#WhiteRaven96

[whiteraven96]

. Thursday, January, 11th, 2024. - K.L.C.

Congested with throbbing legs, paired with the morning sun peering in is how I felt when I first opened my eyes. Watering and tearing up; Squinting and unleashing my less than savy breath into the atmosphere. Hopefully nobody smelled it..

Cleaning up in the washroom while finishing the rest of a basic routine within my sleeping quarters; Focusing so intently on my eyes, I dress them up with a few eye tools, rather than makeup. The eyelash curler I used to brighten my eyes, relinquished the need for cosmetics for at least part of the day. I'm looking ready for anything.

I remove my Jewlery from various parts of my body and set it safely within my possessions. Just to let the skin breath; We all need a basic look once in awhile, in order to really appreciate our appearance.

Focusing on the fresh water running into the sink basin, I let it run into my hands. Rubbing them together gently to remove hidden dirt and oil. Once untarnished, I cup the clear liquid into my hands and start rubbing in circular motions and imagine porcelain. I grab my White soap and achieve a high quality lather to temporarily attach to my skin. Once the suds bubble and open my pores, I count to One Hundred Twenty (120). Grabbing my cloth. I exfoliate any imperfections away patting dry with another cotton cloth. Grabbing my high powered mouthwash, I spit that nasty taste out of my mouth and use my soft bristle to scrub away yesterday's stains. Minty fresh.

I pat my hands, fingers and palms dry up to 6 inches above my wrists. I can be a bit extra when it comes to my "basic routine". I walk back into my original space and set myself on my bed. I grabbed my Lavender colored hand mirror and show my rat tailed black comb to it. I adjust it gently to the roots and pull back; Creating volume while lifting at the crown area, Soft waves fall gently coiled at the ends releasing a fine designer scent.

I spray one more spritz of my current favorite perfume to entice my nostrils for a bit longer. Sipping slowly on my morning beverage to enjoy it's rich flavor and try to think what else I might consume. I am craving salt and sugar until it is driving me mad.

I walked into the kitchen to grab a cold spoon from the freezer instead of food. Letting it rest upon the dark circles under my eyes and watching them brighten almost immediately. The people I know were able to converse with me easier today compared to the unusual embarrassment I experience. It seems easier to breath. Removing my night wear, I slip into my casual threads to heighten my alertness.

A women's Dark Plum Cardigan with a basic black women's T-shirt on top; A pair of Robin's Egg Blue soft name brand loungewear pants under it. Colorblock tomboy socks to keep my feet stylish and protected.

I turned on the Flat Screen Television to indulge in various series available on Satellite beside the fireplace. Allowing the apartment to collect the warmth from the preset thermostat against the wall. Walking myself over to the area with the mirror facing forward beside it. Scanning the fireplace, I light a scented white candle with a long lighter to induce good feelings. Closing my eyes to relax, once I return to my original position, I begin to meditate.

[whiteraven96]

. Monday, January, 8th, 2023. - K.L.C.

I layed horizontally on the ornate carpet and fantasized for a portion of the day. Something about its plush texture has been very alluring as of lately. The Winter wind mixed with smoke from a nearby campfire of grill passed through the windows and freshened the staleness of my stagnance. It feels so good to be in a state of comfort. The Summertime was not the time to be so attached to rest. The motivation of getting around more will come back around once spring peeks it's head around the corner. I enjoyed a hot dish of Tomato soup. It's taste and texture was more rich than that. I could taste the pureed pumpkin, with potato hand crushed, with butternut squash tops, with plenty of tomato. I was delighted. Dried mangos paired with grilled cheese on the side made a unique meal. I didn't feel so famished like yesterday. I crunched on caramel corn and other flavors to cut off the cheese flavor. My emails haven't been looked through for a couple days as I coyly ignore them and read "gossip" websites for pleasure. My social media temporarily deactivated so I could get that "headspace" back. I set my device down to attend to a quick hair treatment. I tied down two elastics between a throughly combed and set bun. I fastened my bonnet to retain heat for a sleek and tame result. I sit straight and pretzel legged and become affixiated into a meditative state in order to clear my mind of what yesterday and the day before could have been. My introverted state has worried a few within the past couple weeks. I keep telling them I am fine. Which, I really am. This is how it has always been. I feel better than before. The warmth of the inside feels good paired with my closed attitude. I cannot stand to be in an outside state of observation. My extrovertedness will greet me more frequently when the daisies start peering from the mud.

[whiteraven96]

. Sunday, January 7th, 2023. - K.L.C.

I have felt an overwhelming sense of hunger the past few days. The urge was so strong that all of my anger came out ballistically. I hope these people ran away and got themselves something to eat too. Each meal is described thoroughly except I felt as if each morsel was being removed from me until I was sucked dry of pleasure. Until I am almost asking, begging and pleading with five people trying to guard my food. I was trying to muster up the courage to ask for something to my liking to be made, even though I truly love cooking for myself. I blankly stare around everywhere but the t.v. as it keeps reducing my appetite instead of the other way around. Something mundane seems to be projecting until I turn around. Food is the main focus. As if it is either one or the other, when I know it's just typically not that way. I loosen my posture and bend forward awkwardly, turning my head to the right fixing my gaze upon my smoking fixtures and accessories. I feel as though I just try to relax and get everything done within the day and grab at them hoping it makes me want to eat and interact more. I was hoping the beginning of this year could be for the better and not for the worst. I keep saying in my head, "it will be better in a few weeks."

Hot chicken breast with Orange sauce, paired with a side of peas is handed to me. Each bite is appreciated. I did not seem to scarf the whole plate down like I honestly "felt" like doing. I left a bit left on the plate. Somehow the food did not look as great if I did not almost swallow it whole. I enjoyed what I had. At least I was able to eat. I sucked down the last quarter of my carbonated Vanilla beverage. I cleared my space and closed my eyes for the evening. I felt too lazy and conservative of the bills to take that usually "luxurious" shower. I lulled myself to rest with the obsessive thoughts.