#a little creepy but not over the top freaky. real nice

[keeps-ache]

hotel california playing on repeat in my head, :)

[zmediaoutlet]

fic: the tonberry suite

have you ever loved something for twenty-seven years and then FINALLY work up the gumption and energy to write it? Yeah. So this is me self-indulging, at last.

title: the tonberry suite pairing: Cloud/Barret rating: E length: 6800 tags: Game: Final Fantasy VII Rebirth (2024); Gold Saucer (Compilation of FFVII); First Time; Friends With Benefits; Intercrural Sex; Size Kink; Slight D/s Elements

summary: At the Gold Saucer, the girls and Red run off for their downtime, leaving Barret and Cloud to get hotel rooms. They have a few hours to kill; Barret has a good idea how to spend the time.

(read on AO3)

Kid’s been acting weird since they got off the ship from Junon. Though, truth be told, kid’s been acting weird since Midgar. Odds are real good the kid’s been weird his whole life, but that’d be more Tifa’s call, and she’s too nice to say. “Any chance you gonna relax?” Barret says. Cloud stares straight ahead with his arms folded, boots shoulder-width apart like the freaky mako-wasting moving walkway ain’t nothing that could faze him, and Barret rolls his eyes, behind his shades. Yeah. That figures.

Long walk and a long day and a hell of a long week, though, and Barret’s due some downtime. He watches the streaking weirdness of the night blurring past the tunnel, fireworks and flashing lights and who knows what the hell else smearing the mako-green with strange colors. World moving under their feet. The girls are off somewhere playing, games and sparkly nonsense a distraction they need, probably. Long mission without a lot of light in it; he hadn’t wanted to waste the time but, hell, not like they hadn’t earned a night off. Especially since he’s feeling like he’s bruised from the top of his head to his heels with all the shit they’ve been getting heaped on ‘em, lately, and especially with…

“We’re here,” Cloud says, and takes a step forward, and sure enough the wacky walkway ends just as his boot moves from fake planet-killing speedway to cobblestone, and they look up to find—

“You gotta be kidding me,” Barret says, with the haunted hotel looming creepy and dark and just plain strange over their heads.

Cloud tips his face up, ghostly white in the shadows. “A hotel’s a hotel,” he says, quiet. He glances at Barret, quick, and then presses his lips together. “C’mon. They probably don’t have many rooms. Might have to share.”

Barret snorts. “Might have to,” he says, and watches Cloud duck his head, and resettle that fuck-off bastard of a sword on his back, and stalk forward like it ain’t no thing. Shit-hell of a day though it’s been, Barret can’t help but grin. Yeah. This is gonna go some kind of way.

*

That falling-apart dive of Johnny’s in Costa Del Sol was the first time he saw for sure, but not the first he suspected. In Midgar it was all chaos, and they were apart more than they were working together even after Barret had hired him at his exorbitant-ass prices. In Kalm they had rooms at the inn but after skedaddling down the road and hearing Cloud and Tifa’s godawful account of what had set them on this hunt they were all too dog-tired (apologies to Red) to do much more than collapse asleep, no more words exchanged. Then the road, and trading out sleeping in the tents and keeping watch, and clawing through caves and fiends and helping each other up out of the mud and saving each other’s lives, over and over and more times than he’d have thought possible, that first time when Tifa nervously introduced him to her childhood friend, this unsmiling little twerp in the uniform of the enemy who looked like he’d crack in two if Barret clapped his shoulder too hard, and who Barret was gonna dismiss out of hand because they needed real muscle for this mission, until the kid looked up, and met his eyes, and Barret saw that telltale unreal flicker of green.

Crazy, weird eyes. Cold half the time, the rest of the time mostly unimpressed, except those little moments Barret’ll catch, here and there. When a fight’s gone well and none of them are bleeding and he’ll turn and look at Barret’s chest, and then up to actually see his face, and he’ll be—maybe not smiling because that’s not something all those magic-infused muscles seem to know how to manage, but he looks—good, anyway. Glad. On the back of a chocobo with the wind in his stupid spiky hair and the sun on his face, looking like maybe death and pain aren’t top of mind, for once. And, every once in a while, looking one hundred percent his age, when one of the girls teases him, or when he’s reminded that there’s more to life than fighting, or when—say, just as an example—they’re sharing a decrepit room at a motel, and Barret’s claimed first shower because age before beauty’s got to work sometime, and he comes out toweling off and feeling less like hammered shit and Cloud sits up from his slump on the edge of the bed and looks where he might as well look because it’s not like Barret sees the point in covering up, when it’s just the guys and they got other crap to worry about, and he’s talking about hitting the beach and he’s thinking about where they’re headed next and he finds Cloud’s mouth parted and his eyes startled-wide and fixed low and he thinks, oh, there it is. Yeah. Something he’d half-wondered but put away because it hardly mattered, but—hey, there it was, after all.

*

He’s still pissed when they close the door on their room. Tonberry Suite. Fuck right the hell off. Little robot dude’s actually carrying a knife, like the little demons aren’t legit piss-off scary, merk your ass as soon as you get within five feet, like none of the goofy-ass ghosts and zombies and white-faced goth kid clerks ever could be. “Chill out,” Cloud says, and Barret says, “I’ll boot the creepy little shit out the spooky-ass window and maybe then I’ll chill out,” and Cloud rolls his eyes but, hey, there’s that expression again. Not all the way to smiling, but.

If this suite’s like the other then they’re set on beds, anyway. Two queen-sized on the one wall and an alcove in the back with another, set back behind drapes like that’s where the magic happens. All kinds of dumbass themed shit over the rest of the room—and that little Tonberry guy is looking at him, Barret swears to anything—but it’s beds and four walls and a door that locks and, hey, a bathroom. Good opportunity to shower off all the dust of the hometown he ruined. “Age before beauty,” he says, standing in the doorway.

Cloud shakes his head, setting that ridiculous sword up against the wall. “Just call dibs,” he says, like he’s too cool for school. “You’re not that old.”

“Yeah?” Barret says. “Well, maybe you’re just that pretty.” Gets the satisfaction of one of those startled-wide pretty-ass looks before he closes the door and he grunts. Score one, Wallace.

It’s a good shower. Someone’s paying a hell of a lot for this suite and the planet’s paying her share, too, so it oughta be. He comes out pummeled and mostly clean and smelling like some body wash that claims to be spiderweb soft, comfily thick black towel around his waist. Finds Cloud leaning against the wall by the window, looking out like there’s something to see besides the fake-thunderstorm effects, expression like he’s a thousand miles from here. In the shitty past or the gloomy future, Barret doesn’t know, but he ain’t having it. He was promised downtime.

“Your turn, Spiky.” A lifted shoulder, silence. Barret sighs. “C’mon, now. Red says your ass smells like blood. You wanna change that, while you got the chance.”

“My… ass,” Cloud says. Looks sidelong, slanted along his shoulder, and then his lips part again. For trying so hard to look cool he’s real bad at keeping his cards to himself. Barret’s holding the towel closed but he’s dripping on the floor and there’s a lot on display, he knows. He smiles, flat, and Cloud meets his eye and then closes his mouth and then clearly swallows, all the way across the room. Yeah. Yeah, it’s on.

Barret would’ve figured SOLDIERs would be efficient—whenever anyone asks the kid a question about his time in the service he tells some grim-ass story about control and training and everything sucking, so three minute showers would go right along with that—but Cloud’s in there for a while. Long enough that Barret steps back into his trousers, anyway, and finds the mini-bar, and makes a drink (whisky + ice cubes counts as a drink, not that he’ll tell Tifa that). He sits on the big bed at the back and listens to the rain. Fake, sure. Doesn’t sound like it. Thunder and the wind across the glass and the room dim, flickering candlelight, sconces glowing amber-red. The bed’s soft and the drapes are freakin’ velvet and it’s a cocoon, in here, like the rest of the doomed world don’t exist at all, and it’s about as far as he could get from Corel while being no more than, what, a half-mile above it. The desert stretching empty below. The wreckage so close he can see it whenever he closes his eyes.

Wrong kind of downtime. He pours a second drink, and then a third that he sets on the bedside table, waiting. The creepy little robot paces by, behind, emitting its weird humidifier-smoke. Cedar. Smell of the woods on fire. Barret breathes in deep.

Cloud finally comes out of the shower. “Took you long enough,” Barret says.

“Shut up,” Cloud says. He’s got one of the black towels around his hips, too, uniform folded neatly and boots swinging, tied over his wrist. Body a white flash against the stupid purple wallpaper, whiter when there’s a fake burst of lightning. He sets his clothes by his pack, at the foot of the bed closest to the door. Stands still, looking down. Covers the back of his neck with one hand, like… Barret doesn’t even know. What goes on in that strange head.

Not what he’s worried about, right now. “Well, don’t keep me waiting longer,” Barret says, and when Cloud turns he holds out the glass he’s had sitting there, condensation gleaming on the crystal. “Downtime.”

“Thought we were waiting until the new Heaven opened up,” Cloud says. He comes over, though, and takes the glass, so Barret can pick his own up again and hold it out. Cloud’s pale perfect little forehead gains a single line between his pale perfect little eyebrows, but he seems to remember human behavior after a second and clinks the rim of their glasses together, and takes a sip when Barret does. He doesn’t hiss or flinch or react at all to barrel-proof alcohol served nearly-neat. Freak. His tongue touches the center of his lower lip, briefly. “Hm.”

“Good shit, right?” Barret says. He tips the crystal against the light, watching how it glows amber. Watches Cloud’s face, behind it. “Yeah, I remember. And we’ll let our girl make us real cocktails when she gets that bar again. But it’s been enough of a day. Week. Shit. Enough of a life. They got a five hundred gil bottle in the bar and some cat’s paying for it? Think we deserve a taste, after all this.”

Cloud’s eyebrows raise, acknowledgment, and he looks down into his own glass. He’s wild, even just standing there. His strange, compact body. Anyone just seeing his face could mistake him for a woman, no question—Aerith told the story of just how many made the mistake back in Wall Market with vicious glee, ignoring how Cloud turned nine shades of red behind her while she did—but neck down there’s no question that this is a man. Slender as a girl, sure, but ripped where it counts, his shoulders curved with muscle, his waist and hips nipped narrow. Smaller than Barret, like most everyone is, but no frail thing, not breakable. Not oblivious, either, since as soon as he came out of the shower he glanced lightning-quick at Barret’s bare chest and shoulders and then south, to where he’d left his trousers lazily unzipped, and it’s—

“I figure we got a few hours, while the girls get all the running around out of their systems,” Barret says. Cloud squints a little, calculating, and then nods. Like it’s a battle plan they’re working out. “Yeah. So. Help me out, here.” He holds out the gun-arm.

Cloud blinks at him, startled again. For a hardcore SOLDIER-trained professional badass he sure takes his turn looking like a caught rabbit. “You can’t do that yourself?”

“Can,” Barret says. Shrugs, resting the whisky glass on his knee. “Easier if I got a partner to help out.”

One of those weird still watching moments. Cloud looking at nothing, who-knows-what thoughts passing behind his eyes. “Fine,” he says, and steps forward, and sets his hands on Barret’s arm, above the belted cover, barely damp from the shower.

Warm. Always a surprise whenever the kid’s skin touches his—seems like he should be radiating ice crystals, with how he acts half the time—and soft, like even with all that swordplay he doesn’t form calluses. The mechanism of the socket isn’t complicated and Cloud frowns down at it for a few seconds before he finds the latch, and pops it, and the release of tension from Barret’s forearm to elbow to shoulder goes through him like someone’s cast a cure spell, instantly better all the way to his toes.

He watches Cloud’s face while he finds the other latches. Frowning still, concentrating, but there’s a faint pink coming up across his cheekbones and ears. “Hey, kid,” Barret says. Flick of a glance, but Cloud’s starting to unscrew the main bolt that holds the gun into the socket and he turns back to that. “I ain’t trying to mess you around, here.”

“What does that mean,” Cloud says.

Three bolts down; Barret turns his arm over, palm up if he still had a palm, and lets the kid’s clever fingers make short work of the other half. “I’m saying, I don’t want this to be some kinda game, or confuse you, or tease, or nothing.”

The last bolt: a thunk kind of sound, and the assembly pops free, leaving Barret’s arm truncated in the steel socket that covers his elbow and where the rest of his arm was, and Cloud holding the weapon that makes him at all useful. He turns it over in his hands, curious. The broad base where the bolts connect to the socket, the gears, the internal materia-casing that makes the ammunition work. Barret’s seen it, is used to it, doesn’t care so much anymore, but he hasn’t seen someone else look at it, in a long time. Cloud frowns—of course, Cloud frowns—but clearly just trying to puzzle through the mechanism. It’s a weapon, and Cloud’s interested in those, but he looks up at Barret’s face after a few more seconds, his expression flat, cold.

“What,” he says. Distrust.

Barret shakes his head. “That’s what I’m saying. Ain’t no need for that. I ain’t teasing and I ain’t trying to make this anything it’s not. But—” He drains his drink and the whisky goes down hot, smooth, smoky-sweet, and sets the glass on the side table, and reaches out with his good left hand and cups Cloud’s bare side. God, he’s small—Barret’s hand spreading across his ribs and his thumb brushing up under the tight tiny furl of his navel—and Cloud takes a quick short breath, muscles tensing, except he couldn’t be all that surprised because he doesn’t move away, or flinch, or beat Barret’s brains in with the gun he’s still holding in both hands. Barret smiles and Cloud’s eyes—instead of squinting all bitchy or frowning or whatever else he’d expect, they get all wide again, startled, like—smiling wasn’t what he expected. This friggin’ kid. “Yeah. We got downtime. I figure, we might help each other out, maybe. ‘Cause I think maybe you been wanting to, huh? Maybe you been thinking about it, sometimes.” Cloud licks his lips, eyes dropping from Barret’s to his shoulder, his chest. “Ain’t ashamed to say I been thinking the same. You up for it, kid?”

Cloud takes a slow breath, his chest visibly rising. “That why you dropped a blanket over the Tonberry?” he says, after a second.

Flicker of a smile around his mouth. After waiting patiently through all this negotiation, Barret’s dick thickens in his trousers. He sits forward, slides his hand around to the small of Cloud’s back. “Don’t want the creepy little bastard watching, what can I say,” Barret says. Cloud rolls his eyes but does smile for real, close-lipped, and sets Barret’s gun on the table next to their whisky glasses, and Barret waits until it thunks down before he pulls Cloud in, gets him right between Barret’s knees, gets him close. Cloud’s hands land on his shoulders, tense, and Barret tips his head back, makes sure Cloud’s looking him in the eye. “To be clear,” he says, “I wanna fuck. Sound good?”

Cloud huffs. “Yeah, I got that,” he says. Nervy dart of his tongue to his lower lip, anyway. But then: “Yeah. Sounds good. But—”

“Don’t say it’ll cost me two grand,” Barret says, grinning, that hot held thing in his gut glowing like superheated ore. “Make me think you’re some other kind of merc entirely.”

“You wish,” Cloud says, and—hell, that’s a whole different world right there, unfolding in the imagination—but there he is, standing there caught between Barret’s knees, and Barret follows this kid into battle fifty times a day, trusts his orders and tactical mind more than he has anyone else in is whole life, but on this one it’s clear who’s leading and who follows, and it makes him—slide his hand gentle over Cloud’s belly, up over the skinny flat of his chest. Not smiling now, and not cool and confident and with that attitude like he’s saying fuck you to the whole world. His eyes open and surprised as any kid’s, when Barret knows the shit he’s waded through. Makes him fit his hand around the back of Cloud’s neck, thumb sliding up into the barely-damp silky soft of his hair, makes Barret pull him down—careful, guiding—and makes him kiss the kid gentle. His mouth as startled as his eyes. Breath catching in his chest, his hands gripping Barret’s shoulders so tight they might well bruise, but—after a second—he sucks in air, closes his eyes, kisses back.

Given a hundred guesses in the couple months they’ve known each other, Barret wouldn’t have pegged the kid as clumsy. That’s all it is, though, as Barret pulls him in, and gets him to climb up onto Barret’s lap—barely covered by the towel—and urges his arms around Barret’s neck, and keeps kissing him. Clumsy and maybe nervous, too, like…

Barret drags his hand down Cloud’s back, feels all that silky skin. Muscle rippling as he shrugs his shoulders, knees spreading on the bed either side of Barret’s hips. Squirming already. Barret pulls away from his mouth and kisses his jaw—no stubble, really is soft as a girl—and the side of his throat under his ear, breathing hot there in a way that’s been pretty surefire over his many years of experience, and—yep, Cloud clutches a hand to the back of his head, makes this hitched trapped little not-a-sound, like he doesn’t want to be caught enjoying himself. “Been a while,” Barret says.

Half statement, half question. Cloud shivers when Barret applies light teeth to his collarbone and then pushes him back, blinking fast, chest heaving. Looks down, and so Barret does too, and—yeah, there it is. Pushing out the front of the towel, stiff when Barret lays his hand over it, rubs. There already, damn. Has been a long time. “You good for two?” Barret says.

Cloud’s ears have gone from pink to dark red, his mouth half-open. “I—” Can’t seem to finish. Shudders when Barret closes his hand through the towel, feels his dick that way. His hips curl in and he shakes his head but it’s not no, it’s—

“Well, let’s just see,” Barret says, his own dick surging thick. He squeezes again, easily handling the whole thing, lets Cloud push forward into him, and then he takes his hand away—wait, Cloud breathes, but Barret shushes him, says, “C’mon now, help me out,” and tugs at the towel, and Cloud blinks at him confused before he lifts up on his knees and drags the thing away, tosses it to the side, and—yeah, there it is, his dick flushed-pink and stiff and hot when Barret wraps his hand around it bare, tugs, thumbs over the head where it’s peeking out of his foreskin, makes the kid shudder shoulders to hips to thighs, quivering. Doesn’t seem to know how to handle it at all but it’s hot as fuck just for that—Barret wraps his bad arm around to brace as best he can, the socket probably digging cold into Cloud’s back but he doesn’t seem to care, since he arches, curls his hips in little spasms, humping into Barret’s hand, and he comes in a minute flat, his hands gripping Barret’s shoulders, his eyes screwed shut and his face almost in pain until he’s spurting between them, striping Barret’s bare chest white, his eyes flying wide and shocked like he didn’t know what was gonna happen, like it’s a surprise.

“Goddamn,” Barret says, and he says it admiring but Cloud bites his lips together, turns his face away. “Nah,” Barret says, quick, “nah, see—” and he squeezes Cloud’s dick again—still stiff, slick now, head shiny-pink and sensitive—flips his hand around and drags his bare palm down the spine of the thing, curls his fingers under the tight smooth little package of his balls, behind, almost to his asshole. Soft, hairless. Alien creature almost except that that’s real jizz on Barret’s belly and warm skin quivering against his and a real, normal expression as Cloud frowns, slides his eyes over. Embarrassed and wanting to be told it’s okay. “Hot as hell, man,” Barret says. He leaves off petting Cloud’s crotch and drags his hand over his own belly, white smearing in the hair. “Got a backlog for me?”

“Shut up,” Cloud says, breathless sort of, and when Barret grins at him he rolls his eyes but seems to settle, maybe. Dick softer but not all the way to soft—joys of youth, right there. Long time since Barret was twenty-one and he wouldn’t go back for love nor money, but there are some advantages. He raises his eyebrows, tips his chin up, and in his lap Cloud’s barely an inch higher than him but it’s nice, sweet almost, how the kid licks his lips, and clearly has to decide to lean down and offer the kiss Barret’s asking for. Makes this little sound in his chest when he does it. If they didn’t have a hell of a to-do list in real life Barret would want to book this stupid room out for a month and see what other sounds he could drag out, past all that try-hard coolness and pretending.

But that’s later, maybe, if ever, and his dick’s straining in real time right now. “So…” he says, leaning back.

Roll of thunder from the hotel’s stupid sound system. “So?” Cloud says, arching an eyebrow—oh, he has to have practiced that move in a mirror—but when Barret’s jaw drops because—he can’t seriously—Cloud’s mouth curves, and he looks all over Barret’s face, and then pushes him back, harder, not as strong as he could be but enough that Barret drops back to his elbows, spread out on the bed. He’s inspected, and it’d look like cool analysis except Cloud’s ears are still that telltale red and his chest is flushed nearly the same color as his cockhead, standing out plump. Feels weird except there’s that echo of all those post-fight cooldowns and that shower and seeing it right in the kid’s face, as he drags his eyes over Barret’s chest and his abs and down, to where there is most definitely a lump swelling out the front of his fatigues, about as up for it as he’s been in years.

“Wanna see?” Barret says. He knows the answer but it’s gratifying anyway to see Cloud nod, and lift up on his knees to make room, and to shove the waistband down one-handed and let his dick, ah, spring out into the open. More gratifying to see that stupid expression on the kid’s face again, what’d make Barret laugh out loud if he didn’t have the ounce of sense in his head that’s kept him alive all these years.

To his credit, Cloud may be clumsy but he sure as shit ain’t shy. He reaches down and gets Barret’s dick in this underhanded grip, not tight enough and not quite right but it’s a warm hand that’s not Barret’s own and that goes a hell of a long way toward making it a better day. Barret hums, approving. Watches, propped up, while Cloud tests the weight, the thickness. His hand closing around it but only just. Barret’s not exactly vain but even after all these years of messing around with people it still does something to him, just a little. Not the size of his own equipment but seeing how they react. How this one reacts, when Barret would’ve expected indifference at best, but instead his chest lifts on a deep breath and he licks his mouth and he looks downright wild, like he’s been starving and here’s a three-course meal laid out, all his for the taking.

Not that he’s doing much taking. “Don’t mean to rush you,” Barret lies.

Cloud’s eyes sweep up. “No wonder you make such dumb decisions,” he says, and squeezes—ah—right there under the head. Learns quick. “No way you got enough blood to run your brain and this thing at the same time.”

“I make it work,” Barret says, “and screw you besides, and—god damn, kid, if you don’t—”

Cloud grins at him—an honest-to-god toothy grin, like Barret’s never seen on that porcelain doll miserable little face—and drags his hand down, cups Barret’s nuts, takes a deep breath. Bites his lower lip then. “I want…” He shakes his head. “Shit. I don’t—”

“Anything’s good with me, man,” Barret says, meaning it, not least because his dick’s fuckin’ begging at this point, with warm weight in his lap and the anticipation winding his spine so tight he feels like a volcano desperate to burst.

A soft dragging thumb over his sack, more than filling Cloud’s palm. His fingertips trace a dragging little path through the bush, up the trail to Barret’s navel. Teeth back in his lip.

Barret lays his hand on Cloud’s belly. “‘Less you want me to handle it.” Flash of relief that makes Barret want to pat him on the friggin’ head like a little kid, which isn’t exactly the image he needs right now, but hell if ain’t hot in its way, too. Little fucker’s always hot, which is half of why they’re here in the first place. “Alright,” he says, sitting up, “watch and learn,” and Cloud rolls his eyes and starts to say, “Yeah, right—” except that Barret kisses him, and it’s muffled, and Cloud doesn’t seem to mind so much that he’s not allowed to finish it.

More thunder, more lightning-strike coursing through the room. Barret hitches Cloud closer, holding him tight at the small of his back, their dicks pressing together—ah—sweet. Cloud’s hips curl in, instinct, hardening up for real again, especially when Barret kisses his throat, and his collarbone, and his absurdly pale nipple, lapping and making it tight as a bullet, provoking one of those tiny choked not-sounds that makes Barret lift his head and say, “Kid, how’m I ‘sposed to know if it’s good if you won’t let it out,” and Cloud blinks at him empty-headed until Barret drags his thumb over the nipple again, deliberately rough over the wet skin, and gets this hurt little grunt and Cloud tightening his thighs around Barret’s hips and, yeah, his dick all the way hard, ready to go again. He closes his hand around both their dicks and Cloud spasms, breath heavy, grabbing Barret’s biceps as much as he can. Looks down between them and so Barret does, too, and it’s—yeah, something else, to see the contrast. Not like Cloud’s got anything to be embarrassed about, it’s a nice little handful, pretty as a picture like every other damn thing about him, but pressed together Cloud’s all rosy petite pink to thick hefty dark, silk-smooth to hairy-rough, and the size—”What’s that, half?” Barret says, not mocking or teasing but just knowing, somewhere in the pit of his gut, that it’ll make Cloud—yeah, let out this thin whining moan, his fingers tracing the thick vein up the side of Barret’s shaft, kissing the head, feeling how much bigger. “You got it bad, kid,” Barret says, grinning, and Cloud pushes up and kisses him, to shut him up maybe, but Barret doesn’t mind that, either.

He meant it when he said he didn’t want to tease, though. He gets his hand under Cloud’s ass and flips them, gets Cloud’s thighs spread around his hips, his head tipping back on the bed, spread like an offering. Touches Cloud’s nuts again—one leaping in the sack, damn he’s hot for it—and then behind, and then back all the way, rubbing, a test. “You done this before?”

Cloud, staring up at the canopy. Expression flickers, strange. Nervous? “I…”

Barret presses with his middle finger, testing. “Don’t want to break you in half, Cloud,” he says. “Be honest on this one.”

Strange look in Cloud’s eye when he lifts his head. “We got materia for that, right?”

“Shit,” Barret says, imagination leaping in again—and the idea of being so up for it that he’d hurt that much, just to get it in, to get there—but no, no, not this time—god, he hopes soon, but not this time. He leans down and kisses Cloud again just for thinking it and then lifts up, grabs Cloud’s hip, flips him over—his dick leaping and crying at how easy the kid goes to his belly, letting Barret handle him like it’s nothing when he’s such a prickly bitch the rest of the time—and he shudders, gathers his elbows under him, braces like he’s ready for pain, like that’s all he’s expecting. But, no—Barret’s leaking he’s so ready, he’s been waiting long enough, and he can’t quite explain like he oughta but they’ve been working together long enough he’s got to trust that Cloud can follow his lead—he braces his socket by Cloud’s shoulder, spits in his palm and slicks his dick, pulls Cloud’s hips up—the kid going with it, because he’s crazy as hell—and it feels wild just to slide his cockhead against the kid’s pretty white ass, splitting the cheeks, dragging wet, pressing forward all the way so his pubes are crushed in against the pale skin and his cock’s dripping over the small of his back. Cloud’s back heaves as he drags in air, his hips tipping up. “Just—just do it—” he says, gasped thin, and Barret does pull back, dick gliding maddeningly up so close to what he can imagine would be heaven, furled tight, pale and small like the rest of him—but he ain’t an actual all-the-way bastard and so he just pushes forward, sliding his dick up between Cloud’s thighs, bulling past his sack, dragging where he’s warm and smooth and feels plenty good.

“Like that,” Barret says. Panting already, shit. Cloud looks over his shoulder, frowning muzzily, mouth open. Barret slides two fingers in and Cloud blinks at him, lets Barret drag sloppy over his tongue, and only seems to get it when a wet grip closes over his dick, Barret’s hand covering the whole thing again, curling down to touch, shit, his own dick pushing forward between Cloud’s thighs. “Close ‘em tight, huh?”

He stares over his shoulder, shuffles his knees together, makes it—tight, not slick enough but tight, hell—and then licks his own hand, reaches down, lets Barret push forward into his palm, cups and makes a tunnel for Barret to push into, knocking Barret into the underside of his own dick, taking Barret’s lead, arching his back and pushing his ass back so their hips clap together, so close to fucking for real that Barret almost doesn’t miss the real thing. Except—”Next time, baby,” he says, and his nuts surge at how Cloud’s eyes do that startle-flash, “next time, huh? I’ll get in there like you want. Spread you wide. You want that? Want me in there?”

No response but he hardly expected one. Cloud’s breathing harder than he ever does in the middle of a fight, squeezing Barret’s dick when it fills his hand, his head dropping between his shoulders, his bare shoulders and neck the perfect target for Barret to sink his teeth in—oh, and that gets a real moan, Barret’s mouth on the vulnerable knob at the top of his spine, his whole body sinking, knees sliding on the plush coverlet. Barret closes his thighs around Cloud’s, keeps him steady, bracing—the hot tunnel hotter now, sweat and smearing, Cloud’s small hand knocking them together, and Barret reaches down and covers Cloud’s hand, their fingers lacing, pressing up tight and close to Cloud’s belly, feeling how close he is with his nuts tight against the base of his little dick—”Shit, kid, you gonna beat me there?” Barret says, rough, laying flat out almost on his back. Cloud shakes his head, but just confused seems like, this whining high edge lacing every breath. Barret grins, hooks his chin over Cloud’s shoulder, breathes hot against the sweating curve of his throat. “Yeah, you are, aren’t you? C’mon, now. I’m in charge. You show me how good it feels.” Cloud presses back into him, his back curved up into Barret’s chest, his face turning so Barret can kiss his jaw, nose against his cheek. “Yeah, you got it. Now you just gotta let it go. That’s an order, SOLDIER.”

The sound Cloud makes could make Barret cream himself if he were lost in a snowfield, half-dead and unsure if help were ever gonna come. As is the kid shudders, lurching between Barret and the bed, his hand flashing back to grab Barret’s hip and pull him in harder, unnaturally strong, grip hard enough it’ll bruise. Barret takes over, cupping his spurting dick for the second time—shit, load feels as thick and strong as it was on the first go, he really does have a backlog—and it’s right there in the base of his spine, this coiling tense thing building up like reaching his limit in a fight, his balls clutching up and his dick swelling and he sinks his teeth into Cloud’s shoulder not to shout to the whole damn hotel and—ah, finally—

Dizzy for a few seconds. Fuck, it has been a long time since it was anything other than his left hand. He re-arrives in his brain in stages: loosening his jaw, and taking a deep breath, and flexing his cramped knuckles. Everything slick, sweet, enough to fuck carefully forward and smear around, making it last. Cloud’s hand’s locked onto his hip but Barret shifts his weight on his bad arm, making enough room that he can be sure the kid can take a full breath. Toothmarks in a ring on his shoulder. Barret kisses there, and then blows cool air, and is glad Cloud’s still got his face buried in his own folded elbow when he shivers all over, because hell if Barret’s gonna be able to hide the grin on that one. He really doesn’t want to tease, not yet, but he’s getting enough material for a year, here.

Speaking of—”You gotta let me go,” Barret says. Cloud makes a dazed little huh? and Barret honestly could scoop him into a bear hug. “Need my leg back here, man. We gotta clean up.”

Cloud turns his head. “Right,” he says, weak, and unclamps his hand and his thighs both, stretching out under Barret’s body.

Barret presses up on his elbow and Cloud shivers, again, muscle jumping in his thighs. Easy to urge him over, a clumsy tumble of elbows and sleek white body under Barret’s bulk, although he seems nervous, for some reason. Barret knocks his chin up with two fingers and Cloud meets his eyes. Not startled and not fuck you and not dead indifferent but some other thing entirely. “So,” Barret says. He raises his eyebrows. “That suck?”

Cloud blinks at him, lips parted, and then huffs, one of those tiny smiles starting at the corner of his mouth. “Guess not.”

“Oh, he guesses,” Barret says. He slides his thumb under Cloud’s lower lip, fair warning, and leans down slow, and is rewarded by Cloud lifting up a half-inch to meet him. Slow, sticky kiss. Soft. When Barret lifts up again Cloud looks like he could get knocked over with a feather. Cute as hell, which wasn’t how Barret expected to feel after a mutual relaxation attempt but—shit, he’ll take it. He pushes up on his good arm. “Maybe next time we don’t gotta deal with a haunted hotel for atmosphere.”

“Next time,” Cloud repeats, in a strange tone. His eyes drop from Barret’s mouth to his chest to his dick, laying soft but still thick up against Cloud’s hipbone, and his jaw clenches, and his eyes are more what Barret’s used to when he looks back up and says, “Just because you’re scared of the robot.”

“Hey, now,” Barret says, pushing upright. He lifts a finger. “Not scared. Creeped. The thing’s creepy. You just ain’t creeped because you got twenty screws loose.”

Cloud sits up, rolls his eyes. “Sure,” he says. Still with that little smile.

Thunder, again. Cloud glances at the window, sighs. Something settling over his shoulders, again, but—Barret thinks, maybe—a little less. He hopes. Or, shit, maybe not helped at all, but mutual orgasms rarely made things worse, in his experience. He ducks back into the stupid haunted bathroom, mops up. Buttons his trousers one-handed and shrugs back into his shirt and vest and brings a wet washrag out to where Cloud’s still sitting on the edge of the bed, naked and gleaming, rubbing his forehead. Hell of a sight but Barret’s got to put it away. For a while, anyway.

“I’m going to see what’s going on in this shitshow,” he says, tossing the rag. Cloud catches it, easy. “You should rest. Some shut-eye’ll do you good. Maybe you’ll be a little less weird, huh?”

Cloud’s shoulders curve in. “Maybe,” he says. Really does sound tired. Barret grabs his gun, braces it against the table until the main latch clicks and then twists his arm, locking it in place, spinning the bolts along the socket. He’s had a lot of practice. Cloud watches, holding the rag in both hands, and then says, “Hey. You mean that? About—about next time.”

Sitting there, not quite looking Barret in the eye, he looks… his age. Barret flexes his arm, makes sure the gun’s properly in place, and then picks up Cloud’s chin again, makes him look all the way up. One of the prettiest things Barret’s ever seen, truly. Lifetime to date. “I think just about any time you want it, you tell me, and barring the world blowin’ up and days needin’ saved I’ll drop trou and do my best. Won’t have to pay me no two grand, neither.”

No smile, but this little nod against Barret’s hand. Like it’s a bargain made, either way.

“Good, then,” Barret says, and lets the kid go, and walks over to the door. When he looks back Cloud seems a little more like the merc he hired all those weeks ago. Just naked, in more ways than one. He points, makes his voice firm. “Get some sleep.”

“Sure, boss,” Cloud says, dry, and Barret leaves the suite before he can do any damn-fool thing like go back over there and cover the kid with his body and drum up the enthusiasm to do the whole thing over again.

He stands in the corridor, not really taking in the stupid black velvet and the dripping sconces and the spooky organ music piped from the ceiling. His body relaxed, even if the problems of the planet are flooding back up to the top of his mind. Responsibility and history settling down in their accustomed yoke. He shrugs his shoulders, takes it. Thinks maybe it won’t be so long until there’s a little more downtime, to make the load easier to bear.

[purpleyellow]

Freaky Holidays (3)

Originally Seventeen 14th member

Hayun’s Masterlist

“With only 1 days until December 25th, the Christmas spirit turn things around and make us wonder: What would happen if Hayun was a BTS oc?”

a/n: so I’ve wanted to do a oc/group swap for the longest time and the occasion just sort of fell into place. I tried not to make it too centered around the festivities but it was kind of inevitable so apologies to those who don’t celebrate it, next week things will go back to normal. Please let me know what you thought of it, your feedback is always welcome💙

Putting on the candy cane onesie she had since pre-debut, Hayun connected her phone to the dorm’s Bluetooth system and started playing a trap version of Jingle Bell Rock. Smiling satisfied once she heard a couple of laughs erupting from the kitchen, the girl made her way to breakfast smiling smug.

“Why do you have to do this every year?” Jin managed to say as he took a deep breath, but once she took out a pair of red ray bans and put them on they all resumed laughing.

“Merry Christmas Eve bitches” Hayun T-posed in front of them before taking the sunglasses off, pausing the music, and sitting on the table normally. “Sorry about that”

“And the streak continues” J-hope giggled high fiving her and putting a plate of pancakes in front of her “We ordered breakfast because we knew you’d be too hyped to help us make food”

“But I almost never help?” The girl frowned smiling suspiciously before laughing again “Just admit you didn’t want to cook for once” 

“Okay, we admit that we’re adjusting to your ‘make the 24th’s morning the real holiday for Bangtan’ protest” Namjoon rolled his eyes taking a sip from his glass

“See, my protest is perfect. We’re usually busy on the 25th, so it makes total sense to celebrate one day earlier” She articulated with her fork making Jimin laugh once again. “I’m serious”

“I’m aware” He fanned his face to calm down and shoot her a wink “You’re a genius, unmatched and all of that”

“Compliment accepted” 

“You just forgot one loophole that we’re also busy today” Yoongi chuckled, turning her face into a bored one, and imitated her little dance “Cheer up Hayun-ah. It’s Christmas Eve”

Rolling her eyes and dancing back, Hayun reached out for two pancakes, staking them slightly on top of each other she took out the whipped cream and added it to the entire thing. Finishing by tearing little slices of bread and strategically putting them on top of the white surface.

Picking up the plate, she turned it around to the table and cheerfully said “It’s a snowman”

One by one, the boys looked at her creepy creation and then at each other, most of them with judgmental/questioning stares and Jungkook who was trying hard not to laugh.

“I might have nightmares with this later” Taehyung calmly said, his shocked face going back to normal as he nonchalantly sipped some juice.

“You guys still didn’t get in the spirit” The girl scoffed, placing the plate back down and reaching for a clean one so she could serve herself.

“I was in the spirit, that might have taken it away” Jungkook mumbled under his breath and she slapped him in the arm. “Ow, my bad”

“Talking about spirit” Namjoon cleaned his throat in a way Hayun could tell what he was going to bring up “Let’s all hope this next year you get in the mood to finally finish your mixtape”

“Wow, really Hayun? I put out two and you didn’t even make one yet” Yoongi playfully shook his head and J-Hope added something like “Hayun World isn’t going to make itself”

“It’s really good to know that the whole time I spend in the studio helping you guys with our stuff means nothing,” The girl said in a mocking tearing up tone “I see how it is. I see”

“She’s been helping me a lot” Taehyung raised his hand and she pointed at him to emphasize what he had said.

“Yoongi Oppa never acknowledges me in his studio, but so you all know I am there most days” She crossed her arms counting on her fingers the amount of stuff she had helped them with. 

“Yah, stop talking. We get it” Jin cut her off throwing a slice of bread on her face and laughing.

“No, I don’t think you do. I also” Hayun kept going but got interrupted by Jungkook picking up the bread and shoving it into her mouth until she was chewing on it.

“Wow, I’ve never seen someone talking so much right after they wake up,” He said and paused to yawn, unconsciously adding to his point.

“Hayun-ah” Jimin caught the girl’s attention and she looked over to him and nodded for him to proceed since she was still chewing “I see your efforts. Thank you for helping us” He said, doing an awkward heart with his hands.

“Okay, why are you being so nice to me today?” Her eyebrows were raised after chewing and Jimin waved her closer, both of them standing up and meeting halfway from where they were sitting at the table as he hugged her patting her head.

Whispering to her, Jimin tried his best not to laugh “I lost the ugly sweater you told me to wear today” He ended with a giggle and bolted running to his room.

“You’re not going after him?” Hobi said, impressed and she shrugged, sitting again and holding his and Jungkook’s hands as she smiled peacefully.

“It’s the Christmas spirit in me, toning down the urge to murder someone”  Letting out a breath, she got up and took her phone off the onesie’s pocket. Turning back on the music, she T-posed again and sat down going back to her meal as she and the boys grooved to the Christmas song.

[phantomphangphucker]

Ectober Week Fog/Splatter (Also Works For Darkness/Poison And Glow Stick/REDRUM): Poised To Go Splat

Casper high, predictably, can’t even have a normal dance without it getting interrupted by something ecto.

Danny pushes in the gymnasium doors, drink -which is, in his opinion, unfortunately non-alcoholic punch- already in hand. Side-stepping and leaning against the wall purely to watch the pulsing, flashing, moving strobe lights and laser beams bouncing off and curving over people glowing bright neons thanks to the blacklight. Excluding that light, it was borderline pitch-black; which he finds he’s perfectly content with. Being able to see in even absolute dark and all that. Honestly, this would probably look cooler without his fantastic night vision. Seeing as everyone else probably can’t see the turned off ceiling lights or teachers dressed in dark colours hanging out watching the dance. But fuck, at least his parents aren’t here this time. Lancer is, but Lancer’s probably the only teacher left who doesn’t hate his entire being, guts, and continued existence.

Looking around at the decorations as he wanders aimlessly over to the food table, thank everything the theme was Creepy Critters, guess the school and town were finally tiring of making goddamn everything ghost-themed. Sure it was funny and ironic at first -honestly come on, a ghost going to ghost-themed events? HILARIOUS- but things lose that little spark of novelty real quick. Especially when you are a ghost -or half of one at least-, are surrounded by and fighting other ghosts, have ghost hunters for parents and friends, and live in the most haunted town in the world. Ghosts were their thing but nobody likes a one-trick pony, especially the people living with said pony. Now what does ponies have to do with the current Halloween Casper high ball and him acquiring fake cheesy snacks? Absolutely nothing. He’s not even wearing a pony costume. Sure he thought about it, FrightKnight would argue that undead alicorns absolutely do count as a creepy critter, but Danny’s pretty sure that’s not what the school was going for here.  

Needless to say, Danny’s rocking a pretty solid -if he says so himself- raven costume. And sure, maybe it was glowing all by itself and maybe the feathers were just slightly sentient and made of black moulded ectoplasm, but it’s not like anyone here’s going to notice that. Danny is exceptionally experienced with what people will and will not notice in this school and town. Regardless, he gets his hands on his sweet cheesy puffs... and is instantly disappointed they got the no-name brand. Those things were so greasy they legitimately tasted like straight-up flavourless grease, just with a side of cheese. Like someone poured grease into a mould, filled it with air to make it puffy ‘n shit,  and then sprinkled some cheese on top like an afterthought. Needless to say, he eats an entire handful. Danny Fenton-Phantom is not a man -teen, whatever- of refined tastes or any large amount of standards. He’ll eat cheese-flavoured grease, he’ll do it gladly.

Deciding to meander onto the dance floor aka the centre of the gym, to enjoy the light show and attempt to get lost in it a little. Most people are chitchatting with their friends, dancing stupidly, pretending to be drunk, or pretending they’re about to sneak into the bathroom to fuck purely to get a rise out of the teachers. Sure it takes all of half an hour for someone to start smashing apart glow sticks and smear the liquid around, which of course cause practically half his fellow teens -including him in all honesty- to follow suit, but that’s really par for the course at any Highschool dance worth it’s salt and ectoplasm. Besides, not like he actually had to wash his costume, fuck that he’ll just absorb the ectoplasm into his system; leaving the probably toxic glow stick juice though. He doesn’t have standards but he does have at least a mild desire to not intentionally poison himself. Regardless of the fact that his ectoplasm would just destroy whatever toxins anyway. Thinking of that though, maybe he could, like, drink one or two just to freak people out. It’s not a Casper party unless Danny Fenton does something weird and freaky, right? And pretending to get repeatedly trapped inside the mirrors and writing on them to be freed was so last year, like, literally last year. Yeah fuck it, self-inflicted poisoning be damned, that’s what he’s doing this year. Meaning he promptly snaps one open and shotguns it while winking at one of the teachers he can easily see. They scowl and throw out their hands to the side. Mission accomplished already. Nice.

Vaguely he wonders what the heck his friends are up to while he dances loosely and only absently aware of people around him. He knows neither’s coming, Tucker being grounded and Sam disliking the idea of school parties while also not being willing to tolerate one purely to keep Danny company. Which was fine, he could entertain and enjoy himself by himself just fine. And he gets that he can be a little much for most people, his friends included. But hey, they haven’t totally ditched him in life/half-life, so he’s going to consider it a plus. Tilting his head back to let some of the flashing beams periodically flash him straight in the eyes, how it made everything else blackout for a bit was a nice effect even if the light bordered on painfully bright for those split seconds. He gets his friends pulling away from him some, really it was hard for humans to be close with anything that wasn’t quite human enough. Same reason Vlad was utterly friendless, alongside being an evil nutcase anyway. Danny honestly doesn’t mind, honest, he’s perfected the loner act at least to some degree most of his life. He was always only close enough with people to be able to include them in his social circle. Sure Sam and Tucker got almost unhealthily close and attached to him for a while there, but the whole ‘we almost killed you and need to protect your dumbass now because fuck, you died’ and ‘this hero thing is cool af’ things wore off real quick. Their friendship was effectively back to normal now, close but at arm's length. He liked the breathing space even if it was just slightly lonely. But again, as he spins and twists a little, he’s perfected the sorta-loner thing.

He shotguns another little glow stick -that he’s pretty sure used to be wrapped around someone’s wrist- and lays spread out on the ground; not really giving a damn about occasionally being stepped on and waving off anyone who checks on him with a cheeky ‘I'm good’. That gets boring really quick though, especially as people just consciously know to avoid his spot on the floor now. He paused in his almost attempt to push himself up at hearing someone mutter, “ah yes! Finally got this stupid thing working”. Danny tilting his head at seeing something vibrate on the ceiling before making a hissing sound and spitting out fog. Ah, so they actually dished out for a fog machine? Oh wait, never-mind. It’s got a little green flaming F on it. Ah fuck, he should probably be worried about that, that F was probably ominous all things considered. But he can’t really be bothered to do more than watch it spit fog for a bit, fog machines were frickin’ awesome. He should totally buy one. Or make one.

It don’t take long to hear a couple mildly impressed sounds over the fogging up air above everyone’s heads, and a few complaints about it apparently smelling like rotten lime juice and cat piss. Which yeah, definitely ominous. Weren’t fog machines supposed to smell like fake vanilla or something? Make you wonder just what the Hell the added strong vanilla was there to attempt at covering up. Maybe this was just what it smelled like without the added vanilla. Doubtful and Danny’s hardly ever that lucky. Hence why he’s deciding staying on the floor is officially a good idea. Watching the effect with the lasers ‘n shit is cool as heck though.

He absolutely can tell when the fog gets far enough and thick enough to reach him, ‘cause the ecto making up his costume gets just vaguely liquidy. Oh yeah, he should probably nope out of this situation. At the very least if this stuff destroyed his costume he’d be stuck in just his boxers and a wife-beater. No one needs to see that. Or more specifically, he doesn’t want anyone to see that; considering all the scarring and the muscle he’s at least attempting to hide from the school at large.

Deciding to sit up and immediately deciding that crawling would have been a better idea at feeling like someone just started jabbing tiny needles into his face, which he immediately winces at and gets up. Pushing his way past the people, some looking legitimately drunk or otherwise like hot garbage. Zone, he probably looks drunk right about now since there is precisely zero chance he’s walking in a straight line considering how everything’s warping, bending, and pulsing. Yup, leave it to his parents to absently poison him at a seemingly basic normal high school dance. Lovely.

Well at least he got to have a good time for a while there. Right now though? He so totally is going to throw up. It’s happening and it can either happen on the dance floor -gross and unpleasant for everyone around- or in the locker room/bathroom -also gross, in fact it’s just slightly more gross but less embarrassing. But it’ll be less gross for everyone else. Which, come on, other people kinda tend to be his priority.

One stroke of luck though, the locker room is blessedly empty. Saving anyone from gross or just downright weird collateral when his costume effectively explodes in a sticky gooey ectoplasmic mess. Splattering all across the room while also sticking to him like some kind of disgusting vaguely sentient tar. Which effectively flings him into the centre of the room, smashing his back onto one of the benches, and makes wet slurpy suction noises when he lands on the ground properly. He absently thinks it was the single most comical stereotypical sounding ‘splat’ noise he’s ever heard, as he groans slightly.

Unsticking his arm from the ground with wet thwap suction noises to shot his hand over his mouth as he gags. Ah yup, there’s the whole vomit thing he was talking about. Shit body, time to get up. Preferably, like, now. It takes an honestly ungodly amount of effort to peel himself off the floor, the black ectoplasm still sticking and stretching with him as he stagger walks to the bathroom and effectively throws himself at the toilet; smashing his head on the ceramic tank in the process. Because, apparently, vomiting wasn’t enough for him. No. He also needed to have a mild headache. Fun.

It takes about three seconds before he feels like he’s hurling up his entire insides -which is a plausible theory- along with inner layers of flesh -also quite possible- and it glows ridiculously; that last one he can probably blame at least partly on the whole glow stick juice shooters idea of his.

Blinking down into the toilet bowl and wheezing, single most interesting mixture of glowing colours he’s seen in a long-ass time. And oh, yup more vomiting. Ah fuck, Jesus. He shoulda stayed home. He straight up really does feel like his insides are just mildly being torn apart or maybe liquified. Which, considering his costume and it’s black splatter remains, might be legitimately accurate. Which is, like, super not good for his half ecto ass. The fuck’s he supposed to do about it though? He’s stuck with his head in a toilet, ironically splattering the inside of that bowl about as much as the rest of the place was already messy with ecto.

He should at least attempt to do something about this. His phone is fuck knows where in the black mess behind him. Ancients knows if it even still will work properly after getting effectively soaked in supremely sticky ectoplasm and probably thrown violently into something. Eh, nobody said his ass wasn’t creative; hacking up his innards or not. Electing to use some of the ectoplasm -he’s not going to question how the heck he’s able to consciously move the black ecto. Beyond that he probably absorbed it some, in some weird attempt to make up for the glow stick contaminated crap he’s been hacking up- to smear a little ‘get help’ and ‘preferably from my dumbass parents’ on the mirrors, since speaking is kinda out of the option here. Not that anyone will walk in here and not call for help; this was kinda noticeable after all.

By the time someone does wander in he’s groaning into the stupid toilet -that he just mildly hates and feels way too friendly with at the moment- and feeling like his skin is going to bubble right off his muscles, his bones feel a little loose and wet too. Which, like, all that is a super supremely not good sign. Fuck, sometimes he wished his parents were just stupid rather than stupid smart. They wouldn’t be mildly good at actually hurting his ecto-ass otherwise.

“Oh holy crap, what the fuck”. Whoever’s footsteps get closer and make squelching noises, “oh god ew, why is it so sticky? Ah ew”. Danny retches again just to make a point that would dude bro to hurry the fuck up. “Fuck. Fenton? Of course it’s you, and- oh well that’s actually worrying. Ah, I’m just gonna go call your folks. Jesus fuck. You are one poor son of a bitch, you know that?”. Danny obviously doesn’t reply to that beyond sticking up a kinda floppy saggy arm and flipping the guy off weakly. “Wow fuck, that’s- uh. Are you like dissolving or something. Why the fuck do I still live in this tow- oh yeah hi! I don’t know what’s up but Fen-Danny dude is going all exorcist in the school locker rooms. Also kinda looks like he exploded black tar everywhere and bones seem questionable at best and pretty sure the toilet is, like, glowing or some shit so maybe come and like get him? So someone doesn’t have to, like, tie a liquid Danny up in garbage bags”. Ancients, people are way too used to weird shit in this fucking town.

Danny can almost hear his parents freaking the Hell out over the dudes phone, he would be actually able to hear it if it didn’t sound like he was underwater and actively sinking down deeper. This, decidedly, sucks. But he’s kinda good at the whole dissociating away the pain and other awfulness at this point. He feels it but like he’s watching himself feel it rather than directly feeling it. It’s a lot and kinda everything, but he’s not really there for it.

He feels the guy try to pat his back or some shit, whatever it is it definitely doesn’t happen right and he can feel himself latching onto the dude and sucking out whatever bits of ectoplasm the dude’s carting around in his system -every Amity Parker was ecto-contaminates after all- and Danny’s body kinda just devours it for some more energy. “Oh god, congrats I’m officially disgusted. I mean, I already was but give me back my freaking arm. Cannibalism is so not your style. Jesus”.

Both of them hear someone else opening the door. “I really wouldn’t, there’s some honestly nasty shit going on and this tar stuff is like fucking flypaper or some shit”.

“Holy fuck! Okay this is kinda cool and super Halloween-esque. But yeah- oh fuck! Hell no!”. Danny can tell the black ecto -which, fuck, absolutely part of him now. Cool. He needed the energy anyway- has sorta bubbled and popped onto the new guy and grabs at him. Promptly absorbing more ecto from that dude and apparently his ecto has just decided that this is the course of emergency action. Decontaminate people via lowkey ecto-cannibalising them. Yeah this is his luck alright. Not that this is actually really making him any better, since he just keeps throwing whatever up. But hey, it’s keeping him from getting worse. That’s something. What he honestly doesn’t appreciate really is new guy running out of the bathroom and taking a stretchy string of black with him. Right back to the whole poison fog situation. So he makes a damn point to smack more ecto on the mirror, ‘fog machine off’.

“Ah, you literally have not let go of my arm. But ah fuck, I’ll just text a friend. Fuck man”.

-

The dance outside goes into mild panic chaos mode as soon as a guy book’s it out of the locker rooms like he’s attempting to flee from the black thing grabbing him, which promptly just explodes and splatters everywhere. Coating, bubbling, crawling, and splattering all over the floor, walls, and multiple people. From there it practically spreads around like a freaking plague sticking from person to person.

Someone does manage to get to one of the teachers though, “the, fog machine, it’s causing this, shit”. The teacher sighs, “of course something the Fenton's made is causing this”, and runs off.

The chaos only gets worse when the Fenton’s themselves barge in, everyone pointing at the black stuff -which they can’t even be sure is ectoplasm at this point- or at the locker room doors. Which is enough to jerk the two hunters out of their shock and get them back to bolting to the locker rooms, which had been their goal to begin with. Meanwhile, the teachers attempt to free people from the sticky mess, fend the black stuff off, or control the chaos. Everyone wondering why the heck school dancers can literally never ever go off without a hitch.

-

Danny makes a point to smear up the mirror messages at just vaguely scenting his folks, while the dude mutters, “oh thank fuck”. Danny can practically feel the guy flailing around the arm that isn’t apparently stuck in him, which like mind trip right? Not that this entire event wasn’t already a bullshit trip and a half.

Seconds later feeling a very solid hand on his shoulder as he retches a little more and feels dude guy get yanked away from him. Well obvious as shit what happened there. His folks suits were ecto-phobic and ecto-proof after all. “Danny? Sweetie?”. Ah so that was his mom. Nice to know. He’d like to leave this entire situation now. Thank you very much.

He can hear her scowl and sounding slightly less directly talking to him, “damnit. Looks like the ecto-repulsitory solution is affecting him. I knew we should have tested it at home”.

“There was hardly time Mads! Nothing for it now I guess!”. His dad freaking laughs. Cool. Glad they’re having fun. They could totally help him out here any minute now. Like, any minute now.

Those glow sticks were a bloody terrible idea, the toilet smells fucking rank and he’s blaming it on that; he needs some kind of scapegoat after all, and it sure as shit wasn’t gonna be his ecto.

Who he’s assuming is his mom pulls him back and he sorta collapses backwards -into what he’s just gonna assume is a blanket- rather bonelessly. Like, literally boneless. As in, fuck he’s so totally a vaguely person-shaped sorta semi-solid liquid right now. Lovely. He should probably pull himself together before he scares the piss, shit and vinegar out of his folks. And hey, he’s not smelling or tasting the lime anymore so he might actually be successful at that. Though he makes some not particularly impressed or happy gag/grumbling noises at feeling his folks physically trying to tear off stuff from him. Probably the black ecto, which was kinda understandable at the moment. But fuck, that’s kinda all that’s feeding him ecto-energy at the moment so kindly fuck off yeah? He does manage to slur out, “mom”, in an annoyed tone before gaging and coving his mouth with a very limp hand again.

“Jack, bucket now”. Which yeah cool, he’s down for not throwing up all over himself. So fine, he appreciates the bucket as he hacks and gags some more. But at the very least the whole vomit ecto thing feels less thick and sticky, more vaguely like light water. Which may or may not be a good thing. But that’s pretty typical for, like, half the shit that happens to him these days. He gives his folks a little thumbs up when he’s done though. Partly to be an ass, partly to be reassuring. Those two things don’t seem like they can coexist, but by the Ancients do they ever. His mom takes the bucket away.

Blinking his eyes open a bit blearily, noting being wrapped in a towel -an anti-ecto one specifically- like a little Danny burrito. Not that he was exactly edible. Zone, he very explicitly wasn’t edible. Considering how ectoplasm was pretty gosh darn toxic. Glancing around at the black sticky splattered everywhere, well damn he sure made one Hell of a mess. The poor fucking janitor. It looks like his folks successfully ripped it all off him and are using the blanket to keep it all off. Explains why he feels tired and energetically spent then. Wasn’t being fed/absorbing ectoplasmic energy any more. Eh oh well, not that he can really complain about that to his folks. Instead choosing to groan a little, “what have I told you guys, about not testing shit against, me and my shit, before using it, like this”. And really? They have had this conversation dozens of times. Sure they still -how they haven’t come across the idea of halfas yet is absolutely befuddling- thought he was just weirdly ecto-contaminated. But they knew shit affected him and yet....

“Sorry Sweetie”.

His dad laughs a little, “we were in a bit of a rush. Wanted to protect the dance from ghosts you know!”.

Danny snorts, oh yeah, they so totally protected it from ghosts... by literally poisoning one. “Funny thing. Don’t think no ghost, has ever crashed, one of the dances. Usually you guys”. Ah Hell, he didn’t mean for that to sound kinda cutting; based on their slight grimaces it was at least somewhat hurtful. Which of course means now he’s gotta fix that. Fuck him. “Didn’t mean it, that way. Aw Hell whatever. Let’s just go home, yeah?”.

His dad scoops him up without any hesitation, “you sure Danny-boy?”.

Danny rolls his eyes tiredly, slumping bonelessly, “I doubt I’ll be, doing much more dancing”. Hell, was anyone? Judging by how they all kinda scuttle embarrassingly out of the locker room to a gym filled with only sticky black and people still yanking their limbs and shoes out of the tar-like ectoplasm. Why the heck the laser light show is still going on he doesn’t have the slightest clue. But hey, it looks pretty fucking cool, he’ll give it that. He kinda wanted to squirm out of his fabric confines and reach down to scoop some up, it was kinda part of him after all, but Ancients knows what in all is in that stuff at this point. Bits of other people’s contamination, fog poison, glow stick juice, generalised floor hunk, food and juice obviously, maybe even bits of people’s food. Yeah, he’s gonna give that one a hard pass. Plus his folks would freak at him. They didn’t exactly want him more ‘contaminated’, after all. Still he gives an impressed whistle. One of the teachers scowling at him, “you just had to one-up yourself huh?”. Which Danny gives a cheeky lopsided and slightly melty smile at.

Danny speaks back up as his folks settle him down in the GAV, “so, what’s that stuff supposed to do? What did it even do?”. He has a few ideas but better to let them explain themselves to him. Their intentions did matter at least a little.

His dad perks up, “oh! It was supposed to disorient and discombobulate any ghosts! And make them unable to use abilities by making their ectoplasmic cells disjointed!”, then looking rather guilty, “I guess with you it made your more unusual ecto suffer some kind of disconnect with the rest of you. Like it made your body think it was rotten. Like food poisoning! And made your ecto ‘think’ your body was foreign so it tried dissolving it!”, tapping his chin, “not the slightest idea what was up with the black stuff clinging to you though”, and looks to his mom who shrugs.

Danny will admit that shit was confusing as Hell, so fine that would make a suitable deterrent. Not so suitable when the thing it’s trying to deter can’t fucking move away from it effectively though. So major design flaw there. Ah well, with his less than pleasant -for everyone involved- reaction, they’ll probably scrap this particular experiment. Which is totally fine by him. He may as well satiate their curiosity a little, to avoid any repeat incidences at the least, “ah well, I may have went and made my costume out of some of that black purified experimental ectoplasm”.

His mom blinks at him, “you did what???”, shaking her head in clear disbelief, though really they should expect this kind of stunt from him at this point, “sweetie, did you at least have something protecting your skin?”.

Danny grins a little, “I used that spray stuff”, which wasn’t even a lie. Walking around a dance with literal purified ecto on him without spraying on some kind of barrier to keep it from hurting anyone would have been grade A stupid, even for him. And honestly? That probably saved his ass slightly, was probably why that ecto had been able to absorb other ecto at all instead of just being a liquid sticky mess.

His mom taps her chin, “huh, the caustic interaction between the settled spray and fog formula must have caused the ectoplasm to coagulate and seek out energy sources”. Danny decidedly doesn’t say shit, let them think what they want. While she continues, “and you were its closest potential source but were obviously having a reaction yourself, so it just clung to you instead”. It would probably be mean of him to point at that it was kinda part of him at that point and that he could absolutely feel through it. Or that it wasn’t feeding itself but rather him. So that he, y’ know, would, like, pass out from energy loss or some shit. Passing out in a toilet, ugh that so would have been not fun. Thank you weirdly sticky black ecto stuff.

Anyway, he yawns, because now he’s tired and would like to genuinely replenish all the ecto he hacked up. At least he was a bit more solid now though. That was a positive something.

His mom smiles at him sweetly a bit as they get home, “I guess we best let you rest rather than spewing theories at you”, and nods at his dad, who swiftly and surprisingly smoothly scoops him up. Danny’s cool with this particular course of action, not making a fuss about his dad carrying him up to his room or his mom kissing him on the forehead afterwards.

Eyeing his phone, naw, he’ll let his friends find out on their own and be confused for a bit. That’s what they get for sorta ditching him.

-

Nightshade: do I want to know how you ‘unleashed a black slime monster’ at the dance?

PDAxpda: ???

PDAxpda: ‘monster’ not ‘ghost’

PDAxpda: found photo the heckers

Nightshade: someone also mentioned you got drunk on glow sticks and vomited literal rainbows

Nightshade: nice asettic but yoyr a dumbass

PDAxpda: 💯 that shits toxic

PDAxpda: not that that matters to a certain someone

Dpain: 😉

Dpain: and I guess I kinda qualify as a monster

PDAxpda: I hate the implications there

Nightshade: that black shit was you wasn’t it you ass

Dpain: only vaguly

Dpain: nebulously

Dpain: margunally

Nightshade: I hate you

Dpain: 😏

End.

[bazwillendinflames]

Gravity Falls/LIS2 AU

The last place Sean wants to spend his Summer is in a weird town in the middle of no where, Oregon, reconnecting with a Mother who hadn’t wanted to see them in years in her weird tourist trap. But Daniel is determined to go and his Dad gives Sean little choice but to babysit him.

But soon it becomes clear there is more to Beaver Creek than meets the eye and the strangeness of the town soon unlocks some family secrets and strange abilities. Maybe their Summer won’t be so boring after all.

AO3 

“Lyla, I will die of boredom.” 

“It can’t be that bad,” she replied, her voice a little tinny still. The bad reception was just one of many reasons that Sean was having an awful time. (In the week and a half since they had arrived, he’d already made a list.) 

“Nope, it is exactly as bad as I’m saying.” 

“I mean, come on, you’re Mom’s there. What’s that like that?” 

Sean scowled. “Number one on reasons this place sucks. All she talks to us about is all this weird mystic stuff she likes. Her store is so weird, it’s all crystals and bad poetry.” 

Lyla snorted. “Really?” 

“Yep. Not to mention this is the whitest town ever.” He glanced out the window, where Karen was smoking, notebook in hand and ducked his head before she could spot him. “There are no cool people.” 

“Come on, you have Danny.” 

“I get enough babysitting at home thanks.” He glanced outside again, wondering exactly how long he could bitch on the phone for and call it a break. “Anyway, this place is just making Daniel weirder. He’s convinced this place is magic or something.” 

“That’s sweet. Hey, we used to play witches when we were kids, remember?”

“Hey, you were the witch, I was a manly wizard.” 

That time Lyla actually laughed. “Sure dude. I’ll believe it when I see it.” 

“Anyway, we were into the Harry Potter books, you know before terf-face ruined them. Daniel is into the ancient runes and fake spell cards Mo- Karen sells.” 

“That’s adorable.” 

“Ugh, only you could find him adorable. That’s only because Daniel doesn’t kick you in your sleep-” 

“Did Lyla call me adorable?” 

Sean sighed as Daniel barged in. Not much had changed since home tehre at least, apart from the fact they now shared Karen’s attic room. (Bunk beds, making the being kicked in the shin at night thing even more annoying.) 

“Hey, I’m kinda on the-” 

Daniel yanked the phone and rolled on the bed. “Hiiiiii Lyla. Do you miss us?” 

“Give me that back.” 

He wiggled out of his grap. “Did you know Sean talks in his sleep, it’s so weird-” 

“You would know about weird,” he grumbled, snatching his phone back, only to find the shitty signal had finally cut out on Lyla. “Dude.” 

“Sorry.” Daniel grinned at him. “Hey, I’m helping Mom restock, can you help me reach the top shelves?” 

He checked the time on his phone. He had almost managed a whole brother-free hour. 

“Guess I should I get back to work.” 

“Cool.” Daniel followed him downstairs, bouncing with energy. “Hey, Sean what does terf-face mean?” 

  Sean was stuck behind the register, although the store was still empty. He wasn’t sure why Karen insisted on such early opening hours when no one else showed up. 

He rubbed his eyes, the early start not helped by the fact Daniel had been reading with a torch all night. He had picked up a weird book from the store or something. Of course he would pick up a late night reading habit once they were sharing a room. 

“I brought you guys some toast.” Karen balanced the plate on the top of some unsold art books. (Her organization was as great as her parenting.) 

“Thanks Mom!” 

Sean poked at a black spot under a thick layer of peanut butter. “Yeah, thanks.” 

“I gotta do some inventory but I’ll be back up for lunch.” 

“Can we go to the cool diner? Chris says the milkshakes are great.” 

Karen smiled. “Yeah. Does that sound good Sean?” 

He grunted in response and her grin flickered. 

“Right, work. You boys got this.” 

“We’re not your boys,” Sean muttered, although she didn’t hear. 

“Why are you so mean to Mom?” Daniel asked, his mouth full of toast. “She’s always nice.” 

“Right, she’s been real nice the first nine years of your life.” 

Daniel looked up at him with big eyes. “Sean…” 

“Fine, I’ll try. Put those eyes away Bambi.” 

He smiled. “So, I was thinking the strawberry milkshakes are Chris’ favourite but I like chocolate more so you could get one and we could share?” 

“Huh, yeah, sure.” Sean had only been half listening, distracted by the newest customer. Waking up early suddenly had its appeal. The girl had matted purple hair, an arm full of tattoos and a guitar strapped to her back. She caught him looking and winked. 

“Are you okay Sean? You just went really red and-” 

“What? No. Shut up.” Sean moved into a more casual position, his eyes still fixed on the pretty girl. His elbow knocked the tip jar and it fell off the edge. “Shit-” 

“Here.” Daniel put it back. “Woah…” 

“Good catch Enano.” 

“Yeah. Catch! I totally caught it.” Daniel smiled a little suspiciously. “Hey, you said a swear, you owe me a dollar.” 

“A dollar? It’s only a quarter at home.” 

“Now we’re away from Dad, you’re supposed to be a good influence.” 

“You get a quarter.” Sean dropped the coin in his hand. “Be cool.” 

“What?” 

“Hey boys.” The purple-haired girl leaned against the other end of the counter, an easy smile on her face. Her voice had a faint Southern tang. “So, I come to this town every Summer and I don’t recognise either of you cuties.” 

“I- we- um-” 

His brother beat him to it. “I’m Daniel.” 

Cursing his stammering, he finally managed to introduce himself. “I’m Sean.” 

“Why hello. I’m Cassidy.” 

“Hi. Um, cool guitar. You play?” (Internally, Sean cringed: You play? Why else would she have a guitar?) 

“Yeah, funnily enough. I’m actually here to hand out flyers for my band’s show. Could you hang it up?” 

“Yeah.” Sean took the flyer. “Your show is this Friday?” 

“And every other Friday. You wanna come?” 

“I’m invited?” 

Cassidy laughed. “Yeah sure. It is a concert. You’re lucky you’re cute, City Boy.” 

“City boy?” 

“It’s on your sweatshirt idiot,” Daniel whispered. Seattle Track Meet, 2015. He was frowning in the general direction of Cassidy. “We’re busy Friday so-” 

“No. Nope, I’m not busy. Ignore him.” Sean flattened his hair. “I’ll be there Friday.” 

“I’ll look out for you City Boy. Nice to meet you.” 

Sean waited until Cassidy had left before pumping his fist. “Yes! She called me cute Dan!” 

“You’re the worst.” 

“What?” 

Daniel pouted. “You promised you’d take me camping in the woods Friday. I already brought us marshmallows and walkie-talkies.” 

“Hey, there is plenty of time to camp in those freaky woods. But I only have one chance with a girl like Cassidy.” 

“Wrong, you have zero chances with any girl.” Daniel stomped off to the corner of the store. “You’re the worst.” 

“Dan- come on.” His brother went back to ignoring him. Sean crossed his arms. “Fine. Be like that!” 

There was the only sound of a raspberry in response. 

  “Nope, I’m totally with Danny. That was a jerk move.” 

“What? Lyla, you’re supposed to be my hype man- er woman. You’re always trying to set me up on dates.” 

“Dude, three weeks ago you were so into Jenn.” 

He sighed. “And Jenn was into Derek Anderson. We had ice cream and everything.” 

“Dude, don’t fuck up your relationship with Danny over a dumb Summer romance.” 

Sean buried his head in his pillow. “You sound like my Dad.” 

“Go to this hippy girl’s show next time. You Danny will do the face.” 

“The Bambi face?” Sean groaned. “I have been facing the Bambi face all week.” 

Lyla scoffed. “Is there anything else to add?” 

“Fine. I’ll go camping. But only for the s’mores.” 

“Okay, brother of the year.” 

“Thanks jerk.” 

Lyla blew him an exaggerated kiss. “Aw, love you too.”

Sean grabbed his backpack, moving to shove in his hoodie and torch. Daniel had already shoved one of the walkie-talkies inside. 

“Calling little wolf, we are back on for camping.” 

There was nothing but static on the other end. Sean pocketed the walkie-talkie and headed downstairs, calling his brother’s name. There was no one in the kitchen and only Karen sitting in the living room, chewing on the edge of a pen. 

“Hey, have you seen Daniel?” 

Karen looked up. “Oh, I thought you already left? Daniel passed by twenty minutes ago with the sleeping bags.” 

“That little-” Sean wasn’t panicking, but he was maybe sweating a little more than he had been before. “Um, right. I just forget a…” he scanned the room and grabbed Daniel’s weird book, “scary story. Classic camping right?” 

“Oh. Have a nice time then.” Karen hesitated. “I know you’re not thrilled to be here. But I hope by the end of the Summer we can understand each other better. 

“Me too.” Sean tried to look as un-guilty as possible. “See you tomorrow Karen.” 

  “Daniel!” He yelled, running head first into the spooky mass of woodlands beyond their store. “Dan, I’m sorry okay. Quit hiding!” 

No answer. Sean went digging for the walkie-talkie, now glowing an eerie blue. 

“Dan?” 

The walkie-talkie crackled again- “Sean?” 

“Dan.” He let out a shaky breath. “Hey, I’m sorry I ditched you-” 

“Sean, help!” 

He was clutching the walkie-talkie so hard his knuckles went white. “What’s wrong? I’m coming okay. What’s happening?” 

“Creature- help- monster- ahh!” 

Sean scanned the trees around him, suddenly aware he was lost too. Daniel had been the one eager to explore the woods but he had said it was too creepy and now it seemed he was being proven right. 

“Sean- book- monster-” 

He dug around to find the weird book Daniel had been carrying around all week. He had assumed it was from one of Karen’s displays but now he was looking at it, the journal seemed too real to go with the modern witchcraft bullshit she was trying to sell. The cover was dark blue and the pages thick with drawings and polaroids. 

“Dan, I have the book, what do I need to look for? What is this thing?” 

“Page- tree- monster-” Daniel was breathing heavily. “Hear?” 

“I can hear you,” he said comfortingly, “I’m coming.” 

He held the torch in his teeth, flicking through pages until he came across a few marked with Daniel’s doodles and writing. He seemed to be studying telekinetic powers, complete with a superhero sketch: SUPER /DUDE DAN/ WOLF? ask Sean for name ideas

He finally came across the page that looked like a bush drawn with yellow eyes. 

Dangerous 

camouflage shape shifters 

Hard to photograph shush ma-

Likes dark 

Under the original writing Daniel had added his own note: babies in woods. 

“Hey,” Sean held up the walkie-talkie, “is it these moss creatures? What well?” 

“Sean!” This time Daniel’s voice was clearer, his voice steadier. 

“Dan. What happened? Please tell me you had a good reason to go into the woods alone without telling me or Karen.” 

“Come on, that’s it? Can you yell at me when I’m not being chased?” 

“Okay. I’m coming, where are you?” 

“Where are you?” 

“By some trees. There’s a sign for a lake?” 

“Go to the lake, I’ll meet you there.” Daniel was cut off by some more static. “Hey, stop chewing that Mushroom!” 

Sean followed the signs, hoping Daniel at least would know a way out. How did he know the woods so well already? Was Sean that much of a shitty brother he hadn’t noticed him running off into these haunted-ass woods? 

The lake slowly came into the view but it was empty. 

“Daniel? Dan?” 

The lake was weirdly normal, just muddy water and a few droopy looking frogs. Still, Sean was still on edge, swinging the heavy torch from hand to hand. The faster they got home, the better. 

His relative peace was interrupted by the rustling of tree branches and heavy footsteps. Daniel came barging through the trees, a small bundle of something wrapped in his checked shirt. Something was chasing him and fast- Sean barely had time to move out the way as Daniel crashed into him. Something big and fast ran past. 

“Sean!” Daniel threw himself into his arms. “I’m sorry, don’t yell at me.” 

“I’m not mad. But you did scare the shit out of me.” 

“Sean-” 

“Fine, you get a dollar, let’s just go-” 

“No, look.” 

Sean turned slowly, met with amber eyes and a large face of bark and weeds. The creature sniffed at him curiously. 

“Um-” 

Daniel hid behind him. “Any ideas?” 

“You have the stupid haunted book!” The creature snorted, blowing hot air in his face. “Wait, the book said-” Sean slowly moved for his pocket, finding Dad’s lighter. 

“Dan, on three, we run.” 

“One-” he reached for a branch, “two-” he flicked the lighter on, “three!” Sean held the flaming branch up the creature’s face, dragging Daniel out the way as it squirmed. “What, the light should have scared it off.” 

“Remember when you said you weren’t going to get mad?” 

Sean turned to him, as Daniel revealed the squirming mass of moss in his arms. 

“You stole it’s kid?” 

“I always wanted a puppy! She’s called Mushroom-” 

Seeing it’s child, the larger creature started inching slowly towards Daniel. 

“Put it down! We can’t keep this weird monster-baby!” 

“We bonded!” The larger creature nudged its nose towards the smaller one, poking his chest with a spikey horn. “Okay, I’ll give her back.” 

Daniel held out his arms, placing the small creature on the floor. It wiggled a loose vine that could almost be a tail and followed its parents into the woods. 

Sean punched him in the arm. “That’s for trying to adopt an actual monster.” 

Daniel rubbed his arm. “Ouch.” 

Sean pulled him into a hug. “And that’s for scaring the shit out of me. I’m glad you’re okay though.” 

“Me too.” Daniel smiled. “Hey, now you owe me two dollars!” 

  After all the excitement, the brothers’ settled on camping in Karen’s yard. 

“So, you found that spooky book in a tree and didn’t think to tell me?” 

“You were being the worst!” 

Sean laughed. “Okay, I deserve that. But, next time you find a weird monster thing, tell me. We’re in this together.” 

“Okay promise.” Daniel threw another marshmallow at him. “Sorry I made you miss your concert. I guess Cassidy wasn’t that bad.” 

“Hey, I saved your butt, that’s more important.” Sean took a bite out a s’more. “Hey, there isn’t anything else you’re not telling me right?” 

“Actually,” Daniel held out his hand, a marshmallow hoovering a few inches above his palm. “Surprise?” 

(A boring Summer suddenly looked so much more appealing.)

[tintinwrites]

reunited and it’s kind of awkward | Modern!Poe Dameron x Reader

A/N: I love Finn as a social worker and I love Poe as a commercial pilot THANK YOU

Rating: T

Warning: Naughty words. Alcohol consumption. Mentions of sexy things. Hux liked you and Phasma liked Finn and it makes me laugh

Word count: 2,036, apparently!!

Summary: You agree to go to your high school reunion where you see Poe Dameron, who you have always liked even though he thinks you don’t and who has always liked you even though you think he doesn’t. Requested by @freaky-dcaky​

GIF credit: I have no idea, but it’s not mine. If you know whose it is, please let me know

                                       -------------------------------

Why did you ever let Rey talk you into coming to your high school reunion?

Everyone you had seen in the ten minutes you'd been there was either way more successful than you or hated you all these years later.

Then there was Armitage Hux who haughtily told you of all the money he made, subtly hinting that you were foolish for never returning his slightly creepy affection when you were younger.

And Phasma, whose real name you didn't ever learn, looked exactly the same as she did when she was sixteen while looking at you like you were the biggest burden to walk the earth.

You were about to walk out when Rey walked in, chatting animatedly with a man you hadn't seen in a long time.

His eyes met yours and he grinned, running to hug you. "Sunshine!"

"Finn!"

He'd been your closest friend through middle school and through most of high school, but you inevitably went on to do different things that had you incredibly busy on opposite sides of the country.

But seeing him ten years later was like seeing him one day later.

"You look like a million bucks." He was grinning when he pulled away and you gently squished his face in your hands.

"You're good? The big city is treating you nice?" You moved your hands to straighten his tie for him.

"I've been there for a decade, Y/N."

"That doesn't mean you enjoy living there."

He laughed, shaking his head lightly. "I'm doing great there."

You were going to have to ask for his phone number at some point, to call him every once in a while and see if he was still happy.

"And where's my hug?"

That voice.

It was like you were sixteen again, watching his lips move from across the table in the cafeteria as he told stupid stories to your little group.

Wondering what it would be like to be kissed by them.

He never would have kissed you in a million years and yet your chest zinged a little when you turned to look at him.

"Poe, man, you came!"

"I decided seeing you guys was more important than pretending everyone else at that school didn't exist."

Poe grinned and pulled Finn into a hug first, holding him close where other men might have hugged other men from the side while hitting each other's backs to prove their manliness.

But he was the epitome of a man without all that fragile masculinity.

He hugged Rey next, impossibly tiny in his arms as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

His eyes met yours and maybe you were sixteen, and you had simply imagined an entire ten years of life.

That was why you wanted to squeal and faint when his eyes briefly ran over your body, right?

Releasing Rey, he practically sauntered over to you.

"Hey there, little Sunshine. I'd say the sun shines out of your ass even more now than it did then."

"I fucking hate you."

You smiled widely against his neck as he wrapped his arms around you, hugging him back tightly.

He'd always been the best hugger; the kind you wanted to hug forever.

An arm was around your shoulders when the hug ended and Poe turned to face your two friends, holding you against his side whether you liked it or not.

Not that you didn't like it.

"I can already tell I don't wanna talk to anyone here. What's say we grab a few things and head outside?"

"Yeah, Phasma's going to want to talk to me and she scares the hell out of me."

Poe and Finn walked over to a refreshment table and looked around to be sure no one was watching them, then the former hid a bottle of champagne under his suit jacket and the latter grabbed a plate of hors d'oeuvres.

You looked at Rey quizzically until Poe hissed for you both, nodding to the array of champagne flutes which you each walked over to take two of.

It was like being in school again; bending stupid, little rules with your best friends and giggling together as you left the hotel's event room and went to the garden where a fire pit was on despite the humid summer air.

You, Rey, and Finn sat down while Poe popped open the champagne and poured some into the four glasses, with his free arm behind his back like he was your waiter.

Then you all eagerly dug into the appetizers and began talking about all you'd been doing since you last saw each other.

You and Rey had lived in an apartment together in Manhattan ever since, of course, and both had jobs that could easily allow for you to have your own decent places, but you would have missed each other far too much and saw no reason why you should leave each other until you found partners.

Finn was a social worker in Los Angeles and while he said it was often disheartening, putting kids in a safe place made it worth doing. He wasn't in a serious relationship, but he was very smitten while talking about a girl who worked in a coffee shop.

You remembered, of course, crying as Poe went straight into the Air Force after school and you knew he'd be away for a few years; little did you know that you would be occupied and his six years of active duty would end, and you wouldn't see him anyway. While he called New York home as much as you did, he became a pilot after his commitment and spent most of his time flying commercial jetliners everywhere.

"Did you know Hux is a bloodsucking CEO of some company that's harmful to the planet now?" You finished your champagne and held your glass out to Poe for a refill.

"Did you know that I'm not surprised?" He filled everyone's glasses.

"He thinks I should be with him and I'm telling you guys, I was about to leave when you all walked in."

"He did have a big crush on you and everyone else that was out of his league."

All four of you were already beginning to get a little tipsy, which was evident in Finn's sudden laugh.

Poe raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, buddy, what's up?"

"You're one to talk about big crushes."

"Ooh, who did Poe Dameron have a crush on that didn't fall to their knees?"

"Don't worry about it."

"Come on, tell us."

'Us' being you and Rey both staring eagerly at Poe as he stared at his glass.

Then he glared at an oblivious Finn.

"Tell them."

"Is it someone inside right now?"

"You can trust us!"

"It's not like they'll find out if it is someone inside."

Poe's eyes met yours and he almost smiled, perhaps a bit begrudgingly. "You."

You stared.

No way.

There was no way that Poe Dameron had a crush on you when you were the one hopelessly pining after him even a little after high school.

Even now, if you were honest.

Seeing him only reminded you of how much you had liked him.

You looked at Rey with fear in case her mouth was as big as Finn's and while her cheeks were colored from the buzz of alcohol, she only smiled knowingly at you.

The silence continued on and Poe considered it to be awkward now that he'd admitted it, setting his glass down and slapping his thighs as he stood up.

"I've got to take a leak."

"This is the guy who could have anyone he wanted in high school."

"I can still have anyone I want."

"Not anyone."

Poe shook his head, walking off and disappearing behind a small thicket of trees.

You watched the direction he'd gone in for a few moments, barely listening to Finn and Rey's conversation about puppies and kittens.

When it had been more than two minutes and he hadn't returned yet, you decided it would be best to go after him and see if his feelings were hurt or something.

You walked barefoot to the trees, your shoes kicked off by your seat, and found him staring at a small pond.

"You're not even peeing."

"Good thing I'm not or you'd be getting drinks and a show."

His smile didn't reach his eyes.

You stood beside him and you both looked at the rippling pond in silence.

"Tell me you're joking."

"I'm not."

"You have to be."

"Why does it have to be a joke?"

"If it's not one, that means I spent four years being oblivious to the man who I wanted most."

"It's not a joke."

You bit your lip, slightly hating yourself for the fact that you'd missed out on what would have probably been an incredible relationship.

You didn't want Poe to be the one who was awkward about it.

"It's not even a big deal. You liked me in high school."

"Yeah. Okay."

"I'm serious! I had a crush on you too."

"And you're trying to make this less awkward."

"I did like you. I didn't think you would ever be interested in me like that."

"I've always been interested in you like that. You're the one who acted like I was too full of myself to be boyfriend material."

"My flirting involves insults— whoa, wait, was that present tense?"

Poe paused then laughed, shaking his head at his own stupidity. "Fuck me."

You mumbled, "Believe me, I would like to."

Maybe you didn't say it quietly enough, since Poe was looking at you with wide eyes and a hint of an amused smile.

You slapped a hand over your face.

"Was that present tense?"

"Shut up."

He bumped his arm gently against yours. "I don't think you mentioned having a boyfriend."

You shrugged. "Men have only broken my heart."

"I haven't really had any long term relationships."

"You can have anyone you want."

"Maybe we should reflect on this."

"On what?"

"What our lives are like without each other."

"Okay."

"You like me and I like you, right?"

"Right."

"You're single, I'm single."

"Yeah."

"We're both pretty lonely."

"Funny you know that."

"And we both want someone we can hold close at night."

"Sure."

"After a thorough fuck."

You brought your champagne and had taken a sip which quickly dribbled down your chin as you laughed at his crassness. "Damn, Poe."

He laughed harder than you did, using his sleeve to wipe the champagne off your face. "I think maybe we should be together instead."

"What if we had gotten together then?" You ignored him momentarily, pretty sure you were dreaming that Poe Dameron was suggesting that you be in a relationship.

"I've thought about that."

You looked up at him eagerly, wanting to hear about his thoughts even though you were slightly drunk and very shocked at the idea that he liked you back.

He smiled.

"We'd obviously be married by now."

"Obviously."

"And we'd have a little place outside the city, and a little dog."

"—yeah."

"Maybe have a kid or be thinking about having a kid."

"That fast?"

"I think we could discuss it after being married for eight years."

"Eight years! Are we even passionate?"

"Ask our bed springs."

"We have a memory foam mattress."

"Then ask the couch springs instead."

You were staring up at him dreamily, enraptured by this life that you had never had.

Blinking a couple times, you straightened your posture. "You should probably take me to dinner first."

When did you both lean in close to each other like this?

Kissing him seemed like a very nice thing, but you would probably end up doing him next to the pond and you quickly brought your champagne glass between your faces to take a sip.

"Dinner first."

"I'm free on Saturday."

Smirking slightly, you kissed his cheek very quickly and walked back to join your friends by the fire pit.

Poe might have thought he was fucked — which he would be, against your kitchen counter on Saturday night — if he considered falling in love with someone like you anything less than the best thing he could ever do.

[confetti-bones]

Desire

Jungkook X Demon Reader

Genre: smut, comedy, angst kinda not really, this stories kinda on crack as well tbh

Warnings: language, smut

A/n: Hey so this fic was made out of me wanting to write a demon fic in some way and practice writing smut cus I’m pretty bad, so here you go, hope you all enjoy!

      You sigh as you lay in bed in complete comfort. Nothing beats the luxuries of laying in bed, I mean except for sex of course but that’s just because your an incubus. You were basically made by the devil himself to fuck the living daylight out of people who summon you.

     As you lay in bed, you felt a familiar feeling crawl through your body. Your being summoned. I wonder who it is this time? Some creep, someone innocent? You get all kinds of people summoning you.

     You quickly get up from bed and get ready. Noticing what looked to be a diary on your table. This must be what they sacraficed I’ll have to look at that later. You then walk out your door, which is now like a freaky portal thing that you can use when you get summoned by the way. You always enjoy the faces of horror you get when you step out of your portal.

     As soon as you walked through, you were met by a shocked man on the ground looking at your in horror.

A shocked handsome man on the ground looking at you in horror to be specific. You glance around the room you’re in and take notice that it looks to be a cheap apartment. Usually one that college kids live in, and looking at the man currently on the ground screaming, you’re pretty sure it’s safe to assume that he’s college age. Thank Satan, your not really into fucking underage kids, it’s not like your a pedophile.

    As you glanced around you heard what you assumed was the handsome man speaking now,

   “Who are you? What are you? Why are you in my apartment? What’s with the freaky portal?” Okay, lots of questions from this guy, he must not be a believer. You sigh before walking past the poor quivering boy and take a seat on his couch.

    “I’m Y/n, you summoned me,” you simply state, now looking down at your recently done nails In boredom. Petra did a really good job on these. I should ask for her again.

   “I summoned you? But demons arnt real?!” The poor man says, sitting up on the floor and crossing his legs. He didn’t look too terrified anymore which was a good sign.

    “Well sorry to tell you this kiddo but we are. Now where are we fucking?” You ask, excitely clapping your hands together and smiling.

The man looks as you with a face full of shock and confusion.

“What?” He asks, scooting backwards from you.

   “Oh? Are you not aware?” You tilt your head and smirk at the boy before getting up from his couch and moving to squat in front of him.

    “You summoned an incubus sweetheart,” you say, licking your lips sensually. The man’s eyes widen and he scoots even further back.

“What! Well I don’t want to have sex with you so can you just please go away?” The boy asks you. You shake your head at this and sigh,

“Sadly I can’t, as soon as you sacrificed your diary we became bound together, the only way I can leave is if we have sex,” you say, eyeing the boy curiously. Something about his aura is so pure. It makes you want to taint him.

“Can I have my diary back at least?” Jungkook asks. You shake your head, “sorry, it’s mine now” you shrug,

“Can we fuck now or what? Also what’s your name?” You ask, standing up from your spot on the floor.

“No we can’t, and my name is Jungkook” Jungkook states.

“Why not? You a virgin or something?” You pout. Jungkook awkwardly looks away and you cant help but laugh at the man,

“Ah, that explains why your auras so pure,” you say, walking back over to his couch and laying down on it.

“Anyway, just let me know whenever your ready, were tied together now so it’s not like I’m going to leave you alone kook” you say, giving the boy a small smile. Jungkook sighs and shakes his head before getting up from his spot on the floor and grabbing what looked like it was supposed to be holy water off his coffee table.

“Is that supposed to be holy water?” You ask, curiously gazing at the bottle. Jungkook enthusiastically nods his head,

“Yeah, I made it myself. So go away before I have to use it on you,” you raise an eyebrow at this and glance down at the bottle before looking back at the man’s face,

“No offense kid, but if you made it yourself, I highly doubt it works; also I haven’t even touched you so there’s no reason for you to use that stuff on me” you say.

“Yeah, but I don’t want you to take my soul” Jungkook states, crossing his arms. You laugh and shake your head.

“I’m not gonna take your soul, I’m just gonna taint your aura a bit. The only way I’ll take your soul is if we fuck like three or four times.” You state.

“Well I’m not having sex with you so just please leave, don’t taint my aura whatever that means.” You switch your position from laying down to sitting up on the boys couch and stretch your arms out.

“Alright, I’ll leave for today, this has gotten boring. Expect me back tomorrow though. Bye kookie” you say, waving your hand at the boy and smiling.

You’re then gone with a poof. You would of used your creepy portal, but you don’t think walking through his door to leave would look very cool so you decided this was the better way to go.

You then grab Jungkooks diary and hop on your bed. I wonder what this thing says.

…………………………………………………………………….

The next day you walk through your portal bright and early to give Jungkook a good scare. Maybe today you can convince him to fuck you, after all you did give him the rest of the night to think it over.

As soon as you entered your portal, you step out right in front of a screaming Jungkook while he lays in bed.

“Ah why do you have to scream do you know what time it is?” You ask, covering your ears from the window shattering screech of the man.

As soon as Jungkook relizes it’s you he stops screaming and cutely pouts at you.

“Why’d you have to come through with that creepy demon portal? And why are you here so early?” Jungkook asks. You just laugh and shake your head at the male before getting on the bed and straddling poor innocent Jungkook.

“I came early because I thought you’d be interested in morning sex. It’s not my preferred time, but it’ll do” you say, wiggling your eyebrows suggestively. Jungkook sighs and shakes his head.

“Y/n, I told you I don’t want to have sex with you. Now get off of me”

“Why not?” You pout, trying to act cute; remembering something about Jungkook writing about how he likes cute girls in his diary.

“I’m busy, and I said no please get off,” Jungkook says. You sigh and stare at Jungkooks face for a few seconds before slowly getting off of him.

“What are you busy with?” You ask, watching Jungkook get up from his bed and head to his dresser to grab clothes to wear.

“I have class and I’m going to get food with some of my friends,” Jungkook states before turning back to you.

“Now will you get out? I need to change” you shake your head, and bite your lip eyeing the boys body.

“Why don’t you put on a show for me? I do like a good strip tease every once and awhile,” you say smirking. Jungkook shakes his head and looks completely done with you.

“Just get out please,” you then stand from the bed and walk to the door opening it. Before you leave you turn back to Jungkook and smile,

“Only because you asked nicely” you wink, before stepping fully out of the room and closing the door entirely, to give the male some privacy.

After Jungkook got dressed he made breakfast for the two of you surprisingly, and left to go to class. But being the persistent incubus that you are, you decided to follow him to class.

“Why did you follow me? I don’t think you can be here,” Jungkook says sighing as he digs his computer out of his bag getting ready for his lecture.

“It’s fine,” you say sticking your legs out so they rest on top of the desk that your sat at.

“Nobody can see me except for you,” you state,

“Oh. Can they hear me talking to you and stuff though?” Jungkook asks, glancing at you curiously. You violently nod your head at this and smile,

“Yep, so you probably look like an insane person talking to their self right now,” you say. Jungkooks eyes widen at this and he glances around checking to see how many classmates of his heard him ’ talking to himself ’ and you giggle.

Eventually the lecture started so you sat boredly sighing as Jungkooks professor went on about Satan knows what.

Once Jungkooks lecture was over, Jungkook left the classroom with you following closely behind.

As Jungkook walked down the hallway he accidentally bumped into a cute looking girl and his face instantly heated up.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to bump into you!” Jungkook says a little too loudly. You raise an eyebrow at this feeling curious as to why Jungkook is suddenly very shy. Is this the type of girl he likes?

“Oh it’s okay Jungkook, it was an accident. I wasn’t looking where I was going,” the cute girl says, sweetly smiling and the boy. Jungkook furiously nods his head and cutely smiles at the girl. How come he doesn’t smile at me like that? I’ve been pretty nice to him so far; you think puffing out your cheeks and death glaring at the girl. Sadly you’re invisible so she can’t see it, but hopefully she can feel it in spirit.

The cute girl then apologises one more time before walking away leaving you and Jungkook alone together.

“So you want to fuck her but not me?” You ask, gazing at the male curiously. Jungkook gulps and turns to look at you,

“What makes you think that?” Jungkook asks, glancing around nervously.

“Hmm, I don’t know maybe, how you blushed, got overly loud, or maybe because you wrote about it in your diary,” you shrug. Jungkooks eyebrows instantly raise up in shock and embarrassment,

“You read my diary!” Jungkook yells, causing some people in the hallway to glance at Jungkook curiously; and others like he’s crazy.

“Uh yeah, you sacrificed it to me, it’s mine now. I’m allowed to read it, Jungkookie” you say, acting like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Jungkook sighs and shakes his head,

“Maybe I really should try using my holy water on you,” you dramatically gasp at this and look at the man offended,

“You wouldn’t dare!” You yell, pointing a figure at Jungkook accusingly.

“Oh but I would,” Jungkook smirks, looking at you as if he’s just won a battle.

“Oh hey Jungkook!” You hear a deep voice yell. You then turn over to see a handsome man running twords the two of you with a boxy grin on his face. Once he gets closer to the two of you he slows down before stopping right in front of Jungkook.

“Hey, you ready to get food?” Taehyung asks. Jungkook enthusiastically nods his head smiles.

“Yeah I’m ready,” Jungkook says, already starting to walk down the hallway again. You and Taehyung follow the male as makes his way to an exit.

“Oh yeah, also Jungkook,” Taehyung says; Jungkook looks over at Taehyung curiously.

“What’s up?” Jungkook asks.

“Why were you talking to yourself earlier?” Taehyung asks. Jungkook tenses and gulps before glancing over at you. You wave and wink at the boy staying silent.

“Um, you must of imagined it,” Jungkook says nervously, glancing anywhere but his friend.

“But you yelled something about your diary,” Taehyung says, looking at the man curiously. Jungkook shakes his head and walks out the exit, heading to the restaurant they were going to eat at.

“Nope I wasn’t, must of been your imagination, as I said” Jungkook firmly states.

“If you say so,” Taehyung shrugs, deciding to just take his friends word for it.

Eventually the three of you make it to the restaurant. Taehyung and Jungkook easily find their friends sat at a booth and slide in next to them. You sit down next to Jungkook and decide now would be good time to mess with him while he’s with his friends.

As Jungkook talked to his friends you put your hand on his thigh, causing the man to tense up. You slowly slide your hand further up his thigh and gave it a squeeze. Jungkook sharply took in a breath of air, and took a bite of his food trying his best to listen to the story Hoseok was telling about his dance partner. As soon as your hand was dangerously close to his crotch he shot up from his seat and announced that he needed to use the bathroom; all of his friends curiously watched him walk away before turning back to their conversation; and you follow Jungkook into the bathroom.

“Yah, Y/n what do you think you were doing?!” Jungkook practically yells.

“Hmm, I was trying to get you in the mood,” you say, stepping close to the male.

Jungkook sighs and takes a step away from you before glaring.

“Do you have to do things like this when were out in public, with my friends of all people?” Jungkook pouts.

“You never know, you could really like it. Don’t knock it till you try it as they say,” you say glancing around the room to find it’s empty. You then walk to the bathroom door and lock it so no one else can come in and inturupt you two.

“Hey I mean, if you don’t want to fuck here we could try one of the classrooms at your school, or we could just fuck in front of all your friends; maybe they’d be down to join. I wouldn’t mind they are pretty attractive,” you say, biting your lip and feeling a wave of excitement rush through your core.

“No, no and definitely not,” Jungkook says, crossing his arms and shaking his head. You pout and step closer to Jungkook.

“You wont even let me suck you off? I swear, I can make you cum quick and then you can be off to see your friends and act as if nothing happened,” you offer. Jungkook sighs and shakes his head.

“Will you please just go away for a bit Y/n,” Jungkook asks you pleadingly.

You sigh and nod, glancing at the boy for a few seconds to make sure he really wants you to leave. I have followed him around all day, I guess I could give him some time.

“Fine. Just so you know I’ll be gone for a few days, I have demon things to attend to,” you say, Jungkook raises his eyebrow at this curiously,

“What does that mean?” He asks. You smirk at the boy, feeling happy about his curiosity,

“Aw, are you interested in me Jungkook?” you gush, Jungkook scoffs and looks away from you,

“No, I’m just surprised to hear that you have other things to do except for bother me,” Jungkook says, causing you to smile at the male. Cute.

“Well, if you must know, you’re not the only person thats ever summoned me. I have other people’s needs I have to fulfill as well,” you say.

“Anyway, goodbye pretty boy, I’ll see you in a few days,” and with that you vanished from the males sight.

……………………………………………………………………

After a few days you’re finally back to bother Jungkook and hopefully fuck him. Your work with your other clients left you pretty satisfied, and your happy to say that you also got to see one of Jungkooks close friends on one of those days.

You sigh as you lay on Jungkooks couch, watching him type away on his computer working on an essay for one of his classes.

“C'mon Kookie, you must be stressed. Let me help you, a good orgasm never hurt anyone,” you say, watching the male waiting for a response only to receive nothing. He must be ignoring you. You then get up from the couch and walk over to stand behind Jungkook where he’s sat; and put your hands on his shoulders. You start rubbing his shoulders and his arms giving him goosebumps. You then put your mouth close to his neck and give him a small peck. Jungkook shivers and raises his shoulders trying to get you to stop.

“Y/n, stop I need to work on this,” Jungkook says, relaxing his shoulders again. You sigh and put your lips back on the column of Jungkooks neck, giving him open mouthed kisses and occasionally sucking on his neck leaving small hickey’s.

As you kissed his neck Jungkook let out a small moan when you found his sweet spot, smirking you concentrate on sucking his neck and giving him some pleasure. Jungkook stops typing on his laptop and quietly moans again before turning to you and stopping your ministrations.

“Y/n seriously, I need to focus on this,” Jungkook says causing you to frown.

“Oh c'mon, this is the farthest we’ve ever gotten, can’t this continue?” You beg, Jungkook shakes his head.

“You know what, you left me no choice,” Jungkook says digging his phone out. You watch him curiously as he type something on his phone before setting it down and smirking at you.

“What did you do?” You ask curiously.

“I called in some excorcists,” Jungkook proudly states.

After about twenty minutes, the excorcists knock on Jungkooks door. Jungkook sends another smirk your way before opening the door with a smile,

“Seokjin, Namjoon come in!” Jungkook says, gesturing for the two men to enter his apartment. You tilt your head in confusion and glance between the three men. These guys are the excorcists? Their just Jungkooks friends that he went to eat with the other day. Their attempts on an exorcism is probably about at good as Jungkooks attempt to make holy water.

“So where’s the incubus you’ve mentioned?” Namjoon asks, glancing around Jungkooks apartment curiously. Now that you look at Seokjin and Namjoon even more closely the two of them looked ridiculous. Their both clad in cheap holloween knockoffs of priest costumes. They really went all out for this huh?

Jungkook points to the couch where you’re currently sat.

“She’s sitting on the couch right now,” Jungkook says, looking proud of himself. He must really believe in these guys.

“Seokjin do you have the x200-1000gd reader?” Namjoon asks. Seokjin nods his head and grabs the device from a bag he was carrying that you apperantly didn’t notice till now.

“Yep I have the whatcha call it demon talking thingy,” Seokjin says happily. Namjoon sighs and shakes his head, looking disappointed in the older male,

“It’s calls the x200-1000gd,” Namjoon stays matter of factly.

“A watcha call it demon talking thingy is what it’s called,” Seokjin states just as seriously. You glance between the two males as they ridiculously argued about the name before looking over at Jungkook.

“These are your excorcists?” You ask, pointing at the two males with an unimpressed look on your face. Jungkook sighs and nods before turning to the two older boys,

“Guys can you help me now or what?” Jungkook asks, growing slightly impatient. Seokjin and Namjoon furiously nod their heads before stepping twords the couch and turning on the x200 huh? Seokjin’s right, whatcha call it demon talking thingy is so much better; They should honestly brand it.

As soon as they turned on the device it made the loudest most annoying noise ever.

“Ah is this noise even needed?” Jungkook asks.

“Uh yeah, haven’t you ever watched BuzzFeed unsolved? It goes through radio frequencies looking for paranormal activity. Of course this annoying sound is necessary,” Namjoon states. Maybe I should try talking to them? Or better yet I should just freak them out.

“So what exactly are you going to do to her once you get in contact?” Jungkook asks.

“We’re going to chant some stuff we found when we searched how to exorcise a demon on wikiHow.” Seokjin says, before digging through his bag and pulling out a folded up paper,

“Here I printed it out, you can look at if you want to help. I know you made holy water,” Seokjin says, handing the paper over to Jungkook. Jungkook grabs the paper from Seokjin’s hand and unfolds it looking over the paper in hand and nodding his head.

“This looks ligit,” Jungkook says smiling, Seokjin nods his head enthusiastically at this,

“I know right!” Namjoon coughs, stopping the two men from talking anymore,

“Alright let’s get down to business,”

……………………………………………………………………

“I seriously can’t believe you did that,” Jungkook says, obviously upset.

“Well I’m sorry what did you expect! They used wikiHow and the x200- uh the whatcha call it demon talking thingyTM, how was I supposed to take it seriously,” you say, following Jungkook around his room as gets dressed nicely.

It’s been a few days since the whole exorcism event, and you can’t say it ended well. As the two ’ exorcists ’ were trying to get rid of you, decided to show yourself and do this freaky thing where you turn your eyes black and have black blood bleed from them. It really freaked them out, they ran out of Jungkooks apartment faster then you can say Satan.

“So anyway, what are you getting all dressed up nicely for?” You ask curiously, watching Jungkook trying to get his hair to look nice in the mirror. After a few seconds you walk up to him and fix it the way he wants kindly smiling.

“There, you were really struggling huh?” You say teasingly.

“I’m going out on a date,” Jungkook says, looking at himself in the mirror.

“Oh? I didn’t take you as the type to want to go out on a date before you fuck type of guy but I’ll oblige,” you say cheekily. Jungkook glances over at you and then back at himself in the mirror,

“I’m not taking you on a date. Remember the girl that I bumped into in the hallway? It’s with her” Jungkook says, smoothing out any wrinkles in his clothes before deciding he looked good enough.

“What! Then come here and let me ruin your hair, if I knew I was helping you look nice for a date with her I wouldn’t have helped,” you pouted. Jungkook smiles at you and grabs his wallet and keys before walking to his front door,

“Too late, bye Y/n,” Jungkook says, walking out the door and locking it; leaving you inside his apartment by yourself. That bastard.

After a few weeks Jungkook still goes on dates with that girl. Every advance that you make on the boy is completely ignored, much to your dismay.

Jungkook also bought himself a new diary to write in. He won’t let you see what’s in it but from the few times you curiously glanced over his shoulder while he was writing in it you could tell he was talking about the cute girl he’s been going on dates with. It’s honestly been completely annoying you how much time hes been spending with her. There’s also the fact that anything she does with him leaves him a mess; like c'mon, the two of you have been together longer yet you haven’t even gotten to fuck him yet and here she is smiling at him and his knees give out! How is that fair!

Not to mention your sure that he doesn’t want to deal with you being around him for the rest of his life, so he really should just fuck you now so you can get going. You have other clients to please after all; there’s auras to taint and souls to take and you’ve barely gotten any of it except for when you fucked one of Jungkooks friends like a week ago.

As you sat on Jungkooks couch, as you usually do waiting for him. He finally comes back from one of his dates with that girl. But this time he doesn’t look super happy. What happened?

“Hey Jungkook you alright?” You ask concerned. Jungkook sighs and plops down next to you on the couch.

“She broke up with me,” Jungkook says quietly. Your eyes widen at this and you look at Jungkook feeling concerned,

“Are you okay? Do you know why?” You ask, searching the males face curiously.

“I don’t know, she just up and dumped me for no reason,” Jungkook shrugs. You bite your lip and look and the sad man before you.

“You’re obviously sad, do you want me to do something to cheer you up?” You ask, genuinely wanting to help make the sad man feel better. Jungkook looks over at you and glares,

“No Y/n, I’m not in the mood for one of your uplifting blowjobs that you always mention. Just go away will you?” Jungkook says.

“Jungkook that’s not what I was suggesting, I actually want to help make you feel better,” you say, feeling a little upset for some reason unknown to you.

For once you don’t feel like you need to do anything sexual to make someone feel better, you want to just to do something to show you care. You care? About Jungkook? Huh, do you? Your a demon, born to Satan, how could you care about a lowly mortal like Jungkook? You probably don’t care, you don’t think you care at least.

“Y/n just go, please,” Jungkook says, coldly. You sigh and stand from your seat on the couch.

“Alright well if you need anything, just call for me. I’ll come” you say, softly smiling at the sad man.

The next day you decide to check up on Jungkook to see how he’s doing with the whole break up thing. You saw on tv once that humans like to go get ice cream to cheer up after breakups so if he’s still upset your planning to suggest going to an ice cream shop.

As soon as you step through your portal all ready to talk to Jungkook and see how he is, your met with an unusual sight.

Today Jungkook has a guest, and normally that wouldn’t be that big of deal, you’ve been around when he’s had guests before but this time it’s different. This time his guest is one of your clients. Someone you’ve slept with two times now. Jungkooks dear friend Park Jimin.

Now normally this wouldn’t be a big deal, you’d think oh he probably won’t see her she’s invisible to everyone except Jungkook unless if she decides otherwise! Wrong! All your clients can see you.

So as soon as you stepped through your portal into Jungkooks house your eyes met Jimins and you felt like you were done for. You’re sure Jungkook won’t be too happy when he finds out you’ve tainted his dear friends aura on multiple occasions.

“Y/n! What are you doing here?” Jimin says, standing from his spot on the couch next to Jungkook. Jungkook glances between the two of you with wide eyes not understanding what’s happening.

“I’m here to visit Jungkook of course. How are you feeling now?” You ask tensily.

“Y/n how do you know Jimin?” Jungkook asks, curiously. You sigh and look between the two.

“Um, both of you are clients,” you say. Jungkook looks over at Jimin then back to you,

“Jimins one of your clients! Have you slept with him?” Jungkook asks. You slowly nod your head.

“Uh yeah, like twice now,” you say, Jimin nods his head and looks over at Jungkook,

“I summoned her a couple weeks ago. It looks like you summoned her to though huh. My little Jungkookies no longer innocent!” Jimin says, throwing arms around Jungkook like a proud parent. Jungkook shrugs Jimin off of him and shakes his head.

“I haven’t done anything with her, I refuse to,” Jungkook states seriously. Jimin looks between the two of you curiously,

“Why not? She’s great,” Jimin says, smiling. you smile back at the handsome man glad to hear you satisfied him.

“Because she’s an incubus!” Jungkook says, as if its the most obvious thing in the world.

“And you said this happened only a couple weeks ago! Y/n you knew Jimin is my friend why’d you have sex with him?” Jungkook asks, you shrug your shoulders and look at the curious male,

“Jungkook, it’s my job. Jimin summoned me. I was literally created by Satan himself, to fuck people. I don’t know what to tell you,” you say, Jungkook just looks at you silently for a few seconds with an angry expression on his face.

“Y/n, just get out,” Jungkook says causing you to sigh and roll your eyes,

“Oh come on, you’re always telling me to leave you alone, am I really that bad to be around? Jimin sure seems like he doesn’t mind my amazing precense,” you say, gesturing your hand twords the male sat next to Jungkook. Jimin awkwardly smiles and puts both his hands up in surrender,

“Please don’t include me in your argument,” Jimin says. Jungkook looks at you coldly and nods his head,

“Yeah you are that bad to be around so just go,” you shake your head,

“If I’m so bad to be around why haven’t you fucked me yet?! I’ve made it pretty clear the only way to get rid of me is to have sex, but you refuse,” you state, feeling anger starting to bubble in your chest. Why isn’t he getting it! If he hates me sooo much just fuck me already so I can be on my marry way.

Jungkook just shakes his head and sighs looking away from you.

“I think I’m gonna get going now, see you Jungkook; and Y/n I’ll see you next time I summon you yeah?” Jimin says, you nod your head and smile at the male, before crossing your arms and staring back at Jungkook.

Once Jimin left Jungkooks house, Jungkook and you stayed in your spots silently glaring at each other.

“Fine,” Jungkook says, getting up from his spot on the couch.

“Fine what?” You ask, still glaring at the male.

“Let’s have sex, I don’t want to be around you anymore,” Jungkook states. You nod your head,

“I think it’s safe to say the same for me,” you say.

“Now where are we doing this thing, I’m fine with anywhere,” you say, glancing around the man’s house.

“My room,” Jungkook says before walking to his bedroom. You silently follow the male and close the door behind you once you’re in his room before making your way over to him.

The two of you stare at each other awkwardly unsure of what to do,

“Your a virgin right? How do you want it, sweet? Rough?” You ask, pushing the male down so he’s sat on his bed. Jungkook nervously gulps at you and looks around the room.

“I just want it over with,” he says. You nod your head and move your face close to his, looking for any sign of him wanting you to stop.

After showing no sign what so ever you put your lips on his, pulling him into a sweet kiss. Giving the male some time to get used to your kisses after a couple of minutes you swipe your tounge across his lips causing the male to quietly moan. You smile at this before wrestling your toungue with his after he gives you access in his mouth. As the two of you make out your hands found their way on to his chest, feeling the firmness before moving their way down to his crotch and giving his cock a good squeeze, already feeling him slightly harden in your hand.

You detach your lips from his and smile before kissing his neck. Going for his sweet spot, causing the male to sigh out in pleasure. Jungkooks hands find their way to your ass giving you a good squeeze as you gave him butterfly kisses all over his neck.

Pecking the handsome man one more time you drop to your knees in front of him.

“I want to suck you off,” you say, undoing his belt and trying your best to get his pants off. Jungkook bites his lip before lifting his hips up and helping you remove his pants and underwear. Once the males lower half was exposed to you, you felt your mouth water at the sight.

His cock was long and thick and beautiful. You look up at the male and seductively lick your lips before taking his cock into hand and pumping him a few times.

You then put the head in your mouth and suck at it. The male above you moaned and started to pant as he looked at you from above.

“Please don’t tease me,” Jungkook says, biting his lip. You feel yourself well up in pride from how much your already effecting the male, before relaxing your throat and trying to take as much of him in as you can.

Jungkook moans out as you bob your head up and down his cock. You feel a wave of excitement go straight to your core from the sounds Jungkooks making.

You pull your mouth off him and start pumping him with your hand while you suck on his balls.

“Fuck Y/n, feels so good,” Jungkook pants. You move from his balls back to his cock sucking on him like there’s no tomorrow.

You move your head as far you can go before swallowing around him.

“I’m close,” Jungkook says, hands gripping the sheets of his bed.

As you sucked him off Jungkooks hips involuntary thrusted deeper into your throat causing you to gag around him. You grab his hips and hold him down as you swallow around him multiple times trying to get him closer to his climax.

After a few more minutes, Jungkook loudly moans and cums in your mouth. You happily swallow the bitter taste of his cum and pull your mouth off his cock smiling innocently at him.

“Think you can cum for me once more?” You ask curiously. Jungkook pants, looking completely fucked out already,

“I- I don’t know,” Jungkook says,

“Oh come on, I haven’t even got to ride you yet,” you pout. Jungkook looks down at you and bites his lip before slowly nodding his head,

“Yeah okay I can try,” Jungkook says. You smile at the male and take off all your clothes except for your bra,

“You want to help me with my bra or am I just leaving this on?” You ask teasingly, looking at the way Jungkooks eyes widen as he stares at you in lust. Jungkook nods his head and you turn around moving your hair to the side so it wasn’t in the way.

You feel Jungkook shakily breath as he fumbles with your bra clasps before finally getting it off. You turn around and smile at the male again before grabbing the Hem of his shirt and start pulling it off,

“Let’s get this off you then,” once his shirt was off you throw it some where else in the room and looked at Jungkook appreciatively.

“Your such a handsome man you know? I’m surprised you’re still a virgin,” you say biting your lip.

“Can you lay down on the bed for me Jungkook?” You ask. Jungkook nervously nods his head and lays down, cock already hard again.

You get on top of the male and straddle him aligning his cock with your entrance.

“You ready?” You ask, looking the male in the eyes. Jungkook nods his head, so you slowly descend down on his cock, letting him adjust to the new feeling before starting to bounce up and down on him.

The both of you moan, enjoying the feeling of each other.

“Feels good kookie?” You ask breathlessly. Jungkook furiously nods his head and moans shutting his eyes because of the pleasure your bringing him.

After a few more minutes of grinding and bouncing on Jungkooks cock, Jungkook grabs your hips and thrusts up into you, instantly hitting your spot causing you to moan out.

“Ah, right the Jungkook, fuck, please!” You say, gasping out at the feeling of him going deeper in you. Jungkook moans and nods his head continuously thrusting in you from below. You throw your head back in pleasure and squeeze your eyes shut.

“Fuck, I’m close,” you say. Jungkook then takes one of his hands off your hips and squeezes one of your breasts, playing with your nipples.

“Ah, cuming!” You yell out, squeezing around Jungkook.

Once you came down from your high you watch Jungkook as he thrusts into you from below before coming for a second time. Shooting his warm cum into you.

When he finished you got off of him and laid down beside him smiling,

“See that wasn’t to bad was it?” You ask. Jungkook sighs and nods,

“I guess not, and I don’t feel any different. You really didn’t take my soul now did you?” Jungkook asks curiously. You shake your head,

“I just tainted your aura a bit,” you respond. Jungkook slowly nods his head, and gets up grabbing a clean cloth to help clean you up a bit.

“And now that we’ve had sex you’ll leave me alone?” Jungkook asks. You nod your head,

“Yep, unless you summon me again of course,” You say.

“Well don’t expect that to happen ever again. Sorry to say this but I cant say being around you was a great experience,” Jungkook says.

“Oh, I don’t take offense to that at all, can’t say I enjoyed you either,” you say, smiling. For some reason your heart slightly hurts from this but you decide to ignore it. Your an incubus, a demon. No feelings are allowed for a human what so ever.

“Well I guess I best be on my way. I’ll see you maybe,” you say, getting up and putting your clothes on. You then flash Jungkook one last smile, bidding the male farewell before disappearing before his eyes.

“Goodbye Y/n,”

Masterlist 

[tehyunqs]

𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

LATE NIGHT CONFESSIONS  a lonely teenage girl, who’s in search of comfort and closure, confesses her troubles to the guy who just broke into her house.

a min yoongi oneshot.

"oh my god, yes!" you cheered at your television, jumping up slightly from your comfortable position on your bed. "olivia benson, you've done it again! i love you!" you couldn't help the huge grin that plastered itself onto your face when the detective uncovered the 20-year-old unsolved murder case, and rushed to arrest the culprit before he could escape to jamaica.

this was how you usually spent your summer vacation. you sleep at the time you usually wake up for school, which is around 6 am, watching and re-watching episodes of law and order: svu, and wake up at the time you arrive home from school.

you followed the same routine everyday. wake up at 2 p.m., clean the house, eat, and go to sleep at 6 a.m.

you would be lying if you said you weren't desperate to run out into the woods behind tour house in search of an adventure. anything that didn't force you to clean this darn house everyday, putting up with your mother's constant screams and insults.

you picked up your remote control and clicked a few buttons to select a new episode, reaching into your bag of chips only to find it empty.

realizing you'd have to abandon the comforts of your bed to get more food from downstairs, you groaned in frustration, and put on your slippers before heading towards the kitchen.

you rummaged through the cabinets in search of something that would satisfy your needs, finally deciding on a pack of cookies and the box of your favorite cap'n crunch cereal.

when you finally settled on the kitchen table, you held up the spoonful of cereal up to your mouth, but before you could take a bite, a strange shuffling that came from the living room caught your attention. you froze in your spot, blood running cold at the noises, afraid you were just moments away from encountering the dead woman your mother and relatives had warned you about.

your mind began to look for other possibilities in order to keep your composure, but when it couldn't, you thought about what you had done recently to deserve her haunting.

of course you had talked back to your parents, insulted your siblings, and lied about who had eaten the last forbidden brownie that was supposed to be for your father, blaming it in your little sister when it had actually been you, but you kept telling yourself you were innocent. as if the freaky woman could read your mind or better yet; believe you.

the sudden noise of heavy footsteps then filled your ears, and you were about to make a run for the backyard door to receive your dog's protection when whoever or whatever it was giving you goosebumps suddenly came into your view. and it was definitely not a creepy woman dressed in white with long black hair covering half of her face.

with the spoonful of cereal still near you mouth, you stared wide eyed at the stranger, who looked no older than 20, before you, mouth hanging open at the surprising reveal. he appeared to be just as shocked as you when he stopped dead in his tracks obviously not expecting anybody to be awake at three-in-the-morning, and certainly not eating in the kitchen.

you both stared at each other for a good two minutes before you decided to break the uneasy tension. "uh. . . . what are you doing in my house?" your arm was beginning to sting from prolonged period of time it was spending in the air, but you could barely feel the forming pain.

he stayed silent for a couple of minutes, trying to think of any other reason than for the one he was actually here for, but obviously came up with nothing convincing. "um. . . . robbing your house. . . ?"

his awkward and nervous tone gave away the fact that this was definitely his first rodeo. his stance and innocent face wasn't threatening to you, so instead of running for help, you kept your curious gaze on him while slowly inching the spoon closer to your mouth, chewing on the soggy cereal that had been patiently waiting to be devoured for a good ten minutes.

your mind was blank of any sarcastic responses, so you did what you did best; stood silent while making your opponent uncomfortable under your burning stare. this was a superpower your mother kindly passed on to you, but you had to admit hers was much more deadlier than yours.

when he nervously reached into his waistband and pulled out a gun, you instantly knew your superpower had once again succeeded. your hands immediately flew into the air in surrender, eyes wide when you realized someone was literally pointing a gun at you.

"woah, dude, hold on." you began. "i'm sixteen-years-old, literally half your size! what am i gonna do? jump on your leg and bite it?"

yoongi, the unknown man to you, realized you were right. but instead of surrendering, he ordered you to shut up and sit on the kitchen floor right by the sink. "alright, do whatever you want with me, just don't hurt my family."

"i'm not gonna do anything to you or hurt your family." he grimaced, feeling slightly offended you suggested he'd be capable of harming a teenage girl and her family.

you raised your brows at him and nodded slightly, watching as he placed his only weapon on the kitchen island, at your arms reach by the way, and began to rudely rummage through your living room. you guessed he was looking for valuable things to resell or pawn. your eyes would glance at the gun every so often and you contemplated on whether or not to pull it on hum, but he was honestly too cute, so you didn't.

"hey, what's your name?"

you expected him to completely ignore you, but was proven wrong when you heard his deep voice. "yoongi."

"cool, i'm (y/n)."

"don't care."

"nice."

a few minutes that consisted of you drumming your fingers against the floor tiles, your occasional humming or whistling, and yoongi shushing you went by, and you honestly had never been so bored in your entire sixteen years of existence. and you once had to sit through mrs. smith's 3-hour-long algebra two lecture.

"you're not a professional robber, are you?" you questioned the man, who was currently occupied with your father's macbook.

"of course i am." he spat back, which made you tilt your head in confusion.

"really?" you pursed your plump lips. "because you're not even wearing a mask or gloves. which would be at the top of my list if i were to plan out a robbery."

he ripped his gaze from the laptop to glare at you. "shut up."

"i'm just sayin'." you raised your arms up in defense. you almost laughed when you saw his reaction, but managed to keep your composure. "i'd probably be a better robber than you."

fed up with your constant talking, he slammed the laptop shut and picked it up before walking over to you. "oh, yeah? how?" he challenged.

"well, for starters, i'd wear a mask and gloves, so if you were to get caught, they wouldn't be able to identify you. and you wouldn't leave any evidence at the crime scene." you held up your hands so that your palms were facing him. "like your fingerprints."

when he didn't respond, you glanced at his naked hand resting against your kitchen counter and nodded towards it. he followed your gaze and quickly removed it, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"i also wouldn't leave your only weapon right next to your hostage, who's, by the way, untied!" your hands formed two fists as you held them up sarcastically in the air, his eyes slowly narrowing at your annoying. but good explanation.

"oh, and last but not least, i wouldn't stand in full view of a security camera." you couldn't help but burst out laughing when his eyes widened and he quickly ducked as if he would no longer be recorded.

"pfft, i'm kidding. there is no security camera." you chuckled when he glared at you.

"no, wait, i'm not kidding, it's right there." you pointed towards the top of your fridge as his eyes followed your finger. "i don't think it works though. it's been like two years since i saw the alarm guys come up here."

yoongi sighed and stood up from his hiding spot. "you're a real piece of work, kid, you know that?" you hummed in response while shrugging your shoulders.

"i try." you weakly responded back.

you slightly tensed when he sat down next to you, but quickly relaxed.

"truth is," he began with a sigh. "this is my first time doing something like this. i've never even stolen as much as a candy bar from the store."

"and what made you take this drastic step?"

"desperation, i guess." he raised a hand in the air to run it through his mint colored hair before letting it fall down to his lap. "my sister is sick and i can't afford half her medications. i've looked endlessly for jobs, but it's always a dead end."

your eyes widened at his words, wondering if he actually meant to share this with you.

"well, i know that it's hard, but you need to keep trying." you glanced over at the vulnerable boy. "get out there and keep looking for a job so that you earn your money honorably. because although i don't know you at all, i do know that you'll regret it if you go through with this, and earn your money this way."

yoongi turned to look over at you and was about to ope his mouth when the sound of someone coming down the stairs interrupted him. you shot up and grabbed him by the air, quickly shoving him inside of the downstairs bathroom despite his protests. "shut up! do you wanna go to jail?" you angrily whispered, slamming the door close before he could respond.

you walked towards the table and sat down, acting as if you hadn't just formed a weird bond with the guy who had just broken into your house, and shoved him into the downstairs bathroom. you stared at your melted cereal, anxiously waiting for your mom to appear. you had learned to distinct your mother's footsteps from your father's. they sounded the same to everyone else, but you were the only one who could tell the slight difference.

"(y/n), what are you doing?" you looked up at the sound of your mother's voice and smiled slightly at her.

"eating."

"of course." she shook her head, reaching into the fridge for a water bottle. "keep sneaking into the kitchen at four a.m, and you'll end up rolling across the street like your cousin johanna. you're almost there." normally you would be unaffected by her words, but the fact that yoongi could hear her made you cringe.

"love you too, mom." you responded sarcastically. you wanted to let her know you could give a rat's ass about the way she talked to you, but it completely slipped through her mind.

she ignored you, choosing to take a sip from her bottle before placing it on the kitchen counter. the same spot that yoongi had left his fingerprints on.

"i have to go to the bathroom." she announced.

"no!" you immediately shot up from your seat, causing her to stop and turn to look at you. "um, it's clogged. sorry, i went in there."

your mother sighed and placed her middle and pointer fingers on either side of her temples. "god, (y/n), you can't even go to the bathroom without messing something up."

you pursed your lips at her, slightly raising your arms up in defense. "couldn't help myself."

"just go to sleep, okay? i have to leave earlier than expected tomorrow--today, and i want this house clean before i come back."

you slowly nodded at her. you could feel your palms begin to sweat anxiously, afraid yoongi might make a noise, and force your mother to investigate, which would then result in him sitting in the back of a flashing car, and you grounded for the rest of your life.

"your father is not going to be happy about that clogged toilet."

you tilted your head to the side, smiling at her. "i'll send him my regards."

your mother rolled her eyes at you before finally leaving. you waited until you heard her door slam shut to shove yoongi out of the bathroom.

"does she always talk to you like that?"

you waved a hand in front of him dismissively. "yeah, but it's whatever. i'm used to it."

"it's not whatever." yoongi pushed, much to your dismay. "you might be her kid, but she needs to respect you."

you both walked back to the kitchen, sitting down near the kitchen seat where you once were. you sighed, turning so that your whole body was facing him.

"there's no way that's gonna get through her thick skull. her's or my dad's! it's just—" you sighed, taking a break before continuing. "i don't understand! you have no idea how hard i tried my best to please them. i—i tried doing everything like they wanted. but no matter how hard i tried, it was never enough."

"so you just gave up." yoongi finished for you. you nodded your head, looking down at the ground when you felt tears beginning to build up in your eyes, but you did your best to contain them.

"yeah, 'cause what's the point? they tell me that i'm never gonna go anything or anyone in life, and i—" you quickly stopped yourself once you processed the words that were about to come out of your mouth, finally realizing what's been holding you back these past couple of years.

"you what?"

"i guess i believed them."

you and yoongi talked for hours in the comforts of each other's presence. it wasn't until you saw the daylight beginning to peak in through the blinds that you knew this comforting conversation would need to come to a stop.

"my mom's about to get up. you need to go."

yoongi nodded, heading towards the front door, but you stopped him, alerting him about the alarm system that goes off every time someone opens the door. you pointed towards the window he had originally broken into, causing him to blush a crimson red in apology.

"wait, aren't you gonna take anything?" you questioned in confusion.

he shook his head, smiling down at you. "nah, you're too nice."

before he could finally climb out through the window, he turned back to look at you. "are you gonna call the cops on me?"

you tilted your head to the side and placed a finger against yourself chin, pretending to think before dropping the act. "nah, you're too nice."

"but, hey! if i see your face on the news, i won't hesitate to visit you in prison, and beat you up!"

yoongi chuckled and shook his head. "don't worry about it, kid. this is the last time i pull something like this."

with that, he sent you one last smile before finally heading down the road, in search of a new more honorable path.

for years, you hadn't heard from yoongi again, and you'd be lying if you said you never thought of him again, wondering if he had managed to keep his promise.

but one night as you relaxed on your day off from constantly saving lives at your local hospital, you bumped into a familiar man, who just couldn't wait to tell you about the successful business he started one week after he broke into your house all those years ago.

masterlist

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

To all library personnel -

Today, something completely different: an essay left on the desk of George Chen with a yellow sticky note reading “pls revise, need a good English grade :)” The author, age 15, is one of the teen explorers who has been descending regularly into the caverns beneath the AV Department. 

What I Did On My Christmas Vacation, by Sadiq Quarles

I didn’t celebrate Christmas, for one. Not my family’s thing. We still take a day for family time every year, just Mom and Dad and me. We eat Chinese takeout and everyone picks a movie to watch and we spend an afternoon on the couch being lazy together. This year I picked Into the Spider-Verse, even though I’ve already seen it about twenty times. I think Mom and Dad are both getting a little sick of it, but neither of them said anything.

Mom’s gotten me a smallish not-Christmas present every year since I started preschool, because she didn’t want me to feel bad the other kids were getting things and I wasn’t. I’m mostly too old to be sad about that now - I mean, I understand why they’re getting new stuff and I’m not - but it’s nice that she does. The present wasn’t that small that year. She got me a watch, a nice one, that glows in the dark and can go underwater and is supposed to be really hard to break. 

She said a watch is a good present to get someone who’s almost a man, and that once I started spending so much time down in the AV caves she knew it would be the perfect present. I don’t know how I feel about that. I mean, it’s a lot more expensive than anything she’s ever gotten me before, which feels weird. We’re not poor, but we’re not rolling in money, either. I don’t like when they spend a bunch on me. And that “almost a man” thing - I don’t know about that.

Not that I don’t want to be a boy or whatever, that’s not what I mean. Being a man, getting up growing older - it just seems like a lot right now. Everyone my age is joking about dying and everyone a little older than me seems stressed out of their minds and everyone a little older than them is working like six jobs to afford Netflix and dog food and a crappy apartment. And everyone older than that is blaming the young people for everything being so expensive and the planet melting or whatever’s happening this week.

For a couple of days I kept hearing that koalas are basically extinct now, and now no one’s saying anything about it. I don’t know if it’s because that was clickbait and koalas are actually fine or if they’re actually gone and there’s just too much other bad stuff for anyone to worry about it any more. I could look it up in a second, but I’m kind of scared to know the answer.

I think that’s why I like the caves so much. No, hang on, I’m getting there. Up top, with all the bad news nonstop, I feel small in a bad way, like all this stuff is wrong and there’s nothing I can do about it. Down here, feeling small isn’t so bad. It’s quiet, when you can get away from all the other kids running around shouting at each other. There’s a lake I like, and it takes about an hour to walk all the way out here, but the Wi-Fi works so I can listen to music on the way.

It’s a real pretty lake. The water is so clear and blue it practically glows, so I can see in here even though there’s no other light. I like to sit at the edge and read or draw. Mostly I draw pictures of my Dungeons and Dragons character. Our group used to play in the Teen Section and we stopped meeting during the jungle thing, but my character is an aarakocra paladin who’s almost to level three. I draw him a lot, and some monsters I think would be cool to use if I ever learn to DM. 

It’s mostly quiet except for water dripping down, but every once in awhile there’s a big splash out in the middle of the lake. You’d think, with the water so clear, I’d be able to see what it is, but I always miss it. That should be creepy, probably, but it feels right down here.

That’s what I mean about feeling good-small down here. It’s so ancient and creepy, you forget that magic and monsters and stuff aren’t supposed to be real. Every time I come down I feel like I’m going to find a sword or a door to another world or a monster fish that I have to slay, one of those deep sea-looking things with the big eyes and freaky teeth. I think that’d be pretty sick, right?

I think that’s why I like Dungeons and Dragons so much, too. Everything’s kind of a mess up there. Like, the world’s so wrong that even if you want to make it better you don’t know where to start. In places like this it feels like it would be easy. All you have to do is be brave and fight monsters, and next thing you know you’re a hero who’s saving the world. Wouldn’t it be cool if it was that easy? 

I think that’s why me and the other kids like it down here so much, and why we liked D&D so much before that, and why we play video games and watch movies and all that. We all want a clear quest and a map to follow and an obvious big bad, because that seems a lot easier than fixing everything actually wrong in the world. I love my parents, and I don’t want to get sent to a guidance counselor for this, but if I found a Narnia door down here? I’d walk through it, no questions asked. 

Anyway. That’s definitely 100 words, so... that’s what I did over my Christmas break, I guess.

[kawaiikichi]

This Thing Called Love (Saiouma)

Saiouma #1 (Fake Relationship) and #13 (Roommates) from the “Two Tropes + Pairing” list for @redes22! I hope you like it and let me know if you would like anything changed/edited :D

Title: This Thing Called Love

Tropes Used: #1 (Roommates) and #13 (Fake Relationship)

Summary: In order to get his ex-boyfriend to stop pestering him, Kokichi starts a fake relationship with his roommate, Shuichi Saihara. They were to stay in this so-called relationship until his ex finally got the hint and then they’d split. Kokichi even stated that he wasn’t going to fall in love with him. However, life had other plans in store for him.

One-shot is under the cut!

“You did what?!”

Shuichi could only stare at Kokichi in shock as he scratched the back of his head nervously.

“Ahahaha...sorry?” he said, an edge of uncertainty in his voice.

“Sorry? I don’t think that even cuts it! You straight-up told your ex that you’re dating me, your roommate, when we obviously aren’t dating! You should’ve at least asked me if I was okay with pretending to be your boyfriend instead of just dragging me into this nonsense without my permission! Actually, to begin with, you should’ve told me that he was harassing you in the first place! We could’ve figured something out—“

“Saihara-chan, shut up!”

A pillow was thrown in Shuichi’s face. He sputtered as the pillow hit him before it fell to the ground before him. He stared at Kokichi, who looked visibly upset.

“I panicked, okay?! I didn’t want to drag you into my personal affairs either, but I had no choice! I couldn’t think of anything else to say that would get him to back off, so I said that!” Kokichi averted his gaze, staring at the swirly pattern on his leggings. “I’m really sorry, Saihara-chan.” he apologized.

“No, I...Shoot.” Shuichi ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m the one who should be sorry. Like you said, you panicked. And when people panic, they tend to blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. So, don’t worry about it. What’s done is done and now, we need to look forward.” Shuichi explained.

“Saihara-chan...” Kokichi trailed off.

Shuichi smiled.

“Now, all we have to do is pretend we’re dating so that your ex can back off, right?” Shuichi asked.

“Yeah.” Kokichi replied.

“Okay, sounds simple enough.”

“Oh and also, I know that in the movies, whenever they fake date, they wind up falling in love for real, but I’m letting you know right now that that is not going to happen! I don’t have any intentions of falling in love with you, got that, Saihara-chan?!”

“I know. I won’t do the same, either.”

“Good.”

Kokichi extended his hand out.

“Shake on it?” he asked.

Shuichi nodded.

“Shake on it.” he replied as he took Kokichi’s hand and shook it.

With that, their fake relationship started.

💜💜💜💜

Nagito stared at Kokichi curiously, taking a sip from his cola.

“You have a boyfriend?” he questioned.

“Y-Yeah, I do.” Kokichi stuttered out.

“That doesn’t sound too convincing, Kokichi. Are you lying to me?” Nagito asked.

“No. Why would I lie to you?”

“Oh, I don’t know...you’re planning on shaking me off despite how much you still love me?”

“Oh, please. I despise you.”

“No, you don’t. You still love me.”

“No, I don’t. How could I possibly have a boyfriend if, god forbid, I still had feelings for you? And speaking of boyfriends,” Kokichi looked at his phone. “Actually, he should be coming now to meet you.” he said.

“Oh?” Nagito questioned as the restaurant door swung open to reveal Shuichi, who was in a simple navy blue sweater, tan pants, and navy blue Oxfords.

“Ah! Over here, Shuichi!” Kokichi called out, waving Shuichi over.

Shuichi seemed to still at the way Kokichi used his first name so casually, but he managed to shake it off as he walked over to them. He pressed a kiss to Kokichi’s temple before sitting down beside him.

“Hi, Kokichi.” he said.

“Hi, my beloved.” Kokichi moved to hold Shuichi’s hand and brought it on top of the table for Nagito to see. “So, this is my ex-boyfriend, Nagito Komaeda. And Komaeda-chan, this is my boyfriend and roommate, Shuichi Saihara.” he said.

“It’s nice to meet you.” Shuichi said.

“The pleasure is mine, too.” Nagito said.

He looked between Shuichi and Kokichi.

“So, how did you guys meet?” Nagito asked.

“When we moved into our dorms. He was unpacking when I came in. We didn’t get along at first, but we eventually became friends and then lovers.” Shuichi explained.

“And how did you two start dating?” Nagito asked.

“Shuichi was the one that confessed to me. We were walking back to the dorms after a night of karaoke with some friends and he asked me out. I said yes and now we’re dating.” Kokichi explained.

“I see...and how come you didn’t tell me that you were dating him the first time?” Nagito questioned.

“Because I didn’t think it was your business, Komaeda-chan.”

“And what if I said that I don’t believe any of what you just said?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I mean your whole story about how you got together. It sounds fake.”

Kokichi and Shuichi tensed up.

Shit...did he see through our little charade already? But I thought we were doing good, Kokichi thought to himself.

Kokichi let out a nervous laugh.

“What are you saying? Of course we’re dating! Why wouldn’t we be?” he asked.

“Because you’re fake dating. That’s the only thing that would make all of this make sense.” Nagito explained.

Kokichi gritted his teeth.

“We are dating.” he growled out.

“Then, I’m going to need proof. Maybe some photos or something.” Nagito said, a sly grin crawling onto his lips.

The grin made shivers course through Shuichi’s body.

Was Ouma-kun seriously dating this guy? He’s really creepy, he thought to himself.

“You want photos? Fine, I’ll show you some.” Kokichi said as he whipped his phone out and began scrolling through his photos before finding some pictures of them taking selfies at a karaoke bar near the campus.

He showed it to Nagito, who took the phone from him and observed the photos. He grinned.

“Sure, they’re cute. But, these look like photos that best friends would take together, not lovers.” he said.

“What the fu—“

“Kokichi, calm down.” Shuichi spoke, massaging Kokichi’s hand in an attempt to calm him down.

Kokichi glared daggers at Nagito, who dissolved into loud cackling that startled some people seated nearby.

“My, this is so amusing! Very amusing, indeed!” Nagito stood. “Well, I’ve got to get going. I have an engagement to attend. In the meantime, take some photos that will actually convince me that you two are a couple. I’ll see you two soon.” he said before walking off.

As soon as Nagito was out of earshot, they both let out a sigh of relief they realized that they were holding in until now.

“My god, that was intense.” Shuichi watched Kokichi in surprise. “I can’t believe you used to date a freaky and manipulative guy like him.” he commented.

“Trust me, I can’t believe it, either. Apparently, he’s always been messed up, but I was too blind to see it until we finally broke up. Anyway, that’s all in the past now.” Panic flashed through Kokichi’s eyes. “What do we do now?! He says he’s not convinced!” he hissed.

“Okay, calm down, just...” Shuichi sighed. “We’ll just need to take the pictures and act lovey-dovey in them. That should get him.” he said.

“I sure hope so...” Kokichi trailed off.

He took a sip from his glass of grape Panta.

“So, should we go on a fake date this weekend?” Kokichi asked.

“Yeah, we can do that. Let’s plan it out once we get back to the dorm.” Shuichi said.

Kokichi nodded.

“Alright. Sounds good.”

💜💜💜💜

Shuichi sat outside a clothing store, waiting patiently for Kokichi to come out.

For their date, they decided to go shopping in Shibuya for the day before having dinner at a family restaurant and then go back to the dorms. So far, they had taken some photos, but the only thing that came close to them being lovey-dovey were the strip of photos that they took at a photo booth an hour ago.

He sighed, reaching up to run his fingers through his hair.

Gosh, when will Kokichi come out? This is starting to get ridiculous, he thought to himself.

He was ready to pull out his phone and text him when Kokichi came out, holding a bag in his hand.

“Hey, Saihara-chan! Look at these!” he called out as he walked over to him.

Shuichi watched as Kokichi pulled out a black shirt that said “I have everything I need” in white letters and a white shirt that said “I am everything” in black letters.

“I got us couple t-shirts! The black one is yours and the white one is mine. We can wear these and take pictures with them on.” he explained.

“I see...” Shuichi trailed off.

“Come on, let’s head to the restroom and put them on!” Kokichi chirped.

Then, he clasped Shuichi’s hand in his own, lacing their fingers together. Shuichi jumped, looking down at their intertwined hands in surprise.

“Ouma-kun...?” he spoke.

“We need to act like we’re dating, right?��� Kokichi asked.

Shuichi slowly nodded.

“Yeah...I guess you’re right.” he said.

They stepped into the restroom and changed into the shirts. After that, they continued to walk through the crowded streets of Shibuya, their hands clasped tightly together all the while. Eventually, they found themselves at the Hachiko statue.

“Oh! It’s the Hachiko statue!” Kokichi looked up at Shuichi. “I want a picture.” he said.

“You do?” Shuichi questioned.

Kokichi nodded.

“Yeah! Take my pic!” he chirped as he let go of Shuichi’s hand and raced over to the statue.

“Alright...” Shuichi took Kokichi’s phone and turned on the camera, adjusting everything accordingly. “Smile!” he called out.

Kokichi smiled as Shuichi pressed the shutter, capturing the moment. He took a couple more using his phone and they switched spots. Eventually, Kokichi was approached by a young couple, who offered to take a picture of the two of them. Kokichi thanked them and went to join Shuichi, bringing an arm around his torso. Shuichi did the same as the woman counted to three before taking the picture.

“Okay! Last one for good luck!” she called out.

Kokichi smiled as an idea hit him.

“Hey, Saihara-chan. Don’t move.” he instructed.

“Huh? What—“ Shuichi didn’t get to finish his sentence, for Kokichi had gotten on his tiptoes and leaned in, pressing his lips to his cheek.

Shuichi tensed at the feeling of Kokichi’s warm lips against his cheek as the photo was taken. Kokichi withdrew and made his way over to the couple without a word, thanking them before the couple walked off.

“Let’s go, Saihara-chan! I’m starting to get hungry.” Kokichi called out.

“H-Huh?” a blush threatened to make its way to Shuichi’s cheeks. “A-Ah, I’m coming!” Shuichi responded as he headed over to Kokichi, hoping to calm the erratic racing of his heart.

💜💜💜💜

It was three weeks after their date in Shibuya that Nagito approached them again, asking that they sit at a bench near the art building on campus and talk about Shuichi and Kokichi’s so-called relationship.

“So?” Nagito downed some Dr. Hopper. “Where are the photos?” he asked.

“Right here.” Kokichi replied, handing Nagito his phone.

Nagito took it and began to scroll through his camera roll, observing each and every photo. He would nod his head every once in a while, leading Kokichi to believe that he was slowly but surely becoming convinced.

Yes! If this all goes well, then he’ll finally stop bugging me and then Saihara-chan and I can stop this farce once and for all, he thought to himself.

Suddenly, his heart clenched at the thought of ending things with Shuichi.

Huh?

Wait, wait, wait.

Why did my heart clench like that all of a sudden? It’s not supposed to do that. I’m supposed to be happy that this will all be over! So why am I reacting this way, he asked himself.

Unless...I actually fell in love with him along the way?

Kokichi wanted to slap himself.

No! No, there’s no way that’s possible! Me, falling in love with Saihara-chan even though I explicitly stated that I wouldn’t? That’s impossible, he told himself.

Nagito’s humming was what pulled Kokichi out of his turbulent thoughts as he smiled.

“Your photos certainly give off that lover vibe. Not to mention the shirts that you are wearing today. They’re certainly something a couple would wear. So, I’d say you two have convinced me.” Nagito said.

Kokichi’s eyes sparkled with delight.

“Yes! So, that means—“

“But.” Nagito pressed his lips into a thin line. “There is one thing that sticks out to me so much that I can’t be entirely convinced just yet.” he said.

He looked at Shuichi and Kokichi.

“You two haven’t shared an actual kiss.” he stated.

Kokichi stilled.

An...actual kiss?

He could only stare as Nagito continued.

“I mean, the forehead and cheek kisses are fine, but you’ve never kissed each other on the lips. A couple has had to have kissed each other on the lips by now, yes? So, it seems odd to me that you haven’t shared a real kiss yet.” Nagito explained.

“Well, it’s because we’ve decided to wait until we’re ready—“

“Or it’s because your relationship is fake and you two aren’t actually dating. Besides, why would two people who aren’t interested in each other kiss one another on the mouth?”

Kokichi bit his lip.

Shoot. He got us there, he thought to himself.

He shot Shuichi a look, silently pleading for him to do something.

“It looks like I hit it on the nail. So, was I right?” Nagito asked.

“No. Actually, you’re far from the truth.”

Kokichi looked at Shuichi.

“Shuichi...” he trailed off.

“You want to see a real kiss, right? Well, we’ll show you one.” Shuichi said.

In that moment, Shuichi grabbed Kokichi by the wrist and pulled him towards him, their lips coming together in a kiss. Kokichi immediately stiffened, not sure what he should do now.

Shuichi cupped his cheeks, stroking them gently as if to urge him to kiss back. Kokichi slowly complied, his hands moving to rest on Shuichi’s shoulders as Shuichi continued to kiss him lovingly.

They withdrew after a couple of minutes, panting softly. Then, they turned to see a stunned Nagito.

“Are you convinced now?” Shuichi asked.

“I...well, yes. I am convinced. Your kiss had so much love in it that it was hard to ignore.” Nagito stood. “I’ll leave Kokichi alone from now on. You two take care and be happy.” he said before turning and walking off.

Shuichi sighed in relief.

“Oh, thank god that’s finally over...” he trailed off.

He looked down and realized that Kokichi was still in his arms.

“Ah! I...I’m so sorry!” he quickly pulled away. “I shouldn’t have kissed you so suddenly. I should have asked before I did that—“

“N-No, you don’t need to apologize! It had to be done...” Kokichi trailed off. Shuichi bit his lip.

“I see...” he trailed off.

“Well...at least it’s finally over.” Kokichi said with a chuckle.

“Yeah.” Shuichi replied.

They both chuckled, but it did nothing to rid them of the awkward atmosphere that hung over their heads.

💜💜💜💜

A month went by after the kiss. Since then, Kokichi’s thoughts had grown more turbulent and he was confused as to what it is that he felt for Shuichi. Eventually, he had an “oh” moment upon realizing that in the end, he did fall in love with Shuichi during their time together as a fake couple.

Now that he came to this realization, however, that just made things awkward between them. Kokichi didn’t know how to act around his roommate now and every time they would touch on accident, they would pull away as if they had been scorched by fire.

Kokichi contemplated telling Shuichi how he felt, but he feared that Shuichi would accuse him of breaking his own rules and something told him that Shuichi didn’t feel the same way. So, Kokichi decided that it was best to say nothing.

He hoped that that would be enough to keep those feelings at bay.

Kokichi finished up his homework as Shuichi came out of the shower in a simple grey shirt and plaid pajama pants.

“You’re still working on homework?” Shuichi asked.

“No, I just finished.” Kokichi replied.

“I see.” Shuichi said.

Kokichi watched as Shuichi towel-dried his hair, some ends sticking out and his ahoge popping back up. From where he laid, he could smell the faint scent of sandalwood and peppermint. It was Shuichi’s scent and he was in love with it.

If he could, he would bathe in it all day.

He shooed that image out of his mind as Shuichi went to sit on his bed, sighing as he grabbed for his phone and began to scroll through it.

That same awkward silence hung over them. It was so thick that a knife couldn’t slice through it. Kokichi bit his lip, wondering if he should ask something. As he was getting ready to, Shuichi set his phone down and he spoke.

“Okay, we need to talk.” he said.

“About what?” Kokichi asked.

“I’ve been wondering this for a while, but has something been bothering you as of late?” Shuichi inquired.

Kokichi stilled.

Gosh, as expected of a detective in training...he can see right through me, he thought to himself.

“Not really...” Kokichi trailed off.

“So, there is something bothering you, then?” Shuichi asked.

“I...” Kokichi bit his lip.

“There is, huh...do you want to talk about it?” Shuichi asked.

“We can, if you’d like. However, I’m not sure where to begin...” Kokichi trailed off.

“That’s fine. One thing I was wondering was if it has something to do with me.” Shuichi said.

“You?” Kokichi questioned.

“Yeah. You’ve been acting weird around me and so I’m beginning to wonder if it has something to do with me. If so, then I can see if we could do a roommate switch—“

“No! Oh, god no! There’s no need for a roommate switch! It’s just...” Kokichi trailed off.

He bit his lip again.

Should I really say it, he asked himself.

“Saihara-chan...” he trailed off.

“Yes, Ouma-kun?” Shuichi answered.

Oh whatever. I’ll just tell him. Besides, it’s not a good idea to keep these feelings bottled up inside me forever, he told himself.

“Saihara-chan, I...” he let out a shaky sigh. “I’m in love with you.” he said.

“You’re...what?” Shuichi asked, surprise evident in his features.

“I know, it sounds crazy, especially since I said that I wasn’t going to let it happen, but I fell in love with you. I fell hard and now I can’t stop. I love you, Saihara-chan.” he explained.

Shuichi fell silent. Kokichi swallowed, wondering if he should’ve said anything.

He’s not saying anything. Oh god, maybe it wasn’t a good idea for me to tell him, after all, he thought to himself.

“Saihara-chan, forget what I said—“

“I feel the same.”

Kokichi blinked.

“Huh?” he questioned.

“I said that I feel the same. I love you too, Ouma-kun.” Shuichi said.

Kokichi’s heart skipped a beat. His cheeks began to flush red as Shuichi continued.

“I’ve felt this way ever since you kissed me on the cheek in Shibuya. I couldn’t get you out of my head and eventually, I realized that I was in love with you. But, I didn’t say anything because you made it clear that you didn’t want this turning into something more, so hearing you say that you also love me surprised me.” Shuichi explained.

Kokichi saw the blush that began to make its way onto Shuichi’s cheeks and he couldn’t help but giggle.

“That long, huh? It took me until you kissed me in front of Komaeda-chan to realize that I was in love with you. So, I took longer to figure it all out.” he said with a laugh.

“Is that so...” Shuichi trailed off.

He looked at Kokichi.

“Hey, if it’s okay...may I kiss you?” Shuichi asked.

“You don’t even need to ask.” Kokichi replied.

Shuichi stood and headed over to Kokichi’s bed, climbing onto it and cupping Kokichi’s cheek. Then, he closed the distance between them.

The kiss was sweet and gentle, making Kokichi want to melt into it. He kissed back just as gentle as Shuichi did. They pulled away a couple minutes after, pressing their foreheads together.

“I love you, Kokichi.” Shuichi said.

Kokichi smiled.

“I love you too, Shuichi.” he said as they leaned back in for a another kiss that was more gentle than the previous one.

[residentanchor]

In the Shadows Lies a Secret

A rewrite of an old idea I had for Halloween! And I finished it this time!

Word Count: 4762

Warnings: Creepy, disappearances, bad ending, no one technically dies I guess?, shadows

Pairings: none

Summer, 1987

“I’m telling you, I know what I saw!”

“I believe you, I’m just saying! How could you have seen him if he’s been missing for years? No one’s seen him in decades!”

“I don’t know, Rem, but I know it was him! I’m sure of it!”

“Just… Drop it? Please? I don’t like this, it doesn’t feel right.”

“....”

“Look, I just don’t want something bad to happen to you and this whole thing is creepy. I know you like creepy things but… You know I wouldn’t speak up otherwise.”

“... Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. I… I should just forget about it.”

“I doubt you’ll be able to forget but just… try and let it go?”

“Sure. No more ghost hunting. Come on, let’s get home before the sun goes down.”

“Hey.... Thanks.”

“Yeah, shut up and let's go.”

Present day, 2017

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Patton.” The man leered into the studio apartment, scanning it carefully. “It’s rather… small.”

“Sure it is, but it’s mine!” Patton walked over and sat down on the couch facing a tv stand that held no television itself. “This is a futon so this is where I’ll be sleeping until I can get an actual bed.”

“That is where you’re sleeping? That can’t be healthy!”

“Roman, it’s fine!” Patton leaned back into the couch and grimaced a bit. “Besides, I have my eyes on a few of those city yard sale sites for a new bed. I snagged this for like, twenty bucks!”

Roman’s nose scrunched up at the unruly sight of the futon and sighed. He had helped bring it in the first time before the apartment was cleared out and it didn’t look any better in its new surroundings than it did the first time he saw it. “I mean, it’s not the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen… and as long as you plan on getting an actual mattress, I can let it slide. I don’t know why you didn’t just wanna crash at my place!”

“Because, Roman! I can’t keep relying on other people. You and Logan have been roommates for years and there’s hardly enough room for the two of you!” Roman sighed and nodded, agreeing with that statement. “I’ll be fine. It’s just until I can afford some real furniture.”

“I don’t know how you found this place.” Roman walked over to the only window in the apartment and pulled back the blinds. “It’s the creepiest part of town!”

“I think it just gives it character!” Roman looked over to his best friend as he smiled optimistically on his second hand couch. “Don’t you?”

Roman shook his head and let out a sigh. “I don’t understand how you’re never bothered or creeped out by things like this.”

“I dunno, never have. My parents even told me stories as a kid where I just unplugged my night light and hid under my bed. Said I was looking for my imaginary friend made of shadows or something silly.” Patton turned and fell back onto his couch, staring up at the ceiling. “I just find the dark comforting.”

“You’re a weird cookie, Pat, but I wouldn’t have you any other way.” Roman turned and looked around the empty apartment, one box of Patton’s clothes still not put away into the closet and a small box simply labeled ‘kitchen’ sitting on the counter. “Well, I have you all moved in since there wasn’t much. I’ve got practice I need to get to but you can always call me to come back if you snag anything else for this place, okay?”

“Okay! Thank you, Roman!”

“I’ll lock the door on my way out!”

Patton listened to the sound of the door closing shut with a click before he smiled. “Worrywart.”

Patton enjoyed the silence around his apartment, the passing of cars on the busy street below mixed in with a few faint voices as they walked by. It was a nice ambient noise, one he was going to have to get used to but certainly didn’t mind.

It was sweet of Roman to be concerned. After all, after Patton’s last job laid him off with no notice, he had to scramble to find a new place he could afford. He didn’t know what he would do without his two best friends helping him out. They had been living together for convenience for years while Patton had a solitary apartment by himself. They always thought it was weird since Patton was very social, but even he needed to recharge his batteries in solitude once in a while.

He decided to get up and sort through what little he still had before making an early dinner. There wasn’t much he could do for entertainment until the internet was hooked up, but he had his laptop and a few things on that he could still play without internet. Or he could always open the browser and play that game with the cute little dinosaur!

Sure, things weren’t perfect, but he had gotten through worse! He just hoped he was able to sleep well that night.

Spring, 1996

“Patton?! Sweetie, where are you?! Come to mommy honey!!”

“Mommy!”

“Oh, Patton, don’t run off like that, you scared me!”

“Sorry, mommy. I made a friend! He was super nice and said we can play later!”

“Not today, sweetie. You know you shouldn’t talk to strangers, okay? Come on, let’s go home. And don’t run off on me like that again!”

---

Patton woke up the next morning exhausted. He blinked and groaned, his back crying out in pain. Slowly, he stretched and realized that he was no longer on the futon but on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. 

Not exactly how Patton wanted his first night to go, but he was determined to not let that bring him down! He slowly sat up, wincing as his back cracked, and looked up at the futon. Maybe he just rolled out of bed? There was a discount store a few blocks over, perhaps a few spare pillows would help him sleep better. Besides, he didn’t have anything for breakfast anyway. Time for an adventure!

Much more optimistic about everything, Patton got up and dug through his box of clothes to get dressed since he didn’t have a dresser yet. He looked out the window at the slightly windy and chilly air and threw on a light jacket as well. Maybe a coffee wouldn’t be too bad with his breakfast…

---

Patton?” Logan called out. “Patton, are you alright?” 

Patton blinked a few times quickly and looked over at his friend. “Yeah, why?”

“You seem to keep spacing out. Have you been sleeping properly?”

Patton let out a humm and shook his head. “Not really. I can’t seem to get comfy on the futon. Half the time I wake up on the floor! And I keep having weird dreams...”

“Has this been happening only since you moved into your new abode?”

Patton frowned and shook his head. “No. I mean, I was worried about moving so I was having troubles then too, but I’m sure it’ll pass eventually.”

“Perhaps you should look into other methods to help you sleep?”

Patton sighed and looked at Logan before smiling. “Sure, lay it on me, Lo.”

“Oh. Well, if you’re looking for something to lay on top of you, a weighted blanket may be helpful.”

Patton chuckled at his friend’s misunderstanding. “Sure, I’ll keep that in mind. What else do you suggest?”

---

Late Summer, 1987

“Woah, babe, you look awful.”

“Wow. Thanks, Remy. I feel so much better now.”

“Look, I’m just worried! You look like you didn’t sleep at all last night!”

“Ugh, yeah. It doesn’t feel like I did. I’ve been having this weird dream this week and last night I just couldn’t fall asleep at all. I felt like someone was staring at me.”

“Well, it wasn’t me! And no one else was in our apartment last night.”

“I know, I know…”

“What was your dream about?”

“I just was staring at my bed and not moving. And I kept trying to but it was like I was paralyzed and I start to panic. Then I wake up.”

“That’s… a bit weird.”

“Yeah, it’s really freaky when it’s happening but it sounds so stupid talking about it.”

“It’s not stupid if it’s bothering you that much. Come on, we can go to the library and check out one of those books on dreams and laugh at all the stupid stuff it says.”

“Yeah… sure, why not?”

---

Patton woke up on the floor, once more and groaned. Luckily, he had thought ahead and started placing cushions down where he kept waking up. He groaned and got up slowly, his feet protesting like he had been on them all night. 

“Roman was right. I need an actual bed…”

He reached up to his side table to turn on the lamp before he froze. The table was bare except for his phone that sat faced down. He looked up and around his barren apartment before he saw it, sitting underneath the window with the blinds closed.

“How did you manage to get over there?” He slowly walked over, his feet protesting the movement. He reached out and opened the blinds, not sure how they were closed in the first place. “A bit of light makes everything better! Now, come on, lamp. Back to your post.” Patton chuckled at his little joke as he picked up his lamp and put it back on his table.

He was getting ready for his day when his phone started to ring. Running over, he was careful to pick it up and leave the lamp where it was before answering. 

“Hello? Roman! Sure, I’d love to come over for dinner after work tonight!”

---

“Patton, we’re growing more concerned for you lately. You haven’t been sleeping properly in weeks!”

“I’m fine, really. Besides, I think I finally found a bed! It’s more than I want to pay but I honestly think I need it.”

Roman let out a sigh of relief and put down a bowl of dinner rolls on the table. “Good. I’ll help you pick it up and bring it to your place, just let me know when, okay?”

“You got it, Ro! I can’t wait to sleep in a bed again. I’m sure everything will go back to normal after.”

Logan furrowed his brows but kept quiet, still wary of what was to come.

---

Roman let out a groan as he awoke to the sound of a chime ringing out repeatedly. “Logaaaan. Answer your phone.” He nudged his roommate in the back who woke up abruptly with a gasp. “Logan!”

“I got it…” Reaching out, he swiped on his phone, the screen too blurry to read without his glasses. He let out a soft hiss at the bright screen before answering. “Hello…?”

“Oh, sorry to wake you Logan. Um… It’s Patton, by the way.”

“Patton, are you alright?” Logan rubbed his eyes before sitting up, reaching out for his glasses carefully in the dark. “It’s the middle of the night.”

“Yeah, right, sorry. Um, I didn’t really plan on calling or anything. You know I’d let you sleep unless it was an emergency. Oh gosh, is this an emergency? I’m so sorry, I should have just let you sleep I’ll just go and--”

“Patton. PATTON! Breathe. Nice and slow.” Logan put on his glasses and stared at the clock, trying not to panic with his friend. “Now, tell me what’s wrong?”

“Um… I’m not at home.”

“Then where are you?” Logan looked over at Roman who was staring up, confused as to what was going on. Hearing half of the conversation didn’t help calm his worry. 

“The, uh… You know the woods at the edge of town?”

“The--why are you in the woods?”

“I don’t know… I woke up here and I had my shoes on and I left my phone in my jacket and it’s almost dead but I’m freaking out and I don’t know what’s going on…”

“Roman and I can be there shortly to pick you up, okay? No need to panic.” Logan heard a gasp and a ruffled static noise coming from the other side. “Patton?”

“Please hurry… I don’t think I’m alone.”

Fall, 1987

“Remy, wake up!”

“Vee, do you have any idea what time it is?” The man grumbled into his pillow. “Let me sleep.”

“No, Rem, please wake up.” Virgil reached out and shook his friend frantically.

“Okay, geeze. What’s the emergency?” Remy looked up and blinked the sleep from his eyes, staring at his roommate. “Virgil, what’s wrong?” Remy immediately sat up, looking at his friend’s panicking eyes. “Hey, are you okay?”

“No, I’m really not.”

Virgil looked like he had been in full blown panic mode for a while. His hair was wild and he didn’t look like he slept in a week. Remy looked down and noticed he had his shoes on of all things. 

“Wait, where did you go?”

“The woods.”

“What for?”

Virgil looked up at his friend as a tear slipped down his face. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“I woke up there, Rem… and I wasn’t alone. I saw him again…”

---

“Unacceptable, you’re staying with us tonight.”

Patton sat huddled in the back seat of their car. Roman had brought a spare coat as the seasons changed and wrapped it around Patton’s shoulders. 

“Okay…”

Logan sighed and glanced in the rearview mirror. “We’ve been really worried about you, Patton, and you keep shrugging these things off.”

“Yeah,” Roman turned around and looked at their friend. “We know creepy stuff never really bothered you, padre but… this has got to be weird, even for you.”

“Yeah…”

Roman turned to Logan who tensed up but kept his eyes on the road. “What do you remember, Patton? About tonight.” Roman asked, turning back to him as he spoke.

Patton shrugged and held the coat closer, staring at the floor of the car. “I dunno. I went to bed like normal and woke up standing in the woods.”

Roman nodded and frowned a bit. “And… were you alone?”

Patton opened his mouth to answer and froze, growing still. Roman patiently waited until Patton looked up and their eyes met. 

Patton’s eyes were red from exhaustion and tears. His face still wet from the tracks that ran down them that he was too tired to wipe away. He sniffled and took a shallow, stuttering breath before he shook his head. “I saw someone.”

“And did you know them?”

“Um… No, not personally. But I think I’ve seen them before.”

“How about we go home and try to sleep?” Logan glanced in the mirror briefly again. “I’ll take the couch and Patton can share the bed with you, Roman.”

“Logan, no-”

“I’m not taking any arguments on this.” Logan cut him off. “You need to sleep in a real bed.”

“I have been sleeping in a real bed!”

Roman scoffed. “That hand me down is hardly even a bed, Pat. I would know, I helped you bring it into your apartment!”

“Right…” Patton leaned back into the cushions and sighed. “Fine. Just for tonight.”

“We can talk about this in the morning, okay?”

Sleep didn’t come easy to any of them that night. Patton called into work and his tired voice made him sound off enough that they wished him well. They charged his phone for him and let him lay in bed, scrolling through the internet absently while his best friends cooked him breakfast.

They ate in silence around the table, Patton poking at his food and taking small bites, eating more of it than he thought he would be able to.

“So,” Logan finally spoke up, breaking the silence. “About last night.”

Patton dropped his fork and sighed. “I think it’s best we go back to my apartment. There’s something on my laptop I want to show you guys.”

Roman looked over at Logan concerned before nodding. “Okay, let’s finish up and we can go.”

---

Patton turned the knob of his apartment door and tensed as it opened, his keys still in his hand. “Looks like I didn’t lock it…”

Logan and Roman shared a concerned glance as they all headed in. Roman reached for the light switch Patton seemed to have ignored and blinked at the state of the small apartment.

The lap was sitting tipped over underneath the window and all the blinds were closed. “A bit dark in here, huh Pat?”

Patton ignored them, reaching for his laptop and pulling it open. The futon was still pulled out and he turned to sit on it, waiting for it to boot up. 

“What is it you wanted to show us, Patton?”

“This.”

Patton clicked away a few times before turning his laptop around.

Man Goes Missing in Woods, Never Found

Logan approached and scanned the news article that Patton had pulled up on his laptop. “Virgil Stone, 24, was last seen entering the Ward Lake Woods on late Friday morning. Witness says he followed after him but lost his trail. A search party was started--Patton, this is where we found you but… why do you have this on your laptop?”

“Because,” Patton scrolled and pointed to the photo of the missing person. “That’s who I saw in the woods. Virgil Stone.”

“That’s impossible!” Roman cried out. “This article is from thirty years ago! There’s no way this is the same person!”

“I know what I saw! This is him, I’m sure of it! And isn’t it weird that I saw him in the same exact woods I ended up in?”

Logan frowned as he stared at the face of the young man that went missing years ago. He looked up at his best friend, watching as he braced himself for what they had to say next. “Fine, if this is who you think you saw, then I’ll believe you.”

“Wha-Logan? You believe this?” Roman said, shocked. 

“Well, Patton isn’t known to lie and if that’s who he thought he saw, then I’ll believe him. There’s enough weird stuff going on already, don’t you think?”

“Well, yeah. Sure, I’ll give you that.” Roman held a hand out, silently asking for the laptop. Patton handed it over and watched as Roman scrolled down, pausing at the bottom. “There’s a name and contact here in case anyone sees him.”

“Yeah, Virgil’s best friend Remy. He was the last one to have seen him.” Patton spoke. “I’ve read just about everything about this disappearance. What about him?”

“Well,” Roman motioned to the screen. “You saw him, didn’t you?”

---

Fall, 1987

The disappearance of Virgil Stone

“Remy, this didn’t work the last two times we tried. Why would it now?”

“Because I don’t have any other ideas!” Remy cried out, frustrated. “I don’t know what keeps happening other than you seem to sleepwalk right out the front door past me. So this time, I’m gonna sit right here!” Remy sat down, leaning against Virgil’s locked door. “And watch you to make sure nothing bad happens!”

Virgil let out a sigh and laid down on his bed, pulling the blankets over him. “Thanks for trying anyway, Rem. I really appreciate it.”

“I’m not giving up on you, Virgil. You’re my best friend, okay? We’ll figure this out.”

Virgil decided not to answer.

---

“Hello? Is this Remy Picani?”

“Yes?”

“I’ve come to talk to you about, um… Virgil Stone?”

Patton froze as the line grew quiet. Eventually, he heard a sigh from the other end. 

“If you’re doing some paper on it, I’m not up to talking…”

“No, nothing like that! Um, my name is Patton Morales and I think I may have seen him?” 

“If this is some kind of prank-”

“No!” Patton cried out. “No, it’s not! I’ve been having these weird dreams and I guess I’ve also been sleepwalking? But I woke up in the woods the other day and he was right there, I swear! Oh, goodness, this sounds crazy now that I’ve said it out loud…”

“Sleepwalking?” Remy whispered. “You were sleepwalking and ended up in those woods.”

“Um, yeah. I know it sounds weird, but trust me! I know what I saw!”

“Tell me, Patton. Has this happened before? Weird dreams, sleep paralysis, exhaustion after you’ve woken up? Lighting fixtures moving around or breaking?”

Patton felt a cold sensation growing in his chest. Pure panic as everything the older man described was repeated back to him. “Um. Yes, actually.”

“You need to leave that city immediately.”

“E-excuse me?”

“This goes farther back than you can imagine. Virgil went through all the same stuff. He even saw someone else too.” Patton froze at the news. “His name was Thomas Sanders. He went missing back in the 50’s. No one ever found him. He just vanished from his home one day. Then, Virgil tells me he was searching the library and found an old news article. Turns out, this Thomas guy was who he had seen in the woods. I begged him to just drop it, but it wasn’t enough. Whatever he found had decided he was their next target.”

Fall, 1987

“Virgil!” Remy shouted, cursing himself for falling asleep. He didn’t expect his roommate to go out of the window on the second story, but it was too late for that. Somehow, he made it down relatively safe. Besides the slight limp he had at first, he seemed okay.

But now Remy had to run after him into the woods, desperately trying to catch up.

“VIRGIL!” He was so close, too. While Virgil seemed to be in a hurry, he was merely speed walking. Remy had woken up to an open window and empty bed, but just in time to catch his friend.

He reached out, grabbing his wrist and spinning him around. “Virgil, let’s go back, okay?” Remy couldn’t hide his own panic anymore.

Virgil stared at him, his eyes blank as he shook his head. “I made a promise…”

“V-virgil?”

“I have to keep it. I made a deal. I have to go.”

“A deal? What kind of deal? When?!” Virgil ripped his hand out of his friend’s grip and turned, sprinting off into the woods. “Virgil?! WAIT, COME BACK!”

“I spent hours looking for him after that. I called the cops and explained he went missing. They searched those woods for days. No one ever saw him again.”

“Oh my…”

“You need to leave that town immediately before the same thing happens to you, got it?” “Remy dear, who are you on the phone with?”

“No one, Em, I’ll be right there! …. Good luck, Patton. I really hope you make it out of this okay.”

---

Patton sat down and talked to Logan and Roman about what he had learned. While still a bit skeptical, their worry and concern outweighed everything else.

“Luckily, you’re on a month to month basis with your rent since you never signed a lease. We can have you moved out by the end of the month.”

Patton nodded as Roman gathered his things. He had only been on his own for a few months and now he was back to square one. “Okay.”

“I can help sell your stuff while we try and search for a job for you a few towns over. Hopefully that’s far enough that whatever is going on will pass.”

“Sure.”

Roman stopped and approached Patton carefully. “I’m sorry about all this, Pat, but we just care about you. This is some strange stuff going on.”

“I know.” 

Roman stared at his friend, his bags under his eyes were deep and his eyes were glassy and tired. “We’ll treat you to dinner tonight and you can stay with us. Then, tomorrow, we’ll start getting you away from this place.”

Patton looked up and smiled. “Thanks, Roman. I don’t know what I’d do without you guys.”

Roman smiled back and went back to packing things up. As soon as his back was turned, Patton’s smile fell. 

“Patton, there is one thing I am still curious about.” Patton turned to Logan as he spoke. “You had all those articles because you had seen Virgil before. If the forest wasn’t the first time… when was it?”

“My name is Patton! What’s yours?”

“.... It used to be Virgil.”

“Well, what is it now?”

“I… don’t know.”

“Well, how come you came outta nowhere?”

“... I came from the shadows.”

“Wow! That’s so cool! Can you teach me to do that?!”

The man smiled and held out his hand. “Do you promise to come with me one day?”

“To play? I have to ask my mom first! But then can you teach me the shadow trick?”

“Of course.”

“Then I promise!”

“Patton?! Sweetie, where are you?”

“Sorry, I gotta go! Bye!!”

“Come to mommy honey!!”

“Mommy!”

“Oh, Patton, don’t run off like that, you scared me!”

“Sorry, mommy. I made a friend! He was super nice and said we can play later!”

Patton blinked and shook his head. “A long time ago… and in some of my dreams, I think.”

“Well, that doesn’t matter. We’ll get you sorted out of here in no time.”

Patton turned to the corner near the window and watched the curtains move with a breeze. He blinked and wondered if there was a draft, since all the windows were closed. It was too cold to have any of them open. 

The curtain slowly drifted, pulling itself closed a bit before it stopped.

Patton smirked. Definitely not a draft.

“I think we should go.” The two turned to Patton who was still staring out the window. “It’s been a long day, you know? I just want to hang out with you two for today and try and forget about all of this.”

“Of course.” Roman put a few things down in a box and dusted his hands. “Let’s go have some fun.”

Patton held open the door and let both his friends leave before turning back into the apartment. He flicked the lights off and stared as it grew dark, suddenly seeing the shadows in his apartment shift around. With a nod, he closed the door and locked it before taking his key and placing it under the doormat before turning around and catching up to his friends.

---

“Good night, Roman. Good night, Logan.” Patton curled up on the couch and smiled at them. “You guys are the best, you know that?”

“Anything for you, Pat.” Logan nodded, agreeing with Roman’s statement. “Just wake us if you need anything.”

“Sleep well, Patton. We’ll see you in the morning.”

Patton waited in the dark for a while, staring at the ceiling of the living room. He heard his friends walking about until they finally settled in themselves. He sighed and sat up, getting to his feet quietly. He made his way to the front door and gathered his shoes before quietly opening the door, sneaking out into the night.

Once outside, Patton slipped on his sneakers and made his way down the street. His hands started shaking and his heart was pounding in his chest as he walked, Remy’s words still ringing in his head. 

A promise.

Patton barely made it to the park where the woods stretched before he saw him. A dark figure made purely of shadow standing at the edge of the woods. Patton froze and stared, blinking a few times to make sure it was actually there before he started walking closer. 

“Patton.”

“Virgil, right?”

The figure slowly started to look like the missing man as Patton approached. “His name was Virgil once, yes.”

“S-so… W-what are you?”

The figure didn’t answer.

“I… I don’t want to do this.”

“But you promised. It’s your turn. You made the deal.”

“Virgil” held out his hand and stood there, waiting. Patton stared at it, trembling in fear of what he was doing. “If… If I ran away…”

“It wouldn’t have mattered.”

Nodding, Patton slowly reached out and took the hand, gasping at how frozen it felt.

“Thank you, Patton.”

Virgil smiled and closed his eyes, the darkness taking his form as he slowly began to disappear. Soon enough, Patton stood at the edge of the field alone. His hand still stretched out as if holding another and his eyes wide in surprise. Then, it fell and he blinked before slowly walking into the woods.

Patton knew that it was his turn, and the next person to see him wouldn’t be for a long while.

----------

Happy Halloween!

This was the old In The Shadows taglist. Sorry if you’re no longer interested <3

@ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @up-at-3-am-reading-fanfic @the-gayest-one-of-them-all @randomfanderfriend @queer-human-being @fantazyiskey @rememberfateau-nowoffical @vulnerablevirgil @justanotherpurplebutterfly @conversationswithamilennial @ravenclawicecream @bubblycricket @curlycutiekinz @noahlovescoffee @bunny222

General:

@helloisthisusernametaken @entitydark @lightningbug04 @moonstone-fox @another-sandersidesblog @thesynysterunknown @singingjo @unikornavenger @rememberfateau-nowoffical @sanders-sides-trasshcan @sleepyssnail @jemthebookworm @spectralheartt @fandomsofrandom @johnlaurensadmirer-johnsenpaiowo @rosie601 @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @izzyfandoms @zaidiashipper @enbyamy @romanmustberomantic @daylnvale @that-one-sunfish-with-a-wig-on @squiddney69 @decayingfoxx @watchoutforthefanfics

[aph-honk-kong]

Draw A Circle That’s The Earth, I’m In Hetalia - Review (Chapter 2)

Eight months ago, @hetafic-hell published a review of chapter one of “Draw A Circle That’s The Earth, I’m In Hetalia!”. I decided to write a review of the second chapter, since they’ve been on hiatus for so long. But before I begin, I must offer a warning: this chapter is five thousand five hundred words long, and is not divided into any paragraphs. It’s also awful. Proceed at your own risk.

3 months later.

It is not possible to show the passing of time through the story instead of putting it down explicitly?

I'm at a different meeting hall my nation had all its citizen's return to Serenia only recently and now every one of my people except my army have been turned into pictonians 

What army? I thought the only reason Serenia was bombed in chapter one was because it didn’t have one. 

Australia brought me in a helicopter and now me America, England, Italy, Germany, China, Japan, Russia, France, not that anyone noticed except me Canada 

And there’s the “nobody notices Canada” trope.

and thanks to my knowledge of the 'paint it white' Hetalia movie Scotland and Australia are now in meeting about the pictonians I gave Canada a note saying 'go to Cuba, combine forces temporarily and take care of the injured 'he ran out of the room without anyone noticing.

You’d think that someone being told to leave an important meeting to leave the country, meet with someone who hasn’t been mentioned up until now and form an alliance to save their nation’s people would at least announce their departure.

"Dudes, this is an emergency! As the paper thingys in front of you with those crazy drawings that are supposed to be word says, the race of humanity has been taken over by nopras thingsmabobs by that crazy beam of light that comes out of the light bulby thingy that comes out of their head."

...what?

Alfred said while everyone was doing their own thing Francis blowing a kiss to the maid, Yao yawning, Arthur, Kiku, Ivan and Ludwig listening, Allistor smoking, jack playing with his koala, bub and Feli drawing faces on the pictonians pictures. "Nice one, Feli" I giggled "thank you, Kaitlyn! How are-a the puppies and-a cubbies?" he asked "they're fine they grew 60 cm!" 

What an intriguing conversation. Why is this happening again?

then I turn my attention to the meeting and open the folder "Tony my righteous alien friend dude told me they are pictonians from the planet Picto. Like for real dudes. Picto is in like way far out in space." He continued "your brains in way far outer space" Arthur exclaimed "hello! Listen up! We can't let these nopras dudes make earth all freaky and boringly white! This is whack! We gotta stop these dudes! Also what's a nopras?" Alfred asked after a good little speech "it's a Japanese monster without eyes, nose or a mouth; its proper name is inotraple." I spoke up everyone looks at me then Arthur says "wait a tick does that mean this is all your fault japan?"

Why would any of the nations believe Serenia? Even if she explained that she figured it out from the “Paint It White” movie, she’d have to tell them how she came across the movie, either proving that she’s not from this universe or making the nations think she’s gone insane.

"Hey I only said what I learnt from japans old stories and he hasn't said a single word so it's not his fault." I defended while standing up "why the hell do I have to be turned into nopra, because of stupid japan and his scary story" Yao snapped I sighed and sat down and looked at the pictonians pictures I giggled and whispered something to Feli then we both giggled 

So she went from defending to sighing to giggling in a span of what, a minute? If Kaitlyn is so protective of Japan, why doesn’t she defend him when China speaks up? Why does she just sit down and start having another inane exchange with Italy?

"what is so funny, kaitren-chan?" 

Please no, not the Wapanese.

Kiku asked I smiled and said "is it just me or do these guys look like telitubies? Come on I can't be the only one thinking this" "Hahaha! Good one Kaitlyn!" 

This chapter is supposed to take place three months after the former one, and the last chapter ended in the middle of WWII. There is no way any of the nations would know about Teletubbies, which is a show that launched in 1997.

Alfred laughed then said "anyway, focus countries! Japan may have screwed things up but we still have time to fix it! Your ideas will all suck, so listen to me! We will combine all of our military strengths! I'll be in command so you'll have to wear the colour of my flag! All heroes wear red white and blue! And Kaitlyn?" I look up at him "yeah?" "I'll make sure you're safe by you and me sticking together! I'll be your hero!" he said as he winked at me I blushed furiously

The awful dialogue aside, I thought Kaitlyn was shipping herself with Holy Rome last chapter, to the point where she kept him from dying. Does she have a new fictional husband now?

"wait who in god's name put you in charge and why the bloody hell should Kaitlyn go with you?" Arthur yelled "duh, because I'm the hero everybody knows that and Kaitlyn needs a hero" Alfred replied "ohnohnohnohn! But I think Kaitlyn should come with me and not you" Francis said in all his creepiness 

France literally hasn’t done anything creepy, he just suggested Kaitlyn stick with him! Oh wait, I forgot the writer just wants to shoehorn in every trope imaginable into this fic for no reason at all.

"you keep your filthy perverted hands of Kaitlyn, cheesy monkey!" 

He wasn’t being perverted at all! #ProtectFrance2020

Arthur yelled "shut up, black sheep of Europe" "I told you not to call me that" then Arthur and Francis started fighting, Feli tried to hand out his white flags, Yao was arguing with Alfred about which country made the most popular movies, Ivan was releasing a purple aura, Ludwig was trying to stay calm and me I stood up and sat with my pups and cubs petting them as they slept

You’re telling me these baby animals are casually sleeping through a group of adults having multiple loud arguments?

'what am I going to do? Everything's just so crazy. Everyone is a lot more extreme than I thought, they act the same and yet they act different. 

How on earth does one “act the same yet act different”?

When I was in my world, everything seemed so easy. [Sigh] I guess not' "kaitren-chan." 

Spare me.

A voice brought me back noticing Kiku was in front of me "what's wrong, Kiku-san?" "I wanted to thank you for defending me earrier, arrigato" 

There’s no reason why Japan would thank Kaitlyn in Japanese when the rest of his sentence is in English, and that’s not even how you spell it.

he bowed I smiled then boom! I jump and my pups and cubs start barking and roaring 

I can guarantee you that baby tigers cannot roar.

I calm them down by speaking Serenian. I wait for Germany to stop yelling before heading to the doors "Kaitlyn? Vhere are you going?" Ludwig asked "I'm going to protect my country. I suggest you all do the same." Then I walked out of the room. 2 hours later. 

Where are they? Assuming they’re not in Serenia, it would take Kaitlyn quite a while to get home, especially since they’re in a time of war. She definitely wouldn’t be able to reach Serenia in two hours.

I'm standing with my army of 1,000 women and men armed with guns and arrows, 

How are they going to shoot the arrows without bows? 

I'm wearing a long flowing white skirt with a long slit that reaches 10cm from the waist, my black cloak, 

A flowing skirt and a cloak are not at all practical for war, especially not a skirt with a slit. She’s going to get strangled with her cloak or trip over herself, mark my words.

a gold staff with a gold crescent at the top the staff was an inch above my head my height is 1, 80, 

A few things to address here. First, isn’t Kaitlyn fifteen? How can a fifteen-year-old be that tall? Second, there’s no way that staff would do any damage, especially in a twentieth-century war when so much technology was developed. Gold is expensive as hell, too, so how could she make an entire staff from it?

I had a black camisole on and had gold two gold bracelets on my left ankle, one each on my wrists, a necklace with a silver water lily pendent and a gold necklace that fit on my head so that the crescent moon pendent was positioned on the centre of my forehead and I wore no shoes just bare feet. 

No way someone can run or fight properly while wearing heavy gold bracelets, a silver pendant, a gold headdress and no shoes. You’re fighting in a war, for goodness’ sake, your feet are going to be severely hurt if you don’t wear anything on them.

"When the enemy comes show no fear and if the enemy shoots dodge then strike!" I commanded my cubs and pups were beside me growling. 

You took your defenceless baby pets, the only Serenian native animals left, to a battlefield?

The earth started to shake a little "get ready!" I yelled the pictonians ships were in sight "FIRE!" I yelled my army fire their guns and arrows but they just turn all wiggly and white "crap!" I curse then the pictonians shoot the flower blossom beam me, my pups and cubs run and dodge the beam

Without being trampled to death by the rest of the fleeing soldiers, and fast enough to dodge the beam despite being, again, babies? Fat chance.

my army wasn't so lucky they got hit with the beam, then they started to stalk towards us "Kilala! Sesa! Nomura! Herona! Zecremea nomraxia qoxirizakri merase"(Translation: come we must run, my children!)" 

Please, no more nonsensical Serenian.

We start running and an explosion happened bits of the arrows and metal from the guns flew at my cubs and pups I block them and got cut every were it hurt so much, then I hear something "Kaitlyn! Dude come on!" I look and see Alfred on a helicopter when I reach the helicopter 

Shouldn’t he be back in America, defending his own people?

I look back and call out to my pups and cubs "come on almost there!" then disaster. Another flower beam was shot and it hit them, my pups and cubs, my babies 

THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE BROUGHT THEM ALONG!

"no! No!" I try and run to them but, Alfred pulled me into the helicopter and restrained me the helicopter took off when I stopped struggling Alfred let me go. I cried, I let everything go. I dropped to my knees and cried Alfred sat on his knees and embraced me I cried into his jacket "Katie, everything's going to be okay. We'll get them back I don't know how but we will, I promise." 

Oh wow, this is so touching.

He said 'that doesn't really sound like him this must really be bad' I stopped crying and hugged Alfred "al, thanks for saving me I assume they got you?" ' assume I know they got him' "yeah, my missiles did nothing then they turned the statue of liberty all white and wiggly" "they did that as well to the valley of blue roses" (for all those who don't know in Serenia their national land mark is a valley of blue roses since blue roses are unnatural and were originally white it is said that on the night of a blue moon the glow of the full moon turned them blue.) 

Couldn’t the story behind the rose valley be included in the story instead of being dumped to us between brackets? 

"We're heading to a temporary headquarters, okay?" I nodded I started humming 'safe and sound by Taylor swift' then Alfred asked "hey Katie what song is that?" 'Crap! I forgot Taylor swift hasn't even been born yet and... Wait a minute the songs I know are from the year 2013 and it's what like 1980, I'll keep it to myself.' "It's called safe and sound a little thing I made up to keep me sane when Switzerland attacked" 

Finally, a rational decision. Also, if this chapter took place three months after the last, wouldn’t it be, like 1945 at most? How did the author forget something they wrote themself?

"Kaitlyn, when the war hit were you afraid that your country would be destroyed and you would ya know die?" "No, I feared for my countries people and animal life besides no one would really miss me." "That's not true! Iggy would miss you, Italy would miss you, jack and Allistor would miss you and I would defiantly miss you we all care about you Kaitlyn no matter what!" "Alfred." I smiled and hugged Alfred even tighter "Kaitlyn, I'm glad you're my best friend ""I'm glade too"

You’re what now?

then I fell asleep. 20 minutes later. We had almost reached the temporary hide out Alfred had to carry me on his back because I couldn't walk anymore I was partially covered in cuts and bruises and my head hurt badly. 

Didn’t you just say you were cut “every were?”

"Al, remind me to kick the pictonians ass later please." "No prob" when we were close enough we could see everyone was there. Feli lifted his head and saw Alfred and smiled but, then he saw me he squealed and ran to Alfred and I. "Kaitlyn! What-a happened!?" he asked frantically "Feli, calm down I'm fine." I reassure him then I was lifted off of Alfred's back and carried to the temporary 

The temporary what?

I look up to see Germany "thanks." I said he smiled and place me on crate then china tended to my wounds. 

Is the medical centre just a crate? If not, what on earth is the author trying to describe here?

"Thanks china I owe you one" I said "no problem Kaitlyn!" he replied I noticed Feli walking around looking for something. "Hey Feli what are you looking for?" he turned to me and smiled "I-a think the puppies and cubbies are playing hide and-a seek with me so I'm-a trying to find them." I looked down and said "they're not playing hide and seek Feli." "Oh, then where are-a they?" I started to tear up I look at him as I raise my head and say "ask the pictonians" he paled

“Kaitlyn, you fucking idiot, why did you bring them along with you to fight?”

"becoming a pictonian appears to be our fate" I say "I refuse to become as ugly as the rest of you" France says "look on the bright side at least you won't smell like drunk cheese" England commented "chill out, we're not gonna let this get us down. Dudes, we're gonna stand together whether we like it or not. I don't!" Alfred said then Russia said "I agree, I don't like it!" then china said "that's right we should work together even if we hate it. I hate it!" "I hate it more" Arthur added "Qui j'detetes" France sighed "no rikey, but we should listen to each other's ideas" japan stated 

The next person to use “no rikey” unironically will be executed at dawn.

"right, all zhose in favour for us to vork togezher raise your hand now" Germany said everyone but me and Feli raised their then Italy looked around and raised his hand and said "pasta~" I raise my hand and Alfred said sounding confident "check this out a douse of originality we get a super hero with a deflector shield to beat the crap out of those guys" 

Haha comedy, am I right?

then Italy said "I think japan should do it I-a mean he's-a got eave**** and let's not forget about gun**" but those are just anime" japan said 

Both Evangelion or Gundam were developed in the late twentieth century, decades after this story takes place. Plus, Italy isn’t so stupid as to believe that the mechas from those show exist in real life, is he?

"if you are looking for anime I can totally do that" china interrupted then a blurred picture appeared "you know I think I heard about that somewhere but better" Arthur says "yeah" everyone agrees "it original chines idea!" china fumed "excuse me" Germany said to grab our attention "maybe ve should oh I don't know zhink of ideas zhat are realistic" he said looking ready to blow 

Thank you, Germany. 

"I was thinking the exact same thing my idea is perfectly realistic" Arthur said looking confident "alright what do you have in mind, Arthur" I ask then he shows us a dark magic circle 

How the hell did he make that so quickly?

"yeah we need something realistic" everyone said "you wankers don't ignore me!" Arthur yelled "my turn, how about we find their leader and hold them for ransom" I suggest "still need a realistic idea" they said then we hear a sound "Fucking" over and over we look at a screen to see a little grey alien "ah, what a charming alien" France said sarcastically "he's no alien! Tony is my best friend!" Alfred said sounding offended "that doesn't mean he's not a bloody alien!" Arthur said but, was ignored by Alfred "Tony what's the scoop bra?" "fu-"he tried to say but I interrupted saying "hey Tony? Think you could I don't know not pull any crap on us. Remember how you owe me from 30 years ago. I need you to show us the pictonians website and put on the translator software, please?" 

What does Tony owe Kaitlyn and why was this never mentioned?? Also, the internet didn’t exist in WWII, what is going on -

he nodded and put up a website and then the translator thing made all the alien language translate in to English. Then a video played explaining the pictonians intentions. "It appears our planet is doomed." " ?" "What did he say now?" japan asked and Alfred replied "the more evolved the species the more their faces look nopra like" "oh, I have collection of evolving I'd like to show them" Russia said as he released a purple aura 

The fuck does this mean?

"Vhere are zhey veak? Zhey must have a veakness' Germany said "they do" Tony replied then everyone but me flipped out "why haven't you been speaking English this whole time!?" France asked while freaking out "because I don't do dubs" Tony replied as he searched for something on his iPhone "okay their weaknesses are…" 

WHY DOES HE HAVE AN IPHONE IN WWI!?

he continued. Then I had a dizzy spell. I felt pulse "sunflower, you're alright, da?" Russia asked

Haha he used “da” haha so very Russia of him.

"I-I'm fine, Russia" I replied holding my head "call me Ivan" he said then Alfred yelled "TONY!" that set me off I collapsed to the floor a bright white light covered my vision, as I fell I heard someone call out "Kaitlyn!". Then, I heard the giddy British voice again "well poppet, looks like you've been telling people you get visions, huh? Well, we don't want you to be a liar now do we? So every time a something big is going to happen, you will suffer a dizzy spell and have a vision. Well I better be off ta-ta poppet" then it all went black. 

Oh, it’s the magic fellow from the first chapter. Will it ever be explained who they are or why they’re doing this to Kaitlyn? My money’s on “no”.

Suddenly, I saw everyone being turned into pictonians Alfred, Arthur, Francis, Ivan, Yao, jack, Allistor, Ludwig and Kiku then I turn and see Feli get turned into a pictonian 'no' 

Why is Italy’s transformation the last straw?

I ran at the pictonians tears blurring my vision. I felt myself lift off the ground then gone I lost the vision. "Kaitlyn! Kaitlyn wake up!" I heard I slowly open my eyes to see Alfred above me with worry in his eyes and me I was on the floor with everyone surrounding me "I'm fine I just had a vision" I said as I hopped up everyone look at me and didn't looked convinced "trust me guys I'm fine this happens only at certain times." I said then a green light flashed we ran to the light and stopped when we saw a huge pictonian ship. As it was landing a powerful wind blew everywhere it almost knocked down everyone but, it blew me backwards until someone caught me I look and see Allistor holding me by my waist "wouldn't want ye ta blow away now would we?" he said smiling "thank you, Allistor" I said holding onto him. 

And there goes another character into Kaitlyn’s harem.

When the wind stopped we all saw the ship in font "I think this is the mother ship" japan said "Hahaha those stupid aliens are so predictable" Alfred mocked "Allistor you can let go now." I said as I barely held my blush he blushed furiously and let me go "look!" Germany said as we see the pictonians marching onto the mother ship not noticing us "I think that's where they keep the humans that haven't been turned into pictonians probably human enslavement" I said "unacceptable ve must act now!" Germany yell as he marched towards the ship then japan stopped him "Germany I'm sorry I touched you but we must act reasonabry." "Must kill!" he replies 

Why is Germany suddenly talking like a caveman? Goodness, if I had a dollar for every question I asked while reading this mess of a fic I’d be the richest person alive.

"hey, dudes!" Alfred said to get everyone's attention "I have an idea how about we infiltrate the ship and find their weakness!" he suggested "yes, I like the way you are thinking" china said enthusiastically "you can leave the spying to me" Arthur said confidently "and leave the animal rescuein ta me" jack said "nothing ventured nothing gained is what they arways say" japan said "exactly 'ow are zhey?" France asked "I know a way we can get inside!" we all looked and see Feli in a pictonian costume "tada!" "VHAT ZA HELL!? VHAT IS ZAT!?" Germany asked/yelled

You could just use “yelled”.

"it's my-a pictonian costume I made-a it with all the white flag material I have! Woohoo! I made-a one for everybody!" he laughed pointing to a box with pictonian costumes. Everyone just stared at it for a while. Then I walked to the box and grabbed one my size I put it on over my clothes.

One your size? You’re telling me Italy managed to make a number of fake-outfits with multiple sizes while the rest of the nations were running out to see the ship?

When I was done everyone was wearing theirs then they all ran to the ship yelling their battle cries "ATTACK!" "Hahaha! Hail the conquering hero" "double O ninja!" "I'm ready" "what a relief I still look fabulous!" "Hold on tight panda!" "I reap into battre!" "Aussie!" "Whiskey power!" only me and Feli didn't move "we'll wait for you guys here!" he cheered as he waved his white flag "Italy! Serenia! You both are coming vith us!" Germany yelled as he stood in front of Feli!" "But, running onto-a the aliens ship seams reckless-a to me. Besides I don't want to get my costume dirty. What do you think bella?" then he looked at me "Feli, I'm scared." I said as I looked up at him with tears in my eyes 'it's true I am scared, I'm scared that I screwed everything up and what if everyone gets turned into a pictonian' then I felt a hand on mine I look to see Feli with his eyes open looking at me "let's-a go Kaitlyn. We'll-a do this together!" he beamed I smiled and ran with Feli who yelled his battle cry "PASTA~!" in turn I yelled mine "the angel has arrived!" 

Why would Kaitlyn be described as an angel? She’s done nothing remotely angelic in the story so far.

20 minutes later. We're all on the ship we hide behind a corner "ok, here's the plan Russia back me up, japan you back me up too and Iggy..." Alfred said when we were all in a circle with Germany holding eleven sticks "pick one each vhatever colour you get is zhe group you're in." he said "don't ignore me!" Alfred whined every one picked a stick France went with Arthur, Alfred went with Ivan and china, Germany went with japan and Feli. Me I went with Allistor and jack. We're walking down a hall way. 

Nice tense change there.

'I'm not scared' "ya know we need 'a find the captured humans, righ'?" "No, I thought we're er ta play golf, we're not stupid lad we know what we're ta do." The continued arguing then I heard a noise and saw round the corner pictonians "shh!" I pulled them into a room but part of my pictonian costume ripped at my lower half reviling my lower half and the warrior skirt. "Great just great" I said sarcastically "Kaitlyn? Love is that you?" I turn around and see Arthur and France standing in front of a blue ball "what happened?" Arthur asked "these two dumbbells attracted unwanted attention so I acted fast and pulled us into the nearest room" I said a little peeved. 

“Dumbbells” is a weak-ass insult.

Arthur scolded them while me and France looked at the globe I touched my country like Arthur was supposed to do with his country. Then a little page popped at the side of it but it was in the alien's language "damn, hey Arthur little help?" I ask he stops and chucks me his phone 

Again with the cell phones! Isn’t it supposed to be the mid-twentieth century?

I look through it and put up the alien translator app then the screen scanned the page and processed the data then it binged and it all translated into English I read it aloud once the guys stopped fighting "Serenia, a peaceful country with both beautiful fauna and flora and also a former pirate now a polite lady. Serenia is a former pacifist but, during world war two and seeing some of her people and most of the fauna life massacred she became a fighter. She often gets stuck in the middle of love, because all the male countries are in love with her and she can't decide" 

Woah. I couldn’t have come up with a more Mary Sue-ish description if I tried.

I blushed furiously and silently handed Arthur back his phone "love? Are you alright?" he said with a red face "p-p-please j-just go c-check your country" 

I can tick “badly-written stuttering” off my bad fanfic bingo now.

I stuttered not being able to keep my cool. Arthur looked at his country and started fighting with France I ran up to them and tried to break them up "guys! You have to stop" then France accidently back handed me I hit the floor but no one helps me up. Allistor and jack tried separating Arthur and Francis then the door opened and the pictonians appeared "what do we do now?" Francis asked 

I don’t know, maybe run instead of twiddling your thumbs?

"don't worry I'm sure there is a trap door here somewhere" Arthur said then a rope appeared next to him "see what did I tell you" he pulled the rope and the four of them fell through the trap door leaving me on the floor the pictonians looked at me 'I'm screwed' they didn't move "huh?" I looked down and saw that I look like someone turning into a pictonian. ' alright, let's play pictonian' so I found my other half of my costume and slowly pulled it on and pretended it hurt then to seal the deal I was next to the trap door and screamed at the top of my lungs "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" then I slowly stood up slouching like them then they left. 

I understood like ten words out of this section. 

I shed the pictonian costume and fluffed out my black cloak and skirt I checked to see if my necklace on my head was still there and if my foldable gold staff was in the side of my skirt, luckily they were but unluckily, the staff put a little cut in my side making blood drops appear. 

And this, kids, is why you don’t fight with fucking staffs. Also, how on earth is a tall, heavy staff made out of gold able to fold in on itself?

I ran out of the room and followed the pictonians without them noticing me. Then I see everyone in a corner. Found the alarm system, pulled and jumped in the vent the pictonians turned their attention to the alarm I slowly crawled in the air vent but, then I made a wrong move and fell. I waited for the impact but it never came I opened my eyes to see that china caught me "china, thank you!" I said as I hugged him "it is alright and please call me Yao" he smiled as he blushed lightly then set me on the ground 

Dammit, there goes another one.

"Kaitlyn, you're alright" Feli cried as he hugged me. Then a green light grew bright we all looked to see the pictonians about to turn us into one of them. "We. Are. Screwed." I stated "wait, ret me try something" Kiku said "go ahead, Kiku-san" I said. "Pictonians we have come to show you our hospitarity." He said "WHAT!?" everyone but me yelled I ran next to Kiku and backed him up saying "Kiku is right we should show them what earth has to offer. If we show them how fun and fantastic earth is maybe they won't invade earth, change everything back to normal and leave."

Nice idea, but they’ve kind of already invaded earth. You’re too late, honey.

Then Yao said "leave it to me!" then a china town appeared and all the pictonians were sitting at tables with food in front of them "please eat as much as you want" Yao offered "don't-a mind if I-a do!" Feli said with a plate of food in his hand "zhat is not for you!" Germany yelled "but why does-a Kaitlyn get-a to eat?" he complained "because it's just a mango and I haven't eaten since yesterday" I said the pictonians started to eat 

What does China serving mangoes have to do with why she gets to eat?

"so you like it am I right?" Yao asked confidently "we don't know" they answered Yao "I'm so glad you like it. Wait you don't know?" he asked "we don't know" they replied then France tried to get them to eat his countries cuisine but got the same reply "I would like to be going now don't be letting me down" Ivan said to the Baltics "yes sir" they replied then done a ballet to swan lake in female ballerina outfits' 

Poor Baltics. What did they do to deserve being put in this fic?

that's just cruel' then they spun off stage "we don't know" the pictonians said I thought of what hospitality I could provide 'belly dancing and flowers' I played belly dancing music and hopped on the stage and danced. Every time I could I threw a bunch of flowers to the pictonians. 

Where did she get - I’m not going to question things any more.

I heard my friends shouting out "go, sheila!" "Shake it, Kaitlyn" "go, bella!" when I finished I posed with my hands above my head and one leg at the front the pictonians gave me an unexpected answer "it was good" I jumped off the stage and Alfred picked me up and spun me in the air "dude that was awesome where did you learn to do that?" he asked as he set me on the ground "I went to India a little while back and learned belly dancing" I replied then Germany tried to give a pictonian some beer but struggled a bit "dude, let me help you out" Alfred said then a casino popped out of nowhere. All the pictonians were at slot machines and one hit the jackpot, another got kissed by two girls in bunny costumes. "Men" I said as I walked away from Alfred. 

Haha guise get it? She’s totally a strong independent woman who laughs when men are being stupid even though she has ten of them chasing after her!

I noticed Feli with the pictonians having fun then everything went wrong. The pictonians had eaten one of Arthur's scones and turned blue in the face. "Come on, what-a happened? Let's-a eat another scone" Feli said happily and the pictonians replied "no way" "guys I think this is our cue to leave" jack said and with that we ran. "Well, what now genius?" I ask then Alfred stops at a door and presses a button then the door opens to show us a long drop out of the ship into the ocean "Geronimo!" Alfred yells as he jumps then everyone but me and Feli are left "Feli come on it's better than being turned into a pictonian" I say then we jump. During the fall Feli had his eyes closed, me mine were open and it's a good thing too, because up ahead was a huge pointy rock. We were falling fast so I pushed Feli out of the way and he missed the rock by an inch. I, on the other hand got the full blow of the rock it my stomach leaving a huge gash then my back. 

Wouldn’t she also break some bones and presumably die on impact? Falling from a high place onto a sharp rock would definitely leave more than two gashes.

I fell in the ocean hard and hit my head on a rock I slowly lost consciousness as I rose to the surface. 20 minutes later. I woke up on a sandy surface and I immediately started coughing up water and feeling the sting of salt water in my wounds. "Hello? Is someone there?" I heard a familiar British voice call "Arthur?" I call out but no reply I stand up and limp to where the sound came from. I keep walking until I hear crying I stumble to the noise and soon am hiding behind a tree looking at a camp fire with everyone around it. "b-but, where-a I-I-is Kaitlyn? Feli cried "we need to find her now I-I just couldn't bear to think what I would do without her" Alfred admitted everyone nodded their heads in agreement "it's so nice to see how much you guys care for me" I said as I came out from behind the tree with my cloak covering my body. They all lifted their heads and Feli tackled me to the ground "bella, I-"but before he could finish his sentence I howled out in pain "aaahhhh!" 

You should’ve collapsed a long time ago.

Feli got up and looked at his hands and his eyes opened and widened showing terror "b-bella, w-w-why are-a you bleeding?" he shakily asked I stood up to see everyone staring at me with pale faces "I had a little accident." I said they still didn't look convinced. I felt a pulsing pain in my stomach as I fell to my knees 

Yeah, there it is.

"Kaitlyn!" they all ran to me I undid the lock on me cloak "Kaitlyn what's wrong!?" Alfred asked as he looked like he was about to cry. I removed my cloak and reviling my injuries everyone gasped in horror. "Well are you going t-"I lost consciousness in the middle of my sentence. In my dream world.

It’s magic teleportation man, isn’t it.

"Hello?" I call no answer "hello, poppet." I turn around to see a man with strawberry blond hair and bushie eye brows he had neon blue eyes, he wore a pink vest over a white dress shirt and army green slacks and a purple bow tie. Then it hit me I know who he is "O-Oliver Kirkland!?" 

YOU’VE GOT TO BE FUCKING -

I ask he clapped his hands while jumping up and down "oh, you figured it out poppet well done! But please call me Ollie" he giggled 'only because I read fan fiction' 

How does Kaitlyn reading fanfiction relate to her being allowed to call Oliver “Ollie”? So many sentences in this fic are just strung together with no relation whatsoever.

"you sent me here didn't you?" I asked he stopped bouncing and smiled "yes, we brought you here because you have such a vast knowledge on us and wanted Hetalia to be real so badly that we decide to bring you here and make you a country. Isn't wonderful? We picked you out of all the girls and boys in the world" he said "yes I am grateful but, what do you mean by 'we'?" 

Oh, so her teleportation into the Hetalia world is explained. Still makes no sense why she was picked, though.

I asked he smiled but made it even more cheerful looking "I mean-""the cupcake freak means us, doll" I looked behind me to see 2P America Allen Johnson or as he prefers to called Al, he had red/brown hair, red eyes, a bomber jacket with a fifty on the back, black gloves, sunglasses and, like the fan fiction says, a baseball bat with nails at the top. 

OH MY GOODNESS, NOT THE ANOTHER COLOURS.

And another thing: why is Allen’s appearance described as being “like the fanfiction says”? Since the Another Colour Main Six aren’t canon (only their Nyotalia forms are), everyone has a different interpretation of what they look like. What fanfiction is Kaitlyn referring to?

I need to stop asking questions when it’s clear I won’t get answers.

I started blushing because when I found out about the 2P's I developed a crush on them. "Well hello, doll face" he said as he walked up to me "Al" was all I could say he smiled and put a finger under my chin and moved his face closer about 2 inches from mine "heh, she's pretty cute. No 2P Serenia but hey she's just as cute" 

ANOTHER ONE IN THE HAREM.

he said I backed away a little "you mean I have a 2P?" I asked then Oliver came from behind and hugged me I yelped and winced Oliver looked down and said "oh dear you got injured. We'll bring you to Yung" then another figure appeared with a medical kit. He looked like Yao except he had black hair and red eyes 

Doesn’t regular China also have black hair? Also, what the fuck kind of name is “Yung?” That syllable doesn’t exist in Chinese.

"hello, Mrs. Water lily" he said as he tended to my wounds as I sat on the floor "it's nice to meet you, and you don't have to be so formal with me please call me anything you like" I beamed he had a light blush across his cheeks "fine, I will call you… nightingale because you have the beautiful voice of one" he said I turned bright red. 

You’ve met her for at most five minutes.

When he finished I had a bandage around my whole torso and stomach and head. 

A bandage around her torso, stomach and head? She must look like a mummy from the waist up.

"Thanks, I owe you one." I said "oh, don't worry about it, poppet. We wouldn't want you to be hurt now would we?" Oliver said "now, see that door?" he said as a blue door appeared "uh huh" I said "go straight through it and you'll wake up to the 1P's and have theses bandages on still" he said. 

So the Another Colour characters were only brought up to keep Kaitlyn from dying and providing exposition. Well, I shouldn’t have expected anything more.

I walk to the but I stop when I put my hand on the handle I turn to the 2P's "but will I see any of you guys again" I ask. Al smiles and says "of course. Why wouldn't we want to see your cute face again, doll face" Al replied I nodded and walked through the door. When I wake up. I open my eyes and see Feli asleep and everyone else talking about things 'no sign of Sealand' I sit up and groan "ow, my head" everyone looks at me their eyes widen as I stand up. "Will you stop looking at me like that? I'm fine" I said smiling "cheerio everyone!" we turn our heads to see Sealand on his 'country' 'I haven't met Sealand yet' "I brought my whole country here to help you all!" he shouted "you don't have a whole country to begin with go home you little pipsqueak!" Arthur yelled.

“Sealand and England arguing over whether or not he’s a country” trope, check.

5 minutes later. Everyone just finished eating food from Yoa's resort that was conveniently on the island. 

Who is Yoa?

"I am so full at moment" Yao said rubbing his belly. "Who knew you had a resort on this island" Arthur said I sat on the shore of the ocean, letting the water touch my feet. 'My babies, I raised them from pups and cubs and now their pictonians.'

What an out-of-place line to wrap up this chapter. The conversation has just started, nobody has responded to it and nobody knows what will happen. It feels very abrupt.

...

Well, that was it. I am in immense pain and I feel like I’ve lost a few brain cells. This was maybe the most illogical, unenjoyable thing I’ve read in quite a while, but am I going to also review the other chapters? Yes. For now, I’m going to rethink my life choices and try to forget what I read here.

[languor-em]

Alright, I wanna tell a story. I've been listening to a lot of scary stories and creepypasta readings, and that's gotten me thinking about the very few personal creepy experiences I've had in the past. I think I'm gonna make this like,, a once a day reblog thing. I'll start by telling one story and reblog every day with a new one until I'm all caught up. Y'all definitely don't have to read this, but I think they're very interesting to tell, so enjoy!!

It's a little long, so I'll put it under the cut UwU

To preface, I am a very superstitious person. My mom, although now christian, was a wiccan shortly before becoming pregnant with me. On top of that, she's half Welsh, so I grew up on a lot of old Celtic folk tales and stuff. I grew up with stories of The Good Neighbors, with warnings never to give my true name to things that seem beyond human, to watch my tone and my words as to not be taken advantage of, to always be polite but always wary, and to recognize the power of the number three. So as you can imagine, I've always believed and been fascinated by the paranormal. I was also a very imaginative kid, so a lot of these stories can likely be written off as the wild dreams of a creative kid who grew up on freaky folk tales.

With all that in mind, let's get to the main meat of the story.

I was around five, maybe six when this happened. I had my bed in the same spot it's in now, tucked in the corner of my room underneath my window. The door to my bedroom is on the wall opposite and diagonal to my bed, tucked into a little alcove where my bookshelf is today. I can add a picture for reference if you guys would like, just let me know. At the time, I had a large-ish dollhouse that was near the entrance of my room, on the wall next to my closet. This will be an important detail later.

As I said before, I was an imaginative kid. I was always able to freak myself out with thoughts of the monsters under my bed and in my closet, but that was always that particular sort of childlike fear, never true terror or anything like that. I may have been afraid of the monsters under my bed, but I was still able to distinguish fiction from reality.

It was late at night, probably well past midnight, and I had found myself awake and sitting up in bed. I don't even remember what woke me up or what possessed me to sit up, but I was nonetheless. I remember looking over to my door, just sort of aimlessly looking around my room. My eyes initially sort of,, slid over a particular spot in front of my door, but I remember forcing myself to look at it. I remember it seemed really weird to me just how hard it was to look at that spot, and little dumbass Ronnie wanted to know what was going on. I remember freezing up when I realized there was something wrong.

I can't really describe it very well, it was really just a mass of shadows. Like,, a really tiny shadow person. Maybe a little bit smaller than an American Girl Doll if that helps with the visual?? It was definitely humanoid, but for some reason I just KNOW that there was something wrong with its proportions. I can't remember what it was, but there was just something viceraly WRONG with it. I just,, froze. I was absolutely terrified, and it wasn't the childish fear I felt when I freaked myself out. No, this was sheer and all consuming terror. I remember time seeming to slow down, the few seconds I stared at it there seeming to be minutes, maybe even hours. Then the little fucker started moving.

This little bitch straight up just started,,, sprinting around my room. I remember the path it took vividly, out from the spot in front of my door, in front of the doll house, under my bed, over my little basket of books, and back to the spot it started at. It went through this cycle over and over again, just picking up more and more speed as it went. I was absolutely frozen, clutching my blankets to my chest and watching it go with wide eyes. I remember finally mustering up the courage to move and look over the end of my bed, only to see it dart out and continue in it's cycle. I was terrified, and I vividly remember shooting backwards and away from the foot of my bed. I didn't know what to do, so I did the only thing I could think of.

I screamed as loud as I could, I think trying to get my parents.

I started sobbing the moment my mom and dad burst into the room, pointing at the spot where the little bitch was STILL STANDING. My parents couldn't really make out what I was saying, but I remember my mom bundling me up in her arms and starting to calm me down. I buried my head into her chest, not wanting to keep looking at the little thing in front of my door. Once I calmed down enough to speak clearly, I tried to explain what had happened, trying to point out the weird little creature and just,,, freezing up when I saw it was gone. Just,,, fucking gone. Like,, maybe it walked out of my bedroom and left or something?? I don't remember.

My parents didn't believe me if course, why would they? It just sounded like a little kid's nightmare or something. They told me that it was probably just the shadows playing tricks on my mind, that it was probably just the shadow of my dollhouse or something.

And sure, in hindsight I can totally see how that could be an explanation. Hell, maybe that's exactly what it was. But Jesus Christ, the real and genuine fear I felt in that moment was horrifyingly real. And just,, the way the thing was moving just felt way too real and organic to be shadows playing tricks. It just,,, it was odd to say the least. Even if it was actually something, I'm not sure if I was in any danger or not. I was scared, sure, but the dude was just running around my room. Sure, it definitely felt like it was looking at me, but I??? I'm not sure if it actually meant any harm or not.

I don't know, If anyone has an explanation or something, that would be really cool to hear. I'm open to answer any questions anyone has, but I'll let you know in advance that I don't remember a whole lot from my childhood, so I might not have great answers for y'all.

If you guys enjoyed it, I'll keep posting my stories like these until I'm all caught up! I'm super open to any explanations anyone might have, whether logical, supernatural, or anything else! I'm excited to keep telling my dumb lil spooky stories, especially because I think they're maybe connected?? I don't know, I'd love to hear what anyone else thinks!!

Thanks for reading, and have a nice day!! :D

[serahsanguine]

Vacation Series Pt. 2. Halloween Surprises Ch, 4

This is the second book in a two-part series

Book one. - pt. 1, pt. 2, pt. 3, pt. 4, pt. 5, pt. 6

Book Two. - pt. 1, pt, 2, pt. 3, 

All chapters can be found Here on Ao3

This Chapter Rating; NC-17 NSFW

Tagging; @skullsmuldon @baronessblixen @today-in-fic

*********************************

Chapter 4; Day Four - Vanity Fair

Mulder woke up and felt the cold sweat of Scully’s skin as he rolled her over slightly and nuzzled his nose into her strawberry smelling hair. Whispering reassurances over and over again tell her he loved her, that they were safe. She opened her eyes adjusting to the darkness she could tell she had been crying and she clung to Mulder’s body. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too, care to tell me about it?”

“I will but not now, I'm going to grab a glass of water.”

“Ok,” he said simply not wanting to push the matter and make it worse.

“I’ll be quick I promise, the fires nearly out and the room is quite chilly” she leaned back over to him her finger gracefully touching his cheek “I’m ok I promise”

He smiled weakly and watched her wander to the bathroom. She switched the light on and grabbed the glass she kept by the sink and ran the water cold before filling it and taking a sip.  

It didn’t agree with her and everything she had eaten the day before all came up and into the toilet bowl. Mulder was up in a flash and by her side for support. His hand grabbing her hair to keep it out of her face and his other hand rubbing her back. He helped soothe her as best he good but he felt useless.

5 minutes passed and everything that was coming up was out and now all that was left was her dry heaving into the bowl. She sat on the cool tile floor and Mulder had grabbed a washcloth and ran it under cool water to apply to her head and neck. 

“Are you feeling any better?” he asked concerned.

“No, but I think that’s it for now,” she replied solemnly.

“What happened?"

“The bowling alleys hotdog disagreed with me,” she said trying to calm her breathing down and trying no to throw up her stomach acid. 

“You did say you didn’t think it tasted right,” he said in confirmation. 

She nodded and rung the washcloth out and ran it under the tap before replacing it to her skin. “That'll teach me to listen to your advice and eat junk food.”

“This is not my fault,” he said defensively and looked away at the floor.

She smiled and locked her fingers with his, he looked up into her face and smiled back and realized she was teasing him.

“Nice to see you're making jokes, are you ready to go back to bed?”

“Yes, I think so.” 

Scully stood up and went to walk out of the bedroom but Mulder scooped her up under the legs and carried her to bed. 

“I can walk you know,” she said laughing.

“I know but I felt chivalrous,” he replied smiling back down at her. 

He wrapped the blanket around her skin and she was asleep instantly, it was a little while before he fell back to sleep making sure she had everything from a sick bucket a fresh cup of water. He was worried for her and hoped she was up for tomorrow as he knew she was really looking forward to the vanity fair.

//

Both Mulder and Scully had been awake for several hours now dealing with some of the preparations for tomorrow's Halloween party. 

The Lone Gunman had gone way overboard on the pumpkins, buying 25 of them to be exact, all of them needed to be scooped and cleaned with the inside of the pumpkin put in a bowl to make pies for tomorrow.  Mulder and Scully were sat by the kitchen island, Scully’s hair was tied back in a low ponytail keeping the pumpkin from attaching itself to her hair. She was wearing a low cut vest top with a cardigan buttoned up, her jeans covered buy an apron, she was cleaning out her second pumpkin. Mulder was wearing black joggers and a grey tank top also cleaning out his second pumpkin. All of them agreed to do 5 pumpkins each and once cleaned they would get to do a different design on each one.

Mulder watched as Scully was finishing up, he just stared and watched for awhile he knew she was still feeling quite ill from yesterday but was putting on a brave face as they sat trying not to let on. But when you look deeper she was aglow her skin porcelain and freckled but her cheeks were red from the fire and warmth of the house. Loose curled hair framed her beautiful face her eyes downcast at the task at hand. Her nose is small and quaint, her lips pink luscious and kissable but they were covered by the tip of her tongue just darting out from between her lips. He smiled because she didn’t know she did this, and she only did it when she was concentrating he never brought it up in case it made her self conscious and she would stop. 

She looked up and caught him staring at her and instantly she blushed it didn’t matter whether they were in a relationship or not whenever he looked at her like that it sent her into little schoolgirl crush mode. 

They got through the rest of the pumpkins creating creepy ghosts, ghoulies, monsters and cats, even carving an X into the largest one they had between them. 

Mulder placed a tea light in his last pumpkin and held it up next to him, he had carved a face with a large smile into it.  

“Scully, You light me up,” he held up the lit pumpkin and then looked at her with a cheeky smile on his face.

She looked at him and smiled and then proceeded to laugh at his awful pun.

“How long have you been holding that one in?”

“Since we started. ”

“You’re incorrigible” she carried on laughing. She managed to calm herself down some minutes later and watched him as he scooped some of the ‘guts’ of the pumpkin into his hand.

“Don’t you dare Mulder.”

She watched as if in slow motion he pulled his hand back and threw the pumpkin insides at her. His evil smirk said everything she needed to know as she picked up some of her insides and threw it back at him. 

“Do you really want this to turn this into a food fight, Scully?

“You started it, Mister.”

They threw pumpkin back and forth until the whole kitchen was covered in orange blobs and seeds he had definitely achieved his goal of helping to cheer her up and not think about how awful she felt.  

“Thank you,” she said quietly. 

“Anytime, but we need to get this place cleaned up before the boys get home.”

She looked around at the room and sighed their little bit of fun had caused so much chaos. 

“Ok, I will get the mop and you get the broom.”

Mulder followed Scully to the cleaning closet, she grabbed the mop and he grabbed a Halloween broom. 

He looked at Scully, witches broom in hand “Stick with me.” 

She rolled her eyes and he watched her laugh as she walked back into the kitchen. He put the decorative item down and grabbed the real thing and proceeded to help her clean up the mess they had created. 

//

That Following Night.   

Scully was still under the weather and feeling sick but was miles better then she was feeling the night before. She was just putting the finishing touches on her outfit. She wore a red dress that came up just above her knees, black tights and red pumps. Her hair was down and curly around her face, her face with just a small touch of makeup. Her gold cross sitting firmly in the middle of her neck. 

She walked out of her bedroom and down the stairs finding Mulder staring at her from his seat in the living room. His face in awe of her beauty. 

“Mulder close your jaw, you’re catching flies.”

“I… ugh… Wow”

She blushed profusely. But quickly turned it around back on him. She raked her eyes down on his form, his Jean's were dark and acid washed and they curved his ass perfectly, she remembered the first time he wore them, his ass looked smackable. At least this time she could actually touch him. His attire above the waste consisted of a grey t-shirt paired with a black leather jacket. 

“You don’t look so bad yourself Mulder,” now it was Mulder's turn to blush. Scully slipped on her black trench coat and hooked her arm inside Mulders and they walked into town towards the vanity fair. 

10 minutes later they arrived, it was beautifully decorated, there were streamers full of ghosts and cobwebs everywhere complete with freaky looking spiders. Chinese lanterns with amazingly drawn mythical creatures hung from above and they had pumpkins of every variety placed all over. What really surprised them both is they even had characters from Mulder’s new favourite movie ‘A Nightmare Before Christmas’ with people dressed up as Oogie Boogie and Jack Skeleton, even children adorned costumes as Lock, Shock and Barrel. 

“Mulder, can we go over there first?”

Mulder followed Scully gaze as she pointed towards the shooting stall. He smiled. 

“Only if you think you can beat me, Scully.”

“Is that a challenge Mulder?” she said emphasized his name, he simply nodded in return “You’re on” and off they walked towards the shooting stand. 

The stands colours were bright orange and yellow, exactly what you would normally find at a funfair. But instead of shooting a family of plastic ducks you were shooting a family of pumpkins. 

“You being a hot shot can go first.”

“Thank you,” he was feeling cocky and she could tell she as she watched him line up with the plastic cork gun in hand he shot them hitting ten out of 13 targets.

“Not bad Mulder.”

“Your turn Scully but that is hard to beat.”

“We shall see,” she thought she walked to the stand picking up the loaded cork gun taking the right stance she aimed the gun and fired hitting every pumpkin and not missing one. 

“Wow Miss, that was brilliant” Scully beamed a full toothy grin at the stall, “Which large plush would you like?”

“That one please” she pointed at the rather large grey alien hanging from the ceiling. 

“Here you go, Miss.”

“Thank you,” she took the large plush toy from the elderly man, said her goodbyes and they left to find another attraction.  

They found the candy floss stall and Mulder ordered them both a cone each. 

“I have a sugar crush on you,” he said sweetly.

“Oh brother,” as she rolled her eyes and in search for a small bench to eat and talk away from the crowds. 

“Here you go, Mulder, this is for you,” she said handing him the grey plush toy.

“I.. Don’t know what to say, Scully. You didn’t have to give me this you won it fair and square.”

“I may have, but It's not that I had to give it to you it, I wanted too. Just say thank you, Scully, and give me a kiss. ”

“Thank you, Scully.”

He leaned forward brushing his lips against hers and the fireworks of passion ignited there, he pulled away but not before she pulled him back again, her tongue probing inside his mouth tasting cotton candy and mulled wine.

“Mmm, You taste good Mulder.”

He pulled away his cheeks red and a boyish grin upon his face. 

“How about the House of Horrors next?”

“Is that the one with all the mirrors?” he opened his mouth to reply but she carried on talking not letting him say a word. “Because if it is the answer is definitely no. We have been there and done that, never again.”

“Ok, so that’s out the picture, how about the haunted house?

“Really?” she raised her eyebrow in scepticism. 

“Yeah, come on Scully it will be fun.”

“Fine why not.”

They soon finished their cotton candy and went to the haunted house. Stepping inside to complete darkness, Mulder went first in protection. Scully laughed making a comment that plastic does not kill anyone. They walked the corridors as plastic mannequins decorated with fake blood jumped out of nowhere. Vampires, jumping spiders also popped up, Scully could not help but laugh as every time something made Mulder jump he screamed like a girl and then pretended to be all macho and act as if nothing happened. Finally, they got to the end and it was straight on the ghost train which was full of mostly the same stuff but with added fog, mist and neon lights. Scully took the opportunity to snuggle into Mulder's side while they went around the track. He was warm and smelled like Paco Rabanne and her Paris perfume, it was a gentle mix but one that certainly suits them both. 

Their evening at the funfair came to an end and it was time to go home. They took a small stroll along the beach watching the moon reflect on the calm ocean. They arrived home and noticed the Lone Gunman had kept the fire going in the living room for them so the house wasn't as brisk as the outside. They took off their coats and both wandered upstairs, Scully slipping her pumps off along the way and depositing the rest of her clothes in the bedroom, she slipped into her cotton full-length pyjamas before sliding in between the sheets. She watched as Mulder unclothed and found an old t-shirt to lay in bed with making sure to grab the book before getting comfortable. They would both forgo their nightly routine, they were much too tired.

With Mulder propped up with pillows behind his back and Scully laying on the side of his body with her face and head in his chest. He began to read. 

“On the brink of what was once known as ‘The River Hill’ at the east of Main Street in Williamston, there formerly stood an old hotel building. Owned and operated by the Edward Yellowy family in the early and middle 1800’s, the hotel was frequented by captain and sailors. From barges and ships while they were docked at the Roanoke River wharf just below ‘The River Hill.’

He looked down to find she was still awake her eyes were drooping but she was listening intently. 

“Incidentally, one of Edward Yellowlys' sons, Edward C. Yellowly, practised law in Greenville and was one of the principles in what was said to be among the last duels fought in North Carolina. The duel took place at the Virginia-North Carolina state line along the Dismal Swamp canal in October 1947, and Yellowly’s opponent, C.F. Harries, another Greenville lawyer, was killed in the encounter. 

“Returning to the old hotel, it had a handsome mahogany stairway and a large balcony covering the entire front. The front veranda was elevated so that the carriages could drive under it. It’s said that a misunderstanding developed between a honeymooning couple staying at the hotel and the young bride leapt off the balcony to her death it was the reason that the place developed a reputation for being ‘Haunted’.”

He stopped and listened to her calm breathing and soft snore he carried on reading to make sure she was completely asleep before putting the book down, that and he hated leaving a story not finished. 

“The hotel was finally abandoned, but an ancient piano was left in it. Some of the neighbourhood children in the old days would go into the abandoned structure and play the piano. There were also rumours that musical sounds could be heard in the building when no one was around. Some thought the music was played without human hands, and an examination would show that there was undisturbed dust on the keys of the piano. When this writer was a child, all children were afraid to go into this old hotel or even pass by the place when alone. It was widely known among the children as ‘The Haunted Hotel’.”

Mulder leaned over to his side of the bed and placed the book down softly, Scully was still asleep on his chest and he fell asleep along with her. 

[venomous--fics]

Pearlie: TYSM for the request! I used Carnage because I am already dying for the next Venom movie so I have been reading up on Carnage.

Relationship: Eddie Brock/Venom x Mutant!Reader

STORY:

Eddie and Venom had been busy all week. It seemed like crime was only increasing, despite the fact Venom ate nearly all the scum they encountered. Luckily for them, the afternoon was fairly decent so they decided to walk around the city, occassionally stopping for drinks or a bite to eat.

"What sounds good for lunch, V?"

"Hmm." Venom thought, "We could stop at that pizza joint you're always talking about."

"We sure could if you'd like. I'm starving."

"You are not alone on that."

"Pizza it is." Eddie smiled, almost putting a skip in his step.

Despite nothing happening, the two were still on high alert, only relaxing a little once the auroma of pizza was wafting through the air. Eddie opened the door to the pizza parlor and quickly found a decent seat next to a window.

Before they knew it, they had ordered seven pizzas, some with bizarre topping combos. The waiter paid no mind and walked off. Eddie tapped his knuckles on the table, squinting as the sun obscured his view.

Just as the duo was about to lower their guard, a police car was flying through the street and people were running in fear. Eddie stood from the table and ran outside to assess the situation.

"Carnage." Venom growled, "What a dick."

"Didn't you make that d- Nevermind." Eddie clapped his hands together, "Let's go fuck shit up my man."

Venom enveloped Eddie and the two were off in an attempt to stop the beast.

---

You had your earbuds in as you walked down the street, towards the pizza place. You called in an order for your ritualistic Friday night in. You hummed to the beat and scrolled through your phone for a better song to listen to.

You had no idea of your surroundings until someone ran past you, and nearly bumped into you. You took and earbud out, "Hey, pal! Watch where you're--"

You slowly turned back from him and saw the city being torn apart. More and more people were running away in absolute panic.

"The hell.."

You stood still, unsure of what do to. What could you do? If you used your powers, there was a fear of being detained.. If you didn't help, then people being hurt would be on you.

Before you could even turn away and act like nothing was wrong, you heard a vicious roar followed by a car alarm.

You turned your head up a little and saw a large black mass flying towards you. Without any time to move, you cowar a bit as the mass flew through you.

You opened your eyes and turned around, seeing a creature getting up off the pavement and shaking it's head, growling as bits of rubble were shook off.

You panicked a little and ran past it and immediately phasing through the nearest wall. The creature had seen it all.

---

After what felt like 2 days, Venom and Eddie were able to subdue the vile Carnage just enough to get him to retreat.

The two were still curious as to what happened earlier with the strange girl and the going through walls.

"We could've been hallucinating from lack of food." Eddie rubbed his face, tired.

"No she was real." Venom snapped, "We do not hallucinate."

"Right. Okay.. But how the hell are we gonna find her in this big city..."

"Perhaps there is still a scent."

"Man, that's weird.. Like kinda creepy weird." Eddie groaned, wanting nothing more than to just get his food and go home.

"We must find the mystery girl, Eddie. Maybe she can help us in combat." Venom grinned rather gleefully.

"We don't really need help, but I do wanna make sure she isn't a threat. Y'know?"

Venom seemed to have agreed and they began their detective work.. As usual.

---

You finally stopped running when you noticed you were in on the the of town. You turned to look at the skyline.

You slipped up and now you'd probably have to move. Again. Maybe change your name? You looked around to make sure you weren't followed.

Nobody knew you had these powers, and that's fine with you. You wanted to be normal. And you knew deep down that if anyone knew they would only use you.

You shrugged off the cool air and started to make the totally normal trek back home. The gears in your head started turning and you got angry. That black slimey thing... What if IT was the bad guy. Maybe you should track it down and fight it. Then again ... It was probably stronger than you.

You slipped your earbuds back in and tried to chill out. It was going to be fine. You were going to make it home, you were going to eat low quality take out food. And life would be as normal as you remembered.

You made it back into the city and despite cooling down a bit, you were still filled with dread that some form of alien creature knows you exist and that you have powers.

You scoffed as you hit the walk signal button, "Haha as if....What? And it's tracked me down? Y/N, don't be ridiculo--"

You felt a puff of hot air on the back of your neck and you stiffened up like a fence post. You slowly turned around, "Well, speak of the devil..."

It was the being from earlier. You took a step back, "H-hey. Get out of my crawl.. M-man??"

"Where are my manners." It said in a low tone, wicked teeth curling into a smile, "We are Venom."

"Edgy." you blurted out. You tough guy persona started to come out as a defense mechanism, "Can you go."

The black ooze began to move, revealing a rather-from what you could see- cute guy. You weren't prepared for that and you jumped back, "What the fu- What the hell?"

"No please!" the man pleaded, "Not gonna hurt you. I'm Eddie Brock. That was my pal Venom. We uh.. I guess we're the good guys."

You eyed him up and down, "I'm Y/N....I guess." And the dots started to click, "Eddie Brock...That reporter guy?"

"Used to be."

"Used to be a fan- Uhm.. So why are you stalking me.."

"Earlier. Venom and I.. We kinda went through you."

"Oh. That was you." You sighed, "Please. I can't talk about it.. I'm terrified of someone finding out. I'm not gonna cause problems.. Just trying to make a living."

"Understandable." Eddie said, "We can talk over pizza. Totally spaced that I ordered like seven of 'em two hours ago."

You weren't sure what to expect. He just shifted the mood and conversation so far.. And you knew he wasn't a bad guy.

He held out his hand, "We swear we aren't gonna try any funny business.. Ot's nice to see another freak on the street."

"Freak?"

"It's a term of endearment to us. You hear it so much that it almost sounds like a compliment."

You looked at his hand, "Alright, Eddie. But you try anything and I'll hurt you."

You reached your hand out and purposefully phased it through his. He was taken aback and you moved past him, "Gotcha."

"Where you goin'?" he asked, turning around.

"Thought you said we'd talk over pizza." you smiled at him, "You coming or what?"

Eddie looked at his hand as he started to follow you. He could hear Venom chuckling, "Eddie. We like her."

Eddie was still looking at his hand, "God that was freaky."

Turning around, you phased your hands through his chest, causing him to jump a little. You moved back, "I'll keep doing it."

"Please don't." Eddie's voice cracked, causing Venom to laugh. Eddie's voice cracked again, "Shut up."

--- (slight timeskip brought to you by my fear of this being too long lmao) --

An alarm went off, causing you to groan and went to slam your fist on it, but in your tired state, your fist went through the table. You groaned even louder and sat up, "Shut up already. We get it...It's morning."

The bedside next to you shifted and Eddie turned over, facing you, "Five more minutes."

You laid back down and shut your eyes, "You said that the first time it went off."

"And I'll say it again." he yawned.

You adjusted your position so you could look at him, "That WAS five minutes ago."

His brows furrowed and he whined, "But I'm tired."

You rolled your eyes and smiled. It's been about nine months since that day they phased through you and then got you pizza as consolation. Everything fell into place after that.

Eddie convinced you that you could use your powers for good, so sometimes you help them during fights. And about 4 months ago, Eddie asked you to move in after your millionth date. He made it seem more like a wedding proposal, however. He just wanted to be with you.

Eddie's hand began snaking over to you, and you decided to make him get up. His hand wound up going through you, and he patted the bed, "Y/N. Babe? You there?"

His hand went through your arm and you laughed, "I'm here. But you gotta get up."

He pulled his hand back and opened his eyes, "You're a jerk."

You sat up and pushed yourself off the mattress, "And you need a shower."

Eddie sighed and rolled out of bed, "Fine."

You went through the bedroom door, but immediately stuck your head back through, "I'll cook some breakfast!"

Eddie slammed himself into the wall and grabbed his chest, "Wouls you stop doing that?! It's still freaky."

"It's been like nine months."

"It looks like I'm talking to a decapitated head.."

You looked at the door and phased your hand through, shaking them like you were doing jazz hands, "Is this better?"

"Wha-Wh-What would you do if one of our friends came in and just part of your body going through a door?" Eddie squeaked.

You were totally unphased by the question and you kept a flat face, "We don't have any friends, Eddie."

"Shower." Eddie half smiled, "I need a shower."

He walked to the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

"I think it is funny." Venom said.

"You also think eating people is funny."

"Their screams amuse me."

"Thank you, V."

Eddie let out a yelp as you were now in the bathroom. You let out a laugh, "I'm sorry. I had to. I'll go make some food."

Eddie nodded as his nerves finally calmed down, "That would be wonderful."

You smiled at him and pulled him into a hug. You stood on your tiptoes and gave him a soft kiss on the lips, "Love you, fraidy cat."

"Love you too, weird..ghost cat."

[tastycitrus]

The Powerpuff Girls (SRW) get their souls trapped in dolls and then stranded on Dr. Quandary’s Secret Island

Or, Meme Dwellers play The Secret Island of Dr. Quandary (except not really, I never wrote anything more for this). A joke story I wrote for some reason like two years ago that I’m now putting on here for some reason? It’s just a shitpost, lol.

Who thought it was a good idea to force the Steel Dragons to attend a carnival? The only culprit that came to mind was Excellen, but as crafty as she was there was no way she could’ve convinced the higher-ups to turn a carnival trip into a “mandatory team-building exercise” for the Steel Dragons and their associates.

Now, normally being forced to attend a carnival wasn’t the worst thing ever. But this carnival was really something else. I mean…really something else.

It was clear at first glance that the people behind this horrible place pretending to be a fun carnival didn’t care a single bit for their patrons’ safety. They also probably cared even less about making it actually fun.

The Ferris wheel was stopped for what had to be the fifteenth time that day, leaving the unfortunate victims who were dumb enough to get on trapped inside until the maintenance workers could get it moving again. The bathrooms smelled like rotten ass and probably had seventeen different STDs infesting the seats. The food was tasteless at best and looked like they had failed every bit of health inspection out there. All the games looked uninteresting and were probably rigged anyway.

To top it all off, even the atmosphere itself seemed to be as bleak and gloomy as this parody of a carnival. How the hell did this place manage to stay in business?

Katia, Melua, and Tenia thought long and hard about that question as they wandered around this travesty that called itself a carnival.

“Where’s Touya, Calvina, and the bland twins?” Tenia asked. “How’d we lose them in this place? I mean—I can understand losing Akimi and Akemi, but Touya and Calvina are pretty distinct, you know?”

Melua glanced around. “Yeah, usually Calvina’s the one who loses us, not the other way around.”

“You’d think we’d be able to keep track of the four people we were supposed to be exploring this ‘carnival’ with.” Katia scanned the premises for a familiar face. “Also, where the heck is anybody else? This place can’t be that big.”

She sighed, pulling out her phone. “You know what, why don’t we just try calling Calvina instead of wandering around like lost kids—”

Suddenly, a carny shouted very loudly in their direction, “Step right up! Have a try at this game! It’s free!”

Katia coughed after a moment. “Well, I’ll call—”

“Come on, don’t be shy! Try your hand at Troggle Shoot! You win a prize every time!”

“…I’ll call—”

“And yes, I am talking to you, trio of girls who look like lost children and whose color schemes are blatantly ripping off the Powerpuff Girls. Come here and play Troggle Shoot!”

The three girls sighed and turned to look at the carny shouting at them. He was a man dressed in purple robes and a funny hat manning a stand that no one seemed to be paying much attention to. His stand was evidently his game of Troggle Shoot, judging by his earlier shouting and also the flashing neon pink sign that said “Troggle Shoot” on top of the stand.

The three exchanged glances.

“What if it’s a kidnapping attempt?” Katia asked.

“Surprisingly, we haven’t run into that in this carnival yet,” Melua replied. “I don’t see any of the others, but if we shout loud enough someone should come running…”

“He doesn’t look so tough.” Tenia glanced at the carny. “He looks old and scrawny. I bet even we could beat him up. And he did go through all the trouble of calling us out.”

Katia sighed. “I swear, you two are going to land us in a shallow grave out on the side of a road one day.”

They reluctantly headed over to the carny’s stand, because he was a creepy old man being incredibly insistent on having three girls play his probably terrible game. He gave them what was likely supposed to be a disarming smile as they approached. Unfortunately, it just made him look creepier.

“Welcome, girls! I am the ingenious Dr. Quandary, the quintessential quizmaster! But you may call me Doctor Q.”

Oh great, alliteration. How wonderful—I absolutely adore the amazing appeal of alliteration. It’s immensely impressive to implement.

“You must be so happy,” Katia whispered to Melua. “You’ve finally found kin.”

“Shut up, Katia.”

Doctor Q continued on. “It’s your lucky day! I am offering you three a free game of Troggle Shoot! If you win, you can have these three dolls.”

He gestured to three dolls sitting atop a shelf in the stand. One was of a babyish blond child dressed in blue overalls. Another was a pink-skinned…person dressed in blinding yellow clothes. The last was aptly described as a horrific pumpkin-headed mutant wearing a popped-collar shirt and Hawaiian shorts.

“Excuse me, did I say dolls? I meant to say…Lifelike Action Figures!”

“…Just call them dolls, dude.” Tenia gave him her best impression of Calvina’s “what the fuck is this shit” face. “We’re not even boys—trying to play to that stereotype doesn’t make any sense!”

“Also these dolls are the ugliest things I’ve ever seen,” Katia added.

Melua grimaced. “Trying to offer them as prizes just makes me want to play this game even less!”

Doctor Q waved his hands. “Hey, hey, don’t be like that. Who knows? Maybe you’ll grow to like these precious faces!”

“I doubt that,” the three girls said in unison.

“…Look, it’s a free game and you get free stuff. Didn’t your parents teach you not to look a gift horse in the mouth?”

“Our parents are dead.”

“…Well, why not distract yourself from the grief and sadness with a little game of Troggle Shoot! It’s free! See that Troggle in the box marked TARGET?”

“We don’t want to—”

He pointed insistently at an LCD screen built into the side of the stand that showed an image that was probably supposed to be that Troggle thing he was talking about.

“Shoot as many of them as you can.” He set three BB guns on the table. “You each have 20 bullets. You can start firing whenever you’re ready.”

The three girls sighed. What a pushy guy. Seeing as he probably wasn’t going to leave them alone until they played his crappy game, they took the guns he offered them. Doctor Q’s smile widened as he stepped aside to activate the game. In the back of the stand, Troggles of all shapes and sizes began to roll across the shooting gallery’s three rows, but the girls were aiming for only one type.

One such Troggle came out first from the right on the middle row. Katia aimed and fired first. However, she aimed where it was instead of where it was going to be, so the Troggle rolled onward unharmed while her bullet looked stupid as it hit nothing.

“Oops. Well, at least Calvina isn’t here to complain about how much I suck at shooting.”

At least her mistake taught Tenia and Melua that they should aim slightly ahead of the Troggles to hit them. With that lesson learned, the girls began to shoot down Troggle after Troggle with relative ease. The game was surprisingly simple with no bullshit rigging involved, and they each had some experience in shooting because during their little venture in space Calvina decided to give them lessons since they had nothing else to do most of the time.

Once they used up their 20 bullets, their total Troggles shot came up to 53. Doctor Q shut off the machine and applauded them.

“Bravo, girls! Nice shooting! You’ve won your prizes.” He paused. “Though I must warn you; the prize you choose may have a dramatic effect on your future. These are not your ordinary Lifelike Action Figures. In fact, you might even swear they were alive sometimes!” He let out a deep laugh.

“Are you seriously still calling them Lifelike Action Figures?” asked Tenia. “And why does this sound incredibly foreboding?”

Doctor Q ignored her. “Let me tell you about them.”

He first gestured to the babyish one on the far left. “This is B. Ginner. It’s harmless, mostly.”

He moved on to the pink one on the far right. “This is O. D. Nary. A nice, middle of the road fellow.”

Finally, he motioned to the tan one with the pumpkin head. “And this is D. Fee Cult. It can be a real pain in the posterior. Which one will you take?”

“What’s with the punny names?” Katia asked. “And also the foreboding descriptions? Everything about this whole setup is incredibly suspicious and I don’t think we should accept these dolls.”

“Even if this whole thing didn’t scream danger, I still wouldn’t want these things,” Melua muttered. “They’re all so freaky.”

Doctor Q slammed his fist on the stand, making the girls jump. “You’ll accept these Lifelike Action Figures and you’ll like it!”

“Okay, fine! We’ll take the stupid dolls!” Melua turned to the others. “I’m…going with B. Ginner. It’s the least freaky of the bunch.”

Katia shrugged. “Alright, I’ll go with O. D. Nary then.”

“Wait, but that leaves me with D. Fee Cult!” Tenia whined. “It’s so freaky with that swollen pumpkin head!”

“Too late, Tenia. At least it looks like the ultimate dudebro with that outfit.”

She groaned. “Fine. Maybe I can freak Touya out by sticking it in his room…”

The three girls reluctantly accepted their prizes. God, they were so freaky and ugly.

As they studied their freaky prizes, the dolls decided to make themselves more horrifying by suddenly opening their eyes.

“AHH! WHAT THE FU—”

The dolls began to glow, blotting out their view with bright technicolor light. The girls heard Doctor Q laugh maniacally before they blacked out.

__________________

Katia awoke with a splitting headache. She rolled onto her side and pushed herself off the sand, rubbing her head with a groan. Thankfully, her ears didn’t get any sand in them—they were however filled with the sound of the ocean’s grey waves, destined to seek life beyond the shore just out of reach. Er, wait—I mean she heard the ocean lapping against the shore.

…Wait, when the hell did she get to the beach?

Katia looked up and nearly fell over when the first thing she saw were two of those freaky dolls she, Tenia, and Melua had been given moving around like they were alive. Also, they had somehow become as big as she was.

“AHH, HOLY SHIT!”

Her outburst drew the attention of the dolls, who also startled back and screamed. Their voices sounded an awful lot like—

…Wait.

“Tenia? Melua?” Katia asked tentatively as she looked down at herself. The clothes she was wearing certainly weren’t those she had on at the carnival. And her skin was definitely not pink before.

The only thing she knew that had this ungodly pallor and disgustingly bright set of clothes was…that doll…

Looking back up, she saw that the other two seemed to have drawn the same conclusion as her. Their expressions slowly shifted into that of surprise and growing horror. Faced with this terrible realization, the girls reacted the only way they knew how:

By screaming about it.

“NOOOOO! THE LAST THING I WANTED WAS TO BECOME THIS FREAKY PUMPKIN-HEAD DOLL!”

“Dammit, I knew we were going to wind up in some crazy situation one day!”

“This is the last time I play crappy carnival games or accept ugly dolls from strangers!”

Their freak-out session was interrupted by a bottle washing up on the shore. Inside was a rolled-up paper. The three girls looked at it and then at each other.

Tenia walked over to the bottle, uncorking it and pulling out the paper inside. She unfurled it as the other two came over to read the message written on it.

Dear suckers:

Ha! You have fallen into my trap! I have implanted your minds into these DOLLS and transported you to my Secret Island! Unless you can solve all my puzzles and meet all my challenges, you’ll never see your bodies again! You’ll be real nobodies! Get it? NO BODIES! Ha ha ha ha ha

Yours Q-ly,

Doctor Quandary

“…Well, that explains how we got in this situation,” Tenia muttered.

“What the heck is wrong with this guy? Who the hell thinks ‘I’m going to go trap random kids into ugly dolls for shits and giggles’? Literally what does he stand to gain from doing any of this?”

“…Katia, I think we should be more concerned about possibly losing our bodies forever at the moment,” Melua said.

“Yeah, but how are we supposed to get our bodies back? What, is he going to make us make some fixer elixir by completing his stupid challenges?”

As Katia spoke, Tenia walked over to the recycling bin that was conveniently placed nearby and dropped the message inside. Recycling was a habit she gained after Calvina got really angry at her for littering. Surprisingly, Calvina cared a lot about the environment.

Much to her surprise, a receipt popped out after she recycled the message.

“Wait, what? I got a receipt for recycling?” She picked it up and read the big words printed on the top. “…Doctor Q’s Fixer Elixir?”

Katia stared at her. “Are you kidding me.”

She and Melua went over to read the list with Tenia. They went through the entire list in silence.

“…What kind of an ingredient list is this?” Tenia asked. “What do you mean, ‘under-the-table decoration’? Who writes a recipe in riddles?”

Melua pointed at the directions. “The directions aren’t better. ‘Heat it up until it’s too hot to drink’? ‘Drink it’? Screw you too, Doctor Q.”

Tenia groaned. “This is gonna suck. We’re gonna need some major help with this one.”

She pulled out her phone from…somewhere and dialed a number. Katia stared at her pocketless shorts.

“…Where did you get your phone from?”

__________________

The Ferris wheel had been stopped for a whole ten minutes with no signs of moving yet. Heck, the maintenance workers hadn’t even shown up. Trapped in one of the compartments at the top were Calvina, Touya, and the Akatsuki twins. Calvina glared at everyone else as they all sat in awkward silence.

“I told you this thing would break down.”

Touya looked at the floor while Akimi and Akemi stared out of opposite windows.

“…Worth it.”

“Was it? Was it really?”

“…A little.”

Calvina sighed. “This is almost as bad as that time we were stuck in that escape shuttle meant for only two people at best.”

“I wouldn’t say it’s that bad,” Touya replied. “At least this time we have breathing room and you don’t have to steer with Akimi’s ass in your face.”

Akimi coughed. “Yeah, this…is a lot better than that.”

“And we also don’t have any space malaria to worry about.” Akemi frowned. “How did we even get into that situation to begin with?”

Akimi shrugged. “Beats me. We just kinda…woke up like that. Anyway, I hope the ride starts again soon. Don’t freak out yet, but I kinda have to pee.”

The others stared at him.

“…I hope they get the ride fixed soon,” Touya muttered.

“I’ll beat the shit out of you if you piss yourself,” Calvina said flatly.

Akimi lowered his head. “Uh…got it…”

Akemi patted him on the shoulder. “If it comes down to it, you can probably pop open the compartment door and pee out there.”

“Ew, I’m not going to do that.”

Suddenly, Calvina’s phone rang.

“…Really, Calvina? Your ringtone is Megalovania?”

“Shut up, Touya.” She took out her phone and checked the caller ID before taking it. “What is it, Tenia?”

“Calvina, we need your help. Some old fart named Dr. Quandary forced us to play his crappy game and then stuffed our souls into these ugly ass dolls. Now we’re stranded on his secret island and he’s making us solve a bunch of puzzles to gather ingredients to make what sounds like a very unappetizing drink to cure our dollness. We gotta do it, because otherwise we’ll be stuck like this forever and I don’t want to be an ugly ass pumpkin-head dudebro forever, this doll is the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen. So can you please help us solve these puzzles when we get to them?”

“…What?”

“What did Tenia get into?” Touya asked.

“Apparently she, Katia, and Melua played a suspicious carnival game in the ten minutes we were separated and then the guy running the stand stuffed their souls into some dolls. Or something.”

“…What?” the other three said at the same time.

“Yeah…” Calvina frowned. “Wait, if you three are stuck in dolls without your bodies how do you still have your phone?”

In the background, she heard Katia shout, “That’s what I asked!” Tenia on the other hand was silent.

“…I don’t know, but it’s convenient, shut up. Are you going to help us or not?”

Calvina rubbed her forehead. “I mean, I guess…it’s not like the four of us are going anywhere, since these idiots wanted to ride the Ferris wheel so damn badly.” She glared at the others once again.

“What? But that thing was obviously going to break down!”

“Yeah, that’s what I said! But nooo, we just had to ride it. Look, I’m putting you on speaker now so everyone can hear what you’re saying.”

She did exactly that before setting her phone on her leg. “Okay, what are we dealing with? Where are you right now?”

“Uh, we’re on a beach. I got a message in a bottle and recycled it to get a recipe for this ‘Fixer Elixir’ which is probably the thing that’s supposed to turn us back to normal. The recipe is weird as shit though. Here, I’ll send Touya a pic.”

Touya’s phone buzzed and he pulled it out. A moment later he held out his phone to show Tenia’s pic. Everyone leaned in to read.

“…What the hell is ‘under-the-table decoration’ supposed to mean?” Akimi asked.

“That’s what I want to know!”

“Well…this seems like the start of a whole bunch of ‘what the hell is this shit’ shenanigans,” Akemi muttered as she went over the list. “Maybe we’ll get a better idea what the heck any of this is supposed to be once you start getting things.”

“I guess…I see a forest nearby so we’re going to head there first. Come on guys, let’s go.”

Calvina sighed. “This is going to be a long day…”