#That's also my first ever Maria there are things I would change were I to draw her again lol

[tezzbot]

This might be a part 1 I have a bit more to share but here's a load of misc doodles from me files I hadn't posted yet ^_^

[the-monstermash]

UNBROKEN BETROTHALS pt. 4

Aemond Targaryen x Reader

Synopsis: After running away from an unwanted proposal, you find yourself working in a brothel as a cook. When a certain guest takes an odd liking to you, secrets are revealed and betrothals unbroken

Warnings: Angst, Brothels, Mature, Mentions of Sex, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Time-Appropriate Sexism, 

Word Count: 3,226

> A/N: I did a crazy amount of time jumping, and also I had to cut the last part into two more parts SO SORRY

Aemond had taken much longer than a week, and things had certainly not been peaceful in the house ever since. The girls had lost their mind upon learning that not only had you finally accepted Aemond, but you were to marry. Of course, you’d explained the past betrothal and the reason behind his insistence, and they’d swooned at the idea of a prince searching for his long lost love, to which you reminded them you had never met when this first proposal happened.

That didn’t deter them one bit, and when he sent word of when he’d come to get you, they’d passed the letter around to read it and gushed.

According to witnesses, Sylvi broke a goblet upon hearing the news, and locked herself in her room to avoid others ever since. She was not the type to cause a scene, but she would not play nice to keep the peace, either.

When that day finally did arrive, the girls had  insisted on trying to  make you look presentable. Brushing the knots from your hair, applying a light rouge and smelling oils. They’d each given you something of theirs. Necklaces, trinkets, things to remember them by.

“As if I could ever forget you girls.” You’d said when Maria insisted on you having her favorite hair pin. “Thank you so much.” She pulled you into a deep hug, squeezing as if to commit the feel to memory.

“You know you’ll never see us again, when you marry?” Zora’s flat voice made the girls shoot her annoyed looks. “It won’t do for a princess to visit a whorehouse, and we can’t exactly go to the castle at leisure.”

“My situation is unlike other Ladies, I’m sure they would make an exception for me. I’ll come back, even if I have to sneak away.” They smiled, but they didn’t reach their eyes. There was something very final about this goodbye, even with the promises made.

“Sylvi made sure to be busy today, didn’t she?” Maria joked with a dry chuckle, likely an attempt to change the subject. “She’s probably in some back alley, crying herself to death.”

“Have compassion, she’s losing her two favorite people in one day.” Lauryn’s sarcastic jab at you made you sigh and look away.

“I’m sure I won’t be missed in that regard. Besides, it’s probably for the best that we leave things as they were. Before all this.” You gestured to your packed bags.

Sounds of hoofs on the cobblestone brought everyone’s attention outside, where a carriage was pulling up to the entrance. The girls crowded the entryway, looking on to see if someone would step out of the carriage. When only a footman appeared in front of you, you had to swallow down the disappointment you felt at Aemond not being present to take you to the castle.

“My Lady, the Prince sends his deepest apologies that he could not be here himself to retrieve you. Urgent matters have kept him at the castle, but be assured, he is there awaiting your arrival. If I could grab your things.” The girls began lugging out your trunk. You’d not accumulated much over the years, and what you had, you couldn’t use in the keep. Most of what you were bringing were gifts from the other girls.

You’d thanked the footman for loading your luggage for you, and turned to say your final goodbyes to everyone before he helped you into the carriage.

“It won’t be long, ma’am.” He’d reassured you, and you’d nodded and smiled before settling into the seat as he closed the door and set off.

The ride hadn’t been long, though it had felt like an eternity. When you stopped to let the gates open, you’d considered jumping out and making a run for it, but you knew that was just jitters.

The carriage pulled in to the gates, and made its’ final stop, the footman stepping down and opening the door to let you out.

You immediately began searching for Aemond, but to your dismay he wasn’t there, only who you’d assumed to be Dowager Queen Alicent, and Queen Helaena. You walked to greet them, bowing as well as you’d remembered.

“It’s a shame your parents couldn’t be here with you. Aemond sent for them days ago, so they should arrive within the next few days.” Alicent’s voice was stressed, as if she carried the weight of the seven kingdoms on her shoulders, and you could tell she was not happy to be the one sent to greet you. “I’ll have a maid show you to your chambers, I’m sure you’ll want to prepare yourself for dinner.” You spoke before she could turn away.

“I had hoped to see Aemond.”

“Yes, well the prince is kept very busy around here, his brother, the king, keeps him close. Especially with the war coming, as you know Aemond is invaluable in our efforts.”

Something in her words told you she meant to say you’re here to keep Aemond happy. You nodded, showing the disappointment clearly on your face.

“He’ll find you before dinner, I’m sure.” She turned to walk away, stopping to order a maid, which you followed to your chambers.

The chambers were grand, as expected, but you were not overwhelmed by them. You were more concerned with your betrothed and his presence. Or absence, moreso. You’d been left to your devices, choosing to sit on a settee and twiddle your fingers, sigh, and huff in frustration. In reality, it had only been about half an hour before your door opened, revealing the one person you had been waiting to see.

“Aemond!” You jumped up from your seat, meeting him halfway and pulling him into a tight embrace. “You did not come to retrieve me this morning. You did not even greet me.”

“My apologies, my lady wife. The King has kept me very busy, I would’ve  put off your retrieval again so I could get you myself, but I could not wait to have you here.” He kissed your scalp, inhaling the scent curiously. “You smell nice, I’ve missed it. I’ve missed you.” He pulled away to hold your hands in his before leaning in for a kiss, which you happily reciprocated.

Aemond’s hands met your waist, pulling you against him and wrapping his arms around you to hold you close to him. You wrapped your arms around his neck, hands tangling with his snowy hair, and pulling him to deepen the kiss. Your lips moved in sync with one another, a display of passion and desire so strong it could stop the world. Your tongue reached out to meet his, rough and unlike his smooth lips, and you would’ve heard him groan if not for the sound of your heart thumping in your ears.

He pulled away to catch his breath, resting his forehead against yours and panting.

“I’ve missed you, too.” You smiled up at him, pulling away to sit on the soft bed. You patted the spot beside you, and he quickly joined at your side.

“The wedding is in two weeks, I’ve made the necessary arrangements, I hope you find it to your liking.”

“I don’t care what the wedding looks like, only the groom.” His lips turned up at that. “Your mother said my parents will be here soon, I can’t wait to see them again. Will there be many other guests?”

“Likely our allied houses, but they shouldn’t arrive for at least a week’s time. I’ve tried my best to clear my schedule after the wedding, but it seems the war is coming faster than any of us had anticipated. I had even thought to steal my bride away on Vhagar, even for a short while.”

“I understand, Aemond. You’re needed here.” Your words were meant to be reassuring, but the lilt in your voice betrayed you. “I had only hoped we’d have more time to know each other, and…to make up for the lost time.”

“We’ll do plenty of making up, don’t you worry.” His sly smirk sent a shiver down your spine, both of fear and desire. “My mother had requested to have you checked to see if you were still pure, but I assured her of your innocence. She did not believe me, of course, but she had dropped the matter. I think she is just happy for me.” He leaned in to place a soft kiss on your jawline, his large hand going to the nape of your neck, to massage the tight muscle, earning a grown from you. “I like that noise.” His kisses traveled down to your collarbone, and his hands began massaging your waist.

You were nervous to explore Aemond more than you already had. To explore anyone, really. You’d never even thought about what would happen on your wedding night, because you’d never considered you’d have a wedding night. Years of rejecting any sense of affection had left you uneducated in the personal ways of lovemaking. Of course you’d heard things, and even seen things, but that was just sex. You and Aemond were meant to make love, and sire heirs. How different was that from what you’d seen in the whorehouse? Did he expect you to have much experience because of where you’d been? He knew you were a virgin, but perhaps he thought they’d taught you things.

Your thoughts were beginning to blur as you felt him begin to push you back on the bed. You pulled away from him in a panic and stood, pacing away from the bed.

“Are you alright?” He was breathless and obviously a little taken aback by your sudden retreat, combing through his hair and rubbing his lips together.

“Yes! Yes, I am fine. I just think…” You scanned your brain for some reason that wouldn’t seem like rejection, finding none. “I am afraid, Aemond.”

“Of me.” He nodded in understanding.

“No! Gods, no. Of…well, yes, of you. But, not of you, of…you know…you.” You gestured towards his groin, unable to force the words out of your mouth. It was embarrassing to have lived among whores and not even be able to say the word sex, and even more embarrassing to have to explain your situation to Aemond, of all people, who you had met in a whorehouse. His chuckle only served to further your mortification. “Well, do not laugh! I am a lady, after all. I should not know of these things, or how to speak of them.”

“I mean no offense, my lady. Only that I had not expected such bashful demeanor from you. Especially after our night in your rooms.”

“That was just kissing. And I was…swept away, in your passionate words and gestures. This would be different, it would mean…well, I could get pregnant.”

“Yes.” He nodded. “Now, or in two weeks' time, when we consummate our marriage. Either way, I’m happy to wait, lady wife. But you must not be so alluring in these coming weeks. You can hardly expect a man to resist you.” He stood from your bed, and stepped over to the settee in front of the fireplace. “Perhaps we should avoid the bed as well.”

“I was not being alluring, I was simply being myself. A woman should do that in front of her betrothed, so he knows she is a match.”

“Yourself is the most alluring thing you could be in my presence.” That struck you speechless, and you elected to just walk over to where he was sitting, too awkward to sit with him normally. “Perhaps a tour of the keep.” He sighed, standing up to guide you out of the room.

The next two days had passed rather dully, with Aemond holding you at an arm's length, and preferring to meet you in public. You’d been on walks, dined together, and made a few last minute wedding decisions for the upcoming nuptials.

You were sitting in the garden with Aemond when you heard the gates to the red keep begin opening. You could only assume it was your parents, as no other guests were set to arrive any day soon. You quickly rushed to welcome them, leaving the flowers you had been weaving on the ground along with Aemond, who rose to follow you.

Reuniting with your parents had been a dream, they had taken you into their arms and sobbed, as had you. Your mother had a few choice words about your disappearance, but understood the reasoning of a scared young girl. Besides, things had seemed to work themself out in the end.

You’d stayed with your parents all the way up until after dinner, when they both  showed signs of fatigue, at which point Aemond had elected to walk you to your chambers, taking deliberate slow steps to prolong the moment alone.

“Are you happy with your reunification?”

“Oh, Aemond, I don’t know how I could ever thank you. They’re just as I remember them, but so much more. I can tell how my leaving hurt them, and I don’t think we can ever get that time back. But now, thanks to you, they know I am well and safe. I am truly in your debt.”

“Consider it a wedding gift.” He had shrugged as you reached your doors. The guards immediately opened the door for you, and you stepped in slowly before turning back to him. “Might I come in? Just for a moment, there’s something I wanted to discuss about our wedding.”

He came in at your nod, the doors closing behind the two of you. You had began undoing your hair from the tight wound updo. Aemond had watched in silence for a while, until you reminded him of his needed discussion.

“I had been giving thought to our wedding night.” You swallowed the lump in your throat.

“What of it?”

“Will you not find it difficult to bear a bedding ceremony?”

“Are those not outdated?”

“They’re tradition. My mother has been rather insistent on it.”

“But it is not your mother’s wedding, it is your wedding. Do you want a bedding ceremony?” As my hair was finally let down, I began brushing out the knots. Aemond had hummed in response to your question, causing you to sigh. “I do not wish to be subjected to the eyes of strangers on what is supposed to be our night together. I want to be alone with you, we so rarely are anymore.”

“That is because I find it hard to be near you and not want you.” You rolled your eyes. “My mother will put up a fight over the ceremony, she wants to know that you are still a maiden. If it’s not a bedding ceremony, it could be the maesters. I do not know which one you’d find more unpleasant.”

“I will not do either, Aemond. I have lived a very difficult life off the premise of my own autonomy, and I will not turn my back to it now. Your mother will have to see reason. Or perhaps you should tell her you’ve already had me.” He looked stunned at this.

“Why would you say that?”

“If she thinks you’ve already…defiled me, there’ll be no question of my maidenhood, and no way to know if I’ve only had you, or others, so checking will be fruitless.” I set my brush down and turned towards him from my vanity chair.

“You would have me dishonor your already sullied name?” He seemed offended even at the thought, his voice shaking.

“As you said, my name is already sullied, what difference will it make? They think I’m a whore, Aemond!” I stood from my vanity and walked to stand before him. “They wish to make a mockery of me with these invasions. They don’t want to reassure themselves, they want to confirm what they already believe. I am not good enough for them, and they want a reason to reject this union.” His jaw ticked and his head shook slightly at the thought.

“I won’t let them reject it.”

“And how would you stop them?” I asked sarcastically.

“We simply do the ceremony! It is a woman’s expectation to be pure for her husband, and you are marrying a prince. It’s sound reasoning to expect this.”

“Well, perhaps that is another reason I ran away in the first place!” I turned from him, but he grabbed my arm and forced me to turn back around.

“I do not want to fight with you about this.” He sighed. “If you truly will not have it, we’ll just have to figure something else out.”

“They won’t let us marry, Aemond, I told you this. It was a fool’s dream to think you would have your way in this.”

“I’ll marry you now. Tonight. We’ll sneak to the Godswood and get married in the old way. They’ll have to recognize it, especially if we consummate.”

“You really want to fuck me, don’t you?” The joke was ill-timed, and a sad attempt to break the tension.

“I want to marry you. And I shall. Let’s go.”

“Right now?”

“They’ll not expect it. By the time anyone notices we’ve left, it’ll be too late.”

“But who will marry us? Do the old ways not call for the head of your house to consent?”

“Aegon?” He snorted. “That piss-soaked sack is probably deep in his cups tonight. It will be nothing to convince him. I’ll get him, and meet you in the Godswood. Wait a bit after I leave, and pretend as though you’re on a walk to clear your head. I’ll be there under the heart tree, waiting.”

You did as Aemond bid, sitting in the settee for a short while, finishing brushing through your hair and electing to wear it down. Finally, you decided to head towards the Godswood.

The walk there was relatively short, so you paused outside the entrance to the Godswood and took a few deep breaths.

“It is quite cold tonight for King’s Landing, no?” The voice of your mother made you turn around quickly, eyes wide and mouth agape.

“Mother! What are you doing out here?” The panic in your voice obviously raised suspicion.

“What are you doing out here? Unchaperoned, standing outside the Godswood?”

“I needed some air. Aemond and I had a fight, I needed to clear my head.” It wasn’t necessarily a lie, so saying it only made you feel half as bad.

“Is everything alright?”

“Oh, yes. His mother wants to force a bedding ceremony, but I don’t want one. Aemond says if I don’t do it, she’ll likely want a maester to confirm my maidenhood.”

“She questions your integrity?” She was obviously irked. “And what did Aemond say?” Her eyebrow quirked, and you could tell she already knew the answer, glancing into the Godswood before sighing.

“Mother…” You whispered.

“It’s not my place to tell you what you cannot do. If your Father knew…” She shook her head. “You are a woman grown now, and I can’t stop you if this is what you truly want to do.”

“It is. And I’m going to marry him anyways, this is just…a way for us to do it on our terms.”

“And will you forbid your mother from witnessing the union of her daughter?” You smiled, shaking your head and pulling her into a deep embrace.

@mamawiggers1980 @dahlias-and-marigolds @staarflowerr @aemondwhoresworld @uhnanix

[pearlessance]

Forgive Me, Father - Idle Threats [viii]

Series Summary — Joel has watch duty with Jackson’s twenty-year old, smart-mouthed brat and gets more than he bargained for.

Chapter Summary — Joel hears your confession and breaks all ten commandments in the house of the holy.

Pairing — Joel Miller/Reader

Warnings — Explicit sexual content MDNI, brat taming, age gap, mean!Joel, religious imagery and symbolism, catholic guilt, reader has added backstory to progress the plot, mention of sexual assault, murder, canon typical violence, renouncing of god, desecration of a church, blood, brief daddy kink

SERIES MASTERLIST

[cross posted to AO3]

The following days are easier than any other you’ve had since leaving Jackson. It takes two days, but Joel hears your laugh again and feels himself release a heavy weight at the sound. Once, when the two of you are switching watch shifts, you sleepily mutter his name. And he goes to you like he always will—and you whisper an almost incoherent confession of your affection. “I love you, too,” you say, and he tries not to think about the way it makes him feel like a boy your age, hearing those words for the first time. 

You move slower, and it’s not because of the extra weight strapped to your horses. Joel doesn’t say it, but he knows it’s because you’re afraid of returning to Jackson. Afraid of things going back to the way they were before this run.

In truth, Joel worries about it too. Worries about finding a new routine, worries about Maria and Tommy and Ellie, worries about what they’ll say. It won’t make him change his mind, he knows. Nothing would ever make him regret this selfish decision to keep you. But sometimes, in a too-long moment of silence, anxiety builds in his chest when he thinks of it. 

But you still have several days before you return, and Joel intends to soak up this sweet, delicate time with you while he still can.

A little over halfway back to Jackson, you stop before the sun sets and make camp in an old, abandoned church. The very same one advertised on the billboard Joel had seen on the way to Casper.

Some of the pews are turned over while others have been broken apart and likely set ablaze in the pile of ashes in the center of the floor. There are no infected, but there’s a stone statue of Mary that looms ominously in the corner, covered in dust and cracked along its painted surface.

Joel feels uncomfortable here. Feels watched, judged. His skin crawls and he thinks about pushing on until you find some other place to rest.

The altar table has been left untouched, decorated with a yellowed, satin ribbon draped along its center. The bible lying on top is flipped open to a passage Joel knows well.

Corinthians 10:13 

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that which you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

It’s bookmarked not with a scrap of paper but with a silver necklace tucked in its spine. A dainty thing with a cross dangling from the end of it. Joel picks it up, watches it sway between his calloused fingers. 

And when he turns to face you, you’re standing in the middle of the center aisle and the setting sunlight casts a shadow across your face, making you look like some angelic being sent to him by God himself. “Did you ever come to one of these before the world ended?”

Joel nods, takes the necklace in his hands and finds his way back to you. “Quite a bit when I was a kid,” he answers. “My mom was pretty religious. We went to every Sunday service and sometimes the ones on Wednesdays, too. Even sent Tommy and I to the church's after-school program for young kids.”

He holds the necklace out to show you, and a shiver runs down his spine when you trace the cross in his palm, your touch electrifying. It’s just the smallest brush of your index finger, but it makes the air get caught in his lungs. “Pretty,” you say wistfully. “Do you believe in God?”

Joel jerks his chin in a silent demand and you obey wordlessly, turning away from him. He unclasps the necklace as you hold your hair out of the way. “I did,” he answers slowly, wrapping the silver chain carefully around your throat. “And then I didn’t.”

“And now?” 

He secures it and runs his knuckles down the nape of your neck. No would be the closest thing to the truth, but it’s not quite it. Joel thinks about lying to save himself the shame but rejects the thought as soon as it comes. “I believe in you,” he says quietly.

Somehow this confession feels heavier than his declaration of love. Perhaps it’s because this is the thing he’s struggled with, this strange worship of Judas. You’ve come to him in pieces, a shell of a girl, a betrayer—and yet it’s your altar he crawls to. It’s you who holds the keys to heaven, who controls both his grace and his damnation.

Joel leans forward and presses his lips to your skin, leaving goosebumps in his wake. He can feel your breath falter, and so he does it again. This time a kiss to your shoulder, right above the collar of your sweater. 

His hands have a mind of their own as they find your waist. Joel knows this is wrong, knows how sinful it is, and yet he knows the only way to endure the taste of the forbidden fruit is to bite into it, to devour it, to consume it for as long as he’s able. He has spent so much of his life fighting, resisting, repenting—but maybe it’s time God asks for his forgiveness.

Your skin is smooth beneath his calloused palms. He slides them beneath your shirt, over your hips, up your torso. He pulls at the soft garment, and you lift your arms for him to make it easier as he pulls it off and discards it in the nearest pew.

And then his hands are on you again—this time tracing the edge of your jeans, pinky finger dipping slowly beneath the band around your waist, teasing. You’re panting now, chest rising and falling in quick succession. You say his name a little like a prayer and it brings a smile to his face. 

“Shh,” he says. “Patience is a virtue, little girl.” But he wants you, perhaps even more than you want to be touched, so his left hand finds the button of your jeans and undoes it. 

He moves slowly, and you stand completely still as Joel peels the too-tight jeans down your legs. You kick your boots off, and soon you’re standing in the middle of this crumbling church in nothing but a pair of baby pink panties and a white lace bralette, looking every bit the divine goddess he doesn’t deserve. 

When you turn to face him, there’s a playful glint in your eye. “Let me try it,” you say. “One question, though. Is it forgive me, father? Or is it forgive me, Daddy?”

Two things happen inside him at once. 

First, the crudeness of your words baffles him so completely that he laughs. Full-on laughs for the first time in twenty years. The vulgarity of it in a place of worship is somehow both amusing and horrifying. 

Second, all the blood in his head rushes south. Because the word daddy in your mouth is the most erotic thing he’s ever heard, the dirtiest thing he’s ever heard, and Joel knows right away that he will never have the strength to process why such a thing makes him so goddamn hard. Doesn’t even attempt it. 

He simply enjoys it instead. Allows it to drown him, consume him wholly. Accepts what is and what isn’t. Accepts that he is the most deplorable man that’s ever existed and it’s why he’ll never deserve you but it’s also why it’ll never matter. Because now…you belong to the most deplorable man. 

The devil and his pretty, perfect Judas.

And then you lower yourself to your knees in front of him and Joel struggles to keep his weary heart from bursting from his chest. 

His attempts at composure are blown to pieces when you press your hands together and look up at him through your lashes. With all humor bled from the moment, overtaken by a sudden hunger, you say, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned,” and something evil stirs inside him.

Something more than sinful. Something ungodly. Something blasphemous. 

That cross is draped beautifully between your breasts, cleavage elevated by the angle of your arms.

Joel reaches out with both hands and runs them through your hair affectionately. “You look so pretty on your knees,” he says. “You got somethin’ to confess?”

You nod and a smirk graces your face. “I’ve been having wicked thoughts,” you say, voice taking on an innocent and girlish tone. “And…I’ve been giving into temptation, Father.”

“S’that right?” Joel licks his lips. His cock throbs in his jeans, desperate for your touch in a way it’s never been before.

He watches, transfixed, as you take your bottom lip between your teeth, taking your hands from the position of prayer and instead running them up his strong thighs. You slide them beneath his flannel, soft hands cool against his heated skin. “I’ve been letting a man touch me.” You’re whispering, but he feels each syllable down to his bones. “An older man,” you continue, pulling at his belt. 

Joel finds you mesmerizing. Thinks you’ve ruined him. Completely, utterly decimated the man he used to be. “Touch you how?”

You don’t take your eyes off his as his belt clinks against the button of his jeans. “I’ve let him inside me, Father,” you say, pulling down his zipper at a torturous pace. “I’ve let him in my mouth, in my heart, in between my thighs.” 

He never thought it possible, but his need for you grows teeth, morphs into some vicious, ravenous thing. Joel brushes his fingers through your hair, pulling lightly at the roots. “And what do you think you should do as repentance, sweetheart?”

Joel’s reminded of a siren’s song when you answer, “I think I should show a little extra devotion. Don’t you?” You pull his cock from his jeans, and the simple touch of your hand has him nearly shaking in anticipation. You break character for only long enough to giggle softly, wipe the back of your hand over your glossy lips, and say, “My mouth is watering.”

He smooths your hair back away from your face, admiring the way you look on your knees for him, just as desperate as he is. “Go’head, baby,” he says.

You don’t waste any time. You’re slow in your pursuit; tongue tracing the vein on the underside of his cock. Savoring, worshiping, devoting yourself to him and him only. You swirl your tongue around the head, licking up drops of precum.

When you finally take him into your mouth, you don’t stop until you’ve swallowed him whole, choking on it, nose pressed to the tuft of hair below his navel. It’s the most glorious thing Joel’s ever seen in all his life. And then you moan, and he can feel the vibrations of it down to his toes. 

You pull your head back far enough, and your mouth leaves him completely, connected by nothing but strands of saliva. Your lips are already bruised and swollen, but they pull into the prettiest, proudest smile he’s ever seen, and Joel’s weak in the knees. 

“Filthy little girl,” he says affectionately, hands still running through the silky strands of your hair. “Y’like that? Hm? You like that mouth filled up, don’t you?”

“Mmhm.” There’s so much love, so much worship in your eyes that he feels his chest pull tight. You take his cock in your mouth again, tongue sliding along the underside of it, cheeks hollowed out to take him in deeper.

Joel feels your devotion with each soft lick, each swallow at the back of your throat, each ragged, choked breath. He knows he won’t last long. Your mouth is too hot, too wet, too sweet. And when you pick up the pace, bobbing your head, fingernails leaving indentations in the exposed skin of his thighs, pressure builds at the base of his spine like a fucking noose. “There you go,” he encourages. “Doin’ so fuckin’ good, baby. Shit —just like that.”

Your cheeks are flushed, and Joel’s once gentle hands pull tight in your hair, guiding your mouth down onto him. It only makes those delicious moans around his cock that much sweeter. Your thighs are clamped tightly together, and he barrels towards euphoria as he thinks about just how wet he knows you are, his dirty little girl.

“Fuck, baby—fuck. Hold on, hold on.” He pulls your head back, cock slick and glossy, covered in your spit. He’s going to finish just like this if he’s not careful. “Gonna be over too soon if you keep that up.”

“Please, Joel,” you say. “I want to taste it. It’s all I want. Let me make you feel good.”

Joel thinks Michaelangelo never would’ve sculpted David, had his existence overlapped with yours. Because in all the time of the universe, a sight has never lived as beautiful as the one of you begging on your knees before him.

What kind of man would he be if he refused? Joel wants to give you everything you could ever ask for. Wants to give you the world at whatever cost to his soul.

So, he doesn’t stop you when you wrap your bruised lips around his cock again. You feel like heaven, or as close to it as he’ll ever be allowed.

He comes at the back of your throat with a groan and trembling hands in your hair. Hands that are all too aware that they hold something holy, something divine. “ Goddamn —fuck. Mm, yeah. There you go, baby. There you go.”

His cock throbs in your mouth, and you don’t stop sucking until he’s completely spent. And when you do finally lean back and stick out your tongue, he’s nearly hard again at the obscene way his come drips down your lips, down your chin. 

Then you swallow, and Joel grins and rests his palm gently on your cheek. He uses the rough pad of his thumb to push the last few drops back into your mouth, and you suck it down greedily. “Gotta take it all, little girl. Make me proud, hm?”

And as soon as you’re satisfied, Joel’s pulling you back to your feet and pressing his mouth to yours in a ravenous kiss. He can taste remnants of himself on you, and it’s the most comforting sensation he’s ever experienced. It’s proof of your union, evidence of your devotion. A physical, tangible way to convince him he’s not alone in his sacrilege.

Joel lifts you off your feet, and your legs instinctively wrap around his waist. He carries you to the altar table, lays you down, and pushes your knees apart. Normally, he likes to take his time with you. Likes to savor the way you taste, the way you feel. But he’s so hungry for you and you only that he cannot— cannot wait another fucking second.

But then you say his name and his every intention freezes. “You don’t have to,” you say, and it confuses him. You attempt an explanation. “I don’t want you to feel like you always have to make me finish, too. I just…I didn’t do it expecting anything in return. I want you to know that.”

You sound so sincere, so… benevolent. A far cry from the bratty little girl he first met. He presses a kiss to your temple and says quietly, “I’d never let my little girl go without. Not the kinda man I am, baby.”

He might be too old to go rounds with you, but he knows how to make you feel good. He’s real good at it, in fact.

Joel leans over and presses a chaste kiss to your clit, right over your panties. He delights in the way it makes you shiver, but it’s nothing compared to the sounds you make when he pulls the fabric to the side and slides his tongue through your wet warmth. 

He presses your legs back, opens you further, and laps at your pussy like a man starved for you because he is. You taste like redemption, like home.

Your hands weave into his hair, tugging lightly, and Joel moans when you press his face against your pussy like he just can’t get close enough. He takes your clit in his mouth and sucks hard, tongue rolling over it softly. 

“Fuck, that feels so good, Joel— God —”

A groan escapes him, lips vibrating with the sound of it. His cock begins to harden again, hanging heavy between his legs. He’s insatiable for you; returned to the needy, desperate stage of his masculinity he once thought he’d grown out of.

Joel quickens the movement of his tongue and slips a finger inside of you. Your back arches off the altar table and your hips grind against his face, smearing your slick down his chin, over his lips.

He hooks his finger inside of you and strokes the spot that makes you writhe. You look so beautiful he thinks you must be some divine being. It’s the only thing that makes sense in his head. 

Your legs begin to tremble around his shoulders and that’s when he decides to pull away. Because he wants you to cum for him, wants to be the reason you shiver and shake—but he wants to feel it. 

In one smooth movement, he pulls you to the edge of the altar table and sinks his cock into you deep.

“Oh my God,” you whimper. “Fuck, fuck, Joel, I’m gonna—!”

“Wait,” he says, stilling the instinctual rocking of his hips. You’re so tight, so smooth and wet as your pussy flutters around his cock. He pushes into you to the hilt but doesn’t move, doesn’t give you the satisfaction. He moves his hands to your lower belly, applying just a little bit of pressure. He can feel himself inside you, can feel just how full of him you are. “Want you to cum with me, little girl,” he says. “Can you do that for me? Hm?”

Slowly, experimentally, he shifts his hips the smallest bit, thrusting into you and laughing maliciously at the way you squeeze your eyes shut and whine for more. “I can—can try,” you stammer. “But it feels so —”

“Shh, I know baby,” he says, thrusting into you again, a little harder this time. It feels euphoric, indulging himself in you in a place of worship. He can feel faith in the air like magic, faith in you, in himself, in the love you share.

He moves again, fucking you slow and deep. If it weren’t for the way you make him feel, he thinks he might last a little longer. But the taste of ambrosia lingers on his tongue and he can see the pulsing of your clit and feel the tension in your muscles created from holding yourself back from the edge of pleasure.

Pride swells in his chest. His perfect girl, doing everything he asks, doing anything to please him. It makes him feel holy, like maybe the only godly presence in the room is him.

This is what you’ve done to him. You’ve taken this shell of a man and turned him seraphic, turned him sacred through your worship. Emotion builds in his throat when he thinks of it, when he realizes just how lucky he is to exist in this same universe as you, in the same lifetime. 

He kisses you deep and fucks you even deeper.

“Joel,” you pant, fingernails digging into the side of the altar table. The aged satin cloth has been wrinkled beneath your weight, hanging slightly askew off the edge. “Please, please, I can’t—!”

Warmth pools low in his belly. You sound so pretty when you beg. He presses one hand harder against your abdomen and uses the other to circle your clit. He can feel his cock move beneath his palm with each thrust and the sensation is the filthiest thing he’s ever experienced.

The pressure builds and builds and builds, and then finally —

“Go ‘head, baby. Cum for me,” he says, thrusting a little faster, rhythm faltering as rapture fills him like sunlight. Your legs tremble around his hips and your moans echo in the church as you find faith, too.

“I love you,” you say, and it feels like redemption. Like the opening of heaven’s gates. 

Like forgiveness.

You come down slowly, and Joel’s completely spent with almost no energy left. Yet still he helps you dress, pulls your sweater back on, and buttons up those too-tight jeans.

You eat together, rationing what little food you have left to try and stretch these precious days out a little longer. You admit around a bite of hard bread that you’re exhausted from the day’s ride and he is, too. And so you work together to stack the pews in front of the church’s double doors, sealing yourself inside but more importantly keeping anything outside from getting in.

There’s a window at the back of the church in a room Joel knows was once used for confessional. He leaves it cracked just enough to hear the horses outside if a commotion is caused. And then he holds you in his arms and sleeps. 

It’s the best sleep Joel’s gotten in twenty-five years, the sound of your voice echoing even in his dreams. 

But halfway through the night, the sound of whinnying and rambunctious laughter can be heard, jarring you both awake. 

You’re out of his arms and at the back of the church before Joel’s finished blinking his eyes open. 

He stands to his feet, heart racing behind his ribcage. 

Men’s voices, but far away. Several of them. 

He watches you move quickly through the church to the window at the front, watches you carefully peak through the dirty glass pane. 

Joel saddles up behind you and has never been more thankful that you skipped the warmth of a fire. Because fifteen yards away, there’s a group of men passing through. Some on horses, others walking casually beside them. They’re not subtle about their presence. 

Maybe they don’t think anyone’s around. And on any normal day, they would be right. Except this day, Joel’s here. You’re here.

He picks up his rifle from the makeshift bed the two of you created hours ago. 

You don’t move. You stay focused, transfixed as if you’re trying to see the minute details of their faces from this far away. You wipe the glass with the ivory sleeve of your sweater and it comes away grimy, covered in dust.

Joel knows there’s something you’re not telling him. Can feel the tension, electric and tight in the air, skin crawling with it. Your eyes are narrowed, focused on the sound of rambunctious laughter coming from the small group of men. 

And then your spine straightens and all concern bleeds from your face, replaced in an instant with rage. Red, murderous rage. Joel thinks he’s only seen that sort of frenzy in his own reflection. Now it stares back at him, mirrored and bloodthirsty. “What is it?”

You don’t answer. The scrape of your knife against its sheath at your thigh strikes a terror in him he hasn’t felt in years. His stomach turns uncomfortably because Joel knows, he knows something isn’t right. Something is going to go wrong. He can feel it in his marrow. 

“Stop,” he says. “Talk to me.”

It’s like his words don’t even register. You say nothing as you pull at the pews stacked in front of the doors. They scrape noisily against the hardwood floor, and Joel tries to find something to stop you, to get through to you—but that knife is still clutched in your blanched fist and he knows in your rage you’ll swing at him all the same.

“There are eight of them and two of us,” he tries to reason. “We have no ammunition, no bullets, no arrows. We have to let them—”

“Go?” You turn your frenzied eyes on him. “What’s now eight used to be twenty,” you say. “I won’t let them get away this time.”

“Then we plan for it,” he says, holding out a hand and taking a tentative step toward you. It doesn’t matter to him what your reasoning may be. Joel knows that sort of wrath, knows he’ll never change your mind. And he knows following you down this path of slaughter is bound to bloody his hands further, to taint his soul this time beyond repair. 

But he made a promise to you. Nothing in this world will you ever face alone. 

The problem is that Joel knows neither of you will make it out alive. Not in this. You got lucky back in Casper, and he’s got the knowledge and experience with age to know you won’t get lucky twice.

He can’t let you do this. 

“They won’t get far, okay? Not in an area like this. We go home— tomorrow. We ride to Jackson and we’ll get there in a day if we don't stop. And then we’ll come back for them, alright? We’ll stock up and track them down. I swear to you—”

“You don’t know,” you say, voice shaking. “You don’t know what they did—!”

“So tell me. Tell me everything. Give me the knife.” He reaches for it slowly, carefully. You eye him like he might grow claws and an extra head if you look away for an instant.

You don’t trust him, Joel realizes. Not at this moment, not with this. “Joel,” you say in warning. “Don’t.”

He wonders what’s led you here. Wonders about who’s distrusting hands you once placed your justice in. 

The answer comes to him the moment the question crosses his mind. 

“I’m not like her,” he says. “Look at me, baby girl. Look at me .”

You do. And though that frenzied look lingers in your eyes, something in you softens and he’s grateful for it.

“I’m not Maria. You understand me? When I make you a promise, I mean it. I will kill them. All of them. But we have to be smart about this. We have to do it right. Yeah?” He reaches out again. “Give me the knife.”

You angle it higher, just out of his reach. For a second Joel thinks all progress has been lost because he moved too quickly, too carelessly. But then you say, “Swear it to me. Swear on her life that you won't make me let them go.”

On her life. 

Not her death, but her life. A promise of certainty. An unbreakable oath. Because if he fails, if he shatters this trust, Sarah’s life means nothing.

Joel’s lungs ache. Everything hurts and his skin feels like it’s on fire because no one has ever seen him like this. No one has known exactly what to say, exactly which bruises to press. 

He nods slowly. “Okay,” he relents. “I swear on her life that we will find them.”

Carefully, you hand him the blade, and as if giving it away had flipped a switch, you deflate.

Joel slides your knife into the side of his boot when you turn away from him and go back to the window. 

He stands beside you, a looming presence at your back. Even though he wants answers, he doesn’t want to pry them out of you. And your silence allows him the space for his mind to wander into unspeakable places. Joel has seen firsthand the depraved, vile things that mankind spirals into beneath the weight of survival. 

For a time, even he had sunk so incredibly low. 

And because he’s seen so much, his brain is filled with gut-wrenching images, theoretical scenes of torture, corruption, and perversion. Each one is more brutal than the last. And in them all, you’re the center of it. 

You watch the group of men through the window until the blue illumination of their flashlights disappears from view. And the moment they do, you’re slipping through the window in the back of the church. 

Joel follows you, a million questions on the tip of his tongue. But he stays silent and does nothing but help you gather debris fallen from the trees in the wooded area behind the church. 

Once, he picks up a curved stick, and as if you’d seen it from the back of your head, you say, “No. Not that one. If they’re too curved, the arrows won’t shoot straight.”

 The two of you gather timber for over an hour. And when his hands are just as full as yours, you return to the church. Joel returns your knife and you attempt to teach him how to shave the stick correctly and to whittle the point of it into a weapon. 

He’s not even half as fast as you are. For every arrow he creates, you produce three. It’s a slow, tedious process, but eventually, you begin to speak. 

“It happened on the last run I did for Maria,” you say, eyes focused on the knife and wood in your hands. “I fell asleep one night. It’d been days since I’d given myself a chance to rest and it had finally caught up to me. I’d barricaded myself in a house and might as well have been dead to the world. Two of them found me. Didn’t wake me, didn’t try to kill me or anything. They just took my bow and my pack. My pack that was mostly empty, had nothing in it but a twelve gauge with two bullets, some cans of food, water, and those stale fucking barbecue chips.”

You shake your head dismally. 

“Should’ve fuckin left it. But I…I was afraid. If I came back to Jackson without the one thing she asked for, what use was I? What kept me there?”

It pains him to hear you say it. He wants to tell you you’re wrong, that despite what Maria has made you believe, your worth is not tied to what you can do for her. But he doesn’t. Joel just lets you talk. 

“I tracked them to a warehouse a few miles outside of Boise. Watched them for a while, memorized all the entrances, the windows. Even memorized their faces. They had two people on watch in rotating shifts. I didn’t want to kill them, considering they didn’t try to kill me. But I wanted my pack, and so I waited until four of them were talking during a shift change and slipped inside through the back.”

Your eyes darken, and Joel fears what you may say next.

“Didn’t go as planned. One of them saw me. Outed me immediately, of course. And I thought they’d kill me. Shoot me or something. But that didn’t go as planned, either. The leader was called Gabriel.”

Your hands around the arrow still and your eyes grow misty. You’re reliving it, as clearly as if it were happening now.

“He, uhm…held me down. Suggested the rest of them take turns with me.” 

Joel feels something inside him shift. Feels a decision being made, feels murder begin to drip down his fingertips like water.

“They’d already had my shotgun and took the pistol I had tucked in the back of my jeans the second they ripped them off. I thought…I thought it was the end for me. Because even if I survived it, even if I made it through all twenty of them…I might as well have been dead anyway.”

He understands now, Joel realizes. Understands why you were so infuriated about a run for a pregnancy craving when the price was this. His mouth runs dry.

Your words echo in the dark church. “Had my knife tucked up the sleeve of my jacket, though.” A small smile graces your face as you turn the blade over in your fingers admiringly. “Was able to stop Gabriel before he got any further. They were…stupid. Arrogant. Came at me one by one because why would you need more than that to fight a little girl with nothing but a knife ?”

Now there are only eight of them. The main perpetrator perished, his blood stained so deeply into your jacket that when you’d returned to Jackson they’d had to burn it. No salvaging anything from your destruction. 

Nothing but this vengeance, this promise to yourself to right those who wronged you.  He forced you to break it for your own safety. And though a surge of regret and sorrow trickles into his psyche, he knows there’s still an unbroken vow remaining. 

The promise Joel made to you. 

“Some of them ran. I tried to track them but after a few days, I just…I needed sleep. I wanted to go home.” You go black to fletching your arrow, whittling the end into a sharp point. “I’ll find them one day. Then it’ll be me taking turns with them .”

You don’t say much else for the next two hours. And he doesn’t, either. He helps you sharpen the timber into arrows and when you yawn three times in less than five minutes, he gives you his flannel and lets you lay your head in his lap. 

Joel smooths the tangles in your hair as you sleep. And when you begin to softly snore, he carefully shifts your head onto your sleeping bag and tucks the strap of his rifle beneath your arm.

When he slips out of the window in the back of the church, he latches it shut.  He decides against taking a horse, worried it’d create too much commotion. 

But he does take your serrated sawback knife, telling himself it’s poetic justice. 

They’re only two miles away, stashed in a rundown grocery store that’s been picked over one too many times. Two men sit outside the door. Old habits die hard, Joel thinks. 

One has his head tilted back against the stone wall, sleeping with an ease he doesn’t deserve.

Joel takes out the other one first. And he does it quicker than he’d like. He creeps up behind him silently, wraps one hand around his throat, and uses the other to cover his mouth. The snap of his spine reverberates through Joel’s hands, tingling from his palms down to his elbows. 

The other wakes with the commotion but doesn’t even have the chance to scream before your knife is lodged in his neck so deep the sharp point sticks out of the other end. 

Inside, the other six all rest as well. Joel wonders how they can do so peacefully, knowing they’ve given an innocent little girl fuel for her nightmares. A girl who’s lost enough, who’s sacrificed enough, more than anyone should—only to lose a piece of herself at their greedy hands.

He makes quick work of them. Even delights in the way life leaves their eyes. One by one, Joel uses your knife to slit each and every one of their throats. 

By the time he’s finished, his hands are caked in blood, splatters staining the sleeves of his heavy, canvas coat, and all that’s left of the men who hurt you are eight corpses.

You’re still sleeping when he slips back through the window of the church. It’s a little ironic, he thinks, to return here to this holy place with an angel inside, all while covered in the stink of death.

Joel sits beside you, back pressed against a pew. His hands rest on his knees, blood still drying beneath his fingernails. He watches you sleep and thinks his damnation is worth it if this brings you a sense of safety. 

Though he tries not to, Joel thinks an awful lot about Sarah. Thinks about how he failed her, how just a little more brutality could have saved her.

He’s spent years regretting that night, regretting holding on to the shred of humanity he had left when he should have been holding onto her. He makes a promise not to repeat the same bad habits. Makes a promise he’ll never let his naive desire for respite get in the way of his need to protect you, to keep you safe. He’s breaking the habit, the same as he did with Ellie, because Joel doesn’t think he'll ever survive a loss of such magnitude again.

It doesn’t matter what he has to become to keep you safe. Doesn’t matter the cost to his soul.

Your face looks peaceful but your fists are coiled tight beneath your head. As if even in your sleep you’re fighting something, always on the defense. He wonders if it’s a trait you inherited before or after those men, before or after your sister's death, before or after the accusatory way the inhabitants of Jackson look at you.

Joel feels something heavy rise up in him. Something akin to sorrow or grief. This deep, pensive heartache because it’s just not fair. You’re so young, so innocent, dealing with the same demons he still fights and sometimes loses to at age fifty-two. 

He doesn’t want this for you. Doesn’t want you to become volatile, murderous, monstrous in the ways he has. Joel spent so much time pushing you away and he thinks maybe it’s because there’s so much of his anger mirrored in you. That staring it in the face felt too harrowing, too raw. 

The longer he thinks about it the more pieces slot together in his brain. Your cruel words hurled at anyone who sets you on edge. Your inability to follow any direction that isn’t forced. The self-isolation, the distrust in even those you love most. That animalistic fight in you, flight and freeze be damned. The need to protect others before yourself—Joel, Ellie, Miley, even Maria.

You don’t deserve to live like this. Don't deserve eternal damnation or to experience the wrath of God for the monstrous things you result to when you feel all else is lost. Violence is the only thing that has never turned its back on you.

Joel’s melancholy manifests, a single tear sliding down his cheek. You’re just a little girl and it's not fucking fair. 

He doesn’t want this for you. He wants you to live a full, happy, peaceful life. Not one spent out here chasing ghosts, trying to find your worth in providing for others. He wants you to be protected, to know you’re loved even when you lash out, wants you to know that he understands. Joel wants to be that for you. Wants to be the unwavering support you deserve, wants to be the thing that pulls you back from that ledge you’re dancing upon. Joel wants to be for you what he needed in the darkest part of his rage.

But to do that, you’re going to have to relinquish a little more of that control you hold so tightly.

When you wake, it’s gradual. You don’t startle or flinch at the blood on his hands. But your eyes linger there on the red stain for some time before you ask, “All of them?”

Joel nods once. “All of them.” 

And then you’re crawling into his lap, straddling him, pressing your mouth to his, thanking him in the only way you know how. Your tongue tastes like sleep and ambrosia and sunlight, but when Joel cradles your face in his hands he leaves blood in the wake of his fingertips. The bright red is a stark contrast against the smoothness of your skin, the violence an antithesis to your innocence.

He slides his bloody hands into your hair when your hips begin to move. His cock hardens quickly as his body catches up with your intent, always needy and eager, always just waiting to join you in more than just soul.

While he unbuttons his jeans and slides his zipper down to pull his erection out, your mouth never leaves his. Even when you shove those too-tight jeans down your thighs just enough to make room for him. When you lift up on your knees and sink down onto his cock in one familiarized movement he can feel the vibration of your moan against his tongue, can feel the breath of air from your gasp as he settles in deep.

The stretch is blissfully painful, stinging in all the right ways. You rock your hips slowly at first, adjusting to the sheer size of him, adjusting to his all-encompassing warmth. Your fingers dig into his thick shoulders, desperate to keep your balance.

And then you lift just enough to come slamming back down, the friction setting his skin ablaze. Again, again, again —it’s hurried and needy and depraved. Your hips move fervently over his, seeking out what you know only he can provide.

Your eyes are squeezed shut when you pull your sweet mouth away from his. Joel watches you lean back and place your hands on his thighs for support, back arching, and somehow he finds himself even deeper inside you. You’re moaning and his breath is coming fast and he thinks you look more than just angelic from this angle. He watches you ride his cock and wonders if you were fucking made to do this. 

Cheeks flushed, lips parted, his name on your lips. Is this what Eve saw in the waxy reflection of the forbidden fruit? Is this what she saw when she knowingly abandoned paradise? 

Joel thinks it can’t get much better than this. Thinks the only thing that’s ever come close is the feeling of blood on his hands in the name of those he loves, in the name of you.

He wraps his hand around your throat, staining you even further red, and says, “I’d do anything for you. Anything .” 

He thinks about the Ten Commandments, about how he can cross off every single one of them with just this act alone. 

You shall have no other Gods before me. 

No divine being has made him feel like this. No divinity has ever reached up through his ribs and squeezed a fist around his heart. Not like you have. 

You shall make no idols. 

He thinks about the way you look in his canvas coat. Joel has found his own form of peace through you, has found forgiveness beneath your tongue. 

You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain. 

Your pace quickens. The obscene, wet sounds coming from the place you’re joined echo in the walls of the church. “Oh my God, Joel, I’m—I’m close.”

He knows you are. Can feel it in the way your pussy squeezes him like a vise, in the way your rhythm becomes sloppy and desperate.

Keep the Sabbath day holy. 

Joel doesn’t know what day it is. But he knows he wishes he could stay here in this home you’ve made together within the bones of an old religion, wishes he could stay inside you. He doesn’t know if there’s anything more unholy than this insatiable desire.

Honor your father and mother.

He thinks about that day in the dining hall when embarrassment climbed Maria’s cheeks as you screamed in her face. Joel thinks she deserved it more than he realized that day. He thinks about the way you spoke to him in that watchtower, thinks about the way he’d had to drag you there by your hair, all while listening to every disrespectful thing that came out of your mouth and how a few short weeks later you got down on your knees and called him daddy. 

You shall not murder. 

He takes the hand wrapped around your throat and flattens it against your sternum. The blood is drying but still marks your skin in the shape of his fingerprints.

You shall not commit adultery.

Joel knows he’s supposed to be with a lovely, soft-spoken, age-appropriate woman but knows, too, that death would be kinder than the loss of you. 

You shall not steal. 

He was angry at first, about the strawberry scone. Mike’s wife is a kind woman who spends her time baking for the community. But Ellie likely never would’ve had the opportunity to try it had you not nicked the pastry. If it was always going to lead the two of you here, together, Joel would have stolen every last scone on God’s green earth. 

You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. 

Lying seems a small price to pay for you, for your safety. He remembers telling Greg and Bonnie that you were running late the night you left him in the watchtower alone. He wanted to keep you safe then even without noticing that’s what he was doing. Safe from ridicule, from judgment. 

You shall not covet. 

He recalls seeing Abel’s hands on you, seeing his lips against your hair in a chaste kiss. Joel had wanted to kill him then, for touching what was his. He knows by taking you for his own, he’s taking you away from someone like Abel. Someone with a little more moral in their heart, a little less blood on their hands. But he doesn’t care because you’re his now and always. 

Joel lifts his hips in tandem with yours, meeting each stroke, thrusting his cock even deeper inside you. Your legs begin to shake around his and Joel thinks damnation isn’t so bad. “Anything,” he repeats. “Lie, cheat, steal.” His hand on your chest slides up again, wrapping tight around your throat. “I’d kill for you, little girl.”

Your pussy flutters around him and your spine bends in the most beautiful arch he’s ever seen. It solidifies his belief in one very important thing, the last nail in the coffin that cements the two of you together eternally.

This filthy, sinful devotion is cosmic. Celestial. Unearthly. So much more than a bible and cross. 

It’s worth it. It’s worth everything. 

“You like that? Hm?” Your rhythm falters but his remains steady. “Like that I’d spill blood for you, s’that it? That’s what got you all wet, sweetheart?” Your moans turn saccharine— sacrilegious. “Pretty pussy’s so fuckin’ tight, baby. Such a messy thing. I’d kill anyone for my little girl. Anyone .”

“Joel, I—!” 

He knows, he knows. Because he is, too. “Yeah, thaaaat’s it,” he says, drawing out each syllable. Your hands squeeze hard around his thighs and your muscles draw tight. “There you go, baby. Cum for me. That’s it. Sweet fuckin’ girl. Gonna fill you up. That what you want?”

You rasp out his name and the words yes, please, please, and it sounds like a fucking prayer. It’s a hypnotic litany. It makes him feel cherished, adored. And the sound of it spoken in worship in the house of God sends him over the edge. 

Even though your legs tremble around his, you ride his cock relentlessly. Joel’s vision goes white and his hand on your hip squeezes tight enough to bruise. You feel so good, so warm and wet. You lift your hips and slam them back down until the oversensitivity becomes more than he can bear. His hand abandons the home it’s made around your throat and finds the small of your back instead, stilling you completely.

You lean forward, collapsing with your hands pressed against his chest. Joel wraps his arms around your middle and cradles you in his lap, all too aware of the divinity he holds in his hands. He presses a kiss to your temple and listens to your heavy breaths.

Some time passes. He’s not sure how long the two of you sit there with Joel still wedged deep inside you, basking in the afterglow. The sun rises outside and the songbirds of the morning begin to sing. 

Eventually, you lift your head and whisper, “Thank you.”

“For what?” Joel doesn’t understand. He’s stolen something he was undeserving of, only to be loved back. If anyone should be thankful, it should be him. 

It feels like a punch to the gut when you say, “For seeing me.”

Because he now knows no one else ever has. No one has ever seen your defiance as anything but a nuisance, has never seen you as more than a troublemaker, as a bad omen.  

But Joel does see you. He sees right through all that savage fight to the little girl beneath, that soft, childish innocence you keep under heavy guard. He thinks he’s been able to see through it since the first moment he laid eyes on you.

It’s her he wants to protect.

Joel takes your chin in his hand and makes you a commandment of his own. “I will always see you.”

[part seven] [part nine]

taglist; @heartbrokenlilbitch-nef @elliesr1fle @pascaltesfaye

let me know if you want to be added! thank you to everyone for all the insane support on this <3

[masterist]

[truthfulpoint]

The Summer I fucked my GF's 18-year-old cousin

I was probably a senior in college. I was close to graduating and the homework at the time took over my life. If I was not in class, I was either at work or doing homework. I was living with my girlfriend at the time. We stayed at a whole house with multiple rooms by ourselves. The house belonged to her family but they stayed out in the suburbs and would normally rent out this house but my GF needed a place to stay while she was looking for something more permanent. I was technically not fully living there, but the house was between work and school so I always crashed and my GF didn't mind it. She actually just pushed me to move my stuff in.

Several months in, my gf comes to me and asked me if it was okay if her cousin moved in with us for a bit. Her cousin was having issues at home with her parents and she just needed a place to stay before she moved to college in the Fall. I was fine with it, but I also couldn't argue against it, it was not my house and I am also a very caring and helpful person. My only concern was that it was May, so that would be about 3 to 4 months that she would stay with us.

Her cousin moves in a week later. Her name is Maria, she was cute, but I tried to not think of her in any sexual matter at the time for obvious reasons. She was average height, maybe 5'6'', nice curves, she had long black straight hair with bright brown eyes. She actually looked similar to [Valery Altamar](https://www.reddit.com/r/ValeryAltamarFans/), face and body figure but with a little more weight.

She was nice, very polite, and shy. I have a very enthusiastic personality so I would always try talking to her. My gf once told me to behave because that's how I ended up getting her to like me.

A month passes by and things are fine, some things had to change like I couldn't walk around the house half-naked and my sex life wasn't as active. It's not that it was before but it was just awkward having Maria around. Our bedroom floor always creaked so we always struggled to keep movements to a minimum. But other than that, it was nice having Maria there. She was a clean freak so the house was always clean. She also offered to do laundry.

One thing that was noticeable is that Maria always wore something that showed off her ass. Either those skinny jeans, yoga/sports leggings, sometimes some sport shorts that would sometimes show the bottom of her ass cheeks if she bent down. I would be a liar if I didn't admit that I would always stare. I didn't think much of time, and I had no intention of doing or saying anything. I just saw it as eye candy. To be clear, just turned 18 in April.

Here is when things switch to a quick 180. One evening, I came home from the gym and I went to go take a shower but the bathroom was occupied, I knocked and it was Maria. I apologized for bothering her, it sounded like she was also in the shower. I go into my room to grab my clothes and the next thing I hear is the bathroom door open and Maria walking quickly to her room and closes it. I finally walked into the bathroom and I noticed that she left some of her clothes on the ground. I didn't think much of it, but I was curious to look at her panties. I grabbed them and they were a pair of blue panties, normal, nothing special, but for some reason, my cock started to get hard. I had a strange thought thinking that this is the closest I would get to her pussy, and I end up sniffing them. I instantly got turned on and I started to stroke myself. This was the first time I have ever done anything like that but it was intoxicating.

I didn't have the shower on yet and out of nowhere the bathroom door opens. It was Maria with a horrified look on her face and she quickly slams the door shut. Not sure what she saw at that moment, but I hid the panties behind my back as fast as I could and all I knew for sure is that Maria got to see my hard cock.

I was in a frenzy and felt sick to my stomach wondering if she knew I had her panties. I can easily explain masturbating and being caught, that happens all the time. But I kept thinking about what would happen if she told my GF about the panties. I put her panties back in her pile of clothes similar to how I found them and took a quick shower.

After the shower, I went to Maria's room. My GF was downstairs in the living room watching tv. Maria was avoiding eye contact and I apologize but she cut me off and said,

"I am sorry for opening the door without knocking, I didn't know anyone was in there"

I responded, "I am sorry you saw me doing that, I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I understand if you don't want to see me or be here"

She quickly turned to me and said, "it's not that, it was an accident, let's pretend nothing like that happened, I won't tell anyone"

With a sense of relief but also guilt, I said, "If you do feel uncomfortable and need me to explain anything, please reach out or talk to your cousin if that would make you feel better"

For the next week, I avoided her completely, I stayed in my office working on homework or playing games. I was extremely unsure if she saw that I had her panties. But I ended up jerking off a lot that week of just thinking of her. I even felt tempted to go into her room and find another pair of panties. But I suppressed myself. But one night, Maria text me when I was in my office working on a paper for school.

"can I ask you a question and you do not have to respond"

"sure", my heart was pounding when I sent that message

"Why did you have my panties by your face when I saw you in the bathroom?", she asked

I felt a pit in my stomach and I did not know how to respond. I felt like she was going to show this text messages to my GF or something. I felt like I had to lie or end the conversation, so I responded with

"I think its best not to talk about what happened. It was a bit embarrassing for both of us"

"Okay," she responded.

I couldn't focus on homework anymore so I went to bed late that night. When I went into my bedroom, I looked through my Gf's phone to see if Maria text her. Luckily there was no recent message.

The next several days, things at home were calm, I had a week break in between spring and summer classes. I am not sure if it was in my head but Maria was acting nicer than usual. She would fix me coffee in the morning, always ask if I need anything. She would sit on the same couch I am on when we were watching tv. I actually noticed that she stopped wearing bras around me. I am not sure, but my GF didn't have a problem with it. Just to note, she would only be this nice or close to me when my GF was not around. But one evening, my GF went out to visit her mom. I was going to go out too but my friends were busy.

That evening things were normal, Maria was was in the living room watching television, I was in my office on Reddit. My door was open and I had a clear view of the living room and I got to have a good look of Maria laying on the couch. She was wearing grey yoga leggings, and a cropped shirt that made her tits look very perky. The things I was looking at on Reddit didn't help (teen porn, sex stories, etc.). I started having some dirty thoughts and then I got up and went to join her.

I sat down and she gave me a sly smile like she knew I would join her. All I wanted to do was answer her question. So I said

"hey, I can answer your question if you're still interested"

She muted the tv, "are you sure", she asked

"I said yea, and I said that I was curious" I couldn't keep a straight face

She blushed and responded with, "Is that normal for guys to do?"

I explained that some people do it and that it can be seen as weird or normal, depending on how you talk about it. We just laughed about it and the atmosphere felt a lot better. I asked her if any of her boyfriends ever do something like that?

"No, my boyfriend hasn't done anything like that" she responded

I didn't know she had a boyfriend so I said: "how come you never invite him over?"

"He is very pushy to have sex and I am not ready yet" as she looked away.

She basically told me she was a virgin and for some reason, I found it very appealing. To keep this short, for the next several hours, we talked about sex. She was actually bombarding me with questions. She would turn bright red when she would ask something. I was only getting turned on. Some of the things she asked were common like first time experience and what not. But the one question that caught me off-guard is when she asked

"Does having anal sex means you lose your virginity?"

I responded, "depends on who you ask, have you tried anal?"

Her face turned beat red and said "No but I touch myself and sometimes put a finger or two inside that hole"

My cock was rock hard just imagining her playing with herself like that. She got up to get something to drink from the kitchen and when she returned, she sat right next to me. I tried really hard to hide my boner, but I tried just being funny and change the conversation to something normal. We enjoyed ourselves but I made some advances touching her leg for a second or tickling her sides. I even made a joke that she be showing off her butt a lot.

"Should I wear baggy clothes then?" she asked laughing

In a serious soft tone, I said "I like my eye candy the way it is"

"Wow" she said laughing, "what does that even mean?"

She didn't know what eye candy was so I had to explain it. I am not sure if it was an age thing but I was only 6 years older than her.

"I enjoy what I see," I said

She was quick to respond, "Do my panties smell like candy to you then"

without thinking, I said, "you probably taste like candy"

As soon as I said that, I kissed her. It was a peck at first. I pulled away to see her reaction, and then she leaned towards me and pressed her lips against mine. I was not thinking anymore and I just wanted to enjoy kissing the lips of this girl I have been fantasizing for. I held her tight while my hands were around her waist and her thigh. I could tell she was not that experienced with kissing but the only thing on my mind was getting her naked. I laid her down and I started to pull her leggings down. I usually take my time with foreplay but I had this intense feeling of having a taste of her juices. I didn't care if it was wrong, I just needed it. As I was pulling her leggings down, she stopped me and said that she doesn't want to have sex. Right away, I came to my senses and went back to kissing her. She stopped me after a bit. Then she pulled her leggings off.

"Are you sure you want to take them off? Making out is just fine", I said.

She didn't respond and only went back to kissing me. This time she started to moan as she was feeling my cock over my gym shorts. I did not want to make her feel uncomfortable so I decided to take my time and see if where things lead. I kissed her neck and then over her shirt, and I made sure to kiss her nipple area. As much as I wanted to lift her shirt, I knew I had to make sure feel comfortable.

As I was making my way down, I noticed she was wearing the blue panties from the other day. I also noticed that she had some amazing brown legs. I started to kiss her inner thighs slowly, she was trembling, I kept making my way up to her pussy, she still had her panties on and I noticed a wet spot on them. Before I made any more advances, I asked her

"Are you feeling okay? I do not want to do anything that would make you feel uncomfortable"

She looked confused and unsure but responded, "I have not done anything like this, but I don't want to stop"

"We can just mess around and do some foreplay and oral, or we can stop", I said in a soft but deep tone.

She paused again and finally said, "I will tell you if I want to stop"

Right away, I put my mouth over her panties. The thought of her panties in my mouth was a turn on and I finally pulled them aside and saw her pussy. she had some hair on it but looked trimmed. Without hesitation, I dove into her pussy. With a mouth full, I massaged her labia and played with her clit and then pressed my tongue inside her pussy to get a better taste.

She moaned loudly, "This is the first time anyone has ever eaten me out!"

She definitely tasted different compared to my GF. Maria's pussy had a sweetness to it that had me wanting more and more.

I kept eating her out a couple of minutes until she finally orgasmed. She was trembling after I was done, I sat up and she was thrusting her hips while rubbing her pussy. She had this embarrassed look on her face but it was obvious that she was taken over by her horniness. She said that her orgasm felt different compared to when she plays with herself. I finally pulled my dick out and I started jerking it. I really wanted to fuck her so badly.

"Do you want to go forward and have sex?" I said as I was stroking my dick and rubbing her thigh.

"I am not ready, and we need a condom," she said with disappointment in her voice.

"Fuck you are right, want to try anal then?" I said jokingly

I was not thinking clearly, I just wanted to fuck this girl so badly. The next thing she does is get close to me and puts her mouth on my dick. I moan, my dick just needed some attention. Her mouth was so warm, but it was obvious she was nervous.

"I only done this like, twice," she said after she pulled my dick out her mouth.

"You don't have to do this," I said, but then she put her mouth back on it. I truly felt like I was on the verge of cumming. She tried giving me a blowjob the best she could but it was not the best and I did not want to embarrass her by stopping. In the end, I told her to lick the tip while I jerked it. At this point, I was able to reach and grab her ass. Not even a minute in, I finally came, and she pulled away. For someone who just did something so sexual, she was also so shy about it.

We cleaned up, and I went to wash my face, I didn't want the smell of pussy on my lips. Not even 30 minutes later, my GF comes home. Maria went to her room already and I was in my office. That same night, I ended up fucking my GF hard. She was surprised with all the energy I had, she kept telling me to be quiet so Maria wouldn't hear us but I didn't care. I basically went 2 or 3 rounds that night.

The next morning I wake up early to turn in an assignment for class. I hear someone walking down the stairs and when I turned over I see Maria by the door asking if I want coffee, I said sure. When she came back into my office, she got close to my ear and said

"Last night, I played with my ass when you were having fun in the other room"

I got hard right away. But I started feeling guilty. It finally came to me that I cheated on my GF and what I did was wrong on so many levels. I looked and Maria and just played off the conversation to make it seem normal.

Some time passed and Maria and I have not brought up anything. We acted normal around each other. She started wearing her bra around the house and we barely spoke. I felt sad, to be honest, I thought I hurt her, or she was uncomfortable around me. I wanted to talk to her but I didn't want to through text. but we were never alone together. But one day, we had a visitor. Maria's boyfriend came over. This guy looked so young with some peach fuzz excuse for facial hair. He honestly looked younger than Maria and that is saying a lot.

I didn't mind it at all, they kept to themselves. My Gf and I were watching Netflix and Maria and her Bf went upstairs to her room. I was joking to with my GF and said

"do we have to be parents and tell her to leave the door cracked open"

My Gf responds, "Do you want to give her the talk about the birds and the bees Mr. Dad?"

We both laugh and then it hit me. They are probably making out or doing some other things. I felt a bit of jealousy but I tried not to think about it much. Later that evening, Maria's boyfriend finally leaves and Maria joins us in the living room. She looks normal and then my GF starts to tease her.

"Did you get lucky?" my GF said

Maria blushed and said "What are you even talking about!"

I just laughed and I wondered if she just lost her virginity or did some other things. I got up and went to my office to work on some homework. My GF went upstairs to go shower and go to bed and Maria stayed in the living room. I told myself that I will not join her or give her any attention.

An hour later, there is a knock on my door and Maria comes in. She sits in the love seat that is in my office. There was a lot of space between us with the desk and all.

"How's homework going?" she asks

"Its fine, I am actually procrastinating and doing some other things"

"I am not bothering you am I? I could leave", she responded.

"No of course not! How was your day? Did you enjoy having your BF over?" I said with a smile

"It was okay, we just hung out" she said while avoiding eye contact

"I will admit, that I thought you guys were doing something freaky", I said, hoping that she will give me a good answer.

Before she said anything, she closed the office door. My GF already text me goodnight so I knew she was in bed.

"We tried to have sex but I was not in the mood", she said

I started to get a little hard at that moment. "How come you weren't in the mood?"

"Cuz he didn't make me feel the same way you did"

I instantly got hard, but what shocked me was that she walked up to me and sat on my lap. I didn't think anything of it, but we just talked about what happened with her boyfriend. She explained that he is too rough and way too excited and I told her that most young guys only care about fucking but not pleasuring their partner and that he probably only knows about sex through porn.

"Maybe you need someone older and experienced, you seem like the type of girl that needs a lot of attention and affection", I said jokingly

Then she moved her hips as she was sitting on me. There was no doubt that she could feel my hard cock.

"Maybe you need to show me how I need to be treated", she said in a sensual voice.

Next thing I noticed, she got up and pulls my shorts down. She got on her knees and started licking my shaft slowly. I swear this felt like a scene in a porn video but I had this sexy young girl pleasuring me. For some reason, she was doing a lot better from last time.

"Have you been practicing with your boyfriend?" I said between my heavy breathing

"Maybe, but I was also looking up videos so I can be better for you"

Not sure if she felt it, but when she said that, my cock got harder and twitched.

"Sit back on my lap," I said

She got up and I had her sit in a position that my dick would go in if she wasn't wearing her shorts. I started to rub my hands throughout her body, finally feeling her breast as I kissed her neck. We were at this for a bit until I started to pull her shorts down. Finally my dick felt her skin. She started to grind on me and my dick started to slide in between her cheeks. Her pussy was so wet, but my dick was pressed against me so it couldn't penetrate her. She moaned while we were doing this and I had to cover her mouth. At that moment, I was going to stick it in her pussy. I just told myself that I would get her a plan B. Right when I grabbed my dick, she stopped me.

"Wait, I am not ready for that yet," She said right away.

"Sorry, let's do something else before I keep pushing myself onto you." I said with annoyance in my voice

"Let me try something," She said

To my surprise, she grabbed my cock and started pressing it against her asshole. I was in disbelief but I was not going to fight it. Obviously we didn't have any lube, but my dick was already wet from her bj and her pussy juices. It was very tough to get it in, but finally the head went in and she let a whimper.

"Don't push yourself, move slowly, if you need to, move your hips into it", I said as I held my dick in position for her.

Finally the rest of my dick was in her ass. I was blown away by how tight she was. My GF had a great ass for anal but Maria's ass basically gripped my dick. With my hands, I got to spread Maria's ass as she moved her whole body.

"Does it hurt?", I asked

"A little but it feels so good, but please finish soon", She said as she moaned.

I knew I couldn't finish in the position I was in, so I got her up, with my dick still in her ass, and had her lay against my desk. I started fucking her doggy style and it felt like I was able to go deeper in her ass. I was amazed that I got to fuck her like this. At that angle, her ass looked so much better than my GFs.

"Are you going to let me fuck your ass whenever I want?" I said as I slowly fucking her

"Yes, only if you fuck me this good" She said as she was pushing her ass back.

I started thrusting faster until I finally shot my load in her ass. I don't know why, I cummed so much, it felt like my dick was being drained out.

"Oh my god," She said in a worried tone

"Is everything okay?", I said as I was calming down with guilt washing over me.

"I didn't know you were going to cum in me," she said

I slowly pull out and I to see what I just fucked. I was getting turned on again by looking as her ass and pussy. We both got ourselves back together, making sure I didn't leave cum anywhere. I slowly open the door to see if the ghost was clear and it seemed that my GF was still in bed. "Sorry for cumming in you, you should be fine, is everything okay?" I said "Yes, I was just caught off guard. I feel like I am dripping" She said as she was turning red from embarrassment. She went to go shower and I stayed in my office. I could not get the image of her perfect ass out of my head. After her shower, she comes back downstairs to kiss me. Not sure how, but she was kissing a lot better. It made me realize that she was just nervous at first. She was wearing some loose shorts so I was able to grab her ass nicely. Then I asked her

"Do you mind If I eat you out but in the same position I just had you?", She was unsure at first but said, "That's fine", with a shy smile on her face I am not sure if she agreed to just please me but I wanted to take advantage. I bent her over and I pull her shorts down. Once again, my dick is already throbbing for more action. She smelled like the body wash my GF uses, so I can tell she cleaned herself very well after our fun. I start licking her pussy, and her sweet juices started to flow. I could tell by the way her knees bent and by her moans that she was loving it. The best part was that I had a clear view of her asshole. "I am going to do something different, if you want me to stop then say so", I said.

After kissing her pussy deeply, I moved up and twirled my tongue around her asshole.

She gasps and said, "I don't know how I feel about this"

"Let try it out a bit and if you do not like it then we can stop", I said I start to rub her clit with my thumb and I press my tongue against her ass. This time she moans. I finally use two hands to spread her ass and I just focus on pleasuring her with my tongue. I don't usually do this with my GF, only if we are drunk but I had these strong intensions of pleasuring her every way I knew how. We do this for a little while until we heard a noise from upstairs and we both got up quickly. She leaves the office and I get back to my chair. I was panicking a bit, but I stayed in the office with my textbook open and my computer on the college website

A couple of minutes later, Maria texts me that she's in her room and didn't hear anything once she left the office. She responds that she had fun, and I ended up jerking off to the thought of her. I finally showered and went to bed. The guilt I originally felt started to go away as I started to convince myself that this will be temporary and it was worth having fun with her.

[ataraxiaspainting]

Cupid.

Yan Chrollo x F Reader.

Synopsis: No matter how much soap is used up, even when the bars are all dissolved in the bathwater and the bottles are empty, you know that from now on all you will be is dirty. You will never be clean again. Never.

Warnings: Yandere themes, heavily implied non-con, past violence, manipulation, and kidnapping.

Word Count: 1k.

Ten Songs Like This Piece:

Memoir #02 [06.12.09] by Maria Pseftoga (feat. May Roosevelt)

I Can’t Handle Change by Roar

A Burning Hill by Mitski

No Surprises by Radiohead

A Pearl by Mitski

Liquid Smooth by Mitski

Six Forty Seven by Instupendo

I Love You Like An Alcoholic by The Taxpayers

Bumblebees Are Out by Jack Stauber’s Micropop

Bathtub by The Front Bottoms

"Now the time has come. I put two bullets in my gun. One for me, and one for you. Oh darling, it will be so beautiful." – Misery (1990)

*~*~*~*

The steam rising feels so thick it nearly suffocates you. That does not stop you from burying yourself further into the water, up to your nose and nearly filling up your ears. No, if anything, the steam makes you want to drown in it so much more. You contemplate putting your entire head under, screaming into the water until no bubbles rise to the surface.

But the demon wearing pale human skin would stop you before your escape attempt is successful. That is what he always does, after all.

Your white wool towel and his gray one is placed on the same rack, on your side. On one of the hooks behind the door are your pajamas, the color of strawberry taffy, and small buttercups on both the top and lower parts of the set. There are twenty-two on the shirt and nineteen on the pants. You know this because you have counted them many, many times before, the first-time being weeks if not months ago, when you thought the worst thing Chrollo could do to you is slap you or ignore you if you ever hit him. If you ever succeeded in that department, with his lightning-fast reflexes. You can only remember being that fortunate enough maybe… a maximum of four times, you think, before you stopped, after your initial fears of him killing you were brushed off, and after your survival instincts adapted to fit this particular situation. 

Rebelling by fighting him is not going to help. You know that it is something ingrained in every human, getting physical in the face of a threat, whether it be a real one or not. However, upon your initial confinement in this place, your primal instinct also urged you to escape. You constantly remind yourself that this is impossible due to the numerous locks on the door and Chrollo's ability to summon a seemingly omnipotent book out of thin air. You are unable to flee, thus your survival instinct must adjust to an alternative strategy. Nevertheless, it fails to do so, prompting you to ultimately confront different adversaries altogether; Chrollo's caresses, presents, and offerings of quality time.

But now seeing where that got you now, you regret not attempting to jump out of his car and run for the hills, not caring if he was behind you or not.

“...” You are silent as you push back further and further until the crown of your head feels the porcelain wall. “...”

Chrollo, in turn at your silence, simply puts some water into his cupped hand, letting his thumb play around in it for a little while before releasing it back from whence it came. “Now, what did we learn today? You don’t plan to be silent the rest of the night, do you dearest?”

You're uncertain about your plans, but one thing you do know is that drowning him in the bathtub is not one of them. Despite your desire to do so, you acknowledge that you wouldn't come out victorious. Presently, you feel apprehensive about what lies ahead. If this isn't the absolute depths to which Chrollo would sink, then what could be?

“...” Your mind wanders at a languid pace, not in a slithering manner, but rather with a slow crawl. It looms menacingly, poised to devour you entirely, leaving you voiceless. To prevent its dreadful consumption, you divert your attention to the objects surrounding you, to anything but the one who holds you captive.

“...If you don’t want to chat now, that is fine,” This time, Chrollo scoops water into his palms and gently pours it over his hair. “You can always do so when we get out.”

The water is still clear, so clear that you can still see the bottom of the bathtub. The salts he put were lavender scented, you think, because something floral is in the steam and the small bits of water that make their way into your nostrils and mouth. There is lemon balm, peppermint, and rose petals floating about too, but one or two of them have clung to your body like seaweed you would accidentally walk near when you went into the ocean’s tides, causing you to squirm to get them off. Chrollo most likely finds this amusing, because he does not think much else of you, does he?

“...” There are seventy-three tiles in all on the bathroom floor that are in plain view, not counting the ones underneath the rugs, the bathtub, cleaning supplies, shelving, and the toilet. “...”

You could recount them again instead of putting water over your head too. “Do you want to do anything related to aftercare aside from this?”

“...” Rather than uttering a word, you choose to count the uncovered tiles on the bathroom floor. “...”

The occurrence can be summed up by a single word: dissociation. To shield you, your mind disentangled the emotional pains from the physical ones, rendering you void of sensation, numb. This was done to prevent you from comprehending the true nature of what transpired, what just happened, when his patience snapped and he tied you to the bed by the wrists, ripping and ripping until–

“...”

You and the devil are side by side. 

“There is no need to repeat what happened today, correct? Then everything will go back to normal. Just hope for your well-being that you remember this.” 

“...I will. I will.” The sound of your voice brings a smile to his face, and he cups a handful of water in his palms.

The liquid flows down from your hair, mimicking a gentle rainfall, only to rebound and retreat to its origin. This rhythmic cycle persists, until unexpectedly, your body surrenders to a state of tranquility, defying the will of your mind. Your head tilts backward, and for a fleeting moment, you feel weightless, as if hovering above the water's surface.

Your mind will now be cleansed of the undesirable side of Chrollo, hopefully ensuring that you never have to witness it again.

[witchofthemidlands]

i know, i know realistically that because tales of the tardis is making it's return that “the one who waits” or whatever “the big bad” is that shall be giving the doctor & UNIT grief in the finale will probably be that villain from the pyramid serial that was, in fact, the first proper classic who serial i ever saw because it was on the sarah jane adventures dvd but up until the new tales of the tardis instalment was announced, i was so deep in the theory that this is all leading up to the trickster's greatest comeback of all time: ruby is an element of the pantheon & seeing as i've clowned too close to the sun i'm unleashing the insanity that's been occurring in my brain since “the devil's chord”

so basically the doctor said 8 words about maestro & i haven't been sane since.

“that thing must be part of the pantheon”

that was it for me then, i was CONVINCED that this might be leading up to have something to do with the trickster because in “the wedding of sarah jane smith” the doctor & the trickster/the pantheon talk about how they heard about one another through legend:

& from the spreading of the salt this era of doctor who has been all about myths & legends breaking their way through into the universe & the first half of the finale is titled “the legend of ruby sunday”

THEN maestro attacked ruby & the music played from within ruby is VERY similar to the score played in “whatever happened to sarah jane smith” when sarah jane was giving maria the puzzle box which protected her (& then later alan) from the trickster's power & this was the first time the trickster ever came into the whonivese & whilst i thought i was reaching here, i was CLEARLY not the only one who thought that the score progression sounded similar.

https://youtu.be/ARVTQ91P5RE?si=_TD41qhQ_PbQ-8kp

after “the devil's chord” i didn't want to say anything because i thought i was going to sound absolutely crackers but it was simmering, the thoughts that whatever ruby is COULD be connected to the trickster or the pantheon. honestly even if it turns out to be nothing to do with the trickster themself but just another element of the pantheon that's at play & what everything is leading up to, i'd consider that a win.

the full downward spiral into madness began after i witnessed the horror that was “73 yards” which both scared me for life & after like no doctor who episode has done in a VERY long time because not only was i actually scared of ruby sunday & was thinking WHAT IS THIS BEING but it also unleashed this:

deep down, my rational brain KNOWS it's not what my unhinged brain thought it were but in fact what it literally was which was a story filled with elements of welsh folklore BUT my brain said:

to my brain, “73 yards” reminded me of the doctor in “turn left” saying:

and whilst i was in my post 73 yards state of horror/being genuinely afraid of what ruby was there's was two options my brain was throwing out:

1) ruby could be one of the pantheon/the trickster’s brigade she's one of the changelings like the time beetle because life WAS changed in tiny little ways & this was literally probably one of ruby's worst case scenario: that everyone would leave & she'd be alone all her life & her fears manifested in her potential trickster/changeling power & made a whole new reality for her that she enabled herself to stop. it was all just her & the extent of her powers which could be used for very bad.

2) and this is the one that i latched onto like a person deranged:

ruby is a creation of the trickster, the trickster is “the one who waits” because the trickster has been “waiting” for a way to break into the universe & then i just went wild with this theory of mine because of the sarah jane adventures.

in the (devastating) final season of the sarah jane adventures, sky smith was left on the doorstep of sarah jane's house when she was a baby, similarly to how ruby is left on the threshold of the church on ruby road. now that's a reach, yes but HAD the sarah jane adventures series 5 finished the way it was intended to be finished, sky smith would have turned out to be the trickster's child in an finale called “the battle of bannerman road” & her trickster powers would have been awakened by the trickster. sarah jane would apparently have been considering this to be true because she'd gotten jo jones to research “trickster myths” sky would have returned to herself but would have evolved into an entity that would banish the trickster from reality & guard him in a prison forever:

The Battle of Bannerman Road (unproduced TV story) | Tardis | Fandom

honestly i started to imagine that a similar situation could happen with ruby because this story was ultimately never made & whilst i am probably clowning to the highest degree here, i thought about jo & clyde's segment of “tales of the tardis” & how clyde's story is left open ended as if it could possibly be continued & what better way to continue clyde & rani's story then to bring them back during a potential battle with the trickster? there is also the fact that the other unnamed episodes of the sarah jane adventures WERE actually made into stories for a fantastic show called “wizards vs aliens” specifically, “the thirteenth floor”

so perhaps rtd could be using the bare bones of “the battle of bannerman road” for the conclusion to the mystery of ruby sunday.

as i said, i went rather deranged with this one & it's probably going to be the greatest comeback for sutekh, who will probably turn out to be “the one who waits” possibly the head of the pantheon & the creator of ruby but my brain has decided to throw one more twist:

✨sutekh x the trickster✨

i'm kinda glad that this will all be over soon so i can be proved wrong & can enjoy a peaceful state of mind again, finally set free from my trickster theory 😅

[xetswan]

Unknown- Graduates

(Alice x Reader x Jasper)

[four] [five] [six]

I stood beside Jasper and Carlisle watching the news. Jasper's hand was on my side keeping me close to him.

"Police are baffled by the escalating murders and disappearances." The female reporter says to the camera. I leaned in closer to my boyfriend who was extremely concerned with what's going on. I knew why so I tried to comfort him in a subtle way. "Theories range from a vicious new gang to a wildly active serial killer. Reporting live, Dawn Chubai, CNN." She ends the report.

"It's getting worse. We're going to have to do something." Carlisle speaks after turning the tv off, facing the others.

"It takes more than one of our kind to cause the damage they're reporting. Quite a few more. They're undisciplined, conspicuous..." Jasper sighs, gripping me tired. I know he's thinking back to Maria.

"Newborns." Edward says aloud earning my sister's attention. "What, like new vampires?" She questions.

"In their first few months after the change." He says. "That's when we're at our most uncontrollable, vicious, insane with thirst." Jasper explains why it's so worrying. "Something to look forward to." Emmett picks at Bella.

"No one has trained these newborns, but this isn't random." My lover continues. "Someone's creating an army." Carlisle adds in, Jasper nods his head. Emmett smirks at this, getting excited. "Oh, now we're definitely going to Seattle." He says.

"An army of vampires?" Bella asks. "And they've been created to fight someone." Jasper sighs out.

"We're the only clan even close to Seattle." Edward points out to everyone. "Regardless of who they were. If we don't put a stop to them, the Volturi will. I'm surprised they've let it go on this long." Carlisle irritably tells us.

"Maybe they're behind it. In Italy. I read Aro's mind. He wants me and Alice to join him... Our gifts would shore up his power. Even [Name] would be a plus for him." Edward looks at me and I tense up, I feel Jasper try to calm my emotions. Greatly appreciated as I don't want to think about Aro and the rest of the Volturi I know would kill me if they had the chance.

"He knows we'd never choose him as long as our family is alive. An army could solve that for him."

I look over to my older sister who speaks up, "We can't wait two weeks for graduation; you need to change me now-"

"You'd be a liability as a newborn. Unable to control your instincts. An easy target." Jasper disagrees with Bella. "[Name] didn't go through that, though. What if I'm like her since I'm her sister." She points out but then Carlisle steps in and puts a hand on her shoulder.

"[Name] had the hybrid blood in her veins. She progressed so fast we knew she was different after the first three days. We don't know that for sure with you. Plus there's also your father to consider. And your mother. How terrible would it be for them if you suddenly disappeared?" He questions her, she knows she can't argue this, this time. Her shoulders slump in defeat.

"Hey did you eat dinner yet?" Bella asks Charlie, we walk into the kitchen after putting our stuff down at the table where he was reading a flier for a missing boy. "Um... no, I haven't." He answers. I watch Bella look over his shoulder, seeing the flier.

"This kid Riley Biers disappeared over a year ago and his poor parents have been papering Seattle with these things ever since." He expresses in a rough tone.

"You think they should just give up?" Bella looks at him, he glances between the both of us. "I wouldn't If it were either of you two. Not ever." He pulls us into a hug. After a small beat of silence he releases us. Taking a breath to cover up the fact that he was getting emotional over a case.

"So, one large, extra cheese?" He asks us, switching the subject. "And cheese bread. I know [Name]." He says before I even speak. I nod my head dramatically, kissing his cheek before I walk away, yelling a small thank you.

The next few days I've been getting ready for graduation. Actually doing my work.

Everything that happened this year the teachers were super lenient with me thinking I got major surgery.

I'm grateful for it. I know that technically I don't have to be worrying about this. I'm immortal. I'll be able to go to high school again and it will get easier and easier but this was my life at one point.

The only thing I'm sad about is the fact I had to give up my sports. I sigh, leaning back on my bed and closing my eyes after studying this bull crap.

I feel two dips in my bed and I open one eye to see Alice and Jasper looking over my homework.

"Gosh, this stuff is easy." Jasper hums out, putting the book back down. I open both eyes this time to glare at him. "You have years of practice, I don't want to hear it." I fold my arms, he snickers. Alice moves the stuff out of the way and climbs into my arms.

"We could always help you, you know." She offers, forcing me to put my arms around her. Now playing with my hand. Jasper sits on the other side of me. "You could but that feels like cheating." I lay my head on Jasper's shoulder.

"It would be but you'd also pass your tests faster." She sings quietly. I smile down at her, shaking my head.

"Not happening." I kiss the top of her head.

"Bella also told me that you two invited the wolves to the party." I bring up suddenly, she makes a noise I've never heard before and she shoots up from my arms.

"She begged me to do that. It was practically against my will." She rants, clearly upset by the decision she had to make to make my sister and her brother happy.

"I mean are they really that bad? The wolves?" I look at her, sort of looking back to Jasper. I knew he could tell what I was feeling. "What do you mean?" She tilts her head.

"I am a part of them, I can turn into one. I'm just worried that one day I'll change my mind and want to try out my wolf form and then you guys won't be happy with it. Or I don't know, it's childish but leave me I guess." I overly explain, feeling stupid once it comes out of my mouth. I avoid eye contact with Alice now.

Mentally cursing at myself.

"We'd still love you, [Name]. We love that you promised us to not turn but we'd never truly want to hold you back from what you wanted to do with your abilities and self-being." Alice grins at me, almost laughing, probably at how silly and stupid I sounded.

"Exactly, we've made some mistakes in the past with choosing things for you but we know that being a hybrid is something you didn't choose. Even being a vampire wasn't your choice." Jasper chimes in, pulling me into an embrace, forcing me into a lazy kiss. Alice then grabs my face and kisses me as well.

We weren't going to do anything else. My dad was in the other room. That also wasn't the only thing that stopped us. The three of us heard Jacob's truck pull up and one of the doors slam. Edward also pulled up.

We looked at each other. "Stay here." I tell them, rushing out of my room and outside.

"Not here, Edward. Please." Bella pleads with the vampire. "If you ever touch her against her will again." He points in Jacob's face but my sister is blocking him.

My eyebrows furrow hearing this. "Don't do this." Bella begs.

"She's not sure what she wants." Jacob stands straighter.

"Well, let me give you a clue. Wait for her to say the words." Edward holds onto Bella.

"Fine. And she will." Jacob glares at him. "Jacob. Just go, okay?" My sister tells the wolf. I get closer, they obviously don't know I was there, or they did and just didn't care. The two are practically facing off with one another.

The front door opens and Charlie gets down the steps. "Hey, hey, hey, hey... Easy guys. Let's take it down a notch. Alright? What's going on?" My dad questions the scene in front of him.

"I kissed Bella. And she broke her hand... Punching my face." Jacob explains. My eyes widen and I move without even realizing it.

Punching him in the jaw myself. Everyone gasps around me. Jacob actually holds his face as I look at him in disgust.

"The audacity you fucking have is astounding Jacob. " I shove him back to his truck. Not enough to show off a supernatural strength but the anger I feel of him just doing that to Bella without her consent sickens me.

After he leaves I turn back to the house. Bella was hiding her face into Edwards chest who was trying not to laugh. My dad looked shocked.

I sigh, shrugging my shoulders. "Carlisle should check that out, Bella." I point to her, Edward nods in agreement.

"Total misunderstanding, it's just a sprain. Should heal fairly quickly." The doctor of the family tells my sister. "Trying to walk and chew gum at the same time again, Bella?" Emmett teases her since she's so clumsy and practically known for it by everybody now.

"I punched a werewolf in the face." She corrects him. "Bad ass... You're going to be one tough little newborn." He grins.

"Tough enough to take you on." Bella smirks, Emmett goes to laugh but Rosalie slaps down the newspaper she was holding and storms out. Scowling towards Bella.

"Don't worry about it." Emmett shrugs it off.

"Okay, any leads?" Edward questions, switching the attention to something more dire.

"No sign of the intruder. But Victoria continues to make appearances." Jasper says. "But it seems to be only when [Name] isn't with any of us." He adds.

"She's toying with us. Keeping us distracted." Carlisle tells us.

"From Seattle?" Emmett tilts his head. "The intruder or something else." I speak up. "Alice can keep tracking her decisions but we have to track her on the ground." Edward says.

"We're having Alice watch a lot, I think I should take over some." I tell them. Jasper rubs my side as they look at me.

"I mean it has to be a lot for her. She hasn't said anything but Jesus, Aro, Charlie, Bella, and Victoria is a lot of information to cover and watch." I stand up for my girlfriend.

"Taking her energy is better?" Edward asks me. "I don't have to take her energy to take over her power." I cross my arms.

"[Name] your power lasts ten minutes, how would you be able to watch anyone?" Carlisle quizzes, not in a condescending way but genuinely just wanting to know.

I pause, glancing over at Jasper who nods his head for me to continue. "I've been practicing, Jasper has been helping me because I've spoken to him about it. I can do it for days now. And now I can basically copy your power without fully taking it. It's a lot but I can do it." I explain, begging for them to see my point in taking over for Alice.

At least taking over to watch over Charlie and Aro. Edward and Carlisle look at each other. "You need to make sure Alice is okay with it. You're also right, we didn't realize how much we put on her to watch." The father figure of the Cullen's tells me with a weak smile.

I let out a satisfied breath, squeezing onto Jasper without even realizing it.

"What ground have we covered?" Edward changes the subject once again.

"We've already covered the entire southern peninsula down to Quinault." Jasper answers.

"We'll search the northwestern trail." Edward says to Carlisle and Emmett. I didn't even notice that my sister left the room and was talking to Rosalie.

I looked out on the deck. I heard bits of their conversation so I tried to focus elsewhere. Already knowing Rosalie's tragic background I didn't want to eavesdrop on it.

Jasper kisses my jaw, I turn to him and he smiles. His dimple formed causing me to melt. It was one of my favorite features of his. We sat there in silence after everyone had left the living room. It was comfortable, finally having a moment away from all the hectic stuff.

Knowing it wasn't going to last much longer.

"When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up..." Jessica talks to the students of Forks high school, plus the teachers and families that joined.

"Our answers were things like astronaut, president, or in my case, princess." She smiles from her own words. I lean onto my older sister listening to Jessica's speech,

"When we were ten, they asked again and we answered rock star, cowboy or in my case, gold medalist. But now that we've grown up, they want a serious answer. Well, how about this: who the hell knows?!" She giggles as people holler from the audience.

Bella's shoulders were tense, I took her hand in mine when I noticed and she gave me a small smile.

"This isn't the time to make hard and fast decisions, it's the time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere chilly. Fall in love- a lot.Major in philosophy because there's no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind. Then change it again, because nothing is permanent..." Jessica continues to do her speech, the words hit in ways I know as a human would be special.

Goosebumps would've crawled all over my skin but knowing that in a few decades everyone around me will be gone as I stand here. Never growing old it just doesn't feel the same. Knowing that my sister beside me has the choice to stay human I just wish she would.

But I also know she wants to be with her love. I couldn't stop her from that.

"I'm so proud of you two girls, I can't wait to see what you both do next. You're my biggest accomplishments." He has us on either side, arm wrapped on each daughter.

"Dad, that's not true." Bella disagrees.

"Yeah, it is. And it's.. well you'll see when you have kids." He shrugs it off. I frown knowing that Bella nor I will be giving him grandchildren.

At the Cullen house I stand with Bella. Jasper, Carlisle Emmett and Edward are in a deep conversation about what's going on with Seattle. My sister begins to walk over there but Jessica and Angela swoop in and grab us. Taking us the opposite way.

"You both made it." Angela grins. "Well, I am the girlfriend of the girl who's hosting." I point out, Angela laughs nodding. "Right, sorry."

"Hey. What'd you think of my speech? Too easy-breezy, too self-helpful? You may admit it." Jessica questions mainly to Bella.

"No, you pretty much nailed it." My sister shakes her head. "Yeah? It's like I was born to lead, right?" Jessica grins, proud of herself.

"Oh, great. I love this song, let's go." Angela pulls us to the dance floor where Eric and Mike join us. They do a stupid robot dance battle as the girls laugh.

I just stay beside Angela, both of us jumping and doing basic moves. I noticed Bella leave when Jacob came into the house. I didn't have to look because his smell is so distinct.

I think Angela saw I was a little distracted so she grabbed my hands and had us face each other. Forcing me to follow her lead.

The lighting was a little darker now and it was as if all I could see was her. "You're a good dancer!" She says over the music.

"I'm barely trying, you're keeping me going!" I laugh. I quickly fixed the wife beater I was wearing.

Alice dressed me in a dressy suit earlier and the jacket was too tight since she got it fitted before I turned into a hybrid. I still wore the dress pants though.

"Nonsense! I feel like you're leading me!" She huffs out, I saw her eyes trail to my arms and I snicker to myself, reminding me of Alice.

"You give me too much credit." I shake my head, starting to feel sweat drip down my forehead.

Going into the next song, Jessica joins in causing Mike and Eric to do the same. Angela sticks beside me though. That was until I got dragged away abruptly.

"Oh!- I'll be back!" I say once I realize that it's Alice. "She might not." My girlfriend disagrees. I furrow my eyebrows now worried that something happened.

We go by the staircase, Jasper already standing there. "What's going on? Everything okay?" I worriedly asked. Jasper was laughing but Alice looked a little angry?

"Babe?" I look down at her, she now had her arms crossed in front of her. "Am I missing something? Did I do something?" I question, confused by why she would be mad. Jasper went to speak up but Alice groaned.

"Your little friend was all over you, [Name]. God how could you not see that?" She asks me in an irritated tone. I tilt my head. "I mean we were just dancing..." I fail to agree with her.

"Are you that oblivious?" She scrunches her face in disbelief. "Why are you jealous, my love?" I ask her, pulling her into my arms.

"I'm not jealous, she was just eyeing something that's mine." Alice avoids eye contact with me as I hold her hips. "Mhm, I didn't know I was property." I chuckle lowly.

I see Alice look over on the dance floor then grab my face and kiss me. It surprised me but I kissed her back. When she let me go I looked over to where she was and Angela quickly looked away.

I shake my head laughing. "I've never seen you jealous before." I try to calm my laughter. Jasper doing the same thing.

The only thing that did was when Alice grew frozen and was having  vision. I held onto her. I heard Bella behind me just as Alice came out of it.

"Alice, what did you see?" My sister asks.

"Okay, something is going on. Tell me." Jacob says. Bella got in between Alice and I. I stand beside Jasper.

Watching Jacob intently. I haven't seen him since I punched him in the jaw, something that already healed.

"I need to talk to Jasper and [Name]." She quietly says but then Jacob puts an arm against the wall, blocking her from getting to us.

"Why don't you talk to me?" The wolf angrily asks.

Both Jasper and I get in front of him.

"I suggest you remove your arm. Before I do." Jasper says, we glare at him. He makes the smart decision and backs away from our girlfriend.

"The decision's been made." Alice speaks.

"What's going on? You're not going to Seattle?" Bella quizzes.

"No, they're coming here." Alice looks up to Jasper and I.

Our faces drop.

Masterlist

A&J M.L

Taglist: if you want to be added lmk!

@stevenandmarcslove

@steh-lar-uh-nuhs

@l3ejm

@kisekihany

@aureliacorvina

@marit332

@marsyay78

@small-town-wayward-daughter

@sugathy

@tallrock35

@azazel-nyx

@silas-aeiou

[niyana-the-ambiguous-mobian]

New Story time!

This one is dedicated to the ever so talented @cosmoshard, who made the rough sketch that inspired this piece in the first place,

also, this serves as some semi-revenge on her for making me cry on my birthday XD

This time, the story is focused the ARK siblings themselves, Shadow and Maria!

=========================================

“Are you almost done yet grandpa?” Maria impatiently rocked back and forth on her feet, earning a light wack on her head from a piece of paper. “Hey!”

“Hold still, Maria! Your back needs to be straight and still.” Gerald exclaimed, the marker he was holding nearly creating a mark on top of Maria’s head, taking a moment trying to rub the stain from her hair with his fingers.

Maria made a face at Gerald, moving her head away from his hands. “I am holding still, grandpa! I’m trying to make sure I’m getting taller!”

“Well, you’re not making it easier with you doing all this fidgeting.” He placed his hands and her shoulders to keep her still. “Now just keep still. And don’t stand on your toes either.”

The girl fought the urge to roll her eyes as her grandfather finally made a mark on the wall, drawing a straight line while she backed away, bouncing on her feet. “Ok, you’re all done.”

She looked among marks and lines from previous measuring sessions, seeing that the current one was hovering above the previous line.

She let out a gasp and started jumping up and down. “I grew! I got taller, grandpa! See, look at it!”

”Yes, yes I see it.” He gave a pat to her head, taking notes on his clipboard. He walked over to his desk with Maria following close behind him.

She moved in front of him while he continued to write. “I can’t believe the new line you drew was higher this time! How tall am I now?”

Gerald paused and lifted up one of the papers to read it. “Well, according to the results, you’ve grown…” He stopped mid sentence, a look of surprise. “Oh my, this is odd.”

Maria stopped her joyful skipping, sensing his change in tone. “What, what is it?”

”It says here that your height from this month is less than it was last month.” He hung his head down, sighing dramatically and placing a hand on her shoulder. “I’m afraid that you're shrinking, my dear.”

His granddaughter’s face went from worried to annoyed in a second flat, pushing his hand away and rolling her eyes. “Grandpa….”

The man chuckled at her unamused expression. “I’m only teasing, you’ve grown about a total of 6 inches from last month. You’re about 4’3 now. Almost getting to 5 feet already.”

Maria’s face lit up and did a celebratory dance with some spinning involved, nearly bumping into Gerald in the process and tripping over her feet. He quickly caught her before she fell over, slinging an arm around her and pulling her close to his side.

”My goodness, I’ve never seen you so excited about something like this before, may I ask why?”

Wrapping her arms around him, she raised her head with a wide smile on her face. “Because! It’s the first time I’ve gotten this tall in awhile. You always told me that healthy kids grow big and tall whenever they eat their veggies and get enough sleep, it’s finally working for me!”

The smile on Gerald’s face faltered when she finished by hugging him tighter. Bless this child for keeping her hope high with a statement like this.

He always told her when she was younger that those things were important to do, eating as much healthy food to keep her immune system from failing, getting enough sleep so her body can get its rest, even those times where he told her not to tell lies otherwise her nose would grow long each time she did.

It made him grateful knowing that these little things were making a difference for her in her lonely life up here in the colony, even though it felt like it was wrong giving her such high expectations for her condition, since there was no cure for it but making her think that something like this is actually helping her illness when in reality it would barely make a dent in it overall broke his heart even more.

He forced a smile on his face and squeezed her back. “You're very right on that. I told you it would work out eventually.”

Maria beamed a wide smile, skipping towards the door. “Where are you heading off to?” Gerald called after her, making her nearly slip on the floor when she slowed herself down.

“I'm going tell him about it!”

“Who?”

“Shadow! He's been wondering if I was getting better, I gotta go and tell him before he gets worried!” She ran out of the room as soon as she finished, her pigtailed hair flying out wildly behind her as she disappeared before the doors even closed.

Gerald stood there in ear numbing silence, his hands clenched up into fists as those last words lasting through his ears like a forever frozen echo.

‘Wondering if I was getting better’....

A grim expression masked over his face. “Oh my child, if only it were as simple as that for you.”

Read the rest on Ao3!

[canirove]

Friends, lovers… and an orange | Chapter 4

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

"It was so weird, mum... Like, the moment I mentioned his agency, he went all serious and then avoided my question. And before that, he didn't smile like he usually does."

"Since when do you pay attention to the way Mason smiles?" Elizabeth chuckled.

"That's a really good question" Adele thought. "Anyway, do you think... Could an agency do that? Call the paps on one of their clients as some kind of revenge?"

After the chaos at the airport, she and Mason had talked about who could have tipped off the photographers. The only people who knew they were flying that day were their brothers, Jourdan and his agency, and the first three would never say anything. The others... 

"That's too twisted" Elizabeth said. "But I know they've called them without letting their client know because it made the photos look more natural, like actual candids."

"Did that ever happen to you and dad?"

"Never. We were stalked, followed everywhere, harassed... But my agency always protected me."

Adele's parents hadn't had it easy. Her father was the heir of a very important family in the US and was considered one of the most eligible bachelors in the country, and when the press had found out that they were dating, they had gone crazy. Both had been followed everywhere they went, their faces being on all the magazines. The supermodel and the heir, most headlines would say. And his family didn't like it. 

They considered Elizabeth not enough for their son, and had done everything in their power to make them break up. When they got engaged after years of dating, his family hadn't met her yet, and when Adele's dad took Elizabeth's last name instead of being the other way around, they even threatened him with disinheriting him. But they fought for their love despite everything and everyone, and they still were together, happier than ever.   

"So you don't think Mason's agency could have done it?" 

"I don't, no" Elizabeth said. "But less talking about pretty boys and annoying paparazzis, and more about this!" she said, gesturing towards their car's window.

Between Jourdan, Mason and her mum constantly sending her photos of their old trips together, Adele had finally said yes to going to Paris. She would be joining her backstage at the couple of shows she was walking, attending one as a guest with her, and a couple of parties too. Would she end up regretting it? Probably. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"I am so glad you accepted our invitation, Adele" said Maria Grazia Chiuri, Dior's creative director, when she met them for their fitting. 

"Thank you for inviting me" she smiled.

"I myself have picked some looks for you that I think will be perfect."

"Oh, wow. That's so kind."

"Anything for you, girls."

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Red or black?" Elizabeth asked while looking at herself in the mirror.

"Black" Adele and Maria Grazia said at the same time. 

"Black it is."

"Adele, now that I have you here, I have to ask again. Are you sure you wouldn't like to join your mum for our mother's day campaign? It would be just a one time thing."

"I'm sorry, Maria Grazia. But being in front of the camera isn't my thing."

"Then what about behind the camera?"

"What?" Adele said.

"Oh, that's an amazing idea! You could take my photos!" Elizabeth said while getting changed.

"Mum, I'm not a professional photographer. There are better people for that than me."

"It wouldn't be as special, tho. And a daughter taking photos of her mother would also work for our campaign" Maria Grazia said.

"I don't think it is a good idea. What would the photographer you hired say?"

"If I explain it to him, he'll understand. Why don't I ask someone from my team to send you the mood board for the campaign so you can get an idea of what we want?"

"And Addie could send your photographer some of her photos so you know what she can do" Elizabeth added.

"Perfect!" Maria Grazia said, not allowing Adele to protest.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"I think someone fancies you."

"What?" Adele said. She and Elizabeth had been in Paris for a few days already, everything going pretty well keeping in mind what had been going on back home and in New York. Paparazzis bothered them the usual during fashion week, and all the headlines were about her and her mum, their outfits, and how much they were loving that they were finally doing fashion stuff together.

That night, they were attending a Vogue party where they were joined by people she only saw on Instagram. Models, musicians, actors... Even a couple of football players too. 

"That cute guy over there" Elizabeth said, nodding towards her left. "He can't stop looking at you."

"Who... What..." she said, slowly turning around to look at him. When they eyes met, he smiled at her, and Adele heard herself giggling. He had a dimple on his left cheek, just like Mason did. Mason...

"Go talk to him."

"What?"

"C'mon" her mum said, pushing her towards him.

"But I don't know who he is.”

"An actor from one of those superhero movies. Now go."

"But..."

"Hello there" the cute guy said, his dimple showing in all its glory once again.

"Hi."

"You are Adele Turlington, right?"

"Yep. And you are... Sorry, I'm really bad with names" she smiled, hoping her lie would work.

"Nico Evans."

"Nico, yes, of course! I was thinking about your character's name and I didn't want to say something stupid."

"Nah, it's ok. I'm used to it" he smiled again. God, he was cute. "Would you like to grab a drink?"

"I would love that." 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"What time is it?" Adele yawned.

"Too early. Go back to sleep" Nico whispered.

"Then why are you leaving?"

"Because I am attending a show in an hour, and I haven't showered or got changed" he chuckled.

"Oh..."

"Would you like to meet again?" Nico said after finishing tying up his shoes. "Maybe for lunch? I'm leaving tonight."

"I... I can't. My mum and I are meeting some friends of hers that we haven't seen in ages and..."

"Oh, it's ok. Don't worry" Nico smiled, that dimple he shared with Mason showing up again. Why was she thinking about him again? "Maybe another time."

"Yeah, maybe."

"Thank you for last night, Adele. That was... That was amazing. Definitely a highlight of my fashion week" he smirked.

"You're welcome" she giggled, feeling her cheeks get warm.

"Good bye, Miss Turlington. See you soon" he said, giving her a peck.

"Good bye, Mr. Evans" she replied.

[robinismywifee]

straight girl || e. williams

pairings ellie williams x fem!oc/reader

summary maria sends a straight girl with a boyfriend and ellie williams, a gay girl with a girlfriend, to go on a trip together but an unexpected storm traps them in a cabin. takes place in jackson, one bed trope? 19 y/o ellie, no spoilers, 3rd person pov, ellie has a crush on oc

warnings NSFW, fingering (r. receiving), scissoring?, pet names (babe, good girl), cheating, slight masturbation??

a/n be aware that aime is an oc and dont feel insecure or anything if she looks nothing like you, youre literally beautiful trust me, also you can always find my oneshots on my wattpad, also feel free to request stories 💕

wordcount 5.8k

ellie has always felt different towards aime. ever since she was 14, right when she first layed her eyes on her, she never took them off.

how she always walked around with a hudge smile on her face, her smile was so perfect, and her uneven white teeth only made it more perfect

when they first met, she had a soft pitch voice, and had soft features, making her face look so innocent and adorable, but as the years went on, her voice got deeper and more raspy, making her more captivating and euphonic, she still had softer features, but they almost shifted in a way to make her more elegant

along with her face and voice changing over the years, ellie noticed her body changed too, she grew more curves, her stomach always layed flat but her breasts were full, and from what you could see when she wore her laced tanktops she loved, they sat perfectly too..

something about her and her sandy blonde hair was just so alluring to ellie.

ellie wouldnt say she had a crush on her, the only time they would talk was during patrol, exchanging simple words and short sentences, or if they walked by, aime would make sure to smile at her and wave, but they never failed to make ellies mind freak out—

am i talking too much? is my hair okay? shit she looks so fucking hot. how do i make her laugh without making it seem like im trying too hard? what? did she just complement me? holy shit i think im gonna pass out. how can someone look so goddamn hot while doing literally anything?

—are typical things ellies mind would be yelling.

aime was well known around jackson, well known for being pretty, nice, happy, and hardworking

her looks never failed to amaze people, practically all the teenagers of jackson has asked her out, and she was really nice, if she knew your name and if you werent rude to her or other people (who dont deserve it), she would make sure to smile at you walking by, which is why anytime she saw ellie, she would give a warm smile, she also liked complimenting people, seeing there faces brighten up from a simple comment made her face brighten up, and all her compliments were always genuine, she would never lie and say she liked a shirt on someone if she didnt, which is also why she would compliment ellie, ellie was easy to compliment, she was so beautiful and nobody talked about her enough- plus ellies reaction everytime made aimes face yank a big smile, ellie would always get blushed cheeks and flustered

aime only ever did hard and dangerous work, she did patrols a lot, keeping the bad away from her people, and she was talented on trips, if for any reason she got kicked out of jackson, she would survive. she had great agility, knowledge, it wasnt her thing but she knew how to track and hunt, she scavenged better then others, she wasnt the strongest, but she definitely knew how to win a fight, usuing her smaller size to her advantage. she was smart, and she was genuinely a happy person.

"i know aime is like, really good with trips, ive gone on them with her before, but just the two of us? i mean seriously?" ellie complained to dina, "i don't get why your angry, shes a nice girl and shes a good person to go on a trip with" dina shurgged, dina and aime were actually good friends, not close per say, but they hung out when they could, if aime didnt constantly drown herself in work she would have more time for friends and dina, but for the past two months it was either work or daniel

ellie stayed silence at dinas remark, so dina continued, "you know.. before her and daniel started dating, you liked her, always coming home from those patrols ranting to me about how she complimented you and was super hot as she killed an infected, but now that shes dating him you hate her? why?"

this caused ellie to stop packing her bag and look up to dina, "dina, her dating some random guy i dont know has nothing to do with this! i just dont want to go on a whole ass trip alone with her, its gonna be awkward!" ellie defended, but they both knew that wasnt why ellie was so mad, "the trip youve known about for 2 days? really? thats weird, considering you've been mad and annoyed at her for the past 2 months"

"its just- you and her use to go on those 'friend dates' or whatever you weirdos call it, like every month, and now that she has a boyfriend she cant make room for you? or any other of her friends? like, if you walk by her, shes with her stupid boyfriend, holding hands and giggling like, what can he say to make you laugh like that? probably some stupid joke that isnt even funny, i dont even get why she likes him, hes ugly with his ugly hair and he's completely useless, he does nothing and he probably isnt even dating her for her!" ellie ranted, throwing things into her bag for the trip

dina laughed.

ellies head shot up to her, "what? why are you laughing? you asked!" ellie said frustrated, "you're totally jealous, arent you?" dina smirked, "what? jealous? dina shut up! you know im dating cat!" ellie said, growing more and more frustrated by the minute

"okay yeah, but you have liked aime for wayyyy longer then cat" dina remarked, "i dont like aime! i just think shes hot, and literally everyone else with eyes thinks that so shut it" ellie groaned, zipping her bag and running out of her door, dina laughed some more, "wait up!" she said through her laughs

-

the sound of the horses feet clacking on the ground filled the empty forest.

"so howd you sleep?" aime asked, trying to spark a conversation. they had just left, and it was awkward between the two. ellie had been avoiding aime- for the past 2 months- changing patrol partners and running behind corners when she saw her to prevent that spark she felt in her stomach when she smiled at her

"fine" ellie mumbled, "oh, well, better then bad" aime remarked, "mhm" ellie hummed dryly, they rode their horses side by side in silence for a little, "i havent spoken to you in awhile, how's your life been?" aime asked, looking over to the girl, "the same" ellie said, looking down at the horses mane, aime looked away from ellie, down to her horses mane, trying to think of ways to get her ranting like how she use to to her

"can you tell me more about astronomy?" aime asked, thinking back to how she told her about it a few months ago, "uh.. why?" ellie said blankly, "sorry.. just thought you liked that stuff, and its fun to talk about stuff you like, you know?" aime explained, cheeks red embarrassed

aime was confused of why ellie was acting so different from usual, usually ellie would be cracking jokes and puns, telling funny stories, ranting about things she liked.. and ellie did seem to disappear for awhile, did she do something wrong? i mean, ellie wasnt even looking at her, it wasnt weird for ellie to avoid eye contact, she actually did that alot, but she wouldnt even glance in her direction.

while aime was trying to figure it out, ellies mind kept on repeating over and over and over again, aime and daniel stupid kissing and 'i love yous' right before they left.

"hey ellie" aime said, first time speaking in at least 2 hours, "hm?" ellie hummed, "did i do something wrong? because im really sorry if i did, but could you tell what it is that i did? i would never do anything wrong to hurt you on purpose, ever, in my whole life, and i sorta just spent however long we've been out trying to figure it out and i cant" aime ranted, which was sorta out of charater for aime, and aime apologizing for something that isnt her fault made ellie finally look over at her with sad eyes

it wasnt aimes fault that she felt like this, it was her own fault for letting something so small get to her, and she just wasted hours of aimes time for her to try and figure it out. thats what ellie though, and it made her feel like shit.

aime was suprised ellie was looking at her, and confused of ellies emotion displayed on her face- it looked like guilt.

"you didn't do anything aime, dont be sorry, im just tired" ellie said to her, hoping aime would believe she was just tired, but aime didnt believe that it was that, somethings going on

-

"hey, theres the cabin tommy was talking about, like a few miles up ahead, should we take a rest and eat there?" aime asked ellie, looking down at the map unfolded out infront of her while still riding the horse

"yeah, its getting dark" ellie agreed with her, looking up at the clouded sky, it was pretty sunny yesterday, this morning it was partly cloudy, and now all you could see were clouds, aime didnt think too much about it since last she checked they were bright white ones, but as she watched ellie looking up at the sky she did too, now noticing the clouds turning grey

"you think it will start raining before we get there?" aime asked, folding the map away and sliding it in her pocket, "i dunno.. im more worried about how long its gonna last, if you look more east the clouds are really dark, it might be a bad storm and we would have to wait it out" ellie explained her thoughts

"true.. but atleast we're gonna have shelter, could you imagine how bad it would be if we weren't by the cabin?" aime smiled, trying to brighten ellies mood, "yea, that would suck" ellie scoffed, aime, smiled a little bit more, happy that ellie gave more emotion instead of blankly humming as a response

"so the cabins just east?" ellie asked, looking over at aime for an answer, aime still smiling, now smiling because ellie was actually looking at her, maybe she was just tired.

"yeah, no sharp turns or anything i dont think, as long as we keep going straight it'll come into view" aime nodded, "perfect.. straight towards the storm" ellie mumbled, "it probably wont be that bad, ellie" aime tried to reason, but ellie was caught off guard by aime using her name

"y- yeah.." she stuttered

-

ellie and aime pushed the bookshelf infront of the front door of the cabin, their clothes dripping wet, the thunderstorm whistling and lighting jumping, the sound of rain dropplets slamming against the windows

"shit" ellie panted, "its way worse then i thought it'd be" she said, catching her breath, "yea.. its pretty bad" aime agreed, also out of breath, the rain had started about half a mile before they got to the cabin, and when it was in view it started pouring, then it get even worse with hard rain and loud thunder, they had to run and tie up their horsed in a shed, and run into the cabin as fast as they could to prevent getting even more wet, but here they stood, soaked

ellie looked at amie confused, "what? do i look bad with wet hair?" aime asked, pushing the hair that stuck to her face behind her ears, suddenly feeling insecure under ellies gaze

"bad? no you can never look bad, i just didnt exepct you to agree on me with that instead of trying to convince me happy things" ellie explained to the girl, aime smiled at ellies compliment, which ellie didnt even realize she gave

ellie turned her head to look around the cabin, she immediately spotted a mirror, she walked over to it, taking out her tangled bun, pushing her hair behind her ears and started messing with her bangs

aime watched her doing it, if i was a guy id have the biggest crush on her, aime though, walking over to her, standing shoulder to shoulder, ellie stopped fiddling with her hair and started fiddling with her hands looking down

"you're really pretty ellie, cats lucky to date you" aime smiled looking to her, ellies head stayed down, but aime noticed a blush creep onto ellies face

ellie felt like she could collapse at her calling her pretty and using her name, but the though of cat made guilt consume her. how can she date someone but think about anyother person way more? or how can she get crazy butterflies in her stomach when some random girl calls her pretty but doesnt really feel anything when her own girlfriend does?

ellie did like cat, she did, but ellie was starting to think she didnt really like her. she was fun to be around and she made her smile, she also liked how cat didnt care what others thought of their relationship, but everytime her and cat would go by aime, ellie would always pull away from cat, untangling her hands from her, putting them in her pocket or pretending to scrach her arm until aime was out of view.

"did you bring any extra clothes?" aimes voice snapped ellies thoughts away, "uh.." ellie looked up at her, "i dont think i have any pants since they would fit in my bag but everything else yea" ellie thought, "i think i only have a tanktop and boxer breifs" aime mumbled, taking her bag off her shoulders and turning around-

she was too focused on watching ellie she didnt even have time to look around, and ellie was too focused on making herself look presentable to look around

ellie turned around too, the cabin was really small, they already knew that from the outside but it seemed smaller on the inside

there was one big bed, queen size maybe, a small kitchen and a two person dinner table, a big carpet, and a fireplace, there was also a door by the kicthen, probably the bathroom

okay, good, theres a comfy bed for us, aime thought, before walking over to the kicthen, setting her bag on the counter before opening ir and pulling out her clothes. she didnt mind sharing a bed at all, she shared beds with whe friends all the time, even with twin sized ones, it wasnt weird

ellie stood there with widened eyes, the thought of sharing a bed with her made her feel warm, but she shook her head and walked by aime, setting her bag down next to her and looking for her clothes

while ellie was trying to find her socks, she saw in the corner of her eye, aime slipping off her jacket, which was whatever, but then she pulled off her shirt and reached for the buttons of her pants, ellies face went red, she tried to focuse herself on finding the socks in her bag, but her peripheral vision wasn't allowing it, so she mindlessly shuffled through her bag making it seem like she didnt notice

but aime knew ellie noticed her changing, aime watched her face go pink as she slipped off her pants, she smiled to herself, shes so cute, if i was a guy i'd have the biggest crush on her, aime thought to herself

"you finding your clothes okay?" aime teased, ellie felt her face get even hotter, shit shes so hot- "u- uh, yea, just fine" ellie stuttered, moving her back so aime wasnt in her peripheral vision anymore so she could actually focus on finding them

aime got completely nude, as the rain had soaked through her clothes and her underwear and bra were soaked, slipping on white boxer breifs and a white V cut tanktop, her bag was really full and these were the only clothes she could fit as they were thin and tiny

aime walked over to the fireplace, sitting infront of it. once ellie had her clothes layed out, on the counter, she peeked her head thinking aime was still behind her, but she wasnt, so ellie looked over her other shoulder to see her on her knees trying to started a fire, ellie watched as her damp hair dripped down her back, going through her thin white too and down to her shorts, ellie couldnt help but stare at her ass.

aime felt eyes on her, she peeked her head over her shoulder to see ellie immediately moving her head away from her, aime smilied to herseld before going back to the fire

ellie turned her back to face aime, before getting undressed, placing her heavy wet clothes next to aimes, as ellie got changed, she stared at aimes light pink laced bra that layed on the counter, she started to get butterflies as she pictured what aime would look like in it, she shook her head feeling grossed out by herself and turned around now clothed

aime heard ellie walk over to the now lit fire, she moved her head to look up at ellie, aime didnt know it but her face went a shade of pink seeing ellie in a thick strapped white tanktop, it was tight but long, covering half her underwear- her underwear being greyish purple and sort of boxer breifs like aimes exepct hers were a lot shorter.

as ellie sat down next to aime, aime pulled out two cans of chef boyardiee ravioli, she passed ellie a can along with plastic forks, the only noises being heard was the fire crackling and the heavy rain- followed by thunder almost every minute

"so how are you and cat?" aime asked, eating the now warmed ravioli, ellie stayed quiet for a minute, "we're good" ellie shortly replied, aime nodded, "i really like the tattoo she gave you, you look super good with it" aime smiled, making eye contact with her

ellie got red from that (again) "so.. uhm.. how are you and daniel" ellie asked, trying to return the question, but her voice came out bitter, aime didnt realize ellies tone, now stuck in thought if her boyfriend she didnt like, aime shrugged, "i dont know"

ellies eyebrows scrunched, "what do you mean you dont know?" she asked her, watching aime as she stared into the fire, trying to stop her eyes from going down to her cleavage, "uh, its nothing, i do like him but hes just very needy and- touchy" aime tried to explain without outting herself for not liking him at all

"how so?" ellie asked, now invested, she thought they had the perfect relationship, "he basically moved in with me without asking, he complains that i work too much, and like.. he always tries to get me to do it with him, but i don't want to yet" aime said, she whished she wanted to, but everytime he would touch her she just would squirm away and would feel gross

ellie was dumbfounded, "wait? you guys havent done it yet?" she really thought they did it like every night, aime shook her head, "have you and cat?" aime asked, placing the empty can to the side, "maybe" ellie simply replied, aime nodded, "i figured" she said, taking a sip of water

"whats that supposed to mean?" ellie asked, "like every couple of jackson does it im the only one" she shrugged, ellie sipped water, "well, you and kaleb definitely did it" ellie almost mumbled, "what? no we didnt?" aime asked confused, kaleb was her ex boyfriend, they were together for about a year and half, before she found out kaleb had been cheating on her for almost a year.

"uh, you guys were together for over a year" ellie said, confused, "yea, i know, thats why he started doing it with other girls behind my back" aime replied, "he what?" ellie raised her voicd, growing angry at him, even though it was years ago when they broke up, the reason the broke up kaleb and amie told people they both just lost feelings

"oh shit- i didnt mean to say that, ellie please dont tell anyone, please-"

"i wont, but what the fuck?" ellie questioned, "next time i see him hes gonna kiss my fist" ellie said angry, "ellie! its not a big deal and it was years ago, who cares?" aime asked confused of why ellie randomly got mad

"who cares? you dont date someone and go fuck other people because they werent ready for it!"

"no, trust me ellie, its fine, i didnt even really care when i found out, i didnt really like him" aime shrugged, "huh? whyd you date him?" ellie asked, "i- im done talking about this" aime said, unsure of how to reply

they were silent for a few minutes, just staring into the fire- well aime was, and she thought ellie was too, but ellie was staring at her

ellies eyes trailed from aimes eyes, to her nose, to her soft plumpled lips, to her slightly wet neck, almost dry from the rain, to her full chest, to her damp white shirt, her shirt was damp enough that you could see her shape and her nipples from her not wearing a bra, ellies eyes trailed even ferther to aimes bottoms, flickering back to her breasts. her mouth began to water, she thought about what her lips would taste like, what her skin would taste like, how perfectcly her hands would cup her breasts, how her pussy would taste- ellie tried to stop her thoughts but shes been holding them back for too long now, and they kept pouring into her head, ellie wondered what her face would look like, what noises would come out, she thought about her screaming her named-

ellie felt herself grow wet, she couldnt stop it, "im gonna go to the bathroom" ellie mumbled, standing up and walking to the door in the kitchen, she entered the bathroom, it was small, just a toilet, a sink, and a standing shower

ellie locked the door and sat on the toilet cover, she felt butterflies in her stomach, thinking of how aime would look riding her, how her wavy hair would drape over her naked body, ellie pressed her theighs together, "shit" she whispered, allowing her hand to go to her underwear.

"hey" aime smiled, ellie was bright red, i cant believe i just fucking did that, ellie thought to herself, slapping herself in her mind for doing that to not only cat but to aime

"hi" ellie said, standing up looking down at aime who still sat on the ground, "we should probably get to bed?" aime questioned, ellie looked back at the bed, shit i forgot theres only one bed, "uh- yea, probably" ellie nodded, "you okay?" aime asked, "yeah why?" ellie quickly said back, "you just seem, flustered? i don't really know"

aime put out the fire, the moonlight lighting the cabin, and held out her hand for ellie to help pull her up, which ellie did, once aime was up, she didnt let go of ellies hand, she smiled looking up at her, "can i ask a personal question?" aime randomly asked, still holding ellies hand, "uh, sure?" ellie said confused, "how many people have you.. done it with?" aime asked, hoping it wasn't too weird, but they were both 19 so aime wanted to compare their numbers.

"only cat" ellie answered, aime nodded, looked down to her feet, "how many have you?" ellie asked, "uh.." aime hummed, "im not like- gonna judge you or anything" ellie tried to comfort her, which it worked, "none" aime mumbled, "none?" ellie asked, making sure she heard it right, aime nodded, "oh" ellie said, which caused aime to look up at her, "i didnt mean that to sound like i was judging or- something- i meant oh as in just like that i was suprised" ellie corrected

aime laughed, "its okay, you can judge, ive had three boyfriends, im 19, and still a virgin"

"three?" ellie asked confused, she only knew of two, "oh, yeah, it was before you came to jackson" she shortly explained, "who? do i know them?" ellie asked, "uh.. lucas, but it was only like for 4 months and we were 13 so it doesnt actually really count" aime explained, which caused ellie to laugh

"well why havent you?" ellie questioned, "just dont want to, anytime the touch me i feel gross" aime shrugged like it was normal, "uh.. okay?" ellie said confused, "and if im being honest.. dicks are disgusting" aime whispered, which caused ellie to laugh again, "what? first of all, ive never heard a straight girl say that, second of all, did you just swear?!"

aime laughed, "oh shut up! everybody thinks theyre gross they just dont say it!" aime dragged ellie behind her as she made her way to the bed, ellie giggled as she crawled into the bed with her

"i should of brought a blanket" aime mumbled, the bed only has a sheet and two pillows, the blanket was nowhere to be seen

"yeah? how would you have brought that" ellie questioned, "uhh.. i would of figured it out!" aime said with a smile, they were both of their sides facing eachother, "yeah right" ellie laughed

ellie kept on flickering her eyes to how pretty her body looked, she needed to stop she moved and layed on her back

it was silent for awhile, ellie thought aime went to sleep and aime didnt know if ellie was awake or not, "ellie?" aime whispered, the rain still pouring, ellie turned her head and looked at aime, suprised she was awake, "yeah?" ellie asked, "im cold" aime said, her hands on her arms trying to warm herself up, ellie looked down at her and noticed her nipples poking through from being cold- "uh.. me too" ellie said, unsure of how to respond to that

"can we.. you know.." aime tried to say without saying it, "huh?" ellie asked clueless, "uh, i dont mean to sound weird or anything, i only mean it platonically but.." aime said nervously, ellie finally realized what she was getting at

ellie opened her arms up motioning for her to go there, aime smiled at the girl, and scooted till she was presseda against ellies said, she then rested her cheek against ellies chest, wrapped an arm around her waist, ellie closed her arms around her, hugging her gently

they layed in silence for a few minutes, aime warmed up a bit but her legs were cold, so she lifted her knee and placed it between ellies legs, ellie almost instinctively brought her hand to aimes leg, just above her knee, and pulled it up more so that her knee was only a few inches away from her heat, aime moved her hips to try and get closer to ellie, but since they were already touching ellie, and since aime's hips were in between ellies theigh, it only made aime's core brush against it, unexpected butterflies swormed aime but not in her stomach, and it felt good.

she sat in silence, her mind repeating how she felt when she moved her hips from a few minutes ago, she opened her eyes and looked up at ellie, but ellies eyes were closed and seemingly asleep. so aime pressed herself to ellie theigh, and moved her hips up, she let out a shakey breath, suddenly turned fully on- this is the first time she was every turned on with someone else in the room.

aime's eyes looked to ellies body, before she sunk her hips back down slowly, causing her to let out another breath as her clit rubbed against ellies skin, slightly gripping onto ellies fabric

she stopped herself, what the fuck am i doing? im straight, i have a boyfriend, and ellie had a girlfriend. what the fuck is wrong with me? i guess since daniels always in the house i never have time to touch myself so now that hes gone i wanna? she tried to reason

"whyd you stop?" ellies voice achoed the room as aime froze- "hm?" aime hummed, "you know what i said" ellie smirked looking down at the girl, but the girl had her eyes closed hoping she was dreaming completely embarassed, "stop what?" aime asked trying to sound confused, "don't play dumb" ellie said, moving her hand from aimes leg to her chin, she pulled her chin to look at her, aime looked anywhere but her eyes

"look at me" ellie ordered, aime scooted herself up more, hovering over ellie face to finally look at her in the eyes, they didnt speak anything, the sexual tension was so thick you could cut it with scissors

aime couldnt help herself, she was so turned on by ellie, her body, her face, and her voice, she without any thoughts slammed her lips into ellies, ellie immediately kissed back, putting all the anger she had for herself and for daniel into the kiss, ellie had her hands onto ellies waist, and aime just did what felt right, aime had one leg outside of ellies, the other in between ellies two, her hands holding ellies face

ellie leaned herself up, moving her hands more towards aimes hips, pushing them to help her move agianst them like how she was doing eairler, aime let out a moan through the kiss, which made ellie melt

aime started grinding her hips more to ellies theigh, "do you want me?" ellie grunted, aime only hummed in response, "i need words" ellie said, making lovebites on her jaw, "mh- i- i want you ellie" she moaned, she never felt this good in her life, she felt like she was in heaven, "good girl" ellie whispered

ellie gripped aimes hips, causing them to stop, she brought her lips back to aimes lips, kissing her with tongue, aime tried to move her hips but ellie was stronger then her and she couldnt

aime brought her hand to herself, trying to rub herself but ellie pulled away and gripped her wrist, "did i say you could?"

"n- no" aime whined, ellie licked her lips before she brought her face to aimes cleavge, she kissed it a few times before she pulled away, pulling aimes shirt over her head, ellie felt herself grow even wetter at the sigh, she stared in awe for a moment, before she started to taste her skin and message her boobs

"ellie- please" aime moaned wanting more, as much ellie wanted to tease aime more, she was teasing herself, ellie pulled away, looking at the marks she just created,

ellie grabbed aimes hips and lifted her up, before pulling her leg up too, and pushing her to sit back down on her so now she was straddling her instead of being in between her legs

ellie then brought her middle and ring finger to her clothed slit, rubbing her slowly, watching as she squirmed, she could feel her wetness seeping through the fabric, "youre so wet" ellie grunted, she moved her hand and pulled the waistband of aimes boxers, she sunk her hand into them, letting her wet lips come in contact with the pads of her fingers, "is this all for me babe?" ellie moaned, "only you" aime moaned

ellie began to drag her two fingers up and down her slit, as they slopply kissed, "i need you in me ellie" aime moaned, those words alone made ellie moan, so she sunk her fingers deep inside of her, aime bit her lip muffling her moan, "let me hear you" ellie moaned, jamming her fingers even deeper then before, aime let her jaw hang as she moaned, and began to grind her hips onto ellies fingers, "you look so pretty on me" ellie whispered as she began to pick up her paste

"tell me how good it feels" ellie moaned, starting to curl her fingers, "mmpfh- it- it feels so good ellie!" aime whinned, "good girl" ellie whimpered, "i- im gonna" aime tried to make out a sentance, but she cut herself off with whine, her stomach tightened, she arched her back onto ellies fingers, but ellie kept on pumping, overstimulating her as she dripped onto her fingers

"you did such a good job" ellie complimented, pulling her fingers out, aime didnt know what was to happen next, but ellie shoved her two fingers into aimes mouth, watching as aime complied, sucking on her fingers and twirling her tongue around them

"good girl" ellie whispered, she pulled her fingers out of her mouth, ellie pulled aime and turned her around so now aime was on bottom, ellie pulled off her underwear and pulled off aimes

she pressed her lips to hers, making out with eachother there tongues tangling. ellie then moved so that her left leg was under aimes, and that her right leg was over her others, pressing their clits together, aime let out a whine as ellie started to grind, there slits grinding against eachother

as aime gripped onto ellies leg, she leaned her head back and let out a whine, "fuck- ellie" she moaned, moving her hips grinding along with her, "daniel could never make you feel like this, huh?" ellie groaned, "no, only you can ellie" aime moaned, bringing her hand to ellies tanktop, lifting it up she could see her body

"thats it- good girl" ellie moaned, aime felt as if her ears had been blessed with the sound of her moaning, she wanted to get more of her noises out, aime brought her hand to her boobs, squeezing them and messaging them, "ugh- fuck- you're so hot" she moaned, leaning her head back grinding harder, "im gonna cum ellie" aime was able to pant

ellie felt her stomach tighten at her words, she rolled her hips once more before her and aimes moans were combained, ellie leaned onto aime with their chests pressed together, ellies head in the crook of her neck, both panting together.

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

why do you wanna keep us a secret?

plum, chapter sixteen

warnings: Joel Miller x reader, MILD SPOILERS for the last of us (both games and the hbo series), timeline wise this is set in between the first and second game (so when they live in Jackson), slow burn, age gap (20 years), ptsd, arguing, kissing

word count: 695

∼ gentle reminder that feedback, but especially reblogs are the way you support writers on here ∽

previous chapter | series masterlist | next chapter

masterlist | join my taglist 

“But do you really have to go?” you whined into his chest, your arms only tightening around his form, “I’m sure Eugene would fill in for you, uh, or Jesse! He’s all young and eager to be out there.”

“You’re killing me, you know that, right?” he chuckled, tilting your chin up to catch your eye. 

You were officially on the verge of marching over to Maria, once more, to ask if you could go out again. You both craved the morbid normality of going on patrols, loathing so deeply the way everyone in the town treated you as if you were made of fragile porcelain, the infected out there would never change no matter how much you did, and that fact was weirdly comforting to you. But it was also, deep down, because you hadn’t left Joel’s side for weeks now and the thought of being alone again, of going back to that house that you hadn’t even slept in for who knows how long, the thought of him maybe not returning, those too clouded your mind and caused your arms around his body to cling on even more. 

“Stay here with me where it’s warm and there aren’t any infected and where you can enjoy much much better company than Tommy. I’m sorry, I love the guy, but it’s true,” you jested, “I am way more fun than him.” 

“Yeah, you wanna tell him all of that when he comes a-knocking in a bit looking for me? Let him find out that you’re the reason I’m not doing my job?”

Slowly unravelling your arms, you took a step back and inspected his cautious expression, “Joel, are you-… are you scared of your brother finding out about us?”

“I don’t know if I’d call it that,” he apprehensively tried, “I just-”

“What?” you severed the remnants of your clinging hug, “are you ashamed of me or something?” 

“No! Oh my god, no!” he rushed out immediately, his coffee eyes growing wide, “Y/n, I am not ashamed of you in any way, please believe that,” his words dripping with desperation. 

“Alright,” you breathed, though your brows not unfurrowing in the slightest, “but then why do you wanna keep us a secret?”

“I don’t wanna keep us a secret, I just-…” he averted his gaze and uttered, “they trusted me to help you, you trusted me enough to let me in and then I-…”

“Then I kissed you. I was the one taking that step. Do you really think your brother would believe that you took advantage of me?”

“Plum, I know what you mean to him.”

“Even so, you really think he’d believe that? That he would think you would ever do something like that to a person?” 

Exhaling slowly, “I don’t know… He’s known me all his life. Seen every side of me, good and bad. I don’t know if he’d believe that, but I know I would if I was in his shoes.”

Staring down at your feet, you gnawed your bottom lip and eventually spoke, “when will you get back?”

“Maybe tomorrow or the day after that.”

Slowly lifting your eyes up to meet his, you nodded simply “okay,” though didn’t move to offer him another warm farewell.

Picking up his backpack that waited by the front door, his fingers stopped right before turning the handle and glanced back at you, “you know,” his fingers that weren’t clutching the door fidgeted apprehensively at his side, “you can stay here while I’m gone,” your shoulders relaxed as he essentially read your mind, “if you want. If that could somehow make things easier-”

But he didn’t get to finish his kind offer as you marched over towards him and snatched his head down for a kiss. 

“Be safe,” you rested your forehead against his for a moment as you felt his warm palm slide over your waist accompanying the relieved sigh that flowed out of him. 

“You too,” he breathed in your scent a second longer before he slipped out of your grasp and exited the door, not daring to look back at your form through the small window adorning the door even once. 

© 2023 thyme-in-a-bubble 

[natalias-wife]

My solace | n.r

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x reader

Summary: Just some fluff with the love of our lives

Warnings: slight angst? I think. Kinda rushed.

Word count: 2k

Author’s note: So this is really short and has a lot of things that can be improved, but honestly for my first fic it’s not that bad. Feel free to give me some tips if you see any errors or something.

You sighed as you looked at your alarm clock only for it to read 2am. When your stomach started growling you stood up with a groan and left your room to go to the kitchen for a snack. Looking around the cupboards and the fridge you decided to eat some of the cookies Wanda baked a few days ago and a glass of chocolate milk for a drink.

“Couldn’t sleep?” You jumped slightly at the voice which she chuckled at and you looked at her. “Mhm guessing neither could you?” You smiled shyly at her and she smiled softly back with a small nod. She sat down next to you on the kitchen aisle.

“The cookies any good? The guys keep stealing them before I even have a chance to eat one” you both chuckled softly at that and you gave her one of the cookies. You both sat in a comfortable silence for a while until you broke the silence. “Nat?” She hummed in acknowledgment. “Do you ever get scared before missions?” You were fidgeting with your fingers and when she looked at you her gaze softened. “Of course I do. I’m pretty sure everyone does. Why? Are you scared of the new mission Fury just put you on?” She grabbed your hand to stop you from fidgeting and with her other hand she lifted your chin up so that you would look at her. “I mean yea it’s my first solo mission and I’m scared I’ll fuck something up. I don’t wanna accidentally hurt anyone...” She frowned at that. “Look y/n, i know it’s scary trust me I do. I still get scared of the fact I’ll hurt innocents. But you can’t let that fear control you if you can do it with duo missions you can also do it on a solo one. And I’ve seen you fight, you’re good agent y/l/n!” She pulled you into a hug which caught you off guard for a bit, but you quickly hugged her back.

//

Natasha fluttered her eyes open and stood up to go for her morning run with Steve. She saw Steve waiting for her by the kitchen with 2 water bottles and some energy snacks. “Sam’s waiting for us at the park he wanted to get some warmups in.” Natasha raised her eyebrows. “Still so eager on outrunning us?” Steve chuckled at that. “Unfortunately.” They both started walking to the park together and met up with Sam.

After their run they went to shower and change into training gear. After they were done changing they all met up at the training room with the rest of the avengers. “Okay so today we’re going to be focusing on hand to hand combat. Sam you’re with me, Tony with Rhodey, Wanda you’re with vision and y/n you’re with Nat. Alright into positions!” Everyone walked up to their partner and got into their fighting positions. “Move your legs a little closer to each other.” You did as she said and asked her if this was better. “Wait let me.” She walked up behind you and moved your legs into a better and more comfortable position. “Thanks.” Getting back into her position as well you started sparring. Obviously Nat went easy on you since she’s way better at hand to hand combat. After a while of just blocking and attacking she threw you over her shoulder onto the mat. “Okay that hurt” you said while groaning in pain. She smiled at you and helped you up. “Take five?” You agreed and went to sit on one of the benches while drinking some water. Nat sat next to you and Wanda joined as well. The three of you got engaged into light conversation about training and you also started teasing the boys a bit.

After training you bid your goodbyes to the rest and went up to Fury’s office for your upcoming mission. Walking into his office you greeted the man and Maria who was there as well. After going through the steps and all the information he informed you that your jet would be leaving in an hour and a half.

You started packing all your gear and some extra stuff for if the mission had to be expanded. After that you went to the main floor to bid farewell to the other avengers. Everyone have you a hug and a quick be safe then they went back to whatever they were doing before. Lastly you walked up to Nat and Wanda and Wanda immediately pulled you into a tight hug. “Be safe okay? I know you’re stubborn, but please just follow the instructions they gave you.” You smiled at her and nodded. “Swear?” You held your hand up while holding your other hand in the air “I swear.” You teased and she chuckled then said bye once more and went back to baking with Vision. Then Nat pulled you into a hug and gave you a kiss on the top of your head. “Promise me you’ll be careful.” You promised her and kept hugging her, until Maria told you it was time to go. You both said your goodbye’s to each other and you stepped into the jet.

//

Walking into the building which contains the information you need you hold your gun ready and check every corner of the room then move on to the next one. Shooting the few guards in your way you went room by room. When you finally saw the laptop with the files you needed you did one last check around the room and then walked up to it and put the usb in it. While the data was being transferred the doors busted open. ‘Shit’ you quickly took cover behind one of the desks when they started shooting. Trying to look at how many agents there were you peeked above the desk but quickly ducked back down when a bullet barely flew over your head.

Taking a deep breath and closing your eyes you readied yourself to use your powers knowing you weren’t going to get out of this without. Your hands burst into flames and you started throwing fire blasts at the agents. You managed to knock a fair amount of them back and started going into hand to hand combat with a few others until you were in the clear. When you looked back and saw that the transfer was finished you quickly grabbed the usb and went to get out of there. When you were out of the building you were surrounded by even more hydra agents. You groaned and put your hands up in surrender and got on your knees. Just as one of the agents walked up to you to cuff you S.H.I.E.L.D finally showed up and shot the agents surrounding you.

You got up and started walking to the jet when another S.H.I.E.L.D agent shouted out a warning. Turning around you readied your gun but dropped it when you felt a pressure against your stomach just as one of your agents shot the hydra agent. Looking down you immediately pressed your hands against the wound to stop the blood from spilling out. You quickly walked further inside the jet and sat down while breathing heavily. The agents around you were grabbing medical stuff for you but you could barely focus as your sight started to get blurry. You could hear someone telling you to keep your eyes open and just then everything went dark.

//

It felt like the whole world stopped moving when Natasha got the news. She was distant ever since it happened and mostly kept herself in her room. Clint and Wanda brought her food and kept pressuring her to get some sleep but it was no use. She couldn’t sleep not knowing if you were going to be okay or not. Even though Cho already told them you were going to be alright. The bullet didn’t hit any critical organs but you still lost a fair amount of blood. You awoke this morning and Cho told you what happened while making you drink some water for your dried up throat. You asked her if you could see Wanda and Nat and she agreed. She asked Friday to inform the woman of the fact that you’re conscious and ask them to come up to see you. It wasn’t long before the doors opened and both woman came barging in. You frowned at the sight of them since Wanda’s eyes looked red and puffy while Nat’s were wet with tears and you could see the bags under her eyes. You opened your arms for both woman to hug you and they did so carefully not to hurt you. After reassuring them that you’re feeling okay and it only hurts a little Wanda left the room to grab some food for you.

“You promised..” you winced at the crack in her voice and sat up straight ignoring the protests from the redhead. You grabbed her face in your hands and started wiping her tears with

your thumbs. “I’m sorry Nat.” You softly said to her. She looked you into the eyes and you both sat there in silence for a little while.

“Can I kiss you?” The question caught you off guard. I mean you’ve been hopelessly in love with this woman ever since you joined the team but never would you have thought she felt the same way. You were both just really oblivious to the others feelings.

“Please.” You let out in a quiet voice but thankfully she heard you and pulled your lips into hers. The kiss was slow and passionate and you both sighed dreamily into it. She tasted so much sweeter than you thought. When the kiss broke apart so that you could both catch your breath she put her forehead against yours.

“I wish we did that earlier.” You said while intertwining your hands with hers. “Me too.” She kissed your hands and made you look up at her.

“So I know this is cheesy and I feel like a high school girl asking you this but do you want to make this official and be my girlfriend?” You nodded frantically and she pulled you in for another kiss. Only pulling away when the rest of the team showed up and Clint cleared his throat with a teasing smirk on his face.

When Cho cleared you from the med-bay you asked Nat if you could sleep with her that night and she agreed. So now here you were laying together in her bed while looking at each other lovingly. You gave each other a goodnight kiss and you asked her to hold you.

“Is this okay? Tell me when I hurt you yeah?” You smiled at her reassuringly “Nat you could never hurt me. And yea this is perfect.”

You both fell asleep with smiles on your faces that night feeling safe in each others arms.

[charmedreincarnation]

My shift to attack on titan

To start, I shifted to where I was 8. I was born and raised in wall maria (shigashina) with armin eren and mikasa and I spent most of my days with them. I could not imagine the bond you could have with people other than your family until I went here.

First I want to reminisce abt my besties 🥰

Armin is the sweetest smartest friend anyone could ask for. He also hums and sings which makes sense because he is the narrator of aot in this reality. He also writes journals about things he learns and things he wants to see and tells us we are going to go together. I am so lucky to be friends with someone so Sweet smart charming and caring. no words can describe my friendship with him. It was so interesting hearing his stories about his beliefs and ambitions . He was certainly humble when discussing his theories and made sure to include all of us in them.

His heart is so big I still don’t know how it fits in his dainty body. His family is poor and he helps his grandpa cultivates potatoes. Even so when he met my mother for the first time he gave us a weekends worth as a thank you gift for all the snacks I bring to our daily hangouts. Of course my mother did not want to take them as we are definitely more well off than his family but he insisted. This was met with my mother giving them two weeks of fruits, vegetables and meat, which we had to beg for him to take.

His lack of athleticism is also pretty funny. It’s not like we do anything too heart wrenching but he has horrible stamina for our age. The race to the tree goes as follows: eren winning because mikasa is letting him by enough to help his ego, then mikasa, then typically me carrying armin because he gets too tired after a while. I still make sure he wins though.

Mikasa is my first friend that’s a girl. There isn’t any school or activities to meet new people around my age, so the only people I knew were my family until I met eren and armin. Then I met mikasa. She’s kind of shy yet brave when she needs to be. She made me a doll when eren introduced us to her and I didn’t know she could be so crafty. Yes she’s clingy with eren buts she’s super protective with everyone she cares about including me. Our mothers are also both from persecuted clans and we share the same hymn that our mothers taught us, the same sigil tattoo of sorts our parents gave us, so with that alone our bond is unbreakable. We have become armin and erens first line of defense, we both have protective nature and are always stronger when fighting for our loved one. I can’t wait to have someone like her for my entire life by my side

She is a stoic and composed girl who tends to keep her emotions in check. Those close to her recognize her incredible strength and courage in even the most dire of circumstances. She is loyal and brave, ever willing to put her own safety on the line for those she holds dear.

At the same time, Mikasa does have moments of vulnerability. She is immensely sensitive to criticism and has difficulty accepting praise. Despite her impressive fighting ability and hard work which we all have seen..there are times when she feels she isn’t living up to expectations. So yea she’s is a complex person, but one thing that never changed about her, is her sense of justice and unwavering commitment to her loved ones. She is both a formidable friend and a leader. She is able to make tough decisions in even the most difficult of situations.

Then theres my boy Eren 💀💀he is an amazing daring friend. He’s the one I’ve known the longest. My mother was a nursing aid in the hospital, erens dad worked at before she got married and he is now our doctor as well! I didn’t meet him until I was about 6ish or 7 and we he started coming to his visits with his dad and we instantly clicked and we were each other’s first friend! Then we met armin together and he met mikasi and the rest is history. He would do anything for the people he cares about and though sometimes I want him to slow down and think for a second but that’s not something he does. He acts on what he thinks and I almost respect how impulsive he is. It doesn’t matter because mikasi and I will always be there to make sure he doesn’t die.

I also want to talk about my family.my relationship with my family in this reality still rings bells in my heart. My mother and uncle whom I live with are a reflection of grace and kindness embodied into people. My mother is absolutely beautiful and everyone tells me I have her eyes, which is the nicest thing I hear all the time. She is kind, beautiful, strong and everyt good thing I do I was taught by my mother. She amazes me every day with her grace and beauty. She has been the bravest and kindest role model to me, and for that I am grateful to be her daughter. Her strength and courage has inspired me in many ways, and I will always be thankful for everything she does. She sings to me everyday and braids my hair while telling me good affirmations to build my strength. She always encourages me to say thank you when I am full because not everyone has the same blessing. She would tell me stories and fables every night and make me the main character incorporating moral lessons in each one to encourage me to be the best version of myself. She was very loving and kind with her words and actions, and soft technique in everything she does and for that I’m grateful. My uncle is of the same nature. Anytime I had a curiosity he would tell me stories and teach me everything he knows about the topic. If I had an interest the next day I would find a book of it on my desk. Books on specific topics are not a right but a privilege and how he got access to them I still do not know but restrictions never stopped him from getting me my desires. He would tell me I’m the smartest most beautiful girl in the world and I hope one day I’ll believe it. He is the kindest smartest man in my life and honestly armin reminds me of him, maybe why I love him so much. I also have a father who is a merchant and often travels, and though I do not agree with everything he does as he is more conservative, and closed minded he is still a great father, and for that I’m grateful. He does business with the royals and every trip back he would bring me sweets and treats that I would share with my friends. Chocolate with candy pieces and pecans/walnuts were my favorite. He would bring them in special arrangement and tell me to make this last until his next trip. It never happened and armin mikasi eren and I would eat them all in one setting until we couldn’t walk. Regardless I shifted here at a time I had a horrible relationship with my family and for a time anytime i would speak about my mother I was referring to her. I have now obviously manifested a better relationship with my family, but at a point, and I love and appreciate them but during my darkest hour, she was my real and only mother.

Also, As I expected was the food here was heavy on meat, beans, and grains, with little variety in terms of fruits and vegetables. This meant that the meals tended to be fairly bland – not exactly what I was used to. A common dish that I enjoyed was a stew made with chunks of beef and vegetables. It was slow-cooked for hours, which made it rich, flavorful, and comforting. The vegetables were often slightly sweet, which balanced out the salty flavor of the beef. But I mean we’re a locked up village trying to not get eaten alive by titans, so good diversity is the least of my problems.

But Y’all I honestly consider Shigashina as my realhome. My village is the epitome peaceful and idyllic. The scenery here is breathtaking. Rolling hills climb to reveal breathtaking views of the valley below, while nearby forests are a pleasing mix of vibrant green and warm autumn hues. The sun creeps through the clouds just enough to cast a golden hue on the village below, and the gentle breeze plays with tree branches and grassy fields.

It’s easy to feel like you’ve stepped back in time when you wander the streets of Shigashina. Streets of cobblestone pass between quaint houses while quaint shops and restaurants line the main thoroughfare. The village’s many windmills add to the charming atmosphere, their slow rotation creating a calm serenity.The nearby rivers and lakes bring life, with their gentle rippling and abundant fish. Beyond the village, pilgrims and adventurers journey the mountains to explore the region’s unique landscapes and mysterious secrets.

Of course, no discussion of Shigashina would be complete without mentioning its many festivals. Colorful parades, traditional dances, lively music – each celebration introduces a unique flavor to the village’s rich culture. For those that want to experience something truly unique, a visit during one of these festivals is a must. From its stunning landscape to its vibrant culture, Shigashina is truly a hidden gem in my experience.

In this void (cr)I could care less about nature but there, I am outside everyday the scenery, and it’s is breath taking. I miss being a kid. Getting to go everyday to our oak tree, and run around, race and play tag, while also reading and making flower crowns for each other . We yelled and screamed and played as children with no worries in the world, the euphoria and tranquillity I felt everyday, I did not even feel in this reality’s childhood and I cannot wait to go back and be free of stress. The market place is filled with people chatting, commerce and children running about. fruit and vegetables scent was in the the air and money rattling feels nostalgic to my eyes. It’s chaotic but in the most calming nostalgic way. I appreciate every aspect of my life, after coming back here and I cannot wait to leave here permanently and continue to experience my life the way it should be with people I love and love me, and to meet more people to fulfill my life.

My experience was amazing. Yes I haven’t endured any of the hardships yet since the fall of our town hasn’t happened and I haven’t joined the scout yet. I came here to spend my days with my friends and rest. I had no responsibilities and the bond I had with my family was untouchable. I know I will have a lot of trauma to prepare for, but everyone In my life is setting me up for success, and perseverance. all that matters is that I am loved and have people to fight for. With this said I can’t wait to meet my future friends and basically family members as I grow into the this home 🥰🥰

I know this isn’t aesthetic and it’s kind of boring but I didn’t go there for the action just yet, I just wanted to spend time with my friends, and family and have no responsibilities as I came here when I was super depressed. My other shifting stories are more fun 😻😻😻

[zaebeecee]

To Sever a Loveless Bond

••RadioDust Soulmate AU••

Part 19/?

First chapter | Previous chapter | Next chapter

Read on AO3

•••

CW: more explicit references to the last chapter (but just references)

Sorry updates are coming slower, y’all, real life work that pays money and stuff has been picking up lately and I need to buy hot pockets

Also featured in this chapter: more examples of soul marks sucking for people. I’m glad y’all seem to like my take on Arackniss tho.

•••

In 1932, Anthony disappeared.

That was, Arackniss supposed, not exactly the right way to put it. ‘He ran away from home’ might have been more accurate, but he was an adult at the time, and the phrase was so… juvenile. But, while none of the family knew where Anthony had gone, Arackniss himself had one leg up on the others: he was the one who saw Anthony off, gave him some money for the trip, and hoped (for his brother’s sake) that he never ended up in New York City again.

In 1933, Anthony returned, and their father threw him in a sanitarium for being queer. That was, after all, what people did in their day. Hell, it was the reason Anthony had run off in the first place, trying to save himself from their father’s old-world homophobic, Sicilian rage. And after Anthony got out, everyone talked about how much he had changed. How different he was. How much colder he had gotten.

Arackniss, however, knew different. Whatever turned Anthony icy and cruel didn’t just happen in the institution. It started wherever it was he had gone, when he tried to leave the family behind forever. Something he saw out there broke him, and Arackniss never learned what it was; they didn’t get the chance to talk before he was institutionalized, and when he tried asking Anthony about it after his release, his little brother didn’t remember.

It was the lobotomy, probably.

Arackniss figured that was the start of his protectiveness over Anthony, an aspect of brotherhood that had never existed between them before. Something had wounded his brother, something Anthony might never remember and Arackniss—Bernardino, in those days—would likely never understand, and he thought that since he couldn’t protect Anthony from the pain, he could at least shelter him better from new wounds. It wasn’t easy, since they still didn’t like each other, but Arackniss was able to do most of it behind Anthony’s back, particularly once their father kicked it and Arackniss inherited the family business. Besides, it made Maria happy, and both of them would have done anything for their sister, in their own ways.

Wherever she is now.

It’s funny. She could be worse than either of us on her bad days, but I’ve never found her here.

Anthony died before either of them, a gruesome and painful death that could as easily have been an accident as suicide, though the cops called it the latter. Arackniss had heard the name Angel Dust several times after arriving in Hell before he ever realized that was referring to his brother, and their reunion had been brief and awkward. Even though they never spoke, he knew how often Anthony came to that one restaurant he managed. And, even though Anthony pissed him off… they were family. They were brothers.

Arackniss wasn’t going to let anybody use his little brother as a pawn in their political game, no matter how firmly he had promised to stay out of things where the Vees were concerned.

VoxTek tower was huge and gaudy, in Arackniss’s opinion; it was too tall, it was too sleek, and it was too ostentatious to be anything but a status symbol three overlords were holding over the citizens of Pentagram City. There had been a time that it hadn’t existed, and after that, a time the tower had seemed so out of place. But the Vees were powerful, moreso than any coalition of overlords should have been, and soon the aesthetic of Pentagram City’s center had fallen in line with Vox’s penchant for sharp lines and curves and unholy marriage of Brutalist and Googie architecture.

Arackniss had wielded power in life, sure—after he’d taken over the family, he’d run it from the forties all the way into the sixties before he got shot nine fucking times—but he’d never been a bragging asshole about it. People who wore their wealth like a badge of honor were just asking to get shot.

The security system was thorough, but with the paths Arackniss planned to take, they were nothing he hadn’t seen before. The loading dock was open, sinners and Hellborn busy moving something off the back of a truck and into the bay, and with Arackniss’s size and coloring nobody even glanced his way as he skirted around a couple of security guards and into the shadows of the back warehouse. He jumped from the floor up into the rafters, running along the metal until he reached the wall, where he hopped down to land on an air duct. He made short work of the screws on the vent, then dipped in, pulling the vent into place behind him.

Usually, air vents weren’t actually something you could navigate buildings in like they did in movies, but sinners tended to plan things as though their own size was normal, and most sinners were an average of four feet taller than Arackniss was himself. Plus… well, he was a fucking spider, he could crawl almost better than he could run.

After that came the most tedious part of any infiltration. He knew the rough layout of the building, but keeping everything in mind while scaling up ventilation shafts was a bitch, and he had to find air vents near enough the floor directories for him to make out what the fuck floor he was even on.

Of course, the Vees kept their personal shit near the top of the building, probably in part because of people like him. The further up he got, the fewer people he heard in the hallways, until the building seemed as cold and deserted as it looked. It was eerie in a way very much unlike the environment he liked to foster; while both were detached and impersonal, this place was worse, because it was so… fake.

The sounds of voices drew his attention, and Arackniss slowed so he made no noise as he finished his approach. He stopped out of line of sight of the vent, not wanting to risk anyone glancing up his way, and stilled himself to listen.

“—what with his little fanclub fucking converging on our lobby and still no official statement from your boytoy, the parasocialites are going to start being a real pain in the arse quite quickly.”

Velvette.

“What do you expect me to do about it?” Vox. “He’s happy enough now that he’s got the little whore functionally incapacitated. He’s never been smart enough to consider long-term consequences.” Arackniss heard them shifting around, but he couldn’t tell what they were doing.

“…you think he’s gonna end up dead, don’t you?”

“…I’ve considered the possibility.” Vox’s voice was neutral in a way that Arackniss could only call ‘politic’, concealing everything under a layer of pragmatism. “When Alastor kills Angel, Val will lose his shit, and he doesn’t stand a chance against the Radio Demon.”

“So why are you doing this?” There was a pause, and when Velvette didn’t get an answer, she continued, “You have to see how fucking insane this is. There’s no way you don’t. It’s unnecessary. If the mark is such a big deal, cut him from his contract. VoxTek made him and we can make someone else just as easily.”

“You wouldn’t understand.” Vox hesitated, and it sounded like he reconsidered whatever he was going to say. “It’s a little late to change tack now.”

“You boys and your fucking dick measuring contests.”

Arackniss smirked a little, but only a little. Vox seemed so positive that Alastor was going to destroy his little brother, but after that evening…

When he found Valentino’s office, it was empty. Carefully, he let himself out, refastening the vent covering and soundlessly dropping to the ground. It smelled terrible, probably residue of the smoke from those cigarettes Valentino was never seen without, but otherwise it seemed like the office of any other sleazelord. Arackniss knew where he would keep copies of soul contracts (if he had any), but from what he had gathered, the porn overlord was a fucking moron.

The desk, then.

It wasn’t even locked, but the interior of the drawers were so disorganized it was almost a built-in security measure all its own. He found a disturbing number of pictures of his brother, as well as several other performers over a spectrum of different gender presentations, loose receipts that probably meant his books were a disaster, pens that probably didn’t work, toys that he did not touch, and a wide variety of odds and ends, most of which didn’t belong in an office desk.

The top middle drawer, usually reserved for writing implements, was full of loose papers… and a false bottom. Arackniss shifted the papers back and slipped his fingers under the latch, carefully lifting it and retrieving two objects: a photograph, and a contract.

The photograph was much different from all of the others he had found. This one was old, gritty and washed out the way photography had been in the late 70s, and the only two people in it were a far less garishly dressed Valentino and Vox back when his head was a far bulkier shape. Neither of them looked particularly well-off, and the photograph was a selfie that Valentino had clearly taken with his longer arms. It must have been before they were overlords, Arackniss thought, because he didn’t actually hear Vox’s name as anything but a sinner pushing television in Hell until the early 80s.

They both looked happy.

Arackniss slipped the photograph back in place and unfolded the contract, fairly certain he knew what it would be, and he was… half right. It was actually two contracts folded up together, both copies of different transactions.

One, his mission target, was signed by Anthony and authorized to Valentino.

The other was signed by Valentino and authorized to the name ‘Vincent’.

Arackniss frowned, staring at it—did someone actually own Valentino’s soul? And was Vincent…?—but this wasn’t his problem right now, and he fucking hoped it never would be. He folded the second contract back up and slipped it into place, just as the door clicked.

“Fuck,” he hissed under his breath, immediately ducking underneath the desk and slipping the drawer closed from below. The door swung open with a violent bang, and Arackniss heard a storm of manic muttering that sounded like it might have been Spanish as black velvet boots stomped over to the desk.

Valentino rounded the desk and stood in front of it, cursing quietly as he opened his desk drawers and began rooting through them in a way that sounded aimless. Arackniss held his breath, listening for any words he could recognize, but Spanish wasn’t as close to Italian as people who spoke neither one believed, and so he was only able to parse enough to determine that Valentino wasn’t feeling angry. Not exactly, anyway. Bitter? Or… maybe petty would be a better word.

“Perfecto,” Valentino muttered as he found whatever he was looking for. “Let’s see the Radio Demon ignore this.”

He sounded triumphant in his pettiness. That was not good. Arackniss didn’t know what kind of man Alastor was, but he didn’t have to in order to recognize that Alastor had a very short leash that had been frayed over what was likely a lifetime of building insanity and neuroses and was currently even more volatile than his past reputation would suggest. The moment Valentino left the office again, Arackniss slipped the contract into his jacket and jumped back up to the vent, opening it and slipping back in.

He just hoped that, if Valentino was intending to antagonize Alastor somehow, he could get to the hotel first.

•••

“Look, you really don’t need to do this, we’ll be fine.”

“It’s okay, really. Please, just stay here for now, until all of this blows over.”

Blitzø sighed, rubbing his forehead, before he looked back at Millie, Moxxie, and Loona. “What do you think?” he asked them, trying very hard to ignore the pleading look Charlie was giving to all of them.

“I actually think it might be a good idea, sir,” Moxxie said. “If the Vees are actually determined to get rid of us, we shouldn’t make it easy for them to find us.”

“It’ll only be for a bit, right?” Millie added. “Me an’ Moxxie’ll take you up on it at least, Princess.”

Loona shifted. “…I don’t want to go back through Pentagram City right now,” she muttered.

Blitzø held up his hand. “Okay. Okay, fine.” He turned back to Charlie. “Guess we’ll be hanging out for a while. Don’t worry, we’ll do our best not to break anything.”

Charlie shook her head. “I’m not worried about that. Besides, uh, you might have noticed… we aren’t exactly bursting at the seams with guests!” Her voice was bright, but Blitzø knew an emotional coverup when he heard one.

“Well, we’re irredeemable, but we’ll do our best to look like a crowd.”

Charlie took them up to the floor where, apparently, everyone had their rooms. She showed Millie and Moxxie to one (“You’ll be right across the hall from Husk, but I’m not positive he ever spends much time in there, so don’t worry about bothering him.”), Loona to a second (“Niffty is right next to you if you need anything, and just ignore— yeah, that noise right there, it’s apparently nothing to worry about!”), and finally, Blitzø to a third. It was nice enough for a fairly standard room, and Blitzø couldn’t help thinking that even unmodified it was almost as big as his and Loona’s apartment. He took a couple of steps in, looking around as he did so.

He could feel Charlie watching him with eager apprehension. “Well?” she asked finally.

Blitzø turned his head, raising an eyebrow at her. “Well?” he repeated back at her.

“What do you think?”

Tilting his head, Blitzø turned to face her, his hand on his cocked hip. “Why do you care so much what we think?”

Charlie looked like she was at a loss for a moment. “…because… I… why wouldn’t I?”

“Because we’re not your target demographic,” Blitzø said, frowning. “Because you’re letting us crash for free. Because we don’t write for some fucking travel magazine or something. Take your pick.”

“Oh.” Charlie shifted uncomfortably. “…well… to tell you the truth, you’re the first people from any other Ring who’s seen the hotel,” she said. “I know news circulated about it, and I know it was…”

She seemed to be struggling with phrasing, so Blitzø supplied, “A laughingstock?”

“…yeah,” Charlie said on a sigh. “And you— I mean, you know, you own a business, and you’re…”

“…the lowest form of Hell society?” Blitzø asked with a sarcastic smile.

Charlie frowned at him. “I didn’t say that, stop finishing my sentences in the rudest way possible.”

Blitzø shrugged at her. “No, you’re right. An imp owning a business of any kind is… weird, I guess. But I figured, fuck it, if my old man could run a circus, I could run a tiny assassination agency.”

She nodded. “Did people tell you it was… a dumb idea?”

“Among other things.” Blitzø tilted his head at her, just a little. “I’m not sure what, exactly, it is you wanna hear out of me.”

“I don’t know,” Charlie said, sounding exasperated with the universe as a whole. “That it… that it’s a nice hotel, I guess. That it’s not a waste of time. That it’s not… stupid.”

Blitzø smirked. “But it is,” he said. Charlie blinked, clearly surprised that he would say that to her face, so he took advantage of her silence to continue. “Of course it’s stupid. You looked at a long-standing murder ritual that the angels clearly fucking love, and decided that the answer was to build a voluntary rehab center for the worst parts of humanity to do the work on their souls that they couldn’t be bothered to do while alive on the off chance that maybe, somehow, that would get them into Heaven.”

Charlie’s shoulders sagged slightly. “It sounds awful when you put it that way.”

“But that’s what it is,” Blitzø countered. “And you knew it was stupid when you first started. I know you did, you’re not an idiot. But you did it anyway. Why?”

“Because…” Charlie threw her hands out. “I don’t know, because it was important to me?”

“Right.” Blitzø smiled at her, just a little, and Charlie lowered her hands to look at him again. “Everybody does stupid shit because the reasons are important to them. You just happened to have the drive to do something huge and stupid for a cause that you don’t even have any proof works. And y’know, good for you, most people would look at this plan of yours, laugh at it, and give it up. But you didn’t, and because you didn’t, you stopped an extermination, which has never happened before.”

Charlie’s expression had been softening as he spoke, and at that, she smiled. “…yeah. Yeah, we did, didn’t we?”

He snorted under his breath, smirking. “So, there you go. So what if it’s stupid. So what if the rest of Hell thinks you’re… I dunno, naive or childish or out of touch for doing it. Why should you give a fuck what they think? Even if redemption isn’t a thing, at least part of your hotel works. You wanted to bring people together, and you did. You wanted to protect people from the extermination, and you did. What the fuck have your naysayers done except bitch about other people’s ideas? Mammon’s never had a single idea that wasn’t utter fucking trash, and he’s had success with almost every single one of them.”

Charlie actually giggled, folding her arms. “I didn’t know you were a motivational speaker.”

“What? Oh, fuck that,” Blitzø said with a laugh. “I’m the absolute picture of demotivation. But you’re pretty okay, comparatively, and I’d rather watch them fume at your success than contribute to your failure because the first one is funnier.”

He didn’t like the way her lip quirked into an amused smirk. “Uh-huh. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone you were being nice to me.”

“Stop that,” Blitzø said, pointing at her. “Or I will start being rude to you again.”

She shrugged, clasping her hands behind her back. “I live in a building with the Radio Demon, I’m not worried about you.”

He narrowed his eyes, dropping his hand to hang at his side. “…if I wasn’t pretty sure your girlfriend is faster than me, I’d call you a bitch.” Her laugh was startled and maybe a little scandalized, but it was a laugh. He sighed. “Well, at least you’re getting into the ‘I don’t give a fuck’ groove easily enough.”

“Oi! Blitzø!” a voice called from somewhere else in the hotel. That Cherri Bomb chick, if he wasn’t mistaken. “Get your ass down here!”

Blitzø groaned, letting his head fall backwards “I should ask Millie if this is what being married feels like,” he muttered before waving his hand at Charlie a little as he passed her. “It’s probably the nicest hotel I’ve seen in Hell, and I grew up in Greed. Do with that what you will.”

Charlie didn’t follow immediately, and Blitzø didn’t wait for her, heading back down the hallway and vaulting over the balcony railing down to the ground floor. “You bellowed?” he asked as he approached Cherri Bomb, raising an eyebrow at her.

“Yeah, bitch, I got something for you,” she answered with a sharp grin. It was only then that he realized she wasn’t alone; there was a very small sinner with her, a guy who seemed to be some kinda gray spider-like… something. He was crouching on the arm of the couch, which barely put him at Blitzø’s eye level, and he was giving him a look that was obviously daring him to be sarcastic.

Blitzø immediately had six comments he could make. Five of them were funny and one of them wouldn’t end with him getting shot, so he went with that one, because it was the middle of the night and his reflexes weren’t quite up to ‘avoiding death at the hands of an unknown sinner’ at the moment. “Your contact?” he asked Cherri Bomb.

“Arackniss,” she said. “And this is Blitzø.”

“Here,” the sinner said in lieu of any greeting, offering a folded contract out to Blitzø. “Don’t fuckin’ lose it, just get him outta this and do it fast.”

His accent sounds a lot like— “Ohhh,” Blitzø said as he took the contract, his eyes wide with understanding. “Yeah, I got you.”

Arackniss didn’t ask what his revelation was, and it really looked like he didn’t care. “Is Alastor here?”

Blitzø and Cherri Bomb exchanged looks. “…uh, maybe?” Blitzø asked.

“Don’t look at me,” Cherri Bomb said immediately, holding her hands up. “Bitch made me walk back on my own, I don’t have a clue where he went.”

“Keep an eye on him, as much as you can,” Arackniss said. “That Valentino bastard’s apparently planning something. He ain’t smart, but you don’t gotta be smart to be effective.”

Cherri Bomb sighed. “I’ll tell Niffty—”

“Tell me what?”

The explosive sinner jumped a little. “Shit, Niffty, where did you come from?!”

“Japan,” Niffty said with a wide grin, staring up at Cherri Bomb. “You’ll tell me what?”

“Arackniss here says someone needs to keep an eye on Alastor,” Cherri Bomb said.

Niffty tilted her head, then looked up at where Arackniss was still crouched on the arm of the couch. Her eye went incredibly wide, and Blitzø could have sworn it started glittering. “Ohhhh, you’re a bad boy…!”

Arackniss frowned at her, leaning back just a little. “…the fuck…?”

“Noooo,” Cherri Bomb said, reaching down to take Niffty by the shoulders and start ushering her out of the room. “No bad boys for you tonight. You go keep an eye on Radiohead and make sure he stays put, okay?”

“Okay~” Niffty said in a somewhat dreamy voice, still looking back at Arackniss as she was pushed several feet. She then giggled, scampering off to go find Alastor.

“Right,” Blitzø said. “Before this gets weirder, I’m gonna get going with this. He… might still be awake,” he said to himself, before shrugging. “Welp, he’s about to be.”

He was halfway to the door when he heard a voice. “Blitzø. Hold on.” He stopped and turned just as Vaggie approached him. “I’m coming with you.”

Blitzø frowned at her. “What— why? I can handle this, I’ve been there like a thousand times at this point.”

“You’re still a target for the Vees,” Vaggie said, crossing her arms as she stared down at him. “And, besides, I want to make sure you get there with the contract and get back with the info.”

Blitzø smirked. “What, you don’t trust me?”

“I’d say not as far as I can throw you, but you’re small.” As Blitzø’s expression turned into a frown, it was Vaggie’s turn to smirk. “You don’t get a choice, pendejo. Sorry ‘bout it.”

“Oh, no you are not.” Blitzø glared at her before huffing. “Fine. But I’m doing the talking when we get there.”

“Fine with me. So, you said you’re going to talk to Prince Stolas?”

“Yep,” Blitzø said, turning towards the doors. “This is gonna be awkward. So just remember that you decided to tag along,” he added, heading outside before she could respond.

•••

Normally, Alastor was excruciatingly patient. He almost never slept, he enjoyed watching plans unfold slowly over a long period of time, many of his pastimes were things that couldn’t be done quickly… even in life, Alastor had never really been one to be impatient.

That, he had decided, was one of the effects of having Angel Dust so present in his life now: he had only been back in the hotel for a few hours, and he was already getting agitated at the lack of news from Arackniss. He had fixed his desk and picked up its scattered contents—he certainly was throwing things quite a bit recently! How uncharacteristic of him!—in a matter of half an hour, which had left him with nothing else to do but wait. Normally, he would read, or listen to music, or even go out and eviscerate some unfortunate who decided to aggravate him in one way or another, but all he was doing was just… sitting.

Upon deep reflection of the past few days, Alastor supposed he felt responsible for what had happened. It wasn’t that he believed the Vees were holding Angel hostage now because he had neglected to break the bond; no, he was certain Vox had something else up his precisely starched and pressed little sleeve, and so too was he certain that Angel would be in a similar predicament to his current situation regardless of Alastor’s own actions. But perhaps, had he not left Rosie’s so rashly…

Alastor sighed and rubbed his forehead, his smile straining at the corners. There was little point in dwelling, and he knew that, but he couldn’t help the alien feeling that was broiling up in his gut and gnawing at him with a hot ferocity so unlike the hunger that perpetually clawed at his insides.

Am I feeling guilty?

But that was ludicrous. Alastor had felt regret in his time, certainly, but guilt? No. Guilt implied shame. Guilt implied his actions had been such grievous mistakes that he felt it necessary to assume fault for someone else’s misfortune. Alastor didn’t feel guilt, so why would this be different?

“Do you love him?”

The memory of the question made him twitch. In truth—and this was something he hadn’t wanted to divulge to anyone, let alone Arackniss—he wasn’t at all certain what he felt about Angel Dust. Over the past month, he hadn’t allowed himself to dwell on anything except the fact that they needed to bond, and the fact that he had been granted the opportunity to satisfy a number of intellectual curiosities that, it turned out, hadn’t been wholly unpleasant.

Don’t talk yourself in circles. You liked it.

The thought of touching anyone else still stirred even less than disinterest in him, but Angel’s presence was oddly soothing, in many ways. It was surprising, because Angel himself was so fucking grating when he wanted to be, and while he hadn’t had any interest in repeating their intercourse as yet, he found it pleasant when Angel touched his hand or leaned on his arm.

So what did he feel, when it came to Angel Dust? He liked him, certainly, which had come as quite the surprise. Upon their first meeting, Alastor had written Angel off; a porn star (boring) who worked for VoxTek (irritating) and kept propositioning him (absolutely not) was definitely not his sort of person, he thought, and he had resolved to be cordial and little else. He couldn’t even put his finger on when it was that he started liking the little spider, mostly because he couldn’t remember a time he had ever actually found his attitude that off-putting. Familiar, perhaps, but… well, he couldn’t begin to imagine why.

He found Angel Dust to be more than just likeable, of course. For example, he was infinitely aggravating: while he did understand a firm ‘no’ when he heard one, anything less than that seemed to be more of a challenge than an instruction or a warning to be heeded. He was also supremely confounding, and Alastor still couldn’t understand why Angel did half of the things that he did. He didn’t think Angel understood why he did them.

Alastor wasn’t a stranger to impulse, of course, and he had been known to act rashly at times. Angel, however, seemed predisposed to simply follow whatever whim made its way into his fluffy little head, which made him unpredictable and entirely illogical. He had never met anyone who answered the question ‘why are you doing that’ with ‘I dunno’ with such frequency, and never seemed bothered that he rarely knew why he did the things he did. Even Niffty tended to give a reason, even if that reason was out of left field.

But all of that just made Alastor wonder why he had even bothered. Normally, someone frustrating and confounding would be someone he would strive to avoid whenever possible, but Angel… Alastor laughed under his breath, putting his face in one hand. His first thought had been the mark again, but that didn’t explain why he had been speaking to Angel with increased frequency for several weeks before the damn kitchen incident. The mark, completely dormant at the time, had no hand in that, and Alastor wouldn’t allow fate to be the reason for his change of perspective.

No. That had been his own doing… and, in all likelihood, Angel Dust’s. What the spider had done, Alastor couldn’t begin to guess, but he did know that it wasn’t intentional. If it was, it never would have worked.

A soft tap against the glass of his only window startled him, and Alastor got to his feet, crossing to it and unlocking it. He wasn’t sure if he expected Arackniss or not, but when he opened it, there was no one there, simply a cassette lying on his windowsill. Raising an eyebrow, Alastor delicately lifted it between two claws, turning it back and forth curiously; it was unlabeled, but it didn’t appear to be… cursed, or anything of the sort. Just an audio cassette.

Shutting his window again, Alastor went to his desk and conjured up a cassette player, which landed on the wood with a hollow plastic clatter. Magnetic tape wasn’t the worst evolution in audio technology, he supposed, and it was absolutely easier to record on than wax cylinders, so it certainly had its place in the oeuvre of music as a whole.

Alastor slipped the cassette into the player and snapped it shut. It was already rewound, so he hit play, thumbing the volume control as it started up.

“Alright, baby, now come show me how much you missed me.”

Instantly, Alastor’s lip curled in distaste. Valentino? Why the fuck did he have a cassette recording of Valentino? He had half a mind to stop it immediately, but the next voice stilled him.

“Anythin’ for you, Daddy.”

“Angel,” Alastor muttered, his eyes now locked on the player in his hand. He could hear sounds that he wasn’t able to parse, shifting fabric and soft thumps, but it was followed by a sound he was growing to know alarmingly well: the wet, soft noise that two pairs of lips made when they met and then separated.

“You’ve been a very bad boy, Angel,” Valentino purred.

“I’m sorry, Daddy. I wanna be a good boy. I’ll do anythin’ to make it up to you.”

“Anything?”

“Anythin’ at all.”

Alastor clenched his fist around the player as he heard sounds that he knew from the films of Angel’s he had seen, wet smacking and open-mouthed exhaling and the occasional choked gag, all underscored by Valentino’s satisfied, low groaning. Alastor hesitated, then pressed fast forward. When he hit play again, he heard the repetitive smack of skin colliding with skin, the occasional shift of furniture against a tile floor, and Angel’s voice, panting and crying out in that horrifically fake performance voice that sounded nothing, nothing, like Angel did when he was actually enjoying himself.

“Oh, fuck, yeah, Val, come on, Daddy, do it, harder, please Val, god, please, fuck m—!”

The cassette player cut off with a high screech as Alastor crushed it in his fist, and the tape along with it. The plastic and metal mechanisms fell to the floor, where they began smoldering, then burst into flickering green flame.

Perhaps he was overdue for a little bout of rash behavior.

•••

“Make me a drink.”

“You’re pleasant today.”

“Fuck you,” Cherri said, turning away on the bar stool and looking out over the lobby. She could practically hear Husk roll his eyes behind her, but the clatter of bottles and ice followed as he obliged her demand anyway. Cherri bit down on the side of her tongue, resisting the urge to turn around.

“How long d’you think it’ll take?” Husk asked.

Cherri couldn’t tell if he was actually interested. “Blitzø?” she asked. “Who fuckin’ knows. I don’t know anything about the Goetia or how long they take to do anything.”

“Can’t believe we’re dragging Hellborn nobility into this.”

“Hmn.” Husk set a glass down at her elbow, and Cherri turned just enough to see that he had his hand over it, preventing her from taking it. She narrowed her eye and turned further, glaring at him. “What?”

“Everyone is already on edge,” Husk said. “You don’t have to make things worse.”

“Oh, fuck off, Husk,” Cherri snapped, turning around fully and slamming one fist on the bar top. He didn’t even flinch. “You were the one who called me six fucking times in a half hour to get dirt on Angie months after basically telling me you never wanted to see me again.”

Husk’s expression shifted, just a little. “That wasn’t what I said.”

“It was clearly what you meant.”

He narrowed his own eyes at her. “Don’t tell me what my own goddamn words meant, Cherri. You’re not a mind reader. And you were the one who decided to leave the hotel.”

“You expected me to stay after that?” Cherri asked, incredulous. “After we— after it was— you were the one who said to act like it didn’t happen!”

Husk actually rolled his eyes. “Not this shit again,” he muttered.

Cherri tapped the countertop. “You brought it up, buddy,” she said. “You said that you wanted to just ignore it. You said you didn’t want it. You said you had absolutely zero interest in me and you never would.”

“Do you have to be so fucking unreasonable about everything?” Husk asked. “You were the one who was furious when it happened. And then you were furious when it didn’t lead to anything. Is there anything in this goddamn miserable existence that doesn’t make you mad?”

“You didn’t!” Cherri said, gesturing at him. “At least, not until you became such an asshole about… it! I can handle rejection and I don’t give a shit about soul marks or what the fuck ever, but there’s a big difference between you not being interested and you acting like I’m beneath you!”

Husk blinked. “…what?”

“I get it, I’m not good enough for you,” Cherri snapped. “You made that very clear. But you don’t get to dictate how I react.”

“…the fuck are you talking about?” Husk asked, his eyes narrowing again. “You didn’t want to be, what was the phrase, stuck with a drunken, washed-up, failed children’s entertainer?”

“You called me a bitch!”

“You are a bitch!”

“You’re a bitch!”

“Um…”

Cherri realized that she was on her feet, and both she and Husk were leaning forward on the bar top as they shouted at each other (or as close to shouting as Husk ever got). They both snapped their heads to the side and saw Niffty looking up at them, blinking her single wide and curious eye.

Cherri threw herself back onto her stool with a huff while Husk turned away. “What is it, Niff?” he asked, his voice infuriatingly controlled again.

“It, um. Cherri told me to look after Alastor.”

Cherri frowned at her. “Yeah. So why are you here?”

Niffty gestured helplessly. “Well… I can’t,” she said. “Alastor’s gone.”

•••

[mama-qwerty]

WIP Wednesday

(shh don't look at the date I totally posted this on Wednesday I don't know what you're talking about)

This is a bit I wrote for my likely-never-to-be-written Shadow story, that takes place after the bit I posted for Flashback Friday.

Maria's tasked with taking care of baby Shadow, but things aren't going well.

~~~~~

It was the fourth night since I was given this assignment. Shadow still occasionally stopped breathing, and so far my “touch his cheek” technique still worked to get him started again.

So far.

I noticed it was losing its effectiveness over the last day or so. He was also starting to get more fussy. Grunting and whining as he squirmed in his little plastic home.

I watched him as I flipped through a magazine for the tenth time. Shadow didn’t seem to be doing well today. I checked the clipboard where I marked his vitals—heart rate, oxygen levels, body temperature, etc. All were dropping steadily over the past few hours.

I had shared my concerns with the professor, who only shook his head. “We’re doing everything we can. There’s not much more help we can give him. This fight is up to him.”

The general was less sympathetic. “I wasn’t on board with this thing in the first place. If it dies, you’ll be reassigned.”

Small comfort.

I didn’t want the little guy to die. The whole situation still hit me as strange and weird, but I didn’t want Shadow to die.

But if the doctor had no idea how to help him, what could I do?

I frowned as he squirmed again. I didn’t think he was dirty—I had changed his tiny diaper just 20 minutes ago, and it really hadn’t been all that dirty. He was still breathing, but it was shallow. His heart rate dropped.

My heart skipped as I realized I was watching this baby die.

I considering calling the professor. Would he know what to do? Based on our conversation earlier in the day, I doubted it. He seemed content with letting nature take its course, so to speak. It’s like he’d already given up on the little guy.

Should I? I was just a private, thrown into something I didn’t understand. I had no real stake in this project. Shadow was some weird, genetically engineered creation. Maybe he wasn’t meant to survive. Maybe it really was best to stop fighting for him.

Could I do that?

He squirmed again, this time uttering a tiny cry.

No.

I couldn’t.

I simply couldn’t stand by and watch that baby die.

My mind raced, trying to think of something, anything, to try. I knew woefully little about babies in general, but one memory surfaced, like a flash of inspiration.

When I was little, a neighbor had told my mom about her daughter’s premature baby. It lived in the NICU for a few weeks, getting weaker by the day. The nurses had suggested her daughter place the baby on her chest, as sometimes that skin-to-skin contact helped stabilize the baby’s breathing and heartbeat. It had worked for them.

I looked at the baby in the incubator.

It was worth a try.

“I may not be your mother,” I said, unbuttoning my uniform shirt and tossing it on the table. “But I’m the best you’ve got.”

I opened the incubator and carefully lifted the tiny hedgehog out. I made sure to keep all the wires attached, and handle him carefully. I had already gotten pricked by his quills as I changed his diaper once.

Slowly, carefully, I sat in the chair and tucked him into my undershirt. I positioned him over my heart, hoping my steady rhythm would help him.

I’m not sure what I expected. The monitors continued to beep an ever slowing tempo. He lay still against my chest, and I told myself that if he died, at least it wouldn’t be alone in that plastic box.

We sat together for a while, and I tried to ignore the monitors. I started humming to myself to drown out the beeps. I didn’t want to hear how slow they were getting.

I closed my eyes, resting a hand on Shadow’s back. He was tucked beneath my shirt, protecting my hand from his quills. I gently stroked his head with my thumb, still humming. A song from the 60s came to mind, one of my favorites, and I started signing softly.

“Stars shining bright above you,

Night breezes seem to whisper, I love you

Birds singing in the sycamore tree,

Dream a little dream of me . . .”

I continued with the song, holding the little hedgehog to my chest. Tears leaked from the corners of my eyes, running down my cheeks.

The song ended, and I sat still, breathing through the sadness that had engulfed me. This poor baby. It wasn’t fair. He had spent his entire short life in that incubator, and now he’d never . . .

A sound pushed through my thoughts and I opened my eyes. The always present beep of his life monitors had not stopped. In fact, they sounded stronger. Steadier.

I looked down at the baby on my chest and nearly gasped when I found two red eyes gazing up at me. His ears faced forward, honed in on my voice. I had never seen him looking this awake. This alert.

“Hey, Fuzzbutt,” I said, my voice soft. “Decided to stick around a little longer, huh? Good. I’m afraid I’m growing quite fond of you.”

[thehobbem]

Jane Eyre - Part II

DKZJFBDGHSJAKSJD THIS IS THE WORST MARRIAGE PROPOSAL IN LITERARY HISTORY

*clears throat*

A few days ago I wrote this post about my first thoughts on Jane Eyre. Since people wanted to see my reactions to further events, here I am.

I gotta say: you were all holding out on me, because not only does Jane Eyre have a man more ridiculous than Darcy (by a CLEAR mile), but it also has a clergyman more insufferable than Edmund Bertram, which??? should not be possible???

Okay, so:

I was hoping Rochester would give up on the wedding and confess to Jane about his wife in the attic, but nope! And he would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those meddling solicitor & brother-in-law. Like. This man is so idiotic, and felt so unbelievably sorry for himself, that he said with his full chest "yeah, bigamy is the solution! :D".

...Very uncomfortable how the narrative attributed the lowest possible vices to Bertha Rochester, while calling her "the creole". The vices weren't outright attributed to her being of mixed ancestry, but it felt like that was what was meant. All very uncomfortable. As uncomfortable as when the landed gentry wanted to visit a Romani encampment to see the Romani people (while, ofc, using the g-slur) as if they were animals in a circus? Hmmm, yeah, tough call!

(Look. I'm not gonna go around publicly denouncing books from past centuries for not being politically correct, bc that is an idiotic way to relate to literature from the past. Society was what it was, and not even the authors we admire so much were above that most of the time. But I can, and will!, look at certain things and go "wow, this aged like fucking milk". I think that's fair.)

AND THEN

Rochester, who can't possibly be thinking straight, proposes that Jane become his mistress!!!! Edward Fairfax Rochester, have you ever even MET Jane Eyre?? Do you know her but at all????

And he's like "me, me, me, what's to become of me, am I to be denied love, doesn't the world feel sorry for ME" and I nearly spit on my kindle, I was so mad XD How is this man, pushing fucking FORTY, putting on this preposterous show and leaving this 18-year-old girl to comfort him?????

(To bring up the sad sack that is Edmund Bertram again: it reminded me when Edmund wrote to Fanny: Maria has brought ruin to their name, Tom has nearly died, everyone is in distress, and he's like "But Fanny. Think of ME!!!" ugh)

But yes, honestly, Rochester's not evil, but he's so. goddamn. stupid. And draMATIC. I love him, he's a riot.

...I do not love how he kept blaming others for him marrying Bertha. Like. Sir. You were an adult and you married her of your own volition. "My father" this, and "her family didn't tell me" that, but YOU looked at her, thought she was gorgeous, and agreed to marry her. So fuck you. Hold yourself accountable, for a change. You man child.

So yeah, Jane runs away, which is totally the right decision, and without any money, which is totally the wrong decision, and ends up eating burned porridge again, and I'm like. If I had a nickel for every time Jane Eyre had to eat burned porridge while starving, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

Jane is then saved by the Rivers siblings: Mary and Diana Rivers, who are absolutely precious, and St. John Rivers, who is absolutely

UNBEARABLE OH MY GOD WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME

Me, every time St. John appeared on the page:

Hey. Charlotte? Charlotte. Was this a ploy? Did you bring St. John into the story to have us like Rochester more? Is St. John your way of going "Yeah, I know, Rochester is deranged, and what he wanted to do was morally and legally and spiritually wrong, but look at how boring righteous people can be!"? Was it? If so, it FUCKING WORKED, BRING EDWARD ROCHESTER BACK RIGHT NOW.

*rubs temples*

Also??? aekjsdzcbvsdjfsk I can't: St. John: "I found you employment." Jane: "Really? Which is it?" St. John: rambles on about the will of God or something, for entire paragraphs. Jane, who patiently waited for him to finish: "So? The job?" St. John: "Right! I don't know if you're gonna like it, but" rambles on again about the will of God or perseverance or something, for entire paragraphs. Jane: "Right. And the job?"

SIR FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE TELL US WHAT THE FUCKING JOB IS

THIS IS LIKE MR. BROCKLEHURST ALL OVER AGAIN

...Oh. Oh.

That's the point.

St. John really is Brocklehurst again, I love it: both love to talk about how Christian they are, and how it's important to lead a life of humility, etc -- the difference being, ofc, that St. John is not a hypocrite, fat capitalist pig, he's actually leading by (insufferable) example. And they both make Jane feel bad about her true self, just in opposite ways.

And St. John wants to be a missionary, because of course this insufferable man wants to be a missionary and impose his views on nice people who are just living their fucking lives. And he goes on and on about... idk, bringing light to the unenlightened and saving pagans or whatever, and it's SO pedantic, and it's SO patronizing, and it's SO... UGH.

I cannot believe Jane gave this man a quarter of her entire fortune.

AND THEN

HE MAKES THE WORST MARRIAGE PROPOSAL IN THE ENTIRE ENGLISH LITERATURE

No, I have not read the entirety of English literature, but oh boy am I fully confident in my statement. This is the WORST. Like. Mr. Collins' proposal is a shining beacon of unbridled love and romance next to THIS.

Me, reading his proposal:

"Jane, you weren't made for love, you were made for labour. You were made to be a missionary's wife" QEIARKSHV\CZNB;SAEKFJSDVC I'M GONNA GOUGE MY EYES OUT WITH A SPOON

At least Jane, too, was full aware of the insult XD Love that when she told Diana of the proposal, she repeated those exact words, and Diana was like "Girl, what??? Nu-uh!!!".

But it's all great. She refuses him, and he gets all prickly and assholish about it in the most holier-than-thou way possible, I hate him, but then she hears Rochester's voice in the wind crying out for her, and she hurries back to Thornfield. Sure, we've all been there.

Then we find out karma does exist and is the proverbial bitch: Rochester lost an eye, all of his eyesight, a hand, and his manor. Wow.

And then???? They have the CUTEST reunion ever???? And I was so happy for him???? For them??? Charlotte 😭😭😭👌👌👌

Rochester being all jealous of St. John, and I'm like "no, you're safe, he's the worst, he told Jane she wasn't made for love".

He also holds himself accountable at long last (hard not to, after all that), and he thought Jane was deeeeeeaaaad, and he was inconsolable and I'm a MESS

So all is good in the end: they marry -- LEGALLY! :D -- and have a child, and he recovers his eyesight on the eye he still has, and the Rivers siblings marry and are happy, and the book ends... with a letter from St. John saying he's dying??? WHAT

I love all of it. Specially St. John dying. A few stray observations:

The foreshadowing of future events is very well-planted, nicely done, Charlotte. That horse chestnut tree being split in half by lightning after Rochester proposes marriage to Jane? 👌👌👌👌👌 If I ever saw an omen!

And Jane. So smart, so good, so compassionate, so horny on main, so witty, so brave. May God keep St. John Rivers far away from her forever and ever.

LOVE how Jane begins with an aunt (who knows her and hates her) and 3 cousins (a John who torments her trying to diminish her, and two sisters who don't care if she's alive or not) and ends up having an uncle (who doesn't know her but loves her) and 3 cousins (a John who torments her trying to "elevate" her and two sisters who love her and save her life). The story is obviously very cyclical, and I enjoyed that a lot.

Don't know if I love or hate the fact that Charlotte slapped a "St." in front of the name of the John who wants to be a missionary and is the opposite of the first John XD (Yes, I know St. John is a real name, I've seen it many times before, but it's a bit on the nose here!)

...I wonder if Miss Ingram ever found out that Rochester wanted to marry the governess. I would've paid Charlotte Brontë good money to write THAT scene.

And last but not least: Pilot is the goodest boy in the whole wide world.