#YOU CANT DISAPPOINT A PICTURE

[darkesttimelinedean]

I checked and it’s real!!!!

[rae-gar-targaryen]

All I want for my birthday en la mañana es for Danny to give me a book recommendation. Just kidding I don't want him to acknowledge my existence in any way because my entire person might disintegrate.

[pregnantsecondo]

If I ever met Tobias Forge I'd act like that one scene of Troy from community meeting LeVar Burton

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

it's polite to maintain eye contact!!!!

[modernlovez]

Meet & Greet

[oceancracker]

would u rather have a chief justice son grandpa or a wrath of the rock daughter

[milkweedman]

I also realized that today is the day I'm supposed to hear back from the museum on if either of the two pieces I submitted got in. Realistically I can't expect to hear back before 5pm and while I don't know the director myself, my sister is friends with her and from what I've heard she doesn't seem very organized or like. On time. But I'm already 100% sure they did not get in. I just know it lol

[gorgeousgreymatter-x]

a funny thing about me is I love fandom and fanfiction and gifs and cute photos of the actors that play the characters I like but you would have to kill me and weekend at bernies my corpse to get me to go to any con. Ever.

[grimmjow]

in the movie The Menu (2022) Chef Slowik decides to kill John Leguizamo because he was in an unfunny movie that Slowik watched on his one weekend off from work, and it killed a part of him so bad he decided the only way to remedy this was to kill that guy for being in the unfunny movie. I feel the same way about taika waititi

[myork]

girl r u ok

i WILL MEVER NE THE SMAME AGAIN

[snekdood]

"tumblr culture is-" NO! no its not! it is ~for you~, but your experiences and reality is not universal, my good bitch!

[flaphack]

the most parasocial i’ll ever get is that i find it really cool and awesome and connecting that patrick stump and i have face scars in the same exact place lmfao

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

It's a Match! || 141 x reader

[ Chapter 1 ] || [ Chapter 3 ]

Pairing: Soap x Reader || 141 x gn!Reader Words: 1K~ cw: a bit of dirty talking/innuendos Summary: While overcoming recent heartbreak, you decide to join Tinder in search of a rebound. Your friends advise to just Swipe Right indiscriminately... What happens when 4 soldiers from the same squad match with you?

Chapter 2: Johnny

“Oh, hello…” You remarked to yourself as your eyes locked into a stunning pair of blue eyes on your screen, stopping your mindless right-swipping. “...Johnny.”

“You’re 29… A soldier… Scottish… Are you friends with Kyle?” You mused playfully. “Let me guess, you’re a gym bro, aren’t you?” You asked sarcastically as you tapped your finger on the right side, skipping through his pictures. The first one immediately after was him lifting while wearing a weightlifting belt. “Yup… Mandatory gym pic.”

Chuckling to yourself, you snap a screenshot of his profile to the girls as well, sending it quick.

leah: @/mia Whatever good energy you sent its working. second hot guy in the last 5 minutes! mia: i lit a CANDLE for this!!!!! leah: there weren’t any handsome guys like this when i was on tinder?! 😫 UNFAIR. 🙄 you: blow it out then cause this is the 3rd actually. leah: 3rd??? Where’s number 2??? you: didn’t think to snap a screenshot. hasn’t matched me back yet. mia: has he posted a shirtless pic? you: kyle did and this one idk but probably. need to check. leah: Don’t forget to send it over.🥴

Shaking your head and laughing in amusement, you went back to Tinder, checking on ‘Johnny’. The mandatory gym pic was there… a couple of them in fact! And then the mandatory shirtless selfie. Or rather… The mandatory shirtless SELFIES. Plural.

Three of them… The first one was him just straight up wearing just a towel… And the next was him in a kilt… And the next was him with a button-up very much so unbuttoned. 

“Oh, my, Johnny-John-John… You sure know how to woo a bird…” You joked to yourself.

You dragged your finger down to check his bio and immediately frowned. “Of course…” You trailed off with a disappointed frown as you snuck another spring roll into your mouth.

He might be stupidly attractive, but his personality… Gosh, he doesn’t know how to sell himself. Boring, boring, boring. “I work out and like video games!” You quipped mockingly and scoffed a bit.

“Artist.” You remarked when you reached the last of his profile’s tags, spotting that word in the hobby section. “An artist? You?” You asked your phone screen as if Johnny would come alive in it and answer you. 

You’d admit, him calling himself an artist was intriguing enough, but normally that wouldn’t be enough to make you Swipe Right on him… But you’re not under normal circumstances. You promised your friends you’d Swipe Right on everyone so…

Your phone almost dropped out of your hand as soon as the ‘It’s a Match’ screen showed. “Of course… He’s probably swiping right on everyone as well…” Rolling your eyes, you go to click off the screen but accidentally enter DMs.

Johnny: ye have any scottish in you? you: not that i know of. Johnny: would ye like to? 🫦 Johnny: wait. wdym not that ye know of??? Johnny: i was trying to be filthy and now got me curious bonnie

“Fuckin’ hell…” You said as you set down your phone and covered your face before breaking into a fit of giggles.

The fact you had accidentally ruined his pick-up line and succeeded in stumping him got you very, very amused. Okay, maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t as boring as you thought.

you: story for another time. you: i walked right into that one tho. good job. Johnny: no ye cant do that Johnny: gotta tell me all about it now you: i mean werent scottish people everywhere in the uk at one point? you: i might be 1/370232103484320th scottish. Johnny: would ye like some MORE scottish in ye then? 🫦 you: solid attempt again. you: if you keep trying you might just get there. Johnny: i intend to dont worry you: soooo… Johnny: so? you: were you wearing underwear under the kilt? Johnny: no Johnny: why want a peek? 😏 you: i’m good you: so ur an artist? Johnny: i am Johnny: ur fast at typing fuck you: what kind? you: keep up then! Johnny: drawing Johnny: im trying 🥴 you: can i see some? Johnny: hanging with my mates difficult to text fast 😤 Johnny: idk if ull be in the mood to see anything after im done with ye you: why? 🤨 Johnny: might be too tired and need to be cuddled to sleep 😏 you: oh fuck off. Johnny: u just cursed me out Johnny: i think m in love 😫 Johnny: gonna tell my mates i just met my spouse 🥴🥴 you: don’t give them any ideas. you: haven’t even agreed to meet up with you. you: haven’t been invited in the first place. Johnny: meet up with me 🙏 Johnny: meet up with me 🙏 Johnny: meet up with me 🙏 Johnny: meet up with me 🙏 Johnny: meet up with me 🙏

Your eyes widened at his enthusiasm and persistence. Okay, he was definitely not boring… It was actually kind of endearing and funny!

you: jc r u copypasting that? Johnny: yes Johnny: are ye going to or not you: can i get back to you on that? Johnny: ill wait for ye you: sure you do that johnny Johnny: ow the sarcasm burns

Concealing a chuckle, you clicked off the DMs page for the second time tonight… but, this time, you closed the app and focused on eating dinner.

Sure, this whole dating app thing was stupid, but at least you were enjoying yourself. 

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IF THE GIF DOESN'T WORK FOR YOU: CLICK HERE

taglist: @daisychainsinknots , @bunnysdaydreams , @iite-cool , @lahniu , @pagesfalling , @tapioca-milktea1978 , @live-love-be-unique , @thelaisydazy , @littleghosthoney , @bossva , @emotion-no-hot-yes-hotel-trivago , @chamomiletealeaf , @ghosts-hoe

[usedtobecooler]

thinking about eddie being a grower not a shower and being self conscious about it until you show him how much you love it

warnings: sexual content 18+, piv sex, handjobs, size kink (but not in that way yk)

it’s not that you’d intentionally noticed it before. it was just that. well—

there wasn’t necessarily anything to look at when you did. eddie’s cheap, starchy jeans didn’t give anything away, fabric so thick that it concealed pretty much everything below. and you didn’t care about size, never had, but it was the first time you’d ever truly struggled to picture what you’d be working with once you got there.

he’s nervous, you can tell — you’d been making out and grinding on his thigh for fifteen minutes and you couldn’t even feel a hard press against your leg. you’d heard around town that he was eager, giving, clearly experienced in some kinda way. so what was the issue?

“do i not turn you on or what?” you gasp, lips still brushing his as you rut against his leg a little harder, whining when said starchy jeans catch on your clit and drag, the soft burn making your insides ache with want.

eddie goes bug eyed, grappling for your waist and squeezing tight, “no, no. s’not that, sweetheart. you’re fucking beautiful.”

you huff, still rocking slowly but not enough to chase your high properly, just enough to keep you on edge, “what is it then, why aren’t you hard?”

“you make me nervous,” he says, honestly. his eyebrows marry with worry, a shaky sigh escaping his lips, “just — worried m’gonna disappoint you. it’s not much to look at once i get there.”

you pout, running your hand up from where it grips at his shoulder to rest gently on the side of his neck, “don’t say that. i’ll make you feel good, if you’ll let me?”

eddie nods, though he’s clearly still so nervous, chewing on the inside of his lip as you dismount from him, settling in between his spread legs and pawing at his clothes.

he helps you undress him from the waist down, lifting his hips so you can slide his jeans and underwear off in one swift motion, leaving them pooled at his ankles.

and. well.

he’s still completely soft, laying over the soft hang of his balls. maybe three inches at most, foreskin rippling at the head. there’s girth there though, so you’re absolutely working with something.

you’re slow with it, dragging the pads of your fingers up the inside of eddie’s shaking thigh until he’s hissing, and you catch his cock kicking up in interest when you do.

he’s gripping at the sheets, no doubt a nervous habit, trying to keep himself grounded as you finally wrap your hand around him, giving him a short tug. he gasps at that, eyes widening further as he watches you jerk him off in a steady rhythm.

it’s weird. feeling a dick grow hard in your hand, fattening up until he’s fully erect and somehow double the size he was when he was flaccid.

it’s like magic. sexy magic that’s kinda got you hot and bothered.

“oh, shit,” eddie’s hands grip the sheets tightly, hips canting up a little into your hand as you work him with a tight fist, “your hand feels really good.”

you make a little delighted noise as you pull his foreskin down and the pretty pink head pops out, shiny with precum already and looking needy, “s’pretty. i like your cock.”

he moans, head thumping back against your cushioned headboard as you continue pumping him up and down, unable to tear your eyes away from it — seriously, where had his dick been all your life?

“can i — do you wanna have sex?” you ask, glancing up at eddie momentarily to gauge how he’s feeling.

his cheeks are flushed pink, tendons in his neck flexing as he watches you with hazy eyes. he nods, a quick motion, and you’re so glad he says yes — you need him in you. like, yesterday.

you keep your hand steady on the base of his cock as you manoeuvre yourself back to almost where you were originally. straddling his hips, panties pushed to the side so you can slide down on him with minimal effort and no resistance.

his grip goes back to your hips as you sink down, a quiet little whimper bubbling out of his mouth as your cunt grips him, “oh fuck, you’re so tight.”

and like, yeah. he’s stretching you nicely, not enough to hurt but enough that you can feel him. and he’s curved nicely into your frontal wall, rubbing against the soft tissue, making your insides coil.

you place both hands on his tummy, using it for leverage as you begin bouncing up and down. you can’t do it too fast, otherwise he’ll slip out, but it’s a nice steady motion that has you both panting and gasping.

“y-you had nothing to worry about,” you stutter, moaning quietly when the head of his cock catches nicely inside of you, at the same time your clit rubs against his dark thatch of pubes, “your cock is so good.”

eddie moans, punching his hips up from below and choking a high pitched sound out of you as he does, eliciting an even louder noise from your gushing cunt at the same time, “y’r gonna make me cum, shit.”

“yeah? gonna cum in me? fill me up?” you ask, tummy blooming with a low heat, a telltale sign you’re close too. it just feels so good.

“you can’t say that, fuck,” eddie groans, gripping at your hip even tighter, blunt nails digging into your soft skin until you’re gasping, “need you to cum first, sweetheart.”

“almost there anyway,” you admit, rutting down against him as he fucks you from below — you’re unsure of when he even took over, too drunk on it to care either.

he smooths his thumb down your pubic bone, over your mound to dip under your hood, catching your clit once, twice with his calloused fingertip and you’re cumming with a wet cry, digging your nails into the soft skin of his tummy as you grind down on him, the deep heat inside of you bursting and settling just as quickly.

“you’re so — fuckfuck,” eddie stutters over his words, punching his hips up into you and pushing you down on him all at once and he’s spilling inside of you. in your own haze you can feel his cock pulsing, filling you with his release.

it’s quiet after that, and he slips out soon after.

your obsession with his dick never does go away.

[burntb4bydoll]

It's my first time requesting something on here, I am CRAVING for any Tokio Hotel member with a kind/sweet/obedient reader, I usually can't find stories/headcanons with them where the reader is a sweet and obedient girl, feel free to ignore this request if you want to.

Bae this is so me fr (for the most part😇)

Tokio Hotel with a sweet and obedient gf (slightly NSFW)

Bill Kaulitz

•hes completely infatuated with you. you could do anything you wanted to him and he would let you.

•he thinks that you are an absolute angel. He loves how sweet you are, it makes him so proud to be your bf

•would NEVER let people take advantage of you or your kindness. You don’t like disappointing people by saying ‘no’ but he has absolutely no problem doing it for you

• “sweetheart, you can’t do everything people ask you to. You are too sweet for your own good sometimes I swear.”

•he means that in a endearing way dw! He wouldn’t change a single thing about you

•he tries to test your obedience tbh. He’ll tell you to do something small then slowly start telling you to do more, but you never disobey him. And he makes sure to praise you very well for it

• “oh my, what a good girl. You listen so well, angel. Im so proud of you.”

•definitely is more of a soft dom with you, he can’t imagine being mean to his sweet girl🤭

Tom Kaulitz

•oh boy…

•you two are opposites. He’ll try to get you to do and say bad/mean things just to see if youll actually do it

•your hesitant because you dont wanna be mean, but you obey him and he immediately cant help but smirk to himself

•Bill always scolds him for it tho, you can’t escape mama Bill.

“Tom, Leave her alone! Y/n don’t listen to him, hes an idiot.” 😭

•he thinks its so cute watching you interact with his family. You’re just so sweet and they all love you so much. Hes so happy that they love you just as much as he does

•HIS MOM LOVES YOU. SHE TAKES SO MANY PICTURES OF YOU AND TOM AND SHOWS THEM TO EVERYONE. SHE CALLS YOU HER DAUGHTER TOO😭💗

•not to be a whore….but CORRUPTION KINK?? HELLO???

•LOVES pet names. He calls you princess, sweetheart, my love🤭🤭

Georg Listing

•LORD he is obsessed with you omfg

•you are absolutely everything to him. You’re his precious girl who could never EVER do anything wrong in his eyes

•literally refers to you as his ‘lovely girlfriend’ to people 😭

•his heart almost explodes whenever you do anything for him. Whether that be cooking him food, drawing/coloring a picture for him, or just giving him a small compliment, he’ll always be so so appreciative of it

•HES SO SOFT WITH YOU. He kisses youholds your face so gently while stroking your cheeks with his thumbs:(((

• “You’re such a sweetheart, you know that? I love you so much, my sweet girl.”

Gustav Schäfer

•hes also such a sweetheart, but he likes to pretend like hes all mean and unapproachable😭

•like babe, you are probably the cutest person here you’re not fooling anyone.

•you two are known for being the super lovey couple. He loves to show you off and you’re just happy to be there😇

•although you’re both sweet, you’re the only obedient one in the relationship. He such a brat and LOVES to push peoples buttons just to see how far he can go before someone actually gets mad😭

•BLUSHES SO SO HARD WHEN YOU COMPLIMENT HIM

•you guys are the embodiment of a praise kink. Neither of you can go 5 minutes without being and all nice and lovey dovey to each other

•dare i say….pleasure Dom Gustav…. GUYS IK I SAY IT ALL THE TIME BUT PLS YOU KNOW ITS TRUE

• “such a good girl for me, arent you?”

“Aww, you’re so cute, my baby.” Yes. HIS baby.😇

[2targirlxo]

brothers best friend

lando norris x fewtrell!reader

In which the internet and lando’s best friend find out about his relationship

Twitter!

y/n pov

fuck lando answer the phone. i spoke out calling my boyfriend. my name had been trending on twitter. i don’t even know how they found out about me and him. i haven’t even told my brother yet and now he’s going to find out through twitter. sure i posted lando on my instagram a couple times but i had told all my friends it was a guy back in london. i felt like screaming. lando and i both wanted our relationship to be private seeing as his career as a formula one driver was taking off and i wasn’t in the public eye. i open twitter again to see they have pictures of us on the beach, kissing on his yacht, and us in the club. how am i supposed to explain this to max???

five minutes later there is a knock on my monaco apartment door. i hoped it was lando. i hoped that he would come here to comfort me and tell me that it was okay. i opened the door and became face to face with my older brother.

“what the fuck is wrong with you y/n” he spoke. pushing past me to enter my house. “my best friend???” i tried to speak but words to defend myself didn’t come out. “i’m sorry” i said looking anyway but him. “i’m gonna kill him” max said angry. “max calm down its not that big of a deal” i said trying to calm him down. “not that big of a deal? it’s the biggest deal every y/n, you’re my little sister and he’s my best friend. it’s wrong.” he yelled. he was overreacting, how could this possibly be a bad thing?

“max stop. why don’t you want me to be happy?” i said. i thought i was going to be sick, this is to much to handle right now. “of course i want you to be happy y/n, but why him?” just as max stopped speaking my phone started ringing. it was lando. i immediately picked up the call

“y/n i’m outside you’re door. let me in” he sound serious. i practically ran to the door to let him in. max was still standing in my kitchen. the second i opened the door lando pulled me into a warm hug, whispering apologies into my hair. “lando what the fuck” max yelled from behind us. “max please let me explain.” lando begged walking closer to max. “save it, i cant believe you two.” max spoke in a disappointed tone. max grabbed his keys and began to walk to the door as i begged him to stay to here my explanation. but he continued walking and left, slamming the door.

i turned to lando and immediately broke down in tears. lando comforted me when no one else would. “its going to be okay. okay? he’ll come around.” he spoke softly, still holding me while i cried.