#The human body is really good at turning things into dirt or creating by products that bugs can turn into dirt

[the-mewrderus-duck]

I will never forgive the companies, that wanted to sell shittier cheaper food, for inventing diet culture. Ruining just eating a sandwich and not thinking about it. Sandwiches are fucking delicious and cause no real harm to anyone by just eating a fucking sandwich.

[anxious-little-faicye]

CAMP UNUS ANNUS SAFETY RULES!

Rule #1 - Always remember the BS (Buddy System).

Rule #2 - When confronted by a bear (depending on the type of bear), confront it back and make lots of noises. But keep in mind, only do that for Black Bears.

Rule #3 - Bears can't get through the polyurethane of a tent. Plastic repels nature, since it's not of this world.

Rule #4 - The forest doesn't give a damn about you. Arrogance will get you nowhere.

Rule #5 - If you're stuck in a tree alone and two people happen to come across you, they are buddies. Don't just assume because another human life is nearby that they're obligated to help you.

Rule #6 - You help those in need though.

Rule #7 - Communication is key.

Rule #8 - Look, scan, observe, react, run.

How to survive a bear attack:

Rule #9 / Step Number 1 - Evaluate, determine which type of bear it is that it's attacking you.

Rule #10 - If the bear grunts twice it's a Grizzly, if it grunts three times then it's a Polar Bear.

Rule #11 - When dealing with Polar Bears, the biggest thing you want to do is make sure that you're covered head to doe, with as much armor as possible (sleeping bags work just fine).

Rule #12 / Step Number 2 - Try to maintain silence, maybe it'll go away on it's own.

Rule #13 / Step Number 3 - If step 2 fails, abandon all coverage plans, because clearly it's not going to work. However, you don't need to worry, because your tent is safe as long as the bear doesn't claim it as it's own by attracting other bears as competition.

Rule #14 - It is very important that when you go shopping for your tent (or you're finding your tent), you get one that's strong, triple layer made of the highest quality material.

Rule #15 - If the bear attacks with a gun, make sure you cover all of the important parts of your body. The smaller the target the harder it is for a bear to get you.

Rule #16 / Step Number 4 - This is an emergency step, you would never do this unless you were in a extremely dangerous situation... just run. With the help of your buddy (don't forget the buddy system!) you will roll the tent from the inside away from the bear.

Rule #17 - It's important to remember where your tent was when you pitched it.

Rule #18 - At this point the bear should be very intimidated by your skill and athleticism. It may think you and your buddy are now one large creature.

Rule #??? - RAGE, rage against the dying of the light...

Rule #19 - After all that escaping protocol, the bear should be gone by now. But in the case that it's not, just keep going rolling away in the tent.

Rule #20 - Bears are afraid of the sunlight, they can't handle it's intense heat.

Rule #21 / Step Number 5 - And finally, to escape the tent, you have to find it's weakest point and destroy it.

Rule #22 - Nature it's a dangerous place filled with evil, horrible monstrosities that are beautiful in their own way.

How to safely bury your friend:

Rule #23 - Carcasses can attract bears and other wildlife that are opportunistic scavenges.

Rule #24 - For this process you're going to need a shovel and a buddy.

Rule #25 - Don't forget the Buddy System (B.S) or you will DIE.

Rule #26 - The first thing you're going to do is search the area for a proper place for a burial. You want a place with some soft dirt, plenty of open space, and not too near to the campsite.

Rule #27 - Dig six feet down (at the least), so you can put their feet first, then head at the top.

Rule #28 - Your dead body will grow into the environment.

Author's Note: ... I don't trust counselors Mark and Ethan.

Rule #29 - B.D.S.B (Bearing Doesn't Stop Bears)

Rule #30 - You are also going to need a quality shovel that can break through. You want a sharpen blade and a good foot rest.

Rule #31 - Do not, under ANY circumstances, mention the Tactical Shovel to counselor Mark.

Rule #32 - When you're digging a grave you should bring water, remember to stay hydrated!

Rule #33 - You can only absorbe so much sweat you produce. After a while it gets unhealthy, because your body can't filter out the bad water that you produce.

Rule #34 - You piss out of your skin when you can't piss out of anywhere else. So if you drink that, but then you piss it out again, then it becomes Super Piss (and that's not good to consume). But if you drink that then it turns into Ultra Piss, which is very valuable but bad to ingest. It's also incredible dangerous because, while bees can smell fear, they can also see the vapors from the Ultra Piss. So, although rare and easy to sell to a high price, it would attract thousands of bees.

Rule #35 - B.E.C.W.U.B (Be Extra Careful With [the] Ultra B[P]iss)

Rule #36 - The forest is one of the most polluted places, you can't get a breath of fresh air.

Rule #37 - Your buddy is always a breath of fresh air. (Hey, please don't do what Mark and Ethan did on the video, COVID-19 is still a very, very real thing.)

Rule #38 - Once you are done digging the grave, lay the body on a fetal position. Remember to really support the spine.

Rule #39 - If you can, get a standing grave, it's great for the spine.

Rule #40 - You can feel more productive when you are standing.

Author's Note: ... I really, REALLY don't trust counselors Mark and Ethan. I knew that bacon tasted kinda odd-

Rule #41 - Now all that's left to do is lay your friend to rest.

Rule #42 - Now you can go ahead and say words of rememberness, a testament to their life.

Rule #43 - The truth is the nicest gift you can give anybody.

Rule #44 - If you listen closely when your friend is later rest, you can hear their soul whisper their final thoughts.

Rule #45 - Remember to hit counselor Mark with a stick for waking us up at 6 am using a pan.

Rule #46 - Team building is the most important part of being on a camp. Because you may have your buddy, but we are all a team.

Rule #47 - Trust is the very foundation of any team.

Rule #48 - At any moment your buddy can need you. You'll never know when a bear is going to strike, when a chipmunk is going to go rabid, when a raccoon is going to be sneaky. You've got to be prepared for anything. And above all, you need to be prepared to catch your buddy if they fall.

Rule #49 - When you're in the nature, you are going to be climbing on a lot of things. They may be slippery surfaces, you may be not sure of your footing. You've got to be prepared at any time to catch your buddy.

Rule #50 - The higher the fall the greater the trust. Anyone from your team could be falling at any moment, make sure to catch them.

Rule #51 - Trust counselors Mark and Ethan...?

Rule #52 - Your buddy can fall in any direction, you've got to be ready.

Rule #53 - With a trust fall you've got to trust your buddy, but you gotta trust yourself too.

Rule #54 - No better way to exhibit a team than to show your strength together (by making a human pyramid).

Rule #55 - Tug of War, classic team building from earliest man. Get a rope and you pull, but you've got to make two teams so you can compete and defeat their respective enemy (and they need to die).

Rule #56 - Don't forget, it's hot outside, so make sure you wear your sunscreen and drink plenty of water.

Rule #57 - Start in the middle (the knot needs to be in the middle), and whoever gets it to the point where the winner is obvious.... well, wins precisely.

Author's Note: UNUS! UNUS! UNUS! UN- oh, nevermind.

Rule #58 - The next most important part of team-building is sharing. Sharing with eachother is basically bonding. You learn from eachother, you have openness with eachother, and so on.

Rule #59 - The clue to win Three Legged Pace is coordination.

Rule #60 - It's always important when you go out outside to be prepared, and of course, bring water.

Rule #61 - Make sure to keep cool when you're in the wilderness, it is important for survival. And when you're done drinking water, you can play a little football with your friend using the leftover bottle.

Rule #62 - While playing Three Legged Egg Balance, remember to keep a steady "one-two" rhythm.

Rule #63 - FIRE IS NO JOKE. Don't play around with it.

Rule #64 - Knowing how to built a fire is one of the most important skills at Camp Unus Annus. With it you can cook your food, disinfect your water, clean your clothes, stay warm and call grandma.

Rule #65 - And if your grandparents are death, stare deeply into the fire until you see their face swim out of the flames.

Rule #66 - Fire is spelled F-I-R-T. Sorry, I don't make the rules.

Author's Note: Wait a second, are they not Camp Counselors?-

How to built a fire:

Rule #67 / Step Number 1 - Be aware of the current threat level for forest fires. Right now it's midnight. That's B, for Be aware.

Rule #68 / Step Number 2 - Kindling. Be aware, get kindling, find perfect stick (B.A.G.K.F.P.S)

Rule #69 (nice) - Remember, if you want to start a fire get your bag of piss.

Rule #70 / Last Step - Friction. The friction of the stick (zooming around in circles) against the friction of a wooden piece creates smoke signals. The smoke signals will travel to your candling and say "Hey, catch on fire." And in response it will sometimes go "Okay" in an umberwear farm. The umbers are what leads to the fire in an it case of a FIRE. Very important.

Rule #71 - Always have a fire extinguisher (preferably water) just in case something goes wrong.

Rule #72 - Put your prefect stick on your wood base and start rubbing said stick against it.

Rule #73 - Gently blow the base after rubbing the stick, fire needs oxygen to grow.

Rule #74 - If you manage to make a hole through the base, leave the stick there and start spinning it. With the power of insertion, if you get it going fast enough, flames should ignite.

Rule #75 - Fire needs to be seduced.

Rule #76 - To produce the flames you need to sin.

Rule #77 - Satan knows.

Rule #78 - For the love of God, keep counselor Mark away from sharp objects.

Author's Note: ... Does anyone else see the weird man dressed in a black suit outside or it's just me...?

Rule #79 - No matter what goals you may have in life, a little bit of hard work, a little bit of determination, a bit of luck gets you anywhere.

Author's note: Yay escape room! I love those!

Rule #80 - Beware of counselor Evan throwing things at the tents.

Rule #81 - On daytime the bats are squirrels, but on nighttime they are vampires. For this reason you shouldn't be around bats, or they will suck your blood.

Rule #82 - Counselor Mark really loves riddles.

Rule #83 - Stay six feet away from the trees to avoid being attacked by a squirrel.

Rule #84 - The most dangerous things about the deers are their antlers and hooves.

Rule #85 - To survive the snakes you need to: Look, Observe, Scan, React, Run (L.O.S.R.R)

Author's Note: Counselor Ethan is fucking smart, fight me. Also, shout out to counselor Amy because not once have I mentioned her and she's amazing.

Rule #86 - Run away from Mark. JUST RUN.

Rule #87 - Tragically, counselor Mark has turned into the beast called Neanderthalensis Marconius, also known as HeeHoo.

Rule #88 - HeeHoo feeds himself with wild Takis, roaming around the woods butt naked and in solitude...

Rule #89 - If you wish to communicate with the HeeHoo, there are sounds he will react to: Unus Annus.

(And here it is, after nights of work I present to you the -not so official- Unus Annus Rule Manual! This has been a blast, I am so glad I could finally finish it. Camp Unus Annus was absolutely amazing in every sense of the word, thanks Mark, Ethan, Amy and Evan for the experience!)

@tiny-crecher (I am SO sorry-)

@markiplier @crankgameplays

[ladykissingfish]

Under the Mistletoe with the Akatsuki // Part Ten // Zetsu

“So how are they doing?” Zetsu took a moment, to gather his thoughts before answering. Madara would call on him every so often to give updates on the members of the Akatsuki, their successes and failures, their personalities. He asked Obito the same questions, but in truth he trusted Zetsu’s observations a bit more. “The boy has a tendency to let emotion and attachment cloud his overall judgment,” Madara would tell him, over and over again. “I rely on you to give me the facts, and nothing else.” Madara is right in that Zetsu doesn’t have the same connection with the group that Obito seems to have; however, he’s had more fun and more amusement being around this eclectic gathering of souls than he has around anybody else in his long, long life. After his “visit” with Madara, he travels back through the ground to the Akatsuki hideout; just in time for his turn in the Mistletoe game.

Pein

Pein sighs as he approaches the plant-man. He had been hoping that he could avoid this altogether, but apparently his luck had run out. Nagato won’t admit this, because to admit weakness is a failure, but ... Zetsu creeps him out to catastrophic levels. Nagato has dealt with sub-human species before during his travels, but what even was Zetsu? A plant? A man-plant? A mythical creature, a result of an experiment gone wrong? Indeed, Zetsu looks like the type of creation that would step out of one of the traitor Orochimaru’s labs. “Good evening, Leader.” The Pein-body nods and steps closer, steeling himself did this. Zetsu smilles, and Nagato (through Pein) can see splotches of blood dotting the man(?)’s teeth. He must have just eaten, which is good ... not that he would have found the artificial Pein body to taste in anyway pleasant. He gives Zetsu a quick kiss on the forehead, struggling to keep the grimace off his face as he notices how cold, and clammy, and ... inhuman the skin. As he walks away, he could almost swear he can hear Zetsu chuckling to himself ... not that he’s willing to turn around and check for sure.

Konan

Konan’s heart drops when she sees how excited Zetsu looks to see her. He’s smiling and waving to her. “Konan-san! Konan-san!” Still, she can’t help but smile; the voice unmistakably belongs to White Zetsu, the decidedly more friendly (if you could call it that) of the dual-personality plant. When it had been Konan’s turn under the little green plant, Zetsu had refused to kiss her because White Zetsu had proclaimed he “wasn’t ready” and Black Zetsu had berated him for it. Things had changed, apparently, as evidenced by Zetsu reaching out and taking hold of her hands. “Be gentle with me; I’ve never kissed a woman before.” Konan nods, and then she reaches up with her small hands, cups Zetsu’s face, pulls him down to her level and kisses first his forehead, then both cheeks, then his nose, then his lips, softly. Zetsu is stunned: he never imagined his first on-the-lips kiss would be so ... pleasant. “T-thank you, Konan-san.” She nods and smiles, before walking away back to her room. As he watches her leave, he starts to talk to himself. “She smelled good.” “All humans do. It’s their blood.” “It wasn’t her blood; it was just her. Her skin. Her hair. She was —“ “The last thing we’re going to do is act like a fool over some human woman.” White Zetsu blushes; he doesn’t think he’s acting like “a fool” at all. Kissing Konan was just an interesting experience, that’s all. Another checkpoint on a long, looong list of interesting experiences.

Kakuzu

“This is it, right? This is the last one? Thank God; now we can all go back to doing more productive things with our time.” Zetsu blinks when Kakuzu says that; out of all the members of this group, THIS man was the most no-nonsense, serious guy Zetsu had ever met. He always had his eye on the bottom line, and was more focused on money than Zetsu would have believed possible. About a year back he had approached Zetsu with his idea to start a vegetable garden in order to cut back on market cost of food, to which Zetsu agreed. Taking care of plants was second nature to him; what he DIDN’T expect was that, quite often, Kakuzu would join him in the garden. The old guy had a surprisingly green thumb, and being in the garden seems to give him some much-needed peace. It was during one of these quiet times, as Kakuzu was tending to some tomatoes, that he confessed, quietly, that working in the dirt reminded him of his mother. “We had no money. My mother used to labor on neighboring farms for food or vegetable seeds. She created a beautiful garden, better produce than any of the farms around us. So we never went without.” Kakuzu approaches him now, his mask already lowered, and he delivers a light kiss to Zetsu’s forehead. As he’s about to leave, Zetsu informs him that he’s gotten hold of some rare flower seeds, and asks if he wants to plant them later. “You can’t eat flowers; if you’re not growing something for food then what purpose does it have?” “It provides beauty. Doesn’t that count for something?” Kakuzu rolls his eyes but there’s a smile on his face, which he quickly covers by pulling up his mask. “I’d be glad to help,” he says, gruffly, before leaving.

Sasori

Another no-nonsense, extremely straightforward Akatsuki member. One thing about Sasori that Zetsu will never understand is Hiroku. Why does the redhead choose to hide himself in that hideous carapace when his OWN puppet body was undoubtedly stronger, faster, and had a higher-level weapons capacity? For that matter, why would a perfectly healthy young man choose to rip out his own humanity and turn himself into such a creation in the first place? Mysteries bounded concerning Sasori of the Red Sand, and even someone as world-weary as Zetsu was in no hurry to uncover them. “Good evening, Sasori-san.” Sasori grunts in return; for once, he’s in his own body. Sasori doesn’t seem at all eager to take the initiative, so Zetsu leans down and kisses him on the forehead instead. He licks his lips at the pleasant woody taste that floods into his mouth; being near Sasori reminds him of peaceful days spend photosynthesizing in the forest, taking in the air of nature while the sun beat down on his face. Sasori leaves while Zetsu is lost in this lovely thought.

Itachi

Zetsu would often look at Itachi and think, this child is in trouble. His scent was wrong, his chakra was wrong, and his mental state ... couldn’t have been all that good. Zetsu is the Akatsuki’s spy but he knows for certain that Itachi is one too, that he never cut his ties to that village of his and centered his (and everyone else’s movements) away from his home as much as possible. Zetsu could expose him to everyone, but ... what would be the point? After all, even Madara is only an unwitting puppet in the grand scheme of things to come, and Itachi ... the group was made just that much more powerful with him in it. Zetsu often wishes that Itachi, not Madara and not Obito, was the Uchiha “in charge”; but that wouldn’t work. Itachi’s raw intelligence was a force to be reckoned with, and he wouldn’t take lightly (or at all, really) to being “used” by anyone. Although, in Zetsu’s opinion, nobody on earth could possibly use the sweet boy worse than his own village had. “Good evening, Zetsu.” So polite. So pleasant, even to those who didn’t deserve it. This child, it would be a tragedy when he passed. Zetsu quickly leans down and kisses his cheek, noting how cold the young Uchiha was. “You should warm up with a blanket, Itachi. You’re freezing.” Itachi nods, and then he bids Zetsu a good evening as he walks slowly back to his room.

Deidara

“Oi, Zetsu! Look at what I made!”, Deidara exclaims as he approaches him, holding up a small clay bird. “Isn’t it sublime?!” Zetsu simply nods; in truth, ALL of Deidara’s creations, no matter what they are, look boringly similar to Zetsu. And he didn’t understand the young blonde’s way of taking such careful, meticulous care in sculpting these things ... only to have them explode a few seconds later. And the art pieces weren’t the only closure things about Deidara, as Zetsu had observed many times that the kid just wasn’t the best at controlling his temper. Zetsu would often question Obito as to why he continued to let himself be partnered with him, as Tobi’s idiotic tendencies would surely get Obito killed one day. All Obito would do is shrug and say that Deidara wasn’t that bad. Well, whatever; Zetsu didn’t intend to spend too much time thinking about it. Thinking that it’s about time to do something different with this game, Zetsu takes hold of Deidara, tilts him backwards by the waist, leans down and kisses his neck. When he keys Deidara back up, the guy is as red as a tomato. “What the hell? What was that for??” “Has anybody ever told you that you’re very aesthetically pleasing?” “Aesth-what? You’re not making any sense, weirdo!” Zetsu just smiles and pulls Deidara back to him, this time enveloping him in a soft hug. “You make a tedious time much more bearable. Please continue to do so ... with your art.” Deidara doesn’t really get what Zetsu means, but his ears did pick up Zetsu’s compliment(?) to his art, so he walks away happy.

Kisame and Hidan

The half-shark and the half-plant relate to each other on their carnivorous tendencies, and Zetsu at least is glad to have at least one other person in the Akatsuki that understands his dietary choices. Well, almost. “I’ve eaten a lot of weird meats, Zetsu-san, but I’ve yet to taste human flesh.” “A shame; it really tastes a lot like salty pork.” Then Zetsu lowers his voice and asks, with an unsettling smirk, “Say you decided you want to try a human. IF you could eat any member of the Akatsuki, consequence-free, who would it be?” Zetsu is half-kidding and doesn’t expect Kisame to answer, so he’s surprised when he answers, without hesitation, “Hidan.” “That’s odd; that would be my choice, too. The scent of blood is always on him. Well-seasoned entree.” Kisame bursts out laughing, and Hidan, who happens to be walking by, hears him and stops. “What’s so funny, freak? You laughin’ about mouth-fucking Bigger Freak over there?” Kisame smiles, showcasing ALL of his sharp teeth; and Zetsu says, quietly, “You smell good, Hidan. Can you come closer so that I can catch a better whiff?” and something about the look he’s giving him makes Hidan’s blood run cold. “No fucking way, you crazy weed!” He informs Zetsu that he’s not going to kiss him, and he walks backward to his room, keeping a close eye on Kisame and Zetsu until he reaches his door ... and locks it. Kisame laughs once more, and then he leans into Zetsu and kisses his cheek, before returning to his own room. On his way down the hall he stops at Hidan’s door and says, sweetly, “Have a good night, brat!” which is met with loud cursing behind the wood.

Tobi

When Zetsu first laid eyes on a much younger Obito, he was positive that the kid wouldn’t live through the night. Bloodied, bruised, and with half of his internal organs either rearranged or crushed entirely — “No. He is strong.” Zetsu could only look at Madara in disbelief; what about this dying child seemed in any way “strong”? But then Obito lived through that night, and the next, and before Zetsu knew it, he was taking his place in the grand scheme of this Akatsuki Madara had put together. But for the longest time, Zetsu was sad anytime he so much as looked at “Tobi”; he had watched a bright young boy whose hope couldn’t be crushed even by a boulder deteriorate into an angry, vengeful man who had witnessed (and been mentally and emotionally damaged by) the deaths of all that he once held dear. But a miracle of sorts began slowly unfolding; the more time Obito spent around these people, the happier he seemed to become. It was as though he’d regained his family; and although these individuals are really nothing more than fodder for what’s to come, Zetsu is happy that they are managing to provide Obito with the peace that he deserves. “Tobi” approaches him now, and, seeing that they’re alone, chances it to take off his mask. “Long day,” he says, using his own voice, to which Zetsu agrees. “Longer when you’re starving.” Obito smiles at the comment, and his childlike grin shows flashes of the boy who danced in triumph when he was able to complete a set of push-ups on his own. “You’re always starving though.” “You’re not one to talk; I watched you put away at least eight trays of dango yesterday.” The two chuckle, and Obito moves closer, looking shy now. “Ready?” Zetsu nods, and Obito leans in and kisses the corner of his mouth, just barely touching the bottom of Zetsu’s lips. During the kiss, Zetsu closes his eyes and inhales; all of the candy and pastries that the man ate gave him a delightfully natural, sweet scent. Obito slides his mask back on and turns to go, but before he gets far, Zetsu calls out to him, “Hey?” “Yeah?” “I have a serious question for you.” “What is it?” Using White Zetsu’s voice, and making his grin even wider, Zetsu asks, “All that crap you eat ... does it make you have to crap a lot during the day?” Obito’s face turns red behind the mask and he bursts out into a raucous laugh. “All these years! All these YEARS and YOU’RE STILL ASKING ME ABOUT CRAPPING!” He laughs so hard that he wakes up Deidara, whose room is closest to the living room area. “Tobi, what the fuck?! Go to bed before I stick a kunai up your ass!” Obito immediately goes into Tobi-mode and apologizes to his Senpai. Deidara goes back to his room and Obito gives one last wave to Zetsu before going to his own.

[hyperfixationtimego]

Happy little hcs to atone for my sins

Taka and Hina are study buddies

Sometimes Aoi manages to get Taka off track because she’s just so enthusiastic and wants to hear about all of her friends’ hyperfixations and special interests

37.2 minutes later

Taka’s infodumping about how he despises moral philosophy but also thoroughly enjoys it bc that’s how moral philosophers are

Or he’s infodumping about political science and debate tactics and how speeches were effective or not for various reasons

Sakura and Mondo work out together

It started off as a coincidence when they were in the gym at the same time but it kept happening so they called it a schedule

They talk about their SOs and they’re smiling

Sakura teaches Mondo certain stretches and exercises to help relax different muscle groups for whenever he pulls a muscle or has a flare up from the thing with the bikes

Leon constantly asks Chihiro to turn alter ego into a vocaloid or at least program a bit of that tech into their system

Bc he would rather shave his head again than talk to Sayaka about producing music

He just has so many ideas

And it’s cool when there are kinda punk rock songs that are covered in an 8-bit or a vocaloid style

Byakuya and Celeste have a small series of bets with low stakes about what their inferiors classmates will do to lead up to them jingling away morosely like the fools they are

Sayaka shamelessly advertises her group’s mercy to her classmates and friends

Everyone gets their nails painted at some point

Nobody knows how Byakuya got roped into it but it worked

Makoto has rainbow loom

Atua forgives you

anyway YEAH LEGIT?

Hina has fully and thoroughly fallen in love with all of her friends and classmates’ expressions whenever they’re talking about something that excites them omg 🥺

she sees someone rambling and having a good time and hears the enthusiastic pitch of their voice as well as the general Vibe™️ that they’re giving off and she just???? [Y E A R N]

:)

and also just???? her and taka being study buddies is so valid oh my god??? they’re really close because of it!!! And Taka always loves hanging out with her because he knows she’ll let him just Talk??? and he adores that about her????? And she’ll be ENGAGED which!!!!!! oh my god!!!!?????

hi in this house we love and adore hina

And Sakura and Mondo???? absolutely?????

they have friendly competitions over who can lift the most weights/do the most reps/etc. (they do it sparingly, ofc! bc Sakura at least knows that they’ll both be subconsciously trying to beat the other as opposed to listening to what their bodies need in the moment. Sakura is the single braincell of class 78 no I won’t take it back because it’s true)

and they totally doooooo like they both get such cute loveydovey pining expressions whenever it’s Their Turn™️ to discuss the latest cute thing their partner(s) did. and listening to the other talking???? oh my god it’s literally the neatest thing????

Sakura looking at Mondo: I would die for this man

Mondo looking at Sakura: this woman is literally beauty and perfection in human form

THEY’RE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS OKAY???

also chihiro joins them for training sometimes!!!! She obviously isn’t able to do as much as the other two are, but both Sakura and Mondo are always so proud of her progress??? They’re like “you are so cool and strong do you know that??? you better know that”

and speaking of chihiro hdbdvdvdvdvdvdvdvd on GOD Leon will Not leave them alone abt it and they’re just like

“y....you do NOT have the attention span,.......you’re gonna get frustrated within like the first five minutes......and then I’ll have done all that work for nothing..............”

but Leon’s >:( no I won’t!!!! music is my Passion!!!!!!!!

so it’s like *sigh* okay

and anyway leon genuinely does rlly like it???? like he gets burned out very easily and can only compose things in short bursts, but he’s always so so so proud of the finished products??? (Even if nobody else likes it but shush 😌)

and it makes chihiro :D to know that something she made (even if it was done with reluctance) has brought one of her closest friends so much happiness????? she’s also like good for Leon but also if he ever bothers them about something like that again they are Literally Going to Snap but that’s another story for another day vwv

AND YEAH LIKE. HE DOESN’T MIND TALKING TO HER ABT MUSIC IN GENERAL BECAUSE IT’S AN INTEREST THEY SHARE (quite possibly one of the only times they will have a conversation without one constantly insulting the other ❤️) BUT. ADMITTING TO HER THAT HE NEEDS HELP WITH IT IS THE WORST HE HATES IT HE HATES IT HSBDBSBD

god okay so. his first impression of her when they had just come to hope’s peak and met for the first time was “oh my god!!! she’s a pop idol!!! so she must know a lot about music!!! maybe she’ll help me become a popular musician!!!” and her immediate reaction when she first heard him ask was to literally roll her eyes and he was like oh okay fuck her actually

and then slow burn enemies-to-friends 💛

WHEBDVSVS CELESTE AND BYAKUYA JUST BEING RICH ASSHOLES IS SO FUNNY??? LIKE THEY HAVE WEALTH SOLIDARITY AND THEY ACT ALMOST LIKE alright your status makes you worthy of my time, I suppose-

they’ve had bets on everything from how many times kirigiri will pass out from exhaustion by the end of the school day, to how long it’ll take before Kirumi finally Loses Her Shit, to how many people will be harmed by Komaeda’s luck while hanging out with him.

Mfs about to die smh

and dhdbwvwbsvwvwb yeah like??? sometimes a normal conversation with maizono will turn into her being like “yeah, and by the way, if you’re looking for a change of style and wardrobe, you should check out the newest shirt my band just released as part of our merch drop, and-”

Makoto is the one who gets baited into her merch ads most often sndbsbsbdbdbw

even mentioning the word “merch” around Leon or Kaz will earn her a lot of groaning and sighing, and occasionally a pillow or other soft object being hurled at her face 💛

oh my god they all have a manicure spa day,,,,,,,class bonding 🥺

hdbdvdvdv they got Jill to break into his dorm and kidnap him ngl like the specifics they gave her were something along the lines of “use as much force as you need to without killing him” and she was like “DONE”

and okay I’m not gonna talk abt everyone’s nails but now I’m thinking about it and like-

Sayaka gets like a lighter violet background with gold and white stars smattered around them, more concentrated in some areas than others, and it’s generally very pretty 🥺

chihiro’s are a different solid pastel color on each finger!!! it’s very kidcore and fun and they love it so muchhhh!!!

leon gets a little self-conscious when it’s his turn because his nails are highkey disgusting from all the time he spends playing baseball - there’s dirt trapped under them and everything so he’s just like hhhhhhh anxiety go brrrr but anyway he gets solid black because he’s edgy and cool like that 😎

I think Taka gets a French manicure with little dark red flowers pressed towards the tips because!!! simple yet pretty!!!

Celeste probably takes the longest because her request is sooooo complicated like it’s black and red and long ass acrylics with overlapping patterns and everyone else just kinda sits there feeling h o r r i b l e for that poor nail stylist

Toko gets a checkerboard pattern, with each nail having a different neon color in place of white!!! Because she knows that Jill will find it cool and pretty and colorful the next time she fronts (visual stimming jill?? 👀)

Togami just picks whatever will get him out of the chair quickest hdbsvdvdvdbdbdb

anyway Makoto????? rainbow loom????? absolutely

he has so many bracelets!!!!! so many so many so many and he knows how to create such a wide variety of styles it’s so cool!!!!!! he wears a bunch of them at any given time because they are so fun to fidget with!!!! and rubber texture hvvvvhvv!!!!

and he creates personalized ones for his friends, too, like he knows their favorite colors and sometimes picks up on whether they prefer a certain style or not from the way they react to the other ones he’s made and it’s!!! just so neat!!!!!

I’m thinking about it and!!! he has a bi pride fishtail, a trans pride arrow stitch, a black and neon green railroad, a pastel pink/blue/purple/yellow ladder, a jelly yellow and green dragon scale, a rainbow double cross, and a bunch more!!! he also has a bunch with charms and beads added into them!!!!

He also makes them for his friends even if he knows they won’t wear them!! Like Toko, for example, isn’t the biggest fan of jewelry because she doesn’t like the texture, but he creates one for her anyway and fills it with so much love (it looks like a daisy chain!!!! because at least she’ll be able to look at it and hold it and still be interested in it without it needing to be on her wrist!!!)

he makes a ton of bright colored ones for Mukuro (usually either single or inverted fishtail because he knows she wouldn’t enjoy wearing anything too heavy or overbearing) so that she has more mobile visual stims!!!

similar for Jill!! although most of hers tend to be black and bright neon rainbow in various bulkier styles!!!! Jill will also force him to let her look at his bracelet-covered arm whenever they hang out because. my god,,,,,,so many Colors™️

he’s found that togami prefers black and white simpler styles, and that Kyoko absolutely adores singles, fishtails, and double fishtails in any shade of purple, and that Mondo likes any of the larger styles in darker colors + blacks and grays!!! Chihiro loves anything with jelly and glitter bands!!!

Leon usually only wears one at a time, but he cycles through every single one that his boyfriend’s ever made for him because????? GOD they’re so cool and his boyfriend is so crafty and incredible and just,,,,,,,,,hvvvhvv every time he looks at the one he’s wearing he’s able to calm himself down and remember that Makoto loves him........it’s also very good for stim and fidgeting <3

anyways sorry yes Makoto with a rainbow loom is filling me with serotonin and it’s canon now

[loominggaia]

Fan Creation: Nekos

Anonymous asked:

Okay I have put way, way to much thought into the cat girl monsters recently so here’s the results overthinking my joke post. The Neko is lv.3 humanoid monster created by the late zareenite ceo, Nelon Husk. While not a divine himself he is credited for having forged them, commissioning their creation by business partner/ co-owner of their company and a dworf divine, Mr. Hosfeild. The Neko where created out of Husk lust, him being a big hentia fan with a huge cat girl fetish.

Dissatisfied with normal women he sought to bring his porno fantasies to life. Husk was aware of the creation of demons and scoffed at ermos’s story, believing him to be a fool who didn’t create his monsters right. Believing himself smarter then a pathetic satyr, Husk found commissioned a divine, Mr. Hosfeild into creating his wanted cat girls. If they met his high standards Husk would make him a co-owner and business partner, he obviously accepted the challenge.

Mr. Hosfeild was no stranger to business and saw the young, mortal human as a lustful fool, but went along with it his scheme if he was that generous. What Mr.Hosfeild was unfamiliar with however was monster forging, given a lab and whatever resources he asked for by Husk he set to work creating the perfect cat girl by his clients strict list of criteria. On that list was that while they where to be lustful their satisfaction was not to be based entirely on sex.

In that stead he made their satisfaction more material based. After afew trial runs and failures eventually Mr.Hosfeild created a cat women who met all Husk standards and actually exceeded them. Thirty more “Neko’s” as they where named where created to fill out Husk harem and Mr.Hosfeild enjoyed his newfound position as co-owner. At first things seemed to going very well for husk and his feline harem, him enjoying fulfilling all his perverted and spoiling his Neko harem rotten.

He lavished his cat girl harem with gifts, positions in the company and whatever they wanted, whenever they asked. Knowing their loyalty was based off material satisfaction Husk thought that would be no problem seeing his great fortune. Things however would not stay this great for very long as many problems would soon arise. The more he spoiled his cat wives the more greedy they got, their demands got more frequent and more expensive.

They had also rapidly increased in number, going from the 31 originals to now well over 330 in less then five years. This was fixable according to him, as with how successful they where he and Hosfeild where taking about a new business idea to start selling these feminine feline monsters to consumers. He would never get to see this however as the company which had been in Husk family for generations was starting to tank due to his harem and neglect.

As his harem grew more demanding he started having to spend more time attempted to their desires then to his responsibilities as CEO. More and more money was being funneled to feed their ever expanding desires then to other more vital aspects, which alongside some of the Nekos taking to harassing employees caused many to quit. Firing and replacing a lot of chief personal with his Neko wives was not a smart idea either. At this point the Hosfeild became the only thing keeping the company alive.

Not only was his business life suffering but his personal life to. His neko wives where growing restless as his ability to satisfy them began to wane. Their loyalty and affection towards him began to decay, them growing violent when he couldn’t get them what they wanted fast enough. Clawing and biting him, tearing up his belongings and mansion and even stealing money directly from his personal and company accounts.

Eventually husk snapped, realizing his dream had become a nightmare. He blamed Hosfeild for his current predicament and fired him on the spot, believing he somehow programmed the Nekos to turn into these greedy monsters behind his back. Hosfeild denying such accusations and told him it’s entirely his fault he’s in this predicament, he’s the one that wanted and army cat women after all. After removing Hosfeild Husk sought to get rid of the cat girls so they would no longer plauge him.

Telling his harem to leave was of the table as they laughed him out of the room when he tried. Being more creative Husk used his rapidly dwindling funds to hire a small militia group to completely exterminate the Nekos. His plan was to lure his harem into a inescapable trap where the militia will ambush open fire on them, hopefully killing them all. All seemed to be going as planned but before it could be enacted someone in the militia group snitched to his harem about the death trap.

Enraged the whole hoard of Nekos turned on Husk, everyone descending onto him to rip him apart before fleeing. Weeks later authorities found him, or Atleast what was left of him. All they found was the mansion completely torn apart, claw marks everywhere with furniture, art, lighting everything in the house completely destroyed. They found the pieces of Nelon Husk body scattered all around the trashed mansion, looking as if he’s been torn apart and eaten by wild cats.

By that point the killer cat girls had long since fled, taking to the streets of zareen in search of new masters to spoil them. After his death Mr.Hosfeild bought and quickly restored the company back to a working state. In truth he had known something like this might happen and though it served that fool right. Mr.Hosfeild kept remembered the designer monster idea he and the late husk had and decided to run with it, the Neko thing being only a minor setback.

Biding his time and gathering reassures, infrastructure and patents to create designer monsters for consumer production and pleasure. Hopefully of a less perverted kind. That conclude the origin story of the Nekos, and what was originally just a joke post. BYW expect Chptr 11 of New York to be coming really soon.

As for Neko biology they look like a cross between a human women and a house cat in a similar orientation to faunae. Neko may actually be mistaken for faunae but lack horns and look more like house cats then wild cats. They range greatly in skin and fur colors and body shapes but all are beautiful in appearance. They keep their youthful appearance all throughout their short life. Their lifespan is similar to a cats, becoming adults by three years old and live about 16-20yrs.

Despite their beauty and grace they are rather dangerous having the strength, agility, senses and razor sharp claws and fangs of big cats. They also have a lot of feline behaviors such as scent marking, licking themselves to clean, pooping in dirt, climbing into high places and so on. Their general attitude is described as aloof, selfish and finicky, switching moods at seemingly the drop of a hat. One minute their affectionate and the next their claws and hissing for no reason.

Nekos are very similar to demons and are often compared to them. Both have a similar origin story and are rather lustful, being lusty and affectionate of a chosen master and turn violent of said master is unable to satisfy them. While a demons loyalty is bought by sexual satisfaction, a Nekos loyalty is bought by material satisfaction. Nekos are an all female species and where made to require human men to reproduce. Unlike demons who go after lonely, pathetic people Nekos target the wealthy.

While male humans are preferred, they will target anyone of suitable wealth. Once they find a prime mate or “master” they will proposition them into a sugerbaby type arrangement where they provide sex in return for being pampered. If they say no then the Neko will leave but if they say yes then they become their master. Despite the known risk many rich folk accept becoming a Nekos master, finding their exotic beauty irresistible (the mating pheromones Neko’s secrete defintionly helps in this).

Once a person has chosen to become a Nekos master they will be lavished in affection and sex by the Neko in return for pampering her. For as long as the master can continue to meet his feline mistress’s demands she will stay loyal to him. If they fail to meet her demands that’s when the problems start, Nekos are much like the humans and house cats that make them, their never satisfied with what they have and get greedier the more their pampered.

The longer a Neko is pampered the more demanding they become. Their request become more extreme and become violent when their demands are not met or are below their standards. Their known to claw at and bite their masters, leaving them with nasty wounds. Their rage is not limited to their master but also towards their family and belongings as well, stealing valuables and destroying furniture to make their point known or even attacking the masters family.

If the Nekos demands continue to not be met their tantrums get more frequent and violent. Until eventually they either leave on their own or outright attack their master, their being many cases of Nekos mauling their masters to death in their greed fueled tantrums. Like Demons are their are Nekos who don’t mean harm but struggle to control their desires.

Their range is mostly limited to Evik, with high concentrations found in Zareen. These monsters are generally considered pest with many public psa’s warning people to not get involved with them.

Anon, I love this. I know it’s supposed to be a bit of a shitpost, but it’s honestly great. It has so many elements of classic folklore but with a silly urban twist. As soon as I saw the name Nelon Husk I thought “Oh, this is gonna be good” lmao

The sad thing is, I could totally see some wackjob Zareenite CEO doing something like this...I think realistically, the Zareenite military would have exterminated these things before they got out of control, but who knows. Anything can happen, especially when rich people are involved and bribing everyone in sight.

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Weird, “The Dark God.... Pizza”

This idea was given to me by an anonymous reader suggested this idea for one of my shorter posts. 

As usually, I always love ideas, questions, messages, and comments. Feel free do do any and all of the above. :)

Report ID 2241567

Author Krill

Humans and Food

1.       After some research, it has been brought to my attention that my theories on Pizza were mildly incorrect. Pizza is not a political leader, celebrity or dark god. It is in fact, a food that humans like…. A lot….. I cannot stress to you how under exaggerated that is. If it was socially acceptable to name your first born after this food, than humans would gladly do it.

I still have my doubts on weather this pizza is a dark god or not because how could humans be so interested in a flat bed of carbohydrates covered with curdled cow secretions, cow shavings, and tomato paste? I have no idea….

Though, if there is a Pizza religion, I am under the impression it a minor sin to put Pineapple as one of the toppings, or so I understand.  

2.       Although, to discuss the topic of food, I must first explain that humans require intra-body consumption of outside energy to fuel their body. This means taking objects from the enviornment and putting it into their bodies. This wouldn’t be so weird since we know other species that preform this practice, but the issue is, humans will eat ANYTHING.

a.       Plant products

b.      Animals

c.       Fungi

d.      Seeds

3.       Those being the major food groups, I have yet to describe all the seemingly inedible foods humans consume that include poisonous compounds either because it tastes good or because they quote on quote “Think it’s fun.”

a.       Potatoes, a dirty ground root that contains solanines when old. Humans are excessively obsessed with potatoes and all the dirt that comes with them.

b.      Human’s favorite fruit, apples, contain cyanide. Ok yeah it’s just in the seeds, but do the humans carefully cut these out. No they eat the whole damn thing as if begging the universe to just go ahead and kill them.

c.       Oh humans also love spicy peppers. What do I mean Spicy, I mean it burns. As in literally. The chemicals inside peppers are poisonous enough that pain receptors in the mouth respond and create a burning sensation. Humans love peppers even as they cry and snot and dribble all over themselves because the pain. HUMANS LOVE THE TASTE OF PAIN.

4.       Important note. Never take a human’s food. I know you have no reason to take it, but don’t move it either. They get extremely territorial of their food. If you need it, ask politely. They will be more than willing to give it to you, but if you don’t you could

a.       Be socked in the face

b.      Get bitten

c.       Loose a friend

d.      Make an enemy

e.      Make the human cry

f.        Forfeit your life to the human god of YOU BASTARD YOU JUST ATE MY FOOD IM GOING TO F****** KILL YOU

                                                               i.      Note, I have never heard of this god being referenced in conversation, but I am still 100% sure that he exists.

5.       Humans love colored food specifically when it is paired with sugar. The best way to make friends with a human is to offer them delectable rainbow comestibles.

a.       They can be sticky

b.      Hard

c.       Stretchy

d.      Gummy

e.      On a stick

f.        In a box

g.       In a wrapper

h.      Or you can just go ahead and poor straight sugar into a tiny bag, color it up a little, and make it incendiary. No I am not kidding, Humans have a candy that explodes in your mouth.

6.       Oh, relating to number 5, some humans aren’t happy unless the candy is sour. This means that if it doesn’t pucker every orifice on their body, than it isn’t sour enough. If it’s any good it should screw up the face, lock up the anus, and make your entire body hurt.

7.       Some humans have a condition where they want to eat things that ARENT food. This includes plastic bags, the stuffing out of mattresses, dirt, rocks, toilet paper, and one time an entire AIRPLANE, not even joking… not…. Not even a little.

8.       Oh, as an addition to number 7, human stomach acid can dissolve steel, and for the rest of their life, their body will have to constantly replace the lining of their stomach so that the acid doesn’t chew its way through their backbone, out their back, and onto the floor.

9.       Also the humans like to throw minor drugs into their food. This includes coffee, tea and, sodas. They become mildly addicted to these drugs, and none of the humans will admit it, but many of them are addicted, have a serious problem and really should stop but no, they won’t because it helps them get up in the morning. Idiot morons.

10.   Oh  you know how I said Pizza is the dark god of food? Well if Pizza is the dark god, than chocolate is the Megagod used to bribe angry female humans into not destroying life on earth as they know it. Chocolate can be used to appease the male of the species, but it is much less effective. If you want to appease the male human give them a Beer. Even if they are still made at you, the ethanol content will make them slow, uncoordinated, and stupid, and they will likely trip over themselves as you run away.

a.       Note, this may require more than one alcoholic beverage to do so, the human liver is very productive.

Back to chocolate though. It comes in many forms, squares, triangles, cylinders, circles, frozen cow secretions, warmed and mixed with water, cold and mixed with cool cow secretions. Congealed and turned into a gelatinous slow moving magma that they drip into or onto cow secretions  

11.   Have I mentioned the fact that humans drink the byproducts of other animals, originally intended for other animal’s offspring? Yeah, that one is weird.

12.   BECAUSE WHO THE ACTUAL F*** WAS THE FIRST HUMAN WHO DECIDED TO DRINK FROM A COW NIPPLE.

[nanominyo]

The rulers of my world :’D

More about them underneath the cut

The King of The Ardelian Kingdom:

Age: ???

Magic: Undecided

Gender: Male

Specie: Fae

Years on Throne: 283 years

The King of Ardelia is actually a good king. Depending on country may he meet up in his warfare clothes (Depicted) or his royal clothing. In countries like Shuirin, Reayeria and Qutetish does he always meet up in his warfare clothing, while I Countries like Silverroot and Dotish does he meet up in his royal clothing.

He has kept peace with other countries for his 283 years on the throne but here in the later years are countries like Shuirin and Qutetish looking negatively on him being a pro-Beastmen for his country.

He has deals with Reayeria that they’ll sail their beastmen to his country once a month to keep the peace between them. He also has peace contracts with Silverroot and Dotish and are training both of these young rulers to become good rulers.

The story of how he became a King of Ardelia is still unclear but a Rumor is that the tavern he often visits in Rane City is owned by the original royal line which he should have stolen the throne from.

(Ardelia ends up losing a big chunk of lands towards east (The land turning towards Qutetish) in war but ultimately wins over Shuirin in the west. The capital of Ardelia is still on Ardelian land at the end of the story but is known by the time traveler to be lost later on and a new country forms in its place: Ardia)

The Emperor of the Qutetish Empire:

Age: 57

Magic: Body/Earth

Gender: Male

Specie: Half-Elven

Years on Throne: 23 years

The Emperor of the Qutetish Empire took over from his father who was an Elven. It is said the original Qutetish Empire originally only belonged to Elven people but after conquering the neighboring countries and becoming one big empire has the people been mixed – this means that most of the citizens that live in Qutetish are some of the humans who have the closest to the original Elven people.

The Emperor is a strict man there like his father before him seeks to get more land in his hands. He specially has eyes on Ardelia who is another major power in the world and are on a quest to overthrow Ardelia so he also can get his hands on The Silverrootian Dynasty and The Dotish Kingdom (Both protected by the Ardelian Kingdom), but also have easier access to take over the Reayerian Kingdom and the Shurinian Kingdom.

The Emperor is also against beastmen there isn’t Elven. This means demons, werewolves, Faes etc. which is further used to create hate against Ardelia who is Pro-Beastmen.

There is a thing with the Emperor that always get an extra look:

On the battlefield is he known to be a big strong man physically and magically but when he is home in his palace, is he known to be a big fat man – two very opposite body types. This is because he has Body magic where he can easily alter his body to fulfill the needs of the current events.

The Emperor is known to have a little Harem which is a mix of both men and women, but his heir is a girl who he cherishes a lot. She is unknown to how terrible set the Qutetish Empire and culture is outside the capital.

(In story does the Emperor end up focusing all his men against Ardelia after the “Evil Witch” kills his daughter. Ardelia ends up losing a lot of land to Qutetish due to this – but due to his Focus does he lose land towards south as the Silverrrootian Dynasty attacks his lands)

The Queen of the Reayerian Kingdom:

Age: 32

Magic: Blood/Mana Control

Gender: Female

Specie: Human

Years on Throne: 5 years

The Queen of Reayeria is known to be both strong and beautiful. From her dark skin and eyes to her muscular body is she known to take physically on hands battle in the arena with the guys and even known to beat them without using her magic.

Despite ruling an island there had little to no vegetation inside the country due to the sleeping volcanos there is now covered in ashes, sand and dirt do the Queen handle her country quite well. Her people love her ruling for her optimistic spirit and for her way to handle the country.

She has created a deal with Ardelia where in trade for the Beastmen does her country get food – this makes both sides happy, though as an extra thanks for the food has she promised to assist Ardelia in war due to the treat that Qutetish has against them. Mainly she has also made this promise to protect her own country (And her country’s gold production).

She also has deals with the northwestern neighbors about the fishing in the sea between them – so despite her war getup is she doing fine.

Overall, despite her dislike towards Beastmen does she not execute them unlike her mother.

(In story does Reayeria help Ardelia out in war – and thanks to their help also have a place for the citizens to flee too as Ardelia is losing.)

The King (Or ruler) of the Shuirinian Kingdom:

Age: 43

Magic: Light/Dark

Gender: Intersex

Specie: Human

Years on the Throne: 11 years.

The King – or rather the Ruler of Shuirin is a bit of an odd one for the fact they one of the few intersex humans who doesn’t have orc blood in the lineage.

Shuirin is a human purist country – they even have a hate towards Elven people who else are the part of the evolution before the humans.

Of course as a human purist country does Shuirin hate Ardelia but also for the fact Ardelia holds a lot of farm land right up of the country of Shuirin meaning Ardelia control the foods that Shuirin need since Shuirin is very much a country filled with lots of mountains and snow most of the year.

Despite earlier Kings having hold a peace with Ardelia by selling out the iron and silver they get from the mountains in trade for food does the holding Ruler see this as unfair and that Shuirin all along should have the said farm lands instead of being held “hostage” over a thing like food – this is despite the people living at the said farmlands does not feel like they are Shuirinians and feel like they are Ardelians.

Because of this conflict is there also a treat of war from Shuirin against Ardelia.

(In story do they bomb their own citizens, so their citizen becomes corrupted and turn into monsters to be used as a weapon in war against Ardelia. They do lose against Ardelia but Ardelia does not take over the land they won)

The Majesty of the Silverrootian Dynasty:

Age: 19

Magic: Water/Air

Gender: Female

Specie: Human

Years on the throne: 2 years

The Majesty of the Silverrootian Dynasty has a harsh time with only two years on the throne after her parents left the country in utter chaos. For years had her parents had a smaller war ongoing with the Qutetish Empire where they had done everything to protect the cold islands they own against the greedy Emperor and in the end this left her father to be corrupted and turn into a beastman – something her mother who then sat on the throne demanded to get executed – this left the country in chaos as the people now rebelled against the Royal family and even got as far as killing her mother – the People did actually love her father and threw their dislike towards corrupted humans aside when it was shown that even the most prestige of all humans could be corrupted too.

The Majesty at the age of 17 now took over the throne from her parents on the wish of her people but was inexperienced in anything near ruling and this has left her constantly worried about failing as a ruler.

To her luck though did the King of Ardelia come her to rescue and has for the past two years helped her out – both in protecting her country against the Qutetish Army but also had an advisor down to help her learn how to satisfy her people without being a weak ruler. She’s still nervous though from her past experiences but every day she gets better and a little bit more confident.

(In story she actually goes as far to beginning sending out fleets herself to protect her own country with her own strategies and it actually works out really well for her – so well that she even takes over a little piece of land in the south of Qutetish though losing it 4 years later).

The King of the Dotish Kingdom:

Age: 11

Magic: Neutral/Neutral (Magicless).

Gender: Male

Specie: Human

Years on the Throne: 6 years.

The story of how a child became a ruler is following a bit of a classical line: His parents died in war against the Qutetish Empire.

Quickly after his parents’ death did the Ardelian King come to his rescue as he by the age of 5 wanted to be the King – having always followed his parents around out of admiration. He accepted the help from the Ardelian King and got a personal advisor from Ardelia together with the Ardelian King himself showing up now and then to teach him how to be a proper king.

Now 5 years later is he asked for troubling questions since war seems to be a thing, that he now has to take choices around again. He wants the best for his land and people, but now where he is entering a phase as a ruler where Ardelia won’t protect his lands all the time and with the same power as when he was younger does he need to take important choices by himself – though he does not give up and will take it all very seriously.

Dotish unlike a lot of countries around has never had anything against beastmen at all.

(In story does Dotish lose the protection of Ardelia as Ardelia lose against Qutetish but since Silverroot has taken over the south of Qutetish does he keep on working with Silverroot to have an unified army there can protect their lands together.)

[oneofyatosfollowers]

One of a Kind- Chapter 13

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20191861/chapters/53700181

Fanfiction: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13360973/1/One-of-a-Kind

Yato's system hissed in warning, sensing his adrenaline rush and advising against it. He ignored it, grunting as he tried to haul himself to his feet, leaning heavily on his kid. Yukine kept himself in front of Yato, his body barely blocking the torso. Yato squeezed Yukine's shoulder, trying to look around Hiyori at the threat. The other Wall-Hs had scurried behind piles, trying and failing to look as though they've been working the whole time. Only the long haired man with glasses stayed by them, asking the Lieutenant General what the meaning of her visit was.

"Please Lieutenant General Bishamon," Hiyori begged, "I have the plant! It's my duty to bring this to the captain!"

"Yato didn't do anything wrong!" Yukine shouted at her. Bishamon regarded the two through narrowed eyes. The amethyst irises then rested on the Wall-E. She coldly took in his battered form, eyes meeting his with equal hostility. Behind her Kazuma stepped up, his glasses pulling up all the information it could.

"Bishamon, this is the one we we're looking for. He's gravely injured both organically and technically. If we wanted to take him in, now would be the best time." Kazuma's message to her systems read.

"Are we sure that's the plant?" Bishamon sent back. Kazuma's eyes darted across his bifocals, then he nodded.

"So this is what the General meant when he said he 'took care of it'" Kazuma grimaced, clearly able to see all the damage under the tattered wearalls. Bishamon hummed in response. She knew the head of her and her men was strong. Strong enough to stand above them all and beside the captain. But this seemed too much, it passed self defense against a cleaner who traveled with an Eve and a Mo. It seemed this Wall-E was a formidable foe, to be able to cause such damage to the Auto. But, still, nothing the Secur-T and their numbers couldn't handle. There really was no reason for the Co-pilot's involvement. Not only that, but why try to get rid of the plant?

"Why did you attack our co-pilot?" Bishamon addressed Hiyori.

"We didn't! He attacked us!" Hiyori stepped forward, "Please Lieutenant General, the Co-pilot doesn't want us to return to Earth, he's trying to silence us! Yato is not a danger, he's just trying to help me complete my mission!" The Eve held out the plant for everyone to see. The dirty brown glass caught the light and the leaves were shown to be a bit brown at the tips.

"Why would the General try to silence you?" Kazuma asked. Hiyori faltered, looking over her shoulder at the two boys. Yato let out a shuttering breath, then nodded to her in encouragement, eyes hard. His blood still dripped into a small puddle on the floor. Hiyori brought the plant closer to her, just above her heart.

"Because the order was given by a man, centuries ago, to make sure the humans never returned to Earth. We think, w-we think," Hiyori's shoulders curled inward, "We think he was also the one who activated the virus that caused the Wall-Es to slaughter each other." Hiyori said. All eyes went to Yato, his eyes covered by his bangs as his head hung low. From under his arm, Yukine's legs began to shake from the effort of holding up Yato's weight, but he remained strong.

"But Yato doesn't have the virus! If he did he wouldn't have survived this long!" Yukine proclaimed. Bishamon didn't look convinced, scowling in contempt at Yato.

"Or it simply means he was the one to come out on top," She hissed. Hiyori and Yukine flinched, not knowing enough about their companion to refute. Yato's heart went out to them feeling as guilty as it has been for a long time. He finally had the opportunity to do something right, something worthwhile and not futile.

Yato knew about the virus. He knew it was his father that wrote the code and oversaw the production of the first line of cyborgs. Knew how much his father hated the destruction mankind had caused such a beautiful planet. He also knew his father was brilliant and meticulous, there was no way the Wall-Es would have such a drastic malfunction without it being deliberate.

Yato knew about the virus, but not before it was too late. He didn't figure this all out until one of his co-workers snapped and went on a war path. It started to happen every so often, then it seemed to happen more and more frequently. First one, then three, then five, then twelve. Wall-Es living in fear and suspicion of each other, knowing that one can start swinging while the other was turned. It became survival at all cost while fearing for your own sanity. And once Yato put the pieces together, after weeks of denial while scrubbing blood off his hands, he resigned himself to this fate. After all, his father created all the Wall-Es based off of Yato's blueprints, homicidal coding and all. His son, his prototype.

And as a prototype, he was no exception. Yato had snapped, pushed over the edge by the adrenaline of killing a hoard of his fellow Wall-Es in a frantic effort to protect the woman named Sakura. When bodies laid at his feet and crimson stained his clothes, he heaved in a breath and passed out. At least he thought he passed out, but instead of his vision fading to black, it fated to red. His warning system flared up without any text letting him know why. It was like watching a movie thorough a scarlet tint, his body moving on it's own without any feeling. He swung wildly at the bricks and dirt that formed the alley they were in, howling in pain and pleasure at the top of his lungs in a voice that wasn't his. Behind him a he heard a scream.

He remembers having whipped around in slow motion, blue irises surrounded with dark grey scleroses focusing on a woman on the ground. She cried in fear and heartbreak, reaching a hand towards him. Her body temperature glitched into colors of greens and yellows, obscuring the world's beautiful red color he wanted to see. He tries not remember what he did after that, having wandered around with red vision for a long time, longer than any other infected cyborg had. But that might have been because of his prior training in fighting that those who opposed him didn't have. That or his odd sense of survival that seemed to run in the family. He had a reputation to uphold after all.

But then, one day, something kicked in. A flash of white text cut across his movie screen and said 'LifeLine Activated', then he could suddenly control his bloodstained fingers. His vision had cleared and his body was once again his to control, finally allowing him to fall to his knees and sob. It left him to hang on to the last words his one and only friend had spoken, forgiveness directed at him. The others that remained feared him after that, keeping their distance as he desperately tried to contact the man who created him only to come up empty. Desperately tried to isolate whatever was in his system that worked as an anti-virus, so he could save what little life was left on the massive planet. But the Wall-Es attacked each other, falling one by one, till he was the only one left, a fixed but broken machine.

"My name is Yaboku Kotonoha, son of the famous Dr. Kotonoha, who is known as 'The Father of Cyborgs' or simply as 'The Crafter'. I am a Waste Allocation Load Lifter: Earth class; ID 001-Prototype. The virus was over-rided by a code done by my father. I can assure you I'm no longer a threat. He is the man that gave the order A1-13 to the Auto, assuring humanity never returns to Earth. The Auto is the threat, to both Earth and the people, including the captain." Yato informed the room. By the end of his speech, Yato had became out of breath. He tried to stand strong, but the lack of oxygen in his battered lungs was making him light headed. Good thing Yukine was still right by his side, supporting him.

Bishamon's eyes narrowed as she repeated the last of the Wall-E's words, but her glare was shifted to Hiyori who repeated her plea to finish her task. Bishamon regarded the room in thoughtfulness. The situation was starting to make sense but she still didn't know what to make of it. She looked to her Major General for advice.

"If he was made by The Crafter than that means he was trained by the same man as our co-pilot. That could explain how he was able to stand up to him and the other Wall-Es. If it got out that the second in command of Heaven's Sun was created and raised the same as a Wall-E then," Kazuma's sentence trickled off. It was just speculation, but at the very least the Wall-E's name and ID aligned with Kazuma's records, this made his story plausible. (Even if it did say he was deceased). Bishamon knew as much.

"Well regardless, that doesn't explain the A1-13 protocol." Bishamon said. But, she looked to the plant in the Eve's hand. The human Eve of a wealthy, noble family of doctors. She had no reason for deception and was simply following her purpose. And Bishmon's purpose was to protect the lives and happiness of the humans of this ship. The Lieutenant General spun around to face her line of most loyal troops, arms behind her back, feet in line with her shoulders.

"Listen up," her voice boomed, "we need to do everything in our power to get this plant to the ship's mainframe without the knowledge of our General." The Secur-T gasped, questioning their leader's betrayal.

"It has always been our mission to keep the population safe until our return to Earth. I don't obey this 'Crafter' I obey the captain of Heaven's Sun who's under threat by his co-captain. We must save the ship!" Bishamon declared. The line of Secur-Ts let our a cheer, saluting her and promising to follow her to the end. She nodded at them with a determined smile, then looked to the two Secur-Ts that had accompanied the Go-4 when Yato first arrived.

"Kuruha, Kinuha, Kazuma and I will find the captain, you two will then guard him. Get his side of the story as well." Bishamon commanded them. The two nodded and broke from the line.

"Wait!" Hiyori stepped closer to Bishamon, "Watch out for the Go-4 too. He's on Kouto's side!" Hiyori told them, to the groups surprise. Bishamon's eyes widened, her mouth falling open.

"Kuguha is-" she shook the betrayal off her face, turning back to the two, "You heard the Eve, be on the look out, but don't cause a scene."

Kuruha and Kinuha nodded, making their way to the elevator. The rest were ordered to be on stand by around the pool, and to be ready for crowd control when the time comes. Tsuguha and Akiha in the lead. They were to act like they didn't know a thing.

"Ill call a doctor for the Wall-E" Kazuma said.

"Yato's fine." Yato wheezed out a smile, which Kazuma returned with a nod.

"Is there anyway you can call Dr. Masomi Iki? I know he's not good with tech but." Hiyori asked the Major General. Kazuma gave her a smile too.

"I'm pretty good with tech myself. Consider it done," he reassured.

"That's all well and good but we don't have time for that," Yato hissed and forced himself to stand, "None of you know Kouto like I do. You need me with you."

"Don't be stubborn!" Yukine scolded.

"Either way, we need to get going," Bishamon turned towards the elevator, "Have the doctor meet us off of the pool deck, somewhere there are no cameras."

"None of the cleaner's closets have cameras," Yukine piped up, "He'll be safe there." The Mo shifted the extra weight. Yato looked at him, but spoke to Bishamon.

"The kid stays with me." Yato said, he then looked to Hiyori, who moved towards the Secur-T. Nodding at her determined expression with acceptance. His eyes not any less pleading.

Kazuma made his way next to the Wall-E, ducking under his handle and supporting the other side. Yato grunted and adjusted to the new position. Once they were ready, Kazuma nodded to his lady.

"I've stalled the security camera in the elevator, hopefully he won't suspect a thing."

The group made their way to the elevator, doors shutting behind them. The head Wall-H waved to them in a lazy fashion, the glare over his glasses making his expression unreadable. Bishamon clicked the button to the main deck and they were off. Hiyori and Yukine filled the two Secur-T in on the underlying darkness of the ship. During their explanation, Hiyori kept looking back at Yato out of worry and guilt. His eyes stared at the floor, glassy and tired.

"Kazuma?" Bishamon looked at her Major General. Kazuma looked past his glasses, his expression not promising.

"I can't find any record of the Auto's blueprints. Only the captain would know it," Kazuma looked at Yato, "And the last thing I want to do is try downloading anything from him in this state."  The Secut-T flinched at Yato's glare, cold and threatening.

"Wise choice," Yato agreed.

"Well at any rate, we need the captain to open the hallow detector for us so Eve can put the plant in," Bishamon clenched her fists, "That's going to be tricky with the General of the Army blocking the way."

"Hang on! He doesn't know your not on his side, right?" Yukine piped up. He shrunk a bit when the Secur-T whipped around to look at him in surprise. The Mo blushed under the quiet stares.

"You make a good point," Kazuma said with a smile.

"Agreed." Bishamon looked at Yukine again then turned back to face the door. Subtly, Yato patted his kid's back as best he could.

"Bishamon, I think I should go with you." Hiyori turned towards the woman with a hard look that left no room for argument. The Secur-T didn't look too pleased.

"No."

"But Lieutenant General-"

"He doesn't know we are against him. If you go with us, he'll know somethings up," She turned to the boys behind them, "You three stay on the deck till we return. While Kazuma comes with me, I'll call for reinforcement if I need too. We will open the Holo-Detector." Bishamon said, glaring through his reluctant expression.

"Understood," Kazuma affirmed. The elevator slowed to a smooth and easy stop, doors opening up. Noise. Shouting and scuffling filled the workers' hallway. Chaos. Just before Bishamon could step out, a wolfish-looking Secur-T stepped into view.

"Lieutenant General Bishamon, I need you all to come with me. General's orders."

[cyberwavelit]

Gamer's Debt (Short Story)

"Crap, all I wanted was the gold chest so I can buy some extra lives. If I don't get any more extra lives, I'll lose all my gold when I die. How am I supposed to win if I have to pay for every damn thing?" Joden stepped down the ramp of his Blourgan cruiser and surveyed the alien landscape. It was barren except for the remains of a small village that he had just annihilated with a two-ton necro-missile.

"That's life. People are generally selfish, impatient, and insecure. Game companies use these weaknesses to motivate players. Maybe you shouldn't have blown up the village, is all I'm saying." The pilot of the cruiser, Jershamalama, spoke through his comm.

"But how does anyone get the hell out of this game if they can never win? I've been stuck in this hell hole for thirty days! My body’s back in the real world, rotting away.”

"Hey, you wanted to play, didn't you? Maybe if we travel to a non-npc sector we can trade off some of this junk we get every time we kill an enemy.” His pilot stared at him from the cockpit.

Joden looked back, “I feel like a slave. That garbage is only worth a pinto cent. It’ll take decades to get to the end game. And besides, that's if we can take off with all that junk. It'll take us a few hours to get back into the atmosphere. It's like a Fetch-22."

"You mean a fetch quest?"

"Yeah, something like that." said Joden taking out his cent-o-meter. It consumed his health bar as it scanned the surrounding sector. His eyes darted around his visor interface, looking at all the blips and bubbles that pinged. “I wish I could afford the Super Hyper Gold Jetpack that all the booster players use.”

“They only release that on the first Wednesday of every other month with a sign-on fee, an option to buy stocks in EternaEntertinament, a monthly fee, a mental evaluation, and maintenance fees when your able to grab it from one of the random places it spawns, like the Hell planet Infernum or the planet Madness Descent. Plus, I hear they only give you like a 3 second jump.”

“What?!” He nearly tripped over a crumpled alien body. “You can’t be serious. My mom’s going to kill me. I told her I was going to school. I figured I could just sign up for a few games, try my hand at Galactic Teamslayer, and be back at the rent-a-plex by nine. That was a month ago!”

“Relax. They won’t even notice you’re gone. Most parents have been sucked into this new thing called Binge Child Raising. EternaEntertinament created it too. It’s a simulation where adults can raise children and not have them become reclusive, angst-ridden failures. They’re really gouging everyone for money, real and fake, young and old.”

Joden was too focused on the horizon where a few blips were going off. They were purple, which meant that they were low-value targets. Everything seemed to be purple. “I never asked--how long you been here?”

“You shoulda seen it when it was it first came out. The servers would never load and you had to sit there, in the darkness, watching a timer run out as they patched their simulation. It was like holding your breath under water.” The pilot sucked his teeth. “Hang on a sec. Have to rate the game again—after this ad.”

“Yeah, I hate doing this every hour.” The astronaut picked up a child’s toy from the clutched hand of a sloblarian. “Wonder what this is worth. I heard that we used to play with things like this, not just video games where you pay to win. Up, hang on a sec, got an ad playing.”

Joden’s reality changed. He was sitting on a park bench. A duck came up to him, honking and pulling at his pants. The countdown to the end of the ad appeared in his peripheral. It quaked and quaked until Joden threw down a few coins to skip it.

Back in game world he was still holding the toy. He threw it down with distain and a lack of remembrance for such physical trifles.

He was then asked to rate the game. He voted as he always had, giving it a one-star out of three. There was a chime and a message: “We’re sorry you’re not enjoying your time in our game world. Perhaps if you were more openminded and understanding of the fact that you may not always get what you want, you might have a better experience with our merchandise. Please lower your expectations. Thank you.”

Joden coughed to drown out the message he had heard a hundred times. “I’m so tired of game companies stealing from us. Don’t they realize that it’ll only make the game suffer?”

“Yeah,” responded the pilot, “let’s go steal something.”

“I’m so tired, Jersh. I just want to go somewhere where we can kill an alien race and grind their bones into dust. What’s so wrong with that?”

“If you only knew, kid. On its launch the game world wasn’t even finished. Eterna used the gamers to construct most of the planets using the build-and-play incentive. Those gamers signed a contract that said that they had to make at least four hundred ‘products’ before they could actually the game. They called it the ‘fix-it-later’ release. The products they were referring to was one galaxy. Those designer gamers are probably still waiting…”

“Four hund--?” Joden held up his fist to the pilot, who had been watching from the ship’s windshield. “That’s extortion!”

“Welcome to the world. They get away with it because it’s a game world. You can do anything in the game world like gambling, murder, blackmail, forced labor, and forced sodomy. Nothing’s real so nothing matters.”

The astronaut had disembarked about five hundred meters from the ship. Steam bellowed from its worn exhaust. “Why did you call me kid? How old are you? I mean I know you have the same avatar as me…”

“Age doesn’t matter either. Yeah, I couldn’t afford the customizations either.” Jersh tapped his helmet. “So, I guess we both have the same face.”

“And same weapons, gear, armor, boots, ships, weapon skins, and abilities.” He noticed a large oval blob on his visor’s HUD. It was moving closer behind a small series of stone pillars.

“Oh no, I have the blue-skinned Rigormortis rifle. It’s got this badass blue stripe on the side. Cost me 20,000 gold, 200 platinum, and 4 of my lifesaving’s accounts. If I didn’t have this stripe, I’d probably go insane or worse, color blind.”

“Shut up, dude. Something’s coming. I think it’s a surviving sloblarian. I hear they get angro really quick. I don’t want to die here, man. I never bought a 600-gold resurrection pack. It’ll take sixty days to load back in…”

Jersh responded, sounding distracted, “You’re fine. Just cap it in the head or something.”

The purple blob was twenty meters away. If it wanted to attack it would have to come out into the open and charge him. He could tell there was movement but it was more restless than threatening. Joden took out his rifle and fired at the rock tower. The gun exploded in his hands, sending his obliterated fingers in multiple directions.

“Ah damnit! I forgot about the maintenance fee!”

The figure bounded from the pillar and slunk slowly towards the enemy astronaut. It skulked across the yellow, Phallusian sand with its omni-dexterous flippers. Arriving to the hunched-over human its tugged at his spacesuit and motioned for him to come closer.

“Gross dude, it wants to talk to me. What should I do?” The rounded head bobbed up and down like a rubbery ball. It seemed to be injured or at least miserable.

Joden heard distinct crunching noises emanating from the pilot’s mouth. “IDK. Step on it I guess.”

The polymorphous blob at his feet opened its crevice-like mouth and appeared to gasp for air. But it wasn’t gasping. It was whispering. He leaned down and listened.

“Dunk…prrray…Donk pppreeeey.” It was saying, and gargled as its lips flapped. “Doooonnk plllaaaaay. Chooose nut to pprraaaaay. Fyind sumting essl to do wilth yourg tyhme.”

“Oh, hell no!” shouted the man, as he squashed the creature’s face with his boot. It was like stepping on a water balloon filled with pebbles. He looked at where his hands used to be and screamed into the sky. “What does it all mean? Why do I always have to be punished! I’ve been in the same place for too long!”

"It's not good to live in a dream.” More crunching came from the ship. “You sometimes forget what life is like."

Virtual blood splashed onto the dry dirt from his nubs. A few splatters mixed with the alien’s internal fluids. The reflective pool at his feet showed his avatar’s face, the same face of his pilots. He searched rapidly for any signs of wealth or material possession. There was nothing but ooze and viscera. Tattered cloth around the dead alien’s head was smushed and torn.  

He turned toward the ship with a look of bewilderment. “How many gamers are trapped here? We can’t be the only ones. This game isn’t anything like what they advertised. They lied to us! Who would want to be stuck in this perpetual nightmare of pay-to-play, pay-to-build, pay-to-live, pay-to-pay mechanics?”

“I don’t think you get it.” The pilot was still eating. “Companies do this to consumers because consumers let them. The general belief is that consumers are very smart but when’s the last time you heard someone say: ‘I won’t buy that because it goes against my code of ethics?’ None, no one’s ever said that. People like spending money. It’s in our blood. Its our nature to trust rich people. They seem to have all the right answers even when they don’t. They make the truths that we all follow. Besides, how could they get all that money if they had bad intentions.”

Joden used his character’s remaining strength to rush back towards the Blourgan cruiser. He felt a draft of air coming in the direction of the ship, and heard the engine roaring to life. “What the hell are you doing?”

The mercenary vessel hovered three feet off the ground and its nose pointed at the runner. Its pilot could be seen through the windshield, “Sorry newb, you’re becoming to be a real downer.”

“I thought you were my friend!” he whimpered, his nubs heaving back and forth.

The ship elevated to ten feet. “None of us are really friends. We’re all just trying to make a living. And I need one more kill for the Slayer Award. We’re all just numbers.”

As he came to the plateau where he had disembarked, he held up his invisible hands to shield his face. “I just want to go home! I just want to go home.”

A cybersonic laser beam burst from the cruiser’s forward cannons. He felt the hot bathing light of the beam and then felt nothing at all.

“I can’t get out…I can’t…” He awoke in darkness. A screen appeared that read the same message he received hundreds of times, “You have died. Looks like you have low gear and feeble weapons. Would you like to buy a booster pack?”

“No.” he responded.

“A looter box?”

“No!”

He said the same words over and over before. The message continued, “You have elected to refuse game-provided assistance. This is a poor decision. In order to continue gameplay without using game-provided assistance please insert thirty-seven-point-one resurrection tokens.”

He wanted to cry but said, “I don’t have any.”

The automated voice paused and spoke again after popping up a sixty-page form. “Well that sucks. In order to continue please complete the loan agreement in front of you. The loan is for $6,000. Sign here, here, and here.”

Joden lowered his shoulders and looked at his current debt. It read: “-387,000.” He breathed out, collapsing his chest, and grew red-faced. “No!” he shouted.  

There was another pause and the form disappeared. For several moments there was darkness and silence. “Very well.” The automated voice returned. “You have chosen reincarnation. Goodbye.”

“No!” he screamed defiantly. “No!”

Then, all of a sudden, he felt strange. He looked out through oddly-colored eyes. His hands had returned but they had three fingers instead of five. When he tried to speak, he could only gasp through what felt like a straw. The sand that he walked on grew hardened in his webbed feet. An alien girl danced toward him, carrying a toy. She hugged him with pencil-thin arms and turned towards the sky. Tattered robes fell along his arm and he patted the girl’s head. He looked up, to where the girl was gazing and saw a massive fireball break through the atmosphere. A necro-missile came out of the fiery plume, heading straight for their small, stony village. 

[meat-husband]

Bubba Sawyer - Alphabet Ask Meme

I’m hoping to start doing requests on this blog, so I thought I would start up with the alphabet ask memes as a sort of intro! I figure all the letters get asked eventually, so I’m just doing all of them in one go. There will be one of these posted for each character I’m writing.

I have a page with what and who I write for here.

Both the NSFW and fluff alphabet asks are under the cut!

NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Cuddles are mandatory – Bubba will pout and whine if you try to get out of it (why would you though, hug that boy). He can get clingy though, and won’t want to get up once you’re both settled.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Obviously, Bubba loves his masks (yes they count as a bodypart, let him live!). He puts a lot of effort into them and would love for you to help style them.

When it comes to you, he’s in for the whole package. There’s not one thing he could pick above another (but he’s totally a leg man, fyi).

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Let’s be honest, Bubba’s pull out game weak. He doesn’t care where he cums most of the time, but there’s a lot of it so even if he only meant to get it one place, it ends up everywhere.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He would never admit to it or ask for it, but he’s put a lot of thought into hanging you from the meat hook in the kitchen and just keeping you there to use whenever he wants through the day. Obviously he wouldn’t hurt you, and it makes him feel guilty to even think of hanging you up like meat but he can’t stop thinking about it.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Bubba is a sheltered baby, he’s got no idea what you’re talking about but he’s eager to go along with whatever you want. You’ll have to have a lot of patience if you want to cum with him though, it will take him a few tries to understand what to do.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

He likes when he can grab handfuls of you and just hold on. Lay on your side, one leg under him and one over his hip, and let him go to town. He can be as handsy as he wants this way, plus easy access to kisses, and it will keep him from hitting too deep in his enthusiasm.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Bubba is here to have fun. He’s going to laugh and smile and make silly faces to amuse you, he doesn’t get very serious unless he’s upset.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

You can shower all you want, that house has no AC and he’s doing manual labor all day so he’s pretty much always sweaty. He’ll clean up when he gets too bloody, but otherwise you’ve just gotta put up with it until the next shower.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Bubba is romantic in his own way. He’s already geared towards taking care of everyone else, so making you food, giving gifts and doing special things for you is just part of his personality. He doesn’t have much of an idea what romance is exactly, so if you want anything traditional, like a private dinner or date night, show him how it’s done by surprising him and he’ll pick up on it and return the favor.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Before he had a partner, it’s not something he would do often. Between Drayton’s anger and Nubbin’s teasing, he felt too guilty doing something so selfish. The thought doesn’t cross his mind once he’s got someone of his own though. Why do it alone when it’s so much more fun with you?

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

I think it's pretty common to headcanon Bubba with a breeding kink and I am all about that shit. But have you considered size kink Bubba, because I sure have! He’s a big boy and usually sort of self conscious about it, but seeing the comparison between the two of you makes him excited. It’s so easy to pick you up or to cover your body with his completely. The way you have to climb up him to sit in his lap, or how careful he has to be not to squish you under him. And he loves being the little spoon, with you trying and failing to wrap him up in your arms as well as he does to you.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

If his brothers are gone, anywhere is fair game. Most often it’s outside in the dirt or in the barn where the generator can cover up some of his noise. Otherwise it’s strictly in your room, door locked to keep wandering siblings out.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

You’re not sure there’s anything that doesn’t turn him on, really. Something as small as eye contact or a smile has set him off before, so it’s safe to assume anything you do or say is motivation enough to send him your way with grabby hands and a tent in his pants.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He wouldn’t say no to anything you ask him for, so you’ll have to figure out what he likes best and what he doesn’t want to do again. He’ll make it known right away if he’s uncomfortable with anything, squawking and waving his hands nervously.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Absolutely loves it either way. Surprisingly, he picks up on using his mouth very quickly and it’s probably what he’s best at. Don’t expect him to sit still when you return the favor though, you can try and hold his hips down all you want but he can’t stop himself from thrusting up to meet your mouth.

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Bubba’s got no sense of the word ‘slow’ and even less of ‘gentle’. He’s not being rough or hurting you, but he’s fast and eager and the sooner he gets his cock in you, the happier he is.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He doesn’t think of them too differently, sex is sex. Most of the time he won’t be able to spend as much time with you as he’d like, since there’s so much work to do around the farm, but it’s rather easy to distract him from his chores if you really want to - just make sure to help him catch up with them afterwards.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He’ll gladly try whatever you want to, so long as you show him what to do. He’s too nervous to do anything too risky though, especially if there’s a chance of being caught by his brothers.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Theoretically, he has to stop eventually. You have yet to find that point and you will definitely wear out before he does, but you’ll keep trying.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

That kind of shit would get sniffed out in a second and you’re not sure whether Nubbins or Drayton finding it would be worse.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He’s got no threshold for teasing, he gives in right away. Like yeah, he wants you to get all squirmy and beg for him, but he doesn’t have the willpower to not put his cock in you when you ask for it.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Drayton keeps a broom in the hallway to bang on the ceiling - it doesn’t work, but it makes him feel like he’s doing something.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He is an expert at arts and crafts. He will constantly make you things, which is flattering until you realize he’s throwing out tooth and wire friendship bracelets left and right (Nubbins has 14 of them and will only wear them all at once, like a scrawny maraca). He’s already covered the living room in hot glued bones and tacky, handmade throw pillows. His crafting knows no bounds and he cannot be stopped.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

You’ve created a monster. There is no universe in which he is not ready to fuck you at a moments notice. He’s still trying to grasp the idea that maybe you need to rest sometimes.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Almost immediately. You’ve barely got time for some snuggles before he’s out. Good thing is he’s a deep sleeper, so it’s easy to get out of bed without waking him, but he’s extra grumpy if you do. Despite the body heat he puts off, you aren’t getting a sliver of blanket either, he’s already tangled in it and no amount of force can pull it away from him.

Fluff Alphabet

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

He wouldn’t be able to pick one thing. He feels amazingly lucky to have someone at all, let alone someone so perfect in every way.

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)

It’s not the first thing on his mind, but he’s definitely aware that a baby is coming along sooner or later. He’s more worried than excited at the thought, since he’s the baby of the family and hasn’t experienced anything like it before. He’ll go into overdrive making things for the future baby once it’s a sure thing - pillows, blankets, footie pajamas. They might be a little macabre with all the human teeth and hair used in their production, but it’s the thought that counts.

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

Bubba is the champion of Extreme Cuddling™. Doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing, he’ll find some way to wrap himself around you. You’ve gotten used to doing the dishes with his arms around your waist and your feet dangling off the ground.

D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)

The most common are quick picnic dates, sitting in the shade behind the house and watching the sunflowers. Bubba won’t want to go too far from the house, but you might convince him to go down to the creek with you once he realizes you’re not going to be swimming in your clothing.

E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…)

Family. He was raised with the thought that there was family and there was food, and only those two groups. They’re the only things that matter and you take care of your family by providing food. Once he decides he wants you around, even if it’s not romantic yet, he automatically puts you in the first group.

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

Bubba falls fast - in the matter of a few weeks or less. His face is always red and he can’t stop knocking things over when you’re around and you caught him staring at you four times just during breakfast. Drayton tries to put a stop to it before anything can happen, but you’ve already figured it out and even if you’re not quite as far along as Bubba, it’s still adorable.

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

He’s more clumsy than rough, so he might be a little awkward but still gentle. His fingers will get caught while petting your hair or he’ll throw you over his shoulder instead of picking you up in his arms.

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

He would much rather be holding on to another part of your anatomy tbh, but hands will do. Hand holding is fine if there’s no time for cuddling, but he likes being closer so he’ll still probably drape himself over you.

I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

He didn’t have much of an impression at first, he isn’t trying to make friends with the meat, you know. Once it’s clear you’re not for eating, though, he’s fairly happy about having someone new around, especially when you turn out to be so nice! He quickly develops a crush, and I mean quick - pretty girl said good morning to him? Heart eyes, motherfucker.

J = Jealous

He doesn’t really have anyone to be jealous of since you live with his family, and he likely wouldn’t think of such a thing as cheating on a partner. If a situation did occur where someone else was paying you special attention he’d probably get a little jealous and then you’d have a tantrum on your hands. He’d be extra protective afterwards, realizing that someone could try and steal you away.

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

Bubba starts the first kiss, but you’ve got to stop him and show him what to do. It takes a few tries before he realizes that eating and kissing require two different techniques. He’s always going to be a messy kisser but it’s more out of enthusiasm than anything, he’s just so excited every time it happens.

L = Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?)

Definitely Bubba. Maybe it’s not those exact words, you can’t really tell, but he’s pretty obvious about his affections from the beginning.

M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?)

Bubba does love when you surprise him with gifts, small things taken from victims or found in the crowded attic, or handmade love letters with big lipstick kisses. He keeps them all and likes to look at them sometimes, especially when you’re out in town with his brother, and remember how sweet it was to be given something special.

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

If he ever finds out that there is something you want or need, he’s gonna do his best to provide it. It might be a handmade version, possibly containing some human material, but he tried his best so you can’t turn it away. He does like to dress you both up for dinner sometimes, keeping dresses and skirts for you to wear and sharing his make up and jewelry.

O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)

Purple. It’s his favorite color and he loves to dress you in it. That blouse is the ugliest thing you’ve seen in your life and it does not match those pants in any way, but it makes Bubba happy so you will gladly suffer these crimes against fashion.

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

Bubba loves pet names! He definitely has some for you, although you can’t exactly understand them. You tend to call him sweet things like honeybun or sweetie pie and he loves it. You may not be doing it on purpose, but it sort of amuses him that the names are all food based.

Q = Quaint (What is their favorite non-modern thing?)

The most up to date thing they own is probably the old, beaten up truck Drayton drives (which Bubba is strictly forbidden from messing with). The rest of the house is pieced together with messy repairs from years of family life and everything in it is about as new as the house itself. The Sawyers are old fashioned and tend to use and recycle everything the family has ever owned, whether that be clothes or furniture.

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

There’s still work to be done no matter the weather, but if he can get away with it then he’s sleeping in for once. He hates getting out of bed in the mornings, having to slide you off his chest and untangle himself from the blankets is hard to do when you’re so warm and comfy.

S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)

He’s like a worried mother hen anyways, so when anyone is feeling bad he’s extra jittery, flapping his hands and muttering and offering food or small gifts to try and make them feel better. Drayton tends to wave him off with a snarl and you can’t say that you’ve ever seen Nubbins acting like anything other than manically excited. You let him tend to you however he wants, more to soothe him than yourself, but watching him run around trying to cheer you up tends to get you smiling anyways.

When he’s upset himself he’s actually really easy to take care of, as any amount of positivity will draw him out of a bad mood quickly. Cuddling and soft praise or even just taking a short nap together will turn his day around.

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

You cannot understand a word of his babbling but he will go on for hours regardless. Sometimes it’s easy enough to understand what he’s trying to get across, but you don’t know how his brothers seem to know exactly what that gurgle means in detail. He’s patient with you though and doesn’t get upset when you’ve got to resort to charades.

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

Snuggling up on the couch and listening to the old radio (if you can keep the other two from messing with it). Really, any kind of snuggles are fine, but the tinny white noise in the background is extra relaxing.

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

Bubba is very proud of the work he does for the family. He isn’t a great cook by any means, he can’t exactly bring in the meat himself and he’s not very diligent about cleaning but no one else can do the butchering or the heavy lifting. Anything he can do to contribute, even just helping you with the dishes, makes him happy.

W = Wedding (When, how?)

You’re probably not going to go down to the courthouse, but there will be a wedding of sorts. Drayton isn’t the most traditional person when it comes to things like this, but he’ll be the one pushing for some sort of celebration. After all, you’re part of the family now so they might as well make it as official as they can.

X = Xylophone (What’s their song?)

He’s not picky with music, he’ll listen to whatever is on the radio. His brothers fight over the station, changing the channel the moment the other one leaves the room, but he always likes whatever it gets left on so he doesn’t touch it.

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

He doesn’t really understand marriage, since it’s not like he’s out of the house much and grandma has been dead for years. He moves pretty quick in how seriously he takes your relationship though, going from ‘puppy love’ to ‘absolutely devoted’ in a short amount of time. Once you get to anything more serious than shy glances he’s pretty much hooked for life tbh.

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

Bubba has never met an animal he didn’t like, so he’d take anything Drayton would let him get away with. The chickens in the yard are his favorites, but he’s strangely okay with killing them when the time comes.

[mason-mem]

first pages of Michel Serres’ Malfeasance

I URINE, MANURE, BLOOD, SPERM

THE LIVED FOUNDATIONS OF

PROPERTY RIGHT

TIGERS PISS ON THE EDGE OF THEIR LAIR. And so do lions and dogs. Like those carnivorous mammals, many animals, our cousins, mark their territory with their harsh, stinking urine or with their howling, while others such as finches and nightingales use sweet songs.

To mark: the origin of this verb is the mark of a footstep left on the soil. In bygone days, the story goes, the whores of Alexandria used to carve their initials in reverse order on the soles of their sandals. This enabled prospective clients to read the imprints on the sand and discover both the desired person and the direction of her bed. The presidents of great brands promoted by advertisers on city billboards today would no doubt enjoy knowing that like good sons they are direct descendants of those whores.

Or perhaps they descend from creatures that mark the boundaries of their territory with their excrements. Similarly, certain plants throw out little invisible jets of acid . . . nothing grows in the frigid shadow of fir trees.

THE CLEAN AND THE DIRTY: ANIMAL CUSTOMS, HUMAN CUSTOMS

How do the living inhabit a place? How do they establish it, recognise it? Lions through smell, birds by hearing . . . advertisers and whores by sight. Here we have three senses on the alert. How do animals create links as powerful as the law is for humans, links that enable them to appropriate the habitat where they dwell and live?

The science of animal behaviour, ethology, describes at length those nests, holes, wallows, sheds, ecological niches .... in short, how males define and defend their habitats with their filth. These places are often secret, hidden, dark, buried, lost, places where the living eat, sleep, hibernate, copulate, give birth, and are born, in short survive; do they own or rent these places? How can we answer this question, which is perhaps a bit too anthropomorphic? We can easily turn it around.

In The Parasite, I described the customs of mammals in order to compare them to hominine ways of appropriation. Whoever spits in the soup keeps it; no one will touch the salad or the cheese polluted in this way. To make something its own, the body knows how to leave some personal stain: sweat on a garment, saliva or feet put into a dish, waste in space, aroma, perfume, or excrement, all of them rather hard things . . . but also my name, printed in black on this book cover, where my signature looks sweet and innocent, seemingly unrelated to those habits. And yet. . . . Hence the theorem of what might be called natural right. By "natural" I mean the general behavior of living species: appropriation takes place through dirt. More precisely, what is properly one's own is dirt.

The spit soils the soup, the logo the object, the signature the page: property, propriety, or cleanliness. The same word tells of the same struggle; in French, it has the same origin and the same meaning.1 Property is marked, just as the step leaves its imprint. Conversely, I should re-mark—yes!—that a hotel makes the rooms clean and proper to make them available for others. Otherwise, no one would come. Conversely, clean and proper here implies there is no well-defined owner yet, and that it is freely accessible. In short, either proper means appropriated and consequently dirty or proper implies really neat and therefore without an owner. Come over here, to this clean spot; you may, because it obviously welcomes you. When you leave, it will be yours because you will have made it dirty. No one will want to sleep in your sheets, nor handle your used towel, nor drink from your glass seeded with bacteria from the imprint of your lips. You appreciate the cleaning done in a hotel. The cleaner it looks, the more hospitable it will seem to everyone. At home, I take care of the garbage and occupy a space called by the delightful name of powder room. Long ago, we hardly dared to translate the famous quote stercus suum cuique bene olet,1 "one's own excrement smells good." This is still true of noise; one's own noise is not bothersome. This is also true of many types of trash. It is again true of small children who have similar behaviours at the anal stage.

THE EXPROPRIATED SQUAT Discreetly, dictionaries define squatter, as the term indicates, as someone who occupies the surface of the land on which he crouches. This would take up little space; only a dwarf could lie down on such a spot. No, squatting describes the crouching posture of defecation and that of females when they piss or give birth.

The origin of the old French verb es-quatir, originally used in the Far West and Australia, is first related to the verb co-acticare, the old curious root of cogito, through co-agere or co-agitarey" indeed, my thoughts move around in me like a large assembly of sheep in the meadows. Now, farmers in these two New Worlds led even larger herds on lands that they considered to be without owners, even as their grazing and their presence expropriated Indians or Aborigines who had been living there before them, albeit without title deed, at least according to common law. So there was nothing about this term that would imply crouching. As soon as it acquires that meaning, it can be linked to the earlier one: to invade and possess. The fact remains that animals never leave places free of droppings as they trot along.

FROM THE HOME TO THE FARM

I will now go from the soup, polluted by spit, to the dirty sheets, or from the table to the bed, to get from individual appropriation to family property, from the city rat to the field rat. Indeed, the arable square of land, the stretch of vineyard or alfalfa, the pagus of the ancient Latins, properly belonged to the peasant tribe because the bodies of ancestors were buried there, in tombs or under stone slabs. Did you know that the word paix, peace, comes from pieu, the stake that marked the boundary of the tilled pagus? The mortuary slab was also used as a boundary around which peaceful relations with neighbours could be established. I'll end my remarks with a discussion of this peace.

I will also explain how the aforementioned peasant or pagan—same terms similarly derived from pagus— appropriated this patch of land in the same quasi-animal fashion. Is there anything more disgusting than what has no name in any language: the stench emanating from a mass grave? Except perhaps the stench of manure spread out at the appropriate season to improve, enrich, and fertilise the soil. Perhaps you doubt that the main reason to cover the field with this biodegradable layer of fatty fertiliser, this urine nitrogen, is for the sake of appropriation. However, I would still like to convince you that I find here a possible origin of agriculture. When the first human enclosed a plot of land and thought of telling his children, his parents, and his wife to imitate him and his animals by depositing some of their urine and faeces in order to make it a piece of earth belonging to the family, he noticed with surprise, come spring and summer, that the polluted field was greener and more productive than the neighbouring soil. Could he possibly have founded the farming profession and rural society with this act?

As you travel, do admire that peaceful—same word as pagus—landscape, beautifully divided, of the old countries of Europe; their rural spaces display fertilising manure and the Cities of the Dead.

l. Professor Serres plays on the various meanings of the French propre, which means both "clean" and "one's own," or "characteristic of." The French title Le Mai propre is itself a pun on several levels: mal is evil, combined with propre; it thus signifies "clean evil," but malpropre in one word also means dishonest, sleazy, despicable. I have chosen to emphasize the combination of evil and dishonest by translating the title as "Malfeasance," which has similar connotations. [All notes are from translator.]

2. Latin proverb, provenance uncertain, quoted by Michel de Montaigne, in Essais, III, VIII.

3. Co-agitare: from the Latin co- (together) and agitare (to move around, revolve).

inspired by @aazzure 2019.19.14

[organfield96-blog]

Great Jewelry Tips That All people Should Know

When you can be looking for stones an individual should remember a few simple tips. Going in a jewelry shop without knowing what to search out for may result in an individual getting some sort of part that is not really worth virtually as much as what exactly you paid for this. Adhere to these tips, consequently that you can help to make the best selection. Create sure to regularly enhance your metal jewelry. Over time that begins to gather dirt, oil and dirt and that affects its sheen and overall look. This kind of makes the jewelry glance worn out and old. Proceed ahead and recharge those pieces using some easy polish to make them all resemble brand new yet again. The world of human body piercing has taken human body necklaces to new altitudes. Lots of people like the sense of acquiring their particular tongues pierced, yet possessing metal jewelry in your lips may be damaging to your teeth. There are various colourful selections available for plastic tongue jewelry that is more secure for your mouth together with is not going to make your dental office cringe. Be sure to don't don your fine jewelry all of the time. When anyone are performing house cleaning services tasks or washing both hands along with soapy water, remove your own personal jewelry. Swimming in some sort of swimming is one other fantastic reason behind you to get rid of your fine jewelry to continue to keep the idea safe. Everyday severe chemicals can severely deterioration fine jewelry, sometimes damaging that beyond repair. Any time selecting your wedding group set, take into account the precious jewelry you already unique and even regularly wear. A good yellow gold wedding band isn't very the best choice if most regarding the jewelry anyone previously own is white gold or perhaps silver. You will most likely be wearing your marriage wedding ring every day time. Help to make sure is actually definitely not merely something you want, but anything that matches the things you already own. Buying applied jewelry can be a wonderful way for you to expand your own personal selections without having to pay out a whole lot of money. Look intended for estate gross sales or garden sales. Determined by where an individual live, prices may end up being lower than antique shops (which use the name "antique" for you to charge a good bit more). Browsing throughout person can be some sort of fun method to find factors you might not have access to believed to go looking to get. In order to keep rings from overpowering the hands, never ever wear extra than two on the same finger. Rings can readily look excessive, and possibly a new series of more delicate rings can look overwhelming. When you are wearing the oversized ring, it is definitely best to wear merely a few other engagement rings along with it. When generating jewelry, beeswax is some sort of wonderful product to employ with regard to taming frizzy twine. Just rub some sort of minor onto the twine and you will have a smooth glimpse in no time. Your own personal beads will go in easier and your piece is going to have a more sophisticated, professionally made look. When the person you are store shopping for is a good distinctive individual, take into account deciding on the one-of-a-kind bit designed specially for them. A one of a kind piece like this that matches their character appears creative and innovative, and the idea shows them that an individual care about them enough to buy them something they'll wear. To obtain employ out of a good crown soon after one 50 percent of a pair can be lost, use it while a brooch. Many jewels can be worn just as a brooch might, and can make a great accent piece. Try pinning typically the earring to some sort of scarf or attaching the idea for your top just below the particular scruff of the neck bone. A more delicate collar is the great way to highlight a handbag or a seatbelt. If you'd like for you to display your hairstyle, test wearing jewelry that words of flattery your own hair's color. Natural or aqua stones arranged off red hair attractively, while treasure tones brighten darker tresses. If groothandel oorbellen have fair hair, the clear sparkling stone like a diamond can make that shine, whilst some sort of darkish stone contributes great aesthetic contrast. Gems are presented chemical treatments in the process connected with cutting, polishing and even arranging. When you are considering of buying, ask what treatment some sort of stone seemed to be given. The kind regarding treatment your stone desires would depend on what that was treated with. Cleaning some sort of treated jewel using this wrong chemical may possibly ruin it. Keep your cosmetic wristwatch clean and sparkly. Because you didn't expend a lot with your bracelets doesn't mean you mustn't have good care of that. An effective and low-priced way to maintain your watch hunting great would be to put toothpaste on a dried out cloth and rub. Your plastic material watch will look brand-new. When giving a element of jewelry in order to the significant other, a great tip to follow in the event you are not assured within your observation abilities will be to ask close friends or even family members of the significant other their opinions in regards to what type of jewelry an individual should purchase. If anyone do this, you is going to have revealed your essential other that you simply made some sort of genuine effort to make the time special. While it may well appear like buying bracelets can be a extended and monotonous process, that is actually not because hectic as it sounds. You should have fun and enjoy browsing, but be sure that you keep an eye away for things that accomplish not necessarily seem like that they are whatever they should turn out to be.

[moremoneytips]

Easy Ways To Get That Lovely Skin!

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Easy Ways To Get That Lovely Skin!

Caring for your skin is an important part of your life. Acne breakouts, sun damage and dryness are just some of the conditions that affect the way your skin looks and feels. However, because your skin continuously grows and renews itself throughout your life, it’s never too late to implement good skin care habits. The following tips and tricks can help you begin your journey towards having healthy skin.

While you might already know that your old makeup and applicators can damage your skin, you might not know that your makeup case can as well. Pay attention to what your makeup is stored it. If it is washable, wash it in warm water. If it is not, consider buying a new one when it gets dirty.

One of the most basic things that you can do for great skin is to drink plenty of water. Make sure that you get in 8 glasses a day so that you can flush your system out, which will allow for your face to look clearer and more healthy looking. It will help present a nice glow from the inside out.

To prevent breakouts of acne, try using facial care products that come in a spray-on applicator. This will keep you from transferring bacteria, oils and potentially irritating substances from your hands to your face while applying things like sunscreen or moisturizer. Having a more bacteria-free face can in turn reduce your chances of developing pimples.

Don’t forget to moisturize your hands. Skin on the hands has fewer oil glands and is thinner than the skin on most parts of the human body. As a result, hands can often become itchy, dry and cracked during the winter months or when constantly exposed to water. To protect your hands, regularly apply liberal amounts of high quality moisturizer and always wear cotton gloves under rubber gloves when washing up.

If you suffer from oily skin, you want to avoid products that add additional oil, and you want to keep your face from making additional oil. Read the ingredients on makeup and face creams to make sure they’re appropriate for your skin type. Also, avoid drying lotions like alcohol-based products, which can stimulate your skin to create excess oil.

If you have facial blemishes, one of the things you can do is to make sure you dry your face with a clean towel. Otherwise, you’ll be transferring all of the dirt and germs from the used towel onto your clean face, filling your pores up with bacteria! If you use a washcloth, it too, needs to be as fresh as possible.

A great skin care tip is to avoid taking really hot baths. When the water is too hot, it damages the lipid layer of the skin, which results in a loss of moisture. It’s better to stick with warm baths and to only be in the water for a short period of time.

The tips you just read are designed to get you started on the road to healthy and happy skin. It is important to remember that you can change your skin’s appearance, no matter what stage of life you are in. Implement the tips found here to get the best skin of your life.

[universedesiccant]

Desiccant Product Manufacturer

Desiccant Capsules providers

Maybe this is the hottest and useful thing on the planet. It's been used since several years at the manufacturing components. It's also a very crucial thing in pharmaceuticals, compound businesses and so forth. It really is but one of those fundamental items employed in filters. Silica gels can be utilized for adsorption. This is actually a process whereby the impurities from water have been all removed. These impurities collect on the top of protein gel. Thus, silica-gel is quite essential for purification of drinking water. Besides removing impurities, in addition, it adsorbs certain minerals . This also boosts the quality of drinking water. Thus, silica gel can be quite a helpful item. A variety of manufacturers want regular distribution of aloe vera. Thus, it's extremely crucial to possess a silica-gel supplier that offers premium excellent material. Big businesses receive yourself a source of silica gel out of big silica-gel manufacturer businesses. With a normal source of excellent quality silica-gel, purification procedure is going to be looked after easily. Thus, it's extremely crucial that you acquire yourself a fantastic source of this particular material. There are lots of silica gels, providing businesses. Silica gel can be found in a number of colours and forms. Every one of those variations has their particular benefits. Thus, businesses desire silica dyes in large amounts. Its porous temperament makes it effortless to adsorb impurities onto its own surface. It's affordable and works nicely. These features contribute to its wide usage.

That really is just another helpful material employed in most places. A desiccant is a chemical which aids keeping in mind the environment dry. It lessens the moisture content at the area and so prevents compounds out of shifting thanks to water. That is essential for compounds. Thus, compound businesses use this chemical on a big scale. Such a substance is quite vital in most places. It really is but one of those moisture absorbers. Since water material from the atmosphere might spoil lots of helpful goods, desiccants can be used widely to avoid this from happening. Desiccants generally stop the current presence of water throughout the process known as adsorption. The water molecules accumulate on the face of these chemicals and may therefore be eliminated. Thus giving more life to the substances that might be readily turned into unworthy by responding with water. Because so most places possess moist states, such compounds prove very beneficial for changing the ecological illness. Desiccants play a important part to keep a variety of services and products in good shape. They're an equally significant part storage of such services and products. In most places, they have been also used throughout the chemical reaction between various substances to find the preferred product. Desiccants are likewise an essential chemical in the food market. Ever since packed food could possibly get cluttered in regards in contact with moisture, desiccants have been utilized to avoid this from occurring. There are lots of kinds of these chemicals. Desiccants are utilized dependent on their physiological conditions and their capacity to answer various things. These would be the 2 chief aspects which can be thought before using desiccants. There are various providers of these chemicals. Because so most businesses utilize them, it's crucial to have desiccants from the ideal source. Many fabricating units concentrate for making those substances. Chemical organizations start looking for a trustworthy desiccant supplier. Probably one of the very useful desiccants can be that a molecular sieve. This is definitely an remarkable thing. It's used widely owing to the effective usage as well as result. It's used for specific absorption of particular substances. It's created in a way that it works perfectly to adsorb just smaller molecules. The human body with this sieve contains small pores that will make it hard for larger molecules to experience. Even the smaller molecules are adsorbed that so separated. Thus, it offers contributes to easy methods. These pockets work well in the right separation of items centered on how big these molecules. Ergo, undesired things might be taken out of the blend of numerous substances. There are various kinds of such molecular sieves. They're utilized due to these easy usage. With these kinds of matters, it will become an easy task to distinguish various substances in chemical businesses. They're particularly utilized to distinguish the numerous pollutants from eachother. These things are employed when no other process enables you to different substances from the mix. With good usage, businesses obtain the specified results in several easy ways. All these sieves are available commonly in chemical businesses. For the correct functioning of these sieves, then they have to be produced together with accuracy. The pores of those sieves needs to really be built in a way they adsorb the ideal molecules. Thus, it's crucial to possess a suitable molecular sieve manufacturer. With the manufacture of such goods, many businesses will benefit by the using such sieves.

As its name implies this really is a card which shows the moisture content from the atmosphere. Since moisture plays a main part in changing their condition of varied services and products, it's necessary to continue to keep this variable under assess. With all these cards, it will become simple to find the ideal moisture information. Thus, the usage of these goes together with the measures used to regulate humidity. All these cards have been made in a manner that they allow it to be simple to grasp the content. It's a moisture sensitive compound that affects whilst the moisture rises. There are lots of complex humidity signs which found in lots of businesses. A whole lot of humidity index cards are created in a way that people discover that it's simple to see the fluctuations in humidity from studying them. There are signs written on these cards. This makes it straightforward to utilize these cards from businesses.

These chemicals require a special reference. They're utilized because of their easy accessibility and effective outcomes. Carbon adsorbents are essentially carbon atoms which consume dirt contaminants. Thus, they're employed at plenty of businesses. Since purification is quite vital oftentimes, businesses strain on the using premium quality carbon adsorbents. With these kinds of goods, purification turns into a simple endeavor. Thus, it's crucial to make use of carbon adsorbents. Considering these adsorbents different an extensive selection of impurities, their usage is extremely crucial. With no, businesses might need to spend money on lots of procedures for removing those impurities.

As cotton is quite decent for its practice of adsorption, it's commonly utilized in chemical businesses. Cotton brings impurities that stay glued to its own surface. This effortless mechanism may be utilised in businesses for effective separation of varied combinations. Throughout the practice of fabricating a variety of compounds, cotton coils might be useful for dividing the impurities once the ideal product can be available. As they have been available readily, folks utilize them all of the time in numerous businesses. Cotton coils are notably found in pharmaceutical and chemical businesses. They aid keep the capsules and tablets at good problems. These cotton coils take advantage of highquality cotton which may withstand pressure and also function well.

Aluminum is found in lots of places. As a result of several options that come with the element, many applications are made as a result. Aluminum tubes are just one item that's truly beneficial. As a result of very low resistance of aluminum, these tubes might be utilized in many chemical businesses. They have been also utilised in construction businesses. In general, these tubes have been found at a great deal of businesses as a result of their simplicity of usage and less reactivity.

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Welcome to Shormton (Irikshan Chapter 2)

After having landed on the empire’s shores yesterday, Irikshan was escorted to the nearest city to see Colonel Anson. Today the mage Lucile gives Irikshan a tour of the great port city of Shormton.

< Landfall (Chapter 1) | Irikshan | Read on Dragon Press

3177 words

Irikshan awoke to the clapping of footwear on dirt approaching his tent for the umpteenth time since he’d settled in his tent on one of the training fields the previous day. He was regretting setting that enchantment on one of his sheridan crystals to wake him when someone approached. These footsteps were cautious like the rest, but took a more steady approach, were not accompanied by ill-concealed whispering, and were alone. Additionally, instead of peering into the door to catch a glimpse of the ‘sleeping’ dragon, these ones stopped a small distance away.

Curious, Irikshan mentally reached out, encountering a familiar mind that recoiled at the touch of his. “Mage Lucile come in. I am awake.”

She hesitated, then did as instructed. “Good morning, Draco Irikshan. Did I wake you?” She bowed.

“A good day to you too. Yes, you are here earlier than I…” he paused to think of the word in Imaadish.

“Expected?” Lucile offered.

“Yes. But I did ask for you to come as soon as you were ready.”

“I thought it best for us to begin before the streets become crowded.”

Irikshan began packing up his personal effects. While the tent would remain standing for the duration of his stay, he did not want to leave much unattended.

“Tell me, do you know where your crystal came from?”

“One of my ancestors was famed for having slain a dragon to protect a town. While there have not been any mages in my family line until me, the dragon’s crystal was kept as a trophy. When it was discovered that I could see energy, it was only sensible to use it rather than spending a small fortune on another. Does it bother you?”

“To a degree. We do also make use of crystals of dragons, but only if the dragon has assented to it prior to death. It is safe to assume that yours did not, but it is not my place to demand retribution for the actions of your forefathers.” After a pause, Irikshan added, “Judging by its size, the dragon could have been anywhere between one hundred and two hundred years old.”

“That’s a wide range.”

“Diet can affect crystal growth quite drastically. In Tumenzar, we keep some non-intelligent energy-sensitive creatures for their meat, similar to how you humans keep animals. They don’t live as long nor grow as large as dragons, but some do grow crystals like us. I’m not sure what you call them in your language.” He took two relatively small crystals from his bags and showed them to Lucile before putting them back.

Once Irikshan had readied himself, the two left the tent and embarked on their tour. The few people who were on the streets at this time gave the pair a wide berth and either hurried away or stared at Irikshan. Lucile proceeded to give him a tour of important buildings in the city. He could fit through the doors of most buildings – but those that he could not, he observed by peering through doors and windows. Irikshan’s Imaadish was good enough that they weren’t regularly stopping for her to explain the meaning of a word to him.

He was first introduced to the other mages outside the building that served as their study area. Lucile was the second-highest ranked among the local mages. Malcolm Taylor, the highest ranked mage, was standoffish but polite. The others bore the curiosity of children who’d recently made a great discovery. He was, admittedly, also curious about their training techniques and knowledge. They would likely have talked all day long if Malcolm had not reminded Lucile that there was more than one noteworthy building in the city.

Having begun drills as soon as the dragon awoke, the tour of the barracks and training areas was a noisy affair – what with the clanging and shouting. Among things that Irikshan noted were the surprising number of humans in military service, and that humans insulted each other for motivation. Colonel Anson requested that Irikshan visit him in the evening.

The courthouse of the city served a similar function to those in Tumenzar, but on a larger scale. With such a large and short-lived population, they had to put more effort into the organisation and tracking of cases and offenders. Interestingly, the town mayor was also not kept informed of the progress of every single trial that occurred.

By the time they reached the town hall, city life had begun to enter full swing. Here Irikshan encountered some humans too busy to even pay him much heed. The mayor took some time out of his busy schedule to talk to Irikshan about his role and responsibilities. The dragon was surprised to learn how little of a say the mayor had on the running of the country and the grand scheme of things. The emperor and the nobles decided what was to be done, and the mayors merely carried out their will.

Irikshan found the library next door somewhat disappointing. He ascribed it to large portions of the population that were dedicated to food and goods production, along with those in military service. Still, the library was nothing to scoff at. After some coaxing, the chief librarian agreed to give Irikshan an overview of many of the noteworthy books. There included histories, philosophies, law books, and studies both magical and mundane. An agreement was also eventually reached that Irikshan would be allowed to withdraw books while he stayed in Shormton, provided he gave the library something in return.

When they left, Irikshan caught Lucile grumbling about the overprotective librarian. When queried, she informed him that the mages were prohibited from reading anything magic-related in the library, and were practically forced to bring their research notes in once a week to be copied.

The church was the first building that had doors big enough for Irikshan to fit through comfortably. The morning service had finished not too long ago, and the priest was happy to help Irikshan. Of course, they spoke of religion, but the priest was also able to offer Irikshan a more personal insight into the lives and concerns of the normal citizens of the city. Something that neither the mages nor leaders could quite do. He spent time with the people – listening, consoling, rejoicing and praying.

The central marketplace was crowded and quickly became more so. At first, both Irikshan and Lucile were given a wide berth, the commonfolk seeming fearful of both. Almost no distinct dialogue was audible over the general hubbub. Eventually, a few brave souls came close enough to touch his sides and tail. When he reacted by looking at them and not eating them, the crowd soon pressed in closer. He felt pinches as some of the strange creatures tugged on his scales.

Getting frustrated, he loudly declared “Back away!”, and magically pushed back the humans who were crowding around him. He wanted to kick the ones who’d been trying to take ‘souvenirs’ – but restrained himself, as that could only end badly. Already the crowd did not seem pleased about being pushed around. He and Lucile made a hasty retreat. While they maintained a small following, the majority of the humans returned to what they had previously been doing. Lucile admitted it was probably not the most forward-thinking idea of hers to try to show him the marketplace in action.

Travelling through the more residential-focused areas of the city also drew onlookers, but not near the numbers of those at the marketplace. Most treated him like some dangerous and fantastical beast that was being paraded around town by the mage. They weren’t entirely wrong, but Irikshan found it frustrating how few humans were willing to engage him, or even Lucile, in direct conversation. At least the smaller groups were polite enough to keep their distance.

The docks too were abuzz with activity. Fortunately, shouts and commands to get back to work let the two visitors continue their tour in relative peace. No captains could be convinced to let the dragon onto their ships, but a couple were helpful enough to answer Irikshan’s questions.

By this point, Lucile’s voice had begun to become noticeably hoarse. Irikshan insisted that they return to where they started before she hurt herself more.

At the mage’s building, Irikshan found Malcolm standing with a handful of human juveniles arrayed in an orderly fashion around him. A couple of the other mages could be seen with adolescent humans further away. Despite obvious excitement upon seeing him, even the youngest of the children held formation remarkably well, until Irikshan had neared and Malcolm dismissed them.

“It’s Ikshan!”

The children flocked to Irikshan. Malcolm, the other mages and the adolescents approached at a more measured pace. Irikshan lay down, hoping to appear less threatening and more approachable. “Hello, little ones. Are you learning of magic?”

“We’re learning about dragons!” One cried excitedly.

“Well, you have a living one here. You are welcome to ask questions.”

“Can you breathe fire?”

“Do you really eat magic?”

“You don’t look fifteen to me…”

“Woah, woah. Slowly, little ones. No, I cannot ‘breathe’ fire. But I can create fire at a focus point, and my head can be the focus point. The dragons from long ago did not have great schools of magic like we do now and often had to figure things out for themselves. The ease of use and… uh… vernietigende power of fire made it a favoured weapon by them. This is where your stories of fire-breathing dragons come from. As for your question,” he turned to the second child. “Why do you eat food?”

“So we can grow up to be big?”

“Yes, but also so that your body can keep working. Your body needs energy to keep doing things. And what is magic?”

“Energy!”

“Correct! Dragon’s bodies – and those of other magical creatures – are different to yours. We don’t need to get energy from food, we can get that energy from magic. We eat food to grow.” He then looked at the next child. “I’m not quite sure what you’re asking.”

“Master Taylor said you are seventy-four, but you are like a fifteen-year-old to dragons. You look very big for a fifteen-year-old. How big are dragons?”

“You see, dragons live a lot longer than humans. A lot longer. Just like for you, the world is very dangerous when we are young. Once we’ve grown up and learned how to look after ourselves, we will usually live for well over three hundred years. And since our bodies only need to use the food we eat to grow, we can grow a lot. See how if I stand next to you, my shoulder is about as high as your head?”

“Yeah?”

“Some of the oldest dragons I know are three times as tall as me.”

A chorus of amazement sounded.

“Draco Irikshan,” Malcolm joined the discussion, “Do you mind a demonstration of how magic interacts with your body?”

“Not at all.”

“Thank you.” He handed Irikshan a sheridan crystal. “Now, novices, come closer to him. Remember what I’ve been teaching you. Close your eyes, block out distractions. See the magic. Watch this energy that he takes from the crystal. Do you see how easily he moves it around?”

Irikshan took a small and concentrated pulse of energy from the crystal to make it easier for the children to notice. He moved it from his arm to the other, then back to his chest – where he gathered some energy from his own crystal. He then moved this up his neck and held it briefly in his horns, before moving it towards his mouth. He lifted his head and condensed the energy into heat, creating a burst of flame that he released towards the sky.

“You see how his body is capable of handling these high energies? It is because his blood and horns have lots of the mineral called shiridite in them. That’s also what our sheridan crystals are made of. This means he can use his own body to channel and direct energy.”

“So he doesn’t need a focus?”

“Well done, Adena. I teach you to use those so you have somewhere to gather the energy you are about to use. Unlike dragons, you will hurt yourself if you try to gather the energy in your body. And it takes a lot more practice and concentration to be able to gather the energy in something nonconductive like air. If you lose concentration, even with a focus, things will go wrong. Come now, let’s resume our lessons.” The mage began ushering the children away from the dragon. “Irikshan will still be here for at least a few days.”

Irikshan looked around for Lucile and spotted her talking to one of the adolescents. When he approached, the adolescent came forward and asked, “Do you mind if I come with you two from now on?”

Hesitating, Irikshan looked to Lucile.

“Draco Irikshan, this is my apprentice, Jared. He’s upset because I did not bring him along and instead asked Leo to train him while I’m busy with you.”

“It is up to you, Mage Lucile. But, Apprentice Jared – I do not think I will be doing much of interest to you. I am here to learn about the city, its people and its culture. When I wish to talk of magic, I am certain all the mages will want to be in attendance.”

“I still want to come with you two.”

“Ok,” Lucile rolled her eyes, “fine.”

“Yes!” The human swung a clenched fist into the air. “Thank you!”

Suppressing a chuckle, Irikshan stated, “I would like to speak to Colonel Anson now.”

“Good afternoon, Col- uh. Drew.”

“Ah, Irikshan, come in! You too, Lucile and Jared. How was your tour?”

“Definitely worth my while.”

“Good. Though, I hear you had some trouble in the marketplace?”

“Yes, it seems humans behave somewhat differently in large numbers.”

“That they do. Probably would have been smarter to not visit the crowded marketplace in the first place.”

Lucile apologised.

“Not to worry.” The man looked back at Irikshan. “What are your plans for your remaining time here?”

“I convinced the librarian to let me borrow books. I have quite some reading to do. I will also be spending some time with the mages. Finally, I would like to do something with your approval.”

“I’m all ears.”

“What?”

“I’m listening.”

“Oh. I would like to speak to the people as a person. Or, should I say, an illusion of a person. The whole day, I have been the centre of attention. This is not what I desire. In a way, I am here to learn about how humans behave in their… natuurlike omgewing… natural environment.”

“I understand. You may do so. But how will you mask your accent? It will be obvious that you are not from around here.”

“I do not mind if they see me as a foreigner. Only that they do not see me as a dragon. I’ve found that even at home, humans behave differently around dragons if they haven’t spent many years living with them. This brings me to my next query. I’ve had mixed reactions to my presence – more so than I expected. I have been trying to figure out the general population’s attitude towards dragons, but now I’m not even sure they know. Your lieutenant who brought me in yesterday was at first hostile towards me. He later mentioned some troubles with the dragon states that are in the empire’s territory. But you especially stand out as the only one who seems truly relaxed in my presence. Can you explain this to me? What is the empire’s relation to my kin in the north and those in the west?”

“Several years ago, the Emperor Malchestor came to power and changed the empire quite drastically. Before this, I was a senior officer at the state of the Scrivens in the north. They were a sort of protectorate underneath us. They could handle internal affairs and run themselves, but within fairly restrictive boundaries and supervision put in place by previous emperors – may he rest in peace. I had daily dealings with the dragons, particularly the elders. I came to know and trust many, as they did me. Even managed to stretch the rules on their behalf here and there. They mostly behaved themselves but were still kept in line.

“The Ostrocas in the west were another matter entirely. Actively defying the empire, even though the late emperor and his predecessors took measures to make sure they posed no real threat. For many years, any dragon that strayed from that territory without an escort was open game for hunters.”

“I was not aware that it was that bad.”

“Chances are that Emperor Malchestor did not find see it as beneficial to share this information with the Tumenzarians.”

“I must admit that we Tumenzarians do not pay much heed to the outside world, and do not get caught up in human affairs. I was not even aware of the empire’s existence until word spread that our human neighbours had called for aid against a threat from across the sea. The elders declared we would not get involved in human conflicts. We ended up providing shelter and work for many refugees. Despite this, I’ve gotten a generally good impression of the empire from home: your diplomats respect us, your mages and scientists make worthy contributions, and you’ve had lenient policies towards refugees that either want to return to their homes or leave the empire’s territory.”

“Yes, Emperor Malchestor was in power for that campaign. He’s been quite different to his predecessors. He believes the empire is here to serve the people, not the other way around. At least that is what he claims. But I must say there was a radical shift in governance method. And, as always, the empire continues to expand – bringing civilization to the uncivilized.”

“Interesting. What of the dragon states?”

“Oh, of course. They have been integrated. The dragons are now treated as citizens of the empire, with the rights and privileges that come with that. I was relocated here just before the new policies were implemented, but from what I’ve heard – it’s worked like a wonder. The emperor himself visits the dragons a few times a year. The Scrivens even named their new school after him. Even the Ostrocasians are now proud to be part of the empire. Most of them. I’ve heard reports of some splinter groups that have left their land and are still causing trouble for the empire. ”

“Wow.”

“Yeah. Some of the human citizens have also had a hard time adjusting to the changes, which might be why you might be feeling a mixed sentiment towards you. Do you have any other questions?”

“Not for now. I will remain here in Shormton for some time but eventually head north. I wish to visit the Scrivens. I will inform you before I leave.”

“Ok, I will see you tomorrow then. Goodbye, Irikshan. Goodbye, Lucile and Jared.”