#Top 10 Heartfelt Rose Day Wishes

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Happy Rose Day 2024 - Top Wishes, Messages, and Quotes to Express Affection

happy rose day 2024 As February kicks off, love is in the air, and what better way to begin the Valentine’s week than with Rose Day? This special day marks the start of a romantic journey, and the exchange of wishes, messages, and quotes adds a delightful touch to the celebration. In this article, we’ll explore the art of expressing feelings on Rose Day through the top 50 wishes, messages, and…

[en-hale-archives]

Me with You ~~

pairing ⑅ bestfriend!Jake x fem!reader

genre ⑅ friends to lovers, fluff, slow dancing, suggestive/smut

words/read time ⑅ 3.9k/12-19 mins

warnings ⑅ 18+ content, light cussing

synopsis ⑅ Jake is back in his hometown to spend time with his closest friend. During some fun and frivolous dancing, things start to heat up...

author's note ⑅ I’m really proud of how this story turned out. I'm not a huge fan of second person, so I wrote in first, but if anyone asks, I can copy and post again in second person. It's more fluff than anything, but it does get a bit steamier towards the end, so I’m just going to go ahead and put a warning.

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When the back door finally slammed shut and the cacophony of barks faded down the street, I could finally let out my sigh of relief that I had been holding in since this morning. I tapped on my phone. How many days had we been watching Mrs. Chen’s pets? And just how was I able to put up with hours of barking, the smell of fresh turd lying across the lawn, and dog walks till dark? Including their rigorous feeding times and bathroom breaks -- I’m surprised I haven’t exploded yet.

I had so much planned the minute they left my house, but instead, the sudden silence felt all too relaxing and I laid my head against the cold countertop. I could finally stop stressing, stop thinking, and stop worrying about reprimanding for chewing on my shoes or peeing in the house or the continued barking that never ended. I was free. I felt like I could’ve stayed laid on the countertop forever, drowning in the evening sun. Who knew watching five dogs would take such a burden out of a person. Jake and I had taken on the job of dog sitting for Mrs. Chen while she visited some family in Tokyo. We both switched off every other day; some of the dogs at my house and the others at his; until we realized it would be easier if he just spent the few days at my house as we co-doggy sat. He got up bright and early to take them on their walks while I prepared their highly detailed and specific meals. Then from there, we spent the rest of the day making sure they didn’t run off somewhere or cause too much destruction in the house. But alas, Mrs. Chen came back early from her getaway and picked up Toby, Caleb, Khao, Sofia, and Pickle on her way home. Although I was exhausted from watching 3-foot dogs all day, the pay was amazing for me, and it would help tremendously for all the online classes I was going to be taking next semester.

The warmth of the sun cast a comforting trance over my heavy eyelids, and soon enough I was fast asleep, standing in the middle of the kitchen with the soft sound of nothing surrounding me.

By the time I had fluttered my eyes open, I had realized I was now seated in my dining chair and a large black jacket was placed over my shoulders. I sat up and let out a yawn, wincing at the bright light coming from the tv and shaking my now numb arm awake. I must have been sleeping for a while because the evening sun had turned to pitch of black. The moonlight beamed through the window and danced along with the sways of the large oak tree out front. I stood up and walked over to the refrigerator in which I grabbed two water bottles and some leftover pasta.

I was sure that Jake hadn’t eaten since lunch, seeing as he only ate if someone sat food in front of his face. I dragged my feet up the stairs until I heard the slamming of a book and the fast typing of a keyboard come from the living room. I turned and looked behind me. Jake had settled his things on the coffee table and floor, large books, folders, and several amounts of crumpled up pieces of paper found their way around Jake, himself slouched up against the edge of the couch. He had changed clothes since the last time I had seen him, he now wore a plain blue shirt with grey sweats, his eyebrows furrowed as he worked hard on whatever he was getting at.

“Oh yes, I was starving!” Propping himself up on the couch, he took the plate of pasta. I placed the waters on the coffee table and settled comfortably on the couch beside him.

“I can’t say that I’ve ever seen anybody sleep standing up before. Look,” Jake took his phone off the charger. “I got a picture.” He pushed the screen in my face, and of course, there was my unconscious body laying on the counter, mouth open and all. I playfully pushed it back his way as his face lit up with a smile I was all too familiar with.

“What are you doing down here so late, it’s almost 12 in the morning,” I asked. Jake’s smile disappeared when he was reminded of the work he had been doing seconds before.

He let out a large huff of air. “Trying to get some words on paper but instead it turned into a paper massacre,” he jokingly replied, “sorry for the mess.”

“Don’t worry about it,” I replied, taking a swig of water. I was going to ask if he wanted to watch a late-night movie, or pull an all-nighter and talk endlessly until the sun rose, but I could tell by each passing second that Jake was worried about this, and he wanted the time he had now over the summer to work on his music. I wished I was motivated to work on my own music, but unlike Jake, I wasn’t in a globally popular boy band. My complicated best friend for over 10 years had been working his butt off since middle school. It was his annual time to sit back and relax while he had the time to, but instead, he chose to use that time to help watch a bunch of dogs with his hometown bestie. God, I loved him.

Jake pulled himself off the couch and right back onto the floor, leaving the rest of the pasta to me. He picked up his pen again and started scribbling down words as quickly as he could, trying hard not to forget the lyrics that had floated into his head. Until he stopped, closing his eyes for just a split second, and let out a powerful sigh. Crumpling up the sheet, he stacks it on top of the others in frustration and started frantically tapping his pencil against the table.

“Maybe it’s best to just try again in the morning,” I advised, taking a small bite of the pasta that was left by my side.

“How come I’m having such a hard time with this?” He gazed up at me frantically for a clue, as if I had the answer to fix a problem as big and as important as his was. I looked at his doleful eyes and the bags that were starting to grow underneath them. I couldn’t help but think, because I made you sit up and watch a bunch of dogs with me.

“Do you want me to see if I could come up with something?”

“If you want. But, hold on, I think my thoughts are coming back up.” He quickly grabbed another piece of paper, his eyes narrowed in concentration.

I tried my best to keep occupied by watching videos on my phone, but I found myself suddenly bored out of my mind. I laid out on my back and picked up one of Jake’s folders. Briefly looking through it, I couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous at the amount of fan art and letters, praising him and the other members. Followed with that were just more and more engene stuff, full of nothing but kind words and heartfelt messages. Part of me wished that I was able to travel with Jake and see the world like he was. How fun would it be to meet people that praised you? And how cool would it be to see that you had fans? I couldn’t help but plaster on a huge smile as I skimmed through some of the notes until I finally came to one with familiar handwriting.

Remember Me were the words written on the top of the paper in bold and bright colors. But the message written underneath is what caught my attention:

To the person that makes me the luckiest guy in the world, this song is for you. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same, but please just remember me -- it was Jake’s handwriting.

I didn’t feel like I was breaking any crime reading his stuff until this moment, but curiosity killed the cat, and right now I didn’t mind being a feline. I checked to make sure Jake was still busy, and he was, almost like he had teleported into his own world. I quietly turned back to the sheet and started reading. It was about a girl, presumably his crush I’m sure. She was someone important to him, someone who made him love so much that it hurt. But this was far from a happy song, in fact, it was terribly heartbreaking. She didn’t understand his love, she wasn’t able to interpret it like he wanted her to. But he confesses that he was scared of what telling her would do, worried that she wouldn’t feel the same. So instead, it was like he was apologizing, and asking that she forgive him for not being brave enough to tell her, and if he did ever get the courage to, for her to remember him even if she wasn’t able to love him like he wanted her to.

The song ends like how the title began, and I find myself flabbergasted at the beautiful mixes of rhymes and metaphors that read like a poem. This was the first of Jake’s songs that made me feel this way, like I had just finished watching a tragedy movie with Ryan Renolds starring. I blink back the tears that I didn’t realize were forming. How come he never told me this? We never kept secrets from each other, like ever. It never mattered the subject or the severity, we had always promised that we would be open and honest with each other. I wish I would’ve known this sooner, maybe I could’ve saved him from feeling this way. And what girl could it possibly be? I knew for sure I was the only girl he was presumably close to; but was there someone else?

I glanced down at Jake, who was still in a focused state of mind with the pencil in his mouth and mumbling lyrics softly under his breath. I tried picturing my bubbly Jake writing these agonizing words and miserably failed.

Jake looked up at me as if he could feel my gaze on the back of his head. “I think I’ve found the chorus, but it’s the rest of the song I’m not able to get, and how come it’s so hard to find another word that rhymes with severe? Beer? Sphere? Revere? Appear? Gosh, rhyming sucks some serious ass!”

“This song is beautiful.”

Jake furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “Huh?”

“This song I found in your folder.” I glanced back at it in my hand. “Remember Me.”

Jake’s gaze leaped from my eyes to the sheet, and I felt his body tense. “Where’d you get that from?”

“I was just going through one of your folders. Did you accidentally get it mixed up in your fan folder? Cause this is -”

“Did you read it?” He interrupted.

“Yeah, and it’s perfect.”

Jake glanced at me for a split second before turning back around, obviously uncomfortable. “I was watching one of those Kdramas you love so much and it inspired me. Could you help me rhyme with severe now?”

I knew Jake like the back of my hand, so I knew continuing on with this conversation would get him upset if he’s clearly avoiding it. But, I wasn’t going to just let him off that quickly. “Jake, come on, you can tell me anything. Who is this about?”

Jake looked back at me with a hint of something in his eyes, something I’ve never seen before, and something I wasn't able to decipher. “Nobody, I was just feeling really inspired, that's it.” His tone had switched from calm to agitated.

I give him my I’m-not-stupid look and he comes back with his own you’re-being-delusional stare. “It’s seriously nobody, truthfully and honestly.”

“Okay, okay I’ll back off.” I could tell he was starting to get defensive, and when he got like that, it took him at least a few hours before returning to normal. I watched Jake's Adam's apple move up and down, a way in which I could tell he knew I was not convinced in the slightest. “Well, sometimes we go through things that can remind us of situations like that, but not necessarily in that same exact context, you know? It has to be amplified for that audience appeal.”

“Okay...but have you ever felt this way before? Not exactly like how it’s written, but maybe somewhere along these lines?”

I thought I was going to get another vague answer, or worse, an aggravated one. But instead Jake looked down at his pencil as he tapped it along his wrist. “...maybe, but I think everyone can connect to the words in some way. I mean, everyone feels some kind of heartbreak in their life, right?” Jake's answer was still pretty vague, but at least I was able to get something out of him.

“Okay, but you know you can tell me anything, like, anything ever because you know that you’ll never actually have to feel this way, right?” I said, maybe too much in a hurry.

“Of course I know that.” He replied, giving one of his awkward grins.

“And if anyone has made you feel this way, then you know you can tell me that too cause there a sucker to lose out on a perfect person like you.” I teased in a sing-song way, poking his shoulder hard. Jake chuckled and poked me back.

A weird silence grew in the room, and Jake went back to trying to find rhyming words. I tried getting back on my phone, but I knew I needed to say something to let go of the tenseness in the air.

“Hey, crystal clear rhymes!”

He leaned his head back and looked up at me. “Nevermind, I give up for tonight.”

I could see the stress that played on his face. “Don’t worry, you’ll figure it out.”

“Yeah, but by the time I do, it’ll be too late.”

“What do you mean?”

Jake pulled his knees up to his chest and spoke. “This was going to go on our album comeback that needs to be finished in the next four months. By the time I think of something, it'll be too late and I’ll have to wait until the next four months. But by then, I'll have forgotten. This always happens and I have no idea how the hell to fix it.” I couldn’t tell if he wanted my help or just a bit of comfort.

“Did you try asking the other guys to see if they had any ideas?”

“Yeah, but they’re working on their own parts, I can’t ask them to do this too.”

“I’m sure they’d be willing to help if you asked,” I assured him.

“I know they would, but I just don’t want to. I always ask them for help, I thought being away from the studio and being back home would help my brainstorming abilities.” He gave a weary chuckle that almost sounded like a groan.

“Well, maybe tomorrow will come with better results.” I did my best to give him some motivation, but I could tell I was failing miserably at that too.

Jake watched as a car zoomed past the window, a low bass sounding off as it zoomed away. “I bet it’s easier to just listen to music than to try and come up with it. I remember when I would just blare NCT all day long and jam out in my room. It seemed so much easier back then to come up with stuff than it does now. I miss it.” He took a slight pause before continuing. “ Did you know that song you read was the easiest thing I have written in my life? I remember writing too. I just had this super weird feeling in my chest one day so I basically locked myself in my room and took maybe two hours and just wrote a bunch of words down and connected them to sound like a song. For once my mind had just gone blank and I couldn’t stop thinking and feeling that song, like I knew what it was supposed to sound like, I knew what the lyrics were supposed to mean. I just knew everything. And I miss that feeling, that feeling of like- '' He broke off his sentence when he looked back up to my eyes. It seemed like he was talking more to himself than to me. He swallowed hard and looked back at the pencil still in hand.

“Well, I'm sorry you don’t feel free anymore. I wish there was something I could do to make you feel like that again-”

“No, please don’t feel like that. It’s just something that had just recently started happening, something I really just can’t fix…” His voice gets softer and softer the more he spoke.

“Have you spoken to your manager about it?” I asked. “He’s super nice from what I understand. And he’ll probably have better answers than your friend who can barely play the piano, let alone produce an entire song.”

Jake laughed before I had the chance to. “ See, now you're underestimating yourself. Remember that song from freshman year? The one about-- what was his name, Josh?” Jake teased. I grabbed a pillow and slammed it into the back of his head. “Oh my gosh, I thought we promised we’d never bring it up again!”

Jake chuckled and laid his arm on the couch completely turning towards me. “How about we sneak out and go get ice cream and try to not wake up your mom in the process?”

I suddenly jumped to my feet when I have the perfect idea on how to cheer up the gloomy Mr. Shim. “Or, we could do something even better!”

“Urgh!” Jake groaned.

I grabbed my phone and hooked it up to the speaker. I was going to turn on his hit song Drunk-Dazed as a joke, but Jake needed this break from his career, so instead, I crunk up Beyonce as loud as it could go without disturbing my mom who slept upstairs. I turn back to Jake and reach out for his hands, already moving my hips to the music.

He shook his head and threw it back onto the couch as if throwing a temper tantrum. “I literally dance for a living.”

“Okay but this will be different, I promise.” I grabbed the piles of papers on the ground and threw them in the trash, I then pushed the coffee table near the wall and piled his folders and books neatly on top.

“Come on, cowboy!” I grabbed his hands and helped him up. He was reluctant to get up, but he threw one last groan before standing on his feet.

“This will get the brain juices flowing again!” I told him. I go back to my phone and switch it to one of my favorite Beyonce songs that she covered, At Last.

I sang dramatically to get Jake to smile, and luckily, it worked. I placed both my hands over his shoulders and swayed us back and forth, still miming the song as overly exaggerated as I could. Jake still couldn’t help but smile, and it didn’t take him long to join me in the rhythm and sway naturally with me. I learned at our middle school dance that Jake had perfect rhythm. He was able to impress the rest of the crowd when he busted out moves from BTS. Everyone was impressed, including me.

Now we were on a steady roll. I accidentally stepped on his feet a few times, but it was fine seeing as I was wearing foam flip-flops and he was barefooted. After a while, the song switched and played another of my favorites that didn’t match our style of dance, but we still moved slowly to the beat. Jake tried twirling me, but since I have two left feet, I almost ended up hitting the wall each time and Jake laughed loud at my clumsiness. The moonlight from the kitchen had now switched to the window in the living room. It gleamed through and glistened on Jake like a spotlight, just like the ones on the stage did for him. In a split second, I was reminded that he wouldn’t be here forever, just like he wasn’t here for the past year. I tried to not let it settle on my face that I was scared to see him go again, so I played up on the fun we were having now. Jake looked like he was at ease; finally, since he’d been here, he looked genuinely happy and I wasn’t going to ruin that.

After another handful of songs full of laughs and giggles, we were soon sweating and taking deeper breaths than normal. Each song was different from the one before, but it didn’t stop us from sticking to our style of dance. Even with the simplicity of the moves and the slowness of the steps, I had to take a minute to relax. I hooked my arms around his neck and rested my entire body on his. I could feel Jake’s own sweat seeping through his shirt, But I didn’t mind the wetness that was now attached to my cheek. I thought he would act awkward and ask for me to pull away, but instead, he gripped tighter on my hips and started slowly moving me side to side. I let out a long overdue sigh, trying my best to match the steady breathing of Jake’s with my own. It was actually therapeutic: hearing his heartbeat in one ear and the softness of the music in the other.

I tried to continue our steady breathing together, but his had picked up a bit, almost out of nowhere. I felt the heat of his breath on the nape of my neck, and it made my entire body tingle in a way it never had before. After this sudden feeling, I realized just how close we really were. His leg hair tickled my legs, I could feel the bone of his foot connecting to mine, I could feel his thin waist against mine as well. I felt like I needed to back up, but instead, I couldn’t and continued to sway softly against him. A few seconds later, Jake’s hands rose a little higher, planting themselves on my waist and tightening their grip as if they were trying to pull me closer than we already were.

The sensation hadn’t stopped though, it clung to my body like my damp shorts did on my thighs. Sooner or later I felt pressure on the lower part of my stomach and thought for sure that Jake was messing around and wasn’t feeling what I was, which indicated that I needed to pull back before this feeling became too much.

This is so embarrassing. I thought. How could I let myself feel like this? How was this in any way okay? I finally pulled back, the sensation becoming too unbearable, and glanced up at his face. His pupils were large in a way I hadn’t seen before. His mouth was slightly open and a drop of sweat slowly traced down his forehead, onto his nose. That pressure I was feeling on my stomach had now doubled in force, and Jake's face had switched from calm and subtle, to alarmed and panicked...

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(part 2 possibly...?)

Thank you guys so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! Please, leave any constructive criticism you have on helping improve my writing!

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None of the images are mine, They all belong to their rightful owners :)

[joeygoeshollywood]

My 25 Favorite Films of 2020

Well, this was quite the crazy year, especially for movies. While many films that were slated to be released this year were postponed due to the coronavirus pandemic, this year still provided some laughs, tears, and thrills both in theaters and in the living room. 

(NOTE: Due to the delayed awards season calendar and postponed Oscar bait films that are unavailable to be seen before the end of 2020, this list will eventually be updated after having seen the following films: The Father, Minari, News of the World, Nomadland, One Night in Miami, Pieces of a Woman, Promising Young Woman)

Here are my 25 favorite films of the year:

25. Kajillionaire 

Quirky filmmaker Miranda July is back with her first feature in nearly a decade. Kajillionaire is a bizarre but captivating tale about a family of criminal grifters and how the daughter reevaluates her strained relationship with her parents after an outsider is welcomed into the fold. Evan Rachel Wood takes what could have easily been dismissed as a goofy caricature in Old Dolio (yes, that’s her name) and turns into a heartfelt portrayal of a woman whose lifestyle of freeloading dictated by her parents (played by Debra Winger and Richard Jenkins) becomes her own crisis. In many ways, Kajillionaire feels like a fantasy that keeps people asking, “What on earth is going on?” And this time, it’s for the best. 

24. Freaky

Revamping decades-old plots like the body-swapping antics from Freaky Friday can either result in a predictable failure or a surprising success. Thankfully, Freaky falls into the latter category. In this horror comedy, a deranged serial killer (played by Vince Vaughn) swaps bodies with his victim, a timid teen girl (played by Kathryn Newton). What makes the film work though are the dedicated lead performances, particularly by Vaughn, who is pretty convincing as young girl trapped in a grown man’s body. With a few good laughs and decent thrills, Freaky is worth the watch. 

23. The Outpost

The Outpost is an intense film about the real-life story of small group of US troops isolated by surrounding mountains in Afghanistan, under the constant threat of the Taliban, which ultimately comes to a head in the Battle of Kamdesh. The film captures the harrowing experiences of these soldiers with heart-pounding action sequences, which are fueled by a solid cast including Scott Eastwood, Caleb Landry Jones, and Orlando Bloom. 

22. Uncle Frank

Paul Bettany may be best known for playing The Vision in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but he should be celebrated as his title character in Uncle Frank, a touching dramedy set in 1973 about an NYU professor who returns home to his estranged family for his father’s funeral while his niece, played by rising star Sophia Lillis, idolizes him for teaching her to be her authentic self while he keeps his sexuality a secret. Bettany brilliantly balances the coolness of his stature with the internal agony that ultimately hits a boiling point, which is counterbalanced by Peter Macdissi’s fun performance as Frank’s happy-go-lucky lover who accompanies him back home despite his wishes. 

21. Hillbilly Elegy

Hillbilly Elegy was panned by critics over politics that had absolutely no role the film. Based on the best-selling memoir by J.D. Vance, the newest feature from Ron Howard shows the journey of a boy who despite all odds growing up in a poor family that constantly struggled with abuse and addition managed to get into Yale Law School and achieve the American dream. While both Gabriel Basso and Owen Asztalos hold the film together as the younger and older Vance in the present and flashback scenes, Amy Adams as the impulsive, irresponsible mother and an unrecognizable Glenn Close as the no-nonsense inspiring grandmother that turn Hillbilly Elegy into an acting tour de force. 

20. The Trial of the Chicago 7

Oscar-winning screenwriter Aaron Sorkin sits in the director’s chair once again in this courtroom drama about the real-life protesters who showed up in Chicago during the 1968 Democratic National Convention. With themes that resonate today, The Trial of the Chicago 7 benefits from its sharp screenplay, well-paced editing, and an outstanding ensemble cast that includes Eddie Redmayne, Mark Rylance, Yahoo Abdul-Mateen II, Sacha Baron Cohen, Jeremy Strong, Frank Langella, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Michael Keaton. 

19. Yellow Rose

Broadway actress Eva Noblezada makes her film debut as an aspiring country singer on the run after her mother, an illegal immigrant, is obtained for deportation. Yellow Rose presents a nuanced depiction of US immigration, but at the heart of it is a heartbreaking story of a young woman who struggles between putting her family or her dreams first. Between Noblezada’s powerful performance and solid original music, Yellow Rose hits all the right chords. 

18. Palm Springs

Move over, Groundhog Day. While the Bill Murray classic has largely monopolized the time loop film genre, Palm Springs gives it a run for its money. Andy Sandberg and Cristin Milioti star as the unlikely duo who are stranded reliving the same dreaded wedding day involving mutual acquaintances and their desperate efforts to escape the seemingly inescapable. The Hulu comedy stands on its own two feet for the good laughs, the chemistry between the two leads, and the film’s emotionally-grounded plot.  

17. Let Him Go

Kevin Costner and Diane Lane reunite on the big screen after playing farmer parents in Man of Steel to rancher grandparents in Let Him Go, although this time they are able to display their full acting chops. In this period dramatic thriller, they set out to find their only grandchild following the death of their son only to discover that the widowed daughter-in-law remarried into an infamous crime family. While both Costner and Lane tug at the heartstrings, it’s Lesley Manville, who plays the ruthless matriarch of the family, that really takes command of the screen. Ultimately, Let Him Go is all about family and the lengths one is willing to go to protect it. 

16. Unhinged

In a year plagued by the pandemic, Unhinged led the way to the revival of movie theaters back in August and perhaps in some ways it was meant to be the film to do so as the themes of a rage-fueled society and the lack of human connection carry weight. Russell Crowe stars, as the title suggests, as an unhinged psychopath whose road rage torments a woman and her adolescent son. Unhinged is the epitome of pure entertainment and is why we go to the movies. While it’s not quite the most sophisticated thriller of the year, it’s still one helluva ride. 

15. Emma

Anya Taylor-Joy has had quite the year with both highs (The Queen’s Gambit) and lows (The New Mutants). But it began before the pandemic with the release of Emma, which she stars as the iconic Jane Austen title character, a socialite who meddles in the love life of others while refusing to acknowledge her own shortcomings in that department. Supported with a strong ensemble cast, beautiful production design, and comedic charm, Emma is not to be missed. 

14. The Invisible Man

ln the era of remakes and reboots, very few are as good as Universal’s latest monster flick revival of The Invisible Man. Elisabeth Moss stars as a woman who believes she’s being haunted by her abusive ex-husband, someone she becomes convinced faked his own death and is stalking her without being able to be seen. Filmmaker Leigh Whannell, the writer behind the Saw and Insidious horror franchises, generates good thrills and high-wire tension with the help of high production value and a terrifyingly-good performance from Moss. 

13. Dick Johnson is Dead

Documentarian Kirsten Johnson filmed a beautiful, intimate tribute to her father Dick Johnson, who has been suffering from Alzheimer's in the final years of his life. However, instead of dreading his death, both daughter and father embrace it by having him acting out several scenes of his over-the-top demises. Dick Johnson is Dead may focus on the subject manner of death, but this documentary actually celebrates life and the laughs that happen along the way. 

12. The Wolf of Snow Hollow

Perhaps one of the littlest-known films of the year, The Wolf of Snow Hollow is not your conventional indie comedy horror flick. Writer/director Jim Cummings stars as an overly-heated police officer who attempts to get to the bottom of a string of murders in his small, snowy Utah town by what appears to be some sort of werewolf, though he remains unconvinced. Featuring one of the final performances from veteran actor Robert Forster, The Wolf of Snow Hollow uses its quirky sense of humor to stand out from the rest of the pack. 

11. The Gentlemen 

The Gentlemen is a fun, action-packed, crime caper from Guy Ritchie about the London turf war of drug kingpins. Matthew McConaughey, Charlie Hunnam, Henry Goulding, Michelle Dockery, and Colin Ferrell all round out the strong cast, but its Hugh Grant that really steals the show as the comedically manipulative Fletcher, whose only allegiance is to himself. If you like a stylish film with well-choreographed violence and a fast-paced plot, The Gentlemen should be your cup of tea.  

10. Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom

Some of the best play-to-film adaptations are the films that feel like you’re watching a play, and Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom is one of them. Produced by Denzel Washington, Viola Davis gives a transformative performance as Ma Rainey, known as the “mother of the blues” and the clash she had with a pair of White music producers, but she also butts heads with her trumpet player (played by the late Chadwick Boseman), who also has his own music ambitions. While Davis obviously gives other Oscar-worthy performance, it was Boseman who was able to show how incredibly gifted he was as an actor. And while the world lost him far too soon, at least his last role ended up being his greatest. 

9. The Kid Detective

One of the biggest surprises of the year was how good a movie starring and produced by Adam Brody was. Brody plays a washed up former kid detective who attempts to revive his once-celebrated career of solving mysteries by getting to the bottom of a murder in his hometown. The Kid Detective is a brilliant dark comedy from newcomer writer/director Evan Morgan with good laughs, plenty of plot twists, and a career-best performance from Brody, who proves he’s more than just the pretty face from The O.C. we all know him as. 

8. Mank

Citizen Kane is widely regarded as one of the greatest films ever made and Mank is a worthy tribute. Gary Oldman stars as the title character Herman “Mank” Mankiewicz, the Oscar-winning screenwriter behind the iconic film. David Fincher (The Social Network, Gone Girl) managed to capture the epic scale of the 1941 classic that would make Orson Welles proud. 

7. Soul

Soul is one of those rare existential Pixar films that goes beyond being children’s entertainment. Following in the footsteps of 2015′s Inside Out, Soul depicts what happens to the soul of a jazz musician who’s convinced his time on Earth isn’t over. While the universe created to explain how souls work and the plot that went along with it falls short of its emotions predecessor, Soul is still high-caliber among Pixar films and a great movie for both kids and adults alike. 

6. Another Round

Perhaps the greatest work from Swedish director Thomas Vinterberg to date, Another Round follows four unsatisfied middle aged men who decide to take a theory of task from a Norwegian psychiatrist, who concluded that maintaining a blood alcohol level of 0.050 will enhance their mental and psychological state. Mads Mikkelsen, who’s best known to American audiences as Hannibal Lecter in the short-lived NBC series Hannibal and the Bond villain in Casino Royale, offers a strong, nuanced performance as one of the four educators who embraces this drinking challenge in a film that provides an equal balance of chuckles, cringes, and emotional gut punches. 

5. I’m Thinking of Ending Things

From the crazy mastermind of Charlie Kaufman, the writer behind Being John Malkovich, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and Anomalisa, his latest on Netflix is too a mind-bender. I’m Thinking of Ending Things is a surreal, zany, and at times disturbing examination of the human condition as the nameless female protagonist played by an incredible Jessie Buckley mulls over breaking up with her boyfriend (played by Jesse Plemons) while visiting his parents’ house. Accompanied with a stellar production design and a crazy-good performance from Toni Collette as “Mother,” Kaufman newest cerebral feature lives up to his iconic reputation of filmmaking. 

4. Da 5 Bloods

Spike Lee is one of the few genius filmmakers who is able to blend multiple genres together and his latest film is no different. Da 5 Bloods is an action adventure, buddy comedy, dramatic character study, and war movie all wrapped up into one about a group of Vietnam War veterans who return to the former battlegrounds to find the remains of one of their fallen soldiers as well as some treasure that they kept hidden years ago. With a strong ensemble cast that includes the late Chadwick Boseman, its longtime character actor Delroy Lindo who steals the show with his powerful performance. Da 5 Bloods is easily one of Netflix’s strongest films to date. 

3. The Assistant

One of the first #MeToo-era films, The Assistant offers the day in the life of a low-level female staffer of a production company who is haunted by the presence of her Harvey Weinstein-like boss (who never actually appears in the film). However, rather than depicting the dramatics of sexual misconduct, The Assistant uses the common subtleties and nuances of the workplace yet maintains the same tension and heartbreak. Anchored by the remarkable, devastating performance by up-and-comer Julia Garner (Ozark), The Assistant is as important as it is well-done. 

2. Sound of Metal

Riz Ahmed gives the performance of his career as a heavy metal drummer and former addict whose sudden battle with going deaf upends his life. Sound of Metal is an incredible experience that gives a rare glimpse in the American deaf community which is enhanced by the remarkable sound design that helps the audience actually hear what the musician is going through. It’s truly one of the most rewarding films of the year. 

1. The Climb

The Climb takes the generic “man sleeps with his best friend’s fiancé” storyline and turns it on its head. In his feature debut as writer and director, Michael Angelo Covino leads as the not-so-apologetic adulterer Mike and Kyle Marvin, who co-wrote the film, is the good-hearted Kyle who struggles to whether or not to forgive his best friend’s ultimately betrayal. Not only is The Climb is quirky and hilariously written, it’s a remarkably well-made comedy with some of the year’s best cinematography. Between a strong cast, a superb screenplay, and the extremely-high production value, The Climb is at the top of the mountain of 2020′s best films. 

[palmofafreezinghand]

For the short fic challenge, want to do number 10 for a canon scene w/ Edward and Rosalie?

Thank you so much for the request! This was a fun challenge to write within the restraints of canon for once & shockingly we’re going to Breaking Dawn of all moments. 

This happens sometime between Chapter 16 (when Edward hears Renesmee’s thoughts for the first time) and Chapter 17 (when Leah rightfully ‘confronts’ Bella.) 

Bella had finally fallen asleep on the couch. Her hand rested over the top of the bump Edward was begrudgingly starting to see as beautiful instead of demonic.

He lifted his head slightly as he heard Rosalie enter the living room. Her inner monologue was a pool of fantasies, from a perfect baby to Edward’s groveling apology.  He stayed quiet as she took a seat on the opposite armchair. Her smile upturned ever so slightly and very smugly.

“Just say it,” Edward sighed, knowing full and well the phrase she had wished to say for weeks.

“No, I can be a bigger person.”

Edward snorted at that and Rosalie grinned that her joke had landed. It was the first time the two had laughed in weeks, and the first time in months because of each other. 

“I did tell you so,” she said, without an ounce of the self-righteousness he expected.

“Yes, you did,” Edward resigned with a slight sigh. He had never been happier to be proven wrong. Well, he hadn’t been proven completely wrong, yet.

“You have to understand where I was coming from,” he pleaded. 

“Idiotville?” Rosalie quipped.

Edward gave her a slight grin for that, “glad to see you’re still the epitome of class.”

“A man who’s going to name his child Renesmee has little room to talk.”

“You told her you liked it!” He whispered as Bella stirred ever so slightly.

“What else was I supposed to say?” Rosalie shrugged. She could give Bella some credit, it was a unique name. 

“Where did she get that?” Edward asked, not the largest fan of his wife’s niche name choices. 

“Don’t look at me, I’ve been rooting for Rosemarie.”

“And if it’s a boy?”

Rosalie paused for a half second, as if she had never considered the possibility of a nephew. She mentally flipped through half a dozen ‘boy’ names combined with some form of Rose before she landed on, “Rosebert.”

“That’s not a name,” Edward laughed lightly.

‘Renesmee is?’ Rosalie thought before she was able to bite her mental tongue. Edward smiled. They watched as Bella tucked closer to Edward in her sleep.

“I’ve missed being your friend,” Edward said quietly after a few silent minutes.

“You’re not my friend,” Rosalie lied. 

“I’ve missed being your punching bag?”

“That’s more accurate.” Edward smiled at the half joke. He’d missed jokes.

“We’re alright?” He asked quietly again after a few more minutes.

“You’ve done stupider things.” Rosalie shrugged. “I always knew you’d come around,” she added genuinely.

“You did?”

“You’re stupid, not cruel,” Rosalie muttered as she got up to rinse out Bella’s dirty glass. 

“Rosalie,” Edward said as she went to open the kitchen door. He knew she stopped but he didn’t turn to look at her.

“Thank you. I know this wasn’t ea-”

He was interrupted by the close of the kitchen door. She would have slammed it but Bella’s rest was more important than proving a petty point. 

Perhaps the heartfelt apologies and overdue honest conversations would have to wait for another day. Or perhaps they’d never come at all. He knew how she felt, no matter how much either of them wished he didn’t, and she knew how he did, even without some magic power. 

Edward glanced down to Bella’s bump where the baby was lightly stirring. Their thoughts laced with an unexplainable admiration at the sound of the voice they knew as their father but Rosalie’s voice they couldn’t quite place. He bent down to whisper to his unborn child. 

“That’s Rosalie. She’s pretty neat…”

[popculturebuffet]

Top 12 Christmas Episodes!

Merry Christmas Eve Everybody! We’ve reached the end of my christmas reivews and what not on this blog. 

But as a wise barrel chested canadian man once said, I fucking love christmas, So if i’m finishing up the holiday on my blog I want to go big and stay home. So in honor of the holiday, my memories of it and just how GREAT it makes me feel i’m counting down my top 12 christmas specials! After last year’s worst of list I really wanted to do the oppsiite.. but it was naturally a lot harder. Shows usually put a LOT of effort into their christmas outings, even the ones who do so once a year, so the good FAR FAR OUTWEIGHS THE BAD. To show the contrast I could only find like.. 8 I was comfortable with putting on the worst list and even some of them aren’t that bad just not good. With the best of list? I had over 60 considered and even once I started narrowing down.. it was still around 30 or 40 REALLY GOOD specials I had to work down into this list. It took a lot of work and up to the last one it was really HARD to cut it down this far. But this is the best of the best of the best of the best of the.. you get the bit. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover and this review was already supposed to come out on christmas eve, so, since I won’t be able to use this for another year...

Er. Top 12 Christmas Specials.

12. Merry Christmas Johnny Rose (Schitt’s Creek) So I finally watched all of Schitt’s Creek this year.. and i’m kicking myself for not powering through it’s terrible starting decent ending first season earlier because the show is easly one of the best comedies of the last decade and rightly earned it’s emmy sweep this year. Heartfelt, hilarious, and starring some of the best names old and new in comedy, the show is really great and I recommend checking it out.. just again be aware the first few episodes are not very good and if it wasn’t vital to the rest of the show story wise, i’d just recommend skippping season 1. While the characters minus patriach Johnny are insuferable at first... it’s their growing from self absorbed assholes to still self abosrbed but really good and decent people that is the beating heart of the show. And no where more is this heart on the show’s sleve than at christmas time as this episode is baked in just how far our cast have come.

The episode centers on Johnny Rose, played by Eugene Freaking Levy who co created the show with his equally talented son Dan who desrves the lion’s share of the credit for the show’s upturn in quality. Since the Roses used to have big lavish christmas parties once a year, Johnny decides to throw the equilvent of what they can do on a budget at the Motel they all live in. But his family all has other plans with daughter Alexis, now happily with Ted again, meeting his friends for the first time, son David, played by Dan Levy, busy at his store with his partner, in both senses, patrick and his wife Moira having a performance with her acapella group. At first it just comes off as something typical of johnny: Something well meaning and what not but ultimatley just not something his family is into or that he planend well for.

It’s only when Johnny finds himself alone at the local diner with Moira coming to see him we find out why he’s REALLY doing this: the old lavish parties, which we see one of at the start.. ultimately ended up with him alone, sad and everyone off to their own corners. WIth the family having actually come together over the past 4 seasons, Johny simply wanted to celebrate that and says such in one of the best moments in the entire show and with one hell of a line.

"I just thought, in spite of all the hardship, we found ourselves coming together, the kids, you and me, as a family. And it just seemed like the perfect day to celebrate that. The perfect day for a Rose Family Christmas Party." But Moira has already taken care of it and thus takes JOhnny home to find all their friends and the rest of the family gathered, wtih the Jazzagals serandading eveyrone with a beautiful rendition of silent night. It’s just a warm, well done character piece that really fits the holiday while also really cementing what the show had become: a show not afraid to make dirty jokes or humilatie it’s cast but one that has a true sweetness to it. It’s only that the first half’s jokes don’t quite pop all that well and feel a bit at johnny’s expense that holds it back. Otherwise this is one i’ll be coming back to every year.

11. Father of the Bob (Bob’s Burgers) Bob’s Burgers is a damn great show i’m season’s behind on. Warm, charming, weird and with an expansive side cast played by a whos who of whose in comedy today. It’s a damn fine show and i’m happy it seems to have manatained it’s quality long after the simpsons and family guy lost theirs. And the show really loves christmas.. and halloween.. and valentine’s day.. and thanksgiving. Oh god does it love thanksgiving. Point is, the shows good at holiday episodes and loves doin em and has produced some stellar ones and I had a lot to pick from here.. but I ended up going with my gut and my personal faviorite. It’s not the most christmasy despite the trappings, but the character work is just too good to leave it out in the cold.  It’s Christmas Eve and the Belcher’s are visiting Bob’s Dad. As you can tell by the fact the most we’ve seen of him is a picture of his restraunt, big bob’s diner in the belcher’s living room and a flashback where he told bob to work instead of play as a kid that set off an episode’s plot, they don’t have the best relationship. Bob has a firm rule about not spending more than 15 minutes with his dad, as that’s the point they run out of things to talk about and his dad starts getting overcrytical and making jabs at bob’s life and restraunt. Linda, being Linda, decides to meddle and when she finds out Big Bob’s short order cook is missing, has our Bob fill in.  But as we see in flash backs it’s not THAT easy to repair things, as there’s a long, bitter history between the two: When a youngbob made his first unique burger and served it to a customer, his dad threw it out without even letting anyone taste it. He then offered bob a partnership when bob was a young man but Bob snapped at Big Bob in front of his friends and left to make burgers his own way, leading to where we are now. And honestly i’ts the perfect origin story for Bob and adds a lot of shades to his character. He’s obessed with the restraunt not just because he genuinely loves cooking but because it’s HIS. His place, to create creative burgers, his family and his regulars. It’s his corner of the sky. It makes the restraunt’s existance and surivvial that much more heartwarming to know the meaning behind it.

Naturally things end up blowing up with Bob pointedly serving the burger to make a point and Big bob walking out angrily and sadly. It takes bob’s gift from the kids, who had their own neat subplot of making gifts for bob in the basement, a snowglobe wrapped in newspaper.. to find out hsi dad kept the newspaper with the review of his first restraunt and kept ALL reviews of Bob’s Burgers. Despite being a stone faced critical ass on the outside, Big BOb STILl cared.. and bob relizes he needs to make amends and actually make an effort instead of just avoiding his dad or gettin gback at him. And through the power of gay club next door line dancing, and nick offerman whose a wonderful guest star here, the two reconcile with Bob admitting he shouldn’t of humilatied his dad even if he had to go his own way, and Big Bob admitting he’s hard to work with, the loss of his wife hit him hard, and he was a bit too much. The two hug, and it’s genuinely just a good, well done story of father and son that somehow gives even more dimension to Bob, an already pretty damn fleshed out character. Just a really great episode whose holiday timing makes it better.. though not being AS much a holiday episode as a really good bob’s burgers that’s enhanced by it is why this one’s so low. Next!

10. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (MST3K) I”m honestly surpised i’ts taken me THIS long to get to something MST3K related. I’ve loved the show since high school, first exposed to it thanks to a dvd from the library and continuing from there to present day. I love the show’s combination of riff’s on perfectly cheesy movie and fun skits with really good puppets especially for the budget. It’s just good comfort food in show form and no where is comfort food more welcome than christmas, and each era of MST3K, so far hopefully the show will come back again eventually, has had i’ts own damn good christmas special, with this being my faviorite out of the three. 

The other two are good: ironically I have a poster for the santa claus over my computer, or rather crow and tom as santa and pitch aka satan respectively. Yes really, that’s the premise. IT is as awesome and batshit insane as it sounds. Point is I like that one and year without a santa claus, this one just has more personal warmth to me. I jus tlove the holiday feeling of joel and the bots readying for christmas in the host segments. It just feels like christmas and it’s wonderful to see the bots act like kids.  That being said.. it’s still also fucking hilaroius, with the mad’s hilariously petty wish squisher, a device that turns good gifts into socks and other unwanted presents, the best Crow T Robot quote of all time as he gives joel his santa wish

And of course, one of the best and most patently insane christmas songs ever: Have Yourself a Patrick Swayze christmas, which has become oddly sweet after his death and got me to watch road house for the first time last year... and it’s as awesome and wonderfully rediclous as this song inspiried by it and even better once you get the refrences

But while the host segments are what push this film into the list, the movie is still a delightful bit of 60′s cheese as, to restore their children to being children, a couple of martians kidnap santa to bring christmas to mars. Fights iwth robots, an asshole martian and an obnoxious sidekick named droppo, yes really, insue. IT’s just some fun cheese for the holiday and a staple of my holidays. 

9. The Three Wise Men (Letterkenny)  It’s no secret Letterkenny has quickly become one of my faviorite shows. After watching it last January, it’s become part of my being and one of my go too feel good shows, a funny as hell, uniquely weird slice of life show set in rural canada. While like it’s fellow recent legend of canadian television Schitt’s creek it’s first season CAN be a bit rough.. but it’s not as rough and getting through it is worht it as the show immiedatly picked up and became one of the funniest things to ever exist. It’s also uniquely tied to christmas as every year a season of the show has dropped on that day on it’s home streamer Crave TV in canada, and on boxing day here in the us. So it’s only fitting the show also has a REALLY great christmas special. 

It’s Christmas eve and our heroes the hicks, are having a christmas party. For the uniniated the hick’s aren’t really all that “hick” ish just hardworking farmers who still accept everybody and work damn hard. Leading man, terse talker and certified badass Wayne is suprisingly really into christmas, as he spent pretty much every holiday spouting out inacuracies about it but this day? He genuienly enjoys, even insiting on awful holiday drinks only and a midnight toast, the titular three wiseman (Canadian, irish and American Whiskeys, one shot of each). “It’s tradition”.  And thanks to tradition we get the main gag of the episode: most of the episode is wayne calling in various members of the town, most of whom he dosen’t like very much and some who deeply annoy him, to give them presents. And  while i’ve admitted to being a guy who dosen’t like a plot that basically repeats itslef.. it works here.. mostly because while the setup is the same, each member provides something new and hilarious: while it starts innocently enough with Bonnie Mcmurray, local fanservice, nice lady and fangirl of wayne, getting a camera and offering to be an elf, an offer wayne is forced to take up, it soon becomes a parade of weirdness and bullshit Wayne really dosen’t want to put up with and that really makes me laugh hard: Local loveable sex maniac and bar owner Gail goes on for a good minute about her sexual antics with Wayne’s beloved departed uncle eddie after Wayne gives him a picture of the guy, Glenn, another of wayn’es unwanted admirers and local pastor, obsesses over a christmas themed digeredoo, local druggies and emos the skids intitally refuse to open their gift out of prinicpal until wayne simply asks “What if theres drugs in it” (It’s insted vitamin d), the local hockey coach sings a hilarious and gloriously cringe song about having sex with his wife when they were alive and the hockey players make wayne uncomfortable both by crying a bit. Also tanis gets an apron. 

But even if the reactions horrify or piss off our hero into needing his elf’s help, the heart is in the fact that despite hating most of these people, he still got them a gift and one that’s hearfelt and well meaning. And naturally the sweetest is saved for his family of choice with the hicks: Squirrely Dan gets a pencil case for his oft talked about women’s studies class, Dary gets some clonge since he wears his barn clothes everywhere, and Katy gets an obscure korean christmas movie since her subplot that episode had been spent trying to get a christmas movie going, only for everyone to pick it apart: from the racisim of santa and co towards rudolph to pointing out how profoundly fucked up the premise of the santa claus is (including the fact various serial killers could’ve gotten the suit), which I agree with, it’s just a sweet gesture that shows how well he knows his friend. Overall it’s just a fun hangout of an episode that feels like a real christmas party and in these troubling times we could all use that. Now let’s all have a spit.

8. The Feast of Alvis (Sealab 2021) Another Christmas staple for me.. and a gloriously strange one at that. This time we’re checking under the sea with Sealab 2021, one of the earliest adult swim shows and the blueprint for the abriged series format, it took a dry hannah barbara show about an underwater research station and remixed it into the antics of a bunch of idiots and lunatatics throughuly unequipped for the task. Except Dr. Quinn, the only sane person aboard.. most of the time. It was comedy gold courtsey of Adam Reed, creator of the later Frisky Dingo, a throughly underated show, and Archer, which is like Frisky Dingo but refined into it’s truest and most sucessful form. It was magical and just talking about it makes me want to talk about it again at some point, probably in a best of list.  So naturally this madcap energy was perfect for the holidays. Originally the crew planned to use ACTUAL religions for this, but were forced by network to change it.. which ended up being one of those cases where the network ended up actually making the right call as the creators instead created thinly veiled substute for the various religions... and centered it around Alavanism, which is christianity.. but if christ was instead born in the us at some point, and instead of being a pacifist, was a drunken beligernt gun loving redneck who shot a guy in the face, has “vengance is mine” as one of his quotes (from said face shooting) and still had pomp and circumstance as part of his holiday.  Helping this though is our Alvian for the evening is Captain Murphy, the series best character and often the center of it’s best moments, played by the wonderful and sadly late Harry Goz, a half crazed half chidlish cloud cuckoolander who often comes off like a demanding child in an old man’s body. So naturally this holiday is for him and even more naturally he’s holding a massive alvis day cermeony that’s as batshit as he and his religion are in the main deck: he’s got buffalo, a buffet that’s deeply unsanitary, and a hallogen light mimickign the alvistide star that he wants to plop a baby under.  Naturally no one else is happy about this. Well Stormy, local hilarious dumbass, is as the only other alvian on board for this, and a general sucker for dumb shenanigans but he’s so plastared he’s even less coherent than usual and can mostly muster the desire to kick something’s ass or a weak “shut up” Most of all Quinn and his girlfriend debbie, who point out religious tolerance is a part of the sealab charter and that this kind of grotesuqe celebration really isn’t in season. I’ts also a nice dig at “War on Christmas Assholes”, long before that was as big a problem with Muprhy very much being the asshole and his cleebration rapidly crumbling. He also attempts to fire Sparks for being a wiccan stand in so yeah he deserves it. It’s all capped in Muprhy getting visted by a drunken halucination of his lord. All in all easily one of the best and most insane christmas specials ever put to film. If you have HBO Max watch it today or tommorow you will NOT regret it. 

7. Arnold’s Christmas (Hey Arnold)  A classic of my childhood, Hey Arnold is one of the best animated shows period. It’s something i’m not shy about saying, I bleivie I said it in my thanksgiving list and i’ll say it quite a bit. It’s not PERFECT, it has it’s flaws.. but it’s still damn good and the golden standard for slice of life shows. 

This episode naturally is one of it’s best and, while I didn’t catch as a kid the signifigance or what this was about, touches on of all things the vietnam war and the children who were helicoptered out. In a heart destroying story, Mr. Winn, one of Arnold’s boardinghousemates, reveals he has a daughter he has no idea where she is as to give her a better life, he made sure she got on one of those helicopters as an infant. While he was able to immigrate later, he never found her. Arnold being our own personal jesus, refuses to let this stand and goes out of his way to figure it out and goes on a quest that seemingly ends in failure. It falls on Helga to save the day as Helga actually gets what she wanted from her parents, a pair of nice boots, and gets the rare moment where they actually acknoledge her.. but loving arnold and seeing the noblility in his quest.. she gives it up. Just to make someone elses’ dream come true. He may never know who did it and tha’ts okay. An utterly heartwarming and heartbreaking episode. Nuff said. 

6. Santa Claus is Comin To Town  Speaking of classics this is how you do a santa origin story. Not the first or last i’d see, and we’ll get to one of those in a moment. While i’m not a huge fan of Rankin Bass’ other big hit with Rudolph, this one really hits the spot for me and is only this low because it’s pacing is really slow at points. Otherwise this special is near flawless, looks good and holds up today.  As I said this is a good Year One for santa establishing how he became immortal, how he met the elves, he was raised by them, how he started giving out toys, how he met mrs claus you know all the stuff you’d ask about.  To me what really sells it the best though is Mickey Rooney as Santa. While I had no idea who played him till literally writing this article in my mind his earnesness, kindness and genuine nature just.. fit the old elf to me even as a young man and everything from his humble beginings to his wanting to help children just out of kindness to his teaching an old man to dance to his romance just feels.. genuine and warm like christmas should. It just makes me feel good and like others on this list.. FEELS like christmas if that makes any sense. Not a lot else to say. Burger Meister Meisterburger isn’t the best vilian, but it was the early 70′s and we weren’t quite to diamond levels of complex interesting villians just yet so fair enough. Baiscally I don’t have a TON to say about this special in short, I may review it next year, we’ll see, but  it’s really good, really fun and sometimes simple just works I guess? Speaking of stop motion..

5. Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas (Community) I love a good sitcom. I haven’t shared that love enough on here, I should try and change that at some point, but I do, as a fourth of this list should make crystal clear. So while sadly some of my faviorites like Brooklyn Nine Nine, Parks and Rec and Roseanne didn’t make the cut, Community thankfully did. Community is a show that’s really damn good and had THREE awesome Christmas episodes. All three, all winners and all in contention for some time. Regional Holiday music just barely didn’t make the cut. But ultimately I went with the best of the best, the most creative, most character driven, and most intresting. And the one that in Community’s traditional style, decided to take a spin on an old genre.  In this case Abed, the study groups resident pop culture junkie, guy who thinks in tropes and future Huey Duck, is seeing everything in stop motion and may get thrown out of school as a result. With his friends deeply worried, they turn to Greendale’s local psychologist and british areshole Professor Duncan, played by my spirtual father John Oliver. ALL HAIL THIS MAN

Duncan takes the two into Abed’s fantasy and thus into a rankin bass special where Abed slowly weeds out his friends and tries to get rid of Duncan, whose naturally only intrested in proving a case. It’s a fun, chaotic ride including christmas pterodactyls, and the cast all in bizzare forms based on what Abed thinks of htem. it’s really damn creative and beauitfully animated at that.  Naturally like most of these what clinches it is the heart and soul. We find out towards the end WHy this happened: Abed’s mom is spending christmas with her new family instead of him and it’s broken him to not be able to watch specials like they do> Thus the group rally behind their friend, beat duncan in a wonderful christmas number and watch specials with their buddy, as the weird ass family some of whom have or will make out, they are. 

4. A Charlie Brown Christmas With my love of comic strips and sentiment, it should suprise absolutely no one this is on here. I love peanuts and have only grown to love it more over hte years for it’s mealancholy, finely constructed cast and weird bits people forget about like Snoopy’s disco phase, that really damn good arc where his house burned down, his brother stealing his fiance only to have her stolen from him, the fact Lucy threw Linus out once, that peppermint patty was once held back a grade and her snores took her place at her desk, the fact there was a character named 5, Charlie Brown and Linus’ friend roy who introduced peppermint patty to the cast, the fact a character named crybaby boobie exists, the fact there are specials devoted to a pastiche of call of the wild, a friend of linus’ getting cancer, and Flashbeagle. Just flashbeagle. 

It is glorious. And I really need to add that to my review queue.. maybe for late january. Seriously, tis glorious. And I OWN this one. So yeah. What were we talking about? Oh yes the special that made all the specials, especially flashbeagle, possible: A Charlie Brown Christmas This one has always been part of my life, but even beyond it’s signifigance to me, having grown up with it and grafted it to my soul, it’s just .. good. It has some good commentary on the consumrisim of the holiday with Charlie Brown rightly a bit upset about it and ending up roped into directing a christmas play. Great gags, and charlie brown trying to stick up for a scragly tree no one enlse likes insue. Oh and scripture as this is probably the only overtly religious special on the list. Not that ther’es anything wrong with not being religious and celebrating christmas: i’m not anymore but I still do and while I respect people who celebrate the holiday int he spirit of christ I have none for people who bash anyone who dosen’t just see it religiously and whose over zealous about it. Your just as bad as war on christmas people and you should feel bad.  But yeah overal it’s just an inconic special whose clunkyness in production and audio just adds some charm to it. It shows it’s age.. but only in the animation and production values, which is just.. charming. It’s message is timeless, it’s characterization is perfect as you’d expect from peanuts in it’s prime, and i’ts ending is truly heartmelting. If you’ve never seen this one.. just go do that. I can wait. 

3. How Santa Stole Christmas! (Ducktales)  I”ll be brief on this one as, since it only aired a few weeks ago, i’ve already done a full review on it. But I will justify why such a recent special is this high up: because it’s just that good. It may of JUST been aired, but it’s as good as anything else here and age dosen’t matter. Quality does. There will likely be future specials worth this list i’m sure but for this moment in time this one earns it. It has Santa perfectly charactrized and tells an utterly heartrending story of friendship that ends up ending simply because the two are moving in opposite directions and of Scrooge learning the meaning of christmas. Not thorugh the ghosts, they already brilliantly messed with that one. It’s just really fantastic, gets the christmas spriit perfectly and uses the characters just as flawlessly. I will defintely be watching this one every year. Just a warm, creative, funny as hell special. 

2. Comfort and Joy (Justice League) Speaking of reviews I held off reviews of my final two so I could save more thoughts here. I probably still will review them eventually, especially this one, I just felt i’d be repeating myself or have to be brief like the last one. But yeah this one slaps. The Justice League cartoon is easily one of the best superhero cartoons, if not superhero properties, period. Taking the base already built in from the previous three dcau cartoons, this one builds out the world and expands it , and introduced a young me to my lifelong loves of Martian Manhunter, The Flash and especailly the green lanterns with John Stewarts badass reciting of the oath easily etched in my brain. The only reason he isn’t my faviorite lantern is because mogo exists.. aka the lantern that is a living planet. 

You can see why. But yeah Jon stuck in my mind. So it’s probably no suprise that the christmas special heavily featuring all three. It’s Christmas Time and after the league stops it’s usual disaster, they head off for their usual holiday activities. Batman and Wonder Woman are missing, but it’s fine. While I love both, especailly DCAU Batman, the episode is probably better off not trying to shove them in there just for the sake of it. One of the show’s greatest strength’s was character ballance, not forcing EVERY member of the big 7 into every episode and just using whose needed and shuffling them in and out FAR BETTER than say, Ducktales. Point is this, much like being loved by anyone, was not unusual and it makes the episode tighter. Even more so since this is the ONLY half hour episode in the first two seasons, the rest are basically hour long episodes split into two parters, though still paced for being two episodes so it’s good.. and three movie length three parters for the premire, and the season finales. Fun Fact: As a kid I missed starcrossed and thus had to find out second hand, and barely at that, why hawkgirl was gone at the start of unlimited. I still have not seen it. I will correct this eventually. It was a diffrent time. 

So yeah this episode not only has a main character cast of 6, with 3 other major supporting characters, but is handily split into three amazing plot lines. The first has Green Lantern try to teach Hawkgirl how to have christmas fun by playing on a snowy world, while Hawkgirl takes him to a bar to show how she celebrates.. i.e. getting hammered and starting a fight. Nanananana, she’s gonna start a fight. It’s a fun really sweet segment, and some nice ship tease between the two.  The other two though are what make this special.. not that the first one is bad these two are just really inspiried for the characters involved: For the Flash, who in this series is both Wally and a bit of a smug quipster.. we see beneath the ego and flirting he’s really a sweet, caring guy and spends his christmas finding a toy for the orphans in this case a rapping duck. 

Not QUITE as embarassing btu close. He runs into the Ultra Humanite whose destroying the toys because he hates the comercialism and how it dumbs things down for the kids. Have I mentioned that I love the Ultra Humanite? Because I do.. the animated version. The comics version is REALLY fucking creepy but this version? He’s fucking great, an intellectual whose a formidable threat.. and honestly sympathetic. His motive here, while misguided, is well meaning and his price for selling out the injustice gang and going back to jail quitely? one of the best gags in human history. Getting PBS to say “This program was supported by viewers like you.. and the ultra humanite” He’s just awesome and i’ts a shame he never returned for unlimited. His comic version, while not BAD is just.. not NEARLY as intresting or deep and I wish the comics would have him take after this version.  And that depth shows as once he learns what was going on, he willingly helps flash and simply reprograms the duck to recite the nutcracker. It’s a really nice gesture, that flash returns by giving his foe a christmas tree. Really good stuff.  And I saved the best for last. Heading home for the holidays, Clark takes Jonn with him since otherwise he’d be stuck at the watchtower and batman was apparnetly “Begging” for duty. Granted one wonders what his surrogate dad and adopted sons think but odds are alfred would just drag them up there anyway no mater how much Dick protested. And of course Alfred has watchtower clearance, he’s alfred: he’s the only one besides Diana looking out for bruce.. and no I don’t buy the bullshit from the batman beyond comics that never happened. And Clark too, this is true... but it takes a village to get bruce to go the fuck to sleep and most of that villiage is alfred. And if your wondering “wait won’t he be in danger”... the only thing that can kill this man is apparently bane. He’s survivied earthquakes, poisonings, turning into a supervillian via radaition induced crazies, yes really, apparently dying leading to the supervillian thing, being stabbed, being shot at, having to help raise damien... my point is the guy’s been through a lot in comics, I doubt the dcau version is any less resilent and god damn I miss this old man. Salute alfred, salute.  Where was I oh yeah, Clark insists on taking John home. And it’s stuff like this why I freaking love superman. Many dismiss him as corny, unrelaistic or boring.. all untrue. Sure he’s a boyscout, but he’s meant ot resprsent the best in mankind, what we can truly be powers or no, what we can achieve and the kind of moral, kind person we can be. He’s an inspiration for us all. And this kind of act is what shows that: his response to one of his friends having nowhere to go on christmas and not having been around the holiday? Take him to his house to share in the warmth and love.  And Clark’s parents here show WHY he’s the hero he is and why I freaking love them in all flavors.. except Zack Snyder flavor and even then tha’ts only for Pa “Letting people die is the right thing to do now i’m going to throw myself into a tornado to prove that” kent. But it’s christmas so i’m not here to bitch about zack snyder and if you want that in full, you can pay for it.  My point is they show, as they should how he became the moral paragon he is: they meet a man from mars, who they’ve never met and their son just invited.. and welcmoe him without a thought. While this isnt’ their first alien obviously, and they say so, it’s still really sweet they just warmly welcome the man in and give him their surrogate daughter/their sons’ biological cousin’s room while sh’es away. Oh Kara’s away conveniently skiing with barbra. Also she lives with them in this continuity. Also maybe that’s where dick is. I dunno, but I hope so. Dickbabs for life.. depending on the continuity. I”m still dick and star for life in the titans cartoon.  Point is we get nice of sweet, and hilaroius, holiday stuff: Jonn is suprised to see this side of clark: while he’s always warm and inviting as Clark.. he can also be relaxed, enjoy the holiday and get real spirited. For one day he dosen’t have to be superman. He can just be clark. Evne superman can take a day off.. and he’s superman, he desrves one. Let Bruce and Diana take care of it after they finish marathon sex and Diana finshes with Cheetaah and Maxwell lord.  But yeah as I was saying hilarious as we find out clark used to peak and they had to, and still do, line it with lead foil to make sure he can’t peak, and Martha gives John a sweater, saying his company is all they need for a gift and when it’s a bit big he charmingly grows into it. Jonn also walks among the humans a bit and we get a great little bit of him sneaking down a chimney after hearing the thorughts of a girl whose worried santa isn’t real. It’s just all great stuff that cumilates in Jonn joyfully singing a song in his native tounge while stroking Kara’s cat Streaky.. who sadly does not have a cape or super powers in this universe. Yet. Just a really good superhero story, a damn fine christmas story and one of the best episodes of a stellar show that thankfully is still remembered in this new age of heroes. 

1. It’s Christmas You Dorks (Harvey Beaks) Yup not probably a lot of people’s first choice but fuck it. I’ve loved this one since i saw it a few years ago shorlty after the series ended, having grown far behind and caught up just as it was ending... and regretted it as Harvey Beaks is easily one of my faviorite shows from the wall to wall hit parade that was the 2010′s. It’s charming, hilaroius, heartfelt, and creative.. and really weird if not as weird as CH Greenblaht’s previous show chowder.. but still weird enough.Thankfully Big City Greens is carying the banner for this kind of show, as is Craig of the Creek, so the kind of gentle, slice of life stuff hasn’t gone away, but this show was still it’s own thing and i’m sad it’s gone.  But while it was here it was spectacular and this is one of the best of em if not the best. And naturally for a show like this it has a neat approach: The episode is dialouge free, only having some singing in the last act and that’s diagetic, the characters singing a christmas song. We’ll get to that. This isn’t the FIRST silent christmas special i’ve seen, Courage the Cowardly dog did it’s own take on the nutcracker, but it’s still the best. And given Courage the Cowardly Dog is one of my faviorite shows, that’s high praise. Each segment is charming, unique, and well done. 

As for what each are: The wraparound is a gorgeously animated bit of stop motion or something like it where the spirit of winter goes around and turns fall to winter or helps the kid with winter fun. It’s a bunch of really adorable stuff. The first proper one is the kids having a snowball fight when a bunch of asshole adults interupt, and hte kids end up getting even by hiding in some snowmen. Again just some really fun, really well done stuff.  But the first one that really makes it follows Technobear, local wannabe ladies man in training who has a crush on Harvey’s mom and fantasies about giving her some lovely read shoes and skating with her. His hopes are dashed when instead her daughter michelle, the horrifing baby child pictured above, takes them instead. But not only is it heartwarming to see the stone faced future rule of the world crack a smile, Techno instnatly realizes whats’ improtant and takes the bby ice skating.  The next segment is just some goofy googus with the squirrels, the local crooks who are also squirreels, but it’s still pretty good. We then get Jeremy trying to be santa which is both funny but genuinely heartwarming and finally the best bit as Dade, local killjoy, gets annoyed at everyone singing a popular new christmas song instead of the old standard he likes and being a dick about it before softening a bit when Harvey genuinely offers him camradere. It’s just.. good stuff that’s hard to put into words, and given putting it into words is my thing, it really speaks to just hwo good this special is. it just, makes me feel nice, and really gets the spirit of the holiday in all it’s forms. It’s gorgeously aniamted, well paced, and never stops being entertaining and that’s why it’s both my faviorite and why every year.. i’ll be coming back to little bark. And if nothing else.. it’ll keep this warm, great show alive in my heart.  So with that I end this list. If you didn’t like it tha’ts fine, this is my opinon. But I wanted to share my faviorites with you and hope you’ll check them out this or next chirstmas. Until we meet again... Merry Christmas to all,and to all a good night. 

[itstheendofthegoddamnworld]

Skin-Walker/Nature Spirit Boyfriend: Daithi 2

I felt guilty last time when the first part ended with the death of a character (spoiler) so, I thought I would add more to it and try and bring a happier ending to it all. I hope you enjoy it.

Themes: death and mortality, moving on, all that depressing stuff.

Genderless reader x Male monster 

PART 1 

Can’t Pretend Part 2 

Skin supple once had aged like curdled milk, the roots of old flowers had brought them to the weeds, just like those and their faces you knew that grew up in their stages – growing then thriving then leaving - all the same, except you were the exception.

Life had been too cruel enough to make you stay to watch everyone leave around you, even when you hadn’t needed them a very long time ago.

Your child first, your womb had quickened into dust and quicksand, the bane of your existence to have a child with your husband and to thrive as a family was taken from you the first and last time; your womb a crypt for your babe that never made it out.

Your husband was next to leave: from when growing old together had brought the good and bad of memories, he was too frail to the end of it all, his lovely trinkets and fishing pole still left on the mantle where he had left it from his youth; the wedding present he had given.

Your days in matrimonial to Erik were sincere and fond, the bricks you both laid one by one to build a foundation of trust had stayed sturdy and upright after he left, the very existence of your home was an example of it all. Even during the building of your marriage, you found yourself thinking to your youth: to the times of thinking you were not desirable, more so now just cursed than lucky to outlive everyone.

Daithi… you thought of him a lot.

You awoke with your bone old and frail as usual, the heartfelt soreness made up for how you wrapped in bundles to fend off the eternal colds of the seasons, leaving with little more than a cane to get you out of your door. 

The nature surrounding you hadn’t changed, the people had – in the youthful children running around to young lovers - you kept yourself happy in the best ways as possible, even when everything felt futile.

You tottered but got around as best as you could even in the prime of age, your cane helpful to help you go to the clearing you had gone to many times before. Every day, without fail. 

The soil was cold but crunched with each step you took, the path had been covered over in snow and moss as you crossed the small river with its rickety old bridge you had seen built 3 decades ago. And still, no-one had repaired it.

Your head craned upwards suddenly when you heard a caw above your head just to see fly past two crows in a loving pairing, fly to their nest to feed their young. You frowned, your hopes too high once more.

You continued onward, ignoring all signs of what you wanted in it being him, staggering up the hill to reach the top, where the air was at its coldest and you were wheezing and cold.

“Even now, you would love how nothing has changed, Daithi.” You hummed to yourself, onlooking the rows of small stone huts that had been once made of straw and little else, the coal and fires that burnt out and danced above the treeline whilst you looked onward at the large lake.

“Do you remember Dalia? Well, she had her babes in the frail spring. Two boys, bright as rain and bold as fire. She says they always go out into these woods to climb the trees.” You laughed to yourself in thought, “I’d imagine you would give them a good scolding.”

You listened to how the air calmed and surrounded you as one as you leant over a lovely yet old oak tree, as old as you had been or even older, onlooking the view. “I always imagined what it would be like… the other side. How morbid, I know, but… even if it’s cold and lonely, I think—I’d like to think I’m ready.” You rubbed your slender fingers to keep the warmth as best as you could, wincing at the pain in your joints.

“What is it like, Daithi? Is it different for you or do you have all walks of life with you?” You found yourself here to think and pray, pray to any old cold God that was out there to hear your prayers, making you believe that your wishes were all for your own misery.

“I don’t even know if I will ever see you again, or Erik or mother. But that’s okay—I think, I’d like to believe that there is peace out there, away from all of this, and that you are all happy.” The cold nipped harder at your skin, leaving you practically shivering with little to no fibre in your body allowing you to move.

“Will these same cruel Gods be kind enough to give me closure? Is my time now, I wonder?” You closed your eyes, thinking back to the days of youth and skin supple and your legs carrying you long and far enough that you didn’t grow so tired.

You had been 10 when you remembered the distant memory: under a willow tree that wept tears with you, hiding you with its billowing leaves and branches, you cried that day over something so feebly that the other children had laughed over, leaving you to run as far off as you could away from your village that day – in hopes of running away altogether.

‘You know, if you had stayed five seconds longer, you would’ve witnessed a small crow threaten them all.’

Your head rose swiftly when you met the comforting smile and light eyes of the skin-walker, ‘Daithi!’ You beamed tears of silver that leaked down your face as you leapt into his arms, his long strong ones wrapping around your sturdily and protectively, never seeming to want to let you go.

‘You gave me quite the scare, little one,’ you breathed in his scent as he gently spoke to you, calming you down quickly, ‘I was worried about you.’ He inspected you of any wounds, except for a few scratches and bruises.

‘Did you do that for me? Did you scare them off for me?’ You whimpered whilst you dried your tears. Daithi seemed to be taken back by your question as if you didn’t believe his words at all. “My dear, I would risk my own life to save you, you know that, don’t you?’

You nodded innocently, not realising his words would seemingly come true. Did you risk your own life for me, Daithi? Why? You could still be living and breathing now, young and never ageing for aeons.

“Daithi, oh, Daithi, how I miss you.” The tears like that day fell down your wrinkly cheeks thickly, dribbling down your chin and dampening your shawl. “Life has been so cruel, and you were taken from me before I had the chance to love you truly. I miss you so.”

By the time you realised, the wind had stilled and there was no cold nor bite that stung your skin when you had been freezing earlier – in fact, you couldn’t feel anything at all. It wasn’t terrifying nor scary, but soothing and calming, as if you had been reunited with an old friend.

When you lifted your head in reaction and realisation to this, the sky had changed in colours, as if you had been up the hill all day, now a sky full of lavender and pink, milky clouds littering the sky in wonder and amazement.

Out of the corner of your eye, a lone ink-black feather floating to land just at the heel of your foot, drifting away in the thin air.

There, in the distance, the faint sound of a bird’s wings fluttering in the distance, a shriek of a caw echoing along the buoyant trees.

“Little one?” You turned your head abruptly, feeling no pain if you had done so earlier, your body picking yourself up as you looked to the person standing before you like a God. “Oh, Gods… it’s you.”

The nature spirit hadn’t looked any different but just as comely as you had remembered in your youth. His skin wasn’t sickly nor wan, no blood blotting your skin as he stood before you like an illusion.

“It’s you, how—it can’t be, not yet.” Were his words of shock as he stumbled his way towards you, gingerly holding out his hand as you brought him into a warm embrace.

“What do you mean ‘not yet?’” You questioned sombrely, “Do you know how many decades have gone by? And now you want me to leave?”

“No—no, I don’t, but it is not your time to leave.” He cradled you, and when you met his gaze, his eyes were glassy, as if the fog of his pupils were dissipating. He was taking you in, silently marvelling you, “You’re still incredible like I remember, little one.”

“What, even in my wrinkled state?” You laughed dryly, stroking his hair back, as smooth as if he was real. “Are you… dead?”

“Yes, but your memory of me has kept me alive all this time.” He smiled through his tears, “ I’ve been here with you all this time, watching you grow through the good and bad. I was there when you laughed when you cried, I never left.”

You finally allowed more tears to fall, your hands shakily trailing over his flesh, when he halted you. “But you cannot stay here, you must go back.”

“I do not want to, Daithi. Please, I don’t want to go back, not again. Never have I felt a day so warm here with you in front of me right now.” 

Daithi brought his fingers to cradle the back of your neck, his long fingers stroking at your jaw. “Are you sure?”

“Is it… terrifying?”

“No, I don’t think so,” he assured you in what you believed was acceptance, “look around you, dear. Everything has to die soon: the little flowers, the trees, those of your village. But there are things that still stay, the moon, the sun, the rain that doesn’t stop dripping. The fear eventually stops, and the calm comes after the storm. And it’s beautiful.”

You smiled sadly, breathing in his scent of mint and pine. “If this is what the afterlife is like then, why would I want to leave so soon?”

Daithi smiled in comfort, hugging you back with no intention of letting you go. “It’s been too long, dear.”

You nodded, and when your hand came to cradle his fingers, you found yourself looking to the flesh of your own. Your skin was no longer wrinkly and there was no joint pain: your skin was smooth and supple once more, the sudden realisation had taken a toll on you as you leant up to kiss the skin-walker against his lips. “I know, but I’m here now.”

Warm, reassuring and tender. You had missed him so.

[angelhummel]

So I saw a post about the eras of the Glee fandom and I am in the Resurgence Era. I began watching the show back in May 2020. I know people like to make fun of the show a lot, and I totally understand, but I unironically enjoy this show. Well maybe not a majority of S4-S6, but I like the music, the comedy, the heartfelt moments, the zany characters. But I can also see how even in the early seasons, which people hail as Glee's Peak, how it could have been better. (1/?)

With the exception of a few song changes and polishing clunky dialogue, there isn't much I would change in S1 or S2 (although I would cut down on the cheating plotlines in S2). S3 should have been about the club finally being unified with almost no infighting, and they shouldn't have tried to cram so many PSAs into one season AND Santana's coming out story should have had more focus than it got (and it should have been handled more sensitively period) But the music in S3 still rocked.

In S4-S6 I can see almost exactly when people began dropping from the fandom and I understand why. S4 through S5 (especially S5) seemed to be flailing for some sense of direction with the characters and juggled too many nonsensical (and often tone deaf) storylines for it to be coherent. S6 saved it from ending disastrously, but by then it was too late to truly save the show. Not to mention Ryan Murphy's unprofessionalism leading to actor drama and just butchered story lines.

But I can see how the show could progressed coherently and satisfyingly. In S3-S4 the New Directions should have become the champions for the underdogs. In S4 with most of them graduating, they should have had the theme of branching out into the big world beyond their small, closeminded town in Ohio. S5 could have been them getting too big for their britches and then failing because of arrogance. Then S6, they go back to Lima as a humbling reminder of where they started.

In S6, with the allotted 22 episodes they should have had, they could have started up the Glee club again, and be reminded why they joined in the first place. It makes me sad that bad writing and Ryan Murphy's unprofessionalism tanked a show that had all the groundwork for being absolutely amazing. Glee is many things: wacky, musical, bizarre, heartfelt, frustrating, insensitive, sometimes all those things in the same episode, but when it was good, there was nothing else like it.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

I mean that last plot is basically what they tried to do but just with Rachel while everyone puttered around for ten episodes before they wrapped all the pointless crap up. I mean I was never a fan of them having to go back to Ohio in the final season just bc they’d already done it multiple times by then and it’s like can we please see something new?? All I wanted for the last two seasons was all my faves and a few guest stars in NY lmao. It’s still an ensemble show with like 7-10 characters and some good guest stars, right?? 

Also like I’ve sort of said this before lately but. S2 is a hot damn mess. If you didn’t have Kurt or Klaine and you didn’t have Santana or Brittana?? That season would be nothing lol. Maybe it’s just me but idk all the het nonsense that season really drags it down for me. And s3 is fucking awful but that’s what so many people cite as their favorite. Which to me it just proves that people talking about “it was really good at first then sharply declined when everyone graduated” is complete bullshit and it’s just people looking at the seasons they actually watched through rose colored glasses and just saying it got 100% when they stopped being interested in it. 

And I swear I’m not trying to just shit on everything you’re saying lmao but again people saying s3 had the best music of all but like. I dunno I think DWS had the best music and was the best actual tribute ep. Michael also had really good performances. Then there’s maybe five other performances I’d put in the iconic tier lol. Idk I think it’s overrated all around and I just hate s3 so damn much (: But yes it does have some good music

But anyway your last paragraph. If I could rewrite Glee with 20/20 hindsight I would have the s4 and s6 newbies switch. So the new and interesting characters for s6 are introduced earlier and actually bring something new to the table. And then in s6 we get the wannabe copies of the oldies so that when all the alums are there, they pick out the person that reminds them most of their high school selves to mentor them. So like Thanksgiving but for like half the season or whatever lol. And it’s like sweet and nostalgic for them to sort of see themselves at the start of their friendship again and to give everyone the advice they wished they knew back in the day. Stuff like that. Could’ve been cute

And idk I don’t agree with everyone else saying s5 sucked lol. I mean obviously one of the contributing factors to the strangeness and sloppiness was one of their main characters dying and having to write around that. And poor Sam having to fill Finn’s crap shoes and become Finn 2.0 and I think you can see that best with the nurse Penny stuff. But idk I mean there’s twerking and puppets which are nonsensical and only one of those things comes off as tone deaf to me. I don’t think it’s as bad as people wanna say. But after the boringness of them coming back to Ohio for the glee club in the middle of the season?? And then my favorite characters are in NY after that?? Those are some of my absolute favorite episodes. I mean I’m in my top 40 glee ranking episodes and I’ve got 5 eps just from the back half of season five to go. I love it. It’s some of my favorite Glee

Although I still agree that s1 is the best. And that’s with the show focusing mainly on Mr. Schue, Finchel, and Quick. And I still adore it as much as I do. Season one really is something special. I mean just about every season is like watching a different show. And no one is going to agree on what they like best or why. But idk I’m just glad everyone in the fandom has something to hold onto. 

[westannatasharomanoff]

THG AU Chapter 24

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3     Chapter 4    Chapter 5    Chapter 6 Chapter 7   Chapter 8   Chapter 9  Chapter 10   Chapter 11 Chapter 12  Chapter 13 Chapter 14  Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17  Chapter 18 Chapter 19   Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22  Chapter 23  

*Natasha, Maria, Wanda, Pietro, Alexei, Melina, Liho, and Fury were on the train to The Capitol. *

Pietro: This is so cool! Was it like this for you the first time you left 12?

Wanda: No. I was terrified. But the train ride home was mesmerizing. 

Pietro: If the wedding is anything near as beautiful as this train ride, it’s going to be amazing. 

Melina: I can’t believe my little girl is actually getting married! It seems like just yesterday that we found you in the snow while packing up the old house!

Alexei: Tomorrow is a big day! Are you ready? 

Natasha: I’m a little nervous. 

Maria: You’ll be fine. 

*Meanwhile, Bruce, Vision, Tony, Pepper, and Morgan had arrived in The Capitol several hours before. *

Tony: You are going to love married life. Tying the knot was the best decision I ever made. 

Bruce: I’m just so nervous. 

Tony: I was nervous too, but it was so worth it.  *a train arrives* Hey, look, a train! Do you think that’s her?

Bruce: No. That train has the District 5 emblem. Thor’s here!

Tony: Who? 

Thor: Greetings. I’m Thor. *shaking everyone’s hand*  

Vision: I’m Vision.

Tony: Tony. Tony Stark. 

Pepper: I’m Virginia, but you can call me Pepper. *points at Morgan* And this is Morgan, she’s our two year old daughter. 

*They all talked for a bit longer, but once the train got there from 12, everyone was rushed to their rooms to get ready for the rehearsal dinner.* 

Gamora: *pulling out a floor length, A- line black dress* Since you are wearing white tomorrow, it is customary that you wear black to the rehearsal tonight. Your dress tomorrow is a ball gown, so it might be harder to walk in.

Natasha: Don’t worry about me, I’m pretty agile. I just wish I had some say in any of this. I haven’t even heard of half of these traditions. 

Gamora: Well, at least your father isn’t forcing you to design dresses and marry President Snow’s nephew. 

Natasha: That’s rough. Anyway, what is a rehearsal dinner? Nobody has explained it yet 

Gamora: Oh! Everyone practices walking down the aisle and then you have a big fancy dinner.

Natasha: How fancy?

Gamora: Formal wear, place settings, proper etiquette, 5 courses, and like a bajillion forks.

Natasha: That sounds really over the top. 

Gamora: Just wait until tomorrow! Cameras, a big poofy dress, uncomfortable shoes, flowers, high class guests who you’ve probably never met, crazy fancy decorations, a dinner ten times fancier than the one tonight, and a big party with music and *shudders* dancing. 

Natasha: What’s wrong with dancing?

Gamora: I just don’t like it. I once embarrassed myself while dancing by tripping in front of everyone and dancing brings back all of those memories. 

Natasha: Dancing might be the only tolerable thing about all of this. Besides, you know, being married to Bruce.

Gamora: I’m glad you’re excited.

*The rehearsal dinner went pretty well. Natasha and Bruce had to give speeches because of a Capitol traditions, but they were very heartfelt. That night, Natasha had a really bad nightmare. When she woke up, she felt like she couldn’t move. It wasn’t until after Wanda and Maria burst into her room that she realized she was screaming. *

Maria: What?! What is it?!

Wanda: Did you have another nightmare?!

Natasha: Yes! It was a bad one! I can’t- I need- I-. *sigh* I need some air.

 * She ran out onto her balcony and looked up. Back in District 12 she could usually see a whole sky of stars, but in The Capitol that night, only one was visible. She just wanted to go home. *

*The next morning*

Wedding planner: Wake up! Rise and shine! Today is the big day!

Gamora: I’m sorry to bother you so early, but guess who’s doing your hair, nails, and makeup. *Peter, Drax, and Mantis wave* Remember these guys?

Natasha: Oh, it is so great to see you all again! What have you been up to? 

Drax: I got promoted again. I do makeup for District 5 now. 

Mantis: My girlfriend and I went to the carnival last week and it was awesome! Oh I love saying that word! Girlfriend. *bounces up and down happily*

Gamora: *whispering to Natasha* She means my sister.

Peter: I’ve been trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. Maybe I’ll try to be an ambassador to the districts like Gamora. No, that sounds boring

Gamora:  Anyway, Natasha, here’s your dress. *She pulls out a poofy white ball gown with spiderweb lace on the top and a tulle skirt*

Mantis: Go put it on!

*Natasha put on the dress. Mantis curled her hair and put in a veil with red flowers adorning it and held in place by a small tiara. Her lipstick was blood red, just like the bridesmaids dresses. her shoes were also white and her nails were red.* 

Natasha: Whoa. I look like-

Mantis: A cupcake?

Drax: A fashion icon?

Peter: A bride?

Gamora: A murder princess? 

Natasha: No. I look like I’m missing something. *puts on the locket Bruce gave her before her games* Wait, What do you mean “murder princess?”

Gamora: You know, like a princess from an old fairy tale, but less helpless. Which reminds me, here. *hands her an ornamental dagger* Put this in your garter. 

Natasha: Thanks! 

* Bruce was also getting ready. His suit was black and his groomsmen were wearing dark grey. * 

Bruce: I can’t believe today is the big day! I love her so much. What if I mess this up?

Tony: You’ll be fine. Now come on! You need to finish getting ready!

*The ceremony was perfect and they got married. Although, Natasha couldn’t help but feel like something wasn’t right. There were so many cameras watching them. The dinner was fantastic. It was the best food most of the wedding party had ever eaten. The wedding just didn’t feel right for them. All of that was forgotten when they got to the reception. Bruce and Natasha shared the first dance, and then Tony and Wanda gave their speeches. The party was a lot of fun, and Wanda danced with Vision pretty much the whole night.  Natasha and Bruce were exhausted that night. They fell asleep cuddled together and it was really hard for them to go their separate ways in the morning, but they managed it. The train left for District 3 very early.Two hours later, as everyone was getting on the train back to 12, President Snow himself pulled Wanda and Natasha aside.*

Snow: Did you know that District 3 and District 12 are the two furthest districts from each other in Panem? People from 3 and 12 are never meant to meet. *showing photos of Bruce and Natasha as well as photos of Wanda and Vision* Imagine the surprise the people of Panem would feel if they saw not one, but two couples between people from the two least united districts in our great country. Fortunately, we’re solving that problem.

Natasha: What do you mean? 

Snow: Why don’t you check the news once you get home? In the meantime, *hands each of them a wilting white rose* just remember that nothing truly beautiful is ever meant to last. 

* Meanwhile in District 3, Tony is helping Bruce pack his things.*

Tony: *crying* I can’t believe you’re moving to District 12! I’m going to miss you so much!

Bruce: I know, I’ll miss you too. The thing is, I love Natasha and this is really exciting for us. I can’t wait to spend every day with her and have a family and *BOOM* What was that?

Tony: I have no idea. *sirens start going off* Are those... air raid sirens?

Bruce: They are! Get to the storage room!

*Tony and Bruce run into the basement storage room of the lab, huddle under a table, and close their eyes. *

*BOOM*

[x1-imaginesreturns]

1000 Followers + Mutual Appreciation Post!!

IT’S HERE MY DUDES I HAVE ACTUALLY REACHED 1000 FOLLOWERS

To my lovely and amazing followers: Thank you so much for always being so supportive and looking out for posts and imagines whenever they come out!! thank you for actually following me and putting up with my weirdass self. But I’m so grateful for each and every one of you, and I hope you’ll all stick around with me as long as I’m here! 

And shout out to my 1000th follower: @thelifeofamultistan!!

And finally, to my amazing and talented and beautiful and just absolutely spectacular mutuals!!!!:

@lovingyun: G A B B Y I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU SM GABBY I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOU THANK YOU FOR BEING MY BEST FRIEND EVER I’M SO GRATEFUL FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND ALL OF THE MEMES YOU HAVE SENT ME ALWAYS BRIGHTEN MY DAY AND I PROMISE YOU I’M TRYING TO GET A GOLF CART SO WE CAN YEET ACROSS THE COUNTRY ON ROLLER COASTERS AND I JUST APPRECIATE YOU SO MUCH GABBY I LITERALLY LOVE YOU THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK AND STREAM UNDER THE ROSE

My bouquet for you: Geraniums and Hydrangeas!

Geraniums: True Friendship

Hydrangeas: Gratitude for Being Understood, Heartfelt Emotion

This bouquet from me to you shows my gratitude for everything you’ve done for me. You’re always there for me when I need it and understand me even when I can’t understand myself. 

@choi-yeonjunz: Eunhee thank you for being amazing and kind in literally every way, shape, and form, you’re literally the sweetest person I know!!! I’m so flattered that you’re always so excited about everything I post and how you compliment and support me on everything it makes me UWU!! Your writing has come really far recently, and I’m so proud!!

My bouquet for you: Narcissus and Smilax!

Narcissus: Stay as Sweet as you are

Smilax: Loveliness

This bouquet from me to you shows my desire for us to keep being friends! And for you to keep the positive attitude and sweet personality you have for as long as you’re here. 

@multi-yang: Eunji you are the absolute best! Thank you for being so supportive when some people decide to try and mess with me. We both know that somehow most of the kids I find myself around are always trying to test me, and I always appreciate your witty and understanding remarks! Your writings are always amazing, I love when they pop up into my feed!!

My bouquet for you: Alstroemeria and Yarrow!

Alstroemeria: Friendship

Yarrow: Everlasting Love

This bouquet from me to you shows my gratefulness for your supportive friendship. I hope we can be friends forever!

@seunguwusss: MJ you are just a spectacular hooman being!! Thank you for always being supportive and willing to fight Andrew cause he can’t get things through his thick head apparently. But I love all of our interactions because it makes me uwu bc you’re so sweet owo… and your writings maKE ME OWO

My bouquet for you: Stock and Amaryllis!

Stock: You’ll Always be Beautiful to me

Amaryllis: Worth Beyond Beauty

This bouquet from me to you shows my admiration for your constant kindness and beauty. Your friendship to me means a lot and I hope you know that you are beautiful!

@pettyminhee: I always enjoy the little conversations we have!! I hope we can continue to talk more! Your writings and stories are top tier as well!

My bouquet for you: Yellow Roses and Lemon Balm!

Yellow Roses: Friendship

Lemon Balm: Sympathy

This bouquet from me to you shows that I wish to become better friends! And that I have shared sympathy for our pimple struggles cnonwocnown

@naomisimagines: You are literally the cutest Naomi! I’m glad I found a fellow passionate kpop and Pokemon fan!! I love talking to you about Pokemon and our favorite boys. And your writing is spectacular!! I hope we can keep talking more!!

My bouquet for you: Sunflowers and Yellow Tulips!

Sunflowers: Adoration

Yellow Tulips: Sunshine in your Smile

This bouquet from me to you shows my adoration for you kind nature, which leads me to believe you probably have the cutest smile ever!!

@chajvnhos: I’m so glad we became friends! I know we haven’t talked much recently, but I hope you are doing well! Not only are you an amazing writer, you’re also really talented at drawing! I hope we can talk more soon!!

My bouquet for you: Coreopsis and Gerbera Daisies!

Coreopsis: Always Cheerful

Gerbera Daisies: Cheerfulness

This bouquet from me to you shows how I see your bright personality!! I appreciate all of the compliments you’ve given me and it’s always nice to hear from you again!

@minheefreckles: I know we only recently started to get to know each other, but I’ve loved getting to know you! We should definitely continue getting to know each other!! Your writings always blow me away and I’m glad we’re friends.

My bouquet for you: Azaleas and Freesias!

Azaleas: Take Care

Freesias: Thoughtfulness

This bouquet from me to you shows how I hope you are taking care of yourself and are doing well, even when we don’t talk. Keep up the great work!

@junhosworld: Thanks for reaching out to me (and for that anon pointing out your story)! You are so talented and kind and I love talking to you about all the rude people at our schools, we should certainly talk more once I’m officially on break!! Your writings… beyond amazing!! 112/10

My bouquet for you: Lavender Heather and Wallflowers!

Lavender Heather: Admiration

Wallflower: Faithfulness in Adversity

This bouquet from me to you shows how I wish for the two of us to continue being friends, even when times become difficult and we can’t talk much. And to stay strong when the people around us are bein wack.

@junholy: Eliza we haven’t talked in forever, but I appreciate you!! I’m sorry I’ve been so busy, but thank you for being a great and supportive friend! I look forward to hearing how you’re doing! And your writings are absolutely spectacular, I’m sad I didn’t discover you sooner!

My bouquet for you: Ivy and Myrtle!

Ivy: Friendship

Myrtle: Good Luck

This bouquet from me to you shows how I wish I had more time to talk to you to upkeep our friendship, but that I am also wishing you well in the times when we can’t talk much.

@leeeunsangs: Vyvi you are the absolute cutest!!!! uwu the svt world tour is coming up soon and I can’t wait to meet you there! You are a dancing queen! Thank you for being so kind to me when I first came here to tumblr. I hope you are doing well and I cannot wait for your next writing/dance cover so I can tell you how absolutely amazing it is!! 

My bouquet for you: Coral Roses and Coriander!

Coral Roses: Friendship

Coriander: Hidden Worth

This bouquet from me to you shows how much I treasure our friendship! You are worth so much more than you know, not just to me, but to others as well. 

@seungwoowonit: Thank you for being so, so, so supportive!! It means the world that you give me your support! I promise I’ll talk to you again soon, as soon as I am on break! 

My bouquet for you: Pink Carnations and Leaf Roses!

Pink Carnations: I’ll Never Forget you

Leaf Roses: Hope

This bouquet from me to you shows that I’ll never forget your everlasting support and hopeful attitude when it comes to everything. And that I hope we will become better friends as time goes on!

[crmediagal]

Update!!!

To those who may be interested: I’ve resumed posting my WIP fic, Seeds of Redemption, at my personal website: www.crmediagal.com. I had deleted the story on fanfiction.net and Archive of Our Own last year due to unnecessary negativity, so I’m happy to share that the story is BACK in full force (pun intended), being revised, and updates have resumed!

* * * If you would like to receive updates and access to the story, please fill out the form on the Contact page and you’ll be granted access! * * *

Story: Seeds of Redemption

Synopsis: The First Order may have fallen, but the Proclamation has   risen in its stead. As the galaxy is threatened by the coming of a   Second Darkness, Ben Solo must painstakingly navigate both sides, the   Dark Side and the Light. Only he is no longer alone in this fight, with far more at stake to lose than he ever would have dreamed. Rated M, AU, Post-TFA.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15 *NEW!*

Excerpt from Chapter 15:

Rey eased her dozing daughter into an upright position and placed her carefully against her chest. The baby squirmed a little in her arms but soon resettled herself comfortably, breathing softly upon her mother’s neck and not reopening her eyes, even as Rey proceeded to pat her back for several minutes more.

Rey nuzzled Astrid’s tiny cheek and noted the milk stain running down the side of her mouth. She wiped the remnants away with a towel and a smile, quietly humming as she continued burping the girl safeguarded in her protective fold.

Beside her, her husband snored at the ear-splitting level that he always did, particularly on his first night home from another intense spy mission: as bloody loud as the Millennium Falcon’ s rip-roaring engine itself. It amazed Rey that any of their children—at least, when they were wee ones and required night feeds such as this—could sleep a wink alongside Ben when Rey could barely manage it. She glared at the enormous lax form beside her, presently out cold on his stomach with his bare feet dangling over the edge of the bed, and anticipated that she wouldn’t be returning to a dreamland herself anytime soon.

Rey had been awake and nursing their third child for a half hour or so, but she rarely minded these sleep-deprived moments. They were precious to her, despite when she was dead tired and running on nothing but fumes, for they offered her a heartfelt reminder of all she had struggled to find in life: a sense of belonging; a family of her own.

By some miraculous stroke of luck (Rey didn’t believe in Fate), Rey had attained a warm and cosy home life since lonely, isolating early days spent as a scraggy orphan on Jakku’s desert terrain, where she had grappled to survive day to day on her own, without nurturing, parental guidance…or love. This current life left the Force sensitive in a constant state of wonderment, for awaking beside a devoted husband and three healthy, active children who loved her left the Jedi needing to pinch herself just to ensure that it was real. And it was. It was no longer a wishful fantasy that had lived for longer than she cared to admit in her head; in a dream world.

Now that she had tasted its utter sweetness and completion, she wouldn’t dare let go. Not ever.

Ben suddenly twitched in his sleep and mumbled something unintelligible, bringing Rey’s thoughts back to the present. She turned to the slumbering lump of a man next to her, who was mostly hidden beneath a pile of blankets, and reached over to brush a thick curl out of his closed eyes. They instantly fluttered open, though only halfway.

“Mmm?” he moaned into his pillow, recognising Rey’s touch in the darkness and quickly determining that all was safe and sound. He closed his eyes.

“Hey,” Rey whispered, running her fingers tenderly through his overgrown locks, “you were dreaming. Nothing bad, I hope?”

Ben grumbled what sounded like a ‘No’ and lazily roamed in the shadows for Rey’s arm. “Astrid go back down?” he asked once his hand found her waistline, feeling reassured and secure.

Rey smiled. “She’s here, love.”

Ben’s eyes lifted once more to soak in what was, to him, always a breath-taking vision: his wife, with all her dishevelled brown hair tumbling down her back, dressed in a beige, see-through nightgown—it’s one sleeve was drooped over a naked shoulder, which Ben found sexy as all getup—and angelic child snuggled against her for warmth. He was too fatigued to full-out smile, but the appreciative expression that crossed his weary, dark irises conveyed their regard, no less.

Although his entire body ached in objection, Ben rose onto his elbow and leaned in to properly kiss Astrid’s forehead. The baby made a small squeak but remained fast asleep. He thoughtfully glanced at Rey, too, and his warm lips inched forward until they were ghosting over top of hers. She pushed back against them, deepening and prolonging the exchange.

“I love you,” he murmured once their lips parted. It was a sluggish, half muttered declaration but profound. Ben then reclined into Rey, draped his large arm across both Astrid’s back and her waist, and drifted back to sleep within seconds, snoring as obnoxiously loud as before.

Rey snorted, amused, and rubbed a hand up and down his back. Ben didn’t stir this time. She pressed a light kiss to the top of his head as well, her lips curling into a loving smile as she spoke softly into the night air, “We love you, too.”

She knew she ought to shimmy out of bed and return Astrid to her crib, but Rey no longer wished to move from this cushy, intimate position, sandwiched between two of her greatest loves: her husband and child. No, she concluded before shutting her eyes and praying for a little bit of rest, I’m never letting go.

Available to read in its entirety at www.crmediagal.com

[mycarlydotcom]

Top 10 iCarly Episodes:

Well, coming off the heels of re-watching iCarly in it’s entirety, again, I feel it suitable to reflect on what I feel are the best episodes in the series. Keep in mind, these choices are just my personal opinion. This is all in good fun, so if you disagree, share what your favorite episodes are. I’m not gonna break down everything that happens in each episode, there’s no need. If you’re reading this, you’re already an iCarly fan, and know the episodes. I’ll just be listing my choices, and discussing why I chose each one. So, lets get started…

Honorable Mentions: iFence, iBloop, and iLost My Mind

There are honestly plenty more episodes that can be talked about here, but for the sake of keeping things as concise as possible, I narrowed this section down to three.

Season 1, Episode 22: iFence

This was originally in my top 10 when I was choosing my list, but in the end, it was edged out by what actually made the number 10 spot. This episode is funny, charming, and all around enjoyable. Even this early in the series, it was a nice change in formula to see Freddie take center stage. I’m also a huge a sap for any kind of heartfelt interactions between characters, and there is a brief, platonic one between Carly and Freddie during this episode that totally hits that soft spot for me. I’m also the biggest supporter of the Sam and Freddie pairing, so the moment where Sam is cheering on Freddie while he’s fencing his rival is my favorite thing ever.

Season 3, Episode 14: iBloop

Just a fun watch. I honestly wish they did more of these throughout the series. One per season would’ve been a nice treat for the viewers. I know there is a squeal in the latter seasons, but it’s not quite as good. Regardless, seeing the actors who play our beloved characters, goofing off on set, and flubbing their lines is just fun. I love it.

Season 5, Episode 1: iLost My Mind

This last honorable mention is probably not gonna be a popular choice, but it’s my list so whatever. I know, the “Seddie” arc is not remembered fondly by most iCarly fans. Heck, even some of the biggest “Seddiers” out there don’t like it, and I agree that the arc is poorly executed; but, I don’t think the whole thing is bad. It spans across five episodes, from iOMG to iLove You, and in my personal opinion, the arc is good until the third episode, iDate Sam and Freddie. It falls off a cliff from there on, but I’m adamant in my choice to include iLost My Mind as an honorable mention. All in all, this is an overall cute episode, with a sweet ending, and like I mentioned earlier, I’m a total sap for that stuff. That said, it could be a lot better, and that’s why it didn’t crack the top 10.

Alright, now that we’ve gotten the honorable mentions out of the way, let’s move on to the top 10…

10. Season 6, Episode 10: iRescue Carly

I know, I know, this is an odd choice to include. It’s one of the last few episodes in the series. Around this time it was very apparent that the show was winding down. The episode plots were weaker, the bloom was off the rose, and iCarly’s best days were admittedly in the rear view. That said, the show was still one of the most popular shows on Nickelodeon. It may not have been in it’s prime anymore, but it still delivered an enjoyable product to the fans that loved it. But why did I choose to include this episode specifically? Why did it edge out some arguably better episodes from when iCarly was at it’s peak? I’ll tell ya why. Sam Puckett.

It’s no secret that I love the Sam Puckett character, and this episode is nice culmination of the wonderful girl we get to watch her blossom into throughout the series. When we are first introduced to Sam, she is essentially an irritable bully who is mean to most people, except for Carly. At first, it’s even questionable as to why Carly considers this troublesome delinquent to be her best friend; which Carly even acknowledges in the very first episode. But as the series progresses, we learn that Sam isn’t a bad kid, she’s just a little rebellious is all. It’s acknowledged that she grew up without a father, a dysfunctional mother, and a perfect twin sister that most people prefer over her. Her attitude and demeanor is the byproduct of the surroundings in which she grew up, but underneath that rough exterior, Sam has a heart of gold.

The aggressive behavior she often displays can easily be interpreted as a defensive mechanism to protect herself. She has plenty of acquaintances, but doesn’t truly let many people get close to her, and that’s by design. At the start of the series, Carly, and by association, Spencer are the only ones shown to have a legitimate connection with Sam. Freddie would forge that connection shortly thereafter, as the two transition from enemies, to frenemies, to friends, and Gibby would also follow suit later on; but Sam’s inner circle doesn’t really stretch beyond that.

As we follow the rebellious blonde throughout the series, we are made privy to a plethora of moments where Sam drops her guard and displays her compassionate side. This episode captures that side of her beautifully, as she goes to extreme measures to protect her friends, especially Carly. It’s a nice bow on top of her character arc, as we see just how much she’s grown.

9. Season 2, Episode 7: iChristmas

Carly’s miniature arc of taking what she had for granted in this episode is wonderfully told. It has a good message while still skillfully sprinkling in the comedy the show is known for. My favorite thing about this episode is how it displays just how important Carly was to everyone around her. She is the literal glue that holds everyone together, which is made very apparent at the end of series when she leaves for Italy.

8. Season 2, Episode 20: iTwins

Turns out Sam has a twin sister who doesn’t live at home. She is the opposite of Sam in every possible way; she’s well behaved, gets good grades, she’s super friendly, and is a total girly-girl. Honestly, based on what we know, she is the total antithesis of not only Sam, but their entire family.

In this episode we are introduced to Melanie Puckett. What a totally fun concept this was. It’s honestly baffling that they never revisited the Melanie character. She is seldomly mentioned after this episode, but we are never graced with her presence in the series again. I would’ve loved to see her to become a reoccurring character. There was so much potential for fun plots involving her; but even in a one off episode, she left a lasting impression, and secured this episodes’ spot in the top 10.

7. Season 2, Episode 17: iReunite with Missy

Much like I mentioned during number 10, there are a plethora moments in the series where Sam drops her guard, and this episode is chock-full of that. It’s heartbreaking when Sam realizes she can’t do anything to stop Missy’s evil plan to steal Carly as her best friend. The “I’m her best friend,” line Sam shoots in response to Missy during the Groovy Smoothie scene gets me every time. She legitimately sounds upset, and is practically helpless in the moment. Then there is scene towards the end where Carly finds out the truth about Missy, and reconciles her best-friendship with Sam. It’s there we are shown again that Sam has a huge heart buried beneath her attitude when she forgives Carly despite having every right to be upset with her.

This episode is also a total smorgasbord of Sam and Freddie moments too, and I can’t help myself, I love it. From their little spat at the start of the episode to Sam at her most vulnerable when she comes to Freddie for help with the Missy situation, it’s just swimming in cuteness between them. Then of course, it’s revealed at the end that Freddie did help Sam without telling her, and it gives me all the feels. The “You care about Sam,”  moment in which Carly calls him out for helping Sam is just my favorite thing.

Maybe I’m a little bias because this episode is so centered on my favorite character, but I don’t care, it’s just great.

6. Season 1, Episode 5: iWanna Stay with Spencer

Starting to notice a trend? Like I mentioned earlier, I’m a sucker for the episodes with sappy, mushy, heartfelt moments in them, and you’ll see that continue throughout this list. This episode hits me right in feels as we just how strong the bond is between Carly and her brother, Spencer. It’s incredibly touching when Spencer is giving his Granddad the rundown of how to properly take care of Carly, and I always get a kick out of the “dinosaurs are cool,” line when Spencer mentions he only gives Carly dinosaur shaped vitamins.

5. Season 4, Episode 9: iOMG

Oh the “Seddie” arc…yes, it’s bad. There are just so many issues with how Sam and Freddie’s relationship was written. If you’re a supporter of their romance like myself, you know how unbelievably frustrating it was to see how terribly the writers fumbled their story. It was exploited merely for shock value, and the actual story that deserved to be told was never a priority. But despite the major issues within the arc, this episode that kicked everything off was wonderful.

In the honorable mentions section, I stated that I think the arc is actually good until the third episode, iDate Sam and Freddie, where everything starts crumbling apart, and iOMG is a testament to that opinion. I absolutely adore the subtle attempts from Sam to get to closer to Freddie, and how awkward she gets she finds out the PearPad app revealed her mood as “in love.” There are definitely minor flaws in both this episode, and iLost My Mind, but they don’t deserve the bad reputation they have simply because the episodes that followed them fumbled the ball. The cliff hanger at the end of this episode and the mere potential it had for a great story to be told is enough for me to include it on this list.

4. Season 3, Episode 3: iSpeed Date

If you haven’t noticed yet, beyond the trend of mushiness that is apparent on this list, there is also a trend of episodes that involve some kind of heavy implications with Sam. Here’s another one. 

I love and hate this episode lol. I love that we get more glimpses of Sam’s vulnerable side, but I hate how sad I feel for her as the episode plot plays out; which is a testament to the episode. Not only does she embarrassingly get turned down by Gibby, who she never wanted to ask to their school dance in the first place, she also walks in on Carly dancing with Freddie, unbeknownst to them. That dancing scene at the end has so many implications, and is surprisingly heavy for a kid’s show, honestly. You are left feeling so many emotions for the main trio as the episode concludes. There is a sense of pity for Sam as it is very clearly implied that she’s bothered by what she sees, but happiness combats that feeling as you proudly watch Freddie share that intimate moment with Carly he so desperately wanted for so long. It is happiness, sadness, confusion, and suspense all wrapped up into one scene, and it is fantastic; as is the entire episode.

3. Season 3, Episode 9: iSaved Your Life

Surprised at all? Why would a Sam and Freddie supporter, like myself, rank an episode centered on the pairing of Carly and Freddie in the top 10? Well, simply put, it’s a fantastic episode regardless of personal preference, and I cannot ignore that. There is a reason this was the highest rated episode in the series when it aired, and it’s because it’s fantastic. It scored an enormously high, record setting, television rating for the premier and that is nothing to scoff at. But beyond the record numbers it scored, I chose this episode because I honestly like it. There is a lot to unpack when discussing this episode…so strap in.

Yes, this episode revolves around Carly and Freddie, but it is still an integral part of Sam and Freddie’s relationship in major ways. As the plot unfolds, Freddie goes through a miniature arc in which he finally obtains what he craved for so long, a romantic relationship with Carly, but he ultimately decides to walk away from that relationship when it doesn’t turn out how he envisioned it. This is a crucial moment in Freddie’s overall journey as his character slightly changes from here on out. He practically abandons the constant adoration for Carly that was a staple of his character until that point, and we don’t see it again until Season 6, where it begins to be teased that those feelings still linger; but before the “Creddie” resurrection of Season 6, this episode essentially served as the metaphorical shutting of the door on his childhood crush that never felt the same for him.

Now as one metaphorical door shut, another was opened, one that led to a potential romance with Sam. Obviously, this romance had already been seldomly teased several times in prior episodes, as well as this episode itself, but it was now free from the shackles of its opposition. This admittedly has a lot to do with my personal enjoyment of the episode, and I’ll probably discuss the implications it has between Sam and Freddie in another post at some point. That said, I still enjoy the story told between Carly and Freddie, and I won’t pretend not too. Couple that story with the subtle allusions to Sam and Freddie’s possible romance, and I can’t help but love this episode.

2. Season 2, Episode 8: iKiss

Well, if the last episode I chose came as a surprise at all, I’d be willing to bet that this choice is the exact opposite. What can I say? I love Sam and Freddie to pieces, and this is the first episode centered on their connection. I’d venture to say this is my most watched episode of iCarly. I always re-watch the balcony scene, and it gives me all the feels. That kiss the two characters share at the conclusion of the episode is so well done, and captures the awkwardness of adolescence brilliantly. You literally feel their confusion as they lock lips with each other. The tension between these two constantly argumentative characters is released into a kiss, and you witness them subtly realize there might be a reason behind their sometimes hostile behavior toward one another. Of course, this is not stated outright, but it is absolutely what you’re intended to infer from the scene. It is shot in a way that makes it clear that both Sam and Freddie want to say something more after the kiss, but just don’t know how, resulting in awkward banter before they ultimately retreat into their own solitude. I could honestly write an essay breaking down the every little minute detail in that scene, it’s just so wonderfully done.

The general arc Sam goes through in this episode is also wonderfully told. Early in the episode there is a moment where Sam refers to herself, Carly, and Freddie as all being “friends,” before immediately backtracking and saying that Freddie is merely a “coworker.” There is an obvious denial of any kind relationship between them, even platonically, but we as the audience know better than that. Then of course, Sam later finds out that Freddie has never had a real kiss, and publicly shares that information on iCarly as a prank, but it practically ruins Freddie’s social life. That moves us into the second phase of this arc, in which Sam realizes that her actions have consequences. Carly berates her for being so harsh to Freddie, in a moment that terrifically displays why Carly is such a wonderful character, and Sam is left to harbor the guilt of her choices. This carries us into the third phase of her arc where she faces her emotions head on, and apologizes to Freddie. Even without the kiss that follows, this arc Sam goes through is a tremendous display of growth for an otherwise, closed off, defensive, rebellious teenager. That alone is testament to the excellence that is this episode.

Like I said earlier, I could write an essay on this episode. There is just so many little details that make it so great, and I absolutely love it,

1. Season 6, Episode 13: iGoodbye

So, here we are at number 1, and it’s the series finale, iGoodbye. Is this even a shock? This final episode of iCarly is so freaking good, and there was no way it wasn’t going to claim the number 1 spot for me. Even with the fact that Sam and Freddie get no closure, and just have a general lack of interaction at all during the episode, I still rank at number 1. That’s how good it is.

So, I guess I’ll start with the Sam and Freddie issue since I mentioned that first, just to get the one negative out of the way. This is single flaw this episode has, but it is a major one, and I have to acknowledge it. While they may have a few little moments here and there, Sam and Freddie have an extreme lack of interaction throughout this episode, and it’s incredibly disappointing as a viewer. Of course, to a fan like myself, these two ending up back together would’ve been the ideal outcome, but I digress. Even disregarding the idea of them getting together, the simple fact that they don’t even have a final moment together, even just as friends, is criminal.

But, I ranked this at number 1 for a reason, and it’s because it is fantastic even with that flaw. This finale is a love letter to fans of the series, and is an emotional roller coaster throughout. There are numerous tear jerking moments that tug at the heart strings amazingly hard for a kids show. From Spencer forsaking his long lost love, Audrey, so he can take his little sister to her last dance, to Carly and Sam on the elevator during the final scene, and everything in between, this episode is emotionally beautiful. Both of Spencer’s moments with Carly and Sam respectively are two of my favorite moments in the entire series, and they give me all the feels. The goodbye he and Carly share before she leaves for Italy genuinely makes me cry every time I watch it, and the moment where he gives Sam the motorcycle before telling her she has “a good heart,” is so touching. I adore that “good heart,” line so much, as it validates my favorite character as a good person deep down. 

I could go on forever about this episode, but I actually plan on reviewing it as a standalone specifically, in a follow up to myreview/look back at the whole series. So for now, we’ll wrap this list up. iGoodbye is a beautiful finale to a wonderful series, and easily secures its spot as the best episode of iCarly for me.

[maddie-grove]

The Top Twenty Books I Read in 2019

My main takeaways from the past year’s reading:

Sometimes you think something is happening because of magic, but then it turns out to have a non-magical explanation so weird that you find yourself saying, “You know what? I wish faeries or God were responsible for this. I’d honestly feel less disturbed.”

Stop bathing and changing your clothes and shaving for three years, three months, and three days. You’ll find out who your real friends are. I promise you that.

I want more books about bisexual ladies!!! Give them to me!!!

Anyway...

20. The Prodigal Duke by Theresa Romain (2017)

Childhood sweethearts Poppy Hayworth and Leo Billingsley were separated when his older brother, a duke, sent him away to make his fortune. Years later, the duke is dead, a financially successful Leo has come back to England to take his place, and Poppy has become a rope dancer at Vauxhall Gardens after a life-shattering event. New sparks are flying between them, but is love possible when so much else has changed? Leo and Poppy are believable and charming as old friends, Romain makes great use of obscure historical details from the oft-depicted Regency period, and I loved Leo’s difficult but caring elderly uncle.

19. Simple Jess by Pamela Morsi (1996)

Althea Winsloe, a young widow in 1900s Arkansas, has no interest in remarrying, but almost everyone in her small Ozarks community is pressuring her to remarry, and she still needs someone to help farm her land. Enter Jesse Best, a strong young man with cognitive disabilities who’s happy to take on the work. As he makes improvements to her farm and bonds with her three-year-old son, Althea gets to know him better and starts to see him in a new light. This earthy romance could’ve been a disaster, but instead it illustrates how people with disabilities are often...uh...simplified and de-sexualized in a way that denies them autonomy. Morsi has a similarly nuanced take on Althea and Jesse’s community, which is claustrophobic and supportive all at once.

18. Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli (2018)

Outspoken and insecure, bisexual high school senior Leah Burke is having a tough year. Her friend group is in turmoil, her single mom is seriously dating someone, and she’s caught between a sweet boy she’s not sure about and a pretty, perfect straight girl who couldn’t possibly be into her...right??? The sequel to the very cute Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, Leah on the Offbeat pulls a The Godfather: Part II with its messy protagonist, sweetly surprising romance, and masterful comic set piece involving the Atlanta American Girl Doll restaurant.

17. Copper Sun by Sharon M. Draper (2006)

Kidnapped from her home in eighteenth-century Ghana, fifteen-year-old Amari is sold into slavery and winds up on a South Carolina plantation, where she faces terrible cruelty but finds friends in an enslaved cook, her little son, and eventually a sulky white indentured servant around her age. When their master escalates his already-atrocious behavior, the three young people flee south to the Spanish Fort Mose in search of freedom. Draper’s complicated characters, vivid descriptions, and deft handling of heavy subjects makes for top-notch historical YA fiction.

16. A Prince on Paper by Alyssa Cole (2019)

After her controlling politician father was jailed for poisoning a bunch of people in their small, prosperous African country, Nya Jerami gained unprecedented freedom but also became the subject of vicious gossip. Johan von Braustein, the hard-partying stepson of a European monarch, wants to help her, partly because he sympathizes and partly because he has a crush, but she thinks he’s too frivolous and horny (if wildly attractive). After an embarrassing misunderstanding compels them to enter a fake engagement, though, she begins to wonder if there’s more to him. I’m not a huge fan of contemporary romance, but this novel has the perfect combination of heartfelt emotion, delicious melodrama, and adorable fluff. 

15. One Perfect Rose by Mary Jo Putney (1997)

Stephen, the Duke of Ashburton, has always done the proper and responsible thing, but that all changes when he learns that he’s terminally ill. Wandering the countryside in the guise of an ordinary gentleman, he ends up joining an acting troupe and falling in love with Rosalind, the sensible adopted daughter of the two lead actors. Like another Regency romance on this list, this novel celebrates love in many forms: there’s the love story between Stephen and Rosalind, yes, but there’s also Rosalind’s loving relationship with her adopted family, the new bonds she forms with her long-lost blood relatives, the way her two families embrace the increasingly frightened Stephen, and the healing rifts between Stephen and his well-meaning but distant siblings. Stephen’s reconciliation with his mortality is also moving.

14. My One and Only Duke by Grace Burrowes (2018)

Facing a death sentence in Newgate, footman-turned-prosperous banker Quinton Wentworth decides to do one last good thing: marry Jane McGowan, a poor pregnant widow, so she and the baby will be financially set. Then he receives a pardon and a dukedom at the literal last minute, meaning that he and Jane have a more permanent arrangement than either intended. I fell in love with the kind-but-difficult protagonists almost at once, and with Burrowes’s gorgeous prose even faster. 

13. Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell (2013)

It’s 1986, and comics-loving, post-punk-listening, half-Korean Park and bright, weird, constantly bullied Eleanor are just trying to get through high school in their rough Omaha neighborhood. He’s only grudgingly willing to let her share his bus seat at first, but this barely civil acquaintance slowly thaws into friendship and blossoms into love. Far from being the whimsical eighties-nostalgia-fest I expected, this is a bittersweet love story about two isolated young people who find love, belonging, and a chance for self-expression with each other in an often-hostile environment (a small miracle pre-Internet).

12. Shrill by Lindy West (2016)

In this memoir, Lindy West talks about the difficulties of being a fat woman, the thankless task of being vocally less-than-enthused about rape jokes, the joys of moving past self-doubt, and the very real possibility that Little John from Disney’s Robin Hood was played by “bear actor” Baloo, among other subjects. I was having a hard time during my last semester of law school this past spring, and this book’s giddy humor and inspiring messages really helped me in my hour of need.

11. Seduction: Sex, Lies, and Stardom in Howard Hughes's Hollywood by Karina Longworth (2018)

In 1925, very young businessman Howard Hughes breezed into Hollywood with nothing but tons of family wealth, a soon-to-be-divorced wife, and a simple dream: make movies about fast planes and big bosoms. He got increasingly weird and reactionary over the next thirty years, then retired from public life. More a history of 1920s-1950s Hollywood than a biography, this book has the same sharp writing and in-depth film analysis that makes me love Longworth’s podcast You Must Remember This.

10. The Beguiled by Thomas Cullinan (1966)

In Civil-War-era Virginia, iron-willed Martha Farnsworth and her nervous younger sister try to run their nearly empty girls’ boarding school within earshot of a battlefield. When one girl finds Union soldier John McBurney injured in the woods, she brings him back to the house, where he exploits every conflict and secret among the eight girls and women (five students, two sisters, and one enslaved cook). Charming and manipulative, he nevertheless finds himself in over his head. Cullinan makes great use of the eight POVs and the deliciously claustrophobic setting; it’s fascinating to watch the power dynamics and allegiances shift from scene to scene.

9. A Gentleman Never Keeps Score by Cat Sebastian (2018)

Reserved tavern keeper Sam Fox wants to help out his brother’s sweetheart by finding and destroying a nude portrait she once sat for; disgraced gentleman Hartley Sedgwick isn’t sure what he wants after having his life ruined twice over, but he happened to inherit his house from the man who commissioned the painting...plus he’s not exactly reluctant to assist kind, handsome Sam in his quest. I wrote about this heart-melting romance two times last year; suffice it to say that it’s not only one of the best Regencies I’ve ever read, but also possibly the best romance I’ve ever read about the creation of a found family.

8. Frog Music by Emma Donoghue (2014)

Blanche Beunon, a French-born burlesque dancer in 1876 San Francisco, has a lot going on: her mooching boyfriend has turned on her, her sick baby is missing, and her cross-dressing, frog-hunting friend Jenny Bonnet was just shot dead right next to her. In the middle of a heat wave, a smallpox epidemic, and a little bit of mob violence, she must locate her son and solve Jenny’s murder. This is a glorious work of historical fiction; you can see, hear, smell, and feel the chaotic world of 1870s San Francisco, plus Blanche’s character arc is amazing.

7. The Patrick Melrose novels (Never Mind, Bad News, Some Hope, Mother’s Milk, and At Last) by Edward St. Aubyn (1992, 1992, 1994, 2005, and 2012, respectively)

Born to an embittered English aristocrat and an idealistic American heiress, Patrick Melrose lives through his father’s sadistic abuse and his mother’s willful blindness (Never Mind),  does a truly staggering amount of drugs in early adulthood (Bad News), and makes a good-faith effort at leading a normal life (Some Hope). Years later, the life he’s built with his wife and two sons is threatened by his alcoholism and reemerging resentment of his mother (Mother’s Milk), but there may be a chance to salvage something (At Last). Despite the suffering and cruelty on display, these novels were the farthest thing from a dismaying experience, thanks to the sharp characterization, grim humor, and great sense of setting. Also, I love little Robert Melrose, an anxious eldest child after my own heart. 

6. The Perilous Gard by Elizabeth Marie Pope (1974)

In 1550s England, no-nonsense Kate Sutton is exiled to the Perilous Gard, a remote castle occupied by suspicious characters, including the lord’s guilt-ridden younger brother Christopher. Troubled by the holes she sees in the story of the tragedy that haunts him, she does some problem-solving and ends up in a world of weird shit. Cleverly plotted, deliciously spooky, and featuring an all-time-great heroine, this book was an absolute treat. The beautiful Richard Cuffari illustrations in my edition didn’t hurt, either.

5. An Unconditional Freedom by Alyssa Cole (2019)

Daniel Cumberland, a free black man from New England traumatized from being sold into slavery, and Janeta Sanchez, a mixed-race Cuban-Floridian lady from a white Confederate family, have been sent on a mission to the Deep South by the Loyal League, a pro-Union spy organization. Initially hostile to everyone (but particularly to somewhat naive Janeta), Daniel warms to his colleague, but will her secrets, his shattered faith in justice, and the various dangers they face prevent them from falling in love? Nah. Alyssa Cole’s historical romances deliver both on the history and the romance, and this is one of her strongest entries.

4. The Lady’s Guide to Celestial Mechanics by Olivia Waite (2019)

Heartbroken by the death of her father and the marriage of her ex-girlfriend, Lucy Muchelney decides she needs a change of scenery and takes a live-in position translating a French astronomy text for Catherine St. Day, the recently widowed Countess of Moth. Catherine, used to putting her interests on hold for an uncaring spouse, is intrigued by this awkward, independent lady. I’ve read f/f romances before, but this sparkling Regency was the first to really blow me away with its fun banter, neat historical details, and perfect sexual tension.

3. The Wager by Donna Jo Napoli (2010)

After losing his entire fortune to a tidal wave, Sicilian nineteen-year-old Don Giovanni de la Fortuna sinks into poverty and near-starvation. Then Devil makes him an offer: all the money he wants for as long as he lives if he doesn’t bathe, cut his hair, shave, or change his clothes for three years, three months, and three days. This fairy-tale retelling is an extraordinarily moving fable about someone who learns to acknowledge his own suffering, recognize it in others, and extend compassion to all. 

2. Vampires in the Lemon Grove by Karen Russell (2013)

In this collection, Russell weaves strange tales of silkworm-women hybrids in Japan, seagulls who collect objects from the past and future, and, yes, vampires in the lemon grove. She also posits the very important question: “What if most (but not all) U.S. presidents were reincarnated as horses in the same stable and had a lot of drama going on?” My favorite stories were “Proving Up” (about a nineteenth-century Nebraska boy who encounters death and horror on the prairie), “The Graveless Doll of Eric Mutis” (about a disadvantaged high school student who discovers an effigy of the even more hapless boy he tormented), and “The Barn at the End of the Term” (the horse-president story). 

1. The Wonder by Emma Donoghue (2016)

Lib Wright, an Englishwoman who has floundered since her days working for Florence Nightingale during the Crimean War, is hired to observe Anna O’Donnell, an eleven-year-old Irish girl famous for not eating for four straight months. With a jaundiced attitude towards the Irish and Catholicism, Lib is confident that she’ll quickly expose Anna as a fraud, but she finds herself liking the girl and getting increasingly drawn into the disturbing mystery of her fast. Like The Perilous Gard, this novel masterfully plays with the possibility of the supernatural, then introduces a technically mundane explanation that’s somehow much more eerie. Donoghue balances the horror and waste that surrounds Anna, though, with the clear, bright prose and the moving relationship that develops between her and Lib, who grows beyond her narrow-mindedness and emotional numbness. I stayed up half the night to finish this novel, which cemented Emma Donoghue’s status as my new favorite author.

[eleanor-writes-stuff]

a language of its own - Day 11

“And the heart is hard to translate, it has a language of its own.”

All the ways Rey and Ben say “I love you”.

It’s Day 11 of my 12-day Valentine’s collection! Today’s prompt is a wipe my tears away kind of love, and it marks a triumphant return to soft fluff after our slight detour. Way longer than a thousand words, but that goes without saying at this point, right? Happy reading!

12 Days of Valentine’s Also available on AO3 Psst, you can also find me on Twitter and Ko-fi!

It’s way too bright outside by the time Rey wakes up.

For a moment there she’s so disoriented by the sight of sunlight spilling into their room in November that she fails to realize just how fucked she is. But eventually her eyes drop from the crack between the curtains to land on the digital clock on Ben’s nightstand, and that’s when she starts freaking out.

Seven minutes past nine. It’s seven minutes past nine, and she’s still tangled up in her sheets instead of dressed and awake and at work the way she’s supposed to be.

“Fuck,” Rey hisses as her frantic attempts to kick off the sheets lead to her falling over the edge with a thump. “Fuck, fuck, fuck–”

“Rey?”

She finally breaks free and peers over the side of the bed to find Ben looking at her with a slight furrow between his brows and an apron tied around his neck.

“Ben! Ben, it’s way past seven, we’re going to be so late–”

He steps into the room with a laugh and helps her up. “Sweetheart, I don’t have anywhere to be anymore, remember? And neither do you, today.”

“But I– your dad– wait.” Realization is slow to dawn upon her until she catches sight of the date tucked away in the top right corner of Ben’s clock. 11/03/19 grabs her attention and gives her pause, and suddenly the whole thing makes sense.

“Ben, you know I don’t–”

“I know,” he tells her, pulling her into his arms and dropping a kiss on her crown. She wants to tell him that’s cheating, wants to step away from him and demand that he put an end to this before it starts, but it’s too late. “Happy birthday, Rey,” Ben murmurs against her forehead, and he’s so goddamn gentle about it that she gives in with a sigh.

“Baby, I appreciate whatever it is you’ve planned for today but there’s a reason I don’t…” celebrate. Ever. Not once in all the time he and the others have known her, not even when she and Finn first met at the age of sixteen. Funny how it’d taken her two years to tell Finn why her birthday never seemed to roll around but only two months to tell Ben all about the day she’d been abandoned on the steps of a police station with no birth certificate, no documentation, nothing but a tiny scrap of paper bearing three hastily scrawled letters.

Today is the twenty-second anniversary of that day.

Ben steps back and swallows her protests with a kiss. “I got my dad to give you the day off so that you can do whatever you want… whether that’s having a party with all your friends tonight or ignoring everyone so that we can pretend today is just another day. It’s all up to you, Rey.”

She knows that despite her best attempts this past week to communicate just how not into her birthday she is, sweet old Chewie probably brought cake into work today anyway. Rose must have arranged for flowers and a teddy bear to be delivered as always, and Poe will be running around town trying to hunt down the perfect gag gift in the hopes of making her laugh. And Finn… Finn’s birthday wishes are always somehow both the best and the worst, because he’s the only one who can come anywhere close to understanding how she feels but he just can’t seem to get why she still feels this way after all these years, why she’s refusing to let herself heal and rise above her past.

But Chewie’s cake and her friends’ gifts can’t reach her in this apartment where Finn’s sincere wishes and Poe’s bad jokes can easily be silenced by ignoring her phone and the outside world. The heartfelt words, the carefully selected gifts… Ben’s offering to let her put it all on hold until she’s ready and able to handle it with grace. “That… that sounds kinda perfect, actually,” Rey concedes, wrapping her arms around his waist as she buries her face in his neck.

“Okay,” Ben says, one hand coming to rest low on her waist. “Just another day it is, then,” he declares, running his fingers through her hair as she nuzzles his neck. It’s only been two weeks since he walked away from his disaster of a job, but already Rey’s gotten used to waking up with him still fast asleep and curled around her, to having him all to herself.

Since it’s just another day, Ben tells her to go get washed up while he transfers breakfast from the birthday tray he’d carefully put together to their little coffee-slash-dining table. It feels more like a weekend than anything else when they squeeze themselves into the gap between the table and the couch and take their own sweet time enjoying every single breakfast food Ben could find in their kitchen.

After, he hauls her up to the couch and queues up a Pixar marathon, a little rainy day tradition they’d unintentionally formed two years ago. Outside it’s still unseasonably sunny for this time of year, but Ben pulls her close and lets her cuddle into his side anyway, draping one furnace-warm arm around her shoulders.

They spend the afternoon like this until Rey’s stomach rumbles, and even then Ben gives her the option of calling for pizza or waiting for him to go ahead with the special birthday dinner he’d had in mind for her. Her heart feels almost too full when he shows no disappointment at all over her choice of pizza, telling her with a shrug that he’s too hungry to cook anyway.

Later, much later, long after the last Pixar movie and the final slice of pizza, shortly after she let Ben talk her into accepting at least one birthday present, Rey curls into his side and places a kiss on his bare shoulder while his thumb traces a soothing, repetitive pattern over her hip.

“It’s not that I don’t like birthdays,” she murmurs into the night. “Or celebrations, or gifts. I love gifts, I love that you guys care enough to get me something. I love that you care enough to plan this whole day, even if I did kinda ruin it.”

Ben curls one arm around her waist and pulls her closer so that he can brush his lips along her forehead, so that she’s half on top of him. “You didn’t ruin anything, sweetheart. It’s your birthday. You get to decide what you want to do, even if it’s nothing.”

“I love birthdays,” Rey insists. “I really do. I just…”

His thumb grows still. “Just?”

She readjusts her head on Ben’s chest with a sigh, words nearly drowned out by her little sounds of happiness and the rustle of the sheets. “I just don’t like the way I feel on them, that’s all.”

Warm lips linger on her temple as one big hand curves along her hip, effortlessly spanning nearly half of her. All of this Ben does without comment, wordlessly encouraging her to go on, to confide in him.

A shuddery breath pushes past her lips. “Lonely,” Rey finally confesses into the night. “Every year I just feel so lonely, no matter how many people I’m with, no matter how many friends I’m surrounded by. As if deep down I’m still that baby on the steps, still the kid no one wanted, all alone in this world.”

She doesn’t even realize she’s crying until her tears streak across her face to pool between her cheek and Ben’s chest. There’s no great big sob stuck in her throat, no acute sadness in her heart, just… memories and feelings she’s never quite been able to bury completely even as they grow distant and faint.

Ben moves to rest on his side, putting them eye to eye and chest to chest as he gently wipes away her tears, thumbing at the saltwater streaks down her cheeks. When he lets his hand fall away she moves closer and tucks her head under his chin, takes a shaky breath as he wraps his arms around her.

“You’re not alone,” Ben murmurs just as she’s about to close her eyes, and Rey draws back to find his gaze fixed intently upon her. “You don’t ever have to be alone again, Rey. I promise.”

You’re not alone anymore, Finn had pointed out the first time she told him about her birthday. We’re not going anywhere, Rose and Poe and all the others have repeatedly assured her. But somehow all of it has always felt so temporary, so fragile, as if any day now they’d wake up and come to the same realization that had led her parents to abandon her on those steps.

But the way Ben says it, holding her in his arms in their bed in the home they’ve made together…

Together, she’d promised him when it felt like his life was falling to pieces.

Together, he’s proven to her time and time again these past few years.

Rey reaches down, finds the hand curled around her hip and takes it in her own. “Neither do you,” she whispers, giving Ben a small smile as the implications of his promise wash over her.

He meets her halfway, leaning down just as she tilts her head up to kiss him. It’s soft and slow, the both of them tired after a long day of nothing, and when he pulls away it’s only to touch his forehead to hers as he brushes a sweet Eskimo kiss against her nose. “Happy birthday, sweetheart.”

And for once, it is.

I've been working on this for a full day now, so I think it's time to let go and move on to the next piece.

It feels like more ground should have been covered since this is the penultimate ficlet leading up to the you-know-what, but the last few pieces have been so unexpectedly heavy that I quite like the idea of this one slowing things down and guiding us back into fluff territory. It's a bridge between days 10 and 12, I guess. Or at least that's what I'm telling myself because otherwise I'll never stop trying to fix this.

Anyway, Day 12 is upon us, friends... so you know what that means! @nancylovesreylo predicted a few chapters back that these idiots wouldn't actually get around to saying it until the last day and now here we are. You know me too well, Nancy!

As always, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it. Please don't hesitate to like/reblog/comment, and I'll see you tomorrow (or later today, I guess) for the final ficlet!

Bonus headcanon: the one time Ben talked about his nose being too big, Rey shut it down by saying it's perfect for Eskimo kisses. So that's a thing for them now.

[a34trgv2]

Top 10 Steven Universe Episodes (Season 4)

#10. Tiger Philanthropist: This long awaited follow-up to Tiger Millionaire from Season 1 showcases Steven taking on a new wrestling persona to spice things up. If there’s one thing that should be taken away from this episode, it’s that sometimes you gotta move on from the thing what you had so much fun doing. I like how this episode handled that dilemma and Steven’s opponents have some very creative costumes.

#9. Buddy’s Book: Connie and Steven read a journal at a library about the recounts of a man who explored various Gem locations. I love how Jamie is used to portray Buddy as opposed to creating an original character. Much like Historical Friction back in Season 2, Jamie once again shines as the lead and the way that retell the history in this episode is both funny and creative.

#8. Future Boy Zoltron: Steven helps predict people’s future thanks to the help of Garnet’s future vision. He meet a mysterious man who seems to be very depressed and tries his best to cheer him up. Without giving away the ending, this was one of the most heartfelt episodes outside of the Crystal Gem storyline and it’s what puts this episode on the list. I especially like how honest Steven is, and how each future is portrayed. Also, Steven dressed up as Zoltron just make him look adorable.

#7. The Zoo: Part of the Blue Diamond arc, this episode focuses on the human zoo and how it operates. This gives new perspective to the mysterious Pink Diamond and her fascination with humans. These people seem very naive, given that they were born long after their ancestors were taken from Earth. At the same time, they’ve developed their own culture here, while still being kept in check by the Diamonds.

#6. Three Gems and a Baby: It’s always a real treat watching a flashback episode. This time around we see how the Gems reacted to baby Steven for the first time. Of course they’re clueless on what to make of him, but fortunately Greg is their to take care of him. I also like how snow is drawn in this series. It feels so soft and fluffy and is just really satisfying watch it fall.

#5. Storm in the Room: This is the closet Steven ever got to talking to his Mom face to face and boy is it wonderful. Sure Rose is just a manifestation of what Steven wants his Mom to be, but that doesn’t make their conversation any less interesting or important. Also, I just love how the room operates in general. Steven just thinks it and it becomes real. Wish my room was like that.

#4. Last One Out of Beach City: Pearl joins Steven and Amethyst on a night out for some fun and adventure. Along the way Pearl meets this mysterious woman who reminds her of Rose. While we don’t hear the woman speak, the fact that she and Pearl get along so well shows that they have good chemistry together. Plus, this episode includes a special guest appearance by garage rock artist, Mike Krol. He’s actually a pretty decent musician, you should check out his music.

#3. Kindergarten Kid: This episode had me in stitches! In this homage to classic Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote cartoons, Steven and Peridot try to catch a gem monster, to hilarious results. I just love the timing of the humor and it’s so refreshing to see a full on slapstick cartoon in this day and age where they’re so rare.

#2. Gem Harvest: This is pretty much the Thanksgiving episode (even though they don’t say it). In addition to introducing Cousin Andy (played by Dave Willis from Aqua Teen Hunger Force), this episode also brings in new surprises and perspective to the cast. It also helps that this feels very much like fall, with creative uses of warm colors in addition to the normal color palette of the series.

#1. Mindful Education: You all knew this was going to be #1. I mean, it’s such a great episode, on of the best in the entire show actually. It’s got one of the best songs, the most creative animation and features great character development from Connie and Steven. The best aspect of this episode is how it handles the practice of meditation without being preachy.

Conclusion: Season 4 continues to strive to bigger and better things for the series. I personally believe 3 seasons is long enough for a show to go on without overstaying it’s welcome. Yet Steven Universe is one of the few exceptions because it continues to value quality over quantity. I look forward to continuing to watch the show for as long as it still produces great episodes. Honorable mentions go to Are You My Dad?, I Am My Mom, Lion 4: Alternate Ending, The New Crystal Gems, Onion Gang, Steven’s Dream and Rocknaldo. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next time ;)

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[kamisamawrites]

Like the Sun and the Moon

Chapter 10: Prettier Than Any Sakura Tree

Chapter Index

Walking back to the Hisakawa Estate after barring the Frog Lord’s clothes, the sun had already begun to set. Makoto hadn’t meant to stay out for so long, especially with all of her injuries, but her mind had other plans. She couldn’t stop thinking, and it was driving her insane. 

Throughout the day, the night’s events had slowly begun to resurface in her mind. They were hazy, but she could recall bits and pieces. 

Entering the estate, Makoto’s bones felt like lead in her body. Her eyes were sore and her head spun from the lack of sleep. 

As she made her way to the front door, the world suddenly turned on its side and the next thing she knew, she was on the ground.

“Wha…?” she murmured, unable to think straight.

Slowly looking around, she wasn’t able to stop her eyelids from slamming shut. She could vaguely hear someone calling out to her, but like a voice in the wind, it was gone.

Stirring the pot of piping hot porage, Makoto hummed happily as she turned around to find him patiently sitting in his futon. 

Making her way over to him, she couldn’t help the way her heart swelled as dark ruby eyes met her purple ones. Moving pale blonde locks out of his face, she enjoyed the hum that rumbled in his throat as she placed her forehead on his.

“Your temperature went down,” she smiled, pulling away.

“I kind of wish it didn’t,” he confessed sheepishly.

“What are you talking about? Maybe your fever is worse than I thought…” Makoto scolded, eyebrows knitting together in worry.

His laugh was gentle, his voice angelic, and his smile the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. With the way the golden light shone in through the windows, she wished she could have captured this moment and burn it into her mind.

Huffing a little, Makoto turned away from him.

“I’m going to get you your food,” she mumbled, ignoring the fluttering in the pit of her stomach.

Standing up, Makoto felt him grab onto the sleeve of her kimono. Pulling her back, she couldn’t stop the small yelp that slipped past her lips as he hugged her close.

Wrapping his arms around her waist, he whined, “Noo~ Don’t leave me~” 

Hiding his face in the crook of her neck, his arms tightened, trapping her in his lap.

“Wha- Uh- Agh…! But- but the food!” Makoto protested, trying to push the heat in her face down.

Shifting slightly to look at him, his pale cheeks were flushed a bright red. Watching him avoid her gaze as his cheeks puffed out made her heart melt.

“I’m not even hungry…” he mumbled, eyes shifting to the side.

“That’s not an excuse! Now let me go so I can feed you!” she scolded, trying to softly pry his arms from her waist.

Instead, he only tightened his grip as he nuzzled into her shoulder. His face hidden behind his bangs.

Watching him from the corner of her eye, she could feel her resolve begin to crack. 

Looking up at her, his ruby eyes shimmered in the light and his lips pulled down into a pout. His voice was so sweet it was like honey to her ears.

“Makoto~” he called, dragging her name out childishly.

Her breath caught in her throat, finding it now impossible to tear her gaze from his.

“Please? Won’t you stay here with me?” he whimpered, eyes big and sad like a puppy’s.

Watching him carefully, Makoto’s internal debate quickly came to an end as a tired sigh slipped past her lips. Shifting to make herself more comfortable, she refused to acknowledge how the way his eyes lit up made her heart swoon.

“You’re such a baby,” she pouted, earning a soft but heartfelt laugh.

“You’re right, where would I be without you,” he hummed, hiding his face in her hair.

A comfortable silence fell between them as they sat together, just enjoying each other’s embrace. Feeling him wrap his haori around them, she played with the white and red fabric, eyes tracing the black cranes that littered the bottom of it.

His breath was cold against her ear as was his skin, his embrace as soft as feathers. He was so gentle, it made her feel as if she were made of glass.

“The sakura trees are in bloom now…” Makoto said, voice soft, as if afraid he might have been scared off if she were any louder.

“I know it’s not fun being stuck in bed all the time, so we should go see them once you feel better,” she said, lifting her head to look up at him.

Watching how his eyes seemed to study her own, she couldn’t help but smile.

Eyes darting away, his cheeks flushed as he mumbled in her hair, “I-I’d rather stay here…”

“Huh? Why? I thought you loved sakura season,” Makoto asked, turning to face him.

“I do but…” he stuttered, taking a deep breath before pinning something in her hair.

Blinking a few times, Makoto’s hand came up to meet his. Her fingers traced the roughly carved wood of the hairpin before she turned her gaze back to him.

“There’s not a single sakura tree more beautiful than what’s in front of me,” he confessed, the corners of his eyes softly crinkling as his lips curled up.

Feeling her heart skip a beat, heat rushed to Makoto’s cheeks as she laughed. Placing the palm of his hand against her face, she leaned into his touch. His hands were rough and thick, hardened from many years of making bamboo furniture. 

“When did you become so smooth?” she mused, returning his smile with a small smirk. 

“I had a lot of time to practice while stuck in bed,” he chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck.

Pulling her closer, giggles slipped past her lips as he planted small butterfly kisses all over her face.

“You’re always taking care of me, I’ll make it up to you one day,” he whispered before Makoto cut him off.

“You don’t need to. I promised, didn’t I? I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe and healthy,” she reminded him, shifting so her back was fleshed against his chest.

A low, uneasy hum rumbled in his throat as his fingers gently played with her hair. His nails felt more like claws as he combed the top of her scalp.

“I’m the man here, I’m supposed to be the one saying that stuff…” he grumbled.

Makoto couldn’t help but laugh at this. Her voice, soft and airy as it rang in the air.

“Would it make you feel better if I played a song for you?” she asked, amusement lingering in her voice.

Picking up her shakuhachi, Makoto smiled.

“I’ll play whatever you want,” she cooed, only causing the young man to pout more.

“I normally would, but I wasn’t done talking…” he said.

“Oh, my bad then. Please continue,” she giggled.

Breathing out a sigh, his body grew tense behind her as his fingers fidgeted with hers.

“I want to take care of you Makoto,” he said, his voice trembling slightly as he swallowed the lump in his throat.

Softly tilting Makoto’s chin to face him, he whispered, “Not just as your best friend, but… as your husband.”

Eyes growing wide, Makoto’s smile dropped at his words.

Leaning down, he gently pressed his forehead to hers before continuing.

“I know I’m not the strongest or smartest man in the village, but I’m serious about this. You’re the only one I want, and I’ll work hard to make you happy,” he said, his breath fanning her face.

Cupping her cheeks, he smiled, “Makoto, I love you. More than anything in the world.”

Hesitantly bringing her hands to his, Makoto’s breathing grew shallow as she blinked the tears out of her eyes. Her heart was beating so fast she thought it was going to beat right out of her chest as a smile pulled at her trembling lips.

“Do you… Do you mean it?” she croaked.

Using his calloused thumbs to wipe the tears from her cheeks, he couldn’t help but softly chuckle as he pecked the tip of her nose.

“I do.”

Calling his name, Makoto jumped into his embrace as her arms wrapped around his neck. 

She felt so warm in that moment, so safe. His laugh was all she needed to know that everything was going to be alright. That things were only going to go up from there.

She knew in that moment that she didn’t want to be anywhere but with him.

Eyes fluttering awake, instead of the small house deep in the bamboo forest, Makoto found herself in one of the spare rooms at the Hisakawa mansion. 

Panic rose up in her and she rushed to get up, only for a wet cloth to fall into her lap and her entire body to burn. A long, low hiss slipped past her clenched teeth at the pain. 

Her limbs felt like jello, and her body was covered in a cold sweat. Her breathing was ragged from the chills that ran down her body, and her head was pounding. 

“Makoto…!”

Snapping her head up, her eyes adjusted to the dark as she made out a familiar face. Taking a minute to register the boy in front of her, the base of her palm pressed against her forehead as she lowered her gaze. 

Blinking in confusion, her eyes frantically darted to the side, finding that familiar, old crane patterned haori next to her. It was neatly folded, and on top of it was her treasured hairpin. 

A sigh of relief slipped past her lips as the day’s events slowly trickled back into her groggy mind.

That’s right, she was a demon slayer now… 

“Hey! Are you… are you okay…?” Inosuke hesitantly asked, voice soft and uneasy.

Pushing herself to sit up, she hunched over herself as she cradled her head. Her forehead felt warm and clammy, left damp by the small towel.

“I’m fine…” she weakly said, voice hoarse as she hid her face.

She knew this feeling, she had a fever. 

“Great, how ironic…” Makoto bitterly laughed, the words slipping out before remembering there was another person in the room.

Peeking up, Makoto found Inosuke staring at her. He sat next to her, still and silent. 

She couldn’t tell what he was thinking or even what his expression was with his mask on, and it made her uneasy. She couldn’t help the way her nerves grew tense the longer they sat there. 

The silence was deafening as she waited for him to do something, to say something, but he didn’t. It was as if he was studying her. She could feel the way his gaze bore into her, almost like she was his prey. At least, that’s what she felt like at that moment.

“Inosuke…?” she called, her worry overriding her other emotions at that moment.

“Are you really okay?” he asked, finally speaking up after what felt like hours.

Flashing him a reassuring smile, Makoto nodded.

Despite this, he wasn’t convinced. His frown only deepened as a gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach grew.

“You were mumbling something in your sleep,” he said, startling her.

“O-Oh… Was I?” she nervously chuckled, eyes darting to the ground.

“How is everyone else doing?” she asked, covertly changing topics.

“You should worry more about yourself. You’ve been out for two days,” he said, voice oddly sharp.

Quietly watching her eyes widened at his words, he could practically see the gears in her mind turn. 

“I-I see…” she stammered, blinking awkwardly.

“I’m sorry for causing you so much trouble,” she said rubbing the back of her neck.

Inosuke couldn’t help the anger that bubbled up inside him at her words.

“Why are you apologizing for that?! That’s not what you should be sorry for!” he snapped, his sudden loud voice causing her to flinch.

“What?” she absentmindedly asked, confused.

“If you're so sorry, then stop causing trouble in the first place!” he scolded her, the volume of his voice lowering slightly.

Letting his words sink in, her eyes widened.

“Are you… worried?” she asked.

“Of course I am! You’re my underling and you were not only possessed but out cold for two days straight! If we were out in the wild, you would have died!” he shouted.

Opening her mouth, she quickly shut it, realizing she didn’t know what to say. Turning away, guilt clung to her like wet clothes. 

Her gaze faltered as she tried to comprehend just how much she had scared everybody. 

How much she had scared him.

Lowering her head, Makoto couldn’t look him in the eyes.

“I-... I’m… sorry…” she murmured, not knowing what else to say.

Eyeing her, Inosuke could feel his anger waver. He was mad, but he didn’t want to see her like this either.

“I’ll… work harder,” she said, unconsciously gripping her blanket.

“Just tell me next time,” Inosuke huffed, catching Makoto off guard.

“You should tell me if something’s wrong! You’re my underling, it’s my job to look out for you,” he said, crossing his arms.

Staring at him, Makoto couldn’t help the broken laugh that fell from her lips.

“I’ll try to keep that in mind,” she said, her laugh lingering in her voice as she gave him a tired smile.

It wasn’t funny, none of this was, but the stress of everything had finally gotten to her. Her feelings of inferiority, her bittersweet dreams, the fight with the Frog Lord. 

It was all just so overwhelming. 

If she were just stronger - mentally, physically, it didn’t really matter - if she were just stronger! Maybe then, none of this would have happened.

Clenching her fists, she could feel her throat grow tight as she tried to hold back the tears.

Taking a deep breath, Makoto said, voice soft as she turned away, “It’s getting late. I’m sure you’re tired.”

Taking a second to absorb her words, Inosuke asked, “Are you sure you’re okay alone?”

Without thinking, she nodded, but as soon as he stood up, a strange feeling suddenly washed over her. Watching him make his way over to the door, unease crept its way into her limbs. The room seemed to only grow darker the farther Inosuke got from her, causing an anxiety-inducing panic to wash over her.

“W-wait a second…!” Makoto blurted out, her hand catching the back of his pants.

Turning to look at her, Inosuke quirked a brow.

“You need something?” he asked.

Watching her eyes dart to and fro, she hesitantly let him go, seemingly surprised by her own actions. Giving her a second to sort her words, Inosuke quietly waited.

“I-I… I don’t want to be alone right now…” she confessed, eyes shyly casting down.

Curiously cocking his head, Makoto seemed to grow increasingly antsy under his gaze.

“...W… W-Will you stay here with me…” she mumbled.

“Please?” she whispered under batted lashes.

Taking a second to think it over, Inosuke nodded, silently complying with her request. 

The two were quiet as they sat together, the air not heavy, but not exactly comfortable either. 

“Did you have a bad dream?” he asked, making himself comfortable next to her.

“You can say that…” she mumbled, eyes glued to her hands.

Eyeing her curiously, Inosuke wondered what she was thinking about. Her brows were furrowed and she looked concerned about something. Her hand moved to grab her haori before stopping and returning to her lap. She looked as if she were interrogating herself.

Despite knowing she was strong, he couldn’t help but think she looked so incredibly fragile at that moment. As if she’d break from the weight of her worries alone.

Spotting the damp towel that lay forgotten in her lap, a memory popped into his head.

“Hey,” he called, causing her to look at him.

“Ye-” cutting herself off, Makoto’s breath caught in her throat as Inosuke leaned towards her.

Having removed his mask, his big green eyes and close proximity caused Makoto’s heart to pound rapidly in her ears. Unable to stop the heat that rushed to her cheeks, she felt light when his fingers brushed her cheek, tucking her hair behind her ear.

Gently placing his forehead to hers, the low hum that rumbled in Inosuke’s throat caused Makoto’s heart to skip a beat.

“You’re heating up…” he grumbled, pulling away.

“Poncho said that when you’re sick, you can’t get too warm,” he said, grabbing the towel in her lap.

“O-Oh…” she mumbled, unable to tear her eyes away from him.

Gently touching her cheek, her face was indeed quite hot. Her fever must have been worse than she thought, that was probably why she was so flustered. Yeah, that was probably it.

Sheepishly thanking Inosuke as he placed the towel back onto her head, the two grew extremely quiet after that. 

Starting at the ceiling beams, Makoto’s pounding heart was all she could hear as she laid in bed.

Although grateful for his company, she was starting to wonder if she had made the right decision. No matter how hard she tried, she had a sinking feeling she wouldn’t be getting much sleep that night.

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