#Video Review: Gone is the Day

[thejoyofviolentmovement]

New Video: Italian Shoegazers Kodaclips Share Brooding and Stormy "Gone is the Day"

New Video: Italian Shoegazers Kodaclips Share Brooding and Stormy "Gone is the Day" @S9Recordings @_agiantleap

Cesena, Italy-based shoegazers Kodaclips formed in late 2021 by four friends, who each came from a different musical and artistic background ranging from psych rock, stoner rock and prog rock. Drawing from and meshing the sounds of their own backgrounds, shoegaze’s second wave and the Italogaze scene, the Italian quartet bring a new take and approach on shoegaze that frequently sees them…

[everygame]

Days Gone (PS4)

Developed/Published by: Bend Studio / Sony Interactive Entertainment Released: 26/4/2019 Completed: 05/05/2023 Completion: Beat it. Trophies / Achievements: 48%

Two in a row here for me getting burned by “it’s not as bad as people say.” I mean, honestly, what is it about that that attracts me? It’s not even successfully contrarian, because you’re really hedging your bets by waiting to be told something isn’t bad before you try and stick your flag in “it’s good actually” territory. Plus, what is it I’m really holding out for? Something that I can class as “not bad” or “quite good”? (And that’s quite good in the British sense.) I mean, is it really worth my time watching a movie like Renfield to think “it’s not as bad as people say” rather than filling in, say, a Kurosawa I haven’t seen?

But of course, you can’t eat Michelin star restaurants every night; sometimes you’re going to want a (impossible) whopper.

The problem with things like Days Gone is that it’s like eating a whopper that’s six miles long. And I know that the Whopper comes in a round bun, so if I wanted a bun that made sense giving it extra length I probably should have gone for the (vegan) chicken royale, but I could probably eat a six mile long vegan chicken royale because they’re brilliant. And they already put about six miles worth of mayo on them.

To dig my way out of that riff… why are games like Days Gone like this? So grotesquely, illogically distended? I know exactly how they pitched this over at Sony HQ. A man walked in and said “What if State of Decay, rather than a game where players generated their own stories, was as relentlessly scripted as The Last of Us. And it played exactly like Red Dead Redemption 2.”

And before the man at Sony could respond the man pitching said “and the horse is a motorbike.”

It’s not a horrible idea, even if the influences are worn so apparently on the game’s sleeves that you almost wonder why you’re bothering. I mean the combat is literally Red Dead Redemption’s right down to the “focus” mechanic, and they’ve even got Red Dead Redemption’s random events and even animal hunting in it (which is crap, and thankfully you never need to bother with it.)

(A big aside here however to note that this is yet another piece of media with anti-wolf propaganda featuring the animals as creatures who attack on sight even though wolves sensibly stay the fuck away from humans. Also being forced to murder some bears in this can fuck off too.)

Anyway. Moment-to-moment, Days Gone plays perfectly well in a textbook case of “it’s not as bad as people say” once you actually get your weapons and bike and character upgraded a bit��� which is another thing I’m going to complain about. What’s the point in having upgrade systems in your game if it just means the first five or ten or however bloody long of your game you’re stumbling about with a character that just feels crap to play? But once you get there–which takes far too fucking long–the shooting is fun enough, driving around is smooth, and you find yourself quite easily locked into the classic open-world “there’s always another box to tick off” loop.

Where it falls down, really, is that there isn’t… always another box to tick off??? The game has a really baffling way of doling out missions meaning that I often had only one mission on the whole map I could do. I actually thought I was completely screwed about a third of the way through this because the only mission I had to do was a motorbike chase and my bike was woefully unequipped because I didn’t have enough “trust” with the camp that would upgrade my bike to actually even really keep up with the enemy I was chasing. Thanks to my incredible skills, of course, I did beat it and then suddenly about six missions all appeared, but for many players that might have been it.

(If you want to hear something ridiculous about the way the game doles out missions, you basically can only get them when you’re riding on your bike outside of the camps, meaning that you’ll be in a camp with nothing to do, drive outside, suddenly get a radio call from the people inside that camp, and have to go right back. I know why they do it–what if you got the radio call while standing in front of the NPC in the camp–but why can’t you just get the whole task on the radio? You drive back and they just tell you what to do! They could have done it over the bloody radio!!!)

The pacing here is just so incredibly off. Trust with camps takes an age to grow because doing a mission might get you (literally) 400 points of the way to 25,000, and handing in bounties or hunting animals gets you like… 3 points each.

Later, of course, you realise it’s this way because the game unlocks its signature experience, “horde hunting” in the endgame, and you’ll be killing so many zombies that you’re swimming in points. However that means you’ve played almost the entire game unlocking almost nothing.

Horde hunting, actually, is the perfect example of how Days Gone just doesn’t quite get it. Hordes are all across the map through the whole game. The game doesn’t introduce the idea that you can defeat them until the end of the game. The hordes that are in the initial areas are smaller–sometimes as few as 25 zombies–and would be perfect to learn from.

The first horde the game expects you defeat, because it’s tied to a mission? Three. Hundred. Zombies.

It is absolutely idiotic. It’s not even a well designed encounter! The second horde you face in the story mode has a very clear path that they can chase you along lined with explosive trucks that kills basically all of them? The “end boss” horde has a train tunnel you can easily funnel them into! 

The thing that should be the most fun and rewarding thing in the game you don’t actually do throughout the game unless you know to do it without the game telling you, so by the time you get to do them, you’re probably too fucking bored of the game to want to. I know I was.

(And even then only the story mission hordes get marked with a life bar, so if you’re facing one randomly early in the game you have no idea if you’re actually completing part of the game until the “horde defeated” dialogue comes up. Which it might not, because there’s no leeway, and if you miss a random straggler or they clip out of the world or something (I did face some geometry issues) you’re fucked. And never mind if you’d like to practice on an earlier easier horde before doing that mission once you discover it, because you’re locked out of the earlier part of the map.)

To finish giving this a kicking, I have to say the Last of Us this ain’t. This has the most ridiculously po-faced and predictable story I’ve seen in a game in a while, mistaking a hero who comes across as a petulant arse as a rebel (well, when he doesn’t come across as unhinged, his breathless bloodlust when entering enemy camps is laughable). There’s too much simplistic edgy shit that the writers mistook for profound (damn… man sure can be inhuman to… man) and the game’s main plot, “Our protagonist is sad because his wife is dead… or is she?” is genuinely embarrassing.

I mean, I don’t know where to start with it. I know the writers would swear blind we’re supposed to be laughing along with the game during a flashback where our hero gets married in a backwards ball cap and his new wife says “Promise to ride me as much as your bike” but every other flashback sequence is so saccharine to cry irony there is beyond disingenuous (and I know it’s a callback.) And the game’s classic open-world rug-pull (there’s more map!) leads to a sequence where no character’s motivations make any sense at all. Why aren’t these characters talking to each other, you wonder? Why did our characters make these decisions in the first place???

I did laugh at the game’s “oh no my best friend is dead” fake out right at the end though. It was like Danny Aiello at the end of Hudson Hawk. “Yeah! That’s probably what happened!”

Speaking of that best friend though, (spoilers) a huge chunk of the game is about how he’s sad about how he’s lost an arm and can never ride a bike again. There’s a mission where the protagonist wants to fix it and I thought “oh, he’s going to find the material to get him a device that will help him control a bike one handed” but instead he… makes him a knife arm.

One armed people can ride motorcycles. This game is so stupid.

Will I ever play it again? There are four post-credit missions that absurdly the game makes you wait 8 in-game days to see all of because I guess they assume you’re having at ton of fun playing it more. I wasn’t, I slept in a bed for eight days and then laughed at the cut-scene promising a sequel that will never come via the silliest cliffhanger I can imagine in context.

Final Thought: The weird thing about Days Gone is that you could easily say to me “well, the reason you didn’t like this that much is that you finished it. You should have just played it till you were bored and then stopped.” Except for the fact that the game doesn’t hit the sweet spot of “not as bad as people say” until you’ve played it for ages to get upgraded and shit. This is another game with a new game+ that seems absolutely insane because why would you want to do everything over again. There’s no reason this campaign wasn’t ten hours long, forcing me to specialise in my first playthrough while keeping the upgrades and improvements flowing at a speedy clip and then letting me play the game again doing different things if I want to. No one wants six miles of whopper. Give me six miles of individual whoppers and I’ll think it’s a bit wasteful but I’ll happily eat a couple and move on with my life.

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[icantalk710]

📱😪

[thebanterboys]

The new Sapnap YouTube upload reminds me of his irl NRG collabs and some of the irl Minecraft related challenges he did before on his channel like the bee video. That being said I think the video was too short. The concept is fine and interesting but I don’t think I got a good sense of the challenge. Also I don’t remember Sapnap cracking that many jokes he was just very matter of fact about it like complaining about how much harder it is to do simple tasks in Minecraft with a Wii remote. I don’t know he didn’t really add anything it felt like it could have been anyone else in his position. I didn’t get enough of Sapnap’s personality. Whether that is due to the editing style, the length of the video, or Sapnap not commentating enough I’m not sure. Also this was filmed in April when he went to North Carolina for the LCS Finals livestream.

[gamescasey]

Maybe I Don’t Get Days Gone

On paper, Days Gone looks like a fresh take on the linear zombie gameplay of The Last of Us. An open and dangerous world, optional side quests and progression outside the main story line, and a variety of zombies that seemed to encourage a diversity of play styles created an optimistic sentiment in an era where every company was trying to replicate the success of The Last of Us and The Walking Dead. Although there were moments where I second guessed my opinion, Days Gone is a feeble attempt at capturing lightning in a bottle the same way The Last of Us did.

Days Gone first piqued my interest when it became a free game on PlayStation Plus, and I’m grateful to this day that I never had to pay for that game. I was thrown for a loop by the IGN review criticizing the story, gameplay, and characters, but I was more interested in the backlash received because of the criticism. Companies hated the game, but players absolutely loved it. I had to know which side of the fence I would land on.

Praise:

Days Gone is really close to being a good game. The opening hour depicts a hardened protagonist in Deacon St. John, who’s emotional complication should have been expanded on throughout the game. The introduction of the Rippers as a loose organization driven mad by the end of the world is super cool. My interest in the shady government organization NERO was high in its introduction. The upgrade systems seemed maybe a little too vast, but by no means a problem. My highest praise for the game comes when they are aware they’re in an emotional moment, specifically Boozer and Deacon’s desperate motorcycle ride to Lost Lake. The moment marinates in song for the occasion and doesn’t feel forced. I wish more of the game was as engaging and well-thought as those ten minutes. The foundation definitely exists for a well-rounded open world zombie game: the world feels alive a lot of the time, the wandering hordes are scary and tense when they appear, and a few of the characters are genuinely interesting. Sometimes the game is good, but the compliments stop there, unfortunately. 

Criticism:

Days Gone plays about as well as the other free PlayStation games. For combat, the options are shoot, bomb, and knife (I’m not including running over zombies, even though it was my favorite). When done stealthily it’s much more enjoyable than open combat. The gun play is very standard: there are a lot of different guns and sometimes ammo becomes an issue. The skill tree feels weird and out of place in a survival game, like they were trying to turn a story-driven open world game into an RPG. Not my cup of tea but there wasn’t really a problem with it. The non-combat gameplay was horrible. Cutscenes were abundant in the worst way, the stealth missions listening to NERO gave me the worst Assassin’s Creed flashbacks, and I had to turn down the motorcycle noises more than once when it was the only thing I was hearing for extended periods. Driving through open areas becomes tedious when you don’t see yourself being scoped down by a random-event sniper in a tree.

Enemy variety was simply a difference in health, which meant each combat mission can be done in the exact same way. The big zombies are annoying simply because I don’t want to expend every ounce of ammo in stock. Every animal fight only involves rolling out of one or two attacks, so even the bears (the “tough” animal) could be fought with the boot knife. Horde combat was close to a success, but the hordes can be cheesed to the point where there’s no reason to do it any other way. Why bother crafting a well-thought plan of attack when I can ride my bike in circles gradually picking off zombies as I go? Sure, it's not fast, but I turn my brain off and listen to the zombie and motorcycle noise as I ride in circles. The bugs that affected the hordes also took me out of the experience, even two years after the game’s release.

I’ve decided that I hate realism in games. I understand that in a real zombie apocalypse (oof) I would run out of gas, my weapons would degrade, and I’d have limited ammunition to work with, but there was nothing more tedious than collecting currency to repair and gas up my bike before every mission, and there was nothing sadder than forgetting to repair a good melee weapon and needing to use the boot knife. Fuck the boot knife. Running out of gas in the open world was one of the most miserable experiences in a game, and having my bike damaged beyond repair because I tried to run over too many zombies had me filled with rage. Why was I being punished for trying to do something fun? Running over zombies was one of the only things I enjoyed while riding to the next mission, so the fact that I would have to watch where I was going instead sucked the joy out of the travel experience.

My main gripe is the story of the game: the well-paced and interesting 30-minute setup is squandered with 10 hours of uninspired, tedious fetch quest missions that reward the player with dialogue. Unfortunately, the dialogue is brutally uninteresting, heavy with ten-second cutscenes, and hilariously voiced. Characters were so poorly voiced that I actively avoided characters when time was allowed for side quests. The ripper storyline was probably the best in the game, and it’s a shame there was a decision to bloat the game with so many more uninteresting plot points. The plot with Deacon’s wife was the most aggravating for me though. I can’t believe you go through so much of the game with the idea that Deacon is this broken man with nothing left to lose only to find out it was all bullshit. I’m so angry thinking about my last shred of empathy leaving my body as Deacon became even less likeable. The vengeance, the struggle, the emotion, all for nothing. The emotion I, as the player, feel when someone in the game talks trash about Sarah, all for nothing. The sentiment, the memorial, the tributes and all the grieving throughout the game, all for nothing.

Conclusion:

Days Gone was bad for me. I don’t think the game is unplayable, and there are a couple things the game does really well, but there is too much about this game that just makes me want to play a better game. If you’re in it for the story, I’d say pick something else.

[esperderek]

I have to have a chuckle at the Screenrant article posted recently about the Galactic Starcruiser, which totally wasn't about Jenny Nicholson's video honest.

In part, because early in Nicholson's video, she talks about how unnatural it is to have your influencers speak in adcopy and copyright rather than the more colloquial nicknames, and how it makes the people speaking about the product seem very insincere and, well, paid off. Because normal humans don't speak that way, but advertising does.

What's the first two lines in this article?

"As a life-long fan of Star Wars, there was nothing quite as exciting as finding out that I would be working on the immersive Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser experience. Located at the Walt Disney World Resort, the Galactic Starcruiser opened on March 1, 2022, and welcomed passengers to board a two-day, two-night cruise through the stars, during which they could live out their own Star Wars adventure."

No one talks like this naturally. No one writes like this naturally.

This is supposed to be your passioned defense of the place you worked at, the people you worked with, and the memories you made along the way. C'mon! Why don't you open with a story, perhaps an anecdote about the best moment you had working there, or the devastation of the day you lost your dream job. We need to feel your humanity! But there's nothing of that here, to the point where you can just hear the TM behind Galactic Starcruiser.

The first half of this article continues in this vein, reading like a press release Disney marketing put out, just with past tense rather than present or future tense:

"Essentially, the Starcruiser experience was a 48-hour movie that passengers were actually a part of. It was all facilitated through the "datapad," which was accessed through the Play Disney Parks app."

"To facilitate the overarching immersive experience and storytelling, the Starcruiser built a jam-packed itinerary for each and every guest that would consist of a variety of important activities: the captain's toast at muster, a bridge training exercise, lightsaber training, and more. These types of events were essential to understanding what was happening, as they would give passengers the chance to interact with characters and build their story. This is why the Starcruiser could never be just a hotel; every part of it was designed for enthusiastic interaction."

Like, c'mon. I used to work in television. I've seen and used adcopy in my former job, and this is some serious adcopy. It honestly wouldn't shock me if the author dredged up some old adcopy they had lying around about the topic and just transferred it over, changing the tense. You're not here to sell us this product, because there is no product to sell. It's gone, it's been gone for a year, you don't have to sell us on IT. Speak about your experiences.

The next part is yet another topic that Jenny Nicholson pointed out, the bad faith excuses that influencers and advertisers made for the extreme price point:

"What many people don't know, however, is that the price included much more than just a room. The passengers' food, park tickets, recreation activities on board, non-alcoholic drinks, and more were all included - with merchandise being one of the few additional costs on board."

Which is absolute bad faith reasoning, especially when there are plenty of other vacation options that are ALSO all-inclusive, but are MUCH cheaper and offer MORE amenities than the Galactic Starcruiser did! Including Disney Cruises, owned by the same company! Seriously, you can go on a halfway decent sounding cruise or all-inclusive resort somewhere warm for, like, a week or two and spend far less than GSC cost.

Then the last part is essentially: "All the workers liked working there and the bad reviews afterwards make the workers who worked on it feel sad. :("

Which, like, companies have been hiding behind that reasoning for ages. Curiously, the author never offers....any reasons or stories. WHY did working on it impact you so much? What set it apart, what were the people like, what did you like about working there, why are you so passionate about it even a year later? There's nothing, just a generic sort of "We worked hard." and "We're sad it's gone." Why? How? What happened? The video you're obviously writing this in response to is filled with personal anecdotes and stories, it's the backbone of the video! Again, you need to give us something to show your humanity!

Especially when you consider that Nicholson repeatedly points out that the only highlight about her experience, the only thing that kept the damn thing going was the workers.

She had nothing but praise for them, and nothing but contempt for the higher ups who wasted and abused that enthusiasm, to the point where one of her last points was "Hey, Disney is basically exploiting labor."

Much like Jenny, I'm also not condemning anyone who had a good time working there. Good! If you were having a good time at work, that's great. If you have good memories about the people, awesome. But I'll note two things:

a) That doesn't meant you weren't being exploited, and

b) That doesn't mean you have to be a useful idiot for the corporation you worked for afterwards.

I'm not conspiracy brained enough to go "Oh, Disney TOTALLY forced this article into being.", because a cursory examination of the author's prior works and such suggests a lifelong passion for Star Wars, she did work at the hotel, and she's a Star Wars Editor (whatever THAT means in this day and age) for Screen Rant. Apparently one of the heads of Screen Rant says that Disney had no hand in it either.

Though, I can see why people would think that way. It READS like a press release, not something a normal human being would write about an experience they feel passionate about.

[starillusion13]

Hi! Your fics are so good! specially the ot8xreader fic 💖💖💖

Can i also request ot8xreader, you suddenly disappeared and they thought you ran away (with their money and jewelries) and betrayef them but in reality one of their female employees leads you to nowhere and tried to kill you (because she is jealous and wants the boys for herself) she make it looks like you ran away to make the boys mad at you but you are laying in hospital bed comatose for months. one of boys/or member of the mafia saw you in hospital when they tried to smuggle medical equipments and report it to ateez.

I hope it make sense 😅 Thank you

You are our Home

Pairing: Mafia! Ateez x f!reader

Genre: Angst, Mafia, Fluff

W.C: 8.2k

Warnings: arguments, regret, trust issues, cheating(?), hints of torture, mention of cuts and wounds(just the pain not detailed), mention of hospital and mafia business and deals, traumas and betrayals, comatose, stroke, nausea, scared, crying, lies. A lot shit is going on in the fic.

Networks: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

Note: Thanks for reading and reblogging. I appreciate all of your reviews and feel free to text me if you want. Spread love to others, not hate. I don’t know what’s up to with the requests coz all are Angst at this point. But I have included fluff here. Clap your hands👏.

“Are you sure she is not home?”

“Seonghwa, I have gone there myself to check the whole place. Even few of her things are missing. Something is not setting right here.” Hongjoong’s impatient voice echoed through the speaker in the room. The members round the table were all attentive to the conversation between the two older ones. “Yeosang is tracking her id but he couldn’t find anything important. And what about San? Did he come back?”

Hearing the question, Seonghwa looked towards Wooyoung who shook his head and the older one sighed before delivering the message to their leader on call. Before hanging up the call, he informed the three members to come back to their office for further discussion about you. They last heard your voice yesterday evening when you were asking them if they would return yesterday or the next day. They didn’t know that the next day, instead of finding you waiting for them at the parking lot, they will be greeted to an empty cabin.

Usually, whenever they go to overseas missions, you pass on it because you intend to maintain all the procedures in the office and home. They respect your thoughts and opinions a lot so they never said anything on those way of thinking. Just like other trips, they bid goodbye to you and they went off to the designated country. When they reached there, you had a video call with them and they assured you that they would return soon—one month would pass in a blink. But maybe something went wrong. With the passing of days, you became distant with them, not picking up their calls or maybe just leaving a short text message ‘I’m busy’ and your close employee friend, Amy supported your side, telling them that the company had some issues ongoing with money and she also sent them all the details where it was always your duty to do it. Generally, they didn’t mind but they were worried for you overworking yourself so they told Amy to look after you. She assured them that she would be always by your side and would manage to do the most of the works.

Today, it was their day of return and last evening hearing your voice over the call made them impatient to come back home soon. They wanted to talk to you a lot but somehow you were not in a mood to hold a long conversation with them and so they didn’t ask you anything much. It was okay because they knew very next moment you will be in their arms and then they will keep you away from workloads for a while. But who knew, you won’t be anywhere in their surroundings.

San slammed the door open and glared at the ones present inside the room. The one who was sitting near the door rolled his eyes, knowing his over-dramatic acts like usual but when he caught his gaze, he could see the fire in his eyes.

Seonghwa raised his brow from the end of the table, “What happened, San?” Wooyoung and Mingi close to him were also watching San shuffling his hairs in anger and threw the glass from the table beside Jongho, who was already annoyed with him from earlier.

“Where is Hongjoong?”

Wooyoung was quick to reply, “He was on a call with us almost an hour back. They went to our home and then they will stop by the store to pick up some packages. They will be back soon.” Mingi nodded and went back to check some important news, displaying on his phone screen.

“Who else has the access to the shared account?”

“What do you mean by that, San? You know we don’t use that account and it’s only get handled by y/n. after she returns, you can ask her about it if it has any problem.” Seonghwa said it calmly but he could see the impatient and a flick of rage in the man’s eyes. San again picked up a glass but got stopped by Jongho, “don’t throw it again.”

They glared at each other before gulping down the water and he turned towards the oldest one.

“did she tell anything about transacting large amount of money? You know the account is empty as well as the spare account doesn’t have any money. The locker with the expensive jewels in her cabin is also empty. Why does she need so much of money all of a sudden?”

Everyone was shocked on hearing him. You needed money and for what? Nobody had any sort of hint that maybe you were going through some rough days, they would have consulted things with you. They would have tried to make you relax but no—you kept everything to yourself and didn’t tell anything to them. You were in some trouble and the thought itching their mind to ask you about it.

“her phone is still switched off.” Jongho sighed and sat on the couch beside Mingi who glanced at the clock.

San sat beside Wooyoung, “What’s even going on? There is no news of her whereabouts. She is not picking up her calls and now all these moneys and jewelleries are missing. I want her to explain me everything right now.”

“San, calm down. I am sure she has her own reasons for this.”

“And when do you think will she return, Mingi? Are you sure we are just going to sit and wait for her?”

Before the other could say anything, the door slammed open and Hongjoong entered furiously with Yeosang and Yunho trailing behind him. Neither of them appeared any less frustrated than the leader. Wooyoung was still staring at the door until it got closed by Yunho. He sighed and looked away—he thought you might enter the room with them and then would surprise them with a silly joke and the rest of the day will end up with you getting scolded but in the end you knew it was because they care for you.

Where are you?

“What’s the news, Yeosang?”

Hongjoong sat on his chair and ruffled his hairs, Seonghwa patted his back and looked towards the hacker who was being asked a question by the youngest.

“Nothing Jongho. We can’t find her anywhere. It’s still showing her last location was at the A.T.M and we checked the C.C.T.V but she was pretty normal when entering it and exiting the stall. I don’t why was she there-“

“to withdraw all the moneys from her shared account and the private one.”

Hongjoong raised his brows at San, “why do you think so?”

“Amy showed me all the past transactions from her side. She might not have withdraw all the money in person but has transferred to some other accounts.” He signalled Yeosang to open his laptop and the one was quick in action, “Can you search the accounts that are connected with hers where the money got transferred?”

Yunho scanned the room, “but why did she need such large amount of money? I am pretty sure she would have told one of us if she was in trouble.”

Seonghwa nodded and walked towards the wide large glass window and stared at the city. He was trying to find your location in the chaos of the city, his eyes were roaming everywhere as if he could get a glimpse of you. He was behaving like a lost boy desperate for you to hug him. Maybe he was a the second in command after the most feared mafia leader, Hongjooong--- in the end it’s you with whom they are the real persons, they can be themselves. Tears flowed down his eyes and he didn’t notice that Wooyoung was standing behind him and suddenly patted his back. He himself was fighting the urge not to break down.

Hongjoong glanced at them across the room and sighed.

Mingi put down his phone and the typing of the keyboard was heard along with some frustrated groans. Jongho spoke up, “San told us that the jewelleries are also missing from her lockers.”

“What? Even her expensive items from her room were also missing.” Hongjoong was surprised that you were missing for so many hours and then all those money and other expensive items were missing too.

Yeosang shut his laptop with a groan and glared at the device. San beside him asked what happened but the news they got was not what they were expecting.

“She has been transferring money for last 6 months and for the last one month, she has spent money on some expensive trips and buying properties. The two accounts where the moneys are being transferred are highly protected with firewalls. I can’t access to it. It only seems like it’s been handled and protected by hackers from other mafia groups.”

Mingi furrowed his brows, “mafia groups? Why will she be transferring money to other mafias?”

Hongjoong pocked his cheek with the tongue, “she doesn’t usually spend such amount of money at once. And according to her schedule, she was pretty much busy with her work-loads.”

“yeah, Amy was always the one asking us if we needed any kind of help and giving us updates on her because she was busy with some events outdoor. Can you give me her schedule for once?”

Yeosang nodded and searched for the schedules Amy sent him and delivered it to Yunho who was quick to open it and read the routines. His creased eyebrows got noticed by Hongjoong, “what happened, Yunho?”

The man shook his head before turning the laptop from Yeosang towards him from across the table and quickly typed something. Everyone was watching his actions and Jongho was peeking at the screen from beside him, “why are you searching these companies?”

Hongjoong raised his hand to let him do his work. After a couple of minutes, Yunho clenched his jaw and shut the screen before turning towards the leader, “I was right.”

“what?”

“these companies: first FACT CHECK enterprise didn’t have any events because they were overseas with us, next ORANGE FATE didn’t held any events for last few weeks and SEVENTEEN has no updates. This only means she didn’t have anything according to her schedules and some same schedules are repeated again and again. Without getting anything solved, everything is appearing to be more puzzled.”

Jongho patted Yunho’s back and turned towards the leader, “we should call Amy and ask her.” The leader nodded and Mingi quickly dialled her number to ask her come to their room. Seonghwa and Wooyoung also returned to their places and waited for her.

As soon as Amy got the call, she skipped towards the room and entered the door with a worried expression. The boys looked at her and noticed her worriedness but Hongjoong asked her not to panic and let her sit on the chair beside Yeosang where you were supposed to sit in other times.

She sat on your chair.

She smirked to herself. Second step achieved, including her in the meetings. First step was already going pretty well when they were calling from overseas to know the daily updates of their place from her---apparently you were busy.

Sitting down slowly, she clasped her hands and Yunho noticed her heavy breaths. They all turned towards the leader when he spoke up, “where were you all these days?”

She bit her lips and tugged her hair behind her ear. She nervously glanced at everyone when Jongho offered her a glass of water. She thanked him and quickly gulped it down, taking few breaths she proceeded, “I-I was working here in the office and then keeping you all updated.”

“where was she? You were not with her?”

“y-yeah I was with her but only when she was inside the building. She was always busy outside.”

“where did she go?”

“the events. I don’t know anything in details because everyday she was late to office, complaining that how tired she is and then going out frustrated. Trust me, I thought you all should know about it because why she will tell me anything.”

“do you know why she needed money? Was she in trouble?”

She paused before glancing at them and then looked down, “n-no. I don’t know. If this was known by me. I would have told you all about it.” She started sobbing and looked up, “I am worried for her. I hope you all find her soon and I will get my friend back.”

Yeosang patted her back and everyone felt bad seeing her cry because she was really close with you and you enjoyed her company so much that they could feel her loneliness and concern when you were missing. She excused herself and Jongho went with her because they didn’t want others to know about the situation yet and she needed someone by her side because of her being oversensitive.

.

.

.

The next two weeks they had done everything possible to reach your location but you were nowhere as if your presence was vanished from the universe. There were no sign of kidnapping because there was no call from any mafia groups, no threats from any rivals and everything was normal and in place without you. It seemed like you never existed but yeah, the employees started asking about your absence and that led to them getting hold of the reality. The news was quick to spread everywhere, to every corner of the city.

Amy became closer to them and she was handling all your works. Them consulting few things with her, of course it was a great achievement for her. At some point, some members were losing hope to find you and becoming reckless. The leader was having a hard time in controlling them but he knew the emotions and conditions of his family because he was on the same boat.

With the passing of days, the chances of getting you back was disappearing and one more thing they were noticing, the strange behaviour of Amy. She was often seen zoning out and flinching to sudden people. They realised she was very traumatized with your disappearance. But a sudden parcel flipped everything upside-down.

Amy was sitting down with the parcel in front of her on the table and them scattered all around the room. Some were in disbelief and some were furious. She was crying and with shaky hands holding and looking at the things which they found out from the parcel.

The leader was hovering on her from the side and glaring, “Amy, What are you hiding from us? Tell me now before I lose my patience.”

She kept quiet and staring at the pictures. You were laughing with a boy, receiving gifts from him, partying at a club with him and kissing and also, you were on a trip for a week with him. It was definitely you, there was no editing and the details were pointing out that you were really not present at home or at office on those days and it only made it clear that there was lot going on behind their back.

“Amy! Speak up!”

She flinched and wiped the tears.

“she was meeting this boy everyday.”

The boy was familiar to them, Lee Heesung from Orange Fate Limited. They often had meetings and events with them. They were not on a term of rivals but were on an agreement of allies because of their head departments.

Seonghwa said darkly, “Continue.” San clenched his fist with every words coming from her mouth.

“she told me not to say you all anything that she was……she was cheating behind you all. She was with you because you all are too naïve that you trust her so much. She threatened me that she would kill me if I go against her. I couldn’t do anything because you all would have never trusted me but I tried to tell you so many times. I am only explaining everything today because its been a month that she has gone missing. But actually, she was planning to run away for a while.” She started weeping and Mingi comforted her. He was hesitant to be so close to her but why he should feel guilty when you didn’t think twice before doing such a thing to them.

They were sick worried for you only to get a parcel, maybe from their ally base that you were with their leader all these times. Yunho scoffed hearing the explanation and Jongho glanced at him before sighing and switched on his lock screen where he was hugging you from behind and both smiling at Yeosang who was behind the camera clicking the picture. A tear drop fell on the screen, just above your face.

He hated himself for missing you.

Mingi took her outside because she was scared and blabbering nonsense and was convincing them that she would bring you back and make you apologize. She explained everything how you were not busy due to workload but because you were going out with your boyfriend. The rage was building inside them with the thought that what more you had done with him other than kissing behind their back. All these past months when you were intimated with them, actually you were just using them as a stress reliever and maybe you were complaining about them to Heesung when you were making love with him.

Yeosang curled his fingers, nails scratching the leather of the chair’s armrest.

Woooyung asked his leader, “Are we going to bring her back? We going to-“

“We are going nowhere. She is not our concern anymore. If she chose to go away, to find love in someone else then let it be.” San growled.

Wooyoung shook his head and with pleading eyes he stared at the leader. He wanted to hear his thoughts and he was sure he won’t agree with San but he was wrong.

“No more discussion on y/n. she was not missing but enjoying her life.” He scoffed, “I wanted to believe that these all are wrong but no. it had to be true. Why had it to be true? She betrayed us. She played with out trust. There is nothing to keep up with this conversation.”

He leaned back into his chair and ordered everyone to leave. They were hesitant to leave because each one of them were sure that if they went off to their individual ways, they would end up doing something worse. But why should they harm themselves? It was you who betrayed them and then ended up breaking their hearts.

If someone had to regret, IT’s You.

Seonghwa halted at the door and looked back towards the leader who was glaring at your picture on the wall, “are you sure we are not going to get her?”

“Never. We are not going to trust her again. Let’s pretend we never met her. And Leave.”

.

.

.

Days went on and turned into months and they all were emotionless as if they only knew their missions and going back home, commanding others and then going back to their own life. No extra conversation with anyone. They even became distant among themselves and Amy was enjoying this a lot because afterall she was the who was spending most of the times with them, delivering the messages and information to them and their individual opinions to each other via her.

Jongho knocked at the leader’s bedroom door. It was noon and none of them went to office building, only Seonghwa went for an hour to check the updates and returned early. Everybody was at home but in their individual room, Jongho glanced at the door between Yunho and Wooyoung’s room. It was locked. In other times, he would often find music blasting from your room and then finding you dancing like a maniac.

“what do you need?”

“the medical kit is empty and I need to treat Yeosang’s wound from yesterday.”

“the ones in the cabinets in the upper rack?”

“nothing.”

Hongjoong sighed and pull off a jacket before exiting his room and signalled him to follow.

“where are we going?”

He stopped and glared, “of course to the base hospital. I definitely know other hospitals will freak out seeing us.” Jongho nodded to his statement and followed him.

Arriving to the hospital, they straight way went to the cabin where its pretty usual for them to appear often.

"Hongjoong?" The said man stopped in his track on hearing someone called him.

It was their rival gang NCT’s member standing in front of him. They never had anything against each other but they were allies with someone who was apparently their enemy.

"Mark. What are you doing here?" Jongho asked in a monotone voice to which the boy before him licked his lips.

"Dude don't think I'm here for any sort of mission. I work here as a part time worker like my leader forced us to keep a normal citizen profile as well, might help us in some ways."

"Why are you saying all these to us? I'm sure your leader won't be happy to see you being friendly with us." Hongjoong smirked.

Mark nodded and glanced at his surroundings expression turning towards them, "I didn't know y/n was in relationship with you all."

"What are you trying to say?"Jongho inquired him and he sighed.

"Hongjoong I heard that you guys were searching y/n but I didn't know how to reach to you guys because my leader strictly told me not to contact any one of you."

"What are you upto?"

"Do you know what happened to her?"

Hongjoong scoffed and glared at him, "don't interfere in our matters. It's all over between us and her so I would like you to get the fuck out of my way."

"So you trusted some bitch?" now it's Mark who was glaring.

"What do you mean?"

Mark held his wrist and dragged him towards a room. "what are you doing?"

"Please come with me. It's for your own sake."

Both of them hesitantly followed him and when he opened the door, they were greeted by the worst view. Their breathing stopped for a moment, they froze with the time. It felt like they were dreaming and oblivious to himself, Jongho stepped forward towards the bed.

IT’s You.

You were sleeping peacefully on the bed.

"What happened to her?" Hongjoong was holding back his tears and clenched his fist. Tears welped in his eyes. He was shocked to see you lying in front of him on a hospital bed with a white sheet covering your body and you were connected to the machines beside you. His eyes followed the bandages wrapped in different places which were visible to his eyes. He didn’t want to think anymore about it. He was clenching his fist that all these months he blamed you and thought that you betrayed them was just to find you in the hospital.

Did Heesung hurt you?

“She is comatose for last few months.” Mark stated, eyes fixed on you.

Hongjoong was glaring at you. Atleast at this moment he thought had it better if you were somewhere enjoying your life rather than being in coma.

Jongho who was kneeling beside your bed caressed your hand, “Why? Why is she in this condition?”

“That day when I was returning from the mission, she stumbled in front of my car. Dude she is not here because of that, I was not driving. Me and my friend were just chatting by the side of the road when she came to us running frantically. She was so scared and covered in blood.” Mark licked his lips and shook his head when he remembered the day.

“who are you? Why did you help her?” the leader asked the question but didn’t glance to his direction.

“I know it’s weird but we are childhood friends. After I joined the mafia gang and for the sake of my leader, I had to keep distance with her so that she might not get in trouble with this dark life but somehow she ended up with you all.” He sadly chuckled.

He continued, “I searched about her when I brought her to the hospital. I found out that she was related to you all and the first thought that came to my mind was that you did this to her. But then when I found that you all are searching for her, I was confused for a while but then gradually came to know the truth. Somebody has tortured her and her body was lacking nutrients and due to the deficiency of iron, she got a stroke.”

“torture? Who did this?” the leader was losing his patient with each word coming out his mouth.

“when I brought her here, she was conscious for few days. Yeah, I strictly told others that they should not let anyone to know about her and Johnny is her doctor. She was repeating some things like ‘Amy please don’t do this’  ‘I want to go home’  ‘help me’  ‘I will go away but please don’t hurt me’. according to the reports she is in vegetative state right now, she got a stroke when one day she was thrashing around things.”

A ring interrupted their conversation. Hongjoong was lost with your view and the words from Mark were sinking inside him. He was still processing that you were in front of him and on top of that, you were in a miserable state.

Somebody tortured you? Amy?

Mark broke his trance and urged him to pick up the call.

“where are you? We need to treat the wound and there is nothing in here.”

“Seonghwa, come to the base hospital and bring others too.”

“What’s going on?”

“Just do what I said. You will know when you reach here.”

“I think hearing some familiar voices or maybe something that can trigger the stimuli can bring her back to senses so I hope for the best. She is attentive to some responses and you all are my last hope.”

Mark patted his back and excused himself. He ordered some guards outside the door not to allow anyone inside the room except few members whom he will be sending soon.

Hongjoong stepped forward and with slow steps, he sat beside your bed. His shaky hands caressed your head, tears fell on you when he planted a kiss on your forehead. Jongho was still holding your hand on the other side and was watching your slow breathings.

“y/n……please wake up.” Hongjoong’s voice cracked and he didn’t know what to say anymore. He was angry, upset, hurt and moreover, he was dying inside. He couldn’t afford to see you in that condition.

They waited for a while. They were whispering so many things and tears flowing down their eyes continuously. They were lost after seeing your condition. The leader was confused that why someone had to treat you in this way when you did nothing in the first place. He was feeling to rip off the machines from you so that he could hug you and shield you from all the negativities that might be lingering around you.

The door slammed open and several footsteps could be heard entering the room when suddenly all the sounds paused.

“y/n?” Wooyoung was quick to run towards your sleeping figure, he pushed aside his leader and hugged your body, resting himself on top of you. He was excited but also confused after seeing you in that condition.

 You were laying pale and fragile upon a sterile hospital bed. Concern etched deep lines of worry upon their faces as they gathered around you, their hearts heavy with fear and uncertainty.

Seonghwa glanced at you and then towards Hongjoong who was not even taking off his eyes from you. “what is this Hongjoong? Why is she here?”

He didn’t reply and when he turned towards Jongho, he stood up to give space to Mingi so that he could stand beside your bed. The youngest was not willing to leave your hand but still others needed to see you as well so he stepped towards Seonghwa, “she is in coma for last few months. Somebody had kept her locked up and tortured her.”

“what?” San glared at him. “what are you saying, Jongho? Who?”

“I don’t know-“

“Amy.” Hongjoong stated the name blankly and stared at Seonghwa. “Are you sure?”

“she was scared of her before she went into coma so that only proves she has something to do with her.”

Wooyoung’s grip tightened around you. Yeosang was beside him who was trying to comfort him but also wishing for you to wake up. He couldn’t believe his eyes that you were in front of him. He could feel your skin against his fingertips. Your faint breathing could be heard and it was the only hope, the only belief that you were with him, with them.

Yeosang caressed your hand and pressed a soft kiss, “y/n, look we are here. Wake up. We all are here to protect you. No one can hurt you. Please look at me, y/n .” he started sobbing and buried his face into the hold where your fingers were getting wet with his tears.

Mingi caressed your head, “y/n… we are here to take you home, doll. Please open your eyes. Try to hear my voice I am here.”

Wooyoung traced his fingers over the bandages and the healing cuts on your face. The beautiful face, the soft skin which always felt amazing against his and he never missed a place to kiss every inch of it. Now its all covered with cuts and bandages. “baby please wake up. Please look at me, talk to me.”

Three of them were crying surrounding you and the rest of them closely behind them were hoping to see your eyes fluttering open and to tell them what you went through. They were cursing themselves for once believing that you left and betrayed them.

They were hating themselves for believing that.

Yeosang pulled back Wooyoung and both of them sat on the couch to the side, the younger one was sobbing in his hold. Hongjoong nodded towards Seonghwa and the older one sat on the stool beside your head and held your hand, the leader stood behind him.

“y/n…can you hear me? Love we are all here for you. Look we found you.” Seonghwa gulped the lump, smiled sadly and continued, “We will get through this together. You need to wake up for me.” Hongjoong placed a hand on his shoulder to encourage him to keep going.

San moved forward, he was observing things from a distance and was silently praying all the Almighty to wake you up, to do a miracle so that he could see your eyes and smile again. Mingi stepped back to give him space and he kneeled beside you and took your hand in his trembling ones, the needles from the iv-drip and other machines piercing your skin and he was holding back the urge to rip that off because it might be hurting you. “Y/n……”

“I can't bear to see you like this. Please, wake up...please…I love you so much" he mumbled and planted a kiss on the knuckles.

“you need to see yourself. You are strong enough to come all these ways alone. You can fight more. You are no more alone, we are here for you.” Seonghwa pronounced every word distinctly so that you could hear them, understand him and atleast process slowly that you were not alone but surrounded by your loved ones. Your family.

Jongho slowly said to them, “Mark told us if we trigger a memory then she might wake up. She is responsive to some stimuli earlier. I don’t know what to do but please do something and wake her up. If not then she will be under more risk.”

“No! she won’t.” Wooyoung shouted and again stood beside you, “y/n, don’t give up on us like this. You cant leave us. I wont be able to live if I lose you. Wake up please.”

Yeosang stood beside him, voice cracking “ you are our heart y/n. just tell me what you need, I will do anything for you but don’t leave me please.”

Hongjoong gulped, “Y/n…remember the day we met, those happy moments which we cherish. I still think about them everyday even after the day you were missing. Please we have so much to do in our life. We love you.”

Mingi’s voice wavered, “We'll be here for you every step of the way, I'll fight this battle with you, y/n. Together, as one...nine makes one family.”

Your index finger moved a little in San’s hold. He was surprised, his breath hitched. He looked towards everyone but others gave him a confused look. he was smiling and holding your hand tightly and glancing between you and them.

“guys she can hear us. Her finger is moving.” His gaze landed on the last one who haven’t said anything after they had arrived. He was fuming but crying and San knew that he could do anything if he was quiet. “Yunho…”

The sterile white walls of the hospital room surrounded him, the heavy air which he breathing was filled with different emotions. But the only emotion that was tugging in every corner was the faint ray of hope.

Hope for you to wake up.

Hearing his name, slow and heavy steps took him to your side. Seonghwa who was still whispering some old happy memories paused and moved back a bit. Yunho stared at your face. The memory of you smiling at him and laughing at his jokes. You acting like a baby and always promising that he would protect you like your big saviour. But he didn’t. he broke his promise. He left you alone to fight and then you were fighting with your death.

He will kill every person who did this with you.

“Y/n, You're my reason to keep going. I…we won't let you go. Stay with me. I love you, Pearl.”

The familiar voices echoing inside your head.

Their voices.

Your family.

Nine makes one family.

You clutched San’s hand but quickly loosened the grip. You repeated the action. Their eyes not leaving a second of your form. Your dry lips parted slightly to seep through some air. The oxygen mask felt like suffocating the air.

Slowly, like tendrils of fog dissipating under the morning sun, consciousness began to seep back into your mind.

Your eyelids fluttered, heavy with the weight of slumber, as you struggled to orient yourself to the surroundings. The rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor echoed in their ears, a steady cadence that anchored all to the present moment.

With a groan, you attempted to shift your body, the sensation of stiffness and lethargy weighing you down like an anchor. Your limbs felt foreign, disconnected from the mind, as if you were a marionette being manipulated by invisible strings. Few deep cuts and wounds stinged, you whimpered at the pain.

As your vision cleared, you became aware of the figures standing by your bedside, silhouettes bathed in the soft glow of the overhead lights. their faces had masks of concern as they observed your awakening. You couldn’t place the names with the faces.

Who are they? Do you know them? Why are you here? Wait…where are you?

You twisted your neck to every direction, an air of suffocation engulfing you and the memory of being locked up, bloods, wounds, cut and crying flashed in front of your eyes.

“baby…” Seonghwa’s voice made you look at him. Your eyes were filled with horror. They will hurt you again. An adrenaline hit you which made you feel to run away and save yourself. You were trapped and you needed to get out. You got rid of the oxygen mask.

“no…no…please don’t kill me…I..” you pushed yourself up, groaning because you felt your lethargic body was heavy with tons of weight, you wanted to move but still couldn’t. you started crying and retreated your hand back when you felt someone was holding it. San left your hand when he saw fear in your eyes. You were confused, scared and tired but still attempted to make a run.

Wooyoung’s voice choked with emotion, “baby you are awake…”  you shook your head and  twisted your body but Yunho was quick to make you still and you groaned when the wound in your waist sent a wave of pain throughout your body.

“please…leave me…I want to go home please…” you were crying and wiggling weakly under his hold.

Yunho was standind straight and engulfing your upper body tightly in his hold to let you cry and shout but he couldn’t let you go away when surprisingly he got you back from the edge of death, “shh shhh…Y/n, don’t cry please. I am here. No one is going to hurt you.”

Seonghwa patted your head, “we are going to take you home.”

“no…no…they  they are waiting for me. Joong…I want to go to him…Hwa…Woo…please please.”

“baby, I am Woo. I’m right here.” You glanced at him. a memory of you fooling around and laughing with him flashed in front of him.

You shook your head and Yunho pushed your head against his chest and placed a kiss on top, “it’s me, Yunho. Love calm down.”

When you didn’t stop shaking, he held your face and made you look into his eyes, he was holding back his tears and still smiled at you, “I am here. Right in front of you. You are safe with me. Your Yuyu is with you.”

You stared at him and your actions slowed down. He shifted and sat on the edge and pulled you closer. “Yunho…” hearing his name from your mouth, he pulled you closer and caressed your sides, lulling you to calm down.

“yes, it’s me. we all are here.”

San placed himself on the other side edge of the bed to caress your back. Even though, they were sad seeing you vulnerable but somehow a relief settled inside them that you were awake. You were with them.

“Calm down for me. will you?”

Hearing his soothing voice, you clutched his shirt. Your tears were soaking it but he didn’t care about that, he just wanted you to not feel scared of them.

They knew it was a burden for you to take in your surrounding after waking up from coma after months. You took deep breaths and he could feel your trembling body calming down.

“Y/n. How are you feeling?” Hongjoong’s concerned voice echoed in the air, reaching your ears. Several nights you spent calling out his name, hoping for him to save you but you were alone. Your mind slowly and slowly settling down and you got a grip of your current situation.

You looked down to see yourself wrapped in a hospital gown.

You were in hospital.

“paining. It’s paining everywhere.” You mumbled and stared at Hongjoong. He stepped forward and softly cupped your face, giving you a warm smile.

“it will go away. You will be fine soon.” He kissed your forehead. Seonghwa stood beside him with a bright smile, his presence itself was giving you a blanket of comfort adding to the warmth from Yunho was hugging you.

Hwa nodded and removed the strand of hairs from your face and tugged them neatly behind your ears, “my pretty baby. Do you need something?”

You moved your head up and down slowly, he urged you to speak, “I..I want water.” He didn’t waste a second, quickly turning on his heel, walked towards the table to get a glass of water. You felt your throat was burning dry and you coughed.

San patted your back, “its okay. Take it slow. You are fine.”

Hongjoong wiped your eyes, “don’t cry, baby. We are here for you. Always.”

Wooyoung sat beside your legs and ran his hands up and down above the blanket. Even though he couldn’t feel your skin against his but he knew you were fine and with him.

You stared at him when Seonghwa gave you the glass, you gulped the water hastily. You coughed when you choked. Yunho and Seonghwa softly scolded you not to rush. Your gaze returned towards Wooyoung, you extended your hand and he intertwined his fingers with yours. Tears fell from your eyes. “you are really here...”

“Yes I am. For you.”

Seonghwa and Hongjoong moved aside to let Mingi and Yeosang in front of your view. They were trying their best to appear happy but they knew with just a blink, you would see them all breaking down. Mingi kissed your nose and gave you a tight hug, “do you want to eat?”

“I don’t know. I want to…go home.” You turned towards Yunho, “please take me home. I don’t want to stay here.” He nodded and wiped your eyes, “shh…we will go okay. We are waiting for the doctor to allow the discharge for you.”

Yeosang cupped your face to bring your attention on him, “we are going to watch movies and we will play tag game. How about that?”

You smiled and their heart melted seeing the small curled up lips, “yes. I would love that but I’m feeling so weak.”

Wooyoung chimed in, “You have to eat a lot to become strong and then we will watch movies and discuss your favorite things. You have to show us your favorite stories.”

Hongjoong chuckled, “You cant make her do that even now. She will still run after you because she always do her best to hide the things she read. But I’m curious too.”

Mingi raised his brows and nodded, “those are in English so even if I get a hold of it. I don’t know how to read them.”

Jongho laughed lightly, “deliver them to me. I will let you know about it.”

Seonghwa shook his head and laughed. The atmosphere was becoming lighter than before and they were glad that you were smiling with them. Jongho kissed your nose, “you need to walk more or you will feel more weak. But you should rest until the wounds are getting better.”

You nodded.

You were always an independent and hardworking woman and that’s how they got attracted to you. Every on the point decisions and single handedly and actively managing lots of works was never a small deal for anyone but they saw you doing it and they were impressed. When you got the offer to join the company, you didn’t know it belonged to a mafia base but what to do, when they told you about it, you were already in love with them. They were always honest with you and respected and even treated you like a queen. Their queen.

 But today, seeing you so weak and vulnerable like a baby was breaking their heart into million pieces. You were hurt, you were scared and traumatized.

A groan escaped your lips when you shifted in your place and Yeosang made you still and Yunho helping you to sit properly, leaning your back to his chest. You turned towards San who was quite all these moments. He was still sitting on the bed close to you and rubbing his hands up and down your body. He wanted to feel you, to make himself belief that he was not dreaming but it’s the reality.

Yeosang with concerned eyes looked towards you and asked, “Are you okay? Where is it hurting?”

San urged you to speak, “tell us baby. Where does it hurt?”

“Everywhere.”

Yeosang, the medic of the group knew he had to take care of you more after returning back home. Yunho massaged your side and it did wonder to relieve some tensions.

Your gaze fell on San’s hand, it was bandaged. Your eyes went wide and you looked towards others to scan them. Why are they hurt? You couldn’t find anything visible on Wooyoung, not even on Jongho but when you watched Yeosang fishing his hand inside the jacket’s pocket. You quickly grabbed it and caressed the bandaged palm. You didn’t notice it earlier.

“Why are you hurt? What happened?”

He shook his head, “nothing major.”

Your other hand grabbed San’s wounded one, “does it hurt?”

“no baby. Calm down. Getting hurt during missions is pretty normal.”

“don’t normalize these things. I don’t want you all to get hurt.” San hugged your side. “I’m sorry…”

“why?” his whisper fanned your ears, tickling you lightly.

Hongjoong frowned, “why are you sorry? You did nothing wrong, y/n.”

“but I am here…”

Wooyoung placed a finger on your lips, “don’t speak. That’s not your fault. You are safe and talking with us. That’s what we want right now.”

Seonghwa patted your head before announcing, “I am going to talk with her doctor…what was the name again?”

Jongho stated, “Johnny.”

“ah yes him. so Mingi and Jongho come along with me, we need to take some medical equipment as well.”

The two nodded and followed behind him before them sending smiles towards you. Your eyes followed them until they closed the door behind them.

“San…”

“hmm… tell me.”

“I don’t want to go to that office building. And you did got some pictures, right?”

Before he could reply Hongjoong interrupted, “no we are not going there anytime soon.” You nodded.

San furrowed his brows, “what pictures?”

“me and Heesung…”

Yunho pulled you closer if its even possible, “why? Why are you asking?”

“do you all trust that? I mean the pictures are real but…”

“but?” Hongjoong just needed some truth and the plannings he already made inside his head would be in action. “tell me y/n.”

“I was drugged and didn’t know what he did. Amy…she used me to get to get you all. She forced me to transfer money, to meet him, and so on. But trust me I didn’t want to do anything. I wanted you all. I wanted to go home. I still want to go far away with you all.”

“calm down, Y/n. we are not speaking about those things right now.” Yeosang shushed you and  Hongjoong clenched his jaw.

He is going to kill her. He is going to torture her till the day she dies of blood loss. He wants to rip her heart out. Does she even have one? He mentally scoffed. He caught Yunho and San staring at him. they both smirked when they saw the leader was fuming.

The leader showed his dirty smirk towards them. They knew the hell was going to break loose for someone.

Seonghwa called Yeosang and asked him to tell others to take you to the car because they got the permission to take you home as Yeosang could manage the rest. He removed the needles and you winced but he was quick to tape the wounds. Wooyoung held your side when you tried to stand up. You felt your head spinning and nauseous hit you. Hongjoong quickly brought a mug in front of your face to let you vomit and Yunho held your hairs in a ponytail and patting your back, encouraging you to take it easy and you will be okay. Yeosang wiped your mouth with wet tissues and San swept you off the ground.

“you are not walking anymore. You need to rest and your limbs are still too weak to make you stand strong even for a second.”

You didn’t argue because you yourself were aware of your condition. As soon as you all left the room, people moved aside seeing the mafia group carrying a girl in their arms. Some had sympathetic look and some with curiosity whispering to each other. You felt awkward under the gazes and you buried your face in his chest. His laugh vibrated in your face and you could hear others chuckled.

Wooyoung ruffled your hairs, “silly.”

Reaching the parking lot, the others were already there. The fresh air hit your face, feeling lively and Seonghwa came in front, “are you okay?”

“I want to stay outside. Please.” You were whining like a baby in san’s arms.

One by one they all entered the car and you were laying with your head resting on Seonghwa’s lap and legs placed over San’s thigh. You pout when they didn’t acknowledge your request. Jongho stared at you, “what happened?”

“I said I wanted to stay outside.”

“didn’t you want to go home?”

You sighed and closed your eyes. Yes, you wanted to return home.

Hongjoong laughed from the passenger seat and Yunho spoke up, “we are going to the beach in front of our house. We will have our lunch there and spend the evening there as well.”

Your eyes fluttered open, “really?”

“yes.” Mingi assured you and joked to make you laugh.

San stroked your legs, “you are our home, y/n. I love you.”

Even if you wanted to go to the house, your home.  It’s fine. Wherever they are, its your home.

They are your home.

“you guys are my home too. My world.”

[thanks for loving the ot8 fics anon <3. I hope you liked this one.]

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon @hyuukah @kazscara @aceofspadesbiofalltrades @nvdhrzn [open!]

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Copyright takedowns are a cautionary tale that few are heeding

On July 14, I'm giving the closing keynote for the fifteenth HACKERS ON PLANET EARTH, in QUEENS, NY. Happy Bastille Day! On July 20, I'm appearing in CHICAGO at Exile in Bookville.

We're living through one of those moments when millions of people become suddenly and overwhelmingly interested in fair use, one of the subtlest and worst-understood aspects of copyright law. It's not a subject you can master by skimming a Wikipedia article!

I've been talking about fair use with laypeople for more than 20 years. I've met so many people who possess the unshakable, serene confidence of the truly wrong, like the people who think fair use means you can take x words from a book, or y seconds from a song and it will always be fair, while anything more will never be.

Or the people who think that if you violate any of the four factors, your use can't be fair – or the people who think that if you fail all of the four factors, you must be infringing (people, the Supreme Court is calling and they want to tell you about the Betamax!).

You might think that you can never quote a song lyric in a book without infringing copyright, or that you must clear every musical sample. You might be rock solid certain that scraping the web to train an AI is infringing. If you hold those beliefs, you do not understand the "fact intensive" nature of fair use.

But you can learn! It's actually a really cool and interesting and gnarly subject, and it's a favorite of copyright scholars, who have really fascinating disagreements and discussions about the subject. These discussions often key off of the controversies of the moment, but inevitably they implicate earlier fights about everything from the piano roll to 2 Live Crew to antiracist retellings of Gone With the Wind.

One of the most interesting discussions of fair use you can ask for took place in 2019, when the NYU Engelberg Center on Innovation Law & Policy held a symposium called "Proving IP." One of the panels featured dueling musicologists debating the merits of the Blurred Lines case. That case marked a turning point in music copyright, with the Marvin Gaye estate successfully suing Robin Thicke and Pharrell Williams for copying the "vibe" of Gaye's "Got to Give it Up."

Naturally, this discussion featured clips from both songs as the experts – joined by some of America's top copyright scholars – delved into the legal reasoning and future consequences of the case. It would be literally impossible to discuss this case without those clips.

And that's where the problems start: as soon as the symposium was uploaded to Youtube, it was flagged and removed by Content ID, Google's $100,000,000 copyright enforcement system. This initial takedown was fully automated, which is how Content ID works: rightsholders upload audio to claim it, and then Content ID removes other videos where that audio appears (rightsholders can also specify that videos with matching clips be demonetized, or that the ad revenue from those videos be diverted to the rightsholders).

But Content ID has a safety valve: an uploader whose video has been incorrectly flagged can challenge the takedown. The case is then punted to the rightsholder, who has to manually renew or drop their claim. In the case of this symposium, the rightsholder was Universal Music Group, the largest record company in the world. UMG's personnel reviewed the video and did not drop the claim.

99.99% of the time, that's where the story would end, for many reasons. First of all, most people don't understand fair use well enough to contest the judgment of a cosmically vast, unimaginably rich monopolist who wants to censor their video. Just as importantly, though, is that Content ID is a Byzantine system that is nearly as complex as fair use, but it's an entirely private affair, created and adjudicated by another galactic-scale monopolist (Google).

Google's copyright enforcement system is a cod-legal regime with all the downsides of the law, and a few wrinkles of its own (for example, it's a system without lawyers – just corporate experts doing battle with laypeople). And a single mis-step can result in your video being deleted or your account being permanently deleted, along with every video you've ever posted. For people who make their living on audiovisual content, losing your Youtube account is an extinction-level event:

https://www.eff.org/wp/unfiltered-how-youtubes-content-id-discourages-fair-use-and-dictates-what-we-see-online

So for the average Youtuber, Content ID is a kind of Kafka-as-a-Service system that is always avoided and never investigated. But the Engelbert Center isn't your average Youtuber: they boast some of the country's top copyright experts, specializing in exactly the questions Youtube's Content ID is supposed to be adjudicating.

So naturally, they challenged the takedown – only to have UMG double down. This is par for the course with UMG: they are infamous for refusing to consider fair use in takedown requests. Their stance is so unreasonable that a court actually found them guilty of violating the DMCA's provision against fraudulent takedowns:

https://www.eff.org/cases/lenz-v-universal

But the DMCA's takedown system is part of the real law, while Content ID is a fake law, created and overseen by a tech monopolist, not a court. So the fate of the Blurred Lines discussion turned on the Engelberg Center's ability to navigate both the law and the n-dimensional topology of Content ID's takedown flowchart.

It took more than a year, but eventually, Engelberg prevailed.

Until they didn't.

If Content ID was a person, it would be baby, specifically, a baby under 18 months old – that is, before the development of "object permanence." Until our 18th month (or so), we lack the ability to reason about things we can't see – this the period when small babies find peek-a-boo amazing. Object permanence is the ability to understand things that aren't in your immediate field of vision.

Content ID has no object permanence. Despite the fact that the Engelberg Blurred Lines panel was the most involved fair use question the system was ever called upon to parse, it managed to repeatedly forget that it had decided that the panel could stay up. Over and over since that initial determination, Content ID has taken down the video of the panel, forcing Engelberg to go through the whole process again.

But that's just for starters, because Youtube isn't the only place where a copyright enforcement bot is making billions of unsupervised, unaccountable decisions about what audiovisual material you're allowed to access.

Spotify is yet another monopolist, with a justifiable reputation for being extremely hostile to artists' interests, thanks in large part to the role that UMG and the other major record labels played in designing its business rules:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/09/12/streaming-doesnt-pay/#stunt-publishing

Spotify has spent hundreds of millions of dollars trying to capture the podcasting market, in the hopes of converting one of the last truly open digital publishing systems into a product under its control:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/27/enshittification-resistance/#ummauerter-garten-nein

Thankfully, that campaign has failed – but millions of people have (unwisely) ditched their open podcatchers in favor of Spotify's pre-enshittified app, so everyone with a podcast now must target Spotify for distribution if they hope to reach those captive users.

Guess who has a podcast? The Engelberg Center.

Naturally, Engelberg's podcast includes the audio of that Blurred Lines panel, and that audio includes samples from both "Blurred Lines" and "Got To Give It Up."

So – naturally – UMG keeps taking down the podcast.

Spotify has its own answer to Content ID, and incredibly, it's even worse and harder to navigate than Google's pretend legal system. As Engelberg describes in its latest post, UMG and Spotify have colluded to ensure that this now-classic discussion of fair use will never be able to take advantage of fair use itself:

https://www.nyuengelberg.org/news/how-explaining-copyright-broke-the-spotify-copyright-system/

Remember, this is the best case scenario for arguing about fair use with a monopolist like UMG, Google, or Spotify. As Engelberg puts it:

The Engelberg Center had an extraordinarily high level of interest in pursuing this issue, and legal confidence in our position that would have cost an average podcaster tens of thousands of dollars to develop. That cannot be what is required to challenge the removal of a podcast episode.

Automated takedown systems are the tech industry's answer to the "notice-and-takedown" system that was invented to broker a peace between copyright law and the internet, starting with the US's 1998 Digital Millennium Copyright Act. The DMCA implements (and exceeds) a pair of 1996 UN treaties, the WIPO Copyright Treaty and the Performances and Phonograms Treaty, and most countries in the world have some version of notice-and-takedown.

Big corporate rightsholders claim that notice-and-takedown is a gift to the tech sector, one that allows tech companies to get away with copyright infringement. They want a "strict liability" regime, where any platform that allows a user to post something infringing is liable for that infringement, to the tune of $150,000 in statutory damages.

Of course, there's no way for a platform to know a priori whether something a user posts infringes on someone's copyright. There is no registry of everything that is copyrighted, and of course, fair use means that there are lots of ways to legally reproduce someone's work without their permission (or even when they object). Even if every person who ever has trained or ever will train as a copyright lawyer worked 24/7 for just one online platform to evaluate every tweet, video, audio clip and image for copyright infringement, they wouldn't be able to touch even 1% of what gets posted to that platform.

The "compromise" that the entertainment industry wants is automated takedown – a system like Content ID, where rightsholders register their copyrights and platforms block anything that matches the registry. This "filternet" proposal became law in the EU in 2019 with Article 17 of the Digital Single Market Directive:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2018/09/today-europe-lost-internet-now-we-fight-back

This was the most controversial directive in EU history, and – as experts warned at the time – there is no way to implement it without violating the GDPR, Europe's privacy law, so now it's stuck in limbo:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2022/05/eus-copyright-directive-still-about-filters-eus-top-court-limits-its-use

As critics pointed out during the EU debate, there are so many problems with filternets. For one thing, these copyright filters are very expensive: remember that Google has spent $100m on Content ID alone, and that only does a fraction of what filternet advocates demand. Building the filternet would cost so much that only the biggest tech monopolists could afford it, which is to say, filternets are a legal requirement to keep the tech monopolists in business and prevent smaller, better platforms from ever coming into existence.

Filternets are also incapable of telling the difference between similar files. This is especially problematic for classical musicians, who routinely find their work blocked or demonetized by Sony Music, which claims performances of all the most important classical music compositions:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/05/08/copyfraud/#beethoven-just-wrote-music

Content ID can't tell the difference between your performance of "The Goldberg Variations" and Glenn Gould's. For classical musicians, the best case scenario is to have their online wages stolen by Sony, who fraudulently claim copyright to their recordings. The worst case scenario is that their video is blocked, their channel deleted, and their names blacklisted from ever opening another account on one of the monopoly platforms.

But when it comes to free expression, the role that notice-and-takedown and filternets play in the creative industries is really a sideshow. In creating a system of no-evidence-required takedowns, with no real consequences for fraudulent takedowns, these systems are huge gift to the world's worst criminals. For example, "reputation management" companies help convicted rapists, murderers, and even war criminals purge the internet of true accounts of their crimes by claiming copyright over them:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/23/reputation-laundry/#dark-ops

Remember how during the covid lockdowns, scumbags marketed junk devices by claiming that they'd protect you from the virus? Their products remained online, while the detailed scientific articles warning people about the fraud were speedily removed through false copyright claims:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/10/18/labor-shortage-discourse-time/#copyfraud

Copyfraud – making false copyright claims – is an extremely safe crime to commit, and it's not just quack covid remedy peddlers and war criminals who avail themselves of it. Tech giants like Adobe do not hesitate to abuse the takedown system, even when that means exposing millions of people to spyware:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/10/13/theres-an-app-for-that/#gnash

Dirty cops play loud, copyrighted music during confrontations with the public, in the hopes that this will trigger copyright filters on services like Youtube and Instagram and block videos of their misbehavior:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/02/10/duke-sucks/#bhpd

But even if you solved all these problems with filternets and takedown, this system would still choke on fair use and other copyright exceptions. These are "fact intensive" questions that the world's top experts struggle with (as anyone who watches the Blurred Lines panel can see). There's no way we can get software to accurately determine when a use is or isn't fair.

That's a question that the entertainment industry itself is increasingly conflicted about. The Blurred Lines judgment opened the floodgates to a new kind of copyright troll – grifters who sued the record labels and their biggest stars for taking the "vibe" of songs that no one ever heard of. Musicians like Ed Sheeran have been sued for millions of dollars over these alleged infringements. These suits caused the record industry to (ahem) change its tune on fair use, insisting that fair use should be broadly interpreted to protect people who made things that were similar to existing works. The labels understood that if "vibe rights" became accepted law, they'd end up in the kind of hell that the rest of us enter when we try to post things online – where anything they produce can trigger takedowns, long legal battles, and millions in liability:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/04/08/oh-why/#two-notes-and-running

But the music industry remains deeply conflicted over fair use. Take the curious case of Katy Perry's song "Dark Horse," which attracted a multimillion-dollar suit from an obscure Christian rapper who claimed that a brief phrase in "Dark Horse" was impermissibly similar to his song "A Joyful Noise."

Perry and her publisher, Warner Chappell, lost the suit and were ordered to pay $2.8m. While they subsequently won an appeal, this definitely put the cold grue up Warner Chappell's back. They could see a long future of similar suits launched by treasure hunters hoping for a quick settlement.

But here's where it gets unbelievably weird and darkly funny. A Youtuber named Adam Neely made a wildly successful viral video about the suit, taking Perry's side and defending her song. As part of that video, Neely included a few seconds' worth of "A Joyful Noise," the song that Perry was accused of copying.

In court, Warner Chappell had argued that "A Joyful Noise" was not similar to Perry's "Dark Horse." But when Warner had Google remove Neely's video, they claimed that the sample from "Joyful Noise" was actually taken from "Dark Horse." Incredibly, they maintained this position through multiple appeals through the Content ID system:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/03/05/warner-chappell-copyfraud/#warnerchappell

In other words, they maintained that the song that they'd told the court was totally dissimilar to their own was so indistinguishable from their own song that they couldn't tell the difference!

Now, this question of vibes, similarity and fair use has only gotten more intense since the takedown of Neely's video. Just this week, the RIAA sued several AI companies, claiming that the songs the AI shits out are infringingly similar to tracks in their catalog:

https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/record-labels-sue-music-generators-suno-and-udio-1235042056/

Even before "Blurred Lines," this was a difficult fair use question to answer, with lots of chewy nuances. Just ask George Harrison:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Sweet_Lord

But as the Engelberg panel's cohort of dueling musicologists and renowned copyright experts proved, this question only gets harder as time goes by. If you listen to that panel (if you can listen to that panel), you'll be hard pressed to come away with any certainty about the questions in this latest lawsuit.

The notice-and-takedown system is what's known as an "intermediary liability" rule. Platforms are "intermediaries" in that they connect end users with each other and with businesses. Ebay and Etsy and Amazon connect buyers and sellers; Facebook and Google and Tiktok connect performers, advertisers and publishers with audiences and so on.

For copyright, notice-and-takedown gives platforms a "safe harbor." A platform doesn't have to remove material after an allegation of infringement, but if they don't, they're jointly liable for any future judgment. In other words, Youtube isn't required to take down the Engelberg Blurred Lines panel, but if UMG sues Engelberg and wins a judgment, Google will also have to pay out.

During the adoption of the 1996 WIPO treaties and the 1998 US DMCA, this safe harbor rule was characterized as a balance between the rights of the public to publish online and the interest of rightsholders whose material might be infringed upon. The idea was that things that were likely to be infringing would be immediately removed once the platform received a notification, but that platforms would ignore spurious or obviously fraudulent takedowns.

That's not how it worked out. Whether it's Sony Music claiming to own your performance of "Fur Elise" or a war criminal claiming authorship over a newspaper story about his crimes, platforms nuke first and ask questions never. Why not? If they ignore a takedown and get it wrong, they suffer dire consequences ($150,000 per claim). But if they take action on a dodgy claim, there are no consequences. Of course they're just going to delete anything they're asked to delete.

This is how platforms always handle liability, and that's a lesson that we really should have internalized by now. After all, the DMCA is the second-most famous intermediary liability system for the internet – the most (in)famous is Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act.

This is a 27-word law that says that platforms are not liable for civil damages arising from their users' speech. Now, this is a US law, and in the US, there aren't many civil damages from speech to begin with. The First Amendment makes it very hard to get a libel judgment, and even when these judgments are secured, damages are typically limited to "actual damages" – generally a low sum. Most of the worst online speech is actually not illegal: hate speech, misinformation and disinformation are all covered by the First Amendment.

Notwithstanding the First Amendment, there are categories of speech that US law criminalizes: actual threats of violence, criminal harassment, and committing certain kinds of legal, medical, election or financial fraud. These are all exempted from Section 230, which only provides immunity for civil suits, not criminal acts.

What Section 230 really protects platforms from is being named to unwinnable nuisance suits by unscrupulous parties who are betting that the platforms would rather remove legal speech that they object to than go to court. A generation of copyfraudsters have proved that this is a very safe bet:

https://www.techdirt.com/2020/06/23/hello-youve-been-referred-here-because-youre-wrong-about-section-230-communications-decency-act/

In other words, if you made a #MeToo accusation, or if you were a gig worker using an online forum to organize a union, or if you were blowing the whistle on your employer's toxic waste leaks, or if you were any other under-resourced person being bullied by a wealthy, powerful person or organization, that organization could shut you up by threatening to sue the platform that hosted your speech. The platform would immediately cave. But those same rich and powerful people would have access to the lawyers and back-channels that would prevent you from doing the same to them – that's why Sony can get your Brahms recital taken down, but you can't turn around and do the same to them.

This is true of every intermediary liability system, and it's been true since the earliest days of the internet, and it keeps getting proven to be true. Six years ago, Trump signed SESTA/FOSTA, a law that allowed platforms to be held civilly liable by survivors of sex trafficking. At the time, advocates claimed that this would only affect "sexual slavery" and would not impact consensual sex-work.

But from the start, and ever since, SESTA/FOSTA has primarily targeted consensual sex-work, to the immediate, lasting, and profound detriment of sex workers:

https://hackinghustling.org/what-is-sesta-fosta/

SESTA/FOSTA killed the "bad date" forums where sex workers circulated the details of violent and unstable clients, killed the online booking sites that allowed sex workers to screen their clients, and killed the payment processors that let sex workers avoid holding unsafe amounts of cash:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2022/09/fight-overturn-fosta-unconstitutional-internet-censorship-law-continues

SESTA/FOSTA made voluntary sex work more dangerous – and also made life harder for law enforcement efforts to target sex trafficking:

https://hackinghustling.org/erased-the-impact-of-fosta-sesta-2020/

Despite half a decade of SESTA/FOSTA, despite 15 years of filternets, despite a quarter century of notice-and-takedown, people continue to insist that getting rid of safe harbors will punish Big Tech and make life better for everyday internet users.

As of now, it seems likely that Section 230 will be dead by then end of 2025, even if there is nothing in place to replace it:

https://energycommerce.house.gov/posts/bipartisan-energy-and-commerce-leaders-announce-legislative-hearing-on-sunsetting-section-230

This isn't the win that some people think it is. By making platforms responsible for screening the content their users post, we create a system that only the largest tech monopolies can survive, and only then by removing or blocking anything that threatens or displeases the wealthy and powerful.

Filternets are not precision-guided takedown machines; they're indiscriminate cluster-bombs that destroy anything in the vicinity of illegal speech – including (and especially) the best-informed, most informative discussions of how these systems go wrong, and how that blocks the complaints of the powerless, the marginalized, and the abused.

Support me this summer on the Clarion Write-A-Thon and help raise money for the Clarion Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers' Workshop!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/27/nuke-first/#ask-questions-never

Image: EFF https://www.eff.org/files/banner_library/yt-fu-1b.png

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

[thedensworld]

Sweet Macaroons | C.Sc

Pairing: Gangster!Seungcheol x Baker!Reader

Genre: fluff, established relationship

Words Count: ±600

Summary: Seungcheol was far from pleased when a food critic posted a negative review that started to impact your sales. He couldn't stand to see you upset.

In the midst of a picturesque five months, Seungcheol, with an air of exclusivity, tenderly asked you to be his girlfriend. Everything seemed to move in slow motion around you, as if the universe itself was savoring the moment. His crew, astounded, couldn't fathom that a humble bakery owner just down the block from their bar had captured their boss's heart. He had transformed into something they never imagined: a unabashedly cheesy boy. Even Jeonghan, Seungcheol's right-hand man, remained baffled by the depth of his friend's infatuation with you. He couldn't quite grasp what had caused Seungcheol to fall so hard until he witnessed how Seungcheol would gladly stop the world at your command.

As an example of Seungcheol's devotion, he had gone as far as hiring a bodyguard to watch over you and ensure your safety. Seungcheol, ever mysterious about his business, would simply say, "I do business in Seoul and Busan," which, in its own way, was true. He owned nearly a hundred bars and nightclubs, not to mention his own association—a realm of details you didn't need to delve into.

Your bodyguard, Jun, who currently disguised as a barista in your bakery, would dutifully relay every detail to Seungcheol. This included mundane activities like your trips to the grocery store, visits from friends at the bakery, or even encounters with rude customers. Despite being in the know about your daily affairs through Jun, Seungcheol cherished hearing you recount your day, especially when it involved a customer that cussed on you. He'd teasingly inquire, "Should I track him down and make him pay?" A promise he would have swiftly fulfilled if you had not said, "No, you don't have to. I'll give him a piece mind when I'm a billionaire."

At times, Seungcheol really wants to say, "Marry me, and you can cuss him back in an instant." He was acutely aware of the influence he held.

However, he received an extremely irritating message from Jun, stating that a popular food critic had left a scathing review on their social media, claiming to have found a fly and cockroach legs in your sweets. This review had a detrimental impact on your sales and the overall image of the bakery, as people began leaving unpleasant comments on your social media platforms.

"Jeonghan, do you know this person?" Seungcheol inquired, displaying a video of the food critic.

Jeonghan confirmed, "Yeah, they're a very influential food critic."

Seungcheol nodded thoughtfully and hummed, "Do you know how to contact them?" he pressed further.

"I think we just need to get in touch with their management. They'll provide you with the pricing for their content," Jeonghan explained, prompting another question from Seungcheol.

"Then we can have them review our food however we want?" Jeonghan nodded, "Why? Are you thinking about having them promote our new foodbar?" he inquired.

Seungcheol shook his head, simultaneously signaling to Jeonghan that he wanted to be dropped off at your bakery.

Jun had informed Seungcheol that you had closed the bakery early today due to the lack of customers following the internet sensation. When Seungcheol arrived, only Jun was present in the bakery. He mentioned that you had gone to the convenience store for a few minutes. As Seungcheol patiently waited at one of the tables, you returned with a plastic bag in hand. Lost in your thoughts, you didn't immediately notice him. Instead, you went straight to Jun, telling him he could go home. Jun subtly gestured towards Seungcheol, indicating that he was waiting for you.

"Hi..." Your voice, though soft as always, carries a subtle shade of sadness. Seungcheol swears he can hear it, a touch of blue in your tone.

He smiles, approaching you and subtly signaling for Jun to leave the shop.

"Are you okay? I saw it online," Seungcheol asks gently once Jun has vanished from view.

You smile back at him, but tears well up in your eyes, trickling down your cheeks. You turn away, hiding your face from him as you wipe away the tears. Seungcheol's heart aches at the sight, a feeling he's never experienced before, like someone's squeezing his heart, causing a deep ache.

"Hey, it's okay," he murmurs softly, turning you to face him and pulling you into an embrace. He can feel the tightness in his chest intensify when he hears you sob.

This is the first time he's seen you cry in the five months you've been dating. He swears he'd never want to be the cause of your tears, let alone someone else.

"It's okay, baby. Bad things happen sometimes. It's not your fault," he reassures you as you try to explain how diligently you maintain your bakery's hygiene and ensure the freshness of ingredients. There's no way the accusations the food critic made could be true.

Seungcheol noticed the contents of the plastic bag you had been holding earlier: cleaning soap and equipment. His heart breaks once again, this time tinged with anger.

"Let's go home and rest, okay? I'll hire someone to clean the shop. I don't want to see you laboring with a heavy heart like this," he insists.

Seungcheol calls Jeonghan and swiftly arranges for his people to clean your shop. He drives you home, ensuring you have a proper dinner before settling down for some much-needed rest. Once you're peacefully asleep, he quietly slips away, reaching out to Jun and Jeonghan.

"Get them for me before midnight. Alive," he instructs.

Seungcheol doesn't concern himself with the specifics of how they carried out his request. But when his people successfully bring them to his office, he finally confronts the face that caused his girl to cry.

"What's your name?" Seungcheol asks, rising from his seat and approaching them.

"Who put you up to this?" Seungcheol presents their damning post about your bakery to their face. Poor soul, Seungcheol thinks. This food critic probably never imagined they'd be dragged in by a gangster and subjected to an interrogation like this.

Once Seungcheol acquires the name, he signals his people to reveal the extent of their capabilities. Images of their family and significant other are displayed, and they immediately plead for an apology, expressing regret for their actions.

"You should've thought about that before you posted that garbage," Seungcheol states, fixing them with a steely gaze.

"Upload a clarification video about your previous review. Go to that bakery tomorrow and apologize to the owner. Post both of those things before lunch if you want to spare them," Seungcheol directs, referring to the individuals in the photos as he delivers his unwavering ultimatum.

*

"It was a very wrong act of me to accept the offer to give a bad review to another bakery. I deeply apologize to the owner and my followers for doing such a wrong thing."

Seungcheol smiled at you as you showed him the video from the same account that had claimed they found a cockroach leg on your macaroon.

"See! I knew that my bakery and kitchen have passed the hygiene standards," you said, placing your phone down. There was a visible pout on your face, prompting Seungcheol to let out a chuckle.

"You're too cute," Seungcheol teased, pinching your cheek. He was relieved to see no trace of tears like the previous night.

You gently pulled his hand from your cheek as you stood up to restock the macaroon stall, which was nearly empty. Seungcheol couldn't help but smile as he watched you, his girl, his love, engrossed in the work you adored.

"Before you go, want a macaroon and your favorite latte?" you offered. He swore he would nod to anything you said.

"Here! I've packed some for your staff as well," you added, handing him boxes filled with sweets and a bundle of coffees for Seungcheol and Jeonghan.

He wouldn't let anyone steal your smile, even if he had to stop the world.

[gammasnippets]

[CHANNEL_9] fromis_9 '채널나인' EP58. Spotlighting🎬 Part.1

fromis_9 Lee Saerom, Song Hayoung, Jang Gyuri, Park Jiwon, Roh Jisun, Lee Seoyeon, Lee Chaeyoung, Lee Nagyung, Baek Jiheon

2,824 words (Unedited)

It’s the year 2027.

With the immense attention social media content garners these days, K-pop groups must put out a lot of various kinds of content for their fans to stay in their boat. And as of late, some artists are even resorting to a more risqué and sexual form of media just to stay in the game. The morality and ethics of it is something that shouldn’t be scoffed at, as it has sparked controversy around the industry. Others are in favor of it, while some are against it.

But as time goes by, this venture becomes harder and harder to resist as more and more fans are eating all forms of content… Until their perception of it all becomes grayed out.

Being one of the industry's most revered groups, the members of fromis_9 are just some of the artists who started partaking in more provocative and sensual concepts for their content to provide fans with a more sensual form of fanservice. Their agency has always been reluctant to do so, as they had their reputation to keep up. But with many groups competing for the top spot, these nine girls have to “exploit” what assets they have to push themselves higher in the industry.

As the group delved deeper into this sensual rabbit hole, they made a variety of content that fans will surely go crazy about. From music videos that show their bodies in tight, revealing clothes, and a bunch of photoshoots that would make you blush with the sheer sensuality of the outfits and poses that they had, fromis_9 has gone to the world that only the most daring of groups would dare venture in. And being a part of a group of editors tasked to produce content like this, you often find yourself getting a lot of material to jerk off to from these girls.

To commemorate the group’s 10th anniversary, the company has planned a series of special videos featuring the girls for their ever-loyal fans. And after several passes and editing by the other editors, the videos finally came in your email, waiting for a final review to be conducted by no other than you. The pressure is high, as this could very well be the most successful video project yet. As the last editor to get the content, it's all up to you to give it the final touches and make these videos—12 in total— as flawless as possible. With tissues and lotion just within arm's reach, you start reviewing the footage.

You press play on the first video on the list and the unforgettable intro for their variety series “Channel_9” starts.

The episode begins as the camera shows a large studio complex, almost like the ones they have in other countries where they create live-action films and such, panning through the many large structures and beautiful gardenscapes scattered around the area. It then transitions to a drone shot, where the girls can be seen walking through the complex. They pass by large water fountains and flower patches, all the while showing how nice and beautiful the place is. All of them gasped in awe at the sight of the complex.

“This place looks like a big hotel. They could be hiding the rides in those buildings,” says Hayoung.

Seoyeon chuckles. “You mean a theme park?”

“Ah… Right,” she answers.

You can hear all the girls laughing at that short yet funny conversation.

“Unnie,” says Chaeyoung. “We just visited one recently and you still can’t forget about it.”

“That place was fun, though,” she retorts.

“Yeah. You’re right,” Saerom and Chaeyoung answer, almost in unison.

“Wish we can return to that place,” Jiheon tells everyone.

"Maybe the crew's planning to take us to a theme park," Jiwon tells the group as she looks at the cameraman with a smug look on her face.

Everyone giggles at that.

Gyuri then sighs. "There she goes again."

"Watch it get jinxed," Nagyung adds.

Seoyeon laughs out loud at that. "Her plans never work out."

"Ya!" Jiwon protests, "It'll work out this time. Just watch!"

She looks back at the camera again, nodding as if persuading them to agree with her.

However… She got silence for an answer.

Jiwon playfully sulks, making everyone laugh.

They continue to walk through the complex until they've reached the center of a huge courtyard, where the rest of the filming crew is waiting for them. As they are all getting into their respective positions, you see the members getting excited to start shooting the first episode.

"This will be exciting, hmmm?" Hayoung asks them, looking eager.

"I sure hope so," Jisun replies, smiling.

"Oh, me too," says Saerom.

One of the staff members then began to speak up.

"Hello, everyone," the staff member began, greeting them.

The group greeted her back in unison, bowing their heads.

"Welcome to the country's biggest filming facility," the staff member continued.

"Oh! So this is what it is!" Jiheon gasps.

The camera then pans out in a drone camera, giving the viewers another good look of the entire complex.

"This is probably where they filmed that one train movie I just watched," Chaeyoung says in excitement, her eyes sparkling in awe.

Suddenly, Hayoung yells.

"Ahh! Ahh!"

Everyone looks at her, shocked.

"What is it?" asks Saerom.

Hayoung, still looking shocked, excitedly points somewhere far.

"I… I've seen that bench from my favorite drama show!"

"Really?" Gyuri asks.

Hayoung nods.

The camera then pans over to a familiar bench that looks identical to the one in the show.

"It really does look like that one," Seoyeon says.

"Wow, unnie," Nagyung says. "You do know your stuff."

Hayoung smiles and gives her a thumbs-up.

"Anyway… We have prepared a series of challenges for all of you," the staff member resumes.

Oohs and ahhs can be heard from the girls.

“We call these Spotlighting Challenges.”

Another wave of amazement envelops the group.

Hayoung then raises her hand. “Spotlighting Challenge?”

The staff member nods. “These challenges refer to a study about how people behave differently when they are being watched—be it on camera or in the spotlight.”

Everyone nods at the given explanation.

“Ooh. So that’s why there’s ‘spotlight’ in the name,” Chaeyoung remarks, nodding her head.

“Yeah,” Jisun hears her and agrees. “But we’re definitely used to it by now, right?”

Chaeyoung nods back, laughing. “Yeah. This should be easy for us!”

"Every single challenge has different goals and rules to achieve,” the staff member follows up. “All of you must do your best to complete each challenge."

"I see…" Nagyung replies, attentively listening.

"So where are these challenges located?" Saerom asks.

"Each challenge is located at different areas within the complex. There are nine challenges—one for each member."

Everyone is shocked at the announcement.

"Woah! Nine?" Jiheon exclaims.

"Yes, each member has a unique challenge."

"Unique challenge?" Jiwon asks, her eyes wide in shock. "So we'll be alone?"

"Yes," the staff member nods her head. "These challenges can only be completed individually."

A sudden silence fills the air as they process the information.

"Jeez… This is going to be nerve-wracking," Gyuri mumbles, scratching her head.

"I feel the same," Jiheon tells her, her body shaking in nervousness.

"We know you girls will worry about not having each other by your side," the staff member tells them reassuringly. "But we believe in each of your skills and strengths."

"Thank you," Jisun bows, accepting the encouragement.

"Are the challenges going to be difficult?" Chaeyoung asks, curiously.

The staff member shrugs her shoulders and replies in a soft tone.

“Kinda…”

Everyone then lets out sighs and grunts at the answer.

“Oh dear. We’re done for,” Nagyung frowns.

"But we made each challenge doable for any member," the staff member explains.

Everyone responds with a mixture of relief and determination.

"Well that's good news," she says with a smile.

"I know right?" Jiwon replies, also relieved.

"These challenges will require all of you to be creative. So do your best," the staff member adds.

Those words piqued the girls' curiosity. Some of them begin thinking of what they could mean.

"Be creative, huh?" Saerom asks them, her tone doubtful.

The staff member nods. She follows up with the instructions with a smirk forming on her face.

"And maybe some of your… Physical skills."

A mischievous glint suddenly sparkles in the girls' eyes as they exchange knowing looks.

"Hmmm… I wonder how physical these challenges can get?" Jiwon mischievously suggests with a playful tone.

Her teasing remark sends a wave of laughter through the group, instantly lightening the tense atmosphere.

"Oh, boy. Jiwon's at it again," Hayoung chuckles at Jiwon's suggestive remark.

The group can't help but blush at the playful insinuation.

"Surely it's nothing like that… Right?" Chaeyoung asks, looking dumbfounded at the revelation of their challenges.

The staff member smiles knowingly, making the girls even more intrigued

"Oh, dear…" Jiheon whispers under her breath, her cheeks slowly blushing. "This is going to be interesting."

"Are we really going to do it? Here?" Jisun murmurs, sounding both nervous and excited.

"I guess so," Gyuri responds with a sly grin.

The girls look at each other once again, giggling, as if they're sharing a naughty secret only they know.

"But what do we get if we win?" Nagyung then asks, diverting the topic to their goal.

"We have prepared something for all of you if you win," the staff member replies. "Since there are nine of you, the group will need five members to successfully complete the challenges."

Everyone is intrigued, their curiosity piqued by the promise of a reward.

"What's the prize? Can we get a hint?" Saerom asks, sounding mischievously.

"Yeah! Tell us!" Jiwon follows up, yelling in excitement.

"Jeez, unnie. Tone it down," Chaeyoung playfully berates her.

"Well… Is there anything you girls like?" the staff member asks the group.

Some of the members start thinking of an answer, but the others already have their minds made up.

"An all-you-can-eat buffet!"

"A trip to a theme park!"

"Rent a cinema, maybe?"

"Ooh! Let's go overseas!"

Those are some of the answers the girls excitedly shout out, their enthusiasm shooting through the roof.

The entire staff bursts into laughter at their liveliness and shared excitement.

"I guess we'll have to discuss that later," the staff member says with a smile.

"Alright!" Hayoung replies, pumping her fist in the air.

"I'm actually kinda excited now," Gyuri admits, a joyous look on her face.

"Me too," Jisun adds.

"So please do your best, everyone," the staff member encourages.

Saerom nods, looking determined. "Of course."

The other members nod, too.

The rest of the staff then carries, in front of them, a ballot box. Colorful envelopes can be seen inside the transparent box.

"Wow! So pretty," Jiheon exclaims, her eyes gleaming with excitement.

"That's cute," Nagyung agrees, a smile forming on her face.

"Everyone, please take turns drawing an envelope," the staff member instructs, gesturing towards the box.

The girls eagerly step towards the box one by one, reaching into the ballot box. They then head back to their original spots, envelopes in hand, excitement radiating from each of them. Some are careful in picking their envelopes, while some are swift and waste no time… And some play around with their selection.

All the members seem eager to open the envelopes and reveal the contents. But everyone is waiting for a signal, patiently, as their anticipation builds.

"Please remember that you shouldn't reveal the contents of your envelopes to anyone," the staff member reminds them.

Everyone responds in affirmation as they grip their envelopes tightly, excitement and curiosity swirling in their eyes.

"Okay. You can open your envelopes now."

The members rip open their envelopes, their eyes meticulously scanning the contents.

"Oh. So this is just instructions to where we should head for," Chaeyoung asks, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

The staff member nods. "Yes. You will be informed about the challenge once you reach your designated location."

She nods back in understanding. "I see…"

"I hope the missions are fun!" Saerom exclaims with a grin on her face.

"I'm more hoping that they're easy," Gyuri chuckles, crossing her fingers.

"That too!" Saerom adds, laughing along with her.

"Ugh! I'm getting nervous!" Seoyeon whines, hopping from foot to foot.

"Pretty sure you can do it," Hayoung reassures her, giving Seoyeon a comforting pat on the back.

"How cute," Nagyung murmurs, giggling at the two.

"So, is everyone ready?"

Everyone responds in unison, their voices filled with anticipation.

"We're ready!"

"Yes!"

"Let's go!"

"The Spotlight Challenge has started! Again do your best, everyone!" the staff member announces as she cheers them on.

"Thank you!" In response, the girls bowed to everyone in gratitude.

Each member then reviewed their instructions and began looking around, figuring out where to go.

"Hmmm… I guess I should be going here," Jisun muses to herself, reading the directions on her instructions sheet as she walks off.

"Hey, unnie!" Jiheon calls out to her. "Are you going?"

Jisun turns around and nods. "Ah! Uhmm... Yes."

"Wait! I'm coming with you!" Jiheon decides, running up to join Jisun on their journey.

On the other hand, the rest of the group continued to figure out their destinations.

"Well… I think I'm heading this way," Seoyeon says, pointing opposite to Jisun's direction.

"You're heading there, too?" Hayoung asks her curiously, glancing at her own instructions.

Seoyeon just nods with a sheepish smile.

"Yay! Let's go together!" she excitedly screams as she hugs her.

"Hey! I’m also heading there too!" Nagyung adds, joining in on the hug.

As the trio embraced each other tightly, the remaining members were still working out the instructions given to them.

"If this is here, then…" Gyuri mumbles. "Then this one is… Hmmm…"

"I guess I should be going… This way?" Chaeyoung says, scratching her head in confusion as she tries to decipher the instructions.

"Huh? Chaeyoung-ah," Gyuri calls out.

"Yes, unnie?"

"Are you leaving already?"

"Yeah, I think so," Chaeyoung responds, looking unsure.

"Okay. Do your best, then!" she encourages her, waving her hand at her.

"Will do! Thank you!" Chaeyoung replies cheerfully, waving back at Gyuri. "See you later!"

Suddenly, Jiwon appears behind her, as if peeking at her unnie's instructions. Gyuri quickly spots her and hides her envelope, giving Jiwon a playful glare.

"What are you doing?" the older girl asks, pretending to be annoyed.

"What?" Jiwon acts coy, smiling as if she's innocent. "I'm doing nothing?"

"You aren't supposed to peek at my directions," Gyuri scolds her, wagging her finger at Jiwon.

"No, I'm not," she continues her innocent act, blinking her eyes innocently at Gyuri.

But Gyuri sees through her act and playfully pinches Jiwon's cheek.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Unnie!" Jiwon yelps as she feigns pain.

"Come on now, don't be sneaky," she says with a smirk.

"I'm not! Really!" Jiwon insists, rubbing her cheek dramatically.

Gyuri chuckles. "Alright. Where are you heading?"

"I'm heading that way," she points to the huge building behind the filming crew.

"Ooh. That looks big."

"I bet that's the main building."

"Seems like it. Yeah."

Suddenly, Saerom spots the two, approaches them, and joins in on the conversation.

"So, where are you going?" she asks.

Gyuri is the first to answer, pondering her options.

"I think I'll head to that building and ask around," she says, pointing to the same building Jiwon had mentioned earlier.

"Me too," Jiwon adds, nodding in agreement. "I think my challenge is somewhere in that building."

"I see…" Saerom replies, nodding at their answers.

"So where will you go?" asks Jiwon.

"Me?"

The two other girls nod expectantly.

"Same as you two. To that building," Saerom answers, confirming their choice.

"Oh. Then we all should go together," Gyuri suggests with a smile.

"Yes! Let's all go!" Jiwon exclaims excitedly, grabbing onto Gyuri and Saerom's arms.

Now with all the nine members of fromis_9 walking off in different directions, the view then shifts to a drone shot, showing the immense size of the complex, before showing a slo-mo view from each camera team that follows every member towards their respective destinations. Nervousness and excitement can be read on their faces, adding anticipation for the upcoming events.

All of a sudden, a brief montage teasing the future episodes plays. It showcases the members meeting new people, strategizing for their challenges, and lots of pure, unadulterated sex—the girls letting out screams and moans no one has probably heard. Your heart skips a beat as you process what you just saw. Doing sexy projects might not be new to them at this point, but nothing that's as bold and intense as this is.

You can't deny the creeping sense of unease that you're suddenly feeling. Yet, at the same time, it's an undeniable fact that you are getting excited and eager to see more.

Finally, the screen fades out, leaving you excited to review all of fromis_9's thrilling new series.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Author’s Notes:

I'm back... I guess? 😅 I apologize for the sudden absence that took more than a year. I left everyone without saying a word. And with that, I would like to make up with a huge series starring all of fromis_9.

Yes. Including Gyuri. 🍊

As ambitious as this might be, and given the fact that I'm not the most creative writer with the most amount of creative juice there is, I'm gonna try and sprinkle a few other stories featuring other idols in between... Just to add variety, and to not bore myself (and everyone) with just one group.

And, yes. I know. I still have 6 more Girls' Generations to write a story about. We'll get there when we get there, okay? It'll happen... When it happens. 😂

A huge thanks to @braaan for the poster! You are too kind. 🫂

And with that, thank you very much for reading! 🙇

[perfectsunlight]

( 𝟰𝟬 ) ✏ the variable

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: NONE.

word count: 3k

𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀: 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘃𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲

jennie left early the next morning because of her flight to paris, bidding both you and minjeong goodbye with nothing but a mere “behave.” you rolled your eyes playfully, waving as she closed the door behind her.

“breakfast?” you asked the blonde, a small smile playing on your lips. it was hard not to smile with the girl of your dreams in front of you.

minjeong simply nodded, her own smile mirroring yours. “sure.”

you made toast and eggs while minjeong brewed coffee, the kitchen filled with the comforting aroma and the soft hum of the radio playing in the background. after eating, you both went back upstairs to your bedroom in order to begin studying.

at least, you tried to get back to studying. it was definitely hard to do so when your mind kept drifting back to your dazed memory of minjeong kissing your forehead last night.

and now, with her fully engrossed in her studying, you found it unbearably attractive. 

the way her brow furrowed in concentration, the slight bite of her lower lip as she read through her notes, and the occasional absent-minded twirl of her pen all made it hard to focus on your own work.

“y/n?” minjeong’s voice broke through your thoughts, her eyes meeting yours with a hint of concern. you immediately snapped out of your daydreaming, body fully tensing. “yeah,” you admitted, trying to shake off your wandering thoughts. “sorry, i got distracted. let’s take a break?”

minjeong nodded, stretching her arms above her head as she stood up. “good idea.” she glanced at the clock on your wall and calculated that you two had been studying for about three hours now. it was almost 1:00 pm. the two of you would need to eat again soon.

“are we going to make something for dinner?” the blonde asked as the two of you walked downstairs together. you looked over your shoulder and shrugged lightly. “whatever you feel like doing. if anything, we can always order something if we’re too tired later.”

in the kitchen, you rummaged through the pantry and fridge, gathering some fruits, crackers, and cheese. you arranged them on a plate, and the two of you settled at the kitchen island, munching on your makeshift snack.

fortunately, you were able to keep your thoughts at bay for the rest of the afternoon. 

by the time the sun had set, you and minjeong decided to just order food since you two were exhausted after studying all day. the day had gone by smoothly, and minjeong had agreed to spend the entire week with you.

it felt nice, it felt intimate. it felt like maybe minjeong did see you as more than just a friend.

you certainly saw her as more than a friend the moment you saw her out of the shower with tousled blonde hair and smelling like your shampoo. truth be told, you wished finals week was longer so you could enjoy having her over like this for just a bit longer. 

the next day, it was minjeong’s turn to feel distracted. she first felt her thoughts slipping when she woke up with her arms around you again. your soft features in the morning light sent her heartbeat racing and did not stop, even when you two began studying.

even when you were in the kitchen making lunch, she couldn’t take her eyes off you. the way you moved, the small smiles you gave her when you caught her staring, made her heart flutter. she found herself wishing to be closer, feeling her stomach do flips when her hand brushed against yours as you handed her a plate. the urge to kiss you was overwhelming, but she never gave in. not when you leaned against her shoulder to watch a review video, or when you fell asleep during it and she felt your gentle breathing against her neck.

by midweek, the tension was almost unbearable.

you were both aware of it, the unspoken feelings hanging in the air. studying was a good distraction for you both since it allowed you two to occupy your minds with something other than each other. 

everything felt more unbearable once you two would wind down after you had finished studying for the day. 

today you almost did it. it almost happened — you almost kissed minjeong.

you were sitting on the couch, a movie playing in the background as you both pretended to pay attention. your mind kept wandering to the blonde, her proximity driving you crazy. ever since she had spent the night, you let her borrow some of your clothes and it drove you insane. the sight of your tutor in your loungewear sent butterflies to your stomach.

and on the other hand, it was driving minjeong equally insane. the scent of your perfume on your clothes made it all the more harder for her to keep her emotions and thoughts to herself.

you turned to her, your eyes meeting, and for a moment, you were sure you were going to kiss her. but the moment quickly passed when she looked away, causing your feelings to become even more scrambled.

that night, as you closed your eyes and curled into the blonde’s chest, you could have sworn you felt her breath against your lips for a few moments until she pulled away. 

in the morning, it became too overwhelming and minjeong finally said something. but little did you know, you had some sort of hand in that.

you had taken a bit longer to get ready today, and it was obvious why. your hair was done extra nicely, along with light makeup and the same perfume that you always wore. it wasn’t too over the top, but it was just enough to hopefully make the blonde lose focus.

and it surely did.

you made it a deliberate point to be closer than usual today. sitting next to her at breakfast, and even being right next to her when you studied too. at first, you thought it was a hopeless effort since you got no reaction from the other girl.

however, it was around noon when she finally folded and said something.

the blonde suddenly stopped writing and looked up at the ceiling. “i can’t focus,” minjeong admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. your head turned to the direction of her voice and you could visibly see she was struggling.

“why?” you whispered back, eyes wandering over her figure for any clues. the other girl was usually well composed and not easily distracted. you thought it was maybe due to stress, but you definitely were not expecting her actual answer.

the president looked directly at you, eyes not wavering once from your face as she whispered.

“because i want to kiss you, y/n.” 

your heart skipped a beat, your own book forgotten as you looked at her. the air between you felt charged like electricity, the tension from the week finally reaching its peak. you leaned in, your forehead resting against hers, your breaths mingling.

“me too,” you whispered back, your voice trembling. you could feel her breath on your lips, so close yet so far. the desire to kiss her was overwhelming, but you hesitated, afraid of crossing that line.

the other girl’s hand cupped your cheek, her thumb brushing against your skin. “after finals?” she suggested, her voice soft and hopeful. she knew if she were to kiss you now, the both of you would not be able to study any longer.

you nodded, your heart swelling with both relief and anticipation. “after finals.” mentally, you thanked her for once again being the more logical one. 

you both leaned back, the tension easing slightly, but the promise of what was to come hung in the air, a sweet anticipation that made the wait almost unbearable.

the last day of studying was the hardest. 

the week had flown by, and the looming finals added an extra layer of stress. you were both on edge, the tension between you thicker than ever, and anticipation was overflowing for both school and your kiss. 

you were sitting on your bed, reviewing notes, when minjeong suddenly closed her book and looked at you with determination.

“you will pass tomorrow, i know you will.” she said with confidence. you both had spent 12 hours studying today, all just reviewing and quizzing each other. minjeong didn’t have to take her finals, but she wanted to. 

“even if i had your grades, i wouldn’t take my finals.” you groaned as you rubbed your eyes. “you're way more demented than i am. i still can't believe you're voluntarily signing up for this torture.”

minjeong chuckled softly, her eyes glinting with amusement. “it's not torture.” she gently flipped over another flashcard. “one more review round?” she suggested.

 you managed a tired smile. “i appreciate it. really, i do. but right now, all i can think about is sleep.” the clock on your wall read the time at around 10 pm, and the blonde hummed in agreement upon realizing the hour it was.

“fair enough. let’s get some sleep.”

the next morning, jennie had called you to wish you good luck. since the exams would be graded instantly, she also wanted to know your scores the moment you received them, as well. both you and the president knew this was the moment of truth.

it was do or die, but you felt like you were dying.

“what if i fail–” you started again, your voice laden with worry as you walked side by side with minjeong towards the exam hall. the morning air was crisp, and the campus was starting to bustle with other students making their way to their own finals.

“you won't.” minjeong interrupted firmly as she walked with you. the two of you both had exams at the same time, so you would not see each other until the afternoon. she glanced at you with a reassuring smile. “you've put in the work, studied hard, and i've seen how much effort you've poured into this. trust me, you're going to do great.”

you sighed, feeling a mix of nerves and gratitude. “thank you. for everything, really.” it was obvious that you would not even be here without the other girl. she had done so much for you, and you couldn’t wait to do well.

you also couldn’t wait to kiss her after your finals were over.

as you reached the entrance of the building where your first final would take place, you exchanged a quick hug and wished each other luck. it was comforting to know that even though you wouldn't see minjeong until later that afternoon, her support was still with you.

once the doors unlocked, you entered the exam hall, nerves fluttering in your stomach. to be honest, you had never actually been nervous for an exam. this was the first time you truly felt the pressure of the moment in real time. the room was already filling up with students, some deep in last-minute revision while others sat quietly, mentally preparing themselves.

finding your seat, you settled in and took a few moments to review your notes one final time. the doors closed behind you with a soft click, signaling the start of the exam. 

—

never in your life had you felt so mentally exhausted. to be honest, your brain felt like it had been turned into mush. your feet carried you to the front of the room once your score had been calculated for all three of your exams. once your eyes met the paper, you actually bolted out of the exam hall and nearly ran into a few students on the way out. 

you needed to find minjeong. 

darting down the sidewalk in the courtyard, you whizzed past different buildings and corridors. you knew the other girl’s exams finished at the same time yours did, meaning she would be out already by now.

suddenly, you saw a head of blonde hair and a recognizable sweater that was actually yours. 

“minjeong!” you shouted, barreling towards the president with your final report card in your hand. she turned around, her face breaking into a wide grin as she saw you approaching.

the mentioned blonde turned around at the sound of your voice and smiled instantly. “there you are!” minjeong exclaimed as she reached out and pulled you into a tight hug. she held you close for a moment before stepping back to look at you. “how did it go? how are you feeling?” her eyes scanned your face for any sign of distress.

you took a deep breath, trying to gather your thoughts amidst the rush of emotions. with a shaky hand, you held up your report card for her to see.

final gpa: 3.3

“y/n,” minjeong grinned with pride. “you did it!” she pulled you in for another tight hug, which you eagerly reciprocated. “yeah,” you chuckled softly, feeling a sense of relief and joy wash over you. “we did it.”

the president leaned back slightly, her hands still resting on your shoulders as she gazed at you with admiration. “i never doubted you for a second,” she said earnestly, her voice filled with warmth.

you felt a rush of gratitude for her unwavering belief in you. “thank you, minjeong,” you whispered, your heart swelling with emotions you couldn't quite put into words. for the past two years, you felt like a failure. 

yet here you were, finishing with the greatest grades you’ve had throughout your university career.

she smiled softly, her thumb brushing lightly against your cheek. “let's celebrate properly,” minjeong suggested, her tone playful yet sincere. “dinner's on me tonight, and then maybe we can go get that ice cream you like afterwards.”

“i'd like that,” you replied, feeling a sense of accomplishment settle over you. you had both worked tirelessly for this moment. it felt good, it felt rewarding.

the blonde took your hand in hers and turned to pull you both away, but you stopped and tugged her back towards you. “but first,” you whispered as you stuffed your report card into your pocket before placing a hand on her (your) sweater. 

“kiss me, minjeong.”

without hesitation, the president leaned in closer, her hand gently cupping your cheek as her lips met yours in a soft, lingering kiss. she tasted like peach chapstick, sweeter than you could have ever imagined.   

as you pulled back slightly, your foreheads touching, minjeong's eyes sparkled with happiness. “i've been wanting to do that for so long,” she admitted softly. you simply smiled softly, feeling a rush of warmth rush to your cheeks. 

“i'm glad you did,” you replied softly, brushing your thumb lightly against her cheek. the taste of peach chapstick lingered on your lips, a subtle reminder of this moment that felt like a dream come true.

the other girl leaned in again, pressing another gentle kiss to your lips, her touch tender and full of sincere emotions. it was as if everything you both had been feeling for each other had finally gotten the chance to express itself.

when she pulled back, minjeong rested her forehead against yours once more, her fingers tracing gentle circles on the back of your hand. “i've been wanting to tell you how i feel,” she whispered, her voice filled with vulnerability and honesty. “you make me feel things i’ve never felt.”

you felt a surge of happiness and gratitude. “i feel the same way,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “i can’t think of anything but you. even during my exams i kept thinking about you.”

“y/n,” minjeong whispered with a half smile and eyes full of adoration for only you. “will you be my girlfriend?”

your heart swelled with joy at her question, knowing without a doubt what your answer would be. “yes,” you replied softly, your voice steady despite the butterflies in your stomach. “i would love to be your girlfriend, minjeong.”

relief and happiness washed over the blonde’s face, and she pulled you into another loving embrace. “i'm so glad,” she murmured against your ear, her words filled with sincerity. 

“plus, if you said no, i would have gotten 100 roses for nothing.”

you wrapped your arms around her with a laugh, feeling like everything had fallen into place perfectly. “would you still give them to me if i said no?” you joked, resting your head against her shoulder, breathing in the comforting scent of her hair. 

“of course, i got them for you. why would i give another girl flowers?” minjeong replied matter of factly, brushing some hair off your face. 

“you know other girls?” you teased, gently rubbing your nose against hers. she chuckled softly, her eyes sparkling with amusement. “maybe a few,” minjeong admitted with a playful grin, her fingers tracing light patterns on your back. “but no one compares to you.”

you felt a rush of warmth at her words, grateful for her sincerity and the way she made you feel special. “good answer,” you teased back, unable to resist leaning in to kiss her again.

despite the banter, it was a true statement. the president had spent countless hours trying to figure out why you were so different. why did she care so much about you? she had friends she cared about, but she didn’t care about them the way she cared about you.

she was always good with school, not emotions. naturally she had tried explaining herself in numbers and symbols because it made more sense. 

in math, a variable is a symbol, usually a letter, that represents an unknown number or quantity in an equation, expression, or formula. she had her constants, both you and herself. but there was a variable missing for so long. however, the answer was in front of her the whole time. 

the missing variable was love. it was so obvious that she had overlooked it. the answer was simple.

minjeong loved you, and you loved minjeong. 

–

“i love you, minjeong.” — kim y/n, class of 20XX

“i love you more, y/n.” — kim minjeong, class of 20XX

𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒏𝒅.

a/n: we've made it to the end!! thank you so much for supporting this series <3 i hope you look forward to what else i have in store!

𝗧𝗔𝗚𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧: @silantryoo @forever-in-the-sky2 @rosiehrs @urfriendlylocalidiot @chaewonluvsme @zhivaxo @baebeefyburrito @jisooftme @winterlve @mina1vr @rgxjsss @uzumakioden @bexisbomb @tzuyuscloud @cwpiqwon @dream-chasers-things @demtions @sewiouslyz @jeindall777

@writingficsblog @ad0rechuu @lauxymy4 @awkwardtoafault @popstaryunjin @hibernatinghamster @tocupid @myothegreat @yerevies @alexxis10 @sighsam @ddeulgiheree @kikelikesmc @ddoxhan @justalittledissociation @jenaissantex @captivq @lea-pg @skisk1 @justme-idle @neuftaeng

CLOSED.

[samkerrworshipper]

sticker chart | kyra cooney cross & reader x arsenal women’s team

r and kyra r the pranksters of the team… but what happens when they take it too far and the arsenal parents seperate them as a result

no warnings just some fluff angst and chaotic bestfriend energy

“Kyra, Y/n, time out, right now.”

It was Steph’s burst of anger that had your eyes bursting open, both you and Kyra sharing an apprehensive glance. The both of you looked up from your current predicament, which was the drink bottle that you’d just emptied onto Alessia’s head. Her jaw was almost on the ground, and her body was shaking already from the cold water.

In a split second telepathic decision you and Kyra made the decision to bolt, sprinting away from the training ground and your teammates as fast as possible, the both of you cackling as you made it into the safety of the London Colney gym, running as fast as possible into the team room and the both of you searching for a hiding spot.

“In the cupboard.”

Kyra motioned towards the cupboard in the corner of the gym, the long rectangular cupboard being just large enough for the two of you, so you squeezed into it, just closing the door in time to hear a series of footsteps running towards the gym.

The both of you held your breath, holding in the laughs that were building up in the bottom of your stomach.

The two of you were trouble. Always setting up pranks and getting on the nerves on your senior babysitters. Majority of your pranks were centred around Vic and Alessia, the two of you taking advantage of the younger, innocent girls who were so easy to target. It got you in a lot of trouble, especially with Steph, Caitlin, Kim, Leah and Viv, who were stretched thin trying to stop whatever menacing plans that you and your best friend were plotting.

It was a pointless task, the two of you were unstoppable, and always finding yourselves in trouble. It had gotten to a point where you’d been separated indefinitely in training, and the two of you were on your last chance at Steph’s house, being told that the next time you shaved her dog in the middle of the night or woke her and her fiance up with screaming noises. The two of you for whatever reason just couldn’t stop, you were invincible in the world of pranks and it was completely destructive to the Arsenal community, no one was safe.

The both of you bit down on the insides of your cheeks as you heard the doors to the gym open, and a pitter patter of cleats tapping against the floor of the gym.

“The both of you have three seconds before all of your tv privileges and cheat days are taken away for the next month.”

You shook your head at Kyra, whos eyes bursted open at the mention of the removal of your cheat days, Kyra, for whatever reason, had been craving deep fried chicken and a icecream sundae. It was weird, and normally every Thursday you had a cheat day, so her craving could be relieved, but last Thursday the video review, for whatever reason, had gone over by two hours, so by the time it was over it was far past the time window of getting food, leaving a very grumpy and hangry Kyra who was desperate for the foodher body was craving.

Cheat days were her weakness, so you pulled her hand down before she had the opportunity to open the cupboard doors and reveal your hiding spot to Steph.

“1.”

Kyra’s body shook against your own, her bones jumping inside of her body in an attempt to try and leave the box that you’d inserted yourself.

“I swear to god if I get to three and neither of you are out here I’m calling mini and Sam.”

That was definitely another weakness for the two of you, the both of you slightly terrified of the idea of your seconds moms getting a call about your less than adequate behaviour.

“2.”

Steph’s voice loitered, she was leaving room for the two of you to come out.

You were stubborn, Kyra was not, you fought to keep her from fighting her way out of the cupboard, but it was a losing battle, that had the two of you tumbling out of the wooden box and leaving you completely vulnerable to Steph, who marched her way over to the two of you immediately.

“I’ve had enough of you two today, your going to go to the lockerooms, sit in your cubby for twenty five minutes and think about your fucking behaviour before you go and apologise to Vic and Less, am I clear?”

With Steph’s towering form above you, neither of you were in any position to refuse, so you just nodded like kicked puppies and picked yourselves up from the floor, dragging your feet towards the locker rooms, your bodies slowly moving like prisoners walking into a jail.

When you got to the locker rooms, the both of you walked over to your respective cubbies, sitting down and facing the wall.

It was a fairly common occurrence for you two, you spent probably eighty percent of all your time at London Colney besides training in your cubby, at least one training a fortnight saw you here, if not more. You didn’t really mind, it was worth it considering all the fun you and Kyra got up too.

Replacing Leah’s shampoo bottle with pink hair dye, stealing all of the girls clothes whilst they were in the showers, tying everybody's cleats together, mixing up all of the jerseys in the laundry room, replacing the water jugs with apple cider vinegar, replacing all the name tags on the secret santa gifts, taking Alessia’s beloved car for a joyride, showing up to training on moon boots and crutches, faking running away.

The list was endless, concerningly. It got you into trouble, for sure, but for you guys it was some light hearted fun, your way of keeping yourselves entertained in a foreign country that was still new to you.

You could hear Kyra thinking from the other side of the room, out of the two of you she was the more remorseful one, but she was also the plotter and cheekier one. You ran along with whatever she came up with, and your commitment to whatever plan she had was unmatched, once you decided you were doing something you committed.

“Kyra for fucks sakes stop the tapping.”

It was driving you insane, listening to Kyra’s fingers tapping against the wall of her cubby, one of her anxious habits.

“Time out is silent time, speak up again and I’ll start the timer over.”

You tried to block out Steph’s voice, but it hung over you like a big grey cloud, your brain silently drowning itself in your skull as you studied the uniform wall that was the inside of your cubby. It was exceptionally boring, and it didn’t seem to matter how many times the two of you found yourselves in this situation, it was still as boring as ever.

You listened out for people coming in and out of the locker rooms, the door swinging open and the sound of studs against concrete. You weren’t rewarded with the sound of voices or conversation, everyone who filtered in being silent. It was hard to monitor who was coming in and out with your vision completely compromised.

You sat as still as you could manage, not at all wanting to have to sit for any longer than what Steph had already ordered you.

You didn’t doubt that she would reset the timer if you did speak up again, Steph was a softie, but she never let up on a promise, especially when it came to taking care of you and Kyra, something that you knew she was getting sick of, the both of you toeing the line constantly.

It did get you thinking, sure a harmless prank was fun, Katie was the biggest supporter of your pranks, always egging the two of you on from the sidelines, and yet she never got in trouble for it, it was always you and Kyra, the troublesome duo that had been adopted by the Arsenal parents.

“Both of you, turn around.”

You took a deep breath, shuffling around on your ass and blinking to adjust to the bright lights that were a vast contrast to the darkness of the corner of your cubby.

You were rewarded with the sight of Steph, Caitlin, Viv, Kim and Leah all with their jaws set and looking at you with significant disapproval. Alessia and Vic were loitering at their own lockers, sitting in the seats in front of them their hands and heads pointing down towards their laps.

“We’re sorry?”

Steph’s frown only managed to deepen, it was clear that she was nothing short of furious.

“You’re sorry? The two of you have single handedly pulled a series of completely destructive pranks that have taken it too far. Do I need to bring up the chalk spray paint on Manu’s car? Or the midnight door knocking at Stina and Amanda’s house? We’ve all given you chances, all enabled you to have a little bit of fun, but you’ve pushed it way past the point of funny.”

Kyra just closed in on herself, you had a little bit more fight in you, a little bit more defiance.

“We didn’t even do anything that bad today.”

Steph’s eyebrows rose even more than you thought humanly possible.

“That’s a joke right?”

You bit your lip, tossing up the day's events in your mind.

“I mean I don’t understand why Vic is here to be honest, Lessi whatever but we didn’t do anything to Vic.”

Steph blinked at you, her jaw almost dropping to the floor.

“So throwing Vic’s shoes on the roof of the building was nothing?”

You snorted as you recalled Kyra and your happenings of the mornings, which had included tossing a pair of Vic’s shoes on the roof, not to say that you didn’t get them down when the time came around for her to need them.

“We gave them back?”

This time it wasn’t Steph who answered your question, Caitlin stood up from her seat Walking closer towards you.

“You should be fucking glad you did. Look, I understand, you guys are young and you like to have fun, but it constantly being at the expense of everyone else is getting annoying, and neither of you have made any motions to stop or even begin to think about how your fucking pranks affect everybody else, Steph is stressed out of her mind having to babysit the two of you twenty four seven, we all are.”

You could feel the conversation leading somewhere, Kyra’s puppy dog eyes were pleading with Caitlin but her tough guy act didn’t fade.

“I’m getting the feeling that this is leading to something and I just want to put it out there that I dibs anywhere but Chelsea if we have to move clubs.”

Caitlin just rolled her eyes at your attempt at humour, it was humour hidden behind genuine fear, because there was no way in fucking hell you were trading breezy arsenal for Sammy’s Chelsea, where you knew she would drill sergeant you and Kyra into being boring and non pranksters.

“You know what we all have every right to send you off to Sam, how do you think she’d react hearing about all the shit that the two have you have gotten up to?”

She’d probably go ballistic. She’d gotten a taste of you and Kyra’s trouble making at the women's world cup and had very quickly put a stop to it, nipping it in the bud before it got to your current spiral.

“But you aren’t?”

You noticed from the corner of your eye that Kyra was looking very stressed from her corner of the room.

“Ky, come here.”

You opened up your arms to your best friend, unbothered as to whether or not you were disrupting Caitlin’s spiel, you were just worried about your friend. She slid her way across the benches until she made it to your side, digging her head into your neck and shoulder.

“No, we’re not, but honestly I think you’d prefer to stay with Sam then what you’re going to be dealing with.”

You visibly cringed, there wasn’t a lot of things that were worse than being in Sam’s bad books. You let your eyes flash across to the other captains and women who were in the room, aware that they were probably a part of whatever plot Caitlin and Steph had formed. Your curiosity peaked as you squinted at Caitlin, your anxiety spiking a little bit.

“W-what do you mean?”

Kyra’s voice quivered from your neck, her soft puppy dog pout hopefully doing wonders to convince the older women to back out of whatever they had planned. It was her signature move, and you were fairly sure that Steph would see through it, but there was always a point in trying.

“You’re both moving out of Steph’s, it’s not fair to her anymore to be burdened with the both of you. So Kyra, your going to Leah and Lia, Y/n you are staying with Beth and Viv.”

Your jaw slackened, Kyra jerking up in your arms as soon as the words left her mouth.

“What? You can’t separate us, we’re like conjoined twins, we’ll like die if you separate us.”

Caitlin kept up her stern facade, leaving zero room for vulnerability.

“You should have thought about that before you chose to take it too far. We’ve given you plenty of chances and you blew every single one off. So until the two of you can learn how to cohabitate without causing serious danger to the people around you, you’ll be separated. Beth and Lia have already been over to Steph’s house and collected your things. You both have sticker charts, when the two of you can go a whole two months without any seriously debilitating pranks then we’ll look at potentially letting the two of you move back in together.”

Kyra’s eyes lit up at the mention of a sticker chart, you were focused on your dignity, so even if the idea of shiny gold stickers did appeal to you, you tried to fight it.

“A fucking sticker chart? We’re not fucking six year olds and last time I checked this is a free country, so who says that you guys can control who and where we live anyway?”

This time it was Kim who stood up, intimidating both you and Kyra slightly.

“You’re acting like bloody six year olds. Last time I checked neither of you own apartments, neither of you have earned that kind of responsibility. So you are going to suck it up, your going home with a trusted adult and if you even try to pull anymore of the shit you’ve been pulling for the last few months there will be calls to Sam and Minnie who I have no doubt will have a lot more to say. Am I clear?”

Kyra and you nodded deftly, the both of you taken aback by Kim’s sterness.

“Do we get gold star stickers?”

You rolled your eyes at Kyra’s question, her big doe eyes peaking out of your neck to look at Kim.

“You can have whatever fucking stickers you like, I doubt they’ll be any need for them any time soon considering just how much trouble seems to find the two of you.”

You and Kyra played the pitiful act as you were led away by your respective caregivers, faux tears falling down your faces as Leah and Viv practically dragged you in the direction of their cars.

As soon as the car doors closed though and the babysitters were focusing their energy on the roads though, the two of you were already texting, plotting your next move in retaliation to the banishment that had the two of you grounded to Viv and Leah’s homes.

———————————————————————

notes:

thinking of turning this into a series of kyra and t just being completely chaotic besties so lmk how we feel about that !

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Don't Speak 52 - Finale

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, obsession, stalking, manipulation, reclusive behaviour, disordered eating, dissociation, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Reader is a reclusive loner who ventures down to the library on a simple mission. Her task is complicated by the man she meets there. (f!short!reader)

Character: librarian!Andy Barber, Steve Kemp

Note: 🕊️

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me 

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. Take care. 💖

“Alright, one o’clock,” Amber says as she walks into the room. She sets down her phone and you pull the pillow over the tablet to hide it. “Is that enough time?” 

“Sure,” you answer. You don’t have much choice. It has to be done and the sooner, the better. You want it to be done with. All of it. 

As much as you want everything to go back to how it was, you know that even this can’t make it so. Things will always be different. You will always be different. 

“I’m just going to give Curtis a call and check in.” She explains. 

“Right,” you shrug and smile at her. 

You wait for her to leave before you move the cushion. You’re nervous about the appointment. It’s going to hurt probably. You don’t think anything can hurt as much as everything that’s happened in the last few months. 

You tap the screen to wake it up. The library of videos opens and you scroll through. You spent have the night wavering between the delete button and just smashing the tablet. For whatever reason, you can’t do either. 

You close the cover again, still caught in indecision. Once you’ve dealt with the baby, you’ll be able to think. You get up and take the tablet with you to your room. You dress in your old clothes; a pair of faded jeans and an oversized sweatshirt. 

It’s strange being in that place again. You look around at all those things you almost forgot. Amber didn’t change a single piece of it. Your chest sinks as your eyes cling to the window. What did she think when she found you gone? You feel horrid for hurting her like that. 

You sit and pull on socks then rub together your frigid hands. The world around you is both hazy and vivid. You feel every second roll by and yet the colours and the sounds are all so distant. Today is the day. 

You hide the tablet under your pillow and go back out. Amber is on the couch. Her shoulders are almost to her ears. She’s as anxious as you are. 

“Curtis can’t drive us. He’s caught up helping out his buddy.” She explains. 

“Oh, that’s okay,” you shrug. 

“We’ll take my car. He fixed the heating issue so it should hold out,” she says, flicking her thumb against her phone nervously. 

You go to her and sit, “it’ll be okay.” 

She sniffs and sits forward. You feel her look at you, “are you?” 

“I think?” You clutch your knees. “I don’t know. I just feel... sure. Certain.” 

“That’s good. But you know, it’s entirely your choice.” 

“I know and that’s why I’m sure,” you force a tense smile. 

Her phone buzzes. She squints at the screen as she reads. “He said he’ll bring us some dinner. He should be done with Jake by then.” 

You nod and your eyes explore the room. She’s silent, still watching. 

“So much is different,” you murmur. “You know Jake too?” 

“Sure. He helped us. When you sent that message. He found you.” She says. 

You look at her, “found me?” 

“I know. Sneaky.” 

“No, it’s... good.” You lower your head. 

You linger in the lull. It’s not uncomfortable. It’s calm. Patient. There’s a rattle at the window. A strange tapping. You look over and Amber follows the noise too. 

There’s a dove outside looking in. The frost in the window has warmed to condensation in the last days. You stare at its grey feathers as it coos and quorks its head. 

“Spring is close,” Amber says. “The birds are coming back.” 

You stare, hypnotised by the creature. A second dove lands beside it. You read that they often stay in pairs. 

“Well, about an hour and we’ll head out,” Amber gets up. “You need anything, bub?” 

“No, I’m fine,” you assure her and lean back, “I’m just going to close my eyes.” 

She hums and goes into the kitchen. You listen to her as you relax into the couch. You drag your hands up to your stomach. Almost there. 

🕊️

As Amber drives, your eyes catch in the side mirror. You give a start and sit up against the seat belt. You shake off the fright as the grey car behind you slows with the flow of traffic. No, you’re imagining things. 

You lean your arm on the door and hold your head. Amber idles in the clog of the street and taps her fingers on the steering wheel. She looks ahead and clucks. You’re ahead of schedule. You couldn’t stay still and it’s a good thing you left early. 

She continues on in the slog and flips her blinker. She takes a side street away from the dense main way. Before she can circle around the block, a pair of headlights flash in the mirror. You don’t get more than a glimpse of their glare. She pulls through the back entry beside the dumpsters and curls around the front of the clinic. 

“Oof, finally here,” she shifts into park. “You think with the weather getting nicer, more people would walk.” 

“Yeah,” you agree dully. 

Your ears are buzzing. You look over your shoulder at the clinic then back to the fence ahead of you. You exhale. 

“Bub,” Amber says as she shuts off the engine. 

“It’s okay. I’m ready,” you say. “Just... something...” 

Your voice trails off as another car pulls up from the back of the lot. You turn and your chest knots at the familiar grill and emblem. It can’t be. It’s just a coincidence. 

The SUV pulls in next to you and you look up at their tinted window. His silhouette alone is enough to assure you. You reach over and grab Amber’s wrist as she unlocks the door. 

“No, lock them!” You cry out as Andy open’s his car door. 

“Bubba--” She swallows her protest and the locks thunk. “Shit!” 

Andy’s treads his the ground and he slams the door. He looks around, staring at the clinic, then scowls. He bends to look through the passenger window at you. 

“Open up.” He demands. 

“Fuck off!” Amber shoves her hand across you and flips him the finger. “Don’t make me call the police again.” 

“You fucking liar!” He snarls as he hits the window, his voice muffled by the barrier, “I knew you were hiding her.” 

“I said go the fuck away,” she leans over. 

You watch Andy in horror. You shrink down as you tremble. You’re not ready for this. Not for him. 

“Dove, Dove,” his gaze falls and meets yours, “hey, sweetie, let’s talk. I calmed down. Please--” 

You close your eyes and shake your head. 

“She doesn’t want to talk,” Amber snips. 

“Dove, you can’t--” he pauses. “Whatever you’re doing here, don’t do it. Please. We can figure this out. I know what this place is--” 

You shake your head and drone, “no, no, no, no, no, no...” 

“Go away!” Amber barks again and slaps the window. She pulls back and grabs her phone. “I’m calling Officer Jones. How many reports is that, Andrew?” 

“Wait...” you gulp as you open your eyes and grab her arm. “Wait...”t 

“Bub, please--” 

You squeeze and let her go, “he’s my problem. Let me deal with him.” 

“You can’t. He's dangerous. He’ll hurt you--” 

“I don’t care. He can’t hurt me. Not anymore.” You undo your seat belt and take a breath.  

She says your name as you reach for the lock and slide it up. The door opens from the other side. Amber latches on as you try to get out. You tug and pull away. 

You get out and close the door. Andy crowds you between the cars, his hands on your shoulders at once, sliding up to cradle your face. 

“Sweetie, sweetie, I was so afraid--” 

You grasp his wrists and lean away as he tries to kiss you. 

“Don’t touch me,” you yanks his arms down and shove him. He’s big and strong. You almost forgot that. Still, he does as you tell him. His eyes are bloodshot and his face pale. 

“Honey,” he begs. 

“No.” 

“What-- what are you doing here?” He rasps and looks over again. “You’re-- you’re-- you have to be. It’s mine, isn’t it?” 

You shake your head. 

“It’s mine. It has to be! I’m the only one. The only one!” He grabs your arms again, “Please, honey, I can take care of you. Both of you. You and the baby.” 

“No!” You exclaim and hit his chest.  

Another car door snaps shut and Amber’s shadow comes around the trunk. You look at her and give her a look. She stops, worry woven above her brow. You face Andy again and push until he stops touching you.  

“It’s not yours and even if it was, I wouldn’t want it. Just like I never wanted you,” you sneer. 

“Dove, you don’t mean--” 

“I mean it,” you hiss. “I hate you. I always hated you but I was afraid.” You hit his stomach and he staggers back. “You’re a bully. That’s all you are.” 

“No, I love you--” 

“No, you don’t!” You holler and stomp your foot. You point at him, “you don’t love anyone. You can’t. I’m not the broken one. You are!” 

“Dove--” he stands straight and reaches for you. You slap his hand away. 

“Don’t touch me. I’m done with you. I don’t want anything to do with you!” 

“You don’t have a choice,” he snarls, his eyes darkening as his expression hardens. “That’s my baby, I have rights--” 

He lunges for you and you cry out. He doesn’t get to you as Amber launches herself between you and tackles him against his car. She’s smaller than him but that doesn’t stop her. She bites his hand as he tries to grab her neck and she jabs two fingers into his ribs. He wheezes and recoils. 

She pushes away and stands between you and him. She keeps you behind her as she stands tall. 

“Try it again.” 

“You can’t do this. You can’t keep me away from her. You can’t kill my child--” 

“It’s not yours!” You shout and peek around Amber. You squeeze her arm and step up next to her. “It’s Dr. Kemp’s. Your friend. The one who helped you hurt me.” 

“No, I didn’t--” he begins. 

“You did. I have proof. I have the videos.” 

“What videos?” He spits. 

“I changed the password,” you say. “You can’t get rid of them now.” 

“No, you’re lying. There’s no--” 

“I have them all. Every single one.” Your eyes overflow. “It’s your name on the account, not mine. The police can figure it out, can’t they?” 

He looks as if he’s been hit again. The lines in his forehead deepens and his mouths slits to a thin line. He glares at you. The way that used to make you do whatever he wanted. Not this time. 

“It’s over. I’m done with you. I never even wanted you, Andy,” you breathe. “No one could ever want you, not even me.” 

He winces and his lips part but nothing comes out. 

“And if you ever come near me or my sister again,” you twine your fingers through Amber’s and cling to her. “I will send those videos to the police.” 

He stares, eyes searching, pleading. You won’t fall for it. He can make himself look pathetic but you don’t believe him. Not anymore. 

He waits. You say nothing. He sniffs and pulls his shoulders back. His jaw grits and his eyes flash. 

“You’re just the same as you always were. Fucked in the head,” he grits and goes to turn. Before he can, you swing your foot up. It’s a low blow, cheap, but you don’t care.  

Your toes meet the front of his pants and he grunts. He staggers and falls to his knees, clutching his crotch as he shudders. You get closer as Amber keeps a hold on your hand. You bend and lower your voice as you get close to Andy’s ear. 

“I never came for you,” you whisper. 

He gurgles and you back up. There’s nothing else to say. You turn and tug on Amber. You walk away without looking back. 

As you get to the door of the clinic, the sun comes out from behind the clouds and beams against the white brick. A cheep tweaks in your ear and you turn to see the sparrows bustling in the barren branches of the bushes. They send up a chatter that fills the air. You can hear it all. You can see it all. Feel it all. 

You keep your grip tight on Amber and reach for the door with your other hand, ready to open it and all the other doors that come after it. You don’t want to hide anymore. You want to fly. 

🕊️🕊️🕊️

I just want to thank everyone who has followed along on Dove's journey. It was bumpy and took a while, and it definitely took a lot out of me (in a good way). I hope you enjoyed this.

Until next time 💗

[frootynovak]

casey + alex vs. smartphones

when bored or taking a break from reviewing her case notes, casey plops down on the couch (most of the time accompanied by a beloved bag of potato chips) scrolling through instagram reels of cat videos that she sometimes sends to alex.

alex calls casey out from the dining table where she’s preparing her cases and yells at her to stop sending her stupid videos because her phone keeps pinging. under grumpy breath, alex opens casey’s messages to watch the videos she sent. she smiles and wonders whether it is time for them to try and adopt a pet.

other things casey does with her smartphone:

1. casey learns new recipes by watching youtube videos so she could impress alex with her cooking skills. she also browses tagged restaurants on instagram reels so she could take alex there if she thinks they’re worth it.

2. she leaves movie reviews on letterboxd, especially if the ending of a movie really upset her

3. when she’s antsy, she plays harvest moon/stardew valley

4. casey has pinterest boards that she updates regularly: “date with alex ❤️”, “small tattoo ideas”, “poems that remind me of alex ❤️”, “stupid memes”

5. she has a reddit account but never posts. she uses it just to read the ridiculously funny and the questionably morbid.

casey’s google search history:

how to handle anxiety symptoms / sous vide vs. pressure cooking / are all orange cats crazy / gone girl actress / is orange from the color or the fruit / do fish pee / is bloodbending illegal / duck penis / date night ideas / is mayonnaise better for grilled cheese / padded sliding mats / jurassic park survival guide / new ways to pleasure your girlfriend / silly cat names / sneaky ways to ask your girlfriend to marry you / will our cat attempt to eat our pet fish if we decide to also keep fish pets / gelato vs. ice cream / what to give wife for first anniversary

things alex does with her smartphone:

(the first thing alex does in the morning after brushing her teeth is checking whether she has important emails that need to be urgently responded to)

1. she has a binaural beats/nature sounds app so she can listen to them to help her with anxiety when casey is not around

2. her mobile games of choice are (a) duolingo - to channel her competitiveness and always get to number 1 on leaderboards; (b) merge cooking; (c) nyt games - to pass time when she can’t sleep

3. casey encouraged alex to start journaling to help relieve some symptoms of anxiety. for convenience, alex uses the notion app as a semi-journal, semi-to-do list. at the end of a tiring day and esp if casey is on a work trip, she scribbles a brief narrative of how her day went and how it made her feel. sometimes, she shares her notes to casey.

4. convenience apps: uber, uber eats, doordash, pocket yoga, skyscanner, wise, paypal, opentable, airbnb, booking.com

5. alex has subscription to both apple music and spotify. she insists that sound quality is better in apple music but spotify’s user interface is friendlier. she has different playlists for each mood, and made playlists for casey. she hasn’t shared all those playlists to her though.

alex’s google search history:

are there any advantages to castling queenside? / how do you politely ask someone for their instagram account but as a friend? / what does it mean when young people say that “this is sending me”? / how to tell your girlfriend you love her without having to say it explicitly? / are intrinsic motivations learned? / what restaurant serves the best grilled cheese in manhattan? / list of fragrances with subtle sillage appropriate to wear at work / what signs to look out for which indicates that your girlfriend wants to marry you? / list of the most romantic places for honeymoon / best galleries to visit while in Barcelona / how hard is it to raise a child?

[thera-daydreams]

GUYS, I'M GOING FREAKING INSANE.

DO YOU SEE THE VISION TOO?!

That idea I had from this post 10 days ago...

I reeeeally wanna write it but I'm supposed to be reviewing! 😭

SCARLET & SHADOW

THE TITLE IN MY HEAD. AND THESE PICTURES TOGETHER.

They're just—ugh, so damn perfect!

And what if the synopsis was:

"No more magic." You swore to yourself after the madness that you'd spiraled into; the chaos you'd wrecked upon the Multiverse under the influence of the Darkhold. Now, you had destroyed the Darkhold in every universe. The last universe that had a Darkhold? Done and safe. Book of the Damned, gone. It was a land with no heroes, gods, or sorcerers... just... normal people and... Grisha? Either way, goodbye Chaos Magic, telekinesis, telepathy, and all that corruption. This would be your atonement. Your repentance for your mortal sins. But when you save and bring three orphaned Grisha children to the Little Palace, working as an otkazat'sya gardener to keep an eye on them, it turns out that a certain shadow summoner begins to have his eye on you, instead.

I CANNOT WITH THIS DARKLING X SCARLETWITCH!READER BRAINROT. 💔

I don't know, guys, should I venture into this idea in the future? I haven't even finished my JJK fic yet! I need braincells and help and support! 😵‍💫

(And y'know, gardener!reader would be so cute! Reminds me of Lizzie's old IG videos. 🥺)

EDIT: OK FINE I DID WRITE IT.

[luckydoeslanguage]

🎏Immersion, its quirks, and tips for language learning this way!

its the 5th of May, so happy children's day! 🎏 I got a question in one of my posts asking for some advice on immersion learning! i thought it would be a good opportunity to talk about immersion in general, my current study(?) routine and perhaps give some useful advice! As the name suggests, Immersion language learning is done primarily by consuming media in your target language. Immersion can seem super intimidating to us learners, mostly cause we can't understand most of the stuff available to us. But! its not impossible to start out using immersion right out of the gate. i think people tend to get scared or go "I'll immerse when i get better at my TL!" But the truth of the matter is, your not going to get used to, or better at your target language unless you consume actual content. (in my opinion.)

Honestly, a lot of immersion learning is being able to tolerate that i probably wont understand everything right away. I will someday, but for now i have to be comfortable with not understanding a lot. which is okay! So, what is my current study routine?

right now, my routine consists of:

doing vocabulary cards on Anki from a premade anki deck.

playing about an hour of Animal crossing everyday

watching 1 - 3 episodes of an anime

watching Youtube videos

weekly (ish) grammar done by reading Imabi, and watching Cure Dolly videos on Youtube.

The bread and butter of my routine is learning vocab, and occasional grammar studies. I'm using the core2k/6k deck. which as the name implies, is an optimized vocab deck that contains the most common 6k JP vocabulary. i currently take 5 new vocab cards a day, and try to get my reviews in everyday. my anki deck has contributed a lot to me being able to immerse so early in my language journey. learning and then reviewing new words everyday lets me recognize words in my immersion. As time has gone on, i can recognize more and more words, and even some words I haven't encountered yet in my deck. Immersion, while still uncomfortable, (especially with complex media) is the other side of the coin. i try to spend double the time i spend on anki, immersing. Mostly because i enjoy what I'm immersing in, but also because i get more out of it the more time i spend immersing.

"that's all well and good Lucky, but what advice would you give to someone who wants to learn this way?"

Well! first of all, and this is very important:

Be comfortable with ambiguity. you may not be able to understand some, or maybe most of the thing you are immersing in. that's okay! Your brain is already looking for patterns to see in your TL, and is growing more accustomed to it. I got a lot of headaches in the beginning, i still do actually. but i know that's my brain working hard! (take a break if you get a headache!!)

Second, and probably just as important:

Follow your interests. make immersion fun! whats the point of immersing if its torturous?! I'm a lot more likely to continue immersing in something if i actually enjoy it. there are a lot of easier anime to immerse in, but if I'm not having fun, I'm not going to learn anything. you should do the same! even if its too difficult to understand. I'm currently watching someone on YouTube play a dating sim, and even though its waaaay above my skill level, I'm really enjoying myself watching it! I've even recognized some words i know. whole sentences, even.

Third:

Be Consistent! This is probably advice you've already heard, but it bears repeating! even if you do something small like listening to a song in your TL, that's immersion babyy :) consistency is key, above all.

Lastly: Track your Immersion. a problem with immersion is it can feel like you are going nowhere. tracking how much time you spend doing an activity, (watching videos, reading, etc) is a great way to make immersion more tangible. lots of people reccomend toggl, but i personally use polylogger. its built with language learners in mind, and is stupidly easy to use. i also keep personal logs in an online diary, as well as here on my blog to measure my progress. it helps!

alright, i think thats everything i have to say for now! if you've made it to the end of this long post, hello! and thank you <3 hope you've had a good day so far! I will leave you with some links to more reading on the subject under the cut, they go into more detail than i have here.

take care for now! またね！

this article by Refold about tolerating ambiguity:

The Moe ways guide to immersion:

Making the leap to Immersion, Video by Cure Dolly: