#They knew that the way they wrote him doesn't fit his character so they hide behind the No Byleth/Garreg Mach excuse

[the-faceless-bride]

@xxshadowbabexx has inspired me! With this fic, I've decided to take it to the extreme. Because I love extreme and insane readers, it's my favorite. So this is gonna have a big warning for mean cheater 141 (most of them) and dark yandere like reader that will hurt people.

Warnings: AN ACTUAL INSANE READER! READER IS A YANDERE! FULL ON UNHEALTHY AND DANGEROUS YANDERE PERSON! A VERY BAD INDIVIDUAL! Cheating, gaslighting, making your partner listen/watch you have sex with someone else, blood, needles, violence, kidnapping?, blackmail, stalking, forcing to take medications implications of Murder, implications of necrophilia, manipulation, dubcon-Noncon affection, kissing, reader putting marks on themselves, hugging, im serious if you are sensitive to dark content then don't read this. There's a lot of uproar about dark content and im telling you please don't read it if you don't like it. Both The guy and reader are NOT good people. reader is insane. You've been warned.

Also, I wrote this while listening to Emotion repeatedly as I thought it was fitting in a psychotic way.

Characters (in order) - Soap, Konig, Ghost, Gaz, Price, Alejandro (no Graves or Roach, sadly I don't know enough about roach to write for him and I must inform you I am not a Graves Girlie. Maybe if you have some good Graves fic I can get into him but as of now Graves just doesn't do it for me, sorry.)

Whether you like it or not.

Soap - you were seeing signs everywhere. lipstick stains, perfume that wasn't yours, hickeys you didn't remember giving him. You were certain he was cheating, but with whom? You tried poking at him now and again but he would always say the same thing, "I don't know what you're talking about Bonnie.- Bonnie don't be so paranoid this cock is all yours. I promise.- Bonnie I don't know when you became a crazy jealous person but it hurts me you think I would do that."

All lies. You knew they were. You just never got any proof. At some point, you thought you were going crazy. but that was until you came home early one day after staying a night at your brother's new house. Johnny was home but there was another car... Your best friend. Johnny had her bent over as he sucked on her neck. You watched for a moment before hiding behind the wall, you had come just in time for them to finish and start re-dressing, you let the rage fester and infect you, feeling the anger and sorrow of the betrayal of not only the love of your life but your trusted friend.

When they both emerge from the bedroom and your friend locks eyes with you and her lips start trembling the rage finally boils over. Meanwhile, Johnny made his way to you. "Bonnie it's not what it-"

You shoved him from you storming your way to your once friend grabbing her by her hair and screaming in her face, you can barely remember what you said. You were in such a rage you had let spurs of names, insults, and threats all one after the other. Only stopping when you felt a strong hand pull you away. "Bonnie stop you're scaring her! It's not what you think!" you yank your arm from his grasp, "you're defending her?! You son of a bitch! You get her the fuck out of my house before I rip her fucking hair out!" you threaten and she scrambles out between the two of you. You follow her to the door, never reaching out to grab her but you yell at her the whole way out to her car, when she drives off you make your way back into the house to deal with Johnny.

"How dare you. HOW DARE YOU! YOU MADE ME FEEL LIKE I WAS CRAZY!-"

"YOU ARE FUCKING CRAZY BONNIE!- you're acting crazy right now!"

"CRAZY?! You were cheating on me! WITH MY FRIEND! I saw you!"

" You don't even know what you saw."

He begins to turn away from you... He thinks he can fuck you the night before. Tell you he loves you. FUCK. Your best friend. Then tell you you're crazy. AND GO BACK TO RELAX IN YOUR BEDROOM?!?!

You let out a cry of anger, betrayal, and disbelief as you pick up the big decorative clay vase before giving it a big swing and smashing it to pieces over his head.

Johnny slowly turned around "Bonnie..." blood trailed down the side of his head, trying to take a step towards you but lost his footing, sliding down the wall and slumping to the floor.

------

Johnny woke up, his head pounding and his body chained to the cold hard ground. His head was wrapped and disinfected. He tried to get up but he was stuck. The chains were thick, whoever did this knew normal cuffs wouldn't hold him.

"Hey, baby." Johnny looked to his side, you sat at the top of the stairs to your basement. "Bonnie- wha- what happened? ... What did you do?"

You smiled and walked down the stairs before standing in front of him. "Johnny. You know I love you.", he stares at you. Maybe he'd pushed you too far.

"Bonnie. I- im sorry, let's jus talk bout this and we can-" he tried to reason with you, maybe if he could talk to you he could talk you down. Reverse a little bit of the damage he'd done.

"oh no, Johnny. I thought you liked my friend. So I thought I could give you one last hurrah! Before you don't get to see anyone again!"

You started walking up the stairs and Johnny began to slightly panic, "c'mon bonnie, I am sorry. Plus! You can't keep me here, the team would come looking for me!" he tried to reason.

"no! You are off due to injury remember? You are here for a good three years! And if it takes longer than you to break... Well, im sure I can give a convincing enough lie that you never made it home. Send them on a while chase looking for you!" you called from the top of the stairs, before grunting, and a large thud was heard as it banged on each step down the stairs.

Oh God. It was her.

It was her. Your friend. Her eyes were glassy and drained. Skin pale and bruised. Bloodied. Dead.

"well, Johnny. Have the last bit of your fun."

"wha- what..."

"do it. You don't want to feel what she did do you?."

"What?"

"you don't want me to have to hurt you, Johnny. Don't you?" you threatened. And Johnny knew he didn't have a choice.

He took hold of her cold body, these three years would be hell for him... He prayed that he wouldn't break...

Konig - you couldn't believe him. You'd caught him in the middle of undressing another woman. She screamed when she saw you in the doorway which prompted Konig to turn around in horror as he made eye contact, he stood up and tried talking to you as the woman rushed out the door sloppily dressing herself.

The excuse he gave you made your eye twitch and your fingers itch to wrap around his neck and squeeze. The only thing stopping you was his size. You knew that if you tried he'd have you on the ground in a matter of seconds. "I just wanted to prove to myself I was good for you!" you took a long look into his eyes. Before laughing. You laughed at him. And you laugh good and hard for thirty seconds, of non-stop hysterical laughter. And every time you looked back at him and saw his hurt expression it made you laugh even harder.

After your laughing fit you went eerily calm, before telling him in a straight face, it's ok. I forgive you.

-------

But Konig quickly got the idea that it wasn't true. One night when he came home from a mission, he heard strange noises coming from your bedroom. Konig tried to tell himself it wasn't what he thought. Maybe you were taking care of yourself? Maybe you were watching a video, or maybe... But Konig couldn't deny it for long as he heard the sound of a man grunting and you saying his name, Konig made his way to the room and there you were.

You were on your back the man was hunched over you his face in between your neck and shoulder, you Could see Konig standing behind the Man as the man continued to push his cock in and out of you, unaware of the danger he was in. You moaned louder to taunt the large dangerous man standing behind your lover for the night. "yes! Oh fuck! That's it~" Your moans were fake. Konig knew the difference as he'd heard your real moans many many times. "oh baby~ you're so much better than him! You know how to please with that cock~" you tried not to cringe at your fake words; this guy had no rhythm, no drive to please, and his cock didn't even brush against the spots Konig's cock bullied inside you. But you didn't care. You just wanted to hurt Konig. To bruise his heart and his ego. And it worked.

Konig grabbed the man by the hair and pulled him off and out of you, the man screamed in shock but you remained silent. Watching with a spiteful grin, Konig was just gonna toss the guy out. But then he noticed something... He wasn't wearing a condom... This random man had fucked you raw and came inside you... Dead. This man was dead. Konig didn't stop slamming his fist into the man, his jaw, his head, his neck, his ribs. Anywhere Konig could reach.

The man lay still on the cold floor. Barley breathing. He had some time before he succumbed to his injuries but Konig wasn't in a rush to help the man who fucked his love.

"how could you do this? Why would you hurt me in this way!? You- you-"

"I just wanted to be good enough." you said bluntly

"What...?"

"I just wanted to prove to myself I was good enough for you... That's just what you wanted too... Right, Konig?"

Ghost - he did it again. Lied again. Fucked someone else in your bed again. Again. And again. And again. You didn't get it. Had you not been perfect? Had you not helped him through night terrors? Through panic attacks? Through tearful nights when he had a particular dream about his family life? You were tired of it. Coming home and hearing moans that weren't yours. Finding used condoms that you know he didn't use with you. Clothes that weren't even close to your size were found under the bed or stuffed somewhere in his car. You hated it. You hated him. But God... You loved him. You knew he wasn't good for you, but you wanted to love him and he loved you in return.

He was out again, with his team... You hid in a seat in the far back of the pub. So out of sight Ghost still hasn't noticed you. But you noticed him, chatting up with a pretty blonde at the from of the bar. You hated her. You didn't even know her. But she had something that you didn't. You don't know what it is, but it must be something good. If Simon was out looking for it from her instead of you.

She giggled and batted her lashes at him, you don't take your eyes off them the whole time. You told Simon you'd be gone for the weekend. So when you noticed they were about to leave, you rushed to your car speeding to your house. Parking somewhere Simon wouldn't see, rushing inside and lit some candles, and pulled out some wine. And fix your hair to make it look like you had a romantic evening planned.

------

When Simon walked in he was sloppily making out with the woman his hands running up and down her curves.

"Simon?" you asked quietly playing dumb. As if you hadn't been watching him, you'd been watching him for a few months now. Just out of sight. Plotting how you could go about your revenge. Ghost would be hard to break. He's emotionally dead and doesn't let much get to him. But everyone has a breaking point.

Everyone.

This caught Simon off guard. You weren't meant to be home. This caused a reaction from the woman he brought home, apologizing to you over and over begging forgiveness as she didn't know. Then turning to Simon and giving an earful of disgust at what he had done and was going to do with her all while having a loving and caring lover at home.

You played it up by crying, just like you'd done the first twenty times he'd done this before. This time it was fake, asking what you had done to drive him away. Making the woman chastise him further. Before shaping him and walking out.

After she left you stopped crying, which also caught Simon off guard. Normally you would go one of two ways when catching him in a lie or with lipstick stains on his shirt. You blame yourself and Simon reassures you that you are overthinking and not thinking straight (a lie) or you blame him and he says it hurts him that you a person he trusts let down his walls for (lie) and would accuse him of things he would never do (another lie)

But this time you did.

"You're just like your father." **SLAM**

Simon had instantly slammed you into the wall, his hand around your throat.

"don't. Don't you EVER say that again. I'm nothing like him. I protect and serve. Nothing like him." he looks at you with a hatred you'd never seen before, it made you smile on the inside.

"oh- really? You hurt me." You choke and Simon tightens his grip, warning you.

"you lie to me. You cheat on me. You tell me you love me and don't mean it-" **squeeze**

"you hurt me. Just like he hurt your mother-"

"SHUT UP." He slams you again,

"You're hurting me right now. Just like him." Simon takes a moment before dropping his hand from you as if you'd just burned him.

He stumbles away from you. But you follow, "It's ok Simon. I promise to forgive you. If you promise not to hurt me again."

You were fucking with him. You sounded like his mother, promising to not leave or tell as long as he promised to stop hurting you. Just like his mother pleaded with his father. So so many times.

You smile at him. He rushes away reaching for the door and opening it a crack, "Simon. Don't go. Don't hurt me. Not again. Be good. Promise me."

Simon's head was spinning, trauma and pain in the front of his mind.

"promise me, Simon."

Simon shut the door.

"I promise," he whispered.

Gaz - you didn't want to believe it. He was different. You knew he was! He was the one who made this place a beautiful world. He wouldn't. He couldn't! Your heart wouldn't be able to take it. But your world came crashing down on you, you had found panties that weren't yours and you had begun to panic, no. No, he wouldn't. This is a misunderstanding. You're gonna call him. He's gonna answer and be with his mates and clear all this confusion up. Yeah... Yeah, that was it!

You called Kyle and after three rings he answered, that's a good sign! And you were relieved. But that was quickly taken from you. A woman moaned into the phone as Kyle praised her in the back, "That's a good girl, let her hear you. She her your mine baby." your mind turned to static only a few words and phrases were heard,

"mine... Good girl... My girl. .. Perfect... Sweet... Pussy made for me..." your heart racing, pounding in your ears. It cries. It aches... How can this be fair? You stayed on the phone, on speaker as you hurried around the house. You had to fix this. Who was she? How dare she try and take your place.

You were made for Kyle. Not her. He said it to you so many times. He had to be lying to her. She- she must have forced him. That's it! That's the only thing that makes sense. Why would he cheat and answer the phone while doing so? That doesn't make sense! It was her you know it.

It hurts now. Knowing your darling was being taken advantage of. Don't worry Kyle darling. She'll learn to keep her damn hands off...

-------

Kyle came home around 11:50 PM, she truly kept him locked away. Your poor baby. Forced to do such disgusting things to her.

"Lovie? Are you in? I- I don't know what came over me I-" he gets interrupted. You're hugging him. Kyle stands still. Confused. He thought he was gonna have to convince you he was trashed, filled with alcohol, and didn't know what he was doing... But you're... Hugging him? "it's ok Kyle. I know it wasn't you. I know." Kyle for a moment, thinks things he's maybe gotten away with it. "don't worry, I won't let it happen again."

What?

Kyle jumps feeling a pin in his neck, he jolts shoving you to the ground causing you to hit your cheek hard on the floor, you whine as you sit up holding your hand to your cheek. You forgive him, you expected him to fight. That's why you didn't tell him your plan to keep him safe in the first place.

Kyle reaches behind him, pulling out the syringe that stuck out from his neck. His eyes quickly become blurry and his body slow and off-balanced. He tries to say your name but he can't his tongue is heavy and his throat is tight.

He falls to the floor with you.

When Kyle comes too; his head is pounding, his throat is dry, and his right cheek hurts. He tries to get up but he can't. He's strapped down to the bed. Kyle starts to panic, what happened last night? Where-

"good morning darling." Kyle whips his head to you, causing it to pound loudly in his ears. "what- what happened, where?-" You smile and sign as you set a tray of water and medications on the bedside table. "you're at home with me darling." you turn to him placing a damp cloth on his head. "why am I strapped to the bed?"

"well I couldn't trust you would stay put, would I?"

Huh?

"oh! Also, I made sure you won't ever be bothered again!"

"bothered?"

"yup! That woman from last night she won't hurt you anymore!" Kyle stared at you confused, she didn't do anything. He approached her and went back to her place, telling her that you were a crazy ex and that's why she agreed to let him answer.

"but- she didn't do anything." you frown at him, "She must have messed your brain up bad. It's ok! I'm gonna help and fix you!" you say as you reach for the tray.

A syringe and glass bottle at one end of the tray next to some pills as well as a bottle of water. He stared with wide eyes, "don't worry the pills are just to help with the pain from hitting your head."

"and the needle..."

"just for safety, I don't want to use it but I can't have you straining yourself and leaving ugly wounds on your precious skin my love."

Kyle tried to remain calm, he didn't know how much of your words he could trust. You held the pill out to him waiting for him to open his mouth but he didn't... You sigh, you didn't want to have to do this. You pick up the needle dipping the end into the glass bottle, filling it with liquid.

Kyle began to struggle and you held him down trying to keep steady while injecting the clear liquid into his arm. Kyle felt his body weaken, not in a sleepy way but his body started to not respond right away. You opened his mouth and shoved the pill inside, your eyes getting teary. why was he making this so difficult?

After giving him some water after a struggle and him trying to spit the pill out, he finally gave in. He'd try and reason with you later, right now his head hurt and he was tired.

You climbed over him. Kissing his cheek and snuggling him, he'd see you love him. You're hear to help him. Protect him.

He'll come around. You know it.

Price - You'd been running around all day preparing for Price to come home, you'd been waiting for so so long to get your hands on him again. He's been gone for eight months, you were sure he'd be aching for you. Just as much as you were for him.

But when he came home he was... Off. He wouldn't tell you what, "later" he'd tell you over and over "later" you thought maybe something happened on the field. But all his mates were alive you know that. So what went wrong?

It's not until a month later that he breaks the news. "Darling. I'm so sorry, but- I just- a lady at the Bar..." and then everything went silent to you. Price... Your husband. Your John... Jonathan Price had cheated on you.

You hug him, mid-sentence. He starts crying, begging you for forgiveness. Crying to get you to stay. Crying to be given one last chance. And you give it...

"I'll stay. I love you. I need you. I will give you one last chance-"

"thank you- thank you, Darling, I- I promise-"

"but. I get to give you the same pain."

"w-what?"

"im going to have sex with someone. But you won't know when. Where. Or who."

"D-Darling,"

"it might be a stranger from a Bar. It might be one of your mates... You won't know, and I won't tell you. You'll have to figure it out."

----------

It's been months now, and John has been paranoid. You go out of your way to stay late after work hours, to go out with your friends and not come home till late in the night, you hide your phone, and you grab yourself harshly to leave bruises.

John questions you about everything. Why did you stay late? Who was with your friends, and who did you meet? Why are you hiding your phone, who are you texting?... Where are the marks coming from?... He's attached to you any time he can be, and never leaves your side. And goes out of his way to please you.

Showing you that he will make up for his flaws, his mistakes. Showing you, that you don't need anyone else. Showing you he's sorry.

You never slept with anyone, you contemplated it. But you couldn't. You loved him too much. But he didn't need to know that, he's never been more attached to you than he was now. He even put work aside.

Maybe if you keep him on his toes, he'll become dependent on you. You know you can do it. Make him crave you and need you as much as you do him. It's just gonna take time, lying, and patience. You'd break him. You know you can. Nobody in the military could break this captain. Nobody. But...

They didn't know Johnathan Price like you did.

Alejandro - Alejandro was out at a bar, he had just gotten back from a mission. A long, tedious, and dangerous mission. You wanted to surprise him! You'd missed him so much, that you planned to 'Coincidentally' run into him at the bar. you knew when he came home, what time, and with whom. You had a few trackers and bugs planted on him, namely his phone and the bracelets he got back on his way home.

It was the way you got to know him so well in the first place, you were a friend and a trusted one at that. You knew if you planted a bug or two he wouldn't suspect a thing.

Now and again you would do this he would mention or mumble about in his own time, it would amaze him how you had done what he asked, "just a hunch" you would tell him. You didn't do it all the time to not make him suspicious but you did it when you knew he needed it. Which made him fall you you that much more.

You had dolled yourself up just a bit and made your way to the bar he was at with Rudy and you quickly became on edge.

"im flattered, ha," Alejandro laughed as the busty brunette pushed herself into his personal space, she brushed her nails against his arm. You feel an itch, an itch deep inside as your face turns red.

Why? You thought he was different, and yet here he was. You were ready to return to your car and wait for him... But then you saw him push her away.

"get off. I'm not interested, I already told you I'm in a loving relationship, now leave me alone." he put his foot down. And she pouted and huffed before walking away. You smiled and ran over to him, putting your plan back into play.

---------

You laid in bed, skin-to-skin. Still a little sweaty from the rough session you and Ale had. You kiss him, "im gonna clean up," he hums in response. He's drifting off to sleep and you smile at how comfortable he is with you.

You turn the water on, letting it run warm before stepping in.

You let the hot water run down your body as you wash your hair, you think about earlier. Your heart flutters.

You were so thankful, thankful he rejected her. He honestly scared you for a moment.

You thought about what you would've done, you were silly. You then thought about the bag of rusted sharp tools that sat in the trunk of your car. You were so silly to think you were gonna have to get ugly with Him.

[landwriter]

Ok, for the WIP title ask game, would An Eternity of This happen to be the Oaths follow up? 👀

It would be!! This snippet is the first thing that I wrote again after too many months with not enough writing. It's a scene with Thomas and Catte after Hob has gone out after Dream about the. V grateful to it for getting the gears going again, even though it doesn't quite fit in the rest of the coda. Pleased to have a reason to put it somewhere else, like riiiight here. ~1.1K of Oaths Coda under the cut:

When they were small, Catte had teased Hob for his lack of patience. When they were grown, she persisted in doing so, for he persisted in having none.

He took it in good humour, as was his character; just as it was hers to tease him in all the things she knew better about. It was a mercy that he had been born into a saddle and not to any other manner of work. Strong though he was, she suspected he would not be able to withstand waiting even for a dough to rise. Making a simple basket had nearly driven him to grief.

It was only now, that she felt the abashed stirrings of sympathy. Patience. She turned away from the window and sighed.

“By morrow, he told you,” she said, again.

“By morrow,” replied Thomas, again.

“How many times is that now? God’s blood. It’s not as if the answer is going to be different.”

“Four, I think,” he said dryly. “You’re beside yourself.”

Catte shook her head and scoffed. “So I am. Come and comfort your insensible wife, Thomas.”

He stood up from where he was sat by their hearth, and came to wrap his arms around her. Only she was insensible on the inside, and had to shut her eyes to resist the impulse to slide out of his embrace as soon as it caught her and go back to the window. Her husband was warm and solid and smelled of smoke and himself, and she could be still as him, even if she felt less like a woman and rather more like a flystruck horse in the fields, twitching and restive and nearly mad.

Thomas pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. “I’m not sure you can will yourself any calmer than this, hart. The others are surely drinking themselves blind tonight. If it wasn’t that your company was far better, I’d join them. You’ve more grace than us all.”

She smiled at the flattery and turned her face against his chest so she could half look out onto the dark moors. “I do have more practice.”

Thomas drew in a breath. “Is this what it’s like? Each time we ride out?”

Catte looked up. He met her eyes, and she thought of all the long winters, of waking before dawn and starting the day’s labours in the blue-grey light just for a reason to look to the horizon. Waiting for her Thomas before he was even hers, not wanting to put a name to the thing that already had her looking for him in the crowd of returning riders, dry-mouthed, no matter what they called each other.

She cupped his face and thumbed over his cheeks. Her husband now. Not that it made any kind of difference to how it felt, before or after, each and every time. But it was her work to carry the waiting, as riding was theirs. He should never have learned this feeling too. He’d recall it afresh when he rode out again and feel sorry twice over, for leaving and for knowing now how it felt to be left.

“Would you believe me if I say no?” she asked.

Thomas raised his eyebrows. “No. But I’d let you have it.”

“You shouldn’t let me have anything,” she said indignantly.

“Nay, you’d prefer to win it, love,” he said, hiding a smile, and she sighed. It was unjust that he knew her as well as she knew him. “You don’t need to explain. I just don’t know how you bear this.”

“It is like this. But it’s easier, too. Tonight is different.” When Thomas rode out, he was surrounded by good men, brothers and kin, some who she would grant were even as cunning or strong as her man. Hob had gone out with nobody, against a fell enemy they had never met before, not to chance suffering but to pay in it, and no way home but to withstand it all. It didn’t bear saying, so instead she said, “I have you with me. The bed won’t be cold.”

“You’re only trying to make me feel useful,” said Thomas. He pressed his face into hair. “Catte, I hate this,” he murmured.

“I know,” she said. “I hate it too.” Outside, rain gusted down, and they both fell silent, imagining Hob, outside and alone, making his way to Miles Cross.

“I’ll bank the fire,” said Thomas abruptly. Catte looked at the hearth and laughed. It had hours left in it. Thomas had been stoking it ceaselessly. It would take the whole bucket of cold ash.

“And I suppose then we’ll lie in bed and fall asleep,” she said.

He smiled crookedly. “Aye.”

But she did lie down in bed, and soon Thomas joined her, and pressed himself to her back like another bastle wall. Neither of them spoke. Catte had been surprised to discover how much she enjoyed the comfortable marital silence that came in sharing a bed, near as much as the very foremost activities of a marriage bed. Tonight, it hardly warmed her. Tonight, they were only silent because the remainder of their thoughts were too grim to speak aloud. They sounded awful enough inside her head.

Catte wanted to throw off the covers, shake all the fear off with it, but instead, she breathed slowly, and began to paint a picture behind her eyes. It was a childish habit, to soothe and distract. She hadn’t thought about it in years. Her eldest sister had told her to do it when Catte confessed she lost sleep for her nerves as soon her friends began to ride out. Think of someplace else. It doesn’t even need to be real, Effy had said solemnly. Name every detail of it, the smell and the sound and the feel, so you can go into it like another room.

A summer’s evening, she decided. A sky dark blue in the gloaming, the leavings of a perfect clear day. Sweet smelling air and a cool breeze in her hair. Dark enough for bats to be on wing in the field, light enough to point them out still, to her children, who were bonny and hale, and favoured her and Thomas both. But tonight they were indoors, sat at her feet on a yellow woven rug, listening wide-eyed to her fearful recounting of the Faerie Queen and the night their kinsman Hob Gadling won his love. Thomas comes inside, with more lines on his face and more handsome for it, and they pester him with questions, and he laughs—as he does, easily and often now, for here in this little room their future is plentiful and kind—and fetches Hob and his fey husband, both long since returned from the clutches of monstrous creatures, and then Thomas holds Catte in his arms the way he had since they were still half children themselves, and they all together listen to the only fairy story that was true, and ended happily.

WIP Title Ask Game

[grollow]

13, 27 and 28 for the weird writer asks?

Hello hi you are one of my favorite people. <3

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

Oh we aren't pulling punches, are we? The most difficult thing for me to write, I think, is probably recovery from physical injury. I think this might be the strangest answer to this, but I can't connect to physical pain at all when writing it. You can write it graphically and beautifully and it will mean absolutely nothing to me; it will be words on the page and I will not be able to empathize. I'm always jealous of people who get butterflies from the physical because I just do not. As a result, it's very hard for me to write that side because I can't empathize with it at all and. Yeah. Like I can understand there's physical elements but I gloss over that stuff hard for a reason.

Easy is found family. It's very simple for me to envision what I think would be a healthy dynamic, what would be good for someone. I am, at my core, a character writer, and I thrive when I am allowed to let characters interact and build on one another. I love found family so much. It's my comfort zone.

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

Hmm. The technical answer to this isn't Hollow Knight related and it was because THAT FANDOM is cursed. If I go with Hollow Knight, the answer is Hornet. The reason is that I do not find her very interesting. She's a very common archetype in video game characters - the strong, stoic, responsible older sister type, with a colder edge. I feel like I see characters like her in media all the time. As a result, she doesn't exactly interest me. Every time I have to write adult Hornet, I am breathing into a paper bag and crying.

28. Who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? Why?

Firefly. Which is kind of funny because I was very scared of writing Grimm for a long time. He's my favorite character (today - sometimes it's Hollow - they rotate) and I was daunted because I wanted to write him so differently than most fanfics I'd read had depicted him. The vast majority depict him as, imo, really vapid, flirty playboy - and I liked the idea of that being a facade to hide something a lot more complex. In my first few works, I felt like I touched on the surface of it, but his POV was always super scary to me.

And then I was in the shower, trying to work out a plot hole I'd written myself into in W&G, and I got the line, "Then we shall burn together in treason," and I was like wait. WAIT. I HAVE AN IDEA. I AM A GENIUS ACTUALLY. And I wrote a lot of the scenes from Grimm's introduction chapter in W&G, and realized that I had given him WAY TOO MUCH lore for a character with sub 10k words in that fic.

I knew I had to give him his own story. But I was terrified because I knew I was going to be diverging from fanon again, which seems to be my fucking special talent. Fortunately, @aewrie had my back - they'd already laid down groundwork of a Grimm that didn't fit the common fanon archetypes, and was absolutely endearing to read. They gave me the courage to try it myself.

He's mostly been reliable to me, too. I'm really enjoying writing Red Sky most of the time, despite my current weird writing problems (that I think are less RS-centric and more Ashe-is-Struggling-centric).

[storytellersumayyah]

usual pinned post!

it's been one year since the heartbreaker's handbook went live. and a year ago, i was still deciding whether or not i wanted to share it with the world. because sharing it meant it was real. it wasn't just mine. it was something that existed outside of a bubble.

but it was the best decision i ever made. it became a fun fact about me. it inspired further pieces of writing- side stories and companion pieces, that i never really hesitated to publish. it allowed me to talk about it as much as i wanted without feeling bad, and most of all, it made me proud. it made me happy. i wouldn't have published it had it not been for all the encouragement i received.

but now it is stocked in homes and two libraries, and it's something to celebrate.

so that's why we're here. this celebration is to make me happy. because that is what art is about. making ourselves happy, and having a release.

it'll run between july 10th and july 24th, and is also open on my instagram (also storytellersumayyah) but all the requests will still be answered here. feel free to send multiple! everything will be tagged as #thhfbp, so without further ado:

everyone:

🥀 the characters as...

🌻 a little doodle of something i associate with a character or relationship

🌼 a song i associate with a character or relationship

🌸 a random piece of information about the characters or relationship

🌺 directors cut of a scene

🍄 a song that reminds me of a character or relationship

🌹 something i want in the hypothetical television adaptation

🌷 give me a scene and i’ll tell you what could have been

💐 ask me anything about the book

mutuals (including if I know you in real life):

🌙 something that happened that i associate you with

🪐 the character you would be if i wrote someone inspired by you

☄️ a random deleted scene/something that i want to write that won’t fit in anywhere else

and if you want to participate, but don't know what to send, here's a character guide! (there are more characters, but these are the ones where's the enough to actually send things about):

tristan: the heir to the nightingale name, the most powerful of all the noble families. constantly described as a natural heartbreaker, everyone seems to forget how he was groomed to become one. but children are not robots, and the pressure of everything he wants and must sacrifice in order to do what is expected is causing him to drown.

camilla: knows why her name does not match her face. she found out she was noble too late for the school to properly did their claws in, and she did not want to be a heartbreaker. but her attempts to prove the system she so badly wants to destroy wrong only seem to reinforce that they were right.

jonathan: is also the heir to his name, and the power that it carries is the only reason he was not labelled heartbroken. his heartbreaks are a performance, and not in the good way. and there is only so much a child can play at being an adult before it all becomes too much for them.

adelaide: has always enjoyed pushing the boundaries and the system as far as she could. but it was always a joke. it was never something she really wanted to change. until it was. but she's spent her life being a heartbreaker and an heir. it's not something she's allowed to actually do.

viola: is a heartbroken who could not care less about relationships. she is determined to change the system, and she doesn't care about who gets hurt to do this. in fact, the more people who get hurt, the better. but in addition to wanting everything to change, she is sad for the people who will never get to know something different.

ellias: is a first-year student, who is already stuck in tristan's web. he always knew he would be a heartbroken, but the evidence is still upsetting. his art is the only thing holding him together, and it reveals more than it hides.

victoria: is tristan's mother, in name and nothing else. she carries the name and power of the nightingale family. that reputation comes before all else. including loving her husband and parenting her son. and she will always teach him lessons in the harshest way possible, no matter what the outcome becomes.

james: is tristan's father in all the ways he is allowed to be, which isn't many. he always knows what's really going. he never helps. he's too scared that if he intervenes, if he chooses his son, his wife will leave. that has always been his flaw. he loves his wife at the expense of his son.

mr carter: grew up in eros academy and returned as a teacher for reasons that he will never disclose. it was the place that made and broke him, in more ways than one. he knows who he is to the students. he knows that they want his validation. he will do his best to save them, but he will be awful if he thinks it's necessary. his thoughts are not always trustworthy.

stefan: is the ghost of tristan's past that haunts his every waking moment. their actions still influence him, no matter how much he tries to redefine them. with soft smiles and gentle words and loving eyes, it should have been simple. only it was life, and the entire thing went in ways the nightingales had not thought to consider.

ari: was camilla's until she told him she was leaving. and then she broke his heart (and hers with it), leaving him to pick up the pieces and do what he could. there was no anger. only a soft sort of grief. and then they found their way back to each other.

rafael: is all tristan wanted as a teenager. they meet as adults, and for that they're both grateful. it gave them time to become the right people. he is stable and gentle and romantic. they know what to say and when to be silent. and despite everything, they never stop looking at the world with love and hope.

[katyspersonal]

Heyo! How about sharing some Bloodborne ships opinions/ideas? It's been a while since you talked about those!

To be honest, 'Bloodborne ships' is a concept so boundless and infinite that 'bottomless Sea' compared to it is just a pathetic shallow puddle, because in my monkey brain a BB ship is any character + any character out of consenting adults who are not blood related (and even in THAT case you'll probably have ghosts of people who ship Maria with Annalise trashing your pots at night at least once *eyesroll*). So I think, for the sake of this post having a start AND an end, I'll only touch upon "acknowledged" ships.

THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS, time to recall what is POPULAR! OOOooooOOOOoooooOOOHHHH-

WHO LIVES IN THE RESEARCH HALL UNDER THE SEA?

MAAAAARIAAADELINE

Mariadeline - I am always back and forth on this ship. It is shifting between 'it doesn't seem to have came to fruition in canon since Adeline addresses Maria as her superior, and also the ship is better in Adeline's Blood Saint stage since the horror of the Research Hall doesn't fit for some uwu fluff, and Adeline seems to be too carried by Arcane to care for simple human happiness anymore' and 'since WHEN canon "evidence" and timeline could stand in the way of imagination and simply enjoying the ideas?'. A struggle between my brain and my pp..... I think I like pretty much any way to go about this ship, but in my heart it will always be superior as attraction that not only never been resolved, but also has been a breaking point for Maria, with Adeline dying in her arms no less.

I do think they'd make a cute dynamic, it is absolutely the case where one does full autistic ramblings about their special interest (Adeline) and another just listens (Maria). I also do think they both suck at being direct about their feelings and every AU where they DID date needs the third party as a wingman xD

Laudwig (or Holyvicar, as I see often) - I do not have strong feelings on this ship? My engagement with this ship is passive (ie I just see fanart of it on my dashboard/timeline and might like it). It has a huge depth and drama potential, though! Which one became the beast first and how another reacted? How much Ludwig really knew about the Healing Church's nasty secrets; how much Laurence was hiding from him about their impending doom in the name of potential progress? I can say whereas Logarius is arguably a more useful 'pawn' in the grand plans, Ludwig's more knightly, 'naive' honor could more likely win Laurence over. I actually wrote my interpretation of the ship once! Observe:

Not a flawless ship, as Laurence has to keep many skeletons in his closet and Ludwig would have been sick if he learned HALF of the shit Laurence has to hide… Besides, there is no saying if Ludwig would spare Laurence should his precious moon sword call for hurting him. This relationship is more of a game with neigher side being allowed into depths of another's soul. However, despite his higher status, Laurence would be the one feeling more shy, helpless and red in the face because Ludwig is so big and strong and radiates hope and joy, whereas Ludwig would be more of passionate no-insecurity caring lover that had already organized a pretty date before Laurence even as much as had a THOUGHT about one. Alas with canon context in mind, this "ship" works better as a plot device to show messed up things about Church and things people gotten themselves into, to the point of no longer being allowed deep, genuine bonds.

Gehrmaurence (???) - This is canon because Gehrman basically moans his name in his sleep lol

Ok ok or OK seriously tho! I am kind of rooting for this ship and am always happy to see it recognised, I just, yet again, am passive about it and just 'like it when I see it'. It is undeniable that Laurence and Gehrman were close. Gehrman trusted Laurence enough to give himself to the "insidious Moon" in faith that Laurence WILL succeed at his designs while he sustains the Hunt for him, and WILL free him then. I do think that realising he has been failing Gehrman miserably was one of Laurence's most horrible, devastating fears when beasthood was taking him over, maybe even the last cry of his humanity. But it is that situation where character can share very deep and intimate bond without romantic involvement and it is still good; I'll certainly take them as 'friends doomed by the narrative' JUST as willingly as 'lovers doomed by the narrative'.

Gehrmaria - I do not even know whether I want to share my honest feelings about this one... lol OF COURSE I DO because nobody read the post to this point except for you anyway! xD Alright, but upon my arrival in the fandom, when I was digging up my own lore and sometimes comparing it to the fandom popular one, I was content with the idea that Doll creation was Kinda Sus and Gehrman was a bit creepy. Then I found Bellringermal's blog and was like 'OMG CURSED but you go girl!!!!!!'. Then I started to slowly develop the enjoyment of the ship that I desperately tried to deny and suppress because, again, back then I saw Gehrman as a creep, so I just blamed Mal

Yo but do you remember what actually triggered my researcher streak? OH LAURENCE OF COURSE YOU REMEMBER-

Right, I've had that dream about a snow/ice Great One attacking altered Yharnam, several characters gathering in a castle built-in the mountain, Rom being pregnant from Simon (wtf!!!!!!!) and… Maria was there too. There was that brief moment where Gehrman was awkwardly trying to see her from the shadows and someone asked Maria like 'hey who is that guy following you everywhere :т', from which Gehrman got scared and chickened away, and Maria was like '…nobody important'.

So after that time I woke up with the strange +15 Insight effect, because something about her intonation, her face and the context made me perceive the depth to which that bond went, and the complexity of her resentment. You know how in the dreams you sometimes can just... 'perceive' feelings and information that wasn't directly said? Telepathy. Makes sense, because dreams happen in the brain... or... DO THEY? So, I knew I NEEDED to grasp that exact sentiment and find out WHAT Maria was feeling in my dream. It felt significant. So that day I dived EXTRA deep into research and wrote the 'Let's analyze Gehrman, Maria and the Doll' ( x ) that not only is my real, genuine take on the relationship, but also the girls liked it and some changed previously harshly negative opinion on Gehrman.

I still wish I never poked my nose deeper on the matter and things just stayed that way, because this is the only controversial ship in the fandom and it constantly brings out the worst in fans. Letting people enjoy their ship and have their takes on the old man is far too much to ask from a western community, so for every toxic, mean-spirited, disrespectful hiss towards Gehrmaria shippers, I kept discovering new counter-evidence, new ways to see Maria and new redeeming qualities about Gehrman! Until I've lost the sight of whether I myself actually SHIP it, started to root for this ship to pick-up and prosper as a matter of 'cool people keep winning', lost the creepy but so needed 'darkness' of this ship as a concept... And although PLENTY of people thanked me for "saving" Gehrman's ass and the ship as a concept (not exaggerating), sometimes I wonder: would not it have been better to just leave things as they were and enjoy my own thing in secluded, individualist way?

Pfffft LMAO mfw you came to listen about ship dramas, but ended up listening about my PERSONAL dramas XD But yeah, my interpretation here is pretty darn simple. Maria might have had a crush but by now is greatly disappointed - based on Gehrman's curiosity that WAS digging through corpses to seek eyes for Willem, but she is disappointed in herself more than in him, he taught her a great deal but she also got her gentler, sweeter side practically ruined by the hunt, he liked her but never dared to approach her because of age gap and he just felt undeserving, he could not even dream of her because of his own regrets and crashing realisation of how much he failed her - including not being there for her to prevent her Minecraft… Another case of ship that never came to fruition in canon. But in an AU where it did happen, I think it would be bittersweet; Gehrman is older and beaten up by hard life, and is a callous brick in emotional situations at times, so their relationship would know some conflicts; not a bad thing, arguments are normal! They're both tough outside and gentle inside, both are capable of great self-sacrifice but also of great war crimes, lol. But Gehrman is just… a bit dead inside? They have enough in common to get along, but not enough to get bored by each other.

Valmura/Valtmura/whatever - Funny enough, they do somewhat remind me of how Gehrmaria is in my head! The 'dead inside', somewhat cruel and callous murderous mentor figure that Seen Some Shit before and might be intimidating with how far he goes and his sensitive, emotional, slightly naive, passionate student with great knightly chivalry that is effectively broken by walking this mentor's path, LOL.

So the same sort of relationship that is not ideal and almost certainly is canonically SCREWED, only Valtr pulls his big boy pants and sucks the grief up instead of succumbing to despair to the point of madness. I think this is a nice ship, the dynamic is great! Just the perfect balance of 'similar enough to get along but enough differences to have productive conflicts and not be bored' I do not find very often! (Also yes I keep completely disregarding power imbalance of mentor/student for both this ship and previous one, I hope ya'll are still hooked </3 )

Gasgoryk - I used to dislike this ship, actually! No shit, outright going 'grrrrrrr' seeing it because it reminded me too much of my internet childhood during my 12-13 years where the girls would always neglect the male character's canon crush/lover/wife to not "stand in the way" for their gay ship! It just felt like Viola was pushed aside despite being mother of Gasc's children...? And I thought the two ships could not coexist because Henryk MUST be Viola's father (source: younger daughter mentioning 'grandpa'). But I've since seen plenty of good interpretations, justifications for 'grandpa' commentary, and all in all, setting events in the past and AUs still exist! I just don't mind by now, I simply prefer Gascola more! But I think I enjoy the thought that Henryk might have had silent crush on Gascoigne that he never delivered and it was too late when he got engaged with his daughter; but the pain was forgotten when the first child was born!

Gascola - A lot to explore, a lot to speculate (wholesome and not much), doomed by narrative, IS CANON! Everything I love. Will always prefer this ship to Gascoryk or Violeen because... canon... guys this is SUPER canon... and they also have children, guys you don't understand, it is ACTUAL family... (too bad they all fucking die lol)

Micorom/Romicolash/whatever - This, my fellas, was my very first ship when I poked my nose in Bloodborne! I clicked with Rom so much almost instantly, and Mal was my first exposure to the ship, as well! I thought absolutely nothing could be more fun. Back then, my Rom had a different personality (simply she was sassy, bitter and a bit tired from being overworked by Micolash and Willem). I was fully prepared to become a Micorom type of fan and give this ship soooooooooo. muuuuuuuuch. CONTENT. ...but at some point I saw this:

And EVERYTHING clicked into place.

So yes, Rom being his sister is my official idea now. But- honestly, this is still such a great ship as a concept! It feels like no matter how Rom's personality is written, the two could have a great dynamic! And what is the outcome? Does Micolash end up being jealous and resentful because he hates to see the girlboss win- I mean, that Rom ascended and he didn't? Or he simply misses her and hopes to JOIN her when he ascends? I just don't know what a mf would have to do to not make a ship like this work imo, because these characters are just cursed to have The Dynamic TM no matter what. I definitely cheer people who ship it... Do what I can't! *sobs*

Hunter x Doll -

Ok ok ok listen dfhhdshdf With Bloodborne, everything depends on the interpretation, so it is not excluded there are ways to make this work! But this is just certainly not my thing.

Doll is an interesting case though, because like I said before, I think soul of Maria DOES live in her - without memories and sedated by the Moon, and Gehrman probably doesn't even know that himself. But when Doll is asleep - she is awake somewhere else and vice-versa, yadda yadda. However, before a hunter as much as looks at her the attracted way, she still needs to find a decent connection with her humanity. And there is her perception of her role as a servant for those hunters that will just stand and take it if they hit her. This is just... it is such a delicate matter that I can't even begin to cover it. It is not even the same level of delicate as complexities of mentor/student!

Rombrietas and Romurie/Yurrom - Perfect ships, nuff said. Though I feel like they are no longer 'popular' and are the thing of the begone era of the fandom (forgotten like Julie x Imposter). But from what I gathered, fandom of 2016-17 enjoyed them. I think that both of these are so likely that I can declare them canon-plaucible. As in, they could actually happen IN canon, not even in alternative/happier timeline. Ebrietas weeps the petrified corpse that looks like Rom when lyrics of her theme refer to Mensis ritual that Rom is covering; meanwhile, Yurie/Julie irrationally fights you on the way to Rom that even Willem encourages you to hunt... That's just two whole women to care about Rom deeply!

Of course not tryna push anything; Ebrietas could lament something else (maybe fate of humanity in general), and Julie could just be winning time for imposter Iosefka to do her experiments. But... why? x) I am very on board with the idea that Ebrietas worries about Rom all the way, seeing Rom becoming a 'spider' (association with Amygdalae and forbidden knowledge). She, who used to be a pawn of the Moon behind her, got in contact with her human side (as an adult celestial larvae), to the point of crying red blood when 'celestial' Kin have it drained of color normally.

AYYYYY that's why it is called 'Paleblood sky'!

Also an oldie:

She loved listening to Rom's 'epiphanies' and took her 100% seriously before it became mainstream x) Though Yurie was eager - getting angry at anyone that dared to criticize Rom even IF criticism was right! Meanwhile Rom always shared personal info with Yurie before anyone else. Plus they always had many shared interests - singing, nature, stars, bothering teachers long after classes are over with silly questions… Yurie having always been by Rom's side physically and mentally made her by effect keep Willem's teachings at heart even if other former Byrgenwerth students who joined Choir ditched those mostly. When Yurie ends up losing her sanity too, one thing she still holds onto is refusing to agree to harm Rom, completely ignoring Damian's pleading that not only it must be done, but also Rom will come out alright as a Great One.. really sad downfall.

Alfred x Crow - I am not very comfortable with the fact that Alfred... well... listen, it is a rather sensitive topic, so I will try to address it as discreet, subtly and maturely as possible. Alfred, as we can conclude... IS A GODDAMN RELIGIOUS FANATIC THAT THINKS VILEBLOODS SHOULD BE EXTERMINATED AS A KIND BECAUSE OF THE BLOOD HIS RELIGION DEEMS "IMPURE"!!! This ship is just certainly not my thing. I know Crow messed up a little by causing Eileen's death, but I am sure not even he is bad enough to deserve any advances by the guy that dehumanizes (devampirizes????) him by proxy. Sure, ship can fit into hatef4cking territory, but we talk about ship... like, relationship... relationshipies...

Ariadella - Fun fact! Despite this ship being basically the same problem as Alfred x Crow (except worse because Adella DOES kill Arianna), I used to like it initially! These two show the personalities that I can see as type of opposites that can mutually improve and complete one another! ...in a happier AU somewhere. But more often than not I am unhappy with the idea of "erasing" the fact that Adella considers Arianna worthy of being murdered in the scenario where she "dirties" the Hunter with her blood just for some shippy fluff. It is a back and forth for me, depending on how the ship is portrayed, and in what context!

Alfhunter - No strong feelings, it got nice art but I just shrug it off. Like, valid, but that's it. However, I do lay awake at nights and think:

"Man, but what could possibly make people see that psychotic religious fanatic beat a defenceless vampire queen into a bloody pulp and decide this is the most desirable man ever that they want to hook up their self-insert or mindchild with?" And you might ask: "Wait, doesn't line up, THIS is where you draw the line? But then how do you explain your crush on Micolash who's done much, MUCH worse things?". Well, I actually have an answer to that that will clarify your confusion and prove that I am not being a hypocrite! You see,

*gradually becomes transparent upon spinning around and teleports away like Rom*

[the-light-finds-its-way]

38. Fave song at the moment?

Ok so uhh... if y'all don't mind me going off about my own original-verse characters (I'm an author so I make TONS of original stuff), my current favorite song has inspired a concept I've had floating around for more than 10 years.

Honor and Might by Clamavi De Profundis

So the song is about a king who is teaching his son who will grow to fight for the kingdom, and take his place as king someday.

And my story is actually somewhat inspired by Destiny, what with the concepts of light and dark.

There's a world (unnamed) that's medieval fantasy. Inhabiting this world are the Arcturians, humanoid beings with wings of light, and they themselves are born from the Light of Arcturos, their god and maker. However these Arcturians are at war with the Void, a shapeless and impossible entity that spawns Netherkin, a more monstrous type of humanoid creature born of the Void's darkness, with ghastly white skin and claws, their eyes as dark and sightless as the Void if it were given form.

All Netherkin are tied to the Void, and it controls them, commanding its spawn to slaughter, maim, and destroy in bloody massacre to essentially clear the world and make way for the Void to come forth and exist in physicality.

The story follows the tale of Tarrow, a Netherkin who was spawned centuries past, and he seeks to be free of the Void's command and desperately so. Fearing for his life, he flees to the Arcturian lands and begs for just one to end him and sever him from the Void so that he doesn't hurt anyone else. His mind is full of screaming commands that reach his soul, and the Void is choking him near death.

None will help Tarrow since he's a plague of evil, and his poison will touch their sacred lands.

But one Arcturian, a Paladin and the king of all Arcturians named Arynium Kyniel, he kindly comes forth and promises to help Tarrow. But he does not end the poorly Netherkin. Instead, the Paladin grants his Light to Tarrow and banishes the Void from within, making him Arcturian himself.

The story follows Arynium essentially raising Tarrow in the ways of Arcturos's Light and honoring the gift he and all Arcturians hold.

By the end, the Void, unable to touch Tarrow now that he's Arcturian, grows enraged and commands its spawn to charge Arynium's castle and kingdom.

Tarrow loves Arynium who loves him just as a father would a child. The two have entrusted one another with every secret, and their love is boundless it seems. Arynium sees Tarrow's fear, and knows the man is terrified to raise a blade for the fear that he will become mad and slaughter vainly once more. So the king brings Tarrow into hiding, then goes with the Paladins to fight the Void's forces.

The Void reaches Tarrow, however, and Arynium dives forth, taking the killing hit meant for this man into himself. And he sees Tarrow distraught but promises him that you cannot fear wielding a sword because to live is to fight. What matters is WHY you wield this weapon, and WHAT is behind each swing. The king places his sword in Tarrow's hands and dies there. And Tarrow finishes the fight, warding off the Void for now.

However the land is without a king, without an heir since the king had no children, and all mourn the loss of Arynium dearly, but especially Tarrow who was closest to him. But as they all mourn, Tarrow finds a note wrapped around the sword's handle addressed to him, and it's from the king who wrote it before death saying he knew this day was coming, but it's a father's duty to fall for the sake of his people, especially those of his own make. He could think of no greater honor than perishing for the sake of Tarrow Kyniel, son of Arynium Kyniel, and the next king of the Arcturians. The kingdom is left to him, as it needs a leader who will fight with the Light for the sake of all good, not a monster clouded by shadows and darkness. And Arynium knows there is no other man fit for this sake beyond his own son, whom he's raised for this moment. He must fight. With honor and might. And someday they will meet again in Arcturos's Light, and regale in their tales of glory and valor, united by love and a bond that lives within Tarrow now, for he was reborn of Arynium's Light, and therefore holds him within. He is not alone.

Tarrow is crowned king of the Arcturians, and he successfully leads them for many thousands of years more against the Void.

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH sorry that took me SO long to write holy shit. I did NOT expect that to be so long, but that's uhh... that's the premise. I love that this singular song inspired me to pick up an ancient story that, more than 10 years ago, was also inspired by a song.

[butwhatifidothis]

I can't even begin to wrap my mind around the fact that they intentionally made Claude OOC. Like why, under any circumstance, would any developer or writer want to do that to their game? How would that in any way shape or form benefit the game to do that? Can they not hear themselves? Even fanfiction writers get flack for writing characters OOC but then you turn to THE SOURCE and they come out and say that they intentionally wrote a character wrong for the lolz?

The full context of that can be found here (near the end), but to sum it up: they basically did it to showcase what the characters would be like without Byleth/Garreg Mach. In essence, it’s them saying that “they only look out of character, but that’s just because it’s a different environment! they’re totally the same!” To quote them:

"In this game, because of the Officer’s Academy was suspended soon, the students have been taken away the time to bond with allies and the opportunity to understand each other across different houses. That fact had impact on how a lot of the students form their personalities, and thus changed the content of support conversations. If you feel “Huh? I don’t remember this character having this kind of personality…” at some point, that’s exactly the difference caused by the situation of this game."

Which... kind of speaks to their mindset regarding the characters of 3H, and I don't mean to say that in a good way. They basically see some characters COUGHCLAUDECOUGH as having such weak and malleable foundations and personalities that they would completely and utterly change the second the devs' favorite child/monastery is taken out of the picture. They even say it themselves - they MEANT to change the characters' characters, because in their mind (at least, if we take this as being their genuine intention) these characters would genuinely be nothing like they are in 3H were it not for specifically and only Byleth/Garreg Mach.

So, for example: Claude. His curiosity which brought him over to Fodlan in the first place? Byleth and Garreg Mach. His want to know the truth about his surroundings and to broaden his perspective regarding the world around him, which were also partly why he came to Fodlan? Byleth and Garreg Mach. His unwillingness to work with Edelgard, even when Byleth sides with her on CF and thus tacitly approves of her actions and even with Claude distrusting the Church and even with Claude supposedly being an amoral opportunist who sides with whoever looks like the winner? Byleth and Garreg Mach. Hopes and its creators say that without Byleth and Garreg Mach Claude would have never had the traits that he is shown to have before he ever met Byleth or set foot in Garreg Mach. Or are otherwise completely unaffected by Byleth or Garreg Mach. 

To say nothing of the fact that that quote I took from the interview is directly contradicted by... Hopes. By the characters constantly whinin' and cryin' and shiddin' and snottin' about having to fight their classmates - so much for them not bonding with those from different houses, because they literally never act like it. Hell, the one time I can think of where that ever happens is during a specific interaction in SB, on its bad end where Claude betrays the Empire. If you have Ignatz fight Claude, he’ll go on about their time as “fellow Golden Deer” and asks Claude why he’s doing this, to which Claude kinda reasonably responds “Were Golden Deer. Now you’re just another one of Count Gloucester’s lousy knights.” Which, you know, makes sense that Claude’s response is so “cold” considering that Claude has known Ignatz in this timeline as a “fellow Golden Deer” for, like a month? Max? A time in which they literally can’t even have supports with each other even on GW, so they were literally disallowed to grow close to each other in any way during that time? But Claude is portrayed as the asshole in the situation because he did not value his time with the Golden Deer in Garreg Mach. Y’know, that thing in this game that the devs are insisting 

LITERALLY DIDN’T EXIST.

It’s such a blatant case of wanting their cake and eating it too. They wanna say that these personality changes happened because “No Byleth, no Garreg Mach,” meanwhile the characters are unrelenting in their boo-hoo’s about fighting people trying to kill them because they were around said people in Garreg Mach for A MONTH MAX. These personality changes are because they’re just so much worse without Byleth around to guide them or their experiences in Garreg Mach, meanwhile Claude is the only main character (and one of the few characters period) to have his character have such a drastic change be as negative as it is - Dimitri and Edelgard are inarguably better off without Byleth, as Dimitri has a support system that’s actually allowed to interact with him in a meaningful way and Edelgard is described by the devs of Hopes to be happy in this game with everything going well for her (essentially, “We didn’t wanna step on 3H’s toes, also fuck CF in its entirety lol SB is way better for Edelgard”). But “No Byleth/Garreg Mach” is supposed to be a bad thing, but only for specifically Claude evidently, despite him being the most independent from Byleth character wise of the three lords. 

And. Like. A bit of a tangent but. You don’t really want your audience to feel that a character’s personality has ever changed, per se. You more want them to feel as though it’s gone through development in some way, not that it’s outright different unless something extreme happened to them. Like, extreme extreme. Take Dimitri, in 3H: he goes from polite if snarky and dry-humored to becoming far more prone to violence and being very distant from others between pre-timeskip and post-timeskip. But 1) that’s something that’s directly a result of his experiences throughout the story, and can be seen as something that is building up to what it becomes as one goes through the story - it’s not just springed on the player out of nowhere, it makes sense as to why Dimitri is acting differently from Point A to Point B. And 2) in both moments in his character arc, he never hurts innocents, he still recognizes people like Dedue as being deeply important to him, he rarely genuinely forces people to do what he wants more than he does nothing to stop others from following his reckless and dangerous tendencies, he’s actually still compassionate to some degree (noted here to still retain some empathy) - these core things stay the same, even if the character is acting radically different. And because of that, you can understand how he can recover, because he never lost those core traits that made him good. 

Very different from Claude in Hopes, who loses many of the things that make him redeemable despite his faults - his avoiding violence unless necessary, his curiosity, his drive for the truth, a lot of his compassion, his intellect, etc. - in favor of Something Different (aka him acting like Edelgard). Some of those traits (namely his curiosity and drive for the truth) are just never to be seen at any point in Hopes, and other traits (namely his intellect) are discarded whenever the plot needs them to be gone more than there’s a genuine attempt to develop them out of him. Claude really encompasses that difference between “this character developed into being different because of the events of the story and how they affect them” and “this character was changed into being different because them needed to Be Different Than Before.” And because he doesn’t retain those good traits that made him redeemable, his actions come across as far more damning - he has nothing within his character that could reasonably lift him from the rock bottom his actions sink him to, unlike 3H!Dimitri. It’s sad when Dimitri is unable to recover in non-AM routes, because we know that he still has it in him to become better; it’s annoying and off-putting when Clyde is able to walk off what he does in GW/SB (the latter only potentially, to be clear), because there’s nothing that shows he can better himself from what he’s done. 

And, like. You can tell that these writers kind of had no idea what the hell they were doing when making Hopes? Because they say that things are “unsatisfactory” so that 3H wouldn’t be stepped on, meanwhile they do shit like what I mentioned earlier with Edelgard where she’s literally happier in SB than she ever was on CF (with her happiness being something the devs literally said they intended to do). Claude’s tale is supposed to be heartwarming, as his character is torn to shreds and he does things that completely go against everything he’s ever stood for. The war’s not supposed to ever be concluded in Hopes, meanwhile Dimitri literally does end the war on AG’s good end (even with how much Hopes tries to gaslight the player into believing otherwise - sorry game, there’s literally no one else to fight so yes the war is in fact over). Like fuckin’ hell if you told me that each sentence in this game was written by a different person I wouldn’t immediately disbelieve you with how completely nonsensical the story is to the supposed intention of the devs, it’s just so fuckin’ bad

[hamliet]

Hi! QAF question is coming :)

But firstly I'd like you to know how grateful I am for such a comprehensive review and analysis of the QAF!!! <3 An no, you're not 20 years too late. I'm rewatching it now (for the 6th or 7th time) and your thoughts and output on the matter are very insightful for me, not just as a viewer but as a human being who tends to reflect on what life, love and being a human is. I've printed out all your posts and highlighted all the insightful thoughts. Really appreciate what you do, please carry on.

My question is: in 2x08 why was Justin so cruel to the guy he'd met at Daphne's party when he later came to see him at Liberty diner? Since Justin experienced simular experience with Brian, he knew how hurtful he must have sounded to the poor kid (and Brian was much nicer to him telling him he doesn't want to be with him). Was it a way for Justin to express his previously hurt feelings, even if the recepient was not Brian? I'd love to hear your thoughts on that. Thank you.

Awww thank you for reading my rambles! There's nothing quite so delightful as finding a new story you really love, and when I love something I want to dig in and find connections, analyze (even over analyze, but why not?) Stories can really impact our lives, and QaF, in part because of its connection to a major event in my childhood and in part because I genuinely found it a beautiful story, was very healing for me to watch. It's not a perfect story, but it helped me feel glad to be alive again, which fits it into a very rare category of story for me. Anyways, all that to say--I absolutely do plan to keep rambling, and I'm so happy to hear you like reading them.

About that scene, to an extent, yes, I do think Justin was expressing his hurt feelings. But I actually don't think he did that consciously. I think Justin's arc in the latter 2/3 of season 2--starting from this precise episode--is him becoming more and more like Brian, but not in a good way. I wrote about that here:

Throughout the second season, Brian hides the best parts of himself (literally not allowing anyone to know that he visits Justin every single night he’s in the hospital). Brian also self-sabotages himself by demanding Justin hide the best parts of himself (loving Brian) with their semi-open arrangement that fails epically, and Justin leaves him. But part of the reason is fails is also that Justin starts becoming more like Brian, even imitating Brian in word and action when he sleeps with a virgin, and… big surprise, neither of them like Justin becoming more like Brian. Justin doesn’t want to be Brian, and Brian doesn’t want to be Brian either.

But, it was kind of necessary for both of them. Brian needed to see his worst self, but not in a condemnatory sense: he needed to see it in someone he loved and knew was better than this.

Brian already is consumed with self-hatred (which masquerades, as it often does in psychology, as overconfidence), because he doesn't feel like he deserves to live or love. Those aspects--living and loving--are fundamentally tied together for Brian just as they are for almost everyone in this world, and for him they stem from his parents' abuse and cruelty. They resented his existence, and he knew it his entire life.

So, for Brian, seeing his worser traits in someone he loved--and still loved--helped him start to heal. He didn't have to witness everything Justins aid and did to become more and more like him for this to thematically fit the story and character arcs.

For Justin, well, I've talked about him facing his worst self before, but this was just the start of a spiral that ended with Ethan. His worst self had some elements of Brian, but was also fundamentally just Justin. There are ways this ties into the idea of being yourself, too, another of QaF's themes.

[period-dramallama]

A long (partly humorous) review of: Elizabeth and the Prince of Spain

Part 1: where this book sits

TLDR: i recommend this book. Of the 19 Tudor novels I have read, this takes the No.1 slot quite easily, by at least 15%. Spoilers below cut, but honestly the book is not diminished in quality by knowing exactly what happens.

Requested by @maximumphilosopheranchor

So the 1950s was something of a mini golden age in classic historical fiction. We had Memoirs of Hadrian (1951) The Man on A Donkey (1952) Elizabeth and the Prince of Spain (1953) Katherine (1954) and The King Must Die (1958). Though that's not to say all the histfic was good- there was boring Wikipedia summary-esque cringe histfic around too. The difference between cringe histfic then and cringe histfic now is that the latter uses too-modern language whereas the former clumsily attempted tudor language and ended up with tilly valleys and 'tis and 'twas and beshrew me verily.

I need to be careful reviewing this book because I can't deny it has a lot of my favourite tropes/archetypes/plot devices/what have you: the unscrupulous hero, the pragmatic heroine, enemies to lovers (ish), lovers (ish) to enemies, daddy issues, all sorts. I will do my best to be objective but at the end of the day reviews will always be coloured by enjoyment even when the book in question is knowingly and blatantly trashy.

Irwin had already written two books about Elizabeth: Young Bess (1944) and Elizabeth Captive Princess (1949). I can't say I recommend either book. Young Bess writes Elizabeth well but is hindered by a long long subplot involving Thomas and Edward Seymour and Anne Stanhope. Thomas, Edward and Anne are all unlikeable characters but not in a fun way, all three are just contemptible. Anne is also unusually 2 dimensional for a female character written by Irwin. Which means you really don't care what happens to them and you don't care when they destroy themselves because fuck 'em. Elizabeth Captive Princess is solid and unobjectionable but just.. not memorable. I cannot remember one thing about it. Like I gave Young Bess 7.5 and Captive Princess 7, but this book is the only tudor novel to rank 9.5. That's the jump in quality.

It's good, I think, that both books exist, because by the time Irwin came to write this book, she knew her Elizabeth inside out, so she could really hit the ground running in terms of characterisation.

I do wonder if Irwin planned to write this book when she wrote Young Bess. There's a line in Young Bess where Kat Ashley says Elizabeth will only love men who remind her of Thomas Seymour. But Seymour and Philip are polar opposites in pretty much every way. Brunette/blond, tall/short, Arrogant/insecure, reckless/cautious, short-termist/calculating, extroverted/introverted. So Philip doesn't exactly remind her of Seymour. There's nothing in Young Bess to suggest that the author thinks Ashley is mistaken, and the later books don't retcon Young Bess. Elizabeth doesn't fall in love with Philip, but she does consider him compatible and she thinks if she married him, she'd fall in love. If Ashley were supposed to be correct, Elizabeth surely wouldn't consider Philip compatible (even if she didn't know why).

It's not the only continuity error: in Young bess, Henry VIII knows of Mrs Cranmer's existence but not in this book where Cranmer conceals his wife's existence from the king by hiding her in a box.

^so we open with a scene a little like this, with Philip's tutor having a bit too much fun watching Charles V's Fleet get trashed by the weather. Given that the real Philip complained of his bad luck, it feels fitting that his first scene is him learning life isn't fair. (Also foreshadowing a certain event getting trashed by a certain country's weather in 1588).

From the first scene Irwin quickly establishes herself as a writer: her skill at imagery and metaphor, her ability to set a scene with minimal description (something I appreciate in a writer, although others like long long descriptions).

I appreciate that Irwin doesn't pretend that Philip was tall. She knows he doesn't need to be tall to be appealing or intimidating. He's a short hottie. A shorttie if you will.

There's a moment when all of Charles' clocks chime at once except one- the smallest which chimes in late, irritating Charles. I like to think this is foreshadowing: the smallest clock representing England, doing its own thing and upsetting Hapsburg plans in the process.

Charles isn't in the book very much at all, but that doesn't stop Irwin from giving him a well defined personality. His dynamic with Philip is entertaining and reveals a lot about both of them.

Charles is very disappointed by Philip's letter of condolence.

I can only assume Philip’s letter looked something like this:

You could argue that this book has a male femme fatale in the form of Philip, given that he's advised to basically 'give Mary good sex and she's putty in your hand'.

There are some areas in this book where you can tell historiography moved on: Juana being crazy, Elizabeth not liking women, the rather silly myths about Henry VII getting his crown in a thorn bush and Cranmer hiding his wife in a box. There are also historical errors that are rather baffling because I have no idea where they came from (not helped by Irwin's attitude to bibliographies basically being 'who can be arsed to write one'). Like Jane Dormer is described as a widow and Philip has five children by Isabel de Osorio even though there's no evidence for either being the case, and nothing to gain from making up such things.

Chapter one ends in a way that sets the tone for the rest of the book, with Charles basically being like 'oh shit, I forgot to warn him about Elizabeth being dangerous.' Well done Charles.

Overall I will say that this is a tricky premise to pull off as a novel and frankly Irwin is the only novelist I trust with it. Any other author- Fremantle, Gregory, Mantel, Plaidy, Prescott- would botch it. There would be moral judgement, there would be slut shaming. But not our girl Irwin. Our girl Irwin has our girl Elizabeth's back.

This is particularly striking as Irwin is/ was older than all of these writers, being 7 years older than Prescott. (You may recall that I suspected Prescott of slut shaming in The Man on a Donkey). I think this speaks to Irwin's intelligence and perception as a writer, that she avoids such obvious pitfalls.

[missjoolee]

Now that I'm reading things right, number 20!

20) Character A is secretly an incredible musician. What song are they playing when Character B strolls in and hides so they can listen, inevitably falling for Character A?

Since you didn't specify a ship, I will be going with Juke because this literally happened in canon and my work here is done

hahaha but really i have this au idea. (sorry if this devolves into a rambly mess)

Three Times Luke Stutters because of Julie Molina

Sunset Curve is signed and has been in the studio recording their first full length album. Julie is the head producer working with them. At first Luke was a bit annoyed by her feedback when they were recording the instrumentals because he wrote them and, who is she, but some outsider. She doesn't know their vision, his vision, for the songs. But as the days progress, he grudgingly admits that her small tweaks here and there help heighten the songs without losing their authenticity as Sunset Curve.

One day, their session ends with recording Luke's vocals for Now or Never, so the rest of the guys get to leave early. They promise him that pizza will await him at their apartment when he's done. Julie has him do a run through of the whole song and then goes back and works on individual lines. He notices she is much more particular with the vocals than she was the instrumentals, gaining thoughtful looks before asking him to try it a different way, shaking her head and then asking for something else, until they finally record something they are both satisfied with. He's actually kind of amazed at just how many ideas she has and understanding which ones will work together with what the parts around it are doing, as well as which ones do or do not sound like SC. At this point, his grudging respect is turning into enthusiastic collaboration. the things she suggests invites him to challenge himself musically. It's like playing a game with the end result being a killer song.

After an hour to hour and a half later, they call it quits for the day and Luke heads out while Julie stays behind to make sure all the files are saved and equipment is shut down properly. Ready for the next day's tenants. it's not until he's walking out of the building that Luke realizes he forgot his sleeveless hoodie on the couch back in the recording booth, (he didn't notice because right away because it's sleeveless, just like his shirt) so he heads back to quickly grab it. As he approaches the sound proof room, the light above the door signals that a recording is currently happening so he plans to sneak in and out as quietly as he can. But the moment he opens the door, he's enveloped by the sounds of piano and a voice so angelic, singing the chorus to Now or Never, and he recognizes some of the composition decisions as ones Julie had him try. these were the ones where her nose had scrunched up before he had even finished the take because they both knew it would not make the final cut. But now, with this voice, and this slowed down tempo on the piano, they work.

It's not Sunset Curve. Even doing an acoustic version, this would not fit them. But it still captures the emotion, everything he wanted listeners to take away from it when he was writing it, and his breathing stutters as he looks through the window and sees the studio lights gleaming off Julie's curls as she sits behind the keyboard. She makes it to the acapella chorus and Luke's heart stutters, beginning to fully comprehend how much of a wrecking ball of talent she is. How lucky they are to have her. She's so good at her job because she's a musician and she understands their intent. She understands how important it is for them to be true to themselves stylistically while at the same time being able to see other routes that could be taken.

No, it's not Sunset Curve, but it is Julie. Different, but compatible. And it's like he is just now getting to really meet her.

The music comes to and end and Julie moves her hands from the keys to her lap. Eyes lifting and making contact with his own through the glass. She freezes in place. He pushes the intercom button and leans down to the mic.

"W-wow. Tha- that was amazing, Julie" he stutters.

She unfreezes, rushing out of the booth.

"You aren't mad?"

"Mad? no. Blown away? Definitely."

and then they do some cute eyes at each other and small grins and biting lips before saying good bye again.

when he gets home, the guys notice that luke seems a bit more out of it than usual but they assume he is just tired. but they all notice in the following days that luke makes more suggestions on things, seeking out Julie's opinion, and they definitely notice the heart eyes he throws her way when they agree on something.

----

Wow look at me ramble. Want me to ramble more? Ship Song asks list

[lurking96]

That might sound like a weird question but... Why exactlty does Bakugo hate Deku so much? At first I thought it was because Bakugo felt insulted that a nobody like Deku who Bakugo saw as the bottom of the barrel tried to help him when he fell in the water but now apparently the narrative tries to push the idea Bakugo was scared of Deku's lack of self worth and tried to keep him at bay, which is complete nonsense? I can't help but think the author doesn't own up to what he originally wrote.

Well to me there are a few different reasons. Again. This is an opinion. Other opinions might differ and no one is absolute. Also. while these things might be reasons for Bakugou they are no reason for the treatment Izuku endured for years thanks to Bakugou. This is anti bakugou. I put it under a read more and you can filter out the tags if you dont want to read it.

To bakugou needing saving is a sign of weakness. He fights alone. He doesnt need anyone. So when little Izuku who back then already had markings off a hero held out his hand he felt called weak. Also even before he already teased Izuku and called him useless. And if you dislike someone it´s easy to draw wrong conclusions. So he thought Izuku was looking down on him. As Bakugou in general also looks down on people and calls them weak. Bakugou assumes others think like him too. To him genuine kindness and doing something without payback doesnt exist. So of course Izuku must just be faking it. Another thing is that he sees Izuku as a threat to him becoming the number one hero for more than one reason. First. His backstory. Even though Bakugou has seemingly a well off family he goes to Aldera. As described a rather shitty school. If bakugou wanted he could go somewhere better. He acts and dresses like a delingquent. He wants to paint a backstory for himself. Craft it so that people think he comes from nothing. A sad backstory fitting to an anime protagonist he sees himself as. Izuku who has a genuine backstory would actually show in comparison just what a sham Bakugous story is. Another thing is Izukus heroic heart. Again in comparison to Izuku we have Bakugou who lacks the substance. Yes he has a drive and a goal but so has every other student in UA. And Izuku has more of a heroic heart. He has a desire to save people. Third. Even while he calls him weak, useless, worthless. He still thought that Izuku made it in UA while being quirkless. He still thought he beat a bunch of robots without a quirk. Rescue points were not something known about so he couldn't think it was that. He sees him as weak and a pebble on the road while at the same time a looming threat to him. A paradox of hate really. The enemy is inferior and barbaric while being strong and advanced at the same time. The whole part of seeing his self worth and trying to keep him at bay. Well. I honestly just see that as damage control. He knows that if the full extent of what he did to Izuku would come out his dream of becoming the number 1 would certainly take a hit. He is already trying to grab the narrative and make PR up for himself. He doesnt want to loose his social standing or chance to be number 1. He wants to portray himself as great and flawless so this part of his history he would rather hide. Bakugou feels like a character that knew he would have been a side character and then tried to claw his way into main character position.

[gillianthecat]

The Devil Judge: Episode 6

I just finished The Devil Judge and something about this show compelled me to take copious notes - it had emotional intensity and layers of mystery. These are long and rambling, so they're likely not of interest to anyone else, but since I spent all that time writing it I decided, why not post it. Perhaps someone will find it interesting.

Below are my moment-to-moment reactions, predictions and analysis as I watched episode 6.

eps 1&2  ep3  ep4  ep5  ep6  ep7  ep8  ep9   ep10  ep11  ep12  ep13  ep14  ep15  ep16

I wrote about my initial impressions, up to episode 5, here and here.

This is cleaned up only slightly. I followed the spelling given in the Viki subtitles. I mostly don't explain what I'm reacting to, so this will probably only make sense if you've seen the episode recently. Occasionally I give timestamps.

Does this mean JSA is also on a personal revenge quest? I'm not sure how I feel about that. Or obsession?

Ok. Getting into conflicting memories, the un/trustworthiness of flashbacks. I'm not feeling as negative about this. Or at least like it might not ruin JSA as a character

Both these child actors are fabulous 

Hmm thoughts "no one to protect"

I don't think any major changes in how I'm thinking about JSA? She hasn't been flattened out yet which was my fear - her motives still feel complex or at least opaque enough. Power? Money? Ownership? Revenge? It could be a specific obsession with Y but I don't actually think so. 

Hmm, G and e's convo at  (3:30), (13:45)

Gothic house! (17:53)

(18:15) This scene in the study! Domesticity! Y's face! Stares at G and then covers up E Tripping on the chair - somehow unexpected and surprising realistic capstone to the whole stylized scene with JSA. A release of the tension, letting go of his game face. 

Hmm... evidence of him deceiving with the complete truth. Also Ga-On really does not want to hear about his sex life. Which pleases Y. (Who wore his robe slutty style to where he knew G was sleeping.)

(21:25) "I'm tired of this family. Let's eat rice like normal human beings."  !!!!! LET'S! Is he starting to think of them all as a family!!! Domesticity! Governess romance story in this house! 

Y's outfit! "Why are you staring at Ga-On's butt?" projection much? That cute little run. G's pleased smile and whole thing at serving them this feast. Y's pouting, but he's being so unguarded even though he's pretending to be guarded. 

I can't even.  They are all so cute. Such a contrast with everything everywhere else. Except actually, now that I think about it, in G's early rooftop scenes with YSH. He's a man who likes having a family to take care of. 

I do want to know what the story is wit Y and e's relationship 

Ok, but the way Y ate that... while staring at G... his tongue... and now he's stuffing his face of course he loves the food. 

(23:50) "16 years as the son of restaurant owners and living alone for 13 years." I guess he's about 29 or 30 and his parents died when he was 16

Oh, the housekeeper is hurt... Y never eats her food (but he wants G's!) Y is embarrassed (so cute and awkward trying to run away) "this unfamiliar harmony that doesn't fit with this house"

G definitely hides his cleverness behind pretending obliviousness or naivety 

Hmm this charm offensive on Elijah. Only what it seems or is he trying to give the cop an in to the house?I would buy either at this point. 

(25:53) E's questions about their relationship.  They both look a little shifty hmm 

All day G has been more playful than we've seen him. I don't know why. 

So Elijah is 16. 

Y is starting to freak out. 

Ah. She is there as a cop. But that (seemingly) wasn't his intention. 

(27:35) convo on pre-fire donation. (In case I need to put together clues later)

She's maybe protective of Y against an outsider?

Oh wow. Scared and angry y. Does he have a tracking device on her? Or is this movie magic?

Many thoughts about all 4 of them. But also this is very governess romance. 

Ji Sung is gorgeous but also the nuance he can convey. He's amazing. 

(29:48). The contrast between the way the domestic and the political are filmed. All these mirrored upside shots. Here there's a literal mirror. 

The house is dark but warm - wood, sunlight seen entering, fabrics. Color palette still limited and muted, but a shift towards browns. Political world is glass and marble and metal. Artificial lights. Black and white and maybe grey. Reflections. The other setting is outside with the public - disorganized, messy, lots of soft clothing though, closer to the domestic palette? Not sure how YSH and G's roof fits. Do we ever see inside his actual house? (My prediction is we will return there temporarily and briefly once or twice when G or Y or their relationship is in crisis.) G and YSH often meet in outdoor spaces. Also G with his mentor?

We have JSA with unknown people. Male idols and older rich women? Ah! What is Cha doing, what's the stated purpose of this gathering, what is subtext?

Wow this has to be a deliberate gender reversal of this kind of scene. This amazing choreography around the cigar! 

Is this an intentional reference to the castration stuff from last episode 

(31:40) political convo around dream village 

I assume JSA orchestrated all this? To bring down prices on the land? Or just to incite chaos?

Ah, these two are the businessmen's wives. And that was Jae Hui whispering to JSA 

Ah, JSA returns to offer a solution. And they volunteer to donate the land. 

Cha was doing this for JSA I guess in return for her help with her son, although I'm not clear that JSA has done anything that actually helped yet. 

(34:02) Cha: "But who's the real Master Seo? Is it that old man who disappears at the drop of a hat to go into prayer? Or..." bites a mint and stares significantly at JSA

"Just catch Kang Yo-Han, like you said you could."

I do feel likes there's erotic tension in the way these two are filmed together. Not sure if it's intentional or not. 

(36:15) Back home. This is what Y looks like when he's actually angry, not pretending to be more or less emotional than he really is. It's because of his fear for E,  but perhaps also because he already instinctively trusts G with his true self? Even when he's furious at him? 

In contrast to the scene immediately before, where JSA is wearing masks even when totally alone. 

The threat scared G, but he's not terrified 

Who is mentor meeting?

Is G fucking insane? He doesn't even know if she's a major threat! I'm not clear actually why he's going after her. He was suspicious, but I don't think he's seen enough of her to be that suspicious?

What a good boy grabbing the helmet first (I'm sure it's because of stunt doubles but it's cute)

Ok, I was not expecting this action movie sequence but it's fun.  But what do we think of G as an action hero? Does it fit him? This is the quickest thinking he's done yet.

But not the wisest since it turns out to be a trap. And they want G to think motorcycle woman works for Y?

JSA and Jae Hui are cute together.  

(40:55) mentor looks alarmed to see G watching

hmm, I wonder if I should be suspicious of him. Not sure yet 

Jeong Seon-Ah is definitely flirting with judge Oh. Or using flirtation or however to describe it. 

(43:00) first overly feminist statement. From JSA to judge oh 

After the sweetness of that breakfast, a rift is regrowing between Y and G. They trust each other less again. 

Return to the theme of danger of the televised trials - turning the public toward vigilanteism and mob violence. 

(45 ish). Doctor safety (Jang Gi Hyeon) withdraws lots of cash, YSH tails him. 

Are these all JSA's seeds?

YSH's cop boss is conspiring with Mysterious Assistant. And the funds were from judge Kang? Or at least he knew about them? 

It's like Y and G are in one genre at home and another outside. But it works somehow?

Oh fuck. Is Y behind this attack on YSH? I don't want it to be true but the phone convo was definitely trying to imply that to us. 

What is happening! (51:30)

Hospital at (50:15)

Minister Cha's statement (51:30)

Confrontation (52:20)

JSA home or bath at least marble metal porcelain white and cold like public spaces. Opposite of the gothic castle 

And we're already getting hints that Jae Hui was the attacker on JSA’s orders. 

Was that some sort of threat on the rooftop? Obviously deliberate and planned. But what's the plan? Who's in control of what? 

That's a lot of plot all at once. 

Isn't this all on Chairman Parks tv channels? Or he doesn't even care if he’s accused as long as it's big tv?

JSA's expression. She doesn't look upset. Amused by the twist? Happy at the downfall of some or all of those players 

The mutual staring of course. In case we got distracted by the political intrigue and forgot. 

eps 1&2  ep3  ep4  ep5  ep6  ep7  ep8  ep9   ep10  ep11  ep12  ep13  ep14  ep15  ep16

[motownfiction]

any of the goodbye yellow brick road series: 2, 7, 8, 12

love you linking to this in case anyone else ever wants to actually read it lmfao 😔

2. what program did you use to write this fic (word, google docs, etc)? is that the program you use for all your fics?

i use google docs for motownfiction! the reason for that is that copying and pasting from word into tumblr looks fucked up, and i don't like it. but when i'm writing something "serious" (e.g. the novella about charlie and daniel, which i actually wrote before any of these vignettes), i use word.

7. what inspired the idea for the plot?

well, that charlie and daniel novella hinged on the fact that sam was dead, and i knew that i would have to actually cover that when i decided to expand the universe. there's not really a plot to this series as much as there are just ... character moments and personal developments ... but part of what i've been really into lately is highlighting the parallels between will and sadie (our protagonist's two favorite people, save for her daughters), and i was especially interested in how those parallels would look under the circumstances of extreme grief and doubt. here, will has lost his best friend in the world, and sadie has lost her twin (or, as she often puts it, herself outside of herself). they don't know what to do with themselves now that this big part of their lives is gone and never coming back. so, what i was interested in was showing the ways in which sadie and will kind of "switch places" under this kind of pressure. will becomes a teacher (of sorts) and takes up a lot of volunteer work; sadie recklessly drives around the metro detroit area without a real clue of where she wants to go, if anywhere. they're feeling similar grief and hiding behind smaller facets of their personalities to mitigate those feelings, and in the end, they're the only people who will ever get this grief in the same way. lucy can try, but for as much as she loved sam, she's not in the same place.

i've also been really interested in highlighting the parallels between lucy and sam, who always wanted life to be more than what it was. lucy and sam are my lofty goals squad. but now that sam is dead, poor lucy is part of a broken parallel. that's something she has to wrestle with, but considering her own emotional immaturity, it's not something she's good at. she needs to get good at it.

also, since this doesn't constitute a spoiler, this is the series where we'll see a foundation between charlie and elenore. i needed to establish that so that it made more sense than ... previous iterations of a similar dynamic.

8. what inspired the title for this fic? is that usually how you choose titles?

i mean, yeah, it's named after elton john's "goodbye yellow brick road," which is so funny because i'm not much of an elton john fan in my daily life (i don't hate him or anything -- just not someone i typically gravitate toward, with a few exceptions). it was between this and something from david bowie's "starman," but i went with this one because i thought bringing in imagery from the wizard of oz worked well for what the characters are going through. grief has launched them into a dimension that they didn't think could possibly exist, and all they want to do is go home. plus, in this universe, it's elenore (not carrie) who relates hardcore to dorothy gale, which i'm pretty sure i'll explore in this series. and i do normally choose song titles and lyrics! it's just easy and fun and i think it works really well with the motown/musical themes of the universe as a whole.

12. was there a scene you wished you could have included? why didn’t it fit in?

in the most recent vignette, i really wanted to follow lucy out into the living room after she cries. that way, we could see her with will and the girls, since i've never actually written a scene of all four of them together before. but it was just getting really, really long, and i thought i'd better cut it at lucy crying and save the callaghan-o'connor family scene for later. i'll get there!

[ghoulishhusband]

I just realized I can actually talk here. Like this is my account fuck u

Fucking uhhhhhh, hi ig lemme ramble abt my God ocs yea?

Ignore this part if you don't wanna hear (likely) unedited rambles lol it doesn't matter

CW: neglect/abuse, assholery/narcissism, manipulation, tread lightly!

read the under cut owo

Also don't steal my art I'll fucking?? Fight you????

So

I have three main gods that I wanna talk abt especially bc they've been on my mind lately.. Less get it, side notes are in (parentheses) and are bolded cause I have perception issues whoo I don't want it to jumble together is my point lol

First up is my asshole,

Giodine

they/them (preferred)

god/godself (i like pronouns that fit my characters, so I'm giving a bunch away for one night only at--)

ID : Giodine is colored with gold-ish yellow skin and ginger hair. Their eyes are a muted purple and they have tiny eyebrows. Their lips are a muted brown and are full looking, their nose is sharp and points down. They have wings for ears and is wearing a blazer with a long-sleeved, collared shirt underneath it. The background is beige with a yellow square and a dark purple square partially encompassing it. It is signed GH (for ghoulish husband), Spork, 21.

(lemme know if that helps at all! I'm sure I can do better so lemme know!)

If they look weird here it's bc I accidentally made their face too long but believe it or not this is in fact just a doodle Ik I'm so fuckin talented babes.

Anyways, they're basically the first God to ever exist on my version of earth (though even that is fickle rn, world-building is hard unless I hyper-focus on it, and haha Guess What I Haven't Been Thinking About) and they're very egotistical and selfish. As I'll probably yap about later is how they're manipulative as well, especially to another God I'll mention, and very neglectful to the other... other one.

Their partner(professionally), or fiend as they call him, is sam who for the first few eons was, unsurprisingly, absolutely terrible to him. A few tender moments are few and far in between in what could only be described as a completely rancid relationship. I'll describe giodine's side and in sam's lil ramble, I'll describe his :]

I have to explain this because it's a big part of the lore and how they can't work together, even when one of them is very much near The Void (technical death for gods) BUT basically, with Sam, giodine created purgatory. The issue here is that they basically seduced sam into doing it. Well, even if they hadn't, sam was in lesbians(happy pride month lmao) with giodine and would've done it anyway. But the ISSUE is that with the creation of purgatory came complications. See, my gods have to take time to develop into their power, and considering giodine was first and sam was around 666th.. you see the issue. Sam wasn't into his complete power yet and thus lost a giant part of it that went into purg.

See, giodine saw no problem with this (until much later, they do get a VERY SLOW BURN redemption arc cause this ain't even the worst of it), they got what they were aching for out of them and thusly had no need for..sam. They laid him in the spot where she was made (fwi it isn't inherently sexual, it can be, but literally, they just merged together-- taking bits and pieces of each other (which sam did not have enough of) and earth and light yadda, yadda I'll post the story I wrote for that later if I'm up to it) and left him there in the grass.

Again, they saw no problem with that, the deed was done, they didn't care anymore. A common issue in their qualms, sam and Giodine. They did find an issue in Sam finding an issue in the lack of aftercare, which resorted to any message going to or coming from sam going straight to his assistant and going back through them for a couple of thousand years. They found that infuriating-- how could he not face them over something so small! and for years?! it was ridiculous. After forcing a face-to-face meeting, a heated proclaim of hurt from sam, and a bitter agreement to meet up every now and again, they got what they wanted from him. Again. It was a business after all, there was no point in making it harder than it needed to be. 

Giodine doesn't necessarily like boundaries and tends to overstep sam's frequently. They also don't like his reaction to his boundaries being long jumped over, which thusly ends up in disgruntled messages being sent back and forth between them and his assistant for a month or three. It slowly gets through to them, but they tend to say some stupid shit and if they want sam to stay, they have to try and avoid mentioning how "overly sensitive" he is to something that happened eons ago.

(quick mention, there isn't like. time. here. so in all honesty, giodine probably counted earth days instead of Heaven 'days' to get that) Soon into their arrangements to meet, they seem to get on at least tolerable terms, obviously, a few meetings where neither of them feels like going apeshit and taking proper shapeless (or in sams case, he's got a newfound form for ANGER OO just for giodine 🤗) forms isn't going to fix a grudge that has yet to be apologized for by the way. But it's a start to a very long process down the road. Tolerance.

Giodine as an entity is very fickle and rude and demanding. They tend to have a short temper that no one else is allowed to have or comment on-- They were the first therefore they were the most important!

This is very obviously an issue. But it's mostly directed to purgatory. Almost all of their seething rage is pointed towards the poor entity, she's barely been alive yet and they already seem to hate her for things she doesn't know how to do. Honestly, I don't think Purg will ever fully forgive them for the unnecessary abuse of her character, but just as Sam and Giodine get on better terms, they had barely just begun fixing the hole in their relationship. As of now, Sam/Giodine don't have any minor plot points with purgatory other than the major one so I don't have a lot to say about their relationship right now. Maybe one day.

I'd go into details, seriously, but I just wanna ramble about their relationships with each other and their impact on each other's existence. Hope you don't mind a few secrets 😉

But, now, it's time for a new God, one I think most people take a liking to...

Sam (Samuel)

He/him

ID: Sam is surrounded by clouds in the light blue, fading to a darker blue sky and the yellow sun. His horns are a darker beige, which is being highlighted by the sun shining down on him, he also has pointed ears. His skin is red which is very prominent in the sun. His eyes are completely yellow, his hair, beard and mustache are also black. He has an orange scar crawling up to his Adams apple. His wings are a darker grey which is also being highlighted by the sun. His nails are painted black and his hand is holding up the black fabric barely covering his shoulders. Around the painting is a gold and red shaded frame with swirls complimenting each side and a crystal at the bottom of it. It is lightly signed GH, for ghoulish husband.

Sam, Sam, Samuel.

If you don't realize right away, Sam is basically Satan, he's the ruler of hell

Like how giodine was the first to appear on earth, as mentioned before sam was 666th for funnie reasons. Sam was made from bugs, dried blood, and sunlight which sounds pretty gross, but he's far from it. He's a silly, yet neat, guy. He wears Hawaiian shirts and khakis (not around giodine lmao) for cryin' out loud! how bad of a person can he be? Apparently to giodine (for a while obviously) he was the most retched entity to exist. This very much hurt him considering the amount of fake care they showed him before. With a mixture of confusing feelings (which wasn't supposed to be a thing but Univerce went "lmao you'll be fine" and left... short explanation, Univerce is the Universe and is the entity who simply builds these planets and gods that'll appear there and leave them to their own devices, xyr not extremely important in this story. Nor would they care.) and feeling used, he decided that no he wasn't going to take that.

If there is one thing Sam knows how to do is to self preserve himself, even if that means getting passive-aggressive notes sent to him every once in a while. While this period, Sam was surprisingly the least productive (unfortunately giodine knew this and eventually mentioned it in one of their meetings which made him hide away cause like hell giodine was going to be critical of /him/) but he managed. It wasn't terrible, but unfortunately, Sam being able to talk it out with someone who does practically the same work as he does and gets newer, more helpful ideas was better in the long run.

Unsurprisingly, Sam was the first to initiate the healing of his and giodine's relationship but it wasn't reciprocated. Who would've figured, aye? Giodine kept pushing it back onto him and ignoring any progress that could've been made before. Which was frustrating.

The painting above was 'painted' by giodine, which is sorta where their relationship gets somewhat on an understanding of each other. Giodine gets to take a deep long look into who Sam is and tries to express it but it never fit him, it makes them realize that they never really-- truly got to know him. And all it does for Sam is make him even more confused about his place in giodine’s mind. He figured it's another fluke to get him to do something, so he ends up distancing himself when they start actually reciprocating his friendship advancements.

Suddenly, like a flash, Sam was forced to stay with giodine which is where the majority. I'll explain.

Sam...isn't actually the ruler of hell. Anymore, anyways depending on the timeline. His and purgatory's relationship has always been complicated, she always avoided him, and when they talked she always seemed scared of him. So in the end, they've never been close. Distant. Sam always wanted to talk to her, he made her, but if she didn't want to talk to him he wouldn't force it. But imagine his surprise as Purg singlehandedly took over hell in a hazed frenzy.

And not only that, had a personal vendetta against him!

Well, that would be the only explanation to Sam considering how he ended up broken and barely 'alive' at the hands of her. Horns broken and in tatters, pain and almost obliterated it felt like a hate crime. He didn't know what to do when he made it to the office, Purgatory was creating chaos outside his door and barely being able to breathe he felt like it was the end. So he called giodine. 

Purgatory

She/her

ID: Purgatory is surrounded by flowers that are dark grey and white. The light fades down into a dark green. The light shines down on top of her straight, white hair that has yellow flowers tucked into it.  Her skin is a dark brown and has a orange-ish yellow scar on her shoulder trailing up to her neck. Her skin is also highlighted by the sun. In one of her eyes, her sclera is black with an orangey, glowing iris. As for the other eye it it has a white sclera and the same, glowing orange iris. She has wings for ears, one dark grey and one white along with beige horns. She has a white fabric covering her chest. The frame is gold with white accents, but also has vines and moss crawling up the side. 

(may have goofed a bit and forgot to color the sclera of her other eye white but ignore that pls)

Purgatory was made by Sam and Giodine, but to her it felt like a mistake. Why make someone that you’re going to be terrible to, she believed. Giodine seemed to hate her and eventually made her section almost obsolete because she simply wasn’t able to keep up with the backlog that she wasn’t taught to deal with. Not only that, she didn’t have any help with any of it, it was almost like she was expected to just do it on her own. Until Death came along to help, but that’s not what we’re going to be talking about right now. 

And also, Purgatory is Purgatory yadda, yadda, I wont insult your intelligence.

Giodine’s thought process (other than wanting to be Real Close to Sam and once that thought filtered out, promptly ignored it) was that all the extras that don’t fit in either category of their thought of good and evil they’d go to her. (doesn’t matter cause in Sam's system it filters through ‘levels of assholery’ and depending on how bad you are you either just vibe in the upper city under rule of capitalism and possibly many under paying jobs or being actually tortured for his amusement if you’re just evil. Morally grey. Anyway, it could work p well in heaven if giodine wasn’t such a damn stickler.) But in the end, every day, less and less people ended up in purgatory, leaving her with barely any people and more verbal abuse from giodine who ‘HAS to take them or they would be more dead than they already are’. You see the pain she has to go through, right? 

~Idea section, this is probably not canon anyways so dont take it serious~ 

My thought is that another oc (BA, you may have heard of him idk) takes over simply because Purg took multiple hims from alternative timelines (which isn’t allowed but what’re they gonna do, undead a dead clown? multiple times from multiple timelines???)) because she adored him and they figured ‘well we gotta redo purgatory may as well do it like this’ and make him a demi-dead-god. i think thats a cool idea right? anyhoo

~Idea section over uwu~

Purgatory overall is a fairly timid character, she doesn’t like conflict, is easily overwhelmed, and generally keeps to herself. She doesn’t see the point in being in any drama if she’s just going to be yelled at and scolded even if it’s not about her. The only way i could describe her taking over hell is this: 

She was tired. She was angry and after feeling like nothing was in control or in her hands, she snapped. Why doesn’t she get anything or get to be ‘all powerful’ but they do? She knew if she took on Giodine she’d likely get thrown to the void, but sam? He felt fair game. Considering her fear of both of these gods, she planned and got her courage up to take him over. She had considered negotiations but in the end, she ended up going into a haze and ruining everything in sight. She was more powerful than she thought and once she started, she didn't stop until Death restrained her and Sam was already in pieces at God’s doorstep. 

The aftermath was fuzzy for her and for everyone really. Godine was planning a take back hell while actually worrying for sam, sam was planning for a retirement, and she was being consoled while trying to get in contact with sam to apologize. Giodine wouldn’t dare let her talk to him, until she just showed up in their office. She didn’t have a problem with Sam, honest, she just was going to take shit over, but it got out of control. 

Spoiler, Sam took her apology and they actually became.. somewhat closer after reaching an understanding. 

I wanna say that giodine took them being okay and sam retiring as good as sam did about purg running hell, but they didn’t. Giodine and purgatory actually barely got along in the first place, and only begun ‘working’ on their bitterness toward each other because they both had sam to encourage it. I can’t say for certain if they’ll get better, as theyre both undying and have time, but I’ll just say for now its uncertain. 

Also, Death is Purgatory’s girlfriend after all of that lmao.

And.. yeah, i hope this makes sense and that you like my drawings and ramblings about my lil story in my head, i guess this is my way to develop it without just keeping it to myself cause god forbid i keep things to myself hshsh. If you made it to the end, thank you for taking the time to read and attempting to process everything, and even if you didnt read and just looked to look at my art thank you to!!

I may post some art over on @ghoulishhusbandart cause.. it was my art account before i completely forgot about it but i might reboot it! But if you wan art NEOWWW follow me on insta (ik cringe lmaoo) by the same name as this account @ghoulishhusband​ or just click that insta link! also ignore the fact that giodine is the only one without a portrait, maybe I’ll replace it the next time i draw but im graduating on monday and my dad’s coming TOMORROW?? so i won’t have too much time to do it... but i hope you like my art anyways :]

ok!! ty!! ily!!

[thehltwoghosts]

So, I was watching Just Like You mv and here I am...

There are lots of posts that showed us what really the newspapers were talking about, I just wanted to show this one especially, I found it interesting. And I didn’t see, If anybody ever talked about this before. So let’s begin.

In Just Like You music video at 0.52 there is a story on the left side. 

The story of a girl who was diagnosed with anxiety and anorexia then she wrote Scrambled Heads to help the children learn that mental health is not something to be afraid of. 

From the article;

‟The overall message of the book is that it can be scary but there are steps you can take. It’s about letting children know that If you have these feelings, you can speak to someone and things can be done.’’ 

Doesn't it sound like something else too? So let’s get more into it.

‟How do you explain such a complex issue to primary school children?’’

‟Scrambled Heads explains that mental health is not always visible. The main character; an egg, looks as If it is healthy but below the surface it isn’t. The egg has a bandage on its head but when it looks in the mirror it can’t see it.’’ 

‟On a visit to a doctor in a hospital, the egg is split in two with its insides on display. It shows that it’s not just on the surface, there is a lot underneath.’’

This literally can be about how gays didn’t know at first what they are really interested in ‘cause it’s not always visible. With time you are beginning to discover yourself. Even when you look at yourself and try to find what is different with you, it can’t be seen. Because it’s in you, it’s a part of you that you don’t need to see at the surface but feel from the inside. 

Alive / End Of The Day

‟The priest thinks it's the devil. My mum thinks it's the flu but girl(boy) it's only you.‟

‟My mother told me I should go and get some therapy. I asked the doctor, "Can you find out what is wrong with me? I don't know why I wanna be with every girl(boy) I meet. I can't control it. Yeah, I know it's taking over me. I'm going crazy, can't contain it. So tell me just what I should do?‟

‟She said, ‘Hey, It's alright, If it makes you feel alive. Don't look back, live your life even if it's only for tonight.’ ‟

So on a visit to a doctor, the boy finally realized. He looked inside and saw that there isn’t just the surface / the face he saw is a part of him but his inside too. He’s not like how people see him from the outside, there are a lot of feelings hiding and waiting to be released from underneath.

Also when this story appears in the screen, the lyrics have been showing are ‘’Yeah, I feel the same as you do.’’

(Louis you’re just such an intelligent person, idk what to say. Harry is absolutely right, you're loud, loud, loud :)

These are from the book: 

‟When I'm down I need H to talk to.’’ 

‟I'm sorry If I say ‘I need you’ but I don't care, I'm not scared of love. 'Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker. Is that so wrong? Is it so wrong that you make me strong?’’ 

This is the article I’m talking about.

Also, What are those???? Louis explain!

And there is a quote from Ta-Nehisi Coates in the same page. (In left corner, inside of a talking balloon.)

“It was as if I had spent my years jiggling the key into the wrong lock.” 

Also again I found something, there's an interview with Emily Palmer who is the author of the book:

‟You explain mental health using eggs for your analogy. What made you pick eggs?’’

‟I chose to use eggs as the characters in the book for two main reasons. Firstly, I chose eggs as they come in all shapes and sizes and can be made into lots of different things depend on how they are treated, e.g. scrambled, fried, boiled. By using the eggs, and incorporating it into my title, I wanted to help encourage the idea, that even though we might all have been through different experiences, at the end of it all, we are all just like each other, and deserve the same help.’’ 

‟I'm just like you even though my problems look nothing like yours do. Yeah, I get sad, too and when I'm down I need somebody (H) to talk to. I feel the same as you would do. Same stress, same shit to go through. I'm just like you. If you only knew...’’  Omg, I'm now almost sure that Louis wrote JLK from this????

‟Another reason I chose to use an egg was during a stay in hospital, I overheard a conversation between my dad and a nurse where he described the way I communicate as being like an egg. He said to the nurse that, like an egg, I had a hard exterior and tried to avoid showing my emotions, but under that hard shell, I’ve got a lot of emotions going on inside that we can’t see unless I let them in.’’

Last but not least;

‟So far we have raised over £500 for YoungMinds. YoungMinds are an excellent mental health charity geared towards supporting young people, and I decided to choose them as I felt their work fitted in very nicely with the aims of the book. ’’

@YoungMindsUK  Talking about everything that a child could go through. Anxiety, stress, bullying, self-harm...

I love your mind lou :)

Wow! That was it guys. Please share your thoughts. Thanks for reading it, take care xxx

[rj019]

The characters don't belong to me. All credits to Marvel or Disney or Stan Lee idk.

So this is my first ever Tumblr Post (人*´∀｀)｡*ﾟ+

Hope you guys will like it.. I'm new to this & I might make some mistakes so I hope you guys can understand and help me throughout my journey (◍•ᴗ•◍)

_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_

Title : Genius, YouTuber, Artist, Musician and Spider-Man

Fandom : MCU

Pairing : Starker(tony stark x peter parker)

Rating : Mature (NSFW, Sexual Content)

Prompt : Social Media

Summary :

Tony started crushing on a guy who is 5 years younger than him... And You all know who that is 😉 one and only Peter Parker.

And Peter has a very famous Youtube channel since he was 6. But he always wears mask in his videos to hide his face. He often mentions his crush on Tony Stark since he was 12 in his videos.

" CHAPTER - 0 "

The notes below are for the things that happened till Peter is 20 from when I'll actually start the story. I didn't wanted to get it all mixed up. So I wrote these so you guys can understand the AU better and how everything came to be and not get confused. It explains everything about Pete's social media, everyone's ages and which part of MCU is included and which is not, and the changes in the whole storyline. So these are must read it if you want to read the actual chapters. (☆▽☆)

Notes :

Tony is 25 year old in this and Pete is 20 and they're both certified geniuses. And they are both Bisexual.

Tony's perants are alive. Pete's uncle Ben is also alive.

Howard is a good parent and husband in this fic and he himself is a Bi so congrats!! No homophobia 🤗

Howard made Tony CEO of the company when he was 22 and only took semi retirement and only went to company once in a while to keep an eye on things. Tony graduated from MIT when he was 17 and then he started helping with company 😀

So Avengers and S. H. I. E. L. D. does exist in this AU but sheild isn't publicly known nor does anyone knows Avengers' real identity that includes Tony's😉 but that was just until New York battle.

Howard and Maria obviously knew about Tony being Iron Man. Tony told them after he came from Afghanistan and created the armor. There was no way to keep it hidden from them. Like all the parents they were reluctant to accept it as it will endanger his life but the accepted it at last.

Tony was kidnapped when he was 19 and when he went to Afganistan for his first ever deal without his father. And bla bla happened and he became Ironman and then he told his father about the Arc reactor tech and told him that there are many other things that can get their company to it's peak and asked him to stop the weapon business and Howard aslo thought about it cause after all he almost lost his one and only son (told ya he is good parent it this one) and then you know what happened 🙃

Howard is alive so no Obadiah Stane.. So no IM 1 events after he came from Afghanistan happened. They hid the fact that tony has arc reactor in his chest though. And world only knew that Iron Man is getting help from SI because of the arc reactor technology in the armor but they could never expect that it's Tony Stark himself. ( yeah yeah I know not very convincing but bear with it cause its a fiction right😅)

Papper, Rhodey and Tony are best friends from childhood cause their parents are friends. So he tell them about IM too. Papper works with him at SI as secretary for few years but when Tony turns 24, He suggest his father to make her CEO and he will be working and providing for Techs and important business deals. And Howard knows his son very well and that doing office stuff ain't getting to Tony plus his IM activities. And Papper was already doing more than half of his paper and meeting work so he makes Papper CEO. And yep Papper and Tony did try relationship but it just didn't clicked so they are still friends and no awkward feelings.

From IM 2, he did get palladium poisoning but he hid it from his family and friends. He did parties and drinking (but without the armor ofcourse) and Rhodey got really angry at his behaviour and recklessness and told him that he will beat him up with his own armour. And then Nat and Fury came and all that injection stuff.. after that he told his father about it and they worked together and made the new element and saved him. After that he apologized to everyone and told the truth and even made Rhodey War Machine suit and Rhodey helped him with it at Expo. Race incident doesn't happen. But Vanko still tried to get revenge by helping Hammer. So Stark expo incident still happened with drones only, not the War Machine armour.

I'll say IM 3 doesn't happen cause we don't have that much time you know fitting all IM parts and then 2 avangers part just within 6 years is impossible 😅

So after that NY invasion happened and Avangers got formed. People didn't know who they atually were just their alter egos and that also not everyone. People were really shocked and afraid after the battle so the government decided to make shield publicly known. Not all the information but just lil bit parts here and there to ensure everyone that there were people and organisation who were ready for something big like this. But it was still not enough to make people safe.

So then Avengers decided that they'll reveal their identities so people will know that there is a group of people who are there and capable enough to save them from something like this and it worked. They did got positive response. But it was uproar it the world. And they had to deal with media and fans. When the world got to know about Tony Stark being Iron Man, SI's PR department was in chaos.

All Avengers are around 24 to 30 except for Wanda and Pietro. They are 21. But they got into team after Ultron and yep Pietro survived.

Events of Captain America and CA : Winter Soldier did happen except for Bucky killing Tony's perants part. And they are both 30. Clint doesn't have secret wife and children (sorry Laura and kids) cause he is 25. Nat is 24. Papper and Rhodes are 27. Thor looks like 28 but is 1500 as we all know. Loki looks like he is 26 and yepp he was mind controlled by Chitauri but he was at Asgard during Age Of Ultron. Sam is 23. Scott is 25 and he is divorced and has a daughter. He is in relationship. Hope is 24. Bruce is 29. (These are their ages at the starting of the 1st chapter, from when I'll actually start writing the story.)

In NY invasion only original 6 were included in Avengers Initiative and after that they lived together too, at the Stark tower which was turned into Avengers Tower. Later Shield recruited others and they trained and did mission together but didn't live with the original 6.

Then Age Of Ultron happened and Vision Wanda and Pietro also joined. At that time they decided to move to the compound Tony built for them in upstate so everyone can live there.

And time period between these all events is smaller than in movies cause you now 6 years time period ain't that long to fit 'em all.

No CW or IW or Endgame happened.

Mary & Richard unfortunately had to die in plane crash 😅 when Pete was 5 so his uncle and aunt looked after him from then.

When Peter was struggling to recover from his parents death, May got an idea to help him *tada* a youtube channel to distract him because she knew Pete liked to watch things on YT. Pete was a genius and he was great at art too and he is an obvious cinnamon roll so she knew it will be a success and Pete will be distracted too. But she didn't want her nephew's face all over the internet if he gets popular and then can't have normal life so she helped him make his videos with him wearing a mask. So here's where Pete's YouTube journey started 🤭

Peter being an adorable and telented and a genius he is, he got famous on YT over the years and got millions of subscribers and views. He even made accounts on other social medias like Insta and Twitter stuff releted to his YT when he was 12 and it was success too he posted his art and photography their. ( His art and videos do contain his fanboying stuff and crushing on Tony Stark🤭)

And yes Pete is Spider-Man. He became SM when he was 13. Same radioactive spider at oscorp stuff but without Ben dying.

Ben has his own business which is good enough to have stable and cozy life with his wife and nephew. May is house wife and she likes to do volenteer work oftenly. They have two story house with a garden and a backyard. Nither too big nor too small.

Ben has always taught Pete about responsibility and righteousness. (With great powers comes great responsibilities.) So when Peter got his powers he decided to help people by being Spider-Man and looking out for little guy. After sometime he told Ben and May about it and they were at first hesitant but then they got over it and were proud of him and supported him.

After a year, it was getting too much at the same time... being at school, managing social media and YT channel, being Spider-Man and all.

Ben and May wanted him to have normal life so even if he was a genius and could graduate early, they still wanted him to complete high school and make friends. But let's be genuine nothing in life is gonna be normal so he told them about his plan to graduate early from both school and college. And he loved his YT and social media cause it helped him so he didn't wanted to stop that and to stop being SM is out of the picture. Ben and May understood him so they allowed him.

He took this opportunity to tell his only 2 and closest friends Ned and MJ about him being SM. He trusts them alot and they didn't disappoint him and even helped him with keeping his secret identity.

So he graduated from high school early, got full scholarship to MIT.

He was fifteen when he saw Iron Man first. He and Ned became fans but Tony was still his idol and his crush. He also started making fanarts about Iron Man on his account. He liked Dr.Banner's work too. He was only 20 when he wrote his thesis about gamma radiation and his books are awesome and he has 7 PhDs by the age of 25.

Peter earned a good amount from his YT channel and he still had money his perants left so he made one of the vacant room in the house his lab after he became SM and he makes videos in his lab after that about his inventions and experiments but ofcourse nothing regarding SM. He and Ned even made a cool SM suit with AI which they named Karen. (The one from the Homecoming) He got his AI inspiration from his Idol's AI called JARVIS. (Tony made JARVIS when he was at MIT and then used him for the company and his lab and he gave an interview about it. That's how Pete knows about it. Tony used Friday for his suits and IM releted activities after he became IM but then after AOU he used Friday for everything.)

Pete's YouTube videos are about everything and anything he loves to do since he was young. When he was young it was about his lil childish science experiments with help of Ben (ofcourse till he could it on his own) or his art or baking and cooking stuff with May and all but they all always wore the different different matching masks while making videos. When he became friends with Ned and MJ, he asked them to be there too. As he got older he started showing his genius brain cells in his experiments and invention. Same goes for his art, it started getting more and more detailed and he also got interested in composing music and songs and he eurned more followers. He even made his accounts unhackable so no one try to find out who he is after he became SM. He had so many happy moments with his family and friends while making his videos, that is why he kept his YT and accounts.

Shield doesn't know who the Spider-Man is. Pete found out about them cause he sensed someone (agents) following him during one of his patrols when he was 14. So he and Ned looked into it and his mind was blown when he found the organisation and all government behind it.

He wanted to know why they were after him cause he only helped people. So they hacked into Shield. He found out that they wanted to recruit him for something called Avangers Initiative and there he saw some other people's and superheroes' information too. (He didn't look into it because he knew that if he didn't anyone want to know his identity, they must not too and he had no right. ) But he knew it was not a good idea to join it cause then he will have to work for them do their missions and he didn't wanted to do that. He wanted to look out for little guy and help whoever, he can wherever he can. Plus he would have to reveal his identity and when they'll know he is so young, they'll try to stop him from being SM plus people close to him will get in danger. And they might even want to experiment on him so it was a big fat NO.

After that he took every cautious step to protect his identity and his aunt, uncle and his friends. He made a security system for their house and made a smart bracelet to communicate or send signal to each other if they were in danger. They all had one including himself. It looked simple and no one could tell it was actually for that.

When Newyork invasion happened, he was not there. He was at MIT for his PhD. He was so damn worried about Ben, May, Ned and MJ. The moment he heard the news he left for NY but by the time he got there the fight had been finished. So he directly went to check on May and Ben. He found them safe and was revealed. Then he called Ned and MJ to check on them and their families and found everyone was ok. After that he told May and Ben that he will go out and help people from the aftermath of the battle.

He stayed in NY for 2 weeks. In which he found out about the Avengers. He and Ned were shocked at the name and that it was the same Avengers Initiative stuff they read when they hacked into the sheild and Peter felt a pinch of guilt but it disappeared when he learnt that Avengers revealed their identities. He was in no condition to reveal his identity.

He was shocked when he learnt Avengers' identities especially Iron Man. He was like "how could I not understand that it had to be Tony.. there were all those connection like SI and no one is such a genius to make that kind of Tech except for his idol. He fell in love with Tony even more but he just thought it was some kind of superhero worship and teenage crush.

After that Ned and him being the 'nerds' as MJ calls them they are, they become fanboys and started to find out more thing about Avengers. Pete started to post more fanarts of them and he even made the reaction video of how he feels about Tony Stark being Iron Man and Bruce Banner being Hulk. Both his favourite scientists. He even made a song for Avengers. Which was total hit so he made more songs in the future.

Pete graduated from MIT even earlier than his Idol Tony Stark at the age of 16. He got his PHD in Biochemical Engineering at 17 and he wanted to get more Phds in Robotics, Nenotech Engeneering study and Astrophysics. (Which he did within next 2 years.) (Pete was 16 when NY invasion happened and 19 when Ultron happened)

And then Ultron happened, it was all over the news and all but Avangers once again saved the world. Pete was happy and revealed that there were Avengers to save them from world ending dangers but there gotta be someone down on the street too. Someone to help people from criminal and other dangers which may seem little in their or government's eye like Rhino, Doc Oct, Green Goblin, lizard, electro and many more with whom he fought. And he felt that his decision to not join Avengers Initiative was right. Though Shield was still eager to find out who he is like he will let them.

And then Homecoming happened except the part with Tony. ( But Peter doesn't go to homecoming because he graduated from high school )

As for the Ferry incident he saved everyone. He held the both part of ferry with his web and his strength ( Pete is very very strong in this fic ) till his latest Nenotech bot he invented arrived and held the ferry together and mend it. (Like Iron Man did. Just that it were bots who fixed the last part too. Where Tony flys around it and mend it.)

Peter had figured out the arc reactor technology a year and half ago but he didn't wanted any one to know cause it will attract the attention of many people and he didn't wanted that. That is also the reason he doesn't use his Nenotech suit he made. ( IW one ) But now that he has used his nenobots and his tech which was even better and cheaper, he knew for sure that it's going to fireback but he thought he'll take care of it later when he is not busy trying to capture a curtain alian tech loaded weapon selling Vulture.

Next day he had asked Karen to keep and eye over everything and at night Karen informed him about some movements at some abandoned warehouse. Then the whole warehouse dropping and plane crashing thing happened. He saved the Mr.stark's tech and averages stuff and weapons.

But now he will even have more attention but he then ask Karen to clear CCTV footage around the beach so no one knows about him leaving from the scene. He can only hope now. He'll have to lay low for now and even more careful.

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Hope you guys will like it. I have thought so much for this fic. It's going to be exciting writing this.