#Will's thoughts

[honeygrahambitch]

"Do you intend to point a gun at me?"

"Wouldn't you like that"

[will80sbyers]

Dear diary,

I guess Lenora is not that bad.

There is something good about this place, at least I am not "zombie boy" anymore.

It's been three months since we moved to this new place and I have not been bullied at school... yet. I'm trying to blend in the background because I don't need anyone paying too much attention to me. I don't feel safe in this place and I don't feel at home but I'm glad I can rest for a bit. I sometimes think they are laughing at me when I hear someone laugh in the corridor but it always ends up being my imagination... no one really knows who I am here. I'm just the new quiet kid to them, not the nerd or the queer kid or the kid that died and came back to life. I like it better this way, I mean, obviously I like better being invisible than being constantly ridiculed... who wouldn't? Well, actually, I'm not really invisible, some kids are trying to talk to me in class even if they are not succeeding much at getting close to me because I don't really know what to say most of the time... I'm starting to think some of them may be like me. They dress in a very particular way, I really like it but I know that's exactly what I can't start doing if I want to stay safe... and I can't be their friend either. I'm not brave like them and I just care about surviving and ending high school in one piece at this point. El is the one having problems at school, I feel bad for not having the courage to protect her in a better way, but in my experience talking back to the assholes only makes it worse. I don't really know how to help her, I'm just trying to be there for her and give her support when I think she needs it. I know she's strong. I think she was always stronger than me.

So, yeah, except for El's problems this place has been very uneventful for now, at least compared to the last year... and I hope it stays like this for me. I hope the stuff with the Upside Down is over for good. I have not felt the Mindflayer since the battle at the mall and I would like for that to be my new reality.

Things are not terrible but they are definitely not perfect.

I really miss my Party.

I really miss joking around with Lucas and talking about experiments with Dustin, I really miss listening to what Max thinks about the new issue of Wonder Woman. I miss them all and I really, really miss Mike most of all. Thinking about him makes me want to start screaming at the moment because he hasn't called me much and we haven't talked about anything important and I really miss his voice.

I don't know how to stop feeling like this for him. I don't think I remember a time when I didn't feel like this for Mike.

He is sending a lot of letters to El but ignoring me and I'm so angry at him because I thought we would be fine even if I had to move... I thought he did want to stay my friend at least, but I'm starting to think he doesn't.

I should have known that, since that fight we had last summer... things have been different between us.

I'm not sure if he knows about me... God, I really hope he doesn't. I don't want him to think that I'm weird too... I mean, I don't think he would? I hope he wouldn't feel like that, but I'm not sure. I can't even imagine what he would think if he knew how I felt about him. Would he be surprised? feel awkward? feel like I'm disgusting for having those thoughts about him?

I don't know.

I miss him so much and I'm going insane because I really try to avoid thinking about him when I can, but I'm constantly dreaming about him and it's like I can't escape my feelings.

I dream about us... I dream about things that make me feel really ashamed when I wake up in the morning.

The worst thing is that I don't really want to stop dreaming about him, about us. I dream about kissing him sometimes and I never even kissed anyone... I really wanted him to be my first kiss.

Sometimes I think it would have happened if things stayed how they were when I came back from the Upside down and El wasn't back yet... when he was focused on me instead of always thinking about girls, well, one girl.

The girl he loves.

I should feel bitter about knowing that he loves her, but I can't blame him. El is everything good in this world, and I want her to be happy. I want them to be happy. I really do want him to be happy even if he doesn't care about me anymore.

I think love is making me a fool, but I guess that's the only option for people like me, we can only be fools... dreaming about things that will never happen

[alleesaur]

doodling a bunny vs doodling a hare

[vilea777]

sorry i cant hang out i forgot how to mimic human like behaviour

[yeepof]

I understand that tall men are our POV characters, but surely being like a foot taller than everyone around them would have some occasional consequences

[twelvemonkeyswere]

not even JRR Tolkien, who famously developed the concept of the Secondary World and firmly believed that no trace of the Real World should be evoked in the fictional world, was able to remove potatoes from his literature. this is a man who developed whole languages and mythologies for his literary world, who justified its existence in English as a translation* simply because he was so miffed he couldn't get away with making the story fully alien to the real world. and not even he, in extremis, was so cruel as to deny his characters the heavenly potato. could not even conceive a universe devoid of the potato. such is its impact. everyone please take a moment to say thank you to South Americans for developing and cultivating one of earth's finest vegetables. the potato IS all that. literally world-changing food. bless.

[vimbry]

[casioaty]

Well if the shoe fish

[slutdge]

could you imagine trying to navigate this bar drunk, this is the 9th circle of hell

[hansoeii]

the honda odyssey, huh?

[razzafrazzle]

Just Checking In! (aka Something About Red Triangles)

[cartoonsinthemorning]

Since you guys liked Marcille as Kermit that much, it seems fitting to thank you for my 12k milestone with MORE Kercille. And this time, Miss Falin is also here.

Thank you so much again everybody! MWAH 💗

[callmemanatee]

The way most autism literature describes "literal interpretation" is often not at all similar to how I experience it. Teenage me even thought I couldn't be autistic because I've always been able to learn metaphors easily.

In fact, I love wordplay of all kinds. Teenage me was fascinated to learn all the types of figurative language there are in poetry and literature.

But paperwork and questionnaires are hard, because there's so much they don't state clearly. Or they don't leave room for enough nuance.

"List all the jobs you've had, with start and end dates." What if I don't remember the exact day or month? Is the year enough?

"Have you been suffering from blurred vision?" Well, if I take off my glasses the whole world is blurred, but I'm fairly sure that's not what the intake form at the optometrist is asking.

Or the infamous (and infuriatingly stereotypical) "Would you rather go to a library or a party?" What sort of party? Where? Who's there? I work at a library. Am I currently at the library for work or pleasure? Does it have a good collection?

It's not common figures of speech that confound me. It's ambiguity, in situations that aren't supposed to be ambiguous.

[problemnyatic]

"I would kill for you. I would die for you" would you take a break for me? Would you sit down and rest? For a day, a week, a year? Would you let others take care of your needs for me? Would you let yourself be held for me? By me?

[regina-cordium]

Guy just walked in with a shirt that said “I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them” and frankly I’m obsessed

[valtsv]

stuck between "psychological horror statement" and "objectively the funniest thing you could say to your real flesh and blood dad" in the father's day card aisle