#That last one is actually meant to be Max but it's open to interpretation :)

[sysig]

One better (Patreon)

[impostorsshow]

Uh, let’s see, random made-up fanfic title…

Don’t Be The Hero, Be My Hero

(I kicked ideas around for like AT LEAST 10 minutes before coming up with this idea and settling on it. It does feel a little vague, or open to interpretation, but I feel really proud of it.)

I know Sam and Max and Legend of Zelda and would be most interested in that, could also get myself invested in a Sonic fanfic because I’m dipping my toes into that pool, don’t know much about DSAF or Invader Zim beyond the surface to really get into a fanfic about those.

Oooo, I like this one [for the record all of these would be one shots]

For Sam and max, I immediately think of a standard 305 fic, either Sam pleading with max [or like his super ego British guy] to just let them save him, but Max. Y'know, it's inevitable, Max's super ego is too stubborn, too set on the idea of being an altruist to make up for all the times Max never listened to him, and Sam is just. Forced to leave him behind. He knows Max knows he hates that the city is being destroyed, but Max is his world and he wouldn't care if it meant he kept Max - this fic could either end when Sam goes to check on Sybil after Max's super ego just won't budge, or right after Max blows up, before Sam leaves to take a walk.

I see very easily why this could be legend of Zelda [heroes duh] but tthere's likem so many way this could be taken with every version of Zelda being sad over link, so let me instead offer a role reversal. Specifically, let me offer something about bots and totk, despite having not finished the game - from what I'm aware of, Zelda dies, never makes it into the future again and stuck in the past? Maybe becomes the blonde dragon? So a fic about link mourning his Zelda, a Zelda that knew so much of him and yet he got to spend so little time of, leaving her time against her will and never being able to see her knight again. Zelda is the only one who knew of the link in the past that he could talk to, and when she died, a part of him died as well, for the second time and permanently. And in case I'm wrong about that, it could be a fic of link slowly finding the memories of Zelda after his reawakening, and the title of the fic is the last line, and the first line of dialogue Link speaks, whispering into Zeldas shoulder after defeating dark ganon, pleading with her to never risk herself for hyrule again [something that would be happy, but is turned bittersweet by totk existing] honorable mention here is a fic about shadow breaking the mirror in the four swords manga, maybe a vioshadow fanfiction because god im a sucker for that, as much as i am a sucker for all 5 of them being brothers [though obviously those two headcanons can't coexist]. Might actually write that later I'll update this post if if I do.

Also, a sonic fic would definitely be tails, though I'm having trouble thinking of exactly where in the timeline, maybe after the whole dark Gaia thing and sonic not being able to sleep and all of that. Tails just wants him to stop focusing on everything else, to focus on himself for once. Or actually that would work really well for sonic boom, just pick your most hated episode and put it as a fluff one shot after that.

[mandoalorian]

I Believe In Love [Maxwell Lord x F!Reader] — Six: Wonder

Summary: When you find your calling to leave Themyscira, you venture out to the World of Man with intentions of helping and healing a very specific person's relationship with his son. You've heard his voice before, but only in dreams. You've felt his pain and anguish and you've never been able to relate to anything more. But things don't come easy for you, and they certainly don't come easy for him either. [This series contains spoilers for WW84 and is my interpretation of what happens after the movie ends].

Warnings: mentions of food and drink, tooth-rotting fluff and as always, a smidge of angst

Word count: 5,200>

Masterlist

Previous - Chapter Six - Next

A beam of golden sunlight shone through the small crack in the curtain, warming your exposed skin, waking you up. Maxwell was still sleeping, lightly snoring and his bare chest rising and falling underneath you. You noticed that his cozy sweater from the night before had been discarded on the floor by the bed, but he was still wearing his pants, and his arm was lazily draped around your body. He held you close and tight, like he was afraid to let you go. You snuggled into him, relishing the moment and hoping it would never end. But you were awake, and it was a new day, and you had a lot to do.

You slipped out of Max’s arms, careful not to wake him up, and smiled when you remembered the night before. Kissing a man, a man like him, felt like a dream come true. It was something you had only imagined when you had read tales of it back on Themyscira. But it was even better than you thought. His lips were sweet like honey and his touch was strong yet gentle. It was perfect, and you wished for the moment it could happen again. Realising you were still completely naked, you glanced into Maxwell’s walk-in closet and wondered if you were entitled to select something out to wear. You figured it would be rude to do so without asking him, so you picked up his forest green sweater that he wore yesterday and pulled it over your body. 

You padded back downstairs into the dining room and grabbed a notepad and pen. You noted that Maxwell kept one near the front door of his home. Sitting at the table, you opened up the book. You had six days until the court date. Six days to figure out a way to bring Maxwell and Alistair together for good this time. But you had no idea where to begin. You knew nothing about the legal system or how this kind of thing worked. Back on Themyscira, if Hippolyta wished to gain justice, she would simply use the lasso of truth. You were there, many years ago, when she used the lasso on Captain Steve Trevor. You hadn’t met the pilot, only heard from your mother Hestia who provided Hippolyta with the lasso, but apparently, he revealed himself to be a spy. You considered it. You considered the implications of using your lasso in court, but doing so in front of so many people would mean you’d have to give up your powers. There had to be another way. Before you could put pen on paper, you gasped, feeling a pair of hands grab your waist.

“Good morning.” you heard Maxwell from behind you. His voice was low and husky in the morning and he was grinning, feeling happier than he’d felt in such a long time.

“Good morning handsome.” you smiled, turning around in your chair and looking up at him with doe eyes. His dark blonde hair was still wavy and disheveled, and he was wearing a plain, light grey t-shirt. It fit tight around his biceps and really highlighted the broadness of his shoulders. He looked really, really good. You spotted a pink blush creep upon Maxwell’s cheeks at your compliment.

“You look nice in my sweater,” he noticed, tugging on it slightly. “What are you doing there?”

“Oh, I was trying to figure out an approach for the court case this Sunday,” you frowned, biting your lip. “Do you think we could get one of those lawyer things like Theodore mentioned?”

“This short notice? I doubt it. But I can have Raquel make some phone calls and she’ll see what she can do. I uh- I appreciate you doing this for me. You don’t have to.” Maxwell said sheepishly, running his ring clad fingers through his hair.

You stood up from your seat and walked over to him, wrapping your arms around his body and holding him close. You pressed a kiss into his lips. He tasted just as sweet as the night before, and the skin was just as soft. “I like doing that.” you told Maxwell, completely dismissing what he said before. “Kissing you. I mean.”

Maxwell tucked a piece of hair behind your ear and cupped your face. He ran his thumb over the height of your cheekbone and stared at you in complete admiration. “I like it too,” he agreed, his voice quiet as he leaned in and kissed you again, this time swiping his tongue over your lower lip. He was so good at it, and you wondered how many women he’d kissed before. You loved the way the curve of his nose pressed against your skin and how his eyes would flutter shut as his senses overwhelmed him. You loved the way his hands navigated around your body like it was simply just meant to be. When he pulled away, it was to catch breath, and he pressed his forehead against yours. “Let me make you breakfast.” he whispered.

“Or we could just keep kissing?” you suggested, already tugging on his hair for another one. He smiled, planting a quick peck against your lips and pulled away again.

“Believe me, I want that more than anything,” he exhaled shakily, dragging his hands up and down your arms. “But you haven’t eaten since you got here. You must be hungry. What did you eat on Themyscira?”

“Hmm, fruit? Berries? We picked them fresh from the bushes every morning and they’d last us the rest of the day.” you told him and he nodded slowly.

“Well we don’t have berries, but I can do you scrambled eggs,” Maxwell shrugged, already grabbing a few eggs from the refrigerator. “Is that okay?”

“What kind of eggs…” you said, narrowing your eyes.

“Uh… chicken eggs?” Maxwell shrugged, holding an egg up into the light to analyse it.

“You eat chicken eggs?!” You gasped, your eyes widening in disbelief.

“Yeah?!” Maxwell replied, trying to suppress a grin at your reaction. “So many people do! We crack a few, whisk it and put it in a pan!” You slapped your hands over your mouth feeling shocked. Maxwell chuckled, putting the eggs back and taking your hands, pulling them away from your face. “You’re adorable, you know that?”

You scrunched up your nose. “I don’t want chicken eggs for breakfast.” you mumbled.

“That’s okay,” Max nodded. “I can do oatmeal or pancakes, or we have cereal. Check that cupboard over there.” He said, pointing in the general direction to a cupboard by the kitchen sink. You followed his finger and opened the wooden door. Inside the cupboard were a few boxes of opened miscellaneous cereal. One box in particular caught your intention. It was a red box decorated with a rainbow and a leprechaun and the words read in a bold yellow font ‘Lucky Charms’. You brought it out and presented it to Max with an eager grin. “Oh, those are Alistair’s favourite,” Max grinned, taking out a bowl, spoon and carton of milk. “Help yourself.”

You smiled with gratitude and dug your hand in the box, grabbing a handful of cereal. You looked close at the little oat pieces mixed with the multi-coloured marshmallow bits, even bringing them close to your nose to smell. They were sweet, and the vibrancy of the marshmallows intrigued you. You tried a pink one and moaned as the sugary texture dissolved in your mouth. Max looked over to you as he brewed his coffee, his eyes wide as he watched you eat the cereal out of your hands. “No no no,” he chastised softly, placing his mug back down on the counter and walking over to you. He put the cereal box in your hands and unscrewed the cap on the carton of milk. “Pour some of it in the bowl, and then pour the milk over the top. Then you eat it with a spoon.” he taught you.

“Oh,” you sighed knowingly, understanding why he’d brought out the other utensils and ingredients for you. As he turned back to his coffee, you tried one of the oat pieces. They didn’t taste as nice as the marshmallows, so you put the rest of the oat pieces back into the box and picked out only the sweet soft bits of cereal, dropping them into the bowl. You poured the milk over, careful not to spill any, just like he’d told you. “I’m getting good at this!”

“You are!” Maxwell laughed, sitting down next to you with his mug of coffee and a few slices of toast. He peeked into your bowl and shook his head. “You’re just like Alistair,” he rolled his eyes. “He only eats the marshmallows.”

“Of course he does,” you giggled, taking a spoonful of your selective cereal. “They’re delicious.”

“So I was thinking about the dreamstone,” Maxwell said, taking a sip of his coffee. “If I was possessed by Romulus, the dreamstone would have been Roman. Which means the remaining dreamstone belonged to Dolos, meaning it’s Greek. But how do we find it?”

“If only we knew someone who could help,” you sighed, shaking your head. “Someone who knows about this kind of stuff just as much as we do.”

You stared down into your bowl of cereal, watching as the colour drained from the marshmallows and created rainbow swirls in your milk.

“Actually,” Maxwell exhaled, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. “There is someone.” The thought of going to see that someone again, swarmed Max with fear and dread.

“Well- who?” you asked, dropping your spoon into the bowl with a clank.

“Diana.” Maxwell replied nervously.

“Diana Princess of Themyscira?!” You gasped, your jaw dropping.

“I’m pretty sure she goes by Diana Prince but-”

“Max you’re a genius! Where can we find her?” You stood up abruptly.

“Listen, I’m not sure if it’s a good idea. The last time I saw her… I mean it was only a few days ago but it was not good.”

You took Max’s hand and pulled him up. “Diana is forgiving. Whatever happened, she holds no judgement, I assure you that,” you reassured him. “Diana could be the key to knowing where the final dreamstone is.”

Max nodded, sighing in defeat. You were right and he knew it. “She works at the Smithsonian museum. It opens to the public at nine, so we have a few hours to kill, but we’ll get down there as soon as possible.”

You smiled and enveloped him into a hug. “Thank you.” you murmured, squeezing him tightly.

“It’s okay,” he promised, hugging you back. “But there is something I gotta ask you about.”

“What is it?”

“I haven’t been out much since I renounced my wish. I went to the park with Alistair, and then Black Gold, and visited Julianna, but that’s it. I’ve been hiding from the world, living in fear that I’ll have to face some kind of repercussion for my actions. It only makes sense, right? I’m thinking about federal prison. Maybe even get sentenced to death. That’s if someone doesn’t see me on the street and kills me. But I don’t get it. I haven’t been noticed. Nobody cares. Julianna didn’t mention any of it to me, and she loves to bring up all my mistakes. Trust me. It’s just… there’s something not right.” Maxwell exclaimed. It was crazy. You were the only one he trusted to talk about this to. “I’m not sure,” you hummed, understanding his concern. “Maybe Diana will know?”

“Maybe,” Maxwell sighed. “I’m just worried about even being allowed in the Smithsonian. I kinda stole the dreamstone by nefarious means,” You tilted your head and frowned. “No don’t look at me like that!” Max pouted, raising both his eyebrows at you.

“Like what?” you questioned.

“Like you’re disappointed in me,” Maxwell huffed, running his hand through his hair. “I just want to make all of this right.”

“And you will,” you promised him. “We will. Together.”

Every little word you spoke, every action you took, filled his heart with warmth. You gave his life meaning and your presence made him feel a sense of belonging. You really cared about him. You were literally like his guardian angel, only instead coming from heaven, you’d come from the magical land of Themyscira.

“I guess if we have a few hours to kill… we should finish breakfast and find you some clothes. Something decent to wear,” Maxwell shrugged. “I don’t like the idea of leaving the house but I don’t think we have a choice,” he hummed, looking down at his green sweater that was draped over your body. You couldn’t just live in his shirts. You couldn’t keep walking around town, pant-less. And you certainly couldn’t wear your Amazonian warrior tunic and armour. “My tailor who makes my suits has her own boutique just off East Ave, I’m sure we can find something suitable.”

“It’ll be open this early?” you asked, crooking your head.

“They live there. Whenever I’ve needed last minute alterations before a charity event or gala, I’ve relied on them. Visited them during the early hours of the morning and Belinda- oh, she’s simply just a star. She works quickly and efficiently,” Maxwell praised, grabbing his car keys. He threw a coat in your direction and you quick Amazonian reflexes meant that you caught it in an instant. You smiled and mumbled a thank you before sliding your arms into his coat and zipping it up. You put on your gladiator sandals and met Maxwell in the car outside.

The journey was short, and you even vaguely recognised the area from your visit to Black Gold Cooperative. Maxwell fiddled with some buttons on the dashboard when he stopped at a red light. “What are you do-”

A loud booming melody cut you off and you jumped back into your seat. 

“So don't become some background noise, a backdrop for the girls and boys, who just don't know, or just don't care, and just complain when you're not there, You had your time, you had the power, you've yet to have your finest hour, radio…” 

“What is that?” you gasped and Max laughed, turning a knob down so the voice quietened down.

“You must’ve had music on Themyscira,” he chuckled. “That is Queen.”

“The Queen?!” You practically choked. “If I heard Queen Hippolyta sing like that I-”

“No,” Maxwell laughed, unable to hide his smile. “Just Queen. They’re a band. They sing songs and play instruments.” 

“What do they sing about?” You quizzed curiously and Maxwell adjusted the volume once more. 

“Listen.” he urged, pressing down on the ignition and drove away as the light turned green.

“All we hear is radio ga ga, radio goo goo, radio ga ga,” 

You sighed and rolled your eyes. “Ga ga and goo goo? That makes no sense.”

“Keep listening!”

“Radio what’s new, radio someone still loves you.” 

“It’s about love.” you smiled, feeling your cheeks heat up. You placed your hand on your heart. You loved that behind the baby-ish words, the song had a meaning so beautiful and powerful. It really illustrated that love was still the most important thing in the whole world. Maxwell’s voice brought you out of your deep chain of thought.

“Actually I think it’s about the commercialization of radio stations-” Maxwell exclaimed and looked at you in the reflection of the rear view mirror. Your smile fell and you looked even more perplexed by his words. What was he thinking? Of course you wouldn’t understand the ins and outs of how MTV had destroyed modern radio. So he decided to compromise. “Yeah okay, you’re right,” he shrugged, pursing his lips into a fine line to refrain from smiling. “It’s about love.” 

You smiled once more, subconsciously swaying to the rhythm. Max couldn’t stop watching you. You were so pure, and you looked at this world with so much joy and compassion. You were always so excited to learn new things and it was so endearing. If anything, it made Maxwell want to be more like you. You helped him not take things for granted. By the time Queen sung the final verse, you had already familiarised yourself with the words, even changing some and earning a few laughs out of Maxwell. As the song finished you pointed your finger at Max who was just pulling up outside the boutique. “Maxwell Lord what’s new? Maxwell, someone still loves you!” You sang, before pressing a kiss into his jaw and then pulling back with the biggest, cheesiest grin.

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” Max returned the smile but he couldn’t help but think about your words. Of course you were just quoting the song, but you had deliberately directed the lyrics towards him. He sighed, not having time to over think. But what if you loved him back? It sounded too good to be true. “C’mon, we’re here.” 

The boutique was beautiful inside. It was small, but filled with racks on racks of clothing. In every corner there were golden framed mirrors and an array of different flowers. The old lady, who you assumed to be the owner, was waiting half asleep by the cashier. When Max opened the front door, a little bell jingled, alerting her and waking her up.

“Oh, Mr Lord! How lovely it is to see you!” the old lady exclaimed, pottering over to Maxwell and shaking his hand. She must have only been about four foot, her perfect grey hair in tight curls and her glasses perched on the curve of her petite nose.

“Good morning Belinda,” Maxwell greeted with a charming smile. It was the same smile you recognised from when he was on television. “I’m sorry for dropping by so early. This is my friend,” Maxwell said, pushing you forward gently and introducing you by name. “She’s visiting just for 4th of July weekend and her luggage got lost at the airport so we’ll be needing a few things for her to wear.”

You waved shyly. “Oh darling, what a beautiful young girl you are!” Belinda exclaimed, pinching your cheeks excitedly. She then turned to Max, leaning into him. “You sure she’s just a friend? She’s wonderful. Definitely a keeper,” Belinda laughed and you giggled alongside her as Max stayed silent and only blushed. “Let me take your measurements and I’ll see what I can do.” Belinda told you, already grabbing some tape and sculpting your body to a suitable position. “Where do you come from, dear?”

“Themyscira.” You smiled.

“Them-a-what?” Belinda asked. “Oh pardon me, I’ve never heard of such a place.”

“Uh- small town!” Maxwell lied before you could reply. “Not really important.”

“I see,” Belinda said, holding up different materials against your body. “How long have you known Mr. Lord?” 

You looked over at Max and your smile grew wider. “Honestly, it feels like forever.” you told Belinda, finding yourself lost in Maxwell’s chocolate brown eyes. He was completely mesmerizing. It was true. You might’ve only known Max for two days but you already knew so much about him. He’d been haunting your dreams and thoughts for weeks before you’d even visited the world of man. You saw his past. You knew about his struggles. He told you things that he’d never told anyone else before. 

“Lucky for you I have Ralph Lauren’s new summer collection! They just shipped to us yesterday. I know that the colours will compliment your skin tone perfectly. They’re just out back, let me go grab them.” Belinda announced before padding away.

“Thank you.” Maxwell called after her.

“Who’s Ralph Lauren?” You asked, walking over to Max who was sitting on a sofa reading the business section of a broadsheet newspaper. You slipped down next to him and shuffled close.

“He’s a designer.” Max informed you, flicking to the next page of the paper.

“What are you reading?” you asked curiously, snuggling into Maxwell and leaning your head on his shoulder so you could take a look.

“Boring economic stuff,” Maxwell sighed. “Not sure why considering my business is broke now anyway. But this stuff is good to know.”

“What is the Cold War?” you frowned, reading the headline.

“Uh, there’s a war going on right now between us and the Soviet Union.” Maxwell sighed, narrowing his eyes as he focused on a piece of information presented in one of the columns.

“Us?”

“The US, United States of America.” Max confirmed with a scowl before turning the page again.

“A war… that’s impossible. Ares is dead.” you mumbled to yourself, feeling horrified. You hadn’t even noticed. You’d spent two whole days in the world of man and you would have never suspected that there was a war going on.

You pondered his words before Belinda came out holding a pile of clothes. “These should fit you perfectly,” Belinda exclaimed, shoving them into a paper bag for you.

“Will you be paying with your company card today?” Belinda asked, turning to Maxwell. 

Maxwell winced, knowing that his company had absolutely no money. “Uh- no. Personal please,” Max requested, taking out his wallet. This would be coming out of his own savings which probably wasn’t very smart but, you were worth it. “While I pay, would you mind getting changed in the dressing room?” Maxwell asked of you. “And then we can go to the Smithsonian.”

You nodded, taking the paper bag filled with clothing and navigating yourself to the store’s dressing room.

“Ooh, the Smithsonian museum huh?” Belinda asked as she registered each item of clothing into the till.

“Yeah, she’s never been before,” Maxwell hummed, his anxiety rising now that it was just him and Belinda alone. Of course the little lady wasn’t going to do anything to him, but it was like you were his safety. He was beginning to rely on you more than he’d quite like to admit. “Belinda, can I ask you something?”

“Whatever is it, my dear?”

Maxwell sighed, wondering how to phrase his question. Just like Julianna, Belinda was acting like she had no idea what he’d done. “Where were you on the fourth of July?”

“At the shop, working of course.” Belinda replied.

“Ah, so you didn’t catch what was on the television?” Maxwell quizzed further.

“No, my dear.”

So she missed the broadcast completely. And Maxwell supposed there was a chance that Raquel, Julianna and Theodore missed the broadcast, although that did seem ever so unlikely. Even if they had missed it, one of Julianna’s gossip-y friends would have seen it and notified Julianna of Maxwell’s mischief. Something wasn’t adding up. He had to confront Diana about it.

Just as Maxwell finished paying, you stepped out of the dressing room wearing a white blouse tucked into a brown suede skirt. Of course you were still wearing your gladiator sandals, but they practically completed the look. 

“You look… wow.” Maxwell exclaimed. 

“Now it gets warm out there so here!” Belinda exclaimed, propping a pair of sunglasses on your head. “To protect your eyes!”

“You really look amazing.” Maxwell said, completely entranced by you. His gaze hadn’t left your body once. 

“Thank you Max,” you hummed in delight. “I like it a lot.”

“Good,” he whispered, shaking his head in disbelief. You really were the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. Belinda awkwardly cleared her throat, breaking the silence. “Right uh- thanks a lot for everything Belinda. But we better be going.” 

“No problem dear,” Belinda waved cheerily. “Have a great day my darlings!”

You slid back into the passenger seat of Maxwell’s car and watched as he put his own sunglasses on. You smiled and copied, letting the brown tinted glasses fall to the bridge of your nose. “These are cool.” you beamed.

“Yeah, they look good.” Maxwell complimented as he set off to the Smithsonian.

Luckily for the both of you, Maxwell spotted Diana when he first entered the lobby of the building. Just in case of being noticed (which he usually thrived in attention), he kept his sunglasses on. He couldn’t risk being arrested for his previous actions at the museum. Diana was dressed in a royal blue pant suit, her dark brown hair curled perfectly and bouncing off her shoulders. Her eyes sparkled like diamonds and she hadn’t aged a day since you last saw her on Themyscira.

“Diana!” you called, waving your hands ecstatically. Diana recognised your voice and her head snapped in your direction, her jaw parting in shock when she saw you. She questioned your name out loud, but she knew it was you. 

“Oh my goodness!” Diana cried, enveloping you into a hug. Maxwell stood a few feet behind you, rocking backwards and forwards anxiously. “What are you doing here?” She smiled, holding your hands and giving them a squeeze.

“I had my calling!” You revealed.

“I am so happy to hear that,” Diana grinned. “So who brought you the world of man?”

“A man, actually,” you laughed at the irony. “A man you might know. Uhm- Max Lord?”

Diana’s smile fell but her face softened when she saw Maxwell. “Ah yes, I’ve made his acquaintance.” She said, her voice vague and emotionless. Her glance flicked between you both.

“Hi Diana.” Maxwell waved shyly.

“How have you been?” Diana asked Maxwell, taking a few steps towards him.

“It’s been difficult, but I’m managing,” Maxwell admitted, hiding his face. “Listen, I never got the chance to thank you.”

“Don’t think anything of it,” Diana smiled. “Water under the bridge.” she promised before turning back to you. “Did you come to the museum to see me?”

“Yes, we did,” you sighed. “There’s another dreamstone out there and it is my duty from my mother to find it and destroy it. Otherwise, it could be responsible for society’s future collapse. History is known to repeat itself. If someone gets their hand on Dolos’ dreamstone, just like Max did, the same thing could happen.”

“I know all about it,” Diana frowned. “And I’m glad you’re here. I’ve been searching for the stone itself and I’ve found out it’s located in a secret cave, in Athens, Greece. If you want the stone, you’ll have to travel there.” 

“Is it far?” you asked, not liking the sounds of the proposition.

“Unfortunately, yes. We’d have to get a flight.” Maxwell notified you.

“I’m going to Athens too,” Diana informed you. “I can take you to the cave.”

“You’d do that?” you smiled graciously. “What are you going to Athens for?”

“The sword of Athena,” she exhaled. “There’s a terrible war going on and if I want to save the world from Ares again, I’m going to need that sword. Do you still have the lasso of Hestia?”

“I do.” you confirmed.

“Good, hold onto it. The lasso contains the power of the truth, and by destroying Dolos’ stone, you will be destroying the God of Lies. You can only destroy the stone with the truth. But Max knows all about that…” Diana trailed off, peeking back at Maxwell.

“Thank you Diana,” you smiled courteously and Diana nodded. “Will you be taking a flight with us?”

“I have to stay late at the Smithsonian tonight, so I’ll catch up with you in Athens tomorrow. I’ll find you, don’t worry.”

“Would you like us to get your plane tickets?” Maxwell asked, thinking it was the least he could do for Diana.

“That’s okay. I’ve recently learned I have my own way of flying.” She smirked and you smiled back knowingly. Maxwell just furrowed his eyebrows in bewilderment. Everything about this interaction made him confused and uncomfortable.

“Before we leave for the airport,” Maxwell spoke up, clearing his throat. “I have something to ask you, Diana.” “Yes?”

“No one has mentioned the broadcast to me.” Maxwell started but then stopped, feeling as though his words explained enough.

“I know.” Diana replied with a small nod.

“You know?” Maxwell quizzed.

“When I renounced my wish, Steve disappeared. I lost him again. But this morning, on my way to work, I ran into the man who possessed Steve’s body and we spoke for a short while. It’s like he never even knew me. Like we had never even met. He didn’t remember me. He didn’t know me. It was like… none of it ever happened.”

“What does that mean? Everyone who renounced their wish has forgotten?”

“Almost. When you renounced your wish, the world reverted back to the way it was before Romulus possessed you.” Diana explained and Maxwell couldn’t believe it.

“That doesn’t make sense. So I get away with all of this without consequence? That’s not fair.” 

“I think your consequence lies in your fate with Alistair.” Diana frowned sadly and Maxwell’s heart sank into the depths of his chest.

“No,” You shook your head profusely, interrupting their conversation. “Nothing bad is going to happen between Alistair and Max. I’m here to make sure that they stay together,” you turned to Maxwell and held his hand. “Julianna won’t split you apart. I mean it. I won’t let it happen.”

Maxwell let go off your hands and they dropped by your sides. “I’m going to wait by the car. I need some air.” Maxwell choked as anxious tears threatened to spill from his eyes. You nodded understandingly and watched as he sauntered out of the Smithsonian.

“I’m sorry to hear about Steve,” you whispered after a few moments of silence. You turned back to Diana, the princess of Themyscira. “I can’t imagine how it must feel to lose the love of your life. If I lost Max-”

Diana’s eyes widened and she stuck her hand out. “What?”

“W-what?” you repeated, realising what you had just said and immediately trying to figure out a way to retract it.

“You just implied that Max Lord is the love of your-”

“Don’t say it.” You begged.

“-Life.” Diana finished and you gasped. Hearing the words come from her only validated your feelings even more.

It was true. She was right. You were in love with Maxwell Lord.

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[yuki-tsunodas]

The Player's Tribune: I will never forget the tears I shed that day

Article published 25 March 2021, originally written by Yuki Tsunoda in Japanese.

I translated the article with help from Google Translate and Naver Translator + my own interpretations of their rubbish translating, so apologies in advance for any mistakes! Anything I had trouble translating will be bolded with a (?) next to it!!

　I think that was the last time I cried in frustration, in regret.

　Four years ago, I was only 16 years old and was a student at Suzuka Circuit Racing School. It was the final selection to join Honda's Driver Development Program. If I pass, I can run in Japanese F4 the following year, but if I failed...I was thinking of quitting racing at that time.

　Now, I'm standing at the entrance of the stage called F1. Looking back, that was the turning point of my life.

　Of course, I didn't know if I would pass that year's trial because there were not only those who had already run in F4 but also some drivers who had come back from overseas.

　However, I've been racing in karts since I was four years old, and I've been doing well. That year, I was the youngest ever podium finisher in my debut race in the Japanese F4 championship, which allowed me to participate in the spot (?) race, and won the Super FJ Japan's first championship. At the selection test, there were good results until the final round of selection, and I was in a position to compete for first and second place overall. So I thought I could afford to make a big mistake in the final selection, and I was confident that I would still be in the top two in the end.

　I am a strong driver. But if you can't get results here or if you can't fascinate the judges with your running, it's already known (?). So I was prepared to give up my racing career if it didn't work. I think there were many other routes to go, such as running in other training programs or non-formal races, but I don't like it when it's not the direction I want to go. I decided to live a different life rather than to do it half-heartedly.

　However, the worst result awaited. At that time, I was very weak mentally and, of all things, it showed in the final round. Even before the race, I found myself tense and stiff. My fingertips were also stiff. I was not my usual self. I started like that, but suddenly I was flying...I had to drive through the pitlane and then rejoin the course. I felt like I was running alone, far away from the previous group. I felt sorry for myself, and I didn't even feel like running anymore. As a result, the points in that race were almost zero, and Tsunoda lost in the final round.

　I was so frustrated that tears welled up naturally on the train home. It was the first time since I started racing in earnest. I was the youngest among the participants, but I was shocked because I was confident that I wouldn't lose, and I couldn't imagine anything even if I tried to think about the future. I still remember clearly that I was so depressed that I didn't even want to see my parents on my way home from the Shinkansen.

　But there was only one faint hope. That was what the then Honda F4 coach said in an interview after the screening.

　"As a training driver for Honda, you will not be able to participate in the race next year, since the Formula 4 Honda has four cars. Maybe I can put you in one of the remaining two cars running as Suzuka Racing School."

　That was because former Formula One driver Satoru Nakajima recommended me. Mr. Nakajima was the principal of the school at that time, and at the time of the final selection, he was watching us run in the final chicane.

　I was given a penalty at the start, and I was racing without emotion, but I was running hard so that I wouldn't regret it. Through the visor, I saw Satoshi Nakajima standing in the final corner. I didn't want to show Mr. Nakajima a careless run. It was a hopeless ranking, but I thought I should not give up until the end and keep running toward the group in front of me. Then the road opened.

　In 2017, Suzuka Racing decided to enter me into F4 instead of making me a training driver. Then, I suddenly ranked 3rd overall in the annual overall ranking, and the following year in 2018, I was selected as a Honda Formula Dream Project driver, and was able to become the champion.

　It's all because I was frustrated at that final selection.

　The most unusual thing is that I think it's mental. Until I had a setback, I had a feeling that I would do well until the end without doing anything. I knew I wasn't good at starting even though I failed in the previous round, and I had time to practice before that, but I didn't. There was something sweet about overconfidence. And at that time, I was afraid of making mistakes, so I didn't know how to grow up.

　After failing the selection, I realized that I was still not perfect and that I had to be faster. I realized that it is important to make a lot of mistakes without fear of making mistakes, and to make new discoveries and grow from there. Therefore, I didn't feel impatient when I didn't get points as I wanted in the early part of the F3 and F2 seasons last year after I went abroad. Rather, there was no hesitation in the process of making a lot of mistakes first and learning a lot from them.

　Takuma Sato, a former Formula One driver, now driving in Indycar, is famous for saying, "No attack, no chance," but I think that's exactly right. If you don't try beyond the limits of any sport, you won't find the future, and if you don't try, you'll stop there. Therefore, even if there are times when I make mistakes or get no results, I don't feel strangely distressed. Even if you make a mistake, it's up to you to take it. Mistakes make me want to investigate the cause. If you think that you can overcome it, you can be faster than if you regret the mistake, and you can always face it positively.

　Now that I can race in F1, I feel grateful to my parents. I've liked to move since I was a child, and I played swimming, soccer, mountain biking, and also, not sports, but piano. Now that I think about it, I feel that my father and mother were letting me do what I was interested in. And the reason why I started driving karts was also influenced by my father. My father liked motorsports and played gym carna himself. One day, at the circuit venue I was taken to, I was allowed to drive a real cart. That was the first time. Actually, I also experienced a pocket bike at that time, but after trying two, I said, "The kart is more fun." I don't really remember at all (lol).

　But there were times I got sick of karts...

　For example, when I was about seven years old. When I was playing a game while waiting at the track, my father told me to "focus more on the race," and my game was taken away, and I felt like, "I don't like it anymore." Then my father became getting tougher and tougher on me to improve me, and he scolded me for many things. To be honest, I didn't really appreciate my father until I was 15, and there was a time when I hated him. 'This is "The Rebellion Period".' I think I was in the middle of it.

　Not only my father but also my mother was strict in terms of academic matters. I was always told to study in case I didn't succeed in motorsports. My junior high school was not a public school (?), so after the race, I would go home on the day, get ready for school, go to school, study, and take the test. To be honest, it was hard and I never liked it, but I continued to study anyway.

　At that time, I couldn't thank my parents, but now I have the opposite feelings. I think I am what I am now thanks to their harshness, scolding, and teaching me a lot of things back then. Thank you so much.

　I didn't expect to be able to get to F1 this quickly. Not only are there few Japanese drivers, but they are also those taking the shorter route compared to foreign drivers.

　When I first went to see F1 at Fuji Speedway at the age of seven, Lewis Hamilton and Fernando Alonso were running. At that time, I wasn't longing for it, but I thought "I wanted to race with drivers like this someday", and those feelings are still the same. Hamilton is already a legend, and it's an honor to run with him, but when I get on the circuit, both Hamilton and Alonso are just drivers. Think of them as enemies.

　It's the same for Max Verstappen, who I think is the fastest and strongest opponent in Formula One, and Pierre Gasly, who's my teammate in Alpha Tauri. I want to know as soon as possible how well I can handle Verstappen and how well I can compete. Gasly was active in Japan's top-category, Super Formula, when I was running in Japanese F4, and I hope I can learn a lot of things from him, but I think he's also my biggest rival that I have to beat someday because we're in the same machine.

　'In the world of F1, "speed" is ultimately required.' No matter how fast you say you are, if you show off your speed, you can make an impact, and if you have speed, you can get back in front in the second half even if you were overtaken or separated from the pack in the beginning of the race. However, it is actually the most difficult to show "speed" in a situation like this. My biggest strength is speed, so in addition to that, I want to learn more of what I lack.

　Come to think of it, at an online conference held this off-season, my goal came out big like, "I'll be a Formula One champion more than seven times, the most ever tied," but that's not what I meant.

　I haven't done a single race in Formula One yet, so I can't say that (bitter smile).

　What I'm thinking about right now is to give the best performance I have in the first race, and to get as many points as possible throughout the season. Just like F2, even if you go up to F1, you will make a lot of mistakes from the beginning to the middle of the season, but I want to learn a lot by making new discoveries there. After saying such a thing at the press conference, there was a question like, "What is Tsunoda's ambition?" So I replied, "Maybe I'll win the championship seven times like Lewis Hamilton?" which became a big headline.To be exact, I really want to concentrate on everything in front of me now, and I hope that my ambition will come true as a result of that accumulated effort.

　What kind of scene will I see in the future? I want to improve my ability and become a race driver representing the F1 world, and I think it will be a different pressure and motivation, so the expectations of the fans may be even higher.

　That's why I want to never forget how I felt when I drove in Formula One for the first time in 2021. I want to cherish the current feelings of a rookie and continue to make mistakes to my heart's content, learn a lot from them, and enjoy them.

　I don't think I'll shed tears like I did four years ago in the final selection. I will never forget the tears I shed that day. But if I were to cry from now on, what kind of tears would I have...?

　I think it's realistic to say when I first win the championship. It's very difficult to get to Formula One, but it's going to be a tough road ahead. It's really hard to win, so if I'm going to shed tears, it's probably not "regretful tears" but "happy tears".

[jostepherjoestar]

Hewwo queen😔if you're still taking requests, could I ask one with la squadra and an artist s/o? Thank you💕💕💕

La Squadra with an artist s/o

sfw // gn reader // First of all... this was the request I mentioned before. I want everyone the address me with “Hewwo Queen😔” from now on!! it make me laugh so hard cause it reminds me of the “then perish” meme thanks for the lovely request <3

Risotto

Risotto admires your talent, often times when he’s trying his best to relax for once, he finds himself looking through your sketchbooks and drawings. He loves seeing your progress and noticing how you always seem to capture the lighting right.

When he gets to your most recent sketchbooks he starts to notice a familiar figure pop up a lot. Himself. Drawn in all sort of poses, his muscles being a great way to study body shapes as you tried to explain with a cheeky grin on your face when he asks you to explain your drawings of him.

On a quiet night you snuck up to your tall boyfriend, as well as you could sneak up on an assassin, with a present behind your back. Excited to see his reaction you handed him the wrapped canvas. Risotto made sure not to rip the pretty wrapping and had a stern look on his face as he saw the surface of the painting. You knew not to expect too much from him reaction wise so you were curious to hear what he had to say.

He just kept staring at the canvas, it was a painting of the only picture you had together. Privacy being a real issue in Passione. You’d asked Melone to take the photo when Risotto was asleep and you posed beside him, kissing him on the cheek. You’d showed him the picture, promising to keep it on you at all times and not to show it to anyone.

“I love it. So much, really darling this- Thank you.” he almost sounded flustered, reaching out to hug you. His reaction was so sweet, you knew he truly loved it. He placed it on the wall near his desk so he could look at it whenever he was working away, like most nights. A couple days later you found a wrapped pencil case on your drawing desk, new pencils, your favourite kind. A little stick man drawn on the card that said “I love you” in a crooked text bubble.

Formaggio

He’s in constant awe of how good you are, constantly praising you and showing off to anyone who’ll listen. He once showed a small drawing you did of a flower he kept in his wallet to a waiter while paying for the meal, embarrassing you to the max.

Seeing you study plants, people, landscapes, buildings, lighting, shadows, basically everything, he tried to see the world through your artistic eyes. He’d never really payed attention to expressing himself that way so he was curious to try.

Setting up canvasses or sketchbooks, all sorts of materials laid out in front of you to experiment with. You set up a still life on the table in front of you, a vase of flowers and some fruit strewn about. Assuring him this isn’t about how pretty or perfect the result is, but about how he sees the setup and wants to express it on the canvas or paper.

After both finishing you’re amazed by the colours he used and how abstract he painted the flowers and fruits. Your complements boosting his confidence. “But you’re still the real artist here sweetheart.” he said as he squeezed your hip as he admired your sketch.

You put his little painting in a frame and set it on your drawing desk, reminding yourself of your number one fan whenever you looked at it. It became a new relaxing activity for the two of you to enjoy with a glass of wine and snacks as you painted and drew together.

Illuso

Illuso loves art, but in particular he loves renaissance art. Whenever you two can, you’ll visit a gallery to admire the large paintings and sculptures. Illuso is quite judgy as well, offering no soft commentary on work he doesn’t enjoy. It’s mostly modern art he doesn’t like.

You try out different styles every now and then whenever you feel stuck in your own personal one, seeing if it could inspire you. To help in those situations Illuso has bought you multiple heavy books on his favourite painters. He isn’t afraid to venture into more recent styles, but he keeps it mostly to Italian or European artists.

When you tried out a more modern style in your newest experiment, he was surprised that he liked it as much as he did. “This is actually pretty good amore.” the complement sounding perhaps more like an insult, but you knew he meant it well.

Illuso himself however couldn’t draw, paint, sculpt or even photograph. He just had a hard time expressing himself in an artistic way, commenting one day that  “Can’t I just be the art myself?” earning a chuckle from you.

Prosciutto

Now Prosciutto likes art, classical paintings and sculptures but he doesn’t pay them any mind for too long. Yes it’s nice to look at but honestly he’d rather spend his time on other stuff. So when he met you he learned to appreciate art more. You’d show him around your workspace and show him the projects you’re working on.

The more you showed him the more he realised that being an artist isn’t just a hobby, it could also be a job as well. He never really thought it about it this way, realising that art is literally all around him. You were able to broaden his view, that you teased was sometimes a little too narrow.

He looks up to you for being able to express you thoughts and ideas and make something beautiful out of them.

As a gang member who has a lot of responsibility he prefers to spend his little amount of free time with the people he loves and trusts, like sitting around reading the paper or a book while you’re working away at your next piece.

Whenever you make him something, be it a drawing, painting, sculpture, and tell him he inspired it he will try his best not to blush. Taking you into a tight hug to cover up his face, thanking you for thinking of him. Honestly he loves that you’re creative and made him open his eyes a little more to the world he thought he already knew so well.

Pesci

The two of you have a cute tradition ever since you started going out together. A couple dates in, he slid you a napkin, face flushed red, with a scraggily drawn Pesci asking if he could be your boyfriend. Of course you happily accepted, having kept the napkin and pinned it to your wall next to your bed. Since then every time you go out and there’s a napkin around the two of you draw each other a funny figure or object.

To the other’s chagrin sometimes, creating way too many inside jokes that they don’t get. What do they not get, it’s a bowl of pasta with cheese on it saying “Cheesed to meet you!”

Besides the cute napkin drawings you store safely in a box, Pesci loves helping you out whenever he can. If you need him to help transport stuff he’ll gladly rent a car and drive, making sure that the ride becomes a cute little date.

He’ll always cheer you on when you feel stuck, doing whatever he can to aid you. Or if you’re having another failed all nighter, fallen asleep on your desk, he’ll come pick you up and carry you to bed. Blushing when you kiss him on the nose to thank him for it.

Melone

Melone absolutely loves that you’re an artist! He loves analysing art and the way people respond to it, the human psyche just really excites him. Often times asking people what they were feeling or what they interpreted when looking at your work. Like he was asking around for a survey, it was just his own curiosity.

He also loves modelling for you. You want him to sit in the garden on a rock between the rose bushes? No problem! Nude? NO PROBLEM! He’ll suggest it every time you ask him to model, assuring him that you won’t need another upclose muscle study for a fourth time this week.

He’ll be your personal promoter and manager if you want him to be, making sure if you want a personal gallery opening that you don’t get scammed for rent and that you can hike up the prices just a tiny little more on your own pieces. He’ll get you connected faster than the speed of light if you want him to.

But most of all he admires how hard you work and the effort you put into your art. He sees a piece of you in every project. You’ll find him staring at your work, a love struck look in his eyes. He’s quite a sappy guy when it comes to this stuff.

Just be sure to not let him near anyone who doesn’t like your work. Another attempt at murder at a gallery opening is not the publicity you want.

Ghiaccio

Ghiaccio loves abstract colourful art. Other styles that are too complicated or overhyped just makes him annoyed. He loves the simplicity of it, not paying any mind to any hidden meanings. If you do a lot of stuff in a modern or abstract style he’d pay you for the pieces even though he’s your partner. He just really loves supporting you and knows some people don’t compensate artists enough.

You were surprised at his interest, thinking him to not have the temper for art. Although you did discover, during a visit to a new modern exhibit in a local gallery, that Ghiaccio HATED it when the artists act pretentious and the vision of their work doesn’t match up with Ghiacco’s. Mumbling under his breath how “It’s just a square, a beautiful one yes, but it’s not representing how your mom didn’t love you!”.

You don’t comment too much on the meaning behind the modern pieces, he doesn’t seem like he wants to think about it anyway. So you let him enjoy the colourful shapes in his own way.

For his birthday you’d painted an abstract shapely piece in his colours; icy blue’s and the pop of red from his glasses and shoes. Swirly shapes that represented his hair. When you presented it to him his eyes lit up, earning you a passionate kiss that lasted a little too long, you had the rest of La Squadra waiting to eat the birthday dinner, eyerolls and clearing throats making Ghiacco let go with an annoyed growl. He loved it, since you made it and customised to him, he’ll cherish it forever.  

[viridiave]

NARUMITSU <ATTEMPTING TO READ THE SUBTEXT PLATONICALLY>

*Wrote all this some time last month so I might be off- really really off- also full disclosure I too am a Narumitsu shipper- this is just me giving myself a bad time doing the impossible and having fun XD

-I am going to fail sooner or later. Looking at you, Bridge to the Turnabout.

FIRST GAME >Turnabout Samurai -Yep. We're jumping right in with 'unnecessary feelings'. I'm going to be put on a stake for this. -This is going to become the main argument with any and all homoerotic subtext present in the first game- that it was unintentional. They didn't actively start making it gay until the second game, and even before then the producer for the games had to warn the development team not to try and insert these themes for fear of getting it wrong and lose the fanbase they'd accidentally caught the eye of. I can still create arguments for why this specific, hilariously meme-able line could be read romantically of course- but as far as the game development team at the time was concerned this interaction was never meant to be read as romantic. -Unease and uncertainty are... very valid feelings for Edgeworth to feel at this very moment and as much as I'd like to joke that he was feeling uncertain about his sexuality after seeing his childhood friend as an adult, this line was really just likely meant to lead up to the conclusion of Turnabout Goodbyes and Edgeworth's character arc for this game. His perfect win streak had just been shattered in a case prior. In this case, he was meant to persecute the lead actor of his favorite show- and in some ways his helping the defense can be taken as his biases getting the better of him. His sense of justice and his entire worldview is about to be overhauled, and I can see how he would regard this budding doubt in himself as an unnecessary (heh) distraction from what he believes is his true purpose in life.

>Turnabout Goodbyes -Edgeworth wanting to keep him away from DL-6 has its own section mostly because of how stubborn he becomes when it comes to Phoenix's insistence in particular. It's clear that this stubbornness is a front, I will concede with that- but there are merits to his initial reluctance in accepting Phoenix's defense. It's evident that Phoenix himself has grown over the course of the game so far, but in both of the times that he faced off against Edgeworth in court, his victories were... a tad bit contrived. For instance in Turnabout Sisters, Phoenix really only wins because Mia was being channeled and blackmailed White as he was about to leave the stand. Turnabout Samurai is a little better- but had him rely on quite a lot of coincidences (proven later to be substantiated) that surfaced during the trial. This is nothing to say of the deeper reason Edgeworth has over dissuading Phoenix from taking his case ("You in particular I cannot ask to do this.")- where I can make an argument for his pride and/or concern over Phoenix's career as an attorney. The stakes are relatively high here as well- if Phoenix fails, Edgeworth is incarcerated, Manfred von Karma goes free, DL-6 goes cold once again with no hope of getting re-opened, and everything that Phoenix has been working towards as an attorney would have been in vain. DL-6 is a case that has ruined many lives- it'd make sense if Edgeworth himself felt as though it would be a waste of time and effort to take this case because of how convinced he was of murdering his own father prior to Gourd Lake. He'd grown up for the past 15 years with a nightmare and a death sentence over his head- I wouldn't be surprised if he simply gave up and accepted that he was going to die at the hands of his prosecuting mentor. Even if he were acquitted for the murder of Robert Hammond, his perceived involvement in DL-6 would have thrown a wrench in his freedom- any lesser attorney would have given up on that. And this is unloaded BEFORE Phoenix tells him about the true reason as to why he became an attorney. -Phoenix's insistence to defend Edgeworth in this case can easily just be read as platonic- his complete, unfettered faith in Edgeworth's innocence is heavily influenced by that class trial, for better or for worse. While I'm perfectly happy to imagine that Phoenix's attachment to his idealized version of Edgeworth grew into something deeper sometime in the fifteen years that he hasn't seen him, I do believe that Phoenix in particular really is just that much of a sentimental person. This is to say nothing of his nature as a defense attorney- and what little time he's managed to spend with Mia has taught him that unbridled trust in his client is what gets him through the day, and he's putting it to practice here. Edgeworth was what he has been working towards the moment he decided he would practice law- as Phoenix at this point in time still believes that he could do no wrong despite seeing what Edgeworth is truly like in court. -Cutting into the meat of Phoenix and Edgeworth's shared past, I made a point earlier to say that Phoenix's perception of Edgeworth as a person is idealized. Every memory that Phoenix has had of Edgeworth prior to the events of the first game were from their childhood- and they had 4-8 months (plus one year if we're generous with the retconning some of the official art gave us) MAX to develop a friendship so strong that Phoenix makes major life decisions just to meet with this man. The fact that this time spent together was ENOUGH for Phoenix in the first place is... really hard to skirt around. To quote Dan from GameGrumps "this is something that you would only do for someone you're trying to marry" and if one of them was a woman I guarantee this ship would be canon already. But then again- since this is Phoenix Wright in particular somehow I can believe that he really is just that sentimental- and that isn't always a bad thing. He'd managed to save Edgeworth twice with this conviction after all. When Phoenix sees Edgeworth, he doesn't see a demon prosecutor, he sees his childhood friend who aimed to become a shining example of justice following in his father's footsteps. They address how shaky his foundations for becoming an attorney were in the Phoenix Wright Files once actually- going through a mini-existential crisis because he'd become an attorney with the main goal of saving Edgeworth from what he'd become, and now that he's accomplished that he's just kind of... lost. Edgeworth himself manages to pull him out of this, though. -man that hurts my case a lot actually but to be fair I was banking on failing -I just didn't expect it to happen so early even with the first game -in fact ESPECIALLY with the first game -though I cannot for the life of me wonder how I can come up with a heterosexual explanation for why the buildup towards Edgeworth telling Phoenix and Maya about his nightmares reads so much like a stunted love confession. I'm serious- just read any high school shojo manga ever. You'll find that it hits a lot of the same beats.

>Rise From The Ashes -It's in this case that we observe some of the consequences that the intial upheaval of Edgeworth's worldview in Turnabout Goodbyes causes him; distrust in the enforcement of the law. Not exactly the time for him to be dabbling in another, meme-able brand of unnecessary feelings. Several things like the Prosecutor's Office's relationship with the Police Department starts to waver with the murder of Bruce Goodman, and this becomes the final nail in the coffin for Edgeworth's worldviews and values as a prosecutor. His and Phoenix's teamwork in this trial becomes prevalent- the story behind the King of Prosecutors award represents this best despite it's currently incomplete state. The backstory behind this award paints an ideal of justice in the courtroom wherein the truth comes out as a result of the efforts of contradictory forces. A broken halberd that can cut through any shield (the prosecution) and a broken, unbreakable shield (the defense). Read as representation the text becomes something of a metaphor for the ideal justice that manifests itself in the best parts of Edgeworth and Phoenix respectively- the duality of their opposing professions rather than something that is limited to their relationship. -The same argument that I've used for Phoenix's unwavering belief in Edgeworth's innocence in Turnabout Goodbyes can be used for this case as well. -Though Edgeworth still goes M.I.A for a year after this case, it does grant his disappearance a bit more context as to why exactly it is that he left- and I'll be taking a tiny liberty with this and apply the interpretation that the Miles Edgeworth Files grants us, and that he left in order to better himself and grow as a person, a prosecutor, and as a friend to Phoenix Wright. It's... difficult for me to want to read this as anything but romantically-charged because the narrative beats are NOT lost on me (the dialogue makes this especially hard. send help.)- there's a possibility that Edgeworth at this point in time realizes the value in having a better, more functional dynamic with the one defense attorney who he considers a true equal in court. This dynamic will allow for less chances to encounter missteps and errors in any verdicts handed down in court, and if Edgeworth is to pursue his ideal of justice- Phoenix Wright is undoubtedly essential to this endeavor. The aftermath of Rise From The Ashes is indicative of this newfound goal of his- the symbolism behind the old King of Prosecutors award and the two halves of the evidence list certainly helps this case. -<"It seems all you do is worry about me." -Miles Edgeworth, Rise From The Ashes> For good fucking reason Edgeworth. You were accused of murder and have implicated yourself on the stand for DL-6 just a few months ago- and if the Investigations games are anything to go by, you're more of a danger magnet than PHOENIX is. I had to say it. The first Investigations game takes place over the course of 2-3 days and the sheer amount of shit that Edgeworth had to deal with in between that interval truly makes me wonder how Phoenix Wright ended up with the title of danger magnet. And THIS time- Edgeworth's car becomes a crime scene because his corrupt superiors needed a convenient way of transporting a corpse. There's VERY good reasons to worry about the livelihood of Miles Edgeworth. -Okay I... can't believe I forgot about the chessboard. Here's the kicker- the one we see from his office isn't even the only one he owns. I... legitimately cannot give you ANY purely heterosexual, platonic explanation for why Miles Edgeworth has THREE (THREE. I CANNOT OVERSTATE THIS. HE HAS T H R E E OF THESE FUCKING THINGS. GOOD GOD. HE CAN'T BE ANY MORE EXTRA.)(there exists a similar, portable set in the Investigations games- and he has a new set by the time of Dual Destinies) sets of custom-made chessboards with personalized, highly-specific red and blue designs made purely to depict his rivalry with Phoenix Wright. I fold. I give up. I forgot about the chessboards I wAS NOT EXPECTING TO FAIL THIS E A R LY- -You know what the real kicker is with Rise From the Ashes? The main argument that I have introduced back in Turnabout Samurai does not apply here. Rise From the Ashes was made as a DS-exclusive case and did not exist in the original GameBoy version of the Trilogy. Which means if there is homoerotic tension written in for this case (and there happens to be a lot. the chessboard is proof enough.), then we can safely assume that the writers at this point were well-aware. So yeah- maybe don't feel TOO bad about the unnecessary feelings line- because ever since then the writers have been playing off of that and it SHOWS. -Is there really a point to this I'm just- everything is stacked against me tryna interpret this platonically -Like I know I make a point to say that a romantic relationship isn't the end-all of all relationships because this franchise LOVES pushing the Found Family dynamic and I'm an absolute sucker for that -good god by the time Dual Destinies rolls around I'll probably just give up and happily say they're happily married -that's literally what they act like don't even pretend

[passionate-reply]

This week on Great Albums: one of very few albums that I think is truly perfect. John Foxx’s second solo LP, The Garden, is a masterpiece of Medieval mysticism, romantic longing, and modern electronics. Transcript below the break!

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! In this installment, I’ll be looking at a classic sophomore album, and one which epitomizes the principle of taking one’s sound in a different direction the second time around: The Garden by John Foxx, first released in 1981.

While The Garden was Foxx’s second release as a solo artist, it’s also his fifth LP overall, as he had spent the late 1970s fronting the original incarnation of Ultravox. Foxx’s Ultravox was an eclectic mix of influences from glam, punk, and, of course, electronic pioneers like Kraftwerk, but it would be the latter of these ideas that dominated Foxx’s solo career. His 1980 solo debut, Metamatic, is some of the purest, starkest, and harshest minimal synth around, and remains one of the most iconic early works of the subgenre.

Music: “Underpass”

If you want more like Metamatic from Foxx, you’ll want to skip ahead to the 1990s, because he turned his back on this thin and aggressively inorganic sound remarkably quickly. While he would produce several more LPs in the 1980s, the group of them seems to grow progressively lighter and softer, with less blistering analogue synth, and more radio-friendly love themes. But while Foxx’s third and fourth efforts are often panned, The Garden has actually won nearly as many fans over the years as Metamatic, proving itself to be powerful in its own ways, despite its radically different aesthetic. Where Metamatic dealt in brutalist city blocks and Ballardian psycho-sexuality, The Garden takes place in moldering cathedrals, embracing Gothic splendour and (imagined) Medieval emotionality.

Music: “Europe After the Rain”

“Europe After the Rain” opens the album, and also served as its lead single, becoming a relatively minor hit in the charts. As we hear it, we immediately become aware that Foxx has abandoned the instrumental palette of Metamatic, made almost exclusively with an ARP 2600 synthesiser, in favour of something more lush. On “Europe After the Rain,” traditional instruments like acoustic guitar and piano are impossible to ignore, though the constant bass synth ensures we never forget Foxx’s roots either. It also seems to be a major thematic leap away from Metamatic, with its tender and romantic feel. Still, that may not necessarily be all there is to it--the song is presumably named after a famous painting of the same title, by the Surrealist Max Ernst, executed in the early 1940s as World War II was first beginning. Ernst’s painting is a sort of apocalyptic vision, in which crumbling structures are overtaken by vegetation, and two figures wander through it, seemingly passing by one another. Perhaps Foxx’s “Europe After the Rain” is also a theme for a devastated landscape, its lovers meeting again the last survivors of some nuclear holocaust? Maybe it isn’t too far away from the themes of crushing modernity employed on Metamatic after all.

Note, as well, the emphasis on “Europe,” conceptually--The Garden is, at least partially, a sort of search for a new European cultural identity. The Garden fuses electronics, and hence Europe’s characteristic technological achievements, with a love of more traditional European cultural ideals, namely, the aesthetics of Medieval Christianity. For evidence of that idea, look no further than its most obvious apotheosis, the track “Pater Noster.”

Music: “Pater Noster”

“Pater Noster” is, of course, a setting of the Latin-language translation of the so-called “Our Father” or Lord’s Prayer, one of the most popular and well-known texts in Christianity. “Pater Noster” is the album’s most obvious love letter to the Middle Ages, but an informed listen will show that it has little to do with actual music from that era--I actually could forgive the synthesisers, which might be analogized to the role of church organs, but the percussion-propelled nature of the track is what really makes it feel ahistorical to me. Despite the religious themes of The Garden, Foxx always averred not being any sort of authentic believer in religion or God, and maintained that he was interested in the traditions of the Church purely on aesthetic grounds. Whether you think this sort of appropriation is appropriate and respectful or not, it’s certainly one of the album’s prominent themes, and part of what makes it feel as unique as it does. While I’ve emphasized the themes of romanticism and religiosity, it’s also worth noting that The Garden is not a complete break from Foxx’s earlier works, and in its return to a more guitar-driven sound, it often winds up riffing on something not unlike punk.

Music: “Systems of Romance”

Astute followers of Foxx will have already noticed that the track “Systems of Romance” shares its title with the third and final LP he released with Ultravox, in 1979. Apparently, it was written that much earlier, though it wouldn’t be seen to completion until several years later. Combining a hard-driving guitar, played by Foxx’s Ultravox bandmate Robin Simon, with the inscrutable, sensual, elemental lyricism Foxx employs throughout his mid-80s oeuvre, the track “Systems of Romance” really feels like a bridge between 70s art rock and 80s avant-synth-pop, moreso than anything else on the album. Much as “Systems of Romance” extracts a certain prettiness from punk, so does the aesthetically-oriented “Night Suit,” which plays with appearance, deception, and masculinity.

Music: “Night Suit”

“Night Suit” is the track on The Garden that I feel is the most exemplary of its own time period, a mysterious ode to a mystical garment that could almost feel at home on an album by Visage. The Garden is interested in “romantic” themes, but “Night Suit” truly feels at peace among the New Romantics. It’s got some of the most “believable” rock influences, with a prominent guitar riff from Simon, and yet its emphasis on the power of fashion and appearances, destructive, and perhaps even supernatural, is hard to imagine in a genuine punk context. As it implores us to “be someone” or “be no-one,” it’s easy to fit “Night Suit” into one of the major themes throughout Foxx’s career: the tranquility and liberation of personal anonymity. Why is the “Night Suit” a suit in the first place? The song wouldn’t make sense if it didn’t deal with a garment that is also a non-garment, something to wear that feels default, neutral, and unassuming--not to mention classically masculine.

On the cover of The Garden, the main thing we see is, well, a garden. Despite Foxx’s more obvious personal presence on the albums before and after The Garden, it’s easy to miss him here, dwarfed by the scale of nature that surrounds him. It’s almost like the album is more meant to be about this place, and the concept of “the garden,” than it is Foxx as a person, or any particular perspective of his.

While the actual capital-R Romantics were deeply interested in the “sublime,” and the scenes and moments in which mankind faces its vulnerability and insignificance when compared to the natural world, it’s also worth remembering that a “garden,” by definition, is really not a natural space at all, but rather one which is arranged by human hands. Even if this composition resembles those of Romantic painters, I think it’s worth looking earlier in the European past to interpret this one. Gardens were one of the most prominent symbols in Medieval literature, and scholars have suggested that they serve as symbols for sensuality, romance, and the yoni itself. Through the association with the Garden of Eden, gardens often represent a sort of lost, but longed-for paradise, and a return to innocence which is as tantalizing as it is impossible. In particular, “Europe After the Rain,” with its theme of lovers meeting again after the passage of some time, seems to connect with this idea.

In hindsight, The Garden really stands alone in Foxx’s career, a masterpiece whose precise style he would never attempt again. We might say it became that Garden of Eden, to which the artist could never return. While Foxx’s interest in Medieval spirituality would return on ambient works like Cathedral Oceans, and he would occasionally return to love songs with an electronic backing, the precise combination of lovelorn bardistry with a flair for the baroque that appears on The Garden remains totally singular. Foxx’s follow-up to this album, 1983’s The Golden Section, narrows its thematic focus towards poppy love songs, and its instrumental focus, likewise, is that of a fairly unremarkable mid-80s synth-pop record. But at the same time, I like to think that tracks like “The Hidden Man” manage to maintain a sense of the mystical.

Music: “The Hidden Man”

My favourite track on The Garden is “Walk Away.” While it lacks the severe and tragic grandeur of the album’s title track, which closes the album on a lofty note, “Walk Away” shares some of its delicate qualities, reviving the soft piano that we heard on “Europe After the Rain.” Thematically, “Walk Away” seems to deal with fragility and transience, and the grave significance that a brief, passing moment may have--which makes that “delicateness” feel all the more poignant in context. Its call-and-response outro, featuring one of Foxx’s most anguished vocal performances, really makes it a stand-out. That’s everything for today--as always, thanks for listening!

Music: “Walk Away”

[honey-harper-official]

Evander Wade Hate AU - Chapter 8

MasterList for Evander Wade Hate AU 

Word Count: 2542

This is an AU where Evander Wade is secretly a villain and I made this AU because I just don’t like him. Also I’m fixing my personal problems with canon because I can.

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When Adrian got up the next morning his dads had already left for work. It was usually like this on weekdays.

He got up and got ready for the day before grabbing his things and leaving. He was going to see Nova at her apartment like he had promised but on the way there he stopped to pick up bagels for breakfast, since he wasn't sure if she really had any food at her place yet. He just got a big bag of some different bagels along with a container of cream cheese. He wasn't sure exactly what her order would be as this wasn't something that had ever come up before. He wondered if she had ever even had bagels when she was with the Anarchists.

However what Adrian did know was Nova's favorite type of flower. Or at least one that he knew for a fact she liked because he remembered her mentioning that her dad would bring her mom home dahlias when he could and if not then wild flowers.

So Adrian picked up a mix of those on his way to the apartment complex. He had drawn some the first time he went over to her place so it only made sense that he brought her more as a housewarming gift for her new apartment.

Or as a gift in general.

Adrian reached her apartment complex and went inside, racking his mind for the apartment number.

Before he could think of it, a short middle aged woman with box braids came up to him.

"Are you lost young man? Or waiting for someone?" She asked, noting the food and flowers.

"Yeah I'm just trying to think of the apartment number of my girlfriend. She just moved in last night and I figured I'd bring her a house warming gift."

The woman smiled.

"Then it's a good thing you've run into me. I'm the landlord Estelle. I'm assuming you're looking for Nova McLain," she said, smiling brightly at him.

"Yeah that's her. Can you tell me where her apartment is?" Adrian asked.

"11th floor. 36A," she said, knowing it off the top of her head.

"Thank you so much," he said, going to the elevator and pressing the button.

"My pleasure. Tell Nova I said hi."

"I will," he said as the door closed and the elevator went upwards.

After that he found her apartment quickly, knocking on the door. She opened it right away and seemed very giddy and he couldn't help but feel happy too.

Nova shut the door behind him as he set the food and flowers on the small table. 

"Morning my star," he told her, cupping her face and giving her a quick kiss as a hello.

"Good morning," she said, practically bouncing on her toes.

"Estelle says hi. She helped me find your apartment," Adrian told her, keeping true to his word.

"Oh yeah she's my landlord. Her and her wife Cleo seem really nice. I mean it took them five minutes to realize that I was running away from a bad home life and they just let me have the apartment and offered me assistance in making sure no one comes and tries to drag me back," Nova told him.

It was surprising but he was glad it happened. Adrian was glad to know that someone besides himself was looking after her and maybe she could have an actual adult in her life who cared about her and would help her out. Nova was fairly independent but still just a teenager. Adrian certainly still needed his dads and he didn't think Nova would be any different in needing a parental figure.

"That's great," Adrian said. "I'm glad things are working out for you."

"I mean I can still pay rent if need be but it was a small relief and at least now I can put that money more towards necessities and things I need. But I do really like the new apartment."

The apartment was a pretty decent place and even if it wasn't he didn't think Nova would necessarily care. She'd probably lived in worse and could fix any issues with a bad apartment on her own.

He shuddered at the thought. He hated the idea of her living in the tunnels and even the rowhouse. He never wanted to judge but he couldn't have helped but be concerned for her conditions.

Of course Nova now actually had the chance to live somewhere that was not only safe from dangerous people but safe in the sense that you could actually live there and it was up to code. Adrian didn't exactly think she would miss out on that. He didn't think any sensible person would.

"Speaking of that," Adrian said, grabbing the flowers. "I figured I'd bring you a house warming gift. And some breakfast too if you're hungry for bagels."

Nova smiled and took the flowers from him.

Great skies he adored her smile. It was the most beautiful thing in the world aside from Nova herself.

"Thank you," she said brightly. "I'm sorry I don't have anything to put them in. Or plates and things for food. Or really much of anything. I guess I have to go shopping."

"Anything you need now? I can just draw it."

"Adrian it's fine. Don't worry about it. I can take care of it myself," Nova insisted.

Adrian frowned. 

"You're sure?"

Nova nodded. "It's fine. I can take care of it. Though maybe drawing some plates or something would be a good idea."

She gestured to the food and Adrian pulled out his marker, drawing on the paper bag to make paper plates for the two of them. He hadn't eaten yet and he didn't think Nova had either.

"Have you ever had bagels before?" Adrian asked, pausing as he took one out and took a seat at the table with Nova. He cut it with the plastic knife that was in the bag. 

"When I was little and my parents were still around," Nova said as she put cream cheese on the one she had taken from the bag. 

"So are there other common foods you haven't had since then?"

"A lot. And a bunch I've never had before because it's not like there was much access to them for people in the Age of Anarchy," Nova said before taking a bite, shrugging.

It was such a weird thought to think that there were a lot of super common foods in Gatlon that she hadn't had before. Adrian would have to figure out what exactly they were and he had no doubt that when Oscar and Ruby realized this they'd have a field day.

"So when exactly are you going to see the Anarchists again to get the Vitality Charm?" Adrian asked once they were finished, Nova rolling up the beg and putting it on the counter and throwing the cream cheese in the fridge. He doubted that there was anything else in there.

"I figured later today would be a smart time. I want to do it as fast as possible when it's darker out so it's not really noticed. They moved back to the subway tunnels but to a different section," Nova explained. "The Vitality Charm, the helmet, and anything that would incriminate me of anything are all there with them but all I have to do is act like I need to get something, take the charm, and then tell them that I'm leaving."

"Do you think they'll let you leave?" Adrian asked. He didn't want to risk her being hurt by them again. He could only imagine how much they had already put her through and he didn't want her to have to go through any more.

Nova sighed. "Honey and Leroy were usually the more lenient ones. Leroy was always the one that stopped my training when he saw it was going too far or becoming too dangerous and Honey was usually more on the nice side."

"Define nice."

"Okay nice for an Anarchist. As nice as you think an Anarchist can get," Nova explained.

He understood what she meant but that still left a lot of room for personal interpretation. How bad an Anarchist could me and how good they could be was a very large spectrum but at the core, Anarchists were willing to do basically anything to get whatever they wanted.

It's why Adrian didn't think Nova was an Anarchist at all. He knew she had limits and he knew she felt guilty about a lot of things she had done. That and he didn't think an Anarchist would bother to go out of their way to save a kid that could be used as a divergence of attention from then the way Nova had pushed Max out of the way and stayed to help him. The pike had been aimed at her and Max was invisible but she still reached out just in case he was there and found him and pulled him out of the way with her. Max still got brushed by it at his side and was in the hospital but he would live instead of being impaled and possibly even killed.

Any other Anarchist Adrian knew wouldn't do that. From what he could figure out, they probably subjected Nova to a lot to train her as an Anarchist and he had heard rumors of them killing an entire gang just to get to one child and take them as their own. At least he had heard his dads talking about that once late one night when he was little so he figured it held true.

Nova didn't seem like she would ever do something like that at all.

But it didn't mean the remaining Anarchists didn't. He trusted Nova and her judgement and she had the best guess on how this was going to pan out but Adrian couldn't help but be concerned. People, especially Anarchists, could be unpredictable and take large gambles with no warning or hesitation.

And Nova leaving would certainly prompt them to take action and act unpredictably. 

"So how do you think they'll react?" Adrian asked. "To you asking to leave at least."

"I don't think they're going to be happy that's for sure. I can definitely see Honey going into one of her fits but Leroy had offered me a chance to leave before. Right before I became a spy for them he asked me if I wanted to leave and I didn't know any better then to take that chance but if he was willing to put everything on the line to give it to me then, and now that there's way less risk for him, I think he'd still offer that to me and let me leave. It's more of Honey we have to watch out for," Nova elaborated, looking upset at her own words.

She felt guilty. Adrian could see it in her eyes. She probably regretted not taking up that offer to leave and start fresh when she had the chance, before all her crimes had piled up so much. Before anyone could have ever suspected her to be Nightmare at all. Before anyone even knew she existed and she hadn't caused as much hurt.

Adrian reached out and squeezed her hand.

"It's okay," he reassured.

"But anyways it should be fairly easy for me to get the charm. It's leaving that will be the problem. I don't think Leroy will hurt me but I can't guarantee that Honey won't try something or force me to stay to talk me out of my decision."

"So what do you need me to do?" Adrian asked.

"You can stand by on guard by the entrance but hidden away so no one gets suspicious. It shouldn't take more then 15 minutes and if I'm not out by then or something goes wrong I'll call for you for help. I don't think I'll die if I have the vitality charm on me at that point but that's not to say injuries won't be sustained," Nova informed him. "But unless I call for you do NOT come and get me or they will think that you did something and they will see you as a threat and I don't want you getting hurt. If you get hurt then everything will go to shit and worst of all, you'll be hurt."

"If you're not out in 15 minutes I'm coming in to get you," Adrian told her. He wasn't going to risk losing her.

"Well what if they moved the charm and I have to look for it and things get screwed up?" Nova pointed out. It seemed she had every possibility going through her mind.

"You can send me a message on the arm band telling me that," Adrian pointed out.

"No because I won't be wearing it so we can't be tracked," Nova fired back.

"Then I'll draw us some communication device. I don't want to risk them keeping you from calling for me for help and hurting you in the process when I could be there to help."

"Adrian I get you're concerned but I'm perfectly capable of handling them. Of all the people that could actually stand on their own against them it would be me because I was raised by them."

"I don't want to take any chances," Adrian pleaded. He wasn't going to let her go through it alone. For once, someone had to step it up and actually look out for her. Just because she never had it before didn't mean she could go without it now.

"Sinta," she said softly. "I know you're just trying to keep me safe but I promise that as long as you're at least there and waiting for back up I'll be okay."

"Fine," Adrian agreed. "But you message me when you're going to tell them and at the first sign of trouble I'm coming to get you."

"Deal," Nova said. "We can go around 9. It'll be dark but not late enough that your dads will want you home and it'll give us time to sort ourselves out if something does happen."

"Okay," he said, reaching out and cupping her face in his hands, placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head. "Just be safe."

"I know," she said softly, smiling a little. "I will be."

An alarm on Adrian's band went off. He turned it off and stood up, offering his hand to Nova who gladly took it.

"Come on. Lets go to patrol," he said, nodding at the door.

She smiled and stood, the two of them leaving her apartment hand in hand. 

On their way out they passed Estelle and who he assumed was Cleo, both of them waving goodbye to her as they left, very much noticing that she and Adrian were holding hands. Nova rolled her eyes but he was smiling, finding it endearing and funny. The two of them seemed to really like and care about Nova and he was glad that she had more people in her life as more positive role models.

Things were going well for once and Adrian just hoped that continued for the rest of the day.

-------------

Tag List:

@thepurpledragon4444 @nova-artino @novas-tunnel-of-anxiety@princessselene126 @my-littlenightmare @anarchists-87  @plain-jane-mclain @thecaptainsdamsel @emybain @renegadesnet @itsalittlebitchilly @justsomerandomficsforrenegades @jacihayle  @creampuffqueen @alecjamesartino @blueraspberry-official @imnotfluffy @ruby-tucker @everhartartino @goldendaysareahead​ @artino-nova

[readingsbylibramc]

birth chart reading for @isannnz

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a seesaw shape. your life focuses on different ideals and interests, often constrasting between each other. from one side, this gives you the ability to be adaptable and find solutions easily. on the other hand, you may struggle with balance; for example, you might find yourself dedicating your life to your relationships, neglecting your ego or viceversa. you need to learn how to harmonize these energies.

your dominant planets are the moon, mars and uranus. you are a very assertive person, you have big goals for your life and you are hard-working enough to achieve them all. yet, you're also very sensitive, and you may end up having frequent mood swings.

your dominant sign is aquarius. you're eccentric and rebel, you don't like being told what to do. you're very considerate of others, as you focus more on the development of a group rather than your persona. that's because you want the people you frequent to be as open-minded as you are. aquarius people are capable of elaborating different ideas in a short amount of time; hence, you either overwork yourself, or you're not able to keep up with all your ideas, leaving projects unfinished.

your dominant element is air. in your life, you adore seeking for knowledge of any kind. you may be interested in studying different subjects, from those you study at school like science, maths, literature etc. to more unconventional ones, such as astrology, psychology, criminology and so on. you enjoy interacting with people; even if you’re not that sociable, you’ll still be interested in their point of view and their ideals, as you see it as a way to expand your own mind. you’re also interested in vintage, and you may have a retro aesthetic or just like history in general.

🌎 ascendant in cancer, 18° / 2nd decan ruled by the moon and pluto

with your ascendant in the sign of cancer, you appear way more sweet and approachable than your aquarius moon, which is obviously very beneficial for you. being a water sign, cancer risings individuals are very intuitive and emotional, and that is exactly how you approach the world. you rely more on your 6th sense rather than logic, and mixed with your cancer sun you're extremely empathetic. you can read people's mood very well, it's easy for you to understand whether someone is sad, angry, happy... because of that, you always try to make people feel at ease, you're always kind with people, and that makes you extremely likeable. also, since cancer is ruled by the moon, you're probably a very genuine person. it's hard for you to hide your real emotions, and even if you wanted to hide them you wouldn't be capable. you could also have frequent mood swings. you have a strong sense of family and comfort to you, and hence it's extremely essential for you feel at ease to truly be yourself. let's suppose you're with a group of friends, and they suddenly bring someone with them that isn't very nice; you would probably get very stiff, and your mood would immediately go down. you also tend to be like a mother / sister to others, you hardly ever have superficial bonds. physically, since cancer is ruled by the moon you may have very round and big features to you; you could have big, watery and round eyes with perfect lashes, a button nose, plump lips... in addition, you may be petite or average height, and you could bloat easily.

cancer mars conjunct cancer ascendant: your approach to the world is spontaneous, you don't like thinking before acting. you don't really do this with malice, though; you're just very honest. even though you appear really confident to others, you may find yourself feeling a little insecure. that comes from the fact that you're a perfectionist, even though you want to be perfect to show it to others rather than for yourself. hence, you feel pressured. even though you may appear as rude, once you get to know someone you truly care about you're willing to control yourself, just for them. that's how far you'd go for someone you love. phisically, you may have strong, almost masculine features: thin lips, thick eyebrows and lashes, broad shoulders, sharp nose...

cancer jupiter conjunct cancer ascendant: this is another placement that I find extra beneficial considering your uranus dominance. you're very benevolent and supportive of others, you're probably the type of friend who would do anything to help their mates, and you'd do also defend them if necessary. you are fun to be around, you have a nice sense of humor and people just love being around you, you have this particular charisma to you that makes everyone want to stick around you. you're extremely fun to be around, and you may also be very sociable, or at least you have the potential to be. you're probably very lucky, you may come across extremely beneficial opportunities in your life, and that's actually your way to achieve the best success you could ask for. you need to step out of your comfort-zone and challenge yourself in what life offers you. it was all meant to be, but with jupiter in this position you mostly attract beneficial situations for you.

🌞 sun in cancer, 6° / 1st decan ruled by the moon

this is the most emotional cancer decan. even though you may not show it due to your heavy mars and aquarius influence, you’re actually very vulnerable and sensitive. you may be a crybaby, as crying is a way to vent your emotions. you may even overreact, and be considered too dramatic. you’re extremely moody; you could be all happy and relaxed with your friends, then suddenly you get sad, or even angry. it’s hard to deal with this, especially because your emotions are quite intense. this could make you argue a lot with your peers. even though it takes you a while to find someone willing to stay, when that moment finally comes you’ll embody cancer’s best trait: that is, you’ll become a ‘mother’ to your friends, lover etc. you have a very nurturing soul, you have a knack for affection and care, and you could even get kind of clingy, even though you may feel limitated to give your love to someone else. cancer is a cardinal sign, hence you may be the one to take initiative, yet you do it undirectly. you’re probably the passive-aggressive type, even though this may be mitigated by your dramatic and impulsive aquarius moon. you’re most likely also quite patient, even though you don’t forgive easily. once someone tries to take advantage of you, it’s over for them.

🌙 moon in aquarius, 20° / 3rd decan ruled by uranus and venus

with the moon in aquarius, you must be very unpredictable. you’re the type to change your mind often, probably because you’re constantly coming up with new thoughts and theories since you’re so intellectually active. you seem emotionally cold, and you may actually be like that. in your case though, I see that with your heavy water energy, you feel so much all at once that at one point you need to detach from reality to calm down. even though you have troubles showing this side of you, you’re deeply quite sensitive. you’re very creative and intelligent, even though you may risk to waste this potential of yours; in fact, I’ve noticed that most aquarius moons tend to put their intelligence aside because they’re way too rebel to keep up with it. it’s such a shame. perhaps, in school you didn’t really push yourself to the max, or overall you don’t give all of yourself to things that are not of your interest. you’re only a perfectionist with things you care about, and this could make you waste some of your potential. this placement, considering that it’s also conjunct your neptune, makes you extremely spiritual. you may have some sort of psychic talent, or at least you’re just very intuitive. you’re interested in finding out the truth in the world, and you’re willing to dive deep to uncover it.

aquarius moon opposite leo venus: there are contrasting feelings in your relationships with others; after all, your leo venus wants to commit to someone and be loyal to them. on the other hand, your aquarius moon wants to be free. you don't want to feel tied to someone, you still need your independency. those two desires of yours probably contrast each other, stressing you out. you want a calm, almost boring relationship, but with this placement you can't seem to have one. your feelings and self-esteem may depend a lot on your relationships, not only with your lovers, but also with your friends. if someone isn't loyal to you, you immediately start blaming yourself. in your life you may lack intimacy, and while it may make you feel better at first, based on the rest of your chart you actually need someone on your side. you can't do everything on your own. it's very challenging, but you need to find someone that projects your ideals of love. if you need a free-spirit, go look for one. it may take you a while, but if you learn all the lessons you need to learn from your breakups, you'll be able to live a peaceful life with your spouse.

🗣 mercury in gemini, 15° / 2nd decan ruled by mercury and venus

mercury is in its natural place in gemini, your whole chart flows very well! you have great problem-solving skills, you are extremely intelligent and astute. when you were younger, you probably used to be the winner at games like hide-and-seek. this placement also enhances your thirst for knowledge of any kind, you want to learn at least a little about anything, from science to foreign cultures. yet, since you want to learn so many things all at once, you may lack precision and be a little bit superficial. on the other hand, you're a fast learner and with all of your water placements you may also be very intuitive. you may often find people predictable, but in reality you're just ahead of them. you're also very open-minded, even though you still rely more on logic, not like your sister sign is sagittarius. yet, it's easy for you to be flexible in your day-to-day life, you don't have to follow a schedule to have everything under control, even though you may often suffer from stress and headaches due to this lack of organization. you may have a very youthful and positive voice, you just give off good vibes, you know?

gemini mercury conjunct gemini saturn: you can come off as cold by the way you speak. when you're speaking to someone you're not close to, you choose your words more wisely and patiently; with your friends, on the other hand, you take off your mask and you just act the way you feel to. you may also be the type to give dry answers, such as 'ok', 'alright', 'good' and so on. your tone is calm and placid, while your voice sounds quite youthful, but still with a note of steadiness. you're funny, but your humor is more sarcasm-based. you're not intimidated easily; even when someone tries to argue with you, you don't back up from it. you may dive deep into your mind to find the right answer you to your problem. even if it takes you some time, you manage to find a solution. a downside to this is that you may lack patience.

gemini mercury opposite sagittarius pluto: you may become a bit manipulative. you probably don’t even realize it, though, as you have the ability to make people do what you want them to do. you probably love being right, especially during arguments, and you always manage to be so thanks to your skills. your words are like knives for others, they can truly cut deep through their ego. you’re direct and blunt, as you just say what you have in mind with no filters. you can develop a provocative attitude without even realizing it, which can obviously cause you conflicts. you need to be more careful about how you communicate your ideas, otherwise you could seriously damage other people’s self-esteem. on the other hand, if you acknowledge your flaws and work on them, this can actually turn into diplomacy. take advantage of your interest in your inner self to find out how to be a bit more gentle in choosing your words.

❤️ venus in leo, 15° / 2nd decan ruled by the sun and jupiter

with leo venus you're very picky, as you have high expectations for your future partner. you always try to be at your best state, and you want those who surround you to be perfect too. it's hard for you to fall for someone, as you take everything in consideration: personality, physical appearance, fashion sense... it may look like it is too much, but once you find the right one that truly satisfies your standards, you're in for a long ride. you'll want to travel, live your life in the best way possible with the person you love. you look at them as if they were the brighest star in the sky, and you want to be seen like this as well. you may even be a bit clingy, but your partner needs to be aware of that. they can't repress your need for affection. you see love as a way to revive your inner child, you feel younger when you're in love. even though you want someone fun and outgoing, you also need someone ambitious, hard-working and generally serious when it comes to committing. there's no room in your life for flaky people.

☄️ mars in cancer, 20° / 3rd decan ruled by the moon and neptune

in life, you have the need of feeling grounded and stable. you want to feel secure, and that makes you think deeply about your decisions, you don’t rush them. you think deeply about what to do and / or say, you are very cautious. this sense of being careful makes you quite indecisive, especially since you also have your sun in the sign of cancer, this energy is even stronger. you may change your mind often, or perhaps it takes you a lot to finally make a decision because you kept changing your mind. you tend to try and be collected whenever someone is getting on your nerves, but your feelings are extremely intense to totally bottle them up. you either get slightly passive-aggressive, and hence you could get very sarcastic and call them out indirectly, or perhaps you just lose your temper and face them angrily. possibly, you could even be the type to bottle up all of your feelings, until you explode all of a sudden. that can also make you more furious than normal, as you have all these repressed, strong feelings inside of you that were screaming to get out. you’re also extremely protective of your loved ones, especially of your family.

cancer mars conjunct cancer jupiter: you are driven by a strong sense of justice that makes you want to discover the truth. you hate lies of any kind, you want sincerity from those around you and you're the first to be constantly honest. you value your freedom a lot, your life motto is most likely 'live and let live'. you think everyone should live their lives by their own standards, without feeling afraid of being judged or criticized. you're a very pure and genuine person, you hardly ever judge a book by its cover, and you're also extremely open-minded. you're thirsty for knowledge of any kind, you're always up to learn something new. you may also be interested in foreign languages and cultures, as well as philosophy, literature... anything that can teach you something new about the world. you may be quite impulsive, and when you get angry you tend to be very blunt. you may say things that hurt others, as you're brutally honest, even though that wasn't your intention. you may also appear as flaky, since you don't like feeling tied to something or someone. you could often change your favourite colour, food, singer... you despise boredom, and your need for freshness may also manifest in your relationships.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in cancer. the first house rules the exterior, while the moon, cancer’s ruler, rules the inner part of yourself. that means that the way you look depends on how you are inside; if you’re sad, you may have this very depressed look not only on your face, but also in your eyes above all. or perhaps, you could be the type to be what you eat, so you could gain weight easily as soon as you don’t eat clean. you could also be quite weak, you don’t really have high stamina, you’d rather sleep than work out, but being physical active is extremely important for you. you come across as someone very shy, and you most likely are, even though you give off very good vibes, you don’t look intimidating but rather cute. you come off as someone very kind and warm, people probably look up to you for your manners. you also have mars and jupiter placed in this house: you tame dying before making the amount of experiences you want to have in your life, hence you could even be impulsive sometimes. you’re the type to always be up to crack a joke or anything that can make you and others smile, yet when someone gets against you, it’s over for them. you have quite of a sharp tongue, you’re pretty blunt and straight-forward. in fact, you may often get in troubles due to your impulsiveness, which may be misunderstood.

your 2nd house is in leo, with also your venus in this house. your self-esteem depends on matters like money, possessions, as well as your influence on others. you may feel confident when you’re praised and spoiled with compliments and material things, you may enjoy being in the spotlight as it increases your self-confidence, even though you’re quite shy so you don’t feel very at ease. you feel confident when you’re able to earn money and you’re financially stable, and hence you probably felt guilty as a child to ask your parents for money for example. you probably love luxury, you aspire to become very wealthy, live in the house of your dreams, etc. you could also dream of becoming famous. and actually, with this placement, you could make money from leo-related matters, and hence being in the spotlight, creativity (especially theatre / drama), comedy, etc. venus here indicates that you seek long-lasting relationships. you're very romantic, and this fixed influence gives you high standards for your partner, you stay back from players. you look for someone you can always count on, and that is willing to support you through thick and thin. it may take you a while to find someone worth to be your lover, but once you find them, you'll always be loyal to them as long as they're respectful. you're also the type who likes to be spoiled by their lover, and wants to make lovely gifts as well. these gifts don't have to be expensive, even homemade things are fine. for example, you may melt at the thought of your significant other to take their time and do something exclusively for you, like baking a cake or writing a poem. little gestures that show you their love. in a potential partner, you also care about how they present themselves. I'm not necessarily talking about conventional beauty, but more on a self-care side. you like people who smell good, have a nice fashion sense and maybe people that are quite conceited too (obviously not to the point of narcissism).

your 3rd house is in virgo. you’re very precise and polite in the way you express your thoughts. you’re probably very careful to grammar, vocabulary etc… you love looking and being knowledgeable. you’re more of a logical type rather than an intuitive person, you hardly ever do something only out of curiosity. you’re very cautious about the decisions you make, and hence it could take you some time to finally choose something, but that’s because you just don’t want to regret anything. you think deeply about your choices, and most of the time they turn out to be right. you’re strongly opinionated, but you may be a bit too harsh when you express your ideas. sometimes you could even hurt someone, as you’re extremely honest. you don’t like sugar-coating your words. you’re also very intelligent and hard-working, and you can’t stand messy things. you’re probably very neat, you like having schedules and you may even keep an agenda / diary where you keep track of your appointments and other things you have to do.

your 4th house is in libra. your physical home was probably very pleasant and beautiful; you may have a conventionally beautiful family, or at least they’re particularly attractive and charming. your house may also be very well-designed and elegant, doesn’t matter how big it is. you probably see your parents as ideal, they are your role models and you look up to them. perhaps, it could be that you felt misunderstood, maybe your parents were a bit materialistic or lacked empathy, but overall you had a great childhood, you have a good relationship with your parents and siblings if you have them. it could also be that you dated lots of people when you were a teen, or at least you had lots of friends. you certainly have lovely memories of your early years, and your parents most likely have a good relationship too.

your 5th house is in scorpio, with also your pluto being here. your hobbies most likely include self-expression of any kind, anything that you consider private is told through your creativity. also, with scorpio in this house, you may as well be attracted to darker hobbies like astrology, tarots… possibly, you may be into thriller or even into horror. you may also like psychology, criminology… this type of things that are able to stimulate your mind in some way. you could possibly want to be a risk-taker, deep down. also, you want to become a master in what you like, and hence you tend to go extreme to become perfect. you may dedicate a lot of your spare time to your hobbies, for example, even if you have to work. your romantic relationships may be very intense, you could attract particularly jealous or even obsessive partners in your life. some of them may be painful, but they’ll be essential to become mature and grow up into a better, wiser person. in addition, I see you as the type of person who doesn’t like showing off their partner. you probably keep both your love interests and hobbies personal, you only talk a little about them to your close, trusted friends, especially with your pluto in this house that makes this energy even stronger.

your 6th house is in sagittarius. you are most likely very dedicated to your routine; you could have some workaholic tendencies, you feel the need to be perfect at whatever you want to do in life. in fact, you probably don’t realize that you work more than you should, as you have fun at work and you also like taking care of yourself. if you’re into working out, you could be the type to workout everyday even if it’s not necessary because it makes you feel good. or perhaps, you could literally skip your sleep just to finish a book you started writing. you’re used to work hard, and hence you most likely do it with pleasure if it involves something you love doing. you try to be very productive in your day-to-day life, even though you don’t mind including fun and relax in your routine either. you may have a ‘light’ work, that is you could turn an hobby of yours into a job, or perhaps you’ll make lots of friends or even lovers on your work place that will make it more pleasant for you to go to work. you may also be very lucky, you could easily get jobs that offer a nice income for example. your health could also be pretty good.

your 7th house is in capricorn, with also neptune sitting there. this placement makes you very patient with other people, you could be the type to give other possibilities to others for example. capricorn in the 7th house may also manifest in a lack of romanticism in an individual, but I don’t think it’s totally your case. I assume that you are quite romantic, but exactly because of your romanticism, you tend to get very picky. you want your partner to meet your ideals of perfection, and hence you may often end up not dating anyone, or being let down by your own lovers. actually, you could even be afraid of love, especially because there could be a lot of karma around your relationships. you could have to experience lots of hardships throughout your love life, but they’ll help you become more mature. it’s also recommended to get married after your saturn return with this placement, hence after your 27/28 years. you may in fact attract partners that could be quite moody and unconventional, probably very emotional as well. with neptune here, you tend to idealize your crushes/partners way too much, to the point that you create an image of someone in your head that turns out to be the opposite at the end. you ignore your partner’s flaws as they seem perfect to you, so be careful to that.

your 8th house is in aquarius, with also your moon placed there. you could possibly have an unexpected yet barely painful death, or perhaps someone in your life has died / will die all of a sudden, you may often experience scenarios of this kind. possibly, you could even die due to electricity, and or at least it will be a very fast death, I don’t see it being violent or turbulent at all. or maybe, you’re surrounded by unpredictable events of loss of any kind in your life. that is, it could also happen with your money. it’s important not to risk too much with this placement, especially with gambling, or you may end up getting in serious problems. you’re fascinated by the occult, and you may even be/been able to talk to dead people. you’re very intuitive, and it’s easy for you to read through people’s words. you may as well have prophetic dreams. you tend to preserve yourself, even though it’s hard for you to repress your emotions, as they’re too to intense to bottle them up. you absorb people’s feelings like a sponge, there’s no way that you won’t instantly understand their real emotions. overall, you tend to overreact a lot; you have cancer's sensitive energy on one side and 8th house’s mysterious, almost scary vibe. dealing with these emotional burnouts may be stressing to you, as you totally get caught up in them. even if it looks like you get to know other people often, you actually don’t let others know you. you only open up to people you’re sure you can trust.

your 9th house is in pisces. this is definitely a nice placement! the result is that you’re probably extremely open-minded and imaginative. you hardly ever have have prejudices, you don’t judge a book by its cover. you’re extremely opinionated, and combined with your virgo 3rd house you’re constantly looking for the truth. you hate it when people say something wrong for example, you can’t help but correct them. you could also be religious and believe in a god. philosophy, literature and poetry are also a part of your many interests. in addition, you’re most likely also into foreign languages and cultures. you could travel a lot, or perhaps with your pisces in the house cusp you like travelling with your mind. you probably literally create stories in your head, you’re extremely imaginative. a good advice would be not to waste this talent of yours; you could actually make your fantasies concrete and express them through creative outlets: books, drawings, songs, choreographies… basically, it would be a waste to only keep them for you. you may also learn about more creative topics rather than school subjects.

your 10th house is in aries. with your 10th house cusp in the energetic sign of aries, you need a career that allows you to be independent, you probably prefer working alone than in groups. or perhaps, you actually aspire to become a boss, a ceo, someone people look up to, and if you work hard you may actually become an influential person in your work place / field. you aspire to be successful and you want to be wealthy thanks to yourself only, and you may actually develop some good luck in your career life. your future job may also require something related to physical action, and hence you may have to move a lot for your job, perhaps you may pursue acting to include something creative that also requires you to move. the sun here also makes you gain a reputation for being responsible and mature, you have a strong charisma and you probably seem very put-together to others.

your 11th house is in taurus, mercury is also placed in this house. you could possibly attract people with taurus traits, and hence your friends could be quite stubborn and possessive, but also very loyal and responsible. they could possibly be wealthy, and they could have some artistic, creative interest and / or talent just like you. you may have some trust issues, you’re careful about who you trust, and hence you’re quite cautious about who you befriend. your long-term goals include financial stability, you may be quite materialistic as you enjoy wealth. yet, I assume that thanks to your water placements you’re not as work-focused as other earth placements, you actually also value emotions and feelings too. I feel like you probably have very big goals and dreams that you want to come true. mercury in the 11th also indicates that you may often befriend people, you may be very sociable and make friends easily or perhaps you just attract lots of people in your life.

your 12th house is in gemini, with also saturn and the sun sitting there. the 12th house is the house of fears and gemini rules over communication, and hence you could be afraid to approach others, you’re very shy. you don’t like speaking in public either, same goes for expressing your opinions. you’re always afraid that people may judge you for your ideas, your interests and for the way you speak. on the other hand, you’re a quite spiritual individual. during your sleep you probably get to have lots of meaningful dreams, even though you may sometimes not remember many of them, or even none. it’s a skill of yours that you’ll be able to embrace once you finally wake up spiritually. as I’ve already mentioned above, you could have prophetic dreams and, with gemini’s presence in this house, spirits, angels and other higher entities may try to communicate with you through your dreams or subconscious. you may also be the type to talk non-stop when you’re drunk, and you may even have a habit of talking to yourself. the sun is also here: this is kind of a tricky placement, as the sun rules the self, the ego, and the 12th house rules fears. you could be afriad of being too confident, of feeling worth it, or even just by being in the spotlight. perhaps, you have stage fright. this fear of embracing your persona makes you very insecure, even though you probably don’t show it. also, since your 12th house is the house of dreams, you could often make dreams that involve yourself. you hardly ever dream of someone else, and if you they’re probably your lovers, possibly your friends. due to saturn’s influence in this house, I assume it could be hard for you to fully embrace these spiritual skills of yours. in fact, you may be a bit too pragmatic to embrace your spirituality. I think you’re already working this out since you’ve booked an astrology reading to discover more about yourself, but remember that you should definitely try to get more in touch with your soul! even doing simple stretching, meditation or yoga can help give you some space to think about your identity, your wants and your needs. you may also be a religious person or have any kind of higher belief. the 12th house is also the house of fears, and since saturn is here you may be afriad of authority, like the police for example, or anything that appears to be much bigger and more supported than you. it may also manifest in fear of not being organized, and also fear of money / success loss.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love you attract capricorn, aquarius, virgo, scorpio and pisces placements and/or traits. your future spouse will most likely have virgo traits or placements. they’ll be very similiar to you: secretive and hard-working, but also with a warm, loyal heart and a hidden insecurity to them. you may meet them at work, or perhaps even abroad. perhaps they could be foreign, or maybe you're going to meet them on vacation or even at college. your children will most likely have strong scorpio traits: they’ll be very smart and intense, but also very sensitive deep down. also, they’ll be extremely intelligent and more mature as time goes by. they’ll also have a tender side to them, but that is often overshadowed by their seriousness.

👶🏻 family life

your father is a very fiery, impulsive person, with a short-temper. he could have even been quite violent with you during your childhood, and he might have a bit of a childish behaviour, even though I don't really think it's your case thanks to your libra ic. deep down, he’s actually kind of insecure with his role as a father, but he may hate to admit it. he may have aries, cancer, sagittarius or scorpio placements in his chart. your mother, on the other hand, is slighly more submissive. she’s mostly a peaceful and emotional person, even though she most probably has a passive-aggressive behaviour. she could be conventionally beautiful, or at least she likes taking care of herself. she may have libra or taurus placements in her chart, as well as pisces. if you have siblings, they’re probably very peaceful and intelligent. they may also be very kind, as well as organized. their rooms probably look immaculate. they could have virgo or gemini placements in their charts.

📊 career

you’re a very ambitious person, and hence I don’t see you being the type to scrap projects. especially with your aries midheaven, you’re motivated to complete your works in order to show that you’re able to succeed, you want to be the best in what you do. I can also see you being a good therapist, psychologist, possibly even a doctor of any kind, even though I’d avoid practical and boring jobs if I were in you. your strong cancer energy struggles to be cold-minded at times, and hence working in a stressful environment could be dangerous for you and for your mental health, as you may absorb others’ negativity and stress. actually, I feel like the most suited career for you would be something that allows you to be in charge, to be your own boss as you know what’s best for you. you may also do well as a teacher or professor, or perhaps you could work as a journalist or as an interpreter or translator, anything that has to do with foreign cultures and languages.

👕 fashion sense, style analysis

keyword for your wardrobe: black. every leo venus loves black, it's probably my favorite love story. after all, it's such a versatile color! it can be both badass and classy, how can I blame you. you may also have a thing for anything that looks luxury and high quality; you probably enjoy wearing designer brands, especially in your belts and bags. you may also like wearing fitted clothes, even just simple skinny jeans or tight tops. aside from black, you could as well use white and bold colours like gold, hot pink etc. also, you may as well be into pastel colors, and you could like following fashion trends.

👁 past life, life purpose

in your past lifetime, you used to put your spirituality aside for a while to focus on finding out your identity here on the earth. you learned how to be responsible, healthy and stable on the earth. you know your values, and they’re already very grounded, you’re very mature from this point of view. in this lifetime, you now need to get more in touch with your spirituality. you need to get close to your higher self, and you may actually be quite skilled at it; probably you may interpret your dreams, you could be interested in religion, what’s beyond the world, and you’re most likely also interested in astrology and other occult matters. you’ll finally be able to reach happiness and fulfill your soul when you start having awareness of your soul’s purpose. since you’ve booked a reading, I’m sure you’re already on the right path, so keep going this way.

🤔 major transits analysis / june 8th

with transit mars in your first house conjunct your natal mars and jupiter, in these days you could be feeling more confident and assertive, you probably are motivated to achieve your goals more than usual. yet, you need to be careful because you could also be quite impulsive, so you may end up saying things that you don't actually mean out of anger, and therefore you could end up arguing with others. you could also take decisions without thinking, so be careful to be rational with this transit.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

with your water placements, you probably have a 6th sense. you’re able to manifest what you want if you subconsciously predict it, even though it may be hard. you’d have to get in touch with your higher self to do so, and hence I would suggest you to light up some candles and meditate for a bit before manifesting, in this way it will be way more effective. you may manifest something while daydreaming, for example. or perhaps, you can also try listening to your own affirmations while you sleep, as you won’t be consciously aware of that. it’s probably the most effective way.

and this it!! thank you again for booking a reading, hope it resonated with you :)

- libramc xx

[andmaybegayer]

Last Monday Of The Week 2021-01-24

I actually had to write software at work this week, the audacity. A lot of TV this week because my brother recommended stuff to the whole family so they badgered me into watching with them which took up a lot of my free hours. I usually watch like three hours of TV/Movies a week max but this took it well past six.

Listening: I got really into LCD Soundsystem at the end of last year and I decided to look up some stuff about them: All My Friends was apparently rated the number one song of 2007 by Pitchfork, which checks out. What a great song, I’m a big fan of the repetitive piano which is just two very simple triplet patterns offset from each other but that produces a very soothing rhythm. Also, I continue to be in love with whatever feeling is meant to be evoked by “Losing My Edge”

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Reading: The Illiad, which I have just barely cleared the academic introduction to. It is very much spoiling the whole plot but I guess when your book is almost three thousand years old you can’t blame them for thinking you’ve read it already. Like star wars.

I am looking very forward to seeing every single person be an absolute bastard in this story. A side effect of having played Hades a lot a few weeks back is that I imagine all the gods with the voice and appearance of the Hades interpretation.

(Also! Scott Alexander is back on the internet at large and not just scratchpadding!)

Watching: Finished the new Netflix Lupin series, which ends on a decent cliffhanger. Love a good Crime story. Anticipating the next season.

Watched the first episode of the Snowpiercer series on Netflix and The Good Place each, at my brother's behest.

Turns out like half the reaction images from The Good Place are taken from the first episode. Wild! I will eventually watch the show everyone else was extremely into, as usual, but it will take years. Maybe less because it now counts for this section of Last Monday.

Snowpiercer! More of Snowpiercer, a really promising and poorly executed movie based on what I hear is a good book. I never read it. My brother pitches it as being a very both-sides story but he also thinks that's a good thing so I hope he's wrong about at least one of those. He watches a lot of TV but he is also a person who is really into The Office so make of that what you will.

Playing: Heat Signature Daily Missions Are My Passion. For a while in University I had a three month streak of attempting the Daily. I'm pretty good at it, I almost always make Top 10, I really wish there was a good way to send steam friend requests to my fellow Daily Players. There's several regulars who have even longer streaks than me, it's fun to finish up and see how you did relative to the other regulars. I miss a day every week or so nowadays, but it's a nice anchor to have on my video game life. I should record my dailies sometimes.

Making: Work continues on the Mega Embroidery Project, albeit slowly because I have been busier this week than usual.

Secondary making: I got one of those steel workbenches for my room so that I'd have somewhere to do $dayjob but it's also a very nice embroidery equipment storage space. My dad and I shuffled some of the fancy wall-mounted drawers I inherited from my brother to make room and ensure that they can still open in my increasingly cramped bedroom. We live in a real country where buildings are made of bricks so this involves drilling 10mm diameter masonry holes and hammering in expander bolts.

Computers Slot: I hoped this would be about successfully installing Gentoo but power cuts on Sunday have blocked my progress, so instead I'll just shout out KXStich and Stitchy, two open source cross-stitch tools. KXStitch is made by my favourite large open source development collective, the KDE project, <3 KDE. I have never done cross-stitch before but being able to make my own patterns easily might accelerate my timeline.

[zombiesbecrazy]

Onion Rings

Summary: Damian stopped abruptly and lifted in his head to a gathering of people across the room. Clark zoned in and realised what was happening very quickly.“He’s drunk?”

for @audreycritter‘s birthday!

AO3

*****

“Mr. Kent?”

Clark’s eyes widened at the words before he turned. It was an address that he was used to, but not from this particular voice. It wasn’t at all like Damian to address him, or almost any adult as Mister, but this was a museum opening and he must be on his best Wayne heir behaviour for the formal event. Alfred would be proud.

“Yes?”

“My father is in need of assistance getting back to the hotel.”

“He drove here himself, right?”

“Yes, but he seems to find himself indisposed and needs extraction.”

“Lead the way.” It was a weird request from Damian. Clark and Bruce did have a public relationship, but it was mostly professional, only meeting up at events or pre-arranged meetings. In those instances they did come across as friendly, but at an event like this, Damian wouldn’t normally seek out Clark at all, let alone ask for help in something as small as getting him home. At worse, even Bruce’s public persona knew how to call an Uber.

Damian stopped abruptly and lifted in his head to a gathering of people across the room. Clark zoned in and realised what was happening very quickly.

“He’s drunk?” Clark had only seen Bruce drunk a handful of times and they were in very contained situations. It wasn’t out of the norm to see Bruce acting drunk, playing up the part of an affable idiot, but this looked like full on actual drunkenness. Loud, carrying voice, staggering posture, hands waving dramatically as he spoke. Clark could hear his elevated heartrate now that he was concentrating on it.

This wasn’t calculated. This was real.

“Luthor spiked his drink.” Damian crossed his arms and sniffed as he watched the display in front of him. “And with the amount of paparazzi outside, I can’t be behind the wheel to get him back safely myself.”

Not to mention that he’s thirteen and shouldn’t be driving regardless of who may see it. “Alright. I’ll look after it.” Damian turned to walk away. “Wait, don’t you want a ride, too?”

He paused and spun around again, shaking his head. “I’m fine. I’m going to go to Jon’s house.”

“My house.”

Damian clicked his tongue in annoyance, like he did what he thought someone was asking a redundant question that was beneath him. “Yes.”

“It’s 11:30, Damian. Jon’s asleep. He has been for several hours.”

“The text he sent me three minutes ago suggests otherwise.”

Clark groaned, because of course the son of Batman was slowly turning the son of Superman into being nocturnal. “Fine, but I’m letting Lois know you are on your way and you have to go to bed. No other activities. No outside activities.” His face was blank, undecipherable to an outsider if they were to overhear the conversation, but his message was clear.

“Fine,” huffed Damian. He was doing his best to look put out, but Clark caught the way that his eyes stayed trained on Bruce across the room, who had an arm resting around Lex Luthor’s shoulders, and a booming laugh that travelled through the room. He really was concerned if he had asked Clark for help. “Thank you, Kent. For looking after him.”

“Thank you for getting me, Damian.”

As Clark got closer he noticed that Bruce was flushed and clumsy, both things that he could fake with ease from his training, but his pupils were blown out to the max, something he couldn’t do on command, despite how many times Bruce insisted that he could. This wasn’t drunk like Clark has originally guessed. This was drugged, which was worse.

Clark quickly pulled out his phone to text Lois about their incoming house guest and then after pocketing it again, strolled up casually between the two men, and raised his hand in offer to Bruce. A greeting or a lifeline depending on who was looking at it. “Nice to see you having a good time, Mr. Wayne. It’s been awhile since you’ve been in Metropolis.”

“Clark!” exclaimed Bruce, beaming as if he hadn’t seen him in months and not earlier that evening before the gala, grumbling about Alfred sending him off in a Ted Baker suit instead of the Brioni that Bruce preferred. He grabbed Clark’s hand tight and pulled him in for a hug that to any outsider would look like was just an overly friendly tipsy Bruce Wayne thing to do, but Clark felt Bruce’s fingers curl into his jacket a little bit. Lifeline it was. Bruce pulled back again and clapped his hand on Clark’s shoulder. “Lex, have you met Clark? He’s my favourite reporter at the Planet. He always writes the nicest things about me. We talked after my company started working with that other company about that thing? The thing with the stuff that makes energy clean somehow? I don’t know how it works but it sounds neat. He’s so nice about everyone, don’t you think?”

Luthor raised his drink, and Clark saw him grinning behind the glass, and he had to refrain himself from punching the smile off his face. “We’re acquainted, but that hasn’t been my experience with Mr. Kent,” he drawled. “It seems like he doesn’t always agree with my ideas or how I conduct my business.”

“Really?” Bruce sounded surprised, and even pouted a little, like he was sad that the two of them didn’t get along, before shrugging and smiling again. “Oh. I wouldn’t know. I only read my own press. Gets boring when it isn’t about me.” Bruce’s drunken eyes lit up with glee and he gasped suddenly. “Clark, do you remember the burger place you took me to near the Planet that one time?”

Clark had never taken Bruce for burgers near the Planet if you didn’t count his own apartment, but he decided to play along. “You mean Superburger?”

“Yes!” Bruce snapped his fingers in Luthor’s face urgently, as if it was the most important thing in the world. “Lex, have you tried it? The onion rings, Lex. The onion rings.” Bruce shook Clark’s shoulder, like a child distracted by a new idea that had sank its teeth into them. “Can we go get some, Clark? I would kill for some of those.”

“Bruce, I’m sure Mr. Kent still has work to do,” said Luthor, clearly in attempt to keep Bruce with him. “People to interview and then inaccurately interpret their intentions about in the press later.”

“Actually, I’m done for the night and would love a burger. Escargot and caviar aren’t exactly my idea of a good meal.”

“Great! Let’s go now!” Bruce linked his arm with Clark’s and started to lead them towards the door. He waved back in a way that could only be described as thrashing. “Bye, Lex!”

Getting Bruce into the car was both very easy and extremely difficult at the same time. The valet brought the car around quickly, but trying to get Bruce to sit in the passenger seat instead of the driver’s seat took more convincing than Clark had expected, and then his limbs were all flaily when trying to get into the two seater. Only when Clark realised that Damian had the passenger seat pulled up closer to the dash and he released the latch to accommodate for Bruce’s long legs did things get easier.

He had also not expected to be confused the moment that he tried to put the car into drive. “Umm. I don’t know how to drive this.”

“You grew up on a farm. You can drive. I’ve seen you fly alien spaceships.” The last part trailed off into a mock whisper, as if Bruce knew that that was a secret, but couldn’t remember how to be quiet. Even with just a few words, and even while drugged, Clark could see the shift from Bruce Wayne into just Bruce, the Bruce that Clark knew best. Now that he was out of the crowd and in the safety of the car, the playboy demeanor gone and he appeared to be draining of energy fast.

“Sure, but where is the gear shift? I can’t drive the car if I can’t get the car out of park.”

“Oh.” Bruce looked around the dash, as if trying to remember what car he was in, before he pointed. “It’s the shifter that you normally use for the wipers.”

“Then how do you use the…” he spotted a wiper button on the console “Never mind.” He flicked the shifter down into drive and pulled away from the museum and started heading towards Bruce’s hotel. “You don’t strike me as the type of guy who would drive automatic.”

“I don’t usually. I just wanted to drive a red car. My Metropolis red car is automatic.”

Only Bruce Wayne would refer to a Jaguar that probably wasn’t going to be released to the public until next year as ‘his red car’.

“You know, everything I drive is an alien spaceship, technically,” said Clark. “Unless it’s at the Fortress or its Kara’s pod, it’s alien to me.”

“What about your pod?”

“I was a baby. I don’t fit anymore.” A few moments passed in silence. Bruce fumbled around in the glove compartment and pulled out a bottle of water. He seemed to have trouble twisting the cap, but finally managed. “What happened tonight?”

“Lex spiked my drink. Couldn’t ditch it without suspicion so…” Bruce took a long sip of the water, draining half the bottle and wincing as he swallowed, “down it went.”

“You okay?”

“I’m fine.”

Clark sighed. It was the ongoing battle. Bruce and Clark. Batman and Superman. Fine never meant fine. Fine meant that he was planning on struggling through whatever it was by himself, except Clark never actually let him do that. It was all part of the dance. “What was it?”

“Something similar to flunitrazepam, but it’s been mixed with something else.”

“That’s like Rohypnol, right?”

“Similar.” He ran his hands through his hair, product making it stand up strange in all directions. “I have a tolerance to it, but being cut with something else means I am compromised.” Clark thought that compromised was a polite way of saying ‘wasted off his ass’ but ignored the word choice.

“But why?” Why in the heck would Lex bother with roofie-ing Bruce Wayne? What could be the benefit, unless… “Does he know?” Lex was smart and had known Bruce a long time, both as the business mogul and as Batman. It wasn’t a far leap to connect the two.

Bruce shook his head and looked like he immediately regretted it, and held his hand to his mouth for a moment, fighting a wave of nausea. “Corporate sabotage.” Clark raised an eyebrow, but kept his eyes on the road in front of him. “Happens more than you would expect. Probably just trying to get me to do something stupid publicly. Maybe leak some info that shouldn’t be leaked.” He cracked the window and rested his head in a position that the fresh air hit his face, eyes closed. “Jokes on him. It’s better for me long term if Bruce Wayne looks stupid.”

“You are Bruce Wayne.”

“Potato, tomato.”

“If you say so.” Clark struggled to keep a straight face. He stopped at a red light and turned his head to get a better look at Bruce. “How do you feel?” It was a better question than asking if he was okay. It had more parameters.

“Honestly?” Bruce fidgeted in the seat some.  “Twitchy. Like when you are overtired and your legs get restless, but I feel like that everywhere.” The light changed and Clark continued to drive. Bruce was silent for a few more lights and Clark was wondering if he had drifted off before he started talking again. “Jason used to do that. When his legs started twitching randomly I know that I had to send him off to bed. He’d argue about it, but go.” Bruce inhaled audibly and let it out shakily. “I miss him.”

Clark had seen Bruce go down this path countless times. Whenever he was hurt or sick or drugged, there was the inevitable tipping point when he started talking about Jason; the Jason from before the Joker. The boy that he had lost. Bruce worried about all his kids, his protégés, but this one in particular always came up when he was at his most vulnerable.

Clark reached across and gave Bruce’s hand a squeeze. “He’s safe, Bruce. He’s okay.”

“But we’re not,” mumbled Bruce. “Jason and I are not okay. We’re never okay. He hates me.”

“He doesn’t hate you. Not really.” Clark tried to think of the best way to put it that made sense. “It’s like when you run two bulls together. You’re a lot alike and you just end up fighting and hurting each other. You both get too emotional when you try to talk to each other.”

Bruce’s eyes popped open at that and he sat up straighter to stare at Clark, jaw dropped comically. “I’m too emotional?” Clark sniggered and nodded while Bruce continued to stare at him in a dumbfounded way. “And to think Dick always tells me I’m emotionally constipated.”

“Constipated is not the same thing as non-existent.” It was something that he had heard Dick say countless times, in many colourful different ways. “You get backed up, is all. Then when you and Jason get together it explodes out in unfortunate ways.” He smirked at Bruce. “I don’t think I need to actually say the obvious poop joke there for you to get my point.”

Bruce grunted in response and turned back to the window. Clark thought that the conversation was over, until Bruce piped up again. “That’s a shitty thing to say.”

Clark burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of it, and Bruce followed suit. For a few minutes it was just the two of them laughing in the car, not worrying about being drugged or Luthor or mistakes from the past. Just two friends being silly in a dark car in the middle of the night. It was moments like this when they were just normal people that Clark loved best.

Clark hit another red light and was at a literal crossroads. He had promised Damian one thing, but there was another, better option.

“Do you still want to go back to the hotel? Or my place? Damian’s sleeping over there tonight.”

“Hmm.” He thought the possibilities over for longer than it would have taken him on a normal night. “Your place if it is alright. I don’t want to be alone at the hotel.”

Clark nodded and turned right, in the direction of their apartment. “Home it is.”

“Wait. Pull over.” Bruce’s tone was urgent and insistent and Clark found himself pulling to the curb without hesitation.

“Why? Are you going to be sick?”

“No.” He pointed out the window, where the glowing lights of a Superburger were shining through the dark like a beacon. “I believe I was promised a burger.”

“I think you were more interested in the onion rings.”

“Burger, Clark,” said Bruce, in a familiar way to how he had sounded at the gala. Innocent and excited. “Getting food in me will only help.”

“Fine, but you have to eat it like a normal person. None of this ‘raised by a butler and uses a knife and fork’ nonsense.”

“Drunk Bruce Wayne can eat a burger like a heathen as long as there are a side of onion rings.”

“You’re an onion ring, you know,” said Clark. “A delightful onion with many rings.”

Bruce’s brow scrunched up in confusion, seemingly in deep thought. “I don’t get it. I have been drugged though. I’m not at my best for puzzles tonight.”

“You will in the morning, Dark Shrek.” Clark pulled the car into the drive through and up to the ordering screen. “Let’s go get that burger and go home.”

[ziracona]

hi can we pls have some uhhhh 🅱️uentin Smith headcanons, and some killers hcs if you want! I also lowkey hc Jake and Claudette to both be some degree of autistic, I imprint like a baby bird on my fav characters so I hc both Jake AND Quentin to be trans, and Quentin and Meg are ADHD infodump pals. Literally sitting around the cabin taking turns talking about something they love while the other is sitting there... no thoughts... head empty... they r supporting each other

Nice! And Claudette is canonically autistic according to her archives description as far as I can tell, and I’m so glad! You should check out @askthedreamwalker if you’re interested in Quentin art bc their Quentin is trans and they have really nice art! Also u right as hell about Quentin and Meg. He gets v excited and Meg and he can special-interest back and forth for hours One person is pitcher, pouring information into empty pitcher2, then the other takes a turn and pours back into first pitcher. Info dump support friends. Heaven.

And hells yeah, I love son boy! Idk if you mean ILM headcanons or general, so I’m just gonna go with gen. 

Quentin’s got a big sense of justice. Not okay with people getting away with terrible shit, which makes the realms extra unbearable (somewhere in the distance Yui and Tapp are like ‘cheers mate’). Holds people very accountable. Boy is very fair and got upstanding character. Expects people to operate with like bare minimum decency and ain’t about to let that shit go if someone wants to be a bastard. Last person ever to let a killer get a pass for going around murdering people in-realm and would hold them extremely accountable and be v willing to kill one in a fight and view them with disgust and righteous anger, but also be one of the first people willing to forgive a killer if they genuinely reformed, or got thrown to the survivor side by the Entity and actually chose to shape up and proved they meant it. He has a huge sense of justice and righteous anger, but also believes in forgiveness and second chances. (Within reason. If any of the particularly bastard killers like GF or Nightmare or Clown showed up with a completely ooc change of heart they will never have anyway, Quentin would be like “…listen. …There are some things only God can forgive…U gotta take this one to him…and away from me. Forever…”. Boy got those high-quality standards 👌

Used to be kinda high-strung, but then his life was a living hell for so long that he ran out of energy entirely and now he has no choice but to be mostly chill. If he gets a burst of energy, the old excitement power switch flips back on and he is both way more talkative and active, and happier. Unfortunately he is usually so worn out he’s about to drop.

Got a bit of a martyr complex. The fact that literally locking himself in hell with his worst nightmare worked does not help. Feels massive guilt over the fact that the Nightmare is in the realm bc of him, but is still kind of glad bc it means he’s not out there murdering his family. Hates that he feels that way because he thinks it’s kind of wrong. Views being stuck in the realm as sort of penance for having brought Krueger unintentionally. Afraid to tell other people it’s his fault because he’s scared they would never talk to him again, and the idea of losing his friends and complete isolation here is unbearable. Feels guilt over that choice, because he feels like he’s in a way lying to them, and that if they would hate him if they knew the truth, they have a right to. Boy loves his friends hard, but does not trust them to forgive him, or to trust in him, so he’s not always completely honest about not just that but anything he’s struggling with. Very sad dumbass. Suffers alone because he’s afraid to ask for help, and/or does not think he deserves it.

Really loves the other survivors and would do anything he could to protect them. Dies in the majority of his trials because he battles endlessly trying to keep the others from being the ones who die. In a way, he’s trying to make things up to them, but he would absolutely do the same just because he loves them, and did for a long time before he ever figured out Krueger and him being taken was his fault (not that I personally think that’s a fair way for the boy to view it). Optimistic externally, struggling internally. Absolutely refuses, ever, to give up, but is always right on the threshold of having a breakdown. Pushes the others to find a way to escape and tries to give them hope. Takes a lot of shit. Will not fight back much if teased just be like -__- and moves on. Doesn’t let people boss him around though, and will always do what he thinks personally is the right thing. Extremely forgiving. (Except to himself.)  Snark boy if opportunity presents itself. Can I offer you a shot of adrenaline in this trying time boy? the rest of the time.

Gives people the benefit of the doubt. Not a hoe. Would commit to a s/o very dedicatedly. Also not the kind of asshole who would cut down on time w friends when in a relationship. Boy’s love is not a zero sum game. Would die or kill for Laurie. Loves Claudette and learning botany tips from her. Thinks she is pretty and admires her kindness and skill and refusal to let the world change who she is, and wishes he was more like her. Has not told her that. Is a lot more like her in that regard than he thinks he is. Pretty damn good in a fight bc he always gets back up. Determinator. Still in love with Nancy and loyal af. Misses her a lot. Does not open up about himself as much as people think he does. Misses his dad and Nancy and his dead friends a lot, especially Jesse. Doesn’t actually talk about his problems much. Just suffers in silence because he doesn’t think he can ask for help.

Takes his faith seriously. Prays a lot, and struggles with feeling completely abandoned by God, but won’t give up on that either. Tries hard to believe he cares and things will change. Dedicated to trying to make sure that regardless of what his friends believe in, they are okay. Very sad and alone but tries to not think about that. Tries to help friends stay hopeful. Is both baby and badass sass boy in one package. Fight hard, love hard, someday will get to sleep for a whole year. 

If you are nice to him once, will assume that means you are friends now. Genuinely cares deeply for every single survivor at the campfire. Wants to protect people. Constantly suffering bc that’s impossible here. Really just wants everyone to be okay someday, including himself, and simultaneously kind of feels like he no longer deserves to be okay in the end at all. Tries not to think about that. Massive guilt issues. Bottles it up. Loyal as hell. Would die for his friends so much it actively worries them and they’re like “Quentin…please. Quentin-stop—stop. You’ll die again. I swear to god Quentin! I can die this time! Quentin!!! Come back here right now!” But he never comes back. Big sibling energy. Regularly people be like “Damn u could make a pretty fine lil brother out of this” and then they do. He loves so hard. Please be nice to him. He’s always trying so hard and never thinks it’s enough. He works so hard.

Triggers include being grabbed by his hair and jerked around, losing his necklace, the cave, and the Nightmare within 15 feet of someone he loves, so homeboy has just, a lot of bad days. Is playing a fun game called ‘I will absorb trauma forever and not get help for it and then one day it will kill me’. Needs to learn to depend on his friends.

Good sense of humor, enjoys reading and music. Will talk way too much about things he likes and not notice he’s done it and then feel bad. Dumbass sweetheart, will think he’s doing a great job flirting and be proud of himself when he did not, in fact, do a suave job, but it’s cute. Tries hard. All the time. At everything. God he tries.

I would do killer hcs too but this already so long and I cut like half of what I initially wrote rip. I have too many thoughts. Head full. : ( Here’s just a few little ones:

Myers does not like working for the Entity. It tried to pull a fast one and be like, “Yes tis I, another voice in your head,” and Michael was like “Bitch it’s my head. I don’t know you!” and that did not work. While Michael very much would love to kill Laurie and get inner peace, working for the entity provides 0% daily Michael needs, and he hates it. Sometimes he just does what the fuck he wants and gets in trouble (homeslice is the only killer who can kill survivors with no mori and no perk for it. Michael cannot be controlled). Does not like being here at all. He doesn’t cause the Entity a lot of trouble like Krueger does, so it doesn’t consider him a problem killer, but they do not have a ‘Ah yes my favorite killer’ kind of thing going. Michael hates the spider-monster. He is so tired of everything at this point. Boy is suffering. Would fight the Entity if he knew how. Has been hurt by it before, and does not like that, because it takes longer to heal than he is used to.

Myers has a few times had his home area be close enough to the campfire that he could see it in the distance, and he watches them when that happens. For hours. He is lonely, but does not realize that, and probably never will. He does stand there and watch them, being sad and not realizing he’s sad at all. It’s the closest he ever gets to human interaction aside from killing people in trials.

The Entity hurts Max sometimes, not because he has done anything wrong, but because injuring him without providing even a way to prevent it keeps him peak feral and afraid, just like it wants. No time to recover or learn or grow. Just anger and pain and fear.

The Entity promises Rin a lot of things. Not because it has to, but because it enjoys the taste of her suffering. One of her addons is paper cranes, one of 1000 to make a wish, as the description says. I’ve always interpreted that to mean it likes to screw with her and offer her things like that she can do between trials, in the moments of lucidity she occasionally has when completely alone. ‘Make 1000, get your wish,’ but every time she hits 999, it blows the ones she’s made away, and she has to start over. Unclimbable hill. Just to watch her struggle. That kind of thing. Intentionally tends to send survivors her way it knows she would dislike killing the most, just to watch her have to do it against her will and bask in the horror of what she cannot make herself not do.

[argylemikewheeler]

Will and Nancy’s reactions to finding out ab Mike jumping off that cliff at the Quarry in season 1 (this would probably be after season 2 ??? Idk but Dustin is the one who says it infront of Will and Mike is like oh yeah fuck that was a thing that happenednoimtotallyfine)

[this is inherently dark so tw for talking about, you know, almost dying. but i try not to get too dark. short and semi-sweet.]

The first time Mike ever heard anyone say it out loud, it was followed by the deafening shatter of one of Mrs. Byers’ dinner plates on the kitchen floor.

“Yeah, Mike’s tried that– he’s jumped clear off the cliff at the quarry. El saved him though, so… Obviously no death.”

They’d been reminiscing all afternoon before, during, and after lunch. They were graduating high school in four days and could barely remember the time as it passed by them. Dustin was recollecting that first fall with El– every strange adventure they’d brought her on, as if everyone forgot; although, Will and Max liked the recaps. The story always changed a little every time with their dynamic story telling. This time though, Dustin apparently added a whole new detail. It’d laid buried for five years.

The plate shattered by Will’s feet, his hands open and grasping at his chest. Mike whipped around in his chair at the sound, reaching out for Will and pulling him toward the table by his waist.

“What’s wrong, Will?”

“What’s wrong?” Will had the habit of repeating things he assumed Mike should’ve known the answer to. This was one Mike really didn’t know; he didn’t feel guilty for his ignorance.

“You know El saved us at the quarry. That’s the whole story there.” Mike shrugged it off and let his arm loop around Will’s hips, keeping him beside his chair. Mike tried to encourage nonchalance onto the other mortified faces at the table. “Hey, some of you were there. Stop looking like that! Dustin’s fine.”

“I’m not worried about Dustin at the moment.” Will said slowly. “Michael, you jumped off a cliff?”

“It’s not like that, Will. I didn’t try to like, die, or anything.” Mike scoffed. He placed his hand on Will’s stomach, trying to soothe the undoubted stirring inside of it. “The asshole said if I jumped Dustin would be fine, so I just did it– but El was there.”

“But you didn’t know she was there… right?” Max said, leaning forward on the table. “That’s never part of the story.”

“Not helping, Maxine.” Mike sighed, glaring at her.

“Hey, she has a fair point.” El chimed in. She wasn’t looking at them, instead staring at the shards of ceramic on the floor and carefully lifting them from the floor to the trash without lifting a finger. “I ran up just in time, Mike.”

“Yeah, but–”

“Mike, how could you not tell me about this?” Will began fretting Mike’s curls through his fingers. He knew he had upset Will now; curl touching either meant Will was absolutely and undeniably flirting with him, or he was trying to calm himself down with the repetitive and never ending motion of smoothing down his mop of hair. And Will didn’t seem to be in any kind of mood at the moment so, there was little left to interpret.

“It wasn’t important.”

“Not important!” Will repeated again. “Michael, you could have killed yourself!”

“Yeah, but I didn’t.” He said, almost laughing. “We’ve faced a lot worse, Will. I mean, the mall? Or how about nearly being eaten alive when–”

“I won’t let you turn this into a joke.” Will said firmly. It was the special tone of voice he saved for when Mike really needed to understand he was serious. Mike didn’t hear it often; he was typically pretty aware of Will’s moods. That day though, he was missing all his marks.

Mike didn’t want to engage with the conversation and in turn, refused to engage with Will or any of his sudden fear. He wasn’t trying to be a bad boyfriend, he was just trying not to remember being such a sad child.

“It’s not a big deal, Will. Really. It was a blur of panic– I thought they were going to kill Dustin.” Mike explained earnestly. “I didn’t know what else to do. I was so fucking worried about everyone. For someone to give me some kind of direction on how to stop the bullshit around me was a no-brainer. I’d follow it, end of story.”

“You’d let Troy walk you off a cliff?” Lucas said, mirroring Max on the table.

“Did you all not hear the part where he was going to kill Dustin? Because, I mean, I will never get that feeling off my chest for the rest of my young adult life. Thank you very much.” Mike quipped, tilting his head back to look more directly at Will. His hands still stayed in Mike’s hair. “It wasn’t anything you’re thinking, Will. I promise.”

Well, it kind of was. But Mike didn’t really consider that until years later when high school got heavy and dark and he realized it was all familiar. He hadn’t meant it like that at the time. He had never thought anything would actually come from it; he’d jump but like, he’d be fine. He didn’t even consider the aftermath of jumping…

Okay. So maybe, in that last moment he did think of it. The aftermath just didn’t scare him.

“We’ll… We’ll talk about it later, okay?” Mike said, letting his head rest against Will’s side. “You’re ruining Dustin’s flow. He loves telling this part.”

“Okay. Sorry, Dustin. You were saying.” Will waved him on with a reluctant smile. He moved Mike’s plate back on the table and sat across his lap, hands going back to his hair.

—

After everyone had gone home, Will offered to take them for a drive. Mike was lounging on Will’s bed, one of his strange art picture books open on his lap. He knew the conversation was coming. It wasn’t going to be a drive with the intention of parking. No,it was constant motion to stop either of them from avoiding the issue.

Mike didn’t even bother putting on shoes as he walked out to Will’s car, taking one of Will’s sweatshirts to fight off the damp air of Hawkins’ June evenings. Will waited until they were at least on the main road before asking Mike anything.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Will muttered. His shoulders fell and his grip loosened on the wheel. “I mean, Michael, that’s big. That’s scary. That’s–”

“Not something I like to talk about.” Mike said shortly. “You don’t get to be mad at me, William.”

“I’m not mad! I’m… I’m not mad, Michael. I’m not.” Will reached over and grabbed Mike’s hand, unable to look at him. “I just don’t know why you kept this from me. From any of us. I’m just worried you’re not okay. You… You jumped, Mike.”

“I know! I know I did.” Mike twisted Will’s fingers gently between his own. Never before had he thought about that dark afternoon while so close to Will. It was strange, considering Will was the last thought he had before stepping off. “I figured, you know, if they found me it’d just be connected to what happened to you. It could all go away. They’d make up a story and it’d be over.”

The engine hummed in the silence, somehow sounding quieter just to leave Mike more vulnerable. He knew he had to speak again. Will had no place following such an announcement.

“Look, I didn’t really think anything was going to happen. Like, I could figure it out, but it wasn’t something I really understood until later. I was just really confused and scared, Will. I was for a long time.”

“Does your sister know?” Will asked, finally looking between the road and Mike quickly. “Mike, does your sister know?”

“Yeah.” He sighed, crossing his ankles stiffly. “And we talked about it. She’s fine.”

Except that she wasn’t. Mike remembered the conversation well. It was the same Christmas after Will was found alive. Mike had watched the color leave her face as she rushed across the kitchen to him. He was just in the archway, speaking as if the words were weightless, only to have them– and Nancy– come crashing into him.

She nearly crushed Mike as she held him to her, telling Mike that he was so so stupid sometimes but that she loved him to the ends of the earth and all the way back. Mike didn’t know anyone cared that much. He didn’t think anyone would have noticed. He felt alone on that cliff and thought he would be that way when he floated back to land again too.

“I’m really glad you’re okay, Mike.” Will couldn’t hear Mike’s memories– it would have been so much easier if he could. He was speaking just from his own heart. “I’m glad you’re okay.” He squeezed Mike’s hand.

Mike’s hands had gone numb; he hadn’t even realized Will was still holding his.

“Me too.” He nodded, swallowing an argument. “I’m okay.”

“Promise you’ll talk to me next time– any time, actually. I know it’s not my place to pry but… I can’t learn about this years later, Michael. I can’t. And you can’t keep that secret buried that long.” Will said firmly. “I love you, Michael. And that means that I love the really difficult stuff too. So let me know the hard things so I can make sure that I… so that I can love you correctly.” Will wasn’t crying, but Mike could tell when he wanted to be.

Mike grabbed Will’s forearm tightly, trying to hold as much of his as he could. Will’s eyes fought to stay on the road as Mike clambered to kneel in his seat. He leaned over and grabbed Will’s face, but kept it still and angled toward the road– he wasn’t trying to crash the car.

“I love you– I love you so muc– I love you, Will.” Mike kissed Will’s cheek, temple, and hair in every which way and order he could figure. “… I love you.”

“I’m always here to listen, Mike. Even for that kind of thing. I don’t care what’s going on with me.”

“You were nearly dea–”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m here.” Will turned away from the road, kissing Mike shortly. “Always.”

“Thank you. For listening.” Mike hadn’t said anything, but it was still a comfort; Will always was. Mike rested his head on Will’s shoulder and gripped his arm tightly.

Whatever happened on that cliff was still buried– Mike wasn’t ready to push all those years of laughter and jokes about it aside and face it head on. It terrified him more to know that it was only a shallow grave, but at least when it was uncovered, by him or anyone else, Mike wouldn’t have to stand in the hole alone. He’d have someone there to reach up and grab him, tug him out– maybe even make him stay in there until he figured out how to scale out himself.

Will had survived and so had Mike. They both barely knew how, but maybe that was the whole point. Uncertainty kept them honest: kept Will talking about things he remembered about the years he’d forcibly forgotten– or been made to forget; kept them living moments they thought weren’t meant for boys like them; kept Mike thankful to have friends that spoke “I love you” like a nickname; and was maybe meant to keep Mike from denying the shortest and darkest moment of his life that would’ve made his entire boyhood very short and very dark.

Will had survived– came back from the dead, actually. Maybe it was about time Mike did too.

[sordidbask]

LIFE IS STRANGE COMIC RANT

So... I have officially finished reading the Life is Strange comics up to Issue #12 and I have some things to say.

SPOILERS i guess...

For starters, I have to wonder... what did the writers even hope to accomplish by making these? Did they want to show a continuation of the bae over bay ending featuring Max and Chloe dealing with the aftermath of that fateful week? Did they want to provide some form of closure for Pricefield supporters who were left wanting after an open-ended finale? It sure seemed that way from how the comics were marketed. And yet, I'm sitting here writing this feeling outraged at how this story, even if non-canon, was handled. I feel disgusted by how they handled Max's personality and motivations, how pathetic she feels and how downright painful it is to read some of her thoughts. Every issue I found myself frowning and repeating in my mind that "Max would never do that", "There's no way Max would say that", "Chloe would never be ok with that". Are we supposed to accept that Max would just abandon Chloe because reality is messing up for some reason and suddenly we learn that the Max from the comics is not the actual Max we played as in the game but rather a Max that doesn't belong in that reality and has to go to a timeline in which she is the third wheel to a love triangle between Chloe and Rachel so that the Chloe from the destroyed bay timeline can stay behind and look for her own Max or the Max that actually belongs in that timeline? Are there two Maxes in the same universe at the same time and Chloe has to look for her on her own for years and this other Max just kisses her goodbye forever? Max, who did everything she did during that week for Chloe, who went through hell and back to keep Chloe at her side, who sacrificed and entire town and let her friends die all for her love of Chloe would just leave her behind, teleport to a new universe and accept that Chloe is already taken in this new reality and would stop loving her romantically? If you love me let me go bullshit? Really? We played as Max, we rooted for her and we wanted her and Chloe to be together but to see her submissively accepting a reality in which she is friendzoned by Chloe because Chloe is happy there and she can't go back because the plot doesn't let her or she doesn't want to because apparently she is perfectly fine with being friendzoned for years by the woman she loves all in the name of "... but she is happy"????? When Max dreams of "her Chloe" telling her that she shouldn't forget her guilt for what happened in Arcadia Bay and should always remember it because it somehow makes her a good person, are we supposed to accept that too? Is that the message? She isn't allowed to let go? She isn't allowed to move on? Her being in this reality is some kind on punishment by the universe that she must endure? Max even convinces herself that it's bad and selfish that she wants to go back to the only reality she has ever known because... the universe doesn't want her to and will keep sending her into these flickers? Issue #12 is all about bulding up the tension towards this great climax where Max will access the Transect or whatthefuckever and be reunited with "her" Chloe, the Chloe we know, after two years of fucking around and when she finally finds her timeline... nope, anti-climax, she can't access it, she can't go back to her, she is stuck here so might as well go on a road trip and watch how happy the person she loves is with some other chick who she has to accept as her BFF. It's all so insulting and stupid.

I'm not really sure why I'm ranting about this since it feels like a lot like needlessly and senselessly ripping into somebody else's AU fic which might be their own interpretation of things and that's perfectly fine, but the thing is this is an officially licensed product sold for money and marketed primarily at people who chose the bae over bay ending and I went into the comics thinking that. I read somewhere that the story was meant to be wrapped up in Issue #4 but because of the overwhelming success and some outside intervention, they decided to prolong the story. And now we have Amberpricefield for everyone and zero closure and love for Pricefield supporters. Yay.

This is strictly personal but I hate Amberprice to no end. I believe Rachel is a well-crafted character and I respect her as such, I just hate who she is, her personality, her behaviour, her manipulation of everyone around her. And with this in mind, seeing Amberprice so vividly when I myself am a die-hard Pricefielder was more than a little jarring. I get that this is a new reality where everyone is happy and Rachel never cheated on Chloe and genuinely reciprocates her feelings. Thing is, we were never exposed to that, we were never shown how such a perfect relationship could be built between these characters and as such I can't see a reason to root for it. What little Amberprice we got was in the form of a semi-canon prequel game and even there it was left ambiguous as to whether Rachel returned Chloe's feelings or not. What we do know for certain is that Rachel manipulated Chloe to get out of Arcadia Bay, encouraged the more self-destructive aspects of her personality and, if you want to go the romance route, she canonically cheated on her twice. That's why I had trouble seeing so much Amberprice and Max not only being a witness to the whole thing but accepting it with her head down.

I hate shitting on people's work but ultimately I feel insulted by how the writers handled the story and these characters that are so dear to my heart. I don't mind Amberprice or Amberpricefield stories on AO3 or fanfiction.net which rewrite the character of Rachel to make her less of an asshole because I ignore them and, in the end, people can write about whateverthefuck they want. But the fact that they baited us and promised us a Pricefield story and what we got instead was an idyllic Amberprice with a friendzoned Max... I cannot see it as anything other than an insult.

And the last straw came in the form of that unspeakable road trip idea and the caption "Partners in time" used for Max, Chloe and the other one. I used to think that Amberprice was insulting but now I realize that Amberpricefield is even more insulting. Why the hell did we play 10 hours of a game which, at its core, was essentially about the relationship between these two characters called MAX AND CHLOE? Why the need to shove Rachel Amber wherever possible and, to add insult to injury, take a phrase so iconic, so powerful and so personal which belongs only to Max and Chloe such as "Partners in Time" and use it to refer to the three of them? Are we supposed to be OK with that? We fell in love with how much these two characters loved each other and to add a third participant feels incredibly out of place. Feels like the writers of the comic actively hate Max and Pricefielders who chose the bae over bay ending and think that what the fandom needs is to have the trio of the most important characters in Season 1 as BFF's as if we're still waiting for the release of Chaos Theory. Are these the new powerpuff girls, Titan Comics? Give me a break.

I'm going to keep reading, not buying, the comics just to see what else they can do with this clusterfuck of a story and how much more they can shit on Max, Chloe and Pricefield supporters. Honestly, I hope we see more love for Pricefield in future issues (judging from her Christmas sketch, at least the illustrator is slightly more Pricefield than the writer) but all seems to indicate that it's only going to go downhill from here.

Just needed to get this off my chest.

[repulsivepangolin7]

Fic: 31 days of whump (23/31)

And of course I needed to make a chapter regarding some of the general challenges we’re going through. And who’s the main whumpee in my universe? You guessed, it. Luca.

Word count: 2 516

 “You know, it would’ve been a lot easier if everyone just followed the quarantine rules.” Hondo sighed as Black Betty roared through the streets of downtown LA.

“So true, so true.” Deacon nodded as he strapped his helmet on.

“Evil never sleeps.” Tan shrugged as he made sure the laces of his boots were tucked in.

“Well, neither do we!” Luca grinned from behind the wheel.

“Ain’t that right!” Hondo chuckled as they turned into the block they were headed to, “Alright, you know the deal. Stay liquid!”

 SWATSWATSWAT

 It’s a heart-stopping moment when you suddenly know everything’s going to go wrong. When you know you’re screwed over. When you’re looking down the barrel of a loaded gun.

It wasn’t the first time in his career, and in a weird way he hoped it wouldn’t be the last one either. Last one sounded too, final.

“Please…” he attempted, “Don’t shoot, please.”

“Put your gun down!” the masked guy yelled.

Luca nodded and the gun tracked his movements.

He could feel his heart beating at his max limit. His mouth was dry as plaster wall, his hands were starting to get shaky.

Everything’s going to be alright, Luca… Everything’s going to be alright.

And everything was going alright.

-Until a car outside backfired, and the scared shitless masked guy who probably wasn’t used to holding weapons to people put a bit too much pressure on the trigger and fired.

At first it felt like someone hit him in the thigh with a baseball bat. And he had a couple of glorious seconds filled with that weird feeling when you know you’ve been hit hard by something, but it doesn’t hurt yet. Where everything is just stupidly numb.

He slammed to the floor, it was like his right leg just disappeared from below him.

“SHIT!” Luca almost barked a laugh when he heard the masked guy freak out, “Shit man! SHIT! I didn’t mean to!”

Then his brain started interpreting the signals his leg was sending him correctly, and lord it hurt. The pain was almost paralyzing.

Then his brain started decoding the severity of it all.

“F***!” he muttered to himself before pressing down on the radio button, “Officer down. GSW, right thigh. Making a tourniquet.”

Then he loosened his belt, and prepared to wrap that around high up on his thigh.

The masked kid was still freaking out five yards away. He had laid his gun down on the counter.

Luca looked down at the wound after he had tightened the makeshift tourniquet as much as he possibly could. It still bled too much.

He muttered another word of profanity.

“Kid! Hey kid!” it was a last ditch effort, he knew, but the others had gone upstairs because that was the information they had gotten. Fifth floor, two shooters. “Kid, I need help!”

The masked kid froze.

“Kid, can you find anything I can use as either a tourniquet or to press down on this wound?”

The kid looked at him. “What?”

“You know any first aid?”

The kid’s mouth fell open under the mask, then he nodded. “A little.”

“I need to put pressure on this.” Luca winced, “And-or something that works better as a tourniquet than my belt. Can you find that?”

The kid nodded and picked up his gun again, which Luca first took to be a very bad sign, before he saw the kid unhooking the strap from the assault rifle and placing the gun back where he had placed it earlier.

Then he jogged over to somewhere Luca couldn’t see, before he came back a few seconds later with a rolled up piece of fabric.

“I’m so sorry! I never meant to!” the kid apologized as he handed Luca the stuff, “I didn’t mean to shoot you!”

“Then why were you pointing a freaking gun at me?” Luca growled back, the pain setting him a bit more on edge than he liked.

“I’m sorry, I’m stupid.”

“Forget it, just help me with this…” Luca grimaced, pointing at his leg.

Rapid footsteps hurried down the stairs, Luca knew the team well enough to know that it was Hondo and Deacon.

“Luca, how bad is it?” Deacon asked.

Luca killed off a groan, before he called out for his two teammates, “Don’t shoot, we’re good here!”

Then he looked at the wound on his leg, it was still bleeding steadily. “Harder.”

The kid pressed down harder on the wound, causing Luca to collapse backwards with a long growl.

Deacon and Hondo ran over, taking in the scene.

“That’s not enough pressure.” Hondo noted, kneeling down beside the kid, who now had lifted his mask from his face. “Let me, alright?”

The kid nodded, but held pressure until Hondo was ready to take over.

Deacon secured the kid in handcuffs. Then he attempted finding better suited materials for a proper tourniquet.

 SWATSWATSWAT

 The next couple of days were a blur of pain, low hemoglobin, pain and his mind playing PTSD-like tricks on him. Oh, and pain.

The x-rays had showed that the bullet had broken his femur a bit above his knee, and as a result of his leg collapsing in a weird way, he had managed to break his tibia as well. And along with that, a lot of soft tissue damage followed.

Thanks to the way the world was going to hell in a hurry, this wasn’t like any other of his previous hospital stays.

For one, he hadn’t had any visitors. They weren’t allowed in. Which he took as a good sign, right now visitors would probably mean that he was on the fast track to leaving in a body bag.

The other main thing was that his pain was nowhere near managed. He was basically getting Tylenol for a gunshot wound.

He had gotten a couple of bags worth of fullblood and some saline or whatever drips to keep the effects of blood loss down.

And the nurses tried their best to keep up with whatever shitshow was going on outside of his room, and avoid infecting other patients. That kind of setup limited the number of different nurses who came in to him during a shift. Usually it was just one per shift, with another one stepping in if the main nurse was called to one of the isolation rooms for something urgent.

He had already been the assistant in one of his own dressing changes. Which had not been his favorite part of the day. Luckily lifting by the metal rod going between the four sets of pins was a practical way to move his leg without too much pain or hassle. It hurt less holding the bar than his actual leg. That being said, with the minimum amount of pain killers he was on due to the now national shortage, it hurt more than it should anyway.

 SWATSWATSWAT

 Luckily the internet still worked, and for the moment that would have to be his social lifeline to the rest of the world.

He was just about finished with his lunch when his phone started buzzing.

He picked it up and looked at it, seeing an incoming FaceTime call from Tuana.

He accepted the call with a grin.

“Hey there…” Tuana and Kelly grinned in unison.

“Hey girls!” he grinned back, “How’s quarantine life going?”

“It’s BORING!” Kelly frowned, “I can’t hang outside with my friends.”

Luca chuckled, “Well, this won’t last forever. Everyone just has to do their part until it passes.”

Kelly sighed, but nodded. “How are you doing Luca?”

He shrugged, he didn’t feel like admitting how bad it actually felt to her. He didn’t want this kid to see his weak side. “I’m holding up. It’s pretty boring here as well…”

“I wish we could come visit you…” she pouted.

“That would have been nice, but rules are rules…” he sighed, “I can barely wait for my leg to be good enough to get out of here and see you again.”

Kelly and Tuana nodded.

“Hey, Kelly… Could you give me and Luca some time alone?”

Kelly shrugged, “Oh, I could probably finish reading my book today!”

“That’s a GREAT idea!” Luca grinned, happy that Kelly had started finding joy in reading, “Talk to you later!”

“Yeah, later!” Kelly waved before she vanished from the screen.

Tuana followed her with her eyes, before she looked back at the screen, “Alright, she’s in her room.”

“Man, I miss you…” he sighed, “Both of you.”

“We miss you too…” Tuana replied.

“So, how’s self quarantine going?”

“Well, I’m bored as well. But…” she shrugged, “I think that’s mostly because I miss you.”

His chest felt warmer hearing that.

“So, how’s the hospital? How’s your leg?”

“Leg… My leg feels like it’s been shot.” Luca rolled his eyes, “It hurts.”

Tuana shot him an empathetic look.

“The hospital feels different. A bit middle-apocalyptic…”

She couldn’t help but chuckle.

“But are you good?” she asked, “Except the injured leg?”

“Yeah.” Luca nodded, “Except for the leg, I’m all good.”

“Can you show it to me?”

“The leg?”

Tuana nodded, “My mind kept providing me with all these worst case images ever since I heard you got shot.”

Luca nodded.

“I just need to see it so that my head doesn’t play it up worse than it is.”

Luca nodded, “I get it.”

“So, can you show me?”

“I can.” he nodded, “I’ve got some metal pins poking out of my leg and a bar or two linking them. And of course there’s bandage in between.”

She nodded.

“Just want you to be prepared, alright? And it’s pretty bruised. -And the bandage is partially soaked through.”

Tuana nodded.

“Alright, switching camera now.”

Tuana nodded, and Luca hit the icon to use the camera behind the phone instead of the front facing one.

“Ouch.” was all she said at first.

“Yeah, it… It looks how it looks.”

“Does they know if you’ll be back to normal?”

Luca shook his head a bit, but remembered that the camera was facing the wrong way. “No, they don’t.”

“What do they know?”

“That I won’t be putting weight on that leg for at least three months, or longer.” Luca switched the camera setting back, “And there’s no way of telling if I’ll be able to get back to work this time around, but they expect that if I make it… It’ll be at least a year before that happens.”

“And how long before you’re out of the hospital?”

“Not until my leg has stopped bleeding.” Luca sighed, “Might be anywhere from a few more days to a few more weeks.”

“You’re coming home to us then?” obvious hope in her eyes.

“Yeah, as long as you’ll have me.” Luca smirked.

“Always.” Tuana nodded.

 SWATSWATSWAT

 It took two and a half weeks before he was released from the hospital, with Tylenol and crutches.

He could barely move, barely manage to stand up with help of his crutches. But seeing Tuana come to pick him up outside the hospital made his will bigger than anything.

Tuana was standing outside the hospital when the nurse who had been looking after him that day rolled him down to the lobby in a wheelchair to make things easier for him.

“Well, look at you, handsome!” Tuana grinned as Luca and the nurse came outside the main entrance.

“Hey!” Luca beamed back, “You won’t believe how good it is to finally see you again!”

“I think I have an idea…” Tuana chuckled, “I’ve missed you too, you know.”

Luca grinned. Then he looked at his truck, which Tuana was picking him up in. His expression fell a little.

“Err, I might need some help.” He paused, pointing at the truck, “I don’t think it’ll be easy to get into the passenger seat.”

“Well, I figured your truck would be easier than my tiny car…” Tuana shrugged.

“Oh, you’re definitely right about that.” Luca nodded, “But… My leg…”

Tuana nodded, she knew what he was trying to say. It was painful. Every fractional movement hurt, didn’t matter if it was planned or unplanned. She had learned that through their daily FaceTime calls.

 SWATSWATSWAT

 They made it home to the apartment complex Tuana lived in, and up to the right floor. Luca was beading with sweat by the time she was about to unlock the door.

“Are you feeling alright?”

“A little lightheaded.” Luca answered honestly, “And that right there is the longest walk I’ve had in more than two weeks.”

“So, sit down?”

“Yeah. I need to sit down.” Luca swallowed, concentrating hard on keeping his balance.

“Can you make it inside to the couch?”

“Think so.”

“Try not to pass out on me, alright?”

“Yes Ma’am.” Luca nodded, keeping a death grip on his crutches.

She unlocked, and he made it in safely.

He hopped directly over to the couch, and started lowering himself onto the couch. Then he lifted his leg onto the couch with a grimace.

“Pillows? Do you need more pillows?”

“Nah. I’m good.” Luca grit out, looking nowhere near the vicinity of okay even.

“I’m finding more pillows.” She declared, “And a glass of water.”

“Thanks.”

As Tuana looked for pillows and a glass of water, the door to Kelly’s room clicked open, and she practically ran out to the living room. “Luca!”

He managed a brave smile, “Hey kiddo!”

She skidded to a stop a few feet away from the couch, her mouth agape. “Your leg…”

Luca nodded, “It looks… It doesn’t look good, does it?”

Kelly shook her head.

“It’s going to be alright.” He promised.

“Promise?”

“It’s going to take time, but my leg is going to get better.” Luca shrugged, “And I’ll be more fun again. I’m not very fun right now.”

Kelly looked between Luca’s face and his leg. “Why don’t you have a cast?”

“Because the doctors thought fixing my leg like this would be the best option.” Luca shrugged as he contemplated moving his leg a little. Those pillows Tuana was looking for would be very welcomed after all.

Kelly was silent for a few seconds extra, then she took a deep breath. “Can I give you a hug? We’re not supposed to hug now, because the virus, but… I want to give you a hug.”

Luca smiled, “Sure. A careful hug, alright?”

Kelly nodded and stepped over to hug him.

“Hey, I want to get in on that one…” Tuana chuckled as she came back in the living room.

Luca grinned, “It’s been way too long since we had a proper group hug, right?”

“Yeah.” Kelly nodded on his shoulder and he held out an arm for Tuana to join.

“I missed the two of you a lot.”

“We missed you too.” Kelly said, squeezing a bit harder, “Promise you won’t get shot again.”

“I’ll do my very best.” Luca nodded, “Alright?”

Kelly shrugged a bit, “I guess.”

Okay, remember, this was written early on in this pandemic, and we had no clue how it was going to end up being (not on a national basis for my home country, or internationally). At the hospital I was a student at, we had some shortages early on. I no longer remember exactly what it was we were running short on because it got straightened out pretty quickly, but it was some kind of antibiotic. And we didn’t know how the supply for all the meds were going to work if things went real caca, so my brain made up a scenario which might have turned out realistic, but it didn’t end up that way over here at least.  And nationwide there was a shortage of paracetamol and ibuprofen because people bought it like they were getting ready for the apocalypse, and they planned on having a constant headache. Kinda like T.P.

[itsclydebitches]

It Chapter Two: Aged-Up Protagonists and the Umbridge Effect

Writing reviews, metas, and the like is a lot about timing. If you don’t craft your writing in the immediate aftermath of your source’s release, someone else will beat you to it and, chances are, your audience will be less enthused about reading the same arguments weeks later. (Admittedly, that’s up for debate. I for one am happy to read about the same shit for years on end.) Thus, when I didn’t have the time or the mental energy to write about It: Chapter Two immediately after seeing it in theaters, I knew within a few days that I’d lost a lot of ground. Fans and critics alike have already spoken about the film’s major draws, namely the update on Richie’s sexuality and the canonizing of a beloved, thirty-year-old ship. We’ve also covered the issues that arose out of those positives. In 2019, is it necessary to show a hate crime in such violent detail? By giving us queer characters, have Muschietti and King unintentionally fallen into the trap of treating them badly? One is dead and the other mourns while the straight couple passionately kiss beneath the lake. Faithful adaptation vs. modern activism is a tricky balance to strike. I could rehash all those arguments here, but why bother? They’ve been articulated better by others already. Besides, falling behind means that I now have the space to discuss something just as important to me.

The Losers’ ages.

Now, I’m not sure if you all have noticed, but fantasy adventures aren’t really geared towards adults. That is to say, stories often contain adult content, but that’s not the same thing as putting adults at the center of the narrative. I’ve experienced a niggling sense of displeasure that’s grown stronger with each passing year and it took until my mid-twenties to figure out what it was: I am no longer the hero of many of my favorite stories. Because I’ve grown up. Harry Potter is concerned primarily with the trials and tribulations of characters between the ages of eleven and eighteen. If we return to that world---such as through a certain cursed play---the focus must shift to the new, shiny generation. Anyone who falls through a wardrobe is bound to be a child and if they dare grow up? They’re no longer allowed access to such a fantastic place. Kids are the ones who find the Hundred Acre Woods, or fall down rabbit holes, get daemons, battle Other Mothers when the world gets flipped, or head off onto all sorts of elementary and high school adventures. Sometimes, even those who are adults mistakenly get caught up in this trend. Frodo might be in his fifties, but as a small, kindly hobbit he comes across as younger than the rest of the Fellowship. Since the release of Jackson’s trilogy I’ve corrected more than one new fan who assumed (somewhat logically) that he is in his early twenties, max. It’s an easy mistake to make when we’ve grown accustomed to children and young adults taking center stage in so many fantastic, high-profile adventures.

Of course, there are plenty of counters to this feeling. Just look at Game of Thrones. Though we see much of the story through younger perspectives---such as the Stark siblings---the vast majority of the cast is made up of adults, playing just as pivotal a role as the up-and-comers. Fantasy, Science Fiction, and other speculative story-lines are by no means solely in the hands of minors, yet I think it’s also worth acknowledging that a good majority of those stories do shape our media landscape. Or, if they’re not strictly minors, they’re characters who embody a sort of static young adulthood, the Winchesters and the Shadowhunters and all the television superheroes who might gesture towards markers of adulthood---we have long term relationships, hold down jobs, can impersonate FBI agents without anyone batting an eye---yet are still able to maintain a nebulous form of youth. They all (try to) look and act as if they’re right out of college. The standards of film and television demand that actors appear twenty-years-old even when they’re pushing forty, and the standards of much literature insists that twenty is simply too old for an adventure, period. I can still clearly recall two moments of shock (later agreed upon by my friends) when I encountered unexpectedly older protagonists in genre fiction: the realization that Sophie actually spends the majority of Howl’s Moving Castle as a very old woman and that The Magicians takes place in graduate school. “Wow,” I remember thinking. “When’s the last time that happened?”

What does all this have to do with It: Chapter Two? I don’t have any big twist for you here. It was just really refreshing to see such a fantastical story where our cast is all forty or older. Seriously, can we take a moment to appreciate exactly how much King undermined expectations there? The first half of the novel is structured precisely how we assume it ‘should’ be. There’s a mysterious threat, there are children caught up in the middle of it, and ultimately only they are capable of saving the day. We know this story. We even have the characterization of the town itself to reinforce this structure, a place so warped by evil that only the very young with their open-mindedness and imagination are capable of seeing Derry for what it truly is, illustrated beautifully in the film by Mr. Marsh straight up not noticing a whole room full of blood.

Though they’re It’s prey, children are also the only ones who have any potential power over him. You have to be able to acknowledge a problem in order to fix it and King could have easily ended his story at the first chapter alone, with the group somehow managing to defeat Pennywise for good the first time they set foot in the sewers. A part of me is still shocked he didn’t, if only because the young savior as an archetype was embedded within Western culture far earlier than It’s 1986 publication. From Carrie to The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon, Pet Sematary to Firestarter, King is no stranger to putting children at the center of fantastic tales. Yet he’s also given us numerous adult protagonists, managing to find an enjoyable balance between the two, both within individual novels and his entire corpus. It represents that balance, not just imagining a story where seven (yes, I’m counting Stan) middle-age adults manage to finally save their town, but actually setting up a twenty-seven year jump to allow for that. It's the best of both worlds, exploring the difficulties inherent in both childhood and adulthood, arguing that we need each---that imagination and that experience---if we hope to come out alive.

While watching It: Chapter Two I took note of how many people laughed throughout the film, and not just at the moments set up to be funny (looking at you, Richie). Rather, the film that two years ago had scared the pants off of movie-goers now entertained them in a much more relaxed manner. No one was hiding behind their popcorn; there were no shrieks of fright. I’ve seen more than one reviewer express displeasure at this change. What the hell happened? Isn’t an It film supposed to be scary? Well, yes and no. I think what a lot of people miss is how providing us with an adult cast inherently changes the way fear manifests, both literally in the case of Pennywise’s illusions and thematically in regards to the film itself. This sloppy bitch, as established, preys on children. His tricks have the illogical, fantastical veneer that reflect how children see the world: you’re scared of women with horrifically elongated faces, zombie-like lepers, and hungry mummies. They’re literal monsters emerging out from under the bed. Of course, as adults watching the story we’re easily able to see how these monsters represent much deeper, intangible fears: growing up and disappointing your father, falling ill like your mother always claims you will (to say nothing of contracting AIDS in connection with a budding queer identity), and the danger that comes with being alone and ostracized. Sometimes It: Chapter One gestures more firmly towards those underlying fears---such as the burnt hands reaching for Mike when we know his family died in a fire---but only once does it make the real horror overt, when Pennywise takes Mr. Marsh’s face and asks Bev if she's still his little girl.

Outside of pedophilia and sexual abuse, Chapter One’s real horror is mostly coded, symbolic, left up to (admittedly rather obvious at times) interpretation. It’s just under the surface and we’re meant to be distracted by the fact that, allegorical or not, there’s still a very creepy thing hunting our protagonists from the shadows. For two hours we take on a child’s perspective, biting our nails at all the things we once imagined hid inside our closets. We’re scared because they’re scared.

That mindset irrevocably changes once your group grows up. Forty-year-olds simply don’t freak out in the same way a bunch of thirteen-year-olds would, especially now that they know precisely what’s happening and have the mental fortitude to combat it. At least to an extent. Chapter Two isn’t as traditionally scary for the simple reason that the film now acknowledges what all adults eventually must: there’s nothing in the closet, there’s nothing hiding under your bed. Or if there is, it’s something tangible that can be handled with a calm(ish) demeanor and a well-placed ax. An adult might scream when something jumps out at them, but they’re not as inclined to cower. Adults might still be scared, but they’re better able to push that fear aside in order to take action. The group first reached that point in the sewers--- “Welcome to the Losers’ club, asshole!”---and now fully embodies that mindset with nearly three decades of growth and experience to draw on. This is why Ben investigating the library as a teen reads as teeth-chatteringly scary, but Ben and Bill as adults investigating the skateboard produces only a comment about how they're getting used to this nonsense. They know, and we as the audience know, what the real threat is and whether or not we need to shield our eyes when something starts clunking its way down the stairs.

All of which isn’t to say that Chapter Two isn’t scary. It’s simply scary in a much more realistic manner, killer clowns and Native American rituals aside. The fears have been aged-up along with the cast, stripping away the child-like fantasies that made us wet our pants in Chapter One. What’s the scariest moment outside of the jump scares? When two men and a kid beat a gay man and then chuck him in the river to drown. You’ll note that, unlike in the first film, Pennywise doesn’t actually have to do much work here. Seasoning people up with fear? The rest of the world is doing that for him. That first scene detailing a truly horrific hate crime (which, by the way, is based off of true events) results in a meal delivered straight to Pennywise’s arms. It’s people who targeted that couple, beat one of them within an inch of his life, and then tossed him over a bridge, bleeding and shrieking for help. All Pennywise had to do was scoop him from the water and take that first bite. He’s incidental to the film’s most cringe-worthy scene. We can argue all we want about how it’s Pennywise’s influence that “makes” the town this way, but any queer viewer knows that's simply not the case. In 2019 we're still living this horror, no Pennywise required.

Likewise, the two children we see murdered are much more overtly grappling with fears that have nothing to do with fantastical monsters. Dean, the little boy Bill tries to save in lieu of Georgie, is rightly petrified because a seemingly crazy adult is now stalking him. We as the audience know that Bill is just trying to help----that he’s not the real danger here----but that’s not the perspective this kid has, nor is it the issue the film is grappling with. We first see him approaching an idol of his, Richie, and instead of an enjoyable experience he winds up getting yelled at. The It films are only tangentially interested in the status of fans and their relationship with celebrities, but we know it’s a common theme for King’s work overall. Look at Misery and look at this cameo: a disenchanted fan of the 21st century, criticizing a writer’s novel and leveraging him for money. “You can afford it,” he tells Bill, swindling him simply because he can. The context of this little boy as a fan and Richie as the older, bigger, larger-than-life comedian adds another layer to the interaction. It’s not just an adult verbally attacking a child, it’s an adult this kid worshiped enough to recognize and quote his material from memory. Who easily walks away from that?

This little boy then finds Bill shrieking at a sewer opening, is manhandled by him, and told in the scariest way possible, born of Bill’s own fear, that he has to get out of dodge, fast. There are scary things out there, Dean freely admits that he’s heard kids’ voices coming from the tub drain, but right now the scariest thing is how badly the adults in his life are failing him: parents (from what little we can gather) are distant, his comedic idol is mean, and now this stranger is traumatizing him in the middle of the street. Once again, it’s easy to see how Pennywise isn’t needed to sow fear or even enact cruelty; he’s not a requirement for horrible things in the world, he’s merely their reflection. We see the same setup with the little girl under the bleachers. That scene demonstrates precisely how not scary Pennywise is. Here’s this child putting aside her discomfort over his looks and agreeing to be his friend. What’s worse than a clown with a creepy expression? The knowledge that all the other kids have already rejected you because of a birthmark on your face. Bullying is the far greater threat and one we’re 100% more likely to deal with in our lives than a killer clown, so the second film re-frames Pennywise to better acknowledge this. He’s scary because things like bullying and neglect exist to give him an easy in. He’s even scary because in this moment, hiding under the bleachers, manipulating this little girl, he’s fully embodying a child predator. Chapter One was a primal, “There’s a monster hiding in the shadows” kind of fear. Chapter Two is a, “We’re all going to die from climate change” kind of fear. Logical and largely inescapable. Characters like Richie don't need Pennywise to take some fantastic form to scare him. Homophobia has already done all the work.

Ultimately, I think of this as the Umbridge Effect. Who’s the most hated character in the Harry Potter franchise? I’ll give you a hint, it’s not the Dark Lord responsible for two wars, attempted genocide, and the death of our title character.

We despise Umbridge because she’s real. She’s relatable. She’s grounded in a way that Voldemort could never hope to be. We have no fear that an all-powerful sorcerer is suddenly going to come out of the woodwork and attempt to enslave and/or eradicate everyone without magic. That’s just not on our list of things to worry about. A corrupt politician, however? An instructor who uses her power to emotionally and physically torture students, getting away with it because of a cutesy, hyper-feminine persona? We’ve seen stuff like that. We’ve lived it. Umbridge represents all the real wrongs in the world when it comes to bigotry and privilege. Therefore we hate her---we fear her---in a way we could never hate or fear Voldemort. Now, in It: Chapter Two, Pennywise is the new Voldemort. Is an alien clown with an unhinged jaw and three rows of teeth technically scary? Sure, but it doesn’t hold a candle to the real problems that plague the cast: abuse, anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, the fear that someone will hurt or outright kill you over some part of your identity. These are things we continue to fear long after the credits roll and the lights come up, and they’re now barely coded in the story:

It occurred to me halfway through my viewing that the people laughing at the characters’ new plights were the same ones who didn’t flinch when a gay man’s head cracked into the pavement. I had both hands over my mouth during that scene and I wasn’t snickering whenever Eddie had a panic attack, or Ben’s self-confidence took a hit. Because those moments, like our opening, hit pretty close to home for me; I didn’t find them embarrassingly humorous in the way much of my theater did. So many reviews in the last two months have insisted that Chapter Two isn't scary, but I think that depends entirely on whether or not you're struggling with these now explicit threats. We're not dealing with mummies and creepy portraits anymore. Instead, tell me how you feel about holding your partner's hand in public. Do certain memories make you vomit? Or freeze? Consider heading upstairs to the bath? The horror is dependent on how the audience views Bill's stutter coming back, or the bruises on Bev's arms. 

The cast grew up. It’s a fantastic twist. It also means that the horror needed to grow up with them, resulting in a film that could no longer function as a simple, scary clown movie. Our ending reminds us of that. When did people laugh the loudest? When the Losers’ club was bullying Pennywise into something vulnerable. And yeah, I get it. It’s a cheesy moment that we feel the need to laugh at because it’s just so unexpected. Awkward, even. Since when are badass horror monsters defeated with a bit of backyard peer pressure straight out of middle school? If this were any other story, Pennywise would have been defeated by Eddie’s poker. The most scared member of the group finally finds his courage! He has faith that this simple object can kill monsters! He throws it in a perfect arc, splitting the deadlights in two! That’s a heroic ending. Something epic and fantastical, relying on the idea that the Good Guys will win simply because they believe in themselves... but that’s not how the real world works. That ending is a child’s fantasy. Sometimes you do the heroic thing and end up dying anyway. Which isn’t to say that the heroic thing is useless. It saves Richie’s life. It’s just that a single act can’t cure all our ills in the way that storybooks often claim they can. 

How then does an adult deal with huge, intangible problems like bigotry and mental illness---the things Pennywise now fully represents? By saying “Fuck you” to those things again and again with all the support you can possibly wrangle up at your side. You refuse to let those issues control you; you drag those child-like representations into the light and remind yourself just how small they really are. We don’t get to beat something like depression by spearing it with a fire poker in some overblown finale. If we did, we’d all be having a much better time. All you can do is band together with friends and scream that you’re not going to let your fears define you anymore. Pennywise is a symptom of all the true horrors in the world. Sadly, you can’t beat those with a baseball bat. But you can acknowledge the heart of the issue, literally in the case of five friends squeezing until that one symptom, at least, is gone.

Image Credit

#1:https://www.screengeek.net/2018/07/10/it-chapter-2-character-mashups/

#2:https://earlybirdbooks.com/the-re-read-the-lion-the-witch-and-the-wardrobe

#3:https://www.vox.com/culture/2019/7/4/19413771/stranger-things-season-3-review-recap-hopper-elevenrussians

#4:https://comicbook.com/movies/2019/08/08/harry-potter-movies-review-10-years-late-snape-dumbledore-franchise/

#5:https://www.denofgeek.com/us/tv/netflix/277257/give-the-dragon-prince-a-chance

#6:https://www.forbes.com/sites/lindamaleh/2019/04/23/she-ra-and-the-princesses-of-power-season-2-review/#ec7022c42953

#7:https://www.commonsensemedia.org/tv-reviews/avatar-the-last-airbender

#8:https://www.newsweek.com/buffy-vampire-slayer-turns-20-charisma-carpenter-shows-enduring-legacy-and-566123

#9:http://theinspirationroom.com/daily/2009/alice-in-wonderland-the-movie/

#10:https://www.hindustantimes.com/tv/game-of-thrones-this-edited-out-scene-between-bran-and-sansa-reveals-so-much-about-finale/story-qFDHflH2dO6Kcki1wgsEyM.html

#11:https://www.cinemablend.com/new/Why-Ender-Game-Best-Possible-Adaptation-Book-40110.html

#12:https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/supernatural-end-season-15-cw-1196579

#13:https://www.slashfilm.com/it-chapter-two-scene/

#14:https://www.vox.com/culture/2017/9/12/16286316/it-cleaning-up-blood-scene-feminism

#15:http://www.allocine.fr/film/fichefilm-208633/photos/detail/?cmediafile=21647122

#16:https://stanleyyuris.tumblr.com/post/188300897715/chaotic-losers

#17:https://whatculture.com/film/it-chapter-2-every-character-ranked-worst-to-best?page=3

#18:https://www.reddit.com/r/harrypotter/comments/7uhrkz/the_most_hated_character/

#19:https://9gag.com/gag/am2X2Z4?ref=pn.mw

#20:https://screenrant.com/harry-potter-hated-characters-unpopular-worst-ranked/quickview/17

GIFs1-5:https://the-pretty-poisons.tumblr.com/post/188344826978/why-is-everyone-looking-at-me-\like-this