#WP Core

[aestreaburningsvn]

if I told you I was writing a marauders fanfic about a money heist and theater with heavy angst, major character death, slow burn, pining and whatnot… would you read it? for research purposes ofc..

[siya-sayani]

Tumblr ❌

Dusra whatsapp ✔️

[gordiicore]

Make yourself into a league of legends champion with this TT filter

[tinystepsforward]

autocrattic (more matt shenanigans, not tumblr this time)

I am almost definitely not the right person for this writeup, but I'm closer than most people on here, so here goes! This is all open-source tech drama, and I take my time laying out the context, but the short version is: Matt tried to extort another company, who immediately posted receipts, and now he's refusing to log off again. The long version is... long.

If you don't need software context, scroll down/find the "ok tony that's enough. tell me what's actually happening" heading, or just go read the pink sections. Or look at this PDF.

the background

So. Matt's original Good Idea was starting WordPress with fellow developer Mike Little in 2003, which is free and open-source software (FOSS) that was originally just for blogging, but now powers lots of websites that do other things. In particular, Automattic acquired WooCommerce a long time ago, which is free online store software you can run on WordPress.

FOSS is... interesting. It's a world that ultimately is powered by people who believe deeply that information and resources should be free, but often have massive blind spots (for example, Wikipedia's consistently had issues with bias, since no amount of "anyone can edit" will overcome systemic bias in terms of who has time to edit or is not going to be driven away by the existing contributor culture). As with anything else that people spend thousands of hours doing online, there's drama. As with anything else that's technically free but can be monetized, there are:

Heaps of companies and solo developers who profit off WordPress themes, plugins, hosting, and other services;

Conflicts between volunteer contributors and for-profit contributors;

Annoying founders who get way too much credit for everything the project has become.

the WordPress ecosystem

A project as heavily used as WordPress (some double-digit percentage of the Internet uses WP. I refuse to believe it's the 43% that Matt claims it is, but it's a pretty large chunk) can't survive just on the spare hours of volunteers, especially in an increasingly monetised world where its users demand functional software, are less and less tech or FOSS literate, and its contributors have no fucking time to build things for that userbase.

Matt runs Automattic, which is a privately-traded, for-profit company. The free software is run by the WordPress Foundation, which is technically completely separate (wordpress.org). The main products Automattic offers are WordPress-related: WordPress.com, a host which was designed to be beginner-friendly; Jetpack, a suite of plugins which extend WordPress in a whole bunch of ways that may or may not make sense as one big product; WooCommerce, which I've already mentioned. There's also WordPress VIP, which is the fancy bespoke five-digit-plus option for enterprise customers. And there's Tumblr, if Matt ever succeeds in putting it on WordPress. (Every Tumblr or WordPress dev I know thinks that's fucking ridiculous and impossible. Automattic's hiring for it anyway.)

Automattic devotes a chunk of its employees toward developing Core, which is what people in the WordPress space call WordPress.org, the free software. This is part of an initiative called Five for the Future — 5% of your company's profits off WordPress should go back into making the project better. Many other companies don't do this.

There are lots of other companies in the space. GoDaddy, for example, barely gives back in any way (and also sucks). WP Engine is the company this drama is about. They don't really contribute to Core. They offer relatively expensive WordPress hosting, as well as providing a series of other WordPress-related products like LocalWP (local site development software), Advanced Custom Fields (the easiest way to set up advanced taxonomies and other fields when making new types of posts. If you don't know what this means don't worry about it), etc.

Anyway. Lots of strong personalities. Lots of for-profit companies. Lots of them getting invested in, or bought by, private equity firms.

Matt being Matt, tech being tech

As was said repeatedly when Matt was flipping out about Tumblr, all of the stuff happening at Automattic is pretty normal tech company behaviour. Shit gets worse. People get less for their money. WordPress.com used to be a really good place for people starting out with a website who didn't need "real" WordPress — for $48 a year on the Personal plan, you had really limited features (no plugins or other customisable extensions), but you had a simple website with good SEO that was pretty secure, relatively easy to use, and 24-hour access to Happiness Engineers (HEs for short. Bad job title. This was my job) who could walk you through everything no matter how bad at tech you were. Then Personal plan users got moved from chat to emails only. Emails started being responded to by contractors who didn't know as much as HEs did and certainly didn't get paid half as well. Then came AI, and the mandate for HEs to try to upsell everyone things they didn't necessarily need. (This is the point at which I quit.)

But as was said then as well, most tech CEOs don't publicly get into this kind of shitfight with their users. They're horrid tyrants, but they don't do it this publicly.

ok tony that's enough. tell me what's actually happening

WordCamp US, one of the biggest WordPress industry events of the year, is the backdrop for all this. It just finished.

There are.... a lot of posts by Matt across multiple platforms because, as always, he can't log off. But here's the broad strokes.

Sep 17

Matt publishes a wanky blog post about companies that profit off open source without giving back. It targets a specific company, WP Engine.

Compare the Five For the Future pages from Automattic and WP Engine, two companies that are roughly the same size with revenue in the ballpark of half a billion. These pledges are just a proxy and aren’t perfectly accurate, but as I write this, Automattic has 3,786 hours per week (not even counting me!), and WP Engine has 47 hours. WP Engine has good people, some of whom are listed on that page, but the company is controlled by Silver Lake, a private equity firm with $102 billion in assets under management. Silver Lake doesn’t give a dang about your Open Source ideals. It just wants a return on capital. So it’s at this point that I ask everyone in the WordPress community to vote with your wallet. Who are you giving your money to? Someone who’s going to nourish the ecosystem, or someone who’s going to frack every bit of value out of it until it withers?

(It's worth noting here that Automattic is funded in part by BlackRock, who Wikipedia calls "the world's largest asset manager".)

Sep 20 (WCUS final day)

WP Engine puts out a blog post detailing their contributions to WordPress.

Matt devotes his keynote/closing speech to slamming WP Engine.

He also implies people inside WP Engine are sending him information.

For the people sending me stuff from inside companies, please do not do it on your work device. Use a personal phone, Signal with disappearing messages, etc. I have a bunch of journalists happy to connect you with as well. #wcus — Twitter I know private equity and investors can be brutal (read the book Barbarians at the Gate). Please let me know if any employee faces firing or retaliation for speaking up about their company's participation (or lack thereof) in WordPress. We'll make sure it's a big public deal and that you get support. — Tumblr

Matt also puts out an offer live at WordCamp US:

“If anyone of you gets in trouble for speaking up in favor of WordPress and/or open source, reach out to me. I’ll do my best to help you find a new job.” — source tweet, RTed by Matt

He also puts up a poll asking the community if WP Engine should be allowed back at WordCamps.

Sep 21

Matt writes a blog post on the WordPress.org blog (the official project blog!): WP Engine is not WordPress.

He opens this blog post by claiming his mom was confused and thought WP Engine was official.

The blog post goes on about how WP Engine disabled post revisions (which is a pretty normal thing to do when you need to free up some resources), therefore being not "real" WordPress. (As I said earlier, WordPress.com disables most features for Personal and Premium plans. Or whatever those plans are called, they've been renamed like 12 times in the last few years. But that's a different complaint.)

Sep 22: More bullshit on Twitter. Matt makes a Reddit post on r/Wordpress about WP Engine that promptly gets deleted. Writeups start to come out:

Search Engine Journal: WordPress Co-Founder Mullenweg Sparks Backlash

TechCrunch: Matt Mullenweg calls WP Engine a ‘cancer to WordPress’ and urges community to switch providers

Sep 23 onward

Okay, time zones mean I can't effectively sequence the rest of this.

Matt defends himself on Reddit, casually mentioning that WP Engine is now suing him.

Also here's a decent writeup from someone involved with the community that may be of interest.

WP Engine drops the full PDF of their cease and desist, which includes screenshots of Matt apparently threatening them via text.

Twitter link | Direct PDF link

This PDF includes some truly fucked texts where Matt appears to be trying to get WP Engine to pay him money unless they want him to tell his audience at WCUS that they're evil.

Matt, after saying he's been sued and can't talk about it, hosts a Twitter Space and talks about it for a couple hours.

He also continues to post on Reddit, Twitter, and on the Core contributor Slack.

Here's a comment where he says WP Engine could have avoided this by paying Automattic 8% of their revenue.

Another, 20 hours ago, where he says he's being downvoted by "trolls, probably WPE employees"

At some point, Matt updates the WordPress Foundation trademark policy. I am 90% sure this was him — it's not legalese and makes no fucking sense to single out WP Engine.

Old text: The abbreviation “WP” is not covered by the WordPress trademarks and you are free to use it in any way you see fit. New text: The abbreviation “WP” is not covered by the WordPress trademarks, but please don’t use it in a way that confuses people. For example, many people think WP Engine is “WordPress Engine” and officially associated with WordPress, which it’s not. They have never once even donated to the WordPress Foundation, despite making billions of revenue on top of WordPress.

Sep 25: Automattic puts up their own legal response.

anyway this fucking sucks

This is bigger than anything Matt's done before. I'm so worried about my friends who're still there. The internal ramifications have... been not great so far, including that Matt's naturally being extra gung-ho about "you're either for me or against me and if you're against me then don't bother working your two weeks".

Despite everything, I like WordPress. (If you dig into this, you'll see plenty of people commenting about blocks or Gutenberg or React other things they hate. Unlike many of the old FOSSheads, I actually also think Gutenberg/the block editor was a good idea, even if it was poorly implemented.)

I think that the original mission — to make it so anyone can spin up a website that's easy enough to use and blog with — is a good thing. I think, despite all the ways being part of FOSS communities since my early teens has led to all kinds of racist, homophobic and sexual harm for me and for many other people, that free and open-source software is important.

So many people were already burning out of the project. Matt has been doing this for so long that those with long memories can recite all the ways he's wrecked shit back a decade or more. Most of us are exhausted and need to make money to live. The world is worse than it ever was.

Social media sucks worse and worse, and this was a world in which people missed old webrings, old blogs, RSS readers, the world where you curated your own whimsical, unpaid corner of the Internet. I started actually actively using my own WordPress blog this year, and I've really enjoyed it.

And people don't want to deal with any of this.

The thing is, Matt's right about one thing: capital is ruining free open-source software. What he's wrong about is everything else: the idea that WordPress.com isn't enshittifying (or confusing) at a much higher rate than WP Engine, the idea that WP Engine or Silver Lake are the only big players in the field, the notion that he's part of the solution and not part of the problem.

But he's started a battle where there are no winners but the lawyers who get paid to duke it out, and all the volunteers who've survived this long in an ecosystem increasingly dominated by big money are giving up and leaving.

Anyway if you got this far, consider donating to someone on gazafunds.com. It'll take much less time than reading this did.

[imurasakaw]

it’s thinking about hiro hours… man the way that he’s normally the most kind, compassionate, mellow person of the wps gang, who will run into fire to save even the man (especially the man) who had brutally slaughtered his parents and haunted his nightmares for his entire adolescent life. but when he saw rei lying motionless on the ground after a grenade went off and plamya standing over him with an aimed gun, he didn’t even hesitate to put a bullet into her shoulder. no “freeze don’t move!” or “drop your weapon!” first, which might’ve fit the detco moral worldview more. nope, straight to the bullet. and three more when plamya tried to run. he would’ve chased her down too, damn however few bullets he had left in that cartridge, if rei hadn’t called out to stop him. and hiro’s voice!! when he asked zero if he was ok!! the terseness, the almost fear-hoarse tremor. if he had been a split second slower, he would’ve lost zero. when he first crested the rooftop and saw the tableau laid out in front of him, he might’ve had a moment of fear that zero’s already dead from the grenade. maybe he would have wanted of his own personal accord to put a few more bullets in plamya, just from that thought alone. and earlier, when he first ran into the building, he saw her shoot at matsuda, divested her of her gun with one kick (?!!?! the skill), and immediately asked if zero’s ok because he didn’t see him there. truly rei and rei’s safety is his priority at any moment. hiro was the first to shoot at her back in the building when she ran too, despite rei having had his gun out since the beginning of the encounter. (i could also headcanon about whether this willingness to fire relates to their different respective undercover duties and how doing those things might’ve changed them slightly at their core.) but yeah, just. characters who are usually gentle and soft-spoken but who have inner cores of steel and will kill you if you hurt their people. always a place in my heart for them

[mariacallous]

Georgians are in the streets fighting for their democracy. The Georgian Dream party, which is working to align Tbilisi with Moscow’s interests, declared victory in the country’s Oct. 26 election before the votes were even counted. Voters and election observers were harassed by Russian-funded gangs and mobsters; just after the election, protesters holding European Union flags were sprayed with water from high-powered hoses. And the person who has the iron will necessary to lead the charge against Russian-inspired authoritarianism in Georgia? A woman: President Salome Zourabichvili.

This is no accident. Across the world, women have, and are, playing incredible roles as bulwarks against the rise of authoritarianism. Moldovan President Maia Sandu is standing up to a tsunami of Russian disinformation. In Poland, women played a critical role in the effort to oust the right-wing populist Law and Justice (PiS) party. In Hong Kong, women continue to be the practical and normative face of resistance to Chinese authoritarian rule.

These are the freedom fighters of the 21st century. And yet, the U.S. national security community tends to view women’s issues as a domestic concern, frivolous, or irrelevant to “hard” security matters. For example, in 2003, discussions of securing Iraq excluded women, with a top U.S. general stating, “When we get the place secure, then we’ll be able to talk about women’s issues.” More recently, the role of women in the military has been reduced to discussions of diversity, equity, and inclusion, rather than a focus on how women have been vital to solving the United States’ most wicked national security problems—from serving on the front lines in combat to providing essential intelligence analysis. But if the overall aim of U.S. national strategy is to shore up democracy and democratic freedoms, the treatment of women and girls cannot be ignored.

Globally, women’s rights are often eroding in both policy and practice, from the struggles of the Iranian and Afghan women who exist under gender apartheid to the Kenyan women experiencing the harsh backlash of the rise of the manosphere. In tandem, there’s been a sharp rise in reports of online harassment and misogyny worldwide.

National security analysts explore issues and psychologies through any number of prisms, but Women, Peace, and Security (WPS) remains an underutilized one. One of the national security community’s core tasks is discerning signals from noise in the global strategic environment, and regressive ideas on gender and gender equality can be a useful proxy metric for democratic backsliding and authoritarian rise.

The United States’ 2023 Strategy and National Action Plan on Women, Peace and Security provides the backbone for the United States to leverage WPS to counter authoritarianism. It highlights that displays of misogyny online are linked to violent action. The plan also points out that formally incorporating gendered perspectives is essential for maintaining democratic institutions at home and modeling them aboard. This includes recognizing misogyny—online or in policy—as an early indicator of authoritarian rise.

Unfortunately, WPS is often misread as simply including more women in the national security workforce. But it is more than that. It offers a framework for understanding why it is useful to take gendered perspectives into account when assessing how the actions of individuals or groups enhance national security, which is especially important at a time when authoritarian regimes are weaponizing gender in ways that strengthen their grip on power domestically and justify their aggression abroad.

In Russia, President Vladimir Putin has argued that he is the guardian of traditional Christian values, telling women that they should be back at home raising children, and has been rolling back domestic violence laws at the same time. Days before invading Ukraine in February 2022, Putin said, “Like it or don’t like it, it’s your duty, my beauty,” which was widely interpreted within Russia as a reference to martial rape. Russia’s own army is built on a foundation of hierarchical hazing in which “inferior” men are degraded by their comrades. With that kind of rhetoric from the top, is it any wonder that Russian soldiers’ war crimes have included the rapes of women and children?

But Putin isn’t alone. In Hungary, Prime Minister Viktor Orban has consolidated media outlets to censor women’s voices, in the name of protecting traditional values. He has also used coercive financial practices to push women out of the workforce and positions of political power and into more traditional roles of wife and mother. In Belarus, President Alexander Lukashenko attempted to force the deportation of the most prominent woman opposition leader and imprisoned her after she tore up her passport to prevent it. In China, where women were once told they “hold up half the sky,” President Xi Jinping has worked to undo decades of Chinese Communist Party policy on gender equality. Chinese women are now being encouraged to return home and become mothers, while feminists have been targeted legally and socially.

The WPS agenda provides the U.S. national security community with three opportunities to recognize, understand, and counter early-stage authoritarianism.

First, the United States can do a much better job of supporting women’s groups around the world as a central aspect of its national security strategy. Women’s groups are often a bellwether for authoritarian rise and democratic backsliding—as currently on display in Russia, China, Hungary, Georgia, and Belarus, where women inside and outside their respective regimes have been specifically targeted or attacked.

Women have also found innovative ways to resist the rise of authoritarian norms. In places like Moldova, women have acted as bulwarks against authoritarianism despite vicious disinformation campaigns targeting women leaders. Yet when it comes to formulating and executing strategies on national security, women’s groups are often left in the margins and their concerns dismissed.

Second, gender perspectives are essential to more fulsome intelligence gathering and analysis. The U.S. intelligence community can do a much better job of integrating gender—particularly as it relates to the treatment of the most vulnerable—as an indicator of societal and democratic health. This includes understanding how both masculinities and femininities influence decision-making and how, in turn, lived experiences act as necessary analytical tools. Training collectors and analysts of intelligence to recognize gendered indicators will provide a more robust view of the geopolitical landscape and fill critical holes in national security decision-making.

Finally, the United States must improve the participation of its national security community in WPS and feminist foreign-policy discussions. For too long, the “hard” security sector has distanced itself from more “human” security-focused endeavors and treated women’s rights as something that’s just nice to have.

Yet national security is an essentially human endeavor, and gender is a central component of what it means to be human. This is something that needs to be appreciated to better understand the many dimensions of the conflict—disinformation, online influence campaigns, and lawfare—that authoritarian regimes are waging against the United States and its allies.

[theambitiouswoman]

https://www.printabulls.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Printable-Habit-Tracker-Tracker-12.pdf

do you personally think this is cool for someone who’s trying to build their dream life

habits like:

praying

drinking water

reading your blog for positivity/ growth mindset

no social media

talking a week

reading a self help book

daily habits to develop to the person i want to be …

maybe

no social media (i do not like knowing about other lives anymore)

no engaging in gossip

I genuinely think this is a great list. I do all of those things lol

I would recommend you add these:

journaling

getting at least 10 mins of sun (in the morning if you can)

committing to reading at least 10 pages of a book a day

i would also recommend stacking a few things, like for example, reading (audio book) and going on walks

no screen time an hour before bed

listen to subliminals or 528 hz while you sleep or before bed

think thats a good core :)

[artist-in-training-wheels]

Updated designs as of: 8/20/24

Remember when I said I was knee-deep into SAMS/LAES? Welp, I still am- so here's my (mental) designs of all the core characters (Not scaled for height)! Some notes/extra thoughts under the cut :D Added their pallets to make coloring easier!

Main 4:

Work:

I swapped Sun and Moon waist thingy; I just think they would do that since they're close. Their arm ribbons were also changed to purple to match!

Moon has a cape instead of a ruffle like Sun because... idk, I think he'd like it!

Earth and Lunar also have matching cuffs; theirs is pale/light cobalt blue.

Gave Earth's dress more Princess vibes; why? Idk, just felt like she would like it!

Sun's joints can be seen since he hasn't died and been "placed" in a new/updated body!

Casual:

Moon and Earth (kinda) have casual outfits, so I thought I'd make something for Sun and Lunar.

Sun HAS his matching friendship bracelet with Dazzle- I finally decided to draw it ^^

Sun's shirt says, "Here comes the Sun" I feel it would mostly be a gag gift, but he likes it!

I almost gave him a sweater (cause he gives me sweater vibes, tbh), but then I saw his Q&A video and went, "damn, never mind, I guess".

Lunar's hoodie was also a gag gift (cause its color scheme is similar to Gemini)- but he likes it too much, plus it's soft :D

Made Earth's sweater a bit darker, mainly cause she has a lot of light colors already (the pink comes from the sprinkle sweater!)

I also feel like the boys would take off their bells when they're not working.

It was asked how and... idk they made an interdimensional portal- I'm sure they found a way to take off the bells lmao

The other 4:

I hate how I did Ruin's rays and hat. But nothing was working for me, so... oh well...

I gave Jack the two tips for his hat because I think he'd like those- same with the arm sleeves!

Also- yes he has a friendship bracelet with Dazzle- he keeps it protected under his arm sleeve, it's identical to Sun's!

I really like how Solar came out. Specifically his boots and shirt design!

He gives me knee boot vibes, so I gave him shoes with a sun and a moon on the back (they lace up just didn't feel like adding those details)

I Like how Eclipse came out- Miiiight redesign him... depending on how the Eclipse and Puppet Show goes, but for now, I'm content :)

I never mentioned it, but I do imagine that Eclipse has a second set of arms. I would think Solar did, too, but those were taken away during his revival because of the "Eclipse sees other Eclipses as inferior" stuff!

The Evil 4:

I made Dark Sun look like Regular Sun... cause that's kinda his whole thing! But if I were to give him a different outfit- it would be Eclipse's!

Few changes to Nexus (I can't take him or his model serious tbh, I kept laughing XD), decided to give his hat a Wither shard at the tip because power (and possible corruption) go BRRRRR (Side Note: Made an AU on it :D)

I'm not sure how visible it is, but on his right cheek, you can see a virus of some kind—I really like that, so I put it on him because I really like the idea of him slowly being corrupted due to his insanity!

He has a darker shade of boots similar to Solar because... well, Solar :)

World President Earth (or WP Earth) has a lovely wine-red dress with her flag as a cape (the same flag seen in the thumbnail)!

The flag is held together by a smiley pin because why not =)

Evil Lunar (while tempting to go with Current Lunar design) has the design of the previous version because, well... that's the form he gained the power in (from my understanding)

The tip of his hat is a dying Star because that feels appropriate, in my opinion.

I MIGHT do Foxy, FC, Monty, and Puppet, but I'm not too sure, tbh, since my mental image isn't too far off from their models. Anyways, time to return to my little gremlin hole and watch the series :)

[thecourtscorkboard]

Farewell, My Turnabout (2-4: PART ONE)

Justice for All comes to its end in one of the series's most beloved cases: the truth behind an award show murder, the fate of a famous actor, and Maya's life are all on the line in Farewell, My Turnabout.

Welcome to 2-4, the final case of Justice for All. At an awards ceremony that we were graciously invited to by a previous client, an actor is murdered and another actor is arrested for the crime: and an acquittal is the price for Maya's life.

I don't want to waste too much time setting up for 2-4: it's a case I have a lot of thoughts about, so let's just jump into it!

THE CORE CAST:

Phoenix Wright: Phoenix, still recovering from the trials and tribulations that were 2-3, is invited to an awards ceremony by a former client. Unfortunately, he's wrapped up in a murder nearly beyond comprehension.

Maya Fey: Maya is invited alongside Phoenix to the awards ceremony: and she's ecstatic, given that this is an awards ceremony all about the Samurais!

Pearl Fey: Although she may not know what an 'award' is, Pearl is happy to tag along to a once-in-a-lifetime event: and she takes the role as our main assistant!

Miles Edgeworth: The glorious return of Miles Edgeworth is what defines the climax of this case, and he wastes no time stealing the spotlight and returning as the ultimate arbiter of the law.

Franziska von Karma: Although she's not the lead prosecutor, this case is still Franziska's: and she serves a vital role in its conclusion and introduction!

THE MAIN CAST:

Dick Gumshoe: Gumshoe is really putting in the hours here, starring as the lead detective and a close partner for this mystery!

Matt Engarde: A world-famous actor known for his role as the Nickel Samurai. He's been arrested for the murder of a rival actor, and there may be more than meets the eye...

Adrian Andrews: Matt's assistant and a tragic character in her own right, Adrian takes her role very seriously. Perhaps a bit too seriously. ADRIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

Will Powers: WP returns as our inviter and as a star witness, pun intended! He looks pretty good in that suit of his, doesn't he?

Wendy Oldbag: Stop the presses! The windbag wants to speak! Oldbag returns in full security guard fashion, starring a brand new outfit to boot!

Lotta Hart: As Lotta's final appearance in the main series, she marches into the scene with southern bravado and a knack for photographic journalism!

THE SECONDARY CAST:

Shelly de Killer: A mysterious assassin. He trusts those who trust him, but when those rules are broken...

Juan Corrida: A famous actor known for starring as the Jammin' Ninja and the victim in this case.

Celeste Inpax: Juan Corrida's former manager. Although she's been gone for two years, her impact is still felt on her protégé, Adrian...

Director Hotti: Eugh.

A BRIEF RECAP

An awards show is nearing its conclusion. The finalists are being announced and everything is coming to a head: the winner of this year's Hero of Heroes Grand Prix is... the Nickel Samurai out of nowhere with a steel chair, stealing the Jammin' Ninja's thunder!

I fuck with this design.

Investigation, Day One

Maya is enthralled by the awards ceremony: which makes sense, given that she's a massive fan of the samurai shows. Phoenix is decidedly uninterested, and Will Powers is happy that the actor behind the mask is doing the series justice: we learn that he invited us here as thanks for our defense in 1-3! Pearl is very confused but happy to be here as usual.

Maya immediately notices that something was off about the Jammin' Ninja: he wasn't carrying his guitar. WP agrees with her, but Phoenix brushes it off. It's clear that he very much wants to go home, but WP interests us by talking about a press conference involving the Nickel Samurai confessing to something. Talking with him a bit more, apparently the Nickel Samurai is so successful that they're making a movie out of him: Maya tells us that the new actor's name is Matt Engarde, and apparently the Nickel Samurai is in a heated competition with the Jammin' Ninja. They even air at the exact same time! Even Matt and the person who plays the Jammin' Ninja don't like each other. If you present WP's profile to him before we leave Pearl tells him that he looks very nice, which makes him happy.

Anyways, before we're dragged off by Maya to the lobby, we visit the hallway. Matt and another actor's, Juan Corrida's, doors are right across from each other, and it's clear that whoever this "Juan Corrida" fellow is... he's much more well liked. Apparently, Maya's been infodumping 24/7 about Matt Engarde to Phoenix: she's that big of a fan, huh?

Anyways, we head back to Viola Hall and are dragged off by Maya to see the post-ceremony show! Before we leave, however, WP gives us a ticket to the press conference. When we get to the lobby, however, the PA system blares that the conference is cancelled. Why? It's a police matter!

The low blind.

A security guard tells us to stop while we're going to check it out and gets into a very long today about the youth and- oh you've gotta be kidding me. It's Wendy Oldbag! Apparently, after she got fired from Global Studios, she tried to be Edgeworth's bodyguard: but he flatly turned her down. We get a little more information out of her—apparently there's been a murder! Here, at the Gatewater Hotel!

Maya manages to convince us (read: blackmail us) into sneaking away under the guise of going to the restroom. When we get to the Viola Hall, where the ceremony took place, it looks like nothing happened here, but before we leave a bellboy stops Maya. Apparently, she's got a phone call: it could be somebody from Kurain Village!

The high blind.

Maya decides to go with the bellboy to answer her phone call: we head into the hallway. This must be where it happened! After all, Dick Gumshoe and Lotta Hart are battling it out. Wait. Lotta's here? She's happy to see us, and Gumshoe confirms that a murder has happened inside of the room he's guarding: Juan Corrida's! Apparently, Matt Engarde—the Nickel Samurai—is being accused of "bumping off" Juan.

We ask Gumshoe why Matt got arrested, but his lips are sealed. We can't risk any leaks, and Pearl tells us that if Maya knew then she'd force us to take this case: which is... rather true. We head back to the lobby and tell WP what happened: and he understandably nearly buckles over. Before he leaves, WP gives us a small transceiver. Apparently, somebody told him to give this to us. Sure enough, it starts beeping...

...And on the other end is a mysterious voice alongside an all-too familiar one screaming for help: Maya has been kidnapped!

The cards are dealt.

The kidnapper has a simple demand. We will achieve a total acquittal for Matt Engarde in the first day of trial. If we do not, Maya will be killed. If we do, then she will be returned to us. Before he hangs up, he tells us his name: "De Killer". Pearl becomes completely inconsolable and we rush to Detective Gumshoe while WP looks over her: he's quick to tell us, though, that Matt Engarde is likely guilty. And if he wasn't, then why would there be a kidnapping?!

Gumshoe does tell us one thing, though: there's so much evidence that it was Matt Engarde that it's almost weird. De Killer did say something about Matt being set-up, and Gumshoe tells us that we can begin our own investigation after cooperating with the police.

Meanwhile, we slip into Maya's shoes and come face-to-face with De Killer.

Red! The blood of angry... er, assassins?

He reassures her that she is not his target: and she will not be if Phoenix manages to get an acquittal. He then contacts Phoenix: this takes just place just before their first conversation.

The next day, Phoenix and Pearl wake up without getting much sleep. Gumshoe was kind enough to go home with Pearl and Phoenix, and we stiffen our upper lip to be strong. For Pearl's sake! Before we leave, Pearl asks us a question: if we represent Matt, then what do we do if he is our murderer? It's a heavy question and one we're not prepared to answer, so we rush down to the Detention Center. We just can't wait to talk to Matt.

When we talk to him, we learn one thing about him: he's a moron. He thinks we're insurance salespeople, then fire extinguisher sellers, and only after we tell him we're a lawyer (and he talks to his manager) do we get a chance to interview him. It's not much of an interview, though: he doesn't answer our questions at all, and he's ready to show us out until we bring up De Killer's name.

Why does this rattle him?

Matt unexpectedly agrees to take us on as his attorney. Before we leave, we use the magatama to see if he did kill Juan: and when he says he did not, there's no chains or locks in sight. I guess he really didn't kill him! This is good—we've got an innocent client!

We head back to the Gatewater Hotel with one goal in mind: find the real killer. When we get to the lobby, we run into Oldbag, but it turns out that she's only heard everything from Lotta. It turns out she did see something very important, though: but when we try to pry, she's hiding it behind four psyche-locks! I guess we'll have to come back to her later. We run into Lotta in the hallway, and she's accusing us of stealing her camera: we're fervently denying it, but that brings us to another mystery. Where is her camera?

In any case, 'tis time for us to get investigating. One thing's for sure: if Matt was the killer, then he'd have to cross the hallway. Nobody saw him do this that we know of, so that's another layer of... if not proof that he's innocent, then at least a growing certainty. We take note of Lotta's missing camera and talk to her about what happened when Juan was murdered: she was here until Matt was arrested, but says she might've left here for a little bit to look for other stars to take pictures of. There was some big scoop that she was on the lookout for, but when we try to press her on that...

There's a joke to make here, but I don't know what it is.

Oookay, well. Time to make like Liz Truss and leaf. I guess it's time to put the pedal to the metal: let's go inside Juan's room. It's absolutely stuffed with, well, stuffed bears. Gumshoe is quick to inquire about Maya's safety, but we unfortunately have nothing to report: he asks if we're doing okay, but we don't respond. He tells us that we're totally allowed to investigate the crime scene and he'll give us all the information he can and gives Pearl a map: d'awww, he's a good guy.

When it comes to the cause of death, it's pretty obvious. Gumshoe gives us a picture and there's a knife sticking out of his chest. There are fingerprints on the knife, as well: and the current theory is that they're Matt's. Greeeeeeeeeeat. When it comes to Matt's actual arrest, Gumshoe tells us that he's got even more evidence. There was a button that got ripped off and landed in his Hakama, and furthermore he's got a witness: the Wicked Witch of the Witness Stand herself!

We run out of things to talk to him about so we get to presenting. He tells us that the transciever uses radio waves and he'll let us borrow a radio wave scanner: hopefully that'll work. There's also a suspicious guitar case on the scene. It's wet, but only on the top of the lid, with no water inside the case itself. Furthermore, there's no guitar! There's also a wine glass on the table filled with tomato juice: Pearl asks us a good question. Why is it that this is the only thing still intact? We get to talking with Gumshoe, and he tells us that Franziska also noticed that: which means Franziska is at the hote-

Gumshoe's beeper goes off, and on cue:

I was starting to miss her!

Franziska catches Gumshoe before he can run away and she tells us that victory will be hers this time: she's offended when we ask if that's all she's after, though, and storms away after throwing something at us. It looks like... an autograph? Signed "Juan", to... "My Dearest Wendy". Hm.

Maybe she does have a soft spot for us.

Before we leave to deliver the autograph, we stop in Matt's room. There's somebody in here before us: this is Ms. Adrian Andrews, Matt's manager. She's clearly very down-to-business, so down to business we get: interviewing her is a bit of a hassle, but she's quick to give us some information. She was eating dinner with Matt the night of the murder, did some errands to prepare for the post-ceremony show, and went to check on Juan when she found his body.

Apparently, Juan didn't have a manager. When it comes to the press conference, she didn't really know what it was about either: she was just told to put one on. When it comes to Juan, she's clearly not a very big fan of his. Or Matt's, for that matter. She equates them to children, always bickering about every little thing, and we get a hunch that she knows a little bit more than what she's telling us. We try to pry, but she gives us psyche-locks!

Oh, well. In any case, we know what to do with the autograph Franziska gave– er, threw at us. We move to rush back to the lobby and confront Ms. Oldbag, but before we do we're stopped by WP in the Viola Hall! He tells us a bit about the Nickel Samurai, which is focused on three brothers—the Aluminum, Tin, and Nickel Samurai—all being in love with the same woman. Pearl asks WP for more information, but he tells her to tune in: and she considers it. He tells us about the Jammin' Ninja as well, which is about a ninja who can't ninja becoming a big pop star, which Pearl also considers watching. They run at the same time, it appears.

When we run into Wendy, it is pitifully easy to break her four psyche-locks. All we have to do is give her the autograph Juan made for her and she spills the beans!

She looks like an alien. Or an insect.

We get to talking with her. She tells us that she straight-up saw Matt leaving Juan's room the night of the murder: ten minutes before his body was discovered, no less! She's going to be a witness in court tomorrow, and she's going to work overtime to get Matt declared guilty. Greeeeeeeeat. Apparently, Matt created some sort of scandal that Juan got wrapped up in: something to do with Adrian, no less. When it comes to what it actually was, though, she isn't sure. It'll come up in next week's tabloid.

Greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeat.

Fantastic. This was a huge waste of my time. (you did not read mine!) We go back to talk to WP about this "scandal", and he gives us more information. Apparently, Adrian and Juan were meeting in secret: and even more than that, the tabloid is hinting that they could even be lovers! He gives us the clipping and we have enough evidence to break apart Lotta's psyche-locks, so let's go do that!

Running into her in the hallway, we get to crackin'. She was here to get the drop on this "scandal"! We're right on the money, and her psyche-locks are broken after we substantiate our claim with the newspaper clipping. There's apparently a note on the story in her camera case. Another reason to keep an eye out for it, I guess.

Welp, there's one place to go now. Gumshoe told us to meet him at the Criminal Affairs Department, so that's exactly what we do. He is not happy to see us. Or, I guess more accurately, not happy for us. All of the evidence is pointing towards Matt's guilt: it's an airtight case, as far as the LAPD is concerned. The fingerprints did turn out to be Matt's. Furthermore, Oldbag's testimony is also damning. We try to pry for more information, and eventually we get to talking about the scandal.

Two years ago, a woman committed suicide: this woman, Celeste Impax, was Juan's own manager. Furthermore, she was Adrian's mentor. No wonder she hated him. Before he can tell us any more, Franziska barges in and fires Gumshoe! She begins to berate us for interfering, as if we didn't interfere then she would've won...

...says somebody finishing her sentence for her.

The great revival.

Franziska snaps at Edgeworth, but he keeps uncharacteristically cool: and, when she storms out in a huff, we get to snapping at him. Phoenix starts shouting at him, saying that he thought Edgeworth was dead and that he never wanted to see him again. Edgeworth coolly responds that he won't be showing up at tomorrow's trial, and thankfully given that he's not in charge of this investigation he's able to give us a little more information. Before we ask him, though, he reminisces about the von Karma creed: and we berate him for leaving because he lost his perfect win record. Edgeworth tries to correct us and asks why we stand in court. When we say it's to save our clients' lives, he has the audacity to tell us that we still have a lot to learn.

Sigh. In any case, it's time to get talking about the case. Edgeworth is happy to give us information on Celeste. Apparently, after she killed herself, her suicide note vanished. It was highly likely she did write one, given the ink on her fingers, as well. When it comes to who hid it? Well, it had to have been Juan. He was the one who discovered her body, after all. Edgeworth gives us Celeste's suicide report and we get to flipping: this is only part one, and Edgeworth gives us part two...

...it's an attempted suicide report and the victim is Adrian Andrews. This is shocking information! Adrian has an incredibly dependent nature, Edgeworth tells us—she latches on to authority figures in attempts to emulate them as she has very little self-confidence of her own. Celeste was the person she had latched on to, and when Celeste died she felt like she had nowhere else to go. Without somebody to anchor herself to, anxiety and desperation take control of her life: even with counseling, she's very clearly putting up a façade.

We head back to Matt's hotel room to talk with her. Franziska is there before us, and we learn that little beeping sound is a tracking device she planted on Gumshoe to know his every move. Okay, sure. Assault and battery, clear familial issues, and now stalking?

...I can fix her.

Anyways! It's time to break Adrian's psyche-locks. She knows the reason he was killed: she had to get close to Juan? Why? For Celeste's sake. She had to find the suicide note! She's uncharacteristically enraged to hear us talking about her, and when we finally tell her that we know about her dependent nature she folds: this is, indeed, why she got close with Juan. We're even going further than just this, however—Phoenix accuses her, to her face, of murdering Juan.

And yet she still denies it...

There's little else we can do today. We head back to the office and De Killer is on the line! We ask to hear Maya's voice and he relents: she tells us to talk to Mia, and Pearl channels her for us! Mia tells us that Maya is safe. She also left her a note: a smart use of spirit channeling! She didn't see the face of her kidnapper, however.

For the last bit of this investigation, we actually play as Maya. Scurrying around in the dark, we find a small card: it's similar to the one Adrian has, complete with a pink shell decal. Maya skillfully uses it to jimmy open the lock on her door... and investigation comes to a close!

Trial, Day Two

Before trial begins, we're called by Shelly de Killer. Apparently, he's given us a present: he's vague about it, though. Weird, as per usual. Maya is okay, but hasn't been fed at all. Thankfully, Mia's by our side this time, and when we go into trial we learn what this "present" of his really is.

In my favorite moment of this entire game, Franziska von Karma has been shot.

The flop.

This must be De Killer's gift to us. Franziska is one of the top prosecutors in the country: who could take her place?

Well, one person could. Edgeworth gives us the good news—she is alive and in stable condition. Just like her father, she was shot in the right shoulder: unlike her father, she is currently undergoing surgery. Edgeworth tells us that over this past year he has been undergoing a journey—and hopes that by the end of this trial we will understand the truth he has reached.

Gumshoe is called to the stand and lays out the facts of the case before us. After this trial, he's to turn in his badge: after a brief pep talk by Edgeworth, however, he gets out of his funk and is ready to testify. He tells us what we already knew: the murder took place during the awards show, Juan was murdered, and there was nothing suspicious about the guitar case.

After pressing Gumshoe for more information, we learn that only the victim's fingerprints were on his guitar case. We also learn that the cause of death wasn't stabbing: it was strangulation. Juan must've been stabbed after he died. Gumshoe's testimony comes to an end and we're given a new one on why Matt was arrested.

We get more information on both the knife—which, again, bears Matt's fingerprints—and the button found in his hakama. He slips up, though! He says that the murder was premeditated. We know this isn't true: after all, the knife he used was from the Gatewater Hotel! This was an issue in 1-5, if you recall.

When you commit a murder, you don't forget the murder weapon!

Edgeworth shuts this contradiction down, however. Juan's knife was present at his table. Whose knife wasn't present at his table? Matt's. Edgeworth says that a verdict could be reached if we have no new evidence to present—is he throwing us a bone? There's one thing that's piquing our attention. Remember the glass filled with tomato juice?

It's completely undisturbed in the crime scene photo, just like Pearl picked up on. Edgeworth brushes this off. Adrian Andrews, who discovered the body, must've simply put it down without thinking. We ask for proof, and Edgeworth gives it. Only Adrian's fingerprints were found on the glass! His Honor is ready to pass judgement but Edgeworth mysteriously stops him. He has another witness!

Oldbag takes the stand and Edgeworth is, understandably, shocked that it's her under that helmet. She gives her testimony about seeing Matt leaving Juan's room right after the murder supposedly took place: when we get to pressing her, she says that she definitely saw that bright red racing jacket of his. That can't be true, though. Juan's button landed in the hakama of his costume: if he was the murderer, then he'd have been wearing the Nickel Samurai outfit, not his racing jacket!

We ask for more testimony. Oldbag says that she did see the Nickel Samurai and got mixed up. There's a plain contradiction there, however. The Nickel Samurai costume has gloves. So, then, how did Matt's fingerprints end up on the knife?

Edgeworth says that the initial intent behind Matt's visit to Juan's room may not have been murder. He visited Juan, took off his gloves to relax, and then killed him. This can't be possible, though!

When you don't commit a murder, you don't bring a murder weapon!

We're going to fish for a turnabout now! There's a compelling theory brewing in Phoenix's mind. The real killer brought the knife in an attempt to frame our client! Who's the real killer? There's only one answer, and Oldbag even tells us that she was waiting for her. It's Adrian Andrews!

Oldbag is ready to testify to why she was waiting for Adrian. She was waiting to see if the scandal was true! How did she know about that, though? After all, the tabloid's gonna be published next week! Unless...

...remember Lotta's missing camera? Oldbag folds. She did steal Lotta's note! It was in the camera case We know she stole more than that, though.

I love how clearly desperate, tired, and pissed off he is here.

Oldbag finally confesses and shows us the camera. She says that she stole it to check for photos: His Honor orders the bailiff to do so as well. Edgeworth tells us that there's only one photo worth showing—the Nickel Samurai leaving Juan Corrida's room. His Honor is ready to pass judgement once more. After all, Matt himself said that during the time of the murder he was in the Nickel Samurai costume!

There's one thing off about this photo, however. The Nickel Samurai in this photo is holding up their hakama pants. The hakama is too long! This wouldn't be the case if it was actually Matt. It's his costume! Furthermore, in the poster, you can clearly see the Nickel Samurai's socks. The costume is too large for whoever is wearing it! There's only one person who could have access to the suit and be too short to fit in it comfortably.

Adrian Andrews.

Mia picks up on something, though. Edgeworth is unusually calm. When we formally indict Adrian, His Honor says that he'll call a subpoena: and Mia points out that this will take one more day! We desperately beg His Honor to keep this trial going. Edgeworth agrees with us and tells us one thing.

Everything is going according to plan.

Court is adjourned for a brief recess. In the Defendant's Lobby, Matt is shocked to hear that she was behind Juan's murder: but we have motive with the suicide note. But who told us about that note, Mia asks? Edgeworth did.

When court reconvenes, we're left with a sinking feeling in our stomachs. Adrian tells us that she had been seeing Juan and knew about the rivalry between him and Matt. Adrian testifies about when she discovered the body—she was in a state of shock, and when she felt she was about to faint poured a glass of tomato juice. Mia tells us that the key to breaking through her testimony is disrupting her pacing. To be blunt, unlike other witnesses she's smart.

Our main strategy, then, is to press. As we press, we notice that she's getting more nervous: she's starting to stumble over her words as we press her about her state of shock and the glass of juice. When we get back to talking about her state of shock, she lets it slip that she made a mistake! She shakily answers that she knocked the flower vase over—this is an obvious lie if I've ever seen one! Adrian says that she knocked it over and that it fell onto the guitar case: but we know this isn't possible, as the guitar case is wet and has glass on the outside, not the inside!

Why would she lie about this?

Other than the vase, Adrian testified, she didn't touch anything at all. Why, then, was the guitar case closed if it was open in the picture? We ask Adrian to testify about the guitar case: this might be the key that blows the whole case wide open! At least, that's the façade we're putting up. Edgeworth knows we're grasping at straws. Frankly, we can't believe we're grasping this far, either.

Adrian's pacing is definitely disrupted now: her testimony, that she opened the guitar case for some reason after she found Juan's body, is riddled with holes. Her fingerprints weren't found on the guitar case, after all! This isn't strange, she argues back: she was wearing gloves. This can't be true, though! After all, her fingerprints were on the glass of tomato juice!

Mia tells us that we're definitely on to something: there must've been something else inside the guitar case. It all clicks into place! It makes perfect sense for one thing to be inside of the guitar case. The Nickel Samurai costume! Edgeworth and His Honor are both incredulous, but we have an idea. There was something Matt was going to confess at a press conference when he won the award: but what if it wasn't Matt in the Nickel Samurai costume?

He's exhausted, isn't he?

We make an outrageous claim: that Juan Corrida was going to wear the Nickel Samurai costume and hold a fake press conference! This! This is our turnabout! It wasn't going to be a confession. As Edgeworth notes, this would be public disclosure! Andrews tells us the truth: we're right on the money. The press conference was set up by Juan! "If he lost the Grand Prix, then Matt was going down with him," she says. Adrian says that Juan must've had a pretty big secret if it was going to ruin his career.

His Honor asks if Adrian knows what the "secret" is. She claims she doesn't. She's asked to testify one last time about why she's been behaving like she did—she says it was all to protect Matt, given that she's his manager and the button and knife are proof of his guilt. We press her and she tells us that Matt's motive was about the press conference: but she can't prove it. When it comes to the button, she says that it was torn off during his fight with Matt.

This, alas, is not possible. There's blood on the button, after all. This wouldn't be an issue if he was stabbed before he died, but he wasn't! He was strangled first and then stabbed. This can only mean one thing. The button was torn off deliberately! Why was the button ripped off? There's one answer. To frame Matt!

Everything is falling into place now. All of the evidence did seem too perfect, remember? We finally openly accuse Adrian of murdering Juan. If asked if we have any evidence, we say we have all the evidence! Adrian's perfect framing is coming back to bite her in the ass. The knife used to stab Juan's body? It was taken from Matt's room. Of course it'd be covered in his fingerprints! The only one that could take the knife from his room, and know which knife to take, would be her.

Furthermore! The only people that could've removed the button from Juan's costume were his killer and the person who found the body. We know Matt didn't: after all, why would he incriminate himself?! The guitar case is also proof. Who could've known there was a spare costume inside of the case? Two people: Juan Corrida and Adrian Andrews!

Edgeworth objects. Adrian's fingerprints weren't found on the guitar case! This is elementary. She used a towel or a cloth to hide her fingerprints: but the tomato juice? That was deliberate! After all, she needed to create the appearance of being a "dazed witness"! Finally, look at the picture of the Nickel Samurai leaving Juan's room. If somebody was too short to fit in the costume, like Adrian, then they'd have to ride the pants up to walk properly!

We can't: for Maya's sake!

Adrian refuses to testify any more: she's pleading the fifth! It must've been Franziska. Remember that they were talking in Matt's room yesterday. Edgeworth says that everything we've proven so far is simply circumstantial. With Adrian refusing to testify and Edgeworth shooting down our argument, we've ended up in the worst possible situation! His Honor says that the court must be adjourned today for further investigation. No! This can't be how it ends!

We beg His Honor to keep proceedings going. When Edgeworth interjects, we get to begging him. Edgeworth says that there is one more thing we can do: have Adrian testify to something unrelated to the evidence pointing towards Matt. What about the juice she poured?

Adrian testifies that she thought Juan was just sleeping. This is why she poured the glass of juice: she poured it for him. This can't be right. After all, there was a knife sticking out of his body! Her entire testimony was a lie. A lie that has proven one thing: she had to have been Juan's murderer!

Court's proceedings are coming to a close, and we've done it. We've done it! We've found who the real killer was and saved Maya's life. When it comes to the matter of the evidence, Adrian still refuses to testify: in that case, court today is over. Which is... weird. Why isn't Adrian confessing? That's what murderers have always done in the past.

...Is she...?

Edgeworth objects, stating that a verdict now would be immature. If Adrian isn't going to testify about why she tried to frame Matt... then he'll do it himself. She's still steadfastly refusing to testify: she's in complete denial that she'll be found guilty! It must be Franziska's influence—her dependent nature has caused Adrian to latch on to her!

Edgeworth tells us that we have a choice to make. Think about what the witness did and did not do: what kind of man are we? We have to win an acquittal for Maya, but we just... we just can't let the truth die. Adrian refuses to testify when we try to force her, however, and Edgeworth does the unthinkable.

He tells the truth about Adrian for her. Her attempted suicide in the past. Her dependency issues. Adrian begs him to stop: when it comes to this all being revealed, she'd rather...

Edgeworth's gambit.

Adrian tells us the truth. She did try to pin the crime on Matt... but she also discovered Juan's body. Adrian is livid: she's swearing at Matt, calling him a scumbag who's trying to flee from the truth "just like last time". This testimony is airtight. It must be the truth. It is impossible to indict Adrian on anything outside of fabricating evidence to get Matt convicted.

An extra day is called for further investigation.

Court is adjourned.

Before we leave, Edgeworth asks Adrian about the card in her hand. When she says she found it next to Juan's body, he demands she give it to him: apparently, this is a major piece of evidence.

In any case, however... court is adjourned.

And we didn't win an acquittal.

This is my favorite sprite in the entire trilogy.

Investigation, Day Two

Pearl is understandably inconsolable. Gumshoe swings by the offices to talk to us: apparently, now that he's out of a job, he's offering to work for us and help in our investigation. Hey, I won't turn him down. He's just as shocked as us to have heard Edgeworth say he didn't care if Adrian killed herself. We get to asking about Franziska, and she's in good condition: apparently, she was shot in the shoulder. Just like her father.

We play with the idea of visiting her at the... Hotti Clinic, eugh: apparently Phoenix does care about her. If you present her profile to Gumshoe, he tells us that he worries about her. Aw. If only Franziska knew that she had people who cared about her...

In any case, we go down to Hotti Clinic to check up on her. Edgeworth is worried sick about his sister to the point of not knowing that this man isn't Director Hotti: Franziska whips him out of the way. Huh. Well, at least she's still her old self. There's a funny bit here where Phoenix gets embarrassed after Franziska notices he brought her some flowers. See? He does care!

An unlikely friendship, perhaps?

Franziska says that she was going to run the trial today anyways (she's obviously lying, mind you) and Edgeworth dragged her here. Edgeworth says that getting her to the hospital was the logical course of action and that he had to clean up the deal she made with Adrian—she denies that she made such a deal. She calls Adrian weak and storms off, flippantly ignoring the fact that she had manipulated her into nearly being declared guilty for a crime she didn't commit.

When Franziska leaves, we're left alone with Edgeworth. Edgeworth says that the reason he did what he did was because he puts himself on the line and expects everybody else to do the same. When it comes to the card, though... Edgeworth swears us to secrecy. This is tippity-top secret information.

The card is a literal calling card: property of an assassin named Shelly de Killer. The name "De Killer" is an old one, dating back over a hundred years—the latest in the line, Shelly, leaves the card as proof that he committed the murder for his clients.

Before we leave, Edgeworth speaks up. He noticed how we were acting in trial today: desperate. We tell him the truth—Maya's been kidnapped. He's shocked and promises to put together a team to rescue her: we snap at him, telling him that we don't need his pity and that we don't believe that Matt hired De Killer to kill Juan Corrida. Edgeworth goes to prepare his rescue team and gives us a letter of introduction to be allowed to investigate the hotel.

She's still alive, thankfully!

Once we're done talking to Edgeworth, the scene cuts to Maya's perspective. Breaking out of her room with the card, we find ourselves in a room with a bunch of electrical equipment. A satellite dish, a computer, a picture of Celeste Impax, a weird little stuffed bear, and a bunch of video tapes. When we're done investigating, De Killer suddenly appears. He's rather impressed with our escape, but asks us to cooperate. Dead men tell no tales, after all...

We go to the detention center, but visiting hours are over. There's a message left for us by Matt, though: to feed his cat Shoe. Well. Pearl pushes us to feed Shoe, but before we do that we head over to the hotel to investigate. Apparently, Edgeworth buttered Wendy up in his letter of recommendation. Nice. Before we go any further, Wendy tells us that we're not allowed to go into Matt's room. Bummer.

Anyways, before we do anything else, we should probably feed Shoe. When we turn the light on, Matt's butler, John Doe, greets us. He looks oddly familiar, doesn't he?

Where have we seen this face before...?

John is reluctant to give us information about Matt: he doesn't pry into his master's affairs, as it were. He's rather reluctant to talk about anything, as a matter of fact. When we leave, John tells us that people aren't as they appear to be: a strange thing to say, wouldn't you say so?

Heading back to the hotel, we get into the hallway and meet with Lotta. Apparently, the info she made up about Matt foisting Adrian onto Juan? Hogwash. Balderdash, as it were. Great. When we go into Juan's room, Oldbag is waiting for us! Weirdly enough, all the bears around the room are presents. Apparently he fought and befriended a bear at one point. Weird, but okay.

De Killer calls us on the transceiver: we ask to speak to Maya, but the transciever fades away into static! We do manage to get one more day, though. Heading back to the office, Gumshoe is waiting for us. He offers to make dinner, but we're not hungry, and we ask him if he could look at the transceiver. Oddly enough, it's perfectly fine—he suggest electromagnetic interference. He explains it to us: it's like using a cellphone next to a computer making the screen blurry, and when Pearl doesn't understand that, we tell her it's like using the dryer next to the TV and the TV starts acting up.

Gumshoe suggests that some other device messed up the transceiver: like a listening device. And where did the transceiver get messed up? Juan's room! We've got a lead: FINALLY! Gumshoe races to break into the precinct and steal a bug sweeper and we rush to Juan's hotel room. Gumshoe couldn't get a police bug sweeper, but he did manage to find his own: one he whipped up in elementary school. Huh! Guy's handy with electronics. It'll go off on anything that emits electromagnetic waves, but it'll work to find any listening devices!

I'm more impressed that he made it in elementary school. Given he's in his 30s and JfA takes place in 2017, he made this stuff using equipment from the late 80s or early 90s! That's impressive!

We take a good look around the room and find something: a small video camera in the eye of the giant stuffed bear along with a transmitter and a timer. It transmits radio waves: there's no actual video on it. The timer on the device says it was set to start recording at 8:00 PM—around the time Juan was killed! This camera could've caught the murder on tape!

Gumshoe takes the camera and has a great idea: he's going to go to different electronic shops and see if he can't find who bought the camera! Edgeworth shows up and chuckles at Gumshoe's inefficiency: he overheard our entire conversation, it seems. The bear is custom-made, he tells us, and only a few are exported overseas. He takes the stuffed bear and tells us that he can find who bought it: he should still have enough time.

Going back to the office, we start bouncing theories off of Pearl. All the signs are pointing towards Matt being the person who hired De Killer: we head back to the hotel to see if we can find any more clues and find Oldbag investigating with the bug sweeper. She's ready to tell us more scandalous details about Matt. Apparently, Juan was engaged to Celeste. We knew that already, but Celeste killed herself three days after the marriage announcement! What in the world?!

Juan called off his engagement with Celeste for some reason. We head back to the police station one last time, and the Chief tells us that they've got a new witness. Great. Great! Fuckin' great. Edgeworth does us one more kindness and lets us visit the detention center even though visiting hours are over.

Heading back to the detention center, we're giving the option of talking to either Matt or Adrian. We talk to Matt first, and when we ask him about what the "secret" Juan wanted to reveal is...

This must be the key to everything.

We decide to talk to Adrian instead, and she gives us more information. She tells us that the reason she wanted to get her hands on Celeste's suicide note was to burn it: she didn't want anybody to ruin her memory by spreading lies about her. Adrian tells us that she didn't frame Matt—she just planted evidence to make it more obvious that he's the killer. We have no information right now, so heading back to the Police Department, we run into Will Powers: he's tomorrow's decisive witness.

When it comes to his testimony, WP can't say anything, but when it comes to Matt? He's a playboy. Every women swoons over him... except for Adrian. Besides her totally being gay, there's another obvious reason there: he had something to do with Celeste's suicide, didn't he? He's practically begging us to ask him about Celeste's suicide, so we do. He tells us some of Celeste's last words: "It looks like I got caught up with a truly insidious man." Perhaps something on that note incriminated Juan?

After we're done talking to WP, we get a phone call from Gumshoe. He's in a hurry: Edgeworth's gone and done something! He's found the person who bought the spy camera and the bear. It was... Matt Engarde. He even has the receipt to prove it.

It's undeniable now. Matt Engarde hired Shelly de Killer. It's time for us to go back to the detention center and confront him. His psyche-locks are hard to crack: he recorded Juan, he gave the bear to him, we have the receipt, and we know why he recorded everything. He wanted a video of Juan's death.

Finally, we've uncovered the truth... and Matt Engarde introduces himself.

The river.

He knows all about Maya's kidnapping. He knows that we can't possibly say that he's guilty. Engarde leaves, triumphant, and Edgeworth shows up. We have a conversation with him back at the precinct—we can't get Engarde acquitted. That's no proper defense. But Maya's situation... he asks us why we fight, but before we can get into a proper conversation, we're interrupted by De Killer.

De Killer explains why he kidnapped Maya. He had to take care of Matt: he's his client, after all. When he hangs up, we hear a meow: was that... Shoe?

We've met De Killer?! We rush back to Matt's house and find it empty. Dammit! He was here! We were face-to-face with him! Police units rush to Engarde mansion with us. We're too late, but we do get to investigate: we find the bear figurine and the tapes, but we're too late. The video's been taken.

We also find a message from Maya. She wants us to get Matt declared guilty. But we can't do that! We need to save her life. Dammit! There's only one thing we can do. We head back to the detention center and confront Adrian: she has a psyche-lock, and we break it. Adrian tells us the truth—Celeste killed herself because of Matt, who lied about still having a relationship with her. In her suicide note, she wrote down all of Matt's misdeeds: but Juan hid it, waiting to disclose everything in it at the perfect time. This must've been the "secret" he was going to reveal at the press conference.

With all of the information gathered before us...

Investigation comes to a close.

Trial, Day Two

Before trial, Matt taunts us and Mia talks to us. Matt calls us again and we scream into the receiver, causing Gumshoe to be rather hurt by what we have to say. Gumshoe? Oh. He's calling us. He's back on the investigation team and chasing after De Killer: he tells us that the plan in motion is to make the trial last for as long as possible.

With Gumshoe, Edgeworth, Maya, Pearl, and Mia at our backs, it's time for court!

Edgeworth brings up De Killer's calling card. Once it's established that Juan was assassinated, he calls WP to the stand. On the night of the murder, he visited Matt's room! WP testifies that Matt was talking to somebody. There's a trap here: and we need to fall for it, Mia implies. WP says that Matt gave the bellboy a tip, and when asked about something he found strange during said tip-giving he remembers what it was: a fat roll of cash. This was payment.

Greeeeeeeeeeeeeeat.

WP testifies that he saw the bellboy leaving Juan's room. Pressing him, we learn that the bellboy came out of Juan's room empty-handed: we have to pull some cheap tricks here. We point out the tomato juice, but Edgeworth counters: the bellboy was wearing gloves. Black leather gloves!

We're really grasping here...

A large wad of cash and black gloves is enough to convince His Honor that this bellboy is suspicious, however. WP testifies further, saying that the bellboy gave something to somebody in Matt's room after leaving Juan's room: when pressing him, we learn that WP can't remember who took it or what was given. Something was removed from the crime scene—this is added to WP's testimony, and we present the figurine we found in Matt's house.

This is damning proof that Matt was his client, wasn't it? We ask His Honor to stop his judgement—there are questions that need to be answered still! Who took the bear? Well, WP says it was the Nickel Samurai. Shit. Well, there's an issue with that. Matt was arrested at the hotel: so how could he take the bear home?! Edgeworth counters. We admitted to him that the butler was Shelly de Killer, after all.

We grasp at the tiniest of straws by claiming Adrian Andrews is the real client. The courtroom is turning against us, but we weather the abuse: we're doing this to save Maya. Edgeworth notices our logic has flaws... but he can't deny the possibility! He's letting this trial go on, thank God. He's prepared to challenge our theory and calls the only person who could dispel it to the stand: Adrian herself. Court is adjourned for a brief recess.

During our recess, we notice Pearl isn't channeling Mia anymore: a more powerful force has taken over her spirit. Gumshoe is calling us—he doesn't have any more leads and we snap at him for it, but Mia suddenly comes back. Maya was channeling her, and she was able to see something Maya couldn't: a circus tent! Gumshoe tells his team to search in a 300 foot radius around the Berry Big Circus: that's about how far away Mia thinks it was. Earlier on, it's actually mentioned in an optional examine conversation that the Berry Big Circus has just opened back up. There was also a small mailbox and Mia thinks it might've been an office building. Mia tells us how Maya's doing: she's being deliberately starved by De Killer. Is this how he intends to kill her?! That bastard!

Nevertheless, court reconvenes. Edgeworth asks her if she's seen the bear before: Adrian answers she has, and a desperate Phoenix is shocked. Adrian testifies that the figurine is actually a puzzle, and to unlock it you have to take certain pieces out in a certain order to reach its hollow center. Without knowing the order, you can't solve the puzzle, and therefore cannot open the container. Smart.

Not the first place I would've started.

How does she know about this puzzle? Simple. She bought it. It was meant to be a present for Juan during her scheme to get closer to him. Only she and Juan knew that it was actually a puzzle, which meant Matt didn't. This is interesting. After we press every statement, all eyes are on Adrian: she unlocks the puzzle box...

...and inside is Celeste's suicide note.

Adrian says that she looked all over for the bear after discovering Juan's body, but couldn't find it. There's only one thing we can do: read the contents of the note. Adrian knows she can't stop us and Edgeworth tells her that he can't be persuaded to stop anyways. His Honor reads the note aloud: inside the note is a detailed account of the abuse she went through under Matt, how she was engaged to Corrida, and how Matt destroying everything led her to end her own life. This is Edgeworth's motive: Matt killed Juan because he needed to get rid of that note by any means necessary.

We know we can't stop. We have to keep going: Gumshoe hasn't called anybody yet. Right as His Honor is about to declare his verdict we counter—there's no proof that Matt knew this was a puzzle box! Edgeworth shows us the spy camera, however. Wait. Isn't that in our possession? He explains that this is another spy camera of the same make and model that he found in Matt's mansion.

Mia tells us that there's one piece of evidence Edgeworth hasn't had the time to look further into: or ignored to. The suicide note itself. We point out one thing—there is no proof that this is Celeste's. The handwriting hasn't been analyzed, after all!

And with that, we've reached the end of Part One! Part Two can be found here.

[theoutcastrogue]

"Automattic Inc. and its founder have been sued by a WordPress hosting company that alleges an extortion scheme to extract payments for use of the trademark for the open source WordPress software. Hosting firm WP Engine sued Automattic and founder Matt Mullenweg in a complaint filed yesterday in US District Court for the Northern District of California.

"This is a case about abuse of power, extortion, and greed," the lawsuit said. "The misconduct at issue here is all the more shocking because it occurred in an unexpected place—the WordPress open source software community built on promises of the freedom to build, run, change, and redistribute without barriers or constraints, for all."

The lawsuit alleged that "over the last two weeks, Defendants have been carrying out a scheme to ban WPE from the WordPress community unless it agreed to pay tens of millions of dollars to Automattic for a purported trademark license that WPE does not even need."

The complaint says that Mullenweg blocked WP Engine "from updating the WordPress plugins that it publishes through wordpress.org," and "withdrew login credentials for individual employees at WPE, preventing them from logging into their personal accounts to access other wordpress.org resources, including the community Slack channels which are used to coordinate contributions to WordPress Core, the Trac system which allows contributors to propose work to do on WordPress, and the SubVersion system that manages code contributions."

The lawsuit makes accusations, including libel, slander, and attempted extortion, and demands a jury trial. The lawsuit was filed along with an exhibit that shows Automattic's demand for payment. A September 23 letter to WP Engine from Automattic's legal team suggests "a mere 8% royalty" on WP Engine's roughly $400 million in annual revenue, or about $32 million."

[justinspoliticalcorner]

David Badash at NCRM:

U.S. Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth is being criticized after declaring he ended execution of a federal law promoting women, peace, and security that he described as “yet another woke divisive/social justice/Biden initiative” — which was promoted by current top members of the Trump administration and signed into law in 2017 by President Donald Trump. “This morning, I proudly ENDED the “Women, Peace & Security” (WPS) program inside the @DeptofDefense,” Secretary Hegseth bragged on Tuesday. “WPS is yet another woke divisive/social justice/Biden initiative that overburdens our commanders and troops — distracting from our core task: WAR-FIGHTING.” “WPS is a UNITED NATIONS program pushed by feminists and left-wing activists. Politicians fawn over it; troops HATE it,” he claimed. “DoD will hereby executive [sic] the minimum of WPS required by statute, and fight to end the program for our next budget. GOOD RIDDANCE WPS!” In 2019, the Trump White House lauded the WPS program: “The Trump Administration is committed to advancing women’s equality, seeking to protect the rights of women and girls, and promoting women and youth empowerment programs. The United States Strategy on Women, Peace, and Security (WPS Strategy) responds to the Women, Peace, and Security Act of 2017, which President Donald J. Trump signed into law on October 6, 2017.”

Pete Hegseth, a sexist caveman joke of a “Defense Secretary”, terminated the Women, Peace, and Security program instituted under the 1st Trump term.

See Also:

The Guardian: Pete Hegseth scraps Pentagon’s Women, Peace and Security program citing DEI

HuffPost: Pete Hegseth Bragged About Ending A 'Woke' Program. There's Just 1 Problem.

Daily Kos: Hegseth brags about ending 'woke' peace program—signed into law by Trump

[spadilles-lair]

Loadout Display Featuring OpsCore SF, Crye SPC, and AWS SMU

Here's what we are looking at:

Ops-Core FAST SF Ballistic Helmet Setup:

Dynamic Fuzz Cover

Core Survival HEL-STAR 6 Gen III+

Wilcox G22

3M Peltor ComTac V on 3M ARC Adapter, with NoiseFighters Sightlines and Koffin Wurks Krypt

Princeton Tec Charge MPLS

Surefire M340V Scout Light Pro on Ops-Core Picatinny Rail Adapter

Ops-Core Counterweight

Elbit Gen 3 WP PVS-14 with Nightline Power Pack and Nocorium PVS-14 Digital Wrap, with a Cold Harbour Adjustable Diaphragm and Night Vision Incorporated Lens Protector on the front and rear lens respectively

NoiseFighters AX14-PRO

Crye Precision AirLite SPC Setup:

AXL Structural Shoulder Pads

Crye Precision Admin Pouch

Crye Precision AirLite Detachable Panel

AWS Universal Mag Pouch Panel (Discontinued) with Spiritus Systems Pangolin Flap

Crye Precision Custom Prototype MultiCam Urban Rubble Dangler

Crye Precision AirLite Configurable Radio Pouch

Disco32 Motorola 2 Pin PTT

×2 Crye Precision JPC Maritime 6×6 Side Plate Pouch

HSG Tourniquet MOLLE TACO Pouch

Blue Force Gear Micro Trauma Kit NOW! - Plus+

×2 Blue Force Gear Helium Whisper Pouch

MultiCam Tropic Crye Precision Magazine Pouch

Crye Precision Zip-On Pack Panel 2.0

AWS SMU Setup:

esstac Double Pistol KYWI

esstac 5.56 Single KYWI Midlength

Kinetic Consulting Dump Pouch

×2 Blue Force Gear Helium Whisper Smoke Grenade Pouch

Blue Force Gear Micro Trauma Kit NOW!

Blue Force Gear TQ Hammock

Blue Force Gear Boo Boo Pouch

G-Code XST Holster Left Hand

Plus an Avon C50 Gas Mask with VPU and its Crye GP pouch as a treat

[notfinancialadvice]

WordPress Shifts in industry news I am not a part of but enjoy gossiping about

I used to do a a lot of work using WordPress as a system. It's easy, cheap to build and maintain with, etc.

I do not anymore. This has nothing to do with WordPress. It was exclusively a "a few years ago I received the opportunity to bow out of the industry as a graphic designer in order to pursue a cocktail of art, fantasy, economy, and business"

I used to be a customer of Advanced Custom Fields. I am no longer, for the same reason as above, I am no longer a web developer. Their service was good to me and I enjoyed it tremendously while I had it.

I have therefore no stake in this game and thus no public opinion.

And yet I enjoy the drama of it all so here we are.

WordPress is forking.

Or maybe it isn't a fork.

The core, mesmerizing, (and I do not say this lightly) potentially civilization changing beauty of open source software is the ability to meet different, often diametrically opposing, priorities.

"Civilization-changing is kinda heavy language?"

via

No :)

A significant portion of the internet as we know it today is powered by WordPress. It has and will continue to shape the entire scope and scale of internet development for longer than anyone reading this will be alive -- for good and for ill.

WordPress was primarily a blogging system that could build websites as well. With the introduction of externally-based Advanced Custom Fields, it became a powerhouse web builder as well.

The short version: You could easily say "put this image / text / whatever here in the template."

It was a game changer to many smaller scale developers (hi) with a tiny staff. It allowed us (me + team) to grow much more powerful very quickly and very affordably.

Digging into the news further, there is / was chatter about pulling in the core functionality of ACF into WP's main system.

It brings an interesting point to the open source space.

And goes to my original points above.

If you make something open, how much control do you have over it? If you profit from it, how long can this last before it gets pulled into the core?

That is a risk as a developer -- you could potentially lose your business because it gets folded into the larger entity, but on the other hand, until that point, your reward was immediate accessibility to a market / system a million times larger than you, that you had previously no hand in building.

It is a tragedy of the commons.

I had long forgotten this phrase.

I'm familiar with the concept -- a public finite resource is at risk of overuse from all because it is available to all -- it largely joins with the core issue of economics itself -- how do you find balance with finite resources and infinite desires.

It is the nature of art on the internet.

Artists want to make art and it to be seen, they put it online. Audiences do not by nature owe them anything, the art is available to view for free, but without audience support, the art will stop or degrade in posting frequency.

More directly, to the WordPress sphere, what is the responsibility to the core system (thus other users)? What is the responsibility of the users to the core system?

Objectively speaking, building and maintaining a system like WordPress requires a lot of resources.

The open source nature allows for competing priorities to be served provided enough resources, because you can always say "I don't want to follow your path of ABC, I want to do BCD" and then do that.

The open source nature also allows you to say "I made a widget, it costs $100/year"

But the core can say "Hm. That would make our system stronger. Yoink. Now it's ours and is free."

Then you have a market race to push to build the better whatever.

I...

...do not have answers.

To any of this.

I am left realizing.

It feels like macroeconomics and personal economics grinding against each other in a way that is traditionally seen across countries (if not the world) and decades (if not centuries) -- but in this instance, it's a much smaller scale (kinda? WP powers a lot of the internet and influences a significant portion of what it doesn't power).

And weeks and months.

Instead of decades and centuries.

This is a fun piece of bone to chew on.

I freely admit it is fun exclusively because I am not involved. If I were, it would be fucking nerve wracking.

[personasintro]

Hi, Mimi!! just dropping by the app to catch up on your posts since I really miss MH and YOUU!! wow it’s been so long (a year and a half?!) since I sent you an ask/msg here! I just discovered that MH got deleted on WP that’s why it’s not on my reading list anymore and couldn’t find it on your acct either🥺 I’m so sorry that happened. I remember commenting and reacting so much everytime you dropped a new chapter. MH on WP was really a core memory for me! You and your stories helped me survive the covid19 era🥹🥺 I read the new chapters on AO3 after I saw the link and despite everything that had happened, your writing still amazes me! You’re still the best, TOP TIER! QUEEN!! 👑

Thank you so much for not giving up, for still writing stories that provide me so much comfort, for still making this app feel like home.

Just to let you know, like what i told you before, MH really encouraged me to work on my health i don’t know why but it just did. I lost weight and my pcos is still there but it’s not really a big issue anymore cause I’m feeling much better!!

I hope you’re doing well, too! I always wish and pray that you get all the great things in life because of everything that you do for us on this app and for helping us cope, being our therapist 🥹🤍

love you from the bottom of my heart, Mimi!

- Joey 🤍

Ahhh I wish you all the love and health bub!! Thank you so much for being so incredibly kind and loving 💓 it means everything to me!! 😭💓🫂

[artiewiles]

Take Our Inter School Credit for Fuck's Sake!

[WP] “…and that class is why Humans are considered the most peaceful species in the universe.” The only three humans in class looked at each other horrified. All the facts about humans that the aliens had were wrong. One student slowly raises their hand.

"Is this going to be on the test?" Claire asked.

"Of course, it will! But I expect you and your friends to have no issues. Don't worry."

Claire looked at Tom and David. They weren't her friends. They could barely stand each other and the group projects were literal nightmares. Nobody could imagine the Humans wouldn't want to work together so they always grouped the three of them. Always. It was for the “human perspective” or some other crap. 

"Dude, we're fucked," David whispered and this time, Claire agreed.

"I can't fail this one! I'm already in trouble. And there's no way I will remember all this bullshit," whispered Tom frantically. "You know how hard it was to memorize the history for the Human School? And now this! It will mess everything up!"

Tom was right. Claire liked the Human School they went to every "Saturday" but the history part was hard. And if they were to add this nonsense to the mix... There's no way she's messing her finals because of it! They got the dates wrong, the conflicts wrong, the resolutions wrong...

She's not learning all of that just for one stupid test! She looked at Tom and David. They looked at her. And at that moment, an alliance was forged. As the ancient saying goes, the enemy of my enemy is my friend.

She slowly raised her hand again. "Will you accept our credits and scores from our Human School? This way we could use everybody's time more efficiently. There's no need to waste academic resources. Maybe we could work on our final project instead?" she offered in her best I-love-school tone.

"Nonsense," mandibles clicked. "It will be quick and easy for you three and you know well enough we don't accept inter school credits."

"The creaky old bug doesn't accept credits," Tom grumbled. "Everyone else does."

Claire hid her smile. He was right. The creaky old bug was the worst.

This time, David raised his hand.

"Yes, David?"

"What if our knowledge is more complex and therefore -"

Therefore? He's using the big words. Count her impressed.

"- our answers would be more complex and seemingly contradictory to what you taught today?"

Mandibles clicked in frustration. "What do you mean? How could your answers be contradictory and complex? Explain."

"Well," David scratched his head, "the reality was far more troubling? It's understandable that it could cause the softer species a high amount of distress so it's omitted in the lectures..."

Tom nodded and followed that up with: "But our species prides itself for learning about past mistakes. And it seems wrong to omit that for the sake of the test."

"Again," Claire joined them, "we understand why it's not discussed in a class. But as responsible Humans we simply have to uphold our species traditions and rites. Learning about one's history is the core of our culture and learning the simplified and sugar-coated version is a direct jeopardization of our culture."

"Exactly," Tom agreed. "It's the highest offense we could do to our ancestors."

"And I'm not saying we would be shunned..." continued David with the heavy implications, they would, indeed, be shunned. Then he sighed. "It wouldn't be pretty."

Their teacher turned ugly shade of purple. "Jeopardization of your culture? My apologies. Of course, that was not my intention."

Claire bit her lip to keep a straight face. Everyone tries so hard not to offend any species and their culture. Sometimes it's a pain in the ass but at least it's useful now. "We understand that. I'm sure it wasn't. But can you see how troubling this would be for us?"

"Can you give me an example of one of those discrepancies?"

They shared a look. David had this glint in the eyes she usually hated. It meant trouble. But this time... 

She nodded her head a little.

Tom smiled at him. "You go, buddy. You got thousands credits on the history last year."

He shrugged. "Okay. So..."

Claire shifted in her seat. David was well known for his... Fondness of the conflicts and the war strategies. What era is he going to pick?

She would pick the witch hunts. They weren't competing for the best woman in the village as the professor led the class believe. It wasn't some weird Miss Witch competition for the Earth-God sake!

"So, you know how you talked about the global Earth program for better health and species improvement? People being sent to camps for better concentration performance?"

Oh no. He's not going there! She was aware her mouth was wide open, but the balls of him! Maybe this was too much. This was… Well, at least it’s gonna be interesting.

"Those camps weren't nice? And the whole global initiative wasn't nice?" David continued sheepishly.

"What do you mean?" asked their teacher.

"It was more like a war and species reduction camps?"

Mandibles clicked. "I'm not sure I follow."

"It's called Second World War for a reason," Tom quipped.

"Second World War?" wave of whispers raised in the class. 

"Did he said second?”

“War of World?”

“Like the entire planet?”

“Isn’t that a class Four planet?"

"Many people died," said Claire. She for sure didn't remember how many. It was some insane number she forgot right after the test. Some million something.

"Impossible!" clicked the teacher. "I wouldn't stand such jokes in my class. You're having a detention."

They shared a look. Hell they are.

Claire stood up and raised her voice to be heard over the ruckus. "The concentration camps didn't improve mental performance! People were systematically killed there or starved to death."

"And used as ingredients for daily use objects. Like a soap," Tom added and stood as well.

David slowly rised. He shot the teacher a firm glance. "Our history is bloody, violent, and disturbing. We massacred each other and only in the face of the worst crimes and devastation did we finally started working together to reach peace.” His tone was cold and menacing. 

The class quieted and the faces of their classmates grow more alarmed with every sentence. 

He continued gravely: “We choose peace everytime we can because we remember the horrors. We always choose peace and treaties because we know the depths of violence we are able to reach. We choose to be peaceful because we value life and know very well how fragile it is. Do not deny us our past for we need it to remain better than our ancestors. We know who we are and we won't let you spit on the billions of dead. Only thanks to them we are where we are as a species. Do not stomp on our dead.”

Someone's digital pen clattered to the floor.

“Now, teacher Fixhurati, what do you think about our previous offer?"

The teacher was slightly yellow around it’s many edges. "Yes. You can work on your final project. Class dismissed."

Several students jumped and rushed out of the classroom. Probably to take care of some of their bodily functions. The teacher was way ahead of them.

"Dude, did you really whipped out Terminator 15 monologue?" Tom asked.

David smirked. "I always wanted to do it. And you can’t say it didn’t fit."

"I can't believe it worked," Claire muttered. "Everyone knows Terminator 15. It's classic. How did nobody here recognize it?"

"They're puppies," muttered David darkly in the Terminator imitation. "Soft."

He hold the badass expression for two whole seconds before he burst out laughing.

"I'm glad it worked, man." Tom clapped him on the back. "And hey," Tom looked at Claire, "aren't we already done with the project?"

"Yeah," she shrugged. “They are going to cover this crap for the rest of the semester. Free period is always nice."

The boys exchanged glances. "You've got a point."

"Anyway," Claire said and took her backpack. "Bye." And with that she was on her way to get a cup of goofe before her Xiorish class.

"She's still super annoying," she heard Tom mutter behind her back.

She just raised her hand with a nice pointy middle finger. That everyone still believed to be a peace gesture. Man, she loves being Human.

________

Slightly improved version of the writing prompt I did on Reddit. Link to the original here.

This version also on AO3.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

This day in history

NEXT WEEKEND (June 7–9), I'm in AMHERST, NEW YORK to keynote the 25th Annual Media Ecology Association Convention and accept the Neil Postman Award for Career Achievement in Public Intellectual Activity.

#15yrsago D&D-style map of C++ https://alenacpp.blogspot.com/2009/06/c.html

#15yrsago Passive-aggressive umbrella-cops foil Tiananmen reportage https://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/8082604.stm

#15yrsago Heartbroken cereal litigant loses suit over non-existence of “Crunchberries” https://www.loweringthebar.net/2009/06/reasonable-consumer-would-know-crunchberries-are-not-real-judge-rules.html

#15yrsago DC’s buried, secret government wires patrolled by rapid-response goon-squad https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/05/30/AR2009053002114.html

#15yrsago Visualizing how a dirty Congresscritter turned campaign contributions into earmarks https://web.archive.org/web/20090606211116/http://blog.sunlightfoundation.com/2009/06/04/vis-a-visclosky-or-how-i-learned-to-take-campaign-contributions-and-turn-them-into-earmarks/

#15yrsago TOSBack: EFF’s real-time tracker for changes in terms of service on popular Internet sites https://www.eff.org/press/archives/2009/06/03-0

#10yrsago Colbert viewers learned more about super PACs than news-junkies https://www.annenbergpublicpolicycenter.org/stephen-colberts-civics-lesson-or-how-a-tv-humorist-taught-america-about-campaign-finance/

#10yrsago FCC’s website crashes, John Oliver’s army of Cable Company Fuckery trolls blamed https://yro.slashdot.org/story/14/06/03/2259240/fcc-website-hobbled-by-comment-trolls-incited-by-comedian-john-oliver

#10yrsago Secret service developing a sarcasm detector. Oh great. https://web.archive.org/web/20140604004533/https://www.fbo.gov/?s=opportunity&mode=form&id=8aaf9a50dd4558899b0df22abc31d30e&tab=core&_cview=0 #10yrsago Five dumb things that NSA apologists should really stop saying https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2014/06/top-5-claims-defenders-nsa-have-stop-making-remain-credible

#5yrsago Empirical analysis of behavioral advertising finds that surveillance makes ads only 4% more profitable for media companies https://memex.craphound.com/2019/06/04/empirical-analysis-of-behavioral-advertising-finds-that-surveillance-makes-ads-only-4-more-profitable-for-media-companies/

#5yrsago European legal official OKs orders that force Facebook to globally remove insults to politicians like “oaf” and “fascist” (as well as synonyms) https://memex.craphound.com/2019/06/04/european-legal-official-oks-orders-that-force-facebook-to-globally-remove-insults-to-politicians-like-oaf-and-fascist-as-well-as-synonyms/

#5yrsago The New York Privacy Act goes even farther than California’s privacy legislation https://www.wired.com/story/new-york-privacy-act-bolder/

#5yrsago Joe Biden repeatedly claimed to have marched for civil rights. He didn’t. https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/03/us/politics/biden-1988-presidential-campaign.html

#5yrsago Why is there so much antitrust energy for Big Tech but not for Big Telco? https://memex.craphound.com/2019/06/04/why-is-there-so-much-antitrust-energy-for-big-tech-but-not-for-big-telco/

#5yrsago Magic for Liars: Sarah Gailey’s debut is a brilliant whodunnit in the vein of The Magicians https://memex.craphound.com/2019/06/04/magic-for-liars-sarah-gaileys-debut-is-a-brilliant-whodunnit-in-the-vein-of-the-magicians/

#1yrago Ayyyyyy Eyeeeee https://pluralistic.net/2023/06/04/ayyyyyy-eyeeeee/