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#a/n sirius thoughts
moraxswhore · 2 years
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watching episode 1x12
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st0nesnglitter · 10 months
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sugardaddysiriusblacksugardaddysiriusblacksugardaddysiriusblack
Oh, sluttiest man alive. No doubt.
News flash: Sirius Black hates his family. So when he inherited the Black fortune every penny ached in his pockets. However, it is so substantial that even in his later years he was still not through it. Barely a dent.
And spending it on pretty things for a pretty young thing? It’s a dream come through, both ways.
Okay so he’s maybe mid 30s (not really daddy status yet i knoooow) but he saunters around in luxurious suits and he’s decorated his body in the prettiest of tattoos. And he just gets his eyes on you, and has to have you.
He asks you out, inviting you to his mansion for “dinner and a show”. The ‘show’ is actually just watching him as he cooks, but you won’t complain. At the end of the night his chauffeur drives you home.
When your relationship is a little more established he’ll most definitely buy you lingerie. At first he’d just hand you a pretty paper bag, sporting a cheeky grin, and wait to see your flustered reaction. But then he’d bring you to the store. If you even glanced at something he’d pick it up and try to convince you that you’d look sooo good in it.
Property is also something he’d spoil you with. Want a cottagecore life? He’d fix that. Want to move to Tokyo for a month? Done. Want a soft life in a nice apartment? It’s already taken care of.
And the engagement ring…. definitely a ridiculous diamond.
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fool-inthe-rain · 2 years
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No Longer Making Time
Sirius Black x Potter!Reader
wc: 3529
Warnings: Angst, semi-ambiguous ending that leaves room for hope???? injury, blood, use of female pronouns, use of Y/N, Sirius being a dick and not realizing his mistake until it’s too late, brief talk of an ED but it's nothing overly graphic, Marlene is the villain so sorry, please please let me know if I’ve missed anything!
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At this point, she couldn’t remember how long she had been doubled over the toilet, but if her delusion was right, then she had been there forever. This wasn’t the first time the young witch of only seventeen had cried so hard she had made herself sick. And it wasn’t the first time Lily Evans had held her hair and rubbed her back in small circles and talked her through her grief. This time, however, was the first time Lily was so worried about her best friend that she left her alone in the bathroom so she could find her twin brother. 
James followed Lily, wondering what had her in such a rush, and when they stopped in front of the girls' bathroom at the base of the Gryffindor Common Room steps he was even more confused.
“Evans, why in Godric’s name have you taken me to the girls' bathroom? If you think I’m going in there you’re sorely mistaken.” He jests at her, thinking the situation was lighter than it actually was. 
“It’s your sister you git. Why else would I have dragged you through the halls in such a hurry?” Lily crossed her arms across her chest and huffed out in annoyance at how long she had left her friend alone. 
“My sister? What’s wrong with my sister?” James was nervous now, she was the one person he never had to worry about, as in, there was nothing to worry about. 
“She’s in the second stall to the left, just talk to her, please. I'm really worried about her,” Lily pleaded with the boy, “I’ll stay out here and make sure nobody else comes in.” She knew the assurance made him feel better about going in there, but James was still scared to see what he would be walking into. 
James swung the door open, looking back at Lily whose eyebrows were drawn together as she bit her nails in an almost neurotic way. 
As soon as he heard the door shut he made a path straight to the second stall on the left, and before he could knock and call her name, the stall door quickly opened revealing his twin with a bright red tear-stained face and puffy cracked lips. 
After the few seconds it took her brain to recognize James, she fell into him, her arms wrapping around her brother.
“Okay, it’s okay.” He ran his hand rapidly up and down her back, unsure of what to do or say because he had never had to console her like this. 
She was the strong one, the one who gave advice and smiled all day long. He was supposed to be crying to her about how Lily didn’t love him or about whatever stupid prank Sirius had left him out of. Never once had she fallen into him, never once had he seen her this upset, and never once had his sister ever cried over a boy. Ever. 
“What’s happened? Huh? Who do I have to beat up?” He chided, trying to get her tears to stop so she would talk to him. 
When his admittedly lame attempt at a joke failed, he became ten times more concerned with her current state. He moved his hands from her back to her shoulders and peeled her off of him so he could see her face.
“You’re scaring me y/n/n, tell me what happened, tell me how to fix this.” 
“You have to promise me you won't yell, or beat anyone up.” She finally choked out through her tear-blocked throat.
“I can’t promise that, you’re my sister, if someone hurts you they’re gonna know about it.” He dropped his hands from her shoulders, bringing them to cross along his chest.
She looked up at him, her eyelashes wet and clumped together from the tears. 
“James please just promise me you won’t seriously injure or traumatize anyone.” 
And although he knew that was another promise he couldn’t make he decided to go along with it so she would tell him what was wrong.
“Okay, I promise not to seriously injure or traumatize anyone. Now, tell me what happened so we can get you to stop feeling so shitty.”
“Marlene.” Was all she said.
“McKinnon?” Was what he answered with. “What about her?”
“She has seen fit to make my life a living hell,” She bit her lip and looked to the floor before speaking again, “And there’s something else too.”
He raised his eyebrows, a silent indication telling her to go on.
“I’ve been in love with Sirius for six years but he’s dating Marlene and because they’re together whenever she says or does something to me he pretends that he’s never met me and that we haven’t lived in the same house for two years.” She spewed out the words in record time, but James got every word she said. To say he was pissed was an understatement.
“What the fuck is his problem? And what do you mean when she does something to you? Has she hurt you?” His voice got so loud Lily, and Remus, who had joined her outside the door, could both hear him. 
She nodded, and his heart broke. How did he not notice this? He prided himself on how observant he was, but he failed to recognize what was going on with the most important person in his life.
“Tell me what she’s done,” he demanded, his tone scary and low. She had only seen him like this once when a nasty sixth-year Slytherin found out about Remus’s condition and tormented him for it.
She knew better than to try and get out of this conversation so she told him. She told him every jinx, charm, and hex Marlene had ever cast upon her, and while none had resulted in serious injury she was not void of bruises, cuts, and sprained limbs as a result of Marlene’s violence. 
“I-I’m just sad. I'm sad that Sirius stands by and acts like I'm nothing, acts like I’m not one of his best friends. He’s never been around for Marlene’s wand work, but the horrible words she spits at me, he has bore witness to that more times than I’d like to admit.” She sighed, happy to have revealed the situation to her brother, but also in anguish after hearing the words come from her mouth. 
“I swear to Godric I will kill them both. How could he do this? We’ve been best friends since first year! Not only is he betraying your trust but he’s betraying mine and severing our friendship at the same time.” He was pulling at his hair, trying to make sense of the situation, trying to understand how someone he loved so much and considered family could stand by and let someone be so cruel to his sister. 
“James, you have to promise me you won't do anything. Please if she finds out I told you, or if she finds out I like Sirius the situation will only escalate.”
“How do you expect me to sit back and act like nothing's wrong? Am I supposed to go out and act all buddy-buddy with him, knowing what I know now?” He stopped pacing, settling right in front of her. 
“No. I’m not asking you to do that at all. I’m just asking you to not draw attention to this with him or anyone that isn’t Lily unless I ask you to. Unless things get worse.”
“Fine, but I’m not happy about it. And I will be watching you much closer. I don’t need Marlene catching you alone in the hallway.”
“I can agree with that. And thank you. Thank you for caring and listening and helping. Seriously, I don't know what I would do if you weren’t my brother.”
James looked her over and pursed his lips. “Wash your face and calm down for a few more minutes, I’ll be just outside with Lily.” 
And he walked out leaving her to try and digest what had just happened, what she had just admitted to. Not only was one of her best friends acting like he never met her, but she was letting it happen. Any other person and she would’ve stuck up for herself a long time ago, but the confusion she had from Sirius’s actions left her too overwhelmed to even think about fighting back. So she let it happen, and that was eating her alive, the fact that a singular boy could make her feel this weak. 
After some time to herself, she exited the bathroom and to her surprise, three pairs of eyes were looking right at her. She had expected James and Lily to be there, but Remus, while not unwelcome, was definitely a surprise.
“I’m assuming you’ve both filled him in.” She half-heartedly threw her hand in Remus’s direction.
“I hope that’s ok.” Lily bit her lip nervously waiting to see how her best friend would react.
“It’s fine. Not like he’s been compliant in any of Sirius and Marlene's actions.” A sigh passed her lips as she walked through the group, flopping onto an empty sofa in the corner of the common room. 
“I knew he was an arse y/n, but I never thought he would stand by and let someone be so cruel to you. Especially you.” Remus said, with a sad expression on his face as he sat next to her on the couch.
“What do you mean, especially me?” She shifted her body so it was facing the boy whose eyes had gone wide, finally realizing what he meant to say in his head, he actually said out loud. 
“Oh good job Remus,” James huffed out, “now you’ve done it.”
“Can someone please tell me what he means?” She looked rapidly back and forth between her three friends, waiting for someone to pluck up the courage to tell her.
Of course, it was her brother that ended up spilling the secret. 
“Sirius told us last year that he had a crush on you.” 
“What?” Tears sprang to her eyes, this made everything worse. “But he’s with Marlene now, you have to be lying.”
“Listen,” Remus said, “We all thought it was strange too, but when we asked him about it he refused to say another word about you or how he felt about you. I’d never seen him clam up like he did when we asked.” 
Just as she was about to speak, the black-haired beauty strutted through the common room door, a wide smirk plastered on his face and a strong arm wrapped around Marlene's waist. The group snapped their heads up to look in his direction, and as soon as Sirius made eye contact with them and started to make his way over y/n got up and walked as fast to her room as humanly possible, James following closely behind while Lily and Remus stayed back.
“What’s up with the wonder twins?” Sirius laughed, though it quickly died down when he saw the sour looks on Lily and Remus's faces. 
“Hopefully she’s going to throw up her lunch. She could stand to lose a few pounds.” Marlene said with a nasty snigger in her tone. 
Sirius let his grip from her waist go at the comment, but he said nothing to protest the words.
“What the fuck did you just say?” Lily yelled as she stood from her spot on the couch.
“Oh please Evans you know how insecure she is, I’m just trying to be honest.” Marlene looked at Sirius waiting for him to back her up, but he kept his eyes down and stayed quiet.
Just as Lily tried to go for Marlene, Remus grabbed her arm and started pulling her away.
“Shut your dog up Sirius before I do it for you!” Lily spat from behind Remus’s shoulder as he continued to push her up the dorm stairs. 
As the two traveled out of sight, Marlene took a seat on the couch, pulling Sirius down with her. They were both silent, but the thoughts in his head were deafening. He never meant for it to go this far. He got with Marlene as a way to make y/n jealous, but after her cold shoulders and silent treatments, he realized he was too far gone in this horrible situation so he decided to sit by and let it resolve itself. Which was the worst thing he could’ve ever done. 
A week later and none of the Marauders, Lily, or y/n would even look in Sirius’s direction. They were freezing him out until he came to his senses, even though it seemed he wouldn’t any time soon. 
It was one of those rare moments walking back to the common room from class where she found herself alone. Her few friends that were in her potions class all went to the library while she opted for a nap. Mistake number one. She decided to take a different route than normal to get back to the common room that day. Mistake number two. Mistake number three was freezing up instead of turning the other way when she saw Marlene McKinnon waltzing down the hallway. 
“Oh look who we have here!” Marlene was still a few feet away but that sickly sweet voice rushed up to greet her ears. 
Y/n looked around hoping they weren’t alone, but of course they were. Just her luck.
“What do you want Marlene?” 
“Oh well actually I want absolutely nothing to do with you, but I heard a rumor that you want everything to do with my boyfriend.” 
“What on Earth are you talking about?” She tried to hide the worry in her voice, but she couldn’t cover it as well as she hoped.
“Oh, don’t play coy. You know exactly what I’m talking about.” She swore Marlene’s eyes got three shades darker. “Lucky for you I learned a new spell today, and the teacher told me to practice so that is exactly what I intend to do. Diffindo!” 
Marlene drew her wand before y/n could duck and two sharp sparks flew from the wand. One smaller spark sliced her cheek and the second larger one opened a large gash across her stomach, ripping through her clothing. Y/n toppled both from the searing pain of the fresh cuts, and also from the impact of the spell.
“Stay away from my boyfriend. Stay away from me. Next time I won’t just scar that ugly face.” Marlene slid her wand back into her robes and walked off as if she didn’t just do what she did.
After Marlene’s footsteps could no longer be heard down the hall, she slid back against the wall. She peeled her arm from around her torso trying to be brave enough to open her eyes which had been squeezed shut from pain. 
Blood seeped into her robes and uniform from the deep slice on her stomach, and more of the red liquid dripped down her mouth and jaw from the wound on her cheek. Looking down at her torso all she could get out was a loud, pained cry. Why? Why did it go this far? Why did Marlene hate her enough to scar her face and bloody her body?
The blood would not stop pouring from her stomach. She was terrified. She was getting dizzy from the sight of her blood, and from the rapid loss of it. 
A stray Gryffindor walking down the dim corridor found her first. She didn’t know her name, but she was thankful someone was there to help.
“You stay right here. I’m going to get your brother. You’re gonna be okay.” The words were jumbled in her foggy brain, but she got the jist of what the kind girl was saying. 
By the time James got there, she must have been passed out because the next thing she knew her dry eyes were blinking away the harsh light of the hospital wing. 
“Oh good darling, you’re awake.” Madame Pomfrey walked up alongside the bed she was laying on. She began prodding at the cut on her face before moving down to her stomach. Y/n did not respond to the older woman who was taking care of her. She instead stared at the ceiling. Trying and failing to put the pieces of what happened together in her head. 
“Where’s James?” She finally spoke after many minutes of silence.
“Right outside love, let me go get him.”After Madame Pomfrey left the curtained area, the girl picked her head up to assess the damage. She couldn’t even sit up before pain shot through her entire body. A stray tear slid down her face as she slowly laid back down, opting to leave the characteristics of her wounds up for interpretation. The curtains flew open and once again three pairs of eyes were looking at her. James, Remus, and Lily. Thank Godric they were here. 
“How bad is it?” She asked the group, mostly aiming the question at her twin.
“It was bad, but you know Poppy, she can fix anything.” James sat in the chair next to her, running his thumb along the fresh scar that decorated her face.
“She fixed your cheek easily. The scar looks badass.” Lily added. 
“What about my stomach?” 
“That one was trickier, it was so deep and you lost so much blood. Pomfrey said it may take a few more hours to fully heal, but there’s going to be a scar.” James sighed. 
Silence made the air thick, the three friends looked at each other from their respective chairs, none of them expecting the next question that would come from the girl on the bed.
“Does Sirius know what happened?”
Remus drew in a sharp breath, the boy in question had been sitting outside the hospital wing the entire time. This was his fault and he knew it. He was a wreck, but he still couldn’t bring himself to face her.
“He does. It was nasty, the fight he and Marlene had. She's been in Dumbledore's office since their blowout. He’s trying to decide what to do with her.” Remus’s soft voice carried through her brain.
“Did they break up?”
“Yes”“Does he finally realize what he did?”
“Yes.”
“Good.”
A beat of silence. Two beats…
“He’s outside,” James spoke.
“I want to see him.” She sat up with help from Lily who had a concerned look on her face at the decision her best friend just made.
James knew better than to question his sister, however, so he ushered the other two out of the room with him and went to get Sirius. They were still wary of the boy, but he poured his heart out to them, taking the blame for not stepping up, and admitting his wrongdoings. The trio knew it would take time, but they were willing to forgive him if she was.
As the nervous boy made his way into the room he could see her from the small opening in the curtains. Pushing them open his eyes were immediately drawn to the angry red scar on her face. He burst into tears immediately. 
“Sirius, come here, please.” She held her arms out inviting him in. 
“I'm so sorry,” He cried into her chest as she held him, “I was stupid, I was an absolute idiot. I never ever knew she would go this far. I never want to see you in pain again, and to know I helped cause it is eating me alive.” His body shook as he took short breaths trying to apologize but not being able to keep up with all the thoughts flooding his brain.
“Sirius, I know that wasn’t you. I don’t know who that was, but it certainly wasn’t my Sirius.” Tears escaped her eyes at the sounds of his cries and the meaning behind his words.
He apologized what felt like a million more times until his cries turned into soft breaths. She rubbed his back and stroked his hair, knowing that this was her Sirius. This was no longer a boy possessed by McKinnon or his own delusions. This was the gentle, kind, sometimes oblivious boy who she had loved for six years.
“I can’t promise that things will go back to normal immediately, but I forgive you. I know that in the end, her actions and her choices were her own. I know that you love me, and I know that you will do everything you can to show me that.” She removed her hands from his body.
Sirius sat up, he didn’t understand how someone could be so forgiving. So wonderful. 
“I love you so much. I love your beautiful face. I love your kind heart. Why are you so willing to let me back into your life?”
“Because Sirius, I have never and will never see a future where I don’t end up with you. You’re a good person who got caught up with someone venomous. I don’t love you any less for that.”
He decided from that moment on to win back every ounce of her trust. No matter how long it takes. 
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yrluvjane · 1 year
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𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏 𝒈𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝐈𝐈𝐈
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[old money] James x fem!reader
《 Summary - It's the day of your date with James and it turns out better than you had hoped, Sirius and Margret confront James on who the secret mystery woman is and an unexpected surprise leaves James in worry of what it may cause. 》
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The days dragged on, each hour an eternity, as you struggled to focus on anything but him. You knew it wasn't healthy, but with this fixation, you couldn't help yourself - you were caught in a whirlpool, and he was the eye of the storm.
And yet, for reasons you could not quite understand, you found yourself unable to reveal your true feelings to anyone, not even yourself. It was a conundrum of the heart, torn between desire and honour. You knew that letting this - whatever this was - would only lead to heartbreak and pain, but the game was too great to resist. James Potter may have been nice to you but that doesn’t have to mean he finds you that interesting; so you hid your emotions away, praying that hopefully this was nothing more than a crush and someday it would simply fade.
You step out of the bathroom, feeling refreshed. Your hair is damp, and you take a moment to wring it out before setting about styling it. You reach for your curling iron, curling and curling your strands until they are loose and wavy. Then, you apply your makeup, starting with your skin - foundation, concealer, blush and then a sweep of highlighter to give your face a glowy finish. You finish off your look with a splash of lipgloss and then your signature lipstick. You take a moment to look at yourself in the mirror, and you definitely look different, you can’t remember the last time you’ve looked so…put together. It almost feels like a dream or a distant thought when you push back some of the curls that sat on your shoulder.
Your thoughts are interrupted by a sharp knock at the door. You glance at your watch - it's a little after 6:00 PM, and the sun is sinking low in the sky. You walk over to the door, your heart racing with anticipation and nerves. You take a deep breath, you look through the peephole and James is standing there, looking as handsome as ever. As the door creaks open, you catch sight of James, his striking face and well-tailored suit looking more attractive than ever. The beautiful arrangement of flowers in his hand makes you smile.
“Hey,” You say, your hands are fidgeting and you're curling your toes from the storm of awkwardness you’re feeling. “Hello.” He says smiling as he takes in your form, "You look absolutely stunning," and the warmth in his tone makes your cheeks flush with heat. 
You thank him and compliment his attire, feeling a flutter in your chest and when he offers you his hand; you take it eagerly, feeling a surge of excitement and anticipation as you step out of your apartment and join him. You feel your heart racing as you step out of the building, the cool air brushing against your face. 
He looks at you with a smile that reaches his eyes, and you feel your heart skip a beat. 
You settle into the passenger seat, feeling the soft leather underneath you. As he starts the engine, you take a deep breath and try to steady yourself. Tonight was going to be either special or a disaster - you can feel it in your bones.
As you sit in the car next to James, you feel a sense of both excitement and trepidation wash over you. You've spent the past week getting ready for this moment - practising your makeup, trying on different outfits, and preparing yourself mentally. Now that the moment has arrived, you find yourself wishing you could freeze time, just for a moment, so you could savour every detail of this experience. You take in the familiar scent of the leather seats and the soft glow of the streetlights outside blending in with the setting sky.
Once you've arrived, you stare dumbly at the restaurant that's even more extravagant and luxurious compared to anything you've ever experienced before. The entrance alone is enough to take your breath away - the gleaming gold doors, the elaborately carved marble pillars, the gleaming black-and-white marble floor. You feel a sense of anxiety and anticipation as you approach the entrance. This place seems so different from anything you've ever known, and you can't help but feel a little bit out of your depth, when James opens the doors for you and links your arms together as he walks you in.
The smile James sends as he pulls back your chair for you is absolutely irresistible, and you feel a warm rush wash over you. His expression radiates a genuine kindness that makes you feel safe and look up at him, trying to think of something to say that doesn't sound like babbling. You sit down in the chair, feeling James' warm and muscular shoulder brush up against yours. His smile is incredibly charismatic, a mixture of confidence, playfulness and a touch of arrogance. You can't help but feel your heart fluttering slightly as you meet his gaze, the butterflies in your stomach intensifying as he takes a seat in front of you.
James begins the conversation by asking about your day, but you can't help but notice that he's looking at you in a way that makes you feel both nervous and flattered all at once. He leans in a little closer, and you can feel his eyes tracing over every inch of your face as though it was a portrait he wished to memorise.
Or looking for flaws. A sickening voice whispers in your mind.
"So, tell me about yourself, Y/n." Your heart rate quickens, and you begin to feel a little lightheaded. Taking a look around, you can feel the nerves starting to set in. You’ve never been to a place like this before, and the prices on the menu are making you feel very out of your league. You can't help but feel insecure and unsure of yourself as they placed the menu in front of you.
The restaurant was grand, with tall ceilings and elegantly dressed waiters flitting about. The diners were equally well-dressed, many of them sporting expensive jewellery and clothes that could probably buy your entire street. You feel very out of your element as if you didn’t belong here. 
You don’t. The voice says once more.And this time you truly feel sick.
But James, gentle and understanding, read your mind. He seems to sense your discomfort, and he flashes you a warm smile. "Don't worry about the prices," he says, reaching across the table to take your hand. "I just want to treat you to a nice dinner." His words are reassuring, and your nerves start to calm down but you also can’t help but wonder if he’s doing this out of pity.
"I just want to treat you to a nice dinner." He said. Does this have something to do with you getting sick? Did he feel as though he was obliged to treat you out as an apology? Maybe guilt? Politeness? Were reading this completely wrong?
The thoughts hit you like a speeding train and it’s almost as if you can feel the acid in your stomach. Your mind is questioning every little thing, every little move and micro-expression, raising your stress and anxiety with each passing second.
You take a deep breath and start to tell him a little bit about yourself, about your childhood, your interests, your likes and dislikes. You find yourself drifting off on a tangent about your favourite book, and he looks at you with interest, encouraging you to keep going.
James leans back in his chair a little, his eyes meeting yours. There's a sparkle in his eye while you find yourself leaning forward slightly. It's almost like the two of you are in your own little world right now, and nothing else matters. 
When he places your orders his voice is confident and sure. The server nods and hurries away, and the two of you sit in comfortable silence for a moment before James speaks up again. You can't help but be impressed by James' confidence and assurance, both in the way he speaks and the way he carries himself. He seems to know exactly what he wants and is not afraid to ask for it; it's a quality that you're sure served him well in life and it only adds to the attraction you feel towards him. 
You're so caught up in the moment that you don't realise how much time has passed, and before you know it, the sun has set over the horizon. It's a moment of pure magic, and you feel like this is something truly special.
You look up from the table and see the waiter approaching with two plates of food - one for you and one for James. You watch as he sets the plates down, the food is absolutely delicious, and you let out a sigh of satisfaction. "This is incredible," you say, taking another bite. 
James chuckles, smiling at you as though you were the moon itself. “I’m glad you like it.” He says softly and you can’t help but feel something at his tone. It makes you falter for a moment, utensils frozen mid-bite. “T-thank you?” You try and the laugh he lets out is enough to break whatever just happened a few seconds ago.
James listens attentively, nodding and asking questions as you speak. It was like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders, and you felt grateful for his company, for the comfort he provided, and for the opportunity to forget about the world for a moment. 
You stare in disbelief as the food keeps coming, each plate seemingly topping the previous one. The service is impeccable and the food is absolutely delicious. As you continue to chow down, you can't help but be a bit self-conscious - you don't want James to think you're a gorger.
"Do you remember your childhood, James?" You asked, putting down the fork and knife. "What was it like growing up for you?"
"It was... interesting," James replied with a smile on his face. "I spent a lot of time outdoors, playing with friends and exploring the woods around our house. My father taught me how to hunt and fish, and my mother taught me how to paint and play piano."
"That sounds lovely," You said and he nodded, his eyes lost to distant memories. "I also loved to go exploring, even though my parents warned me not to. It was dangerous, but the excitement was just too much to resist."
"We grew up quite differently," You state, the smile on your face as you utter these words is a complete opposite to the spiders crawling in your chest.
"But that's a good thing.” James said, lifting his glass of water for a sip. “We can learn from each other's experiences and grow as people. That's one of the things I love about life – there's always something new to explore and discover…and wonderful new people to meet." You can feel the heaviness of his last words, his eyes gaze at you with a smile adorning his face. You tilt your head to the side and run your hands down your face as you laugh.
The conversation continues, with the two of you sharing stories and finding common ground as you get to know each other. You both feel a little more connected and a little closer. "I’ve been on hikes before but it didn't end very well. We – my friends and I – we always do everything together and we decided to go on a hike." James states, a smile on his face.
“It was fun, I presume?” You ask and he laughs, nodding his head, “The word I would use if unforgettable. We forgot one of us and didn’t even remember him until 12 hours later!”
You laugh, imagining the scene. It's easy to imagine James, the life of the party, surrounded by friends who were probably just as lively as he was. "I bet it was quite the adventure," you say, still smiling. "What happened then?"
James doesn't miss a beat as he continues the story. "We had to retrace our steps, which took hours, but we finally found him. He was still asleep, and when we woke him up he looked so lost as to why we were all watching him so we just didn’t tell him what happened! It was pretty funny, actually.” 
He laughs again, and you find yourself starting to feel more at ease in his presence. There's something about him that's so easy to talk to, so natural to be around, whatever worries you had before have all turned to forgotten ash by now.
It's so silly and relatable, and it's nice to know that even the most charming and regal people can be just as clumsy and forgetful as the rest of us. It makes James feel more human, more like someone you could see yourself being with. You don't dare to hope for too far, but you can't help but dream.
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Sirius stepped out of the elevator, his shoes tapping out a rhythmic beat on the polished marble floors of the office. With an excited stride, he made his way toward Margaret’s office, the sound of his footsteps echoing through the otherwise quiet halls. As he reached the door, he took a deep breath, mentally bracing himself for the conversation to come. He didn’t bother with pleasantries, simply swinging the door open and marching in with a dramatic flair.
“Margaret, you won’t believe it!” Sirius burst into the room, eyes wide and voice full of disbelief. “James is dating someone?!”
Margaret looked up from her desk, her face a portrait of shock and surprise. “What? Since when?” she asked, her voice rising in pitch as she tried to process the bombshell.
Sirius flopped into one of the leather chairs opposite her, throwing himself dramatically as if wounded. “How could you not know? You spend like ten hours a day with Prongs, and you don’t know he’s got a secret girlfriend?”
Margaret’s face turned a shade of pink as she stared at Sirius, utterly perplexed. “Are you sure you’re not messing with me?” she asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically.
Sirius leaned in closer, his expression serious despite the playful glint in his eye. “I’m dead serious. James. Is. Dating. Someone.”
Margaret’s eyes widened even further as she absorbed the news. “Are you absolutely sure?” she asked, her voice dropping to a whisper.
Sirius nodded enthusiastically, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. “I heard it straight from the source—Mum’s the word. He’s been keeping it under wraps, but I got the scoop from my mum.”
Margaret’s initial shock began to fade, replaced by a look of admiration. “Wow. That’s... amazing. Good for him!” she said, a smile tugging at her lips. “Do you know who it is?”
Sirius shook his head, his grin widening. “No clue. But don’t worry, we’ll find out.”
Margaret’s eyes sparkled with curiosity. “I’m dying to know who it is now. Any guesses?”
Sirius chuckled, leaning back with a theatrical sigh. “With James, it could be anyone. An artist, a secret agent, or even... you-know-who.”
Margaret burst into laughter, the tension breaking as she relaxed. “Oh, please. If it were you-know-who, we’d have a much bigger problem on our hands.”
Sirius joined in her laughter, shaking his head. “Yeah, you’re right. But seriously, James is so terrible at keeping secrets. He’ll spill the beans sooner or later. We just have to wait for him to crack.”
Margaret grinned, shaking her head in amusement. “Yeah, James is definitely not the best at keeping things under wraps. It’ll be fun to watch him squirm.”
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Your heart races as you step outside into the cool night air. The moon casts a gentle glow over everything, and as you glance over at James, you notice the way his eyes sparkle in the moonlight. You want to say something, but the words get tangled up in your throat. The silence stretches between you, feeling like an eternity, until James finally breaks it.
“I had a really good time tonight,” he says, his voice soft and warm. “I hope you did too.”
You nod, feeling a smile spread across your face despite your lingering nervousness. “I had a great time,” you reply, your breath coming in slightly uneven puffs. The evening has left you exhilarated and a bit flustered. You want to say more, but the words escape you, leaving you standing there, hoping he feels the same way.
As you walk towards James’s car, you take a deep breath, savoring the crisp night air. James opens the door for you, and you slip into the seat, feeling the warm leather envelop you. The engine hums to life, and you close your eyes, letting the vibrations soothe your tired muscles. “It’s a shame the night has to end,” James muses. “I’d love to relive it all over again.”
A blush warms your cheeks as his words sink in. “Same here,” you whisper, feeling your heart flutter. The stars above seem to shine brighter, and you wish you could freeze this moment forever.
You hesitate, your mind racing between the excitement of extending your time together and the fear of potential rejection. But as you look at James, his eyes full of warmth and his smile reassuring, you gather your courage. “Who says it has to end?” you suggest, trying to keep your voice steady. “There’s a public park a few streets away. How about a late-night walk?”
Your heart races as you wait for his response, your hand resting nervously on his arm. It feels like an eternity before James finally speaks, his voice calm and inviting. “Okay,” he says, and you can almost hear the smile in his voice. “Let’s go.”
Relief washes over you as you settle back into the seat. The car makes a few turns, and soon you’re pulling up to a small, secluded park. It’s dark and still, and a touch of anxiety flutters in your chest as James parks the car and switches off the engine. “You’d better not stand me up,” he jokes as you both get out of the car, and you laugh in response.
The park is enchanting—the stars are scattered like diamonds, the air is warm and fragrant, and the stillness of the night sets a perfect mood.
You take James’s hand, feeling his warm grip, and he leads you down a path into the night. His hold on your arm is firm but gentle, and the warmth of his body next to yours sends a pleasant shiver down your spine. Despite the risk of what you’re doing, the excitement of being with James overshadows your nerves.
As you walk, James’s hand rests around your waist, pulling you closer. You let out a happy sigh, tilting your head back to gaze at the stars. The night seems endless, filled with potential, and a deep sense of joy envelops you as you stand there with James, surrounded by the night sky.
“Tell me something most people don’t know about you,” you say, wanting to draw closer and understand him better. “Something you’ve never told anyone.”
James ponders for a moment before speaking. “When I was a kid, I used to spend hours with maps. I loved learning about places, tracing rivers and mountain ranges with my fingers. I always wanted to see those places for myself, but life had other plans.”
You look at him with curiosity. “Why didn’t you get to see them?”
James gives a sad smile. “Work, mostly. There’s always a conference, a gala, reports to review. It’s a never-ending cycle.”
You nod sympathetically, trying to imagine the constant demand on his time. “That sounds tough,” you say, reaching out to squeeze his hand. James returns the squeeze, his fingers warming yours. “It can be,” he admits, a hint of bitterness in his voice. “But I try not to complain. I’m grateful for the opportunities.”
A silence falls between you as you both contemplate his words. “But sometimes,” James continues softly, “I wish I could just stop. Take a break from all the noise and demands. Go somewhere where nobody knows me and just... be.”
As you listen, a pang of envy and understanding strikes you. A life like James’s, where every need is met and yet every moment is filled with pressure, seems both enviable and overwhelming. You wonder what it’s like to be constantly in the spotlight, where you’re always defined by your roles and responsibilities.
“Yeah, I can see that,” you say thoughtfully. “It’s like you’re always juggling flaming swords or something. Not that you don’t handle it well, but even superheroes need a break.”
James chuckles, a warm sound that makes your heart flutter. “Flaming swords, huh? I’ll have to add that to my résumé.”
You laugh, feeling the tension ease. “Definitely. ‘Expert at juggling flaming swords while looking fabulous.’”
James grins, clearly enjoying the playful banter. “Well, in that case, you should put ‘master of witty comebacks’ on your résumé.”
You playfully nudge him. “I think I’ll leave that off. Don’t want to make anyone too jealous.”
A small smile tugs at the corners of your mouth as you shake your head. "I guess it's just... I just never thought I'd be doing something like this, you know?" You pause for a beat, searching for the right words. It’s James that speaks next, "Ever since we met, I just can't get you out of my head. I know it sounds silly, but..." You let the silence stretch out between you, unsure of what he is going to  say next. You chuckle softly, a smile spreading across your face. "It doesn't sound silly at all," You say warmly. "In fact, I think…I think I've been feeling the same way."
James lets out a small laugh, feeling a surge of relief rush through him. "I guess we both felt the same way," you say, looking up at James. "I'm just glad you finally said something about it cause I would have been too embarrassed to say anything."
A small laugh shakes out of James as he leans down, his face inches away from yours. "And I'm glad I did," he says, his breath ruffling your hair.
With that, he leans in, his lips pressing softly against yours. The kiss is slow and sweet, and you feel like you're floating on a cloud of happiness. You can't quite believe that this is really happening, that James is really kissing you - and yet, it feels like the most natural thing in the world. As the kiss comes to an end, you look directly into James' eyes, feeling like your heart is about to burst out of your chest. "Thank you," you say softly, the words barely above a whisper.
James just smiles, a twinkle in his eye. "Thank you, too," he says, his voice dripping with affection.
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James stands in the empty kitchen, holding a piece of bread mid-bite. He’s just about to savor his sandwich when Margaret and Sirius burst through the door, their faces lit up with mischievous grins.
“So,” Margaret begins, her tone teasing, “who’s the mystery girl, James?”
James freezes, his hand still in mid-air, sandwich poised to take a bite. He looks at Margaret and Sirius with wide eyes, clearly caught off guard. He appears to be weighing the pros and cons of revealing his new relationship to his best friends.
Sirius steps forward with a grin that could rival the Cheshire Cat’s. “James, we’re not here to judge. We just want to make sure you’re happy. And if she makes you happy, then she makes us happy too. So, who is she?”
James swallows his bite, a smile slowly spreading across his face as he glances between Margaret and Sirius. “How did you even find out about this?” he asks, a mix of excitement and nervousness lacing his voice.
Margaret chuckles, leaning against the counter with an air of casual superiority. “Let’s just say we have our sources,” she says, her eyes twinkling with mischief. James raises an eyebrow, looking at her with a mixture of amusement and suspicion.
Sirius sighs dramatically, pressing his palms together as if in prayer. “Mom told us,” he reveals with a theatrical flair. “She’s one of us, after all.” He nods towards Margaret, who rolls her eyes but can’t suppress a proud smirk.
Sirius takes a few more steps toward James, his eyes gleaming with curiosity. “Come on, spill the beans. Who is she? We’re practically family.”
James takes a deep breath, a laugh escaping his lips. “Alright, alright. Her name is Y/n, and she works here in the kitchens.”
Margaret’s eyes light up with excitement, and she steps closer to James, practically vibrating with curiosity. “We need to know all the details. How did you meet her?”
Before James can answer, the phone starts to ring loudly, cutting through the conversation. James looks momentarily flustered, glancing between Margaret and Sirius before heading out of the kitchen to answer it. His face grows serious as he speaks into the phone, his voice dropping to an urgent whisper.
Sirius and Margaret exchange a concerned look, their eyes fixed on James as he speaks intently into the device. They can’t make out the words, but the seriousness of the conversation is palpable.
James’s expression turns darker, his lips curving into a frown. He glances over his shoulder, his gaze briefly meeting theirs before he hangs up the phone. He steps back into the kitchen, his face lined with worry.
“I have to go,” James says, his voice tinged with anxiety. “Something’s come up. I’m sorry.”
Margaret’s face pales slightly, her concern deepening. “Is everything alright?”
James looks at her with frustration and sadness etched into his features. “I’m not sure. I’ll let you know when I know more.” With that, he exits the kitchen, the door closing softly behind him.
As the door clicks shut, Sirius’s phone buzzes in his pocket. Margaret, ever the curious one, quickly rushes to his side. They both glance down at the screen, their faces a mixture of curiosity and concern.
Sirius hits the speakerphone button, and Remus’s voice crackles through. “Have you heard? Have you seen the news?”
Remus’s tone is strained and urgent, and Sirius’s brow furrows as he listens intently. “What’s going on, Remus?” Sirius asks, his voice thick with worry.
Remus takes a deep breath before delivering the news. “It’s Delilah,” he says, his voice low and intense. “She’s back.”
Margaret’s eyes widen in shock, and she looks at Sirius, whose expression has grown grim. “Delilah? As in the evil wicked witch of the west Delilah?”
Sirius lips tug and he grins at Margaret. “Yeah, the one and only. This isn’t good.”
Margaret takes a deep breath, her face pale. “What does this mean?”
Sirius glances at Margaret, his expression serious. “It means things are about to get complicated. We need to figure out what’s going on and what we’re going to do next.”
Margaret’s gaze shifts back to Sirius, and she nods, determination settling on her face. “Alright. Let’s figure this out. But first,” she adds with a wry smile, “can we finish the sandwich before all hell breaks loose?”
Sirius chuckles, the tension in the room easing slightly. “You know, I think that’s a brilliant idea. Can’t let a good sandwich go to waste, after all.”
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《 PREVIOUS PART 》 《 NEXT PART》
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Tagging: @sssstarstruck @cloudroomblog @ietss @kquil @arctvrvs @loving-and-dreaming @enamoredofbella @astonishment @empath-bunny @white-wolf-buckaroo @semi-tuned @mellinnaaa
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siriuslygay1981 · 10 months
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Sirius- You know, I was thinking, what if I maybe unpack here?
Remus-Then alot of your stuff would be here?
Sirius-Well, what if all of my stuff was here?
Remus-Then you’d be going back and forth all the time to your flat and then mine.I mean, it wouldn't be practical siri.
Sirius-...What if we live together and you understand what I’m saying?
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fruityindividual · 11 months
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fave rj lupin moment is when he sips an amortentia-spiked beverage and discovers self-love if u even care..
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lionmythflower · 7 months
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how the nickname reg came to be
sirius, arguing with evan in French: Je suis droit comme une règle!*
James: what did u say abt regulus?
Evan: no he said-
sirius: *giggling madly bc he just came up w a nickname to annoy regulus with* DON'T EXPLAIN, IT MAKES IT LESS FUNNY
*"im as straight as a ruler!"
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padfootastic · 1 year
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I raise you this crack scenario: the final year that Sirius Black is allowed to win hottest person at Hogwarts is actually a tie between him and Bellatrix, because they may be deranged murdering bigots but they looked fucking stunning in their arrest photos. The Black family: Giving people complexes since their family began
hehehehe this is even funnier if like. bella was a few years above them. and by the time reg’s in say, 7th year, he thinks he might just have a chance since he’s more visible now, prefect and capt of Quidditch team and what not ykno? sirius has been out for a bit, bella’s shacked up w a cult leader.
everything’s on track for him winning it. some random student doing so isn’t even the question—for as long as a black has been in hogwarts, they’ve bagged the top spots (except that one year when james potter’s robes disintegrated in the middle of the great hall due to an accidental self prank and all his assorted muscles & tattoos were on display just a few days before the voting. reg maintains it was sabotage. others say it was an attempt to flirt with his brother, which is exactly the worse option)
except. except. nope. that’s not gonna happen either. sirius consistently sweeps the whole thing. (i forgot the timeline for a sec but if u could ignore canon years and pretend like bella and s were caught when reg was in his final year—this scenario is HILARIOUS)
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lafleshlumpeater · 9 months
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sirius black x slytherin!reader
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achillvs · 2 years
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when harry names his first son, he aches with longing. he misses the people who will never meet this boy and who his heart breaks after daily. he calls his first son james sirius potter and something in his blood and something in the night sky rejoices in the reunion.
when harry names his second son, he aches with the weight of the war. he misses the teenage boy who died in the forest and he misses the teenage boy who died in the cave, both of whom he never got to know properly but both got him to the other side of the war without knowing it. he calls his second son regulus potter and something in his blood and something in the night sky rejoices in the reunion and in brothers who will never be erased from family portraits.
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moraxswhore · 2 years
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theres something about men being covered in blood that i find so fucking sexy
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Bang bang and dark room
for @wolfstarmicrofic
content warning: mentions of death, thoughts of suicide
Remus wants to die. Honestly, can't believe he's still alive, james, lily, peter, very much not. How is it that he's the one who made it to the now, the after? He feels the least worthy of such a prize. Especially now, curled up in the corner of the bed, everything still smelling of him, the sheets still twisted in such a way that Remus knows that the last time he slept here it was uneasy, plagued with nightmares, perhaps with guilt.
The room is dark, but despite having been gone for two moons, Remus can tell it's largely how he left it. His books still stacked high in haphazard piles, dingy jumpers shoved into the wardrobe, loose threads erupting from the sleeve edges. A record is still sitting on their turntable, needle down, as if it just finished playing.
Remus closes his eyes, unable to bear witness to this space, this flat - it feels traitorous. Blemished. He doesn't think he will be able to bear staying here, but he has nowhere else to go.
Behind his lids, Remus doesn't find the escape into darkness he was hoping for. Instead, he's plagued with explosions of light, colorful eruptions that are mirror images of the sight he stumbled into just a few hours prior. He finally had the strength to apparate into the public apparition zone in Diagon Alley, only to be immediately overwhelmed by the onslaught there. Streets full, cheering, drinking, dancing, wands raising to the sky periodically in celebration, colorful sparks streaking across the sky, bang bang. He could feel it reverberating in his chest. Can still feel it now.
Remus, dirty, bleeding from the pesky cut above his eye that keeps breaking open despite his muggle and magical remedies, two weeks out from the last moon but having just gotten out from his deep cover, looks around in horror. Hands shaking, he picks up a discarded Daily Prophet in the road, and promptly retches onto the cobblestones.
It is November 1st, and Remus wants to die.
He hopes that his next moon will be the one that finally gets him, the one he won't wake up from. Even now, he can feel anger, the hatred, the revulsion starting to simmer in the deepest bits of his bones and he knows that the next moon, without his pack, any pack, he will turn on himself. He thinks it might be what he deserves, for being so blind, so foolish, for somehow not seeing this coming, for not being able to protect them.
He opens his eyes to the ceiling, stares at the stars they charmed to appear on the ceiling, feels the bile rise in his throat. Remus closes his eyes again.
Bang, bang.
Cross-posted on A03
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fool-inthe-rain · 1 year
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Lonesome and Mad
Sirius Black x Reader
wc: 3700~
Content: Angst. Almost a happy ending (Sorry). Time Jump. Use of she/her pronouns. Use of Y/n. Death, imprisonment, the usual angst yall get from me. Pretend Flitwick retired early or something and doesn’t teach charms while Harry is at Hogwarts. Mentions of depression and anxiety. 
Navigation
The days following his arrest were the most gut-wrenching days she had ever experienced. Having to go through thousands of emotions at once. Trying to wrap her head around the fact that James and Lily were dead, slain by the Dark Lord. Trying to understand how her sweet Sirius could have killed not only Peter but twelve muggles as well. 
1st November, 1981
She had been lying on the floor for about twelve hours now. Her entire body hurt, but nothing was more painful than the beating of her heart. Her tears had stopped a while ago, not from a lack of sadness. She had cried every tear she possibly could and now there was only numbness. Flashes of the small Halloween get-together they all had flashed through her brain. She was desperately trying to hold onto the final memories of her best friends. 
Lily, her best friend since first year, had dressed up as a storybook witch, big hat, fake wart, and all. James had dressed as Merlin, he had even gotten a fake beard to complete the look. They had Harry dressed in a baby-sized Gryffindor robe and James had found a small stick in the yard for Harry to use as a wand. 
The images of her friends muddied her brain. How they could be so happy and celebratory, surrounded by friends, and then gone forever not an hour after the party was over haunted her. She tried to think of everything that had happened, she was desperate to know if there was some way this could have been prevented. The only thing that was unusual was that Peter only stayed for about thirty minutes before leaving. Sure he seemed jumpy and anxious, but that's how he was for as long as she had known him. Though it was hard to think about, she knew there was no way to save Lily and James. Voldemort wanted them dead, and he got exactly what he wanted. 
But Sirius? Was he a traitor all this time? Believing he had committed a mass murder was the most difficult part to comprehend. He was an integral part of the Order. He was brave and loyal, he would do anything for James. He was so proud to be Harry's Godfather. Every time he said he loved her, was he lying? Her entire world was destroyed and the only thing she could get herself to do was lay on the freezing cold floor. 
Snape was the one who found her on the floor. They were never the best of friends, but she knew how much he loved Lily so she tended to take it easy on him at school. He had apparated to her home shortly after he had seen Lily and James dead, he knew if anyone was taking this exceptionally hard, it would be her. He walked into the small house, calling her name only to get no answer. He finally stumbled upon her laying on the kitchen floor, her back turned to him. 
“Y/n?” Snape kneeled down, putting a gentle hand to her waist. 
“I can’t get up.” She whispered. She knew it was Snape, afterall the only other person who had such heavy footsteps was now rotting in Azkaban. 
“Alright.” This was the one time she was happy Snape wasn’t a talker. 
“Would you like me to get Lupin?” He asked after a few moments of silence. 
“Yes, please.” At the mention of his name she began to cry once more. She hadn’t even thought about the fact that her best friend was going through exactly the same thing as her. 
Without another word, Snape had stood and apparated away. She stayed on the floor. Paralyzed by her grief, she knew if she tried to stand the effort would be futile. Another loud apparition induced crack rang through the house signaling that Snape had made his way back, hopefully with Remus. Even though she knew Remus would need just as much comfort as her, she still couldn’t find it in her to get up. She didn’t have to however because before she knew it, Remus was laying across from her on the ground. His eyes were bright red and puffy, and he had a sickeningly sad look on his face.
Snape left as soon as he saw Remus get down on the floor with her. Neither spoke for about thirty minutes, they instead decided to just be grateful for eachothers company.
“Moony?” Y/n was the first to speak, though he almost didn’t hear her hushed tone through the wall of thoughts coursing through his mind.
“Hmm?” He didn’t trust himself to speak without crying.
“Will it hurt this bad forever?” Silent tears leaked from her eyes.
Remus lifted a hand, placing it on her wet cheek.
“I think so dove.” He gave her a sad smile.
It would hurt for eternity and thereafter.
November 1991
Things had changed. Y/n took up a post at Hogwarts as the Professor for Charms after Flitwick had left, and Snape had invented a life changing potion for Remus’s furry little problem. Y/n and Remus moved into neighboring homes so as not to be alone in their mourning. Life was better, well, for the most part. 
What hadn’t changed was the constant pain just from being alive. The beating of her own heart served as a constant reminder that two of the people she loved most were dead and gone. Rage still churned in her blood every time she thought about Sirius and what he did. Many things were different, but these things were permanent. 
Harry was now eleven and attending Hogwarts. When the sorting had yelled Gryffindor after sitting atop his head, y/n had to excuse herself from the professors table so her new colleagues wouldn’t think she was weak for crying at a silly hat saying a silly word. She had spotted him as soon as he walked into the Great Hall. How could she not? He looked exactly like James, silver framed, round glasses, dark messy hair. He was the spitting image of his father. 
Though they were two months into the first term, y/n still had yet to speak to Harry, to let him know who she was. He was in her class, and every time she thought of asking him to stay back after said class, he did something so reminiscent of his parents and she would become too overwhelmed with grief to say something. 
Harry ended up finding out before she had the chance to speak up. Her own fault, she told herself, she was too cowardly to bring up the past, to relive that horrible day. She wasn’t exactly sure how he found out, but when he came storming into her office with as determined a look an eleven year old can have, she knew exactly what was going on.
“You knew my parents, didn’t you?” He was upset, that was clear as day.
“I did.” 
“Why didn’t you tell me! Two months you’ve been my teacher and you haven’t said anything!” Harry was yelling, his fists balled at his sides.
“Sit, Harry. Please.” She gestured to the chair sitting on the opposite side of her desk.
Harry did as he was asked, still fuming however.
“What do you want to know?” The question was so simple and calmly spoken, something he wasn’t expecting after the outburst he had.
“Everything.” 
Y/n let out a small laugh, 
“That could take a while, and I promise you will in time know everything, but how about for now we start with just a little less than everything?” 
“Okay,” He sat and thought for a moment, sussing out what would be best to ask first. “How did you know them? How did you meet?”
“Well, I was in Gryffindor, just as your mother and father were. I met Lily the very second I stepped foot onto the Hogwarts express for the first time. She was bumbling down the corridor like a lost puppy and she bowled right into me. As soon as she calmed whatever frenzy she was in to help me up, I knew she would be my first friend. My forever friend.” Y/n smiled at the memory, wishing she could go back in time.
Harry was also smiling. He was picturing his mother on the train, bright red hair pluming around her as she ran down the length of the train.
“And my father?” He looked hopeful, happy to have another piece of his parents. Even if it was a memory he wasn’t a part of.
“Well, I met James on the first day of classes. He already had quite the group of friends, and Lily and I decided very quickly that we wanted nothing to do with him. You can see how that ended up.” She smiled at the young boy. “It took the both of us a while to warm up to each other, but by fourth year James was one of my most loyal friends.” 
Y/n let Harry sit with the new information for a few moments.
“One more question,” She checked her watch, “then I believe you have to be getting to your next class.”
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Harry wasn’t angry this time, curious was the right word now.
It was her turn to think now, it was a loaded question, though he didn’t know that.
“Well, in complete honesty Harry, it was too painful to think about. You are more like them than you will ever know, and I had no clue how to approach the subject with you. I didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t want to make you think of the things you have lost. I just wanted you to live as a normal student for as long as possible.” 
“I’m happy I found out. If it’s not too much trouble, could I come here when I want to learn about them?” He asked sheepishly.
Her heart swelled at the thought of having a relationship with Harry, to finally be the Aunt she had only gotten to be for a little over a year.
“Of course. Anytime you need to talk about anything, you know where to find me.” 
Harry stood from the chair, giving her a wide smile.
“I-I have to get to transfiguration, but thank you. I enjoyed hearing about them.”
“Go on, I’ll see you tomorrow.” 
Like a bolt he shot out of her small office so he wouldn’t be late. They both kept their promises that year, and the years following. Harry got to learn about his parents, and y/n got to reminisce on the best years of her life. 
September 1993
Sirius escaped Azkaban. Simple as that, though the situation was anything but simple. Harry had been told why this was such a big deal a few days prior, the work of Arthur Weasley. Y/n had been invited by Molly Weasley to join them and Harry before the term started, of course she accepted. She had become someone Harry was comfortable with, and there weren’t many people like that in his life, so anytime she could be there for him she would be. The two had grown quite close over his first three years at Hogwarts, Harry had confided in her, he kept her thoroughly updated on his life and though she was his professor he saw her as the person she was supposed to be. His Aunt. 
The two had a lengthy conversation about Sirius, and though it hurt her entire being to talk about him, she answered all of his questions. What she didn’t tell him was that Sirius was his Godfather, nor did she tell him that Moony, or now, Professor Lupin, would be joining them at Hogwarts this year. She figured that was a conversation Remus had to initiate with him, when he felt ready. 
January 1994
Remus Lupin was settling in nicely at Hogwarts. He told Harry that he also knew his parents, and while Remus was a bit more hesitant to get close to the boy, they still had a friendly relationship. The year had gone fairly smooth for all parties, besides the elephant in every room. That elephant being Sirius Black of course. Remus and y/n were on high alert everyday, trying to keep Harry safe was a difficult task, especially when the boy had a new found tendency to sneak out of the castle. The night Remus found him in the dark hallway with Snape chastising him, it took him half a second to recognize the old piece of parchment in Severeus’s hand. The Marauder’s Map. Where Harry had gotten it he had no clue, but when the pair had gotten back to his office and Harry had told him he saaw Peter’s name on the map, everything came crashing down around him.
Remus waited for five minutes after Harry had left his office before racing down the faculty hallway, loudly banging on y/n’s door. At that moment he had no care in the world for the sleeping portraits or professors. By the grace of Godric she was still awake, and she quickly ushered him inside to silence the horrible noise of his loud knocking.
“Moony? What is it? What happened?” She placed both hands on his shoulders which were heaving from the sprinting he had just done.
He pulled the map from his back pocket, flicking it in the air for her to see.
“Is that what I think it is? Where the hell did you find that after all these years?” 
“Harry had it, don’t ask me how because I don’t know, but right now I need you to be quiet and listen to what I’m about to say.” His eyes were wild.
“Okay.” She nodded, nervous for whatever would pass through his lips next.
“Harry said he saw a name on the map, a name we all thought no longer existed.” 
“Remus, you're scaring me.” She was incredibly confused and scared for her friend who had obviously just had some sort of epiphany.
“Peter Pettigrew.” 
“What the fuck are you talking about? Are you sick? He’s dead Remus, he has been dead for twelve years!” She was angry now, she didn’t know if this was some cruel joke or what, but she wasn’t having it.
“I didn’t see it! Harry did, and you know that boy doesn’t lie, and neither does this map!” He hit the front of his map against his free hand. He turned away from her, giving himself a minute to calm down. 
Y/n paced the room, trying to unscramble this new riddle in her life. 
“Does this mean, does this mean he didn’t do it? Is Sirius innocent?” Her breath was quickening, her anxiety was spiking, and that cruel night began replaying in her head, over and over, as if it were there to torture her. 
“That is exactly what that means! Smart girl, I knew you would figure it out! Now we need a plan, how do we get to Sirius before anyone else?” He turned back to face her, his eyes met not the steeled thirty-two year old woman, but the scared twenty year old who had just learned her best friends were dead. 
Remus slowly made his way to her, helping her sit on the edge of her bed.
“Deep breaths dove, it’s okay. You’re not there anymore, you're in Hogwarts in your room. Everything will be okay.” 
His strong hand running along her back and the reassuring words did nothing to quell her racing mind. His voice went in one ear and out the other as she thought about the exact moment the news reached her, how she fell to the ground and didn’t get up for over twelve hours. Suddenly her heartbeat was the loudest thing in the room.
“I-I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe Moony, please make it stop!” She slumped into his side, clinging onto his shirt for dear life.
“Hey, I’m here, I’m here. Everything is okay y/n, I need you to take some deep breaths for me.” He ran his hand along her hair, praying to Godric that he was helping and not making things worse. 
When he finally felt her breaths slowing down, he gave a silent thank you to the sky. Minutes passed without a single utterance.
“Sirius is innocent.” She choked out after a while.
“He is.” Remus agreed.
The air was heavy, and their minds were racing, but Sirius was innocent, that was all that mattered.
May 1994
Hagrid was inconsolable, Buckbeak was dead and y/n had been in the hut with him for over an hour, listening to him tell all his best stories about the sweet creature. She felt for Hagrid, and she truly enjoyed hearing the stories, it gave her something meaningful to do with her night, and she was more than happy to be a shoulder to cry on for him. Hagrid’s latest story was interrupted by Remus unabashedly opening the door to the hut.
“Remus? What are you doing here?” Y/n stood up quickly, concern painting her face.
“Hagrid, I am very, very, sorry about Buckbeak but I need Professor y/l/n to come with me right now.” He was out of breath, but he got his point across without too much struggle.
“Oh go on, I've had yer ear for long enough.” Hagrid waved his hand signaling she could go. “I’ll be ok.” 
That was all Remus needed to hear and within seconds he had grabbed her hand and pulled her from the small house, quickly running in the opposite direction.
“Sirius is back, we need to get to the womping willow now.” 
They both quickened their pace, not knowing what was to come. The willow was angry, violently thrashing her branches into the earth. Fortunately the pair had experience dealing with the outbursts of the tree and they made it underneath with only a few scratches. Travelling through the tight tunnel under the tree they made it to the shrieking shack just in time to see Harry wrestling with Sirius. 
The next fifteen minutes were a blur, Snape had somehow made his way there and had subsequently been thrown into a bed by a spell cast by Harry, Scabbers was revealed to be Peter, Harry was thrown for a loop multiple times, demanding answers and explanations, which he got. Sirius and Remus fell into stride after the yelling had subsided, after Harry learned the truth. It was as if the past twelve years had never happened, and yet he had yet to see her. She knew Remus had it handled, she knew this was his way of getting consolation, helping Sirius. She stayed back in the hallway, watching from afar. She would be lying if she said the only reason she did that was to not get in the way, as soon as she laid eyes on his withering figure she was paralyzed the same way as the night when her world was torn to shreds. 
The Aftermath
Peter was back to being human, Remus, Harry and Sirius were all talking in a corner, Hermione was tending to Ron’s wound, and yet there she still stood in the shadows, not knowing how to make herself known to her old love. It wasn’t until her name came up in the conversation that she was finally broken out of her trance. She could hear Sirius asking about her, and Remus turned noticing for the first time that she had not followed him into the room. 
“Harry give us a moment will you?” Remus asked, “Looks like your friends could use some help.”
Harry agreed and as he walked away Remus clapped a hand onto Sirius’s back.
“Follow me will you?” He looked to his oldest friend.
Remus led him out into the small hallway, and his eyes met hers for the first time in twelve years. Her chest was heaving from adrenaline and anticipation, her lip was bloody from the force of her teeth chewing on it for ten minutes straight, her brain had no clue what to do. Her legs carried her to him, her hands touched his face, and her lips parted.
“Twelve years, twelve bloody years and you were all I could think about.” Her voice was a whisper, so quiet and unsure of itself that she didn’t even know if she said the words out loud.
“You didn’t hate me?” He was timid.
“I hated you. I hated you for so many years, but no matter how much I hated you, I still found myself loving you.” A few tears lept from her eyes at the feeling of her skin on his, at the sound of his beautiful voice.
She leaned in, kissing him in a way that made him believe they had never been apart. Their lips clashed and his hands gripped her waist so tight that even if her knees gave out she would still be standing. 
Her first love and her first hearbreak all wrapped in one. 
The Inbetween
It was difficult to say the least. They had to figure out how to be around each other again, but no matter how hard it was the love they had for each other made everything seem so easy.
Sirius’s name was cleared after many months of secret meetings in secret locations which had not seen a human for centuries. They returned to 12 Grimmauld, fell asleep together every night, and woke up with their limbs entwined every morning. She told him stories about Harry, she detailed the past twelve years, and he hung onto every word. He cried into her chest in the middle of the night, nightmares plagued his mind, but now he had comfort, something he hadn't felt in over a decade. They both chased happiness and finally caught it after those excruciating years. No higher being or evil creature would separate the two ever again. Their bliss was their defense, but they were blindsided by another war, more chaos, and history would repeat itself.
Voldemort had returned.
18th June, 1996
The cycle continues. Happiness, tragedy, mourning, numbness. One simple spell was all it took to knock him into the hands of death. One simple spell was all it took for him to be ripped away from her once more. This time for good. 
This time for eternity.
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colgatebluemintygel · 2 years
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re: Sirius being in the end of the leash... somebody needs to keep him from fighting the children :/
hahaha sooo true, he needs 2 be pinned to a wall and then leashed <333 good thing i know the perfect guy for the job
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fruityindividual · 1 month
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reading my own fic beginning to end for the first time.
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amiableness · 7 months
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Little Lies
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Pairing: Sirius Black x Fem! Reader
Summary: James asks Sirius and Y/n to pretend to date after he blurts out they are to Lily.
Word Count: 11.4k
Warnings: smut 18+, male masturbation, oral fem receiving, fingering, unprotected sex (pls be so careful!), reader wears a bikini top, and jealousy
A/N 💌 Hope you all enjoy this; it's been my baby for a while!
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
“I may have severely fucked up.” James sighs, his features tight with guilt as he stands before you. His chest is heaving like he has run all the way to you—it’s a likely theory.
Remus glances up from beside you; the two of you had been buried in your homework in the common room when James came racing in. He’s disappointed that James has disrupted the productive atmosphere. There’s no way that you or Remus will be continuing to work on your essays.
His admission doesn’t surprise you; James has come to you countless times seeking assistance after making a mistake. Being best friends since you were born, you’ve grown accustomed to being the one to untangle his messes.
Your parents were best friends, which meant that you and James were also raised to be. There wasn’t a memory that you could recall that James wasn’t in. It ended up working; to both of your mum’s excitement, you and James were inseparable. As the levelheaded one between you, you often found yourself trailing after James, tasked with picking up the pieces.
It was in the aftermath of pranks spiraling out of control, times when he impulsively voiced things he really shouldn’t have, or instances when he procrastinated excessively on his work, inevitably turning to you for help with his essays. Surprisingly, it’s become almost amusing to you, a reliable routine in your friendship.
You undeniably held the title of James Potter’s best friend.
Your eyes narrow skeptically, folding your arms over your chest, “Define severely.”
His demeanor turns sheepish as he nervously rubs the back of his neck, his gaze drifting away from you. He looks incredibly uncomfortable, “I don’t think you’re going to like it.”
“You’re not starting off strong.” You snark, an amused smile finding its way onto your lips. Remus chuckles next to you.
“Y/n.” James sighs, his expression urging you to stop your teasing.
“James.” You mimic.
He shoots you a glare, eyes narrowed in mock irritation, “Lily and I were chatting, like really chatting,” He begins, sighing obnoxiously as he settles into the chair opposite you, his expression a grimace. “She told me why she hasn’t taken me seriously when I flirt with her.”
You pause, confusion etching into your features, “And where exactly did you severely fuck up?”
"She thought we were a couple." He says, his hands gesturing wildly between the two of you, his expression a mix of incredulity and amusement. "Can you believe that? You and me?”
You can believe that, actually. You and James have been mistaken for a couple more times than you can count. Even your parents were convinced the two of you would end up together. While you had told them it wasn’t going to happen, you were convinced they were still holding out hope.
You furrow your brows as you watch him a tad uneasy, “Okay, and where did you severely fuck up in this?”
“I panicked, okay?” James looks guilty when he blurts this out. He nearly shouts it, and Remus hushes him. “She said it wasn’t fair for me to flirt with her because of you. She didn’t want your feelings to be hurt and wouldn’t listen when I said we were just friends. And I panicked.”
“Mate, get to the bloody point.” Remus huffs out, tired of James dragging out the story. Nothing bothered Remus more than when James or Sirius took an eternity to get to the point of their story.
“I told her you’re dating Sirius.” James grimaces, shifting nervously.
“What?” You hiss, your palms smacking onto the table, causing James to flinch, “Have you taken too many hits to the head? James, we are not dating!”
James protests, panicking, "But Lily doesn't know that! If you two could just pretend-"
"No, absolutely not! That is going too far." You snap, sending James a frustrated look, while Remus is chuckling to himself next to you.
"Y/n, please. This could be it! My chance with Lily!" James pleads. He’s desperate to try and salvage the plan he had put all his hopes on.
"Starting your new relationship with a lie, are we?" You snap, massaging at your temples. Most of the stress is from spending too many hours studying, but James is undoubtedly making it worse.
James shrugs, a mischievous smirk starting to form, "Well, not really. You and Sirius already flirt a lot. It’s not that far off from the truth."
James was well aware of your feelings for Sirius; he had watched how you nervously stumbled over your words the first day you met Sirius. He had never seen you like that before, eyes lit up with inflation at first glance.
While he occasionally teased you about it, he understood that what you felt for Sirius was deeper than just a crush. Though you would never admit it out loud.
Your frustration grows, "It absolutely is far off from the truth. Lily probably didn’t even believe you! There's no evidence for her to believe the idea that we are together.” You cry, disbelief evident in your voice. James's casual attitude only adds to your frustration. He doesn’t seem bothered in the slightest.
Remus interjects, an amused scoff escaping him, “There's evidence to believe it."
"Are you joking?" You deadpan, your voice full of incredulity. Remus sends you a teasing smirk. He considers how Sirius flirts with you more than anyone else, but he doesn’t want to deal with Sirius furious at him.
Ever since you met Sirius, you have had a crush on him. Realistically, you knew it was pointless; Sirius had a fan club of admirers. So, you counted yourself lucky that you were one of his closest friends. Being his friend was manageable, and quite honestly, kept your expectations in check.
But Sirius acting like he had feelings for you? You wouldn’t handle that well.
James interjects, "Lily believed it. She even said she wasn't surprised."
"But she thought you and I were together?" You ask, sarcasm dripping from every word.
Your tone was snippier than you intended, but you could feel the stress building. The mere thought of pretending to be with Sirius made you feel nauseous.
"She might've just been jealous, wanting to know if you had feelings for James before she finally goes for him." Remus says casually, and James' eyes light up in excitement.
James is positively giddy as he leans forward, “You think she was jealous?”
"Does Sirius even know?" You interrupt, catching James's eye. He glances at Remus, clearly hoping to hear more about Lily’s supposed jealousy.
James shakes his head, and you scoff, opening your mouth to enlighten James on why you think this is a bad idea. Before you can say anything, Remus cuts you off, “Here’s your chance to tell him.”
You glance up to see Sirius walking through the library, and you resist letting out a lovesick sigh at how effortlessly handsome he is.
Your stomach plummets at the sight of a stunning girl effortlessly chatting with him. His laughter rings out, causing unease to settle in your stomach.
If he was close enough, you probably would’ve tried to eavesdrop.
Despite not knowing her name, you know she’s a Gryffindor; you’ve seen her in the common room. James nudges you, and when you glance at him, he sends you a knowing look.
"Glad to see you guys are having study dates without Peter and me." Sirius calls, settling into the seat next to James and patting him on the shoulder in greeting.
Relief washes over you as you notice that the girl who was with him a second ago is long gone. He glances over at you, and pauses in surprise at your disgruntled expression, "You okay?"
Remus chuckles at the question, finding the harsh look you shoot James hilarious. It’s clear that he’s finding this entire situation entertaining.
“Ask James about what he told Lily.” You say, voice strained with irritation. James sends Sirius a nervous smile, and Sirius looks at him oddly.
"What'd you do?"
Sirius asks, his eyes darting back to you, taking note of your frustrated expression. Your stomach tightens with nerves, scared of Sirius’ reaction. Remus leans back in his chair, excited to see how this will all play out.
"Lily and I were talking today," James sighs, "and she wouldn't stop going on about how she thinks Y/n is in love with me and that it's not fair for me to flirt with her because I could be hurting her."
"She thinks I'm in love with you?" You shriek, oblivious to the barely visible flinch on Sirius' face at James' words. Remus catches it, his grin getting bigger.
James ignores you, “Anyways, I said that it’s not a problem because you and Y/n are dating.” James finishes cautiously, his gaze locked on Sirius, curious for his reaction. Your breath is caught in your throat, your eyes fixed intently on Sirius, awaiting his reaction as well.
"You told Lily that Y/n's my girl?" Sirius inquires casually, causing your stomach to somersault at his words. You force yourself to focus on James instead of the warmth creeping into your skin.
"I panicked, and that's what came out. So, if you guys could pretend you're madly in love, that would be great!" James claps his hands together, and you feel the urge to wack him. You're prepared to snap at him, to explain why asking this of you both isn’t right.
But then Sirius shrugs, "Sure, shouldn't be too hard, right, sweet girl?" He says, and your legs feel like jelly.
You're floundering, not having expected Sirius to agree. He’s never maintained a steady relationship, so pretending that he’s dating you is a big ask. His agreement sends your mind spiraling with different scenarios. For a brief second, you wonder if he agrees so easily because he has feelings for you. But you quickly shut down that thought.
You’re delusional. You truly are.
"Sure, that shouldn't be too bad." You agree, hoping you appear casual about this.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
"I need you two to amp it up. Lily is eating breakfast with us today." James directs, causing you to glance up from your breakfast, disbelief etched into your features. He takes a bite of bacon and casually observes you as though his request is perfectly normal.
"We've switched spots, is that not enough for you?" You ask sarcastically, and Remus shakes his head, wearing an entertained smile as he continues eating breakfast. He can tell you're panicking about pretending to be with Sirius; it’s painfully obvious to everyone at the table.
You're usually seated between James and Peter, but when you attempted to slide into the seat this morning, James slammed his hand down on the seat and instructed you to sit next to your boyfriend, wearing a smug smile. Peter snorted softly but quickly replaced it with a sympathetic smile, silently apologizing for his reaction.
"I mean, we all know Sirius is into PDA, and you look terrified to even be sitting next to him." Peter points out, and you find yourself scrabbling.
Were you two supposed to be super affectionate? Would Sirius find it weird if you initiated it? Questions are flooding your mind leaving you feeling overwhelmed.
"I am not terrified. I just don’t know how to act." You insist.
"Act like you’re in love with him; it shouldn’t be too hard, right?" James quips, earning a glare from you. He responds with a playful wink.
"The boys are right. You need to sit closer to me.” Sirius declares as his arm slips around your waist, pulling you closer to him. You squeak his name in surprise, flustered at how easily he moves you. The boys chuckle at your bewildered expression, finding your embarrassment hilarious.
You feel disappointed when he releases you. Even more so when he doesn't pull you flush against him. Instead, your shoulder to shoulder, the distance between you both feeling more pronounced than ever.
"I'm still waiting on the PDA." Remus says with a playful smirk; his eyes are full of mischief when you glance at him.
You elbow Remus in the side, and he playfully nudges you back, causing you to bump into Sirius' side. Sirius surprises you by wrapping his arm around you, keeping you against him while playfully calling out, "Oi, back off, mate." Being pressed against his side causes warmth to spread through you as you lean further into him.
James watches as Sirius's cheeks flush, a soft smile on his face as he gazes down at you. You appear flustered but content, being so close to him, and James can't help but grin at the two of you.
"We're not going to be all over each other." You say, attempting to distract yourself from the fact that you’re pushed up against Sirius.
"Why not?" James leans forward with a grin, clearly finding everything about this entertaining. “That is what most couples do. Plus, Sirius openly flirts with everyone. But he won’t kiss his own girlfriend? It’s not believable.”
“Merlin, we should have talked about this last night.” You mumble under your breath, and Sirius chuckles beside you. He's entirely at ease. It doesn’t seem like he has any worries about pretending to be your boyfriend. With that observation, you try not to let your worries spiral out of control.
"Listen, we can do whatever you're comfortable with. If you don't want to kiss, then we don't have to," Sirius tells you gently, "but it would be sort of odd for us not to be somewhat affectionate."
The last thing he wants to do is make you feel uncomfortable. But there's a rush of exhilaration at the thought of holding you close and calling you pet names that were once off-limits. And the thought of possibly kissing you?
Surviving that would be inconceivable for him.
"You're right," You nod. “Let's just start off slow. It will be weird if we're all over each other today when we didn’t even sit together yesterday."
"Yeah, yeah! Flirt, be a little touchy, throw some cute pet names in here, will you, Sirius?" James calls out with great enthusiasm. You send him a look that you hope he understands as shut the fuck up. He doesn’t acknowledge your discomfort. Instead, he makes a heart shape with his hands, which adds to your annoyance.
Sirius presses a quick kiss to your temple, “Fuck off, mate. I know how to flirt with my girlfriend, right baby?” You freeze, your eyes widening in disbelief, while the boys laugh at your reaction. How exactly were you supposed to survive this?
You fall into a comfortable silence, happy to enjoy your breakfast as James issues his warnings to the boys, ensuring they behave themselves. Remus, with a subtle eye roll, acknowledges James's words while Peter nods emphatically in agreement. While, Sirius simply outlines every embarrassing memory he plans to share with Lily.
“Y/n, get your man in check.’ James complains in mock irritation, throwing a grape at Sirius, who dodges it.
"Good morning." Lily greets quietly. You all turn to see her approaching, her expression a mix of embarrassment and hesitance, as if she's debating whether to turn around and go to her usual spot down the table.
James abruptly stands up, his hip thumping into the table. He stifles a wince, trying to maintain his composure as he greets Lily, who tries unsuccessfully to suppress a smile at his reaction. Remus cringes and turns back to his breakfast, unable to look at James.
"Y'ready for this?" Sirius leans in, his voice lowered to a hushed tone meant only for you, effectively pulling you away from eavesdropping on James and Lily's conversation. You glance up at him, surprised to find you’re a mere inches away from him.
You're so close that you could individually count each of his eyelashes if you wanted.
You still feel the warmth of his breath mingling with yours, creating an intimate connection between the both of you.
It feels like a magnetic pull draws you closer, tempting you to tilt your head forward and touch his lips with yours. The urge to kiss him is so strong that it nearly knocks the breath from your lungs.
You clear your throat, attempting to push the thought from your mind. "I think so. We're newly dating, so don't go overboard with it." You remind him, a gentle smile playing on your lips.
“When have I ever gone overboard with anything in my life?” The smile he gives you is teasing, and it makes your heart pound to have him this close, his eyes sparkling as he smiles at you.
You hum softly in response, “I can think of quite a few times.”
His voice carries a flirtatious tone, “Can you?”
“Good morning, Lily.” Peter's gentle voice steals your attention away from Sirius. Disappointment and longing settle in his stomach as he watches you pull away and turn to greet Lily, that sweet smile now directed at her.
Lily settles between Peter and James. For a quick second, you feel a pang of jealousy because that's your spot. But when you notice James's pink cheeks and flustered expression, you forget all about it. All you want for James is for him to be happy, and having Lily near seems to do just that.
Breakfast goes smoothly. Lily fits seamlessly into your group, and you can tell it makes James giddy. He doesn't even mind not getting to talk to Lily much. He simply enjoys seeing the girl he's so hopelessly infatuated with getting along so well with his best friends.
You and Sirius aren't acting much differently than you normally do, just sitting close to each other and chatting. However, when Lily turns to you and Sirius, a wave of nervousness washes over you.
“I was so excited to hear you guys were together!”
"Oh yeah? So you can finally go for James with a clear conscience?" Sirius grins, teasing Lily, who looks thoroughly embarrassed. You nudge Sirius in the side, and he responds by giving your hip a gentle squeeze. James sends Sirius an incredulous look, which he pointedly ignores. While Remus and Peter chuckle at the playful banter.
Lily tucks a lock of hair behind her ear and clears her throat; her cheeks tinged with a hint of pink. "Uh, no, just that you two have obviously had feelings for each other for years. Everyone knew."
You're at a loss for words. Is that really what people thought? Clearly, they read you right, but you weren’t sure what to think about Sirius having feelings for you. Maybe he did, or maybe they were mistaking it for how he constantly flirted with you. But that was just how Sirius was; it didn’t necessarily mean he had romantic feelings for you.
"Haven't gotten her out of my head since the day I met her." Sirius says casually, his right elbow resting on the table as he pops a piece of bacon into his mouth. His other arm remains securely wrapped around your waist, holding you close to his side with a gentle yet firm embrace.
You look at him in shock, your eyes widening at his unexpected confession. Even the boys look slightly startled at Sirius' words, their eyes darting between you and him.
“That’s so sweet.” Lily says softly, her eyes glowing with genuine happiness as she sends you a warm smile. The sight tugs at your heartstrings but also stirs up guilt in the pit of your stomach. Lying always made you feel uneasy like a weight was pressing down on your chest.
"Sirius, I can't believe you thought that she—" Lily begins, her voice trailing off as James interjects, his interruption tinged with a hint of urgency.
"Okay, love! I think I should walk you to class, don't y' think?" James stands up from the table, extending his hand towards Lily.
Lily looks slightly confused, but she takes his hand nonetheless. As they walk away, James glances back and sends a wink in Sirius' direction. Your attention immediately shifts to Sirius, curiosity written all over your face as you’re about to ask about Lily's interrupted comment.
Sirius cuts you off before you can ask, shaking his head with a gentle smile and flushed cheeks, "Don't even bother asking; I’m not telling you what she was talking about.”
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
You’re curled up next to Peter on the common room couch, both of you chatting quietly together. For the last twenty minutes, he has been feeding you details about the Ravenclaw girl he has a crush on. He's sworn you to secrecy. Hoping for your advice on asking her out without enduring the teasing of the rest of the Marauders. Your gasp of excitement nearly gives away the secret, but you quickly compose yourself, offering a reassuring smile to Peter.
"Who is she?" You ask, excitement laced in your voice, but Peter sends you an apprehensive look.
"I'm going to keep that to myself. Your squeal almost let the boys know.." He teases, though his tone also carries a note of seriousness.
A laugh escapes you, "I promise when you’re ready to tell me I’ll be so careful about keeping it a secret."
"Oi! Are you two sharing secrets over there?" James calls out, his voice immensely curious. He’s sat with his back to the flickering flames, his palms flat against the floor as he leans back on them. Peter tenses beside you, but you maintain an easy smile. Remus and Sirius are lounging in the armchairs nearby, their attention piqued by the exchange.
"All my deepest darkest secrets." You tease, flashing James a grin. He furrows his brow and sits up, clearly riled up by your response.
“Y/n, as your best friend, I better know all these secrets.” James lips are pouted, his expression tinged with a hint of concern, as if he's genuinely worried that you and Peter are sharing secrets that he doesn’t know.
James has always been fiercely protective of your friendship. Despite being close to the boys, your bond with James was stronger. There was nothing that the two of you didn't confide in each other; he honestly did know all your secrets.
“You do.” You smile reassuringly, and James's expression breaks into a satisfied grin.
The boys continue their soft conversation by the crackling fire, the warm glow casting flickering shadows across the room, while you and Peter sit in comfortable silence. Both of you are lost in thought as you relax in the cozy atmosphere.
After stifling a good five yawns, you glance at the time and decide it's probably best to head to your room, the quiet of the common room signaling just how late it had gotten.
You inch closer to Peter, before finding the courage to lean over and envelop him in a friendly hug, your arms wrapping around his shoulders.
He's momentarily taken aback, his body tenses at your touch, but soon he relaxes, reciprocating by wrapping you in his arms. It's a gesture that feels somewhat out of character for you, but after he trusted you with his secret, it seems like the most natural thing to do, a silent affirmation of support for him.
"I think I'm going to go to bed." You tell him softly, "But I promise we'll talk more tomorrow."
“I’d like that.” He smiles at you as you pull away. You grab your bag and make your way in the direction of the stairs.
“Goodnight boys!” You call out softly over your shoulder before disappearing up the stairs. Sirius watches you go, his gaze lingering on your figure, his thoughts full of you long after you've left the room.
Ever since you moved to hug Peter, his eyes have been on you, curiosity and jealousy settling in his stomach.
"Why the hell did you get a hug?" Sirius asks, his tone laced with bitterness as his gaze shifts to Peter, who appears taken aback by Sirius’ sudden question. Remus and James exchange amused glances, before they refocus their attention on Peter, waiting expectantly for an explanation to ease the tension.
“I don’t know, she just hugged me.” Peter squirms uncomfortably in his seat, his confidence quickly dwindling as he's put on the spot.
Sirius nods slowly, his lips pursing in contemplation. His carefully measured tone betrays the longing and a hint of possessiveness that he struggles to conceal, "What were you guys talking about over there?"
Remus interjects with a teasing tone, "Careful, Pads. You sound jealous." A playful glint dances in his eyes as he notices Sirius' furrowed brows and the discontent on his face.
“He’s got the boyfriend role down.” James quips, and Sirius sends them both a glare.
“I’m not jealous,” Sirius repeats quite grumpily. “I just don’t understand why Peter got a hug, and we didn’t.”
James barks out a laugh while Remus shakes his head, a chuckle escaping him in sheer disbelief.
"You're jealous because you have feelings for her." James states matter-of-factly.
Sirius begins to shake his head in denial, but Remus promptly interjects, his voice firm and unwavering, "’Haven't gotten her out of my head since the day I met her.’ What the fuck was that then?” Remus repeats Sirius’ words from the other day, perfectly mimicking his tone.
James bursts into laughter, the sound hearty and infectious, while Peter offers a small smile, observing Sirius as he struggles to respond.
“Not to mention, you’ve been staring Peter down ever since Y/n touched him.” Remus remarks while Sirius gazes blankly at him, his expression unreadable as he nervously chews on his bottom lip.
“You really have.” Peter adds with a grimace.
“You like her, mate.” Remus concludes, his words carrying a sense of finality that lingers in the air.
Sirius sighs heavily.
The conversation weighs heavily on him as he sinks down in the armchair, his brow furrowed in deep thought. The boys’ words replay in his mind. He was jealous, and he did like you. He already knew all of this. But he had always been cautious around you, mindful of the unspoken boundaries because of your friendship with James. A nagging worry in the back of his mind that James would be against any relationship between the two of you. James was his greatest friend, and he worried he could lose him if he attempted to go for you. The idea of James being unfazed by a romantic relationship between you and Sirius threw him off balance. It vastly differed from the scenarios he had envisioned, where James would react with fierce anger upon learning of Sirius' affection for you. The realization left Sirius feeling torn. Did that mean he could actually go for you?
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
As the air is warm and balmy, birdsong emanating from the trees while the leaves rustle in the gentle breeze. The sun casts everything in a golden haze, letting you know summer is near. The boys are certain of their decision: today is the perfect day to spend at the lake.
Laughter and chatter echo across the shimmering waters as the boys swim around the lake, reaching where you’re draped over a soft towel next to Lily. You have been trading gossip back and forth for the last couple of hours. It’s refreshing since usually you’re glued to the boys’ sides. You were constantly in the company of at least one of the four.
You feel a twinge of regret in your chest, realizing you haven't made an effort to have a close friendship with the girls. And you really should have. It wasn't a deliberate choice; James had always been your go-to person. Then, when you met the boys, you naturally formed close bonds with them, too. The thought of branching out and making more friends never really crossed your mind.
Though you value your friendships with the boys, you decide you desperately need to spend more time with the girls. The possibility of James and Lily getting together has you hopeful.
“You realize Sirius can’t take his eyes off you, right?” You choose to remain silent, only giving a shrug, fully aware that Sirius is merely pretending to be in love with you. To his credit, he's played the part convincingly throughout the entire week. There have been moments when you've found yourself questioning the authenticity of his actions, wondering whether his affection is genuine or merely his acting skills.
For someone who hasn’t had much practice with relationships, he possessed an innate ability to treat you like you were the only girl in his world. Whether it was a reassuring hand on your lower back as you maneuvered through the crowded halls, a tender kiss planted on your forehead when you parted ways, or the subtle exchange of flirty smiles whenever your eyes met across the room.
Sirius' laughter drifts over from the lake, reaching your ears, and a subconscious smile graces your lips. Lily must have seen your reaction, “Merlin, you really like him, don’t you?”
It was driving you to the brink of obsession. If this was the experience of being Sirius' girl, you wanted it more than before.
Despite your efforts to contain it, a sigh slips from your lips, "Yeah, I really do."
Confessing this feels uncomfortable. You've never talked to anyone about the depth of your feelings for Sirius, and now you're doing so under the guise of a fake relationship. You had come close to telling James, but you really didn’t need to. He had an uncanny ability to read you like an open book. Guilt churns in your stomach once more as you think about lying to Lily. What will her reaction be when you reveal that you and Sirius were never actually together?
The silence lingers for a few moments before you gently break it, "What were you about to say at breakfast the other day? Before James interrupted?"
Lily's expression shifts from confusion to excitement, her eyes lighting up, “Oh, in Charms! I finally wrangled it out of Sirius that he had feelings for you. But he insisted that nothing was ever going to happen because you didn’t like him back.”
It feels like you've been plunged into a tub of cold water. Your mind goes momentarily blank, a surge of disbelief flooding your senses as you struggle to comprehend Lily's words. Your body freezes in place, grappling with what this could possibly mean. There’s no possible way you heard her correctly.
“What? When was this?” Your voice escapes breathless and startled, yet Lily appears oblivious to it.
“Just a couple of weeks ago! I’m so glad he finally told you how he felt.” Lily smiles sweetly before laying back on her towel. If she notices you’re in a state of shock, she doesn’t say anything.
You hear a whistle, and no surprise, your best friend throws himself between you and Lily, “Don’t you two look pretty!”
Lily gasps as James leans down, playfully pressing his lips against her cheek, his hair dripping water onto her. Though she protests, you both can tell she doesn't truly mind it.
As James and Lily become wrapped up in their own world, you find yourself drifting back to the conversation from a moment ago. Your mind spins, still muddled by Lily's words. Sirius had feelings for you. Why hadn't he spoken up? Did he not want anything to come of it?
Your heart nearly stops when Sirius drops down and hovers over you, his hands propping him up on either side of your head. You barely register that he's shirtless and above you just before icy water cascades from his hair onto your skin. A startled cry escapes you as the cold droplets trickle down your cheeks, tracing a chilling path along your neck and chest.
“Sirius Black!” You had intended to sound angry, but laughter slips past your lips, betraying your emotions. Sirius grins at your reaction, his eyes trailing down from your eyes to shamelessly check out the bikini top you have on.
The boys had been teasing him relentlessly after witnessing how he practically fell to his knees when you walked into the common room wearing a bikini top and tiny denim shorts. You were oblivious to his gaze, heading straight for Lily and conversing about who knows what.
He couldn't tear his eyes away from you all day.
He feigns ignorance as you whine at him, responding with a sweet smile instead, “What, sweet girl?”
"Get off!" You squeal, though your tone lacks any real irritation. Deep down, you’re secretly enjoying having him so close, enveloping you in his presence.
“Whatever you want, sweet girl.” He mutters as he rolls off of you, repositioning himself so he's sitting behind you. With a gentle tap on your shoulder, he prompts you to sit up, then guides you until your back hits his chest. Once you're settled, he loosely wraps his arms around your shoulders before placing a kiss on your head.
Remus catches your eye as he and Peter make their way to their towels. Unlike Sirius and James, they hadn't hurried over to you and Lily. Instead, they took their time, chatting lazily while the sun warmed their skin. Remus sends you a sly, suggestive glance, and you respond by narrowing your eyes at him playfully.
Sirius and Remus engage in their own conversation, their voices blending into the background as Peter gestures for you to follow him. Sirius protests lightly, his eyes following you as you pull away from him to walk down to the lake with Peter.
You're gone for no more than twenty minutes, offering Peter advice on establishing a friendship with the girl he likes, perhaps making it easier for him to ask her out in the future.
Despite Remus' attempts to draw him back into the conversation, Sirius remains preoccupied, his gaze fixed on you until you eventually return and settle onto the towel beside him, seeking the familiar comfort of his presence. Only then does Sirius relax, draping his arm around you protectively.
He despises the twinge of jealousy that creeps in every time Peter has you to himself.
“Mate, you’re fucked.” Remus chuckles, and you assume it's due to something amusing said during their conversation. Sirius simply rolls his eyes and playfully extends his middle finger in Remus' direction, a gesture of mock annoyance that elicits a smirk from both of them.
The rest of the afternoon is spent wrapped up in Sirius as you chat with your friends and bask in the sun.
You spend the remainder of the afternoon draped over Sirius, basking in the warmth of the sun as you chat with your friends. It's been a while since you've felt so at ease.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
After lounging by the lake all afternoon, the thought of cleaning up for a party you had little interest in attending felt like an unnecessary chore. However, after an hour of James' persistent pleading, you eventually gave in and agreed to go. You were confused about why he insisted on your presence, especially when he'd be busy spending the evening with Lily. You couldn't help but think you could have been snug in bed with a good book instead.
“How long do you think it will take before they get together?” You turn to Remus, who is leaning against the wall next to you. He wasn't thrilled about coming tonight, either. The full moon was approaching, and he could already feel the effects beginning to take hold.
You scan the bustling room, eager to catch a glimpse of James and determine Lily's proximity. Impatience simmers within you as you wait for them to get together. Their relationship seems overdue, and you’re desperate for it to happen, bringing an end to the relationship you and Sirius are forced to maintain. Though being Sirius' girlfriend has its perks, the artificiality of the situation weighs on your conscience.
After a lazy afternoon enveloped in Sirius' arms, you had returned to your room feeling unsettled. The comfort of being held by Sirius felt genuine, yet it was all fake, and that realization deeply unsettles you. The longer this relationship goes on, the more you worry about your heart being left in pieces at the end.
“Probably any day now. Why? You aren’t having fun being Sirius’ girl?” Remus asks, casting a knowing smirk in your direction. You huff and give him a playful nudge, causing his drink to slosh around in his cup. He chuckles in response, amused by your reaction.
"It's not that, and you know it." You respond, frustration evident in your tone.
Remus turns towards you, a genuine smile on his face this time, "You guys are doing quite the job of looking infatuated with each other."
You shoot him a warning look, sensing where the conversation is headed.
But Remus persists, his gaze steady, "You should consider telling him how you feel."
You scoff. "Absolutely not."
"Why not? What have you got to lose?"
You meet his gaze, incredulous, "Our friendship, for starters."
Remus shakes his head, "Do you really think Sirius would end your friendship? I doubt you could get rid of him if you tried."
You meet Remus's gaze, your brow furrowed with uncertainty, "Okay, maybe he wouldn't end our friendship. But things would definitely get awkward, and who knows where it could lead."
Remus offers a small smile, "Or it could go well. You could end up together."
You remain silent, the weight of Remus's words sinking in as you contemplate the idea of confessing your feelings to Sirius. Your stomach churns with anxiety at the mere thought of opening up to him. The fear of rejection and the potential fallout from confessing weighs heavy on your chest.
But Lily had shared with you that Sirius had opened up about his feelings for you. Maybe there was a possibility that confessing your own feelings might not be as far-fetched as you had assumed. Maybe being with Sirius wasn't entirely out of reach.
Remus observes the slight furrow in your brow as you chew on your bottom lip, a clear indication of your spiraling thoughts. The dim light of the common room highlights the unease on your face. "Do you want a drink?" He offers, his voice gentle and reassuring.
You pause, considering his offer, grateful for the distraction, "Yes, please." You respond with a small smile, the tension in your shoulders easing slightly.
As Remus leaves to fetch you a drink, you're left alone with your thoughts, the chatter and laughter of the crowded common room serving as a backdrop to your contemplation. Your eyes wander over the sea of bodies, each occupied with their own conversations and activities, creating a lively yet chaotic atmosphere.
“Y/n, hi!” You startle as Max Townsend stands beside you, his sudden presence catching you off guard. You recall being partners in Charms a couple of weeks ago, but beyond that, your interactions had been limited.
"Hey, Max." You greet with a soft smile, noticing how his shoulders relax slightly at your acknowledgment. He settles against the wall, his posture casual yet attentive, as if genuinely interested in chatting with you.
"I know we haven’t talked much since Charms, but I’ve been meaning to catch up with you." Max says, his voice earnest as he breaks the silence between you.
You're surprised by his remark, "You have?" You ask, genuine curiosity coloring your tone.
"Yeah! I enjoyed spending time with you." Max admits, his voice slightly shaky as he offers you a shy smile. You notice the faint blush coloring his cheeks, a sign of nervousness.
"I enjoyed spending time with you too! I don’t think I could have passed the last exam without your help." You respond sincerely, returning his smile with warmth. His face lights up at your words, visibly relieved.
He regains some confidence and continues, "Actually, Y/n, I was wondering if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade sometime?"
Your smile falters, and you feel a pang of guilt. You have the excuse of having a boyfriend, at least. It makes things a little easier for you. For a second, you debate if you should say yes, go on a date, and move past your feelings for Sirius. But then you think about Lily‘s words and how he might possibly like you back. Not only that but you’re supposed to be in a relationship right now.
You can't bring yourself to say yes; truth be told, you don't really want to, anyway.
"That’s really sweet of you to ask. But I’m dating Sirius." You reply though the words feel heavy on your tongue, wishing they were true.
Max looks taken aback, "Sirius Black?"
"Yes." You confirm, feeling a wave of discomfort wash over you; turning someone down is always an awkward and uncomfortable experience.
Max shakes his head, looking confused, "I didn’t know Sirius-"
"You didn’t know what, Townsend?" Sirius looks hard at him, slipping his arm around your waist and handing you a drink. "Here, baby, Rem said you wanted a drink."
You thank him quietly, settling into his side with ease. Glancing up at him, you notice Sirius isn't looking at you; his gaze is fixed on Max. His jaw clenches tightly, and his usual friendly smile is absent. The message to Max is clear: back off, she's mine.
Max looks uneasy, eyes darting from you to Sirius, “Uh, I didn’t know you and Y/n were together.”
“And why were you talking about that?”
“Uh,” Max looks at you briefly, his expression tinged with panic. He lets out a sigh, reminiscent of a child caught in the act and resigned to confessing. “I asked her out.”
Sirius' entire body tenses, his tone laced with mock curiosity, “Did you?”
He feels sick at the thought of you going on a date with another guy. Images flash through his mind – Max holding your hand on a walk through Hogsmeade, flirting with you over dinner, and the possibility of him kissing you goodnight before you head back through the portrait at the end of the night.
A surge of intense emotion floods him, an overwhelming desire to lash out, to throw a punch and convey the unmistakable message that you are off-limits.
But then the reality hits him: you're not off limits. You're perfectly single, and maybe you actually wanted to go out with Max. The realization sinks in, gnawing at him from the inside, intensifying the ache in his chest.
“But look, man, I didn’t know she was your girl! Honest.”
"Max, it's okay. Really." You interject gently, offering him a reassuring smile. Max nods frantically, clearly relieved, before hurrying off in the opposite direction and disappearing into the crowd of Gryffindors.
“What the hell was that?” You turn to Sirius, but he refuses to meet your gaze. Instead, he drops his arm from your waist and leans back against the wall, taking a long sip from his drink, his expression unreadable
“Playing the part of your boyfriend. You should go find James, he was looking for you.” His mutterings reach your ears, and your stomach clenches with irritation as hurt flashes over your features. He's never shut down before you, and it hurts your feelings deeply.
You don’t bother saying anything; instead, you scoff and walk away. Sirius’s eyes follow you the second you leave, watching as you walk away with a heavy feeling settling in his stomach.
Maybe he did need to express his feelings to you. There might be a chance that you felt the same way. And if you didn't, at least he would know and could attempt to move on from you.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
“I think you need to check on Sirius.” James murmurs into your ear as you stand in the common room, waiting for Lily to join you. You're flanked by the boys, but Sirius is conspicuously absent.
You glance over at him, confused, “Why? Is he not coming down?”
“He bailed, said he isn’t feeling good.”
“He isn’t coming to Hogsmeade with us?” You all had meticulously planned your trip to Hogsmeade during the lake outing yesterday, discussing the shops you wanted to visit and the Butterbeer you couldn't wait to taste.
“Oh,” You mutter, “I’ll check on him and catch up with you guys then.”
You still harbor concern for his well-being, a lingering sense of care that remains despite the the frustration you feel about last night. You ascend the stairs, faintly catching Peter's inquiry about your destination and James' response that you won't be joining them anymore. You contemplate turning around, half-tempted to inquire with James about his statement, but decided against it, choosing not to waste your energy.
You're so deeply immersed in your thoughts as you walk through the hall that you don't even notice the sound at first.
The muffled noise filtering through the boys' dorm door catches your attention, causing you to pause in front of the door. You briefly entertain the idea that Sirius might be genuinely unwell, but skepticism lingers in your mind. The persistent groans don't quite fit the pattern of someone who's just sick.
You were on the verge of turning around, genuinely considering it, until you caught a muffled moan that distinctly sounded like your name.
You pause, questioning the authenticity of what you just heard, wondering if it was a figment of your imagination or if you truly heard your name. But then you hear it, “Fuck, Y/n. Feels so good.”
Your legs turn to jelly, the words coursing through your veins like an electric shock, leaving you feeling stunned and breathless.
Without a second thought or even a plan forming in your mind, you find yourself knocking on the door. Inside, you hear a muffled curse followed by shuffling before Sirius swings the door open nearly a minute later, clad only in pajama pants. His hair is tousled, his cheeks flushed, and he's breathing heavily. The surprise on his face is evident as he takes in your unexpected presence.
“What were you just doing?” Your words spill out more confrontationally than you intended, catching Sirius off guard. The surprise flickers across his face, evident in how his eyebrows knit together and his eyes widen slightly.
“Uh, I-” He glances back into his room, searching for a believable excuse among his belongings. Flustered, he struggles to come up with a convincing lie.
"Sirius," You press, and his eyes flicker back to you. He appears guilty, aware that you've caught on. "I just heard you." You add, your tone that is firm but not accusatory.
“Merlin, Y/n. I’m sorry I-” He stammers, his heart sinking into the pit of his stomach at the mere thought of you possibly feeling disgusted with him or worse, refusing to remain his friend because of what he’s just done.
“What were you thinking about?” You ask instead, taking a deliberate step closer to him. The room feels charged with tension, and you can sense Sirius's unease. His breath hitches as your presence draws nearer, his eyes flickering with a mix of apprehension and anticipation.
He glances over your shoulder, his gaze flicking to the empty hallway outside before he answers, “You.”
“Me?” You take a tentative step closer, your voice barely a whisper compared to before, its tone huskier, laden with curiosity and perhaps a hint of intrigue. You fix him with a daring look, a glint of challenge in your eye, as if silently daring him to take action.
He remains silent, his gaze fixed on you for a fleeting moment before he takes action, grabbing your hand and pulling you into the dorm without a word.
As soon as the door shuts, he presses you against the door, his movements swift and urgent. You let out a gasp in surprise, feeling the sudden shift in atmosphere as Sirius's intensity envelops you. His eyes, usually filled with mischief, now bore into yours with a mixture of seriousness and vulnerability.
“Y/n. Why did you knock on the door?”
You don’t answer at first, your eyes locked with his for a few heartbeats before you let out a sigh, “Because I heard you say my name, and now I know you want me the same way that I’ve always wanted you.”
Sirius doesn’t hesitate, his lips meeting yours with a sense of urgency that sends a shiver down your spine. The moment his touch connects with yours, you exhale softly, feeling the warmth of his lips against yours. With gentle pressure, you draw him closer, your arms wrapping around his shoulders while Sirius’ embrace envelops you, pulling you closer as if he never wants to let go.
He initiates with a tender kiss on your lips, then gently nibbles on your bottom lip, eliciting a gasp. Seizing the opportunity of your parted lips, he intensifies the kiss, pressing forcefully into your mouth. Sirius kisses you as if each moment is the first and last time, molding you into pliancy. You willingly surrender, allowing him to kiss you into a state of blissful oblivion.
As he withdraws, a soft whimper escapes your lips in protest. He casts a questioning glance your way as he lifts the hem of your shirt, and you respond with a nod of affirmation. Slowly, he peels it off of you and lets it drop at your feet. Shamelessly, he admires your breasts and how they sit so pretty in your black bra. For a moment, the thought of apologizing for the simple garment crosses your mind, but the way his gaze lingers on you halts any inclination to do so.
He leans down, pressing kisses and nipping at the exposed skin on your neck and trailing his way down to your chest. It steals your breath away, prompting you to weave your fingers through his hair as you tilt your head back, reveling in the sensation. He's murmuring praises against your skin, ranting about how beautiful you are, how sweet your moans are, and how you drive him crazy. Your heart pounds within your chest, and for an instant, you fear its thunderous rhythm might betray you, considering how near he stands.
“Take it off.” In a hushed tone, you speak, prompting Sirius's gaze to swiftly rise and lock with yours.
He encircles you with his arms, quickly undoing your bra, and you deftly push the straps down, allowing the garment to cascade down, unveiling your skin. Swiftly, you toss it into the growing pile that appears to be taking shape by the door.
Sirius gazes intently, his bottom lip captured between his teeth, and a subtle furrow forms between his eyebrows, “Fucking hell, y’have the prettiest tits I’ve ever seen.”
Before you can utter a word, his mouth is on your breasts. Pressing the softest kisses onto your nipple before gently biting it, causing your breath to hitch. He bends down, mirroring the gesture with the other one.
His hands, possessively grip at your hips, act as anchors, momentarily keeping you in place. However, a growing restlessness takes hold, and you start to squirm, a subtle plea for more of his attention. Silently comprehending your unspoken desire, he wordlessly responds. A gentle tug on your hand is all the communication needed, and without a moment's hesitation, you obediently follow his lead.
Guiding you, he directs you to settle onto his bed, a silent request you readily heed. Your legs dangle over the edge of the bed as you rely on your elbows to bear all your weight.
Sirius kneels in front of you, easily slipping off both of your shoes and tossing them to the side. He reaches up, hooking his fingers into the waistband of your skirt before tugging it down and off of your legs. You’re left in a pair of gray panties that easily show how soaked you are for him.
He pushes on your knees until your legs are completely spread for him, and he can get a clear view of your soaked underwear. A hushed curse escapes his lips, the words slipping out quietly as his gaze lingers on you.
“You’re fucking stunning. I don’t know what I did to deserve this. To deserve you.” You bask in his words, your body thrumming with warmth and delight as his sweet sentiments wash over you.
He glances up at you, and he nearly loses it right then and there. You’re watching him through hooded eyes, your pupils dilated wide, a silent reflection of your anticipation and desire. He doubts he could ever erase the image of the way you're gazing at him, etching it into his memory with the fervent wish to witness it for the rest of his days.
He caresses his hands along your thighs, fingers gently squeezing and kneading with each pass. Occasionally, he leans down, planting tender kisses on your sensitive skin, each one a whispered promise of affection. The closer he gets to your core, the more you squirm and let out soft whimpers.
“Can I take your panties off?” He asks, glancing up at you from between your thighs. The pad of his thumb brushes against your clit, and you jolt in surprise.
A gasp escapes your lips as you're overtaken by the sensation, yet swiftly, you find yourself nodding frantically in response, “Please.”
Overrun with desperation, Sirius pulls at them with such fervor that they nearly tear as he tugs them off. You can't help but giggle at his fervor, amused by his frantic actions and the unmistakable look of pure desire written across his face. He wouldn't be surprised if he was drooling, staring the sight of your glistening pussy.
“I want to be inside of you.” He declares, standing up from the floor, leaning over you to firmly grasp your jaw before capturing your lips in a heady, intoxicating kiss. The moan that escapes you sounds so foreign, so unlike yourself, that it catches you by surprise, leaving you momentarily taken aback. You don't bother vying for dominance, allowing him to take control of the kiss. He withdraws from you leaving your chest heaving and breaths coming in ragged gasps.
“Take your pants off.” You demand, reaching desperately for the band of his pajamas to shove them off. Sirius beats you to the task, swiftly shoving them off himself in a display of impatience.
“Sirius.” Drool pools in your mouth at the sight of him. Long, thick, and pretty. Your lips part slightly, and you look up at Sirius in surprise, caught off guard by him. For a fleeting moment, you sit there, eyes locked, contemplating whether you'll be able to take him or not. He’s bigger than anyone you have ever been with before.
Sirius doesn’t let you stare for too long before his fingers are sliding through your soaked folds and brushing over your clit. Whimpers and moans tumble past your lips as Sirius rubs firm circles over you to get you adjusted before dipping down and pressing two fingers into you. A cry escapes you at the intrusion, and your hand instinctively reaches down to grip his bicep firmly.
Sirius startles you by leaning down and pressing the softest kiss to your clit, before licking you the bundle of nerves softly. Your body tenses with pleasure, hands gripping the sheets beneath you.
“I’ve always wanted to taste you.” He confesses a surge of heat courses through your body, igniting every nerve ending as you absorb his words. He doesn’t waste another second before leaning down and gently sucking on your clit.
"Please don't stop." You plead softly, and Sirius complies, continuing with unwavering determination. He nips and sucks, licking through your folds and holding your thighs open for him. His fingers continue to slide in and out of you; the sounds you’re making are obscene.
You’re struck by the thojught that this doesn't compare to any other times that you’ve been eaten out. But maybe it's not just his technique that feels good; it might be the fact that its Sirius who’s between your legs.
Your thighs tremble, and a euphoric sensation begins to build up in your stomach, making it feel like you are floating on a delightful high.
“Sirius, I need you.” You gasp sharply, your fingers instinctively tugging on his hair, signaling for him to ease up. You wanted to come together for your first time, as cheesy as it may have been.
As he rises to his feet, your eyes meet, and contagious, goofy smiles spread across both of your faces. In this shared moment, a mutual understanding passes between you—acknowledging the absurdity of the situation yet reveling in the fact that there's nowhere else you'd rather be.
You watch as he wraps his hand around himself, dragging his hand up and down a few times. He whispers for you to scoot back until your head rests against the pillow, and with a gentle nod, you comply. He follows suit, settling on his haunches before you, creating a comforting, intimate space between you both.
“Y’ready?” He asks in a hushed tone, leaning in to hover over you, and at that moment, a rush of memories floods your mind, reminiscent of yesterday by the lake. You're convinced you must look rather pathetic with the speed of your nod, but Sirius only responds with a sweet smile.
With a grip on his cock, he slides the tip through your slick, both of you sucking in a breath at the sensation. He gently pushes at your entrance. Sirius steals a glance up at you, silently seeking reassurance, and you respond with a simple nod and a warm smile, letting him know that everything is perfect. Sirius catches you off guard as he leans down, tenderly pressing the gentlest of kisses to your lips, a gesture filled with unexpected sweetness.
His gaze shifts, watching as he pushes his cock inside of you, letting out a string of curses as your pussy grips him tight, pulling him deeper inside.
“Fuck,” Gritting his teeth, he squeezes his eyes shut, breathing deeply through his nose, determined to regain control and prevent himself from losing composure. He’s sitting fully inside you, and he has to take a breather because you feel better than he could have ever imagined. The last thing he wants is for this to end as soon as it begins.
His voice sounds utterly shattered, “You’re so wet, fuck.”
You entwine your fingers in his hair, feeling the soft strands between your fingertips as you pull him closer, urging him to meet your lips with his own. The anticipation builds as his warm breath mingles with yours, creating an intimate connection before the gentle press of his lips against yours. Parting your lips, you deepen the kiss, and Sirius eagerly reciprocated.
“Sirius. Fuck me, please.” You exhale softly against his lips, and Sirius responds with a low, guttural groan of longing and desire.
He doesn’t waste any time before dragging his cock along the sensitive walls of your pussy, before thrusting back into you, “God, your pussy feels incredible.” The cry that escapes you resonates loudly in the room, and you're immensely grateful that everyone is out at Hogsmeade. The absence of others allows you the freedom to be as uninhibited as you are, knowing that the full dorms would never afford you the same level of privacy and volume.
“Feels so good.” You gasp, head rolling to the side, your cheek resting against the pillows. Sirius’ hands rest against the back of your thighs, holding your legs against your chest, giving a clear view of the way his cock is so seamlessly slipping inside of you.
He watches you, transfixed on the way your brows pinch together in pleasure, lips parting to let moans slip past. It's as if a dam has burst within Sirius, an unstoppable torrent of words and emotions pouring forth as he finds himself unable to contain everything he's been holding back.
“Fuck, you sound s’pretty, sweet girl,” The groan that leaves his lips is downright sinful. “Thought about this pretty pussy all day. Pretended to be sick just to get off to the thought of you.”
“Sirius.” You whine, reaching out to thread your fingers through his hair and pull him down to you. You’re soaked and aching, desperate for Sirius to fuck you faster. However, much to your disappointment, he remains insistent on maintaining a slow, teasing pace.
“Pictured, tugging that fucking bikini top down. Watching your tits bounce while I fuck you. Fuck, cumming all over them.” The whine that escapes you feels pathetic, and under different circumstances, you would've been embarrassed by it. However, given the situation you're in, embarrassment takes a backseat.
“I know, baby. I know.” He complies, adjusting his position so that his right arm supports him above you while his left hand gently traces your skin. Brushing over your nipples, trailing up and over your tits, before placing his hand loosely around the base of your throat.
“You’re fucking perfect,” He grunts, admiring how ruined you look for him. Your mascara smudged beneath your eyes from tears, and your lips swollen from his earlier kisses. He loved seeing you like this. Being the one to ruin you, to smudge your makeup and bring you to tears. “Taking my cock s’well.”
You’re incoherent, begging for Sirius to go harder, to fuck you faster. Hands pawing at his ass, desperately trying to bring him closer.
His hand squeezes your throat gently, “Tell me you want me to fuck you harder. C’mon love, wanna hear you beg for it.”
A smug grin tugs on Sirius’ lips as he watches you struggling to form words. You’re getting close if the way you’re squeezing him so tight and rolling your hips is any indicator.
But then a desperate, needy whine with the words he so badly wants to hear slips past your lips. Babbling about needing his cock and wanting him to ruin you. The second he hears your pleas, he thrusts into you harder, setting a brutal new pace that has you crying for him.
“I’ll give you anything you ask for, m’love.” He speaks so sincerely that you feel a surge of emotions welling up inside, an overwhelming urge threatening to bring tears to your eyes.
Overcome with your emotions, you reach for Sirius’ hand and interlace them together before Sirius presses your clasped hands into the sheets. His headboard thumps against the wall rhythmically.
“Need you to fill me up. Please.” You plead desperately, and Sirius curses, his voice rough and strained.
“Shit, that’s my girl. Want me to fill you with my cum?” It's the praise that pushes you over the edge. Your back arches, pressing your breasts into Sirius’ chest and your legs tremble.
“Doing so good f’me.” He’s close behind you. Your tight, wet walls clenching around him is what does it for him.
“Fuck, baby. Gonna cum. Fuck.” Sirius moans, burying his head in the crook of your neck as his hips stutter and you cry out at the feeling of his warm cum filling you up. You clench his hand tightly, your nails likely leaving imprints on his skin. A sob escapes your lips, and your fingers weave through his hair, a desperate attempt to draw him closer.
You both remain entwined, lost in each other's embrace as you gradually come down from the euphoric highs. The room resonates with the sound of your intertwined breaths, each one heavy and labored. Your body feels utterly slack, every muscle loosened, and you're so relaxed that you could easily doze off at any moment.
Sirius presses a couple of tender kisses against your neck, eliciting a satisfied hum from you. When he withdraws from you, a wince escapes you as you feel the separation, and Sirius’ eyes dart up to you in concern.
“Y’okay, sweet girl?”
“I’m okay, just sore.” You grace him with a sweet smile, and Sirius leans in, gently pressing a tender kiss to your forehead.
“Gonna get a towel, one second.” He assures you, rising from the bed and disappearing into the bathroom. You listen to the faucet running and the faint sounds of the cupboard opening and closing. Lying back, you gaze up at the ceiling, absently nibbling on your thumbnail until a smile breaks across your face at the thought of what just happened.
“Here, love.” Sirius says, sitting on the edge of the bed holding a washcloth in his hand. He’s got a fresh pair of pajama pants on, you didn’t even notice him grab clothes from his trunk, too lost in your thoughts.
Sirius gently grips your ankle, encouraging you to spread your legs. His breath hitches at the sight of his cum dripping out of you and onto his sheets, desperately hoping to see this sight again. He murmurs a curse under his breath, his touch gentle as he delicately uses the warm washcloth to clean between your thighs.
“There.” He whispers softly before aiding you to sit up. As you glance over, you notice the t-shirt and pajama pants laid out beside him, meant for you. Your heart swells with warmth as he assists you in slipping it over your head. With a grateful smile, you slide into the pajama pants. Meanwhile, Sirius utters evanesco to fix the sheets up, before joining you in bed.
“C’mere.” He beckons to you, sinking into the pillows, and you nestle against him, finding solace as you rest your head on his chest.
In the silence, you both relish the comfort of each other's embrace, enveloped in a cocoon of intimacy. Lost in contemplation, your mind wanders, grappling with what just happened and what that meant for the both of you.
"That wasn't just a one-time thing, was it?" You inquire, the hopefulness evident in your tone.
"No," Sirius responds, tilting your chin so you can meet his gaze. "I want you to be mine, for real this time."
The fluttering butterflies that dance through your stomach are overwhelming as you absorb his words. A lovesick grin spreads across your lips, unable to contain the rush of emotions coursing through you, “Then I'm all yours."
You settle back into Sirius, and his arms hold you against him. The rhythmic rise and fall of his chest beneath your head lull you into a serene state, the sound of his steady heartbeat serving as a soothing lullaby that guides you into a peaceful sleep.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
"I'm sorry, so you asked us to fake it not for Lily, but for Sirius and I to get together?" You gaze at James, confused, knitting your brows, while he sits opposite you at the table. Remus and Sirius are absorbed in their own conversation, and Peter is having breakfast with the girl he harbors a crush on. Despite their current status as friends, Peter seems overjoyed nonetheless.
James grins, casting you a smug look. "I mean, Lily genuinely thought you and I were a thing. At first, it really was because Lily thought we were together, but then I realized that this was the perfect way to get you and Sirius together.”
“James! So you lied to us?” You huff in disbelief.
James shrugs nonchalantly, his demeanor radiating an air of casual indifference, “You already knew I lied to Lily; what’s the difference?”
You sigh softly, "That's true, but what about you and Lily? Are you two getting together?"
James smiles, “We’ll get there eventually. This was more about you and Sirius. And before you start, yes, I’ll tell her the truth.” He sends you a pointed look, and you chuckle, already preparing to remind him to come clean to Lily.
"You're certifiably insane." You tease, exhaling a laugh.
“Well, it worked, didn’t it? You got the guy.” James watches with delight as a lovesick smile effortlessly graces your face before you steal a glance at Sirius.
"Oh, hey. Pick up your clothes next time you're napping with Sirius," He remarks casually, but the emphasis on the word napping lets you know that he's fully aware there was more happening than just sleep. "My shoe got tangled in your bra."
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