#White Xmas Lies

[magicianrabbidsupremacy]

"Teeth All Yellow"

[her-favorite]

MERRY CHRISTMAS; C. MONAGHAN

CAMERON MONAGHAN X F!READER

WARNINGS: not proofread/edited! but other than that, none!

WC: 1261 - (very) short but sweet!

A/N: i had so many ideas in mind for an xmas fic (for cam, jerome and even jeremiah 😭) but i procrastinated for too long and now it’s 12:30 am on christmas as i write this so that’s another reason why it’s so short 😭 im sorryy 🫶🏻

SUMMARY: Decorating cookies with Cam while it snows outside <3

-

It was tradition to bake cookies with Cameron every year. It was also tradition for Cameron to burn himself while taking them out of the oven..

“Ow! Fuck!” A yell was heard from the kitchen and finally, you knew better than to spring up and rush over to the man and ask what was wrong. Apparently he took that tradition very seriously.

“Cam, are you serious?” You sigh as you make your way into the kitchen area, your socks padding against the floor of your shared home. Once you got close enough to him, you took his hand in yours to inspect the injury, only to be met with his normal pale skin.

“I had to, baby.” He chuckles and kisses your head, taking in your surprised reaction, only amplifying his laughter. When you snap out of your daze, you try to hold back a smile as you playfully slap him on the shoulder. You fail as a wide smile takes over your face once your boyfriend’s laugh reverberates through the kitchen.

“Shut up, get the cookies.” Cameron sees right through your fake agitation as the smile is as big as ever on your beautiful face. With another chuckle escaping his lips, he obeys and grabs the pan, walking into the dining room and placing it down. You join him as you brought frosting with you, putting it beside the cookies, a few food colorings in your palm so you could dye the white sugary treat.

You both take a seat and grab a cookie each, scooping up some frosting on a butter knife as soft songs play through the tiny speaker you own. The lighting was dim as it grew darker outside, small white specs flying past the windows. The snow began to stick as it gathered on top of each other. The perfect kind to make a snowman with. Or a snowball fight..

“Sweetheart,” you looked over at the man in front of you as his soft voice broke you out of your trance. “Open,” you oblige, parting your lips and letting him offer the cookie to you, biting off the top half of a christmas tree, green frosting residing on your lip. The smile on Cameron’s face made you melt as he watched you, those beautiful smile lines coming to light.

He takes away the other half and eats the rest, dusting off his hands from the crumbs. The wind seemed to have picked up from outside as the sharp sound of it blowing every which way, invaded the house. When Cameron looked back at you, he couldn’t stifle a giggle.

“You got somethin’,” he mimics wiping something off of his top lip with a smile on his face. You immediately try to wipe - what you assumed to be - frosting off of your face, but Cameron looked more amused by the fact you couldn’t find it. “Let me get it.” He mutters and leans forward, suddenly pressing his lips to yours, licking over the dyed frosting. It left a sugary taste in his mouth and it only added to his love of kissing you.

“All good.” He smiles teasingly as he leans back in his seat, subconsciously licking his lips. Your eyes never leave his for a moment, until you (once again) snap out of it and look down at the cookie that you had abandoned with a warm face. A quiet, soft chuckle was heard in front of you from your boyfriend, only adding to the flushed feeling.

Songs play and end and repeat as minutes go by, the wind getting faster and the snow getting heavier. You hadn't stepped foot outside since this morning- when you quickly ran to grab flour for the cookies you both were making- but you were a hundred percent sure that it was freezing outside. The snow began to clump on the frozen grass, the green strands slowly being coveted by the white ice.

Your christmas tree was up, warm lights illuminating the dim room. The soft carols that sounded from the radio soothes you both as you decorated the cookies, occasionally eating or two (Cam's excuse always being, "it didn't look right.. and it couldn't go to waste!"). His enthusiasm for the delicious treat always made you happy, knowing that just the one tradition during the christmas season can have that sort of affect on him. He would always boast about how he was lucky he got to spend it with you as well.

By the time you both finish the cookies, it was pitch black outside; with the exception of the bright snow that littered the ground. You had put the treats away for tomorrow as Cameron helped you clean up, placing the dirty utensils and pan into the sink.

As you finish washing the dried, sticky frosting from your hands, you feel strong arms wrap around your waist. The slight weight of his head on your shoulder barely registered as you were more than used to the position that you both were in.

"Merry Christmas, baby." Cameron whispers in your ear, the smile on his face being heard through his words. Your eyes widen slightly at his sentence, taking a quick glance over at the clock that was in the kitchen, reading: 12:04 (am) on the hands. You look through the window in front of you as Cameron holds you gently against him, rocking you both slightly. The snow falls perfectly before you, your eyes never landing on just one snowflake as they pass by.

A white christmas; something everyone that celebrates christmas wishes for. It was comforting and nostalgic and it made a warm smile spread across your face as you lean back against your lover. His thumb rubs back and forth gently against your skin, sneaking between the end of your shirt and the very beginning of your pants.

"Merry Christmas, Cam."

-

The fire crackled and popped, the bright light shining throughout the entire room.

You and Cameron were lying in the living room together, the christmas tree in the corner, some presents underneath and the fireplace burning. It was around one in the morning and you've both yet to fall asleep. You had originally sat out here because you and Cam were watching christmas movies together, basking in the nostalgic and calming feeling. The two of you lied with each other, your head on his bare chest as you listened carefully to his soothing heartbeat. Cameron's arms were wrapped around you tight, securing your spot on him and not letting you get away. As your head rested near the crook of his neck, his lips lied against you, eyes fluttering shut occasionally.

The snow had never let up, not that either of you were bothered by it. When Cameron had woken up at one point, his eyes were met with you sleeping on his chest. Though he sees the sight more often than not, it never fails to make him smile and feel giddy inside. He found so much comfort in you and he couldn't be more grateful to have you in his life; his girl.

He reached over to click the TV off, the lights from the tree illuminating the area. The aura was comforting and it quickly lulled Cameron back to sleep, but not without a kiss to your forehead and a sweet whisper, "Merry Christmas, Y/N." His hand softly moves through your hair, careful not to wake you. "I love you."

As the light on the christmas tree never wavers, neither does the love you both have for each other.

[holylulusworld]

Burned Cookies

Title: Burned Cookies

Summary: You and Bucky are more than neighbors now.

Pairing: Tfatws!Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Square U2 filled for @buckybarnesbingo​ : Exaggeration / White Lies

Square 1 filled for @sebastianstanbingo​: Moving in together

Square 13 filled for @holylulusworld​ xmas bingo: Free Space  - Christmas Cookies

Warnings:  Christmas fluff, moving in together, nightmares, comforting, falling in love

Words: 1,4 k

Finally the sequel to Burned muffins

Sebastian Stan Bingo masterlist

BBB BuckyBarnesBingo 2022 masterlist

Lulu’s Multi-Fandom X-Mas Bingo

“No! I-“ Bucky jolts up on the mattress he placed on the ground. He’s used to sleeping on the ground. For ages, Bucky didn’t have a warm and comfortable bed. He slept on the ground if he even was allowed to rest.

“Bucky?” he exhales a shuddery breath as you knock at his door. “I’m coming in, okay. Don’t shoot me.” You open the door with the key he gave to you weeks ago.

“Doll, hey,” he cracks a smile as you hurriedly make your way toward the mattress. “You didn’t have to come over. I’m good.” Bucky tries to lie.

It’s not that he doesn’t want you near him. He just needs you to believe he’s not the broken man he is. A little white lie won’t hurt anyone. Right.

“No, you’re not,” you tut, immediately checking on his pulse. “Your heart is racing, you’re sweating, and you are sleeping on the ground.”

“I’m used to no comfort.”

You choke out a sob. “Bucky, you are not the soldier any longer. You are allowed to have a little comfort and to sleep on a bed.”

“The mattress is fine, Y/N. You should go back to bed and sleep,” he whispers. “You need to go to work in a few hours.” Bucky tries to convince you to leave him be to fight his battle like he used to. Alone.

“I got the next few days off,” you tut. “Now, get up, and come with me.” You get back on your feet and hold out your hand. “Don’t make me wait.”

“You’re persistent,” he laughs now, already feeling a little better. “Give me a minute. I should have a shower and put some clothes on.”

“I don’t mind a half-naked Bucky Barnes in my home,” you grin, but your cheeks heat up. “Get some clothes and follow me. You can have a shower at my place.”

“You really want me in your home, huh?”

“I’ll leave the door open for you,” you look down at Bucky. “How about a hot cocoa and some muffins? I got leftovers from my friend’s baby shower.”

“Doll, I,” he sighs. Bucky wants to stay at his place and fight the demons haunting his dreams, but he knows you’ll not give up, “I’ll be right there. Give me a few minutes.”

When Bucky enters your apartment it smells like chocolate, hot cocoa, and you.

He smiles as his eyes land on the mug you placed on the coffee table, in front of his favorite spot on your couch.

“Hot cocoa is ready, Bucky. I’ll have a muffin for you in a minute,” you coo as Bucky plops down onto your sofa, making it creak. “Here, my I made them with chocolate and love.”

“I know you did,” he says as you sit next to him to put your head on his shoulder. “How was your day, doll.”

“It was nice. My new colleague is kind and invited me for coffee. Jenna’s baby shower was nice too.”

“Y/N, thank you,” Bucky takes the muffin to wolf it down. “I love your food. It tastes like heaven,” he chews audibly. “I don’t remember eating anything better than your food.”

“Bucky?”

“Hmm…yeah?” he takes the mug to take a large swig of the warm cocoa. “Your cocoa tastes so good. It reminds me of my mom. She always made me some when I was sad.”

“Bucky?”

“What is it, doll?”

“You shouldn’t sleep on the ground. And you need to eat better than you do. You’re a free and rehabilitated man now. A hero. Stop treating yourself like they did,” you place your hand on his thigh. “Start with getting a bed.”

“I don’t need a bed. I’m good…really.”

“Fine. Then you’ll sleep at my place from now on,” he chokes on the cocoa. “I got a big and comfy bed. Enough space for the both of us, and so many pillows and blankets.”

“What? I-“

“Eat up, and drink your hot cocoa. I’ll lock the door, and then we are going to sleep.”

“Doll?”

Bucky watches you get up from the couch. You press a soft kiss to his temple and sigh. “No talking back, Bucky. You will sleep here or buy a bed. Your choice.”

“Left or right, Bucky?” you point at the bed.

Bucky enters your bedroom. He looks around, checking it out. He hums and walks around a little before looking at the bed again.

“You’re looking for the best spot to attack an intruder, right?” you smirk. “See, I’m learning.”

“I’ll go for right. I can attack anyone entering your bedroom and protect you best,” he nods to himself.

“Alright. You can have the right side, Bucky. It’s all yours. But,” you give him a pointed look, “you are not going to steal my blanket.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Bucky grins as you kick off your slippers. “Did you lock the door?”

“I did, Sergeant Barnes,” you shoot Bucky a wink before you finally lay down on your bed to get some sleep. “Let’s get some sleep.”

“Alright, alright,” Bucky strips off his clothes, only leaving his boxer briefs and shirt on. He watches you snuggle in your pillow as he lies next to you. “Goodnight, doll.”

“Goodnight, Bucky.”

You feel warm when you wake; too warm. “Doll,” Bucky mutters behind you. He’s still fast asleep as you slowly wake from your slumber.

“Bucky.”

You smile as he must’ve wrapped his arms around your body in his sleep. Now he’s pressed up against you, holding you gently in his arms.

“Doll…Y/N.”

He mutters in his sleep.

You close your eyes again, willing yourself to not fall asleep again. If you want anything, it’s to feel his warmth surround you for a little longer.

Until now, Bucky and you didn’t cross that line yet. It’s not that you didn’t give him hint here and there. Bucky is just too scared to lose you.

His friend. His shelter. His doll.

“Doll,” he wiggles behind you, slowly waking up. “Morning, Y/N.”

“Morning, Bucky,” you hold your breath when he presses a soft kiss to your neck. “Did sleep well?”

“I slept very well,” he husks in your ear. His voice is still a little rough from his sleep as he whispers your name.

“If you want to, you can sleep here every night and,” you clear your throat, “you can come over every day.”

“I can use the key you gave me,” Bucky says. “Maybe we can spend the weekend together. I got to help Sam with something today, but I’m off duty for the next few days. If I get lucky.”

“It’s a date, Mr. Barnes,” you giggle as he peppers soft kisses all over your neck.

“It’s a date, doll…”

“No…wait…” you giggle as Bucky attacks once again. He pushes you onto the couch to tickle your sides. “No…I’m ticklish…ah…no! That’s not fair.”

“Aw, doll. You are going to laugh a little more,” he smirks as you push against his shoulders. He’s so strong, and you can’t fight him. “If you admit that I’m the best tickler, I’ll let you go.”

“Y-ou,” he laughs as you squeak and whimper, “you are the best tickler, Bucky.”

“Good,” he stops tickling you for a moment. He hums and crawls on top of you to press a soft kiss to your lips. “Now, tell me what you want.”

He looks down at you. Waiting.

“I want you to move in with me, Bucky. You are at my place when you are at home. We share my bed and everything else. I don’t want you to sleep on that mattress again.”

“What else do you want?” he runs the tip of his nose along your neck, making you moan. “Doll, say it.”

“I want you,” you grip his muscular arms tightly. “I want…” you want to look away, but Bucky presses his lips to yours. “I want you and me to be more than friends.”

He pecks your lips. “Doll, I decided the moment you offered food to me that I’m going to make you my girl…”

You smile. “I was your girl the moment we met, Bucky.”

“I knew it,” he sniffs. His brows furrow as something else than your scent and perfume fill his nostrils. “Doll, fuck.”

“OH NO! We forgot the cookies!” You cry.

“Shit,” Bucky moves faster than you can blink. He runs toward the kitchen, cursing as you slowly get up to follow him on wobbling legs. “Burned…all of them.”

He sighs.

“Don’t worry,” you wrap your arms around him from behind, “we can make more. Let’s throw these away and, tomorrow, we bake new Christmas cookies…”

Part 3 >> Burned Pancakes

Tags in reblog.

[lambtotheslaughterr]

Awake

A Rafe Cameron Mini Series

PART FIVE

[THIS STORY WILL CONTAIN THEMES OF NON-CON/DUB-CON, MENTAL-EMOTIONAL-PHYSICAL ABUSE, ETC. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. 18+. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT]

WC: 6.1k

Dividers provided by @firefly-graphics

PART FOUR | SERIES MASTERLIST | PART SIX

[THIS SERIES WILL CONTAIN INACCURATE MEDICAL CONDITIONS. I HAVE CERTAINLY MADE THIS DISEASE UP & DO NOT CLAIM ANY OF IT TO BE ACCURATE. PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION. 18+. MINORS DNFI]

a reminder that Rafe uses the alias Adrian in this story

It’d been almost two weeks before you spoke to Adrian again. And it wasn’t without attempt on his end. The texts started slow. A good morning, a goodnight. Then they transitioned into ‘I wish I could see you’, ‘Please talk to me’, ‘Thinking of you’. Then finally Adrian had taken up calling you. Every time his name appeared on your phone screen you felt your chest tighten with worry. Every time your phone pinged with a notification you took just a little bit longer to get to it.

You weren’t sure why you hadn’t just blocked him. Or even just texted him to leave you alone then block him. But you didn’t. You sometimes even found yourself rereading his thread of texts when you couldn’t sleep. Sometimes you would type a response, but then quickly erase it. 

No. You couldn’t message him, couldn’t see him. He was hiding something. It made your stomach ache. No matter how much you wanted to forget what the bartender said just so you could feel his hands on you again, you knew he knew more than he let on. 

It’s for that sole reason that you realized you couldn’t block him, or remove him completely from your life. You still had questions, answers that only Adrian could provide. 

It was midnight when your phone pinged. You were on a break from the warm-line. You stared at your reflection in the window above the kitchen sink, noticing your phone light up just behind you in the glass. Pressing your lips together, you shook your head, trying to overcome the curiosity you felt brewing. It was only ever one person who messaged you at this time. 

Finding no other reason to put it off, you reluctantly returned to your makeshift office space at the island, unlocking your phone. Much to your surprise—& relief—it wasn’t Adrian.

Your mom says you won’t be coming home for Thanksgiving🥺 would you like some company in the city?

You smiled to yourself in the dimly lit kitchen at Lillie’s text. It felt like it’d been ages since you spoke to her. After all, she was pretty much the only person from your first life who didn’t try to remind you of everything that didn’t make you you anymore. 

Rereading her text though, you felt your smile fall. Of course you wouldn’t be going back for thanksgiving. Any holidays where your family gathered together to whisper about you in the corners or ask you questions testing to see if you really didn’t remember made you cringe. Your mother hadn’t been surprised at your refusal to come home when you spoke a few days prior but you still heard the disappointment in her voice. 

‘Perhaps your father & I can come to you. You shouldn’t be alone during the holidays.’ She had said. 

But you insisted on being alone. You told a few white lies, saying you made friends with other tenants on your floor. In reality, you just weren’t ready to have her back. You knew lying to your mom, your therapist wasn’t good for yourself but not seeing them face to face made it easier. You just needed more time. 

Your thoughts strayed back to the open text on your phone. You typed.

Not this time, Lil. Wouldn’t be a great host, tbh. But maybe for Xmas or New Years. I’ll call after thanksgiving. 

Closing out of the message, you placed your headset back on, clacking the keys on your laptop to rejoin the warm-line. 

Five minutes later you were in the middle of a call with a young woman who was struggling with her depressive thoughts when your childhood lullaby seeped into your apartment walls. 

No, no no. You thought quietly to yourself, feeling your head sway dizzily to Piano Sonata. Your heart beat wildly within your chest. Don’t text me, don’t text me, don’t text me.

Ding.

…Adrian. 

The voice of the young woman faded as your mouth went dry. You stared horrified at your phone, Adrian’s name the only words on the screen. A shudder raced through you, as if all the windows in your apartment were open. 

Shakily you picked up the phone, sliding open the text. 

Sweet dreams. -A

“Hello?” A sudden what returned to your chilled skin at the voice in your ear.

“Yes, sorry. I’m listening.”

But you weren’t. How could you? Adrian knew something. & you needed to know what.

Thirty minutes later, you found yourself reaching the ground floor of your building. It was almost one in the morning & it was chilly outside from the early winter season but you didn’t care. Adrian was finally going to get the attention he had been craving.

Wrapped in three layers of cardigans & a wool jacket, you stepped outside onto the empty city street. Across the street, you glanced up at the building, observing only a few lights on in windows. Adrian had to be one of them.

Unlocking your phone, you pulled up his name & hit the call button. The line rang twice before it answered.

“_____.” Adrian sounded relieved, the exact opposite of how you felt.

You skipped the niceties. “We need to talk. I’m downstairs.”

“You’re down—what like downstairs downstairs?”

“I’ll be waiting.” You hung up, not wanting to discuss anything further until he was standing right in front of you.

Fortunately you didn’t have to wait long. You watched through the lobby windows of Adrian’s building as he crossed the main floor to the doors. He wore a beanie & thick winter jacket. When he stepped out, a smile graced his features.

“Hey, how are—“

“You’re from Kildare.” You spat, taking a step back when he came to close. With that comment though, he froze entirely. 

“And don’t say you’re not because I know you are.”

Adrian’s brows furrowed. You could see the gears turning in his head. Probably trying to come with more lies. Before he could open his mouth, you shook your head, dismissing him. “Don’t lie. I already know.”

His eyes searched yours, his mouth hanging loosely open but saying nothing. 

“Who are you?” It wasn’t a question you were prepared to ask but found yourself saying it. 

“_____…” He sighed, moving one step closer. You glared hotly at him through the visible breathe shared between you two. 

“Don’t,” you gasped, staring at him wide-eyed, “don’t say my name unless you’re going to tell me the truth.”

The two of you stared at each other on the dimly lit street for what felt like ages before Adrian pressed his lips together, his lids fluttering closed briefly in surrender. When he opened them, they softened.

“Okay. I’ll tell you everything. But will you just come up, it’s freezing out here.” When he made to reach for you, you hurriedly stepped out of reach.

“Now, Adrian! Tell me now. I don’t even know you. How the hell do you know me?”

You saw a bout of anger flash momentarily across his eyes before he shook his own hair. Placing his hands on his hips, he stared at you, contemplating. 

“I swear if you don’t tell me I will—“

“Alright! Alright.” Adrian clicked his tongue, shaking his head in disbelief, “I didn’t—I don’t.” He begun but kept stopping. You anxiously waited for him to form the words. 

“I don’t know where to begin.”

“The beginning,” you spit, the confused anger coursing through you kept you warm against the chilled air. 

Adrian furrowed his brows, “Okay. I, uh, yes. I’m from Kildare.”

The sensation that went through you wasn’t what you expected. You expected relief at his admittance, but your chest coiled, needing more, needing to know more. 

“And we know each other?” It came out almost a whisper, despite wanting to scream.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair & down his face. He peered at you, unsure. But you watched as a resignation came over him. He hung his head. “Yes & no.”

What? You felt yourself growing frustrated, tired of him beating around the bush. “Yes & no?” You repeated, biting your lip in annoyance. 

Adrian threw his hands up, exasperated, “I don’t know what the fuck you want—“

“The truth, Adrian!” You exclaimed, “just tell me the truth..”

“Kildare is small, _____. We both know that.” He shook his head, walking a foot toward his building to lean against the wall. “What happened to you was a big deal.”

“My accident?”

“Yeah.” He half scoffed, half laughed, “I mean, jesus, for days you were the only thing in the news. Your progress, the details surrounding the accident. You were all anyone talked about.”

“Is that how you know me?” You pushed, “the news?”

“No.” Adrian shrugged. “We went to high school together.”

The coil in your chest sprung, a small inaudible exhale leaving your throat, “were we friends?”

At that Adrian chuckled, but there wasn’t an amusing smile to match the action, “No. We weren’t friends. We hardly knew each other. But Kildare is small, the high school smaller.”

“Why didn’t you say anything when we ran into each other?”

“Honestly?” You gave him a pointed glare at his question. “I didn’t recognize you at first. I mean, you look different than you did in school. It wasn’t until you told me your name that I figured it out.”

“So why not then still?”

“I…” he shook his head, sighing, “don’t know. It was clear that you didn’t recognize me. There were rumors of course about your condition after getting out of the hospital but who knows what the truth is, ya know? So, I just didn’t say anything.”

“Except trying to get me to relive the coastal life.” You rebutted, recalling when Adrian would try to order you food that would remind you of home.

“Alright, I’ll admit, that was me being an asshole, seeing if the rumors were true.”

You scoffed, finding his tactic unbelievable, “wow, nice.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry.” Adrian pushed off from the building to take a step toward you. You crossed your arms before your body to keep warm from the cool. 

“It was wrong. I know. I should’ve said something sooner but, but I was…afraid.”

“Afraid?” You rolled your eyes, “of what?”

“I like you, _____. You know that, I already said as much. The feelings I’ve developed for you are real. And after we kissed the first time, I figured I was in too deep already. If you didn’t remember me before then… what did it matter now?”

“Still.” Your heart faltered. He lied to you, manipulated you, he even experimented! This wasn’t someone who could have real feelings…

“I know, I know.” Adrian spoke softly, his eyes peering into your own. You hadn’t realized he was standing directly in front of you at that point. Gently he placed his hands on your biceps, his fingers firm but soft. “I shouldn’t have lied. I should have said something. But we were good, ya know? It was obvious you wanted to forget the past &… I wanted to help. Be a part of it.”

Your lips parted. A plethora of emotions flooded you as you stared up at him. Pressing your lips together, you stepped out of his hold. You swallowed before speaking, “I need time.”

Adrian pursed his lips but nodded stiffly, “Okay.”

The two of you stood quietly for a beat before you felt a chill breeze sweep over you. You shuddered, angling your body toward your building, “I’ll call you, okay? I don’t want to make any promises or anything but… I just need to think. About all of this, & especially about what it means.”

Again, Adrian nodded but didn’t say anything. 

Without another word, you stepped off the sidewalk & were halfway across the street when you heard your name being called. You stopped to turn around. Adrian was half-way off the sidewalk, “I know what I did was wrong, & I am sorry, but I don’t regret it.”

You weren’t sure what to say, your stomach twisting at his words, confused &… relieved at his honesty. 

“I didn’t know you much before, but I can’t imagine who you used to be compares to who you are now. You’re really… you really are amazing.”

Words wanted to come out but you couldn’t pick them out. A small smile tugged at the corner of your mouth. 

Adrian waved you off, “Anyway, goodnight, _____.”

“Night, Adrian.”

Adrian disappeared inside his building, leaving you alone on the empty, dimly lit city street. But despite your predicament, both medically & romantically, it was the first time since your rebirth that you didn’t feel alone. It was the first time you felt genuinely seen.

“I wasn’t expecting a call so soon.” Adrian shared as you let you into his building.

Neither were you. After all, it had only been four days since you spoke to him outside in the middle of the night. But you had spoken to your therapist.

Of course, you spared her details—only mentioning that you had indeed met someone & weren’t sure how to navigate a relationship in your condition. She reminded you that your long-term amnesia & sun sickness didn’t mean you had to live a life alone. In fact, she was pleased to hear you had met someone, asking if you had told your family & friends yet.

“Ugh, no.” You had winced at the thought, “I’m barely ready for this, I don’t want to introduce them to anything temporary.”

“Well when you treat it like it’s temporary it surely will be.” She responded knowingly. “Do you want it to be temporary?”

You pondered her question for some time. You thought about how Adrian knew about your condition, the accident even. How he knew how your family functioned because everyone from Kildare functioned the same. How in spite of all that he still wanted to get to know you. Then you remembered the lying, the experimenting, the hiding.

But he had said it, he wanted to help you forget. No one who knew you before would really ever let you forget, not even Lillie though bless her heart she sure did try. But Adrian knew you before, or at least of you, & still accepted you for you. This you. 

“Maybe.” You finally had responded.

Once your zoom session ended, you stared at Adrian’s name on your phone. Another surprise you had during the break from him was that he didn’t message you, not once, not even to say goodnight or goodmorning. He was respecting your boundaries, giving you time, space. You figured he wouldn’t, which would’ve ultimately landed further away from you then both of you would like, but he surprised you. He did that a lot. 

But after your talk with your therapist, you had to acknowledge the urge in your heart to contact him. You actually missed him. In the short time you’ve known him, Adrian had quickly & quietly became a fixture in your life. It was harder to not miss him. 

That was how you found yourself outside his building the following night.

Adrian had sounded as relieved & excited to hear your voice as you his, though you didn’t show it, still choosing to remain guarded. But it was thanksgiving week, & your therapist said you didn’t have to spend your life alone. You weren’t sure if you would, or even wanted to, spend it with Adrian, but you figured thanksgiving dinner would be an okay start. 

“Yeah, I hope it’s okay that I invited myself to your place for dinner.”

“Of course.” He smiled jovially at you as you two waited for the elevators. It was a little past seven in the evening, a late dinner. But thanks to the time of year, the sun set nearly three hours prior. Fortunately for you, Adrian was more than happy to have a late dinner with you.

“I wasn’t sure what to make, to be honest, not much of a cook, but I hope what I got is alright.” He laughed awkwardly.

“As long as it’s nothing from the south.” You joked. He raised his hands innocently, “I’ve learned my lesson with that.”

“Good.” You giggled softly.

A minute or so later, you found yourself walking through Adrian’s apartment door. Though similar to your own in space & size, it was a sleeker, more modern aesthetic. It had a warmer welcome to it than your concrete abode. It was very clearly a bachelor pad, as well. 

The living room had a leather sectional with a large flat screen. Behind the sectional was a pool table parallel to a minibar. Everything in the apartment, from what you could see, was black or white. Even the felt on the pool table was black. But there were touches of Adrian throughout. Yet from what you could see, there was no piano in sight. 

A paper bag from Yummy Mummy sat on top of Adrian’s pure white kitchen island. A shocked but amused scoff left you. Adrian piqued his eyebrows at your reaction, “I did say I wasn’t much of a cook…”

“Yeah,” you chuckled, staring in inane cheerfulness as he began to empty contents from the paper bag, “no kidding.”

“One beef burger & fries for you…” Adrian handed you the wrapped food to which you happily received. “And one beef burger & fries for me.”

You felt your brows furrow. “Not your usual? Shrimp sandwich?”

“Nah,” Adrian replied, seating himself at a stool corner to you, “I figured I’d change it up for once.”

You popped a fry into your mouth, smirking playfully. “Good choice.”

The both of you sat & ate quietly for a minute or so before Adrian hopped up with a mouth full of food, heading for the fridge. He looked at you & said something but you definitely didn’t understand a word. He rolled his eyes & chewed animatedly before swallowing, a grin appearing on his face. “Sorry. Do you want a drink?”

“Um,” you paused, unsure if having alcohol was the best idea right now, “what do you have?”

“Uh…” he narrowed his eyes at the contents inside his fridge, “beer, wine, & uh, more beer.” He tossed you an apologetic look, “I could brew up some coffee if you don’t want some of the big kid stuff.”

You knew he didn’t mean anything intentional by ‘big kid stuff’ but still, you found yourself a little taken aback by the comment. You weren’t a kid, regardless of your condition. You could handle yourself fine. Besides, you lived right across the street. It’s not like you’d be stumbling into a cab like you did halloween weekend. 

“A beer is great.” You thanked him as he popped the cap off a bottle & handed it to you before doing the same for himself.

Adrian returned to his seat & raised his bottle in your direction. “To new beginnings.”

“New beginnings,” you repeated, clinking the neck of your beer against his.

Adrian smiled around the mouth of his beer as he drank. You felt yourself flush. Taking a swig yourself, you repeated to yourself internally —

To new beginnings.

You sighed blissfully as you reached your door, sensing Adrian behind you. 

“You really didn’t have to walk me all the way to my door.” You shared but was internally thankful for his company.

Dinner had been a pleasant surprise. After eating & chatting more, Adrian & you sat on his sectional to relax. He put on an Angelina Jolie movie but neither of you paid much attention.

You were worried he would bring up the past, talk about high school or other parts of Kildare that you simply couldn’t & would never remember. But he never once even leaned in that direction. Conversation flowed evenly, with flirtatious bits here & there. By the time the movie finished it was almost 11. In that time, you still hadn’t mentioned the other downside of your illness. So you wanted to get out of his hair so he could sleep like the normal people do. But he insisted on seeing you home himself. How could you say no?

“I really wanted to though.” He replied, a smirk appearing on his goddamn handsome features. 

You chuckled softly at that & turned the handle but didn’t push it open. Instead you faced him once more. He continued to stare pensively at you, making your skin erupt in goosebumps. 

“Thank you again for dinner.”

“The first of many, I hope.” He replied.

“And thank you for being patient. I’m still not sure where we stand but right now dinner & conversation is okay.”

Adrian mustered another smile but nodded. 

“Okay, well…” you began, “goodnight, Adr—“

You didn’t get to finish speaking his name when you felt yourself pressed gently against your door & his lips on top yours. 

The abruptness of his gentle assault made you gasp & grip onto the sleeves of his jacket. Adrian moved his mouth over yours expertly, & surprisingly, you welcomed it. You found yourself bringing him closer to you, enough for his chest to press into you. 

Adrian’s fingers threaded themselves through your hair, gently tugging to maneuver your neck at an angle where he could access your mouth better. The action forced a heated moan. Adrian groaned deeply. 

Then suddenly his mouth & body heat were gone. You dizzily blinked your eyes open to stare at him. The both of you were breathing heavily.

“I’m sorry. I…” his eyes fell to your open mouth, your swollen lips red & pouty, “I couldn’t not.”

You felt your core tighten, an ache wanted to be satiated. An ache you haven’t felt much before. An ache you wanted to feel more of.

To Adrian’s surprise, you closed the distance yet again, grabbing the back of his neck to bring his mouth down atop yours. Adrian responded, wrapping his arms around your waist, this time none so gently pushing you against the door. 

You moaned again, biting your lip to keep the noise from escaping. Adrian lifted his head to stare down at you, “I thought you wanted slow.”

“I want you to make me feel good.” You whispered, “make me feel good, Adrian.”

A heated look shadowed his gaze & next thing you knew, Adrian had shoved the both of you into your apartment, slamming the door loudly as it echoed through your apartment. 

Adrian’s mouth was on yours again with renewed vigor. His teeth nipped at your lower lip, his hands traveled the length of you to cup your bottom, lifting you with ease as you wrapped your legs around him. 

Your head was spinning with every kiss along your neck & collarbone as he sat you on top of your kitchen island. Your hands & mouth couldn’t keep up with him as he deftly pulled at your clothes. 

We’re you really going to go through with this? You wanted to go slow…

But then Adrian slipped his fingers into your underwear, his index & middle finger wasting no time in slipping into your pussy. A gasp escaped you at the sudden intrusion & you bucked your hips slightly into his palm.

“You’re so fucking wet already.” He mouthed hotly into your ear, “I knew you wanted me to fuck you, make you come undone.” 

A strained & gurgled moan stuck in your throat at his words. 

His teeth grazed the lobe of your ear, adding to the euphoric sensations erupting from the warmth of your core. 

Adrian’s fingers curled inside you then, & you held onto his forearm, gyrating your hips around his hand. 

You felt your thighs shake as something tight began to build. Your moans at this point were pouring out shamelessly. Adrian grabbed the underside of your chin, turning your face upwards so he could cover your mouth with his own.

Your lips parted & his tongue slipped in, “Cum for me. Cum like the good whore I know you are.”

His words—words that you normally would’ve been appalled at—made you wince & cry out. The tight coil deep in your core springing loose.

“Don’t stop.” You pleaded as you felt a flood of warmth consume you. 

You cried out, rotating your hips & bucking into Adrian’s hand as his thumb circled your clit, heightening your senses.

“Oh my god…” you gasped, finally opening your eyes, though all you saw were stars blanketing your vision. 

“You’re fucking perfect.” Adrian murmured as he pressed his lips to your open mouth. 

As you came down, your skin coated in a light sheen of sweat, you stared in awe at Adrian. An accomplished smile appeared on his face. 

“That was…” you began, still catching your breath, a stickiness between your legs apparent, “I don’t what that was.”

“It was everything you wanted.” He responded, his hands returning to your hair, running the tresses through his fingers. 

You half chuckled at that, too exhausted to attempt anything more. 

“And now you’ve got me rock fucking hard.” With that comment, Adrian’s hand slipped down to your own, gripping your wrist & guiding it to the solid lump at the crotch of his jeans. 

Adrian cupped your hand around himself, grinding his obvious arousal into your palm. You foolishly felt like a young girl, experiencing her first sexual encounter. In a way, that’s exactly what was happening. You didn’t remember your life before, let alone any sex you may or may not have. But considering that you were in you were 21, you highly doubted you were a virgin. 

Still though. As you sat atop your island counter, your own arousal seeping out, you felt dumbfounded. 

Adrian hissed through his clenched teeth, his eyes hooded as he watched you watch the motion of your hand over his jean-clad bulge. 

“I want to fuck you,” he started, “I need to fuck you, _____.” At this point his face was burrowed in your neck, his hot breath sending shivers & shockwaves throughout your body. 

You felt your core clench at his words, you body seemingly welcome to the idea of letting Adrian do what he wants with you. But you wanted slow… you needed slow. 

“Say yes, _____.” Adrian’s lips grazed your skin, “let me make you feel good.”

And you did. You did feel good, Adrian had succeeded in that. But he could make you feel better. 

You halted the movement of your hand, pausing to look up at Adrian. Your decision must’ve been evident in your eyes because Adrian smiled like he won a nation-wide championship. 

“That’s my girl.” He softly said just before his hands gripped your hips suddenly, pulling you off the counter. 

In a frenzy, you were spun around & pressed flush to the counter. A small gasp escaped you when you felt Adrian tug once at your underwear before the elastic snapped & left you bare. 

Adrian’s lips deceased upon your upper back as his fingers expertly unclasped your bra, removing the item & tossing it to the side. A wonton mewl parted your lips when Adrian pressed his front to your rear. 

“You need me to fuck you.” Adrian somewhat harshly gripped the back of your neck, bending your head backwards & an awkward & mildly painful angle so he could whisper in your ear. 

“Say it.” He wasn’t wrong, you felt the intense desire to be savagely fucked by him. But saying it? You couldn’t find the words. They felt almost…wrong?

When you continued to not say anything, Adrian’s grip on your neck tightened, making you wince. A bout of concern flooded you, but what surprised you most was the erotic sensations you felt from the action. 

Then a prodding was felt at your entrance. Your lips parted in confused anticipation, waiting for Adrian to fulfill his want.

But nothing came.

Instead, another sharp pain erupted through your scalp as he tugged your hair, yanking your head back, “I only fuck good girls who listen.”

“Adria—“ You had begun, but his hand suddenly covered your mouth. You felt your eyes widen in fear at the movement.

Adrian was at your ear, one hand covering your mouth as you felt his other reach around to your front, his fingers finding your sensitive clit.

A muffled moan sounded from behind Adrian’s hand as you felt your legs shake from the erotic assault. Your arousal dropped between your thighs. You could feel the droplets landing on your feet.

“It’ll be this,” Adrian pressed his hips forward, the head of his cock rubbing up & down between your folds, getting slick with your juices, “but so much more.”

Your heart was racing, your skin still damp with sweat. You unintentionally felt your hips press against him, wanting—needing—more.

“_____.” Adrian reprimanded in an almost sing-song tone, “Give me what I want, & I will give you what you want.”

“You need me to fuck you.” Adrian repeated, his fingers rubbing vigorously, & you could feel the coil in your stomach begin to restrict, the taste of absolute sensual bliss so close.

Just as you felt yourself about to come undone, Adrian’s fingers disappeared. His hand over mouth, too.

A hunger inside you was left unsatisfied. 

Adrian was still behind you, his cock unmoving against your soaking wet cunt. 

“Say it.” He whispered.

You needed it. You fucking needed it. Like a feral cat preparing to be devoured by the feral beast, you pressed yourself against the counter, your hands gripping the edge, “I need you to fuck me, Adrian.”

“Please,” you begged, shocked by how desperate you sounded, “Adrian, fuck me.”

“With pleasure.” He growled before an intrusive fullness filled you.

Something between a yelp & a moan escaped you as Adrian sheathed himself entirely in one single thrust. You didn’t even have time to adjust, or think on how this was your first time having sex since your accident, before he was pounding himself into you.

Adrian hissed & groaned behind you, the later reverberating from deep within his chest which was pressed against your back. It was like music to your ears. 

You hadn’t thought much on sex in your rebirth, but fuck, the sounds Adrian made certainly added to the sensations. 

Adrian’s hands found your wrists, positioning them behind your back between your bodies. You couldn’t fathom the words through your euphoric fog to tell him it was painful. But even then, soon enough, the pain started to feel good too. 

He grunted, his hips snapping recklessly against you. The coiled feeling returned with a vengeance as Adrian pounded you mercilessly. One hand grasped the base of your throat, bringing your head back so he could press his face into your hair. His other hand found its place between your legs. 

The second his fingers touched you, the coil broke. A strangled cry clawed out of your throat as you came around Adrian’s cock. 

“That’s my good fucking girl.” Adrian mumbled just before he thrusted into you deeply, painfully, once more, a strained groan of his own following. 

Slowly, languidly, Adrian rotated his hips as the two of you came down. Your heart beat wildly within your chest, your skin suddenly cold & erupting with goosebumps, your breathing erratic. Adrian softened inside you before he pulled out. You winced at the emptiness. 

It was quiet for what felt like forever before you finally felt calmed enough. You pushed off from the counter, the ache deep inside you pounding, reflective of the somewhat rough sex you had just experienced.

In your peripheral, you saw Adrian disappear down your hallway to your bathroom. You took this opportunity to get mostly dressed in the dark. Underwear, bra, shirt. 

All of a sudden you felt uncomfortable. Exposed. Dirty.

Used.

But you had used him too, hadn’t you? 

You continued to reason yourself, listing reasons why it was okay: it was in the heat of the moment, you did actually want it, the chemistry between you two was acted on naturally, etc. 

You had done a very normal thing. 

The fact brought a smile to your face.

A pair of arms encircled your waist. You bit your lip, turned around to face him.

“I’m never letting you go.” Adrian quietly announced as he kissed you once more.

You chuckled softly, pulling away, “I can’t believe that just happened. So much for slow.”

Adrian grinned at you, forcing you to look away. You began to pull out of his arms, when his hands halted you, his brows furrowing, “Wait, stop, what are you doing? Do you regret it?”

“No.” You responded instantaneously, “I just, it happened to fast. I didn’t really have a chance to think.”

“You jumped me.” Adrian reminded you, “I was following your lead.”

You nodded in agreement, knowing that was exactly what happened. You could’ve said no at any point, not let it get past your door, but you couldn’t stop it, you didn’t want to stop it.

You shook your head, smiling sheepishly, “I know, I know. I… enjoyed it. A lot.”

Adrian placed a finger under your chin, turning your face upwards so he could look you in the eye, “It’s a good thing, _____. Right?”

“Right.” You repeated, allowing him to pull you closer. Your face was buried into the crook of his neck. He kissed the side of your head. 

“Everything happens for a reason.”

It’s nearly eight in the morning when you see Adrian to your door.

After another tussle in the sheets, which was much softer than the heated roughness of the kitchen tussle—the latter you discovered you enjoyed more of—Adrian & you had passed out. It was his 7:30 alarm that had woken you.

You let Adrian shower, lying in your bed reminiscing the night before. Then you got up to make some tea. You knew you’d be going back to sleep after Adrian left & wanted to make it easier by preparing some chamomile. 

It was 8:02 when Adrian appeared in the kitchen, his light brown hair damp. He smiled at you before giving you a gentle but firm kiss. It left you dizzy.

“Any plans for thanksgiving?”

“Ugh,” you stuck your tongue out, “none.”

Adrian laughed, “Gonna wing it alone, huh?”

You shrugged, “I like being alone. Plus I don’t want to go to Kildare to be surrounded by people who won’t stop staring.”

He nodded.

“What about you?” You turned the question onto him.

Adrian shrugged as well, “Eh. Don’t really think they’ll notice if I’m there or not. So why spend the money to go down there?”

“But you love Kildare.”

“Yeah, I do. But uh…” He glanced at you with raised brows, “I’m beginning to like it here more.”

You felt your cheeks grow hot at the compliment. Fuck, get it together!

“So…” You began, “you’ll be here then?”

“Yeah.” Adrian’s mouth turned up in one corner with a smirk, “Maybe we could do something together.”

You rolled your eyes playfully but nodded, “Okay. But this time I’ll cook.”

Adrian through you a questioning look, “You mean cook cook or order from Yummy Mummy cook?”

“Cook cook.” A knowing grin appeared on your face. 

“Okay,” He ran his hand through your hair, his eyes overlooking what felt like every detail of your face. He leaned in then, his lips barely brushing against your own, “As long as I have you for dessert.”

Adrian finishes slipping into his shoes & jacket as you wait at the door. He made himself a small breakfast before you hinted that you had stuff to do, stuff being sleep. 

“I’ll call you.” You said to him, unlocking the latches. 

“I’ll be waiting.” The two of you shared a smile. You began to open the door as he leaned down to kiss you. It was a sweet one, like the ones you had first experienced with him. Giggling into the kiss, you were just about to pull away when a thud sounded right next to you.

“What the fuck?” Adrian & you pulled away suddenly at the voice just to your left. 

Turning from Adrian, you spun around to see Lillie standing in the hallway outside your door. A bag had fallen from her hand to the floor, & a small suitcase stood beside her legs.

“Lillie?” Your eyes widened, not expecting her, or literally anyone to be standing there. “What are you doing here?”

“I should be asking you the same thing.” She spit but it wasn’t directed towards you. 

No, the look she had on her face, which could easily send anyone to their early grave, was aimed directly at Adrian.

This was a much longer unexpected hiatus again. Between school, work, preparing for graduating, moving, putting a pet down, mental health issues, starting therapy, yadda yadda yadda--I kind of couldn't focus on this. But I am happy to post again. Though I can't promise anything consistent right now.

Regardless, I hope having a longer part of Awake posted will make up for it.

As always, please let me know what you think. I love to hear it & it makes me feel good<3

Thank you for reading!

oona<3

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[prettyprince00]

♡ FILMS FOR FAUNLET FASHION INSPO ♡

~~Got bored so compiled this (pretty extensive) list of film references for faunlet style and aesthetics, might be helpful for anyone looking to delve into and develop their style. Don't take this as some kind of gospel, it's just a bunch of movies and shows that I think can be useful reference points. My personal style and taste for example is a huge mix and amalgalm of stuff I see, from movie characters to paintings, books, comics, cartoons, music videos, haute couture collections, K- and J-idols, BJD dolls, even elements and staples from female fashion that I kind of genderflip or just outright mix into and merge with my own "masculine"/boyish/whatever faunlet fits. I think the secret to finding your style is to never limit yourself & always be creative (& clever ofc)! ♡

Feel free to suggest and tell me some of your personal films/shows that inspire you the most. I'm sure I forgot some stuff >.> Hope this helps somewhat lolol

WARNING: A LOT OF THESE HAVE MATURE THEMES AND +18 STUFF, SO DO RESEARCH BEFORE WATCHING AND PROCEED AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION, CAUTION & RESPONSIBILITY!

I. Academia/Schoolboy/Old Money/Preppy/Classic Faunlet Vibes

Les Amitiés particulières by Jean Delannoy

A Series of Unfortunate Events (Film and show)

Both versions of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Lord of the Flies (both versions tbh)

The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe by Andrew Adamson

Kaze to ki no Uta + Natsu e no Tobira (Honestly most shounen ai anime especially from the 80s/90s)

CLAMP Gakuen Tanteidan

Kuroshitsuji i.e. Black Butler (probably the most famous ouji aka male lolita-influenced anime out there)

Ouran High School Host Club

Cardcaptor Sakura (Li's fits especially but also Touya's and Yukito's)

The Long Day Closes + The Neon Bible, by Terence Davies

If... by Lindsay Anderson

The Butcher Boy by Neil Jordan

Tea and Sympathy by Vincent Minnelli

Purple Noon by René Clément

Sleepers by Barry Levinson

The Basketball Diaries by Scott Kalvert

School Ties by Robert Mandel

The Dangerous Lives of the Altar Boys by Peter Care

Blue Spring by Toshiaki Toyoda

Death in Venice by Luchino Visconti

East of Eden (also Splendor in the Grass I guess?) by Elia Kazan

Lacombe Lucien (+ Au Revoir Les Enfants) by Louis Malle

Bad Education by Pedro Almodóvar

The Ice Storm by Ang Lee

La Luna + The Dreamers by Bernardo Bertolucci

Teorema by PP Pasolini (also Saló tbh bt I feel kinda weird recommending that lmfao even though it's a pretty well-established masterpiece & one of my favs)

Total Eclipse by Agnieszka Holland (teenage Arthur Rimbaud is a core faunler reference tbh, strange that I don't see him brought up more, though he's been a queer/twink culture icon for ages so yeah)

Les roseaux sauvages by André Téchiné

Call Me by Your Name by Luca Guadagnino

Deep Red by Dario Argento (only for the flashback Xmas scenes with the creepy little boy in knee-highs and Mary Janes tbh lol)

The Omen by Richard Donner

The Good Son by Joseph Ruben

Pinnocchio (OG Disney animation) (you could make a double feature with A.I. Artificial Intelligence by Spielberg/Kubrick too)

Les 400 coups by François Truffaut

L'enfance nue by Maurice Pialat

A Single Man by Tom Ford

Looking for Langston by Isaac Julien

Sacré College, Garçons d'Etage, Scouts and Gamins de Paris by JD Cadinot (WARNING: Cadinot's films are basically erotica/arthouse vintage gay p*rn so obviously 18+!!!!!)

II. More Contemporary/Gas Station/Trashy/Greaser/Hustler/Catalet Faunlet Vibes

My Own Private Idaho (also Mala Noche and Elephant) by Gus Van Sant

Slight Fever of a 20-Year-Old + Like Grains of Sand by Ryosuke Hashiguchi

Mysterious Skin + Totally Fucked Up + Nowhere by Gregg Araki

Hustler White by Bruce LaBruce (+18)

Rebel Without a Cause by Nicholas Ray

Cry Baby + Polyester by John Waters

Pretty much any juvenile delinquent teensploitation 40s/50s Old Hollywood flick tbh

The Outsiders by FF Coppola

A Cruel Story of Youth + Sing a Song of Sex by Nagisa Oshima

Most of Edward Furlong and Vicent Kartheiser's 90s filmography (Pet Semetary 2, Brainscan, Little Odessa for Furlong; Heaven Sent, Another Day in Paradise, Masterminds for Vincent)

River's Edge by Tim Hunter

Young Soul Rebels by Isaac Julien

Sleepaway Camp by Robert Hiltzik

Le Diable Probablement by Robert Bresson

Permanent Green Light  + Like Cattle Towards Glow (+18) by Zac Farley & Dennis Cooper

Pauline à la Plage by Eric Rohmer

The Smell of Us + Ken Park by Larry Clark

Flesh by Paul Morrissey

Lonesome Cowboys by Andy Warhol

Cruising by William Friedkin

Un couteau dans le cœur by Yann Gonzalez (though most of the male fashion in this is just ripping off Friedkin's Cruising and Cadinot films like Aime... comme Minet, Deuxième Sous-sol and Les Minets Sauvages so you could just watch those instead I guess lol)

Equation à un Inconnu by Francis Savel (erotica/+18)

Rebels of the Neon God by Tsai Ming Liang

Fireworks + Scorpio Rising by Kenneth Anger

Dope by Rick Famuyiwa

Cooley High by Michael Schultz

The Inkwell by Matty Rich

Red Hook Summer by Spike Lee

George Washington by David Gordon Green

American Graffiti by George Lucas and Bill Norton

All About Lily Chou-Chou by Shunji Iwai

Stand by Me by Rob Reiner

The Mudge Boy by Michael Burke

US Go Home by Claire Denis

Gummo by Harmony Korine

L.I.E. by Michael Cuesta

Palo Alto by Gia Coppola

Spetters by Paul Verhoeven

Fox and His Friends by RW Fassbinder

The Pit by Lew Lehman

O Fantasma by João Pedro Rodrigues

The Delta by Ira Sachs

What Have I Done to Deserve This + Law of Desire by Pedro Almodovar

The Partridge Family sitcom tbh lol, also the 70s era of the Mickey Mouse Club, pretty much any 70s media featuring male idols of the time like David Cassidy, Leif Garrett etc

Dazed and Confused by Richard Linklater

The Lost Boys by Joel Schumacher

Y Tu Mamá Tambièn by Alfonso Cuarón

Summer 85 by François Ozon

Les Chansons d'Amour + La Belle Personne by Christophe Honoré

Body Without Soul + Not Angels But Angels by Wiktor Grodecki (personally rly dislike the weird Christian melodramatic & imo exploitative direction of these documentaries bt the boys who are interviewed do the best they can to salvage it -- quintessential East European 90s cityboy looks)

III. Fantasy/Glam/Mystical/Sacred/Ancient/Historical Faunlet Vibes

Pink Narcissus by James Bidgood

Caravaggio + Sebastiane by Derek Jarman

Peter Pan (any version tbh)

Fantasia (1940 Disney classic)

Tabou by Nagisa Oshima

Poison + Velvet Goldmine by Todd Haynes

Party Monster by Fenton Bailey

Satyricon by Federico Fellini

Der Rosenkönig by Werner Schroeter

The Blood of a Poet by Jean Cocteau

[asksoldieron]

SO-18: Memory Bomb!

If there's a lot of engagement on this, this post is liable to get real long, beware before you expand.

No art, but hopefully my eyes will improve enough to add some later!

Welcome to the Engagement Lounge, for Peanut Butter Bubblegum (SO-18) an instalment! Short comments can go in the replies, but there's a 475 character limit. Longer ones will need a reblog. Remember to @asksoldieron if you're reblogging someone else's reblog, so I can see it too!

There! They got him! Well, sorta. That's definitely not Erik but he's in there somewhere. They'll get him out! Eventually!

I had such a cool idea for a musical comic but I can't do it. You'll have to read and imagine David and Hyacinth having it out, while what he is now is slowly subsumed by what he once was... Or while an imposter who made a very bad decision becomes permanently trapped in a web of his own lies. Maybe both at once!

*sigh* I'm struggling, but I don't get real feedback from the eye doctor. It's like they don't think I can't handle any negativity, so everything is all smiles and "you're doing great!" while I'm dealing with shit they should've sat me down and told me about before I even had the damn surgery.

You see, I had the impression the surgery was the best option for not losing any of the improvement I spent all last year making myself sick to gain. Heh. Maybe it was, but I've still lost ground and I'll need to put in even more work to get it back. I have a different issue now: stamina. My eyes get tired of focusing on detail, near and far, and in certain situations they'll just stop. I'll be straining as hard as I can and I won't be able to tell you if that's a D, C, O or G. It won't shift in and out of focus like I might be able to get it eventually, it'll just be a static blur until I rest my eyes and come back to it. (Kinda think the doctor thought I was faking or playing it up, since I could read letters the first time she asked me to, and then I couldn't. But the tech just listened to me describe what was happening and said, "Oh, yeah. Your eyes are just tired. Take a break.")

I don't have much trouble reading - as long as it's black and white or close to that. Much like Erik, I can get it from context. I've always read the shape of the word, because my damn eyes never worked like they're supposed to. But art is not like that. Hell, even reading a comic is harder for me right now.

I'm getting my Xmas computer soon. It has a bigger screen than my tablet, and I should be able to draw on it. I might not get so tired so fast with a bigger screen, but I won't know until I try. I found a good enough refurbished deal that I can afford a pen display with an even bigger screen, if it comes to that, but I'll have to give myself some time to strengthen my eyes in any case.

I thought I was just going to heal from this - it would only be a matter of time until the wound closed and my corneas cleared up - I certainly got that impression at the start. But now they say I'm not going to get better without more work. I'm stuck doing pretty much the same exercises, only now they're hard in a different way. The dry-eye does seem to be improving, but there's no guarantee it will keep doing that. I have nearly a year to wait for the dryness and light tolerance to stabilize, those things are the slowest to heal. Well, they would be the slowest, if I didn't have this stupid vision dysfunction. I have no idea how long that's going to take to adapt.

Anyway, this is all too many words. I'm trying to explain why I won't be able to come back with more story after a two week break, even though I have the next six-pack almost ready to go. I can write. I can reorganize the site (and I need to do that, the theme and the global colours are just stupid, and all my pattern blocks are malfunctioning). I can open a new bank account and put together a Ko-Fi page (after Patreon gets rid of my data - they only have a couple more days to do that within their 30-day limit!!). I can't illustrate. Nobody's going to stop scrolling and look at this shit in their feed if there's no images, and I'm not resorting to stock photos or AI.

I want to get to the point where I can spam my followers with something I'm proud of that looks nice, and send them to a site that I'm also proud of and which looks nice. I want more readers, but I don't feel right asking for them when everything's falling apart, including me.

So, I'll be here, but there won't be more story for a while. At least give me until the 20th, that'll be three months out from the surgery and I should be fairly well healed by then. It's just that I have this stamina issue nobody warned me about and no timeline for that. Almost like it doesn't matter. Hey, you can see without glasses! 20/20! Like we promised! Does it really matter if it expires without warning? It works when you read off the chart the first time and that's all you need, right?

No. I told you people I was an artist. You don't seem to be reviewing my chart and god alone knows if you even wrote it down, but you did ask me and I told you. This is not enough.

We'll see what the next few weeks will do for me. I hope like hell I'll be back soon with another six - words AND pictures.

[Back to Site?]

[putschki1969]

C.C.C. Live Stream Ambient Border: Hikaru Guest Appearance

Sorry, I am a bit late with these news. Hikaru was a guest at today’s live stream on the C.C.C. YouTube Channel. Thankffully, the video got archived. Hikaru is talking about her upcoming appearance in the stage play “Ambient Border” in which she will play the character “Asebi”. A majority of the broadcast was dedicated to a section with 100 rapid fire questions, some of the stuff was kinda interesting because but overall nothing too exciting. Look beneath the cut for a rough summary!! On a side note, Hikaru is wearing a hoodie that’s part of the official merchandise (not on sale anymore tho).

『アンビエントボーダー』プレイベント『Ambient Border -DAWN-』 Event title: “Ambient Border -DAWN-” Venue: Akihabara Talk Live BAR from scratch Date: December 17 【Day】OPEN 14:30 / START 15:00 (~2h) 【Night】OPEN 18:30 / START 19:00 (~2h) Tickets: Ticket with XMAS Present:¥4,000＋１drink(￥500) Pre-order ticket: ¥3,000＋１drink(￥500) Door ticket：¥4,000＋１drink(￥500)

『アンビエントボーダー/Ambient Border』 ・ Date: 2023, Feb 01 - Feb 05 (8 performances in total） 2/1 19:00 2/2 19:00★ 2/3 14:00★ / 19:00★ 2/4 13:00★ / 18:00★ 2/5 12:00   / 16:00★ ★ A different mini live is scheduled to take place after the performances ★ Hikaru’s mini live is scheduled for the 1st performance on February 3 ・ Location: CBGK Shibugeki !! Check out ALL Ambient Border NEWS HERE!

100 Questions with Hikaru

Rough summary of Hikaru’s 100 Rapid Fire Questions:

Name: Hikaru | Sex: Female | Birthday: July 2 | Age: 35 | Height: 155cm | Dominant hand: Right-handed but holds microphone in left hand | Grip strength: ~30kg | Shoe-size: 23cm; Feet are small but wide | Blood type: 0 | Birthplace: Toyama | Uni club activities:? | Favourite sport: None | Any lessons she took: Piano, tennis, drums, musical | Part-time jobs: Nursery, Doutor, family restaurant, hotel lobby | Current hobby: Sleeping, reading, watching TV etc | Special skill:None | Motto: Persistence pays off | Why: Because finding the will to continue is always hard | Siblings: 1 younger sister | Pet you would want?: Something small | Favourite food: Egg and chicken | Least favourite food: Everything she cannot handle even if she tried to give it a try again and again | Favourite train station: Toyama Station | Why: Because it’s her hometown | Favourite animal: Small animals | Least favourite animal: Bugs | Favourite colour: Black, white, red, blue | Favourite season: When it’s not too hot or too cold | Favourite day of the week: No idea, she likes all of them | Dream for the future: Continue singing | Recent present that made her happy: No recent presents from anyone but she gave a neat present to Keiko | Something you want recently: ? | Special meal to cook: Anything you just need to boil | Favourite electronic device: Microwave | What to put on fried egg: soy sauce | What’s best to combine with rice: Mentaiko | Favourite brand: Nothing specific | Believe in destiny: Yes | Any place she is happy to have visited: Every place she has visited | Any place she wants to visit: Every place she hasn’t visited yet | Favourite TV program: Moya stuff | Favourite drama: Doesn’t watch it | Favourite film: Before Sunrise | Favourite Japanese comedy: Moya Moya Summers | Favourite anime: too much but basically everything by CLAMP - she s dying to see the X-Series finished  |  Favourite character: Too many | Favourite manga: Too many | Some voice actor questions with some random names I don’t know | How many hours of sleep: 3-5 | Ideal date: At home | Something that hasn’t changed in her life: She never lies and she is stubborn | Any fetish: Legs | her charm point: She asks the viewers | If she had to compare herself to an animal: Sloth | Favourite 4-character-idiom: 温故知新 = gain new sights by studying the past | Favourite game/pastime as a child: Puzzle | Nickname as child: Hikaru, Hi-chan | Recent happy moment: When singing | How does she reward herself: Sleeping, reading, manga, anime | Favourite artist: Beyonce | Favourite genre: R’n’B | Favourite song: Too many but she loves Ambient Border atm | Play any instruments: She took some piano and drum lessons but hasn’t played in ages | Instrument she would like to play: Anything with strings but mostly guitar or bass but her hands might be too small | Biggest fail during a live: Dropping her microphone | Favourite venue: She loves all of them | What do you want to it right now: Donuts | If she could return to her student days: If there is something she wants to do, she won’t hesitate to do it | Favourite miso soup ingredient: Wakame, onions and egg | Sweet or savoury: Both | Are her drawings any good: No | Big smile for the viewers | One suggestion to do something: Get a ticket for Ambient Border | One suggestion to stop doing something: Stop hesitating to subscribe to her YouTube channel | Favourite Ambient Border character: ? | Highlight of Ambient Border: The fact that it is very entertaining | Favourite oden ingredient: radish, konyaku, egg | Non-negotiable policy: Stand by one’s beliefs and refuse to bow | Words that made her happy: Any praise really | Something she likes about herself: She has no idea | Something she would like to improve about herself: Her inability to deal with sudden changes  | A habit: Always using formal speech in mails | If you could bring one item to an inhabited island, what would it be: Knife | What #2 in your Top 10 of all-time favourite things: Singing | Most expensive thing she has bought recently: Nothing really | What would you do if you weren’t a singer: Teacher of young kids in nursery school | Favourite gesture of the opposite sex: | What would you tell Hikaru from 10 years ago: Let’s do our best | What would you like to ask Hikaru 10 years from now: What are you doing? | If you could time travel, where would you go: She would rather not travel through time | Challenge she would like to take on: Compose songs | What would she do on the last day of earth: Meet people she wants to meet, eat what she wants to eat, just do normal stuff | What’s your personal Ambient Border: Chance and opportunity | Final few words: Everyone go see Ambient Border.

[havendance]

I suppose I shall also blog the santa comics.

Superman's Christmas Adventure #1:

Zahri and Ink have already covered this one fairly well, but we've got toy soldiers attacking Grouch and Meany Babes in Toyland style!

Narration: At the signal from Santa, thousands of toys come to life! Grouch and Meaney are taken by surprise... under the toy soldiers' barrage, they retreat Grouch (I think): What! This is impossible!

And of course, the triumph of the christmas spirit!

Narration: Grouch releases the captive Lois-- Superman: Lois! Grouch: Meaney and I want to apologize to you, too, miss! Lois: No apologies are necessary. If you've got the true xmas spirit, I'm satisfied!

League of Comics Geeks lied to me and said that santa was a character in Batman #39, which he did not. (We did get Batman disguised as Santa though.

Naration: But Santa and his assistant see the Robbery... Batman: This is it! Strip for action, Robin! Narration: And for the second time in their careers, the duo wears white camoflage! Robin: The last time we wore these suits was in "The Case of the Nort Pole Crimes"-- remember? Batman: Yes... The white blended with the snow and we caught the crooks by surprise--as we will now--I hope!

They're wearing their specialty snow costumes underneath! Also this issue:

Narration: And soon... Guy 1: The Batmobile! Guy 2: Poor Batman and Robin never get a holiday! Crooks don't even respect Christmas!

Poor Batman and Robin never get a holiday!

Action Comics 105:

Santa: (Groan) It's as I feared. I'm unable to squeeze down an average sized chimney! Superman: A diabolically clever plot!

Santa gets poisoned by yet another villain who hates Christmas and becomes to big to fit down a chimney!

Superman proceeds to spent the next several pages scaring/otherwise torturing poor santa to make him loose weight. He's being very heroic.

In the end, Santa's able to fit down the chimney again, but our villain has drugged the reindeer so Superman has to carry Santa's sleigh again:

Superman: And a Merry Chirstmas to all!

Skipping all the rudolph comics for now, on to Shazam #11

The first story in this comic pits Billy against expanding jello which threatens to take over the city! The final story is the one where Santa shows up.

Narration: The world's maddest scientist, Dr Sivana, sits and broods with his equally mad son and duaghter, Sivana Jr. and Georgia. Sivana: Christmas... Bah! Sivana Jr: Humbug! Georgia: Fooey!

The world's maddest scientist and his equally mad children plot against christmas!

The Marvels stop him and in the end, they give him a christmas present -- spreading christmas cheer is the throughline here.

Sivana: You can't stop us! Remember--we're the rightful rulers of the universe! Mary Marvel: You've been saying that for a long time... that's why we brought you this Christmas Present! Sivana: Golly, gee whiz! No one's ever given me a present before! Sivana jr: Aww... It's just a book... Georgia: ... called "The Universe"! Mary Marvel (off panel): And it's all yours!

[techpedo]

Queen Elizabeth never revoked Prince Harry's security, court papers prove | World News

New Post has been published on https://www.techpedo.com/queen-elizabeth-never-revoked-prince-harrys-security-court-papers-prove-world-news/

Queen Elizabeth never revoked Prince Harry's security, court papers prove | World News

Court documents have revealed the late Queen Elizabeth II considered it “imperative” for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex to have “effective security” after leaving the working Royal family.

Prince Harry, late Queen Elizabeth II (File Photos)

Sir Edward Young, on behalf of the Queen, emphasized the importance of their safety due to the Duke’s public profile, military service, and history of targeting by extremists.

Stay tuned with breaking news on HT Channel on Facebook. Join Now

The documents reveal the Palace’s insistence on security for the Sussexes, emphasizing the importance of safety for the family, citing the past tragic incidents and invoking the memory of Princess Diana.

ALSO READ| High Court backs Daily Mail’s ‘honest opinion’, rules out Prince Harry in the libel lawsuit

The Palace recognized the independent processes for the provision of publicly funded security, involving the UK Government, the government of Canada, and other host governments.

Contradicting the narrative that the Sussexes were cut off by the Royal family after leaving Britain, the documents challenge Prince Harry‘s portrayal of the Palace’s attitude toward his security situation. He had expressed distress and fear about life without UK personal protection officers, describing it as an “obligation” and “implicit promise” from the Palace. However, the decision regarding security does not fall to the Royal family but lies with the independent committee Ravec.

‘Always be much-loved family members’: Queen Elizabeth

The Duke’s discussions about security after leaving the Royal family, detailed in interviews and his autobiography, portrayed his desperation to retain security. The court case revolves around whether Prince Harry made a genuine offer to pay for his own security and if that message was communicated to decision-makers. The judge ruled that the Mail on Sunday may argue that Prince Harry’s team misled the public about his offer to pay for security.

The late Queen’s sentiment about the Sussexes was one of familial care, stating they would “always be much-loved family members.” After moving to Canada, where they initially received publicly funded security, they eventually sought refuge with Tyler Perry in California, including security offered by him.

ALSO READ| Prince William, Kate Middleton, and children embrace Xmas cheer in white ‘Royal Christmas Card’

The case, set to go to trial, delves into the Duke’s security discussions post-Royal family departure. Tensions between the Duke and Sir Edward Young have been noted, with Harry claiming Young’s involvement in discussions was inappropriate due to personal tensions. However, representatives argue the relevance of personal tensions in the Duke’s change in status when stepping back from royal duties.

The trial is anticipated to explore details surrounding the security arrangements and Prince Harry’s alleged offer to fund his own security, shedding light on conflicting narratives between the Sussexes and the Royal family.

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[europeincomingei]

3 Famous Christmas Markets in Europe

As the holiday season approaches, Christmas markets throughout Europe start to brighten the streets with dazzling decorations, tasty food, and enchanting festivities. Bavaria, a state in southerly Germany, is renowned for its stunning landscapes, historical communities, and standard customs. Throughout the Christmas season, Bavaria's cities and also towns come alive with cheery markets that draw in visitors from all over the globe. The Bavarian Christmas markets are identified by their wood huts embellished with vivid lights, handcrafted accessories, as well as complex wood makings. Site visitors can explore the marketplaces' varied offerings, consisting of warm mulled white wine, baked chestnuts, gingerbread, and typical Bavarian sausages. One of one of the most popular Christmas markets lies in the city of Munich. The Munich Christmas market, called the Christkindlmarkt, is held in the city's Marienplatz square as well as features greater than 150 stalls marketing every little thing from handmade crafts to cheery treats. Austria is one more nation well-known for its charming Christmas markets. From Vienna's royal majesty to Salzburg's enchanting appeal, the Austrian Christmas markets provide an one-of-a-kind blend of practice as well as style. The Austrian markets are famous for their handcrafted goods, such as glass ornaments, wooden playthings, and also handmade candle lights. Site visitors can also enjoy the country's cooking specializeds, consisting of hot delicious chocolate, roasted almonds, as well as conventional Austrian pastries like strudel and Sachertorte. Among one of the most stunning Austrian markets is the Vienna Christmas Desire, held in front of the city's renowned Rathaus. The marketplace features over 150 stalls, an ice skating rink, and also a giant Development wreath. Switzerland's Christmas markets are renowned for their attractive hill settings as well as festive ambience. From the coasts of Lake Geneva to the optimals of the Swiss Alps, the Swiss Christmas markets supply an one-of-a-kind blend of Swiss appeal and also holiday joy. The Swiss markets are understood for their handmade items, consisting of ceramic, timber carvings, and also stitched textiles. Site visitors can additionally sample Swiss specials such as raclette, fondue, and also hot delicious chocolate. One of the most enchanting Swiss Christmas markets is the Montreux Christmas Market, situated on the shores of Lake Geneva. The marketplace features over 150 stalls, an ice skating rink, and also a large Xmas tree enhanced with countless lights. Finally, the Bavarian, Austrian, as well as Swiss markets use a distinct chance to experience the magic of the holiday season. Whether you're searching for handmade gifts, tasty food, or festive entertainment, these markets make sure to captivate visitors of every ages. So why not intend a trip to one of these markets and also submerse on your own in the cheery spirit of the holiday season?

[musicveinuk]

Review: White Xmas Lies by Magne Furuholmen

Review: White Xmas Lies by Magne Furuholmen @magnef

As Christmas albums go, they’re generally like the bubble n squeak of Boxing Day – nothing spectacular no matter how you zhuzh it up.

Still, earworms of white christmas’, mistletoe, warm fuzzy feelings and family are what we crave, so Magne Furuholmen turns that upside down with his pensive ‘White Xmas Lies’.

Here Magnefocus’ on loneliness, empty relationships, false promises and lack of…

[rollingstonemag]

Un nouvel article a été publié sur https://www.rollingstone.fr/interview-magne-furuholmen/

Magne Furuholmen (a-ha) : l'interview-fleuve

Plus connu comme claviériste et co-compositeur du groupe a-ha, Magne Furuholmen est aussi un artiste graphique mondialement reconnu.  Alors que le groupe démarre une tournée internationale (qui passera par la France le 9 novembre) accompagnée par la réédition de plusieurs de ses albums, Magne sort son troisième opus solo, White Xmas Lies, le 25 octobre. Présenté comme un ‘antidote à la mièvrerie des chansons de Noël’, cet album se révèle bien plus profond, à la fois émotionnellement très riche, sombre et mélancolique et révèle Magne Furuholmen, pour le meilleur, sous un autre jour, bien loin des agitations du trio norvégien. Rencontre avec un artiste hypersensible aux multiples talents

Pourquoi avoir choisi Noël pour thème principal de cet album solo ?

J’aime travailler dans des espaces que j’ai définis moi-même. Plus le thème est restreint, plus il est difficile, mais aussi libérateur car vous n’avez rien d’autre à gérer. Il y a quelques années, en me promenant sur la 5ème avenue à New York, j’ai vu, devant des magasins de luxe, des sapins de Noël vaporisés de neige artificielle avec des montres Rolex en guise de boules de Noël. Cela m’a vraiment écœuré. À cette époque, je traversais une sorte de dépression. Je pensais que le monde était devenu fou, que l’Art ne pouvait plus le sauver et qu’il nous fallait un nouveau départ. Mes enfants étaient déjà grands et Noël n’était plus une belle réunion de famille mais une période où il était devenu difficile de trouver un cadeau dont ils avaient vraiment besoin, où on perdait notre temps à acheter des merdes dont personne ne voulait vraiment. Noël s’est totalement éloigné de ses valeurs d’origine : sacrifice, charité et intégration. Ce sentiment s’est accru car chaque année, pour des raisons bassement commerciales, Noël commence toujours plus tôt et se termine plus tard. Les gens peuvent dire ce qu’ils veulent sur la chanson Last Christmas de George Michael, mais pour moi c’est une chanson de Noël pleine de sens. Maintenant, tout ce qu’on nous sert ce sont des reprises de reprises de chansons.

L’album a pourtant un côté très sombre et mélancolique…

Quand j’ai annoncé à mes amis que j’avais fait un album de Noël sombre et mélancolique, la plupart d’entre eux ne l’ont pas trouvé si sombre mais plutôt réconfortant. Mais ce sont des Norvégiens ! Ce n’est pas non plus un guide pratique du suicide ! (rires) Ça me paraît inconcevable que quelqu’un sur cette planète n’ait pas des moments à Noël où il/elle questionne sur l’idée de vacuité. Je me suis toujours senti en sécurité et je suis particulièrement conscient de la chance que j’ai eue dans la vie, même si j’ai connu des moments difficiles comme la mort prématurée de mon père. Tout le monde a des problèmes. Mais je pense que le contraste est particulièrement éprouvant pour les personnes qui ont de réelles difficultés dans la vie, d’être si clairement reléguées à la marge de la société. Imaginer le sentiment d’être exclu m’a profondément touché, et faire quelque chose pour aider est un des buts que je me suis fixé en réalisant cet album. À l’époque, on pouvait sortir une chanson et récolter de l’argent pour des œuvres de charité, mais ce n’est plus vraiment possible aujourd’hui. J’ai donc décidé de donner un concert gratuit à l’Armée du Salut pour les sans-abri d’Oslo. J’ai financé l’album moi-même et j’ai reçu de l’aide pour financer ce concert de la part d’amis du milieu qui sont dans le même état d’esprit. J’espère porter ce projet dans d’autres pays dans les années à venir.

Le premier single que vous avez sorti, « This Is Now America », est une réponse directe à l’administration de Trump. Vous vous sentez concerné par ce qu’il se passe dans le monde ?

Oui. Tout ce qu’il se passe dans le monde en ce moment me fait peur. Partout, l’axe traditionnel gauche-droite s’effondre. Je suis obsédé par la politique américaine, surtout depuis la candidature de Donald Trump. J’ai tout de suite compris qu’il allait gagner parce que les gens détestent les politiciens et rejettent le système. Ils se sentent insatisfaits et on peut comprendre pourquoi ils sont en colère. Pourtant, je ne comprends toujours pas comment ils ont pu penser qu’il était le meilleur choix. En France, l’élection d’Emmanuel Macron est aussi une sorte de révolte contre la politique traditionnelle à bien des égards, mais de façon beaucoup plus tempérée qu’aux États-Unis. Je suis du genre Groucho Marx. Je ne serais jamais membre d’un parti qui aurait des gens comme moi comme membres. Mes amis m’ont souvent reproché de ne pas avoir voté en Norvège, mais je pense qu’il était inutile de le faire parce que c’est une bonne chose pour nous d’avoir un changement de pouvoir tous les quatre ans. Cela évite l’arrogance du pouvoir. Pourtant, même si je ne vote pas, j’ai toujours des opinions très arrêtées et je n’hésite pas à m’exprimer. Je pense que je suis plutôt un centriste, je vois les bonnes choses des deux côtés. J’ai écrit cette chanson du point de vue d’une femme qui redécouvre sa jeunesse à travers un journal intime et qui est choquée de voir la différence entre ce qui se passait avant et ce qui se passe aujourd’hui. C’est une sorte de complainte sur une idée de l’Amérique qui n’existe plus.

Vous aviez un rêve américain ?

Depuis les années 60, l’Amérique est une sorte de Terre Promise, un symbole pour le reste du monde, la société où le concept de célébrité a été inventé. Avoir un rêve américain faisait partie du tableau pour nous, et arriver en Amérique en tant que jeunes popstars avec a-ha était complètement époustouflant ! Pourtant, il ne nous a pas fallu longtemps pour commencer à apprécier des pays comme la France où les gens étaient beaucoup plus réticents à nous aborder dans la rue.

Vous avez travaillé avec votre fils Thomas sur la vidéo de « This Is Now America ». Transmettre à vos enfants est important pour vous ?

Mes deux fils grandissent avec un scénario très différent du mien. J’avais un père qui était pratiquement inconnu du monde et je pouvais l’idolâtrer sans qu’il fiche cette image en l’air mais moi je suis partout dans leur vie. Je suis très conscient du peu de terrain vierge que je leur laisse. J’essaie de leur donner la liberté de choisir d’être aussi peu ou autant influencé par moi. Ils se sont tous les deux retrouvés dans les arts et ont choisi de poursuivre le dialogue avec moi. Ce sont mes amis les plus proches. Ils me demandent toujours ce que je pense et réciproquement. Ils n’ont pas peur d’avoir leur propre opinion, qui peut être différente de la mienne, et de me gronder quand je ne fais pas ce qui est juste.

Sur les 14 titres de l’album, vous avez enregistré deux reprises surprenantes, « Differences » d’a-ha et « Hells Bells » d’AC/CD, pouvez-vous nous dire pourquoi vous avez fait ces choix ?

Dans la création artistique, j’aime toujours prendre le contre-pied des choses. J’ai écrit « Differences » comme une sorte de prière, avec un fond de résignation, quand nous avons découvert la façon dont les Talibans traitaient les jeunes femmes. Cela m’a vraiment brisé le cœur de penser à toutes ces jeunes filles et femmes qui vivent dans des endroits soumis à une mentalité qui date de l’âge de pierre. Morten voulait l’interpréter au prix Nobel comme une ballade. J’ai toujours pensé que la chanson était beaucoup plus entraînante que ce qu’on en avait fait. C’est l’une des chansons les plus tristes que j’aie jamais écrites, mais sur cet album, c’est le morceau le plus lumineux et entrainant. Cela ne sert à rien de faire une reprise si vous ne faites pas quelque chose de radicalement différent. C’est important pour moi d’insuffler quelque chose de nouveau, même si c’est moi qui ai arrangé la première version pour a-ha.

C’est mon manager, grand fan de metal, qui m’a suggéré « Hells Bells » quand je lui annoncé que je voulais produire un album de Noël sombre et mélancolique. J’ai écouté la chanson et elle était tellement loin de moi que je me suis demandé ce qui arriverait si je la jouais à ma façon. Je voulais qu’elle sonne comme un mélange de « Stranger Things » et de Susanna and the Magical Orchestra qui fait de très belles reprises. J’ai gardé la première prise de voix et cela ne m’était jamais arrivé avant !

Pourquoi avoir choisi « Caprice des Dieux » comme titre de chanson ?

L’idée de cette chanson, que j’ai écrite en France, est née d’une discussion que j’ai eue avec une jeune femme franco-italienne qui aimait le fromage Caprice des Dieux. Je voulais savoir ce que cela signifiait en français et j’ai aimé le concept. Finalement, la chanson n’a rien à voir avec le fromage (rires). La chanson est une sorte de psaume. Je suis vraiment un compositeur de soul. Des chansons comme « Stay On These Roads » sont en fait de la musique d’église, comme la plupart des titres que j’écris. Même si je n’ai jamais été attaché à aucune église ou n’ai pas grandi dans un environnement particulièrement religieux, il y a toujours des éléments spirituels dans mes chansons.

C’est une des rares chansons où vous n’utilisez pas d’effets sur votre voix…

Je voulais en effet la garder à l’état brut. Je sais que j’ai une certaine paranoïa à propos de ma voix et je suis conscient que ma voix peut poser problème pour certaines personnes. Je pense que cela vient aussi du fait qu’on me compare à un mec (à savoir Morten Harket) qui a la voix d’un ange et les cordes vocales d’un taureau.

Je suis une personne fragile et brisée à la voix intime et douce… c’est vraiment ce que je suis.

Vous avez un jour cru au Père Noël ?

Oui et j’y crois toujours, d’une certaine façon (rires). Mes enfants n’y croient plus mais je pense que c’est un bon concept auquel se raccrocher en ce moment. Dans cet album, je ne suis pas un ‘Très méchant Père Noël’, mais plutôt un Père Noël triste.

C’est une image très différente de celle de trublion pétillant que vous avez dans le groupe a-ha…

Cela fait partie d’une dynamique de groupe. L’un des rôles que j’ai toujours eu dans le groupe était de désamorcer toutes sortes de tensions, de gênes, d’être une sorte le ciment social. Mais je suis quelqu’un qui réagit à mon environnement. Quand personne ne veut parler au public, c’est moi qui vais le faire, je vais faire les blagues et arborer mon plus beau sourire, parce qu’il faut bien que quelqu’un le fasse. On ne s’est pas rencontrés avec Pål Waaktaar parce que j’étais le mec ‘effronté’ et lui le mec ‘dark’. Nous étions tous les deux des mecs ‘dark’ mais il était introverti et j’étais un extraverti. J’ai utilisé ma nature extravertie pour séduire les directeurs des maisons de disques parce que nous avions besoin de le faire. Et Morten est une personne si excentrique et socialement maladroite ! On m’a collé cette satanée image de clown qui était extrêmement pénible et usante pour moi et je ne savais pas quoi en faire. Ça m’a tellement épuisé et dégouté que je me suis écrasé en plein vol et que le groupe s’est séparé en 93 après le concert de Rio.

Sur cette scène, au sommet de notre carrière, devant 200 000 personnes, je me suis senti complètement détaché du public et du groupe. J’avais besoin de remettre tous les compteurs à zéro, de me terrer dans une pièce et de faire quelque chose qui avait du sens à nouveau pour moi.

Dans cet album, je ne suis pas un ‘Très méchant Père Noël’, mais plutôt un Père Noël triste.

© Nina Djærff

Est-ce pour cela que vous vous êtes lancé dans une carrière solo ?

Je pense qu’il y a eu une combinaison de plusieurs facteurs. Je me sentais très frustré de ne pas pouvoir finir une chanson pour A-ha. Au début de notre carrière, ma mère étant professeure d’anglais, j’étais plus à l’aise avec la langue et mon rôle était de policer nos textes. J’ai aussi eu beaucoup de mal à écrire à la fois les textes et la musique, alors c’est devenu le rôle de Pål. Mais il y avait des chansons que je voulais vraiment finir moi-même mais il ne me laissait pas le faire car il voulait écrire les paroles lui-même. Puis, à partir de 1998, sur l’album Minor Earth Major Sky, écrire pour Morten c’était comme donner mes émotions à quelqu’un d’autre. J’ai eu l’idée du titre de l’album mais encore une fois, ils ne m’ont pas laissé finir les paroles et je ne voulais pas continuer à ajouter des riffs de clavier aux chansons de Pål sans être crédité. À peu près à la même époque, on m’a diagnostiqué une fibrillation auriculaire qui était liée au stress émotionnel. J’ai commencé à composer mon premier album solo à ce moment là car je me sentais mal de ne pas pouvoir pleinement m’exprimer. J’ai été en quelque sorte forcé de devenir un auteur-compositeur-interprète complètement autonome.

Considérez-vous l’art comme une thérapie ?

L’art est mon refuge depuis la fin des années 80. Je l’ai utilisé à des fins thérapeutiques. J’ai construit un mausolée pour mon père. J’ai essayé de comprendre et de gérer certaines choses grâce à l’Art, mais je ne le considère pas comme une thérapie parce que ce n’est qu’un aspect de la question pour moi. L’Art est aussi mon espace intime, religieux, où je me retire pour entrer en contact avec moi-même. Tout comme l’Amour, c’est presque impossible de le comprendre et de l’analyser pleinement mais c’est tellement puissant quand on le vit. L’Art m’engage intellectuellement, m’absorbe émotionnellement, me défie moralement, il a tous les aspects qui me permettent de me voir moi-même et de voir le monde d’un point de vue différent. J’essaie toujours de donner à mon travail l’immédiateté et l’intuitivité que j’aime dans la musique pop, mais il y a, si vous souhaitez creuser, plus de choses à trouver dedans. C’est la beauté de l’art.

Quel message aimeriez-vous transmettre au monde avec vos œuvres d’art ?

Il y a trois choses que j’ai faites toute ma vie : dessiner et peindre d’un côté, écrire de la poésie et faire de la musique de l’autre. Je cherche à relier entre elles toutes les formes d’art et à partager par les mots, les images et la musique, mon sens de l’émerveillement, de la découverte et ma curiosité. D’une manière ou d’une autre, j’arrive à accéder à des choses par ces canaux sans lesquelles la vie serait beaucoup plus misérable. Mais cela ne serait pas si magnifique si je ne pouvais pas le partager aux autres. Quand je montre une œuvre d’art, j’ai un enthousiasme très enfantin. Je pense que je me connecte à l’enfant qui est en moi. Même si je suis extrêmement structuré et organisé lorsque je travaille dans mon atelier, ce que je recherche c’est l’intuition, le hasard, le jeu et trouver du sens. Je crois que si une œuvre me transporte, elle peut transporter quelqu’un d’autre au même endroit et je crois que cet endroit est un lieu plus doux, plus inclusif et merveilleux que notre vie quotidienne. Pour moi, L’art offre cette part de magie.

Avec le projet Apparatjik (un groupe formé en 2008 avec Guy Berryman de Coldplay, Jonas Bjerre de Mew et le batteur/producteur Martin Terefe, ndlr), on voit mon côté ludique qui n’est pas celui du trublion d’a-ha, mais le Magne curieux, intrépide, prêt à tout affronter et explorer sous un autre jour. Nous nous sommes donné beaucoup de liberté en choisissant de ne pas avoir de manager ni de maison de disques et nous interdisant d’être négatifs sur quoi que ce soit ou qui que ce soit. Cette démarche faisait sens pour chacun d’entre nous qui avait déjà fait parti d’un groupe. Nous nous sommes tous sentis incroyablement libérés et cela nous a électrisés. J’ai toujours été attiré par le mouvement Dada. C’est une partie importante de mon état d’esprit.

Vous avez été commissionné en 2007 pour réaliser une œuvre sur le thème du changement climatique pour le Centre Nobel de la Paix. Vous considérez-vous comme un artiste ‘vert’ ?

Je m’intéresse vraiment à la nature, mais je ne peux pas dire que je suis un militant vert. J’ai beaucoup de respect pour les gens qui consacrent leur vie à de grandes causes. Nous ne savons pas à quel point nous sommes proches de la limite, mais je préfère rester optimiste et penser qu’avec une utilisation intelligente de la technologie, nous trouverons les moyens de nous en sortir. Morten et moi avions fait venir la toute première voiture électrique de Norvège depuis une conférence sur l’énergie solaire à laquelle nous avons assisté en Suisse. Avec A-ha, nous avons acheté des hectares de forêt tropicale pour essayer de la sauver ; nous avons acheté des fours solaires pour des villages africains. On a fait des choses auxquelles on croyait, mais ce n’est pas le but de ma vie. J’ai l’impression de ne pas en avoir fait assez et j’aimerais en faire plus maintenant. Avec cet album, j’essaie d’offrir un moment convivial pour Noël aux sans-abri d’Oslo. Je voudrais maintenant faire des actions concrètes à mon propre niveau.

J’ai été en quelque sorte forcé de devenir un auteur-compositeur-interprète complètement autonome.

Vous êtes reconnu en Norvège en tant qu’artiste peintre/sculpteur mais pas encore en France…

La France a toujours été un espace ‘hors du travail’ pour moi, mais c’est peut-être en train de changer. Je passe plus de temps dans la maison que nous avons dans le Sud depuis plus de 20 ans. Je me sens lié d’une certaine façon à la scène artistique française. Comme j’ai une double casquette artistique, je n’ai jamais été très proactif pour me faire connaître en tant qu’artiste graphique. J’ai eu la chance d’avoir des gens pour acheter mes œuvres et pouvoir en produire davantage. Je crois que mon travail parlera mieux de lui-même que si j’essayais de convaincre les gens. Mon histoire avec A-ha reviendra toujours sur le tapis. Si des critiques d’art français lisent l’histoire d’un musicien d’un groupe de pop des années 80 (qu’ils n’aimaient probablement pas de toute façon), cela déforme leur première impression de mon travail. Je pense que la patience n’est pas vraiment mon fort, mais je vais gérer mon impatience en réalisant de nouvelles œuvres et en continuant de croire en ce que je fais.

Sur votre compte Instagram, vous vous présentez comme « mi- humain/ mi- objet inanimé »

Je crois qu’ici je joue avec l’idée d’identité. Je vous dis :‘vous pensez me connaître mais vous ne me connaissez pas et voici mes masques mais je pourrais les enlever et vous montrer une autre réalité’. C’est ce que je ressens depuis que je me suis senti piégé avec A-ha dans les années 80 dans ce drôle de trublion. En fait, cela m’a presque détruit parce que je n’arrivais pas à en sortir tout seul. Je veux être libre de toutes attentes des autres et de moi-même. Je suis MOI, en tant que personne, mais je regarde aussi le monde à travers d’autres ‘moi’ par procuration, qu’il s’agisse de peintures, de sculptures ou d’objets, alors je m’étends à quelque chose qui est regardé ou pensé à ma place, mais quelque chose que j’ai moi-même crée. Ma vie a consisté, dans une certaine mesure, à éviter d’être défini.

View this post on Instagram

no day the same…from rehearsing for the tour yesterday to chainsaw-sculpture work today…to signing white xmas lies vinyls @ big dipper in oslo on wednesday! looking forward to it!! 🌪

A post shared by Magne Furuholmen (@magne_furuholmen) on Oct 17, 2019 at 2:32am PDT

Mais essayons quand même d’en savoir un peu plus sur vous…Quel est votre trait de caractère principal ?

Le refus de me conformer.

Votre principal défaut ?

Me renfermer après avoir été très extraverti et m’éloigner des gens après avoir été très présent dans leur vie. Je peux disparaître en moi physiquement et mentalement. Je peux quitter une fête pour aller m’allonger et dormir même si nous avons invité des amis à dîner. Il n’y a que deux boutons sur mon interrupteur : Marche et Arrêt. Je suis d’un côté ou de l’autre. Il n’y a pas de milieu avec moi.

Quelles qualités appréciez-vous le plus chez vos amis ?

J’ai beaucoup de types d’amis différents et je les apprécie tels qu’ils sont. J’apprécie sur un pied d’égalité l’honnêteté, l’ouverture d’esprit, l’intelligence et l’humour. J’aime l’excentricité et les gens qui me défient. J’apprécie également la loyauté, mais c’est moins important dans ma liste.

Quelle est votre idée du bonheur ?

Mon idée du bonheur, ce sont des moments d’épuisement après le travail, sans sentiment de culpabilité d’avoir sacrifié autre chose. Rendre les gens heureux, rire avec mes enfants, passer du temps avec ma famille tout simplement a beaucoup de sens pour moi, et je place cela au top de ma liste.

Et votre idée du malheur 

Devenir vieux et amer.

Si vous n’étiez pas artiste, quel métier auriez-vous pu exercer ?

Chercheur ou scientifique. Je fais beaucoup de recherches, mais je l’applique aujourd’hui à l’art.

S’il y avait trois chansons que vous avez écrites dont il faudrait qu’on se souvienne pour la postérité ?

Dans le répertoire de A-ha, je choisirais Stay on these roads, Scoundrel days et Manhattan skyline.

Quel est le dernier groupe que vous avez aimé ?

J’aime ce que fait Bon Iver. Et je viens de découvrir Tame Impala. Je les trouve très bons.

Pål Waaktaar nous a répondu la même chose lors de notre dernière interview…

Oh quelle déception ! (rires) C’est drôle parce que j’ai été vraiment déçu quand il a dit que nous n’avions pas les mêmes goûts musicaux. Là, vous avez une preuve que ce n’est pas vrai !

Pensez-vous vraiment, comme vous l’avez écrit récemment sur Instagram : « qu’aucun jardin n’est parfait sans une énorme licorne » ?

Oui (rires) ! C’est mon sens de l’humour… tel que vous me connaissez. Ce type est toujours là, quelque part… mais vous savez, j’ai de multiples facettes !

Propos recueillis par Alma Rota

Commander l’album White Xmas Lies

Commander White Xmas Lies sur Amazon

Suivre Magne Furuholmen sur Instagram

Tout savoir sur la réédition de Minor Earth Major Sky et Lifelines

[creativepromptsforwriting]

Fic Titles: Alphabet W-X

Take one and start to create!

W

Waiting for something

Wake-up call

Waking up with you by my side

We are all sinners

We are enough

We lost ourselves

We only need each other

We rose from the ashes

We thought we could win

We were kings and queens

We were strangers

We’re here to stay

Weary of the world

Welcome to the madhouse

Well-kept secrets

Well, count me in

Will it ever happen?

What happened in the dark

What the heart wants

What we do behind closed doors

What we fear

What we never wanted

What we’ve never been told

When angels sing

When our time runs out

When stars collide

When the lights go out

When the night is gone

When the sun sets

When the world met you

When we had it all

Whenever you’re ready

Where did we go wrong?

Where the wind takes us

Wish you were here

Whispered conversations

White roses and pink blushes

With every breath we take

With open arms

With tears in my eyes

Without a complaint

Without a qualm

Without you by my side

Who am I to judge?

Who we used to be

While you were asleep

Willing to let go (and fly)

Wonders of the world

Words left unspoken

Words that are lost

Worn down to the bone

Worry in your eyes

Worse than yesterday

Worth the pain

Worth the trouble

Wrecks and how to fix them

Write stories on my skin

Written in the stars (lies our destiny)

Wrong answers only

Wrong place, right time

X

X marks the spot (come find me)

X’s and O’s (kiss me where no one can see)

Xenon lights (blinding me)

Xmas Party

Find more titles: A-C|D-F|G-I|J-L|M-O|P-R|S-T|U-V|Y-Z + Numbers

All the Fic Titles.

If you like my blog and want to support me, you can buy me a coffee! And check out my Instagram!🥰

[gerec]

MORE THOUGHTS ABOUT SHANG-CHI AND THE LEGEND OF THE TEN RINGS !!!

Heads up that this entire post is riddled with spoilers, though I'm going to try to keep them hidden under the cut :D

**SPOILERS***

The movie starts off with an absolutely banging prologue, which is basically 15 mins (roughly) of set up that tells the story of Wenwu and the Ten Rings. It's spoken entirely in Mandarin, and we get back story about Wenwu - how the Ten Rings made him immortal, and he's used them for a thousand years to amass a vast organization that covers the globe. Then we get his meeting with Jiang Li who turns out to be Shang-Chi's mom, and their first meeting is that gorgeous bamboo fight in the trailers that is absolutely SWOON WORTHY and the sexiest, most romantic stuff EVER SEEN in the MCU. This entire segment is actually my favorite part of the movie lol, and actually reminds me of the way X-Men Apocalypse is structured, with that sequence with En Sabah Nur in ancient Egypt kicking things off (incidentally that was my favorite part of XMA too lol).

There were a LOT of close-up shots of Tony Leung's face (I know because I was LOOKING); they did not let an ounce of that man's on-screen presence/charisma go to waste.

I enjoyed Simu Liu as Shang Chi, but I don't really have a strong opinion about his performance. He was great in the fight scenes, charming in his scenes with Katy, and had good sibling chemistry with Xialing. He's weakest in his scenes with Tony Leung, mostly because TL sets the bar so high it's pretty much impossible to match his ability to deliver nuance or convey his state of mind.

There's quite a bit of flashback that's interspersed throughout the movie, which I LOVED; they really enhanced the story and the relationships by showing what happened at various times between Wenwu, the kids and their mother. I especially loved the way they would show the same scene from different POVs, or shift it about 1 min before or after to show us new information as the story progressed. It's my favorite story telling conceits just A+++.

I've said this before but it's worth repeating...the action IS great, and the sequences are some of the best ever in the MCU. BUT I didn't walk away thinking it was the best thing EVER, simply because I grew up watching kung fu movies so the bar is pretty fucking high lol. It's probably why I liked the bus scene more than the scaffolding fight scene; there's a lot of ingenuity and use of space in the first scene that I hadn't seen before, whereas I feel like I've seen a variation of the second scene in a hundred Jacky Chan movies.

People who were under-utilized in the movie - Michelle Yeoh as Shang-Chi's aunt and the actor who played Death Dealer. There was so little screen time given to their characters, and except for one short fight (Jiang Nan with Shang-Chi, and Shang-Chi with Death Dealer) we didn't get to see them in action. I would have much preferred cutting down on the big CGI monster mash to focus on more one on one battles, possibly even between these two characters!

The battle between Wenwu and Shang-Chi in Ta Lo (the climax) is so emotional and so well done; they were really able to use the action to tell the complicated relationship between father and son. In fact, it's truly excellent until the requisite monster mash (giant bat thing called Dweller in Darkness shows up and starts throwing down with the big white dragon Great Protector) and then it just deteriorates into a loud, jumbled, hard to see mess of CGI. Maybe because I'm Chinese the imagery of a big dragon in flight wasn't new or all that impressive, so I'm going to assume that ymmv with the third act depending on how you feel about CG monsters. Incidentally my kids both loved it :D

Though I understand it completely from a story telling perspective (it's a great and resonant ending for Wenwu to sacrifice himself for his son) and also from a casting perspective (no way Tony Leung is going to come back and play the same character again in anymore movies lol) I was still disappointed that his character was killed off. He was SUCH a wonderful, interesting, COMPLICATED antagonist, and Marvel really needs to stop killing off their best villains in one off movies lol.

Everybody always makes such a fuss about the post credit scenes I mean...sure we saw Carol Danvers and Bruce Banner but did they really contribute anything to the scene itself lol? I AM curious about the second scene with Xialing taking over the Ten Rings organization though...I hope that sets up some conflict for the siblings in the future to work through.

This movie wouldn't be nearly as good if they hadn't gotten Tony Leung to play Wenwu; he's really that awesome/central to the story. Seriously A+++++++++ to Marvel for getting him onboard.

[fratboykate]

May I try and address that anon on your behalf?

There's a difference between having a flawed character in your narrative and having the narrative reward a flawed character with little to no grown on their part. Let's break Harper down to her actions shall we?

Harper started the story lying about being out and promising a Christmas together that wasn't feasible in the environment they were headed to.

She followed it up by lying the next day in an effort to take back that promise without admitting to the lie of the night before and the ongoing lie of their last year together, the lie about her coming out to her parents and them being accepting of it.

When that lie didn't change Abby's mind, Harper waited until they hit the point of no return before confessing to Abby and convincing her to go along with the lies she's telling her parents, on the promise that she'll tell them in the foreseeable future but not yet. (this was another lie, I think. More on why later.)

She watches her girlfriend, barely a minute in the door, getting treated like shit by her family repeatedly and stays quiet the entire time. (Their treatment of Abby was unacceptable regardless of who they believed she was to Harper.)

Dinner! We find out Harper lied about a vacation story and left out the fact her ex boyfriend was there at the time because... Why? I still haven't figured it out.

Gifts! The white elephant thing is clearly some time honored, important tradition in the house and Harper just failed to mention it. She clearly remembered because she wasn't worried about one for herself so it simply didn't cross her mind that this might be setting Abby up to fail with her family.

The Mall! She gets accused of theft and Harper, to her small credit, seems to defend Abby off camera but ultimately decides to take her family's side and abandon her to spend the day alone in a town she doesn't know, with no one to keep her company. (Again, shitty regardless of who Abby is to Harper.)

Hetero bar night! She promises to meet up after dinner, they'll get together! It'll be about them! They'll have some time to get back to normal! Or... maybe they'll hang out with her ex boyfriend and her old friends and leave Abby at the bar alone while they white girl dance and shit. So there's another lie for the books.

Abby gets tired of being the 5th wheel everyone's ignoring anyway and wants to leave so Harper tells her to go back herself. To the house where everyone thinks she's the little orphan thief, because she's clearly feeling so welcomed there.

Stays out all night flirting(don't tell me she wasn't, just cuz she didn't intend to follow through don't mean it didn't happen) with her ex and gets mad when Abby has feelings in her presence the next day.

The xmas party! Harper's back at it with an old hit called: ignore my girlfriend, talk with my old friends only and flirt with my ex! This time while she watches! But then she gets outed and does what we know at this point she does best, lies! She denies her sexuality, denies her relationship and does it while her girlfriend is there to see and hear.

Then we get to the part where she's seen the light or whatever the hell you think this was.

Harper stops lying and admits to everything, says she was scared and her parents were unloving dicks. (And this scene I liked for the sake of all three sisters. Those things needed to be aired and a 'come to jesus' moment had to happen for them.)

Harper tracks Abby's phone(wtf?!?) and asks for forgiveness.

End of list. Maybe also she's a good kisser idk.

Bear in mind, I've skipped over Harper's other shitty actions. That's just the shit that impacted Abby specifically. Not taking Riley or Connor or even Jane into account. Can you not see the difference in shitty to bare minimum decent actions she took throughout the story? Let's be generous and say that first and last bullet points happened in moments of panic that's still a long list of unexcusable behavior on her part. But she's forgiven ANYWAYS because... Christmas? She said "oops, lemme get a take back?" She's in the closet so it's ok to be unendingly inconsiderate for years?

Fuck you. No. This was not okay behavior. These weren't actions to be swept under the rug with a 1 minute apology, no matter how heartfelt. That shit should have been addressed and not, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, rewarded with a happy ending 5 minutes later.

That's the kind of flawed character that has no place in anything we want to claim as good rep.

Another one that I don't need to add anything to.

[the-fiction-witch]

Xmas 2020

REAL LIFE: 

COUPLE: ASA X READER RATING: ADORABLE 

I sat under the tree trying to dig around under the tree looking for my presents looking around at all the little perfectly wrapped gifts checking all the tags.

“Y/n? What are you doing?” I heard Asa ask behind me so I came out from under the tree him stood in his shorts and his loose-fitting white shirt his arms crossed over his chest as he looked at me 

“Nothing… there was a mouse” I lied

“A Mouse? Really? We have two cats y/n. Why would you need to chase a mouse?” 

“Uhhhhhh it was eating into the presents” 

“Was it?” he asks “Where are you trying to find your presents?”

“Maybe” I blushed “I was just trying to see if there was a nice little box for me”

“A little box? What kind of little box?” he asks sitting with me 

“I don’t know… something pretty” I giggled nuzzling on his shoulder 

“Yeah? Well, as you're so curious? How about we get dressed and I take you to get one of your presents early?” He suggested

“Really Asa?”

“Really” He nodded so I gave him a kiss and ran upstairs to get changed. He followed me getting dressed too and grabbing his car keys. I sat in the passenger seat looking at the various things in a bag in the back footwell and I looked at him curiously as we drove through the busy snowy streets 

“Where are we going Asa?” I asked 

“Somewhere” he smiled as he drove 

“What’s my present?”

“You’ll find out”

“Why do I get it early?”

“Because it’s better if you have it early,” he says “And you won’t stop bugging me about it”

“Is it pretty?”

“It’s beautiful,” he says as he stopped the car in front of a house 

“where are we?” I asked

“Come on” he smiled offering his hand so I got out the car and took his hand as he leads me to the door of the house knocking a couple of times and the door opened 

“Ahh Morning Asa” a man smiled opening the door “You here for her?”

“Yep, Just uhh she doesn’t know” Asa laughed indicating to me 

“Awww I see well come on though she’s all ready for you” The man smiled as we headed to the house and to a small room where on a little pillow surrounded by toys I saw a little black

“KITTEN!” I smiled excitedly kneeling on the floor next to the pillow as the little kitten woke up opening its big blue eyes to see me, the little kitten got up and came over crawling into my lap 

“Like her?” Asa asks

“She’s so pretty” I smiled 

“Well she’s all yours y/n” he smiled sitting with me “merry Christmas sweetheart”

“Aww thank you Asa,” I smiled, giving him a tight hug “Can we take her home?”

“Of course” he smiled giving me a kiss “You wanna give her a name?”

“Kimi” I smiled

“Okay, let’s take Kimi home and let her meet her sisters”