#You stank bruh

[cloverthemonke]

What is this absolute BAFOON doing on my doodle sheet.

HE STINKS!! GRRRAAHHH!!!

Infected Design by @unoriginal-and-dumb

Btw my bad for like bombing ur blog that wasn't very chillcore of me 😧 (I was tryina find a reference because my memory sucks and I found super cool stuff so I just HAD to like)

[twst-migraine]

So recently I got my hands on the repressed catholic.

^This guy

Even got him twice might I add! So I invited him to my guest room and-

This mf allergic to kindness 💀

[voretwink]

(got some requests to do disposal and i’ve had this on tap for a while. as a frat boy myself who goes to a big SEC school, i rlly love frat guys in vore, so this one was a fun story to write. it’s a little longer and features some quite graphic digestion and disposal, so don’t say i didn’t warn you… although if you’ve read this far you’re probably into that stuff… you dirty perv😏😏 i got a little creative with the disposal/anal vore so, as always, i hope yall do enjoy! also let me know if yall would want to read a story involving high school baseball players and lots of cruel digestion😈)

Holden sat on the ledge of the pool, glancing over at the rest of the party. Kappa’s always knew how to do it best, he thought as he felt something rearrange deep within his guts. That twink from this morning was nothing but mush snaking through his bowels, and boy was he a fighter. He was still giving the 19 year old wild indigestion. Holden felt a breathy toot slide between his wet cheeks before taking a deep huff, the smell of digesting meat always got him off, and his stiffening semi was a testament to that. His girthy pipe of smooth, pink flesh bounced in his wet swim trunks, the head imprinted against the American flag print. “Fuck bruh, now I gotta take care of this,” he muttered as he rubbed his hands over his potbelly, sliding over the slippery pudge and all the way down to his dick, palming at his growing member. There was sudden movement in the boy’s peripheral vision—some twink dipping his feet in the pool, toting a Michelob Ultra as he aimlessly scrolled on his phone, all alone…

Holden pounced at the opportunity and wobbled over to the twink, his ass, belly, and bulge bouncing with every massive step. The hulking boy approached the obvious freshman, and in less than 5 minutes Holden was skullfucking the twink behind the pool house, a new record. The boy gagged and choked on gat white cock, the blush pink tip shoved down his esophagus as his veiny shaft throbbed with desire, massaged and stroked by the boy’s near constant gags. His face was painted with drool, snot, and various other bodily fluids as Holden released his grip on the boy’s fluffy brown hair. The freshman fell back and gasped for air, coughing and sputtering as ribbons of drool dripping from Holden’s sizable dick, raining down onto the grass below as the bulking jock huffed and puffed. “Fuck I love that mouth baby,” he breathlessly moaned as he knelt down and delicately caressed the boy’s slobbery face, his palm lovingly resting on his jaw as he peered into the boy’s watery eyes.

The frat guy bent down and kissed the boy, running his massive hands through the back of his curly locks. The small twink took this as a sign, rubbing his hands up and down Holden’s bloated form as he felt the frat boy’s slobbery tongue explore his mouth, sucking on his tongue and biting his bottom lip as the two passionately made out in a breathless haze.

And then, it was like a flip had switched. The predatory college student spontaneously turned from soft and sweet back to his cruel and dominating nature, roughly shoving the smaller boy down onto the dewey grass. He knelt down, straddling the boy’s chest, crushing him with his size before bending over to meet his victim’s face. Their eyes aligned as Holden gently pressed his forehead against the shamefully aroused twink. A wet grumble erupted from deep within Holden’s pudgy potgut.

“The last twink I did this too wants to say hi…”

His voice was soft yet gruff before his lips snapped at the freshman’s. His tongue explored the freshman’s mouth once more as the gurgling erupted, this time even louder. A repulsive gust of stale air rushed up Holden’s throat and into the boy’s mouth, causing the twink’s cheeks to puff as sour air rushed into his mouth and down his throat. It tasted of charred meat, stank breath, and an almost sour sort of musky— something truly disgusting. The freshman turned his head to gag and cough as saliva from the belch continued to pelt him.

Holden took this as a sign and lifted himself off the boy, squatting over him as he turned himself around so his ass faced the boy’s… how do I put it… face. The boy yelped a meek“No!” before Holden pulled down his American Eagle Swim Trunks, slowly revealing two massive white globes that were perfectly dusted with curly brown hairs—sculpted from years of Lacrosse and squat racks.

In a swift motion, he plopped his ass down, muffling the boy’s pleading with his musky fat ass. The boy’s face was smothered between those monstrous cheeks, his sense of smell overwhelmed with an oniony musk that was only achievable through days of hitting the gym and not showering, with a hint of sweat and chlorine, of course. His hairy asshole tickled the boy’s face as all 250 lbs of the frat boy (and the 25lbs or so that was left of breakfast) bore down on the young boy.

“Fucking eat my ass lil’ bitch,”

The frat boy sneered as the boy beneath him desperately squirmed for air, arms flailing and legs convulsing from the rush of pure musk and lack of breathable air.

Holden began to grind his asshole against the freshman’s face, doing anything to stimulate himself and the boy currently being assaulted by his salty musk. In doing so, the frat boy inadvertently shoved the boy’s nose up his ass, giving him a taste of unadulterated man musk and shit, courtesy of Holden’s proclivity to not wipe.

“Damn,” Holden gasped as he felt himself grow even harder, the muffled vibrations of the boy’s screams sending shocks up his spine as the muscles in his legs began to tremble. He pressed down even harder and with a couple wet squelches, the boy’s entire face was shoved in Holden’s rectum. His screams suddenly felt even better as the frat boy discovered a novel way of ingestion.

Soon, Holden was laying in the grass stroking his dick as the unnamed boy’s squirms pushed against his prostate, his feet finally sliding into his hole with a squelch and a little fart. “Holy shitt-” the boy deeply groaned as he came all over his lumpy, bulging gut. The orgasm lasted minutes as Holden firmly rubbed his gut with his free hand, feeling the giant bulge of an entire human encased within his lower gut, with a couple hard objects indented through the pudge. “Fuck, I’ve never melted two twinks at once,” Holden said with blissful satisfaction as his gut began to loudly gurgle at the currently living twink, his other meal being much further along in the digestive process.

Within his bowels was an inhuman hellscape, the twink lodged inside feebly writhed and screamed as he was slowly slid through a dark, constricted tube. The slippery walls of the tube kneaded and compressed him as he inched up what seemed like miles and miles of Holden’s hot and wretched intestines. He could feel Holden’s big hands rubbing and pressing down on him, and there were also disgusting blasts of air that would rush by him, resulting in squealing farts that were deafening from within the frat boy’s digestive system. The freshman could only sob as he was pushed into even tighter tubes, his body contorting in ways that shouldn’t have been humanly possible. His smooth skin was being sprayed with a goopy substance that made him tingle and itch, and soon enough he would meet his other twink friend that was along for the ride….

A rancid chunky paste of sorts began to coat the boy’s hair and face, slowly subsuming him as Holden’s breakfast and dinner collided. The boy thrashed and cried out as he was basted in a slurry of mysterious paste and digestive enzymes, and the boy soon found himself being scraped and cut against jagged little pellets and needles. The bones of the half-digested twink dug into the still somewhat-living one. As the two fought for space within Holden’s small intestine, the space and air began to grow thinner by the second. With a final, worthless cry, the unnamed freshman was snuffed out, suffocated by the half digested soup of meat and bone that was Holden’s prior meal.

———————————————————————————

In the morning Holden awoke outside the frat pool house with a massive headache, a clear sign of the debauchery of the night prior. His swim trunks were lain in the grass beside him, and his gut was still incredibly bulging and loudly gurgling. There was a noticeable discomfort in his bowels , and this turned into an undeniable pressure as his meals begged for release.

Holden squatted over a patch of grass as his hairy white globes sputtered with fetid gas, his deadly guts burbling as they quickly got a move on. He saw the abnormally lumpy bulge in his lower bowels shift and convulse as a snaking log soon crackled out of his hairy hole. Peppered with bone and curly blonde hairs, a dozen or so steaming logs of the same magnitude were pushed from his gaping pink pucker.

His massive dick twitched as he felt something large begin to push against his prostate. His hole stretching as a handful of coarse, matted brown hair brushed his prostate. Soon the entire head of last night’s twink was birthed back out into the world, his hair caked with shit and anal slime as his body cascaded out of Holden’s hole. After his shoulders were (painfully) excreted, the entire body slid out of Holden like a creampie after a night at the bathhouse. His corpse landing in the grass beside the large pile of shit and indigested material. “No fucking way,” Holden exclaimed as he quickly turned around to see it for his own eyes.

The boy was tightly curled into a ball, his skin a pale blue and covered with a greenish-brown marinade of shit and gastric juice. There was some reddening and cuts from the splintered bone that ran the length of his body, but he was mostly unscathed—just pale and pruned from being dead and doused in intestinal juice. The most erotic part of it though was his cute little face, frozen in a eerie cry as he was cruelly snuffed from the world by some drunk and horny frat boy.

“Hot damn,” was the only thing Holden could mutter, mindlessly dribbling precum from his growing BWC. “Guess I should just hose him down and go for round 2,” he chuckled to himself as he lightly tugged at his throbbing erection, looking around for the nearest hose and Busch Lite.

[brownied0ll]

L. O. V. E

Warning: suggestive at the end | clingy-ish y/n | Just ony | pet names like: ma, mama ,baby ,bae

⚠️ not proofread ⚠️

“Babyyyy�� you dragged the “y” while you shook him just a little bit trying to get his attention “bruh bae move get off me” you made a lil stank face

“why you actin’ like that…” “cuz you shakin’ me knowing I’m playin’ the game, you being extra right now” “YOU extra I didn’t even do nothing ! not too much lil nigga..” you said Under your breath.

But what the crazy thing was… he ain’t even say nothing back like usually he would’ve said “watch ya mouth” or sum like that he just let you walk away!

Once you got off the bed you started walking towards the walk-in closet texting your homegirls back saying “y’all know what? Nvm I will be outside today!” They texted back said they pick you up at 6 it was only 3:46 but you know you take a while to get ready so you wanna start early.

You was in the closet looking threw all them clothes you had, but you wanted to make Ony mad since he wanna act up, so you picked out a certain outfit he probably wasn’t gon like.

He was already confused when he heard the shower starting because he knows your whole schedule and this wasn’t the time you usual start your showers, but he ain’t worry about it he just kept playin his STOOPID game.

But he got even more confused when you were scouring the drawers in front of the tv in your little towel, looking for who knows what, till he saw you bring out a white lacey thong which he didn’t care but he aint see you grab a bra maybe you already had one.. yeah…

You was in the bathroom doing washing your face then started doing skincare, you heard him get off the the bed and go down the stairs, “…boy so you don’t feel the need to come see what I’m doinggg??”

You had thought in your head but you started brushing your teeth then you took off your bonnet, unt unt unt, baby you betta fix dat lace fronttt! which you did it was super cute then you started doing your edges.

Your hair was so cute! You started putting that outfit on, it was 5:27, “DANGG time went fast” you said to yourself quietly then you heard ony coming back in the room walking to towards the bathroom.

“Oh now he wanna see what I’m doing..” you thought to yourself shaking yo head side ta side, he came up behind you and started kissing yo neck and holding it while he other hand went down your stomach.

“damn ma.. you look fine as hell.. where we going?” You was was feelin him but you forgot you was supposed to be mad so you moved his hand from youre stomach and fixed you lashes.

“Mama? I asked you a question.” He said sturnly which kinda turned you on because you love when he got that tone to his voice. “WE not going nowhere. IM going out wit’m homegirls” you said smacking your lips after.

“What’you’mean” he said letting go of you completely “exactly what I said” you took you phone swiping up from the wallpaper of you and ony. Checking your messages and the time. It was 5:53 your home girl texted you that they was almost outside.

“Watch out it’s time fo me to go.” You said with a lil sas he watched you walk away he didn’t stop you, he wanted to! But he didn’t. You started putting your shoes on, with your pretty anklet and the necklace with your name on it.

Your girls was out side so you left, he was mad. You knew he was mad. He was especially mad when he seen your instagram post twerking on one of your homegirls lap. with a caption saying : “if my man don’t wont catch it my bsfs will!” With another video under it of you with someone spreading money on yo back while you twerk.

He thought about running over to that party and picking you up right away. But he didn’t. Cuz you were in for it when you got home. Oh, you was REALLY in for it when you got back.

You friend dropped you off yall did your goodbye kisses & hugs then you was finna put the key in the door but it swung open, a strong arm pulling you in then picking you up.

“Ony whatdafuck??” You said as he threw you on the bed “first you was giving me attitude then you runnin ya mouth AND shakin ya ass on someone else?? You must be crazy. Gon head take off all dat shit like bro.. you ain’t even got a bra on wit that tight ass- mannn you pissing me off more and more.”

You rolled you eyes and started undressing. Let’s just say last night was memorable.

HEY BABYESSS so if I make a pt2 it probably be of “last night” (I apologize if links don’t work I check every other day ta see jus in case!)

[kzlove]

handle you

syn -> eren proves that he can handle you.

warnings : smut, squirting, creampie, thick black reader, weed and alcohol usage, unprotected sex, spit, not proofread; just nasty

you were laying in bed with your led lights on, tv playing music softly from its speakers.

frank ocean, flo mili, sza, steve lacy, kali uchis, and whoever fit their way into the mood.

it was definitely past twelve o clock now, but you didn't feel even a bit of tired.

you take a couple pictures and post it on instagram, labeling it as 'bored' before posting.

you see a lot of your homegirls like it immediately, but of course they all was doing something.

sasha had a class to go to in the morning, annie was exhausted from work, pieck was with her boyfriend.

the only person that didn't heart it was mikasa, and that was probably because she was with her boyfriend too.

you drop your phone down and roll your eyes, deciding to begin working on your assignment due next week.

but you don't have to mess with it for long.

your phone buzzes next to you, gaining your attention from the laptop. an instagram notification.

onyandrift replied to your story : smoke sesh? wtw

you roll your eyes, recognizing the username as your boy best friend.

the two of you use to kick it with each other all the time, and even spent a few nights at his house over the summer in high school.

but you fell off, cause eventually he got a girlfriend and started to stream games and a bunch of other nonsense.

around that same time, you started focusing more on yourself.

loveyn : lame booooo loveyn : ion got weed to share w u

onyandrift : girl you nvr do onyandrift : i'm providing onyandrift : come kick it w me n a few of my hbs

loveyn : uhm loveyn : you think i wanna be around bare niggas tn??

onyandrift : stop yappin and get dressed im omw

you roll your eyes at the text and sigh, checking the weather.

it wasn't gonna be too cold, so you settled for this and grabbed your phone charger and lip gloss.

onyankopon doesn't live far, so it doesn't surprise you when you hear his audi a6 make that annoying popping noise outside your house.

you groan in annoyance and grab a water bottle before stepping outside, immediately walking to the car.

"why the fuck you still got that shit bruh?" you complain, climbing into the front seat.

he had on his essentials hoodie and black sweatshorts, grey yeezy slides on and a velvet durag.

he shoots you a grin before he takes takes your things and puts it in the backseat like he always did.

during your senior year, he had you sit outside with him in the hot ass sun while he put something on his car to make it noisy as hell.

he did explain what it was, but it wasn't like you really cared so you ignored him.

you didn't expect him to still have it though.

"who all gon be up in there ony?" you ask once he makes it to the stop light.

onyankopon sits back in his seat and things, rubbing the stubble on his face in fake thought.

"don't know." he fakes, before driving off when the light turns green.

you groan in annoyance, fixing your hair and at least making sure you looked good.

-

when you make it, he grabs your things and tells you to head to the backyard where everyone else is.

you follow his instructions, grumbling about how he had better sprayed all the mosquitos.

everyone was back there like he said they were.

it was armin, jean, mikasa, onyan's girlfriend zara, and some guy you don't recall ever seeing.

"hey girl! come sit!" mikasa grins, swinging her legs off jean and patting the seat beside her.

it happened to be between her and the random guy.

he didn't pick his head up to greet you or even look at you, tapping away at his phone.

'rude ass' you thought to yourself, sitting next to mikasa with a bit of a stank face.

she follows your view, and sighs, leaning back. "don't mind him. he just don't wanna be outside." mikasa reassures.

you roll your eyes and fix yourself, saying hi to everyone else.

onyankopon joins you all in the back with all the spliffs he had rolled after hitting everyone up.

sooner or later, lost by frank ocean was playing lowly on the speaker and you were all on your third spliff.

"this would be so much better if we had drinks." mikasa complained, leaning back onto jean.

he ignores her, because everyone knows how nasty she gets when she's drunk and high.

"fuck that. some fucking food would be amazing." armin huffed out smoke, handing the spliff over to zara.

everyone groaned in agreement, and you were the only one to get up with a hum.

you don't miss the way a pair of eyes trace your body as you stretch and fix your pants.

"finna go find sum in the kitchen for us to eat." you grumble, venturing into the house.

you close the screen door behind you and look through his cabinets with a frown, fixing your hair out of your face.

the sliding door to the backyard slides open and closed, making you turn to the sound.

it was the silent guy, eren, you learned his name was.

and now you could see him in proper light.

he wore a grey hoodie and a pair of baggy sweats, long hair pulled into a up and down.

you had to admit that he was fine, his wife beater seeming tight around his chest.

and green eyes staring you the fuck down.

"can i help you?" you question rudely, turning back to the fruit snacks in the pantry.

"maybe you can." he responds, and you hear him approach you.

now you know your position could be taken as anything but innocent, bent over inside a pantry.

you stand up straight and face him, looking him up and down. you weren't know easy bitch, and you won't be treated as such.

"you can't handle me." you complain, pulling your phone out and grab the whole box of fruit snacks.

he takes the box from you and puts it on the counter, smirking just a little bit at you.

"you don't think so?" eren questions, tilting his head teasingly.

you scoff, jabbing your nail into his chest harshly until he backed up.

"trust me, baby. i know." you grab the fruit snacks up and join everyone else.

-

"nah don't run now. thought i couldn't handle you?" eren grinned down at you cockily.

you were bent over onyankopon's guest bed, back arched and face smushed into the sheets.

one thing is for certain, you shouldn't have picked up that fucking cup.

mikasa brought out the liquor and poured everyone a cup.

which led to everyone spending the night at ony's house and crashing in every room.

mikasa and jean took the game room in the basement, ony and zara obviously took his room, while armin crashed on the long L shaped couch with eren.

or well, he should've.

you couldn't stop teasing him in that stupid fucking graphic tee ony lent you for the night.

which led you here, under eren's strong hold and getting your pussy pounded something serious.

"ooouu why you fucking me like this?" you whine out a bit too loud, reaching back to press on his stomach.

but eren shut that down immediately, slapping your hand away and stuffing all eight inches in your gut.

"all fucking talk." eren grumbles to himself, angling his hips upwards and fucking you even harder.

at this angle, his fat tip was slamming right into your g-spot.

your jaw goes slack in a silent scream as you push your ass back onto him, holding onto the pillow.

eren grins over you, slapping the flesh connecting your waist to your thighs.

"good girl.. take this fucking dick." eren grunts out, obsessed with the way your ass ricocheted off his abs.

"wait wait wait! m'gonna make a mess!" you pleaded with him, grabbing his strong arms.

hearing that only made him speed up, staring directly at your pussy as it clenched around him.

you screamed into the pillow, squirting harshly onto the sheets beneath you.

eren pulls out to watch, catching his breath and clapping your ass cheeks together.

when you catch your breath, you turn your head to figure out why he was so quiet behind you.

he stared back at you, before chuckling lightly. "onyankopon is gonna fuck us up." he joked, flipping you onto your back.

you rolled your eyes and get comfortable, staring at him from behind your lashes.

"not us. you. i told you i'd make a mess." you shoot back, letting him lift your legs up.

"uh huh. sure." eren says, not even listening to you as he pushes right back inside of you.

in this position, he reaches deeper inside of you and it makes you whine again.

you can't even think of a remark to say back, because his pace picks up once more.

eren wraps his hand around your throat and leans in, spitting in your mouth.

you accept it gratefully, swallowing and pulling him down to kiss him.

eren groans into the kiss, rutting into harder and rubbing your clit in rough circles.

you moan out, arching your back and grabbing his hand.

"fuck.. gonna make me nut in this pussy." eren groans out, moving his hand off your throat and kissing just below your ear.

you squeeze your eyes shut at the pleasure, bucking your hips weakly into him.

what he says doesn't register in your brain, your head going foggy as all you could focus on was how good he was fucking you.

eren starts to mumble something you don't hear clearly, bucking into you wildly.

you cum around him again, locking your knees behind him and digging your nails into his back.

eren groans in your ear, hips stuttering as he shoots thick, hot ropes into your sensitive pussy.

you flinch and whine lightly at the feeling, playing with his hair.

the two of you lay in your combined juices, still coming down from your highs.

eventually, eren turns his head to face you and grins.

"i gotta buy you a plan b?" he questions, rubbing your thigh in slow circles to get your full attention.

you shake your head and close your eyes. "i'm on birth control." you inform, taking a look at your nails.

"you gotta pay for my lashes and nails tho. got me fucked up." you grumble, looking at your broken index nail and missing pinky.

eren laughs at that, pulling out and climbing off the bed to pull his boxers back on.

"can't handle you my ass. don't ever let me hear you say that shit again girl." eren teases, helping you off the bed.

loud knocks make the two of you freeze, grabbing the sheets to cover your still naked.

a loud voice rings out from behind, making you remember exactly where you two were.

"aye make sure yall niggas clean up and take that fucking sheet home! got me fucked up, fucking in my house like that!" onyankopon complains, before walking off.

eren looks back at you with a grin, before slapping the fat of your thigh playfully.

he's never letting you stay over again.

[letmeeatyoursoul]

ran grunted as he got up from the bed, going to the bathroom and throwing you a towel before turning the shower-head on. you stared at the ceiling, your index finger tapping on your stomach like a clock’s seconds hand. you heard his phone buzz as the shower door opened and closed, ran now taking a shower. you heard it again, buzz, buzz. you side eye the night stand with a stank ass face. you snatch the phone before you can think, easily unlocking it, the same as the shared Netflix account’s password. his birthday. your thumb presses the photo app, mindlessly scrolling, an occasional dick pic, flexing selfies, vids of backshots…all you until you stop scrolling when you see a back that has a tattoo you don’t have? your stomach drops as you hear the shower water stop running, quickly shutting his phone off and setting it back where it was.

ran comes out in a towel wrapped around his waist, staring at him, your breath uncontrolled, you think about bringing it up. ran walks to his nightstand, grabbing his phone. “did you touch my phone?” he looks over at you. “what no?” an agitated tone in your voice made his brows furrow. “dont fucking lie, it was facing down when i left.” you look up at him, “who was the girl with the daddy tatto?” you tilt your head at him as he runs a hand through his damp hair, throwing his phone on his side of his bed.

“you went through my shit? are you fucking crazy?” he walks into the bathroom, keeping the door open to continue your argument. “are you!? who the fuck is she ran?” he rubs his face with his hands, ignoring your question as he drops his towel and slips clean boxers on. “who is that bitch?”, you egg him on. “you’re fucking psychotic…” he whispers to himself as he rubs some body balm on his leg propped up on his sink. you get up, panties and a tanktop on, from his unamade bed that smelled like used condoms and regret. “you can’t just ignore me! what the fuck even is this?!” you gesture to the both of you, “when did we ever say we were fucking other people, ran? huh?” “when did we ever say we were dating?” your blood boiled as he continued to ignore your questions and blatant emotion, answering so calmly.

“i thought we were seeing eachother to maybe have this go somewhere? i mean what the fuck?” he rolls his eyes as he moved past you to put a t shirt on and socks. “you can’t convince me to date you. you’re a fucking slut who sleeps with the easiest guy in the room.” “and you aren’t?! you’ve been fucking me and other girls behind my back!” “you’re so fucked up in the head you ever think i would date you? ive told you since fucking day one im not ready for a fucking relationship! especially not with your crazy ass.” you turn around and grab your clothes off the floor, holding them in your left hand. “you know whats fucked up? you have been taking me out, saying you love me and that im the only one you care about!”

you’ve really pissed off and agitated this man to no other level. “WHAT IS FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU! I DONT HAVE TO DATE YOU! GET THE FUCK OUT, I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN, YOU’RE A CRAZY BITCH NEVER CALL ME AGAIN!” he huffed as his chest moved up and down aggressively. he saw your eyes get glossy and pink, nodding as you grabbed your bag and phone and left. he yelled at your name as you slammed his door, “baby, i was just heated. bruh you know i dont mean that shit..” but you were already going downstairs, ignoring his brother who heard the screaming. “fuck dude!” ran picked up his phone and threw it against the wall from frustration. you both cant leave each other alone.

[fruitsaalad]

I don’t get the service top sanji hype.

Like sanji been working in customer service since he was like 8 and literally cooks gourmet meals for luffys hungry ass and all the other straw hats all day and you want him to fucking top??? Can my baby girl get taken care of for once like god damn.

“sanji lives to serve and take care of people” yeah… thats for the GIRLS only I fear.. bcz why would sanji be trying to serve a man tf

for me it’s the fact that y’all want him to service top for ZORO… 💔😭 like crazy work. Imagine being sanji coming home from a 9-5 feeding people all day busting your ass in the kitchen and having to top your lazy ahh unemployed boyfriend who showers once a week and doesn’t scrub between cheeks.

Like sanji deserves more than anyone to be allowed to be a pillow princess literally the only employed straw hat bruh. zoro should be the only one service topping his stank ass goes to gym and naps all day he should have to put his back into pleasing his hard working wife sanji

[howlingday]

RWBY DUST FIGHT (FINALE)

Neptune: No... YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE NERFED! WHY AM I NOT WINNING?!

Jaune: NO NERF CAN STOP THE COMMAND GRAB~!

Neptune: (Charges) I'M NOT GOING TO LOSE THIS BRACKET-!

Jaune: (Command Grabs)

--------------------------------------------------

Blake: You've gone soft. Where's your criminal spirit?!

Velvet: D-Does pirating anime for Neptune count as criminal spirit?

--------------------------------------------------

Sun: Sorry, pal, but you ain't reaching me from all the way over there~!

Ironwood: (Readies Due Process) Oh, word, no- (Launches self, Bashes Sun)

--------------------------------------------------

Velvet: Mister Qrow! You should be raising your children!

Ruby: Yeah, Uncle Qrow! I miss you~!

Qrow: (HOOONK... SHMEEMEEMEEMEE)

Raven: SHOW ME YOUR FIGHTING SPIRIT~! (Unleashes Super)

Qrow: SEMBLANCE, DON'T FAIL ME NOW~! (Unleashes Super)

--------------------------------------------------

May: (Steps out from her invisibility)

Nora: Work it, girl~! Fucking slay, bitch~! (Sighs) Why the fuck don't we hang out more~?

May: (Chuckles) We love a girl's girl~.

--------------------------------------------------

Neptune: Ha ha~! I'm not losing to a mouse-

Somewhat: BITCH! Check the scoreboard! I've CAUGHT bodies!

Somewhat: JUNIPER, FUCK HIS ASS UP~!

Neptune: (Trampled by jackalope)

--------------------------------------------------

Qrow: Whoever loses here has to buy Ruby a new DS5-

Raven: WHAT?! She broke it already?!

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Yang: Unlike you, I take high execution-

Jaune: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH! UNGA BUNGA~! I have Command Grabs and a dream~!

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Grimm Hound: TOM... CAT... DON'T... SCARE... THIS... DOG...

Qrow: I'm more of a cat person.

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Raven: Look, why aren't you going to Qrow with your math homework?

Ruby: I TRIED AND HE YELLED AT ME!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ruby: Uncle Qrooow~! (Crying) This question is too hard~!

Qrow: Five times two is ten, Ruby! IT'S FUCKING TEN!

Ruby: STOP YELLING AT ME!

Weiss: Professor Branwen?

Qrow: WHAT?! (Looks down)

Nora: (Drawing dicks on the blackboard, Stops) ...Oooh, shit. My bad, bruh. Were you done using this?

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Ghira: ...Sienna, what exactly did you mean by, "Until the room stank"?

Sienna: Why don't we open this hunny-pack and find out, baby~?

AY YO~!

--------------------------------------------------

Ruby: Pfft! Patched in less than a week? Could never happen to me~!

Weiss: Oh, but you see...

Weiss: I STILL HAVE THE BEST MOVE IN THE GAME.

--------------------------------------------------

Velvet: Ruby! Are you bullying Weiss?!

Ruby: Okay, ROOSTER TEETH NEEDS TO NERF SNITCHING NEXT SEASON!

--------------------------------------------------

Neptune: C'MON, MAN! YOU JUST COMMAND GRABBED ME AT THE START OF THE POST! PLEASE, NOOOO

BRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING~!

Jaune: (Looks at watch) Welp! Time to clock out~! (Flies away)

Neptune: Wait... I win?! Ha! I guess I'm the strongest (Shoulder grabbed) Ah...

[koipepo]

😭 bruh when antis be like "it's rape!! It abuse!!" Like we don't know. Yes Helen, that is why we ship it. I know there's delusional shippers out there that put a wholesome paint brush over toxic dynamics but that's usually the antis who do because that cognitive dissonance is the only way they can ship something morally reprehensible and still sleep at night. The rest of us don't give a fuck nor do we gauge people's morality by their media tastes.

WARNING FOR LONG ASS RANT under the cut

(honestly theres still merit on reimagining toxic ships in healthier AUs but it still rubs me the wrong way when lines get blurred so i tend to stay away from "sweeter" AU of any toxic ship. The clarity of obscene dead dove feels safer for me but this is just my preference)

Re: antis keep making argument that its toxic and therefore shouldnt be shipped; it's regurgitated argument that feels like baby's first forray to fandom. thats why i never tried to engage with any of them in my inbox, even when theyre not throwing out kyes or insulting me.

Why should i keep explaining fandom's basic shipping tendency to you when sammick has such back-to-basic villain x protagonist final girl trope 😩 you dont need to keep repeating that its bad and toxic and unhealthy, yeah i know!! Remmick is a goddamn vampire!! Drinks blood and kill people!! We love the toxic stuff precisely bc its not real!

Also like, antis who keep trying to make shipping the God-honoring way lol please... as if we are referencing fictional ships for actual real life relationships goals. Giving me the vibe of "women shouldnt read books bc they would be too influenced by them". Dont ship anything that deviates from canon -> such normie take that i see too often in any fandom nowadays. Honestly its 100x more worrying if you gotta have fiction to be unblemished/untainted because your moral backbone can be influenced that easily. Please take a step back and distance yourself if you feel easily influenced by transgressive media, seriously✋

it makes me kinda mad too that Sammie as black man (also as bottom in my preference) gets so much scrutiny and pearl-clutching treatment when it comes to shipping when non-black characters get away for so much crazier dead dove stuff.

i saw someone in sa/mmick tag in twitter saying that this ship is white propaganda bc it detracts from pearline/sammie and i had to stare off into the distance for a good minute. Hard to take this think-pieces like this in good faith when they talk about shipping in such condescending and inflammatory manner. also how they treat shipping like activism when its literally just convergence of random strangers playing make believe in small corner of internet.

My fav is Sammie and i think the most about him out of any character in Sinners, and Remmick comparatively is treated by like scary vampire dildo for him LMAO (i still really like him tho, but it's fun to rag on him from time to time)

the plot demands Remmick to be obsessed with Sammie (only with his talent or his whole being, its undeniable that Remmic zeroes in on him) and like. As Sammie's fan, who am i to NOT utilize the clear text of the movie for my entertainment? Why shouldn't i use the canon plot to further my expression of appreciation on Sammie? My way of appreciating him, which includes shipping him with the Big Bad of the movie, is not anymore less valid than anyone's.

I understand the movie and its allegory to toxic, unhealthy cultural/racial assimilation and i also can switch on my shipping brain when im in fandom. Most samm/ck shippers treat sammie like the talented coveted princess that he is and remmick as garbage stank man, no centering whiteness at all in majority shipping posts lmao. Treating sammi/k shippers like we're such big blight when actually we're such small blip in Sinners tag, sammi/ck aint even explicitly canon like other het ships in Sinners so like... Stop making it as if we're such big problem damn 😭 the fact that we properly tag our shit too, antis could easily block us out of existence if we bother them that much but in reality theyre too addicted to being mad and love rage-baiting others

anyway i went on for too long 🤧

Its not too bad in sa/mmick tag these days, sometimes some antis misuse the tag but sa/mmick fans are so much more productive to counter that :) its really fun & welcoming here

[joeys-babe]

Joey B Blurbs: Yogurt

————————————————————————-

Summary: You leave Joe unattended for five minutes, and he thinks that your newly mixed homemade lotion is yogurt…

(Part One to - Part 2)

Warnings: Fluff

Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagine Universe: Into The Mystic

————————————————————————-

*30 weeks pregnant*

Joe and I were at the beginning of getting ready for date night.

It was a pretty chill day at the house so far, we all slept in, had breakfast, and spent the day chilling on the couch.

Joe even tried to teach the twins how to play Super Smash Bros, but I intervened and shut that down pretty quickly.

Now, Joe and I were upstairs in our bathroom getting ready.

I just ironed Joe’s clothes, which I also picked out, and sent him to the bedroom to change while I used the bathroom.

In all honesty, I wasn't using the bathroom, I was setting up a prank.

After posting a couple of my pranks that I've done on Joe on TikTok as a Christmas present to his fangirls, a couple of the other WAGs have sent me ideas to try on him.

Tianna, Cody Ford’s GF, sent me this idea where the girl leaves an unmarked jar of seemingly yogurt out on the counter with a spoon inside of it, her boyfriend thinks it is yogurt and eats it.

Joe has always been one to steal a bite of my food when I wasn't watching, so I knew he'd take the bait.

After I was finished setting up the prank, I called Joe into the bathroom to see his outfit.

“Watcha think?” - Joe

“You look amazing. It's screaming dilf.” - you

“Yeah?” - Joe smirked

He reached out and grazed his fingertips over my bare bump.

It was a date night tradition for me to put my outfit on last. It would be revealed to Joe as he stood at the door, and I walked down the stairs to him.

So for now, I'd wear my undergarments and a robe, or when I'm pregnant, I'd opt for one of Joe’s t-shirts.

“Wait I need to go put some juice pouches in the fridge for the boys’ dinner later.” - you

My phone was already set up discretely in our heated towel rack, so when I left the room I hit the record button on my Apple Watch.

I actually did go downstairs and put juice pouches in the fridge like I said I would and came back upstairs to hear any reaction from Joe.

Just as I am striding into the bathroom, I hear a gagging sound.

Joe was under the faucet, frantically rinsing his mouth out.

“What happened?!” - you

He leaned up and wiped his mouth off with the towel above the toilet, giving me a stank face as he pointed to the jar of lotion.

“Whatever that is, is fucking disgusting.” - Joe

There was so much sassiness behind his tone that I couldn't help but bust out laughing.

“Probably because it's lotion, Joe.” - you

“Lotion?! I thought it was yogurt. It literally has a spoon in it!” - Joe

“That's because I just mixed it up.” - you

That's a lie, I squeezed it out of a bottle into a jar. 

“This is another prank, isn't it? Where's your phone at?!” - Joe

I pointed to the towel rack and Joe slowly rolled his head toward it.

When he saw it, his shoulders dropped defeatedly, and Joe let out a big sigh.

“I got you back.” - you singsonged

I poked him in the stomach repeatedly, and Joe didn't even move just shifted his eyes from the camera to me as he playfully glared.

“Bruh.” - Joe

Giggling as I hugged Joe against me, he patted my back dismissively. He was annoyed but wouldn't ignore my touch.

“You’re lucky I love you.” - Joe

“I know.” - you laughed

Joe ended up laughing with me before pressing a kiss on my forehead.

“Yay. More footage of me getting pranked my teammates are gonna shove in my face.” - Joe

“It’s okay, Joe, I'm sending their girls ideas to prank them too.” - you giggled

“That's my girl.” - Joe kissed your forehead again

————————————————————————-

Authors note: the last blurb of the night!

Requests for this fic;

Hope you enjoyed! 💕

[luv3rrx]

You know how I usually add like other kings in the "Cum and dick head cannon" and I was supposed to add Asmomo,BUT his size is fuckin question marks,maybe because he fan shapeshift thats it's question marks.

Like in Dokidoki, PB's other game,he has the form of a plushie. So means that he prob can change the shape and size of his dick.

So I can't do a proper inspection bruh 🌝

How the fuck am I supposed to work with questions marks!!!!

Well I could definitely work with his cum taste. It's definitely salty and not in the yum salt in the wtf salty. (Keep in mind I love this man but he stank)

It's sticky, heavily sticky. Like when you swallow it's like swallowing condensed milk.

Maybe the salty isn't as salty as to make you gag but a little fruity maybe idk.

He's so stinky but I love him 🫶🏾

[modkiddeogames]

bruh how does having sex make a girl smelly... shouldn't the boy be smelly too? from pussy stank? but bodily fluids do wash off so WHAT IS THE SMELL ABOUT it makes no sense and it also pisses me off that we're never gonna know raaagh raagh spooga booga amoga womp

You can get smelly after sex cuz of the sweat and musk, but yeah it's weird that no one is pointing out on Frosty, who has TUC, and who is sweating 24/7. Everybody is bullying Sly for being stinky but what about Polly or Frosty?? Like hello??

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

Since you've already discussed how OJV Style came to be, how did OJV Bendy come to be?

OOO! honestly? Pretty similarly. Best friends do it better, after all ;)

I feel like Bebe was the one to confess first, like she and Wends were hanging out and she just made that move. And timing wise, it was mid sophomore year, a lil after AFITS takes place. They’ve been super close for years, both Wendy and Bebe are super good friends with Stan and Kyle, bond stronger than ever after stendy break up for good, like Wendy is definitely dealing with comp het for a long time while knowing she doesn’t like men, and that last breakup was the final because that’s ALSO when Stan confided in her that he was down horrendous for his sbf. And coincidentally, she was in the same boat.

Stan absolutely kept urging Wendy to just TELL Bebe, see what happens after, but Wendy was absolutely overthinking it, and the Bendy Moment was LITERALLY at a basketball game, at finals, the girls just finished a cheer and went off the court, Bebe planted a lil kiss on her best friend’s cheek and went “hey u wanna be gfs” lmao Wendy was FLUSTERED and of course Stan WITNESSED THIS in the mascot suit and his hopeless romantic ass was SO EXCITED like my boy fr ran up to hug both of them “hop off my girlfriend, Marsh” “you’re BOTH getting smothered oh my GOD!!! Fuck Kyle’s gonna be so mad he missed this!” Whilst wearing the Stank Ass Cow Suit and BRUH WHEN I SAY KYLE WAS BIG MAD bc he didn’t see the first little Bendy Kiss in person. Poor Ky was still out after fucking up his knee and found it too frustrating to go to games if he couldn’t play, and Stan went to his house after and went “YOU WILL NEVER FUCKING GUESS DUDE HOLY SHIT” and Kyle, who secretly gets into gossip, like excited as hell and jumping up bc hot gossip (he got yelled at by his mother for walking without his crutches and was rather annoyed that Stan was on her side) was BIG MAD that he missed it like “Oh Barbie better call me asap I have been TELLING HER to just tell Wendy she likes her! I fucking MISSED IT?!?” “Dude, dude, all I saw was a cheek kiss and then I got sappy and hugged them and Bebe called Wends her girlfriend and-“ “-WHAT?!?” Bro is so pissed he didn’t see that.

Meanwhile Wendy and Bebe after the game, still in their cheer uniforms, have gone to the local sonic for milkshakes and both are TREMBLING bc holy shit they like each other lmfao like they’re in one of the drive in spots, lit softly by the colorful lights and menus, in Wendy’s car, holding hands and blushing bc this is NEW to them and THEN Bebe sees her phone light up in her purse “damnit it’s Kyle” and then Wendy’s laughing so hard hearing the call like “DUDE you didn’t TELL ME YOU LIKED HER BACK! Stan knew Wendy liked you this could’ve been so much easier and I DIDNT EVEN SEE YOU GUYS TONIGHT?” “A girls gotta have some secrets” lmao and she hangs up and Wendy’s smiling like “so, girlfriends, for real?” “Wanna make up for lost time?” Lol kissing in the car under the neon lights like a movie

Bendy Supremacy

[mangoposts]

noo i’m so sorry but especially during the tuff era matt pissed me off so bad when he was like passive aggressive in the car vids and podcasts like STOP IT

i would get so maddd if we were having an argument and he acted like that

but idk how chris would act like surely he wouldn’t yell or anything but he might just act immature and say some dumb shit idk 😭

Matt’s tough guy era was rough but i knew he was going thru an emo phase and he’d be fine if my man was acting the way he acted tho Oh🤣Im gone with the wind Bruh

Chris is the 1st out of all three of them to say outta pocket shit like straight up he’s not having nun of that…Literally yelling at him and he’s like “Yeah but can you back up your breath stank and u kinda ugly” Like ion knowLMFAOOOOOO

[potok69]

Bruh my mom is so rude -_- she said "if bad words stank, you'd smell like dead fish and ass every time you talked."

[nani-nonny]

Okay I HATE HOW WHEN AM DONE READING A CHAPTER OF YOURS AND WANNA KUDO IT, IT SAYS THAT I ALREADY DID, YPU DON'T UNDERSTAND I WANT AND NEED TO KUDO MORE OF YOUR WORK!!!

Ch 17 was oh my god *chef kiss* i would kiss this chapter if it was a book!

The first Paragraph was a great info and i love; of course when leo wants to be alone he would go places he knows his family can't find him and the older he gets he not only can hide better BUT HE KNOWS OTHER PEOPLE'S HIDING SPOTS!! Like imagine; an young adult with some problems was in an area but vanished - let's say park - leo can think of where this young adult can hide!!✨✨

But all of this hard thinking wasn't needed as leo was behind a couch - big bruh - and he joined the train but very late on " i want to spend my time with big blue as my father figure " is both awe and funny.

A soap opera marathon is something i think good because i don't know much about soap opera but it's hella long and above that Spanish?! Yeah that would be difficult for me buddy.

April pointing out that big blue is like Jupiter jim is so beautiful - despite the fact that i HATE HIM - but still adorable, and he offered to take blue to see his older brothers and sister!! That's a great treat, now i wonder if other siblings can see the older ver of them or not somehow, someway...

BAM! Little blue enters the big blue core chat and meet his older siblings, seeing older April is THE BEST because god we need more big sis April!! Then mikey pull him like how a puppeteer catch a puppet and PULL his shell into the group pile LOL. (It would be funny imagine how the little turtles fight older mikey and he just tie them around chains and just throw them left and right XD)

Then here comes big raph AND HE'S BIGGER THAN LIFE ITSELF!! Awwwww seeing how baby blue go and try to hug him 🥺🥺🥺

Then comes Donnie... Oh Donnie the " not nice and more mean Donnie " LOL

He just picked him up, dropped few words before " okay am done with him " LMFAOO and mikey calling him " rude goods " XD

And the adusity of playing volleyball while big blue is SLEEPING!! Ahahaha it's like some loading screen or when you wait in elevator to reach your floor, and mikey just turned leo's core into sims 4 XDDD

I can't wait to see leo's react from " you're the turtle's dad now!! " more then anything!!✨✨✨✨

aksjakshak it’s fine just one kudo is more than enough :))))))

vvvvvv

Leo being an unpredictable person in his family and able to predict what said family are doing down to a T really gets my brain going. It’s such an interesting concept that is so bittersweet in context.

You can’t leave little blue out of the peepaw itinerary lolll he’s the first of the brothers to witness the peepaw in action

The soap opera marathon will definitely be a doozy for me to write… if I planned to write it out but I won’t. Mainly to save time so that we dont get lost in the story and dive into the marathon with them (/j) but because it’ll be a pain in the ass to write. It’ll just be a time skip to the aftermath where they’ve accumulated weeks of stank /hj

April mentioning Little Blue’s childlike wonder to how he viewed Jupiter Jim made my heart warm :) and of course she doesn’t mean the way Jupiter Jim had treated them irl but to the excitement of their eyes locked on the screen watching all Jupiter Jim movies

(And we’ll have to see what happens in the future of this story in terms of the past turtles meeting the future turtles)

Raphael being the biggest, warmest, cuddliest teddy bear and so full of love but then there’s Donatello and Michelangelo being the “uncle figure that have a favorite and that one child is not the favorite” /j and really harnessing that “I will tolerate you for this amount of time but if you exceed that time then you can only blame yourself” /j

The future turtles playing volleyball makes me laugh a little too much because they have to do something while Leonardo is sleeping.

We’ll have to see where we go from here on hahah! Thank you for reading <3333