#This is exactly the kind of thought I want put in my dnd settings

[hairmetal666]

Never in a million years did Steve Harrington think he'd be standing in the drama club room in front of Eddie the Freak--who's sitting on a goddamn throne with his full lips pulled into a smug grin--asking to be taught how to play Dorks and Goblins. Yet, here he is, face a burning shade of crimson, as he explains for the sixth time what, exactly, he needs.

"Munson, it's not that hard. Henderson wants me to play in the--the game thingy they're doing when Will is home for a visit."

"Yeah, Harrington, and I stop listening every time you call it a game thingy. You obviously don't care about this at all, so why should I waste my time helping you?"

Steve rolls his eyes. "What if I pay you?"

Munson's face goes through a complicated series of changes before falling into a neutral mask, no smirk or teasing smile to be found. "You'll pay me to teach you dnd? Are you fucking kidding?"

"No?' Steve draws a hand through his hair, watches as Munson's dark eyes track the movement. "I thought you might help me out cause those kids never shut-up about you, but I'm willing to put money on it."

"Huh," Eddie says. He steeples his fingers under his chin. "Maybe I misjudged you, Harrington."

Steve lets himself smile at this. "I don't think you did. I don't give a shit about this game."

"Didn't take you for one to have a bunch of nerdy child friends."

"I'm their babysitter," he says, realizes immediately it was a mistake.

Eddie cackles until it turns into a full-bodied laugh, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes. "You are something else, Harrington," he manages.

For his part, Steve hopes Munson hasn't noticed how bright red his face is. "Does that mean you'll help me?"

"I guess," he rolls his eyes. "But if you're just screwing around, I'm out."

"No, yeah, totally," Steve nods too hard, sends his hair cascading into his face. "Sounds good. How much?"

"Huh?" Eddie tilts his face up, giving Steve a perfect view of the smattering of faint freckles across the bridge of his nose.

"I said I'd pay you. What's the going rate for dnd lessons?"

"Oh, nah, free of charge, Harrington. Henderson would eat me alive if he knew I made you pay."

The smile they share is soft, tentative, and Steve doesn't notice the swathes of pink decorating Eddie's pale cheekbones.

---

They meet up in the drama room after the last bell. Eddie is waiting on the throne with his feet propped on the table, sipping a Mt. Dew. His eyes widen when Steve walks into the room.

"You're on time," he says.

Steve scoffs. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Eddie shrugs, sets his feet on the floor. "Just wasn't aware that the King put a lot of stock in punctuality."

"C'mon, man, I'm trying not to be that guy, and I'm definitely not king of anything. Unless maybe it's Family Video, but even then, that's Robin."

"You're kind of weird, Harrington, you know that?" Eddie's dimples bracket his smile. The sight does weird things in Steve's chest.

"I've been told, yeah." Steve smiles back. "Where do we start?"

They start with dice, with a character sheet.

"Chaotic-good human Paladin?" Eddie asks.

He shrugs. "That's what Dustin keeps screaming at me. I got no idea what any of it means."

"That's not entirely true," Eddie says. "You've kept up with me so far."

"Yeah, that's you. Dustin rambles and then accuses me of not listening when it's over my head. When he goes on long enough, I start to get a headache right here," Steve rubs the spot between his eyes.

"That kid," Eddie says with the right combination of affection and frustration. "I don't know, you seem to have picked up on some of the stuff he said. You have a solid idea on gameplay, at least. I'd say you're doing pretty good."

"Thanks," Steve laughs. "No migraine yet, so that's a point in your favor."

"Migraines?"

"Head trauma."

"Byers?"

"And Hargrove."

"That was Hargrove?" Eddie asks.

"Hit me in the head with a plate."

"What the fuck."

"He was pissed that Max was friends with Lucas. He came after them. I couldn't just let him--I think he would've killed Lucas."

Eddie nods, hands fiddling with a die. "No wonder those kids love you," he says.

"We've been through some shit together."

"Guess it makes more sense why you wanted to learn dnd."

"As much as it pains me to admit," Steve rolls his eyes. "I love to make those little shitheads happy."

"Well, based on the way they talk about you, you succeed."

"You too, you know?" Steve offers. "All I've heard about the last three months is 'Eddie's so cool,' 'Hellfire's so fun.'"

"Jealous?" Eddie laughs.

"Completely," Steve admits.

"Don't worry, Harrington, I'll make a nerd out of you yet."

---

They meetup after school every day they can over the next two weeks. At first, Steve is surprised that he doesn't really mind spending so much time with Munson, that he actually, kind of, has fun. And the more time they spend together, the more Eddie infiltrates his space. Leans into Steve's side as they sit next to each other, brushes their hands together, hovers over his shoulder, faces nearly touching, as he checks stuff on Steve's character sheet.

It makes Steve feel--well, it makes him think of what it would be like to run his fingers through the soft gloss of Eddie's curls; wonders what that plump mouth would be like pressed against his own; can't stop thinking about if Eddie is as vocal in bed as he is everywhere else. He knows he also likes guys, has for a while, but he's never in his life wanted someone this viscerally; so much he can feel the ache of it in his teeth.

It's the last day before the campaign for Will, and Steve is fucking sad. He thinks maybe Eddie is too. He's at least quieter than normal, explanations not at their usual fever pitch. An hour before they usually call it quits, he claps his hands together (too gently, too unlike himself), says, "That's it, Harrington. You're not going to be more ready than this."

"Right," Steve says. Can't help his eyes from darting over Eddie's face, aching to know what he's thinking. "You'll be there tomorrow?"

Eddie bends his head over his notebooks. "Nah, I don't need to intrude."

"But--"

"It's okay, Stevie. I get that it's family only." He looks like he really means it, but his eyes are sad, don't shine like they should.

Steve doesn't know what to say to that, just nods, and then there's nothing else. They stare at each other for a few very long, quiet seconds, before Eddie says, "I'll see you around, Harrington."

"Right, yeah. You too." And he walks out of the drama room with the heaviest heart he thinks he's ever had.

---

Steve thinks he won't miss Eddie. That if he doesn't dwell on those hours spent with Eddie, learning dnd, that the missing will go away.

It doesn't.

Which is how he finds himself back at the high school on Wednesday, standing in front of the drama room door, willing himself to go inside. Eddie's on the throne, the typical notebooks and binders and Mt. Dew cans clustered around him, but he's not engrossed in imagining up a new campaign for Hellfire. No, his head is in his hands, knees drawn up to his chest.

"Eddie?" Steve asks.

His head pops up, and even in the low light, Steve notices the silvery tracks of tears down his cheeks.

"Steve! What are you--" he hastily wipes at his face with his shirt sleeve. "What are you doing here?"

Steve's acting only on instinct, crossing the room and dropping to his knees, taking Eddie's jaw between his palms, thumbing away the wetness on his cheeks.

"Did someone hurt you?" he asks.

Eddie's laugh is wet. "Nah, Harrington. I only have myself to blame for this one."

"Can I do anything?"

"Are you trying to kill me?"

"Sorry?"

"You, Steve Harrington, kind and compassionate? Learn dnd to make your little nerd friends happy? Who are you?"

"I'm just me, man," Steve blushes. "But, uh, I came to thank you." He's still holding Eddie's face in his hands, can't help but notice the way he flushes, how his dark eyes dart away from Steve's.

"I really liked hanging out with you," Steve says. This close to Eddie, his mind doesn't quite feel like his own. All he can think of is big eyes, soft curls, full lips.

"Yo--you did?"

"So much," Steve whispers. He doesn't quite remember moving, but now their foreheads are pressed together, warm breath mingling, lips almost, almost touching.

"I liked it too," Eddie breathes. After a few seconds, he laughs. "Knew I'd make a nerd out of you, Harrington."

"Shut-up," Steve laughs.

"Make me," Eddie says, and it's just that easy. Steve crosses the space still separating them, presses his mouth against Eddie's.

The kiss is slow, exploratory, the gentle discovery of how they fit together, the promise of all the things they can do in the future, all the pleasure they can bring.

"I'm not a nerd," Steve says when they part.

"No, you're right. You're like a nerd by marriage. Nerd-in-law," Eddie giggles. His eyes are bright, face pink, the most beautiful thing Steve has ever seen.

"Shut-up," Steve giggles right back.

Eddie raises an eyebrow, the dare obvious, and Steve doesn't hesitate to kiss him again.

"You wanna get out of here?" Steve asks when they part, significantly more breathless, jeans significantly tighter, than when he arrived.

"You're gonna have to role persuasion for that, Stevie," Eddie smirks.

[rqbossman]

Hello Mr Bossman! (and possibly anyone else who reads this)

Its an honour to be here, I have a few questions. First i appologise for the long paragraph, you may dismiss it for the questions at the bottom. For context, i am here after finishing TMA and being up to date with TMAP, i then went over and listened to RQG, and have just finished listening to Epilogue 3 and might i just say, good sir I am grateful for your podcasts. I am currently just a few months away from my final exams of High School, and as someone who even just 1 year ago was very lost, struggling with school and being just overwhelmed. TMA isnt exactly comforting, but the characters and plot managed to serve as a good form of escapism while sorting myself out. I found my self engaging more in creative things that i had originally put aside in favour of maths and science (which i hated but thought i needed to do). I started drawing again, even if just fanart. and i found things going well. By finding podcasts, story telling and these communities have helped me in my own understanding of what i want in life. I got an ADHD diagnosis earlier this year, and almost directly after started RQG and as my first hyperfixation (that i was aware of as an hyperfixation) gosh dang it hit hard. (in a good way). Ive been able to do so much more creative writing and drawings, and got re-involved with a small dnd group with some friends who i played one game with almost 4 years ago now. So overall, inspirational sounds cringe, but it was. Im doing my best with the upcoming exams, but trying to get in to Medicine is not my only prority, and the fact ive been re-introduced to my first love (Literature and story telling), im planning to go do an Arts degree and i know i wouldnt have been able to confidently make this decision, or even have survived this long in the school system without the work you and your coworkers do. Now the sap is out of the way, Question time! (if you could answer even just one of these questions it would be so cool)(they go in order of RQ relevant to random stuff)(dont feel pressured to answer all/any. i know i wrote alot): 1. what would you say is the best way to draft out a long-form story. (with "Erasing the Line" as an example) Did you start at the end, with the links to the overarching plot.

2. When working with the players (in a form of TTRPG), what did you do to make sure you didnt miss relevant timing of plot points/ avoid creating spoilers while still giving enough detail?

3. What are good places to start with making a job out of storytelling/voice acting/audio etc. In the case of RQ, how is this a job and where do i sign up please! /j (what i mean is, how is best way/how did you find all the people involved and was there a common path that you were all on before getting to where you are now?) 4. Do you have recommendations for Terry Pratchett Books, i may be an literary-leaning student, but it seems i have never actually properly read any of his books. so where is best place to start?/What did you read first?

5. Similar authors or similar inspirations? Did you have a favourite podcast you listen to in your free time that you havnt had a hand in producing/directing/working on. 6. Favourite song/album/artist. And more specifically, what you like listening to in background when doing either writing or (for ttrpg) character research/game planing. 7. Since the olympics are on at the moment, what has been your favourite sport to watch, if you have been watching at all. Thank you for your time :)

Thankyou for all the kind words. Knowing our work is helping people really keeps our engines fired up. Let's see if I can't answer your questions: 1. I "sandbox" which is where I just shove everything I can think of into an unorganised bullet point list. Characters, setting, plot, all of it in one big mess. Then I decide what type of story you want to tell, copy and paste to a new document and then start to organise the thoughts (with the sandbox on standby if new stuff comes in I don't know what to do with). I think of it like scultping, you cut away bits and reshape until something comes out the other end that is story shaped. Only then do I attempt to build the sandcastle and put something coherant together like a synopsis or scratch draft etc.

2. Very tricky. I did a complete review and update of all notes after each recording session and don't forget the audio eas edited. I made lots of gaffs that you never heard as audience.

3. I contacted anyone I could convince to take part and just proved I was serious by overworking. I don't reccomend that route. Unfortunately it really is "who" you know. That doesn't mean chase established professionals as much as it means you need to get out there and associate with other up-and-comers who match your vibe. For me the route was long and windy and not a particularly good example. 4. I normally recommend people do not read his books in publication order. Don't get me wrong, its wonderful watching his craft grow from one title to the next but I would recommend new readers tip their toe into his later works to see if they like where he ended up before committing the time. I often recommend 'Monstrous Regiment' as people's first one. My favourite though is 'Thief of Time.'

5. I don't get much time to listen to podcasts in the last couple of years. I used to listen to a lot of non fiction. 'Stuff you Should Know' and that ilk. I also read a fair amount of classic YA fiction to unwind (Windinsger trilogy, Bartimeous, stuff like that.) 6. Paul Simon's Graceland but when working I assemble a playlist for each seperate project that is tonally appropriate. If I really need to focus I listen to Classical Minimalism. Or the Old School Runescape soundtrack. I'm allowed to be ecclectic. 7. I am actually in an incredibly busy work crunch at the moment so haven't seen any of it!

[serahlink]

🚨 EMERGENCY COMMISSIONS OPEN🚨 tw // homeless / some med talk but not much

Reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

Making a new post to hopefully get some work for my family and I so we have somewhere to stay for tonight, since work has been very slow lately. I'm Link, and I'm a 22-year old artist, and my family and I (me + my father and younger sibling) have been homeless since November 2021. It's a long story. TL;DR version is at the same time, while I was living with a friend and my dad + younger sibling was on the road (he drove a van at the time) he had gotten into a diabetic coma and was fired by his job. Being fired meant he or my sibling didn't exactly have a home to go back to, as our relatives on both sides refused to help. At the same time, I was going to have to find someplace else since my friends grandmother was entering the late stages of her life and they had to transfer her to the nursery, meaning there was a lot of things his family had to take care of and I couldn't be there. They allowed my father, sibling and I to stay there for two weeks to give us time to find someplace else.

While I was there, I'd been doing commissions to help their family out with food, and since it was either the streets or living under a roof; I told my friend to take us to a nearby motel since we had enough for a day, and we could figure things out from there. So since then, I've been keeping us here by doing commissions ever since. Either of us haven't been able to obtain a job yet due to how hard it is for us to get our documents to get an id (we dont have a car at the moment, and saving money for the room and food is already tough as is), but recently we think we might be able to get my father's ID so he can work, were waiting on his lung condition to recover fully and get money saved up for the documents and all that before we apply to get them. So hope isn't fully lost for us, we just need to take care of some things for a while longer until then.

Recently, things have gotten worse again. We were paying weekly thanks to the help from my followers and commissions I was getting, but when we weren't able to pay for another, we went back to paying daily again. And immediately we were set back. For the past few days, we haven't been able to pay for one let alone food. We were able to pay most of it to at least stay here, thanks to the kindness of the staff, but they called us earlier to tell us if we couldn't pay everything tonight, then we'd have to leave. We owe 120 by 11pm tonight, and I thought maybe making a new post might help us since posting on my other socials hasn't done much for us lately.

My commissions are open, and if you're interested in helping us out via a commission you can contact me through my Tumblr dms since it's the easiest way to get to me. But if you can't help financially, which I totally understand, I know the economy is tough on all of us right now, please don't feel bad or anything. Reblogs also help us a ton, and it always means a lot to us.

For the commission info itself, I have it all packed into this link right here, along with examples of my art and prices. I draw mainly fantasy pertaining to the Dragon Age Series and although I know little to nothing about Baulders Gate, I have done some art of tavs before! I also do DnD work as well, so I'm used to drawing pretty unique characters. I'll also put some examples I have below. If you want something outside of that, I'm sure I can provide, just let me know upon your request! And I think that's all. Much love to you and thank you for reading, I hope you have a wonderful day/night :)

[siodium]

my very self-indulgent doujima haul LMAO 💀 have i lost all sense of self-control? possibly. but can you blame me when the event has 600(?) booths!!! it was lowkey kinda overwhelming, and i didn't manage to walk through every aisle... but i still emerged... $400 poorer.... hee ho

mostly orv and (ban's) persona stuffs this time, with a tinge of alien stage bc i can't get over round 6. also some dungeon meshi merch!! i just caught up to the most recent episode and i rly like the series. bunch of dnd charas trying to not starve in their adventure so they cook up the monsters they come across, and the foods acTUALLY LOOK TASTY. i would've liked to get more dunmeshi stuff but i don't wanna have to pick only one of the gang?? they gotta come as set... together... y'know??

anyhows here's my haul + artists + randomly placed commentary (?):

persona 3 reload prints (@uwrowhy) - THE PRETTIEST SET OF P3 PRINTS!! the full set is insanely beautiful irl, and i'll have to do a separate post for when i set up the prints on my wall!! everything was so well thought out and carefully packaged. the sticker sheet even came with a set of explanations for each item?? and the paper bag was also super useful!! it carried the entirety of this haul, and everything was somehow still intact by the end of the event.

persona 3/5 chibi stickers (@laoyeJT)

makoto yuki mp3 player keychain, orv phone strap (@nokedoke) - the doublesided mp3 player with the smol makoto?? it's time to put it on my work lanyard so i can go Burn My breads in the pantry.

p3/p5 mc square stickers (@sanukett)

rng oni collectible cards, kappaca transport card sticker (@shermstan) - luwi and i both tried our luck at the card gacha and only got oni cards... what is this oni curse

dachi duck polaroid freebie (@dachi_duck) - pls support my friend koko's ducky art on instagram!!

lucifer keychain (@pomokat)

dungeon meshi laios wooden coaster (@missing24seven) - i know i said i didn't wanna choose a chara but i rly wanted a wooden coaster LOL. i did have the option of picking the walking mushroom design bUT LAIOS?? he looks so happy to be there.

glow-in-the-dark jellyfish keychain (@4YaOricca) - i charged it up by putting it in the sun, and it rLY DOES GLOW. wow!!

alnst sticker sheet, ivan and till prints (@charcharmaru)

alnst ivantill print, matching ivantill stickers and keychains (@mirugi11)

happy biyoo enamel pin (@nicubiii)

dokja birthday print, orv enamel mug, orv puffy photocard holders, dungeon meshi sticker sheet (@banacotta)

puffy biyoo keychain, pink and white orv sticker sheets (@hotpotchild) - !!! this was the first booth i went to bc i would not forgive myself if the poofy biyoo sold out. it's double-sided and super cute??

acrylic orv photocard holders, orv sticker pack (@waffletop_)

orv trio charm keychain, puffy dokja keychain, orv stamp washi tape, puffy biyoo sticker sheets (@para049) - i stumbled upon this booth completely by chance, and i'm so glad that i did. their art style is so pretty!! the trio keychain was the priciest item in this entire haul, but how could i not get it?

orv sticker sheet, ivantill stickers (@rossomimi)

smol demon king dokja sticker (@desirine_)

dokja acrylic stirrer (@amojinph) - i'm not exactly sure what i'll be stirring but yes.

aLSO not pictured but i received a bunch of candies from someone who complimented my makoto yuki fit?? thank you kind stranger. 😭🙏

[esperanta-dragon]

Hi, hope this question finds you well!

Read the whole series Memories of the Dawn and it's amazing! Hope, you will finish it. Your Darion is the best. I'm running a DnD campaign in warcraft setting, wotlk timeline, and soon he will show up. So, I wanted to ask you for some tips, or advices on writing his character and how to play him in an rpg.

Thanks!

Hello! Ok, this ask brightened my day as it's not every day that somebody writes me about my fanfics.

Memories of the Dawn is finished, it's only 3 chapters. Maybe you have Of Lucid Dreams and Nightmares in mind which comes after that and that will be ongoing for many chapters as it's a slice-of-life kind of fanfic.

About Darion well... It's been a long journey to develop him until this very moment because the only thing you have is the Ashbringer comic and then some bits and pieces in-game + We Ride Forth (which is a blessing and Darion has exactly the vibe he needs to give). I would say he is very complex and he shows only a little part of himself, he hides the majority of his thoughts = a quiet person with a loud mind.

What helped me the most when I was trying to figure him out was his MBTI. Just a disclaimer, I use this from time to time and everybody is different anyway depending on their trauma, experience, etc.

Darion is INFJ which means he is introverted spending most of his time learning stuff and thinking.

He is great with connecting dots and seeing the full picture, not only the surface. I would say he sees things hidden from others.

He is a perfectionist and if he is doing something, he wants to do it well, which means he spends a lot of time perfecting his skills and knowledge. If he doesn't know something, he goes and does research.

He has a strong moral compass and he puts the safety of his people before his own safety or needs. He actually does not care about himself too much as he has the safety of his people in the first place. This means that he does not hesitate to jump in or take a risk. According to Ashbringer he never cared about differences or different races. If he cares about something (the Ebon Blade in this case) he will do everything to keep it safe (second Light's Hope).

He sacrificed his own soul to save his father from damnation, so you get the idea how far he can go to keep his soldiers safe.

He is tough and shows very little emotion, but he cares and he is fair. But hurt his soldiers and he will erase you from existence.

This is probably my own thing in how I write him but he is trying to manage everything himself, otherwise, he feels he is failing in leadership, so his soldiers have to find a way how to help him without him knowing.

He does not share personal things and even those who know him for years and managed to befriend him don't know everything. So it does not happen easily he will go to somebody and say "hey I need to talk because I am losing it". It's his way to keep his soldiers away from worrying about stuff plus it's his problem and nobody else has to hear it.

The behavior above was built after Light's Hope and during the war in Northrend when the Ebon Blade still did not know each other and Darion was still building trust, so he couldn't afford to show that he is having doubts and he is struggling. No need to do it now but he kept it.

He is incredibly stubborn, if he chooses a goal, he will not stop until reaching it. You can't possibly make him change his mind if he thinks he is doing the right thing.

His soldiers believe in him because they know he has their back.

He is very reserved, and he rarely uses swear words. If he uses them, everything is going to hell. If he wants to offend somebody, he does it without swear words.

I use the Ashbriger version: a blond teenager. It sounds lame and I bet you want a grizzled veteran in his place. But after I found out how many situations you can make with Highlord of the Ebon Blade being a young teenager who doesn't seem like a threat... well have fun figuring it out! Because that means he had to try twice as hard to earn respect and his reputation.

It really depends if you want to show him on the surface as NPC. If yes then I would recommend keeping it on the surface because he is not sharing much but you can get some idea about him. I recommend reading We Ride Forth if you didn't. It's beautifully shown that he cares and if he chose a goal, he doesn't let it go.

Please feel free to use this as some guide but do not think you can't write him differently. Everybody has their own version of the character but I vibe with this one the most, especially after I saw that Brooks in We Ride Forth had the same vibe.

I apologize for the wall of text, he is more complex than that, this is just a surface but I hope it helps.

[liloinkoink]

What DnD alignment do you think the Lamplight characters are? Not just Martyn and Ren, but Bigb, Jimmy and Grian to. Also Scar if you have an idea of him.

i can certainly try! i’ve said before my not-really-secret about lamplight is i’ve only rlly played dnd once. so uh. i’m not actually sure how you define alignment? so i’m just gonna go off of tumblr posts i’ve seen

first. i’ll be honest w you. i don’t really know for jimmy or bigb. i just… im writing a renchanting au. i am very much in the camp of “i will develop exactly as much is needed to tell the story i want to tell and not much more.” unfortunately, i also don’t watch jimmy or bigb like at all so i couldn’t tell you what alignment either of em would be bc i don’t feel confident that i know either of em very well

next. i asked flowey, crystalline author, what they thought for alignments for grian and scar. they gave me several paragraphs on scar before settling on chaotic neutral and one on grian before settling on bird (he’s very hard to pin down an alignment for)

as for Ren and Martyn…so. first, i define lawful/chaotic as “how much one follows a personal code, which Can be The Law but can also just be a personal set of morals.” and i saw a post a while bakc which defined good/evil as more like… “selfless/selfish.” those aren’t really how those are traditionally defined, but that’s what i’m working w for this

which. Martyn, love him, i don’t think i need to say he’s not a man bound too terribly by a moral code. one of the fics i have lined up which i would like to get to one day includes him using Ren’s magic to pretend to be an enchanter for money. he can be kind, and he grows something of a self-imposed code of conduct the more he grows to care about his oath, but he didn’t want to be stuck with Ren for the first few days bc he was afraid of having to follow strict rules. i’d say he’s neutral in that regard, possible sliding Slightly more lawful. and he’s absolutely on the more selfish side (too much of a survivalist not to be) which puts him evil (lol)

and Ren… he has a code, but it centered around Dogwarts, and i think it loosened considerably when Dogwarts fell and he gained Martyn instead. like… Ren isn’t above killing (exceedingly violently) to protect Martyn. he like… he used to have a stricter code, i’m sure. he cared a lot about being a good god for the city, probably about being helpful and kind as often as possible. but he doesn’t care about that anymore. he doesn’t need to be an exemplary citizen. he just needs to keep Martyn safe and he will give anything to do that. but he strikes me as neutral and sliding Out of lawful. and, of course, he’s selfless and will give anything for his chosen domain. Ren, God of Dogwarts, was probably lawful good. Ren, God of Martyn, is probably neutral good

[morrigan-sims]

Please talk about your oc 🥺🙏 I'd love to hear all abt him

Panic!!! Hi!!!!!

Rook is my Swashbuckler Rogue for the DnD campaign I'm currently playing. He's a half-elf, and the bastard son of a nobleman, and the love of my life.

putting this under the cut because it's going to get SO LONG

His father and step-mother thought he was a huge embarrassment, so they weren't exactly his biggest fans. (If you see me tag his posts as "Adrian Lockwood", that's his birthname.) He ended up running away at age 17 and joining the crew of a pirate ship named the Tide Breaker under Captain Zara. He looked up to her immensely, and she taught him everything he knows about sailing and swordsmanship. She also gifted him his magic rapier.

He was promoted to first mate a few years later, which some people didn't take kindly to, since he was the youngest on the ship. He said anyone who had an issue could challenge him to a duel, and thought that would solve the problem. It didn't quite, and a few months later some of his crew mates bought him a drugged drink and sold him to a rival pirate captain, a cruel woman by the name of Captain Kora Wolf.

He was on board her ship, the Sea Snake, for two years before he managed to escape, setting the ship on fire in the process. Captain Wolf swore to hunt him down and kill him if he ever escaped, and he can only imagine how much more angry she is now that her ship was damaged.

He ran away to the Feywild, where he met up with the adventuring party and has been with them ever since.

He's generally a pretty easy-going guy. Kind, good sense of humor, always down to chat, he makes friends easily. He's a little bit superstitious, and believes every ship should have a ship's cat, or else it's Bad Luck.

He's very impulsive, often to the degree of recklessness. Sometimes it seems like he has no fear of death. He does, it's just that everything he's ever done, from leaving home to joining a pirate ship to joining an adventuring crew he'd only known for a few hours, has been because of his fear of being stagnant and bored. He wants to do interesting things and see the world, and if that leads to an untimely death, then hopefully it was worth it.

He's also claustrophobic because of the time spent in a tiny room on the Sea Snake.

Just last session he got possessed and almost killed three of his part members, including poisoning one of them with fey scorpion venom he's been carrying around for 11 sessions that I had kind of forgotten about. He feels absolutely awful about it, and is lowkey mad that his party members didn't knock him out if that was what it took to stop him from hurting people.

Oh, and Captain Wolf who kidnapped him is known as "Aunt Kory" to two of the party members (including the one who got poisoned), so that's going to be interesting when we meet her.

Me and another player also decided that Rook's closest friend in the party is the party's 40-something year old werewolf gunslinger, who Rook looks up to for having his life put together. Rook kind of sees him as a dad, in a way.

Oh, and our next dungeon is circus-themed, and I gave the DM the idea for a mirror-maze fight where you have to roll a d4 to see if you even hit the real image. (Kind of like a Mirror Image spell, but applied to the whole fight.) And the DM said I might get Boots of Haste after this dungeon!! And another party member is planning to buy me nice armor, because I'm the party's only melee fighter and my AC is a measly 15.

Here, have some images:

Image Collage that fits him well.

Art I commissioned from the lovely and amazing @/saplingdraws here on tumblr.

[kotalloxaloy]

Ok, so I finally finished Burning Shores and I have several thoughts

Below the cut because I'm sure many people haven't played and I don't want to spoil anything!

I liked the DLC! I had a lot of fun. I thought the setting was really interesting, I liked the new characters and the storyline definitely drew me in and I fucking LOVE the new mount (PSA you can take it to the main map and go underwater in the expanse of ocean that you can't swim through. There is nothing interesting down there and it pops up the warning that the current is too strong, but you can swim through it no problem.)

Yes I'm sad there was no Kotallo. It's fine, I wasn't expecting him, and we only saw Sylens and Alva so the other GAIA gang wasn't there either. I am extra disappointed that we can't go talk to him more!!! But I think that it's cool that Kotallo traveling to the sundom for the new embassy is canon now. I think lots of fics put forth the idea that Kotallo would act as a diplomat for the Tenakth to the Carja in Fashav's place. Cool that it's canon now.

I chose to kiss Seyka. Normally I pick the brain options but if I'm given an opportunity to kiss a girl in games I do it! Now, I haven't had the time to process everything well enough to pick apart the romantic story line (was it rushed? was there enough lead up to it? did it make sense?) but I do think Seyka is a good match for Aloy- the whole "I broke my tribe's rules and used technology I wasn't supposed to to help me accomplish an important personal goal" is very reminiscent of Aloy using a focus despite Rost insisting that it was dangerous.

Yes I still ship Aloy with some people who are not women. The devs have not said and nothing in the game has confirmed that Aloy (or Elisabet or Beta) is a lesbian. I myself am a bisexual woman and I am a big stickler about bi erasure. I also headcanon Kotallo as Bi. and plenty of other characters for that matter. The main thing that FW and Burning Shores confirmed for me is that Aloy (and Elisabet, and presumably Beta since they have the same DNA) is queer and I absolutely love it. More queer women leads in video games!!!

The fucking villian. Oh my god. I know I just talked about being bi but goddamnit they cast SAM WITWER as the villian??? I literally have never been so disgusted by a character I was attracted to. I've had a thing for Sam Witwer for like 13 years back when he was on Being Human. I got his autograph at a con and have it displayed in a DnD book that he contributed to. I didn't even realize it was Sam Witwer until I walked into that room with his face plastered all over the walls. Before that we only heard his recorded voice and saw holograms of him-and that never looks or sounds exactly like the character. But I walked by that first photo on the left when you walk in and I literally yelled out "SAM WITWER?" listen I could go into it more as to why i'm horrified by his character but I am a Sam Witwer fan so I can and will appreciate his performance.

Walter Londra is disgusting and I literally yelled "GROSS" out loud with the way he looked at Seyka's sister. I'm so glad Seyka was like "ABSOLUTELY NOT" and put a stop to it because if I had to watch one more second I might have puked.

I liked the theme park. Dinos are fun.

I play on story mode so maybe this is because I'm on the easiest setting, but I was able to walk on and in the lava and only go caught on fire once I was like waist deep in it. that was weird.

I would like significantly more underwater content with the Waterwing. I absolutely love it an I was just going up and down into the sky and into the water. extremely cool and I just want more underwater stuff to do with it.

There was an NPC with vitiligo which I thought was neat.

I almost cried at the end of Gildun's little side quest. And when Aloy gave him a focus I just thought it was so sweet!

I kind of felt bad for Evelyn Day? I know everyone had it bad, lots of people ended their lives before the Faro Plague hit them, and I know she cheated on her husband with his best friend which is kind of a dick move. but that last recording was very sad.

SYLENS 😭😭😭 I know I probably feel more attached to him knowing that Lance Riddick has passed away. But the end there, Aloy was SO MEAN to him! I was like "NO ALOY! He isn't doing this to prove he is the smartest!!! He decided to stay when he saw the friendships you formed! You showed him that there is value in human connection and that maybe there is a little hope when people work together!" I think she saw the good in him in the end but she was so snarky about it!

I probably have more thoughts but that's enough for now. I'm not very interested in an discourse about the devs offering a love interest or if the story of the dlc was good or whatever. I had fun, I can't wait for Horizon 3, and I still love Kotallo and ship him with Aloy but I'll be just as happy if we end up with Seyka or another WLW ship in the end for Aloy. The end. Please enjoy the queue that I just filled for you!

[sometimesrosy]

Hey Rosy, I have an ethical question to make. I don’t really like AI generated images, I feel like it’s soulless and a plague in the bookstagram community, for example. I support artists and hate to see so many AI images being spread around with thousands of likes and comments saying “how you depicted xyz is exactly how I imagined it!” while some real artists don’t even get close to those numbers.

But, a few days ago, my boyfriend commented how it would be useful to him to use AI generated images for his DnD campaign, just to idealize the characters and settings better (but would obviously never profit from it). I immediately frowned, but I have to be honest and say that, due to that, I’ve been having the thought that maybe it isn’t so bad to use AI juuuust to create some images for my story characters as well, without ever publishing them anywhere, without ever calling it art. Maybe I’d even use celebrity pictures and modify them with AI to get them elf ears or something, maybe I’d mix a sky with three moons, maybe I wouldn’t even generate a full picture.

I am, to be honest, almost ashamed of having these thoughts when I was (still am) so vocal against AI generated images. What would be your take on this, especially considering you’re an artist yourself?

SUPER timely question. I gotta be honest I'm grappling with it myself.

I don't believe that AI is in inherently bad. I think it's a tool, although there are some unethical things about it.

First of all, it isn't artificial intelligence at all. It takes real creations or performances that are already out there and uses those to synthesize amalgamations. It's not that real people don't do that, being influenced by other artists, they do, but they also put themselves into it.

I have actually seen some really cool stuff that human artists have done using AI generation tools, creating a kind of slick glossy surreal world.

I think someday, AI generators are going to be used like photographic cameras are now. When photographs first came out painters were horrified. Technology taking over what had until then been sacrosanct. Photography didn't take over art. It became it's own art. Sometimes it was just used by the masses to take snapshots for their own personal benefit and some was used by artists to create stunning works of art. Yes?

The problem we're having here is that corporations seem to want to use AI to get rid of human artists, writers, performers, editors, etc. Artists are pains in the ass. Always having opinions, being troublesome and wanting to keep the profits.

It's frankly terrifying, as an artist and writer. Is my job at risk because my clients can just ask Chat GPT to write them a novel?

I have less of a problem with people trying to visualize their own characters in their own book or DnD campaign. That's akin to people taking snapshots of their kids birthday parties. You know? I've used it. Got some ideas for visuals for my alien spaceships... although I've also drawn my own stuff.

If we're talking about turning AI generated images into things to create a profit, I think then we start getting into shaky territory. Those long text AI things are writing novels, right? But they're not paying the fiction authors whose works they scraped to get that.

The Hollywood producers are trying to pay performers one time rates to film them so that they can then create AI performances based upon their performance to use in perpetuity.

Seeing people create AI art for their self published book covers is concerning. First of all, none of the artists whose works were scraped to get those generated images are paid. Most of them didn't agree to their work being used. I think that's copyright infringement. It's stealing.

Second of all, yeah, that's a lot of human artists who are losing work. Not that the self pubbed book covers done for cheap are all that genius anyway. They're a package for marketing, not works of art for the most part, although you can certainly hire an artist for a gorgeous artwork, which is more expensive. In fact, that may be why they want to do it themselves, because they can't find something in their price range that meets their standards.

Thirdly. Using AI generated art looks flashy and impressive, sure. But we're starting to recognize the look and frankly, the images are slippery and slick. They LOOK like AI. They look like the authors are using AI not human art. As we get more familiar with it, that's going to say it's own thing. And it's not professional.

IDK. I'm still struggling with the whole thing. Have I even said anything that makes sense here? I see multiple sides. Most worrisome is coming from corporations and big business. Hollywood. The publishing industry. Journalism.

Least concerning is private people playing with a new toy to make things more fun for their hobbies. I mean yeah sure, would it be better if you paid an artist to create your DnD character profiles or fanart or fantasy maps? Sure ABSOLUTELY. But were you going to do that? Is the AI art taking away from an artist you would have otherwise hired? Chances are it's not.

Like fanfic, you know? If you're going to do it for your own enjoyment that's fine. If you're going to try to make money off of someone else's intellectual property... that's an actual crime, isn't it?

This whole thing is CRAZY and the ideas around it are still developing. I'm open to keep having this discussion.

[emolooswrld]

Hello! Could you do Eddie being completely oblivious to a quiet girl from school that likes him and only really realizing it when one day she comes up to him when he's alone and very nervously asks him out.

hi lovely!! ugh yes this is such a good idea. i tried my absolute best! i kind of switched the plot around a little bit n made them best friends, but reader is still very shy n quiet. i really hope you like it<333

it was honestly getting pathetic at this point. you were absolutely head over heels for your best friend. the loud, dnd playing, metal head, eddie munson. though you two could not be more different.

you were shy, to say the least. your nose always buried in a book. you wouldn’t dream of climbing on top of the lunch table, screaming at random students. which is exactly what eddie was doing right now. you hid your face in the book you were reading, an attempt to hide from the eyes of all your peers.

when eddie finally sat back down again, he leaned over to you, pushing your book down so he could see you. “you really have to stop hiding every time i cause a scene.” he grinned. you closed your book and set it on the table. “you know i hate the feeling of people watching me. it makes me uncomfortable.” you contorted your face in discomfort. “oh cmon sweetheart,” he leaned in so close you could feel his breath on your lips. “i know you secretly want the attention.” eddie winked. you playfully shoved him away, hoping he didn’t notice the way your breathing had significantly increased. or the way your heart practically leapt out of your chest.

this was normal for you two. always flirting meaninglessly, except for you, it was never meaningless. your heart ached every time eddie did or said anything even remotely flirty. knowing it was all a joke to him, hurt you in ways you didn’t think were possible. it was always pretend and it would never be real, no matter how hard you wished and prayed it would be.

“cmon y/n! just tell him how you feel! he 100% feels the same way. i can tell by just the way he looks at you!” you had confided in robin about your major crush on eddie long ago. she had been practically begging you for months now to just tell eddie how you felt. and every time you would respond with the same stupid excuse.

“i cant! what if he doesn’t feel the same? then our friendship will be completely ruined and ill end up being even more miserable then i am now.” robin sighed and rolled her eyes. “you both are absolutely oblivious. it’s so obvious your totally head over heels for each other. literally everyone can see it but you two.” you shook your head.

“robin i just can’t risk it.” you fell backwards into your bed. “besides i wouldn’t know how to even go about asking him out. i mean what am i supposed to say? “hey eddie, just wanted to let you know i’ve been completely and utterly in love with you for three years now. wanna go out?” that sounds fucking insane.” robin tried to stifle a laugh, but failed miserably. you threw one of your pillows at her. “okay! okay! im sorry!” robin put her hands up in a surrendering motion.

“definitely don’t say it like that, but you really should just talk to him. i promise you he feels the same. if im wrong ill cover all of your shifts at family video for an entire month.” you immediately sat up to look at her. “are you seriously trying to bribe me into telling eddie how i feel?” robin shrugged. “is it working?” you couldn’t say it wasn’t. “a little bit..”

“then make it two months. if you tell eddie how you feel and he rejects you, i will cover all of your shifts for two whole months.” robin took two fingers to her chest, crossing her heart. “and what if he doesn’t?” she smirked mischievously. “then you have to take all of my shifts for two months.”

you thought about it for a minute. it was kind of a win-win situation. if you told eddie how you felt and he rejected you, you would have all of your shifts covered for two months. you would be able to hide in your room, away from everyone. especially eddie. but if you told eddie how you felt and he felt the same, you would finally be with eddie. yeah, you’d have to cover robins shifts for two months, but that was a measly price to pay.

you held your hand out to robin. “deal.” she smiled so wide you swore the corners of her mouth almost touched her eyes. “deal.” she said as she shaked your hand. as soon as robin left, a million thoughts raced through your mind. the biggest one being, oh god what did i do.

the next day at school, you were a nervous wreck. you had spent almost the whole night planning what you were going to say to eddie. you practically had the whole speech memorized before you even made it to the school parking lot. you repeated in your head like a mantra throughout the whole day.

you had asked eddie to meet you in the woods after school. he had assumed it was just to smoke a joint as you two did that quite frequently. little did he know, you were about to confess all of your feelings for him you had kept hidden for the past three years.

your heart hammered in your chest as you made your way through the woods. you silently prayed to the universe that this would go as you hoped. you didn’t know what you would do if he rejected you. you didn’t want to even think about it.

as soon as you reached the picnic table, eddie flashed you a toothy smile. “hey sweetheart,” he held up a freshly rolled joint in between his fingers. “you ready to smoke this shit? it’s really strong so you might wanna go easy.” you smiled at him. “actually there’s something i need to talk to you about.” you said as you nervously sat on the edge of the table.

eddie looked concerned. “hey, what’s wrong? are you okay?” he reached across the picnic table, taking your hands in his, rubbing the backs of them with his thumb affectionately. “no no im fine. i just- i need to tell you something.” he stared into your eyes intensely, almost as if he was trying to read your mind. “im listening.”

you took a deep breath, looking down at both of your hands intertwined. it was now or never. “i don’t really know if there’s an easier way to say this so im just going to get right to the point.” you paused, taking the time to try and calm yourself down before you continued. you felt eddie squeeze your hands, encouraging you to go on. it was all you needed to keep going.

“i’ve had feelings for you for a long time now. there’s just something about you that drives me absolutely insane. your just so different from everyone else and i admire that. your so sure of yourself and your so fucking kind and considerate. you always put everyone before yourself. you care so deeply for all of the people in your life. you just have this way of making everyone feel seen. your just so perfect. i never told you how i felt because i was so scared of being rejected. im still fucking terrified-i-you’re my best friend eddie and i don’t know what id do without you because i just love you so much and i totally understand if you don’t feel-“ you were cut off as eddies lips crashed into yours.

you gasped in surprise. though it didn’t take you long to melt into the kiss. the feeling of eddies lips against yours was like pure ecstasy. the way your lips fit perfectly together made you think you were made for each other. the kiss had your toes curling and your chest heaving. it wasn’t until eddie pulled away that you finally looked at him.

his eyes were full of love and pure adoration. “you have no idea how long i’ve been wanting to do that.” he said with the biggest smile you’ve ever seen. “really?” the way you were still unsure of his feelings towards you made eddie chuckle. “yes really. y/n i’ve been in love with you since the day i met you. i just never thought you would ever feel the same.” you giggled. “i guess we’re pretty oblivious aren’t we?” you asked with a smile. “yeah. total idiots.” you both laughed.

you knew you were going to have to take all of robins shifts for the next two months, but you didn’t mind. it was a small price to pay considering you were finally eddies and he was finally yours. nothing could ever ruin that.

[food4dead]

Ive gotta say this out loud somewhere bc it's eating my brain like a worm. I had an off putting and creepy coworker at an old job of mine that i constantly butted heads with. There were rumors that our boss's boss got him the job (turned out to be true) and he was a genuine creep. Specifically to the girls. And incompetent. Like this guy sucked, no one liked him and i was like fucking batman to the other girls that worked there bc if he cornered them either literally or just into a convo, i would descend on him and tell him to fuck off.

He once offered to tie my apron for me. I told him id rather get third degree burns on my chest from steaming milk than have his hands near my ass. A few weeks later he offered to come with me, alone, to the storage room to "help" me get the stuff we needed. I looked down my nose at him and asked him in what way exactly did he think he was going to be helpful in this endeavor, when he couldn't even put away the truck in that same room in under 5 hours? He said nothing and avoided me after that. I talked shit to my partner about him constantly.

Lo and behold, bf gets a job at that same place years later but as a manager. And that guy is still there! So obviously id primed him to expect the worse of this guy and he did for a while. But then, he starts telling me about how that guy's doing at work now.

He's no longer incompetent, and is actually quite helpful. Ok, good, id sure fuckin hope so after being there for 3+ years.

He's not really a creep, he actually keeps to himself most of the time and is polite to everyone he talks to, especially the girls. ...ok, maybe i actually humbled him more than i thought. Also good.

Then, slowly, my partner starts talking about this guy as if they're friends. Telling me about something funny Guy did at work today, how Guy covered the grill so someone else could go on break and it was a huge help, stuff like that. I asked him about it finally and he was like yeah, Guy really isnt that bad. A little awkward sometimes but i guess he's changed since you've known him. I say it's probably just bc you're also a man but whatever it's not like i have to deal with him anymore.

But then. Partner gets invites to dnd with some of his other coworkers, one of them is a dm apparently and wants to set up a campaign with work friends. Partner goes a couple times, establishes that this is actually fun, and invites me to come next time to watch bc that's what i like to do. So i go. And Guy is there.

Apparently he lives here with 2 other roommates, one of them being the dm that organized this. The other being the son of the director that got him his job. (That's how i was able to confirm the rumors) It's almost incomprehensible to me that Guy is living with roomates. Peacefully. But he is. I walk in with Partner and Guy and I make eye contact. We stare at each other for a second before he approaches me. Instantly I'm ready for a fight, like i felt my face flush and got hit with an adrenaline rush.

He offers me his hand, to shake. I never broke eye contact but i took it. He welcomed me to their home. He told us goodbye when we left. And that was it. He had fun during the campaign but wasnt the abrasive and off kilter person i remembered. I was shaken bc i find it hard to believe that ppl can actually change.

I keep going with Partner to these campaigns whenever i can and it becomes increasingly obvious to me that Guy actually has changed. I obviously still make him nervous, though, as he's especially polite and courteous to me when im there. I'll usually bring my switch with me and play while listening to them run their campaign, and Guy offers me his switch charger every time i do so since the first time i accepted the offer. But he actually is polite and helpful and kind and. Not creepy anymore. And i cant wrap my head around how that happened.

I ask Partner about it eventually and he tells me it actually was the way i treated Guy + his job being threatened (for bs work politics reasons) that ironed him out. Im genuinely shocked but accept this answer. I never really think about why Guy was like that in the first place, just accepted he was a cishet man acting like they do.

Now this brings us to the present. I dont remember why but Partner and i were talking about Guy and how much i used to hate him. I wonder out loud, for the first time, why he was like that. Partner drops the bombshell on me that Guy was a FUCKING FARM BOY. HE WAS RAISED ON A RANCH. DOING RANCH WORK WITH HIS BROTHERS. THIS JOB IS BASICALLY HIS FIRST REAL JOB. THAT'S WHY HE DIDNT FUCKING KNOW HOW TO ACT AROUND OTHER PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY WOMEN, IN A SETTING LIKE THAT. HE DIDNT REALIZE HOW MUCH BIGGER HE WAS THAN THE GIRLS THERE AND THAT WHEN HE GOT TOO CLOSE TO THEM TO TALK TO THEM HE WAS LITERALLY BACKING THEM INTO A CORNER AND LOOMING OVER THEM. HE DIDNT REALIZE THAT OFFERING TO TIE MY APRON WOULD COME OFF AS CREEPY. HE WANTED MY FUCKING HELP TO LEARN THE STORAGE ROOM BETTER BC HE KNEW THAT I KNEW IT AND THATS WHY HE ASKED TO COME WITH ME THAT ONE TIME. AND I JUST. I DONT KNOW.

I'm irritated that i didnt catch that but i have reasons to assume the worst of men that i work with. And now im trying to reconcile this new information about Guy with my previous and current image of him as a maladjusted, creepy weeb turned normal guy but still a weeb. The worst part of it all is that my dad was also a farm boy and acted odd and weird when he was a teen/young adult. He's still got weirdo tendencies as an adult. And as soon as Partner told me Guy was raised on a ranch, my brain drew up my mental image of him alongside my dad and started making comparisons.

I just. Dont know how to feel about him still. My inital gut reaction to the guy was "Creepy. Bad. Not safe. Be vigilant." and unfortunately bc of the way i am, it's extremely difficult for me to change or get past my initial read of someone. So whenever i see Guy i still get the initial gut drop feeling but then i have to scoop it out of my intestines and tell it to get a grip. It would have been so much easier if he had just stayed a creep (<- joking). But i am glad he grew as a person and no longer makes his feminine coworkers uncomfortable. But that means now i have to, too. And im just now realizing this is the first time im having to do something like this. I guess that's why i cant stop thinking about it

[hellfirexclub]

You shook me all night long, part 1.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Summary: You agree to be the stand in for Lucas in the campaign and are certainly not expecting to meet someone like Eddie Munson. Pining ensues.

Warnings: This particular part is mostly just fluff, little bit of sexual tension but its obviously gunna get spicy later. Mutual pining, idiots in love, friends to lovers, maybe a bit of slowburn cause I just love the pre confession tension.

Authors Notes: I finally finished this first chapter!! This is the first Eddie piece I started writing and is my baby so I hope you all enjoy. Next chapter is now out!

“Cmon y/n, pleaaaase? No one else will do it.” Dustin was putting it on thick right now, dramatically batting his eyelashes and pouting at you like a lost puppy. You’d only just got in from work when he and Mike practically burst down your door, ranting and raving about how they’ve just been everywhere and everyone was either too busy or uninterested to play dnd with them tonight. And it wasn’t that you didn’t want to play, you loved doing campaigns with them, but you were exhausted after work. You pulled a face that showed you were about to say no, making Mike join in with Dustin’s antics, both of them putting their hands together in a begging motion. You chuckled at their antics and shook your head at them, sighing in defeat.

“Who’s going to be there?” You ask, nervous about the potential of having to meet new people. 

“Just the members of hellfire! They’re great y/n, you’ll love them” Mike chimes in happily, assuring you there’s nothing to be nervous about. 

“…What time?” You ask, resulting in whoops and air pumps from the two boys at having suckered you in. They told you the time and said they’d meet you outside the building, both squeezing you to the bones in a tight hug and then dashing off into the night. You shook your head again and smiled as you watched them disappear into the dark. “These kids will be the death of me.”

You’d met the whole gang through Steve and Robin, who you’d become good buddies with when you moved to Hawkins despite being older than them. You certainly hadn’t expected the upside down and monsters side of moving to a small town and making friends, but the experience gave you a bond with everyone that was unbreakable. The boys knew you were like an older sister, they could come to you for anything and you’d say yes. And that’s what got you in this predicament, standing in front of the mirror to triple check your outfit before leaving so you’re not late. It was a cute but comfortable top and skirt combo, obviously adorned with a bunch of rings and earrings, ripped tights and a pair of creepers. You weren’t exactly a popular girl, you had your own kind of whimsigoth style going for you that some people thought was a bit strange. And sure you’d been called a freak by the likes of the basic jocks and cheerleaders, but a lot of these jocks had also tried to hit on you back in school so what did that tell you. And Steve, ladies man extraordinaire, had been head over heels for you when you’d first met him so you figured you couldn’t be too unfuckable. 

You set off before you could second guess the outfit choice again, noticing that you’d have to speed walk to not be late and hold up the campaign. Mike was waiting outside when you showed up and flashed you a big smile.

“Great y/n good timing, Dustin just went in now to let Eddie know you’re coming. Let’s go!” He said eagerly, tugging on your arm and dragging you inside. You could hear Dustin’s voice echoing in the distance and could just make out the words he was saying.

“We’ve got our sub, Mikes just outside waiting for her now” he said excitedly. “She’s a family friend basically.” 

You heard a second, deeper voice reply in clear shock.

“She?!” 

“Yeah, she’s a great player. I think you guys will really get along” Dustin surmises, leaving Eddie to nod in response. Must be some nerd kid in their class or something, he thought. Well, she’d probably be nice enough.

“We’re here, sorry!” Mike calls as you guys walk up the last stretch of hallway. 

“Good because if you were late and held up this campaign, Wheeler, I’d have-” Eddie stopped in his tracks when he saw you walk in behind Mike, jaw dropping for a moment before he quickly gathered himself and closed his mouth. He looked at you up and down, taking in every detail that was the ethereal beauty of you standing before him. He literally couldn’t believe his eyes, the most smoking hot girl of his dreams had just walked into his game night, wanting to play dnd with him. Just what had Eddie done in a past life to be treated so well. Moreover, how the hell did the kids even know you, you were clearly much older, about his age if he had to guess. 

“Guys this is y/n and she’s about to kick your asses” You give a small twinkly laugh at Mike’s words and smile shyly into the room, saying hello to everyone. Eddie felt a dagger to his heart when you let out that gorgeous laugh, feeling as though he’s in a drunken stupor while he looked at you. He was taken out of his reverie when he noticed the other members had also acknowledged how hot you were, all stealing glances at you while you were introduced to them, at various parts of you that made anger begin to bubble up in his chest. Before he could mull any of it over you and Mike were standing right in front of where he was sitting, and he could see just how pretty you were up close.

“And finally y/n, this is Eddie, our dungeon master.” Mike introduces. You smile at Eddie sweetly, eyes glowing as you reach out a hand to shake his. 

“Hi Eddie, it’s a pleasure to meet you” you say softly. How is her voice so angelic, he thinks to himself as his hand reaches out shakily to meet yours. He feels a shiver run through his body as your fingers meet, a spark flying through his arm at the contact. Your hand lingered on his for just a moment too long and he wondered if you’d felt it too. He prayed you had. 

“Oh I can assure you the pleasure is all mine” he said back to you, a glimmer of tease in his voice that wasn’t unnatural for him, going unnoticed by the boys. But you looked into his lidded eyes deeply, before your eyes shifted down to his lips for the briefest moment. 

“So Eddie, do you accept our offering of substitute?” Dustin asks jokingly, eager to get the game started. Eddie narrows his eyes and smiles a cheeky, shit eating grin at you. He stands from his chair with a slam of his hands into the desk, and walks around it slowly until he was towering over you. You crane your neck and look up at him, not allowing him to intimidate you as his face moves closer to yours. He hates to admit it but his heart is about to beat out of his chest from being so close to you, but he doesn’t let that show through his bad boy act. 

“What’s your class and level? Level one dwarf?” He says teasingly, raising an eyebrow cockily at you. Some of the boys snicker quietly at Eddie’s interrogation. You lick your lips, eyes glinting as you flash him a teasing smile of your own. Eddie swears he dies seeing you look at him like that. 

“I’m a chaotic neutral elf druid, level 13. And whatever monster you throw my way will die a gruesome death of being reclaimed by nature and dragged six feet underground.” Eddie’s eyebrows raised, awed that you actually knew that you were talking about. Fuck you were the perfect woman. “So, are we gonna do this, or are we going to keep chitchatting like this is your mommy’s book club?” You say, cocking your head to the side as the smirk still played on your lips. Eddie smiled, wider and more sincerely than he thinks he has in years. 

“Welcome to hellfire” he breathed, watching you intently as Mike and Dustin cheered and hugged you before leading you to the table. You took one long glance back at Eddie and smiled at him sweetly to show him your thanks before sitting down. Eddie smiled back dreamily, still watching you until Gareth brought him back with a knowing elbow nudge and a chuckle. Holy shit he’s got it bad for you. Eddie nudged Gareth back harder with a laugh and then went to gather his things to start the game. 

God you certainly weren’t expecting this when you were asking to come out tonight. As you entered the room behind Mike, your eyes were drawn to the metalhead that was presently scolding him in a melodically deep voice. He looks up at you and stops his sentence, and you almost melt into a puddle as you get a good look of him. Damn you did not expect one of their nerd friends to be this hot. You noted his long messy hair that framed his face perfectly, his big brown eyes, the sexy rocker outfit, those lips... He was literally gorgeous, your stomach fluttered as you peeled your eyes away from him to be introduced to the members. You felt your face heat up when Mike finally walked you over to the mysterious guy, introducing him as Eddie the dm. You smile sweetly as you greet him, reaching your hand out to shake his and hoping he didn’t hear the nervousness in your voice. His cool rings meet your fingers, big hand gripping yours firmly and sending a sparking surge up your arm. You swallow to dispel the fluttering in your chest. You couldn’t help but look down and admire his hand for a moment, running your eyes over the rings that adorn his fingers before realising you may have been holding his hand for too long and pulling away. He responds to you in a tone that makes you instantly want to hear him whispering sweet nothings into your ears. You watch him carefully, wondering if his teasing tone was anything more than just playful banter. Dustin makes a move to start the game and Eddie stands up, walking around the desk towards you. Your heart was racing as he finally came to stand in front of you, craning your head to look up at him. He’s taller than you thought, and you had to admit him towering over you and leaning down to your face had you feeling flustered. He looked even better up close, his lips were so soft and kissable. Eddie gives a shit eating grin and drops his level one dwarf line, and you can’t help but to smirk and challenge him back. You feel a surge of confidence as you speak, loving the shock and impress you’ve written on the cocky boys features. Mike and Dustin instantly pull you into cheerful hugs when Eddie welcomes you to the club and pull you away to the table. You look back at Eddie once more before you sit down, noticing he was still watching you and send a shy smile his way before averting your eyes back to Dustin. The boys were talking over each other excitedly but you weren’t hearing any words, heart still thumping as you took occasional glances over at Eddie. 

The campaign Eddie had crafted was really incredible, you had to say. You admired his creative talent and his dedication to providing the atmosphere for the game with his theatrics. He had you all fully immersed for hours before the game finally game to an end, with you throwing the fatal roll. Everyone exploded into hollers and cheers, and Eddie jumped back in amused shock, uttering a what?!. 

“That’s why we play!” Eddie exclaims loudly, spreading his arms across the board in a bow towards you. You feel your cheeks heat up again at his movements, giddy from the win and the fact his eyes were still burning into yours, a look you couldn’t quite place on his face. He’d focused on you a lot during the game, throwing a lot of teasing comments and stolen glances your way, all that you assumed was just him testing the newbie. But something in you hoped it was more than just banter.

Everyone started to peel off quickly after the celebration considering how late it was. You saw Eddie had been left by himself to tidy the game away as his friends got their jackets on and left. You took a deep breath and put down your bag, summoning your courage to go up to him. You begin to help him putting the pieces away and he looks up at you with wide eyes and a bashful smile.

“Hey you don’t have to help with that sweetheart” he says kindly, taking the pieces from your hand, to which you shake your head and grab some more. You have to resist squeezing your legs together when you hear him call you sweetheart. 

“Oh it’s okay, it’s not fair that you have to tidy it up alone” you say with a warm smile, putting a hand on his arm reassuringly before going back to tidying. Eddies skin scorches where you touch him, feeling heat creep up his neck and onto his cheeks. He wants to do something crazy, like ask you out or straight up pull you into a kiss, but he convinces himself against it. He’s just Eddie Munson the freak, a girl like you would never be interested in him. Would you? 

“The campaign was amazing by the way. I loved the Vecna plot twist” you tell him, eyes glowing excitedly. Eddies heart swells at your compliments, rubbing the back of his head and laughing bashfully.  

“And you are quite the player, I shouldn’t have underestimated you” he looks at you with his big eyes and you want to melt. 

“Damn right, I told you I’d kill anything you threw at me” you say with a playfully raised eyebrow. 

You bend over the table to retrieve the last piece and carefully plop it in the box, giving Eddie a perfect view of your round ass that he can’t tear his eyes away from. He quickly looks away as you lean back up and give him a triumphant smile. “All done!” Eddie flashes a grin at you, thinking how radiantly cute you looked saying that. 

“Thanks for the help sweetheart, it’s nice to be thought of for once.” Eddie mutters with a wistful smile. He’d just met you and yet you were so kind towards him, how were you this sweet and still talking to him? Eddie grabs his jacket and throws it on before grabbing the game box and motioning in a slight bow towards the door. “After you milady.” You laugh at this, the sound melodic to his ears. You lead him out of the room and Eddie feels his heart begin to speed up as you walk down the hallway together. He didn’t want this night to end with you but how could he ask you to stay and not sound weird? You gotta be cool about it Eddie, just be cool, he thinks to himself nodding his head cooly in reality as he reassures himself. 

He clears his throat and turns to you as you both step outside, making you look up at him with those pretty eyes.

“Hey, you doing anything after this?” He asks casually, flipping his lighter open and lighting a cigarette he’d seemingly pulled out of nowhere. Your eyes linger on his lips wrapped around the cigarette and then his hand pulling it away. You stare entranced at his veins before responding.

“Well it’s 11pm so my only plans are going home and falling asleep in front of the tv. Why, you got a plan?” You ask, eyes glinting as you waiting for his next words. 

“Well if you want we can head back to my place, I live with my uncle but he works nights so we got it to ourselves. I can play you some of the records I told you about earlier” he says cooly, trying to disguise the nervousness he really felt. You beamed at this and he let out a quiet sigh of relief through his nose.

“Yeah I’d love that!” you say more eagerly then you’d have liked. Despite how nice he actually was Eddie still had an intimating persona and you wanted him to think you were cool too, not a desperate little groupie. 

“Sweet” he says before taking a long drag of his cigarette. He holds in your direction as he exhales and nods towards you, silently asking if you’d like any. You happily oblige and take the cigarette from his fingers, tingling where yours brush against his. “I’ve got one stop I need to make first but it’s on the way” he says, checking the watch on his wrist and grimacing at the time. “Aaand I’m actually already late for it so chop chop” he says ushering you towards his van and into the front seat.

“What’s the stop?” You asks curiously, flicking the remnants of the cigarette on the floor and slamming the door shut. 

“I- well, it’s uh” Eddie stops in his tracks, unsure if he should mention it’s to drop off some drugs to a client. He doesn’t want to scare you off if you’re not into that, he can’t blow it with you already. You laugh playfully at the gibberish he spat out, raising a questioning eyebrow at him to continue. Fuck it, he wasn’t going to lie to you.

“I’m going to drop off some weed to a client” he confesses slowly, smiling at you nervously as he gauges your reaction. 

“You’re a dealer??” you quickly respond, whipping your head round to look at him. He swallows hard at your question and nods carefully, noting the octave your voice had just raised. Shit he’s blown it. Suddenly you smile widely and grab his arm. “Eddie you are a lifesaver!” He blinks at you in confusion and you can’t help but chuckle at his deer in the headlights expression. “I’ve been looking for a new dealer since my last guy skipped town” you explain, chuckling at the relief that washes over his features. “I haven’t smoked in three weeks Eddie. Three weeks!” you say, dramatically throwing your hand up to your forehead. Eddie laughs at your antics and shakes his head to himself, awed once again by how perfect you are for him. He had to make you his, whatever it takes.

“Well don’t worry sweetheart, I think I can help you out” he says with a chuckle, reaching an arm into his backseat and rummaging around before throwing a baggie into your lap. “That ones free of charge, call it a friends discount” he says with a wink, swiping his tongue over his lip in a way that makes you desperate to kiss him. 

“Are you sure?” you say wide eyed, smiling gratefully at him but not wanting him to feel like he ought to. 

“I insist” Eddie says, putting his palm up to reject the very notion. 

“Thanks Eddie” you say, smiling widely at him. “I’ll roll you a joint when we get to yours, to call it even” you say with a playful smile and a nudge to his arm.

“Sounds good to me” he replies with a warm smile. 

The rest of the drive had you and Eddie discover more miscellaneous things you like in common, bands, books, movies, shows. It just made Eddie fall for you harder, wanting to hear everything about you. He’d never felt so close to someone this quickly, so comforted and safe in your presence. It was something he wasn't used to, but this small inclination of what it’s like made his heart ache for it. Eddie discretely parks down the road from the house he was going to, reaching his hand back into the back of his van again. His tongue pokes out of his mouth as he concentrates on finding something in the most adorable look you’d ever seen. He exclaims an ‘aha!’ as he pulls out a metal tin, flashing you a big smile before saying he’d be back in a second. You watch as Eddie strides off, admiring his retreating figure. You take this moment alone to let out a dreamy sigh, your stomach doing backflips. You were falling for this guy fast, he was just so sweet and so fucking hot, what’s a girl to do? Before you could blink Eddie was back again, a bemused look on his face. 

“All okay?” You ask, concerned the dealing may have gone awry.

“Oh yeah, yeah” he says shaking his head and smiling at you. “Just, I don’t know, I feel like there’s something weird going on with that girl. I had this like, bad feeling.” Eddie takes one last look at the house and lets out a dramatic shudder before turning his keys and slamming on the gas. With one hand on the wheel Eddie precariously flips through some tapes before settling on some Ozzy and putting it on. You both sing your hearts out to crazy train as you make the quick journey to his uncles trailer. Eddie jumps out of the van and turns to you, throwing his arm up towards the trailer.

“Welcome to my lair” he says with a smirk. Eddie leads the way into the trailer and through to his bedroom, which you step into with childish wonder. You look around the room at all his things while he throws his jacket off and grabs a box from under his table.

“This is exactly what I’d imagined your bedroom would look like” you say with a laugh. Eddie plonks himself down on the edge of his bed and raises his eyebrows with a grin.

“You’ve imagined being in my bedroom huh?” He says, tongue flitting over his lip as he teases you. This gets your heart racing again, looking up at the boy to roll your eyes playfully. Eddie busies himself with rolling a joint as you snoop around his room before coming to sit beside him, close enough that your thigh is almost touching his. Eddie looks down at your bare thighs and almost stops breathing at the contact, his hands itching to reach out and feel how soft they are. 

“You play?” you ask him, nodding towards his guitar. Eddie takes a moment to register what you said, pushing his thoughts of you to the back of his head and clearing his throat.

“Yeah I’m in a band actually. Corroded coffin, you should come see us play!” He says excitedly. “We play at the hideout on Tuesdays. We actually get a crowd... of about five drunks” he finishes, flashing you a sheepish smile. You laugh, nose scrunching up adorably.

“I bet you’re incredible” you say sincerely, making Eddies heart flutter with pride. “Will you play me something?” you ask with doe eyes. He hides his mouth with his hair and smiles shyly at you, peeking over his hand. 

“Okay, okay if you insist” he says waving a hand and grinning cheekily at you. Eddie licks his lips as he grabs his guitar, pressing a kiss from his fingers to the strings before swinging it over his chest. He plugs it in and wiggles his eyebrows at you before he begins to play, the beginning of master of puppets, you note with excitement. You stare at Eddie’s fingers as he plays, entranced by how fast they move across the guitar and how good they look doing it. Your mind drifts to the other things he could do with such fast, talented fingers. You swallow as you try to look away into his eyes, which were shut as he concentrated on his playing. You nod your head to the music, unable to keep your eyes from going back to his hands since he was too preoccupied to notice. You stare at those damn rings adorning his fingers, looking so fucking hot on him. You just wanted his fingers inside you, bad, and you bite your lip as your mind begins to wonder. You hear Eddie laugh and your eyes shoot up, noticing he had been watching you watch him. You smile innocently as you keep your head nodding, hoping he just thought you were enamoured by his talent and watching how he plays, not the real filth you were entertaining. Eddie ends his riff with a flourish and a bow, and you laugh and clap loudly for him. 

“See I knew it, that was so fucking good!” you say as Eddie smiles bashfully and hangs his guitar back up. 

“Oh you flatter me” he said with a joking wave of his arm, cheeks tinged pink from your compliments. 

“No seriously, you were amazing” you say genuinely, making Eddies heart race. He smiles to himself softly, chest tightening in emotion from how unused he was to hearing so much praise towards him. 

“Thank you” Eddie turns back to you and says bashfully, his eyes soft as he looks at you. He moves to sit back next to you, making sure he was close enough for his leg to be touching yours again, wanting the contact back. You notice this and breathe deeply, wondering if he did it purposely. No, he was just sitting next to you, you can’t start reading into things and embarrass yourself. Eddie moves to finish the half rolled joint but is interrupted by you sliding it across the table in front of you. He raises his eyebrows in amusement and you give him a smirk.

“The deal was that I’d roll you one” you say playfully, reminding him of what you’d said in the car. Eddie moves to his cassettes, flipping through them to find some music to vibe to while you guys smoke. Eddie steals a glance over at you, admiring how cute you looked concentrating on rolling the joint. You catch Eddies eyes as you’re licking the paper, and his breathing gets a little heavier as he imagines that tongue on him instead of the rizla. You innocently flash him a smile as you seal the joint and hold it up triumphantly, and he wonders how you can be so sexy and so cute at the same time. He fingers stop leafing through his cassettes when he comes across ‘photograph’ by def leppard, thinking how fitting the song was for how he was feeling about you. He wasn’t usually into the more tame and romantic glam-rock songs, distancing himself from things that would inevitably make him think of love, as he thought it wasn’t something that was attainable for him. But with his heart racing as you were sat beautifully over on his bed, sparking up the joint with a look of contentment, he was urged to put it on and hope it wasn’t too on the nose. You start bopping your head to the music as Eddie comes back to join you, passing him the joint you’d rolled for him. He turned it over in his hand as if inspecting it with his hand thoughtfully rubbing his chin, doing an act of checking it was ‘up to standards’ for him. You roll your eyes with a laugh and elbow his side gently as he throws you his usual shit eating grin. 

“If you don’t want it I’ll take it back Munson” you warn playfully, smirking back at him. 

“No, no, everything looks good here” he plays back cockily, “You don’t have to demote me to Munson” he says, a hint of pleading in his tone, elbowing you back just so he could get to touch your side. 

You and Eddie mellow out beside each other as you smoke, talking and getting to know more about each others lives until you’d progressively gotten high enough to both be giggling and singing way too loudly to his songs. 

“You sound really pretty when you sing you know” Eddie says, chin resting on his hand and a dreamy haze in his eyes that you mistook as a high gaze. You get shy at his words and give him a small smile, shaking your head. Eddie grabs your shoulders gently, eyes wide and on fire as he looks at you. “You do! Oh my god you should totally sing with my band sometime!” he says quickly, mouth agape in the shock of how good his own idea was. You chuckle at his expression, finding him being so energetic and excitable when he’s high really cute. 

“I don’t really sing in front of people” you say shyly, but appreciative of his praise and really loving the idea of getting to see him at band practise. 

“That’s okay, you can just sing for me then” he says gently, and your heart races at his words. What did he mean by that? Was that a flirt or is he just being more forward because he’s high and more comfortable with you? You didn’t have time to mull it over more because Eddie had pulled out the weed box back out with a cheeky grin. “Round two?” You give him a look of ‘of course’ and he chuckles and starts to roll another two. Your eyes drift to his hands again and Eddie notices this and wonders about it, having recalled that you also were staring intently at them during dnd and when he played guitar. He’d thought nothing of it at the time, assuming you must have been watching how he plays, but he wonders now that you’re doing it again if you actually… liked the way they looked. He tests this theory by pushing up the sleeves of his top up to his elbows, exposing his forearms and delicately making the veins in his hands dance as he rolled. Your eyes follow his hands up his arms and back down again, clearly lost in your own thoughts, and Eddie wasn’t sure how to interpret it. She’s just high man, don’t get ahead of yourself, he tells himself. But he can’t help the flutter of butterflies in his stomach that maybe, possibly, you were attracted to him too. Eddie finishes up rolling and suggests you guys go hang out in the living room, put on a movie on or something. You take charge of picking something while Eddie prepares some microwave popcorn for the two of you, settling on the evil dead. Eddie says an appreciative ‘nice’ when he sees what you’ve picked, settling down next to you and throwing a blanket over you both before putting down the popcorn and an ashtray. 

“Just so you know I’ll probably leave before this finishes, otherwise I’ll be shattered for work” you let him know, making Eddies heart sting as he realises the time. He still doesn’t want to let this night end, he doesn’t want you to leave him. When would the next time he’d even see you be? Eddie couldn’t wait until whenever the next hellfire club meeting would be to be in your company.

“Hey you can crash here for the night, it’s close to your work right? I can’t let a lady go out into the dead of night alone, and I don’t think I could drive you right now” Eddie chuckles, motioning to the lit joint. Your senses fill with relief at his words, not actually wanting to leave at all, but you had to put it out there in case he thought it was weird how long you’d stayed. And he was such a gentleman about it, but you had to feign indifference so as not to seem too excited. 

“Are you sure Eddie? That’s so sweet of you” you ask, smiling at him brightly. 

“Yeah it’s no problem at all” he says, throwing you a toothy smile. It was also past 1am now and you were exhausted, so you were glad to be able to lean back into the sofa and properly wind down now. “I’m going to change, you want some comfy clothes?” Eddie asks you as he gets up and walks towards his room. 

“Oh yes please” you respond happily, a yawn creeping over your features. Eddie wanders into his room and throws on the pjs he’d left on his bed, and then begins to dig through his wardrobe in search of something in particular. He mutters an ‘aha’ to himself as he pulls out the top, his spare hellfire shirt he had ready in case of new recruits. He desperately wanted to see you in it, and considering you were now a part of the club it was actually yours now as well so it seemed natural for him to hand it to you. He pulled out some of the smallest shorts he had, hoping they’d fit you, and nodded to himself in satisfaction. Eddie comes back in wearing a worn band shirt and some star wars pj trousers, no rings or any accessories anymore you note sadly but that was made up for in the fact you could just make out his bulge through the thin trousers. He clearly wasn’t wearing his boxers anymore, and you were very appreciative of the sight. You train your eyes on his so as not to be obvious as he throws you some clothes, gasping gleefully when you see a hellfire shirt and holding it over your body while he chuckled. 

“Sorry, we don’t have any smaller sizes so it’ll be quite big on you” he says as he notices just holding it up it reaches your thighs. “But now you’re officially a member of the club, you need your own shirt” he says, giddy at his words. Yes you, the prettiest girl on earth, was a member of his club. He still couldn’t wrap his head around that, that any of this night had happened at all. You laugh and tell him its okay as you wander of to his bedroom yourself to change, Eddies mind occupied only by the thought of you being half naked in his room. God he wishes he could get to see such a beautiful sight as that. He almost stops breathing when you come back into the room, actually choking a little on the smoke as he inhaled, and trying to pass it off as a cough. If he thought you looked hot before, seeing you in the hellfire shirt, that could easily pass as his one, was making him actually lose his mind. It was big enough to fall around the tops of your thighs, the shorts only peaking out the tiniest bit so in certain angles it looked like you were only wearing the top.

“What do you think!” You ask him, giggling in excitement as you give him a twirl. Eddie can barely form a coherent sentence, wide eyes flicking between your eyes, the shirt and your thighs. He stutters out that you look great, it suits you, smiling at you widely as he tries to compose himself. You’d taken your bra of, he can see this now that you’re closer because through the white of the top he can just about see your nipples. Eddies cheeks go scarlet at this and he turns away, trying to remain cool and quell the desire that was starting to burn up in his stomach. He turned his attention back to the horror film, watching it in an attempt to stop himself from awkwardly getting hard. God he didn’t want you to think he was some pervert but holy fuck did you look good. 

As the movie neared its end Eddie felt your head lightly rest on his shoulder, looking down to see you yawning softly with heavy eyes. You looked so precious like this, he couldn’t not gently wrap his arm around yours to hold you against him. You make a ‘mm’ sound in response to this, nuzzling your face into his chest some more in your tired state, making Eddie feel like he was alight with joy. He didn’t want to move at all, to let you fall asleep on his chest and then fall asleep with you, snuggled up in perfect harmony. He looks down at you, admiring your features properly now that your eyes were closed, smiling to himself as his eyes run over the cute little freckles over your nose, and your soft, pouted lips. You were just so beautiful, his heart beat wildly in his chest as he watched your mouth fall open slightly, breathing getting softer as you fall asleep. When he was sure you’d been asleep for a couple of minutes, he very carefully lifted his hand to tuck your hair behind your ear, and then gently cupped your cheek, breathing deeply as he felt the softness of your face. He held his breath when his fingers ghosted over your soft lips, the desire to kiss you burning him up on the spot. He was smitten, obsessed, in awe by you, whatever this was he had never felt so strongly about someone before. His stomach was full of butterflies as though he was a little kid with a crush and he wanted nothing more than to be in your company. Eddie felt so content, so safe with you in his arms, his own eyes eventually starting to drift shut, and his breathing shallowed as he fell asleep beside you.

[korkiekenobiconfirmed]

Sidelines are for sports games, not characters of color

I want to address the somewhat awful job ST has done with its POC characters not just in Vol 2, but over the course of the show. I've done a similar post talking about the queer rep in the show if you want to check that out.

I'm gonna start with Lucas, who's been sidelined from the beginning. I get this is rural Indiana in the 80's and you wouldn't expect a whole ton of POC characters fine fine fine whatever. But if you're going to include exactly one (1) POC main, you better hope to god you do a good job with that character. Look at S1 -- Will was central to the plot in a major way (duh), Mike was huge in pushing everyone to find Will and was well-defined by his close relationship with him, and Dustin's intelligence set him apart even in a group full of so-called nerds. What did Lucas get to distinguish him in any particular way? Nothing much. Even moving into S2 his character remained distinctly less fleshed out than the others

One part of S1 I did very much like, however, was this scene. I thought it was a great way to address the kind of casual racism that people who grow up with privilege can often display, even unintentionally.

Mike and Lucas had both showed up to school dressed as the ghostbuster Venkman and Mike tried to argue that Lucas should be Winston Zeddemore. Lucas pointed out that Mike only said that because Zeddemore was black, and he didn't want to be Zeddemore because he, like so many black characters in film, wasn't as interesting or influential as many of the white mains.

Ironically, a similar fate ended up befalling Lucas. He began to be drawn more into the spotlight in S2 and S3, but it was more in reference to his relationship with Max than anything else. Listen, I love Lumax (their relationship outclasses Mileven by a mile, argue with the wall) but Lucas needing a relationship with a white character in order to gain real traction within the show and the fandom is pretty fucking shitty.

S4 finally put Lucas' character on par with the others in terms of screentime, lines, and fandom attention, and the Duffers managed this oh-so-impressive feat through the power of... basketball. Come on, I mean really?

Yes, from what we've seen basketball is the fastest path to popularity in Hawkins High (Steve, Billy, Tommy H, Jason) but to make the only black character suddenly a basketball star when he's shown zero interest or athletic ability up until now... it doesn't sit right with me, let's put it that way.

Erica falls into similar black stereotyping as Lucas. We see little development for her over the seasons and from the first moment she's on-screen she's very much the Sassy Black Girl. There's nothing wrong with characters displaying stereotyped traits as long as you can give them other characteristics that define them beyond the typical fallbacks. If your character is essentially reduced to that stereotype, however, it's a problem. All we know of Erica, beyond her never-ending supply of clapbacks and sarcasm, is that she likes DND and My Little Pony. 90% of her lines are full of sass, no matter who she's talking to, and while it's entertaining at times (her calling Murray a bald bastard was funny as hell lmaoo) it can quickly get old. Erica's not the worst black rep I've ever seen, not by a long shot, but the Duffers definitely could've done better with her.

[Having the only black female character also be a staunchly avowed capitalist feels a little weird to me, but I honestly don't have a way to properly articulate why so I'm not going to go into that rn. Maybe in a later post.]

Watching Vol 2 was a crazy fucking experience for a lot of reasons, but watching Jason and his little basketball cult fully beat up black kids significantly younger than them was... really something. A mostly-grown guy full on rugby tackling a middle school girl with aggression that far outweighed the situation...

You can't tell me there wasn't racial motivation there, but the situation really wasn't handled that way on-screen. It wasn't filmed to really make the audience think about the kind of aggressions (micro or otherwise) that black kids in bumfuck Indiana would experience. It wasn't addressed as racially-motivated. It wasn't addressed at all, actually. Thanks to the racist implications of that moment (and, in fact, the racist implications of Jason's entire attitude towards Lucas & Erica) never being addressed ever, the whole scene came across as more gratuitous violence than anything. I'm not saying the show needs to hold the audience's hand and look in their eyes and spell out J-A-S-O-N = R-A-C-I-S-T, but the S1 Zeddemore scene proved there are ways to intertwine talks about racism into the script, ways to address problems like xenophobia without making it stilted or shoehorned in.

When you show the brutal beating of black children and then move on too quickly for the audience to fully process what happened, it takes away from the heavier implications of such violence.

Moving on from the Sinclairs, we have Kali.

I liked her character very much, I'm going to be honest. The way she embodied El's angrier, more violent inner voices, with El's return to Hawkins representing her turning her back on that side of her while never truly facing up to it, made her an excellent lens for the audience to see more of El than what we got in S1.

But brown women in media too-often fall into one of two categories.

the docile, meek woman who comes from a patriarchal culture and will always defer to the men in her life, even when it goes against her own desires and dreams

The angry, probably violent woman who rages against the world because she has been wronged in the past

Again, a brown character being one of these two things isn't necessarily bad, but when we're left room for little else around all the resentment Kali's built up? When there's almost no middle ground between the two extremes?? Let's not rely on the old stereotypes over and over and over again, please.

...

...Did someone say stereotypes? Oh hang on wait it looks like we have another one. I once again feel the need to establish that this is not hate on the character himself, Argyle was legitimately one of the best parts of the California group and I love him with my whole entire heart (& also Eduardo Franco deserves so much better from this shitty fandom).

But the first Latine character on the show being a stoner? That's the best y'all could come up with?? Argyle was funny, he was useful to the plot, and he was a nice foil for the often-serious characters he's surrounded by, but all that being said, I couldn't quite get rid of the nagging irk in the back of my mind every time he was on screen because the stoner Latine character??? At this point, all the blatantly stereotyped characters just make this shit boring and predictable. I don't even have anything new to say about Argyle because it's nothing I didn't just address in terms of Erica, Lucas & Kali.

I feel like the treatment of ST's queer and POC characters is definitely different. We see constant abuse and mistreatment of queer characters without getting any outwardly, happily-queer endings for them; with the POC characters it strikes me more as the typical sidelining and stereotyping that we see in a lot of mainstream media. I'm not going to sit here and argue over which is worse or which is more harmful to audiences, they're both shitty and I'm tired of it all.

Do better.

[theregoesmylurkerstatus]

So... I have a lot of thoughts on the finale. I've deliberately kept my mouth shut, more or less, on the campaign overall because I'm a firm believer that you can't pass judgement -- at least not complete judgement -- on stories until they're over and done with.

Well, it's done! Kind of crazy. I've been watching Critical Role with almost insane consistency, viewing almost every single episode live, with maybe five-ish exceptions, since episode 19, and I've been blogging it for, what, two and a half years?

It's a weird feeling. It's been such a constant thing for me that I'm always gonna have love for it and remember with a lot of fondness.

...Which is in spite of the fact that I can now comfortably say I'm pretty eh on the ending. I know not being positive about something most of us have loved a lot for a very long time can sting a bit, but I personally think it also stings when people relentlessly crow over how good they think it is or want it to be, to the point where you feel you can't voice your absolutely valid upsets or dissatisfactions. So, here goes, if anyone's interested! I'd be curious to see other opinions, too!

I actually drafted a post talking about my overall frustrations with the campaign a whole two weeks ago, and then scrapped most of it when 140 blew me out of the water. I was really touched, and really happy. I hadn't expected it, but it shockingly felt right, you know?

Unfortunately 141 robbed me of most of that satisfaction and brought me right back to neutral.

The blanket statement you have to make, of course, is that you can’t criticise this as a DnD game, and you can’t be mad at the cast for playing it in a way they think is best for them. They’re the players, Matt’s the DM, and in the end it makes no sense for them to try to make themselves act how they think the audience wants them to, and I’m sure most of the audience wouldn’t like the result anyway.

That said, there is an audience. And that’s where I see this clash coming in. As a DnD game, as long as the players and DM have all enjoyed it and been satisfied, it’s a successful game! But for us, it’s not a DnD game. For us, we’re watching a story be written in real time through the medium of an RPG. And while as a DnD game you can’t fault it, as a piece of media, I completely get why the way things have gone has sat weirdly for a lot of people.

It's not satisfying to see so many character hooks dealt with so quickly or left as an offscreen "and then you do it." If they don't want to keep playing to dive into it, absolutely, but for us who have been watching this as a story with all these character elements get so built up, it's a huge anti-climax.

Which is a lot of what this campaign has been, really.

Oh, Nott’s cursed! But through a really cool character moment that problem is completely taken care of with no consequences we see. Yay, I want her to be Veth and that was an iconic move from Jester! Still, it kind of feels like this was built up to be a big problem and at the first success it was let go... Caleb's got a really intense frightening past he tries to hide, I wonder how the Mighty Nein will respond? Oh, they found out, but it's not a difficult revelation for anyone. Looks like it's easy for them to move past it and forgive. Yeah, that's healthiest for the characters, but huh, kinda undercuts it as a storyline or point of interest. Oooh, Avantika’s back! Ah, they’ve killed her and grabbed the eye again. I mean I don’t want them to die or for Uk’otoa to be free, but I’m starting to feel like that’s not much of a threat anyway. The Traveler’s been kidnapped! Nah he hasn’t, he tried to save Jester so he was let go with no further issue, and also he wasn’t actually in any danger anyway. Oh... Cool. So... Why should I care or be worried?

And these are just the biggest ones I remember being kind of let down by. I wanted to see them STRUGGLE for the successes to have meaning. To my view, threats of failure -- real failure -- really decreased the more the campaign went on, with a few exceptions.

Because don't get me wrong, we've definitely had struggles, and those have made for some of the best moments! Molly’s death, Yasha’s kidnapping, Yeza’s imprisonment. When failures that were threatened are allowed to occur, it’s far more gratifying when it’s followed by success, because you understand that that success was actually necessary. It shows us that what they do really means something.

Honestly, that's why the final battle really shut me up, because nothing makes you quite feel stakes and failure like having two PCs die, and having a resurrection ritual fail -- AND knowing that failure would be delivered on, had it not been for a seemingly miraculous roll of the dice to turn it around. One of the greatest failure's -- Molly's death -- made the success of his resurrection put a lot of my other issues to rest immediately, because to be honest? Molly's resurrection was the biggest success of the campaign, exactly because it was originally the biggest failure.

But this episode, we got to see the other side of making threats and successes feel disappointing -- when you get the impression that success was robbed from you. Again, their characters, their choices, but to have them roll an intervention to get Molly's soul, to convince Molly to come back with his own possessions they've so loved, after so long and so many struggles... only to apparently not get Molly at all?

Changed, of course. Memories, maybe he'd never get them back, though that seems inconsistent to how the initial resurrection was played and Matt's hints. It even makes sense that not having his memories and being a bit different, he might forge a new identity, but insisting Molly was a different person entirely after such a supposed hard won success to get Molly back, especially after what his death meant to the audience and potentially healing that old wound? It robs the narrative of a LOT of catharsis, at least for me and I know many others.

Trent, too, I'm very up and down on. He was so built up -- and what fun that build up had -- and I very much disagreed with the idea that the best story would be dealing with him offscreen.

It's true that you don’t need to explicitly address, confront, or explore every big aspect of character's story hooks and background ties for PCs to move past them and grow healthily. But that does not make it a satisfying viewing experience. People quietly healing in real life is healthy. People quietly healing in an explosive fantasy setting is frustrating for the audience.

What on earth is the point of a story if you don’t get to SEE THE ESTABLISHED CONFLICTS go anywhere? A lot of the characters got distant, quiet resolutions, if that, to everything we wanted to see.

Except, we did get to see Trent. It was a really fun, inventive battle, from opening to conclusion, but much like Travelercon, much like Nott's/Veth's problem with the hag, these were things that the audience in general wanted to see be really dug into and explored, and every single one of them got, in my opinion, quickly tidied up instead. Trent got beaten in the first and only proper battle they had with him, which, after all his build up, is pretty disappointing for a villain many of us wanted to see be a big deal. It really just felt like they were trying to tidy up to get on with the epilogue, which is not what a lot of us were looking for with Trent especially.

And that's how most of their endings felt to me. It didn't feel like any of them had reached a comfortable conclusion. Literally all of them, bar Veth and Caduceus, continued on their character journey threads, without each other and very quickly. Meeting Yasha's tribe and Vandran, Caleb finally openly debating changing time for his parents, Trent and Zeenoth's trials and the changing of the guard at the Assembly... All were things it would have been so fun to have all the PCs react to and explore together, and instead they were fleeting encounters in the latter half of a seven hour finale.

Is all this, from Molly not really coming back to Trent being a finale side plot to the Nein continuing on their individual journeys, potentially realistic to how these fantastical things might go down in real life? Sure! But that's not necessarily a good thing.

Stories THRIVE on conflict and resolution. That’s what makes them FUN! Conflict isn’t nearly so fun in real life and resolutions are often frustrating question marks, so no, past a certain point I don’t WANT stories to be realistic. I want stories to be SATISFYING.

And campaign 2 has fallen far short of the mark.

I haven’t spoken... Basically a word of this for most of the campaign, because as I said I’m a firm believer that you can’t necessarily judge something until it’s over, and because I ALSO firmly believe that being negative WHILE trying to enjoy something is counterproductive. I have had no interest in spoiling or naysaying the fun of the campaign for anyone, least of all myself.

But it's done now, and all I can say is... I really have had fun. I love the characters. I love their relationships. I’m pretty okay with where they’ve ended up. I’m not mad, really, and I’m still going to think of this campaign with a lot of affection. But it hasn’t been a satisfying story, even though for a week following episode 140 I thought, despite all the brushed over story threads, it might be.

So... to try and reclaim some of that satisfaction for myself, I might ignore some aspects of the finale proper. Namely Kingsley specifically. Taliesin's choice -- but to me, it's pretty clear that who we saw at the end of 140 was Molly, and the tags on my posts will reflect that, just as my 141 tags will be for both Kingsley and Molly, for clarity's sake. I personally want to believe Molly did come back, however others might want to interpret it. The victory in 140 that meant so much to me is hollow otherwise, and it just kind of hurts that we would lose Molly after everything. I was okay with him being dead -- I'm not so okay with his resurrection being stolen.

Kingsley will always be canon, but Molly is what I choose to acknowledge. I get if you don't like that take, and that's okay! I didn't care for canon's in the end. That's the good thing about storytelling, is that no one can stop you from making your own versions.

For the people who are hopefully hyped for campaign 3, heck yeah have fun! I’m on the fence. My investment, which... I think I can objectively say was pretty substantive as this blog will attest, doesn't feel rewarded, so I’m not convinced I can faithfully keep up for over three years all over again with a strong possibility that I will once again be left disappointed. It's been a huge chunk of my life, and... yeah!

I’ll take a break, probably, view (and liveblog, if people want!) campaign 1 when I’ve had a mental stretch and vacation, and then... I might start campaign 3. I definitely won’t be able to put the same time in it I did campaign 2 (my first love no matter what), knowing that it’s likely to not be so vindicated, in the end.

I swear I’m actually writing this in fairly good humour, but I totally get its always disappointing when the people you come to for fandom enjoyment just aren't sharing your fun. Honestly I’m half tempted to write all those frigging AUs I have sitting around! But I wanted to say my piece, and try and logically outline why this ending has been lacklustre for so many people, ultimately myself included.

Episode 140 felt right because it felt like a natural conclusion -- these disparate people coming together and finally being whole, finally soothing the hurt that MADE them so long ago. Episode 141 spat on that sentiment -- they all scattered to the winds, not as happy people to live out their dreams, but as confused people chasing up loose threads towards an unknown future, with the friend they thought returned still lost to them, ultimately.

It doesn't feel like the ending we should have gotten for the Mighty Nine, who were finally, finally all together. Until they weren't. So to me? I choose to acknowledge that they were, even if I have to force it to happen post-epilogue in my head.

[supercantaloupe]

okay yeah actually, i’ll bite. i’ve got some of my own thoughts about the unsleeping city and cultural representation and i’m gonna make a post about them now, i guess. i’ll put it under a cut though because this post is gonna be long.

i wanna start by saying i love dimension 20 and i really really enjoy the unsleeping city. i look forward to watching new episodes every week, and getting hooked on d20 as a whole last summer really helped pull me out of a pandemic depression, and i’m grateful to have this cool show to be excited about and interested in and to have met so many cool people to talk about it with.

that being said, however, i think there is a risk run in representing any group of people/their culture when you have the kind of setting that tuc has. by which i mean, tuc is set in a real world with real people and real human cultures in it. unlike fantasy high or a crown of candy where everything is made up (even if rooted in real-world cultures), tuc is explicitly rooted in reality, and all of its diversity -- both the ups and downs that go with it. and especially set in new york of all places, one of the most densely, diversely populated cities on earth. the cast is 7 people; it’s great that those 7 people come from a variety of backgrounds and identities and all bring their own unique perspectives to the table, and it’s great that those people and the entire crew are generally conscious of themselves and desire to tell stories/represent perspectives ethically. but you simply cannot authentically represent every culture or every perspective in the world (or even just in a city) when your cast is 7 people. it’s an impossible task. this is inherent to the setting, and acknowledged by the cast, and by brennan especially, who has been on record saying how one of the exciting aspects of doing a campaign set in nyc is its diversity, the fact that no two new yorkers have the same perspective of new york. i think that’s a good thing -- but it does have its challenges too, clearly.

i’m not going to go into detail on the question of whether or not tuc’s presentation of asian and asian american culture is appropriative/offensive or not. first of all, i don’t feel like it’s 100% fair to judge the show completely yet, since it’s a prerecorded season and currently airing midseason, so i don’t yet know how things wrap up. secondly, i’m not asian or asian american. i can have my own opinions on that content in the show, but i think it’s worth more to hear actual asian and asian american voices on this specific aspect of the show. having an asian american cast member doesn’t automatically absolve the show of any criticisms with regard to asian american cultural representation/appropriation, whether those criticisms are made by dozens of viewers or only a handful of them. regardless, i don’t think it’s my place as someone who is not asian to speak with any authority on that issue, and i know for a fact that there are asian american viewers sharing their own opinions. their thoughts in this instance hold more water than mine, i think.

what i will comment on in more depth, though, is a personal frustration with tuc. i’m jewish; i’ve never really been shy about that fact on my page here. i’m not from new york, but i visit a few times a year (or i did before covid anyway, lol), and i have some family from nyc. nyc, to me, is a jewish city. and for good reason, since it’s home to one of the largest jewish populations of the country, and even the world, and aspects of jewish culture (including culinary, like bagels and pastrami, and linguistic, like the common use of yiddish words and phrases in english colloquial speech) are prevalent and celebrated among jews and goyim alike. when i think of nyc, i think of a jewish city; that’s not everybody’s new york, but that’s my new york, and thats plenty of other people’s new york too. so i do find myself slightly disappointed or frustrated in tuc for its, in my opinion, rather stark lack of jewish representation.

now, i’m not saying that one of the PCs should have been jewish, full stop. i love to headcanon iga as jewish even though canon does not support that interpretation, and i’m fine with that. she’s not my character. it’s possible that simply no one thought of playing a jewish character, i dunno. but also, and i can’t be sure about this, i’m willing to bet that none of the players really wanted to play a jewish character because they didn’t want to play a character of a marginalized culture they dont belong to in the interest of avoiding stereotyping or offensive representation/cultural appropriation. (i don’t know if any of the cast members are jewish, but i’m assuming not.) and the concern there is certainly appreciated; there’s not a ton of mainstream jewish rep out there, and often what we get is either “unlikeable overly conservative hassidic jew” or “jokes about their bar mitzvah/one-off joke about hanukkah and then their jewishness is never mentioned ever again,” which sucks. it would be really cool to see some more good casual jewish rep in a well-rounded, three-dimensional character in the main cast of a show! even if there are a couple of stumbles along the way -- nobody is perfect and no two jews have the same level of knowledge, dedication, and adherence to their culture.

but at the same time, i look at characters like iga and i really do long for a jewish character to be there. siobhan isn’t polish, yet she’s playing a characters whose identity as a polish immigrant to new york is very central to her story and arc. and part of me wonders why we can’t have the same for a jewish character. if not a PC, then why not an NPC? again, i’m jewish, and i am not native, but in my opinion i think the inclusion of jj is wonderful -- i think there are even fewer native main characters in mainstream media than there are jewish ones, and it’s great to see a native character who is both in touch with their culture as well as not being defined solely by their native-ness. to what extent does it count as ‘appropriative’ because brennan is a white dude? i dunno, but i’m like 99% sure they talked to sensitivity consultants to make sure the representation was as ethical as they could get it, and anyway, i can’t personally see and glaring missteps so far. but again, i’m not native, and if there are native viewers with their own opinions on jj, i’d be really interested in hearing them.

but getting back to the relative lack of jewish representation. it just...disappoints me that jewishness in new york is hardly ever even really mentioned? again, i know we’re only just over halfway through season 2, but also, we had a whole first season too. and it’s definitely not all bad. for example: willy! gd, i love willy so much. him being a golem of williamsburg makes me really really happy -- a jewish mythological creature animated from clay/mud (in this case bricks) to protect a jewish community (like that of williamsburg, a center for many of nyc’s jews) from threat. golem have so often been taken out of their original context and turned into evil monsters in fantasy settings, especially including dnd. (even within other seasons of d20! crush in fh being referred to as a “pavement golem” always rubbed me the wrong way, and i had hoped they’d learned better after tuc but in acoc they refer to another monster as a “corn golem” which just disappointed me all over again.) so the fact that tuc gets golems right makes my jewish heart very happy.

and yet...he doesn’t show up that much? sure, in s1, he’s very helpful when he does, but in s2 so far he shows up once and really does not say or do much of anything. he speaks with a lot more yiddish-influenced language than other characters, but if you didn’t know those words were specifically yiddish/jewish, you might not be able to otherwise clock the fact that willy is jewish. and while willy is a jewish mythological creature who is jewish in canon, he isn’t human. there are no other direct references to judaism, jewish characters, or jewish culture in the unsleeping city beyond him.

there are, in fact, two other canon jewish characters in tuc. but...here’s where i feel the most frustration, i think. the two canon jewish humans in tuc are stephen sondheim and robert moses. both of whom are real actual people, so it’s not like we can just pick and choose what their cultural backgrounds are. as much as i love stephen sondheim, i think there are inherent issues with including real world people as characters in a fictional setting, especially if they are from living/recent memory (sondheim is literally still alive), but anyway, sondheim and moses are both actual jewish people. from watching tuc alone you probably would not be able to guess that sondheim is jewish -- nothing from his character except name suggests it, and i wouldn’t even fault you for not thinking ‘sondheim’ is a jewish-sounding surname (and i dislike the idea/attitude/belief that you can tell who is or isn’t jewish by the sound of their name). and yeah, i’m not going to sit here and be like “brennan should have made sondheim more visibly jewish in canon!” because, like, he’s a real human being and it’s fucking weird to portray him in a way that isn’t as close to how he publicly presents himself, which is not in fact very identifiably jewish? i don’t know, this is what i mean by it’s inherently weird and arguably problematic to portray real living people as characters in a fictional setting, but i digress. sondheim’s jewish, even if you wouldn’t know it; not exactly a representation win.

and then there’s bob moses. you might be able to guess that he’s jewish from canon, actually. there’s the name, of course. but more insidious to me are the specifics of his villainy. greedy and powerhungry, a moneyman, a lich whose power is stored in a phylactery...it does kind of all add up to a Yikes from me. (in the stock market fight there’s a one-off line asking if he has green skin; it’s never really directly acknowledged or answered, but it made me really uncomfortable to hear at first and it’s stuck with me since viewing for the first time.) the issue for me here is that the most obviously jewish human character is the season’s bbeg, and his villainy is rooted in very antisemitic tropes and stereotypes.

i know this isn’t all brennan’s fault -- robert moses was a real ass person and he was in fact jewish, a powerhungry and greedy moneyman, a big giant racist asshole, etc. i’m not saying that jewish characters can’t be evil, and i’m not saying brennan should have tried to be like “this is my NPC robert christian he’s just like bob moses but instead he’s a goy so it’s okay” because...that would be fuckin weird bro. and bob moses was a real person who was jewish and really did do some heinous shit with his municipal power. i’m not necessarily saying brennan should have picked/created a different character to be the villain. i’m not even saying that he shouldn’t have made bob moses a lich (although, again, it doesn’t 100% sit right with me). but my point here is that bob moses is one of a grand total of three canon jewish characters in tuc, of which only two humans, of whom he is the one you’d most easily guess would be jewish and is the most influenced by antisemitic stereotypes/tropes. had there been more jewish representation in the show at all, even just some neutral jewish NPCs, this would not be as much of a problem as it is to me. but halfway through season 2, so far, this is literally all we get. and that bums me out.

listen, i really like tuc. i love d20. but the fact that it is set in a real world place with real world people does inherently raise challenges when it comes to ethical cultural representation. especially when the medium of the show is a game whose creatures, lore, and mechanics have been historically rooted in some questionable racial/cultural views. and dnd is making progress to correct some of those misguided views of older sourcebooks by updating them to more equitably reflect real world racial/cultural sensitivities; that’s a good thing! but these seasons, of course, were recorded before that. the game itself has some questionable cultural stuff baked into it, and that is (almost necessarily) going to be brought to the table in a campaign set in a real-world place filled with real-world people of diverse real-world cultures. the cast can have sensitivity consultants and empathy and the best intentions in the world, and they’ll still fuck up from time to time, that’s okay. your mileage may vary on whether or not it’s still worth sticking around with the show (or the fandom) through that. for me, it does not yet outweigh all the things i like about the show, and i’m gonna continue watching it. but it’s still very worth acknowledging that the cast is 7 people who cannot possibly hope to authentically or gracefully represent every culture in nyc. it’s an unfortunate limitation of the medium. yet it’s also still worthwhile to acknowledge and discuss the cultural representation as it is in the show -- both the goods and the bads, the ethically solid and the questionably appropriative -- and even to hold the creators accountable. (decently, though. i’m definitely not advocating anybody cyberbully brennan on twitter or whatever.) the show and its representation is far from perfect, but i also don’t think it ever could be. still, though, it could always be better, and there’s a worthwhile discussion to be had in the wheres, hows, and whys of that.

[angeldormante]

Hi!! Im the Leo-withdrawal anon! I didnt ask anything prior to the one you just answered, but I'm so happy you responded! I'd honestly listen to anything you write--I think you have a wonderful way of expressing yourself, and the way you write is just... *chef's kiss* I guess, a question I'd have for you is this: What sort of hobbies do you headcanon our fearless leader to have? Quirks? Both endearing and... less so? I think that'd be a fun start!

hokay.... finally getting around to this!! sorry for the wait and thank you for bearing with me, anon! (ty for the compliment, too -- i'm very flattered jfjflk i just like talking about turtles ok (•̥ ̫ •̥) )

now... lemme talk blue to ya.

if we're talking about hobbies, well. stop me if you think you've heard this before -- leo loves training. for all of the guys, ninjutsu is a way of life; it's how they survive the world, how they connect with themselves and one another; it's their entire culture that the foundations of their family is built upon. and that's super neat. but watch 2k3 for like, one episode, and you'll very quickly see that the only one that fully leans into it is leo. mikey and don have their own interests that they often can't get to quickly enough once the day's training session ends. i think raph actually enjoys training recreationally as well -- but he's more interested in the physical aspect, spending his energy, bulking up, not necessarily focusing on skill or technique. i like to imagine that growing up, leo and raph spent a lot of time in the dojo together doing their own thing, kind of "separate but together"; before casey came along and raph got into hanging out topside with him.

leo, though, he throws himself fully into training. he's incredibly dedicated to it not only because of his sense of responsibility, but because he genuinely enjoys it -- he enjoys improving his technique, his skill. he enjoys the repetition of learning, which helps to calm and center him. he enjoys meditation, which helps him focus and clear his mind. as an introvert, and precisely because his family doesn't hang around the dojo as often as he does, leo's solo training time is his time -- it's his chance to relax and decompress. i think it's exactly why he spiraled harder and harder in season 4 no matter how much training he did: at that point, it was no longer a hobby, but an obsession. leonardo normally uses training as a healthy outlet, but when he channeled his exodus trauma into it, he removed his main method of decompression and replaced it with the intent to fuel that exact trauma. (sidebar, though i've talked about it before: i also feel like this is why fast forward is so excellent at showing leo's character growth. he is extremely zen and such a huge advocate of healthy self-reflection in the way he coaches cody and his clone. my sweet boy, so proud of him in that season.)

now i know what you may be thinking. and you're right. there's more to leo than his life in the dojo... so let's talk about some other hobbies i like to think he has!

so here's the thing, and i think it's something else i've touched on before... but i think leo actually has a very strong bond with donnie. their temperaments are very similar, they feel similar burdens when it comes to protecting the family, etc... and to be honest, i think they bond a lot over the same nerdy hobbies too! i think leo is a huge freaking nerd.

i legit think that donatello has probably absorbed his brother into more than one of his hobbies, both unwillingly and not. some things click for leo, and some things don't. some things he has a hard time getting into until he discovers a certain aspect of it or views it from a different perspective. but he is very often willing to try anything.

for example, i imagine that growing up, leo and don played a lot of chess together. don used to overwhelmingly win, until they got older and older leo got deeper and deeper into the tactical aspect, and soon he was beating don quite soundly more often than he wasn't. don started getting into engineering manuals and physics books, while leo started getting into history texts and military treatises, but both shared a love for novels and would swap their favorites regularly. and they still play chess, of course.

don got into nerdy sci-fi shows. like, really into them. and leo couldn't quite pick up the thread on that one, but he was content to endure every fourth movie night when it was don's turn to pick. and slowly he began getting drawn into it, the same way anyone does -- he enjoyed the campiness of the plot, how absolutely ludicrous the fight choreography was, how sometimes there were actually deep and thoughtful moments. it was both a welcome respite from the intensity of his reality and something he could put to practical use if he had to, like, steal a spaceship one day, though the odds of that happening seemed pretty low⁽ˡᵒˡ⁾. he was never able to quote any of the episodes verbatim like donnie, but it was something they could discuss and lightly bicker about during the times when leo is mindlessly helping out around don's lab. (more on that in a sec.)

also? i can absolutely. totally. easily see leo as a tabletop game enthusiast. i think i'll refrain from getting lost in the weeds on that once, since this is already starting to run long, but i just want to put that in your mind. tmnt dnd gaming nights. let that sit for a second.

okay moving on.

i genuinely think that leo just likes existing in the general vicinity of his family and extended family. not necessarily doing anything; just being there, doing something with his hands. if don is working on a project, leo may drift in, and don will ask him to hand him certain tools or read aloud certain notes on the screen, because he knows the deal. if raph is lifting weights and leo wanders over from his own training session, raph may ask him to spot, or set up the next pair of weights, because he knows how it is. if mikey is sitting in the living room playing video games and leo appears on the couch next to him, he might toss him a controller, or he may just start blabbering about what game he's playing and what level he's on, because he's got it. if april and casey are tidying up her shop for a new shipment of merchandise and leo just randomly appears in the window, feathered duster in hand, april smiles and puts on water for tea and casey teases him and throws him a broom instead without blinking. because that's just how leo is.

the thing is, leo is one of those people who have such a strong presence that -- as long as he's not trying to hide it, of course -- you know he's there because he carries such an atmosphere with him. on the other hand, leonardo is the type of person who is genuinely content to just be in the background. which may sound totally at odds with the whole leader schtick, but i think it's just kind of this duality he has: he can be both at the forefront and in the background, depending on the situation and what is needed from him. does this mean he doesn't have his own hobbies or interests? of course not! but even canonically, throughout the series leo is shown to be just as happy with his hands off the reins so long as there's not a mission in front of him. and i think it's precisely this lack of that constant need for control that shows just how whole and rich leo's inner life is, how he feels full and complete without his leadership/big brother role completely defining him, and how season 4 rips that carpet from under his feet to show the unhealthy side of that particular coin.

so as much as a cop-out answer it may sound like -- i think that leo just enjoys doing things with his brothers. he likes rooftop runs with them. he likes pizza and cards with them. he likes movies, sports, and games with them. but he's also his own person, and he enjoys being in his head, and he has hobbies that help him make his head a healthy place to be; his family absolutely respects that quality, and leonardo is a much more well adjusted person for it.

er.... i didn't really get into quirks or bad habits, but this has run really long already and it's getting late, lmao. so i think i will stop here for now. =w= thank you for letting me ramble again about my blue boy, anon; i know i'm slow, but hopefully i rambled enough to make up for it!