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vanteguccir · 1 year ago

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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤLABYRINTH * CHRIS STURNIOLO

SUMMARY　::　where Y/N tries to save their relationship, but Chris's fear of commitment seems to stop them from moving forward.

FEATURING 　Chris Sturniolo x reader　REQUESTED?　yes.

WARNINGS　::　crying, fighting, dark thoughts, insecurities, angst (with a happy ending).

AUTHOR'S NOTE　::　that is my work, I DON'T authorize any form of plagiarism; copy, "inspiration" or translation! | english isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

Y/N looked at her phone, waiting for a message that never arrived. It was another lonely night, sitting in her bed, with her heart heavy with anguish. Her relationship with Chris started out like a fairy tale, but in recent days, everything seemed to be slowly falling apart.

She couldn't understand what was happening. There was a growing distance between them, as if Chris was moving away from her heart, plunging into an abyss of silence. The calls were becoming less and less frequent, the face-to-face moments rare and full of tension, the last one being the worst they had ever had.

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Y/N walked down the hallway of Chris's house with a hesitant but happy heart. They hadn't seen each other for days, and she had noticed how distant he was in his texts, which made her want to visit him and spend the day together, maybe understand what had happened and help him with whatever he needed.

Entering the room she had frequented too many times to even count, she found Chris sitting on his own bed, his gaze lost somewhere in the distance. She quickly opened an involuntary smile, perhaps lighting up the room - as Chris said she always did - but he barely looked at her, his lips curling in a gesture of disdain.

"Hey baby." Y/N muttered softly, trying to ignore the feeling of rejection that enveloped her almost instantly.

"Hey." The brunette replied coldly, his voice cutting like a sharp blade.

Y/N tried to make conversation, she really did. She asked about his day, about how he was feeling, but Chris's answers were short and harsh. He seemed to avoid her at all costs, as if her mere presence was a nuisance.

The pain inside Y/N grew with every second that passed in that house that until days ago had been her refuge. She felt like a stranger in her own skin, an intruder in her own relationship.

As Chris continued to ignore her, the voice in her mind began to scream, hurling cruel accusations at herself. She found herself questioning her own worth, her own ability to love and be loved.

Tears threatened to overflow her eyes, but she fought to keep them contained. She didn't want to give Chris the satisfaction of watching her break, of watching her succumb to the pain he himself inflicted on her.

When it was finally time to leave, Y/N felt relief mixed with despair. She didn't know if she could stand another second in that place, surrounded by Chris's indifference.

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Y/N really felt like she was holding on to a fragile rope, about to snap at any moment.

Meanwhile, Chris struggled through a storm of turbulent thoughts. Fear consumed him, dragging him away from the love he had found in Y/N. He found himself trapped in a cycle of self-destruction, fueled by his own insecurities and trauma. It all started when he realized that he loved her, he fell in love... Again.

Each unanswered message was a sharp knife piercing his soul, but he couldn't muster the courage to face his fears. Commitment was a monster that had haunted him since teenage days, a dark shadow that followed him even in his happiest moments.

He found himself questioning everything: his choices, his desires, even the very love he felt for Y/N, he didn't believe he had allowed himself to love her. Would it be fair to drag her into his darkness, condemning her to a life of uncertainty and pain? Or would it be nobler to walk away from her, leaving her free to find someone who could offer her the love she deserved?

The nights became endless for Chris, a constant battle between his head and his heart. He found himself lost in a labyrinth of doubts, struggling to find a way out but only sinking deeper into darkness.

Meanwhile, Y/N desperately tried to understand what was happening. They were just reaching the 3-month mark of their relationship, everything falling apart so suddenly, and so she blamed herself, questioned her own faults, trying to find an explanation for Chris's distance.

Maybe he had finally woken up and saw that she wasn't good enough for him. Maybe he had discovered he wasn't ready for a relationship. Or maybe... Maybe he had found someone else, the ideal and perfect woman.

But the answer was beyond her reach, hidden in the dark recesses of his mind.

And so, the gulf between them continued to grow, separating them more and more. It was a silent tragedy, a love lost in the shadows of doubt and fear. As Y/N struggled to stay afloat, Chris found himself diving deeper and deeper, moving away from the only ray of light in his life.

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Y/N took a deep breath before knocking on the door of the triplets' house. Nick's invitation to spend the day there seemed like a ray of hope amid the darkness that consumed her soul. She knew that seeing Chris again would be painful after their last encounter, but the simple possibility of being close to him was enough to make her accept it.

Nick greeted her with a warm smile, but Y/N could barely return it. Her heart was beating wildly as she entered the place that transformed into a stage of pain and uncertainty. Every corner of the house seemed to echo with happy memories, but now those memories were like thorns piercing her skin.

She could feel Chris' gaze on her as she reached the living room floor, but when she turned to face him, he looked away at the turned off television, acting as if she were invisible.

Anguish grew inside Y/N every time she and Nick left his room, and inevitably, as if life was playing a trick on Y/N, came face to face with Chris. She found herself struggling to find words to break the oppressive silence that hung over them both. But Chris remained distant, his eyes empty, his expression impassive, monotonously answering Nick's questions.

She felt like a ghost...

Nick noticed the tension in the air at some point and tried to intervene, but Y/N just shook her head, unable to articulate the pain that consumed her. She felt like a helpless spectator to her own tragedy.

The day dragged on slowly, every minute an unbearable torture. Y/N tried to find comfort in the memories of the happy times she had shared with Chris, but now those memories were like sharp knives, cutting deep into her soul.

Nick found himself looking at Y/N all the time with a worried expression. He knew something was wrong, but Y/N dodged the topic every time he asked, as if he was stabbing her in the chest with a dagger, deciding to just force a smile, swallowing the words burning in her throat.

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Y/N walked down the stairs with hesitant steps, determined to get a glass of water from the kitchen, but afraid of finding her own boyfriend - how ironic - without Nick by her side.

Upon reaching the room, her eyes quickly found the figure she knew more than herself, sitting in one of the chairs, his arms resting on the wooden table and his hands holding his phone tightly.

Y/N allowed herself to watch him for long seconds, before closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, walking to the fridge, opening it while trying to ignore the feeling that her heart was being crushed in her chest.

"Hey." Her voice came out lower and more broken than she expected, making her wonder if he even heard it.

It's not like he'd answer anything, anyway.

She knew he would ignore her, as he had done all day, but a part of her still longed for a glimpse of the love they once shared.

As she filled her glass with water, the voice in her mind began screaming again, hurling cruel accusations against herself and her relationship.

Obviously, he's going to ignore you. He finally understands that you're just a broken piece to his perfect life.

You are not enough for him. He needs a strong, independent, and self-assured woman, not a scared little girl worn out by life like you.

Wake up, Y/N, he doesn't want you anymore.

You were a mistake.

A terrible mistake.

She found herself sinking into an abyss of self-deprecation, unable to find a way out.

It was then that something inside her broke. A wave of anger and sadness flooded her, filling her with a sudden determination. She dropped the half-full glass on the counter and turned to face Chris, her eyes brimming with pain and indignation.

"Chris." Y/N called, her voice shaking with suppressed emotion, coming out in a more vulnerable tone than she intended. "Can we talk? Please."

Chris blinked, clearly surprised by Y/N's sudden call. His eyes met hers, but he didn't say anything, just waited, as if he feared the words that might fall from his own lips.

He didn't expect her to keep trying.

Y/N felt tears burning in her eyes at the sight of him silent, expressionless, but she fought to hold her ground. She knew she needed to express the emotions that had been stifled within herself. If he didn't want her anymore, that was fine. She understood, but she needed him to formalize the situation.

"I don't know what's going on between us." She continued, clearing her throat, her voice becoming firmer as the words flowed. "But I can't live in this limbo of uncertainty anymore. I deserve better than to be ignored, Chris. We deserve better than this. I want to understand what's going on. What did I do?"

Chris remained staring at her for a few more seconds before lowering his gaze, unable to bear the intensity in Y/N's eyes. He found himself entangled in a web of regret and fear, unable to find the right words to express her feelings.

"I know I've been distant." He finally muttered, his voice thick with pain and his shoulders slumped. "And I'm sorry for that, Y/N. I just... I've been thinking, and I don't know if this is right anymore."

Chris' words cut Y/N like a sharp knife. That was it. He was going to break up with her. It would all come to an end.

She knew it.

"It's okay, it's not your fault." Y/N admitted finally. "It was... It was just a mistake... Right?"

Chris allowed his eyes to run over Y/N's weakened posture, his brow furrowed at her words.

"What was a mistake?"

"Us. We were a mistake...for you, at least." The girl sighed deeply after finishing her sentence, as if something large enough crushed her heart and lungs at the same time, hurting her and taking away all her air.

"No! What? No, honey, you were never a mistake. We... we are not a mistake, I promise you that." Chris perked up, jumping up from his seat, ready to walk over to Y/N, but his feet remained stuck against the floor, preventing him from even moving a centimeter.

"Then why, Chris? Why are you treating me like I'm a stranger? You keep pushing me away even though I try to get closer." She questioned him, thick, fat tears welling up in her eyes, running down her cheeks freely. "God, I did everything in my power to understand you, to talk to you and to make you feel welcomed, despite all the things and affirmations I needed from you too, I don't know anymore-" Her voice was already weakening when a loud and rude sob interrupted her own sentence, her right hand quickly rising towards her slightly open mouth, covering it, trying uselessly to stop the unwelcomed crying.

"Dove, please, I'm sorry for making you feel this way, I don't..." He shook his head, letting out an nervous laugh as his right hand flew to his own face, his index finger and thumb pressing the bridge of his nose, trying to stop his own tears from falling. "It was never my intention. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I just..." The boy's tone became extremely low too quickly, Y/N needing to hold her breath to hear him clearly. "I'm just scared."

"Scared? Scared of what? Do I make you feel scared?"

Chris swallowed hard, feeling the weight of Y/N's words like an anchor in his heart. He knew he needed to be honest with her, even if it meant facing his own demons.

"Scared of commitment... of giving myself completely to someone and ending up hurting myself in the process." His voice was a fragile whisper, loaded with vulnerability. "I know it's not fair to you, Y/N. You deserve someone who can give you the world, someone who isn't afraid to love. But I don't know if I'm that someone."

Y/N's tears continued to fall, a mixture of sadness and frustration that she could barely contain. She wanted to scream, to hit Chris, to demand a clear and definitive explanation. But deep down, she understood his fears, his traumas.

"I understand you're scared, Chris." Her voice was soft now, tinged with compassion, her hands drying her tear-soaked eyelashes roughly, sniffling before speaking again. "And I don't judge you for that, I just needed you to be clear with me, that you trust me enough to talk to me when things get tough. I don't care if you have that fear, I would never invalidate your feelings." She shook her head quickly, as if she wanted to make that clear. "I just wanted to talk, to understand. You left me in the dark."

Chris pressed his lips into a thin line, his eyes brimming with emotion as his left hand went to his own hair, ruffling the strands. He knew Y/N was right.

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, baby, I-" The boy took a deep breath, blinking quickly, trying futilely to ward off the tears that wouldn't stop welling up in his eyes. "I tried so hard to make you hate me. It would make everything easier, right? You would get tired at some point and give up. Give up on me. But I just ended up hurting you..." Chris shook his head, biting his bottom lip hard, the metallic taste of blood flooding his mouth within seconds. "You were breaking up with me, weren't you?" His voice sounded too close to a sob, his lower lip, now hurt, trembling at the thought of no longer having her as his girl, even though that was the plan from the beginning.

"I just thought it was what you wanted. You made it so explicit, Chris. How could I think of any other alternative than that?"

"I'm not too late, am I? To solve this?" His eyes looked like they were close to popping out of his skull when he finally managed to move and was able to walk towards Y/N with quick steps, grabbing her hands pleadingly. "I want to solve this... I'm sorry for what I've put you through these last few days, and I know that just saying sorry won't erase everything that I done, but I'll take care of it. I will take care of you. Please, dove."

"I need to ask you one thing first, Chris. Are you ready to stay in this relationship? I can help you and understand you, but there's no point in trying if you don't genuinely feel ready for this." Y/N explained sincerely, her heart aching with the contact of his skin against her own. She missed his touch so much.

"I do, I want you, only you, all of you, always! Please... please, babe, I-I know that I don't deserve it, but please give me a chance to make this right, to do this properly. Give me the chance to love you the way you deserve." Chris begged, squeezing his girlfriend's fingers between his own, involuntarily pulling her closer. "I want to try again, but properly this time. I want to fight my fears, my demons. And I want to do it with you by my side. Everything seemed so real now. Seeing you trying to break up with me made me realize that I can't see myself without you, I can't."

Y/N kept her eyes fixed on his for long seconds, searching for any trace of doubt, hesitation or lie on his face red and wet with tears, but she could only find a strong mix of hope and love.

She knew the road ahead would be difficult, full of challenges and uncertainty. But for the first time in a long time, she felt a spark of hope light up.

"Okay."

"Yeah? Really?" A low sob escaped Chris's mouth, fat tears rolling down his rosy cheek from the strong emotions in a short space of time, his heart racing strongly against his chest.

"Yeah. I don't want to lose you, so let's do this together." She whispered.

The boy let out a sigh of relief through tears, a small smile taking over his lips in seconds, his hands working to pull hers closer, consequently bringing her body close to his, engulfing her into a tight hug.

"I'm gonna do this right this time."

And she believed him.

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