#They should come with a trigger warning or something when they get together. BE AWARE

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Can't Have One Without the Other 5

Warnings: non/dubcon, marital troubles, body insecurity, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Bucky Barnes

Summary: your marriage is on the rocks.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

Bucky's gone when you wake up. Your heart sinks. Last night was better than the day. Still, you're not reassured. 

You shouldn't feel like this about your husband. You should be happy for him to come home. You should give him a kiss without thinking. He might have been gruff about it, but he was right. 

You drag yourself out of bed. On habit, you grab your phone. You have a message from Nat. 

'Missed you at girls' night. Coffee?' 

You leave her in read. You'll have one before you answer her. You go downstairs and put a mug in the tray. You slip a pod in and hit brew. 

The doorbell chirps, 'visitor at the door.' Great. You already know before you check the camera on the front display. 

You forget that you're in one of Bucky's shirts when you open the door. It's just Nat anyway. Yes, Nat with her svelte waist and perfect hips. 

"So, is that what you're wearing for our coffee date?" She taunts. 

"I just woke up." You turn and let her follow. She's great at inviting herself in. 

"Late night?" She purrs. 

"Got a couple hours," you mutter as you go back to a kitchen. 

"I know you're not drinking that horse piss," she says as she comes up across the arm of the counter. "I'm taking you out for a pistachio latte. Extra cream." 

"Black is fine with me," you take the mug only for it to shatter, the hot coffee splattering across Bucky's shirt. The knife lands at your feet. "Nat!" 

"It's butter knife. Relax." 

"And? You told me once you could kill a man sixteen different ways with one." 

"Oh, I can," she cackles. "Get some pants on. Let's go." 

"Ugh, Nat--" 

"Ugh, you," she hurls back. "He said you were in a mood." 

You flinch, "I am." 

"I always loved that you're a bitch," she snorts. "Get that bouncy booty moving." 

You tilt your head and give her a mean look, "look who the fuck talking, bitch." 

She laughs. You do too. She can be terrible but she's too cool for you.

"Yeah, give me a minute." 

You go to get yourself together. That coffee would have helped a whole lot. You'll manage. 

You get dressed and clean up. You come back down. The kitchen floor is clean, the broken cup cleared away. Bucky always said Nat was good at getting rid of messes. 

"Fine, let's go. I'm cutting back on the cream though." 

"Coulda fooled me," she scoffs. 

"Nat," you chide again. 

"What? I'm sure Bucky can't get enough... since you got more than plenty to give." 

"Shut up." 

"Well, if you wanna do something about it, you can always take up sparring again." 

"And get my ears boxed in by a trained assassin, fun." You roll your eyes and go out into the entrywau. 

"You get your back blown by one," she retorts over your shoulder. You shoot her the finger. Sometimes you forget that about Bucky. How dangerous he really can be. 

💍

You take Nat up on her invitation. Both of them. After the calorie-loaded latte, you let her take you to the compound for a workout. It’s been a while. Too long. 

Since the wedding, you just kind fell off everything. That was three years ago.  You just never got back on it. There was always something else. 

When you wanted to read, Bucky wanted to talk. When you wanted to try that new game you bought, he wanted to go out for dinner. Whenever you wanted anything, he had the perfect distraction. Just like last night. 

You should feel better. That’s what you keep arguing with yourself. You’re losing that battle along with the one with Nat. She knocks you off your feet and the air rushes out of you on impact. 

You never beat her. Never even came close. You’re not a mercenary, or a soldier, or an assassin. You’re not one of them. You’re just you and you’re starting to think that’s not enough. 

You stay on the mat. She steps over you and offers her wrapped hand. You take it and let her pull you to sitting. You wave her off as she sets her feet. 

“No more.” 

“You’re conditioning is shit,” she drops down across from you, draping her arms over her knees. “I thought he’d keep you in peak shape.” 

“Nat,” you shake your head. 

“Okay, I get it. Soft spot. What’s the matter? You and the doofus not fucking?” 

You sigh, “no, we did. Last night. It was...” You shrug. 

“Wow, sounds amazing,” she says dryly. 

“It could have been. He was away a whole month.” 

“I thought you’d be drooling,” she chuckles. “When you were dating, I remember him pinning you on this very mat.” 

“Yeah, well... he couldn’t even pick up the phone the whole time he was gone.” You stare down at your thighs. You lean back and feel your bloat. “Ugh, I’m not even mad about it. How can I blame him? Look at me.” 

“But last night?” She argues. 

“Yeah, last night, with the lights off, as I tried to pretend I was anyone else,” you exhale and look away. “Nat, I should be crying about this. I’m not. I can’t.” 

“Have you talked to him?” 

You give her a look. 

“Right. Talk to Bucky. Good luck.” 

You chew your lip and finally your heart decides to kick up. Your stomach churns. You look at her as a wrinkle lines your forehead. 

“What?” She urges. 

You scrunch up your lips. Just say it. Say it and it’ll sound so stupid you’ll know it’s wrong. 

“I think maybe... maybe it’s not going to work. Maybe...” you push your shoulders up. “Maybe I should look into lawyers.” 

“Divorce?” She gasps. 

You nod. It makes sense actually. You thought you’d take it back the minute it met the air. For once, you think you might be right. What did she always say? Trust your gut. 

[s0urw00lf]

18 with Klaus Mikealson!!!!!!!❤️❤️❤️

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝟏𝟖 “𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐦𝐞, 𝐈’𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐟 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨”

𝐀𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨�� 𝐦𝐲 𝟏𝐤 𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

𝐀𝐧: 𝐈’𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐊𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝟐 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐧𝐠𝐥.

You should’ve known better than to trust a witch wanting to help you and klaus. You and his family didn’t have the strongest relationship with the witches in the French quarter, they hated you both equally. But you were in search of a with to help you with channeling as a vampire, much like nik you were something else entirely before being turned and being a vampire hid dimmed that but you could still feel the magic in your veins even if it was the faintest pulse.

You were well aware of how against the law of supernatural it was but if klaus could be a werewolf vampire hybrid, you could be a witch, vampire hybrid. The thing most people did’t know about you is that you were an original vampire, no not turned with the mikaelsons, a witch in your coven had gotten wind of the ritual used on the mikaelson children and got power hungry himself, but instead of doing himself he tested it on you, and when it worked he was the first persons blood you drained. After that you were thrown from your coven, from your family and after a while met the mikaelson children.

They’d all tried their ways to kill you just to prove you weren’t like them, but you were in many ways. Klaus hated you at first, he hated an outsider being as powerful as him, but after many centuries hit hate dimmed and turned into something else entirely. He told you about the moonstone one night and about how he needed to complete the ritual to release his werewolf side and you, told him about the faint pulse of magic you still felt and that night he promised you, after he could release the spell holding him captive he’d do everything in his power to do the same for you and he did. Well, he tried.

”there you are love, I’ve been looking all over for you” his voice broke your stare on the lake. You turned to see him approaching with a look that made your eyebrows raise in wonder “what is that look for nik” your eyes squinted.

He shrugged mocking innocence “do you remember Two centuries ago i promised you something?” He asked, any and all color drained from your face “you promised that after your spell is broken” you paused “that you’d help me get my magic back.”

He smiled “indeed love, and now the time has come for me to fulfill that promise”

“How did you find her” you asked “she’s supposed to be dead” looking at the witch across the room. Mira, and old witch from your coven and daughter of the man who turned you. Mira who was supposed to be dead, still alive and just as youthful as the last day you saw her.

“It certainly wasn’t easy” Klaus answered as she walked back over to you carrying a tray with different herbs. “Now. All i need is a strip of your hair and drop of blood from the both of you.” She says casually.

You squinted your eyes at her “why would you need blood from the both of us” you asked. You hadn’t practiced magic in years but you weren’t stupid when it came to it, and this made no sense at all.

She sighed placing the tray on a table “because we need the blood of one hybrid to trigger yours.” She explained “That was the trick, there was never supposed to be a hybrid, but now he exists and it’ll work.”

You looked at Klaus then back to her “fine, but i should warn you if you try anything i will burn your coven to the ground while you watch and then ill rip your limbs from your body and throw you into the fire” you threatened. She scoffed “i see why you work so well together” gesturing between you and klaus. Klaus smiled “well then, let’s get started shall we?” He said and bit his arm, holding it over the bowl and let his blood drip into it only a few drops like she asked.

His arm healed quickly and you followed is suit doing exactly as he did. Mira let the faintest smile slither onto her lips, as she turned placing the other items into the brown with the mix of you a niks blood.

She began chanting an unfamiliar spell and immediately you felt the blood writhing your body began to burn, though nik fell to the ground yelling. You sped towards Mira grabbing her by her hair “what the hell are you doing” you hissed but she didn’t stop she kept chanting though harsh breaths, speeding up.

You waisted no time ripping her jugular from her neck before moving to nik who was no longer seizing but instead just twitching in pain letting out harsh breathes.

Your heart sank not understanding what she had done to make the original hybrid crumble like paper. “Nik, tell me what you feel” you say to him, maybe you could pinpoint what she had done and why it had affected him more than you.

he Groaned “feels like.. vervain in my blood” he seized in pain. What the hell. You looked around the dimly candle lit room, looking at the dead witch on the ground.

You still felt the burn under your skin but it was numbed by the sight of the man you loved crumpled up on the ground. “We have to go before more come. I won’t be able to win against a coven of witches” you say

He shook his head, sweat dripping down his face and neck, soaking into his already sweat soaked shirt. “I wont let anything happen to you, I’ll slaughter the whole coven if i have to” he promises, “i can feel it, the wolf gene it burning it out”

You looked back at him “okay what can I do to help? There must be something to speed the process, burn it out? Literally anything” you say. Nik shook his head “you’re not healing,” he pointed out, making you look down at your wrist, still bleeding causing concern to rise within you that you quickly shut down, “doesn’t matter, you’re in worse condition than me, I’ll carry you out if I have to we just need to go I doubt she let the knowledge of an original wounding spell die with her” you say

‘Literally anything’ your words repeated in his head like a prayer. He hesitated before speaking. “You don’t have to carry me out. You have to drink it out.” He said, going quiet awaiting your reaction. And your momentary silence made his pain numb tremendously.

You blinked trying to fully understand what he meant, “like your blood? I have to drink your blood?” You asked. He nodded, adjusting himself against the wall, face scrunching in pain. “Doesn’t have to be a lot, it will help speed the healing” he confirmed.

Blood sharing between vampires was a sacred thing, it creates a bond between the two vampires that gets stronger every time it happens. Not many people are aware of it but you and nik had been alive since the beginning and had your fair share of… trials. But you never thought of it with him.

“We haven’t-“ he cut you off with heavy pants “I know love but we’re running out of time and options.” He said, he looked at you blue eyes pleading for you to end his pain. “Okay” you say.

Klaus shakily holds up his wrist to you and you hesitantly sink your teeth into his flesh. It felt euphoric, the metallic taste flooded your tongue in thick coats dripping down the side of your mouth and down your neck. It felt like the first time you drank blood again.

Klaus watched you with intrigue and adoration, already feeling the burning sensation leaving with evey breath. You moaned at the taste before pulling away and looking at him worriedly “better?” You asked.

He let out a shaky breath, nodding his head “thank you, love”. You smiled relieved that you were able to numb his pain. He grabbed your wrist “you healed” he rubbed the bloodied wrist bringing his finger to his mouth.

You nodded, a silence overtaking the two of you as your eyes stayed locked on each others. “We should go” you say softly.

Klaus smiles “we definitely should.”

There was a conversation that needed to be had between the two of you. The strengthening you bonds and commitment to each other but it could wait until you weren’t in a witch trap.

[thevixensuniverse]

"THE BLEEDING NOIRE"

"CHAPTER 4- JUST THE BEGINNING"

"Destined soulmates/Royalty AU"

"YANDERE ROYALTY ATEEZ OT8 X WITCH/MEDIC READER"

Trigger warning:contains dark and non con elements/torture/death and several others

You are responsible for the content you consume.

General Warnings:Dark AU,slow burn,smut eventually,non con/dub con elements,magic,coercion,manipulation,possessiveness,obsessiveness,literally unhinged as it gets by,contains mature themes and dark contents,fighting scenes(not in this chapter) and if I forget anything..drop a message.

Chapter Warnings: contains non con elements,magic, General yandere shit and implied kidnapping.

Credits to the pic owner and do not copy my work.

Contains dark elements.

MDNI;DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS POST.

MASTERLIST

[A/N: the chapter 4 is here! Happy reading loves!]

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Hongjoong's POV

Silence..

It's been 4 hours since he encountered yeosang coming out of the garden with a satisfied glint in his eyes and a very bright and smug smile gracing his features.

It's been 4 hours since Yeonsag told him,He had found her.

4 hours of Hongjoong pacing in his royal office trying and failing to maintain his calm.

His mind is screaming and is trying to find new ways to create excuses to run away from his palace for a day to visit you in Lemyra Forest.

Atleast that's what Yeosang told him; that you are a witch and that you live in the Lemyra forest.

He knows about the Lemyra forest.

It's known for it's myths and strange creatures for centuries.

It's known for being inhabited by humans.

And yet, you live there.

Strangely,he finds a sense of solace in the fact that you live so far away from the normal civilians of the kingdom.

No one can touch you.

And, It'll be easier to just sweep you away from the forest,without anyone noticing.

But,the thing is,Hongjoong has never seen you.

But he knows...

He knows that the moment he lays his eyes on you, He'll never let go.

Hell can freeze before he will let you go willingly.

He knows it's wrong.

He knows he's behaving like a caveman.

He knows that a crown prince should prioritize his people over someone who he've never met.

But still,the heart wants what it wants.

By yeosangs words,

you look absolutely stunning.

A goddess in mortal form.

You have raven hair flowing in waves and a heart shaped face.

Your skin is sun-kissed and your features unique like that of a forest spirit.

You smell sweet with hints of citrus and musk.

You laugh freely and talk without fear or shame.

You're the storm and the calm after it.

He's losing his mind.

A rational part of him is ecstatic that he finally found the source of the strange feelings,bubbling inside him for weeks.

But the other part?.

The primal and dark part?

It whispers that,yeosang got to you first.

He spent the night with you;even though you two did nothing more than fall asleep together.

A surge of hot posessive fury spreads along his chest.

He knows that you're all their mate.

You belong to all 8 of them.

He has to share you with all 7 of his brothers ;even though most of them are not even aware of your existence.

But he knows,that it won't be long before they start questioning the strange feelings that bubbles in their chest for no seeming reason.

He knows,they'll come to him.

And he knows,that he can't hide the fact forever...

The fact that,he and yeosang are aware of the existence of their mate.

A missing piece they weren't even aware of.

Until a few days ago.

○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○

That's why he's doing it.

He tells himself.

That's why,hongjoong leaving Seonghwa in charge,went out to find you...alone,with a cryptic response to Seonghwa's question of where he's going, with,

"To find something precious".

Seonghwa didn't question.

He knew better to question Hongjoong when he's purposefully giving him a cryptic response.

He knows whatever it is,that Hongjoong is on the hunt for, inevitably he'll tell him before anyone else.

And so,he let's him go with a nod.

Hongjoong sets off in his horse.

The sun is casting golden hues over the horizon,beginning to set.

He reaches the middle of the forest and gets off his horse.

He looks around.

No pathways,no animal in sight;

Hell not even a single leaf is moving.

Something's wrong.

Somethings definitely wrong.

He unsheaths his sword,ready to face whatever is causing the eeire stillness.

The first myth of the Lemyra forest, is that it is protected by the forest spirit which created the forest, centuries ago.

It is said to confuse humans who trespass the forest.

The spirit is said to guard her forest with utmost precision and is even said to be cruel.

And then,

"What are you doing in my forest?"

A chilling voice speaks around him.

Hongjoong spins around,to find the source of the voice.But the voice sounds omnious.It resonates from every direction of the forest.

He grits his teeth,sword still clenched tightly in his grasp.

"My mate is here, in this forest.I mean no harm.I just want to see her."

He replies to the omnious voice.

"Oh~...Do you now?"

The voice says and he can sense the subtle mockery in the tone.

His jaw clenches and his eyes darken.

"Yes, I Want to see her. You must know her, given she's living in your forest".

A deep chuckle resounds and the branches of the trees sway lightly as a slight breeze passes by.

"Yes, I do know her. She's a part of me. She gifted me her precious flower,which gives me more strength to ward off humans like you"

Hongjoong's patience is slowly unraveling under the mocking undertones of the Spirit.

"Do you realize...I'm the crown prince of this land?...I'm about to undergo coronation in a month,which makes me your king"

Laughter.

Deep and unsettling laughter.

The breeze is gone and now the trees are Swaying violently as the forest spirit manifests into a visible form infront of him.

A figure of White,cloaked in branches and leaves and earth is now standing infront of him.

"Oh My,My......Crown Prince huh?...I do not care if you're the Crown prince or the Guardian of the kingdom.

This is my forest and the witch you're looking for?

She belongs to me.

She belongs to my forest.

I will never let you take her away from me.

Do you think I'll be fooled by your excuse of "just here to see her?"

The figure leans in closer looking into his eyes.

"I can see the swirls of obsession blooming in your eyes and you say you're here to just see her.

I know what love and obsession does to humans and you boy, are already obsessed.

I'm no fool.

I can clearly smell your intentions.

You're here to posess her.

You want to claim her.

I can see the darkness hidden deep in your orbs.

It's making me recoil.

I will never allow you near my witch.

You can go back the way you came from."

Everything is still for a moment.

And,laughter. Again.

But..

This time, it's erupting from Hongjoong.

He's laughing.

The spirit is unmoving and observes him in silence..

Before it freezes.

The trees still.

His eyes.

Hongjoong’s eyes have taken a black so dark,it resembles the devil's.

He stops laughing and looks straight at the spirit with a tilted head;his eyes terrifyingly dark, with specks of gold and red in his iris.

A slight shiver runs down the spirits spine at the realization.

The Velmorrins.

Standing infront of the spirit,is no ordinary human.

He's of the Velmorrin Lineage.

The only hybrid blood lineage of the Devil himself.

The spirit instinctively steps back at the sudden power pouring off Hongjoong in waves that makes even the spirit recoil in fear.

"Now..now...what were you saying?"

He says,his mouth pulled back in a snarl,his fingers twitching and his voice rough;like he's holding himself back from tearing the spirit apart just by his bare fingers.

The spirit recoils even more at the underlying threatening edge of his voice and does what it should to survive a Velmorrin.

It runs away.

It disappears.

It vanishes into thin air.

The forest comes alive again.

The forest seems to be moving with an occasional breeze passing through.

The trees don't look eternal and it doesn't feel like it's closing in on him anymore.

His eyes go back to his human form and he straightens himself.

"Where is she?"

He asks to no one particular;but the forest responds as a gentle breeze passes by him and blows to the west.

He pats his horse's neck.

A silent command for it to find its way back to the palace alone.

And the horse neighs in response and takes off in the direction it came from.

He starts walking with the Forest now guiding him.

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It's past sunset when he makes out a cottage in the distance,surrounded by a garden.

He walks with a new found fervor.

Found you.

Anticipation and excitement alike making his heart stutter in his chest.

He reaches the threshold of the cottage, climbs up the stairs and...

*KNOCK* *KNOCK*

He senses some kind of rustling from the other side before he hears soft footsteps padding towards the door.

He gulps,preparing himself for the moment he's gonna lay his eyes on you for the first time ever.

The door opens and his brain short circuits.

Nothing could have prepared him for the sight of you.

Standing with a confused expression on your face,looking at him with a tilted head,with your pink apron on,that says,

"Bitch? Haha,Witch♡"

"Uh..hi?...can I help you?"

You say cautious,but with a calm and kind smile on your face.

He snaps himself out of it and clears his throat,unable to find his voice.

"You must be Y/N"

He sees your eyes go wide at his recognition of you and you blink up at him.

"Yeah?...That's me..How can I help you?"

He smiles politely and bows before extending his hand out to you in greeting.

"Kim hongjoong,the Crown prince"

You're frozen in your spot as you look at his form before straightening your spine and bowing back.

"Your highness.."

Hongjoong bites his cheek internally at the use of your formal address towards him.

It sounds too distant.

Too unfamiliar.

Too cold.

Like you're keeping him at arms length.

He chuckles a bit,trying to disperse the tension in his jaws at your formal greeting as,

He takes your hands and plants a kiss on your knuckles; his lips lingering seconds too long before he stands straight,your hands still in his grasp;too casually,like it's always meant to be intertwined with his.

"Please, Hongjoong is sufficient."

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Y/N's POV

What the hell is happening?

It's just been...what? A few hours since you took off from the Sertyok palace.

And the crown prince is standing infront of you?

And your hands are still in his grasp.

He looks like he has no idea of letting them go.

And in all honesty, you're not sure if you want to let go either.

The same tingling feeling you felt the night before with Yeosang returns.

The place where that damned mark is in your body is tingling warmly.

The sensation oddly comforting.

That's when you realize.

Heavens.

Is he my soulmate too?!

Hongjoong sensing the realization dawning on your features,chuckles softly before pulling you into him.

Too natural.

Too much.

In Too little time.

He does it like he's always done this to you forever.

Like the way his arms are snaking around your waist and pulling you into him is something he's done a countless times before.

Like he's not meeting you for the first time.

Like he didn't show up in your cottage in the middle of the Lemyra forest at sunset.

You gulp.

One part of you is content,your mind practically going blank at the closeness.

The other part?..The one with rationality and logic is telling you this man met you ten minutes ago and he's practically cuddling you in your doorstep.

Hongjoong sensing your inner turmoil,tightens his hold, a soft smile on his face.

"I know...I know it's too much,too soon....But I can't help myself.

To think that you were in the palace grounds all night and I couldn't see you made something crack inside me.

I apologize,but I cannot hold myself back.

Please allow me to hold you a little longer,My queen."

He says without restraint and desperation bleeding into his tone,the endearment slipping out unconsciously but luckily for him,you don't seem to notice.

You nod hesitantly and that's all the permission he needs to bury his head into the crook of your neck,inhaling deeply and trying to memorise your scent.

You smell sweet with citrus and musk and something uniquely you,just like Yeosang said.

He continues holding you for another minute before reluctantly detaching himself from you.

You stand there awkwardly,biting your bottom lips unsure of what you should do now.

So like a normal civilian with manners,you do the seemingly appropriate thing.

"I'm cooking dinner. Wanna come in?"

He lets out a sound;something between a grunt of satisfaction and anticipation at your invitation; as he nods.

You push the door open wider and he strides in,looking around.

You guide him to your kitchen where you have an intricate dining table.

"Please sit. The food will be done cooking soon."

He sits down pulling the chair out and resting his head on his hands as he continues drinking in the sight of you moving about with your little apron on around the kitchen.

"I hope you don't mind tomato soup wirh garlic bread?"

You ask, stirring the pot of what he guesses is the tomato soup.

He'd eat anything you'll give him.

He nods.

"I don't mind, actually it smells very appetizing"

Your eyes light up at his subtle praise and you smile at him and continue stirring.

A minute or two later, you're turning off the stove ready to take the pot to the dining table,before he gently interjects and takes the pot from the stove,lifting it and takes it to the dining table himself.

You blink,before smiling to yourself.

What a gentleman.

You wash your hands and plate the already baked garlic bread and serve him a portion before taking your Seat.

All while hongjoong is entranced by the simple domesticity of this all.

He could get used to this.

You look at him expectantly,subtly looking forward to his reaction to your food.

He tears a piece of the bread,the scent of fresh parsley and garlic filling his nostrils as he dips it into his bowl of tomato soup and takes a bite.

Hongjoong nearly moans at the taste of it.

He's relishing the flavours with his eyes closed and as he opens them, he finds you looking at him with an expression which he could describe with only one word.

Adorable.

He couldn't control himself.

He extends him left hand towards your face and strokes your cheeks gently.

His actions giving away the utter adoration blooming in his chest at the sight of you, looking up at him expectantly.

You slightly lean into his touch and his heart stutters again.

"This is absolutely ravishing...my little witch. The best food that has graced my tongue in so long.

Your cooking is really amazing.This is Literally the best food I've ever tasted in a while"

Your cheeks warm and you bashedly turn your head away, strings of shy laughter escaping you.

"Come on..that's a bit dramatic..don't you think?"

Hongjoong's smile widens looking at your pink cheeks and chuckles under his breath.

Cute.

"No..it's really good,very delicious and well made.

I could get used to this...."

He whispers the last part to himself.

You don't seem to catch it,as you smile and silently eat after reveling in his praise.

Dinner goes by with soft conversations and giggles exchanged.

You and Hongjoong are plopped on your couch together with a steaming cup of honey tea in your hands.

A comfortable silence stretching between you.

He sighs and you look at him with a puzzled expression.

"I don't wanna go back"

Your expression softens as you extend your arms to him.

He takes it and interwines your fingers together and traces small patterns with his thumb.

"I don't want you to go too"

You blink.

You didn't mean to say it out loud.

But you did blurt it out,surprising even yourself.

That's it.

That's all what he wanted to hear.

That's what it takes for him to settle the cup in the nearby surface in a desperate fervor and cupping your cheeks and crashing your lips together,in a bruising kiss.

You freeze for a second.

And, you wrap your arms around his neck.

He lets outs a moan as you kiss him back with equal intensity.

You let out a soft gasp as he pulls you into him and effectively settling you in his lap.

He uses your surprise to his advantage and slips his tongue inside your mouth.

Tongues clash as he softly bites your bottom lip.

He's not kissing you.

He's devouring you.

○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○

Hongjoong feels like he's in fucking heaven.

You lips mould against his perfectly.

Like they were made for kissing him.

He swallows the small sounds that escape you.

He's kissing you like a man possessed.

You pull back slightly as you get out of breath,your eyes glossy and dazed.

He follows your lips and kisses you again and only stops when a whine escapes you.

He pulls back slightly,a trail of saliva still connecting you both,as he brushes you bottom lip with his thumb.

"You're fucking perfect,you know that?"

Your breath hitches,your noses still touching.

You snap out of your kiss daze and look up at him.

And your words die on your throat.

His eyes.

It's black.

Black like the eternal abyss.

With specks of gold and red.

Your breathing stops for a second.

You pull back completely, realization dawning on your features while he looks at you in confusion.

"You are a Velmorrin?"

You say with a calm that your heart is not in sync with by the way it's thundering in your chest.

Utter disbelief flashes across your face.

Your soulmate is a Velmorrin.

The lineage of Velmorrins..

The ones who caused the war that killed half of the population on earth.

The Great war of Talka.

The war which killed millions.

Soldiers,woman,children and even animals alike.

All while Velmorrins relished in the chaos they caused.

The war that killed half of your family.

You shakily stand up and step back from him.

The Velmorrins are known for their cruel ways and even crueler intents.

And you've witnessed it through your family.

Hongjoong's expression changes from confusion to something else.

Something unreadable.

He stands up and walks over to you and you instinctively step back.

You turn around and were about to sprint when he manifests out of thin air infront of you,making you crash face first into his chest.

Before you can step back,he wraps his arms around you.

"Shh...now..it's okay....You're okay...baby...let's not get scared now.."

"Please...let go..I-I think this is a mistake.I shouldn't have let you in, a stranger into my home."

His face loses all it's gentleness you witnessed just a while ago,as his expression hardens.

"A stranger?"

He laughs.

"Baby, you were with me all evening.

You cooked for me,you kissed me back like your life depended on it and now you're calling ME a stranger?.

You're calling your mate...a stranger?"

"It was before I knew you were a Velmorrin"

You say, your voice icy as you glare at him.

He doesn't seem detered by it.

He plants a kiss on your nose before you can even react and tugs your hair back,his grip not painful,but still assertive.

"You look sexy as fuck when you're glaring at me with those pretty eyes, darling"

He licks the skin from the base of your neck to your jawline,and he gently nips at your earlobes as you shudder.

He smirks.

"Let go"

You say trying to sound as unaffected as possible but it's futile as he continues leaving open mouthed kisses along your neck and sucks,leaving behind a trail of bruises blooming in your neck.

"Hongjoong,I'm serious let go before I do something I regret"

He all, but shivers as his name leaves your lips as he continues kissing and says in a muffled voice.

"Something you regret?...like what?

Curse me? Do a spell to kill me?....or....is it..something like...give in to me?"

You clench your jaws,your frustration mounting as you utter.

"I know soul bonds can be rejected. I'll reject you, if you don't let me go...right now"

He pauses.

And looks into your eyes,his darkened orbs sending a slight shiver down your spine.

The intensity making your legs slightly wobbly.

Partly out of fear and partly out of something you don't want to admit to yourself....

Not right now.

But your breath catches at the sinister smirk that makes its way onto his face.

Your breath catches out of something else this time.

Fear.

Because of fear.

Before you can react,the darkness of his eyes spread along his cheekbones and his canines protrude and sharpens..

And he's tugging your hair back again and biting down on the column of your throat.

A strange sensation spreads through your body.

Warm,tingly and dizzying.

Your mouth frozen in mid scream.

You're heart starts beating too loud that you can feel it thumping against your chest.

He pulls back,crimson coating his lips as he licks your blood clean off his lips.

Your body feels light as your vision starts going hazy.

You sway a little bit as you move forward and he catches you and brushes your hair out of your face.

His touch sends a wave of contentment throughout you, against your better judgement.

"W-what....did you do?"

You croak out weakly.

He continues brushing your hair away from your face as he says something that makes your hazy eyes grow wide with horror.

"I marked you.

You're now bound to me.

You can't resist me anymore,My little witch.

Your body will crave me from now on,even though you don't want it,even if you fight it.

But I know you want it.

You like me too.

It's just a matter of time before I break you, before you come to me willingly."

Tears well up in your eyes at the turn of events.

You were having a peaceful evening and he came in like a storm.

Turned your world upside down.

He continues holding you against him as your vision starts blurring and the last words you hear are,

"I won't make the same mistake yeosang did.

I'm not stupid or patient enough to let you go..

Sleep,little witch..

When you wake,I'll be there..

Your king,your soulmate will be there.

In my palace, in my room."

You should hate it.

But no, you don't.

Some sick part of you is content that he claimed you.

Some sick part of you is finding comfort within his arms that's holding you.

Some sick part of you is relieved that he didn't let you go.

Even though you fought him.

Even though you tried to run away.

You're already starting to go insane and..you know for a fact that..

This is just the beginning..

□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□

TAGLIST:

@fr34k4c1dr41n

@ninjakitty15

[thatfandomslut]

Green-Eyed Monster

Regina George x Reader

Word Count: 1.1k

Trigger Warnings: jealous Regina, friends who don't agree with reader relationship (we've all been there, right?)

Request:

can you regina and reader are dating but reader starts being friends with janis, cady, and damian and regina gets super jealous and it causes a fight with reader and then they make up and it's fluffy at the end

Mean Girls requests are open.

(Y/n) laughed loudly, quickly clasping a hand over her mouth as many people turned to look at her. Within those many was Regina George, her girlfriend. Though, no one knew that they were dating since Regina was still in the closet. The blonde quirked a brow from her section of the cafeteria as Janis placed a hand on (Y/n)'s shoulder to help shush her. This was an action that Regina did not appreciate as she narrowed her eyes over at the two. Neither noticed this action as (Y/n) only laughed harder, her forehead gently hitting the table as Janis patted her back, laughing, too.

"Why were you laughing so hard?" Regina asked, sitting across from (Y/n) in her room. She kept her eyes narrowed as she examined (Y/n), trying to figure out what was so funny that she didn't even respond to Regina's texts during lunch.

Regina was still learning how to be in a relationship, and she was far from perfect, but she was perfect at being jealous. Even though there was absolutely no need to be since nothing was going on between (Y/n) and Janis. However, Regina didn't know this. After all, Janis was conventionally pretty, and she came without the baggage of a hidden relationship since she was already out. There was a small possibility that the school's 'it' girl was insecure. Not that she would admit that in any way.

A small laugh escaped (Y/n) as she thought back to what made her laugh so hard. This caused Regina to cross her arms before standing up. "Well, we were talking about this painting from mine and Janis's art class. We had to do portraits, but there's this one guy who like sucks at painting. And, I am perfectly aware it's not nice to laugh, but his portrait of Ms. Klein was not it." (Y/n) couldn't help but feel more giggles bubble in her chest, though she was finally able to keep them at bay.

Regina must have not understood art humor, because this wasn't that funny to her. "Did you have to let Janis put her hand on you though?" She questioned, watching as (Y/n)'s brows knitted together in confusion over what the problem was. "People are going to think you two are dating or something? Do you realize how stupid that makes me look?" Regina looked angry, and (Y/n) was getting to the same point that she was.

Sitting up on her bed and closing her book, (Y/n) considered her words carefully. "Okay, look, I didn't mean to make you jealous, but Janis and I are just friends. I'm not sure what the difference is when you, Gretchen, Karen, and Cady are touching each other's faces to apply each other's makeup. Perhaps you can explain it to me?" (Y/n) tried to stay calm and centered. She knew how heated Regina could get. Still, she must've said something that worsened the situation as Regina's cheeks brightened in color.

"The difference is, Janis is out, and you are out," Regina stated, grabbing for her bag as she started for the door. (Y/n) quickly untangled herself from her blanket, grabbing Regina's hand to stop her. "Don't touch me. You should go hang out with your girlfriend, Janis. She was all over you at lunch, anyways."

(Y/n) let go of Regina, not wanting to anger her more as she sucked in a breath. "Come on, Regina, let's just talk. I don't want to argue over this. I will ask Janis to stop touching me if it will make you happy." (Y/n) offered, hoping to create some peace between her and Regina. She hated arguing with anyone, but she despised arguing with Regina. It was another level of fighting that she couldn't handle. It made her head spin.

Regina walked out of the room and started down the stairs with (Y/n) hot on her trail. "I don't want to talk. I want you to understand how stupid I feel when you just let Janis put her hands all over you." Regina said as she made her way to her Jeep. "Just leave me alone." (Y/n) sighed as Regina shut her Jeep door and ran her hands down her face. She knew to give Regina space, that chasing after her right now wouldn't do anything for either of them.

(Y/n) went back to her room, falling back onto her bed. She was in love with Regina, but the worst part of this being a secret is she couldn't go to her friends for comfort. Instead, she felt unintentionally isolated as Regina's perfume still lingered in the air unhelpfully. She realized that Regina's insecurity more had to do with the fact that she and Janis were both out, but Regina didn't even give her time to help her work through that with her. So, instead, she had to force herself to not call or text the girl.

The next day, around lunchtime, (Y/n) was still somber over the events from the previous night. She had texted Regina a sweet 'good morning' as always but received nothing back. That's why it surprised her when Regina approached her table. "(Y/n), I have a quick history question, can I speak to you in private?" Regina glanced over at Janis, who rolled her eyes at Regina. (Y/n) nudged the girl beside her to stop before following Regina out of the cafeteria. "I realized that I took my anger out at you. To be honest, I was a little scared you might find Janis to be a better girlfriend because she was out, and you didn't have to hide." Regina admitted, causing shock to spread along (Y/n)'s face.

She wasn't expecting Regina to be insecure over Janis. "I understand your fear, and I understand your insecurity. You should know though, I'm not into Janis. She, Cady, and Damian are my best friends. I love them, but it's very different to the way I love you." (Y/n) put her hands over Regina's before their fingers intertwined.

Regina tried to hide the grin growing on her face as she looked down. "You love me?" She asked, her voice filling with emotion, a shift from the apologetic tone she held just before.

(Y/n) laughed softly before kissing Regina softly. Regina kissed back, cupping her cheeks. "Yeah, I love you, Regina George." (Y/n) said softly, glad to see that they had made up and that they were both getting over their previous argument.

"I love you too, (Y/n)," Regina said softly before taking her hand and leading her out the door. "Come on, I'm ready to go out there. I don't care what people think anymore. All that matters to me is that you're by my side when I go out there."

[girlgenius1111]

you can face this

barça x reader

r struggles with an eating disorder. her teammates catch on.

this [obviously] contains descriptions of an eating disorder. do not read if this could be triggering to you. please, just don't.

-----

You hadn't really realized that it had gotten bad again. It was one of those things that crept on you, unconscious bad habits making a return until you had fully relapsed. It was 0-100, and it was even more complicated now that you played for Barça. Not just because of the overbearing teammates, but also because your fitness was strictly kept track of- you had to remain at a weight that wouldn't flag with the physios, or affect your strength too much. But another part of you still hated that number on the scale- it was a constant battle between those two parts of you. The rational side, trying to keep it together, and the not so rational side that didn't care what it destroyed on it's quest to be smaller.

You kept up a surprisingly strong façade. It was easier when the team wasn't traveling, and obviously more complicated when you were. You lived alone in Barcelona, in a perfect little apartment, rather close by to the homes of your teammates, namely Alexia. She liked the younger players to live nearby, so she could keep an eye on everyone, she said.

Your teammates could tell you were having a hard time; it was obvious by the way they worked harder to get a laugh out of you, how they'd show up to hangout of the blue, just because they were in the neighborhood. None of them had approached you about what was bothering you yet, and you assumed they didn't have any idea what was really going on. There were clues, though, ones you weren't aware of, that they were most certainly picking up on.

The first clues weren't much; the way you'd pick at your food whenever you ate with the team. For your part, you did well to hide the fact that every bite was painful to choke down. Still, there was just something slightly off.

It was the quieter members of the team that noticed other things, but they didn't bring them up to anyone else, not yet. Not when it was just you changing rather quickly in the locker room, or how you often showed up at team dinners claiming to have already eaten.

-----

The first person to really notice that something wasn't just a little off, that something was wrong, was Pina. The two of you had finally convinced Alexia to allow you to room together; previously, she'd said no, arguing that you two would inevitably get up to trouble left to your own devices. You'd worn Alexia out, though, and both you and Pina were practically giddy when she'd flashed you with a warning look and read off your names together.

You'd managed to put it out of your head, how much of a hard time you were having. Until dinner that night. It was a rough day, rougher than you were used to, and while you normally could pretend pretty well in front of the team, you didn't feel like that was possible this particular evening. You'd gone to dinner, eaten as much as you could bare, before you mumbled something to the table about having a headache, and slipping back off to your room.

You were overwhelmed, really, and feeling incredibly alone. Something deep inside of you ached, and you wanted it to stop, leave you alone, just for one night. You were so frustrated, and pathetically, so sad. You thought you would have more time before Pina came back to the room, so you gave yourself the grace to breakdown, just a little. You could shower, wash away all traces of the tears, and be back to normal by the time your roommate returned.

What you somehow forgot, however, was that Pina was, while silly and mischievous, also one of the kindest people you'd ever met. You should have known that she'd come check on you, but you were slightly preoccupied with trying to keep a handle on your breakdown.

You didn't hear the click of the key card just before the door opened, and you were caught completely off guard when Claudia stepped inside, her face scrunching with worry as she caught sight of you curled up in the cozy chair in the corner of the room, sobbing quietly into your hands.

"Amiga! What is it?" She asked, rushing over to you. "Is it your headache? Should I get a physio?"

"No, I'm fine, Pina," you replied, wiping furiously at the tears that were still insisting on spilling from your eyes.

"Why are you crying if you're fine?" Pina asked in a quieter voice, on of her hands coming to rest on your knee.

“Claudia, seriously, I’m fine.” You insisted. You looked at her, then, and you looked so devastated, Pina knew instantly that you were lying. She felt so out of her league, so unsure what to do.

“Stay here.” She said after a minute, practically sprinting out of the room.

You knew she’d come back with someone, whoever she could find to fix you. This was the a job for an older player, not her. She gave good hugs, and could always make you laugh, but you needed someone older, someone wiser.

You sighed, knowing there was nothing you could do to stop her. You could only wait, and try to calm down.

You'd stopped crying, you really had, by the time Pina returned with Mapi in tow. You were prepared to act as though your friend was being dramatic, and really, you were fine, but then Mapi walked in, looking like she'd run the whole way to your room to check on you. The serious look on her face was such a departure from how she normally acted, that you were rather thrown off. She caught sight of you sitting on the bed, your red face, the slight downturn of your lips. What really got you was the way she didn't even say anything; she simply walked closer and opened her arms.

You were moving before you could even think to remain where you were, falling easily into the older girl's arms. They wrapped tight around you, and you buried your face in her shoulder. Tears ran off your face, collecting on Mapi's sweatshirt, but she held tight to you, one arm around your back, another holding your head close against her.

"It's alright, chica, we've got you." She murmured. You allowed yourself to sink into the comfort. For a moment, pretending that you weren't keeping so much inside, hidden away from the people that cared about you. You pretended that Mapi knew what was going on, and she was holding tight to you as reassurance, an unspoken promise that you'd be alright.

She didn't know what was wrong, though, and you weren't sure you'd be alright, not really. The little bubble of comfort and safety was broken when the defender pulled back, hands on your shoulders as she looked searchingly at you.

"What happened?" She asked. Her grip on you was tight, and you knew she wouldn't let go until you answered her. Pina was visible, just over Mapi’s shoulder, fidgeting with her hands and looking on nervously. Your only possible course of action was to lie, and to lie well.

"I don't know, I think I'm about to get my period or something," you lied. "I was just kind of sad, but it's fine, I'm fine now."

Mapi didn't look convince, nor did Pina.

"Are you sure? If something is bothering me, you can tell me. Or I can get Alexia if you want," Mapi suggested, beginning to turn toward the door.

That, you absolutely could not let happen. Alexia would get the truth out of you in seconds, especially when you were already so upset.

"No, seriously Mapi, I'm fine. Don't bother Alexia." You insisted, catching her arm and spinning her back around.

She eyed you for a minute, completely straight faced, before holding out her pinky to you. "Promise you are okay?" She asked.

You rolled your eyes, but linked your pinky with hers. "I promise."

She seemed satisfied after that, and you felt guilty about lying. It was for the best, though. You didn't need to worry your teammates, not when you were fine. Not when you had everything under control. Obviously, your motivation to lie went much deeper than that; the fear that they'd make you stop was suffocating.

-----

You shouldn't have felt guilty for lying, because Mapi went right to Alexia anyway. The Catalan Captain miraculously had her own room, for the 4th trip that year, although no one felt brave enough to comment on it. She opened the door warily, thinking Mapi was knocking just to chat, which she got enough of during the daytime hours.

"María, I'm really tired," Alexia started, glancing longingly back at her bed, where a nighttime call with her girlfriend and a cozy blanket awaited her.

"It's about y/n. I think something's wrong."

As Mapi had predicted, she didn't need to say more before Alexia was, now wide awake, stepping to the side, motioning for the defender to walk in.

"What is it?" She demanded once the door was shut behind her.

"Pina came to get me, and she said y/n was really upset about something, but she was pretending she was fine. I went back to their room and she had stopped crying, but as soon as I gave her a hug, she started crying again. And then once she'd stopped crying, she tried to tell me she was fine, something about getting her period and being sad for no reason. She pinky promised, but she was lying, Ale, I could tell. She looked so upset, like she was barely holding it together." Mapi's worry was evident in her tone, and, like you, Alexia noted the seriousness that was present on her friend's face. It wasn't normal, and it meant that, likely, there really was something to be worried about.

"Do you have any idea what she could be upset about?"

"No, not really. She's been a little off, I guess, but I can't think of what could be wrong."

Alexia sighed, silently agreeing with Mapi that you had been acting weird, but also that she couldn't think of a reason for it.

"I'll keep an eye on her, and I'll tell a couple of the others to as well. If something else happens, we can talk to her again." Alexia decided, somewhat uneasily. She wanted to figure out what was wrong, and fix it now, but suffocating you while you were already upset probably wasn't the best idea.

-----

In hindsight, maybe Alexia should have done something sooner. Your behavior remained off, but nothing else occurred that would really raise any red flags. That was, until the team had a double training session, and everyone ate lunch together. You had noticed more eyes on you in the last week, and figured that Mapi had probably asked a few of the older girls to keep an eye on you.

In an effort to convince them you were fine, you forced yourself to eat a normal amount of food at lunch, more than the carefully calculated portion you were intending to consume. It was alright, at first. You were able to distract yourself, joking around with your teammates. When you glanced down at your plate, though, finding it empty, you felt a wave of horror wash over you. You had no choice, no other option. It was too much. You couldn't do this.

You slipped away from the table after a couple of minutes of trying to calm yourself down. It felt like everyone was looking at you, judging you. You made it to the bathroom and kneeled in front of the toilet.

In that moment, you hated yourself. For eating too much, for caring about eating too much. For doing this. Tears fell, unrelated to what you were forcing your body to do. You just wanted to be normal, to feel good. You wanted to look in the mirror, and not hate what you saw looking back at you. You wanted to see what everyone else apparently saw; a normal, average looking person. You hated this, hated what you were doing, but you couldn't stop. You wanted to, more than anything.

When the door creaked open, and you realized you hadn't locked the door behind you, you were caught in the worst position possible. You didn't need to look up, see the disgusted faces looking back at you, to know that you wouldn't be able to play this off. It was obvious that you weren't just ill. You were sick.

You didn't look up, couldn't look up, at whoever was at the door. You sat back against the wall, staring numbly at the floor.

"Go get Alexia. Discreetly." You heard Ingrid instruct, and you heard Aitana reply quietly before her footsteps echoed back down the hall.

The resounding emotion was shame; for being so weak, for being caught doing this. You felt so stupid. You were an athlete, you couldn't be behaving like this. At the same time, the need to lie, to not let them make you stop persisted. You were torn, completely at a loss for words. So, instead of saying something you couldn't think through all the way, you remained quiet.

------

Aitana ran like there was a fire to the cafeteria, only slowing to a walk when she neared the doors. Her heart ached for you, truly. You'd looked so destroyed, the hatred you held for yourself clear on your face. She sped walk to where Alexia was sitting, making eye contact as the blonde turned towards her on instinct, as if sensing that something wasn't right. Mapi was on her other side, and she'd known something was wrong the second she saw her girlfriend go after you, but she'd been deep in conversation with Irene, and she hadn't wanted to overreact.

Aitana leaned down, speaking quietly in Alexia's ear. "Come with me, it's y/n."

Alexia nodded once, her expression firm as she stood. As if they were 2 ducklings following their mother, Mapi and Irene rose too, following their captain and Aitana out into the hall. They stopped just outside the doors looking expectantly at the younger player.

Aitana worried her lip in between her teeth, looking intensely at Alexia. She didn't want to say what was going on, not in front of the other girls. Ingrid had told her to get Alexia, and to be discreet. You didn't need a crowd of people.

"What happened?" Alexia asked after a minute, her voice anxious.

"I... Ingrid told me to get you, and to be discreet." Aitana's gaze flickered to the other girls, and the blonde captain caught her meaning.

"Mapi, Irene, go back inside, I'll take care of it."

They both began to protest, but Alexia remained resolute, shaking her head at them. "No, Ingrid said just me. Whatever is going on we don't need to overwhelm her." The other girls turned, sighing dramatically, walking back into the cafeteria.

Alexia fixed her gaze back on Aitana, wordlessly asking for more information.

"Ingrid and I followed her to the bathroom, and we heard her getting sick. Ingrid opened the door, it wasn't locked, and she was... she was making herself..." Aitana trailed off uncomfortably.

The pieces started to fall together for Alexia, and she didn't need the younger woman to say anything else.

"Okay. Okay. Thank you, Tana. I'll make sure she's okay."

Aitana nodded nervously, watching after her captain as the blonde made her way down the hall and towards the bathroom that the brunette had indicated.

-----

To your surprise, Ingrid didn't try to make you talk. Her and Aitana had watched you leave the room, and worried that you were ill or something, with the look on your face. They'd followed you, hovering outside the bathroom door, before trying the handle. Ingrid hadn't expected what she found, and she wasn't exactly sure what to do. All she knew was that you needed help.

She shut the door behind her, locking it this time, before grabbing a paper towel. She got it wet with warm water, before carefully approaching you. Ingrid flushed the toilet, before lifting your chin to face her. You shut your eyes, unable to really look at her. You couldn't see how disgusted with you she was; that would be it. That would shatter you beyond repair.

Ingrid carefully wiped your mouth off, before taking your hand in hers, and wiping your fingers off too. The action made you inhale sharply. She knew, she'd seen. You knew she had, but the silent acknowledgement made you sick to your stomach all over again.

The Norwegian disposed of the paper towel, turning towards the door when a quiet knock sounded. You clenched your jaw, clenched your fists, dreading the conversation you knew your captain was about to force you to have.

You didn't want a lecture. You knew what you were doing wasn't okay, wasn't healthy. You knew, and you did it anyway. Because, despite what you told yourself, it wasn't about being healthy. It was about looking the way you thought you should.

Alexia entered, taking in Ingrid's troubled expression, before her eyes fell to you. You looked hopeless, completely embarrassed, and Alexia wanted to fix it. Make you understand that you didn't have to be embarrassed, not with her. She wanted to promise that everything would be okay, that she'd make sure that you were okay. She wanted you to let her in, finally, admit that you were hurting.

None of these things were conversations to be had in the bathroom, though. Alexia walked forward, holding out a hand down to you. Slowly, you raised your head to look at her. There wasn't any revulsion evident on her face, and even though you wanted to run, hide, pretend that this wasn't happening, you knew you couldn't do that.

You took Alexia's hand, allowing her to pull you to your feet. She was steady where you were shaky, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, and leading you out of the bathroom. She stopped briefly, looking down at you.

"Do you want Ingrid to come, or would you rather talk just the two of us?" She asked softly.

Your eyes flickered to Ingrid, not wanting to hurt her feelings when she'd been so kind, but also thinking that you couldn't handle talking to more than one person about what was going on. It was horribly overwhelming enough as it was.

Ingrid caught your hesitance, reaching out to squeeze your hand. "It's alright, elskling. You talk with Ale, okay? And maybe later you can come over and have a movie night with me and María?"

You half smiled at her, as it was all you could manage, a smile she returned, before she headed the opposite way down the hall.

Alexia tightened her grip around you, like she was a little afraid you were going to run. To be fair, you'd considered it, but the tight hold your captain had on you had shut that option down. She led you through the maze of hallways, eventually finding a room that seemed to meet her requirements. It was a little relaxation lounge, one no one ever used as it wasn't very big, and the team kind of stuck together.

Alexia sat down next to you on one of the sofa's, and you appreciated that she didn't sit in the chair across the room; that would have felt terrifying like a therapy session, and you definitely weren't there yet.

"How long has this been going on?" Alexia asked. Her question startled you, having been sure she was going to try to make you talk first. She liked to do that, feeling like important discussions with her teammates were more successful when they steered the conversation. However, Alexia knew you wouldn't steer it anywhere helpful.

"How long has what been going on?" You replied, instantly regretting the words. Why had you said that? Alexia was aware that you knew what she was asking about, and she wouldn't let you get away with playing dumb.

Shaking her head, she spoke firmly. "No, we are not going to do that. Aitana and Ingrid saw, pequeña. We have to talk about this."

"I don't want to." You murmured, resting your head in your hands. You didn't. You would have done practically anything to avoid it.

"I know." Alexia told you sympathetically, rubbing her hand up and down your back. "We have to, though. I care about you way too much to not do anything about this." Ale paused. "When did it start?"

"It was bad when I was younger, a teenager. And I went to therapy, and I was doing well for a while. I'm not really sure what happened, why it started again."

Alexia didn't miss that you didn't answer her question. "When did it start?" She asked again.

You sighed, head still hidden away in your hands. "A few weeks ago. It wasn't that bad at first, I didn't notice. And then it was, and it was too late, I couldn't fix it."

"Why?" Alexia asked next.

You shook your head, even as the words threatened to spill out; the words that harassed you, that tainted every meal.

"Come on, pequeña. I am not going to judge you, just tell me."

Often, Alexia was seen as this intimidating, hardcore player. She'd do anything for her teammates, though, and she was capable of extreme kindness. If you were lucky enough to know Ale, to really know her, you knew how good she was. Maybe it was this, one of the best people you knew begging you to talk to her, that made you relent.

"I... I hate the way that I look. I hate it." Your words were dripping with self loathing. Alexia understood the unspoken words; you hated yourself.

There were a lot of things Alexia wanted to tell you, but didn't, not yet. She'd need them in the future, when the urge returned, and you fought against it. She'd need the reminders then.

Instead, she coaxed your face away from your hands, looking intently at you as she spoke.

"You cannot keep doing this. You know that. As your captain, and as your friend, cariño, you need help. We need to get you help."

Your eyes began to well with tears. Alexia took a shaky breath.

"And I know you do not want it, but you deserve it. Can you let me get you help, pequeña? Please?"

You considered for a couple moments. "What if I can't get better? What if... what if I can't?"

Above all, that was your biggest fear. Not being strong enough to beat it. It was why you resisted help; you didn't want to let everyone down if you failed. You wanted to be strong enough, you just weren't convinced you were. You were weak enough to start this, to fall into the horrible loop, to begin with.

"You will, cariño. You know how I know?"

You looked at her, eyes wide and watery. "How?" Your voice cracked, and Alexia took one of your hands in hers.

"Because you do not give up. You are one of the strongest people I know." You looked doubtful, still. "And I don't give up. I will not give up on you. We will get you better, together. You will not have to do any of it alone."

"Do you promise?" You asked, a few tears sliding down your cheeks as you blinked at the blonde.

Alexia didn't say anything, she just held out her pinky towards you. You linked your pinkie with hers, and knew, somewhere deep within you, that this wasn't a promise she was going to break.

-----

Alexia did end up telling you all of the things she'd thought of, eventually. She wrote them down in a little note on her phone, not wanting to forget what to say, not when you needed her. Your teammates, the ones who knew, who you trusted enough to let know, used them too.

-----

That it didn't matter what you looked like, being so unkind to your body was never acceptable.

Alexia told you this one evening she spent at your house, after you'd had a long therapy session. You'd arrived home, dissolving into tears, and somehow, she had known you'd needed her.

She showed up on your doorstep like some kind of magical being that could sense when her friends were sad, letting you cry into her for at least an hour.

She'd whispered the words into your hair, when you asked her if she thought getting better was worth it, if it was so painful.

You believed her, that day. Just a little.

-----

She loved you, and there was nothing to be embarrassed about, or ashamed of.

She told you this a week later when you slipped up, and you'd called her from your bathroom floor, words unintelligible through your sobs. Alexia dropped everything to come over, and spent a while promising you that relapsing didn't make you a bad person. That you were doing your best, and that was all you could expect from yourself. That relapses were a part of recovering, as much as it sucked.

When she said the words, you believed her, a bit more this time. She'd been at your apartment before you could really even get any words out. She wouldn't have done that if she didn't care, if she was disgusted with you. If she didn't love you like she said she did.

-----

Being healthy, above all else, was what mattered, and what you'd been doing wasn't.

This was Ingrid and Mapi. You'd gone over to their house for dinner, which proved to be challenging. You confessed how guilty you felt for eating enough, and how guilty you felt for not eating enough. It was hard to figure out what the right thing was, when everything felt like the wrong decision.

Mapi spoke these words to you, sounding wiser and more sure than you'd ever heard her. You trusted Mapi, you trusted Ingrid. If they said that what you were doing wasn't healthy, they weren't lying. Another piece of you got better that day, even as it was one of the hardest you faced.

-----

You were beautiful, and strong, and your body allowed you to play the sport you loved.

You lost count of who told you this one. Irene, Lucy, Alexia, Ingrid, Mapi, Pina. It became something of a mantra, something they'd make you repeat when they saw you having a bad day.

Because, above all, you loved football.

You learned to love your body for allowing you to play football.

You learned to love your body just for being itself, regardless of what it looked like.

You learned to love yourself, to not put so much pressure on everything you did.

You healed, slowly. You knew, without a doubt, that you couldn't have done it without the team. You didn't want to conceive of a world where you would have to struggle alone, because you weren't. As long as they were around, you never would be.

-----

it's a good thing i have therapy tomorrow!

i joke, although i do have therapy tomorrow.

getting better is so worth it. i promise.

[impish-baby]

Hey, could I have more HIWTHI content please? Possibly with them finding out reader would write in their journal a lot, possibly hinting towards reader having large amounts of self worth issues, and instead of them leaving because no one notices them, reader left because they feel like a burden?

I’m particularly interested in Marcus and the twins reacting.

Also, please make sure to take care of yourself. I love all of your writing, but no one will ever blame you for taking a break. Also, please stay hydrated.

-🌙

👀 close to something that would happen canonically actually!!

HIWTHI cast's reaction to reader's journal

(Trigger warnings: reader's struggles with self worth, mentioned/referenced suicide)

Marcus feels like a complete and utter failure as a father. No matter how cold or stern he is with his children, he does love all of them with everything in him. So the fact that you feel like a burden? That you felt like a waste of space in your own home? He hangs his head in shame.

Doesn't even bother with asking why you didn't speak up, he's well aware that this is his own shortcoming. It's his fault, that's the simple truth of the matter.

Once you are back home, you're required to start therapy. He'll even let you do in person instead of online if you promise to actually give it a shot, Marcus legitimately wants (needs) you to get better. He has no delusions of their being an overnight change, and so he tries to go at your pace.

There's lots of long conversations, firm reminders that you are loved and of value no matter what. Especially at night, he'll sit at the end of your bed and tell you how much you mean to him. He'd go on until he's blue in the face if that's what it takes for you to believe his words.

Clara refuses to believe what she's read for a long while. She knows it's real, she has the proof held in her hands. Just... her child, her baby, was struggling with almost the same thing she was. And she didn't know. She didn't know and now they're gone.

If she wasn't worried about reader before, she's actually terrified now. The worst outcome is going through her mind, because really, what was stopping you from doing something dangerous? Clara is constantly eyeing the news, fear eating her alive.

The next time she sees you, you're getting the tightest hug. The woman sobbing into your shoulder, thanking whatever higher being that her baby is safe.

You aren't allowed to have sharp objects, unportioned medication, or anything that could be used to harm one's self anymore. Clara doesn't care, she's not leaving a chance. She knows what it's like being in that state of mind. She'll be dammed if she doesn't start acting like a mother should and protecting her child.

Jack is bawling his eyes out right away. The pen ink in your diary smudging as his tears hit the paper. You...oh god..

He feels like the shitiest person on earth, he doesn't deserve to call himself an older brother. He knew Jaiden had his struggles, and now this..

He pockets the journal. Jack reads it as some form of punishment. You suffered with this, he'll suffer with it too. When you're back home, he's trying his best to include you in everything.

Movie nights, board games, he comes up with anything and everything so you can spend time together. See? He has fun with you, he likes hanging out with you, you aren't a burden..

Theo feels bitter, resentful. At your parents, at themselves, at the fact that you felt that way. His resolve to find you becomes ten times stronger, there isn't a single doubt in their mind that you need to come home.

Much like Marcus, they'll affirm how much you're loved and wanted any chance they get. Theo cages you in their arms and mumbles praises for what feels like forever. They'll even go into morbid detail about how everyone fell apart while you were gone just to prove how needed you are.

Jaiden is tempted to rip the pages out. He goes through a rollercoaster of emotions.

At first, he's pissed. That you didn't say anything, that you didn't do anything to get help, that you just sat there and felt fucking miserable for years-

He's ashamed. Deeply, deeply ashamed.

It feels.. awkward between you. Jaiden stares constantly, like he's never seen you before. When he finally breaks down sobbing, he's willing to beg at your feet if you'd forgive him for being such a horrible big brother

[ggirlthatgotaway]

Purple Necklaces (Death Kink, Fontaines DC)

summary: if there’s a perfect word that can describe what you feel towards Aemond Targaryen, that is ‘hate’, and you are perfectly aware that he feels the same. Still, it was 1971 when The Persuaders published ‘Thin Line Between Love and Hate’

trigger warning: hate, violence, explicit and sexual language, degrading terms, hate again, choking, slapping, bruises, deep throating, use of a belt, etc…

word count: 3.5k

supposed reading time: 15 minutes

note: short story no glory. BEEN TOO LONG I KNOW! unfortunately for you, i have an obsessive behaviour towards men, and this WHOLE MONTH has been dedicated to Grian Chatten, whose spit i want in my mouth <3. but Aemond’s always in my thoughts, so here’s something for ya. also, i feel like this should have more trigger warnings, but i don’t know what to put.

-💎

‘i’m there in five’

That’s what you texted Aemond Targaryen. He usually wouldn’t have received anything: you would have just showed up at his house with a grimace that reflected his own, and he would have made you come into his flat, pretending reluctance, before grabbing your hair into his fist and crushing your lips together with a hatred you had rarely ever felt.

That word was the preferred one to sum up your relationship: hatred.

You were completely fine with it, to be honest, and he seemed to feel the same. Three months ago it happened for the first time, him taking you. You recalled the batting rain outside the sweaty London pub, the too many drinks, and the usual way he looked at you- through furrowed brows, his mouth threatening to curve into a grimace in front of everyone. Of course, your friends knew about the strong feeling you felt towards one another, reason why, when that night you both disappeared into the crumpled bathroom for ten minutes, they didn’t really notice.

Would have you, in their position? Would have Aemond? You didn’t think so.

That night, which was majorly deleted by the countless drinks consumed- it had been Aemond’s birthday, and he had said that he would have payed for everything; you simply could not lose the opportunity to get plastered with the money of someone who never even offered a cigarette- hadn’t even touched the memory of the way he had taken you: fast, hard, with a fist curled around your hair and the other hand printing his fingertips into the flesh of your thigh.

It had been silent, with your forehead on the mirror in front of you, and your mouth opened in a pain and a pleasure you had had no clue your mind would have played over and over again. It had been the complete opposite of all your other encounters, which filled his almost empty bedroom of your cries, muffled by his hand, and the scarily strong words he directed towards you.

Today, you had texted him for the mere fact that you knew it would have made him angry. Exactly like you had expected, when he opened the door with a grimace, his first words were: “What the fuck do I care what time you arrive?” he said, then tutted and let you come in, “Move.”

You rolled your eyes and walked past him, leaving your bag and coat on the nearest chair, “Was just tryna be nice.”

“Talk properly,” he hissed, slapping your ass so hard you gasped and covered the hit spot with your own hand. You didn’t even have time to say something among the lines of: I talk however the fuck I want, that his hand moved to grip your face, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of your cheeks. “Why do you insist on coming back if I hurt you this much?” he whispered, his breath hitting your lips.

You didn’t have an answer for that. The only reason your mind could master up was that your bodies were made for each other. That there was this invisible pull you felt towards him you just could not ignore, a pull you believed he also felt.

After all, you and Aemond were complete opposites: he was methodical, meticulous and sharp-edged where you were disorganised, disoriented and soft, with sensitive skin that always carried the signs of his touch, days after you had been together.

Certainly, though, you were not going to tell him that you believed you two to be tied spiritually- he would have spat in your face even harder than he usually did. So, you looked him in the eye, trying not to take your gaze away, trying not to show how much of an effect he had on you, although he already knew.

He tutted and moved his hand to your neck with a momentary gentleness you knew would disappear in the nearest future. His thumb grazed your pulse point, his eyes following the movement, “You saw your mother last week?”

You nodded, the movement meccanic and nervous, but your eyes didn’t leave his. “She’s alright.”

“Hmm…” he murmured, his grip already tightening, “Did she see your neck? Or did you cover it up?”

You knew he was referring to the marks he always left around your throat, that amethyst necklace you saw each time you looked in the mirror. “I covered it up.” you answered, your tone low for the shame he provoked- unfortunately, it all made you even wetter.

He scoffed out a laugh, his lips curving into a cruel smirk, “Good girl…” His grip on your neck tightened further, his thumb pressing onto your pulse point more forcefully before releasing it. He took a step back, his hands finding the button of his jeans. “Knees,” he ordered, his eyes on his movements, “I’m tired of hearing your voice.”

You looked at him as he lowered his trousers to his knees, and complied as quick as you could when his eyes found you again. Hands joined behind your back, as he liked it the most, you prepared yourself at what was to come.

Aemond let out a breath, his cock now free of his boxers. Taking a step closer to you, he massaged it slowly, as if he wanted to show you he wasn’t craving you, he could wait as long as he pleased, but the rugged breath he let out said otherwise.

He brought his tip to your lips, traced them, and nudged them, silently ordering you to open your mouth. When you obeyed, he let you close your lips around him, taste his precome, without pushing his cock deep inside right away.

But when your eyes met his, he was quick to ball his fist into your hair and pull you so close your hand went to his thigh for balance. “Hands behind your back.” he grunted out, starting to pound his hips into your mouth.

Only when you obeyed he pulled away enough to let you breathe, but his harsh movements still had you choke around his cock, salivating like a dog in the deepest summer.

“Fucking slut,” he hissed, voice venomous as he thrust his hips forcefully, “Take it all.” He fixed his grip on your hair, pulling it tighter and away from your face, so he was sure to see your eyes as he made you do what he wanted to. His free hand went to your throat, massaging its length as he pounded, feeling his cock stretch it out under his palm and groaning at the touch.

He loved seeing you choke, the sight of tears filling your eyes could get him over the brink in a heartbeat, but he always held back, always grounded himself by remembering how much your only presence frustrated him on a daily basis.

He loved seeing you struggle, it fed his sadistic nature in a way nothing else did, and it made him think that keeping you around was worth it, after all. “You like that.” Aemond stated, “Like being my little plaything… Knowing that you’re here only because I love taking it out on you.” he snarled, his hand on your throat moving away momentarily to slap your cheek, before taking his firm hold on you once again.

Still, it wasn’t enough. It had been too long since he had you in this situation, with the whole thing you had to go at your mother’s, and the fire inside of him wasn’t quelling as much as he wanted to. With a groan, he bent to pull his jeans up, the hand on your hair still firm, not letting you take a breath. He slid his belt out of the loops and fastened it around your neck, using it to dictate the pace of you sucking on his cock, pulling you close to meet his every thrust.

Surprised by his actions, your hands gripped the belt, one going over his. “I said hands behind your back, princess.” he grunted out, slapping you across the cheek with his free hand, harder than before. “Don’t make me say that again.”

The desire you got of apologising to him was only refrained by the fact you could not speak, because the sensation wasn’t new, despite the way you were treated by him. But the whine you let out around him made him understand what you meant- despite the hatred, he had learned to read your body language quite well.

He let out a small, cruelly mocking laugh at your sound, which made you remember the first time you had apologised to him while you fucked: it was your second time, the one after the bar. It had been the dead of night, his fingers had been inside your mouth as he slammed into you- an attempt to keep you silent. But after a particularly violent thrust, you had bitten his fingers so hard he had grunted, his movements had stopped, his hand retracting after forcing your mouth open again. “You filthy…” he had trailed off, eyes wide. It was then you had apologised, voice shaking and faint, and his mouth had curved into the only real grin you had ever seen on his face.

But this time, there was no grin at your apology. He took the belt off your neck, and with feral eyes brought it down onto your back. It wasn’t extremely hard, nor painful, but it was enough for his cock to slip out of your mouth, your forehead resting against his hip. You didn’t like it, didn’t like it at all how it left you breathless and wide eyed.

Aemond, however, either did not care or did not notice, because his belt found your back once again, faster, more sharply. You fell on the floor, “Stop! Stop it!” you hissed, your back arching as if he were about to hit you again.

Instead, there was a beat of silence, before the sound of the metal on the belt rang against the tiled floor. He fell on his knees beside you, his arms wrapping around you as he held you tight and pressed his cold hand on the red he’d just left on your back, under your shirt. “Shh…” he whispered into your ear, and, only for a second, you thought he was about to apologise, that your roles would have switched for a mere second.

He didn’t. “Let’s go to bed, mh?” his tone was still cold into your ear, and maybe it was his warm breath, skimming against your neck that made you nod and, with the help of his arms, get up and walk to his room.

You hated his room as much as you hated him. You looked around, mouth agape, as he undid the zipper of your jeans and slid the material down your thighs, quieter than usual. You wondered if you had scared him that much when you screamed, but your thoughts were interrupted when his hand collided with your ass, making you gasp.

“You’re so… Pliable, you still have my fingertips on you from last week.” his voice, velvety and quiet, a stark contrast with his cold and sharp hits, said against your ear as you stepped out of your jeans, his hands continuing to squeeze your sides.

���You like it.”

He did, you realised when he did not say anything back. “Never as much as you bent over.” he said, nudging you towards his perfectly made bed. You did, kicking your jeans blindly, knowing the simple act would have infuriated him.

Sitting on the bed, your hands on either side of you and your legs crossed, you looked up at him defiantly. “What if I don’t want to bend over?”

“I will bend you over.” he said simply, taking a small step forward.

“You so desperately want to see what you did on my back?” you asked, taking off your shirt and throwing it carelessly somewhere on the floor.

His fists clenched and unclenched at his side, his eyes narrowing as he looked down at you. Letting out a soft sigh, he approached, gripping your hips and turning you on your side. You felt the bed sink under his weight as he settled down beside you, his fingers trailing down your back, on the print the belt had left.

“Do you want me to apologise for that?”

“No.” you told him, shaking his hand off of you and moving to stand on your knees on the bed, looking down at him. He was so handsome you did want to turn around, so you did not have to look at him. With a sigh, you reached over sliding his shirt off of him and throwing it next to where yours had fallen.

“Don’t treat my clothes the way you do yours.” he sneered, getting up to take off his boxers and freeing his cock once again. He did not turn you on your back as he had previously stated, but his eyes remained on your knickers, the sides of which he traced with his thumbs.

“You’re better off without.”

“Mh…” Aemond muttered, suppressing a grin at the words that left your mouth. His thumbs hooked the sides of the only piece of thin, wet fabric that was left between you and slid them off, squeezing in his hand, which he fisted beside your head.

With his free hand, he guided his cock to your cunt, brushing the tip against your dripping folds before thrusting inside you in one motion, a grunt coming out of his mouth while yours opened in silent pleasure mixed with pain. His hand gripped your thigh violently, his grip so strong he could stop a hemorrhage with it.

Still buried to the hilt, his lips pressed into a tight line, he said, voice cold and strained, "See how easily you give yourself to me? You're nothing but a whore who needs to be fucked hard."

The whine you let out made him pull out almost completely before slamming into you deep inside again, because your mind had started to crave his words as much as your body had always craved his and his touch. You never had words to speak when he was inside of you, you felt as dumb and as speechless as he made you out to be.

He threw your knickers away, his hand now free to wrap around your throat as his hips started to move into you faster and faster. “Do you like it? Knowing that this is where you belong, under me, taking every single inch of my cock.”

His words made you unable to think of anything, to feel anything, not even the sheets under you, but his hand on your flesh, his cock deep inside your throbbing cunt. “Aemond, please…” were the only words that you were able to get past your lips.

“Fuck…” he breathed out, leaning over you and biting your soft cheek. “Say it again.” he taunted, before straightening up once more and leaving your neck, grabbing and marking both of your thighs with his fingerprints, slamming into your pussy even harder than before. “Say, ‘please, Aemond’.”

You whined, your body jolting forward with each thrust, and back again because of his hold. “Please, Aemond…” you cried, your walls beginning to tighten around him.

“Christ, you’re going to make me cum like that.” Aemond hissed, rotating your leg so he pounded against your arse. He used one hand to steady himself, the other to grip your face, that already fell limply, to angle it towards him. “You want to cum, princess, don’t you?” he sneered, “Do it. I want you to fucking writhe around my cock.”

You cried, the sound muffled by the grip on your face. The new angle, which bent your spine, pushed his cock even deeper inside you, making your body tremble frenetically, and his words, spat into your ear, made you do just that. “That’s it, you fucking whore…” Aemond said as you convulsed around him, which pleased him in ways you could not even begin to imagine.

Once he had carried you through your climax, he pushed you onto your back, taking a step away and staring at you with ragged breaths. Your juices coated his cock, and he wrapped his hand around it, stroking it slowly before he approached again. “…I’m going to fuck you again.” he stated, spreading you and entering you roughly, his hands falling on either side of your head as he leaned in and sunk his teeth into your shoulder, relishing in the gasp you let out.

Your cunt was still throbbing around him, sore, even if he was not moving, and his warm mouth, on you, his lips brushing against your skin as he retracted, made your eyes roll back into your head. “And you’ll cum again… You’ll cum again as I tell you how much I fucking hate you.”

You hated how you nodded fervently, your lips sinking into your lower lip to recreate, however pathetically, the way he had just bit you. Aemond started to pound inside of you once again, a moan escaping his lips as he threw his head back. He pulled your hips up, so you were forced to sink your head onto the mattress. “Aren’t you ashamed? Being so fucking easy…” he said, his breathing accelerating as his hips slammed against your ass.

“You’re so- fuck!” Aemond breathed out, his thrusts becoming erratic. When he felt as if he could not hold it in any longer, he pulled out of you, his chest heaving and his eyes closed. You fell onto your back, your arms draped over you as you stared up at the white ceiling of Aemond’s bedroom.

“You’re the worst. I fucking hate you.” you told him.

“Says the whore who just came on my cock…” Aemond said, spreading your legs and positioning himself between them. His hand found your cunt, and he didn’t hesitate to plunge his fingers inside of you, moving them deep and slowly. “Fucked by someone who despises you… Fucked by someone you despise… Very smart.”

“Shut up.” you whined, your hands wrapping around his arm, too weakly to stop his movements. He grinned, pulling his fingers out of you and giving you a slight slap against your pussy, before positioning his cock back at your entrance and slamming back inside.

“How fucking dare you? Telling me to shut up?” he said, taking both your wrists into his hand and pinning them above your head, his fingers intertwined with yours, squeezing them. He couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped your lips as he pounded into you, and he leaned in, his breath against your lips. “Who does this beautiful cunt belong to, huh?”

“To you.” you breathed out, your eyes fluttering shut. You didn’t fight it anymore, you fucking couldn’t, and it only worsened when he let out a small laugh, and his other hand went to your breast, caressing its underside with his thumb, making your skin tingle.

“Mh… It does.” he murmured, his face hiding in the crook of your neck. He often got like this when he was about to cum, especially when he wasn’t fucking you from behind. “You look yoo beautiful like this.” he grunted, leaving a hit kiss on your neck before pulling away and turning you on all fours. “Like this…” he breathed out, “Like this you’re gonna take my cum.”

With that, he slammed inside of you again, his strides purposeful and his fingers digging into the skin of your hips. He loved the sight if you like this, as you stretched yourself out like a cat, your sweet pussy tightening around him. “You’re mine.” he groaned, his hands holding you tight against him, “I love… You’ll always be mine.”

He let out a groan, his thrusts becoming erratic once again. But this time, he didn’t stop, continuing to pound inside of you until he emptied himself completely, a cry exiting his lips.

Aemond fell onto the bed beside you, his hand resting beside your hip. Looking down, he let his fingers graze your soft skin while he regained his breath. When you let out a laugh, short, breathless, your mind still enveloped in the haze of all that had just happened, his jaw tightened.

He got up, grabbing his boxers from where they lay on the floor and sliding them on, “Get dressed and leave.” he spat, not trusting himself to look at you. He had to bite the inside of his cheek again when another laugh left your body. He loathed you even more when you were like this- you seemed fucking drunk.

“I love you, too, Aemond.” your sweet voice reached his ears, making him stop dead in his tracks. When you laughed for the fucking third time, he tutted and shook his head.

“Move that arse of yours, and leave my fucking house, Princess.”

[cosmickid-inmotion]

Leather and Lace and Pride AU

Santiago Garcia x Francisco Morales Lacina Dumas (OC) x Jana Fernandez (OC)

Characters from Leather and Lace and Take Your Time (And the other series in the LaL universe but these are the main couples)

Summary: A casual night together leads the two couples to experiment

Writen for the @the-oscar-isaac-collective 's pride event theres still time to do prompts! i have 2 more coming! I chose the prompt first queer experience.

Warnings and notes: W/W and M/M. Swinging. Something like this should have very clear consent and I tried to write some of it out. Don't take your advice from fiction, I wouldn't advise fucking your best friends, but you do you. THIS NOOOT A PART OF THE CANON!!! I don't think of Laci Frankie and Santi as Bi, this is an au for pride. Jana is canon bi though. I like to think Jana Frankie and Ben did have a threesome though so do with that what you will. Everyone here had known each other for 5 years now MIN some 15-40 years, Laci the shortest amount of time but everyone is v aware with her. Operate based on everyone understanding each others comfort cues. IDK why im over explaining this its just for fun lol

Dividers by @aquazero

It was nice just to be the four of them.

Santi loved all his friends; he loved his friends' partners too. Lorelei and Cameron felt like part of the family. But the relationships between the four of them ran deep.

Frankie and Santi were childhood friends, bonded through abandoned parents, loss, poverty, and found family. They were brothers, as close as you could get without blood.

Laci was his wife, and Jana was Frankie’s. Everyone was so deeply in love.

Laci and Jana were close friends, the first female friendship Laci had since coming back to the US, and they cared so much for each other. 

Jana and Santi had, in fact, gone on a date and even kissed before she met Frankie. Both knew pretty quickly it would not work even as a friends with benefits situation, but they did remain friends. That was almost 20 years ago now.

Laci and Frankie shared an understanding. Both were rovered addicts, yes, but so was Jana. Laci and Frankie shared a temperament. Both quieter, both sensitive although Frankie didn’t admit it as easily as Lace did.

Yeah, between the four of them, they were close. 

It was about to get closer.

“You ever kissed a girl?”

Jana’s voice brought Santi back. Sex, relationships, even kissing were a very sensitive topic for Laci, something they generally didn’t go into due to her trauma. Even Santi didn’t know all about her past relationships, although he suspected that had something to do with the fact he’d murdered one of her ex boyfriends for harming her. He had it coming.

However, it’d been years. Now they had a preschooler sleeping upstairs with his cousins, and Laci handled herself in emergencies with so much strength sometimes he didn’t recognize her from the girl he saw in that basement.

 Jana, as everyone knew, was bisexual. He’d known that about her back when they were just 20 year olds in the army. She refused to feel shame, even before don’t ask, don't tell had been repealed. She had been told repeatedly to stop talking about it. Once, a commanding officer had told her she had to stop “telling” or she’d be formally reprimanded. Jana informed them that if the men could graphically brag about all the things they’d done to women, she could too. 

Still, Santi kept a close eye on Laci. He could read her micro expressions and tell if she was getting uncomfortable or triggered. He felt protective as always, but he also trusted Jana not to push it.

“Well, I have. Not under good circumstances.” Jana didn’t have to ask what she meant. Santi placed a hand on Laci’s thigh to let her know he was there. 

Jana nodded. “So, you’ve never really tried it, not just… to see?”

Laci laughed. “What’s there to see! I’m straight. Always have been!”

“Always have been…” Jana looked like she was thinking. She hopped off Frank’s lap and sat down on the floor in front of Lace. “Lace, I’m gonna ask you the same thing I asked Frankie. Have you ever thought about it?”

Santi’s eye shot wide open as he looked at Frankie. “Are you gay?”

His friend sputtered for a second. “I- well, no, not really?”

“Not really? C’mon man, be honest. You know I don’t care.”

Frankie took off his hat to run his fingers through his curls. “Well, I’m not up late thinking about kissing men or anything… but me Jana and Ben might’ve… experimented.”

Laci gasped and giggled, getting on the floor with Jana. “You had sex with Benny!!!”

“I didn’t have sex with him!” Jana laughed. “Listen, he said we could tell you, we just… didn’t really have much chance and it’s a bit awkward to bring up but-” She nodded to her husband. “It’s all you, cielo. Whatever you want.”

Despite the blush, Santi knew the signs if he was truly uncomfortable. This was not it. “We experimented a bit, that’s all. He’s a handsome guy and knows what he's doing. I don’t feel like gay is the right term but… I mean, it was hot.”

Santi had never once guessed Frankie was queer in all the years he knew him, but that’s on him for assuming.

“I thought about it.” All eyes turned to Laci sitting on the floor. “I mean… that’s normal, right?”

Jana answered. “Is it normal to think about kissing girls? Yeah, it is, whether or not you’re queer. It’s normal to have curiosity… Do you feel curious?”

The energy in the room shifted. Frankie took a deep breath, and Laci shifted. Her voice was quiet. “A little.”

Once again, Santi was no stranger to queerness, and yet he never considered it with Laci either. There was a vibe, something palpable here… he wasn’t sure if what he was picking up is what Jana was trying to put down… but if they’d experimented with Ben… was Jana wanting to have sex with Laci? He wasn’t sure how he felt about that, but it wasn’t discomfort. If Jana and Frankie were attracted to Laci, he certainly understood why, and both of them had his complete trust. He’d woken up in the morning to find Frankie and Laci asleep on the couch together several times the summer Frankie stayed with them, never bothered him. 

Did Laci want Jana? The first day they’d met, Laci went on and on about how beautiful she thought Jana was. Laci had been robbed of so much in her life, if she wanted to explore this side of herself, well, he could never deny her anything. Jana was one of the most compassionate and loving people he knew. She would be the one to explore with.

“You. If you want to.” Now Santi found himself the center of attention. “And, if Jana wants to and Frank is okay with it. I’m okay with it.”

Laci looked up at him. “Wait, really? We never… Santi I’m happy with you, I am, I’m so happy-”

“I know, baby. That’s why I trust you. If this is important to you it’s important to me.”

Her look of trepidation melts into a soft smile. “I just… wanna know how it feels when… When I want to. When I’m safe.”

Frank spoke to her now. “You’re safe here, manita. Safe with us.”

The girls looked at each other, both sitting on the carpet. Jana leaned in close. “Do you want to kiss me, Laci?”

*

Laci often found herself staring at Jana and Lorelei over the years. She thought it was just because she happened to have two friends that were incredibly gorgeous. Ben then, Frankie, Ben, Cam, and Will were all objectively attractive, but she didn’t stare at them? She wanted to know how it felt, and who better was Jana?

Her answer was sure and steady. “Yes”

Jana leaned in, slowly closing the gap, giving time for her to change her mind but also to soak it all in. Jana’s hair was natural, big curls framing her face like a halo. Her eyes, wide and far-set were also mesmerizing to look into, no less now. When her lips kissed her, Laci felt a bit of electricity, but also at ease. It felt nice. She felt nice. The kiss deepened, both women wrapping arms around each other, drawing one another into the closeness. She smelled really good, that was her random thought.

 Laci felt braver, the hand on the small of her back lowering… slow and careful. Jana’s mouth opened to her, signalling yes, keep going… Laci had never felt a womans body so closely, the curves, the softness. Jana was statuesque, a work of art and oh my god her ass felt amazing. 

Leaning back, Laci felt Jana moan against her mouth. “Can I touch you?” She asked, and Laci looked at Santi. He looked in aw, no discomfort. The idea Frankie was watching them was a little odd to her as she considered him a brother, but not uncomfortable. Santi gave a nod.

“Yes, you can touch me.”

Even with permission, Jana worked slow and gentle. When she felt her breast, it was with careful reverence, not lust. Well, certainly there was lust, but it didn’t feel like Laci’s body was being used for Jana’s pleasure, but rather Jana wanted them to feel good together.

And then she stopped. 

*

Frankie watched the girls making out, trying so hard to tamper down his erection. He shouldn’t get hard this easily, he isn’t the kind of guy to sexualize lesbians, he never asked Jana to perform with another girl for him… but something about watching the two of them together. He cared so deeply for both women, he liked seeing Laci reclaim her sexuality after all she’d been through, and he knew how much Jana loved women. And yeah, he’d be lying if it didn’t turn him on because it was hot. It was. 

And by the bulge in his pants, Santi thought so too. Frankie took his chance. He was a little clunky, he didn’t have the grace that Jana moved with when he scooched closer to Santi. It’s been a while since he was the one doing the seducing; to a stranger anyway. He put the moves on Jana plenty, because she deserved to be romanced every day of her life. He’d never be able to make up for those years lost, but he was going to try.

“They are beautiful, aren’t they.” Frankie’s face was close to Santi’s cheek, but his friend didn’t move away.

Santi’s breath was stuttered watching them. She was the pretties girl he’d ever known in his life, and somehow watching someone else touch her didn’t make him jealous. He knew where her heart belonged. Watching someone else make her smile and moan and shutter from the view of her whole body, however… She was ethereal.

Barely a whisper of a touch, Franciso’s lips graze over the stubble of Santi’s face. Sharp jaw, harsh features, but still softened with age. Fatherhood suited him. A gentle kiss to his neck, and Santi’s cock twitched in his pants. Frankie took this as cue he couch touch his friend's chest through the thick sweater. Not salacious, giving plenty of space to say stop, to say no…

“Francisco…” Santi moaned out the name, and Frankie froze.

“Do you want me to stop?” And he would. Any of them would, at any time, they all knew, but to Frankie’s surprise, Santi shook his head. He turned and kissed Frankie on the lips.

*

Jana took Laci’s chin carefully in her hands, guiding her to watch their men kiss. The two of them weren’t as sure, weren’t as practiced. Jana was confident enough to properly lead, but Frankie was new to this. The dynamic was different with these two as well, 40 years of friendship. She watched his body language. Frankie was usually the dominant one in their activities, but that didn’t mean Jana cared any less about his consent. His safety was important to her too.

“How many years do you think this was building up?” Jana whispered in the younger woman's ear. “How many cold nights do you think they huddled together in tents, wishing they could feel each other like this…”

Laci whimpered at the thought, so turned on by her kiss and the scene before her. The sound alerted Santi, his eyes flying open to check on his girl. He realized no, he hadn’t actually asked her or Jana if it was okay, and opened his mouth to apologize.

Jana got to it first. “Shall we continue this?”

*

It was made extremely clear. While Frankie went to check on the kids, all of whom were fast asleep, Jana talked to the other couple on that California king bed.

“I’ll be honest guys, we might have talked about this before. This wasn’t the plan for the night, we didn’t bring you here to seduce you, just that we talked about being open to it months ago.” 

Frankie entered the room, informed everyone their kids were sleeping soundly, all safe. Santi saw a version of Frank in this moment that he only ever saw in the seat of a helicopter. Calm. Collected. In charge. He knew Frank dominated Jana in bed, and he knew the sex was good, it was just sort of hard to picture. Jana wasn’t the submissive type outside of the bedroom, and Frankie… well, he wasn’t exactly usually calling the shots. From the pilot's seat, however, Frankie was the man in charge. That’s the Frankie Santi saw now, and suddenly he got it.

“No one has to do anything they don’t want to, or watch their partner do. Santi, you don’t gotta kiss me. Lace, if you don’t want us to kiss, we won’t”

“I do!” She blurted out, then gasped and covered her mouth. Jana chuckled, and Santi went to kiss her, whispering ‘it’s okay munequita’ in her ear.

 Frankie just smiled softly. “Good girl, Lace, telling me what you want. I want you to keep doing that, okay?” Smiling wasn’t usually about of him dom persona, but Frankie knew what Laci needed to feel comfortable, and a good dom provided that.

*

Laci was burning up. Never in a million years did she think she’d be looking at Santi’s best friend as he called her a good girl while Santi kissed her neck. Never did she think Frankie talking to her in this tone of voice would turn her on. 

Through Frankie, they went through the no’s, the things they did not want. It was agreed they’d only go as far as any one person wanted to. One person tapped out, anyone decided they were done, it was all done.

Full intercourse did not happen. Laci wasn’t comfortable with anyone but Santi inside her, fingers or cock. Jana ate her out, but did so in an angle and position where Frankie didn’t see too much of her. She didn’t think she could handle him seeing her totally legs spread. Frankie checked in that she was actually okay with him watching, Laci said yes, she liked the idea, just not full frontal.

Santi didn’t feel ready to give or receive oral. He felt it was very intimate, and Jana agreed she’d prefer to be the only one who touched Frankie like that. In the end, Santi stroked Frankie’s bare cock until he came, but Frankie worked over Santi’s jeans. Santi didn’t feel comfortable undressing.

Finally, Laci tasted Jana. She was hesitant at first, but Jana guided her how she liked it, and Laci found herself surprisingly eager; she was downright giddy when she made Jana cum with her mouth and fingers.

The four of them fell asleep that night on the bed, tangled up together happily until morning.

thanks for reading my silly little thing!!!! I really should get out No Surrender for pride, thats the plan. Right now, im doing a re-write of take your time. I'm adding in frankie goes to rehab, and that way i can 1. normalize rehab 2. give jana more chance to be devloped. Check out the masterlist if you wanna see what im adding, next chapter is the new addition but i also did some edits on the others.

comment if you'd like to be tagged in my two other fics for oscar isaac pride, marc x matt murdock, and marc x eddie brock

tagging my usual LAL peeps @miraclesabound @ivystoryreader @ageappropriatefanperson @poeedameronn @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @missdictatorme @quiet-night-sky-writers-blog

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Taking Root 1

Warnings: non/dubcon, stalking, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Bucky Barnes

This AU is called Watcher Anonymous and will include different series for different characters. This is our introduction to Bucky and Leaf.

Summary: a neighbourly connection might be more than chance.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

Bucky cracks his neck as he approaches the large windows. He rubs his eyes as he snarls at the sunlight peering back at him. Steve always leaves the curtains open. Always gone before Bucky drags himself out of bed.

He tugs them shut but stays close. It's not noon yet. She'll be out shortly.

He's not much for television. He tried a few TV series, some movies recommended on that chat, but he just can't keep his mind from running. It's why he wakes up late. Most nights, he doesn't even sleep. This is what keeps him enthralled. There's not much plot, but the main character is fascinating.

He swigs from his mug as the city street chugs from down the alleyway between their apartments. Her balcony is slightly lower. The perfect vantage.

Pathetic. That's what he'd call himself if he wasn't him. All those guys on that discord Steve found are that very flavour. But he's not them. They're all weirdo virgins. He's had plenty of women. More than enough. She's just different. Like him.

As if beckoned by his awakening, she appears. Her railing is curtained with ivy, enough that she doesn't think of modesty. He doesn't mind. She comes out wearing a loose sweater that reads SWEET in large caps and a pair of her frilly panties. He likes those ones, they ride up when she bends over to pick up the watering can.

She goes about her usual routine. She checks the leaves, waters the soil, untangles the overgrown stems, and treats the plants with rot or infestations. The cluster of plants takes up most of the space. She's like a little chipmunk among them.

She finishes and takes the can inside. The sliding door gives a generous view of her place. Inside, she lingers at the window ledge and checks the row of cactuses. He admires her devotion to those plants. She'll haven't the big square planters soon. A few of the tomatoes growing up the posts look close to ripe.

He rubs the cleft of his chin and his stubble makes a bristly noise. He backs away at the unnerving idea. It's too much. Too soon.

Fuck that. He's not that weirdo Jensen. He's been tailing his married boss for three years. Now that's fucking desperate. Besides, they all made a pact, as lame as it was. They're going to make their moves. Either do something or get over it.

Right. Finish the coffee and get your ass together, Barnes. He rinses the mug then goes to make himself human again. Show, brush the teeth, untangle your hair, tie it back, no one will know the different, clothes. Alright. It won't be so bad to get out and it'll get Steve off his back about Vitamin D. Funny, the sunlight only makes him feel worse.

He heads off with a cap pulled down low and his hands in his pockets. There's a shop down the way, they have tables outside full of seeds and little pots. And a coffee shop right next door. He could use a second cup. Maybe a third.

He stops by the display of plants on the corner. There's a big red sign marked 'End of Season Clearance.' Better late than never.

The old woman who runs the shop offers him a shallow box to put his purchases in. Some pansies and violets. He doesn't know. The colours are nice, he guesses. She tells him to get a nice long bed for them and he should be able to have a nice bunch before the frost.

He gets his coffee, agitated as he balances his starters in one arm, then heads home. He gets back to the apartment and leaves the box on the table. He doesn't touch them as he paces around. He goes to the window. She reading in her chair, reclined, one leg bent, sweater rumpling to expose a bit of tummy. He narrows his eyes. He reaches for the binoculars nearby. Oh yeah. He shouldn't be so into it but he can see a little bit of hair sticking out the edge of her panties. It makes him chafe in his jeans.

He backs up as his stomach growls. Fine. He eats grilled cheese and canned tomato soup. He's still groggy. He goes to the window again. He stays there until she's gone. The censor will let him know if she comes back out.

Steve gets home. He's in a rush. His bag clatters off the bench as soon as he lets go of it. He huffs and picks it up, scurrying around. Bucky doesn't ask. He's on his way to that volunteer gig. They both know why he's in such a hurry.

"Have fun," Bucky calls out from the sofa.

"Oh, flowers?" Steve pauses as his soles scuff.

"What's it to ya, punk?"

"Nothing. You know I got allergies, right?" He sneezes as if to make the point.

"Sure I do. They're going on the balcony... tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Steve asks. "Why not-- achooo!"

"Cool off," Bucky warns. "I'll cover them up."

"Ugh, I don't got time," Steve mutters. "See ya. Oh, and you probably don't want the cat chewing on those n-n-neith-- achoo!"

"She's off terrorising the mice," Bucky snorts. "Get out of here, Rogers."

The night rolls by slowly. Hours spent with his eyes open. On the couch until his roommate gets back. Then his bed. Back to the living room. Steve gets up to get ready for work at the museum. Bucky puts Alpine on his chest and scratches her chin. Her box needs changing.

The sunlight softens between the curtains as he's left alone. He lets the cat out with him as he angles the box of flowers through the door. He got the big trays too and soil. He'll replant it like she did hers. Or try to. Steve keeps saying the place needs a bit of home to it. Goddamn it, Steve, shut up.

He puts the flowers on the iron table and sighs. He doesn't know where to start. The squeak of a hinge makes him tense. It's hers. He knows it without looking. She yawns and he trembles, fighting not to look down at her. He can hear her sipping from her porcelain mug. Is it the one with the lillies or the roses?

"Are those Blueberry Swirl Pansies? Those are so pretty."

He doesn't move at first. She's talking to him. He knows it. His chest feels like it's full. He pushes away from the rail and checks the little tag then faces her. He gives a small wave.

"That's what it says, yeah."

He leans against the railing and looks up at him, "I love flowers, if you can't tell." She giggles and it's music in his ears. The kind that sticks in his brain and he'll keep hearing over and over.

"No, I can't," he chuckles. "Wouldn't mind a few pointers. Kinda new at this."

"Well, I'd start by keeping the cat out of them," she points and he turns to find Alpine digging in a pot.

"Right," he mutters. "Thanks."

[winns-stuff]

LO RANT:

TRIGGER WARNING: SA

Okay I’m back again and it’s only to say this.. The comments on the new fastpass are genuinely disgusting. I don’t care how you put it or feel about both characters it’s absolutely deranged to ship or want a redemption arc for a rapist, maybe I’m being too harsh but I can’t find soft words to use for this. The fact that there’s so many people girlbossing this entire situation as a “I got the entire lineage on my shoulders!!! I slept with the brothers and the father!!!!” thing is weird to me because these fans are all missing the point of Hera’s entire story and it makes no sense that as I’m ALWAYS saying these fans are quite literally shipping rapists with their victims when the entire point of Lore Olympus was to shed light and bring awareness to Sexual Assault that is not violent or gruesome in physical action.

And we all know why this is happening, Rachel doesn’t know how to properly handle this situation and it’s clear that that’s how this is coming across to her fans. They don’t see this as a rape survivor story they see this as another dark romance since she doesn’t bother on actually addressing the assault in a respectful and dignified way, every single time she adds another sexual assault in her story she’s always glamorizing it or diminishing it whenever she gets tired of writing about it and it’s infuriating. Your fans should know better than to ship victims with their abusers and you wanna know why? Because you pride your comic on healthy relationships and mental health talks, you use the sexual assault as some kind of badge to show everyone that you know what you’re talking about when it’s clear that you will abandon all real representation of a situation that affects millions of people around the world just for crappy fan service.

Lore Olympus fans are groomed to dismiss these arcs since they’re not even treated like they’re serious and it doesn’t seem like Rachel takes it serious as well, she’s never taken any advice from survivors who aren’t pleased with how she portrays SA and she completely ignores the feelings of those truly affected by the traumatic events that she shoves into her webcomic just so it’ll stay “interesting”. I’m tired of Rachel getting away with drawing absolute trauma porn and I’m sick of her sexualizing every single woman we come across, how many times do we have to continue this long and excruciating pattern of giving the women of your comic terrible consequences and make them suffer just for drama and nothing else. How many other situations are you willing to completely spit on just to look self aware?

This is honestly the last straw because there’s been so many people genuinely shipping Hera and Kronos and also saying borderline disgusting things just to defend stuff like that. Rachel needs to say something, you cannot just sit back and be quiet while your fans openly admit to wanting to see a rapist and his victim together for the sake of your own comic and “beloved” main character hell even for a lot of your fans you need to speak up about this and address it letting a mindset like that fester in a fandom probably filled with survivors of assault is a disservice to them and it’s a slap in the face to the comfort that your webtoon gave them.

[cakeawake]

Veins of Twlight

⚠️Disclaimer⚠️

This story contains explicit content, including smut and yandere behavior. Please remember that this is a work of fiction, and I do not condone any of these actions in real life. If you or someone you know is in a similar situation, please seek help immediately. If these themes make you uncomfortable, I advise against reading further. With that said, enjoy the story!!

⚠️Disclaimer⚠️

Trigger warnings for this chapter: Non consensual watching, male masturbation, non consensual touching (let me know if I missed any or need to anything to this list)

Chapter Three:

You take a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves, but something about the air feels heavier now, like the weight of the town itself is pressing down on you. When you look up, you realize with a start that the sun is setting, casting long, stretching shadows across the pavement. A thick fog has begun to roll in, swirling at your feet, and with it comes a biting chill that seeps into your bones. You shiver, wrapping your arms around yourself as you take a hesitant step forward. 

You need to get back. 

Turning in what you think is the direction you came from, you start walking, your pace brisk but uncertain. The fog thickens, clinging to the air like something alive, and with each step, the town around you grows darker. Buildings blur together, their edges softened by the mist, and the further you go, the less familiar anything looks. 

Your frown deepens. 

This town isn't that big. You'd driven through it the night before—it took maybe ten minutes, at most. There's no way you should be this turned around. No way you should feel lost.

Yet the library is nowhere in sight. Neither is the inn. 

The streets stretch on, endless and unfamiliar, as if the town itself is shifting around you, rearranging itself in ways that don't make sense. The air feels heavier with each passing second, thick with dampness and something unseen that prickles at the edges of your awareness. 

Then—you see them. 

Two figures in the distance, shrouded in shadow, standing eerily still at the edge of the woods. They linger at the mouth of a dirt driveway that snakes up a hill, disappearing into darkness. Their presence is unsettling, yet you can't look away. 

The more you stare, the stranger they seem. They don't move, don't shift—don't even seem to breathe. And yet, there's something wrong. The shapes of their bodies, the way they stand—it's too identical. The same height, the same posture, the same eerie stillness. It's like looking at a mirrored image, a duplication of a person where there shouldn't be one. 

Your pulse quickens as you squint, trying to see their faces, to make out what they are— 

But before you can, the fog surges forward, thick and suffocating, swallowing them whole. 

The world around you blurs, your vision clouded by the dense mist, and for a moment, there is nothing. No figures, no trees, no street beneath your feet—just a vast, disorienting emptiness. 

Then— 

The fog thins. 

And the woods are gone. 

Blinking rapidly, you whirl around, your heart pounding. The dirt driveway, the looming trees, the shadowed figures—none of it is there. Instead, you're standing directly in front of the inn. 

The warm glow of the front windows spills onto the porch, familiar and welcoming, yet your skin is crawling. You don't remember walking here. You don't remember turning in this direction. 

One moment, you were lost. 

The next, the town had decided to put you exactly where it wanted you to be. 

You stand there, disoriented and confused, your breath coming in uneven puffs of cold air. The quiet hum of the town feels different now, charged with something unseen, something watching. You don't know how you got here, but the eerie sensation of being placed rather than having arrived lingers deep in your chest. 

Then, without warning, the door to the inn slams open. 

You jolt, your wide eyes snapping toward the entrance as a figure steps into the doorway. The dim glow from inside spills over him, casting long shadows on the porch. It takes you a second to process who you're looking at—Zayan, the inn's landlord. 

His ever-present grin stretches across his face, unfazed by the cold or the oddity of you standing frozen in place outside. "What are you doing standing out here in the cold?" he exclaims, his voice warm but edged with something unreadable. "Come inside, come inside!" 

He waves you in, stepping aside, but there's something about the way he's looking at you—like he expected you to be here. Like he knew exactly where you'd end up. 

You slowly walk toward the inn, each step feeling heavier than the last. The warmth spilling from inside is inviting, but the weight of what just happened clings to you, refusing to be shaken off. As you cross the threshold, you can't help but glance back—once, twice—peering into the darkness, half-expecting to see something lurking just beyond the glow of the inn's lights. A shadow, a figure, those eerie glowing eyes from before. 

But there's nothing. 

Just the empty street, swallowed by fog and night. 

With a quiet click, the door swings shut behind you, sealing out the cold. You flinch slightly at the sound, your nerves still frayed, but when you turn, Zayan is there, smiling. 

That same wide, unwavering smile. 

"Much better," he says, rubbing his hands together as if he's the one shaking off the chill. "No need to linger out there in the dark. This town has a way of... pulling people in if they're not careful." 

His eyes gleam with something you can't quite place, and for a moment, you're not sure if he means that as a warning or a simple observation.

Zayan doesn't move right away. He just lingers, watching you with that same unwavering grin, his sharp teeth almost too white in the dim inn lighting. His eyes glint with something unreadable, and the longer he stares, the more unsettled you become. 

You shift on your feet, the weight of his gaze pressing against you like an invisible hand. It's clear he wants to say something, but for whatever reason, he won't just say it.

"Is there something else you needed?" you finally ask, hoping to break the strange tension. 

"Oh! I thought you'd never ask!" Zayan exclaims, his voice as bright and cheerful as ever, as if he'd just been waiting for your cue. "Why don't you come to my office and help me out with some paperwork?" 

It's worded like an offer, but there's something about the way he says it—the slight tilt of his head, the way his grin doesn't quite reach his eyes—that makes it feel more like a test. Like he's expecting you to refuse. 

You hesitate for only a second. You are staying here for free, after all, and you did promise to help out. 

"Sure, lead the way," you say, keeping your voice neutral, even if you're not particularly excited about spending more time with him. 

Zayan's grin widens—somehow. 

"Wonderful," he says, turning on his heel. "Follow me." 

As you trail behind him down the dimly lit hallway, you can't shake the feeling that you just agreed to something more than a little paperwork.

The moment you step inside, something about the room feels... off.

It's clean—almost too clean. Papers are scattered across the desk, but they don't look haphazard. They look placed, as if each sheet was positioned with careful intention. The air smells faintly of something you can't quite place—paper, ink, and a lingering trace of something sharper, something unfamiliar. 

The heavy curtains are drawn tightly shut, thick fabric blocking out any hint of the outside world. It should make the room dim, but somehow, the chandelier above burns too brightly, casting sharp, unnatural shadows that don't quite sit right against the walls. 

Zayan holds the door open for you with an exaggerated flourish, his grin still ever-present. But when he steps in behind you, there's a quiet click.

Your stomach tightens. 

You turn slightly, about to ask why he locked the door, but before you can, his hand presses gently against the small of your back, guiding you forward. 

"Just for privacy," he murmurs, voice smooth, punctuated by a playful wink. 

You swallow hard, unsure if the shiver running down your spine is from discomfort or something deeper—something instinctual. But you say nothing as you lower yourself into the large chair in front of his desk. 

Zayan doesn't sit. 

Instead, he stands over you, looming, his presence unnervingly close. Every time he reaches for a paper, he leans in further, until the sharp tip of his nose barely brushes against your head. You can feel his breath against your hair, slow and steady, as if he's deliberately taking his time.

Zayan hums as he slides a stack of papers in front of you, the edges crisp and unnervingly pristine. "Just some basic record-keeping," he says lightly, tapping a clawed finger against the top sheet. "Payment logs, guest information—the usual." 

You glance down, scanning the neatly written names, dates, and room numbers. A flicker of unease prickles at the back of your mind. Should you even be looking at this? This seems like the kind of information that should be private. But before the thought can fully settle, you wave it off. You're only helping, right? 

Still, your grip on the pen tightens as you force yourself to focus. 

Then, you hear it. 

A sharp inhale. 

Your entire body stiffens as you realize—Zayan is smelling you.

It's subtle at first, almost too quiet to notice, but now that you're aware of it, you can't ignore it. The deep, slow drags of breath just above your head. The way the air shifts ever so slightly as he leans in closer. 

You don't move. You don't react. You don't even know how to react. 

Instead, you stare at the paper, willing yourself to focus, willing the moment to pass. But it doesn't. 

His breathing grows heavier. 

The pen in your hand trembles slightly as you try to steady yourself, to ignore the way every nerve in your body is screaming at you to do something.

But what, exactly? 

For a while, Zayan does nothing but breathe. 

Slow, deliberate inhales, each one dragging in the scent of your skin as if he's savoring it. The sound of it is deafening in the otherwise silent room, each breath sending an icy prickle down your spine. You grip the pen tighter, trying to ignore the way your hands tremble over the paperwork. 

But then—he moves. 

At first, it's subtle. His presence shifts, his breath no longer just near you but on you, ghosting over the sensitive skin near your ear. Your shoulders tense, every muscle in your body locking up, but he doesn't stop. 

Then, something even worse. 

The slow, deliberate press of lips against your neck. 

Your breath stutters. A cold wave of dread crashes through you, freezing you in place as he plants another kiss—this time lower, just above your collarbone. His lips linger for a beat too long before moving again, trailing downward with sickening patience. 

You're shaking now. Not just from fear, but from the sheer wrongness of it all. 

And the worst part? You can feel it—how much he's enjoying this. 

Zayan doesn't just sense your fear—he's thriving on it. Every hesitant breath you take, every tremor in your hands, every slight flinch—it's like fuel to him. You can practically hear the satisfaction in the way he exhales, the hum of amusement vibrating against your skin. 

Your instincts scream at you to *move*, to *do something*, but it's as if you're trapped, caught in the tension of the moment, unsure of what would happen if you push back. 

And Zayan? 

He's waiting. 

Because this isn't just about what he wants. 

It's about seeing what you'll do.

Your mind reels, panic clawing at the edges of your thoughts. Every nerve in your body is screaming, your skin crawling beneath Zayan's touch. The room feels too small, the air too thick, and for a terrifying moment, you wonder if you'll even be able to move—if your body will listen to you at all. 

Then, without fully thinking, you slam your hands down onto the desk. The sharp sound echoes through the room, making even you flinch. Your breath is uneven, your heart hammering in your chest, but you force your voice to come out steady. 

"Stop touching me." 

It's not a plea. It's a demand. 

Zayan doesn't pull away immediately. If anything, you feel his smirk before you see it—the way his lips curl against your skin, his breath hitching in what sounds like amusement. His posture doesn't change, his presence still looming over you, but there's a new energy now, a shift in the air. 

Slowly, he leans back, though not by much. 

"You wound me," he murmurs, his voice dripping with mock hurt. "So tense. So afraid." 

His eyes gleam as he watches you, as if he's taking in every detail—your stiff posture, your clenched fists, the way your chest rises and falls a little too quickly. 

"But," he finally sighs, stepping back fully, giving you just enough space to breathe, "if that's what you really want..." 

His grin widens, sharp and knowing. 

You don't trust that look. Not for a second.

"I trust you can finish your paperwork on your own," you say, your voice colder than before. You push away from the desk, your pulse still racing, and storm toward the door. 

Your hand grips the knob, ready to make a dramatic exit—only for it to refuse to turn. 

You freeze. 

The lock. 

Your frown deepens as you reach down, fingers fumbling slightly as you flip it open. For a tense second, you hesitate, expecting—no, *bracing*—for Zayan to stop you. Maybe another touch, another word, maybe even just a shift in his stance to block your way. 

But nothing comes. 

When you glance back, he's exactly where you left him, standing behind the desk, that ever-present smirk still stretched across his face. He watches you with a lazy amusement, eyes glinting in a way that makes your stomach twist. 

He wanted you to run. 

The realization sends another shiver down your spine, but you don't stick around to dwell on it. The door swings open, and you all but rush out, your footsteps echoing through the dim hallway as you make a beeline for your room. 

You don't stop. 

Not until you're inside, the door shut and locked behind you, your back pressed against the wood as you try to steady your breathing. 

Even then, you swear you can still feel his gaze.

The rich scent of leather and the faint aroma of sandalwood filled the air as Zayan pushed aside the disguised panel, revealing a room bathed in a soft, seductive glow from the screens that lined the walls. He stepped in, the plush carpet muffling his footsteps, and his eyes immediately fell on the luxurious couch that beckoned him closer.

The screens lining the walls flickered to life, bathing the dimly lit office in a cold, bluish glow. Images flashed across them—empty hallways, the front desk, the quiet streets outside. With a slow, deliberate flick of his wrist, Zayan navigated through the feeds, his fingers dancing over the controls with practiced ease. One by one, the images shifted until he found what he was looking for. 

Your room. 

A slow, satisfied smile crept across his lips as he leaned back in his chair, his sharp eyes drinking in the sight before him. There you were, pressed against the door, your breath still uneven, your posture stiff with lingering fear. Perfect.

His anticipation swelled as he watched you, utterly unaware of his gaze. The way your fingers trembled slightly, the way your shoulders heaved with every deep inhale as you tried to calm yourself—it was fascinating. Delicious, even.

Zayan settled onto the couch with a self-satisfied grin, his body sinking into the soft cushions that enveloped him. He reached for the zipper of his fitted pants, the leather of his belt making a soft sound as it slipped through the loops. With a deliberate motion, he released his erection, its tip glistening with anticipation, and paused to caress the smooth shaft, feeling it throb under his touch. The veins stood out prominently, mapping a path of longing along his length.

As he gazed at your image, his hand began to move with intention, alternating between a firm grip and a gentle caress, creating a rhythm that matched the quickening beat of his heart. Each stroke drew a low groan from deep within him, the sound resonating in the softly lit room. The warmth of his hand contrasted sharply with the cool air that brushed against his sensitive skin, sending waves of pleasure coursing through him.

Leaning back, Zayan let his thoughts drift back to that moment in his office. He recalled how you quivered beneath him, your breath hitching in shallow, erratic bursts. Your hands balled into fists, caught in a struggle between fight and flight. Disgust. Fear. Two raw emotions, so palpable, yet you remained. You hesitated, even as every instinct urged you to flee.

Why?

The question sparked a flicker of amusement within him, a smirk playing on his lips. Did a part of you want to discover what would unfold if you stayed? Were you pushing your boundaries—or perhaps testing his?

The mere thought sent a thrill racing through him.

He shifts forward in his seat as his eyes lazily drift back to the monitors. Just in time to see you move.

You've finally pushed away from the door, no longer frozen in place. He watches as you cross the room, your steps hesitant but determined, making your way to the large closet on the far wall.

As you step inside the closet to change into more comfortable sleepwear, Zayan's eyes are glued to the screen, his hand quickening its rhythm around his cock. He can't resist leaning in closer to the monitor wanting to get closer to you.

He takes in every exposed inch of your skin, his gaze sweeping across your body. A smile creeps onto his face, fueled by the realization that you remain blissfully unaware of his watchful eyes.

His grip tightens around his shaft, the friction sending a jolt of pleasure through him. His breathing quickens, his chest rising and falling in time with his strokes. He closes his eyes, surrendering to the sensation.

It doesn't take long for his climax to build, his body tensing as the pressure grows. When it finally breaks, it's like a dam bursting, the flood of release washing over him. He cries out, his hips bucking involuntarily, the sound of his voice echoing off the walls of his chamber.

It's not enough, he thinks, as the rush of adrenaline subsides. It's never enough.

He needs to be there with you.

[peacekeeperangel]

Tower of Deceit- A soundtrack

Hi Guys! Since the Spire of Shadows came out, I like many others have had loads of ideas, so like how I did for Mermaid's Tale I'm going to Slap together some songs I thought fit- Use them for AMVs or to get yourself in the right headspace for fanfictions! I'm going to set this here some songs may contain Trigger Warnings- Please be careful when investigating/listening.

"The Riddle" - The Scarlet Pimpernel Sountrack Considered for: Everybody.

This has been on my radar for years but it REALLY suits this update due to the Waltz-like tune and the whole theme of the song being Deception! If you need something mysterious to listen to this is it!

"Achilles Come Down" - Gang Of Youths (TW: Self-ending) Considered for: White Lily, Pure Vanilla, Shadow Milk It dawned on me this song sounds like Lily and Milk arguing for Vanilla- Potential Shipping war we're walking...- Either way if you want a good song for the Angel/Devil dynamic I'd turn this one on. "Hurt Incantation"- Rapunzel Animated Series Considered for- Truthless Recluse Oh come on I'm surprised no one else narrowed in on this one. The one I picked was a cover by Annapantsu but go with whatever version jams your jelly the best, it all works. got the right mood for the character in question "Villian" - Stella Jang Considered for: ???? Okay I'm not sure about this one but people have been using this for PV/SM for Agggges so might as well include it. "Writing on the Wall" - Will Stetson Considered for: Shadow Milk Cookie Yes I'm aware this is a Genshin Impact cover song LET ME EXPLAIN! See I heard this for the first time when Shadow Milk Cookie first revealed himself in the Silver Kingdom, and I've weirdly associated the song with him ever since then. Maybe it's the Lyrics maybe it's the melody but I've come to associate the Fall of Shadow Milk with this song. Weird I know, but if you can work with it go to town! "Rainbow Connection"- Kermit the Frog Considered for: Pure Vanilla Cookie I started noticing there was no song for Pure Vanilla Cookie which was unfortunate. But if there's any song here for PV it's gotta be this one. I went with a cover by "Sleeping at Last" but again since this is a classic there's a million covers out there so go with what suits you best. "They're Only Human"- Death Note Musical, covered by Annapantsu and Caleb Hyles Considered for: Dark Enchantress Cookie/Shadow Milk Cookie a Song perfect for spying on Pure Vanilla and White Lily being evil and waltzy-sounding. something fun. Again pick your alternatives but I like the cover Anna and Caleb did so I'm sticking to that one. "Wolf in Sheep's Clothing- REBORN" - Set it off Consider for: Pure Vanilla/Truthless Recluse Okay this is mostly a joke, half because it came out just in time for the update and having PV rock out hard with some heavy metal especially with going "Emo" as the Truthless Recluse makes it wild. Who's point of view this takes after I leave to the listener's interpretation but work with what you have eh? "I Know Those Eyes/This Man Is Dead"- The Count of Monte Christo Considered for: White Lily/Truthelss Recluse

Now I'm Mad at myself because I am quite fond of the Purelily ship and this song SCREAMS for it. I really should have put this in at the first shot but Eh, better late than never "The World Revolving"- Toby Fox covered by Osiris Music Considered For: Shadow Milk Cookie

I'm pretty sure this the new Universal themesong for crazy clowns in nerdcore but it still works for Shadow Milk Cookie at his zaniest. and Osiris Music is really very good and needs more credit. "Candle Queen"- GHOST Considered for: Candy Apple Cookie

Yeah this was the only song I could think of that suited Shadow Milk's Harley Quinn-esque sidekick. Plus I dunno why but her design makes me think Electroswing. Okay! that's it for now! I may come back later to add more, I may not, let's just see. I hope my little soundtrack collection helps inspire all your future fanworks! :D

[irondadfics]

Hello! I was wondering if you could find me a/some fics that have a seriously injured or very sick Peter that also have him going to the hospital? Thank you!

here’s some for you! Some are unfinished but still worth checking out

Friendly Fire by JolinarJackson

Finding a careful truce with the government, the “rogue Avengers” are allowed to return to the Compound where they are put under house arrest. Peter coming to spend one week at the Compound during his summer break couldn’t have come at a more inconvenient time as the opportunity to bond a little more with his mentor is overshadowed by a conflict he doesn’t quite understand. When he starts to develop a mysterious medical condition, however, the former team is forced to work together – not just to protect Peter’s identity from the DODC, but also to find the cause for his illness before it’s too late. “He’s my kid,” Tony said, his voice hoarse. “He’s my kid and I failed him.” He covered his eyes and took a few deep, shuddering breaths. “All I ever do is fail him.” Natasha knelt down in front of him and cupped his face in her hands, waiting for him to meet her eyes before she said, “Right now, he doesn’t need you to fix this. He doesn’t need you down here. He needs you over there, in the medbay, by his side.” She thumbed tears from the corners of his eyes and ignored the ones running down her own face. “You haven’t failed him yet.”

A Pair of White Converse by orphan_account

The subway car was quiet. Almost too quiet. Peter’s senses buzzed in the silence. A familiar shiver ran down his spine, and his muscles clenched reflexively. There was danger, his spidey-sense told him that much. But where? Someone sneezed into a tissue before clearing their throat gruffly, and the noise grated in Peter’s over-sensitive ears. A woman in a business suit chattered away on her phone, her voice brusque and commanding. She reminded him of Pepper when she was in a meeting - poised, well-aware of the power she held. Somebody was tapping their nails against the hard plastic of the empty seat beside them in a steady rhythm, almost like a countdown. Tap-tap-tap, tap-tap-tap, tap-tap-tap. ~~~ TRIGGER WARNING: if something about bombs or explosions on trains triggers you, then please don't read. Take care of yourself.

Happy Binky, the big-ass bunny by Bergen

Even Spider-Man had his limits. One of those limits was a fall from over a hundred feet, that left him with a cracked skull, a broken spine and a severely crushed left leg. Spider-Man is recovering and out of the running. But he gets no rest. Because now, Peter Parker is facing his greatest threat so far: his aunt’s new boyfriend, Happy. And everyone says Happy is a good guy. Happy is a good guy. So Peter isn’t sure why the whole thing makes him feel on edge.

That's why they call me mr. fahrenheit by SparrowFlight246

Peter’s on fire. He wakes up fast, and before he even gets the chance to feel the pain, the aches, the dizziness, he feels the heat. It’s all encompassing, a raging inferno blooming from within him and burning him up from the inside out, and god, it— —god, it hurts. - Peter gets whammied by a 24-hour superbug, and Tony’s left to keep him alive until tomorrow morning. It sounds a hell of a lot easier than it ends up being.

If You Should Die Before Me (Reserve Me A Place In Heaven) by Aurealis

Peter is locked in a flooding cave in and Tony tries to rescue him.

How They Perceive You by ephemeralstark

Peter couldn't finish as the doors to the room they were in flew open and a shaky “you can't go in there,” could be heard.  “Hey, Underoos, fancy meeting you in here!” Mr. Stark said cheerfully, although Peter could see the tenseness in his jaw and the hardness in his eyes that made him mentally groan.  “M-Mr. Star’.” Peter mumbled in greeting.  “Mr. Stark, you can't-”  “-be in here.” Mr. Stark said, interrupting Dr. Kat. “I know, they told me, but judging by what I can see here, it’s a good thing I ignored everyone. That won’t work on him.”  “It’s anaesthetic.”  “I know.” Mr. Stark said. “And it won’t work on him, he’s a funky thing, aren’t you Underoos?”  - Peter's lung spontaneously collapses and Happy does the only thing he can - takes Peter to a regular hospital.

Don't You Let Me Go Tonight by edgeofthegalaxy

In which Tony finds himself taking care of a very sick Peter Parker and things are quickly going downhill.

Peter Parker and Peppermint Don't Mix by spidermanstan

“The reaction seems to be in response to peppermint, boss.” Friday supplied. “Peppermint is known to repel spiders, and can be lethal in large quantities.”  Or In which Peter gives Tony and the gang a rather festive health scare on Christmas Eve

Cyanide? In My Shawarma? by losingmymindtonight

Pepper convinces Tony to bring Peter along on his first dinner with the Rogue Avengers since their pardoning. Poor Tony had thought the whole thing was a recipe for disaster before someone decided to shove some cyanide in his food.

Bohemian Rhapsody by Aurealis, orphan_account

It happened on the route to Avengers Compound for training. Now, Tony Stark lives in the fear of losing the one he would die protecting.

five and one by cinnamontoastcronch

Six times Peter Parker finds himself in a hospital.

A Twisted Upheaval by silentsaebyeok

“I’m afraid, Harrison, you’ve awakened a sleeping giant.” Wilson said. “Tony Stark will do anything and everything to protect those he loves. And with your carelessness, it is inevitable that my criminal empire will be brought to its knees. This is your last opportunity, your last chance to get this right. He is on our radar now.” -- The Kingpin runs the criminal underworld. He is the mastermind and the puppeteer. Tony Stark has been trying to find the elusive gangster for years, but with no luck. But then Peter Parker is kidnapped by an agent of the Kingpin’s, revealing the cracks in an otherwise unshakeable organization. Unlikely alliances form and friendships are made as the criminal underworld begins to unravel.

You always get back up (and I'll catch you when you fall) by SuperHeroTiger

Chapter 1: Day 1: Hanging

Peter Parker always gets back up. But sometimes, he falls, and it hurts, and he breaks. Thankfully Tony Stark is always there to help pull him back to his feet...

[missvelvetsstuff]

The Situation Room

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: After a mission almost gone wrong, Tony brings back Bucky's former assistant, who is also Bucky's ex. Can they work together without hurting each other? Will the whole truth about their break up finally come out?

Chapter 10

Warnings: Swearing and angst

Notes: WooHoo! An update. I've been writing a sentence or two a day waiting for my muse and she stopped by yesterday to help write this chapter.

It's shorter than I prefer but its an update. Sorry for the cliffhanger and the reality that idk when I'll be able to update again with everything going on.

Life is still kicking my ass and I was sick af all weekend but am slowly improving. We officially move in with mom in law this weekend to take care of her with home hospice. Between that, broken cars and the holidays I'm frazzled and exhausted.

I hope it doesn't suck.

Radar was woken up by Bucky's snoring and her full bladder. As she became more aware she saw the room was just starting to lighten up and realized the team would be waking soon.

She then realized she was tangled up with Bucky and laid thinking for a few minutes, trying to work out how to extricate herself without waking him. When she picked up her head she felt a knot in her neck from the position she had fallen asleep in, which triggered muscle spasms in her back.

A soft, pained moan escaped and Bucky was awake, mumbling "hhmmm, wus up?" He cleared his throat "Y/N? Are you ok?"

Radar tried to nod but the movement made things worse "ugh, sure. Just slept wrong. Need to stretch."

Bucky rubbed her arm "Ok. Let me help. We'll go slow." He moved carefully to untangle them without hurting her too much.

Once he was done she stood and stretched out as he dozed off again. She stared at him for a moment and smiled softly, feeling hopeful for the first time in years, before heading to her room for a shower and to get her day started.

Once she was clean and dressed, Radar was checking her emails and schedule for the day when there was a knock at her door. It was an agent that she didn't recognize.

"Can I help you?"

The agent smiled "I'm Megan, work in the dispensary. Dr Raynor was concerned after your session yesterday and wanted me to give you something to help you relax. She called it in last nite but we were all gone for the day."

Radar looked confused "I thought the dispensary was always manned, in case of emergency."

A quick look of fear flashed in Megan's eyes and she giggled nervously "Uh well yeah usually but the tech that was scheduled was sick and I was gone so they couldn't get anyone. Luckily we didn't have any emergencies."

She quickly changed the subject and held out a prescription bottle "Anyways, this should help the anxiety. Directions are on the bottle."

Radar looked at the bottle warily "No thanks, I don't need to be drugged up when I'm working."

Megan shook the bottle "Well, save it for at night. To help you sleep."

Radar shook her head "Thanks but no. Tell Raynor I'm good."

Megan quickly looked around the hall and sighed before pushing her way into Radar's room and closing the door behind her. "Jesus you're difficult, I see why Walker liked to drug you, I think I'm going to enjoy it myself."

Radar tried to push Megan away but her sore back restricted her movement and she felt a pinch in her neck before everything went black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky was startled awake by someone working in the kitchen. He sat up, looked around, saw Sam starting on breakfast and groaned.

Sam chuckled "You alright over there, Sleeping Beauty?"

Bucky shook his head to clear it and mumbled "Yeah, I'm-"

He stopped mid thought and looked around "Have you seen Radar? We both fell asleep on the couch."

Sam shook his head "I've been up almost an hour, haven't seen anyone but you."

Bucky heard talking down the hall before Nat and Wanda came into the kitchen to offer Sam some help. They all worked on breakfast while Bucky stared before asking "Have you guys seen Radar?"

Nat shook her head "Not today. You kids have another blow up?"

He shook his head "No, actually we talked and fell asleep in here. I remember her getting up but fell back asleep hoping she'd come back. I thought we made some progress." He sighed sadly "Guess I was wrong."

Sam tsk'ed at him "Don't go negative right away. Maybe she had some work to do. Sometimes Fury likes to throw small assignments at the Angels, you know that. She might have had an email or something. Don't jump to any conclusions" he pointed at Bucky "You should know better."

Bucky took a deep breath "Right, don't assume. I'm going to see if I can find her." He stood up and stalked out of the room.

Wanda, Nat and Sam looked at each other and Wanda shrugged "Maybe they actually started on their way back to each other?"

Sam smirked and Nat smiled softly "We can only hope."

Bucky checked the Situation Room and Radar's office with no luck and could feel himself starting to panic so was practically running to get to her room. When he arrived he noticed her door wasn't fully closed which grew the knot in his stomach.

He swore softly as he carefully entered her room. "Radar? Doll are you in here?"

The lack of any response pushed him towards a panic attack before he realized he wasn't using one of the best assets in the compound "Friday? Can you tell me where Radar is?"

"I'd be happy to help, Sargent Barnes, but Lieutenant Radar is not in the compound."

Bucky felt his heart drop "Not here? Did she have work to do offsite? When did she leave?"

"I'm not aware of any assignments she has been given that would require her to leave the premises. She left at 5:48 this morning with one of the dispensary technicians."

Bucky started pacing the room, trying to think. "Why would she do that? Did she leave any kind of note? Maybe something in her logs about it?"

"There isn't anything in her log but she left a message for you. Would you like to see it?"

Bucky grumbled "You could have started with that. Yes, please I'd like to see it."

Friday posted a text message on his phone:

Bucky, I'm so sorry but I can't do this. It's all too much so I'm going back to my work in Madripoor. I wish you all the best but please don't come looking for me. Love, Radar.

Bucky growled "No, she wouldn't just run away like that. Does Fury know? She couldn't just reassign herself. She wouldn't."

Friday sounded sympathetic "I'm sorry, I can't find anything in my system but Fury doesn't always log everything he's doing so you should speak with him."

Bucky turned and left the room "Fine. I'll fucking talk to Fury."

When he arrived at Fury's office, the man himself was just arriving with Maria Hill, discussing something that was probably above his pay grade. "Fury!"

Nick looked up "Yes, Sargent Barnes?"

"Radar left the compound early this morning and I need to know if you sent her somewhere or have any clue where she is."

A rare look of surprise crossed Fury's face before quickly disappearing for his typical scowl. "What do you mean she's offsite? I haven't approved anything. We have something big coming and will need her soon. There's a meeting this afternoon."

Bucky scoffed "Reschedule it. I'm not doing a damn thing until we find her."

Nick glared at him "You don't decide what we are or aren't doing Sargent." Then he sighed "But her assistance will be vital so I'll put it on hold for a minute but regardless, it's coming."

He turned to Maria "Call the team and their support staff to an emergency meeting in one hour. We need to get to the bottom of this."

An hour later the team was all sitting around a conference table. Tony half asleep but chugging coffee like his life depended on it, Steve and Sam fresh and showered after their morning run, Nat Wanda and Clint quietly trying to figure out what was going on. Assistants and other support staff at the furthest end of the table, quietly waiting. Bucky sat still and tense, waiting to get started.

Nick Fury strode in with Maria Hill in his wake "All right, everyone's here, let's get this started"

Tony interrupted "Radar isn't here, someone should find her."

Fury nodded "You hit the nail on the head, Stark. Radar isn't here or anywhere else on the compound. We have something big coming up and will need all hands so have to find her asap."

Maria Hill spoke up "All we have is the time she left and with whom. Plus a note she left for Sargent Barnes saying that she couldn't deal with everything and was returning to Madripoor."

She pulled up the image from her laptop, a fuzzy picture of Radar and Megan talking in the hallway outside of her room, then Megan's ID picture "Radar was seen with Megan Alexander, a dispensary tech who has worked for SHIELD for 5 years. Came to the compound shortly after it was converted."

Maria looked at the floor "A background check was done by someone I thought I could trust but was apparently a double agent. When I did some digging I found that her real name is Emily Megan Pierce. I think Radar is in real trouble."

@unaxv @calwitch @buckitostan @cjand10 . @vicmc624 @sandrab02

Chapter 11

[v3nusxsky]

Whispers of Seduction

*Authors note~ introducing Larissa Weems to Sinful souls. I wonder what kinks she’ll have ;) also can’t wait to get more into the storyline with the next few instalments smut coming soonnnnn*

Trigger warnings~ more harsh Leonora, shh jealousy is serious persistent Larissa club things overall teasing etc mentions of smut

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Nevermore continued to flourish and naturally the stress of having an Addams present ensured that the blonde shifter needed a break from being principal. Of course anything too close to the grounds of the school was off limits. As much as the woman deserves her own personal life, it seems most of the parents keep close watch on her time off grounds. Would that stop Larissa Weems from relaxing like she would in England? Absolutely not.

Attending Cambridge University taught Larissa many things, one being that despite her ability she too deserves pleasure. Naturally her dominance radiates in every aspect of her life, so that was how she found herself in a club one night, where the drinks were good and well, where she discovered who she is. In actual fact, Sinful souls looks similar to that club, luring her in with its tasteful, elegant style. The perfect location to unwind and be Larissa and not Principal Weems.

Settling into a booth in the back of the club her eyes instantly landed on you. You were manipulating your body up and down this pole with an unmatched elegance and skill. The six inch heels highlighting your gorgeous toned legs as your skimpy top caressed your beautiful pillowy balls of flesh as they spilled over the cups dark emerald cups. Your chosen song being buttons by the pussycat dolls adding to your addicting performance.

“Girl, I'm a freak, you shouldn't say those things” blared as you spam around the pole, practically seducing everyone watching with just one look with your beautiful irises. To say Larissa was drawn to you would’ve been an understatement. Promiscuous happened to be a regular song that clients asked for you to dance to, that’s why it’s okay fitting it’s the first song Larissa had the pleasure to watch. From there on she was hooked, ordering a tall glass of red as she settled In for the night, eagerly awaiting for Delicate Doll to return to the stage.

Larissa Weems is a stickler for routines which is her reason for returning to Sinful Souls every night after hours of Nevermore Academy, always managing to secure the same seat that provided her the best view of the stage. Of you. You’d had a particularly slow night the first time she tipped you, Slumber Party blaring through the speakers as your audience seemed to be predominantly sapphic allowing you to be a bit more flirtatious in your moves. And when her slender fingers reached up to tuck a twenty into your waist band her cheeks flushed red as you winked at her. You’d noticed her for the past few nights now, always there and always stunningly put together. Alluding dominance and elegance with every sip of the ruby wine.

From there Larissa would always secure private dances with you and only you, always tipping you well above the going rate and always complimenting you and trying to get to know you personally. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t cause your heart to flutter and your stomach to drop at her intense gaze and shy smile whenever she learnt something new about you. She made you feel like the only girl in the room, as if you weren’t a barely clad dancer in her lap, more like you were her lover.

Leonora prided herself on her awareness of the goings on in her club. Therefore, it should’ve been no surprise to you at all that she’d spotted the same blonde with you night after night. You also should have expected her to become colder, more harsh with your training and her comments on such things. See Leonora didn’t know why, but you affected her in this way, and Leonora wouldn’t stand for it. Every beautiful woman that worked their way into her sheets never seemed to compare to you. Often, she’d imagine you instead of them and on the odd occasion she was alone to satisfy her needs, it was your name on her lips, your eyes peering down at her blown pupils as she clenched around the fingers in her pulsing core.

If was you that the raven haired woman wanted on all fours pathetically begging her to make you cum, screaming for her as she tailed you into oblivion with her strap, her hands in your hair as she panted praises in your ear. You giving her the dances in the privacy of her room, for free. Yet, she also craved being the one you wake up next to, the one you smile up at, you being the one attends the club on her arm. Hers. And hers only. Not that pesky blonde woman you are constantly all over. No. You were her doll in her mind. Yet it seemed she now had some competition, and if there’s one thing she’s good at, it’s winning. Little did you know, you were the prize for both women. And little did they know you wanted them both in the most confusing yet beautiful ways.

[tcookies777]

Where I am now

Many of you have left such kind comments and sent me messages out of concern for my wellbeing. For that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I also appreciate your patience as I understand it can be difficult to wait months for a chapter update on a long, tedious fic such as The Anatomy of Love. Your patience for this story is always sincerely appreciated.

I've been struggling for months to find the right words to say. To decide whether to express the ache in my heart or draw lines and stay silent. But while a part of me wishes to say little to nothing on the matter out of a sense of shame, the better part of me recognizes that conversations like the one I'm about to raise are something that needs to be discussed more. If only to raise awareness of the topic or help destigmatize it. If only to normalize issues like these. If only to just help someone else who might be going through a dark period in their life as well.

It's here that I'll give a final warning of the sensitive topics of this post. So feel free to turn away now if the topic of mental illness might be upsetting.

Trigger warning: suicide and mental illness

Ok, so here goes....

My sister committed suicide. I won't go into details of course, but it was not peaceful or quiet - it was violent, gruesome, and excruciatingly painful. So much so that the police thought it might've been a murder and harshly investigated us, making everything more difficult and traumatizing than it already was.

She had battled with depression for nearly 2 decades, deteriorating far beyond recognition. We had grown estranged over the years of my childhood because she pushed loved ones away, blaming them for the way she turned out but also still relying on them to survive. An awful cycle of codependency.

I myself have been battling with high-functioning depression for the past decade, which is one reason why I struggle to respond to people's messages. From readers, friends, and family alike. I, too, have an issue of pushing people away. Because I'm ashamed for them to see how broken my life is. Because I have seen the way people judge you for having a mental illness. I have witnessed friends, family, and even Healthcare workers gaze upon the mentally ill as if they are a sore sight.

To be honest, I understand both sides; it can also be frustrating to pool all your time, effort and resources into trying to help someone who does not want to be helped. It burns you out. That despite your efforts to fight for that person, they do not fight for themselves and you're forced to watch them deteriorate in a slow, agonizing process.

"At the beginning, you’ll do your best to shoulder all my burdens. At the beginning, you’ll be strong about it. But over time, you’ll come to regret it—you'll come to regret me, and the burden that I have become to you." — Kakashi, Chapter 30 of The Anatomy of Love

On the other side, it's hard to take that step to accept the help offered to you. It's hard to find the strength to meet your loved ones halfway and help them to help you when you hardly have the strength to even get out of bed. Yet, you also feel guilty because it feels as if you are just dragging down those around you.

These are the feelings Kakashi expresses to Sakura in Chapter 30, when he tries to explain the reasons why they cannot and should not pursue a relationship. Guilt and self-loathing are the feelings that have been eating me up inside for years, as they ate at my sister as well.

We were born from a loveless, violent marriage. So we didn't know how to love each other, though we did whether we wanted to or not. Likely it was the trauma that bonded us. But put together, my sister and I were oil and water. Loving someone who is your family but is practically a stranger to you is incredibly difficult and taxing.

Yet, I understood completely. You just don't know how to show love to someone when you were never given love.

But despite my estrangement from my sister, I still love her. Being a 1st generation American often means you have nothing but your family. When you have no house, no savings, no relatives to turn to - just your immediate family - it can be a toxic, tough love where you have only that person whether you like them or not. And in Asian culture, family is especially everything even when it's completely dysfunctional.

So why am I updating TAOL now?

It's mostly for myself. Because it's my own comfort fic that allows me to engage in therapeutic writing. It's a story of loneliness and love of all forms (romantic, sexual, familial, etc). More importantly, it's a story about finding family, finding love, and finding home. Something that I've yearned for all my life.

And it's a story of pursuing happiness even when you think you don't deserve it. It's a story that shows good coping mechanisms and bad coping mechanisms and their consequences. It's a story of picking yourself up by the bootstraps even when you just want to sit and wallow in despair. And it's also a story of embracing the love of those around you and taking their hands when they reach out to you and offer their support.

At its core, The Anatomy of Love is a story about fighting loneliness, self-hatred, guilt, and mental illness with love. With the love of friends and family. And with the love for yourself. Because while it's important to have a strong support system to love and look out for you, it is just as important to love yourself and really put in the effort to take care of yourself. And sometimes that means being ""selfish"" and prioritizing yourself over others.

Why am I saying all this?

I'll admit, I'm uncomfortable revealing the skeletons in my closet to strangers online where everyone can judge and share my secrets. I'm embarrassed to admit that TAOL's themes are projections of my own desires, and for people to know that I write about such things in fanfic because of the fact that I don't have them. But I'm just too insecure to talk to anyone 1 on 1. Not to mention that, unfortunately, it's not that simple to just go to therapy (especially when the healthcare system is broke here).

Most importantly, I hope that if there's anyone out there reading this and going through a shitty point in their lives as well... I hope you are able to take comfort in the fact that you are not alone in this. We individually have our own demons to fight, but we're all fighting the same battle.

I wish I could say it gets better, but there's honestly no guarantee. So many times, I've had to stop myself from telling patients "things'll get better" because that's a promise that we're taught never to make. The truth is no one knows if things really do get better. Personally, I haven't been feeling better at all. For most of my life, people have been telling me it gets better and to just be patient, but every year it actually gets worse and worse. And just when you think things are starting to look up, it instead gets even more worse.

It's tiresome waiting years for things to get better when it seems it's nowhere in sight.

But I'm trying my best to take it day by day. I do my best to get out of bed, go to work, take a proper shower, feed myself. I do my best to love myself - mostly out of fear that what little family I have will one day disappear and I will have no one left to love me. No one but myself.

But sometimes my best does not feel enough. Sometimes I hate myself more days than others.

That's okay, I tell myself. I hate myself today, but I will love myself tomorrow. I will forgive myself eventually. I can be happy eventually. One day at a time.

Because on my better days, I realize that not every person can afford to wait for things to get better. You have to be the one to take the initiative - get off your ass and take that step forward and make things better yourself. All the people around you can offer you all the help that you need, but the most important thing is that YOU have to want to help yourself.

So that's all I am able to say for now. I do apologize if my thoughts are a bit discombobulated. I am still struggling to find my feet when it feels like I'm still drowning under pounding waves of darkness. If you've read this far, I appreciate you taking the time to read this.

Meanwhile, I hope you guys can continue to enjoy reading The Anatomy of Love. The chapter is not entirely to my satisfaction due to the last minute revisions I made, but I wanted a sprinkle of happiness in the moment. I think that's something we all need.

Also, thank you for the messages you have sent me and the comments you left. I'm truly sorry I do not have the courage or strength to respond, but please know I am forever grateful and touched that people would reach out to a stranger like me.

Hope to see you soon,

TCOOKIES