#Ultra Yank sounded so funny in my head

[marionmorse]

Ohh my absolute goodness..

side note, one look at Heavy and Medic on the character lineup at the teamfortress.com homepage tells you EVERYTHING about their marriage

Anyway, the god... damn... I can't get over... just, Engineer TF2 and the duality of his character. Like, he's one-hundred percent someone to pull on gator skin boots, a ten gallon, get all yee-hawed up for a night out at the dance hall. But then go home and infodump about hotchkiss drives, stress-strain curves, and reflow soldering.

There are some specific competitive lines that comes to mind that are JARRING to hear in his honeyed-up Texas voice along with shit like "hooo-whee, makin' bacon!" and "START PRAYIN', BOY." Maybe that's just a huge part of the appeal to his character, but think about his BUDDIES, too.

Medic is probably quite familiar with American stereotypes pre-Gravel Wars, doesn't expect much from a bumbling rural southerner with a generic set of tools upon first glance. but.., he's a bit BLOWN AWAY when Engie gets all inquisitive about the ins and outs of the medi-gun. Wants to look into how the serum works as a mechanical component, the powering and logic behind it all, even overwhelms med's (limited) level of delicate mechanical knowledge. his arc is all, "okay, so, this little guy might be a bigger-brained fella than I expected!" The punting of med's early-day ego and subsequent forging of their friendship is just so... ourgh... I love characters and arcs and stories and growth and...

Also, Soldier! The all-American Ultra Yank who doesn't see eye-to-eye with Engie at first. They've both got contrasting leadership qualities when it comes down to it, fr, a- a- and, AND, soldier HATES nerds. Engie's a nerd. Big time. It takes a while for that mutual love respect to build up, you know? do you catch my drift? I'm just rambling now.

ALSO also, Engineer himself going from the more introverted, lone-wolf type we see in Meet the Engineer to a sort of leader, the level-headed de-escalator we see in Expiration Date. The guy who feels for and loves his team, but no doubt brings out the 'Texas' in 'em all. It's kinda cute. I imagine he taught everyone square dancing at some point, 'cause how else would they know?

In the end, I just love to think of Engie as being one of the cornerstones of the team's overall culture. i mean, he's a solid family guy - cooks the breakfasts, fixes the (practical) problems, heck, plays music, tells stories, keeps 'em together when times are tough. We ALL know that some of him has to rub off on the team he bunks with for years. Not in a father-figure way, nahh, but certainly in a Dad Friend way. Big difference.

(Can you tell who my favorite character is yet? (demo, actually. And Heavy. come to think of it, the defense trio is the love of my life. My boys. (I could write and MLA-formatted essay about the balance of culture and personality within the Tuefort Nine, citations intact.)))

[hopelikethemoon]

Teeth (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: Teeth Rating: PG-13 Length: 1300 Warnings: Mentions of blood.  Notes: You can find everything about Maybe Today, Maybe Forever here. Set September 1998. Shoutout to @buckstaposition​ for this <3  Another short chapter. I’ve been working my ass off the last few days.  Summary: Josie wakes them up in the middle of the night. 

@grapemama @seawhisperer @huliabitch @pedropascalito @rogrsnbarnes@thewallpapergoesorido @twomoonstwosuns @gooddaykate @livasaurasrex @ham4arrow@plexflexico @readsalot73 @hdlynn @lokiaddicted @randomness501 @fioccodineveautunnale  @roxypeanut @snivellusim @lukesrighthand @historynerd04 @mrsparknuts @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @exrebelshocktrooper@awesomefandomsunited @ah-callie @swhiskeys @lady-tano @u-wakatoshii @space-floozy @cable-kenobi @cool-ultra-nerd @himbopoes @findhimfives @pedrosdoll @frietiemeloen@arrowswithwifi @random066 @uncomicalhumour @heather-lynn @domino-oh-damn @cyarikaaa @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @im-still-a-pieceofgarbage @ksgeekgirl  @yabby-girl @xqueenofthecraziesx @punkass-potato​ @coredrive​ @pascalesque@theduchessofkirkcaldy @queenquazar​ @sabinemorans @buckstaposition @holkaskrosnou​@yespolkadotkitty​ @fleetwoodmactshirt​ @seeking-a-great–perhaps @kochamcie​ @jaime1110​

“Mommy?” A very quiet voice whispered.

You opened your eyes slowly, only halfway awake. “Hmm?” 

“Mommmmmy.”

“What is it, babydoll?” You questioned, blinking a few times as you tried to force yourself awake. The bedroom was still pitch black, which told you that you hadn’t overslept your alarm.

Javier grumbled behind you, his arm still firmly curled around your waist and his forehead pressed awkwardly against your shoulder blade. 

You shifted forward as best as you could, grabbing the chain on the light and turning it on. You clenched your eyes closed as the light momentarily blinded you. 

“What the fuc—“ Javier started, but he caught himself. “Focaccia.” 

“Nice save.” You quipped as you opened your eyes and took in the sight of your daughter. “Shit. Josie, what happened?”

“That doesn’t sound good.” Javier said as he sat up behind you, inhaling sharply as he saw exactly what you saw. 

Josie’s mouth was covered in fresh blood and she had her little hand clenched tightly around something. 

“My mouth hurts,” Josie said quietly, offering you a grimace of a grin. 

“Do we need to call 911?” Javier panicked. 

“It’s her tooth.” You assured him as you swung your legs over the side of the bed and held out your hand. “Do you have it?”

She nodded, “I was sleeping and it just went ‘pop’!”

You gave her a skeptical look, “And not because we talked about the tooth fairy last week?” 

Javier scooted over to your side of the bed, settling on the edge beside you. “Princesa, did you pull your tooth out?”

Josie looked rather sheepish then as she dropped the tooth into your palm. “In Mrs. Bryant’s class, Sean told me he pulled his toof out by tying a string around it and slamming a door.”

“Josie!” You grimaced, “That blood isn’t just from your tooth is it?”

She shook her head as tears welled up in her eyes, “I’m sorry mommy.”

“It’s okay sweetheart,” You brought her in for a hug, petting the back of her head. “Let’s go get you cleaned up, okay?” You said as you pulled back and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Meet me in the kitchen when you’re done,” Javier told you, before he turned his attention to Josie. “Your first tooth! I’ll have to have a word with the tooth fairy about early extractions.” He teased, winking at her before he got up. 

You guided Josie by the hand into the en suite, sitting her down on the toilet seat as you grabbed a washcloth to clean her up. “What made you think this was a good idea?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “Sean made it sound cool, but it hurted.”

“I bet.” You knelt down in front of her, wiping the wet cloth over her bloody chin and lips. She’d done a number to her bottom lip with whatever she’d used to yank the tooth out. “We’re just going to put a little ointment on it, okay? You can’t lick at it.”

“I’m sorry mommy,” She said, grabbing at your hand. “I wanted to be a big girl with big girl toofs.”

“Let’s not do it again, okay?” You warned her as you grabbed the ointment and applied it to her bottom lip. “Your teeth come in when they’re supposed to. What if you’re snaggle-toothed for years?”

Her eyes widened. “Oh no!”

“You wouldn’t want to make the tooth fairy unhappy, would you?” You pouted your lips and shook your head. 

Josie shook her head quickly. “Will the tooth fairy be mad?”

“Daddy will smooth it over, don’t you worry.”

“Does daddy know the tooth fairy?”

You crossed your fingers, “They're like this.”

“Like uncle Steve?”

“Exactly like uncle Steve.” You laughed, kissing your fingers and pressing them to her nose. “Come on, babydoll, let’s see what daddy’s doing in the kitchen.”

Josie took your hand and you guided her back through your bedroom, into the kitchen where Javier stood squirting whipped cream into a bowl. 

“I really shouldn’t be rewarding you for yanking your tooth out, princesa, but I think it was already traumatizing, huh?”

She nodded, pointing at her lip that was split. 

“Someone’s lucky she didn’t need stitches.” Javier gave her a look, before holding out the bowl and a spoon. “This is a positive reinforcement treat. Talk to us before you try something like this in the future.”

“Thank you daddy.” Josie said with a small sniffle as she plopped down on the floor with the bowl and started spooning up whipped cream. 

“A positive reinforcement treat?” You arched a brow. “Worked wonders when I pulled crap as a kid.”

“Did it?” You gave him a skeptical look. 

He snorted, raking his teeth over his bottom lip as he arched a brow. “For the record, I could be a lot worse.”

You rolled your eyes.

“I found her contraption.”

“Oh?”

“Fishing line wrapped around her doorknob.”

You glanced down at Josie, “Swell. Where’d you put the tooth?”

“Plastic bag, your drawer.”

You nodded, hands on your hips. “Well, I wasn’t planning on getting up at two in the morning.” You laughed bitterly. 

“All that blood—“

“Gave me a heart attack.” 

Javier reached over and rubbed your hip, “I can get her back to bed and brushed, if you want to go back to bed, baby.”

“Yeah?” You smiled at him. “Thank you.”

“We’re gonna have a talk anyways,” He gestured to Josie. “A little heart-to-heart about pinching the fishing wire from daddy’s things.”

“Uh oh.” You gave Josie a look as she peered up Javier. 

“I’m sorry daddy! I was just trying to be a big girl.”

“Just was your whipped cream, princesa. We’ll talk.”

“Don’t stay up too late,” You told him, cupping his cheek and kissing him once. 

He gave your ass a playful tap as you walked away. 

By the time Javier returned to bed, it was just after three and you were still wide awake. 

“I thought you were sleeping.”

You made a face as you rolled onto your back, “Seeing your kid covered in blood kinda forces you awake.” You admitted, rubbing at your eyes. “Is she out?”

“Like a light.”

“Good talk?”

Javier shrugged as he slid under the covers beside you, “We talked about growing up too fast, doing things we shouldn’t, and then most importantly — setting an example for Sofía.”

“Good call.” You snapped your fingers. “I think I’m going to talk to Mrs. Bryant about Sean. She should be trying to mitigate any trouble like that.”

“Watch out, she might accidentally call you Mrs. Peña.” He teased as you shut off the light. 

“Every. Single. Time.” 

“She’s had it out for you since that parent-teacher conference.” Javier snorted as he scooted closer to you, curling his arm around your waist as he leaned in to kiss your cheek. “It’s pretty fucking funny.”

“If I said the sky was blue, she’d argue me on it.” You rested your hand over his, playing your fingers over the back of his hand. “The whipped cream was a nice touch.”

“I figured she’d scared the shit out of herself already.”

“There was so much blood.”

“She bled a bit more after brushing her teeth.” Javier admitted. “Head wounds… fucking suck.”

You turned your head and pressed a kiss to his forehead, before seeking out his lips in the darkness. “Fortunately, I don’t think Josie’s going to pull this shit again.” You murmured against his lips. 

Javier chuckled, his breath dancing over your lips. “Me neither.”

You kissed him once more before you rolled over, fitting yourself into the curve of his body. You sighed contentedly as he curled his arm around.  “Sleep.”

“See you in three hours.” Javier murmured, nuzzling at your shoulder. 

[petitelepus]

25 Days of MTMTE Christmas, Part 3, Snowfall

You take your girlfriend out to experience snow and maybe for a couple of kisses.

"Hey, babe?" Nautica started.

You glanced at her over your shoulder as you sat in her lap with a datapad in your hands.

"Yes, beauty?" You asked, and stuck your tongue out as she grinned at the nickname.

Nautica pointed at your datapad. "What's that white stuff?"

You blinked, and glanced at your datapad’s screen where there was a photo of reindeer in the snowy landscape of Finland. You looked at her again.

"You mean snow?" You asked.

She nodded with a huge smile. "Yeah! What is it?"

You smiled like the lovesick fool you were. Your girlfriend was so freaking adorable. You pushed the datapad into her hands and let her scroll through photos of winter scenes.

"It's frozen water! When the air temperature drops low enough, water crystallizes and falls down as snowflakes."

"Ooh...!" Nautica exclaimed in wonder. "I wish I could see it. It looks fluffy! Shame that we can't visit Earth... I would have loved to see your home planet..."

She fell quiet. You frowned sadly, but Nautica quickly changed the subject to tell you about what Brainstorm did earlier.

You thought about what she had said. You couldn't return to Earth, not now when you were lightyears away, but you wanted to show her what wintertime on Earth looked like. That's when you got an idea! You quickly bid your giant girlfriend a good night, and ran to search for Rodimus.

A week had passed before the Lost Light reached its stopover point. The whole crew was unaware as to the true reason for the delay. Rodimus had told everyone that the stop would be brief, and that no one should leave the ship. Except for Nautica and you.

You led Nautica outside the ship carefully, minding her peds. You had asked her to close her eyes so that the surprise wouldn’t be ruined.

"Where are we? Where are you taking me?" Nautica asked.

"Hold on...!" You said, and then cheered, "Okay, open your eyes, beauty!"

Nautica couldn't believe what she saw. Snow, snow everywhere, as far as her optics could see. You grinned happily. You couldn't take your girl to Earth, but you had asked Rodimus and Ultra Magnus whether they could find a planet with snow. The red and gold captain (co-captain) was happy to help (Ultra Magnus was less pleased by the delay, however brief). You would thank Rodimus later. Right now, the most important (and most amusing) thing was your girlfriend admiring the snow.

"Oh Primus...!" Nautica gasped as she looked all around herself, taking in the pure white snow covering the land.

As if by cue, it started to gently snow. You raised your hands to catch as many snowflakes as you could, but they sadly melted almost immediately when they came into contact with your skin.

Nautica copied your action, but she succeeded, thanks to the lower temperature of her metallic body armor. You watched as she brought the intact snowflakes up to her optic level. She gasped in wonder at the beautiful ice crystals, and you thought how lucky you were to be with her. Apparently, you were staring at her too long, as she noticed how your gaze hadn't left her for a good while.

"What is it? Is there something on my face?" She asked.

You were about to shake your head in denial, but then you got an idea. "Actually yes, there is something," you said.

Nautica touched every part of her face, but you shook your head at her.

"No, no, let me get it for you," you said.

Nautica smiled and thanked you, before kneeling down so you could get the spot she was missing. You grasped the sides of her face and without further ado, you reached up on your tip-toes to press your lips against the corner of her mouth. For a second you were afraid that the freezing temperature would lock your lips against her metal faceplate, but you were lucky that your mouth didn't become frozen to her.

Nautica made the cutest sound when you pecked her. When you pulled away, she was looking at you in wonder, before a joyful and tender smile took over her faceplate. You smiled back at her, and her smile widened.

"You know, there is something on your face as well,” she said.

You tilted your head cutely. "Oh, really?"

"Mm-hm…” She hummed beautifully. "May I get it for you?"

"I would be honored,” you said.

She leaned down, and kissed you straight on the lips. You closed your eyes and hummed against her lips. You enjoyed that feeling that warmed your chest whenever she looked at you, or God, kissed you. You didn’t even feel the cold anymore.

After some time, Nautica pulled back, but you pursued her to push your lips back against hers. You took the chance to deepen the kiss, and you felt butterflies fluttering when Nautica's glossa tangled with your tongue. It was an intensive feeling, and you knew that you weren’t the only one who was getting hot under your layers.

You had to finally pull back, or risk fainting because of the lack of air, but Nautica didn't need to breathe. She gently yanked your scarf down to press her lips to your neck. You moaned out loud at the first lick, followed by sucking. You moaned shakily, and your hands went to her neck cables. You twisted some cables, and Nautica moaned out loud against your neck and sucked harder.

You were taken over by the need to have her mouth over yours, so you gently pushed her off of your neck to kiss her hard on the mouth. You both moaned into each other’s mouths, and her hands twisted into your hair as your hands massaged her smooth cheeks.

When you pulled apart, your hair was a mess, and you bet you had huge hickeys on your neck, but you regretted nothing. You looked into her optics as she looked into your eyes. So full of love.

"I love you so much it's not even funny," you said.

She snorted before smiling. "As you humans say... Ditto."

You smiled and kissed her again, and again, and again. You both kissed until you were both ready for something more. You grinned at Nautica, and started leading her back to the ship. You would continue kissing... only without your clothes in the way.

[fluffy-marshmallow-heart]

A Twist of Fate ch.34 -Heartbeats

The Elementalist au

Beckett x MC (Oriana)

Words: 2182

Warnings: NSFW

Series Master List

Complete Master List

This AU is set after everyone graduates Penderghast, and Beckett and Oriana were never friends. Fate, however, may have a different plan for them.

  Arriving home, Beckett and Oriana walked up the stairs to the house, Beckett unlocking the door and pushing it open. Oriana moved to go inside, but he grabbed her arm gently, turning her back to him.

“You don’t really think I’m just going to let you walk into this house, do you?” He asked slyly.

She rose an eyebrow. “Um…what else would I do?”

In a swift movement Beckett had swept her off her feet, so she was in his arms bridal style. She shrieked in delight.

“Let your husband carry you over the threshold, of course.” Walking though the door he quickly turned and kicked it shut before setting her down.

She grinned up at him, her arms still wrapped around his neck, his arms wrapped around her waist and keeping her flush against him. He brushed his lips against hers, enjoying her sweetness. Soon though, all gentleness wore away, and before he knew what he was doing, he’d backed her against the door, kissing her hard, a fire igniting between. She moaned softly as he bit down on her lip, taking it carefully between his teeth.

Breaking apart, his eyes travelled down her front, admiring her cleavage that was barely visible with the plunging neckline of her dress. “Your dress is magnificent.” He murmured, playing with the fabric as he lifted her skirt while his hand skimmed along her upper thigh. “You’re so beautiful.”

“I thought you’d like it.” She responded breathlessly, arching into him as his fingers dug into her waist.

“When did you have time to get it?” He nibbled her earlobe.

“I got it at the same time as the yellow one. I’ve never worn it before, and although I didn’t buy it with the intention of it being my wedding dress…I wouldn’t change it for anything.”

She palmed him through his pants and he groaned at the sensation, feeling tight and a need for release. Oriana reached both her hands between them and unbuckled his belt, then unzipped his pants, pushing them past his hips as she took his length in her hand. He captured her mouth with his own, thrusting into her palm as she moved along his shaft, going faster and faster before he realized he was on the brink of exploding. He quickly stopped her hand.

“Not yet.” He whispered hoarsely. “Ori….

“Fuck me here, Beckett. I don’t want to wait another second to feel you inside me.”

She kissed along his neck, which was a move she knew drove him crazy. “Fuck me in my wedding dress.” Her voice reverberated on his skin, and he was done for. He quickly removed her white lace panties, gripped her ass and lifted her into his arms. She immediately wrapped her legs around his waist and a second later he thrust deep and hard into her.

“Ori…oh you feel good…”

“Oh god , Beck, yes, yesssssss….”

Both were panting, stealing kisses in between breaths. He was holding her fully against their front door, keeping her weight balanced easily. He was fucking her hard now, biting down her shoulder and sucking her skin into his mouth. He wanted to leave his mark on her, claim her as his own. Faster and faster he went, bringing his lips back to hers as she bounced on his cock. He had full control of her body and he loved it so much.

“Ori…tell me you’re my…tell me you’re…” He couldn’t even finish his sentence, he was so full of pleasure.

“You’re wife?” She guessed.

He grunted, picking up his pace as she murmured… “I’m your wife…your bride…You’re my husband…I love you….”

With a guttural groan he came hard, pumping her full of his seed, her lower lips squeezing every drop from him. Finally, he slid out of her, her feet firmly back on the floor. Looking into her eyes, he was met with amusement.

“What’s so funny” He demanded.

Oriana smirked. “So…remember when we were first a couple, and we were having sex, and you asked me to call you my boyfriend and then you came instantly? I adore how it’s the same with term of wife.”

Beckett turned bright red. “I…it’s just…I mean…”

“And you stammering about it is even more adorable.” She laughed.

“Is that so?” He growled. “Then I guess you like it as much as I do. Which is good, because I’m going to need you screaming it all afternoon…and all night.”

Oriana’s phone started ringing.

“Don’t even think about answering that.” Beckett told her. “You’re all mine the rest of the day. We agreed.” He pulled her phone out from her purse to silence it, but paused as he read the screen. “Dr. Navario?”

“My gyno!” Oriana yanked the phone from his grip. “Hello?” She paused. “Yes! Yes, absolutely, that’s great! See you soon!”

She hung up, grinning at Beckett. “She had a cancellation this afternoon and wants to take us in for an ultrasound, instead of waiting a few days!”

“R-really?” Beckett gasped.

“Yes! It’s in an hour, so unfortunately…you’re going to have to share me this afternoon after all.” She joked.

Beckett’s eyes widened. “Oh my god! We have to leave! Do you want to change? Are you hungry? Thirsty? Need to use the bathroom?”

“Beck, stop, stop. It doesn’t take an hour to get there, first of all. Second…yes, I can eat and I should drink plenty since they recommend having a full bladder for the ultrasound.”

He frowned. “Why? That sounds uncomfortable.”

Oriana just shrugged. “Helps them see better I guess.” She gently pressed her lips to Beckett’s, who deepened the kiss before nipping at her neck and collar-bone.

“I’ll make an exception for our baby.” He murmured. “But then you’re mine, and I’m yours for the rest of the day.”

“Mmmmm deal.” She moaned as he pressed himself against her, letting her know he was already hard again.

“Keep making those noises, and I’m going to take that back.” He warned.

Oriana chuckled lightly. “Alright tiger. Let’s get ready then.”

An hour and a half later, the newlyweds were sitting in a doctors office nervously, waiting on the ultrasound tech to come in. After another moment, the door opened and a woman greeted them with a warm smile.

“I’m Brenna, I’ll be performing your ultra-sound today. Once we’ve wrapped up, Dr. Navario will come in and go over the results with you. As we go along I’ll point out a few things to you as well. Is this your first?”

“It is.” Beckett confirmed.

“We’re not even positive I’m pregnant…” Oriana started.

“Yes we are.” Beckett countered.

Oriana rolled her eyes. “He is, I’m not.”

Brenna grinned. “I see. Well, let’s put that question to bed, shall we? Now, I’ve warmed up the gel, so it should be comfortable for you. I’m going to press down fairly hard to make sure we get a good visual, and it may be slightly uncomfortable. Once we’re done, you’ll be off for your urine sample and those results are instantaneous, so your doctor can have all the information needed when she comes in. Sound good?”

“Yes.” Oriana whispered.

Beckett met her eyes, noticing the fear in them. He took her hand. “Everything’s okay.” He soothed. “We’re in this together.”

She took a deep breath and nodded, as the technician pressed down onto her lower abdomen. Oriana winced.

“Does it have to be that hard? It’s too hard for her.” Beckett worried.

“It’s really just because I have to pee so bad.” Oriana tried to laugh, but failed.

“It’s not hurting the baby?” Beckett asked nervously.

“Not at all. In fact…” Brenna projected the screen of her machine onto a television in front of them.

“Is that…what is that?”

“You’re 8 weeks along. Congratulations.”

Both Beckett and Oriana were staring at the screen in awe as Brenna continued. “This dark area is the amniotic sac, that protects the baby, and this here…” She highlighted part of the screen. “This is the fetus.”

Oriana covered her mouth with her free hand, tears welling up in her eyes. “Oh my god.” She breathed. “I…I really am…”

“You really are.” Beckett grinned. “We’re pregnant!”

“At 8 weeks, the fetus is about the size of a raspberry.” Brenna continued taking some measurements, assuring them that everything she was looking at were standard ultrasound procedure.

“What’s that blip?” Beckett asked, pointing to the screen.

“Is…is it supposed to blinking like that?” Oriana chimed in, her heart racing.

“That…is my favorite part, actually. And I bet it will be yours too. Are you ready to hear the heartbeat?” The technician asked.

“The…the…heart…” Before Oriana could finish her thought, a fast bumping sound filled the room, which Beckett instantly recognized.

“It sounds exactly like what I heard over the weekend.” He said absent-mindedly, meeting Oriana’s eyes. “That’s what I heard. The heart…I can’t believe it.”

“It’s not possible to hear it outside the womb.” Brenna spoke again. “I’m afraid whatever you heard couldn’t possibly have been the heartbeat.”

“Oh, uh, right.” Beckett ran a hand through his hair, thankful the room was dark so his blush was hidden.

“Well, that’s it. Here’s a printout…” Brenna handed them a black and white copy of the best picture of the exam. “And here is a thumb-drive, this has all the images and videos on it, as well as the clip of the heartbeat.”

“It’s so adorable.” Oriana mused. “A teddy bear thumb-drive…it’s too cute.”

“You’ll want to bring it every time you come.” Brenna informed. “This way we can keep adding to it and it will be a wonderful keepsake at the end of the pregnancy. Now, Oriana, we need to get your urine sample, and then the doctor will be right in. It’s a pleasure to meet you both.”

Oriana followed her out of the room as Beckett stared at the black and white picture of their unborn child. Tracing his fingers over it he murmured. “I love you already, my little raspberry. You are going to be so loved.”

After Dr. Navario went over the results with them, assuring the young couple that everything looked perfect so far, Beckett and Oriana finally went back home. Collapsing on the couch, Oriana leaned her head against Beckett’s shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her and kissing the top of her head.

“We’re having a baby.” Oriana whispered.

Beckett’s heart surged with love. “This is officially the best day of my life. Not only did I marry you…we saw our child for the first time.”

“How incredible was that heartbeat?” Oriana agreed. “God, it’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever heard. You said you heard it before?”

“I did.” He said softly. “Just for a second. Just long enough so I knew you were pregnant.”

“That’s how you knew? Not because I felt sick a lot?”

“The sickness helped, sure, but…I heard it, I heard our baby when it was impossible for me to have. I didn’t want to freak you out more than you already were, but that’s how I was completely positive.”

“Wow.” She murmured.

“Are you excited?” He asked hesitantly.

“I’m excited that you’re excited.”

“Ori…” He hooked his finger under her chin and forced her to look at him. “You have no idea how excited I am. But…whatever you want to do about this, I’ll support.”

She looked at him curiously. “What do you mean?”

“I know you haven’t exactly wanted this, I know it terrifies you. And that’s okay, I’m here to help you through it. But if you don’t want to go through it then…”

“Of course I do.” She interrupted. “Beck, this…we made this out of love. It’s amazing. And yeah, I’m still scared but…you ground me in a way no one ever has, and I know you’ll continue to do so. I want this baby. Your baby.”

“Are you sure?” His heart was beating faster.

“Absolutely.” She smiled, and now his heart soared. He kissed her fiercely, conveying his emotions through this one touch.

Finally breaking apart, he chuckled. “You know…eight weeks…”

“Yeah?”

He looked at her slyly. “That means I must have gotten you pregnant when we first started sleeping together. Probably within that first weekend. I’m not surprised that I would excel in that area as well.”

Oriana burst out laughing. “You are so full of yourself!”

He shrugged. “It’s warranted. I’m nothing if not an over-achiever. If I hadn’t already gotten you pregnant, you better believe I’d be working hard to make you that way right now.”

“Is that right?” Her eyes sparkled.

“Most definitely.” He assured.

“We could just…pretend that I’m not pregnant, and you can show me all the moves you’d make to get me that way.” She teased, watching the tips of his ears turn crimson.

“Ori…” His eyes fell to her mouth as she licked her lips. “I don’t need to pretend anything. All I want to do right now is make you scream how I’m your husband. All I need is you. Always.”

“Always.” Oriana whispered in agreeance, before falling into a deep, passionate kiss.

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[thiswasinevitableid]

Over My Head (Prompt Fill)

The prompt request was: “everyone under the sun knows i’m in love with you but you have no clue and it’s starting to get frustrating and i don’t know how to tell you how i feel” for Indruck.

Everyone knows he’s in love with Indrid. Except Indrid. 

He didn’t even set out to tell everyone, it just kept getting out. 

“I call dibs on the frosting!” Aubrey licks the spatula Duck hands her as he sets about putting pink icing on yellow cupcakes. 

“If it tastes like shit, now’s the time to tell me.”

“Mmmmn, it’s good! What’s the occasion?”

“Indrid said his overn was busted and I know he likes sweet things so I figured I’d, uh, bring him, uh, some.” His confidence falters when Aubrey wiggles her eyebrows at him.

“Duck’s got a cruuuush” She sing-songs.

“I do not! I like Indrid as a friend, because he’s a neat fella with good taste in movies and he’s real funny and he looks awful cute when he’s all bundled up ah damn it.”

And

“Holdin a party Duck?” Leo rings up quickly as the make small talk.

“Nah, why?”

“This is way more than you usually buy. And you ain’t eaten a fruit roll-up in years.”

Duck scratches the back of his neck, “Indrid’s been comin over more and I, uh, I dunno, I just wanna have some things that he likes. Y’know, so we can snack when we’re watchin movies.” He hands Leo his card.

“Surprised you’re eaten durin them instead of, y’know.” Leo bounces his eyebrows and Ducks cheeks start burning.

“Leo, c’mon, you know I dont think of Indrid like that! Sure he’s cute, but I can, uh, appreciate, uh, how a fella looks without thinkin about uh, how nice it’d be to have him sittin in my lap, makin out, wigglin that cute little ass of his...uh fuck I mean-”

“Duck, we got a line formin. Just tell ‘im, okay?”

Duck says nothing, pulls his hat down over his eyes and scurries away, groceries in hand. 

And

“Hey, Duck, can you take some things with you for Indrid?” Barclay asks from behind the bar at the lodge. 

“What makes you think I’m seein him soon?” 

Barclay trades a look with Stern, who then turns to Duck, “Because you’ve been to his trailer, or he’s been to your house, every night for the last” he taps his pen on the counter for a beat as he thinks, “month and a half.”

“How do you know that? Are you tappin my phone or some shit?” 

Stern shakes his head with a laugh, “either you talk about it, or he does when he comes to the lodge.”

“He talks about me?” Duck perks up.

“Yep, he’s got a Duck-track mind a lot of the time now.” Barclay smiles as he slides Stern a piece of pie.

“Does he know I like him? Does he like me? Is he gonna ask me out?”

Barclay chuckles, “Duck, you sound like a teenager.”

“Because I ain’t fallen this hard for someone since I was seventeen! God, please tell me he’s figured it out, everyone else in town has.”

The chef crosses to him, eyes soft, “Duck, you gotta understand, Indrid doesn’t interact with the world in the way most people do.”

“Well, yeah, he’s got future vision and all that shit.”

“It’s more than that, it’s that he often has a hard time focusing on the present, or remembering what has and hasn’t happened. He tries really hard to be good at reading people, I know he does, but he still misses some big stuff.”

Duck stares at his beer, “I’m gonna have to bite the bullet and tell him, ain’t I?”

“Yep” the pair says in unison.

“UGGGhhhhhhh” He thunks his head down on the counter. Barclay slides a pie slice his way.

“On the house.”

--------------------------------

Duck is, for lack of a better word, completely fucking out of ideas. 

He tried the direct approach.

“Hey, Indrid, would, uh, you, uh, like to get dinner with me?”

“Oooh, of course. Can we go to Dennys?”

He tried the direct-direct approach.

“Indrid, would you ever wanna go out with me?”

“Of course. We already go out all the time, why would we stop?”

He tried the super-ultra-mega-direct approach.

“Indrid, I like you. A lot. “

“I like you too, Duck. That’s why we’re friends.”

Now he’s sitting on the couch, trying not to stew in his own frustration as Indrid flits about his apartment. 

“Duck, is everything alright?” He plunks down beside him, head cocked to one side.

“Yeah, it’s, uh, fuck, it’s-”

“What’s wrong?” He takes Ducks hand, eyes concerned behind his glasses. 

“Just...why d’you keep dodgin me when I tell you how I feel? I mean, it’s okay if you don’t feel the same but at least gimme a straight answer so I can know whether I stand a damn chance of you datin’ me.”

“Dating me? You want to oh dear” Understanding dawns on Indrids face and Duck sighs.

“Look, I get it, I ain’t exactly boyfriend material in a lot of waysMPHMM.” He gasps as Indrid yanks him into his lap, throwing his arms around him as he kisses him.

“Duck, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be, that felt real good.”

“Nono, I mean, I can be oblivious at times, and unfortunately that meant I misunderstood the things you said. I’m antenna over heels for you, Duck, and I can’t believe you feel the same.”

“No shit I do, goofus.” Duck kisses him again, Indrid chirping out a laugh as he does. 

“Well then, I have a question: Duck Newton, will you be my boyfriend?”

Another kiss, and when Duck pulls away he smiles and sighs, “of course, darlin.”

[mikotyzini]

Happy Not-Birthday

Words: 2290 Pairing: Bumblebee

Totally almost forgot to post this today...whoops!  Enjoy!  Also, warning for being slightly suggestive!

Humming a tune to herself (the newest AchieveMen single), Yang jogged up the front steps, unlocked the front door, and let herself into the front entryway.  

“Hey Blake!” she called out, hanging her bag on a hook by the door and kicking off her shoes.  Pushing them towards the clutter of shoes already on the ground, she glanced towards the staircase when she didn’t hear a response.

“Blake?” she called out again.  “I’m home.”

Still nothing but silence, which was weird...because she knew Blake was already home.  Her bag was by the door, her shoes underneath, and she’d just texted asking when Yang would be home.

Heading towards the staircase to check upstairs, Yang froze when she felt it.  

What was ‘it’ exactly?  ‘It’ was hard to describe.  Some days, she described it as a disturbance in the air - one of those feelings that raised the hairs on the back of her neck.  Other days, she’d swear it as a weird type of intuition.  But most of the time, she called it just plain scary.

Whatever it was, she felt it right before something lowered in front of her eyes - cutting off her vision and plunging her into darkness.  Instinctively, she jerked an elbow back at the presence behind her as her heart started pumping with adrenaline.

“Woah there,” came a calm voice as her elbow connected with nothing but air.  “Easy, tiger.”

The sound of Blake’s voice instantly put her at ease, allowing her to relax and drop the ‘fight’ reflex that ran so strongly through her.

“One of these days I might accidentally get you,” she replied, turning towards where Blake had spoken from, only for the strip of fabric to remain in front of her eyes.

“Right…” Blake answered, her disbelieving smirk practically visible in her tone.  “I really don’t see that happening.”

“You never know!”  Trying to turn around again, Yang was disappointed when the blindfold stayed over her eyes.  “I’m pretty fast.”

“That’s like a koala telling a cheetah it’s fast.”

“Are you the koala here?” Yang joked, grinning when she heard Blake laugh from behind her.

“If you’ll let me hang onto you, I will be.”

“Hmm…”  Drawing out the word, Yang tried to use the element of surprise and spun around faster this time.  Of course, she then sighed when Blake somehow managed to keep the blindfold in place.

“Ok, what’s up with the blindfold?” she finally asked.  “Is this payback for accidentally embarrassing you in front of JNPR?”

“Not quite,” Blake replied, softly chuckling when Yang spun around again, to no avail.  

“You have to admit it was kinda funny though,” she said, imagining Blake’s expression.  “You were bragging about having such good balance then wham! I knocked you right over.”

“Yes, it was...very funny…”

Sensing the dryness in Blake’s tone, Yang twirled again and finally gave up, raising her hand then dropping it to her side in defeat.

“Ok, what gives?  I just want to see my beautiful girlfriend.”

“You’ll see me soon enough, but first…”

Feeling the strip of cloth fasten behind her head, Yang hadn’t even thought to remove it when she felt soft lips on her own - Blake kissing her out of the blue.  No longer caring whether or not she could see, Yang immediately responded by leaning in to kiss Blake deeply - because she didn’t need to see in order to do that.  Breathing in the smell of Blake’s body wash - a nice, flowery lavender - Yang clutched at Blake’s sides, pulling the girl close.  

It was one of those kisses that went from zero to a hundred in less than a second.  It was one of those kisses that made her realize how absolutely and unconditionally she loved the girl in front of her.  It didn’t matter if she couldn't see Blake right now.  Ultimately, she didn’t care what Blake looked like - she cared about that feeling bubbling up inside her the longer their lips clashed together.  Love, longing, desire, adoration, admiration - all those feelings and more burst forth the longer the kiss progressed.

Yang was fully prepared to profess a lot of love right there in the entryway, but Blake suddenly broke away, resting one hand on Yang’s collar to keep her from following.  Confused at the sudden loss of intimacy, she cleared her throat and struggled to find words while her mind was hung up on the kisses instead.

It was common knowledge that Blake scrambled her mind, so there was nothing to be embarrassed about, right?  Especially not when Blake had just awakened a very big and very ferocious desire within her.

“U-uh...wh-what?” she stammered, clearing her throat again and shaking her head in an attempt to clear her mind.  “Uh, what was that for?”

As fingers wove through her hair, Yang so wanted to see Blake’s eyes at the moment - that smart, sexy amber that looked right through her.  Instead, she would have to be satisfied with feeling Blake’s hand slide behind her neck and pull them closer together.

“Happy birthday,” Blake whispered in response, pressing another sultry kiss to Yang’s lips while her confusion soared through the roof.

“Uh…” she said, accepting another kiss in the darkness.  “But...it’s not my birthday?”

“Are you sure about that?”

Five minutes ago, she’d been pretty sure it wasn’t her birthday.  But with Blake pressed against her, kissing her...she wasn’t so sure.  Maybe it was her birthday.  Or maybe she didn’t care if it wasn’t her birthday.  

“I mean…” she got out before getting lost in another kiss, taking a step back as Blake pressed forward.  “Sure - yeah, it can be my birthday.”

Hearing a delighted laugh, Yang grinned.  No matter what it was, she loved making Blake laugh.  If that meant she had to change her birthday, then so be it.  It was just one day a year, anyway.  No big deal!

“Glad you agree,” Blake replied, running her hands up Yang’s shirt and disappearing when Yang tried to grab her and pull her back for a kiss.  When Yang let out a disgruntled sound, Blake laughed from somewhere off to the left.  

“I have a surprise for you,” Blake added, amusement evident in her voice.

“I hope it involves the two of us,” Yang replied, turning towards Blake and stepping forward.

“Oh it does.”

Hearing Blake in the opposite direction, Yang turned again and moved that way instead.  

“I think you’ll enjoy it immensely.”

Growing impatient with her lack of vision, Yang reached up to remove the blindfold - only for a hand to grab hers right before lips kissed her passionately - forcing her to forget her quest once again.  

But this time when Blake tried to back away, Yang refused to let go.  Instead, she pulled Blake closer, wrapping her arm around Blake’s waist while layering one kiss on top of another.  Letting out a content sigh, Blake acquiesced - opening her mouth and allowing Yang to deepen the kiss.

Without her vision, Yang focused on so many other sensations - like Blake’s tongue clashing with hers, playfully fighting for superiority.  Blake’s hands slid up her sides before moving across her chest, yanking the zipper down on her jacket before pushing the coat off of her shoulders.  She heard it hit the ground, neither of them caring to hang it up at the moment, not when the heat being generated between them grew hotter by the second.

“Mmm - mmmk -”

Blake tried to break away, but Yang followed and pressed another greedy kiss to her girlfriend’s lips - a kiss that was willingly accepted before Blake again pulled away.  “Mmm - Yang -”

“You said it’s my birthday...” Yang murmured, running her hand through Blake’s hair while kissing her neck, sucking and lightly biting just how she knew Blake liked.

“Yes -” Blake replied, letting out a small gasp when Yang nipped at her ear.  “And I - I have a surprise -”

“Do you…?” Yang whispered into Blake’s ear, feeling a shudder of ecstasy travel under her fingertips.

“Yesss...yes.”  Unexpectedly pulling away, Blake managed to slip out of Yang’s grasp and disappeared once more.  

“Ugh, again?” she whined, turning around as if she could somehow find Blake.

“I have a surprise for you,” Blake repeated, her voice steadier but still breathless.  “Can you come with me?”

When Yang raised a brow, Blake grabbed her hand and led her away from the front door.

“Don’t answer that.  Just...follow me.”

“I hope we’re continuing that kiss…” Yang muttered while allowing Blake to pull her forward.

“Maybe…”

“In the living room?” she guessed when she felt carpet underneath her feet - her excitement building once again.  “I’m totally on board with this.”

“Are you?” Blake whispered - her soft breath tickling Yang’s ear and sending new tingles of desire down her spine.

“Ohhh yeah.  Wherever you want, Blake - you know I’m always willing to...please you.”  Grinning at the thought, Yang reached out in another futile attempt to find Blake’s skin.  “Just don’t make me wait for it - or do I have to beg again?  You want me to beg, don’t you?”

Another light laugh, and Yang tried to turn back to Blake.  Instead, she felt soft lips touch her ear.

“You don’t have to beg,” Blake whispered.  “But first, your surprise.”

“I hope this surprise is you naked, because I can’t wait to nail -”

The blindfold suddenly disappeared and Yang blinked in the bright lights.  

When her mind processed what was in front of her, she found herself looking at Weiss, Ruby, and the entirety of Team JNPR - all of her closest friends standing underneath a homemade ‘Happy Birthday, Yang!’ banner with a cake on the table between them.

“Uh...surprise!” Ruby shouted, trying to keep the birthday surprise alive even though her cheeks were ultra-red.  Standing by Ruby’s side, Weiss shook her head and looked like she wanted to say something else entirely. Fortunately, Weiss was cut off by the much-delayed “Surprise!”s that JNPR managed to get out - each of them with varying degrees of shock or embarrassment on their faces.

“Surprise,” Blake whispered, nipping the bottom of Yang’s ear before backing away with a triumphant grin.  “Who’s embarrassed now?”

Turning back to her friends, teammates, and little sister, Yang felt her cheeks grow much warmer.

Ok, so that was pretty damn good.  Get her all riled up, then throw a bucket of cold water on her desire.  Touché, Belladonna.  Touché.

“Joke’s on you - I’m totally not embarrassed!” she replied, to which Blake rolled her eyes.  Proving her lack of embarrassment (even though she was just a little embarrassed), she smiled at her friends and family.  “Ok, peanut gallery.  Let’s eat cake, but then you need to leave so Blake and I can get down to business - if ya know what I mean.”

“We know exactly what you mean,” Weiss replied, folding her arms over her chest.  “Honestly, I’m surprised the two of you didn’t do it in the hall before walking in here.”

“Are you upset about that?” Yang retorted, knowing a good tease when she saw one.  “Sad you missed out?  I don’t think Blake’s into that, but...you can always ask.”

While Yang grinned, Weiss scoffed and turned to Blake.

“I know you have a blindfold, but do you also have earplugs so we can stop listening to her speak?”

“Oh!  I do!” Nora exclaimed, digging in her pockets in search of the random items.  Chuckling at the response, Yang winked at Weiss.

“Come on, Weiss.  I know you and Ruby get super freaky.”  Watching Weiss’ cheeks flush deep red while Ruby’s darkened to match, Yang smirked and pointed at Pyrrha and Jaune.  “Same with you two.”

“W-what??  I don’t know what you’re referring to -”

“Uhh - y-yeah, what she said -”

Laughing at the responses, Yang reached out and pulled Blake closer.

“If I’m going down, I’m taking all of you with me,” she said, waving her hand around the room while everyone’s cheeks blushed in culpability.  “Well, except you, Nora.”

“Found ‘em!” Nora shouted, holding up a pair of earplugs before sticking them in her ears.  “Sorry!” she then yelled, waving in Ren’s face. “What did they say!”

When Ren raised a finger to his lips and shushed his partner, Yang laughed and kissed Blake’s temple.

“So...was that your way of getting back at me?” she whispered into Blake’s ear, noticing the satisfying flush still on Blake’s cheeks - the lingering evidence of Blake’s very successful attempt to excite her.

“It was my attempt…” Blake replied, looking moderately disappointed in the results.  “I forgot you have no shame.”

“Not when it comes to you.”  Shrugging when Blake gave her a look, Yang let out a laugh as she stooped down and grabbed the blindfold off the ground.  “We’re totally keeping this for tonight,” she said, watching Blake’s linger on the strip of fabric for an enticingly-long time.  

Leaning close, she pressed her lips to Blake’s ear and whispered, “Guess who gets to wear it next?”

“I do!”

When the blindfold was snatched from her hand, Yang looked over in surprise - finding Ruby pulling it over her eyes while Weiss watched with a smug smile.

“I’m completely ok with this.”

“Of course you are,” Yang answered with an eye roll.  Sharing a look with Blake and finding a small flame of desire in those amber eyes, Yang spurred to motion - willing to do anything to rekindle that fire.  

“Ok!” she said, gaining everyone’s attention while taking Blake’s hand.  “Let’s eat my not-birthday cake so you can get out of here. I’ve obviously got better things to do.”

Blake blushed at the comment while everyone else groaned.  Yang grinned at the response, knowing she was about to have the best not-birthday birthday anyone had ever had.

[voyages-extraordinaires]

C:R ~VE~ Chapter 40

It’s about 13,000 km from Argentina to the Arctic, which means that we’ll be on this blimp for over four days.

When Cardia told me this, I felt my stomach sink so far it could’ve hit my spine.

She responds by giving me one of her brilliant smiles and helping me stand up.

“Come on,” she says. “You can’t see the land anymore.”

Shame swells through me as I cling to Cardia’s side and hobble towards the promenade windows.

“Not bad, nooooot bad...” Nemo beams as I hesitantly look out the window. “The last time you faced a view like this, you had to be carried!”

Barbicane looks at Nemo and runs a hand through his hair. “Still don’t know how you managed that one.”

Nemo pouts. “Ohhhh, ye engineer of little faaaaaaaaaaaaith! I was spurred on by a magnificent loooove power!”

Ned quickly walks over and lifts one of Nemo’s arms. “Love power can’t fix skinny-ass arms.” 

“Ohhh... that is truuuue...”

A wide smile cuts Nemo’s face as he uses his free hand to point a pistol against the harpooner’s nose. “But love power aaaaalso can’t fix a hole in the face, Mr. Land.”

“Woah woah woah!” Barbicane waves his hands and walks over, slapping Ned’s hand away from Nemo’s arm and Nemo’s gun away from Ned’s face. “Ned, hands to yourself. Nemo, where the hell were you even hiding that?!”

“Impeeeey Barbicane, a word to the wiiiise... you should have at least one gun and one bomb on your person at all times.”

“AT LEAST?!” Barbicane’s face goes pale as he begins patting down his friend.

Nemo just stands there, slumped and smiling as Barbicane begins removing several explosives from Nemo’s coat pockets.

To be honest, I’m only half-listening as all of this is going on. My eyes are captured by the sea stretching out beneath the ship from horizon to horizon. It’s a rough sea topped with white froth, its churning mesmerizing me and making me forget where I am. No matter where you view it from, the ocean is the same expanse.

It makes me relax, just a bit.

Barbicane takes a step back from the impressive pile of weaponry on the floor. Other than the aforementioned bombs (shrapnel, tear, and sleeping) and pistols, there are knives, box cutters, syringes, and vials of god-only-knows what. There’s even a small crossbow that looks like a prototype of some kind or another.

Nemo glances down at the pile, mumbling to himself as he counts everything up.

“Hmmm~ very thorough, Impeeey... but you’ve missed a few...” Nemo slowly lifts his goggles up and gives Barbicane a wink. “Care to look a little clooooser~?”

Barbicane shudders. “I think I’ll leave the ultra-invasive search to Polly-chan, thanks! Just lay off on the whole aggressive bit, won’t you? That goes for you, too, Ned... Ned?”

Ned Land is staring at Nemo’s face, his jaw slack and eyes wide.

“Oh,” Cardia smiles sympathetically. “I guess that was his first time seeing it.”

“Hrm?” Nemo peers from Cardia to Ned. “Seeing what?”

“In... Incredible...” Ned can barely form words. “I never... woulda believed it...”

Nemo tilts his head and sighs when he notices that Ned’s staring at his face. He rolls his eyes before putting his goggles back in place and muttering with a click of his tongue: “Paaaatheeeetic.”

---

The door finally clicks open after a few hours and we’re allowed to explore. The three men stick together like schoolyard chums, excitedly poring over every gear and wire that they come across. Cardia is kind enough to stay by me, teaching me the ins and outs of airship flight in a language I can understand.

But at night, Nemo always comes back to me without fail. He takes me to one of the viewing decks and we spend a long time talking about aerial navigation. He looks so happy, I can’t help but feel guilty whenever I cling to his arm at the ship’s movement.

... It doesn’t look like he minds too much, though, even when he has to steady me as we go back to our cabin. In fact, he looks downright gleeful...

I always try to stay up as long as I can, but the basic need for sleep eventually wins out over my fear, and I let myself be relaxed by Nemo’s excited humming and murmuring as he strokes my hair.

He’s always gone when I wake up, but I’m used to it by now. When it comes to airships, I don’t think the man ever sleeps!

---

My mood has improved considerably by the time the fourth day comes. It’s funny, most people would be afraid to be so far away from land and all terrestrial assistance, but I feel much better above the water. I know it sounds backwards, but I’m not questioning it. It’s nice not to feel nauseated for once.

“Say, have you noticed?” Cardia takes a step closer to me as we walk along one of the interior hallways of the airship. “The crew members have changed their uniforms.”

I take a closer look at the men walking past us. Cardia’s right, they’ve changed from plain jumpsuits into long white coats with fur-trimmed collars. They would blend perfectly into the snow, but they’re bright aliens against the metal of the ship. The eeriest piece of their uniform, though, are the circular masks they wear. With solid black eyes and flat, narrow beaks I can’t help but think of owls.

Cardia and I instinctively move closer to each other, even though the crew doesn’t even look our way.

When I look over at Cardia, her lips are drawn thin in worry.

“Cardia?”

She jumps in surprise before giving me a smile. “Sorry about that.”

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

Cardia shakes her head and looks around. “Being on an airship like this, surrounded by men in masks... I guess it just reminds me a bit of Twilight.”

I can’t imagine what it must have been like for her, or what support I could possibly give, so I simply reach over and squeeze her hand.

Somewhere in the background, I register what sounds like... a stampede?

“Oh, don’t worry about me,” Cardia shakes her head before patting my hand. “Really.”

“But...”

The noise is getting louder, and by the time I realize what it is, Nemo has already bounded in and thrown his arms around both Cardia and myself.

“Noooooooooo no no! That simply woooooooooon’t do!” he rubs his cheek against the wide-eyed Cardia’s. “This airship flies...”

Cardia gurgles helplessly as Nemo pulls her tighter against him and gives an enthusiastic thumbs up. “... On the wiiiiiiiiiiiiiind of friiiiiiieeeeendshiiiiiiiiiip!! So you’ll never, ever, eeeeeeeeeeever have to feel loneeeeeeeely!”

Nemo pulls away and puts his hands on Cardia’s shoulders-- she’s been yanked around so much by this point that she looks more like a rag doll than anything.

“The one similaaaarity between this place and Twilight Heaaaadquarters... is that in both places... your beloved, darling big brother is aaaaalways there to proteeeeect you!” Nemo beams.

Cardia slowly looks up at him and speaks in a deadpan expression. “Didn’t my ‘beloved, darling big brother’ perform experiments on me all the time back then...?”

Nemo ignores Cardia and yanks down the front of her cap playfully before turning to me. “And how are you handling things, myyyy deaaaar~? This cool beauty of an airship is quite smoooooth, isn’t she?”

I smile up at him. “You’re in a good mood, Nemo.”

“I’m in my eeeeeeeelement!” Nemo throws his arms into the air triumphantly. “At last, at last, at laaaaaaaaaaast I am back in the sky where I belong!! The sky is my home, much like the sea is yours!”

Before I realize it, he’s grabbed my hands and has spun me around like we’re on a playground. I’m not expecting it, and laughter bursts out of me before I can stop myself.

“Mmmnnnn~” Nemo puts his cheek on my hands and looks at me pleadingly. “Come to the bridge with me, woooon’t you?

“The bridge?”

Nemo nods.

“The bridge, where... this thing is piloted?”

Nemo’s still nodding.

“Where there’s... very big windows for maximum visibility and gauges showing exactly how high up in the air we are and... how fast we’re going... and...”

My sentence dies on my dry tongue as Nemo nods so hard that I’m afraid his goggles will fall off.

But before the chill can set into my body, Nemo wraps his thin arms around me and cradles me to his chest. He’s so warm and his excitement is so... it’s strange to say it, but it’s so... pure. His love for these ships is unsullied by the hate and bitterness that seeps into so many of his fancies.

He looks so happy.

“... All right, I’ll go with you.” I rest my cheek against his shoulder and sigh, trying to release the fear burrowing inside of me.

Nemo squeezes me tight and happily sways from one foot to the other while humming delightedly. “My cute, brave professooooooor--! I love you--!!” He releases me enough so that we can walk side by side, his arm wrapped around my waist so I couldn’t leave even if I wanted to.

“Oh, Cardia--!” I turn around to look at her.

“You two go on ahead,” she smiles sympathetically at me. “I think I’ll pass this time.”

I worriedly look at her as Nemo draws me away, and she replies with a friendly wave.

If I die from sheer terror, I’m blaming her.

...

It seems strange, given the situation we’re in, but it’s nice walking with him. I can pretend that we’re just a normal couple taking an afternoon stroll instead of flying thousands of feet in the air straight into the clutches of our enemy.

I thread my arm around his waist so we’re mirroring each other, and he responds by giving my head an affectionate kiss.

When we pass the large windows, I try my best to stare at the floor and concentrate on the sound of our boots hitting metal. It works surprisingly well. Soon the hallway opens up into a gargantuan space that, judging from Nemo’s happy dance, can only be the bridge. I’m surprised by how many of the mechanisms I recognize thanks to Cardia’s lessons, so I know exactly which screens NOT to look at. I really, really don’t want to know how high we are.

“Oh-hooooo!” Nemo scrambles back over to me and watches me examine the ballonet gauges. “I’m not too surprised you ‘dove’ over here, my little submarineeeer~!”

I give him a smile. “Cardia said that this would interest me, since it’s so similar to the ballast tanks of the Harper.”

“Airships and submarines do have to control their buoyancy in similar manners... hmm... I must say myyyyy sisteeeeer does have a good head for engineeeeeering... if oooonly I had gotten hold of her sooner, I miiiiight have steered her along the same scientific path as senseeeeeeiii...”

Nemo sniffs sadly, so I pat a hand on his arm to distract him. “Don’t you think she’d look cute in a white lab coat?”

Nemo quickly looks over at me, and I can see his eyes shining behind his goggles. “Mmm--! She’d look so preeeeecious, an angel of science just like Impeeeeey Barbicane says!”

I’m pretty sure Barbicane has never called Cardia an angel “of science” specifically, but Nemo looks so happy about his ‘little sister’ that I won’t correct him.

“Hmm, but he isn’t the ooooonly one with an angel of science...” Nemo thumps my nose with the tip of his finger. “I bet you looked lovely in your white coat back at your univeeeersity...”

I look back at the ballonet gauges, smiling rather coquettishly as Nemo leans in and runs his lips over my earlobe. “Peeeersonally... I think black would suit you better.... fwee hee hee... we’d maaaatch...”

Nemo can barely take my earlobe between his teeth before we hear someone clear their throat.

“Pardon the interruption, Nemo-kun.”

My happy, teasing expression is drained immediately when I heard those words-- that voice.

I pull myself away from Nemo to look at him, at that man standing there with a warm smile, like an old friend dropping in for tea.

“Aleister!”

[rurounidrift]

July 5 Blurr’s Horror Stream - Rise of the Guardians

Blurr announced that he’d been invited into the Wreckers. Rodimus came over to tell Blurr that the Decepticons were looking to hunt him down. Drift isn’t sure that Rodimus isn’t setting a trap.

Welcome to the 'speedxstealer' room. Hot Rod: "finally, we are watching something NOT SCARY" B l u r r: / will jump up behind him and hiss anyway to try and scare him! / Hot Rod: *squeaks and leaps in the air, whirling around to GLARE* B l u r r: K-KYAHAHAHA!! You sure jump high! Hot Rod: "you are so very rude." B l u r r: Oh, relax. B l u r r: I'm not that rude. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave trudges in and drops to his usual seat with exactly as much grace as is required not to look like it's a tired flop and no more* Hot Rod: I do not appreciate being scared ( huffs ) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy and Rumble join him, sprawling across the floor nearby.* B l u r r: Aww, my poor little croissant. B l u r r: / pats Hot Rod's helm/ Hot Rod: ( loud hissing ) I am NOT your poor little croissant!! ( doorwings flare to look more intimidating ) Bevel: *trundles in* B l u r r: K-Kyeheheheh. All right, fine fine. B l u r r: You sure are fun to prod at. B l u r r: / waves at Bevel / Bevel: *waves back* ItsyBitsySpyers: //What's a cross-aunt anyhow?// B l u r r: It's Hot Rod. Hot Rod: Non. B l u r r: Kyehehh. I'm joking. B l u r r: It's a French delicacy. A little bread. Hot Rod: Oui, if i were able to eat organic food. that is the first thing i would eat ItsyBitsySpyers: ((every time i look at your background i see prime going ⊂: )) Wing: *look who showed up*... *he looks so surprised* ItsyBitsySpyers: //Listen, you could eat whatever ya want, organic or not. Jus' maybe ya shouldn't.// B l u r r: [[ Prime can do that to blurr any day fbdsjkfs ]] B l u r r: You would eat a croissant first? B l u r r: / waves at Wing. / Wing: *head tilt. wave* Jazz: *climbs over the back of the couch and flops next to Soundwave. Hello he might be smoking. Literally. There is smoke rising off this dork* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave turns his fans on to keep the smoke blowing away from him* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Does he want to know.]] Jazz: *grumbles and waves claw* Jazz: I wish it had a schedule. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[What? What had a schedule?]] Whirl: *trots in and assumes his rightful place inside the Whirl Hammock* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Room for two?* Whirl: *always* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Up they go.* Jazz: *HUFF* the damnn... All Spark. *grumbling and waving smoke away* Whirl: *shifts around to make room for the twins and bobs his head* Sup. Jazz: Just chooses WHEN it wants to show me scrap. I didn't ASK to see NOTHIN'. Drift: *GUESS WHO'S HERE* Am I late?? Wing: *there's an empty couch. he'll take it up and stare at the armrest and rub at it a little* B l u r r: Nope. Whirl: Also, you REEK. *looks over to Jazz* Couldn't be bothered to take a SHOWER before you came? Drift: *oh look who's visiting again!* Hey Rodiiii— Rod. Hot Rod. Roddy. Jazz: Yo, I HAVE. Drift: *SMOOTH RECOVERY* B l u r r: Pits, you're embarrassing. Hot Rod: ( squints ) Hot Rod: I am Hot Rod. Not this... /Roddy/ Drift: Right. No nicknames. Forgot. Sorry. Jazz: It ain't my fault I got more runes burnin' in, man. *looking at Whirl* Whirl: You still smell. Hot Rod: ( nods and smiles slightly ) It's alright ItsyBitsySpyers: [[What did it show you, then?]] Jazz: Yah know what, maybe I do. But that ain't my problem. Jazz: *looks at Soundwave* Well, it was a lil jumbled up. Whirl: Unfortunately, no, it's all of OUR problem because we have to deal with the stink. Jazz: Look, man, I will come over there and roll all over yah. Then what? ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy shrugs* \\I DON'T GOTTA SMELL NOTHIN'.\\ ItsyBitsySpyers: *Click. Battlemask!* Whirl: If you touch me I'll remove whichever arm I get my claws on first. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Hey, good idea.// And there goes Rumble's. Jazz: You start tearin' limbs off me and we gonna have a damnn good dance off. Whirl: Don't touch me and there won't be a problem. Drift: *Hot Rod smILED* Jazz: I ain't gonna. B l u r r: / yanks Drift to sit down / Whirl: ...*under his breath, wryly amused* Traitors. Wing: *well, that hasn't changed much* Drift: *STUMbles and sits* Hot Rod: ( moves to sit down, humming quietly ) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rumble snickers* B l u r r: I have news for you, if you can stop staring at Baguette over there. Drift: He doesn't like nicknames, Blurr. Drift: *oh. wait. news.* Yeah? What is it? Whirl: Anyway, is that what your whatever-it's-called smells like? That artifact? Because man, that thing must be stinky. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Is he a cross-aunt or a bag-et? Make up your mind.// Bevel: *finding the story this song is telling kind of funny* B l u r r: / huffs/ I'm joking with him. Hot Rod: ( hISSES AT BLURR ) B l u r r: / HISSES RIGHT BACK / B l u r r: Easy, Hot Rod, or I'll call you something worse. B l u r r: / looks back at Drift / Guess who is official Wrecker status? Drift: *... they're CATS* Hot Rod: ( doorwings flare in his indignation, as he mumbles in french ) Jazz: I dunno what it smells like... to you, I mean. Jazz: It just smells normal to me. Wing: *slight amuse* Well. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Somewhere, Ravage is insulted by the comparison* Drift: *optics brighten* Really? Hey, congratulations! Hot Rod: ( huffs and sits demurely, servos clasped in his lap ) Whirl: About time, Teach. Good job. B l u r r: / turns to Hot Rod/ Je suis desole, ami. B l u r r: / smirk. Turns back to Drift and Whirl/ Yeah, well... he made a huge deal out of it. Jazz: *waves at Wing * Whirl: As well he SHOULD. It's only gonna get better for you from here, mech. Whirl: Trust me on this. Hot Rod: ( squints at blurr before a small smile again ) pardonné, mon ami. Wing: *he's not really sure what they're congratsing on but he'll wave at Jazz right back* B l u r r: / smirks and wiggles claws at Hot Rod / B l u r r: [ yoooo who's ready? ]] Drift: *oh! hey!* Wing! Drift: ((ready!)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((ready)) Bevel: [[ready Jazz: *grins at Wing* You probably don't remember me, man, but it's good t'see yah. Whirl: ((I am!)) Hot Rod: ( READYYY ) Hot Rod: ( soft laugh and wiggles his digits back at Blurr) B l u r r: / THERE. He made a friend / Wing: *little wave at Drift* *back to Jazz* There's a lot I don't remember, but it's coming back. Drift: *smiles* It's good to see you. Jazz: No worries. We can just meet all over again! *grins* B l u r r: Mm, it's been a while. B l u r r: [[ kay imma start! ]] Wing: And you. *to Jazz* I'd like that... I'm sorry, what was your name? Jazz: Name's Jazz! Wing: Nice to meet you again, Jazz. Jazz: Nice to meet yah! Drift: *he's listening to this with... some concern. not gonna interrupt though.* Whirl: *salutes Wing with a claw* I'm Ultra Magnus. Bevel: *enjoying just being quiet for a little bit tonight* Bevel: *giggles anyway at Whirl's answer* Drift: ... He's not Ultra Magnus. Wing: *he just smiles and shakes his head at Whirl* No, you're not. But nice try. Drift: *drift will help whirl trick random strangers. he won't help him trick Wing.* Whirl: How is it that you remember ME, anyway? B l u r r: Maybe he knows you're not Ultra Magnus. Whirl: *shoots Drift a brief, dirty look* Drift: *quietly* And how is it you don't remember others? Hot Rod: ( laughs and points ) I knew it! Whirl: How would someone be able to tell? I could be from another dimension. ...I AM from another dimension. Wing: *slightly uncomfortable*... You're not from this world. Whirl: I think the only ones of us from the same dimension is these three--*gestures to the twins, and to Soundwave* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave nods.* Bevel: *holds up hand* ItsyBitsySpyers: *And points to her, now that he sees her.* Wing: It's... I don't know. But please. Movie. *just shakes his head at Drift* Not now. Whirl: Oh, and apparently her, too. Drift: *concerned look* ... You're okay, though? Are you okay? Whirl: *shrugs and returns his atttention to the film* Wing: I think so. *he's pretty sure?* Jazz: *gonna totally lean on Soundwave. Or try to. Just to be obnoxious* Whirl: ((oh my god it's me as a kid)) Drift: *... hesitant nod.* Okay. Not now. Drift: Later. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave puts a feeler claw in Jazz's face and pushes.* Whirl: Well, I can approve of riling up the natives on principle. Jazz: *awww.* Bevel: *decides she likes Cupcake best* Jazz: *leans against feeler instead* You're a grump, Sounders. Drift: *... is soundwave still denying his feelings* Whirl: that sandman fellow works hardest of all. Whirl: (9CUPCAKE <3)) ItsyBitsySpyers: *He is a river in Egypt, Drift.* B l u r r: .... /claws into Drift's arm/ I like him. Drift: *sad* B l u r r: / omg what are you sad for. / ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He is not a grump. He simply enjoys his personal space.]] Jazz: Aiight, fine. Then say get off, you don't gotta put your extended hand in my face. Whirl: Yeah, that seems to be a concept foreign to him, Soundwave. Whirl: *...says the mech crammed into a hammock with two other mechs* Drift: ... space bridge bombs. B l u r r: I bet we could steal them. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He's not saying those two words in your presence.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Primus knows what you would do in response.]] Whirl: The rabbot's kinda cool. I approve of hilding grudges. Whirl: ...is this how 'Buster inducted you, Teach? B l u r r: No. Pits no. Drift: Pfff. Whirl: Has it even happened yet? B l u r r: He just asked me and then picked me up and yelled at the entire base. Wing: *he likes the big guy* Drift: No trumpets? B l u r r: "He said yes" and Topspin just thumbs up. Whirl: *actually laughs--a short one, but perhaps the first genuine one for a long while* Whirl: That sounds like 'Buster, all right. Hot Rod: I like the tooth fairy Hot Rod: so prettyyyy B l u r r: Well, that's what he did. B l u r r: Now he wants to put an Autobot symbol on me Whirl: You've already got one. B l u r r: He wants to put on of THEIRS on me Whirl: Well, you should do it. It's an honor. B l u r r: Well, he'd have to add it somewhere else. B l u r r: Because mine isn't going anywhere Hot Rod: your belly B l u r r: No, I don't want to match you! Drift: ... You can wear a second badge somewhere else, right? B l u r r: [[ wow is the stream dropping? ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He had two.]] B l u r r: [[ it had a moment ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[One on each arm.]] Hot Rod: oh right Hot Rod: last time people realized i had a badge there... Hot Rod: they started to smooch my belly Hot Rod: ( whispers ) it was weird Wing: *oh he really likes this person* B l u r r: Why can't I ? B l u r r: I can get as many as I want. Drift: Yours looks very nice, Hot Rod. Drift: *actually hasn't noticed Hot Rod's. keeps looking at his big ol' eyes instead.* B l u r r: / snorts and whispers to hot rod / That's what cannibals do before they bite. Bevel: Jellyfish robot. Drift: *they're so /round./* Hot Rod: ( pats his belly badge and laughs ) merci beaucoup. Whirl: Yeah, you've got plenty of oher places to stick it. Hot Rod: ( *** his head ) Kiss bellies? ( wide optics ) B l u r r: Yes. Hot Rod: (( he has the big anime eyes )) B l u r r: [[ the sleiigh is my favorite! ]] Hot Rod: ( gasps ) Really?? That is... oh dear... So many people want to eAT ME B l u r r: Yes, they do. /pats his helm / Drift: I'm sure not everyone who kisses your belly wants to eat you. B l u r r: Either way, I need this new one to go somewhere that isn't as... centered as my own Drift: Probably very few of them. Like... one percent, probably. Hot Rod: ( looks at his belly badge ) Then why... are people kissing my belly. Hot Rod: ( grins ) why not your forehead? Whirl: What, are you ashamed of his badge? B l u r r: ... why in the pit would I put it there? B l u r r: / scoffs/ No,  but mine comes first. /pats purple badge / Whirl: *shrugs* Hot Rod: ( shrugs ) Hot Rod: you could? Drift: *opens mouth.* ... *shuts it.* ... *opens mouth again* Because... they like your badge? B l u r r: Because they want to eat you. Drift: *honestly has trouble figuring out why anyone kisses anyone anywhere, but.* B l u r r: / shrugs at Hot Rod / Don't you think red would clash with purple? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Red looks very nice with purple.]] Whirl: I've got to second that, it generally does. Bevel: Purple looks good with everything. Hot Rod: ( giggles ) But we have the same badge. Ah, people are so strange these days B l u r r: Hmm... Whirl: He's got a neat horse, though. B l u r r: He does... Whirl: Anyway, why not stick it on your pauldron? Or better yet, pauldrons? Whirl: Get two smaller ones. B l u r r: I suppose I could. Drift: ... Where does Roadbuster wear his? Whirl: Hell yeah, look at that rabbit kicking ***. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[What nonsense. There are no memories stored in teeth.]] B l u r r: I think it's on the front somewhere. Drift: ... You sure? It's in their heads. Maybe their teeth are, like... back-up drives for their brains? Bevel: Maybe there are in this universe? Whirl: Or... now, this is a wild idea. Try and bear with me, folks. Whirl: It's magic. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Humans do not have backup drives.]] Wing: That's not impossible. Bevel: Magic memories. :D Drift: You sure? Drift: ((...... do they believe in a tooth mouse in france)) Drift: ((or wherever that mouse was)) Whirl: ((I couldn't tell ya)) Bevel: [[sort of Bevel: [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tooth_fairy#Related_myths Whirl: *that's no way to treat a concerned and loyal horrifying beast, you turd* Drift: ((neat!)) Drift: ... Why are they whispering? Can't the kids not see them? B l u r r: They can if they believe in them Drift: Oh. Huh. B l u r r: They can see them if they believe in them. B l u r r: But he can't see that one... Bevel: Jack is probably being polite Whirl: We don't they let themselves get seen every now and then, once they're like... established, then? Whirl: To keep it going. Drift: That's a good question. Drift: ... Maybe they do? Whirl: Yeah, maybe they do. Wing: *oh no* B l u r r: That must be weird, though. B l u r r: People believing in you...? That must be hard. B l u r r: I would fail as a guardian day one. Drift: I believe in you. Whirl: Pfft. Lord, if that was what we needed to exist, I'd have been gone a long time ago. B l u r r: Aw, I would believe in you, Whirl. B l u r r: / smirks at Drift / Thanks Drift: I believe in YOU TOO, Whirl. Hot Rod: chinshands and very focused on the movie Whirl: No you don't, Drift, you just tell me nice things so I'll do what you tell me. And Blurr... well, maybe. You think you do, but only because you don't REALLY know me. Whirl: But I appreciate the gesture all the same. *dryly* B l u r r: well pits, no one REALLY knows me, either. Drift: That's slag. I know that wouldn't work on you. Whirl: *he just gives Drift a stare that is half-deadpan, half-amused* Hot Rod: I don't think anyone knows anybody very well. Too much vulnerability Wing: Mm. Hot Rod: ( laces his digits together, smiling ) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave looks up and notices the eggs. He tries not to think of Tarantulas and fails.* Hot Rod: Trust is hard to give Whirl: *stares at the eggs* Drift: ... Sometimes it takes something other than trust. Hot Rod: What else is of worth? If not trust? Hot Rod: Is trust not the foundation for everything? Whirl: Not a damn thing, Hot Rod. Whirl: Quicker you learn that, the better. Drift: Sometimes you have to show yourself to someone else even if you don't trust them. Hot Rod: ( rolls his eyes ) I am not a naive child, I know. Hot Rod: ( shakes his head ) Whirl: You talk like one. Hot Rod: That's very dangerous Drift: Not because you trust they won't use it against you, but because you want them to have that piece of you no matter what they do with it. Hot Rod: I do not? Hot Rod: I talk... normally? Whirl: I mean, taklking about things like trust and all that rot. Hot Rod: And what about it. It's important to talk about Whirl: Best not to rely on it. Whirl: You'll be disappointed every time. Hot Rod: I'd rather face that disappointment than not do it in the first place Whirl: More fool you, then. Hot Rod: ( rolls his eyes and looks back to the movie ) B l u r r: What a bunch of dumb followers. Rodimus: /comes in all late to sit next to Blurr/ Yo. B l u r r: ... / glance at/ Hi ? Drift: *wraps arm protectively around Blurr's shoulders. Drift: ((see i know he's bullshiitting here but i like to think pitch actually means it for a second)) Rodimus: /looks at Drift and then Blurr/ I'm here to collect your bounty B l u r r: [[ he does in the book >>;; ]] Drift: ((omg good)) B l u r r: [[ his story in the book is sad ;A; ]] Wing: ((I never read it)) B l u r r: [[ he has a daughter and she like hates him ;A; ]] Drift: ((aww ;;)) B l u r r: [[ ITS A REALLY SAD STORY THATS WHY I LIKE PITCH SO MUCH ]] Whirl: So, wait. Hold up. You're here to collect a bounty someone has on Teach? B l u r r: It's been a long time, but I think his daughter is Mother Nature ]] B l u r r: ... Wait, what bounty? Drift: *... pulls blurr closer* Whirl: *zoops his head up out the hammock to stare at Rodimus* Wing: *does he have to get up? please don't make him get up* Drift: There are a lot of bots in here that aren't gonna let you collect on that. Hot Rod: What's happening Bevel: [[She is mother nature yeah Drift: ((oh dang that's rough, not only your daughter but ALL OF NATURE hates you)) B l u r r: [[ yEAH ]] Bevel: [[bunny is also an alien that turns into a four armed monster when he eats chocolate Whirl: ((omg awesome.....)) Drift: ((whhh)) Drift: ((whhwh?)) B l u r r: Wait, I thought you ERASED my bounty? Drift: ((wh)) Bevel: [[lol u ok Wing: ((Drift broke)) Drift: ((i'm.)) B l u r r: [[ lmfao ]] Bevel: [[Bevel would like Bunny more if the movies actually made him a shapeshifter lol Whirl: *he'll never admit it, ever. Under the severest of tortures. But he likes Babytooth* Drift: ((four armed alien monster)) B l u r r: [[ god I love the fact that Jude Law is Pitch ]] Whirl: ((is ayone else's sound doing a weird thing)) Drift: ((yep)) B l u r r: [[ what weird sound thing? ]] Whirl: ((o, it stopped!)) Bevel: [[i'm definitely not lying either https://robinbigda.wordpress.com/2015/01/27/e-aster-bunnymund-and-the-warrior-eggs-at-the-earths-core/ Drift: ((like a slenderman sound)) B l u r r: [[ is it over now? ]] Drift: (("and attempts to change the demise of the Golden Age and keep Pitch from going evil" *CLUTCHES HEART*)) Drift: ((yeah the sound stopped.)) B l u r r: [[ yES ]] B l u r r: his story is so sad. ]] B l u r r: [[ GOD HES SO CUTE ]] Rodimus: /got lost in the movie/ Ah what? Bounty. Ah Oh yeah....I did didn't I? B l u r r: You erased it. Whirl: So, you erased Blurr's bounty. And you're not here to collect on it. Correct? Hot Rod: You have a bounty?? B l u r r: ... Apparently. Whirl: How much wree ya worth, Teach? B l u r r: More than Ultra Magnus. Whirl: I'm worth a pretty penny, myself. B l u r r: He has a scythe! /sparkle optic / B l u r r: He's my favorite Guardian... Drift: ... Well, he's not a GUARDIAN, but... Whirl: I like the rabbit. Hot Rod: I like the fairy Bevel: Nick has sword. Whirl: ((DISAPPOINTED THAT ONE OF THOSE WASN'T A BIGFOOT)) Drift: *mumbles* I like Pitch too. Drift: *well. Feel for him, at any rate.* B l u r r: / frowning / Of course he's gonna lose... /sinks down in couch / Drift: *poor guy.* B l u r r: / sulking / Whirl: *snickers* Wing: *head shake* Drift: *pats Blurr's back* B l u r r: Oh and I'm sure they just won't feel bad at all B l u r r: Shoving him into isolation to live an invisible lifestyle. Whirl: Why should they? he picked a fight with them. Whirl: He lost. B l u r r: He didn't pick a fight, he HAD to . Whirl: He didn't have to do anything. B l u r r: / shrugs/ I'm on his side. Bevel: They did the same thing with Jack and only got sorry because the moon said he was important. B l u r r: They ignored Jack the entire beginning of the movie until- yeah. Whirl: By all rights Jack was a pain in their ***. B l u r r: He was "important" Wing: It didn't have to end like this. Whirl: He never did anything for them except give em a headache. B l u r r: Fear is just as important as anything else. Whirl: *shrugs* Whirl: Point is--he earned that punch, at the very least. Drift: Yeah, Pitch didn't have to do anything. He could have chosen to give up before he began and succumb to despair, loneliness, and permanent isolation. That was totally an option. Bevel: Maybe a timeout will make Pitch realize he can exist /with/ the others instead of having to destroy them? Drift: But, I mean—an awful option. Whirl: That's life, Drift. B l u r r: It's on both ends. B l u r r: They have to acceptHIS existence, too. Whirl: They didn't do a dang thing to him. Whirl: Not until he started stealing from em. Hey, I admire his chtuzpah. He had style. Whirl: But if you pick a fight you can't win, you deserve what you get. Bevel: The horses were neat. B l u r r: His concept is neat. Drift: They could've had a truce. A little fear, a little wonder, everyone is happy. B l u r r: Yep. Wing: That, yes. Drift: I mean. Except for the children during the fear parts. But. Whirl: *shrugs again* Drift: Humans can handle some fear. Whirl: I don't get it, cos people LIKE to be scared every now and then. Whirl: I mean, obviously there's a place for him. Drift: He could make movies for us. Whirl: Why else would they have horror movies and stuff? Drift: ... *punches Blurr's side* B l u r r: / is punched wtf / Drift: Hey. Jack and Pitch teaming up. Fear AND fun. B l u r r: ... That's me! Drift: Maybe they did and that's what horror movies are. B l u r r: Well, I have fun scaring people, anyway. Drift: ... And you! You too! *was totally thinking about movies.* B l u r r: Right, Hot Rod? Drift: Heh. That counts. Hot Rod: What B l u r r: I like scaring you. Hot Rod: I wasn't paying attention Hot Rod: oui, you do B l u r r: oui! B l u r r: Horror movies ARE fun. Hot Rod: it's not fun and I will try to scare you as well B l u r r: You can TRY. Rodimus: /finally just realized they didn't watch a horror movie/ Whirl: Pfft! I'd pay to see THAT. Hot Rod: *scowls* Hot Rod: *its hard to be scary when you have the cutest optics ever* Drift: *they really are the cutest* Bevel: I am good at scaring people. Whirl: Same. Drift: *laughs* Yeah! You got me a couple weeks ago. Hot Rod: *happy beeping because thank you for the compliment* B l u r r: Anyway. /looks at Rodimus/ You can't collect a bounty that doesn't exist. Rodimus: /looked at Blurr/ Obviously .... B l u r r: I was caught and released, or so I was told. Whirl: Yeah, I never got a straight answer out of you. Whirl: You here to collect Teach? Drift: I'm willing to try to stab you again. Keep that in mind. Hot Rod: ( claps his hands together ) ALRIGHT. Let's not get into a fight. You! ( points at rodimus ) are not going to collect Monsieur blurr Hot Rod: And that's that! and you all! ( vague gesture to everyone else ) are not going to fight anyone Whirl: O-ho, I'd like to see you stop me, pipsqueak. Rodimus: Good for you Drift. /looks at Whirl./ I WAS but thats not going to happen now is it? Whirl: Oh, I can't even BEGIN to tell you the ways that's not gonna happen, mech. B l u r r: / pulling up a snack box. Chewing on snacks. Anyone want some? Holds them all out. / Hot Rod: ( covers his face ) Non! We are not going to do anything--- Whirl: Drift over there, threatening to stab you--I'm not NICE like he is. Rodimus: No point and capturing someone with no bounty...  /takes a snack and huffs/ Hot Rod: ( starts to shoo rodimus ) monsieur, let's shoo now~ Wing: *just watching this exchange* Well, now that that's settled... B l u r r: ... /glances at snack box. Rodimus. Snack box. Grabs one and eats / Drift: I'm not going to start any fights. Bevel: Are we fighting? *looks around* B l u r r: / waves claw at wing again/ B l u r r: Want a snack? Drift: But I'm not going to hold back if HE threatens my best friend. Hot Rod: ( huffs ) Wing: *blink*... No, thank you. Whirl: I'm pefectly willing to start a fight. But--*waves a claw and un-zoops* Obviously he's not gonna give us any trouble. B l u r r: You sure? All right. /smirks at Wing and wiggles claws again /

Missed some.

Hot Rod: ( LETS FORGET MY MISTAKE ) B l u r r: What does a pirate- You've never met a pirate?! Drift: ((both get censored so)) B l u r r: Well, I'm a pirate! /presses claw to chassis/ We ravage the universe for valuable artifacts. Adventures! Whirl: He's got an eyepatch and everything. B l u r r: You ever wanted something, but you weren't allowed to have it? We take it! Whirl: *regards Blurr upside-down* We need to get you a bird,, though. Hot Rod: Or! you can ask nicely for it! ( happy smiles ) B l u r r: ... N-No. B l u r r: No, pirates don't ask. Bevel: Pirates do whatever they want. Hot Rod: Why not? It's nice to do Rodimus: /stretched/ Speaking of pirates .... B l u r r: / SIGH / B l u r r: you should be a pirate, mon amie. /looks at rodimus/ What, Rodimus? Hot Rod: Could I be a nice pirate? Rodimus: I gotta message for you, from Megatron actually. B l u r r: ... I mean, I guess.. B l u r r: / freezes / B l u r r: From who? Drift: Hot Rod, you can be anything you want. Drift: I believe in you. Rodimus: Megatron /he repeated/ Rodimus: Oh and Starscream. B l u r r: ... and what does the oh great King Meg- WHY Drift: *oh that sounds like serious business* B l u r r: What do THEY want? Drift: *leeeans forward to see around Blurr. don't mind him just eavesdropping in.* Rodimus: /he leaned over to take a snack/ They want you to turn yourself in /he tried not to laugh/ Rodimus: I'm serious though Whirl: *still watching Blurr upside-down* Well. You should kill them, obviously. B l u r r: ... Turn myself in? B l u r r: for what? I left the universe... B l u r r: I mean, I leave periodically. Wing: *confused face* Rodimus: Riiight. Kill Megatron because its the easiest thing to do. /he deadpanned/ Drift: ... Turn himself in for WHAT? He's not even bothering them anymore. Jazz: *pokes Wing* So, mech. Whirl: It'd sure as hell be fun to TRY. Jazz: I know yah don't know me, but if you wanna drop a line sometime, I'm down to chat. Rodimus: You do know its not hard for Star to catch you? Drift: *looks at Blurr* I mean, are you? I dunno, I didn't think you bothered the Cons much lately. B l u r r: ... He can't keep up with me. Wing: Oh, no, of course. I wouldn't mind that at all. B l u r r: / looks at Drift / No. I don't mess with them. Rodimus: Can't he? And of course they're going to mess with him. B l u r r: Wait, slow down. Drift: So what's their problem with you? B l u r r: / waves claw / B l u r r: Are you and Megatron on good terms? Rodimus: PFT as if. Jazz: *smiles at Wing* I can show yah pictures of my camp. Rodimus: Well...we're more on neutral grounds.... B l u r r: / hiss snarl / Traitor. Whirl: So what does he care if Teach goes pirating around dimensions, anyway? B l u r r: Anyway... that aside. Whirl: I've seen your planet, the place is a sty. He's got other things to worry about. B l u r r: What do they want? I haven't stolen anything from them. B l u r r: Recently... Drift: So Megatron is on neutral grounds with the guy who's ruling part of Cybertron... B l u r r: ALL of Cybertron... Drift: ... buuut wants the guy who LEFT Cybertron and ISN'T BOTHERING THEM anymore to turn himself in. Wing: *little smile* What planet is it on? Drift: Yeah. Sounds fishy. Jazz: Earth, of course! Whirl: *nods* Rodimus: Takes one to know one. /he eats a little/ ANYWAY. What they do is their business. I'm just telling you to....well...ya know.../mumbles/ Wing: Earth... I've never been there. B l u r r: I'm not a traitor. /mumbling/ B l u r r: You're telling me to turn myself in. B l u r r: To Megatron. So they can throw me in a CAGE. Bevel: Earth can be really neat sometimes. B l u r r: and FIX me. Whirl: As if any of us would elt that happen. Jazz: It ain't so bad. I'll send you some pictures sometime. It really is a good lookin' planet. Rodimus: /vented loudly/ I didn't even say that Drift: *tightens grip around Blurr* B l u r r: So what ARE you saying? Whirl: There's no prison that can keep me in or out. Not anymore. B l u r r: Either I give up or they chase me and my fleet down? B l u r r: Why do they want ME? Rodimus: I'm telling YOU to get out of the system your aft has been sitting in, for the past few cycles. B l u r r: ... Wait, what? Rodimus: You keep doing everything Prime wanted to do. Rodimus: They, don't like it... Wing: *bothered by the other conversation?* I... I'd really love to see that sometime. But I've heard Cybertronians aren't that welcome there. Rodimus: I don't care. Bevel: Some Earths are okay with visits. B l u r r: They don't like that I'm doing... / trails off/ Pardon? Whirl: Wait, they['re telling Blurr to leave the dimension he's in? Right now? With 'Buster? Jazz: Well, not all of us are. But, we're workin' on things. Whirl: That's not even THEIR dimension! B l u r r: No, I travel, Whirl. B l u r r: I bounce... Wing: *nods* I see. It makes sense. Whirl: Well, are you bouncing over to THEIR doorstep and picking fights? Drift: ... So you're warning him. So he can go hide. Rodimus: Did I tell him to go hide? Drift: Fiiiine, nitpicker. Ignore that part. You're WARNING him. Is or isn't that what you're saying. B l u r r: No, I'm not... bouncing to anything. Whirl: Then I don't see where they get off. B l u r r: I mean, I'm not messing with them. They just don't like that my perks are that I can do what my Master did. B l u r r: Being a pirate. In a sense, I can do exactly what Optimus wanted. Rodimus: Yeees, I'm warning him. Is that what you want to hear? Jazz: Well, lemme give yah my frequency. And you can comm me. Whirl: Did they join the Galactic Council or something? Whirl: Because I mean--in all fairness, you ARE making enemies THAT way. Hot Rod: Huh, which dimension to you plan on jumping? Rodimus: No they didn't, they're just a bunch of left over 'Cons. Hot Rod: Because mine is... ( coughs ) dangerous Whirl: Then they're being idiots. Drift: ... Don't know. Still deciding. Whirl: It's not like they don't have enough to worry about with that sad bal of garbage you all call home. B l u r r: / looks at Hot rod/ I know yours is. But, I bounce there sometimes. I bounce everywhere. B l u r r: I seek out relics and artifacts. Drift: *trying to decide whether he thinks Rodimus is helping Blurr in order to somehow help himself, or whether Rodimus is flat out lying to him.* Bevel: *should probably be paying attention the conversation with Blurr* Hot Rod: ( squinty look ) Hot Rod: Careful, we have many... who do not like our kind B l u r r: Why do you think I still have Jazz? B l u r r: He's a relic. Rodimus: /shrugs/ Wing: *nods again* I'll give you mine as we- *wait what?* Wing: *looks at Jazz* Jazz: *... smiles* Rodimus: Oh! Guess what though? /he's actually smiling at Blurr. Like a real smile. What even is this?/ B l u r r: ... What? B l u r r: / looking at him like hes got something on his face/ Rodimus: Remember Earth? Wing: *little head shake* Should I ask? *curious* B l u r r: Yeah... Jazz: Well, you can ask. I mean, I'm pretty sure you'll think I'm lyin'! Jazz: *laughs* but I'll tell yah. PRomise not to tell anyone else. B l u r r: / pokes Hot Rod / I'll just bring Drift with me and we can all hang out with you and your Autobots. Totally safe. B l u r r: /and prime can be there to step on me yes / Rodimus: /pft/ Wing: I don't mean to be rude. But what did he mean by that? *gestures to Blurr* Jazz: By a relic? Hot Rod: ( *** his head then laughs ) Alright. I'll put in a good word for you all. Just no eating bots. Jazz: I'm th'All spark. *taps chassis* Hot Rod: ( *** I DID IT AGAIn ) Whirl: ((OMG)) B l u r r: Oh, I'll go on a diet if you let me meet your Prime. Hot Rod: ( I MEAN CANTS HESUS ) Rodimus: Well~ You know the who transwarp thing that happened? Well, it happened and Earth is right next to Cybertron and its not .... Rodimus: decaying orbit or anything B l u r r: ... Earth didn't get destroyed? B l u r r: Wait, Earth is orbiting Cybertron now? Rodimus: /nods/ Yup~ B l u r r: / claws to helm/ Rodimus, why don't you just drain the planet to revive Cybertron?! Whirl: Well. B l u r r: / Exactly down Prime's route / Whirl: They doomed a whole planet and they wanna get on YOU for piracy? Wing: *blink* I'm sorry, I don't know what that is, but it must be something important to your world. Whirl: Typical Decepticon hypocrites. Hot Rod: ( hisses ) nobody is going to drain Earth Hot Rod: Not on my watch Jazz: It's kinda like our creator... sorta. B l u r r: Oh, not your earth. That's OUR Earth. Bevel: Is Earth Unicorn in your universe too? B l u r r: That slag doesn't exist in our universe. Rodimus: Because Cybertron doesn't just run on the ccore of other planets? Bevel: Unicron* even i can spell]] Whirl: Ours either, for the record, Bevel. B l u r r: We could use its resources, though... You. You could. Whirl: I mean you might as well, everyone on that Earth has to be dead already. Wing: Oh. *there it dawns on him. he looks Jazz up and down once* How fascinating. Jazz: *snort* Yeah, but I'm still me! Rodimus: I do! Thats what I'm tryin' to tell ya./looks at Whirl/ Everyone on that Earth is alive Whirl: How? Whirl: They lost their sun. They're orbiting Cybertron. Bevel: That must be really nice. Rodimus: Somethin' the 'bots from that universre did to protect the planet. Whirl: Hmm. Mark my words, it won't last. B l u r r: So, slow down. Rodimus: Don't ask me, I'm not Perceptor. B l u r r: You're telling me that Earth is orbiting... Cybertron. Whirl: They've already killed Earth. B l u r r: And the Decepticons want to waste their time chasing me? Rodimus: Yup~ Wing: I... *hand at his chin* I have so many questions, but I won't ask them right now. Whirl: Like I said: typical Decepticon hypocrites. Jazz: Whenever yah want to. I'm an open book. More or less. Bevel: *none of her questions have really been answered so she's just confused* Rodimus: How do I explain this....so many things happened when that Earth showed up. B l u r r: So Megatron and Starscream pulled you into the room where it happens... B l u r r: to tell me to give up. Rodimus: Slag no B l u r r: How do they know what I'm DOING? B l u r r: / blurr lol u killed thundertron / Rodimus: I'm not on speaking term with them like that. Rodimus: I don't know YOU tell me? Rodimus: Because they seem to be tracking you some how B l u r r: I mean, I'm doing scrap, but it's... not their business- B l u r r: / flares armor / I thought if I left the planet, they would leave me alone. Rodimus: Done anything interesting lately? B l u r r: ... Killed Thundertron. Rodimus: Ah... Drift: ... Isn't Thundertron ANOTHER pirate? Wouldn't the Decepticons be glad he's gone? Wing: Thank you. And please don't think that's one way. I can promise my life has been far quieter than that, but if you have questions... Whirl: Wasn't he some kind of pirate lord? Bevel: Yeah. Jazz: Oh, man. I would love to chit chat with yah B l u r r: Yes. But the Decepticons won't see it that way. B l u r r: They're gonna see it how Megatron saw Optimus... Whirl: wAS HE A 'cON? Whirl: ((whop. all caps)) B l u r r: / flicks finials/ Right, Rodimus? B l u r r: They see Optimus. Bevel: *was working for him lol* Rodimus: Yup Whirl: Wow. I... I can't believe it. Whirl: Blurr. B l u r r: What? Whirl: The decepticons are EVEN DUMBER in your dimension than in mine. Whirl: Never thought I'd see the day. B l u r r: / snort / B l u r r: / nudges Drift/ Still wanna roll with us? Wing: We will, certainly. But you... Your camp. What is it like? Rodimus: /pulls out a datapad to read/ Jazz: Well, currently, I'm camped out in the woods. Lotta trees. Drift: If the Decepticons are coming for you? Then I'm standing in their way. B l u r r: ... I'm almostflattered. B l u r r: / blinks/ They think of me as Optimus... B l u r r: / presses claws to chassis/ Me... the waste of space... as dangerous as my Master... Wing: I've heard of those. They're massive, aren't they? Bevel: You are not even a Prime though. Whirl: "Waste of space" is THEM talking, Teach. Jazz: Oh, yeah! Way massive! But, I guess everythin' is massive to me. I'm pretty short. Heh... Whirl: Don't give 'em the satisfaction of believeing them. Jazz: But, they got these huuuuge trees. Like canopies over my camp. Rodimus: Good luck with Megatron if ya meet him /scrolling through his pad/ Whirl: ((HOW DID I SPELL THAT SO WRONG)) B l u r r: ... Chances are I AM going to meet him. B l u r r: If they're chasing me. Wing: That sounds nice. Where I'm from, I'll be lucky to see the plant life growing half my height. I'd love to see that. Rodimus: You're going to die...if you guys fight... B l u r r: ... No, I won't. B l u r r: I can beat him. Rodimus: Yes you will. Rodimus: No you can't B l u r r: I can! Rodimus: How? B l u r r: / flares plating / I can beat both of them! Whirl: I wouldn't count Drift out. He's an idiot, but he can fight. Whirl: And, fighting 'Cons is what Wreckers do, so I think you might have some support from your new squad. Rodimus: /vents/ Have you fought Prime and won? B l u r r: I never wanted to fight him. Whirl: And your truly, of course, assuming I'm still around. Rodimus: Have you sparred with him? B l u r r: Will Megatron try to kill me if he comes for me? Rodimus: I doubt it. Not if you fight....wait Wrecker? B l u r r: ... Oh, yeah. B l u r r: Roadbuster made me a Wrecker- anywa. Bevel: I can help fight Megatron. B l u r r: Back to the important details. Are they hunting me to bring me in or to get rid of me? Rodimus: /looks at Blurr/ B l u r r: I need to know. Rodimus: /nah he's just staring how/ B l u r r: / looks at Bevel/ B l u r r: / looks at Rodimus / Well?? Rodimus: Wrecker...wait? /whispers/ Did you get married? B l u r r: .. .W-WHAT?! B l u r r: K-KYAHAHAHA WHAT? B l u r r: WHAT? NO. Jazz: 'Ey, maybe you can stop by sometime. My camp is safe. Whirl: *SNRK* Rodimus: SOOO You didn't get married...okay so...that means you were asked to join then? B l u r r: Yes... B l u r r: / wheeze / Rodimus: /need an inhaler?/ Bevel: You can marry into the wreckers? Rodimus: Huh... wow... Whirl: That's not how it worked where *I* came from, but who knows. B l u r r: ... /rubs face/ Rodimus. Drift: I'm pretty sure the Wreckers have a no married bots policy. B l u r r: My crew might be in trouble. Rodimus: What? Drift: Because of the death rate. B l u r r: I need to know what to expect. Bevel: Yeah. Whirl: Nah, I don't think they vet for that kind of thing. B l u r r: What did Megatron sa? B l u r r: say? Whirl: What I remember was, "you know what you're getting into." Whirl: They DO send you through psych eval, but that never stops anyone. Wing: *just quietly listening* I think... I will one day, if it's okay. *just to see* Rodimus: Ah well...off course he went into some long speech and then he said they'd send....whats thay combiner called? Jazz: Of course it's okay!! Jazz: I invite yah B l u r r: ... Combiner? B l u r r: / oh no... / Bevel: What kind of combiner? Whirl: Yeah. What's the name? Rodimus: Menasor! Yeah, those mechs. Said if you put up a fight he'd send them after you B l u r r: Menasor... Whirl: Well, Teach. Whirl: Just find out who makes up Menasor and kill em. Whirl: Or, at least, one of em. Rodimus: They're always together Bevel: Sniper. Rodimus: They don't come apart. Whirl: Always combined? B l u r r: / frowns and looks at the ground / Bevel: Really? B l u r r: Things don't work the same way in our universe. B l u r r: Just like Jazz and Ricochet.

Missed some.

Whirl: Yep. They wanna do what they wanna do, even if it clashes with their so-called "ideals." Whirl: Decepticons are the same wherever you go. Drift: Why should they be scrambling for scraps at all? Wouldn't it make a lot more sense for them to just mind their own business? Drift: Unless somebody's been riling them up. *pointed look. does not trust rodimus.* B l u r r: / looking at the datapad. what is this / Rodimus: /just gonna lean against Blurr so he can enter the passcode to the pad/ Whirl: Anyway... if you don't think you have the ordinance to deal with a combiner, let me know, Teach. Drift: Same. Jazz: You know, help with anythin', man. Rodimus: That /the screen displayed Blurr's current location/ Is you, isn't it? Bevel: How big is Menasor? Drift: ... Let me know even if you DO think you can deal with a combiner. B l u r r: / frowns/ Yes... that's me. Whirl: Because I've got an idea. Whirl: And if it goes the way I THINK it might... they'll be nothing left of him. Not even a trace. Rodimus: Well its your ship but anyway. Thats how they're tracking you. B l u r r: ... They've been watching me since I left with the ship, haven't they? Wing: *help with anything*... *little smile, even if he doesn't quite feel all of it* You're very kind. Rodimus: Pretty much~ Jazz: Well, I don't know if you remember,  but we were pretty cool. I'm down to be again. B l u r r: / scowling at the datapad/ Rodimus: Kinda how I found ya last time. They're the ones who gave it to me. B l u r r: Everywhere I've been. They've seen. / gripping datapad hard/ Rodimus: Starscream is determined after all/ B l u r r: / he's starting to crack the screen / Wing: I'm sorry. It'll come back to me, I'm sure. We will be again. B l u r r: Why are they telling YOU to tell ME? Jazz: Aw, no worries, man. We can work it out. Whirl: And, bevel--there's no way for me to say, but usually, they're very big. Rodimus: /is totally still leaning on Blurr/ ....I don't know. Whirl: Like... not necessarily METROTITAN big, but very, very big. B l u r r: ... /looks at Drift and Whirl. Then at Rodimus / Wing: *well now he knows why he and Jazz were friends at least, even if the connections aren't there* Thank you again. I mean that. Jazz: No worries. Thanks for hittin' up my comm again. Don't hesitate to call me. I'm always up. Whirl: *watching this scene unfold* Bevel: I met Devastator once. He was like a hundred feet tall. B l u r r: They know you didn't like Optimus, either. Wing: ((fusses!... which Jazz were you again? I'm following a few)) B l u r r: They're expecting you to ... to see me the same way they do. Jazz: [[ firstlieutenantjazz ] Whirl: yeah, that sounds about right. Whirl: Maybe even bigger. Wing: ((gjkajkfjdkafjkldfa okay!)) Rodimus: ......... You already know how I feel about that. B l u r r: / vents/ Yes, I know. Bevel: Need a really good plan to bring a bot that big down. Wing: Will do. B l u r r: But my friends... they'll do whatever they can to talk to them. Whirl: Yep. You do. B l u r r: I know you two won't believe them. /motions to whirl and drift/ B l u r r: But everyone else... Whirl: What? You mean if Megatron and Starscream call me up? Whirl: I will tell them exactly where to shove what they have to say. Drift: Oh, I'll listen to them. Drift: The same way I listened to Rodimus the last time he visited. Drift: *which is to say, listen only hard enough to shout down whatever slag they're spouting.* Rodimus: /that last visit left a bad taste his mouth. Everything just got worse afterwards/ Bevel: *prepared to just follow whatever Blurr's orders wind up being since this situation seems serious for what little of it she's managed to grasp* Wing: *trying to think on this so hard* Whirl: You got any other exciting news to impart? *to Rodimus* Rodimus: /Everything just feels weird and out of place and....its all Drifts fault for making him think about his feelings/ Drift: *success* Rodimus: /looks at Whirl/ Whirl: *looks back* Whirl: *blank, inscrutable stare* Rodimus: Well Thyristor was happy Blurr didn't throw up in him? Whirl: I have no idea who the hell that is. Drift: ... *looks at Blurr* Who's Thyristor? B l u r r: ...The shuttle. B l u r r: When I went to see Rodimus after last time. Whirl: Your shuttle's alive? Rodimus: The shuttle that carries shuttles Drift: Oh. Drift: Yeah, about that. Drift: *reaches around Blurr to awkwardly punch at Rodimus* That's for making him drink. Rodimus: Well Starfire is alive isn't he? Rodimus: omg Whirl: I guess. I don't keep up with the guy. Rodimus: Skyfire) Whirl: ((HEHE I FIGURED WHO U MEANT but i like to imagine DC starfire just. hangin)) Drift: ((the iconic duo: starfire and skyscream)) Bevel: [[omg Rodimus: (LMAO) Rodimus: /huffs/ Its not like I forced him to drink. Drift: Not buying it. B l u r r: We're getting off track. Whirl: *sticks his leg out the hammock, streetches, and then unfolds the rest of his bizarre gargantuan body out of there* Yeah. Whirl: They send any other threats with you? B l u r r: / sweats. He drank so much / Rodimus: /They were both wasted / Rodimus: Nope, just Blurr....I mean.../vents/ B l u r r: ... What? Whirl: *continues to stare* Rodimus: No threats or anything. Just this warning and Menasor. And.../sits up straight/ B l u r r: And? B l u r r: / looks at Drift/ He... encouraged drinking. Didn't exactly force it. Drift: Manipulation counts. Drift: Not all forms of force are physical. Rodimus: Of course of course, thank you teacher. Drift: I'm not talking to you. Rodimus: Yeah yeah. B l u r r: / vents and scrubs claw over face / Whirl: You're gonna get punched in the mouth someday. Whirl: ...unless Drift already punched you. Rodimus: Look Blurr /he stands to dig through his subspace to pull out a bottle/ Drift: Blurr keeps telling me not to attack him. B l u r r: ... / tense and ready to attack / B l u r r: What is it? Whirl: *aghast* Teach! Why? Drift: But I'm kinda hoping to catch him off the ship someday. Rodimus: I'd like to see you guys try....ANYWAY /everything in the bottle is squirming/ Wing: *hand to face, trying to think* Bevel: *giggles* Drift: *puts hand on sword handl—* Drift: *HE THINKS HE KNOWS WHAT THAT IS. DRAWS SWORD* What the HELL is that doing here?! Whirl: *stalks over and zoops his head right up to it, leaning over everyone like some horrid bird* What IS it? Rodimus: There's nothing wrong with it? Whirl: Are those worms? B l u r r: ... Are those scraplets? Bevel: *suddenly weapons drawn, stands up* Rodimus: Yes Rodimus: Ugh, why's everyone so tense? Drift: I knew it! You make all that talk and then you come here with a—a fragging—a jar full of sabotage! Whirl: *for the briefest moment, Whirl's antenna quirks forward and hois optic dilates, just a tad--but then he adopts a neutral expression again* Huh. B l u r r: No sudden movements. If you break the bottle, we're all screwed. Besides, our scraplets are different. Wing: *peers up again* What? Whirl: Are they trained? *swivels his helm towards Rodimus* Drift: *points sword at Rodimus* Get out of here, and take it with you. *is clearly not listening to Blurr.* Whirl: Pff. Teach, you say that like the sweet release of death is a BAD thing. Rodimus: Well you're screwed if you don't want them on you. /looks at Whirl/ No...they're ordinary scraplets. Whirl: So is this a bomb? You think this could get Menasor? *is probably one of the calmest people in the room right ow* Rodimus: /looks at Drift, non impressed/ Bevel: Ordinary scaplets eat living metal. Rodimus: No they don't. Drift: It's only living at the start. Whirl: Yeah. In our universe, a single scraplet--which is microscopic, can kill you. Bevel: They do in most of the universe I been too. B l u r r: Ours eat rust... Whirl: They're clever, too, the little buggers. B l u r r: among other things. Drift: ... Rodimus: What Blurr said Drift: *looks at Blurr* Yours do what now? B l u r r: Our scraplets eat rust. Bevel: Just rust? Whirl: So how is this in any way useful? *now zoops his helm over to Rodimus* Drift: ... uh. Wing: ... And what other things? B l u r r: To clear areas of rest, like the Rust Sea. Drift: What about the uh. Person under the rust? B l u r r: Oh, you know, dirty metals. Rodimus: They eat rust. They eat dead metal. B l u r r: They're like cleaner fish. B l u r r: They clean the tank Bevel: ... Whirl: So, they'd definitely hurt YOU, Teach. Bevel: Negative polarity universe. Drift: ... *sheepishly lowers sword.* B l u r r: They won't hurt me. I'm still half living. Rodimus: They die quickly at the same time. Whirl: But you're also half rust. Drift: *sheepishly puts away.* B l u r r: / vents/ What are you showing me these for? B l u r r: / patting Drift's back / Rodimus: The moment they are released they rust. Bevel: *will sit down a little awkwardly now* Drift: *mumble mumble* in MY universe they eat people. Whirl: Really? Damn. But that doesn't answer my question. B l u r r: / looks at Wing/ They eat rust the most, but like Rodimus said, dead metal and singed marks, scorches, the usual. Rodimus: /forgets that Cliffjumper logic is strong here/ Whirl: These things COULD hurt Teach. He never takes care of his damn self so he's half rust. How are they supposed to be useful at all to him? Drift: ... Maybe they'd clean the rust OFF him. Drift: I mean—I don't wanna try it, but. Whirl: If they did, half of his EVERYTHING would probably collapse. Rodimus: Scraplets aren't easy to get. Scraplets are pretty rare to see....I'm just....give Blurr this bottle for...whatever /mumbles/ Wing: *looking at Blurr again and... yeah, no kidding* Whirl: *puts his helm closer* To what? B l u r r: ... You're giving it to me? B l u r r: Why? Whirl: Seems like a thinly veiled threat to me. Rodimus: /moves away from whirls face/ Whirl: *streetches his neck* Whirl: *you cannot escape the bird head* Rodimus: /stahp/ Whirl: *not until you spill* Rodimus: /veeents/ I don't know...to congratulate you...I guess...its all I have or....whatever /he shoves teh bottle towards Blurr/ B l u r r: / takes the bottle and blinks / B l u r r: ... Thanks, Rodimus? Rodimus: /looks put out, but just nods/ B l u r r: / shifts and looks at the scraplets in the bottle / B l u r r: / shakes them up / Whirl: *gives Rodimus his personal space back* Rodimus: Ya know...we managed to figure out why the moisture kills them so fast... /thanks/ Whirl: Are... are scraplets some kind of traditional greeting? B l u r r: You did, huh? Whirl: Hey, don't SHAKE em, Teach. Jeez/ B l u r r: / settles and tucks the jar in his subspace/ Bevel: Ha, like bringing fancy energon to a party. Rodimus: No...like I said their just really really really really rare... Whirl: *was about to reach over and put his claw up to the bottle--oop, it's gone now* Whirl: *it's not like they would've done The Thing anyway& B l u r r: / vents and looks at the datapad again / Rodimus: /The datapad also contained info on Cybertrons current condition/ B l u r r: .. /scrolling./ Bevel: *relaxes a bit more now that the scraplets are out of site, even if they are other universe nice ones* B l u r r: So, you fix Cybertron and they sick their mechs on me. B l u r r: / scowls and just gets up. Tosses datapad aside/ Whirl: *well, there is othing left t be agitated about, or curious about, so it's time to skedaddle before he shows signs of weakness* Whirl: Ring me later, Teach. B l u r r: Oh, yeah, I'll comm you. Whirl: If you don't get this Menasor problem straightened out. Rodimus: /likes Whirl already but hes not saying that out loud. Nope./  Anyway... Whirl: *bobs his head, and turns to go* Rodimus: /he shrugs/ Thats Megatron for ya. Whirl: ((PFFT)) Rodimus: (xD) B l u r r: ... I'm gonna keep doing what I'm doing. B l u r r: / glances at Drift/ I'm gonna fight them. Both of them. All of them. Rodimus: /deflates a little at that/ B l u r r: If my crew wants to run, they can run. B l u r r: But my Prime did not teach me to run. I have a right to survive. Rodimus: /long pause of silence/ B l u r r: And I'll protect my crew. All of them. Drift: You've got my swords and my guns. Whirl: ((and my axe)) B l u r r: / smirks and thuds claw on chassis. U the best fam / Whirl: ((my figurative axe)) B l u r r: [[ OMG ]] Whirl: ((more like, "my plasma thrower" really(( Bevel: [[that's bevel's line Whirl: ((AND BEVEL'S AXE)) Drift: (("and my deedily-boppers")) Whirl: ((yes. and my deedly-boppers)) Whirl: ((nobody explain deedly-boppers, if u are unaware of what they are, let your imagination run wild)) B l u r r: [[ that sounds menacing ]] Wing: ... What do they gain from this? B l u r r: Who knows. They don't gain anything. Satisfaction? Bevel: And my axe. *not gonna miss this opportunity* Bevel: [[couldn't resist B l u r r: /snort / Rodimus: /is staring really hard at Blurr/ B l u r r: At least I've got you guys. Drift: Always. B l u r r: / looks at Rodimus / Bevel: *pleased* Wing: *watching Rodimus* Rodimus: /does the THING. He grabs Blurr and pulls him into a hug. And its a tight one./ You're an idiot, don't....don't die...alright? B l u r r: / oh my GOD / B l u r r: / awkward noise. What do i do with my arms / Drift: *HANDS. ON. SWORD. HILTS.* Rodimus: /pulls away and hold Blurr at arms length before handing him a small box./ Here I don't want this. Drift: *if rodimus makes the SLIGHTEST wrong move drift is cutting both arms off* B l u r r: / reaches up to lightly pat arms / B l u r r: What is this? Rodimus: Its Paradon. B l u r r: P-Paradon? Rodimus: /is serious/ Paradon B l u r r: But, Paradon is... it's huge. Drift: ... *raises hand* Rodimus: /shrugged/ Its huge and empty Drift: What's Paradon? B l u r r: ... This is the key..! Bevel: Yeah? B l u r r: / looks at Drift / Paradon is a prison... planet. B l u r r: It's a planet. B l u r r: But it doesn't activate or function without its key... Drift: ... So it's a trap. Cool. B l u r r: No no, its empty. Drift: No no, this, *circles his finger around the key* is a trap, for you, from Rodimus. Wing: Is this where things really have to go for this world? Bevel: Maybe he can trap someone else in it. Rodimus: Like I said /he looked at Drift, rather glared at him/ I don't want it! I don't need it! Drift: It's an empty shell designed to hold prisoners and the Decepticons are hunting you, do you think there's a chance in hell they won't be waiting for you to wander in and then slam the door shut? Drift: Yeah and THAT'S what I call an COVER STORY. I'm not buying it. It's a trap. Drift: ((... an cover story)) Rodimus: (pfft) Rodimus: Paradron* even Wing: ((of all the nights I picked to bring Wing back)) Drift: You shouldn't go there, Blurr. Rodimus: /releases a vent/ I don't want anything to do with that planet any more. Drift: Or at LEAST you should send someone else in first to make sure it isn't a trap set for you. Rodimus: /snorted at that/ Drift: Yeah you think that's funny? You think it's dumb to be suspicious of the guy who made multiple attempts on Blurr's life and had a bounty out for him? Frag off. Rodimus: If that's what you got out of that, then sure. Why not? B l u r r: ... /vents/ B l u r r: I'll keep the key. And I'll check it out when I have a spare minute. Rodimus: (Also I miss Roddys accent...just to lazy to type it out) Drift: Blurrrrrrrrr. Send. Someone. Else. B l u r r: We can talk it later. Drift: You can "check it out" AFTER you know it's not a trap. B l u r r: *about it later Drift: ... Yeah, fine. Wing: *still watching Rodimus* If you're not lying to him now, how do I speak with Megatron? Rodimus: /looked at Wing/ Why would you want to speak with Megatron? Drift: *looks at Wing as well. and he wishes there wasn't, but there's some suspicion in his optics.* Wing: *he's ignoring that* It doesn't matter. I'm not out to hurt him, if that's your concern. I'm not looking for a private meeting. Drift: Which "him"? Wing: Any him. Drift: Including Blurr? B l u r r: Mechs... the issues in my universe are carried over from our war. B l u r r: They don't like me. They never did. Rodimus: That transwarp of Earth destroyed several universes ya know /he sat down/ B l u r r: Okay, well, that wasn't entirely my fault. Bevel: *is gonna go now* Wing: *looks at Blurr. looks at Drift* I remember him as a friend. But this doesn't seem right. None of it. If Rodimus isn't lying, if he's not planning a trap, I'll speak with Megatron myself to confirm. Rodimus: (cya Bevel) Bevel: [later y'all Wing: ((niiight)) B l u r r: [[ night night ]] B l u r r: ... Forget it. B l u r r: I'll talk to Megatron myself. Rodimus: I really don't think talking to him is going to do anything... I think Rodimus: I think its more....ya know...doesn't want another Optimus to rise/ B l u r r: ...And who the frag does he think that is gonna be? B l u r r: I'm not grooming anybody. Drift: Blurr's not conquering, he's just pillaging. Wing: Even if that's true, even if I can't stop these two from tearing each other apart, what would it hurt, then, to let me speak with Megatron? Or Starscream? Wing: To this world, I'm no one. What's the harm? Drift: ... It might hurt Blurr, if they persuade you to turn against him. Drift: They're probably going to try to tell you that he's sick and damaged. That he needs to be fixed. And they might say that they, in all their compassion, can and will fix him if he's brought to them. Rodimus: /snickers/ I know what you're doin' but he's got his optics on you. Well, I can give ya the comm. channel for Starscream. Drift: And they're going to be very persuasive, because they're going to actually believe it. Wing: *that hurt. not that he'll show it* I won't fight. If anything, I'll try to ask you both not to fight. B l u r r: I don't want to fight them. Drift: Just promise me you won't let them persuade you that he needs to be fixed. Drift: Please. Wing: I'm glad you don't want to fight them. But you don't trust Rodimus and this may all be for nothing. I only want to talk to them. B l u r r: / looks at Rodimus/ Well, let him watch me. B l u r r: / looks at Wing/ I'm not saying don't talk to them. By all means, you're free to do whatever you like. But, I think I want to try talking to them, too. Just... try. It's not my strongest trait. K-Kyeh Rodimus: /looks at Blurr/ You still have to take that tracking device off you're ship, where ever its at. B l u r r: I'll find it. Wing: *looks at Blurr. he's trying so hard to remember it all, now more than ever* Okay. *and to Rodimus* The frequency is Starscream's? B l u r r: I'll have my crew start working on it... /mumbling and tapping datapad/ Rodimus: /gives him instructions on how to contact Star/ Good luck. Starscreams a big....softy so. You two seem like you'll get along. Wing: *taps that in. oh look at that. it was there all along* Fantastic. B l u r r: / looks at Drift/ I'm sorry. Drift: ... For what? B l u r r: It seems like my messes always end up dragging you in. Everyone in. /vents and just looks at datapad/ B l u r r: I can face them by myself if I have to. Drift: I volunteer for your messes. Drift: I like wading around in your messes. B l u r r: / snort/ You're so weird... /reaches out to pat his shoulder / Rodimus: /is getting tired he suddnely just starts missing his alternate for some weird reason/ ..... Drift: *crooked smile* I don't get a lot of excuses to— *Wing's still in the room* ... fight. B l u r r: / looks at Rodimus and vents slowly / Thank you. Rodimus. For warning me. B l u r r: What are you gonna tell Megatron? Rodimus: /nods and then shakes his head no/ Rodimus: You haven't exactly done anything to Cybertron at all so I don't care what you do B l u r r: .. Can you do one thing for me? B l u r r: / glances at Drift and then Rodimus/ Just one thing. Rodimus: /looks at Blurr/ ....Like what? Drift: Yeah? B l u r r: / looks at Drift and then Rodimus/ ... / points to Rodimus/ In Iacon... there's a building. B l u r r: It was never finished, but it was planned to be one of the tallest ones in the city. B l u r r: The site was closed off during the war and the architect designing it died before he could finish. B l u r r: ... Make someone finish it. Rodimus: /is listenting/ Drift: *... o-oh* Rodimus: /blinks/ Rodimus: Um...okay. I can do that. Shouldn't be hard really. Drift: *drift is totally cool and stoic and badass and absolutely not suddenly on the verge of tears* B l u r r: ... Please. / holds out datapad with the plans / B l u r r: Give this to whoever is constructing it. Tell them it has to be an icon of the city. Rodimus: With all the reconstruction going on now. /He takes the datapad looks at it and then Blurr/ .... Rodimus: /he nods/ Wing: *he used to understand this. now he's just this side of confused* Rodimus: /me subspaces the datapad/ Iacon is being rebuilt still, but I can give this to the bot in charge. B l u r r: ... Good. B l u r r: / glances to his vacant side and smirks. Mumbles and leans over slightly. Looks back at Rodimus/ Now... I have to find that tracker before they catch up Rodimus: /nods/ Yeah and I better go before Thyristor blows another fuse... Rodimus: (im hugry and sleepy...what a combination) Drift: ((the worst combination)) B l u r r: ... /vents/ B l u r r: / this is so stressful / B l u r r: / looks at Drift. / Are you okay? Drift: mfine. *he's not crying.* Wing: *should he be concerned?* B l u r r: ... What's wrong? B l u r r: Are you worried or something? Drift: no. *it was just. that's such a beautiful gesture. finishing dodge's building.* Drift: *he's tOUCHED* B l u r r: / uhm. reaches out to pat his shoulder / Dodge says to get yourself together. B l u r r: You can't /both/ cry. Drift: M'FINE. B l u r r: / snorts a little and leans over against him / Okay okay. Wing: *he's getting that feeling... like he should probably go now. party's over* I... Thank you for the movie. B l u r r: ... Sure thing. / lifts claw/ Come back again. Drift: Y-yeah. Thanks. Drift: I better—head back to the ship. B l u r r: / leans over and hugs Drift/ Drift: *hugs back tightly.* Wing: *out he goes* B l u r r: / waves to Wing / B l u r r: / hugs Drift tight / B l u r r: Dodge offers his hug, too. Drift: *mumbles* tell him im like, hugging him with my mind. my aura's hugging him. B l u r r: Kyeheh... of course. He knows. B l u r r: Do you think it's insulting that I asked? Drift: No. I think it's the nicest thing you could have done for Dodge. B l u r r: ... /smirks a little/  Good. I owed him, you see B l u r r: / pats Drift's shoulder/ I'll probably be busy for a while. So... I suppose you have your matters to attend to. I need to find this tracker before Megatron and Starscream find me. Drift: I can come help look for it once I'm done on the ship. B l u r r: Don't worry. If you're busy, I got it B l u r r: ... It's unsettling. But I have Paradron, too. Drift: I'm telling you, Blurr. Don't go there until you've had someone else check it out. Drift: I don't trust Rodimus's sudden about-face. He might be up to something and Paradron might be part of it. B l u r r: Perhaps... Drift: Don't bet your life on a perhaps. Send someone else to check first. B l u r r: I'll send NOS. Drift: Good idea. B l u r r: But, Drift, this might get bigger than I want it to. Drift: Just make sure you're in contact with him the whole time. If he runs into Decepticons or something, he might switch sides and spy on you. B l u r r: Maybe. We'll see. Drift: ... Decepticons are after you. I think it's already bigger than any of us want it to get. B l u r r: I mean bigger than that. B l u r r: If Megatron comes. Starscream. Menasor. It's my war. Remnants from MY universe. B l u r r: You guys don't have to be in it. Drift: I'm willing to make it my war, too. B l u r r: I know you are... B l u r r: But Megatron /is/ stronger than me. Drift: Megatron's stronger than everyone. I'm still willing to fight. B l u r r: If we lose, I could lose all of you. Drift: If you lose, you lose all of us anyway. B l u r r: ... That's not the point. If I lose me, it's just me. Drift: If you lose you, you can't know what happens to the rest of us anyway. Drift: And WE lose YOU. And we don't want that. B l u r r: It's a hard decision to make. But, regardless, someone is gonna come for me. B l u r r: I have no idea WHY. I have done nothing to them. B l u r r: Someone is salty. Drift: And I'm going to be standing between them and you. Period. B l u r r: You have to stand next to me. Because I won't move. B l u r r: If we're going to fight, we do it together as one crew. B l u r r: I don't need shields. Drift: ... Shhhhields might help. B l u r r: But not you. Not the crew. /reaches out and pats his helm/ We'll talk about this later. B l u r r: You have work to do and so do I. Drift: Yeah, okay. Later. B l u r r: / will do something stupid between now and then probably / B l u r r: / picks up the master key for Paradron / B l u r r: Good luck with your ship work. B l u r r: I'll be up all night if you want to talk. Drift: I've gotta sleep sometime tonight, it's been too long since I recharged. Drift: But I'll be back over here as soon as I can. Drift: ... Good luck with your... impending Decepticon invasion. B l u r r: Oh, it'll be fine. B l u r r: I haven't died this month, so I'm overdue. K-KYAAHAHA! / shrugs and starts walking out of the room/ B l u r r: Night! Sleep well! Drift: You know, you can lower your death quota! Like, once every two months would be peachy. Drift: Night, Blurr.

[vivaciouswordsmith]

look an update

Finally got around to finishing Chapter 11 of Four-Legged Fiend! Man, it has been a weird couple of months since graduation, plus my graduation gift was a PS4, and I’ve been working on a super ultra mega secret project for RTX, so...yeah, didn’t work on my fic all that much.

As always, you can read it here or beneath the cut. Enjoy!

Somehow, Los Santos managed to lose much of its ghetto look at sunset. 

It could have been the way the shadows concealed the cracks in the concrete and the half legible graffiti. Maybe it was the lack of gunshots and running feet echoing through the streets. Perhaps it was the way the natural slimy underbelly of the city lay down in its mire and let the people breathe for a few moments. Whatever it was, the change was start, and for many residents, most welcome.

Jeremy spent a good deal of the walk trying to slow Ryan down, but it was no use. The wolfdog was determined to go his own way, and Jeremy’s shoulder was throbbing by the time he stopped resisting. The apartment building faded into the darkening horizon, and Jeremy was led into unfamiliar streets.

Nearly an hour of walking later, Ryan finally stopped in his tracks. Jeremy rubbed his upper arm and looked around. He blinked several times. No, his eyes were definitely not lying. They were in a park. There were trees rustling in the wind and grass crunched beneath his feet. Ryan snuffled at the roots of a sapling before turning and lifting his leg. Jeremy politely deflected his gaze to a nearby sign with “Mirror Park” written on it in bold green letters.

“Did you really drag me all the way here to piss on a tree?” he asked. Ryan finished his business and walked back over to Jeremy. His eyes briefly flicked over Jeremy’s torso and arms before locking onto his face. He swallowed, disconcerted by the intensity in those two blue eyes. “Sometimes I swear to God you’re going to open your mouth and blow my fucking mind.”

The wolfdog yawned.

“Very funny.”

Ryan then tugged on the leash, and Jeremy followed him through the park. No-one else was there at this ungodly hour, but even so, Jeremy eyed the growing shadows dubiously. The grass crunched beneath his feet, Ryan panted just a little bit, and a light breeze rustled the leaves on the oak trees. He stumbled when they happened upon a small hill, but regained his balance and ascended without further problems. Once they reached the top, Ryan spun around in a few circles and laid down in the grass. He gave Jeremy a pointed look, and then looked down at a patch of grass near his hindquarters. Jeremy snorted, but complied and sat down.

It might not be as quiet as other cities, but Los Santos had one problem that was universal. When Jeremy looked up at the sky, it was nearly impossible to see the stars. The brightest did their best to pierce through the city’s skyline, but the others were drowned out completely. Still, they did their best, and Jeremy could appreciate that. Ryan put his paws into Jeremy’s lap, and Jeremy lifted a hand and scratched the back of the wolf’s head.

He didn’t know how long they sat there and watched the stars. It had to have been a while, because when a car drove by, he barely noticed it, but he did notice when someone stomped up to him and practically screamed, “Finally! There you are!” He nearly jumped out of his skin, while Ryan barked and leaped to his feet.

Geoff, at the very least, managed an embarrassed smile and a shrug. “Sorry. Thought you guys saw me comin’ towards you.”

“No,” Jeremy panted, “I didn’t. Jesus.”

Geoff laughed a bit and paced in place. A few moments passed. Ryan growled and tugged at the hem of Geoff’s jacket. His left forepaw edged worryingly towards Jeremy’s junk. Geoff coughed. Ryan yanked down on Geoff’s jacket, and the crime boss ended up flat on his ass with a curse.

“Uh…sorry, I probably shoulda…um. Sorry,” said Jeremy.

“It’s not a problem. He would’ve found a way to do it anyway.” Geoff settled in the grass and frowned at the slobber soaking his jacket. “Asshole.”

They were silent again for a good few minutes.

“So, uh, I, uh, we, I mean, we’re not exactly a smooth crew, you know?”

Jeremy blinked. “What?”

Geoff huffed. “We’re fucking criminals, all right? We’re abrasive and horrible and shit. None of us mean anything by it.”

“Oh, the short stuff? I kinda figured.” Jeremy shrugged. “I’ve heard it all before, so I’m used to it by now.”

Geoff blinked. “Huh?”

“Something up?”

“I, uh, I thought you, um, I thought you stormed out because you were mad.”

“No, I stormed out because I thought Ryan would tear my fucking arm off if I didn’t.”

“God, I know what you mean. When he wants something, you fucking give it to him.” Geoff patted Ryan’s flank, and laughed when the pup gave him a withering look. “You’re a spoiled bitch and you know it.”

They both laughed, and much of the tension between them faded into the darkness. Ryan huffed and rolled off their laps. In the distance, a siren wailed. Ryan’s ears twitched. Then he sat back on his haunches, lifted his muzzle to the sky, and howled. Jeremy winced, and then, to his amazement, realized he was trying to mirror the wail of the siren.

“Goddammit, you see, this is why I wanted a penthouse as far off the fucking ground as possible. Do you know how many fucking heists we had to do half-asleep because of this dickhead?” Geoff poked the wolf’s furry side. “I’ll tell you. Too many. Too fucking many.”

“Is…is it a wolf thing, or?”

“We looked it up, and apparently it is. He’s lucky he’s cute, otherwise I’d have tossed him out on his hairy ass a long time ago.” The siren finally faded into silence, and Ryan finished howling. His ears lifted off his neck, he stretched out on the ground, and promptly rolled on his back. He gave Jeremy a pointed look from in between his lanky salt-and-pepper limbs. “Now he’s begging for belly rubs like it’s no big deal. Fucker.” There was no heat in the insult. If anything, Geoff sounded fondly resigned. Jeremy wove his fingers into the coarse belly fur and scratched the pup’s underbelly. One sock-clad foot kicked at the air for his troubles.

“So, just so we’re clear, no hard feelings about the baby stuff, right?”

Jeremy shrugged. “I’ve heard worse.”

Geoff visibly relaxed. “Thank God.” He looked down at Ryan and rubbed his skinny chest with both hands. “How about you, bud? Any hard feelings from you?”

Ryan’s pink tongue lolled out of his mouth, and his leg kicked harder than before. Both criminals grinned down at him. He grinned just as widely back.

“Good. Now that we’re clear on that, let’s go home and get some rest. We’ve got work to do tomorrow.”

As it turned out, Geoff had not been kidding when he said there was work to do tomorrow. At the asscrack of dawn he roused everyone to prepare for what he termed “Operation: Don’t Fuck with the Fakes”. Jack went off to secure a cargobob for them, while Michael prepared for his assault on Zancudo. Despite their best efforts, they couldn’t convince him to take the safer route of calling Merryweather and securing the tank that way, so Geoff eventually broke down and gave Michael his blessing. He had been practically rubbing his hands together in glee ever since.

“And what am I doing?” Jeremy asked.

“You and I are going shopping,” said Geoff.

Jeremy blinked. “But…I thought you were gonna stay here with Gavin and pull the plans for the buildings.”

“Yeah, well, Gavvers and I talked about it, and we’re in agreement.” Geoff’s index finger jabbed at Jeremy’s worn t-shirt. “If you’re going to be a part of this crew, you need new clothes. Your old ones got ruined, and this…” He poked the t-shirt again. “This doesn’t fit the whole ‘eccentric villain’ thing we’ve got going on here.”

“And everything else?”

“After this. They gotta know who they’ve fucked with.”

“Will Ryan be coming with us?”

Upon hearing his name, Ryan looked up and trotted over to the pair. He sat at Jeremy’s feet and craned his neck to stare at Geoff. His stumpy ear twitched.

“He’ll probably have to sit outside, but yes, he’s coming with us. Gav can’t work when he’s around.”

“Does he bother him or something?”

Geoff snorted. “If only! Fucker can never stay focused on his goddamn work when Ryan’s around. I’ll find them wrestling, or he’ll be feeding him all my fucking mignons, and he’ll just squawk and go ‘Wot?’ whenever I ask him what the fuck he’s been doing!” He threw his hands up and scowled at the ceiling. “No matter how many times I shove pens up the little fucker’s ass, he doesn’t get the message.”

Jeremy chose to ignore that last comment, and said, “I guess it’s okay if it helps Gavin focus on his work.”

“He’d better,” said Geoff. “Otherwise we’ll be fucked.”

That was the end of that, as Geoff hustled him towards the door and urged him to get Ryan ready to leave. He got the wolfdog into his harness and leashed by the time Geoff had returned. A set of keys whirled on Geoff’s left index finger, and he seemed to be in a better mood now. Ryan’s eyes zeroed in on the keys. A big puppy grin stretched over his skull-marked muzzle.

“Yeah, yeah, we’re going for a ride, buddy.” Geoff ruffled the pup’s ears, his grin only slipping a little when Ryan’s tongue lapped over his tattooed hand. “Goddammit. You better not slobber on my new suit, asshole.”

“I mean, what’s a little dog spit to us? It can’t be worse than bleeding all over it.”

Geoff fiddled with his bowtie and glowered down at Ryan. Ryan stared right back. His tail thumped all too innocently behind him. “I may not look it, but I do have some standards, Jeremy.”

He led them out of the penthouse and into the elevator. He thumbed the key for the underground garage and leaned back against the railing. Ryan snuffled around the edges of the elevator before settling at Geoff and Jeremy’s feet. He stretched out as far as he could, back paws hitting the opposite end of the elevator, and put his head down. Tinny muzak played over the hidden speakers, backed by the occasional ding of the elevator passing the other floors of the apartment building. Jeremy shifted against the rapidly warming rail and buffed his nails on his t-shirt. Geoff pulled out his phone and tapped at the screen.

It was a great relief when the elevator finally stopped moving and the doors rolled open. Ryan jumped to his feet and tugged Jeremy out into the dim garage. He’d long since learned not to fight Ryan, not when he really got going, and instead resigned himself to follow the wolf wherever he went.

“Jesus, you must really like car rides, Ryan,” he said.

“Have you ever lived with any dog, ever? They all love fucking car rides, man.” Geoff moved in front of them, pulled out a key fob, and pressed a button. There was a pause, and a trio of beeps echoed through the garage. “Okay. This way.”

Jeremy didn’t know what kind of car he expected the Fakes’ boss to have, but it definitely wasn’t even close to the eyeblindingly bright pink Felon waiting for them near the end of the row.

“Nice, right?” Geoff patted the car’s hood and grinned. “Brand fucking new, too.”

Jeremy continued to stare. Ryan moved to the passenger’s side and scratched at the door. Geoff scowled and let out a “Hey!” and the wolfdog slowly dropped back down to the ground.

“Jesus fucking Christ, I’ve only seen these online. How much did it cost?”

Geoff shrugged and popped the door open. “Not much. Only around $90,000 or so.”

“Ninety thousand dollars?”

“No, ninety thousand cents. Of course ninety thousand dollars! These babies are imported.”

Jeremy pulled the door open and gently eased himself into the leather seat. While he fumbled with the seat belt, Geoff reached over and opened the back door. Ryan jumped into the backseat and snuffled at the edges of the seats. His tail beat against the window and cupholders, and Jeremy swore to sweet Jesus he was making the entire car shake.

“That…sounds like a lot of money,” he finally said.

Geoff was quiet for a few seconds. “I forget you little guys aren’t spoiled by the high life like we are,” he said, and started the car. The engine purred into life, and Geoff started off on their errands.

Jeremy ignored the ‘little guys’ comment, and decided to press on the cars thing. “Yeah? How so?”

“Ninety thousand isn’t the most we’ve spent on our vehicles. Have you ever seen Michael’s fucking Adder?”

“I think the astronauts on the ISS can see it,” said Jeremy.

“Yeah, no shit. Anyway, that car cost him a sweet million, and that was before he turned it into a fucking disco ball.” He grinned at the dumbfounded look on Jeremy’s face. “Hey, if you impress us, Li’l J…you can blow millions of dollars on cars you’ll wreck at least once a week, too.”

They exited the garage and peeled off into downtown Los Santos. A click sounded from behind them, followed by a mechanical whirr. Something whacked Jeremy’s shoulder repeatedly, so he finally turned around to look into the backseat.

Ryan had managed to roll the window down and stuck his head out into the open air. His ears flapped and twitched in the wind, and he paid no heed to the way Geoff swerved around cars, or to the cacophony of horns sounding off in their wake. His eyes squinted into slits, and his lips pulled back into a massive grin.

“I just wish he could roll the windows up,” Geoff lamented. “He can roll them down all fucking day, but he hasn’t figured out up yet.”

“You’re not worried about him losing his head or anything?”

“He’d fucking deserve it if he did.” Geoff took a corner far too sharply, which jerked Jeremy’s seat belt taught, and caused Ryan to shift a few inches backwards. Jeremy’s heart pounded fearfully, but aside from the soft grunt of surprise, Ryan didn’t react. “However, I’d lose my fucking head if anything happened to him. Jack and the others love the fucker way too much for me to let anything happen to him.”

“Fuck, I don’t want anything to happen to him, and I barely know him!” Jeremy swatted Ryan’s hindquarters and failed to dodge his wagging tail.

“He can take care of himself, you know. He’s got his own track record down at the LSPD.”

“Seriously?”

“Yep.” Geoff took one hand off the steering wheel and painted a broad arc in the air between himself and Jeremy. “Says something like ‘Warning: Dangerous Animal. Reports that Fake AH Crew has been seen with large black dog. Identifying as having white markings on the face, purportedly like a skull. Considered incredibly dangerous.’ I had Gavin pull it up a few weeks back. We’re all very fucking proud.” A little bit of the mirth slipped out of Geoff’s face at the last word. “Though, personally, I’m not too fond of the ending.”

“C’mon, it can’t be that bad.”

“Yeah, ‘Shoot to kill on sight’ is fucking amazing.”

Jeremy flinched. “Okay, yeah, that’s pretty bad.”

There was a slight scrabbling from behind them, and Ryan’s large furry head pushed its way in between the two of them. His nose flicked over the touch screen for a few seconds, which Geoff very much did not appreciate, and then his tongue lapped over Jeremy’s cheek.

“Agh, Ryan! No!”

“Fucking fuck, he’s started the fucking navigator!” Geoff tried to push the wolfdog out of the way and frantically jammed his fingers into the screen.

‘Head east, then make a right,’ said the robo-voice before Geoff could do anything.

“Fucking – shut up!”

Jeremy covered his mouth with both hands, desperately trying to muffle his laughter. His reflection steadily turned redder and redder. Ryan grinned up at him and winked. His snorts grew louder and more hysterical.

God, he wasn’t even in the main six yet, and he already didn’t want to leave.

“Fucking Christ, you look like Prince vomited on a traffic cone,” said Geoff.

Jeremy ignored him for the time being in favor of looking himself in the mirror. His new Stetson rested proudly on his head, and stood out in stark contrast to his crisp purple jacket. That, in turn, clashed beautifully with his neon orange slacks. Was it horrific to look at? Of course it was. Was it memorable? Of course it was!

“C’mon, Geoff, that’s the point! What was it you said? You’ve got a…fucking…eccentric villain thing going on, right? If this isn’t eccentric, I’ll eat this fucking hat.” He pushed his Stetson up with his thumb and beamed.

“We’re a bunch of weirdos, yeah, but…” Geoff jabbed Jeremy’s chest with his index finger. “That outfit can be seen from fucking space. Even we’re not dumb enough to wear stuff like that.”

“Guess that just makes me really fucking dumb.”

Geoff stared at him for a few moments before sighing. “You really will fit in with this crew, Dooley. None of those fuckers listen to me, either.”

Jeremy grinned and tugged on his lapels. “Speaking of, aren’t they supposed to be back now?”

“Yeah. Hopefully they got everything for tomorrow.”

He blinked. “Tomorrow?”

Geoff walked past Jeremy and patted him on the shoulder. “Didn’t I tell you? We’re heisting tomorrow.”

Jeremy’s stomach dropped down to his feet. His throat tightened until he thought he was going to puke. “Tomorrow? But…didn’t we just get everything together?”

Geoff shrugged without turning around. “No use sitting on it for too long. It’ll just let the rumor mill circulate too much, especially since Michael decided to break into Zancudo to get the tank. The last thing we want is for those fuckheads to bail on us, or worse, have a way to defend themselves. I want this to be revenge, not a goddamn suicide mission.”

For a few moments, Jeremy couldn’t speak. He knew they would be enacting their revenge soon, but he thought he still had some time to prepare. He thought he’d have a week, or at least a few days to collect himself before standing beside his idols and tearing their enemies a new asshole. This revelation was especially jarring. He felt like a kid who’d been surprised by a sudden midterm out of nowhere.

“I…I guess that makes sense,” he finally said.

Geoff turned and looked at him. His smile had slipped somewhat, and he moved to clap Jeremy on the shoulder again. “Hey, don’t worry about it. You’ll be fine.”

Jeremy mentally shook himself and smiled again. “Yeah, I know, it’s just, uh, you know, jitters or some shit.”

“Hey, look at it this way. By tomorrow, you’ll be blowing up shit all over Los Santos and striking fear into the hearts of the bastards who hurt you.”

“Thanks, Geoff. That’s really helpful.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He waved his hand and opened the door to Jeremy’s temporary room. “Dinner’ll be in an hour. Then we’ll go over the plan again, and break for the day. Sound good?”

“Sounds great, Geoff.”

With that, the Fakes’ boss left the room. Jeremy was fully prepared to lay on the bed and contemplate the next day for an hour, but after only five minutes, something scratched at the door. Jeremy laughed, got up and opened the door. Ryan sat in the threshold. His paw lowered back to the ground, and he stared up at Jeremy with wide blue eyes.

“Dinner’s not for an hour, buddy. Besides, I don’t exactly think I have full access to the penthouse yet.” Ryan didn’t relent. He moved forward and pawed at the hem of Jeremy’s jacket. “Okay, I don’t speak wolf. The fuck do you want?” He leaned down and rubbed behind Ryan’s ears. The pup whined and pawed him again.

Something in Jeremy’s brain clicked. “Is this about the heist? Are you worried about us?” Ryan’s tail wagged, and he put his paws on Jeremy’s thighs, forcing his face right up against Jeremy’s. “We’ll be fine. You’ll get the penthouse to yourself, too. Well, almost to yourself.” Ryan whined again. His eyes bored into Jeremy’s. “Oh. That’s it, isn’t it? You don’t want to be left behind.” Ryan let out a bark.

Geoff and Jack had reached this particular decision when he and Jeremy got back from their errands. Jack didn’t want him in the chopper in case it went down, and Geoff didn’t want him going deaf from listening to the tank firing. And neither of them wanted Ryan to suffer avoidable injuries. Thus, while the main crew went heisting, Ryan would be staying at home with some members of the B-Team. Now that he thought about it, Jeremy realized Ryan had been antsy ever since then.

“Is he bothering you, too?” Jeremy flinched and looked up. Michael stood in the hallway. His arms were folded over his chest, and he jerked his head down at Ryan. “He’s been going door to door for fucking hours now.”

“I think he’s upset about being left behind tomorrow,” said Jeremy.

“Of course it is. Asshole hates being left at home.” Michael reached down and patted Ryan’s rump. “He’s as much a part of the crew as anybody else.”

“You think he’ll be okay staying here?”

“He’ll be fine. It’s Matt and Trevor I’m worried about.” Before Jeremy could ask, Michael said, “He’s always been a dick to his babysitters.”

“That’s not surprising.”

“No kidding.”

Jeremy bit his lip and finally gathered enough moxy to speak. “So, uh, how do you feel about tomorrow?”

“What do you mean?”

“Uh…well…okay, here’s how it is, right? Tomorrow’s my first fucking heist with the crew, and if I don’t make a good impression…” He sighed. “I’ve been watching you guys for years now, and I never thought I’d get as far as…this.” He gestured around the room. “I guess…I’m scared of losing it.”

Michael considered him for a few moments. “That’s fucking dumb.”

Jeremy blinked. “Excuse me?”

“You’re going to be fine, Li’l J! You managed to fly a fucking plane while shot full of holes, and crashed it right into our fucking penthouse! If you can do that, there’s nothing you can’t do.”

A warm feeling ignited in Jeremy’s chest. “You, uh, you really think so?”

“Well, nothing might be the wrong word for it, but…well…” Michael shrugged. “Just don’t worry about it.”

“Sure. I’ll get right on that.”

Michael laughed and headed back down the hallway. As soon as he was gone, Jeremy went and flopped down on his bed. Moments later, another weight sank down upon it, and Ryan’s wet nose pressed into his cheek. His lips twitched for a second, and let his hand rest on Ryan’s stubby ear. He shut his eyes and did his best to relax into the bed.

Tomorrow was going to be a long ass day.

[loyalty2waystreet]

Happy Stoniversary

by Loyalty2WayStreet

Summary:  Every year, Harvey and Mike indulge in a little tradition. Each year they skirt closer and closer to that invisible line. What happens when they finally cross it?  (Explicit)

Find it on AO3 here.

                                                      5+1 Things

1.  2012

Three things happen when Harvey Specter gets stoned; he loses his inhibitions, becomes very touchy feely and lastly, he gets super horny.  As a rule, he doesn’t get stoned.  But Harvey trusts Mike, and the kids Grammy just died, so he lights the damn joint and smokes up, in a show of support.

Mike has a colourful history with weed, so when he gets stoned, he still gets high, still gets horny and giggles his ass off and maybe gets a little clumsy, but because of his eidetic memory, he can mostly still function as an average human.

It’s Harvey that brings up pissing in somebody’s office, and Mike is delighted.  Stoned Harvey is life, and Mike can’t get enough of him, he thinks this might have been what Harvey was like back in college because he looks and acts so boyishly, a broad grin lighting up his face.  They come up with a plan of attack on Hardman, and Mike volunteers to down the Gatorade.

On their way to the firm, Harvey pulls and pushes Mike around like he’s a toddler, he even reaches across in the cab and fastens his seatbelt.  Mike thinks it’s weird and it must show on his face.

“What’s wrong?” Harvey asks, eyebrows drawn together in confusion.

“Nothing really, you’re just super tactile and very DIY when you’re stoned,” he answered, watching Harvey closely.

Harvey started laughing, and those four perfect creases at the corner of each eye that Mike loves, appear.

“You’re right, that’s pretty much my M.O. when I’m high,” he replied, as he reached over and ruffled Mike’s hair.

They don’t end up pissing in Hardman’s office after all, but they do have another joint and solve the world’s problems laying on the floor under Mike’s cubicle, in the dull light of the bullpen.

Mike’s brain, although slower than usual, comes up with the idea that Hardman faked the document and he rushed to his feet to test his theory.  He forgets he’s under his desk and slams his head into it.  He’s sure he sees yellow canaries flying in circles for about thirty seconds.

“You doing okay there, Rookie?” Harvey says leaning over him and getting right in his face.  Harvey starts stroking his head, and Mike is smiling back at him like an idiot.

Mike thinks Harvey’s giving him heart eyes?  Then he remembers that he’s stoned and that he always thinks everybody loves everybody when he’s high, so he dismisses it.

They confirm Mike’s theory; Hardman very well could have used Donna’s date stamp to fake the document, so they go in search of Hardman’s calendar in the file room.

Mike is flicking through his fifth filing cabinet, thinking about how nice a hot dog would be right about now when Harvey starts dashing toward him.

Mike turns to look at him when he calls out and slams his ribs hard into an open filing cabinet.  He yells out and doubles over in pain holding onto the no doubt bruised area.

“Jesus, Rookie, you’re a bit of a spaz when chemically altered, aren’t you?” Harvey teases, but reaches out to rub Mike’s back and right him against the filing cabinet.

“Let me have a look,” he demands, dropping to his knees and pulling Mike’s shirt up with one hand.

Harvey’s hand is silky but cool, and Mike flinches a little when it touches his skin.  He gently examines the area, lightly running his fingers up over each of Mike’s ribs.

“Just a bruise,” Harvey mutters as he flicks his thumb back and forth over Mike’s left nipple, and then runs his hand down the curve of Mike’s flank.

Mike stops breathing for a second, and Harvey needs to stand up and not have his eyes level with his cock anymore, or it’s going to become very apparent that Mike is enjoying the attention.  Harvey looks up at him then and grins mischievously before he stands.

Mike’s breath whooshes out, and he needs to remind himself that Harvey is touchy-feely when he’s high and that he gets ultra horny.  That’s all this is he assures himself, even if he has catalogued what Harvey looked like on his knees staring up at him with that look, for later.

“I found Hardman’s calendar, the smug bastard knew, and he’s setting me up!” Harvey accused.

“What are we gonna do?”

“Nothing more tonight, let’s go home, we can take the bastard down tomorrow,” He replied, yanking Mike by the sleeve in the direction of the lifts.

2.  2013

“So, it’s been a year since we?” Mike asked making a subtle joint smoking gesture.

Harvey had given him the Friday off as it was the anniversary of Grammy’s death.  He also decided, each year they should keep the tradition up of spending some time together around that time, just to unwind and be present in each other’s lives, even if they did light up and get wasted.  It was cheap therapy.

"It is,” Harvey answered, wiggling his eyebrows with a look of pure ratbag written all over his face.

"Should we maybe?” Mike ventured, trying not to laugh at Harvey’s hysterical boyish grin.

“I think I need to go get a coffee,” Harvey smiled, standing and giving Mike a wink.  “My place at 8ish?”

“Deal,” Mike agreed, trying to hide his excitement at getting another night with ‘high Harvey’.

By 9 pm they are thoroughly off their faces and heading to the firm, coming up with a vague plan to move Louis’s desk and personal belongings down to Paul Porter’s now vacant office on the 46th floor.

"Why does Louis have a picture of Shannon Miller in his office?”  Mike asks, brushing cat hair off his pants.

Harvey laughs and makes a funny snorting sound, “He likes gymnastics almost as much as his precious ballet,” he replies, air quoting the precious to magnify his prognosis; that Louis is weird.

“I did gymnastics when I was little before I started wrestling.” Mike supplied.

Harvey dissolved into a fit of giggles.

“You?” He said chuckling, “I’m sorry, I just imagined you in lycra.”

“Hahaha, I was only 9, and stop imagining me in lycra!”  Mike complained, throwing the picture into the last box.

“I can still do a mean cartwheel.” He bragged, wondering if he should ask Harvey if he kept food in his office, he had the munchies big time.

“Oh come on, that’s gymnastics 101, everyone can do those,” Harvey replied cockily.

“You, Harvey Specter, can cartwheel?” He said disbelievingly, “Prove it!”

Harvey thought it might be a bad idea for a few seconds, that is until he realised that he needed to prove Mike wrong.

“Fine,” Harvey said lifting his hands over his head to stretch, showing off a patch of skin above his hips that Mike found more interesting than he probably should.

He followed Harvey out into the wide hallway and watched as his boss did the most uncoordinated cartwheel in the history of cartwheels, anyone had ever had the pleasure of witnessing.  It was spectacularly shit, he nearly crashed into Donna’s desk and landed on his face.  Mike was laughing so hard he was crying, the laughter doubling him over when he saw Harvey’s solemn face.

“I don’t see you doing any better Rookie?” He challenged, pouting.

At that Mike winked, bent over and touched the floor and then stretched his hands over his head and as far back as he could.  Harvey noted that he was far more flexible than he looked and saved his more detailed thoughts on that for later, right now a challenge had been laid down.

Mike walked away from Harvey and back down the hall, doing his best stick up his ass gymnast impersonation, he pivoted and threw his hands in the air in a V, signalling the start of his routine.  Harvey was staring at him like he’d finally lost his mind.

Mike took off, sprinting like an armed criminal was chasing him and threw himself into the first cartwheel, but to Harvey’s surprise continued tumbling toward him at an alarming rate.  Mike had no idea how close he was to Harvey, and before he could stop they collided in mid-air, Harvey doing his best to grab Mike upright as they crashed to the ground, tangled up together, laughter shaking their bodies.

As they began to untangle themselves, Mike felt the heaviness of Harvey’s hand under his tee shirt; rubbing his belly softly, the searing heat of his hand making Mike shiver.  He put it down to how touchy feely Harvey was when he smoked pot, until the hand moved to rest just above his track pants, thumb rubbing lightly through the course hair, just above the band.  Mike’s pulse started to race, and all his blood rushed south as he swallowed loudly.

At that moment, the lift chimed, indicating its arrival.

“Shit,” Mike said, jumping to his feet, hauling Harvey up with him.

They ran and hid out in the closest office until the coast was clear.

As they left, Mike slapped the sign on Louis’s door.  “This office is marked for deep cleaning; people have complained about a smell of prune and pussy…. cat, kindly report to the 46th floor.“

Laughter was drifting through the halls of Pearson Darby as they left.

3.  2014

Mike had been back at Pearson Specter for three weeks, so it’s very last minute this year when they decide to visit the coffee cart guy on their way out of the office.

With zero inclination to return to Pearson Specter, they instead choose to launch an age old attack on Louis’s front yard.

"How much toilet paper do we need?” Harvey asked, migrating toward a large pack of thirty.

“I know this might surprise you Harvey, but I’m a teepeeing virgin,” Mike replied, a roguish smile on his face, “This pack should do,” he says, picking up a dodgy looking carton of thirty.

“That’s one ply,” Harvey complained, “I’m not throwing cheap toilet paper, I’m still classy.” He whined, doing an overexaggerated frown.

“You’re ridiculous!” Mike said, rolling his eyes as he picked up the expensive looking embossed three ply and threw it into the trolley.

“Let’s get some snacks,” Harvey suggested, jumping on the front of the trolley and pointing to the potato crisp aisle like he had spotted an island from a crow’ nest.

Two hours, four drinks and another joint later, Harvey Specter is giggling and throwing toilet paper over trees at 1 am in the morning.  Mike thinks this is the best day of his life.  He hits record on his iPhone, to get some video footage so that he can remember the joyous look on Harvey’s face as he desecrates Louis’ front lawn with toilet paper.  He might also use it to get a raise.

Mike pockets his phone and makes for the unused pile of toilet rolls, but in the process neglects to see a scary looking garden gnome in his path before it connects with his big toe.

“AWW FUCK!” He swears, forgetting what he’s doing momentarily until the next door neighbour’s dog starts going apeshit.

Security light flicks on, and Harvey sprints to Mike and grabs him, hauling him up and behind a tree out of sight just as Louis appears on the front porch.  Well, they think it’s Louis.  Someone with worse fashion sense than a Sacha Baron Cohen character, is wearing a size too small maroon Harvard onesie, fluffy slippers that look like cats, with some giant teeth whitening contraption in their mouth, looking like they’re about to blow a gasket.

“Jesus, my eyes.  No way Harvard sells those!” Harvey muttered, snickering.

“Oh my god, are those- “

“Stay still, or he’ll see us,” Harvey whispers into his ear as he presses Mike against the tree from behind.

Harvey’s dick is lined up with his crack, and he can feel every breath against his skin as Harvey breathes into his neck.  Harvey rolls his hips just enough that Mike knows even in his stoned haze that it’s happening, Harvey is rubbing his cock against his ass, and he is fucking turned on by it.  It seems ironic that he is a hardwood sandwich at that moment and he can’t contain himself and starts chuckling.  Harvey clamps a hand over his mouth.

Louis must hear the chuckle because he is irate and yelling about calling the police and getting a restraining order against his neighbour who Mike seems to recall killed Louis’s lawn on purpose when he last went to Boston.

A porch light flicks on across the street and a grumpy balding man steps out onto the veranda.

“Litt, what the fuck is going on?”

Mike and Harvey still and peer around the tree.  A visible trail of drool follows the whitening contraption out of Louis’s mouth.  Mike makes a gagging sound, and Harvey shoves his face into Mike’s neck, muffling his laughter.

“Don’t you bullshit me, Wayne, I know you did this,” Louis rages, “This time I’m calling the police, they have fingerprinting and shit these days, asshole!”

As he turns to go inside and make the call, they make their escape, running and giggling down the street like teenagers.

4.  2015

Jack Soloff had been coming at Harvey and messing with his salary, and Mike had just witnessed one of Harvey’s panic attacks when that time of the year came around again. “Maybe we should just give it a miss this year?” Mike suggested as they sat side by side in the office, giving Harvey an out if he needed it. “No, if anything I think I need a night out of my head right now.  Besides, it’s one of my favourite times of the year,” Harvey disclosed smiling for the first time in weeks as he recalled all their shenanigans. “You decide the what; I’ll supply the pot.” Harvey continued, giving Mike a wink. “Okay, rhyme time,” Mike replied standing, “I’m on it.  You want something low key that will piss Jack off.  Easy.” Harvey didn’t care what they did if he was with Mike.  He just wanted to forget about how alone he felt and how upset he’d gotten at the thought that Mike might leave him. Mike knew Jack was a proud man, so he figured something simple, that would dent that pride, would do the trick.  All it took was a quick call to Benjamin and an internet search for a wedding supplies shop.

_

When Harvey arrived at Mike’s apartment a day later and noticed the two blow up dolls on the couch, he had cause for concern.

“Tell me you’re not having a dry spell so bad you’ve had to resort to this?”

“Very funny old timer,” Mike snarked, grabbing two beers from the fridge and handing one over to Harvey, “Actually they’re participating in tonight’s festivities.”

“I’m a forty-year-old professional Mike, I’m-”

“Forty? Rounding down much?” Mike snorted, dodging out of Harvey’s reach, “Roll us a joint before your 50th birthday will you!”

Harvey narrowed his eyes, “Are you teasing me, because you like me, Mike?”

Mike stiffened, then relaxed when his brain caught up and he realised Harvey was joking.

“I like da weed, and you have da weed, man.” he deflected, nailing the accent.

At 1 am, two very stoned professional lawyers were seen climbing into a cab accompanied by two blow up dolls.  Apparently, Harvey’s standards had plummeted down to his expensive, well-polished shoes.  They received some very odd looks from the taxi driver, and if Harvey weren’t named partner, the security guards probably would have frisked them.

Once in Soloff’s office, they started to arrange the blow-up dolls in a compromising position bent over the couch.

“I forgot the sticky tape,” Mike giggled, “This one needs to be stuck down, so it bends over, see?”

Harvey snorted, “There’s some in my top left drawer if you must position them like that!”

“Sweet,” Mike called, heading out the door only to find Jack at the end of the hallway, talking on his phone, heading straight toward his office and them.

Mike commando dived back into the office.

“Shit, he’s coming.”

“Who’s coming?”  Harvey asked confused, looking out toward the darkened hallway and hearing a quiet voice talking in the distance.  His eyes grew wide.

“Grab the stuff, get behind the couch now!” He whispered, gesturing wildly.

Mike grabbed the dolls, Harvey grabbed the bag, and they both dived over the couch, Mike landing first, and Harvey landing on top of him, just as Jack walked through the door.

“Don’t move,” Harvey mouthed, lips inches from Mike’s face.

If they moved, no doubt something would make a noise, so they are stuck in this position, Harvey’s body covering Mike’s, with two blow up dolls and a bag alongside them.

The first five minutes were fun, Harvey was trying not to laugh, and Mike could feel his body shaking with the effort.  Mike enjoyed the weight of Harvey on top of him, though he would never admit that little gem out loud.

Jack was on the phone to Hardman for ten minutes before he hung up, but instead of leaving he started to write what sounded like an essay.

Fifteen minutes in and Mike’s limbs were starting to go to sleep, so he subtly tried to move, resulting in his hips thrusting upward ever so slightly, Harvey looked amused and started making suggestive faces like Mike was purposely trying to grind against him.  He wasn’t.  Well not really.

At twenty-five minutes, Harvey had started tracing circles with his nose on Mike’s cheeks and puffing hot air onto his face.  Mike was in hell and constantly thinking of Louis mudding to stave off the twitching going on below.

At thirty-five minutes, Harvey started rutting against him on purpose.  Mike whimpered, then froze when Jack’s typing abruptly stopped, and they heard the creak of his chair as he got up.  They held their breath as footsteps made their way toward them.

Then the lamp was switched off, and the door closed behind him.  In unison, the breath whooshed out of them.  Harvey didn’t immediately move to get off.

“Didn’t think this night would involve a four-way behind a couch,” Harvey said, grinning down at him.

“If that excites you so much, I can buy you a deluxe model for your 50th,” Mike quipped, sitting up with Harvey still straddling him, refusing to move.

“Reading people is my job Rookie, you loved every minute of that,” he replied smugly, finally shifting off Mike and helping him up.

They lit another joint and Mike went to work arranging the dolls while Harvey stuck them in place.  They attached masks that were scarily realistic, added a bridal veil to the head of Jack’s doll and sprinkled confetti on the floor.

They left the office quickly, but not before capturing a picture from the doorway of Jack being taken from behind by Daniel Hardman on his wedding night.

Maybe Mike sent that picture to Donna, so a large curious crowd was standing outside Jack’s office when he arrived at work later that day.

5.  2016

It had been a long year, most of Harvey’s energy had gone into fighting for Mike.  Fighting to stop him going to prison, fighting to get him out, fighting with him full stop and finally fighting for him to become a real lawyer.  During that time Harvey had finally admitted to himself that he wasn’t just doing this to give Mike his dream, he was doing it because he had fallen in love with him.

Since day one he’d found Mike sexually attractive, Christ, the blue-eyed kid could have worn a hessian sack, and Harvey would have found him irresistible, but he never expected it to turn into a love so deep he would do or give anything to protect the man.

Tonight, he wanted, no, needed Mike back here at the firm, with them working side by side because Harvey knew that Mike was marrying Rachel and that working with Mike and being with him every day was all he was going to get.  Well, that and their traditional yearly smoking sessions, when Harvey got to pretend that they were more than just friends.  That one night a year when he got to touch Mike under the guise of being chemically altered and then woke up with a hazy mind, alone in his plush king size bed, and empty condo.

Now finally they had accomplished it, Mike was in the Bar.  A real lawyer.  Mike was stunned into silence, and even as Donna, Rachel and Jessica congratulated him, he only had eyes for Harvey.  He stared at Harvey who gave him a grin so happy, broad and beautiful; it was Oscar worthy.

Harvey reached over and slapped his shoulder, while he subtly made a smoking gesture and raised his eyebrows, non-verbal communication was their strong point after all.

Mike grinned back at him, “Later.” He mouthed.

Harvey nodded, he supposed Mike was already pretty high on life right now.

Mike was finally coming home.  They shook on it.  Well to Harvey it felt more like they had held hands, but it didn’t matter because he would see Mike, probably more than Rachel ever would.

_

Four hours later, Mike walked back into his office.  Harvey was sitting on the couch, feet up on the glass table with a tumbler of scotch in his hand, staring out the window.

“Saying goodbye to your office?”  Mike asked from the doorway.

“Thought you would still be celebrating with Rachel?”

“Nah, she had to study,”

Harvey nodded, hearing what Mike wasn’t saying, Rachel was pointing out that she still had to work hard to have Mike’s dream of being a lawyer.

“Top right drawer,” Harvey directed.

Mike grabbed the two neatly rolled joints and lighter and smiled back at Harvey, he poured himself a drink and collapsed onto the couch next to Harvey and lit up.  When they started to giggle, and Mike realised he was more affected than usual, he looked sideways at Harvey’s boyish face to question him but got distracted by how beautiful his best friend looked, and he couldn’t help lifting his hand to Harvey’s face and tracing his fingers over the smile lines lightly.

“This,” Mike said, holding up the joint, “Is not the coffee cart guy.”

“No, it isn’t, I got you special pot for our stoniversary,” Harvey laughed, “It seems to be working well don’t you think?”

“Oh God, Either I am really stoned, or you just said the word, stoniversary!”

“Come on,” Harvey said pulling Mike to his feet, “Let’s go and have the other joint in my new office.”

“What’s wrong with my new office which is your old office, just like my last new office was your old office?” Mike mumbled, not able to control the grin on his face.

Harvey stared at him squinting, too stoned to work out what the hell he was saying.

“Smoking pot in the boss’s office, I’m going places,” Mike joked, flopping down on the couch, lighting the second joint and taking a long drag.

“I might have to do some redecorating next week,” Harvey said, surveying the area and taking the joint from Mike.  He tipped his head back against the couch and blew a series of perfect smoke rings into the air.

Mike coughed out a small laugh, “Any thoughts on how you’re gonna christen this office yet?” he asked cheekily, waggling his eyebrows.

“Why Pup, are you angling for a blowjob?” Harvey joked, rolling his head to the side so that he could see Mike.

Mike should have laughed it off, but those words, that invitation, even if he was just kidding, it had his dick stirring in his boxers immediately.  Harvey watched Mike swallow, then stare at his mouth, shit the pot must be good stuff for him to be contemplating this.  Harvey’s gaze dropped to Mike’s crotch, noticing the hardened outline of his cock becoming even more pronounced under Harvey’s gaze.

“Mike?” Harvey didn’t know what he was asking, but he was asking because he didn’t know how to proceed here.

“I … Ah, it must be the pot,” he said in a small voice, gesturing to the large tent in his jeans awkwardly.

Harvey dropped to his knees in front of Mike and slowly ran his hands up his thighs.

Mike hummed, his head flopping back against the couch.

“Fuck,“ Harvey ground out, “Are you okay with this?”

Without looking down, Mike undid his belt and top button and then moved his hands away.  It was an explicit invitation to continue.  

Harvey’s heart started to pick up the pace; he was nervous.  He wanted this to be amazing for Mike.  How many years had he imagined doing just this and now he had to fight the haze the pot was giving him and try to focus.

Harvey took a deep breath and looked up at the relaxed smile on Mike’s face.  He looked sexy, his five o’clock shadow giving him a gruffer appearance.  Harvey wanted to do more than just blow him.

Harvey carefully unzipped his fly, and Mike automatically lifted his hips off the couch to help as Harvey pulled his jeans down past his knees.  Harvey groaned when he pulled Mike’s boxers down his hips, and his perfect thick cock sprung out and stood to attention millimetres from his lips.

A drop of pre-cum slipped from Mike’s slit, and without hesitation Harvey licked at it, hungry for his first taste of Mike.

“Fuck…” Mike breathed.

Without wasting another second, Harvey sunk his mouth down over the thick cock as far as he could manage and let out a moan when the silky head hit the back of his throat.

The hot, wet heat of Harvey’s mouth and the sensation of his lips sliding down his shaft surprised Mike, he choked out a broken groan, and Harvey looked up at him and grinned, his pupils blown with lust and Mike nearly came right there.  He laced his fingers into Harvey’s hair and thrust once, experimentally into his mouth.

“Ahhh, shit that’s good.”

Mike’s head thumped back against the couch, hand sliding down to the back of Harvey’s neck as he continued to lick sloppily at his cock, swirling his tongue around the head and occasionally dipping it into his slit.

Harvey’s mouth and tongue were perfect, and considering Harvey was kind of stoned it was an unbelievably good blow job.

Mike felt his balls start to tighten, and when Harvey moaned around him, he couldn’t help thrusting again, into his throat.  Harvey took it; he didn’t choke or pull back, he just cried a muffled “Mike,” and bobbed his head taking him deeper each time, swallowing around the head of his cock.

"Fuck!” Mike groaned, as he grabbed Harvey’s hair again, harder, his mouth sliding further down his shaft as he thrust forward face fucking him, slowly at first and then gathering speed when Harvey grabbed his hips, pulling him forward, encouraging him until it became hard and fast.

“Shit, Harvey! So good. Oh God!”

Harvey glanced up at Mike, his jaw was slack, and his mouth had formed an O shape, his eyes were squeezed shut.  Soft moans were falling from his lips as his dick slid in and out of Harvey’s mouth.  Harvey balls tightened, Mike looked amazing, and all he could think about was how much he wanted to do this to Mike, again and again, over and over.

“Ahhh, fuck,” he mumbled around Mike’s cock as he came untouched in his pants, hips jerking forward erratically.

Mike’s balls were tight against him, so when Harvey mumbled around his cock and his fingernails gripped into his thighs, he plunged his cock down Harvey’s hot, wet throat until Harvey’s nose was buried in his pubic hair and came hard. White lighting flashed in his eyes, and heat shot down his spine as he splattered cum down Harvey’s throat.

"Sorry,” he grunted as his hips jerked forward, realising he hadn’t given Harvey any warning.

Harvey’s face looked flushed, and his eyes are blown wide like saucers, and Mike watches in awe as he drags his lips over the head of his cock, sucking up the last drops of cum.

They look at each other then, and a lump formed in Harvey’s throat as he realises that this was too far, this wasn’t just something they could write off as a little touchy feely, this was sex.  He drops his head, words failing him.

Mike reached down then and started to run his fingertips through Harvey’s hair gently.  He continued for a minute or so before cupping Harvey’s chin and bringing his lips down to meet Harvey’s in a soft kiss.

“That was unbelievable,” he breathed against Harvey’s lips, voice filled with awe.

A fresh wave of pot hits Harvey then, and he closes his eyes and sways a little on his knees.  Mike grabs his biceps and hauls him up next to him, pulls his boxers and jeans back up and then straddles Harvey, and before he can change his mind, he starts pressing soft kisses against his lips, waiting for Harvey to get with the program and kiss him back.

When Harvey finally concedes and places the sweetest kiss back against Mike’s lips, it’s like the floodgates open.  Harvey is licking into his mouth and taking him apart with every searing kiss, his hands are up Mike’s shirt, on the globes of Mike’s ass, in his hair, roaming everywhere while he continues to take Mike’s breath away with his mouth.

They’ve been making out like life depended on it for twenty or so minutes when Mike stops and pulls away abruptly.

“Mike?” Harvey says, voice filled with concern.

Mike turned to him slowly with a solemn look on his face.

“I’m starving,” he said, and then burst out laughing.  Harvey was joining in the laughter a heartbeat later.

After cleaning themselves up, they grab a burger and fries at a local all-night café, and when they part to go home, Mike grabs Harvey’s hand and squeezes it once before he turns and walks toward the subway.  Leaving Harvey standing alone, eyes shining as he watches Mike until he is gone.

+1.  2016

When Harvey woke that morning, he had hoped it was all just a dream, an 'I got high and blew my best friend/unrequited love’, stoner dream, but even after brushing his teeth a third time he could still taste Mike Ross in his mouth.

“Come over; we need to talk.”

“I’m downstairs, be up in a minute.”

Harvey grimaced, of course he was.  The thought of Mike here to tell him they had crossed an invisible line and they needed to bury it, no more yearly tradition, it made his chest constrict, and he could feel a migraine coming on.  He could have denied it up until last night, but now it was out there, between them, there was a real part of him that wanted this guilty pleasure not just to happen once a year but forever.  Harvey could admit to himself that he wanted Mike to feel the same but realistically, he knew he was marrying Rachel and even if he weren’t would he want to spend his life with him?

Mike preened himself in the mirror while the lift climbed to the top floor, adjusting a few strands of hair that weren’t quite perfect.  Since day one, he had always wanted to look his best for Harvey; today he had put on his darkest denim jeans and his black button down shirt, showing a little bit of chest hair then rolled up the sleeves to showcase his muscled forearms.  He hoped it would throw Harvey off enough that he wouldn’t resort to denial and be skittish, coming up with explanations and evidence about why last night was a mistake.  Mike knew it wasn’t; it had been coming for five long years.

He knocked, only waiting a few seconds before Harvey opened the door, with a tight smile on his face.  Harvey turned and walked straight to the kitchen, grabbing a glass of scotch, and placed it into Mike’s hand. Mike set down the glass. “I don’t need it, Harvey, I’ve come here to say what I need to, if you don’t like it, I’ll go.” Go.  No, Harvey didn’t want that, he thought as he sunk onto the couch. “So?  What do you need to say?” Even though he knew it was the right thing to do, calling this whole thing off, it was still going to hurt.  He hoped Mike would make it as quick and pain-free as possible.  Rip the band-aid off and go so that Harvey could combust in private. “I need a week off work,” Mike requested. “What?” he responded, surprised. Whatever he thought Mike was going to say, it sure as hell wasn’t that. “Well,” Mike continued nervously, “I really enjoyed last night, um especially the errr … bit on the couch, so when my head cleared, I sat down and spoke with Rachel, and it’s over,” he affirmed, “It will take me a week to pack up all my shit and move it in here.  What do you say?” Harvey stared at him like he had lost his shit. “Are you joking?  You want to move in?  We… You… Us?” He spluttered, not quite grasping this unlikely turn of events fully. Mike laughed, the pure happy sound echoed around the condo in the way that Harvey had always wanted and imagined it would. “How are you the best closer in New York?  You can’t even form a sentence right now!” Mike chirped, his blue eyes smiling at Harvey. “You’re serious about this?” He asked, rising to his feet. “As a heart attack,” Mike replied, hand on his heart for effect. “Jesus,” Harvey laughed nervously, “You may as well marry me while you’re at it!” He joked. “Okay,” Mike responded with enthusiasm. Harvey grinned at him and moved into Mike’s space.  His hand shook as he placed it on Mike’s cheek. He leant in, so their foreheads touched. “I’m serious; you can’t do all of this,” He gestured haphazardly, “Us, move in here, everything unless it’s really what you want.  I need you to be sure.” “Yep,” Mike said, taking a step backwards, “I am sure, but you’re not giving me much assurance that you are?” “Puppy,” Harvey breathed, “No-one else could ever hold my heart like you do.” Mike smile was so big and bright, if it were possible for Harvey to love him with more than every fibre of his being, that would do it. “I have a couple of things I’d like to negotiate for this to work, though.” Mike proposed. Harvey raised his eyebrows, “YOU have conditions about moving into MY place?  Oh, this outta be good!” “Specter-Ross,” Mike blurted. “You better be talking about your surname!” “Nope, maybe not in a year, but within five.  I want my name on the door, next to yours.  I don’t care where.” “We’ll see, I’m not opposed to the idea, but you have to be seen to be worthy by your colleagues too,”  Harvey reminded him.

“I understand, you know I can do that.” He replied smugly.

“Yeah, I know,” he said fondly. “What else have you got for me?” He asked, sitting and pulling Mike down to straddle him on the couch.

“Um, Well..” Mike started, leaning out of Harvey’s persistent nips at his neck.

“What is it?”

“I want to be wooed.”

“Wooed?” Harvey repeated, the confusion evident on his face. “Yes Harvey, wooed. I know we’ve known each other a while, but I want dinner, movies and chocolates,” he confirmed, giving Harvey a 'this is non-negotiable’ stare. “Jesus, when the hell did you get your seniors card?” He jested, smirking at him. “Oh, just woo me already!”  He said, wrapping his arms tighter around Harvey’s shoulders and relaxing against him.

He was home now.                            

A week after Mike moves into the guest bedroom, he comes home and finds a basket full of extravagant chocolates and an envelope holding a card, inviting him out to dinner with a private rooftop movie screening, afterwards.

Mike would never have said he was easy, but from that night onward he no longer required the guest bedroom.

The End.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.  I would like to thank my lovely beta @novemberhush for encouraging me and helping me improve.  I would also like to thank @cowandcalf @writing2reachyou @littlepinkpencil @elloras @superlock-in-the-tardis @bellemmie @nat-st1989 @paleskinnedviolet @sosauffie and @ariaportman (Probably others too.) for the support.  Whether it was encouragement, help with storyline ideas or simply just liking the fact that I was writing.  Thank You! x

[skaerkilde]

“go ask alice”

i was struck by sudden inspiration two write a little fiction for @skittidyne‘s The Rook series, mostly because i want to get back into the groove of writing, and what better way than with some indulgent fanfic?

it involved the main character, tuesday, and a fan demon that i thought up for shit’s n’ giggles. consider this part one in a short series.

by the book this is based on!: the rook

buy it’s sequel!: the ram

tw: implied abuse, transformation, threat of death

-_-_-

One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small And the ones that mother gives you, don’t do anything at all

Go ask Alice, when she’s ten feet tall

Tuesday slid her key into the lock of her third new door, jiggling it a bit to fit it all the way in. The repairman was starting to become suspicious, and she could only evade explanations for so long. She doubted that admitting she had ultra-strong demons busting her door down every few months would go over well with her landlord, and they already knew she was ‘disturbed.’ That would just give them more reason to call Tuesday’s psychiatrist and report her as a danger. She needed that like she needed more demons in her life.

Inside, she pressed the door closed, leaning back against it as she tried to gather her thoughts. Filming for the The Rook was going well, but she’d had to step out for some of the scenes they were filming. Seeing the actor playing the Rook always turned her stomach; he was a great actor, but he played the part a little too well for her liking. On the bright side, maybe he’d win an Academy Award.

Crnch.

Tuesday snapped her eyes open, towards the source of the sound. She hadn’t seen before (how could she not have seen, it was RIGHT THERE), but there was a child sitting on the couch, chewing on something that made Tuesday’s ears want to detach. The child looked no older than twelve, wearing a denim jumper and a magenta turtleneck. Her complexion, hair, and eyes all seemed to be the same shade of warm rosewood, and when she noticed Tuesday’s stare, she smiled with all her teeth.

“Oh, hi. I hope you don’t mind if I let myself in. It was getting a little boring outside.” The young girl (though, with demons, you could never be sure) crunched on… whatever she was eating, and Tuesday winced.

“Who are you?” She kept her back to the door, one hand reaching for the knob, in case she had to make an escape. She wanted to ask how she’d got in, where the Rook was, and how he was even letting her stay. Fear pierced her as she wondered if this girl had somehow killed the Rook- but that was impossible. No one could kill the Rook.

“Oh, relax, I’m not going to hurt you,” the girl said, and held up a cup. She spit some small, dark things into the cup, and then swallowed. From a small baggie in her lap, the girl popped some more of the black things into her mouth, and began crunching again. Sunflower seeds, Tuesday suddenly realized. She’s eating sunflower seeds.

“C’mere, sit.” Her tone was casual, but Tuesday had learned that they could turn vicious pretty quickly, no matter how unassuming they looked. Slowly, she left the door and approached the couch, sitting as far from the child as she could. The kid just kept crunching, watching Tuesday with a lazy, almost apathetic grin.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Tuesday prompted, when the child said nothing. She kept chewing for a few more minutes, before spitting out the shells and swallowing their insides.

“I’m the Hamster.” That’s all she offered, still content to watch Tuesday. It was getting a little unnerving, the way she stared at her, like she was watching animal, waiting for it to do a trick.

“I’ve… never heard of you.” That would normally anger most demons, but the Hamster just shrugged and popped some more seeds into her mouth.

“Doesn’t surprise me. I tend to keep to myself. Don’t really, heh, ruffle any feathers.” She winked and nudged her elbow at Tuesday. She offered a half-hearted laugh in response.

“Right. So, um, where is the R–”

“Shhhp. No need to say his name. He’s out hunting. You’re back earlier than he thought you would be.”

Tuesday was taken aback by this. “How do you know that.”

The Hamster grinned, showing all her pretty, pearly teeth again. “C’mon, Tuesday. Do you think I would just show up one day, without knowing your and his routines? I’m not stupid.”

“I-I wasn’t saying you’re stupid, just–”

“I know you weren’t! Gosh, poor little Tuesday,” the Hamster crooned, her grin dropping to a sympathetic frown. “Does the big bad birdie have you so scared of him, that you’re afraid to say anything? That’s so sad.”

Tuesday bristled. “I’m not scared of him. I respect him.”

“Oh, honey. Everyone’s scared of the Rook. If he wasn’t here, every demon I could name, and some other I can’t, would be knocking down your door to take you away.”

Tuesday cringed at the imagery; she didn’t want anything else knocking her door down. She couldn’t afford another replacement, or another trip to the sanatorium. “Then why are you here? Aren’t you afraid of him?”

“Terrified.” The Hamster spat out her shells again. “But I know what I’m doing. I can sneak and scout without him finding out. You can’t smell something you can’t see.”

That phrasing confused her. Tuesday knew all demons had some kind of special power, usually something that could keep them safe from other demons. “So, can you turn invisible? That’s why he can’t see you?”

The Hamster snorted. “Invisible? No. Even if I could, it wouldn’t help. That’s someone else’s shtick. When I said you can’t smell what you can’t see, I meant you can’t smell what’s too small to see.”

“But, you’re not that small.”

“I’m not?”

With a wave of her hand, the Hamster was gone. Tuesday blinked, wondering if she really had turned invisible, but she saw something move on the cushion where she’d been sitting. There was the Hamster, the size of… well, a hamster. She was holding a sunflower seed roughly the size of her head, and in another blink, she was returned to normal size, with the seed in her palm.

“I can go smaller too,” she said, flicking the seed at Tuesday. She was too distracted to catch it, and so it just bounced harmlessly off her chest. “Once you get small enough, your scent becomes nothing. Not even a trained drug-hound could sniff me out.”

Tuesday could see the advantages of being small. She could hide in the walls and under furniture, but it wouldn’t be easy to run away. And something could snatch her up easily, hold her in their hand, and squeeze the life out of her…

“That doesn’t seem like much of an advantage,” she said. “Unless you could get bigger, too.”

“I can. I would show you, but I’d end up destroying your apartment.”

“Please don’t.”

The Hamster laughed, throwing her head back. “Oh, Tuesday, you’re a hoot. I can see why the Rook likes you.”

“Really,” she responded drily. “And it’s just because I taste good?”

“Well, there is that,” the Hamster conceded. “But you’re funny, too. I bet if you weren’t so scared of him, you’d say a lot more funny stuff.”

“I told you, I’m not scared of him.”

“And I told you, everyone’s scared of him.”

“Even you,” Tuesday said, and the Hamster looked her as if to say, ‘watch yourself.’ “I could call him right now, and he’d be here.”

The Hamster yawned. “You won’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because you shouldn’t talk with your mouth full.”

In an instant, Tuesday felt everything about her diminish. As she yelled, her voice became nothing more than a whisper. Her hands, grasping at air, caught even less as they shrank. She felt no pain from the transformation, but her heart threatened to hammer out of her chest as she started up at the Hamster, now looking like a giant from a fairy tale.

“Fee, fi, fo, fum,” the Hamster sang, as if she was reading Tuesday’s thoughts. “I smell the blood of a cannibal.”

Tuesday tried to call for the Rook, but the Hamster snatched her up in one quick motion, and crushed the breath out of her. To add insult to injury, she even shoved a sunflower seed into her mouth to muffle her wheezing.

“Not so confident now, are you, Miss Tuesday?” The Hamster’s voice pounded at Tuesday’s eardrums, and she squeezes her eyes shut to try and block out the pain. Her chest strained against the Hamster’s fingers, and her grip loosened just enough for Tuesday to regain her breath.

“You’d make a cute little doll,” the Hamster observed, reaching up stroke Tuesday’s hair. She tried to shy away from the touch, but the demon caught a strand of her hair anyway, and suddenly yanked. It was only a few strands, but it still hurt, no matter her size.

“I could dress you up and play with you all day! I have a dollhouse you could live in, and you’d be happy there- but I’ll tell you more about it next time. My time’s up.”

The Hamster dropped Tuesday, and she felt herself freefalling. She wondered if this would be how it ended, crushing herself on the floor of her apartment, the size of a doll, when she suddenly hit the ground with a dull thud. Nothing was broken, and Tuesday realized she’d been returned to her normal size.

When she sat up, the Hamster was gone, though she faintly heard the sound of something scrabbling under the door. Before she could look and investigate, she heard a window open in the bedroom.

“Michael, you’re home early,” the Rook crowed, when he saw Tuesday sitting on the floor. He looked refreshed, his dark hair still a little windblown from his flight. “This is a nice surprise. Now we have more time to spend together. Why are you on the floor?”

Tuesday opened her mouth to speak, but instead of words, what came out of her mouth were a strangled choke, and a single sunflower seed, landing on the floor at the Rook’s feet.

“I was… I was choking,” she lied, noticing that the Hamster had left her bag of seeds and her shell cup. The Rook frowned, narrowing his eyes at her.

“That’s rude,” he said, reaching down and hauling Tuesday up by the arm. “You’re not allowed to die until I kill you. Don’t forget that, Michael.”

Tuesday looked up at him, stunned that he’d bought her lie, and hadn’t noticed the Hamster’s presence. She decided she could keep some secrets from him. “Of course, Rook. I won’t forget again.”

[hardcoremollywobbles]

Momma Molly’s Smut-bunny Saviour #1

Here is where I will tell the kiddies to look away, and lock us in this room, so my own children never hear this conversation.  I think Percy would faint.  This lesson, if you couldn’t tell by the title, is not for kids. I have been noticing a set of rising trends in role-play and fan fiction.  Trends that relate to the writing of smut.  Certain words have come creeping into common use, that really do work against the writer, in achieving their desired response from the reader.  I have decided, as an experienced mother of seven, a woman who knows her way around ‘the deed,’ to save you from yourselves.  Here are some tips, to help you on your way. (Examples are drawn from things I have actually seen, so don’t judge me too harshly for them.  Oh, and expect an obnoxious number of et ceteras.) 1) Pay attention to such things as where the chosen word is placed.   There are different rules for where a word might sit in dialog and where one might fall in the narrative (the story being told outside of speech).  If your chosen word is in the narrative, there are far stricter rules on what sounds good. Example: there’s a difference between one bloke telling his mate, “she’s got tits out to here,” and the narrative saying, ‘her tits were very big and bouncy.’   Coarse words, like ass, or any abbreviated word (nips, clit, etc.) have no place in the narrative.  Their only place is in the dialog, if anywhere. 2) Avoid being too clinical.  No one cares if you went to medical school, when you’re writing sex scenes. And no one wants to be reminded of a text book or a corpse, when they’re getting in the mood.  Well, some people do, but necrophiliacs aren’t the majority of your audience.  Avoid directly literal names that you would lift from a text book.  These words sound rough, crass, indelicate, and also very medical (A.K.A. boring). Examples: Vulva, vagina, penis, blood engorged anything (just avoid blood, altogether, unless it’s external- blood drinking is fine), phallus, uterus, anus, colon, cervix, semen, sperm, fluid, arousal, lubrication, clitoris, labia/labial, fold, wrinkle, testicles/testes, appendage, prostate (as in prostate-stabber), muscle/love muscle/life muscle, perineum, organ, limb, etc.  Even member can sound clinical, sometimes. 3) Avoid most short U sounds.  That dreaded uh hangs there, like a mouth about to vomit.  Some of these tend to sound or feel aggressive, as well.  Unwelcoming and sandy.  It turns off a good 60+ percent of your readers, even if they’re too polite to say so.  I’ve developed this theory about the uh sound, and it seems to hold true.   Examples in the flesh: front bum, love tunnel/fun tunnel/cream tunnel, pleasure nub, nub/nubbin (this makes me think of trying to make a vestigial tail or extra nipple erotic), butt, nut(s), fur, fur burger, cunt, smut (funny word, not sexy word), chubby, fuck stem, spunk/spunk trumpet and love trumpet, purple helmet yogurt chucker, vulva (and any of the above that fit the bill), pussy, mushroom/Mr. Mushroom, muff, muffin, humps/lumps (I don’t care if they’re your lovely lady lumps, nothing will make your cases of scoliosis and the mumps sexy, Honey), bulge/bulging, stump, slug (whether in Shell-shedding slug of affection, or When he went down on me, it felt like a slug in a slip-n-slide, there’s no sexiness here), rump, bud (only if you’re desperate for a second clitoris word), button/fuck button (”), junk, jugs, bumper, dumper, cum dumpster, buns, truncheon, rug/rug-muncher, chunky, turgid, etc. Examples in the deed: cum/cummies, nut, bust a nut, hump, pump (less bad than hump), fuck (situationally dependent, not great for narrative), punch, spunk, munch, lunch, bump/bump uglies, nurse and suckle (you’re not a baby), dutch love and titty fuck, chug, tug, rub and tug, slurp, guzzle, gulp, sputter, splutter, fudge packing (don’t draw attention to the feces, unless that’s what your fic is all about, Friend), etc. And never say your dick up-chucked its load.  Please. 4) Not all alliterations are attractive.  I know, it sounds like it can’t be true!  Listen, though.  There is many an alliteration that just falls flat.  Or even if they don’t, they tend to be more funny than sexy. Examples: Pocket rocket (that sounds both small and fast), panty poking, hanky panky, womb groom, tonsil tickler, thrill drill, bologna pony/baloney pony, throb knob, flail nail, gasm chasm, etc. 5) Avoid certain short, flat A sounds. They often sound harsh and unsexy. Examples: Twat (also the American pronunciation of twot is unpleasant), snatch, ass, grab, fat, vag, mack, fanny (either way you mean it), jack, rack, slap (as in slap a tit/slap the sausage), clam/bearded clam (you can refer to the clitoris as the pearl, but don’t call the vagina a clam), yank, wank, crank, gap, gland, spooge cannon, tallywhacker, sack, mams, gag/gagging, stab, etc. 6) Avoid these uncomfortable words: Moist, damp, dank, musky (if it’s his scent, fine, I guess. If it’s a lady’s particular intimate region, die in some fiendfyre), musty, fishy, hairy anything (hairy sounds wild, unkempt, vulgar- there are sexier ways of wording it), weeping, seeping, leaking, dribbling, drip stink, stank, odor (scent or aroma is much better. Trust me.  Even perfume), girth/girthed/girthy, slime/slimy, soggy, spongy, slobbering, liquefied, oozing, fleshy, meaty, turgescent, etc.   7) Genitalia are not interchangeable with animals, unless you’re a bestiac. Words like pussy, beaver, squirrel, and kitty are juvenile. And that’s before you get to camel toe and moose knuckle, dog/hound-dog/crotch dog, dolphin, porpoise, crotch-daschund, snake (and any kind of snake), weasel, worm, flobberworm, the giraffe neck, lizard, trunk, etc. 8) These words may not have been placed in the above categories, but they are just not sexy.  Essentially, if you’d hear it out of a 14 year old boy’s favourite joke, don’t use it.  Those are better for jest than lust.  Here are some examples. -Male anatomy- Non-descript: Dong, ding dong, dingaling, thingy, thing (the thing that rose, the thing that grows, the thing that looks like an exclamation point, and more. Outta call that one an interrobang! But seriously, they are all terrible), pecker, the south pole, wiener, schlong, hard-on, prick (sounds so tiny and portable!), anything with masculine in it (It’s a penis. It doesn’t need to be a camo painted penis for us to get that it belongs to a bloke), wood, peen, manliness/man-ness, package (stimulus, or otherwise), Johnson/John-Thomas (not unless you buy it a monocle), etc. Visuals: man root, stem (so slender!), sausage, lightning rod, silly string shooter, tree trunk, baby’s arm, man meat, baby-maker, meat train, meat tampon, carrot (man or otherwise), boner (that’s a term for mistake for a reason), beef slinky, Mr. Floppy (as in, Mr. Floppy stood at attention), stiffy, lollipop (skinny, with a wonky, fat head?), batter blaster, You-know-what (I don’t need to hear about Voltemort’s erection), fishing pole, pickle/puking pickle, porker, pork or beef anything, leaking crown, knob, noodle/man-noodle, throat spackler, log/leaking log, monster, one-eyed anything, throbbing mass, man-cannon, etc. Basically, it will rarely, if ever, sound good to have man in front of anything.   Twig and berries, meat and two veg... Meat pipe, meat whistle or meat flute. Basically, if it starts with meat, or any kind of meat, just don’t use it.  Really. Balls, coin purse, funbags, punching bags, eggs, danglers, nuggets, spuds/love spuds, kiwis, etc. Many people feel like stalk, dick and cock sound terrible or gross, according to research, so branch out.  Try some new words. Some people feel that weaponry euphemisms are too aggressive, or that they advocate unwanted sexual violence.  Maybe try writing without words like sword and sheath, cannon, missile (and meat missile or heat seeking moisture missile), spear, blade, gun/love gun/rifle/DNA rifle/egg sniper/beef bazooka, ram rod, projectile anything, weapon/pleasure weapon, hammer of anything/warhammer, drill/fucktool, pike, spike and spire (so pointy!), helmeted warrior, mauve avenger, axe and axe wound, reamer, cherry assassin, battering ram, etc. We’re generally not trying to draw blood, here.

-Female anatomy-  Jumbos, titties/tits, boobs/boobies, knockers, funbags, peaches, hooters, tatas, pillows, hood, headlights, melons, sweater puppies, milk sacks, chest balls, etc. Triangular area (way to take the sexuality right out of it), baby-maker, fun factory, snack shack, carpet, cavity (holy, unholy and otherwise), honey-pot, lady town, minge (ginger minge?), gay man’s nemisis (because vaginas are all at war with men that don’t want them? Ridiculous), location, love wallet, hairy checkbook/wallet, mound, flesh mitten, driveway/garage/oven, box, taco, pleasure casino (adding pleasure to something doesn’t make it sexy, ffs), lady garden, letter O, love pocket/cock pocket, hole, sideways smile, downstairs mouth/down south mouth, valve, etc. And, again, I really must mention the ultra violent imagery that calls bleeding to mind, such as  gash, slash, axe wound, love wound, slice, slit/slit of ecstasy, pin cushion, arena/combat arena, missile silo, etc.

Gender-neutral anatomy: poopshoot/poop cavern, rusty bullet hole, Hershey Highway, strata chocolata, chocolate starfish, chocolate hotdog hallway, brown eye, fudge factory, fart factory, etc. Don’t draw attention to the feces, if you want to keep the reader comfortable or into the writing. Back door, rear, hiney, hind quarters, fleshy globes, balloon knot, button, boy pussy/boi pussi, wrinkled or puckered kiss, anal fortress, booty, etc. Narrow alleyway, cock cave, pool of sex/pool of ecstasy, taint, etc. Business, region, vicinity, down there, etc.  Pubes/bed of pubes.  Also, sex/the sex/his sex/her sex.  This one is so vague and so overused.  It’s probably the worst skill-based thing about the writing of Anne Rice. “He put his sex in her sex, and it was sex. Preternatural sex.”  Yeah, I said it. 

Fluids and related terms: toothpaste (even if it’s ‘the toothpaste of love’), juice, spooge (frothy or otherwise), pearl necklace and money shot, jizz, pre-cum, mayonnaise, baby batter/baby gravy (no one should want to think about babies when someone is in the act of release. Seriously), man-milk (remember about just jamming man in there?), protein shake, tadpole yogurt, etc.  And don’t use vanilla for semen, just because of the colour.  I assure you, it doesn’t taste like it.

Other words or terms: she took it like a man (devalues a gender strong enough to deal with periods AND pushing out babies. I’d like to see you try that), popping, grope, pork/porking (funny, not sexy), bone, eating out, handjob/blowjob, gobble, getting your rocks off, getting off, etc. And don’t ever use the words ‘his dick erupted like a zit, spraying its white hot load.’  Ever.  Not least of all because load isn’t a sexy word, and the rest of it is stomach turning.  It was the worst thing I read in a fic for a year. 9) This is how we do it.  Here are some good starter tips, to avoid these clichéd traps and unpleasant expressions: - Stretch your vocabulary.  Explore new words and phrases. Create something original. - Try to think of the story you’re telling, and the characters in it.  Would they think in a direction that aligns with your narrative?   - Try to think of how the words you chose will inform your reader(s) about your feelings or your character’s feelings.  Are your words devaluing the other character(s)?  Are your words treating said character(s) as one would an object?  Is that your intent, as the story teller? - Remember foreplay. - Try to consider what responses feel real or true. - Think about the actual physics involved.  What things would cause stresses on the body, and where?  How would this impact the movements that your character(s) enact?  Sex isn’t a clean and harmless activity, if it’s rough, for example. So, here goes busting some myths, for the purposes of delivering helpful information.          If you’re holding someone up against a wall, there’s going to be limited ranges of certain movements.  You will probably bang your knees.  If you’re holding someone up, you probably won’t be able to get a hand between the two of you, to fiddle with anyone’s bits, or up, to pull anyone’s hair.  You would need an extra hand for that.  Also, it’s important to note that your character will probably only have two hands.          If you’re penetrating, that singular entry will probably not be a seamless thrust to your hilt.  You’ve got to push or slide that thing in.  Thrusting tends to come later, Sport.              And speaking of ‘come later,’ simultaneous orgasms are rare, and usually involve some tantric discipline.  You’re not going to nail that, each time.  And I’d be surprised if it happened on anyone’s first time.  Gents who slip it in that first time will probably shoot off too soon, and that’s normal and okay.            Homosexual males don’t tend to use melted butter for intercourse, and no, blood does NOT make a good lubricant.  Also, gay fics have way too much anal penetration.  Yes, you heard me.  In most cases, a homosexual couple will tend towards more oral sex and foreplay, because if they were all only doing anal it would a) get boring fast, and b) cause a lot of unnecessary soreness.  You need to balance those things, in a meaningful relationship fic.  I get that not every character interaction involves care, but where it does, learn a little balance.           Speaking of balance, when writing BDSM fics, remember the importance of aftercare. Read about it. Learn about it.  It’s a big part of a BDSM relationship. I know that this is a bit rushed and disorganized, but I really hope that you find it helpful.  

[petitelepus]

A Simple Femme In Beast's Suit, Part 4

Apparently, I had forgotten to post part 4 here in Tumblr! What an idiot I was, forgive me, my dear Readers, this was purely my fault. Enjoy the late chapter!

Swerve yawned and stretched his arms far above his helm. Last night at the bar was a long one and he had to stay extra late to clean up the mess Whirl left behind after his latest bar fight. Swerve should start to charge him for every cube he broke or smashed against someone else’s helm.

The minibot sighed as he made his way to his morning shift. He should probably ask from Ultra Magnus if he could change Swerve’s shift to midday so he could recharge a little bit longer after a long night working and serving the ship’s crew.

Swerve was actually so deep in his thoughts that he didn’t notice another mech standing in the middle of the hallway before he had walked straight at them and successfully knocked himself on his aft.

”Ouch! What the—? Who’s blocking the hall, people are walking here and if the hall is blocked they won’t be able to walk and get where they are going and—” Swerve lifted his helm to look who he had bumped into and was intimidated into silence by enormous dark figure over him.

His mouth was going, but no sound came from his mouth. There was a humanoid figure so tall that its head almost grazed the ceiling, it’s pitch black form sucking all the light around it and the eyes. The split crimson gleaming eyes stared straight through Swerve’s chassis and into his spark. He recognized those eyes, he saw them in his nightmares.

”M- m- mon- mons…!” Swerve stuttered in horror as he struggled to back up. He had to let everyone know that the beast had escaped. Everyone was in danger!

”Wow wow wow!” Came a loud yell from behind the dark figure and Brainstorm appeared from behind it. Swerve had to warn him, maybe he could stun the monster or run and call captains to help! ”Brainstorm, i- it’s the monster! It’s out!”

”Oh Swerve! I didn’t see you there! What are you doing on the ground?” Brainstorm asked, just noticing the small mech. Before Swerve could answer, Brainstorm walked up to him and offered his hand for him. ”Here, let me help you up!”

Swerve shakily took the flyer’s hand and the mech yanked him up with one quick yank. As soon as Swerve was on his pedes, he jumped behind Brainstorm. ”How can you be so calm, there is a monster right behind you and we need to let others know before it kills someone!”

”Blazy? Nah, Blazy wouldn’t hurt even a Decepticon!” Brainstorm laughed, nimbly removing minibot’s servos around his waist and walking up to the dark creature standing before them.

”Down girl.” Brainstorm ordered jabbing his servo downwards sharply. The figure silently crouched down until its head was just above the scientist’s own.

”She’s kind and tame as cybercat! Aren’t you, yes you are, yes you are!” The mad mech baby talked to creature twice as big as him, trapping its head between his hands to ruffle and nuzzle his forehead against its own. The creature growled and Brainstorm just ruffled it harder and Swerve was sure it was going to hurt the scientist, but it actually closed its eyes contently.

Swerve’s spark was pulsing double the speed it should be, but as Brainstorm kept petting the creature, the minibot slowly calmed down and his fear ebbed away. That’s when he noticed that it wasn’t a monster before him, but a very large Cybertronian femme.

”S- she’s a femme?!”

”Of course she is!” Brainstorm laughed and let go of her in order to introduce the mechs to each other. ”Swerve, allow me to introduce you to Blazebite! Blazebite, this is Swerve. He’s our metallurgist and bartender!”

”Swee… lug?” The big femme questioned very slowly. Swerve felt his fans start up. Her voice was absolutely gorgeous. It was primal, sultry and it had this unknown accent in it that promised wonders beyond mere Cybertronian’s imagination. As Brainstorm proceeded to explain to Blazebite what a metallurgist was, Swerve took in her appearance.

She was enormous, probably as big if not even bigger than Fortress Maximus or Overlord. She had to be to hold in her former wings, tail and beast’s limbs.

Her armor was a mix of different shades of black and grey. It was ragged and primal looking armor, nothing like Autobot’s frame was. She had a crown of sharp horns grown from her helm, a pair of gleaming crimson optics that carefully followed Brainstorm’s hectic hand motions, sharp servos much like Cyclonus’ owns hanging limply on her sides and crimson biolight linings running between her armor plates.

If the minibot looked more carefully, he could see the unique shape of her optics, fine nasal ridge, pretty lips, and amazing frame’s figure and chassis like no other he had seen before.

Swerve wasn’t sure if he liked it, but he couldn’t deny it. Blazebite was hot.

”—and that’s what Swerve does! He’s also a bartender that takes care of mechs and serves them drinks of engex!” Brainstorm finished explaining Swerve’s job to a very confused femme who tilted her helm. ”En… eks?”

”It’s a drink. You drink it and it makes you feel funny and usually happy.”

”Unn… ny?”

”You’ll get to know a funny feeling once you’re old enough to drink. I’ll take you to Swerve’s then for your first drink.”

Blazebite didn’t ask any further, but she did growl shortly as a way to say yes.

”Um… Brainstorm? May I have your attention for a moment? If that’s okay with you?” Swerve asked. The mad flyer made a quick spin and threw thumbs up at the metallurgist. ”Go ahead! I do love explaining things to a certain degree!”

”Why is she so…?” How could he say it nicely? Stupid would have been too harsh. ”Slow?”

”Aaah, well, I asked Chromedome to reboot her and wipe down all her memories. She’s at the same level as a giant sparkler at the moment, but no worries! With my genius guidance, she will grow quickly into a great crew mate for us!”

They had her rebooted? Meaning she didn’t have any memories left from her life as a giant killer monster? She had no memories of choosing Swerve as her mate or even giving him… oral pleasure?

Swerve was so happy! Now his nightmares and fears about her breaking out could end! No more fear of shame that someone found out about their interfacing or how he was begging and crying for his life. This was his chance to continue living normally! There was only one thing reminding him from that day and that thing’s red optics stared right at him.

”So, uh, we are you two heading? The bar is closed now just so you know, so there won’t be many drinks now and so on? Do Rodimus, Ultra Magnus or Megatron perhaps know about her so no one starts wrestling for their lives again…? We wouldn’t want that happening again!” Swerve tried to crack a joke of the situation as a sad excuse to cover his slight nervousness.

”I was asking Rodimus, Megatron and Ultra Magnus to come and see her, but she wandered outside while I had my back turned. Might as well take her straight to them. Wanna join us? You can show them that Blazy is completely harmless!” Brainstorm asked as he grabbed giant femme’s helm and dragged her down to look at Swerve.

The metallurgist shivered, not really wanting to have anything to do with the former monster, but the way Brainstorm was looking at him meant that if he was going to refuse then the flier would manipulate him one way or another to join them. With a heavy sigh, he nodded. ”Fine, I’ll come, but I won’t be happy about it!”

”Awesome!” Brainstorm squealed and started pushing Swerve towards the bridge. Blazebite walked close behind them, making Swerve feel like she was there to make sure he wouldn’t escape.

When they entered the bridge, all eyes were on them. Swerve could see Rodimus’ optics widen when he saw the pitch black giant hovering over minibot and flyer, Megatron’s optics flickered and Ultra Magnus’ lips tightened.

Swerve swallowed as he and Brainstorm walked in, but when it came to Blazebite’s turn to enter, she actually had to squat down to make it in. She was halfway inside when she straightened up and accidentally banged her helm straight into door’s hinge, hard enough to create a huge dent on it.

Swerve was scared by the sound and jumped far away from the Brainstorm and his guinea pig, only to see the big femme crouching on the ground and holding her helm. The minibot was shocked to see that Blazebite was shaking, her armor rattling against itself. Rodimus, Megatron, Ultra Magnus, and Swerve shared a confused look with each other, but Brainstorm was horrified.

”Oh frag!” The flyer cursed and just as soon as he said that, Blazebite started to sob and then outright cry. It started with a couple quiet hiccups that evolved into crying and wailing out loud. Her screams of pain pierced through every mech’s audials like the spikes DJD used to torture their prisoners. Couple cubes that were holding energon shattered under her voice and the captains appeared to be worried that her crying could even crack ship’s windows.

”Brainstorm, make her stop!” Ultra Magnus ordered over her screeching, but Swerve doubted that he heard him. Heard or not, but the scientist quickly sprinted to Blazebite and started to pat and pet her.

”Shh shh shhh!” Brainstorm shushed, but to make her hear him he almost had to yell. ”It didn’t hurt, you’re a big girl…! You just got scared, didn’t you? Didn’t you?”

Blazebite was still crying, but she stopped screaming her helm off and just cried quietly by herself now. Swerve and others sighed in relief and they lowered their hands. Brainstorm made her look at him, her red coolant dripping optics locking with his golden optics.

”Hey now, look at you! You’re a big and strong girl! Watch!” Brainstorm patted the top of her head, minding her horn crown. ”See? You’re fine! Big girls don’t cry when they destroy something! They cry when they’re disciplined for destroying something!”

Brainstorm kept talking her through her little fit, but more he blabbered nonsense the more she calmed down. Blazebite finally stopped crying and only sniffled and occasionally hiccupped as she tried to wipe her optics clear. After she calmed down enough to move, Brainstorm helped her up on her pedes and walked her to captains and Ultra Magnus.

”Captains, Magnus and Swerve, may I introduce you to Blazebite! Blazy, these two are our captains and this is their right-hand! Whatever they say, you must do it, unless I say otherwise!”

”Brainstorm.” Ultra Magnus warned.

”Never mind, you do what they say.”

Blazebite looked Brainstorm quizzically and slowly moved her gaze to three most powerful mechs in whole Lost Light. She looks at Rodimus for a long time, probably intrigued by his bright paint job and flames, but once their optics meet she’s taken aback by the suspicious glare Rodimus was giving her.

She looked over at Ultra Magnus and she was immediately intimidated by his size, even if she was bigger than he was. His dead serious look also frightened her. Blazebite actually backed up behind Brainstorm’s back.

If she thought Rodimus or Ultra Magnus was bad when she was in for a surprise when her optics landed on Megatron. The former warlord didn’t make any attempt to hide his gruff appearance or ever so sweet personality. One look from the grey mech and Blazebite whined like a kicked puppy and kneeled, trying to hide her big frame behind scientist and pressed her face against his back. The sight reminded Swerve a little bit of old Cybertronian cartoons where characters would try to hide behind something smaller than themselves.

The trio of mechs in charge looked at each other in confusion and then at Brainstorm and Blazebite behind him.

”Is it… afraid of us?” Rodimus asked.

”SHE, Rodimus. It’s a she.” Megatron said and looked at her slumped form. ”And she appears to be at least intimidated by us.”

”A great change since our first meeting when it was another way around.” Ultra Magnus noted and Rodimus scoffed. ”Speak for yourself, I was never scared! Not even once!”

Megatron rolled his optics. ”Whatever you say Rodimus.” Then he turned back to Brainstorm who was gently petting Blazebite’s head, minding her horns again. ”What have you learned from her?”

”Nothing that I haven’t already told you. She doesn’t hold any memories from her former life in the wild and she’s as clueless as a sparkling, but you probably noticed that already!”

Everybody nodded and shared a look between each other before looking at Brainstorm again. ”What is your plan of proceeding with her?”

Brainstorm shrugged. ”I don’t know, but I have many ideas! I could start by teaching her the basics of lasers, then time and space continuum, then—!”

”NO! No more time shenanigans! No more! We had enough of that when you pulled your latest time travel stunt!” Rodimus said and stomped his pede on the floor, scaring Blazebite. ”As your captain, I’m ordering a proper Autobot raising for her and you are in charge of making sure she doesn’t turn out as crazy as you!”

”You’re asking me to do the impossible and I know a lot from impossible, I do it all the time, but this is beyond my brilliant abilities! She’s bound to grow into a genius mastermind like me!” Brainstorm screamed.

Yeks, Swerve wasn’t sure if he wanted another Brainstorm, A GIANT Brainstorm, running around the ship and creating crazy and extremely dangerous weapons. Scratch that, he was sure he didn’t want that. He had to do something!

”Not to bother, too much at least, but I have an idea, small, yeah, but it’s still an idea, right, ain’t it?” Swerve spoke after a silence too long for him. He regretted it immediately as everyone turned to look at him and not like he hated attention, but Blazebite was also staring at him and it made him nervous.

”Uuuh, why don’t we all participate in her raising? I mean, there are many great guys all over the ship and they could all help her grow! Like, Velocity could teach her first aid, Nautica can teach her to dance, Rung could help her to listen, Chromedome and Rewind would make a great couple and Skids! Skids could teach her anything!” Swerve put extra weight on other mechs on the ship, as in, not him!

Everyone seemed to think about it. After a good moment of silence, Rodimus smacked his fist against his hand and smiled. ”That’s a good idea! Everyone get to take turns with her and teach her things! Since it was your idea Swerve, you get to start!”

”Wait, what!? T- that’s not what I meant, not at all!”

”Don’t be so modest Swerve! If I remember right, you didn’t even have a roommate ever since Red Alert left! It’s perfect! She gets to learn and you get a roommate you always wanted!”

No! This is not what Swerve wanted! He wanted to be as far away from the former monster as he could be, not live with it!

”Rodimus, you’re ignoring the fact that Blazebite held Swerve as a hostage. This isn’t easy for Swerve.” Ultra Magnus said.

Swerve sighed in relief. He could always trust Ultra Magnus to be the voice of reason. He wouldn’t let the minibot go through anything that could further damage his mental health or make his trauma any worse.

”I agree. Swerve must first be fine with this.” Megatron declared. Primus bless Megatron and how he was the smart captain. Swerve never felt happier to have the former Decepticon as his captain.

”I think he should start taking regular psychiatric meetings with Rung to speak about things that occurred at Ovika 1.5 and to overcome them.”

Swerve took it back. As much as he might have needed some alone time with Rung, he didn’t want it to be about Ovika 1.5! It would be far too embarrassing for him to talk about!

”N- no, I couldn’t, I don’t want to bother other, besides I don’t have time, I have a bar to tend at nights and daily shifts around the ship and—!”

”Your health, just like every other crew member’s, is important to us. I will personally arrange every other day meeting with Rung after breakfast for you to take. You don’t need to worry about time at Rung’s office, you can take all the time you need to heal as long as it doesn’t disturb other crew members.” Ultra Magnus said as he walked up to Swerve and put his hand over metallurgist’s shoulder.

Swerve was heartbroken. ”But I—!”

”This is an order and there are no objections.” The blue giant said and the minibot knew it was the end of the conversation. ”To help you overcome what happened, Blazebite is going to join your sessions under Rung’s supervision. With Brainstorm’s permission, he will prepare a kit for her and she will move to your quarters tomorrow.”

Everyone turned to look at Brainstorm and Blazebite. The scientist was left without attention for too long and was now sulking at the side with the big femme poking carefully his wing in childlike fascination.

”Brainstorm?”

The flyer glanced other mechs over his shoulder and when he realized that he had all the attention in the room again, he bolted.

”Of course! I make sure everything is ready by tomorrow! I only want what’s best for Blazy! That, and I want to do routine check-ups on her every three days! Nothing serious, but great success for science!”

Swerve was horrified. He was going to live with a giant mech that kidnapped him, orally pleasured him and nearly killed his friends. What force on space could swear to him that she wouldn’t one day regain her memories and go on a rampage!?

Ultra Magnus, Rodimus, and Megatron changed couple words with Brainstorm as Swerve thought about every horrible outcome if Blazebite went wild. But then he thought about it harder and he realized that nothing bad could happen!

There were over two hundred mechs in Lost Light, all of them able to take care of themselves and protect others. She couldn’t possibly beat all of them! Swerve sighed in relief as he calmed down and Brainstorm prepared to leave the bridge. Just as minibot was about to smile for the first time that day, Blazebite gave him a curious look as she was walking past him, going after the scientist.

”Swee…?”

And with that, all the reassurance was blasted into space dust.

Swerve and his stupid big mouth.