#WHY? WHYYY did HE SAY THAT

[weidli]

okay yeah i knew 1x14 was gonna be like this but still. fucking Oof

[hypocriticaltalkingseal]

I have gotten far too comfortable and used to referring to people by baby, babe, baby boy and baby girl when they've done an idiocy

[finely-tuned-line]

theoretically could an iterator turn themself into a lizard. for science

RP:

FTL: Depends on what you mean by 'turn themselves into'. Do you mean a 1:1 of all the cells being transformed into those of a lizard? Or do you mean their consciousness getting transplaced into or replacing that of the lizard?

FTL: Because the answer to the first one is 'no'. Not only is the total mass of an Iterator much, much larger than that of a lizard - any type of lizard - but there is the simple fact that Iterators are biomechanical. Lizards are biological (except for in rare edge cases). You cannot transform one into the other without losing something.

FTL: As for the latter, well... maybe? It would rely upon isolating and containing the Iterator's personality and most important functionalities. Doing so would lose nearly all of said Iterator's capacity to do anything at all. An Iterator's consciousness is impossible to pin down in one place. Even if you were to simply take the main personality matrix and use that, that would still be a devastating loss of ability. And even then, said container would have to be mechanical or digital, and then implanted into the brain of the lizard, overriding its own consciousness. Which one could say completely defeats the purpose in some ways.

FTL: So though it may be possible in that way, it really wouldn't work out in any way at all. You cannot degrade such a vast and complex being that much. A lizard's brain cannot handle even the most basic thoughts of a much more complex being, not on any level, unless it becomes a biomechanical being via the implantation of said personality chip, in which case it's still highly questionable. The Iterator whose mind now hypothetically occupies that of a lizard, would not know how to function, how to do anything at all. We're not made to be lizards, we're made to solve problems and do things, with nearly everything we need just a thought away (though that particular quality has eroded over time). We rely upon processes that do things for us. It'd simply be impossible to sustain oneself like that. Drastic change never does anything good.

FTL: I will conclude that the answer is 'no'. Any other possibilities I can think of are clearly preposterous and make even less sense than even the second option presented here. Unless some external force with unmeasurable power - a true god, not a relative god such as an Iterator - exists and decides to change the very laws of reality or perform such a transformation for incomprehensible reasons (most likely amusement), which I do think is unlikely, then no. It's impossible.

[realboutfatalfury]

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay <- full of fighting games

[sophiagrimes]

that post from ages ago that was like “you always think you want to skip royals by lorde cus its overplayed until you get to the gold teeth gray goose and then youre stuck because holy shit this song bangs” is how i feel with willow by taylor swift until the more that you say the less i know

[livwritessometimes]

King of My Heart

: Mason Mount x singer!reader

: Y/n realises that she’s finally ready to let go of the past

: Prev | Next

: Begin Again Series

: Main Masterlist

: Author's Note: Were you able to guess the title? If not well there will be a next part 👀

…

liked by masonmount and 95,728 others

👤: kellypiquet, maxverstappen, joaofelix79, masonmount

Yourname: Life at it’s finest ✨

view all 80,628 comments

kellypiquet: We should go to photo booths more often!!

*liked by Yourname*

-> Yourname: Yessss!!! Next time we’ll take P too 💕

*liked by kellypiquet*

maxverstappen: No more game night that’s for sure 👍🏻

→ Yourname: You’re just saying that because you lost at UNO

→ maxverstappen: I got 4 plus 4’s FOUR Y/N!!!! DO YOU THINK THAT’S A JOKE!

-> joaofelix79: seems like someone is still not over last night 🤭

-> Yourname: ikrrr like can you imagine 😂

-> User66: are you seeing Y/n and Joao’s CHEMISTRY!!! 😍😍

User02: why is mason not commenting???

-> User11: maybe because he doesn’t want to get involved with her and honestly good for him! She’s way to problematic for him anyways

joaofelix79 added to their story!

seen by Yourname and 53,490 others

liked by masonmount and 90,629 others

Yourname: Enjoying some down time 🕰️

view all 62,305 comments

joaofelix79: I wonder who bought that book for you 🤔

-> Yourname: don’t know, some fan maybe 🤷🏻‍♀️

-> joaofelix79: is that so 👀

User00: Istg why are they playing with my heart like that JUST TELL US IF YOU’RE DATING OR NOT????

User44: you’re so pretty 😍

User69: Is that text from Joao 😏

liked by kellypiquet and 105,829 others

Yourname: This football thing is not that bad ⚽️

view all 91,628 comments

masonmount: Maybe that’s because of a certain player 🏟️

*liked by Yourname*

-> Yourname: hmm 🤔 I doubt that

-> User65: MASON AND Y/N OMGGG

-> User12: I ran THREE traffic lights to see this comment because my friends called me and started screaming 😭😭 I’m so glad that I did ✊🏻

joaofelix79: Wow I see how it is. How come you’re never at my game ????

-> Yourname: Now now there is no need to feel sad. Yk you’re my fav EA sports 😚

-> joaofelix79: WHYYY?? just let it gooo already 🥲

-> Yourname: never ✌🏻

liked by User84 and 59,727 others

👤: Yourname, magui_corceiro

CelebGossip: Battle of the Ex’s! Y/n L/n and Margarida Corceiro were spotted having a heated argument in a club in Portugal. Y/n was at the club with some of her friends, who also happen to be acquaintances with Magui. It is believed that Joao was the one who introduced them to Y/n. According to bystanders, Magui saw Y/n and started making sarcastic remarks about her friendship with Joao. The two were later seen engaging in a heated discussion with wild gestures from both sides. Sources say that Y/n soon left the club. It is still not clear exactly what the exchange was about, but all we can say is that we’re eagerly waiting for their next encounter. 

view all 37,618 comments

User66: I was so expecting to see Y/n throw hands!! I’m disappointed 😔

User00: I just wanna know what Lando and Joao have to say about this 😝

liked by masonmount and 122,780 others

👤: joaofelix79

Yourname: Why you so obsessed with me, girl I wanna know 😌

view all 102,728 comments

joaofelix79: 😎

*liked by Yourname*

User21: Oh you shady lil thing!!!! AHHHH

User09: imagine being M***i!!!! I can’t 😭😭

User57: you’re so desperate! Can’t let go of Lando can you. Now you have to come for his girl as well 🙄

User32: oh I bet Y/n and Joao had so much fun taking these pictures!!! I WISH I COULD WITNESS THAT!!!!!

User77: You’re so petty. This is why things didn’t work out for you and Lando. Like I can’t imagine how happy he would have been after he left you. Poor Mason or Joao or whoever you’re dating. Best of luck to them cause they are sure as hell gonna need it. You’re so pathetic, get a life!

masonmount added to their story!

seen by Yourname and 175,929 others

liked by masonmount and 103,882 others

👤: kellypiquet, alexandrasaintmleux, joaofelix79, maxverstappen, charles_leclerc

Yourname: My broken bones are mending 🏖️

view all 89,628 comments

kellypiquet: Best part was giving Max and Charles sand boobs 😂

*liked by Yourname*

-> charles_leclerc: I still can’t believe you guys did that :(

-> alexandrasaintmleux: boo hoo Charles! Go cry me a river

-> charles_leclerc: You’ve been spending too much time with Y/n

-> alexandrasaintmleux: ik 🥰

-> Yourname: ily bbg 😘

-> charles_leclerc: NO BACK OFF 🤺

maxverstappen: I should have expected this. It was my fault I fell asleep 🙂

-> User58: NOO 😭😭 max is so used to this with Kelly and Y/n that he’s not even fighting it anymore

maxverstappen: @/joaofelix79 and @/masonmount why didn’t you stop them???

-> joaofelix79: they threatened to tie us to the ice cream truck 🥲

-> User23: waittttt did Max just confirm that Mason was also with them????????

liked by masonmount and 158,628 others

👤: masonmount

Yourname: And all it once, you are the one I had been waiting for ❤️

My new single King of My Heart out at midnight 🕛

view all 79,721 comments

kellypiquet: I’m SO HAPPY for you!!! Words can’t express how happy I am

*liked by Yourname*

-> Yourname: I love you so much kells

alexandrasaintmleux: Finallyyy!! Double dates whennn??

-> Yourname: For you, I’m ready to drop everything right now! Just say the word

-> charles_leclerc: @/Yourname 🤺🤺

joaofelix79: Wow! He had you at his game before me and now he has a song before me TOO!!!! Seriously Y/n it’s like you don’t wanna be friends or something

-> Yourname: You’re such a drama queen 👑

-> joaofelix79: Loud and Proud!!! 👸🏼

masonmount: I love you

-> Yourname: what a sap 😏

-> masonmount: I love you a little less now

-> Yourname: fine!! I love you too 💕

-> masonmount: ☺️

…

Tags: @jobesbabe | @fifantasys | @evans-dejong | @msliz | @lokideservesahug | @jpg3 | @jxnellat | @spoodergirl | @themirrorballgal | @sarah-thatstings-ann | @newlifeforus | @eiaaasantha | @hotgirlslikemax | @2pagenumb | @avni-sarai | @wobblymug | @lunamelona | @boredmadamoiselle | @reidsworld | @evasmlp | @saachiep81 | @prettypink11 | @larastark3107 | @bowielovesyou | @dilflover44

[phas3d]

Slytherin boys as gamer bfs and what games they would play with their significant other?

Gamers >:) | Slytherin Boys

type :: fluff

tw/cw :: cock fighting, animal cruelty, gambling, threats (these are all for fucking tom bc ofc it is...) - suicide joke (mattheo)

contains :: draco, tom. mattheo, theodore, lorenzo

notes :: im ngl idk half of these games in depth - i just heard and seen the sterotypes of these games - fps = first person shooter, dbh = detroit become human, abg = asian baby girl, bow = breathe of the wild ||

DRACO MALFOY sims 4 / roblox

This man sucks ass at gaming, he literally can't do it

His aim is shit, he screams when he's in a fight, and he rage quits the second he loses

So he has to stick to girly games

He has so many mods and cc for sims that it's insane

His pc runs like it's on life support because of this, pls save that poor computer

And he likes playing roblox too sometimes

But he doesn't even play the normal games

Bro plays Dress To Impress and Maple Hospital...

Like what the fuck are you doing there??? Go on BloxFruits or smth man

What's even worse is he eats EVERYONEEE up in Dress to Impress, he literally always top 3

And when he isn't top 3, he curses and swears but it doesn't go through cause tags

He literally cannot do obbys either oh my fucking god

You know that one meme of Sadness from Inside Out dropping her popcorn and someone quote-tweets it saying, "Damn she can't do anything"

That's exactly who Draco is when it comes to gaming

TOM RIDDLE dark web gambling / elden ring

Oh my fucking God this guy can't have a normal hobby ever

He doesn't game at all,,, literally just gambling bruh

He hosts illegal gambling rings online and even host some in the school basement

One time he even hosted an illegal cock ring fight...

Yes,,, he stole the chickens from Hagrid and made them fight....

He even used magic to give them powers like pokemon....

He made a fucking WATER chicken and FIRE chicken fight

Thank god he didn't actually let them kill each other, he just did it until one was near death

But back to gambling - he also manipulates people in so many ways

He casts a spell that silently chants "go all in, go all in" so it subconsciously makes people bet more

Bro even gets some students in DEBT!?!?! Like how tf did you do that and WHYYY would you do that

If someone doesn't come down to the basement in a while to gamble,,, then Tom will fix that

Besides illegal gamlbing...

He plays Elden Ring, which is pretty normal

Besides the fact that he BEAT THAT SHIT IN LIKE 2 DAYS?!!??!!?

Normally streamers, pro gamers, they all take weeks and sometimes even months just to make progress

But Tom is just,,, just better ig?

So yeah... He sticks to gambling cause every other game is just too easy for him

MATTHEO RIDDLE gta V / fortnite / rocket league / nba 2k24

God this guy is the worst sterotypical middle school boy ever

He even had the ugly ass big blue headset with the shit mic on it

Plays GTA V every now and then, only when he's angry

That's when he goes around town and just beats the shit out of everyone

Likes playing Fortnite for hours on end with his friends, mostly Theo and Lorenzo cause they can actually keep up with him (Draco is ass at FPS and

Plays rocket league and NBA 2k24 because of fucking course he does - look at him....

He's just a boy....

A really toxic one.....

Definitely screams "KILL YOURSELFFFFF!!!!!!" if he loses and honestly he's kinda real for that

THEODORE NOTT god of war / detroit become human

Loves games that have a long story

It's a good mix of story and fighting, he can't really get into pure FPS games

Have done most routes in DBH and even found easter eggs and hacks

Tries to get you into the lore as well but sometimes it goes so deep you get confused

"NO!!! Connor in route 8 is actually a pretty neutral guy and he's-"

Like bro what??? Why do you know everything about this "Connor" guy??? smh

He dabbles in some FPS sometimes, like playing Fortnite with Matt and Enzo

And he actually REALLY good

Has great aim and precision

But he just can't get into it for some reason, it's not his type

LORENZO BERKSHIRE valorant / zelda breath of the wild

I feel like Enzo playing Valorant makes so so sooo much sense

He's not AS toxic as the other guys, but he's still weird and fuck-boy-ish in his own way

Definitely plays with e-girls and tries to bag an ABG

But he gets catfished....

He's pretty good at Valorant, surprisingly

His mic stays on for every single game... Even if no one else is talking

This man will talk to a fucking wall and still be yapping

"Okay guys way I need to pee" ...

There's only bots in his server.........

He also loves RPG games and stuff like that

So BOW is perfect for him to shut off his mind and just roam and do useless tasks

[sunaluv]

Hi not sure if you take requests i just saw this idea on tiktok 😭i was thinking if you could write isagi, rin, nagi, kaiser where their fem s/o is talking to a friend on the phone and tells them that she got her brazilian wax done by a guy (it could be any name) IM ALREADY CACKLING JUST IMAGINING THEIR REACTION

i know this is kinda suggestive but since it's not necessarily nsfw i'll just take my chance xD

Feel free ignore if you don't feel like writing it! :*

i feel dumb i literally had to look this up to confirm i know what im talking about 😭

feat: isagi, rin, nagi, kaiser

cw: suggestive, cooch talk

ISAGI

isagi watched as you gently pressed down on your crotch, wincing at the sensitive feeling. you could feel his frown from his spot at the doorway despite the fact you’ve insisted you’re fine.

“are you sure you don’t want me to get you some ice or something, babe?” the bed dipped slightly as he sat down, hesitantly placing his hand on your thigh.

you sighed. “i’m fine, ‘chi. i’m not gonna break.” giggling, you moved to sit up on the bed. “i don’t know why it hurt so bad this time, i think he might’ve—“

“he?” his blue eyes blinked.

there was a pause as you chose your next words carefully. “yeah…he…”

his hands pinned your shoulders back down the the bed, his eyes declaring urgency. “you’re telling me another guy saw your,” he gestured down below with his eyes. “for free?!”

patting his cheek gently, you sighed. “technically not for free, i payed him.”

“baby whyyy!”

“relax yoichi,” removing his hands off of you, you sat back up again. “he made sure i was okay with it, the only girl on shift that day was available half an hour before we leave and i’d rather bear the pain now than on the plane.”

the boy held his head in his hands as if he was betrayed and you had to hold back the urge to roll your eyes.

you walked up to him, placing your hand on his shoulder. “if you want, you can come with me next time?”

your eyes finally met as he craned his neck up. “yeah,” he wiped his running nose. when he started crying you do not know. “i-i’ll go with you next time.”

“good god. and they say women are more dramatic.” you muttered, leaving your boyfriend to sulk on his own.

RIN

the car was awkwardly silent as you and rin sat in the parking lot. he had just came to pick you up but was caught off guard by the guy giving you aftercare instructions for your brazilian wax.

“…did he wax you?” he was hesitant to ask.

you were silent as you contemplated the best way to go around this.

“i see how it is.” he obviously mistook your silence. “was there nobody else to do it? preferably someone with less meat between their legs?”

your eyes widened and you had to swallow your laughter. “rin that’s inappropriate. he’s just a waxer.” you regained composure.

“my ass,” he sighed, finally starting the car. “he couldn’t possibly have gotten you right, he’s a guy he doesn’t know his way around pussy.”

“…you’re also a guy?”

“and?”

“do you know your way around pussy?”

he side eyed you, knuckles whitening as his grip on the wheel increased. “i don’t know [name], do i?”

you silence spoke all he needed to know. “then it’s settled, i’ll wax you next time.”

“okay.”

“okay?”

“okay, rin.” you chuckled. “who knew you could be so jealous.”

“nobody’s jealous.”

when you arrived home, you didn’t see rin for the next hour, little did you know he was cooped up in your shared bedroom, watching various waxing tutorials.

NAGI

your legs swung as you chatted on the phone idly whilst your boyfriend played games on his pc.

“how was your brazilian girlll!” your friends voice sounded around the room.

you sighed. “it hurt so bad! you didn’t tell me how much pain i was gonna be in!” you frowned dramatically to the camera. “luckily the guy was nice and gave me a heads up and all.”

the nonchalant demeanor of your white haired boyfriend dissipated as he got off his game at record speed and snatched the phone out of your hand, ending the call.

“…did you just say he?” his brows furrowed and his bottom lip jutted out ever so slightly.

“hey i was talking!” you got up. “give me the phone, sei.”

“how could you let another man see you like that,” he dropped down to his knees dramatically, hugging your torso. “if you wanted to break up with me, you coulda’ just said so ya know.”

“relax you big baby,” you chuckled stroking his hair. “he was just waxing, it’s not like he had his fingers inside of me.”

he squeezed tighter. “don’t say that!” his face pressed into your stomach. “and don’t say ‘he’”

you laughed silently at his theatrics, moving to lie down on the bed.

for the next hour (yes hour :|) you stroked nagi’s hair comfortingly, dismissing his mutters about the poor waxer man who was just trying to do his job.

KAISER

you were catching up with a friend at the football stadium after the match had ended. the stadium had cleared out a bit, leaving you two some time to gossip.

“how’ve ya been girl,” she looped an arm around yours. “i feel like i haven’t seen you in forever!”

you laughed, “i’ve been good, mostly working and stuff.”

the two of you idly gossiped, not realizing there were a few people left. your friend left with her husband, giving you a business card before you met up with kaiser to leave the stadium.

“hello beautiful,” he kissed the back of your hand. “what do you have there?”

you skimmed the front and back of the card before handing it to him. “a business card for my waxer my friend recommended. he did a good job, might get him to do my next one…”

“who did a great job?” he asked incredulously.

you repeated the name of your waxer.

“that sounds like a guys name,” he chuckled.

“because he is a guy…” you trailed off.

there was silence for a couple seconds before a rip sounded through the air.

“kaiser!” you snatched the torn card out of his hands. “why would you do that!”

“he’s a guy!” he stated as if that’s a valid reason. “how can i sleep at night knowing my lady is letting another man tend to her bushes?!”

flustered, you turned your back to him. “stop talking like that!” you held your face in your hands. “…you’re embarrassing me…”

he breathed deeply before turning you around by your shoulders. “i’m sorry, sweetheart,” he peeled your hands from your face, angling your neck to meet his eyes.

“how about i make you a compromise, hmm?” his smile told you just about how unfair this was going to be. “i won’t talk about you tending your bushes if you stop letting other men see it, okay?”

he stuck out his hand and moved yours to shake it before you could protest.

“you don’t play fair, you know that?” you interlocked your hands before heading out.

“of course i know that,” he grinned, pearly teeth and all. “how else do you think i’ve come so far.”

kaiser could now get a peaceful sleep knowing he is the only one between your legs.

[sterredem]

Obsessed

Oscar Piastri x singer!reader

Face claim Olivia Rodrigo

Warning stalking (online), not proofread, Speling mistakes

Summary y/n is obsessed with her boyfriend’s ex.

A/n We are just gonna say that Lilly’s account is public… so that everything makes sense.

Also this may be more of a Lilly x reader the an Oscar one… it’s also a bit short… and this is probably the only fic you’ll get in a bit

Instagram

120.124 likes

F1.Gossip BREAKING NEWS: Our favourite young couple, Oscar Piastri and Lilly Zneimer has reportedly broken up! After their 4 years and a bit realation the couple found out that they where better of as friends then being together. Many hard are broken after hearing this news, but they claim that they are still friends. We wish them both the best with their careers, and we with them the best in future relationships.

View all 2.234 comments

User1 NOOOOOOOOO😭😭😭😭

User2 I don’t believe in love anymore😭😭

User3 WHYYY?!?!💔

User4 Hearts ♥️ been. Broken 💔 Too. Many. Times ⏳😭😭

User5 MY FAVROUTE COUPLE😭😭😢

User6 Why am I so upset at a couple that I don’t even know😭😭

|———————————<3—————————————|

Twitter

|———————————<3—————————————|

Time skip

Twitter

|———————————<3—————————————|

Real life

Y/n knew she was crazy. It was actually sociopathic what she was doing. She was stalking her boyfriend’s ex girlfriend.

And not stalking stalking. She was not following her in real life… just on social media.

She was just going through the girls instagram photos, looking up everything about her, wanting to know everything that there is about the girl.

Beside that she was also looking at old Twitter threads, shortly after the break up was leaking by a gossip account F1 Twitter went crazy, they loved the couple. They made comments upon comments expressing their hard break at the news, they also still make post dedicated to Lilly and her achievements. And it tore the singer apart.

And she has to admit; lily is perfect.

And that was the worst ever.

Lilly was sweet, good with kids, talented, smart, funny, gorgeous and genuine. And maybe even far better than herself.

She now knew almost everything about her: her star sign, her blood type, her family, hot what school she goes to and on what class she was in. She knows that she slept on her side of Oscar’s bed (which didn’t make her feel good). And other things that Oscar had told her, with them knowing each other and being friends while they were dating and him finding comfort in her after the break up.

And she knows it was crazy; they broke up. They don’t even speak anymore! But still, every time he says her name, Y/n can’t help but think that he mistakes herself for his ex.

So she has to admit, she is jealous.

She always knew she had some kind of a problem, but this?

She thought about Lilly 24/7. If you knew how much she thought about the girl, you’d think she was in love.

And if you’d know how much she looked at her pictures, you’d think that they were best friends.

And that was the moment she realised: she was Obsessed with Lilly Zneimer, her boyfriend’s ex.

And not obsessed in a normal way, she wasn’t just jealous of the amazing girl, no.

She had a had a whole white board dedicated to her: all the things she liked, the things she did, the clothes she white (thanks to the fan accounts), the people she hangs out with, her hobby’s, her go to food places, everything.

She was really going crazy.

Not that Oscar knew, of course he didn’t. If he did he would break up with her for her sociopathic behaviour.

After realising that, she knew there were few things she could do.

So she walked through the house to her music room, she sat down, and begin writing.

She needed to stop with the obsession, and the only way for that was music.

|———————————<3—————————————|

Instagram

Liked by LillyZneimer and 2.964.624 others

Yourusername SUPRISE! My new song ‘obsessed’ is out now! The music video will be out midnight est!!

Thank you @DanielNigro With working with me on this!

View all 264.275 comments

OscarPiastri Excuse me??

OscarPiastri Why didn’t I know?

Yourusername …suprise…?

SabrinaCarpenter AMAZING (but also…?)

GracieAbrams Another banger!!

Laufey The best song ever!

Conangray Girl, check your msg

User7 HUH??

User8 This ganre swich is INSANE! but I love the rock!

User9 Dare I say that this is about… Lilly

User10 Y/n in her stalking era

User11 Nit Lilly liking this😭😂

User12 The aesthetic😍

User13 Oscar didn’t know??

|———————————<3—————————————|

Instagram

212.543 likes

Celeberty.Gossip After recent speculations that Y/n Y/l/n’ new song ‘obsessed’ is about Lilli Zneimer (Oscar Piastri’s ex girlfriend) The pair was seen hanging out and shopping together. Is the song about someone else? Is there a sudden new friendship? What is going on?

View all 3.765 comments

User1 OMG?!

User2 the line about them being best friends?

User3 Or about them being in love??

User4 I don’t know what’s going on but I love it!

User5 They look very good (together)

User6 I ship…

|———————————<3—————————————|

No part 2… open ending!!

[lovries]

A LOVE EPIPHANY

featuring. the demon brothers (lucifer, mammon, leviathan, satan, asmodeus, beelzebub, belphegor).

summary. they're so confused— you're sudden avoiding them/acting super shy! well, they don't seem to realize it's because you figured out you've got a crush on them!

warning. gn! reader, not proofread, levi on the verge of an anxiety attack, physical affection (asmodeus).

꒰ ♡ ꒱ ─── LUCIFER

"Lucifer? You called for me?" You couldn't meet his gaze, stepping into his room apprehensively. Your stomach was already churning, your heart doing flips. It was plain and simple, you had a crush on Lucifer. Of course, after figuring this out, you couldn't help but grow shy around him, trying to avoid him when you can. And he noticed.

"I did, come in." Closing the door behind you, you make your way to the front of him, shifting your weight from foot to foot. "You're not in trouble, no need to be so nervous." He teased, however you only tensed further. He had no idea at all, it seemed, that you were nervous for a completely different reason.

"Uhm, what did you need then?" Lucifer sighs when you don't look at him. Seriously, what had gotten into you? Were you mad at him? Had he done something you didn't like? He just couldn't figure it out!

"Well, I suppose there's no need to beat around the bush," He says, clearing his throat, his fingers clasping together, "Have I done something to upset you, Y/n? I've noticed... well, your behavior has been quite strange as of late. if I can fix whatever it was, please let me know. Everyone would like your time here in the Devildom to be as comfortable as possible."

Internal screaming. You're internally screaming. He noticed that you've been acting shy as of late, and he thinks it's because you're mad at him!? You groan, hiding your burning face in your hands.

"Uhm, I- I'm not mad at you, so don't worry..." Lucifer furrows his brows. If you're not mad at him then why...

Oh.

Lucifer couldn't help the small smirk that tugged on the corner of his lips. "I see," He clears his throat, hoping to cover up the chuckle that wants to escape. "Very well, you may leave now." Before you fully leave though, Lucifer makes on last comment. "Ah, and Y/n... Please do wear formalwear this Saturday."

"W... What for?"

"I'll be making a reservation at Ristorante Six." He finished with a wink, grinning at the way you seemed to short-circuit.

꒰ ♡ ꒱ ─── MAMMON

You've been locking your door, going to bed early, taking a different route home, avoiding where he works. At first Mammon tried to brush it off as just a coincidence or that you were just in a crappy mood, but then he realized... He's the only one you're avoiding! And damn it, but you're so good at avoiding him, no matter how hard he tries to talk to you, you manage to slip away each time.

"Oi! Y/n!" Mammon grinned at finally catching you in the hallways of RAD. He was accompanied with Asmo, who couldn't help but watch in amusement as your eyes nearly popped out of your head before you took off. "Wha- Hey! Get back 'ere you- Ugh..." You were too far gone, and Mammon was too sad to chase you.

"My, my, dear older brother, it seems someone is shy around you," Asmo giggled, only for Mammon to sigh and slump forward.

"Yeah, I just don't know whyyy." He drags out the sentence with a whine, "I didn't even do anythin' this time- uh, I don't think so anyways?" He glances over at Asmo he's stifling a giggle. Seriously, Asmo knew his brother was dense, but this badly? Jeez, Asmo guesses he'll help him out just this once.

"Listen closely, okay?" Mammon nods, leaning in, a serious and concentrated look on his face. "Y/n," Mammon nods again, listening intently, "Likes you."

Mammon can only stare at Asmodeus as he tries to process this new information, before he's obnoxiously gasping and flailing around. "A- Are ya serious? Ya better not be lyin' to me, ya understand? I- I gotta go!" Mammon nearly trips over himself, taking off in the direction that you went. Asmo rolls his eyes, but he's happy for his brother.

Meanwhile, you think you've finally found a safe spot from Mammon. It's not that you want to avoid him, but you can't stand the sick feeling in your stomach when you get around him, or how your brain can't think straight, or how sweaty your hands get! You just want it to go back to how it was, when you were oblivious to your feelings.

You jump when the door slams open, and you look over to see a very out of breath Mammon. "I," he heaves, "I finally found ya." Seems like there is no where to run this time.

꒰ ♡ ꒱ ─── LEVIATHAN

Whilst you tried not to avoid Leviathan, mostly because you knew he'd have a panic attack and would begin degrading himself senseless, you knew your attitude around him shifted. Instead of being your usual self, you've grown incredibly shy and self conscious, and all because you had to realize your feelings.

Like now, it's incredibly awkward as you two sit in silence. You were doing well at hiding your shyness when Leviathan had to reach over you to grab a snack— suddenly you had cringed away from him. Levi faltered, and tried not to immediately blame himself. Maybe you were so immersed in the show? But it wasn't long until he was blaming himself.

"I- I'm sorry," Leviathan finally whimpers out, "I understand if you don't wanna be here with me anymore— it must suck being stuck with a y- yucky otaku like me, huh?" He's mumbling out other self-deprecating words, and you can't stand to hear them.

"Levi," you timidly call out, fiddling with your fingers, glancing over at him. When he doesn't respond, you call his name out a little louder. He doesn't respond again, instead he's stopping the movie and pacing the floor, lost in his thoughts.

"Y- You've actually been really weird lately too, like distant and quiet, i- is it because you're finally sick of me? I'm sorry, you d- deserve better, you don't have to pretend to be my friend anymore, I- I-"

"Leviathan!" You finally manage to gather the courage to yell his name, and he comes to a still, looking at you in shock. If he wasn't so surprised at you yelling at him, he's sure there'd be tears in his eyes. With shaky hands he wrings his own wrists.

"Y... Yeah?"

"Listen, I..." A lump forms in your throat, but you try to ignore it. "I don't hate you or anything, I want to keep being your friend, I promise." He seems to relax a little, although still anxious. "I didn't mean to flinch, you just... surprised me? I can't really tell you but... Just trust me, I- I don't hate you."

It's quiet for a few minutes, before he's sitting in his spot next to you again. "Okay... I don't know... I don't know what's going on with you but... I'll trust you." He gives you a soft, nervous smile, and if you had been weaker, you're sure you would've passed out at how cute he was.

꒰ ♡ ꒱ ─── SATAN

It was cute... At first. Satan wasn't entirely sure why you had grown shy around him, but he did enjoy teasing you and seeing you grow more flustered than usual. It was nice, until he realized you could barely form a sentence around him. He missed having intellectual conversations, deep conversations that could range into the early hours of the morning. Now he's more annoyed at your reservedness.

Satan watches as you fumble over your words, barely getting a sentence out. You startle when he clears his throat, glancing over at him. Despite figuring out you had a massive crush on Satan, you tried your hardest to still hold conversations with him... but it was just so hard! You kept getting distracted by his stupidly attractive face, or you'd slip into daydreams of more romantic interactions with him (which you'd then get embarrassed about because he's literally right there).

"I've been thinking," Satan begins, "You've been shy lately. Is it possibly because there's something you want to tell me?" He guesses he's right when he notices the way your shoulders tense. "You know, you can tell me whatever it is, I won't judge you." Of course you knew he wouldn't judge you, still... it was hard to confess you liked him— You barely even began to grasp it yourself!

"It's nothing, r- really..." You're playing with the hem of your shirt, your face growing warm. You imagine what it'd be like to confess to him right now, would he accept your feelings? If he did, he'd surely whisk you off your feet! Ah, just the thought if making your heart flutter! You giggle to yourself, lost in thought, when Satan clears his throat and you jump out of your daydream.

"I promise!" You say, almost a little too defensively. "It's... It's really nothing," The room only seems to get warmer as he leans in further, his face only a mere few inches from yours. He's inspecting you, trying to see if you're lying. And if he deems it so or not, he doesn't tell you. He pulls back and sighs.

"I'll trust you for now..." You let out a silent breath of relief. You'll have to either start hiding your crush better, or plan on confessing soon.

꒰ ♡ ꒱ ─── ASMODEUS

This was hard. Having a crush on Asmodeus is hard. Prior to you realizing your crush on him, you never minded his extra affection— the way he'd hug you when he saw you, or the way he'd casually hold your hand whilst walking, or the way he'd lean in real close and put an arm around your shoulder, or the way he'd pull you in to dance with him— all of his usual actions, they all began to fluster you more and more.

"A- Asmo!" You squeak as he wraps his arms around your waist and nuzzle into your back. He giggles, only tightening his hold around you.

"You're not getting away from me this time!" He coos teasingly. Asmodeus has most definitely taken notice to the way you've been pulling away from his touch, but that only made him double down on his actions. "You're starting to hurt my feelings, you know?" He pouts, loosening his grip so you can turn around. Staring down at his little pout only worsens the condition of your rapidly beating heart.

"Asmodeus," You sigh, putting your hands on his arms and gently prying him away. "It's just... This kind of affection... i- it's usually reserved for... lovers," you whisper the last part, ignoring your warm cheeks. "It's embarrassing."

This only furthers his pout, and he backs away from you with crossed arms. "Hmph, you didn't find it embarrassing before! What changed, hm?"

Geez, he really had no clue...

You thought his vanity would make him guess it in seconds, but it seems not. You look the other way, unable to meet his inquisitive eyes. "Let's just drop it..." You mumble. His gaze was so intense, you were beginning to feel almost naked under his eyes.

Asmo lets out a loud, obnoxious sigh, "Fine. But we will be circling back to it later!" He takes your hand and giggles at your shock. "Geez, you're acting like you have a crush on me or something," Your stomach drops, although it doesn't take you long to realize he was joking... "C'mon, I just got some new nail polish in the mail, I wanna test them out~"

꒰ ♡ ꒱ ─── BEELZEBUB

It honestly took Beelzebub a long time to figure out you were acting different. It wasn't until he saw the look on your face when he had offered you some of his snack that he realized something was off about you.

"Hmm... Have you noticing something different about them?" Beel asked, looking over at Belphegor (who had been napping peacefully until he was interrupted). Belphie groaned, forcing himself to sit up and look over at you. You were a bit further away, working on a project with Mammon.

"Uh... No? They seem like their usual annoying self. Why?" Belphie slumps against Beel, and Beel sighs in frustration as he shoves some chips in his mouth.

"It just seems like... they're avoiding me... maybe... or something, ugh, I don't know." Belphie frowned. Whatever it was, it was really irritating Beel, which mean it was now annoying Belphie.

"If it's bothering you that much, then just ask'em." Beel scratches his head, his frown only growing.

"That's the thing! Whenever I try to talk to them, they get all quiet and kinda jittery." It then dawns on Belphie what exactly is happening. Ah, you've finally realized your giant crush on Beel, have you? Belphie snickers, causing Beel to furrow his brows. What was he laughing at? "Do you know what's happening?"

"I have an idea." Belphie yawns, stretching out before slumping back down. "Let me know when ya figure it out, okay?" Beel wants to ask what he means, but Belphie is already fast asleep. Seems like Beel won't figure it out anytime soon.

꒰ ♡ ꒱ ─── BELPHEGOR

Belphegor is beyond annoyed— his favorite pillow is gone! Whatever's made you so shy and squirmy is really beginning to irk him. He's just trying to sleep but you keep wiggling about and kicking up a fuss. He groans, and a part of him wants to sink his nails into your thigh and keep you still... but he refrains.

"Why are you being more bothersome than usual?" Belphie finally grumbles out, rolling over to look up at you. "Well? Spit it out, so I can put a stop to it and you can go back to doing what you do best; being my pillow."

If only he knew that he was the problem. He'd probably tell you to stop being dumb and throw a pillow at your face. You sigh, anxiously playing with his hair. He purrs at the touch, his eyelids dropping, he almost fell asleep, almost- until you were squirming around again!

"Alright," He forces himself to sit up, glaring at you. "Tell me. Now." What a brat. You question why you like him, only to be reminded that you do, and grow shy.

"It's nothing..." You mumble under your breath, but clearly Belphie isn't going to be satisfied with just that.

"Nothing? Nothing is making me lose precious hours of sleep?" You open your mouth to speak, only to close it. He blinks once, then twice, before shaking his head. "You... You're... Look, I won't tease you, so just tell me."

You debate it, you really do, but you just can't seem to find the courage to actually get the words out. Wringing your wrists, you try to force the lump in your throat to go away. "I'll try to be still..."

Not the answer he wanted, but he can see how reluctant you are to share, and (begrudgingly) decides not to push it (because then you might leave him)!

"Fine, whatever..." He'll be bringing it up later though; He'll figure out the reason for your sudden shyness whether you like it or not!

﹙ thank you for reading! have a wonderful day! ﹚

[petew21-blog]

Life upgrade

Hi, I am Earl Montgomery. I am 34 year old gay man. I studied history and enhlish literature at Columbia and then I became a teacher. I have been working as a teacher since than and I have to say that being a teacher is one of the most honorable proffesions there are. You get to educate all the young minds and set them on a right path in life. If only they would listen to me during classes. Maybe my life wouldn't be so boring. The job takes all my energy. I never believed that so many teachers get burnt out, but man. Once you see that your job affects only few of those kids and the rest just doesn't care, you contemplate back on your life. What could I have done different? I could have had a happy, adventurous life full of fun and sex. Oh how I miss the sex.

Oh sorry, my bad. You thought the guy wearing sports clothes is me? Oh no no no. This is me actually

That guy is Barry. The gym teacher. He's the same age as me. But his life is much better. He works as a gym teacher, coach and in his free time he is a personal trainer in gym. He gets to coach all the hot bodybuilders and sometimes women, that lust over him a later on sleep with him.

I onced tried to hit on him, thinking he might be bisexual, but ended up being ignored for the rest of the school year. He started talking to me again recently and that's fine. If there is no drama it's all good. Besides. He has his own life full of sport and travelling around the world, fucking everything that moves. And I have my own life. My slightly boring and depresive life.

Who am I kidding? I hate my life. I wish I were Barry. To have his hot body, his libido, his life full of travellling and fucking everyone.

Suddenly it was so bright all around me. I was in a garage. Running. I stopped. Where am I? Why am I running? How did I get here?

I looked around but the place was empty. Then I looked down and saw the grey clothes for sport that Barry has. "This can't be". I walked over to the nearest car and saw Barry. No, I saw my reflection.

"Well well well. Can't ignore me now, huh?" I flexed my biceps over the shirt. So freaking hot. He is so buff. Must be amazing to be so strong and have strong muscles like this. His skin is so tense and beautiful. I gotta go somewhere more private to look what he's hiding under this. Don't know how this freaky friday will last.

Vibration in my pocket. Some girls want to have a private class with me in the gym. But the emojis don't seem like they want to take the training very seriously. Might be fun.

"Flex for the camera. Perfect!"

"Omg Barry, you're really hot. How did you get so big?"

"You think this is big... you haven't seen all of me yet. Haha" Where the hell was this coming from? Why did I say that?

"Really? We were actually thinking you coul help us stretch some time and show us how to do this to not hurt ourselves."

"I can stretch you both now in the showers, babes" Whyyy am I saying this. I'm not straight for fucks sake. Oh no. I'm not, but Barry is. I need to get back. I can't be straight.

1 hour later

"Thanks Barry. What a great personal class. Haha. Same time next week?" the taller oned asked while walking away from the gym

"You bet!" the sex was really good I have to admit that. But only this body craves it. Not me. I am gay, I don't want to watch pussy all day.

Phone vibrated again

Holy shit, A message from my number:"Hey, I don't know what you did to me, but I just jerked off for the third time thinking about my own body and I can't keep doing this... I want to swa... SUUCK your dick"

Oh maan, he has the same problem as I do. His body responds to what the person craved before, bout our minds didn't change our sexual orientation it seems.

"Came to your body's place in 30 minutes. Bring lube. Don't be late" I texted. I love this confidence the body is so full off.

And I bet I am gonna love the fact that my old body is gonna suck my dick very soon.

Haha. Gotta thank the istock photos for the inspiration

Story from inbox: Would you be able to do a story where a nerdy teacher swaps bodies with the hunky football coach. Maybe even cucking him?

[haerin1]

This is like suuuppeerrrr silly but i just thought about it >.<

Scara with reader thats on her period

her randomly approaching scara and cupping his cheeks, then proceeded to sob about how pretty he is!!

Just wanna know how he would react and how he would calm her down 🥰

Could be modern or canon au‼️‼️

꒰ఎ ♡ ໒꒱ MY LOVE, MINE ALL MINE.

note: ty for the req !! i hope its ok that i did afab reader, pls enjoy !! :3

[modern au!scara x afab!reader] super fluffy and cute, scara teases a lot, period is mentioned !!

It's a peaceful Saturday night in Scara's shared dorm with his friend, Heizou. You practically live in their dorm at this point because your clingy boyfriend makes you stay so he can see you all the time.

Heizou and Scara are casually playing video games together in their beds when he picks up a sound coming from the bathroom. Scara puts his phone down and sits up from where he was previously laying down.

He remembers you mentioning you were going to go pee but it's been, what, seven minutes now?

Heizou, not looking up from his phone as Scara starts walking to the washroom, mutters, "Need to take a piss again?" Scara rolls his eyes in response. He runs a hand through his soft but messy, dark indigo hair as his other hand lifts up to knock on the bathroom door.

"Open up, it's been a year already," Scara grumbles.

He leans against the door, pressing his ear to the wood as he waits for a response. Scara hears you approaching the door and he steps away. You open it and his brows raise in surprise at the sight of your teary face and the pout on your lips.

"Scara..."

You cry out and throw yourself against him, tightly clinging onto your bewildered boyfriend as you whine, "Why are you so pretty!? It's so unfair!" You sob out, "You have perfect, soft and clear skin and the most gorgeous eyes ever!" You continue sniffling, your tears staining Scara's sweatshirt.

Scara pauses before chuckling a bit, still visibly confused. "What's up with you, idiot," he mumbles, looking to the side as an embarrassed gesture before looking back at you, where you're now hiding your face in his sweatshirt as you cry.

"You're so perfect... whyyy!?"

You cup Scara's face, bringing him up/down (height neutral) to meet your gaze as you frown, "Promise me you won't ever get plastic surgery or... or, or a buzzcut," you sternly say, furrowing your brows together to show Scara you were dead serious.

Scara scoffs, deadpanning at you as he says, "You know I'll never get a buzzcu-" You pinch his cheeks and grumble, "Just promise me!"

Scara winces in pain and sighs, "Okay, okay... I promise I won't get plastic surgery or a buzzcut. Are you happy now?" You pause, squinting your eyes as you look him up and down before nodding. "Mhm..." You wrap your arms around him, hugging him tightly.

"You can let go now..." The faintest of pink dusts his fair complexion as he glances elsewhere. Scara hovers his hand over your head before patting your hair as an awkward attempt of comforting you.

"You're on your period, aren't you?"

You just nod against his sweatshirt, sniveling softly. Scara rolls his eyes, before he smirks slightly. "What would you do without me? C'mon," He gently wipes the tears from your cheeks with his thumb, mumbling, "You're ugly when you cry."

You huff, "Shut up." Scara chuckles, "Just for the time being. Let's go to my car, I'll bring you with me to buy you some things from the grocery store." At that, you smile in content and cling to Scara like a puppy to its owner as he leads you to the front door of the dorm.

Heizou sits up in his bed, complaining, "Hey, you better get me buldak noodles!" Scara snarls, "This is not an invitation for free things; Only my (s/o) gets that luxury." And he shuts the front door, bringing you along and leaving Heizou in a ticked off mood.

As Scara drives, he keeps one of his hands on the steering wheel and the other one on your lap as you look out the window. He lent you his favourite Artic Monkeys sweatshirt that he was wearing earlier to warm up your stomach and ease down the cramps. He subtly glances at you every so often.

Scara parks into the lot of the grocery store and unbuckles his seatbelt. Before you know it, he's already at your side, opening the car door for you. Shortly after, Scara's pushing the shopping cart, grabbing random snacks he knows you like and puts them in.

"You like this flavor, right?" Scara mumbles, holding a ice cream tub in his hands and inspecting it. You nod, smiling. As Scara places it in the cart and starts pushing it again, you giggle, "My boyfriend's so cute, I might as well cry again."

Scara hisses, "Not in public. I won't hesitate to act like I don't know you." You know he's joking, but you pout and give him pleading puppy eyes as he brings the cart towards the self checkout area. Scara grimaces before sighing as he starts scanning the items, "Whatever..."

You hum in satisfaction and enjoy the sweet warmth of his sweatshirt as he pays for the things and carries the bag, holding your hand with his free one as the both of you leave the store.

You both stay in the car instead of going back to the dorm, snacking on the food Scara bought for the two of you (mainly you) to enjoy together.

"Feeling any better?"

Mitski's new album plays on the car's speakers as you and him eat Pocky sticks. You nod with a smile, "Mhm. I can't thank you enough, cutie." You give him a quick, but meaningful, kiss on the cheek before continuing to chew on your Pocky stick.

Scara lets his Pocky stick rest in between his teeth as he looks at you for a few moments before asking, "Wanna do the Pocky challenge?" You perk up in surprise from his sudden proposal, but you'd never turn down a bold game like that.

You laugh, "Is this just an excuse to kiss me?"

Scara rolls his eyes, "Even if it was, would it matter?" He places his hand on your cheek and starts biting on his end of the stick. You bite the other end, and this process repeats until finally...

His soft lips gently press against yours, his hands on the back of your neck to close the distance completely.

Mitski's My Love Mine All Mine gets to the chorus at the most perfect timing possible.

You felt like the most loved and treasured person on Earth during this very moment as your (somewhat) sweet boyfriend kissed you in his car without a care in the world. Scara loves you so dearly, even if you cry over the littlest things during your period...

🐾🍫🍮 : © haerin1 (do not translate, steal or take too much inspo from my works)

[oatmealdoodles]

*Spoilers for HB Full Moon*

I don’t have my thoughts coherent enough to make a clear post so im just gonna ramble

GOD this episode was a trip. Was expecting it to all be Stolitz, and then it took a hard turn with the Cherubs and the FBI, and to be honest I couldn’t care less about them. It wasn’t bad by any mean, but I was disappointed to see over half the episode titled “Full Moon” was gonna be about something other than Stolitz

And then in the last FIVE MINUTES they pull out all the stops and give us this

VIV YOU WERE HOLDING OUT ON US

I love the way this episode did misunderstandings, which is something people usually hate, because you can SO EASILY see where everyone’s coming from, and they are both completely justified. Stolas only meant good, he wanted to break the toxic deal he had with Blitzo, and he was very thorough about it. But he took Blitzo’s first bad reaction as a sign that he didn't love him, instead of giving him time to think. And Blitzo’s first reaction to someone loving him and genuinely wanting the best for him to be that they’re faking it HURTS. His outburst seems irrational but when you take into consideration how much he’s been rejected, it almost makes sense that he would assume Stolas is getting rid of him, because he’s SO CONVINCED that no one could ever love him.

And I was expecting pain, but I was NOT expecting Stolas to be choking through his tears hurt by Blitz

THIS WAS A STEP TO FAR VIV I THOUHT WE WER FRENDS

I also LOVE how this episode establishes Stolas’s charachter growth. Going back to the first episode, Im sorry but these are NOT the same people

Before Stolas was cruel and dismissive of Blitzo, only wanting to sleep with him. But now he’s grown into someone who genuinely loves him, and is willing to give up their relationship if thats what would make Blitzo happy. And this was all super subtle, over the course of many confrontations. You almost don’t realize it’s happening, but it feels so natural. You can FEEL how much Stolas loves Blitzo in this scene, and genuinely wants the best for him.

Also How Blitzo looked so HAPPY to see Stolas, he went on a night out shopping for him and looked SO EXITED to finally see him. And just how DESPERATE he looks when Stolas is saying he wants the grimware back, literally crying and begging Stolas to reconsider. I dont think I need to say this but I dont think this is about the book. GOD I hurst that the first time we’ve seen Blitzo exited about seeing stolas AND IT END LIKE THIS.

There are also so many parallels with Blitzo and Stolas switching sides, Blitz now being the h0rny one and Stolas the one who truly cares. It’s a ‘how the tables have turned” that makes this episode all the more painful once you realize:

(thanks to @timkontheunsure and @miyakuli for pointing these out)

And BROOOO THE CHANDELEIR FROM WHEN THEY WERE KIDS IN THE FINAL SHOT I didnt even realize this at the beginning but whYYY?

edit: I LOVE people pointing out that Blitzo screaming at Stolas might have reminded him of his toxic relationship with Stella, which might be why he shut down and cried, because that’s what he did with her.

anyways I think that’s all I got so have some Fizzy to cheer you up

[vettelsdarling]

Could you please do a Charles x Schumacher!reader insta au? Where she’s a chef and they both do a soft launch. I don’t really have much of an idea but can you make it a bit long? Not like with text but just a lot of posts? I hope I’m requesting right lol

I really liked your Danny insta au

Crème De La Crème, Ma Chérie

Lissie note… I really like the idea of reader being a chef! Haven’t seen that before??? You’re giving me a lot of creative freedom and I could not be happier<3 Thanks for this!!!

Few things to note:

Reader is Mick’s twin sister, and Gina’s younger sister.

Reader is a Michelin star chef (one star)

Reader is famous (obviously)

This follows the 2022 season

Reader and Charles have been dating since the beginning of the 2021 season (1 year)

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Fem!Chef!Reader

Warnings: Some cursing, gut wrenching fluff

Here's the playlist recommendations

y/nschumacher

Liked by charles_leclerc, mickschumacher, gina_schumacher and 836,236 others

y/nschumacher Movie date and a home-cooked meal for him❤️

View all comments

mickschumacher You should invite us over for dinner soon… miss your cooking🙏

gina_schumacher Yes pleaseee!!

francisca.cgomes AHHH it looks SO GOOD😩 Where’s my share?🤨

user1 great dinner but WHO IS THAT🫣🫣🫣

user2 She’s allowed to date yk

user1 no need to be rude. I was just wondering who it was…

user3 It’s clearly a boyfriend that she doesn’t wanna reveal or something

user4 A SOFT LAUNCH???😭

user5 MOTHER NOOO😭😭😭😭

user6 Byebye… to my parasocial relationship…

user7 I haven’t seen her like this before and idk if I like it😭

user8 He never has to pay for dinner again💀💀💀

charles_leclerc

Liked by pierregasly, y/nschumacher and 1,184,339 others

charles_leclerc Tough weekend so far but we’ll improve for the next weekend.

View all comments

y/nschumacher Good luck next week!

user1 Somebody save him😭❤️

user2 y/n in the comments?

user3 She switched from Haas to Ferrari💀 Wonder what Mick has to say about that

user2 omg💀💀💀

user4 Seems suspicious…

user3 I mean, I don’t think so? She’s great friends with everyone on the track.

user5 Not Ferrari again😭😭😭 WHYYY

user6 Atp I don’t even wanna watch the races anymore😭 It’s just depression on a screen😭😭😭

user7 Ferrari is making him delusional💀 No way they’re ever gonna improve…

user8 I’m still hopeful😞🫶

user9 Tbh I’ve given up

y/nschumacher

Liked by mickschumacher, charles_leclerc and 735,229 others

y/nschumacher November dump🌅🍂 He tried to challenge my cooking. Bold move, sir… bold move.

View all comments

mickschumacher I doubt it tasted good😒

y/nschumacher It was actually really good

mickschumacher Biased.

y/nschumacher 🙄

carlossainz55 It was nice having you in the Ferrari garage for a change

Liked by y/nschumacher

gina_schumacher I miss you :/

y/nschumacher I’m coming to visit soon🫶

gina_schumacher You better

maxverstappen1 Red Bull > Ferrari

y/nschumacher No.

user1 since when did she become a Ferrari girl��

user2 wtaf is going on😭

user3 why are there so many drivers in her comments all of a sudden💀

user4 she’s soft launching. Mother is soft launching.

user5 Please leave him for me❤️

user6 No she’s leaving him for me😒

user7 Um no. She’s obviously leaving him for me🙄

user8 You’re all wrong. It’s always been me.

user9 Okay but whoever she’s dating is so lucky. Home-cooked Michelin meals? That’s literally living my dream.

user10 Ugh it’s so unfair. This guy should be ashamed he stole a national treasure

user11 I second that statement

user12 What’s with the new insta era😭 Pls post more food pics😔

wagsoff1

56,297 likes

wagsoff1 You heard it here first…

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user1 EXCUSE ME???? THIS WAS A YEAR AGO???

user2 wtaf this came out of nowhere…

user3 but where’s the proof😭

user4 It’s probably fake since there’s no proof

user5 I bet all the 13 yr olds and their parasocial relationships are disintegrating rn

user6 yeah um I won’t believe it until I see it💀

charles_leclerc

Liked by y/nschumacher and 855,970 others

charles_leclerc Drank some wine and went out for dinner for the first time in a long time😘

View all comments maxverstappen1 Wine and oysters, but you didn’t invite me…

charles_leclerc Sorry mate. Next time!

pierregasly Thanks for the date idea mate

Liked by charles_leclerc

user1 ig @ wagsoff1 was right

user2 Why am I crying

user3 This is genuinely so cute🤍

user4 His gf is so lucky

user5 WHO IS ITTTT

user6 Honestly, we should just look out for her at the paddock.

user7 We gotta wait for the next season for that…

user6 I forgot😭 I don’t want to wait so long ughhh

user8 Well, there goes my husband.

user9 Does anyone know who it is?

user10 I have an idea it’s someone we all know…

user9 Who?

user10 Dms

francisca.cgomes

Liked by y/nschumacher and 84,293 others

Tagged: y/nschumacher

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francisca.cgomes Girls night🥂🪩

y/nschumacher Same time next week?

francisca.cgomes Obviously🤍

pierregasly You cancelled date night for this?

francisca.cgomes It’s. Girls. Night.

pierregasly Understandable, have a nice day.

user1 IN LOVE WITH THIS FRIENDSHIP

user2 Me and my bestie when exam season is over:

user3 Literally

user4 Since when did they start hanging out🫣

user5 They’ve been friends for a long time, actually💀

user4 Oh okay I didn’t know😭

user5 Two pretty best friends🫶

y/nschumacher

Liked by charles_leclerc, gina_schumacher, mickschumacher and 763,298 others

Tagged: gina_schumacher

y/nschumacher I should stick to cooking… fell off so many times. How do you do it???

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gina_schumacher You’ll get there with practice!

y/nschumacher If I mount another horse, I will die.

charles_leclerc I’m sure you did great❤️

y/nschumacher I didn’t, but thank you❤️

mickschumacher Watching you fall was great entertainment

y/nschumacher At least I didn’t refuse to get on the horse😒

user1 WHAT WHAT WHATTTTT CHARLES??? THE HEARTS????

user2 wtaf this is insane😭

user3 is this their idea of a soft launch wtf😭

user4 they really just act as if it’s known💀💀

user 3 Literally💀

user5 so basically, Charles and Y/n?

user6 That explains why Charles wrote that one caption

user5 what caption?

user6 The one where he said he hadn’t been out for dinner in a long time

user5 whaaaat you’re right

user7 How did we not see this coming…

user8 I mean, they might not be dating? They could just be close friends…

user9 Nah, there’s no way

user8 You don’t know that

charles_leclerc

Liked by y/nschumacher, pierregasly, maxverstappen1 and 1,173,994 others

charles_leclerc She took me wine shopping…

View all comments y/nschumacher She looks like she knows what she’s doing

charles_leclerc I hope she knows..?

maxverstappen1 Mate, she’s a keeper.

charles_leclerc I know

user1 Charles pls😭 We all know that’s Y/n

user2 I’ve been living under a rock. What’s going on???

user3 Y/n Schumacher is a Michelin chef (and also Mick’s sister). Basically there are rumours that Charles is dating her. They haven’t confirmed it, but it’s pretty obvious by their soft launch…

user2 I was gone for a few months from social media and this is what I come back to?😭

user4 Charles has taste

user5 She’s literally a goddess

user6 Ugh he’s so lucky but she’s also lucky… idk who I want to be. Both???

user7 relatable.

charles_leclerc and y/nschumacher

Liked by mickschumacher, y/nschumacher, maxverstappen1 and 1,482,663 others

charles_leclerc I don’t even know where to begin. I’ve had so much fun with you this past year. Happy 2 years anniversary❤️ Tu es créme de la créme, ma chérie❤️

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y/nschumacher Mein Süßer❤️

Liked by charles_leclerc

mickschumacher Congrats guys!

francisca.cgomes This is so cute😭❤️

gina_schumacher So happy for you guys🤍

maxverstappen1 Congrats!

pierregasly When’s the wedding?

francisca.cgomes Don’t push them like that

pierregasly Sorry.

francisca.cgomes No, I actually also want to know @ y/nschumacher🤨

y/nschumacher Wedding??! Too early… but maybe we’ll start talking over a steak dinner…

𝗥𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗻...

𝘾𝙝𝙚𝙘𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙜𝙪𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚!

𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙚’𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

©vettelsdarling

𝗣𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗱𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗱𝗮𝗽𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗶𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝘄𝗮𝘆, 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗲, 𝗼𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺— 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼��.

[sil-te-plait-tue-moi]

Got shocked.

Quick summary: Before he knows why, Rust is fixating on you.

Warnings: Not much except it does get literally sick here kind of; sexism and really gross remarks; kind of workplace harassment; Rust being unsettling.

Word count: 3.6K

A/N: Erm this is not the second part to the Idler Wheel but I just thought I’d write this because whyyy not! It was kind of written quickly so if there are weird grammar mistakes just ignore them lmao 😭😭 might come back and edit when it’s not past midnight if you know what im saying. Anyhoo it’s September now?

***

The brain-rotting contents of his colleagues’ pass-time conversations was an unfortunate byproduct of Rust’s refusal to pay mind to his own thoughts. He needed it, he thought sometimes, though he’d rather not have had need for anything: it served as a focal point for his attentions, which, otherwise, might be directed inward at himself for too long.

He didn’t pay much attention to the exacts of it all. Bar last night, dick jokes, some wild sexual exploit from their twenties: once Rust had heard it once, he did not need to hear it again. Even before they spoke, Rust had had most of them figured out. He only had to watch them, his first day at the office. Still, initially, he let them tell their shit to him and believe like maybe they could be friends, like, maybe, Rust was one of them, too, that he was entertained by their boring fucking carousel of stories. Fucking arrogant. Plagued by the crack and froth of some dry ash-type taste, Rust would swallow it down. Just the first time, though. Not the second, and not any time after that.

No, he did not care for the details. More like, it was the tone of their voices that he could plaster his resentment on. Proud, girthy, spread over too much ground, self-important. For the most part, if he had to talk to one of them, more dogs than anything else, his throat would feel too full—his mouth, too. It was what it was: force-feeding. Why anyone in their right mind would pretend to enjoy it, Rust had no idea. Everything down here displeased him, but no less so than it had in other places. Everywhere he went, Rust came with himself, though he’d tried to sever that unwelcome tie a long time ago. If he was lucky enough, some floating sensation would find him, and Rust would get to leave the conversation for some worthy train of thought. Finally, he would get to pry apart a crime scene - in his head, he did not have to use gloves: he could play it like a tape, a thousand times, a thousand different ways.

Hear them now. Rust’s lip begged to curl, which was odd. It was then, coming to terms with the sensation of his instinct, its physical demands, that he understood that something was strange about this conversation.

Slow, crawling, his eyes made their way to Marty, who had scooted his chair over to Rust’s desk. With steely eyes, he took note of how his partner’s elbow was flopped over his paperwork, how his body was sprawled open wide so unnecessarily.

Rust removed a pen wedged under Marty’s forearm. He didn’t even shift.

With the aim of cleansing his mouth of that bitter swell, he took a mouthful of cold coffee, and another, and another. When he was alone, Rust took one sugar, but, here, it wasn’t enough. Shit, it was never enough to neutralise that foul taste. Sometimes, it grew so strong that Rust would take a little longer on his smoke breaks, making his way through one, two, maybe three cigarettes. Yeah, that usually quenched it. But it was no use inside - no, he needed an open sky above him, to let all the fumes out, like smoke from a smouldering kitchen. Something about four walls and a ceiling: how many men like them had sat there, sweat there, jawed there, pissed there, before them? It just made him sick, made his head spin.

There was no need to turn to know how the rest of them were arranged. So predictable. So deeply interwoven into their psyches: the strong belief that they deserved the space that they took up, and, shit, they took up a lot. Fighting for dominance of the conversation, pushing, shoving, overlapping, each trying to mark out a platform for themselves. He wouldn’t, and it unsettled them, just as they could never comprehend anything else that wasn’t like them.

Gradual-like, Rust let his mind melt back to the specifics of the conversation, the messy, brutal abstraction of their voices condensing into words and phrases, like ink-blots soaking back up into the brushes from which they were dispelled. It didn’t take long listening for him to understand that you had drawn the interest of the hoard.

Johansson would’ve said something—if he were here. The more Rust listened—to them inching closer to what they really wanted to say, hopping around the hot topic of women and their ways on them—the fatter his tongue felt, sitting big and swollen in his mouth like it shouldn’t have been there, like he ought to have cut it out by now.

With his spectre hands, he reached into his pocket, slipped a cigarette between his lips, lit it with one flick of his lighter. That click was enough to make his mouth water, most days, although not now. Breath scraped painfully through his throat, like sandpaper.

You were distinct from them - that was a fact. When he’d been thrown into the department, he found it odd that more remarks weren’t made to your face about most things: your capability, your temperament, your looks. More often, it’d be behind your back, huddled over in the office kitchen, passed around like a note in a fuckin’ middle school classroom. He figured it was because you were smarter than them, and they knew it. At least you were only a woman, they told themselves. They couldn’t beat you up, but they could do whatever they wanted to you in their heads. They could talk about how they’d pin you down if they ever got the chance.

That last comment only happened once. At least, only once when Rust was around. He’d ended up in the captain’s office, his fingers still twitching with the way that that pulse had begged and struggled for release.

His body ached with the effort to keep himself from shaking - the tremor in his fingers would not be eased by the deep, punishing drag of smoke into his lungs, nor would the dirt clouding his brain be cleansed and sanitised by the sting, the burn of the breath he held close to him, until it hurt his chest. No, he needed the sky—but he didn’t want to leave you either.

Rust’s head swung under a bout of nausea, which hit him like the impact of falling in a dream. Briefly, he closed his eyes, taking another drag, swallowing down the husk of it. It only made it all worse.

Punch him, he thought desperately, like maybe you could be telepathic, like maybe he was as well. Who?—he didn’t know. Any of them, all of them. It was all the same.

When Marty let out a bellow of a laugh, full and selfish and fucking stupid, Rust had to look at the photograph of the dead girl in front of him again to steady himself.

Delusion did not seduce Rust. Relying on what he knew to be true, he figured that you must’ve known what you were doing. You had worn your hair down today, not in a bun as was your usual - it hadn’t taken long for Bishop, this morning, to tug on a strand of your hair, like it was just waiting to be done, like bait on a hook. If he hadn’t done it, someone else would’ve. He was inclined to simply because you dared to exist in his presence. Even then, Rust’s throat had tightened, like this. So, even though his back was defiantly turned to the hoard, Rust knew—he knew—that, when you grunted softly, it was because it had happened again. Rust closed his eyes and willed that you would hit whoever did that.

People already knew the decision they were going to make, always, in some part of their minds, so Rust didn’t see the point in attempting to console or consult anyone about anything. If it was detrimental to a case, then he would explain this to Marty, calmly point out or even correct his mistake, but, on the most part, that was the extent of his reasoning. If his partner was in a bar, flushed and loose, and flirting with the twenty-one year-old bar-keep, he wouldn’t intervene. He hadn’t. Marty dug his own grave, and Rust let him. To do otherwise would be to overestimate the sensibilities of the other and to inconvenience himself. Fuck that. People didn’t want to be changed and Rust certainly had no interest in trying to. It was a losing game, a dumb one at that. Waste of time, waste of space. Rust knew better than to take up space - he would keep what he could close to his chest; otherwise, it was dead weight that needed losing sooner rather than later.

Everyone was begging to tell, to be fucking heard. It was a naïve, selfish way to look at the world: to assume that every other human put on Earth was someone to unload onto, to purify yourself with. Rust stared hard at the twenty-four year-old woman in the photo, sprawled over her bed, that long gash down her belly, like gutting a pig. He thought of how satisfied that the killer must’ve felt, to be able to finally share his urges with someone, to get to sit, placated, with their shoulders finally light.

He looked over the coroner’s report again, despite already knowing every statement on there, trying to fill your silence—which scratched over his eyes, the front of his brain, like claws—with the lull, the truth, of the case.

They were talking to you, now.

“Let’s get you down to the bar, buck,” somebody said to you, and he was pretty sure it was Geraci, oily, slick, fat. The skin over the back of Rust’s neck, thin, had crawled.

The boys liked to call you that—buck—like you hadn’t run the same track as them, jumped the same hurdles as them. You’d transferred from Brooklyn. Same shitshow, different department. They could tell, some of them said. City girl, high up on her horse. Not really, though. Your nature threw some people off at first, he speculated - you were not cold or brash, which he sort of thought maybe you ought to be, but, somehow, decidedly kind. Not gentle. There was a difference.

You were smart, and this was why you were not choking Geraci out right now. Did you want to? Rust could not get it out of his mind. He wanted to turn and look at you—not now, just some time—and figure it out. He had an outline, like the edge pieces of a puzzle all joined up. That was always a good start. Still, he didn’t appreciate it: the effort. It made you interesting, which was inconvenient. The people who worked here were not difficult to understand - their innermost desires were eager to be released, Pandora’s box, bursting at the very seams of their mouths, and, shit, Rust let it happen. It played out that way most times with the monsters he sat across from in the box: he would listen unflinchingly, and that was attractive to a lot of people, apparently. Someone who would not shy away. Maybe that was where Rust was misstepping with you. It wasn’t like him to be glad for things, but he was when it came to the orientation of your desks: your back was to his, and he did not have to look at you, and he was glad for it. He could not pin down why.

His knuckles were glowing, he was sure of it: if he looked down at them, Rust could’ve seen that illumination, his violence emanating from within, daring to break the skin like splitting, old leather. He could smell the embers already. Maybe that was you, though, or something else.

The heat bubbled up through his nausea. No, it was him - he would be up in flames soon, some sight to behold. His eyes pulsed against the thin skin of his eyelids, so he ruled out the option of closing them.

He flexed his hands slowly, passing feeling all along his weary tendons, before he continued typing, though the letters spun and jumped out at him like bugs in long-grass. Crickets in his ears, deafening. Was almost like he could understand them, some language he knew to respond to as a child, now long left behind. He was not alone, as much as he wanted to be.

When you spoke, Rust’s shoulders tensed, like a cramp. “I got business tonight,” you drawled, ever-polite, even sweet. That raw, thick, sugary taste oozed over his tongue, clogged his throat - Rust almost gagged.

Bishop’s voice emerged from the clatter: “What business you got on a Friday night? You got better plans?”

Fuck if you did, fuck if you didn’t.

A shrill whine speared through Rust’s head then, like a fissure in the Earth’s crust, his brain a liquid, churning beneath. He fought the urge to touch his own face, make sure everything was in its right place. He knew it would be, so he didn’t move. Sensation did not indicate reality. If it did, then Rust would have had to have discovered a whole other world a long time ago. He sat still, a statue, for several heartbeats. Then, he resumed his typing. A suspect’s alibi. He did not kill her.

“You don’t gotta spend a dime with us. We’ll take care of ye,” Howard added, and the hoard hummed and chuckled their agreement, a sick tilt to all of it. Rust wished his desk were anywhere else - he rarely wished for anything.

Conviction was not an area in which you lacked. You were a quiet, formidable force. Nobody at the precinct admired the way you worked the way it ought to have been. Not enough people gave enough fucks when you conducted interviews. Once, he had seen it. He had wanted to find Marty, and Marty was with Johansson, and Johansson had been on one side of the mirror, the other side behind which you were smiling warmly at a woman who had not long ago eaten about two thirds of her boyfriend, holding her hand. She had been twice your age at least, but you were the two-headed mother there, walking that fine line. For a moment, Rust had thought to himself that you would’ve worked him, wrung him out, if he was the one across from you. Not just a thought: a realisation. It unsettled him whenever he thought about it too long. What had confused him was your distinct lack of calculation. At least, he perceived it that way. Was it instinct that let you master that certain slope of your shoulders? No amount of practice could let him fabricate it to the same standard. Or maybe you had really felt it: sympathy.

But no. Once it was done, you’d exited, and your attention was searing. Rust had left before you had time to notice him.

Stoicism: you had mastered it, and Rust itched to know you, to understand how. How was the vein in your neck not throbbing like it would burst? How were your hands not fists, white-knuckled?

And you spoke through a smile, of all things: “That’s nice, but I can’t.”

“C’mon, buck, what kinda business you got that’s so important?”

Once again, Rust scoured over the coroner’s report, flit between the list of observable marks and wounds, correlating them with the visual aid of the photograph of the entire corpse. Total ten lacerations, eight of which had been on her stomach. Other two, on her face: slicing into each of her cheeks, those soft parts.

If he did this, Rust did not have to read into your answer, which was what his mind immediately raced towards, a bullet train, blindly searching in the darkness for some semblance of you. “My own,” you replied, and it did not mean anything to him because he was doing this.

Rust body itched to leap up and lay someone out, right then and there. His fist yearned for it, for the contact. For however often Rust felt like his body was not his, he had rarely considered the possibility that it might be in charge. People did what they would with him - his job was merely to take it. There was a strange sort of peace in that type of compartmentalisation, the kind where he could simply leave what apparently made up his person. If he was away from himself, he wouldn’t have to face whatever he was doing. An education in the dissociative state, an underutilised tool. He’d even had a course on it, he was sure. It was part of the reason he could keep his pulse so low, retreating so far into this meat shell that not even his blood flowed too close to the surface. But he felt it now, thrumming in his neck, a riptide. Taking his pulse now would do nothing to save it. The muscles there were stiff, flexing oddly under the strain of choking back on the natural instinct that, it appeared, was his. It tasted like vomit. Maybe that was real, though.

You were not some lamb that needed a shepherd. Fuck, he could never be one, not any version of him: he’d only be leading a thing to rot and ruin, and the parasite would get them, too. No, Rust wasn’t the shepherd. Never the shepherd. Rust was critical and cold. He might’ve been the wolf.

Ten lacerations. Raped.

The laughter of the hoard circled his head again, again, again. Someone must’ve picked at your hair - you grunted.

Abruptly, Rust stood up, like he got shocked because the room was on two different circuits. His spine like some iron rod, so unnaturally straight, his body so unnaturally tense, so unlike himself, he momentarily drew the attention of the other detectives all clustered together in the bullpen. If he didn’t know better, he’d have thought they knew, that he was fighting for the wheel, that he was battling back the grey that had begun to vignette his vision. Why was he suddenly so tall? Not even that. Alive. He could hear it: life rushing, roaring, in his ears, crackling like a wildfire. Rust’s body, that strange entity, was momentarily reborn as something else, whose neck was never bowed, whose shoulders never rounded, who conducted itself like it was powerful. Maybe it was.

Marty eyed him like he had grown another fuckin’ head.

Despite the dissipating attention, murmurs to the side, you were still looking at him, too, with your eyes so hard, almost black, like two cherry pits. Rust was piloting, and he would not look away. No. He would look on, as he always did. No matter the electricity burn of your attention, which he preferred to avoid - the energy was coursing through him, bright, his veins fried and blackening. Beneath the surface, his being spasmed and seized. But he knew that you were no different than anything, so he looked.

If he didn’t, he would hit someone. That could be taken the wrong way.

Geraci’s hand was braced on your desk, just next to you, his fat, greasy palm covering some paragraph that you had no doubt been trying to read. Rust’s hands twitched, but he had managed to bring himself inward, had relaxed most of his body thus far, and he would not fuck himself over by letting fists form now.

So, Rust stared at you, cool, unrelenting.

He was surprised by the distance of his own voice when he asked you if you could come over to the files room just a minute and give your opinion on something for him. It was like his own mouth was at the end of a long, stretching tunnel, his words far away from him. He crushed his cigarette into the closest ashtray, annihilating it.

He tasted pennies there, in his mouth. Perhaps he had been biting his tongue. Perhaps it was just the look on your face.

Okay, you said, quiet-like, before you rose, prying yourself away from your desk. As you stepped past him, Rust let himself look at Geraci. People dug their own graves, but that did not cancel out Rust’s thirst to kill. That kind of justice lies in the bones.

Most likely, he just needed to sleep. It was coming up on four days, nearly, without, which did not aid in the dizziness that threatened the stability of Rust’s every step as he slowly turned to follow behind you.

In the files room, you were waiting for him, staring up at the flickering halogen bulb that illuminated this section, the chain still swinging from when you had just pulled it.

Rust stared at your back, far away from himself, almost stumbling back when he closed the door, sealing the two of you off from the real world. His anger flung about like a whirlpool behind his eyes, thrashing and throbbing. If he had mind to say something to you—which he did not—he wouldn’t have been able to anyways. Saliva pooled in his mouth, pushing under his tongue. He cleared his throat, delaying a gag.

When you began to turn to look at him, Rust almost begged out loud that you wouldn’t, his heartbeat thrumming in his throat, almost daring him to start panting for air like a dog. The assault of the light from the halogen bulb was invisible to you, so it could not be real. No, you were looking at him now. With his hand still gripping the handle like it could save him, like he could escape it, you, he almost closed his eyes, cringed away. But what was he?—some child? He could not. Sensation was not necessarily reality, and he was not sick, and you were not of concern to him. Still, he turned slightly, his body angled toward the door at which he still stood, refusing to step any closer. He couldn’t close his eyes—you could get the wrong idea—so, instead, he opted for the linoleum floor, careful to avoid your feet.

Fuck, he could feel your relief washing over him like a warm wave. It almost knocked him clear off his feet, and it left his knees weak, threatening to buckle. Once, he had gone out west, to the coast, with Sophia and Claire. Nothing like where he grew up: out there, in that endless cold, his pa used to warn against any and all large bodies of water, ice. Even when you thought the surface beneath you was safe, it could give out, and you’d fall through into waters you didn’t know could be so deep.

Rust had reason enough to believe that this might’ve been worse.

There was salt spray in his mouth, now. Your ebb and flow churned in his stomach like the beat of a drum, reverberating through his flesh, which he was suddenly very aware of.

You’d figured it out: he didn’t need your help. He didn’t need to be in here either.

Something tangible rolled around on his tongue as your eyes scanned over him, a meticulous, slow rake. It grit between his teeth, like a grain of sand or a seed or something. Rust swallowed it and then fought a proceeding dry heave, smothered by a bright feeling in his throat that only flared up when he heard your breath hitch, too.

You were polite to spare him, to stare at your hands. Wordless, you left him to go busy yourself with nothing in the back of the files room, melting into the shadows, concealing yourself behind a shelving unit.

Even though he couldn’t see you, though, your sweetness still flooded Rust’s mouth, inescapable. He knew you were there, thinking, maybe about him.

He almost wished he had done nothing.

[inoreuct]

horse girl zoro/prince sanji au that @redgitanako and i talked about way back when because it suddenly crossed my mind OKAY HERE WE GO

zoro’s a travelling bounty hunter with three horses. yes, three. don’t tell kitetsu and enma but wado’s his favourite

wado was kuina’s horse; when kuina died she was so sad because she didn’t get why kuina was gone and for a while zoro had to emotionally support a horse AND himself, but horses are smart creatures. wado understood by herself after a while. they don’t really talk about it.

on that note, zoro talks to his horses. people look at him like he’s a few crayons short of the whole pack but they don’t say anything because he looks scary as hell; built like a brick wall, one eye gone, gnarly scar across his chest and all

(they’ll never know that he’s having an argument with enma about buying supplies where one party is contributing in possibly-misinterpreted horse looks. the crayons aren’t missing— but it’s admittedly a little hard to prove they’re there, zoro, we can’t keep defending you like this)

sanji's the third prince of the kingdom that hires him; sora’s the queen, and his siblings are all decent other than regular sibling assholery. judge is on the run and they’ve made the collective decision that they want his head on a stick.

zoro expects sanji to be a stuck-up priss because he LOOKS like a stuck-up priss— look at his perfect hair. his clothes. his heeled boots and his stupid curly eyebrows

but NO. well, yes, sanji IS a little bit of a stuck-up priss but also, he’s good with horses?? wado takes to him like a DREAM and zoro's flabbergasted because anybody who has ever tried to coddle her other than zoro or kuina has gotten kicked in the head, but sanji's petting at her neck and cooing at her in baby-talk and she's licking sugar cubes and apple slices out of his palm. zoro feels so betrayed.

like of COURSE his horse had to take a liking to the boy he hates OF ALL PEOPLE.

(zoro. at this moment the horse is smarter than you. listen to her.)

reiju’s the princess here, but sanji’s the one who got all the magic-esque affinities. animals LOVE him. he would be a literal disney princess if not for the fact that he doesn’t love them back

like SQUIRREL. WHY ARE YOU SHITTING ALL OVER MY YARD. GO AWAY. WHY IS A DOG TRYING TO LICK MY HAIR. WHYYY IS THIS BIRD BRINGING ME STICKS ALL THE TIME. he’s trying to fall asleep. he hears a TSKTSKTSKTSKTSKTSKTSK. he sits up and gets right out of bed and starts yelling at the lizard on the ceiling.

he does have a pretty mare called maple, though! (and zoro can’t help but love her too; it’s a sign that the mosshead doesn’t clock until much, much later)

and then zoro comes into his life with his three horses and sanji yanks him in by the collar like "listen up, swordsman. i do not CARE how sweet your horses are. i do not CARE how— how— WHATEVER you are. if you stink up my stable i will make you sleep in it, are we clear?" and zoro just nods because he’s having a bit of a gay crisis

sanji is 1. pretty 2. entirely able to hold his own and 3. Wado Approved™ and zoro does NOT know how to deal. at all. he’s holding onto wado’s reins for dear life. he wonders if the same ultimatum would apply if he swapped out the word stable for bed and immediately wants to dunk himself into the horse trough.

meanwhile sanji isn’t spared at all. sora sits on her throne, one eyebrow raised as her son goes on and on about how "mother i hate the swordsman you hired. he's green. and ugly. like a troll. like an OGRE. his hands are too big. his boots are too shiny. his earrings are cute but only because i want them. his EVERYTHING smells like horse. he might as well be a horse with how strong he is, did you know how many hay bales he carried at once??" and she’s just like,,, "honey are you sure this is hate"

she certainly wouldn’t mind them being together. zoro is rough around the edges and does smell a bit like horse, admittedly, but he was clearly raised right— he’s respectful in his own gruff way and he does things with immense care. sora’s noticed. she knows her son well enough to know that he’s noticed, too.

one day sanji bumps into zoro on his way out of the baths and wow. okay. so he doesn’t smell like horse ALL the time and oh his hair is damp and there's a towel around his waist and he is very, very shirtless and sanji turns around in a panic and walks face-first into a pillar.

he watches zoro care for his horses, carefully brushing through their manes and coats as he speaks to them softly, and alright. maybe this guy isn’t all bad. animals, sanji has noticed, are brilliant judges of character; horses especially can be testy and temperamental, and they don’t hesitate to kick anybody they don’t like.

zoro’s horses love him, and it’s obvious. maple looks forward to the snacks he slips her when he thinks that nobody’s looking. that says a lot more about his character than anything else.

after a few days zoro has a solid plan down and sets out to find judge, and suddenly the stables are empty. sanji finds himself going out with maple more and more, exploring the woods around their forest to pass the time because he needs something to keep his mind occupied and there’s only so much he can cook. judge might be a piece of shit, but he’s also an evil genius, and sanji refuses to admit he’s worried even though he is.

and then zoro comes back with judge’s war helmet wrapped in a cloth, gore dripping off the bottom edge as he sets it at sora’s feet.

he’s a little banged up, tired as hell with a couple of scratches here and there— nothing serious, but sanji still drags him to the infirmary and cleans him up perhaps a little more emotionally than either of them had expected

he passes out for a good few days afterwards but sora invites him to stay for a little longer, a time frame that nobody specifies. zoro just kind of… doesn’t leave. it’s strange for him; he’s wandered, always. he gets antsy staying in one place for too long, but this blond prince that is strangely kind and gives back as good as he gets is really something else.

the days pass. they race and bicker and soon enough, all three of zoro’s horses have brass name plaques tacked above what are now their stalls. he had a room in the palace and a place at the dinner table. sanji’s hair has grown long, now, and neither of them talk about the way that zoro’s stay has become something that feels more permanent—

until zoro finally finds the balls to give sanji one of his earrings as a courting gift. it’s the first one of many, but at that moment sanji just looks at it wide-eyed and zoro starts to shrink back all like "if you. don't want it that's alright. i'll get you something new, something else—" because look, he knows he’s not much. he has money, but not enough to give sanji something really nice. not enough to get something that’s more impressive than all the jewels and gold that the prince could have at a whim. he’s a bounty hunter that came from dirt and this earring is the most precious thing he has to offer, but he understands if—

sanji kisses him. yells something borderline incoherent along the lines of about fucking time as he shakes zoro by the shoulders, but he’s smiling very brightly and he’s very beautiful and zoro has a feeling they're going to be just fine.

(sora and the siblings breathe a collective sigh of relief, because the pining looks and dejected sighing were really getting a little ridiculous.)

(they speak too soon. after they get together it somehow gets WORSE.)

this was a ride… (get it. get it.) okay i’ll stop HOPE YOU ENJOYED HEH i know a lot of places are having a flu season/covid wave going around rn so make sure to hydrate and eat well!! muaks 😽