#This took me so fucking long dude

[artjammer]

this is for all of the 3 people who are fans of both portal and object shows (including me)

[curls101]

Tav Questions - Ralxire Edition

LIST

Listen, this is just for me lol. This is Ralxire Xarmus, he's a Teef Necromancer and an absolute greasy nightmare who I ADORE

Why did you pick the race you did for your Tav?

I am trying to play at least one character of each race in BG3 to see all the custom stuff. I'd tried to make a few Teefs and none of them were really clicking. Ralxire was my latest attempt and I adore him even though I have a LOT of teefs with red skin and black hair. He could be my first DnD character's burnout cousin. But I don't care he's perfect

Why did you pick the class you did for your Tav?

I was DYING to play a Necromancer in this game. I really love the idea of it being the "bad" or "evil" wizard, especially on a good aligned character? I think it's a class that says a lot about the character straight away. Dedicating your life to decay and undeath is not something you do if you're not profoundly weird in a lot of ways

What is your character’s moral alignment?

Probably Chaotic Neutral. He's been growing more towards Chaotic Good into act 3, but if you're romancing 'Star, you're never really getting onto the Good line of the chart.

How did you choose your Tav’s name, if you gave them a unique one?

I thought it sounded like a stage magician! I wanted a lot of harsh sounds (in actual DnD he'd be a feral tiefling, so I wanted something with a demonic twinge), but ultimately he picked his own name and picked something a kid would think was cool. I wanted it to feel like a name a ye olde snake oil salesman would use. Hense: Ralxire Xarmus

What are your character’s strongest and weakest stats (strength, charisma, etc)? 

Strongest is INT 20. Weakest is either CHA or STR (from my memory)

 What is your Tav’s origin story? 

I'll try to keep this *so* short

Street kid in Baldurs Gate. Orphan. The whole deal. Met his "sister" Oriana (made by @ms-scholars-gown-bnoc ) and joined a gang. Kept that up untill they were teens, when Oriana was "rescued" by a noble family who gave her a proper home. A little sad, Ralxire stayed - throwing himself further into his self taught wizardry - stealing what arcane supplies he needed. Established himself as a necromancer for hire. Then Oriana came back. Decided the toff life wasn't for her. So they went back to their old ways then.... Mindflayers.

That's as short as I can physically get it without going super into Ralxire's terrible dating decisions

 What was the most significant moment in your Tav’s origin story? 

Oriana leaving. Ralxire has a real protective streak and her leaving left him alone for the first time?? Ever??? It made him have to establish himself and he did that TERRIBLY. That's how he managed to become a greaseball asshole, and unfortunately also a very good necromancer. It isn't significant for good reasons, but significant nonetheless.

 What deity, if any, does your character worship? 

He respects Mystra from a distance, but you're not going to catch him saying grace.

What is your Tav’s biggest priority or goal?

It's gone through some revisions. Since the ship, it's been to restore his old powers and retrieve his old spellbook. That's a constant. Unfortunately, he's also started doing this insane thing called "caring for people"? Crazy. He'll do anything for Astarion - even want him to be better than he is. Hell, he'll become better than HE is for 'Star. Or Oriana.

He's trying, okay?

If your Tav didn’t become an adventurer, what else would they be doing?

NECROMANCY :D

What is your Tav’s most used weapon or spell? 

In canon, it's probably Animate Dead or Necrotic touch. In practice, I think it's actually Haste, because I'm a filthy support wizard and I cannot be stopped

What is your Tav’s favorite school of magic/weapon type?

You got one guess.

How does your Tav fight in a combat situation?

More in the mix than your average wizard! He's not formally trained and a little scrappy - a solid handful of his spells are extensions of his claws. He'll be in the mix, throwing out what he can while concentrating on some support spell that makes Oriana into an absolute monster. Paladins, man....

 Does your Tav know any other languages besides Common? 

Infernal, Abyssal and probably a handful of the Primordials? Contrary to the way he acts and behaves, he is actually smart

 If your Tav could/does multiclass, what other class would they choose?

I feel Sorcerer is cheating somehow.... But I truly cannot imagine him multiclassing. Being a wizard is so much of who he is? His life would be a lot more convienient if he was a sorcerer tbh.

Which of the companions does your Tav trust most?

 He does trust Astarion. He does. But also it's gotta be Halsin. There's no world it isn't Halsin. Either that or La'zel, because she's always gunna have Oriana's best interests at heart.

Which of the companions does your Tav distrust most?

In truth, this was ALL of the companions in Act 1. Ralxire doens't trust easy. I'm going to cheat my way out of this by saying Jahira and Minsc, just because they're newest.

 Who is your Tav’s biggest rival?

Mystic Carrion. Well, he's the biggest FINANCIAL competition. They run the same grift. The true answer is probably Cazador, for obvious Astarion reasons

 Who is your Tav romancing, if anyone?

Astarion. Also Halsin, when they're feeling spicy. But 'Star is the love of his damn life, because he has terrible taste and I love that for them

If you’re romancing anyone, why did your Tav fall for them? And why did that character fall for your Tav?

Not even joking: They're both as bad as each other

Astarion obviously moved on Ralxire for manipulation reasons. I'm not going to give Mr No Wisdom the credit of thinking he saw through that. But there's something to nefarious company. Ralxire is a little more cutthroat than his sister. He's had a bad time since she left. So it's nice to feel his defensive impulses (and frequent fits of just sarcastic and mean comments) are appreciated by someone. They would often be at the back of the group, muttering, judging and getting up to crime. They weren't good like everyone else. The rest was inevitable

 If you’re romancing anyone, who fell first and who fell harder?

Oh, Ralxire. This is the stuff that makes me insane, actually. So Ralxire's not a complete idiot. He knows his taste is bad. He knows guys like 'Star don't stick around. So he falls early - but he has NO illusions about it ever being reciprocated. He sees it as a flaw in himself - that deep down, under all the nastyness, he's still so so loving and caring, despite his best efforts. He doesn't expect 'Star to feel anything at all. He's waiting for him to move on.

Fortunately, Astarion falls like a meteor when he does.

 How does your Tav act around their crush?

Completely normal. See above. He's just a taaaad more protective in ways that will likely go unnoticed by most

 What is your Tav’s favorite moment they’ve had with their lover?

When Astarion told him he wanted their relationship to be real. When he levelled with him about the realities of his attractions. Because it was such a sigh of relief for him. He didn't have to pretend to care less - to pretend he was happy with only having sex. Astarions issues with intimacy were something they could work through - and 'Star wanted to work through it WITH him. As a team. It was the best.

 What is your Tav attracted to? What are their turn-ons and turn-offs? 

Terrible men is his type. If a man is transparently bad for him, Ralxire is all about it. But there has to be some kernel of goodness or they don't get to sleep over.

 Does your Tav have any biases against other classes or races? 

Of course, traditional Sorcerer vs Wizard beef must be observed. Especially because Oriana is part Sorc. Sibling rivalry is no joke.

 What is the most prominent color in your Tav’s color scheme?

Red and Black the whole way down. Sometimes I'll throw in some blue for contrast

 What is their sense of humor like?

Driest sarcasm in the west. The kind where you think they're not joking, just being an asshole out of nowhere. When he's around family, he is partial to a dad joke but he wouldn't be caught dead making one

 What is your Tav’s guilty pleasure?

I think in reality, Ralxire would indulge in every vice availble to man, but he wouldn't be guilty about it. I think he reads nonfiction for fun. I think he uses the mending cantrip to fix his friend's clothes while they're asleep. I think he really likes fancy food and deserts. That's the stuff he'd feel guilty about.

 How easily offended are they? How do they act when offended?

My man has a temper and takes most things as a direct insult to his pride. He has an ego that could eclipse the sun. There's a lot of snarling and exhaling smoke through the nose. There's a lot of saying the first insult that comes to mind. There's a lot of just blurting out the most hurtful shit you can think of as a reflex.

He's... not great at keeping friends. He's working on it.

 How does your Tav react when someone insults their friend/partner?

TIME FOR VIOLENCEEE

As I've said, Ralxire is BIG TIME protective. He's normally chill letting everyone else handle things, but if someone starts squaring up or targeting Oriana or 'Star? Violence.

 How does your Tav dress for different occasions, like very fancy situations?

Ah, Ralxire's nightmare. He's a street rat - he's never been anywhere remotely fancy. If Astarion doesn't dress him, he'd wear the tackiest, most Look I Have Money getup he could steal. Ralxire is not blessed with drip

 How did your Tav get their scars, if they have any?

Oh boy. Ralxire does have facial scarring. Yes, he did it himself. Yes, it was a choice that he then tatted over AND grew facial hair. His lower jaw is a disaster

 What is your Tav’s relationship with their family?

Blood family is nonexistant. Oriana is his closest thing. They've had...bumps. But Ralxire doesn't really care about that. He defends what he has

 What is your Tav’s opinion on nobility and authority?

No respectable lower city kid LIKES either. Ralxire is no exception. Sorry, Wyll

 How does your Tav react to wearing the Wavemother’s robe? How do they react to their partner wearing it?

I can't remember if this is how we discovered Ralxire has an incredible ass BUT HE REALLY DOES. He'd be down - Ralxire has absolutely no body shame at all. He wears a harness to relax. There's a naked statue of him at camp. He doesn't wear underwear. He's nasty as hell and everyone else has to deal with it.

'Star or Halsin wearing it would go exactly the way you think it would.

 What is your Tav’s favorite type of environment? Like in a tavern, a library, out in the wilderness, underground, etc.

Lower City favoured terrain. Taverns, dirty sewer hideouts, nasty waterfront warehouses. Places that aren't too nice make him feel....out of place. Halsin is helping with that, on the nature front. Though, a necromancer is only ever going to be so comfortable in nature

 What would your Tav’s Zodiac sign be?

My brain said Scorpio reflexively, but unfortunately I think he's inherited my Aries sun / Taurus moon combo.

 What is their favorite season?

Autumn. Cool. Everything is dying. It's in his colour pallet. What more could you want?

 Where in the world does your Tav want to visit the most?

I think he'd do a big city tour. Waterdeep, Neverwinter.... I think he'd seek out cool magic places. He does love Baldur's Gate secretly though

 What is the biggest mistake your Tav ever made?

Looking into Litchdom because "it's what Necromancers do"

 What animal best represents your Tav?

Impulse said Rat and I think that's maybe correct? A giant rat. The biggest rat you've ever seen.

 What flower/tree/plant best represents your Tav?

It's too easy to say Corpse Flower? I do think it's apt, actually. Massive for seemingly no reason. Smells bad. Obsessed with dead and decaying things. Looks like a massive dick

 What does your Tav smell like? 

Embalming fluid, probably.

 What song best represents your Tav?

Bonus for Ralxire x Astarion from my playlist for them

 What would be your Tav’s favorite music genre?

There is no world in which Ralxire would not have the worst drum and bass you've ever heard blaring 24/7 irl

 What role would your Tav play in a highschool AU? (nerd, jock, bully, goth, etc)

Dropout/Burnout with bonus He's Secretly Smart trope

 What is the most important item your Tav has?

His spellbook. Really, any book he gets his hands on. But his old and new spellbooks really contrast who he was with who he is now. Like, sure, his old one has Finger of Death in it. But now he has buffing spells! That he casts on other people! He learned spells to help others! Groundbreaking territory

 Where does your Tav feel most at home?

Lower City waterfront. The area of Baldur's Gate with all the monsters in it

 What is your Tav’s philosophy on life?

It would be something like "We're all getting fucked so we might as well enjoy it". He's got that optimistic pessimism going on

 Does your Tav think more with their heart or their brain?

He'd love it if it was his Brain. It would improve his life. Unfortunately he is only ever guided by his heart, his ego or his dick.

 What does your Tav want in their future? (domestic bliss, more adventure, a family, etc)

There was a time where he wanted to be immortal. Now, he mostly wants to give Astarion the best damn life he can until he's gone.

 What is your Tav’s worst fear?

The loss of what little he has - mostly his family

 Is your Tav easily tricked or deceived?

Not necissarily - but he is EASILY swayed by flattery.

 If your Tav was granted a single wish, what would it be?

More wishes. The wish spell in his spellbook. Some loophole bullshit like that

 How does your Tav feel about keeping secrets, both their own and others?

Sure, why not? You've got your reasons and I've got mine.

 How would your Tav react to a love confession?

If it was unrecipricated, it would be the best day of his life. He'd be so happy because he's been given a gift. If reciptrocated, see above answer about Star

 What are your Tav’s biggest insecurities?

Ralxire is more insecurity than man. He is insecure about how much he cares, primarily. Again, he's all ego. A lot of work goes into preserving that

 What decision would your party have to make in order for Tav to consider splitting off from the group?

Honestly, I think the fact I couldn't think of anything is telling. But he does have a soft spot for his fellow teefs. I think if they'd murdered the tiefling refugees, he'd have quitely slipped away the night after

 What is your Tav’s favorite food?

Anything insanely filling. Curries. Stews. That sort of thing. Most of his diet is unfortunately alcohol though

 How generous is your Tav, especially to those they don’t know?

Almost 0%. Maybe a little if you catch him being sentimental

 If an evil character told your Tav that they wanted to change and help them, would they believe it?

Not on your life. Ralxire mistrusts the nicest people on earth

 What meme describes your Tav the best?

I've somehow forgotten every meme ever made by mankind. Maybe....

What does your Tav want to be remembered by?

Outside of existing fondly in the memories of the people he loves, I don't think Ralxire cares much about being remembered.

 What Tarot Card best represents your Tav?

The Chariot (reversed) or The King of Wands (reversed)

 What would be your Tav’s major in college?

I actually answered this here

but tldr Ralxire would be working towards a PHD in Biology or Pathology

 Does your Tav consider themselves a hero, villain, victim or something else?

I think he would rather obstain. Though a bit like 'Star, there's something really funny about considering him a hero even a little bit

 How good is your Tav at giving advice? How good are they at following it themselves?

Good and terrible respectively

 How does your Tav get along with each party member?

Gale - > Inherent Wizard Rivalry is a big barrier here Wyll - > Too good to be true, for Ralxire. He's coming around Lazell - > She loves his sister and that's enough for him Astarion - > See any other answer. Loves more than anything Halsin - > The only grounding force he's ever had and he needed it SO MUCH. Adores sharing him with 'Star. Adores their strange, haphazard relationship. Adores how much he's not his usual type. Karlach - > Banter buds Shadowheart - > They hated each other for no clear reason, but now they bully each other with some affection in it

 What are your Tav’s other hobbies?

He will read anything at all - but likes Philosophy because it's structured arguing.

 (Free Spot: Ask any question you’d like!)

Ralxire's favourite way to end a day is to cuddle the shit out of Astarion while he reads aloud. 'Star gets to listen to his voice rumble and 'Xire gets to play with his hair. Astarion pretends to fall asleep, then Ralxire bundles them both up. Perfection

[skidcd-megamix]

Slim shady concept model and brainrot shit on the side,,,,,umm fun fact: Slim Shady originally had a choker but I didn’t like it at all so I took it away he doesn’t have a choker anymore HE DOESNT HAVE JT!!!! DO YOU

[just-null]

I spent all my tv time watching the episodes that noritoshi appeared in over and over again literally squealing and kicking my feet whenever noritoshi is on screen that my family is just sick of my shit

Noritoshi scolding abt using indoor voices...... swoons....... He would be so orderly and nagging abt it too... uwaa....... coughs

you and me both, bro. The way Noritoshi presents himself with such grace and stoism is so fucking beautiful, even my ancestors possess me to let out their shock. the way his type of character talks, too, with formalities and like he has an image to uphold... HOW CAN YOU NOT YELL AT THAT. Not only that, but he's so... flowy.... from his clothes to his hair and the way he uses his bow in the fight scenes..

the fight scenes served hella cunt. I love shonen sm. Noritoshi fight scenes are so good.... but stop fucking giving him concussions @ gege

[codecicle]

The QSMP is looking for smaller English-speaking streamers, so I figured I'd take the time to introduce qsmpblr to none other than Eric "Condi" Condifiction!!

// this will contain (very minor) spoilers for jrwi riptide, apotheosis, bitb, some prime defenders, and the SCU //

Condi is an English-speaking Canadian who's a part of Just Roll With It (JRWI), the absurdly powerful dnd podcast he runs with his friends Bizly, Grizzly, and Slimecicle!! He plays several characters across their multiple campaigns, along with DM'ing his own campaign of Apotheosis. He plays/played Jay Ferin for Riptide, Rolan Deep for Blood in the Bayou, Sylnan Vengolor for Fated, Flynn Gustwind for Convergence, and Vyncent Sol for Prime Defenders. (plus something im probably forgetting whoops anyway)

He is insanely talented at rp and improv, with some of the more infamous and my favorite examples being episodes 53, 100, and 101 in JRWI: Riptide. The way he plays Jay Ferin is emotionally devastating and incredible, and she's genuinely brought me to tears multiple times. Though he plays his absolute heart out with every character he makes, she's just a neat example of his range and talent. Looking at the differences between Jay, the Navy's daughter, and someone like Rolan Deep, a lawyer returning to his hometown of Galloway to experience The Horrors™ is just wild man. Not to even mention everything he does with Vyncent and his multiple different characters inside him; along with everything he made for his own campaign of Apotheosis.

Something something charlie slimecicle calls him "God Gamer Condifiction." He's really good at video games dude I have no way to talk about this he just is its really scary honestly. On one of his more recent streams he went live playing Only Up! and he beat it in one go without any major setbacks, fast enough to refund the game and get all the money he spent on it back. Just for context.

He also has a background in minecraft roleplay specifically!! He was part of the SCU (Slimecicle Cinematic Universe) where he roleplayed several different characters. God!Condi and 100Days!Condi being the more defined ones. Everything he did in the SCU was nearly pure unscripted improv and incredibly impressive, and I highly recommend you go through and watch it!! (I go into detail on how to get into it on this post)

He doesn't just have background in the roleplay aspects of minecraft though, he was also briefly on SMPEarth and is skilled at regular minecraft too. He mainly strives at the roleplay aspects, but again the whole God Gamer Condifiction thing so ^_^

^ Here's a good example of his regular PVE skills in this video where his chat tortures him through a crowd control mod as he tries to build a cottage core lesbian house

^ Along with a link to of one of my all time favorite videos of his, which I think shows his humor and style of jokes off in a cool way :]

Overall I just really need my dnd guy to be in my favorite minecraft server so he can make so many SCU references with Charlie Slimecicle, then emotionally devastate us through the roleplay aspect. I really hope he manages to get in so everyone gets a taste of his amazing roleplay and gaming (i guess thats how im phrasing it) abilities :DD

Condifiction 👍

[zecoritheweirdone]

eyyyy,, guess who's been drawing more of that hc x msa au?

been making a lot of scene redraws/edits for the past few days,, buuut i'm not quite done with them yet,, so i'll prolly share them another time. until then- here's a lil pearl design! mostly made these to finalize her design,, since the next scene i'm doing involves lewis,, sksnsks.

[earlgodwin]

"He's spent the entire time being picked upon and bullied by the family. I think personally from where Juan stands he sees the hypocrisy in the family, how they can do one thing and say another. As far as Juan is concerned he's always had the best interests of the family at heart, however misguided that might be and doesn't quite comprehend why nobody understands that. Nobody seems to understand that what he does, he does for the betterment of the Borgia clan and never waivers from that. He does that in ways that perhaps aren't sanctioned by the church or sanctioned by family law."

[pineappical]

headshots of some of my favorite mustachio’d guys 💛

[tinystepsforward]

ngl it makes me want to die a little bit that it's so often trans people who feel that sex is mutable but oppression is always-forever based on asab in ways that allow them to demand that information from other trans people. like it feels fucking bad. it feels bad when it's people holding up someone who posts a lot of selfies as transition goals to a degree they have to clarify what they have or haven't done or what "direction" they're going in, it feels worse when people are out there like "caster semenya is not tma" or whatever the fuck. i am, as always, not a trans woman, but here's a sentiment echoed by many of the trans women around me who log the fuck off, quoted directly from one: "people who draw a clear line where they say that semenya or khelif are tme and then call me tma are just calling me male at this point".

like i get it. i really do. we seek community and shared experiences, and we feel betrayed when people have less in common with us than we thought they did. [*more on this later.] but that's not those people's faults and my god in the case i'm seeing play out on twitter rn this poor person did absolutely nothing to intentionally mislead people, just posted pictures of their actual kid self. who looks a lot like i did, because shockingly enough "we can always tell" doesn't fucking work for trans people either!

on the one hand i move in intersex circles which are unapologetically welcoming in cis "dyadic" people with pcos, because it serves nobody to draw a clear line where mutilation or genetics or some ineffable childhood suffering are what make somebody intersex, especially when most of us (esp in places like nz) have never been karyotyped and are being treated for symptoms without a pinned-down cause anyway. the more of us there are the stronger we are, the more pressure we can exert on a medical profession which doesn't like to consider how common outliers are, how uneasy sex is at all. and then on the other hand there's dyadic trans people on the internet who've yelled me out of spaces because a couple of traumatised incarcerated trans women i worked with as a prison abolitionist assumed i was also a trans woman and i didn't immediately tell them my entire csa-involved history of being sexed in varying ways as an infant and child and/or exactly how big my phallus was at birth or where in my junk config my urethra lives so they could decide i was tme or whatever.

returning to the * for a related but not identical thought: i think presuming shared experiences leads to some fucked shit in general! "oh we all had a radfem phase" or "oh we all were channers" no we fucking weren't and it's particularly obnoxious when me & mine are trying to build trans community locally to organise and resist the growing wave of far-right backlash against our existence, and there's just white people in there on a spectrum from "straight up being antisemitic and trying to get the n-word pass" through "handwringing about how they need to make space for people who aren't politically correct" to "handwringing about how brown people are right to be mad at them but doing shit fuckall". and then the other fucking brown people in the space are on some identity politics shit where they're like "trans joy inherently excludes those of us who could get deported" or "big city white queers are killing us by being visible instead of going stealth bc it stirs up the discourse" or whatever the fuck i've heard pulled out this year. there's a bunch of reasons i primarily organise outside of trans spaces and that's one of them. i've never felt more alone in spaces where people claim we're all the same than being left as the brownest moderator or organiser in a space full of people to whom "this is a safe trans space" apparently means they get to abdicate all other responsibilities not to lapse into presumed shared patterns that are fucking racist or otherwise alienating. i've never felt more alone than surrounded by exclusively trans people who sort people into boxes and assume everyone in those boxes has the transition goals they have. like i was on cypro until it disagreed with me to the point of endocrine crisis and now i'm on t and at both those points people were so fucking presumptive or entitled to my reasons or journey or personal relationship w my body

literally just submitted on (and was invited to consult on) the nz law commission's review of the human rights act and like. it's straight up fucked how many nz trans people fully do not comprehend that any "sex assigned at birth" type definitions fundamentally exclude migrants who have no way of proving it and many intersex people who happen to have been reassigned later or many times or never assigned at all as a baby. we can't make law with this shit and that's why we have to have symmetrical protections for all genders/sexes/expressions/presentations, bc naming and defining a protected class here often leaves the people who already are left out from those shared experiences of marginalisation out in the cold when they face violence

[krisunderrune]

enby pride, because we all need it sometimes

[starscelly]

happy birthday tyler seguin (:

31 random (mostly giggly) gifs for tyler’s golden 31st birthday ⭐💛

[kyotosummer]

I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort I want comfort

STOP MAKING LEONARDO SUICIDAL.

[baby5fanclub]

[marsbotz]

i think they shld have at least let maxime keep his antennae. as a treat

[alstroemerian-dragon]

chiaki is such a good and interesting character. wish she was in a better game

[designernishiki]

can we take a moment to acknowledge that kiryu can just casually do this at nearly 50 years old