froze. In the murky light, you could just make out several figures shifting. You hadn't realised that you’d walked right into a werewolf pack shifting together.

“(Y/N)!” Alcide said. You looked over to where his voice had come from and saw that he’d clearly been arguing with someone. As he hurried over a shifting werewolf swung closer to you and you stumbled back. Their claws almost swiped at you as they changed and shifted. Alcide picked you up and carried you safely away to a pathway. He grunted and looked away as he set you down. “You need to get back inside. Go up that way and you should get there.” 

“You’re not coming with me?” You asked. You jumped as Alcide turned back to you. His eyes were glowing and he was clearly straining to keep in control. “Never mind.” 

You turned and ran the way you came. For a while, you heard wolves following after you but they died away as you got further through the woods and back towards Alcide’s house. You screamed, stopping as quickly as you could when the vampire that had been following you dropped down from the trees. 

Before you could respond several wolves led by a white one took him on and a horrifying fight broke out. A soft brown wolf nuzzled at your hand and nudged you until you followed it off the path and towards Alcide’s.

The sun came up several hours later. You didn’t sleep. As soon as you got inside you locked all the doors and windows, sitting on the floor in the kitchen with a wooden broom handle in your hands.

“You ok?” Alcide asked as he let himself in and you peeked over the kitsch island at him.

“Yeah, bored I guess.” You said as you stood up and rubbed your legs to get rid of the numb feeling from sitting on the floor.

"How can you find this boring? We nearly died." Alcide asked as he took the broom from you.

“There’s something boring about, you know, not running away from werewolves and vampires.” You said and Alcide chuckled. 

“Well if you don’t mind. I’d rather we have a boring day while the pack finds that vampire.” Alcide muttered.

“It got away again?” You asked.

“Yeah but it’s not getting far. We injured it pretty badly.” Alcide assured you. You followed him as he double-checked the doors and windows were secure. “I don’t think it’ll be getting too far. We’ll put a stop to it soon.” Alcide spoke as if he was promising you. 

Alcide tags:

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[chthonic-cassandra]

So, I read the first 10 Charlaine Harris Sookie Stackhouse books over the past month (interspersed of course with other books so I didn't lose my mind). I might read the remaining volumes eventually, but these were the ones I physically had in my possession.

I've been largely enjoying them, though the quality ebbs and flows and some of the books are so incoherently paced that they stop being fun and begin to become extremely difficult to get through. At their best, they strike a fine balance between vampire drama and quotidian detail, making good use of Sookie's almost absurdly optimistic narrative voice, which I think either charms you or drives you out of your mind.

(Representative episode: in book two, Sookie is traveling on a special vampire-accommodating airline to a job using her telepathic powers to assist a vampire leader in another state. She's never been on an airplane before, and tells us, the readers, how impressed she is at the politeness of the flight attendants and the beverages they offer. At length.)

It has something in common with both Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Sunshine, all three of which were released roughly contemporaneously and center around a young woman with supernatural powers who is trying to live a normal life but has to deal with vampire drama. All three texts are interested in humor and horror, vampires and everyday life, abrupt tonal shifts. All of them try to keep vampires as horrific figures (to varying degrees) while also building in a vampire-human romance. I'm sure all three works were influenced by each other (Buffy and Angel get a direct nod in Harris' work), but there's something interesting about the convergence. Sunshine is very much my favorite, of course.

I still find Harris' direct analogizing of vampires to oppressed minorities in our world offensive, as I did when I first learned the premise of the books and tv show, though I've softened enough as a consumer of vampire media to be interested in it. The basic frame - something shifts in the world so that vampires no longer need to prey on humans to survive, and the question of how both they and the humans adjust to that - is an interesting piece of world-building.

I don't think Harris is always up to the task of grappling with the moral dimensions of it, of dealing with vampires who have killed many people no longer needing to. The books are at their weakest when Harris runs herself into a corner with the amount of violence that happens to, around, and by Sookie, when we as the readers are supposed to take some parts of seriously and shrug off others. I'd be interested in the darker version of the story, but wouldn't I always?

The vampire characters are often fun, though softened too much for my taste by the need to have Sookie be never too much in danger by characters we are supposed to like (Eric was more interesting when he was more of an antagonist; I suspect this is not an unpopular opinion among readers).

I have now gone back to the tv show, which I am finding more engaging after reading the books; a lot of this I think is about bracing myself for the sex scenes, which I found pretty unwatchable the first time I tried. The show is being rather more direct and intentional in how it deals with race and sexuality, though I am reserving judgement so far about how well it does at that.

The best part of the books by far is of course Queen Sophie.

[trash-monkey]

selcouth

(adj.) unfamiliar, rare, strange, and yet marvelous

I watch as Aunt Sookie gets ready for her late shift at Merlotte's from my seat on her bed purposely letting her distract me from doing the homework I've been forced to bring home from my kindergarten class and do before bed, soon my mind wonders off.

'You heard right my aunt is *the* telepathic Sookie Stackhouse from the Ture Blood tv show which I've been reborn into after my human death of my last life but I'm lucky enough to regain my memories after turning four so it's hasn't been that long since then, my father is the *can't keep my dick in my pants* Jason Stackhouse from a relationship he had in highschool and been dropped off here straight after birth causing Sookie to name me as I didn't have one. I'm now known as Thackeray 'Tack' Stackhouse the eight year old son of Jason although everyone knows that Sookie and Gran are actually the ones rising me.'

"Tack I know what you're doing! Get to work on your homework little man!" Sookie pulls me back into the world right as she finish getting ready.

'And another piece of luck I have is that Sookie can't read my mind no matter how hard she trys all because I have the same power that Renesmee has from Twilight which blocks Sookie out.'

"Tack? You ok?" She questions softly while sitting by me on the bed and ruffle my dirty blond hair when I don't reply with my usual about hating homework.

"I'm ok, I was just thinking on how to get you to let me have a piece of Grans pie and get to watch tv before bed." She makes a expression that she can't believe I have just said that which I give her a amused smile in return.

"Fine as it's Friday but tomorrow you finish homework, promise?" She holds out her pinky which I quickly hook my own around hers with a smile.

"I promise!" I quickly put everything back into my homework folder and into my school backpack before running down stairs with Sookie trailing behind at a more normal speed.

"Gran! Pie please!" I give Gran a goofy smile after appearing in the kitchen which she smiles back as she open the fridge to get me a slice of the pecan pie she made earlier today right as Sookie finally walked into the kitchen. As soon as I'm handed my plate I speed to the living room where I place it on the coffee table before turning on the old box tv to watch old black and white westerns while I eat, Sookie strolls into the living room after talking to Gran.

"You know the rules so follow them" She lays a kiss on top of my head before leaving for work and after making sure that Gran is focused on reading her book at the kitchen table I sneakily pull out a small handbook I had hidden in the living room, the handbook contains what I remember of the tv show and ideas.

'I plan on stopping Godric from meeting the sun as he can change a lot of things in the future of both humans and vampires, I don't know how yet which it's either telling him death isn't salvation or show him my memories of the supposedly future if the events go as they should which I'll somehow get Jason take me with him to the camp so I can sneak into the basement where Godric will be hold in and hopefully stay there until Sookie comes or give him the book I had found that has a similar to his own which I put the letter I had wrote in it, although Godric did cruel things after being turned which I don't really blame him for doing so as he was taken from his home and not only enslaved by the Romans he was only shown cruelty. He probably thought for such cruelty to himself and others humanity should be punished so he became Death until lately he realizes cruelty will only cause more cruelty and trying his hardest to do better while feeling empty'

I'm taken out of my thoughts by a car pulling up in front of the house which I quickly turn to the clock to see it's way past my bedtime and that it's Sookie coming home from work.

"Shit" I whispered to myself as I quickly put my small notebook back into its hiding place before running up the stairs to my room to put on my PJs and with an ear against the wooden floor as my bedroom sits above the kitchen which I eavesdrop on their conversation from time to time unknowing until now that Gran had retreated to her bedroom some time ago, with silence I carefully made my way to a wall that's close to Gran's room to press a ear against it.

"Tack in bed?" Sook ask Gran as she sits on the bed and pet Gran's cat Tina, I smiled when Gran covers for me knowing I stayed up after my bedtime and soon I hear Sook tell Gran about how Merlotte's got it's first vampire customer which I quickly got into bed after.

'it's finally starting after four years of waiting'

I thought as I close my eyes hope for sleep but with my mind stuck on what's to come sleep escapes from me, after a while just laying and staring at the ceiling Sook sneaks in thinking I'm a sleep so she surprise when seeing me awake.

"What you doing awake?" Sook has her night gown on which slightly flutters as she come over to my bed and take a seat at the edge it, she run fingers through my hair.

"Can't sleep" I simply answer as I turn my body on my side so I'm facing Sook before she smiles at me.

"I know what can do the trick." She going to my large book shelf as I have a addiction to collecting books and pulled out my old story book before sitting against the headboard of my bed with me snuggled up in her side but half away through I asked a question.

"Aunt Sook, can a Villain ever change into a Hero?" I wonder about her response to the question for a while now.

"I believe so if they try hard enough no matter what others say."

"What if he's done something so bad that he believes death is the only way to right what he has done wrong?" Sook frown her eyes together at my odd question.

"Why you asking?" I can hear the worry in her voice.

"I saw a movie earlier about it." I lied through my teeth but hoping she'll still answer my question and seeing me waiting she does with a sigh as she close the book.

"Death is not always the answer to many solutions, when he had come to his senses about what he had done and believes he should repay the cruelty he had showed I think he shouldn't take the easy way out. Instead try his best to help and show others the right path as many doesn't have others to show them."

"What if he had killed many people and thinks that to save others is to end his life?"

"Then he's being a child throwing a fit, his death will do nothing then make the ones that love him sad even if he has done many things wrong, he deserves to live just like you and me. Just remember he's been rised differently then you and his past has might had caused him to do bad things." I nod in agreement at her statement.

"Now, enough of that as you need sleep." She tucks me in bed.

"Can I come to Merlotte's with you tomorrow?"

"You missing Lafayette cooking, don't you?" She smiled when I nod and said that I can go with her to work tomorrow, she lays a kiss on my forehead before leaving but keep a crack in the door and after had I finally been able to fall asleep.

_______________________________________________

[cuddlyreader]

Hi friend!!! I'd love to hear your five favorite Gilmore Girls characters - in order, if possible :) And how would you rank the Gilmore Girls romantic ships from your favorite to least favorite and why? As always, I can't wait to read your answers!

Okay, my friend. Here it goes.

My favorite characters in order are:

Sookie

Luke

Lorelai

Lane

Paris

Bonus: Michel

Romantic ships in condescending order and why:

Luke and Lorelai - They are perfect for each other. They started as friends and became more. TV drama aside, these two are what I aspire to have in a relationship.

Sookie and Jackson - These two are also perfect for each other. I love how they get each other like no one else could.

Rory and Logan - They have a real grown-up relationship that they both work on together. They push each other and enjoy each other and understand each other. These two are supposed to be together.

Richard and Emily - I love their dynamic. They aren't always my favorite people, but they have a great relationship.

Lane and Dave - These two worked, and I was sad that they weren't endgame.

Lorelai and Max - I did like Max. They had a fantastic dynamic. It takes someone special to keep up with Lorelai, and he managed just fine. If it wasn't for Luke, I would have liked Max to be her endgame.

Lane and Zack - It turned out that these two were kinda cute together, so I was good with them.

Rory and Jess - I did not like Jess with Rory. He jerked her around too many times and treated her badly.

Lorelai and Jason - I did not like Jason much. He was very conceited and from the world that she hated.

Lorelai and Christopher - I think that they were good friends that had a child together. Lorelai outgrew him as a love interest years before the writers stopped beating a dead horse.

[wpdariacutnes]

💜🥞💜🥞💜🥞💜🥞💜🥞💜🥞💜🥞💜🥞💜🥞

Me: yeah lot bit a lising bit moch a jack stauber's but no wall is me fevret only a rezan

💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙

Baby Hotline, please hold head a TV side on Size on me close to you ( Riots on)

Like wanna keeps it PG soda on baby lips they

( La la like me on? Wer?...knows me)

Baby flatline a drinks PG it keep still time to do it too They wanna too (ha-ha-ha!)

Freeway dirt Baby snack time and expleing a stawberry is a rat me bi-bike, popping wheelies

( La la like me on? Wer?...knows me)

T-E-A-M-P-S-Y-C-H-O, Team Psycho TV face not big dills a ( ha-ha-ha) chow down to self on earth you wake's babys But in your head she's dys a head off us TV VUT STELL MOVE so call her A HELL CALL DOWNS?

Only spik a one a look " A well coffee?" a cofuze

( La la like me on? Wer?...knows me)

Hoarder of quarters on hart snaks o baby like stawberry but no spik out a coffee likes like enifing online and weeps dys a enifing back a forget a be so too war on full

( La la like me on? Wer?...knows me)×3

And no boundary boredom-dom enifing so dumb dumd a enifing fans be more enifing so darkness side a blackroom a onesly criminal is relistik a enifing dys be self "coffee westens" fell giggle bit a dont understand wona chraing say

( La la like me on? Wer?...knows me)×3

Boundary of coffee a boredom spell it!

( La la like me on? Wer?...knows me)

💜🥞💜🥞💜🥞💜🥞💜🥞💜🥞💜🥞💜🥞💜🥞

I contend that your drinking eye after penting a coffe (wer woring only face so TV das sure) has never opened a spoon it

( La la like me on? Wer?...knows me)

Hey is only a fun in circus shower enifing TV siders

( La la like me on? Wer?...knows me)

Like enifing TV is like aura enifing can plame us in circus is enifing wona sugar pilings?

( La la like me on? Wer?...knows me)

Baby Hotline, please hold head a TV side on Size on me close to you ( Riots on) or I insist niby spiki of insanety somebody will never dead but me is a die, and I hate hoping

( La la like me on? Wer?...knows me)

The pills let you cry is lemon das fine but me a sugar is like prom queen is potles so wishing that wer a the pills of let side on you I hate coming on coffee coping os cry is lafing in me is sooky introsting a make you alone me?

(Wishing that the pills let you cry, and I hate coping...me too me too but is makes a cover is total ligo)

💜🥞💜🥞💜🥞💜🥞💜🥞💜🥞💜🥞💜🥞💜🥞

( La la like me on? Wer?...knows me)

Someday I will go back outside and see her and TV be okay enifing fin'es

All their daughters wanna be me a peachy, believe me fell be I'm colorsleps Georgia so enifing see wirts a more no yellows a so grennes what you see you a growing canda but okey you dizaine it

Hung up and put it on coffe void of face a holders! (old on hotline lest weeks ego?)

(Hotline! Is be lest weeks ego)

My line is getting cold and fell seld petful lips and tuws! (o-o-old on hotline lest weeks ego? )

Head out the window, it's breezy a Hotline! After a slap glass let hem it a in

Hung up and put it on hold! (o-o-old on hotline lest weeks ego)

(Hotline! Is be lest same a week ego)

Soft rap (I dont knows works)::

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[skarsgard-daydreams]

I really like the snippets of the SVMs that you post, but I can’t help but think about how by the end of the series Charlaine Harris just decided to destroy the character of Eric. I read those last few novels and just fumed with anger. Were you happy with how they turned out?

You are absolutely correct, anon. Was I happy with how they turned out? Absolutely not. I have a lot of bones to pick with Charlaine Harris about what she did to Eric Northman, but more importantly, I have a lot of bones to pick with Sookie.

Initially, I thought that the problem in the latter books was that Harris got lazy with everyone's characterization when she was contracted to write three more novels and started writing these characters in ways that were inconsistent. Certainly, there are a few instances where Eric is portrayed in a manner inconsistent with earlier books. (He loses a lot of his humor and charm and suddenly has a very different perspective on the possibility of turning Sookie, which I attribute to bad writing.) But as I went back in the series to compile these quotes, I noticed that the problems I had with Sookie's character in the latter books manifested much earlier. I have been trying so desperately to wrap my head around her behavior, and I have come to the following conclusions about Book Sookie, which are not necessarily applicable to TV Sookie...

(major spoilers and an unedited 4,000 word essay ahead)

Sookie's mind-reading abilities have stunted her ability to read and empathize with others without the use of her powers.

The magical bond that is formed when she and Eric exchange blood circumvents this while it is active, enabling Sookie to feel Eric’s emotions rolling off him at the time. She knows he is terrified when his maker arrives in book 10, and she is even able to identify precisely why he is frightened: he doesn’t want to be under someone else’s control. But after she severs their bond in book 11, her ability to read him fails her. She has spent her entire life reading people’s minds, which has served as a crutch. Rather than developing the intuitive ability to read a person’s body language and read between the lines of what they are saying that most of us learn, Sookie relies on her abilities, which don’t work on vampires. As a result, their motives are often mysteries to her. She notes how stony-faced they are, how carefully controlled they are in expression, but she misses a lot of cues that convey their repressed feelings. This is particularly bad for Eric, who, like many men, shields himself with anger when he is feeling hurt. His anger is not excessive or violent—in fact it is often very well controlled—but it masks the tender feelings that hide under the surface. It is telling that Sookie never acknowledges the incredible pain and betrayal that Eric must feel when she severs their blood bond, or when she ultimately refuses to save him from being taken away from her. The only time she feels sympathy toward him in that respect is in one line at the very end of the series where she considers how lonely he will be—and then she purposefully smothers that thought, refusing to dwell on it further.

Sookie's trauma from her formative relationship with Bill renders her suspicious of the motives of others and unable to trust her future partners.

Bill is the first man she ever dated, fell in love with, or had sex with, and it is revealed to her through Eric’s intervention that their entire relationship was premised on a lie. This plot point is the same in the book as it is in the TV show. Once Sookie and Eric are together, there are numerous instances where she suspects his motives. She maintains the firm belief that Eric never does anything unless it would be beneficial to himself, which is probably true up to a point, but even after he has shown that he is deeply in love with her and that he has borne the personal cost of this love, she still doubts him. In fact, Sookie believes that the love they seemingly share is only the result of the magical blood bond between them, which renders it false. Eric repeatedly states that he does not care why he loves her, only that he does, but this is a problem that Sookie cannot get past. It results in her severing their bond without warning. Once the bond is severed, she insists that she does still love him “all on her own” but her love quickly begins to erode without the understanding that the bond created as they are besieged by numerous calamities. When the final obstacle to their love presents itself—a contract negotiated by Eric’s maker that would force him to marry the vampire Queen of Oklahoma against his will—Sookie is so blinded by her inability to trust him that she doubts every word he says about wanting to stay with her. He never expresses a desire to leave her for the queen, but remains stalwart in his insistence that he cannot escape the contract despite seeking every possible loophole. Yet Sookie believes he is attracted to the queen and the power that she possesses and attributes his insistence that he is trapped in the contract to a clever lie designed to dupe her. In the final days of their relationship, Eric reveals that he knows Sookie could save him with a magical object that grants her one wish, and repeatedly insists that she could stop him from being taken from her if she wanted to. He does not ask her to do it, nor does he mention the object explicitly, or ask where it is. His statements read like a man who is wounded by his lover’s unwillingness to save him, but one who perhaps has too much dignity to resort to begging her to intervene. Presumably he believes that he should not have to beg the woman who says she loves him to save him from “cushy slavery,” as Sookie calls it. Once Sookie realizes that Eric knows about her magical deus ex machina, she starts to wonder if he really just wants to take it from her, or use it for himself. She even entertains the possibility that maybe he orchestrated the entire dilemma in order to get his hands on it. When the thought enters her head, she admits that she never would have considered such a thing if it weren’t for Bill’s betrayal of her.

Sookie's affection for Eric is conditional upon his usefulness to her (including as a sexual object), and she never develops an appreciation or understanding for who he is as a person.

Perhaps this is the fatal flaw in their relationship from the very beginning. Sookie does not express an interest in Eric other than the fact that he is physically attractive until his numerous favors to her and the many instances where he has saved her life or protected her begin to add up. The blood bond between them is formed when he prevents a vampire who has authority over him from forcing blood on an unwilling Sookie, instead offering his own blood as a substitute. Their marriage was orchestrated by Eric when another vampire wanted to take Sookie away from her own against her will, and it allows Eric to serve as a barrier to any other vampire who would try to harm her. Once their romantic relationship is formed in earnest, it quickly becomes evident that it is lopsided. Eric praises Sookie for her beauty, but also for how brave she is and how hard she works and countless other virtues that are not physical in nature. In return, Sookie feels obligated to pay him a compliment, and all she can manage is that he has a nice body and is good in bed. She often deflects from serious conversations with him to have sex instead. Sookie clearly doesn’t believe Eric is a good person, expressing her own doubts about his moral code when he doesn’t display enough outward moral repugnance for her liking. When Eric tells her how his boss tortured and killed a human woman to punish a vampire, she asks him how the story made him feel. His answer—that it made him fearful it could happen to Sookie—is not good enough for her because he does not also express remorse for the woman in question. (It should be noted that he doesn’t revel in her pain either; he is merely concerned with applying the moral of the story to his own circumstances and the woman that he loves.) Sookie does not seem to acknowledge the good that other people attribute to Eric, such as when his new bartender tells her she requested to come work for him. Sookie cannot imagine why anyone would want to work for Eric, but the vampire explains that he is a good master to serve because he treats his people well, specifically pointing out that he doesn’t ask for sexual favors from his female subordinates like other sheriffs do. Sookie is not interested in his life, his business, or his world. When he attempts to explain the elaborate hierarchy of vampire politics to her in an effort to include her more in his affairs, she outwardly expresses so much disinterest that Eric takes offense. Their relationship treads water for a while, until Sookie is kidnapped and tortured by fairies and Eric is prevented from rescuing her. While she is being tortured, Sookie is certain that Eric will show up at any moment, but she doesn’t know that he has been forbidden from intervening by his boss. The other vampires bind Eric in silver chains to keep him from going to save her. He later tells her how anguished he was that he could feel her pain and do nothing to protect her, shedding tears as he talks about it, but she doesn’t want to hear it. That moment marks a turning point in their relationship. Sookie repeatedly affirms that she believes Eric is so big and strong and capable of handling anything, and any time he is not able to deliver on her expectations, she loses even more love for him.

Sookie's prejudice against vampires leads to her treating them as though they are not people.

Although Sookie does not express her prejudice explicitly as some characters do, she still exhibits a bias against vampires throughout the books and expresses a clear preference for humans or shapeshifters. She is disgusted, for example, by Eric’s suggestion that she should come work at Fangtasia, saying that she would hate to watch the fangbangers seek the attention of the undead among them. She believes that they do not feel emotions or possess empathy in any comparable measure to humans. (The thought that not all humans share the same depth of emotion or empathy does not seem to occur to her.) She also discounts their physical pain or suffering because they possess the ability to heal themselves. This happens numerous times when Eric is wounded, often while trying to protect her. In one case, Eric shoves himself in front of a car window and takes a bullet intended for her point blank. While he is injured, he fights off the werewolf who was trying to kill Sookie. Then he gets back in the car and drives her home with the bullet still lodged inside his chest. When they arrive back at her house, he asks her for blood, saying explicitly that he is in pain as his body pushes the bullet out of his chest. She tells him he’ll be fine and if he really needs it, he should stop at Merlotte’s and get some True Blood on his way home. Another time, Sookie comes upon Eric after he has been badly beaten and bound with silver. His arm is broken and his hands, she notes, look gruesome, because the silver was wrapped around them. As soon as she frees him, he springs into action and decapitates the vampire who had attacked him before said vampire can go for Sookie, who gets faint at the sight. (She is not injured.) Eric picks her up even though his arm is broken, and she takes the opportunity to internally romanticize the moment, imagining that she is Scarlet O’Hara. But a short while later, she asks Sam to drive her home without thinking about offering Eric a bottle of True Blood even though they’re right in front of the bar. The most egregious example of this phenomenon occurs when Eric’s vampire brother has massacred all of the staff at his home. Sookie arrives to find several vampires and humans slaughtered on the premises while Eric is desolate and in excruciating pain with his ribs ripped through his chest. He tells her that he needs her to push his ribs back into place and that Pam was there as well, and Sookie proceeds to chastise him for not springing into action to go after his brother. When tears form in his eyes, she grows impatient and questions why he hasn’t called someone to come clean up yet. It isn’t until midway through the conversation that she tells Jason to push Eric’s ribs in so he can heal, and it is only on accident that Jason happens to find Pam, who is thankfully not dead.

Sookie's system of morals is so rigid that, when she participates in violence, she suppresses her own personal responsibility and projects blame on the people around her in order to continue believing that she is a good person.

After the massacre referenced in the paragraph above, Eric and Sookie must fight his crazed brother and several fairies at her house, slaying his maker in the process. When they are victorious, Sookie is immediately revolted by the bloodshed. Eric, meanwhile, is flooded with relief that he is free of his maker, who subjected him to hundreds of years of rape and slavery when he was first turned into a vampire. Sookie knows this, and in fact can feel the emotions radiating from him, but she seems to despise Eric for feeling anything but repugnance in that moment. This appears to be her coping strategy any time she participates in violence—she negates her own culpability and creates moral distance between herself and Eric by judging his reaction to be grotesque. The same thing happens when they are able to kill the brutally cruel vampire regent who was actively trying to ruin Eric and was responsible for attempts on Sookie’s life and who refused permission for Pam to turn her human lover into a vampire before she died. Eric and Pam are joyous that they have won and that the regent cannot torment them any longer. Sookie, who helped plan the attack and in fact dealt part of the killing blow to the regent, is abruptly disgusted when Eric embraces her and kisses her. It does not occur to her that he might be relieved that she was unharmed in the battle and that the constant threat to them all has been eliminated. Instead, she assumes that he’s trying to have sex with her and tells him she’s not interested in a manner that clearly conveys her revulsion. Eric does not handle the conflict gracefully, and bites her harshly to drink from her after he tells her she’s being a hypocrite, which only gives her more reason to push her guilt away and project it onto him.

Sookie’s youth and inexperience serves as a barrier to navigating the turbulent waters of a real relationship.

Sookie had never been in a relationship before Bill, and she only has one other relationship between breaking up with Bill and getting together with Eric. While she enjoys the ‘honeymoon’ phase of her relationships, she flounders when it comes time to address communication issues or outside pressures. Neither Sookie nor Eric find it easy to establish an open channel of communication, but Sookie actively seeks to end serious conversations early or avoid them altogether, while being stunned that Eric initiates conversations about their relationship, something that she thinks all men avoid. At one point, she tells Eric that they need to talk and then starts discussing what she refers to as their “irreconcilable differences.” The conversation seems to be veering into breakup territory, and they’re deeply involved in it when someone knocks on her door. She immediately invites her unexpected guests in and is relieved by the excuse to terminate the conversation abruptly even though Eric is still trying to figure out what’s going on. At other times, she observes that she loves Eric, but she’s not feeling the same lust or excitement when she thinks about him anymore. Anyone who has ever been in a long-term relationship knows that passions often wax and wane, and that it also takes work to sustain and strengthen a relationship over time. Sookie is unwilling to put in the work or even have an honest discussion about the things they need to work on. She talks about romance novels a lot, and it seems to me that she has an idealized concept of love where she believes that they should be effortless and that passions should always be as hot as they were at the beginning. There are also times when she behaves in an extremely childish manner in the midst of conflict. After she severs the magical bond between her and Eric, he comes to her house and her main concern is whether or not he’s mad, while he asks her if she still loves him. She stubbornly insists he has to answer her question first even though she’s the one who broke the bond. On another occasion, Eric’s king comes into town and he is required to be at the monarch’s beck and call. Sookie gets mad at him and tells him she doesn’t want to see him one day, then is even more irritated that he isn’t calling her the next. Soon after, Eric is dealing with an endless litany of personal disasters that he can’t control, and he is short with her. Sookie listens to him confide in her about his problems and then responds with sharp-edged, sarcastic contempt, telling him that she has information that might have helped him with his problems and she might have told him if he wasn’t neglecting her.

Sookie’s limited understand of cultures that are unlike her own leads to misguided assumptions and fatal misunderstandings.

As the books progress, Sookie’s knowledge about vampire culture and governance grows incrementally, but she never approaches their customs with the same open-mindedness that she uses when it comes to werewolves or shapeshifters and their customs. This proves to be a major problem in her relationship with Eric, where there are two unfamiliar cultures at play—the modern culture of vampires, and the ancient culture of Eric’s human life. Sookie often refers to Eric as her “big Viking,” but she never gleans any insight about the culture in which he was raised. She seems to believe that he does not have much respect for women and projects American pre-Women's liberation attitudes on him even though he does not express those beliefs. When he offers to have her come live with him, she assumes that he wants her to be a housewife who cooks and cleans for him. She takes offense, and Eric is confused by her response. As Sookie’s situation becomes more perilous and she is injured multiple times in attacks at Merlotte’s, Eric asks her repeatedly to come live with him and/or work at Fangtasia so that he can protect her. She rebuffs these proposals, believing that they are rooted in misogyny. Sookie is also disinterested in understanding vampire culture, tuning Eric out when he explains things to her and refusing to accept that their rules and customs are different from her own when they inconvenience her. In particular, she never seems to understand the feudal system of governance under which the vampires live. When Eric is obliged to obey his maker or wait on his king or queen, Sookie is consistently irritated that he is not paying enough attention to her. She either does not understand or will not accept that vampires are not free to do whatever they want. This becomes a huge problem in the latter three books after a king from another state annexes Louisiana and kills every sheriff except Eric, putting him in a precarious position. Backed into a corner, he must maneuver very carefully to protect himself and everyone who is loyal to him. At the same time, he learns that his maker entered into a contract to marry him to the vampire Queen of Oklahoma against his will. Sookie refuses to believe Eric when he tells her that there is no way out of the contract, repeatedly insisting that if he loved her enough, he would just refuse to honor it. She holds him to the standards of her own culture, remaining willfully ignorant of the horrible consequences that could befall them both if Eric were to disobey. When she learns she can intervene and save Eric from his fate, she refuses, adamant in her belief that he will find his own escape clause if he truly wants to. The end result of her refusal is that Eric is forced into 200 years of “cushy slavery,” as Sookie calls it, a fate that does not inspire any guilt or pity in her, presumably because she still sees herself as a jilted lover.

At the end of the day, Eric deserved a lot better than Sookie.

He also deserved a lot better from the author, and a lot of people were justifiably outraged with the ending that Charlaine Harris gave to him. Harris, by way of Sookie, repeatedly reminds the reader that the Queen of Oklahoma is a very attractive woman, and it seems that this is intended to excuse the fact that Eric would be contractually obligated to have sex with her whether he wanted to or not. Eric expresses no desire for the queen, constantly asserting his commitment to and love for Sookie. When he admits that he would be required to consummate the relationship with the queen, he seems discomforted and ashamed at the idea. (Harris specifically uses the word “abashed.”) It is revealed to Sookie that the queen conspired to put Eric in this predicament specifically because she knew he valued his independence too much to ever agree to it willingly. Sookie knows that Eric was forced to service his maker sexually against his will, and that what he hates above all else is to be subjugated. She also knows that he will not be a monarch if he marries the queen; he will be her consort, a position that carries with it no inherent power or authority unless the queen gives it to him, and he will not be able to ever succeed her. Even despite all of this, Sookie is completely unsympathetic toward Eric. The author never acknowledges that this ending for Eric essentially means that he will be raped. What astounds me is that I don’t think she would have made his choice for a female character, or if she did, she would not have framed it in the same way. Sookie’s casual dismissal of Eric being sold into “cushy slavery” implies that male rape is no big deal, which is incredibly harmful. It is astounding that she would subject the primary love interest of the entire series to such a fate, and it’s the final nail in the coffin for Sookie Stackhouse for me, at least in her book incarnation. If any of her other love interests had been put in similar circumstances, I can’t imagine what she would not do to try to save them. But because it was Eric—her big, strong Viking who she believes is incapable of feeling emotions or pain and must be invincible in order to be valued by her—Sookie thinks nothing of it. Nothing at all.

@grimeundglow @stevesharrlngtons @scxrsgxrd @grandpa-sweaters

[sirenofthetimes]

Every Proposal on Gilmore Girls Was Absolutely Unhinged

This show was rich in couples, swimming in conflict, and desperately lacking in healthy communication. Which made for some batshit marriage proposals! Let's go:

Christopher to Lorelai in Season 1 ep. 15: Christopher Returns

In Christopher's first appearance on the show, he rocks up to Stars Hollow on his motorcycle at the end of the previous episode, out of the blue, and in this one archetypes are made clear: he establishes himself as the irresponsible deadbeat single dad to Lorelai's hardworking, mature yet still fun single mom. They have a weird dinner with everyone's parents where his parents, Straub and Francine, are shown to be even more uptight and awful than Richard and Emily can be. A lot of fighting and yelling and relitigating past choices ensues. Then Lorelai and Christopher go off to have emotional, nostalgic sex on her childhood balcony, and off the strength of that, he walks into her kitchen the next morning and blurts out that he wants to marry her so they can be a "real family". They barely see each other. They know hardly anything about each other's current lives. This is the first time he's visited the town they've been living in since Rory was a child and yet. A marriage proposal. Naturally, she turns him down, but we have not heard the last of Christopher Hayden.

Max to Lorelai in Season 1 ep. 21: Love, Daisies and Troubadours

This relationship was used mostly to discuss Lorelai's commitment issues, the difficulties of dating as a single mom, and have her fight allegations of her being promiscuous (which are not true, she can be very sexually conservative) by having her do something risky like try to date one of her daughter's teachers at the stuffy private school that also exists in her parents' world. So despite them having okay chemistry, they haven't really dated much and broke up after two months before getting back together shortly before the night of the proposal. Max comes by the house to pick Lorelai up and finds Luke there getting his toolbox and relaying the news that Rachel broke up with him (because she has a basic level of intuition and picked up on his feelings for Lorelai). Max and Luke have a very cringy dick measuring contest, Max (in possession of similar intuition) assumes Luke and Lorelai dated at some point but it's not season 5 yet so she's not legally allowed to admit she's into Luke. They argue, Max expresses frustration that their relationship can never seem to get off the ground, and what does he propose as a solution? Yoking their lives together in blessed matrimony. Lorelai is justifiably frustrated and tells him that's not how you propose, that a proposal is supposed to be special and grand. She lists "a thousand yellow daisies" as an example how to truly pop the question and the next day Max arranges for that famous logistical nightmare romantic gesture at the inn, then says some flowery bullshit on the phone and because it's the season finale and emotions are high, Lorelai accepts. Though later, right after her bachelorette party, she runs away and calls off the wedding. They meet a couple more times for closure, and then the relationship is truly dead.

Jackson to Sookie in Season 2 ep 13: A-Tisket A-Tasket

Sookie and Jackson's budding relationship has actually been pretty nice to watch up until this point. They have a fun balance between awkward but cute flirting and comical bickering about produce. But there's something in the area's water supply that makes people unable to clearly express their wants and needs in a romantic relationship so when Sookie doesn't respond how Jackson wanted her to to him saying his lease was up and asking her what she thought, he sulks. The sulking manifests itself in him not bidding on Sookie's basket at the bid a basket auction so she confronts him to see what's up and they actually manage to have a decent conversation about what moving in together would mean. And that could've been a nice ending for that storyline. But shacking up together? Out of wedlock? Impossible. So at their picnic for two, Jackson fakes Sookie out and says he doesn't want to talk about moving in together any more... because he thinks they should get married. Sookie, reeling from that whiplash, accepts, and since the rules of TV beta couples states they must move faster than the main will-they-won't-they couple at all times, they get married, stay married, and continue struggling to effectively talk through big life decisions,with some admittedly nice moments in between.

Lorelai to Luke in Season 5 ep 22: A House is Not a Home and Season 6 ep 1: New and Improved Lorelai

Lorelai and Luke are in kind of a weird place at the moment, with Luke upset with Lorelai for considering selling the Dragonfly to a corporation owned by one of her father's contacts, which would have her traveling and consulting instead. While she's not too serious about it, she's enjoying being courted by the company, but this is in complete disregard for the giant house Luke bought without telling her or the kids he's thinking about having that he also hasn't discussed with her so it's causing problems. This is forgotten however with the news that Rory wants to take time off from Yale after receiving some rare negative feedback, and that Richard and Emily are letting her stay with them after just telling Lorelai they would help her force Rory back into Yale. So when Lorelai walks into the diner lamenting the fact that Rory is making a decision independent from the vision Lorelai had for her life, and Luke comes forth with a nonsensical plan to, again, force Rory back to Yale, Lorelai is touched that she finally has someone on her side. And since she's a veteran of the season finale marriage proposal, she celebrates having her partner agree with her by asking him to marry her. He accepts in the next season's premiere with no hesitation, but eventually their tendency to hide things from each other to not ruin their relationship.... ruins their relationship. Shocking.

Zack to Lane in Season 6 ep 16: Bridesmaids Revisited

Zack is on a bit of a redemption tour after ruining Hep Alien's showcase in front of a major label by throwing a tantrum about Brian potentially writing a song for Lane. This random burst of jealousy sends him on a power trip that has him throwing out their set list and screaming at his band mates until a fight breaks out and the band and him and Lane split up. But when he sees Lane in the music shop some time later putting up a flier advertising her drumming services to other bands, the thought of her daring to potentially continue living her life without him spurs Zach into action. He convinces Brian and Gil to get the band back together and they're in if Lane's in. And his way of getting Lane back is to walk into Luke's while she's working, go off on some tangent about how he doesn't feel good, and propose in front of a huge crowd of gossipy small town people. Lane must have smacked her head on some antique furniture that day because although she at least stops to ask if he's thought about this, when he presents her with the pawn shop ring he got that "belonged to like an Elk or a Moose or something", she accepts and walks right into marriage and babies land and right out of development that would make sense for her character or be interesting.

Christopher to Lorelai in Season 7 ep. 7: French Twist

Ever since Lorelai walked out of her fraught engagement with Luke and into Christopher's bed, he has taken the reality of a woman coping with feelings of rejection by hooking up with the man she keeps stashed in the background for occasions such as these, and spun it into an elaborate romantic tale of two star crossed loves who waited their whole lives to be together. And when Sherry who, guided by the hands of karma, previously abandoned Gigi leaving Christopher to raise her on his own, writes a letter saying she's totally fine now trust her and wants Gigi to spend a few months with her in Paris, Christopher invites Lorelai along for a big romantic gesture trip. They spend most of it jetlagged, but Christopher remembers he's super rich now (as opposed to just being regular rich like before) and he bribes a restaurant to open early for the two of them. Lorelai, basking in the romance™ of it all, confesses her love, and Christopher pounces on that and starts in on a whole speech. Basically, even though he said he'd be willing to wait for Lorelai to fall in line with his vision, he doesn't feel like waiting any more. Lorelai, sensing where this is going, suggests they wait, as they've only been really dating for a couple of months. She also brings up Rory, figuring she'd want to be up to date and present any big changes. But Christopher waves those perfectly valid concerns away, stresses how long they've known each other, insists that they're meant to be, and fate has brought them together. And then comes out with it and asks her to marry him. Which are very intense words for Lorelai, an emotionally vulnerable woman who just broke off an engagement because her fiancé seemed overly hesitant to actually get married, to hear. We don't see her accept, but there's a scene of them returning home where he calls her "Mrs. Hayden" (as if she would ever change her name), and their marriage immediately began to fall apart like wet tissue paper.

Logan to Rory in Season 7 ep. 21: Unto the Breach

It's the end of Rory's time at Yale, and on the heels of her New York Times fellowship rejection, rejections from other newspapers across the country, and the fact that she rejected her one job offer for better things that did not come, Rory's future is wide open and unstable. On the other hand, Logan is completing his character transformation from irresponsible party animal trust fund kid to hardworking and responsible trust fund kid, accepting a job offer for an internet company in San Francisco. The question emerges: How will the young couple handle this next phase of their lives? And when Logan shows up at Lorelai's house in the previous episode, he comes with a solution. He wants to marry Rory and take her to California, and he wants Lorelai's blessing to propose. She gives it, though not without trepidation, and Logan does propose. In the middle of the graduation party Richard and Emily are throwing for Rory, he gets up in front of everyone and takes out the ring. Rory is caught completely off guard and takes him outside to talk about it, where he reveals that he got the job, picked out a house for them to rent, researched newspapers where she could apply to work, and even planned activities for them to do in their spare time. The original plan being that she would say yes to his proposal without knowing all this and walk blindly into her new, pre-arranged West Coast life. But Rory needs time to process the idea of marrying Logan immediately after college, and on the day of her graduation, she declines. Logan decides if he can't marry her, there's no point in being with her at all, and the two go their separate ways, to eventually meet again in a years long affair, for some reason. Though I barely acknowledge the revival.

Honestly, the only proposal that truly makes sense is Lorelai's to Luke in the revival but I won't discuss it here because a) again, the revival basically doesn't exist to me and b) they should've married during the original run of the show.

[treason-and-plot]

"Your gin and tonic's on the kitchen table," Raj says to Mia when she returns. He is sitting on the couch, the only sound  in the room the gentle slap of the water against the sides of the boat. Mia picks up her drink and takes a long sip;  she thinks she could get used to drinking these things.

"What are you doing? " she asks Raj. "Relaxing," says Raj. "Isn't it obvious?" "You want to go out somewhere?" says Mia. "Like to The Cargo Bar?" "No," says Raj. "Absolutely not." "Fine," says Mia. "What about we watch TV? Have you got Simflix?" "No," says Raj with an exaggerated shudder. "I don't even know if the TV works. I don't think I've ever turned it on." "So Simflix and chill isn't an option, then. Can I put on some music, at least?" says Mia. "It's too quiet in here. It's freaking me out." "Be my guest," says Raj. "Oh, wow!" says Mia. "You have, like, actual vinyl records!" "And not a single Jackson Browne album among them, you'll be relieved to know," says Raj. "I haven't heard of any of these bands," says Mia grumpily, getting unsteadily to her feet. "You choose something." Raj gives a gentle sigh and climbs up from the couch. Mia slurps her drink then bangs it down on top of the TV. "Shit, I almost forgot! " she says. "Your girlfriend rang you while I was downstairs!"

Raj frowns.

"I beg your pardon?" he says. "Your girlfriend," says Mia. "Sookie? Dookie? I mean, Cookie. Yeah, that’s it. Cookie." "What do you mean, Cookie rang?" says Raj. His eyes like chips of stone, cold and hard. Mia wants to go to the toilet again. She says quickly: "I heard your phone ringing when I was in the bathroom and I came out and saw her face on the screen. That's all. " "You didn't answer it?" says Raj. "You didn't speak to her?” "No," says Mia, making her eyes round with indignation. Raj's expression relaxes slightly. "What's the deal with you and her, anyway?" says Mia. "It seems really complicated." "You don't want to know," says Raj. "Oh, trust me, I do," says Mia. "Anyway, you owe me, because you asked me about Isaac!" "You have a point," says Raj. "Very well. The simple fact of the matter is that we are using each other. Which was fine in the beginning, but now there is a power imbalance, because Cookie has fallen in love with me and her feelings are not reciprocated." "You don't love her back?" says Mia. "I am fond of her," says Raj. "But I don't love her. Deep down she knows this. But it doesn't make the situation any easier for her to bear." "So you're just using her for sex?" says Mia. "Is that what you're saying?" "No," says Raj. "No, that's not why I'm with her." "So why?" "Because she's rich, and I need money," says Raj.

[aion-rsa]

Bridesmaids Ten Years on: “It Should Not Have Been Subversive”

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“From the producer of Superbad, Knocked Up and The 40-Year-Old Virgin” headlines the 2011 poster for Bridesmaids. It might as well have continued “comes a comedy starring… women!” While the producer in question, Judd Apatow, had nearly created his own subgenre of modern coming-of-age comedies featuring male friendships (regardless of the age his characters were ‘coming of’), a credible, genuinely funny, ensemble laugher starring all women was virtually unheard of. Or at least so it seemed at the time. Quotes on other posters included proclamations like, “Chick flicks don’t have to suck!” (Movieline) and “Better Than The Hangover!” (Cosmopolitan).

Ten years on, it seems both like yesterday when the film came out and also a whole era away: a time when women headlining a comedy movie was somehow strange, “chick flicks” were accepted to be a lesser form of cinema, and The Hangover was considered the pinnacle of hilarity. From a script written by Annie Mumolo and Kristen Wiig (who also stars), featuring a wedding where romance is in no way the focus of the movie, and starring a host of funny women, a smattering of gross-out humor, and some of the most honest and empathetic depictions of female friendship around, Bridesmaids was a beacon. And it shines just as strong today.

A week ahead of Bridesmaids’ 10th birthday (its original U.S. release was May 13, 2011), Den of Geek is chatting with director Paul Feig via Zoom. Feig is in Belfast and into week four of his fantasy adaptation The School for Good and Evil (based on the book). When we tell him we can’t quite believe it’s been 10 years he laughs, “You can’t? Imagine how I feel!”

While the movie itself remains fresh, funny, and sweet, that it was considered quite so daring just 10 years ago is a bit of a shock now. Certainly Feig never considered the movie to be subversive at the time.

“But everybody kept talking to us like it was!” he says. “It just made me mad because the whole subversive thing was, ‘Oh my gosh, it’s a movie starring women.’ And it was like, ‘Really?’ It was 2009 or 2010 at the time we were making it. It was like ‘Wow, if this is subversive, that’s kind of a sad indictment of the industry that we’re in.’ It was annoyingly subversive. It should not have been subversive. It should just have been a funny comedy starring funny people.”

He’s right of course. The fact is the movie was a benchmark. Feig explains that female writer friends who were pitching ideas for female casts at the time Bridesmaids was being made were all told across the board, “We have to wait and see how Bridesmaids does.” That is a whole lot of pressure for one movie—the idea that Feig’s comedy would influence the cinematic landscape for an entire gender. But the reality is, it did.

Feig is demure when we bring up how much the movie changed the film world, but he concedes that it did help to prove to studio execs that female-led films can make money.

“I’d been told in the years running up to that, when I would be pitching female-led projects, ‘Oh no, you can’t, because men won’t go see it. Internationally, it won’t work. Blah, blah, blah.’ All these rules, rules, rules, and you just start to go like, ‘Well, so we’re just going to accept those rules? So women can never have their own projects?’

“We were able to at least show them, ‘Look, if you do it, and it works, then audiences will show up. And not just female audiences. Men will show up.’ I think our movie benefited from the fact that women would bring their significant others to the film, whether they wanted to go or not, and then they could tell their friends, ‘Hey, you should see that. It’s really funny.’”

It worked. Bridesmaids was a massive success, both critically and commercially, grossing over $288 million worldwide (it’s the highest grossing Apatow movie to date) and bagging two Oscar nominations.

Bridesmaids isn’t the first female ensemble comedy, but it’s undeniable that it was a 21st century game-changer. Without it we may not have had movies like Pitch Perfect and its two sequels (if you think that film isn’t influenced by Bridesmaids, check out the poster), Bad Moms, Ocean’s Eight, Girls’ Trip, Feig’s own Ghostbusters reboot, Rough Night, as well as Melissa McCarthy vehicles Identity Thief, The Heat, Spy, Tammy, and The Boss.

Not every one of those projects is gold and nor should they have to be. The fact that they are allowed to exist and stand or fall on their own merits is crucial. It’s the equivalent of the idea that women in various forms of employment automatically have to be that much better than their male counterparts. Women should have the right to create and star in terrible comedies just as much as men…

Though she was relatively famous before Bridesmaids—perhaps most recognizable for her TV roles including as Sookie St. James in Gilmore Girls—it was Bridesmaids that truly pushed Melissa McCarthy into the mainstream. Nominated for a Best Supporting Actress Oscar for her role as sister of the groom Megan in Bridesmaids, since then McCarthy’s become one of the highest paid actresses in the world.

It’s quite astonishing, then, that Feig didn’t actually know who she was before he met her at a table read. 

“I had never met her before in my life,” he laughs. “We brought her in for an audition because she was friends with Kristen and Annie, and we were having trouble casting that role. Then she just blew me away. And I can’t believe to this day that I did not know she existed until the moment I saw her because she’d been working a lot before that.”

Feig’s first encounter with the script and McCarthy was at a table read back in 2007. Feig says he was in the middle of post-production on an “unsuccessful Christmas movie” called Unaccompanied Minors, which featured Wiig, when Apatow called up.

“He said ‘I know you like to work with female characters, so you should come and see this.’” Feig recalls. “I remember just going like, ‘Oh my God, we can have an amazing vehicle for the funniest women we can find.” 

It wasn’t until three years later though that the project finally came to fruition. Feig says all the basic structure of the script was there but with some differences to the detail. The airplane scene wasn’t originally in the movie, and the women made it to Vegas. The character of Officer Rhodes (played by Chris O’Dowd) was a little different. And the infamous dress shop scene, where the group gets explosively ill after Wiig’s Annie takes them for a meal at a cheap restaurant was, according to Feig, “a little more of a competition about Helen [Rose Byrne] wanting an expensive dress and Annie trying to steer towards a cheap dress.”

The dress shop scene in the finished film has become notorious with food poisoning landing in full force during a bridal fitting, McCarthy’s Megan straddling a sink, and Maya Rudolph’s bride-to-be Lillian forced to relieve herself in the middle of the road wearing a wedding dress. Yep, not only is Bridesmaids a film about women, it’s a film where women have violent diarrhea, a massive taboo, even still. Feig recalls it was a delicate balance to make sure it was character driven and not just gross. 

“When we first came up with the idea and pitched it to Kristen, she was a little nervous, but rightly so. I mean, honestly, with Judd and I, two guys suddenly going, ‘Hey, let’s do this,’ it could have been terrible,” Feig says.

“We like to have these outrageous scenes that stick with you, but they can’t be outrageous just because, ‘Hey, let’s just have something, everybody shits and farts all over the place.’ That’s not funny to us. What’s funny to us is the idea of she’s competing with somebody who has more money. She has no money. She’s going to try to compete by taking them to a shitty restaurant and saying it’s a good restaurant. And it’s going to blow up in her face. How does it blow up in her face?

“The funny thing is she’s not going to admit in front of her nemesis that this blew up in her face. And so now the comedy is like, ‘We’re just going to throw so much evidence at you that you’ve screwed up.’ The comedy’s going to be like, ‘I’m fine. They’re fine. Nothing’s wrong. I’m not sweating. I’m not about to die.’ And that’s why it’s funny. Then that allows us to go like, ‘And now let’s just have the evidence be hilarious and go crazy with it.’”

So much of what works so brilliantly about the movie is the chemistry between all of the cast. Wiig and Rudolph were already best friends in real life, and the rest of the cast, who all came from the world of improv, had either worked together or at least seen each other’s work.

“The great thing about comedy people, in improv especially, is they’re not lone wolves,” Feig explains. “They live and die by the interaction they have with the people they’re working with. So you don’t get a situation where somebody is a diva or trying to be like, ‘Oh, they’re stealing my jokes.’ They want to make each other as funny as they can while they also make themselves as funny as they can. So it was just a wonderful, supportive set. I mean, we had so much fun. There were never any moments of anything other than just laughing and having a great time.”

Though most of the cast was recognizable, to a U.S. audience at least, from TV shows like SNL, since Bridesmaids their careers have boomed. As well as McCarthy’s enormous success, Wiig has most recently starred as a main character in Wonder Woman 1984 (with a chance she might return for another installment); Ellie Kemper is now best known as The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmit; Wendi McLendon-Covey is the star of The Goldbergs; and Maya Rudolph seems to be in everything—we loved her as the Judge in The Good Place, among other things.

Pre-Bridesmaids Australian actress Rose Byrne was probably best known for serious roles in movies like Sunshine, 28 Weeks Later and Troy, and while her character, Helen, is something of the straight woman of the gang, she’s had plenty of opportunities to exercise her comedy chops since, with movies including Neighbors, Instant Family, and Like a Boss.

Though the antagonism between Annie and Helen and the effect it has on Annie’s friendship with Lillian is the central tension of the plot, it was always important to Wiig and Feig not to turn Helen into the villain of the piece.

“Helen doesn’t really do anything terrible,” Feig explains. “I always said, we have to face this from Helen’s point-of-view, which is: Helen meets Lillian. Lillian’s this awesome, smart person. And she then meets her friend who she’s heard all these weird stories about and the friend is kind of a mess. And so to her, she goes like, ‘That’s kind of a toxic friend. I’m going to, in a very lovely way, try to steer Lillian away from this bad influence in her life and towards better things, because I think she can go better places.’ So from Helen’s point-of-view, everything that Annie is doing is terrible because Annie’s trying so hard.”

It means that Bridesmaids very clearly avoids the trope that women aren’t able to get along, and Feig and Wiig pointedly wanted to avoid any sense of it being a catfight.

“We like to redeem people at the end,” Feig says. “It’s really sweet to redeem Helen and go, no, she’s just this needy person who has a husband who was never home. And she’s trying. She clearly has no self-confidence whatsoever, no self-esteem and so she’s just trying to buy it. So it just makes everybody redeemable and lovely at the end.”

Feig says he’s always been fascinated by female friendships and says he’s mostly friends with women. It’s another reason it was always important to him that despite being a “wedding movie” that Bridesmaids kept the relationships between the women at the heart.

Says Feig, “I don’t consider this a romantic comedy, even with the Chris O’Dowd love story. To me, that’s just a prize at the end that Annie gets when she works herself out with her friend. But that’s what drew me to it. If you look at my other movies, I’m just obsessed with the idea of female friendship and exploring it on screen, because I just find it to be one of the most interesting and fun and sweet relationships in my life that I’ve experienced.”

It’s this authenticity that helps Bridesmaids still ring so true a decade on. Though a comedy about women, written by two really funny women, which isn’t a romance and contains farts and shits shouldn’t be subversive, it was definitely a trailblazer. And Feig concedes that it’s helped with “getting over that stupid hurdle of ‘chick flick.’”

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“I despise that term because it’s just a way for guys to dismiss movies starring the opposite sex,” he says. “Hollywood is not an altruistic town. They’re not going to do stuff just to do the right thing. It has to make money. We were at least able to show: look, you can actually make money and do the right thing.”

Bridesmaids is now exclusively streaming on Peacock.

The post Bridesmaids Ten Years on: “It Should Not Have Been Subversive” appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls Season 1, Episode 21 ("Love, Daisies, And Troubadors"). Part 1

WHAT HAPPENS IN THIS EPISODE: We're on the last episode of Season 1! Luke "Fixes Lorelai's Porch Rail" and wakes the neighbors. Lorelai asks Luke to Pound One More Thing while he's out there. Lorelai has a dirty conversation at work with Max. Max watches Lorelai suck on a ring pop. Luke breaks in Lorelai's back door. Clara Forrester needs a foster home. Rory pours her heart out at a town meeting and everyone pity claps.

"Ms Gilmore, I'm here to fix your porch rail.* "Well, my porch rail does need a lot of screwing, hammering, nailing, and pounding Mr Danes." *porny music begins playing* (disclaimer: this conversation did not actually happen). "You're gonna wake the neighbors." (this was actually said)

STOP LOBBING ME SO MANY SOFTBALLS! If you keep making all the dirty jokes for me I'll be out of a job reviewing a 22 year old tv show to 3 people on a dying social media platform! Luke disappears as Rory shows up causing Lorelai to loudly exclaim "He was banging on something!" about 4 times. You wish.

Michel Wisdom: "I've made peace with the fact that everyone who calls here is a notch above brain dead, and the pennies I am thrown each week are in exchange for me dealing with these people in a nonviolent manner and usually that is fine, but today, sorry lady, I have ennui." Max calls Lorelai at work and they have a converation insinuating some kind of roleplay situation recently took place and they also talk about having sex withdrawals. Remember the time Max called Lorelai at work and they had a conversation about removing each others pants? Poor Sookie, already suffering from ennui, and the rest of the kitchen staff have to hear Lorelai and Max talk about how someone should write a novel about their Sex. Does she know about Archive of Our Own? Does she know that in the future a number of people will have written novels about her Sex with Luke? But not ol Max Medina.

Oh no, Rory found the DeanBox that she told Lorelai to throw away. Of course Lorelai didn't throw it out. Let's be real. Who's the one who really wants to hang on to pieces of Dean here? Lorelai explains that Rory "Is gonna want some of that stuff one day, when you're old and married, and you can look back and say "I certainly had an interesting life!" I'm sensing a theme here, which is that Dean's lot in life is to make Rory's life more interesting for her mother. Sure, Rory is going to want to keep her Dean box until she is old and married. Girls always keep boxes of their high school boyfriend's random shit for decades. "You can pull out all your old boyfriend boxes." I DON'T CARE THAT HE'S STILL 5 EPISODES AWAY, WHERE IS THE JESS BOX?! What was in the ChristopherBox? The box of expired condoms that led to Rory? I KID. I KID. Contents of the DeanBox Full Of Garbage Pointless Crap were as follows: Idk what the first thing was supposed to be-a dress? A stuffed chicken. Box of corn starch. Quarter on a string ("medallion"). OH WHAT PRECIOUS MEMORIES!

I love the Caboodles case in the background. When you're all grown up and married to your StepCousin Jess and open up your Deanbox, maybe the quarter will have appreciated in value. Rory is hesitating to enter Doose's because Dean will be working there. We're STILL doing this? Boycotting small businesses, hurting the local shopkeep every time you break up with a boy? Oh, the shopkeep here is Taylor, carry on not giving him your money.

Lane starts jumping up and down OMG'ing and freaking out just because Rory is going into the market. She didn't even have a plan yet. Everyone in this town has rotting fish carcasses for brains. The "this" is Dean & Rory getting back together. God help me. Time and time again, we see the primary lesson of Gilmore Girls is this: Don't date someone who lives in your small town. After your inevitable break up, you'll be doomed to wander the streets, unable to enter any businesses, and eventually you will starve to death. Don't shit where you eat, as Milo would say.

Honestly though I love Lane. How could you not? Taylor accuses Rory of looking like a shoplifter. The nerve! Like Rory would ever steal anything!

Mikey's an improvement from Dean! Go for it Rory! "He took Thursday afternoon off. He must have met one of those Thursday afternoon girls. They're slutty girls who get guys to switch their Thursday afternoons with another checkout guy so they can go do slutty Thursday afternoon things." It's fine if you want to calling hypothetical girls you don't know sluts, so we'll just keep calling you Mary, it only seems fair. Rory: Lane, you'd tell me if you ever saw Dean with another girl at school? Well, she never told you when Jess stopped showing up for class, so idk how reliable this girl really is.

"Suck my left nut" is my catchphrase of the week, and Diet Logan can suck my left nut.

Classic Diet Logan. DL lies to Madelyn and Louise by telling them Rory agreed to go with him to the PJ Harvey concert, which enrages Paris, who is still infatuated with Tristan, apparently, for some reason.

Shut up Rachel, can't you see there is a dalmatian behind you? Show some respect. Rachel: Luke's been at your place alot. Lorelai: Yeah, well, he's been fixing some things. The porch rail. Some roof shingles, then the porch rail again. Luke's been spending an awful lot of time "fixing the porch rail" Eh? Eh? Heh heh.

A Troubador War is a brewin'. Luke scares Lorelai when she unexpectedly finds him in her house. The following exchange requires no further commentary from me: Lorelai: How'd you get in here? Luke: I came in through your back door. Lorelai: My back door's locked. Luke: Well that's why I came through it. Your back door lock was broken. Lorelai: My back door lock is fine. Luke: Your back door lock is cheap. (this exchange goes on way too long). #BackDoor Nitpick Time! My favorite time! Same episode:

Lorelai Gilmore, Milk Denier. And a cracker denier as well. (She once said she didn't keep crackers in the house when a box of Saltines was clearly visible in her kitchen in the same episode). "I'm a loner." "I don't want to hear about the romance of being a loner." "Some guys are just natural loners." "Yes, lonely guys." "Independent guys." "Sad guys." "Maverick guys." "Lee Harvey Oswald." "John Muir." "The Unabomber." "Henry David Thoreau." "Jess Mariano." Okay you got me. I made that last one up.

Being a Milk Whore is more honest than being a Milk Denier, Lorelai. But is being a Milk Whore more respectable than being a Thursday Afternoon Supermarket Slut?

The House Of Forrester. House of The Damned.

Sure she's annoying as hell, but how did Dean's parents spawn an otherwise normal child? Honey, I have some news. I think you were adopted.

Apologize at once, Rory Gil. Poor Clara didn't ask to be born a Forrester. She doesn't need you traumatizing her too. Lorelai's bringing Max to a town meeting to pop his Town Meeting cherry. And oh boy, it's gonna be a good deflowering.

You have to admire MaxMedina's earnest enthusiasm about Ring Pops, like he just discovered the wheel. I was eating Ring Pops in the early 90's. Stars Hollow is at least a decade behind the times for everything, so I guess it checks out.

A sea of weirdoes. I'd say that if you packed any more oddballs into that tiny room you'd open up some kind of vortex to another dimension, but Stars Hollow is already not of this Earthly realm.

The American political landscape.

Piece of literal human garbage. I haven't dunked on Dean in a bit so I had to let it out. I get all backed up otherwise. Subjecting minors like poor Clara to one of these meetings should be classified as child abuse. Anyone want to open up their home to an incredibly annoying but sweet foster child?

Boring old MaxMedina just soaking up the weirdness and sipping his drinkydrink.

How does a Town Troubador make a living? Is this a volunteer gig he takes too seriously? Taylor somehow didn't know he existed, so this is not some local government-sponsored initiative. Clearly no one is going to pay him in tips. No one even pays for their food at the beloved local restaurant. Taylor asks him "what do you do for a living"? to which he responds "I don't want people to know those things." Ah yes the old Jess Mariano approach. A gigolo? A WalMart worker? A "messenger" for a guy named Todd? Miss Patty: He doesn't accept money. I tried. So not a Gigolo then. Taylor: This troubador act is a money making scheme! Prett-y rich coming from Taylor Doose who spends 7 years putting together "Fundraisers" to repair a tiny wooden bridge and is totally not pocketing the money. Taylor's the type of guy who says things like "no one wants to work these days!" but then this nice gentleman is out there trying his best probably hoping for a few bucks thrown into his guitar case, which is a pipe dream since this is Stars Hollow and no one pays for anything, and Taylor calls him a vagrant and a scammer. Taylor: Watch out Morey, after that anatomically explicit epithet your wife yelled at me earlier, you're both on probation. Oh Babette! I'd love to know what she called him. A cocksucker? A dickhead? Did she tell him to suck her left nut?

Pervy old Max Medina only bought Lorelai a ring pop for one reason and he's thinking he got his money worth.. Looks like Lorelai returned the favor and bought him a hot dog to suck on. The speech to follow is one of my all time favorite Rory moments and I truly enjoy it (ironically). Enjoy. "I have something to say!" *awed hush falls over the town hall* "Sometimes you have something to say but you can't because the words won't come out! Or you get scared or feel stupid! If you could just write a song and sing it, then you could say what you need to say and it would be beautiful and people would listen and you wouldn't make a complete idiot of yourself! All of us can't be songwriters, we'll never be able to say what we're thinking so we'll never get the chance to make things right again! Ever!"

I was about to type "And then everyone clapped" as a joke. And then everyone actually clapped.

Honestly, Barfbag's puzzled reaction to Rory's speech is the most reasonable one. Where the fuck that did come from Rory Gil? She took one look at that soiled mattress Dean Forrester and suddenly a prepared speech comes flowing forth?

Yeah. Everyone briefly pity-claps for Rory. Lorelai gives her a small hug. No Babette yelling "you go Sugar!" or anything of the sort. We see another brief shot of Dean looking confused. The meeting concludes. I applaud Rory's lack of social anxiety. If I gave an impromptu speech like that in front of what I would expect was a supportive crowd and no one even reacted, the humiliation would be a debilitating weight I would carry around for at least the next 15 years.

"Let's go home and you can suck on my Ring Pop." Tumblr only allows you to post 30 pictures per post, but just like Rory Gil, I have a lot to get off my chest, so I will continue this in a second post/ part 2. See you soon...

[zalrb]

Another huge fan of your blog checking in! How would you rank these shows you've been discussing lately in order of the quality of the writing: TVD, Gilmore Girls, Downton Abbey, That 70s Show and The Office? (It's funny that I happened to list The Office last because in terms of writing quality I think it would rank first on this list for me - but I totally get that you and many followers may feel differently!)

I don’t think it would be out of place to put The Office first because it is a well-crafted show, particularly the first few seasons (I personally think it runs out of steam around Pam’s first pregnancy), it’s a show that’s fantastic with details,

one of the reasons why I said I like Pam and Jim as a couple but I really love their slow burn moments is because of all the details that make their relationship like particularly when Jim has to work in the annex because of Michael took over his desk and he’s away from Pam all day and every time he sees her, she’s laughing with Roy or doing something else and he spends the entire day thinking she didn’t miss him but when the day is over and he gets to his desk, he sees that he has seven voicemails and they’re all from Pam telling him about her day because he isn’t there --- taking away my shipping lenses, that’s beautiful writing but I would probably put Downton Abbey first though I enjoyed it considerably less -- second less on this list.

It’s first because of the characters, not that I don’t think The Office has great characters because they do and I wouldn’t call any of them one-dimensional but Downton Abbey wrote characters that kind of came into the lives of the people who liked the show, like when every series began it was almost crafted like a family reunion for the viewer, you’re back at Downton, and I think it was the actress who played O’Brien that said there’s a character for everyone and even though I personally found all of them - save Violet - unlikable, they were strong characters and given faults and attributes in equal measure and the contradictions were expressed in a way that was for the most part organic. And what I mean by that is having just rewatched Black Sails, an issue that I had with the show is the way the characters explained the motivations and thought processes of other characters in expository dialogue, once in a while it’s fine but because it’s repeated, it’s lazy to me:

whereas Downton lets the characters’ actions or words speak for themselves and then uses a quick piece of dialogue that sums up those contradictions without it seeming like an explanation or without it seeming non-conversational

The Office is second.

To be completely honest, I think That 70s Show and Gilmore Girls could be interchangeable in this spot. I’m choosing to put That 70s Show because I think the writing tapped into exactly what teenage life in a small Midwestern town would be like i.e. sitting in the basement with your friends, watching TV, smoking weed, goofing off and it’s an entirely separate world from upstairs where your parents are and that wasn’t my life as a teenager and I wasn’t a teenager in the 70s but the specific details of small things that are big moments like a first kiss, getting drunk for the first time, a first job, has aspects of universality to it and the writing emphasized that very well while they wrote characters that could be like The Cheerleader, The Tomboy, The Boy Next Door, The Pretty Boy, The Bad Boy while also nuancing them so they’re not one-dimensional (and when the show starts making them archetypes, there’s an entire episode about how nothing changes and they don’t change and develop and they make fun of themselves, although the best course of action should’ve probably been to end it) and they’re also able to interact alone together

With Gilmore Girls and that writing, it’s the ability to juggle the amount of storylines that it does without the episode or the series feeling overcrowded and that’s actually not a small feat.

Rory and Lorelai are pretty much a 50/50 split and then throughout the series, Emily and Richard get more time and then there’s Jackson and Sookie and there’s Paris and her arc with small town shenanigans with Kirk and Taylor and then you have the Inn with Michel and there are characters that definitely feel shortchanged by the writing *cough* Lane *cough* and I would argue Dean but I would also argue that Dean wasn’t meant to be anything other than a first boyfriend and was built for Rory but for the most part, I would say that you know these characters, you know their dynamics to the town or to Lorelai or to Rory or to both and they have their own storylines that you don’t necessarily need to see through but are fleshed out enough that they feel like real people.

This is something TVD never got, almost every new character felt like an unnecessary addition because they weren’t doing much with the characters that they had --- why am I seeing Enzo when you’re doing nothing with Tyler, why am I seeing Liv when you’re doing nothing with Matt. And TVD is last because of well the various things I post on my blog.

[horribleweasel]

Definitive grading of vampire tv shows according to me (an expert)

Disclaimer I honestly haven’t finished a bunch of these but I gave them a good college try.

Also there are spoilers

Buffy the Vampire Slayer 8/10:

It is the 90s and you will not forget it. If I see one more cardigan worn as a shirt with just one or two buttons done up I will scream. Good ensemble cast, struggles a bit with plot sometimes, but come on we all know Buffy is iconic. Feels very teen, the whole set in high school things gets old really fast, but I get that it’s a convenient way to have all these people grouped together by default. If you are looking for a satisfying relationship or women actually being treated fairly you have come to the wrong place, yes it makes me sad too. Also good lord Dawn got on my nerves and decreased my enjoyment of the last couple season. Overall some feisty good humor and fighting. Buffy really did the high school vampire genre first, and it gave me quite a few chuckles so that earns it some points.

Angel 7/10:

This one is a bit tough... I love my boy Angel, but he really is quite angsty. But his understated humor and awkwardness make up for it. Spike coming in at the end was a real bonus. I always thought Cordelia was a bitch so I wasn’t thrilled with her being a regular, but then I got even more mad at how she got treated on the show and was written off. It lacks some of the ensemble charm that Buffy had, and I know it’s trying to be more edgy and appeal to boys but I think the relationships and every day stuff was what made Buffy interesting.

The Vampire Diaries 7/10:

Look was the dialogue and plot always outstanding? Absolutely not. Did it piss me off when I was like 13 that they deviated from the books? Absolutely. But all in all a real fun time. Very over dramatic, a bit like Riverdale but somehow less contrived despite being about literal vampires. Has a nice mix of different personalities and character tropes, lots of witty one liners, attractive cast, I’d say it’s pretty solid. Got a bit weak towards the end when some cast members left but what can ya do.  

True Blood 1/10:

I hated it. The fact that it takes place in the south with gross confederate flag touting people already made this show pretty unappealing. Combined with the main character having a really dumb name (Sookie??? excuse me???) and the main vampire not even being a hottie (and also quite un-charismatic imo) it was a miss for me. The plot was mediocre, and while I appreciate Sookie’s can do attitude she routinely fell short of expectations. Also some interesting POC characters, but it made me a bit uncomfy that they were the only ones being shown with fucked up home lives and emotional issues.

Kindred the Embraced 8/10:

Gone but not forgotten RIP, this baby only lasted 8 episodes due to the lead dying in a motorcycle accident but man I really liked it so it gets one point per episode that aired. It has admittedly been a long time since I’ve watched it, but the concept of vampire society being pretty organized and categorized into different gangs was interesting. Some really great characters with pretty decent nuance, especially for a vamp show that didn’t even last half a season. 

Moonlight 4/10:

I mean a vampire private detective seems pretty swell, but the main guy was so bland and boring that he managed to suck the joy out of it. Points have been awarded for a great performance by Jason Dohring as a pretty charming and fun recurring character. I know there was a girl bc there’s always a girl but tbh don’t remember her, she was probably fine.

Being Human (US version) 6/10:

It had potential, and some of my disappointment is just that I was hoping for some cute slice of life stuff but there was just so much DRAMA. If you pitch me a werewolf, a vampire, and a ghost become roommates I will be expecting a kinda funny sit com vibe but absolutely not. Had some good moments for sure but I just wanted it to be less serious. 

Blood Ties 5/10:

The first one with a historical figure as a lead! Kyle Shmid plays a very attractive Henry Fitzroy (fun fact he also played a vamp named Henry on Being Human). Kind of a reversal from Moonlight, in this one Vicki (a human) is a detective and Henry helps her out with extra stuff. Would have higher marks, but for the entire two season they drew out the whole will they/won’t they with the two of them and it got old real fast. Also there was a plot point about Vicki being in the process of losing her vision but I don’t think it ever actually played into the plot?? Anyway Henry is very hot and mysterious, so I’ll take it.

What we do in the Shadows 9/10:

Very close to perfection but marred by the fact that the movie really was perfect and nothing can ever replicate that. I like the re-imagining, I like the cameos, I’m a sucker for things that are usually dramatic and serious being made comedic. What can I say, go watch What we do in the Shadows.

Honorable mentions for shows that have vampires but are not about them: 

Preacher 10/10:

I love Preacher. A lot. I was a bit devastated when it ended, but it had a fair run. The plots were absolutely wild, the characters were so great, just absolutely pristine. As for our vampire fellow, Cass is vulgar, funny, violent, but with a heart of gold (well, maybe gold plated at least). It did kind of get me down towards the end when he and Jesse were being mean to each other, because the team of the two of them with Tulip was so good. The really drawn out foreskin in face creams joke?? iconic. 

Shadowhunters 7.5/10:

This really is the Riverdale of fantasy shows. Terrible plot and dialogue, weak acting, kinda iffy cgi sometimes. But the drama really is iconic, and it’s a great show to genuinely enjoy laughing at. Pretty good representation of LGBT and different ethnicity characters. It’s not every mediocre fantasy show that has pretty respectful examples of gay, lesbian, bi, and ace characters. If you’re looking for heartwarming romance THIS is the one, lots of genuine love and affection not just straight couples arguing and being mean to each other. The vampires in it are pretty cool, one main and couple of side characters, overall would recommend, the rating is a feature of my enjoyment of it not actual quality.  

Midnight, Texas 5/10:

Man this one really tried, I think it had some real spicy ambitions but sadly didn’t quite meet them... I loved the range of supernatural characters and the kind of open secret nature of their existence. The vamp character was very unique, and a some nice variety from the norm as he was a POC. Also Manfred was a real champ and did his best to deal with all the wild crap that was going on.

NOS4A2 3/10:

I love Zachary Quinto but Charlie Manx is an incel and that is unforgivable. He’s also not really a vampire but he keeps getting refered to as one?? He’s pretty similar to an energy vampire though, so close enough. I feel like the whole christmas gimmick thing is really weird and makes situations seem ridiculous when they are supposed to be serious. Vic is nice as a female lead, but then she has a kid and suddenly I do not care. Obviously this is a personal preference of mine, and I know that it follows the graphic novel, but motherhood and having a child around diminishes the experience for me. Yes I know a main part of the plot is Charlie kindapping children, that doesn’t mean I need them to be main characters. I like Maggie a lot though. Overall, it kind of feels like there’s not really much plot there, it’s just Charlie taking children and Vic trying to stop him over and over again.

Penny Dreadful 6/10:

There were a lot of aspects of Penny Dreadful that I liked quite a lot, and as a whole I would recommend it. Unfortunately the rushed and disappointing conclusion has kind of soured its memory for me :/ The vampire aspect of the show was ok, the kinda low level vampires were nice and weird but that whole Dracula arc was very badly done and felt unnecessary/not enough in some ways. So like I’d give it an 8/10 until you get to the end of the last season.

If a show you like did not appear on this list (I’m looking at you Legacies...) it is because I did not watch it and I do not care

[athingthatwantsvirginia]

Tragedy of Gatsby

PART TWENTY-FOUR OF THE DO YOU SEE HER FACE? SERIES

Pairing: Jess Mariano x Original Character (Ella Stevens)

Warnings: serious angst, anxiety about future, plentiful pop culture references

Word Count: 6.1K

Summary: Jess walks his mother down the aisle. Later, he and Ella address issues from their past.

Raucous laughter filled the diner as Liz had her makeshift bachelorette party. Ella could only roll her eyes at the obnoxious women, only growing louder as they drank more wine, along with whatever the one dressed in loud shades of pink, Carrie, had in her flask. With the wedding fast approaching, only one more day, Luke and Ella were doing their best to keep calm. They had closed Luke’s for the afternoon to allow for the modest party, consisting of four middle-aged Stars Hollow women drinking and uttering cliché nonsense. But, they had also (somehow) been assigned the task of making the food for the festivities. Ella had no idea where Luke had acquired the large, silver rotisserie cooker which sat on the diner counter, and she was almost too afraid to ask.

Large turkey legs spun around inside the hot plexiglass contraption, and more sat on a plate on the counter. Ella stood with the manual in her hands, a crease of concentration between her brows, trying to decipher the vague instructions. Though Luke was asking Liz if she had any idea what to do, Ella knew the effort was futile. As with most of the other wedding plans, Liz would be offering little to no help. Her personality wasn’t totally asinine, but Ella was beginning to understand the many complaints Luke and Jess had about Liz. She certainly wasn’t amazing at problem-solving.

“Let me see it,” Luke said, putting the roasted leg which he had held up to examine back down on the plate. He reached his hand out for the manual.

Ella sighed, not looking up at him. “You already read it. You need fresh eyes.”

“I think I saw something that’ll help. I’ll try and find it,” Luke continued, extending his hand to her further.

Shrugging, Ella finally tore her eyes away from the words and handed the book back over to him. “Godspeed, boss.”

Just then, Jess appeared from behind the curtain and came over to the end of the counter. “I need to get some batteries. I’ll be back.”

“What? For your Scarface beeper?” Ella asked, eyebrows raised.

“Hey, don’t get distracted. You’ve got legs to cook,” Jess scolded playfully, but frowned as his mother called over to him. Seeing her within a five foot radius of alcohol was enough to put him slightly on edge.

“Girls, this is Jess,” Liz said, taking her son by the shoulders and over to the table to show him off to her friends.

Jess was met with a flirtatious chorus of “Hello handsome!” and other such greetings. And he immediately heard Ella snort back a laugh to his left. He shot her a glare and she feigned an innocent look.

“He’s gonna walk me down the aisle,” Liz said. “Is that cool, or what?”

Behind the counter, Ella raised her eyebrows in surprise. It was the first she was hearing of it.

“It’s no big deal,” Jess replied dismissively.

“It’s a very big deal,” Liz insisted, a hand still placed on his shoulder. Then, she turned back to Ella, who was staring quizzically into the rotisserie cooker. “And Ella’s filling in as my flower girl. I gave her one of my dresses and everything.”

“Oh, you’ll be great,” Carrie smiled at Ella through sips of her drink. “And those Renaissance dresses Liz showed me? They’ll squish your boobs right up to your neck! It’ll be fabulous!”

“Yeah,” Ella said flatly, sighing. After trying on the dress last night with Lorelai, they’d taken up the length and taken in the sides. But the corset was relatively static, unable to be adjusted. When laced up all the way, it almost completely cut off her ability to breathe. “I’m just counting down the seconds.”

Outside, a man in a UPS uniform, holding a large package, approached the door. Luke went over to accept the delivery, but it instantly became apparent that there was no package and the man was a stripper. Eyes widening, Ella quickly undid her apron and hung it on the hook in the kitchen.

“I’m taking a break,” she announced, rounding the corner of the counter to come up beside Jess.

Luke barely acknowledged her, still lost on what was about to happen. Without thinking, Jess grabbed Ella’s wrist gently to lead her out of the diner before the show could begin. It was clear from the scarlet flush on her cheeks and the amusement on her face that she didn’t want to bear witness to what was about to happen either.

“Have fun,” Jess muttered dejectedly to his uncle before brushing past him and escaping.

“Have fun with what?” Luke asked cluelessly behind them, but the door had already shut.

Ella erupted in a fit of laughter as Jess released her wrist, walking beside her and shaking his head in disbelief. Birds sung in the afternoon heat, and they went down towards the market, the streets lined with fresh produce and fragrant flowers. Eventually, Ella’s giggles subsided and she caught her breath.

“Luke really should get out more,” she said, letting her long hair out of its ponytail and running her hands through the waves.

Jess snorted. “Agreed. I’m pretty sure the only movie he’s ever seen is Bridge on the River Kwai.”

Pursing her lips, Ella shook her head. “Maybe that’s what he says. But he’s definitely seen more. How else could he keep up with Lorelai?”

“Good point.”

A comfortable pause passed between them as they neared the market, entering the air conditioning as Jess went off in search of batteries. Even after a couple years, Taylor still glared each time Jess came in the store. It was meant to look menacing, but instead it ended up as mostly cartoonish. Ella even shot him a teasing wave as they walked past. In some ways, Taylor felt about Ella the way Mrs. Kim did. She wore dark clothing and makeup, and created ghoulish artwork. And her dead mother, and additional complicated family members, did nothing to help her reputation among the other conservative townsfolk. Not like Ella cared, however; she knew people like Patty and Babette and Maury and Gypsy were the coolest ones. And they all liked her just fine.

“When the hell did batteries start getting so expensive?” Jess grumbled, picking up some generic AAs, skipping over the name brands.

Ella chuckled. “You sound like such a responsible adult.”

“Hardly,” Jess replied, leading the way to the checkout line. “If I was actually responsible, I’d leave New York. I live in one room with five other guys and I still barely make rent.”

“Ah, so the tragedy of Gatsby holds true?”

As he paid, Jess only chuckled in response. His eyes fell on the ‘Take a Penny, Leave a Penny’ jar while the cashier made change, and he smirked nostalgically. After so long, he could still hear Taylor’s accusations of his stealing every single coin in the jar. He had done it, of course. He just hadn’t expected such an intense response. Those early days in Stars Hollow had shown him just how boring such a sleepy town could be. In New York, there were bigger fish to fry than some kid taking pennies. But still, before they left, he dropped one penny into the familiar jar. For old time’s sake, he told himself. Ella noticed, of course, and raised a brow at him in askance.

He shrugged as they emerged back into the May sunshine. “What goes around comes around.”

Ella gave a bitter chuckle. “Not that karma bullshit.”

Jess clicked his tongue mockingly. “Kids these days. So cynical.”

“Whatever, James Dean,” Ella said, shaking her head.

For a moment, Jess’s breath seemed to catch in his throat. She hadn’t called him that name in such a long time. And suddenly, he was seventeen again, ditching school and mouthing off and making out with her to depressing records. But, then, he had to remind himself where he was. He was putting pennies in the jar. Walking his mother down the aisle. Reading the self-help book Luke had given him the night before after a long, strange lecture about the power of communication. Jess wanted to roll his eyes at every word when first starting the book, but he’d read almost half of it already, sitting up in his old bed. And he was beginning to absorb it, understand it. Biting down hard on his lip for a moment, Jess quieted the emotions which sprung up in his mind and only shot her a smirk.

“I am not going back to the diner any time soon. You wanna get some ice cream?” he asked, tucking the batteries into his pocket.

Nodding, Ella let a fond smile cross her face. Either she hadn’t noticed her nickname slip, or was brushing it off. “Sure. Seems like you’re finally developing a concept of weather.”

.   .   .

Sucking in her stomach, Ella regretted eating so much mint-chocolate-chip. Pretty in Pink played at a low volume on the small TV in the Gilmore living room, as Lorelai made the final alterations to Ella’s dress. Standing on a kitchen chair, Ella was off to the side of the couch so as not to block Rory and Sookie’s view of the movie. Along with playing substitute seamstress for the wedding, Lorelai would be meeting with Sookie about some Inn business later in the evening. Ella felt like she had been holding her arms out at her sides for hours, and her shoulders were starting to ache. But she bit back the heavy sigh which threatened to escape her mouth as Sooke, Lorelai, and Rory shot questions at her about Jess’s sudden reappearance. They were doing nothing to hide the suspicion in their voices.

“He’s really walking his mom down the aisle? Mr. Sid Vicious, Mr. Stealing-My-Beer-and Ditching-My-Dinner, Mr. Steal-Babette’s-Gnome-and-Fake-A-Murder-Outside-Doose’s is walking his mother down the aisle voluntarily?” Lorelai asked through the pins she held in her mouth, taking in the sides of the dress one final time.

“Anything else to add or are you done?” Ella’s voice was husky and breathless as she watched Jon Cryer dance around Molly Ringwald on screen, the corset tight but still manageable around her torso.

Rory chuckled. “You can’t deny all those pseudonyms are factually accurate.”

“And no longer timely, Ms. Amanpour,” Ella quipped flatly.

“But he still got in a fight with TJ at a strip club last night,” Lorelai piped in.

Ela rolled her eyes. “That was justified. And happened while he was reading Jane Austen in a strip club.”

“You’re grumpy tonight, kitten,” Sookie said, tilting her head over the back of the couch at Ella with a small pout.

“Comes with the lack of oxygen,” Ella replied.

Lorelai took a final pin from her mouth and stuck it in the hem at Ella’s side. “Why did you agree to this Renaissance nonsense, then?”

“Didn’t really agree to it. And when Liz brought it up, Luke seemed so happy. I just...couldn’t say no to them,” Ella explained.

Lorelai shot her a mischievous grin. “Ah, there’s that hidden heart of gold. What a shame that it’s three sizes too small.”

“I’m not losing any sleep over it,” Ella said.

Rory snickered.

“Hey, I’m not the only one trying to add a few years to Luke’s life this week,” Ella continued, stepping down from the chair, trying not to slip in her fishnets.

“What do you mean?” Sookie asked.

“Lorelai is Luke’s date,” Ella said. “A match made in heaven.”

Lorelai rolled her eyes. “We’re just going as friends.”

“It’s a good thing you’ve never been arrested. You’d never pass a polygraph,” Rory smiled, in on the teasing.

“Wicked, wicked girls,” Lorelai scolded with a dramatic gasp.

“Not quite the twins from The Shining, but close,” Sookie chimed in, agreeing.

“Twins indeed,” Lorelai said, straightening the corset, eyebrows raised.

Normally, Ella barely filled out a bodice. But, with the constricting powers of the corset, she had cleavage nearly up to the collarbone. She’d be lying if she said it wasn’t an interesting change from being nearly flat-chested, as she slowly got used to the pressure on her ribs.

“Just call me Bianca,” Ella announced in a dramatic Elizabethan accent, making circular gestures with her hands.

“Not Desdemona?” Rory asked.

Scrunching up her nose in thought, Ella shook her head. “No, definitely Bianca. I’d much rather slap Cassio than be murdered by Othello. Besides, I don’t think this dress is exactly Desdemona’s taste.”

.   .   .

The day bloomed hot and dry, the sun shining down from a cloudless sky. Ella rushed across town square from Patty’s to Luke’s. As she entered the air conditioning of the diner, she felt sweaty in her tight outfit, panting slightly. In the back of her mind, she worried her makeup would smudge beyond salvageability before the ceremony had even started. But soon, the cool evening would set in. And she kept her mind focused on the task at hand, trudging up the stairs to the apartment and knocking twice on the door. After a few moments, Jess came to greet her, dressed in all black. He blinked at her in surprise, then smirked.

“Hello, flower girl,” he said.

Scoffing dejectedly, she brushed past him into the apartment. But, as soon as she was in view of Luke’s side of the room, she turned back around with a look of disgust. TJ was shirtless, in nothing but some very form-fitting tights. Jess chuckled at the scowl which formed on her face and the blush on her cheeks.

“Jackass!” she scolded Jess playfully. “Why didn’t you warn me?”

“Didn’t exactly give me the chance, did you?” he asked, eyebrows raised as he made his way over to his duffel.

“Excuses,” she shot back.

“Alright, alright,” Luke piped up, exiting the bathroom and walking over to Ella in the kitchen. “What’s up, kid?”

Letting out a heavy sigh, she turned away from Jess and faced Luke, mouth set in a thin line. “I’ve been sent here to tell you that Liz’s dress ripped. But Lorelai is fixing it and everything is fine. She’ll just be a few minutes late. But no one’s getting left at the altar or anything.”

“What’d you say?” TJ chimed in, panicked, in his thick New Yorker accent.

“Nothing, Liz is just running a little late getting dressed. Go put your outfit on, buddy,” Luke said, reassuring.

Narrowing his eyes, TJ stared suspiciously at the three of them before finally giving a nod. He took the hanger which held his heavy Renaissance costume into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. Ella was comforted by the fact that the next time she saw him he would more than likely be fully clothed.

“Nice tie,” Ella said, feeling odd seeing Luke out of his usual uniform. The black suit looked stiff on him, but his burgundy tie was surprisingly fashionable.

“Thanks,” Luke replied, almost begrudging, almost anxious.

Jess walked back over to the two of them near the kitchen table. He had a pale, yellowish button-up over his black t-shirt, yet to be buttoned. “He’s nervous.”

“I am not,” Luke argued.

“I bet Lorelai will think you look great,” Ella teased.

Luke rolled his eyes dramatically. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.” Then, he went to deal with the shoes on his bed. The polish was practically a hundred years old, and its chunkiness wasn’t yielding the best results.

As Jess finished buttoning up his shirt, his gaze roamed over Ella. She wore a lavender, cap-sleeve dress, chiffon with a hem which stopped just above her knees. Over it, a silvery vest corset. Her usually messy hair was curled in long, golden ringlets, and it was done half-up, half-down. A few loose strands hung around her freckled face. But even though her lips were shiny with clear gloss, her eye makeup was dark and smudged in a grungy style as usual.

“You look nice,” Jess said with sincerity, nearly winded, breathless from the butterflies which flew around in his stomach.

Smiling shyly, Ella’s flush deepened. “Thank you. Don’t look so bad yourself, Mariano.”

He nodded humbly.

But then, Ella furrowed her brows and she reached up to straighten the collar of his shirt. “You have to remember to fold these right. How many times, Jess?”

Ignoring the electricity he felt at her touch, he looked down and saw the hefty black Doc Martens on her feet. He regained his confident smirk, smug.

“No heels?” he asked as she took a step back from him, satisfied with his shirt.

She mirrored his expression, conspiratory. “Never, when I can help it. Last time I wore them was at Sookie's wedding. One of the worst decisions of my life. And, hey, Liz said I could wear my own shoes.”

Jess snickered, picking his watch up from the kitchen table and fastening it around his wrist. “Wait to cheat the system.”

“Thank you very much,” she replied with a little bow. “See you out there?”

“Oh, can’t wait,” Jess drawled, feigning excitement.

“Hey. Game face, Mariano,” Ella said, pointing a finger at him as she made for the front door. “I’ll save you a seat.”

.   .   .

With Liz’s dress finally fixed, Ella jogged over to the town square from Patty’s, hearing the strings and flute players biding their time, keeping the moderate crowd entertained. So many people were wearing costumes, flowers in their hair, and bells on their shoes. She would have rolled her eyes, but she was clutching at her middle and nearly doubled over when she finally made it to the end of the aisle, trying to catch her breath. Jess stood in waiting for his mother, and his eyes widened when he saw Ella panting.

Bringing his hand to her arm as he crouched down, he furrowed his brows at her. “Woah, Stevens, are you okay?”

Nodding, Ella swallowed dryly and straightened up. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine, Mariano. It’s just hot. And I’m only getting about half the air I normally do. I’m dizzy, that’s all.”

“You wanna sit down? I can get you some water?” he asked. Though she was usually pale, her face was almost never so ghostly.

She shook her head just as the music kicked up, signaling her cue. Grabbing the basket of rose petals from the ground near the end of the aisle, she shot him one final smirk in an attempt at reassurance. “Really, I’m okay. And I’m on. Break a leg.”

“Right back at ya,” he said, a doubtful eyebrow raised.

And, in a mortifying turn, Ella skipped down the aisle and added in a few twirls, tossing petals as she went. It wasn’t exactly dancing, which was good for the audience’s sake. They would otherwise have been doomed. But her cheeks flamed and her stomach squirmed with nerves, fearing a stumble. Lorelai flashed her an encouraging smile as she went, and soon enough Ella was taking her seat in the front row, one empty chair for Jess to her right. In all honesty, she was surprised she had actually pulled it off. When she’d signed on to be the flower girl, she’d understood the role as merely walking. She’d almost chickened out when Liz had shown her the moves the night before. But, somehow, she had survived. She didn’t believe in miracles, but it came pretty close.

Then, Liz rode in at the back of the arrangement on a large chair, rolled by two men in pantaloons. Everyone rose. Jess took her by the arm, leading her down the way. Ella had to admit, Liz looked amazing in her wedding dress. And Jess, who’d had only a shy, stoic expression before, even managed a small smile as his mother kissed him on the cheek. Soon, she stepped next to TJ, and the crowd was seated again. Ella looked at Jess, as he came to her side, with a tiny smirk.

“You did well. Very firm gait,” she whispered.

Jess rolled his eyes, but his smile stayed. “Whatever, Stevens. We both know you were seconds away from breaking your nose.”

She didn’t reply, but instead licked the pad of her thumb and smudged Liz’s lipstick off his cheek.

Jess grimaced. “Ugh, Eleanor spit.”

“Ah, sweet revenge,” she said, a wicked grin growing on her lips.

Once the officiant began playing some antiquated string instrument and singing a silly song about love, all bets were off. Ella could hear Luke and Lorelai fighting laughter behind her. She bit at her thumbnail to keep from giggling, but eventually had to hide her flushed face with one hand and grip Jess’s knee with the other for dear life. Even Jess had to bite down on his bottom lip to ward off an amused outburst.

.   .   .

Stars shone brightly from the dark sky, and Ella gazed up at them as the man sitting next to her and Jess droned on about his time in prison. Having had the opportunity to meet many of Liz and TJ’s acquaintances from the Renaissance fair over the course of the night, Ella was relatively sure she would not be donning her corset dress again any time soon. Though Liz had assured her she could keep it, since it was now fitted just right to her frame. Warm air blew past them in pleasant breezes, and it made Ella’s heart feel calm, soothed. Summer was coming. She couldn’t wait. Swims in the lake (without the current of an ocean), sitting out in the gazebo with Lane, drawing the floral arrangements which would adorn town.

Eventually, the man with the tank top and shaved head rose from his seat, and left Ella and Jess alone at the table. Stray, empty plates peppered the gingham tablecloth. Deeply breathing in the clean air, Ella looked over at Jess in the glowy night, lit up by the extra twinkle lights around the makeshift dance floor which had been set up near the gazebo. Past Jess, she could see Luke and Lorelai talking and laughing amongst themselves at their table. A smirk crossed Ella’s face. She hoped it would stick this time, with Luke officially divorced and Lorelai having broken up with her rich, snotty boyfriend, Jason Stiles. Ella had never met him, of course. But from what Rory had told her, Jason had been all wrong for Lorelai.

Clearing her throat, Ella faced Jess again and propped her head up on her palm, elbow on the table. “You okay?”

Jess, sitting hunched over his nearly empty plate of food, looked up at her and shrugged. He leaned back against the back of the folding chair he sat in. “Well, I’m not bleeding or anything. Are you still dizzy?”

“No, I think my vitality has been restored,” Ella said, sighing slightly.

“Well, I know the sunlight hurts you, Morticia.”

Snorting a laugh, Ella straightened up and her tone turned more serious. “Really, though. You’re okay with her getting married again?”

Chewing on his lip, Jess shrugged once again. “I’m okay. She’s gonna do what she’s gonna do. And this one is better than some of the others. Though that bar is pretty fucking low.”

She nodded. “Alright. You can tell me, y’know. It’s okay if you’re not okay.”

“I know,” he said shortly, though not unkindly.

“Good. Glad we sorted that out, then,” she said, smiling genuinely at him.

He gave a small smile back. “Me too, Stevens.”

Suddenly, Kirk came over the loudspeaker soundsystem and announced Liz and TJ were about to have their first dance. The sweet guitar tune which played was not one Ella could instantly recognize, but she didn’t hate it. From the corner of her eye, she saw Luke and Lorelai over near the side of the dance floor. Jess watched Ella gaze out around the crowd, starlight glinting in her hazel eyes. He felt so content, and his mind wandered to the now-finished self help book sitting on the table near his teenage bed. But, before he could open his mouth to speak, Ella turned back to him.

“This song isn’t half bad,” she said. “I almost expected a Gregorian chant, but I guess they’re not quite that committed to the theme.”

“I’ll be sure to mention that in the Gazette review tomorrow,” Jess quipped. “I figured you’d think this was too happy.”

She shook her head slightly, pursing her lips. “Maybe the lyrics are happy, but it sounds sad. The music feels...depressed. Fuck, that doesn’t make sense. Maybe I do have heat stroke, after all.”

“I wouldn’t put it past you. And you tell me I don’t drink enough water,” Jess chided, shaking his head.

Ella rolled her eyes. With a smirk, she pointed across the square towards Luke and Lorelai. “Look at those crazy kids.”

Jess looked at the two of them, Lorelai settling against Luke as they danced slowly together. He laughed under his breath. Maybe Luke was taking the book’s advice, too. It still shocked Jess that his uncle had been proactive enough to seek relationship guidance. Maybe Luke would no longer be the most dysfunctional person he knew.

“Took them long enough,” Jess said knowingly.

Humming in agreement, Ella leaned back in her chair, shifting to get more comfortable. She absolutely couldn’t wait to take the dress off. “But, hey, Luke can waltz a hell of a lot better than I ever would’ve been able to.”

“Agreed,” Jess scoffed. “In those boots? You’d break all ten of my toes.”

“Hey, you managed to come away from the Distillers concert unscathed,” she said pointedly, eyebrows raised.

“The exception that proves the rule.”

She snickered but didn’t retort, instead yawning against the back of her hand. Such a costume in the nighttime heat also seemed to be making her drowsy. After a moment, Jess swallowed down his pride. He remembered Lorelai’s words, Luke’s words, and the words in the book telling him he deserved love. Jess put a hesitant arm around her, and before she knew what she was doing, instinct taking over, she brought her head to his shoulder. And it was so familiar. Watching the townspeople of Stars Hollow, saying nothing but feeling everything. And, just for a minute, she quieted the thoughts which swirled around in her mind. She didn’t worry, she didn’t bite her nails, she didn’t clutch her necklace. She only let herself feel the swell of her heart.

.   .   .

In the early hours of the morning, Ella was glad to have some silence in the house. Hep Alien was out at a gig, performing and celebrating the success of Mrs. Kim’s visit to finally reconcile with Lane. She’d come over to see her daughter’s new life during the wedding, when Ella was out. Though Zach and Brian had combed their hair and put on ironed shirts, Mrs. Kim already knew enough about Ella to never trust her. So, before she left for the wedding, Ella parked her car outside the diner and left no traces of her presence in the living room. As Ella was coming back through the front door, already unlacing her corset, the three band members were getting ready to rock, as Lane put it. With Dave out at college in California, they were still missing a guitar player, but they’d booked something at a random bar near New Haven. They were relying on their minimalist White Stripes covers for the time being. Lane had given Ella an excited squeal and a big hug before leaving, offering her friend a brief rundown of the evening. Mrs. Kim still wasn’t overjoyed, but she had at least done a walkthrough of the house.

Finally able to breathe again, Ella had cracked open nearly every window of the house to let the cool breeze in. Her hair was damp and loose from a shower. She was dressed in an old Pixies t-shirt and some plaid pajama bottoms, more comfortable than she’d been all day. It had been taxing, but more fun than she thought it would be.

And Jess. So different but so easy. A quick goodbye. Apparently, though, he had just gotten a cellphone. He had given her his number, after a fair amount of her teasing. She’d promised to take advantage of Luke’s house phone during her breaks. As hard as it was to watch him disappear into the dark diner, parting ways as she walked back to Lane’s and he went to pack up his stuff, at least she knew it wouldn’t be the last time they spoke. She could’ve sworn, as they sat for nearly an hour with her head on his shoulder, she had been transported back in time. Somehow, she had forgotten just how safe Jess could make her feel. How right. But with it brought confusion.

He lived miles away, he left without a word, didn’t speak to her for over a month. If she hadn’t grabbed the phone from Luke, would he have ever tried to get in touch with her at all? No matter how much she wanted to be with him, she couldn’t forget what had happened, how it felt. Despite what Lorelai and Rory may have thought, calling to check in on her best friend every once in a while was different than forgiving the past.

Snuggled beneath a thin throw blanket, Ella doodled inside a copy of The Waves. She had tried to focus on the words for only a few minutes before giving up entirely. Her thoughts were too loud; she couldn’t quiet them down enough for fiction, even modernist. Instead, she drew a Renaissance scene, a grim reaper sneaking up on a gaggle of beautiful, corseted women.

She furrowed her brows when a knock sounded on the door. It was Lane’s house, and she hadn’t mentioned expecting anyone. Nonetheless, Ella tossed her book and blanket aside, crossing her arms over her braless chest defensively. But, she found only Jess on the doorstep. He had donned his leather jacket and stood with his hands shoved in his pockets. His expression was largely unreadable, but she almost thought she saw a shine in his brown eyes.

“Hey, Mariano,” she greeted him, smiling. “Is something wrong? Is it that rust bucket again? If you need a place to crash while Gypsy’s fixing it, I’m sure Lane would be okay if we shared the couch, or the floor maybe-”

“Can I come in?” he asked suddenly, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

Ella nodded, face falling at his anxious tone. She stepped aside for him to pass. “Sure. Everyone else is at a gig near Yale. Just Virginia Woolf and I tonight.”

A half-hearted smirk crossed his face as she shut the door and went back to the couch. She gestured for him to sit in the armchair across from her. It was a wonder how the band managed to fit any furniture in the living room at all with the drums and other gear set up on the wall near the front door.

“What’s wrong, Jess? Did something happen?” she asked gently, tilting her head at him.

He swallowed harshly, running a hand over his mouth. “I need to talk to you.”

She nodded. “Okay. Well, here I am.”

Breathing a heavy sigh, he took a long pause, then finally locked eyes with her. “Come with me.”

“What?” she asked, chuckling slightly in disbelief. Was he joking?

“To New York. We could work, live together, be together. God knows they would love your art up there. You could sell it on the street if you needed to, and I know people would buy it. I love you, Elle. I love you so much and I wanna be with you.” He gestured passionately and spoke with such conviction that Ella was almost rendered speechless with shock.

Gathering her thoughts, she began to shake her head slowly. “You don’t love me, Jess.”

“Of course I do!” he exclaimed. “I’ve been in love with you for two years!”

She gave him a doubtful glance.

“Since that day in the gazebo! I’ve thought about it over and over! When you took my hand, and you showed me the hydrangeas through the hole in the roof, and you told me you didn’t care whether I went to college! And you took off your heels to walk home, right before you left for New Britain. And I’ve loved you every second of every day since!”

“Oh really?” she asked, voice growing tense. “You loved me when you left without saying anything? You loved me when I went a month without knowing whether you were alive or dead? You loved me then?”

Jess bowed his head slightly and sighed again. “Yes. I loved you so much then. And I love you now. I’m sorry, Elle. Okay? I know you couldn’t count on me then, but you can now! I’m here! I’m right here!”

Biting the inside of her cheek, Ella only kept shaking her head. “Jess, you can’t do this to me. I can’t do this.”

“Yes, you can. You can do anything. You’ve always been able to do anything! And I know you want this, too! I know you love me!” he continued, tone pleading now.

Tears sprang up and spilled over in Ella’s eyes before she could stop them, and she wiped angrily at her cheeks. “Please stop.”

“Look, I know you’re scared-”

“No, Jess, you don’t know!” she interrupted, voice raised to a yell. “You don’t know! You were gone. Overnight. Just gone. And you didn’t call for a month! I didn’t know where you were! You left! Just like everyone! Just like my fucking mom! And my older brother! And you broke my heart!”

For a moment, the air stood stagnant and charged between them. Crickets and cicadas hummed outside. Stray yells, noises from the wedding party, still sounded in the distance. Jess sniffled and blinked back tears. Ella wiped furiously at her cheeks. Soon, she had her elbows on her knees and was hiding her face in her hands.

“Eleanor, please, I’m so sorry! I was so lost! Luke kicked me out and I didn’t know what to do! And I did leave you. But not forever!”

Ella gave a muffled, bitter chuckle.

“I wanna be with you! For the rest of my life! But not here. Not in this place. Not in Stars Hollow! We can start new!” he said, voice strained with emotion.

Raising her head to face him again, Ella clutched at her necklace. “I can’t leave, Jess. My little brother’s still here, I’m starting summer classes in a week, I-”

“It’s not about him. It’s not about them. It’s about you and me. It’s about what we want! You already left your place! Everything you own is in your backseat! You’re ready! Let’s go!”

“No!”

“I love you, Elle. I know you love me too! You say you don’t believe in it, but I know it’s not true! You love me and we love each other and we’re supposed to be together! Let’s go!”

Still, she shook her head vehemently.

“No, Jess!” she shouted, louder than she expected to. She had stopped trying to hide her crying. Her tone was cracked. “No! You don’t get to come here and try to save me! I don’t need any saving! We said no cop outs! We said we were gonna try! And you left without trying! I’m not falling for it again!”

Jess, too, had tears streaming down his cheeks. “Eleanor, I can fix it. I promise, I-”

“Don’t Eleanor me, Jess! It’s too late! You promised before and you left me! Fuck and run! And I should’ve known!” she exclaimed hotly. She raked her hands through her hair, pausing, but it seemed Jess might have nothing more to say. “I think you should go.”

His jaw tensed, and a crestfallen look appeared on his face. “Eleanor, you know we love each other. Please...please just come with me.”

Breathing a broken sigh, Ella averted her gaze from him, dejected. Her heart twisted painfully. She almost couldn’t take it. She stared at her hands, wringing them together in her lap. “It doesn’t matter anymore, Jess. Sometimes love isn’t enough.”

Mouth agape, Jess stared at her in the lamplight. She loved him. He loved her. They both knew it. But her voice, with no affection for him in it. Nothing at all but sorrow. And it clicked in his mind. He would never have her again. He’d done exactly what he’d promised not to do; and he would forever pay the price. She could hold a grudge like it was her job, Luke had said. Patience, Lorelai had said. He hadn’t listened. Maybe he deserved love, as the book said, but not from her. As he walked out without another word, he didn’t slam the door. He shut it gently behind him. And a cold stone of grief sat heavy in Ella’s stomach. She sat on the couch, weeping, until the birds chirped and the sun rose.