HP canon debater & canon fanfics writer
I am going to be off tumblr until October 1st! Absolutely feel free to send asks or whatever just don’t expect a reply any time soon <3
I am in my 30s, genderfluid - she/they - Scandinavian, but live in the UK, relatively new to Tumblr and a long COVIDer/POTSer!
On this blog, I am a canon-compliant Marauder fanfic writer - who likes to discuss the canon - and I am currently working on a long fic from 1971-1981 called: When we were up to no good.
More about my ambition below, but long story short - I just want a LONG fic that's not Wolfstar, that's a faithful interpretation of the canon, and which tbh isn't overly about sex or the usual fanon stuff. It's just four great friends; an 'enemies-to-lovers' love story; a war and a betrayal.
I mostly ship canon (especially Hinny, Romione, Jily) because I am boring, but I adore Prongsfoot and Sebinis, and I’m not anti most non-canon ships if they are true to their canon characterisation.
I will argue and discuss the canon with anyone who's interested. If you don't care about the canon, fine, but you and I probably won't enjoy each other's posts very much.
I don’t support JKR’s views (Read: I AM EXTREMELY ANTI HER VIEWS). I regularly question whether I should just abandon the fandom because of her (I have stayed away in the past), but then again, I discovered a lot about my own gender fluidity through the fandom, so it’s all very complicated.
I started writing When we were up to no good because I wanted to write a story where:
Sirius and James are best friends, inseparable and extremely talented
Remus and James have a solid friendship; not just Remus and Sirius
While Sirius and Peter take a bit of time to become close, Sirius ends up closer to Peter than Remus (at the latest) by the later stages of the war.
Peter is very much part of the Marauders, and there’s nothing obvious (to Sirius and James) to suggest he does a 180. Nevertheless, as readers who know what happens, we can see the small stuff that lays the foundation for the betrayal
James and Sirius are bullies! This isn’t a story trying to ignore their bad sides
Remus’ personality is affected by his lycanthropy - he has three great friends and that’s it: James, Sirius and Peter. He does not stand up to his friends (much) as he cannot afford to lose them
Lily struggles to adjust to the wizarding world given her blood status and she struggles with her friendship with Snape. She loves him so much but she’s not blind to his friends and the path he’s being led down
James and Lily have arcs that both make us understand why she disliked James so much, but also understand how the two are rather similar in their own way. The relationship, when it happens, should feel solid and lasting.
James does not go around declaring his love for Lily at every opportunity. It doesn’t fit with the canon
Not every OOTP member are in the same year as the Marauders. In my story, Marlene is 10 years older (and Molly’s best friend), Frank and Gideon are 6 years older; Alice and Fabian are 5 years older; and Dorcas is long gone from school etc.
Frank and Alice starts dating after Hogwarts (not everyone has to start dating at school)
There's lots of (hopefully canon-compliant) plot and character development. And it’s a long story! I want to make justice to their story and not rush it (but I don't want it to feel dragged out)
There is as much fun and fluff and comfort and hurt as I can get away with while feeling I can call it canon-compliant
There are plenty of Easter eggs and things we know happened in the canon, such as: Bertha Jorkins as a source of Hogwarts gossip; the Whomping Willow becoming off-limit, the newly built abandoned Hogsmeade house slowly becoming known as the Shrieking Shack, Mundungus Fletcher finding himself banned from the Hogs Head ca 1975; the 1974 World Cup and more.
That’s the ambition. I’m not by any means an experienced writer and I’m learning as I go. If this is something that interests you, then cool! Absolutely engage as much or little as you’d like with the story! I love geeking out over canon and writing!
I post extracts on here quite often! You might call it self-promotion - I call it oversharing - something I do in all aspects of my life! 😂
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So you're a go to source for all things Dick&Tim bros and you tend to write primarily from Dick's POV. So, odd question, but if you were to summarize their relationship from his POV in FIVE panels which panels would you pick? Keeping in mind that one specific aspect of their relationship that you love needs to be clearly represented by each panel (loyalty, trust etc). I hope this is a fun challenge and not an annoying question so if you don't want to answer that's cool! Have a wonderful day!
No more talk. The same thoughts run through two minds... (SotB 29) / You're my equal. My closest ally. (RR 1) / I can't stop thinking how much I rely on him. (GoG 3)
25 Feelings Dick Has About Tim
This was such a kind ask & a cool challenge which I totally failed; here are TWENTY-five panels of Dick's POV on Tim sdfdsfds Look, I got carried away! Marcia and Cindy! The boys!!
OKAY SO BEFORE I GET TO THE PANELS A FEW NOTES:
WARNING THAT THERE ARE SOME NEGATIVE EMOTIONS IN HERE because I love conflict but but but you gotta remember those are not the final word!! They are complicated people and sometimes they get mad at each other BUT ultimately their relationship is so hugely important in both their lives & they love each other and rely on each other so much -!!! <3
Also I have CONCLUDING THOUGHTS at the end about what Dick's POV leaves out (mostly: a lot of Dick defending & protecting & supporting Tim, which Dick does instinctively but isn't very self-aware about most of the time)
I have loosely organized my list into 5^5 format (5 categories with 5 examples each!), so if you want to skip to a relevant one, here are the categories!!
Below the cut:
I hate him and find him infuriating (#1-5)
On second thought, he's endearing & fun (#6-10)
Grief is complicated & he's all tangled up in mine (#11-15)
I love him & think highly of him (#16-20)
I rely on him & though it's hard for me, I trust him (#21-25)
I hate him and find him infuriating (#1 - 5)
1) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze me and Bruce, but he doesn’t know me at all, he should get lost (New Titans 61)
2) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze Bruce but he doesn’t know Bruce at all, he should get lost (Gotham Knights 26)
3) He is so nosy about stuff that is MY business (Robin 0)
4) He sounds like an insincere suck-up half the time... but okay, fine, if you push him he's got a sense of humor about it (New Titans 65)
5) I'm sure he's a better vigilante than me. It's my fault for being a failure, but I resent him anyway. (Nightwing 9 - Dick's having a nightmare)
On second thought, he's kinda endearing (#6-10)
6) He worries too much and gets anxious so easily, but it makes him fun to tease (Robin 67)
7) I'm not that competitive - okay, so maybe I'm a little competitive, I gotta make sure he doesn't get a swelled head (Prodigal)
8) I'm supposed to be his favorite! It is not cool for him to be fanboying over my not-girlfriend's not-boyfriend!! (Birds of Prey 19)
9) We have fun together. I can kick back and relax when it's just the two of us. Plus I get to boss him around a bit. (Prodigal)
10) He’s always trying to reassure me, and I guess it's a little comforting, but also he doesn’t really get it. Or me. He makes excuses that he shouldn't, because he doesn't understand that I suck. (Nightwing 64)
Grief is complicated and he's all tangled up in mine (#11 - 15)
11) He reminds me of everything I try not to think about. Sometimes the memories are so strong it hurts to look at him. (Batman 441)
12) WHY IS HE BEING IMPOSSIBLE ALL OF A SUDDEN??? THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING (Nightwing 139)
13) We're the same. He says all the things I don't let myself think about. It's like arguing with myself. (Nightwing 139)
14) He thinks he gets to tell me what to do but he doesn’t, fuck him (Battle for the Cowl)
15) Life sucks, so what. I sucked it up so he should too (RR 1)
I love him and think highly of him (#16 - 20)
16) He’s the closest thing to a brother I’ll ever have. If someone hurts him I will hurt them harder. (Nightwing 6)
17) I can't handle the idea of losing him. (Nightwing 97)
17) He’s so good and I’m not. I'm afraid I’m bad for him. (Nightwing 110)
18) He’s better than me, and it’s kind of a relief because I know no matter what he’ll be okay. (Gates of Gotham 3)
19) In my head he’s the responsible one. (Gotham Knights 10)
I rely on him, and though it's hard for me, I trust him (#20-25)
20) I know I have to trust him but I'm afraid he'll make the wrong choices and get hurt (Nightwing 139)
21) I'm sure I know what he should do because I see myself in him - not that I can take my own advice, but he should (Blackest Night 3)
22) I trust him. When I’m losing my grip on things, he pulls me back. (Gotham Knights 10)
23) I want him to trust me (Red Robin 12)
24) He can tell when I'm lying. Sometimes he sees my weaknesses better than I wish he did. (Detective Comics 874)
25) He’s always there when I need him. (Teen Titans / Outsiders Secret Files)
Final rambling thoughts:
TIM: Uhh, okay, so I'm just skimming this list - do you really trust me? you're not just saying that? - but anyway, I'm confused because you left some stuff out? Like some stuff that's kinda important?
DICK: No? I think I got everything?
TIM (starts counting on his fingers): The time I was having a bad day but then I called you. The time I got captured by Two-Face but then you saved me. The time I fell off a train but then you saved me. The time I fell off a building but then you saved me. The time I fell off a different building -
DICK: I feel like you're trying to make some kind of point but I'm not sure what it could be.
SO THE THING IS, I put 25 panels in here and not a single one has Dick catching Tim when he’s falling!!! But I think that's a central motif of their relationship from Tim’s POV, not Dick’s. I love Dick, but in some ways I think he is spectacularly un-self-aware.
And I think he especially has a lot of blind spots about Tim. He kinda intermittently gets that Tim admires him, and he enjoys it in a playful I-get-to-boss-you-around way. But Dick tends to consistently underestimate all of his own good qualities & skills, and he meets Tim at a point in his life when he's especially down on himself & his abilities. And so he's unable to see his own influence on Tim, & therefore unable to fully understand a lot of Tim's priorities and loyalties and motivations, because you can't actually understand Tim without understanding Dick's impact on him. There's a fascinating moment in Bruce Wayne: Murderer when Dick's completely blindsided & upset to discover that Tim doesn't entirely trust Bruce, even though this has been a definitive fact of Tim's whole thing ever since he showed up with his Batman needs Robin theory, and Barbara has to actively remind Dick of the obvious-to-everyone-except-Dick fact that a lot of Tim's loyalty is to Dick, and Tim loves Bruce but feels free to be more wary of him. (And to give Bruce credit: this is not something he ever begrudges.) But anyway Babs points this out, and Dick manages to sorta process it for about five seconds, but he cannot actually accept it into his worldview so instead he discards it at the speed of light and goes off and has an argument with Tim instead sdfsfdsf
All of Dick's virtues - Dick's kindness at the circus and Dick's determination to fight through grief and Dick's rigid sense of morals and Dick's vigilante skills and every time Dick has ever backed Tim up or listened to him or protected him or saved him from something or just been casually kind to a stranger in Tim's presence etc etc etc - all these things loom really large in Tim's mental story of Who Dick Is, and What Dick And Tim's Relationship Is. Tim meets Dick before he meets Bruce, trusts Dick more than Bruce, aspires to be Robin instead of Batman. And so in Tim's default version of the story, Dick is the super-special and admirable hero and Tim is... nobody in particular, a tagalong outsider who's barely managing to be a hero, not part of Dick and Bruce's family and not part of their story, who, if he's VERY LUCKY and tries REALLY HARD, might be able to fight his way to proving himself and offering something to Dick that Dick will value, if Dick doesn't get fed up with him first.
But that's not Dick's version of the story!!!
Dick's version of the story is almost the exact opposite, a story where Dick's an outcast failure black sheep who's screwing up everything he tries, and meanwhile Tim is The Sudden New Perfect Robin Who's Better Than Me And Probably Bruce Loves Him More And Probably They Gossip About What A Loser I Am, mixed with a complicated edge of Tim Thinks He's So Smart But He Doesn't Know Me/Us At All. Dick gets much more attached to Tim over time, and Tim gets unnervingly better at the know-it-all psychoanalysis so then Dick gets to have complicated feelings about him being right instead of just annoyance at him for being wrong, plus Dick's relationship with Bruce improves a lot, so Tim stops feeling so threatening. But Dick never fundamentally changes his basic theory of their relationship in which Tim is highly impressive and capable, and Dick is not so much.
And so asking Dick about Tim is kinda like if you asked George Bailey to tell you about Harry Bailey in It's A Wonderful Life; like, you'll be there for five hours while he tells you how great Harry is, and how accomplished Harry is, and how he doesn't really get how or why Harry does the things he does, and maybe George does feel a little resentful or jealous sometimes, but that pales in comparison to all his admiration and trust for Harry who he loves so much, who's better than him in so many ways, and he's not gonna openly gripe but secretly he can't help but feel sometimes like he's such a failure in comparison to Harry, a perfect person who emerged fully formed from Zeus's head with all the virtues and also all the accomplishments, etc. etc. etc. --
-- and he will not actually remember the part where he changed and saved Harry's whole entire life unless you literally send him to an alternate timeline in order to force him to remember it. <3
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When we were up to no good - she didn’t send a howler
...
The grey owl nibbled Potter affectionately and took off. Potter turned his attention to his letter. Remus noticed it seemed to be a rather long one.
Quickly, Remus pocketed his own letter. The Barn owl ruffled its feathers and took off.
'Are you not going to read it?' Black asked, curiously. Remus mentally berated himself. He had seen Black opening his own letter, and had hoped that neither Black nor Potter would notice that Remus wasn't prepared to read his.
Remus had recognised the handwriting on the envelope as his mother's, and unsure what she would - and wouldn't - put in a letter, he had decided it was safer to view it in private.
'I... erm... she tends to write rather long letters, I thought... I'd read it later,' he said lamely.
'Wise choice,' Potter said, folding his own letter. 'There's no way I am getting through all of this now. I mean, it's great to know that they miss me, but I knew that already. Mum doesn't have to go on and on about it for pages at the time.'
'Well, my mother seems to think a couple of lines will do,' Black said, grimly. He held out the note for both Remus and Potter to see. The handwriting was an elegant one, but that didn't quite make up for the content.
I hereby confirm receipt of your letter from September 1st.
Be advised that you are expected for Christmas.
'Well, she didn't send a Howler,' James said.
---
Ch 3 - Still their first morning at school. Extract. Sadly Peter is off crying after James and Sirius were pretty nasty to him... Anyways, our three heroes receive letters from home. Sirius had deliberately written a rather provocative letter home, but to no avail. But I suppose it could have been worse!
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