#a tiny dress can and will save you btw
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balkanlila · 2 months ago
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sitting on the window sill, looping blonde on blonde, painting my nails, reading ferrante time of the year
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inkedinshadows · 5 months ago
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if ur still taking requests may I please ask for prompt #22 with cassian? it can be fluffy or smutty or both 🥰 thanks love ur blog btw!! 🩷🩷🩷
Starved For Your Touch
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Pairing: Cassian x f!reader
A/N: Hi anon! Thank you so much <33 I wanted to include smut but inspiration for fluff found me first! I love drama queen cassian, hope you enjoy it 💕
Prompt: "You're such a tease today."
Warnings: none really, just a very tiny short piece of angst if you really squint
Word count: 1.5k
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You had recently realized just how much Cassian craved physical contact, and your new favorite pastime was denying him of it. You wanted to see how far you could push him before he snapped.
Apparently, just a day.
You chose a short summer dress, fully aware of the way it hugged your curves and made your legs look longer. Cassian wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off you, and you were determined not to let him touch you.
When you walked into the living room, he was lounging on the couch with Rhys and Mor. You greeted them with a smile, and Cassian’s face lit up when he saw you. Without interrupting the conversation, he reached for you, but you stayed just a few inches out of reach, merely brushing his hand with a teasing smile as you made your way to the kitchen.
When you walked back out a few minutes later, you let him grab your hand and pull you closer. You knew he wanted you to sit on his lap. You both loved it. But today you didn’t, opting instead to settle on the couch beside him. He frowned but didn’t comment.
“You look lovely, sweetheart,” he said instead. “This dress suits you.”
“It really does,” Mor chimed in from her armchair. “Which means your hands will be all over her in three… two…”
You and Rhysand chuckled, but Cassian grinned. He didn’t even try to deny it.
“Actually, I have to go,” you announced, cutting the moment short.
Cassian stilled, his arm half-lifted as he was about to drape it over your shoulders. “You’re leaving already?”
You nodded. “Yeah, I’m going shopping with Elain, remember?” You patted his knee before standing and looking at Mor. “Want to join us?”
Her smile widened. “You know it.”
You leaned down to kiss Cassian, just a brush of your lips against his—more a promise of a kiss than an actual one. He tried to keep you there, to deepen the kiss, but you pulled back.
“Always eager for more,” you murmured, and booped his nose. “I’ll see you for dinner.”
Following Mor to the front door, you turned back to wave at Cassian, catching the stunned expression plastered on his face.
Rhys just looked amused.
~~~~~~
Cassian was waiting when you returned home a few hours later.
Mor and Elain had already come back, but you’d stayed behind to buy one last item—a flimsy piece of lingerie you thought he might like.
“How long have you been standing there?” you asked as the door closed behind you. “Not since the girls came back, I hope.”
“I saw you arrive through the window.” Cassian pushed off the wall and stalked toward you, an accusatory finger pointed in your direction. “I have a bone to pick with you.”
You couldn’t help but laugh at what you assumed was supposed to be an intimidating expression. It never worked on you. He could be intimidating when he needed to—he was a warrior and a general, after all. But when he pretended, his lips jutted out slightly in a pout and a small crease appeared between his brows.
“And what is it?” you inquired, trying to walk past him and up the stairs. You were carrying a few full bags and just wanted to drop them off in your room.
Cassian’s arm shot out to block your path. “You’re not going anywhere, sweetheart. Not until you tell me why you haven’t kissed me all day.”
You cocked your head. “I have kissed you today,” you retorted.
He scoffed. “Only three times and they were just little pecks.” Then, as if it was obvious, he added, “Which don’t really count.”
“Oh, you poor big baby,” you chuckled. “What if I’m just saving the best for last because I bought something I know you’ll like?”
Cassian’s eyes darted to the bags in your hands. He tried to peek inside, but everything was neatly wrapped. He looked back at you. “Something like…?”
You smirked. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
Before he could stop you, you slipped under his arm and headed for the stairs. “I’ll leave these in our room,” you warned as you began the short climb. “And if I find out you snooped around, I’ll return the surprise.”
Cassian’s outraged gasp followed you up the stairs. You could practically see him clutching his chest, as if your words had struck him like a dagger to the heart. “When have I ever done something like that?”
“Cassian,” you scolded, not even bothering to turn around.
“Alright, alright.” You could hear the smile in his voice. “I promise.”
~~~~~~
When you joined the others downstairs, some were already gathered around the table, their choice of seating casual as always. But Cassian had saved you a spot beside him, and as you approached, you leaned in to kiss his cheek.
“Thank you, my love,” you murmured, making sure to brush your fingers along his wing as you settled into your chair.
He inhaled sharply, drawing a pointed look from Amren on his other side. She merely rolled her eyes before turning back to her conversation with Azriel.
“Sorry,” you quipped, feigning innocence. “I didn't mean to.”
Cassian narrowed his eyes. “What is going on?”
You shrugged off his question, focusing on filling your plate. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
His gaze remained fixed on you, tracking your every moment. Holding back a laugh was harder than you’d expected, but you schooled your features into an unreadable expression.
“You’re such a tease today,” he muttered. “The dress, the kisses, now my wing…” His eyes darkened slightly as he watched you take the first bite of your food. “And this morning, when you got me so worked up only to slip out of bed before I could—”
“Cassian.”
Both of you looked up. Rhysand sat directly across from you, his brows raised. It was the same look he wore when waiting for someone to admit they had done something wrong.
“What?” Cassian scowled.
“If you really can’t avoid discussing your personal life during family dinner, at least keep your voice down.” Everyone was looking at you now, but Rhys went on, an amused smirk appearing on his lips. “Besides, I’m sure Y/N has a good reason for keeping you high and dry.”
Laughter rippled around the table, but Cassian only glowered. With a smile, you placed your hand on his thigh, hidden from the others’ view. “I’m sorry,” you murmured, pressing another soft kiss to his cheek. “I’ll make it up to you.”
He simply grumbled, “Oh, you will.”
The rest of the dinner passed uneventfully. Your hand lingered on Cassian’s leg, but he paid it little attention. He seemed distant, glancing toward Azriel more than once throughout the meal. The Shadowsinger merely raised an eyebrow each time their eyes met.
Had you gone too far? Maybe you shouldn't have teased him in front of the whole family.
When dinner ended and everyone moved into the sitting room for drinks, you watched as Cassian left without a word. You made to follow him to apologize—for real this time—but Azriel pulled you aside before you could.
His expression was so grim that you paused before you could ask him to talk later.
“What’s wrong?” you asked instead.
Azriel hesitated. “I’m worried about Cassian. Is everything okay between you two?”
Your heart sank. Of course Azriel had noticed, but for him to be concerned enough to pull you aside… maybe you had really pushed Cassian too far. You needed to talk to him as soon as possible to explain things.
“No, Az, it’s fine,” you started, trying to explain. “It’s just that I—”
Your words turned into a startled scream as two strong arms suddenly wrapped around you, lifting you off the ground.
Cassian’s laughter boomed in your ears as he crushed you to his chest. “Got you!”
Your hands flew to his forearms, your heart pounding. “What… what are you doing?” you mumbled, still trying to make sense of what was happening.
Azriel’s lips curled up into a smirk. “Good luck with him,” he said before slipping away to join the others in the sitting room.
“What…?”
Cassian began striding toward the stairs, still holding you from behind, your feet dangling uselessly above the floor.
“You shouldn't have let your guard down, sweetheart,” he murmured in your ear. “You really thought you could tease me all day and get away with it?”
Azriel. He had distracted you just long enough for Cassian to sneak up behind you.
Cassian set you down on the first step, only to spin you around and scoop you up again. “Now I’ve got you, and you’re not going anywhere. You have a whole day to make up for.”
You wrapped your arms and legs around him as he started up the stairs. A breathless laugh left your lips. “So you’re not mad at me?”
“Worse than that.” He grinned, his hands sliding from your thighs to your ass, squeezing playfully. “I’m touch-starved. So why don’t you start fixing that?”
This time, you obliged him, cupping his face and pressing your lips to his before he even reached your bedroom door.
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venusindelusion · 8 months ago
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Giving In (to the Love): Townie
1st chapter
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SUMMARY: If you thought you had terrible luck before, tonight will definitely prove that your life is jinxed when a misunderstanding with a pink haired girl makes your college life a little more difficult. WC: 1.3K PAIRING: Vi (Arcane) x Fem!Reader WARNINGS/TAGS: MDNI, mentions of alcohol, drugs (weed), underage drinking, miscommunication, and obviously cursing. A/N: I'm currently obsessed with Vi and I need more slow burn fics of her so this is totally self indulgent. Also, english isn't my first language so apologies if there is (surely) any mistakes, please enjoy :) more notes at the end btw Next chapter
The loud music throbbed through the walls, echoing in your head as you were waiting outside the bathroom door. It felt like you've been standing there for ages, waiting for whoever was inside to finally let you have the chance to go to the bathroom. You knock on the door again, awaiting an answer, but all you can hear is the sound of that damn music, so you decide to go downstairs again.
Putting a feet in front of the other feels painfully unnatural, all you want to do is lay down and puke somewhere, but you couldn't find any spot that wasn't crowded and you certainly don't want your classmates seeing you in that state. It would be so embarrassing if someone took a picture of you vomiting the noodles you had for dinner because you were so lazy to cook a proper meal before drinking. Now you regret it.
Once you reach the final step of the stairs, you look for your phone in one of your pockets. It's a good thing you decided to wear cargo pants instead of a dress; otherwise, in your state, you would have lost your purse with your phone and little money with it.
"Why are the letters so tiny?" you tried to text your friend, she brought you here and she should be the one to save you now, "She'll understand," you think as the only word you're able to type and text her is "Out".
Looking around you see some people dancing, couples sticking their bodies together and things getting heated. You can feel your legs trembling a bit, unable to hold your weight much longer, your head spinning and the music painfully penetrating your ears. Your friend is nowhere to be seen and you're getting nautious again, so you decide to walk to the kitchen and get some water.
"Fuck, where is it?" you wander around in this unfamiliar house for what felt like forever until you catch a glance at someone coming out from a room with bottles in her hands. You don't recognize her from class, you would've noticed her peculiar blue hair and long braids, and how she looks a bit younger than you or your classmates. She looks back at you with her eyes wide open like a deer in headlights, then laughs and continues her way to what you presume is the backyard. You figure that if she got alcohol bottles from there, there must be water as well.
"Bingo!" you scream a little louder than you'd like once you cross the door and see the kitchen, walking to the fridge and taking out a bottle of water. You feel your phone vibrating inside your pocket, you take it out and read your friend's "Coming." reply while taking a sip of that sweet and very much needed liquid.
"Fuck!" you spit the remainings of it, feeling your throat burning and your stomach growling even more than before. Who puts vodka inside a water bottle?
You lay against the kitchen counter for a bit in a lame attempt to stay focused, you just have to stay put and wait for your friend to come find you from wherever she was in this damn house.
Determined to not pass out, you go outside following the blue haired girl's trail to get some fresh air. You feel like your head is going to explode, you've been taking for granted your ability to walk without stumbling into things. Your eyes feel heavy, blinking slower everytime as you work your way outside and coordinate your brain and hand to open the door.
It's way less crowded than you thought, only a few people smoking and chatting, you see a couple making out against the wall like no one can see them. But you can. And it's disgusting.
The air is a bit refreshing, definitely better than the smells of heated bodies, booze and weed that filled the house inside. Not that it makes you any less wasted, but it's something. You go around the house trying to find a spot where no one can see you once your stomach decides it can't take it anymore and you see the blue haired girl from before laying down with her eyes closed and empty bottles surrounding her. She's passed out. Walking as quickly as you can to her, you shake her body and try to wake her up. She does nothing besides groaning and mumbling nonsense, so you start to panic and look around you, begging internally that you can find anyone who's more sober than you to help this girl. Your stomach keeps growling at you and your throat burns, tightens, threatening to throw out all the damn booze you drank before. God, what were you thinking?
The world spins around you as you try to focus your vision on this girl and you were right, she is definitely much younger than you, no alcohol should have been near her at first. You reach for her hand, trying to free the bottle from its hold so you can try and sit her up, worried that she'd throw up and drown in her own puke. It takes all your drunk strength to push the bottles around and move her body. While you're grabbing one of the bottles to throw it away, you hear heavy steps coming closer to you and thank the heavens for hearing your pleading; it must be the help you needed.
You turn around and see a muscular figure, heavy boots stomping on the ground with fierce and her pink hair fluorescent in the lights; she looks back at you with a scowl, her hands in fists and quickens her pace. You gulp.
The air around you gets thicker, heavier, hotter; it's like she's inhaling every atom of oxygen while you shrink down to shrump size, getting closer to you as your head is spinning, trying to focus your vision and stand up.
"What the fuck did you do to her?" she asks, her face so close to yours that the air exhaled feels like a shot straight into your face.
You only manage to mumble something incoherent and she pulls you aside, making you stumble over your own feet as she is starring at the bottles.
"She's wasted…" you hear her whispering to herself, scrunching over to caress the younger girl's face and removing the lose hairs from it, "you gave her fucking booze?" she turns around and stares at you, her gaze filled with rage and frustration, you can feel it burning your eyelids.
"No, I—” your brain is betraying you, you put your hands against the wall trying to remain on your feet and explain the situation, but your throat is threatening to let it all out for good.
She clicks her tongue and lifts the young girl from the ground, holding her like she weights nothing on her arms and takes off, leaving you feeling miserable and confused.
You hear a voice calling your name and fast steps approaching, you turn your head and see your friend. Relief washes over your body, your legs no longer able to hold you standing and you give in so you sit on the grass.
"Cait…" were the only words coming out of your mouth in a whisper before you throw out and felt your eyelids closing themselves.
A/N: comments and reviews are appreciated! if you want more let me know :) i have a long series in mind for this
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yerimacoustic · 3 months ago
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𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 ♡ hoshi x reader
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❝ 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙞 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙖 𝙙𝙤 𝙞𝙨 𝙧𝙪𝙣 𝙖𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙚𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙥𝙚 ❞ 𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪
summary : reuniting with old friends can prove to be more complicated than expected, especially when one unexpectedly reveals himself to be a courtier and your love for each other only grew stronger during your separation .
content warnings : courtier!hoshi x servant!female reader, royalty au, regency au, fantasy au, childhood friends to lovers, opposites attract trope, secret dating trope, reader and hoshi are in the twenties, swearing, angst, fluff, LOTS of kissing, extensive lore, kind of a near death encounter, some corruption in the royal court, featuring other members of seventeen & the boyz as well as seulgi and gahyun . not proofread . 17.3k wc .
notes : this is in the same universe as my joshua fic, for the first time, and my jeonghan au, more than expected . i am SO excited about this one, ngl, i started writing it like right after i published jeonghan’s. stay tuned for a possible part 2 of his btw 👀 once again, this is a work of fiction, there’s characters making bad decisions and it doesn’t reflect on how i feel about any of the idols in real life. hope you enjoy!!
after the newly crowned king and queen returned from their honeymoon, news spread throughout the palace that they wished to throw a ball. the rest of the staff, while weary of throwing such a lavish party after a nice week to themselves, followed through with the couple’s request and promptly started planning it. invitations were sent out to royals, meals were planned, and the decorating preparations had already begun. 
as much as you loved working during the parties and experiencing what you could of the extravagance and glamour, obviously you hated setting everything up in the ballroom and taking it down the next day. at least during the actual ball you were able to enjoy the music, admire everyone’s beautiful dresses, maybe sneak a plate of delicious food out to the balcony.. 
luckily you weren’t the only one that shared this sentiment. you and your best friend, seulgi, shared an unfortunate hobby of gossiping whenever you got the chance to clean the same room together. and today you were tasked with cleaning the ballroom before setting up the decorations and fetching the finest porcelain.
while she started stripping the dark red drapes off of the large windows to replace them with gold ones, you scrubbed the floor almost mindlessly. she called out to you and boldly stepped onto the tall ladder, “so…how do you think the honeymoon went?”
you snickered, staring at your reflection on the wet marble floor for a moment. you were always weary about gossiping with her in the spacious ballroom, considering the echoes.. “obviously pretty well, if they’re planning a ball the day after their return.” 
seulgi snickered, “good point.” she let the large drapes fall to the floor, resulting in clouds of dusting forming in the air. luckily she’d grown accustomed to the discomfort and didn’t let out so much as a tiny sneeze. “i heard that prince juyeon and prince jaehyun were invited. they’re so handsome, don’t you think?” 
you shrugged while scrubbing at a few particularly nasty dark scuffs on the marble. “i suppose. although, after hearing all about the ‘swoonworthy juyeon’ i think i’ve become desensitized to the notion of a handsome prince swooping in to save the day.”
“fine, more for me then,” seulgi chuckled and began hanging up the sheer, gold drapes that shone so beautifully in the sunlight. she would have stopped to admire her work if she wasn’t determined to get it all over with. “you’re probably more excited to eavesdrop on the nobles’ conversations, anyways.”
your cheeks heated up at her well-intended teasing. “only so we can enjoy these moments together. now keep your voice down, i thought i heard footsteps outside.” 
seulgi smirked to herself before following through with your request.. at least for a few more minutes. once all of the windows were adorned with beautifully crafted golden curtains, she knelt down next to you under the guise of helping you clean the floor. “have you heard why they might be throwing the ball?”
once you dipped the rag into the bucket of soapy water, your friend promptly snatched it out of your hands. you let out a short scoff in protest, your efforts of stealing it back from her proving to be fruitless.. “seulgi, i’m trying to-”
unfortunately, your best friend had a very contagious laughter and it wasn’t too long before giggles filled the ballroom, echoing off the walls. “someone said it's probably because they’re expecti-”
the door clicked open and you bit your tongue to prevent a shriek from escaping your lips. seulgi dropped the rag and you promptly picked it up, scrubbing the floor with as much efficiency as you could muster in the moment. seulgi panicked and rushed towards the pile of dirty curtains across the room, making it just in time for the king and his steward to walk in.
“oh good,” seungkwan beamed. “the two of you are making great time.”
you nodded and rose to your feet, stumbling over them as you curtsied. “your highness.” seulgi mirrored your actions, smiling in the young king’s direction. 
jeonghan nodded politely towards you both, his eyes scanning the spacious room before him. there was a distinct twinkle within his dark irises and something told you that it had nothing to do with the clean space before him.. “i’ll say. thank you both, the queen and i appreciate your efforts.”
you had to hold back a chuckle; honestly the two of you hadn’t gotten much work done yet. something about jeonghan’s heightened cheerfulness was suspicious. maybe seulgi’s theory had a hint of truth to it.. “thank you, your majesty,” you told him politely.
“don’t forget to display the finest porcelain sets. i’m sure we have something that matches the curtains perfectly,” jeonghan added just before turning his back on the two of you. 
“of course,” seulgi nodded. although, the two of you were confused; normally jeonghan couldn’t be bothered to be so involved in something as trivial as party planning. but he seemed so joyful with his request; it was..odd, to say the least. then again, maybe you were overthinking it.. 
seungkwan followed closely behind jeonghan, though he made an effort to look at the two of you with comically raised eyebrows just before shutting the door. your heart sank as suspicion clouded your mind; had the two of them heard everything? seulgi, however, took the opposite approach and ran to you, grabbing your hand. 
“see? i was right,” she beamed.
you laughed incredulously, though you couldn’t bring yourself to push seulgi’s hand away. “how can we know anything from barely even a five minute encounter?” 
seulgi snickered, “come on, y/n. there’s no denying that things are looking up around here again. have a little faith.”
“maybe.” another chuckle fell from your lips before your gaze fell to the newly polished floor, where distinct footprints in the water had already begun to trail towards the door. on any other occasion, you would’ve fought back a remark of annoyance, but something about seulgi’s words prevented you from even formulating one.  
—--------------
the ballroom was possibly the most crowded it had ever been the night of the party. it was difficult to make your rounds throughout the room while feeling forced to carry the tray full of champagne flutes so close to your chest. the last thing you wanted was to drop the expensive glass all over the floor; the results could have been catastrophic even without such a large crowd surrounding you.
you recognized a few of the guests, namely a few that had attended several of the family’s past parties. prince juyeon was in attendance, of course, turning several heads from the moment he entered the palace. princess yoohyeon, who looked as stunning as ever, walked along the dance floor with the utmost grace and poise. the atmosphere was bright and cheerful, as per usual, but something about this night seemed different from the rest. you couldn’t put your finger on it. 
after the tray was nearly empty and you felt deserving of a break, you crossed to the back of the room. seulgi and gahyun stood with their backs against the wall, their emptied trays displayed on one of the nearest tables. you sighed heavily upon setting yours down and ensuring the flutes were secure, “what a turnout.”
“you’re telling me,” gahyun snickered. you followed her gaze to the crowd ahead until you, too, caught a glance of the queen. gahyun always seemed to be on her guard in case the queen needed anything. almost to a fault, actually. even as she took five minutes for herself, her figure appeared to be quite stiff.
seulgi said nothing, a small smile tugging at the one corner of her lips as she gazed at the couples near the center of the room. she even shifted her weight from one foot to the other on occasion, vaguely appearing to sway to the music. not that you could blame her, of course.
“what are you three doing?” a hushed voice from your left reprimanded. you were startled to say the least, jolted off of the wall before you whipped your head back to see sangyeon with a distasteful expression. 
you were the first to apologize, your expression much too sincere for seulgi’s liking. “sorry. we were just-”
“it’s impossible to move out there,” seulgi interjected while making no attempt to disguise her annoyance. “everyone’s shoulder to shoulder, i’m surprised they’re even able to breathe!”
sangyeon clearly had no interest in entertaining seulgi’s complaint. he simply shook his head, his dark hair slightly bouncing with the movement. “even so, you’ve been tasked with accommodating our guests to the best of your ability. now, move along.”
the three of you shared a reluctant glance before refilling your trays. before you could follow the two girls to the dance floor, however, sangyeon called out to you in his characteristically gentle tone, “not you. they require libations in the library.”
the library?
“yes, sangyeon.” with a dismissive nod, you took your time exiting the ballroom and searching for the library. the orchestra’s beautiful music muffled the further you stepped into the hallway and was promptly replaced by much quieter conversations behind the heavy library doors. 
as expected, the guests seemed more excited at the notion of the drinks’ arrival than yours. most of the glasses were gone before you’d taken more than five steps into the room. you made your rounds regardless, stealing a few quick glances at the card tables. you might have been more compelled to watch a round or two if you had any interest in poker.
seated on the plush red furniture near the corner of the room was a small group of men, a few of them standing and effectively concealing the back of an armchair. you cleared your throat before plucking up the courage to approach them, timidly standing behind a few of the much taller men. “champagne, anyone?”
perhaps the tallest duo of the group, wonwoo and mingyu, turned to face you and relieved you of a glass. the way they moved in perfect synchronization was almost alarming… then someone sitting with their back towards you slapped his own knees rather dramatically before he braced off of his chair, stepping through the awkward space between sofas to stand in front of you.
the man’s hand froze near one of the glasses once the two of you made eye contact, however, a flustered expression taking over his features. somehow, you spoke before he could, your tone low but bewildered. “soonyoung…?”
“oh my..” he paused, his eyes growing wide as saucers before you could even blink. suddenly, it dawned on him. “y/n?? is it really you??”
“yes,” you laughed incredulously, the tray in your hands briefly shaking with the impact. “yes it’s really me.”
soonyoung beamed and you could have sworn it lit up the entire room. “i- this is ludicrous! what are you doing here?? how have i never seen you in the palace??”
you shrugged, minding the flutes in your hands, and bashfully replied, “not very observant.. i guess?”     
he laughed, flashing another infectious smile. until that moment, you’d never fully realized just how much you’d missed his energetic grins. “well i guess not. i’ve been with the royal court for, uh- almost a full year now. i think. what a shame.”
“on the bright side, now we both know to keep an eye out for each other,” you offered with a tilt of your head. 
while you kept his colleagues and friends behind him in mind and spoke in a low, almost timid tone, he seemed to forget all about them. not that it surprised you, of course; conventional propriety wasn’t always his strong suit. “you’re exactly right,” he nodded rather quickly. “wow. it’s been too long. you’ve changed so much! your hair’s so much longer now.”
you chuckled to yourself, looking down at the uniform you wore strictly for special occasions within the palace walls. even your finest rags couldn’t compare to soonyoung’s beautifully crafted robes; if anything, he was the one who’d changed. 
but for some reason, you had a feeling soonyoung spoke with such heartfelt honesty when he complimented you. just as he always did. “you look..” you paused, just before giving your oldest friend the same treatment. “pretty much exactly the same.”
he laughed once again, startling one of the men behind him. a distinct shiver rushed down your spine when his hand briefly made contact with your elbow, the fleeting contact bringing heat to your cheeks. “i hope that’s a good thing. listen.. why don’t we catch up? i’m in line for the next round of poker, would you play with me?”
you parted your lips just moments before your gaze fell to the table and a crushing realization hit you. “as..tempting as that sounds,” you faced him with an apologetic smile. “i really should get back to work.”
soonyoung nodded immediately in understanding, the disappointment disappearing from his irises in the blink of an eye. “right. right, yeah of course. i’ll see you around. don’t be a stranger, alright?”  
“of course. i’ll keep an eye out for you around the castle,” you promised, albeit a little emptily. the chances of mingling with soonyoung as you so often used to were low, you knew that well.
even so.. the smile that he bid you goodbye with was just too charming to ignore. he really hadn’t changed.
—----------------------------------------------
your reunion with soonyoung put a spring in your step, even hours after the party had died down and you were stuck in the kitchen, cleaning all of the dishes. seulgi joined you not too long after disposing of the table scraps and gathering the remaining champagne flutes. “what a night,” she sighed loudly, her shoulder brushing against yours as she began to assist you in cleaning. 
“where’s gahyun?” you asked.
“she’s with her majesty,” she replied emotionlessly. “it would’ve been nice to have at least one more person in here.”
“never mind that, i’m glad it’s just the two of us,” you beamed, keeping a low tone as you spoke. “can..i confide in you?”   
seulgi’s hand briefly came to a stop, her plate only halfway dried. she didn’t have to say too much to convey her intrigue upon hearing your words. “always.”
you grinned, admiring your friend’s penchant for gossip. maybe it was out of bashfulness or determination to get all of your work done, but you barely looked up from the dirty sink water as you spoke. “i..reunited with someone today.”
her eyebrows shot up. it took her a moment to follow in your footsteps and continue drying the dishes. “with who?”
“this..old friend i had,” you started. “his name’s soonyoung. he’s in the royal court.”
“the royal court?” she repeated incredulously. “you mean to tell me you’ve been friends with someone in the royal court all this time and have only just now realized?” 
you shrugged again, laughing quietly at the absurdity of it all. “neither of us could really believe it either.”
“well,” she stopped wiping the porcelain in favor of leaning against the countertop with her arms folded across her chest. she stared at you in a concentrative gaze, clearly invested now. “tell me more about this soonyoung.”
you paused, a short chuckle leaving your lips and signalling your confusion. “what would you have me tell you?”
seulgi let out a dramatic groan of annoyance before swatting lightly at your elbow, which you knew was all in good fun. “come on, everything! the beginning is always a great place to start, you know.”
against your better judgement, you stopped working in favor of mirroring her position and leaning against the sink. stealing a quick glance out the kitchen window, you realized just how late it must have been.. and yet you didn’t even feel tired. with that being said, it took everything to disguise the excitement in your voice as you spoke,
“well.. my mother raised me near the river, it’s quite far from here. one day i was skating on the ice, trying to see all of the rocks shining brightly on the streambed several feet below. i was kneeling near the center of the river, horrible idea i know, when suddenly a boy with spiky hair and a red scarf stumbles next to me without any skates on and asks why i’m staring at the ice. as it turned out, his mother and mine were inside sewing together after having just met. and..as they spent more time together, so did soonyoung and i.
“we did everything together. for almost our entire childhood, we were inseparable. then.. one day, he came into a great fortune. his uncle left him his estate, his money- everything. he and his mother moved far away not long after that. it.. hurt. really, really badly. he was my best friend. but i got over it eventually.” 
seulgi nodded and offered you a sad, sympathetic smile. it was hardly necessary in your mind, of course. “well.. you’re together now,” she finally spoke after a moment of silence, as if she was contemplating the beautifully tragic story of yours. “you have the perfect opportunity to rekindle your relationship.”
you nodded with the same dismissive air you held near soonyoung just hours earlier. you had unfortunately learned a long time ago not to get your hopes up, lest they be dashed in almost every instance imaginable. the mere fact that the two of you had taken this long to reunite, after only being separated by a few walls and staircases, told you everything you needed to know: too much had changed. the difference in either of your social standings was much more distinguishable. 
“i suppose you’re right.” you broke away from the sink, placing stacks upon stacks of saucers, plates and cups in their respective spots in the cupboards. seulgi, noticing your deflection, said nothing and followed in your footsteps. she didn’t have to say anything to convey her persistence, however- you were certain this wasn’t the last time you would hear from her concerning the matter of kwon soonyoung. 
—---------------
meetings with the other courtiers, more often than not, had the tendency to drag on much longer than was necessary. after the king and queen returned from their honeymoon, soonyoung fully expected the meetings to be extended much longer, much to his chagrin. they had a lot of ground to cover, seeing that the monarchs had obviously been unable to attend a lot of informative meetings. 
on any other given occasion, soonyoung would have forced himself to almost perform to the best of his ability. he would have put his head down and powered through all of his paperwork, the speeches and seemingly endless debates, smiled and nodded with the guise of pretending to know what everyone else was talking about. but..that day he simply felt that his heart wasn’t in it. 
he sat in his assigned seat, sandwiched between wonwoo and mingyu, with his shoulders hunched over in a less than courteous countenance and his chin lowered. he’d almost brushed all of the barbs of his feathered quill seemingly dipped in a pool of amethyst into a satisfying pattern before a loud cough near his ear startled him. he whipped his head up, immediately face to face with jihoon. 
the highest official of the royal court, although being a much kinder man outside of the great hall, intimidated soonyoung more than the latter would have liked to admit. he stood before the pew with an expectant look, the all too familiar look of annoyance in his eyes. “anything to add, soonyoung?” 
soonyoung looked slowly to his colleagues on the left with wide, somewhat pleading eyes, and then to the right. when it became clear that no one was to jump into the treacherous waters and save him, he faced jihoon with a sheepish grin, “oh..yes. yes, absolutely. we should-” he paused, expertly flipping through the stacks of parchment before reading from the expert cursive, “introduce the court to the land proposition-”
jihoon pulled away with a heavy sigh, which was as deliberate as it was short lived. soonyoung knew all too well it was the best he could do to keep the lid on the cauldron before everything boiled over and made a mess. mingyu, having to disguise an ill-timed snicker as a cough, promptly elbowed soonyoung in the side and muttered, “well done.”
“thanks,” soonyoung replied hastily. 
“soonyoung-” jihoon started in a much louder tone, startling the man and prompting him to sit in a proper position. he pulled out a larger piece of parchment and the entire court stared in intrigue at the charcoal drawing of what appeared to be a gem, an unmistakable aura emulating from the stone. it looked so familiar… “do you know what these are?” 
soonyoung racked his brain, a hum of concentration falling from his lips. “um..no, i can’t say i do.”
jihoon didn’t appear surprised or even somewhat fazed by his words. he started, “these are moonstones. legend has it that they contain a very powerful magic and anyone who is in possession of them is gifted with extraordinary abilities.” he paused, turning to the king and queen. “we need to find them. your highness, imagine the possibilities-”
jeonghan finally spoke, raising an eyebrow. “and what exactly do you propose?”
“we need to find them by the next full moon,” jihoon explained. “if anyone knew what power we possessed, wh-”
jeonghan cut him off in an effortless, cool tone with a seemingly bored countenance. “they wouldn’t be able to say no to trading or alliances?” he paused, shaking his head, but would not outwardly showcase his disappointment. “by using force, essentially.. that is not how you make allies or friends, for that matter, jihoon. we wouldn’t be respected, we would be feared.”
wonwoo rose to his feet, his shoulder brushing against soonyoung’s with the movement. “i’m sure jihoon has the best intentions, your highness. we need to face the facts.. our kingdom isn’t what it used to be. land management is in a rapid decline, morale is at an all time low.. we need more capital.”
“we’ll find another way,” jeonghan stated lowly, seemingly unbothered. “let’s move on.”
soonyoung could only watch the scene play out before him with an incredulous expression. he’d witnessed many arguments within the great hall, both courteous and otherwise… something told him that the stakes had since been raised. maybe he’d chosen the wrong day to pay less attention (or frankly, no attention at all) during a parliament meeting. 
something etched at his heart, something he wouldn’t soon forget. it resembled.. hopelessness. there were plenty of days where he found himself questioning his capability in his inherited position as a courtier.. suddenly, he was wishing for this day to be over.   
his wish came true within the hour; although, he remained seated as the sound of lazy footsteps and rustling papers echoed through the air. he ignored a haughty remark from mingyu, who departed from the great hall in a timely manner with wonwoo practically attached at his hip. soonyoung returned to his slumped seated position, his chin falling into his palm. 
what just happened..? 
he must have voiced his confusion out loud, for the tiniest chuckle sounded from the furthest corner in the room. he tilted his head to see you standing with a feather duster in one hand and a bucket of soapy water in the other. suddenly..he felt lighter than air. he straightened out his shoulders with a broad smile, feeling as if he could have flown off of his seat.
he ignored your apologetic remark, chuckling happily, “fancy seeing you here.”
you walked towards him with timid steps, keeping your eyes peeled for any intruders as you approached the pews. you spoke with such a quiet, soft voice that made soonyoung’s heart flutter, “it’s normally yunjin cleaning this room after the meetings. something came up so i took on all of her work.”
soonyoung’s eyes narrowed, “so you’re doing twice as much work today?” you nodded, unintentionally pulling a sigh of forlorn from him. “absolutely shameful. this should not be allowed.”
you laughed quietly, very quietly, at his effortlessly comedic tone. “her mother’s fallen ill,” you explained. “i did what anyone else would have done.”
“yes, but no one else did. that’s what matters,” soonyoung looked up to you with a dazzling smile, one that you hadn’t forgotten even since you’d been forced apart. one that you’d missed so terribly. “you work so hard. do you get a break any time soon?”
you shook your head without an ounce of self pity, “no.”
his smile quickly faded, his eyebrows furrowed. “no??”  
you laughed again, just barely louder this time, as you still held onto the fear that anyone could walk in and interrupt the two of you. “really- i don’t mind it so much. it keeps my mind off things.”
soonyoung tilted his head, pondering your words and seemingly placing himself in your shoes. truthfully, he wished he could have some sort of outlet to escape his own thoughts, even if it was something as boring as cleaning. “in that case..can i help you?” he asked.
you paused, scoffing without any malice. “you’re serious?” when he, without any hesitation, nodded, you scoffed again. “you don’t have anywhere to go?”
“i do,” he shrugged. “but i’d rather be with you.”
you paused, his words, his tone, the look in his eyes that further cemented the genuineness in his words, all of it echoing in your mind until it grew fuzzy. you must have looked like an idiot, standing as stiff as a board with your softened gaze. “uh-” you started, looking down at your hands. “i only have one rag-”
“that’s fine.” without so much as a warning he plucked the rag from your hands and stepping off of the pew, dropping to his knees and landing near your feet. he needed no invitation, no command, to start scrubbing the cracks in the tile. for a moment you could only stand still in disbelief, watching him make no attempt to prevent his beautiful robes from getting dirty.  
he cleaned the floor with such deliberation, his arms practically a blur as he scrubbed in hurried back and forth motions. after snapping out of your amused bewilderment, you approached the thrones and began to swat at the tiny cobwebs with the feather duster. for a moment, both of you cleaned in silence, merely enjoying each other’s company under less than ideal circumstances. 
you kept to yourself for a moment, trying to stay out of his way for more than one reason. a glance would be sent towards the large door across the room now and then, the fear of being caught with someone above your station firmly planted in the front of your mind. it was bad enough for the two of you to be caught in such casual conversation, it was another thing entirely to be cleaning together.
once he reached the center of the floor, he took a break in favor of wiping dramatically at his brow. his loud sigh of exhaustion filled the room, prompting you to snicker. “wow. i don’t know how you do this all day,” he remarked before bending over the floor once again. 
you paused, biting back a smile while letting the feathers dance across the large window of stained glass. shadows of blue and pink danced across the floor and even soonyoung’s figure. “you get used to it, i suppose,” you shrugged. “but it might help if you didn’t move your arms so aggressively.”
he snickered, stopping his ministrations immediately. “right.. well, how do you do it?”
you glanced back towards the window, which was clean enough by your standards, and stepped towards him. after crouching down onto your aching knees, you watched him dip the rag into the warm water and wring it out a few times for good measure before placing his hand flat upon the floor again. “like this-” 
casting all of your fears and judgements to the side, you placed your palm above his, both your fingers just barely lacing while prompting his hand to move a bit softer along the tile. the two of you moved the rag in smooth, circular motions for a moment before soonyoung stopped dead in his tracks, keeping his hand firmly in place. you parted your lips, about to protest before lifting your head up to see him staring with a helpless smile.
it took him a moment to compose himself, gather his thoughts, finding your eyes to be just too magnetizing. “sorry,” he snickered loudly, though it didn’t startle you in the slightest.
“why are you apologizing?” you asked quietly. 
“i’m probably not making your work go by any faster,” he spoke in a much slower tone than you were used to hearing from him. 
“oh,” you chuckled with your realization, taking a look behind you at the wet floor, then in front of you, towards the surfaces that had yet to be cleaned. yet.. somehow you felt no ounce of dread. “i’m in good company. i can’t really complain.” you mentally berated yourself for allowing such a risky statement to leave your lips. as great as your company was, it wasn’t allowed. the two of you knew that well, there was no sense voicing your anxieties to him.   
however, if soonyoung had any anxieties, they were nowhere to be seen. he moved his free hand to brush through a lock of your hair, effectively tucking it behind your ear and keeping it out of your line of vision. as if that action wasn’t enough to prompt butterflies to take flight in your stomach, he beamed, “i’ve always loved your hair.”
you sat on your knees, still as a statue, as a flustered smile tugged at your lips. he must have noticed your lack of composition, for he laughed, the beautiful sound filling the air of the otherwise achingly quiet room. “i’ve always loved yours,” you tilted your head towards the messy dark strands in question, chuckling.
“really?” he let out another laugh, one you found infectious. it wasn’t long before the two of you were sharing hushed giggles and you found yourself leaning into him. as your cheek made brief contact with his shoulder, you came to realize that his robes were much softer than you’d imagined. spun from the finest silk, no doubt.
“really,” you repeated through a short chuckle, composing yourself enough to break apart from him and meet his gaze again. you watched him part his lips, and somehow you knew he was just dying to tell you something but wasn’t equipped with the right words to do so. before you could prompt him to go on, say whatever was on his mind without any consequence, a loud, unexpected click echoed across the room. 
just as you stumbled away from him and snatched the rag from his hands, jihoon exclaimed, “soonyoung! what is the meaning of this?”
soonyoung was quick to rise to his feet and dust off his dark robes. “i was just hel-”
“no excuses,” his voice boomed. you didn’t dare to pull your gaze away from the floor as you scrubbed the tile like you never had before, moving much more efficiently towards the other side of the room. if you had to guess, he was glaring daggers at the other man. “show some refinement. the others are waiting for you in the library.”
the library… oh god. soonyoung awkwardly shuffled towards his seat, hurriedly grabbing his notes and quill. he was, at the very least, grateful that he’d screwed the bottle of ink shut before lifting it off the table. “oh- yeah, my apologies. i’ll be right there.”
jihoon, however, did not leave the room as the two of you had expected him to. soonyoung clenched his jaw and mentally cursed; he’d wished for the opportunity to apologize to you, maybe ask if he could see you again.. but there was no chance for him to do so. perhaps jihoon had made sure of that. instead, he could only mouth an apology to you before stumbling towards his superior, who motioned him promptly out of the room.
once the loud click sounded through the room once more, you halted your scrubbing. there was no way of knowing what jihoon suspected you of doing. for whatever reason, that was much more terrifying than knowing what the highest official of the royal court, the man with more influence and power than you could ever dream of possessing, had in store.
—-------------------------------
soonyoung had known fully well what was so urgent in the library that jihoon had bursted through the door to drag him towards the room in question. although something deep within him knew that these secret meetings were less than ideal, less than legal, perhaps, he couldn’t bring himself to protest. therefore, jihoon kept a stern grip on his arm as he led him through the wide hallway. 
“frankly, i don’t see what all the fuss is about,” he argued in a casual tone. “the king and queen have turned in for the night. why can’t we?”
“it’s not even dinner time yet, soonyoung,” jihoon bit back, the annoyance in his voice practically tangible. “shall i purchase you a pocketwatch?” 
soonyoung shrugged, as if to sincerely compliment the man’s offer. “may actually do me well.” he paused, offering jihoon a sheepish grin. “look.. i’m sorry. i forgot.”
jihoon pressed his lips to a thin line, allowing a sigh to escape from his nostrils. “don’t apologize. just pay attention in this next meeting, i beg of you.” 
soonyoung furrowed his eyebrows, taking offense from the other man’s words. “what?? i do pay attention.”
jihoon snickered, “keep telling yourself that.”
although the library was one of the more spacious rooms in the palace, the members of the court were packed inside like sardines. they whispered amongst each other, breaking apart in a comedic fashion once soonyoung pushed the door open. their subject of conversation wasn’t lost on soonyoung; he knew fully well they were talking about him. but he didn’t care.
soonyoung’s colleagues were not the only ones enjoying the spacious library while making sure to keep quiet. a few men that he didn’t recognize were scattered throughout the room, examining the royals’ impressive collection of books. he furrowed his eyebrows- this was definitely new. “jihoon-” he started. “who’s-”
“now we can finally get started,” jihoon announced, standing before everyone in the room with an effortlessly confident and authoritative air. “i wanted to introduce sunwoo, eric, and younghoon. they’re from the western kingdom. and- well, you already know prince juyeon.”
what in the world.. 
“we appreciate you taking the time to meet with us,” jihoon stated, plastering a quick, somewhat manufactured smile of gratitude upon his lips. he pulled out the same drawing of the moonstone he’d displayed just an hour earlier and soonyoung’s mind went fuzzy. “according to legend…”
soonyoung furrowed his eyebrows, feeling as if he could wilt like a dying flower. he had always looked up to jihoon. he’d always admired his drive, his dedication. but somehow.. somehow he’d found a way to rid himself of all his good intentions and allow brashness and arrogance to take over. it felt untoward. it felt corrupt. 
what prompted the sickening feeling in his stomach was the fact that none of his colleagues, none of the men he considered friends, batted an eye. truthfully, for a time, neither had soonyoung, himself. in his defense, every secret meeting before this one seemed so innocent.
“i don’t understand,” prince juyeon spoke, pulling soonyoung out of his daze. for a moment, he held onto the smallest light of hope, suspecting the prince of being just as skeptical. his hopes were soon dashed when the prince sat more comfortably upon the plush red chair, his chin falling to his palm before he spoke, “you would risk going behind your king’s back, putting all your faith, all your kingdom’s resources, towards a mere legend? towards hearsay?” 
“that’s exactly why we’re not using all of the kingdom’s resources to find these relics.” jihoon turned around, facing soonyoung with an expectant glance. “soonyoung will go. alone.”
“what?!” not for the first time that day, soonyoung wished he’d elected to pay more attention. to put his best foot forward, to put his head down and power through the inconvenience of a work meeting. really, to put on a performance.    
mingyu chimed in from the back of the room, a slightly malicious scoff leaving his lips, “you’re the director of land management, are you not? you should know the kingdom better than anyone.”
“but-” soonyoung started, his gaze shifting towards every direction in the room until he caught another glance of the stupid drawing in jihoon’s hand. once again, he was met with a strange feeling of familiarity.. he could have sworn he’d seen those strange looking rocks before. surely he would have remembered if he’d come across an apparently all powerful stone before, right? “jihoon- i can’t.”
the man in question furrowed his eyebrows, the worst form of disappointment within his countenance. “and why ever not?”
“it’s..” he paused, taking a look around the room once more in desperate search for a hand. for anyone, anyone, even his new supposed ‘friends’ from the other kingdom to chime in and agree with him. for anyone other than himself to provide a much needed voice of reason. but it never happened. “it’s..wrong. we can’t just go behind jeonghan’s back like this. don’t you think his kingdom’s already been met with enough scandals?”
jihoon seemed temporarily amused by his words. “jeonghan is.. inexperienced. if you remember, soonyoung, he wasn’t even supposed to lead.” he turned around, facing the only portrait of the entire royal family left in the castle. the eldest sister in question sat next to jeonghan with a warm smile; even a replica of her expression lit up the room. “he doesn’t know what’s best for the kingdom. i think that much is becoming increasingly clear.”
soonyoung scoffed, disbelief taking over his features. “be that as it may, he’s still the king. he still has authority over you.”
“and i still have authority over you,” jihoon stated calmly. “i think you, of all people, should be wary of keeping inexperienced voices silent.”
the aching in soonyoung’s heart returned, jihoon’s harsh words striking a tender chord. while he had not always voiced his insecurities that came with inheriting his uncle’s place in the royal court, he believed that his actions spoke louder than words more often than not. to hear such berating words come from someone that he considered a good friend startled him more than potential consequences for treason.
which was worse? betraying the king who’d always shown him respect, or betraying his direct superior, who perhaps, held even more authority over him? who had much more influence over him, his very way of living?
“so then it’s settled,” jihoon finally stated, his gaze breaking away from soonyoung. “once soonyoung finds a generous amount of the gems, prince juyeon and his entourage are entitled to half the capital.”
“half?” wonwoo asked incredulously. “half? it’s soonyoung doing all the work. i say they get a third.”
younghoon, the man who presumably held a similar position to jihoon, snorted, “do you want the reinforcements or not?” such a short but deliberate statement on the other man’s behalf forced soonyoung to gulp, the queasy sensation in his stomach returning. 
reinforcements?
—-----------------------
as much as you loved working with seulgi, there were plenty of times you enjoyed cleaning in silence. sometimes it was quite relaxing to work on your own, to get lost in your thoughts and even hum a quiet tune while tidying the second and third floor of the palace to perfection. more often than not, being alone allowed you to get all of your chores done in a much more timely manner.
you sat on the balcony, cross legged, with your back against the cold bricks of the castle. you released a deep breath you’d seemed to be holding throughout the entire day, staring at the gray clouds above you. they stirred within their positions in the sky, as if to settle comfortably after a long day, just as you were doing.  
while staring at your palms, you imagined the presence of soonyoung’s hands below them, the feeling practically imprinted within your skin after several days. you ached for another fleeting encounter with him, even just a quick look into his warm, friendly eyes or a brush of his hand against yours. he possessed every thought of yours throughout the day, his laugh and his smile echoed throughout your mind.. 
you had no other way to describe these feelings besides intense, restless, awfully embarrassing yearning. but for what? that was the million dollar question, it seemed.
footsteps sounded behind the french doors and for a moment, you wondered if seulgi had finally found you. however, you were quickly proved wrong when the man of the hour stepped onto the balcony, his eyes immediately finding yours as an apologetic frown surfaced. “oh, i’m sorry-”
“no,” you protested a little too quickly. “it’s alright, i was just leaving.”
he watched as you rose to your feet, brushing the dust off of your skirts, and his gaze immediately softened, “no, please- you don’t have to go.” before you could protest, however, he chuckled, “actually, i would love someone to talk to right now.”
you looked towards the large doors, clouded by thick curtains on the other side of the windows. at least if anyone would think to look for either of you on the third level of the palace, the fabric was thick enough to cover your shadows. and it was getting dark out.. “alright.” with a small chuckle, you sat on the ground and returned to your comfortable position once more.
soonyoung sat next to you, right next to you, his shoulder and knee pressing against yours as he leaned back against the wall with a heavy sigh. he sat with his legs crossed, staring up at the clouds as if to search intently for any compelling patterns. after a pause of silence, he chuckled, “this is just like old times, isn’t it?”
you chuckled soon after, briefly remembering a summer where the two of you spent the majority of your shared time laying on the grass, staring up at the sky and trying to find patterns within the clouds. “mhm,” you hummed. 
“oh, look! that one’s a teddy bear,” he remarked, pointing towards the graying cloud in question. another chuckle escaped from your lips; he was right, the stormcloud vaguely resembled a stuffed animal. “really nice..”
“indeed,” you chuckled again, unsure of what else to say. inwardly, you berated yourself again- why was it so difficult speaking with him? “sorry..if i got you in trouble the other day.”
he was quick to brush off your apology, shaking his head. “don’t worry about it. you didn’t know.”
you nodded stiffly. of course, you had no way of knowing for certain that jihoon would burst through the door.. but you had your suspicions. as you always did. “you didn’t..get in too much trouble with him, did you?”
“oh. no, don’t even worry about it,” he waved his hand dismissively, snickering soon after. “even jihoon can’t stay mad at me for that long. everything’s fine, i promise.”
you smiled to yourself; honestly, you weren’t sure how anyone could stay mad at soonyoung for too long. not that you would voice that out loud.. “well..i’m glad to hear it.” a sigh fell from your lips before you looked down at your lap and began to tug at a loose thread on your skirt. you needed a new dress, that much was for certain.. but the last thing you wanted was to risk misplacing any funds you worked so hard for.
soonyoung smiled to himself, his gaze shifting to your hands. he soon remembered how it felt holding onto them and wished he could pluck up the courage to take them in his own. instead, he let his arms relax lazily by his sides as he watched you play with the threads of your worn dress. “i have a proposition for you.”
you lifted up your chin to meet his gaze, finding his lips too close to your own for comfort. “and what would that be?” 
he made no effort to break away from you, however, clearly enjoying the nonexistent space between the two of you. hope rang throughout his voice as he beamed, clearly trying to contain his excitement, “there’s a fair coming to town once the snow melts. we should go together.”       
for a moment, your heart swelled upon hearing his invitation. an outing with soonyoung, after far too much time apart, sounded absolutely heavenly. then..why were you hesitating? “oh..soonyoung-” you paused, prompting the man to the edge of his seat, so to speak. you hated to shut him down, even with such a gentle tone, “i’m..not so sure that’s a good idea.”
“why ever not?” he asked, eyebrows furrowed as his voice laced with sympathy. clearly, he wasn’t taking much offense by your words; in fact, it seemed more like he was saddened by the melancholy within your own voice. 
“i-” you started, swallowing heavily. “i just don’t want anyone to get the wrong impression.”  
he laughed, albeit a bit sadly. but he continued, “how do you mean?”
you furrowed your eyebrows, your heart shattering as you struggled to grapple with the gravity of your own words. you kept your tone low, afraid of executing them terribly, “it’s just..you’re a courtier. i’m a servant. we..shouldn’t even be in the same room together, unless-” you stopped yourself, hoping he could deduce the rest.
“but we’re friends!” he stated, hoping to cheer you up with his familiar crooked smile. “we have been for a long time. i don’t think status should change that.”
“yes, but-” you paused, once again staring down at your lap in embarrassment. even if it was soonyoung staring at the small holes forming in your skirt, you were horrified. especially when he was the spitting image of royalty sitting next to you. “none of them know that.”
“do you want me to tell them?” he teased, nudging your shoulder with his own. 
you chuckled, much to your own dismay, and briefly decided to humor him. “if you really want to.”
“i do.” after finally finding the courage within himself, he carefully lifted your hand off your knee in favor of grasping gently onto your palm. he allowed your joined hands to rest near his own knee, allowing you one more feel for his achingly soft robes.. “i want everyone to know how important you are to me.”
your heart fluttered upon hearing his words. he knew all the right words to say to make you feel flustered, discomposed, even, years later. “actually-” you started, your chest already stiffening with the difficult confession. “i think.. i think it would be better if-”
“shhh…” he snickered, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. as much as you fought it, you couldn’t prevent a smile from twisting at your lips. “can we just- forget about all of them for a moment?”
“very well,” you sighed in defeat, allowing yourself to rest your head upon his shoulder. in less than a breath, his cheek rested gently upon the top of your head and his eyes were shut. you wished you were able to relax as quickly as he could; your chest felt stiff and your eyes refused to shut completely for even a moment. you remembered all too well how sick you felt when jihoon walked in on your perfectly innocent encounter..
you envied soonyoung, for he seemed to forget all about the negative and scary aspects of it. he focused only on the way you made him feel, the way you brought him comfort when he needed it the most. he didn’t seem fazed by the fact someone could walk out there at any given moment. but that was how the two of you had always been: soonyoung, zestful and fearless, and you, quiet and level-headed.
the clouds darkened above the two of you, but neither of you stirred. it felt melancholic, the way the two of you sat underneath the storming sky in quiet and unbothered contemplation. even when the snow began to fall, soonyoung only snickered and tilted his head up towards the sky again. “i’ve missed the snow.”  
“me too,” you admitted. “i remember when we’d go ice skating-”
“and make snow angels,” he finished, excitement filling his tone one more as he lifted his head from yours. 
you lifted your head from his shoulder, your eyes soon finding his. “i can’t believe you remembered that.” 
“of course i remembered,” he snickered. “i remembered everything.” once again, the fact that he could laugh as if he hadn’t delivered one of the most beautiful, heartfelt sentiments just moments before astounded you. “i remember your snow angels were always so much more beautiful than mine. somehow.” 
you nodded, returning the quiet laugh, “there’s a technique to it.”
“and yet you never taught it to me.”
“there’s still time,” you whispered, unable and unwilling to hold yourself back from doing so. you knew better than to feel so hopeful..still. whether it was to reassure yourself or soonyoung, you weren’t entirely sure. but you tried to stop overthinking it the moment you saw the look of pure adoration in his eyes.
the delicate snowflakes fell in such a beautiful coordinated dance around the two of you. one fell on his shoulder, allowing you a peek of the crystalized detailing before it melted away. soonyoung laughed softly in amusement as they fell into your hair, nearly covering the strands before promptly dissolving. you snickered as the powdery flakes gave his messy hair the same treatment and moved a timid hand to brush some of them away. 
he moved a hand to cup your shoulder, making no attempt to swat your hand away from his hair, however. neither of you spoke, staring helplessly at each other through the peaceful snowfall. he leaned in slowly, you did the same, and before you could catch your breath his lips were on yours. he was gentle but assertive. he kissed you with confidence; he knew what he’d wanted from the moment he reunited with you. and of course, you moved your lips with his in a softspoken but self-assured dance. suddenly it was as if all of your worries and hesitancy had melted away.
you were the first to pull away, your lips only a breath away from his once you found the courage to do so. there was so much you wanted to tell him about how you’d missed him terribly, how you never truly forgot about the way he made you feel.. yet it all remained on the tip of your tongue.
he opted to speak first, sliding his palm to rest upon the back of your neck and play with any strand of hair he could reach. “as you may have already guessed..” he started, chuckling in disbelief; there was no way this wasn’t a dream. “i haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.”
he must have noticed your confusion, the way your eyebrows briefly knitted together, for he merely beamed. “it’s barely been a few days,” you spoke in your overfamiliar rational tone. 
“you know what i mean.” he scrunched up his nose, effectively pulling another small laugh from your lips. “ever since i left so long ago. i wish i could’ve snuck you in one of my suitcases.”
you snickered, briefly bowing your head. the thought had crossed your mind multiple times, in a sense. “i’ve missed you too,” you spoke lowly, though you wished you could speak as freely as soonyoung had always been able to. “so so much.”
“well…” with his index finger placed delicately underneath your chin, he silently prompted you to face him. you thought it was perhaps the most you’d ever seen soonyoung act so..reserved. “i don’t know about you, but i plan on making the most of our time together.”
once again, you were met with the visceral feeling of your hesitancy melting away. you nodded in agreement, “great minds really do think alike.” before he could let out a full laugh, your lips were on his. this kiss was much different from the last, the two of you pouring out every sentiment and emotion you’d been forced to keep to yourself for too long. the secrecy remained..but at least the two of you could revel in it together. 
he chased your lips in desperation, trying his best not to let his smile grow too wide and disrupt the kiss. after stealing a few more quick pecks he pulled away to smile fondly towards you and allow you to catch your breath. in that moment when your eyes met, soonyoung’s completely dazed and flushed, you realized…you were completely and utterly fucked.
—--------------------
you were assigned to work with seulgi the night of the impromptu dinner party, waiting near the furthest wall should any of the attendees need anything else. the two of you stood with your hands folded in front of you, staring straight ahead with neutral expressions. it was difficult not to eavesdrop on the conversation playing out in front of you while pretending to be unbothered. something about land management, storage methods for the winter.. 
of course, it was all lost on you every time your gaze landed on soonyoung. you could tell, even from afar, that he was doing his best to focus on the task at hand..whatever that may be. only every now and then would he steal a quick, unnoticeable glance towards the back of the room and send you a smile that barely reached his eyes. you were proud of him, all things considered.  
the weeks that passed by were possibly the happiest of your life. stolen glances in the hallway, secret kisses in hidden corridors of the castle, a few handwritten notes stuffed under your bedroom door.. it was beautiful. it was terribly romantic. every moment you spent apart from him, you found yourself counting down the seconds until you could see him again.   
you told no one about your secret courtship, not even seulgi. soonyoung kept the secret too, even if he was reluctant to do so. he felt so giddy, so lightheaded every time he saw you.. he had to tell someone about it. anyone. but..your comfort was more important to him. it seemed like a fair sacrifice to make. 
seulgi eventually leaned closer to you and whispered, “what do you suppose any of this means?”     
“no idea,” you chuckled under your breath. even if whatever they were talking about did concern you, which it didn’t, you couldn’t bother to focus your attention on anything else but the raven-haired man across the room. he felt so close, yet so far. you craved a moment alone with him…
“i’m surprised gahyun’s not here,” seulgi whispered, once again pulling you out of your love-struck daze. however, you nodded all the same, under the guise of being invested in the conversation with her. “i bet she’s exhausted. she works so hard; she barely gets any sleep.”
you nodded before confessing lowly, “i feel guilty. and i’m not sure why.”
seulgi shrugged, staring mindlessly at the table straight ahead. “you shouldn’t. she’s been watching over the queen for a few years now.. i’m not so sure why she’s so highly strung about it.”
“i wouldn’t say she’s highly strung,” you countered lowly and tilted your chin towards the floor to avoid soonyoung’s gaze. you tried to bite back a smile, hiding it from seulgi and anyone else that may have looked over towards you. 
“you know i mean well.”
the two of you fell silent for the entirety of the party and eventually, the attendees rose to their feet and collectively began to depart from the room. soonyoung lingered in the room for a moment, his intense gaze finding yours as he expertly slipped a piece of paper under his plate. he practically skipped away to join his colleagues, leaving you and seulgi to clean up after them.
you quickly opted to clean the side of the table soonyoung had been sitting on. once your friend was properly distracted, muttering to herself about how late it was, you grabbed the tiny piece of paper and slipped it into your pocket. “at least they cleaned after themselves decently enough,” you chimed in. 
“decently enough, at least,” she repeated your words with a snicker before leading you to the kitchen. the tiny slip of paper buried within your apron felt like a rock, weighing down on you and serving as a constant reminder of who you were dying to see. as if yearning for a moment with him alone wasn’t enough, now the curiosity of what he’d written was eating you alive. 
the two of you had worked together long enough to find a steady rhythm, finishing the dishes in a timely manner. and when her back was turned and she placed the last few stacks in the cupboards, you stole a quick look at the note soonyoung had given you, which read: “meet me in your room tonight. i’ll be waiting. <3” 
the two of you walked down the hall in silence, as not to disturb any of the other servants. you were grateful that at the very least, seulgi slept at the opposite end of the hallway from you. after the two of you finally shared your goodnights, you slipped through the tiny crack in your bedroom door, for fear of anyone seeing the unwelcomed figure in your private quarters.
you smiled brightly as you locked the door behind you and greeted the man sitting politely on your bed with a quiet laugh. “sorry,” you whispered. “cleaning took a bit longer than expected.”
“don’t worry about it.” he rose to his feet, allowing you a closer look at the three boxes stacked upon your bed. three plain, clean boxes, two large and one small. before you could ask him about them, he stood before you with his hands practically glued to your waist and pressed his lips onto yours in a quick but passionate kiss. he chuckled into your mouth, “god, that was torture.”  
you chuckled soon after, your own timid hands soon finding purchase near the collar of his dress shirt. “tell me about it.” you chased his lips with your own when he laughed a little too loudly for comfort, even during his best efforts to keep his voice down. but you, grinning dumbly, couldn’t stay mad at him for too long. “shhh.” 
your efforts to shut him up proved to be successful. soon after he let out a low hum, he got lost in the slow, deep kiss you shared and carefully slid his hands up your body until they rested upon your jawline. his lips molded with yours until he remembered what was laying on the bed and broke the kiss, excitement in his eyes. “i got you some presents.”
“i can see that.” the two of you had grown accustomed to whispering during any time you had together. it had become almost an intimate, personal language only the two of you spoke, even if it was difficult, more often than not, for soonyoung not to raise his voice another octave. “what are they?” 
“why don’t you open them and find out?” soonyoung snickered, the sound briefly startling you, and he took both of your hands in his before prompting you to sit alongside him on the bed. he beamed, unable to contain his excitement (or his secrets, for that matter), before grabbing the box on the bottom of the pile and placing it in your lap. 
you smiled to yourself, biting back a chuckle, before lifting the lid off of the box as quietly as you were able. the rustling of the parchment paper made you cringe inwardly, soon being replaced by an unmistakable warmth within your heart. a plain brown dress was folded neatly underneath thin, wrinkled paper- probably one of the most comfortable-looking dresses you’d seen in your life.
“you needed a new uniform,” he explained, his voice barely above a whisper. he smiled with beautiful sentimentality once you looked over to him, an incredulous look in your eyes. he lowered his tone again, “that’s nothing. look in the other ones.”
after pushing the opened box aside, soonyoung picked up the other large one and promptly placed it in your lap. you were more cautious opening this one, making sure the parchment paper didn’t crinkle so loudly this time. another dress was folded carefully inside, this one a beautiful cream color with tiny black flowers stitched into the fabric. 
“for the fair,” he explained again before linking his arm around your waist. his hold was firm, confident.. but gentle as always. “i hope you have a good coat, by the way.”
you chuckled, ignoring the hesitance to the best of your ability and pushing it to the back of your mind. the two of you could figure out the logistics of a public outing later. “i have one.. it’s decent enough,” you whispered. 
“good,” he chuckled, his chin resting atop your shoulder. you felt him smile even brighter, his furthest hand squeezing your hip. “c’mon, open the next one. this one’s the best.” you chuckled helplessly upon realizing that outwardly, at least, the man appeared to be far more excited about the gifts than you were. 
within the smallest box lay a pair of brand new ice skates, the sharp blades shining brightly in the moonlight. you pressed a hand to your chest upon feeling a distinct sort of aching.. your heart felt heavy with adoration and gratitude. for a moment, you could only stare at the skates in awe. “you..you…”
soonyoung paused, as if to hear you out. try as you might, you could barely muster anything beyond a quiet yet heartfelt expression of gratitude. he wrapped his other arm around your center, pulling you in for a tight embrace. “i have to go on this..excursion for the court. it’s a whole ordeal. i thought you could come with me. we could stop by the lake, it should still be frozen over.”
the more soonyoung spoke, the more he tugged feverishly at your heartstrings. your heart nearly lept out of your chest at the thought of running away with him, even for just a day or two. “i.. i still have so many chores to catch up on-” you admitted lowly, avoiding his gaze. you hated to see him upset, especially knowing your words had any part in it. 
but soonyoung was nothing if not persistent. he wrapped his arms even tighter around your figure, nearly enough to knock the breath out of your lungs. not that you would ever protest, of course. “i’ll make it worth your while, i swear. i can tell sangyeon you’re sick. i can help you complete your chores this weekend.”
“soonyoung-”
“come on, we can cross that bridge when we get to it,” he pleaded, fighting everything inside him telling him to raise his voice. “please?”
you knew it was a terrible idea. if anyone saw you leaving the palace at the same time.. they would most definitely be able to draw conclusions on their own. it was already risky taking time off for yourself; asking for the day off was never really a simple ordeal. but the look in soonyoung’s eyes, his piercing, expressive eyes, was almost enough to assure you things would work in both your and his favor. 
we can cross that bridge when we get to it. 
you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, doing your best to hug him with as much compression and strength as you could muster. he quickly returned the favor, having to silence his laughs by giggling into the area where your neck and shoulder met. “i know you’ll make it worth my while,” you told him once he’d calmed down. 
“is that a yes?” he perked up, lifting his chin to look in your eyes, as if the answer lay within your irises.
“...it’s not a no.”
he smiled breathlessly before leaning in to kiss you again. and again. and again.. every time his lips met yours, you could feel his need. his gentle insistence. it never failed to bring a smile to your lips; something about the way he kissed you and muttered sweet nothings was so addicting. “thank you,” he paused his pecks, whispering. “thank you.”
“don’t thank me yet,” you chuckled against his lips, soon placing your palm flat on his chest. “now you must go, or you’ll be late for your meeting in the morning.” 
soonyoung’s face coiled and you knew he wanted to groan out his protest. loudly, at that. “i wish i could just sleep in here. your bed’s so comfortable.”
you snickered, knowing your mattress was probably the last surface anyone would want to spend the night on, if they could help it. it was firm, tough, and it barely offered any comfort after a restless day. just another testament to soonyoung’s unfailing kindness towards you. “i know. but won’t it raise some eyebrows? a courtier sneaking out of the servant hall early in the morning?” 
he frowned, his nose scrunching up at the movement. “why do you always have to be so wise?”
“i ask myself the same thing everyday.” you cupped both of his cheeks, pressing a firm kiss against his lips before reluctantly moving off the bed. soonyoung followed, his eyes glued to you as he silently followed you towards the door.
“until tomorrow,” he sighed, disappointment etched within his features.
“you can spend a few hours without me,” you whispered in his ear once he’d brought you in for another warm embrace. your arms inevitably found their way around his neck as you clung onto him like your life depended on it. 
“no i can’tttt.” you snickered at the way soonyoung managed to whine in such a low tone. “it’s torturous. i wish you could just come everywhere with me.”
you sighed, “i know.” another chuckle fell from your lips once your chin fell upon his shoulder, this one somewhat sadder than the last. as much as your secret meetings, whispered conversations and forbidden kisses excited you, more often than not, you wished it was simpler between the two of you. part of it was so exhausting... “go on. you need your sleep.” 
reluctantly, soonyoung broke out of the embrace to cup your chin between his thumb and index finger. “very well. i’ll leave a word with sangyeon first thing in the morning.” 
“wh-” before you could formulate your question, soonyoung pressed his lips against yours in a hasty kiss and promptly rushed out the door. you stood dumbfounded, but lovestruck, all the same. 
soonyoung, however, felt as if a beauty symphony rang throughout the hallway. he smiled dumbly to himself, scarcely managing to keep his wits about him as he hurried out of the servants’ corridor. he held his chin high, for with the dreaded feeling of your absence came the excitement of reuniting with you.
now just how could he steal sangyeon away from his work and…
“soonyoung.” a voice, much too smooth and calculated, sounded once he’d reached the end of the hallway. his heart fell to his stomach and he could have sworn that his soul left his body once jihoon stood before him, appearing to be alarmingly..calm. 
“good god, jihoon, what the hell was that for?” he demanded, clutching at his dress shirt. his fist dragged along his own chest in circular motions, a vain attempt at soothing his racing heart.
jihoon barely flinched upon hearing his otherwise startling tone. “i know what you’re doing,” he stated somewhat matter-of-factly. 
just then, soonyoung felt the blood drain from his face, most likely following the path of his heavy heart, as he jumped to the worst possible conclusion. he gulped, “you..you do?” as jihoon seemingly paused for dramatic effect, he had to ask himself how it was possible for things to take such an intense turn from perfection in such a short amount of time.
suddenly jihoon nodded and soonyoung wasn’t sure if he should feel relieved that he was finally speaking up. “yes, i do.” he crossed in front of him, his arms folded tight across his chest. “you’ve been shirking your duties. why is that, i wonder?”
soonyoung looked past the man’s shoulder and surveyed the rest of the main floor, as if plotting his escape. really, his goal was to avoid eye contact. “it’s..cold. i’ve been trying to gather all the right supplies.”
“are you sure you’re not just trying to prolong the inevitable?” he raised an eyebrow smugly.
he scoffed, “no, i’m just trying to avoid getting hypothermia or pneumonia, thank you very much.”
this time, jihoon took a page out of the older man’s book and took a quick look at their surroundings. the palace was deadly silent; under any other circumstance, soonyoung wouldn’t have found it so eerie. then he spoke in a low tone, “if you play your cards right, you may never have to worry about getting sick ever again.”
soonyoung took a step backwards, nearly stumbling. he wanted to argue. he wanted to counter him with age-old questions, ‘how do you know that?’ or ‘if whatever you’re talking about is so great, why can’t you procure it yourself?’ instead he settled for a stiffened nod and a forced grin, “i’m leaving around noon tomorrow.”
jihoon smiled, though it barely reached his eyes. “good.” 
biting back a sigh of exhaustion, he pushed past jihoon and began to cross to the large exit door. freedom from the darkened hallways and overbearing colleagues was so close he could almost taste it. but when his superior’s cool voice ran through the hall again, calling his name, he screwed his eyes shut. “...yes?”
“you’d do well not to be so negligent from now on.” a pause, as if allowing soonyoung to shake off the chill that had run down his spine. “good night.”
—-----------------
on any other given day, getting out of the palace wouldn’t have been a problem. however, getting out of the palace under the guise of taking a sick day and trying not to be seen with soonyoung was an entirely different story. donned with the warmest dress and largest cloak you owned, you snuck throughout the halls and outside the servant’s entrance, avoiding eye contact with several colleagues in the process. 
you were relieved to see an empty path before you once met with the frigid winter air. soonyoung had given up trying to convince you to meet him near the hidden entrance of the palace once he realized neither of you should be willing to take the risk of being caught. in the distance, however, you could have sworn you saw a string of bright red amidst the snow-covered trees.. his scarf. after a quick, precautionary look behind your shoulder, you were on your way to chase the blur of scarlet.
he stepped out of his less than effective hiding spot the moment he heard the snow crunching at your feet. his cheeks were flushed to a deep shade of red, however, something told you the icy winds had no part in it. “took you long enough,” he teased. “i thought i was gonna freeze to death if i waited a second longer.”
you pressed a lingering kiss against his cheek in favor of an apology. his gloved hands soon found yours and effectively prompted you to walk alongside him. “what are they doing, forcing you to go on an excursion this time of year, anyways?” even in your largest cloak, the cold was so difficult to ignore; you could only hope soonyoung wasn’t suffering as you were.
he shrugged dismissively. “just surveilling some of the unmanaged land around the kingdom.”
“they expect you to examine all of it in a day? in the wintertime, nonetheless?” you asked, visibly confused.  
“well..” he stopped, briefly looking up to the sky in contemplation as if he hadn’t thought that far ahead already. after composing himself, he squeezed your hand in reassurance. “no. i thought we’d go somewhere we already know pretty well, then go back to the palace. just for today. then i’ll make my rounds throughout the week and you don’t have to miss so much work.” 
it was strange, the way he felt the need to over explain himself when speaking with you. the way you saw it, if there was anyone in the palace he could put his full trust in without being disappointed, it was yourself. “alright.. that’s actually not a bad idea.”
you were grateful, at the very least, that soonyoung had procured a horse for the two of you and chose not to ask any question before mounting his saddle. you just hoped that the most difficult part of the journey was over; while the two of you shared the tight space on the saddle, you were allowed to take in the sights around you properly while having a perfect excuse to hold onto soonyoung tightly around the waist. it was the best of both worlds.
majestic couldn’t even begin to describe the open plains of the kingdom during the wintertime. several inches of powdery snow shone in the sunlight, the flakes clung to the trees’ thin branches like lace, the sky was the most beautiful shade of baby blue you’d ever seen in your life.
as much as you would have loved to enjoy your surroundings, you couldn’t exactly sit in silence. “soonyoung?” 
“hmmm?”
“why did you never tell me your uncle was a courtier?” you asked, your hands slightly tensing near his sternum once holding your arms in a fixed position became too trying of a task. 
soonyoung chuckled, as if taken aback by your question. “honestly? i didn’t really find out myself until a few days before we moved,” he explained. “i always knew he came from good money, i just didn’t know where he got it all from. or why my father didn’t have much, for that matter.”
“right..” you nodded, your chin brushing against his shoulder with the brisk movement. 
“but my father was never really the type to sit behind a desk and organize meetings, anyways,” soonyoung continued. “he loved the ocean. any opportunity he could, he joined the royal navy on their voyages. he was..adventurous. bold, daring, zealous-”
“a lot like you,” you chimed in softly.
you watched his cheeks flush with that same shade of tomato red, his eyes falling to the reins he clutched onto tightly. “i’d like to think so. though, i will be the first to admit i don’t want to be anywhere near the ocean.”
“what? you seemed to have no problem ice skating back in the day,” you reminded him.
“oh, come on that’s much different,” soonyoung replied defensively. “for one, the ocean’s a lot more.. restless and boundless than that old river. so much of it hasn’t even been discovered yet.”
“restless and boundless? sounds like someone else i know,” you snickered. “it’s a shame. the two of you would make such a great pair.”
he shook his head, laughing helplessly at this point. “i think you and i both know what i really need is someone who’d keep me even tempered.” you knew without any second guessing who he was referring to. he spoke so effortlessly, so casually, you would have thought he was talking about something as mundane as the weather. even so, his words ignited a fire within your heart that nearly made you forget about the cold entirely.
you played off your bashfulness with a chuckle, watching a cloud of smoke escape from your lips as a result. “i suppose you’re right. even if there is really no use in trying to settle you down.” 
soonyoung pouted but didn’t argue, instead opting for changing the subject. “what about you? how did you come to work at the palace?”    
you paused. after a few years in the palace, it felt as if you’d been there your entire life and it was impossible, pointless even, to recall your life beforehand. “well.. you remember when my father went on that excursion of his,” you chuckled in annoyance. “he promised he’d come back rich, even though we were living quite comfortably. well.. he still hasn’t returned home. we ran out of the money he’d left for us, but he did leave us with plenty of debt. my mother was taken away to the debtors’ prison and i was left to search for work and boarding until i ended up at the palace, by some miracle.”
soonyoung didn’t even try to hide his shock, or his disdain for that matter. “what??” he almost shrieked. he patted your wrist after feeling you jump behind him, a temporary apology. “i don’t know what to say. that’s one of the worst things i’ve ever heard, i’m so sorry.”
you shrugged. “i’ve made my peace with it by now.”
“you shouldn’t have to, though,” he countered. “i can easily pay your father’s debts off for you. she shouldn’t have to live in a cell for the rest of her life just because-” he stopped himself before he could risk hitting a nerve. 
just because her husband was a lowlife? “we appreciate that. but we won’t accept any charity.” much to your surprise, soonyoung didn’t press you any further on the matter. 
neither of you were expecting to arrive to your main destination so quickly. you were definitely not expecting to arrive at, the large river you’d grown quite familiar with as a child, of all places. the fact that it looked exactly the same, even years later, left you feeling awe struck. your jaw remained agape even when dismounting the horse.
“it’s- so-” you started, sounding absolutely stupid. not that you cared, seeing that the twisting body of frozen water lay before you, mountains of snow and frostbitten trees surrounding it. it felt so incredibly peaceful. it felt like your shared sanctuary. 
soonyoung chuckled and ensured his dark horse was securely but loosely tied to a nearby tree. he then reached into his satchel, pulling out two matching pairs of ice skates and effectively earning a snicker from you. “i have my ways,” he shrugged, answering the question on the tip of your tongue. 
tying your straps and ensuring the blades were secure felt like a blur. the two of you waddled towards the edge of the river, staying too close to the snow for soonyoung’s liking. he squeezed your hand in silent encouragement, “how are you feeling? balanced?” 
you held on tighter to his hand, staring down at your feet moving back and forth in choppy motions. “um.. sort of?”
“good.” after securing his tight grip on your hand once more, soonyoung kicked his right foot and the two of you were off. your shriek echoed throughout the cold air as you held onto him for dear life, stumbling on the frosty surface. “see? you’ve still got it!” 
you laughed once he pulled you into a sharp turn near a winding corner, the abrupt movement startling you enough to hold onto him tighter. “hardly!” even as warm nostalgia flooded through your veins and motivated you enough to match his movements, soonyoung’s work agenda remained in the back of your mind. “i don’t see what this has to do wi-”   
you shrieked again once he paused his movements just enough to let go of your hand without making you fall down completely. for a moment you stood alone, dumbfounded and wobbly, watching him glide in front of you with such practiced ease. “come on, it’s not getting any colder!” he yelled past his shoulder.
“stay near the edges,” you reminded him, though something told you that instruction would go in one ear and out the other. his bright red scarf and large coat appeared as if they would float right off of his figure with how fast he was skating. “very well.” after a moment you finally broke down and pushed after him, arms at your side in an attempt to steady yourself.
soonyoung would soon turn around to face you, moving a little too close to the middle of the water for your own comfort. before you could scold him again, he zipped towards you and grabbed both of your hands, coming to a full stop. “i’m so happy here with you,” he said breathlessly. “thank you.”
you held tightly to his hands even if you were slowly finding your balance. “whatever for?”
“for always humoring me.” with that, he closed the space between the two of you in favor of kissing you gently. the two of you presented a gentle smile in unison and soonyoung was the one to break away. “it can’t be easy.”
you paused, unsure whether to confirm or deny his statement. the truth was.. soonyoung provided the excitement and laughter in your life that you’d seemed to be chasing for much too long. how could you ever hold that against him?  
of course, you wished he would at the very least give you time to formulate a response with more substance than, ‘i don’t mind it so much.’ for he pulled you alongside him down the winding path, opting for a smoother pace this time around. four blades glide against the shining ice in a beautiful, casual air while the two of you remained hand in hand. 
“are you sure they’ll approve of you taking a turn around the lake like this?” you finally asked.
“definitely not,” he snickered. “but they don’t need to know. it’ll be our little secret.”
you sighed, a sarcastic air within the little cloud of smoke near your lips. “so many secrets.”
you don’t know the half of it. before soonyoung could offer an assuring remark, he looked towards the previously proclaimed forbidden spot on the lake. most of the surface was gray, misty almost.. but there was a distinct glow of light blue almost directly in the center of the streambed. suddenly he remembered.. “oh-” 
“soonyoung, don’t-” you voiced your protest to no avail. he dropped your hand in favor of inching closer and closer towards the magnetizing center floor. 
“it’s fine, y/n,” he chuckled without turning back to face you. instead he tried not to focus too much on how the ice was much thinner where he was standing, allowing him a closer look at the blue rocks deep deep below the surface. “come on, you used to love it over here.”
“back when we were a lot smaller,” you countered, now feeling antsy as you lingered near the lake’s edge. 
he snickered with a dismissive wave of your hand, nearly making your blood boil in frustration. he ignored you otherwise, bending down ever so slightly to get a closer look.. and then he realized, everything hitting him all at once..
“soonyoung-”
“that’s why they all looked so familiar,” he muttered to himself, his mind racing. no, it had to be too good to be true. his very first stop, he came across the object he’d been sent to procure. how could it be possible that the moonstones were directly in front of him his entire life, just barely out of reach..
was it fate? destiny?
“soonyoung, come on. snap out of it-”
he didn’t even hear the crack before he fell into the water. across the river, however, it sounded like thunder. you reacted immediately, rushing towards the broken ice without a second thought. you couldn’t scream. you couldn’t speak. you could barely even breath as you grabbed onto both of his arms, feeling the thinning ice settle underneath you.
but you didn’t give up. soonyoung did what he could to push himself out of the water, holding onto your arms for dear life. neither of you spoke a word, both of your panicked breaths speaking for themselves. inwardly, you were cursing, pleading with him.. he must have known from the moment his eyes found yours.
once he reached the surface, his entire figure drenched in ice cold water, you promptly dragged him off of the ice entirely. he shivered violently, clinging to any ounce of warmth you could offer him, “y/n-”
“god, you’re so so stupid,” you cut him off with a broken sob, your hands cupping both of his achingly cold cheeks. “how could you do something like that?! you know better, i know you do!”
he held onto you tighter, chasing your warmth. chasing your comfort, especially once you threw off your overcoat and draped it over his shoulders. “i know, i-”
“you’re so fucking stupid,” you cried and threw your arms around his shoulders, effectively trapping him in your embrace. tears fell down your cheeks as the loud crack echoed in your mind again and again, nearly encouraging you to scream at the top of your lungs. “are you alright?? god, tell me you’re alright-”
“i’m fine,” he spoke in shuddered breaths, now clinging onto you as if to take every last breath away. he chased every fleeting hint of warmth your lips brought to his skin as you kissed his cheek, again and again. “i’m fine. i’m sorry. i’m sorry..”
for a moment, you could only cry quietly into his wet shoulder and search desperately for comfort within the sound of his steadying heartbeat. the thought of losing him again was unbearable, you’d always known that, but after nearing the possibility.. “what was that for?” 
“it-” he paused with a sheepish expression. “it’s a long story-”
—---------
making the journey back towards the palace in soonyoung’s condition was not an option, at least the two of you could agree on that. hence why the two of you sat in a dimly lit room in the inn, wearing borrowed clothes and hugging each other tightly under the covers as night fell. your eyes, filled with gentle insistence, searched his for any reasonable explanation for his failed logic. 
“why would you do something like that?” you asked, your tone low but persistent. “you could have drowned if i wasn’t there. all for some rocks?” 
he drew in a sigh and you felt his sternum rise before falling against yours, reminding you of just how close you were laying together. “you have to swear not to tell anyone. and i mean anyone.”
“of course,” you agreed; after all, what was one more secret?
“they’re not just some rocks. jihoon believes those stones possess magic of some kind. he sent me to find them and bring them back to the palace. without telling jeonghan.” as he spoke, his voice remained avoidant, almost sheepish. you would have almost found it comical.
“..what?” there was always an unsettling anxiety that came with the fact that you never really knew what went on behind closed doors. you had placed your faith in jeonghan since the day of his coronation; he seemed to advocate for all of the right things.. but your stomach did somersaults with the newfound knowledge that he didn’t have all the power you might have thought he did. “that’s…so..so wrong. how could he make you do that?”
“no idea,” he replied hastily. “he’s changed. i don’t like being around him. i understand that it can’t be easy ruling a kingdom but i don’t know.”
you nodded, settling comfortably in the crook of his neck. much to your relief, he was finally starting to warm up. “what are you going to do?” 
“no idea,” he repeated. “i can’t tell jeonghan what’s going on because jihoon’ll get mad and have me removed from the court. i can’t keep it a secret, jeonghan could have everyone removed and most likely banished. i definitely can’t fish the rocks out of the stream right now; the water probably froze back over tonight and who knows how deep the water is, anyways. and.. i just can’t believe they’ve been right in front of my face this whole time.”
you listened to his ramblings without interrupting, keeping a comforting hold on his shoulder as he spoke. “you’re worried about jihoon being mad at you?” you asked, your words slightly muffled against his neck. 
“hmm?” 
“i’m just saying-” you pulled away, falling back against the pillow to properly meet his gaze. “i think there’s a lot more at stake than someone’s feelings towards you.”
soonyoung’s lips fell apart, at a loss for words. “well, i know that, but- it’s complicated. jihoon’s not just my superior, he’s my friend. i can’t lose him just because of a disagreement.”
“but it’s not just a disagreement,” you countered. “he’s going behind the king’s back. he doesn’t know what he’s getting into with these powers, and i think he’s being a little hypocritical-”
“well, yeah, he’s not perfect,” he interrupted and broke out of your embrace, sitting upright. immediately feeling affected by the loss of the blankets, he tugged the fabric of the borrowed dress robes closer to his figure. “but he’s..it’s all just..” he paused, trying to compose all of his thoughts. “it’s really complicated. you wouldn’t understand.”
you furrowed your eyebrows. “why wouldn’t i understand?” you mirrored his position, sitting upright and propping yourself up by your left hand to face him properly. 
visibly, soonyoung regretted his words. “well.. because-”
“because i’m just some lowly servant?” you finished for him, your voice gentle even as you scolded him. “because i’m so simple and unassuming compared to the rest of your friends?” 
soonyoung furrowed his eyebrows, pausing abruptly and welcoming the palpable tension. “what are you talking about? where did that come from?” 
you scoffed, the pitiful laugh barely audible. “you know it's the truth.”
“no, it’s not.” 
“why we have to sneak around, why we can’t talk outside my bedroom,” you continued. “why we can’t even be caught looking at each other.”
the confusion and hurt was visible within soonyoung’s features. he kept his eyebrows furrowed in disbelief, continuing, “you think i prefer to sneak around with you? well, i don’t! i hate it! i hate it. you have no idea how much i wish you could come to all of these stupid balls and dinner parties with me. if you don’t want to, i understand, but you won’t even try!” 
“i hate it too!” you exclaimed. “but we’re not kids anymore!”
“you think i don’t know that??”
“sometimes, yes!” soonyoung froze and you immediately regretted allowing the words to leave your mouth. you parted your lips, lost for a proper apology, and watched him slowly rise to his feet. “soonyoung, wait-”
he ignored you, pushing past the bed leaving the room with a gentle slam of the door. your words were ingrained in his mind, your delivery, the look in your eyes.. all of it. it hurt. it hurt so terribly, coming face to face with the notion that things between the two of you had just changed too much.
he kept walking and walking until his slippers were met with the powdery snow, his cheeks burning from the frigid winds. but he would not return to you until his mind was clear, he owed you that much. he, too, could be level headed. or so he thought.
for when he eventually found his way back to the river, the familiar heavenly glow was gone and panic settled within his heart. someone had taken the stones.
—---------
as expected, the journey back to the palace was terribly awkward. it didn’t help that neither of you had never been particularly talkative in the mornings and both of you opted to leave promptly at sunrise. your hold around his waist was much looser this time around as you did what you could to give him space on the shared saddle. it was horrible. 
the two of you shared a half-hearted farewell before parting ways in the castle. you carried your belongings to the servants’ quarters while trying to be as inconspicuous as possible and soonyoung made a beeline for the great hall. thankfully, no one spotted the two of you together.
you were startled to see seulgi standing in your bedroom the moment you pushed the door open, however. you bit back a shriek, nearly dropping all of your clothes. “seulgi? why aren’t you working?”
“i could ask you the same thing,” she countered, her lips twisting into a teasing smirk. “you never take a day off. what’s going on?” 
“nothing,” you stated and hurriedly began to hang up your damp clothing. “i was just feeling a little suffocated in the palace, is all.”
“i don’t blame you,” she sighed before helping you search for your uniform. “yesterday i thought about following you out the door and running far away. the king’s planning an impromptu party for tomorrow night.” 
“tomorrow night?” you sighed, slapping your palm over your forehead. maybe you should have asked for another day off, after all. “maybe you’re right. maybe he and the queen are celebrating something.” which only made the news you’d pulled out of soonyoung all the more heartbreaking.
speaking of which, soonyoung was surprised to see he was the first man to arrive inside the courtroom after jihoon. he had never been this early, even if he could have helped it. he found his assigned seat, trying to avoid eye contact with the other man and failing terribly. 
“you’re back earlier than expected,” jihoon said quietly.
he gulped, trying to distract himself with the endless stacks of papers on his desk. your words, ever present in the back of his mind, tugged at his heartstrings and proved impossible to ignore. in a shaky tone, he lied with such apparent impulse, “my horse slipped a shoe.” 
jihoon stared daggers at the other man, who he could read like a book at this point. not that soonyoung made much of an effort to hide anything particularly well. “sorry to hear that,” jihoon finally sighed. “hopefully you’ll be back on the road in a timely manner.”
“oh yes, hopefully.” 
soonyoung found himself praising god or whomever once mingyu and wonwoo burst through the doors. the others soon followed, providing him with a temporary sense of relief whether they realized it or not. still.. he spent the rest of the meeting doing what he could to avoid eye contact with jihoon and push your harsh words out of his mind completely.
—------------
it was no surprise that the dress your best friend had purchased for you was more comfortable than anything else you owned. even a simple frock that served as a formal enough uniform for the party seemed to encourage you to curl up in a ball and fall asleep near the fireplace. instead, you were tasked with carrying the tray of champagne flutes around the ballroom. 
for a moment, he was nowhere to be found. you wanted to thank him, tell him how much warmer it was than your last one, but those words seemed forced to remain at the tip of your tongue for the time being. 
“new dress?” seulgi’s voice from behind you remained low and somewhat neutral. 
you nodded, carefully turning around and avoiding several shoulders to face her. “yes. does it look alright?”
“it looks more like you should be wearing it out to a restaurant,” she chuckled. “where did you find it?”
you paused, soonyoung’s name at the tip of your tongue and the center of your mind, as always. you pushed the thought of him away, as always, to the best of your ability. “just..someplace in town. i’ll have to take you there one of these days.”
“please do.”
the two of you seulgi promptly left your side to continue her rounds. at the very least, you were grateful your performance had been put on a pause for the time being. well, until you had to go to the kitchen to replace your empty glasses. you shuffled down the stairs with bowed shoulders, forcing your eyes shut and then wide open in an effort to wake yourself up. whether the exhaustion was entirely emotional or physical was up for debate.
after your tray became about five times heavier, you forced yourselves up the stairs once more. once you reached the top step, however, the energy shifted and you weren’t entirely sure why. that was, until you finally got a clear enough glance at two familiar faces in the corner of the room, standing in a small circle with jeonghan and the queen. 
“it’s the princess,” a stranger behind you whispered incredulously. “she’s finally here again, i can’t believe it-”
and joshua. 
but what did this mean? were they permitted to live in the palace again or were they just visiting? did they somehow know about soonyoung’s conundrum? where was that man, anyways..
the room suddenly felt stuffy, even more crowded. you had spotted every member of the royal court you recognized except for soonyoung. it was an unfortunate habit of yours, assuming the worst, but you couldn’t really help it. settling for the first empty surface you spotted, you set your tray down rather hastily and cautiously pushed the balcony doors open.
once you came to ignore the bitterly cold air, you stepped to the balcony’s edge and let your hands rest upon the snow-covered railing. you’d never wished so desperately for spring to come before. lately, in the palace, it seemed as if there was something unexpected at every turn of the hallway. 
a faint click behind you prompted the hair near the back of your neck to rise. “sorry, i just needed a minute-” 
“it’s me.”  
before you could fully turn around, soonyoung was at your side. he wore a dark shade of red that reminded you of the wine you’d always wanted to try, his dark hair fanned over his eyes in little wisps.. you so desperately wanted to reach a hand to brush through it. his smile grew once he got a closer look at the dress you were wearing and his eyes remained respectively locked on your figure, as if to memorize how it looked on you. 
“did you see joshua’s back? and the princess?” you asked quietly, unsure of what else to say.
“i did,” he nodded, letting his hands drape over the railing next to yours. “no one really knows what it means. rumor has it jeonghan’s letting them stay here again.”
“i bet his father is thrilled.” you paused, absorbing the tense, cold silence. then you bowed your head, staring at the dark carriages lined up in front of the palace. a few footmen remained outside, as if to surveille the precious machinery, but they all seemed to blur before your eyes. “i’m sorry- i shouldn’t have said all those things.”
he paused and you heard him swallow next to you. his eyes remained glued to the ground below, though he couldn’t fully focus on the sight. “we all have to grow up sometime. i didn’t realize how young you were when you were forced to learn for yourself.”
“you too.” you forced your eyes shut, preventing a single tear from surfacing. “but i could..i could try to live a little.”
he shook his head sternly. “i never wanted to force you to do something you didn’t want to,” he whispered and brought his hand to your cheek in an effort to get a better look at your eyes. they shone in the moonlight, glossed with a few distant tears which he was ready to wipe away. “i think there’s something beautiful about loving you in secret, actually.”
that was it. there was no comedic edge to his words, no short chuckle followed.. just pure vulnerability. “really?” 
“you see parts of me no one else does,” he whispered while tracing patterns against your cheek with his thumb. “i can’t trust anyone else the way i trust you.” 
once again, you were at a loss for words and cursed inwardly for feeling that the gift of words of affirmation merely passed you by. you did, however, lift your hands from the railing in favor of resting them on his chest. his heartbeat echoed through his shirt in gentle time with yours. “is it selfish,” you sighed. “that i want you all to myself?”
he chuckled for the first time that night and your heart nearly melted completely. “i can’t really judge you for that. i feel the same way.”
you smiled from ear to ear, watching your hands slide up towards his shoulders. “soonyoung..can we really continue with this?”
“are you asking if this is what i really want?” he asked, the smallest hint of disbelief. “of course. of course. i just want to know if you’re alright with all of it.”
“of course.” you spoke in the same cadence as him, giving either of his shoulders a gentle squeeze. “even if we have to sneak around and whisper for the rest of our lives.. i love to love you in secret.”
soonyoung allowed less than a second to pass before placing his lips against yours. you quickly chased the feeling, only just then realizing how much you’d missed his passionate, adoring kisses. both of his hands fell to your waist before he tugged you closer in search for your warmth. you, lost for words, poured every emotion you could into your kisses, and he felt as if he could have responded until he was breathless. 
or until he heard footsteps on the other side of the door and pulled away, putting a respectful distance between the two of you. to your shared surprise, it wasn’t jihoon swinging open the doors in a hurried manner. it was jeonghan. 
“your highness!” he beamed. “wh-”
“save it.” jeonghan stood between the two of you, seething in anger. he faced soonyoung, his own jaw clenched so tightly there was no doubt it hurt. “why didn’t you tell me about your mission?”
soonyoung’s throat went dry as he tried to stop his jaw from falling to the floor. “...come again?”
“don’t play dumb,” jeonghan snapped. “i know what he told you to do. i know what he wants.”
stealing a glance past the king’s shoulder, soonyoung looked to you for reassurance. it came in the form of a grin that disappeared as quickly as it surfaced. “i- how do you kn-”
“it doesn’t matter how i know,” jeonghan snapped again, his voice reaching an octave you’ve never heard from the young man. it was alarming, to say the least. it all felt like a dream..or like a horrible nightmare.
“your highness-” you finally stepped in, standing close enough to soonyoung that you wouldn’t arouse any suspicion. you spoke in a calculating yet mediating tone, “if you don’t mind me asking, what exactly brought this on?” 
jeonghan took a step back, staring at the four handprints on the railing where a few more snowflakes had already begun to fall and fill in the space. he forced his eyes shut, his voice slightly strained. “when i heard about what jihoon had been doing behind my back, i thought it must have been a lie. there was no way a respectable man of the royal court, someone who’d been trusted for years, could do something like this.” 
he paused and the two of you held your breath. his hand, hiding behind his back, reached for yours and gave it a firm but hidden squeeze while the two of you prepared for the worst.
“my suspicions were all but confirmed the last time i spoke with him.” the young king chuckled bitterly, finally allowing himself a clearer look at the two of you. “that traitor, though he may look it, is not jihoon.”   
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taesanluv3r · 1 year ago
Text
mini me.
girl dad! taesan au <3
based on this taesan scenario i posted. u and taesan's daughter is a menace (just like her dad), her name is vivienne bcs i've always wanted to name a daughter vivienne, vivi for short!! HEHEHEH reader is taesan's wife n mother of the kid btw <3 vivi calls her parents mommy n daddy TT no warnings tbh i think there's just one cuss word in the opening, fluffy cuteness, taesan is soooooo girl dad ugh. lowercase intended, pls excuse any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors!! MWAHHH ENJOYYYY
wc: 3,739
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"oh for fuck's sake!"
han taesan laughs as his wife's loud voice echoes through the walls of their shared home, smiling softly when the little girl sat on his lap tilts her head in confusion at her mother's sudden exclamation coming from the other room. "what's up with mommy?" han vivienne wonders innocently, her tiny eyebrows furrowed as she looks up at her dad who was just as confused as she was. "i don't know but it looks like we are about to find out!" he whispers in response, the sound of footsteps emerging from the opening that lead into the living room where they sat.
a furious looking yn walks through the door. she's all dressed up in a matching all-black skirt and blazer set, her hair neatly tucked behind her ear, all ready to head to work. pretty, taesan thought, but he just couldn't ignore the fact that his wife looked like she was about to burn the building down. "what's wrong, darling?" the man's voice is soft and he begins to get up from his spot on the couch, telling his daughter to go play with her new toys while he talked to her mom. "everything! my meeting got pushed back further and now the new shipment for the store is delayed. and then my social media manager decided she can't come into work today because of some family issue and then on top of that, vivi's babysitter just quit! just like that! when she was supposed to come in and look after vivi today! it's just so...ugh!" the woman whines, slumping down on the couch as her hands made their way to cover her face in absolute stress. taesan's face softens at the sight, sitting himself down right beside her and rubbing little circles against the small of her back.
"hey, hey...don't stress too much okay? look at me..." he says sweetly, grabbing either side of her face to look at him. taesan shoots her an assuring smile, that same smile that never failed to send a swarm of butterflies to crowd inside of her tummy. "look, you just get to work and make the most out of it...i'll take vivi out today, okay? i don't have any work today so, i can take care of her, alright? don't worry, darling! you worry too much" he said, giggling when she leans into his chest and wrapping his long arms around her to pull her closer. "yeah mommy, you worry too much!" the squeaky voice of their one and only child interrupts their loving moment. the couple separated, watching as vivi climbs into her dad's lap once again before she turns to face her mother. "you know your hair will turn grey like a grandma if you worry so much!" her cheerful tone combined with her innocent grin makes her harsh words somewhat more bearable, a dramatic sigh escaping the woman's lips as she leans forward to attack the little girl in a ticklish set of kisses. "ah! mommy stop! daddy, save me!" vivi squeals in between giggles, crawling away from the woman's grasp to hide behind her father. the adult pair share a laugh and then a kiss before yn gets up to finally head out for the day.
"okay, mommy has to get to work and try to sort everything out in the office now. vivi..." yn drags out, her eyes narrowing as she looks down at her cheeky daughter who was the spitting image of the mischievous man she had married. "mhm...?" the girl replies, mimicking the way her mom prolonged her words. "you go bond with daddy for the day, okay? behave yourself, please?" instead of sounding like a command, the woman's words came out sort of like a plead. "hm..." vivienne begins, a tiny hand placed against her chin as she looks up in the air to think. "no promises! bye mommy! go now or you'll be late" she didn't even give her mom enough time to process the words before beginning to push at her legs to get her out the door. "bye darling! be safe, love you!" taesan calls out in between laughs, finding the mini version of himself's antics to be just...amusing.
"so...it's just me and you today, huh?" the man inquires, scooping the little girl up into his arms and pressing a happy peck onto her forehead. she squeals, playfully pushing his face away. she lets out a high-pitched giggle, the sound giving him slight cuteness aggression and it took every muscle in his body to not just stuff his daughter into his pockets at that very moment. "so what should we do today, hm? what do you want to do, love?" he asks, one of his large hands beginning to tuck a loose strand of her hair behind her tiny little ears. "i know! i know!" vivi exclaims, her head that was leant against his chest shifting so that they were face to face.
"let's go to the mall!" she has this huge smile on her face, teeth showing and all, it was the kind of grin that you just could never say no to. not that han taesan would ever say no to his only child, his daughter, his little girl, the light of his life, his forever baby, his own clone, he would never! even if it meant spending all of his money on her every single time they stepped foot in the nearby mall...or any place that had things for sale for that matter...
a prayer for taesan's wallet, please.
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"okay, so i watched a video on youtube...shouldn't be that hard, right?"
oh, but the ambitious dad was far too confident in his craft. as it turns out, doing a little girl's fishtail braid was far more complex than any kind of thing he's done before. he doubts himself for a second, she must've caught the way his eyes shook with worry from the mirror because in a second she had turned around to look up at the man, lifting her fists up in the air as she began to speak. "you can do this, daddy! i believe in you!" except the three year old could barely speak without stumbling over her words, her Ls turning into W sounds and the S in 'this' coming out with a lisp- but it's the thought that counts. taesan could almost feel the way his heart melted into a billion pieces, he began to wonder how on earth he got lucky enough to call this little menace his own child. then, with one deep breath and a newly found confidence, he separates a handful of his daughter's hair into four sections, saying a silent prayer before beginning to plait it just like the young woman in the tutorial did.
"is it done yet? i'm getting bored!" vivi whines, hands fiddling with the hem of her pink sweater. it's been nearly an hour since her father started working on her hair and it's safe to say that it was going nowhere! "um...hold on a minute...uh..." the man inhales all too loudly, staring at the entanglement of hair in front of him. "is it done? does it look cool?" the girl's eyes widen in excitement, staring into his own through their reflection. "well..." he trails off, biting his lip to stifle the laugh that was about to escape from it. "daddy, i wanna see!" her little arms were crossed over her chest in frustration and impatience. "i think...i think we should just leave your hair down today, love" her reaction to his suggestion was priceless, the excitement she previously displayed long gone and the most deadpan and uninterested look took it's place. taesan chuckles, "sorry, love. i'll try again next time, yeah?" he reasons, watching the way she nods in defeat and sighs as he began to unbraid (if you could even call that catastrophe a braid) his daughter's hair.
"can we go to the mall now? want ice cream!" vivienne says, tugging at her dad's vintage jeans. "mhm, go put on your shoes and we'll go" he watches as she runs over to the shoe rack towards the entrance of their home, an amused look plastered onto his face as his daughter struggles to put on her own shoes. if his wife were home right now, she would yell at him for standing still and not helping, but since she wasn't there at the moment the man took his time to laugh a little. "daddy...help me, please" vivi frowns, beginning to get annoyed by the footwear. taesan nods once, still giggling slightly as he bent down to sit on the floor with her. "watch closely i'll teach you to tie your laces now" he says, each end of the white laces in either one of his hands as he starts to demonstrate. "and then you loop this one over-" he was cut off by a baby-like scoff and a sassy eye roll from his kid. "daddy, can't you hurry up now?" he sighs, obliging and wondering where she had inherited the impatience from (ahem him ahem).
the car ride to the mall was peaceful for the most part. vivi insisted on sitting in the passenger seat, not wanting to be away from her dad for a second. taesan focused on driving, opening a bag of crackers for her to munch on so she wouldn't start whining about the rumbling in her tummy. "daddy what ice cream are you gonna get?" she asks, crumbs falling out of her mouth and her voice muffled by the half-chewed crackers. "me? hm..." he thought deeply about the answer, the car going dark as they entered the tunnel that lead to the basement parking area. "i don't know yet. what are you getting, love?" his hands graze the steering wheel, waiting for a response from the girl. "guess!" she exclaimed, hands in the air and a huge smile on her face. "maybe...mint chocolate?" taesan has a smirk on his face, knowing full well that was the wrong answer. "ew! no way daddy...that's gross! yuck!" he chuckled, parking the car as it came to a halt.
"c'mon" the man said, bending down to unlatch her seatbelt and lifting her out of the car before shutting the door and locking it. vivi grabbed onto his hand, tumbling slightly as she walked beside him in a zig-zag pattern. "ice cream time!" the girl squeals, the cool air-conditioning of the mall sending small goosebumps to appear on her tiny legs beneath her denim skort. taesan shook his head, "we gotta have some lunch before ice cream, love. or else your mommy would be very angry" he looked down for a moment just in time to catch her dramatic frown, chuckling at her sudden change in demeanor. "but i want ice cream" the man sighs, patting a hand against her head when she moves to hug his leg. "i know, love. and i will get you your ice cream after lunch, okay?" the tiny han girl nods in understanding, "now let go of daddy's leg so i can walk, please?" this time she shook her head, a playful and menacing smirk on her lips as she hugged him tighter. taesan clicks his tongue, beginning to waddle down the mall like an idiot.
"han vivienne...you will be the death of me"
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"ice cream time!" vivienne repeats for the second time that day, shooting her dad a smile which he returned happily. "ice cream time!" he says as well, eyes widening slightly when she tugs him forward, walking so fast and pulling his arm with her. "okay, what flavour do you want, love?" taesan asks, his hands on his hips as he looked over all the options. "i can't see..." the girl mumbles, silently asking for her father to carry her up to his level. "oh, right, my bad" he panics, hastily bending down to lift her up. "um...i want...stawbelly!" her tiny voice breaks his heart into pieces, "you want strawberry? yeah? alright, one strawberry and one salted caramel, please" he's about to put her down but she refuses to let go of him (clingy baby TT). taesan laughs softly, "i gotta put you down so i can pay, love" he whispers, carefully bending down so that she could stand on her own.
"thank you, daddy" vivi says, smiling as she takes one large bite out of her strawberry ice cream. "you're welcome, love. is it yummy?" he asks, scooping up a spoonful of from his own cup. she nods joyfully, "mhm! it's delichuz!" the man furrows his eyebrows, "you mean, delicious?" he asks, trying to understand his daughter's baby talk. "yeah duh! that's what i said, silly" taesan laughs once again at his child's loud personality, grabbing a tissue to wipe away her dessert-stained cheeks as she messily slurped up the last of her sweet treat. "look here, i'm gonna send mommy a picture" he says, smiling when she strikes a silly pose. "mommy is gonna be so jelly!" she states and he nods, stacking up their empty cups to toss in the bin later.
"so...where to next, love?"
there's only one correct answer to that question. only one place in the whole mall, apart from the ice cream parlor, that feeds purpose to sweaty three year olds like han vivienne. a brightly lit store, rows and rows of all kinds of objects displayed clearly on shelves. every kid's dream, a place they would live in if they could, a place where all their parents end up spending the last of their monthly salaries in...
the toy store.
i'm not sure if you've noticed, but han vivienne was no ordinary child. she was a menace, a spoiled brat, and had absolutely no shame. especially if it meant her loving father had to pay for it. and whatever happens at the toy store was no exception.
vivi squeals as she lets go of her father's hand to run into the store, the tall man following closely behind her. "hello there, what can i help you with?" one of the young ladies near the door asks, bending down to the kid's level to chat with her. "where are all the barbies?" she asks back sweetly, batting her eyelashes innocently as she spoke. "ah, right this way!" the lady energetically says, guiding the little menace over to where all the dolls were. "yay!" she cheers, her dad still walking behind her in a much slower pace. "ack!" she shouts, struggling to reach the beach-themed set that stood in a higher shelf, signaling for the employee to help her out a little. "oh, i got it, i'll help you hold it" the lady offers, earning a squeaky thank you in response. a few minutes go by and what was the one barbie doll in the worker's hand, had become a stack of five more similar toys.
"are you sure you want all of these?" the lady asks, her eyes widening when little vivienne hands her one final doll set. "mhm! don't worry, lady...daddy will pay for it! right, daddy?" the girl turns to grin widely at taesan. taesan who's cheeks were bright red from slight embarrassment, and eyebrows were tilted slightly so as to apologize to the poor employee his daughter had been dragging around. "okay, that's enough toys, vivi...now help the kind lady bring them to the register, please" his daughter nods, grabbing two out of the seven toys she had picked out and beginning to trot over to the counter to check out.
"yay!! thank you, daddy! i wuv you!" the little girl cheers, wrapping her tiny arms tightly around her father's leg. taesan chuckles, patting her head softly, "of course, love" the lady at the cash register smiles as she begins to pack away the toys into a paper bag. "her mom must be jealous..." she says, causing the man to furrow his eyebrows in confusion. "what do you mean?" he asks, putting his wallet back into the pocket of his jeans. "i mean, your daughter looks exactly like you...makes me wonder what her mother looks like, sorry if it came off rude or anything...that's not my intention" taesan shakes his head, "no, you're alright..." he trails off, "you're right though. my wife tells me everyday how similar vivi is to me..." he continues, turning to look at the miniature version of himself who seemed to have found a mirror to stare into. "she's a daddy's girl, huh?" the lady asks, making him laugh. "i guess so..."
the conversation ends there. "here you go!" the cashier says, handing the man the big bag of toys he had just paid for. "thank you so much. hey vivi, you wanna come hold your things?" taesan watches as vivienne twirls around and waddles over to him. "hm...that's okay daddy, you can hold it!" the cashier bursts into laughter at the conversation exchanged between the father and daughter. "that sass...that's all from her mother" he tells the lady, shaking his head in defeat as the little menace grabbed a hold of his large hand, the bag of toys in the other one. "come again soon!" the employee says, waving goodbye at the little girl and her parent. vivienne grins one last time,
"don't worry, lady. we will!"
⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖
the father and daughter duo are back home now. the rest of the evening was spent happily bonding within the comfort of their home. he had listened to her endless yapping about all the new toys she got today, smiling sheepishly at the little chatterbox he contributed in creating as they sat together on the floor by the television in their living room. then he put on her favourite show on the tv, letting her sit in silence with her stuffed animals as he waltzed over to the kitchen to prepare their meal for dinner. it began to rain outside so he had his doubts on ordering in, not wanting to burden the poor delivery man who would have to travel in this kind of weather. so instead, taesan opted for some instant noodles for the night- with no objections from his mini me either, of course.
"daddy lookie! i can slurp the noodles like uncle woonhak!" vivi says, tapping at her dad's shoulders to grab his attention. "oh yeah?" the older one asks, watching closely as the girl practically inhaled a forkful of noodles, causing her to choke up a bit from the broth. "ahem" she coughed and taesan panicked for a second, getting up to fill her disney princess cup with some water for her to drink. once they had finished up their dinner, the man carried his daughter back over to the couch, turning the show back on to occupy her while he put away the dishes and cleaned up in the kitchen. he quickly took out the trash as well, knowing his wife was coming home late tonight and deciding to do all the housework so she didn't have to worry about it the way she tended to.
"vivi, my love" he called out, walking over to where she was playing with her dolls on the couch. "come on, let's take a shower and get ready for bed" he said, beginning to put away some of the toys that remained scattered on the carpeted floor. "but we can still wait for mommy later, right?" the kid mumbles, her voice quieting down from the tiredness that finally began to seep through her little body. he smiled, nodding as he stretched his arms out to carry her into his arms. the dad's heart melted and his face softened as his baby nuzzles deep into his chest. he leans down to press a soft kiss against the very top of her head, holding her tight as they made their way over to the master bathroom to run a bath.
the warm bath paired with the combinations of lavender scented baby oils were enough to get the sleepy kid into a state ready for slumber. however, the purple pajama-wearing child remained stubborn, insisting that she could stay awake long enough to greet her mother when she got home. all taesan could do was laugh, knowing her words were far from the truth. but he nods along anyways, following her into the master bedroom and laying down under the comfortable covers. "i want Tayo!" vivienne requests, watching happily as the man puts on the show on his tv. she sings along to the intro song silently, encouraging for her dad to do the same too. soon, the kid who swore she wasn't tired yet began to drift off to sleep. her head resting against his chest, his fingers softly stroking through her freshly washed hair.
taesan didn't care to change the channel on the television. honestly, he was beginning to like the show about the little bus far more than he'd admit. the soft snoring coming from his daughter sent a feeling of warmth to engulf his own body. the man's gaze moved from the tv screen over to his precious child, he pressed a loving peck on her forehead, smiling to himself as she shifted in her sleep. "i love you, my mini me" he whispers, just a decibel louder than his heartbeat. a minute more went by and the creak of the front door causes his ears to perk up.
"taesan? vivi? i'm home!" yn's familiar voice echoes through the walls, a smile unconsciously sneaking onto his lips. "we're in the bedroom!" the man yelled out as quietly as he could so he wouldn't wake the one snuggled against his chest. "hey, darling" he says when his wife finally enters the room, she looked exhausted, must've been a long day at work. "she asleep already?" the mother asks, leaning down to pat her daughter's slumberous head. her husband nods, sitting up carefully to catch her lips in his own. yn smiled into the kiss, as did he when they began to separate again. "so..." the woman begins, taking off her work clothes as she prepares herself for a shower. "what did you two do all day?" her question lingers in the air as she disappears into the bathroom, leaving taesan alone with the images of today replaying in his head.
"well, for starters..." he began, moving so that vivienne was fully laying on the bed. "we went to the mall today.." taesan gets up, following his wife into their shared bathroom. yn looked at him through the mirror, giggling when he wrapped his arms around her from behind and pressed sweet kisses against her neck. "mhm...and then?" she asks, telling him to continue as she began to remove her makeup. "oh, and then that daughter of ours...she totally ran my wallet dry at the toy store..."
there was a pause for dramatic effect.
"again?!"
the end.
⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖
HEHEH girl dad! taesan ☹️💘 i love him i love him i love him!!!!!! also han vivienne is such a cutesy name for a girl aw <3 anyways this fic made me kind of softy soft soft i might cryyyy 😭 hope u enjoyed, reblogs n feedbacks r so appreciated!! tysm for reading! love, kona.
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sexycraisinthanos · 11 months ago
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Actually I’m gonna talk about this, controversy aside, Hazbin Hotel is so fucking lackluster. From character design, as I've previously mentioned, to animation
Vivziepop had years to work on these character designs and this is the best she could do on a LARGER animation budget?
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I’d hardly even call them redesigns since you couldn’t even tell they’re different than when they first debuted (save for Vaggie)
And the actual animation just looks so stiff and like it’s a fan made thing
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Versus the pilot from FOUR YEARS AGO
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The reasoning for the “simpler” designs is to make them easier to animate but they aren’t that complex of designs and I’m no animator I’ll admit so maybe it makes it easier for musical numbers, but part of the appeal of the pilot was the hand-drawn loose style
Plus, any interesting design choices that were there were taken away in the Amazon show
Not to mention that almost every character is supposed to be based off an animal and you can't fucking tell what animal they're supposed to be unless you fucking google it
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THIS is supposed to be a spider. If I didn't know who he was, i wouldn't even know that. Maybe it's not a universal opinion, but I feel like if your character is supposed to be based off of something, it should be a little more obvious than four arms and dots under his eyes which are actually another set of eyes.
He's a gay man, who's also a sex worker/porn star, which can be told by his outfit, but none of his outfit looks good together. You've got two sets of gloves, knee high boots, a mini skirt, and a blazer with a bowtie AND a choker.
It is a perfect outfit to tell you everything you need to know about him because it's a fucking mess. It looks like when your kid dresses up in your fancy clothes to take pictures in but nothing goes together because the kid is 5 and doesn't understand that just because you like the clothes doesn't mean they go together.
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This is apparently a deer, though I've heard he's based off a w*ndigo so he wouldn't be deer-based, WHICH IS STILL BAD BTW HE'S GOT SO MANY RACIST PARTS OF HIS CHARACTER ELEMENTS BUT I'M NOT EDUCATED ENOUGH IN THOSE ASPECTS TO TALK ABOUT IT
And the outfit is just...bad. Aside from the tiny antlers that can barely be seen behind the hair, there's nothing cohesive about it. There's his coat that doesn't match the era he's from, the bob cut, the microphone which doesn't look like a microphone, the neckline that makes no sense, the random stripes on his shirt that you can't really tell what they're supposed to be (suspenders and a tie? a print on the shirt?), the actual tee shirt he appears to be wearing underneath his coat, the gloves, and again the FUCKING BOWTIE WHY DO EVERY ONE OF HER MALE CHARACTERS HAVE BOWTIES IS SHE ALLERGIC TO NECKLINES?
Not to mention the colors of the show and the characters. Vivziepop is under the impression that since they're all in Hell, they need to have a color scheme. Or at least the more important characters do. And what color scheme is that? Red and black.
But you know what else has red and black?
EVERY
SINGLE
BACKGROUND
IN THE SHOW
And he just blends in with the background. Which is not something you want a character to do if they're one of the more important characters in your show.
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m4lted-cr3am · 21 days ago
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Thoughts on the Wicked: For Good trailer
Okay so I'm not good at writing down my thoughts so this is just gonna be bullet points of what I liked and disliked.
Liked:
Cynthia's once again stunning vocals + crumb of Elphie's new song.
NO GOOD DEED SNIPPETS
Elphie looks bad ass asf
Seeing more of Elphaba doing magic
Glinda's face as she's putting on the crown (by far one of my favourite things about Ari's performance is her facial expressions and the way they communicate a million things whilst saying nothing at all)
MORE NO GOOD DEED
The writing in the sky referencing "Surrender Dorothy"
Elphaba looking stunning once again
The tiny peak we get at how much they're raising the stakes for March of the Witch Hunters
FOR GOOD FHIFTIDIYFKHFHK
SHE KEPT THE PAMPHLET
THE POPPY FIELD SCENE LIVES
The "think of what we can do, together" role reversal 😭
That wedding veil is stunning.
More crumbs of lesbian icon Dorothy Gale
Wonderful looks wonderful.
THEM ON THE BROOM SWING THING IN THAT PINK ROOM THEY LOOK LIKE THEY'RE ON A DATE
Brrr is so cute 🥺
Have I mentioned how much I love Ari's face acting?
The way "And I've had so many friends" is changed to Glinda intentionally trying to bring humour to an emotionally devastating situation instead of playing her sadness for laughs was such a great choice.
Those tears are a representation of what all of us will be like in 24 weeks.
ITS SO EPIC! I didn't think it could get more epic than defying gravity last film but I was clearly wrong. (Btw I would totally watch 2 hours and 40 minutes of just Elphie zooming around Oz on that broom)
Disliked:
Glinda's wedding dress is so damn basic and boring! I'm sorry but there is no way you can ever convince me that Glinda would ever wear something that… Blah…
Ari I love you as Glinda but that line delivery in the opening scene was NOT good.
Showing Morrible causing the cyclone.
I still hate the wedding dress (at least the veil somewhat saves it)
Spoiling Fiyero turning on the wizard/siding with Elphaba, not the biggest spoiler for those who haven't seen the show but maybe don't set up a subplot in a trailer if you're just gonna show how it ends.
That they showed the For Good ending hug. I can forgive the other stuff. But they absolutely should NOT have shown this. That should've been saved when the movie actually came out, and that's what I was expecting them to do. I personally would've preferred experiencing this huge moment in Elphaba and Glinda's final minutes together when watching the movie, not in the film's very first trailer.
Overall words cannot describe my excitement for this movie!!!!!
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stealerofthe2ndbraincell · 8 months ago
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Had a rough morning, so I ended up rewatching Zanzibar at like 5AM.
And oh Henry you beautiful, beautiful dumbass....
(This is just me rambling btw lol)
I see people give Viktor in Once Removed a lot of (light hearted) flack for the utter shit show that was his assassination attempt. Whilst I do agree, the circumstances in that episode (through May's meddling with the door and everything else about where he ended up lol) were accidentally set up against him throughout.
How he handled it was definitely debatable (although without that we wouldn't have gotten the beautiful silk, pink dressing gown<3), but he certainly did have a disadvantage.
HENRY, HOWEVER, HAS NO EXCUSE.
Whilst a mystery twin brother being in the exact same hotel as Rico and swapping rooms with him was out of Henry's control, it really shouldn't have gotten to that point.
Henry is introduced as Rico's diligent literal security advisor and seemingly main line of defence most of the time. Ergo, Henry should be the main and only person that knows where Rico is at all times, especially if he has plans to MURDER HIM.
Not only that, but he also straight up just did not have a plan. 💀
In fairness, Henry does start to work out a plan. E.g. He wonders if he should create a story involving trying to "save" Rico before backing out of it, considers even thinking of an alibi at all and then questions if he has left his microphone on before committing the act. The problem is this is literal moments before he was "planning" to kill Rico. And none of them are thought through.
"No longer in the shadows can I lurk"
Henry leaves his room to attack at that point with no plan (that line may be implying that he is acting earlier than he should), completely forgetting if he left his microphone on (which would reveal EVERYTHING), and also having not even made a start on considering an alibi.
Henry's regicide "plan" feels mostly based on impulse and a severe lack of restraint.
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He also straight up does not know how alibis work.
If Rico died whilst Henry was at the hypnotist's show, then he would have a fairly good alibi, but Henry plans is to kill him now AFTER - which destroys it entirely.
And he completely switches gears the moment Tracey ("Red") becomes an option.... and chooses to pay her to drug Rico so he can kill him later... Giving him a loose end that could definitely be traced back to him and kind losing an easy person to frame.
Whilst he couldn't fully plan around the mystery twin (although, being the security advisor of a literal Prince, Henry may have had access to potential "threats" of Rico's there. He even mentions said "enemies" to warn the guy at the start), Henry had all the resources at his fingertips to pull off the murder cleanly (unlike Viktor who had everyone else and a wrong victim in the way) and seems to not be aware of it or actively squanders it.
And then he completely screws any chance of getting away with a murder by needlessly threatening Rico's biological Dad to get to him with multiple witnesses in a public hotel hallway!!!
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I'm almost convinced this Regicide bit was just an excuse for Henry to get some stabbing done with his tiny, bloody baby knife.
I do love it all though ofc.
I like to picture Zanzibar taking place just after various silly, failed murder attempts where Rico survives out of pure obliviousness à la Debbie and Fester's honeymoon in Addams Family Values (with a sprinkly of utter incompetence on Henry's side).
Also bonus bit that I find kinda cute nice:
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I love a dumbass. <3
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merakiui · 1 year ago
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Hello! It is me, the anon that asked where you are in Penacony. I am also Amethyst Anon! I’ve sent ideas and stuff before about other stuff, mostly TWST, through anon cause I’m shy, but I want to be more involved with my blog so here I am off anon :3
Anyways, Sunday has officially rotted my brain. I lost interest in HSR because the Luofu storyline was kinda…meh to me, but seeing all this stuff about Sunday on tumblr made me go 👀 While I did have some things spoiled for me, playing it was still sooooo fun and every time he was on screen I was blushing hehe
Anyways, he has so much yandere potential that I came up with so many ideas that I might (?) want to pursue with writing once I muster up the courage to start writing again (I’ve got a difficult relationship with it rn 😫). I jotted them down in my phone and I just have to share them lest I explode. Dw there won’t be anything that spoils past where you said you’re at!
Okay, so there’s that ability that Halovians have that he referred to as tuning. When he used it to interrogate Aventurine I was scared and horny, and thought about Sunday using it on his darling. I don’t remember exactly how it works so this is at the top of my head but! everyday he’ll ask “Question: do you love me?” and of course you say no. It’s easy to answer that because it’s the truth. But one day when you say “no” you feel a searing pain in your head, like you’re being torn apart, and you’re horrified to realize that for the first time since he used his tuning ability on you, you’re lying. It doesn’t hurt to admit the truth (literally - the pain instantly goes away) but you feel your heart breaking forever…
I think that little diorama of Golden Hour he has in the pavilion technically belongs to every head in the family, but I like to think Sunday is fixated on it the most. Imagine he puts you there as punishment. Okay, you don’t want to spend time with him? (And he has so little free time, how could you be so cruel?) Into the makeshift doll house you go! He’ll loom over you like a giant and you can try to run and hide from his sight, but he can easily pick you up like you’re a little mouse, gently laying you on the palm of your hand. I think he’d like to undress and dress you while you’re so tiny, you’re his little delicate doll >:3c
So the part where the crew win the Soulglad competition and Sunday makes them answer three questions based on his life experiences, I felt like I was being personally targeted 😫 The fact that I had to choose one option or the other, with no room for nuance, and that for the first two I actually AGREED with him made me feel like he was psychologically tormenting me. Self aware Sunday who knows he’s in a video game??? I don’t think he’d need his tuning ability to manipulate you. All he has to do is talk in order to get you questioning yourself.
And perhaps my most unhinged idea…Sunday using tuning to make you cum without even having to touch you :3c
Hehe…those are my thots! I have so much more but they have to do with rest of the Penacony story! Btw the photo of him in the confessional…I instantly saved on my phone. Have you ever seen a man more beautiful?…And I also saved a screen shot of what Himeko said about him…
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…Dom!Sunday aksiejskakakwnsnqjnan
( ˶°ㅁ°) !! Amethyst anon, hello!!!!!!! It is lovely to chat with you off anon!! I must thank you for always sending such wonderful thoughts hehe. <3
I am officially trapped in the Sunday pit. It's like Kikuo's Hole-Dwelling, only this is the Sunday-Dwelling, an inescapable pit in which all are destined to love him forever. Every day is Sunday if you're obsessed like me. OTL hsr cooked such an exquisite meal. I fear no character can compete with Sunday,,,, he is perfect. ✨
I'm happy you could enjoy Penacony despite being spoiled! The entirety of the Luofu storyline was spoiled for me, but I still enjoyed it because I got to fight Phantylia. She's so pretty uuwuwaaa. >w< that aside, I was also blushing whenever there was a scene with Sunday. I've taken so many screenshots of him,,, it's crazy how one man can rot my brain so intensely, but this is no different than my adoration for Scara and Azul. orz
The tuning ability AAAAAAAAAAA. That entire scene was so tense. I loved it. Poor Aventurine really didn't stand a chance. T_T Sunday plays 4D chess; it's impossible to beat him. That's such a brilliant idea,,,, Sunday using his tuning ability on you. The way you slowly but surely adopt different thoughts as your brain feels like it's burning. Inevitably, just as birds crash to their deaths, you will love him.
The Golden Hour model..... omg I had the same thought when Aventurine was shrunk and put inside it. Sunday who peers down at you and you're nothing more than a tiny ant from his perspective, perfectly palm-sized. He would treat you like a little doll and put you in all kinds of outfits, and you have no choice but to remain still because he could crush you between two fingers if he so pleases. Maybe he builds a small cage for you so that he can keep you at his bedside when he sleeps. :D
THOSE QUESTIONS!!!! I couldn't believe it, but I was also agreeing with him. It was a moment of, "Hold on. Let him keep talking." When Sunday also said that all days should be rest days (Sundays), I realized he may have been cooking with that one. ;;;;; self-aware Sunday is such a yummy thought... he's not asking the Trailblazer these questions; he's asking you, the person behind the Trailblazer. aaaaa it really is psychological torment. >_<
Tuning to make you cum without even lifting a finger or touching you...... omg that's genius. The way he'd be so coy and self-satisfied,,, smiling at you... maybe even doing that cute, sinister chuckle of his under his breath. He would be so mischievous with that once he realizes just how wonderful it is seeing you come apart from something like this. Sunday who becomes a little too attached to teasing you!!!!
AAAAAA your thoughts are all so scrumptious...... orz orz I'm eating them up like they're to be my last meal. The confessional scene is burned into my brain forever. Even now, I'm still shocked that such a beautiful character like Sunday exists. Nothing can ever surpass the greatness that is the confessional scene and all of Sunday's religious symbolism!!!!! >:D
AND THAT HIMEKO QUOTE!!!!! I also saved it as soon as I read it,,,, the "strong conviction and a desire for dominance." Himeko, you cannot do this to me.... making such an observation like that!!!!! It's dangerous for my heart. (๑﹏๑//) dom Sunday........... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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ryuichirou · 1 year ago
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Replies
Alright, a couple of regular replies, and then some about Jade!
eh-nonnie-mouse asked:
I'm so nervous to de anon but your newest comic of Floyd/Idia comic is too cute! I'm sure Floyd totally doesn't have any ulterior motives once he realizes what position they are in.
This is such a silly thing to be nervous about since I write problematic content (mostly incest) and enjoy your Shroudcest stuff a lot. You have such a beautiful art style and I am so happy my anon blurbs (the Seb/Ceil and Fin/Ciel and some other NSFW stuff) make you two somewhat happy 😊. I know I don't interact with a lot but I hope to drop more chats in non anon.
Thank you so much! We really appreciate it <3
Floyd is super invested in that game he’s playing, but once they’re in this very convenient position, he’ll show Idia how much of a multitasker he can be >:3c He’ll impress him for sure.
And even though it’s going off-anon is an anxious thing to do, it’s good to see a person behind all those asks :) Nice to meet you!
Anonymous asked:
(Referring to your fem twst art) I absolutely NEED to see fem!Silver in Aurora’s 1959 commoner outfit! She would look so pretty!!! 🥺😍🥺😍
Ahh SHE WOULD, ANON, SHE REALLY WOULD!! And honestly this is my favourite outfit of Aurora.
I don’t have anything to show right now, but I really hope to draw fem!Silver in this dress. Even though she probably spent the majority of her time wearing pants…
Btw thank you for loving my fem!Silver, it means a lot ;w;
Anonymous asked:
In this household we love Jade ❤️
In all seriousness the fandom doesn't give him enough love, Jade is always the other woman when it comes to ships and worst of all it's always Floyd his own twin brother that gets the girl anyways. Make a donation to save Jade from second male lead syndrome 😢/j.
Ahh, poor Jade. Always a bridesmaid, never the bride… I can picture him sobbing quietly and wiping his tears with a tiny little handkerchief… :”(
To be fair, I think Jade finds his position quite advantageous: if everyone always pays attention to Floyd, he gets to not only act as if he isn’t the same when it comes to being chaotic and dangerous, but also have this element of surprise!
He also doesn’t flirt as obviously and as often as Floyd does, so we can blame Jade’s sneaky ways to collect his bottoms lol
Anonymous asked:
by chance, do you think Jade would like using idia as a lab rat? aka feeding him all kinds of mushrooms to test their effects and inevitably doing the affection +100 nighttime-activities command with a very drugged up idia
Anonymous asked:
I wonder if Jade being the awful guy he is (lovingly) would test out every single kink from A-Z on Idia?
Those are two different asks, but I feel like they are kind of connected because in my head to Jade testing out kinks and using someone as a lab rat are pretty much the same thing lol And to answer both of them: YES, Jade would absolutely do that if he had an opportunity. I guess the second option is more possible because it seems less dangerous, and I wanted to say that it would come first, but…. Honestly? With Jade it could go either way.
He could either start experimenting on Idia and it’d turn out sexual, or he’d start having sex with Idia, but then they’d end up experimenting somehow.
I don’t know what needs to happen for Idia to get stuck with Jade-the-shroom-guru and his tests, but Jade would be very excited. I mentioned it our other Jade/Idia posts, but: he would love to see if some mushrooms would change the colour of his hair or the way it burns. In this way, Idia is the most perfect lab rat ever – it’s so much fun! Not to mention how helpless Idia becomes when he’s drugged up… even more-so than he is usually~
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tunabesimpin · 2 years ago
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Hello, my Tuna! Congrats on the milestone! :3c I was so excited about this event when I saw it! Yuuta will def be going to the beach party. After all the crazy shit at NRC he is ready for a break. Since Vil has been helping him with his potions he invites his tutor as his plus one. He doesn't know how Vil will respond but Vil was happy to accept a day of relaxing in the shade and reading over both their scripts for Film Studies! He was a bit taken off guard as he was sure Yuuta would ask Leona. (Since they both know how he can be.) But Yuuta was aware Leona will already be there for the volleyball games so it is no big deal to invite someone else, right? RIGHT? WRONG. The two of them had barely been there an hour and Leona is already "fallen asleep on an intertube", forcing Yuuta to "save" him. Damn. It was just when Vil was about to apply sunscreen on Yuuta's back too! *sigh* After the drama, I imagine Yuuta and Vil (Who is properly dressed for the sun with a huge hat and sunglasses) spend the rest of the day watching the games and cheering on their friends. Yuuta offers some snacks to the players but the Savanclaw members def hogged them all quickly. Yuuta would even help some of the players after the games by treating/massaging their sore muscles. But as always Leona would probably take up most of their time. Eventually, Yuuta MIGHT even let him share a hammock with them later to shut him up. (Oh and fav color is green btw!) I hope this was enough info! Link to Yuuta's outfit HERE. They only have a lifeguard suit so you can imagine how that would go for them all day. ;-;
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Leona was jealous. Would he say it outloud? Never, but he most definitely was. Seeing Yuuta arrive with Vil was one thing, but not having been personally invited by Yuuta was another. In order recieve retribution for this crime, Leona had made it his duty to be as bothersome as he could.
Throughout the volleyball game, Leona played dumb. He'd somehow manage to shoot the ball out of court that just so happened to knock into Yuutas parasol. Yuuta gave an annoyed look as they fixed the parasol back into place and took a seat back down. Yuuta quickly got comfortable and attempted to get back to relaxing only for another ball to fly over. Yuuta could see what Leona was trying to do, but wasn't giving in and ignored the ball. Nothing seemed to drive Yuuta out from the umbrella at this point. He had one last trick up his sleeve, if they won't come to him, he'll just have to go to them.
He lazed over towards Yuuta, not saying a word as he blocked out the sun. Yuuta was the first to break the silence "... What is it?" Yuuta began to sit up, but the lion instead pushed them back down as he plopped his body down ontop of them. Leona grumbled as he got comfortable across Yuutas thighs "Needed a pillow."
Before Yuuta could try to push him off Leona was out. Guess all that extra pettiness was more tiring then he expected, but at last he got some attention. Even if it was a childish war, Yuuta couldn't help but pet over Leona's hair. Yuuta couldn't help but think his dumb antics were just a tiny bit cute.
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HELLOOO~ OMG THE ART YOU MADE WAS SO CUTE AND LEONAS FIT- All i could think of was the jacket from camp vargas XD He would wear a speedo too- Thank you for the congratz too! Aaaa i hope you can enjoy this! (Vil meanwhile is just like 😑 get a room- hHHSDEHB)
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reni-reads · 3 months ago
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Reni's Read Along: Peppermint Rose
I randomly found this weird children's book in a box in my attic - it's German, which is super odd because I didn't learn German until I was a teenager lol. Anyway, I figured I'd share about it because the art is really pretty!
only click "read more" if you don't care about spoilers please!
Right in the beginning we're introduced to a peaceful scene: Several girls are relaxing in a beautfiul garden, sipping ome tea, tending to flowers and cute animals...
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And look how pretty they are! Btw I love that there is an obvious main character (Peppermint Rose, the one on the right), but her friends Daisy, Lily and Violet are all equally pretty and their dresses and hats have just as much detail, and everyone has her signature flower! I love when magical girls in a group are all designed with equal detail and love.
Anyway...
Wait! It hasn't always been so peaceful!
So we get sent back into the past, which kicks off with introducing our main character Rose, and dare I say, I love her on the basis of her being a pretty blonde with pink as her signature color. Yes, I am that simple.
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And like, look at her. She's giving Elle Woods but as a child. You can't tell me she's not the most popular girl at school lol. Casually phoning her friends on her own phone in 1992! Girl is loaded okay.
Still, her rich parents can't protect her from suffering the worst fate known to women:
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Her TV doesn't work?! What about watching [insert popular 90's TV show] now???
And when Rose goes to investigate, it gets even worse. She gets kidnapped by a small old man called Dimmi and his dragophant called Petunia!
Yes. That's a thing. Because of the picture limit, you'll have to wait until the end to see wtf a dragophant is. For now let me say I'm very sure she's high on forbidden substances but hey I'm not gonna judge her. She has to put up with Rose after all, who is stuck up brat ngl.
She's supposed to save the kingdom of Bagoonya, and naturally, Rose is like "Hell nah wtf!" She quickly changes her mind though because she basically has no other option lol.
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And can we just agree that her knight's armor is absolutely fire? Likes yes, Dimmi is a kidnapper who cares about the safety of his child soldiers alright. Sadly she immediately ditches the armor, which, bad move girly.
So they travel for a while until they reach...
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A PIZZA PLACE?! Hell yes get your pizza, girl! 🍕
...
Aw bummer, t'was but a trap! :(
So they journey along for a bit and Rose actually undergoes some character development and realizes being an arrogant, self-centered brat isn't the way to be. So yay for the character development!
They reach the real destination, which looks a bit more sinister:
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And like. That evil queen is committed to the act. She said, "If I'm gonna be evil, I'm gonna do it right!" And I respect her for that.
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Like yes she is committed. As someone who looks more like the queen than our protagonist, I feel very connected to her. Spiritually, I mean.
So Rose finds out she can't fight her, so what's the plan? Drag your besties into the mess! But it's fine, cable TV is still down, so they're not missing anything anyway. Also, the way you can just tell that Rose is not only the protagonist but also the main character of her friend group lol.
So they defeat the evil queen with the power of gayness friendship (and a song...?). HOWEVER miss queen doesn't die, she just turns nice! She likes colors now, yay!
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Like okay let's pretend this isn't queer power, I guess.
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This is the mentor, Dimmi, btw! He's tiny but mighty (and obviously slightly insane) and he's just happy to be here lmfao.
But since it's a somewhat magical girl thing, I don't want to deprive you of their transformations, which are very pretty! From left to right we have:
Merry Mint Violet
Peppermint Rose
Lemon Drop Lily
Miss Vanilla Daisy
Those rabbit things are just there to be cute and sell plushies tbh, they are not relevant at all. And YES in the background we have queen Petunia the high dragophant!
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And like? The vibe. Those outfits. Those hats??? The final "Hell yes we saved the day"-handshake? I am HERE for it!
So yes, that was it! I did enjoy this way more than I should have lol. I loved the character of Rose a lot, the story was fine enough, and the girls are pretty. So yeah!
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c0smicdaisy · 9 months ago
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@philwillbeonfire
I am so sorry, I forgot to get back to you. Life got in the way 😅 And I wrote too much for the Tumblr comments so I'm putting everything here and hope the tag works
so my story idea was that dnp got a new house plant that is cursed but they don't know that yet (Phil got it from a sketchy website that sent him a targeted ad about galaxy-plants that grew beautiful flowers looking like space or something and they were heavily discounted AND offered next day shipping for FREE so being capital-lester™ of course he bought one). so the story is basically like a "day in our life" with the players first objective to "get dressed" (insert cute but short little dress-up game with dan's wardrobe being all black except that one "everyday sunshine" shirt phil made him wear in the charity stream and Phil's green jogging shorts that Dan keps insisting didn't count as "sharing clothes" bc he wouldn't be seen dead outside in those). (and Dan saying no in increasingly snarky comments to every single outfit option except one that's all black)
(also the bedroom would be one room but two very separate beds like in the first animal crossing game, if you know what i mean. and Dan's bed has that weird bar that's for "pillows", Phil's doesn't)
the next objective would then be "make cereal".
Phil obviously spills cereal on the floor and the cereal paints a pentagram on the tiles. But Phil being the clumsy person that he is slips in the cereal-milk puddle before he or Dan can see it.
next objective would be "water house plants" and when the player walks through the phouse, Phil remarks how he's wondering where the Golden Pig is and if Dan hid it again (and Dan's like "I did NOT. The viewers would end me.") and they move on.
Them getting into a fight about Phil leaving the cupboard doors open (but it wasn't him, it was the cursed houseplant)
And Dan asking about that weird new plant Phil got and "Wasn't it just a tiny sprout yesterday?" when now it's a huge monstrosity taking over the guest bedroom.
the pheal could be giving the player the objectives btw
the day keeps escalating with the door ringing and them going "ah, must me the silicone i ordered for the tour" but then there's just a pile of pitch-black leaves when they open the door.
next objective: "film a gaming video" (could include a Dil side-quest bc they film the sims) and there are interferences on the screen showing the golden pig and "help me" or something and Dan screaming "Did you see that?!" and nearly falling off his chair
next objective could then be "find the golden pig" which they do in the claws of a galaxy-plant-demon, complete with a suddenly dark room, candles everywhere, a pentagram on the floor like dnp craft.
they have to fight against the plant-demon to save the golden pig
the fight itself could either be a mini game pokemon-, mario- or DDR-style
(to make the fight more unhinged make Dan changes into his Sister Daniel outfit like he's a Winx fairy or something and Phil puts on that motorbike jacket bc they're stronger in those forms 😂😂)
some additional features could include:
- Changeable window cover-ups in the gaming channel room.
- when the player clicks on the front door, phil says "go outside? no thank you" and dan just says "ew, why would I do that?".
- the giant Dil head lying somewhere in the phouse and the eyes follow you when you move
- Phil leaving snacks on the gaming channel room table that he can interact with
I think that's everything i got for now 😂 I'm very excited to see what you create, please keep me updated!
i was listening to dan and phil beats and like... where is the dnp rpg video game? cute and cozy little pixel rpg that turns into a horror game mid-way à la dnp craft where you have to save the golden pig from being sacrificed to some eldritch creature. with the pheal™ as tag-along that gives you tips along the way and dil howlter that you get to play in a secret side quest when collecting all 50 announcements moose (mooses? meeses? idk) that are hidden throughout the story. and yes dan and phil are two separate characters but you do play them both at once.
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lovebugism · 2 years ago
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❛ i’m telling you all of a sudden, but it isn’t new to me. i love you. ❜ with our boy Steve Harrington please?
i wrote this after watching little women, so this is like that one laurie and amy scene but stranger things coded <3 hope you like it!! (this is 5k words btw and barely proofread 🫣)
The R.V. smells like coopery blood, alternate dimension muck, and nine teenagers who haven’t showered in three days. But despite all that, Steve Harrington is next to you, smiling. 
As if there’s anything worth being happy about now. 
He tells you about a dream with a hopeful gleam in his honey eyes, like he believes it’ll all come true — like death is staring him in the face. “I know it’s silly, but I… I always dreamed I’d have this really, really big family. I’m talking like, uh— a full brood of Harrington’s. I don’t know, five… Maybe six kids?”
“Six?” you repeat with an incredulous laugh. You turn your body in the passenger seat to face him more, shoulder pressing into the worn pleather. You’ve got your brows raised to your hairline in shock at his admission and a beam on your face you don’t realize is there.
“Uh-huh. Six little nuggets. Three girls, three boys,” he says with an assured nod. There’s a distant smile hinting at the edges of his lips, and he looks at you with it for a moment before turning back to the road again. 
“And every summer, I figured all of us Harrington’s, we’d pack into something like this, and… just see the country. You know, the Rockies, the Grand Canyon, maybe Yellowstone. We’d end up in some beachside town in California and spend a week parked in the sand, maybe learn how to surf or something.”
You can picture the dream so effortlessly, almost like it’s one you’ve had yourself. 
In some ways, you did.
Steve Harrington was the kind of boy that filled you with butterflies and childlike daydreams. It was more innocent than lusting, more significant than a teenage crush. There was a time you’d wanted to be with him so badly that you could barely breathe. It kept you up at night, fantasizing about a future with a boy that didn’t want you. It haunted your dreams just as often.
You were, perhaps a bit begrudgingly, a part of that stereotype — a girl who wanted all of the things adults thought girls wanted. You longed for a pretty white dress and a husband that cried when you walked down the aisle. You wanted a small house with a white picket fence, a home that’s always loud with laughing children and barking dogs and loving parents.
It was a future you only wanted with Steve.
But he didn’t love you. Not the way he loved Nancy.
Not the way he still loves Nancy.
It’s not a crime he needs to confess to for you to know he’s guilty of it. You can see it written all over his face, in the way he talks about his future family and flits his gaze from the winding backroad up to the rearview mirror to look at her. He’s picturing her in his head the way you picture him in yours.
Knowing someone else is a part of this dreamt-up family and not you is a bitter pill to swallow.
It has you looking back too, at the gang of ragtag soldiers you’re about to save the world with. You glance over your shoulder at all of them, finding them dozing or outright sleeping in the back of the R.V. 
You don’t blame them. The past few days have been hell.
You’re just glad Max has finally found a moment of peace. The redhead lazes between Lucas and Dustin on the couch in the very back. She rests her head on the former boy’s soldier, but you can’t tell if she’s sleeping or not. Lucas has his eyes closed but a smile on his face as he lays his cheek on the crown of her head.
Dustin, on the other hand, looks dreadfully out of place among the two lovebirds. His head is tilted back and his mouth is wide open. Soft snores spill from his throat.
Erica, Robin, and Nancy all sit at the tiny table beside the tinier kitchen. Their heads are either resting on their folded arms or pressing against the window.
The small cushion adjacent to the couch is taken up wholly by Eddie. 
Your Eddie.
His long legs are spread and his back is slouched against the side of the R.V. He’s taking up every bit of room the thing has to offer, which wasn’t very much to begin with. His pink lips are parted and slightly chapped. He blows soft exhales from them that make his chest rise and fall with even breaths. 
Your hands begin to ache with the want to run them through his wild strands of hair, to ease his head to your chest and let the sound of your heartbeat chase away the nightmares that threaten to plague him.
You want so badly to sleep alongside him, but you know that slumber won’t come as easily to you.
Despite the exhaustion that weighs down your tired bones, whenever you close your eyes, you can only see Chrissy’s mangled body on the ceiling of Eddie’s trailer. The image of broken bones and sucked-out eye sockets is stained on the back of your mind.
It’s something you’ll never forget. Not in a billion, trillion lifetimes.
You’re scared you won’t ever sleep peacefully again.
But you’re glad Eddie’s finally resting. Even if you can’t. 
And maybe that’s what love is.
…Love.
You almost can’t believe you’re calling it that. It’s not like you’ve told him as much or anything. You haven’t been together very long, only a few months, but you’re not sure what else to call this feeling. Is it normal for you to want to fight the most powerful dark wizard known to man with your bare hands as long as it means keeping Eddie safe?
The realization that you’re actually moving on from Steve is perhaps more shocking. You were starting to think you’d be fawning over him for the rest of your life, destined to be alone forever while he got married and had kids. But then Eddie came out of nowhere. He swept you off your feet without even trying.
You’d spent so much of your life in love with Steve that you’d forgotten how it felt to be loved. But Eddie reminded you, most ardently so, and you’ve never been happier.
And Steve can see all that.
He can see how you’ve gone to hell and back — quite literally — to keep Eddie safe. He can see how Eddie still manages to make you laugh so hard your stomach hurts, even though death looms overhead like a big, gray storm cloud. It almost makes him angry. Not at Eddie, exactly. And certainly not at you. He’s more so mad at himself for waiting until you were out of his grip entirely to need you like air.
Steve wasn’t an idiot; he knew how you felt about him. He’s known for years. But Nancy was the only girl in his purview for… an embarrassingly long amount of time. Maybe that’s because she didn’t want a single damn thing to do with him at first, and it wasn’t like Steve to back down from a challenge.
But you? You were easy. You were always going to be there. Your love was the only constant thing in his life.
And then it just… wasn’t.
It was like his center of gravity had suddenly shifted or his feet had been knocked out from under him. The loss of you, of something that was never his to begin with, jarred him like he’d been awake with most vigor. Now, he finds himself living in a nightmare — forced to watch you fall in love with someone else while he ebbs slowly from your mind.
You sit with him now — with Eddie — while he and Dustin fuck around with the shields they’d crafted out of tin garbage can lids. You watch them with a smile on your face even though you’re shaking your head at them and telling them something that Steve can’t hear. 
You’ve got a sword in your hand, and you sharpen its steel with a rock. The too expensive thing had been hanging on the wall at The War Zone, and you told Eddie you just had to have it. 
“I’ll just… take up extra shifts at Wayne’s shop,” you reason with a shrug, gaze never leaving the bladed weapon.
“Do whatever you want,” the brunette boy responded nonchalantly as he dropped four cases of ammunition into the red basket in your hand. He smiled down at you. “That just means I’ll get to see you more.”
It hurts Steve for you to be so far away from him. 
You’re just across the small clearing. All he’d have to do is walk over to you, really, but it’s more than just the distance. No matter how close he gets to you, or how far you get from Eddie, your soul’s always going to be with him. 
Steve will never have you like that, and that’s what hurts the most.
He thinks he’s doing a pretty good job of keeping a stiff upper lip about it. He thinks he’s keeping some deep, dark secret, having no idea that he’s all but spilling his guts to Robin. Honestly, he’s just trying to make conversations while they make homemade bombs out of gasoline and glass bottles, but he’s more than obvious. As per usual.
“How long do you think they’ve got?” Steve asks her out of the blue while he pours the chemicals through the funnel and into the flask Robin holds out for him. He doesn’t wait for an answer. 
“Because I thought they’d be over forever ago, you know? I mean… it’s Eddie. She’s, like, totally out of his league, right? But I’m pretty sure they just had an anniversary or something because I saw him buying flowers at Bradley’s Big Buy the other day…”
Robin opens her mouth to get a word in, but Steve just keeps on going going going.
“Unless you think they were for someone else? But let’s be serious, right? He’s a freak, but he’d never do that to her. I don’t know… Maybe he’s just the sorta guy that gets her flower for no reason, and it hasn’t been as long as it feels.”
“Well, I’m pretty sure they—”
“Let’s face it, if he’s doing that for her, they’re probably gonna make it, right?” the boy laughs bitterly to himself. He stuffs a rag into the neck of the bottle. “God, I’m such an idiot… Maybe if I’d done those things, I’d still—”
“I swear to god, if you say you’d still be with Nancy, I’m gonna punch you in the forehead,” Robin snapped suddenly. She’s got a foreign sternness to her tone and a glacial hardness in her blue eyes. She glares at him with it. “You don’t love Nancy, Steve. And she doesn’t love you. So stop going for the easiest thing when you know it’s not what you want.”
He sighs. He knows she’s right. “I just—”
“I get it. It sucks being lonely. I’m pretty sure I’m destined to spend the rest of my life alone, so join the club,” Robin smiles, a tad bit cynically, at him. “It sucks being in love with someone you can’t have. Trust me, I get it. But you need to move on.”
Steve swallows. He almost winces at the thought of that — of never having you. He shakes his head as though to get rid of the idea entirely. “I can’t… I can’t do that, Rob.”
“Then what are you gonna do, Steve?” she asks him with a mirthless, but not unkind laugh. 
She nods her head over to you. You laugh as Eddie spins you in his arms, both of you marveling at how you’ve just nailed a tree on the far edge of the clearing with the knives you’d thrown at it. Steve can hear the sound of your bubbly laughter from where he sits. Its brightness rivals that of the setting sun. 
“Look at her. She’s happy. Finally. So… Just let her be happy,” Robin advises with a shrug. She sets the glass bottle in the box with the rest of them. “I mean, we’re about to stop a dark wizard from ending the world, you know? Some of us probably won’t make it out—”
“Don’t say that,” Steve scolds.
“Some of us probably won’t make it,” she repeats, firmer this time, like it’s something he really needs to hear. “Something could happen to Eddie. Something could happen to her. Do you really want to be the selfish asshole that ruins what could very well be everyone’s last moments together just because you’ve got a bleeding heart?”
She’s being harsh. He knows it deserves it. Now is virtually the worst time to tell you everything on his mind — just when you’re starting to really settle down with Eddie and about to fight some wizard in an alternate dimension.
Something could happen to her. Those words left Robin’s mouth and stabbed him in the heart like a thousand unforgiving knives. Steve can’t fathom anything ever happening to you. Even with the end of the world, with all of you about to fight a war, it never crossed his mind. He can’t picture his life without you in it.
He can’t lose you without telling you how he feels — that he loves you, that he’s always loved you, and that he’s an oblivious idiot who learned that too late.
He can’t lose you at all.
So, against his better judgment and Robin’s sound advice, Steve abandons his work with her and hikes the relatively short distance over to you.
Eddie hasn’t yet let go of you. He keeps his arms tight around your waist and hugs you from behind, pressing the back of you to his chest while his chin sits along your shoulder. His chocolate eyes are stuck on the bullseye you’d carved into the bark of the tree on the far side of the clearing. The four knives you’d thrown, now stuck at the very center of the target, stare back at him.
“This is probably a bad time to be turned on, huh?” he half-jokes, chin bobbing against your shoulder with every word.
“Eddie!” you scold as you wrench yourself out of his grip.
Dustin’s face screws up from where he lounges on the grass beside the both of you. “Gross…” 
You walk away from the two boys to collect your knives from the poor oak tree. Eddie whistles lowly at you while you go — as though he’s never seen you in a pair of jeans before. You throw your middle finger over your shoulder at him in response.
That’s when Steve catches you, when you’re finally alone, and with a tiny white lie of needing to go back to the R.V. for more gasoline. You offer to walk with him, just like he figured you might, because none of you wants anyone to go off alone. Not with Vecna potentially watching you.
You walk alongside him through the thick wood, dodging low-hanging branches and uplifted roots. Steve notices the distant smile dancing on the corners of your lips — a beautiful stain Eddie’s left there.
“What are you gonna do?” he asks you suddenly. “You know, when this is all over?”
Your brows raise at his question, mouth falling softly agape and eyes widening with a far-off look. You look stumped by the simple inquiry, like it’s something you hadn’t thought of yet — of any of this being over.
“I don’t know…” you murmur. “Go back to work, I guess.”
Steve laughs. “We’re gonna save the world tonight, and you’re gonna be back in the office on Monday?”
“Who knows? Maybe I’ll take a sick day,” you joke, just to hear him laugh again.
He lifts a splintered tree limb to get it out of the way for you, then ushers you to walk ahead of him. You mutter a low and shy “thank you” as you walk beneath it. He lets the branch fall again as he follows behind you.
“What about you, then?” you retort. “What are you gonna do after? Since going back to a nine-to-five is so unreasonable.”
“Actually, I was thinking about writing an opera,” Steve quips with a straight face. “I would be the main character, of course—”
“You’re such an idiot,” you giggle with the shake of your head. The airy, sunshine sound makes him smile down at you. His honey-tined gaze swims with longing. You don’t catch it because you’re not looking back at him.
“What do you want me to do, then?”
You tilt your head to catch his stare. Your eyes sparkle and your brows arch with a look both soft and stern. “Honest answer?”
“Of course.”
“I think you should go work for your dad. Try and… I don’t know… make something for yourself—”
“Alright, that’s not…”
“—Because you can’t work at Family Video forever, Steve!”
“You’re not playing fair,” he concedes quietly, laughing under his breath and shaking his head.
He shouldn’t have expected anything less — you did preface an honest answer, after all. It doesn’t make him feel any less bad about it, though.
You’d supported Steve through a lot of shit. Every mindless fight with his parents, every breakup that had him swearing he would never love again, every aspect of his douchebag phase that almost ruined your friendship. You were always soft with him, but never dishonest.
So when he told you that his dad offered him a well-paying job in Indianapolis, it didn’t surprise him when you told him to take it. Despite all the other shit (his broken relationship with his father and his incessant daydreaming of settling down with Nancy, namely), you knew he wasn’t happy in Hawkins.
“Fuck your dad, Steve. This isn’t about him,” you’d said. “You should take it! Starting building your life in the city! And when you’re finally making more money than your stupid dad, you can rub it in everyone’s stupid faces.”
Steve, of course, ended up turning it down.
The salary was high — too high for a boy just out of high school — but he figured no amount of money was worth a wounded pride. 
Steve was scared that it was all a ploy, another thing his dad could hold over his head, another accomplishment that wasn’t really his. And, truth be told, he was less enthusiastic about leaving Hawkins without you. He isn’t quite sure where he’d be in life without you guiding him through a significant portion of it. It made it nearly impossible to picture a life that didn’t have you at the very center of it.
He happily took to be Robin Buckley’s schmuck at Scoops Ahoy (and then again at Family Video) and Dustin Henderson’s unofficial chauffeur instead. He didn’t mind being a casualty of rattrap small town as long as it meant he didn’t have to stray too far from you.
But here you were now, right next to him in this lonesome forest, and still so far away.
You meet his boyishly forlorn expression with a sincere, tight-lipped smile. “You know that I’m right.”
“Yeah, I do,” he scoffs in response. “That’s the problem.”
“When we kill Vecna and save Hawkins for the… thousandth time… You should take that job. I mean, screw your dad, you deserve a life outside of all this shit—”
“So do you,” he argues.
“I’ll make it without you, Harrington. I’ll try to, anyway,” you quip, turning your gaze up to the family of birds sitting high in an oak tree and wishing you were one of them. You shrug to yourself. “I’ll keep on being a secretary at the car shop… Maybe settle down with Eddie.”
That makes Steve stop dead in his tracks. He laughs bitterly to himself, a quiet and venom-coated scoff. “Right. Because living with his uncle in a one-bedroom trailer is such a dream.”
It makes you stop, too, and turn on your heel to face him. You’re surprised to find him so many paces back. Steve sees a flash of hurt strike like lightning across your features, but he’s too hurt to apologize.
“I get it,” you concede with a small, cynical smile. “You don’t like him. You never have. But… He’s a good guy, Steve. If you just got to know him—”
“It’s not that,” he mumbles, cutting you off before he has to suffer through a list of reasons why Eddie’s so much better than he is. The boy’s gaze falls to the forest floor. He kicks a bunch of green pine needles with the toe of his sneaker rather than meet your prying gaze.
“Then what is it?” you retort. “Because I was just trying to help you. I didn’t say to, like, hurt your feelings or whatever. I just know that you want a life in the city, with a big house and a whole bunch of kids—” A laugh spills from your lips as you remember the dream he was telling you about. “You want that picture-perfect life, right? Now you can have it!”
“You don’t know what I want,” he counters quietly.
“Oh, please. I know you better than you know yourself, Steve Harrington—”
“Break up with him,” he blurts.
Your playful smile fades almost instantly. Your eyes search his face for any hint that he might be joking, but all you find is a deeply heartbroken boy. His bushy brows are scrunched together, his eyes glimmering with unshed tears, a puppy-like hurt painting each of his features.
You match his expression of grief with your own. Your face scrunches with a mixture of confusion and sorrow. “Wh… What?” you manage to stutter after realizing you’d been holding your breath.
“I don’t want you to settle down with Eddie,” Steve confesses. A secret he thought he’d take to his grave before ever telling you.
You’re quiet. For several long moments, you’re eerily silent. Even the forest hangs on bated breath. Birds stop chirping, the wind stops blowing, leaves stop rustling. It’s just you and him and a great big world waiting on the both of you.
A frown pulls down the very corners of your mouth. Your eyes go glassy and wide, like a heartbroken baby, and your head jerks back softly, still defensive and unsure.
“Why?” you force through a tightening throat.
“Why?” Steve repeats, finding it somehow within himself to laugh. He takes several short strides to stand with you again. With him closer now, you can see the sadness in his smile and the flush that blotches his cheeks. “You know why…”
You only shake your head in response. The words are far harder to get out. “No…”
“I just… I know it feels like I’m saying it all of a sudden, but it’s… It’s not new to me, you know?” Steve tries his best to explain to you why he’s choosing now, of all moments, to pour his heart out to you. His eyes are as wide and hopeful as the palms he waves out in front of him. “I don’t wanna go into this without you knowing how I feel about you—” 
“Steve,” you agonize in hopes of ending his rambling. “Don’t.”
“—And I just want you to know, in case something happens, that I love you.”
“No,” you say with the defiant shake of your head, your chin quivering and your gaze ice-cold.
“Yes,” he replies, just as stubborn.
“Steve…” you choke out when the name gets hung in your throat. 
A warm tear falls from your lashes and onto the very apple of your cheek. You wipe it away with the back of your hand and use your free one to bat Steve away when he tries to reach out for you. You stumble back from him, heading back the way you came — back to Eddie.
“Don’t, Steve. Just stop it.”
“Why?” he grieves in the softest voice he can muster, wet and warm with his hurt.
“You’re being mean,” you scold.
“I’m being mean?” he echoes with a sad sort of laugh.
“When it comes to you… I have always been second to Nancy. Always. And I won’t be the person you settle for just because she doesn’t want you, Steve,” you rant, voice fragile like glass or flower petals. 
He wants to tell you that he doesn’t want Nancy — that being with the person he loves won’t be settling — but you continue in your lament, and he misses the chance.
“I can’t… I won’t do it, okay? Not after I’ve spent my entire life loving you,” you confess to him, face scrunched in anger. It’s a subtle sort of rage, pointed both at him and yourself.
He watches, feeling totally helpless, while you wipe bitterly at your damp cheeks. Steve’s seen a lot of assholes make you cry. He never dreamed he’d be one of them. 
Robin was right. He’d ruined everything. It seems to be the only thing he’s good at these days.
“I’m sorry,” he calls to you as you walk away. “I wasn’t… I didn’t say it to make you sad.”
“You shouldn’t have said it at all!” you shout back, angrier than you’ve ever been with him. You take in a stuttering breath and exhale a shakier sigh, trying to calm yourself down again. “I just don’t get why you waited so long…” you agonize, words wet with tears. “Why did you wait until I was happy? Eddie… Eddie’s so nice to me, Steve. And you just… You just throw this shit at me right before we... That’s not fair.”
“I know…” he murmurs. “I know…”
The world starts turning again. 
Birds sing their songs, sounding somehow sadder than before, as though in lament for the brokenhearted boy. The wind begins to whistle as it brushes through the trees. It’s only half successful in breathing air back into your lungs.
A rustling of the brush gains both of your attention’s. It sounds like something is slithering somewhere in the thick laurel — a rabbit, a snake, a dark wizard out to kill a bunch of sad teenagers. 
You and Steve are alone, heartbroken, and clear targets for a monster who feeds on traumatized kids.
Though it’s entirely unlikely that Vecna has crawled out from the depths of the Upside Down and into these woods, you and Steve reach for your respective weapons anyway — him for the axe strapped to his back and you for the knives hanging on your belt. You’re ready to protect each other despite your distant anger.
But instead of some shriveled skin creep, you find freaks of a different kind.
The pale human faces of Dustin and Eddie peek out from the brush with curious smiles. They maneuver through the thicket and try to avoid the thorns. “What’s going on over here, huh?” the oldest boy wonders with his signature sparkling grin.
It’s almost scary how you so easily contort your features full of grief into a sickly sweet, artificial smile. You swipe the back of your hand over your face again to clear the tears clinging to your lashes, though it looks like you’re only wiping away sweat.
“Nothing,” you answer quickly with the innocent shake of your head. “Steve was just being an idiot—”
“Imagine that,” Dustin scoffs.
“—And saying stuff he doesn’t mean.”
“That’s not true,” Steve mutters, then clears his throat when the words come out more choked than expected.
“Just wanted to make sure you weren’t out here making moves on my girl, Harrington,” Eddie lilts with a playful smile. He reaches you and wraps a heavy arm over your shoulder to tuck you into his side. 
His sudden touches stopped surprising you a long time ago. You realized early on in your relationship that he can’t go without touching you for very long.
Eddie squints teasingly at Steve. “Go get your own.”
The boy doesn’t have a comeback at the ready. He isn’t sure of what to say, anyway. Eddie’s jokes aren’t as funny when they aren’t jokesanymore. He was just sort of professing his love to you and getting his heart stomped on in the process. He should probably be used to the feeling by now, but it stings like it’s brand new.
You’re grateful for Eddie’s appearance and the bickering that seems to follow him wherever he goes. It’s easy to get lost in his words, let all the sarcasm run over you, and forget the bullshit that came before it.
“We should head back before the others think we got abducted by Vecna or something,” you urge, desperate to get away from these woods and from this moment.
Dustin listens to you without question because he always listens to you. And Steve listens because he wants an escape just as much as you do. He’d rather go back to Robin and all her “I told you so”’s than keep watching Eddie hold you like he is now.
“What do ya say we skip this joint and have our own fun out here?” the wild-haired boy jokes, already leaning down to press a kiss to your mouth.
“Eddie, don’t—” you huff, but otherwise don’t fight him. It’s only an innocent peck, a loud smack upon your lips, that makes Dustin mutter “gross…” under his breath as he walks away. 
And if he heard it, that means Steve heard it.
You keep your eyes open all the while. You feel a bit numb, actually. A little like you’ve just kissed a ghost. You feel as cold as one, as distant and not all there. Eddie holds your hand the entire walk back to the clearing, but you have a hard time feeling it.
You feel a bit like woods surrounding you. You’re all crowded and heavy with sadness. You can’t tell if your grief is your own or if you’re feeling Steve’s too, because you can’t seem to take your eyes off him.
There’s an entire forest within you, you find, and Steve’s carved his initials into every tree.
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i reread hammer of thor and i decided to list out some stuff i feel has been overlooked by the fandom
and stuff that hasn't been overlooked (at all) but i HAVE to mention it anyway. because reasons
also it's not THAT long of a post but it's pretty long so i put a cut there
nobody ever mentions the 'thinking cup' like whyyy
alex fierro the cheetah and weasel :)
"the gender thing wasn't what surprised me. what surprised me was the way my impression of alex had slingshot and the emotions that had stirred up"
magnus mentioning that he had been stuck in one gender his whole life and that it didn't bother him except the way it was worded made it seem like he was unsure about it jsfjfisfidgkgd
i don't think it's overlooked but the scene in which magnus is watching alex eat and halfborn goes "there's no shame in being attracted magnus" and he CHOKES
(not overlooked at all but) HEARTH'S POSESSIVENESS OVER BLITZ <333
(DEFINITELY not overlooked but) "buddy" *proceeds to take hearth's hands in his own*, "what is wrong with my elf" 😭😭
inge being fucking abused by alderman?? she was beaten??? and the iron on the door locks is harmful and extremely painful to hulder??? THAT ASSHOLE ALDERMAN
(in context to inge explaining that alderman kept a patch of wilderness in his backyard bc hulder need wilderness to live and so that he can 'hire' more help) "she said hire. i heard catch" BITCH-
the fucking wergild. i have a lot of thoughts about that and all of them involve alderman dying
also hearth's mom doesn't really seem like much of a good person either? she didn't stop alderman from being abusive towards hearth or the house staff AND she literally just cared about her reputation. maybe she wasn't as bad as her husband but she was still pretty bad (parallels there between hearth and alex)
also parallels between hearth trying to stop alderman from taking andvari's ring and trying to "pull his dad out from a hole deeper than andvari's" and magnus trying to save randolph from falling into the hole in the ground that led to helheim-
hearth and samirah's dynamic?? they've already had a fight and patched up AND were stuck together during the utgard lanes chapters. soooo a lot
also hearth and alex's brief interactions lol
"just, you know, a little respect" "for the girl with the sharp wire? no problem" "there was nothing confusing abt the smile she gave me. it warmed up the office by about five degrees" I LOVE THEM A TOTALLY NORMAL AMOUNT
amir fadlan. AMIR FADLAN EVERYBODY <333
samirah being a girlboss. samirah handling all the stress. samirah trying to show her true self to amir. samirah braving everything put in her way with courage. just samirah <3 <3 (everybody in the whole universe should be in awe of her btw)
the scene in which they're sitting on stanley (the eight-legged horse) and magnus is nervous to hold on to alex but she just takes his hands and puts them around her waist <3
for some reason i had assumed alex had cut magnus's hair for the first time in the woods but no. it was blitz? hm
magnus's casual mention about utgard loki being attractive ajsfjfsi
taylor swift being dwarf music and prince being giant music?? (and that giant named tiny being obsessed with elvis)
an alex speech pattern which isn't much of a pattern but it repeated twice in the book: once she said (in response to hearth signing something she didn't understand. this was around the time when she and samirah revealed that alex would be taking samirah's place) "yes alex. thank you alex for being so brave and heroic." and then the other time (in the end when magnus is visiting her in her room and picks up one of her pottery projects) "no you can't touch it magnus. thanks for asking magnus" idk i just think it's cool
the trophy wife thing. sif deserves better tbh
"a girl who was rocking that wedding dress"
alex straightening magnus's tie or smth and magnus's inner monologue going "she still smells like wood smoke. why does she still smell like a campfire?"
samirah's wedding outfit?? (sounds gorgeous tbh. except for the hood which) also i have a related question. is the hood in place of hijab thing disrespectful? /gen
sif and alex dynamic <3
sif's gifts to hearth (pouch of rowan runes) and alex (golden garrote)
alex and most other shapeshifters make random animal noises and shapeshift to random animals when they're nervous
halfborn's "death and glory," mallory's "kill everyone," and tj's "charge" aksfkfiovdm. and the way magnus just becomes so much stronger when he sees his friends-
the scene at the end of the marriage battle thing when alex is all concerned because she thinks magnus doesn't believe that she was just pretending to be under loki's control and sHE'S TRYING TO CONVINCE HIM AND HE SQUEEZES HER HAND JDFJSFKFK THIS SCENE IS NOT TALKED ABOUT ENOUGH
alex canonically calling magnus "sunshiny" and RESPECTING AND ADMIRING HIM AND HIS HEALING POWERS. they make me weak
samirah and magnus's dynamic is not given enough love. they are figuratively SIBLINGS and that level of closeness is not recognized by the fandom enough
(also not really about the book but. the UK cover of 'hammer of thor' depicts samirah with half of her hair falling out of her hijab. which. who tf designed these covers?? like somebody needs to give them a good throttling)
there's probably more that i don't remember but okay here have this for now :)
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sluggzillaa · 2 years ago
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Hi!
Can I request bestfriend!eddie x reader smoking in a dimly lit room with heaping amounts of tension that may perhaps lead to a hot smooch?
Puff, Puff, Pass
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Word Count: 1.5k
✧ Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader
✧ Summary: You and Eddie have been friends since you two were in diapers. The two of you were constantly together, whether at hellfire after school or sleepovers whenever the other got lonely; which was essentially every weekend. You simply just don’t hang around anyone else; with the exception of hellfire and the band. This of course started a problem. You’ve fallen for Eddie and you’ve fallen for him hard.
✧ Warnings: use of Y/N(2), (sfw)teasing, pet/nicknames( Sweets, Sweetheart) , drug use (shmeed), just some fluffy fluff, best friends to lovers, jealousy!!.
✧ Authors note: A quick little fic before i get back to Bonfire. I hope you guys enjoy it, i thought is was such a cute idea. Also, this is to celebrate one year of Eddie!!. Okay, now i need to hop back onto Bonfire and finish it 🙃. MINORS SHOO!
btw you should totally comment and get put on my tag list <3
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You and Eddie have been friends since you two were in diapers. Your parents were very close, basically best friends. Up until both of your dads went to jail, his mom passed, and your mom upped and left with her new junkie boyfriend. This left you by yourself in your tiny trailer and Eddie with his uncle nearby. You both found comfort in each other as you were both all each other had. The two of you were constantly together, whether at hellfire after school or sleepovers whenever the other got lonely; which was essentially every weekend. You simply just don’t hang around anyone else; with the exception of hellfire and the band. This of course started a problem. You’ve fallen for Eddie and you’ve fallen for him hard.
⋆.ೃ࿔*
“So why are you dressed so nice?”
While your feelings for Eddie skyrocketed, so did your need to impress him. You found yourself waking up extra early to put on a full face of makeup and the cutest outfit you could find. You pile on a shit ton of accessories and spend all of your allowance on a new look. Eddie took notice of this but not in the way you wanted.
“Maybe I just wanna look nice, Munson”
Something lit up in Eddie’s head
“Holy shit.. You have your first crush!”
“Pfft! as if”
“You act as if I don't know when you’re acting differently.. So who is it?”
“What, are you jealous?”
He scoffed loudly and looked away
“Yea right.. Who is it?”
You just shrugged and continued to search through your locker. Eddie was just about to speak before you were saved by the bell. You slammed your locker shut and trailed off.
“I guess you’ll never know”
“I will find out eventually! See you tonight? Same time?” He yelled from across the hallway
“We’ll see!”
⋆.ೃ࿔*
You stopped your board in front of Eddie’s trailer and hopped off. You picked it up and made your way onto his porch. You knocked onto his door and waited for someone to answer. The door opened up to reveal uncle Wade. He had his work uniform and boots on; looking like he was ready to head out for the night.
“Y/N! welcome back sweetheart”
“Hi Wayne!”
He pulled you into a warm embrace and ushered you inside.
“Eddie’s in his room, and I’ll be heading out in a bit.. I left some money on the counter to order yourselves dinner”
“Thanks Wayne!”
You gave him one last hug before heading down the hall to Eddie’s room. The boy had music blasting from his speaker, the noise leaking into the rest of the trailer. You opened his door, finding the metalhead dancing around his room. Usually you would find him listening to something a little heavier but this time, he was enjoying The Cure.
“Nice choice in music, Curly”
He quickly turned around, a huge smile plastered onto his face. He rushed over and picked you up into a hug. He spun you around while still in his embrace.
“Sweets!”
“Calm down! I just saw you this afternoon”
“I don’t care that’s still too long for me”
He put you down and took your bag from you. He placed it down onto his bed and opened it up. He unpacked your stuff and placed them in their places. He always kept spots in his room specifically for your stuff. He went into his small closet and passed you a towel.
“Hurry up and shower so that we can start off the weekend”
“Don’t rush me..”
“Oh I will”
He said as he shoved you out of his room, pressing the towel against your chest.
⋆.ೃ࿔*
You came back into Eddie’s room from your shower. You were still drying your hair. Eddie’s rim was very dim, the only leak of light came from the TV. You hung the towel up onto the hook behind his door. You plopped down next to the boy, who was also rolling a blunt. He grabbed the lighter off his bedside table and sparked the blunt. He took a pull, the end glowing a bright cherry red. You just stared at him. You always find him attractive but you always find yourself swooning over him the most when he’s smoking. There’s just something about the way his lips perfectly wrap around the blunt.
He cleared his throat, pulling you out of your trance. He ushered the blunt toward you whilst also letting out a cough; covering his mouth with his arm. The air in the room felt thick, but thick with embarrassment and doubt. What were you doubting? Not really sure, probably how you felt about your friendship ruining feelings for Eddie.
You took the blunt and took a looong hit. You needed something to silence everything that was running through your head. You exhaled it slowly and felt all the bliss enter your body. Your mind finally went to static. You passed Eddie the blunt and flopped down onto his bed. Everything felt like slow motion. Eddie leaned back against his head board and finished off the blunt. He put it out into his ashtray and grabbed the other one.
“Round two?”
“Hmm?”
“Sweets, you only had one hit.. don’t bail out on me now!”
“Fiiine” You dragged out
You sat back up, still absolutely hazy. He sparked up one more time and passed the blunt to you. Every hit you took was longer and hit you even harder. At some point, Eddie made sure to stop you before you ended up greening out. He put out the blunt and saved the clip, knowing you’d probably want it for your morning wake and bake. He stood up and searched through a stack of vhs and picked up a tape. He pushed it into the tape player on his tv. The title screen began to play.
“Rocky Horror.. Your favorite”
You smiled like an absolute idiot. He laid back down onto his bed, right besides you. He laid onto his side and watched you be put into a trance by the movie. He knew exactly what you needed when you were high, whether it was something to bring you down to just something as little as water. He let out a loud sigh before breaking the silence.
“Why are you hiding things from me?”
“I’m not”
“Y/N.”
“I said i’m not so i’m not”
“Then why have you been acting so weird?”
“Weird how?”
“Getting distant from me, always bailing on our plans, not showing up to hellfire”
“Maybe I get busy”
“Yeah? With who”
You looked at him; slightly offended. Your cheeks began to heat up at the thought that he couldn’t believe that you had other people in your life. Which he wasn’t wrong about but it still kinda hurt. Truth is, you’ve been avoiding him in an attempt to avoid the feelings you had for him.
“Is it that guy?”
“What guy?”
“The one you do desperately wanna hide from me”
You avoided any eye contact with him. Any thoughts you tried to suppress with weed just came back 10 times worse. You huffed and looked up at his ceiling.
“I’m afraid that if i tell you, it’ll ruin our friendship”
He looked down at his hands for a second, putting the pieces together in his head. Suddenly, he looked like he got it. This sent your heart racing. You weren’t ready for this. He looked at you, extremely concerned. You braced yourself for his words.
“Oh my god! Is it Garreth?”
You felt the weight completely lift off of your chest
“No! Oh god, fuck no, never!”
“Then why else are you hiding shit?”
“I can’t tell you!”
He sat up and planted his hand next to your side, slightly caging you in. He grabbed your chin and forced you to look up at him. He made direct eye contact with you. You can see the desperation in his eyes. Heat rose to your cheeks from the proximity.
“Eddie.. I-”
“Please tell me the truth”
You swallowed the lump of guilt that had formed in your throat. You notice his eyes began to wander, from your eyes now to your lips. His breathing became heavy and he licked his lips; with hunger. The distance between the two of you began to close in as Eddie moved closer. Your face heated and felt like it was turning every bright shade of red. You’ve been close to Eddie, just never this close.
“Eds..”
“Just shut up and kiss me”
The space between you two quickly closed. A brand new fucking sensation for the both of you. You were kissing your best friend, a dream you would’ve never believed would have ever come true. His arm reached under you and around your waist. He had his extra hand placed on the side of your face, caressing your cheek with his calloused thumb. You could tell he was a little nervous. Hell, you were probably 10x as nervous as he was. His smile imprinted against your lips. He pulled away slightly, both of your lips just feathering each other. Your foreheads pressed up against each other.
“You knew there wasn’t a guy, didn’t you?”
“Maybe, I wanted to see how far you’d go with this.. also i love seeing you in skirts”
You shoved him playfully. He let out a quick cackle before leaning back in for another kiss. He pulled away and laid at your side.
“Okay curly, roll me another blunt”
⋆.ೃ࿔*
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