#WHY IN THE WORLD DO YOU NEED A STRANGER’S VALIDATION ON WHO YOU WOULD BE SHIPPED WITH

[oatbugs]

i feel extremely sorry for you if you are genuinely considering ending a great relationship bc your partner isn’t as “ambitious” as you’d prefer them to be. there is much more to life than school & work… & some people simply value other things, like more free time in their youth. like, you’re only 20? lighten up a little, girly… sheesh.

& for the record, adding “no offense to anyone who picked a diff path hehe!!” to the end of your rant didn’t make it any less offensive to those who chose not to/didn’t have the opportunity to go to school.

first off pls dont "girly" me, my pronouns are literally in my bio.

you found a way to completely misinterpret a personal issue(?) i am going through...amazing king 10/10 . i love my girlfriend To Death and she's so cool and so talented and she does in fact . know where she wants to go in life. and i respect that. the post wasn't abt literally anyone else except my girlfriend and I. it wasn't abt ppl who didn't choose to or didn't have the opportunity to go to school. it was about my girlfriend, who is literally applying for a degree at a university, by choice and opportunity. mein got . "lighten up" i have a wonderful gf and a wonderful passion for what i study...it's sad that u think that's sad.

if u had never had the worry that you and a loved one are on slowly deviating life paths good for you but i promise u it isn't a form of discrimination💀

[mothwingwritings]

C and F for my boy Pickle

Eyyy sorry for the delay! (Yes I am still working on these!!!) Here is some Pickle goodness for you my dear.~<3

WARNINGS: Sex and violence and one love sick feral man.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Pickle would honestly treat you as nicely as he is able too. His living environment has its limitations, but he does everything he can to make it comfortable and inviting for you, adamant about making it a home that is fitting of his mate.

Once you are safely stashed away in his secret abode he sets to work constructing you a nest of things so that you may find pinnacle contentment in your new home. He’s gathered an amalgamation of the softest blankets, clothes, linen, etc. that has been given to him or that he has scavenged, so that you may rest in peace and luxury while in his presence. He also brings you the best cuts of meat after his hunts, though he caught on quickly that you were apt to turn your nose at his bloody, raw offering (he couldn’t quite understand why, he was sure you would love it if you just gave it a chance). Once he picks up on your distaste, he instead begins to hoard ingredients and snacks he steals picks up out in the world, supplying you all manner of foodstuff till he pins down the ones you like.

While Pickle prefers you in your natural state, he understands your body needs protection from the elements. He doesn’t quite get modern fashion, but you seem sad wearing the same thing over and over again. While he’s out he procures a hodge-podge of varying clothing, presenting it to you by dumping it at your feet, a huge dopey grin on his face. He loves seeing you in the clothing he gifts you, you look so beautiful in each and every piece that he can’t help but stare, holding back the urge to rip it right back off and have his way with you.

Pickle won’t mock you and wouldn’t dream of disrespecting you in anyway. Any harm he causes you is either completely unintentional or for your own good. He loses control of himself sometimes, forgetting his own strength. You are just so small and he loves you so much, it’s hard to hold himself back. He hates using his strength against you to prove a point, but if you remain insistent on trying to escape him he will do what he must to protect you. You are HIS mate and HE’S the only one who can take care of you. All that’s waiting for you in this strange new world is danger, so if you won’t stay by his side willingly, he will force you there.

All that said, while you may be relatively safe from Pickle’s more violent tendencies, anyone else most certainly is NOT. If another person approaches you, threatens you, or tries to take you away from him they will be obliterated, decimated, ripped to shreds, torn apart until nothing is left. He’ll bask in the gruesome slaughter, their end another validation that he is the best one for you, the one who loves and can protect you above all others. Doesn’t matter if that person is a stranger or your own mother-he is all you need, anyone else butting in is an unnecessary threat.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

He would find it incredibly charming if you tried to fight him. Pickle doesn’t see it as an act of aggression at all, but views it as you trying to mimic him as a sign of reverence. You think he is so impressive and strong that you strive to be like him, going so far as to challenge him to a fight. It’s adorable, and he can’t help but break out into a huge toothy grin when he sees you assume a fighting stance.

And it excites him- seeing you tense up, clenching your fists and bending your knees, preparing to strike at a moment’s notice. Seconds before the fray, you stare him down with such intensity, sizing him up and calculating what moves you should make against him, gears turning in your head as you focus wholly on him. The fixation on him sends a shiver of anticipation down his spine. He is the only one you are thinking of in that moment, and in turn you are all that is occupying his thoughts.

Your strikes never hurt him and he can tell how much that frustrates you. He’ll play along sometimes to make you happy, yowling like a mother lioness that is being batted by her cub. He’ll cringe at your punch, shy away from your kick. If he’s convincing enough, you sometimes award him with a small smile, a brief look of accomplishment. It warms his heart, knowing you are having as good of a time as he is.

He also relishes the closeness the two of you share when you initiate these little fights. Usually you try and hide away from him, distancing yourself as much as possible whenever he is in the vicinity. At first he thought it was another game you were trying to play with him, something coy, cute, and seductive to grab his attention. But when the chase became a regular thing he was disappointed, why did you put up such a fuss each time your mate tried to approach you? You didn’t even give him a prize when he finally caught you, just flailing and screaming and spitting. It hurt his feelings- this was supposed to be fun.

But the little brawls you had were fun, and they gave him a chance to have you near him without any to-do. He could feel your skin on his, smell your sweat as your body writhed and wriggled against his. Feeling your small hands grab at his hulking form, listening to your strained moans and heavy breathing as you threw your all into attacking him… Witnessing you in such a state, holding you close as your body rubbed his in just the right way, it doesn’t take long for him to completely lose control.

Before you can recognize what is going on, your body is sheathing his cock, previous grunts of exertion quickly turning into wails of pleasure.

He doesn’t understand why you cry so much afterwards, though. Were you not having as much fun as he was? You initiated the fight, why are you so upset at the outcome? It was a good tussle, and judging by the noises you were making, he was able to make you feel good. Even if you struggled a bit when he was trying to enter you, you always end up yielding to him. The fit is tight, and there have been several times he was afraid he would outright break you when he pushed deeper, pressing into your core.  But the pleasure that courses through him as he bottoms out is indescribable. He loses himself in the feel of you surrounding him, completely consumed by the euphoria your body has supplied him.

You are his perfect mate, his brave little warrior, and his love for you is endless. So don’t cry, OK? Maybe next time he’ll let you really ‘win.’ :)

[strongermonster]

little kids really love asking if i'm married.

i don't think it's just me specifically because i hear them ask basically any adult who's in range for more than 15 minutes. they LOVE knowing about that, i don't know why. usually they ask "miss j do you have a boyfriend?" and my answers have always been either 'no', 'yes', or 'no, i have a girlfriend'. and that's that. partly because this is my private life and we're not there to talk about that, partly because they're kids and strangers to me and don't really need to know more, and partly, unfortunately, because just that alone—just a simple "no, i have a girlfriend"—is enough to set some parents off.

even in the middle of a large city in ontario, parents will call to be like "ok so my child said that his female teacher today mentioned having a girlfriend? i'm lodging a complaint because that's so inappropriate." but thankfully the library has backed me up 100% of the time so far and just refused to accept that as a valid complaint. (also when you walk into the library there's a fucking enormous pride flag so like. how'd ya miss that mrs. mom)

but it sorta brings me to one of the biggest issues i have with being around kids is that i just won't lie to them. i'm a FIRM believer in that if a child is old enough to ask a question, they're old enough to get an answer. absolutely cannot stand that "oh when you're older" cop-out bullshit. yes they're going to ask some difficult questions, and yes the answer is going to be sometimes (or even a lot of the time) "i don't know", at which point, in my opinion, the follow up is "let's find out together".

and obviously you need to tailor the answers to be age appropriate. if a 6 year old asks where babies come from, that's going to be a different answer than if a 14 year old does.

but so many people are like "well my belief system doesn't account for that. my religion means we don't talk about that. i don't think my child is old enough for that. my child is a boy/girl and doesn't need to know about that." etc etc.

your child asked that though. which means they're already having thoughts about that. and if YOU aren't answering it, they're going to find out anyways. like no matter how tightly you hold those reins, they're going to ask a friend, or google it, and end up potentially getting a wrong answer. potentially getting a harmful answer. and in what world would you not want

a) the chance to bond and discuss things with your child b) the option to know EXACTLY what information they're getting on a topic because you are the one who gave it to them. c) just knowing that your child loves and trusts you enough to come to you about things d) getting that insight to what's on their mind, what they're going through in life, how they're feeling, what level they're at.

it just baffles me how SO many people underestimate, belittle, refuse to provide for, mistrust, etc their own kids. that the library has to be like "ok so if any of these 6,657 topics come up you just have to subtly change the topic and leave it unaddressed." it's heartbreaking to have a kid ask a valid question and have to basically ignore them.

i get that people are allowed to raise their own kids their own way, and that this is a ~controversial opinion~ i have, but like. it's FRUSTRATING and exhausting. if you're so intent on not letting a child ask questions AND getting mad when they get answers that you personally don't like, why have kids at all

[pumpkzsafeplace]

anon questions 💌: selective mutism in age regression.

selective mutism is when you feel comfortable talking in certain situations- but in others you can't. it can be linked to many things and can just become apparent or stay with you your whole life

i've suffered with selective mutism since i was a child, so here are some pumpkin tips to help <3.

it's okay ⭐

one of the first things i'd like to say is that it's completely okay and valid to have selective mutism. i suffered a lot with it through school and got my fair share of weird looks & hushed remarks.

just remember that it's completely valid, okay <3. we can't control, we don't force it to happen- it just does and it's something we have to live with. don't try and let the mean comments consume you okay? you're not a chore & you're not a burden either.

i thought i'd be lonely forever because of how broken i was- and now i have a positive page that helps people and a adoring boyfriend & caregiver of three years- things do get better <3.

❀•°❀°•❀ notebooks! 🌙

notebooks helped me a lot in school. i was not very verbal with strangers- i think our head master thought i was mute my entire school year & so to communicate with teachers i would use my notebook or leave little comments for them to read at the end of worksheets etc. notebooks can be used to draw illustrations of what you mean, leave notes, start conversations, be a silent form of communication between peers. it's honestly a life saver & helped me through some dark times <3.

❀•°❀°•❀

having a comfort person & space ⭐

my comfort person was a small group of friends i got to know near the end of my school year. before that i would eat & exist alone in either the school libary or in the corners of the school where no one really went. i think one of the downsides of having selective mutism is the loneliness that can follow- especially in an evironment where you need to talk first to create a bond. but just know that you won't be alone forever! your comfort people will come & honestly make you feel like you're euphoric 24/7. having a comfort person/place is almost like a safe heaven when things go bad. they can help order things, communicate your needs, and just protect you on those dark and overwhelming days <3

❀•°❀°•❀ apps & other things that can help. 🌙

when i was in school- i unfortunately didn't have the kind of support that i do now.

but for young honeybees- there is a mountain load to make those dark days a little less scary! there are plently of others but these are my two favourites! > AAC apps: Augmentative and alternative communication apps are avaliable to anyone that suffers with mutism in any form! i tend to use them a lot when i'm overstimulated & having autistic meldtdowns.

one of my favourite apps to use is Leeloo which is avaliable on android & apple! it's been a life saver and for the free version you get a healthy amount of free phrases <3.

> communication cards: these are a great for schools or any environments that don't allow technology! you are bascially have a handful of cards with basic communicational phrases and point to which one you'd like to express!

for me personally, these help best when i'm having panic attacks as the motion of going through and understanding each question helps me take control & ground myself a little easier <3

❀•°❀°•❀ pushing through the guilt. ⭐

the guilt of not being deemed 'normal' was one of the biggest things i had to overcome when i was younger. seeing people my age communicate with strangers so eaisly used to fuel so much anger and fustration because they use to do it so flawlessly- whilst i had to sit in front of a mirror and practice on repeat. but as i grew older and gotten to understand myself a little easier, i've realised that i was born into a world created and designed for people who don't have or suffer with what i go through. so why am i forcing myself to reach unexpected expetations when instead i can put myself & my mentality first and heal <3.

do whatever makes you happy, jump threough hurdles you want to go through and push to make a difference however you want! you don't have to had concured the moon to be somebody in the world.

sometimes just complimenting a stranger can make you the hero you want to be <3.

gif isn't mine

[blueberry-lemon]

Shouting into the Void about Palia, which has begun its open beta.

Palia is a "cozy sim MMO set in a fantasy world", as pitched by the developers at Singularity Six. If I had to set it up in one sentence, I would pitch it as something like "what if an MMO didn't need to have combat?"

Which is something I'm really excited about.

To clarify, I think the MMO term is slightly misleading. When you log on, you're sent to an instance of around 25 players or so, similar to how Sea of Thieves works. For what it's worth, I think this is actually a preferable experience versus being a "true MMO" with hundreds of people crowding around the town area. I think they made the right call.

Although I have some small critiques and some reservations about recommending Palia during its open beta state, I'm having a really fun, relaxing time and I'm really looking forward to how the game grows. Full thoughts below.

--- I'm sure people will be quick to compare Palia to Stardew Valley and Animal Crossing. This is valid, and probably something the developer wants you to do. Like those games, Palia is about relaxing and having a good time in a simple town with charming NPCs.

That said, I think the closest analogs to how Palia works are actually Disney Dreamlight Valley and Yonder: The Cloud Catcher Chronicles. Dreamlight Valley I think is the most direct competition, so to speak. It's funny to see that another developer got to the multiplayer pie before Disney's teams were able to fully add multiplayer, lol.

In Palia, you dress up your character and you customize your home. I think the art is really great, and the animation has really impressed me. There's a great variety of outfits (although to be clear, 30% of clothing options are available from the start and the other 70% is, for now, premium currency only.) There's unfortunately only 2 choices of body type in the Open Beta, although the devs claim that more are coming.

There's a shocking amount of customization for your house and your lawn. At least, picture Animal Crossing: New Horizons but with better controls for dragging and dropping where you want everything. People who like setting up their plot of land will have a good time. You can even expand your property to make it larger.

The core of Palia's loop involves you hopping around between progressing the Main Story and progressing 8 different skills: Cooking, Hunting, Bug Catching, Gardening, Foraging, Fishing, Furniture Making, and Mining. In addition to this, you're progressing your friendship meter with the different NPCs and, if you'd like, selecting one to Romance.

There's some really smart innovations in Palia that I like.

For example, your Mining skill only increases when you PICK UP the ore loot that drops from destroying a vein of ore. Why is that? Because you're supposed to work together with friends and strangers. If the skill increased for each time your pickaxe struck the vein, then you'd get annoyed if your friend helped you, because working together would destroy the vein in less strikes. If the skill increased for destroying a vein, then only the person who got the "last hit" would reap the exp reward. In Palia, so long as a player strikes the vein at least once, the loot will drop for them when it's destroyed. This way, anyone around you can "get their hand on that ball" by helping strike the vein at least once. This encourages working together, sharing the loot, etc. The same goes for chopping trees: anyone who contributes at all will get the wood that drops. This naturally encourages people to work together. There's no reason not to, because you're not "stealing" the loot from anyone else or "stealing" the exp.

Cooking is the most fleshed out co-op experience from what I've seen. Recipes require ingredients and a stove or prep station. Then, when you start the recipe, you do minigames to chop ingredients and stir them. So long as any player contributes an ingredient or does one of the minigames, they get the full exp and the finished dishes from cooking, even if that contributing player doesn't have the recipe. So if your friend loves cooking, and has a bunch of recipes, they can initiate the cooking and then you can bring the mushrooms and do the chopping. Then you all get to level up and get the dishes.

Even activities like Fishing are more fun to do together. If you fish near someone else who's fishing, you'll both get a buff that makes the fish bite your hooks much sooner. It stacks higher the more you fish together.

Another smart innovation: a rework of the infamous "stamina meter." This time, it's a Focus Meter. If your Focus Meter drops to 0, nothing happens. You don't pass out, you don't starve, nothing. However, if you DO have Focus, you get a Exp Gain Multiplier. This encourages you eating dishes to stay well-fed without punishing you too strongly if you ignore it.

And then, lastly, the core conceit of the game: there's no combat or danger. Although there is a Hunting Mechanic, it's completely one-sided, like hunting deer (which the game is quick to tell you are overpopulated in the area.) You can't die, you can't get hurt, you don't take fall damage, you don't even have health, period. I think this is great at trimming the unnecessary parts of a game like this and keeping it truly relaxing.

Although I'm having a fun time, I can't wholly recommend the open beta of Palia for everyone. The game is still early in its life and is missing a lot of important UI/UX and central features. The Pause and Settings menus are pretty sparse. You can only have 1 character so far, there aren't multiple character slots. You can't even change your characters name once you've made it, so choose carefully. In addition, you might feel like there "isn't enough to do together" if you play with friends, which is similar to a complaint I have about Animal Crossing multiplayer. It's mostly a chill hangout game about fishing next to each other.

There are a lot of things in the game that still need to be fleshed out, but I'm really happy with the core structure they've set up. Once this game leaves Open Beta, I think it'll be an easier recommendation, especially for folks who have enjoyed Disney Dreamlight Valley. I think these devs are smart about how they're handling the core desire here: wanting to play a game like Final Fantasy XIV or Stardew Valley without having to worry about combat or stamina.

My partner and I love to play these relaxing zone-out types of games. While trying Atelier Ryza recently, my partner said: "I just want a game where you zone-out and pick stuff up off the ground." My friends, we finally found it. It's called Palia.

You can find the Palia Open Beta on PC, and the game is slated to release on Nintendo Switch.

[xappetites]

sort of a continuation of this w/Frank and fBell

Frank is no stranger to barbershop banter, he might not spend all that time in town, even when he’s home, but he’s been getting semi regular post-mission cuts here for long enough to be counted as a regular.

So he doesn’t really mind the ribbing, his barber poking fun at how he should let his hair grow out like the youngins do, and he’ll throw in a perm for free. That is until the grocer down the street, currently getting his beard trimmed, makes an off hand comment about Bell.

“Doesn’t seem like the missus would be a fan, though.”

And it isn’t like Frank’s fucking bothered, it’s just this is the first time he thinks of the situation with Bell —living in his house and sleeping in his bed, making his coffee and strong arming her way into paying at least the electricity bill— as something that might stick. And he needs a minute to sort through the ache in his chest.

A forfuckingever thing, instead of the vague suspicion that he won’t find her there when comes back stateside, the bracing himself for an empty house he’s been doing for the better part of two years now.

“What?” the barber stops, kills the trimmer even, so he can be heard loud and damn clear. “If you ain’t planning on marrying that pretty thing living with you, better break it to her soon then. She’s started raising chickens.”

“Not sure she’s the marrying type.”

It’s not a lie, Bell’s quicksilver in Frank’s mind, half a cool little stream after hoofing it across the jungle for days and half forest fire. The word ‘wife’ itself feels weird, no matter how many times he’s let her know that he loves her as he comes.

The barber drops it, thankfully, though he shakes his head at Frank like he’s the stupidest son of a bitch that’s graced his chair today.

But it distracts him, the whole fucking thing, nags at him like a mosquito bite in the crack of the ass. So he has to bring it up, and he’s sure he sounds annoyed as hell about it, because he is.

Bell laughs —easy, without mockery—, perched sidesaddle in his lap, because of course she does. This is why he preemptively imagines a world without her, practices losing her in his mind so it doesn’t kill him when it happens for real.

“You ever think about tying the knot?”

“I’m legally dead Frank, I don’t think I’m allowed to get married anymore.”

“But you would, if you could?”

“I’d walk my ass hand in hand with you into city hall tomorrow if I had a valid ID, love”

She kisses him to make her point, in that mesmerizing fucking way of hers, and she rides him half to death that night, fingers interlocked and mumbling his name like a prayer.

So Frank calls a guy, someone he trusts to take his payment and keep their mouth shut. An old CIA contact who minds their businesses.

And he thinks he could make it romantic, should probably; he just— can’t wait.

All he does in the end is slide the two cards over the table towards Bell one morning, as soon as they arrive. Valid, legal, forged by the best: a driver’s license and state ID for his best girl, with her name sitting pretty on them, joined by a simple, solid ‘Woods’.

To call her his wife still feels weird, but this is right. As right as her laughter, bright and so sudden it almost makes her choke on her coffee. Right as the way she fits in his arms, talking about rings and looking at him with eyes half closed, like she’s looking at the sun.

[queerxqueen]

If you didn’t know what Zionism was then I think it’s worth acknowledging the role propaganda, brainwashing and indoctrination play in what’s happened too. And I want to preface this by saying my intention isn’t defence of Noah, but nuance, because people seem to be missing a large chunk and treating him like he’s a 50 year old that should know better.

He is swimming in propaganda, all his life. His parents, his community, his peers. He is easily influenced. Picture the Oct 7 event but with him surrounded by parents reacting and saying things on pure emotion (because a fact is that everybody knows somebody in Is*ael, the Jewish community isn’t large worldwide. It is safe to assume they were upset.) any corrupt people in his religious community - it would have been surrounding everywhere he turned. He gets sad when people are sad. Dangerous time for more misinformation to be fed to him. Really I am curious to know about his sister being around too.

People say he can still educate himself - and I agree yes he can and should, but they are dismissing how deep propaganda goes. This happening did not surprise me. Him doubling down is surprising me, upset me, but I still think growth can happen over time. Him taking down posts was a good sign but he is obviously pressured by those around him and I hope he grows a spine. (Does that sound familiar, stan world? Feeling pressured to do what others do so you don’t get thrown away by your peers/people you like? He is so close to your own very young age, you know that right?)

Those 30 year olds with their stickers have 10 years on him. He met many of them on the propaganda mess that was the trip his parents set up for him (likely his ‘birthright’ trip) that uses young people to promotes the ‘country’ by using the religion he cares about. Because that’s what he was fed his whole entire life. He didn’t do any of this in 2021 when the last big attack happened. That trip and the bullshit people he met really did damage. That is not me excusing his responsibility btw, but it is a valid analysis.

Shawn, Brett and the Duffers are double+ his age too and they disappoint me way more than Noah. They feed him more lies because he trusts them! They should know better than Noah who was recently 17, and 14 and a kid. Especially Shawn who is close to his family.

Its not new information that he needs a spine. He needs friends that care about him. He needs to not please people. Noah is responsible for his actions but his indoctrination plays a part that is so obvious.

You might be confused why I sound like I criticize but sound like I defend too. That is the nuance. That is called not bowing to people (kids!) in a fandom prioritizing the wrong thing. Ya. 🙏🏻 on God Palestine will be free, but he does not have ‘blood on his hands’ people need to take away such intense focus like that on one person who is not even a politician. They sound ridiculous and not true allies! A real ally would not be prioritizing getting likes on hate tweets and posts, and not even discussing the genocide. Noah is a speck in this, it is just loud on your Internet side.

I've listened to a lot of stories from anti-zionist Jewish people and almost all of them have the common factor of indoctrination and propaganda that has surrounded them their whole life. I definitely agree that's the case with Noah. It's tragic but it unfortunately doesn't excuse his actions.

Agreed that the Stranger Things of it all is irrelevant in the scope of the real violence going on and that people should direct their anger to do something that actually helps Palestinians (like calling representatives, educating yourself, joining BDS led boycotts, etc) instead of just hating on celebrities or boycotting one of the most popular shows.

I appreciate and agree with the nuance. It all still sucks though lol.

[venusvxen]

Undermining Inner Movement Due To Lack Of Physical Movement

The only movement that matters is the movement within.

I’ve been thinking lately about why sometimes I would never see my Full manifestations materialized even thought I would ((seriously)) change so much within.

Like seriously.. I’m a person who goes through multiple deaths and rebirths internally. The things I thought last week probably aren’t what I think this week and it’s surely not what I thought last month. I’m always expanding upon my life philosophies and dogmas to try to learn more about the world. Since the beginning of the year I really have completely changed inside. Blossomed into something completely different to the point where the me from pre late March just feels so disconnected from the me of now.

I say all this to say that I Do do the hard inner work and have the hard inner conversations with myself to shed old parts of myself to make room for the new. But then i ask myself, why does my external world not reflect that change?

Honestly this is something that would have me tripped up for a long time because before anyone comes in here saying “it’s clearly because you haven’t changed”, i’m going to stop you right there since I think I know myself better than a stranger on the internet. If anything, I think it’s because I championed external movement more than internal movement.

I was watching some Edward the other day, his video on internal movement. He spoke about how the movement inside should be the only movement we should seek, the outside is merely a bonus. It made me think about how I would undermine my Very Real internal transformations just because there wasn’t tangible evidence on the outside to substantiate that change which, in turn, would lead me back to square 1.

At times I would literally feel trapped by my outside world but as I’m typing this now I realize that it’s because I was too invested in the outer world. This feeling of encagement rlly would be because I would be someone completely different inside, but outside there was nothing to back this up. I felt (sometimes feel) like the world would never change… Like I’m trapped…

But again, the only movement that we’re after is the movement inside since reality is within not without. Me getting to a point where I completely felt like a different person inside should’ve been where I stopped and congratulated myself because that’s where the mission was accomplished… because.. again.. reality exists within.. not without.

Essentially feeling like a new person inside means I associated myself with this new state so much that I felt disconnected from the outside world but my need to see that reflected outside would have me back at square 1 because it was putting me back in a state of lack.

I honestly don’t remember where I was going to go with this but I want to just share this to remind everyone that if you’re like me and find yourself trapped at times, you’re too into the 3D. Remember that the hard part (internal metamorphosis) is already done and go back to your imagination to fulfill urself and experience what you’ve given yourself. Even if it feels like nothing is changing, know that you’ve changed in the only place where it matters and the rest will unfold beautifully … at least that’s what I tell myself

If you know that you’re a different person inside, if you know you’ve done the work, and if you feel disconnected to your 3D that is because you’ve shifted states. You’re more connected to a new version of yourself than you are to the current one in the 3D. Don’t let 3D validation keep you bogged down to the old story by changing your state from (being) to (wanting/waiting).

As I typed the last part I had a new epiphany lol. All the other times in the past I would only get my things half way is because I wasn’t fully committed to the fact that imagination is the only truth. Only half of my toes were dipped into the pool not the full thing. But I’ve decided to really let the mirror go and take a chance on faith and see where that gets us.

That’s all for now. Hope that helped!

[andypantsx3]

I’ve written to you before a very long time ago about things not going very well for me, and things are better now. Thank you for your compassion to a stranger then. It’s given me ideas as someone who also enjoys writing. I’m sure you’ve got variations of this question before so I’m sorry if I’ve missed those somehow but any advice on how to start writing and sharing your writing publicly? Like I created an account to send you this but I have no clue about anything really. Will I seem like a random interloper in the fandom who has arrived out of the blue 😭 I guess my concern is I’ll realize I’m actually not good at writing at all or worse nobody will read any of it. I feel awkward about actively promoting my work too. I don’t want to be famous or anything but it would suck if nobody wanted to read my stuff. You’re something of a stalwart at least for the fandom/genre/pairings you regularly write for and while I won’t aspire to that, how did you deal with self-doubt as an early writer? I know it’s not like I hope to earn money out of this or anything so opinions are just opinions but all my writing feels so personal to me that I’m worried about being convinced nobody cares about what I have to say. How does one really get their start at all. I’m sorry to bother you with all this but I’m super lost. It’s just that if someone’s terrible day or week could be made a little better because of my work, as your work regularly does for people, that would be nice. I hope you’re doing really well and randomly find something you’ve been looking for!

Hello my love!! I'm so happy I could help you out a little when you were in a tough spot!! I am very very happy that things are looking up for you now and I hope things only continue to get better and better!!! 💕

And oh my gosh, I don't think anyone will think of you as an interloper!!! Fandom is a community and the more the merrier imho! The x Reader community in particular is super welcoming and very nonjudgmental and the perfect place to get your start; almost everyone here is super nice and really chill. People will surprise you with how much nicer they are than you expect; I think you should just take a leap of faith and jump in!!

But just in case, let me give you the most realistic and straightforward advice I can. It's easy to dip your toes in and test the waters but I think you will need the below pieces of advice if you plan to battle self-doubt and continue writing & publishing fic without burning out or going nuts in the long term lol.

1. Find balance in the source of your self-worth

With publishing anything online, you always hope that people will like it and will want to engage with it. On tumblr the best measurement we have of that is notes, and on ao3 kudos + comments. Notes/comments/kudos are incredible and will make you feel more cherished than anything in the world. I will always appreciate them more than I can say, but one thing it is essential to know is that they are external sources of validation, and it is extremely dangerous to attach your sense of worth solely to the actions of other people.

If you want to publish fic, you will need to also find some internal sense of worth in your writing. You will need to finely balance that with how much you treasure the feedback of other people in order to stay afloat long term.

I recommend really sitting down and thinking about what you are writing/what you want to write, and why it is worth it to you. What makes your fic interesting to you? What are you doing differently than other people that makes you unique? What does your authorial voice sound like? Answering these questions will help you identify what you are bringing to the table as an author, so you know what it is that you do well, even if people aren't engaging the way you want, or even if you're receiving criticism.

For me, I really find value in the places I diverge from other fic authors. People really love writing powerful hero readers, but I usually write quirkless side characters who have somehow found themselves the main character. Chaptered/long fics are also less common in our fandom than oneshots, but I typically write chaptered fics! And I have a stylistically simple and light voice which is easily accessible.

All of these help me know that I'm bringing some fun distinct stuff to the table, even if what I'm bringing isn't perfect or necessarily as popular. And even if I enjoy other peoples' fics and authorial voices more than my own; I'm still bringing something unique and valuable!! So even when people aren't picking up every single thing I'm putting down, I still know the value of putting them down anyway.

2. Manage expectations

I think it can be easy to compare ourselves with one another, especially if you follow some well-established authors or people writing for super popular characters. Even I succumb to jealousy on occasion; it's just human nature. But it's important to know people will engage with different types of fics in different ways and that other people's success has nothing to do with your own.

I think you should set realistic expectations for how people will engage with your fics depending on what it is that you want to write. Some fandoms are much larger than others and therefore have a wider built-in audience. Some characters are also wildly more popular than others so it is likelier fics for those characters will go a bit further. In my experience, people really gravitate towards smutty scenarios or headcanons, sometimes oneshots, and less so chaptered fic. And some authors have been around for forever, or post constantly so that they are regularly drawing people in, and therefore have a larger reader pool than other authors.

So think about what you are writing, for which characters, and in which fandoms, and level your expectations accordingly. For me, even though Shouto is fairly popular, he also only has roughly 1/3 of Bakugou's level of popularity. So I never try to gauge the success of a Shouto fic in comparison to a Bakugou fic I've written, or even the Bakugou fics of other more established Bakugou writers.

This, combined with my own internal sense of worth as a writer, helps me feel like I'm doing pretty good for myself, even if I get like, 30 notes on a fic compared to someone else's 300 or something.

3. Understand that writing is a growing process!

One other essential tip is to understand that writing is a skill set than can be refined and honed. What you write one day is not indicative of where your skill level will sit the next day. And so critique you receive, or mistakes you have made, are really less indicative of failure and more tools to help you get to the next level.

This is one I've personally struggled with, but it can be worth it to be open to feedback that is not necessarily complimentary, with the caveat that you should know what is objective constructive criticism, and what is more subjective/personal preference. The latter you can disregard, because tailoring a fic to some random person's arbitrary tastes is not going to help you tell a good story lol.

But people telling you what they would like to see more of or things that didn't make sense to them can help you understand where you can make improvements to your writing. And it's not to say your writing is not good enough where it is; only to say there are avenues for you to develop even more experience.

For me, this has largely been in the area of smut lol. I liked my lil vanilla smut scenes, but I used to commonly get a fair amount of feedback wishing they were spicier. And, after initially getting defensive lmao, I could see how that was a common piece of feedback across multiple critiques, and I understood how drawing those scenes out might help contribute to the feeling of intimacy, satisfaction, and closure I want to develop at the end of a fic!!

I think being open to feedback while understanding that critique does not in any way take away from your talent overall, can only help you preserve the satisfaction you have with your writing, and help you refine in the future!! It keeps writing interesting, and keeps your sense of self-worth tied up in the process of writing, not necessarily the product of the writing, if that makes sense.

Anyway that's what I can think of for now. Even with all this advice listed out, I think you should just have hope and trust in people and dive right in. It sounds like you are an earnest person wanting to make heartfelt connections, and in my experience people will reflect that energy right back at you!!

I am sending you all my best vibes and looking forward to reading your stuff, if you end up going for it and posting!!! 💕✨

[belit0]

Izuna with an only fans account and Tobirama obsessively watching/requesting videos

THIS GOT DARK PRETTY SOOOON

TW: Dark! Tobirama.

Money rains down, and Izuna enjoys his dirty secret with animosity.

That is, until the whole thing gets weird.

Of course, he can't admit to his Aniki how he got a non-traditionally accepted way of earning money, achieving financial independence, and no longer needing him to survive. Madara was genuinely angry when Izuna dropped college, and even more so when he refused to take a position in his company.

The Uchiha does not want to live off his family, to rely on his older brother to make ends meet, and began to explore ways to generate money without needing a degree or contacts.

The world of nudity is something he was already a part of, sending explicit photos to a thousand men a night just because he felt aroused and eager to receive compliments, seeking approval from hundreds of strangers and validation.

What difference did it make if he suddenly started doing it for money?

Instead of giving away his content just for the sake of masturbating under other people's flattery, he could monetize that feeling, and receive payments for the same thing.

It would take some work, of course. He would have to create a platform, make it gain momentum, and an audience, attracting those who would want to consume and pay for his content. The first step was to create such material, using his existing dirty pictures and taking more. He puts to use all the sex toys in his possession and takes the sexiest videos in preparation.

Evaluating the decision of whether to show his face or not, of what would happen if his photos got out and reached his older brother, he decided it was a risk to take. Men seemed to love it when they saw his pleasure expressions, and Izuna would exploit it to the fullest.

He dedicated himself to hiding all his personal profiles, making his Instagram private and deleting unknown followers, erasing identifiable traces on his Twitter, eliminating any strangers from Snapchat, and clearing his TikTok. No one could find a trail of Izuna Uchiha online, nothing that could connect him to that fictional person he created under the username of “IzU02”.

His official OF opens for the first time, and he works on all descriptions, personalized and private messages, ways to attract and make his audience feel special. Then he follows on with Twitter, a new account where he creates a page worthy of a bot, and fills it with provocative images. Bait for all the morbid ones to click on and get to his home page.

He considers opening an Instagram but prefers to opt for TikTok. A social network where he will have to be careful about the explicitness of his videos, but it will also serve to gather an audience.

With the plan in place, the first few months are slow, without much activity. He still has to rely on Madara, but less and less. A donation here, a little money there, someone buying access to his photos. Little by little, his OF starts to gain traction, and he progressively gains people interested in him.

He builds up a small group of men who would love to have him, who think he's theirs, guys who fall in love with his figure and his videos. They pay a ridiculous monthly amount for his content and a few extra dollars for exclusive posts.

Izuna is soon able to pay the rent on his own, without needing his brother to take over his life, and everything starts to seem simple. Some ass here, dildos there, and the money rains in.

One man, in particular, stands out among the crowd, a guy named SnowBunny69!

Whoever is hiding behind this user carries a disturbing obsession with him, to the point where he pays for absolutely all of his photos and videos, follows him on all of his networks, and slides on his DMS on a daily basis. SnowBunny69! Seems to believe he is in a relationship with Izuna, sending him bizarre messages bordering on psychotic.

"Why don't you talk to me, did you get bored? You don’t have a choice."

"You looked beautiful in today's picture, but I wish not everyone could see it."

"You're mine, stop showing off like a whore in front of anyone."

The Uchiha assumes he is one of those persons with a lot of money and no life, who spend their time browsing porn profiles and trying to feel something through donations to strangers. He pays no attention to it, for as long as he keeps paying, he doesn't care. Either way, his DMS leaves him a little uneasy, and he doesn't like the feeling it creates in his chest every time he sees a notification coming from that username.

At some point, he'd love to be able to tell Madara, to release the tension he's been carrying inside since this profile started behaving like a lunatic, but that would mean revealing... everything. His older brother would freak out, force him to move back in with him, and not leave him alone for a second.

Not a chance.

Everything functions merely normally, until Izuna receives a horrible blood-chilling message.

He's about to jump in the shower and take his usual premium photos when he sees a notification on his phone. It's a text message, not coming from any of his pages. His first reflex is to think Madara texted him for some reason, but he's horrified when reading it.

"Missed you today, who is that man in your ig pics?"

If he has to guess, he knows for sure it's his stalker, which means SnowBunny69! got his number somehow.

He has to be referring to his private, personal Instagram, because Izuna never opened one for his sexual endeavor. With dread, he opens the app on his phone and remembers how yesterday he uploaded a photo with Madara, together and hugging. A harmless selfie after his brother invited him to lunch, to catch up.

It's like he's watching him, keeping an eye over his moves, in the spotlight of this man's insane head who thinks he owns him and believes to have power over him or his life.

Whoever is behind that profile managed to gain access to his privacy, and the Uchiha desperately checks his followers, hoping to find an account or a profile he forgot to delete.

Another text arrives, and he only dares to read it without opening the notification.

"I told you you're mine. If you don't want anything bad to happen, you'll learn to behave."

Izuna gives up on his knees on the bathroom floor, tears of shock rolling down his cheeks involuntarily, and his phone crashing to the floor. He feels observed, abused, and violated. He did everything he could to maintain his privacy, hide his true identity and protect his personal life, but it seems to have been in vain.

Even with the broken screen, he can see the terrible message present in the notification center, and all he can do is cry in despair.

[possibleplatypus]

Steve rogers is not real y’all need to relax

Oh boy 😂

At first I thought anon was a Disney stan or casual MCU fan who doesn’t want to see MCU criticism...

And then I thought maybe anon is concerned about my mental health since I can sound a little unhinged (though I prefer the term “passionate”) in my posts...

After thinking about it I’m pretty sure anon is the former, but just in case you’re the latter, I assure you, I’m fine. The stuff I post on Tumblr really has no effect on me in my life outside of Tumblr. I never discuss the MCU with my family. I don’t go shouting at strangers on the street about how much Disney has screwed up. I have much bigger concerns outside of what I choose to blog about. Rest assured that Steve Rogers, no matter how much I love him, does not consume my every waking thought.

But anon does bring up an interesting point: Steve Rogers isn’t real, so we shouldn’t be angry when we feel that his corporate owners have ridiculed him. Steve Rogers isn’t real, so we shouldn’t make a big deal about it when his corporate owners disrespect him. Steve Rogers isn’t real, therefore he can’t be disrespected, and we should just relax and let everything that’s been done to him roll off of our backs, like water on a duck.

I know Steve Rogers isn’t real. Everybody knows. He is a fictional comic book character created by Jewish men to inspire action against Nazis during World War II. He isn’t real, but you can’t tell me that his influence also isn’t real. He isn’t real, but he tells us that all of us, no matter how small or unloved by society we are, can rise to the challenge. We can be heroes and fight for something bigger than ourselves. That inspiration, and that message, I think, is very important.

Steve Rogers isn’t real, but our love for him is. And I don’t think you should belittle this love. You might as well belittle the love that others have for other franchises that are meaningful to them, other storybook characters, other video games, other hobbies that “aren’t real.” Why is our love not valid and worthy of note? I am sure anon loves things that I don’t love-- things that aren’t “real.” I would never tell anon to “relax”-- unless they’re hurting themselves, or hurting real people. (Honestly, the fans who tell other fans to kill themselves over fictional characters are the ones who need to relax 😬)

Steve Rogers isn’t real, but Disney’s impact on popular culture is. How real? A quick Google search told me that the MCU earned over $25 billion worldwide. 25 billion dollars, can you imagine that? $25,000,000,000. Google also tells me that in 2021, the Walt Disney Company held assets worth a total of over 203.61 billion U.S. dollars. That is more money than the GDP of some countries. That is certainly more money than most of us will see in our lives, no matter how hard we toil. That is power. That is real. That is power to buy politicians and influence real lives, such as in the United States when Disney supported backers of the Don’t Say Gay Bill in Florida. And Steve Rogers is just one small cog in the MCU machine, which is merely one cog in the bloated Disney monopoly.

I make blog posts that get reblogged maybe over a hundred times if I’m lucky. Usually they never hit triple digits-- it's a good day if I get a dozen likes. Most of these posts are really vent posts-- I vent my frustrations with likeminded fans. Compare that to Disney churning out dozens of movies and shows nonstop, and how much am I doing, really? (Honestly, Disney should be the ones told to relax-- they’re burning out VFX artists and churning out subpar content.)

Forbes tells me that the Loki series was watched by 2.5 million households when it debuted. The Falcon and the Winter Soldier debuted to 1.8 million viewers. WandaVision, to 1.6 million. That is real power.

She Hulk apparently had 1.5 million viewers. 1.5 million people watched Jennifer Walters wail and moan about how tragic it was for Steve to die a virgin. That’s Disney wailing in our ears, anon. That’s Kevin Feige and his extremely real insecurities telling us that it’s tragicomedy for a man to not have sex. And it doesn’t matter if you’re an ordinary man, or a hero who helped save the universe-- they’re still going to laugh at you. And I can tell that it’s wrong, but how many others are going to have their misguided beliefs reinforced? How many people will feel inadequate if they don’t have sex? We do not live in a bubble. We are constantly bombarded by messages from without telling us to have sex, or don’t have sex, or have the right amount of sex, etc. It is a toxic mindset that they are perpetuating, and I don’t think it’s wrong to call them out.

So Steve Rogers isn’t real. But the love that his fans have for him is. And the love that we and other likeminded fans have for the MCU translates into very real power for Disney-- the power to influence popular consciousness.

So-- maybe we should stop loving him, in order to stop supporting Disney? That’s difficult, considering how much Disney owns (and they weren't his original owners to begin with). They are a Hydra of their own making, inescapable, choking the life out of popular culture, swallowing up studios and VFX artists. And besides, Disney doesn’t want fans like me. They don’t want fans that criticize their writing, that tell them they’re not funny, that call them out when they’re toxic. They don’t want fans that have queer readings of characters they insist absolutely have to be straight. So I think that fans like me are something they desperately need.

This quote from Neil Gaiman is very apt:

“We who make stories know that we tell lies for a living. But they are good lies that say true things, and we owe it to our readers to build them as best we can. Because somewhere out there is someone who needs that story. Someone who will grow up with a different landscape, who without that story will be a different person. And who with that story may have hope, or wisdom, or kindness, or comfort. And that is why we write.”

Somewhere out there, someone needs Steve Rogers' stories, even if he isn't real. And Steve Rogers deserves better stories. We deserve better.

I will love Steve Rogers for what he was made to be-- a symbol of inspiration, a bulwark against fascism-- and not what Disney wants him to be-- a cash cow for people to point and laugh at. And I’ll relax when I want to, thanks.

(Fun fact: the second comic of Steve is from a She Hulk comic. Can you believe that? From standing up to Nazis to being laughed at for presumably dying a virgin. I know what Disney values.)

[most-canon-non-canon-ship-poll]

I, the poll runner, made this poll because they suck that much

Why Mileven is shit - a submission-based essay, part 3/3

Mileven - a currently canon het ship from the Stranger Things fandom between Michael (Mike) Wheeler and Jane (Eleven) Ives/Hopper/Byers/IDK

This doesn't mean she will never have another relationship, it doesn't even mean she is "alone" while other people are in relationships (although personally I think there is nothing wrong with not being in a relationship tbh... some people need to unpack this). It just means that she reclaims the power to decide if and when she will give love to someone again, a choice she's never really had. As for Mike, I believe his low self-esteem and what makes him feel so different is his feelings for Will which have steadily stepped out of platonic more and more as time has gone on, and THAT is the truth that is hard to admit, not his apparent love for El that she has been begging for him to say. Mike and Will are written so perfectly as a romantic duo that it is wild to me that anyone would ship Mike with anyone else. Mike deserves more than to be a shitty friend and El's boyfriend (because if he really does just love El, then his actions are just him being mean and weird with no cause or explanation, which I can't imagine is the case), Will deserves more than to be the sad gay in unrequited love who only suffers, and El deserves more than to be some boy's "superhero" who is loved for what she can do more than for who she truly is. She deserves to shake the shackles of male control, and yes... Mike unfortunately falls into this due to his feeling responsible for El's wellbeing because of the unfortunate circumstances they met under. Plus he's, in my opinion, fallen even harden into this parentified role in Hopper's absence (those parallels are insane too, don't even get me started). Anyway, all that to say... Mileven is an objectively bad ship that doesn't fit with the story Stranger Things is telling. It doesn't serve any of the characters involved in a positive way, and Byler is a significantly more touching and well-built couple. Personally, even the argument that El will be "crushed if they break up" doesn't really carry any weight. It's clear that she has already hurt so much IN THE RELATIONSHIP, so ending it just seems like the logical next step (and I'm among the people who believe she wanted to break up at the pizza place tbh). Why should she stay with someone who can only love her in life-or-death situations? Why should Mike be with someone who makes him feel worthless or not enough or like his personal experiences and struggles aren't valid? Why should Mike and El settle for a relationship that takes so much work but makes them both ultimately unhappy (it's giving Karen a d Ted). Why should Will just accept that in a world of demogorgans and alternate dimensions and telekinetic lab children, the craziest and most unlikely thing is a queer boy like him finding requited love with the person who makes them feel better for being different and encourages them to fight on? I just don't think the writers are telling that kind of story. I love El, Mike, and Will... I hope they will get a beautiful ending. To me, a beautiful ending would include Mike and El mutually caring for each other enough to admit that their relationship is not good for either of them as El deserves to be loved and needs time to heal, and Mike deserves to embrace his truth and his own feelings without feeling insignificant or unlovable (and ultimately be rewarded for embodying one of the show's core themes: that forced conformity is bad, you will never feel gratification or happiness by pretending to be something or someone you're not, it's okay to be a "freak" and it's okay to be different and to rebel against the limited, restrictive forms of "happiness" society pushes. After all, forced conformity is one of the real villains in this show, as clearly stated!)

[donnerpartyofone]

I once found myself foolishly complaining to my old therapist about some deeply unsatisfying exchange I had on tumblr with somebody who had willfully misconstrued what I said and was going after me about what they decided I meant, just because that was what they would rather talk about. You know, the usual. My therapist threw me off my game by just asking my why I post here to begin with, instead of indulging my desire to passionately bitch and moan. She seemed very skeptical about whatever I said, I had the idea that she wanted me to admit that I was either looking for a fight, or attention, or validation from a bad source where I am destined to encounter a lot of friction. (Man o man, if only she knew about the absolutely bonkers and irrational "you are valid" culture we have here...) And I mean, she's right, you ARE destined to encounter a lot of friction on tumblr if you do anything remotely personal with it, but somehow that annoyance can be outweighed by

a) the internal satisfaction of putting your thoughts in order

b) the catharsis of venting, even into the void

c) the small but unignorable possibility that someone will deeply understand what you said, or have something relevant and provocative to add based on their own unique and valuable experience/expertise.

I think about turning off replies all the time now, quite a lot of the time there's someone being rude either on purpose or inadvertently, because they're too obtuse or thoughtless to consider the implications or real usefulness of what they are saying. Sometimes I think about turning off reblogs on everything too, and I'm trying to develop the habit of stopping before I post to ask myself, every single time, how I'm going to feel when some total cretin reblogs something that is obviously either not universally applicable (e.g. just personal in-the-moment venting) or actually not their business (discussion of personal tragedy that you'd think people would have the good sense to leave alone, like just let strangers who need to talk about something do so in peace?). All of these things have happened more and more lately, and I think what would be really great for me is if I developed a much tougher hide, if I developed a mental baleen that filters out all the shit I don't need to care about and lets in all the tasty, nutritious stuff that I'm actually here for, that I like so much that it makes all the chaff totally worth it.

My problem is that I don't have that natural thing that tells you what incoming stimulus is relevant and what you can completely ignore, I'm curious about EVERYTHING especially how other people think and behave. When I hear something insulting or idiotic directed at me I immediately start processing it like it's a mystery that it is my duty to unravel, instead of casually throwing it in the trash like I should. This morning I posted about how I was reminded of a personal tragedy by some stupid thing a business did to me, and I get this complete stranger unloading his own version of that tragedy, only to then condemn me morally for my interaction with the business. Like does he think I'm going to be so humbled by his "direct action" that it's going to change the world? What was the goal besides picking a fight before the sun is all the way up in the sky? Yesterday I posted links to a bunch of film scholarship I published along with some new blu ray releases, literally calling it my life's work, and somebody reblogged it and put in the tags that they don't like one of the movies and they don't know what the other two are. So...what was the point here? Are you planning on buying two expensive collector's editions of movies you don't know by a director you don't like? I mean thanks for promoting my work, I guess if the price of your sponsorship is that you say rude, pointless things that don't mean anything to anyone, then I'll take it? It might have a positive impact on my mental health if I turned off replies and reblogs universally, but then I wouldn't get to hear from any of the smart and nice guys I've met on here who have opened my eyes to all sorts of things. So yeah my Christmas wish or New Year's resolution or whatever is to give a shit much, much more selectively, for the rest of my life.

PS Regarding disagreements on the internet: There is an important qualitative difference between someone saying something you find disagreeable on their own blog, which you don't even have to be aware of if you don't want to, and someone going out of their away to like cross into your yard to start a fight about what's on your blog ~as if~ you had called them on the phone and said it directly to them personally. Most of what you see on the internet doesn't require your input at all, if you don't really have anything to add except your own emotional content. The difference: Learn it, know it, live it!

[95cest]

1. are u good with ur hands? are u better at practical stuff like fixing things, crafting-type stuff, or fine arts?

2. what are ur feelings on the beach

3. how do u deal w/ bugs in the house

4. have u ever experienced a death in the family that actually mattered to u

5. how quickly do u generally pick up new skills or knowledge? are u better at learning "book" knowledge or hands on stuff

6. what are u sleeping habits? can u fall asleep anywhere or do u need total silence and darkness type of thing? would u feel comfortable sharing a bed with a stranger?

7. do u have any genuinely irrational fears or phobias? did something cause it?

8. describe your dream house

9. if u were strongly outnumbered in a fight but u were genuinely in the right and like ur point was super valid would u stand ur ground or run away

10. how do u feel about your body

11. if u were shipwrecked on a deserted island, how long would u survive

12. do u have tattoos/piercings and do they have any particular meanings

13. how well can u cook? do u like it? WOULD u like it if u could?

14. would u rather travel all around the world but not have an actual home, or stay in your home town with family and friends but never leave the state

15. ur in a burning room and u can only save 1 thing: $1,000,000 or a living animal

16. how do u show affection

17. do you like fashion/do you like the way you dress

18. do you wanna be famous? if u WERE famous what would it be for

19. how do u react to people u don't like flirting w u

20. is loyalty or morality more important

21. do u believe in ghosts?

22. off the top of ur head what is ur best and wirst quality (say the first thing that comes to ur brain)

23. are u the type of person to correct someone's grammar while they're speaking

24. would u prefer to live alone or with roommtes

25. how fast do u think u could solve a rubiks cube be honest

26. ur held at gunpoint and forced to participate in a cosplay convention, who r u being

27. what would be ur 3 genie wishes

28. what is your biggest 1) personality and 2) physical insecurity

29. if u woke up one day and were in a male body what would u do

30. do u feel like u fit in w ur culture

31. u are watching someone be bullied firsthand what do u do

32. are u susceptible to peer pressure? are u susceptible to family pressure?

33. u have to live in an alternate universe, where r u going (like marvel, naria, whatevs)

34. did you have a favorite stuffed animal, blanket, doll, etc. as a child? do u still have it/when did u stop using it?

35. if u were given $1,000 dollars to spend on things for ur own entertainment what would u do

36. how would u describe ur own appearance? do u think u have a skewed perception of urself or do u think u accurately know urself

37. do u have any bad habits or compulsions

38. is there anyone you'd truly be willing to die for

39. do u think ur charismatic or does it take time for people to warm up to u ? why do u think this is?

40. what are the longest romantic and platonic relationships you've had

41. what's something u never go anywhere without (don't say phone or wallet lame-o)

42. name ur favorite fictional character from a) tv show b) movie c) book

43. name a fictional character that u think is a lot like u whether or not u like them

44. are u a spender or a saver

45. have u ever gotten in trouble w the law

46. is there anything in history ur super interested in

47. if u lived in a magic world what would u be

48. do u think ur self-aware (this is an ironic question bc a self-unaware peson would have no idea whether or not they are aware)

49. would u put yourself in danger to help a stranger

50. what is the most useless thing you would buy if u could

51. how do u react to conflict (physical and emotional)

52. what's ur ideal vacation

53. are u athletic

54. are u a thinker or a doer ? would u rather plan an idea or actually do it

55. do u take unnecessary risks? do u get into trouble often?

56. do u act differently around strangers compared to around friends? how dramatic is the difference?

57. do u cheat when playing card/board games

58. how do u react to frustration

59. do u get worked up easily

60. have u ever fainted or been unconscious

61. can u easily entertain urself

62. are u good at staying in touch w people/calling/texting?

63. do u prefer playing games at amusement parks or going on rides

64. are u clumsy or coordinated

65. do u have any special nicknames

66. what is the worst physical injury you've encountered

67. how would u react if someone tried to rob ur house while u were there

68. are u patient? are u patient w EVERYONE?

69. whats ur first email address

70. ur webkinz user?

71. do u have any scars and what r they from

72. how well do u handle ur emotions? do u breakdown often?

73. do u like receiving gifts in front of others or does it make u shy

74. do u spend a lot of time on grooming

75. what's the most expensive thing you bought yourself

76. who do u tell your secrets to? and who do u tell other people's secrets to? do u tell other people's secrets even if they tell u not to?

77. what's something petty that makes you mad

78. what are your pet peeves

79. what's something important you look for in a friend

80. what do you try to steer clear of in a friend

81. a job you could NEVER do

82. if you had to choose a career path that has nothing to do with what you're doing now what would it be

83. ugliest color combo you can think of

84. if u were a fantasy villain whats ur weapon on choice

85. who is a celebrity you are attracted to but you can't really explain why

86. a show or movie u love but people make fun of u for

87. which divergent faction would u actually be in vs. what faction would u want to be in

88. have you ever witnessed a crime or an arrest being made

89. what gives you butterflies

90. tell any fun memory that comes to ur head rn

91. name your top 3 favorites singers (purely from voice not music)

92. if u were planning a music festival for urself who would ur headliners be

93. if u were planning a music festival for the public who would ur headliners be

94. what's a stupid or silly thing u do when no one is looking

95. what's a red flag of yours

96. what are u a hypocrite about

97. where is a place you will never go back to

98. ur famous. ur doing a press tour and u need to select a talk show to promote ur newest project which one would you choose and why

99. if u were a cartoon character what animation style would u be drawn in

100. pick 3 things that you genuinely love about yourself and wouldn't change

101. 3 things about yourself that u want to brag about but never get the chance to

102. explain something that pisses you off when you think about it, no matter how small

103. rant about something you really need to complain about

104. longest grudge you've ever held?

[nexyra]

Just wanted to pass by to tell you that I loved your analysis of Neuvillette's type on PDB! Full disclosure, my opinion is subject to intense bias since I'm an ISTP myself (~90% certainty) however I hope this is at least some validation for your part. It's amusing since his behaviors are significantly different from mine, and yet his words all 'make sense', for lack of a better word. Contrast to Wriothesley, who elicits a 'well he's right, buuuut...' feeling. Difficult to describe in 500 charas.

Hello kind stranger ! This was a very unexpected ask i'll say, even though I suppose my username IS exactly the same on PDB as it is here, making me quite easy to find in practice haha

I'm really happy my comment made sense to you ! Even now, I still firmly believe everything I wrote, and particularly that Neuvillette is a high Ti user. I don't know if you've read it, but I think there's another very good example of his Ti in his character story 5; when he describes his opinion on constellation and "fate"

One as great as he should have no need for a constellation to shine over him. After all, "fate" is merely the manner in which the present ruler of this world plays with living beings. Now that he has obtained one part of seven of the authority over the mortal realm, and reforged the throne and title of a "Fully Fledged Dragon," he is one strong enough to equal and rival "the human realm," and logic would dictate that he need not subscribe to this system known as "fate."

I think this is another good example that, at the end of the day, Neuvillette's thinking process is closer to Ti than it is to Te. There is a lot of "If Y, then logically following from this premise we can conclude X" when we're actually given the opportunity to delve into his mind. Pierce made the distinction between Ti & Te this way:

→ « Introverted Thinking — judgement based on what is subjectively denoted; i.e. a priori analysis; e.g. “If you accept my definition of 'murderer', then you must conclude with me that Colonel Mustard is one.” »

→ Extraverted Thinking — judgement based on what is objectively denoted; i.e. empirical science; e.g. “We all see the evidence (bloody hands, scene of the crime, etc.) therefore, we must all conclude that Colonel Mustard is Mr. Body's murderer.”

And I think that if we look at how Neuvillette thinks "for himself", beyond his role of judge where he is supposed to follow the laws, he really does fit the former more. Another example I developed somewhere else on his page that even Vautrain's trial shows this tendency imo ! Forgive me for this copy-past and ramble haha, this was in answer to someone asking how exactly Neuvillette could be "impartial" but have a subjective function as dominant, & my answer went like this:

This impartiality & "objectivity" while being subjective is further shown in his story quest. Despite Vautrain being one of the people he is closest to, he does not treat him differently from others in the court. but his judgment is still subjective, as evidenced by the ease with which he considers "different kinds of justice" during the trial. Te users, due to their "inherent" objectivity, often think that everyone with the same information should come to the same objective conclusion, while Ji users do not. Pierce described… Te : “We all see the evidence (bloody hands, scene of the crime, etc.) therefore, we must all conclude that Colonel Mustard is Mr. Body's murderer.” Ti : “If you accept my definition of 'murderer', then you must conclude with me that Colonel Mustard is one.” The way Neuvillette approaches that trial shows that for him, laws are simply a "definition", a logical premise from which a logical conclusion follow in the context of a trial.

Neuvillette: I acknowledge your arguments. Vautrin, your revenge could be seen as a form of justice. Neuvillette: I understand your decision. Which is why I cannot help but feel regret… and even grief about the judgment I must now impose. Neuvillette: However, personal justice does not equate to justice as defined by the law. To execute your plan for revenge, you abused your authority and conducted informal executions. Your actions have thus violated the law. Neuvillette: Therefore, you will be declared… guilty.

Neuvillette personally understands Vautrain's actions, and even "agrees" that depending on your definition of justice, his actions can be seen as just and right. However as the chief's justice, his job is to follow the established laws. And the way he describes that decision is how we can see the use of Ti despite his "following of the laws". Because the way it describes it pretty much echoes the colonel Mustard example. -> Personal justice does not equate justice as defined by the law. If we can agree that this court judges whether actions are just or not depending on whether they follow the law, then we can see that your actions have violated it. This makes Vautrain, according to the law, guilty. This is basically what Neuvillette says, in subtext. And he stays impartial by holding strong to these kind of decisions despite personal feelings on the matter. It's his job, so he follows the rules of his job. What he personally thinks and how he takes decision outside of it though is a whole other matter.

I feel like Genshin has become much less stereotypical & much more interesting in his character writing as of late so Neuvillette is very dear to my heart on that subject ! And he's, as you implied, a very good reminder that MBTI is first and foremost a system that deals with COGNITION and not behaviour. Thus it is how a character thinks, and not its actions, that should be examined to determine his MBTI type. Thank you again for taking the time to tell me here what you thought of my argument, it was unexpected but very much welcome <3 Hope these additions also make sense to you !

[blackjackkent]

OK. I think I've hit the majority of the Underdark map. So we're going to head back topside and investigate the Waukeen's Rest place that @zenjestrr mentioned and then head for the mountain pass.

However, before we go, we're going to go ahead and knock Omeluum's quest item off the list, against Hector's better judgment.

I think this is another case, as all his most ill-advised ideas are, of his curiosity getting the better of him. An academic mind flayer is definitely strange and calls to the same part of him that the conversation with Lae'zel just now did as well.

And to be honest, he's been so afraid of everything for weeks now, so this other terrifying thing doesn't really stand out as much as it might otherwise.

"I greet you, sun child," it says to him. I'm not sure if it says this because he's from the upper lands or because he's a Selunite but either way it's an interesting way to open the conversation.

We have more questions available to ask here than I thought.

"How did you escape your colony?" he asks, mind-to-mind as they have spoken before.

The mind flayer's tentacles twitch thoughtfully. Then it shakes its head. "That is not a story I share with strangers," it says quietly.

You know what? Valid. In some ways Hector must be as strange to it as it is to Hector.

"How do you survive? Don't you need...brains?" Hopefully a less intrusive question, but who knows.

"In the beginning, I had an arrangement with a lich. Excellent company, despite what one would expect. I required brains, he required souls. A perfect symbiosis. But our ambitions eventually splintered. I wished to better the world, and he preferred its rot. So I left his company, and thus I now feed from those who...act against the Society's goals."

Hector shifts uncomfortably. The creature speaks very matter-of-factly about a method of killing and consuming that feels like an abomination. Then again...how different is it from Astarion telling him, equally matter-of-fact, that he will only drink from those they have to kill anyway? Indeed, Astarion's motives are far more practical than Omeluum's, as the latter seems to have a true driving motive beyond survival.

"Best way to deal with that sort of hunger, I suppose," he says warily.

The creature has no readable expression, but his thought-voice carries a note of a cool smile. "Perhaps the peoples of the Underdark will be less inclined to violence if they comprehend the cost, yes?"

Hector lets that one go without comment, steels himself, and then says, "I'd like to learn more about the tadpole."

(Karlach approved at this point, which leads me to believe this whole ordeal might have been partly her idea - she is, of their little group, probably the one most likely to have an open mind about it. And it also explains why Hector goes along with it, since he is starting to really value her opinion.)

Narrator: An almost childlike joy enters Omeluum's ichor-laced eyes.

"Open your mind to me, friend," the mind flayer says. "Let us see what lurks within."

Everything in Hector's body cries out to run away from this experience, but he steadies himself. After all - far better this than Volo's knitting needle, right?

Relax and allow Omeluum's mind to search yours.

Narrator: As Omeluum's mind pierces yours, the tadpole pulses with power. It feels ten times its size. Alive, awake. Almost smug.

The feeling is horrific, terrifying. He swallows a choked cry, stumbles backwards a step, feels Shadowheart's grip on his arm to steady him, the sudden surge of heat from an abortive move from Karlach stopped at the last minute. But then it's over. Omeluum's hands fall back to its sides and it looks at Hector with keen curiosity.

"This is most unusual," it says, and Hector can hear a deep intellectual eagerness in its resonant mental voice. "The incubation period should be complete, as should your transformation. But the larva is infused with strange magic. It appears to be in some sort of stasis."

This tracks with what they've heard before. Hector straightens up slowly, rubs at his temple, feeling the parasite begin to settle back into dormancy with a few remaining wriggles. "What happens if that stasis goes away?" he asks slowly.

"I can only theorize," Omeluum says placidly. "But I suspect your transformation would be both agonizing and instantaneous."

"I thought it was always agonizing, Omeluum," Blurg, the hobgoblin, puts in from behind him.

"Well, yes," Omeluum agrees. "But that wasn't my point."

Hector feels mildly ill. Every time they have someone investigate this thing, the image of the situation feels slightly worse. "Can you extract the tadpole?" he asks.

"No," Omeluum says bluntly. "It appears to be shielded from physical and magical influence. And even without the shield, the extraction would involve severe cranial trauma."

Oh. "That doesn't sound ideal," Hector says weakly.

"It is not ideal," Omeluum agrees. "The process would surely kill you. But not to worry. Should you transform, I will happily perform a new examination."

Hector looks at it closely for a moment. There is a deadpan note to the creature's mental voice that feels almost like black humor. He hadn't known mind flayers could joke.

He goes on to tell Omeluum and Blurg a little about the ship that kidnapped them and brought them here. Omeluum seems interested in this as well. "A nautiloid? Fascinating. I have never set foot on one myself. They were our warships during the greatest eras of the Illithid Empire. We ruled the entire Astral Plane from their decks. The design was lost when the gith rebelled and ended our dominion."

All of this has been interesting, but not particularly helpful. Hector starts to turn away - but Omeluum has an idea before he leaves.

"There may be a way to bypass that stasis. There are many alchemical substances that can influence the mind."

This doesn't seem like a great idea to Hector. "Isn't the stasis why the tadpole hasn't killed me yet?"

"I do not intend to shatter its protection," Omeluum says. "I need only bypass the interference that prevents me from communicating with the larva."

"Bypass?" Hector says cautiously. "What kind of alchemy are we talking about?"

"A tincture distilled from a collection of rare mushooms. They have subtle psionic influence. I would require a fresh tongue of madness and timmask spores. But be warned - in their natural state, both of these mushrooms can be quite dangerous. Timmasks cause confusion in those that approach them. The tongue is...self-explanatory."

In a horrific sort of way, it feels like he is a little boy again, discussing potions with the herbalist back at the monastery and bringing him the plants he gathered while running about the hills nearby. "I think I already have what you're looking for," he says - and indeed in their journeys he has already gathered bits of both mushrooms.

Omeluum eyes the samples he offers and nods slightly. "These are fine specimens. It will only take me a moment to brew them to proper potency."

Narrator: Omeluum turns away to prepare the potion, lost in its own musings.

"You must drink the entire draught. I can make no promises as to its taste."

Hector squints at the slightly smoking potion vial Omeluum hands to him. "What exactly is this going to do to me?"

"It will lower the psionic defenses around the larva. If I cannot remove it, I may still be able to tell you more about its origin."

(The insight check that Hector just biffed at this point is mildly concerning.)

Hector stares at the potion again for a long moment, then glances towards the others behind him. Karlach gives him a slight nod, and Gale is watching the proceedings with intense interest. Shadowheart's expression is unreadable.

Drink the potion.

Narrator: [CONSTITUTION] The potion is disgusting beyond description. The only mercy is that it goes down quickly.

Omeluum nods approvingly. "Not a drop left. Very good. As the potion influences your mind, you may find yourself acting irrationally. Try and stay focused."

Hector feels bile climbing into his mouth as he dry heaves, trying to keep the potion down. Every muscle in his body is tense as he concentrates through a sudden wave of dizziness.

Narrator: The world loses its edges, its finer boundaries. You are fluid, but trapped, like a creature suspended in amber.

[MONK][SAVING THROW] Use meditation to clear your mind.

Narrator: Drawing on a lifetime of practice, you center yourself. Your body is an anchor, implacable and calm. The tadpole spasms, seizes. It's fighting the potion even harder than you are. Fear pierces through your mind like knives of ice. The parasite digs deeper, as if it means to hollow out your skull.

Hector lets out a moan of terror and pain, falling to his knees, clutching at his skull. An inarticulate prayer crosses his lips, calling to Selune for aid, for comfort, instinctually.

[CLERIC][SAVING THROW] Call to your god for protection.

Narrator: The cold blades lose their edge. You are stalwart, turning that tide of fear against itself. The parasite swells with power - more power than you have ever felt before. It surges and twists, lashing out against that which would dare to intrude.

Dimly, Hector can hear Omeluum cry out in pain. The mind flayer staggers back as if struck. The agony in his head is overwhelming. And then...it begins to fade.

Narrator: The parasite in your mind quiets, pleased with itself.

For a long moment there is silence, Hector and Omeluum both breathing heavily, the others looking on with concern and fear. Finally Hector looks up and finds the mind flayer looking at him with an expression that is distinctly unnerved even in the inhuman face.

"That larva is like nothing I have ever observed before," it says, somewhat unsteadily. "Its power is...unsettling."

"You were supposed to make it weaker, not stronger!" Hector rasps out, staggering up to his feet again and swaying.

"You have my deepest apologies," Omeluum says, and though its voice is still placid, Hector can hear the regret in it. "The larva did not care for my intentions."

Hector closes his eyes, tries again to find the equilibrium that served him against the tadpole itself. To let the anger and fear go, or at least return to its usual simmer in the back of his mind. "So I went through all this and the tadpole's still lodged in my brain?" he asks evenly.

Omeluum did not have a particularly good answer at this point, though he was willing to sell us a ring of mind-shielding for a fairly reasonable price. I actually feel a little bad taking it since he said it was his protection against Elder Brains, but he's a smart cookie and presumably wouldn't offer it if he didn't have any other options.

Shadowheart and Omeluum both have rather uninspiring comments to end the conversation.

Shadowheart's is sardonic. "That thing better work. If it doesn't...I doubt you'll be in any position to complain."

Omeluum's is ominous. "Of course, the larva remains. Be ever-vigilant of its growth."